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dontbesoevil · 3 years

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Let’s talk about the dinner scene (and the entire latter half of ep 9)

Can we talk about That Scene? The dinner scene? (and the aftermath) When I started watching this show, I knew there would be meta, but I didn’t expect for it to be so real! Man I haven’t felt so attacked in my core by how real a storyline was since watching Gaya sa Pelikula (I don’t think I’ll talk about it more here, but if you feel like reading my thoughts on this show, I wrote a 1900-word review on MDL about it). I think every single queer person has experienced or fears that they will experience a scene such as the one that Gene and Nubsib experience. It is something that shakes you to your core even if you know it is coming.

I’m putting a readmore because this got a bit too long

It is so important to me that Gene and Nubsib talked about it before and that Nubsib said to Gene that he would 100% support him, that he did not have to do it, and that regardless of what happened, he would continue to support him all the way. Because they both knew that the battle would be difficult and I think they might not have gone with it if they hadn’t had that talk before. But they did. And then That Scene started.

Not gonna lie, I had to stop watching that scene and I had to take a break because I was shaking and it triggered me and brought me some bad memories. I am lucky that I have the most accepting mum ever, but I have been in situations where I felt like I had to hide and was just a shell reacting and observing every single details of everyone’s behaviour because if I were to step outside the lines they would know and I would be thrown to the lions. If anyone had to go through this, especially for an extended period of time, they know how traumatising an experience it can be (i.e. as opposed to remarks which is also traumatising, but more in a micro-aggression type of way). The incident I am talking about was 6 years ago and although I am mostly over it, it has scarred my relationship with some people and groups probably forever.

This scene was so powerful because of how well it was done. @jiminisverynofun said it better than I would when it comes to the mothers in that scene and the next, but I am so glad they are tackling the fetishisation of mlm relationships by straight women and the very real impact it has when it is only objectification and not any kind of real support.

Something else that I also see in the reactions of the others around the table is the brothers. In the previous episodes, we have seen them be somewhat supportive of the whole thing (although not necessarily in the best way) and here when seeing their parents act in such homophobic ways, they not only not say anything and go along, but they even go further and say really homophobic words, all the while knowing about their brothers. They redeemed themselves (at least Jab, but I’m assuming Sib’s brother’s too) afterwards by defending their brothers when it was just them. But the fact is that they also played along with the homophobia. They did the reverse of what the mothers did. The mothers were okay as long as it was a fiction and then were distraught when it turned out to be real. But the brothers both said homophobic things about gay people in general even if they support their brothers individually. It felt a bit too much like those people who shout against immigrants being the worst, but telling their immigrant neighbour: “oh but not you because you are a good one.” I get that it is hard to get in front of your parents, truly I get it, but I feel like they still went too far the other way, either because of fear or because they truly think that (in which case, boys, start working on your homophobia because you are the only allies your brothers have in the family and they don’t deserve shitty allies).

And then the dads. I am mainly going to be talking about Gene’s dad because we haven’t seen too much of Nubsib’s dad and the preview made it seem like we’ll see more of his pov next time (but I feel like a lot of the same things are applicable to him). I spent the entire scene (and the ones after) wanting to deck him and I wrote so many “fuck you” and other sentences where I was not very polite towards him in the chat because he made me absolutely furious. I was like *surprised Pikachu* when Gene said that he’d dated guys before he dated his mum. I don’t whether he’s gay or bi and honestly at this point I do not give a single shit because he went too far and his internalised homophobia is no excuse for the constant abuse and homophobia he has thrown at his son for years. Nothing could excuse it and even if he comes to realise the error of his ways, he’ll need to do way more than just say sorry for me to be okay with him coming anywhere close to Gene (I need someone to make me a Gene protection squad banner). I am so glad that Gene, soft spoken Gene, confronted him and did not let him go. That scene was directed like a theatre scene. When I started the scene, it jumped at me! The mum at the window, the brother at the table, and the dad on the couch. And Gene just kept talking at the dad who was cornered on all sides. Regardless of the other two characters who still have (more or less) atoning to do, I’m expecting the brother to be helpful by next episode and the mum by the end of the show, the one who needs to be worked upon is the dad. I know it, you know it, Gene knows it. And this is why he is not letting go. His dad has always been treating him as a child (I think it is him who says they are just children when at dinner, but I cannot remember and I am not strong enough to go and rewatch it) and he doesn’t want to have this conversation so he just tells his son to “go to his room” (i can’t remember exactly how old he is, but it’s something like 27, so his son who’s been an adult for 10 years and presumably was already pretty autonomous before because his dad had sent him to boarding school because of the GayTM). I am so happy for Gene standing up for himself. I am so happy for Gene telling him that he is gay and using those words when you could see only a few scenes before that he wasn’t completely there yet (did I pause at that point to cry? Yes, yes I did). Gosh I am so proud of Gene!

But going back to the dinner scene proper and what I was talking about re: Nubsib and Gene talking before and knowing what the other wants (they both want to come out and Gene says explicitly to Nubsib that he doesn’t want to hide anymore (and he knows his dad so he knows that he will probably react as he reacted). And then you have That conversation and you can see the two of them looking at each other (gosh the number of silent conversations they’ve had this episode, I want what they have!). And like as hard as it is, they have each other. And then you have Gene starting to come out by asking a question “and what if it’s true?” (this feels way too real and I relate way too much because talking explicitly about things like that is way too hard so you find a way around it, you wait for the others to say something that you can react to while not saying explicitly what you want to say) And then Nubsib sees this, understands it for what it is and goes for it because he is way more sure of himself and secure in his identity. And they have each other, they look at each other, they hold hand (talking about Gaya sa Pelikula, this very much reminded me of the hand holding between Vlad and Karl duing That dinner scene too). I am so happy that they have each other and that Gene can use Nubsib to help. I relate a lot to Gene and it is easier to talk about your relationship to someone than what it means, but once you’ve talked about the one, it’s easier to talk about the other.

This scene was given all of the space that it needed. I am so glad that they decided that time didn’t matter and that they could give us a 1h27 episode because I did not feel like something was missing, but I also did not feel like something was unnecessary about that whole section (or any of the ones before because you can really see the development of their relationship (not that I don’t have any gripes with some of the lines and story choices, but this is not the place). I’ll probably finish this and be like “oh no, I forgot to talk about this”, but I’ve already gone and written 1500 words so I should probably stop.

