#thank you all for making it such a good experience
Text
Never seen that color blue
Pairing: Azriel x reader | WC: 4.5k | Warnings: smut, PIV, unprotected sex, fingering, angst city baby population: me
Summary: follow up to 'I pretend you're mind all the damn time'. You and Azriel return home from that fateful mission. How will you two cope with your recent discoveries?
Author’s note: eeeek everyone loved part one and I was so happy bc I adored it so much and I was so glad to see such a good response!!! Anyway shout out to Hope @prythianpages she’s a real one she helped me with some plot stuff thank you thank you 🥰
Your sighs lived in Azriel’s ears, carried on the wind by his shadows. How they carried it he’s not sure - your sighs were left behind, echoing through the hall in that Illyrian camp he unceremoniously left.
He was so used to using his shadows as a shield to hide at least some part of himself. They had disappeared that night, making it impossible for him to hide the way you shine in his thoughts. The way everything he does brings him back to you. Before, he hadn't realized just how much of his life revolved around you - you had crept into the crevices of the day to day monotony of living together.
Every day he’d make some snide comment to Cassian, waiting to tell you about it so he could watch you scrunch your nose and laugh at whatever response Cassian had. If he was lucky, you’d throw out a hand onto his bicep, his skin immediately tattooing your touch into his memory.
Every day he would help you make lunch, stealing the occasional strawberry. You would swat at him, calling him a 'berry burglar'. It was a title he wore with pride, even more so when you had made him a ridiculous party hat for his birthday with the moniker across the top.
Every day during dinner you would steal something from his plate, whether it be a carrot or potato or bite of meat. You would say it was retribution for what he stole during lunch, and he’d allow it, a small smile on his face at your thieving.
From the entire flight home to now, two weeks later, his skin had remained on fire from your touch. Every nerve ending screamed your name, your scent, your heat. His thoughts were consumed by you previously, but now it was as if every thought had a backing track of your voice, your skin, your touch.
He tried to ignore it, tried to push it down, down, down. But every time he closed his eyes, his thoughts kept going back to the obscenities of that day. The way you looked as you rode him, how you laid yourself bare before him. The curve of your hips, the swell of your breasts. Your legs on either side of him, your mouth on his. The way your fingers touched his wings.
Gods, your fingers. How delicately you had touched him, as if he had ever been a fragile creature deserving of such tenderness. He had never let anyone touch his wings before, determined to leave some part of himself untouched if the Mother would ever bless him with a mate.
He doesn't care much about that now.
The images tortured him, finding him everywhere he went. At meals, in the shower, as he roamed the halls searching for your scent while still avoiding you. The worst was when he slept, he only dreamt of that night over and over again. He became insatiable. He was terrible for fisting his cock to the way you felt around him, the moans you made, how beautiful you had looked bare before him.
He was terrible for it not making a difference. He’d finish, shame and embarrassment coating him as his cock would immediately get hard again.
He didn’t know how to convey that he wanted more. He wanted you, all of you. Not when he practically forced himself on you once before. Not when he was burying himself away in his room, hiding in his shadows in the places in between, to avoid even a glimpse of you.
-
The flight home from that mission was the worst experience of your life. The only sound was the wind whipping around you two, his grip on you barely there. He kept you as far from his body as he could, and you couldn’t blame him. You had just violated him, for cauldron’s sake. And yet, your skin thrummed where his body made contact with yours, even through the multiple layers of leathers between you two.
The wind whipped into your eyes, making them an even harsher shade of red. The debrief with Rhys didn't even register to you, you couldn't recall a single moment of it even if you tried. Explanations of the mission were given from both you and Azriel, but the high lord knew something was wrong between you two.
Your eyes downcast to the floor, your thumb rubbing the skin of your other hand seeking some comfort. Azriel's wings twitched every so often, the only tell Rhys has ever been able to figure out from his brother.
You expected Azriel to tell Rhysand of your actions, asking him to execute you on the spot. You’d deserve nothing less.
But those words never came.
The meeting went by in a blur - your only memory of it is the back of Azriel's wings as you both left Rhys's office. The membranous skin was so close, and now you knew what it felt like. How incredibly smooth it felt as your fingers glided over the veins, feeling where his bones were underneath.
Your hands itched to reach out to feel them again. Instead you watched the back of him until he retreated into the room opposite your own, closing the door quickly behind him. Leaving you, yet again, alone, with more questions than ever before on the wrong side of the door, the answers you need behind it.
You considered knocking, bringing your hand up to the oak finish of his door. You hold your fist in the air, ready to strike, when you can't bring yourself to do it. Instead, you lower your arm, softly padding into the room across the hall, seeking comfort in your own bed.
You woke up the next day after a fitful sleep, one of dreams haunted by the male who slept across the hall from you. You moved to your bathroom, surveying your body in the aftermath of the mission. Not much bruising from the actual mission, but you were littered with Azriel’s touch.
You can make out all of his fingers on the bruising on your hips, your knees battered from the harsh desk you kneeled atop.
You’re sure Azriel’s back is littered with similar bruising.
Neither of you mentioned what happened in that room to anyone.
A week passes by, neither of you were brave enough to talk to the other or to anyone else. You don’t even see Azriel, not even a glimpse of his scent lingered in the hallways of the House of Wind.
You asked Cassian, and he told you that Azriel’s been around the house, but you two must be missing each other. You miss the curious gaze Cassian gives you, taking in your dark eyes, comparing them to the same bags underneath his brother’s eyes.
After you left, Cassian kept thinking about you and the sad look in your eyes as you said his brother’s name. He kept thinking as he continued making his lunch, thinking about how strangely the two of you had been acting for the past week.
Today marked an entire week since either you or Azriel have shown up to Valkyrie training. He was well aware that the training was somewhat optional, and that you two missed it whenever you were away on missions. But you were here in the house, you just came by to speak with him, but you wouldn’t come to training.
Cassian sighed, feeling like he was losing his godsdamn mind over the realization that something was wrong. Because it wasn’t just training. It was dinners, lunches, drinks, everything. At this point Cassian could be convinced fairly easily that the two of you moved out.
He huffed, knowing he’d have to do something about this mess. He was always cleaning up his brother's messes when it came to females. Rhys and Azriel just didn’t understand them the way Cassian did.
The opportunity for Cassian to act came when he happened across Azriel in an unused room in the House of Wind doing paperwork. He quickly slipped away, not wanting Azriel to catch wind of him being nearby and to leave abruptly.
He ran down to the kitchen, searching for you. He pulled you off your stool, telling you he had something important to show you.
“Shh, come on, you gotta be quiet or it’ll ruin the surprise.”
You rolled your eyes, but allowed him to slip you through the halls. He walked down one of the house's many hallways, stopping in front of a door you actually weren’t sure where it led to. Cassian opened the door and pushed you inside.
You hear the lock on the other side twist, shutting you inside. You turn around, trying the handle, only to find it not budging. You turn on the spot, resting your back against the door. Your palms are sweating as you look over to Azriel, shocked to find him in here. He looked just as bewildered to find you in here as you felt.
Stupid Cassian being a stupid busybody.
Breathe in, breathe out.
You calm yourself enough to open your mouth, only able to get out “Az-“ before the shadowsinger folded into his shadows, his hazel eyes the last thing you saw before he began disappearing before you. Your breaths become more ragged as you sink down to the floor, the reality of the situation sinking in.
He hated you.
And he should.
He couldn’t even stay in the same room as you.
Your voice is soft after you spend a few moments searching for it. “Cassian, please,” you whimper through the door, “he’s gone.”
Cassian unlocks the door, wide eyed looking down at you sitting on the floor. You can’t look at him, slowly rising back onto your feet. The shame, the embarrassment floods you as you walk past him, not answering his questions or his confused gaze.
You open the door to your room, laying down in bed and just crying. He won’t even look at you after what you’ve done to him.
Cauldron, what have you done?
Cassian stops by at some point, dropping off some water and some food. You have no idea what time it is, you don’t hear whatever it is he says, hardly register his presence as he climbs into your bed, pulling you into his warm chest.
It was then you broke your silence, repeating, “I fucked up, he won’t even look at me” over and over until you eventually wore yourself out.
You woke up the next day, eyes puffy from crying all night.
You know what you have to do, but you don’t want to. You get dressed, heading through the house to Cassian’s door. You knock swiftly, head swiveling down the hall to ensure Azriel isn’t lingering about. Nesta opens the door, her hair wet from her fresh from training bath.
“Can we talk?”
-
After explaining your thoughts and plans to them, both of them against your ideas but still not knowing exactly why you feel the need to do this, Cassian flies you to the River House, dropping you off to speak with Rhys while he goes and spends some time with Feyre.
You knock on the door to Rhys’s office, and he quickly opens the door letting you in before leaning against his desk, bracing his hands behind him.
You sit in the chair across from him, nervously twisting one of your rings trying to figure out how to start this conversation, when Rhys’s voice interrupts your thoughts.
“You want to leave.”
Stupid Cassian butting in again.
“Is this because of-“ he twirls his hands around in the air- “whatever’s going on between you and Azriel?”
There’s no point in hiding it anymore.
“Yes.”
Your tone is flat, trying to keep it together when all you want to do is fall apart. Everything was wrong, so so so wrong.
“And you think running away will fix your problems?”
“I’m not running away,” your tone becomes more defensive, “I messed up, he won’t look at me anymore, I’m giving him space.”
“How long will you give him this space?”
“However long it takes me to be able to look in the mirror again.”
Rhys’s smugness deflates, a pang echoing through him about all of the shitty choices he was forced to make on behalf of someone else.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” you added, “I’m just moving into a different house. I’ll be in the same city. It’s not a big deal.”
His eyes bore into yours, “if it’s not such a big deal, you can do it.”
“Thanks, but I wasn’t really asking permission-“
“But you have to tell him.”
-
Later that night you open the door to Azriel’s room, dashing in and softly shutting the door behind you before placing your body in front of it.
The room was one you’ve spent countless hours in - Azriel considered you to be the only member of the Inner Circle he trusted enough to share his private space with, an inclusion that you valued greatly.
The walls were a beautiful shade of blue, deep and rich like the ocean singing to you from the shore. The walls held a few paintings from Feyre - one depicting Ramiel, one a portrait of some of his shadows, and one a sweet moment when the two of you had fallen asleep together on a couch, Azriel’s body draped across yours, wings covering the couch and the tips touching the floor.
She had given it to him privately, because she knew Cassian would surely have some choice words about it. You hadn’t been there when she gifted it to him, but you do remember how his eyes couldn’t meet yours the first time you saw it as he called it ‘cute’.
Azriel was sitting at his desk, papers strewn across it, hair mused from running his fingers through it.
He looked up, his face scrunching at the sight of you in his room. His eyes narrow, trying to discern if this was real or not. He scans your body, looking for some indication that this wasn’t real, that his mind was still playing tricks on him.
“We need to talk,” looking up to the ceiling, you started pacing around his room, trying to block out his smell, the heat from his gaze, as you tried to remember the speech you had prepared about how it would be good for the both of you to have space.
Azriel’s demeanor shifts, “yes, we do.”
You start wringing your hands, needing something to do with them. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish, desperate to find the words to start your rambling.
“I assaulted you.”
Okay, not the best first words. Azriel’s face doesn’t change as he watches you try again.
“I’m leaving.”
Still not great words.
“I took advantage of you, when we were in that room. I assaulted you and Rhys should throw a noose over my neck for it.”
Azriel tries to interrupt, but you stop him.
“There was no way you could have actually consented to that. You were out of your mind, and I took advantage of you. You were needy and I used you for my own gratification and it’s killing me. And I know it’s killing you. You can’t even look at me, for cauldron’s sake!”
Your feet move of their own accord, pacing in front of the door, unable to look at the male before you.
“You- I-,” you don’t want to tell him, not like this, but you need to air everything out before letting him go completely. You turn to face him, his expression unreadable.
“I’m in love with you. I have been for cauldron knows how long. And I- I thought I was helping you, but now you can’t even look at me and when you walked out I realized that I fucked up and let my feelings cloud my judgement-“
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.”
Azriel’s words put an end to your rambling, making his way over to you.
“What are you talking about? I forced your hand - you felt obligated to help me-“
It was at this point you both began speaking over each other, trying to get the other to see how awful you were in your decisions.
“-but I practically pinned you down-“
“-held you down on my-“
“-you were out of your mind-“
“-drunk on lust-“
Neither of you stop until a shadow comes whirling by, pushing both of you forward unsteadily. Hands reach out to catch each other, yours falling onto his chest.
“But I- I told Rhys I was moving out for a while, to give you space.”
“I don’t want space.”
You shake your head, not allowing yourself to believe his words, “but you’ve been avoiding me for weeks now, I thought.. I thought you hated me.”
Azriel’s hand tentatively moved up to your cheek, cupping your jaw, “I thought you find me repulsive for forcing you to… help me.”
“No,” you say, hands resting on his hips, “I don’t find you repulsive at all. Do you think I’m a monster?”
He snorts, “no, no.”
The two of you keep your gazes locked, the room charged with emotion. Even his shadows were still, allowing the circulation of the room to move them as they waited to hear what you two said next.
Azriel’s voice is quiet, his words coming out in a soft exhale, “I haven’t been able to get the sight of you out of my head.”
Your palms pressed against his chest, the ends of your fingers curling to grasp onto him. His fingers tangle in the ends of your hair, lightly grasping it.
“The past week, I could close my eyes and swear I could still feel you on top of me.”
You stop breathing at his words.
“You’ve been following me around like a ghost. I’ve hardly slept. All I can think of is how good I felt wrapped up in you - how it felt to be inside of you."
When you think of this night years later, you can never exactly figure out who moved forward first. Maybe it doesn’t really matter whose lips were the ones to make first contact.
The kisses you shared under Azriel’s drugged haze were rushed, desperate, laced with years of yearning underneath a haze of burning need.
Now it was all pressure, putting everything into the kiss you haven’t said. The words would come later. As would the many, many nights of staying up, words of adoration flowing between you two.
Tonight was about rewriting history, redoing previous touches.
For weeks all you could think of was him, his moans floating through your mind like a song. You woke to the sound, and it lulled you to sleep each night. Hearing those moans again made you ache with need, as if your one night together had already conditioned you.
You open your eyes to watch his darken with need, pupils blown wide. You grabbed the front of Azriel’s shirt, pulling him as close to you as possible.
You started pulling his shirt out from his trousers, reaching your hands around the back to undo the snaps underneath his wings. You start pushing the fabric up, and Azriel breaks away from you just enough to pull the shirt over his head.
His lips are immediately back on yours, a new urgency to his touch as his hands move to your ass. His hands squeeze the flesh as you bite his bottom lip.
His fingers tap twice, urging you to jump up, hooking your legs around his waist, your dress pooling at your hips.
He presses you into the wall, his mouth moving down your jaw, down your neck, down your chest. You move your fingers up to his hair, tugging lightly as he sucks on the top of your breasts, leaving a litter of hickeys across what he can see.
His hands reach down, mouth still on you, and he lifts the hem of your dress, pulling your head from the wall so he can pull your dress off.
He gazes at you, eyes heavy with lust as they roam your body, your underwear the only thing covering you. He smirks as he pushes his hips back into yours, causing you to moan at the contact.
“Beautiful,” he mumbles, and you’re not sure if it was something he meant to say out loud or not, but your cheeks blaze with heat just the same.
His lips reattached to yours, and you slid your hands back down his torso just enough for him to slam his hips into you, causing your eyes to roll back with need.
You start digging into his skin lightly with your nails, and he goes back to kissing your neck. Your fingers find the strings to his pants, which you try to start undoing, but he keeps thrusting against you, distracting you.
“Stop,” you say, breathy, “let me- undo- your pants.” He accented every other word with a thrust, leaving you breathless and soaked.
“I’m gonna- cum from this- if you don’t stop.”
His eyes light up, one of his hands holding you against the wall, the other sliding up your waist to your breast.
“Is that a challenge?”
“N-no.”
His fingers circle your nipple, pinching lightly causing you to moan at the sensation, hips thrusting with more intensity against Azriel.
“See, I think it’d be pretty hot if you came in your underwear.”
“But I- want to be- on your cock.”
“Oh but you are, baby.”
Your hands gripped his hips as you grind harder and faster onto him, feeling yourself tighten, getting closer, and closer, and closer.
“That’s it, baby. Cum for me.”
His words sent you toppling over the edge, loud moans escaping you as he held you up. Your face fell into his shoulder, and he rubbed your back.
He kissed the top of your head, moving his hands under your thighs to carry you to the bed. He collapsed onto it with you on top of him, slowly coming down from your high.
You breathe heavily on his chest, kissing his neck and down his chest as your hands move down the planes of his stomach. Fingers move through his happy trail, stopping to lightly tug on the waistband of his pants.
He lifts his hips so you can shimmy his pants off of him, letting his cock spring free. He groaned at the freedom, his cock hard and throbbing already. He flipped the two of you, his weight now on top of you, his hand sliding up the underside of your thigh leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“You are so beautiful,” he tells you.
"Az," you pant.
His fingers tighten their grip on your hip, "yes, baby?"
"Please touch me."
"So polite," he says, his fingers circling your clit. You moan at the contact, hiding your face in his neck. He quickly nips your ear, eliciting a gasp from you. “Eyes on me, baby. I want to see you.”
You bite his neck in retaliation, and he laughed as you pulled your face from his neck, his fingers tilting your chin to look at him. His thumb gently caressed your jaw as his other hand continued stroking your clit.
His fingers were divine, but as his eyes stared into yours, nothing existed outside of the two of you. Your hand moved down his chest, scraping your nails against his toned torso. The action caused his fingers to stutter slightly, but as he felt your hand move closer to his hips, he started moving faster.
He shuddered as your hand wrapped around his cock, your thumb stroking from the base to his tip. His movements falter at the distraction and his eyes darkened even further.
“Fuck,” he moaned, biting his lip.
You grin, his distraction spurring you on. You lifted your hips up, sliding your underwear off before settling back down onto the bed. His weight is nestled back on top of you, the two of you staring at each other. Your hand moves some of his hair out of his face, then moved gently to hold his face.
“We can’t go back after this.”
“I don’t want to go back.”
With his words, he slides his cock into you, feeling just as good as you remembered.
“I can’t go back.”
His words come out clipped as he thrusts into you slowly, stretching you so deliciously. You moan at his movements, causing him to go faster. His face is inches from yours, his warm breath hitting your face.
Shadows enveloped around the two of you, making a cocoon of sorts. To keep the world out or the words in, you’re not sure. All you know is this moment with Azriel.
“I can’t go back to not knowing what it’s like to have you.”
His hips thrusted inside of you, and you wrapped your legs around him. The bed moved with his thrusts, and some deep part of you wonders how loud you’re being.
You can’t find it in yourself to care.
“How can I go back to keeping my feelings to myself?”
You grip his shoulder, your nails digging into skin, and you’re sure you’ve sliced through skin, but he doesn’t register the pain at all.
“How can I go back to not knowing how good your pussy felt around me?”
You moan and he leant down to capture the sound in a kiss. The sounds in the room were obscene - the moans flowing from both of you, the headboard hitting the wall absurdly hard, the wet squelching. Neither of you cared.
You kept kissing him, hands on his shoulders trying to pull him closer and closer towards you. One of his hands moved down to rub at your clit, and that extra contact was all you needed to send you over, the pressure releasing from your belly as you came around him.
You could feel how close he was, his thrusts becoming faster and more erratic.
“I love you, Az.”
You’re not sure if you said them because you felt it or because you thought it would make him finish, but your words sent him over, his hot cum spurting inside of you. You were seeing stars, tangible thought outside of Azriel’s name impossible in the wake of your second orgasm.
Azriel collapsed on top of you, his cock still inside of you. His wings lay stretched out on the bed over you two, his arms wrapped around you, keeping you tucked in beneath him.
You wiggle your hands free to cradle his face before your hands move to the back of his neck, playing with the hairs there. After a moment he pulls his head up enough to look at you.
“Too tired for a bath?”
You smile at him, shaking your head slightly. At the movement, the house begins drawing a bath in the other room. He pushes himself off the bed before lifting you in his arms, kissing you softly on the forehead.
“Are you still moving out?”
