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canirove · 2 months

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In The Name of Love | Chapter 32

Auhor's note: Two things. 1: Only three chapters (two + epilogue) left! 😱 And 2... I'm sorry 🫣

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"I don't know who has eaten more candy, me or the kids" Emma says.

"I think it's a draw" I chuckle.

"You could have also eaten some, you know? Some sugar will do you good, cheer you up."

"I'm fine, Emma."

"No, you aren't. You don't need any make up to look dead, you've been leaving in a constant Halloween for the past weeks."

"Wow, thank you" I laugh.

"Val, I'm sorry if it sounds mean, but I'm worried about you. Are you sure you are ok?"

"I'm fine" I repeat. But I'm not.

Since the game against Manchester United, things haven't improved. At the stadium no one has bothered me again, probably because Dani did talk with someone. And at the school people don't gossip about me anymore. But online…

Online the mole has kept sharing photos and things about me, the haters loving it, their mean comments getting worse and worse. And nothing seems to be stopping them, not even Pedri giving an interview and calling them out for their behaviour.

"You are such a bad liar, Val…" Emma says. "And that's why you are having lunch with me and my family today."

"What?"

"Yep. You need to have a proper meal, and if there is someone who can give you that, that's my mum. So c'mon" she says, linking her arm with mine and starting to walk.

"Emma, I don't want to bother your family."

"You won't be bothering anyone. They haven't seen you in ages, they are looking forward to it."

"Shouldn't we get rid of this make up, first? I don't know how they will feel if we show up looking like skeletons."

"Stop inventing excuses and let's go" she says, dragging me outside the school.

"Bye, Miss Valeria! Happy Halloween!"

"Happy Halloween" I smile to some of the kids waiting for their parents. And when we cross the main gate…

"Cougar bitch!" someone yells.

"What the… Val!" Emma says. "Oh my God, Val. Are you ok?"

"I… I…" I mumble. I'm covered on something sticky. Something sticky that stinks and…

"Val, hey. Val!"

"I… I…"

"What the fuck are you doing, people?" I hear Emma say. "Stop taking photos! Show some respect!"

"Emma…" I whisper.

"It's ok, come" she says, putting an arm around my shoulders and making me walk.

"Girls! What happened?" Luis says, running towards us.

"Some teenagers threw eggs and god knows what else at Val when we were leaving."

"What?"

"Emma… Emma, I don't feel ok" I manage to say.

"Don't worry, Val. You are safe now" Luis says, helping me walk. "We'll go inside and help you get cleaned."

"I… I can't… I can't breathe."

"Val… Val, hey… Val!" Emma says, her voice being the last thing I hear before everything turns black.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Hello, beautiful."

"Pedri?" I say, slowly opening my eyes. "What… Where am I?"

"The hospital."

"What?"

"Woah, careful" he says when I try to get up from the bed. "You can't do that."

"Why? What… what happened?" I ask, my eyes still trying to adjust to how bright the light in the room is.

"You fainted at the school. Don't you remember?"

"I… I think…" The teenagers. Whatever they threw at me. Luis and Emma. "Fuck."

"I'll take that as you remembering" he chuckles.

"How did I end here, tho?"

"After you fainted you weren't waking up, Emma got scared and called an ambulance. They ran some tests and turns out that everything in you is low. Your iron levels, the vitamins, other things I have no idea what they are… They were lucky they caught you when they did, you know? This could have been serious."

"I… I…"

"You haven't been taken care of yourself, Val. And I…" Pedri says, running his hands through his hair. "I knew there was something going on. I could see it. But I'm stupid and…"

"Pedri, hey. Hey" I say, taking one of his hands on mine. "It isn't your fault."

"Isn't it?" he laughs. Though it is a sad laugh, one that makes my heart sink. "I knew you were struggling and I did nothing to stop it. To help you."

"Because I didn't let you. You, or Emma, or Silvia. You know how stubborn I am, it is all my fault."

"No, Val. This is…"

"Valeria!" my mother says, storming into the room. "Oh, Valeria, my poor child."

"Mum?"

"How are you, Val? When they told me they had taken you to the hospital I feared the worst."

"I… I'm fine" I say, trying to process this outburst of motherly love. "I just haven't been eating well and resting and…"

"And it is all his fault!" she says, looking at Pedri.

"Mum…"

"It is! He is the one to blame, the one who has pushed you to this, to almost dying!"

"Mum, that's not true."

"Have you seen yourself, Val? You are too thin, and the bags under your eyes reach the floor. And do you know why? Because of him. It is all because of him!" she says, pointing at Pedri. "Love should not have you looking like this!"

"She's right, Val" he says, his eyes focused on his hands.

"Of course I am!" my mum says, raising her voice more and more. "Get out of here!"

"What? No!" I complian.

"Get out of here, Pedro! I don't want to see you near my daughter ever again!"

"Mum, stop!"

"I said get out!"

"I… I'm sorry" he says, getting up from his chair and starting to walk away.

"No! Pedri, don't go!"

"Out!" my mum roars again.

"No! Pedri!" I say, trying to get up from the bed but only managing to get tangled with the sheets.

"He has to go, Val. This is all his fault."

"No! No, no, no. Pedri!" I yell, trying to free myself from my mum's grip.

"Is everything ok?" a nurse says, walking into the room. "Why is she screaming?"

"She needs to calm down. Can you give her something?"

"I don't want to calm down, mum! I want him! Pedri!" I yell again.

"I'm gonna call a doctor" the nurse says before leaving.

"I want him, mum" I cry. "I love him."

"I know you do, Val" she says while hugging me. "I know you do. But this is for the best, I promise you."

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"Val" Silvia says after knocking on my room's door. "He's here. Do I ask him to come in?"

"Yes, please" I reply, quickly opening my phone's camera to check myself. I've been resting in bed since I came back from the hospital, and I definitely look like shit.

"You look beautiful, Val."

"Bloody hell, Pedri" I say, my phone slipping from my hands and hitting the floor. When I look up he is leaning against the door's frame as he always does, that smirk I love so much in his face. "Do you do it on purpose?"

"Do what? Scare you?"

"No. That" I say, gesturing towards him. "Do you stand like that because you know I love it?"

"I didn't know you loved it" he shrugs.

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious" he says, walking towards me and picking up my phone.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome" he smiles, sitting on my bed. Though that smile isn't one I love. It is a sad one. "How are you?"

"Good. But I've missed you" I say, reaching for his hand.

"Val…" Pedri says, avoiding my touch. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"You know about what."

"No, I don't."

"Val…" he sighs. "We need to talk about what happened at the school. About you ending at the hospital, about what your mum said."

"My mum just said nonsense" I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Did she? Because I think she was right."

"What?" I laugh.

"Love should not make you feel like this. Anxious, scared, angry, sad… It should not make you feel so on edge that you end up at the hospital."

"I'm not feeling like that."

"C'mon, Val. Can't you see it? Being with me is hurting you. And I… I can't keep seeing you suffer like this because of me. I… we… we should…"

"We should what? Break up?"

"I'm sorry, Val. But it is for the best."

"The best?" I cry. "How is breaking up for the best? I love you!"

"And I love you too."

"Then why are you breaking up with me?"

"Because we are hurting each other, Val" he says, raising his voice. "Because I keep hurting you!"

"You aren't hurting me, Pedri. People are!"

"But they are hurting you because of me, because you are with me. It's the same!"

"It's… urgh!" I yell, throwing one of my pillows against the wall. The pillow with his photo on it to be precise.

"I'm sorry, Val, but your mum was right. It's best if I stay away."

"My mum knows nothing, Pedri. Nothing! She just said that because she's never liked you for whatever the reason!"

"It isn't for whatever the reason. She's never liked me because she was able to see that us being together was bound to end up with me hurting you."

"What?" I laugh and cry all at the same time.

"Goodbye, Val."

"What? No! Pedri, where are you going?" I say, getting up from my bed at the same time he does, having to hold to him to not fall.

"Look at you, Val. Look at you. This is all my fault" he says while hugging me.

"It's not your fault. It isn't" I insist, my body trembling between his arms. "It's them, not you."

"I'm sorry, Val."

"No" I cry when he takes a step away. "Pedri, please, no."

"I love you, Val. I will always love you" he whispers, kissing my forehead and leaving the room.

"Pedri. Pedri, please… Pedri!" I yell. But he doesn't come back. He isn't coming back.

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"Beth, Luis. What are you doing here?" I say when I open the door of my apartment.

"We've come to check on you" she smiles.

"And to bring you this" he says, giving me a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, that's so kind of you" I reply while trying really hard not to cry, the memories of all the bouquets Pedri got me over the years coming back. "Please come in."

"Thank you" they say.

"So, how are you?" Beth says, taking my hand on hers.

"Been better, not gonna lie" I chuckle. "But my doctor said that physically I'm almost recovered."

"Good, that's good. Because we have something that may help you with everything else" Beth says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"We all know break ups aren't easy. Especially when two people love each other as much as you and Pe… him love each other. But there is something that I know always helps, and that's keeping yourself busy with something."

"I don't think I'm ready to go back to the school just yet…"

"We were thinking about something like that but different" Luis says, showing me a piece of paper he had in his pocket. "Have you ever heard about this program? It's like an Erasmus but for teachers."

"An Erasmus?" I ask.

"Yeah. Instead of spending a year abroad studying, you do it teaching."

"We have a few friends who have tried it and they all have loved it. The other day we had dinner with some of them and they mentioned that there were some free spots that start in January and last just six months instead of the whole year" Beth explains.