#lovely writer #lovely writer spoilers #lovely writer meta #it's also 1:30am and they deliver our new dishwasher tomorrow morning #i don't know if any of this makes sense and i have not proofread it so fingers crossed #feel free to comment and reblog if you have further points to add #i'm pretty sure i forgot some of my ideas halfway through so not everything might make sense

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mysteriouseggsbenedict · 2 years

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I’m thinking a lot tonight about my clothes and appearance and like how I want to look in an ideal world and I’m coming up with so many conflicting things that can’t all be implemented at the same time like

the professor aesthetic i sort of already have. sweaters and sweater vests, sort of classic, nothing super attention-drawing. just like very put together but nerdy.

COLORS!!! Rainbow striped pants!! or (this is very specific but) wide-legged bubblegum pink jeans!! overalls in funky colors! pastel button downs! just like generally fun things

change my hair?? pixie cut?? no, no, that wouldn’t look good....dye hair?? no.....too much work.....hmmmmm stumped

I very much have an affinity for corduroy things

pants that are actually long enough for my fucking legs so I can cuff them without exposing half my calf

I WANT A TYE DYE SHIRT

GayTM rainbow stuff

favorite colors are definitely lilac, pink (like dusty rose or bubblegum pink), various shades of green, and I think I look good in deep reds

like how do I achieve professor and also that stuff??? bright colored sweater?? WHAT ABOUT SUMMER?? HOW DO I BE A GAY ACADEMIC IN THE SUMMER?? usually I just wear either running shorts or jean shorts and various t-shirts in the summer and tbh it does Not spark joy

and like idk if this makes any sense but I just....want to look queer. I feel uncomfy with people looking at me and thinking I’m a straight woman. But I also don’t want to do, like, usual gender stuff if that makes sense?? Like it’s not an issue with my body it’s an issue with my presentation of that body I guess?? So I’m not like, trying to look like Not A Woman, I just.....really don’t know and it distresses me that I cannot articulate this feeling

#thoughtsofaug #please leave suggestions #oooh what are your favorite outfits/pieces of clothing you have??

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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 3 years

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favourite male fictional characters

Thank you @vishcount for tagging me, this was a lot of fun! 💞 I originally planned to follow your example and put ten characters here but suddenly it became a lot more oops. also i hope you forgive me for following your format, it’s neat

I am tagging @isabellaofparma , @the-cloud-whisperer and @sassyassassy!

I chose the characters that impacted me deeply on a personal level throughout my life (often shown by how long my love lasts over the years and if i was inspired to write for them).

In no specific order under the cut:

Legolas

The Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.

I think it’s only fitting I start off with this magnificent guy. Maybe I gotta admit, i’ve just had a crush on him ever since I was like, nine years old? He’s the character I will fight tooth and claw for (though I guess he doesn’t need me to do that). I love Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of him, eventhough he is vastly different from the books. Book Legolas is such a delight as well, he feels so whimsical and playful and his banter with Gimli is just gold. I was sad when The Hobbit trilogy came out and I was so disappointed by how they butchered his character, it just did not feel authentic anymore (maybe I am also just bitter about the forced hetero storyline for him. makes no cents, this elf is GayTM your honour. and he will meet his soulmate Gimli in a few decades). Either way, Legolas is the love of my life, thanks for coming to my tedtalk,

Peter Pan

Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Another childhood crush of mine. The gif I chose if from the 2005 movie because we always used to watch it and it is to this day one of my favourite movies. It’s so dreamy, so magical, yet also incredibly sad and sweet. I have this very strange fascination with Peter Pan. There is something incredibly unsettling about him, especially in the book. He represents something every child wants - who doesn’t want to escape their bedroom and fly away to experience magical adventured far from the adult world? And yet he also represents the impossibility of it, the curse he carries around with himself because he will forever stay alone, no matter how many lost boys he gathers around himself. And Wendy - it’s a love that was never meant to grow and mature, it’s a fleeting dream for the both of them. I have seen many different adaptations of Peter Pan and I have my favourites, though I want to give a special mention to the book Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It’s a retelling of the story how we know it, in which Peter returns to Neverland after having finally grown up BUT the main points I want to highlight is trans Peter? Heck yes. Gripping and compelling gay love story with our favourite original lost boy Captain Hook? YES.

Snufkin

Moomins, Tove Jansson.

I have discovered Snufkin for myself only last year, and yet I know he will stay with me forever. In short - I vibe with him, he vibes with me. His anxieties about being with people and longing for solitude? His fear of being loved and being important to someone to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself? This man just wants to roam freely with his own mind and yet he always returns for something that captures him. Mum, I love him because I have rarely felt this seen before. Also, Snufkin said ACAB.

Prince Jing - Xiao Jingyan

Nirvana in Fire (2015)

This too is a darling I have only discovered recently. I watched Nirvana in Fire this year and let me tell you, it’s the best show I have seen in a long while. It’s absolutely amazing and it also ripped my heart out. All the characters are absolutely amazing and I am still not over it.

To be honest, I contemplated between Xiao JIngyan and Mei Changsu, because character-wise I think the latter is a lot more interesting and compelling. He makes for a fantastic heartbreaking and flawed protagonist.

However I have to admit - it was love at first sight with Prince Jing for me and I’m still lowkey mad abt it rip. Seems like I am not immune to Pretty Prince Propaganda. But apart from that, I adore him for his genuine

goodness,

his almost naive drive to be better and seek justice. He lost everything, and for the longest time did not have anything to fight for. So alone and lost and bitter, it makes me sad how much it hardened him. He is heartbreak and clumsy kindness hidden under a skin of scars that was inflicted by his father and many others. I see his sad cat-eyes and I cry, that’s just how it is.

Edmund Pevensie

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

I grew up with these books and movies - they have always been part of my life and it will probably always stay that way (only last night I rewatched the first movie and sobbed). Imagine my surprised when I finally watched the last movie about five years ago and was incredibly impressed by how they adapted the book; also imagine my brain suddenly going CASMUND in bold letters at Skandar Keynes’ and Ben Barnes’ performance in that movie. From there, I rediscovered this story completely anew for myself. My favourite Pevensie sibling has always been Lucy (and still is, because I identify with her so much and she feels like home to me); however this new discovery of Edmund’s character was overwhelming. It’s interesting to see characters you’ve grown up with from a more grown up point of view. I don’t want to lay out all my thoughts here, just know I am so heartbroken for him, and so so proud as well. His character arc is amazing and maybe that’s how the last movie makes me even more emotional. Seeing Edmund and Lucy still holding on to Narnia but knowing that that door was closing for them? Not to mention what happens in the later books (we don’t talk about that). Also did I mention Casmund. Here, have my incredibly emo and depressing take on Edmund’s character that I started writing four years ago and which will forever stay a WIP.

