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myloveforhergoeson · 9 months

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That's All She Wrote - Chapter 19

Chapter Index

Find me on wattpad + ao3!

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

Chapter 19: No Sleep Till Brooklyn ~ 11k

Jo and Camille,

You’ll never believe who took my phone the first day of tour and refuses to give it back because “I have more important things to be focused on right now.”

I KNOW HE CHANGED MY LIFE BUT SOMETIMES I HATE GUSTAVO ROCQUE. And I’d never say I hate Kelly, but I am upset she let him do that… SOS!

Thanks to my expert negotiation skills, I’m allowed one call to my Dad per week - like this is some kind of prison or something - so I’m going to do my best to write letters to both of you in order to keep you updated.

While it took a long time for Gustavo, Kelly, and I to map out this tour path, I didn’t think about what it would mean to be crammed on a handful of buses with both the band and our musical accompaniment. Our lovely producer and talent scout get to take flights and stay in five-star hotels, but I’m okay to travel by bus. I’ve only been to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and California, so I’m excited to see the country this way. First stop - Orlando! In three days!

We booked three buses, one for the musical accompaniment (technically I’m one of them I suppose, but the boys say they hate road trips with Logan, so I just snuck onto the bus he’s on to keep him company), and two for the band. Each one has three tiny bunks, some couches, a full bathroom, most of a kitchen, and plenty of cabinet space for snacks, games, and anything we could possibly need. For now, I’m writing from the couch, sitting next to a napping Logan, and Carlos is up front making friends with the driver, Henrietta. The other bus is currently transporting Kendall and James.

Speaking of, after Gustavo told us the tour was back on after the concert when I came running to you two to tell you what had happened, James practically ran straight to 2-J to pack and hasn’t spoken to me since. I thought I had done everything right but I guess maybe he wasn’t actually into me after all. Maybe just the thrill of surviving a kidnapping?

“I lived through this so now I can kiss Roxy!”

Blegh.

Though, I suppose it might be a good thing… After thinking about it while I was packing I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now, if that’s even something he’s interested in. Sure, I like him, but I think I still need some time to get over what Dak did to me. As much as I don’t enjoy thinking about it, they bare many similarities and that scares me a bit more than I’d like to admit.

Pop stars

Can be self-absorbed

‘Cuda extra strength hairspray

Pretty

I should probably quit while I’m ahead, but I guess I’m gonna learn my lesson if I keep playing with fire and then promptly getting burned.

All my love,

Roxy

***

Hey,

It was so humid in Orlando that it took me an extra hour to fix my hair before the show, but other than that, we had a lot of fun! I’m really proud of the show we put together and getting to perform for a new crowd all the way across the country was so surreal. There are people who know all the words to my songs, more than willing to scream them right in my face… If only that pesky boy band wasn’t in the way.

Just kidding!

Today, we’re heading to Mansfield, Massachusetts - one whole day on the bus and a show tomorrow. I’d look up some facts about the town to share but, you know, no phone or whatever. Warden Rocque hasn’t changed his mind even after the combination of pleading from the five of us…

Before the show in Orlando, I got to talk with the guys in the musical accompaniment band a bit more, they were super nice! Mick, the bass player, is pretty quiet and mostly hangs out with Gustavo and Kelly since they’re old friends, but Austin, the drummer, is our age and easy to get along with! He goes to a performance arts high school in Los Angeles called Hollywood Arts (Can you believe that’s a real thing?! A whole school just for acting, singing, and growing musical talent?!)

Austin and I have somewhat similar music taste, and his father taught him how to play the drums, just like my dad taught me how to play the guitar! We’re alike in many ways, and since 1/4 of Big Time Rush wants to ignore me right now, I think I’ll be spending more time with him…

It’s bad that I thought James might kiss me again at the show last night, right? I stood in the same spot side-stage, putting on the same lipstick and everything, but he and the band just ran past me on the way to the other side of the venue. I wonder if he told them what happened; everyone else is being normal to me.

Logan says he misses you so much, Camille! Quickly followed by a panicked statement, “Not that I don’t care about Jo, it’s just different!” Kendall joined us on the bus today, swapping out with Carlos, and said, “Tell Jo I vow to get my phone back so I can call her again,” and when I asked him why he didn’t write you letters too, he claimed that stamps were too expensive. Perhaps your boyfriend is both illiterate and broke, Jo, and for that I’m sorry.

See you soon, even if soon isn’t soon enough,

Roxy

***

Thought of you both today, and it made me so happy,

We just arrived in Agawam, Massachusetts, which is only two hours away from Mansfield, so we had a quick show turnaround for the day.

I never knew going on tour was so exhausting, it’s like I’m constantly running around the venues, checking our equipment, making sure the proper snacks are in the band’s green rooms, or seeing if the stage crew needs any help. We have two big eighteen-wheelers to carry all of our stage equipment… I can’t imagine being in charge of all that stuff - the stage manager is a saint!

This morning, Gustavo dragged us out of the bus around 6 am to get to a local radio station so the band could promote their show tonight live on the air. They even gave a pair of tickets away to a fan, it was so fun to watch and reminded me a bit of my radio days. I might call my old boss and ask her if BTR can get on Project Pop when we finish our tour in Duluth.

While the band was working out with our athletic trainer to keep in shape for the show this evening, I hung out with Austin a bit more. He was nice enough to show me his drum kit and I think I’m going to ask him to teach me how to play if we have some free time. It looks a lot more fun than the piano, plus I get to hit things. Drums are a crucial part of instrumental songwriting, and I could really use the knowledge of a seasoned drummer to help me learn.

James saw us together today when he made his way to the stage to warm up for the show, and I might be overexaggerating but I think he was a bit put off by it. I thought about talking to him about it, not that I need to ask if it's okay or justify who I hang out with, but I actually think he and Austin would get along really well if he could stand to be in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes.

I think it should be illegal to kiss someone and then promptly ignore them. What if I wanted to kiss him again? And again? And again?

Anyway, I wish mail traveled fast enough that you two could send me replies and I’d be guaranteed to get them at the next venue. It feels a bit like I’m writing to a brick wall here, but it certainly keeps me occupied during our very rare downtime. The couch on this bus has become my unspoken spot (the bunks are too narrow and small for me to feel comfortable in them) and I need to do more than just sleep here, listen to my iPod, or write/play my guitar.

Until the next letter,

Rox

***

Hello!

Too many things happened today for me to record before the show, I’m writing you two a nice list as we drive away to our next stop.

James rode the bus with Logan and me today (a two-hour ride to Saratoga Springs, New York) and the two of them ignored me almost the entire time and just played their stupid video game on the TV. All I got was a “Hey, Rox, can we use the couch?” and some semblance of a thank you when I told him yes. Ugh. Is “Hey, Rox, remember when I kissed you last week? Wasn’t that so awesome? Wanna do it again?” too much for him now? It feels like I sucked all of his fun, flirty, carefree attitude straight out of his body.

I asked Austin if he could teach me how to play the drums and he said yes, as long as I helped him write a song for a fun summer project. Apparently, a good chunk of the kids at his school are songwriters too, how neat! If they write something like a short scene of a play, a song, or a musical composition and present it in the first few weeks of school, they get extra course credit. I wish the Palm Woods school had something like that - I’d be rocking straight A’s the entire year.

It was finally time for me to call my dad today, as per Warden Rocque’s direction, and he’s doing okay. Nothing ever changes with him, so I’m pretty at ease as we travel. Kelly let me put him on the guest list for the Duluth show, and even though I know he won’t really like our music, I think he’ll admire the production. He always wanted to tour around the country, and I hope showing him some backstage magic can help satisfy the teenage rocker he used to be. Maybe it’ll be a good time for him to meet Kendall, Logan, and Carlos too!

The band was recognized in public for the first time today while we were waiting in line for coffee! I’m not sure if the girl posted the photo I happily took of her and the boys to ScuttleButter, but I hope you two can find it so you can see their dazzling, shocked smiles. They were beyond ecstatic; Carlos spilled most of his drink from how hard his hands were shaking with adrenaline. Good thing he wasn’t wearing his concert outfit or Gustavo would’ve thrown a fit.

I was hoping to sneak away and take a train to New York City since we got here so early in the morning, but that is what happened instead. We’re playing Madison Square Garden near the end of the tour, so I’ll see the city then, but I’m worried I’ll be too tired and burnt out to enjoy it.

Warm wishes,

Roxy

***

Friends,

Sorry for the lack of letters these past few days! We’ve been so busy getting from New York to Oklahoma, we haven’t stopped anywhere with a mailbox I could easily find. You know what would make it easier for me to find a post office? Having my phone.

I’ve probably complained about that enough, right?

Over the course of this particular trip, I’ve been traveling with Logan and Carlos and I’m beginning to understand why the boys claim road trips with Logan are tough. He has a pretty strict expectation for cleanliness, which Carlos and I do not adhere to at all - but in helping clean up and placing things in their bunks to help put a rest to Logan’s anxiety this afternoon, I learned he has a picture of you, Camille, tapped to the top of his bunk. It’s been pretty well hidden by the curtain he keeps drawn, but I caught a glimpse of it this afternoon. So romantic!!! I imagine Kendall has something similar of you, Jo, but I’ll have to wait until he’s back in rotation with us to double-check.

I wonder if it’s exhausting for the other three to keep moving around, or if they prefer it that way. For me, I like knowing that Bus 1 is my bus… Having to haul all my stuff from one bus to another feels like an excellent way to lose some of my things.

Do you think if James and I were together he’d have a picture of me in his bunk? The thought of him falling asleep to dreams of me… Seems impossible. And exhausting to work for. If he’s going to be all hot and cold like this, I’m not sure I’d be able to take it, but on the other hand, it’s not like I’m communicating with him either because whenever I even try to bring up anything related to us at all, I freeze up and all the thoughts exit my brain before I can get a word out. Maybe we are made for each other after all since neither of us seems to want to get a word out… The pretty idiot and his idiot songwriter… Haha….

On a separate note, after the show in Tulsa tonight, the band, our bosses, and the musical accompaniment will be headed straight to the airport to catch a flight to Del Mar, California for our next show there in four days. Due to my flight aversion, I get to stay with the buses and gear and travel on the ground to meet them there. It will be interesting to see how I fare, considering I’ve been around the band 24/7 for the last two weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to work on some music distraction-free. I have a few works in progress, both about guys I really don’t want to think about, but once this tour cycle is over there’s no doubt we’re going to begin the process all over again for album 2.

Just paused writing this to pull out my journal and write “All Over Again” down on a blank page. That sounds like a wonderful song title.

Talk again soon,

Roxy

***

Guess what?

I was right about getting in some quality songwriting time. With the near silence of the bus, besides the intermittent strumming of my guitar and terrible singing of my own lyrics to the musical background track in my head, I think I’ve finally finished Til I Forget About You, even if the title isn’t all that accurate.

In fact, the title isn’t accurate in the slightest. In these last four days, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about Dak more. There’s been lots of frustrated yelling, crying, ripping and crumpling of pages of my journal on the floor… I don’t know how Taylor Swift makes writing break-up songs look so easy. She’s been who I pray to when I get stuck on a line or can’t figure out which chord I like better.

Between Gustavo’s and my affinity for pop music, when I write from the deep recesses of my heart, I find myself bringing out my rock roots. There’s nothing better than the feeling of guitar blasting from the speakers so loud you can feel it rattling around in your rib cage, filling up your ears and leaving them ringing for days on end, and that is the feeling I’ve been coasting on these few days…

It reminds me of my dad and I think that’s why it helps me feel better. Growing up on the heels of his time in the rock scene in Texas, then discovering the punk scene in Minnesota, he was always using his free time to replicate the sounds he’d hear at shows to play for me on his days off. He would tell me all the time that I was such a smiley, giggly kid, as long as his guitar was out - so the minute I was old enough to hold one in my hands he bought me one and taught me to play.

When I was finally old enough to go to shows with him, I always loved the contrast between our looks - my mainstream, bright-colored clothing straight out of TeenVogue and his old, beat-up black band t-shirts blending in with the dark ink on his forearms and even darker jeans and Doc Martins. Was a crowded basement in a random suburb miles away from our house, filled with drunk 20 to 30-somethings and a lineup of 7 different bands in one night really the safest place for a 13-year-old girl? Certainly not, but he always kept me safe and gave me a space to foster my own music taste just like he was afforded as a teenager.

Phew. That was a long-winded way of saying that I’m finally starting to find myself getting over the pain Dak caused me through my music, and I’m really lucky Big Time Rush has given me the space to explore this. Not that Til I Forget About You is an incredible, unmatched rock song - it is still very much a pop song, which I love just as much - but it is, for all intents and purposes, mine.

I miss both of you so much, and I cannot wait to see you again.

Roxy

***

Greetings,

One thing always seems to lead to another. In Del Mar, we finally had an actual, honest-to-God day of rest yesterday and the band asked if I wanted to go to the beach with them. Of course, I agreed, because it felt close to chilling by the Palm Woods pool, but once we got there I quickly learned that the trip everyone took without me brought Austin and the boys closer together. Which is fine, that’s what I wanted in the first place, but now, it feels like I’ve lost my touring buddy.

They spent the entire day surfing (where did these boys learn how to surf?), playing volleyball, and trying to pick up dates, and basically left me to my own devices to watch our stuff. I even wore my best bikini top (purple!) in hopes maybe, just maybe, it would bother James a bit, but I’m not sure he even noticed as he kept trying to play wingman for Carlos and Austin all day. I guess he decided no one on the beach was interesting enough to try and pick up.

Something I did notice, not that it matters at all, but Austin had a bit of trouble in the sun all day. Logan said that he was displaying symptoms of hypoglycemia, and he and I had to help Austin back to our stuff at one point after he nearly toppled over from how shaky his legs were. Eventually, we were able to get a few sodas in him, and he claimed to be right as rain, but it was pretty scary. I know it’s not right of me to ask him what I can do to help if he ever needed it because if he wanted me to share, he would have told me, but it was a bit hard not to take note of the small, off-white pod attached to his deep almond abdomen when he took his shirt off.

Typically, I’d just look it up in private to confirm my own thoughts, but I don’t get my phone for another few days. For now, though, or until he’s comfortable talking about it, I stopped into a corner store on the way back to our buses to grab some snacks that I think would help if his blood sugar were to drop unexpectedly again. Now I just pray nothing punctures the small juice boxes I put in a plastic bag or the hard fruit candies don’t spill out and stick to anything.

And on top of all of that, despite applying copious amounts of sunscreen, I managed to burn my legs. Goodbye shorts and skirts, hello pants I was saving for the colder climates. I tried to take a page out of Hayley Williams’ style book and go for shorts and fitted tees or crop tops as my go-to stage look - adding in jewelry, belts, tights, whatever to switch up my looks day to day, but now I guess I’ll be looking more like Gwen Stefani circa 1995 with my small shirts and big pants.

The show went off without a hitch and we’re off to Central Point, Oregon now, and hopefully once things get back to normal I can get my tour buddy back.

Rox

***

Girls!!!!

I know you’re both from the east coast, and I am obviously so Midwest, but there is just something about the crisp, Oregon air that makes me long for a different hometown. If I grew up here, beautiful Central Point, I think (in addition to being a major league hippie) I might have led a very different life. It’s strange to think about, and I’m incredibly grateful for my current life, but can you imagine if I was the owner of a quaint crystal shop on the edge of the evergreen forests of this state, or if I hand knit sweaters, tye-dying them all crazy, fun colors to sell to tourists. One pretty prominent radio station, Talk Radio Network, is based here, so maybe I’d still be Rockin’ Roxy out here too…

It’s a quiet town, however, not like Duluth or Los Angeles, and it’s pretty far from Portland. My dad always told me he wanted to visit there - apparently, they have a thriving music community in that town.

That’s all I have in the way of updates. After tonight’s show, we’re on our way back to California to the town of Turlock. Kelly, Gustavo, and I could have been a bit more coordinated when booking shows, but we were desperate enough to take whatever we could get, even if it meant extra travel time.

Extra travel time, however, means I have more time to think about the dumpster fire that is my love life as I am now trapped in a bus with James once again. Maybe he and Logan will play that stupid game again and leave me alone as I write.

Speaking of, here’s a few lines I’m working on. What do you think?

I see you walking, but all you do is pass me by,

Can’t even talk, ‘cause words don’t come into my mind,

I’d make a move if I had the guts to,

But I’m paralyzed

Best,

Roxy

***

Good morning, or evening, or whatever the appropriate time may be,

I’m so sorry I skipped out on letters these past few days, our show turnaround time has been insane, and I’ve been doing my best to keep up with my assistant-ly duties to the best of my ability - meaning I’ve had no time to myself in the last four days. Since I last wrote, we’ve been to Turlock, California, Costa Mesa, California, Kansas City, Missouri, and are presently pulling away from Harrington, Delaware.

A list of things of note for you:

In Turlock, Carlos ran over to me during the show and asked me if I wanted to sing. I said absolutely not and he ran off again. Then in Costa Mesa, he ran up to me during City is Ours and asked me to shout “There they are!” into his microphone after the “We pull up, open the door, all the girls scream-” line, while the rest of the band held theirs out to the crowd. They’re really taking this show and making it theirs, and it’s lovely to see. As I write this, Carlos just informed me I’ll be doing that every night with that big, goofy grin of his that makes it impossible for me to even think about saying no.

We did a radio show in each city, and the questions these interviewers come up with in order to be different from one another are just insane. Though, one of the hosts did ask them if they had anyone special waiting for them back home - it gave Logan a chance to stutter his way around the question (Camille… Make it official with him already!) and Kendall the opportunity to monologue about Jo for, like, five minutes. I would’ve recorded it had I had a device on hand capable of doing so (yeah I’m not done complaining). By the time he was done, the interview had nearly ended, so Carlos squeaked out “I have four special people!” and I think he meant the Jennifers and Stephanie (Is Stephanie back yet?). James (blegh!) said “Anyone willing to wait on me is special,” like the true teen idol he is. Any girl willing to wait on him… I pity her.

My drum lessons started in Kansas City after the band managed to rope Austin into a game of pickup while the buses were unloading. Who puts a basketball hoop outside of a music venue and expects anyone to get anything done? Regardless, it was a lot of fun and Austin is a pretty attentive teacher - far better than grouchy Gustavo when he was going over piano basics. There’s a lot I can learn from him! We also started writing his song, a fun, simple summer song about the beach and girls and whatnot… I’m excited to see this project through with him.

Gustavo and Kelly wrote a note on the daily itinerary sheets they give the band and I that we’re currently headed to Denver, Colorado, where we’ll have two days off from performing to do interviews, radio shows, news slots, the whole nine yards. Apparently, news outlets come to us, not the other way around, and they’re very excited to talk to America’s next top boy band. We’ll be doing a few live acoustic performances as well, meaning the guys and I, on camera, filmed for the whole world to see. Let’s hope I don’t mess up.

Miss you endlessly!

Roxy

***

Greetings from the Mile High City,

The press day, the boys claimed, was “hella exciting” and “beyond epic”... I’d describe it more like “waking nightmare” if anyone bothered to ask me. All they had to do was sit there, look pretty, answer some questions or play silly games, and sing. I, on the other hand, was lost in an endless pile of media release forms for every news outlet to approve, combing through the Gustavo pre-approved questions the interviewers were going to ask the boys, keeping their refreshments well stocked so they never ran out of water and choked on a dry throat when they went to answer questions… My work is never-ending!

Definitely one of the worst days on this tour for me, though, I wouldn’t choose it over having to go back and rewrite Til I Forget About You. Speaking of, in my previous letter I forgot to mention a particularly important line that I keep repeating to myself whenever I find my thoughts unpleasantly flickering to Dak… Or at this point, to James.

I found a place where I can lose myself,

And just leave your memory on the shelf,

See? I’m fine, no, I don’t need nobody else.

The punctuation is subject to change, but for now, I’m quite certain I don’t need anyone else in my life. I’m fine just being Roxy for a while… Even if my thoughts often turn into Roxy and James.

Not to toot my own horn, but the song is very good, and I can’t wait to record it once we get back from tour. I think that’ll be a good point to mark my “getting over it” progress.

Something I forgot to mention about these interviews, that I now realize as we pull away from the Denver venue and off to Eureka, Missouri, is I’m actually learning so much about the band by sitting and listening in. They almost never talk about their lives before Hollywood, because the four of them have (as I learned today) known each other since they were four years old. From first meeting at a Pee-Wee hockey league game all the way to playing varsity hockey at MAHS, they’ve been with each other almost their entire lives. Most of the interviewers ask really good, clear questions, that lead the boys down a path that gets them talking and reminiscing on themselves - something they rarely speak about when the others are around. Today (among other things) I also learned Carlos is fluent in Spanish, Logan was really into ventriloquy in middle school, Kendall is allergic to kiwi, and James is the heir to the Brooke Diamond Cosmetics company.

I should have put two and two together on the last one, he’s insanely beautiful and the last name “Diamond” isn’t exactly very common, but remembering what he’s told me about his mom and now knowing she’s Brooke Diamond?? The Este Lauder of the Midwest?? accounts for a lot of his behavior.

A few years ago, there was a big scandal that hit the front page of all the Duluth papers, news stations, radio waves, etc., claiming that BDC’s top model, and Brooke’s husband, Blake Diamond, was caught having an affair with a woman half his wife’s age. On top of that being insanely disgusting, it was in the news for weeks, announcing the Diamond divorce, explaining the court hearings and who got what, all leading up to Blake and his girlfriend eloping to Vegas and getting married the minute he and Brooke were officially split.

What does that do to a budding teenager? Chew them up and spit them out a completely new person. No wonder James never talks about his parents, or his home(s). The only time I learned something about his family was after the dance when he told me his mom made him break up with his boyfriend and when we were back in Minnesota he vaguely told me his parents were separated.

God, I cannot imagine what that must have/still feels like for him. Knowing that he had Kendall, Logan, and Carlos to help him through it makes me feel better, though.

I think, among other reasons, that might have been why he helped get us back to Hollywood a few days before the big concert. Either returning home to his successful mother as a failure or returning home to stay with a cheater and his new wife…

Phew. That was a long one. Every time I send one of these I can feel the two of you mentally cursing me for my wishy-washy gushy James feelings - trust me, it’s just as exhausting for me to think I’m fine alone one day, then want him so badly the next. Please bear with me while I figure this all out.

Wish you were here,

Roxy

***

Eureka!

Somewhere in the middle of Kansas, Kendall woke me up from my lazy couch nap to tell me he wants to learn how to play the guitar.

“That’s great,” I said. “I’d love to teach you, but all my guitars are strung left-handed.”

Bless his heart, he cocked his head and asked, “Why does that matter?”

“Well. I’m left-handed. You’re not. It’s a completely different learning process.”

“Do you know how many hockey players play left-handed, even though they’re right-hand dominant?”

Of course, I don’t. But, in the small second I had to think about it, I realized that there are plenty of famous guitar players that do that too… kind of. Many left-handed guitar players just learn right-handed because left-hand guitar equipment isn’t produced near as much or to the same quality and standards as right-handed equipment!

Thankfully, my dad is left-handed too, so he knew where to get the proper things in order for me to play when I was little, but it was I who took it upon myself to learn how to restring a guitar to fit my own needs. When I was 12, there was this beautiful oak wood acoustic in the local music shop, but it was strung right-handed. The owner didn’t know how to restring it (claiming no one had ever asked him to before, but I just think he was lazy), so I convinced my dad to buy it, a pack of new strings, and a tool kit, and I took it apart, then put everything back everything completely opposite - worked like a charm, until I sold it a few years later to get my electric acoustic.

In all, I’m excited to teach Kendall but I’ll have to find the time in between my assistant duties and my own drum lessons. The request was a bit out of the blue, however, and I wanted to ask him why, but he was too busy buzzing to Logan about it after I told him yes. Maybe he’s trying to learn a skill that will set him apart from the other band members.

After tonight’s show, we’ve got another one tomorrow before another press day, then a stretch of three more shows back to back. It’ll be tiring, but at least we’re having fun. Playing shows is rewarding beyond measure, and hard for me to put into words, but the connection the band has to their audience is unmatched. The way they can make thousands of people get up and dance, sing, let loose… It’s a beautiful sight - one I’m so lucky to be able to witness almost every night.

Maybe you can find some clips on SnoobTube,

Roxy

***

Girls, I’m running out of clever greetings,

I AM SO TIRED.

Columbus, Ohio, along with being a boring city in the world, also happened to be the same place our press day was taking place - meaning we were there for two days too long. Then, we had our three-day tour stint.

On day one, one of our eighteen-wheelers containing half of the stage set up was late. So, guess who, on top of making sure the boys were situated in their green rooms and had everything they requested, had to assist with tech setup I knew nothing about, got to run the soundcheck almost completely alone, and explain to Gustavo the boys had to go on a few minutes later than anticipated :)

On day two, I learned more about the boys. Maybe I’m being dumb and petty, but I think it’s a bit strange that much of my knowledge of them is now coming from these interviews - they’re sharing important things, that I think as their friend I should have the right to have known about beforehand. They know I’ve been struggling to get good at the piano for months now and guess who I learned has been playing all his life? James. Would it have killed him to maybe offer a helping hand? In addition, I found out Logan’s favorite food is toast. Just… plain toasted bread and butter… Kendall’s dream pet, apparently, is a goat because he misses the one we rented at the School of Rocque so much and Carlos doesn’t think Antarctica is real. I wish I could’ve stopped him before he said that during a live interview, but you win some, and you lose some. I was too busy handling all the paperwork and helping the next news outlet set up to get the interviews done as quickly as possible to get in his way.

On day three, we made it to Clearfield, Pennsylvania, a cute town that runs along a beautiful river I discovered on a walk in the morning. Sometimes being cooped up in a bus all night gets old, so when the boys work out in the morning, I wander as far as I think I can before Gustavo and Kelly realize I’m missing. The show that night was great, but Kendall ripped his pants jumping off one of my amps, and everyone in the first few rows got to see his underwear. I’m not sure he’ll be living that one down for a while.

On day four, we rolled into West Allis, Wisconsin around 6 am, where we were promptly escorted off the bus and into a local radio station, who called Gustavo the previous evening and practically begged for a Big Time Rush live acoustic performance. So, Mick and Austin got to sleep in, while I grabbed my acoustic guitar and drowsily followed the boys into the studio, languishing in the familiar smell of Lake Michigan - So close to Lake Superior back in Duluth! We performed three songs, Big Time Rush, Stuck (of course…), and Any Kind of Guy acoustic. Honestly, my stage skills are getting better with each performance, and I think it’s because the guys make me feel so relaxed when we play together. Whenever I performed with Brand New Day, I was always trying too hard to impress Dani, and more importantly, Mag, so playing always took a ton of effort. But with Big Time Rush, I feel so at ease, and I’m able to let loose and have fun. The only thing that caught me off guard today was James derailing the interview before Stuck to dedicate it to “Any girl who feels like they’re invisible… Don’t worry, I see you.”