"And we thought that a change of scenery would do you good" Luis continues. "New country, new kids and parents, new language, culture, people…"

"Though not really” Beth says. “Because one of the free spots is in Manchester, and you have a friend there, don't you?"

"I do, yes. Ferran."

"Are things ok between you two?" she asks.

"They are, yes. He's been checking up on me daily since I was in the hospital" I say.

"Well, now he could do it in person and maybe help you with everything else so you don't feel so alone."

"And who knows, he may even help you fix things with your boy and get back together."

"Luis!" Beth scolds him.

"What? You said it yourself!"

"I didn't, Val. I just… I…"

"It's ok" I smile. "And you are right. If there is someone who can help, that's Ferran."

"Then will you think about our offer?"

"I will, Beth. Thank you very much."

"Anything for you, Val" she says before hugging me. "Anything for you."

#pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri fanfic #pedri gonzalez fanfic #pedri imagine #pedri gonzalez imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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catboybiologist · 7 months

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Random actual vent that is probably more venty than my usual random little things, but occasionally I have to step back and think how asinine the salary system for PhD students can sound to people outside of academia. I really just want to like... lay it on the table, because it really is fucking dumb and I occasionally want validation that its fucking dumb.

Note that this is all coming from a traditional lab sciences, in the US perspective. Also, I'm really fucking ADHD and have a really, really shitty brain for bureacracy, so this is a rant and isn't really intended to be informative and might be wrong in places, its just me word vomiting.

Let's start with something straight off the bat- grad school isn't really school. It's work that creates value for the university, and you happen to take one or two courses on the side that the university has determined will make you better at that work (your mileage may vary). It's an entry level job, essentially. You create value for the university in one of two ways- you either contribute to research that gets them grant money, or you teach undergrads that pay tuition. We'll get back to how that affects you later, but first lets talk about something else: what the university claims they pay you vs what you actually get paid.

On paper, my income is approximately 3 times as much as my actual, take home income. There's two reasons for this. The first is that I am technically charged tuition by the central university, which is then immediately paid off by the source of my income. In official job titles, that's technically included in what you're getting paid, although most universities don't even bother advertising that. The other confounding factor is that you're literally always considered part time. The exact % time varies depending on your exact schedule, and of course your university, but its actually weirdly consistent even between universities. Technically, the work you do on your thesis isn't "work", and the university doesn't technically pay you to do it. Even though the work you do on your thesis literally generates revenue for the university in the form of grant overhead. But we'll get to that. If you're a researcher for a given appointment term, you're expected to also do research activities that are unconnected to your thesis- which is ridiculous, because there's no lab in existence where the work isn't all interconnected in some way.

Half time appointments are common, but lots of different percentages exist.

So, if you ever see a figure that says that a grad student position is paid at about $80k a year, that's whats going on. The highest take-home income I have EVER heard of in the US for PhD students is $54k, at Stanford neuroscience. I think its a bit higher now, but that at least gets you a ballpark. Most STEM PhD students on the high cost of living coasts are paid 30-40k ish, and in cheaper areas you can expect to take 5k off of that. These are for degrees that usually make six figures on the job market.

And then there's the other convoluted problem- the source of the funding. This is where the academia salary model really has a unique brand.

Basically, when you're a PhD student, you're not working one job for the full 5-7 years. You're constantly flipping between job titles within the university, and who exactly is paying you changes as a result.

The most basic distinction is researcher vs teaching assistant. TA is easy- you work "part time" (but oh my god those workloads are not part time sometimes [although the class I'm TAing now is very chill so its w/e][fuck you molecular genetics at my master's uni tho]), and the department you're teaching for pays for your tuition and your salary as a result.

Researcher is a bit weirder. Basically, each lab is conducted as its own independent financial unit, managed by a Principle Investigator (PI, or to any grad student, the professor/boss/research advisor/liege/monarch/authority of the lab). The PI is constantly writing lab wide grants to supply the core funding of the lab, including the salary of the grad students. Grants can be pretty general, but there are also very specific ones that check in how the money is being spent. These include training grants/fellowships/tbh the name is arbitrary for a lot of these. Those are grants that are written to supply the salary of a specific grad student.

Couple things to note- the university charges the PI in a lot of ways on this. Notably:

They charge tuition on every grad student, as mentioned previously, which under a researcher appointment is paid from the PI to the university.

They charge overhead on grants- basically, they take money out of every grant the PI gets.

If the previous two sources aren't enough, oftentimes universities will pay rent on the amount of building space a lab takes up (although this is very inconsistent between universities)

Researcher appointments are considered favorable to teaching appointments, because they mean you can spend more of your time on your thesis. But, its dependent on whether your PI has the funding to pay you all that, which is a big if. So, every quarter or semester or year or however much your university decides to renegotiate it, you essentially switch jobs, in a way. Obviously its a lot more simple and streamlined than actually switching jobs, but your title, responsibility, source of income, and sometimes your actual pay changes constantly.

And to anyone who has been through a PhD, you're nodding along like this is all the basic stuff, because all this is so NORMAL. Like this is all the normal system, and this is the bare basics of it as well. And it's weird that it's normal, right? Like, most of my career has been tied to academia, so I don't have a fantastic benchmark for this, but this isn't how it works outside of academia like... at all.

Over the course of late last year and bleeding into this year, multiple graduate student unions have had strikes or negotiations regarding pay scale, but its been a very difficult situation for the average grad student to untangle because of how weird the source of pay is. Because technically, even though you functionally work a single, salaried job with slightly changing obligations, what's happening behind the scenes is that you're essentially hopping between jobs every couple of months. In an ideal system, those jobs always have the same pay, but that's increasingly becoming not the case. Sometimes that means getting paid more overall, sometimes slightly less. Union negotiations have made this pay slightly higher overall, but its still a mess of a system.

And obviously, there's paperwork associated with so many of these steps.

So in my last post, when I said "getting a grant", that was what I was referring to- applying for training grants that will guarantee that I don't have to teach extra or get extra money from my PI for the time I'm here. I'd love to get more teaching experience, but ofc I want to do it when I want to, not when I have to. I'm applying for multiple training grants over the next couple of months that will hopefully fund my salary specifically, and hopefully I'll get at least one of them. And tbh, I don't even care that much about teaching, I more want them because it'll dramatically simplify all this for me.

I love what I do to death, but untangling this shit is what gives me imposter syndrome more than anything. I think my arrogant streak shows when I can genuinely say that I've never felt imposter syndrome based on my scientific knowledge. I have felt it over two things- my motivation/productivity (which is a different rant entirely), and the fact that I am really, really bad at untangling the level of bureaucracy required to just... exist here. Just give me my fucking paycheck and let me do my science, and tell me when you want me to teach.

#vent post #like an actual one lol

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charmixpower · 1 year

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Season 5 wrap up. Season 5 and 4 comparison

As you all probably know by now I like s5 more than s4, for pretty obvious reasons if you've read my s4 thoughts

Things season 5 did better than season 4:

Sirenix and Harmonix make more logical sense than Believix. Forms from outside sources have not been done before and having be given by a higher power makes more sense than suddenly forms can be influenced by how much people on a particular planet believe in magic. It makes even more sense once you remember that Earth is in the Magical fucking Dimension and that Earth not having magic is a fluke

No seriously who the fuck discovered Believix in the magical dimension and HOW?

Lack of love and pet and other stupid jobs

The romance drama was less stupid. Like yes it's VERY stupid and I hate it, but Stella being mad because she thought Brandon was insulting her fashion design makes marginally more sense than what ever the fuck was going on with Mitzi. It's like that for all of them except Skloom, like it's marginally less stupid and brain numbing

Musa is snarky again!!!! God bless!!!! And Riven is acting like a natural continuation of his s2 self, extreme stupidity and inability to read social ques and all!! My babies are back!

Completely irrelevant plot central characters did not happen. At least fucking Krystal tried to heal Sky, that more that I can say about Andy's bitch ass

Does Roy count? I can remember like three scenes he was in, he is a minor character

Tritannus has an actual personality and with some minor tweaks could be genuinely compelling, I cannot say the same for the Wizards of no personality

No secondary antagonists that are objectively better than the main ones and make me want to tear my hair out because I want to see more of them, but it does forget that Diana exists during the lilo so there's that

The civilian outfits were better. There still bad but there not s4's civilian outfits sooo

The Selkies are plot relevant unlike some pets I can't be bothered to remember

The tone of the season was FAR more consistent. Like s4 fucking was so childish than nose dived into Nabu's death, but everything in s5 didn't feel like tonal whiplash

Less transformations. Two is still annoying but it's BETTER THAN FUCKING THREE

At least they had to fucking earn the extra transformations and there's no hand out faries

All the girls got something to do in s5, they all at least got one plotline or big moment. Name either of those things for s4 Flora. You can't because they don't exist

Is not still on fucking earth. Yes very earth centered but we get to see a bunch of fun new locations

The girls and specialists do not act like units with hiveminds

Season 5 actually expanded on how magic on earth would look and that's neat

Tritannus's powers are stupid but at least there explained

The relationship between Tritannus and Icy is more believable than anything between the Wizards of the Black circle, I'm so sorry

Actually let's the next form come without shitting on the previous one

Things season 4 did better than season 5:

NO YOU SONS OF BITCHES LET THEM BE ADULTS!!!!