Nie Huaisang

The Untamed (2019)

My son. My soul. My bane of existence. The tragic thing about him is, that he does not really exist in canon as I have created him for myself. He’s a secondary character in the show, always so relatable yet still brings the ultimate twist of the story, yet he still remains this incomplete shadow. The movie

Fatal Journey

gave him a lot more and I cried tears of joy and devastation. I don’t know why I latched on to him so much, but apparently he is the one that I project on, the one that feels like he sits somewhere inside my chest. I don’t know what else to say - this year he has been everything to me. I spend a lot of time in his head while writing, and maybe that’s how he’s there forever now. Nie Huaisang saw my brain and went it’s free real estate. All my love for you, you dramatic art hoe.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, another lifelong companion. There are many adapations that I adore - starting from the origin of it all, the books and stories which I have all devoured; the 80s adaptation with Jeremy Brett which was incredibly wonderful; to BBC Sherlock which shaped and traumatised me (I still like the first three seaons but I am too hurt to think about it); to the numerous movies - but by far my most favourite performance is Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. Somehow he manages to capture the Holmes I see in my head when I read the books, the sharp yet polite eccentric detective, who loves his companion so much and who has desire to help others. Sherlock Holmes will always stay special to me, in so many different ways. He shaped my youth and I know he will stay with me. (also what would you say when I told you he helped me discover that I can, in fact, be queer AND ace at the same time? thanks pal). What else is there to say? Sherlock Holmes is a universe that you can dive into and find many amazing treasures.

Isak Valtersen

SKAM (2015)

There he is, the boy that changed my life. SKAM changed my life. All of the characters did. However, Isak is special for many, as I imagine. I remember winter 2016, when tumblr was flooded by these norwegian white boys kissing in a pool and cuddling and I was like ‘nah’, this doesn’t look convincing. I don’t know what changed my mind but I remember sitting down at last and watching all that was released of season three and it was only downhill from there. I remember starting to follow the real life updates religiously while watching the other previous seasons in between. The one clip that completely wrecked me was when Isak went to the school nurse about his struggles with sleep - it felt like for the first time I saw someone on screen that could understand me on so many different levels. The entierty of seaons three is so personal, I would tell you to go watch it if you don’t know what I mean. The entire show in fact. It’s a masterpiece and it feels so real. This show impacted my life in a way that no show has managed to do before. I miss it so much. I miss Isak too sigh.

Shang Xirui

Winter Begonia (2020)

Technically, for me personally, Shang Xirui is the nonbinary, gay and ace representation I need in my life (or at least that’s my own personal take on him), but since that is not official, he’s still here on this list. Of course he is because wow, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen such a compelling character on screen. I went from disliking him to being absolutely heartbroken over him. I don’t think any other character in this show captured me as much as he did. There are so many layers to him and discovering all of his sides is a wonderful, heartbreaking, painful and also beautiful journey. I’m not sure I understand all of him yet, but I am willing to try and dig and just ponder his existence. This too, is a perfect example for a flawed yet authentic protagonist. Also he is the most beautiful thing on this planet, or at least that’s how I have been feeling ever since I watched this. I wish to write more of him in the future.

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

I grew up watching ATLA and my favourite characters have always been Toph, Zuko and Uncle Iroh. In recent years however, I completely fell in love with Aang all anew.

I think especially in the past, I had these prejudices against main characters and found them all the most boring personalities ever. In recent years this changed a lot and especially Aang is a prime example for that. Watching him from the perspective of older me, I find so much wisdom in this young boy. Somehow he represents all I wish to be in my life but at the same time he shows his flaws, he carries this sadness with him that will accompany him all his life. This inner battle and chaos that he has to face day to day and in the end - he is just a young boy. So much has been taken from him and yet he learns how to not let it overtake him, that anger and hurt. He tries his hardest to be better than the day before, even if sometimes the world crashes down on him and he gets overwhelmed. He is a child recruited by adults to manage their mistakes and play into the hands of predestined fate and in this essay I will -

Harry Potter

Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling

I am surprised myself. I thought I would put Fred and George here, or Remus and Sirius, however I realised that none of them quite capture this feeling of lifelong change, of personal, deep impact that Harry had on me.

As with Aang above, I used to think Harry was the most boring protagonist, yet my opinion took a 180° turn in the past years. Many of the things I wrote for Aang apply to him too - the fact that he was a child, that lost so much, and was always faced with challenges that a child should never have needed to face. Something I want to address is how my favourite book, The Order of the Phoenix, lays all of this out. Harry is just as flawed, just as vulnerable and angry as anyone else. I know some people did not like his ‘emo behaviour’ in the fifth book but for me it just showed how human he is, how he was just a teen like myself at that time. As for many, this boy shaped my entire life, shaped a generation, and I will forever be grateful. I’m sad and angry at how J*R behaves, and how she puts us in the position of doubting our love for these stories. I know I will always love them, but I will not turn a blind eye on all the problematic shit is carries with itself and what the author piles upon us.

Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian

The Untamed (2019)

I will try and keep this short, because if you want to read my thoughts about Wangxian just go to my ao3 and find the over 70k i wrote for them. I decided to put them here together because I can’t seperate them and I can’t choose between them. Each of them carries something I recognise in myself, and each of them is the opposite of me. They each own my heart and soul and I know there will never be a fictional couple like this for me ever again. They’ve snuck their way into my heart and have never left. They deserve to be here, together, because my love for them is indescribable. Bless them. + Bonus:

The Doctor

Doctor Who (1963/2005)

Technically, the Doctor doesn’t count as a “male” character, but since he has been presenting as male up until recently, I needed to include him. I chose the Tenth Doctor because he is the one that broke my heart the most. I adored Nine but he was there too short, and I do love Eleven and Twelve a lot, and Thirteen absolutely owns my heart, Ten has just always been the one that made me cry the most. I loved this era of Doctor Who, I loved how sad and hopeful he was, how heartbroken and yet determined to help wherever it was needed. Doctor Who is always that show, when I return to it, I am reminded that maybe, humanity and the universe isn’t all that bad.

phew, this took ages damn. but i had so much fun! i decided to leave out honorable mentiones because we would be sitting here until tomorrow lol.

