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#super sketchy but i just wanted to get it out </3

babyjakes · 5 months

Text

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | sex shop

pairing | sex shop owner!andy barber x innocent!reader

warnings | age gap (reader sees andy as a total dilf.) reader is very innocent and also so scared to be there (understandably.) soft!andy, comforting vibes, he talks her through everything. humiliation kink is strong in this one. no real smut, just suggestive themes (sex shop, toys, talks of solo and guided masturbation.)

word count | 987

an | this little story is dedicated to andy's #1 girl, @worksby-d 🥺 dest i super hope you enjoy our favorite dilf here!! i tried to make him the big warm teddy bear we know and love, with a little hint of naughtiness shining through at the end hehe <3 happy holidays to you friend!!

imagine going to a sex shop for the very first time, aalllll by yourself, and meeting a very handsome dilf who helps you pick out your very first big girl toy 😏

parking as far away as possible (it’s at the end of a little strip mall in a tiny little town you’ve never been to before, you wanted to make sure you wouldn’t bump into anyone you knew!) spending like 10 minutes just sitting in your car hyping yourself up, you’re so nervous but you’ve wanted to do this for so long 🥺

eventually you build up your courage and make your way up the parking lot, to the front door of the place. a little silvery bell rings as you enter. you’re surprised at how clean and neat the place is. you weren’t sure what to expect, but this is better than you had been hoping. it’s not too big, a single large room with a counter in the middle. at first glance, you're alone, no other customers or employees in sight

the store has different sections with hanging signs directing you where to go. you can feel heat rising in your cheeks as you pass the racks of lingerie and intimates. just as you make it over to the toys for her section, you hear something from across the little shop. looking over, you see someone has entered through a doorway in the back. a man, but you don’t get too long of a look. your eyes quickly drop to the ground as you feel your embarrassment worsening

please don’t come over here. please don’t come over here. please don’t-

your silent prayers are ignored as footsteps approach. you take a step back from the wall of products, forcing yourself to look up at the stranger. your jaw almost drops at the sight of him, oh god, you’re thinking to yourself, why is he hot 😭

there andy stands in all of his glory, the epitome of dilfy deliciousness with his worn navy t-shirt and scruffy beard. scratching his head a bit awkwardly, he greets you, “hey, sorry. didn’t meant to startle you. can i help you find anything?”

your heart’s pounding in your throat as you look around stupidly before your eyes return to the absolute unit of a man before you. you blink like a deer in the headlights. oh my god. he works here, you’re a little slow to put things together

andy sees your surprise, letting out a gentle chuckle. “i’m the owner,” he explains. “you okay, honey? you look like you’ve seen a ghost”

a part of you knows this is an extremely sketchy situation. you’re alone in a sex shop with a dude probably twice your age (who apparently owns the place), out in a town you can’t remember the name of, with nothing to defend yourself except your two bare hands (which are now shaking)

but there’s something about the man before you that you just find so… warm? disarming? (…attractive? 😳) the gentle smile on his face, the way he softens his voice when he senses your nervousness...

you’re a little ball of conflicting feelings, half nerves and half head-over-heels for this unknown man. again, you blink, unable to find your voice to respond

“you’re alright, just take it easy,” he tries to help you relax. “this your first time in a place like this?” all you can manage is a nod. he gives you an understanding smile, “that’s perfectly fine. i’m here to help. can you tell me what you’re looking for, sweetheart?”

your eyes glance quickly back at the wall of toys in front of you before returning to him. he must see the increasing humiliation on your face. “u-um…” you’re finally able to stutter, “i-i don’t… i’m not… i guess i'm…”

he’s so patient and attentive it’s only making the butterflies in your tummy worse 😭 “not sure where to start?” he finishes for you. when you nod, he hums thoughtfully, “that’s okay, honey. do you have anything already that you like? is this for you to use on your own?"

you grit your teeth, nodding through the waves of embarrassment. “d-don’t have anything, sir. looking for something to start out with”

“i see,” he nods, looking over the selection on the wall before the two of you. “a bullet is a great beginner toy. simple, quiet, different levels of intensity to fit your needs. do you like clitoral stimulation?”

you have to fight yourself to keep from rubbing your thighs together right then and there 😩 something about the way he’s talking you through everything is sooo 🥲🥲 a feeling of dread hits as you realize you’re already getting wet

you force out a nod. he looks at a few options before picking out a small, discreet box. offering it to you, he explains, “this one’s my favorite. it’s nice and smooth, hard to hurt yourself with. rechargeable, medical-grade silicon. six levels of intensity. and the pink matches your nails,” he says sweetly, nodding at the shiny polish on the tips of your fingers

you clumsily accept the box, looking it over briefly. “there are instructions on the inside. the internet can be helpful too,” he suggests. the burning in your tummy worsens as he sees right through you, sniffing your complete innocence and inexperience with ease

“o-okay. this looks good. thank you,” you agree

“of course,” he nods with a sheepish smile. “once you get comfortable with that, we can work you up to something more sophisticated” you never implied that you’d be returning to him, but now that he’s said it, you know you couldn’t refuse. “and if you have any trouble, you can always come see me. i got a room in the back, we can take some time and find what works for you”

i might have to write that follow-up visit someday this is making me 🫠🫠

#eun's writing #kinkmas 2023 #andy barber #andy barber smut #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber headcanon #andy barber drabble #andy barber blurb #andy barber imagine #andy barber x you #andy barber x reader #andy barber x y/n #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut

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gold-dustwomxn · 5 months

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mystified

part 2

summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

each chapter will have their own warnings please read them! eventual smut

cw: mentions of child abuse and implication of attempted sexual assault (does not go into detail for either), panic attack

fluff and angst

light rocking against your shoulder and a distant call of your name pulls you from your deep slumber making you groan, not conscious enough to take in where you are. “hey sleepyhead, wake up.” ellie’s raspy whisper has you cracking one eye open. you’re too tired to even speak or think coherently, making you hum in question.

ellie chuckles and looks at you for a moment before speaking. “sorry to wake you up so early.. I gotta be at the construction site in an hour.” you blink away your remnants of sleep and realize ellie has damp hair, is fully dressed for the day and the sun isn’t even up yet. “it’s okay. sorry I fell asleep here I didn’t even realize.” she smiles softly, “no worries, I don’t mind. you looked pretty comfy..I can drive you home on my way to work.”

the short drive to your house shares a peaceful, comfortable silence between you and ellie. the sky painting a breathtaking winter sunrise of pinks and purple. ellie pulls up to your house way too quickly for your liking, the small disappointment of having to part ways felt in your chest.

“thanks for the ride and letting me crash at your place.. I had fun last night.”

“me too,” she smiles and you feel that warmth settle deep in your stomach again. it’s a rarity to see her full smile “it’s no problem, really.. are you busy tonight?”

“no, I don’t think I have anything going on.” you know you don’t actually have anything going on. you bite the inside of your cheek to try to suppress a smile, but ellie looks between your eyes and down at your mouth and smirks at you. caught.

“well, if you’re not busy later you wanna hang out? I get off at 3, we can go to a cafe or something.” she clears her throat and you can see how physically painful this is for her. she forces herself to keep eye contact though.

you giggle and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, unspoken words and body language received between the both of you. “yeah, I’m down. just text me when you get off.”

“alright cool I can pick you up. see you later, ___.”

me: DINA wake the fuck up!!!!!

dina🤍: bitch its literally 7am why tf are u disturbing me

me: wow. anyway! last night I was walking to ur house and some creepy dude pulls up next to me asking me for directions and shit acting super sketchy. ellie pulls up out of nowhere and goes all psycho ellie mode and pulls out a fucking switchblade. I was like 😦 but it was also so hot. he skids off and she gets pics of his plates and we go back to her place for joel to deal with it. he thinks the cops can keep an eye out for that car and see if that guy has anything to do with the assaults happening. it was lowkey really scary but I’m okay. we ended up smoking and talking for hours and it was literally perfect and then we ended up falling asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night laying ON HER CHEST with her arm around me. we’re hanging out again tonight

dina🤍: wtf that’s so fucking scary! im glad ur okay:( but ommg im so excited for u angel. its ab damn time some moves are made and we can go on double dates tg hehe

me: ok let’s not get ahead of ourselves here we’ll see what happens. that’s all I wanted to tell u. ur allowed to go back to sleep now:)

dina🤍: wow how gracious of u. lmk how everything goes though <33

clothes are strewn all over your bed and floor, while you frantically try to find a cute outfit to wear. it’s fine, it’s just ellie. she’s seen you a million times since you were both 14. you finally settle on a pair of jeans and a black sweater, with your chelsea doc martens. good enough.

ellie🌿🗡️: Hey, I’m outside whenever you’re ready.

me: be right there!

okay, just breathe. everything’s fine!

as you hop into the passenger seat, ellie looks you up and down. “you look good.” you give her a shy smile and observe her; hair tied half up, in a dark green flannel with an oversized black denim jacket, black jeans with her usual pair of converse, multiple rings on her long fingers, and the scent of her woodsy cologne. “thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” she smiles and shakes her head, pulling out of your driveway.

“yeah, he almost dropped a whole fucking plank of wood on my head today!”

you start laughing, walking out of the coffee shop together. “maybe the hit would’ve done you good, ellie. you are very hard headed.” ellie’s jaw drops “wow, someone’s feisty today, huh?” you smile and roll your eyes, going to shove her and she catches your wrist, pulling you close to her. your breath hitches and you look down at her lips. something behind you catches ellie’s attention, her smile dropping instantly and face turning ghostly pale.

“ellie? what’s wrong?” she grabs your hand and walks you quickly to the car, opening your door to make sure you get in first before frantically hopping into her seat and speeding out of the parking lot.

“hey, what’s going on?” she shakes her head and doesn’t respond, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, eyebrows scrunched together.

the speed of her driving and her concerning behavior is stressing you the fuck out. she pulls up to her house and lets you both in before she runs up the stairs to the bathroom, whipping the door shut with a loud slam.

you slowly walk up the stairs, not knowing whether or not to give her privacy. you suddenly hear her crying and hyperventilating. “ellie, I’m coming in.”

ellie is seated on the floor next to the tub with her head between her legs, forearms laid on her knees. “hey, hey I’m here. can I touch you?” she nods and you gently take her hand, softly rubbing the back of her palm while you place her other hand against your chest. “try to follow my breathing, okay?” you take slow, deep breaths for her to follow until she calms down.

“I’m sorry.” she avoids looking at you. “no, I’m here for you, okay? you don’t have to hide from me.” she wipes the rest of her tears from her eyes and nods. you move to sit next to her and gently rub her back, still holding her hand.

“do you wanna talk about it?” she clears her throat and looks straight ahead. “I uh… saw one of my old foster parents. he was pretty fucked up,” she lets out a dry laugh. “thought I was over it but I didn’t expect to see him.”

“what did he do?” she looks at you in contemplation before looking away with a cold, steely gaze. she sniffs and nods, “he… used to beat the shit out of me all the time for no reason.” she looks down at her scarred tattoo and rubs the skin. “this burn… he tried to-“ she clenches her jaw and shakes her head. “anyway, I managed to get away before he did anything, but I ended up burning my arm on the stove in the midst of it all. tried to press charges but that didn’t work, big shocker,” she scoffs. “I ran away and refused to go back so they placed me with joel and he eventually adopted me.”

she looks back up at you, trying to gauge what you’re thinking. you don’t realize you’re crying until she wipes away a tear from your cheek. “hey, don’t cry it was a long time ago I was just… not prepared for all of that.”

“sorry, I just hate that you had to go through all of that, especially at such a young age.” she lets out a deep breath and nods. “sorry our date got ruined” she gives you a sad smile.

“it wasn’t,” you squeeze her hand “I had a good time and I’m just glad I was able to be here with you.” you look up in thought, “do you have brownie mix?” she looks at you in confusion and lets out a small laugh “uh, I dunno, why?” “whenever I’m sad or going through something, I like to bake because it gives me something to do to take my mind off of everything and brownies are fucking good.” you nod with conviction. ellie laughs, “you are so fucking cute. c’mon let’s go see if I have some brownie mix.”

as you mix the chocolatey batter, and hum to the song playing on the speaker, ellie leans against the counter and watches you. she loves the domesticity and warmth you surround her with, and you were right, doing all of this is making her feel better.

“are you just gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna help?” “nah I think I’m good right here” she smirks at you. you nod slowly and look at her with mischief, holding up the spoon. her eyes widen and she points her finger at you, “don’t you fucking dare.”

you chase ellie around the kitchen island, out of breath from laughing and she ends up slipping on her sock, grabbing onto the counter for balance. as you run up to her and try to smear the batter on her face, she grabs your arm. you struggle against her, making you trip over her leg and she catches you, wrapping her arms around your waist. both of your laughters fade into small smiles as both of your eyes trails to each other’s lips. ellie’s face becomes serious as she leans in, lips ghosting yours. the sound of the front door opening has you both abruptly backing away from each other. fucking joel.

“hey kiddo, what are y’all up to?” ellie’s face is beet red and she clears her throat, “just making some brownies. why are you home?” ellie’s voice holds a bit of an edge to it.

“well, damn, I’ll get outta your hair in a minute, just stoppin’ by, forgot to pack my dinner.” she hums in annoyance. your eyes widen at the tension ellie is radiating.

“joel! my parents wanted me to give this to you as a thanks for the free self defense lesson, and for helping me out yesterday.” you open up your bag and take out a bottle of whiskey. ellie’s brows furrow, oops you forgot to tell her.

joel holds the bottle at a downward angle “would’ya look at that.. I’ll be sure to send my thanks to them.” he walks to the fridge and grabs out a container. “alright I’m headin’ out,” he looks at ellie “do me a favor, don’t burn the house down.” she groans and rolls her eyes.

“mm, these brownies are fucking good. you were right after all.” you scoff and smack her arm, “of course I was right. don’t ever doubt me again.” ellie rolls her eyes, “yes ma’am,” she quips sarcastically. “now, pay attention, this is my favorite part of the movie,” you say with feigned sternness. she smiles and nods, finishing off her brownie and leans back into her pillows.

you rest your head on her shoulder and place your hand on her stomach, tracing small patterns. you look up at her and whisper, “ellie?”

“hm?”

“do you really feel okay now?”

she turns her head to the side to look at you, face only inches away, and nods slowly. you feel her breath ghosting your lips and your heart starts racing, chest rising up and down quickly. ellie parts her mouth and licks her lips, leaning in, kissing you softly. she pulls away to look at you, before sitting up and grabbing your face, deepening the kiss.

HA sorry to edge u all. things are gonna get spicy as fuck in the next chapter. interactions are much appreciated 💗

taglist: @me-and-your-husband @fireflyels

#emmysfics #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie tlou #ellie tlou2 #ellie the last of us #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fanfic #tlou ellie #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x f!reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader

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critterbitter · 3 months

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I finally got all my brain ducks into enough of a row to send this! I just wanted to say that Tumblr recommended your art to me on a whim, and I am actually OBSESSED now lol. I had no prior investment in Submas or anything tangentially related to it prior to this (aside from liking Pokémon generally lol), but I couldn’t help but tear through everything you’ve drawn for these silly little rat children and I love them so much now!!! I wanna pick them up and shake him around like little action figures! The shenanigans and the heartfelt moments are just,, UGH so good! I have no words! Thank you for the food I am going FERAL over them <3

Your art is also high key goals for me now tbh. I absolutely ADORE your coloring and rendering style, and also they way you draw Pokémon in general?? Very animalistic but still recognizably Pokémon?? Literally galaxy brained. I’m going to SCREAM. I know you already posted a bit of your art process, but I’d love to know if you’ve got any rendering tips and/or how you get that clean but sketchy look. It looks so good I want to eat it lol.

(Also I really love the way you’ve been formatting Elesa’s dialog, with the extra lines around the letters. It really gives the vibe that her grasp on Galarian is currently shaky at best and idk, I like that you’ve managed to find a way to convey that over text. I think that’s pretty cool :D)

I SAW YOU REBLOG A WHOLE BUNCH AND IM,,, (throwing hearts at you)

Thank you so so much! I’m glad you love these terrible little guys wandering Unova just as much as I do, haha!

As a treat, lemme pull out some drafting for the mini illustrations. I usually start every snapshot with a run down of what I remember from the area, possible shenanigans encountered, and then a doodle of ideas to come.

From there, it’s a SUPER rough sketch, followed by lineart and rough color, and then cleanup!

(More thumbs and their finals below!)

At the end of the day, all my lines are VERY sketchy. I’m a lot stronger when it comes to mashing colors. That, and if you set your line layer from normal to multiply, the lines will always be automatically darker then whatever layer is placed underneath. It’s a trick used quite a bit for placing cel shadows in animation, but it’s useful for lineart in a pinch.

For colors, I like to stick to a limited pallet and branch out only after setting my primary colors. This entire series has been very experimental for me though, as you can probably tell.

As for the last bit— YES… YOU GET IT! As Elesa grows, the lines in her dialogue will start appearing less and less. It’s the little things that map the span of time for these guys.

Yippee!

#ask #mailbox #aah… scared to respond to my inbox because there r so MANY asks but #this one’s asking for tips and i love getting on my soapboxes #and also the sheer amount u reblogged??? holy shit okay if ur gonna put the effort so shall i!!#ANYWAYS!#critterbitter screams into the void #critterbitter

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cal-flakes · 8 months

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CONGRATS ON 1.5k BBY! SO WELL DESERVED!

could i get prompts 4 and 18? 🥺 like maybe readers brothers bsf rafe? like rafe likes reader and like they both like each other and all and he’s also super protective over the reader? if you want to that is! <3

AGAIN CONGRATS ON 1.5K YOU DESERVE IT SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOUR WRITING!!!!

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

╰┈➤ prompt four/eighteen, bfb!rafe

warnings: swearing, threats of violence, alcohol. author’s note: i loved this request so much!

tears streamed down her face as she burst through the front door of her house, tossing her bag aside as she hurried up the stairs, drawing attention from her brother and his friend who lounged in the living room. “y/n?” her brother called, quickly pushing away from the couch to follow her. the slam of her bedroom door was enough to have rafe following quickly, exchanging concerned glances with his friend.

ignoring the calls, y/n hurled herself into the comfort of her bed after locking the door, sinking into the sheets which would soon be coated with her wet tears.

“go away!” she yelled hysterically as her brothers knocks echoed through the room. “what happened y/n?” he tried again, his voice more tentative this time. “oscar please just go away!”

sighing, he leant back against the door, tilting his head at rafe, causing his friends brows to furrow.

“what?” he asked, his heart sinking as the sounds of her muffled sobs escaped through the crack of the door. “you try” oscar stated, ushering him closer to the door. “me?”

“yeah man, she’s got a thing for you..” he muttered, shaking his head as he started back towards the stairs, leaving rafe to attempt to draw her out. before he could argue back, oscar had disappeared downstairs, prompting rafe to turn back to the closed door, inhaling deeply.

despite the situation, he couldn’t control the small flutter in his stomach, his friends words circling his mind like a strangely-enjoyable migraine. “hey, y/n?” he called, leaning closer to the door.

the sound of his soothing, raspy voice had her head peeking out of the covers, quickly shuffling to the edge of the bed. “rafe?” she croaked, awaiting a response.

“yeah, it’s me. can i come in?” he asked carefully, his ring clad hand hovering over the handle as he heard movement on the other side, closing in on the door.

she didn’t answer, instead jumping up to unlock the door slowly, cracking it slightly.

his stomach churned and anger bubbles in his veins at the sight of mascara smears running down her flushed cheeks as her timid frame quivered behind the door. avoiding his gaze, she opened the door just enough for him to slide through before quickly locking it again.

turning back to the bed, she crawled under the sheets again, this time leaving room for him to slot in beside her.

making himself comfortable, he sat up fully against the headboard and opened his arm for her, ushering her to cuddle in. “c’mere, tell me what happened” he muttered, placing his hand gentle on her arm while he rubbed soft circles into her exposed skin.

“i- i went on a date..” she started, prompting rafe to divert his gaze, wincing at the thought. “and i- i thought he was a nice guy! he picked me up, and we went for a drive, and then- then suddenly he stops in the middle of some sketchy parking lot, and starts saying a bunch of creepy shit” she rambled, struggling to catch her breath.

“shh, can you take a deep breath for me?” he whispered, craning his neck to meet her eyes, mimicking the deep breath himself, inciting her to do the same.

nodding frantically she followed his movements, breathing through her nose and out of her mouth, their eyes never leaving one another’s.

“did he hurt you?” rafe questioned, his voice unnervingly cool. “no- no he didn’t, i hopped out as soon is it started to get scary..” she whispered. “i walked back..”

“you walked? why didn’t you call?” he asked, his forehead creasing in concern once again. to answer his question, she grabbed her phone from beside her, holding down the power button to show him the black screen. “it was dead..”

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alkalinefrog · 9 months

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Hey Alka, I had a quick question for you (whenever you have the time to answer or even if you have the time), I've been taking some storyboard classes and with my illustration background, it's been hard to really find a good shorthand for characters to really get that anatomy/gesture looking right without it being too sketchy and unreadable.

How long did it take you to find your storyboard shorthand, and what exercises would you recommend to try to find it? I'm sure it just takes time and practice, I've been doing a lot more studies and gesture drawings (currently following along all the free Glenn Vilppu videos I can find on youtube) but I wanted to ask you as well because I am in love with how fluid your anatomy is, and how clear your storyboards read. And those hands my god you're a wizard!!!

Thanks a bunch, have a wonderful day!

Heya Secret, great to hear from ya! Well, what you don’t see online is how gross the rough stage of my boards can get LMFAO. Most of the boards I post are actually overly cleaned up because I'm just doing them for fun and can afford the time! I'm not really sure how long it took to develop my shorthand, I've never really enjoyed drawing detail to begin with, so when I decided to go into boarding I kinda just leaned into it!

I’ve covered a bunch of gesture drawing exercises already if you scroll through my advice tag, but ***once you have a good foundation*** here's some stuff you can try!

First you'll want to build up an arsenal of anatomy hacks you can always fallback on, particularly for complex parts of the body. The less time you spend on details, the more time you have to focus on the overall pose and storytelling. Aim to find ways to draw with as FEW lines as possible. If I had to make a list to streamline what to practice:

Head shapes - find the most efficient way to draw the front + 3/4 + side view in as few lines as possible (the challenge is still making them look structured with dimension)

Eyes - are SO important for expressions! Unless your project has characters with dot eyes, you're going to need to find a quick way to do the circle and iris in as few lines as possible. Make sure you can convey where they're looking

Hands - fists (you'll be drawing a lot of people holding poles), open palms at various angles, foreshortened fingers pointing at viewer, fingers making grabby motions----protips: 1) half the time all you need is a vague triangle/rectangle plus thumb sticking up and that's a hand 2) if the hand is relaxed, you probably don't need to draw the knuckles. Save some time!