At least s4 had the decency to say Nabu was just sleeping

No fairy on fairy violence :'((, those girlies in the rainbow mantel ep didn't even get to transform

The earth faries were majorly compelling and have a really interesting motivation, none of the s5 villains are like that

Icy has less stage presence than the FUCKING WIZARDS OF THE BLACK CIRCLE THIS IS FUCKING CRIME

Oh dear god why is Diaspro here why is the continuity in FLAMES

Convergence can do anything, part 2, but worst this time

Letting magical women be queens, Nereus < Tressa

The pendant thing is objectively stupider Sky's Andy drama in s4, it's less stupid than Rivusa nonsense in s4 tho

Diaspro was fucking ridiculous tho

I fully believe that s4 would give mutant main characters different character models

Why does s5 have so many filler episodes. The lilo AND a magic Christmas are you kidding me??

Flora's "no don't hurt it!" Thing has gotten so much worse

They literally made Stella a child I'm so furious

There are more completely meaningless side plots

Things they both fucked up on:

THEY MENTION THE ROXY BLOOM PARALLEL FUCKING AGAIN AND STILL DO JACK SHIT WITH IT

More mind control??? Really????? Really???? Are we being serious????

Extremely childish compared to previous seasons

Soft boy Helia

#winx club #winx season 4 #winx season 5 #rus chatters

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llycaons · 5 months

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came to the conclusion as I have several times before that I am simply not cut out for my job. I am bad at it, slow and a poor communicator and passive and easily overwhelmed. they said it would take about a year (from hiring? or from being on my own? either way) but whatever makes people slip into the flow and anticipate needs and Know The Supplies, maybe I would have gotten it had I gotten the normal training. maybe I wouldn't have. its easy to say 'oh I'm struggling because I'm in a unique situation' and maybe that's true, but I had trouble long before we got the Unique Training part, and then since the training was so different I had trouble with that, to the exasperation of my trainers and co-workers. and it really didn't feel good every day to know you're not living up the expectations and standards of the people around you, to know without a doubt they're all smarter and more adaptable and quicker-thinking than you.

I'm doing okay now since I'm one of the very few people on my unit and they desperately need me, and leadership is covering for my inadequacies by sending me to do easy stuff when I need to get floated, but like...there are team members who are extremely hostile to me and its for good reason! and it makes it worse to know THEY'RE not the ones in the wrong. maybe they could be nicer, but if I truly had confidence in myself, it wouldn't bother me so much.

but I don't know what to do. there is no other job I can do with these qualifications and skills, and no way to leave this city until late next year. and I need this income. I'm going to limp along until I can safely extract myself, but until then, we'll all have to bear it. and it's a terrible thing, to know you're a burden on your team and that you're only here because everyone else has quit. if I thought I would ever actually put someone in danger, I'd of course leave immediately. but I'm doing relatively straightforward cases with very qualified people all around me, and I know the basics to keep people safe at least

I find myself thinking about my strongest critic, who quit a few months ago, and how much my failure to adapt may have led to that decision. maybe it's self-centered; there were many issues far before I came along. and they haven't spoken to even their closest friend here in months, so I think they probably resent this place a lot and want to leave it all behind, and I don't blame them

things have gotten so much better recently because of those staff members quitting and my manager waking up to realize she has to actually support us, and I don't dread going to work anymore, even to float. tho we haven't been canceled in ages 😔 I don't know, I think the true issue is that I just need more predictability and stability in the things I do on a day to day basis. I learn slowly, and I have trouble remembering things. ideally I would find a job where we do a limited type of low-acuity cases every day but still....pays as well? I don't know, I don't know. give this another year then I'm sure everyone will be happy to see my back.

it's difficult to see yourself as incompetent, disliked, and unwanted in your job, and not have that bleed over into your personal feelings about yourself. it's really hard. I think of my failures and the anger, contempt, and aggression that came to me as a result, and it really makes me nervous. we're doing cases in another part of the hospital soon, with different people. it was such a mess last time! why was I so overwhelmed?

it's frustrating. I know I can do some of these cases - even difficult ones like livers and kidneys- and do them perfectly competently. I'm fine in any belly case. I even enjoyed neuro. I just freeze up when I don't have confidence. I don't know what to do all the time! and I need to be in a situation where I do. I don't know how much work I can even do on my end to Not Be Like This. studying didn't seem to help, and I can't study from the internet anyway since every place does things differently.

I've always thought I'd either leave here and then go back home, or stay exactly in place, but I could still stay a year and then just get another job in the same place.

I've always wanted to get higher certification, but knowing the people around me are way more competent without having that, it feels like a joke. a slap in the face. I dont have anything neat to wrap this up with it's just. I've always been so good at school and so proud of that even when I don't have much else to lean on. so this feels really bad. I should contact my EAP counselor today

#cor.txt

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areeeee-k · 6 months

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Hi! Sorry for bothering you, but I read your answer about why you are shipping Soratori a few days ago and couldn't stop thinking about it. I have been thinking about them for a very long time and I will say that when I found out about you, you gave me the courage to not be afraid and start shipping them too.

I'm a person who's influenced by others easily so sometimes I might just be scared of what others will think about me when it comes to ships and other things...

I think that we both have very similar opinions on Soratori. I wish they would interact more... But you're right about them. They're the only juniors in their units, they're sometimes left out and they both know what is loneliness very well. You already said it, but yeah, both are just seen by their seniors as cute and innocent boys. I think their seniors don't mean to harm them by being overprotective and keeping them in the dark and all, but that's where Soratori could just spend time together and talk with each other, having each other. They make so much sense! Of course, as a multi-shipper, I ship them with others as well, but I think people should try to ship Soratori more, I will admit you're the first one I saw shipping them... And I think it's a bit sad... I think they would make such a cute pair!!!

And... I already feel bad for bothering with all this, but I wanted to ask you about the fine climax... Eh, I still haven't read it because I couldn't find the full translation of it. A few people told me it's not translated yet, but still, I wanted to ask you anyway... Sorry for bothering you with this!

Thank you for the ask, it makes me real happy to know that there are many others who love soratori as well. Generally, I feel like many people never consider them ‘cause they have barely any stories together, but they have such amazing potential if you give them a chance. For dreaming ocean tho, while I do know that someone was translating it, I don’t think anyone has completed it. Sorry that I couldn’t help if that was your question. If you are asking me about what I thought about the story tho, I think the story did a fantastic job commenting on Tori’s strengths and character. The story heavily focused on masks as tori is someone who pretends to be naïve and spoiled even tho I think he genuinely works very hard. I think it’s this that allows him to understand other masked characters better and, with the aid of his honest and earnest personality, allows him to unmask and grow closer to people like wataru and shinobu. It unfortunately had no soratori but can be great food for thought if you wonder if Sora is masking too.

It makes me so happy reading how much you like them though because I search up soratori on twitter everyday to see if anyone is cooking or even thinking about them at all. Thanks again for the ask!

#ask

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razzmothazz · 3 months

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random yuno stuff to make up for the fact ive only been rambling abt makoto so far

yuno is a little MENACE /aff they love pulling little pranks, annoying people and inconveniencing them in little ways. she obviously never takes it far and because she can read people well, they know when someone is too annoyed/upset and makes sure to apologize and make it up to them when she gets carried away. she loves playful banter and their love laguage is definitely friendly bullying

doesnt have the best relationship with her dad and her mom is uhm . out of the picture you could say [this is a pun only i and perhaps pinna get but i will elaborate on it. someday] so they tend to sneak out a lot to stay with UNIT MEMBER THAT SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED UNTILL MY SISTER DECIDES TO FINALLY FLESH THEM OUT AND TELL ME ABOUT THEM. anyway yeah yuno doesnt like staying home unless its them locked up comfy in their room doing their own thing, so they go out a lot and spend most of their time out and about doing whatever they feel like doing

despite their cheery and energetic personality, their mindset is actually pretty nihilistic, believing nothing really matter and life has no set meaning. she believes people exist just to exist, same as everything else. youre born, you live, you die. however she doesnt see it as a bad thing, it motivates her to make life as fun as possible while it lasts and to not dwell on anything too long since its inconsequential in the long run, my girl just wants to have fun with it !!

very creative person !!! she cant stick to just one art medium for too long and instead does all kinds of stuff, their favourite form is watercolor painting tho! she thinks the soft look of the paints is very pretty, but besides that she also does sculptures, writing, other types of paintings, digital art, sewing, literally you name any form of artistic craft and they probably tried it at least once, its their main form of self expression since they dont talk about their feelings like. at all

related to the feelings thing, theyre VERY expressive, which is one reason why they never feel the need to talk about their feelings, its cause everyone can simply tell what they feel. she learned that if people cant read you they will ask too many questions and get overly concerned, so she started putting her feelings on full display, yet still doesnt like elaborating on them. shes the kind of person you can know for years and suddenly you realize that after all this time spent together, you dont know much about them at all. she doesnt feel the need to open up, believing some things arent important for others to know [mostly because of her life "philosophy" or whatev u wann call it]

their fav colours are yellow and pink!!! pretty obvious since they LOVE wearing them, most of their closet is actually made up of clothing in those exact colours :3 if you ask her to pick between those 2 colours she will go on a rant about how its impossible to choose and will make the speech overly emotional and theatrical for no reason other than to mess with you

speaking of theatrical shes a HUGE wxs fan !!! she randomly saw their show one day when hanging out at the phoenix wonderland and LOVED IT!!! again, she loves every form of art so this was to be expected. emu especially caught their eye with her silly childlike wonder vibes, not to mention the pink hair was an immediate attention grab for yuno lmao. when they learn more about the troupe they grew to not only admire and respect them as performers but also on a more personal level, especially tsukasa and his leadership and sheer stage presence. i feel like tsukasa would definitely end up treating yuno like another one of his siblings tbh dkdghdjdhbd they have a pretty silly dynamic in my head

basically she thrives in any social setting, not everyone enjoys their company but shes not bothered by that at all and continues to do her own thing and being their silly energetic self, its no fun otherwise for them

she enjoys learning and wants to learn so many random things.. they also often just study how other people act and have a very strong interest in psychology and social stuff, you can often catch her staring and looking around at others with an oddly determined and focused look. despite her love of learning they do NOT enjoy school, mostly using it as a social space and an excuse to not be home. their grades are fine, but she finds most classes boring and only wants to learn stuff that interests her.