#gosh this was nice #a lot of incoherent rambling here #thanks dear #tag game #personal

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little-batty-boo-boo · 4 years

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questioning

no one asked but I’m going to tell you my self-coming out journey, my figuring my shit out journey, my maybe this aint it journey

in 10 grade (i think) my friends were talking about sexuality and i (on the spot, hadn’t thought about it before) said if anything i was ace because i wasn’t interested in anyone. mentioned it to my sister once and she said that “ace was about plants not people.” I promptly forgot the whole thing

Junior year of HS i came out to myself (and soon after my friends) as bi. there was a lot of self-hate before I came to that conclusion

freshman year of college, i started to question my bisexuality and thought maybe i was gay. i also started to realize i’d never really been romantically interested in anyone and that terrified me. It was also the first time i had people around me who offered support while i questioned, which was nice. i conveniently projected a crush onto a cute girl in my class (didn’t know it was projection at the time). my friend/roommate assured me i wasn’t aro. i came out to my parents as bi over a skype call, under pressure (from them). no horrible fall out, but not good either. i forgot about questioning my potential aro-ness. i came out to myself and my friends as GayTm. I never came out to my parents again (they still think i’m bi).

either freshman or sophomore year of college (can’t quite remember) i came out as ace. it was probably the easiest identity for me to embrace.

junior year of college. the “AM I ARO” question came back full swing. i purposefully looked up aro experiences on social media/online (first time i did it in an effort to figure out what i was feeling). after digesting Feeling and Vibes for a few weeks/months, i became comfortable with the label and adopted it very happily.

also junior year of college. Some things culminated in me questioning my gender identity. eventually figured out i was agender, happy with that now.

every point in this process, when i started to question, was uncomfortable. every point was a relief when i found a label. QUESTIONING IS OKAY. CHANGING YOUR LABEL IS OKAY. I still call myself a dyke/lesbian. I recently learned that ace used to be part of the bi community. words are fundamentally fake and man-made and we’re all just trying to communicate, so use what you’re comfortable with and what makes you happy.

I WILL HAPPILY TALK TO YOU IF YOU’RE QUESTIONING!

#aro #ace #bi #gay #lesbian #dyke #aromantic #asexual #bisexual #agender #no gender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #questioning #coming out #slight homophobia #questions

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callsign-bunnie · 5 years

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Headcanons for human not related High school sides

Okay wow that title is long

Virgil: -Emo (obvs) -Claims to be lonely but has five friends -Best friend is Logan -That kid that sits in the back of the class and mutters sarcastic shit under his -voice the entire time -Claims to only like punk, pop punk, and rock music but Roman caught him -singing to fergalicious one day -Doesn’t talk much but once he starts he does not stop -Was in the gifted program in Elementary school but literally does not give enough of a shit now to keep trying -in the “closet” (everyone knows but he’s never officially came out)

Logan: -Very sarcastic -Even to teachers -especially to teachers -Knows a lot of weird information -Best friend is Virgil -That one weird kid who says he doesn’t listen to music but will jam out to basically anything you put on -Knows how to hide a body and uses that knowledge as a threat -Will fuck up anyone who messes with his friends -Being gay is just a meh thing

Roman: -Claims to be popular -Is not -The other sides are his only friends -Best friend is Patton -However, he does know the popular kids well enough to regularly be invited to parties -Cries the entire time he’s drunk and apologizes to his friends for being sucky -That one kid who acts like he’s very confident but low key makes self deprecating jokes every five minutes -Low key slutty but mostly because of his lack of self confidence -High key very gay

Patton: -Is actually popular but only close friends with the others -Says he doesn’t have a best friend but it’s totally Roman and the others know it -Kind to anyone and everyone -Even jerks -Gets invited to parties but only goes when Roman does to make sure Roman has a way home -That one friend you can rely on to cheer you up but insists he’s fine when he’s not -Unapologetically himself -You know that one student who stays after class to help clean up? Yep, that’s Patton -says he’s gay but is actually homoromantic asexual but he doesn’t wanna confuse anyone with that

Deceit: -Name is Damien -He prefers Dee, though -Pretends to be a bad student but has fantastic grades -Is on the debate team, in theatre club, and chess club and is very good at all three -Habitual liar but he’s working on it -Popular but still tries to be friends with the others -Best friends with Remus, though -Dramatic bitch -Has an insult ready at all times -Very good at getting what he wanted -Gaytm

Remus: -Acts like a crackhead but it’s just his personality -Is a stoner though -Smokes with Virgil every so often -Acts like an asshole but he, just like Patton, knows how to comfort the others -Can make even Logan laugh so hard their sides hurt -The personification of lack of impulse control -Constantly bringing up stupid shit for the others to do -Occasionally they take his suggestions -Occasionally -Best friends with Dee and are dramatic bitches together -Doesn’t happen often but can get very emotional and go completely nonverbal when he gets upset -Gay as fuck and will let you know every chance he gets

Bonus because I love the honorary sides:

Remy: -A bitch -Doesn’t care -If you don’t see a starbucks cup in their hand the world is ending -Greets everyone with “hey bitch” -Throws a ton of parties -Despite being a bitch is friends with everyone -A gbf -Flirts with everyone -Loves attention -That gay bitch

Emile: -Everyone’s best friend -Always down to listen to their friend’s problems -Sweet -Everyone regards him as just lovely -However, he’s not really well known -Except by Remy, surprisingly -Remy drags him along on all of his hijinks -good student -Sexuality is unknown but everyone assumes bi? (aka, gay but low key about it)

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Sorry if I got Emile’s characterization wrong. I still don’t know much about him, I’m just basing it off of fanon and fanfic I’ve read. Anyway, I thought this would be fun to make and it’s just my take on how the sides would be in high school au. Also, it’s definitely reference for myself.

#ts anxiety #ts logic #ts creativity #ts morality #thomas sanders #sander sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #queued #my post #remy sanders #emile sanders #dr picani #ts sleep

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femmeliving · 5 years

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but also i think i relate so much to david because he’s someone who’s been so deprived of love and touch and attention that when anyone pay’s him any he’s really really really easily manipulated and i feel like that’s just the most gay punch in the gut SAME i’ve ever felt. like my ex and i used to talk a lot about how being gay is all about being touch starved and tender and wanting so much that you’re a little blinded to everything else and if you pair that with someone who’s been abused and maybe doesn’t have the healthiest level of boundaries or believes they have to be Perfect and So Accomodating so that they’ll never give someone a reason to abandon them its like Combo Manipulatable GayTM and that’s ME. that’s me to a tea. in fact that’s a lot of lgbtq people i know, especially women. and i kind of wonder if how accomodating david is is just so relatable to me because it’s just so intrinsic to the female experience. and it’s the main thing that I feel like i don’t connect with in patrick. so much of his character is his innate confidence, and i think a big part of that confidence is because it’s so much easier to be that confident as a man with privilege. like of course you believe in yourself, of course you should take up this space. and i just feel like the part of david i relate to so much is the part that hurts which is amazing and painful all at once

#schitt's creek #schitts creek #david rose #me rambling myself into a schitt's creek rewatch #at 10pm on a friday

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thebookiemonster14 · 6 years

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gay books that aren’t Gay Books, an elaboration

i made a post like this about six months ago but i’ve realised a) that as a wlw, there are literally No books about wlw on there, and b) ive read loads more books that are Fab and deserve a place on there

so to fit on this list, there are only 2 conditions

there must be lgbt+ characters in the book

said characters’ entire plotline must not revolve around them being lgbt+. this can be referenced, but they have to have wider development. eg: trc is acceptable as even though ronan goes through a process of accepting he’s gay, his arc is also involving accepting other (spoilery) things about himself

feel free to add your own as i’ve not read nearly enough fiction about wlw, as long as it’s not just to do with being lgbt as this is a list for people who want to see themselves in fantasy, crime, mystery, adventure, school novels specifically without having All the focus on being lgbt+.