You sound pensive as he carries you to the bath, “I could be persuaded to stay…”
Tagging everyone who asked for part two: @sirenpearldust , @thatacotargirl , @justrepostandlove , @yearninglustfully, @heartless-tate , @nocasdatsgay , @anainkandpaper , @acourtofbatboydreams , @goldenmagnolias , @je-suis-prest-rachel , @cauldronboilmetakemetovelaris, @lolasjournal , @kalulakunundrum , @daardyrnitta , @starseedsamurai , @nahimgoodmom , @persephonesalvatore, @hannzoaks , @rinalouu , @bookdragon1, @username199945 , @charlotteintumbleland , @kscyberwrld , @blacktreacle22
Permanent taglist: @vanilla-seabass @cyrygher , @lees-chaotic-brain , @topaz125, @chessebookgirl, @fides25, @lady-of-tearshed , @ashbatz , @fxckmiup , @lilah-asteria, @justvibbinghere, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @mybestfriendmademe, @heartless-tate, @tsunami-of-tears @idrkwhatthisisimsorry, @olive-main, @azrielsmate3 , @pit-and-the-pen
Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin
Thanks for reading 💕
#acotar fanfiction#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel#azriel fanfic#acotar writing#azriel x y/n#azriel smut
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Bestfriend Reader in a skirt casually sitting on eddies lap and when she gets up/or maybe eddie realizes she left a wet patch on his leg
Bestfriend!Eddie gets cockwarmed. Eddie Munson x female reader. Smut. Blurb.
(I got so carried away here!! Thank you for this prompt<3)
Eddie’s trailer wasn’t the most spacious of places, but when he offered to have movie night there rather than the Harrington mansion, you all politely agreed.
That’s how you got in this situation. Robin and Vickie were nestled up under a blanket on the floor surrounded by pillows, they seriously looked like something from a cheesy teen movie, it was such an adorable sight. Nancy and Jonathan sat side by side on the couch, his head leaning on her left shoulder and her fingers combing through his fringe, muttering something about him needing a hair cut. Steve was sat to the right of you cradling a pillow. He looked sweet all cuddled into it, his nose wrinkled up as his face pushes into the pillow, and you, were sat on Eddie’s lap.
It wasn’t an unusual thing for you to be physically affectionate with Eddie, you’d known each other since you were three. He’d showered and taken baths with you when you were kids when the Munson’s water supply was cut off from tough times with money and your mom always let them use your bath tub and shower when they needed it. He’d seen you grow from a little toddler into what you are today, 5’5 and 21 years old. He’d seen all of your style experiments to try and figure out who you were, but you were always so jealous of Eddie. He knew who he was from a young age. I mean he forced you to listen to KISS and Metallica when you were pre-teens. He knew what he wanted and what he liked, you admired that. You admired him.
Your back facing his chest, heat radiating under the blanket he’d hauled over the pair of you. You didn’t bat an eyelid when his hand snuck under your shirt, drawing little patterns with his finger tips on your skin. Tracing your spine and writing curse words with his nails, it tickled. It was soft and oh so soothing. He walked his fingers up your back, pretending as if his pointer and middle fingers were a persons legs. Getting closer and closer to the back of your neck and your head tilted back with a jolt. You turn around to face him, a look of playful annoyance plastered over your face but ruined with a smile when you were met with Eddie’s devious smirk.
He pouts, silently saying how he’ll make it up to you. He didn’t say that with words, but you knew. You and Eddie could almost read each other’s minds, it was a little scary. His fingers swoop over your back again, but this time slower and gentler. It was a barely there touch. His fingers felt featherlight as they grazed up and down your back, with both hands added now. Lifting your hand to cover your smile, a feeling of relaxation washed over you. Whilst whatever movie Robin had chosen seemed interesting, all you could think about and feel, was Eddie.
Before you knew it, you felt your throat let out a groan. A guttural moan, it was quiet and thankfully covered up by the background sound of the movie. But Eddie’s hands didn’t stop, they teased your sides, open palm rubbing up and down them. You squint your eyes shut tightly, but your brain is filled with thoughts. Thoughts of the night when the tension got too much for you, the night Eddie leant in and kissed you. He tasted of weed, you were both as high as a kite but the melody of his playing corroded coffin tape set the scene so well. He rubbed your sides just like this when you were sat on his lap last time. Only last time, he was inside you.
The burning desire in the pit of your stomach ached for more again. Rutting your body slowly across Eddie’s thigh, rolling your hips just like you did on his cock before. The feel of his denim clad thigh harsh against your clothed clit, you hide to bite your lip to hold back a moan. Eddie just felt so good. He definitely knew what you were doing, he began to bounce you on his thigh, slowly at first but picking up the pace when he felt your hands find their way to his. He rocks you, backwards and forwards, rubbing your clit against him. Pleasure washes over you completely, you’re blissed out. He begins to buck his hips beneath you, feeling his hard cock hit against your ass. You just wished he’d slide your panties aside and let you cock warm here right here, right now. He thrusts against you again, you wonder if he’s leaking in his boxers. You’d do anything to taste his pearlescent beads of cum, so you wriggle your ass in his lap. You get away with it too, pretending like you’re dancing to the music the movie is playing. Teasing him and feeling him grow harder and harder underneath you, letting him thrust against the small of your back.
Until he stops. Turns you to face him by his finger and thumb grasping your chin, “Not here, behave and you can have a special treat later.” He teases, not missing your eyes widening and the blush spread across your face at his words. After he plants a soft kiss on your forehead, you turn back and try to focus on the movie but your mind is elsewhere. It’s so fucking tedious, even if you weren’t distracted you’d find this movie boring, you make a mental note to joke about the plot holes of this film with Steve later, he definitely feels the same about Robin’s movie choices because he is in fact snoring into the pillow.
It all feels never ending, you’re so turned on and there’s nothing you can do but sit and wait, feeling Eddie’s cock deflate and turn soft underneath you. But after 40 excruciatingly long minutes when all you can feel is the throbbing between your thighs and the uncomfortable sensation of your soaked panties, cold and wet against your pussy, the movie finishes.
The party clear up their mess and the guests leave, Nancy and Jonathan drive Steve home. Robin and Vickie walk back to Vickie’s parent’s house, a “slumber party” they had told them. Leaving you and Eddie, alone. You stand up for the first time in hours, stretching your arms above your head. Eddie’s arms clasp around your middle, and he pulls you back onto the couch, pinning your arms to the cushion.
Pointing at the now dampened and discoloured material of his jeans, “look at that. You soaked me through, princess. Your pussy drenched my thigh, in front of all of our friends. So dirty.” He cooed, his voice breathy and drowning in need. Eddie’s hand lets go of your wrists and begins to palm over his jeans, a tent shape that had been there for a while now. His pants looked tight, like the button was about to pop off and his cock spring out. “Had me so fucking hard for so long, now it’s time for your treat huh?”
#mine#eddie munson#eddie x reader#eddie smut#eddie munson smut#eddie munson stranger things#eddie munson x female reader smut#eddie munson x fem reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader smut#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#requests#eddie blurb#blurb#smut#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x reader#Eddie Munson imagine#Eddie Munson blurb#stranger things#eddie the freak munson#eddie x fem reader#eddie x fem!reader#eddie x y/n#eddie x you#eddie munson smut fic#Eddie Munson x reader blurb
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i love hearts intertwined. how did you think of that idea? like what was ur inspiration?? cause its hella creative props to u
also can i ask for a y/n x oscar piastri where oscar gets jealous about how close you are to lando since you both grew up together. he gets all cold and distant. he starts ignoring you. you brush it off for a few days but it gets too much. he hears you cry to lando over the phone and he rushes in in tears to apologize. make it angsty with happy ending
hi! thanks for all ur support!! as for how i come up with ideas, i just think about what i would like to read and then i just get started by brainstorming on how i want to write them. as for "hearts intertwined" i have been loving the idea of rosberg!sister falling for lewis because it has all the tropes ever (brothers (ex) best friend, enemies to lovers, rivals, friends to enemies to strangers to lovers)! anyway here's your story! hope you enjoy!
my heart hurts (op81)
the clinking of silverware and murmur of conversation filled the bustling restaurant. you and oscar had finally snagged a quiet corner table after a long day of practice. across from you, lando held court, recounting a hilarious story from your childhood.
"and then, there was the great custard incident," lando boomed, his laughter echoing. "remember, (y/n), when you-"
you doubled over, giggling. "oh my god, lando, don't!" heat rose to your cheeks at the memory, a childhood prank that involved a particularly disgruntled neighbor and a runaway bowl of dessert.
oscar, however, remained silent, his fork poised mid-air, a frown creasing his forehead. he watched you, his gaze lingering a little too long on the way your laughter lines crinkled around your eyes, the way your hand brushed against lando's arm playfully as you swatted him away.
lando, thankfully, oblivious to the undercurrent, continued, "and there you were, covered in custard, trying to explain to mrs. henderson it was just a... 'culinary experiment'."
you snorted, tears welling up in your eyes. "god, i miss those days." you reached out, bumping fists with lando playfully. "thanks for always having my back, even when i was a disaster."
a beat of uncomfortable silence followed. lando, finally noticing oscar's stony expression, cleared his throat. "right, well, enough about the past. oscar, how's the car feeling this week?"
oscar forced a smile, his tone clipped. "good. ready to take on the track." his gaze flickered back to you, a flicker of something akin to hurt in his eyes before he turned back to his plate, pushing the food around with a distinct lack of appetite.
the rest of the meal was strained. you tried including oscar in the conversation, but his responses were short, devoid of his usual easy banter. you stole worried glances at him, the carefree joy of your reunion with lando now tinged with a growing sense of unease.
as you exited the restaurant, lando clapped oscar on the shoulder. "good luck this weekend, mate. you'll smash it."
oscar mumbled a response, his eyes glued to the ground. the walk back to your apartment was filled with a suffocating silence. you knew, with a sickening certainty, that the carefree evening you envisioned had taken a sharp turn into jealousy lane
the silence in the car was deafening. oscar, usually a chatterbox during drives, hadn't uttered a word since leaving the restaurant. you kept glancing at him, his jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the road ahead. "what's wrong, oscar?" you finally asked, your voice barely a whisper.
he shrugged, not meeting your gaze. "nothing." but his tone was clipped, a stark contrast to his usual warmth.
his hand did not hover near your thigh, he didn't kiss you at the red lights, he didn't ask if you were cold with the AC. oscar had shut himself out.
over the next few days, "nothing" became your new normal. oscar became a ghost, barely acknowledging you. you'd catch him staring at you, then quickly look away. calls and texts went unanswered. you tried brushing it off, clinging to the hope it was just race week jitters, but the sinking feeling in your gut wouldn't budge. while sleeping he would mummer a goodnight and barely cuddle,
tonight, the dam broke. curled on the couch, tears blurring your vision, you dialed lando. "he's just being weird, lan," you choked out, your voice thick with unshed tears. "like, distant. like i don't even exist. i can't lose him lan, i really can't. but i'll leave if he wants because i just want him to be happy. even if it means its not with me"
suddenly, the front door slammed open. you flinched, dropping the phone. oscar stood frozen, his face pale, your tear-streaked cheeks a stark picture in the dim light. he had heard everything.
"(y/n), i..." his voice cracked, a battle raging in his eyes. before he could finish, a fresh wave of tears welled up. "oscar, what did i do?"
he took a shaky step towards you, then stopped. "i am so so so so so sorry baby." the confession tumbled out, raw and laced with shame. "i regret what i did. it hurt my heart being away from you. on purpose. seeing you with lando, so close... it made me jealous."
you stared at him, bewildered. "jealous? oscar, lando's practically my brother. we grew up together!"
he ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. "i know, i know. it's stupid. but seeing you laugh with him, the laugh you kept just for me..." his voice trailed off, heavy with regret.
a choked sob escaped your lips. "oscar, you're the one i love. the way i look at lando, it's nothing compared to you." you stood up, tears falling freely.
he mirrored your movement, his face etched with pain. "i messed up, (y/n). i let my insecurities cloud everything." his voice broke. "can you forgive me?"
you threw your arms around him, burying your face in his chest. he held you tight, his body trembling.
"just promise me," you whispered, pulling back slightly, "a) you'll tell me when something bothers you and b) you'll never let jealousy come between us again."
he cupped your face, his eyes filled with newfound resolve. "never. you and lando, your friendship is beautiful. i'll never take that away." he leaned in, his kiss a promise whispered against your lips.
the following days were filled with apologies, laughter, and tentative rebuilding. oscar apologized to lando, acknowledging his insecurities. you realized communication, even the uncomfortable kind, was the key.
that sunday, as you watched oscar race, a different kind of excitement bubbled within you. it wasn't just about his victory, but the fact that you had weathered the storm, emerging stronger as a couple. the bond you shared, forged in vulnerability and love, was a trophy far more valuable than any podium finish.
🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️
well i hope you liked it! thank you for sending in your request and do send more <3 happy reading!
leave a like! leave a note!
🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️
#oscar piastri#f1 x y/n#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri angst#oscar piastri blurb#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fanfic#formula one#op81 x reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#formula 1#mclaren f1#mclaren#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula one x y/n#formula one x oc#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x oc#f1 smut#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#mclaren racing#lando norris x reader
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How do you think jjk men would court their crush? Feel free to add anyone you want but I would love to read about Choso.
OMG SO CUTE!!!! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it <3
JJK Men Courting Their Crush
A/n: okay so for this, I chose to depict most situations as their first time doing a certain courting activity with you so they’re a lil nervous and haven’t made their crush on you explicitly clear🫣 I hope that’s alright and makes sense!! And I can do a part 2 of them doing the same courtship things but with a confession, just lmk if that’s something you guys want🫶 please enjoy below!!
JJK men x gn!reader
Warnings: none
Yuji: cooking for you
“So, y/n, what do you think?”
Yuji was standing over you as you took a bite of the dish he made. Nervous energy was radiating off of him. He didn’t have much experience in the romance department but knew that usually the quickest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. He wanted to treat you to some of his favorite dishes as a way to show you that you mean a great deal to him and hopefully get to know you better over a good meal. He had prepped in the school’s kitchen all day after spending hours trying to decide which entrees you’d like the best. He thought back to the times you all went out to eat in the city and what you ordered, then thought about what recipes he knew that were similar. As he was cooking, he hoped you liked what he made enough to where he could eventually do it for you every night.
As soon as it hit your tongue, you felt the warmth of the lovingly cooked food spread through your body. You could tell he spent lots of time on this for you and you were extremely flattered that he would go out of his way to do something like this for you.
“Yuji, it’s absolutely divine. I haven’t had something this yummy in years.”
Yuji put a hand on the back of his neck, sheepish from your compliments.
“I’m really glad you liked it. I have some more recipes that I’ve been meaning to try out and you would be the perfect taste tester if you’re up for doing this often.”
Your eyes lit up. “That would be amazing! But are you sure you wouldn’t mind cooking for me that much?”
“Of course,” he said earnestly, “it’d be tons of fun. Besides, I really like hanging out with you.”
And I really like being the cause of your adorable smile! he wanted to say, but decided to save those words for another time. Chatting and laughing with you was enough for now—maybe he’d cook up enough confidence one day to tell you how he really feels about you.
Megumi: making you playlists
Megumi couldn’t stop fidgeting as he waited for you to meet up with him before class. You had mentioned that you wanted new songs to listen to so when you asked him for recommendations, he took the collecting of songs very seriously. He was never good with his words so maybe you’d get the hint that he had a crush on you from some of the songs he chose. He heard your steps coming down the hall and it was like he forgot how to stand and breathe like a normal human being. He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied a stray rock lying on the ground to look busy.
“Hey Megumi!” you greeted, making him jump slightly. He mumbled out a “hello” and immediately dug into his backpack, a CD emerging from its inky depths.
“Well, I, uh-I didn’t know if you used Spotify or YouTube or something else but I know you mentioned having a CD player so… yeah. Here.”
He thrusted the CD into your hands without meeting your eyes. The plastic case held a disc that said “Y/n’s Playlist” in sharpie.
“Thank you so much!” you said, inspecting it, “I’ll give this a listen after class. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this for me.”
“It’s nothing,” replied Megumi, running his fingers through his hair.
“Oh wait, I won’t know the song names or artists when I listen to this. Wanna come over later and help me make a track list?”
Megumi felt his face burn up with a blush. “Y-yeah. That, uh, sounds great.”
He’d definitely have to make you more playlists and keep forgetting to include that pertinent information!
Yuta: complimenting you nonstop
“Y/n! I like your shirt!”
“Y/n! Great fighting form!”
“That joke was hilarious, you’re so funny, y/n!”
These were things you were used to hearing when you were around Yuta. He was always showering you with compliments, not that you were complaining. He had a major crush on you and wanted to start letting you know that he saw, appreciated, and admired you without revealing his full feelings for now. You and your classmates were training on the field and Yuta was your sparring partner.
“Wow, you really pinned me down quick! That was amazing,” Yuta said as you extended a hand to help him up.
“You’re always so sweet, thank you,” you replied. “You were really good, though, too! I’m sure you’ll get me next time. You’re super strong.”
Yuta felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was superb at giving compliments but horrible at receiving them.
“Geez, that, umm… it means a-a lot coming from you because you’re so great. Thank you.”
“Please, I’m not that cool! You’re awesome as well,” you told him.
“Yeah, but not as awesome as you!”
It seemed that you two were stuck in a never ending cycle of compliments. After a few more rounds of back and forth, you agreed that you were both cool and strong and whatever other positives you could think of. Yuta left the field in high spirits, thinking of all the creative ways he could tell you how cute you were the next time he saw you.
Inumaki: giving you flowers
Toge stood, clippers in hand, eyeing the flowers in front of him with an intensity rarely seen from the blonde. He was trying to decide on which flowers to cut to make you a bouquet. Taking flowers for personal purposes would normally be extremely frowned upon but he was the plant caretaker and figured he could get away with snipping a few here and there. He thought back to all of your previous conversations, wracking his brain for any moments you might have mentioned a favorite all those times you walked here together. He remembered you’d said you liked them all so he really couldn’t choose wrong. When he made up his mind and clipped his picks, he smiled under his pulled up collar. He walked over to your dorm, an extra pep in his step.
“Toge! Hi!” you greeted kindly as you opened your door. His collar was now pulled down and you felt your heart swell at seeing his cursed marks curled in a happy expression. You were afraid you were about to get pranked when you saw he had his hands behind his back, but your fears were quelled when he presented you with a small bouquet of flowers.
“These are for me?” you asked, surprised.
He shook his head. “Salmon.”
“You’re the best! Thank you!”
You grabbed him into a hug, careful not to crush the flowers. He’d keep bringing you bouquets until either you got the hint that he liked you as more than a friend or he got the courage to write out his feelings.
Noritoshi: writing you letters
It was hard to make friends at the Kyoto school since your classmates were always so on edge about letting people get close, but you and Noritoshi had somehow bypassed that fear and your acquaintance turned into something deeper over the years. Unfortunately for Noritoshi, his feelings now dove even deeper than that, finding himself in the throes of a crush. Unsure of what to do, he’d tried ignoring the nagging feelings in heart every time you spoke to each other, but it never work. After much introspection and consideration, he determined that it would be wise to see if you felt the same. If you did, great. If you didn’t, he’d be released from the constant “what if’s” running through his mind. As he started putting pen to paper, he felt his confidence falter. Who pours their feelings into a letter instead of speaking face to face? Is that cowardly? He changed gears; this letter wouldn’t be of romantic intent, per se, but just of a way to get to know you better and show you he cares about what you think, how you feel, and whatever else he managed to write before his fingers failed him. When he nervously slipped the sealed paper under your dorm door a few days later, he anxiously awaited to see when you would mention it in your face to face conversation with him—you didn’t.
Imagine his surprise when he was greeted with his own letter hours later! You had expressed your delight in his letter and wanted to keep him as a consistent pen pal for the near future. Noritoshi’s hands grasped your letter, fingers tracing your words. With this new open view of each other’s hearts, your private conversations safe from prying ears, he yearned for the day he could tell you the truth of his heart before it was spilled in ink.
Todo: carrying/lifting things for you
Aoi knew you were more than capable of handling things yourself but he wanted to show you that he’d be your perfect, strong protector so he’d always offer to carry whatever you were holding, no matter how big or small. At school? He’d carry your books. Grocery shopping together? He’d lift all the heavy items in and out of the cart. Need to move your car but you’re too lazy to get up? Consider it done—he just picked it up and moved it. He hoped that by continuing to show up for you like this, you’d see how much he really likes you. Of course, he wouldn’t be afraid of speaking to you about his crush on you, but he would rather go out of his way to impress you first before stating his obvious attraction to you.
“Y/n! Let me get that for you!”
Your dorm room door was propped open and Aoi had shown up, seemingly out of nowhere, when you were struggling to move some furniture around in your room. He lifted the couch with ease and shot you an award winning grin and wink.
“Just tell me where you want it.”
You pointed to a spot near the window and he put the couch down gracefully, barely making a sound.
“Anything else I can help with?” he asked eagerly. He’d rearrange the layout of the entire school if you asked him to—anything to make you happy!
Gojo: buying you gifts
Satoru was not the type to outright tell someone he had a crush on them. You know, the whole “love is the greatest curse of all” thing? He’d much rather ignore those feelings in hopes of them disappearing. So when he found himself fawning over you nonstop, he didn’t know the right way to convey his desire to connect with you on a deeper level. He might’ve been running on empty in regard to romantic skills, but his bank account was severely overflowing. He began to take mental notes on everything you looked at and put back while in Tokyo during your shopping trips and visited those places to buy all of it on his own.