one of her hobbies includes fixing random stuff no matter how difficult with no experience because shes convinced she can just "figure it out" and it always works. they cant explain how they did it exactly but she will fix pretty much anything up somehow. everyone finds it a little scary because you can find her messing with electrical objects to fix them with zero clue on what to actually do to fix them. but they will always be fixed.

their only issue that they cant seem to brush off and follows them around no matter what is their fear of abandonment, she feels the constant need to be around people and have as many close friends as possible, they cant stand being alone. its no fun living when you have no one. they want to do their thing and have fun, but sometimes the self doubt creeps in and she starts wishing she was more normal. its a constant struggle for them, but they still tend to try and brush it off with some excuse like "i can always find someone else", and immediately feel weird about thinking that because who would want to replace their friends like that? this runs rlly deep btw and i wanna expand on this more when i figure out her backstory properly

so yeah, they stay silly but at what cost... /j

basically yuno is like. the embodiment of "i was born to love my friends and have a silly fun time"

i had way more thoughts but this is all i remember rn soooo BYE

#pjsk oc

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skatingpollyfan · 1 month

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tw sui talk

I had to say I was fine when I was crying my eyes out, when I could barely breath with all the sobbing, I had to smile and be nice, be sorry even tho I did nothing. Throughout my life I learned to be sorry for things that were not my fault, to shut up because they taught me my voice doesn't matter, what I say and what I think is irrelevant.

It doesn't matter how bad I feel, it's no use talking about it because at the end of the day it's me who is being a burden to others, who is overwhelmengly depressed for other, I am the one who deserves to be lonely even tho I give everything I have in order for people to love me. I know I'm flawed, I am aware of my mistakes, of how self centered I am, of how much I unnneceserally talk, of how I obsess over things, of every little shit about me that bothers people but I'm tired of it, I'm tired of having to also be sorry for things that are out of my control, I am tired of being sorry about how OTHERS feel about me.

I am fucking tired of hurting myself and having to apologize. Nobody ever said sorry to me about anything, never. She didn't apologize for playing with my feelings, you didn't apologize for abandoning me over a stupid crush I had on someone else, they didn't apologize for always making me feel guilty about being left out when I needed the most someone to be there for me, y'all didn't apologize for ghosting me out of nowhere for wanting to unite the friend group.

The only way I will finally leave this world feeling at peace will be if I take my own life, that way it will be made clear how much y'all hurt me, how much I cared, how much YOU don't care.

I'm tired of fucking apologising and begging for people to stay for nothin'. The only way you will all come back to me is when I am gone.

I WILL SHOW YOU ALL HOW THINGS ARE, HOW I FEEL, WHY IT HAPPENED. NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO LEAVE ME ANYMORE, I WILL LEAVE Y'ALL FOR ONCE.

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genderqueer-miharu · 7 months

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So since i finished caligula 2 i wanted to give my thoughts. Overall i think i really liked it more than the first game. I've already mentioned this but i really think the game improves on so many things that bothered me about the first one. The presentation and introduction to the main story feels more natural and engaging in my opinion, which was one of the things i complained about the first game, having a very slow start, but here they really picked it up i was hooked since the first dungeon. I also think the overall world building is better, since they explain more things about how the whole virtual world worked and even explain some stuff from the first game that didn't exactly made sense. I also wasn't expecting the story to have so many connections to the first one, i thought it was gonna be more of a stand alone title but from the first five minutes they start referencing the events of the first one and a lot of the plot and even some characters build up from what the first game was. I wouldn't say it's a necessity for you to play the first game to play this one, i think it can still be enjoyed, however it's a much more enjoyable experience when you understand all the ways in which the second game follows up on the things that happened in the first, also one of the party members was a character in the first game and is pretty significant here so.

And speaking of characters, my god they were all such a pleasant surprise as well. I'll be honest it did take me a while to fully warm up to the characters in the first game (which i think was definetely intentional), but i did ended up liking most of them. But here i immediately loved most of them, the only ones that took me a while to warm up to were ryuto and kobato but i also did end up liking them. I just really liked how much more united the whole group feels, it helps that this time you actually get to see the Go Home Club being formed, instead of joining a pre existing one, you really get to see the relationships between these characters being formed and you get to see what dynamics they have, something that you didn't really get to see much of in the first one. Gin and Sasara are of course my overall faves but everyone else is awesome too, i love Kiriko i love Niko i LOVE Marie and what they did with her here because [SPOILERS], I love Ryuto, even Kobato is great, at least as far as flirty characters go he was way less annoying than i thought, he also dropped a bunch of banger dialogue that he really had no need to. Shota is my least favorite overall, tho he is pretty funny and has great moments (he gets minus points from me due to being a cop irl).

Now for the musicians, this cast was a really interesting because they really didn't interact or really know anything about each other or their intentions, not even Regret the virtuadoll they're supposed to be serving, which was a very interesting contrast to the Ostinato Musicians from the first game who while not necessarily liking each other, still interacted and knew more about each other, many of them even appeared during their character episodes and all of them were also very fond of µ. But i did like this contrast and i liked how most of them still had a strobg pressence in the story even after their defeat. I will say i still think they would've benefitted so much from having their own scenarios as well, i get why they didn't do it you know there's not a musician route this time like in Overdose, but it definetely would've been nice to have a way to learn more about them even after their defeat. I checked the wiki and it seems that all their backstories and personal details are in their profiles?? I really wish there could've been a way to learn these things because man it really would've made their final appeerances hit much harder and it also would've prepared me for some if the things that happened at the end like MU-kun and the whole thing with Bluffman and Regret which is SO wierd and SO much more complicated than what was explained in-gameand i still don't really know how to feel about it because it was a LOT. I guess they really are just human.

Anyways, yeah i really ended up loving it, i've mentioned this before but i think Yamanaka's writing really shines better in this one, and i think it also showcases how much he improved as a writer compared the 6 years of difference between this one and the first one. It's definetely not perfect, there are still some moments in the story that could've been handled better imo. But again, the cast was great, the scenarios were great the story was great. I really loved it

#whooo man. this got way too long. haha #i definetely still have more to say but this is all i could come up with without it getting even longer

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myrddin-wylt · 1 year

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Always that north italian here, hi! (sorry if I bother you but I find this whole thing interesting. I swear I'll stop if you say stop).

Nooow I understand the confusion. I really have the impression Hima talked to italians and realized most people divide italy in north and south, so he just created two characters that represented that. I understand now that making Romano represent Rome makes it weird to make North Italy represent the whole nation. It's just oversimplification, really. Maybe he considered the fact the unification of Italy started in the north? Or maybe he considered the fact Turin (which is the North) was the first capital of Italy? Thus making North Italy... well, Italy, at least in the first part of this nation's history? I dunno. As I said, everything is so oversimplified in Hetalia. I just don't like when non italians oversimplify it too. To be honest, I don't like North Italy to be called Italy either, and I always consider both when speaking about the whole nation. As I said, this country is so complicated. What is Italy in the end if not a mix of traditions, dialects, typical dishes that change within miles, old dukedoms and kingdoms.

On the other... you are right lol Southern Italians do seem more open and warmer than the northern italians, which does make their Hetalia characterizations pretty weird even to my eyes. I'm still convinced Hima went to Neaples, heard everyone speaking though shouting and thought "oh my god, everybody is so angry here" which... they weren't really. But here's how South Italy Romano was born to be. :'D I have no idea what he had in mind with Veneziano.... but yeah.

I swear, tho, we can be open and warm too but it will take a while more to loosen up to strangers, so I'm sorry if they made you feel unwanted up here! It wasn't done on purpose, I'm sure. I just feel the need to apologize now.

I keep trying to make them the city-states? like Veneziano as the Republic of Venice is easy, and I usually try to make Romano the Duchy of Naples, and I use their Nyotalia and 2p selves for the Republics of Florence, Genoa, etc etc. because, yeah, the history of Italy is not near as unified as a lot of people think. I figure if I can just decide Romano's "home" or "main" city that I can then figure out any roles he may have taken in addition to that (hence why I keep getting so stuck on whether he's Rome, Naples, or Palermo.)

Maybe Himaruya lives in an alternate timeline where Venice escaped Napoleon's wrath and united Italy under the banner of The Most Serene Italian Republic of Venice. and you know, I'd live in that timeline, if only out of extreme curiosity.

