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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 6 months

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Young American Finale ^**

AHHHH THE FINALE IS HERE. I had such a hard time finishing this because I think I wasn't ready for it to end, but thus it had to. I hope you guys love this part. A lot happens and of course, the happiest ending for our lovely couple and their little angel of a baby boy 👼🏻

Series Masterlist

Warnings: descriptions of abusive relationships (verbal/emotional). Descriptions of personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder specifically). Descriptions of pregnancy. Fingering and oral sex (fem receiving), use of sex toys, sex (p in v, unprotected), breeding kink, multiple/forced orgasms. Descriptions of labor and delivery process.

WC: 23K

A little recap....

Y/N finds out that Harry has been hanging out with and talking to his ex-girlfriend Chloe for a few weeks. He has been acting very sketchy about it. So at the Sunday roast they are hosting, she borrows his phone and decides to give Chloe a call. Harry gets suspicious and decides to follow her in and finds out she's contacted Chloe...

“Baby, can I use your phone?” Y/N asked as she came up to him and he suddenly felt concern come over him.

“Ummm why? For what?” He asked right away and immediately regretted it because it sounded suspicious. Or maybe he was just being super paranoid.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man.” She explained. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She assured and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He replied and handed it over. She grabbed it and typed in his password but it was wrong and she glanced up to him in confusion, “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry.” She smiled, “You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said looking deep in his eyes, but there was something in them that made him distrust her words and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and typed in the password and handed it over.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and headed inside.

Harry felt so unsettled that Y/N had his phone. He knew Y/N had seen the text Chloe had sent him after the first time they hung out after the cycling class. But she didn’t seem upset or even bring it up again, he hadn’t meant to hide it, but if she didn’t read into it then he was just not going to bring it up. And he really did intend on just closing the door with Chloe, but she was going through a lot and well he had been looking for something to do with his time, so he figured being a friend to her wouldn’t be a bad thing. So they kept hanging out and doing stuff around town. It was completely platonic. He hadn’t given Y/N any reason not to trust him in the past, and well he just…didn’t want to relive the horrors of that relationship with Y/N. Once Chloe got through her rough patch he’d just tell her that they couldn’t be friends. That was genuinely his plan, but he had been so wrapped up in her that he hadn’t realized that just being around her was changing him, the effects were so quick that he was oblivious to them.

He had been lost in the chatter until he realized that Y/N hadn’t brought his phone back for a while. It made him feel on edge, so much so that he quite literally chugged the beer before him and stood up abruptly, startling Skye.

“Alright, mate?” He asked and Harry nodded.

“Yeah, just gonna grab another beer. Anyone else want one?” He asked and his uncle, Julie, and Skye all said yes.

“So you’re drinking again? What happened to solidarity?” Gemma asked and he frowned a bit. He had been drinking again…he didn’t know why that hadn’t really clicked until someone mentioned it to him.

“S’only been two.” He said.

“Try 3.” Gemma said and he looked at her incredulously until he glanced down at the spot before him and saw that he had in fact polished of his 3rd beer already.

“Those are not all mine. We’ve all been drinking.” He said and immediately Gemma and Alyssa exchanged a look of concern.

“No mate, those are yours.” Skye confirmed and everyone laughed a bit and Harry frowned, suddenly feeling really defensive that everyone was laughing at him, “Well, fine. No more for me then. Should I still bring you lot another?” He asked and they nodded. “Coming right up. M’also gonna check on Y/N, she’s been gone too long.” He said and headed inside.

Now he was feeling conflicted and attacked and anxious. He beelined for their current bedroom and the door was closed. And when he tried to open it he found it was locked. He exhaled, jaw taut as he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he tried to listen for any sounds and could hear her muffled speaking.

“Open the door, Y/N.” He said through the wood. It took a few moments before the door opened. It worried him that he couldn’t really decipher the look in her eyes, but all he needed to know was that it wasn’t good. “Who were you talking to?” He asked and she looked at him for a second.

“Does it matter?”

“It does. You said you were going to talk to G and if you weren’t then why did you lie about it?” He questioned her. Just then his phone started ringing and she glanced down to it. She turned the phone towards him and his expression went blank and he swore that all of the blood in his body rushed down to his feet making him feel dizzy and out of sorts.

“Do you want to answer her or should I?” Y/N asked and he didn’t say anything, “I should warn you that I think she’s still calling for me so she might get a bit rude with you.” She said calmly and when he just stood there she shook her head and sighed as she handed the phone over and started to get around him to exit the room.

“What did she say to you?” He asked and she sighed.

“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t believe half the things she accused you of, she’s clearly psychologically unwell-”

“That’s rude of you to say, she’s just going through a hard time.” He said with a frown and Y/N sighed.

“I think she’s fine. She’s just a liar, Harry.”

“Why would she lie about anything that she’s been through?!” He asked in frustration.

“Because she knows that’s how she’ll reel you back in.” Y/N said simply and Harry frowned.

“She doesn’t affect me like that any more. It’s not like she was going to trick me into leaving you or something! I’m not an idiot!” He snapped and she frowned.

“I didn’t say you were-”

“I was just lending an ear. It was nothing bad!” His voice was raised now in defense when she hadn’t even said one accusatory thing to him.

“If it’s nothing bad why did you go out of your way to hide this from me?” She asked and his forehead creased even deeper in frustration and he sighed and it looked like he would say something but after about a minute of standing there in silence he didn’t say anything more. “OK, well I’m just going to head back outside.” She said quietly and before she could make it out he grabbed her arm.

“I know you saw the first text she sent me. You were looking through my phone. Why were you even looking through my phone?!” He questioned her as he stood in front of the door now.

“I was trying to see if Eddie had good news! After the morning we’d had I just wanted to share some good news with you. And we always look at each other’s phones! It had never been a problem before so I just assumed it was fine to look at your phone.”

“So you saw it, meaning that you’ve known about Chloe since then and you never brought it up. Why didn’t you bring it up if it bugged you? Were you trying to collect evidence against me so you can hold it over my head or leave me?” He asked and she looked at him like he was absolutely mad.

“Where is this about me leaving you even coming from?” She asked him, “I didn’t say anything because up until I saw that message I believed that you had lost track of time and somehow walked all the way to SOHO! I was confused about how I felt and when I started to doubt you I decide to trust you instead and hoped that you would do the right thing. The mature thing and take ownership of your actions and tell me yourself! And when you didn’t bring it up the next day I wanted to show you the message and ask you for clarification but you had deleted it!” She said and his eyes softened a bit.

“There was nothing for me to bring up anymore and I thought that…maybe it was just a quick run in…worst case scenario, a spontaneous and regretful hook up!” She explained and Harry looked hurt that she even thought that, “But then you kept hiding things and lying and I knew you would keep lying about it. I’m really sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy today, but you’ve been deliberately lying to me for weeks and I’ve been going fucking crazy between deciding if I wanted to know what was going on or not! But then I realized that I couldn’t bear to hear something bad from you, so I decided to hear it from her if something was going on.” She said with tearful eyes but she wasn’t going to let a singe tear fall, “And I don’t know why you decided to lie to me, Harry. But if she still means something to you and you wanted her back in your life I would’ve tried to understand. But after all the sneaking around and now that I’ve spoken to her and have heard the way she’s talked about you and the things she’s said about you. Your supposed friend by the way, I don’t want her near you, me, or our baby, ever.” She said firmly and Harry swallowed thickly. “Can I go now?” She asked and he let her go and moved to the side.

“Are you angry at me?” He asked softly and she sighed as she stopped at the door.