OKAY ONTO THE LIST

carry on by rainbow rowell. this is the first book i ever really read where the sexuality of the characters wasn’t the most important thing about them. it isn’t for everyone (read: blatant harry potter references) but i did and still adore it. mlm relationship, queer & gay. 5 stars.

the raven cycle by maggie steifvater. the representation is nowhere near as good as some of the others on this list but it’s this high up because of the writing and the characters. mlm relationship, gay & bi. 5 stars.

the foxhole court by nora sakavic. again, not astronomical rep, but the plot and characters make up for it. mlm x2 relationships, one main. 5 stars.

six of crows by leigh bardugo. fantastic cast of characters. mlm relationship, gay & bi, and bi female character. 5 stars.

a darker shade of magic by ve schwab. beautiful worldbuilding. mlm relationship (both bi i think?) which is also own voices. 5 stars.

vicious by ve schwab. fantastic dark plot. ace main character, kind of adheres to the “ace characters are heartless” on which way you look but i think basically everyone’s a little bitch in the book so. 5 stars.

they both die at the end by adam silvera. so sad but it’s not Bury Your Gays as such since that’s the entire preface of the book. mlm relationship, gay & bi. own voices! 5 stars.

a gentleman’s guide to vice and virtue by mackenzi lee. mlm relationship. 4 stars.

radio silence by alice oseman. gave me an existential crisis. wlw and mlm solidarity, bi female mc, gay m and gay f, gay demi m. 4 stars.

i want to put more than this by patrick ness on here (4 stars) because he’s a fantastic ov rep and i love him and this is his most non-Gaytm book, but if you do want a book about being gay in the deep south then def read release and im breaking my own rule here but it’s amazing 5 stars.

ink and bone by rachel caine has a couple that remind me of holt and kevin from brooklyn nine nine (just much sadder.) worth reading just for the concept. mlm minor relationship. 4 stars.

again, i feel like you could squeak the song of achilles by madeline miller on here by the skin of its teeth. dont read this if you dont want sadness. 4 stars.

daughter of the burning city by amanda foody is a fantastic spooky book and so original. bi mc and aspec love interest. 3.5 stars.

ash by malinda lo. cinderella retelling. i didn’t personally like this one too much but it’s a cute wlw relationship. 3 stars.

history is all you left me by adam silvera. i very much didn’t like this one for personal reasons but i know a lot of people love it. mlm rep with a bi character (watch out bc the mc is slightly biphobic.) 2 stars.

i haven’t read adaptation by malinda lo yet but my friend loved it. it has a bi mc with a bi love triangle.

likewise i haven’t read of fire and stars by audrey coulthurst but my friend LOVED it with a passion. wlw relationship.

PLEASE ADD MORE THAT YOUVE READ

#book recs #lgbt books #lgbt book recs #booklr #the raven cycle #carry on #the foxhole court #six of crows #adsom #ve schwab #patrick ness #adam silvera

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writingsomestupidshitlovelies · 6 years

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ATLA Feels Dump Real Quick

I’ve been looking back on things and have realized that,,, gay. I didn’t grow up in a homophobic household or anything, but we didn’t talk about homosexuality and I didn’t see it in any media so I didn’t realize it was an option/ Looking back on the way I saw relationships in the shows I used to watch? I kept waiting for GayTM to happen but it didn’t.

Avatar: The Last Airbender especially. Especially with Zuko and Sokka. I liked Suki and Sokka fine, but my 10/11 year old ass was mad pissy at the initial dynamic: Sokka was putting women down and then Suki taught him that Women Are Not Weak And Not Possessions/Something For Men To Own, and then he and Suki end up together. There were steps in between, obviously, but I wanted it to stay at the “friendly respect” phase because I didn’t think his romantic interest should have to have taught him not to disrespect her first (younger me? A very bitter bean.) Also, I wanted to see Suki and Katara “interact” more, because Katara’s development was all about inner strength and bettering herself by her own choice, and I felt that Suki would be perfect in showing her how to be strong (even without waterbending powers.) But also... my ass really wanted them to be in lesbians with each other, because they were very similar in what they valued in themselves and others, but were also vastly different. Suki would have helped Katara loosen up a bit, and Katara would 100% make Suki feel loved. But in the third book of the show, I was really waiting for something between Zuko and Sokka; I didn’t realize what I was waiting for, but I was waiting for them to become an item lol. Zuko is an Angst Machine, and even in the comics he and Mei are kind of like this negative emotion echo chamber. At one point in the comics, Mei is like a Feeling’s Receptacle for Zuko and she calls him out on it. I don’t doubt that they loved each other, but Mei was a prominent part in his childhood, is a reminder of everything in his past, and her naturally mellow/ downtrodden/ morbid personality doesn’t always react so well to Zuko’s more brooding personality. Sokka struggled to take things seriously until he really has to. He is the self-admitted “funny-man” of the group. It creates conflict because he hides what he’s feeling under humor. But Sokka and Zuko are good at making each other talk. Sokka is humorous and caring and all Mom FriendTM so he alleviates some of Zuko’s broodiness and Angst. Zuko is naturally a very serious (and, as aforementioned about 80million times, brooding) and has trouble interpreting people, so this forces Sokka to actually verbalize what he’s feeling and helps him come to terms with himself. I also think their banter is/would be fantastic.

An important factor in their relationship: Uncle Iroh LOVES Sokka, and everytime the three get together it’s just this relentless teasing of Zuko, and Zuko has to sit there and take it because he loves the idiots.