I will say though, in general my experience was that Italians were more likely to be friendly outside of the big tourist cities, and that's how it is most places in the world I think. (Except for Munich for some reason? Bizarrely friendly, the lot of them. Shoutout to the people of Munich.) like the people of Rome weren't unfriendly per se, but they were more aloof than the people in Marino or Albano Laziale.

in any case, I found in general that Italians were at least polite as long as I tried to make an attempt to speak Italian (I do appreciate that most of them were still very patient when I had to resort to Mexican Spanish), and they were friendly whenever I stopped long enough to chat and especially if I asked questions about the locale. and the museum tour guides were outright thrilled if I could name any of the artists other than da Vinci and Michelangelo. and holy shit every Italian I encountered was 5x nicer than the Parisians.

since you're a north Italian, can I share an opinion that will probably be controversial? Florence had the best food hands down, no contest. I generally tried to stay away from tourist traps and Florence still had the best food. Lucca had great food too though. Rome either had fantastic food or food that tasted like cardboard but no in-between. no one warned me about Perugia's bread and I consider it an absolute tragedy, but their chocolate was great!

#ask #anon #I'm sorry anon you caught me in a nostalgic mood #I miss Italy but man I really really really miss Perugia and Assisi and Orvieto the most tbh

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s-aprua · 7 months

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idk how to feel about girl enstars ocs when you have engirls already

??? like girl enstars ocs in general or my group??? gonna assume this is bc they're specifically a group, and I wouldn't have been asked this if I made a girl producer, self insert, side character, etc bc I can't imagine why you'd ask that when they frame anzu as a self insert and women exist in enstars too. tldr at the end.

I know like 0 ensemble girls lore (the only think I know abt them is one of them is leo's sister I think? so same universe?) I guess you could call them ensemble girls ocs if you really want to since they're the same universe?? I don't think I should call them ocs for a fandom I know nothing about, though. maybe this is on me, but I'm making ocs for fun and for fandoms I like. I happen to like enstars and I made a group for them that's all girls, therefore enstars oc. all the oc lore at the bottom of their "what I share abt my ocs iceberg" are !! era things (agency competition, gatekeeper, etc) idk if that fits engirls' plot at all.

I made my ensemble stars ocs girls mostly bc I draw girls more often and it felt weird having almost all guy idols and not even a mention of female idol groups in the agencies, despite the game intro stating girls are also becoming idols and the agencies have not only idols but songwriters and other performers under them; it'd be weird if it was specifically always guys, so I wanted to add my own group. I get happy elements had to make enstars' cast 99% guys because they are targeting a demographic, but I am not affected by that so I can make whatever characters I want. one of my girls was meant to be a self insert before I worked on her story and she eventually became a separate character.

"why not just make a love live group if you want a girl idol group" I have! only my friends have seen them tho and also there's 9 of them and enstars tends to have smaller groups and I don't have the heart to break them up. they're also school idols who aren't overly serious about becoming an actual idols, they're just doing love live for fun (literally solely a club).

just to cover my bases, I hope you're not saying enstars ocs have to be guys and girl ocs have to be engirls ocs. it seems like a weird argument to make. would I have gotten this ask if it was only half girls like vivid bad squad? are girls not allowed in enstars? what about if they were all non-binary? do my ocs' gender have any effect on what fandom they're allowed to be for?

if you still don't like them, that's fine! I don't know if I was meant to change your mind about them, but they're not canon and you can ignore them or just think of them as independent idol ocs (frankly they might as well since they're under a different agency too). I do have a guy group in the making as well although they're slightly more band adjacent so idk if they're considered "typical enstars idol unit" either (under the same "different agency". maybe I should just detach them from enstars, but I already gave them rhythlink drama and I don't want to recreate enstars plot)

tldr: I like enstars so I made some stuff up, including a new agency and new idols, the ones I've finished and shared being an all-female idol group. they have no relationship to ensemble girls so I don't label them as engirls ocs. you are free to ignore them if they bother you

still tldr: they're my ocs and I made them for me. idk if I can change your opinion, but if you still don't like them you can ignore them

#asks #srry this got super long #it was either this or the last tldr #btw srry if there's any weird mistakes im typing on mobile with gloves #i dont even go to ensemble girls why/how would i make an engirls oc 💀

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david-box · 1 year

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Liveblog (but a day late ish) of Succession season 4 ep. 1

3:38 love how Shiv didn't kiss Kendall also is very clearly lying lol. Rome is so focuking rude it's hilarious. Wtf is their new venture are they trying to make a new media outlet??? And shiv is talking to Tom

They're already on to her lmao. Glad she's semi honest. Ajjajahw. "he's not a real junkie" ahhaha. Kendall is saying "don't bail on me I don't want to put effort into this and not have you reciprocating". Shiv really is into it.

Ohhh my god Logan is visually miserable. Hows it feel old man you motherfucker. He is not dating that woman still Jesus Christ. I mean good for her probably, damn, but what the fuck. What happened to the Italian princess Greg?? He's so clean shaven... Also "friend assistant and advisor" lol. Girl when. Her face is funny as hell also I love these actors. Is it "random fuck". Greg's face lol.

Shiv don't sound bored. Kendall is into it. Tom looking out for Shiv?? You alwars awkward awkward man. Paying with one hand. You're not being fair Shiv rn but I don't blame you also low blow with the st. Paul remark. Best response Tom. She's really freaking out damn. THEYRE STILL HERE AKHAHAHHA. Rome the only chill one here hahahhaa. The investor advisors walked off in separate directions. Aaannnnd Greg's gf snitched lol. They're paranoid. They have every reason to be. Oh those are their investors.

Connor is dressed like a president and the gf is insiding. Connor how broke are you, you're always worried about money. Who was Logan's first wife? Why is the Left going after them? Are they buying Pierce? Also the audacity to call them rats... And the side piece is literally just standing there. Logan doesn't know what Tom looks like when he lies. His awkwardness helps though imagine asking your FIL for marriage AND business advice. Logan looks so annoyed Toms ass sucking but I honestly think it helps and as much as Logan is annoyed that's exactly where he wants him to be. Tom killing Logan 2023 hashtag or whatever. Who hosts a party and waits for food??? They fucking rich people.

Two parties vying for Pierce is going to make the Gojo buyout easier because the Waystair side won't bother squeezing Connor out. Unless they just try harder and he has to pay more to stay lol. Roman the most mature one here. Kendall is being stupid. Who was walking in the background also they're just sitting there huh those Saudis or whoever lolll. They do kinda have a point tho.

Tom doesn't even wait to cut Greg down a 6 inch. And she's fucking recording??? Greg is too excited for their marriage thing. Greg is delusional. I wouldn't switch gears personally but I'd be anxious telling the other guys to keep waiting if they're even still there.

Logan has the world and isn't even happy. Right in front of her "hoop de hoop". Nan's family is a matriarchal version of Logan and Shiv is correct he has no patience but Nan's gonna be busy ain't he. Nan is funny also. I love the way Shiv dresses casually ahahha good lines. Kendall might honestly be better to go but Nan's picky and pickier than what's good. Oh fuck off Kendall its about Dad. And Rome is scared of conflict and I don't blame him also it would be funny if they can do it.

Why is he going you're my pal. You're mybest pal. What the fuck does this mean. This poor man. People are exonomic units??? Bro. Is he really thinking about marriage??? Bro. Gee I wonder why

People turn against you everywhere you go. He's getting old and finally feeling it. Only person he trusts isn't even family and business only.

Ahhahahhahhaha I didn't think Roman would repeattt thatttt ahahha. She looks so hurt :-(. That means he didn't ask. You can pop it back in your mouth now lolll. Who they calling. Oh Logan? Pierce is making calls huh I bet.

Connor is so excited for the wedding and it's gonna be bad if he pushes for more money or if he pushes for less I bet. I love this man. Get a rapper and jetpacks. Dude. Bumfuts. Oh it's about the election cycle. Poor Willa. She's trying. She'll do a lot for him huh.

Greg has the worst timing and Tom low-key thinks it's funny. Greg. No. She's crunchy peanut butter. Dude. The guest bedroo?? Dude. And he's really worried ahahaha. I think he's more amused Greg is scared and is mayyybbee fucking fucking with him. He's making him tell him this is so gross hahahaha.

Is this fucking Marthas vineyard? Italian themed Waystair rocyo? Do they realize Logan can just wait on the sale so they won't be able to buy her out? The sex implications with the headache is great. I think she's going to use it as leverage. Oh butter my beanpole ahahha. Tom saving his ass and isn't even needing to lie, everyone DOES know. He's got some fucked up machinations. Greg is worse off saying something than not. He hasn't eaten. He gave him candy. And he's just holding it. Ahahhaha. Shhshhahha the thumbs up. Lmao. Poor Greg. Poor poor Greg. Think of something better. I would not be honest. He really doesn't think about things critically, like, ever.

Who's the garbder? They're showing more servants today.

Logan smiled? What the fuck?? Tom is so right but he also clearly thinks its both funny and disgusting. Greg don't push it. Greg. Dude. Ahahah. God be willing. Nan thinks smiles and warm energy is important and is complaining about spending money. Interesting. Roy might be better for that than the kids. She's ruthless. Shiv is better for this than anyone else. Oh, but it's not wrapped up. It's fine :-)) come drink with me :-)). Don't curse. Kendall. Dude. She wants to drink? Take the offer to drink... Kendall it is not robust. What happened to Maine? I'm getting a divorce ahahhahaa okay damn. Kendall if you're gonna call her on the numbers don't be shitty. That was clever Roman.

Nobody tells jokes any idea so they. I'm saying Carl, it's a big dry in here. Do you have any jokes? Frank, start, be funny, abhahahahahahahahahahaa roast me dhshshhshshshs skanshshshs absghshshshhsjsjsjsjsjsjsh he can't even do it. That's not funny. Greg is too honest. Ahahhahaa "where are your kids?" AhahhahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhaahhHahaha. Not a good retort there Logan sorry. So it is the money. Logan's mood is much better when he has something to do. He's going to win. But that's cus I got spoiled.