“Angry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” She responded

“You have every right to be, but I swear I was just listening to her problems, it was absolutely nothing other than that and-”

“I know. We’re not done talking about this though. We should deal with this when everyone goes.” She said.

“I love you so much and I’m really sorry for all of this.” He apologized.

“Thank you for apologizing.” She said quietly and he nodded.

“Not gonna forgive me though?” He asked as he took her hands and the fact that she let him was a good sign.

“Obviously I will, but I’m still angry at you and I…don’t want to forgive you without clearing things up.” She said sincerely and he chuckled a bit, “I’m being serious.” She pouted and he nodded.

“I know, my love.” He assured, “I’m not laughing at you, s’just a nervous thing.” He said and she shook her head.

“I think I just want to understand why you…went through all these lengths for her before I can move on from this.” She explained her reasoning and he frowned.

“Baby, I can clarify how this even happened but I ummm…I don’t want to talk about why this happened.” He said to her.

“OK, but you need to so that we can clear this up.” She said and he shook his head.

“I can’t. I won’t.” He said to her with certainty and out of every emotion under the sun, the one radiating the strongest off of him was fear. He was afraid to talk about this with her.

“I get that it might be painful and hard to explain it but…whether you’re ready to hear this or not, she was in your head, Harry. She’d gotten in your head and a few more weeks of this and who knows where you’d be!” She explained anxiously.

“How can you even say that?” He asked, fully offended. “I wouldn’t betray you ever! Or just leave you!” He scoffed.

“Maybe not the you that I’ve shared all of this with, but that’s what you were doing though…” she said and he tore his hands from hers, “You were pulling away and you’ve been really weird and cold and dry…like how you were before and…well you’ve been drinking a lot more than your normal, and-”

“STOP IT!” He shouted out of nowhere and she just shut her mouth and he exhaled shakily and licked over his lips as he calmed down for a second, “I understand that I owe you an apology, but you’re not getting an explanation.” He said voice soft but his tone was decisive, his eyes locked intensely on hers. “Do you understand?” He asked and she felt patronized at his question and she shook her head.

“I can’t accept that, Harry.” Y/N responded. “In order to rebuild the trust that’s been broken we need to talk-”

“Well trust me now when I tell you that discussing Chloe and I is not something that will help anything. I won’t talk to her again. It’s all in the past and it’s not going to make a difference now so get it out of your head. Please.” He implored.

“It’ll make a difference to me. Because I need to be sure that this is not going to happen again. And I can hope all I want, but if there is something, some part of you that is still…vulnerable to her-”

“We’re done having this conversation.” He interrupted and walked around her to leave the bedroom. She followed after him as best as she could, but he was walking fast. She frowned when she saw him getting out of his house shoes and opening the door to the entryway.

“Harry, where are you going?” She asked in a panic.

“Maybe to go fuck Chloe and file for divorce while I’m at it!” He snapped sarcastically and she felt her tears start to fall.

“You’re being really shitty, Harry.” She sniffled, but he was so overwhelmed and he felt like she was pushing him and pressuring him to talk about something that he never intended to open up about with anyone.

“Well that’s what you probably think I’m going to do anyway, isn’t it?” He asked her with a scowl on his face and she shook her head.

“No, Harry! But running off is not going to resolve this issue!”

“Well I don’t want to be here right now with all these people while you accuse me of shit I haven’t even done!”

“I’m not accusing you of anything!” She sighed in frustration as he opened the front door, “Harry, if you leave right now I don’t want you to come back until you’re ready to face this.” She admonished and as she looked into his eyes she searched for any indication that he would soften up but he looked away.

“That’s not going to happen, so you can call me when you decide to just let this one go.” He said lowly and he heard a sob break through her throat before she just stormed off. In his stubbornness he decided to just leave. He groaned and wasn’t discrete in his exit, he slammed the door hard enough that the windows rattled a bit.

*********

Alyssa was coming inside to go to the bathroom when she heard the door slam and she rushed over to the exit and then looked out the window to see Harry stomping over to his car and getting in roughly. So she headed down the hall to the guest room only to hear Y/N sobbing loudly on the other side of the closed door. She bit on her lip nervously and decided to head out and grab Gemma. More than anyone else, she and Gemma had picked up on the recent changes to Harry’s attitude. It was all reminiscent of his time with his ex, Chloe. They had been the ones who were constantly appealing for him to just let the relationship go, to move on, to come back home…but Chloe was so deep in his head, almost thinking for him! She could manipulate him in ways that were so sinister. And god, she really hoped that Harry hadn’t been stupid enough to have seen her or sleep with her, but whatever this was, it was bad.

“Gem, can you come here for a minute?”

“Where the hell is Harry with our beers?” Her dad asked and she groaned.

“I’ll get ‘em…” Alyssa said and headed off to the kitchen to grab the beers while Gemma made her way inside.

“Do you need help with something?”

“Harry stormed out and Y/N is sobbing in the bedroom.” She said and Gemma frowned. “Can you check on her. I’ll be right there.” She said and Gemma hurried off. Alyssa then made an excuse to get everyone to go home or go hang out at the pub, which is what they all agreed on. Gemma then came back out and shared a look with Aly that told her that whatever this was needed their immediate attention, so she asked Skye to leave the car and she’d just get him from the pub before they went home and he agreed and so they all headed off and that left Aly and Gemma and Y/N in the house.

“Did you talk to her?” Aly asked as she served Y/N a glass of water.

“No, she said to give her a minute to calm down before she wanted to talk about it.” Gemma said and Aly nodded before heading back to her bedroom.

*********

“Hey guys.” Y/N sniffled as she let them in. Alyssa offered the water glass and she took it and drank some down before setting it down on the bedside table and then just sitting on the bed.

“Where did my brother go?” Gemma asked.

“I really don’t know…” she sighed as she rubbed at her eyes, “And I don’t…I don’t know what to do.” She confessed and the two women before her nodded, encouraging her to tell them what was going on. “Ummm, so like about three weeks ago we had a little argument over Harry saying he was feeling trapped at home. He was like bored out of his mind and was like trying to get me to do more stuff with him and he basically just wanted to have some fun together before the baby came. But like, I’m just achey and tired all the time and won’t be able to keep up, you know how he is.” She explained and they both chuckled and nodded, “But he had gone off to the gym to just get the need to be active out of his system and like…he was gone for hours.” She explained, “Later that night he was expecting a text from Eddie, but then when I went to go see the message another came in at the same time and I accidentally opened that text and it was from his ex-girlfriend, Chloe and it was…sketchy.” She said and both Gemma and Alyssa sighed in disappointment.

“So he’s been…seeing her?” Gemma asked and Y/N nodded firmly once.

“For the past three weeks.” Y/N confirmed. “Like…I wanted to bring up that text to him because they way she wrote it, it was like insinuating that they had…ummm-”

“HE DID NOT.” Gemma stated with a frown.

“I don’t think he did, but she just wanted to make it seem that way.” Y/N explained.

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s a fucking lunatic! Like completely mad.” Alyssa said and Y/N sighed.

“Yeah, she’s not well…” she agreed, “Well, anyway he deleted the text message before I could ask him about it. He never saved the number so I assumed that if anything had happened it was a one time thing and I decided that I could make peace with that. But there were more texts through the weeks and then he just started deleting them I assume because they suddenly stopped, but he’d always be gone and like he’s just not been himself.” She explained.

“Yeah, I called him out on the drinking earlier and he got so defensive.” Gemma said and Y/N sighed.

