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girlgenius1111 · 4 months

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don't you trust me?

r gets into a fight. mapi is not happy.

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Most of the time, you enjoyed living with Ingrid and Mapi. It was fun, and you liked that you didn't have to be responsible all the time. You were 18, so technically you could live on your own, but the older girls had insisted you stay with them at least another year. You'd fought it initially, but then they got Alexia on their side, and there wasn't really much you could do.

However, today, their presence in your life only complicated matters. You walked in the front door, on your way back from tutoring, trying to sneak past them, right up the stairs to your room. You needed to fix your face, as well as you could, before they could see you. Really, you weren't sure you'd be able to do enough, but you needed to try.

You were finishing your school, which you did online, but you saw a tutor every week to ensure you were doing alright in everything. There were other kids there that saw the same tutor and they'd taken to... hating you. Really hating you.

You weren't sure if it was because they were jealous, you were living out your dream career, after all, or if they were just mean. Either way, they'd been teasing you for months, most of which you could ignore, as you only saw them once a week.

Today, though, you had lost your patience. It was already dark when you walked out of the building, and they'd walked behind you, cracking mean jokes per usual. You weren't sure why it bothered you more today, but it did. You turned, letting out a string of insults that they were left astounded at. You'd turned back around, heading in the direction of your apartment again, which was only a short walk away, when the girl whose mother you'd just insulted grabbed the back of your shirt, wrenching you backwards. To be completely honest, you'd thrown the first punch. It had been instinct. What followed was a fight you were honestly kind of proud of. Your face didn't really tell the full story; you looked like you'd been jumped, but really, you'd held your own against three other people.

You felt kind of guilty, because you'd pushed things to become physical. If you'd ignored them like usual, they wouldn't have taken it further. Instead, you couldn't keep your mouth shut, and now... well.

Surprisingly, you made it to your room, quickly shouting out a greeting to the older girls before shutting your door behind you. You look in the mirror that hung over your dresser, inspecting your face. Your hands were heavily bruised around the knuckles, but nothing was broken. Sure, your nose looked a little lopsided, one of your eyes was swollen shut, there was a cut above your eyebrow that hadn't stopped bleeding, and you're not sure the one on your lip doesn't need stitches, but you're fine. Completely fine.

You hear Ingrid's footstep just a second too late, and she's knocking quickly before opening your door. You freeze, as her question about what you want for dinner dies on her lips, jaw dropping open instead at the sight of your mangled face.

"Y/n, what the hell?" She asks, clearly making a big effort to stay calm. You don't really know how to answer, but she doesn't wait for you to. Instead, she grabs your arm, pulling you out of your door and down the stairs.

"María. María!!!" she shouts, and you attempt to stop in your tracks, but she continues to pull you along.

"Que paso?" Mapi asks, walking around the corner into the living room where you are standing with Ingrid.

"Ask her." Ingrid says, gesturing back to you. Mapi's eyes fall on you, widening, before she swears, moving closer to take your face roughly into her hands.

"Fuck, Mapi, that hurts," you cry out.

"Sorry, sorry," she says, hands softening on your face. Ingrid is standing behind her, looking furious, and you know you're in trouble. This isn't the first fight you've gotten in, but it had been a while. Your teammates had made it clear they wouldn't tolerate any of that. This was the worst it had ever gone for you, that much was clear by the state of your face.

"What happened?" Mapi asks, voice dangerously low.

"I got in a fight." Maybe you should have answered what you knew she was really asking, but your face hurt, they hadn't even heard your side of things, and they were already mad. You weren't really in the mood to talk about it, either.

At your response, Ingrid lets out a long exhale, turning to go into the kitchen. Mapi is staring hard at you, and you shrink under her gaze.

"What happened?" she asks again.

"The other kids that see my tutor. They don't like me very much."

"Did you swing first?"

"Yeah, but-"

"-Y/n, we've talked about this!" Mapi says, raising her voice slightly.

"I know, but-"

"-no buts! This isn't acceptable, you know that. What were you thinking?"

You weren't really expecting Mapi to get that mad at you, honestly. Normally she let Ingrid deal with your fights, and yell at you, but Mapi hadn't ever yelled at you before. You felt your eyes, really one eye, begin to water, and you look down, avoiding her gaze. It's not fair, she's not even hearing your side of things.

"I'm talking to Alexia and Jona, and you're going to be benched until you prove that you can act like an adult," Mapi continues. You know that this is likely an empty threat, so you stay silent. It still hurts, though, that she just assumes the fight was your fault.

Ingrid has reentered the room, an ice pack in hand, and she walks to your side, tilting your chin back up to inspect your wounds.

"María, calm down," she says, giving her girlfriend a look.

"No. This is ridiculous. I thought we could trust you." Mapi seethes, and you pull away from Ingrid, a flash of anger flowing through you.

"You don't want to hear my side of things? You just assume I started it? That's not fair, Mapi. If you want to yell at me, do it later, when my face isn't bleeding." You spit out, both girls looking startled at your outburst. Without another word, you turn, slipping shoes on and grabbing your keys, before walking out the front door, ignoring their calls for you to come back.

Angry tears are flowing down your face, burning the various cuts they come into contact with, and you wipe away at them as carefully as you can. Your feet carry you down the block, and you're knocking on the door before you can even really think about what you're doing.

It doesn't really make sense; logically, Alexia would be just as mad at you as the other 2 were but you didn't know where else to go, and you knew she would patch you up. You wanted Ingrid to do it, really, but you couldn't go back there now, not when you were so upset.

Alexia answered the door, gasping when she sees you.

"Pequeña? Que paso?" she asks, reaching a hand out to pull you inside. Her hands fly to your face, inspecting your wounds, and she's bringing you to the bathroom before you can answer.

"I got in a fight."

"Pequeña," Alexia sighs, applying pressure to the cut on your forehead, and to the one on your lip.

"It wasn't my fault! I hit first, but if I hadn't, they would have. There were 3 of them, I was just trying to be smart."

"3?" Alexia asks, eyebrows flying up.

"And then I got home and Ingrid saw and she got Mapi and Mapi yelled, and she didn't even ask me what happened really, she was just so mad," you cry.

You hear a frantic knock on Alexia's door, and she sighs, instructing you to hold the towels to your face. "Did you run out of there?" She asks over her shoulder, heading for the door.

Clearly, Alexia knew who was at the door, as did you.

"Yes."

You hear Alexia open the door, and tell the girls that yes, you're in the bathroom. You wouldn't have expected her to lie, but still, you don't want to see Mapi. At least this, Alexia seems to understand, as Ingrid comes down the hall alone, pulling you into a hug as soon as she's close enough, ignoring the blood getting on her shirt. You collapse into her, and she holds you up, hands rubbing your back softly.

"I'm sorry, elskling, we should have made sure you were okay, and heard you out before we got mad." She speaks the words into your ear, and if you had been mad at her, the guilt in her voice would have been enough for you to forgive her.

"I'm not really mad at you," you mumble. She laughs at that.

"I can't blame you for being mad at her. She just worries about you. You scared her, she doesn't like seeing you hurt." Ingrid says, and you nod, knowing she's right. "Cmon, let's fix your face." She grabs the first aid kit, and your hand, pulling you out into the living room where Mapi stands with Alexia, who appears to be scolding her. That gives you some satisfaction.

Ingrid sits you on the couch, and Alexia joins her, both girls inspecting the cuts, and your nose. Mapi stays against the wall, staring at the floor.

"I don't think either need stitches," Ingrid says, and Alexia nods in agreement.

"I don't think her nose is broken, either. Just swollen." Alexia notes. You sigh in relief. No hospital.

They use Alexia's extensive first aid kit to clean and bandage your wounds, holding ice against your face until you push their hands off, insisting on doing it yourself. They stand, then, and look meaningfully at Mapi, before they walk into the kitchen, mumbling about getting you water.

Mapi moves to sit next to you, and you're startled when she looks up at you with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, pequeña. I shouldn't have yelled. Seeing you like that scared me, and I freaked out. I didn't mean to be so harsh, really."

"It's okay," you say halfheartedly.

"No it's not. I'd like to hear what happened though." Mapi says, shaking her head. Ingrid and Alexia wander back in, handing you a glass of water, and sitting down on the couch.

You look between them, realizing that if there were any 3 people who you'd trust, it's them. You tell them the whole story, starting months ago when the teasing began, up until today. Mapi and Alexia look prepared to track the kids down and harm them, while Ingrid looks torn between murder, and giving you a hug. She looks like she's decided on a hug when Mapi beats her too it, pulling you into her arms fiercely. The guilt on her face is evident, and even though you want to stay mad, you can't. So, you hug her back, and she sighs with relief. When she pulls back, you meet Alexia's eyes and shudder at how upset she looks.

"Why didn't you tell us this was happening? We could have stopped it." She says through her teeth. You can tell, though, that her anger is directed at the other kids, and not you.

"It wasn't a big deal, I could ignore it."

"It doesn't matter, y/n, you shouldn't have to handle it. You're never going back there again, we'll find someone else to tutor you." Alexia declares, and Mapi and Ingrid nod their agreement. You weren't going to argue with them. With that settled, Ingrid and Mapi take you back home, after you thank Alexia for her help. They send you right to bed, arguing that you need rest to recover well, and you roll your eyes, but listen. You've just settled in bed when there is a knock on the door.

"Come in?"

Mapi's head peeks through the door, smirking at you, and holding two bowls of ice cream.

"Don't tell Ingrid, it's not a cheat day," she says and you grin. She settles on the other side of your bed, handing you the bowl, and you guys eat in a content silence. Not 5 minutes later, there's another knock on the door, and you and Mapi hide your bowls under your blanket.

"Yes?"

Ingrid opens the door, eyes on the 2 bowls of ice cream in her hands. "Don't tell Mapi, there was only enough left for 2..." she fades off, looking up to see Mapi reclined on your bed, staring at her with her jaw dropped open. You laugh, throwing back your blanket, exposing the first bowls of ice cream. Ingrid and Mapi both start to scold the other, but realize neither of them have a leg to stand on. Instead, Ingrid climbs onto the bed on your other side, handing you the second bowl of ice cream, which you accept happily.

Ingrid mentions something about the training schedule, then, and what time you all need to be up the next morning, and you sit forward, dropping your spoon into your bowl with a clatter. You look horrified.

"What is it?" Ingrid asks, somewhat panicked at the expression on your face.

"I have to go to practice tomorrow. Everyone is going to see my face and freak out. If you two were bad, imagine everyone else's reaction," you groan, already hearing the different lectures you were going to hear.

Ingrid and Mapi chuckle at your panic.

"Remember the last time you got into a fight? And you went to practice with that black eye? Practice was delayed 20 minutes so everyone could yell at you, and Pina got a picture of your face printed on t-shirts." Mapi remembers gleefully.

You glare at her, a look she returns.

"Maybe we can get it on the back of our jersey this time," Ingrid suggest, fighting a smile.

You roll your eyes, going back to your ice cream, dreading the next day, but also not. Having people care about you, worry for you, was a good feeling. Overwhelming, yes, but overall, a good feeling.

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lowkey hate the ending of this but im tired and i couldn't think of how else to end it

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #barca femeni

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halfagone · 3 months

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A Mandalorian Halfa Jedi?

I am thinking... about my Danny Phantom x Star Wars AU again. I mentioned this in the Haunting Heroes discord server, but imagine this:

Danny gets lost in the Star Wars universe, maybe they're part of the same universe, maybe not. We know that Earth technically exists there, so it's possible. Nonetheless, Danny gets lost and is eventually picked up by the Jedi. It is during the Clone Wars era, at the height of the war. Ectoplasm either functions the same as the Force out in larger space, or it easily passes off as the Force. Therefore, Danny is considered Force-sensitive and brought to the Jedi council.

He's far too old, older than even Anakin was, but he already displays some skill with the blade (thanks to his mom's training), and he's far too powerful with the Force to leave for the Sith or Dark Side users running about to find him. Those like Count Dooku or Asajj Ventress or whoever Dooku's master is (and, depending on the timeline, Maul and his brother Savage as well).

It's decided that Obi Wan should train him, since he did well with Anakin despite Anakin's older age for a youngling and lack of familiarity with Jedi customs and culture. As well as Obi Wan's own young age as a Padawan himself at the time. Surely, Obi Wan could whip him into shape and they need all the help they can get on the field.

Anakin does not like Danny at first. Not at all. He might have joked all he liked beforehand about Obi Wan getting another padawan, but seeing it happen is an entirely different experience. Danny gets along well with Obi Wan, with his dry, witty humor and his tendency for unorthodox strategy. Worse still, Ahsoka likes Danny. These two are peas in a pod, partners in crime. It feels like he's been forgotten and replaced and by someone seemingly better.

And then one day, when the 212th and the 501st are stationed together, he finds Danny shaking with night terrors, the Dark Side so strong in him Anakin is literally freezing from the cold. It's only then that he understands Danny a little bit better, and sees himself in this kid. Danny fights the Dark Side within him just like he does, and he never lets it consume him. Maybe for once, he can learn a little something from this kid too, and not let it overwhelm him.

And here is the part where I realized a golden opportunity:

What if the Jedi think Danny is a Mandalorian that was cast out for being Force-sensitive? Danny has an affinity for weapons beyond the blade, like cannons and guns and snipers. He talks about how his family taught him to use these weapons, that he's known this all his life. He talks about how his family wears suits all the time and hardly ever takes them off. He talks about always being afraid to reveal his powers to his parents, and how ultimately he ran away because of them.

Oh all the scenarios that could come out of this~

But now I'm also thinking about how strong Danny would feel in the Force. How much Danny could do on the battlefield because now he doesn't have to hold back. Droids might have more intelligence than a lot of sentients give them credit for, but if it's between the very alive, flesh and bone, clones of the Grand Republic Army and the Separatists' metal droids, Danny is absolutely going to be ruthless if it means the clones are safe.

Danny can literally control the weather. Imagine what happens when Danny creates an electrical storm for the first time to take down an enemy starship and the clones just look between themselves, whispering about how: "I didn't know Jedi could do that." "Is that how the Force works?" "Kriff if I know-"

And that's another thing! Clones! Danny would be absolutely appalled that so many clones were created and their freedom at the end of the Clones Wars is still up in the air.

It also ties beautifully with his love for space and now he's living the dream! Except space isn't what he thought it would be. And there are planets out here that have barbaric standards. It's the adventure of a lifetime! But there's a part of him that still wants to go home.

Just- all the possibilities and shenanigans this could bring. ✨

#danny phantom #danny phantom crossover #star wars crossover #halfagone rambles

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ryemiffie · 1 month

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Okay In my last rant about Vox I think I got a bit too heated, so I'm gonna take a break from talking about the ever annoying Vox and instead move on to Velvette for a minute. So I saw a video of someone asking, "If Vox is a tv, and Val is a moth, what does that make Velvette??" And first of all no hate to that person I'm sure they just didn't pay much attention or something, but Velvette isn't Vox's and Val's kid, and even if she was she'd have to be adopted since sinners aren't capable of having children after death and it's not like they could of had her when they were alive obviously, so where did this idea come from? That Velvette is somehow their biological child??