“I got this for you.”
Satoru had several bags by their handles that he gently nudged toward you. Confused, you opened them, greeted by multiple items that you had taken notice of but didn’t have the funds to purchase. You didn’t remember Satoru even being there when you were browsing them in the first place.
“Satoru, how did you-”
“I pay attention more than people think,” he shrugged, glad to have his blindfold covering his eyes so you couldn’t see how they softened when they met yours.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” you said, trying not to cry tears of happiness.
He chuckled. “I know. You deserve nice things, though. If you can’t treat yourself, then allow me to.”
He was glad he turned infinity off to feel your arms wrap around his in a tight hug. Even if the words evaded him at the moment, he’d be sure to keep showing how much he cares for you by giving you things to remember him by.
Geto: taking you to the farmer’s market
“Come, y/n, I have a fun morning planned for us.”
Suguru had texted you and invited you to the local farmer’s market. You, of course, accepted readily, and now that he was here to pick you up, he was starting to feel a little nervous. Your friendship was a wonderful thing but Suguru craved to get to know you better and see if you shared the same romantic affections he was feeling toward you. He figured that going somewhere low key like a farmer’s market would be great to cultivate easy conversations. As you two walked together, admiring the handiwork of the local artists, you shivered from a cold breeze that kicked up. Suguru was quick to remove his outer layer and drape it over your shoulders.
“Oh, Suguru, I don’t want you to get cold.”
“I’m alright, I promise. I’d rather be a little chilly than see you freeze on my behalf. May I buy you a warm drink as well?”
After that, you were nice and toasty and he glad he could help in any way he could. When the market was closed and you two walked back home, you decided to make a visit here an every week occurrence. Suguru was sure that in a few weeks’ time, he’d prove to you that he’d be a great partner.
Nanami: cooking with you
Kento wasn’t sure how to approach the topic of his romantic feelings toward you. He valued straightforward communication, but he couldn’t find it within himself to outright express his desires for romance right now. Instead, he opted to show you he cared by inviting you over to cook a meal together. He had asked you to pick a recipe and went shopping for all the ingredients. Now that you were finally over at his place, he felt his palms getting sweaty as saw you chopping vegetables, looking extremely cute while doing so. You gave him a sweet smile when you noticed him staring and he quickly looked away, a blush apparent on his cheeks. You dropped the veggies into the hot pan and he started cooking them. You two worked well together, never in each other’s ways and able to partake in conversation while keeping the task at hand. When dinner was ready, you were ecstatic that everything tasted delicious.
“Is it alright if I ask you to join me again sometime soon?” Kento asked.
“I would love nothing more,” you replied sweetly, his stomach now teeming with butterflies.
Choso: stargazing with you
Choso had zero experience with any type of romantic love. He was the expert in familial loyalty, a prime example of being a great big brother, but being a boyfriend? Not his forte. However, his desire to woo you outweighed his nerves so that’s what led him to call you and tell you to meet him outside one night. He read online that looking at the stars is a good way to induce romance and he was determined to prove to you that he’d be a worthy partner. You were taken aback when you saw he had set up blankets on the ground and put out picnic baskets of snacks. He had even wrapped you up in another blanket so you didn’t get cold! Once you were settled, you both chatted about anything and everything as you gazed at the wonders of the night sky.
“Choso! A shooting star, quick, make a wish!”
It was quiet for some time.
“What’d you wish for?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“I’m not supposed to say or else it won’t come true,” you teased, nudging his arm. “What about you?”
He was studying the sky before he looked back at you. “I wished to keep having the privilege of sitting here with you as many days as I can.”
You felt yourself go shy at his confession but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. After that, you had plans in place to meet up again in a few days to do it all over. Choso was hoping that his next wish would also come true—that he’d be confident enough to bring the true feelings of his heart to light.
Toji: inviting you to local music shows
There was nothing better to Toji than a cheap activity, an attractive person by his side, and the promise of alcohol. That’s what led him to extend an invitation to you to join him at a small concert being held by a band you both liked. When you met him outside the run down venue, Toji felt his heart rate pick up as he saw how good you looked. His calm and collected demeanor didn’t change a bit, though, as he lazily threw an arm over your shoulder and walked with you inside.
“This place is super cool, Toji,” you said, taking in your surroundings.
He smirked. “I knew you’d like it. Wanna get something to drink?”
Toji wasn’t known for having tons of money but he liked you enough to pay for the first round of your drinks. As the band finished setting up their equipment and started playing their first song, you had a blast dancing along while he kept stealing glances at you between sips of his drink, relieved that you were having fun. You were able to convince him to dance with you after a few more drinks (not that the drinks affected his decision making—he just couldn’t deny a request from someone as hot as you). As the night wound down and he walked you home, he felt an excitement spark in his heart that he hadn’t known in a long time. He hoped that one day he’d stop being a coward and tell you he really liked you, but for now, he’d be content just holding you in his arms—and definitely keeping an eye out for flyers with information for the next show.
#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader fluff#jjk x gender neutral reader#yuji itadori x reader#megumi x reader#yuta x reader#inumaki toge x reader#noritoshi x reader#aoi todo x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#choso x reader#nanami x reader#toji x reader
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Douchebag Falls Short in This Case (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Part 1: If Anything I Find it Educative
Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.
Summary: Spencer and Reader can’t have their scheduled lunch, but they keep talking by phone and texts. After Spencer returns from a case, they can see each other again. If Spencer hadn’t been mesmerized with Reader, now he is, and maybe is more than that.
Word Count: 5.8k
Warnings: Some strong words. Description of Road Rage Disorder. Talking about bad experiences at high school (nothing explicit). Emily is the best older sister to Spencer.
A/N: The prospect of them having a date was too tempting not to do it. This one is part 3 of “If Anything I Find It Educative” (Part 2 of “It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t”). Let me know your thoughts!!! I’m here to read you guys.
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Spencer's POV
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Me: Are you free on Saturday at midday? We could go to lunch. Let me know. Good night. S.R.
Heimlich Master: Yeah. Lunch sounds great. Let's talk about the details later. Good night :)
My face hurts from the big smile I sport right now. Smile that doesn't fade once I get to my apartment.
How did I manage to text her right away? I would never know, but I thank that moment of confidence.
Now I can't wait to see her again on Saturday.
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I should have known making plans wouldn't work for me. It's Friday afternoon, and I'm on the jet about to take off for a case in Los Angeles.
There goes my lunch with (Y/N).
I grab my phone to type a text to let her know.
Between last night and today, we have been texting back and forth about what time on Saturday works for us and whether I had a place in mind. I did, but I told her it was a surprise.
Now I must cancel, and I can't stress enough my disappointment.
Me: Hey. I'm so sorry, but I'm leaving for a case in L.A. Can we reschedule our lunch? Please don't hate me.
Heimlich Master: Oh, it's okay. Don't worry; of course, we can reschedule.
Heimlich Master: Let me know when you come back. And don't be silly; I don't hate you.
Heimlich Master: Can I ask you for something, though?
Me: Sure. Anything.
Heimlich Master: Can you prevent Morgan from kick-down doors this time? The bureau budget would appreciate it.
I can't contain the snort that leaves my lips, gaining Emily's attention. Bad luck of mine; she is in a seat just in front of me.
Me: I'll do my best. Promise.
Heimlich Master: Thank you. Have a safe flight :)
Me: Thanks :)
Look at me! Even using emojis.
Penelope would be proud of me.
I set my phone on the table to exchange it for the book I chose for this flight. Emily's voice stops me before I can do that.
"So, are you going to tell me why you are so smiling?"
And here we go.
"Me?" I lift my eyes to Emily, who has a smirk on her face. I hate that she already knows what's happening, not even knowing what's happening.
"Sure, genius. I don't see anyone else here so amused and focused on his texts. Not to mention the grin that could illuminate the whole D.C."
"No, I'm not!" I defend—a poor attempt to keep the transparency of my face at bay. Emily scoffs, and that's all it takes to know she doesn't believe me.
"I understand you don't like to talk about your personal life. I get it. And I won't bug you as Morgan would, yet knowing it is related to your love life. But don't try to fool me. It's insulting," she says, the last part faking hurt. That makes me chuckle.
"That being said, I just want you to know I'm here if you need to talk. It's not always good to keep things to yourself."
Not waiting for my response, she picks up the folder with the current case details to read.
I have known Emily for a few years now, and even if we didn't start on the right foot - entirely my fault - she's proven very supportive. Gosh, once she endured a whole beating from an unsub only to keep me safe.
Beyond that, she knows how to talk to me without treating me like a kid. Sometimes, I can't say the same about the rest. Of course, I don't blame them; they've always seen me as the team's baby, but I appreciate Emily doesn't.
"That's the thing. This," I point my gaze where my phone is. "I don't know what it is," I sigh. Emily's eyes are back to me. She sees how confused I am.
"What do you think it is then?"
I don't want to betray (Y/N) 's trust by spilling details about her life, so the specifics of our talks are out of the table.
"I can't deny there is a connection between us. We only met twice—both by chance. But they led us to talk for hours. And I ask myself, am I reading this wrong, and she only sees me like a, I don't know, potential friend?"
"Why would she? She told you she was only looking for a friend?" Emily asks, her hands resting lightly over the folder on her lap.
"No, she didn't. It's a deduction of mine, though. I mean, she recently ended a relationship —a very serious one."
Just remembering the reason that led to that breakup makes me sick.
"Okay. That could be a thing, but not necessarily. Maybe things ended precisely because she wanted something different. That's not bad," Emily hypothesizes. I shake my head.
"I'm not so sure. Let's say she wouldn't have ended the relationship until something big happened. Big enough for her to realize the guy was a total -"I trail off. What would be the right word?
"A douchebag?" Emily offers.
"I think douchebag falls short in this case," I point out. Emily's eyes widen.
"That bad, uh?" I nod.
"She is vulnerable right now, and I don't want to take advantage of that. But at the same time, I want a chance with her. Am I a bad person?"
"What? No! Spencer, don't say that," Emily rushes to stop my spiral. "Far from that. You are considerate enough to see she's in a complicated situation. Most of the men don't even care about that. Cut her some slack, though. She is a grown-up woman, and if she wants to get to know you, why not let her? If she hasn't already, I bet she will see the great man you are. And not only as a friend."
My eyebrows furrow.
"Do you think so?"
"Sure. And for how you describe her, I don't think she is the type to play with people's feelings. Although, I strongly recommend being honest with her. That will prevent false expectations."
I take in Emily's words, and they make perfect sense.
"Thank you, Emily. I didn't think about it like that," I
muse. "Can you do me a favor, though?"
She nods, anticipating what I'm going to say.
"I know. Not a word to anyone. Got it," Emily confirms with a reassuring smile.
---
The heat in Los Angeles for the last three days has been overpowering. Just as catching this unsub has become extremely frustrating.
I'm in the meeting room they lent us to work in, reviewing the details of the case over and over again. The rest of the team is outside the precinct following our latest leads.
My head started to hurt, and I had to close my eyes for a moment.
As I focus on breathing, my phone pings. I open my eyes and see a text from (Y/N).
Heimlich Master: How are you? I read that L.A. has a heat wave; I hope it's not hitting you too hard.
I can't help the smile that pushes the corners of my lips upward.
Me: I'd like to say it's not affecting me, but I don't want to lie. I will survive, though. Please tell me how nice the weather is in D.C., and I'll aim to finish this case as soon as possible.
Heimlich Master: I thought our lunch was enough incentive for you to do that. Now I feel bad.
Oh, fuck. What did I do? Of course, it's an incentive for me. It is THE incentive, actually. I have been thinking about that since Friday when I came here. Now she's assuming I don't care.
How can you be such an idiot, Spencer?
I must fix this immediately, so I hit the call button—a confused (Y/N) answers on the other end.
"Spencer?"
"Hey. I - uh. I decided to call because I needed to explain myself. Please, don't feel bad. Of course, I want our lunch to happen. I wasn't saying it like if I don't. I mean, the heat is fucking insane here, but it's not-"
"Spencer, hey, don't-" she tries to make me stop. Still, I am so determined to say everything necessary to explain myself that I continue my rant.
"What I'm trying to say is-"
"Spencer, wait!" (Y/N)’s firmer voice halts me in my failed attempt at an apology. It's sufficient enough for me to shut up.
"Sorry. What were you about to say?"
"I'm sorry for stopping you, but it sounded like you would run out of air and pass out. Now I feel awful because the last thing I wrote was only to mess with you. I didn't want you to feel like I was accusing you of something, much less that you owed me an apology."
"Oh," I mumble, now making sense of the whole exchange. My cheeks heat up realizing I went from 0 to 100 in seconds. (Y/N)'s voice sounds anxious now.
"Please, forgive me if I worried you that way. That's why I hate texts; I can't control my teasing tone as I do when I talk to someone."
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I don't want (Y/N) to think she did anything wrong, though.
"No, don't say that. I'm not good at - literally - reading social cues. I should have noticed. I just need some practice," I chuckle. I can hear a chuckle on the other end, too.
"Well, since we already cleared up our first miscommunication problem. How are you?"
That sentence shouldn't make my heart skip a beat, but it does.
Get your shit together, Spencer.
"With the heat and the lack of progress in the case, it is a bit frustrating. But we'll make it. How about you?"
"Good, actually. Not the load of paperwork I had last week, and my boss just asked me to prepare a lecture for the trainees in forensic accounting."
"Wow, that's amazing!" I chirp, excited.
"I'm a bit nervous, though. But I'll live," (Y/N) sighs.
"You'll do it great. I didn't know you were into teaching," I muse, remembering our prior conversations.
"I didn't, either. But I've had some previous experiences, and they have been okay. So, the case? That bad, uh?"
That brings me back to L.A. and the case. I was very comfy with my mind in (Y/N).
"He's taunting us. I mean, the police force. But we have a strong profile. One more piece, and we have him," I assure, trying to be convincing enough.
"You guys know what you're doing. You'll catch him, Spencer." (Y/N) sounds like she has no doubt. It fills my heart with warmth because although she doesn't have to put that amount of trust in me, she does it anyway.
"Reid?" I turn to see Morgan and J.J. walking into the room. She hears it, too.
"They need you. You have to return to work," (Y/N) concludes. I let out a sigh.
"Yeah. I have to go," I mumble apologeticly.
"Of course, you're working. It’s okay," she affirms with understanding.
"I'll let you know when I'm done here. Take care, okay?" I whisper into the receiver.
"I will. You too, be safe. Bye."
I can see Morgan's smirk and JJ’s curious look when I hang up.
I know they're dying to ask me questions, but now is not the time, and I don't want to either. So before any words come from their mouths, I hasten to speak.
"Did you find anything? I was examining what we have so far, and I think we are missing something. Look at this," I tell them, pointing to the scattered photos on the table. They look at each other and hesitate to interrupt me or play along. Thank goodness they opt for the latter.
---
Me: Did you know L.A. has an abandoned underground tunnel network? If they are put together, it will stretch out 17 kilometers. They exist due to the Prohibition. When alcohol was banned in L.A. in early 1920, 35,000 gallons of wine were poured into its sewers. But, far from eradicating booze, prohibition pushed its use underground, literally.
Heimlich Master: Wow. I didn't know that. But I'm afraid to ask why are you telling me this. Are you trapped in one of those tunnels, and this is a call for help? [see attached photo]
Me: Ha Ha Ha. Let's say I've been studying those tunnels all day. Good thing we have Morgan and Prentiss to do the dirty job, though.
It's my fifth night in Los Angeles, and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The only things that have kept me at least in a decent mood are the texts and short calls I have shared with (Y/N). I've never been very fond of using technology, including my cell phone, but thanks to (Y/N), I haven't even questioned it.
We've been sharing fun facts and memes. If you had asked me a week ago what a meme was, I wouldn't have known what to answer. The word was familiar to me thanks to Garcia, who often mentions them, but now I can say that I know more about them than I would have expected to. (Y/N) is a regular, and I can understand more of her sense of humor because of that. She especially loves the ones with a philosopher dinosaur and those where a woman yells at a cat.
Heimlich Master: How is the case going?
I'm about to reply when hard knocks shake my hotel room door. I hear Morgan's voice on the other side. "Reid! There is a break in the case! Move your ass right now!" Before leaving the room, I texted (Y/N).
Me: Hoping to wrap it up tonight.
Two hours later, we have the unsub in custody, not before running into a frantic chase for L.A. streets. Now, completely wasted, we are packing our things to return home. Usually, when we wrap cases at this hour, we stay until the next morning and then take off. But everyone is so drained that Hotch called to the tarmac saying we’re flying back tonight.
Being already on the jet, I feel like writing to (Y/N), but it doesn't seem appropriate, considering it's 2 in the morning. I refrain and try to catch some sleep, knowing exactly what I want to do first when we touch down in Virginia.
---
It’s the first time I've put foot on the third floor of the Quantico Headquarters. It doesn’t look too different from the others I do know. A bunch of people walking in and out, agents perched at their desks, deep in folders or computers. Phones are ringing, and the sound of copy machines is unmistakable.
But none of that matters right now. I have a mission to accomplish.
After navigating between several desks, I find the one I’m looking for.
“Good morning, agent (Y/L/N).”
At the sound of my voice, (Y/N)’s head whips up.
“Hey! When did you come back?” she asks, seeming confused. The last time we spoke was last night before the unsub takedown, so for her, I still could be in LA.
I check my watch. “One hour and fifteen minutes ago.”
“I hope you slept on the jet.”
“I did. A bit.”
I won’t tell her how I barely closed my eyes, excited about returning to Virginia.
“So, to what do I owe the honor of having you here, Dr. Reid?”
“A crucial matter that can’t wait.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh-hu. I have an announcement and a question for you.”
“Oh yeah? Okay, shoot.”
“Morgan didn't kick down any doors during this case.”
(Y/N) snort a laugh. What a beautiful view it is to see her laugh.
“It's what I needed to start my day with the right foot.”
“You're welcome.”
“Okay, that was the announcement. And the question?”
“Yeah, about that. What do you say if we switch our failed lunch last Saturday for having dinner tonight?”
(Y/N)’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Tonight? Are you sure? You just came back.”
She’s inspecting my face, looking for certainty. I nod solemnly.
“Yeah, tonight. Unless you already have plans. If that’s the case, it’s okay. We can do something another day.”
After pondering my offer for a second, a smile creeps in (Y/N)’s face.
“You’re a lucky guy. Did you know that?”
Is it too much to say I’m feeling a lucky guy since I met her?
“I’m realizing now. Pick you up at seven, then. Is that okay?”
“Perfect. I’ll text you my full address.”
After saying our goodbyes, I take the elevator back to BAU. As the doors open at the sixth, I go face-to-face with Garcia.
“Oh, there you are! Everyone was looking for you to start the debriefing. Where were you anyways?” Penelope says, worried about my whereabouts.
Shit. I forgot Hotch wanted to do that quickly so we could finally get over this case.
“Uh. I had to use the bathroom.” I try to sound normal to avoid making a big deal.
“On another floor?” She asks, visibly confused.
Sometimes, my IQ gets lost in my odd way of doing synapses.
What the fuck I was thinking when I said that?
“Did you know the men’s bathroom paper toilet in the seventh is better quality than here?”
Oh, Spencer Reid, please stop.
“Really? I always knew they had more privileges than us. But the paper toilet? It’s infuriating,” Garcia huffs. And I know doing this is not very kind of me, but I promise to explain to her. Not now, though.
“Uh. I’m going to the conference room now. The others are waiting,” I announce, and Garcia nods, ushering me there.
“Yes. Go, go!”
Aside from the looks of 'Where the hell were you?' no one commented on me being late. Once we debrief, Hotch officially closes the case, instructing us to finish the paperwork and head home at lunchtime, which is perfect for my plans. It gives me enough time to prepare for dinner with (Y/N).
I know I look like a teenager, but I don't care.
Around three in the afternoon, I am already in my apartment and have made a restaurant reservation.
I decided to take a quick nap, although I didn't know how much sleep I would get given my nerves. It's not that being with (Y/N) makes me anxious per se; It's the anticipation of being with her.
Maybe I'm expecting too much from this date.
Shit. 'This date' Is this actually a date?
I feel like it is, but for (Y/N), will it be the same?
I invited her to dinner but never told her it was a date. Derek would tell me it is, but I don't want to assume.
Now is when Emily's words ring in my ears: 'Be honest with her to avoid false expectations.'
With her words in mind and the tiredness from the last days catching up with me, slumber finds me after a while.
---
It’s seven pm sharp, and I’m knocking on (Y/N)’s door. I can hear some rustling from inside before the doors open, revealing her frame greeting me with a smile.
“Hey! Just in time!”
“H- hi,” I say, almost breathless after taking in her appearance.