“Right, well I misplaced my phone and I asked him for his to call myself and he got really weird about me having his phone. And when he finally gave it over he had changed the password, which is strange because we’ve never been secretive with that, you know? And he…he said Archie had downloaded too many games on it so he decided to change it.” Gemma scoffed when Y/N shared that and she shrugged. “I really was just going to look for my phone but then that happened and I got suspicious so I…I called her to ask her if anything was going on because I’d rather hear it from someone I don’t know than him, you know?”

“What did she say?” Aly asked.

“Well she first pretended that she had no idea he was married and then confirmed that they’d been sleeping together. But she was being a bit inconsistent so I know she’s lying about that, but he’s been spending a lot of time with her. Harry was at the door and overheard I think, but when he came in he told me he was just being nice and trying to listen to her problems. Which I genuinely believe he was trying to be nice, but the woman is obsessed with him and clearly has ulterior motives! And he like started to defend her or whatever and I was just trying to tell him that like…if nothing bad was going on then he didn’t have to hide it and lie about it, you know? It’s just the ease at which he was willing to lie for her that’s really bothering me.” She explained with concern.

“Well of course he lied about it. There’s an unspoken rule that we don’t talk about her. Ever. She’s the reason he was a fucking mess! But he literally worshipped the ground she shat on and nothing could ever make him see what it was that she was doing to him.” Aly explained and Gemma snorted on a laugh and Y/N giggled as well at Aly’s chosen expression. “He knew that if any of us found out that he was seeing her again that we would interfere and give him hell for it. That’s why he lied.” Alyssa said with certainty and Gemma nodded.

“OK, so obviously this is…a lot more of a sensitive situation than I thought. Like I knew his previous relationships weren’t great, he’d shared that much, but this is…more than just bad I think? I mean, he tried to apologize but I told him that we needed to talk about what exactly happened that made him feel like he needed to lie before I could properly forgive him and move on from it. Like I don’t want to forgive him and next time he’s struggling he falls into her lap again, you know? Like clearly she knows how to get to him and he’s still susceptible to her! And that’s when he got angry. He said that I wasn’t going to get an explanation and to just take the apology and like…I don’t know, maybe I pushed him too far?” She sniffled.

“Bull!” Gemma cut in, “He needs to explain himself!”

“I agree.” Aly said and Y/N sighed.

“Well Harry doesn’t feel like he needs to. He just said he doesn’t want to revisit it and to just trust that he won’t talk to her again. But like…I saw how she got in his head and just the difference over the last few weeks, I mean, it’s not normal or healthy and that’s when he really got pissed and started to leave and I asked him where he was going and he said-” she stopped as her tears started to blur her vision again and Gemma and Aly frowned, “H-he said that m-maybe he would go and fuck Chloe or ummm…file for divorce s-since that’s what I was assuming he was doing anyway…” she cried and the girls literally gasped upon hearing this. “And I got angry and said if he walked out that I didn’t want him home until he was ready to talk about it and then he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and he’d wait for me to call him when I’ve decided to let it go.” She started to cry again and Gemma just hugged her and glanced over at Aly with apprehension.

“I’m really sorry.” She hummed and Y/N just sighed through her tears.

“Like I want to work through this, but I don’t know what I’m truly up against, you know? And like, I didn’t know she was his ex until I called her today and just…the things she said about him were so hurtful and like…I just can’t for the life of me understand why he would choose to interact with someone like that and then defend them like that!?” She said in frustration.

“Well, I know I’m his sister and I love him to death, but this is just the tip of the iceberg of his ugly side if Chloe is involved.” She said and Y/N pulled back and frowned, “Harry was with her for four years. I don’t know what went on in the relationship because he was so far removed from us then, but I know that it wasn’t anything good. That relationship destroyed him. He was already going through so much but that just made it worse and like…as much as he avoided us, we also started to avoid him because he was…awful and mean to everyone when we would even try to understand what was going on with them. We hadn’t spoken for almost a year when I reached out to him again.” She confessed and Y/N sighed.

“I told him he needed to see a therapist after that was over.” Aly said and Gemma nodded.

“I don’t think he ever did.” Y/N said and they sighed, “Like…he’s done a lot of the work himself and like…not that it hasn’t worked, he’s a completely different person even than the version of him I first met. But obviously he works on just what he sees he needs to work on. But like, she knows how to work him and he’s so convinced that she doesn’t affect him.”

“That’s not new…he’s always been in denial about that.” Alyssa said and Y/N wiped her tears away.

“What if he really does what he said and stays away until I change my mind about this? The baby’s coming soon and I can’t do this without him. But I also feel like, if I cave on this…it’s a mistake and I feel like he’s still vulnerable to her and that he will go back the next time something gets difficult. And if something this small had him like this I’m sure that with something bigger she’d somehow manage to turn him against me. I can’t live everyday on edge wondering when is the day that she’s completely won him over and he leaves me!” She expressed sadly with so much frustration bubbling inside of her.

“I know it’s not nearly the same thing as having Harry backing you, but we’re here for you and we’ve got your back on this.” Alyssa said kindly.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Gemma agreed as she gave her a little squeeze.

“Thank you guys. Everyone else didn’t hear the commotion right?”

“No.” Gemma assured.

“Good. The last thing I need is your mom, gran, and Julie ganging up on him when he’s already in a fragile state…” she sighed, “Thank you guys for listening. I felt like maybe I had been really unreasonable with my request to just understand what happened.”

“Not at all unreasonable, it’s just the Chloe-effect.” Alyssa said before making an icky face and Y/N giggled. “Now, I have a serious question for you, Y/N. Are you in need of a pedicure? Because I think we just need to get out of the house for the rest of the afternoon. Help you calm down a bit? Maybe Harry has an epiphany while we’re out.” Alyssa said.

“And if he doesn’t?” She asked.

“Well then at least your feet will be soft and your toenails a cute color.” Gemma said and Y/N smiled.

“Let’s do it then.” She agreed.

***********

Harry had taken a long drive to just think and ended up in Brighton, he had a lot of fond memories there. He didn’t want to talk about Chloe ever again and he could admit that he made a mistake in entertaining her again but he didn’t want to delve into it. He literally hadn’t realized how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone until everything piled up on him today. He was afraid to talk to Y/N about that part of his life because he felt that it would maybe change her view or opinion of him and taint their marriage, if they even had one anymore. Because sure, he was a grouch when he’d met her, but that was tame compared to the person he’d been when he was with Chloe. A part of that came out earlier when he’d said all those awful things to her when she was trying to stop him from leaving. And well, the moment he uttered all of those hurtful things to her he felt so ashamed of himself that he just had to go. She deserved more than a man who had so easily strayed away. She deserved more than someone who deceived her and said hurtful things to her just to get her to lay off.

He was terrified to go back home because he was afraid to prove Chloe right…that he wasn’t capable of loving and nurturing a marriage and much less a child. But whether he and Y/N had anything anymore after this stunt he pulled one thing was certain, he needed to sever all ties with Chloe because even he could recognize that everything started going to shit the second she was back in his life. Once again, he had been seeking her validation. He had intended to just be nice to her, he wasn’t sure at what point the tables turned but they had. He had somehow started out being the one in control and suddenly he wasn’t anymore and it terrified him that he hadn’t even realized it. He needed to just let that go for good, so he dialed her number and she picked up after a few rings.

“Harry, what happened?” She asked him right away.

“Just a huge fucking fight with Y/N…I fucked up and left instead of…giving her that explanation she asked for.” He explained sadly.

“Well, I get why you’re feeling so down all the time now! Your wife’s a real fucking piece of work.” she chuckled.

“Chloe, why would you lie to her about what was going on with us?” He asked and she sighed.