Feet - just learn how to make sure they look like they're standing on the ground, and do some studies of what they look like when you're running. Otherwise you can usually get away with a vague shoe or boot shape (just add toe lines if they're not wearing any)

----everything else you'll practice as you go!

Jump from SUPER rough straight into clean boards to really force yourself to be economic. I've done each of these methods for work before:

Before you start boarding with a character, sketch them a few times with the intention of simplifying their design while keeping them recognizable:

You'd be surprised how little you need to recognize a character:

Depending on the scene, you can adjust how much detail you want to include:

Stay loose/more generalized with action, especially for the "inbetweens" between key poses. Clean up enough to communicate movement and make the character recognizable.

If the character's small on screen in a wide shot, edit out most details and focus on the silhouette

Save the detail work for character acting, when you really want to be specific with their expressions and gestures.

But outside of all that, be bold and fearless!! Everyone has that stage where their boards look like spaghetti! Boarding is like handwriting; you could have really shitty chicken scratch, but if you're writing beautiful poetry, who cares!

god I love drawing hands you don’t even know thank you so much!! Good luck dude!! You’ve more than got this!!

#my art #advice #ask #secretsivekept #you got this!#sorry this took a while! my mental health was in the pits for a solid couple weeks #getting better now though!#storyboards

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billgetsmewet · 22 days

Text

doktorspiele..

short smut :3

-tom kaulitz x fem!reader

-warnings : nicknames,blowjob , sub!reader / dom!tom, agegap

A/N : 2015 tom is so hot stfu he could bend me over and *******

You and your parents recently moved towns because of financial problems, your new house was fine.. except the air conditioning. It was always super cold in your room, especially in winter, because of this, youve had a sore throat for a bit now.

You eventually told your mum and she suggested you get it checked out by a doctor, so you did as she said.

You were looking up doctors in your area, trying to find one that didnt look sketchy…

Eventually, after a but of scrolling, you found a doctor. He was quite young, it said in his description that he was 26 years old. This made you more comfortable, considering old doctors are kinda creepy.

Keep in mind, you were only 18, about to finish highschool.

You called the doctor and made an appointment for about 3 days after. You didnt mind waiting, since you knew you would still have this damn curse of a sore throat…

The day finally came. You hopped into the uber, getting to the doctors 20 minutes before your appointment, just in case. Surprisingly, he was free.. He welcomed you in, in a slightly seductive voice - Hello, y/n? Ah yes, Im Tom, i got done with the client before you pretty quickly..

You couldnt help but notice his thick german accent, it was really hot, being honest.

He took you into the office, sat you down, asked you whats wrong… the usual. - Ive had a sore throat for a while.. my room is pretty cold, so i just cant get rid of this.. Hm.. im sorry to hear, i suggest you getting a warmer blanket and clothes with longer sleeves.. and without cutouts around the neck.

Shit, you just noticed, you wore the most revealing shirt you could ever wear. I mean.. it could be helpful if he was trying to examine your lungs, but it was also making you look stupid in this situation, but.. for some reason Tom didnt seem to mind, its almost as if he kept looking at your tits from time to time..

He put the stethoscope on your chest, the cold metal making you slightly flinch, he was listening to your heart, noticing the beats are getting faster and faster once he looks at you. He smiles in realization before moving on and putting it on your back to check your lungs.Deep breath in, darling.

You struggled not to moan out as he called you “darling”.

Good girl, now deep breath out.

God, he was making this so hard.

He took the stethoscope to your heart again. This will.. uh..let me examine your lungs better, i feel. - he said, yet it sounded like an excuse.

Deep breath in, sweetheart…

He was definitely teasing you. He could hear your heart beat as fast as possible as he said “sweetheart”. You looked up at him, blushing, realizing whats happening.

Listen darling, all i can prescribe you for this sore throat is…

Next thing you know his cock is in your mouth and hes bobbing your head up and down on it. Atleast this will cure your sore throat, right..?

Ps i want 2015 tom to make me choke on his cock..;(

#bill kaulitz #tokio hotel #georg listing #gustav schäfer #tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz smut #smut #tokio hotel smut #tom kaulitz fanfic #kaulitz #kaulitz twins

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eggtartz · 1 year

Note

Hi Alin! I hope you are well and that your end of the year was very good. Can I request Mikey, Ran, Rindou and Chifuyu reacting to s/o staring at them (can be in public or in the presence of the gang) and the boys just ask her what she's looking at and she just says "I'm looking at my future husband"? Ty, be safe

a/n : thankyou for requesting anon <3

masterlist

mikey

your boyfriend was busy discussing about who knows what with draken while you were staring at him intently. the way he scrunches his nose and exhales dramatically, it never fails to bring a smile on your face. draken went to buy some dessert while mikey stayed with you. you moved closer to him stroked his blonde hair. "hm? what's wrong y/n? are you bored?" the man asked. you shooked your head. "nothing, it's just my future husband looks really handsome that's all" you said making mikey blushed and averted his gaze. you could see his ears were red and he couldn't even look at you. "o-oh? uh, good for him then.." he said while still looking away.

chifuyu

he was helping you with your mathematics homework while baji and ryusei was napping nearby. you couldn't help at how attractive chifuyu looked when he's super focused and when he's smart, knowing what he's doing. while chifuyu was doing the math you were subconsciously staring at him. "y/n? hello? earth to y/n?" he poked your forehead that snapped you out from your daze. "oh sorry chifuyu what was that?" chifuyu tilted his head "why are you staring? is there something wrong with my hair or something?" you smiled at him while ruffling his hair "no, i just thought that im currently looking at my future husband" the statement made chifuyu choked, baji and ryusei already laughing in the background when they're seeing chifuyu red. "g-gosh y/n.."

ran

"KAKUCHO!" the scarred man looked at you who was panting, eyes wild searching for someone. "HAVE YOU SEEN MY FUTURE HUSBAND?" kakucho frowned so much he's worried wrinkles are going to grow on his face earlier than expected. "your.. future husband? who's that y/n?" kakucho asks genuinely confused. it wasn't until you heard the lift dinged when kakucho sighed exhaustingly. "MY FUTURE WIFE!" the older haitani yelled when he got out from the lift. you two dramatically ran in slow motion and hugged each other. kakucho pinched the bridge of his nose, tired with your shenanigans.

rindou

rindou was slouching around, your arm draped over him. it was a lazy day, the two of you wanted to go on a date but unfortunately it was raining so the two of you were stuck at the tenjiku hideout. rindou kept frowning as the members did a lot of mistakes with their fighting skills so he sighed a lot. ran kept checking on you two, finding some way so the two of won't get bored. alas, the older brother found some old, sketchy board game and asked the tenjiku higher ups to sit down and play. it was odd to see deliquents playing board games but they were bored so why not. rindou won the game that he cheered loudly, booing at the others. you looked at him while smiling "my future husband won huh?" izana looked at you and gave a sly smirk as they nudged the now quiet rindou. "okay rin you need to invite everyone to the wedding yeah? or you know what? let's get the two of you married right here!" mochi dragged your ass with rindou's to stand and he became the priest who pretended to wed the two of you. rindou blushed furiously, the teasing too much for him.

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1d1195 · 9 months

Text

Protection III

Hi hi, here’s part 3. I am focusing deeply on the word ‘protection’ today. You can read the rest here: Protection

I am going to spoil the plot a bit by way of warning, but I want to be super up front about it. ***A horrible guy is going slip something in her drink about a third of the way through. Nothing awful is going to happen to her—she doesn’t even leave the bar with him (not with Harry around) but I want to make sure everyone is aware before you read. Please only read if you feel safe to do so.*** Men are the worst. Except Harry. Obvi. Otherwise this is going to be a little angsty and a little fluffy/comforting? That's the best way I can describe it.

My aim in these beginning parts is to really establish their little relationship they have going. A lot of that entails what she needs protection from--which happens to mainly be stupid men. I'm really aiming to contrast how lovely Harry is by comparison.

~6.1k words

Harry looked briefly at his hand on her shoulder. He didn’t miss the way she flinched as he touched her. Then flicked his gaze back up at him. “Take your hand off her yourself, or I will take it off for you.”

On this particular Friday, Harry was a mere three seats from her. Still at the end of the bar. Normally, she was at a table or dancing with her friends, so Harry was far out of view and earshot. He paid no attention to her or the many guys that were fighting for her affection. He thought it was funny to see the action up close. There was a secret message hidden in her eyes that one of her girlfriends seemed to know implicitly and she would come to her rescue, getting rid of the men surrounding her.

Harry scrolled through his phone, nursing his glass of soda water pretending it was gin and tonic with a lime. All the while, straining to listen to the dull roar of the crowd to hear the names of the people that dropped into her lap so he could run them through a background check.

She had to give credit where credit was due. Harry never looked miserable when he was out and about with her. He never told her no either—at least regarding where they could go. There was never a moment of the place was too sketchy. He let her figure that out, which in a weird way was comforting. If it was sketchy, with a previous agent, she was pretty sure she would stand her ground and stay there. Even if she felt weird. Now, she would simply look at Harry and he would hold the door open for her as they left.

“Hey,” this guy had pristinely coiffed hair. Like it was sprayed into place. She noted that his green pants had little blue whales embroidered on them—the same blue that matched his polo. It was like he just set foot off a yacht.

She had met his type several times over the years. He was definitely not the guy she wanted to be around. She missed his name as she thought about the last time she was forced to be with her dad on a boat. It was some networking thing—back when he was a senator, looking for support and aiming for a higher position. The escapade entailed him rubbing shoulders with his fellow governmental famous friends while she was stuck with their sons and daughters.

She hated their elitist conversations about how much money they had and why the wait at restaurants was getting out of hand when no one wanted to work—when she was certain the lot of them had never set foot outside of Mommy and Daddy’s bank to make their own money.

Fortunately, the guy in the weird pants put his hand on her arm, causing her to tune back in. She hoped she didn’t look ridiculous zoning out. Obviously, she hadn’t, if he continued talking to her. Her friend didn’t come over to interject either so maybe he was fine. She smiled politely at him, focusing on the one-sided conversation he seemed to be having. Maybe that was why he hadn’t noticed she wasn’t paying attention. He was merely listening to his own voice.

She thought about her flashcards sitting on her coffee table at home. That was better than listening to this guy. She pictured the words, the definitions, the pictures she had painstakingly drawn on each one over the last couple weeks. She had her third exam of one of her major classes in two weeks. She wasn’t struggling—especially if you looked at her grades, but it was because of the effort she put into her work to make sure it was top notch.

Where was her friend to get this guy away from her?

Oh well, at least she could imagine the different ring-structures while she zoned out.

Why did she even bother coming out tonight? She and Harry were in the middle of their latest rom-com when her friend invited her out. After the whole concert fiasco, while she was staying in for a week to ease Harry’s worries (and because he got yelled at—despite the fact everyone told him she would leave) she studied a lot. Meanwhile, Harry had created a list of every stupid rom-com movie he could find on Netflix and during her study breaks, they were slowly working their way through it. Being the scientist she was, she created a spreadsheet to rate each movie and list any additional comments. There were subcategories for their rating system, predictability, likability, casting, soundtrack, trashiness, etc.

“What are we going to do with this information?” Harry asked, looking at her laptop with her as she screen-shared it to her TV post-viewing Your Place or Mine.

“Ashton Kutcher gets a 10/10—"she muttered.

“You always give him a 10/10,” Harry reminded her.

“—and I don’t know. Nothing. It’s fun!”

It was the simplest fun she’d had in years.

Where was her friend?

She took a long chug of her drink, finishing it off and shaking the glass at the bartender while she mouthed “thank you.” She continued listening to the mind-numbing conversation this man was having with himself. It shocked Harry she could be so grumpy toward DSS but someone that was clearly boring the lights out of her was not subject to the lovely attitude he had been so lucky to see so many times over the last two and a half months.

Harry received an email alert that the check was completed. She may have missed his name, but Harry didn’t. He glanced through the details, finding public indecency from getting too drunk and showing off in public in front of a group of people he shouldn’t have. What should have been a short stint in jail, there was instead a fine was paid by someone with the same last name as him and no more record of the event. That was enough for Harry to get her out of there but theoretically if it was swept under the rug, then it wasn’t all that bad...marginally. So, he could leave him be. For now.

He also attended one of the private universities in the city. A red flag on her end for sure, but she had to have known that; he had been talking to her for over fifteen minutes and he seemed like the type to brag about where he went to school. So why was she listening to him? Harry swore if he had to listen to him fail to give her an orgasm tonight while he stood outside her apartment, he was going to lose his mind.

She sipped her new drink. Her fourth or fifth. Harry felt a little nervous given she hadn’t had any water and it had been hours since she had eaten. He wasn’t worried about her getting intoxicated—Harry remembered drinking significantly in college, but he didn’t want her to have a hangover or feel sick. He hated that and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Well, except maybe this guy. He had to remember to ask what she was thinking about while he spoke because there was no way she was paying this close attention to the nonsense spewing out of him about NFTs and Cryptocurrency.

He leaned toward her ear and whispered something. It made her cheeks turn red. But when she smirked it didn’t reach her eyes. Of course, this idiot didn’t notice. But Harry certainly did. She shook her head at whatever it was. But he didn’t accept that. He leaned closer toward her. Sliding in between her seat and the occupied one behind her. He draped his arm awkwardly around her and Harry couldn’t take it.

Her friend must have left or simply wasn’t paying attention.

Harry tapped her shoulder. “Love,” he said gently as she turned to him. “Let’s go please,” his voice was even, pleasant. He wasn’t trying to make a scene. But she was on drink number five at this point. Alcohol tended to make her a bit feisty—or feistier as Harry would say. She narrowed her eyes at him with a smirk.

“No, thank you,” she said just as politely and turned her attention back to the guy beside her. Even though she didn’t want to. It was so stubborn of her. Stupid of her. In hindsight, if she just listened to Harry, she probably would have had a much more pleasant weekend.

Harry grabbed the barstool she was sitting on and spun her back toward him. His thigh touched her knee. He gripped the back of her seat, closing her off from the guy she was speaking to. He leaned closer to her she could smell his minty breath. “Now,” his voice was low. But she could practically feel the vibration run through her like a current. Harry was intimidating (and without a doubt hot, it was impossible not to notice, especially when he was so close, smelled so good, and she had a lot of alcohol swimming through her bloodstream). It felt like maybe this was a terrible idea having someone close in age after all. Someone that, in theory, she could date if he were anyone else. If he weren’t someone charged with protecting her well-being every moment of the day.

“You always want to ruin my fun,” she grumbled sipping her drink.

He shook his head. “I don’t, love. I really don’t. But I want y’safe. Let’s go.”

“Look buddy,” the moron said to Harry. He put a hand on her shoulder. “We’re having a grand time right now. She doesn’t need your help.”

“Harry,” she hissed. Her eyes looked a bit glassy, and Harry thought she was probably feeling all four drinks she had tasted spin through her mind. The bar was hot, and confrontation was never off the table with her and probably fought well with the liquid running through her.

“Love,” Harry repeated.

“Don’t call her that,” the guy snorted. “It’s pretty pathetic you’re pining after her. There’s plenty of girls here that you could talk to. Why do you even want her?”

Harry looked at her directly in the eye, even though hers were struggling to see straight, her head bobbing ever so slightly. “I asked nicely, first. Please try t’remember that in the morning,” he told her evenly. In one movement, he grabbed the guy’s wrist off her shoulder so quickly and twisted it behind his back. Before there was any time to react from any party, Harry shoved him into the bar leaned close to the guy’s ear who let out the least manly squeal Harry had ever heard. “Public indecency charge and daddy covering up the charge doesn’t bode well for your limp dick, buddy,” he snarled in his ear.

“Harry!” She shouted angrily. Harry shoved him into the bar once more, causing him to grunt. In the next moment he grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the door. She pulled against him shouting and smacking his arm, but he didn’t release her. He was only mildly irritated by her weak punches. She was pissed he was strong. It wasn’t fair. The bouncers at the door were privy to the situation. They understood all too well who she was and who Harry was. They avoided eye contact with the girl vibrating with anger.

Harry lost his grip on her for all of two seconds. He caught her around the waist before she could even run three little steps. Without much effort, he swept her wiggling form into his arms. Tossing her over his shoulder like she weighed nothing but a small bag of potatoes. Then he simply turned to walk the few blocks back to his SUV.

She did not like it. “PUT. ME. DOWN.”

“Y’know, I did m'training with another political family. They had a young daughter. After a long day, I had t’do the very same thing t’her. If you’re going t’act like a child. I’ll treat you like one. M’doing this for your safety.”

“You’re EMBARRASSING me!” She shrieked.

“Then jus’ listen next time. M’not waiting around for some financial know-it-all t’indecently expose himself around you or worse. I’m done with your reign of paperwork terror. Not for a bratty girl that jus’ wants attention,” it was a low blow. He knew it as he said it. Especially after her last threat when he called her a brat.

She hit him hard against his back. Clawed at his shirt. It was no use because his muscles were dense and had no give for her weak punches. She wondered if he could even feel them. “I am not a brat!” she hissed at him.

“You couldn’t fool me.”

She gave him a few more lackluster punches. Yelled so many swears she would embarrass a sailor. But after two blocks, her yells turned into grumbles. She muttered a few more choice words with Harry’s name attached as he carried her further down the sidewalk.

After a full three minutes of silence, she sighed. The rush of blood to her head was definitely calming her quicker than if she were upright. She felt woozy between being upside down for so long and the flush of alcohol in her bloodstream. “I won’t run,” she mumbled after a moment. “Please put me down, Harry,” she said politely. “I promise.”

Given that any time she uttered the word or swore to keep a promise, she did (with the exception of losing her phone), he almost immediately righted her. He held her steady by the hip for a moment until the blood went back to where it belonged in her body.

They walked in more silence, another block. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

"S’okay. It was rude of me. I didn't like what I saw on the background. Nor what he had t’say,” he shrugged. He was grateful she didn’t take off again. Harry didn’t want to fight with her.

She smirked. Her eyes fluttered a moment too long. If Harry hadn't been practically studying her every movement over the last few months he might not have noticed the extra twitch in her eye as she did. He looked at her curiously, only one extra second longer, before he decided to shrug it off as the alcohol. “Least I waited t’carry you till we were outside, yeah?” He asked. Harry was nothing but partial to constructive feedback at least. Especially in a moment like this. When it was quiet, just the pair of them. Like their coffee runs or while they were watching movies. When she wasn’t on display in front of her friends, and she wasn’t thinking about Harry like he was her enemy.

She nodded. Her head felt really heavy, suddenly. The last drink must have caught up to her more than all the others. Which sucked mainly because it didn't even taste good. It was like the bartender added extra salt to it or something.

“Yeah,” she mumbled and stumbled a bit. She managed to press her hand against the building they were walking nearby as she stopped to try and catch her breath. Her brain felt so fuzzy. She tried to shake her head of the fogginess, but it only made her dizzier. Harry grabbed her other arm and held her upright only briefly before she nearly collapsed.

“Whoa, love?” Harry asked quickly wrapping an arm around her waist to stabilize her.

"Something’s wrong...my drink was salty," she mumbled almost intelligibly.

Her brain automatically put it together, but her tongue felt too swollen in her mouth to explain it to Harry. She pictured drawing it. Benzene rings. 1-methyl, 7-nitro. She could have drawn them herself if she wasn’t so tired. They nearly danced in her vision, as if they were appearing out of thin air as they attached to the cells in her bloodstream.

Harry swore under his breath as the realization hit him shortly after her. He swept her back into his arms, this time cradling her against his chest. His heart raced with anger and worry. “Love? Y'with me?" He asked uselessly. She nodded anyway and gave a small sound that he imagined was supposed to be a word but didn't make it all the way through her lips. "Fucking hell," he hissed and hurried the final block to his SUV.

Harry drove as fast as he possibly could while keeping an eye on her slumping figure in his passenger seat. He barely had the car in shifted in park (in a no parking zone at that) when he rushed to her side. “Gonna get y’some help, love. M’so sorry,” he mumbled to her. Harry felt terrible. Horrible. He should have been faster at getting her out of there. He should have...

Well, he didn’t really have time for should haves right now.

He cradled her once more. While his heart was fraught with worry his brain was trying to sort through everything that went wrong so, very quickly...he couldn’t stop the thought of how natural it felt to hold her like this. He wished with everything in him, it was for something else. Maybe she simply drank too much. Or she fell asleep on the floor amidst her study session. Anything. Anything but this.

Harry sprinted into the emergency room shouting orders explaining who he was holding in his arms. As soon as they realized the gravity of the situation, he explained who he was as he laid her on a gurney. Now that she was going to get treatment and out of his arms, the worry in his heart escalated. So much so it must have been plain on his face. The nurses were putting IVs in her, a doctor flashed a light in her eyes and all the while she limply laid there. Like she was merely asleep on her couch in her flowery apartment.

“Did he—?”

Harry felt his stomach knot at the half-question. His heart filled with venom. He couldn’t hear the words. He didn’t want anyone to hear it. He couldn’t fathom someone—no, something awful and terrible hurting her like that. “No,” he snapped. He was mad that he didn’t see the drink. It had to be when she was yelling at him. and her fitful, spiteful drink of the same glass when he stopped paying attention to her for half a second. He must have thought she would have shaken Harry off. Leave her alone with the likes of him.

Harry thought it would have been a hell of a lot worse if she hadn’t sat at the bar this evening. Or if he didn’t hear his name when he introduced himself. If he didn’t get the background check back as quickly as he did and knew that an indecent exposure was enough to make Harry weary.

Harry was pacing the hall outside the room where she was being tested. He was thinking of ways to murder him in the time it would take for her to be ready tomorrow morning. Or arrested. He could call a tip to his friend at the local police station. He called the bartender to let him know. To keep an eye on anyone else at that bar and to get that horrible monster out.

Oh, he was so fucking mad. “Goddammit!” He shouted knocking over an IV stand with nothing on it. Some of the staff stared at him momentarily and the clatter he created. Harry ignored their stairs, running his hands through his hair and pressing his forehead to the wall as he knotted his fingers behind his head. The onlookers continued about their business.

The paperwork was going to be brutal. He was certain he would be fired. Worse, he felt he deserved it. It was the least that should happen to him because he basically broke the one rule he was expected to follow: he let something happen to her. Something that he should have seen and prevented before it hurt her.