I DID like the idea of Toph and Aang together. I get that Aang’s immatureness was supposed to combat Katara’s over-matureness, but they get on each other’s nerves a lot. Toph, like Aang, is a lot more playful, but in a different way. Toph and Aang are such opposites in nature that it would develop their characters to see how the other interact with the world. Aang is always flitting from problem to problem, worrying himself silly, and Toph pulls him out of that by grounding him. Toph tends to hyperfocus on a problem when she realizes she can’t solve it, and Aang would show her a different way of looking at it, or show her the things she can do to get her to stop looking at what she can’t/ Aang tends to be good with emotions, but he doesn’t always grasp the situation, wheras Toph is usually the opposite. I dunno, I feel like they balance each other out really well.

I briefly liked Katara/Zuko pairing. Katara is “supposed” to be a healer and while she is she’s a badass fighter that the group relies on. Zuko was raised to be a warmongerer but it was never in his nature (see: him speaking out against generals of Fire Nation armies as a kid because he refused the idea of using soldiers as canon fodder. See: any time he chose his uncle or his crew over capturing the Avatar. See: the fact that he made an effort to change for the better and /did/.) and now he just wants to heal his nation and the hurts they’ve caused. Zuko sees himself as a monster and I felt that Katara would show him that being powerful/having a power that can hurt people (like bloodbending) doesn’t mean that you have to use it to hurt people. Also, I enjoyed the thought of Healer!Zuko who learns how to cauterize wounds and the like. I have a whole AU man. Katara also gets caught a lot in her own perception of things, and Zuko (who’s been travelling around the world for awhile, albeit with his own misconceptions) would be able to help her see different sides of things.

Essentially: even as a kid I didn’t like the pairings ATLA went with, my pansexual ass really wanted some rep before I knew I needed rep, and the Sokka/Zuko pairing is my favorite.

Thanks for joining me in my rant. I’d love to see other people’s rants.

#rant #ATLA rant #ATLA #headcanon #ATLA headcanon #ATLA AU #zuko x sokka #Zuko/Sokka is the best ship #im more than a lil bit gay #long post #ATLA ships #I explained myself poorly but I'm not wearing glasses so I can barely see the keyboard mates #ATLA feels #join me in my rants #join me in my raving #I wrote this instead of writing #midnight thoughts #ships #have some thoughts

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spaced-out-cats · 6 years

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i was tagged by @latineglimmer ^u^

nickname(s): irl, none. online, spoops, rain, and spacey ^^

gender: genderqueer

sun sign: cancer

height: 5′4, 1.62m for those who use the metric system!

time: 12:23am (00:23)

fave band(s): panic!, make out monday, and imagine dragons; i also enjoy broadway musicals!!

fave solo artist(s): this is gonna be basic GayTM, but hayley kiyoko. i also like hozier and bruno mars (his first album is a mega fave)

song stuck in my head: bullet for your sweetheart by make out monday (cause they just released that music video yesterday today!

last movie i saw: hmm i think bruce almighty (my brother put it on lolol)

last show i watched: hilda!

when did I create my blog: the summer of like... 2015 i think

what do i post: cartoons, homestuck, gay, social justice, cats, and funny stuff pretty much sums up my entire blog lololol

last thing i googled: cat smile meme 2018. i have no regrets.

do i have any other blogs: i had one when i was obsessed w astrology for like a summer and then it just sat there untouched for like two years because i didn’t know how to delete sideblogs and didn’t think to look it up uwu

do i get asks: yea!! i didnt used to get them very often but theyre more common now, which really makes my day better ^u^

why did i choose my url: since this blog is a main/multifandom i wanted something that would encompass all my interests. and also i like space and its a pun on ace cause i is ace. and i combined nerd and dork cause i couldnt pick which one to use. im trying to come w a different url but im kinda struggling x.x

following: 557. there are probably dead ones but im way too lazy to go through them all so its just piling up lololol

followed by: 282 followers that have all my uwus

average hours of sleep: usually 5-7 depending on if im lucky or not

lucky number: 3

instruments: uhhhh does a voice count? ive been told i have a nice voice by a couple actual musical people but....... ehhhh. either way does a recorder count?

what i am wearing: my nasa sleep shirt and my favorite black sweatpants

dream job: a scientist doing conservation work (that’s what i’m studying for rn uwu)

dream trip: theres a lot of trips id like to do. definitely road trip the us, go to japan, go to france/italy again, go to england/ireland/scotland, uhhh egypt... also hawaii lolol oh and quebec

fave food: oh my god this is gonna sound bad but sugary stuff (cookies, candy, cake, brownies...) and pasta

nationality: american (unfortunately)

fave song: i have a lot of favorites but... ill pick one from each of my favorite bands/solo artists

panic!: oh god too many, but if i had to pick one... nearly witches

make out monday: hnnnnggg i have two that are absolute faves: sunset blvd and fear and loathing

imagine dragons: amsterdam

hayley kiyoko: maple and wanna be missed

hozier: in a week and nfwmb

bruno mars: count on me and talking to the moon

last book I read: i havent read in a while and its so sad but i think i read percy jackson sea of monsters

top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: hmmmm...... atla/a:lok definitely (id be a firebender), uhh.... the hilda universe, i really like it so far, and......... either maximum ride or x-men. i fucking love x-men and always fantasized about being part of the team, and my favorite part of maximum ride was that they had wings and could fly and that was always a dream of mine x.x

i tag @aaronalive, @cherrisilk, @rhapsodic-blue, @princecallumsscarf, @demoniclaudias, @saphours, @iidabooberry, @geekyglow, @spookyspacedyke, @sheisthearsonist, and anyone else who wants to do it!! ^u^

#tagged w me #thank u bby ily #misha.txt #about misha #?? i guess??#enjoy this late night rambling mess lololol #you don't have to if you don't want to btw uwu #mutuals

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deplcythebattery · 6 years

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whizvin keep getting mugged at night for being gayTM. they don’t tell anybody cause shhhh that’s weak. after chess break up, whizzer gets attached while he’s with jason boy. chaos ensues, marv panics, whizz tries to protect everybody but cares too much and h a s e m o t i o n s, jason’s too dang smart for this, and the gang attac, whizz protec, somethin’s gone out of whac. sound good? sounds good. (sorry if this isn’t understandable at all i’m tired hope you have fun)

Holy shit I love this

Okay pal give me a second this might turn way longer than I intend it to but I’m diving right in.

Yep holy shit this turned out LONG.