Roman is correct. 8 is bad. Oh ton don't pussy foot. "This is dusgusting :-)" lol. call your wife. Nan likes the bidding and they can't do 8.5. Tom hiding his face. They do not have 9.5. they go to 10 they lose. 10 is a lot. They don't have 10. And he's being loud. He's outvoted. Ouch. Shiv is so happy. She's gonna cry. Tom said 12 she fucked herself.

Congratulations on saying the biggest number. Romans not sure and they left. That's when the Gojo falls through innit? Lol. Or the lack of a divorce. They still living in the same house? Cute dog. Swear it's different from last year, lol. They don't even look at the accounts anymore. Oh, they still here. Tom still kinda trying to connect, he really does love her. Who wouldn't? Where's the disgusting brothers thing and Shiv is really trying to hurt him and she's hurt from it. And he's right to fire right tf back. Is Mondale even let out at night? Shiv is really, really upset. She doesn't want to move on but now she has an excuse to force herself so this is when the deal gets fucked and now she's divorced for no reason. Shiv doesn't wanna talk because she arguably did worse. No responsibility. Tom won't fight her and a small part of her wishes he did. Tom what the fuck ahahhahaa. Dude. What the fuck. He's genuine . He isn't but he is. I think Shiv would be happy just having him be there. They're so sweet together. My little cats. They do love eachother :-(. If only they could make it work.

Is Logan watching court dv? Or his own news? He's mad the reporters ugly. Wild. They actually won. Oh, new number.

#succession #long post #me #text #succession season 4 ep. 1

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idonghyuck · 3 years

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ok so I was really curious about what you @dongsichenged said about remembering listening to cassette tapes when you were a kid but your friends in the US not having the same experience and I researched a bit and apparently CD's did replace cassettes faster in the US than in other countries

approximately in 1992 the CD sales were higher than the cassette sales in the US and around 2000 - 2002 (that is the time I used to estimate when we were kids) they were above 800M while cassette tape sales were under 100M so it was more likely to own a CD than a cassette at that time.

I tried to find data about China but I couldn't really find anything like this ;; just a billboard article from 1992

where it says that the sales of cassettes were still high at that time (1989) and there wasn't much interest in the CD. Of course many things could have changed in all those years but I guess the US market adapted to the CD format faster.

#i read way too many articles for such a silly thing but #i learnt a lot of stuff too #apparently cd sales peaked in 2002 worldwide but the source doesn't clarify if it's about the US or the world so...#and it seems that lay's honey album is no. 1 in digital sales in china and jay chou's common jasmin orange #is no.1 in physical sales which is something i didn't expect to learn today but ok #i tried to search in baidu to try my luck but i forgot something important: i don't speak chinese #there's just so much translate can do. F #anyway this wasn't even something important but i couldn't help it #sorry if it freaks you out???#I'm not from the US btw I'm from mexico but because of our proximity #things like this are almost the same #maybe 2 years later or something idk #music #🌙moon #oh and cassettes are becoming a Thing again #that $ is bothering me tho. because the other one says units #... anyway #cd's did outsell cassettes in the us by 1991

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dailytatsu · 3 years

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Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!

Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7

Thanks for the request! ✨

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[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).

Gn! Reader

I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters ＿|￣|○

Sorry for any mistakes!

Request are open!

Genshin Masterlist

Second part ->

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VENTI

To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.

Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.

But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.

The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?

His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.

Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!

He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.

Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.

Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.

Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.

He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.

The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.

But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-

As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.

Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.

“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.

“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.

“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”

He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.

This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.

Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.

The song is cursed.

One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.

It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.

The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.

A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.

The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.

As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

ZHONGLI

Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.

Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.

Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.

How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?

Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.

He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.

The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.

You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe

“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”

“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”

“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”

Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.

Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.

Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-

For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.

Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.

Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.

Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).

He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.

You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.

Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.

He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.

With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.

Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.

Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!

But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.

Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

XIAO

Tried to kill you.

I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??

Sorry, but he had a point.

Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.

Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.

Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.

And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.

Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.

Nice(n’t) to meet u.

What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?

Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.

No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.

He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.

(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)

You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.

He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.

It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.

“That song… ”

“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.

It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.

Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.

He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?

You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.

That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.

I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.

If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.

➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹➷➹ ➷➹ ➷

SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI

Also tried to kill you.

Well, the puppet tried to.

And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.

But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.

Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.

She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.

When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.

In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.

Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.

She knew that you would found a way to be back.

It’s better like this.

And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.

There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.

Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,

Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.

As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.

Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.

When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.

Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.

You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.

Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.

You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.

Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-

“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”

“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”

Well yes, but actually no.

“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”

“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.

“I’ll allow it.” She said.

Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.

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stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 2 years

Text

Prominence [WCh. 2.44]

Social Media AU ; Idol AU ; Added Unit AU CW/TW: Language Genre: Comedy, Romance Pairing: NCT x Idol!Reader, Seonghwa x Reader Y/N Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 4.8K

Notes: And the big reveal :) We made it ladies Disclaimer: Please remember that this is an AU and a work of fiction, obviously the idols mentioned/written about in this story would never partake in these actions. The idols mentioned in this work are meant to be seen more as face claims rather than the actual idols themselves.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading!

February 20, 2022

"So, yeah, that's everything that's happened so far," you finished wrapping up your story. You'd told Seonghwa everything he needed to know about your alleged stalker, from the strange incidents to the reporting, and so on. Even the details that seemed insignificant, like that one time he knocked over your phone on accident. Later that day Yangyang had told you that he thought that he almost declined the call, but he wasn't entirely sure. All the while Seonghwa listened attentively. His arms were crossed and his head, although tilted slightly down, was turned so that he could listen carefully.

"That's scary," Seonghwa looks around. "Take it from someone who knows..." he adds.

"What ever happened with Juliet?"

"Filed a restraining order," he answers. "She hasn't bothered me since. I've upheld my end of everything, so now it should all be over, hopefully."

"If you don't mind me asking... what exactly did she have on the both of us?"

"I'll tell you once we're out of here," he says. "You'll never know who's listening." He had a point, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't curious what she had on him that made him think irrationally enough to suddenly break things off. "She hasn't bothered you at all, has she?"

"No, but just in case I've been trying to get it through with the company but there's just 'not enough evidence,' or however they put it," you grumbled. "Oh, before I forget, I'm pretty sure my stalker's name is-" you were cut off by a plate of tiramisu being placed in front of you.

"Hey, (Y/N)."

"Hey, Yang," you answered without thinking while picking up your spoon. Then, you whipped your head up. "What are you still doing here?!" You looked at him. He was wearing a waiter's uniform now, complete with a white button-up and apron tied around his waist, all topped off with a messy bow tie. "You couldn't have at least done that right?" You pointed to it, but your words went through one ear and out the other. He places his hands on top of the table, a strange but set determination in his eyes.

"I think I saw Red," he says quietly.

"Who's Red?" You ask.

"You know who Red is!"

"I do? Oh, I do," you gasped. "Where?!" Your eyes quickly darted around once again, feeling a strange constriction in your chest. You grasped at the table cloth on your lap.

"Don't worry, I got it handled," he says.

"Mm... something tells me that I shouldn't believe that," you pressed your lips together and shook your head.

"Don't worry, I got it," he repeats himself. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know," he looks at Seonghwa. "Because miscommunication kills relationships." Seonghwa chokes on his coffee. "Anyway, you got strawberry shortcake, yeah?" He slides the cake over and is off.

"He could've been a little more subtle about it," you grimaced.

"He's not wrong," Seonghwa mumbles. He looks down at the cake. You could tell that he wanted to say something more, but he stopped himself, taking a piece of the cake instead. "Strange running into him here," Seonghwa says.

"Actually, he followed me over here because of that work stalker I told you about," you played with the small spoon in your hand. "He said no at first, so I don't know what came over him to show up, but yeah," you explained. "No clue why he's working now, though, maybe he also signed up for the waiter event and- Ah!" You snapped your fingers. "Oh, that's why he said he was busy! Maybe he was working this event and realized I was coming here too!" You turned back to Seonghwa. Then, you heard a door slam open and you flinched, both you and Seonghwa looking back at the entrance.

"It's Liu Yangyang!" A girl shouts.

"Oh, dear, this won't end well," you readjusted your hat and Seonghwa turned back towards you, readjusting his own cap. In an instant, the café's filled with chatters and shouts, all combined with the neverending chimes of the bell on the door chiming.

"Let's just finish up here and head out," he says.

"I agree," you made sure to keep your head down as the café filled with even more people. "Anyway, as I was saying-"

"Beomhan spill coffee on me next!" You heard someone shriek.

"He must be popular," you said while looking up to see this trainwreck, but instead seeing another waiter.

Something bad's going to happen, why hasn't it happened yet? God, you shouldn't have even shown up.

"Hi, do you want more coffee? Yes, okay! Cool!" The waiter spoke in a rush, filling up your and Seonghwa's mugs.

"Yunho?! What are you still doing here?" Seonghwa asks.

"Still?" You ask.

"He was my ride here," Seonghwa answers. Right, you forgot that Yunho was the only one who knew how to drive. "Did you also sign up for the celebrity waiter thing? I thought it was only for that trainee group..."

"I'm poor, hyung," his hands were shaking as he refilled Seonghwa's mug.

"What?" He asks.

"You should work too!" Despite the wide smile, the fear in Yunho's eyes betrayed him.