Dedicating a song you didn’t even write to a person it’s not even about? Barf. Those words keep rattling around in my brain and I wish I could kick them straight out, but I’ve been dwelling on them for days.

On day five, we took a ferry (!!) to Midland, Michigan, while our eighteen-wheelers had to take the long way around, through Illinois and Indiana. Since our stage equipment didn’t arrive until the later part of the day, I pulled out two of my guitars stored away in Bus 1 in order to give Kendall his first lesson at the venue. Since Carlos bunked with Logan and me the night before, the boys decided to switch buses for a few hours, which meant I had to deal with an insane amount of James' side eye as he went about making his breakfast in the small kitchen.

If he’s got a problem with me hanging around my friends, he’s no better than Dak and I’m certainly not going through that again. He kisses me a few times and now thinks he has some weird possessive thing over me? Absolutely not. I’m just so done with him, I don’t understand how just a month and a half ago we shared a journey that literally altered the course of our lives, and now, here he is, acting as though it meant nothing to him.

Maybe I need to get out of the celebrity dating pool - if this tour has taught me anything it certainly is the fact that all my friends are famous and I am not.

Yeah. What a downer of a letter this turned into,

Roxy

***

Send lots of caffeine and my giant stuffy puppy to Fairlea, West Virginia, please!

I’m too exhausted to write out a better greeting, so this letter begins with the truth. There were many times over the last three days I sat down to write this, but every day I ended up falling asleep in the middle. Last night, Logan had to physically remove the pen from my hand while I slept as I was apparently in danger of poking my eye out.

In three days we’ve been to Hamburg, New York, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Peru, Illinois. Another day without seeing the Big Apple, another day in a big city that makes me miss Los Angeles, and another day in a city where if the name and state weren’t written down on our call sheets I might be so tiredly deluded I think we’re in a different country.

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James are natural-born performers. I, on the other hand, am starting to believe that I may not be cut from a similar cloth. Something inside of them keeps them on the go, go, go, and I would love to know just what it is that makes them tick. The only thing keeping me motivated right now is getting to hear the crowd sing along to my songs every single night. It sounds a bit cheesy to write out, but it’s true! To know all of our hard work writing, recording, and rehearsing, is paying off and reaching corners of the U.S. we didn’t even know existed! And that people are buying our album… So I’ll have a nice cushion of a retirement plan when I’m older…

That, and my lessons of course! Austin has been so cool about helping me learn the drums, and I think I’m getting pretty good even though I’ve only had a few moments of practice. That, and we even had enough time to work on our song more, which is surprisingly almost complete… That boy can write! My goal is to write a drum section for one of my songs all by myself. Normally, Gustavo is able to take my lyrics and guitar melodies and write in drums, bass, piano, or whatever else we think is necessary to execute our grand vision, so for once, I’d like to fill in a new instrument and save him some time which would probably also equate to saving him some time yelling at our other band members.

Guitar lessons with Kendall have been going well too, though I’m not sure he’s very fond of me as a teacher. I’ve struggled to put together little exercises for him to practice because I barely remember learning guitar myself. Maybe I can talk to my dad about it on our next call.

Oh! And Carlos and I invented a game today!

We call it Honk Bonk, and you play it exactly how it sounds. Any time a car in traffic honks, you bonk the closest person on the head with something near you. My weapon of choice, of course, is my journal, and the boys are already used to bonking from that, though someone did honk during Kendall’s lesson today… I was tempted but alas, he needs to stay pretty so he can date my best friend. And sell more albums.

I hope you’re both well, I can’t wait to get back home to see you,

Roxy

***

Panicking! I spent all of today panicking!

This morning, Logan and Kendall shook me awake around 3 am to tell me that it was James’ birthday. TODAY.

I had a few thoughts on this. 1. Why didn’t any of the band mention this until we were three hours into the day? 2. Where the hell am I supposed to get party supplies on a moving bus rolling into Fairlea, West Virginia? 3. How am I going to survive an entire day centered around the guy I’m doing my very best not to think about? 4. Is James mature enough to be the first of us to turn seventeen?

Thank God James was on the other bus because if he had heard the ideas Logan, Kendall, and I had in order to surprise James the minute we stopped at the next venue…

Here was what we came up with:

If you cut up little pieces of colored paper, it kinda looks like confetti. The colored paper in question? Three of the front and back covers of books Logan had brought and finished in the first part of the tour. Kendall had to physically restrain him as I did this.

I’m a songwriter - when in a pinch, write a song. The three of us quickly devised a little spin on the traditional happy birthday song to surprise James with on stage later that blends into the traditional song everyone knows. Hopefully, an entire stadium of people singing to him is a good enough gift.

We can take old tour itineraries from the previous towns, a Sharpie, and some of the bungee chords holding our equipment down during travel to make a HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES banner.

The bus was stocked with enough items to make Oreo Fluff salad, thanks to the miracle that is pudding cups, but not a real cake… He seemed to enjoy it when he came to tell me we were going back to L.A. after a few hours in Duluth. I don’t have any green food coloring, however, so it was boring black and white.

A sub point - around 6 am I begged the bus driver, Henrietta, to let me use her phone and call a Fairlea local bakery and express order a cake to bring out on stage. I also managed to call the venue and ask them to pick up some cupcakes to be waiting in the green room when we arrived and put up any party supplies they had on hand.

It was exhausting, like most things on this tour I guess, but once we rolled into town everything had been squared away, our efforts were well worth it.

Did you know that when James smiles, like really smiles, he has the most adorable dimples that carve right into his cheeks?

A smile that makes me breathless. A smile that remained on his face all day as we surprised him with our homemade banner, confetti, and treats. A smile plastered on his face the entire show, especially when we surprised him with our song, cake, and the entire crowd sang him happy birthday.

When the show ended, the band freshened up and went to meet some fans out by the front of the venue, and I had to run back into the bus and record my journal entry and write this letter, as I currently am before they came back.

My journal entry contained the word “James” like 40 times.

GOD! He ignores me almost all of the tour, speaking to me only about the essentials or whatever's going on around us on our days off, I finally decide he isn’t into me and I should just chill out for a bit, and now I’m suddenly all about him again. Maybe it’s just because I’m around him literally every day… Maybe it’s because I felt a hint of (healthy! Definitely healthy!) jealousy when he looked at everyone singing to him on stage and in the crowd except for me… Ugh.

We’re on for another multi-day stretch of shows, so please forgive me for fewer letters as the days go on,

Roxy

***

Look I know I said I’d be sending fewer letters but I NEED to tell you guys this.

After arriving in Farmingville, New York, around 9ish in the morning, I was abruptly awoken to the sound of Gustavo yelling at the band about who knows what. Apparently, this pissed them off so much they came storming onto my bus, told me to get ready as fast as I could, and thirty minutes later we were sneaking out of the venue and into a taxi that drove us right into the heart of Manhattan.

We messed around the city for the ENTIRE DAY and Gustavo had no way of finding us since he had our phones. Finally, we got to be the tourists instead of the attraction, before getting back to the venue before the show started.

Once the taxi dropped us off right outside of Time Square, Logan had the brilliant idea for each of us to pick one thing we wanted to do, and do our best to complete them before the end of the day. The list is as follows:

Kendall wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building

Logan wanted to visit the Morgan Library

Carlos wanted to see Spider-Man

James (after loudly complaining we couldn’t see something on Broadway) wanted to take a sightseeing cruise around the bay to see the Statue of Liberty

I wanted to see the musical instrument display at the MET and I convinced everyone to join me for a lunch picnic in Central Park.

Today was literally perfect, though I did feel a bit bad about leaving Austin and Mick back at the venue to run the soundcheck without me.

Besides admiring the thousands of advertisements roving around the Square, the first thing we did was hit the Morgan Library. The architecture was just breathtaking and it was amazing to see the carefully curated collection of historical documents. They even had musical manuscripts and printed forms of music from nearly one hundred years ago… I wonder how a boy band in 1909 would look… Or if my journals will be on display in 2109… Scary!

Not as scary as the top of the Empire State Building, though!

It was so cold and windy up there, even in the middle of the summer. I practically had to cling to Carlos’ arm to feel even a little bit stable, but of course, he wanted to get right up to the very edge of the building and look straight down. Kendall and Logan wanted to join him (one to spit off the edge and the other to try and calculate how far away the second tallest building in NY was) so I got passed off to James. Would it have killed him to put his arm around me and tell me it would be alright? Jesus. He just stood there, silently looking off into the distance while I clutched at his arm. Message received: He isn’t into me.

The rest of the day was fun and I wanted to write more but now I’m a bit sad after writing that. All I really want to do is go to bed now; I’ll tell you about it when we meet again, I guess.

Roxy

***

Daddy,

Tour is hard. So hard. And I feel so stupid for thinking that I was cut out for this kind of thing. Songwriters are for the studio, not the stage. I’ve spent so much time around the guys I’m starting to go crazy. You and I always talked about traveling if we had the money, and let me tell you one day per city is hardly enough to even say that I’ve been here. It’s not cross-country exploration if I haven’t explored five minutes past the closest coffee shop because I can barely keep my eyes open without caffeine.

I’m constantly tired. My back hurts from sleeping on the couch. My fingers are so sore. My eyes are dry from the incessant spotlight lighting us up for thousands of people every night. The next person to ask me for something might get their head bitten off if they don’t say “please?”

Just because I’m an assistant doesn’t mean I get to be walked all over.

The applause is nice though, hearing everyone sing along to my songs even in parts of the country I’ve never even heard of… Maybe that’s enough to get me to Duluth.

I can’t wait to see you. Sorry for the depressing letter, I’m having a hard time being away from both of my homes.

Promise you’ll listen to the setlist before you see us?

I hope I’m making you proud,

Roxanne

***

Hi.

The shows in Lima, Ohio, and Falcon Heights, Minnesota were great. Our friends are just so talented. It was hard being so close to Duluth, and I invited my dad to the show last minute, but he wasn’t able to make it.

We’re driving to Essex, Vermont now - 13 hours into a 20-hour journey.

The weather out here has been awful, it’s been thunder storming nonstop, so we haven’t been making as many stops as we usually have. Just my luck I’m stuck with Logan and James, and I’ve been writing a song all day.

It’s a song for James’ invisible girls… More accurately, a song full of words I wish he would say to me.

Am I out of mind, or just invisible?

Anyway. It’s been extra hard to write because the two of them were sitting less than three feet away from me the entire time. They’re both so nosey, consciously or not and kept looking over at me. I could tell they wanted to ask me about it, but at least they were respectful enough not to.

It’s got a really beautiful guitar melody, but I’d love to get my hands on my keyboard back home because I have a cool idea for a backing track… Never thought I’d be excited to play the piano but here I am, itching to play it thousands of miles from home.

We play Boston, Massachusetts in a few days, and the boys kept talking about wanting to hit up a pizza place in the city that they visited during one of their hockey tournaments a few years ago. At this point, I’m just trying to get through the next 7 hours. That’s when we get to the next venue, though we have to take a day off from the show tomorrow. Not only is it Carlos’ birthday, but it’s the day of Hawk and Rebecca’s trial. Sweet, sweet seventeen spent reminiscing one of the worst moments of our entire lives. Whoo whoo.

In other depressing news, after coming to the realization that I like James, but he doesn’t like me, it’s been extra hard to be around him. Mostly I just hang out with Austin and beat out my frustration on his drum kit… The last 13 hours have been like hell. Every time James smiles, it makes me want to. His laugh rings in my ears, sending a jolt straight through my heart. Whenever he gets up to walk by me, it takes everything in me not to stare as he moves about the bus.

It’s exhausting… Having a crush on someone is supposed to be fun. I’m supposed to feel like I’m walking on air, and glow, and sparkle, and shine. Instead, I feel like shit.

Truly, I guess I don’t really know him like I thought I did. What happened to the always flirty, unserious, loverboy who took me on a date our first month in Los Angeles?

I think I blew my chance with him once I met Dak, and I think I hate myself for it.

Exhausted and missing home,

Roxy

***

Happy birthday, happy trial day,

I hope you’ll be pleased to know that Hawk and Rebecca will be going away for a long time. We tried to celebrate Carlos’ birthday with cupcakes at the venue, but no one had an appetite after our Skype trial. To try and lighten the mood, I played a few songs he showed me at the beginning of the tour on my guitar, but I could tell as he absently sang along it wasn’t really helping.

Though, in other news that I shouldn’t be happy about, James spoke to me today unprompted and asked if I was okay after my testimony. Apparently, I was speaking quite shakily… Which, yeah. I was fucking kidnapped and asked to recount it in front of a room full of people I don’t know, of course, I was shaky. But at least he was thinking about me.

Maybe he needs signs or cues or reasons to act or something… Weirdo.

Anyway, we’ll bring a cake out for Carlos during the show tomorrow and have the crowd sing for him. Hopefully, he’s in better spirits tomorrow.

This was a weird letter, I know. Life’s weird recently, but thanks for reading. Miss you two.

Roxy.

***

Carlos fucking Garcia has been reading my mail. I’m convinced of it! Because tonight, when the band did the little introduction of their musical accompaniment, Carlos introduced me, walked right up to me, planted to sweetest, wettest, loudest kiss onto my cheek, and told me he loved me in front of the whole crowd.

When I told him I loved him back, we got some “awwws” (mostly “boooos” that I’m choosing to ignore) and continued the show.

Then.

When the show ended.

James grabbed my hand, dragged me off towards the back door of the venue, onto some side street alley where we couldn’t hear the crowds of people leaving the show anymore, and asked me if I wanted to make out.

A reason to act! Carlos telling thousands of people he loved me was a reason to act!

So.

We made out in a dirty, smelly alley and I think it was the best night of my entire life… Besides the five seconds I’m pretty sure a rat touched my foot.

There is hope yet,

Roxy

P.S.

When I got back to the bus I was buzzing so bad I told Logan everything. That I liked James, that we kissed, that we kissed some more, that I think about him all the time, that I’ve written one and a half songs about him already.

I’m in so deep at this point… And all Logan did was grin at me - stupid, dumb grin - and say “Finally,” before heading off to his bunk to sleep.

Camille, I hate your almost-boyfriend and I’m drawing all over his face in Sharpie tonight.

***

Oops,

Not to leave you two on a cliffhanger but the last month of tour has been so insane I haven’t even had a minute to myself to write (letters or otherwise), think, or even just take a breather in a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere.

The rockstar lifestyle is hard to get used to… Hopefully, we budget more off days for future tours or I might go crazy.

To answer the question I know is on your minds: No. Nothing else happened with me and James, though he does actually sit down and talk to me now (even if it’s mostly work-related, I’ll take it). We toured all throughout most of the other states in the country, I’d write them all here but I lost track after Boston if I’m being honest. Though I do know that at one point we were in Phoenix, Arizona and Kendall accidentally said “Hello, Las Vegas!” to the entire stadium.

MSG was insane. Best venue I’ve ever been to, the best crowd we’ve ever had, and the second-best night of my life.

As I write to you now, we’re about to play our last show in Duluth, Minnesota, before our three-day journey home. I’ve got a bunch of silly string to prank the boys with on stage during their solo sets… They won’t even know what hit them!

My dad finally got to meet the guys, though I’m not sure he liked any of them but he was kind enough - but what father would like the four boys his daughter is best friends with? I have no idea why he keeps calling James “Jay” but whatever. After the show ended I snuck him out of the venue and showed him our buses, and trucks for stage set up, and let him meet Mick and Austin as well - Austin even performed his song for my dad… His first audience member!

Safe to say, he loved Austin’s number, but how he felt about everything else, he didn’t share on his face like normal. I like to think I’m pretty good at deciphering how my father feels at this point in my life, but he kept his expressions at bay as we walked around everything we had waiting for us outside. I hope it didn’t put him off or something, considering I know that being a musician was his dream, too. What he did say was: “You shared this bus with two boys?” and “Which guitars are you using, Honey Bun? You deserve only the best.”

Dads.

I also got to meet Logan and Carlos’ families! (Minus James’... I felt really bad for him that his parents weren’t there…) Logan’s moms were so sweet - overly doting on him, fixing up his outfit, practically smothering him with health facts and tips. I think one of his moms is a realtor, while the other is a doctor, which would explain Logan’s want to be a doctor himself. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a pediatrician. She gave off the vibe she’d be amazing with kids. It must have been so wonderful to grow up in that household :)

Since I’d already met Carlos’ dad, Mr. Garcia was kind enough to introduce me to his wife and three daughters. Genetics work in mysterious ways, blessing each of the Garcia children with the same dark hair and alluring eyes. It was hard to tell sisters Maria, Lupe, and Alena apart, but after talking to them a bit I was able to find some differences. They all followed me on ScuttleButter, so maybe we’ll talk more in the future. I loved getting to know them! Mrs. Garcia and her son also share a lot of the same mannerisms - they’re both curious, caring, and just a bit ADHD. The two of them spent most of their time together with the girls, pointing out different things about the venue, sharing stories from their time away from each other, and the coolest part was their switching back and forth from English to Spanish depending on if they wanted their conversations to be overheard or not.

At one point I think they were talking about me (and James) but I can’t be sure. Maybe if I’d taken Spanish in school instead of French my freshman year…

I wish Mrs. Knight had been there, but Kendall and James kept themselves occupied by talking sports with my dad. For a bit, Dad and Kendall talked about guitars after mentioning that I was teaching him how to play, leaving James out of the loop, so I went over and struck up a conversation with him.

Normal. That’s what we are - or more accurately what our relationship is - though, I think he looks at me a bit differently now. There’s no evidence to that last statement, I just feel his eyes on me sometimes and it makes my chest flutter. I much prefer being friends (who made out) that are able to be around each other, than whatever his weird, “ignore Roxy” game was.

The show’s in 10, so we need to start walking to the stage!

I loved writing to you two, but I can’t wait to get back to talking face-to-face. I’m in dire need of a girl’s night.

See you soon (for real this time),

Roxy <3

A little change of pace before season two! Thanks for reading :) Support for this story has been overwhelming!

Since school is starting back up, I'm going to be switching back to posting every two weeks instead of every week. <3

Season two starts September 5th, but I'll do my best to post little one-shots and such on my tumblr, so check over there every once and a while :)

#thats all she wrote fic #big time rush #btr #james diamond #james maslow #kendall knight #kendall schmidt #logan mitchell #logan henderson #carlos garcia #carlos penavega

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100dayproductivity · 1 year

Text

Day 11/100 continued.

I was having trouble unscrewing the bottom nut. It was really stuck tight! Turns out I was trying to turn it the wrong way 🤦🏻‍♀️. It goes in the opposite direction from the nut at the top of the short pipe, to the right (counter-clockwise if you're viewing it from above).

Here's the loosened nut and the whole drain assembly removed.

Keep that black nut though! It belongs to the black pipe and you'll need it to attach the new assembly.

Now, I wanted to make sure everything's clean and not crusty before I assemble everything, so I sprayed some cleaner around the drain hole and on the black nut and the white insert thing, washed them, then sprayed with vinegar to remove mineral deposits. I let the vinegar sit for a bit and did something else in the meantime.

While I was doing something else I started thinking about the drain pipes. Wouldn't they be crusty and gunky too? Wouldn't now be a good time to clean them too since I've already got the drain removed?

I did a bit of research. Turns out the gunk I cleaned out of the dishwasher filter the other day is a common occurrence in kitchen and bathroom pipes and is a disgusting cocktail of grease & oil, hair & dead skin, toothpaste & saliva, and whatever other disgusting things go down the drain, all being feasted on by bacteria that thrives in water. 🤢 Apparently it's a good idea to regularly maintain the cleanliness of pipes so you don't end up with bigger and more expensive plumbing problems down the road.

So... yeah. I removed the pipe. The whole thing is called a P-trap. The small curved piece at the bottom is called a J-pipe. You're supposed to be able to just unscrew that if you ever need to get in there, for example, if it gets clogged up or if you drop something like your diamond engagement ring down the drain. However, my J-trap piece appears to have been glued to the other pipe pieces, including the hose to the dishwasher. I was hoping I could take the pipe pieces to the laundry room utility sink to wash out but that wasn't possible. I had to clean them in place.

Note that I covered the pipe piece that's sticking out of the wall with a plastic bag and rubber bands. A few sources I read recommended stuffing a rag or something in there so you don't get sewer fumes coming into your house.

I cleaned out the pipes using various methods:

First I liberally sprayed a degreasing cleaner into the pipes and let it sit for a while.

Then I used a wire coat hanger fashioned into a long skinny instrument with a hook to push out solid sludge matter 🤢

I sprinkled some baking soda into the pipe and pushed a balled up paper napkin through it with the coat hanger.

I poured hot water into the pipe and sort of swished it back and forth before draining it out. Omg, it was as though the pipe were vomiting 💩. It was diiisgguuustinggg 🤮.

I had to do that a couple of times. (I had a plastic tub catching all this 💩 and flushed it all down the toilet.)

After all that I had a look inside the pipes with a flashlight. They were sooo cleeean! 😊✌️

Putting it all back together was a bit troublesome. I had a heckuva time getting the black nut attaching the tailpiece (short pipe) to the P-trap back on. I might've been mixing up which way to turn it again.

It also leaked quite a bit at first until I managed to tighten everything enough. I think there is still some leaking but I'll have to test it out again tomorrow. I think it's leaking at the seams of the P-trap where the pieces were glued together. I may have to seal the seams with something.

But for now I have a functional kitchen sink again. Yay!

#100 days of productivity #home maintenance #home repair #house repair #kitchen #leaky sink #plumbing #cleaning

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televisionboy · 3 years

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this gif is everything skdjdjfn and this is my first alphabet! so give me love and constructive criticism.

taglist: @punkgeekchic @visionsofsweettea @adoresobs @am4sawa @reblogsfandom @evarolines @somethingstuffy

Timothee Chalamet Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dates with Timothee are very very comforting and new at the same time. He LOVES getting out of the house and going to a city where shops are lining every corner and small cafes with coffee to die for. But he also loves to cook you dinner and rehash your days. He’s quite a domestic person.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Timothee finds all of you attractive. But his favorite thing to do is whenever you’re reading a book or the two of you are watching TV, and you’re at one end of the couch and he’s at the other end, he loves to run his hands up and down your legs while they rest in his lap. Drumming his fingers against your knees is like a calming thing

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He doesn’t talk, at all. He’s an incredibly patient boyfriend who will sit there with you and sync your breathing while hugging you. He will listen for hours and hours to you talk about it. And if not, he makes tea for you and offers cuddles and comfortable silences. I mean, either way he always makes tea.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He would love a family with you, he knows you’d be an incredible parent to his children. But he’s content being young, having new experiences and getting to be spontaneous. If he had to think about it, he’d like one or two children and maybe a dog. Living in a cozy but spacious home, of course there’s a pool in the back.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

well, when he’s in the mood, jealous/mad he definitely will be dominant (and especially in bed) but he’s in no way so dominant that you will feel like his maid or a child. But he really doesn’t want to consider your relationship to be that way. Both of you are just you and treat each other equally.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He gets cold when he’s fighting with you. Timothee’s a bit like a younger sibling while fighting, he knows how to push your buttons and won’t stop until he see’s a reaction. But he has that guilty feeling wash over him so fast. He’s very very easy to forgive you because how could he say no to someone like you??

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

SO GRATEFUL. He spoils like no other. If you point out that you like a pair of earrings, they’re yours (it doesn’t matter that they’re pure diamonds) you mentioned that you want to see Italy? Tickets booked. And a great thing about him, on top of being a good listener is that he has a great eye. And he picks up on things and is quick to notice them. Which is a big reason he’s so successful in acting. Even if it’s something as simple as washing the dishes so he can relax, to something as kind as making him your very own fan gift.. he melts every time.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mmm, he certainly tries not to but everyone keeps secrets. There are things that both of you prefer to keep private but he wouldn’t keep something like him kissing another woman a secret.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’ve inspired him and fueled him to become a stronger actor even if you’re not one yourself. Some of your advice is seriously helpful, and some are unhelpful but hilarious. No matter what you will tell him, he knows you’re waiting at home or even at his set with open arms, waiting for him to win an award and fangirl online to other Timmy fans. It makes him blush and cause a billion butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He trusts you 100% that you would never leave him, and he doesn’t want to be one of those boyfriends who restricts their partner. But there’s a part of him that’s incredibly insecure and is convinced you can do better. There are some parts that WANT you to leave him and do better. He would never ever show it in public, but you can read him well. You’ll put a hand on his bouncing knee and kiss his jaw.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He knows he’s a damn good kisser as well as charmer. You had been on a couple of dates with him, on one you mentioned that it was on your bucket list to be kissed in the rain. He made sure to schedule a date when there would be rain and he took you on a picnic. Towards the end, it had started to pour and you were trying to run back to the car but he grabbed your face and kissed you so hard but so passionately. His curls were dripping and the sandwiches were ruined but the feeling was incredible.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Rightttt after that kiss, in the car you were drying off and laughing with him while the radio was on in the background. The car was on but he wasn’t driving. Instead, he turned to you and told you he was in love with you. Both of you had said “love you” but never “i’m in love with you”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’s on the fence about babies but he knows for certain that he wants to marry you. You know that scene in The Office where Jim shows the engagement ring for Pam and is like “I got it 3 weeks into dating”? That’s Timmy.