It was never easy, being openly gay and living together. Marvin’s apartment was constantly broken into and his and Whizzer’s furniture and clothes completely trashed. More than once, the two of them had to paint over the walls to hide the hideous words the uninvited guests left behind on their walls. Whenever it happened, Marvin stood in the living room, head in his hands, trying to keep it together while Whizzer tried to start cleaning right away. “Everything will be alright,” he’d say, just to make the pain in Marvin’s eyes go away. It never worked and all Whizzer could do was walk over and wrap his arms around his lover, burying his face into Marvin’s hair. They’d stand there for a little while before gathering their strength and cleaning the whole apartment, together, hand in hand.

The tight knit family never heard of the things that happened to the unlikely lovers. Marvin didn’t want Trina to know so she wouldn’t worry, he didn’t want Mendel to know since he’d just condescend. And Jason… God, Marvin could never hurt his son in such a way, Jason still looked up to him - if the kid knew what was happening, Marvin wouldn’t be his hero any longer. And Whizzer went along with it, because he’d do anything to make Marvin happy. If it meant pretending like everything was golden at family dinners, that’s what he’d do. Whizzer might’ve had an arrogant attitude and he sure as hell knew he’d get Marvin to do anything he wanted, but that wasn’t something to be applied to a situation like this. And, after all, they kept being robbed simply because they refused to hide who they were - and that was a mess they’d never allow the others to get tangled in. They handled it together and they handled it with their heads held high.

For a while, things were okay, and Marvin and Whizzer continued on with their lives. When there hadn’t been a break-in in a while, they could almost live like a normal couple. That meant that Whizzer’s naive and arrogant charade wasn’t masked by worry and Marvin’s selfishness never got pushed aside by the need to protect Whizzer. And when Whizzer pushed Marvin’s puzzles one date night while playing chess, Marvin had had enough and pushed Whizzer out the door with a suitcase against his chest. It seemed like the robberies had been the single thing they had in common and the heartbreak they caused was what kept the two of them together. When that was gone, their personalities collided in the worst ways.

Even after Whizzer had moved out, he still kept seeing Jason. They played baseball in the park every Thursday after school. Jason loved his humor and after all, Whizzer was the only one who actually knew how to play out of their little family, so Jason really needed his company. It was a way for Jason to unwind and gave Whizzer the opportunity to hear about what was going on with Marvin even if he’d never admit he still cared.

It had been over a year since Marvin had shut the door on Whizzer. In that time, the muggings had stopped almost completely, so Whizzer’s guard had been lowered by a ton. It was yet another Thursday and, with that half a smile on his face, Whizzer was teaching Jason how to actually catch a ball without risking being hurt. He was too focused on the kid to notice the group of guys slowly circling closer. Jason made a funny remark and it made Whizzer burst into laughter, which completely masked the murmuring that the group was making. And then, without a warning, they all dove froward and forced Whizzer to fall back onto the ground.

Insults and fists filled the air as Jason stumbled backwards. He understood the situation, but there wasn’t really much he could do about it. He just had to watch as the person he looked up to as a father figure got beaten and called disgusting names. “Stop!” The kid tried to yell, but it really didn’t do much. When he opened his mouth to yell again, the words were what he wanted to say, but the voice wasn’t his: “Hey, fellas, if you don’t nack off now I’m calling the cops!”

When Jason turned around, he saw a very furious Marvin almost running towards them with Mendel right at his heel. Trina covered her mouth as she hurried to her son, dropping the basked meant for a family picnic. She wrapped her arms around Jason and pulled the boy away as Marvin and Mendel somehow managed to chase the muggers away. Yelling their slurs, the group finally gave up and left the almost unconscious Whizzer bleeding and broken. Whizzer was missing his keys and his wallet, but those were the smallest of his worries at the moment.

“J-Jason? Jason, are you okay?” Whizzer croaked as he tried to sit up on his own, but Marvin was at his side faster than a lightning, steadying him as well as he could. “Yeah, the kid’s okay,” Marvin assured him as Mendel went over to Jason and Trina, angrily talking about taking this ordeal to court. “Where does it hurt?” The question almost surprised Whizzer, the worried tone in Marvin’s words so familiar. Whizzer tried to blink away tears as he swallowed, shaking his head. “I’m fine, Marv,” he started, “I’m sure it looks way worse than it is.” With his swollen mouth, Whizzer’s words were almost impossible to understand. “I’m so sorry I put him in danger.”

Marvin knew exactly who Whizzer was referring to and he glanced over at his son and rest of the family, who were all staring at them with worry on their faces. The whole scene was starting to gather more and more people as an audience and Marvin didn’t like that. “Okay, let’s get you up. We’ll go home and patch you up, unless you want to go to the hospital..?” Even before Marvin was done with the question, Whizzer shook his head - as Marvin had anticipated. Marvin grabbed Whizzer by the arm and gestured Mendel to come help from the other side. Together they got Whizzer to his feet and as much as Whizzer hated to admit it, he never would’ve been able to get up without help.

Once they made it to Marvin’s apartment, Whizzer’s left eye and most of the left side of his face had swollen up. There was blood everywhere and he probably had broken something in his arm, but that wasn’t what made his eyes so hopeless. “I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating while Marvin tried to shush him, holding ice packs to his face, “I’m so sorry he had to see that.”

Trina and Jason were in the kitchen, Jason even quieter than usually. “Honey, how are you holding up?” Trina tried to ask him, tried to make the situation okay. Jason refused to look up, instead just played with Marvin’s chess set. “I know they jumped him because he’s queer.” It was a statement. It wasn’t an accusation, it wasn’t an explanation. It was just a statement Jason made, one that made Trina’s insides freeze. “Yes, sweetheart, that’s what happened,” she said softly as she ran a hand through Jason’s hair, “some people don’t… Understand the life style your father and Whizzer both have.” It wasn’t something that Jason didn’t know and Trina’s simplification annoyed the boy. “I know that! Mom, I know how life works!” Jason stood up and walked into the living room where Mendel was pacing back forth, constantly calling out for Marvin, asking if he needed help with Whizzer in the bathroom. Even in a situation as bad as that, Trina couldn’t help but wonder how their son turned out so understanding and smart. And then she had to cover her mouth again, trying not to sob.

In the bathroom, Whizzer couldn’t face Marvin’s eyes. Marvin’s hands were soft as he cleaned out the bruises and cuts, and he continuously told Whizzer to stop apologizing. “Shut your mouth, Whiz, it wasn’t your fault.” Whizzer’s fingers were curled into fists as he sat there on the edge of the bathtub. “I’m toxic, Marvin, it’s my fault. He could’ve been hurt,” he mumbled through swollen and chapped lips, “he’s in danger whenever he’s around me. I should’ve been careful. Marvin, he could’ve gotten hurt. He could get branded. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Marvin.”