It's true that the first time I saw (Y/N), she was dressed to the nines. It's also true that when I saw her on the terrace that night, I couldn't help but think how beautiful and captivating she was.
The next time was at Quantico. She wore a classic and elegant office outfit, with black formal trousers, a white silk blouse, and a fitted maroon jacket. The image of all the confidence and resolve I bet she has at the job.
But now? My jaw shamelessly drops.
She's wearing a sleek, form-fitting black dress that accentuates her curves and black heels that elongate her legs. A beautiful cardigan wraps elegantly in her upper half. Her hair is styled in loose waves cascading over her shoulders, and she's accessorized with long silver earrings and the same necklace with the compass I saw on her the first time. She looks sophisticated, alluring, and just perfect.
“Let me get my purse, and we can go, okay?” (Y/N) says, jutting her thumb to the inside.
“Su- yeah, sure.”
Great. I’m a stuttering mess.
The drive to the restaurant is filled with light conversation. I talked about the last heatwave in Los Angeles, and she annoyed me by telling me about the rain in Virginia last week.
Now I ask (Y/N) if she has a car. It happens that she owns a car but doesn't like to drive.
“I just discovered years ago I don't like it. But I kept the car only for emergencies, which is stupid if I think of it,” she prefaces.
“Why?” I ask, stealing a glance at her.
“Because now all emergencies I can think of entail myself incapable of driving.”
Her laugh fills the car now, and I can’t help but join her.
“Okay, okay. But really, why you don’t like it?” I ask when our laughing fades. (Y/N) clears her throat.
“Uh - are you familiar with the term road rage?”
I nod, not peeling my gaze from the streets ahead.
“Yes, I do. Colloquially known as ‘angry driver disorder,’ it is aggressive or angry behavior exhibited by motorists. These behaviors include rude and verbal insults, yelling, physical threats, or dangerous driving methods targeted at other drivers, pedestrians, or cyclists to intimidate or release frustration.”
A sigh escapes (Y/N)’s lips. “Yeah. That.”
Using the chance a red light gives me, I look at her with an eyebrow furrowed.
“So, do you have RRD?”
She averts my gaze, focusing on the windshield instead.
“I thought I had it. At first, I didn’t give it any importance. I said it was just me trying to adjust to the jungle. Who hasn’t yelled as driving? But there were times when I freaked out of myself and feared doing something more than screeching or honking like crazy. So, I stopped driving for a while. I did my research and learned techniques to get it under control. But since then, I never enjoyed it again.”
A nervous giggle escapes from (Y/N)’s lips.
“Jesus, you are going to think I’m a society threat.”
I shake my head without a second thought.
“Of course, you are not. Furthermore, I find it admirable that you realized it was unhealthy and took action before living a worse experience.”
I see a blush creeping (Y/N)’s cheeks from the corner of my eye.
Not five minutes later, we are at the restaurant parking lot.
Descending from the vehicle, I hurry to (Y/N)’s door and open it for her. Once she is out of the car, I offer my arm so she can lace hers with it.
The hostess greets us at the entrance, and once he checks our reservation, he leads us to our table.
It's the first time I’m here. I chose it because Rossi once said it was perfect for a date.
Again. A date. Something I still don't know if apply here.
A waitress approaches us as soon as we sit, handing us two menus.
“Miss, sir. I’m Emma, and I’ll be at your service this evening. Can I offer something to drink?”
After Emma leaves us with our orders, (Y/N) turns to me.
“Spencer, this place is amazing.”
And she is right. The soft lighting from the small lamps creates a warm atmosphere. The decor includes cozy tables spaced apart for privacy, with comfortable seating and plush cushions. Soft and muted deep reds and browns fill the interior, with classy artwork on the walls. It's really nice.
But above all, the company makes it even better.
Our conversation flows as easily as in the car. It's so comfortable as we have known each other for a long time. And we just met less than two weeks ago.
“Okay, let me get this straight. So you are from Vegas and couldn't bear the L.A. heatwave?”
“I have lived in DC for almost eight years, so I adapted better to this climate.” I shrug and (Y/N) hums.
“You don't get to go there that much? I mean, do you have family there?”
“Just my mom. And no, I don’t see her very often,” I confess—a tint of guilt in my voice.
I see (Y/N)’s face, and I know she wants to ask, but she is respectful enough not to. Not everyone is.
“I’m an only child. And my dad left us when after my tenth birthday. With no siblings, it is only my mom and me. But even if I don't see her often, I write her letter daily.”
I look at her again, expecting the same face everyone gives me when I talk about my family, the one that screams pity. But no, if (Y/N)’s face screams anything, it’s understanding.
“Old school, uh? I’m sure your mom loves your letters,” she says, sipping her glass of wine. I nod,
telling (Y/N) more about my letters to my mom and how detailed she likes me to write them.
“And I think it helped us not to break the bond.” I shrug, taking a bit from the fork. “What about you? Did you say you are not from DC?”
“No. I’m not. I’m from Minneapolis. My parents settled there at a very young age. They were born in the South. I have two siblings: an older sister and a younger brother. My parents are still in Minneapolis, and my brother is, but he lives with his boyfriend now. My sister left for Chicago when she married her fiancee years ago.”
“Do you see them often?”
(Y/N) shakes her head.
“Not quite. Just in holidays or major events. But we call each other often. I always know what happens there, and they know what happens to me here.”
(Y/N) tells me she is not that close with her sister, though. Since she started dating his current husband, they distanced. And that only worsened when (Y/N) moved to DC.
“I’m sorry. That must have hurt.” I don’t know what having a sibling is, but I see in her eyes that she is not okay with how things turned between them.
“Yeah. But neither of us has done something about it. And here is where I need to clarify that stubbornness runs in my family,” she chuckles.
I pull a face, faking surprise. “Yeah, that’s so you can realize who you're dealing with,” she says, pointing her fork at me.
Our conversation bounces from topic to topic until we land on the school phase.
I tell her about what it's like to be a child prodigy in a public school in Las Vegas. The bad things and the not-so-bad ones, because believe it or not, I can see something positive from that time at this point in my life.
“Clearly, I didn't have it as difficult as you, but I am sure we all felt out of place at some point during that time,” she muses, cutting a piece of her dessert with the spoon.
“Did you?”
She lets out a chuckle. “Let's say I haven't been very ‘typical’ in my life, especially in high school. I mean, if following a stereotype was required, mine was quite different from the other girls my age.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “How is so?”
“Well, while my friends dreamed about having a Mr. Darcy-Elizabeth kind of love, I found Heathcliff and Kathy's relationship more appealing,” she stops from her explanation with a snort escaping her lips. “Ha! I should have known it would be a problem later.”
Why do I think other people would know what she is talking about while I don't?
Of course, she sees the confusion written all over my face.
“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” I pull a face, shaking my head.
“At risk of being disrespectful, uh, no. I don't.”
“Don’t worry. You don't have to, I guess. But if you read Wuthering Heights someday, you will know.”
I will—first thing in the morning.
“But the main idea is that I never expected life would be something close to a fairy tale, you know? I just didn't believe it, and my friends hated that of me.”
Jerks.
It's fair to say that we are so caught up in chatting that we don’t realize we are the only ones left in the restaurant. We do when Emma approaches to ask if we need anything.
After paying the check, we left the restaurant and headed to my car. The ride is mainly silent this time. I don’t want this night to end, and I think (Y/N) doesn't either because of how she bites her lower lip with her eyes trained on the road ahead.
We begin a light conversation for a few minutes after arriving at her building. With the car in parking, I reach her side of the vehicle to open the door for her. I offer her my hand, and she takes it, giving me a warm smile.
“I'll walk you to the door.” She nods softly, “Okay.”
The three floors to her apartment are pure agony in my head. I want to be honest with her, but I also don't want to scare her into thinking I'm a creep or whatever. If she notices my internal dilemma, she doesn't mention it. We reach her door, and (Y/N) takes her keys from her purse. I don't trust my hands and keep them in my pockets as she opens the door. She turns to face me now.
“Thank you, Spencer. I had a great time tonight.”
I see it in her eyes. She is genuine. And my heart skips a bit.
“Me too. Thanks for accepting my invitation.”
My hands feel clammy, so I take them out of my pocket and dry them discreetly on my clothes.
“Of course.”
We remain silent without taking our eyes off each other. Emily's words reverberate, and I know what I must do.
Okay. Here we go.
“Can I - can I ask you something?”
I wish I could speak without stumbling over my words.
“Sure.”
“Would you say that tonight, that is, our dinner - would you say it was a date? I mean, would you classify this as a date?”
(Y/N)’s eyes are trained on me as if trying to follow my train of thought.
“A date? Why wouldn’t I?”
She is still careful but curious about where I’m going with all of this.
“It's just that I never said it was a date when I talked about dinner.”
“So, you didn’t want it as a date?” (Y/N) asks for clarification, and I feel like the stupidest human being on earth.
“No! I did. I do. It's just - I thought you maybe thought of it like something different?”
She narrows her eyes at me. This is not working. I take a deep breath before starting over.
“The thing is, I don’t know if I’m reading this wrong. From the times we have seen each other and what we have talked about in these two weeks, I feel that there is something that feels so good between us, and I wonder if maybe you don't feel it or if you see it as something similar to a friendship. I know things in that part of your life have been messy lately, and I would understand if you wouldn't want anything to do with me, but I can't stop thinking-“
My rant is halted when I notice (Y/N)’s palm caressing my cheek. There is a glimmer in her eyes that makes my heart stop.
“Spencer. You are not reading this wrong. I feel the same way you described it as ‘right,’ even if I’m unsure what it is exactly.”
I let out a dramatic sigh I didn't know I was holding. That makes (Y/N) giggle. I join her with a chuckle myself.
As the giggle subsides, I hold her hand and place it over my chest near my heart. My other hand softly tilts her chin so I can look into her eyes.
“You are amazing; did you know that?” I whisper, and her breath hitched. I flick my gaze between her eyes and her lips. She does the same. And that's what I needed to get the courage and lean in. Slowly, the distance between us gets short, and I swear my heart is going to burst out of my chest. I can feel her breath fanning my face as her eyes flutter close.
And then, our lips met for the first time.
It's slow, and I can taste the sweetness of her lips.
I've never felt something like this kissing someone before, but now that I know what it's like, I never want to stop feeling it.
Her hands go up my shoulders, seeking a grip on the hair at the back of my neck. My hands fly to her hips to pull her closer to me as our kiss deepens. I sweep my tongue over her lower lip, and she parts them to grant me access. One of my hands leaves her hip to cup her face to get a better angle for continuing our kiss. Her arms tighten around my neck, pulling me impossibly closer.
I don’t want it to end, but the need for air is too much. After breaking the kiss, we are both panting with our faces flushed and lips swollen.
“Wow.”
“Jesus.”
We breathe out at the same time, followed by a fit of giggles.
Her laugh is definitely my new favorite sound on Earth.
I cup her cheeks and lean again to steal a quick kiss from her lips, and when I’m about to part again, she tightens her grip on my suit jacket lapels and brings me to her lips again.
After two or three more kisses, we lose the hold of our hands off each other, with a wide grin spread on our faces.
“I think we already give my neighbors enough of a show for tonight,” (Y/N) points out, biting her lower lip and peeking at both sides of the hall behind me.
“Yeah,” I mumble as I stroke her cheek, gaze focused on her eyes. “I should get going.” (Y/N) nods. “Text me when you are home?”
“I will.”
After another quick kiss, I muster the will to say goodbye. Wishing me goodnight, (Y/N) enters the apartment and closes the door. I linger there for a few seconds, excited like a child after the best day of his life.
I feel like it is.
Right now? I'm beyond grateful to Hotch for making me attend that stupid gala.
------------------
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K i l l i n g M e S o f t l y
Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader
Summary: It's hard to compete with a ghost. Especially when that ghost was Toji Fushiguro's wife.
Wrd Ct: 20k
tags: angstyyy, established relationship, complicated relationships, non curse au, vaginal sex, missionary, wall sex (?), oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink, DILF Toji, grief/mourning, Toji is trying to be a good dad to Megumi, Toji has a praise kink, mentions of mamagumi, open ending
Part One, Part Two
Part Two
You managed to speak a grand total of five words from the time you got into bed with Toji to the moment you all sat in the car to watch Megumi board the train. Good night, good morning, and thanks. He wasn’t going to take more than he was given, but the way you even avoided his gaze was really getting under his skin. Both of his hands were glued to the steering wheel as he drove, and the music playing from the radio was the only thing to break the heavy silence in the car.
When you all arrived at the station, you held Megumi in your arms, giving him a tight hug. “Don’t be a stranger, alright? Please take care of yourself. And take your vitamins!”
Megumi laughed. “I’m still going to visit on the weekends.”
“I guess that’s true. I’m impressed that you go to a top school but it sucks that you have to live there. I was hoping to push off this experience until you got to college,” you sniffed. Megumi gave you one of his signature soft smiles.
“I’ll call you, I promise.”
“Thanks, Megs, but also, have fun. I’m not trying to smother you.”
Behind you and Megumi was Toji who watched you talk. Megumi caught his gaze over your shoulder. Toji gave you both enough space that you weren’t within earshot so Megumi could speak freely.
“I know it’s not really my place to talk about it…. but my dad really likes you. And I like having you around too. Please don’t give up on him yet.”
Megumi eyed his father again who was fiddling with the handle of his suitcase, trying his best to look unbothered. Toji has a lot of faults, yes, but Megumi could tell that he was trying. Megumi hated to think that a good thing for his dad was going to end so soon.
“I’m trying to be more understanding,” you said honestly. You turned your head to the side, looking at Toji out of the corner of your eye. “And I love your dad. You don’t have to worry about us, okay?”
You patted Megumi’s head and Toji finally came up behind you, giving his son an awkward pat down that was supposed to be a hug.
“Study hard. Remember how I taught you how to hold a knife and how to use it. Don’t stay out too late.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
You snorted at the short exchange, and you and Toji both watched Megumi get on board. You waved until the boy was too small to see through the window, then stood quietly together.
“I need to visit my friend later today. I’ll probably stay over there tonight.”
Toji raised his brow at you. You were really determined to stay away from him.
“This is the first time you mentioned this.”
You shrugged your shoulders and started to make your way back to the car. “I can’t predict when her ain’t-shit boyfriend is going to break her heart.”
Toji frowned. It didn’t have to be a double meaning, but he felt like it was. “Do you want me to drop you off?”
“Hmm, no thanks. If anything happens while I’m over there I’d like to have my own car.”
“Right… Anything else?”
You stood in front of the car door he opened for you. With your eyebrows drawn together you shook your head. “Are you expecting anything else?��
“No. Let’s go.”
Halfway back home you took Toji’s hand just to hold. You didn’t say anything, and he didn’t ask any questions, but when you laced each of your fingers in between his heart calmed down. He brought the back of your hand up to give it a kiss. Toji was getting into his own head. Maybe you weren’t trying to avoid him. He still had the chance to fix this.
When you got home you went right to packing your bag for your overnight stay. Toji watched you at the doorway, his arms crossed and his frown deepening. Not that he didn’t care for your friend but fuck did she have the worst timing. You folded over one of his hoodies to put in a duffle bag and he walked up behind you, carefully holding your waist to not break the delicate beads that you wore, and rested his head on your shoulder. You took a shower in the morning but he could still smell the shea butter scents on your skin. He took a deep breath in and sighed. You continued to fold clothes into your bag, trying to ignore his wandering hands that had your breath catching.
“What am I going to do with you gone?”
“I’m sure you’ll find some home project that needs improving,” you snorted.
“I’ll miss you. I mean it.”
You turned around to meet Toji’s eyes and wrapped your arms behind his neck. He gripped you even tighter, your back curving to his touch. He wondered if you could hear how fast his heart was beating in his chest. The idea of you staying mad at him before you left was eating him up and he needed the reassurance that you two were okay.
“Want me to cook something for you before I leave? I can make your favorite.”
Instead of answering, Toji hovered his mouth over yours. The tip of his nose brushed your cheeks, deciding on which side he should tilt his head. With parted lips you both shared the same air, silently waiting for the other to take the first step.
“Can I kiss you?”
You released a breathy laugh. “Since when did you start asking?” He held your chin with his thumb, and he dipped your head back to cover your lips with his. With a familiar hunger he gently pushed you on the bed, fumbling to get your bag on the floor without spilling all the contents inside.
“Toji–” you mumbled into his mouth, trying to clear the fog that was in your head. You weren’t mad, not as much as you were in the morning at least, but this still wasn’t the best idea. Not without having a serious conversation.
However, talking could wait after he was done working his tongue on you.
Toji left red hot trails down your body, littering your neck and chest until he got disrupted by your clothes. He took off your top with ease, taking time to admire your bronzy skin before resuming his worship. He lapped at one nipple and rolled the other with his thumb and forefinger until you were squirming beneath him, just to switch off and continue the tortuous process. Toji didn’t stop until you were panting. You grabbed a handful of his hair to pull him off your breast to smash your lips on his mouth.
You directed his hand to cup your sex, grinding shamelessly to get him to move on. Toji grinned in the middle of the kiss. He loved it when you dropped your reservations and started to want him in the same fashion. Your fingers scraped his scalp and he groaned, resuming his path down the hills and valleys of your body, stopping once he reached your navel to slowly slip off your shorts. He swirled his tongue over your belly button while removing your shorts and it sent a shock up your spine.
“You’re always into weird shit,” you groaned. Toji couldn’t do anything other than chuckle. He’s still on the tip of the iceberg of all the things he wanted to do to you, but he would get you there someday. With your legs bared he could finally see how you were dripping wet for him. Ever the tease he sucked on his two middle fingers, taking them out with an obnoxious pop to drag them over your folds. You arched your back to his touch, breathlessly urging him to give you more.
“I thought you always say that I rush it,” he smirked. His fingers glided over your sex, rubbing circles on your clit before dipping inside of your heat. You mewled, twisting underneath him, your chest rising and falling rapidly. “You could always stay home so it could last longer.”
“Je- ah! -Jess needs me,” you whimpered when his fingers curled against your spot that brought tears to your eyes while putting his thumb on your clit. Tears brimmed your eyes, a look that Toji enjoyed looking at and he climbed up again to kiss them away. He licked the salty liquid off of his lips, straying from your eyes so he could reach the junction of your neck. Toji continued to stimulate both spots, his fingers reaching deep inside of you and his thumb drawing out moans from you until you were kicking the sheets on the bed.
“I need you,” Toji murmured in your skin. He was unsure if you heard him. You gazed at him with watery eyes but you were too overcome with your speeding climax to catch what he said. He dropped to his knees, dragging you to the edge of the bed and threw your legs over his shoulders. He left butterfly soft kisses on the inside of your thighs, his fingers grazing over your quivering thighs until you gripped his hair.
“Don’t you wanna make it up to me?” You asked in a husky voice. The edges of your sentence trembled with anticipation and a challenge. His eyes widened then darkened at your words. He couldn’t really tell what you were thinking. He hated that; being left in the dark and completely at your mercy. This was his chance to have you only focus on him and how good he could make you feel.
Toji buried himself nose deep in between your legs, lapping up your arousal and you thrashed around in his tight grip, drenching his tongue with your come. Your thighs threatened to crush his head between your thighs. Toji didn’t mind it, only continuing his onslaught against your sanity. Your hips drew back away from him, looking for a break only for his mouth to follow incessantly. It wasn’t until you dragged his head out from your cunt that you got relief, but as soon as you did you still wanted more.
You could taste yourself on his tongue when you pulled him up, the remnants of your orgasm evident, shiny on his lips and down his chin. You were on your knees on the bed, making you the same height as him, and with your mouths welded together you worked your hands to get him out of his pants. Toji stood painfully hard. The moment you started to stroke his hot length a guttural groan escaped his lips. You kissed his jaw and neck until you got to his shirt.
“Take this off,” you ordered in a thick voice, and within the next second his shirt was flung to some obscure corner of the room. You harshly bit his shoulder once you had access to his pale skin, then ran your tongue over the area to soothe it.
“You know how to take care of me, baby,” you whispered in his ear, telling him exactly what he needed to hear. Over time you learned that Toji enjoyed the praise that fell from your lips, craved for it. His ears would take a fiery shade when you complimented him outside of the bedroom, so naturally it carried on inside of it as well. You took only a moment to break away to spit in your hand, mixing the saliva and precum that gathered to glide over him. You bumped noses with Toji to get him to focus on your face. He looked at you through his dark lashes and you focused more on his frenulum, making a tight circle right below his tip and his eyes rolled back into his head. His hand that rested on your hip had nails that dug into your skin. You thumbed his slit and spoke in his ear again.
“You’ve always been good to me,” you murmured. “Just take me like you mean it.”