He brings you to a premire of one of his movies and at the end when all the credit’s are rolling, it says “y/n will you marry me?” and when you turn back around, Timmy is on one knee and Armie is most likely behind him crying his eyes out.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Babe” “Baby” “Mon cherie” When you two are married, he’ll join you in the kitchen while cooking dinner and call you “Mrs Chalamet” before kissing your shoulder and beginning to chop veggies. It’s just incredibly domestic

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

so so so obvious and so in love. He shows you off as much as possible and talks about you on talk shows until he’s sure that the audience is annoyed and SNL mocks him (and even then, he’ll continue)

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

he brags but he does know when to dial it back for your own privacy and humility. BUT that doesn’t mean he won’t hold your hand in public, or banter with you on a twitter thread even if you both are right next to each other on the couch playing footsie

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He has a great eye and is quick to pick up on things. It’s almost as if he has certain senses and can tell when you’re having a bad day or upset. He just knows. It’s incredible. He’ll run you a bath and order cake to indulge yourself in before you even get home.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

The most sickley, fluffy, romantic, boyfriend that it makes me sick. Timothee would dye his hair rainbow and cut of his toes if it meant you would smile. On a more romantic note, he pulls out all the stops but it’s a bit more subtle?? Like he is very romantic but it’s not overwhelming. There’s no string quartet and private dining room but there will be jazz and dancing at midnight or a homemade “restaurant” with Timothee as a one man (messy) staff but it’s the best thing you could have ever come home to

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s your head cheerleader and the most selfless human ever. Will cheer for you until his voice goes mute and even then, he’s the one clapping the loudest and crying the most.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

both! Timothee is like a dog in some ways. He’s energetic and needs new things, to be outside, to be social. But he craves hugs and cuddling, he adores late night talks with you or watching you make him breakfast while he scrolls through Instagram. Like I said, a very domestic guy.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He know’s you like the back of his hand and he could spot you with his eyes closed and only by feeling your face. He knows your habits, and the food you hate, your terrible cooking skills, and the kind of dad jokes you tell, the anxiety ticks, and what shows you’ll watch over and over again.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He’d go insane without you. You’re addictive because you have a pure heart and a dirty mind and he falls in love the more you show that. He brings you back the weirdest things that remind him of you. Stationary cards with odd quotes, an antique necklace from the 40′s, peach earrings (because he enables your teasing)

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He’s like the real version of “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” but a little more loving lol “I love you, but I’m willing to defend my fries”

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I said that he’s like a puppy! he needs kisses and scratches to his head (free scalp massage) and he’s a clingy puppy too. i mean, look at his eyes for the love of god.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he aches so bad. He is your cheerleader but he can’t function without you. You’re his cup of coffee, an antidepressant. He’s fangirling inside for your new project but when he sees your mug or reaches to bring you close to his chest and you’re not there, he’s unable to fall asleep or make a cup of coffee.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’d travel to Mars and back if you asked him to. Just ask him, and he does it. One time, he was working on a movie with an actress who was quite snippy to you and he quit immediately, feeling incredibly guilty and nauseous. He got you very expensive lox and bagels one morning because you were whining about it the previous night. He doesn’t want to close his eyes at night because there’s so many things he wants to do before he goes on to the next day. But when he closes his eyes at night, it’s all you, you, you, you, you and how much he’s overwhelmed with total adoration for you

#timothee chalamet imagine #timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x you #timothee chalamet icons #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet smut #fluff #fluff alphabet #x reader #x you

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theanonymouswriterb · 3 years

Text

Dusk til’ Dawn

Prologue: The Queen saved the King

Paring: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Mafia Au Series

Warning: SMUT, literally porn on paper 😗, lots of fluff, violence, gang, bratty!reader, dom!tae, daddy!tae, daddy kink, babygirl kink, punishment, bigdick!tae, rough sex, make up sex, lots of after care, pregnancy kink, oral!sex, deep throating and everything in between🤧

Warning in this chapter: just blood, wounds and guns, well a gun

Word Count: 5.1k

Summary:

Kim Taehyung, Now a feared and well known crimes boss but not was he always the man that he is today, searching for the women that saved him on the day that changed his life forever. Willing to sacrifice everything to find the women that could tame him.

One day after 5 years she shows up in his night club, will he be able to hold himself back from taking her and claiming her as his queen or will he do what he do everything in his power to make her his?

A/N: Hi, this is the first chapter that I’m releasing and it’s basically the prologue of how they met, hope you guys like it, if you want to be tagged please tell me and don’t forget to leave some feedback. Also I might be releasing chapter 1 tonight or early tmr, I just need to read though it for mistakes. Much love 💕😗 -B

Next chapter

Five Years Ago

The sound of police sirens roams the city, as darkness and fog rain down on Seoul city. Helicopters roaring the skies and the bad guy trying to hide. Kim Taehyung, A man being tracked down by polices and rival gangs from a exchange gone wrong, blood spewing from his stomach and bruises on his face as he runs through the alley. The only thing in his mind right now is to survive the night and make it make it back home alive, or at least die trying.

He keeps running and running for his life as he hears footsteps behind him like the devil is chasing me to take away his life and drag him to hell but he isn’t ready to die yet! Not just yet. He still has a lot more things to accomplish and until he does that not even the devil himself can drag him to hell.

The cut in his stomach is deep and the pain his unbearable but he has to keep it up and there’s no stopping cause if he’s stops he’ll get caught like a mouse in a trap. But he is no mouse, no fucking mouse at all. He’s a fucking mighty lion, no a fucking Dragon that’s roaring and will get his revenge on the people that played him, the ones he thought were family and sold him out. He will kill who ever gets in his way but he’ll just have to survive the deadly night as it calls out to him .

The pain keeps worsening and worsening but he doesn’t know what to do but clutch onto the stomach and hope for the best. A dragon doesn’t die easily, it’s gonna take more than a pack of Hyenas to take down this mighty Dragon.

But the Dragon wasn’t always like this, he had a family, that until he was left in front of an adoption center with no note no fucking idea of where he came from or who his parent were, he spent all his life trying to find out what happened that night that someone decided to leave him, was he not worth the love that a baby deserved? Was he that worthless that his parents gave him up for adoption? Was he not enough. These sentences rang through his mad all his life up til now, the day he’s praying to what every god is listening to him to not let him die, he will keep fight on and on until he’s on top of the food chain.

Kim Taehyung grew up to do bad things, very bad bad things, join gangs at a very young age, was made into the leaders puppet and rose up slowly to be the right hand man of the Cobra gang.

The cobra gang was well known gang of youths in their 20s doing wilds shits like shootouts with the police and drug dealing and selling girls, the reason Kim Taehyung joined the gang at such a young age was to survive, he didn’t like the idea of selling people, doing drugs or anything as such but he had to survive, in a world full of

Cobras and Hyenas he had to survive. He mad a living out of this and he rose to be the right hand man of the Cobras but oh man, that didn’t didn’t go down well.

Did it!?

The thing that burns him was that he was never a Cobra, never was and never will be.

A few miles away at Seoul estate town houses ~

Walking into her house Y/N sighed, “can this day get any worse” she flopped down in the sofa and looked at her phone, hoping for a call from a certain someone, but what was she hoping for?

She got up from the sofa and strutted up to her master bedroom. From the ceiling hung a huge diamond chandelier, to the side floor to ceiling widows, fine famous artwork hung on the walls and in the middle room, her queen sized bed made for the queen herself. Her room was every girls dream, a large space with with many expensive things, a humongous walk in wardrobe filled with designer clothings, shoes, purses and more. Y/N could get anything she wanted, whether it’s cars, houses, clothes, she could get anything she wanted, but she was no brat. Well maybe sometimes.

Walking into the closet, she took her suit attire off, she was promoted to the creative designer of Givenchy and got everything she wanted on her way up the ladder but the pressure on her shoulders were too real. She looked at the mirror in mirror in front of her and saw her figure, she was a beautiful girl no doubt about that, she was fine as hell, the only thing that could fault her was her mind, the mind that thinks she could be a failure to her family.

After changing into a white tank top and joggers she walked back out into her bedroom and down towards the living room that Intertwined with the kitchen.

Y/n turned the kettle as she walked from the kitchen to the living room, she sat down on her sofa and smiled as she turned in the tv “ finally, I get to sit the fuck down” she groaned. As she scrolls through Netflix a call comes through a phone. She looked at her phone screen and smiled at the name of no one else but her best friend E, short for EziKia, a girl she has known since she was a baby, their fathers grew up together and were very close with each other and that’s how they greet up to know each other. “Hey bitch” her best friend spoke “ how was work?!” She continued. As Y\N looked at the TV she replied “girl it was a disaster, you know how I get when I have to present my work”. “I know” her best friend laughed “But I’m sure you did fine and I’m sure they loved every bit of your design for the new collection” her best friend smirked as she spoke, “I’m already proud of you, I’m fucking excited for the new collection to drop”

Y/n’s a young girl, she always grew up with her parents love and affection but couldn’t find her place in the world, alright she had everything she wanted from her parents, finding love within her self was hard. Yes she has confidence, yes she’s amazingly breathtaking and beautiful, she doesn’t need anyone to tell her then cause she knows that and she knows she bad and she can get everything she wants in this world. She knows she worth all that. But why is it so hard for her to find love, not with any man but within herself, it is almost as if she hides behind this facade of confidence. Her insecurity’s ushers to come out of her but she builds this facade to hide it front he world. And the one thing she is most scared of is losing her family if she doesn’t make them proud. She feels as if it’s hard to love herself and make everyone else proud of her.

Y/N groaned as we moved on the sofa and said “I hope so, enough about me and my day, how was yours?” Ester sighed “ my day was amazing until I got home and got into an argument with my Khai” Y/N rolled her eyes and asked “what was the argument about this time?!” “ He dreamt that I cheated on him and he got mad at me!” Y/N couldn’t hold I get laughter and laughed out loud “ what the hell, now that is too funny”

“ well now he’s still mad at me for no reason and I won’t be the first person to apologize cause it wasn’t me fault to begin with”. EziKia replied

“Well it was your fault” Y/N began “ you cheated on him” “In his dream”they both said at the same time.

Ezikia and her boyfriend Khai have been dating for a while now and they’re hopelessly in love but they argue about the summery things in the world, which is why Y/N think they’re a perfect match cause they’re literally dumb and dumber.

The kettle hissed and Y/N spoke “ what’re you up to now anyways” as she Stirred her tea waiting for ester to reply. “ nothing if I’m honestly just playing games at the moment” she laughed out,”what about you”. “ just made some tea and about to watch haunted on Netflix” Y/N replied and she sat down on the sofa and pressed play.

A moment of silence filled the room.

“Have you spoken to J yet?” The voice of her friend E rang through the phone

“Who?” she replied

Sighing out in frustration her friend spoke “ You know who Y/N, you can’t stay mad it him forever he’s also your friend”

“I’m not mad at him E” she hushed out looking at her phone.

J short for Jungkook was Y/N other friend, they were very close, they loved each other but they both didn’t have the guts to tell each other that, it could fuck up the friendship but it was only friendship right?, they would always fight and instantly make up but this was different, they weren’t speaking but it’s not like it’s her fault....right? J was always a nice guy, treating her the best, they would always flirt with each other but it wasn’t anything serious, it was always just games but when she saw him kissing another person, her heart felt like it exploded and she felt like she had been betrayed and betrayal was too real to bear.

But how could this be a betrayal if they aren’t in love? That’s what they both keep telling themselves right?

He’s not her responsibility and she doesn’t love him like that, but she keeps lying to herself and he betrayed her and so she can’t let it go. Not just yet, she just needs to stay mad at him just a little longer.

The rain began to fall as she spoke to her friend, they laughed and continued speaking, hours has passed and the clock struck midnight and they said their goodnight and they both hung up. As she continued watching the tv, the rain outside came worse, Turning into a thunder storm. The wind whistled outside and lighting struck and she could hear the Thunder roaring. She began to shiver at the should and the flashes outside her windows “ why the fuck am I sacred of thunder” she whispered to herself as she continued to watch the series, it still came as a shock to her at how she was some what scared of the sound of thunder and lighting but she’s able to sit through and watch a full series of horror stories by herself at night.

Hours and hours had passed as she watched the series and she felt her eyes beginning to fall close and she then drifts of to sleep on her cloud like sofa and feels like dreams.

She dreams about her future, what it would be like if she followed what her parents told her to become, maybe then she would think she wasn’t such a Failure to her family.

Although her parents were always supportive, Y/N felt that she wasn’t enough, she saw the look on their face of disapproval when she said she wanted to become a fashion designer, it was like she disappointed her parents saying what she said and wanting to become a designer instead of a doctor. But her parents were always proud of what a women she had become and loves her deeply. However she felt that just In case her fashion career doesn’t workout, she learnt a few tricks from her older sister who was obviously a doctor about how to deal with someone is had been wounded.

The man still on the run 10 minutes away~

Kim Taehyung on the other hand was also having the worst fucking day of his entire life! How could this get any worse, first the drug and money exchange gone wrong with the rival gang, obviously he was set up to fail by you know who and now he’s not just running from the gang who are out to kill him for more money and truce between the gangs as Kim Taehyung’s boss thought he was out to take his place on the Cobras throne.

Now with the police are after him too, since he was like the “ right hand man to the king “cobra” he knew a lot about him and the police where out to shut all the bullshit down but Taehyung had his loyalty, but how loyal can a ‘dog’ be if he’s been abandoned but he never snitches. Running from the gangs, Taehyung has a run in with the police and they saw him at his venerable place, bruised up and cut deep, so they decided to take him out to show the “king cobra” what they could do with his “people”.

But obviously that was fucking useless cause they used him and played him hard.

And Taehyung was no longer a cobra at this moment of betrayal, Kim Taehyung knew where his loyalty lies and that was with himself, he will get his revenge on everyone that played him, the cobra, the police & his family.

He continued running as his life depended on it, but he never looked back to see if he was being followed he kept his eyes straight forward and went on. The rain kept pouring on him as he ran and ran and ran like there was no end to the road, he suddenly slowed down as he crouched down in pain and held his stomach, “fuuuck” he groaned. He wasn’t going to let today be the day that he died, he had a lot to live for if he wanted his revenge. He got up again clinging to stomach and continued walking. As he approached a few blocks of town houses, he had to get out of the rain and get some help of else he might die, he walked up the stairs to bang in the door but there was no response. He then continued to the next few houses but there was still no response. He groaned in frustration as there was no one to help him. He then saw a light at the end of the block of houses and walks towards the light, walked up the stairs and banged on the door as if trying to break down the door.

He continued banging on the door as if it was his last resort which it was, he whispered out all his might but the only thing that came out was a soft breath “please help” he never thought he would have to resort to begging but here he was outside a strangers door, hair and clothes drenched from the storm asking for help not knowing if the person inside would be kind enough to help a poor stranger in need.

As if he gave up, he leaned against the door and shut his eyes closed, but then he heard foot steps coming from the other side other door and the locks clicked and the door Swung open. He looked up slowly from down at the strangers feet to the face and he saw the stranger in front of him, “wow she’s beautiful” he thought to himself,

“Thank you” he sighed out of relief as his vision became blurry and everything went black.

At Y/N House ~

Y/N woke up from her sleep hearing banging on the front of her door, she lifted herself up from her sofa that was way to comfortable to leave the room and groaned out “ who the fuck is banging on my door at the hour”.

As she got up she realised that she fell asleep on the sofa and left the lamp on.

She looked at her clock and it was almost 3 am, she then whispered “ why do I always either get waken up or wake up at around 3am” as if she was scared and her suspicions came creeping in the back of her mind. And she thought ghost always wonder around at 3 AM. She then was pulled from her thoughts by the loud bang at the door again and she slowly made her way to the front of the house and she saw a figure standing outside, she thought to herself thinking she shouldn’t open up the door to strangers at this hour, as she slowly turned to leave she suddenly hears a cry of help “please help” the stranger whispered silently.

As she heard the cry of help, she thought to herself “ I should probably help this person” “ but what if the pardon is a Pedophile or someone really dangerous” as if her demon and angel thoughts were fighting each other she huffed out a breath and walk towards the door turned the lock opened the door. There stood a tall man twice her size, built like a Greek GOD, dressed in a suit that was drenched from the rain droplets of water falling from his fringe a hand holding onto his stomach that was bleeding, bruises on his face and the other hand holding onto the doorframe. The man then looked from down at her feet, then his eyes lifted up to her face, she then saw him smile for a second then his eyes suddenly shut closed and he fell forwards towards her.

Her eyes grew wide was she was trying to hold her balance and trying to hold a man twice her size that just fainted at her door step. Not knowing what to do as the man’s head laid on her shoulder, she then whispered “ fuck it” then leaned sideways and the man dropped to the floor. Sighing she looked down at the stranger that passed out on her, who she then dropped to the door, frustration and guilt overpowering her mind and she closed her eyes and thought for a moment.

She then crouched down, grabbed him from under his armpits and dragged him a little further into the house and closed the door. She then began to slowly drag him through her house to the living room, “ damn he’s fucking heaving” she choked out. After a though 20 minutes grafting him through her house, She then was able to lay him on her couch that she adored very much and said “ well maybe that wasn’t the best idea” as her white couch began to turn red form blood stain that fell form the stranger. Then her eyes turned to the gun that sat perfecting in the holster wrapped around the mans body. “Shit”. Her face was stoned cold from shock, asking herself why this man had a gun on him and why he was bleeding and she palmed then slapped her forehead, sighing out loud in frustration and anger at herself for helping this possibly dangerous handsome man.

She looked at him and for a few seconds fought with her self, asking herself if she should still help this stranger for all she knows he could be really dangerous. She shook off her thought and went into her bathroom to the her first AID kit to help this poor, passed out man on her couch. She ran back into the living room, crouched down lifted his shirt to tend to his wounds and bruises.

As she opened up his shirt she saw how beautiful he was built, the tone muscles that covered him and the tattoos that bloomed on his chest. She also noticed that he had many scars in his body, the ones where it shows be fought for his life.

As time passes, she stared at the beautiful but bruised up stranger and couldn’t help but feel bad for him, she thought of many things that he must have gone trough and couldn’t help but wonder who this man is.

Time deciding to go really fast~

The clocked struck 7:30 am and very loud pound bang came though the house from the door at the front. Y/N opened her eyes slowly and saw the stranger lying into of her, she hadn’t know that she fell asleep looking at the stranger and she drifted into her thoughts. Then the loud bang pulled her from her thought and she hurried to her feet and went to the door. The door opens and she saw a group on men in uniform. The mother-fucking police. “ Hi miss, sorry to disturb you this fine morning, We just wanted to ask you a few questions if that is ok” she nods her head and the police proceeded to ask the questions. “ Did a man came knocking on you door last night?” She hesitated for a moment and shook her head no and the made some notes in their notebooks and proceeded to ask another. “ Did you see or hear anything suspicious last night” she shook her head again said “ no officer” and the officer furrowed their eyebrows and said “Miss your are not lying to us are you?” she then replied “ no “ and they ushered “ Miss you need to tell us if you saw anything cause this man is a very dangerous man and he killed a lot of people and we need your help” The silence loomed around them but Y/N didn’t say a word. Although she just heard of how dangerous this man was, she helped him and already lied and there was no going back.

She could be arrested for helping a criminal and lying about it. The shock on her face was clear but she payed it off well and shook her head in disagreement and said “no officer, i didn’t see anything or any man of any sort” and smiled softly hoping to get them off her back.

The police stared at her as if they knew she was lying carried on saying,

“ Then miss what is this blood stain that is here on your door step?” She was surprised as she didn’t realize there would be blood at her door step even though a bleeding man was just at her foot steps a few hours ago. She then huffed out trying to sound as smooth as possible, then lied “ You see officer, last night I came home late From my boyfriend house and I forgot my underwear at his house, you know what happened there” she winked “ I came on my period and bled on the floor and I forgot to clean it up” she then thought “what the fuck was I thinking lying to the police like that, this is embarrassing” They’re not gonna believe that are they?

As she opened her mouth to speak again she stopped her herself as she saw the flustered faces on the officers, they then said “ oh, sorry miss, s-sorry to bother you and thank you for your help” then then bowed and turned and walked back to their car.

Y/n shocked at her own words hurriedly shut the door and leaned against it and spoke” fuck that was embarrassing”. As she turned she was greeted with a shirtless man with patched of wounds that SHE patched up holding a gun towards her head. Her eyes then widened in shock but not fear, “ so this is how your gonna treat your saviour?!” She spoke, the silent that came after could Pierce through someone like a knife, he then softly growled in a low husky voice “ thank you “ and lowered his gun. “You’re welcome “ she said as she rolled her eyes, bumped his shoulders and walked past him back towards the kitchen.

He then turned to follow the small girl that helped him last night. As they entered the kitchen he spoke lowly “ so YOU were the one that was bleeding in front of your own door” he asked, she then said with confidence “YES, the reason I said that was to save your ass and I don’t even know you” she turned to look at him and met his ice cold gaze, if looks could kill she would be dead right now. “ that’s right, you don’t know me” he hushed out “ so why would you help me” he raised his gun again. “ Will you stop raising your gun at me” she shouted, he then touched his stomach in pain. She then asked with worry in her voice “ are you ok”.. nothing, there was silence as she watched him crouch in pain. “Yea....I’m fine for now” he whispered, y/n furrowed her eyes brows and looked at him with sympathy and said “ do you want some pain killers?” He nodded and she turned on her feet to search trough her drawers for pain killers and sprung back into the kitchen to give home the medicine. She watched as he gulped down the pain killer with a glass of water and smiled, relieved that she was able to help him. She then broke the silence, “ since I don’t know you, want to tell me who you are?”

“No” he bluntly said he got up to pick his shirt up from the side of the sofa and put it on. “Also, who gave you permission to take my clothes off” he said glaring at her. She then scoffed “ dude, you seriously need to get you anger and manners in check, I helped you and this is how your repaying me!” His gaze soften at her words but then he frowned again saying “you don’t have to tell me every minute that you saved me”

Y/n couldn’t believe what the hell was going on, this man she just saved from DEATH itself never mind the police, DEATH! was treating her like this. But maybe he was right she thought, maybe she didn’t have to shove it in his face every minute that she saved him, “sorry” she said Turning from him as he was finally dressed in his bloodied clothes.

As she walked away, he slowly turned his head and leave into the kitchen, he thought to himself that he should be great full that this beautifully kind stranger helped him when no one else would. He then followed her into the kitchen and watch her make food for them. He watched as she busied herself in the kitchen with her task and a smile crept of his face. There was literally and angel right in front of him but he couldn’t give her the satisfaction of that and so his smile disappeared as she turn to look at him.

They then stared at each other for a few minutes and as if time slowed down he couldn’t believe his eyes, it was like love at first sight, he couldn’t believe he was falling in love with this stranger at their first meet but it couldn’t be love could it? He’s just great full for her helping him...isn’t he?

“What are you staring at” she broke the silence

“Obviously not you” he replied harshly

He has to be rude and he can’t fall in love with her not now and not ever, because of who he is, if he falls in love with her she could be a target to the gangs and it’s not like she’s in love with him anyway, she’s probably so scared for him and wouldn’t want anything to do with him after he leaves. He thought and sighed.

Y/n watched him as he lowered his gaze and thought to her self what this stager has gotten himself into that he’s running from the police, he’s such a beautiful and muscular man with tattoos that covered his body and instantly she almost fell in love. ALMOST. She was just glad she was able to help him and continued looking at him in pity.

A few moments had passed and she continued making the breakfast and he gazed up at her and watch her work.

She could literally be the light of his world but his world is to damn dangerous.

A few minutes later she had made breakfast, she turned and shoved the plate towards him “ Eat . You’ll need the energy” “thanks” he whispered and they both ate in silence. “I’m Taehyung” she looked up towards him as he broke the silence “I’m Y/N” “nice to meet you” he countered and then said softly “thank you for saving my life Y/N”.

Then awkward silence filled the room.

She shyly looked up from her plate and broke the silence again saying “ Why were the police looking for you?”

“ That’s none of your business” he said harshly and glared at her with his Piercing eyes

“Well it’s now my business since I helped you, why the were the police chasing you?” She shouted back

“ I don’t give a fuck that you helped me, I can literally kill you right now” laughing as he spoke out.

“ You really have a rude temper you know that?” She glared

Gazing back at her slowly, he opened his mouth to speak.

“I know” he spoke softly as if she just tamed him.

He watched as she got back to eating, and he watched the way she ate her food and how her lips moved as she continued speaking..as if he couldn’t like her more than he already does, everything she does changes him and makes him weaker than he currently is.

She was a girl full of sassiness and confidence but was also very kind and warm hearted and he couldn’t help but fall hard.

Was it wrong?

He got up as her gaze came up to meet his face,

He then leaned in over the small table and pecked her lips with his.

SMACK!

Out of shock her hand landed in his beautiful bruised face and he groaned out in pain “fuck, I deserved that” as he leaned back in his chair.

“ yes you deserved that!” She shouted back and he rose from his seat, rounded the table and approached her, grabbed her face and kissed her hard on the lips , flames rose up Y/N face and she shoved him backwards and slapped him hard again “ the fuck is wrong with you” she screamed. Taehyung held his face and smirked saying “ thank you for saving me princess”, he turned, put on his blazer then left, Y/N still shocked from what just happen lifted her hands to her lips and touched her lips softly with her fingers as she heard the door closed.

That was the first and last time last time they both saw each other.

The King just met his queen.

Tags: @sugarplummies

#taehyung smut #taehyung mafia au #bts fluff #bts v x reader #bts au #bts imagines #bts smut #daddys brat #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #tae tae #bts series #bts edit #bts mafia

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thebadgerclan · 3 years

Text

SFW Alphabet: Lucius Malfoy

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucius is a very affectionate man, always wanting you to know just how loved and adored you are. He’s almost always holding your hand or has an arm around your shoulders, or both. When you’re alone at home, Lucius will hold you in his lap, pressing kisses all over your face.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Lucius has very few people who he considers friends, Severus being among them. But having him as a friend, you’re never alone on anything. Lucius will stand by your side through anything, acting as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it. If you need some sway with the Ministry, he’s more than willing to help you there too.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Lucius adores cuddling: having you in his arms, holding you close, it’s one of his favorite things. When the two of you are alone, he likes to have you in his lap as the two of you read or just spend time together. Lucius is always the big spoon, with you either facing him or with your back to his chest. He also likes it when he’s on his back and you’re tucked into his side or lying on top of him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Lucius does want to settle down with you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You already own his heart, he knows that there’s no other woman for him, so he sees no reason not to settle down with you. He’s already got the massive manor, but if you want to move somewhere smaller, he’s already signing the deed. Lucius is shit at cleaning, he’s had house elves for his entire life, but he can cook pretty well. He doesn’t do so very often, but sometimes, when he wants to surprise you, he’ll shoo the elves from the kitchen and cook you a romantic dinner (he has to call them back because he has no clue where stuff is, but he does cook the meal)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would break his heart into a million pieces to end things with you, but if he had to, Lucius would put on the icy, cold, unapproachable exterior he shows to everyone but you. “This can’t go on, Y/N,” he says, feeling ill with himself. “We’re done. I’m sorry, it’s over.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Lucius most certainly wants to marry you, and now that Narcissa’s out of the picture, he can. You’re together for about a year or so before he gets you a ring, and as soon as the little box is in his hand, he’s planning a super romantic evening for you. After a 5 star meal, complete with champagne and dessert, he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He may seem like a cold, cruel man, but around you, he is the gentlest, kindest, warmest man you’ve ever met. Lucius is such a gentle man around you, treating you like a fawn (and fawning [pun not intended] over you as one does a baby deer), always being tender and gentle. Emotionally, he’s such a sweetie, never raising his voice at you. I won’t say he never gets angry with you, because he’s human, but he tries not to.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Lucius likes hugs, though you’re usually the one to initiate them. He prefers to be able to hold you for longer periods of time, and as hugs are usually short lived, they’re not his favorite. Don’t get me wrong, he loves it when you hug him, he loves any form of physical intimacy with you, he just prefers cuddling. That being said, his hugs are strong, he squeezes you tight against him, sometimes knocking the wind out of you. He’ll rest his chin on your head, and kiss you sweetly when he pulls away.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Lucius waits until he’s 100% certain of his feelings for you, more for your benefit than his. He doesn’t want to rush into telling you he loves you if he thinks he might walk back on it (that’s very unlikely, but he wants to be sure). After 5ish months, when you’re away for a week and Lucius feels physical pain in his chest for missing you, that’s when he knows he loves you. The first words out of his mouth when you return are “I love you, Y/N. I love you more than anything else in this world, and I will always love you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Lucius is a VERY jealous man, you are his and his alone, no one else gets to have you. If he sees someone looking at you a little too long, making eyes at you, hitting on you, or making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s at your side immediately. Lucius will pull you into his side, arm tight around your shoulders or waist, grey eyes staring daggers at whoever dared to speak to you. “Are you alright, my dear?” As soon as you’re alone, Lucius will kiss you hard, usually pushing you against a wall, snarling “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lucius is a very skilled kisser, he knows how to convey every single emotion just by pressing his lips to yours. He’ll pull you fluff against him, arms around your middle; one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other either on your back or ass. He likes to kiss your lips, obviously, but he also loves kissing your forehead, neck, hands, chest, and thighs. He likes being kissed on the lips, again, obviously, on the cheeks, the chin (because that might be all you can reach), hands, shoulders, basically anywhere.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) I HC that Lucius played a massive role in raising Draco, so I think he’s pretty good with kids. Kids that aren’t his tend to get on his nerves a little, but his own kids, man, they’re the moon and the sun to him. He adores his own children to no end, and if you want to have kids with him, Lucius is more than happy to be a father again.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Lucius gets up early most mornings, so he’s not always there when you get up. But there’s always a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like on the nightstand under a stasis charm, usually with a little love note under the cup. On the days he can sleep in a bit, you wake with Lucius wrapped around you (he’s wrapped around you every morning, you’re just awake for it this time). He’ll gently kiss you awake, smiling when you open your eyes. “Good morning, my love.”