"What?!" He asks again.

"Ahaha, I look snazzy though, right? Like," Yunho strikes a quick pose and you narrowed your glance.

Years, you'd been living in Korea for years, and most specifically you'd been living with people around your age all of which happen to be somewhat similar to you. More recently, you'd been spending time with Yangyang and Mark. Now, Mark, bless him, he's a sweet thing but oh so easy to read. Yangyang, on the other hand, is a wild card. Mix that with your competitiveness and your own natural affinity to just play off of him, you get into the worst situations. With that said, you'd seen Mark come up with some creative ways to get you and Yangyang out of whatever mess you brought upon themselves.

Needless to say, you know a diversion when you see one.

"Yunho? What's going on?" You asked. A single bead of sweat rolled down the side of his head. He clearly wasn't used to this kind of thing.

"What did you say? You want more coffee?" He laughs it off. You leaned back to look behind him and Yunho only leaned to continue to block your vision. The further you leaned back the more Yunho leaned forward until he had to hold onto the wood railing behind you to stay steady.

Oh, if only you could see what was going on behind him.

"Shoot, I'm sorry," Beomhan's hands flew up when he knocked over Kyungjae's glass, the cold brewed drink spilling on his lap.

"Argh, fuck, you clumsy son of a- Do you know how expensive this was?!" Kyungjae stopped when he saw Yangyang walking up to the table, his face immediately shifted into a smile. "Hey, what a coincidence," he smiles.

'Two-timing piece of shit,' Yangyang smiled through the disgust.

"Hey, sorry, about him," Yangyang says. "He's a bit starstruck. Trainee and now he's working with a couple of idols," he says. "Hey, funny running into you here, you come here often?"

"Actually, a friend of mine told me about this place," Kyungjae answers. "How about you?"

"This guy, and I," Yangyang drapes his arm around Beomhan's shoulders, "go way back, and he asked me to come out and help him and his trainee friends, so how could I say no?"

"Yeah, definitely, we're besties," Beomhan nods his head and Yangyang squeezes his shoulder.

"Just a strange coincidence is all," Kyungjae says, patting the spilled liquid with a napkin.

"You're the one to talk," Yangyang mutters.

"Sorry, again, sir," Beomhan cuts in. "But we have this policy for walk-in customers, forty-five minute cut off and your time is up," he says. He looks down at the half-finished cake. "Can I get you a bag or something?"

"No, that's fine, I'll be on my way," Kyungjae says. "You should really put a sign in front saying that though," he says with a hint of annoyance. Once he was out of the café, only then did he relax.

"Huh, time limit seating, nice touch," Yangyang says. "Thanks, man, I owe you one," Yangyang fist bumps Beomhan and the other smiles.

"Yeah, I got you. Stalkers are evil man, good luck with that," he says.

"Beomhan! You're fired!" A voice rings out. Beomhan turns on his heel and points to the manager.

"Sir! I don't actually work here!"

"Stop spilling coffee!"

"Yes, sir," he turns back to Yangyang. "Anyway, I'm going back to my tables so I don't actually lose my job, I'll see you later," he waves his hand and is off. "Good luck with everything!"

"Well, I'm glad this wasn't a trainwreck, all the signs were here and nothing happened," you sighed once Yunho finally marched off following a strange-sounding bird call, but at this rate you'd take anything that would happen today as long as it's nothing bad.

"I know, at least you didn't get coffee spilled on you this time," Seonghwa says. "But, looks like it'll be hard for us to get out with all of these fans in here all of a sudden."

"Hi, I have the check for you guys," Beomhan walks over and slides the check in the middle of the table. "Hope you guys enjoyed!"

"For once, I did," you nodded. "See, it's kind of funny, actually, every time I've been here something bad has happened," you explained.

"Something bad? Like what?"

"My card got stolen here the first time," you answered. "And I got-" at that moment, a customer bumped into Beomhan, causing him to push against the table and, you guessed it, coffee to spill all over your lap. "Ah! Shit, that's hot," you winced. "Whoooo!" You held in the scream.

"Looks like I spoke too soon," Seonghwa grimaces.

"Sorry! Sorry, oh my god, I am so sorry, holy shit it's steaming," Beomhan grabs napkins and starts drying the spilled coffee.

"It's okay, it's okay!" You held your hand up when he offered you some napkins. "It's not your fault," you bit down on your tongue, the burning sensation fizzling out. You took one of them to dab the tears forming at the corners of your eyes though. "God, did Yunho grab that kettle straight from the stove?" You clenched your jaw.

"Uh, um..." Beomhan looks between you and Seonghwa. "Are you two dating again?"

"I'm sorry?" You shook your head. Seonghwa straightened his posture. "I mean, no, but why are you asking?"

"Okay, uh..." he takes one of the dry napkins and his pen. He scribbles down something on it and hands it to you. "This is my number, I'll make it up to you."

"Wait, I mean, thanks? But what's that got to do with us dating?"

"Wouldn't it be kind of rude to hand you my number if you were?" He squints his eyes and you respond in kind.

"Beomhan! I mean it! You're fired!"

"Oop, there goes my temp job," he sighs. "No, but seriously, I am so sorry, please don't press charges."

"What? Why would I-"

"It's (Y/N)!" You heard your name being shouted out and you ducked your cap. Yeah, you jinxed it.

"Uh... uh... diversion, um..." Beomhan looks around. "Oh my god! Is that Jeong Yunho of the hit group ATEEZ about to have a dance off with Liu Yangyang of the also hit group WayV in the middle of the café?! What?!" He could not have said it in a more obvious manner. Yangyang and Yunho look at each other and you held your hands to your head.

'Best friend telepathy come in clutch.' You thought to yourself. 'Come on, Yang, I need a distraction but also don't disappoint me.'

Yangyang, meanwhile, felt chills run down his spine.

"Uh... drop a beat?" He looks at the employee at the register, who quickly changed the music. The droves of customers huddled around the two, excitement focused on the center.

"Now's our chance!" You grabbed your things and hopped out of the booth. Seonghwa followed you out and, in one swift move, he slips his coat over your shoulders, no doubt to hide the staining coffee on your outfit. He tugs his hat down and you do the same, both of you keeping your heads down and your eyes forward. With one hand on the small of your back, he guides you through the crowd. He pulls the door open and you step out, taking a deep breath now that you were both out in the open.

"That was close," he closes the door behind him. You make a move to take the coat off, but he buttons it for you instead. "It's a bit cold out right now, let's take a walk," he says.

"Yeah, I'd like that," you matched his pace easily, or did he match yours? You both walked into the nearby park, the sun now beginning to set and an orange hue filling the world. True to his words, the cold nipped at your cheeks and your breath fogged into small puffs when you tried to warm up your hands. You both walked in silence for a while and, once the number of people dwindled, you stopped under a tree. Sitting down at the park bench, you thought to yourself, if this same situation happened just a few months ago, it would've been one of the most romantic moments of your week. But, how about now? How did you feel about it now?

"(Y/N)."

"Seonghwa."

You both spoke at the same time, eyes that were locked with each other now turning away. You looked down at your shoes for a bit, neither of you saying anything. You wondered if he was debating the same thing you were?

"Is it okay if I go first?" You ask.

"Of course," he says. His shoes pointed towards you and his legs nearly knocked against yours. And hands, yours were folded on your lap and his were so close to your legs. He was listening.

"I'm sorry," were the first two words that came out. They didn't feel strained at all, but there was this odd feeling tugging back at your throat. You looked up at him and he looked at you. What was it in those eyes of his? They were soft, and only for a few brief moments did they break away from you before shifting back. "I'm sorry for not hearing you out that day, and I'm sorry for making this a much bigger problem than it had to be. It wasn't fair to you, and it wasn't fair to the people around us, and for that I hope you'd forgive me for acting like such a child. I'd been expecting you to reach out to me first and, when you did, I pushed you away. I really don't know what came over me that day, maybe I was just upset that I was shut out in the first place or maybe it was just me being stubborn but... I'm sorry," you nodded your head, diverting your glance for a moment before focusing back on him. He only nods, just a short one, and you felt your anxiety rise.

"It was a shock that day, I'll tell you that," he says. "But, I should've known you well enough to know you'd be upset like that, that was as much on me as it was on you, I was out of line myself just barging in there," he starts. He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry too," he says. Eyes, what were they doing? The gaze they held was still as soft as they were when they first focused on you in the café, but now there was a new addition to them. What was it? "I'm sorry for dragging you into a situation I should've long dealt with before, and I'm sorry that I kept you in the dark about everything, I should've told you what was happening from the beginning, and I didn't," he says. "But, most of all, I'm sorry for not trusting you," he adds.

Again, you felt that constriction in your chest, it climbed up to your throat and it stayed there for a while. His eyes had slightly begun to water, he sits up and looks to the sky instead. You, meanwhile, turn your head down, your own vision blurring at the sides.

"All you've ever asked of me is just to trust in you, and still at that moment, I disregarded that," he continues. "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve any of what I put you through," he finishes.

"Seonghwa, I'm sorry too," you cleared your throat. "I'm sorry for not prioritizing how you felt." He places a hand on your shoulder now, his arm along your back, and he held it there. "God, I'm sorry, I know you trusted me, and there were many times that I'd broken that trust and still you found it in you to overlook them, and I took advantage of that," you continued. "And for that, I really am sorry," you looked up at him. He pulls you to his chest now and you wrap your arms around him. You tuck your head under his and he sighs, relaxing into your hold.