Velvette is clearly not their kid, the groups dynamic doesn't even imply this so I don't know where the idea came from, but if you spend more than five minutes thinking about it it's obviously incorrect. Now onto what Velvette actually is, her old design was clearly based off some sort of doll, I think it was one of those clown dolls people like collecting (if I can find a photo I'll put it in here somewhere) but that's just what I looked at her and saw so I could be wrong about the clown thing. But I really liked her original design, it really sold the fact she was the youngest of the vees and had died very young, she looked like a doll that a little girl would have fun dressing up and playing with. But with her new design it's not apparent she's a doll, nor does she look all that young in comparison to the other Vees, and the casting choice for her didn't help either.

Her old design and place in the group dynamic made sense for the vees, Vox and Val are much older sinners from the 50s and 70s (at least according to what I could find) but Velvette was supposed to be a much younger soul who would've died around the early 2000s or the late 1990s, or at least that's what seemed to be widely accepted. I think having Velvette be very young in comparison to Vox and Val was a good choice, especially since Vox and Val wouldn't have the same grasp on social media hence the need for Velvette, a young soul who matches their ideals and who would be capable of helping them with that side of the empire they were growing. They all clearly have a use for each other and while that use isn't technically lost with Velvette's redesign, I do think it lost of some of the charm and execution possibilities by seemingly aging her up and presenting her in such a heavy contrast to her original counterpart.

Even with the redesign of the character and how they chose to present her I still think they could have managed to portray her as very young, but her voice kind of ruins that because she doesn't sound young at all, she sounds to be in her 30s or at least maybe late 20s, but her voice really does just paint her to be the same age as the other vees. Without prior context I would have just assumed when told Velvette is the youngest that it was just by a year or two, which I think really does just take away from the art of her character in the group dynamic. While I do love Velvette's current design, knowing what she was originally and what she was supposed to be, I'm just kinda disappointed.

Velvette's young age was supposed to place reason as to her knowledge going into hell, already having an understanding of the intricacies of how the modern media is run, such things as social media culture, everything that comes with trends from how to follow, make, and predict them, how to foresee the types of content that will appeal to the wider modern audience, and everything that comes with the advancements we have made in how we consume media. She already knew these things from her time alive and could introduce them to the rest of the vees, an example of this being when the character instagrams were a thing. In the beginning of the character instagrams, when the other Vees would post it was because Velvette told them they had to, because Velvette already knew how important keeping up their presence on social media was. When I first got into Hazbin hotel I was most excited for Velvette's character so maybe I just placed my expectations too high, but really I feel that there was a lot of failed potential with not just her but a lot of characters, and the show overall.

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starry-blue-echoes · 3 months

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Okay I had a THOUGHT about Early Bird. Or specifically, what happens after it.

Because Diavolo's still out there, still has his stand arrow/s. And Giorno either doesn't exist, or he's much older than in canon. Possibly even in a position where he can be much more effective in either combatting or infiltrating Passione.

Basically what I'm trying to say is 20-something Giorno Giovanna kinda taking Bucciarati's role as inspirational surrogate parent.

ailing you managed to rummage around my brain and pull out an idea I thought I'd forgotten about

so doing the math, Jotaro would be around 31 in Canon Part 5, and he was 6 in Early Bird Part 3. Giorno was born about 3 years before Canon Part 3, which if we have that be the same here leads to a....... shockingly only 3 year age gap

now, of course there's also room to mess around with when Part 5 happens since if you wanna get really technical, Dio wouldn't have been able to be given the arrows by Enyaba since she wouldn't have been able to buy them off Doppio at this time, but that's a little too gritty for me so let's just shuffle things around instead and just say it all works out by shoving Doppio's trip back a few years

anyways back with Giorno, an old idea I had more or less has Giorno...... with the kiddos as well. I KNOW, THIS IS TECHNICALLY A PRETTY LATE ADDITION TO THE AU BUT HEAR ME OUT:

Dio of course has Jotaro already planned out to be his successor. There's a whole multilayered scheme going on here with loads of irony and revenge and what not, and he doesn't want to give that up. It's just too perfect.

However, Dio has also learned from his mistakes and knows he shouldn't put all his eggs in one basket. After all, given the fact he doesn't have Pucci this time, he is currently without a back up plan

enter: one Haruno Shiobana

this is also where Dio's interactions with the kids get more....... complicated. Because Haruno is the spare so to speak........ but at the same time he's pretty well cared for. Arguably better than the other kids, simply because of the fact he's new. Unlike the other kids, he doesn't need to be convinced of anything. This life and Dio is all he's known, he doesn't need to worry about Haruno trying to escape since....... well, why would he try

not to mention, Haruno's too young to participate in any kind of training, and again he's the spare. He shouldn't have to be trained since if everything goes to plan, he won't be needed as a successor. Maybe he could be a powerful underling one day if his Stand is strong enough, but Jotaro is supposed to be the future leader.

so honestly....... Jotaro's the only one who ever actually interacted with Giorno. He's kept separate from most of the other kids, but of course Dio wanted his heir to meet his possible second. And their interactions were about as interesting as a 3 year old and an ill 6 year old could be.

(who knows, maybe Haruno's mother is here as well? Of course, this does raise the question of whether or not she'd take Haruno with her when she inevitably flees the mansion, but for the sake of the AU let's say she does)

but when they're free.......... this is when things get a bit fun :)

because well....... given their ages, the two honestly don't remember each other super well. Haruno hardly remembers any of his time in the mansion at all, and Jotaro's memories are foggy from time and sickness. Kakyoin might know of Haruno's existence from their talks, but admittedly the toddler's importance wasn't NEARLY as much in his mind as compared to being rescued and getting Jotaro to a hospital

by the time Kakyoin's able to tell Holly and Joseph, Haruno's long gone

Italy I'd imagine isn't too different. Sure there's of course the differing dynamics between Giorno and the team given the fact he's 28 (and now the oldest member of the team by a landslide, Abbacchio being the closest at 21) but plot wise? There's definitely the question of do we play it straight or get creative with it which........ okay let's be real we're most likely gonna go the creative route jrdbvjdrbvs

I'm definitely very interested in how Koichi little quest goes down and how Giorno will deal with his chasing, and ofc how Jotaro will fall into things here

Polnareff definitely will make things interesting, since he's of course very related to Events All Those Years Ago and would likely be aware of the fact that Dio son who went missing that fateful night

there's a lot of room to Get Funky With It :)

also I'm just. Rotating Jotaro and Giorno's childhoods. How the mansion was the best and safest Giorno had ever been, and had he grown up there he honestly probably wouldn't have had that bad of a life, at least in comparison to his mother's neglect and step-father's abuse.

but that being in stark contrast to Jotaro's own experience. How the mansion was literal hell. How he was stolen away from his life and family and very nearly died, scared and alone.

how Dio managed to be Giorno's savior and Jotaro's nightmare

how Holly's rescue was Jotaro's saving grace and the thing that shattered any hope of Giorno's good future

how these two are family, both by blood and by the man who attempted to raise and shape them

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redhairedgirl95 · 3 months

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Heyy i'm back , i've just found time to relax a little bit and i thought that it would be a good idea to give my review on the latest chapter of atging , which was amazing by the way . So first i was happy radius could spend some time with luna that girl is brave going through pregnancy with her husband away fighting a dangerous war and since radius is away that would make luna regent ? If so she has my respect for running the kingdom while having a child she deserves to be called a queen 👑, but this made me hate the ancestral witches even more not only because of what they did to Bloom and her family but also because because of them radius can't even spend time with his family and tend to his pregnant wife i can't imagine the stress luna felt because of the effects of pregnancy and fearing her husband might potentialy die and that her child might be born fatherless!!! One thing that i appreciated is the other rulers uniting to help radius get away so he could be present for when his wife gives birth and so that he could stay with them a bit longer before going back to the battlefield . But oh i hate erendor with a passion stella just got out from the womb and he already wants to marry her off , it's not because you see your child as nothing more than an heir that others dont love their kids , sky deserves better parents, erendor is so desperate he wants to marry his son to daphne who is MUCH OLDER THAN HIM but Bloom is going to be with him so erendor will be happy either way . Now let's talk about the true star of the show litteraly , STELLA!!!!! this moment felt surreal but one thing is sure that girl is powerfull she has just been born and she's already got her father wrapped around her finger he would kill for her , i know he thought of Killing erendor when he started talking about mariage we have one protective father in our ranks .

Side note : the part about no paternity tests needed is NASTY!!! Why did you do sky dirty like that ! . Anyways another masterpiece from you i am not suprised i look foward to reading more from you byyye 💞

my darling, how I love receiving your in-depth reviews! They make the writing process so much more rewarding! <3 <3 <3

to answer your questions/comments

that would make Luna regent if he stayed away for long, but, being connected to the Suns of Solaria, Radius cannot, in fact (at least in my lore), leave his realm for long. Or he would get sick and, eventually, die. Technically she is regent when he's away, but she talks to him before she has to make any major decision. She is still a foreign Queen

Ancestral Witches, more like Ancestral B*tches

I believe all the rulers HAD to lend a hand to one another in some way ... otherwise the alliance would be useless. Most of them are friends or friendly acquaintances - Erendor was kind of a hero for Radius when he was younger. Not so much now

Because Erendor is Erendor. The one we've learned to loathe in the series: the one who wants to force Sky to marry Diaspro, who humiliates Brandon in front of all of Red Fountain, who doesn't' care that his son loves Bloom ... - yep, Erendor is mostly sh!t

she has come! the STAR, the one and only! and everybody loves her <3

gossip is nasty as heel in the Magic Dimension! Tabloids do their dirty work in every universe

Thank you so so so much for always being the kindest and I'm so sorry you'll have to wait some time before I can publish another chapter. Work is crazy and I'm one of those people who cannot write if she isn't comfortably sitting in front of her computer. writers who can write on your phone, I applaud you!

Talk as soon as possible <3

#giulia speaks #screaming into the void just because #giulia answers asks #winx club #shining in the starlight #thisisdzulia on ao3 #writing #radius and luna #lovely reviews #divorcedlovers #all that glitters is not gold #atging #chapter 9

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apollos-boyfriend · 2 years

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Why is twitter so obsessed with goldenduo, but specifically the fic dynamic goldenduo that isn't present in canon? Like it's more prevalent than beeduo in fics now. What is happening?

there are a few reasons i can see that could've caused this. most probably overlap, and they're all just theories/obversations, but here's my two cents about it

there's an "imbalance" in benchtrio

as popularity in beeduo rose, tommy was left out more and more of the dynamic. benchtrio still was popular, but as was seen in lore streams, he felt left out due to how close beeduo grew while he was dead/gone. to balance that out and give him his own duo outside of those two, purpled was thrust forward. eryn wasn't on the server at the time (the benchtrio conflict around tommy's revival happened in around march of 2021, while eryn joined in october), so there wasn't anyone else "his age" to pair him off with. (i say "his age" in quotations because jack manifold is only two years older than tommy, however, there was the whole "trying to kill tommy" thing, so he was out of the question for these people.)

goldenduo became kind of the parallel for beeduo in these instances. there wasn't someone they could have the beeduo dynamic mirrored in with tommy, as clingy and allium have different dynamic styles, so they were forced to make their own. purpled, being young and his content creator being friendly with tommy in the past, just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. which leads me into the next point:

2. these people do not care for purpled's actual character/do not know his character

there are two sections the people who write goldenduo like that fall into. either a. "i don't know cpurpled lore, so i'll just mold him to fit whatever i want him to be" or b. "cpurpled is a villain and irredeemable, so i shall rewrite him into being palatable and friendly instead, since i do not like his canon self". there's a third category, technically, of "i do not actually understand cpurpled/cpurpled's lore on a thematical and analytical sense and just see what i want to see", but in my opinion, that's just another way to phrase group a.

people in group a are typically those that strongly push for the "manipulated minors" dynamic. they know purpled had his ufo blown up, and see him as having been "manipulated" by quackity into joining las nevadas, but know very little else about him. they write his personality not by c or cc, but by the echo chamber they've created for themselves based on the other three teens in the manipulated minors/cmyk dynamic. they draw from what they want a traumatized kid to be: scared, paranoid, touch-starved, etc. which is something i've talked about before; "palatable" trauma responses vs "problematic/unwanted" trauma responses, in which benchtrio are seen as good and right for largely being the "good" kind traumatized who don't lash out in anger/hold "bad" emotions, while purpled is the "bad" kind who does. he's a blank slate for them, and as said above, with beeduo already being paired off, they need someone else for him to be a duo with. enter ctommy.

people in group b are largely the same. they're just much more aware of how cpurpled acts in canon, instead of just pretending he's never like that. they just do what they want with him because he's not a "good" character (in the moral sense, not writing sense) and we can't have moral grayness, so he gets rewritten completely to be that "good". and if he's not, it's about tommy "rescuing" him and showing him how to be that "good" again, as if purpled ever was that in the first place.

3. twitter thinks beeduo fell apart/goldenduo have been interacting again

look. i don't know the beeduo "drama". it's not my business and as long as they're both still happy and okay, i could not care less. but there was the whole thing a while back with tubbo and ranboo where people thought they were no longer friends, to the point where ranboo had to ask people not to say he hates his friend, but even after that, twitter still kind of thinks they're dead. it's stupid and invasive, but it led to a decline in beeduo content, both c and cc-inspired.

on the other hand, goldenduo have had more interaction with each other than they have in like, at least a year. most of it is due to mcc, with them putting each other down for teams and overall speaking highly of each other as players, so there's traction for them once more. because of that (along with other aspects such as vol2 on the horizon opening up new opportunities for character interactions) there's been a skyrocket in goldenduo works.

#muse talk #fandom crit #fandom neg #its also because they dont know how to fucking be normal #hope this helps <3 #i did not know that they were more popular than b/eeduo HELP that's both so funny and so frustrating #because as you said. that is NOT cpurpled. that is not my baby (/ref)#oh also please feel free to add on anyone that has any ideas #this was all me spitballing as per usual

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scumcoin · 1 year

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Pondering and Rambling About Isekai A Little Bittttt.....

Rewatching VS Knights of Lamune & 40 Fire. (mouthful of a title, henceforth 40 Fire)

For the unfamiliar, the Lamune series is SD mecha anime series, comparable to Mashin Eiyuu Wataru and Madou King Granzort. in both TV anime the hero is some bozo kid who gets sucked into a video game (in 40 Fire's case, a CD-ROM game that was inserted into a console that suspiciously resembles a playstation) only to be gilded with the title of the great hero Lamuness: in this case, our new protagonist Lamunedo is christened Lamuness the Third. It's pretty much text that Lamunedo is the son of the previous hero... I honestly don't wanna think about it too hard so I won't but his parents look like Milk, the last show's heroine and love interest, and the original protagonist.

It really be like that.

Given I've already watched this show (albeit over a decade ago and never in Japanese, and I suspect heavily censored as well), I probably won't be doing a lot of posts on it, but I recently rewatched a chunk of the original and I've been thinking about both shows approach to isekai and hell, the approach many other isekai shows take. Shows like this, Fushigi Yuugi, Those Who Hunt Elves, et cetera. There... wasn't much "I died and now I'm permanently in another world"... was there? But I'm not really thinking about those shows because I have seen neither, we're talking about Lamuness, a series aimed at kids. There's a lot to unpack about modern isekai's penchant for escapism in a Japan that's settled into its post-Bubble Era woes, but I'm not qualified to talk about something so culturally heavy nor is it super related. But I do wanna touch on the "method" of being spirited away into another world, and the story structure.