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights and evenings are quiet intimate affairs between the two of you. Evenings usually entail a private, often romantic dinner before the two of you retire to the sitting room. Lucius will usually hold you on his lap or have you tucked into his side. You either read together, talk about your day, or watch a movie (Lucius has a home theatre type setup, fight me). When it gets late, he’ll lead you up to the master bedroom where you usually share a bath or shower (which can lead to sex), before going to bed, you held close to Lucius’ chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once Lucius is sure and comfortable in your relationship, he’ll start to reveal things about himself. Not all at once, more like when you ask him questions, but he won’t hide things from you once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Lucius has a temper, but he keeps it in check with you. You do make him angry sometimes, but it’s never long lasting, and it never gets physical. He might brood in his study for a little bit, but after an hour or so he’ll come out and apologize for being a bear.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) At the beginning of your relationship, Lucius is so dedicated to remembering every little thing about you, he actually keeps a little journal. It’s filled with random things that you’ve said on your early dates, things like “Favorite color: blue, Hogwarts house: Y/H, had three dogs as a child: Kelly, Mary, and Pepper.” Obviously, he doesn’t need it after a while, but he still has the journal in his bedside table. The last addition he made was: “Likes princess cut diamonds, jeweler on 5th has wide selection.”

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Lucius’ favorite memory of you is the first time the two of you had dinner with Draco. The only thing more important to him than you was Draco liking you. After Lucius had escorted you back home, he returned to the Manor where Draco was waiting. “So?” Lucius asked, pacing nervously. Draco just smiled. “I like her, Father. She’s not Mother, but I like her.” He was so happy to hear that his son liked you, he couldn’t sit still for hours.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He’s very protective, Lucius wants and needs to know that you’re safe at all times. He’ll never stop you from doing something or going somewhere, but if there’s potential for you to get hurt, he’s either going with you or putting measures in place to make sure you’re safe. Lucius loves you more than anything or anyone, he can’t bear the thought of losing you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) This man has the resources to make you feel like royalty every single day, so you’d better believe that Lucius goes all out on dates and anniversaries. Fancy restaurants, expensive wine and food, and anniversaries and gifts are on a whole nother level. Trips to Paris, Athens, Madrid, anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of going, Lucius will take you there. His gifts are usually very expensive, diamond earrings, necklaces, bracelets, designer clothes, but they can also be sentimental: a book you’ve had your eye on for a while, candy from Honeydukes he knows you like.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Lucius can be a bit narcissistic, very self centered. He sometimes gets so wrapped up in his own head that he forgets that he has a girlfriend who wants and needs his attention. He always feels so guilty afterwards, apologizing profusely to you. He usually ends up surprising you with a fancy dinner or seducing you into be to show you how much he loves you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Have you seen the man? Lucius cares about his appearance, like, a lot. At the beginning of your relationship, he refused to spend the night with you, solely because he didn’t want you to see him when he work up; with bedhead and morning breath

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, you’ve stolen his heart, and Lucius cannot live without you. When he was away for a week on Ministry business, he felt like a shell of himself, like part of him was missing. You feel the same, hating when you’re away from him for too long. The thought of leaving him forever makes you feel sick, but Lucius is quick to reassure you that he’s yours forever.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Lucius has a very in depth skincare routine, and if he misses or skips a night, he’s blotchy in the morning

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner? Lucius can’t be with someone who can’t be serious. Of course, he loves it when his girl lets loose and laughs, but in more serious situations, he needs her to be serious. He’s all for being laid back and just having fun, but he feels there’s a time and a place for that versus being serious and sophisticated.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Lucius puts lavender oil on his pillow to help him fall asleep. He has a bit of insomnia, and it takes that or 4-5 rounds of sex to knock him out

#lucius malfoy x reader #lucius malfoy x you #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter reader insert

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ramblingandwritings · 3 years

Text

Harley Quinn NSFT alphabet

18+ for filth. M is deliberately omitted because I hate writing for it

A = Aftercare

Cuddling. It doesn't matter if the two of you are on the kitchen floor or the bed or the bathtub. You're cuddling

B = Body Part

She's very proud of her mind, she's got a PHD

On a partner she's not a picky woman at all

C = Cum

She's a squirter and she likes cumming on your face. She didn't warn you the first time it happened either, it was just a surprise

D = Dirty Secret

She doesn't keep secrets like that. If she wants to try a kink, she'll say so

E = Experience

She has a pretty good amount of experience with both men and women. Harley is a quick learner when it comes to new partners

F = Favourite Positions

If she's laying down the strap then she likes doggystyle but if she's the receiving partner then she likes to show off her flexibility anyway she can

G = Goofy

She's here to have fun with you so she's making jokes and having a good time

H = Hair

She's mostly waxed but she keeps a small amount of hair shaved into different patterns. Usually it's a heart or a diamond

I = Intimacy

Harley's been treated so poorly by her previous partners that she cried the first time you were actually gentle with her. She checks in on you frequently to make sure you're comfortable, you do the same for her

J = Jack-Off

Frequently, especially if you're busy. You can expect pictures and sometimes videos of it too

K = Kink

She has a lot of kinks. Overstimulation, bondage, sensory deprivation, a slight exhibition kink and dom/sub mechanics just to name a few

L = Location

Where do you want her? Club bathroom? She'll beat you to it. Car sex? Definitely. Her bedroom? You betcha

N = No

Nothing that reminds her of Joker which means pain play, gunplay and torture kinks are off the table

O = Oral

She is the undisputed head champ, give her a medal for her service. She's a fan of facesitting either giving or receiving

P = Pace

She's fast and rough unless you have her slow down

Q = Quickie

Absolutely. She'll just shove you in the nearest closet or stall if she feels like it

R = Risk

Harley isn't doing anything that's gonna get either of you hurt but she's willing to experiment and try new things

S = Stamina

She's gonna wear you out until you get used to her. You're gonna end up with the stamina of an athlete by the end of your first month with her because she can go for several rounds back to back

T = Toy

She has a lot of toys and she's knows how to use them but if she doesn't have a toy you want, then you two are headed to the sex shop so she can steal it

U = Unfair

She's a massive tease, she'll flirt with you all day and whisper the dirtiest things she can think of to rile you up. Occasionally she'll flash you if no one else can see

V = Volume

LOUD. Good lord, get ready for her. Invest in some soundproofing for your house otherwise the entire neighborhood is hearing her

W = Wild Card

Harley craves normal domestic life bullshit like showering together. Sex isn't even necessary, she just wants to be close to you

X = X-Ray

She's got the definition of a pretty pussy. Harley also has a heart tattoo on her right inner thigh you gave her

Y = Yearning

Her sex drive is high as hell and she doesn't hide it

Z = ZZZ

It takes her a bit to fall asleep afterwards, so she spends a while talking about whatever comes to her mind

#Harley Quinn x reader #Harley Quinn #NSFT #DC x reader #Suicide Squad #Birds of Prey #minors dni

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myloveforhergoeson · 1 year

Text

That's All She Wrote - Chapter 2

Find me on wattpad + ao3!

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

High School Never Ends (1.2)

Unpacking was by far the worst part of moving.

After all of Roxanne’s bags had been dropped at the door of her apartment by the moving company Kelly had hired three days ago, there had never been a chance for her to sit down and unpack them. She was only going through them to get any supplies that she had needed the last few days while they proved to the CEO, Arthur Griffin, that the boy band was back. Some time on Day Two the rest of her belongings that were too much to put on the plane had arrived and were also collecting dust by the door. It had been a long three days, but now everyone had a fresh start on Day Four. No one had to be at work until 9 am in order to give their boss, Gustavo Rocque, an adequate amount of time to rest after the stressful start to the week.

Roxy never wanted to be an early riser, but the combination of working late shifts at the radio station in order to finalize any administrative work or wedge in any old pop songs she found online before the show started always resulted in her being awake at the most absurd hours. With a call time of 2 o’clock in the morning and high school starting not long after at 7:30 am, no wonder she was hardwired to naturally wake up just a bit too early.

When she had awakened this morning, she tossed and turned in an attempt to fall asleep again but just couldn’t bring herself to. It was a new experience to be living completely on her own and she wasn’t sure she liked it quite yet.

So, she did what any responsible 16 year old would do: put on a tape of her own, designed to get her woken up and get to unpacking. Picking up the heavy bags of clothing by the door, she could already sense it was going to be a long morning. The music wasn't playing too loud from her bedroom, but it was loud enough for Roxy not to hear the banging on the wall connecting to the neighboring apartment 2-J.

The first step was laying out her clothes. She separated them by color and style, placing them neatly on her bed before digging through some of the boxes for her hangers, absentmindedly singing along to “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” as she went. The first box she rifled through on her hanger quest held kitchen supplies which she placed in the small kitchenette of 2-H accordingly. Examining its contents, Roxy had found her tea kettle.

“Tea sounds great…” she mumbled to herself.

Under the soft light of the kitchenette, the silver kettle glittered as she filled it at the sink. She would have to remember it was on and catch it before it let out its scream - a good early morning challenge. Once she was done, she moved on to the next container. Box Two was full of her favorite novels and some of her old songbooks. It was easy to get distracted while unpacking and finding her old entertainment sent her down memory lane as she recalled the crummy songs she had written when she was younger.

Thankfully, there was a small built-in bookshelf on the wall by her bed. Box Two was one of the bigger ones, and she had a little bit of trouble carrying it from the door to her room but succeeded nonetheless. Reaching into the cardboard flaps, she pulled out one of her old books from her band days before quickly putting it back inside. She had gotten off track -what had she been looking for again? Hangers.

As she walked back into the main room, she heard someone speaking by the front door - loud enough to be heard over the tape. Walking over to the door, Roxy tried to catch as much of the conversation as she could.

“No, James, you knock. You’re the one complaining about your beauty rest. You didn’t need to drag us out here at 5 am.”

It was hard to tell who was speaking due to the background noise, so she moved over to her player and switched it off. Making her way to the door, she flung it open just before James had been able to knock.

In front of her apartment stood Big Time Rush, clad in their pajamas with very grumpy looks on their faces.

“Hello, boys, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Turn. The music. Off,” James did his best to demand, but his tired pausings between each word didn’t come off as intimidating as he had hoped.

“I did, I did, sorry for waking you up. Want to come in for some tea? I’ve got a kettle on.”

None of them said anything, they just walked past her and made a beeline to her couch, disappointed to find it was littered with smaller boxes and bags that hadn’t been able to fit by the door.

Carlos looked quite annoyed, but he moved a couple of boxes to the floor, opening them up and examining the contents.

“Is everything you own red?”

He held up a big stack of crimson hangers.

“Of course,” the girl replied as she took the items from him. “Red is the best and most beautiful color in the world, plus it’s super lucky. Thanks for your help, I was looking for those,” she moved to place them in the bedroom before a thought crossed her mind. With a smile, she whirled back around to face the boys as she leaned in the doorway to her room. “Does anyone else want to help me unpack so you can relax sooner?”

The other three boys groaned as they each took a box of their own as the next complaint came from James.

“Did you have to bring all of Minnesota?”

Roxy snorted, pointing a finger to the opposite wall her apartment shared with the bands’, “I walked into the bathroom in 2-J the other day and the entire counter space was taken up by your hair and skin products. I don’t even want to imagine what your closet looks like.”

“It is very organized, unlike this place, for your information.”

Opening her mouth to respond, Logan jumped in to stop them from bickering any longer.

“I’m going to go grab some dishes, eggs, and bread from next door so we can have some breakfast. James, would you like to join me?”

Logan was her savior as he dragged the yawning boy out of 2-H. Roxy decided to take the kettle off the burner until they came back.

With a huff, she turned to the other two boys who were dutifully unpacking boxes and putting items away where they guessed they might belong.

“Can you help me carry the boxes into my bedroom? Then we can all sit on the couch and eat.”

With a few quick nods, the three each grabbed a box and entered the door to her bedroom. Based on the disastrous state of the rest of the apartment, the boys were shocked to see the tidiness of her room. The only mess to be found was the piles of clothing on her red duvet. Posters of her favorite bands and celebrities covered the tan walls along with a collage of photos and postcards of different Minnesota landscapes. Her guitar was propped up on a stand by the closet next to a small wicker basket of stuffed animals.

“I’ve never been in a girl’s room before…” Carlos explained, eyes wandering to each and every corner to see what he could learn about his new friend. “I can’t believe you have that terrible Boyquake poster that Gustavo has! Taylor Swift… and you like Green Day? That’s awesome, I like them too. The Jonas Brothers… They’re our rivals now, you know! And… Dak Zevon!” He turned to Kendall with pride. “It looks like our writer is the perfect fit since she loves boy bands so much.”

Roxy was appreciative of his praise. “Thank you, I’ve got to tape another picture of Nick over Joe’s face since he broke up with Taylor a couple of weeks ago. And the Boyquake poster was 25 cents at the thrift store, how could I not walk out with it?”

After they set their boxes down, Kendall popped over to her dresser to examine her trinkets and make-up organizers. Sticking out of the side of the large mirror he could see many pieces of paper and various ticket stubs for different concerts. One of the notes she had left herself, “Get the boys to Rocque Records by 9. Bring old songbooks to show Gustavo '' was presumably about today. Another, “Make more tapes for friends” and “Be kind! Rewind!” was a message matching one of the posters above her music player. However, the thing he was most interested in was a grouping of shoeboxes filled to the brim with old cassette tapes.

Picking a few of the tapes up, he saw most of them were titled as songs for different kinds of events or moods and most titles were in different handwriting - few of which he recognized as Roxanne’s.

“Which one are you playing now? ‘For Annoying Your Neighbors’? because it worked.“ He examined a few more. “You should just burn these onto CDs, it would make transporting them much easier. Tapes are so outdated, where did you even get these? ”

“I was doing inventory at the radio station and I found these boxes in the back of storage. Our system was entirely digital and no one wanted them, so I took them because I knew my dad had a tape player somewhere in the garage - blanks included so I can record any song and make my own,” the girl explained. “And no, I was not. My wake-up mix was on before I was interrupted by you sleepyheads.”

The opening of the front door signaled the arrival of James and Logan with breakfast supplies.

She continued, gesturing to the tape box, “If you want to put one on, be my guest, just make sure to rewind the one you take out.”

Kendall continued to dig through looking at the various titles in order to find his favorite. He cracked a smile as he popped one out, reading the bright red handwritten name aloud.

“‘For My Songwriter.’ Looks like Roxy’s boyfriend made her a special mixtape!”

At the mention of a potential boyfriend, James and Logan ran into the room at superhuman speed.

Tunnel visioned by her friend's comment, Roxy quickly walked over to where the blond was standing to take the cassette away from him, but he held it above his head, waving it around with a smirk on his face. A hockey player’s athletic prowess allowed Kendall to dart past her and take her wake-up mix out to pop the tape in his hand into her cassette player.

“You didn’t mention…” James began.

“...that there was a boyfriend,” Logan finished from beside the taller boy.

Before the writer had a chance to explain, a man’s voice filled the room. Roxy froze, knowing exactly what was to come. Something she hadn’t listened to in quite a while, something she had never expected to hear again.

“Hi, Rox, it’s Mag. I can’t thank you enough for all of your hard work you’ve been pouring into our band these past few months. So, I thought I’d make us all a CD - well, in your case, a cassette tape - that we can listen to to remember all of our favorite songs whenever we need some inspiration. This is yours, I’ll make a copy for myself and one for Dani to have, and that way we can all stay connected no matter where we are! Thanks for all the hits you’ve written us! Here’s the first song - my favorite song, please enjoy.”

“Hey There Delilah” by The Plain White T’s began to blast out of the speakers, visibly scaring Carlos at the sheer volume.

Mag never really understood how tape recording worked.

Roxy bowed her head at the thought, and made her way to the player, popping ‘For My Songwriter’ out.

“You didn’t rewind my wake-up songs, jerk,” she grumbled as she lightly shoved Kendall to the side and reached for the tape on the table. “Also, I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Her friends stood around the room, speechless. It seems that in all of their Hollywood adventures the four realized they didn’t actually know Roxy as well as they thought. Snooping in her things was a massive invasion of privacy - even if she had invited Kendall to play a tape, she did try and stop him from playing that particular one. They watched as the girl stuck the backside of a pencil in one of the holes of the cassette and wound it counter-clockwise, doing the same for the other one before gently tossing them back into the shoebox. When she was done, she turned to her friends with a smile on her face.

“Do you guys like your eggs scrambled or fried?”

***

Logan and Roxy stood at her small sink, washing and drying the dishes while the rest of the boys headed out to enjoy the pool before work.

“Breakfast was really good.Thanks a lot, Roxy.”

“No problem. Would you thank Mrs. Knight for letting us borrow her dishes?”

“Sure…”

The conversation trailed off.

By now, it was about 8:00 am and the boys had been kind enough to help her continue to unpack after the tape incident, so she just had to survive the next hour without any questions. Next to her, Logan continued.

“About earlier, the cassette. I’m really sorry we invaded your privacy like that,it seemed really personal.”

“It’s fine. I hadn’t heard that one in a while anyway.”

“We all miss our friends and families, except for Kendall of course. But he has extra support from Katie, too.”

“Ah, they aren’t really my friends anymore.”

Song-stealing losers.

She nearly stated her thought aloud but caught herself before it slipped out. It wasn’t Logan’s fault his friend had snooped around her room. Hell, she even invited him to play a tape, and it was probably a good sign that the band liked her enough to tease her in the first place.

Roxy continued, “But yeah, I get it. There’s nothing to be sorry for! If I was going to share something personal, it would be with you guys. Since I haven’t cracked Camille or the Jennifers yet, as of now you four are my best friends.”

The brunette’s expression softened for a moment, “Still, it’s for you to share, not for us to find out. But you can always rely on me, at the very least.”

“Thanks, Logan.”

With the end of their talk came the end of the dishes. Roxy made a mental note to hit the closest thrift store after work and get four more sets of dishware so she wouldn’t have to steal Mrs. Knight’s anymore. With everything of hers in 2-H’s cabinets, she walked back to her room.

“Hey, do you mind taking those dishes back? I’m gonna change for the pool and meet you in the hall.” Roxy didn’t wait for an answer before she closed the door to her room.

Taking a look around, nothing was out of place except for the two tapes she had left by her player. Walking over, she picked them up and tossed them into the shoebox on her dresser. Next time the boys were over she’d tuck it away, but for now, she left it out for easy access.

Opening up one of the dresser drawers, she focused on the day ahead. There was only an hour until they all needed to be at work, so the writer decided against swimming. Picking out a pair of shorts and a simple black crop top, she quickly dressed, did her make-up and put on a pair of flip-flops as she left the room. The girl made sure to grab her small backpack and shoved her keys and songwriting supplies inside, planning on coming back for her guitar later.

Heading out the door, she bumped into Logan, who had just finished getting ready himself.

“Carlos just texted me,” he informed his friend, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “They’ve got James asleep on a lounge chair and they put it in the middle of the pool.”

Roxy wasn’t very well versed in pranking, but entered the elevator excited to see whatever they had in store for James.

The doors to the elevator opened and Logan grabbed her hand and ran out to the pool. Before her, she could see the long-haired boy, curled up hugging a towel in his swim trunks with his lounge chair strategically placed on the step into the pool. Kendall and Carlos hovered above him, waving the pair over.

“It’s time,” Kendall stated, looking over to his friend.

“Woah!” Carlos yelled, but that didn’t seem to be enough to wake the sleeping boy. “Free hair gel!”

Like a bolt of lightning, James shot up and scrambled to the side of the chair in order to be first in line for the fake product. Instead of hitting the deck of the pool as expected, he was shocked as he fell into the water shouting something about the gel. Splashing around a little bit, he finally reached the surface and saw the four doubled over with laughter at the scene that had unfolded moments ago.

“Real funny, now where’s the free hair gel?” The boy in the pool complained as he climbed out. Exiting, he shook his head to get the water out of his hair, pelting Roxy in the face.

“Gustavo was right, you really are a dog.” She complained at him, before reaching into her bag to grab a towel.

Setting her belongings on a nearby lounge chair, she dried off. When she looked back over to the boys she saw Kelly Wainwright had appeared, asking them to dry off and get dressed. So much for their hour at the pool.

Approaching, she heard Kendall begin to speak.

“Kelly! What does the great Gustavo Rocque have in store for us today?”

Next to him, Logan chimed in, “Harmonies?”

“Breaking down some new dance moves?” Carlos added on.

“A big Hollywood party to get us some red carpet exposure?”

Their assistant rolled her eyes at James’ final and most ridiculous answer. Clearly, they hadn’t been listening to the last team Big Time Rush meeting as today was the day they began studying at the School of Rocque.

The previous night, Roxanne made a quick trip to the office supply store in the shopping center down the block. On the company’s dollar, she made sure she had all the supplies she needed from journals to binders, and her favorite red pens in order to make sure she stayed on top of her studies while in Los Angeles. Not that she particularly liked school, but if she wanted to continue staying in L.A. after high school she needed a good education background in order to get all the scholarships she would need to afford a school in town like UCLA or USC. Maybe if she were lucky enough she could swing tuition from Rocque Records, but she didn’t want to rely on anyone but herself for now.

On her trip, she had also picked out color-coded supplies for the guys, but by the scream they gave as Kelly explained they would be attending classes today, she assumed they hadn’t gotten the bags she had left outside their door. Hopefully, Mrs. Knight had done something with them.

Looking over to the songwriter, Kelly very clearly rolled her eyes and began to walk towards the lobby, teens in tow. Carlos was the first one to protest.

“School? You’ve got to be kidding, right?”

He was starting to get on the sweet woman’s nerves. “Carlos! For the 11th time - I’m not kidding. You all thought you were gonna get one month off from school?”

Everyone except for Roxy nodded, so Kelly continued, “According to the actors, singers, and performers association, kids under 18 in the entertainment industry must attend four hours of school a day.”

“Beats the seven hours it would’ve been back home, huh?” Roxy added, doing her best to help the talent scout in persuading her friends to attend willingly.

Before anyone could answer, a school bell rang in the hotel lobby and a horde of children emerged from behind Kelly, knocking her to the side. Each carried a backpack and were heading towards one of the meeting rooms of the hotel. From the crowd, a friendly redhead emerged, explaining to the five they were attending school in the Palm Woods. Behind Tyler, the Jennifers walked by - arms linked.

“Oh, Roxanne, we wish you could come with us,” Blonde Jennifer stated as the other two nodded in agreement.

“Me too girls, we’ll have to catch up after class lets out.”

The three walked away, catching the boy’s eyes as they did, giving them a shred of hope that school wouldn’t be so bad after all. Big Time Rush followed in order to scope out what their first day of class would be like.

“Hey, Kelly?” The songwriter asked the agent. “Maybe you should tell them that they aren’t attending Palm Woods school.”

***

The entire ride to Rocque Records was filled with complaints and objections to not attending school at the Palm Woods. Though it was distracting, Roxanne did her best to ignore them as she texted Camille about an acting job she was skipping class to try out for.

R: I don’t think you really fit the mean girl role

C: sure i do! i’ve been practicing on logan all week~

R: He’s not going to understand you like him if you’re mean to him!

C: of course he will, he’s the smart one right?

R: Yea, but even smart guys are pretty dumb when it comes to girls :p

C: lolll, i’m going in now so i’ll talk to you later!

R: Good luck!!!

Roxanne briefly peeked over at Logan. Camille had confided in the girl about her crush a day ago when they had hung out together in the park and since then, neither one of them could tell if the studious boy had any feelings for her as well. In all fairness, they had only been in L.A. for four days.

Of all the members of her boy band, she only knew about James’ dating history, but it would be hard to believe none of them had dated in the past. Though hockey wasn’t as popular as some of the other sports in school, there must have been tons of female fans if the rest of the team looked anything like her friends.

Arriving at the studio caused her to break her thoughts and she scrambled to grab her small backpack and guitar. Exiting the limo, the five made their way up to their classroom where they were soon to be greeted by their new classroom and overeager “principal” according to Kelly.

Considering the fact the room was the size of a supply closet, it was no wonder only four desks were able to fit. Roxy chose first, making her way to the front left desk and placing her items down around her. She brought her notebook and songbook out - just in case inspiration struck - and as she reached for her pencil case, James sat down next to her.

“Can I borrow a pencil?” He whispered to her while the other boys took their seats.

“Did you even check the bags I left for you?” The girl responded loudly as she looked around to see the other band members with the supplies she had given them. “I even color-coded them for you, all your stuff was purple, Kendall’s were black, Logan’s green, and Carlos’ were blue.”

His response was plain: “Oh, that’s what those were.”

“You are going to be the death of me.” She sighed, ripping out a few pages of her notebook and handing him one of her many red pens. “Next time I leave you something outside your door, take it.”

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” the long-haired boy shot her a wink. “And don’t worry, we won’t be here much longer.”

Before Roxy could ask any questions, Principal Rocque walked in. He was clad in his typical ‘90s tracksuit attire and holding a pointer in his hands.

“Welcome to the School of Rocque.” Gustavo sounded very proud.

Next to her, James blurted out, “I don’t like this school!” causing the girl to hit him with her elbow.

“Quiet! You love it!” The large man shouted back. “Because by studying here, you won’t miss out on rehearsal time and recording sessions.”

