#thats all the dark pictures games | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

norrizzandpia · 6 months

Text

Longing Glances and Whispered Confessions (LN4)

Summary: In which, in the darkness of the night, Lando Norris loves Y/n Fewtrell, only for the pain of their secrecy to plague them in the daylight.

Warnings: language, a shit ton of really sad fights, the break up scene is unlike anything ive ever written, i feel so bad for y’all, this shit hurt my heart

Note: plz forgive me with the part 2 i am promising you

Note (part 2): also i think I’m going to start adding lyrics and pictures at the beginning of my longer, more heartbreaking imagines (so basically everything i write) that describe the situation in a nutshell. I just think it makes it more dramatic and poetic 🤭 also also this imagine wasn’t written along the lines of illicit affairs i just listened to it while i wrote and took inspiration from it but feel free to listen to it while you read! Thats why i linked it

UPDATE: i posted part 2 queens

“And that’s the thing about illicit affairs, and clandestine meetings, and longing stares, it’s born from just one single glance, but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times” - Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs

“Y/n?” Lando’s voice traveled through the hallway, meeting her ears in the kitchen.

“Yeah?” She yelled back, eyes lingering on the wall in front of her in concentration of his next words.

“Can you come tell me if this skin on Halo is stylish?” He giggled, eliciting a giggle from her as she paddered softly into his gaming room, coming into view of his camera and allowing the chat to go wild with her presence.

She bent down, arm leaning on his shoulder as she inspected the animatronic, “I think it’s cool, yeah!”

Lando’s eyes twinkled up at her, “Really?! Your brother thinks it’s ugly.”

She reared around when Max came into the room, “Fewtrell! Don’t be mean!”

His hip popped out and he stared at her blankly, “Y/n, first of all, your last name is Fewtrell too, so I’m not sure why you’re calling me that. It doesn’t have the same effect. Second of all, it is ugly. I don’t care if that’s mean.”

Lando scoffed from behind her, but went quiet when her small hand squeezed his shoulder in a comforting manner, “Don’t be discouraged, Lan. If you think it’s cute, then that’s all that matters.”

Again, his eyes poured out love for her. His body buzzed and his cheeks warmed under her smile, something that visited him in his dreams at night. His head tilted, mind glazing over at the way she reassured him, supported him. He knew he was crazy for going this deep over her words on a gaming skin, but that was the way he was with her. Secretly obsessed.

Nevertheless, her touches were fleeting and she was exiting the room with her brother, the two in deep discussion about her calling him by their last name.

Lando, on the other hand, was left to address the chat’s exposing messages.

ln4andop81

He’s so in love with her when will anybody realize it

—

Lando couldn’t believe how wasted Y/n was. As she stumbled to his car, he got out quickly, not realizing how much she had drunk when he wasn’t there to stop her.

“LAN!” She yelled, arms wrapping around his neck when he got close enough.

He chuckled, dragging her body over to the passenger seat and gently lowering her into it. He leaned against the door, smiling at her dazed demeanor, “Fun night?”

She nodded, eyes wandering around, “Yeah, except I missed you.”

Even her drunk words made his heart beat faster than normal. He knew she was impaired, she didn’t understand what she was saying or what it meant, but he still took it and held on. He had admired her so heavily from afar that any inference of requited love had him in a death grip.

Nodding and walking back around to his side, he got in and started the engine again. From his turned around position, arm splayed against the back of her seat as he backed out, she giggled, “Anyone ever told you how hot you are?”

He choked on air, mind spinning out at the question she had blurted out so easily. His lungs seemingly constricted, loss of breath prevalent as he stopped the car.

With his trunk sticking out, Lando looked at her deeply, “What?”

“You’re hot. I’ve always thought that. That and about what it’d be like to be with you. Always wondered about that. Always wanted that.” She replied, laughter continuing as if she wasn’t destroying the reality Lando had built up in his head to protect himself from the feelings he held for his best friend’s little sister.

He shook his head, resuming his prior actions, “You’re drunk, Y/n.”

Her singsong voice replied, “Drunk words are sober thoughts!”

He drove her home, helping her into bed and making sure she was okay before turning out the lights and driving back to his apartment. Throughout it all though, he wondered if drunk words really were sober thoughts.

—

The morning after, Lando’s mind was eating at itself over Y/n’s comments the night before. He had been so agitated that he drove to her house, pounding on her door impatiently.

When she opened it, looking incredibly hungover, he stormed in and paced the space of her living room before turning around and coming to a stand still.

“Are you okay?” She questioned, eyebrows furrowed at his neurotic movements.

“No, you said things last night and I need to know if they’re true.” He tried, voice very clearly pleading.

She sat down on the couch, staring up at him confusedly, “What’d I say?”

“You said that you wondered what it’d be like to be with me. You said you’d always wanted that.” He said forcefully, pacing starting again as his nerves stopped his ability to look at her.

Her heart stopped, wishing that she hadn’t gotten drunk, called her brother’s best friend, and proceeded to spill everything she felt for him. Similarly, she couldn’t look at him either, too scared for the reaction he would have to her reply.

“Yes, that is true.” She heard his steps stop, however she didn’t see him or what he was doing until he came and sat down next to her.

She was on the verge of tears, ready for a calm rejection from him, but was surprised when his hands gently took her face and turned it to look up at him.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered, eyes searching hers, but only seeing astonishment.

“Yeah,” She said back, a smile breaking out when he leaned down and captured her lips with his.

It was slow, passionate as the two learned of the feelings the other had suppressed for just as long as they had. It was heartbreaking, the way they had missed time to be together out of the fear of losing the other, but they were kissing each other and things were finally fitting.

When he pulled back, hands still cradling her jaw, he smiled at her and she beamed back.

Whispers of how much they loved each other lingered in the air as he led her upstairs to her bedroom.

—

Max was always upfront about how against he was of the idea of Y/n and Lando. Promptly, Y/n and Lando decided it was best to keep everything a secret until time passed and they grew certain of their future together.

The only problem was that, from the start, they knew there would never be an end.

That complicated things. The uncertainty and confusion over when they would tell Max warranted an overwhelming amount of fights. Fights that took place in the small time they had to spend together.

“CAN’T YOU JUST SEE WHERE I’M COMING FROM?!” She yelled at him, hands flailing around with a face so disappointed in her boyfriend, it pained him to see.

“I DO! I DO SEE WHERE YOU’RE COMING FROM, BUT WE HAVE TO BE REALISTIC, Y/N! I MEAN, SHIT, AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP?” His words cut her soul, the man she loved judging her character after having told her how it was one of the things he loved most about her.

She scoffed, arms crossing over her chest in a physical plea for protection from his cruel, strategic insults, “FUCK YOU, LANDO.”

His hands flew out by his sides, an exacerbated sigh leaving his mouth, “GET OVER YOURSELF!”

She shook her head, it falling down exhaustedly, “I’m so fucking over this.”

He laughed dryly, “What? You want to break up now?”

She huffed, stomping her foot on the ground, “NO! I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME AND TELL ME WHEN YOU’LL DO IT UNASHAMED!”

He stared at her, eyes searching hers for answers that were reasonable, “Y/n, you know I love you and you know I can’t give you a timeline of when the public, especially your brother, will accept us.”

She turned away, wiping the tears that had fallen down her face, “I’m so fucking exhausted of this. It’s been six months, Lando. And I’ve loved you for so much longer. It’s been years of having to hide how I feel about you and now that I have it, I still can’t show it.”

His presence loomed behind her, hands falling onto her shoulders softly before his lips kissed the skin, “I know, baby, and I’m so sorry. I truly am. For everything, the fight and this feeling, I’m sorry.”

She turned back around, body being held by him, “I know you are. I know this isn’t what you want. I’m sorry for that too, but, Lan,” She trailed off, his nodding taking place.

“I know, I know.” He assured, signaling that he understood how sick she was of pretending like there wasn’t anything going on between them.

She laid her head on his chest, murmuring, “When will it change?”

Truthfully, neither of them were sure they would ever know.

—

Parties were the hardest. Seeing Lando flirt with these beautiful women had Y/n throwing back drinks so quickly, it could be designated as a sport. However, this time, her boyfriend was quick to stop her from continuing, only allotting for a tipsiness to take over.