“Because I can see how miserable you are with her, Harry! And I also know you’re too much of a coward to end it. But you have to admit to yourself that this was all a mistake! Because that’s what this whole thing with her is, a mistake. I know you think that you’re cut out for this kind of thing, but you’re not!”

“And why is that?” He asked with a frown.

“Because you’re so… damaged, Harry! How can you be a father when you’re like this?” She questioned. “And I mean this with all the care in my heart, H. I know you think you’re doing better but look at how easily you came back to me! You asked me out, Harry and I accepted. Obviously, deep down you’re not over me and you’re unhappy with your life choices.”

“What? I wanted to catch up and hopefully get some closure, just the one time! But then you started showing up at the gym every day and texting me and asking to see me and talk to me about your problems and your life and I…I felt for you! I just wanted to be a decent person and help you, Chloe. But I…I won’t lose myself in you again.” He stated firmly.

“And do you really think you have anything with her after doing something like this?” She asked him, “Huh? While she’s off somewhere pissed at you, I’m here on the phone with you, because I need you as much as you need me, otherwise you would’ve grown a pair and stayed with her to fix things.” She said.

“This call isn’t for me to vent about the argument I had with my wife. I’m only phoning you to tell you that we’re done. All you ever did was tear me down and make me believe that because I was hurting and not being a great person then that I wasn’t worthy of all of the good things life has to offer. If you loved me as much as you said you did, why would you do that? Why would you make me feel like I wasn’t worthy of love when I desperately needed it the most?” He questioned and she didn’t respond, “Y/N loves me despite my mistakes, which I can assure you are many, and she loved me despite my hurt. She loved me when I was a miserable and broken shell of myself. She helped bring me back and I will love her eternally and be grateful to her for that forever. And I have everything I want and everything I need with Y/N. I really do wish you the best but-”

“How dare you?” She questioned angrily, “You’re just a good for nothing piece of shit, you’d be so lucky t-” he just hung up the phone and took a deep breath before just blocking her number and it was liberating. He was relishing in his small victory when a text from his mum came in.

Upon reading it he immediately forgot all about what he was thinking and called Y/N. He sighed when her phone rang out and then he tried again and no answer. He didn’t even think twice before he ran off to his car. He needed to make sure she was OK. It was nearly a two hour drive and he had tried her again and Alyssa and then Gemma and Skye and no one was picking up. He was about to call his mum back and ask, but then he’d have to explain that he had actually left and that would open up even more issues.

He got home in record time and the house appeared dark. He rushed inside and looked around and well, her phone was on the bedside table…maybe they had to take her to the hospital and they left in a rush. But they would’ve called him…he groaned and just as he was about to head out again he heard laughing at the door and he rushed to the entry way and saw and heard her, with Gemma and Alyssa. He sighed in relief as they opened the entry way and their smiles slowly fell when they saw him.

“Oh thank god, you’re alright.” He said and she looked at him with confusion, “Mum texted something about a panic attack.” He explained.

“Oh, that was probably from what I told them to get them to leave.” Aly cut in and he nodded.

“Right, well are you alright for now?” Gemma asked her quietly, but he still heard her.

“Yeah. Thank you for all the pampering this afternoon and for taking me to the Barbie movie.” She said with a smile to her and Aly who both hugged her tight. They didn’t fail to glare at him while they hugged her and were soon being escorted to the door. Harry just sat at the staircase as they said goodbye and soon Y/N was coming back in and slipping out of her sandals.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I was worried.” He said as he stood.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She assured and just walked past him and to the bedroom. He waited a bit before he decided to just follow after her, but as soon as he made it into the hallway he saw the last bit of the door close and then heard the lock click. He swore that it absolutely broke his heart to have her reject him this way, but he deserved it. Just seeing the disappointment in her eyes made him want to fix this. He walked up to the door and heard her shuffling around the room a bit.

“Ummm, I’m gonna go sleep up stairs then.” He informed and hesitated a bit before speaking up again, “I know I was…a total fucking asshole today. I’m so sorry, baby, I shouldn’t have reacted or left like that. I just…get defensive when it comes to this situation… And I just want you to know that I only love you.” He spoke through the door and just a second later she spoke up, her voice muffled by the door between them as well.

“And I love you too.” She responded softly before he saw the room go dark from the crack under the door. It wasn’t all that late but he’s sure that she was emotionally drained and possibly physically exhausted as well. He went up the stairs and got showered and then into bed.

Harry was so ashamed of himself and everything that came with those horrible four years of his life with Chloe. And he did want to be good enough for Y/N, but evidently there was still a small part of him that believed that he wasn’t and never would be. It’s not like all of the horrible shit he did when he was with Chloe just went away! He felt bad about it every time a memory resurfaced. And the one thing that should’ve made him feel better, but actually made him feel even more like shit was that Y/N still loved him. After everything he’d put her through today, not to mention the last few weeks of deception and even betrayal to some extent, she still made a point to tell him that she loved him. It was crazy to him…he would never withhold his love from her either, but he felt that she provided the good and all he did was hurt her and disappoint her. Even when their paths first crossed she had extended respect and kindness to him when he was awful to her. Maybe if he just explained to her why he was so worried about talking about this she would give him more time to figure out how to share this stuff about his past and how that led to what happened over the last couple weeks. As much as he wanted to avoid talking about it, fixing things with Y/N was far more important than his shame over his past.

With that new priority at the front of his mind Harry sat up from the bed and got into his slippers, he headed to the stair case and when he reached it he stopped at the top of it when he saw Y/N was on her third step up. They both just looked at each other for a moment before she spoke up.

“Are you really gonna make me go all the way up there after the day I’ve had?” She inquired and his lips split in a small smile and he proceeded to hurry down the steps. With each step he took down his eyes flooded with his tears and as soon as she was within arm’s reach he pulled her close as he sniffled.

“I love you so much, baby.” He sighed in relief at the feeling of her being in his arms again and more than that, she hugged him back.

“I know you do. And I love you too.” She assured him and he pulled back to look at her.

“I don’t think I deserve it sometimes.” He confessed through a sniffle and she frowned.

“We all make mistakes-”

“Well I’m the only one fucking up here and you deserve more than that-”

“I’m not perfect by any means. I lied about…the hot Cheetos and the Jaffa cakes.” She said and he chuckled despite his tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s actually far worse than what I lied about.” He said sarcastically and she smiled up at him. She was hopeful that he was ready to share what had happened. She just wanted to understand him. “Ummm, can we sit to talk?”

“Please.” she said and he chuckled and helped her down and to the couch just in the next room over. He flicked on the lamp they had in there to give the space a nice warm glow and she got comfortable on the couch, her back to the armrest as she brought up her legs up over his and hugged a pillow to her body. Harry sat beside her, his hands on her legs and stroked over them softly as he collected his thoughts for a moment.

“Ummm…first off, again, I am so sorry for lying and hiding things from you. For continuing to see Chloe. For the way I’ve been acting the last few weeks, but more importantly for all of the awful things I’ve done today.” He apologized with a small frown, “I will never let myself forget what happened here, like…” he swallowed thickly, “Obviously it’s not the person I want to be.” He finished, “But in order to explain why I am so…vulnerable to Chloe’s shit…I ummm, I have to talk about my relationship with her and ummm…” He exhaled nervously and when his eyes met hers she could see the anxiety and fear and sadness in them, his hands even started trembling a bit and it absolutely broke her heart, “Baby, I mean this with my whole heart! I want to be able t-to talk about it but I can’t talk about this with you yet. And it’s not a you thing, I honestly have never talked about it properly with anyone.” He explained to her and her frown deepened upon hearing this. He’d been carrying this around all by himself for all of these years? He was certainly stronger than she had given him credit for.