There was a gentle tap on his arm. He turned his head from the wall. “You can see her now,” the nurse said softly.

Harry wasn’t stupid. He knew only family or emergency contacts were allowed to see her, neither of which he was. He probably should call her father. How was he supposed to have that conversation? Regardless, he knew she wouldn’t want to see him. Not after that. No matter how forgiving she seemed once he let her walk on her own.

“M’sure I’m the last person she wants t’see,” he admitted. “And m’not family.”

The nurse shrugged and looked at the tablet in her hand again and then looked back up at him. “Harry, right? It says you’re her emergency contact.” She held out the tablet to show him that it was Harry’s name and number under the emergency contact information bubbles. The word ‘friend’ was written as the descriptor for relationship.

He sighed, feeling a larger obligation to her. Although he wasn’t sure it was right for him, after she got hurt on his watch. “Is she alright?” He asked rubbing the back of his head.

“Yes, thanks to you. You saved her. These kinds of things don’t usually have such a bright ending,” she nodded with a smile. She reminded him of a mum. Her kind, gentle encouraging words. She opened the door to the room and gestured for him to enter.

Harry slipped quietly in the door. She looked as if she was sleeping, like when she fell asleep on her couch in the middle of one of their movies without Harry noticing and he had to pretend he hadn’t already seen half the movie without her. There was a tube of oxygen flowing into her nose, her head was slumped to the side. An IV still in her arm. God, Harry hated it; hated that this happened to her and he couldn't stop it in time.

“We’re going to keep her overnight just to make sure it all clears her system. But she’ll be fine. And it’s really a much better scenario than what typically happens.”

Harry closed his eyes and sighed. Rubbing his hand over his face he nodded. “Thank you.”

“Can I get you a drink?” She asked.

“Please. Thank you, ma’am,” he said politely. She hurried to do that and then left them alone.

Harry once more watched her sleepy figure. He was so used to this, as he had told Niall. Most of his job was watching her sleep. The number of times he stood vigilant while she slept amidst her textbooks and a coffee cup nearly spilling out of her hand. She looked so peaceful. When she wasn’t arguing or yelling at him. But right now was different, and he hated watching her sleep. He wanted her to be awake, yelling at him or furiously telling him that Rachael Leigh Cook and Natalie Portman were not the same people.

She’s safe, she’s okay, and she’ll be alright. He repeated it to himself like a mantra as he watched her dream-struck face. He hoped she was having a good dream. Hoped that the night wasn’t on her mind and that she felt safe again.

He scooted himself forward in the chair so that he was closer to the bed. He didn’t like the angle her head was tilted. Carefully, he pressed his hand to the side of her neck and gently moved her, so she was more evenly centered against the pillow. On top of everything else, he didn’t want her to strain her neck. She sighed softly; almost as if she melted into his touch. Harry felt the first bout of relief since they left the bar. He breathed out his own sigh. He propped his head in his other hand, gazing at her, his elbow resting on the edge of her bed.

He held her head up in that position the whole night.

She was quiet and groggy as he drove her back home the following morning. Wrapped his arm around her waist carefully and supported her weak frame up the steps to her apartment building. He didn’t let go of her in the elevator or when they were inside her apartment and moreover, she didn't protest. The rage Harry felt was as fierce as it was the night before. The only solace he had was knowing that poor excuse for a man was brought into custody.

Harry was dreading the paperwork he’d have to fill out for this one, but not even because he was annoyed with her. No, not annoyed; instead, he focused all his frustration and worry about caring for her.

She was silent, resting on the couch, her eyes still fluttering as if she needed to sleep more. Harry wouldn't blame her if she fell asleep again. It wasn’t her fault for the fatigue and exhaustion that wracked her body. Harry kind of hoped she would continue to rest for the afternoon. “Was supposed to study,” she mumbled.

“Sorry love; don’t think s’happening this weekend,” he remarked bringing her water and some toast for her stomach. Peanut butter slathered in one thin layer on the slice of bread, just as he had seen her do so many mornings before she headed to class. He sat beside her, holding the plate while she nibbled on her snack and was once more pleased that she didn't protest.

She was too tired to complain or argue or really do anything to torture Harry. Not that she looked for ways to torture him.

But specifically, it was never her intention to get hurt like this, of course. “I'm really sorry, Harry,” she mumbled. “Do you have to do the paperwork for it?” She asked. “I won’t tell anyone,” she promised.

Harry felt a twinge in his chest at her kindness that she was willing to lie on his behalf. That she was apologizing. He smiled sadly, and nodded. “I do, love. But s’okay. And...S’not your fault.”

“I should have listened to you,” she muttered looking down at her toast dejectedly. She messed up so bad. It wasn't supposed to happen like that.

“Love,” he said seriously. “I’ll blame y’till the end of time for you escaping or running away...this though? This is not y’fault,” he promised shaking his head. She frowned and didn’t speak. Her other security members would have blamed her. Because yes, he shouldn’t have spiked her drink. But if she were a pleasant person to watch, obeyed the rules like a lovely little pet, then she wouldn’t have had a sip of her drink to spite Harry and she would have left peacefully. And safely

“Thank you,” she said softly. “Can’t imagine what would happen if...” she trailed off thinking about if she managed to stay. She swallowed thickly, suddenly very frustrated and upset over her own stupidity for letting something like this happen. Letting someone take advantage of her. She should have been more aware. She shouldn’t have let her annoyance cloud her judgment.

“Love, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” he promised. “M’sorry this did. Feel like I let y’down.”

She swallowed a piece of her toast realizing that Harry knew to put peanut butter on it, and she felt a bit overcome with emotion. It was sweet that he knew her. Her other agents would never do this for her. They’d make sure she was okay and stay far away from her. “I understand if you want to be reassigned,” she whispered.

He frowned, suddenly taken aback. He put the plate of toast on the coffee table. He rubbed his palms along his thighs. “Y’don’t want me t’be here?” He asked.

She shook her head. “No, I do...” she sighed. “But...this is bad, even I know that,” she admitted. “M’sorry. Really truly sorry I didn't listen. I know...I know how seriously you take your job and it wasn't fair to you to have to suffer through that either.”

“S’jus’ paperwork,” he shrugged. She looked up at his face, his green eyes were soft. There was no other way to describe it. He watched her eat and rest. Of course, she knew how much Harry hated paperwork. He moaned and groaned about it from her dining table almost weekly. She wasn’t part of the meetings, but she knew that he would get yelled at for this one. Even if it wasn’t his fault. But...he wanted to stay anyway. "The important thing is you're safe, love."

“You want to stay?” She asked in surprise.

He shrugged then nodded again. “S’long as you want me here.”

She thought Harry was a glutton for punishment, but she liked how nice he was to her. Maybe she would take it easy for a little bit. This really was a lot more than he probably anticipated.

“So...m’your emergency contact?” He asked with a smug little smirk. It made her rethink her kindness only briefly due to the way he looked so pleased with the notion.

For years it had been her father. She had been waiting for someone to come along and take his spot. She could have lied. Said it was always her main agent. It would have been easy to lie but part of her thought Harry would see right through her. “Who am I supposed to put?” She grumbled. “My dad? Fat chance of that.”

He smirked. “Glad I was there,” he nodded. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?”

“I think I would have...gone a bit mad if I didn’t...get t’see you,” he explained.

Her lips turned up in a tired smile. Poor thing still weak and groggy. “Sorry you had to carry me, I know I’m not light.”

“S’not even on the top hundred things I was worried ‘bout, love. Y’shouldn’t worry ‘bout that either.”

She felt her face warm a bit and she nodded. “Do...you have to start the paperwork right away? Or can we finish our movie?”

He glanced at his watch and nodded. “I can spare the time t'finish the movie.”

Harry got the reaming of a lifetime. She wasn’t privy to it, nor heard any detail of it. But she could tell from the way Harry hardly spoke to her. He even tried really hard not to yell at her while she did stupid things like leave a candle burning while she napped. Or reached into the sink to get the spoon that fell in the garbage disposal. Or when she didn’t look at the active ingredients of her cleaning supplies while washing her shower down and got lightheaded.

He didn’t seem all that fazed though, and it kinda ruined her typical annoying fun with him even if she was taking it easier on him. Still, she wasn’t so heartless to recognize this was a job for Harry. She recognized how bad it was that something like this happened. Especially for Harry. But even so, because it was the first time that she ever found herself without control over herself. Her life was literally in Harry’s hands, and even if she didn’t know until after, she trusted that she would be okay anyway simply because Harry was there. Even if he was part of her detested security detail.

She was standing in the middle of her sitting room with the book from her shelf. She placed her mug of tea on the coffee table and pretended to read the back of her book with feigned interest. Glancing at Harry, staring at his computer, she wondered what was said or what he was told he had to do. He wasn’t even typing or moving the mouse, so she knew he was simply ignoring her. They hadn’t watched a movie in a week. “How much paperwork do you have to do if I die or something?”

His gaze flicked to her and then turned back to his screen--still no typing. “S’not funny, love,” he rolled his eyes. She liked the eye roll. That was the most interaction she had with him in a week. The most reaction she got out of him in a week.

“I’m genuinely asking.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “A lot, probably.”

She nodded. “Why?”

“You’re not supposed to die. Not while m’here. If you die, then I didn’t do m’job t’protect you. S’protocol.”

God, she hated that word. “That’s hardly fair.” She frowned. Harry noted her distaste seemed serious. “You have a mom and a sister who would be devastated if something happened to you—especially on behalf of me.”

He blinked at her curiously. He hadn’t ever mentioned his family around her. He was surprised she even knew he had a sister. She rolled her eyes at him as he tried to flesh through all their conversations to see when he slipped up. “You’re not the only one that can do a background check. You should really put a middle name on your social media instead of your last name. Makes it a little harder to find you. Don’t know very many Harry Styles around these parts.”

He smirked. She was pretty cute when she was a know-it-all.

“Finally. I thought my material was worsening,” she flung herself back on the couch. “I don’t know what they said to you, but can you just come over here so we can watch a movie? I feel like they forgot you were the one that got me out of that mess. I don’t think it’s fair they yelled at you because I was being a brat. Suddenly now they think I would listen? That’s on them more than anything,” she said assuredly.

Harry seemed to be having some kind of internal battle over by his computer. She began reading the first couple pages of her book while Harry tried to work through whatever it was that was bothering him before his resolve seemed to crumble, and he took his place on the other sofa. She closed her book.

“What are they like?”

“Who?” He asked. He bounced his knee with what appeared to be a bout of nervous energy. She wished she could reach out and still it. She didn’t want him to be nervous. Despite everything and all the reasons she didn’t like DSS, she really liked Harry. He shoved his hands into his front pockets.

“Anne and Gemma,” she smiled impishly. Harry chuckled because it was funny, she really did do her own little background check. He would have to view his social media profiles from his work laptop and see what he could find out about himself. See what she saw.

“They’re lovely women,” he said with a shrug. “My best friends, probably. Not much t’say.”

“Of course, they’re lovely,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re lovely. But what do they do? What are they like?”

“I’m lovely?” His knee stopped shaking. His eyes were so very green as he looked at her awaiting her response.

She glanced at him nervously--not because she was nervous around him...but because he was Harry. If Harry ever left she would have to have a serious chat with whoever decided the person in charge of her protection should be close in age to her. It was not good for her psyche. Or if he was going to be close in age, he couldn't be as hot as Harry. It was very unfair. “Well. Yeah. Not…many people put up with a spoiled brat like me. Even when they’re forced to.”

“Spoiled is not how I would describe you,” he shook his head. She didn’t respond and continued staring at him so she wouldn’t turn into mush at the barely there compliment he gave her. “Gemma is very sweet and funny. Intelligent. You would probably be best friends with her. If it wasn’t for escaping—Gemma is a good-two-shoes. She’s a writer—really into mental health. Mum would like all the flowers y’have. She works for a non-profit for domestic violence. She would probably want t’braid y’hair the way she braids Gemma’s. Gemma can’t cook—or she shouldn’t. Mum let me do most of the cooking. They crochet together a lot now these days. Every Wednesday night they get together t’have tea on the porch and crochet. They’re always sending new designs in our group chat.”

Her heart felt so warm as she listened to the adoration falling from Harry’s lips for the women in his life. She wished she had a sibling.

Or a mom.

...Or a Harry.

That sounded adorable.

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

Protection taglist: @youcouldstartacult @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @luxiorchive @ameerakane20 @daphnesutton @kathb59 @be-with-me-so-happily @narry-heart @cherryshouse

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist for more of my writing.

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justenjoythegossip · 2 months

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WHAT ABOUT NOW ? DO YOU SEE HOW COMPLICIT CHRIS IS?

Very quick recap of recent events: Some very staged pics of Chris & Abba in Lisbon surfaced yesterday at approximately the same time, hours after some good old classic teasing and trolling. The previous weeks, we had a few interesting events that all seemed to point to a possible (but unlikely) separation: a sight of Chris’ doppelganger with no ring, Abba on a ski trip with her friends without her ring, Chris posting Dodger in MA for Valentine’s, Chris posting pictures of himself in LA without his wife, the very questionable Medium article about their alleged split…

Chris’ participation in the latest silly stunt & the point of recent events..

I know a big chunk of his fandom has given Chris the benefit of the doubt since the start of this shitshow. Chris liked to joke that he is quite the “meatball” but as RDJ his frequent costar has said, he is very “shrewd”. And I believe it’s now pretty obvious Chris knows exactly what he is doing and he is more than complicit in those PR games.

Chris came back to Instagram just in time for the Back Friday, with a very different grid and a much more professional account. When he posted that story of his beloved dog Dodger running in the snow on Valentine’s eve, it was the FIRST time he had posted a private moment since his return to Insta. The first time and it wasn’t random. He then posted 2 pics of him with the Russo brothers that were taken a month prior to their being published. A month before and it wasn’t random!

The optics were pretty obvious, he was showing himself to be alone. He was selling a narrative. Alone on Valentine’s day. Alone at a party in a city where his wife says she lives. Oh and by the way, his kinda wife did pretty much the same thing at the same time, showing herself on a ski trip without her ring. It was a concerted effort as both sides worked IN UNISON to paint the picture of a possible separation as a misdirect.

And to that, let’s add the super sketchy Medium article that discussed their alleged split. I wrote a post about it if people want to check it out… https://www.tumblr.com/justenjoythegossip/742890431073992704/will-albas-immaturity-racism-and-alleged?source=share

The role of that questionable Medium article in that latest stunt…

I strongly suspected his team was behind that article. But now even more so and for several reasons. First of all, that article supported the exact same narrative that Chris & Abba were selling at the exact same time. I have difficulties believing in a coincidence. Obvious plants in the fandom made such a big fuss about this article while being very adamant about not having written it. Both DM & ENTY (overkill much?) pinned this article on “crazy fans that took it too far”. Last but not least, the article was posted online 3 days before team PR blogs mentioned it. So his team knew about it. And I strongly suspect that they would have had taken that article down if they had wanted to. But they didn’t.

What was the goal then? Well I don’t need to tell you that given how staged those Lisbon pics are, they were planned for some time & curated (oh yes, Abba’s movie is coming out soon but surely another coincidence). Chris, Abba and their teams knew it was coming, so by breadcrumbing and hinting at a separation, what they did was to ADD SHOCK VALUE to their latest stunt. To get people more excited. To have their emotions run as high as possible.

Because let’s be honest, what they just did is basically “same old, same old”. So that narrative of a separation helped achieve maximum impact with minimum effort.

Team PR’s role in this latest stunt and the lies they are currently selling…

By drawing so much attention to that sketchy article, Team PR blogs tried to give Chris & Abba’s separation as much hype as they could. Kudos to them for still lying with a straight face. But I guess it’s easier to do that when you are sitting behind a keyboard. https://www.tumblr.com/justenjoythegossip/737798414679605248/pr-spin-credibility-of-team-prteam-real-and-the?source=share

So now after the pics of Chris & Abba in Lisbon, they are selling more lies, but the 2 key ones being that:

The pics are either old and or fake because they are photoshopped and they don’t mean anything

Abba is the one that photoshopped the pic with Chris’ side unaware of it.

There is a lot to unpack here and to debunk so I am sorry I’ll try to be as succinct as I can. Let’s state the obvious, Chris is the powerful Hollywood star while Abba is a no-name actress from a small country. She is not in charge of anything, his team is likely in command while she is kept on a short leash. She isn’t even allowed to speak in public (remember the GQ event). So to claim that Abba is pulling the strings is absolutely ludicrous. Having said that, neither Chris or Abba is running this shitshow. CAA is most likely in charge.

Also even if you believe that the pics in Lisbon are fake (more on that later), it doesn’t make one bit of a difference but it does mean something (more on that later as well). There is absolutely no way that either Abba’s side or Chris’ side would leak anything, especially pictures without the other side knowing about it and approving it. If either one of them made the mistake of being seen somewhere when they are supposed to be someplace else, the house of cards would fall down. These people do know how to disappear when they want to or to be seen when they want to. So again, regardless of what you believe of those sights in Lisbon (real or not), Chris was complicit. Without a question. But Team PR blogs always try to soften the blow by presenting Chris as a poor innocent victim to make him look more sympathetic and they present Abba as this arch-villain trolling Chris’ fandom. Their constant lying serves one main purpose: to distract from the actual truth. So let’s spell the truth out. Chris and Abba’s shitshow isn’t over. They lied. Once again. Chris is more than a willing participant in those despicable PR games and Abba is not in charge.

The necessary discussion about Photoshop and the reasons for its blatant use…

I definitely dreaded talking about Photoshop because this subject tends to trigger people, and also because Majorscammer has turned that topic into a complete joke. Since I’m not a tech person, I will discuss it strictly from a PR/marketing standpoint.

Digital retouching is used all the time to try to make a product more appealing to the public so that they buy it. It’s no different in PR. Sometimes, an actress might want a slimmer waistline, an actor who is super self-conscious about his age next to his teenager looking wife might want some wrinkles erased or a fuller set of hair. Photoshop does not equate fake. Sometimes they are just slight (or big) alterations but it’s still very real.

One friend who is a tech guy did tell me that sometimes when you use AI to alter a picture, you get “weird” mistakes in the pic. So again, the weird digital retouching in a pic might be totally organic. But obviously most of the time, it isn’t organic. And indeed, a pic can be badly altered on purpose because it serves a clear purpose. And agencies do use badly photoshopped pictures as an efficient tool in a PR strategy all the time for the simple reason that it’s meant to get people to talk. It is supposed to drive traffic and feed the discourse.

So again, I won’t discuss whether one pic in Lisbon might be old while the other might be legit or not but seems to have many issues. Why? Because it’s pointless as there is no way to know the truth and more importantly it serves as a distraction. The point is, the truth is right in front of our eyes. They are still selling the narrative that they are a married couple and they use cheap tricks to keep the fandom engaged.

Chris’ love/hate relationship with his fans and the evil/corrupt tactics in the PR strategy

Chris has very often said that he has the best fans and that he loves them. But I would argue that his relationship to his fandom is far more ambiguous that he would care to admit. We have witnessed a few hints that would suggest that Chris doesn’t value his fandom as much as he should. Scott made certain remarks where he definitely threw his fans under the bus. Even recently on a podcast this past summer. There was also an interaction on Twitter between Chris and Yvette Nicole Brown where Chris thanked her. It was right after Chris & Abba’s first papwalk. And Yvette made some very negative comments about Chris’ fans that were totally over-the-top and unhinged.

But more importantly, I would argue that actions speak a lot louder than words. And what has Chris signed on? A PR strategy that involves teasing his fans, trolling them, toying with them, manipulating them, gaslighting them and more disgustingly villainizing them. He can claim that “the industry makes you do things you don’t want to do” all he wants but it’s a rationalization. The truth is many of his peers haven’t resorted to such despicable tactics.

Many people have claimed that he has looked ashamed as hell when he was next to her. People have speculated that it was likely because she is a fat shaming, racist, antisemitic, arrogant Nazi sympathizing yacht girl but I don’t think so. I think he has looked embarrassed because of the optics of their relationship, because he looks so much older next to her. This is probably why they were wearing masks for their first papwalk, why all the content that comes out is so heavily curated, why he didn’t want to walk the red carpet with her for the Ghosted premiere etc. Why do I say that he is not ashamed of her Nazism? Well, for the simple reason that he and his team chose her and they very likely knew who she was from the very start. Abba was in a (PR? Real?) relationship with Lucas Bravo before she was linked to Chris. And Lucas and Chris share the same publicist: Meghan. It’s not very believable that she didn’t know who Abba was when they signed on this PR. So if Chris feels any shame other than his age, hopefully it comes from the fact that he knows that this PR strategy that demonizes his fans is despicable. And it is morally and ethically corrupt.

Laura Benanti’s hilarious sketch as she impersonates Melania Trump for the Colbert show

To end on a much lighter note, I would like to recommend this amazing comedy bit performed by Tony Award winning actress and comic genius Laura Benanti.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8crpSnfl6Hs (start video at 1’54”)

It’s both hilarious and so on point but also very informative on the strategies used in PR tactics. I won’t spoil the ending of the sketch but I think you’ll understand right away why I chose this to illustrate this post.

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strawbbella · 1 year

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Helloo~ I was bored in class one day so I thought "why not do an art study of the artists I like" except it incredibly scuffed and I really just looked at a bunch of art on their page and i tried my best to replicate one of em

So these are the 2 'studies' i did that day

1st:

My ver:

(Art by @izuke-the-zombie )

ref pic:

What I noticed first while sketching is ofc the super gorgeous cute style. Though not long into the sketching phase noticed her lines are quite sharp and pronouced, for most of her works she keeps her sketch lines making it seem more mmm hazy is the right word? Or effortless, but with every sharp line a rounded(?) line contrasts it, giving it that signature fluffiness. I absolutely adore how well this all mixes together, i dunno just sonethin bout her lines bro

I love the expression, really gives off absolutely love sick, I didn't capture the eyes quite well (I blame my chonk pen because all good artists blames their materials/j) Macaque looks more scared than breath taken and I put the eyes too far apart. I basically deprived the eyes of its soul lmao note for next time I do a study.