With Deja Vu, Lando drove her back to her house, except this time, he stayed in her bed. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist in the darkness of the night, she spoke, “Why do you have to do it in front of me?”

He kissed the top of her head, “Do what?”

She separated herself from him, moving to sit up and let her legs dangle over the side of the bed. He followed her movements, “Flirt with other girls.”

He nodded, surprised at the topic. His words took a moment to form in his head, and even when they did, he dreaded saying them out loud, “You know, I have to keep up the image. I can’t start dodging women’s advances. It would look too suspicious.”

She exhaled a breath, getting up fully and walking over to the wall to turn the lights on, “So, what? You just eye fuck other people so obnoxiously right in my fucking face?”

He let his chin meet his chest, “I don’t have the energy to have another fight with you.”

She groaned, “I’m not asking you to have a fight with me, Lando. I’m asking you to explain to me why you have to shove this shit down my throat.”

Lando stood abruptly from the bed and yelled, “I JUST FUCKING DID!”

She shook her head, “NO, YOU FUCKING DIDN’T! YOU GAVE ME A SHIT EXCUSE FOR A SHITTY SITUATION. OWN UP TO ONE FUCKING MISTAKE IN YOUR LIFE, LANDO. FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”

He rolled his eyes, “OH, GIVE ME A BREAK! YOU KNOW I OWN UP TO MY MISTAKES WHEN IT’S WARRANTED!”

Her eyes bulged, “SO, BORDERLINE CHEATING IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ISN’T A MISTAKE TO YOU?! DOESN’T WARRANT AN APOLOGY?”

Lando scoffed loudly, heels of his hands coming to dig into his eyes, “I’m so fucking over it. You know I hate having to entertain them. You know I do.”

“Do I?” She challenged, staring right at him when he let his gaze wander to hers.

His mouth stood agape, “You think I want to cheat on you?”

She shook her head in return, “I don’t fucking know at this point, Lando. It’s awfully convenient that we have to stay private according to you just as all these women begin to throw themselves at you.”

“I’M NOT SOME MAN WHORE, JESUS CHRIST!” He yelled, pushing past her and walking toward her front door.

Clad in gray sweatpants and no shirt, he shoved on the hoodie he had left strewn across her couch when they first came in, “I’m leaving.”

She laughed, “Oh, what? I find out what the fuck you’re doing behind my back and you run away? Perfect!”

His hand on the door knob, keys in the other, he forcefully turned around and yelled, “NO! I’M NOT FUCKING RUNNING OUT WHEN YOU’VE CAUGHT ME. YOU HAVEN’T BECAUSE I’M NOT DOING THAT SHIT BEHIND YOUR BACK. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. LEARN TO BELIEVE IN THAT AND THEN COME FUCKING TALK TO ME!”

He slammed the door shut on his way out, definitely waking up some neighbors in the process. Y/n stared at the white paint, it’s continuous chipping off the wood annoying her, and cried. Cried like she had lost him all over again and cried because he brought up an eye opening point.

She didn’t believe that he loved her.

And she never had.

—

Y/n’s persistent knocking had Lando opening his door aggravatedly.

“We need to talk.” She said authoritatively, walking through the threshold without any permission.

He scoffed at her behavior, eyes rolling as he watched her retreat further into his apartment.

“Alright, about what?” He asked, his arms coming to tangle against his chest.

She turned around, looking at him sympathetically, a look so contrasting to the fiery one she had shot him throughout their fight the night before that he was reminded of how much he cared for her. That look had started it all, the adoration and yearning in her eyes that had pulled him in and refused to let him go. His eyebrows knitted together, head tilting as he willed the tears in his eyes away.

“What are we doing?” She said, clearly shocked over the trajectory of their relationship.

His mind froze, “I… don’t understand.”

She mirrored the cocking of his head, “Lando, ever since we got together, all we’ve done is fought. The love we share doesn’t amount to anything when it comes to how this has worked out. It doesn’t make sense, it never did. We were never supposed to work together.”

Was she really doing what he thought she was doing?

He shook his head, “Y/n, what are you going on about? Baby, I lov-”

She interrupted him quickly and tearfully, “Don’t call me baby. Please. Because of you, I’m a mess and an idiotic fool. I’ve ruined myself over and over again for you, and it never seems to be enough. I give and I give and I give, and nothing ever ends up meaning something. I’m sick and tired of sneaking around, using a different perfume when I’m with you so that no one can smell me on you, taking different streets so the paparazzi doesn’t see me leave your place. I’m sick of taking small looks from you when other girls get your full attention. I’m over being second to everybody else when I know I deserve better. My love for you isn’t enough for the pile of lies and gaslighting I’ve put myself through.”

Lando’s eyes searched hers for any kind of hesitation or regret, but all he found was an unwanted amount of tears and looks of exhaustion. He couldn’t believe the woman he had fallen so deeply in love with had gone on like this for so long and he never knew. It was as if he was waking up now, realizing just how much he had pushed her with his fears and just how late he was to save it all.

When he didn’t respond, she took a deep breath, wiped away the tears that stained her cheeks, and continued, “I can’t do this with you anymore. I won’t give you the typical it’s not you, it’s me. You don’t deserve that. I can’t do this with you anymore because it’s not worth it anymore. All the pain I feel, I constantly feel, has outweighed whatever this was. For my own sanity, I can’t be with you any longer.”

When he spoke, Lando wasn’t expecting to find his voice so broken, wet with the beginning emotions of unrequited love, “But, it has to be, Y/n. Your love for me has to be enough. My love for you is enough. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

She shook her head, swallowing thickly as she looked down at her shoes, “No, Lan, because my actions never made you doubt the love I had for you. Yours did. The constant shutting down when I asked when we could tell Max, the flirting with other women, the ignoring me when I was around you in a room full of people. That was the gradual journey that I was forced to embark on because I wanted you so bad. But, last night, after you told me to come talk to you when I started believing how you felt toward me, I realized that that day would never come. I don’t even imagine myself understanding the feelings you have toward me. If anything, come to me when you learn how to love me publicly.”

Lando reached out for her, but it only pushed her closer to the door, “This can’t be it, Y/n. I didn’t wait years for this to happen, only it to end this way. Please, there has to be something I can do.”

His pleading increased the tears falling from both their eyes, a painful reminder of the deep scar forming on their hearts, “No, Lando. There isn’t. That’s why I’m here and telling you what I am. Trust me,” She took a step forward, hand rubbing the skin of his cheekbone while the other splayed across his jawline, “If there was a way for this to be fixed, I would tell you. Realizing we don’t work is one of the worst heartbreaks of my life, but it’s life, right?”

His eyes closed at her touch, “But, what’s life without you?”

His whispering broke any semblance of her soul as she whispered back, “That’s what we both need to find out.”

Torturously, at the end of her sentence, the warmth of her palms was disappearing from his face and the grave coldness was returning. When he opened his eyes, he found the love of his life lingering next to the door, ready to leave him and the life he thought they would build together.

“What happens if we both find out that life without each other isn’t something we can sustain? What if we miss each other?” He tried. Anything to keep her for a second longer. Anything to get her to stay.

She shrugged, wiping a hand over her face to dry it, “I don’t know, Lando, but I think we won’t have to find out. I think this is for the best.”

Again, she sent him that gaze he fell in love with all those years ago before she walked out.

So ironic that that would be the last thing he remembered from the conversation where she ended it all.

So ironic that the face that had brought him happiness for such a long time would be the face of the greatest pain he would ever feel.

A/N: how y’all feeling about that part 2?

1K notes · View notes

diveinyouastro · 8 months

Text

Some more observo🫶🏻

If a SCORPIO starts liking you, he/she will ask for your pictures. Not "those" pictures. Your bare faced one. Ik that's kinda scary. But they love anything raw and bare. 🥹🫶🏻

Speaking of scorpios, DO NOT under any circumstances, LIE TO THEM. Please🛐. They'll know it. And if you happen to like a scorpio, and you show them your best, show them what YOU think they'll like, No don't do it. BE RAW, BE REAL, TAKE YOUR STAND IF SOMEONE HUMILIATES YOU, etc. Just be real, that's all they ask. They will love your dark side as well.