Thankfully, that didn’t pertain to Roxy. It sounded like she would have more time than ever to write songs, pleasing her.

Their boss continued but the girl chose not to listen. Instead, she opened up her songbook to the first blank page and began absentmindedly drawing music staffs to cover the spread. Admittedly she didn’t have any ideas for a melody yet, but one would definitely come to her if Gustavo was going to stand up front and teach them all day long. When she looked up again, a nerdy man stood in front of the group laughing with Kelly and Gustavo. Introducing himself as Mr. Smitty, she thought he looked kind of familiar but wasn’t able to place where she had seen him before.

Mr. Smitty took the pointing stick from Gustavo as their boss walked out of the room with his talent scout in tow. The five teens exchanged glances as he awkwardly made his way to the chalkboard. Looking back down at her songbook, she tried to come up with even a few notes that would go well together.

“First up, we have probabilities.”

No sweat, Roxanne had covered probabilities in class at the beginning of the semester. Just as she started to get back to writing, their teacher continued.

“As in the probability that this band will fail before its first single is ever released!” Using the pointing stick, he smacked the songbook in front of the girl off the desk she shared with James.

This caused her to jump and do her best to grab onto the desk, but it resulted in her backpack being knocked off as well - contents flying. It was rare that the girl was ever truly mad, but after his rude display of anger and the mocking of the single that she had written she stood up.

“What kind of teacher are you?” she yelled as she made her way around James to the front of the classroom to collect her belongings. “You’re supposed to inspire your students, not make them feel like a load of crap. Don’t trash something we worked extremely hard on just because you're stuck here teaching us.”

She was able to get most of her things back onto the desk before he responded.

“My, my, getting in trouble on the first day of school are we, missy? Talking back to the teacher is extremely disrespectful.” Once again, she ignored her teacher and made her way back around to her seat, seeing the shocked look on her friend’s faces. “Besides, why stand up for boys who are just taking advantage of your songwriting talent for their own gain?”

Uncomfortable silence filled the classroom before Roxy scoffed at the small man in front of her. That was a path she had already been down, and this band was certainly far from taking advantage of her.

“It’s even more disrespectful to think so poorly of my friends, Mr. Smitty.”

Without another word, she pushed past James and walked out of the classroom. There wasn’t really a purpose to what she was doing and she had certainly never fought with one of her teachers before, but everything about him rubbed her the wrong way. Taking a lap around the floor their schoolroom was on, eventually she ended up in a lounge area allowing her to rest her feet and calm her beating heart.

The black, white, and red tones of the walls of Rocque Records allowed her to let her eyes wander over the room and evaluate a space with a black tile she could sit in front of so passersby couldn’t see her through the window pane. Settling in, she pulled her knees up to her chest. What had come over her?

“Roxy?”

From the hall, she heard Logan’s voice. Debating whether or not she wanted to see him right now he called out once again.

“I’m in here., she whispered, and in an instant, he was in the room.

Her friend stood there for a moment, seeing the girl on the ground unsure of what to do.

“I, uh, told Smitty that I was taking a bathroom break,” Logan said, sitting down next to her.

“You really don’t have to worry about me, things just got heated so I ran off.”

“Sure I do. Gotta make sure our assistant is in tip-top shape right? Besides, I can do probabilities in my sleep ”

He laughed at his comment and looked over to his friend.

“I hate his stupid guts, and his stupid plaid shirt, and his stupid suspenders,” the assistant rambled, bringing her hands to her face and breathing out a loud sigh. “And for the record, I know you guys don’t use me, it was just so upsetting to hear him say.”

She could feel the boy relax and he set his hand on her shoulder. “I’m glad that’s a conversation we don’t need to have. I don’t think any of us could even begin to describe how much we appreciate and, quite frankly, need you on our team.”

Patting his hand, the girl stood up. “I’m no good to you if I can only give you one song.”

“Considering it was already better than the one Gustavo wanted to give us, I’m hopeful about your songwriting future.”

Extending her grasp, she helped him up as she internalized his comment. “I think I’m ready to face Mr. Smitty again. How about you?”

With a nod, the pair slowly walked through the halls back to their closet of a classroom.

One of her favorite things about Rocque Records was the posters of past bands signed lining the walkway to the studio, and each time she felt like she noticed something new among the many faces they passed. This time, a poster for a band called Puddle of Boy caught her eye, causing her to examine the group she had never heard of before. Among the four members, one stood out, one who looked an awful lot like the mean teacher waiting back in the classroom.

Wordlessly, she caught Logan’s arm and pointed to Mr. Smitty in a very ugly yellow raincoat, splashing around in the rain and looking about 20 years younger than he currently was.

The boy’s eyes lit up.

Roxy could smell plan.

The two raced back to the classroom and opened the door to find Mr. Smitty in the middle of his math lesson. The teacher didn’t even bat an eye as they walked in and returned to their spots. While they were gone, it appeared that Kendall, James, and Carlos had all switched seats, leaving Roxy next to her rescuer from the morning. There was a simple equation on the board, and the girl did her best to solve it as her deskmate proudly proclaimed the answer was 9.

Mr. Smitty approached Logan, leaning in close enough to make Roxy turn completely around in order to feel more comfortable. Slimy man. In the back of the classroom, she noticed Kendall conversing with the other two as their instructor began to rant.

“You know, I used to be in a boy band once.” He looked very troubled as he brought it up, as if he longed for fame once more.

From the front of the room, the studious boy spoke up, “No way… I thought it was you but I wasn’t sure. You were in Puddle of Boy, weren’t you!”

Catching onto his plan to distract the teacher, the assistant turned around and followed his lead, “You’re kidding! We play your songs all the time in Minnesota! I just adore your band.”

“Do you now?” Mr. Smitty questioned. “Oh, we thought we had it made. Hot songs, flying business class, drinking milk from the carton.”

The older man groaned and the teens exchanged worried glances. If he had gone off on Roxanne earlier, what was he going to do now?

“Let me tell you guys, that that milk goes sour pretty fast,” he continued.

James spoke up, trying to end the teacher’s rant.“I never thought I’d say this, but can we get back to math?”

He hadn’t caught on to the group’s plan just yet, but everyone nodded in agreement waiting for the teacher to stop talking about his failed pop star career. Once again, the girl allowed herself to lose her thoughts in her songbook. She did her best to ignore their jealous teacher as he yelled about dreams being crushed and a thought popped into her head.

New style, different person, changing, transforming, if he had adjusted his look, he’d probably have made it when he was younger. Puddle of Boy is a terrible band name.

Writing most of these phrases and words down in the ideas section of the page, she stared at them until the letters started to scramble. Roxy knew she had something, she just needed to make sense of her notes in order to figure out the right subject for the song. Gustavo would likely need to be consulted.

The song title was on the tip of her tongue and the harder she concentrated, the closer she could feel it.

“Pay attention to the board!”

Screams from her teacher snapped her back to class as he squirted her aggressively in the face with a spray bottle. Logan had to hold her back as she reached for her own water bottle and unscrewed the lid with full intention to pour it all over the angry little man. When she turned to Logan, vengeance ablaze in her eyes, he had to stifle his laughter as her makeup ran down her face.

“Let me splash him! I was seconds away from my new song title and now he’s completely derailed my train of thought!” she whispered. “Where did he even get that spray bottle?”

His hand still covered the opening of the water bottle, “Yeah, but do you really want to cause trouble with Gustavo?”

“I would do literally anything to get out of this class right now.”

Mr. Smitty turned around and hit their desk again as he pointed to the rest of the band.

“Hey, all of you, no talking. All eyes on the board.” He pointed strangely, yet it almost looked like a dance move as he popped his hip out to the side. Repeating himself and pointing a few more times, the little man screamed, “The board! The board!”

Kendall was the first to make a comment, the smug look on his face told his assistant all she needed to know about what was going to happen next.

“Mr. Smitty, do that again.”

Their teacher looked baffled for a moment before he pointed once more, adding a little hip pop to it, “What, this?”

“Did you guys see that?” The blond continued as the five teens let out a chorus of ‘mm-hmms’.

The man at the front of the room did his body-roll-point combination a couple more times, truly getting a feel for the move and trying to look anywhere but there, Roxy was able to catch a glimpse of herself in the reflection off her silver water bottle. Quickly, she pulled some make up wipes from her bag as the boys began to hype Mr. Smitty up. Logan was the next to speak.

“The passion, the snap,” he said as he copied the move in his seat. “You can’t teach that.”

By the time the girl had removed the smudges from her face, Big Time Rush had successfully convinced the teacher that he was the perfect candidate for a German man-band. Though she wasn’t quite sure where the German part - or the man part - came in, she knew that it was her turn to help drive the man out of the class and onto the next international flight.

“Do you have a demo?” Roxanne asked innocently.

Behind her, James backed the girl up, “I bet it’s h-o-t.”

Suddenly shy and timid-sounding, Mr. Smitty looked down at the floor mournfully as he sat down on his desk. “I flung those all into the ocean.”

“As long as you promise not to litter the ocean anymore, I can record you one right now. But first, we’ve got to get you some new clothes and a song. Lucky for you, you’re looking at the world’s best assistant-slash-songwriter! Let’s get going, boys.”

With a flip of her hair, Roxy grabbed her small backpack and set all her items in it before leaving the small room - band and teacher in tow. Avoiding Gustavo’s office, she did her best to recall where the costuming room was. As they walked, she could hear a couple of the band members gassing Mr. Smitty up and James fell into step with her.

“Do you remember where wardrobe is?” she asked her friend desperately.

“Down the stairs and to the left,” he answered. “Isn’t it your job to know that?”

Roxanne rolled her eyes as she looked over to him. “This building is too big.”

Once they reached the door for the stairwell, James opened it for her and the party soon made their way to the costume department. They were met with rows upon rows of beautiful clothing that had all either been used in Rocque Record’s productions or were currently waiting on the racks for their chance to shine.

With a wave of her hand showing off the aisles of hanging clothes, the teen allowed her teacher to run wild and pick out whatever outfit he wanted for his comeback debut. While he was looking, Roxy spotted a cute black headband with a tie at the top scattered with white polka dots and added it to her own outfit.

Mr. Smitty ducked into a changing room and when she turned around to get the boy’s opinions on her headband, they were all spaced out - no doubt having another Palm Woods School fantasy. She admired their dedication to getting removed from the School of Rocque, but if they were able to trick Mr. Smitty like this, the rest of the semester shouldn't be too bad. While they waited, she allowed herself to take a pair of fake pearl earrings from the vanity beside her.

“Did anyone else’s Palm Woods fantasy involve Roxy in a bikini?” James did his best to whisper to the rest of the group once his fantasy scenario slowly dissipated.

As she whipped around to strangle the wannabe, Roxysaw Logan nodding his head to answer James’ question while the other two did their best to hide their laughter; before she could say anything, their teacher emerged from the changing room.

“Pretty snazzy, huh?” the older man gushed as he admired himself in one of the mirrors outside of the changing room.

The rest of the group cringed as they examined his choice of clothing. The red studded leather jacket should’ve been the first clue that his ‘man band’ career would come to a screeching halt the second he left the building. This jacket paired with the bright orange bandana and his tight acid wash jeans held up by a bedazzled black belt did him no favors as the man mentioned running up to the studio. Walking away, all of the teens groaned when they unfortunately noticed the belt was not properly doing its job.

Hesitantly they followed their teacher up one floor and quickly shoved him into Studio B before Gustavo or Kelly could find out about their plan. Mr. Smitty looked right at home as he strutted into the dance room, sneering at all of his employer’s gold records on the wall beside him. Now that they had landed in the booth, it was the writer’s time to shine.

“Okay you three,” Roxanne directed, pointing to Kendall, Carlos and Logan. “I need you to grab a mic, a stand, and the cord that hooks it up to the soundboard in the closet by Gustavo’s office. Three things, three guys. I don’t care who gets what, just get it as quickly and quietly as you can please.”

Without a word, the three ran out of the room in search of what their assistant had asked for. The writer was very thankful she was a quick learner and Gustavo was a shockingly good teacher when it came to setting up the studio for a recording. Going through the motions, she ran through her mental checklist of items he had said were essential for recording music.

“I see you finally decided a little alone time would do us some good.” The remaining boy commented from his chair in front of the soundboard, stretching his arms behind his head as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“James, this is not the time for this.”

“So, is there another time you have in mind?”

“I need you to go teach Smitty your parts of ‘Big Time Rush’. I think your vocal ranges are similar.”

Ignoring the goan that left his lips at her refusal to flirt back, she ran through the checklist again knowing she was missing something, but found it hard to concentrate with the band member in the room.

“Headphones!” Roxanne exclaimed as she remembered the final item as she sped over, reaching up on her tiptoes to the high cabinet on the far wall of the room.

Is Gustavo really that much taller than me? Surely this cabinet is not standard height.

She struggled for a couple more moments before hearing a sigh from the other side of the room. Before she knew it, James was behind her, reaching up and grabbing the five pairs the girl had been going for. Gently taking them down, he dropped them on the table in front of her.

“Whatever you say, Roxy.”

The tall boy walked out of the soundroom and into the studio to join their teacher as Roxy stood stock-still staring at the headphones in front of her.

He’s a chronic flirt, it doesn't mean anything to him.

The alternate door to the sound room opened with a loud creak as the three boys Roxanne had sent off earlier came barreling in - dropping the fruits of their labor all over the black carpet. Just as the songwriter had asked they had found the necessary equipment to record their teacher's demo track.

“Oh, you guys are the best,” the girl breathed as she turned to face them after registering their arrival and sat right down on the floor to begin piecing together the parts and making sure the recording equipment was in place. “Do you all mind helping James in the studio? Smitty only needs about a minute of the song down and I think we can trick him after that.”

Kendall and Carlos nodded, eyeing their friend behind the glass, and rushed into the studio to help their friend - when the door opened she could hear James shouting at the man about his pitch. Logan hung back, observing the girl’s weird position on the floor.

“Is everything okay?”

Roxy looked up at him, cocking her head to the side to ask what he meant.

“You were standing at the counter staring at the headphones when we came in. Did Mr. Smitty say something to you again?”

“Oh,” she replied, looking back down at the microphone she was plugging in. “Everything is fine, I was just zoning out.”

It didn’t look like Logan was convinced, but he didn’t drag the conversation out any longer. With a small wave, he joined the four in the studio.

The five boys slaved away as Roxanne was finishing her set up. Standing, she made sure everything was hooked up to the soundboard and the computer that would produce the single for their teacher. With the flip of a button, the girl was able to turn on the speakers in the soundroom and alert the boys she was ready.

A few more pointers were given to the older man before the four piled into the soundroom, leaving their teacher with a mic to record. Roxy gave a thumbs up, getting a headnod from Smitty in return, and began playing the recording of her own instrumental track of “Big Time Rush”. When it was time for the man to sing nothing could have prepared her for the awful screeching that met her ears through the headphones they were wearing. Even with the boy’s coaching he sounded horrendous. Though he was terrible, he didn’t miss any lines or skip a beat, so there was some semblance of a musician still inside of him.

“It’s the only life you got, so you gotta live it big time- rush!’

When he finally finished, Mr. Smitty knocked himself down over the mic stand and fell as everyone let out a cheer of celebration - for both the end of his singing and for the end of his teachings. Big Time Rush piled into the studio from the soundbooth and congratulated the man, assuring him the recording was just as incredible as he thought it was.

“So good, so good,” Carlos repeated, turning to the window to make a slight gagging motion at Roxy when their teacher wasn’t looking. The girl had just burned a copy of the song into a CD and made her way into the room to join the band.

James choked out some praise, “They are gonna love you in Germany!”

“Jawohl!”

Their teacher laughed at his own terrible German.

“Here’s your super hot demo, Mr. Smitty.” Roxy said as she handed him the track and slotted herself beside Logan and Kendall.

He kissed it as the rest of the boys supplied him with his vacation necessities. A briefcase and a travelmoose.net ticket were all he needed to believe his trip was real and his dream was becoming a reality. It was pretty harsh of them to send him to the little German town, but at least they would have a half day off from school.

Mr. Smitty left with an “auf wiedersehen!” and the teens shared a sigh of relief as they waved and he skipped out the doors of Rocque Records.

Everyone looked to Kendall for their next move. With a smirk, he laid out what he was thinking.

“Now to tell Gustavo our teacher bailed and we need to go to the Palm Woods School and… ah!”

The dramatic boys shared a scream causing the girl to cringe as they turned around and saw their bosses behind them. At this, Kelly shook her head before Gustavo began to explain what would happen next.

“Oh, of course you can go to the Palm Woods School. Now that your teacher has run off to Germany, there’s really no other option except…” He trailed off, tone dripping with sarcasm, and looked each of the teens in the eye before he continued, “...Kelly, get them another teacher!”

Looks of sadness crossed their faces as the two walked off to find someone new and untrickable to continue the School of Rocque.

“Man, we were so close.” Carlos sighed in defeat.

It was time for a new plan.

Still in the studio everyone did their best to brainstorm some new ways to get rid of teachers. Roxanne ran a few scenarios in her head: destroying the classroom, pretending they were all unable to hear, convincing their teacher to take them on a field trip to Malibu beach and then driving off. Nothing seemed clever enough to get them to the Palm Woods School, especially if Kelly and Gustavo were looking for smarter teachers.

After a while, Logan spoke up. “Roxy, is there any way you can get into Gustavo’s office?”

She turned the thought over, trying to remember the times she had visited his office in order to ask for some song advice. From what she could recall, he left it unlocked while he was at work - regardless of if he was in the room or not.

“Yea, it’s open pretty much all day so I could get in there easily.”

Logan’s eyes lit up, flaming with anticipation as he shared his plan with the group.

“Alright, we will distract Gustavo and Kelly,” he said motioning to his bandmates, “while you sneak into the office and grab his car keys. If his car looks anything like it sounds, it’s a gorgeous sports car anyone would do anything to drive. Once we have the keys in our possession we can use that as a bargaining chip.”

Roxy nodded her head and watched as the boys huddled together to figure out what they would do to distract the adults. Taking his car seemed a little extreme, but Gustavo was always bragging about how wealthy he is so getting a new one didn’t seem too far fetched. Besides, if their teacher didn’t take the bait, the keys could easily be returned to his office and their boss would be none the wiser.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself as she walked down the hall to his office. Rounding the corner, she could see the door to the room was closed and hoped he wasn’t in there. Inching closer, in her pocket she could feel her phone buzz once, then twice as she was farther down, signaling the two pairs of band members had found their targets.

Checking around the corners to make sure no one was coming, the girl opened the black door and silently closed it behind her. She had been in his office a few times, but every time she walked in she noticed something new. The company’s namesake had a glass case dedicated to all of his music awards which she would love to examine further but for the sake of the mission she pressed on.

Maybe I’ll be able to get a songwriting award someday. “Best songwriting by a teenage girl”... Is that even a thing?

The girl made a mental note to research that later. From the other side of his office, she noticed an empty key ring beside the door and her heart sank. She was down to two outcomes, he had taken the keys or they were tucked away in his massive black desk.

Making her way over, she noticed that the desktop was clear except for his computer, a couple file folders, and a monthly calendar that had various notes written in every single one of the boxes representing the days. Gustavo was a busy man.

The desktop search yielded no results so she decided to move on to the drawers. Holding her breath as she slid the first drawer open, it seemed as though Lady Luck was shining down on her as the key to his Porsche was the only item in the small compartment.

Pocketing them, she left the office without another sound. Running to the classroom, she was able to meet the boys outside a few minutes later as they waited for their new teacher to arrive.

“I’m the best assistant in the world,” she told them with a smile as she dropped the keys into Logan’s hands.

A moment later, an older woman waddled down the hallway in very conservative clothing. She carried a briefcase and a ruler, indicating to the students that she was their new teacher. Carlos audibly gulped at the sight of her, putting all the teens on edge while they filed into the classroom behind her. Roxy stayed in her unassigned assigned seat in the front left of the room, finding herself next to Kendall. Before Logan sat down he leaned over and dropped the keys into the frontman’s shirt pocket.

With a screech of chalk hitting the board the woman wrote her name, Mrs. Chisdak, and turned around to face the class.

“So… You didn’t like your first teacher?”

Team BTR nodded, worried about her next statement.

She continued, “Well, I didn’t like him either. The moment he felt the heat, he ran for cover. But me? I’m battle-tested. I have a black belt, and I am not afraid to hit you with it. And there is nothing you can say or do to get me to leave.”

What is up with all of these teachers pissing me off today?

Roxanne shifted in her seat, wanting to say something to the callous woman, but bit her tongue in order for the plan her friend had come up with to work.

Beside her, Kendall leaned back and pulled the set of keys out of his pocket.

“Here’s the keys to the Porsche out front. Leave now and it’s yours.”

His smile was kind as he shook the keys around in front of the old matron. Without a second thought she snatched the keys from her student and ran out the door.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen an old woman move that fast.” Roxy reflected as she turned to her friends. “Now what? Do you think that’s enough to get us into the Palm Woods School?”

From behind her, James responded, “Let’s hope so.”

Since the absence of their teacher, the four boys were launched into another Palm Woods fantasy leaving the girl alone with her own thoughts. Laying her head down on the desk in front of her, she closed her eyes and let her mind wander into her own ideal school day.

Just as she imagined sitting down next to Camille and gossiping about the cute young actors in their class, someone let out a scream from down the hallway- pulling her back to reality. There was nothing like a Gustavo Rocque scream, especially one after one of the band’s stupid plans actually worked.

After the noise eventually stopped before the man could wear out his vocal cords, Kelly popped her head into the classroom to check on the uncooperative class.

“You know he’s not going to give up, right?” She warned, referring to their new principal.

Roxy elbowed the boy next to her to get him to say something.

“Kelly, a proper education is very important to us,” all nodding, they turned to her as Kendall continued, “and this is a supply closet!”

Their boss rolled her eyes, motioning to return back to her office before an announcement reached the schoolroom over a P.A. system.

“Attention students. Please report to Principal Rocque’s office. All students to Principal Rocque’s office.”

Quickly gathering their things, the five walked down the hall to meet with Gustavo. When they stepped in they saw the room decorated to the best of the man’s ability to look like a true principal’s office; complete with a shiny red apple, a pencil sharpener, a weird portrait of Dwight D. Eisenhower, and a plaque reading ‘Principal Rocque’.

When he started addressing the class they sat down and she started to zone out. It wasn’t her fault; technically, the boys had coerced her into participating in their shenanigans, even if she did want to join them at the Palm Woods School. The School of Rocque wouldn’t be the end of the world if their teachers weren’t so terrible.

Her songbook was sticking out from one of the pockets of her bag; the writer yearning to figure out the song idea that had popped into her head earlier after their first teacher revealed his boy band past.

Gustavo changed himself into someone different too. He’s fulfilling a role of sorts. If you can even call this one.

The theme of change stuck in her brain as she pulled out the book, glad to find her favorite pen tucked into the cover. Conversation between the band and Gustavo stopped the second their principal saw the notebook. It was hard not to mind everyone stopping just for her sake but she was very appreciative of the silence as she decided on the song topic: a love song about a guy willing to do anything for the girl he likes.

Let me know if I’m getting through,

making you understand

If it’s wrong I’ll try something new

Don’t look away, cause I’m here to stay,

If it’s a game, then I’m gonna play -

Thankful for the long verse she had just written, she sighed and drew out a few music staffs. There was no melody yet, and it was rare for her to write without a tune so for now she just had this small poem waiting to find its musical match.

Whispering an apology, she slid her book back into her bag and twirled her pen around her fingers as she looked back at her boss.

“Gustavo -” Kendall began before he was cut off by the man tapping his name plaque displaying his temporary title. “... Principal Rocque. This school isn’t meeting our social and educational needs. We need to go somewhere that actually feels like a real school.”

“With more girls.” James chimed in, earning a dirty eye from Roxy.

Logan was the next to join, “and field trips.”

“And pie!” Shouted Carlos.

“And teachers who don’t insult us,” their assistant finished.

They all looked towards Principal Rocque, who twisted his face in anger. Roxy ducked back in her chair, fearful of one of his famous screams.

“You go to my school; you play by my rules, and I will find a teacher that will enforce those rules. Now, go to lunch and be back in class in 25 minutes.”

Forlorn, the class migrated to the Rocque Records lounge for their short break, making a quick detour to the studio so Roxy could grab her guitar. Big Time Rush gathered at the large table in the kitchen area, dumping their paper lunch sacks to see what Mrs. Knight had made for them while the girl settled on one of the white couches - determined to figure out the beginnings of a melody for her new song. Opening up her book and reading the lyrics a couple of times normally helped the beginnings of a tune form, but nothing seemed to be coming to her.

After 15 minutes of playing, she decided to join the band at their spot. Taking the seat at the head of the table, she jumped into their conversation about how to get rid of the next teacher. As she was listening to James and Kendall argue about obtaining a beehive, the girl felt a tap on her shoulder and Carlos slid half of his sandwich in front of her.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry, have the rest,” she said as she pushed it back towards him.

“You’re not on some funny Hollywood diet like James, are you?”

Roxanne blinked and looked over to James who, like the other two boys by him, had completely devoured their similar meals made by Mrs. Knight.

“Which one is he on?” She laughed, rolling her eyes. “The yogurt, water, and ham sandwich diet?”

A grin splashed across Carlos’ face as he pointed to the girl excitedly, “So you do know it!”

“We’ve gotta stop letting him read Pop Tiger…” the writer trailed off, flipping to her unfinished work in her book.

Someone else changing who they are for Hollywood. No shortage of that around here.

It was nice to be surrounded by such inspiration, but it was worrying at the same time as she looked over to her friends. They had all made a pact that they would not let Los Angeles change them - something that was not going to happen on Roxy’s watch.

Out of nowhere, a school bell rang signaling to the teens it was time to get back to the classroom.

Kendall groaned as he stood up and grabbed his backpack. “This has gotta be the longest school day of my life. Who do you think Gustavo has in store for us now?”

One by one, they all trudged down the hall to their makeshift classroom, each teen devising their own plan for how to get rid of their next teacher.

Roxy picked her seat first, sitting down in her normal spot in the front left and was fortunate enough to be joined by Logan once again. The room felt even smaller than it did before, possibly due to the instruments their boss shoved into the back of the room during their break. She watched as the door opened, shaking the side wall so hard a drum nearly crashed into James as it fell from the top shelf above his head.

In came their teacher, a tall, extremely muscular man, who had the four drooling around her. She didn’t recognize him, but she could guess he was probably a sports star - a personal trainer or weightlifter perhaps. The girl noted his very nice arms.

There was much to comment about his fashion sense, even Gustavo’s wardrobe team couldn’t come up with something so dorky. He was clad in a button up shirt and tie hanging loose over a bright red pair of bike shorts.

Taking a small piece of chalk, or maybe it was just a normal size that looked very tiny in his hands, he wrote his name on the board.