Like I said, it's anything but permanent. There's no truck, no sudden heart attack from overwork. Come, Lamuness, time to save the world. There's no time to waste. Get in the fucking TV. The method is an incredibly accessible one, arguably: getting sold a shady CD-ROM for like a dollar and getting whisked away when it boots.

The premise of this series is very goal-based, and it would not be an exaggeration to say that even if the person in these kinds of older isekai in general comes to love the world and decides to stay, there is always the goal of "get back home". Lamunedo has the hefty weight of defeating the demon god's henchmen before they revive him, and when it all ends he gets to go home (sorry for spoiling an anime that's like 25 years old at this point, but that's how most of these ended). In contrast to newer isekai shows where the story begins with the protagonist's life ending, cementing that this is their new life and that they have no real grand goal... unless the goal is to not die. You have to live your new life, effectively an escape from the old life lived previously. The protagonists often skew older in their original lives, office workers over the age of 20 or NEETs who have wasted their lives and what have you. The issue with a lot of newer isekai media is not that they're paint by the numbers, but that because there isn't much of an immediate goal in most, many cannot deliver on the breadth of the premise or many would consider a gimmick. They drown in trying to tick boxes of "you should know the genre the protagonist is stuck in if you've picked up this book/manga/anime, so I'm not gonna think too hard about it either". It's not a diss or anything, but if your protagonist is just going to live and adapt to a new world and you make it the entire premise then you better have thought of the world building at least a little, or give it an actual plot structure to follow that isn't just you going through a buffet table and piling on more cute girls/boys/etc onto the protagonist's plate. They overwhelm with technicalities like video game stats (STOP!!!!!!! STOP PUTTING STATS IN YOUR SHIT I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND YOUR NAME WILL BE IN MY NOTE) and are indulgent in a lot of the wrong ways that may alienate those who do not consume the inspiration of the isekai much.

The best isekai that don't get immediately lambasted by the audience are isekai that dive right into the story without treating the outsider protagonist like someone standing behind the fourth wall at all times, and the rest of the world actually matters. Drawing attention to the fact that other characters are NPCs is tiring and makes me think I'm not supposed to care about them. It creates a vacuum where the only real person in the story is the protagonist and it's difficult to feel for a protagonist when everyone else is treated like an object. Both a literal object to interact with in a video game sense and in many cases a sexual object. Most good isekai will have you forget that the setting is based on something previously assumed to be fictional. It's not enough for the protagonist to be invested in the world, by the way. That's why shit like Shield Hero sucks ass even when you ignore the slavery shit (why would you though?!). I find that I prefer when it seems like the protagonist is in the story just like everyone else, rather than someone who consistently pushes against it. Of course there are many different ways to do it. This is a topic that's way too deep for me, and contrary to what my tone may convey I think that the genre is painted with an unfair brush so a lot of good shows slip through the cracks.

Or to be honest... the fact of the matter is that people are biased and judge stuff harshly just because they're a genre that's in vogue right now. Go figure. <-guy who hasn't even watched that many newer isekai shows

I'll make myself clear here: both old and new isekai are escapist fantasy and I dislike it when people try to paint escapism as a pathetic thing that only the NEW bad isekai shows employ. What's more escapist than being sucked into a video game and being told you're the hero that will save the world? You, a normal kid. What I find refreshing about the Lamuness series that I think newer light novels could learn from. There isn't any "I'll use my experience from the old world". Because Lamunedo is a child, and hero can never be an adult.

So that's a modern isekai shorthand immediately eliminated. (Note that I haven't once called anything a cliche in this post, I don't have that kind of scorn for the genre. I think it'd be good for actual critics to remove this buzzword from their vocabulary unless they truly face off against something that is an actual ripoff, because people have now taken the word cliche and turned it into an entirely negative thing, same with the word trope. But I digress.)

The entire point of the series is to be an escapist fantasy for little kids who love RPGs, but you'll never once see a stat block nor will you hear much of bosses in the video game sense. Sure, maybe the tyke will wonder about home every now and then but after this point you're set off into the story with the express goal of saving the world. There's nothing deep to think about. Traversing through different "space"s and RPG village-like places is a given, and it seems like they're made up as you go unless they're on a map explicitly (they are supposedly, but they still feel made up). You won't hear much about what Lamunedo thinks besides the fact that his (and Da Cider's) BIG COOL MECHA has his blood pumping.

This is what I mean by goal driven: it ironically feels much more like a video game without constantly bringing attention to the fact that it's supposed to be a video game. A big greater goal punctuated by smaller goals and pitstops is how a lot of JRPGs progress. Perhaps it's prescient to compare a lot of newer isekais to an open world game: you're doing... something, there are story important cutscenes, but you meander around until you hit them and often you are sidetracked. It works when you're the one doing it, but when an isekai story is overwhelmed by the lack of nothing it is accomplishing that's when the audience disengages and starts wondering why the protagonist is a fucking idiot, and why they won't do something that actually matters. Have you ever watched someone dick around in Skyrim? Unless you really like Skyrim in my opinion it's not very fun to watch.

I find that this is why villainess isekai is so popular. Many employ the otome genre, which are much more linear in comparison. Sure, you make choices that lead you off to other routes and affect what ending you get, but everyone who plays Norn9 for example is playing the same Norn9 that the next person plays. Even with linear RPGs, you could be underleveled, you could favor certain characters, your experience can still be somewhat varied. Therefore, in a villainess scenario where the base is an otome game, there is an enforcement of an in-game clock where events will happen regardless of how much you dawdle. In fact, slacking tends to be punished. I'm aware that there are similar premises that don't employ a villainess or are based on other genres that are associated with women like management sims and mobile games, but in general they tend to emphasize proactiveness (also I'm speaking very broadly). Even the characters are treated with care. Sure, the heroine may casually spoil their supposed fate and metagame with previous knowledge, but they feel like actual characters.

In any case, as I've stated several times I carry no ire towards the genre. You'll catch me dead before I watch crap like Mushoku Tensei and Shield Hero but there's plenty of isekai manga and anime that I've either enjoyed or am looking forward to enjoying, past or present. But rewatching the Lamuness series got me thinking a lot about it. I wasn't even intending on writing most of what I wrote and I'll be honest when I say I don't consider myself a writer: I'm not the most eloquent and I struggle to express how I feel but by god do I express.

#general thoughts #cullen rewatches 40 fire #isekai #any comments feedback and reblogs appreciated :pleading:#anime essay #essay #isekai is such a fascinating genre even though i dont have much exp with it

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ridiasfangirlings · 10 months

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An au where Iwafune also takes in little Fushimi and raises him.

I'm assuming this means he takes in Fushimi and Hisui, so Fushimi gets his own burrito sibling? Imagine AU where maybe Niki does actually die in the Kagutsu incident and Fushimi happened to be nearby, just avoiding getting caught up himself in the blast. As Iwafune is leaving the area with Hisui he spots little Fushimi, crouched on the ground staring at this crumbled building and a hand sticking out from underneath the rubble. Iwafune knows he needs to get out of there, especially since he's got little King Hisui to deal with, but the Ootori Seigo part of him can't just leave a kid all alone out here. He walks over to Fushimi and tries to steer him towards where there are already emergency volunteers coming to deal with the incident but Fushimi's only staring at him. Hisui suddenly reaches out a hand and imagine Fushimi touching Hisui and glowing Green, his affinity for the Green power allowing Hisui to make him a clansman without even really trying. Iwafune's kinda like well shit but obviously he can't very well leave Fushimi alone now, so he takes Fushimi along with him.

Fushimi's initially kinda shell-shocked in the aftermath, I could see Iwafune struggling to deal with both newly-made King Hisui and the little five year old Fushimi. Imagine him trying to be a good surrogate dad and bringing them dinner only to find Fushimi picking at everything and refusing to eat half his food. Iwafune is starting to wonder if this kid was raised in a barn or something, but he doesn't ask because he's pretty much assumed that Fushimi's family is dead (and then imagine years later he finds out about Kisa after Hisui is creating some jungle mission and her company is involved, Fushimi just flatly says 'that woman isn't my mother' and that's pretty much that). Fushimi doesn't talk about his dad either, Iwafune assumes it's due to trauma which is technically correct but it's more the trauma of Niki's life, Fushimi's actually pretty happy that Niki's dead and he hopes it was really painful and slow under all that rock. When he's very young he doesn't entirely understand what 'clansman' means, only that he has a connection to Hisui that no one else has and that Iwafune keeps telling him this makes him important.

As he gets older Fushimi becomes more involved in jungle, I could see him doing a lot of coding work and server maintenance. I think he'd be satisfied enough when it's just him, Hisui and Iwafune (and Kotosaka, though Fushimi is less happy with the bird). When Yukari joins though I imagine Fushimi being wary and kinda irritated by it, like isn't he enough and why do they need this outsider. When Yukari turns out to be incredibly skilled and strong that makes things even worse, I could see all of Fushimi's issues suddenly bubbling up as he wonders if this important thing he's built with Hisui is going to get destroyed now that someone's here to take his place. Actually I wonder if this would even culminate in some kind of actual betrayal on Fushimi's part, like if he does occasionally leave jungle's hideout – and I assume he would, acting as Hisui's right hand before Yukari joins up – Munakata manages to catch sight of him at some point and tries to actively recruit him. At first Fushimi has no interest but then as jungle gets more members and Fushimi becomes more and more dissatisfied, thinking he's being replaced, and he starts to wonder if he should destroy this home he's had after all before it gets destroyed.

#Fushimi Saruhiko #Talking K #...I haven't thought this far before but jungle betrayal maybe?#Fushimi getting jealous that other people are now close to Hisui #assuming he'll be thrown away #why would Hisui want him when he has other clansmen #and we know what Fushimi does when he has those kinds of feelings

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tallsc · 1 year

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My AvA AU

I've put a lot of thought into various headcanons/au stuff for the stick figures, and decided that I should probably give a cohesive basis for you all to read ^-^

Btw, just like with Control Switch, feel free to ask my versions of the AvA characters questions and I'll respond with a sketch! I've seen other people do this and I've done it with CS already and it sounds really fun.

Headcanon list is below

Most characters have some form of jewelry representing another stick. The Color Gang each have something matching another one of the color gang, Dark and Chosen have each other, Purple and Mango have each other though only after the end of season 3, and the ghosts unfortunately have nothing cause they can't touch stuff :(

DB and Orchid are the oldest, Mango, Dark, and Chosen are all young adults, CG + Purple are all older teenagers, and Gold and Vic are kids. Idk exact ages especially cause I'm not sure how that converts to stick age.

I don't ship any stick (well other than DB and Orchid who were married but that didn't go well) but I don't mind other people doing it, just not for me. ^-^ Plus a ton of them are related in my au so uh definitely for me-

Sticks also don't have any real gender, they don't mind being called whatever cause there's no biological differences. I tend to just use they/them for everyone tho.

Mango is Gold's big sibling who also fills a caretaker role. Ik that isn't the actual canon, but I don't want Mango to be that old, and when watching it the first time they really seemed like siblings to me.

The three ghosts found each other at some point (which I've been writing a few stories on, not quite done either though) so they're friends now.

Ghosts can only be visible in the area they're connected to, generally the area they died in, so Vic is the only visible one most of the time so translates for the other two. Though all ghosts can mess with electric signals so the other two can technically communicate that way.

Dark survived being exploded and is a little more willing to listen to Chosen at this point, so they're both trying to figure themselves out. There at least haven't been any major disasters since then.

Most sticks call Orange Orange (and so do I) because, since all their friends are named after colors, Orange is what they're used to. Their real name is still the Second Coming, and that's what Dark and Chosen tend to call them, but most of the time they just go by Orange.

Purple doesn't sing very often but Green does plenty, it's almost part of how they speak at this point.

I can't remember any more important ones off the top of my head but hope that (plus all the art and stories I've made for these guys already) helps you get a sense of how I see them ^-^

#alan becker #animator vs animation #animation vs minecraft #all the sticks i don't want to list them #headcanons #aftermath au

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heartsofminds · 1 year

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made-up fic: I Want More

okay okay okay so for this one, i'm thinking of times where this is said just randomly throughout the duration of your relationship.

"i want more ice cream" - so the first date is a cute little aquarium date coupled with a walk on the beach and a stop at an ice cream shop he used to visit a lot when he was a kid. i have a feeling that bradley is a chocolate ice cream kind of guy and never sways far from that ever. you get your fave ice cream and he mentions how he's only really ever tried chocolate ice cream and that's all he's ever eaten and you're all like "no way you need to try some of mine" and he's reluctant but you're like "well you paid so technically this is your ice cream too" and he takes a bite and actually likes it and he says that he wants more before waltzing back up to the stand to ask for a second scoop of whatever you had gotten.

"i want you around more" - your one-year anniversary and he's asking you to move in. he's certainly awful at saying exactly what he means and not dancing around the subject so as he's introducing the idea of you moving in he's not being very forward about it which makes you think that he wants to break it off so you cut him off and are like "well i'll head out if that's what you really want" and then he's like "no no no no i was asking you to move in. you know i'm awful with all this vulnerability stuff, but i've realized how much i enjoy you. even if we spend all of our time together anyway, i always want you around more and i want you to move in." (granted, if i actually wrote this, i would be worlds more articulate but this is what we're working with).

"i want more moments like this." - your wedding day. twenty minutes after all the bridal party pictures and fifteen minutes before you're set to come barrelling into your reception as "Mr. and Mrs. Bradley Bradshaw". you both feel like you haven't been able to breathe all day despite it being the best day of your lives thus far. you're holed up in what used to be a storage closet turned "lounge" by the venue; him sat on the velvet chaise lounge and you perched on his lap. your arms wrapped around his neck while his head sinks into your chest. "i feel like this entire day is about us yet i've barely seen you. everything is moving too fast for me to keep up," you say and he scoffs. "not getting cold feet now, are you?" "we're already married, you twit. besides, i can't get my money back from the deposit now so i guess i'm stuck with you." there's a pause before he presses a soft kiss to the exposed skin of your neckline. nothing suggestive, but nothing soft about it either. he almost does it as if it's a second nature to him; as if it's as natural as breathing or blinking. "i want more moments like this. where it's just you and me," he says. you smile before your maid of honor knocks on the lounge. "you two better not be in here screwing because your mom will have my head if she finds out that's the reason you guys were late!" she yells before you both bust into a fit of giggles. if she would have given it three minutes, you would've been caught red-handed.

"I want more kids" - your son isn't older than a few hours and bradley is completely smitten. he's not put your son down since the nurses handed him off, but they're stuck in their own little world. he thinks about the cool things he'll get to teach him, the awesome places he'll get to show him, and the greatest people he'll get to introduce him to despite your son not even having a name yet. the room is silent despite the hustle and bustle of the labor and delivery unit around you, and bradley's voice shocks you when he speaks up. "i want more kids," he says. "let's name the one we have first and then we'll talk, numbnuts."