"Hey, now, come on..." he says. "I never had a problem with you being with your friends," he rubs his hand on your back. "Sure, there were a few times that made me a little suspicious, but I trusted you, still do," his voice drops below a whisper and you took a shaky breath. "Hey, are we okay?" He asks. You don't answer for a while. Were you okay? You thought about everything that everyone had told you these past few months, then you thought about yourself. Putting one and two together and really just thinking about it. You nodded against his chest, and you could feel his shoulders relax.

"Yeah, we're okay," you finally answered and his hold around you got tighter.

"I'm glad," he nuzzles his head against yours, and all feels right again.

"Can we not fight like that again? All that felt so shitty," you chuckled.

"Yeah, let's not do that again," he shakes his head. "I think Hongjoong had an aneurysm when I told him everything that happened," he groans.

"Oh no, poor Hongjoong, I hope he didn't get too stressed out," you pulled away only slightly, but his arms remained. You stayed like that for a while at this close distance. "Have you heard about our fanclub?"

"The Investigation Team? Is that what they call themselves?"

"I think so."

"Yeah, Hongjoong told me about it," he laughs. "It's remarkable, couldn't they have just asked us?" His chest rumbled under your head and you smiled.

"Right! Although, I did have some fun reading through all of their texts, should we tell them?" You snickered.

"No, if they're a good Investigation Team they'll figure it out later," he chuckles. You both sat like that for a while longer.

"I'm happy," he says.

"Me too..." You started. Then, that same guilty conscious that bothered you on your way here came back up again. "But..." once you said that, Seonghwa swallowed harshly. "No, no, it's nothing bad," you waved your hand and he relaxes again. "It's just... right now I'm in the middle of NCThree schedules, the comeback's in two days and we have to film promotions, and in a couple of weeks I start recording with ANiMA then we start filming and oh gosh," your eyes widened with realization. Now that you were listing them all off, you hadn't realized how much you had on your plate until now. "I really really want to make this work," you turn to him and he nods. "But I can't... I can't do that right now," you admitted. You couldn't read his expression.

"I understand," he says. "To be fair, me and the other members are finishing up our tour in Europe soon too, right now doesn't seem to be a good time for both of us, huh?" He says.

"Unfortunately so..." you answered. "And, I know, we made it work before. But I want to start this one right," you say. "If you're willing to wait just for a little bit, then I am too." Still, he's silent.

"For you, I'll wait however long I have to," he answers. Ah, there it goes. You told yourself you wouldn't cry, but here you were. You wiped away the stray tears and smiled through it.

"Then it's a deal then, we'll wait until we're both good," you told him. You held your hand out to him and, in a strange gesture, he links your ring fingers together.

"We'll wait for when we can prioritize each other then," he resolves. "However long that takes."

"And hopefully not too long," you shook your linked hands slightly and, with his free hand, he wipes away the tear that had rolled down your face.

"Don't cry, love," he says.

"I'm really trying not to, I don't think I look pretty when I cry," you joked.

"Ah, you really are sorry," he chuckles. "You only joke like that when you're serious."

"Hey!"

"For the record, though, you're always pretty to me," he smiles.

"Aw, come on now!" With your own free hand, you covered your face and tried to collect yourself. "Let's just be happy for now, okay?" You turn your hand in his grasp and lace your fingers with his.

"Okay," he nods slightly.

"Is that Park Seonghwa?!" You heard someone shout. Leave it to some fan to ruin the moment, great. You were both expecting it, though, you're just glad it didn't happen a moment earlier.

"Oh shit," you both ducked your heads. "We should go," you say.

"We should," you both stood up. "I'll... I'll call you later?" He sounded unsure about it, as if he were testing the waters.

"Yeah, but if I don't pick up right away I'll call you back as soon as I can!" You both started walking in different directions. Probably not a good idea to walk together now that he'd been spotted, at least. You held your hand up and waved goodbye and he responded in kind, muttering a 'drive safe,' or something along the lines as you ran off back to the café, your body felt lighter and, maybe you were just imagining it, but the world seemed a little brighter too.

"Someone's happy," Jihyun smiles when she sees you walk into the dorm.

"Who, me?" Your hand rose to your lips. "Oh, I guess I am."

"I suppose it went well then, right?" Saeron asks.

"I think it did," your wide smile was enough to tell the truth.

"I hope it did! That doesn't look like your coat," Jihyun chuckles.

"Oh! Yeah, Beomhan spilled hot coffee on me earlier so Seonghwa lent me his coat to cover it," you muttered. You pulled out the crinkled napkin from your pocket. It'd probably be a good idea to let him now that you weren't going to do anything rash.

"Beomhan? From Tiktok?" Yeseul asks.

"You know him?"

"Kinda, he's a trainee and that's about it," Yeseul shrugs. "You're kind of similar actually."

"Huh?"

"Wait, wait, but before we get into how much of a dude magnet (Y/N) is," Jihyun cuts in. "How'd it go?"

"Yes, is it all well? Are you two okay now?" Saeron asks. You nodded your head, a wide smile on your face and she smiled herself, running up to you and holding your hands. "Ah! I'm so glad! You must feel so much better!" You heard a happy bark down the hall and Mars bounds up to you too.

"Looks like that little guy knows something good happened too," Jihyun walks up to the both of you. "So, what's the status?"

"Oh, I'm still single."

"You're still what?!" You heard someone shout. You looked around.

"Who said that?"

"I did," Yeseul rose her hand from her spot on the couch, she was preoccupied with something on her iPad. Although, you could've sworn that voice sounded like a pitched up Jungwoo, but you have been hearing things all day. "I'm just surprised, I was sure you'd both agree to pretend like it didn't happen," she says.

"I mean... kind of? We talked out everything that happened and all that," you confirmed. "I dunno, I'm just glad that it's all working out, you know? Both of us are really busy right now, so we agreed to officially get back together once we can ease back into things, you know?"

"So you can start off right, I understand," Saeron grins. "Oh, I'm happy you both worked it out," she squeezes your arm.

"Yeah, I'm glad too," you pet Mars and the dog cries happily. "Ah! I have to tell the guys! Is Yangyang home yet?"

"Yangyang? Haven't seen him since he ran out after you," Jihyun shakes her head. "Mark, though, is in his room, I think. He and the other Dreamies just got back."

"Oh, man, what is he up to?" You shook your head.

At that exact same time.

"To us!" Yangyang ignored the burning in his cheeks as he rose the shot glass.

"To us!" Yunho repeats, holding his own glass up. He readjusts the fake mustache over his lip, the cheap thing peeling off again regardless.

"To us, for bringing the it couple back together," Yangyang's words slurred.

"To us, for preventing a catastrophe," Yunho clinks his glass with Yangyang's and they both downed their drinks.

"Hey! I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been?" Seonghwa marches into the bar. "And... are you drunk?! You're our driver!"

"I'm... yeah, I'm drunk," Yunho slides a glass towards Seonghwa. "But it's okay! We're celebrating the success of your relationship! Just have a glass!" He giggles.

"I mean... we're technically still not together, and you two didn't even do anything... How did you know that anyway?!"

"Oh, we saw the whole thing," Yangyang drunkenly nods.

"The whole thing! Hyung! I'm so jealous... you've got moves," Yunho leans against the counter until he's lying his head against it. "So jealous... I know of some people who'd move mountains to date her..." he sighs.

"Yeah... I know," Seonghwa nods his head. "That's what I worry about sometimes..." Yangyang pours Seonghwa a glass.

"What can be done? She's a great person, fun to be around, true ride or die, and she's pretty," Yangyang groans. Before Seonghwa could comment, Yangyang continues, "anyway, we're probably going to take a taxi home, just have one with us," Yangyang offers.

"Hm... I'll have one," he takes it and drinks it in one go.

"Eh, I'm sure he's fine," you shrugged. Right as you said it, your phone rang with his contact name across it. You answered quickly. "Hey, Yang, what's up?"

"(Y/N)! Your boyfriend! Ex-boyfriend? Or about to be boyfriend? Whatever! I don't know! Yeah! He's cool! Like, he's always been cool, but like he's cooler now! I guess I technically don't hate him anymore but I'm saying this really loud so he knows that if he fucks up again I'm gonna... I'm gonna do something, don't really know yet, but it'll be something, because you're my best friend! Leon told me last night and I was like OMG, you are so right and so fucking wise for a cat, and being your best friend I'm gonna... Oh, fuck, I'm gonna be sick, wait," Yangyang's words were slurred together and, faintly, you could hear Seonghwa saying something behind him.

"You're with Hwa?! Dude, how much did you drink?! And did you say Leon talked to you? As in Leon your cat?"

"Yeah! We're... we're drinking... it was Yunho's idea."

"You need a ride, don't you."

"Yes, please."

"What about those two?" You wondered if you could fit all of them on your motorcycle. You probably could, just not legally.

"They're taking, hurgh, they're taking a taxi home," he replies.

"Yeah, okay, I'll be there," you grabbed your keys. "If you're going to throw up do it before I get there."

"Yes, ma'am." You could see him nodding his head in an exaggerated manner and you snickered. "Please hurry, Seonghwa and Yunho just got into the taxi and now I'm... I'm all alone."

"Aww, poor, Yangers, yeah, I'll be there soon," you sighed. You shook your keys in your hand and Saeron and Jihyun waved at you.

Honestly, you could've just gotten him a taxi yourself, but you couldn't pass up the blackmail material that would definitely come from this. And, what the hell, you were in a good mood anyway, where's the harm?

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