Ok this part has not much to do with the ref pic but her art in general and that includes her writing. I adore the cute HCs and little stories/AUs she would post, just so much creativity and its always so comforting to read as theyre so wholesome and cute. Im so sure one of my first posts here were a drawing of one of her HCs LIKE SRSLY SO CREATIVE. I was also surprised as I saw in some artworks she's able to draw structures and environments that draws your into the scene, its fits the universe so well, just adding to that little wonderment of awe. Shes amazing at coloring too, real soft, but still makes the characters pop, i'd say more but my brain is short-circuiting from all this analyzing. Shes just all round incredibly talented and creative honestly. Her style is exactly what i wanted to have as a kid and what im striving to have now. So cuteee

So far 11/10 art style, love the chibiness, cuteness, expressions, the pure and pastel feel and colors, and details. Just love her in general<3 check out her page lol

2nd:

My ver:

(Art by @clatteringbats )

ref pic:

Ok so immediately off the bat I knew I was gonna have some trouble here since I've been drawing chibis from the very start.

Just from observing her art I alr saw it has a lot of movement in em, lots of dynamic poses, and LOTS of embraces, really just pouring with that fluff/angst energy. At first I tried the anime body guidelines and boom instant error. Though not all that noticable the heads have sum chonk in em, especially the cheeks, giving that cute factor despite not being a chibi style. Im all for it. The lines are very soft, not a lot of sharp edges and if there are theyre placed in a very subtle way. The expressions are wonderful: from a subtle hopeless smile from an overwhelming roar of grief and anger, she's mastered the the art of slight details that give these effects their magic. Her lines are sketchy but not messy (does that make sense) they clump together neatly, giving the illustration clarity.

AND OMG HAVE YOU SEEN HER ANIMATICS? THE MOVEMENT, THE PACING, THE SMOOTHNESS, THE INTERACTIONS, THE EMOTIONS, THE EVERYTHING. THEYRE SO AAAA ITS LIKE A PROFESSIONAL STORYBOARD FOR A TV SHOW.

The way she uses color too— just o h m y g o d .

Her colors are so bright and clear, so nicely blended together, so bold, but not in the way that burns your eyes, she keeps them neutral in a way, that envokes that sense of harmony; like a sunset. (I legit have one of her colored artworks as my wallpaper) I have lots more to observe, but so far this is all I have to say. The skill of overflowing

Anways, back to the task at hand. I made the heads bigger than i shoulda , cause well chibi artist ehe. Again, I blame my chonk pencil. I didn't get the embrace quite right, but Ion think I could level with the queen of LITERALLY DRAWING TEARJERKING HUGS LIKE? I tried with the hands, I swear. I knew they were a little small but only now am I realizing its that way cause I made the heads too big. I wanna try drawing more in her style as its really just full of movement and flowiness, I wanna try mastering the way she draws perspectives too. I noticed for perspective shots theres this grid for the sky and ground (which is genius) will try that out when I actually pick up digital art again.

Check out her page, theres lots to see shes amazing 11/10 artstyle<3

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myhairpintrigger · 11 months

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Hi! Could I request a female reader x aleksander morozova where reader went for a walk alone and felt unsafe due to two sketchy men in a secluded forest area. Thankfully a group of people start walking towards them and they leave her alone. She returns home shaking and scared and aleksander comforts her with hugs, tea and some chocolate. He promises nothing will hurt her and is just super soft and comforting.

Unfortunately inspired by true events. Super thankful that a group of other walkers appeared, but really wish aleksander had been there to give me a hug afterwards

FIRST OF ALL ANON:(( please be safe! don’t go walking alone :( also second of all… i’m so sorry that this is late. i’ve been slacking on posting and writing recently with everything that’s going on in my life. i have SO MANY requests to get to, so please be patient while i slowly work through them all. third of all, thank u so much for your request my sweet little anon baby. i love u dearly. <3

warnings: none really. mostly soft

word count: 1.2k

Trouble to be Had (aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

You couldn’t shake the strange feeling that settled in the pit of your stomach.

You went for walks in the forest behind the Little Palace all the time and you’d never felt this kind of dread. But this time you did.

Usually, you weren’t alone, granted. Normally, you’d go on little walks with Aleksander. The two of you had been friends for a very long time, until eventually it evolved into something more, something romantic. Now the two of you were engaged to be wed, so it was understandably hard to separate the two of you. But today he was busy with meetings, as he so often was, and you decided to take your evening walk alone.

You ran your hand through your hair and looked back over your shoulder slightly to see two men following you. The feeling of dread bubbled up even more in your stomach. They both looked haggard and dirty, as if they’d been creatures of the forest themselves. You lowered your head down just a bit and you let out a little hum to try and relax your nerves, to no avail.

The footsteps behind you grew closer and closer, and now you could tell the men were much closer to you than before. You didn’t want to panic, but you were afraid it was heading in the direction as you continued to walk ahead, trying to work out how to get away from the two of them. It wasn’t like you could run into the forest, they’d surely catch you; if of course, their intentions were malicious. You were positive they at least weren’t friendly. That feeling of dread in your stomach made you nauseous and you hurried along, and with every quickening step of yours, you could hear theirs speeding up to match yours. Your breath became ragged and uneven with fear and you were about to break into a run when you heard voices ahead of you on the path.

You lifted your head to see a few other Grisha, including your friend Zoya, and you gasped softly, jogging up to meet them halfway as they walked towards you on the path.

“Y/n!” Zoya called.

You didn’t stop walking until you reached her and grabbed onto her arm tightly, trying your best to calm yourself down.

“Where is The Darkling?” She asked as you gripped her arm and watched as the two men stuck their heads down and hurried away from your group. You felt immense relief and you let out a long sigh before you looked up at Zoya, walking along with her as you clung to her arm.

“Meetings and such.” You murmured distractedly and she nodded once.

The walk back to the Little Palace was quiet save for the quiet chatting of the girls you were amongst, and the second you could see the palace in view, you bid Zoya goodbye and dashed off towards the building. Tears sprung to your eyes as you ran inside and you let out a few tiny huffs of breath as you made your way to Aleksander’s chambers. You kept your head down and determinedly pushed the doors to his war room open. You tried to ignore the stares of David and a few other Grisha that surrounded the table and you met Aleksander’s eyes as soon as you saw him.

Your cheeks burned with something between shame and timidness as you stood in the doorway and stared at him. Your chin wobbled just slightly and you bit down on your bottom lip. Not even a second had passed before a sharp clap sounded through the room.

“That is all for now. Please, give me and my fiancée some privacy.” Aleksander commanded and you stepped inside of the room to clear a path for the exiting Grisha.

As soon as you were alone, you closed the doors behind you and walked straight into Aleksander’s outstretched arms. You let out a little sob against his chest and god your face against the fabric of his kefta.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your meeting.” You cried and gathered the lapels of his kefta in your fists.

“You do not need to apologize to me, but you do need to tell me what happened. Right now.” He said softly.

You felt his fingers run through your hair and you squeezed your eyes shut, “It’s so stupid, but I was out. Taking my walk. And there were these men following me and it scared me and I was so uncomfortable, and then I saw Zoya and walked back to the palace with her and, and I just wanted you and I was so scared.” You rambled and threw your arms around his neck.

He tightened his grip around your body and he shook his head, saying nothing. You took in the comfort of his scent and his arms and you relaxed a little bit, your tears ebbing away.

Once you were only sniffling rather than crying, Aleksander lifted you into his arms gently and carried you into his bedroom. He sat you on the edge of his bed and he knelt in front of you and took your hands in his own. He held them against his lips for a long while before he sighed.

“No more walking alone. Okay? Not in the forest. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you somehow and it seems as if there is trouble to be had in that forest alone. So please, my love, no more.” He murmured against your hands, and you nodded once, squeezing his hands tightly. He slowly began to pull his hands away from yours and you tightened your grip on them, not wanting him to go away.

“Darling, I’m going to get you some tea and then I’ll be right back.” He said soothingly, in a voice so delicate and soft that it was only reserved for your ears to hear.

You gave him another nod again and slowly eased up your grip on his hands until he was able to pull them away from yours. He gave you a soft smile and then he pressed one kiss to your knee before he rose to his feet and left the room. You slid off of the bed and shrugged your kefta off, leaving you only in your simple black dress and you sat back down on the edge of his bed, awaiting his return.

When he came back moments later, he had a little cup of tea for you and he sat down on a chair in the middle of the room and beckoned for you to come join him. You scrambled off of the bed and walked towards your fiancé and you sat down in his lap eagerly. He pulled your legs up so that they laid across his and he handed you your cup of tea, which you took gratefully.

He pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head and he let out a little sigh, “What am I going to do with you, little love?” He said playfully and pressed a few more kisses to the side of your head.

“Well, for starters, you could keep holding me. All night.” You said as you finished your small cup of tea. He gently took the cup from you and set it aside before gathering you in his arms, and you swore you’d never felt more secure in your entire life than you did in that very moment.

“Alright,” he said sweetly, placing a kiss against your ear, “All night then.”

#grishaverse #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova x you #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova imagine #the darkling x reader #the darkling #the darkling imagine #general kirigan imagine #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes x reader

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 6 months

Text

Young American Finale ^**

AHHHH THE FINALE IS HERE. I had such a hard time finishing this because I think I wasn't ready for it to end, but thus it had to. I hope you guys love this part. A lot happens and of course, the happiest ending for our lovely couple and their little angel of a baby boy 👼🏻

Series Masterlist

Warnings: descriptions of abusive relationships (verbal/emotional). Descriptions of personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder specifically). Descriptions of pregnancy. Fingering and oral sex (fem receiving), use of sex toys, sex (p in v, unprotected), breeding kink, multiple/forced orgasms. Descriptions of labor and delivery process.

WC: 23K

A little recap....

Y/N finds out that Harry has been hanging out with and talking to his ex-girlfriend Chloe for a few weeks. He has been acting very sketchy about it. So at the Sunday roast they are hosting, she borrows his phone and decides to give Chloe a call. Harry gets suspicious and decides to follow her in and finds out she's contacted Chloe...

“Baby, can I use your phone?” Y/N asked as she came up to him and he suddenly felt concern come over him.

“Ummm why? For what?” He asked right away and immediately regretted it because it sounded suspicious. Or maybe he was just being super paranoid.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man.” She explained. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She assured and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He replied and handed it over. She grabbed it and typed in his password but it was wrong and she glanced up to him in confusion, “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry.” She smiled, “You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said looking deep in his eyes, but there was something in them that made him distrust her words and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and typed in the password and handed it over.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and headed inside.

Harry felt so unsettled that Y/N had his phone. He knew Y/N had seen the text Chloe had sent him after the first time they hung out after the cycling class. But she didn’t seem upset or even bring it up again, he hadn’t meant to hide it, but if she didn’t read into it then he was just not going to bring it up. And he really did intend on just closing the door with Chloe, but she was going through a lot and well he had been looking for something to do with his time, so he figured being a friend to her wouldn’t be a bad thing. So they kept hanging out and doing stuff around town. It was completely platonic. He hadn’t given Y/N any reason not to trust him in the past, and well he just…didn’t want to relive the horrors of that relationship with Y/N. Once Chloe got through her rough patch he’d just tell her that they couldn’t be friends. That was genuinely his plan, but he had been so wrapped up in her that he hadn’t realized that just being around her was changing him, the effects were so quick that he was oblivious to them.

He had been lost in the chatter until he realized that Y/N hadn’t brought his phone back for a while. It made him feel on edge, so much so that he quite literally chugged the beer before him and stood up abruptly, startling Skye.

“Alright, mate?” He asked and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, just gonna grab another beer. Anyone else want one?” He asked and his uncle, Julie, and Skye all said yes.

“So you’re drinking again? What happened to solidarity?” Gemma asked and he frowned a bit. He had been drinking again…he didn’t know why that hadn’t really clicked until someone mentioned it to him.

“S’only been two.” He said.

“Try 3.” Gemma said and he looked at her incredulously until he glanced down at the spot before him and saw that he had in fact polished of his 3rd beer already.

“Those are not all mine. We’ve all been drinking.” He said and immediately Gemma and Alyssa exchanged a look of concern.

“No mate, those are yours.” Skye confirmed and everyone laughed a bit and Harry frowned, suddenly feeling really defensive that everyone was laughing at him, “Well, fine. No more for me then. Should I still bring you lot another?” He asked and they nodded. “Coming right up. M’also gonna check on Y/N, she’s been gone too long.” He said and headed inside.

Now he was feeling conflicted and attacked and anxious. He beelined for their current bedroom and the door was closed. And when he tried to open it he found it was locked. He exhaled, jaw taut as he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he tried to listen for any sounds and could hear her muffled speaking.

“Open the door, Y/N.” He said through the wood. It took a few moments before the door opened. It worried him that he couldn’t really decipher the look in her eyes, but all he needed to know was that it wasn’t good. “Who were you talking to?” He asked and she looked at him for a second.

“Does it matter?”

“It does. You said you were going to talk to G and if you weren’t then why did you lie about it?” He questioned her. Just then his phone started ringing and she glanced down to it. She turned the phone towards him and his expression went blank and he swore that all of the blood in his body rushed down to his feet making him feel dizzy and out of sorts.

“Do you want to answer her or should I?” Y/N asked and he didn’t say anything, “I should warn you that I think she’s still calling for me so she might get a bit rude with you.” She said calmly and when he just stood there she shook her head and sighed as she handed the phone over and started to get around him to exit the room.

“What did she say to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t believe half the things she accused you of, she’s clearly psychologically unwell-”

“That’s rude of you to say, she’s just going through a hard time.” He said with a frown and Y/N sighed.

“I think she’s fine. She’s just a liar, Harry.”

“Why would she lie about anything that she’s been through?!” He asked in frustration.

“Because she knows that’s how she’ll reel you back in.” Y/N said simply and Harry frowned.

“She doesn’t affect me like that any more. It’s not like she was going to trick me into leaving you or something! I’m not an idiot!” He snapped and she frowned.

“I didn’t say you were-”

“I was just lending an ear. It was nothing bad!” His voice was raised now in defense when she hadn’t even said one accusatory thing to him.

“If it’s nothing bad why did you go out of your way to hide this from me?” She asked and his forehead creased even deeper in frustration and he sighed and it looked like he would say something but after about a minute of standing there in silence he didn’t say anything more. “OK, well I’m just going to head back outside.” She said quietly and before she could make it out he grabbed her arm.

“I know you saw the first text she sent me. You were looking through my phone. Why were you even looking through my phone?!” He questioned her as he stood in front of the door now.

“I was trying to see if Eddie had good news! After the morning we’d had I just wanted to share some good news with you. And we always look at each other’s phones! It had never been a problem before so I just assumed it was fine to look at your phone.”

“So you saw it, meaning that you’ve known about Chloe since then and you never brought it up. Why didn’t you bring it up if it bugged you? Were you trying to collect evidence against me so you can hold it over my head or leave me?” He asked and she looked at him like he was absolutely mad.

“Where is this about me leaving you even coming from?” She asked him, “I didn’t say anything because up until I saw that message I believed that you had lost track of time and somehow walked all the way to SOHO! I was confused about how I felt and when I started to doubt you I decide to trust you instead and hoped that you would do the right thing. The mature thing and take ownership of your actions and tell me yourself! And when you didn’t bring it up the next day I wanted to show you the message and ask you for clarification but you had deleted it!” She said and his eyes softened a bit.

“There was nothing for me to bring up anymore and I thought that…maybe it was just a quick run in…worst case scenario, a spontaneous and regretful hook up!” She explained and Harry looked hurt that she even thought that, “But then you kept hiding things and lying and I knew you would keep lying about it. I’m really sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy today, but you’ve been deliberately lying to me for weeks and I’ve been going fucking crazy between deciding if I wanted to know what was going on or not! But then I realized that I couldn’t bear to hear something bad from you, so I decided to hear it from her if something was going on.” She said with tearful eyes but she wasn’t going to let a singe tear fall, “And I don’t know why you decided to lie to me, Harry. But if she still means something to you and you wanted her back in your life I would’ve tried to understand. But after all the sneaking around and now that I’ve spoken to her and have heard the way she’s talked about you and the things she’s said about you. Your supposed friend by the way, I don’t want her near you, me, or our baby, ever.” She said firmly and Harry swallowed thickly. “Can I go now?” She asked and he let her go and moved to the side.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked softly and she sighed as she stopped at the door.

“Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She responded

“You have every right to be, but I swear I was just listening to her problems, it was absolutely nothing other than that and-”

“I know. We’re not done talking about this though. We should deal with this when everyone goes.” She said.

“I love you so much and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He apologized.

“Thank you for apologizing.” She said quietly and he nodded.

“Not gonna forgive me though?” He asked as he took her hands and the fact that she let him was a good sign.

“Obviously I will, but I’m still angry at you and I…don’t want to forgive you without clearing things up.” She said sincerely and he chuckled a bit, “I’m being serious.” She pouted and he nodded.

“I know, my love.” He assured, “I’m not laughing at you, s’just a nervous thing.” He said and she shook her head.

“I think I just want to understand why you…went through all these lengths for her before I can move on from this.” She explained her reasoning and he frowned.

“Baby, I can clarify how this even happened but I ummm…I don’t want to talk about why this happened.” He said to her.

“OK, but you need to so that we can clear this up.” She said and he shook his head.

“I can’t. I won’t.” He said to her with certainty and out of every emotion under the sun, the one radiating the strongest off of him was fear. He was afraid to talk about this with her.

“I get that it might be painful and hard to explain it but…whether you’re ready to hear this or not, she was in your head, Harry. She’d gotten in your head and a few more weeks of this and who knows where you’d be!” She explained anxiously.

“How can you even say that?” He asked, fully offended. “I wouldn’t betray you ever! Or just leave you!” He scoffed.

“Maybe not the you that I’ve shared all of this with, but that’s what you were doing though…” she said and he tore his hands from hers, “You were pulling away and you’ve been really weird and cold and dry…like how you were before and…well you’ve been drinking a lot more than your normal, and-”

“STOP IT!” He shouted out of nowhere and she just shut her mouth and he exhaled shakily and licked over his lips as he calmed down for a second, “I understand that I owe you an apology, but you’re not getting an explanation.” He said voice soft but his tone was decisive, his eyes locked intensely on hers. “Do you understand?” He asked and she felt patronized at his question and she shook her head.

“I can’t accept that, Harry.” Y/N responded. “In order to rebuild the trust that’s been broken we need to talk-”

“Well trust me now when I tell you that discussing Chloe and I is not something that will help anything. I won’t talk to her again. It’s all in the past and it’s not going to make a difference now so get it out of your head. Please.” He implored.

“It’ll make a difference to me. Because I need to be sure that this is not going to happen again. And I can hope all I want, but if there is something, some part of you that is still…vulnerable to her-”

“We’re done having this conversation.” He interrupted and walked around her to leave the bedroom. She followed after him as best as she could, but he was walking fast. She frowned when she saw him getting out of his house shoes and opening the door to the entryway.

“Harry, where are you going?” She asked in a panic.

“Maybe to go fuck Chloe and file for divorce while I’m at it!” He snapped sarcastically and she felt her tears start to fall.

“You’re being really shitty, Harry.” She sniffled, but he was so overwhelmed and he felt like she was pushing him and pressuring him to talk about something that he never intended to open up about with anyone.

“Well that’s what you probably think I’m going to do anyway, isn’t it?” He asked her with a scowl on his face and she shook her head.

“No, Harry! But running off is not going to resolve this issue!”

“Well I don’t want to be here right now with all these people while you accuse me of shit I haven’t even done!”

“I’m not accusing you of anything!” She sighed in frustration as he opened the front door, “Harry, if you leave right now I don’t want you to come back until you’re ready to face this.” She admonished and as she looked into his eyes she searched for any indication that he would soften up but he looked away.

“That’s not going to happen, so you can call me when you decide to just let this one go.” He said lowly and he heard a sob break through her throat before she just stormed off. In his stubbornness he decided to just leave. He groaned and wasn’t discrete in his exit, he slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled a bit.

*********

Alyssa was coming inside to go to the bathroom when she heard the door slam and she rushed over to the exit and then looked out the window to see Harry stomping over to his car and getting in roughly. So she headed down the hall to the guest room only to hear Y/N sobbing loudly on the other side of the closed door. She bit on her lip nervously and decided to head out and grab Gemma. More than anyone else, she and Gemma had picked up on the recent changes to Harry’s attitude. It was all reminiscent of his time with his ex, Chloe. They had been the ones who were constantly appealing for him to just let the relationship go, to move on, to come back home…but Chloe was so deep in his head, almost thinking for him! She could manipulate him in ways that were so sinister. And god, she really hoped that Harry hadn’t been stupid enough to have seen her or sleep with her, but whatever this was, it was bad.

“Gem, can you come here for a minute?”

“Where the hell is Harry with our beers?” Her dad asked and she groaned.

“I’ll get ‘em…” Alyssa said and headed off to the kitchen to grab the beers while Gemma made her way inside.

“Do you need help with something?”

“Harry stormed out and Y/N is sobbing in the bedroom.” She said and Gemma frowned. “Can you check on her. I’ll be right there.” She said and Gemma hurried off. Alyssa then made an excuse to get everyone to go home or go hang out at the pub, which is what they all agreed on. Gemma then came back out and shared a look with Aly that told her that whatever this was needed their immediate attention, so she asked Skye to leave the car and she’d just get him from the pub before they went home and he agreed and so they all headed off and that left Aly and Gemma and Y/N in the house.

“Did you talk to her?” Aly asked as she served Y/N a glass of water.

“No, she said to give her a minute to calm down before she wanted to talk about it.” Gemma said and Aly nodded before heading back to her bedroom.

*********

“Hey guys.” Y/N sniffled as she let them in. Alyssa offered the water glass and she took it and drank some down before setting it down on the bedside table and then just sitting on the bed.

“Where did my brother go?” Gemma asked.

“I really don’t know…” she sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “And I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” She confessed and the two women before her nodded, encouraging her to tell them what was going on. “Ummm, so like about three weeks ago we had a little argument over Harry saying he was feeling trapped at home. He was like bored out of his mind and was like trying to get me to do more stuff with him and he basically just wanted to have some fun together before the baby came. But like, I’m just achey and tired all the time and won’t be able to keep up, you know how he is.” She explained and they both chuckled and nodded, “But he had gone off to the gym to just get the need to be active out of his system and like…he was gone for hours.” She explained, “Later that night he was expecting a text from Eddie, but then when I went to go see the message another came in at the same time and I accidentally opened that text and it was from his ex-girlfriend, Chloe and it was…sketchy.” She said and both Gemma and Alyssa sighed in disappointment.

“So he’s been…seeing her?” Gemma asked and Y/N nodded firmly once.

“For the past three weeks.” Y/N confirmed. “Like…I wanted to bring up that text to him because they way she wrote it, it was like insinuating that they had…ummm-”

“HE DID NOT.” Gemma stated with a frown.

“I don’t think he did, but she just wanted to make it seem that way.” Y/N explained.