"I want more time" - so yeah like i imagine it kind of like an allie and noah situation where old age comes into play and it's just such a good love story and such a happy life and i tried to write this part out but started crying while thinking about it? i literally might start writing this as an actual piece in the future

#L speaks #i wasn't planning on putting “bawling in the spare room of my aunt's house at 11 PM” on my 2023 cry count list #but here we are #rooster

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solomonish · 2 years

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i definitely relate to what you said about being uninterested in childrens book when you were younger bc they were so easy! i read jaws in 5th grade but i don’t remember the other series i was reading back then. i read the divergent series, twilight, and the hunger games in 6th-7th grade right in the middle of all the hype! i remember kids wearing mockingbird pins to school, lol. i was obsessed with the infernal devices by cassandra clare in middle school and loved the historical fantasy aspect of it (the shadowhunters/city of bones movie was pretty lame and i grew out of the phase by the time the tv show came around). in 8th grade i finally raided my moms book shelf and her stephen king collection and read The Shining (still one of my favorites), which was my first experience reading like “adult” books instead of YA.

if you’ve already mentioned this i’m sorry for asking again, my memory is not great, but do you still find motivation to read now? i know my love of reading has ebbed and waned over the years unfortunately, but i’ve been getting back that spark lately!

- reading anon

omg no idea how i managed to give such a late response AGAIN i'm so sorry i have no excuse except chronic dumbbrain

honestly though? I didn't get into a whole lot of series as a kid. i read the first twilight book in 4th grade (it took me an entire 9 weeks to do it but I got a bunch of AR points for it - if you are unfamiliar with those I do not know how to explain it but will if u ask lol) and I read the hunger games books like.....LATE into their fame. I only got into the movie series because my older sister, who was in the target demographic for both of those at their height, loved them and when my mom took her to the movies she invited me and what, was I gonna say NO to being out at midnight and eating super buttery movie popcorn?? as I type this i am looking at the giant edward button on my bookshelf that I stole from the stuff my sister left when she moved. Twilight has a special place in my heart lol

But other than that and the children's series I mentioned before, I never really got into the big franchises. I never read H*rry P*tter and have only seen one full movie, never got into LoTR, uh.....whatever other ones, I haven't really read...and I mean this in the least hipster way possible lol. There's something about the Expectation to Enjoy and the Always Being Out Of The Zeitgeist So Why Even Try that just shuts down my motivation to get into them LOL.....so really only Twilight and Hunger Games were crazes I was part of and even then I was at an age where I liked them but didn't really care lol

and my mom really loves Stephen King too! I tried to read his books but honestly....I don't like them :/ I respect his achievements I guess but I cannot get interested in his stories. Idk if it's the way he writes or what but I tried getting into them when I needed challenging material...it didn't work! I also tried to read Nicholas Sparks, who was (maybe still is?) my sister's favorite author but GOD. I DO NOT LIKE HIS SHIT EITHER. And this isn't meanspirited at all, more power to their readers! I'm not one to get uppity about writing styles and fave authors, especially ones I haven't even read a full book from. But those are two authors that were always in my house that I never was able to get into

One author I was able to get into? SARAH DESSEN. Technically I've "aged out" of her books (although I'm of the opinion that you can read whatever you want, no shame...like come on bro we're all just trying to have a little fun) but I've always loved her works from the day I first read them. I remember my first book of hers I read! It was "just listen" and while it's not my favorite of hers, it holds a place in my heart just from being the first one I read. I picked it up off my sister's dresser (she's turning up in this ask a lot lol) and asked if I could read it and she just shrugged and didn't seem into it? But I read it and my eyes were WIDE OPEN to the world of YA romance. Oh god. I was in 6th grade and I was like "this is it. this is the pinnacle of literary achievement." I was in 6th grade, so about 12? I think? and now 10 years later I still check to see if she's got anything new out when I'm at Barnes and Noble. I think there are 2-3 of her books I haven't read and a novella. God. I love her books so much, shamelessly. (I have her most recent book, "The Rest of the Story," in my nightstand but I haven't read it yet - I'm getting there!!) I have 7 of her books stacked up on my bookshelf and I want to read them all eventually. My favorite is probably Saint Anything - idk why, it just. It hit me. That one got me. That one and Lock and Key.

LAST ASK YOU ASKED ME WHAT BOOK I WISH I COULD REREAD FOR THE FIRST TIME? Lock and Key and The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen. I felt like such a badass having those thick ass books on my desk in 6th grade, UGH. I can't believe I forgot that feeling. But i remember now babyyyyy

All this to say I actually...........still don't like most adult writing LOL. I have TRIED to get into contemporary adult writing but most of the time it does NOT scrath that itch. I think I have a few books that would fall under that category that I still need to read and i'm SO OPEN to this changing about me, but I'm honestly still in my little YA corner. The problem with that, though, is that it's definitely not as enjoyable to read, or not in the same way, because I have grown up. And that's not to fault the books at all, not their fault the passage of time exists, but when I was younger I was still looking forward to high school. I'm fortunate where my high school experience wasn't anything I'm particularly jaded by, but I'm a big girl now. The dramatics of these fake teen girls definitely translate to me as, well...dramatic more than anything. Again, that's not BAD and I'm not bashing YA! It's just weird to read these books from the pov that "this is definitely a fiction story (in my lifetime)" as opposed to the 6th grade view of "this is a range of emotions I could technically feel in 3 years." Not that I didn't know it was fiction back then, but come on, who didn't romanticize high school a little bit before they got there? I definitely did.

I am...currently trying to get my bookworm status back, actually! I've gotta be honest, once I hit high school I was so tired of reading textbooks and screens that I stopped reading as much as I used to and it stayed pretty stagnant until my senior year. I took a class that was called "fact and fiction" but it was basically like a book club led by the two best teachers in school. Most of the time we'd read classics as a class, but sometimes they'd have us break off and do our own thing like "read a book that's on the NYT Bestseller's list this month" or "read a book that's been banned" or "read and american classic" - this class is how I found out that The Jungle is actually pretty solid in entertainment value if not a bit hard to get through language wise, Slaughterhouse Five is what I say my favorite book is when i want to sound smart and it is SO GOOD (and I could go on about how it's totally a representation of the author's PTSD but that's a story for a different day), and i absolutely DESPISE The Turn of the Screw. Cool concept, absolute HELL to get through. So that class got me reading again, but then I went to college and then covid hit and I've had some Life Happening To Me and I kinda fell out of the practice again. I'm on book 3 of this year - 12 year old me would be horrified, but 20 year old me is bouncing in her seat - and unfortunately my first two attemtps were...not that great?

The first book I read was called The Warlow Experiment by Alix Nathan and it was one of THE WORST books I've ever read. I thought it'd be some thrilling kind of psychological-experiment-gone-wrong story, but the author somehow took what sounds like it could be thrilling fiction and made it the most BORING story ever. (SPOILERS if u care) It took forever for me to feel like there was ever anything at stake - John Warlow is getting restless? Well, the experiment ends in seven years. Powyss has to prove the worth of his experiment? We won't know if he does that for seven years. Powyss starts an affair with Warlow's wife? Man, too bad we have to wait SEVEN YEARS FOR THE CONFLICT TO HAPPEN. Every character except for Hannah (Warlow's wife) was just like the Worst Possible Version of themselves. You know how a farce is a play where characters are usually one-dimensional with their worst trait exaggerated? THAT'S WHAT THIS FELT LIKE. A LITERAL FARCE. It took me two months to get through that book and I want to burn it. It was so, so awful and burned me out.

Recently I started Tell Me Three Things but Julie Buxbaum, and it was sweet! It was easy to read and wasn't anything spectacularly unique, but it was good and wasn't a chore to get through. I laughed at one (1) thing at the end, and even if it was a bit cheesy, I loved the relationships Jessie had with her friends and stepbrother. Those felt really real, even if they were a bit more wholesome than some relationships tend to be. However, this one has the misfortune of being the first YA book I've read since exiting the YA demographic, so the whole time I read it, I was thinking "wow i should've read this book when I got it. It would've been so much better." Not the fault of the book/author of course, and it was still good. Just nothing I'd report home to.

BUT. NOW I'M ON BOOK THREE. I JUST STARTED IT AND I ALREADY LOVE IT. It's called The House in the Cerulean Sea bu TJ Klune and it's got my attention. I used to think I didn't like fantasy, but this one might change my mind. One of the reviews on the book calls it a mashup of 1984 and The Umbrella Academy and even though I only know summaries of those things (I skipped junior/senior english to take college english so there's a lot fo required reading i was actually not required to do. The Great Gatsby? Still have no idea what a Gatsby is (just kidding i know it's the guy)), I AGREE. I'm only 48 pages in out of 398 but WHOO. I love this author's writing style, it reminds me a lot of what I want to embody when I'm not trying to be super serious (keyword trying, not sure if I have ever actually succeeded in either of these lol), I love that the main character is Just Some Guy, i love the way he describes his cat - I'll send a pic in one sec!

The book is so charming and has such personality and such a good premise that I'm so excited to continue reading it for real. Look at that!!! UGH IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE HOW THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL BUT THIS GUY GETS IT! Also I hear....this book may be gay? 👀 love me some representation (if it's there - if any u spoil this for me i will commit a crime) Also this book is classified as "adult young adult" and idk for sure what that is but it is RIGHT up my alley. More of this please.

So I'm still in a writing slump that has lasted...almost 8 years with like. One bout of clarity in the middle lol. I've always had a passion for the books I've read and the idea of books, but reading them had become a chore that I could never get to on my list. I'm hoping this book turns that around though - I want that feeling of just needing to devour a book in one sitting again.

#long post #and i mean LOOOOOOONG #you had me rambling lol!!#reading anon #asked and answered #i am actually loving these asks. it's like a little book club #all of you are so free to tell me about your favorite books and reading experiences at any point in ur lives #i'm only familiar with american classics but tell me about what you consider classics too!!#or literally anything else. your fave series as a kid. your reading slumps. anything

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hazbincalifornia · 3 months

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Hazbin Liveblog Episode 7

And here we go!

Huh, so the rest of the crew knows already? I wonder who told them- or if Vaggie and Charlie had an argument where everybody could hear.

Classy as always, Angel.

Harsh as it is, I can't really blame Husk- he's been dead something like 50 years and suddenly things have gotten way worse in the last six months, twice. Vaggie still is sticking up for her, though.

PENT AND KEEKEE... there's a theory that the death Viv reiterated in the qna may be KeeKee due to the cards depicting it destroyed, but I'm glad the kitty trusts snakeman now.

I wish we had time to see more of Razzle and Dazzle, I know they weren't in the pilot proper much either but if they were gifts from her dad, it would have been nice to have a bit of focus on them, since I think they've only shown up with that one line from Lucifer and giving her tissues here?

And here's the preview from yesterday! He's so slimy, I love it.

Her hair all messy... dare I say, A Look.

You can just tell whoever boarded this bit had a blast with Alastor in it.

Her little hoofies....

The animation of him kicking his legs like a teenage girl and then moving his head in over from the right like it's a slideshow image is so fucking funny.

I don't know if it's just the lighting in this scene, but I like how their colors look- her skin's more of a peach than white, and his is darker, closer to the tone he probably had while alive.

His animation here is SO good,- the spindly fingers like spiders, how he manhandles her face with his fingers to force her to look up and slides his fingers in his mouth to force up a grin, how he's basically telling her he's putting on a front and he's not actually always happy while he's still being unnerving enough and with such conviction it probably won't sink in it's technically vulnerable... I love it.

With 'years', I really do wonder how long ago Vaggie fell. Five years? Ten?

Oh man, that's the sting from the pilot, isn't it? Or at least it's very close. Have they used that before with him in the series proper?

Huh... he picked up a leaf off the plant and it didn't wilt. I wonder if that's because it was already fallen off the plant, or if that was just a gag from the comic.

Ohhh yep. Called it was going there- she's desperate.

I love the fakeout there- he probably knew that, like it or not, if he made a deal for her soul Lucifer would curbstomp him.

I LOVE the animation when the deal goes through and how both of their true demon forms peek through, I'll have to watch it back closer later.

I wonder if deals between powerful demons are always this 'obvious'? The fact that he said 'right on cue' makes me suspect he pushed it outside the room on purpose.

He must have transferred the info during the process of the deal, I doubt he shouted it over all the Magic happening, lmao.

I'd make a comment about the condescending 'good girl' headpat but I think every one of you knows what it is.

Perfect comic timing on the 'they say insane shit all the time!' 'bank accounts are created by the shadow government!' 'SEE?!?'

Even the bow wilted. I love little touches like that, where clothes carry the mood.

Three years, huh! That makes sense- long enough it's clearly an established relationship, not long enough that it would feel ridiculous that she'd be able to hide it.

So... there are kids there? I can't imagine that boy that couldn't be older than six or seven sinned enough to go to Hell, so they must be Hellborn of some kind. (Plus, it would add to the 'hellborns are safe' thing if it's not just Charlie, since they made no indication that imp dude from Happy Day wasn't just a sinner.

Charlie, you waltzed through the cannibal town during your song a few months ago. How do you not know about a fairly sizable and distinct group apparently not far from the center of the city?

Oh, I love Rosie already. It makes sense she's an Overlord if she runs the cannibal town.

ACE IN THE HOLE, I love it. She's probably been waiting years to use that joke but he never brought anybody back to make it work. (Even if he ever did bring Stellaluna around, the first time would have been back when she was a teenager.)

I imagine he probably brings back extra meat when he takes down enough people, and she offers him any opportunities for good deals in exchange.

Very steady head on your shoulders there, Charlie.

I mean, if I was talking to the leader of a cannibal colony, 'you help us kill people, you can eat all the bodies' is the pitch I'd use too.

The interior design of Carmilla's fortress is gorgeous, and her cool demeanor is so good.

Yesss she's using the shoes as weapons!

THE GIRLS ARE CALLED CANNIBETTES, that sounds like something from girl scouts.

Just had to get that dig in, Alastor. Thanks.

Susan mentioned... and she got a second swear out of Alastor. I'm assuming she's not actually his mom or he wouldn't react like that, ah well. I love how she clearly gets under his skin but Rosie probably tells him he's not allowed to eat her, lmao.

To be fair, she does have big-ass eyes.

Oof, Charlie's definitely stressed.

Great music choice for the fight.

Taking her hair down as soon as Vaggie says she's not used to fighting with long hair just to prove that she's still fine doing so is a power move.

HA, I was wondering if anybody would point out the reasons they made it easy enough to guess if you thought about it enough.

Hey, she's still helping!

I didn't super love Carmilla's voice in Whatever it Takes, but I liked it in Respectless and adore it here. The choreography is great too.

The little smile as it switches to playful and confident, eeeee.

I like Charlie sort of talking herself through this once she gets past the immediately frustration, and how Rosie is clearly very good at helping- which makes perfect sense, as she's helped keep cannibal town a nice place for who knows how long by helping mediate interpersonal problems.

Hey, maybe she was just pitching to the wrong audience!

Giving her his mic is really sweet, since it's sort of like a part of him.

It's... really, really nice getting to hear it in context, since I rewatched the trailer a bunch of times.