“Being with her, those were the worst years of my life and I’ve learned to just accept what it was, you know? Like I can’t change the past and as much as it is what it is ummm…it still…it still hurts a lot if I think about it too much. And like… I wasn’t the best person when I was with her and like…” he sighed as he just worked up the courage to speak. He started anxiously picking at the sides of his fingers and she reached out and grabbed his hands, forcing him to look up at her, “Baby, I guess I’m afraid that if you hear how awful I was maybe you won’t feel the same about me or even look at me in the same way. I’m so ashamed about that whole part of my life and that’s why it’s hard to explain to you how this happened. But what I can tell you is that…I think a part of her is still like… she’s still in my head.” He frowned and she did as well, nodding in understanding. “And I have tried everything to just stop hearing her voice in there. Like, I’m already hard on myself but like…this is different. It’s like on a whole different level and it really makes me doubt myself. One thing she’d always tell me was that I wasn’t good enough for a family of my own. That because of my intense grief I wasn’t strong enough of a person to have…well, to have what we have together.” He said and Y/N shook her head in disbelief with a pout.

“She really said that to you?” She asked and he couldn’t bear to look at her as he nodded.

“Yeah. All the time. And I would see the way I’d treat my friends and my family and how…shitty I was and so I…believed it. I believed what she told me and I had made peace with it.” He chuckled sadly, “It was the reason why she “couldn’t be faithful” to me,” he said with air quotes, “Because I wasn’t good enough for a real committed relationship and I think that…when I do something wrong or I…hurt your feelings, like when I told you I felt trapped,” he said and she nodded, “I think ummm…it’s like a confirmation bias, you know? Like everything she said about me was right. Like I wasn’t built for this. Like I don’t…deserve it.” he explained and Y/N’s heart was breaking for him, “I hope this is enough o-of an explanation for you, but that’s all I can talk about right now without feeling like…basically like she’s won. Again.” He explained softly. Just the idea of him feeling like Chloe had won made Y/N’s blood boil in a way she had never felt before. She would equate it to the wrath of god. She couldn’t believe someone would be so cruel on purpose.

“Look at me, H.” She said quietly, his eyes met hers again with some uncertainty. But Harry was relieved that she wasn’t looking at him with pity, like he was broken. There was just love and compassion as she looked at him, “Look at what we have together and how far you’ve come from that! She didn’t win then and she hasn’t won now. You have.” She said to him and Harry just felt the lump in his throat bob violently before he started to sob.

“And yes, what you’ve shared is enough for now and you’re enough for me. More than! Always.” She offered a soft and encouraging smile, “And I do forgive you, baby. And your family forgives you too. And look, that’s all good and well, but I think you might still be so affected by all of this because…you haven’t forgiven yourself.” She explained and his eyes softened as he choked on another sob, “What you said earlier about not forgetting about what happened, I agree that we need to sometimes remind ourselves of past instances where we went about things the wrong way. Like we can’t erase mistakes, they help us learn and do better, right? But it shouldn’t be this thing where you’re holding your mistakes over your head all the time, baby. I love you so much and so does your family, none of us are ever going to hold your shortcomings over your head. So why should you?” She asked him and he shrugged as he gasped for air. “Oh, come here, my love.” She tutted and he just surged forward and nestled into her side as best as he could. “I love you so much.” She said softly.

Sure, he had made things right with everyone else he had hurt and it was enough for a while but he had never gotten around to making things right with himself. And ultimately the forgiveness and acceptance that he needed the most to be able to heal fully was his own, but he wouldn’t be able to do that alone.

“I love you.” He hiccuped, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You mean everything to me. You’re my whole life. You have to know that. I’m sorry.” He whispered over and over as she just held him for several minutes until his crying calmed down enough that he could properly breathe again.

“Baby, when I say this to you it’s just a suggestion and like…I want you to seriously consider it.” She said and he hummed, “H-have you ever thought of meeting with a therapist to like…work through all of this?” She asked and he pulled back and nodded as he sniffled.

“Yeah, I’ve made so many appointments but ummm…I always flake out because I think that…that they’ll get a look at me and be like how does some scary looking guy let another person fuck him up so badly? Like why couldn’t I have just left sooner or like…seen through her shit, you know?”

“Well, first off it’s no one’s place to judge you, specially a therapist. But also, when I said Chloe is not sane, I mean that, like medically.” She said and Harry chuckled and bit through his tears and she smiled, “It really wasn’t an insult to her, like just from the ten minutes I spoke with her it was clear that she has issues of her own to resolve. I’m sure she has the capacity to be a great person, like all people do! And I’m sure that the version of her you first met and interacted with and even…fell in love with wasn’t this.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, not really.” He confirmed.

“I mean, maybe she has her own mental illness that she never talked to you about or something in her past that’s made her this way. But like…if it’s something serious and chronic, like a personality disorder, for example…if you’re not emotionally equipped to handle that, which most people who aren’t trained professionals aren’t, it can be extremely traumatic to have people like that in your life, H. And I will acknowledge that you’ve done a fantastic job of healing on your own and regaining your light and your nurturing and loving nature! Trust me, I see it every single day, baby, and I’m so proud of you for it.” She reassured him, “We all love how hard you love us and value us all, but I think it’s time to do that for yourself too. I mean, just in light of being parents now it’s something to…to consider.” She said and he nodded, “Like…I’ll probably need some therapy too after the fallout with my family. Like, I think about it and I feel so angry at them and I feel…betrayed by them and I want to get back at them somehow.” She explained, “But I don’t want our baby to grow up and see that unresolved anger and spite towards them. Like, obviously what they’ve done has hurt me unimaginably and who knows how long this beef’ll last with them…” she sighed, “But like, it’s OK to feel hurt, but I don’t want to walk around for years being angry and bitter at them. It’s just not healthy, you know?”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He said softly.

“You deserve to heal from this, baby.” She said and he nodded. They were quiet for a few seconds as she let him process all of this.

“Baby? D-do you think if I do…therapy that they’d let you stay with me until I feel comfortable doing it alone?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, I think that shouldn’t be an issue.” She assured. “Though with the baby coming soon it might be a little tough.”

“We’ll just do it online for a bit then.” He said and she smiled and nodded, “Can I kiss you?” He asked and she nodded.

“Of course.” She said and he was careful and he kind of straddled her and leaned in to kiss her lips gently before pulling her into his side and getting comfortable beside her as best as they could with their limited space not he couch.

“You know, you’re the complete opposite of Chloe.” He said softly, “I think that’s why at first I hated you.”

“Hated?!” She gasped playfully and he smiled and shrugged a bit.

“If not hate, it was pretty close to it.” He confessed and she sniggered a bit.

“If I was the opposite, why would you hate me?” She questioned in some confusion.

“Because ummm…you weren’t her. Like I wasn’t in love with her anymore but I did miss the good bits.” He said softly, “I think that first day, after we had that little tiff and then you came back in and apologized? That just threw me off my orbit.” He said through a chuckle, “And I felt like a fucking child…like I didn’t know anything about human interactions. No one had been accountable for their shit and apologized to me in…fuck I couldn’t even remember. It made me angry that you felt I needed an apology because I felt like… I didn’t deserve it so I was a dick to you. Like…almost as if I needed to prove to you why I didn’t deserve your niceties or an apology. And down the line, it’s like, I wanted to see your ugly side but your reactions to my antagonizations were always the opposite of what I expected and…wanted to some extent. But that really shone a light on how badly I was being treated before and seeing you growing and flourishing and everyone liking you from the get-go…for me it was like…everything I’d ever wanted and wished for was being given to someone else. All that support and affection and friendship. Even I liked you, but I was jealous. And then you were so nice to me when I got stood up and it…gave me hope again.” He explained to her and she hummed in acknowledgment, letting him get it all out there.