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s a fucking lunatic! Like completely mad.” Alyssa said and Y/N sighed.

“Yeah, she’s not well…” she agreed, “Well, anyway he deleted the text message before I could ask him about it. He never saved the number so I assumed that if anything had happened it was a one time thing and I decided that I could make peace with that. But there were more texts through the weeks and then he just started deleting them I assume because they suddenly stopped, but he’d always be gone and like he’s just not been himself.” She explained.

“Yeah, I called him out on the drinking earlier and he got so defensive.” Gemma said and Y/N sighed.

“Right, well I misplaced my phone and I asked him for his to call myself and he got really weird about me having his phone. And when he finally gave it over he had changed the password, which is strange because we’ve never been secretive with that, you know? And he…he said Archie had downloaded too many games on it so he decided to change it.” Gemma scoffed when Y/N shared that and she shrugged. “I really was just going to look for my phone but then that happened and I got suspicious so I…I called her to ask her if anything was going on because I’d rather hear it from someone I don’t know than him, you know?”

“What did she say?” Aly asked.

“Well she first pretended that she had no idea he was married and then confirmed that they’d been sleeping together. But she was being a bit inconsistent so I know she’s lying about that, but he’s been spending a lot of time with her. Harry was at the door and overheard I think, but when he came in he told me he was just being nice and trying to listen to her problems. Which I genuinely believe he was trying to be nice, but the woman is obsessed with him and clearly has ulterior motives! And he like started to defend her or whatever and I was just trying to tell him that like…if nothing bad was going on then he didn’t have to hide it and lie about it, you know? It’s just the ease at which he was willing to lie for her that’s really bothering me.” She explained with concern.

“Well of course he lied about it. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about her. Ever. She’s the reason he was a fucking mess! But he literally worshipped the ground she shat on and nothing could ever make him see what it was that she was doing to him.” Aly explained and Gemma snorted on a laugh and Y/N giggled as well at Aly’s chosen expression. “He knew that if any of us found out that he was seeing her again that we would interfere and give him hell for it. That’s why he lied.” Alyssa said with certainty and Gemma nodded.

“OK, so obviously this is…a lot more of a sensitive situation than I thought. Like I knew his previous relationships weren’t great, he’d shared that much, but this is…more than just bad I think? I mean, he tried to apologize but I told him that we needed to talk about what exactly happened that made him feel like he needed to lie before I could properly forgive him and move on from it. Like I don’t want to forgive him and next time he’s struggling he falls into her lap again, you know? Like clearly she knows how to get to him and he’s still susceptible to her! And that’s when he got angry. He said that I wasn’t going to get an explanation and to just take the apology and like…I don’t know, maybe I pushed him too far?” She sniffled.

“Bull!” Gemma cut in, “He needs to explain himself!”

“I agree.” Aly said and Y/N sighed.

“Well Harry doesn’t feel like he needs to. He just said he doesn’t want to revisit it and to just trust that he won’t talk to her again. But like…I saw how she got in his head and just the difference over the last few weeks, I mean, it’s not normal or healthy and that’s when he really got pissed and started to leave and I asked him where he was going and he said-” she stopped as her tears started to blur her vision again and Gemma and Aly frowned, “H-he said that m-maybe he would go and fuck Chloe or ummm…file for divorce s-since that’s what I was assuming he was doing anyway…” she cried and the girls literally gasped upon hearing this. “And I got angry and said if he walked out that I didn’t want him home until he was ready to talk about it and then he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he’d wait for me to call him when I’ve decided to let it go.” She started to cry again and Gemma just hugged her and glanced over at Aly with apprehension.

“I’m really sorry.” She hummed and Y/N just sighed through her tears.

“Like I want to work through this, but I don’t know what I’m truly up against, you know? And like, I didn’t know she was his ex until I called her today and just…the things she said about him were so hurtful and like…I just can’t for the life of me understand why he would choose to interact with someone like that and then defend them like that!?” She said in frustration.

“Well, I know I’m his sister and I love him to death, but this is just the tip of the iceberg of his ugly side if Chloe is involved.” She said and Y/N pulled back and frowned, “Harry was with her for four years. I don’t know what went on in the relationship because he was so far removed from us then, but I know that it wasn’t anything good. That relationship destroyed him. He was already going through so much but that just made it worse and like…as much as he avoided us, we also started to avoid him because he was…awful and mean to everyone when we would even try to understand what was going on with them. We hadn’t spoken for almost a year when I reached out to him again.” She confessed and Y/N sighed.

“I told him he needed to see a therapist after that was over.” Aly said and Gemma nodded.

“I don’t think he ever did.” Y/N said and they sighed, “Like…he’s done a lot of the work himself and like…not that it hasn’t worked, he’s a completely different person even than the version of him I first met. But obviously he works on just what he sees he needs to work on. But like, she knows how to work him and he’s so convinced that she doesn’t affect him.”

“That’s not new…he’s always been in denial about that.” Alyssa said and Y/N wiped her tears away.

“What if he really does what he said and stays away until I change my mind about this? The baby’s coming soon and I can’t do this without him. But I also feel like, if I cave on this…it’s a mistake and I feel like he’s still vulnerable to her and that he will go back the next time something gets difficult. And if something this small had him like this I’m sure that with something bigger she’d somehow manage to turn him against me. I can’t live everyday on edge wondering when is the day that she’s completely won him over and he leaves me!” She expressed sadly with so much frustration bubbling inside of her.

“I know it’s not nearly the same thing as having Harry backing you, but we’re here for you and we’ve got your back on this.” Alyssa said kindly.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Gemma agreed as she gave her a little squeeze.

“Thank you guys. Everyone else didn’t hear the commotion right?”

“No.” Gemma assured.

“Good. The last thing I need is your mom, gran, and Julie ganging up on him when he’s already in a fragile state…” she sighed, “Thank you guys for listening. I felt like maybe I had been really unreasonable with my request to just understand what happened.”

“Not at all unreasonable, it’s just the Chloe-effect.” Alyssa said before making an icky face and Y/N giggled. “Now, I have a serious question for you, Y/N. Are you in need of a pedicure? Because I think we just need to get out of the house for the rest of the afternoon. Help you calm down a bit? Maybe Harry has an epiphany while we’re out.” Alyssa said.

“And if he doesn’t?” She asked.

“Well then at least your feet will be soft and your toenails a cute color.” Gemma said and Y/N smiled.

“Let’s do it then.” She agreed.

***********

Harry had taken a long drive to just think and ended up in Brighton, he had a lot of fond memories there. He didn’t want to talk about Chloe ever again and he could admit that he made a mistake in entertaining her again but he didn’t want to delve into it. He literally hadn’t realized how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone until everything piled up on him today. He was afraid to talk to Y/N about that part of his life because he felt that it would maybe change her view or opinion of him and taint their marriage, if they even had one anymore. Because sure, he was a grouch when he’d met her, but that was tame compared to the person he’d been when he was with Chloe. A part of that came out earlier when he’d said all those awful things to her when she was trying to stop him from leaving. And well, the moment he uttered all of those hurtful things to her he felt so ashamed of himself that he just had to go. She deserved more than a man who had so easily strayed away. She deserved more than someone who deceived her and said hurtful things to her just to get her to lay off.

He was terrified to go back home because he was afraid to prove Chloe right…that he wasn’t capable of loving and nurturing a marriage and much less a child. But whether he and Y/N had anything anymore after this stunt he pulled one thing was certain, he needed to sever all ties with Chloe because even he could recognize that everything started going to shit the second she was back in his life. Once again, he had been seeking her validation. He had intended to just be nice to her, he wasn’t sure at what point the tables turned but they had. He had somehow started out being the one in control and suddenly he wasn’t anymore and it terrified him that he hadn’t even realized it. He needed to just let that go for good, so he dialed her number and she picked up after a few rings.

“Harry, what happened?” She asked him right away.

“Just a huge fucking fight with Y/N…I fucked up and left instead of…giving her that explanation she asked for.” He explained sadly.

“Well, I get why you’re feeling so down all the time now! Your wife’s a real fucking piece of work.” she chuckled.

“Chloe, why would you lie to her about what was going on with us?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because I can see how miserable you are with her, Harry! And I also know you’re too much of a coward to end it. But you have to admit to yourself that this was all a mistake! Because that’s what this whole thing with her is, a mistake. I know you think that you’re cut out for this kind of thing, but you’re not!”

“And why is that?” He asked with a frown.

“Because you’re so… damaged, Harry! How can you be a father when you’re like this?” She questioned. “And I mean this with all the care in my heart, H. I know you think you’re doing better but look at how easily you came back to me! You asked me out, Harry and I accepted. Obviously, deep down you’re not over me and you’re unhappy with your life choices.”

“What? I wanted to catch up and hopefully get some closure, just the one time! But then you started showing up at the gym every day and texting me and asking to see me and talk to me about your problems and your life and I…I felt for you! I just wanted to be a decent person and help you, Chloe. But I…I won’t lose myself in you again.” He stated firmly.

“And do you really think you have anything with her after doing something like this?” She asked him, “Huh? While she’s off somewhere pissed at you, I’m here on the phone with you, because I need you as much as you need me, otherwise you would’ve grown a pair and stayed with her to fix things.” She said.

“This call isn’t for me to vent about the argument I had with my wife. I’m only phoning you to tell you that we’re done. All you ever did was tear me down and make me believe that because I was hurting and not being a great person then that I wasn’t worthy of all of the good things life has to offer. If you loved me as much as you said you did, why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love when I desperately needed it the most?” He questioned and she didn’t respond, “Y/N loves me despite my mistakes, which I can assure you are many, and she loved me despite my hurt. She loved me when I was a miserable and broken shell of myself. She helped bring me back and I will love her eternally and be grateful to her for that forever. And I have everything I want and everything I need with Y/N. I really do wish you the best but-”

“How dare you?” She questioned angrily, “You’re just a good for nothing piece of shit, you’d be so lucky t-” he just hung up the phone and took a deep breath before just blocking her number and it was liberating. He was relishing in his small victory when a text from his mum came in.

Upon reading it he immediately forgot all about what he was thinking and called Y/N. He sighed when her phone rang out and then he tried again and no answer. He didn’t even think twice before he ran off to his car. He needed to make sure she was OK. It was nearly a two hour drive and he had tried her again and Alyssa and then Gemma and Skye and no one was picking up. He was about to call his mum back and ask, but then he’d have to explain that he had actually left and that would open up even more issues.

He got home in record time and the house appeared dark. He rushed inside and looked around and well, her phone was on the bedside table…maybe they had to take her to the hospital and they left in a rush. But they would’ve called him…he groaned and just as he was about to head out again he heard laughing at the door and he rushed to the entry way and saw and heard her, with Gemma and Alyssa. He sighed in relief as they opened the entry way and their smiles slowly fell when they saw him.

“Oh thank god, you’re alright.” He said and she looked at him with confusion, “Mum texted something about a panic attack.” He explained.

“Oh, that was probably from what I told them to get them to leave.” Aly cut in and he nodded.

“Right, well are you alright for now?” Gemma asked her quietly, but he still heard her.

“Yeah. Thank you for all the pampering this afternoon and for taking me to the Barbie movie.” She said with a smile to her and Aly who both hugged her tight. They didn’t fail to glare at him while they hugged her and were soon being escorted to the door. Harry just sat at the staircase as they said goodbye and soon Y/N was coming back in and slipping out of her sandals.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried.” He said as he stood.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She assured and just walked past him and to the bedroom. He waited a bit before he decided to just follow after her, but as soon as he made it into the hallway he saw the last bit of the door close and then heard the lock click. He swore that it absolutely broke his heart to have her reject him this way, but he deserved it. Just seeing the disappointment in her eyes made him want to fix this. He walked up to the door and heard her shuffling around the room a bit.

“Ummm, I’m gonna go sleep up stairs then.” He informed and hesitated a bit before speaking up again, “I know I was…a total fucking asshole today. I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have reacted or left like that. I just…get defensive when it comes to this situation… And I just want you to know that I only love you.” He spoke through the door and just a second later she spoke up, her voice muffled by the door between them as well.

“And I love you too.” She responded softly before he saw the room go dark from the crack under the door. It wasn’t all that late but he’s sure that she was emotionally drained and possibly physically exhausted as well. He went up the stairs and got showered and then into bed.

Harry was so ashamed of himself and everything that came with those horrible four years of his life with Chloe. And he did want to be good enough for Y/N, but evidently there was still a small part of him that believed that he wasn’t and never would be. It’s not like all of the horrible shit he did when he was with Chloe just went away! He felt bad about it every time a memory resurfaced. And the one thing that should’ve made him feel better, but actually made him feel even more like shit was that Y/N still loved him. After everything he’d put her through today, not to mention the last few weeks of deception and even betrayal to some extent, she still made a point to tell him that she loved him. It was crazy to him…he would never withhold his love from her either, but he felt that she provided the good and all he did was hurt her and disappoint her. Even when their paths first crossed she had extended respect and kindness to him when he was awful to her. Maybe if he just explained to her why he was so worried about talking about this she would give him more time to figure out how to share this stuff about his past and how that led to what happened over the last couple weeks. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, fixing things with Y/N was far more important than his shame over his past.

With that new priority at the front of his mind Harry sat up from the bed and got into his slippers, he headed to the stair case and when he reached it he stopped at the top of it when he saw Y/N was on her third step up. They both just looked at each other for a moment before she spoke up.

“Are you really gonna make me go all the way up there after the day I’ve had?” She inquired and his lips split in a small smile and he proceeded to hurry down the steps. With each step he took down his eyes flooded with his tears and as soon as she was within arm’s reach he pulled her close as he sniffled.

“I love you so much, baby.” He sighed in relief at the feeling of her being in his arms again and more than that, she hugged him back.

“I know you do. And I love you too.” She assured him and he pulled back to look at her.

“I don’t think I deserve it sometimes.” He confessed through a sniffle and she frowned.

“We all make mistakes-”

“Well I’m the only one fucking up here and you deserve more than that-”

“I’m not perfect by any means. I lied about…the hot Cheetos and the Jaffa cakes.” She said and he chuckled despite his tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s actually far worse than what I lied about.” He said sarcastically and she smiled up at him. She was hopeful that he was ready to share what had happened. She just wanted to understand him. “Ummm, can we sit to talk?”

“Please.” she said and he chuckled and helped her down and to the couch just in the next room over. He flicked on the lamp they had in there to give the space a nice warm glow and she got comfortable on the couch, her back to the armrest as she brought up her legs up over his and hugged a pillow to her body. Harry sat beside her, his hands on her legs and stroked over them softly as he collected his thoughts for a moment.

“Ummm…first off, again, I am so sorry for lying and hiding things from you. For continuing to see Chloe. For the way I’ve been acting the last few weeks, but more importantly for all of the awful things I’ve done today.” He apologized with a small frown, “I will never let myself forget what happened here, like…” he swallowed thickly, “Obviously it’s not the person I want to be.” He finished, “But in order to explain why I am so…vulnerable to Chloe’s shit…I ummm, I have to talk about my relationship with her and ummm…” He exhaled nervously and when his eyes met hers she could see the anxiety and fear and sadness in them, his hands even started trembling a bit and it absolutely broke her heart, “Baby, I mean this with my whole heart! I want to be able t-to talk about it but I can’t talk about this with you yet. And it’s not a you thing, I honestly have never talked about it properly with anyone.” He explained to her and her frown deepened upon hearing this. He’d been carrying this around all by himself for all of these years? He was certainly stronger than she had given him credit for.

“Being with her, those were the worst years of my life and I’ve learned to just accept what it was, you know? Like I can’t change the past and as much as it is what it is ummm…it still…it still hurts a lot if I think about it too much. And like… I wasn’t the best person when I was with her and like…” he sighed as he just worked up the courage to speak. He started anxiously picking at the sides of his fingers and she reached out and grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her, “Baby, I guess I’m afraid that if you hear how awful I was maybe you won’t feel the same about me or even look at me in the same way. I’m so ashamed about that whole part of my life and that’s why it’s hard to explain to you how this happened. But what I can tell you is that…I think a part of her is still like… she’s still in my head.” He frowned and she did as well, nodding in understanding. “And I have tried everything to just stop hearing her voice in there. Like, I’m already hard on myself but like…this is different. It’s like on a whole different level and it really makes me doubt myself. One thing she’d always tell me was that I wasn’t good enough for a family of my own. That because of my intense grief I wasn’t strong enough of a person to have…well, to have what we have together.” He said and Y/N shook her head in disbelief with a pout.

“She really said that to you?” She asked and he couldn’t bear to look at her as he nodded.

“Yeah. All the time. And I would see the way I’d treat my friends and my family and how…shitty I was and so I…believed it. I believed what she told me and I had made peace with it.” He chuckled sadly, “It was the reason why she “couldn’t be faithful” to me,” he said with air quotes, “Because I wasn’t good enough for a real committed relationship and I think that…when I do something wrong or I…hurt your feelings, like when I told you I felt trapped,” he said and she nodded, “I think ummm…it’s like a confirmation bias, you know? Like everything she said about me was right. Like I wasn’t built for this. Like I don’t…deserve it.” he explained and Y/N’s heart was breaking for him, “I hope this is enough o-of an explanation for you, but that’s all I can talk about right now without feeling like…basically like she’s won. Again.” He explained softly. Just the idea of him feeling like Chloe had won made Y/N’s blood boil in a way she had never felt before. She would equate it to the wrath of god. She couldn’t believe someone would be so cruel on purpose.

“Look at me, H.” She said quietly, his eyes met hers again with some uncertainty. But Harry was relieved that she wasn’t looking at him with pity, like he was broken. There was just love and compassion as she looked at him, “Look at what we have together and how far you’ve come from that! She didn’t win then and she hasn’t won now. You have.” She said to him and Harry just felt the lump in his throat bob violently before he started to sob.

“And yes, what you’ve shared is enough for now and you’re enough for me. More than! Always.” She offered a soft and encouraging smile, “And I do forgive you, baby. And your family forgives you too. And look, that’s all good and well, but I think you might still be so affected by all of this because…you haven’t forgiven yourself.” She explained and his eyes softened as he choked on another sob, “What you said earlier about not forgetting about what happened, I agree that we need to sometimes remind ourselves of past instances where we went about things the wrong way. Like we can’t erase mistakes, they help us learn and do better, right? But it shouldn’t be this thing where you’re holding your mistakes over your head all the time, baby. I love you so much and so does your family, none of us are ever going to hold your shortcomings over your head. So why should you?” She asked him and he shrugged as he gasped for air. “Oh, come here, my love.” She tutted and he just surged forward and nestled into her side as best as he could. “I love you so much.” She said softly.

Sure, he had made things right with everyone else he had hurt and it was enough for a while but he had never gotten around to making things right with himself. And ultimately the forgiveness and acceptance that he needed the most to be able to heal fully was his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do that alone.

“I love you.” He hiccuped, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You mean everything to me. You’re my whole life. You have to know that. I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over as she just held him for several minutes until his crying calmed down enough that he could properly breathe again.

“Baby, when I say this to you it’s just a suggestion and like…I want you to seriously consider it.” She said and he hummed, “H-have you ever thought of meeting with a therapist to like…work through all of this?” She asked and he pulled back and nodded as he sniffled.

“Yeah, I’ve made so many appointments but ummm…I always flake out because I think that…that they’ll get a look at me and be like how does some scary looking guy let another person fuck him up so badly? Like why couldn’t I have just left sooner or like…seen through her shit, you know?”

“Well, first off it’s no one’s place to judge you, specially a therapist. But also, when I said Chloe is not sane, I mean that, like medically.” She said and Harry chuckled and bit through his tears and she smiled, “It really wasn’t an insult to her, like just from the ten minutes I spoke with her it was clear that she has issues of her own to resolve. I’m sure she has the capacity to be a great person, like all people do! And I’m sure that the version of her you first met and interacted with and even…fell in love with wasn’t this.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, not really.” He confirmed.

“I mean, maybe she has her own mental illness that she never talked to you about or something in her past that’s made her this way. But like…if it’s something serious and chronic, like a personality disorder, for example…if you’re not emotionally equipped to handle that, which most people who aren’t trained professionals aren’t, it can be extremely traumatic to have people like that in your life, H. And I will acknowledge that you’ve done a fantastic job of healing on your own and regaining your light and your nurturing and loving nature! Trust me, I see it every single day, baby, and I’m so proud of you for it.” She reassured him, “We all love how hard you love us and value us all, but I think it’s time to do that for yourself too. I mean, just in light of being parents now it’s something to…to consider.” She said and he nodded, “Like…I’ll probably need some therapy too after the fallout with my family. Like, I think about it and I feel so angry at them and I feel…betrayed by them and I want to get back at them somehow.” She explained, “But I don’t want our baby to grow up and see that unresolved anger and spite towards them. Like, obviously what they’ve done has hurt me unimaginably and who knows how long this beef’ll last with them…” she sighed, “But like, it’s OK to feel hurt, but I don’t want to walk around for years being angry and bitter at them. It’s just not healthy, you know?”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He said softly.

“You deserve to heal from this, baby.” She said and he nodded. They were quiet for a few seconds as she let him process all of this.

“Baby? D-do you think if I do…therapy that they’d let you stay with me until I feel comfortable doing it alone?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I think that shouldn’t be an issue.” She assured. “Though with the baby coming soon it might be a little tough.”

“We’ll just do it online for a bit then.” He said and she smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?” He asked and she nodded.

“Of course.” She said and he was careful and he kind of straddled her and leaned in to kiss her lips gently before pulling her into his side and getting comfortable beside her as best as they could with their limited space not he couch.

“You know, you’re the complete opposite of Chloe.” He said softly, “I think that’s why at first I hated you.”

“Hated?!” She gasped playfully and he smiled and shrugged a bit.

“If not hate, it was pretty close to it.” He confessed and she sniggered a bit.

“If I was the opposite, why would you hate me?” She questioned in some confusion.

“Because ummm…you weren’t her. Like I wasn’t in love with her anymore but I did miss the good bits.” He said softly, “I think that first day, after we had that little tiff and then you came back in and apologized? That just threw me off my orbit.” He said through a chuckle, “And I felt like a fucking child…like I didn’t know anything about human interactions. No one had been accountable for their shit and apologized to me in…fuck I couldn’t even remember. It made me angry that you felt I needed an apology because I felt like… I didn’t deserve it so I was a dick to you. Like…almost as if I needed to prove to you why I didn’t deserve your niceties or an apology. And down the line, it’s like, I wanted to see your ugly side but your reactions to my antagonizations were always the opposite of what I expected and…wanted to some extent. But that really shone a light on how badly I was being treated before and seeing you growing and flourishing and everyone liking you from the get-go…for me it was like…everything I’d ever wanted and wished for was being given to someone else. All that support and affection and friendship. Even I liked you, but I was jealous. And then you were so nice to me when I got stood up and it…gave me hope again.” He explained to her and she hummed in acknowledgment, letting him get it all out there.