She's getting Susan on board and it just took encouraging violence!

He's helping!

I love the detail of one of them having a fox skeleton instead of a full fox on her hat.

C'mon, Charlie, you're getting the cannibals willing to fight for you. Does it really matter how they do?

I'm suspecting that Alastor's plans to guide her are going to be something we grapple with more in s2.

Aww, the little head from the trailer was a gift for Vaggie, that's sweet.

Everything was worth it for Pent's pusssssssssies.

#hh spoilers #shadow says stuff

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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years

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Promise Me You Won't Fall In Love

Summary: You and Tsukishima have been friends since you were kids, and you made a promise not to fall in love with each other. But of course, everything's fine and great until someone (both of you) fucked up and caught feelings.

TW: swearing, mutual pining, unrequited love (it is requited later), minor harassment (not a lot), and there is some derogatory talk from an extra that doesn't even have a name (Kei puts him in his place, I promise).

A/N: So this wasn't requested, but I've been thinking about this one a lot recently and I wanted to do something with it, hence this.

Note: Anything in italics is a memory! Well, not all of it, but the longer sections. Most of the time the one or two word-er things are simply emphasized, that kind of thing.

"Tsukishima, your girlfriend's here to see you!" Sugawara told the middle blocker, and he turned to see you leaning against the wall near Yachi and Kiyoko, laughing at something they were saying to you.

"She's not my girlfriend," Kei muttered, walking over.

"Kei! I knew you'd be here," you said, digging through your bag. "One of the girls in my class wanted me to give this to you."

You handed him a bright pink envelope with black sparkly writing on the front, his name scrawled in almost perfect handwriting.

"Another love letter?" he asked, taking it.

"Probably, I've stopped asking. It makes them think that we're together," you told him, crossing your arms.

Kei sighed, opening the letter with little fanfare.

He scanned through it quickly, rolling his eyes.

One thing he had noticed was that the letters he had been getting were really sucky poetry and fancy words. They knew nothing about him worthwhile and he was pretty sure they just wanted to check off the 'I have a boyfriend' box on their high school checklists.

Kei made a noise of disgust and walked over to the nearest trash can, dumping the letter in.

"I'm assuming that's another no?" you asked, smirking at him, already knowing the answer.

He nodded, ignoring the smirk on your face.

You, Tadashi, and Kei had all been friends since middle school. Kei had known you longer, since you lived in the same neighborhood, but you had kind of adopted Tadashi when you had heard about him being bullied, hence why Kei and you were actual friends now. Tadashi was the link between the two of you that had stuck. Being forced to make conversation as some of the only kids in the neighborhood had simply made you acquaintances.

"If you knew I was going to say no then why would you give me the letter?" Kei asked.

"Because I'm hoping you'll broaden your horizons," you offered, waving your hand dismissively. "Besides, it sends the wrong message if I just throw them away without giving them to you. Not to mention, a lot of the girls don't like me to begin with because I'm one of the few people you can tolerate for more than a few minutes at the time. You've never had a girlfriend, Kei, even if they aren't girlfriend material, couldn't you at least make a few more friends?"

"I can barely deal with you and Tadashi, I don't need anymore friends," Kei told you, and you laughed.

"Keep telling yourself that Kei. I'll see you guys later, alright?"

Tadashi and Kei nodded, watching you leave before they rejoined practice.

"Are you sure she isn't your girlfriend, Tsukishima?" Sugawara asked, watching the blocker with mild interest.

Despite being second years now, their former upperclassmen were showing up more as tournament season drew closer. Though Kei also suspected that they were being nostalgic and that they missed their underclassmen's chaos.

"I'm sure," he assured the former setter. "Why?"

"Nothing, just a hunch," he murmured.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Guys, do you ever wonder how many people see you on the side of the street and think, 'Wow, they are the most beautiful person I have ever seen'?" you asked, as you hung upside down on the monkey bars.

"I think the blood is going to your head, (Y/F/N)," Tadashi teased.

"No, I'm serious," you said, turning to look at him. "I was thinking, earlier, about how Kei keeps getting all these love letters, and it made me wonder how many people see me as attractive, but never say anything. I don't think it's very many," you admitted, "but I wonder if they are out there."

Tadashi sighed, putting his hands on his forehead in an exasperated manner.

"(Y/F/N)," he said, sounding almost breathless, "just because Kei is getting letters doesn't mean that people don't find you attractive."

"I'm not saying people don't find me attractive," you said, swinging yourself up onto the bars again. "I know someone in the world must have standards that low, but just because they find me attractive doesn't mean they would date me."

"Why are we talking about this?" Kei asked, annoyance riddling his tone.

"Technically Tadashi and I were talking about it," you told him. "You were simply listening to the conversation."

"That doesn't tell me why this is the topic of conversation," he countered.

"I'm just saying! Kei keeps getting all these letters, and it makes me wonder if these girls actually think that they're in love with him. Attraction is really just a release of chemicals in the brain from when we were simply a species trying to survive. But that's not love," you said.

"So what's love to you?" Tadashi asked, curious.

"I think real, true love is when you see something that reminds you of them and you smile, even without realizing it. I think it's when it hurts to see them hurt, but you stay by them instead of seeking revenge, knowing they need you in the moment. I think it's the little inside jokes that mean nothing to people around you, but it's everything to you. I think it's knowing that there are plenty of people that are better than you out there, but wanting to stick around to be better for that person, to prove that you're worth it.

"I think it's seeing all the broken pieces, and loving them all anyway. It's remembering the little things. It's being able to sit in complete silence and know what the other is saying just because of the way their eyes crinkle. It's knowing that they have the power to break off new pieces, and trusting that they won't. It's when . . . instead of breaking pieces of yourself so that they can handle you, you stay whole. If they choke, you know it's not love, not really.

"It's knowing that you can stand on your own two feet, but leaning on them anyway. It's knowing that you are your own person, but wanting to share it with someone anyway. It's feeling free and wild, but content to stay still, because you trust them. For me, I feel like love is knowing that someone would read with me on a window seat, watching it rain, but they would also drive just a little too fast down older roads with the windows down so we can pretend, just for a moment, that we're in a shitty music video."

You smiled as you turned yourself upside down on the monkey bars again.

"I think it's kind of like what we have, but more romantic."

"You've been reading too much fanfiction," Kei muttered.

"Maybe," you admitted. "But maybe that's because I want to be able to spew romantic bullshit like that when I finally find a guy that likes me for me. I realize that, realistically, I'll probably never feel like that. Or at least, I won't feel it enough to put it into words like that. Fantasy never lives up to reality after all. But it's a nice thought."

"So, you don't think you'll ever find something like that?" Tadashi asked.

"I think that I'll either end up married to a man that was good enough, or on my own with no social life except you and Kei. I'll rely on work to keep me entertained."

Kei snorted.

"What's so funny you overly salted French fry?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If I ever think you're marrying a man that's just 'good enough', I'll say 'I object!' at the wedding," he told you.

"Oh yeah?" you asked, smiling. "And why's that?"

"Because you deserve more than that," he said, looking you in the eye. "(Y/F/N), you are not the kind of girl that should end up with 'good enough'. You're too . . . free for that. Although, maybe independent is a better word. You would wither with just 'good enough', and that's not something I'm willing to let happen."

"Aw, so you do care about me," you cooed, swinging yourself upright onto the bars. "And don't worry Kei, we both know that Tadashi and I will never let you settle with 'good enough' either."

"What about me?" Tadashi squawked, and you laughed.

"Come 'Dashi," you chided, "we all know that you won't end up with 'good enough' even if you try."

His cheeks went pink and you laughed again.

Kei, as much as he pretended otherwise, really loved seeing you and Tadashi laugh like this. It reminded him that there were people who didn't see just the bastard act that he threw up to protect himself.

He loved the way your dimple appeared when you gave Tadashi that real smile, not the smirk or the grin you gave people. He loved seeing Tadashi carefree and not hiding behind his hand when he laughed or smiled.

He loved being able to sit and watch the two of you interact, but know that he could pop into the conversation whenever.

"Kei, that look on your face is kind of creepy," you teased, sliding to the ground to ruffle his hair, a small way of telling him you didn't mean it. "What's it for?"

"Nothing," he muttered, hoping to the heavens that his ears weren't turning pink, though they probably were.

"Come on Tsukki," Tadashi said, giving him a look, "we've all been friends for years. We know you better than that."

"I'm just glad is all," he murmured.

"Glad for what?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, leaning over them to look at his face.

"You. Tadashi. You know, my friends," he confessed.

Damn it! His ears were definitely pink.

But he didn't shove you off.

Most people assumed that Kei was a jerk all the time, and while that might have been true for anyone else, you and Tadashi were the exceptions to his rule.

You and Tadashi had been friends with him for almost your whole lives, and both of you had been there during the brother debacle.

You and Kei had lived in the same neighborhood for years, and had been a part of more than a few conversations that had been forced by social convention, and your mother had been good friends with his in high school, though they had lost touch after that.

You had noticed Tadashi being bullied in class and had stepped in, defending him and deciding that he was more worth your time than the other kids.

Which led you to Kei, when you found out that he had helped Tadashi on the playground, even if that had never been his original intention.

The three of you had become a trio of sorts in your later years, though your reputations weren't the most . . . innocent.

Kei had always had a sharp tongue and a quicker wit, and his irritation seemed to have no limits.

You were on level with him, though you were much harder to set off than he was.

Tadashi never really provoked, but he watched as the two of you eviscerated anyone that insulted him.

Kei was ruthless with people who made comments on you and/or Tadashi, never giving them a chance to get another word in, though they had often tried, simply making themselves seem more like idiots.

On the other hand, you tended to let people hang themselves with their own tongues, before using that quick wit and sharp tongue to gut them like the pigs that they were.

Tadashi had little confidence on his own, and he tended to be more affected by words than you or Kei, so most of the time he let you and Kei handle people, but every once in a while, he would be set off.

Nothing was scarier than Tadashi getting pissed. He was rarely ever confrontational, but when something set him off, it was terrifying. He got really quiet, and he never raised his voice. There was a quiet kind of fury that radiated from him when he got like that, and if you and Kei used your words to eviscerate, Tadashi used his to give someone hypothermia. He would make them get colder and colder before their brains tricked them into thinking they were too hot, and then ended them.

All three of you were terrifying in your own ways, but that didn't mean you were like that all the time.

Kei wasn't an asshole all the time, and he enjoyed receiving hugs and other types of physical affection, he was just shit at reciprocating it and letting others see that more 'vulnerable side of him', as he put it. He was better at fixing problems logically. He helped you and Tadashi study, or sometimes bought gifts to make you both feel better, little things that still made your days.

Tadashi was someone who might not be confrontational, but he was very good about getting you and Kei out of your heads when something did hit a chink in your respective armors. He knew that both you and Kei were more affected by what people said than most people were led to believe. He was also a very good listener.

You were the giver of physical affection when the boys needed it. Kei tended to need it more than Tadashi, since Tadashi had his moms who were more than willing to give hugs. Kei didn't like his mother thinking anything was wrong, and he didn't completely trust his brother anymore, so physical contact was kept to a minimum.

Tadashi was okay with giving Kei affection, but most of the time, when it came to Kei, you were the one he went to.

You had asked him once, why he always came to you.

"I sometimes think Tadashi puts me up on a pedestal," he had admitted. "He knows me, and he's my friend, but sometimes it feels like I can't disappoint him. I don't feel that way with you. Besides, your short enough that hugging you feels better. Plus, Tadashi is all bones."

"We're glad for you too Kei," you told him, leaning your chin on his shoulder.

Tadashi nodded, taking a seat beside Kei.

Kei's heart clenched, like it often did when he was reminded that he really did have great friends, and his ears got hotter.

"Alright, enough of the mushy stuff," he muttered, trying to wave you and Tadashi away.

"Come on Kei," you whined softly, gently bumping your head with his, "we all know that you have a heart! Don't be that way, it's just us."

Kei made a small noise, and you laughed, releasing him so that you could sit on his other side, peering up into his face with your adorable fucking doe eyes.

"You know you don't have to pretend with us," you murmured, leaning on his shoulder, taking his hand.

"Yeah, we've all been friends for long enough Tsukki," Tadashi agreed, leaning his head on Kei's other shoulder.

"I hate you both," he muttered, trying to hide his face in his hands.

"Nuh uh," you said, pulling away to pull his hands from his face, sounding like a child. "No hiding from us."

You took his hand again, and for a while, all three of you just sat there, enjoying each other's company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tsukishima! You're girlfriend is here again," Suga said, gesturing to where you were walking through the doors of the gym, laughing with Yachi.

"Again, she's not my girlfriend," Kei muttered.

He remembered, suddenly, about the promise you had both made when you were middle school and boys were starting to notice girls and vice versa.

"Kei and (Y/F/N) would make such a cute couple when they're older," your mother had told his, smiling as you both chatted at a neighborhood barbeque, being two of the only children there that could hold an intelligent conversation.

At that point, you and Kei were more than acquaintances, but you weren't exactly friends yet either.

Neither mother had realized that you and Kei had overheard, and when Kei had glanced at you, your nose was wrinkled like it did when you were grossed out by something, your expression mirroring his.

"Promise me something Kei," you had said, turning your attention back to him. "Promise me that you won't ever fall in love with me."

"Why not? I mean, I won't, but I want a reason," he had said, arms crossed as he looked at you.

"Because we're friends," you had said, like it had been the simplest thing in the world. "And because if we ended up falling in love and dating that means Tadashi would feel left out all the time and I won't let that happen. So promise me."

"I promise not to fall in love with you if you promise not to fall in love with me," he had offered.

"Deal," you had told him, offering him your hand to shake on it.

"Ah, Kei, there you are!" you said, smiling at him. "There's another letter. Based on the amount of hearts on it, another confession."

"Keep it," he muttered, pushing your hand away when you went to hand him the letter.

"Kei, I don't want to carry around another one of your love letters," you said, wrinkling your nose. "These aren't for me, and they make me sick, so please, for the sake of our friendship, take the damn thing off my hands so I can wash them."

He sighed, a pained sound that had you laughing, and took the letter, slipping it into his bag, wondering if the girls at school would ever take a hint that he wasn't interested.

"Why is Tsukishima so popular with the girls?" Hinata wondered out loud. "His personality is so crappy."

"And I don't think I've ever heard him say a nice thing to anyone," Kageyama added.

"That's because you guys are irritating to Kei," you interrupted, turning to them, arms crossed and hip cocked out to the side. "Most of the time, he's helpful and respectful. You two just aren't the kind of people he would voluntarily hang out with."

"Rude," Hinata cried, then pouted, "but true."

"The only people Kei really rips into are people he doesn't like, doesn't respect, people who disrespect Tadashi or me, or people who betray his trust. You two are options one and two."

"He just seems like an unfeeling asshole, even after three years of knowing him."

"I think it's the opposite actually," you told them.

Kei could feel your eyes on the back of his head, either unaware that he could hear you or uncaring that he was listening.

"I think he feels all of it, at one hundred and twenty percent. He just acts like that to avoid getting hurt in most cases. In your case though, he really does just not like you. Or, more accurately, he doesn't like that you two are so clearly passionate about something when he gets scared of something hurting him if he cares too much. Like Tadashi told you once, Hinata, if Kei didn't at least like volleyball, he wouldn't be here. Just think about it," you told them.