Lilith in the 4th, might have been suppressed or humiliated in their home for expressing themselves. Their emotions weren't valid. Their parents made them feel guilty for even enjoying little things🥺. Which is why they usually leave their home and never come back.🙃

If you have aquarius moon, or a friend/someone close, with an aquarius moon, TAKE CARE OF THEM😡. They don't show emotions. They really don't. It's not that they're embarrassed, it's like, so many times when they tried, they were either made fun of (got comments like "omg you feel that way???🤣 thats so childish 🤣) or they were unheard. Alot of the times. 😔💔

Also- no matter the placement or sign or planet or whatever. If one is insecure and doesn't love themselves, they won't be in their form(the placements and planets in their chart) like for example- if someone is Capricorn sun, and had a very rough childhood, were neglected, treated badly. If they dont heal themselves, they won't be like how Capricorn is. They'll start playing mind games, will seek attention, validation, might make their friends to only talk to them. Same goes for Capricorn moons, though they have tendency to be a major narcissistic person if they don't heal themselves.

Having mars in scorpio/ 8°/ 20°, very heighten intuition. They usually avoid fights, because they can 🔪⚰️. Don't make them mad, you won't like it :). Don't lie to them. Be straightforward, even if you did something horrible. HOWEVER..... if you do then wrong........🌚🌚🌚🌚 good luck gaining their trust back🫶🏻

If you have a Capricorn friend (cap sun, moon, mercury, venus, Mars, rising, pluto) don't do them wrong. EVER. istg you'll regret it. They have this aura with them and the energy they carry, you won't get it again. I promise you that. 🚫😊

Whatever sign you have in your 7th house (tropical), you are more likely to love them. You will FEEL something for them. Like when people say "oh i cant fall in love, idk what love is" just wait until you meet that sign that is in your 7th. Especially with mars and venus, it grows even more. 😋💕

Someone's sun in your 8th, no no. Don't. They'll hurt you eventually. You will FEEL something inexplicable when you first meet them, but with time, you'll see all the red flags and their dark side. You'll end up hating them.

The sign you have in your 12th house- (if using tropical- you'll like them, but eventually end up getting irritated by them, only if it's very prominent energy like sun. (If using sidereal) you'll hate them. For example, you're an aries rising, you'll hate pisces suns, cause that's in your 12th (sidereal), if taurus rising (tropical), you'll be irritated with aries sun. But will still somehow endure their energy. ☺️(🤢)

Speaking of 12th house, be VERY VERY CAREFUL when someone's planets, doesn't matter inner or outer, majority of the times, they fuck you up mentally. Because of them you'll start having trust issues with everybody. BASTARDS💩

The moon on the day you were born on, you are kinda connected to it. It grounds you, calms you down. Your emotions are stable. Like for example- born on a waxing crescent moon, you'll feel very comfortable and safe under it. 🌛💕

Libra placements are not flakey😭😭😭, they just have this side to them where they can't seem to turn people down. Believe me they feel bad and awful when they say no💔. Because of this soft and innocent side, they usually become a doormat for people🥺. So if a libra placement rejects you, THEY FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. they'll start feeling awful within 5 mins.🥺

For my dear GEMINI MOONS, the moment you start feeling anxious about some person, leave them. Don't give it a 2nd thought, just leave. Let's say your love interest is making you feel confused, he/she is telling you that they only talk to you and shit and you see a story of them with someone else, or catch them with someone else , IF YOU FEEL IT IN YOU STOMACH, ITS REAL, THEY'RE FUCKING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS😀😀. Don't make anyone make you feel like shit. ( I recommend to smack the shit out of them or go ahead just stab them 🫶🏻 I'm with you)

Also if you're a gemini moon, and into crystals too, wear a labradorite/ rose quardz or Tigers eye. They stabilize your emotions. Don't forget to clean and charge them.

LEOS LEOS LEOSSSSSS, always give princess treatment to their close ones, their friends, their lovers, their family 🥹❤️. They're very energetic and chaotic😭💕 trust me you'll like them even if you prefer silence or quietness. (That's for the prominent Leo placements, or Leo stellium)

Sagittarius + libra placements- number 1 flirtersssssss😙 BUT but but... when they fall for someone, they forget their flirting skills, and are devoted to their love only. 🫶🏻 same goes for scorpio + libra placements.

There's a misconception about scorpios being toxic, manipulative, jealous, and controlling. They're not like that. They usually have abandonment issues, weird attachments styles where they either become anxious or avoidant. And usually it is both, first they avoid, then become anxious or vice versa. They NEED reassurance. They just wanna know you ain't playing with them🥺. That's when their jealousy and other things comes' at play. They control, so they don't get hurt. They feel veryyýýyyyyyyy deeply🥺❤️‍🔥 but if you make them feel loved, supported, validate their emotions and understand them. You'll notice, all this jealousy and controlling thing will disappear. They're ride or die fr🫶🏻🫶🏻

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Thank you <3 😋🤪😍🤤💕❤️😙

#astrology observations #astro notes #synastry observations #synastry overlays #libra #scorpio #aries #astro community #astro placements #astrology placements #synastry #leo placements #scorpio placements #libra placements #gemini #gemini moon

1K notes · View notes

waterloggedsoliloquy · 6 months

Text

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

#cecil drawls #long post #i love you guys

378 notes · View notes

baeddel · 9 months

Text

long post abt accessability in games, DMC3, DS1, and control schemes

games like God of War or Devil May Cry can be inaccessible because they have inputs which require button mashing, which is difficult for someone with arhritis or other problems that affect their hands and wrists. but these inputs are generally not required to beat the game; you have a lot of options, so you can just avoid using any move that's too difficult. the main issue is that these games become more demanding the further into the game you want to go; keeping a combo going in DMC requires a very high apm and use of the entire controller, so a person with a motor disability will hit a wall eventually.

this is a design problem which i think is difficult to analyze. DMC starts from a very unique design—it has a huge number of moves, almost all of which are accessible out of neutral rather than hidden at the end of an attack string—which it has to pay for by using a large number of unique inputs (forward + attack, back + attack, forward then back + attack, hold shoot to charge, hold devil trigger to charge [charges can be buffered]). it introduces a lot of complexity, but it's actually less complexity right away than other action games; instead of having to memorize a long list of complicated strings (cf. Bayonetta's Punch, Punch, Kick, Kick, pause, Kick, which is different from Punch, Punch, Punch, Kick, Kick, pause, Punch [click]—have fun with those!), you can learn attack, shoot, devil trigger, then forward attack, hold shoot... etc., one at a time, and mix them into your play and find out when they're good. its combo system is not just complex but also discoverable; players can try out how its different pieces fit together without opening the movelist.

but once a player already knows all the moves, the game starts to ask more and more out of them. not only do you want to use all of the inputs one after the other very fast (try jump cancelling Beowulf's Killer Bee into another Killer Bee for the first time—pretty tough, right? and all you're pressing there is X and △! the inputs get harder!), but since your charge moves can be buffered, you also want to hold O and L1 to charge your shot and devil trigger for when you might need them, and you might also want to lock-on by holding R1. when watching a really good player playing with an input viewer it's not uncommon to see every single button on the controller light up at the same time. doing that stuff is really fucking hard.

so far we don't have any problems; it's a picture perfect picture of a system that's 'easy to use, hard to master,' right? but because the thing thats hard to do in this case is input a lot of buttons at once on a physical controller, we've just frozen out any players with hand/wrist problems or motor issues from high level play, at least without adapting the game somehow. this is a problem that's difficult to predict, difficult to foresee, and difficult to design around; i don't see how you could fix it without making DMC a completely different game than what it is.

so if you started from the premise of designing a game that was accesisble to people with hand/wrist and motor issues (including suckers like me who played a bunch of high apm games like DMC and Runescape and fucked up their wrist), you'd have to come up with something pretty different at a very fundamental level.

this is why Dark Souls is, in a lot of ways, a VERY ACCESSABLE action game. what do i mean? its control scheme is extremely simple. once you press every button on the controller you've learned everything you're going to learn about it (apart from one very non-obvious hard-coded universal cancel, but don't worry about it). all you have to do is dodge or block the other's guys attack and then hit him with yours.