“That’s when I decided to stop dwelling on what I had endured and just let something good happen to me because I really needed it. I mean, I had no idea what would come of me letting you into my life. Maybe it was just going to be another lesson and loss…” he chuckled, “But letting you in was the best decision of my life, whether it was short-lived or long-haul, I just knew that I would never be the same after you, in a good way.” He smiled and she did as well. “I love you in ways I never knew were possible, even more so now that you’re carrying our little boy, I mean…” he inhaled sharply to prevent himself from crying again but he couldn’t help it and whimpered on a sob before speaking again, “I’m sorry for taking what we have for granted.” He sniffled, “This is really the most special thing two people can do together. And it’s not lost on me that…that I have to prove myself to you now and earn back the trust that I broke. But I promise you that I will work hard every single day to show you two that I’m the person you’ll need me to be.”

“You already do, baby.” She assured him, “And we all get in our heads or make mistakes sometimes. And I want you to know that I don’t expect perfection from you. I just want you to try your best and I’ll try my best.” She said with a smile, “Saw this thing from Brené Brown once about how she and her husband check on each other when they reconvene after their days.” She said and he hummed. “They have a rule that between the both of them they need to make 100% and they have like a limit for what’s passing. So say 80%. Like if one of us had a super shitty day, we focus on taking care of that person and our family. Like maybe we get takeout instead, or do the laundry the next day…whatever it be that we need to put aside, we put it aside and prioritize caring for the partner who is struggling the most.” She explained. “And if both of our scores are less than 80 combined s’the same concept, we just do what we need to do to look after ourselves and put everything else aside.”

“I really like that.” He said and she nodded.

“Me too. And like…I feel like maybe I’m a bit too emotionally attached to your grandma because of what happened with mine, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, I’m also starting to just think a lot about delivering the baby and sometimes I feel like…what did I get myself into…” she said through a little chuckle.

“Oh, as do I.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…I’m terrified.” She admitted, “I also feel like maybe I might not be cut out for this sometimes and it’s not like I regret it, but sometimes I wonder if we moved into this too soon or…I don’t know, I just get in my head.” She explained and he frowned upon hearing this, “So I think, we’ve both been…struggling on our own for a while and not really communicating that to not worry the other. When in reality we’re supposed to be in this together and share the load and the worries and the joys. So I’m more than willing to just…have this last month just be us working this out together and preparing for our baby together.” She said and he smiled.

“Really?” He asked and she hummed, “And this has nothing to do with the fact that gran’s cleaned you out at gin every day last week?” He asked teasingly and she laughed.

“Well, just a bit.” She admitted and he chuckled, “But mostly because I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” She confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I’ve missed you too. I have one condition though.”

“OK. Name it.”

“No more knitting. Please.” Harry pleaded with a small laugh.

“Fine…was planning on making you some slippers but-”

“I’m not an OAP! I don’t need knitted slippers. Also, they have no traction, so unless you want me to die tumbling down the stairs or something, no thanks.” He laughed and she giggled as well.

“Yeah, definitely not. So no knitting. I also have a condition.”

“Alright, name it and it’s done.”

“Brilliant! You’re going to tell your grandma about it just being us from here on out.” She said and he scoffed through a humorless laugh.

“Absolutely not. I can’t hurt her feelings like that…no way.”

“Well I can’t either! We’re besties!”

“We’ll draw straws.” He suggested.

“Baby, I’m pregnant. In such a delicate state, you can’t put such a stressful task on me. Besides, I already have to do the most grueling and difficult task bestowed upon a human being in just five weeks…so, I think you should take one for team Styles.” She said and he sighed loudly.

“You’re pulling that card are you?” He asked and she hummed smugly as she nodded and he chuckled, “That’s so mean.”

“I will while I can. Every. Single. Time. And you can take that to the bank.” She smirked.

“Fine…I’ll break up with my gran for you but you owe me big time for this…A favor of my choosing at the time of my choosing.”

“OK.” She agreed and he smiled and sighed happily as he relished in the feeling of her beside him once again. She literally was the best person he knew. They had fallen silent for a bit before his voice put an end to the quiet.

“My new passcode is your due date, 1707.” He said softly, “I changed it 2 weeks ago actually, before all of this because Archie really did download like 10 games and also managed to purchase like fifty pounds worth of something on one of them.” He clarified and she smiled. “And…Chloe’s first text actually has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Which is that we biked to SOHO, on those electric bikes? After we’d grabbed a coffee.” He said and she started to giggle, “Also we both happened to attend the same indoor cycling class…that’s how we saw each other again. So after an hour of that and then randomly biking to SOHO and back-”

“Pelvic floor and leg pain guaranteed…” Y/N cut in and he nodded, “God, cycling is just the worst.”

“It’s just not for everyone.” He said and she smiled.

“Just for sadomasochists.” She joked and he laughed.

“Should we go to bed?”

“Yeah, baby.” She hummed.

He was so happy they had been able to talk before the day was out. After this experience and conversation with Y/N, Harry mentally decided that he wouldn’t be so scared to communicate with her ever again. It never really went how he imagined it would. He was a classic self-saboteur and over-thinker, so he would picture the worst case scenarios more often than not. But Y/N always put all of her effort to listen and understand him and she was always patient and loving in her responses. She had proven it to him time and time again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he felt so lucky to be loved by her.

**********

The next day Harry had a conversation with his grandmother when he drove her back to his mum’s house. He came clean about everything and the reason why they needed this time alone together. She was understanding, of course, but did give him a bit of a talking to though. However, she too told him that she loved him when they said goodbye.

In lieu of her being over all day though, they decided to just ask her, his mum, and Julie over for dinner a couple times a week and that had actually been really pleasant. It gave Harry a chance to really brush up on his cooking skills, because Y/N and Julie had him spoiled back in LA. But soon enough he’d have to look after Y/N while she recovered from the baby. And tonight they were having dinner alone, but he decided he’d make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. It had been a childhood favorite of his and well, he hadn’t eaten it in nearly 8 years since he had chosen to be a friend and ally to the animals. But as he smelled it coming together he decided to cancel making one with meat substitute for himself and just indulging this time with her.

“Smells fantastic.” She hummed her compliment as she came into the kitchen slowly.

“Thank you, baby. I think you’re really gonna like this one.” He said as he continued washing the things he had used to prepare the dish. She walked behind him and lightly scratched at his back a few times before she passed him and went to the fridge. “What’re you looking for in there? Food’s about to be ready.”

“You had brought some cheese yesterday and I wanted a bit.” She said with a little smile and he chuckled.

“Sorry baby, s’in the food.” He explained and she pouted.

“Alright then…no snack for me.” She mumbled before turning back and walking back over to him.

Harry smiled when she hugged her body around his, her cheek smushed into his back before she kissed it a few times and then smiled, being just a bit of a bother as he tried to finish cleaning up, but he didn’t mind her clinginess.

They had been working really hard to patch up everything form before. Not just him, but her too. Sometime’s he’d find her crying over a new stretch mark or her achey boobs, or just from feeling so physically drained, or nervous about delivering the baby. He had no idea that she had been struggling on her own like this. The first few times she got embarrassed for it, but she still let him be there for her through it. And with him it was more of that fear he had about his ability to be a good father. He’d share his concern and doubts and they’d work through it together like a proper team, and just like that things were on the mend. Truly, being there at every moment, experiencing the way life was just coming into their little baby boy was tethering them to each other in ways that he never knew were possible. It was extraordinary to witness and even on the hard days they never failed to take a moment before bed to just be grateful for the life they had together.

… JULY …

Y/N’s due date was in two weeks and she and Harry had once again taken a drive to the hospital she was supposed to give birth at to really nail down the fastest route possible. She couldn’t really move so much now so they just went to the class to bounce on the yoga balls and socialize with the other people and to do the meditations and affirmations portion of it all. Harry could see the way it improved her confidence so he made a point to not miss the class. Being there he’d also started to make friends with some of the other non-birthing partners in the class. He’d even met up for lunch with a few of them once already and planned to continue nurturing those friendships. And well, he knew he could also count on Skye and Nathan to talk about these things if he ever had doubts. He loved how supportive Y/N was of him also needing to build his connections with other young and new fathers.

“I think the route we took yesterday was better.” Harry said as they pulled into their street.

“This one seemed shorter, no?”

“Technically yes, but I’ve noticed that they do construction at night and it gets backed up. So if the baby comes in the night it would be best to go the other way. We’d be taking more main streets, so the traffic lights will be in our favor.” He pointed out and she hummed.

“Good, strategic thinking, Mr. Styles.”

“Thank you, I try.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him, baby.” He said with a wide grin.

“Neither can I! I just…I want to hold his little hand. He’s been a good baby so far, not throwing any crazy ragers in here.” She said and Harry nodded through a chuckle.

“Right. Mum said I was pretty even tempered until I was a toddler. Do you know if you were?” He asked her, glancing over to her quickly.

“Not too sure.” She responded. “I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot.” She said and he reached for her hand and she offered a tight lipped smile. Harry knew this was a very difficult and painful subject for her to broach.

“Yeah? With the baby?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed, “I wish they were happy for us. For me…” she said glancing up at him quickly and he nodded. “Ughh, I don’t even know why it bothers me anymore!” She groaned in frustration, “It’s not like they’ve been present for the last 6 years of my life.” She mumbled.

“It’s your parents, baby. Of course it’s going to bother you.” Harry reasoned. “I know you don’t want contact but maybe if you’re up for it we can send a Christmas card for the holidays you know? That way they can see you’re doing good and also see Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I don’t want them to ever tell me I never tried, you know?”

“Exactly. I think it’s important that we do things like that. To show them that they’re still on our minds but that also, we’re doing really well. Just the right balance of considerate and petty.” He said with a little grin.

“Yeah, that’s so true.” She giggled. “I’m curious, what do you think will be your greatest strength as a dad?” She asked him and this made Harry smile as he thought about it.

“Hmmm…I don’t know…” he wondered aloud, “I haven’t thought of it.” He said honestly, “Maybe…ummm…” he said again and when she glanced over at him he was slightly frowning now. “Dunno, can’t think of anything.” He finally said lowly, as if disappointed in himself for not knowing and she was quick to scoff at his self doubt.

“Well I’ve thought about it a lot.” She said with a smile as they turned onto their street. “You’re really great when things get challenging, which I’m sure they will at some point, so I think you’d be the one who remains calm more than me. You’re also very patient, which I know will come in handy for…well the rest of our lives.” She said and he smiled, “You’re also really good at admitting your mistakes and doing what needs to be done to correct them, which is huge! I think responsibility and accountability are excellent traits to model for kids. You’re also the one with self-discipline and have far more structure than I ever will, and kids thrive on structure; you’re definitely going to be the parent that makes rules fun. You’re also very intelligent and a fast learner, and so open to change, so I think you will adjust a lot faster than I will to a baby. You can be fun and silly, which I think is one of my favorite things about you, you know when to be and when not to be.” She pointed out.

“I also think that the way you show your love is also very admirable and wholistic. Like you’re very adaptable with it based on the person’s needs. So if that means doing something for someone, carving out some time in your day for something, or just giving a cuddle when needed you’d do it. Literally, you’re so supportive, you do whatever it takes to show someone you love that you care about them.” She said, “Ughhh, you’re gonna be the best dad, H.” She said with a big smile as he parked the car in front of their garage and turned to her with a big smile as well.

“Wow, thank you. I got a little scared for a moment there…” he confessed, “Maybe I am very cut out for this.”

“Oh certainly.” She nodded.

“And you? What do you think you’d be best at?”

“I think I’m very patient as well, maybe not as much as you, but it’s up there.”

“I mean, you deal with me so I’d say you’re excellent at patience.” He said and she giggled.

“OK, well that…I also think I’m very good at empowering others and encouraging independence. So I think I’d be able to teach Charlie how to be capable and self-sufficient. I think I’m a great listener and very supportive. And I think that I’m good at communicating, so teaching Charlie right from wrong, boundaries, expectations…and of course, I think I would be able to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally, which in the end is really the most important thing we could do for him, I think. I’ll definitely have to learn how to be a bit more firm from you, but other than that I think we’ve got mostly all the bases covered!” She said gleefully.

“I love you so fucking much.” Harry said with a loving smile.

“I love you too.” She hummed back happily and then her smile dropped a bit, “I’ve also been thinking about…like, if…” she exhaled shakily, “Like god forbid something goes…wrong-” She said and Harry’s good mood immediately melted away as he shook his head.

“Don’t even say that, Y/N…Please, Jesus…” He frowned with a disapproving shake of his head. Quite literally rejecting the idea verbally and physically.

“Like…I know it’s awful to think about but you just never know what the future holds and I just…I want you to know that if for any reason you’re faced with a difficult decision I want you to know that I fully trust you to do what you think is best.” Y/N stated as she reached for his hand and he glanced over to her, already feeling anxious at the prospect of anything going wrong. “I just…need you to promise me that you’ll trust your gut and know that I trust you too, with my life, babe. Always.” She said emphatically and he swallowed down that anxiety and nodded.

“OK. I promise.” He agreed solemnly and she offered a tight-lipped smile to him.

“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. It’s going to be fine, everything looks great, you’ve heard the doctor say it as well. But just…just in case, you know?”

“OK.” He said before bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before expelling all of the negative thoughts now with a deep exhale.

“I’ve ruined the appetite for lunch, haven’t I?” She said monotonously and Harry’s lips quirked up in the biggest grin ever, “What?” She asked at his sudden shift in mood.

“That was maybe the most British-sounding thing you’ve ever said! It’s exciting!” He chuckled and she groaned.

“Oh god, please stop me before I become one of those people with a fake accent…” she mumbled and he laughed.

“I think you might develop one over time…I mean, if this is your home now a couple things are bound to rub off.” he shrugged with a satisfied little smirk.

“I know that, but just as long as I don’t sound like an idiot…”

“Oh you will for a bit, but we’ll love you just the same.” He assured with a grin and leaned over to kiss her lips despite the little pout on them, “OK, my excellent comedic timing and humor have helped me regain appetite. C’mon, my love.” He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before undoing his own and hurrying over to help her down from the car.

Their afternoon was pretty quiet and now Y/N was having a nice cool bath before bed. Sure, it wasn’t LA hot, but try carrying around all of the extra weight and tell someone that 77 degrees isn’t scorching hot. Not to mention, their house wasn’t a new build so they didn’t have AC, much to Y/N’s chagrin. If there was anything she missed about LA it was that, even Julie was struggling because she preferred sleeping in the cold. So the next best thing was to just sit in a cool bubble bath for a bit so that she could be refreshed before getting into bed. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her tossed back, relaxing against her bath pillow as Harry’s shower playlist and his singing along filled the bathroom with a joyous sound. Wings’ “She’s My Baby” faded out as he switched off the water and there was a second of silence before the unmistakeable chords of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” came through the speakers.

“Woo!” Harry exclaimed in excitement and it made Y/N’s eyes flutter open as she laughed at his very enthusiastic reaction to the song. “I believe in miracles…where you frooo-om, you sexy thing? You sexy thing you.” He sang as he sashayed out of the shower and into her line of sight. She glanced over to him, shaking her head and fighting to hold in her laughter because he was stark naked, dancing in the bathroom as he serenaded her, “I believe in miracles since you came alo-o-ong, you sexy thing!” he sang now while pointing straight at her as he approached her; his toned body rolling smoothly as he danced his way over.

“Please be careful, you’re gonna slip!” She warned through her giggling as he came over to the tub.

“Where did you come from, baby?” He sang with a theatrical, inquisitive expression over his face as he tilted her chin up, “How did you know, I needed you? How did you know I needed you so badly? How did you know I’d give my heart-Oh shit!” He gasped, his eyes wide with fear as he slipped in his own puddle of water just as he was trying to step into the tub.

“I’m telling you to be careful!” She laughed as she shook her head and scooted up, hugging her knees to her body as much as she possibly could to let him slide into the bubble bath with her. When she felt his warmth behind her she stretched her legs again and fell back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head against hers.

“Now you’re lying close to me giving it to meee-eee!” He continued singing against her as if he hadn’t almost eaten shit, “I believe in miracles…” he hummed as his hands left her bump and grabbed her thighs, “Where you from, you sexy thing?” He whispered now against the shell of her ear with a grin as his fingers inched towards her inner thighs.

They hadn’t actually done anything physically intimate for her in maybe three months, if not very close to that. And it wasn’t for lack of need, just the mechanics of it were getting weird for Y/N. She was eager to do anything for Harry, who didn’t want to accept unless she would allow him to reciprocate. But she’d always end up convincing him one way or another to at least accept a blowie or even just a hand job because lately his pleasure was enough for her. She just had this like…mental block when it came to her pleasure right now. She couldn’t concentrate enough to come for a lot of reasons. Like one time, they had tried to have sex and he was spooning her and she was starting to get close when the baby started to kick and it just got weird for her.

She obviously knew that physically Harry’s dick and their baby were nowhere near each other, but having both of those things happen simultaneously just killed the mood for her. She felt like they weren’t alone and it just made having an orgasm hard. Like did the baby feel what was going on? Or did all the chemicals her brain released from the pleasure make the baby more active? She had no idea, so she googled it…apparently they did feel something and after learning that it just got harder and harder for her. But did she want it, yes, and badly!

Harry was in a bit of a frisky mood himself. Over the last few weeks that they'd been spending alone, preparing for the baby, he had been experiencing these emotions he wasn't all that familiar with. He felt so possessive and protective of her right now, but in a way that made him lust after her. He knew that she didn’t feel gorgeous and radiant most of the time now, like she had at first, but to him she was the pinnacle of beauty, especially now. He loved how strong and powerful she was in every capacity. He appreciated the new things he learned her body could do and how it adapted and changed as she literally nurtured their son to life. He felt so proud of her, but also of himself. Lately it made him all hot and bothered to know that she was carrying his baby, that he had done this with her, to her. That everyone knew this when they’d go to yoga or out on walks or to run errands together. Y/N was beautiful, anyone with the ability to see it could see that, so when anyone would steal a glance of her and then see her bump while he protectively loomed over her they’d know that she was all his and that just made him feel feral and so fucking cocky.

He’d never given much thought to how real the theory of evolution was, but this innate and almost animalistic need to protect what was his, to show off what he’d done with her, to take care of her and their son, it was instinctual. It came from some unearthed primal part of himself that he didn’t know he had until now. And Harry loved this new side of himself and knowing that his precious and sexy little wife had a breeding kink basically had him simmering all the time. Sure, she was having a hard time orgasming as of late, but as he nipped at her earlobe while his fingers felt the slimy texture of her around as he dipped his fingertip at her opening, he knew that she wanted it badly and he was going to give that to her. He was happy to revisit some of their kinkier preferences to help her surrender to her pleasure.

“Baby…” she whispered as he guided his slicked up finger to her clit and swirled it around it, teasing her just a bit before she wriggled a bit and he took the hint to rub over her sensitive and surely needy little bud. Harry was relishing in the satisfied exhale that had her melting against his body.

“I know it’s been hard, but you’re going to come for me.” He mumbled lowly and she moaned, “Remember before? I’d just keep going until you couldn’t help but come for me? That’s how we’re gonna do this. Fuck, I need to taste you, my love. Need it so bad.” He groaned as his cock started to stiffen up at the idea of getting to lick and lap at all her sensitive spots until she was writhing in pleasure beneath him.

“Fuck, please H.” She sighed breathily and he smiled as he brought his left hand up to her breast.

He was gentle as he squeezed it in his palm and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth, feeling it growing harder and harder with each rub over it. She was already so sensitive there as her body got closer and closer to her due date. She was just so tender that his touches soon started to overstimulate her sensitive nipple until she was gasping. She could feel her clit throbbing and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to just focus on the pleasure, to not lose that spark that was flickering inside of her.

“Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed as his other hand came to her right breast. Her nipple already peaked from the pleasure she was experiencing, but when he started teasing that one as well she started to spark up. “That’s it, baby. Feel how good it is?” She nodded as she whined out lowly at just how overwhelming it was starting to feel. Her nipples ached and her back was slightly arching into his touch and out of nowhere he pinched them between his thumbs and index fingers. She choked on a groan before he let go and she was panting in relief as her body relaxed against his, “Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, but in a good way.” She responded lowly as two of her fingers swirled and brushed over her clit.

“‘In a good way?’” He teased her haughtily, repeating her own filth back to her, “Made you a wife and a mum, a nice respectable woman, but nothing’s gonna change the fact that you’re a filthy little slut for me, will it?” He teased and she whimpered as he pinched at her nipples again, “I know she’s still in there, my favorite little freak. That perfect little cum slut that took every fucking load, like a good girl.”

“Harry-” she swallowed thickly as she felt her body starting to burn from the inside out. Wincing at the pressure being applied to her sore nipples once again.

“And look at you now, pregnant with my baby for being such a desperate and needy little thing…” he mused, “And you’re as beautiful as the day I first saw you and then some.” He smiled, “Fuck, it drives me insane knowing that I did this to you. You’re all mine, aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Say it. Tell daddy, you’re his.”

“Yes, I’m all yours, daddy.” She whimpered as her legs started to tense up as her pleasure increased.

“Yes, you are. Always gonna take such good care of you, my love.” he promised. “I’m gonna need you to get out of your pretty, little head and let me do just that.” He purred.

Before she knew it, he was helping her onto their bed so that she was reclining against the headboard and he kissed her sloppily before dropping down to his tummy and kissing in between her legs. His tongue was flicking at her clit over and over and over again. He was aiming to get her from sharp inhales to animalistic moans. How she had missed his mouth…she obviously hadn’t been in the mood to maintain herself as religiously as before and she knew Harry didn’t mind, but she was a bit embarrassed about it too. But feeling his mouth and tongue zealously working to get her off she threw out all the shame she felt. He really didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Please use your fingers.” She mumbled and she moaned in relief when he fit two of his long, thick digits into her entrance. He expertly massaged her walls with them, finding and stimulating her internal pleasure points before curling his fingers up and settling at her g-spot. It had been so long that she almost immediately started to lose it. She was so sensitive and eager for an orgasm. She wished she could properly see him, but the bulge of her belly was mostly in the way, she couldn’t even comfortably grab his hair or head, this caused for her legs to kick and writhe as she had no other way to express her pleasure. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so close!” She gasped and he moaned against her pussy before gently sucking at her clit until her legs were trembling and she was coming undone with a scream of his name. “Fuck Harry!” She wailed as he kept going despite her sensitivity. Her head was thrown back and she was whimpering at the overstimulation as he refused to come to a stop. Soon the torture morphed back into pleasure as she surrendered herself to the idea that Harry was set on making up for lost time right now.