Marvin didn’t have the heart to be tough with Whizzer right there, he just lowered the towel and stared into Whizzer’s defeated and broken eyes. Then, as gently as he could, he leaned froward and wrapped his arms around Whizzer’s bruised body. “I’m so sorry I’m weak, Marvin, I’m so sorry I made him see that..” Whizzer’s words were so broken and it didn’t take long after that for everything turning into a mess of sobs. For the first time, Whizzer cried in front of Marvin. In Marvin’s arms, he was a broken mess of apologies over what he had always wanted to protect Jason from, blaming no one but himself.

#ask #anon #answered #whizzvin short #whizzvin angst #i loved writing this

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v3joker · 7 years

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uh. ew?

damn straight i’m gonna

bring on the hate

here we go booooooi

(i’m sorry mobile users)

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

TordMatt - it doesn’t make any fucking sense at all. where did people think this was a good ship. their interactions with each other is still distaste. like, look at ‘Ruined’ where Matt complained about having to be stuck with Tord when the group split up.

Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

TordEdd - it is only a platonic/brotp, and that is all it will be. platonic > romantic, fact.

Any fandoms that don’t appeal to you?

it was much more appealing back in 2011/2012 when i joined. now it’s just… oh boi.

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Why?

yes because they were really cool and chill at first but then the tumblr tainted them and they blamed me for everything that happened even though they were at fault and played victim a lot. (they’re the reason i’m nervous and distrustful of anyone who kins with Tord)

Do you have a NoTP in [insert fandom here]?

ALL OF THE SHIPS. mostly TordMatt.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

every ship that can be platonic is ruined because everything has to be GayTM (i say this as someone who is gay who just wants some good, pure, platonic relationships; is that too much to ask for)

Is there anything you used to like, but now can’t stand?

more like some ones instead of some things. some people i knew where pretty chill and cool at first to only then have tumblr taint them and make them think everything they did was right and everything i did was wrong. one of which was where i said Red Leader is really uncreative because of being a dictator even though leader should never mean dictator right away. and they hated me for that.

Unpopular opinion about [insert fandom here]?

the fandom’s portrayal of the characters is terrible.

edd isn’t a cinnamon roll.

matt isn’t one either.

tom isn’t a grumpy, hates everything and wears piercings guy.

tord isn’t fucking evil.

Have you received anon hate? What about?

to sum it up, it was for having valid opinions on the fandom’s portrayals and the show itself.

Any fandom you’re ashamed of being in?

2016/2017 Eddsworld fandom needs to die and be forgotten; worst fandom ever - lets go back to 2011/2012 where things were more peaceful and there wasn’t fucking bullshit everywhere

#[lies down and waits for anon hate]#anon hate is for cowards though lol just fucking show yourself and i won't post publicly or just message me j e s u s #eddsworld #long post #anon #rc asks

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ambagelbraindump · 5 years

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Book Review #2: The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

Synopsis:

17-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso has had 27 crushes over the course of her life, and not a single one of those has been requited or even acted upon. She’s mostly okay with this, until her twin sister gets a girlfriend- and suddenly she feels like she’s miles behind where they were once equals. Molly has to navigate what is already a fraught world, full of churning emotions and hurt feelings and ambiguous romances, in the hope of finding someone- anyone- who likes her just the way she is.

General thoughts

Becky Albertalli was not messing around when she wrote The Upside. Love Simon was good, but it doesn’t hold a candle to what she’s done with this one. Things I loved: excellent queer rep, healthy discussion of difficult topics, relatability, also GayTM.

I think one reason The Upside really resonated with me is that it’s reflective of a lot of things going on in my own life at the moment, especially in regards to conversations about the importance of representation in media. And oh boy did the Upside deliver. Not only did we have a loving, supportive, (and Jewish!!) lead family with two moms, we had a pan character, several bi characters, at least two gay, and a trans character (off-screen, but still cool). There was also a mention of asexuality which was really validating for me personally. I know a lot of people would put this down as ‘pandering’, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like this is actually pretty reflective of what I’ve observed in my own circles. And maybe it depends on where you live (a university town for me), but a large number of my friends identify as bi or pan (with a sprinkling of other identities). Having such a diverse array of LGBT characters is such a fantastic change from just the one token queer who may or may not even make it to the end of the book or show.

Another reflective aspect was the sense of “lostness” conveyed by Molly throughout most of the book. I’ve had a lot of conversations with friends lately (especially those who have either graduated or never went the college route) about how they feel left behind in life, or feel like they’re missing something that everyone else just seems to get. A big part of the story was Molly’s fears about drifting away from her twin sister as they grow older; while I might not be 17, I can definitely relate with the fear of losing friends and relationships as we all go our separate ways post-college.

The Upside also came at an interesting time in my life as I am currently experiencing my first squish (aro version of a crush). To me, the whole thing is very low-key and I honestly would be 100% okay just being friends, which is a very interesting contrast to Molly’s 27 crushes and neverending quest for a relationship. Whether I’ll actually do something about my feelings is up in the air at this point, but reading this book made me wonder if I should take that first step and put myself out there.

Another thing I really liked about The Upside were the discussions of healthy sexuality. Sex was never framed as something shameful or evil, but just another part of life. Characters were never pushed to participate, but if they did, they were encouraged to be safe about it (both emotionally and physically.)

There were also a few things I was a little iffy about. This could just be part of me being sex and romance repulsed, but I felt bad for Molly that she felt like finding a relationship was something she HAD to do. And granted that’s the entire plot of the story so it would be a little weird if she just suddenly decided she didn’t need someone after all, but I felt like there was a really heavy emphasis on the idea of having a boyfriend. Same goes for the idea of sex- it annoyed me a little that Molly felt like it was something inevitable, something she had to do or she would never be valid. Again, this just might be me getting grossed out by sex and romance, but the thought definitely crossed my mind a couple times.

There’s so much more about this book I could talk about (like the Jewish lesbian wedding at the end, or the fact that Albertalli set this book in the same year that gay marriage became legal), but I have other projects and other books to read, so I’m going to stop before I write a whole book on this.

Rating

Originally I had this book at a 7 (it took me forever to get to for some reason), but as I got more invested, it moved up to an 8, and finally up to an 8.5 (listen I might be romance repulsed af but the wedding scene at the end made me cry so it gets an extra .5). The whole story was really relatable and real even to someone who isn’t a teenager anymore, and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who wants an LGBT-friendly YA coming of age novel. Or someone who just wants to read something super gay. That’s also valid.

#the upside of unrequited #book review #becky albertalli #bookblr #LGBT fiction

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