You were on your back once again, pressed deep in the sheets with Toji deep in you. Every attempt to say his name was lost by his movements. Toji fucked you just as you asked, leaving no room for you to doubt him. He was rough, pushing you into different positions that made his length reach the end of you, his mouth sloppily covering yours until you were gasping for air. When he flipped you on your stomach, Toji’s unabashed moans went directly in your ear, fucking you through another orgasm out of you with his hand squeezing the front of your neck. He twisted, bit, and sucked your nipples so much prior that the collapsed position on the bed made them hypersensitive against the sheets. The tears rolling down your face attested to it. Your hands were clawing at the sheets from the overwhelming sensations.
Toji wondered if you could feel the desperation coursing through him. The apologies he wasn’t good at, the sincerity, the need he has for you, his love. He hoped it all translated well with every touch even if it was rough around the edges. It wasn’t until you were shaking again, your cunt messy from another climax that his strokes shortened. Toji threaded his fingers through your hand that was outstretched above your head, and you latched onto him like a lifeline. You cried out when he slammed into you one last time, painting your insides white.
He was resting in you, barely holding himself up to keep from crushing your frame completely. You shook off his hand that was holding him to snake it up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to your side for one last kiss. It was salty from sweat and tears yet sweet, clumsy, and reassuring. You were clearly tired, and he was still inside of you, but you were no longer in a rush to leave. You deflated back into the bed and Toji got up to get a wet cloth to wipe you down. Once you were clean he laid beside you and you gave him a sleepy smile, your eyelids half open.
“You win, for now. I’m too tired to go anywhere right now. Wake me up in an hour,” you murmured, already falling asleep by the end of your sentence. You looked so peaceful when sleeping, like all was well and there were no problems between the two of you. Toji wished that he could sleep untroubled in the same manner, but all he could do was watch you drift away with his arms around you.
~*~
Toji stared at his empty phone after he got off of a call with you. You had just let him know that you were at your friend’s house, and Megumi was away doing school stuff, so he was alone on a weekend, something that hasn’t happened in a very long time.
He poked at the device, his mind wandering. There were things to do, he would find something to do, but instead he typed in “therapists near me” in the search engine. It couldn’t be that bad. You were right, he never officially went through a grieving process, whatever the hell that meant. His wife died and the next ten years were a blur. He happened to run into his son and Megumi didn’t even know who he was. He never knew how much he looked like his mother and it snapped something back into place in Toji’s brain. All he knew is that he had to fix what he ruined all those years ago.
The fixing was still in process, and Megumi lets him off the hook way more than he fucking should, but maybe that’s why the mistakes and dreams were happening so often. Toji got his son back, he found you, and his life was… normal. It was something that he wanted since he was a child, but it came only after her death. His stormy life has finally become calm and now he has to sift through the broken pieces left behind.
Toji turned off his phone after reading reviews of a counselor. They all seemed full of shit. Clients talked about their feelings for a month and suddenly they were doing a lot better? Right. The feelings he had will pass, they always do. He didn’t need someone to tell him that what happened all those years ago fucked with his mind. The gap in his memory was a clear indicator already. He didn’t want to go poking around there either.
After long deliberation Toji decided to go to a bar he used to frequent in the beginning of the relationship. The both of you became homebodies the longer you dated, but after he brought you there the first time it was the one place he found that the two of you could agree on going first and letting the night play out after when you weren’t to sure on what else do to for date nights but wanted to get out of the house. Upon entering and taking his section on the counter the familiar face of one of the bartenders came to serve him. With a smile without words she immediately started to prepare a cosmo for him out of habit, because it was something you ordered. Toji had to stop the bartender once he realized what she was doing.
“She’s not with me tonight.”
Her eyes went wide with surprise. The only woman Toji continually had around him was suddenly no longer here. Toji could see the stories building up in her head and immediately put a stop to it.
“She’s out with her friend. Girl’s night.”
“Ah, that makes sense. I was worried there for a second,” the bartender giggled. “Just water for you still?”
“Actually, I’ll have a glass of whisky. Neat.”
Once again the eyebrows on the bartender almost touched her hairline. He has never taken a sip of alcohol no matter how many times he stepped foot inside of the bar, no matter what sugary concoction you ordered, so she never thought she’d see the day. She snapped out of her astonishment when Toji gave her an annoyed stare and quickly made his glass. She slid it over to him and he drank it in a flash.
“Another one,” he ordered, and gingerly she took the glass.
Toji eyed the TV overhead, half listening to the program playing when he heard a familiar voice come from beside him. The bartender handed him his second glass when the guest guffawed at Toji.
“I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” A sharply dressed Korean man slipped into the seat next to Toji at the bar and it made him gawk for a second. As always, a cigarette hung from the other man’s lips, unlit and carefully balanced. His tie that he usually wore was nowhere around his neck, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.
“Well you did say the only time you ever want to see me again is in hell,” Toji remarked after the moment of unexpectedness passed.
“That I did say. Almost thought I died for a second.” Toji gave the man a side eye, then they both let out wry laughs.
“What are you doing here, Shiu?”
“Nothing you’re interested in. I heard you retired.”
“Heard right,” Toji grunted. He stared down his glass and downed the rest of the ambery liquid. It stung on the way down, but he was on the third glass and still didn’t feel any buzz like he had hoped. Drinking never did much for Toji. He didn’t know why he thought tonight would be any different.
“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” Shiu shook his head in disbelief. He worked with Toji when he was at his lowest for years doing unsavory business. He knew that he was dealing with a broken man, someone who would take anything that was given to him because it would be better than working with his blood relatives, so when the news finally got around to him he couldn’t believe that Toji finally decided to stop working underground. He had a hard time imagining what Toji could do anywhere else. Seeing him in the flesh, alive and relatively well was a sight to behold.
“Usually I wouldn’t pry because it’s none of my goddamn business, but I’m feeling a little loose tonight. What made you leave? What do you do now?”
Toji waved down the bartender to fill his glass once again, and he gulped the drink down with a sigh before answering. “I got my kid back and I teach other spineless fuckers how to defend themselves for a living.”
Shiu gave him an incredulous look. “Megumi lives with you? And you just help people now?”
“Yeah. Why do you look like that’s impossible for me to do or something?”
“The last time I asked you about your kid you didn’t even remember his name and you used to blow people’s brains out for cash. Sorry if I find it hard to believe,” Shiu chuckled.
“Better believe it.”
“So what’s the problem? I find you here after all this time, drinking when you told me before that it has no effect on you. The only other thing that made you this way was lady issues.”
Toji ran his finger over the edge of his glass silently. If Shiu wasn’t being annoying before, he was now.
“Seriously? You? You married again? Third time’s the charm,” Shiu winked.
“I’m not married.”
“If she’s not your wife then why the hell are you moping around like this?”
“Fucking hell, Shiu. I like you better when you don’t talk.”
“Suck it up. You’ve piqued my interest.”
Shiu finally lit the cigarette that he held in his lips and called the bartender over for his drink. After a long drag, Shiu released the smoke. It billowed up in front of both of the men, its tendrils grazing Toji’s face that made his nose itch.
“So you got a woman. She’s not your wife but what, you’re thinking about marrying her? Being nervous about that kind of thing is not something I believe would bother you so no, that’s not it. But maybe it is. Maybe marriage isn’t the problem right now, but it will be pretty soon. And seeing how you suddenly got soft, a fight that you guys had is shaking you up. You’ve always been pretty attentive to the few women in your life that you actually liked outside of a place to sleep.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Toji gritted.
“Right on the money,” Shiu smirked. “I happen to like you more when you don’t take yourself as seriously. So what is it? She must be terrible and won’t let you do anything or you guys are fighting all the time and you’re starting to think it’s not worth it.”
“Neither. Believe it or not, I’m the problem.”
“I figured. I was just trying to be on your side for a little bit.”
Toji stared down at the empty cup as he spoke. The words were moving faster than the ability he had to actually process what he was admitting to. It seems like all the drinks were finally catching up to him. He confessed everything before he could bring himself to shut up.
“We’ll be doing great, her and I, and then Megumi’s mom starts showing up again. She lurks in my mind, haunts my dreams, creeps into our lives. I'm calling my late wife’s name instead of her and it’s breaking her down. She doesn’t even want to be around me right now.”
It was so silent between them that Toji had to look up to Shiu. He had the stick between his fingers, the ember smoldering and Shiu’s eyebrows were raised for the umpteenth time.
“Of all the things you could have said, I wasn’t expecting that. Could you blame the girl?”
“Why do you think I’m here?”
“Give her some time to cool off but you fucked up.”
Toji tried to wave the bartender over once again but Shiu stopped him. Toji gave him a hard stare, one that could kill a man if the man wasn’t Shiu.
“I know you don’t do this often but you will be shit faced if you keep that up. Leave now while you can still walk in a straight line.”
“Yeah right.” Toji shrugged him off. He didn’t feel that much different, but he took Shiu’s advice. He left a hefty tip in his place and left the bar, getting in his car and driving on autopilot until he suddenly was in front of a graveyard. Toji hasn’t been here before, even the day that they buried her. He was just told the location and avoided it at all costs.
Your voice rings in his ear again, telling him that he could talk to you about his wife if it made it easier. It still baffled him how he managed to find someone as understanding as you when he didn’t even have the balls to attend the funeral. Her grave was, as expected, large, gray, and cold. He stood in front of it, not saying anything, dusting off the leaves that piled on the top of the stone.
“I met someone new,” he started, shocking himself but he kept going. “I think you’d like her. She’s like you in some things, completely different in others.”
Wind blew through Toji’s hair and he realized that he left his jacket in the car. Or maybe at the bar. He hoped that wherever you were you had a jacket. You got cold so easily, your fingers turning to icicles at the slightest temperature drop.
“I’m taking care of Megumi the best way I can. I fucked up in the beginning, almost ruined everything, but he’s a great kid. All his best qualities are from you.” Toji sighed and looked up at the starless sky. There was no moon either, just an expanse of darkness that stretched in all directions. A helicopter with blinking lights passed through his vision, breaking the sea of black.
“I love her. You’d probably say some shit like you want me to be happy, and I’m trying to be. It’s harder than it looks,” Toji huffed out a dry laugh. He looked back at the grave.
“Thank you.”
~*~
When you showed up to Jess' place she was exactly how you expected her to be; angry. She had heavy metal music blaring through her speaker so loud you worried for her neighbors. She was actually in a much better mood than you expected. Before when she had first broken up with her boyfriend (along with the second and third time), you were welcomed to big, soppy tears running down her face and a handful of tissues clenched tight in her fist. You guessed that with each breakup Jess hardened her heart more until there were no more tears left to give and only anger remained.
You let her get her emotions out, tidying up the place while she told you every shitty thing her boyfriend did, things that you had said that he was going to do because you already knew that he was bad news, until she was out of breath from screaming and talking and finally sat down on the couch with you.
“Feeling better now, babe?”
Jess held a pillow in front of her and her face was obscured by it, her answer coming out muffled. “No.”
“But you will be. He was only holding you back,” you reassured.
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I hope he falls in a ditch somewhere.”
“Me too,” you said, handing her a wine glass and you both sat in silence for a few beats. You were lost in your thoughts full of Toji when Jess called out your name.
“Your boyfriend– his last name is Fushiguro, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I was talking to a client today. More like listening in on his conversation. Real sick fucker, kept calling all the girls sluts and whores, and not in a cute way. Unfortunately, he wanted me to dance for him in the booth, and I heard him talk about Toji. I mean, I don't know about you, but I don’t think that there’s that many Toji's out there. Anyway, this blond motherfucker keeps talking about trying to find a way to bring Toji back into the family. Whether he means that literally or it’s some yakuza shit, I don’t know. What I do know is that he said that he wished he knew if Toji was with anybody so that they can use them to bring him in. Obviously your Toji’s girlfriend now, and you mentioned that he used to have a wife. I just thought it was strange. This guy’s last name was Zen’in though. He mentioned it like, 50 times. I think he’s supposed to be important.”
“It’s gotta be some type of coincidence.”
“Yeah, I fucking hope so. Do you really know Toji? I mean blondie was a bitchboy but the other guys he was surrounded with… I don’t know. If it is your Toji, he’s dangerous.”
“… Toji isn’t like that.”
Jess gave you a hard stare. Neither of you believed the lie you were trying to convince yourself of. You knew that Toji must be a lot more dangerous than he let on, but it seemed to be in the past.
“Anymore! Whatever he did before he met me is none of my concern. He has a kid that he’s very devoted to and he’s been… well he says that he loves me. I just have to trust him.”
“Right, until he gets you killed.”
“Jess!”
“Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m not wishing any harm on you, just be careful.”
“Oh wow thanks for putting that thought in my head,” you sarcastically grumbled. You huddled yourself in a small ball on her couch and didn’t notice Jess studying you intensely.
“So what’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you barely talked about Toji since you came in.”
You gave you a pointed look. “You called me on the phone crying that you're finally over your boyfriend and I’m supposed to talk about mine?”
“True… but this feels different. You didn’t even bring him up in passing. You’ve said nothing about Toji.”
“Right now it is about you, love.” It was a dodgy answer, both you and Jess knew it, and she stared you down until you cracked and told her what had happened the night before and everything preceding it. She winced at the mention of Toji’s late wife the same time you did and went into deep thought.
“So how are you feeling?”
“Like an asshole. I know it’s really not his fault.”
“You have been dating for how long now?”
“Gonna be six months pretty soon.”
“Six months? You’re better than me,” Jess side-eyed you.
“He was married. That’s a big deal.” You didn’t even know why you were getting defense for Toji. It’s been bothering you too, a lot more than you let out to him. Now you felt like you actually had a reason to pull back instead of it all being in your head.
“Married yeah, but been with you for a while now. You’d think he’d try not to mix you up. What if… what if you’re a replacement? Like he doesn’t actually see you. ”
The thought has crossed your mind before and you fell into a deep silence. If you had been asked this just a few weeks ago you would’ve confidently been able to say no. However, now… now it seemed totally plausible.
“You could remind him of his wife so much and that’s why he likes you.”
“Stop,” you muttered, but Jess didn’t hear you.
“I know you don’t know anybody who was close to her but what if you two look alike? What if—“
“Shut up! What is wrong with you?”
“I was just saying—“
“It’s his late wife, and I’m not anything like her.” Your voice was cold and heavy, settling in the air with a deadly finality. Jess was stunned, but then she gave you a saddened smile.
“You don’t know that, but you’re right, I'm meddling again. You know what we should do? Go out. I’m tired of being the entertainer, I want to be entertained.”
You were grateful for the change of sec energy after the conversation, even if you had to get ready in a whirlwind. Jess put you in one of her dresses and you were glad that you two were similar sizes and styles. You choses a simple silk dress that went down just past your knees with a high collar but an open back. Jess, who never gave up the chance to show off her legs, donned a plum dress with a halter neck and a skirt that flared and stopped mid thigh . Low yet stylish black heels were clad to both of your feet, as you decided that you would take a taxi and walk to the club instead of trying to find parking with your car. To your surprise Jess chose a jazz club, and music poured from the open door down the street, soothing and flowing like honey that calmed your soul. Immediately you thought of how you would love to go here again with Toji and you shook the thought out of your head.
“I'm here with Jess,” you muttered to yourself.
Jess turned around and cocked her head to the side. “Did you say something?”
“No. Nothing. Let’s head inside.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
The night was supposed to be about Jess, and you weren’t going to let her focus on you like this. You dragged her inside of the establishment, your eyes adjusting to the dimly lit space covered in a thin veil of smoke. You couldn’t hear it from the sidewalk, but now inside here was a woman singing on the stage. The embodiment of old Hollywood, a silver sequined dress glittered on her smooth, caramel skin as she sang romantically into the mic. Her body swayed side to side, getting lost in the music, drowning in it, and you wished that you could be absorbed by the melody like she was.
It was Jess’s turn to drag you around since you fell into the trance of the singer, and she chose a booth tucked away on the wall. You still had a great view of the stage, but close enough to the bar.
Jess went to do her thing, standing at the bar and sitting pretty and batting her eyes to the people around her. It didn’t take long for a drink to be offered to her, and it worked like a charm every single time. You had thought that was the case for you as well when a strawberry margarita was brought to you at the table by a waiter, but when they pointed in a direction opposite of Jess you were more inclined to search for the sender.
A familiar face, or rather faces, gazed back at you. White tufts of icy hair, crystalline blue eyes peering about black circular shaded, and a million watt smile flashed at you while the other face had dark pupils and sharper eyes, but a comforting grin you knew well.
You waved for Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto to come over to your section with a wide smile.
“Satoru? Suguru? What are you guys doing here?”
You stood up to hug the both of them and inspected their faces. It has only been a few years since you last saw them in college. Gojo’s hands remained on your back while Surugu gave you a recap of the last few years without you. Just then, Jess came back with two drinks in her hand and a confused look. You quickly introduced her to your old friends.
“Jess! This is Suguru and Satoru… I met them back in college,” you explained. As soon as Suguru’s name left your mouth Jess zeroed in on him with a seductive stare.
“So you're one of her friends. I was afraid that I was the only one she got,” Jess purred. She didn't even bother with Satoru, only giving him a quick nod of acknowledgement before giving her undivided attention back to Suguru.
“It looks like you’ve been taking good care of her,” Suguru praised, returning the interest with his own heavy gaze. When he took Jess’s hand you couldn’t believe your eyes. You lost your friend to Suguru the moment he opened his mouth. Turning to Toru instead, you pulled him down to sit next to you.
“While they do that over there,” you said, “Tell me what’s been going on with you! Are you still drinking straight sugar for the hell of it?”
“Ha-ha,” Satoru laughed dryly. A bright smile was still plastered on his face. You took him in full, his casual black t-shirt and thighs clad with dark washed jeans, and his signature black frames pushing up his hair and framing his face. He wore a fresh and sweet smelling cologne that even you would get. On the outside, Satoru seemed great. However, you’ve known him for a long time, managed to become someone who he cared enough about to call a friend and you took the title seriously. You knew how well he hides his emotions because he’d rather keep things light. He did it extremely well that sometimes it was hard to tell what exactly could be wrong.
“Stop psychoanalyzing me before you burn holes through my head.
“That’s my line, high beams.” you shoved him with your shoulder. “I just feel like we never talk anymore. I’ve missed you.”
A sly smile crept over his face. “Told you that America wasn’t all that. You just had to learn it the hard way.”
“Yeah, you’re right there.” You took large gulps of your drink until it was finished and sighed. Gojo raised his brow.
“What’s that about?”
“Ask me after my third drink,” you said, calling the waiter over.
“Drinking away your woes has never worked for you. In fact, I remember when you drank so much you got confused and said that I was kidnapping you.”
You threw your head in your hands. “That was one time!” Heat started to creep up your face as Gojo recounted all your embarrassing drinking moments.
“One time? Maybe the kidnapper thing, sure, but then there was the time that you broke down sobbing, and I mean big fat tears rolling down your face, at a deer just crossing the road. You tried to take it home with you.”
You groaned but there was humor in it. You’ve seen the videos of how you act around animals, and Gojo was never too far, oftentimes scooping you up to take you home since you could barely walk. He kept good care of you whenever you went out.
“Suddenly you think that every animal is the most beautiful creature in the world and you get sad that they don’t know that.”
“It’s true. There’s only eight species that can identify themselves in the mirror.”
“Of course you know that. Nerd.”
“Shut up,” you laugh. “I’m the nerd while you have an electrical engineering degree?”
“Would geek fit better? You’re the one who becomes a hyper vigilant Snow White when you get drunk, spewing animal and space facts just cause.”
“I’m not gonna stop drinking and I'm not apologizing. I give you valuable information whether you know it or not,” you shrug. Your next drink was brought to you, and you tried to drink it a little slower through the straw. It didn’t work, as you were suckling on it faster than expected as Gojo caught you up on his personal life. He always amazed you with all the projects he had going on simultaneously. It made your head spin, but you held deep respect for him. For the care free act he put on he was incredibly considerate of those who were younger than him, and always ready to challenge those above him if he thought they were out of line. You envied Satoru’s assertiveness, and when you finally got to your third drink, he asked you what was wrong once again.
“Just silly relationship stuff. I’ll get over myself soon enough,” you tried to wave him off. Your tolerance was nothing like it was during college, and your words were starting to slow and crash into each other. You nursed the drink close to your chest and Satoru sighed. He pulled it out of your hand, resting the glass on the table while you whined.
“Toruuuu, stop.”
“Tell me what’s really wrong. You get everybody to talk about their feelings and shit but you want people to overlook yours.”
“It’s nothing to worry about,” you mumbled. “I came out tonight to forget about the whole thing.”
On the floor Suguru and Jess swayed in each other’s arms, whispering in each other’s ear and giggling. He looked at her with such adoring eyes, something much deeper than the lust you first saw. Jess was a bubbly mess in his arms but she was enjoying herself. When his back was facing you she gave you an ecstatic look, mouthing a “thank you” that made you smirk.