“Oh my god, don’t stop…please, don’t stop!” She whispered breathlessly as her fingers dug into the bed covers until her knuckles were white. Harry’s moans seemed to be reverberating through her entire body as his fingers plunged deep into her and fucked her sweet spot until once again, she was crying out as her orgasm crashed over her. Rolling her in beautiful currents of pleasure. His continuous movements were drawing out the delicious, ticklish feeling that was bursting from her tummy through her body. “Mmm, that’s so good.” She hummed as he started to just lap over her clit, gradually coming to a slow to ease her out of it. Her breathing was ragged as the aftershocks of her orgasm caused her legs to twitch and tingle.

“You alright there?” He asked smugly as he kissed her inner thigh.

“More than. Wow, thank you.” She giggled breathily and he smiled before pressing himself up and leaning over her to kiss her lips quickly.

“Can I reciprocate?” She mumbled against his lips.

“Fuck no.” he hummed and she chuckled.

“Baby, please…” she begged.

“We either have sex or the blowie. And I’d much rather do the things that will get the both of us off. Unless you’re done.” he mumbled against her lips.

“Not done, just don’t know if I could even come from penetration.” She explained, “So I’d rather you get to come properly than to keep trying to make me finish that way when I don’t even think I will.” She reasoned.

“Well good thing I got you a little something to help.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he drew back. “Wait here.” He hummed before pecking her lips once more.

“Not a problem.” She assured him as he hurried off of the bed, “Don’t even think I could move from this position.” She said to herself. She was so over being pregnant that she wasn’t even too concerned about the birthing part, she just wanted her body back for herself. She wanted to be able to move how she wanted, to walk around without feeling like every step she took created a small scale seismic event, she wanted to stop feeling swollen and tired. She wanted to sleep on her back, even if she never really had before, but she just missed having the option! She was about fucking ready.

“OK, so I got you this.” He said coming out with a pink silicone vibrating ring. It had little bunny ears though, which she deduced were for her clit. Harry had always been the one to bring toys into their sexual life and each time she’d been blown away, so she knew this time would be no different. “S’got 5 speeds.” He said as he climbed back on the bed, kneeling before her. “You can wear it so you can control it.” He said and she nodded, reaching out for it to inspect it.

“Well, thank you.” She giggled in amusement and he chuckled.

“Course, baby.” He responded with a smile.

Shifting from their typically intense and fiery preferences when they had sex, Harry was gentle and slow paced. He’d never been one to rush into things, but right now he was doing everything he possibly could to help her relax so that she could be in a headspace where she was enjoying every bit of this instead of worrying about everything. Harry’s lips kissed up her arm, making her smirk at the tickle from his scruffy facial hair. As he trailed up her neck she let her head roll to the side to give him space to suck and smooch at her neck to his heart’s content. His hands had made their way to her breasts, gently massaging them, easing the soreness that she’d been feeling more intensely over the last weeks. She was about to have his baby, she should allow herself to spoiled by him. She sighed as he licked over her nipple before sucking gently, letting his tongue flit about.

“Just not too hard.” She whimpered when he got lost in it and bit down on her a bit.

“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled before moving to the other, “You can start using your ring by the way.” He said and she giggled breathily before fiddling with it to get it on. In the meantime, Harry started suckling at her other nipple, making her impatient to get the fucking thing on. When it switched on she immediately got the chills as she watched the little “ears” buzzing vigorously.

“Help me, yeah? I can’t actually see down there.” She said and he popped off of her with a chuckle and pulled back to help her position it over her clit perfectly. He smirked when she gasped as the ear vibrated the whole of her clit. She was already sensitive from the orgasms he’d given her with his mouth. Even on the low setting, it was intense and he glanced up to see her eyebrows pinched together as her clit was basically embraced by the vibrator. “I’m coming!” She mewled and he couldn’t help but laugh in delight as she started to pull it away, but he held her hand there until her legs were trembling and she was screaming, convulsing and out of control. “Baby!” She gasped.

“You can do it. Give yourself another one.” He said with wild eyes and she shook her head. Of course she wanted another one, but she was getting pummeled by these orgasms, she’d been without them for so long that they felt monumental to her. “Or should I turn it up and make you?” He asked and she moaned and just tossed her head back as she waited for it to build up again. When she felt him sinking his fingers back into her sopping entrance she knew she was done for.

“Fuck me!” She gasped when he curled them into that spot only he seemed to have found. He was diligent as he prodded into it without pulling his fingers out too far. She exhaled shakily as she felt her orgasm building again. And he smiled before going just a bit harder, “Fuck baby, just like that! Fuck, don’t stop!” She pleaded.

“Yeah? Gonna come for me?”

“Yes! Yes…fuck you’re gonna make me come!” She panted and moments later her muscles were contracting around his fingers. Squeezing and retracting harshly as she grew sticky with her come. The wet sounds of his fingers inside of her growing louder as her orgasm started peaking. He could feel her hips following his movements until she started to come down from it. The pulsing of her inner walls becoming more and more sporadic. When she finally opened her eyes he let go of her hand and she pulled the vibrator away as she swallowed thickly to catch her breath.

“Good?”

“So good.” She sighed with a smile as with drew his fingers from her. He glanced down to see them absolutely coated in her arousal and come. He reached down to his cock, already dribbling with precum and smeared her sticky, milky mess along his shaft.

“Fuck.” He cursed lowly. He was way too hard, he felt the ache shooting down to his swollen balls. He was back to not getting himself off, only would come when she’d do something for him, so he was overdue for his own orgasm and his excitement was evident of it.

She couldn’t necessarily see between her legs to get a view of him stroking his cock, but she bit her lip hard and watched as his muscular arm shifted back and forth with his strokes. It was like the perfect tease. She had seen his cock so many times that she could just imagine how he was stroking it, how he’d thumb over the tip to smear his precum down and lubricate his cock for a better glide. His eyes were honed in on her pussy. She imagined it was pobably, pulsing and glistening with the evidence of her orgasms. When his eyes raked up her body he smiled.

“Damn, look at you.” He groaned, there was a hunger in his eyes that she’d never seen before. “Look so fucking perfect.” He said and she smiled, “It just makes me…so fucking crazy that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He said and she realized what was going on.

“Yeah?” She asked quietly and he nodded. “It gets you off that you knocked me up?” She asked, playing along and he nodded. “S’what you wanted, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Fuck yeah, thought about it so many times.” He hummed as he started stroking faster. “Thank fuck I did. You’re exquisite.” He said. “Can’t wait to do it again.” He smirked friskily and she chuckled.

“Please fuck me.” She said and he nodded. He helped her onto her side and laid behind her and helped her get a bit more comfortable.

Y/N’s heart was pounding with excitement just from feeling his big cock smushed against her backside. He help position her hand with the vibrator back over her clit. She whimpered and struggled with keeping it there, already clutching to the bedcover to not get too carried away yet.

Harry was taking his time, thrusting between her legs, wetting his cock with all of her slick. The squelching sounds of it all were enough to make her dizzy. She lived for the feeling of his tip catching against the dip of her entrance over and over with increasing speed until his arm wrapped around her body to pulled her flush to his body and then he just plunged inside all the way and she gasped at the sudden, but most welcomed intrusion. He moaned lowly and buried his face in the back of her neck, biting down gently as he started to thrust slow and deep. She forgot how thick he was as he split her walls apart with his methodical thrusts. She could hardly make any sounds as her body vibrated with pleasure. The bulbous head of his cock was colliding into that spot where his fingers had been and she was literally seeing stars. Harry could tell he was getting her off as her walls started to squeezing him, attempting to keep him in place.

“So. Fucking. Tight like this…” he strained out in pleasure. She was so wet and hot, and with her legs squished together her walls felt so pillowy and mushy around his cock. He swore he was losing brain cells from how incredible she felt around him. Harry was fighting every instinct in his body that was screaming for him to just pound into her mercilessly. But that very self-control was getting him off. God, he’d missed having her like this…he missed her body. He knew that she missed this too. Especially as she begged for him to go just a bit harder and when he obliged she moaned loudly and he smiled.

“Yes H, just like that…just like that, baby.” She mewled.

“Oh, I’m so fucking close. Please baby. Please come for me.” He panted.

Y/N was so close to coming undone. Her body was teetering over the edge, her toes curling as she clung to that sharp strike of pleasure she’d get every time Harry’s cock collided into her spot.

“Fuck…fuck, honey.” He rushed out and started grinding into her and that’s when she lost it.

Her vision was growing blurry and her jaw was falling slack as her orgasm hit. Y/N tossed her head back against his shoulder as a wave of ecstasy just washed over her. She saw white and her ears started ringing and her legs trembling in response. Her breathing was caught as her orgasm coursed through her like fire in her veins. She pulled the vibrator away as it was starting to be too much, but it didn’t do much since Harry was now about to come.

Harry stilled deep inside of her and she could feel the intense twitches of his cock inside of her as heavy spurts of his sperm shot out of him, filling her up. She let out a scream of pleasure that she hadn’t heard before as just feeling that inside of her made her come again, a g-spot orgasm…it had her already frazzled mind fracturing. Harry started thrusting erratically as he filled her up, milking out every drop he could inside of her. His praises and curses were spurring her on further and how she wished that she could’ve watched his face as his brain melted with that orgasm. She could feel him leaking out of her with each thrust now, wetting her thighs and surely making a mess of the bed beneath them until he slowly came to a halt.

“Had so much for me, didn’t you?” She whispered breathlessly and he nodded, swallowing thickly as he caught his breath.

“If you weren’t already pregnant with my baby, you sure would be now.” He panted as he held her close and then kissed the back of her neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.” He hummed before kissing down her shoulder. His hand found hers and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you too, baby.” She smiled happily, “Thank you so much for all of the effort you put into this. I needed it.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Course. Anything for my girl.”

***********

The last week had been hard. Y/N swore she’d been going into labor a couple times only for her to make it through the days without anything more happening. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained, she just needed to get their baby out of her body as soon as possible. She was starting to get contractions, little ones, that really had no effect on her yet but then on the 14th, the mucus plug started to fall out. She did freak out when she first found traces of it in her underwear and after extensive googling she realized what it was and started to mentally prepare for the baby coming soon. And then on the 16th it’d been nearly the entire day of small contractions. But they weren’t necessarily getting any worse, they were bothersome, but not advancing or coming at a faster pace, but regardless she was vigilant and Harry was obsessively timing them. But when nightfall came and they remained consistent to how they had been they decided to just go to sleep.

Y/N woke up a bit after midnight because she was having this dream where she was giving birth. And as she started to wake up she felt a growing pain and then lots of pressure in her pelvis. She was passing it off as the baby moving or maybe her contractions were getting stronger. But then her eyes opened wide when she suddenly felt her pants growing warm as she soaked them through and the bed beneath her as well. She was wide awake now upon realizing that her water had just broken.

“Shit….” She grumbled as she threw the covers off and tried to hoist herself up but was struggling. “Harry.” She said, reaching for him and patting at his arm.

“Hmmm?” He grumbled tiredly.

“You need to help me up, my water broke!” She said to him and he just grumbled.

“That’s ok. You’re ok.” He mumbled groggily and then she chuckled and reached to her bedside table to turn on her lamp.

“Baby, please wake up. It’s almost time. Our son is coming soon!” She said with more volume and that seemed to get his attention as he sat up in a panic. “Hey, hey, relax.” She said as he looked discombobulated as can be.

“You said the baby is coming. Or was it a dream?” He asked looking completely out of sorts. Hair wild and eyes heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, he’s coming. My water broke just now.” She informed and his eyes widened as he looked down at her lap.

“Oh my god. Oh my god…OK.” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. “D’you wanna head straight there or have a quick shower so you’re nice and refreshed, or what do you want to do?” He asked her in slight panic.

“This is the first big one, I don’t think we can even be admitted yet. Let’s just have a shower and get ready to go for when they come quicker.” She suggested and he nodded.

“Yeah, OK.” Harry nodded.

“Knew I should’ve done it before bed.” She mumbled and he smiled as he hurried over to her side to help her out of bed. He was moving fast and she grabbed his hands while he reached for her body to help her and he looked to her with confusion.“Come here.” She giggled and he knelt before her and she grabbed his face gently.

“What is it?” He insisted with worry and she sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing, I just need you to please calm down or I’ll start to freak out with you.” She said and he chuckled.

“I don’t…think I can. I mean…a baby, our baby is ready t-to be born…” he chuckled nervously. “Like…he’s coming out of you!” He said with wild eyes, “I mean…oh my god, I thought about the cervix thing again…” he shook his head and she groaned.

“Don’t think about that!” She laugh nervously.

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled and she sighed as she shook her head in disapproval, before cracking a smile at him.

“I love you, but please just…I’m scared enough as it is and I’m trying my best to just think positive. Let’s just have a nice and relaxing shower, you’re gonna have to help me shave though, for visibility purposes.” She said and he nodded.

“Right, a clearer view is probably best for them, right?”

“I’d imagine so.” She giggled.

“I just want him to be here already.” He said earnestly and she smiled.

“Me too.” She hummed and then leaned forward to kiss his lips quickly. “I can do this.”

“You can.” He reassured and then she took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I love you.”

“I love you. Let’s do it.” She said decidedly.

With that they hurried into the shower. She’d be in hospital for a day or so and he knew how relaxing showers were for her, so he was extra considerate of her routine. He wanted to skip some of her steps, but for her sake he stuck to them. Shaving her proved to be quite challenging, but they were laughing about it, reminiscing about that time he decided to lick at her sugar scrub only to learn it was in fact soap. And the shower was certainly helping her release all of the scary and anxious thoughts. He’d been doing perineal massages on her for the last month because she was so afraid to tear, so he did a bit of that as he helped clean her up a bit, even if it was just to reassure her.

“Just wait here, let me get your robe.” Harry said hurrying out of the shower. He was just about to help her step out when she suddenly squeezed his hands hard, her nails dug into his wrist making him wince until he glanced up at her and saw her face twisted in pain. So he sucked it up, waited for the contraction to pass.

“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to hurt you.” She whispered lowly, brows still pinched and eyes squeezed shut as she calmed.

“S’alright. Is it bad?”

“I can manage, it was just sharper than I anticipated.” She said and he nodded.

“C’mon, lets get you dried.” He said.

Once he had helped her get dried up he helped her get moisturized while she got her skincare on. Then he helped her get into the clothes they had left out already and started helping her pack up her final things to take to the hospital. Y/N was lightly primping herself umm she knew she didn’t need to do it, but she was treating this like any other day. She was sticking to her routine to stay calm. Meanwhile, Harry was getting everything into the car, they had agreed not to call and wake Anne and Julie yet since her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so they still had some time to go.

“OK, everything’s in the car.” Harry said as he came back into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit as well.

“Perfect, thank you baby.” She hummed. He nodded and then reached into the drawer with his razor. “Don’t shave.” She said and he glanced up at her.

“What if it’s scratchy on the baby’s face?” He asked and she pouted a bit.

“But you look so hot like this.” She whined quietly and he chuckled and turned and grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before rubbing his nose against hers.

“Guess I’ll just have to be extra cautious with the baby.” He said and she smiled in satisfaction.

“Do you think we should try getting a bit more sleep?” She asked.

“What if you don’t wake up in time?”

“I don’t see how that would be possible.” She smiled.

“Right… alright, let me change the sheets.” He said and she nodded and went to grab clean ones while he stripped the bed. Once he had stripped them she went to put them in the washer as he redressed the bed. And then they were laying down again, Y/N on her side as Harry rubbed her back gently.

It was nearing 5am now and Y/N kept waking up with each contraction that came, now they were less than 10 minutes apart from what she was noticing. So once again, she woke Harry and now they were on their way to the hospital. They checked in with ease and when they checked her out she was 5 centimeters dilated. She was breathing through the pain like she’d been told, but this was on another level. She kept squeezing Harry’s hand hard, they were waiting for them to come give her the epidural. She just needed the quiet and he was so respectful of it. Anne, Hillary, and Julie showed up a bit after 6am, but were not allowed in yet since they were still waiting for the epidural to kick in and when it finally did and the pain had subsided enough Harry just encouraged Y/N to get a bit more sleep while he went out and shared her progress with their family.

Harry came back in after about half an hour to find Y/N fast asleep and he kissed her forehead lightly before taking a seat beside her and sighing contently. He felt overwhelmed with hope, happiness, excitement, nerves…this was huge. Harry felt so lucky to have found her. And more lucky that she had not given up on him and melted away his cold exterior with her empathy and kindness. He felt lucky that she had fallen in love with him and chosen to share a life with him. And now here they were, waiting for her to give him the perfect gift. A lovely little boy that would complete their little family. He glanced up when a nurse came in quietly.

“Hi, just going to check on her progress.” She said quietly. Harry nodded and squeezed Y/N’s hand a bit and she stirred awake.

“Baby, the nurse needs to check on you.” He said softly and she nodded groggily and just bent her legs up to give the woman space to see how she was doing. It was closing in 7:30am now and the nurse smiled as she reared back.

“You’re moving along quite well, quite quickly he’s an eager one. You’re at 6 centimeters.” She said with a smile.

“Oh good.” She hummed.

“Not too much pain?”

“No, this is good.” She assured the woman.

“Excellent. It tends to speed up from here, you’re getting close.” She said with a smile.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re very calm, this is good energy you two are maintaining. Keep it up.” She encouraged them and with that she headed off.

“Hear that, my love?” He asked her sweetly before pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. “Almost.” Harry hummed and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.” She assured him, her expression falling a bit and he looked at her a bit skeptically.

“What’s the matter? Are you in more pain than you’re letting on?” He asked her.

“I mean there’s pain but it’s very tolerable. This epidural thing is where it’s at.” She giggled and he chuckled a bit.

“I’m glad it’s working.” He said with relief. He knew this was probably the hardest thing a person ever had to do and he was more than glad that so far the experience was going well for her. As much as he wanted to meet and hold his baby boy, he wanted for her to have the best and smoothest delivery possible.

“Are you gonna look?” She questioned with a knowing smirk.

“I don’t know yet.” He confessed with a smile and she giggled.

“As long as you don’t pass out on me.” She warned and he sniggered.

“I’ll try my best not to.” He assured her. “You’re so calm. It’s making me feel bad for being so anxious.” He explained.

“Don’t feel bad. You’re not showing it. I think if I were feeling more pain I would definitely be more anxious. But also, if I freak out I’m just gonna have a harder time doing this and it’s gonna take me longer and I just want to meet him so bad!” She confessed, “I don’t want to take longer than necessary to finally get to hold our baby.” She said and he hummed.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” He hummed as he tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly, “I love you so much, baby. More than I ever thought I could. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I promise that I will try my best for you and for Charlie, always.” He said with conviction and she smiled.

“I know you will, H. You already do.” She hummed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it and he smiled down at her.

Y/N wished she could have Julie, Anne, and Hillary in there with her as well. She was only allowed to have her partner in the delivery room. She also felt an underlying sadness because anyone would want their family’s support in this moment.

“H?”

“Yes, my love?” He asked her softly.

“What do you think he’ll look like? And be like?” She asked and he started to tell her how he envisioned their little boy. It was keeping her calm and giving her so much to look forward to and to push away the slight disappointment she was feeling. Their hushed conversation was so wholesome and well, his voice always helped soothe her, but especially now.

“Baby, I don’t want to mess anything up, but something’s off.” he said and she sighed.

“I was just…thinking of my family. It’s fine, but you know, just…sucks.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “Maybe they’ll come around when they see the baby.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, maybe. My mom does love babies.” She said with a smile.

“Fuck, I can’t wait.” He said with a broad smile and she reached for his face and kissed his lips quickly. “Wanna try and rest a bit more?”

“No, I’m alright.” She said, “Maybe we can FaceTime the ladies now. Just have a nice chat with them.”

“Yeah. Let me get my phone.” He said before going over to the go bag with their things. They talked to Julie, Anne, and Hillary for quite a while. They were sweet and encouraging, wishing her the very best. Then they made a call to Alyssa and Gemma. Gemma had given her some tips. Reminding her to listen to her body through this entire process. During the conversation with Gemma, Y/N’s contractions started to get far worse towards the end, leaving her wincing and inhaling sharply.

“Best to get the nurse now, H.” Gemma said and he nodded.

“Love you, babe. You’ll be amazing, alright!” Gemma said to Y/N who nodded and then they hung up.

She was beginning to feel a bit more nervous, scared, excited, happy… there were so many emotions! But she wanted to be as calm as possible for this. She was doing a lot of meditating; when the emotions would get too big she would close her eyes, acknowledge them, take a few deep breaths and let them go, like she learned in yoga class.

“Can you bring me some more ice while you grab the nurse??”

“Yeah, of course.” He said and hurried out.

Y/N was so proud of Harry, he was doing a remarkable job of regulating himself to ensure that he continued perpetuating the vibe that she wanted to have in the delivery room. He was such a respectful and supportive partner. She really couldn’t have asked for anyone better than him to be beside her for this. Sure, she was doing the heavy lifting, but his support was an essential part of this delivery. They were a team and relied on each other to succeed. Now more than ever.

Harry returned with the nurse and her ice chips and when she checked she was bordering on 8 centimeters. This was excellent news. The nurse informed her that she would start prepping everything and that in about 20-30 minutes she would be good to start pushing. After a few minutes they started setting everything up and Y/N was starting to get nervous, so Harry was quick to grab her earphones and put on the playlist of her happy music. Encouraging her to close her eyes and just sing along quietly as he combed his fingers through her hair, handing her the cup of ice chips when she’d ask for some as the staff did their thing. And this is how they killed some time as they waited for the time to come.

They were currently singing along to “American Girl” quietly while she was free of contractions, she had about one song in between her contractions now, so things were moving along quickly. She was in the middle of crushing through some ice chips when her head fell back as she winced. She writhed around a bit as the pain peaked. She started to feel so much pressure between her legs it was unreal.

“Baby. Baby breathe.” He coached her and she tried to exhale smoothly, but it was coming out shakily.

“Oh my god…” she hissed with a scowl on her face when the worst of it passed. “I-it feels different than before. I think this is happening right now.” She whimpered, “Ow! Fuck!” She whined as her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately reached for the call button on the bed.

“I’ve called the nurse, OK?” He assured she nodded. Moments later the nurse hurried into the room.