there's a lot of ways that DeS/DS1 approached the action genre differnetly to other games, but right now i'm only going to highlight one: the kind of 'questions' DS is asking its player. if you think about DMC, what is DMC trying to get the player to do? while you can beat the game with one or two simple combos, the system is obviously made in a way that encourages freedom and flexibility, and the game has systems to reward long, varied combos (the 'style' rating). and that's all it wants you to do (apart from in a couple of levels where they want you to do platforming—ugh!). to accomplish this, they lock you in a room with some enemies and only let you out when you beat them all.

in Demon's Souls the main thing they want you to do is navigate complicated dungeons that are full of traps; some levels have mazes in them, and lots of traps kill you instantly. it's similar to Kings Field, which its a spiritual successor to, but it's also similar to other early 3d RPGs: Deathtrap Dungeon, Die by the Sword, Dungeon Lords... (in one interview Miyazaki said part of his job was to play a bunch of 'open world RPGs' for research, and i imagine that included some of these old, weird games; the first dungeon in Dungeon Lords has a rafter-walking section with projectile-shooting enemies, chain-pulley mechanical elevators and highly damage-resistant slimes). they also want you to kill enemies. but the game never forces you to kill these enemies; you're never locked in a room until you kill all the enemies, and enemies never have items that are necessary to progress in the level. enemies are just one obstacle among others. consequently, enemy encounters are designed in a certain way that makes avoiding them difficult and approaching them complex. an enemy that throws firebombs will stand at the top of a long, narrow staircase, forcing you to dodge them on the way up; two enemies will stand behind a doorway and, if you run in blindly, will both attack you from behind. things like that. it was hard to avoid enemy encounters in Demon's Souls because the levels involved suffocatingly narrow corridors and the enemies followed you forever. but it was possible and sometimes desirable. in DS1 running by enemies is often preferable and, with foreknowledge of the level, always possible. it's also a lot easier as enemies don't follow you very far anymore (this change was patched into the game after release).

running and jumping both consume stamina, as do dodging, blocking, and attacking. getting hit costs hitpoints, and falling off a ledge costs all your hitpoints. both aspects of the game (navigation and combat) use all of the same resources, and engaging in combat is generally one of a few options the player has to navigate an area. it is, a lot of the time, by far the easiest option, but most players will find a few areas that they hate enough to always run through. one of the messages players can leave to each other is 'try dashing through.' the game rewards you for killing enemies by giving you souls and loot drops, but it also punishes you for making mistakes by leaving you down on resources—less health, fewer estus, and fewer spellcasts—so the best thing to do at any given time is difficult to analyze.

the questions DS is asking its players, therefore, is to familiarize themselves with the level, come up with a plan, conserve their own resources and make it out with the loot. at lower levels of play the game is mostly about succeeding at lots of combats and navigating lots of traps over a long distance without making too many small mistakes. then, at high levels of play, the gameplay is mostly about movement, exploiting the game's verticality and taking advantage of holes in the enemy placement. but the change from low to high levels of play mostly takes place in the mind of the player, not their hands; they understand the levels better, they are better able to respond to things which were previously unpredictable to them, and they have more confidence in their ability to do what is needed of them.

so our game not only starts off very accessible to players with hand/wrist or motor problems, but it finishes there too. although, i've gone a little too far: the player's hands will change a bit as they improve at the game. like Monster Hunter, the best way to play Dark Souls is to have a claw grip in both hands; the thumbs should operate the analogue sticks, the index finger should operate the d-pad (for toggle escales, the universal cancel i mentioned, as well as changing spells) and the face buttons (for rolling, using items, interacting with doors and items), and the remaining digits manipulating the shoulders/triggers (for attacks, blocks and parries). while running, you want to hold L1 (block) so you can roll (circle) out of a run without jumping. this might be hard for you depending on your condition, but i don't think it's that much worse than holding a controller the regular way.

anyway, the point is this: you might want to think about making your game accessible not just to the general player with disabilities, but to the 'hardcore' player with disabilities. do you want disabled people to not only beat your game, but be really good at it? how would you design systems to accomodate that? i've talked about hand/wrist and motor issues here because it's what i was thinking about (and some games, like Runescape, aren't really accessible to me anymore thanks to my wrists, at least in the way i used to play them), but there are other disabilities you could probably design around. imagine a player who has CFS or ADHD in a way that keeps them from practicing consistently; could you make a game that is rewarding for such a player to try and get really good at nonetheless? Runescape (conceived of competitively, ie. racing to the leaderboard &c) was good for players with certain kinds of disabilities and neurotypes since it required a huge amount of time and dedication, it really rewarded being unemployed, LOL. but what if there was a game that somehow rewarded inconsistency? who knows...

anyway, i'm saying how i tend to think about it as a rebuttal to the way i see most people talk about accessibility in games, which is merely playing games. thus Dark Souls can be criticized for being difficult for a new player to complete, for example. but this always struck me as a bewildering way to talk about games. plenty of disabled people don't just want to complete games, they want to be good at them. and disabled people can and do become good at games and compete and win at them. so the question for me is not so much 'how do i make a game someone with this disability could play?' but 'how do i make a game someone with this disability would want to master?'—a game which doesn't create headaches for them, which works with rather than against them, and which they actually enjoy at all levels of play.

336 notes · View notes

glumet-shadow · 1 month

Text

twst x enstars

inspired by shinyjr's post called 'what are you doing in my apartment'

why are they/you in your/my apartment

it was late, you had just got back from a long day at ES. When you entered your home a few people you remembered from a game were inside, but they werent real. Right? In response you pull out your phone and keys to aim at the strangers.

-------------------------------------------

Heartslabyul

Roses? Did Tsukasa and or the tea club drop off rose tea in your house? When you walked forward onto the stairs you see two men, one with ginger hair with a heart on his face. The other with dark blue hair and a spade mark to match, you scream as you think they broke into your house. Once they hear you they scream as well running into your room.

When you entered your room you saw the rest of the group, nearly panicking you called your favorite idol, but the leader takes your phone and hangs it up quickly. "Hear us out, we dont mean harm we swear."

You want to know what they all do in your home and when they find out about your obsessive coworkers?

-------------------------------------------

Ace Trapolla

No offense, but why is your house so small? Its nothing like ramshackle. But its very pretty and looks nice.

When ace first entered your home he was shocked to see posters of idols in your home. The first thing he put his hands on was an album which had photos of yourself and the idols. He was amazed-- until he saw someone who looked like riddle. Yeah, he screamed loudly which caused deuce to come and scream at the photo as well. They soon realized the difference once they saw people riddle never met in the photo.

What does he do though? After a few days and being placed under house arrest by riddle he finds your workplace. When he sees the large building he goes in, what he didnt expect was to see you, his precious player with people who looked like himself and deuce. Subaru, the one who looked like him, screamed, thinking it was a crazed fan who broke in. Though after you spoke up about how he doesnt actually know anyone but you he calmed down. Ace ran up to hug you which subaru wasnt happy about but let it happen seeing as you were ok with it.

Riddle and the others quickly followed in, causing a whole mess and you having to explain. No, they arent crazed fans of them, they are just your (obsessed) roommates. Eichi walks forward from the idols and seems skeptical but after a nod from you he holds you in his arms and drags you away from everyone. Noone knew you got roommates! Even those who had cameras! (except izumi but thats for later!)

When ace is alone he often photo copies every album with a photo of you and edits all of them into a collage of you (having removed the idols due to anger and jealousy) He wanted memories with you to!

Ace takes a job at ES, eichi or ibara had offered it to him. They only did so to see what Ace would do when he was guarding (you) the building. Quickly regretting it because ace clings to your side, Subaru panics when ace is basically glued to your hip during trickstar practice. Everyone panics infact. Tori is very livid when he sees ace, after practice tori asked eichi if "yuzuru could get rid of him." Which eichi didnt object to at all.

After work ace always greats you at the door, and when you just managed a concert for the idols he always is anxious wondering what "the crazy bastards" are doing to you.

"Oh, your home! How was everyone else at work? You thought I was there to today? No I was off today (he was he just wore trickstar clothing he had taken and snuck in.) Want me to tell trey you are home so he can start cooking dinner? Oh my day, it was uneventful."

