imagine crying when Loki finally, finally feels so assured and comfortable with you that he tells you things he's never told anyone.
Of his fears, his pains, the terrors he has experienced.
But also his dreams, his wishes, the things that make him happy that he has never told anyone.
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WIP Ping Pong
I was tagged by my sparring partner @lady-of-imladris, to whom I’m returning a swift, precise PONG
Anyway, here is the latest on my OTHER horror story (Terrors)
Awareness returned slowly, in cold, pulsating waves. First came the sharp, needle-like sensation of hardened snow against my bare feet. A biting cold then invaded my nostrils, intensifying as it propagated deeper into my lungs with each breath, lodging inside like jagged shards of glass. Finally, my eyes began to adjust to the darkness that enveloped me — naked trunks of trees, dried grasses, and shrubs emerged from the abyss like disfigured limbs, their forms offering no clues to my location but affirming my luxation from where I should have been — in my bed at home, suffering from night terrors.
Tagging: @lady-of-imladris @coraleethroughthelookingglass @niennawept
Let play more ping-pong!
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The Other Side of The Wall
Shrieked screams wake me from the edge of R.E.M. sleep.
I begged to live to see another day. Does she feel the same? What part of her journey is she in? Blinded and halted by fear disguised as love?
It brought me back to all those dark moments we devilishly danced together. Each bang, scream, and thud shake my heart to the core.
I thought I woke up in my old apartment. I was waiting for your hands to find my neck. Waiting for the aching sting of bruised ribs. Anticipating you pressed deeply within my thighs, unwanted… Waiting for my lungs to burn from my screams, but your hands never came. The screams roared within. Stirring wildly and crashing within my body. Losing all feeling in my body. My eyelids fluttering, trying to familiarize my surroundings.
Clutching my heart and trying to practice these exercises that are to help ground me during these triggers. They aren’t helping. I feel myself sinking into the bed. The covers tangled between my legs feel like heavy vines pinning me down. Struggling to hold my breath. Helplessness and anticipation seeping into my cold tingling bones. Trying to disappear within, quiet my body, as if the man upstairs can hear my pounding heart.
What is the right thing to do? Fear halting me like a deer in headlights. How do I navigate these rough waters? I’ll forever carry her screams with me. Deeply harmonizing with my own.
If I stay silent, I’m adding to her pain as others blindly added to mine. The fear freezes me... Holding me hostage.
“You are safe” *BOOM* tears streak my face. “You are home Mae” *YELLING* The bass in his voice making my heart tremble and my skin crawl.
She deserves to be free, but is she ready? Will I add or take away from her suffering if I break my silence?
"He isn’t here” *THUD.SCREAMING*
Will I add or take from her life? What role do I play now? I haven’t been on this side of the wall. Her screams echo within my heart, fill my scared eyes with heavy tears.
I squeeze my eyes shut and focus on what I can feel.
Mila beneath my hands. Her soft fur clutched within my trembling hand start to soothe me.
*BOOM*
“You’re okay Mae, it’ll be over soon.”
*CRASH*
Ragged breathing and hollow panting fill the space
*Pitter Patter*
“I think it’s okay now… Don’t make a sound… Keep quiet, keep safe; within this darkness you can hide. He won’t come here. He can’t find you now…”
The silence is crimpling. When will I hear her screams again?
The silence is frightening.
Silence kept me in shackles for years, but it was my choice, my voice that needed to find the light.
Will she secretly hate the one who doesn’t turn a blind eye? Could this kill her more than it already is? Who do I play now? What do I say?
*BOOM*
“God please… please, make it stop.”
*YELLING*
Silently I pray for her… “Don’t fight back… He’ll grow tired. Let him become tired…”
***SILENCE***
I begged for a savior in those dark moments.
The silence is deafening. At least when I hear her shrills, I know she has breath in her lungs. I don’t want to take away from her life.
Being on the other side of the wall is just difficult.
I could take the beating over this any day. At least he’d tire and his fists would eventually fall flat.
***SILENCE***
Wet cheeks, ragged breaths, swollen eyelids become heavier and heavier.
Finally, my eyes close, heart slows, and body relaxes… The darkness is closing in, gently rocking me back to sleep. I take a deep breath in and exhale… And there you are… Greeting me in my terrors… God please… Wake me up…
*ALARM*
Silently I roll out of bed...
I carry her screams with me….
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