"(Y/F/N)!" Tadashi called. "We're still studying at your place right?"

"Yeah, just like always," you assured him. "Kei, you still have the spare key, just let yourselves in."

He nodded, spinning the ball in his hands as he watched you walk away.

"Tsukishima, are you one hundred percent sure that she isn't your girlfriend?" Suga asked, eyebrows raised at him.

"Three hundred percent sure," Tsukishima grunted as he served the ball.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why do you never accept any of the confessions, Kei?" you asked, looking at him from over the top of your textbook.

Your head was hanging off the side of your bed and your socked feet were crossed at the ankles, resting on your wall.

Kei's neck hurt just looking at you, but he didn't say anything to you about moving.

"Because they aren't my type," Kei muttered, checking his notes before writing down an answer on his paper.

"What is your type?" you inquired, rolling onto your stomach, setting you book to the side. "Because I don't think I've ever seen you take an interest in a girl." You frowned, then added, "Romantic interest I mean."

Kei wondered what other interest you had thought he might get out of that, but he decided not to question it. Despite knowing you for years, and being as close to you as he was, you still managed to be somewhat of a mystery to him.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"Yes, because I want to be able to set you up when you decide you're ready for a relationship!" you said. "Tadashi and I would make great wingmen. Well, wingman and wingwoman, but you know what I mean."

Kei actually turned to look at you at that one.

"You're serious," he muttered, noting the look on your face.

"Yes! Unless you don't think you're going to want a romantic relationship, which is completely okay too. I just want you to be happy is all."

"You know what makes me happy?" Kei asked, pausing to let you answer, but instead you stayed quiet, watching him with those damn doe eyes. "Getting my homework done and not having to deal with confessions from girls that don't know the first thing about me."

Kei heard your small chuckle, and as he went back to his homework, he found himself smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei had always known that, objectively, you were very pretty (he had heard enough from his classmates over the years to have it verified), but sometimes you did something, and he would realize all over again.

Today you had laughed a little harder as he ripped into someone, and you had given him one of those dimpled smiles that he adored so much, and he had stood there blinking for a moment before he cooled his expression again.

Kei didn't really understand why he got so mad when someone flirted with you in the hallways, or when you came to cheer the team on during games.

He had always assumed that it was merely because you were such good friends, but then he had realized that no one else got that mad, they didn't feel the same painful burning in the pit of their stomachs at seeing you with another guy.

Asking Suga had done absolutely nothing, the setter had merely suggested that Kei was jealous, which was absolute bullshit, and he wasn't desperate enough to contact Bokuto or Kuroo yet, though he might be at the point of asking Akaashi.

He would know if he liked you the way that the older setter was implying. He would know if he was in love with you.

Right?

Kei could worry about that later, right now he was more interested in getting that guy's hand off your shoulder and away from your neck.

"(Y/F/N)," Kei called, striding over, back straight. "The game's about to start, we've got to go."

"Kei!" you chirped, smiling at him, moving to his side immediately, giving the guy that had been bugging you a sugar sweet (and utterly fake) smile over your shoulder. "See you around never, hopefully!"

Kei pressed his lips together to hide his smile, letting you wrap your hand around his.

"Was that guy bothering you?"

"A little, but you got there just in time," you told him, your hand tightening it's grip for a moment before you let him go. "Thanks for always having the most amazing timing Kei!"

"Yeah, whatever," he told you, bumping your shoulder with his.

"Seriously, what is it with the girls that hang around with us and wandering off?" Daichi asked when you walked into the gym with Kei.

"Sorry guys! I just wanted to buy a key chain," you said, holding it up, grinning. "It's not my fault that athletes can't take no for an answer! Sometimes I think your on-court determination bleeds over into everyday life."

There were some nods, and Kei watched as the guy that had been bothering you stepped onto the other side of the court.

He followed the guy's eyes to you, where you were laughing at something Kageyama said.

Did- Did that moron just lick his lips at you?

Kei felt that burning sensation in his stomach again.

Kei didn't realize that he had been glaring until he heard your voice right next to him.

"Anyway, good luck guys!" you told them, affectionately ruffling Tadashi's hair, hip-checking Kei on your way into the stands, flashing him that damned dimpled grin over your shoulder.

"Hey, Blondie!" the guy called. "You, Glasses! I'm talkin' to you!"

Kei turned to see the guy from earlier smirking at him.

"Dude, your girl is so hot!" he said.

Kei felt the entirety of Karasuno tense behind him as they realized what was going on.

"Yeah, she is," Kei agreed.

"Think you'd be willin' to share her with me? I promise I'd take good care of her."

"Oh shit," someone muttered, and Kei saw red for a moment before he got himself under control.

"Is your ass jealous about the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?" Kei asked, putting his hand on his hip.

Using insults like that was never really his thing, but he was really pissed right now.

"Hey, Tsukki," Tadashi said quietly, "you might not want to-"

"What did you just say to me?" the guy asked.

"Hey, Kei!" you called from the stands, waving at him to catch his attention. "Leave the smack talk for when you actually win! Block his spike down his throat for me, alright?"

He nodded, giving you a grin that had you giving him one right back.

"God forbid if she was a guy and they were on the same team," Suga muttered, and the others nodded.

"Alright, time for the game to start," Daichi said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei did as you asked: he blocked every single spike that the guy tried to send over the net, and Kei could already tell that the guy was pissed at the end of the first set.

He was spiking more and more aggressively, which was screwing up aim to the point where Kei didn't even really need to block.

"Go Karasuno!" you cheered, smiling at the team from the stands.

Kei, every time he felt his anger getting out of control, looked to you in the stands to calm down.

Finally, the scumbag was so out of control that he was switched out with another wing spiker.

From there, the game was easy.

By the end of it, Kei hadn't even needed to look for you in the stands. Not only had he memorized where you were, but no one else on that team pissed him off as much as that scumbag did.

As soon as the ball landed on the other side of the court, and it was called, you were running down from the stands, running for him.

"Kei! You were so great!" you cheered, wrapping your arms around his neck, jumping at him.

He wrapped his arms around your waist to keep the both of you from falling over, and he buried his face in your neck as he set you down.

"Oh my gosh, Kei that was so amazing! I think that's the best you've played all season! Seriously! Some of those blocked looked like they would've ripped my arms off, that was so cool!" you gushed, holding onto his forearms.

Kei nodded, giving Tadashi a look over your shoulder for a moment, letting him know that it was okay for him to go on ahead.

"Thanks for blocking the slime ball for me Kei!" you said, smiling up at him. "And what did he say to you that got you so pissed off? I haven't seen you that mad in forever!"

"It was nothing," he told you, "it was stupid."

"Are you sure?" you inquired, looking up at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure the team will tell you about it later."

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," you told him, "'cause you looked really pissed. I haven't seen you that pissed off since that one guy tried to make Tadashi cry."

"I don't like it when people make you uncomfortable like that," Kei said. "It really pisses me off."

"Is that why you kept looking at me during the game?" you asked, and Kei wondered if any other girl would've been so honest with him about something like this, or if it as just the fact that you had both spent so much time together growing up. "I noticed that you always looked at me whenever you had the chance."

Kei nodded, gesturing with his head towards the doors, so that he could catch up with the team and talk with you at the same time.

"Yeah, that was one of the reasons. It kept me focused on the scumbag's spikes, and it calmed me down enough so that I didn't punch him whenever we were across the net from each other."

"I kinda wish that you had, but I also know that it would've gotten you ejected from the game, which is not something I want to happen. Anyway, thanks Kei," you told him, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, always," he said, putting his hand on your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was when you were over at his house Sunday morning when he realized that he might need to call Kuroo and Bokuto.

You, Kei, and Tadashi had had a sleepover, but Tadashi had left early to spend some time with his moms, so Kei had woken up to you with a hand on his chest and his arm numb from where it was pillowing your head.

The three of you had been sitting on Kei's bed watching a movie, but Tadashi had tipped over sometime near the halfway marker, and Kei had fallen asleep not long after that, so he could only assume that you had fallen asleep sometime after Tadashi had left this morning.

Kei turned on his side slowly, not wanting to wake you up, wrapping an arm around your waist softly.

He toyed with your hair, twisting it in his fingers gently, brushing it behind your ear, threading his fingers through it.

He wasn't ready to get up for the day yet, so he laid there with you, wondering how it would be ten years in the future.

Would your hair be longer? Would you cut it shorter? Would you dye it? Would you have kids by then?

That last one had made him pause.

He had always known that short of you dying or some huge falling out, Kei was in no way going to be able to get rid of you or Tadashi, but he had never even considered dating you, let alone anything beyond that.

So why was he wondering what your kids would look like? Why was he wondering how many you would want, if any? Why was he questioning how many stray animals you might bring home after work?

He sounded like every lovesick fool that got his heart broken in those weird movies that Tadashi liked to watch.

Kei glanced down at your face, and he suddenly found himself unable to think of a reality where he didn't wake up like this for the rest of his life.

When had he stopped seeing you as his little sister, or the annoying female friend that all of his classmates admired? When had he started seeing you as someone he could fall in love with, if he hadn't already?

But even with this new revelation, he couldn't bring himself to pull away from you.

Kei loved it when you both bickered like you hated each other, and he loved when you were able to throw back any insulting thing he said to you. He loved being able to have real conversations with you, but he also liked just sitting quietly with you.

This though, this was by far his favorite thing, seeing all the stress gone from your body, seeing your face without any kind of mask on, he adore seeing the calm serenity that came with sleep.

"Mm, Kei?" you asked sleepily, glancing at him. "What time is it?"

"Still early," he murmured, tucking you into his chest again. "Go back to sleep."

"M'kay," you said, nuzzling in close.

Kei waited for a minute before he grabbed his phone and his glasses from the side table, texting Kuroo.

Normally, he would've talked to Tadashi, but Kei didn't want to drag him into anything until he knew for sure, just in case he was wrong.

Kei: I have a question for you

Kuroo: What's up Tsukki-poo?

Kei: First, don't call me that

Kei: Secondly, and this is completely hypothetical, but how do you know when you love someone?

Kuroo: Aww, is my little kouhai in love with someone? How cute!

Kei made a face, taking a deep breath and glancing at you quickly before he turned his attention back to his phone.

Kei: Just answer the question

Kuroo: We're talking hypothetically?

Kei: Yeah

Kuroo: Can't you use the internet for this stuff? Why ask me? Why not ask Freckles? Or the pretty setter on your team?

Kei: The internet would tell me I have cancer, not that I might be in love with someone

Kei: Secondly, as for the setter comment, I'm assuming you mean Suga

Kei: Thirdly, he would go tell Tadashi, and then the possible love interest, and I don't want to deal with any of those things

Kei: So, please, for the sake of my sanity, just answer the question

Kuroo: Alright, alright. Jeesh. Hypothetically, if you were in love with someone you might start noticing their presence more

Kuroo: It would feel almost like you have a compass where the needle points to them, and you can't turn it off. You notice the little things more than normal, and you know them. I mean, really know them. They feel almost like a part of you

Kuroo: Seeing them hurt hurts you. You constantly feel the need to make sure that they're okay. Even the little things that kind of annoy you are a huge part of what you love about them

Kuroo: You find yourself smiling at them, even when they're doing something completely mundane, and you could recognize their voice in a crowd. Suddenly, they went from just another person, to someone that you could find in a crowd, even if they blend in enough that they normally fade into the background

Kuroo: Hypothetically speaking, of course

Kei was surprised by how much his mentor was able to type out in such a short amount of time, but in the end, he was most surprised by how much it lined up with what you had told him earlier. The basics were the same, and Kei sighed, realizing what this meant for him.

Kei: How to I make it stop?

Kei: Hypothetically

Kuroo: When I figure that out, I'll let you know

Kei blinked at that, then sighed again.

Kei: Thanks, Kuroo-san.

Kuroo: Sure thing Skinny, let me know how it goes

Kuroo: Hypothetically, of course

Kei couldn't help but chuckle softly, and he set his phone aside, wondering whether this was going to change anything, and how long he had been in love with you.

He had always noticed the little things about you, it was just a part of him being perceptive, and he had grown up with you, so he automatically knew you better than 80 percent of the people you went to school with.

But he was more in tune with your presence than even Tadashi was. And he had always managed to pick your voice out in a crowd.

He glanced down at you, and suddenly, instead of being worried about if he was in love you, he was more worried about whether you loved him back or not.

Kei debated texting Tadashi, but he decided that it could wait, and he wanted to enjoy this time with you unhindered.

Kei knew that he was never going to say anything unless he was sure you felt the same way about him.

For one thing, you were nice enough that it was entirely possible that you would date him just because you were too nice to say no. For another thing, he wasn't the kind of guy to make a move if he thought it wouldn't lead to a win. Not to mention, that if you he did ask you out and you said no, that might make things awkward in the friend group, and Kei didn't want that to happen.

He had gone this long, right? What was a few more weeks?

But, of course, things didn't go the way that Kei wanted them to.

As the end of a semester approached, as well as the end of the year, projects piled on, as did speeches and tests.

Kei had always done well academically, and he wasn't as stressed as some of the other people he knew, like Hinata and Kageyama.

You seemed to be feeling the pressure too, even though Kei knew that you were going to be getting some of the higher grades in class, just like always.

You were freaking out more than usual, and Kei realized that he needed to do something if he didn't want you to overwork yourself.

He found you on the swings at the park by your house.

He had gone over to make sure that you had eaten something, but your mother had told him that you had gone out earlier, and that she didn't know where you were.

"Hey," he said, announcing his presence as he settled beside you.

"Hey Kei," you replied, staring at the ground in front of you like it held the key to the universe.

"Are you okay?"

"No," you admitted. "I'm so nervous and freaked out that I can't eat anything. I have that weird mineral deficiency so drinking water just makes me really dizzy and I almost passed out when I stood up at the end of the day and there's nothing I can do about it! Not to mention that, once again, I got stuck with the morons that aren't going to do anything to help me with the project so I'm stuck doing everything by myself. For some of my classes, that's okay, I can just tell the teacher that they didn't help, but for some of them they're going to give me that bullshit lecture about working together. I have no idea what to do my speech about for that one class, and I have so many back to back tests that I think I might forget everything!"

Kei let you ramble, watching the way your hands moved around, trying to communicate the stress and anger and nerves that you were experiencing all at once.

He watched the way yours eyes widened and squeezed shut to add extra emphasis. He watched the way you glanced over at him to make sure that he was still paying attention, to make sure that you weren't annoying him, the way you smiled a little bit whenever you noticed that he was watching you and that you weren't annoying him by talking.

Somehow, you started talking about the constant love letters that he was getting.

"I mean, I get that some girls feel the need to have a boyfriend," you said, rolling your eyes, "but I have bigger things to worry about than their attraction to you, you know? One girl gave me a letter the other day, and I was so tired that I didn't realize what it was, and I started to read it and I was caught between wanting to laugh, cry, and hurl all at the same time."

Kei perked up at that.