Mr. Masterpiece

When he turned around to address the class, he let out a guttural scream and ripped open his button up - scaring everyone in the room. Everything seemed to be blown away by the sheer force of his yell, it even pushed Roxy back into Kendall’s desk. When she turned around, he could see the fear in her eyes at the man before them.

“I can’t fight him like I fought Smitty,” the girl whispered to him.

“And I did not see this coming,” he replied, still stunned.

Her classmates all shook their heads at the frontman’s comment, turning their attention back to the front of the room to see what Mr. Masterpiece had in store for them.

The man discarded his ripped up shirt on the teacher’s desk and began the lesson.

“Okay class, let’s get started.”

Roxy pulled out her cell in order to sneak a couple of pictures to send to Camille while Carlos gushed about someone named Chris Masters.

R: Sent a photo

R: Third teacher today!

C: gustavo got you the masterpiece? wish we had celebrity teachers…

R: Gustavo just came over the PA and said Masterpiece is trained to use the masterlock? I don’t even want to know

R: Updates to come

Next to her, Logan tensed in his seat. “Do you think we need gym credits in California?”

The two shared a fearful glance as they looked back over to their teacher who was proudly flexing and showing off for the other boys.

“I believe the key to a sound mind is a healthy body. So throw your books away.”

All the students hesitated.

“Throw your books away!”

For once, Big Time Rush did as they were told and discarded their textbooks and school supplies from their tables. Roxanne elected to gently stack hers on the ground out of kindness for the people on the floor below.

Mr. Masterpiece was very pleased as he scanned the faces of his excited, but terrified, students. After a moment, his eyes landed on Logan who squirmed uncomfortably under the buff man’s gaze.

“You,” their teacher began, shifting his gaze over to the songwriter. “Can I have you sit on top of your desk, please?”

“Sure?” She questioned as she hoisted herself up. With her back to the teacher she criss-crossed her legs and glanced over the room from her new vantage point. Carlos was hanging on to every word their instructor said, while under the cover of Roxanne’s attention the other three were whispering to each other - presumably another plan to get back at their principal.

Their teacher began again, “Now I want you guys to lift your desks.”

Logan let out a nervous laugh as he glared back at Kendall, hoping the blond would remedy their strange situation.

“Lift your desks!” Masterpiece yelled and the boys swiftly raised their tables from the floor. Roxy wobbled a bit as Logan managed to get one side off of the ground. “Now give me 500 desk presses. And Scrawny,” he pointed to the boy in front of her, “ You’re going to give me 600. Count them out!”

Safe to say, the assistant was less than pleased to be used as a human weight. Pained screams came from the band as they lifted their desks and the wrestler began to count. Roxy desperately wanted to help her friend struggling to keep up, but she was afraid their teacher would make her work out too.

Weightlifting just wasn’t her thing.

***

Roxanne awoke to a loud knock on her apartment door.

After yesterday’s desk rep fiasco, their new teacher had set them free for the day, allowing Gustavo to swoop in and continue his infamous ‘Boy Band Boot Camp.’ For the rest of their time at Rocque Records she stood faithfully by with water, towels, and a fully stocked first aid kit just in case someone pushed themselves a little bit too hard.

It was easy to tell the boys were tired of practicing “Big Time Rush” over and over again. They needed a new song as soon as possible, but all of Roxanne’s attempts at writing since her last verse were in vain. Hopefully, Gustavo had a plan to keep the boys engaged in their lessons - buying her enough time to complete her track.

Opening the door, she had to step back as the four exhausted boys came stumbling in. They were unable to make it farther than the carpet of her small living room where they collapsed from exhaustion in one big pile. Team Big Time Rush didn’t have to leave for another 30 minutes yet they were clad in their day clothes and backpacks.

Shockingly punctual, she thought

“Roxannnne!” Carlos pleaded, stretching out her full name as he tried to push James off of him. With a groan the tall boy rolled onto Logan, and the helmet wearer held up a worksheet. “Can I copy your homework?”

“It’s a 500 word personal narrative about the first time you worked out.”

“So?”

“So if you copy mine, it won’t be personal. Write about hockey practice or something,” she suggested as she rummaged around in her backpack for a pencil to loan. The four remained in a pile.

“Can I still see yours for some inspiration?”

When she found what she was looking for she turned around to find Carlos giving her puppy dog eyes from his position on the floor.

“Copy Logan’s.” The writer offered.

The studious boy spoke up, “Copy Kendall’s.”

“Copy James’!” Spat the frontman as he tried and failed to lift himself off the carpet.

James was the first to successfully sit up as he grumbled, “Copy Roxy’s.”

The annoyed assistant glared at the wannabe as she pulled her report out of her bag. Giving it a once over, she deemed it sharable and dropped it over the heap in her living room. “Just make sure you change it enough.”

Roxanne decided that once they got into the Palm Woods School she would actually worry about their education, but for now copying was fine. While Carlos was “writing” his essay, the girl took some time in her room to get ready.

After a quick check in the mirror, she grabbed the headband she had stolen from work yesterday and pushed her hair back. The black and white polka dotted band was a reminder of their first terrible teacher. Examining the piece a bit more, a memory forced itself to the front of her mind.

“Did anyone else’s Palm Woods fantasy involve Roxy in a bikini?”

He is the worst. I would hate to see what’s inside his head -

“That’s it!” She yelled, flinging open the door to see the band scrambling to their feet.

“Rox-” Kendall began and he was quickly shushed by his assistant.

They watched as she tore her bag apart, looking for what they could only assume was her song book. The black leather journal was nowhere to be found and she turned to her friends with wide eyes.

“Not in there?” Logan questioned as he saw her begin to mumble something to herself over and over. He hurriedly scanned the room, unable to find the object. “Find the book,” was all he said to his friends before making his way to the kitchen.

At his command, the band launched into action. Each of them took a different corner of the apartment and scoured it, while Roxy stood by her bedroom door repeating lines over and over again. Her want to help was overwhelming, but she knew if she focused on something else right now she would lose her lyrics.

In the meantime, Carlos offered her the backside of his essay paper and was very disappointed when she shook her head and pushed the sheet back into his chest. A proper explanation and apology was in order later, but for now she kept her thoughts from running.

“Found it!”

Roxanne felt the world turn in slow motion as she watched James slowly pop up from in front of her couch. He held the book high above his head, triumphantly - a goofy smile plastered across his face. One of her couch cushions had been thrown in the air and lazily made its way to the ground behind them as his bandmates huddled around him in celebration. If she had gone to see any of their hockey games back home, she imagined this would be what a winning celebration looked like, but this was just finding a lost object. How could they get so excited over such a little thing? It was wonderful to see her friends so elated, but she needed to get these lyrics out of her head before she could do anything else.

The world returned to the correct pace as she made her way over to where the four were celebrating to collect her book. The lyrics repeated faster as she tried to squeeze her way inside their circle.

“Fight Mountain Aire! Fight Mountain Aire! Fight! Fight! Fight! M! A! H!” The band chanted in unison as they continued jumping around, sticking another tune in their writer's head as she felt the two wrestle in her brain. Though they were normally very good at letting her concentrate, she guessed the weight of their joy caused them to forget the reason for required silence in the first place.

It was only when James felt a small tap on his arm that he recalled why the search was in order. Sheepishly, he turned to Roxy and handed her the songbook, but the smile that stuck on his face earlier remained suggesting he wasn’t all that sorry for his antics.

Flipping to one of the pages that contained the beginnings of her new song, she swiftly pulled her favorite pen out of her bag and scribbled out the lines she was so desperate not to lose.

Something I want so bad,

Know what’s inside your head,

Maybe I can see what you see.

This time, she was lucky enough to connect a guitar riff she had written back in Minnesota that she was dying to use in one of her songs for the talent search - quickly writing down the page it was on so she wouldn't forget later. It wasn’t much, but at least it was more than just one verse on its own.

“The four of you are life savers. I guess it fell in after I got up to go to bed last night…” The writer trailed off as she wiped some of the crumbs from between the cushions off of the cover. When she looked back up, her friends were staring at her book intently, presumably very interested in their next potential song. Before she was able to explain, her band bombarded her with questions.

First, from Logan, “Is that a new song?”

“A new song for us?” Kendall clarified as he tried to glance down to see her notes.

“What’s it about?” Followed James, triumphant look still adorning his features.

At his turn, Carlos scoffed and turned his head up at her book, “Is my paper not good enough for you?”

Roxanne pointed to each boy as she answered his question in the same order they had been asked.

“Yes, hopefully, love, and no.” Giving the last boy a sympathetic look, she continued. “It’s a long story.”

In turn, the helmet wearer made a show out of looking at his watch to find the time. Slowly raising his wrist, he very obviously looked back and forth from the girl to the face of the clock - eliciting a laugh from Kendall.

“I think that’s a story for another time, eh?” The blond suggested as he placed both of his hands on Roxy’s shoulders and began to usher her out of the room, band in tow.

Roxanne detected a little bit of edge in his voice and went to say something, but the moment the elevator doors opened into the lobby BTR were having more than a little trouble standing up. From behind, she watched as they made their way to the lobby door, sack lunches in hand.

“I can’t take another day at the School of Rocque,” Kendall choked out as he grabbed onto Logan to steady himself.

“And I can’t feel my arms!” The shorter boy retorted, pushing the frontman off of him. He wobbled slightly and with a soft thud, his lunch bag hit the floor. The lack of weight and his already off-center balance caused him to slowly tip over, letting out a helpless “Uh oh.”

Before he hit the ground, Roxanne was there slinging his arm around her shoulder and pushing him back up. With a pained exhale and a whole lot of effort she was able to place him in his upright position once more. She expected him to be far lighter, he didn’t really look like an athlete at first glance, but found it incredibly challenging due to his strong hockey build.

“Sorry,” she offered with another puff, still trying to keep him from falling, “that’s on me. For both the sitting-on-your-desk thing and the making-you-frantically-search-for-my-journal thing.”

Opening his mouth in an attempt to respond, Logan was cut off by another annoying school bell sound as Tyler excitedly ran up to the five teens.

“Hey guys!” The redhead greeted with a smile while holding his left hand up, “High five!”

Big Time Rush simultaneously raised their hands in automatic response to the boy’s gesture only to simultaneously groan and slouch over in pain. Still supporting Logan, Roxy slapped the kid on the hand and cringed as it was slightly sticky.

Children. She thought and wiped her hand on her friend’s sleeve.

From behind the pair, James spoke up - the agony in his voice very apparent. “Tyler, what are you so excited about?”

“Miss Collins says we’re having class outside today!” Tyler beamed. He followed the rest of the class outside, revealing the Jennifers walking out behind him.

As always, the three looked perfect while strolling in sync. Tossing a wave to the girl, she returned it and without looking at her band she knew each one of them ate the group’s action thinking it was for them. A Palm Woods School fantasy was definitely swirling in their minds right now.

Roxanne pulled out her phone and checked ScuttleButter to pass the time. Though the app was always full of celebrities fighting or pictures of cute baby animals, it was a great way to take a breather - especially when she needed to kill time during the bands’ frequent daydreams. Right now, she was hooked on a video of a mini horse and dolphin playing together on the edge of a pool. Looping it over and over, it brought her so much joy.

“Come on!” She heard, thinking for a moment the horse actually spoke to the dolphin. Then again. “Come on!”

A snap in her face brought her back to reality.

“Come on!” Kelly said, snapping in the band’s faces as well - slipping them out of their fantasies. “You’re gonna be late for school.”

Stepping forward to follow, the writer was immediately pulled back by Logan. The four quickly recounted their dream scenarios which didn’t interest Roxy in the slightest so she pulled out her phone to watch the enchanting video again.

James posed the question “How are we gonna get rid of Mr. Masterpiece?” but she was already long gone in her video rabbit hole to recall the rest of the conversation.

***

The school day droned on; Mr. Masterpiece not talking about anything except fitness. It sucked, but at least the girl had time to write some more of her song.

“Now, let me jot down something on how fitness and body oil helps build a strong immune system,” their teacher relayed as he flexed his large arms, gaining the girl’s interest. Looking around the room she saw that the boys were oddly interested as well. They looked as if they were clinging onto every word he said and James, who ended up sitting next to her today, even gave a thumbs up as Masterpiece turned around.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Kendall snap his fingers and heard the rustle of a lunch bag from the desk behind her.

“Roxy,” James whispered.

His assistant gave him a quizzical look in response.

“Close your eyes and put your head down for a second.”

He earned another strange look.

“Please?” He offered.

What the hell? The girl speculated but did as she was asked. After she could no longer see, she heard the squirt of a spray bottle and a disgusting, wet plop of something landing on her desk that made her stomach churn. James wretched and she almost looked up to make sure he was alright as Mr. Masterpiece kept repeating ‘woah’ over and over again.

“Awesome!” Came from Carlos in the back, followed by the last two words Roxanne expected to hear today: “Chunky vomit!”

And she decided she heard enough, so she plugged her ears and hoped for the best. Whatever the four had concocted this time might be their saving grace and for their sake, and the sake of her stomach, she hoped it would work. Now without sight or sound, the girl focused on what she could feel from the room around her: James was squirming in his seat and the air around the table the two shared was strangely warm.

Nope, nope, nope. I do not want to know. Think happy thoughts…

The video of the horse and dolphin replayed in her mind for a very long time.

When someone placed their hand on her back, Roxy jumped as her eyes shot open. In her line of sight fell Logan, who looked very annoyed, while in the corner of the room the other three piled out of the room with equally as bothered looks on their faces.

“Meeting with Principal Rocque?” Their assistant guessed.

With a curt nod the boy extended a hand to help her stand as he replied, “Right on the money.”

The two gathered their supplies and walked out of the closet, barely squeezing through the tight door as they tried to walk side by side.

“You know, it’s probably not a good thing we visit the principal’s office every day.” Roxanne joked, glancing over to her friend who had a smile growing on his face.

“Would you believe me if I tell you you’ll get used to it after a while?”

“We have got to get new friends.”

Reaching the door to the office, he opened it for her and the two sat in the remaining seats in front of a fuming Gustavo and Kelly.

Without saying a word, their boss dropped a thick blue book with the ASPA logo proudly presented on the front onto the surface of his desk for the five to see.

“The ASPA official school registry?” Kendall questioned, smirking at his principal.

Kelly leaned in trying to look menacing as Gustavo began to speak, “And it’s filled with every ASPA licensed teacher that I can and will call!”

It was hard to take him seriously with the portrait of a dead president behind him.

“Every time you chase one off, I have 10,000 waiting in the wings,” the man continued, throwing the book across the room.

If Roxanne had better depth perception skills, she might have noticed it was hurtling towards her chest, but before she even had time to register it hit her square in the gut with a smack! sending her straight to the floor. She was too stunned to even get herself back up as she tried to take in the pain silently.

Oh, we are definitely getting into the Palm Woods school now.

“It’s a big book, guys,” Kelly chimed in.

“You play by my rules!” The older man yelled, feeling a sense of achievement over the group of teenagers. “I win! I’m going to laugh and leave victorious now.”

From her angle on the floor, the assistant watched as Gustavo stood up, cackling, and walked out from behind his desk in order to leave the room.

Bad move, Gustavo. What goes around comes around.

Just as he made his way past his subordinate, she stuck the thick book under his foot, causing him to kick it and lose his balance - stumbling all the way to the door. The boys lost it.

“Oops.” Was all she said, trying and nearly failing at holding in a snicker of her own. Once the two adults were fully out of the room she picked herself and the book back up, sitting back down in her chair. The girl deposited the registry in Logan’s lap.

“None of you guys played goalie, huh?” Roxy asked, trying to lighten the mood, only to be met with solemn head shakes from the band. When no one responded, the girl realized they were running out of options for escaping the School of Rocque.

After a moment of silence a conclusion came from James, “Well, I guess we can kiss the Palm Woods School goodbye.”

It wasn’t the decision they wanted, but it was the one they needed to hear.

“Um… maybe not?” The boy next to her ruminated, flipping through the book she had handed him just moments ago. “This isn’t just a list of teachers. It also has the rules every ASPA school needs to follow.”

The teen’s eyes lit up as they all turned to their smart friend who looked extremely pleased with himself.

“I smell brain!” Proclaimed Kendall who held his index finger in the air. “Huddle up!”

Logan was quickly surrounded in a circle, everyone ready to hang onto every last one of his words if it meant getting out of this terrible school and into the school of their dreams.

“According to this, we’re entitled to hot lunches, outdoor breaks, and interscholastic sports programs.”

“Mr. Rocque hasn’t given us even one of those things…” Roxy thought aloud and Carlos echoed, “We didn’t get any of that!”

While Logan was flipping through the pages of student rights, his assistant pulled out one of her notebooks. Nicking the pencil tucked behind Kendall’s ear the girl began keeping track of rule numbers and general summaries in order to be used against their employers later.

Logan went on, “So if Gustavo wants to have a school here-”

“He’s gotta play by these rules.” Finished Kendall.

“I’ve got my work cut out for me…” Roxanne groaned, devising a million plans in her head. Each one resulted in little to no sleep tonight.

***

“Everyone ready?” Roxanne questioned as the five walked into the ground floor of Rocque Records, ready to face the new day. “Studio B is getting transformed as we speak, so make sure to change into your new uniforms after you annoy Gustavo.”

She felt a buzz in her pocket.

“And that means that the rest of our new school spirit line has just arrived as well!”

After an intense session of scanning the ASPA handbook, the teens were able to find more than a handful of rights they were not being provided and devised a plan in order to get them officially kicked out of the School of Rocque. The company credit card the assistant had been given at the beginning of her employment had certainly been put to good use last night.

BTR nodded their heads, more than ready to put their plan into motion, entering the elevator.

Once the doors slid open on their floor, each student darted in a different direction to make sure everything was in place.

See you soon, Palm Woods school!

James and Kendall headed to Studio A where Kelly and Gustavo were busy prepping a new song for their EP. ASPA rule 209 states that all students must have adequate storage for personal belongings, so the night before everyone chucked their dirty laundry into their backpacks to be emptied all over the control room.

While they were doing that, Logan and Carlos were to bring their hockey gear into a few of the staff lounges for some emphasis on that point. And in the event of their teacher showing up before they could act out their game plan, they boys were to tell them that ASPA ensures all teachers 5 sick days and 2 personal days a year and persuade them to use one or the other.

Roxanne hoped the four of them were more than capable of handling their bosses and teacher as she walked past Studio A to Studio B. Since it was around the corner and the walls were soundproofed, along with the opaque doors leading inside this section of Rocque Records, it was easily accessible to the overnight building crew who had fetched the girl’s access badge later last night.

It was Carlos’ idea to put a hockey rink inside the skyscraper that housed their school, but that was far too short notice for the contractors; the group settled on a basketball court instead. A logo was made for their school by a design company featuring an adorable little goat with blue and gold tones then promptly slapped on as t-shirts, sweatshirts, basketball jerseys, and cheerleading uniforms necessary to hand out to the crowd of fans coming for the morning game. She had even managed to arrange a match with the Hopeless Housewives of Los Angeles who, their manager bragged, were undefeated this season.

When she made her way into the room, she nearly didn’t recognize it and her jaw dropped to the floor - the new hardwood floor, that is. The entirety of the room had been gutted and long gone were the soundproof padding and instruments that cluttered the back of the dance hall. Mounted on the wall was a huge electronic scoreboard right above shiny metal bleachers. Scattered across the room were fans from the HH team along with large pieces of paper and art supplies, making signs for their team. Based on the sea of green Hopeless Housewives jerseys, it was not looking good for the goats.

That’s where Roxy came in.

Rushing over to the boxes with the school printed wear, she grabbed the cheerleader outfit she had ordered for herself from the box of Goats jerseys, and quickly changed in the bathrooms down the hall. If the guys could have fun playing the game, why couldn’t she have fun as well?

Damn, I look good. She thought examining the blue pleated skirt and white athletic top proudly displaying the school mascot in the mirror by the sinks.

Buzz

A text from Camille.

C: get kicked out yet?

R: Nope, but almost

R: Sent a photo

R: Look how cute my costume is!

C: <3

C: you’ve gotta let me borrow it for an audition sometime

R: ;)

Making her way back, the girl grabbed a sheet of paper and made a little sign in blue and red lettering to say “GOATS” to paste over the side of the scoreboard that currently said “HOME”.

Okay, she thought, what are we missing? Court, check. Merch, check -

“Goat delivery for Miss Somerset.”

“Baaaaaa!”

Mascot, check.

Slowly, Roxy turned around to see a man in a delivery uniform holding the cutest, fluffiest goat she’d ever seen on a bright red leash. Sure, she loved her friends and wanted them to feel supported with plenty of posters decorating the gym, but now there were more pressing matters: cuddling this goat.

“That’s me,” the girl yelled from across the court, quickly closing the distance between her and the animal. “Thanks for bringing our adorable little mascot!”

The delivery man dropped the leash into her hands and left the gym without another word. She hoped he wouldn't be back to pick the goat up soon, but for now she showed the little guy all the love in the world. And show him love she did, giving him pets and scratches as she completely forgot about the boys until they came running into the studio.

“Roxy… Holy crap…” Carlos trailed off as he took in his new surroundings next to his friends who had equally as shocked looks on their faces. Before she was even able to grab their uniforms for the game, the helmet wearer ran up to his assistant and crushed her in a massive hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“No need for thanks, it’s all part of the job,” the girl choked out, feeling quite suffocated from the boy’s embrace. When he broke the hug, she was able to grab the Goats basketball uniforms from the same box that contained her outfit.

When she looked up at the four as she held their personalized shirts out, James and Logan had a light dusting of pink on their faces and quickly snatched the clothing from the girl before turning away which thoroughly confused her. Nonetheless, she shook it off and directed the band towards the bathrooms to change. They really needed a win today, and the game was about to start.

In the time her team was gone, she was able to tape her sign up on the scoreboard and added a couple of posters to the walls proudly displaying the School of Rocque logo, making sure to keep the goat close. Meanwhile, Kelly and Gustavo hadn’t figured out the game in the studio just yet, but she was quite worried about what would happen when they did. Best case scenario, they get expelled. Worst case scenario, they keep attending school at Rocque Records.

“You have got to tell me how you got a goat on such short notice.” Someone said from behind her as she felt a tug on the leash in the same direction.

Roxy turned around to find Kendall giving the animal a scratch behind the horns. With a chuckle she replied, “Getting the goat was the most impressive part of all this?”

The boy thought for a moment, scanning the court in contemplation. “No, definitely not, but I think Carlos covered our bases of impressedness earlier. Does the little guy have a name?” The blond continued to pet his mascot.

Roxanne shook her head.

He thought aloud, “How about Gus - short for Gustavo?”

“Baaa!” Gus belted, approving Kendall’s choice.

“The Gus seal of approval,” the girl nodded, leading the goat to the side of the quickly filling bleachers. Tying his leash to the side she made a ‘stay’ motion with her hands.

On the scoreboard, the one minute countdown to the game began. Roxanne made her way back to Kendall and grabbed her makeshift pom-poms from her backpack as his three other teammates ran into the gym. He moved to join them, shoes squeaking on the floor.

When she looked over to James and Logan, they were looking at her once again before they noticed and quickly looked anywhere else in the room.

His name slipped out of her mouth before she could even register.

“Hm?” hummed Kendall, halfway across the court.

How are they always able to do that?

Roxanne blinked a few times. “Are James and Logan okay? They were red earlier and now they’re avoiding me.”

The slant-smile forming on his face was all she needed to realize how dumb her question was. Given her current outfit, one she’d never even come close to wearing around them, she should’ve been able to guess sooner.

“Guys always do better with pretty girls cheering for them,” the frontman winked as the clock hit the 30 second mark, walking away once more. “Try not to distract them too much.”

Kendall quickly made his way to the other three who reached their arms out to him, forming a huddle. While they prepared, Roxanne pulled her hair up into pigtails for more of a classic cheerleader look and examined the crowd of people who had flooded the bleachers before the buzzer went off. Not only were all of them wearing green, but she noticed three other cheerleaders on her side. Their green uniforms read “HH” and as their team made it to the middle of the court they began to chant “Win tigers, win!” over and over again, riling the crowd up.

Taking her items, she crossed the court to join the boys on the makeshift home side of the studio. With 10 seconds to go, both teams stepped onto their respective sides of the court. For the tip-off, one of the tall, blonde housewives walked into the middle. From the Goats, she saw Carlos push James out, presumably because he was the tallest of the four.

Though the cheerleaders on the other side were quite loud, Roxy was louder as she mimicked the chant the boys had sang in her living room the other day. “Fight School of Rocque! Fight School of Rock! Fight! Fight! Fight! S! O! R!”

The boys, despite their laser focus on the ball, found smiles growing on their faces at their friend’s support.

From the middle James raised his hand in the air and bent his wrist in a shooting motion, imitating the tip-off and mouthing, “This one’s for you,” at his cheerleader with a wink.

Finally, the countdown hit 0, causing the volunteer referee to throw the ball in the air, leading the duo to jump and try to swat the ball to their side. Team Goats held their breath as James reached up and… missed entirely.

Roxanne shouldn’t have laughed, but to be fair, she also shouldn’t have cheered when the Hopeless Housewives stole the ball from the now very angry boy. Just by the first few seconds of the game, it was clear her band was only good at one sport: hockey.

James somehow managed to set the tone for the rest of the game. Missing the tip-off led to the boys missing every other opportunity they had to score, steal the ball, or even just dribble it without the Housewives making fools out of them. Maybe one person rooting for the boys wasn’t enough, even with home court advantage.

The first time out was called by the opposing team seconds before the buzzer would go off to signal the end of the game - probably out of mercy for the teens. Roxanne watched as they stumbled over to her, stupid smiles still plastered to their faces.

“How can you smile at a time like this?” Their cheerleader practically yelled, throwing her pom poms square into James’ chest. “You’re letting them kick your -”

“Woah, woah,” James caught the accessories. “It’s just a game to piss off Gustavo, remember?”

She looked frantically to the other three who nodded in agreement with their teammate.

“Where can a guy get some water around here?” Carlos interjected, seemingly unaware of the angry heat radiating from Roxy, signaling to her maybe it was time to calm down. They were right, it was just a game - she had never known she had such a competitive nature until James pointed it out.

With a sigh, she rubbed the back of her neck, “Down the hall in front of Gustavo’s office. Prime upsetting our boss territory.”

“Thanks,” the shorter boy gushed and giggled a bit as he continued, “And thanks for cheering for us! None of the cheerleaders at Mountain Aire ever came to our games because they all dated James.”

Logan smacked him upside the head. “Let’s go get some water, you dummy!” When his gaze shifted to the girl, she saw his eyes wander behind her in what she guessed as an attempt to look away from her costume. “Wasn’t there a goat back there?”

Team BTR walked off to the water fountain leaving Roxy in a panicked state looking for her new animal friend.

Her “Gus!” echoed down the long halls of Rocque Records until she finally heard a disembodied “Baaa!” coming from the direction of Gustavo’s office.