-------------------------------------------

Deuce spade

Your home is nice, but why are there posters of "strangers" on your walls. Deuce doesnt take them down but takes pictures of them and scratches out the idols' faces in his copies.

When deuce first entered your home he was shocked, so this was your real home. The first thing deuce put his hands on was some of the pictures of the idols, which he didnt know how but they were hidden in a secret compartment in your desk. You didnt know it existed until he told you.

What does he do though? The first few days are mainly him looking around your home for the things the idols gave you, why? He wants them all destroyed to make himself happy. He found every single one, he mainly found tori's since well. Tori also has snuck into your home, and (not so) secretly put photos of him dressed up in places within your house. The "gifts" he didnt find were from izumi, the cameras. When he found them after about a year..... He was livid and, for the first time, came to ES of his own will. He slapped izumi and nearly released all his repressed bad boy feelings.

When deuce is alone you might find him trying to find jobs, he refused any offers from eichi or ibara saying "I already have my place, and anyway I assure you I would be poor at doing my job." Even if he would be very good at it he refuses it because he doesnt trust any of the idols. The only ones he can trust are subaru and hokuto, but even then it isnt much.

After work deuce usually is cleaning or clinging to you. During or after lives however, due to much convincing from you, you got deuce to come back stage with you and ace. He wasnt your guard at that point but after seeing first hand what the idols would do to you. He wasnt taking any chances ever.

"Hey question, why do you have all these photos of your colleges? You dont, well I found like 50 pictures of them. They must have hid them in (y)our house."

-------------------------------------------

Cater diamond

Nice place you have here- who are those people on those posters? Oh your coworkers. Yeah when he sees mao he sees red. Not his mark but anger. WHY WAS THIS SHALLOW COPY OF HIM ON YOUR WALLS. Oh he already has someone. Who? A guy who is also (obsessed) interested in you.

When cater entered your home he was shocked about everything around him. Specifically the posters of your coworkers. He found the cameras before deuce only tried to connect them to his phone instead, resulting in izumi hacking his phone and sending him messages. Most were along the lines of "get out of their house" and or "STAY AWAY FROM THEM." Oh he wasnt happy about this ever.

What does he do though? He joins ES not as a guard but rather as an idol. He creates a unit and invites you to produce him, of course you agree but when eichi catches wind of cater's ideas he quickly tries to team his unit. He (Eichi) is your (lover) roommate after all, why not support him? Ibara also tries to get cater to join eden, it ends up working. Ibara and cater work well together despite hating eachother.

When cater is alone he is often actually working on stuff for his career. Given the fact he already knows how to use social media well he gains quite the following, even larger than hiyori's almost. Much to everyone's dismay he ends up growing large enough to have a solo unit similar to mam.

After work you can find cater doing chores or working on a new song. During lives, whether it be his own or another unit's he is always near you. Of course he is, who wouldnt want to bring their "lover" with them to success.

"Thank you for coming to practice with me, I appreciate it a lot. Speaking of which I was looking for my unit's file in your office but couldnt find it. I only found fine's in it."

-------------------------------------------

Trey clover

Your home, yes its very pretty. But what are these little cards in your desk? Are they playing cards? No?

When trey entered your home he was in shock, mainly that he was here but also that there was someone who you seemed to like that was just like him. He was honored but also livid at keito.

What does he do though? He mainly does the chores, since they have ace and deuce as guards for ES and cater an idol he doesnt need a job exactly. So he choses to do the housework often left behind by everyone but riddle and himself.

When trey is alone as said above he does chores but he also helps with cater's unit when you cant. He made "special effects" that made cater almost multiply, even if it was an excuse so they could use their magic together. They made it where cater's clones would do the song. Once it was done trey use his magic and made it seem lke they just disappeared when really he just wrote of cater's magic in an interesting way.

After work you always find trey cooking, you cant help but go into the kitchen and offer him a hug. He of course welcomes it but also explains what he is making.

"Riddle said you have been doing a lot of work lately, dont worry I can help you if need be. I already help cater, what is one more (he offers this to annoy the idols.)"

-------------------------------------------

Riddle rosehearts

He will take care of you and your home, rest assured. No need to worry about the first years, they wont matter in the end.

When riddle entered your home and heard the troublesome duo's screams he ran to them. When he saw someone who looked like him he yelled, weirdly and luckily tsukasa was off stage was when Riddle used his magic on him. You, you just panicked when you saw the familiar collar on his neck. You ran home to get your phone, you forgot it earlier in your rush.

What does he do though? You often find him organizing your papers for work, even the ones you hid. Often times he burned the pictures of tsukasa but you never noticed him doing so.

When riddle is alone as stated above he will be burning the cards the idols snuck into your home and or bag. He doesnt help with cater's idol work but he does help you manage with knights. Tsukasa and him form a bit of a bond, which is why riddle after about a month of them working together he doesnt burn the cards and instead gives them to you in flowers for tsukasa. An idol he hates after meeting is hiyori. Do not let them in the same room unattended, he will attack hiyori.

After work you may find him drawing outfits, he learned how to draw from shu. Even learns to sew from him just to help on your workload. However after a live he clings to you for dear life and hands you roses as a "reward" for not indulging those idols in "regretful and wrong" actions.

"Rose, you are home early? Oh me, I was just cleaning a bit for you. The thing on the table? Thats the latest design for one of the units."

-------------------------------------------

In a summary

Heartslabyul is a dorm that helps you a lot, they all work except trey who joined niki's kitchen group. You dont have to work anymore if you dont want to. You have 2 bodyguards who make decent, a super popular idol, a home chef, and a star producer to watch over you. Why leave them now? Cant they "help" you some more. Even get your least favorite idol to stay away from you.

#yandere enstars #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere heartslabyul #twisted wonderland #semi self aware au #enstars x twst #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #ace trappola #deuce spade #cater diamond #yandere x reader

81 notes · View notes

kindheartedgummybears · 1 year

Text

I like one thing... ONE THING. that was The Devil In Me related cuz I thought it was funny and now my "recommended" is just Du'Met and Charlie??? I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANY SUPERMASSIVE GAMES AFTER UNTIL DAWN AND A LITTLE OF THE QUARRY???? HELP???

#ITS A SIGN #its bad enough my siblings and mother just played all of the dark picture anthology games #my sis told me so much and even showed me a little bit of game play and such while looking for everyone's last names #like???#i know nothing about it😭😭😭#The Devil In Me #The Dark Pictures Anthology #the only characters i really “know” is Kate and Erin??#but thats because they're my sisters favs and she wouldnt shush about them XD #not a bad thing!#i love when people tell me about their interest/fav characters even if i don't know or understand :))))#and we watched a “the devil in me as vines” vid and i didn't get any of it #XD #anyways #gay people💃💃💃

4 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

Note

aita for talking about fnaf to my little cousin?

so fnaf is one of my (im 21) special interests for a while. my little cousin (age 7) has been mentioning it lately, because he heard about it from kids at school. Because of this i've ended up telling him about a lot of the lore and stuff, and trying to explain things to him. Additionally, he asks me questions about fnaf, and I do my best to explain it to him. I also sometimes watch fnaf videos with him.

My mom says i shouldn't do this because he gets scared easily by stuff, and his mom doesn't really like him to see scary stuff. My mom says I shouldnt tell him about fnaf or show him stuff from fnaf.

Both my mom and his mom will go out of their way to hide scary things from him like halloween monster pictures. Part of this is because he got kind of scared of opening doors due to the Doors game on roblox. He is too scared to sleep in his room alone and always sleeps in his mom's bed because he is scared of the dark and has nightmares sometimes. And he wasn't allowed to watch any youtube on halloween because of possibly seeing scary stuff. They think that the scary stuff is what made him scared of the dark and have nightmares, and not be able to sleep in his room alone.

In my opinion, I don't *think* im doing anything wrong, because when I was a kid, fnaf came out, and plenty of kids were into it, and have been ever since. And ever since fnaf, theres been many things inspired by it that kids like. Like poppy playtime and Rainbow Friends and all that. I also loved horror and creepy stuff as a kid. I liked creepypasta, but I can relate to being scared by some of that stuff. As a kid I was really really terrified by the rake creepypasta.