You could never get Toji to dance with you. Said it wasn't his thing, and after a couple times of asking and being rejected you dropped the matter altogether. It didn’t make you want to dance any less, it hurts all the same. Gojo saw you looking at all the couples circling around and slid out of the booth. He offered you his hand, and you raised your brow suspiciously.
“What? You don’t like dancing anymore?”
Gojo wasn’t Toji, and you have never compared them in your mind ever before, but in that moment you had wished that Toji would be a little bit like him. You took Toru’s hand and he took you to the small dance floor, twirling you around to the song. You barely caught the lyrics, but it was a sweet melody about first love. You rested your cheek on Gojo’s chest and he carried the tempo of your dance.
“Thank you, Satoru,” you muttered, sure that he didn’t hear you. But he did, and he leaned back to look down at you with concerned eyes.
“I haven't done anything yet. What did your boyfriend do to you?”
Your bottom lip wavered to answer, ready to spill your troubled heart’s concerns when the slow song ended and an upbeat instrumental song started to play. Trumpets were introduced, charging the air with electricity and everybody on the floor started to dance more vigorously. Your face lit up, already forgetting what you were about to say and you twisted and spun around with Gojo, matching the beat, flowing to the rhythm, laughing just as happily as the music sounded. You only went back once to finish off your drink, and you danced until your feet were throbbing. Before Jess left the dancefloor she winked at you and told you that she would be leaving with Surguru, giving you a sly smile. Gojo offered to take you home, and drunkenly you agreed.
You sang badly to the radio on the drive back to your place, basically yelling songs into Satoru’s ear but he joined in with you, singing right back to you. He matched your energy until you were dissolving into a fit of giggles from singing lyrics entirely backwards. When reached your home Gojo held your heels and bag in his hands while you tiptoed across the stones to get to the front door.
“Bag please!”
“Still have manners even when you're drunk,” Gojo laughed. He held your purse open for you to rummage through. You were both looming over the purse and accidentally bumped heads. Gojo’s hand immediately went to rub your forehead instead of his own and you nervously giggled.
“Careful. You could’ve given me a concussion with that hard head of yours,” he teased.
“Oh fuck you,” you laughed. Your eyes were trapped by his until his lips became the prettier picture. Always pink and plush, you started to drift closer to his face until you finally got some sense.
“God Satoru, why did you have to come back now?” You tore your eyes away from his lips and shoved your face in his shoulder. Gojo wasn’t going to stop you from kissing him. He should have if he was a better man. However, he has always wanted to be with you, and you never gave him the chance, so he would’ve taken anything you gave him. Now that he has settled down, he would have been your boyfriend.
He spoke first to break the silence. “Do you have a headache?”
“No… I should get my keys now. I’m cold,” you mumbled.
You couldn’t find your keys in the bag, and you patted yourself down as if you had them in your pockets but you were wearing a very pocketless dress. He could already see the tears forming on your lash line and wanted to soothe you.
“What if they're at Jess’ place?” Satoru said to calm you down.
“Why would Jess steal my keys? I thought we were friends?” You were about to start crying. Just then, the front door opened, and Gojo was greeted by a face he never thought he’d see again.
“Fushiguro?”
“Toji!”
You jumped in Toji’s arms and he caught you with ease. He came to the front door because of all the noise he was hearing. Never would he had thought that it was Sataru fucking Gojo and his woman bickering outside.
“Toji I missed you so much. I sent pictures. Did you see them?”
“Yeah. I saw them. You’re gorgeous.” Each word came out with daggers thrown in Gojo's direction.
Toji’s grip on your waist got tighter as you peppered his face with kisses, his stare unbroken from Gojo’s. The first and last target that he wasn’t able to kill all those years ago came back to bite him in the ass. Of course you of all people knew who Gojo was. Gojo looked at the scene like he walked into an alternate universe. You were with Toji. Toji was with you. This was the man that had you moping at the club.
“Thank you, Sa–Satoru,” you hiccuped. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“You do the same. And let me know if you have any other relationship issues you want to talk about,” he smirked to Toji, and the other man scowled.
“I told you, it’s nothing,” you said in a sing-song voice. “I’m really sleepy now.”
“I bet you are,” Toji said in your ear. Toji gave Gojo one last look. There was no real emotion on his face anymore. Satoru was only able to thinly veil the annoyance in his voice when Toji dismissed him. “Let’s go to bed.”
Once inside you led Toji to the bathroom, stripping down naked and stepping straight into the shower. You beckoned him to join you, and he grabbed your shower cap that you forgot so you don’t get your hair wet. Toji took the washcloth from your hands, wanting to wash you himself. This was routine to him, something that made him feel calm. You had the faint smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke lingering on your skin, yet there was still your natural scent of you underneath. He kissed your shoulder, turning you back into the spray of the water, and you peered up at him. You brushed his hair out of his forehead to see him clearly.
“Did I mention how I missed you?” You giggled.
“I missed you too, doll.”
Toji lifted your chin up to look at him. His thumb rubbed the flat surface right below your lip and he kissed you softly once. It wasn’t even a whole day since you were gone and he had missed this feeling more than you could know. The touch of your lips was enough to get him hard, and it was starting to show.
“I’m never gonna drink again,” you groaned, dropping your head into his chest. “Thank god I don’t have work tomorrow.”
“You’re really lucky,” he mumbled. “How do you… who was that guy?”
You took your washcloth out of his hand and grabbed his own. After lathering it with soap you started to scrub him down, admiring his body in the lowlight.“What guy?”
“That guy that brought you home,” Toji said through clenched teeth.
“Toru? He’s just a friend.”
You even had a nickname for him.
“Just friends? Since when?” Toji hated the way he sounded. It was needy, prying, totally unlike him. He shouldn’t give a damn, you were back in his arms, going to sleep in his bed. Why couldn’t he just let it go?
“Since uni. We weren’t in the same college but our friend groups overlapped.”
“That’s it?”
You slowed the way you washed him. The questions started to feel more loaded, and you were sobering up. Your eyebrows were drawn together when you answered.
“I mean, yeah? I never dated him, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”
“I thought you went out with Jess.” Not a question this time, yet the air felt heavier. You were aware of how cold the water was when you usually like to take hot showers.
“I was with her. She wanted to go to this jazz club and we met up with friends. Jess left with a guy and Toru took me home.”
“Isn’t he such a great guy,” Toji said through clenched teeth. “So instead of calling me you climbed into some bastard’s car, drunk , at one in the morning.”
“He’s not just some guy, Toji. I’m sorry, I should’ve called you but I know him.”
“That’s what you think,” Toji scoffed.
You scoffed right back at him, now crossing your arms over your chest. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Toji was getting too emotional. He tried to grab the washcloth out of your hand but you stopped him. You both gave each other hard stares with anger seeping into both of your expressions. Toji already spoke too much, ready to let it go, but you were just getting started.
“You can’t just move past that. What’s the problem this time?”
Toji rolled his eyes. “You make it sound like I always have a problem.”
“I wouldn’t know, you never tell me anything,” you fired back.
“There’s no problem. We’re wasting water.”
You turned the faucet so the shower stopped then stood your ground. This was a side of you that Toji didn’t see often. The stubborn one, the immovable object against his usually unstoppable force. He would be on the sidelines when this happened, watching you deal with family members or other people outside with this unwavering spirit that wouldn’t back down, but now it was turned on him.
“There. Water’s not wasting. You want to get something off your chest? Say it.”
“I just didn’t think I’d have to tell you to call for me if you wanted to come home. I know your phone wasn’t broken because you sent me pictures. I expect you to tell me where you’re going and call me when you want to leave. I think that’s the least you can fucking do,” he said through gritted teeth.
You pinched your eyebrows together. “I was drunk Toji, and it was a quick decision that really doesn’t mean anything.” In the back of your head you knew that you sounded like a hypocrite. What he was asking wasn’t a hard request. In fact, it was the very same thing you had asked of Toji when you first started to date. Toji would just up and disappear for hours. Granted, you could always find him at his dojo or in his garage, but he never told you that. You didn’t want to know every little thing that he was doing but a general “I’m okay” would suffice. You knew this, yet you still couldn’t stop the malice crawling up your throat.
“The least you could do is call me by the right name but I guess we’re both having problems with simple tasks.”
Your words rang in the air for a long while. You wanted to regret them coming out of your mouth but you didn’t. It’s been eating you up since you heard her name. She must’ve been a gorgeous lady with a name like that. You couldn’t find any information on her, and it’s not like Toji kept pictures around, yet Toji’s late wife haunted you. Somebody that you have never met had permanent residence in your head. It made you sick.
You took things to hell and Toji didn’t push back. He didn’t know how else to comfort you, to convince you that he was in love with you, now, and always has been. Flashes of Toji going to see her grave earlier popped into his mind. Even though he was there, all he could think about was you. Toji thought he couldn’t explain himself that well, so he settled for something else.
“You’re not her and I don’t want you to be .”
Hot tears ran down your face before you even knew that they were there. Toji cupped your face and used his thumb to wipe away your tears. “I thought I could let go of this. I thought I would be mature enough about this whole situation but I’m not. I can see it in your eyes, Toji,” you sobbed. “It only happened one time but if another slip up like that happened I won’t be able to handle it. I think– I think I need a break.”
Toji froze. You held his wrists and pried them off of his face, putting them back to his side and wiped your nose with the back of your hands. The cold was starting to settle in his bone, a chill that he was familiar with but alway unprepared for. He waited for you to explain yourself and you sucked in a deep breath.
“We did this whole thing pretty fast, don’t you think? I mean– it’s just–”
“A break. You want to leave.”
You tried to clear up the confusion. “I want to have some time to think. That’s all. Stay at my place for a little while. I need to think everything through.”
“Think what through? So what, I’ve been keeping you hostage? Forcing you to be with me the whole time? Fine, go ahead.”
Blood was rushing in Toji’s ears; he could barely hear his own voice. He left you behind in the shower stumbling over your own words to calm him down. Take a break. What a stupid fucking concept. If you want to leave, just say that. Why would he hold hope for you to come back to him?
“Toji, wait. Listen to me!” You hastily wrapped a towel around your body, calling behind him but he was not stopping.
“You already said everything. Go pack your stuff already. I won’t be holding you back anymore.”
“I didn’t mean it like that–”
“What the hell could you have meant?” He growled. He regretted it the second you shrank away from him. It was never Toji’s intention to make you feel small. He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face.
“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you whispered. The glassiness in your eyes was not lost to him. You stomped back into the bathroom, coming out with your toiletries in a basket and putting them on the floor. From the closet you brought out your suitcase you had bought the time you had flown to Malaysia with Toji. You started to open the dressers, throwing your clothes haphazardly inside. You put on your clothes to ditch the towel and grabbed everything that was yours on top of the dresser.
“Stop,” Toji said in a low voice. If you genuinely didn’t hear him or ignored him, he couldn’t tell. You continued to move like a whirlwind around the room.
“Stop. Just stop,” he repeated, grabbing your arm and you reeled away like he was a red hot iron rod.
“I just wanted you to be better, Toji. That’s all I ever wanted. You’re not the only one who’s dealt with loss, you know? There are steps you can take and you refused them all and I am tired . I love you but clearly that’s not enough anymore. If you love me, let me go.”
The white in your eyes and the tip of your nose was tinged red. The tiredness that you spoke of physically manifested itself, and Toji saw just how much of a toll it was taking on your body. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore.
“It’s not safe to leave right now. Wait until the morning. Please.”
The “please” was your undoing. Not only was he right, but you also didn’t have your keys. They were still at Jess’ place and getting a ride this early in the morning would be impossible. You gave him a curt nod.
“You sleep here. I’ll sleep in the living room.”
You didn’t say anything to him when he left the room. Toji sat on the couch plunged in darkness, listening to you shuffle around in the shared bedroom until the light went out. He sat there until the sun rose from the horizon and he didn’t remember when he actually fell asleep. He didn’t dream of anything. All he knew is that when he finally came to you were gone, your stuff cleared out as much as it could be with a note to throw everything else out.
~*~
Toji’s finger hovered over your name on his phone. He shouldn’t call you. He’s the one who pushed you away, told you to leave if that’s what you wanted to do. But after seeing you tonight for the first time in weeks, at the bar that you used to go to together, with with that white haired fucker you looked happy. You were as gorgeous as always, and Toji could almost taste the lip gloss that you were wearing, knew the exact shade it was as it left a mark on the glass you drank. You hung off Gojo’s body, hooking your arms with his, resting your head on his shoulder, giggling and holding his face the whole night. Toji was sure that neither of you saw him, and watching the both of you felt like he was intruding. Jealousy reared its nasty head on Toji, making his chest tight. He wondered how long you’ve known him for. You never brought Gojo up before, not once, but his past always had a funny way of sneaking up on him. Toji left before he did something reckless.
He couldn’t be mad at anyone other than himself. Now he sat in his car after spending hours driving around the city to clear his head, time slipping through his fingers. Toji’s phone dimmed, a sign of inactivity from his inability to make a decision. He hasn’t been able to reach you in weeks. Every call went to voicemail, but lately they’ve been ringing through with no answer. You must’ve blocked him, but he’s unblocked now, right? The worst that could happen is that you don’t pick up, again, or he could call and call like he’s been doing and you do pick up, but only to tell him to never speak to you again. It would be deserved, but at least he’ll get to hear your voice one last time.
“Fuck it,” he muttered, pressing the call button and waits. The first ring goes though, then the second, then the third. “Come on,” he urged. You always have your phone on you. He imagined you sitting down somewhere, just watching his call vibrate your phone. Finally, on the last ring the screen changed, the time starting to show that you had picked up.
“Hello?” It didn’t sound like you were in the middle of anything, but it was hard to tell. You could’ve been laid right up underneath Gojo for all Toji knows. You didn’t sound angry either. There was surprise in your voice, but nothing else.
“Hello? Toji, are you alright?”
He spent so much time analyzing your voice he forgot to actually respond. He cleared his voice before answering. “I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Tired.” You shifted, the sound of sheets settling around you and Toji tried to imagine where you were. Hopefully in your own bed with no one else in it. “Is– Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened. Megumi’s okay too,” he said before you could ask. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
It was a truthful admission, even if it stirred from jealousy. Nothing could be heard from your line besides your soft breathing. Toji’s finger impatiently tapped on the steering wheel. Usually when he says that he likes the sound of your voice you would turn your face away from him to hide the lopsided grin that would grow on your face. He wondered if you were fighting back the same reaction now.
“Oh,” is all you said. Oh . Oh well? Oh no? Oh what?
“I’m going to come over. Is that alright?”
“Right now?”
“Yes. Now.”
“Why?”
Toji already started to drive in your direction. He needed to have more than just your voice. He didn’t want to end things with you like this. He didn’t want it to end at all.
“What, are you busy or something? Got somebody over there?”
“No. I just wasn’t expecting a visit so soon. And I’m surprised that you even asked. Usually you just show up at my place like it's yours too,” you laughed. Music to his ears, that what your laugh was to him.
“I thought I would use those manners you’re always talking about. I’ll be there in twenty.”
You sighed heavily. “Bab– Toji. I don’t think this is a good–”
“I just want to talk.”
“Just talk?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“Don’t flip this on me. I tried talking to you and that didn’t work. It never does. I’m not sure if I should even let you in.” There it was. The hardness in your voice that had finality like you were truly done with him.
“I’m not gonna force you to.” There was nothing left he could say that he thought would convince you. You hated being told what to do, so this was Toji’s last chance to give you the final say. If you told him no, he would turn his car around and lick his wounds later. Explaining to Megumi what happened between the two of you would be a pain in the ass, and getting used to you not being by his side would be hard to get over, but he could do it… at least he thought so. He would try his hardest to avoid that outcome.
“Fine. See you in twenty minutes. To talk ,” you acquiesced.
“Right. See you.”
He was one lucky son of a bitch.
Toji might’ve been speeding since he made it to your apartment in 10 minutes instead. It’s been months since he’s been in there, the last time being when he helped you pack up a few boxes to put in his house. When he climbed up to your floor and knocked on your door, you cracked the entrance open to look at him. You didn’t open the door all the way, instead using your body to block the rest of your space.
“Aren’t you going to let me in? You said that I could come,” he said.
You rubbed your forehead. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
You looked exactly how he imagined. A satin bonnet covering your head, a big, loose t-shirt from an old rock band, bare legs, and fuzzy socks. It was your nighttime uniform that he’s seen a thousand times before. He just wished it was his shirt instead. “Want anything to drink?”
You . “No,” Toji grunted, following into your space and closing the door.
Your apartment looked like you had never left. It’s like he didn’t even make a dent in your life like you did his. You walked over to the kitchen, pulling out some health drink you were obsessed with. He bought that exact flavor when he saw it at the store just to see if it had grown on him. It didn’t, but he drank it down. He stared at your fingers and hands, then your neck as the liquid moved through you. His favorite place to leave a mark on your skin was bare.
“Aren’t you gonna say something?” You questioned after licking your lips clean. Toji cleared his throat.
“I’m going to therapy now,” he announced with no preamble. Your eyebrows raised up in an instant. You had no idea what he was going to say, but it definitely wasn’t this.
“Th–that’s good. Really good, Toji. How is it going?”
“It’s not the condescending bullshit I thought it was going to be.”
You gave him a small smile. “So it's not that bad. I’m really proud of you. I could’ve recommended it till I was blue in the face but actually going and being consistent is where all the hard work lies.”
“It’s not that hard. Should’ve gone sooner.” Toji cuffed the back of his neck that was heating up from your praise. He couldn’t even look at your face, instead focusing on your fuzzy socks moving around. “I didn’t know how much I was bottling up.”
You reached for his hand to hold it. It was a simple gesture, something that you have done a million times before, yet Toji’s heart hammered in his chest like it wanted to jump out. “I’m glad you're having a great experience. I mean it. I also went back to therapy myself to work some things out internally.”
You tried to return your hand back to your side but Toji wrapped around your wrist, pulling you till you laid flush on his body and you used your other hand to prop yourself up on his chest. Your legs slotted between his and he trapped you there, holding you tighter.
“Toji,” you gasped. Your nose was full of him, you were so close you could count his lashes. He was too close, too soon, but you didn’t push him away.
“You’ve always been better when it comes to voicing your emotions. You’re perfect.”
“You are the only person in the world that thinks that,” you laughed. “I was a major hothead before we met.” Your giggles died out when Toji’s lips ghosted over yours. It made your lips twitch with how near he was with no contact.
“Toji… You came to just talk, remember?”
“Tell me how proud you of me are again, ” he stated unashamedly. You sucked a sharp breath in when his free hand slipped under your t-shirt, starting at the middle of your thigh, grazing up to your waist. Warm hands that could lull you to sleep now set your body ablaze. You should’ve told him to stop when his fingers went south, brushing past your pubic hair before dipping into your sex. You should’ve told him to stop when he used two fingers to stretch you out, hissing at how tight you because you haven't done it in a while. Hell, you should’ve told him no when he called you to come over because you knew how it would end up. Instead you locked lips with him, hiking your leg up to his waist so he had better access, giving him the praise he wanted to hear.
“I’m proud of you,” you whispered in his ear before licking the shell of it. You combed his nape and started to grind into his hand, using his palm to rub on your swollen clit while he curled around the spot that made you bend to him.
“You’re doing so well Toji, just like that.”
“Fuck,” he groaned. He wanted to taste you, he wanted to fuck you. You already had that glazed look in your eyes, about to reach your climax soon. Tonight you were extremely sensitive, shivering to every touch, gripping him like a vice. His fingers were drenched, and when he put his thumb over the silky mess covering your clit you tipped over the edge, your legs shaking so hard he held you up under your knee to keep you from falling over.
You only caught your breath for a moment before you went to his pants, fumbling over his belt and pulling him out of pants. Toji pressed you up against the nearest wall, giving you just enough time to throw your shirt off before he smashed his lips on yours. You cupped his face, afraid that he would pull away as he lined himself up with your entrance. Breathy moans filled the quiet apartment when he finally fit himself inside of you. Toji has missed this feeling of you around him more than he had thought. No amount of jerking off with a clothing article of yours that you left behind would have satisfied him. The sounds that you made, the soft gasps and mewling couldn’t be replicated. He fucked you up the wall, holding one of your legs up so he could snap into you over and over again, the toes of your second leg barely touching the floor anymore.
“Faster, faster,” you begged. You hugged around his neck tightly, and when you pulled away to look at him you were met with his pupils dilated. There was a rosy flush on his cheeks that was lovely to see. You were worried that if you saw Toji again he would not be interested in you anymore. It has never felt so good to be so wrong. You brushed his hair out of his eyes to look at him more clearly and traced his lips with your thumb. Pushing your thumb past his lips, you ran it over his bottom teeth and he held it gently with the top one. You pulled your thumb out, then used your index and middle finger to push down on his tongue, watching the pink muscle move around in his mouth. He did well without gagging, and for that you murmured a “good boy” to him. All the blood in Toji’s body went straight to his dick after hearing those words. If he went any harder he would’ve broken through the wall.