"It made me kinda sad too," you admitted, your voice quieting. "I mean, it must really suck for you, getting all these letters claiming that they love you when they don't even know that first thing about who you are. I mean, it was hilarious that she even thought that you were interested in getting a girlfriend, and it was sickening how many times she used the words 'hot', 'sexy', and 'unadulteratedly handsome' to describe you."

Kei knew he made a face at that, with the way you laughed, before you continued, your voice even quieter than it had been, "But it made me sad to think that you keep having to read these things. They claim that they love you, that they want to be with you, and they don't even know who you are. Not in a way that matters at least. I don't know, it was just kind of depressing I guess."

You glanced at him, turning to face him.

"I hope you don't mind, but I started throwing them away. I'm getting sick and tired of being their carrier pigeon, and I really hate thinking about you having to deal with them all the time. If they want to confess they can find another way to do it."

"I don't mind, at all," he assured you, and you smiled at him.

But then your smiled faded into something similar to a frown.

"Hey, Kei?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember that promise we made when we were kids?"

"How could I forget? You never shut up about it during middle school," he teased.

"I broke that promise," you whispered. "That was one of the reasons that those letters made me so upset. As someone who has loved you, really loved you, for longer than they've known about you, it made me sick to read some of the things they said. I know that that makes me sound like some kind of possessive bitch, but it's true."

Kei stared at you, wondering if he had just heard that right.

You were in love with him? And had been for more than three years?

Kei felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

"What's with the face Kei?" you asked. "I thought you knew already."

Kei didn't think that his eyes could get any wider than they were at that moment.

"Y-You . . . I-I what?"

"Come on Kei, you had to have noticed by now," you said, looking more concerned by the second. "I mean, it's not like I act the same way around everyone else that I do around you."

Kei let his brain process the things that you were telling him before he managed to squeak out, "You mean, like a friend thing right?"

You bit your lip, checking his face for something, fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

"No, Kei," you said finally. "I mean like, I want to be your girlfriend kind of love."

You weren't looking at him now, and he was worried you were taking this the wrong way. He didn't want this to end in a misunderstanding so he sighed dramatically.

"So, you're telling me that I could have confessed months ago and avoided the entire overthinking part of my recent internal panic?" he asked, watching the way your brows furrowed with confusion, the way your head whipped up when you finally realized what he was saying to you.

"A-Are you saying that the feeling is mutual?" you asked, eyes wide as you both looked at each other.

"Yes, you dumbass," he teased, smiling softly at you. "I broke that promise too, so it's okay, since we both broke it."

Now you were the one staring at him in disbelief.

Then you were off your swing and pacing in front of them, waving your hands around like a madwoman.

"Holy shit, you love me back," you muttered, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye every few seconds, like you were worried he would disappear. "I-I don't know what to do from here. I never thought that I would get this far. Is . . . is this where we talk about whether we want this to be a serious thing?" you asked. "Is this where we agree that we love each other but we pretend like nothing's changed? What am I supposed to do in this situation?"

"For one thing," Kei said, standing so that he could wrap his hands around your wrists, gently making you look at him. "You could calm down and let me get a word or two in before you make yourself black out."

You nodded, taking a deep breath.

"For another," he continued, "you and I should go back to your house. Your mom is worried sick about you, and you need to eat something before you pass out. We can have a serious talk about what this means once you aren't in danger of passing out from exhaustion or malnutrition."

"Okay, but only because I know that you're going to make me do it anyway," you told him, making him laugh.

You both walked in silence for a while before you asked, "When did you realize?"

"A few months ago," he admitted. "I think I've always known, but that guy- the slimeball that I blocked- got on my nerves enough that I knew it wasn't some platonic 'protect a friend' thing. I started seeing it more and more after that. I talked to Kuroo-san about it when I was nearly 100 percent sure, and that solidified it for me I guess, that night you and Tadashi stayed over and we watched that horrid slasher film. I woke up and you were right there by my side, and suddenly I couldn't imagine waking up any other way."

"That really was a horrible movie," you muttered. "I didn't think you were going to be the cheesy one today, but then again, you are always surprising me. And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was worried it would make things awkward, and I didn't want to say something and be wrong, you know? Besides, you can't say anything. How long have you known?"

"Do you remember the summer before our third year in middle school and we all stayed at my grandparents' camp for three weeks?"

"That long? We were- what?- twelve?"

"Yeah. I remember that there was a thunderstorm the first night we were there, and I got up in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep, so I stood on the deck, in a tank top and shorts because I wanted to. I don't even remember how long I had been out there when you wandered out. I remember calling you a dumbass because 'What if I was a murderer?' and you just called me short.

"We both stood there for a few minutes, and when I shivered, you wrapped your arms around my waist from behind me, pressing your chest to my back and calling me an idiot for wearing something so light in the middle of a thunderstorm. Instead of doing the sensible thing and getting a blanket or a jacket, you just hugged me and stood there with me until I couldn't stand it and we went inside."

Kei remembered that. He had seen you standing out on the deck when the lightning had flashed, and he had been worried when you weren't in your room, so he had gone out to check on you.

You had looked so happy, standing there in the rain, listening to the thunder crash in the distance.

He had wanted to stay with you, so he had.

It was one of the first times he had decided that he didn't care what it looked like, he cared for you, and he was going to show it somehow.

Kei slipped his hand into yours, interlacing your fingers together.

You glanced at him, but you didn't say anything, just squeezed his hand and walked with him.

When you both got back to your house, you grabbed a plate of food and plopped down at your desk in your room.

Kei lounged on your bed while you ate, watching you flip through a textbook and scribble notes in between bites of food.

When you pushed the plate to the side, your turned to face him.

"So."

You both locked eyes and chuckled.

"I already told you what I wanted out of this," you told him, shrugging. "I'm fine with whatever we decide, but that's my best case scenario ending for this."

"You make this sound like a business meeting," he teased, watching you stand up to move next to him on your bed.

"What do you want from this, Kei?" you asked, glancing down at your lap.

"I want you to be my girlfriend," he admitted. "I want to glare at guys that think they even have a chance with you. I want to kiss you for good luck before a game, all that sappy shit that everyone says that I wouldn't be into."

You smiled, laughing a little breathlessly for a moment before you comprehended everything he said.

"All of it?" you asked, turning those damned doe eyes on him again.

"All of it," he confirmed.

You chuckled softly, taking his hand again.

"Good. Me too."

"Good," he replied, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.

You giggled, something that made Kei stop for a moment, because you weren't the type of girl to giggle, at anything.

He smiled softly at you, and he wondered how much shit he was going to get from his team with you around, but he realized that it wasn't anything he needed to worry about yet.

Then he remembered something else.

"Hey, do you want to cause a little chaos?" Kei asked you.

"How so?"

"Remember how I said I talked to Kuroo-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he wanted me to let him know how it went," Kei admitted. "I have him, Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev, and Hinata in a discord group chat. I want to try something, if you're okay with it."

"What do you have in mind?" you asked, arching an eyebrow, a smirk on your lips that said you were up for almost anything.

Skinny: img.jpg

Skinny: Thanks Kuroo-san

five people are typing...

Kei laughed, leaning over to show you the chaos that had ensued when he had sent the group chat the photo of you kissing his cheek.

You giggled at the many exclamation points and question marks, snickering at Kuroo's reply.

"I love you," you told him, kissing his cheek again.

"I love you too," he said, ignoring the calls that were coming through on his phone as he leaned over to cup your face in his hands.

504 notes · View notes

libraryofloveletters · 3 years

Text

Love Delivered To Your Doorstep

Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of cheating, break ups and killing/serial killers. (<in a joking context)

Category: fluff for the most part.

Word Count: 3.9k

Author’s Note: Doesn’t follow canon, it has a little of buck begins in there but it doesn't follow a strict timeline. It also is written like Buck moves to LA and has his apartment from the moment he moves there while trying to figure out what he wants to do.

-----

Texting and calling was never your choice method of communication.

Letters had always been more of your thing.

Truthfully, they hadn't been your thing until your boyfriend moved halfway across the country for university. The two of you met in high school, freshman year and became inseparable since. Growing together and promising to always love each other no matter what -you always knew that couldn't be true but it never stopped you from telling him.

When he told you that he was going to be applying to UCLA during your senior year of high school, it came as a bit of a shock to you. The plan was always going to college together, get engaged when you were done school and then married with a house by 30.

You held out the hope of that being possible until the day he showed you his acceptance letter.

You were incredibly proud of him but it was real now, he was leaving.

You watched him pack up his entire life and uproot himself from New York and moved across the country. You sent the first letter to him at what was supposed to be his apartment.

September 30th.

‘Hi baby!

Just writing to see how you're settling in. How’s UCLA ? Have you gotten a chance to go around and get to see the place ? I know you’re there for school but you've got to live a little too. Hope your neighbours are sweet, your mom told me it’s a pretty nice place and it’s got a good view, sounds like your type of place. Hopefully I can come visit you soon.

I started my classes last week. My chem professor is a pain in my ass already, he expects us to read an entire textbook in a week - well not exactly an entire textbook but you get the point. My biology professor is a sweetheart, she showed us pictures of her kids and talked about them for an hour, I didn't realize being a mother was so interesting but she was cool. Also showed us a video of an appendectomy that one of her colleagues performed last week. How are your classes and professors ?

Did I mention I bumped into Sam at the grocery store ? Yeah, he’s back and he’s not fine to tell you the truth. He seemed like he was ready to snap but that might just be my judgment. He said to tell you hello if I spoke to you so- hello :)

I’m going to sign off here, I know this one is short but I don’t have much to update you on. Life’s been pretty dull without you. Hope you’re having fun out there, soaking up the sun for me.

Write me back soon, I love you.

Yours always, y/n’

You mailed the letter the next day, a few weeks had passed before you received a letter back. Except this letter had a different sender name but the same address.

October 22nd.

‘Hi y/n,

This isn't your boyfriend. (I'm assuming that’s who you're writing too based on the context of the letter) I’m Evan, I live in the apartment you thought belonged to your boyfriend or maybe you got the address wrong, I’m not sure. I know you were waiting for an update on all these exciting things that are happening at UCLA. I do not go to UCLA nor can I update you in anything exciting that’s happening there, sorry.

Anyways, the reason I'm writing you back is because I figured you’d want to know that this isn't the correct address and the person you were looking for isn't here before you send another letter and get no response. I was debating if I should have even written you back, but here I am, writing you back.

Your professor for chem seems like an ass to be honest (hope that’s not rude) and your biology professor sounds great, is she hot by the way ? because bonus points for that. Anyways, are you studying medicine ? I'm guessing yes because of the classes you're taking. I'm thinking of signing up to become a first responder but I haven’t decided yet on what yet or if I'm actually going to do it. Anyways, good luck on your classes and the shitty chem professor.

Hope you find your boyfriend (again, assuming)

Peace out,

Evan.’

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. How could the letter you sent to your boyfriend’s apartment belong to someone else ? Why was there someone else living in his apartment ? You dug through your apartment, searching for the paper he left you with the address, you finally found it buried in a drawer.

The address on the paper was identical to the one that Evan sent to you and to the one you sent prior to that. Either your boyfriend was lying or you were losing your mind.

November 4th.

‘Dear Evan,

I'm sorry that I sent the first letter to you and as you guessed, I was looking for my boyfriend who seems to be a bit MIA right now. His mother says that’s the right address and the place that she helped him move into. So I'm not really sure what’s happening there. Anyways, sorry for unloading all of that on you.

To answer your question, yes, I am studying medicine and no, she isn't hot. My bio professor is a 65 year old woman who loves her college aged kids very much. If that’s your definition of hot, then yes - she's got milf status

Have you decided yet if you’re going to sign up to be a first responder ? That’d be pretty cool. Imagine all the girls swoon over you and how many girls you’d pick up just for being a paramedic or a firefighter.

Wait, are you into girls ? Or guys ? You know, whoever you're into, just imagine how many of them you’d pick up.

Also, you’re not a murderer or anything right ? because I rather not answer questions when the police come asking about why I've been sending letters to a serial killer.

Anyways, signing off for now.

Yours always, y/n.

ps. if you do end up bumping into or meeting a guy that looks like my boyfriend, (tall, brown hair, brown eyes. he’s got a pierced ear and a little butterfly tattoo by his collarbone- though not sure why or how you'd see his collarbone) let me know or tell him that his girlfriend is looking for him.

Double ps, what size shirt do you wear ?’

Buck laughed at your absurd question. A person he didn’t even know was asking what size shirt he wore. The letter was set on the coffee table with the rest of the mail, getting buried under all of the stuff he had on there. It was almost the end of December when he realized that he hadn't written you back yet.

December 21st.

‘Hey y/n,

Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. Things have been hectic over here. I’ve been doing some ‘soul-searching’ - I guess you could call it that and honestly, I don’t think if this whole first responders thing is for me.

I tried out bartending or well, the technical term is mixologist and I’m liking it so far, I think i’m going to stick with it for now.

How have you been ? How’s school ? Surely, you’re on break for the holidays right about now or at least when you get this letter. I hope that you're spending the break doing something fun.

I’m not going to make this very long, I’m sure you’ve been busy with whatever you’re doing right now.

Also, I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you located the mysteriously disappearing boyfriend yet ? I haven't seen anyone that fit your description.

well, that’s not true- I did and just to be sure I asked to see his collarbone, he looked at me like I was a mad man so I guess it wasn't him ?

Anyways, I hope you have a good holiday and you're probably gonna get this sometime between holidays, so merry belated (?) Christmas and happy New Years y/n.

Peace out,

Evan.

ps. medium or large, depending on what it is. Hopefully that answers your question weirdo.’

January 13th.

The morning of the 13th, he went down to check his mail. A box was there with his name on it, the return address was one he had only seen on an envelope. The box returned upstairs with him, setting it on the counter before opening it.

Upon opening it, there was a letter and some colourful tissue paper with what seemed like a sweater under it. He opened the letter first.

‘Dear Evan,

Happy New Years! How was your holiday going ? Did you do anything fun ?

I’ve been good and school is good too, I'm almost done my first year, isn't that crazy ? Just a few more months to go.

How’s your job as mr. mixologist going ? I'm sure you’ve met some wild people and heard some interesting stories.

As for the boyfriend situation, that's over. I’m not surprised to tell you the truth but it still kinda sucks. Anyways, so what happened was that his older brother had come home from college last year and brought a friend with him. She went to the same school as his brother but transferred to UCLA- anyways long story short, they hooked up while he and I were still together and he moved in with her after his mom helped him move into the apartment I thought he had.

But! I’m single and chilling now so it’s all good. (bonus, she cheated on him and left him so yeah)

I got you a little something for Christmas and as a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present. I was in the gift shop and it made me think of you. Do you celebrate Christmas? I forgot to check oops. If you don't, count it as a just a “sorry for unloading all my boyfriend drama on you” present?

I got a large because I wasn't sure if it would fit. I hope you like it. That’s all for now.

Yours always, y/n.’

He unwrapped the tissue paper to see a blue sweater with the letters NYU on it. He smiled, he assumed that’s where you went. It was sweet that you took the time to get him something, even if it was a by the way thing. Not a lot of people would send something to a person they had been talking to via letters and halfway across the country.

February 12th.