Also in my opinion I think he knows and understands his own limits, because one time we were watching a fnaf video, and he seemed to think the video was too scary and wanted to stop watching it. So we stopped watching it and did something else. And he seemed fine after we stopped didnt seem scared or upset after that. I also feel like in my opinion, explaining the lore to him makes it *less* scary, because he's understanding the "how and why". however because the fnaf lore does involve child death i see how it could be bad for him to learn about it.

He seems to enjoy it though, I'm not forcing it on him and he loves to ask me questions about it, and is excited whenever he comes over to talk about it. Also we've played things together before that are "scary" like baldis basics, and then also a minecraft backrooms game which actually ended up scaring me more than him!

Basically though Am i the asshole for basically going against what my mom and his mom think he should be doing? I can see how his mom especially might think i could be crossing a line because of what she wants for her child. Obviously his mom might know him better because he is her child after all. And because of my autism I don't really understand childcare and childraising. And it is hard for me to understand their perspective. I am still very childlike and dependent on my parents so I don't have a fully formed adult perspective yet I dont think.

But at the same time I almost feel that she is being sheltering, because I've noticed its common for kids to like this sort of thing, and its not always necessarily a bad thing. Because also theres scary movies like coraline but are geared for kids. (My little cousin didnt like coraline, thought it was scary, but thats just an example.)

I feel like also they should trust him more. He seems to know what is too much. Because he is vocal to say what is too scary for him. He seems to be able to set boundaries about it, because he will say that he doesnt want to play a minecraft game that is too scary, or watch a video that is too scary. I'm also rarely the one to pick the games or videos we play, it's his own interest.

Fnaf has been something we both really enjoy, and to me that is special when we get to enjoy something together. I of course still often play with him when its something only he is interested in, but not always. The times I don't play with him are when I'm doing something relating to one of my other special interests and I can't handle being interrupted. Which makes him sad that I can't play but he does understand that because of my autism that it would be difficult on me to stop my activity. I really like that he is into fnaf now because that means its something that I can enjoy for special interest reasons and he gets to hang out and play with me.

But AITA because this is against his mom's wishes?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

142 notes · View notes

rauberrauber · 1 year

Photo

line up baby

wanted to make a sort of ref for everyone so i can keep track of everyone's designs, heights, etc

side hcs below cuz i wanna ramble lol

fyi any links are just for pictures to help visualize what im trying to say

also add to these with ur own i love reading hcs :]

general:

the sides work with a kind of cartoon logic (kinda like who framed Roger rabbit) which is what their shape shifting and such is, they can survive pretty much everything, dont bend to reality type thing

i also dig playing around with the idea that they just arent human, they dont need to eat, sleep, even breathe or blink if they dont wanna. They just play more human around thomas so they dont freak him out (everyone but remus at least, dude doesnt give a fuck lol) they all have their priorities regarding that kinda stuff. like logan doesnt eat or sleep almost at all (there r exceptions tho obvi (crofters)) while patton rly likes to cook and bake so why not eat the stuff you make? meanwhile remus eats literally anything he can find

they can also float if they wanna, same thing where they just dont around thomas. this came about me just imagining remus consistently floating around in the mindscape instead of walking for whatever reason? so yeah they can do that

theres a core mindscape and a ‘dark’ mindscape, that sorta works like the upside down from stranger things (as in the dark mindscape is like literally upside down and mirrors everything, like this)

everyones also got their own unique doors to their rooms. logans is very sleek and modern, pattons in more childlike and almost vintage, romans resemble castle doors while remus’ is more like a dungeons, virgils is typically angsty teenager with tons of posters and ‘keep out’ signs, and janus has tons of locks on his

design wise the core sides have straight teeth and fluffier hair while the dark sides have sharp teeth and rougher(?) hair (since changing, virgil has vampire-esque fangs)

logan:

square rimmed glasses

loves the rain

unintentionally fidgets with his clothes, always adjusting his glasses or rolling his sleeves up and down or messing with the buttons or his tie

playing more into the whole ‘sides dont have to eat thing’ he finds food kinda nasty lol, again only rly eats stuff thats very good to him (ultimate picky eater basically) patton has tried and failed many times to get logan to try and like new foods

roman was the one who got him to try crofters

watches those long ass video essays about random topics on youtube for background noise

patton:

round glasses and heart eyes

has roller blades/skates! specifically these ones that retract the wheels. good way of getting energy out (even if hes super clumsy with them)

tallest + dad bod

tons of bandages, kinda playing around with the phrase ‘broken heart’

him and janus play video games together (both of them are terrible lol)

definitely listens to dad rock/dad music

roman:

starry eyes!

crown can float on its own (same w/ remus’)

has one of these couches in his room to dramatically faint onto

him and remus dont share a room, but they have a sort of portal to each others rooms if that makes sense. a big mirror but instead of reflecting, its showing into the other room and only the twins can go thru

wants to be his own side after the split

roman and remus pierced each others ears when they were younger

virgil:

decently tall but slouches a lot which hides it (slouching hes shorter than the twins but still taller than janus) also rarely stands or sits straight at all so it kinda shocked the core sides when he showed them how tall he rly was (queue roman being mad cuz hes actually the shortest of the main four lol)

has stereotypical emo hair and still has some purple dye in it

hot topic skeleton fingerless gloves and muddy sneakers (idk why it just feels right)

tons of random bruises

draws his nails black with sharpie

listens to metal music to calm down. remus got him into a lot of numetal, screamo kinda music when virgil was still one of the others, it was one of the few times theyd hang out and virgil wasnt 100% freaked out by remus

definitely experimented with scene fashion when thomas was a teenager

drinks tons of energy drinks

janus:

shortest ha

yellow eyes

bow wrapped on his hat

long flowy cape and heeled shoes with spats (thats what theyre called right?)

uses the staff from pof as a walking cane

speaks fluent pig latin, remus and logan are the only ones who can somewhat understand what he says (remus cuz hes been around janus so long, and logan wanting to research and understand whatever the hell janus is saying) it also has always drove virgil up the wall cuz hes never been able to get it, janus will start speaking it just to annoy him

only rly relaxes when by himself, always kinda putting on a mask with the others and thomas, regardless of how trustworthy he considers them

constantly coming up with proper plans and schemes, typically wouldnt let remus near them with a 10 foot pole (affectionately)

knows how to lockpick

scared of the ocean

remus:

broken crown

eyes can go all crazy, pupils can be different sizes and such (there was a cartoon that did this where the eyes would go red and have a ton of rings around the pupils like spirals kinda? i cant find a pic of what im rly visualizing rip i hope that makes sense)

ton of rings (one of em is an eyeball ring)

is like half an inch taller than roman and will never let him live it down

enjoys all the ‘bad’ disney/pixar movies. (cars, home on the range, etc) and like unironically enjoys them. prolly started ironically to mess with roman but he genuinely find those ones the best and cant fathom why theyre disliked (totally not self-indulgent cuz some of those movies are my favorites)

comes up with random weird plans and ropes janus into them whenever possible, janus plays along best he can

somewhat wants to fuse back with roman (even if hes unsure why)

remus and virge used to make fun of roman together all the time

remus is the one who gave virge his septum and gages

483 notes · View notes

honeeslust · 2 months

Text

Choso Kamo | Screen Time

🖤 After months of this just being an idea and then a few more that I spent plotting how to make all the concepts fit together and lastly me trying my best to make it a little dark but still sweet at the same time because its Choso and he's so babygirl😌 😩. Bare with me. I got a bit long winded at the end and was running out of dialogue on the readers end 😬.

Anyway...

Im glad I ain't give up on this one.

Here goes....

🖤 WC 3k+

🖤 songs on repeat when writing…

Screen time Max Millz.

Body say Demi Lovato. (Don't judge me)

The offering. Sleep Token.

High Water Sleep Token(particularly because the drums around 3:25. it builds.. ya know 😮‍💨👌🏾 ... )

Pov: A pretty brown skin girl is sitting in her bed. Freshly showered and effectively dosed with a tall glass of wine. Her favorite pillow is tucked between her legs while she plays a game on her switch. Her phones somewhere over on the nightstand charging. So her boyfriend isn't privy to the glow currently spreading across her cheeks when he begs her...