Well, he was going to find out sooner than later.

Pressing on, she turned the corner to find her friends huddled around a water fountain in the middle of the corridor facing off against a furious Gustavo and Kelly.

“You are familiar with ASPA’s stance on interscholastic athletics, right?” Kendall’s slant smile appeared again.

“Did you meet our sweet little goat?” Roxy cooed as Gus made his way over to her, rubbing his horns against her leg as she appeared behind the blond boy. “We call him Gus. Gus-tavo!”

From the reddening of his face, everyone could tell their boss was less than pleased with the outcome of today’s school day.

Carlos chimed in after taking a long sip, “Get it?”

Buzz!

The teens turned their heads in the direction of the court as the crowd inside the studio began to cheer even louder for the Hopeless Housewives. It was time to get their head in the game.

Upon hearing this, Gustavo and Kelly booked it to the gym.

”Scale from 1-10, how screwed are we?” Logan murmured as the Goats followed their boss back onto the transformed room.

Standing at the doorway, Gustavo got a slap on the back from each of the boys as they made their way to the playing field and Roxanne squeezed by, dropping her pom poms and Gus’s leash into Kelly’s hands. “Come join me on the other side! Just ignore the fact we’re being terribly beaten by a bunch of middle-aged reality TV stars.”

Kelly’s face of worry slowly shifted into one of relaxation as she turned over the items in her hands, looking back and forth from the large man and the basketball court.

“Oh, what the hell.”

Before the two of them could even blink, the woman was properly dressed in Goat’s attire and standing at the edge of the bleachers with the cheerleader chanting “Go Goats! Go Goats!” in unison.

It was a lost cause, the game barely had 10 seconds left and the boys were down by thirty points but the girls still cheered their heads off, as if the boy’s even stood a chance at winning.

James was sent for the tip off once again while the other three hung back by the basket. The same tall, blonde woman was sent as well, staring daggers into the young boy.

Through all the crowd and commotion, he was able to find Roxanne just as excited as she was for the first part of the game. Another wink, another promise that this tip off “was for her”, and another total miss later the game was soon to be lost.

Gustavo had managed to weasel his way into the game, getting knocked down by one of the housewives and toppling to the ground by the home basket causing the crowd to cringe, but the game went on.

Carlos stole the ball only to have it stolen right back by the blonde woman from the tip off. Everyone held their breath as she dunked the ball, hanging onto the rim and collapsing the unstable hoop that had been installed in the morning right into a brand new drum kit.

A scream came from the older man as Team Goats approached him. It took all of Kelly and Roxy’s strength to lift Gustavo up as he hyperventilated, a terrible look on his face.

Captain of the team and BTR frontman Kendall stepped up, clasping his hand onto his boss’s shoulder. “Sorry, Gustavo. We’ll get ‘em next time.”

Roxanne nudged James, “You’ll actually make a shot for me next time, right?”

The tall boy shifted, angling his head down, “As long as there is a next time. Just make sure you wear the outfit, too.”

Gustavo erupted, “Principal’s office! Now!” before she was able to collect her thoughts enough to respond. For now she held her pom poms up, covering the heat in her cheeks as everyone dragged their feet into his office.

Everyone filed in, taking the same seats as usual, and Roxy made sure to pay attention this time to make sure no large books came hurtling her way. Though this time, the five were looking for the worst possible outcome at whatever the cost.

Principal Rocque tightened his grip on a wooden ruler before slamming it down on his desk. “I am the principal of the school and I do not give in to demands and hooliganistic tactics do not scare me.”

Roxanne looked to Kelly for help, but the woman avoided her gaze.

“Sabotage? Shmoobotage!” The principal continued, “You cannot beat me!”

He placed emphasis on every syllable, causing the teen’s heads to sink lower and lower.

“Now, what you’ve done here cannot and will not go unpunished.”

Please don’t take my credit card, please don’t take my credit card.

“Which is why I hereby expel you!”

Heads raised.

“What?” Came from James. He and Carlos were looking at each other confusedly as the man’s decision set in. “What does that mean?”

Gustavo didn’t have time to explain before Roxanne jumped out of her seat, a smile wiped across her face. “Do you really mean it?”

“It means…” A rude face was made towards the songwriter, “You are hereby kicked out of the School of Rocque! Now get out!”

Logan’s assistant was already pulling him by the arm in an attempt to get him out of his chair, “This is what we wanted! Come on!”

How the boys were still confused, she had no idea but she still had the studious boy’s arm in hers as the team made it into the hallway.

Carlos, still just as confused, held his index finger up outside the closed door. “What just happened?”

“Listen, would you?” The girl whispered, motioning towards the door, “I’m sure it’ll make sense in a moment.”

Kelly’s voice echoed through the thin red and white window panes, “So from now on, I’ll pick them up from the Palm Woods School and bring them here by 12:30?”

Might as well be 1:00 with the way these four are always late. The girl reflected as her friends listened in.

Gustavo’s reply was short and sweet. “Yep.”

The same joy that clouded their features the other day when BTR had found her songbook made an appearance as it finally settled in they would be attending the Palm Woods School. This time, the girl couldn’t help but join in. In their first major battles with Gustavo, the teens had gone toe to toe and won. Maybe the producer was softer than he liked to admit.

***

“There’s no way you guys are this excited about going to school,” Roxanne scoffed as she faced the band standing outside her door, ready to take her to their first day at their new school. “It’s just like Mountain Aire, but more condensed - AKA, more homework.”

This didn’t seem to shake their resolve, she just hoped they weren’t expecting anything crazy. They failed to realize the School of Rocque was terrible as a learning institute because they hadn’t actually learned anything besides how to scheme and trick adults. Hopefully Mrs. Collins, their new teacher, would be kind to them.

A quick ride down the elevator and a trip through the lobby brought them down a tanned hallway leading to the business-like conference rooms where the hotel allowed producers and agents to meet with their clients. At the end, was the door to their classroom.

It was charming, though cramped, but Roxy was just happy to have her own desk as she took a seat next to Camille.

“This is so much better than texting you minute by minute updates!” Her friend mused. “It was the worst 3 hours of my life when Mrs. Collins took my phone away yesterday when we were talking. I thought I was going to die!”

The writer checked over her shoulder seeing the band settling in the row behind the girls. “A text could never compare to watching their stupidity play out in real life.”

Moments later, the Jennifers sat on her other side, taking out their school supplies and textbooks for the day.

Curly haired Jennifer let out a small yelp, turning heads as Carlos pushed into his seat, “Hello, ladies.”

The girls rolled their eyes.

“Okay class,” came a voice from the front of the room as their instructor began the lesson. The new student admired how beautiful her blonde hair was, falling perfectly into big curls around her dainty face. “Let’s start with science. Where we’re gonna talk about water displacement!”

As the woman made her way to the chalkboard beside her, a roar came from the back of the classroom. Turning around ended up being a mistake, as a large gush of water splashed Roxanne in the face.

How the boys decided that ‘water displacement’ was synonymous with ‘water gun fight’ she didn’t know but there they were, standing on top of their rickety desks hollering as they shot bursts of water all around the room.

It was going to be a long semester.

#big time rush #btr #james diamond #james maslow #kendall knight #kendall schmidt #carlos garcia #carlos penavega #logan mitchell #logan henderson #thats all she wrote fic

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lukef · 3 years

Text

strong like a diamond, you can’t break me

Friday 16 April 2021; Morning. You wake like any other morning. Your routine is as normal until you notice new tattoos along your arm.

peaceful. everything is so..peaceful. luke is sitting in his open living room, one or two meters away from his kitchen table, which already has some fruit on it, ready to be sliced into a fruit salad. since the field trip with cassius his mana channels are rough, burned out, barely noticeable and luke is clever enough to not use them more (as if he could, anyways). instead, he’s meditating, for hours and hours. since airang, he has barely left the house, only for a few trips to check up on cassius. his back hasn’t healed fully yet, but it’s getting there. the fire elementalist uses the same method to meditate he’s used for asra, the one his grandfather taught him. his grandfather, he should probably visit him some time soon, he hasn’t seen him in a long-

there’s a small spark, one that emits one of his left finger tips and he looks down immediately, both confused and relieved, just to-

Instead of the Q you drifted asleep inked on your arm, a J is now present. Further down you see the Initials KH and three arrows pointing down. This represents the current state of your favor with Ace Kang Harold, Head of the Academy.

“oh, for fuck’s sake.”

luke looks up, then down again, as if that would remove the disgrace that seemingly appeared over night. the q has become a j, jack of diamonds, definitely not something he likes to see. it’s been years since he’s been at this point, years since he..

there’s not one, not two, but three arrows pointing down, down in the direction of his wrist, in the direction of-

Before you exit your home, a letter is delivered from Ace Harold.

there’s a letter laying right in front of his door, has been slipped through the slit right in time, right before he was about to stand up and get ready for work.

It states: Luke, Your diminished capabilities and standing in society make you unfit to hold such an esteemed position within the illustrious institution that is our Academy. To have its honor marred with one filled with such scandal hurts not only our pride but distracts the pupils we are tasked with nurturing. And what use is a instructor who is now a cautionary tale. Of course, I have always been proud of your work with our students but parents are concerned. I am placing you on a brief suspension, with partial pay. For the time being, you are barred from entering the halls of our Academy. Please use this time to consider the ethics we aim to instil in our pupils and detour the path you’ve taken to becoming a cautionary tale. Sir Harold

“your diminished capabilities? your standing in society? he has got to be kidding me. my standing in society is perfectly fine..!” he’s neither mad nor sad, he’s simply confused. he hasn’t been doing good, obviously, but this is not something he’s expected. luke is a proud queen, was a proud queen, he immediately corrects himself. it’s the stupid scandal, he tells himself, that stupid fucking rumor just because i wanted to help asra. does he regret it? hell fucking no. he hasn’t fully processed the seriousness of the situation yet, hasn’t realized what this means, hasn’t thought of the further consequences this might have.

and then, it happens.

first, there’s ambers in his veins, seething and burning ash right in his core. the temperature rises and rises, gets higher and hire until it’s fire, blazing and destructive fire and it travels higher and higher until it is pulsing underneath his skin. when he finally realizes that he’s not able to let the fire escape, that it’s ebbing out in the burned out mana channels he lets his anger out by punching his kitchen table, hard.

it slowly cracks, until it breaks into two halves, with all the fruit tumbling down and hitting the kitchen floor. he’s barred from entering the academy halls and there’s nothing he can do about it. nothing. and for what reason? for a simple rumor of him sleeping with one of his students - a rumor that was probably spread by glory ass himself, zuihuo juoi. zuihuo fucking joui, his radiance that luke would gladly like to radiate into some glacier in the alps so he can melt them down with his golden fucking fairy whatever. his anger should be directed at harold. and the second he thinks about him-

luke’s grandfather is a man that appears much less older (around 59 he says, around 65 or even older luke says) than his actual age. he’s going to be 151 in october, on october 25 to be exact. fifty years to go, he usually jokes around. like luke has lost his mother, he has lost his daughter only a few weeks ago. he seems to be doing fine, but luke knows for a fact that he just pretends and even he suffers from loosing so many people. “how were you able to forget your wife?” luke once asked him on a cozy evening, to which he simply replied to, “oh, the one that stole your heart better be pretty.” leaving luke exactly with what he expected. nothing. but now, his grandfather carefully reads through the letter luke just handed him. the younger elementalist is nervously prancing through the house (rather, the kitchen), hands crossed behind his back so he doesn’t have to see the new tattoos.

after about fifteen minutes of silence, his grandfather holds a piece of paper in his direction. luke takes it.

“ dear motherfucker kang harold.

i hereby want to inform you that my foot will be going up your ass in meantime grandson parker luke is by all means a very responsible and way more tolerable persona than you are. he would never dare to lay hands on a student unlike you you stupid cunt. especially not ryu asra because that fire elementalist hobo cannot even take care of himself who recently suffered from private issues. given the circumstances with his parents, the suspension is reasonable and more than just good for his health. however, banning him from entering academy territories is unreasonable, especially while his mana channels still aren’t functioning. you’re lucky they are not, or some houses in diamond territory would have been wiped out today. you would have deserved it, stupid stone face stonehenge monkey of an elementalist. i kindly ask you to rethink your decision and you better do because if not, i’m going to-”

the letter takes an abrupt end. luke slowly looks up, a rather concerned luke splattered across his face. “you’re not sending a letter.” going to his grandfather’s house is the first thing he thought of. there’s probably no one else that knows him better, has been with him through all the things he’s been through. he knows how to get him to calm down, knows what gets his fire going in the right direction. “and you’re not asking him for a duel just because of this. i think it’s only a warning for now, a warning to behave like they want me to.” the thought of punching something becomes more and more prominent with every word he says.

“i could-”

“no, grandpa.”

luke still doesn’t know how to feel about the whole situation. it’s a massive change (even if it doesn’t seem like it) and he still hasn’t gotten his fire back. it might take months, weeks, but he hopes for the best. he simply knows one thing, he doesn’t like the change. not at all.

so, he decides to write a letter back.

“ sir harold,

i send this letter regarding yours i received this morning. as an explanation, your wording is what makes me reply in form of this letter.

i wonder how a simple rumor has led to having you think of me as a cautionary tale. i have been working at the academy for years and my grandfather is also no stranger to you. i only heard about the rumor from his radiance, zuihuo joui, at the yeon nen ball for highrankers.

the reason i was met up with asra once offside campus hours is the following: the student was suffering from a heavy depressive episode and completely disregarded classes. i wanted to make sure that neither he or someone else is in danger, given i already had experience with emotional outbursts including fire in my earlier years. after making sure he was fine, i gave him a quick catch up for lessons. i never contacted him with a purpose other than that.

although there is nothing to worry about, i completely understand your reasons and will wait for further instructions in the future. i will stay absent from the academy as long as you want me to.

thank you for letting me clarify, i hope to see you again soon.

best regards,

luke parker”

as soon as he gets his fire back, luke knows what’s going to happen.

fenris is going to happen.

mentioned: @croupiex @zuihuojoui

#* behind the hourglass: solo.#plot drop #oh boy here we go again HES BACK YALL #i'm gonna write something more about his emotional feelings in the next few days after he has fully processed what just happened #i didnt proofread this why would i #submission

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fantasydaydreamers · 4 years

Note

heyo, how do you think class 1a boys would propose to their s/o? - sincerely the ice cream anon 🌺

THESE SCENARIOS WERE SO CUTE TO COME UP WITH- ENJOY!!!!

Kaminari

Before you two ever became a couple, Kaminari had jokingly said that he was going to marry you one day. You laughed it off and he did too but the closer he got to you, the more he reflected on those words. Basically: he never forgot. When he proposes, it's done in the most childish/romantic way you can imagine and it's so fitting that it warms your heart. He covers his hands over your eyes and leads you into your bedroom, instructing you to lay on the bed. Keeping your eyes close, you follow his instructions and feel him lay next to you. "Open." You open your eyes to see glowing stars on the ceiling spelling out, 'Will you marry me?'

→ Kaminari: *whispers* "You probably don't remember, but I said before how I was going to marry you one day, and little did I know you were my soulmate before we were even together. I really love you, (Y/n)...to the moon and back and more than all the stars in the sky."

Kirishima

He's a hopeless romantic when he proposes, but wants to make it fun and memorable. He takes you on a date to the place you first went on a date together and all the other places after that held memorable moments in your relationship. The two of you laugh and recall the special memories at each spot you visit. By the end of the day, you're teary-eyed from all the reminiscing as he leads you to a new spot under a weeping willow tree by a lake lit up by small fairy lights. "Kiri, I don't remember this place...?"

→ Kirishima: "Let's change that, shall we?" *gets down on one knee* "(Y/n), ever since I met you, you changed my life in a way I didn't expect. You've made me a better man. Every day I spend with you makes me feel like I fall in love with you all over again...Will you make me feel like that forever?"

Tokoyami

Tokoyami took you star gazing one night. The two of you were laying out on a blanket, just enjoying being in each other's company and mindlessly staring at the stars. You cuddled closer to him as he tightened the other blanket around you two to block out the cool night wind. Tokoyami shifted and turned to face you, your own awed gaze meeting his nervous one. You smiled warmly at him and leaned in to kiss his beak before nuzzling back into his chest for warmth.

→ Tokoyami: *clears his throat* "(Y/n)? I didn't just bring you out here for stargazing...I wanted to ask you something." *you pull back and peer up at him questioningly* "First, I just want to say I love you. Thank you for accepting me and Dark Shadow both as one and as lovers. I never thought I could find a love as strong as yours and without you, I don't know what I would do." *Dark Shadow appears and pulls your hand out to place something on your finger* "Will you marry me? Us?"

Sero

Sero's inspiration for his proposal was...spiderman. He used his quirk and swung the two around the buildings for a ride before finally stopping on top of a building, facing the outskirts of the city. The amount of adrenaline running through your veins, even after you landed safely on the solid ground made you stumble a bit, Sero catching you gently. The sun was setting over the greenery and you leaned against the edge of the building as Sero wrapped his arms around you, tightly holding you much like he did when the two of you were flying through the air.

→ Sero: "Hey (Y/n), thank you for always trusting me. I hope you know I would never do anything to put you in harm's way but instead hold you close against my chest just like this and whisper in your ear how much I'm thankful for you. Every day with you is a never-ending adventure and one that I don't want to see end anytime soon." *he pulls his arms away, a chill running through you, and reaches behind him to get a box out of his back pocket before putting his arms back around you so you can see and opens the box* "Can we continue our adventure together, (Y/n)?"

Midoriya

He's a nervous mess the whole day so you knew he was up to something. Even when you keep asking him what's wrong, he stutters and changes the subject quickly, thinking you wouldn't notice. Late afternoon, Midoriya took you to the park and paid for one of those paddle boats the two of you control yourselves. Briefly, the distraction was enough for Midoriya, and soon you two were laughing in the middle of the lake as the boat circled often as it drifted further into the trees, entering a hidden grove. Calming down, you sighed and took in your surroundings, noticing how Midoriya got quiet.

→ Midoriya: "U-um...(Y/n)!" *you turn to look at his blushing face as he tried not to squirm and shift the boat* "You're such an incredible women and I couldn't imagine my life without you. Seeing you smile and hearing you laugh makes me feel complete and lucky that I get to see it every day. I promise I'll make you happy for the rest of your life. I-if you'll let me." *pulls out a box and opens it* "Will you marry me, (Y/n)?"

Bakugou

He's so focused the whole day to the point where he comes off as pissed and annoyed. On the inside, he's scared of fucking the moment up or saying something stupid that makes you laugh at him. Bakugou might not be the person to often express his feelings verbally, but he's not going to mess up. He. Will. Not. He takes you to the beach at night where you're surprised with a small lit-up picnic. After the romantic snack, the two of you walk along the shore listening to the crashing waves until Bakugou pulls you to face him, a serious look on his face.

→ Bakugou: *is blushing but serious* "Listen to me (Y/n) because I'm not going to say this again. Ever since you came into my life, you changed everything I thought I knew about relationships and people. I was young and reckless thinking I had the world figured out until you came into my life and changed that." *reaches up to scratch his head* Now I feel so fucking soft and content that sometimes don't feel like myself...anyways. *gets down on one knee, pulling a box from his pocket* "I wouldn't change how I feel now for anything else in the world. Marry me, (Y/n)."

Koda

He's so sweet~ Koda takes you on a date to a butterfly sanctuary. Being with Koda, you have to like animals/bugs, so going somewhere that has them wasn't uncommon. The swirl of butterflies was unbelievably gorgeous as he talked to them and had them flutter around you elegantly. In the midst of you feeling like a princess, Koda drops to one knee. When you turn around to tell Koda how beautiful this is, you see him bashfully looking away as he holds out a ring box to you, a small butterfly-shaped diamond staring at you.

→ Koda: "(Y/n), y-you give me butterflies in every moment we spend together. There's no one else in this entire world who could give me the same effect as you. Please be by my side f-forever!"

Ojiro

Your best friend had shown up one morning and dragged you out of the house so unexpectedly, you didn't have time to think about what was going on. Ojiro kissed you on your way out the door and told you to have fun, not making it seem like much. The two of you spent the whole day out and whenever you reached for your phone to call Oijro, you were dragged into another store. It wasn't until evening your friend's phone rang and they dragged you back home just as fast you didn't have time to blink. Opening the front door about to finally relax and tell Oijro about your strange day, a room with picture attached to floating balloons filled your vision.

→ Ojiro: *walked up to you and pulled you further into the room* "Haha...sorry for getting your friend to help me (Y/n), but I needed to set everything up without you home. These are all my favorite moments with you that we managed to capture in a picture. We have so many more memories that exist, and they're kept alive in our hearts. I want to create so many memories with you this room is filled with balloons." *gets down on one knee* "Will you marry me, (Y/n)?"

Shouji

Shouji is typically a quiet guy so when he proposed, it caught you way off guard. You had no idea what he was planning, and he made sure to pour his heart out to you when he did. He knows how he usually is, so he's aware enough to remind you often how much he loves and cares for you. He had taken you out to a planned dinner date in a gazebo over a lake. It was lit up with fairy lights and the glow reflected on the water, making everything feel magical.

→ Shouji: "I know I'm not one to say how I feel and normally use my actions to show you, but this requires both." *gets down on one knee while pulling out a ring with one hand and holding your hands with the other* "(Y/n), when we first met, you never judged how I looked and even marveled at my quirk. Thank you for that and for letting me open up to you on my own. Your patience is unyielding and your love is indestructible. There is no one else I could see myself with. Will you marry me?"

Sato

You were caught off guard by his proposal. Like usual, Sato is always baking and in the kitchen so when he sets down a beautifully decorated cake in from of you, you thank him and compliment him on how elegant it looks. He doesn't take the cake away, but instead looks away, nervous while scratching the back of his neck with a blush on his face. Silently, he gives you a knife to cut into the cake, only for you to hit a hard object. Confused, you cut around it and pull the slice out, a small cardboard box in the middle of the cake.

→ Sato: *takes the knife back and cuts around the box to remove it* "For the longest time, I never thought there would be someone out there for me. I may be the one with the sugar rush quirk, but you gave me the biggest rush of them all--being with you everyday has made life sweeter." *gets down on one knee and opens the box* "Will you marry me, (Y/n)?"

Todoroki

Todoroki was torn on how he wanted to propose. The idea of taking you to the tallest restaurant in Japan to have dinner over the city lights seemed way to 'pristine' for him, but he likes to spoil you sometimes. But would that be authentic to his personality? Well, you've told him he can be suave sometimes...Todoroki was second-guessing himself non-stop in his head trying to pick the best place to take you. He did finally settle over the high-rise dinner and even got you two a private room that overlooked the city below. Todoroki looked breathtakingly handsome in front of you as he reached out for your hand, brushing his thumb over your knuckles.

→ Todoroki: "...You look beautiful tonight, (Y/n). I admit I debated on how I wanted to do this but seeing you right here in front of me gives me all the confidence in the world." *he brushes his thumb over your ring finger* "You're one of the strongest women I know and seeing you by my side every day never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for accepting my past and loving me wholeheartedly as the person I am today." *picks up a rose from the center of the table, an object falling into his hand* "I'm so deeply in love with you, (Y/n) so will you marry me and be mine forever?"

Iida

Iida has double and tripled checked everything he has planned for the day just to ensure nothing can go wrong. He's so nervous, it's almost like he planned an itinerary on what was going to happen. At first, you're confused because this wasn't like any other date since he was acting all strict and on schedule, but by the time evening rolls around, you have a slight idea of what's going on. The last spot Iida takes you seems to be an endless flower field to watch the sunset. Before you could sit on the blanket you two brought, Iida grabs both of your hands pulling you close to him.

→ Iida: *a deep breath* "(Y/n), thank you for sticking by my side through all these years. Your love and patience impacted me daily and I don't think I could ever truly express how much I love you. This day is a very special one for us and I just wanted to tell you that if a flower grew every time I thought about you, more fields like this would exist. Will you marry me?"

Aoyama

Aoyama had the brilliant idea to set up a mirror maze. As he guided you into the maze wanting to watch you admire yourself (him) and compliment you all the while. You're confused at first not understanding the reason for the sudden task, but it was fun to navigate your way through and watching Aoyama run into a few mirrors himself made you laugh. The lights were changing vibrant colors constantly which made it even more difficult, but it was nice to hear Aoyama shower you with compliments. When you finally reach the end, there was a dinner table set up with rose petals laying everywhere. Turning your head to Aoyama, he's already on one knee.

→ Aoyama: *a small rare blush* "My sweet, caring, beautiful, Mademoiselle! The way I see you is beyond perfection and those mirrors couldn't even scratch the surface of these feelings. I want to cherish every dazzling piece of you for the rest of my life. Will you be my queen?"

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knit-wear-it · 4 years

Text

Drunk Tank

Mood: (Harley x Ledger!Joker) Harley sees the Joker drunk for the first time. A little window into their relationship after the initial high of getting together has passed, and they’re still settling into living together. This period of time is probably the sweet spot for prompts, btw.

Rating: Domestic 💯

Prompt: From Anon, Harley & J get drunk together or one of them reacts to the other getting drunk.

Drunk Tank, a Harlequin-Tumblr-Exclusive

It was mid-October, just a week after Harley and the Joker’s tussle with the Odessa gang, which of course, ended with Harley murdering their leader Boris Kosov via a brick to the skull. What was she supposed to do, let him live?

Black Canary arrived shortly thereafter, and now Harley was sporting three broken fingers on her right hand as a result of the fight that followed. They were taped up and splinted, rendering her remarkably useless. You couldn’t shoot with broken fingers, let alone be effective with a knife or any other kind of weapon. It was a frustrating injury, and made her feel like a liability, her hand tucked in her coat as she stood to the side while the Joker did the busy work.

Being useless was not something Harley Quinn was well-equipped to deal with, making her feel sulky and even a little depressed.

She and the Joker were almost two months into their experiment in togetherness, and Harley was still riding the wave of certainty and freedom that came with giving in to whatever this thing was between them. She couldn’t define it; she just knew it was there, vibrating at some higher frequency, and making her feel invincible.

Invincible until her own physicality got in the way, it seemed.

They were hardly a ‘talking about their feelings’ couple, but Harley sensed he was annoyed with her moodiness over being injured. He didn’t taunt her about it, which Harley interpreted as a choice to not make her feel worse, a genuinely surprising development. Obviously, there was no sympathy, and no attempt to cheer her up. He just wasn’t making it worse.

Over the last few days, she’d taken to hibernating, and he’d been out with increasing frequency. Maybe avoiding her. Maybe he just wanted to be out. Harley wasn’t sure what to make of it.

She knew the Joker better than anyone, and for the most part she could read him like an open book. Especially when things were good — the giddiness of companionship, the thrill of something new and head-spinningly good elevating everything. But they were only human, and things couldn’t always be good. They definitely couldn’t always be new.

