I’m so tired.

These past few days I’ve been so angry and despondant and depressed. But now I’m just... so desperately sad. It hurts. All I want is to be treated with kindness and tenderness.

Last year my partner and best friend for many years dumped me for someone else, a mutual friend at the time. And I bent over backwards to accomodate both of them and be as kind as I was able to be. I agreed to let her live with us because living with her mum was bad for her mental health. She was volatile and abusive to my ex and constantly self-harming and attempting suicide which was deeply triggering. Still, I did everything I could to help and if I ever felt like I couldn’t be kind to her, I’d leave and come back when I was feeling more generous.

I asked my ex to move out. When they still hadn’t found a place, months later, I asked him to lower his standards and start looking at houseshares because it was so bad for my wellbeing to have them both here.

Eventually her behaviour got so bad I couldn’t do it anymore and I put my foot down and kicked her out. The one boundary I had ever asserted throughout this whole shitshow, and my ex asked me not to. When I refused he said I was being cruel.

He moved out with her to his mum’s. I said they could come back to stay occasionally overnight if they were seeing friends in Cardiff. Soon that became them turning up unannounced, often in the early hours of the morning, every other week, almost always shouting at each other. When I told him it wasn’t acceptable, he didn’t see the issue and objected to her not being allowed in the house.

Neither of them believed me when I said others also didn’t want her there and it wasn’t until others confirmed this that they actually took it seriously. My wellbeing didn’t matter to either of them. My inability to cope with her being in the hosue was irrelevant, because he wanted to be able to come back and bring her with him whenever he wanted.

Recently he took our cat, who I’ve been looking after since the breakup (long before he moved out) for a week. Then he announced he was keeping the cat for another week. He told me he’s keeping the cat and we’re approaching three weeks and there’s no sign he’s ever going to give him back. He’s not replied to my messages (which he almost never does anyway).

I’m just so tired. I was so angry but now I’m just... hurt. I tried. I really tried to be kind and empathetic throughout all this. I really tried to see the Holy in everyone, even those who are hurting me. I really tried to hold space for other people’s pain even though I was suicidal myself. Even though, at every opportunity, it was made clear to me that my wellbeing was never a priority for my ex, I tried to still be polite and compassionate.

Still, he somehow feels jaded and wronged by me. Still, he’s acting as though I’m being unreasonable for wanting to keep the cat I’ve cared for almost single-handedly for over a year.

I just want to be treated with some compassion and tenderness. Is that too much to ask?

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)

As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.

For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.

But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.

Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.

I will forever be obsessing over Laios imaging himself as a wolf (a dangerous animal, and one that is [albeit falsely] associated with loneliness) and Marcille imagining him as a cute dog. It shows how negatively he thinks of himself after his fight with Shuro, and how even if he worries now that he's a nuisance to people/can't fit in, NOBODY PERCEIVES HIM THIS WAY. HE'S JUST A SILLY GUY. MARCILLE ASSOCIATES HIM WITH THE DOG BECAUSE HE'S LOYAL AND LOVEABLE.

atla au but nothing changes except sokka is taller and zuko is shorter

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

Apparently, my decision to be silly and make fanart of someone's writing (because I genuinely enjoy the story the person is writing and I was struck with inspiration upon reading a particular scene) has benevolent and wildly unforeseen consequences.

I apparently gained a bit of control of the canon because said writer really loved the art and decided what I drew/draw is canon.

2. Writer put said artwork into the document of his story right below the scene, so now it's IN the story where people who read the story will see it (with a link to me)

3. He sent the artwork to all his friends and people he knows because he was so excited

Wholesome interaction and I watched him do all that in real time, good stuff. However...there are two more consequences I was notified of today...nearly a full week after I gave the artwork.

Seeing the artwork caused his friends to become interested in reading and hearing about his story, which means more people are reading what he's writing and giving him critique on the story (which he actively asks for).

Apparently, upon seeing the art, his writer friends got a sudden second wind to pick back up writing they'd abandoned for a few months. Because, I quote, "seeing that someone enjoyed {his} writing enough to take the time to make art of it gave them the motivation that maybe THEY can write something that will inspire someone to also create something." I have accidentally caused a writing frenzy among his writer friends and my silly idea to make art for someone has had a butterfly effect for people who I don't even know.

Uhh...I'm pretty sure there's a moral here but I am tired and have a great deal of emotions about this.

more dragon

analog horror needs to let go of daisy bell I am FED UP

Husk and Alastor have a battle of wits, drinking, and jazz. AKA how I think Husk found out about Al’s situation.

Music: JK Sax’s cover of Tones and I “Dance Monkey”

I’m not a talented enough musician so I couldn’t make the music that was in my head lol but dance monkey fits pretty well.

Alastor: Husker, is that all you got? Hahaha, take another shot!

Husk: You ain’t on a sadist’s leash, you can’t know-it-all. Can’t know what I been through, if you ain’t at a beck and call!

Alastor: Ha! I win this spat with ease, looks like you’ve hit the wall. Cuz Jokes on you, I know that too, I know it all!

Husk: You…what?

Al: Perhaps, I’ve had too much to drink this time. Do yourself a favor, banish this night from your mind.

Husk: U-understood.

Al: Hm, good.

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

when people reblog donation posts and say "donate what you can", I really feel like people aren't actually internalising it. not all of us can afford to donate $50, $100, more than that. but i know for a fact that there are thousands of us that can spare $2 or $5, and that all adds up.

it hurts so much to sit here and feel the limits of our own ability. we're not millionaires. we can't instantly fund these escape attempts. but these are bids for life, by people who never asked for the hellfire being rained upon them by sadistic colonialists, greedy for oil and land. they committed no crime other than being born in palestine. and of course it's unfair, to have to shoulder the weight of people's lives when we're all struggling to get by as it is. but our governments relentlessly fail us, they fail to scrape at the bottom of their cold dead hearts for their last dregs of humanity. it is so, so unfair, but it is up to the common man to save each other.

please. look at this spreadsheet. find a fund that resonates with you. and DONATE WHAT YOU CAN.