Show me...

What?

Of coarse you heard him. But something about that deep monotonous tone bellowing into your ears has your brain tripping over itself.

I wanna see em'. Face time me.

Tsk!!Choso, nooo. Im on the last level... and besides. I'm already in my bonnet.

Bae you for real? C'mon. Like I care... now lemmie see you. His voice gets all deep and smokey sounding. Forcing you to pause your game as those damn butterflies started up their familiar dance in the depths of your stomach.

Fine. You say reaching for your phone. You tap the icon above his picture, and moments later, there he is. Eyes smoldering through the messy tendrils of hair fringing his face.

Alright pretty girl. Lemmie see em'

Meanwhile...

Fuuuck! I need this girl.

That's all that Choso can think right now as he stares at his phone admiring the view. A slight chuckle escapes his lips even though he didn't think it looked funny. He only thought it was cute because your normally fluffy hair was now confined to the polka dotted satin bag, giving the top of your head a funny shape.

Baby, c'mon...Put the bonnet thingy back on. You look cute in it. I like it... you look like one of the toad things from Mario.

Boy stop. You get on my nerves Choso.

I know...He says boldly as if he were proud of himself. Put it back on... pleeease!

Ugh, fine!! You tugged your bonnet on to your head feigning annoyance. To get back at him, you set your phone down leaving it to stare up at the ceiling.

Nah! Get off that game. Cmon and show me. He blares when he hears that you've switched your game back on.

He begs unnshamedly until you finally set up your phone and bring your body into view. Showing off the tight top and booty shorts that hugged the curves of your body. Your nipples poke through the thin ribbed fabric, making his mouth water after thr sight. The little buds would gently bounce underneath, moving with the shy laughter rattling in your chest as he gasses you up.

You need that one in every color.

Stop teasing Cho.

I'm not... Make sure you pack those when you come and visit me. I wanna see you in it up close....

Mmhmm. Sure Choso. But only if you make it worth my while. It's your turn. Show me somethin cutie.

Nah. These sweats are nothing special. You've seen me in them before.

I don't care...Thats not what I'll be looking at no way. Cmon Big head. Don't get all shy on me now.

He pretends to think about it before shaking his head. Nope.

Nuh-uh! Thats not fair!

Bae, what's not fair is you being so damned far away. I feel like I'm going fuckin mental over here. He sighs, visibly exasperated, he pushes his hair away from his face just for it to fall over his eyes again.

Exactly!! You exclaim looking into the camera. C'mon Cho.... Show me what I'm missing.

He relents, shaking his head over the full lipped pout you were giving him. He raises his phone and pans the camera down to show off all the prominent muscles as they flexed along his torso. He knew what you liked to see.

Ooh. You beamed, your face lighting up at the camera as you settled into a cozy spot in bed, ready to spend this night just like every other... laid up talking til the sun comes up.

…

As a vampire who never slept. He'd spend the daylight hours restricted to the confines of his home. And as a drummer. His nights were often spent playing bars and headlining secret shows, leaving those sleepless days wide open to sit around pining for the pretty girl who stole his heart.

The opposing schedules meant most nights were the same. Him just listening on the other end of the call, many times staying long after you'd fallen asleep. Rather than saying goodbye, you'd just nod off after a long comfortable silence.

Choso never complains about it though. Something about you sleeping was so gratifying. If he closed his eyes, your soft sighs would hum to him. Sobering yet siren-like. Momentarily easing the agony of the unbearable distance.

…

Tonight was no different. Eventually your sentences are shortened to half yawns and low sounding moans, your eyes lowerin, glittering with tired tears. He smiles to himself, knowing it wouldn't be long now before you drifted off.

He relaxes against the pillows. His half naked body buzzing as it always does at this hour. It's those steady breaths from you coming through his headphones and him visualizing the skimpy pink pajamas you wore stained with your blood when suddenly a soft thumping in his ears interrupts his daydream.

He glances at the screen and it's only a moment or two before he realizes what's happened. You had to have been exhausted, given that the phone somehow ended up underneath you and you hadn't budged to correct it.

At first he calls your name a few times hoping to laugh about it with you, but then... he really listens.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

He perceives each and every pulsation with eager ears, obsessively committing the rhythm to memory. Without thinking, his hand begins to wander along his body, a whisper of your name threatening to escape the place it hung on the tip of his tongue. He slips his hand underneath the waist band, intending to do something about the intense straining happening there. A half moan erupts from his lips when he flinches from his own touch, his dick so swollen and tender that it aches.

He makes out every little impulse coming through his headphones. Now spreading the sappy pre-cum around himself and dragging it down along the shaft. Your heart thumps unsteadily, making his erection lurch responsively within his grip. His hips buck lightly off the mattress. Soft whimpers beginning escape through his clenched teeth while he fucks himself against his grip.

He swallows his whines, hoping his pathetic sounds won't wake you. But he's unable to stop. He draws his lip under his teeth, stifling his slutty cries as he edges himself to you. Pacing in time with the barely audible surging of blood from within your chest. He keeps up until his toes are curling and thick ropes of cum are stroked out over his stomach.

…

From then on, he went on thinking he was losing his mind. Day by day, he grew a little more infatuated with the girl that was stuck in his screen. He drove himself crazy obsessing over what it would feel like to lay his head against your chest and feel the motion of it bumping against his ear. He was so desperate to hear it again that he found himself behind his drum set, replicating the cadence that was set within your chest.

The night comes when he finally gets the chance to see you in person. And from the moment he spotted you in the crowd, he couldn't take his eyes off you. You sang and danced in the front row, like you were a mirage made manifest from his crazy obsessive fixation.

For so long you were only a bundle of pixels trapped in his phone that you started to feel like a dream...Your lips. Always un-kissable. Your body so agonizingly unreachable and the hold you had over him completely unshakable.

The set ends and he rushes off stage to find you. He downs a handful of drinks, listening to you struggle to talk over the music. He's barely feeling any of the alcohols affects but since you've indulged in a few yourself, you've come out your shell a little. He can tell how the fruity drinks are affecting your inhibitions as you stand and face him, a look of determination on your face.

Dance with me.

He lets you drag him onto the dance floor. He touches with slow hands, pulling until you were nestled perfectly against him. Once you were writhing in his grasp, letting you go was not an option. He welcomes the weight of your body against him, pulling your hips closer until your ass was crushed against his lap. The song is a fast one, but steady tantric movements of your hips stir in tandem with the inner beat.

Holding you this way allows him to take his first real breath of you and suddenly the rest of the world falls away. He draws you closer, his arm resting heavy and possessively over your chest. Your intoxicating scent permeating his senses and altering his state of mind. His fingertips embark on a journey along the length of your body... Pursuing the hills and valleys of your curves till they met bare skin.

Your bodys response was immediate and electric. Causing your odd little heart to misbehave, tempting him to taste you right where you stood.. Your body moves like art against him, afflicting his ability to remain in control.

He dips his head into the curve of your neck and presses his lips to your exposed skin, eliciting a sharp quiver to trail the length of your spine. Sly fingers gently began to toy with your nipples through your dress as he snuck a tiny nip at the crest of your shoulder, resulting in a feint lapse in the rhythm he had become completely spellbounded by.

You turn to face him, emboldened in your elated state. You step up on your toes to whisper in his ear that you were ready to go. He was almost too hopped up on the high you gave him to let you go, but he takes your hand in his and leads you away.

…

The car ride did you no favors and once you got back to his place, you were embarrassed to admit the alcohol had caught up to you. But he offers aspirin and water and invites you to his studio to put your feet up for a bit.

He helps you relieve yourself of your shoes, adorning you with sudden lengthy stares as he commits every aspect of you to memory.

Now that you were off your feet and you've hydrated. He could tell the alcohol was slowly wearing off. Your eyes shut as though you were lost in the music... Lying with your legs resting across his lap while you listened to some of his songs.

His hands begin caressing the soles of your feet. rubbing in tight circles, unwinding you knot by knot. He gives the right spot a firm squeeze, earning a moan that broke into a squealas his fingers trail a line along the inside of your foot. You giggle, nudging his crotch with your toes. Cho... that tickles.