“Is everything alright?” She asked them.

“I feel a lot of pressure and I just…feel like I want to push.” She explained before wincing again.

“Alright, let’s check you out.” She said and then took another peek before sticking her gloved hand in between her legs to feel for any changes and her eyes widened. “He’s an eager little guy! I think you’re just about ready, love. I’ll go get the doctor.” She assured with a smile as she removed the gloves and rushed out of the room.

“You hear her, he’s coming.” Harry said to her with excitement and she nodded with a smile despite the pain she felt.

Moments later another contraction hit and she squeezed her legs together to fight the urge to push. She rolled her lips together and vocalized the pain through the harsh contraction. She moaned in pain and reached for his hand. Harry grabbed it immediately and let her squeeze as she exhaled shakily. Yes, it hurt how hard she was squeezing, he had no idea she even had that much strength in her! But this was as much as he could do for her right now so he would say nothing and take it, just as she was taking this feat on right now.

“You’re so fucking strong.” He said to her with a smile and she giggled despite the pain.

“I assume I’d have to be for this.” She said softly and he nodded and kissed her forehead with a smile. Just then the doctor came in with a few other nurses.

“Y/N, hi! I hear you’re ready to have this baby.” The doctor smiled at her.

“Yes. Beyond ready.” She let out a strained chuckle that the doctor reciprocated as she got geared up. One one of the nurses started to put a little monitor on her to gauge the contractions.

“Good. I think this will be a fast one.” She smiled at her. “Dad, are you planning on skin to skin with the baby?” She asked and Harry nodded right away. “Perfect, we’ll just clean him up and let him stick around with you for a bit.” The doctor said to them and they nodded. Harry then turned to her and grabbed Y/N’s hand, he was nearly trembling with excitement. His wide smile caused her to smile back despite the contraction that assailed her just then.

“We’re gonna meet him so soon!” He said as his eyes started to tear up and she nodded. She was already getting all misty-eyed as well just from all of the emotions. They were setting her up to get ready to push. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed her lips once more a few times, “You’re going to be amazing, yeah? So fucking amazing.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you the most.”

“I love you.” She hummed, “And remember what we talked about before.” She said and he shook his head.

“Yeah, but everything’s going to be great. OK? You’ve been in good spirits this whole time, been so calm, doing your breathing and mediations. You’ve got this.” He assured her and she nodded.

“I do. I’ve got this.” She repeated.

“Alright lovely, ready when you are.” The doctor said as she perched herself at the end of the bed, down between Y/N’s legs. Y/N nodded as one of the other nurses came to her other side and gave her a reassuring smile. “When you feel the pressure and the contraction bear your hips down and push, OK? Hold it as much as you can.” The doctor instructed and Y/N nodded. Her forehead beading with sweat as it suddenly started to feel a lot warmer than before. She glanced to Harry who just smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright, get ready, Y/N.” The nurse beside her said and she just took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

“Here it is and push!” The doctor instructed and she put her entire strength into it. Clutching tight to the linens with one hand and the other in Harry’s, “Excellent job. Just hold it a bit more and good.” She said and she relaxed as the contraction passed and she caught her breath. She had about a minute break before she was instructed to push again and this happened a few more times. For the most part she was quiet, her screaming was all internal and she was taking in all of Harry’s affirmations as well, letting his words settle in and encourage her to keep going.

“Alright, great job. Give it one more go…” the doctor encouraged her. With this one she couldn’t help but groan in pain as the pressure just increased even further. It definitely was painful, more than anything she’d ever felt, but she could mentally cope with it, “Okay lovely, his head is down in the canal. You’ll be crowning soon, just take your time with this bit, OK?” She said and Y/N nodded as her tears started to stream down her face.

Harry was squeezing her hand just as hard as she started to push again. He was in awe of her determination. Of how calm she was, of how gorgeous she was and how strong she was. He bit his lip nervously as she groaned once again, pushing hard to help their baby descend.

“Alright, that’s good, Y/N. Relax a bit for me, OK?” The doctor said and she nodded and just tossed her head back on the bed as she panted a few times and Harry kissed her sweaty forehead and she smiled at him with tired eyes. It had been a long process to get her to this point. “Ready to push?”

“Not yet.” She said softly.

“Alright, just let it pass, let your body do its thing.” The nurse at her side said and she nodded.

“Can I sit up a bit more? I need a bit more leverage.” She said and she nodded and adjusted the top half of the bed to get it into a position that made her feel more comfortable.

“Better?”

“Yes. Much better.” She said with a gentle smile.

“OK, here comes another.” The doctor spoke up again and she bore her hips down, getting ready for further instructions, “Alright, lets focus on getting his head through with these next couple contractions alright?”

“OK.” She sighed.

“Here we go…a nice long push.” And she did as she was told, “Oh, very good, Y/N! He’s right there.” The doctor said, “And rest.” She exhaled shakily. The pressure was increasing even more and she was most scared of this part, but the position change had definitely helped her feel more in control of her pushing. “Alright, here comes another. Use the contraction, Y/N. Lean into it.” The doctor coached and again she grunted as she gave yet another push. The nurses were praising her as she gave it her all.

“Good girl, he’s just about to come out. His head is right there.” The nurse said with a smile.

“Really?” She sniffled and the nurse nodded.

“Yes. Do you want to feel?”

“Can I?” She asked and the nurse nodded and she felt the doctor guide her hand and she gasped as she felt the little bulge of his head at her opening. “Oh my god…” she suddenly started crying, she was so happy. It was a joy she had never felt before. It was emanating from her.

“You’re so close, darling.” The other nurse assured her and she nodded and pulled her hand away.

“Here, clean your hand on this towel.” The nurse beside her spoke softly and she did so.

“Is there blood?” Harry asked her softly and Y/N nodded at him.

“Do you want to see?” The doctor asked Harry.

“Yes, but no. If there’s blood I will faint.” He explained through a nervous chuckle and they all laughed along with him for a bit before they instructed her to push again.

She could feel as the baby was almost pushing itself down into her canal with her next pushes and the stretch of it slightly stung despite the epidural, but she could do it. She could brave this.

“His head will be out with this next one, alright?”

“Already?!” Harry asked excitedly. He just wanted to hold his son.

“Yeah, he’s ready to meet you two.” The doctor smiled, “He’s a tiny, little fellow.” She said to Y/N, “So one big push and the rest is the easy part, alright?”

“Ok.” She exhaled shakily as the pain started to increase as the pressure of the baby’s head at her entrance started to increase with the oncoming contraction. “OK…OK…I can do it.” She whispered to herself.

“You can. You are doing it, my love.” Harry hummed from beside her, “Gonna get to hold him soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled.

“A big push!” The doctor coached, “Perfect. Push!”

“Push, baby! Push.” Harry said softly and excitedly. “You’re doing it!” He chuckled as his own tears slid down his cheeks.

Y/N strained through gritted teeth as she gave it her all. The nurse at her side helped pull her leg back a bit for more leverage and the sharp pain followed by the release of pressure and the delighted smile on the doctor’s face told her she had done it. At this point her tears started to fall freely, she was just so relieved and tired and excited and over this and eager to see their baby. Her heart was thumping loudly.

“There’s his head! Good job!” The doctor informed happily and Y/N just sighed in relief.

“Alright, she’s turning him now…Oh, he’s a cute one.” The nurse beside her said with a smile, “Push when you feel the need to, we have to get his shoulders through.” She informed and Y/N nodded. She winced and gasped in pain through the next few.

“Fuck…fuck!” She mewled as they tried to fit the rest of him through.

“S’alright lovely, just keep pushing. He’s nearly out.”

“I can’t anymore.” She whined quietly as she felt like she had nothing left to give.

“You can, baby. You can, you’re right there.” Harry encouraged, “You’re so strong, my love. Done so well. You’ve got it. Just a few more pushes, for me.” He encouraged her softly. “Let’s meet our baby, angel.” He said through his tearful smile and she nodded.

“One more time, Y/N!” The doctor encouraged happily, “You’re doing great!…Excellent!” She smiled, “And last one…” Y/N strained, giving it all her might until finally she heard their son’s cry and after that she tuned everything else out. She suddenly felt overheated and lightheaded and so fucking weak as they pulled the rest of his little body from her.

Harry started sobbing the moment he saw them bring him up and then hurry to clean him. He turned to Y/N to see her head just thrown back as she caught her breath and he kissed all over her face, over and over. He was speaking to her but she wasn’t responding, she was just mentally clearing her head from this feat she’d just managed to get through. He was thanking her and telling her how perfect he was and how she’d done so well and how much he loved her as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt his heart explode as the nurse turned to him with Charlie in her hands and she asked him to help her with Y/N’s gown.

She glanced down to see Harry pulling down her nightgown and then seconds later Charlie was being handed over to her, the nurse wearing a bright smile as she got to hold her baby for the first time. She just let out a laugh of joy and hugged him carefully to her chest. He was a tiny little guy. She pressed him against her nipple and she glanced up at Harry with wide eyes at how he just latched on without hesitation. It was amazing that he just knew what to do.

“Fuck.” Harry sniffled as he looked down with so much pride pumping through his veins. Seeing Y/N with Charlie, that was his entire world just there. He was gentle as he reached out and and touched his little fingers. “He’s perfect.” He chuckled through his tears, “So small. He’s cute.” He mused as he just watched him feeding eagerly.

“Right. So happy he doesn’t look too much like an alien.” She whispered and he chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“Like 20% alien.” He said and she giggled and nodded in agreement before looking down at him.

“Hi Charlie, I’m your mom.” She hummed as she let her fingers gently trace along his profile. “Love you so much. You’re so perfect.” She whispered with pride.

“When he’s done nursing you can take him. Here’s a chair.” The nurse said and he nodded before turning his attention back to Y/N and Charlie.

“You’re an easy one.” The doctor said to Y/N and she glanced over to her, “Just push a little bit to get the placenta out.” She instructed, she didn’t even notice when it happened, but assumed it had when the doctor was gone from between her legs. They were in their own little world as they cleaned up the area and Y/N as well.

“Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Styles.” The doctor said to them with a smile, “One of the nurses will be back a bit later to conduct some standard tests. Just to ensure the baby’s vitals are normal and then some quick reflect tests. Then we can worry about the paperwork for the birth certificate and to explain a bit of the process for your aftercare, alright?” She smiled and they both nodded.

“Thank you so much, doctor.” Harry said with a smile and she nodded before excusing herself. The nurses were around for a bit more before they assured her that they’d be back to check on them in a little while. They thanked them as well before focusing back on the baby. He was now just nuzzled into Y/N’s chest and he stretched just a bit which made them coo.

“Take a picture, yeah?” She asked and Harry was quick to grab his phone and snap a few pictures and a video as well.

“Look.” He hummed as he showed her, “You look perfect with him.” He whispered as he showed her the video and she smiled, “Can I send this one in the group chat?” He asked and she nodded.

“What were his weight and height? I missed it.” She said and he smiled.

“45.4 centimeters and 2.7 kilos.” He said softly.

“I don’t know what that means.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“Fucking metric system…hold on.” He said before converting it on his phone. “17 inches and just shy of 6 pounds.” He said and she nodded. He quickly sent off the video before setting his phone down on the bed and leaning back down to kiss her forehead. She turned and puckered her lips out and he smiled and kissed his lips.

“Thank you so much for reaming calm and for all of the lovely things you said to help me. Helped a lot.” She hummed and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Thank you for our baby! I mean look at him…God.” He hummed, completely awestruck.

“Want to hold him now?” Y/N asked Harry quietly. He was a bit hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. “Get you shirt off.” she said and he was quick to pull it off and he just set it down beside her.

He knew how to hold babies, but he still hesitated just a bit before taking him from her hands. He was so tiny and defenseless. He couldn’t help but suddenly recall everything that he’d been told by Chloe, how he didn’t deserve this, how he wasn’t cut out for this. But suddenly Charlie blinked his eyes open and just looked at him before letting out a tiny hiccup and Harry chuckled and grabbed him right away before pressing him to his chest and he sighed in relief as he felt his warm and soft skin against his chest. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed again as he wriggled a bit until Harry sat down in the chair they had given him. He rubbed over his back and patted it gently to help him burp out any air bubbles from his feeding. He was completely enamored to feel Charlie’s little puffs of air against his chest. They were so subtle, but he held perfectly still to ensure that he could feel them.

“Baby.” He heard Y/N and he glanced up at her with a smile and it widened when he saw her taking a photo or a video of him. “He’s falling asleep again. You’re a natural.” She smiled.

“Think so?” He whispered as he tried to glance down at Charlie and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She hummed, smiling at him with pride. “Gonna send this one in the chat as well.” She said and he nodded excitedly.

She was smiling so wide as Harry spoke to Charlie quietly. Telling him how he would love him and protect him and support him for his whole life. Telling him how happy he was to have him in his arms. She could see his apprehension melt away second by second as their baby got comfortable over his chest. He was going to be a phenomenal dad.

“Get some rest, baby.” Harry said to her.

“OK, but come here with him. We can share.” She said and he nodded.

Once Harry had enough space to sit with her, he settled in and she leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched Charlie breathing easily, just watching his little body rise and fall felt like the most perfect miracle. There were only good thoughts and excitement for what this new chapter of life would bring for them and their little family.

“Baby, how about we leave my tattoo as one angel and it’ll be Charlie? He’s our little angel, you know?” She whispered with a smile and he nodded.

“Yeah. I love that. Can maybe add some fillers with his birth flowers? What do you think of that?” He asked.

“Yeah, we can work on it together?”

“And you can give me a matching one?” He asked, “When you’re up for it, of course.”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” She whispered excitedly and he chuckled before leaning down and kissing her head and then Charlie’s very gently.

“Oh sweetheart, we’re gonna take such good care of you.” She hummed as she reached out to his little hand and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Thank you.” Harry said to her with a big smile and she kissed his bicep before leaning on him and exhaling tiredly.

They had no idea what else life would throw at them, but with so much love in their hearts, they felt more than ready to brace through life together. To do anything to look after their little family. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing else even felt close to this. It was somehow possible to feel more than joy. More than love. It’s like a whole new part of their hearts had suddenly been unlocked. This was the best day of their lives.

“Welcome to the world, Charlie. You’re gonna love it.” Harry whispered happily.

... THE END ...

Found this today. Not sure if the tagged blog is the creator, but the account is linked in the image:)

---- TAG LIST ----

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @ottawaoutlander @justlemmeadoreyou @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @jessitpwk@permanentllyharry@here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes

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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year

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OMG UR RECENT ZACK LEE WORK IS SO GOOD I NEED MORE PLS AND YES WE LOVE ZACK !!!!! i love the other boys as well but zack hits diff esp bcz he’s one of the first characters introduced 🥹

Ty!! i'm glad you liked the last Zack piece! AGREED he def hits different, part of the OG group, just makes me feel a bit nostalgic for the simpler times. How about some Lookism boys first date HC? Including my faves as well of course

Lookism First Date HC

(Zack, Goo, Gun, Samuel, Jake, Johan - a lengthier Vasco gen + romantic hc here)

Zack Lee

Classic movie and coffee/meal guy (as seen with Mira)

Honestly probably the only guy that would opt for the typical teenage stuff (which isn't a criticism!!)

Will absolutely dress up and style his hair (also as seen with Mira)

But give him absolute and complete free rein? Would LOVE cheesy and domestic shit

Matching outfits, tandem bikes, couples cooking lessons, tour of Seoul so he gets to experience everything with you, farmers market, reenacting home life in IKEA (like 500 days of summer if you've seen it)

Builds up a lot of it in his head but tbh doesn't even care. Just spending time with you? On your own? <3

Would literally want to do anything and everything with you

Goo Kim

Theme/amusement park

Thrill seeking and high-energy to suit this blonde

Tbh a bit too much for a first date as it's an ALL DAY EVENT, but Goo's a bit much anyway

Face paint, character ears, character costumes - he would happily do the whole thing. Think Vasco at Notte World.

A little bit of cash flashing with fast passes and whatever bribery required to get to the front of the queue

Takes a LOT of pictures. More of the mascots and place than you two though

Buying and feeding you all the fun character foods + snacks

Gun Park

Spa. He is so high-end, exclusive, full spa experience

The downtimes we've see him with Goo are surprisingly chill and matches Gun's vibe more than Goo's

Jacuzzis, hot tubs, saunas, steam rooms, massages, manis, pedis - literally anything and everything so you're a puddle at the end of it

Uses it as an opportunity to relax as much as to get to know you

He appreciates a good body, but doesn't check you out as much as you expect and NOWHERE NEAR as much as you eye him up

Keeps his sunglasses on the whole time

Samuel Seo

Tell me this guy wouldn't be out to impress

Completely dressed up, flowers, chauffeur

And there's no way you would be paying for anything at all. He'll even pay for your shopping trip for the date outfit.

Books the most exclusive restaurant in town. Not just that, either opts for a private room or just books the whole place out just for you two

Definitely will involve a helicopter - either to get you A to B, or a night time tour of the city

Will definitely put out on a first date (no judgement). This man exudes sex, let's be honest

Jake Kim

Night time drive and stargazing

Look this might sound sketchy as hell for a first date but it's Jake, he's not a stranger

You already know him but this is your first official date. You both can talk to each other without the chaos of Big Deal and revel in the peace

Super intimate and surprisingly romantic. It's soft and comfortable, he'll be making you laugh a lot

Will take you to a non-sleazy lookout point to look at the stars and maybe share a beer

It's easier for him to be vulnerable with you especially under the cloak of night

Johan Seong

Hiking or picnic or just walking around a park

If this is a first date there is no way that Eden and Miro aren't coming along

The pups might know you already, but this is a big milestone and it needs to involve his babies

Awkward but so endearing. Very skittish. He's not familiar with this sort of situation and blushes a LOT

Absolutely rubbish at small talk or making the first move - you can tell he obviously wants to and likes you though

You best make the first moves unless you want to tiptoe around forever

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writingquestionsanswered · 9 months

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I finally have motivation to write but no inspiration. I have a bunch of ideas, but not well fleshed-out, pretty weak, and feels there's no "point" to the story. But I'm struggling to add more to it. I don't feel inspired. There is no drive for my own WIPs. I do have a creative well. I just feel like I'm lacking the heart for writing. But I get so pumped when I see others' WIPs! It's like I have apathy for my own ideas. Am I just not creative enough to be a writer?

Struggling with Creativity & Inspiration

If you feel your "creative well" is full and you're still struggling to find inspiration, I definitely wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you're not creative enough to be a writer. There are a lot of other places where there might be an issue… 1 - You Don't Know Enough About How Stories Work - This is honestly the biggest obstacle for newest writers to overcome. Humanity is so invested in stories, yet the vast majority of us don't really know how they work. Kind of like cars or cell phones. They're a part of daily life for a lot of us, but most of us couldn't really explain a lot about how they work. There are all different kinds of stories and they all work in different ways, but most of them revolve around conflict and follow basic story structure. In fact, most of our favorite stories move forward in the same general way. Once you master these basics, it's easier to flesh out your ideas and figure out where to go with them. My Plot & Story Structure master list is a good place to start.

2 - Your Expectations Are Askew - The next biggest obstacle for newer writers is the mistaken belief that writing should be easy... that you can just sit down with an idea and off you go to write the story that will make you famous. Of course, that isn't how writing works at all. Even if you know how stories work, have fleshed out ideas, an outline, motivation and inspiration, time and energy... you still have to put the words down on paper, and that requires thought and effort as well as acceptance that what you write isn't going to be as amazing as you want it to be. Not until you've written a lot of bad and mediocre stories. And even then, your first drafts will never be final drafts. You have to give yourself permission to write an unpolished mess before you can polish it up into something pretty.

3 - You're Getting Hung Up On Silly Things - If you're anything but an experienced writer, you don't need to worry about "the point" to your story. You don't have to worry about underlying messages, your writing style, motif and theme... You have to focus on quantity before quality, and all those other things will fall into place. If you give yourself permission to write stories that have messy plots, lack point or purpose, have characters with sketchy arcs if any at all, and which aren't super well written, you can learn to write stories where all of those things are really well done.

So... learn the basics of how stories work, then just sit down and write. Take an idea and run with it. Do a writing prompt. Write some fan-fiction. Give yourself permission to write something that won't be good, that you might not even finish. Just start. Don't worry about point. Don't worry about message Don't worry about theme. Don't worry about style. Just start writing. You're not here to write a masterpiece... not yet. :)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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faerynova · 7 months

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Thoughts on. Caesar Salazar ?:3

oughhg césar... he is so autistic (derogatory) (im autistic its fine i can say that)

what i love about him is that he has NO empathy but also SUCH strong morals. he invented nanites TO HELP PEOPLE. he wanted to cure diseases and make the world a better place but also hes completely incapable of understanding that his actions have consequences and can hurt other people

like i straight up think he does not realize how much he hurt rex with like. the control collar and also yknow putting him through fucking EVERYTHING to do with the metananites and not telling rex his plans. césar isnt a "the end justifies the means" kind of guy its just that he does not realize that his means are harmful in the first place

ALSO SPEAKING OF REX IF I THINK TOO HARD ABOUT CÉSAR AND REX ESPECIALLY THEM AS KIDS I WILL START CRYING YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

CÉSAR CARES SO MUCH ABOUT REX AND AS MUCH AS HE DOES DO THINGS FOR THE GOOD OF PEOPLE IN GENERAL HE WILL WATCH THE WORLD BURN TO SAVE HIS LITTLE BROTHER

i think about his introduction so fucking much. calls him mijo. immediately clocks providence as sketchy organization (that may or may not be experimenting on his brother who he knows has crazy nanite abilities and would thus be a prime target for that shit) and is like alright rex im getting you the fuck OUT OF HERE

also like césar skipped six whole years. the last time he saw rex, rex was TEN. thats his BABY brother. and im sure césar has some trouble like... realizing. that rex is older and can be treated as, yknow, a capable person. which ofc informed his decision to keep rex out of the loop every step of the way. (also i headcanon that he and rex have a 12 year age gap. and now that césar has his time skip, theres a 6 year age gap)

also césar has a doctorate?? zagRS refers to him as Dr. César Salazar. this man has a phd. i also headcanon that he was actually one of *those* super smart autistic kids who started going to college at like 13 or some shit and ended up with an engineering doctorate at 20/21 or something.

its like 4 in the goddamn am if this makes no sense then im blaming that

anyway tldr i am shaking him inside a pringles can i love him i hate him im gonna put him through the horrors

#generator rex #césar salazar #i think he should have some trauma. as a treat.#cant wait to get to that part of function.heartbeat #trauma for EVERYBODY babeyyy!!

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