2 days before Valentine's Day, your least favourite holiday of the year. You weren't looking forward to watching all your friends going on with their boyfriends and girlfriends. The mail had arrived while you were out, you picked it up and headed in. There were two envelopes with your name on it, a plain white one and a red one. The red envelope was more squared than rectangular, you assumed it was a card- both had the same sender name.

‘Hey y/n!

Thank you for the sweater, it was nice of you to think of me and get me something. I didn’t know we were doing gifts or I would have sent you something as well and yes, I do celebrate Christmas.

My job as ‘mr. mixologist’ was going well until I quit. It just didn’t feel like the right fit for me you know ? I'm going to see what else is out there for me.

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend, he seems like a douche. Who would cheat on you ? You seem great I mean at least you are on paper (did you get my joke, it’s hard to tell)

Also, remember how I was thinking I might actually give that first responder thing a try? Imagine me as a firefighter, that’s pretty cool right ?

So I kinda did a thing and signed up and then I got in. I started two weeks ago and it was kicking my ass at first but I've gotten a hang of it and things are going pretty well. There's three other Evans in my class so everyone calls me Buck-I kind of like it.

The other envelope, hopefully you opened this one first, is a little something for you for valentines. Hope you like it.

Peace out,

Buck’

The red envelope was on your lap, you pulled the edges carefully not wanting to rip it. Inside was a plain white card with bright red letters that made you laugh. The cover read ‘I’m not sick of you yet!” Opening the card, a $20 fell onto your lap. There was a little message inside that went along with the cash.

‘Since we aren't together and can’t spend valentines together, there’s some cash to get yourself a box of chocolates and a teddy bear. Happy Valentines Day y/n

Love, Buck.’

You smile, this was the first time that Buck had signed with ‘love, buck’ it had always been ‘peace out, buck.’ You tucked the card into the drawer, one you didn’t use very often so you knew it’d be safe there.

*4 years later*

A few weeks had passed since Buck had last heard from y/n. His last letter to her was at the end of June, telling her all about the day he had spent at Hen and Karen’s. He always described every little detail so vividly that it made her feel like she was there with him- but it was now July, end of actually and moving into August.

4 years had blown like nothing.

It felt like just yesterday he got the first letter in the mail. 4 years and they still had no idea what each other looked like but they knew every intricate and intimate detail about each other, their lives and the people in it.

Y/n and Buck had grown rather close over the last few months- more than they already were. Y/n just went through a pretty shitty break up and Buck wasn't exactly big on relationships as of right now.

He had just gotten home from work, his keys set on the counter when he realized that he forgot to check his mail. Stepping back out, there was a woman in the hallway and boxes scattered across her, leading into the apartment down the hall.

She must be his new neighbour.

He wanted to go over and introduce himself but she was busy telling the movers where to set her couch so he decided that he would check the mail and then introduce himself when he returned so he did just that.

Except, she was still busy.

She leaned against the wall, watching the movers move what looked like a coffee table. She glanced up to see Buck walking by, she smiled and he returned the smile.

Buck reaches his apartment, the mail in hand and steps in. He sorts through the pile, bills, ads, coupons and no letter from y/n.

---

Your new apartment was a mess. You decided it was time for a change. You applied to a few hospitals after your break up and the one in LA hired you. So you dropped everything and moved- no family, no ties.

A fresh start.

It was a nice neighbourhood and the building was quiet. The neighbours you met were pleasant and welcoming. When you were having the furniture moved in, there was a blonde man who smiled at you and you assumed he lived in the unit down the hall because that’s where he stepped into.

It was almost 11pm when you finally sat down. You had been on your feet all day and just wanted to eat something. The box with the dishes was beside the couch, you pulled the tape off and opened it. There was an envelope sitting on top of the stack of plates.

Buck’s last letter to you.

You must have tossed it into the boxes while packing and you forgot to write him back. Tumbling through the boxes, you find a sheet of paper and a pen from your bag. Sitting on the floor, the paper resting on an unopened box, you begin writing.

‘Dear Buck,

I’m sorry I've taken so long to get back to you. I quit my job, and uprooted my entire life. The break up sucked major ass as you know, so I decided it was time for a change.

Guess where I decided to go ?

Did you guess yet?

No, not Canada, why would you guess Canada ?

LA!

Yeah, isn't that crazy that I ended up here of all places? Maybe we could get together one day (if you haven’t turned into a crazy serial killer that is.)

Anyways, that’s why I've taken so long to write. I was packing when I got your letter and I tossed it in a box and just found it again. Anyways, I hope you’ve been good, how have things been at the station ?

I promise I'll write again with more details soon, I just have to get settled in first.

Yours always, y/n.’

Folding the paper, you slipped into an envelope. The address being scribbled into the back of the envelope. You were about to seal it when the building number caught your eye.

It was the same number as the place you moved into. The same address, the building number, the same floor.

The unit number was the only difference.

There was no way you moved into the building that Buck lived in.

You knew the address felt familiar when you saw the listing but you didn’t think anything of it nor did it occur to you that you knew the address.

Stepping out of your apartment, looking at the number on the room and back down at the envelope in your hand. Buck’s apartment was down the hall.

Part of you just wanted to mail it and keep things as it was but another part of you wanted to meet him, to see what he was really like in person. So there you were walking down the hallway at a quarter past 11 in the dead of the night to meet a man you had been sending letters to for the last 4 years.

The end of the hallway, you stared at the black wooden door in front of you. Your brain weighing the options right now: he’s a sweetheart and welcoming and makes you feel comfortable or he’s a weird guy who’s been lying to you this whole time and you told him everything about you and now he’s going to kill you.

Before you could register what you were doing, you knocked on the door.

Glancing down at yourself, you were wearing a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt from high school that you found in a drawer while packing. Not an ideal outfit, maybe he’s sleeping and you can go home and change- the door opened, a man wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt stood there. He looked like he had just woken up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“It's alright,” he yawned, his hand covering his mouth as he blinked away a few tears. “What can I do for you ?” he leaned against the door.

“Um, this is an odd question-” you shifted, glancing down at the envelope in your hand. “Are you Buck ?”

“I am, who are you ?”

“Y/n.”

You had never seen a man wake up that fast, he seemed surprised, confused and concerned all in one. “How- uh, are you- What ?” he mumbled.

“I found your letter in the box after I moved, I moved into the apartment down the hall” you point to your left, Buck sticks his head out of the doorway and looks at the door you were pointing to. You were the woman in the hallway that he saw earlier, he knew you looked familiar.

“I just wrote your letter and I noticed that the addresses were the same, just a different unit number so I decided to come check. Sorry if I bothered you, we can talk another day- it’s late and you probably have work” “Would you like to come in?” he opens the door a bit more, looking to you for an answer.

“Um, okay sure.” stepping in, you can’t help but glance around. The apartment was similar to yours, the layout was a bit different though. “Can I get you something to drink ? Coffee, water ? A beer ?” he rounded the kitchen counter, you took a seat on one of the chairs by the counter.

“Water’s fine, thanks”

He reached for a bottle from the fridge, sliding it over to you. You gave him a smile, he leaned against the counter and was now looking- studying you.

“I know we’ve talked to each other for 4 years but this is kinda strange” you chuckled awkwardly, Buck can't help but smile.

“Yeah, it is, isn't it? but can I ask why you moved to LA?”

“Well all of that was in the letter” you slide the envelope across the counter and he picks it up, opening it. Giving him a few moments to read, you watch his expression like you were hoping for some insight as to how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He let out a laugh, “how’d you know I'd guess Canada ?” you smiled at him, a small wave of relief washing over you for some reason. “Lucky guess I suppose”

“Do you-” “What are-” the sentences cutting each other off, the two of you awkwardly smiling at each other. “You first” looking at him, he hums.

“Do you have work tomorrow or are you busy ?” His eyes meet yours, you found yourself leaning forwards towards the counter- towards him. He made you feel comfortable, you’d go as far as to say safe, in a way you’ve never felt before.

“No, I don't start until the 21st. Why ?”

“I was thinking - if you're not busy and if you want to, of course. Maybe I could take you out for breakfast and I could show you around ? Or lunch or dinner ? Whatever works for you actually” he rambles, fiddling with his fingers to avoid eye contact.

A small laugh slips past your lips causing him to look up, his brows furrowed as he studies your face, looking for an answer.

“Breakfast sounds good, what time should I be ready for ?”

“Uh, is 10 okay ?” he asks, you nod. “I’ll be ready for 10 then.”

“Okay, I'll pick you up” he smiles.

“Buck, we live in the same building.”

“Oh right,” he chuckles, “well I'll be by yours at 10 then” the two of you smiling at each other.

“Okay.”

----

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 3 years

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President Joe Biden on Thursday announced a number of new steps his administration will take to try to get more Americans vaccinated and slow the spread of coronavirus, including requiring that all federal employees must attest to being vaccinated against Covid-19 or face strict protocols.

The new measures come amid a rise in Covid-19 hospitalizations and deaths in the US. The vast majority of those individuals with severe cases of Covid-19 are unvaccinated.

"This is an American tragedy. People are dying -- and will die -- who don't have to die. If you're out there unvaccinated, you don't have to die," Biden said during remarks at the White House. "Read the news. You'll see stories of unvaccinated patients in hospitals, as they're lying in bed dying from Covid-19, they're asking, 'Doc, can I get the vaccine?' The doctors have to say, 'Sorry, it's too late.'"

In his sternest approach yet to pushing Americans to get vaccinated, the President bluntly argued that if you are unvaccinated, "You present a problem to yourself, to your family and to those with whom you work."

Biden said every federal government employee and on-site contractor will be asked to attest to their vaccination status.

Employees who have not been vaccinated "will be required to wear a mask on the job no matter their geographic location, physically distance from all other employees and visitors, comply with a weekly or twice weekly screening testing requirement, and be subject to restrictions on official travel," the White House said ahead of Biden's speech.

The federal employee vaccination requirement is not a mandate, officials have insisted, and most federal employees who do not get vaccinated will not lose their jobs as a result, CNN previously reported.

But the decision nonetheless marks a pivot away from encouraging Americans to get vaccinated in their own time and stepping toward placing the onus on unvaccinated individuals.

Other efforts the administration debuted Thursday to incentivize vaccinations included expanding paid leave for employees who take time off to get themselves and their family members vaccinated. Biden said employers would be reimbursed. He also called on states, territories, and local governments to do more to incentivize vaccination, including offering $100 to Americans getting vaccinated, paid for with American Rescue Plan funding.

"I know that paying people to get vaccinated might sound unfair to folks who got vaccinated already. But here's the deal: if incentives help us beat this virus, I believe we should use them. We all benefit," Biden said.

The President also announced that he is ordering the Department of Defense "to look into how and when they will add Covid-19 to the list of vaccinations our Armed Forces must get."

"Our men and women in uniform, who protect this country from grave threats, should be protected as much as possible from getting Covid-19," he said. "I think this is particularly important because our troops serve in places throughout the world, many where vaccination rates are low and disease is prevalent," Biden added.

All military and civilian Defense Department personnel will be asked to attest to their vaccination status, the department said Thursday evening. Those unable or unwilling to do so will "be required to wear a mask, physically distance, comply with a regular testing requirement and be subject to official travel restrictions," Jamal Brown, deputy Pentagon press secretary, said in a statement.

The department is also considering adding the Covid vaccine to the list of required vaccines for military personnel.

"Secretary (of Defense Lloyd) Austin will begin consulting our medical professionals, as well as the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to determine how and when to make recommendations to the President with respect to adding the COVID-19 vaccines to the full list of requirements for military personnel," Brown said.

The President on Thursday also called on school districts nationwide to host at least one pop-up vaccination clinic over the coming weeks in an effort to get more kids 12 and older vaccinated.

Responding to reporter questions after his remarks, the President said he didn't know yet whether the federal government had the power to require vaccines. "It's still a question whether the federal government can mandate the whole country" require vaccines, he said, adding that he expects the vaccines will be fully approved by the US Food and Drug Administration by the fall.

But soon after the President's speech, White House Covid-19 Response Coordinator Jeff Zients told CNN's Wolf Blitzer the administration is not considering a nationwide Covid-19 vaccine requirement.

"That's not an authority that we're exploring at all," Zients said on "The Situation Room."

On Monday, the Justice Department determined that federal law doesn't prohibit public agencies and private businesses from requiring Covid-19 vaccines -- even if the vaccines have only emergency use authorization so far. Biden's aides had previously said they do not believe he has the power to require all Americans to get shots. But his oversight of the federal workforce, they believed, can be a powerful model to other employers considering their options on requiring vaccines.

But several groups representing federal workers across the government are already raising concerns about the requirement for their personnel, including groups representing federal law enforcement officers, IRS managers and members of the US Border Patrol, among others.

Other groups, like the International Federation of Professional and Technical Engineers, have come out in support.

The goal of the requirement, Biden aides have said, is to render being unvaccinated so burdensome that those who haven't received shots will have little choice other than to get them. It's an approach being tested by leaders in Europe, including French President Emmanuel Macron, who required either proof of vaccination or a negative test at public venues. And some states, including New York, have also said government employees must either prove they've been vaccinated or be tested weekly.

The White House had previously indicated it would support private companies' decisions to mandate Covid-19 vaccinations, but Biden took it a step further on Thursday, saying that he'd like to see companies, states and schools move in the direction of requiring Covid-19 vaccination.

Dr. Rochelle Walensky, director of the CDC, said Wednesday on CNN that health passes for the fully vaccinated, such as those used in parts of Europe, "may very well be a path forward."

But the President appeared to put that responsibility on businesses -- not the federal government -- on Thursday.

"My guess is that if we don't start to make more progress, a lot of businesses and a lot of enterprises are going to require proof (of vaccination) or you're not going to be able to participate," Biden said.

The prevalence of the highly contagious Delta variant in the US and low vaccine uptake have led to the federal government to take a number of steps to further mitigate the spread of Covid-19.

Zients told Blitzer that the FDA is certain that Americans don't need boosters right now, but it will continue to monitor the data.

"If they do decide that Americans need boosters, we are ready," he said. "We have the supply, and people will be able to get a booster shot -- if it's needed -- in a fast and efficient manner."

Earlier this week, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended everyone -- including vaccinated individuals -- wear masks indoors in areas of substantial or high Covid-19 transmission. The agency also recommended masks for all K-12 children in schools, even those who have been vaccinated.

The Department of Veterans Affairs also recently announced it would require frontline health care workers to be vaccinated over the course of the next two months.

During his remarks on Thursday, Biden acknowledged frustrations over the nation's slow bounce back and the renewal of restrictions.

"We have the right plan. We're coming back. We just have to stay ahead of this virus," Biden said. "I know this is hard to hear. I know it's frustrating. I know it's exhausting to think that we're still in this fight. And I know that we hoped this would be a simple, straightforward line without problems or new challenges. But that isn't real life. (We're) coming out of the worst public health crisis in 100 years. The worst economic crisis since the Great Depression."

The latest data from the CDC indicates that 49.4% of the total US population is fully vaccinated. And despite a previous downward slope in the pace of vaccinations, 389,963 people are now initiating vaccination each day, according to the current seven day average.

This is the highest it's been in more than three weeks, but it's still lower than the pace set by millions who were receiving shots every day earlier this year.

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