What? ...This?? He mocks, letting his fingers continue their steady path up the inside of your calf. It's there that he stops to thrum out a little beat.

You laughed weakly wrestling your leg away from him. You and that drumming thing you do... it's cute.

He hadn't really realized he was doing it... but his favorite part of percussion was blaring through the speakers and bouncing perfectly off the soundproof walls. That which...unbeknownst to you was basically a musical rendition of your ekg.

How would you respond if you knew how obsessed he'd become with getting to this very moment?

You sit up, eyes still low from the lingering buzz. Giving him a look like something was on your mind.

I like this one...

He looks to you, his pale features blooming with color when he speaks. What would you say if...I told you this was you?

What do you mean?

You'll think I'm crazy if I try and explain it. Choso stares down at his hands now atop your thighs. It's ... Hard to put it into words...

Your expression brightens when you speak, helping to ease his nerves. Aww. Cho look at you blushing. You gotta tell me now. Cmon...pleease.

He's breaking apart at the seams, falling for everything about you. Your pulse stammers away in your excited state. And he's fixated, there's and aching his jaw, a sharpness ready to break through, when he bites his tongue, managing his control as best he can, all while continually rapping lightly over the little scar on your thigh.

It's you...

What?? You asked those endearing wide eyes affecting him in more ways than you knew.

This... he says gesturing to the sounds surrounding you. I memorized it. He utters astutely aware of the way your skin was smoldering beneath his finger tips.

Your eyes widen toward him and a certain melanated crimson warms your features under his gaze. Baby...you can hear that?

It's my favorite headache

You come closer but your heart stutters. Your favorite huh?

Mmhmm. My favorite. He repeats lowly and honeyed.

Let me see... You say extending your hand to him. You take his hand and place upon your chest... Now...you can feel it too.

His ghostly complexion reddens with desire. Your proximity is so mouthwatering that it alters him from each moment to the next. Your pulse yammers away under his palm causing the cascade of events currently taking place within him.

Abysmally deep wine colored eyes are suddenly overcast in a blood soaked tinge. A hungered gaze rests upon you… Riiight on the little spot just above your collar bone that was jumping frantically as your pulse quickened.

He wants you, more than he's ever wanted anything in his lengthy existence.

Its you. Its the blood. It's the touch. Its the way your lips are mere inches from his, impairing his ability to keep a humanly composure.

Just a taste y/n...please? he begs in a voice just barely rasping above a whisper.

His hand pushes up to your throat, wresting you closer to him so he can press his lips to your skin. You smell so good... I could just bite you right now. Bae...You just don't know...

The answer to his plea comes with your lips crashing into his. He can hear the air escaping your lungs and feel the heavy thudding of your carotid jumping underneath his palm.

Slow movements of your tongue lap against his, and your head tilts to deepen the kiss. He feels your hand brushing over the stiff region under his jeans, and gasps into your mouth.

God your mouth... nectarous and your tongue artful. Drawing slick little circles around his own...Rousing a heady crescendo that builds in almost perfect timing with the music still playing in the background.

You clamor your way into his lap, feeding his appetite to feel you everywhere all at once. You shove him against the back of the couch as you settle neatly into his lap.

He tears your body free of your clothes, and buries his face in your chest. He drowns himself in your body heat, drawing a nipple between his teeth to tease and prod while pinching the other between his fingers.

Ahh. you cried curling your fingers into his hair giving his mouth free rein across your chest. His hips buck between your legs to let you grind into the opposing friction. Your rapid breaths aren't enough to drown out the soft wet gush coming from the place between your thighs. Your body responds so pleasingly to his touch and its causing the burning within him to deepen. He breathes you in deeper, his hands dipping between your legs to press into the wet imprint there. The slick feeling on his fingers has him unable to hold back now that he finally has you for himself.

The next moment he's ripping down his zipper and freeing himself with one hand and using it to drag his thickness through your leaky arousal. He coats your folds with the heady slick before pressing himself inside. Your walls cinch up, ensnaring him one mere inch at a time, until your nails are digging craters into his skin and you’re stretched tight around him.

Cho... That's so fucking deeeep! You wail half flinching.

Mmhmm.... I waited so long for you bae. He mutters into your skin finding it impossible to be gentle. His nose trails down the side of your neck, roughly bunting his cock into you. I need to taste you bae... Its all I think about. Please... Say yes.

Weakly, you finally nod, churning your hips against him when his fingers thread themselves into your hair. He yanks, roughly revealing the awaiting spot on your neck currently pulsing out of control. The sharp edged incisors erupt from their confines, ready to taste. Shh... I promise...It only hurts at first. He breathes only granting you a second to prepare for the sting that follows.

He sinks his teeth in deep, indulging without restraint. His bite is burning now as more of your essence slicks down his throat, inherently feeding the latent beast within him.

His movements grow harsh and erratic. Soft grunts rattle against your throat as the oncoming climax has your core bearing down around him and the elixir sweetens on his tongue. Your breaths are coming shallow and your strangled moans are dying as the rythym in your chest slows.

Choso acts swiftly. Releasing his teeth from you to bite into his wrist. He brings the hot liquid spilling from his veins onto your lips.

Drink, you'll be okay baby.

You obey, merely sipping at first...,Still lazily grinding yourself into his lap. The blood runs slower from your wound as it heals over and your body lingers on edge. He takes over, guiding your hips back and forth, holding so tight his fingers bruised your skin. He can feel the spongey center of your womb, tensing as he continued kissing that spot as repeatedly and as steadily as you needed it.

Cho... I.... Its too... You ramble on clutching him tighter as your climax left the words halted in your chest.

Fuuuck... don't wanna break you bae... but I need more. He moans out before sinking his teeth into your shoulder. You scream his name in surprise and tremble in pain. Crying tears from your eyes and pussy.

He can't let himself hurt you, but you're too fucking good to let go of. You cling to him, gasping loud and ragged versions of his name, grinding down against his cock until your insides squinched and trembled. The soppy elixir of the combined wetness makes a mess of his lap.

This time he stops short of you passing out and finds what humanity he can tether himself to and regains control of his senses. He nips his finger to expel more of his blood. You suck it between your lips allowing the droplets to coat your tongue.

He lays your body against his couch. Eagerly searching for a taste of you before the spasms between your legs had even stopped.He kisses along your inner thigh, his fingers withdrawing from your lips to toy with your nipples. He pinches harshly, peppering your clit with concise movements of his tongue until the swollen bit vibrated.

He was leaking his own release as he tasted yours dripping down on his tongue. He moans into your cunt, teasing that little knot until it hardens under his tongue and another mind splitting release had you pulling on his pigtails.

He arises from between your legs, panting as he licked up the messy trail of blood that had spilled down your body. The tickle of his tongue slowly brings you back to life.

You'll let me have more... wont you baby. ???

You pant to him as he claims his place between your legs, and slides himself back with a sharp grunt when the new angle had you strangling his cock in a completely different way.

You're ok right? he mouths against your lips before kissing you. Blood and saliva mix between his lips and yours. He slides away and pushes back again, fucking you stupid, cutting out a perfect metronome with his hips meeting yours to the soundtrack of you own making. A soft smack sounds as his mouth separates from yours, leaving them bruised.

Yesss, God you feel so good. Bae. Mmm please come for me, he moans out feeling his body shake as he was ready to let go with you. He finally loses his rhythm. His thrusts become shallower, dragging our your climax until your nails cut into his back. Fuuuck Cho—.

Bae.. its so good I cant stop. You can keep taking me right??

Something about the half dazed look in your eye makes it hard not to keep after you. He could feel it again...

Even as your body tries to give out. He can't stop himself. Not until he could fill you up, again and again until smell his scent lingered on you. If he could procreate, you would've been pregnant for sure.

He lost count of how many times he fucked you. Right now all that mattered was this.

Thump-thump Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

Choso... you ask lazily running your fingers through his hair while his head rests against your chest. You could've told me ya know. I don't care that you're a vampire.

Endings kill me.😩

#smut oneshot #smutxanime honeeslust #blackgirlswhowriteanimesmut #jjk smut #choso fanfic #vampire choso #choso x you #choso x black!reader #choso x y/n #choso headcanons #choso kamo #choso smut

58 notes · View notes