“Open your mouth,” you ordered. You really didn’t need to, as your fingers were still down his throat but you took them out slightly so he could widen his lips. You spat in his mouth and closed it immediately with a harsh kiss, your teeth bumping each other. You hugged him tightly once once, wrapping your arms around the top of his shoulders and tried your best to match his strokes in the position. Never have you been fucked on a vertical surface, and for a fleeting moment you felt bad for your next door neighbor. Toji’s teeth teasing the skin on your collarbone quickly made it a secondary thought.
“I’m gonna come,” you warned. “Come with me?”
Toji nodded, his nose bumping yours. The place where you were connected was a mess, your essence staining the front of his pants. The tinkle of his belt loop added a musical quality to the claps of your bodies meeting each other.
Just like you had hoped you came at the same time. Soft yet heavy pants replaced the other sounds crescendo you just made. You could feel Toji softening inside of you, and he slowly slid himself out of your cunt with a sigh that you second. There was no way for him or you to comfortably stay connected while standing up, fucking was already hard enough. You cupped your sex, catching the come that was starting to drip out of you when Toji brought damp paper towels to clean you up. You wanted to collapse on the floor at the end of it.
Toji carried you to your couch per your request. You admitted that you still had some of his clothes, and there were his sweats in your closet if he wanted to change his pants when he put you down. You laid on your stomach, stretching your legs as far out as you can, praying that you wouldn’t catch a cramp. When you gained some feeling in your legs that wasn’t static you took a peek at Toji when he walked back in. He was staring down at you, waiting for your reaction. He wasn’t a fool that would believe that sex would fix everything, but it wouldn’t hurt if it reconciled something between the two of you.
“I want to preface this by saying I do not regret what we did,” you started. You wanted to address the elephant in the room before it crushed you. Toji got down on one knee to be at your level when you spoke and you smiled. Unknowingly he was such a gentleman but he didn’t see himself that way.
“I don’t regret it either,” Toji agreed. If it was up to him he’d fuck you again and stay the night. He knew that would be asking for too much but a man can dream.
“Right… but I don’t think we should get back together. Not yet.” You nervously bit your lip. You dared a glance at him and his face was unreadable.
“We’re working on ourselves, trying to get better. I really do think we’re benefitting from the intimate time apart. I swear I’m not trying to be an asshole when I say this, but I think we should be friends first.”
Toji was silent for a few minutes. You were so worried that you poked his arm to get some kind of response. “I still get to see you?”
“Yes,” said slowly, as if you were afraid he would change his mind suddenly.
“And we can eat meals together?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Are you still going to drag me to see movies during the daytime?”
You scoffed. “It’s cheaper and has less people!”
Toji gave you a shy grin. It slowly melted off of his face, making you ask what’s wrong.
“You’re not in love with me anymore.”
You sat up from the couch, putting your hand over Toji’s that rested on the brown leather. It wasn’t a simple answer. The love you had for Toji could not be given to anybody else. You only had room for him in your heart. Trying to pretend that you didn’t, moving on before you were ready backfired, and Gojo got the worst of it. Not that Toji needed to know, but when Toru kissed you, you realized that you never had romantic feelings for him. All you could think about was what Toji was doing, but you were the one who left. It was unfair to Gojo.
“I still love you, and I do think we can make this work if we do it the right way. We are in fragile states right now, and if we mix a relationship in it we might blow up like we did before. What I'm saying is; let’s take this slow. There’s no rush, right?”
“You’re right.” You were asking for a fresh start and Toji could do that. You were trying so hard for him, and he was willing to do the same. He would earn you back eventually. However long it takes.
Thank you so so so much for reading!! Any interactions are appreciated!!
Part One
M.list || Twitter || Ao3
#minimoe#momowritings#jjk#black fem reader#x black reader#toji fushiguro#jjk fanfic#toji x reader#heavy smut#jjk toji#fushiguro toji#toji#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x you#toji smut#fushiguro#toji angst#mamagumi#mamaguro#jjk fushiguro#dilf toji
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Hi! I saw that your requests are open and I read your rules. Can I request a Theordore Nott with a Hufflepuff reader? A Hufflepuff who is quiet, but not shy. Like she speaks when spoken too or whenever she deems it necessary. Maybe they get grouped together in a project or something where they cross paths. Preferably fluff. Thanks love
You're feisty.
Summary - a study session ends with a confession.
Pairing - Theodore Nott x Hufflepuff! reader.
Word count - 775.
Note - I think I strayed a little and my work is rusty, I've written after a long break. I hope you like it.
Warnings - none.
Being in hufflepuff was a good as well as tiring experience. Your housemates were cheerful and had a positive vibe, most of them were smart and badass but to others, you guys were portrayed as a bunch of smiles and laughs. The most common assumption that other houses had regarding you was that they thought you were shy, sweet and naive but you are not, you are just quiet and enjoy your alone time. It was a given that most of them who tried to bother you or make fun of you were pleasantly shut down and put into place. And on such days, your friend Hannah would find you in a sour mood.
“What happened now?” She asked curiously after seeing your grumpy expression. You shook your head and mouthed ‘potions’. That was enough for her to guess what might have happened. You shared potions with the Slytherins and one of them always bothered you because he considered himself as an expert in the subject just because of his house when in reality he was not. As you guys were about to sit down and relax, someone's footsteps caught your attention. To your left stood Theo, the boy with whom you were paired up, courtesy of professor Snape.
“Need to discuss something.” He said plainly and turned around. You didn't know what he was expecting but still stood up to follow him. Hannah looked at you with wide eyes and a smirk, knowing well about your crush on the tall boy. “Out of my league.” You would say but she was convinced that he liked you back.
Theodore led you to one of the quiet spots in the library. You took a seat in front of the windows while he wandered off to select the books needed for the potions assignment. After a few minutes he came back with not one but three thick books making you chuckle and the tall Slytherin graced you with a rare smile of his own. It made your heart flutter.
“All good, badger? You sure this is a study session and not a tutoring program for yourself?” A nasty voice interrupted your study session. You were too deep in the books to notice him the first time.
“What do you want, Codnor? We're busy here.” Theo said to his housemate. The boy continued to stare at the two of you until you finally snapped.
“Codnor, please go to madam pomfrey and get your eyes checked. They're stuck at our table, I think that might be a serious issue.” He looked at you with a very displeased expression but before he could retaliate, Theo had gotten up and made him leave.
When he returned, he saw you mumbling and couldn't hold back his laugh. “Stop it.” You whispered angrily. Theo raised his hands in surrender and took his seat. “You know [Y/N], there's something about you that I might've guessed wrong.”
“What?” You looked at him confused.
“I thought that you were one of those shy ones but you're not. You're feisty. I like that. I like you more now.” An awkward moment followed after his unexpected words. Theo cleared his throat and tried to find the right words.
“What do you mean, Theo? You're not teasing me, are you? Because that's a little evil considering you know how I feel.”
“No. I'm not. I'd never.” He reassured you. “And I know about how you feel.”
For the first time since you reached Hogwarts, you saw Theo at a loss of words. “Are you saying that you feel the same?” You asked him quietly, hesitantly.
“Merlin! Yes. I am not good with words but I'll try. [Y/N] [Y/L/N], i am infatuated with you, your personality and intelligence add to your charm. Will you do me a favour by being my girlfriend and making me the happiest man alive?” He forwarded his hand, palm up, to you.
You blinked in shock then did a little dance while sitting on the chair because you couldn't shout in the library. “Yes. A thousand times yes.” You placed your hand in his. He brought it up to his lips and placed a chaste kiss at the back of your hand.
The rest of the afternoon went away peacefully and by the end of it, you ended up in Theo's lap, sharing your first kiss.
THE END.
#writers on tumblr#theodore nott x reader#𝐣 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬#theo nott one shot#theo nott x reader#lorenzo zurzolo#harry potter#theo nott fanfiction#slytherpuff#slytherin boys#slytherin x hufflepuff#requests
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A guardian angel who’s been with her charge for years. They practically grew up together, and ever since she realized she could see her, they’ve both been there for each other. Keeping her safe from the dark, telling her jokes on boring car rides, supporting her in transition. They’re like best friends or sisters, and even if they Angel isn’t around 24/7(everyone needs privacy now and then. Girls do, and even angels do), she’s only a name away.
And so she’s not entirely surprised when she’s called to chat on her charges smoke break. Manifesting her form in a grimy alley behind the shitty restaurant she’s been working at, calling out a few lines about the virtues of patience and humility, and how she should really quit smoking. What is a surprise is her girl grabbing the back of her neck and muttering “Angel, I need some *real* relief right now. Not just pretty words”. They’ve never touched like this before. And her voice has never been so gravely and full of… want. And so the angels first experience today in the physical world is her bare knees grating against the damp and grimy concrete, hands against the faded concrete, whimpering and grinding her hips as her charge, the girl she’s been with for years, uses the hand not holding a cigarette to fuck her throat until the angels nose is buried in her crotch~ it smells like sweat and precum and grease and smoke, this is far beyond what an angel, especially a *guardian* should do but fuck it just feels so good
The five minute break seems to stretch to eternity until a final shove hilts every inch of tired, underpaid girldick into her angelic throat, and the angel has her first whimpering shuddering pathetic orgasm at the feeling of her humans cum coating her mouth from throat to tongue, dripping the last remnants of it onto her eager lips. “Fuck honey, that was amazing. Look, my shifts about to start again but. You teleport to our place when im done, and I’ll make it up to you ok? Thanks for always being there for me” her girl says with a soft kiss to the cheek before turning quickly into the back door of the building, almost managing to hide her neon blush in the process
It takes a fair few minutes for the angel to collect herself. Dusting off her bruised knees, shyly licking the last of the cum off her lips and hands. Trying to get any remaining ash or dust off her robes. That was definitely more than a guardian was allowed to do. But she hardly cares. All that matters is the thought of her charge coming home and fucking her senseless again ❤️
#something without gore or angst!!! unheard of#both girls have years of unresolved tension and after this story they date and love each other and have sweaty tgirl siscon sex forever#and live happily every after btw. that is all <3
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FAIRYHAOS TURNS ONE YEAR OLD ?!??? 🤍
good morning guess what!!!! today marks the 1-year anniversary of user fairyhaos 🥰🥰
crazy to think that one whole year ago, i was making this account and posted a svt hc for the first time and, now, 365 days later, ive grown and become a blog that's frankly astonishing in size. i just wanted to say thank you to all of u for being here with me! i did not expect this blog to grow at the startling and amazing rate in which it did, and im so grateful because it's because of all of you that this has happened. <3
from little platonic headcanons to follower events to having a tracked tag to even making gifs now (!!! how did that even happen pls) ive learned so much during this year alone, and it's been utterly incredible to go on this journey with all of you 🫶 you all mean so much to me, truly.
i was thinking of maybe doing something for this day, but im gonna be honest, i couldn't think of anything 😭 but just know that i love u all a great deal and if there's anything that u wanna do to celebrate, im all ears!! you're all so, so precious to me, and i really do want to do something to celebrate this blog's birthday!
and ofc, is this really an celebration post by fairyhaos if i don't talk about my moots?? you've all made the experience here even more wonderful and im rather ia these days (cries) but i miss u and im thinking of all of u always ^_^
@etherealyoungk @weird-bookworm @rubywonu @blue-jisungs @haecien @slytherinshua @icyminghao @wheeboo @eternalgyu @y-ves @trblsvt @idubiluv @odxrilove @arafilez @soonhoonsol @dalkyeom @gyuswhore @hannieheartuu @h-ao @hannyoontify @jeonsupershy @jeonwon-wonwoo @kyeomyun @leech4ns @chwedout @vcrnons @boosari @meowonhao-main @mesanthropi @mirxzii @17isrighthere @wonwoonlight : u are all the people who mean theee most to me, and im so grateful to have known all of you!! 💗
and how can i forget everyone else? thank you to everyone: all of my readers, all of my anons - named or not - and anyone who's ever interacted w me, my fics, my gifs, anything at all.
one year with this blog... insane. you've all brought me unspeakable amounts of joy in this year alone, and i hope to be able to give that back to u all tenfold in the future 🫶
💌 - yena xx
#fairyhaos.txt#js it too early in the morning to get all sentimental? yes. but im doing it anyway.#friends <3#userzaynab#cheytermelon#literally cannot express how crazy everything thay happened in this year is#like???????? the amount of people ive connected with??????#i love u guys so much. im so serious.
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I've experienced suicidal ideation since I was about 8 years old and got very close to attempting I think 3 times? I'm overall doing pretty well right now and it's been a few years since I seriously considered attempting, but I don't expect the thoughts to ever completely go away. I've got a lot of opinions as to what people can do to help, here are a few thoughts:
1. Just fucking *be there.* The biggest harm reduction tool I use is to just avoid being alone when I feel shit getting bad. Just offering to be around can go such a long way. If you're worried about a friend, ask to do homework together, start watching a show together, ask to come over after work and make dinner together. They may or may not be up to saying yes, but at least they know they have that option if they want it.
2. Relatedly, you can do small things to help them take care of themself. Showering and cleaning and eating vegetables all make me feel better but can also be incredibly daunting. Having a buddy helps. You can bring your friend some good leftovers (that they don't *have* to eat, maybe you just made too much), offer to help them fold laundry or pick up their room together while you chat, or call them before you plan to shower yourself to remind them to shower, too.
3. Send low-pressure reminders that you're thinking of them. Getting a "Hey, how are you doing?" text when I'm really in the thick of it? Awful. Way too much pressure to respond. Getting a "I made a new playlist if u wanna listen"? Huge! Just sending a meme or texting something about a show you both like is a great way to remind a friend you're thinking of them without making it all intense.
4. Don't make a big deal out of someone self harming, and never fucking shame them for it. When I self harm it's a way to divert my overwhelming negative feelings into something that isn't killing myself. It's a coping mechanism, and has genuinely saved my life. You will not get someone to stop self harming by expressing your worry or disapproval. If they want to talk about it, hear them out. Otherwise, it's not your fucking business.
Thank you Devon for opening up this discussion. I hope my experiences can be of some help, and I can't wait to read your piece on this.
This is amazing, thank you so much ♥️
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Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??
I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?
Hey hey!
Thank you so much!
I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!
(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)
I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)
2020
I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.
2021
Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.
2022
This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.
2023
And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!
Now here comes some actual advice, haha:
What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!
I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.
Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!
I have a pinterest board with many more!
One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.
This is a great video on it:
6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko
Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!
And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!
I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)
#responding to these has made me realize how much I love helping you guys out#it's genuinely really fun and I just hope it's actually helpful haha#my art#art advice#art resources#ask#anon
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So! I've gotten a host of messages and asks regarding recent disk horse and I wanted to address them as a collective. I know I have anon asks off, I won't share your URLs, but I do want to thank you for asking and clarifying some of the frankly vile things people have been saying about me, my girlfriend, and friends. I value those of you who offered your words of support, and didn't jump to believe screenshots taken out of context and lies written with the utmost confidence and none of the facts. I am a little tired of having my morals questioned and my views conflated with every single person I associate with, but there it goes.
Some questions and answers under the cut. Feel free to continue asking and I'll do my best to answer.
tumblr user cpericardium suspiciously silent on the subject of Gaza: does this mean you support ethnic cleansing???
My reticence when it comes to posting about topics like I/P is because:
-This is a fandom blog intended for lighter topics, except maybe the occasional vent about life stuff, which I usually hide under a cut. I don't have sideblogs. They seem tough to maintain and I don't post nearly enough to justify it. If I were to make one it would be for another fandom or maybe just the freakier bugs. I simply prefer my social media experience to be stress-free.
-Anti-slacktivism. It's a documented thing: posting about an issue makes you feel like you're doing something, you get that little shot of dopamine, so you don't actually go out and do something that effects meaningful change. I'm trying to do less of that. I'm good with the friends and people I follow who choose to post about it and this is a strictly personal belief, but when I engage in activism, it is offline or it is a donation. You're not going to hear about it.
But don't you reblog lgbt and women's rights posts?
Yeah, and that's usually when I want to save a post for one reason or another (e.g. to talk about with someone on discord later). The bottom line is that the main purpose of my blog is not to post political takes or to spread awareness of anything. It is just a collection of my interests (fan stuff, bugs) and hopefully a way to share those interests with like-minded people.
No.
I will state my views clearly for the record: I support Palestine. The ongoing genocide is heartbreaking and so is the violence against protestors. Additionally, I am against antisemitism and the harassment of Jewish people in the name of supporting Palestine. This shouldn't even need to be said.
Is your girlfriend a Zionist?
Does she support Zionists?
No.
Wasn't she in the military?
Yes, years ago.
But the military is evil?
It is. She's extremely hardcore anti-war, does not believe the US should even have an army, and actively PMs strangers on reddit to try to convince them to not make the same mistake. If they're dead set anyway, she gives them detailed advice on how to survive. Because she actually cares about the human cost of war, not the social clout gained from shunning or sneering at people who make wrongheaded choices. I have seen her doing this, seen her seeking to understand their reasons for joining so she can systematically explain—from personal experience!—why they're not going to get any of that out of the army. It is a hell of a lot more effective than bitching them out or writing callout posts or starting whisper campaigns about them. She cannot delete those years of her life no matter how much she regrets them. There is only forward. I think we can all agree on that.
But what about all those things she said. "I regret nothing, I have no qualms, VA nipple money etc."
Well you have to understand that while of generally upright character, she is a bit of a scamp. She believes she fundamentally should not have to explain herself to randos who do not know her, who have never, not once, interacted with her, who are clearly digging for dirt and will twist anything she says no matter how banal. People see what they want to see and they look for evidence to reinforce their preconceptions; they'll go so far as to make alts to join servers, cherry-pick screencaps, crop them, and conveniently fill in the rest of the narrative for curious onlookers. So she decided to exaggerate and amplify and twirl her mustache like a supervillain. Give them a show, as it were.
To be clear, I'm not sold on this strat because it makes her look cartoonishly evil to people who can't understand sarcasm and hyperbole. But her friends and I are aware of her actual beliefs and also that she did not in fact do those things people imagine she did. And isn't that what matters? Real-life harm? Do you even care?
Re: screenshots
She addresses them here.
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when you ask a restaurant for spicy food and instead of cooking it in a way that makes the end result hotter they just obliterate all the flavor by dumping heaps of sriracha all over it after the fact
#i will and have literally just thrown the whole dish away and started over somewhere else#if u dump Sriracha all over something to make it spicy I'm never ordering anything spicy from u again#like. are u tasting this..? is this a balance of flavors to you..? 🧍🏾♀️ if you must use sriracha can u at least use it towards the end of#the actual cooking process itself so it has time to mix with other flavors and seasoning? i cannot taste anything else!!#u might as well have cooked it plain then dumped this all over it for all I care ૮ – ﻌ–ა where are the sauces the salsas the array of spices#you can make things hot AND flavorful 🤌🏾 you can make something spicy AND nuanced#anyways I'm thinking about this bc i ordered spicy mapo tofu and it is spicier in a way i can't pin down And has a stronger#peppercorn flavor ☝🏾 this is how u handle spicy food perfectly‚ imo. it is my view that you have experience with the different#spices n seasonings and subsequent sauces if you can make that spicy during the actual cooking process#and idk shows more intention and care to the cooking process To Me and the spicy lvl is taken into consideration from the start#i KIND OF fw Sriracha but i think it becomes overpowering very quickly‚ i just want a few light globs of it at a time#an Accent of Sriracha 🤌🏾 a taste that is present and pronounced but doesn't take away from anything else#i take my cooking and spicy food seriously ૮ – ﻌ–ა there are SO many good ways to make ur food hotter. this ain't it#it's 4am and I'm about to go to sleep so these r just late night ramblings of a girl picking at her leftovers like this is it.. peak spicy#a truly well executed dish 🤌🏾 thank you i love you. satisfying..
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SSR Epel Felmier - Platinum Jacket Vignette
"Happy 100th Anniversary"
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Epel: I'd been hearin' this place was just some fancy museum, 'cept it's way huger 'n I thought.
Epel: We ain't got a museum back home, so… Seein' all these paintin's hangin' 'bout's just crazy!
???: Look at that apple, it's so red and shiny! Totally looks photo-worthy ♪
Epel: Ah, Cater-san! Yeah, it's a really beautiful apple, huh. Although, it's pretty hard to get them this red even with a ton of effort.
Cater: Eh, really? Epel-chan, you sure know your apples ♪
Epel: Ehehe, that's because I'm from a family of apple farmers. I don't think anyone knows more than me when it comes to apples!
Cater: I see～
Cater: Y'know, the queen here looks like she's talking with the crow as she offers it the apple. What do you think she's saying?