“That’s when I decided to stop dwelling on what I had endured and just let something good happen to me because I really needed it. I mean, I had no idea what would come of me letting you into my life. Maybe it was just going to be another lesson and loss…” he chuckled, “But letting you in was the best decision of my life, whether it was short-lived or long-haul, I just knew that I would never be the same after you, in a good way.” He smiled and she did as well. “I love you in ways I never knew were possible, even more so now that you’re carrying our little boy, I mean…” he inhaled sharply to prevent himself from crying again but he couldn’t help it and whimpered on a sob before speaking again, “I’m sorry for taking what we have for granted.” He sniffled, “This is really the most special thing two people can do together. And it’s not lost on me that…that I have to prove myself to you now and earn back the trust that I broke. But I promise you that I will work hard every single day to show you two that I’m the person you’ll need me to be.”

“You already do, baby.” She assured him, “And we all get in our heads or make mistakes sometimes. And I want you to know that I don’t expect perfection from you. I just want you to try your best and I’ll try my best.” She said with a smile, “Saw this thing from Brené Brown once about how she and her husband check on each other when they reconvene after their days.” She said and he hummed. “They have a rule that between the both of them they need to make 100% and they have like a limit for what’s passing. So say 80%. Like if one of us had a super shitty day, we focus on taking care of that person and our family. Like maybe we get takeout instead, or do the laundry the next day…whatever it be that we need to put aside, we put it aside and prioritize caring for the partner who is struggling the most.” She explained. “And if both of our scores are less than 80 combined s’the same concept, we just do what we need to do to look after ourselves and put everything else aside.”

“I really like that.” He said and she nodded.

“Me too. And like…I feel like maybe I’m a bit too emotionally attached to your grandma because of what happened with mine, you know?” She said and he nodded, “And I mean, I’m also starting to just think a lot about delivering the baby and sometimes I feel like…what did I get myself into…” she said through a little chuckle.

“Oh, as do I.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah…I’m terrified.” She admitted, “I also feel like maybe I might not be cut out for this sometimes and it’s not like I regret it, but sometimes I wonder if we moved into this too soon or…I don’t know, I just get in my head.” She explained and he frowned upon hearing this, “So I think, we’ve both been…struggling on our own for a while and not really communicating that to not worry the other. When in reality we’re supposed to be in this together and share the load and the worries and the joys. So I’m more than willing to just…have this last month just be us working this out together and preparing for our baby together.” She said and he smiled.

“Really?” He asked and she hummed, “And this has nothing to do with the fact that gran’s cleaned you out at gin every day last week?” He asked teasingly and she laughed.

“Well, just a bit.” She admitted and he chuckled, “But mostly because I’ve missed you the last few weeks.” She confessed, “I’ve missed you a lot.”

“I’ve missed you too. I have one condition though.”

“OK. Name it.”

“No more knitting. Please.” Harry pleaded with a small laugh.

“Fine…was planning on making you some slippers but-”

“I’m not an OAP! I don’t need knitted slippers. Also, they have no traction, so unless you want me to die tumbling down the stairs or something, no thanks.” He laughed and she giggled as well.

“Yeah, definitely not. So no knitting. I also have a condition.”

“Alright, name it and it’s done.”

“Brilliant! You’re going to tell your grandma about it just being us from here on out.” She said and he scoffed through a humorless laugh.

“Absolutely not. I can’t hurt her feelings like that…no way.”

“Well I can’t either! We’re besties!”

“We’ll draw straws.” He suggested.

“Baby, I’m pregnant. In such a delicate state, you can’t put such a stressful task on me. Besides, I already have to do the most grueling and difficult task bestowed upon a human being in just five weeks…so, I think you should take one for team Styles.” She said and he sighed loudly.

“You’re pulling that card are you?” He asked and she hummed smugly as she nodded and he chuckled, “That’s so mean.”

“I will while I can. Every. Single. Time. And you can take that to the bank.” She smirked.

“Fine…I’ll break up with my gran for you but you owe me big time for this…A favor of my choosing at the time of my choosing.”

“OK.” She agreed and he smiled and sighed happily as he relished in the feeling of her beside him once again. She literally was the best person he knew. They had fallen silent for a bit before his voice put an end to the quiet.

“My new passcode is your due date, 1707.” He said softly, “I changed it 2 weeks ago actually, before all of this because Archie really did download like 10 games and also managed to purchase like fifty pounds worth of something on one of them.” He clarified and she smiled. “And…Chloe’s first text actually has a perfectly reasonable explanation. Which is that we biked to SOHO, on those electric bikes? After we’d grabbed a coffee.” He said and she started to giggle, “Also we both happened to attend the same indoor cycling class…that’s how we saw each other again. So after an hour of that and then randomly biking to SOHO and back-”

“Pelvic floor and leg pain guaranteed…” Y/N cut in and he nodded, “God, cycling is just the worst.”

“It’s just not for everyone.” He said and she smiled.

“Just for sadomasochists.” She joked and he laughed.

“Should we go to bed?”

“Yeah, baby.” She hummed.

He was so happy they had been able to talk before the day was out. After this experience and conversation with Y/N, Harry mentally decided that he wouldn’t be so scared to communicate with her ever again. It never really went how he imagined it would. He was a classic self-saboteur and over-thinker, so he would picture the worst case scenarios more often than not. But Y/N always put all of her effort to listen and understand him and she was always patient and loving in her responses. She had proven it to him time and time again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he felt so lucky to be loved by her.

**********

The next day Harry had a conversation with his grandmother when he drove her back to his mum’s house. He came clean about everything and the reason why they needed this time alone together. She was understanding, of course, but did give him a bit of a talking to though. However, she too told him that she loved him when they said goodbye.

In lieu of her being over all day though, they decided to just ask her, his mum, and Julie over for dinner a couple times a week and that had actually been really pleasant. It gave Harry a chance to really brush up on his cooking skills, because Y/N and Julie had him spoiled back in LA. But soon enough he’d have to look after Y/N while she recovered from the baby. And tonight they were having dinner alone, but he decided he’d make her shepherd’s pie with cheesy top. It had been a childhood favorite of his and well, he hadn’t eaten it in nearly 8 years since he had chosen to be a friend and ally to the animals. But as he smelled it coming together he decided to cancel making one with meat substitute for himself and just indulging this time with her.

“Smells fantastic.” She hummed her compliment as she came into the kitchen slowly.

“Thank you, baby. I think you’re really gonna like this one.” He said as he continued washing the things he had used to prepare the dish. She walked behind him and lightly scratched at his back a few times before she passed him and went to the fridge. “What’re you looking for in there? Food’s about to be ready.”

“You had brought some cheese yesterday and I wanted a bit.” She said with a little smile and he chuckled.

“Sorry baby, s’in the food.” He explained and she pouted.

“Alright then…no snack for me.” She mumbled before turning back and walking back over to him.

Harry smiled when she hugged her body around his, her cheek smushed into his back before she kissed it a few times and then smiled, being just a bit of a bother as he tried to finish cleaning up, but he didn’t mind her clinginess.