That night J was out with Marty, leaving Harley at the safe house to sulk over her broken fingers and indulge in moody thoughts about the Joker losing interest in her. She didn’t really believe it would be that simple, but she was depressed, and it was morbidly satisfying to go to the darker corners of her mind.

It was edging up to 3 AM, and she was in bed watching reruns of Made in the Diamond District on an old laptop missing most of its keys. Ivania Dumas had just thrown a shoe at Bobby Kennedy’s head when Harley heard the loud creak of the window in the living room opening. Her head snapped up at the CRASH that followed, prompting her to jump out of bed and grab the handgun tucked in a holster slung over the headboard.

Harley sidled up to the bedroom door, flicking the safety off her piece and pressing her back against the wall.

Then there was a gruff sing-songy grumbling out in the living room, making her eyes widen as she realized this was no unlucky burglar.

She stepped out of the bedroom and slapped the light on at the wall, a pair of sconces blinking on, dimly illuminating the cramped kitchen and living room area.

The Joker was sitting on the floor beneath the narrow, horizontal window, having apparently rolled through it and fallen to the floor. His legs were splayed out in front of him, his green-stained hair flopping over his forehead, his warpaint mostly wiped away apart from some black clinging to his eyelashes and red staining his lips.

He blinked rapidly under the lights, squinting up at Harley as she drew closer, her brow furrowed, confused.

“Wait-wait,” he slurred, smirking as he stretched both arms up toward her, swaying. “Don’t shoot, officer. I’m uh… I’m innocent.”

He giggled shrilly and Harley’s eyes widened even further as she realized what she was seeing.

“Are you… drunk?” she demanded, incredulous.

The Joker swayed forward, squeezing his eyes shut as he giggled to himself.

Harley set the gun aside on the kitchen counter, unsure how to react. She’d never seen him drunk before, and she’d never been drunk in his presence either. There just wasn’t time for it. Sure, neither of them would turn down a drink, especially after some especially chaotic work, but it was crucial to be present when you were wanted terrorists constantly on the run from the Batman.

“So, I guess you and Marty had some fun?” she asked tentatively, undeniably curious about this development.

“Mmm,” the Joker nodded sluggishly and shrugged out of his coat, leaving it in a puddle on the floor behind him.

Harley watched him try to push himself up twice only to fall on his ass both times. On his third attempt she stepped forward and grabbed him by the elbow, hauling him to his feet.

The Joker promptly lost his balance and staggered forward into Harley. She caught him by the lapels, but he forced her backward, his hands closed around her waist, fisting into her oversized tee shirt. Harley’s back hit the counter separating the tiny kitchen from the living room, her spine striking the edge, sending a fissure of irritation rolling through her.

“Hey!” she yelped, punching him on the arm with her good hand.

But the Joker just chuckled slyly and proceeded to tug her tee shirt up to reveal the black bikini-briefs she wore beneath. Then he swayed backwards, squinting down at them.

“Dawwwwww,” he cooed, sounding disappointed. “You’re wearing… panties.”

Before Harley could respond, his attention had already shifted. He dropped her shirt in favour of sliding both gloved hands into her hair, which was already greasy and wavy. He rocked back on his heels unsteadily as he flexed his fingers against her scalp, zhuzing her hair to make it big and fluffy before he released her to get a look at his work.

“Mmm,” he blinked at her sleepily, and tucked one messy lock of hair behind her ear.

“Wow,” Harley laughed, not knowing how else to respond to this bizarre behaviour.

“Ya know, there was a girl tonight,” the Joker smoothed her hair back from her face, his gloves snagging a few honey blonde strands, as ungentle as ever.

“A girl?” Harley’s eyebrows rose curiously.

“Mm,” he nodded and flapped one hand carelessly. “My uh… animal magnetism is impossible to ignore.”

“Did she tell you that?” Harley fought back a smile.

“Oohhhh,” he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “It was uh, pretty obvious when she climbed into my lap.”

“Really?” Harley pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. “Did she realize who you are?”

“Psshhht,” the Joker hissed through his teeth, which might have meant he had no idea and didn’t care. “But I said… sorry sweetheart,” he slapped a hand over his heart dramatically. “I’m taken.”

“That’s good to hear,” Harley deadpanned, smirking.

“And she said, awwww, is she gonna get jealous.” His eyes grew heavy as he dramatized the retelling. “And I said, kitty-cat my girl don’t do jealous.”

Harley snorted, amused. But he wasn’t done yet.

“And she went, I bet I can make her jealous.” He threaded his fingers into Harley’s hair again, piling it up on top of her head this time. “And I said, honey, you don’t know my girl. She...” He growled quietly, his eyes suddenly intense as they trailed over Harley’s face, making her heart leap. “She’s a real pistol…”

He tipped forward suddenly, ostensibly going in for a kiss, but his nose crashed into Harley’s cheek, his fingers in her hair pulling at her scalp.

“Alright, Casanova,” Harley pushed on his chest and he swayed backward, his hands falling out of her hair. “Are you hungry?”

“Mmmmmmm,” he seemed to confirm with one big lazy nod. Then he yanked her shirt up to get a look at her panties again.

“Hungry for food,” Harley clarified, grinning openly as she pushed him away.

He staggered back, struggling out of his blazer while Harley circled into the kitchen to dig out left-over Caribbean food from the fridge. As she threw it into the microwave, the Joker stumbled into the bedroom, making Harley laugh softly as she listened to him crash into things trying to get undressed. She wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it, except that with his already-microscopic inhibitions lowered, some exceptionally fond feelings for her were floating to the surface of a brain usually concerned with more practical matters.

Harley examined her splinted fingers, the anxiety that she was annoying him with her ‘moodiness’ dissipating. Maybe he had been annoyed, but if this… affection for her was what was beneath that…

Harley sighed, trying not to beam stupidly as she grabbed the food out of the microwave.

She stepped into the bedroom to find the Joker had divested himself of his clothes, and was sprawled out on the bed naked, attempting to light a poorly rolled cigarette with a disposable lighter.

“That’s dignified,” Harley drawled, handing him the box of take out, distracting him from the cigarette, which he promptly threw across the room in favour of the food.

Harley smiled and shook her head, circling to her side of the bed. She slid into the same position she’d been in before her partner staggered home drunk, demanding her attention. Feeling outrageously content, she tapped on the laptop to the episode playing, thinking that even shit-faced, the Joker was still an agent of chaos.

Just a far less threatening variety of it.

Fin

A/N: For the record, the Joker was totally out drinking with Marty to avoid Harley sulking over her broken fingers, haha. This is a perfect little look at their relationship before this weekend’s new chapter of the Pantomime.

Like it, reblog it, leave a note, show me some love 🥰

"Alright, Casanova” 👇 LOL.

#one shot #prompt #the harlequin #the pantomime #the joker #harley quinn #jarley #fluff #domestic #harley x joker #ledger joker

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fanfoolishness · 4 years

Text

getting better all the time (SUF)

Steven confronts the Gems about a test they gave him years ago. Angst and anger and a little hope. One month after ‘I Am My Monster,’ Amethyst POV, 4150 words.

***

Things were… getting better. At least, Amethyst was pretty sure they were.

(They certainly couldn’t get any worse than Steven hunched and glowing on the floor, gasping those terrible things, crumpling, vanishing, swallowed up in a monster so massive he dwarfed the Diamonds —)

But that was over. They’d finally gotten through to him, finally gotten him to realize how much they all loved him. It had been a whole month. He was talking to a human therapist and spending time with the three of them again, and she could see glimmers of the old him coming back. That had to be better, right?

There were times she wasn’t exactly sure, though. Maybe it was normal when humans were stressed, those days where he snapped at them over every little thing and glowed pink and cried, or days when he slept so long Amethyst would have been jealous if it didn’t scare her a little bit. None of the days ended in Steven the monster (he’d looked so scared, somehow, even through the fangs and the roaring voice), so she told herself to stop worrying.

Then again, that’s what she’d told herself before this all happened. I knew. I knew something was wrong.

Like, this, just now, she wasn’t sure about. Steven had come down from his room at a normal time, sleeping in until mid-morning but not until three in the afternoon. He’d had a few jokes for them. He’d made breakfast with her, laughing when she did the old egg-in-the-eyes trick for him. He’d settled in on the couch with a cup of tea instead of bitter black coffee. He had even said yes when Pearl suggested they watch a movie together. He’d picked something silly, Crossroads Jones and the Lost Diadem, a goofy old movie about an archaeologist hunting treasure. Amethyst hadn’t seen it in years. Progress! It was good, right?

So why, an hour into the movie, was Steven sitting there with his hands tightening around his mug until it cracked?

Garnet was the first to notice, of course. Amethyst watched with concern as Garnet gently removed the mug from his hands, getting up and putting it carefully in the sink. “Steven, we don’t have to watch this movie if you don’t want to.”

“Of course I want to,” he said, but his voice sounded weird, and just as he spoke the picture shorted out. He jumped to his feet and turned the TV off, looking embarrassed.

Amethyst gave Pearl a worried look, then turned back to Steven. “You okay there, bud?” she asked.

“Yes, of c --” he started to say. Then an irritated look crossed his face as if he was remembering something. “No,” he said instead.

“Thank you for telling us. Would you like to talk about it?” Pearl asked carefully. Amethyst could tell she was thinking of the house meetings they’d been having, where they’d started trying to hammer out what they could change in their own behavior to help Steven.

One of the rules Steven had given them was Just don’t... corner me. I’ll try to talk more, but I need you guys to give me space sometimes too. Amethyst relaxed as Pearl tried to look casual instead of panicky.

Good job, P.

Steven exhaled heavily. They all stared at him, then realized they were staring at him, then all looked at each other instead. Garnet removed her visor, letting it vanish in a twinkle.

“So… ugh, this is hard,” said Steven. He closed his eyes for a moment. “One of the things I’ve been, um, talking about in therapy… Dr. B’s been trying to encourage me to talk about things when they bother me, instead of pretending I’m fine.”

“We want to listen, Steven,” said Garnet, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, but… sometimes my problem is with you guys?” he said in a rush, not meeting their eyes. Amethyst watched him carefully, trying to figure out how a movie about a nerd hunting treasure had bothered him, and what it had to do with them.

“Dude, that’s okay. Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we really mess up, and if we did, we want to fix it,” said Amethyst. “What did we do this time?”

Steven flinched. “You didn’t do anything today,” he said. “It’s just, the movie -- did that last scene remind you of anything?”

Pearl considered. “Well, the humans were in danger,” she said slowly. “Did that bother you? Like when we would go on missions and they would get too dangerous?” She sighed. “Sometimes I wonder what we were thinking, taking you to some of those places —“

“No, no, that’s not what I mean,” said Steven. “Not exactly. I mean, things were gonna get dangerous at some point no matter what. You guys couldn’t keep me away from Peridot and J— Homeworld stuff, that wasn’t your fault.”

“They were seeking treasure in the movie,” said Garnet, laying a hand over her mouth as she thought. “As you sought our approval. But we failed to give you what you needed —“

“Oh jeez, no,” said Steven, clearly annoyed. “No, it was —“

Amethyst exclaimed, “Oh yeah! They just almost got crushed by a giant rock in a cave! It’s like my room in that test we gave you! Oh man, did you get squished by that thing? I mean, it wasn’t supposed to actually hit you —“ She stopped, remembering that they hadn’t told him about the failsafes.

Steven gave her a pained smile. “Yeah. That’s what it reminded me of, that test. It -- uh, it didn’t go the way you guys thought it did.” He laughed, a nervous sound, and paced around the living room. His feet padded against the floor.

“What do you mean?” asked Pearl, tilting her head. “You did so well. You passed every obstacle --”

Steven shook his head. “You still won’t admit it.” His hands were fists. He slowly opened and closed them, again and again, staring at his palms. He opened his mouth. “I didn’t pass it. One of Garnet’s spikes came down on me. It would have broken some more of my bones, probably — um, I don’t remember if I told you guys, but we found that out at the hospital —“

“Your bones were broken?” Pearl yelped, thunderstruck.

“What? Seriously, what?” Amethyst squawked. “When?”

“Steven!” cried Garnet.

“I don’t know exactly,” said Steven, shrugging uncomfortably. He bit his lip. “I have some guesses? Like any time I actually had a bruise or a cut. I think my gem healed a lot of stuff right as it went down, but anything I actually remember hurting… I think it might have done really serious damage. There were x-rays… my bones have all these old fractures —“

“I’m so sorry,” gasped Garnet. She stopped leaning against the counter and stepped forward, raising her arms to give Steven a hug. He pulled away from her, shaking his head again.

“No, I mean, that stuff is bad, and we should probably talk about that too sometime, but that’s not what I was… it’s not why the mug cracked.” He waved a hand and kept pacing. “Can I just finish saying what I’m trying to say?” There was an edge in his voice, a hardness that made Amethyst wince.

“Sorry,” she said quickly.

“We’ll stop interrupting,” said Pearl, but there were big tears in her eyes. Amethyst nudged her and she wiped them away, trying to smile encouragingly at Steven.

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say — you guys rigged the test. All of it. So it didn’t work at all. That stupid rock chasing the guy in the movie, t just reminded me of that.”

“But you seemed so happy afterward!” Pearl protested.

“Yeah, you were super proud!” Amethyst said, trying to figure out why Steven was so upset. Okay, so maybe he’d realized he couldn’t really mess up the test, but why did that matter?

Garnet looked as confused as Amethyst felt. “I don’t understand,” she murmured. “I saw you passing the test, and becoming more confident in your powers, like we hoped. And you did start becoming improving so much afterwards --”

Steven held up a hand. “Maybe that’s what it looked like? But not for the reason you think. I went over this with Dr. B a week or two ago, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell you guys but I think I have to, or it’s gonna keep bothering me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, sucking in deep breaths through his nose and letting them slowly out through his mouth. “It’s not just that it was rigged.”

“What do you mean?” asked Pearl.

“I sneaked out through the back of the test and made it outside into the temple. I overheard you guys --” He rubbed at his eyes. “You said you were bad at helping me. You said you didn’t know what I needed. That I couldn’t lose my confidence again. And Garnet said there wasn’t anyone like me, that there’s never been ‘anyone or anything like Steven.’”

“Oh, no, Steven, we never meant for you to hear that --” Pearl cried.

“Crap! We were bad at it!” Amethyst swore.

“And -- and I wanted to yell at you, all of you -- I was so mad you gave me another fake test, that you didn’t trust me for real -- that you wouldn’t actually ever let me fail at something --” He was pacing harder, footsteps louder on the wood floor, breathing heavily, a pink flush starting on his cheeks. “But you know what I thought? You know what I realized? I realized that there was something I could do right.”

He laughed a little, but there were tears starting in his eyes. “I realized that I had to take care of you. I couldn’t let you know that I knew. So I pretended -- I lied -- so you would all feel better.”

He sank back down onto the couch, burying his face in his hands, sniffling. “And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. Lying. Telling everyone I was fine. Pretending I never messed up. Because that way, no one would ever have to feel bad because of me.” He let out a long, shuddering sigh. “And we all know how that turned out.” He waved angrily out at the ocean.

For a moment, nobody spoke.

Amethyst stared at the floor. She could see Steven marching out of the final test chamber, his little arms and shoulders stiff, his face frozen. And they’d all been so worried that they’d messed it up again, that they were never going to be able to help him be a Crystal Gem or use his powers, and they had to figure it out. They had to help him. What if Homeworld was coming? How could they protect Steven when it was just the three of them? They had to try and help him get stronger, they had to get him to stop beating himself up. They had to help him use Rose’s powers in case he had to protect himself. But they had no idea how to do it.

She remembered how tense she’d been, how they’d all watched him approach in silence. And he’d suddenly become so happy. The way he talked up each of their parts of the test! The grin on his face, the way his eyes lit up! And Amethyst remembered how proud she’d been. How proud they’d all been, folding him into a sweeping hug, grateful that they’d finally gotten it right.

Except he lied.

“We fucked up,” Amethyst mumbled.

“Amethyst! Language!” Pearl snapped, scandalized. Then her face softened. “Yes. You’re right.”

Garnet sat on the end of the couch, folding her hands together and gazing sadly at Steven. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, I didn’t want you to,” muttered Steven. “I mean… I wish I’d been honest. Maybe it wouldn’t have messed me up so much if I’d just said something. Or if you could admit I failed. Sometimes it was scary, feeling like I could never do anything wrong because I’d disappoint you.”

It echoed in Amethyst’s mind. You all think I’m some kind of angel, but I’m not that kid anymore! She swallowed.

“Steven,” said Pearl, reaching out and gently laying a hand on his shoulder. “You were a child. We should have realized you were upset.”

“We messed up, man. We didn’t know what we were doing,” said Amethyst, leaning against Steven’s other shoulder. He leaned his cheek against hers reluctantly. “Is that why you never wanna tell us when something bothers you?”

Steven snorted. “Well, there’s a lot of reasons, but I guess that’s one of them.” His voice softened. “Like I felt like I had to take care of you. Like I was only good if I could keep you guys from feeling bad.”

“Steven, our feelings are our own,” said Garnet. “They are not your responsibility. You don’t need to protect us anymore. We should have been protecting you all along. Even from ourselves.”

“You’re right. You should have. You didn’t!” he burst out, jumping back to his feet.

They fell back against the couch, staring at him. Crap. That was another one of the rules he’d asked them to follow. Please don’t stare at me if I’m freaking out. It just makes it worse.

Amethyst tried looking out the window, but out the window she could see the ocean, and the ocean was where he’d fought the Cluster, where he’d screamed and nearly poofed them, where he’d cried in the ocean air for an hour afterwards, inconsolable --

“Why did you even want me to live with you?” he shouted, and she forgot her effort not to stare at him when she realized he was flaring pink. It glowed through his skin and hair, but his eyes weren’t diamonds, they were still Steven’s, scared and upset. “You had no idea what to do with me! You were all messed up from Mom dying! Pearl, you almost killed me more than once, Amethyst, you hated yourself so much I think I learned how to do it from you, and Garnet, you made me feel so small all the time -- I love you guys but you have to admit, my childhood was fucked up!”

He stood alone in the middle of the living room, chest heaving, pink hands curled into fists, tears streaming down his face.

“We wanted you to live here because we love you, Steven,” said Pearl, her voice shaking. “We wanted to teach you about your heritage. And we wanted to protect you.”

“I -- I know you love me, that’s not --” His voice was strangled. His hands rose up, fingers twisting into his hair as he grimaced. “Sometimes things were just so hard!” His voice rang through the stillness, a burst of energy that rippled through them all and sent the coffee table shaking, but nothing cracked. He clapped a hand over his mouth, looking panicked, his shoulders heaving.

Amethyst fought back tears of her own. Don’t make it about you, she told herself firmly. You gotta help him! “Steven?”

“Yeah?” he whispered raggedly.

“You’re right. Things sucked sometimes. And you had to go through all of that, and that sucks, too. And you’re mad because sometimes we made things worse, right?”

He nodded, staring at her with wide eyes with his mouth clamped shut.

“This is really hard for you. That’s okay. But is it cool if I do one of your exercises with you?” she asked, getting to her feet. She hoped this was the right thing to do. Steven himself had suggested it a week or two ago, but she didn’t know if it applied now. Hopefully it did.

He laughed, and it was more like a sob. “I -- I guess. Yeah. Okay.”

She took his hands in her own, trying to remember what he’d told them. “Okay, you tell me if we’re doing it right. Deep breath in?”

He took a deep breath, following her lead, and nodded slightly through his tears.

“And deep breath out?”

“Yeah,” he said softly, dropping his head so that it leaned against her own. His hands trembled in hers.

“That feels pretty good, right?” she said, trying to keep her voice strong. “Let’s do it again. Deep breath in….”

She felt a hand on her shoulder, then another on the other side. Garnet and Pearl stood on either side of her and Steven, all of them taking slow, calming breaths.

Steven lifted his head up after a few minutes, his face blotchy but peach-colored again. “You guys aren’t… mad?”

“No, Steven, we aren’t angry,” said Garnet, wiping her eyes. “We wish we’d made different choices, but we’re not upset with you. You spoke a lot of truth. I know I can seem… distant, but I never wanted to be distant from you. I wanted to protect you. I’m sorry.”

“Steven, I’m sorry too,” wept Pearl. “I’m so sorry. I should never have let my pain affect you. I just… I didn’t know what to do after your mother died. It hurt so much to talk about her, and sometimes I made choices I regret because I felt so lost --” She kissed his cheek. “I love you so much, Steven. I wish I had known how to show you that.”

“I mean, I still knew,” he said, giving her a wavering smile. “And you haven’t done anything dangerous with me in years. Unless you count Steven Tag.”

“We did go a little all-in on that, didn’t we?” Pearl mused, her tears slowing. She wiped them from her eyes, gazing fondly at him.

“It was fun, though,” he admitted. “It’s not like everything was bad, you know? It just feels that way sometimes. Especially now that I’m finally trying to figure things out in my own head. All the bad stuff feels so big it kinda overpowers everything else right now.”

“We want to help you,” said Garnet. “Even if it’s difficult for us to hear. You deserve to be able to share your feelings with us.”

“Even if it hurts,” said Pearl.

“I’m sorry, Ste-man,” said Amethyst, flinging her arms around his waist. It was still hard to believe sometimes how tall he’d gotten. “I know I had my issues. I’m sorry I let them be yours, too.”

He ruffled her hair with one hand, sighing. “Thanks. All of you.”

“How are you?” asked Pearl.

Amethyst lifted her head up from his chest, gazing up at him. Steven looked exhausted now, wiped out the way she was starting to get used to after moments like this. Moments. Fights. Venting. She wasn’t sure what to call it.

“Tired,” he said. His eyes were puffy. “I’m sor--” Another deep breath. “I’m not supposed to keep apologizing,” he said quietly. “At least not for everything. Dr. B was very clear on that.” He considered. “I’m sorry for yelling. But I’m not sorry for telling you guys why I was upset.”

“Good,” said Amethyst. “Apologizing too much isn’t healthy.”

“Pfft, you never apologize,” he chuckled.

“Dude! Did I not just apologize two seconds ago?” Amethyst cried, pretending to be mortally offended with a hand over her chest in her best Pearl impression.

“Okay, okay,” said Steven. He jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, then looked around at each of them in turn. “Are you guys… How are you guys?”

“You said something that needed to be said,” said Garnet. “I’m disappointed in myself, and I regret how our mistakes have affected you. But those feelings are for me to worry about, not you, Steven.” She brandished a double thumbs up at him.

“I’m sorry you were carrying around that secret for so long,” said Pearl. “We were trying so hard, and I wish -- I wish we’d done things differently. And I wish you hadn’t overheard us.”

“I’m fine,” said Amethyst. She suspected she might go into the temple later and scream her head off at how badly they’d apparently messed Steven up with that one day, a day she used to be proud of. But that was for her to deal with, and Steven to find out about never. Though what if that was part of the problem? Argh.

She amended, “I mean, I’m super bummed that our test backfired and made you feel like you couldn’t talk to us. Of course I am. And it sucks that it hurt you bad enough that a stupid movie brings all of that back for you and makes you frea-- makes you so upset.” Her words weren’t coming out right. Why was it so hard to say exactly what she felt?

She gave up and tapped Steven square in the chest. “So what do you want to do now?”

“I guess we could see how the movie ends,” said Steven, wiping his eyes. “Might as well. We’ve made it this far and it can’t be any worse than the CPH reboot.”

“Would you like some cocoa? I can make some for you,” said Pearl cheerfully, though her smile was a little too wide to be entirely genuine.

“Sure,” said Steven. He shook himself free of them and flopped back on the couch, turning the TV back on. The static was gone, the picture crisp and clear.

The movie wasn’t complicated. It was loud and ridiculous and there were too many silly stunts that humans definitely couldn’t perform on their own. It was exactly the sort of thing that was her favorite, and yet she couldn’t focus on it.

She just kept glancing up at Steven out of the corner of her eye, watching him sipping his cocoa, watching him to see if he’d really said what he needed to say. But every time she did so she fought multiple versions of him, images of younger Steven telling them, again and again, not to worry about him; images of the Steven of a month ago, glowing pink, taller than Garnet, insisting shrilly he was fine, he was fine, everything was fine; images of Steven in the temple surrounded by star-shaped balloons, his smile so wide and happy and fake.

They’d really hurt him.

More than once.

And she didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to fix things that had happened years ago, how to make up for all her flaws and Pearl’s and Garnet’s and Rose’s. All she knew was that Steven was heading into human adulthood with -- what did humans call it -- scars, scars that ran through his brain like they apparently did through his bones, and she was part of the reason why.

So she curled up against him and poked him in the side to make him laugh and fetched him more cocoa when the mug ran low. He giggled when she poked him and laughed uproariously when Crossroads Jones ran into a pit of weasels. But the rest of the time he watched the movie with little shadows under his eyes, a puffiness that hadn’t been there earlier this morning.

The movie ended, credits rolling to bombastic music as bloopers played.

“That was… a movie,” said Garnet.

“It was incredibly historically inaccurate,” said Pearl. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“It’s an action movie, P, they’re not supposed to be like real history,” said Amethyst.

“It was all right,” said Steven. “Even with… you know.” He dropped his gaze. “Thanks for listening, guys.”

“How are you feeling these days? Overall?” asked Amethyst.

She wondered what he would say. Fine! Things are so much better! I’ll be back to normal in no time! She ached, thinking of him squashing everything down again, pretending for their sake and his own.

Steven shrugged, quirking his mouth to one side as he thought about his answer. “Some days are pretty good,” he said. “Sometimes I feel like my old self again. But some days are still so hard I -- I get scared it’s going to be like that day last month. Like I’m gonna explode again into something I can’t control.” He shivered. “But most days are like… this. With parts that suck. And parts that are pretty okay. I dunno.”

“You know what I think?” asked Amethyst.

“What?”

“You just told us things are less than good. You yelled at us about something we screwed up, and yeah, it sucked to hear it, but we got it out in the open. And you’re not pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t,” she said.

Pearl and Garnet smiled at him. He didn’t return the gesture, looking confused. “So?”

“I dunno, man. To me, that seems like you’re getting better, even when it doesn’t always look like it. And hopefully… we’re getting a little bit better at helping you.”

Steven raised his eyebrows, then smiled slightly. “Huh,” he said. “I guess that’s not so bad.”

“We love you so much, Steven.”

“All of us.”

“And don’t you forget it,” said Amethyst, hugging him tightly.

He sighed contentedly, hugging her back. “Love you guys.”

She sank against him in relief. Yeah. Things were getting a little better, all the time.

#suf #steven universe #steven universe future #amethyst su #steven universe fanfic #fanfoolishness' steven universe fic #fanfoolishness steven universe fic #it was an interesting challenge to show both steven and the gems improving #but there's still some problems in how they communicate #and that will always be true to some extent #but hopefully they can all keep getting better

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