Cater: Since even someone well-versed in the world of apples like you thought it's a great looking one, thinking she's saying something like, "Doesn't it look delicious?"
Epel: Nah. I think she's saying, "It's not for you!"
Cater: Eh! So mean!
Epel: Well, yeah!! Like, back home, we'd always have crows trying to nab our apples…
Epel: They'd damage them, poke holes in them, drop them half-eaten on the ground…
Epel: I can't stand them for treating our delicious apples like that!!
Epel: It'd be bad if we couldn't ship out our apples, so the village would band together every year to try to keep them crows out.
Cater: THE WHOLE VILLAGE!? Must be a pretty touch sitch. What kinda stuff do you do to get rid of them?
Epel: We'd put up nets, or make noises that the crows wouldn't like… And a bunch of other stuff.
Epel: But those guys are pretty smart, so we can only get rid of them for a short time… They always come back once they realize they're not in danger.
Epel: That's why whenever them crows came back, I'd jump on my broom and hoot 'n holler while chasing after them!
Cater: You'd hoot and holler while chasing after them!? Based on how petite you look, I couldn't imagine you doing something like that…
Epel: If I don't give them a good scare, they'll just keep coming back.
Epel: A few of the crows were more persistent, so I'd get worried that I'd run out of magic while trying to chase them.
Epel: But, thanks to all that, in the end, whenever I was in the orchard, the crows wouldn't come anywhere near it!
Cater: Pretty amazing of you to scare away all those annoying crows that had the whole village in a bind ♪
Epel: Eheheh, thank you.
Cater: If we're talking about when you were back home, that means this all happened before you came here, right? So basically, would you say you're a pretty good flier, Epel-chan?
Epel: Yep! The guys in the Magical Shift club'll praise me up and down for being able to chase down erratic discs.
Cater: Niiice, all your experiences with those crows are probably coming in handy, then.
Epel: Oh, when you put it that way, I guess so…!
Epel: I thought they were just a pain in my side, but… Those crows were useful in their own way too, I guess?
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Cater: This painting… It's a scene from the tales of the kind-hearted princess. Ahh, a nighttime date on a magical flying carpet is so romantic ♪
Epel: Is that what this is? Oh, the magic carpet is holding something. Is this… a flower?
Epel: It's really drawn so lifelike. It looks like it was just freshly picked…
Cater: Ahaha. So I take it you're more interested in fresh flowers than a romantic date, Epel-chan?
Epel: I-I mean, when weeds are pulled out, they shrivel up pretty fast…
Epel: And even cut flowers need to be put into a vase as soon as possible, or it loses its vibrancy.
Cater: Really? Looks like you're just as in the know about plants as you are with apples.
Epel: Ehehe. I'm studying really hard right now so that I can be more useful to my village whenever I head back home.
Epel: I've been working on potions that'll keep plants from withering, or help them grow…
Epel: Recently, I've been growing my own plants so I can test my potions on them.
Epel: I panicked a bit when one of the pots broke when I was in the middle of testing out a new potion…
Cater: Eh!? You saying that it grew crazy fast, or something!?
Epel: Oh, no, no! I can't make potions that great yet, or with any effect, really…
Epel: Basically, it just fell because one of my roommates bumped their hand into it while they were getting ready for class.
Cater: Did you get hurt at all? It'd be bad if our cute little Epel-chan got injured!
Epel: Cute…!? …Urgh, yes, I was fine.
Epel: I had to clean up the broken pot and scattered dirt, so I was more worried about being late to class.
Epel: I planned on hitting up the school store afterwards to get another pot, since I didn't have any spares…
Epel: But Jack-kun, my classmate, shared one of his spare pots! I was able to move my plant into that one right away.
Cater: Hm? Why did Jack-kun…? Oh, right. He raises cacti, right?
Epel: Yeah! How did you know?
Cater: I remembered him posting a picture of a cactus on Magicam once. There wasn't any description, so I didn't really get what the picture was supposed to be of at first…
Epel: That must have been the cactus that Jack-kun's been growing, yeah.
Epel: He really tries to take good care of it, and had spare pots laying around.
Epel: So, when I said I broke my own plant's pot, he gave one to me, saying it was in return for some apples I gave him once.
Epel: Cater-san, are there are plants that you take care of?
Cater: Hmmm, I mean, there's a ton of plants in my dorm. But I don't think I'd ever really get around to raising some myself.
Epel: Yeah, it really takes time and effort to raise plants.
Epel: That's why it feels double awesome whenever the plant's flowers bloom or fruit grow!
[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]
Epel: Oh hey, it's a painting of the Queen of Hearts! Both she and the animals on her shoulder look pretty proud of themselves.
Cater: It says that this is a painting depicting the scene where the Queen of Hearts had just secured her victory in a croquet match.
Cater: According to legend, the Queen of Hearts was able to hit shots that just curved right into the hoops.
Epel: Shots that curved right into the hoops!? I can't even do that when I aim for them… She's awesome!
Cater: Oh, so you've played croquet before?
Epel: Yes! Last weekend, Ace and Deuce asked me to help them practice.
Epel: Grim-kun and [Yuu]-san also joined us. It was supposed to just be practice, but we kinda ended up playing an actual match…
Epel: Hehe, we really got into it then.
Epel: By the time we finished the game, we were all so hungry. So we all just went to Foothill Town to eat.
Cater: Niiice～ Ah, so young and carefree. And let me guess, you guys went to a hamburger joint?
Epel: Eh, how did you know!?
Cater: When it comes to a joint in town that's affordable even for students, I can't really think of anything much other than that chain restaurant～
Epel: Oh yeah, Ace-kun said something like that too. But it's not like I knew of the restaurant before I came to Sage's Island.
Cater: Are you more the type to avoid fast food hamburger joints?
Epel: I wouldn't say I avoid them… It's a bit of a car ride to get to their closest chain back home, so I haven't had much opportunity to go, is all.
Cater: Oh wow. I totally thought they had a place set up pretty much everywhere, since it's even on this remote island.
Epel: Yeah… When I told Ace-kun and Deuce-kun, they were pretty surprised as well.
Epel: Until those two told me, I didn't even know that they did free refills at this restaurant...
Cater: Hm? I mean, I don't think it's just that one joint that does that, but the whole chain.
Epel: Eh, you mean that's not something only here at Sage's Island!?
Epel: Then that means I could have had free refills in the restaurant I went to back home… I didn't know at all.
Epel: What a waste, I'd only ever get one drink whenever I'd go. I'll have to let my family know next time I head back home.
Cater: Yeah, yeah. Whenever there's free refills, it's so easy to just lounge there forever, too～
Epel: Yeah! And that day, we got really caught up in conversation that it started to get dark… We had to hurry back to campus.
Cater: Oh, I see, I see. Well, thanks for getting along with my little freshie brethren.
Epel: What, you don't need to thank me! I had a ton of fun hanging with them.
Epel: Ah, wait, I'm sorry, I've kept you here a while now!
Cater: Don't worry about it, I was happy to chat with you ♪ I think I'll head off to the museum's café now.
Cater: I heard their menu is themed after the various exhibits here, so. See ya around, Epel-chan.
Epel: Right, see ya. …Well, Vil-san told me to learn a thing or two about beauty while I'm here, so I guess I'll go look around for a painting of the Fairest Queen.
Epel: Oh hey, there's another painting with an apple on it! This one looks really tasty, too.
Epel: Oh yeah, I remember when I was a kid, I heard the story of how the Fairest Queen cast her magic on apples, and would try to pretend to do the same.
Epel: And I'd chant… "Now, turn red. Tempt anyone and everyone to make them hunger for a bite…"
Requested by Anonymous.
#twisted wonderland#twst#epel felmier#cater diamond#twst epel#twst cater#twst translation#twst birthday#mention: jack#mention: ace#mention: deuce#mention: grim#mention: yuu#mention: vil
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They literally put Edwin through every possible gay-romance trope but made it realistic and that's so special to me like
we got the "probably former friend can't handle feelings and turns into bully instead" but it doesn't end with them, making up and being happy, they break apart, things escalate and they both suffer from that situation for a major part of their existence. With a bit of luck and a LOT of growing they manage to talk it out and the victim finds it in himself to forgive his bully but it's never going to be truly fine. But even though they both suffer tremendously, they are faced to deal with themselves in the process and find a kind of peace they wouldn't have gotten otherwise. Because maybe it's better to hurt for a long time only to realise that it really doesn't have to be torture to be the way you are and finally freeing yourself entirely than quietly live without the conflict but also without the realisation and resenting yourself for its entirety.
then there's the situation with the cat king. Older, emotionally unstable guy obsesses over younger inexperienced guy who actually understands him and causes some sort of gay awakening. But instead of some "I can fix him" bullshit with them, ending up happily ever after because "they're the only ones who understand each other"TM we get to see Edwin set boundaries and standing up for himself which benefits the both of them. For Edwin this ends in going "Hey thank you for opening that door to discovering that part of myself but I'm actually gonna have to leave you at the doorstep now" and for the cat king it ends up with him actually feeling seen because for once somebody didn't fall for his probably usual game of "I'm bored so I'm going to make a game of getting that guy to do what i want by seducing him". The fact that they don't end up together is the reason they were good for each other.
Also the situation with Monty which is basically the experience of a lot of queer peoples first relationship. They meet and they're both somehow new to all of this. Being queer, relationships, all that stuff. And they get along and share some interests, they like soending time with each other and technically it's like in a romance book because they meet and one of them is immediately interested and then they talk and they sit on a swingset and they kiss. And there's the excitement about "apparently I'm making my first experience with romance right now" and the worry of "I'm queer...I have it harder with relationships...what if this is the best option i have? what if it's the only one?" so they go through all the romance book tropes but the spark simply isn't there and it ends in one of them getting way more invested tha the other and they eventually end up breaking up in blood. But in a way both of them got an idea about what they actually want in life out of it so even if that sone didn't end well, it did give them something.
And last but not least the "in love with best friend who likes someone else/someone of the opposite gender specifically" but instead of having that best friend be secretly in love with the character all along or suddenly turn homophobic and the friendship being ruined they talk about it and they move on and the friendship isn't damaged and in a way it might even be better because sometimes our feelings are unrequited and sometimes that's okay.
I just really really love how the show took all of those options for cheesy and in a way sometimes even forced romance tropes and went "hey, life is not a romance novel but actually that kind of makes it better because look where it got you now"
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Weekly Recap | April 22nd-May 5th 2024
I'm back!!! You get two weeks worth of fic since I went on vacation last week! :)
Complete
up down jump around by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (7x06: There Goes The Groom, Karaoke | 1,6K | Teen): Buck appears out of nowhere, crashing into the seat next to him and landing half on top of him. “We should go,” he says. Eddie frowns. “Go where? I thought you wanted to party?” Buck rolls his eyes, exaggerated in a way that tells him Buck is not on his first beer. “No, I mean, we should go next,” he says, and makes a sweeping gesture in the direction of the karaoke setup.
hold your breath and feel the tension by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (9-1-1/Lone Star Crossover, Getting Together | 17K | Teen): Following the arson attack at TK and Carlos' apartment, some of the 126 decide to visit LA for a while to unwind, hanging out with the 118 crew. Buck absolutely is not having feelings about the friendship between Marjan and Eddie. No matter what TK might think he knows.
Eddie's Housewife by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie buys Buck an apron and dish gloves. Accidentally makes Buck his housewife. Realizes he's in love with Buck. All in that order.
know all the ways to appreciate your design (I'm a damn good lover) by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Bachelor Party, Buck/Tommy, PWP | 3K | Explicit): He’s a beautiful man, don’t you think? Have you ever wondered what it would be like? Even a little bit? You have, haven’t you? Or: the one where Tommy is here for a good time, not a long time; Buck really likes it when he runs his mouth; and Eddie...well, Eddie doesn't have a clue
just another deathbed confession by actualalligator/ @actualalligator (Near Death Experience | 2K | Teen): Buck ends up buried when the floor gives out underneath him on a call. He calls 9-1-1 and demands to speak to Maddie.
Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Threesome, BuckTommyEddie | 39K | Explicit): In which everyone has two hands and two holes and is keeping their options fluid. (Or: a collection of threesome fics.)
5. You Knew We'd End Up Here (Daddy Kink): Eddie was raised to say 'thank you' when someone gifts him nice things like ringside seats and helicopter rides. Buck likes honorifics and being good. And Tommy likes when men who look like Buck and Eddie do as he tells them. (Or: three scenes in the evolution of Buck, Eddie, and Tommy's relationship, all united by one particular word.)
6. But Mr. Pilot I Don't Have Any Money: Buck might not have the money to spare, but he's sure he can find a way to pay Tommy for a helicopter lesson... In completely unrelated news, Eddie has a key to Buck's apartment and a habit of dropping by.
yeehaw [revisited] by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (BuckTommy, PWP | 2K | Explicit): “Do you have a trampstamp?” Buck asks, looking at where the sunlight hits his skin perfectly, highlighting the faint, small, black text - too small for Buck to see exactly what it says from here. Tommy merely huffs a laugh into the crook of his neck, eyes still likely closed as he places a deep, languid, lazy kiss to the base of Buck’s jawline. “Mhm,” he hums. “I was wondering when you’d notice that,” he adds with another exhale of amusement.
🔥 If You Said I Do I Would Too by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Fake Marriage | 5K | General): Eddie starts telling people Buck’s his husband to get out of annoying flirting situations on calls. Buck starts to like it a little too much.
this could be the year for the real thing by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Coda, 7x06: There Goes The Groom | 1,7K | Teen): His face is still a smear of soot, and Chris giggles. “Buck. Your face.” Buck frowns in confusion and Eddie steps over to him, hand already reaching to wipe the soot off his face, just like he has a hundred times at work. Except Tommy’s already there, licking his thumb and rubbing firmly at Buck’s chin, a gesture so familiar to Eddie that watching it happen separate from him feels like getting punched in the throat. or, eddie thinks about his best friend at a hospital wedding
tell me all the things that i wanna hear by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (7x06: There Goes The Groom | 1,3K | Teen): Or: Eddie realizes something at the bachelor party, but he doesn't remember until later.
take a chance (lay all your love on me) by bptlmevyemtc (Not Actually Unrequited Love | 35K | General): “You’re in love with me?” Buck asks, like a laggy computer system that just finished booting up. “Er. Yes?” Eddie says. “I thought we established that.” Buck nods, once, glacially slow, and Eddie sees when the synapses of his brain snap into place. “... But I’m straight?” the one where it takes eddie a while to get over buck, and it takes buck even longer to figure out he doesn't want him to
🔥 the ravi fic by archerincombat (Ravi POV, S4 | 15K | Teen): “Hey,” Ravi says. “Scale of 1 to 10, how bad would it be if I assumed Eddie Diaz’s girlfriend was his wife in front of him?” Lee groans. “Did you do it in front of Buckley?” “Yeah?” “A hundred,” she replies, turning the other direction before Ravi can demand to know why. At three in the morning, it hits him. He bolts upright in his cot. Oh my god, he thinks. Buck and Eddie are divorced, and everyone forgot to tell me.
tried and true blue by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (There Was Only One Bed | 4K | Teen): or, sharing a bed with your best friend is fine, usually, except for when your best friend is the particular combination of tipsy and stoned at his sister’s wedding that transforms him into 200 pounds of cuddlebug
🔥 does he love you better than i can? by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-7x05: You Don't Know Me, BuckTommy, Tommy POV | 10K | Teen): Nothing has ever happened between us, Evan had insisted. You have absolutely nothing to worry about, Eddie had told him unequivocally. There’s no reason he shouldn’t take them both at their word, Tommy thinks, decisively. or, buck and eddie insist that there's nothing going on between them. tommy wants to believe them. he really, really does.
put my heart inside your palms by markofalover/ @markofalover (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Buck’s speaking again, telling him, “Go dry your hair, baby.” And like, he’s stuck in his daydream. Completely crazy about it. So it’s not exactly his fault that he doesn’t register what Buck said until he’s in the bathroom again. He straightens his shoulders out and looks at his reflection like maybe he’s actually lost it, but, no, those were real words coming from Buck, who is also real, so— ...or, how an accidental pet name, a thoughtful dinner, and a shared shirt makes them get their shit together.
written all over your face by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (BuckTommy | 2,5K | Teen): A completely smitten Buck decides he wants to keep Tommy all to himself for just a while longer. When an accidental goodbye kiss exposes their new relationship, the 118 wants to be respectful – but when has that ever worked? or: buck and tommy try to keep their relationship a secret and fail adorably
with a smile and some hope by iriswests/ @fcntasmas (Established Buddie | 6K | Mature): or; five times buck wakes up before eddie, and one time eddie wakes up before buck
🔥 as easy as defusing a bomb by iriswests/ @fcntasmas (Sexuality Crisis, S5 | 7K | Mature): or; buck moves in with eddie while taylor finds a new place, and prompts what feels like puberty 2.0 for eddie diaz.
Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 31/? | 20K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.
Chapter 30. 70. what if i told you none of it was accidental: An accidental kiss that confuses you both, but only a moment passes before you crash your lips back against each other's
Chapter 31. 72. Accidentally bumping noses
waiting for this moment to be free by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Getting Together | <1K | General): Eddie opens his eyes to the dim flickering light of the TV, turned down low but not quite muted on one of those Ninja Warrior things that Buck loves. He's tilted sideways, cheek pillowed against the outside of Buck's arm, and he's apparently been drooling a little, which would be more embarrassing if it were the first or even the twentieth time it's happened. Or: Eddie, and Buck, and another couch.
you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Established Buddie, Amnesia | 1,7K | Teen): Eddie is pretty sure the only person he's ever been genuinely attracted to, is Shannon. So, he is very confused when he wakes up in a hospital bed with temporary amnesia and the inability to look away from the pretty, hot guy in a firefighter uniform. And then, procedes to have the second gay panic of his life... because of the same person.
This Old Love Has Me Bound by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan (Post-7x04: Buck Bothered and Bewildered, BuckTommy, Pre-Buddie | 9K | Teen): In an attempt to better understand his newfound bisexuality, Buck tries to figure out if he ever missed any signs with guys before. The universe keeps interrupting every time he's about to think about Eddie.
all I want (your eyes on mine) by bigfootsmom/ @bigfootsmom (PWP, BuckTommyEddie | 10K | Explicit): Buck is lying there, Eddie instantly recognizes the head of honey blond curls resting on the arm of the couch. But the head of short brown curls between Buck’s shaking thighs takes a second longer to place. But then they look up, blue eyes going comically wide as they lock onto Eddie. Tommy Kinard is on Buck’s couch. He’s on Buck’s couch between Buck’s thighs with his lips wrapped around Buck’s cock. ~ The one where Eddie yearns, Buck pines, and Tommy just wants to have a good time.
of want and need by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP | 2K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie fuck for the first time. That's it, that's the fic. (sequel to slowly getting sober from the taste of your skin)
WIP
🔥 change the prophecy by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Alternate Timeline, Curse/Magic | 7/11 | 17K | Mature): Buck has never felt secure in any of his relationships; he’s been searching for someone to see him the way he feels he’s meant to be seen, but after things start going downhill with Tommy, he thinks that person might just not exist. Eddie cannot figure out what’s wrong with him when it becomes clear things with Marisol aren’t going to work out. But what if they’re both forgetting something?
🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 10/18 | 53K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.
🔥 Steal My Sunshine by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Altered Memories | 4/9 | 15K | Mature): Memories hazy and unreliable, Eddie Diaz wakes up every morning in a house at the end of a cul de sac, goes to his office job at a petroleum engineering company, and comes home to his wife and son. But something is missing, and the more Eddie begins to put the pieces together, the stranger the predicament he finds himself in.
some things fall when they're meant to fall by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Post S7E5 | 2/4 | 11K | Teen): or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie has a realization and breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.
🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 3/10 | 24K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?
🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 3/4 | 16K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.
🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 14/? | 126K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.
🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 126/? | 393K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.
Podfics
🔥 Leave The Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by Mad_Lori/ @madlori // fic by @hmslusitania (Post-S5, Missing Presumed Dead, Amnesia | 4.5-5h | Mature): An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.
[podfic] Chimney's Guide to Dating a Buckley by Howard Han by Matriaya (Getting Buddie Together | 3-3.5h | Not Rated): And how stupid is it that reading 10 chapters of a guide to dating a Buckley by his coworker is how Eddie finally got his shit together and asked Buck out for a date? But, Eddie’s happy and so is Buck, so Chim might have had a point.
[podfic] Karen's Guide to Dating and Marrying a Firefighter with a Kid by Matriaya for KatieWrites (Getting Buddie Together, Karen POV sorta? | 1-1.5h | Not Rated): OR Buck's in love with his best friend and doesn't know how to figure out if Eddie shares his feelings.
#buddie#buddie fanfiction#buddie fic rec#buddie fanfic#epic buddie fic rec#buddie fic#bucktommy#bucktommy fanfic
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