They had been working really hard to patch up everything form before. Not just him, but her too. Sometime’s he’d find her crying over a new stretch mark or her achey boobs, or just from feeling so physically drained, or nervous about delivering the baby. He had no idea that she had been struggling on her own like this. The first few times she got embarrassed for it, but she still let him be there for her through it. And with him it was more of that fear he had about his ability to be a good father. He’d share his concern and doubts and they’d work through it together like a proper team, and just like that things were on the mend. Truly, being there at every moment, experiencing the way life was just coming into their little baby boy was tethering them to each other in ways that he never knew were possible. It was extraordinary to witness and even on the hard days they never failed to take a moment before bed to just be grateful for the life they had together.

… JULY …

Y/N’s due date was in two weeks and she and Harry had once again taken a drive to the hospital she was supposed to give birth at to really nail down the fastest route possible. She couldn’t really move so much now so they just went to the class to bounce on the yoga balls and socialize with the other people and to do the meditations and affirmations portion of it all. Harry could see the way it improved her confidence so he made a point to not miss the class. Being there he’d also started to make friends with some of the other non-birthing partners in the class. He’d even met up for lunch with a few of them once already and planned to continue nurturing those friendships. And well, he knew he could also count on Skye and Nathan to talk about these things if he ever had doubts. He loved how supportive Y/N was of him also needing to build his connections with other young and new fathers.

“I think the route we took yesterday was better.” Harry said as they pulled into their street.

“This one seemed shorter, no?”

“Technically yes, but I’ve noticed that they do construction at night and it gets backed up. So if the baby comes in the night it would be best to go the other way. We’d be taking more main streets, so the traffic lights will be in our favor.” He pointed out and she hummed.

“Good, strategic thinking, Mr. Styles.”

“Thank you, I try.” He smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him, baby.” He said with a wide grin.

“Neither can I! I just…I want to hold his little hand. He’s been a good baby so far, not throwing any crazy ragers in here.” She said and Harry nodded through a chuckle.

“Right. Mum said I was pretty even tempered until I was a toddler. Do you know if you were?” He asked her, glancing over to her quickly.

“Not too sure.” She responded. “I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot.” She said and he reached for her hand and she offered a tight lipped smile. Harry knew this was a very difficult and painful subject for her to broach.

“Yeah? With the baby?”

“Yeah.” She confirmed, “I wish they were happy for us. For me…” she said glancing up at him quickly and he nodded. “Ughh, I don’t even know why it bothers me anymore!” She groaned in frustration, “It’s not like they’ve been present for the last 6 years of my life.” She mumbled.

“It’s your parents, baby. Of course it’s going to bother you.” Harry reasoned. “I know you don’t want contact but maybe if you’re up for it we can send a Christmas card for the holidays you know? That way they can see you’re doing good and also see Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I don’t want them to ever tell me I never tried, you know?”

“Exactly. I think it’s important that we do things like that. To show them that they’re still on our minds but that also, we’re doing really well. Just the right balance of considerate and petty.” He said with a little grin.

“Yeah, that’s so true.” She giggled. “I’m curious, what do you think will be your greatest strength as a dad?” She asked him and this made Harry smile as he thought about it.

“Hmmm…I don’t know…” he wondered aloud, “I haven’t thought of it.” He said honestly, “Maybe…ummm…” he said again and when she glanced over at him he was slightly frowning now. “Dunno, can’t think of anything.” He finally said lowly, as if disappointed in himself for not knowing and she was quick to scoff at his self doubt.

“Well I’ve thought about it a lot.” She said with a smile as they turned onto their street. “You’re really great when things get challenging, which I’m sure they will at some point, so I think you’d be the one who remains calm more than me. You’re also very patient, which I know will come in handy for…well the rest of our lives.” She said and he smiled, “You’re also really good at admitting your mistakes and doing what needs to be done to correct them, which is huge! I think responsibility and accountability are excellent traits to model for kids. You’re also the one with self-discipline and have far more structure than I ever will, and kids thrive on structure; you’re definitely going to be the parent that makes rules fun. You’re also very intelligent and a fast learner, and so open to change, so I think you will adjust a lot faster than I will to a baby. You can be fun and silly, which I think is one of my favorite things about you, you know when to be and when not to be.” She pointed out.

“I also think that the way you show your love is also very admirable and wholistic. Like you’re very adaptable with it based on the person’s needs. So if that means doing something for someone, carving out some time in your day for something, or just giving a cuddle when needed you’d do it. Literally, you’re so supportive, you do whatever it takes to show someone you love that you care about them.” She said, “Ughhh, you’re gonna be the best dad, H.” She said with a big smile as he parked the car in front of their garage and turned to her with a big smile as well.

“Wow, thank you. I got a little scared for a moment there…” he confessed, “Maybe I am very cut out for this.”

“Oh certainly.” She nodded.

“And you? What do you think you’d be best at?”

“I think I’m very patient as well, maybe not as much as you, but it’s up there.”

“I mean, you deal with me so I’d say you’re excellent at patience.” He said and she giggled.

“OK, well that…I also think I’m very good at empowering others and encouraging independence. So I think I’d be able to teach Charlie how to be capable and self-sufficient. I think I’m a great listener and very supportive. And I think that I’m good at communicating, so teaching Charlie right from wrong, boundaries, expectations…and of course, I think I would be able to love him wholeheartedly and unconditionally, which in the end is really the most important thing we could do for him, I think. I’ll definitely have to learn how to be a bit more firm from you, but other than that I think we’ve got mostly all the bases covered!” She said gleefully.

“I love you so fucking much.” Harry said with a loving smile.

“I love you too.” She hummed back happily and then her smile dropped a bit, “I’ve also been thinking about…like, if…” she exhaled shakily, “Like god forbid something goes…wrong-” She said and Harry’s good mood immediately melted away as he shook his head.

“Don’t even say that, Y/N…Please, Jesus…” He frowned with a disapproving shake of his head. Quite literally rejecting the idea verbally and physically.

“Like…I know it’s awful to think about but you just never know what the future holds and I just…I want you to know that if for any reason you’re faced with a difficult decision I want you to know that I fully trust you to do what you think is best.” Y/N stated as she reached for his hand and he glanced over to her, already feeling anxious at the prospect of anything going wrong. “I just…need you to promise me that you’ll trust your gut and know that I trust you too, with my life, babe. Always.” She said emphatically and he swallowed down that anxiety and nodded.

“OK. I promise.” He agreed solemnly and she offered a tight-lipped smile to him.

“I’m sorry if I’m scaring you. It’s going to be fine, everything looks great, you’ve heard the doctor say it as well. But just…just in case, you know?”

“OK.” He said before bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it before expelling all of the negative thoughts now with a deep exhale.

“I’ve ruined the appetite for lunch, haven’t I?” She said monotonously and Harry’s lips quirked up in the biggest grin ever, “What?” She asked at his sudden shift in mood.

“That was maybe the most British-sounding thing you’ve ever said! It’s exciting!” He chuckled and she groaned.

“Oh god, please stop me before I become one of those people with a fake accent…” she mumbled and he laughed.

“I think you might develop one over time…I mean, if this is your home now a couple things are bound to rub off.” he shrugged with a satisfied little smirk.

“I know that, but just as long as I don’t sound like an idiot…”

“Oh you will for a bit, but we’ll love you just the same.” He assured with a grin and leaned over to kiss her lips despite the little pout on them, “OK, my excellent comedic timing and humor have helped me regain appetite. C’mon, my love.” He said as he unbuckled her seatbelt before undoing his own and hurrying over to help her down from the car.

Their afternoon was pretty quiet and now Y/N was having a nice cool bath before bed. Sure, it wasn’t LA hot, but try carrying around all of the extra weight and tell someone that 77 degrees isn’t scorching hot. Not to mention, their house wasn’t a new build so they didn’t have AC, much to Y/N’s chagrin. If there was anything she missed about LA it was that, even Julie was struggling because she preferred sleeping in the cold. So the next best thing was to just sit in a cool bubble bath for a bit so that she could be refreshed before getting into bed. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her tossed back, relaxing against her bath pillow as Harry’s shower playlist and his singing along filled the bathroom with a joyous sound. Wings’ “She’s My Baby” faded out as he switched off the water and there was a second of silence before the unmistakeable chords of Hot Chocolate’s “You Sexy Thing” came through the speakers.

“Woo!” Harry exclaimed in excitement and it made Y/N’s eyes flutter open as she laughed at his very enthusiastic reaction to the song. “I believe in miracles…where you frooo-om, you sexy thing? You sexy thing you.” He sang as he sashayed out of the shower and into her line of sight. She glanced over to him, shaking her head and fighting to hold in her laughter because he was stark naked, dancing in the bathroom as he serenaded her, “I believe in miracles since you came alo-o-ong, you sexy thing!” he sang now while pointing straight at her as he approached her; his toned body rolling smoothly as he danced his way over.

“Please be careful, you’re gonna slip!” She warned through her giggling as he came over to the tub.

“Where did you come from, baby?” He sang with a theatrical, inquisitive expression over his face as he tilted her chin up, “How did you know, I needed you? How did you know I needed you so badly? How did you know I’d give my heart-Oh shit!” He gasped, his eyes wide with fear as he slipped in his own puddle of water just as he was trying to step into the tub.

“I’m telling you to be careful!” She laughed as she shook her head and scooted up, hugging her knees to her body as much as she possibly could to let him slide into the bubble bath with her. When she felt his warmth behind her she stretched her legs again and fell back against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her as he rested his head against hers.

“Now you’re lying close to me giving it to meee-eee!” He continued singing against her as if he hadn’t almost eaten shit, “I believe in miracles…” he hummed as his hands left her bump and grabbed her thighs, “Where you from, you sexy thing?” He whispered now against the shell of her ear with a grin as his fingers inched towards her inner thighs.

They hadn’t actually done anything physically intimate for her in maybe three months, if not very close to that. And it wasn’t for lack of need, just the mechanics of it were getting weird for Y/N. She was eager to do anything for Harry, who didn’t want to accept unless she would allow him to reciprocate. But she’d always end up convincing him one way or another to at least accept a blowie or even just a hand job because lately his pleasure was enough for her. She just had this like…mental block when it came to her pleasure right now. She couldn’t concentrate enough to come for a lot of reasons. Like one time, they had tried to have sex and he was spooning her and she was starting to get close when the baby started to kick and it just got weird for her.

She obviously knew that physically Harry’s dick and their baby were nowhere near each other, but having both of those things happen simultaneously just killed the mood for her. She felt like they weren’t alone and it just made having an orgasm hard. Like did the baby feel what was going on? Or did all the chemicals her brain released from the pleasure make the baby more active? She had no idea, so she googled it…apparently they did feel something and after learning that it just got harder and harder for her. But did she want it, yes, and badly!

Harry was in a bit of a frisky mood himself. Over the last few weeks that they'd been spending alone, preparing for the baby, he had been experiencing these emotions he wasn't all that familiar with. He felt so possessive and protective of her right now, but in a way that made him lust after her. He knew that she didn’t feel gorgeous and radiant most of the time now, like she had at first, but to him she was the pinnacle of beauty, especially now. He loved how strong and powerful she was in every capacity. He appreciated the new things he learned her body could do and how it adapted and changed as she literally nurtured their son to life. He felt so proud of her, but also of himself. Lately it made him all hot and bothered to know that she was carrying his baby, that he had done this with her, to her. That everyone knew this when they’d go to yoga or out on walks or to run errands together. Y/N was beautiful, anyone with the ability to see it could see that, so when anyone would steal a glance of her and then see her bump while he protectively loomed over her they’d know that she was all his and that just made him feel feral and so fucking cocky.

He’d never given much thought to how real the theory of evolution was, but this innate and almost animalistic need to protect what was his, to show off what he’d done with her, to take care of her and their son, it was instinctual. It came from some unearthed primal part of himself that he didn’t know he had until now. And Harry loved this new side of himself and knowing that his precious and sexy little wife had a breeding kink basically had him simmering all the time. Sure, she was having a hard time orgasming as of late, but as he nipped at her earlobe while his fingers felt the slimy texture of her around as he dipped his fingertip at her opening, he knew that she wanted it badly and he was going to give that to her. He was happy to revisit some of their kinkier preferences to help her surrender to her pleasure.

“Baby…” she whispered as he guided his slicked up finger to her clit and swirled it around it, teasing her just a bit before she wriggled a bit and he took the hint to rub over her sensitive and surely needy little bud. Harry was relishing in the satisfied exhale that had her melting against his body.

“I know it’s been hard, but you’re going to come for me.” He mumbled lowly and she moaned, “Remember before? I’d just keep going until you couldn’t help but come for me? That’s how we’re gonna do this. Fuck, I need to taste you, my love. Need it so bad.” He groaned as his cock started to stiffen up at the idea of getting to lick and lap at all her sensitive spots until she was writhing in pleasure beneath him.

“Fuck, please H.” She sighed breathily and he smiled as he brought his left hand up to her breast.

He was gentle as he squeezed it in his palm and rubbed his thumb over her nipple, back and forth, feeling it growing harder and harder with each rub over it. She was already so sensitive there as her body got closer and closer to her due date. She was just so tender that his touches soon started to overstimulate her sensitive nipple until she was gasping. She could feel her clit throbbing and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to just focus on the pleasure, to not lose that spark that was flickering inside of her.

“Rub your clit f’me.” He instructed as his other hand came to her right breast. Her nipple already peaked from the pleasure she was experiencing, but when he started teasing that one as well she started to spark up. “That’s it, baby. Feel how good it is?” She nodded as she whined out lowly at just how overwhelming it was starting to feel. Her nipples ached and her back was slightly arching into his touch and out of nowhere he pinched them between his thumbs and index fingers. She choked on a groan before he let go and she was panting in relief as her body relaxed against his, “Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, but in a good way.” She responded lowly as two of her fingers swirled and brushed over her clit.

“‘In a good way?’” He teased her haughtily, repeating her own filth back to her, “Made you a wife and a mum, a nice respectable woman, but nothing’s gonna change the fact that you’re a filthy little slut for me, will it?” He teased and she whimpered as he pinched at her nipples again, “I know she’s still in there, my favorite little freak. That perfect little cum slut that took every fucking load, like a good girl.”

“Harry-” she swallowed thickly as she felt her body starting to burn from the inside out. Wincing at the pressure being applied to her sore nipples once again.

“And look at you now, pregnant with my baby for being such a desperate and needy little thing…” he mused, “And you’re as beautiful as the day I first saw you and then some.” He smiled, “Fuck, it drives me insane knowing that I did this to you. You’re all mine, aren’t you?” He asked and she nodded, “Say it. Tell daddy, you’re his.”

“Yes, I’m all yours, daddy.” She whimpered as her legs started to tense up as her pleasure increased.

“Yes, you are. Always gonna take such good care of you, my love.” he promised. “I’m gonna need you to get out of your pretty, little head and let me do just that.” He purred.

Before she knew it, he was helping her onto their bed so that she was reclining against the headboard and he kissed her sloppily before dropping down to his tummy and kissing in between her legs. His tongue was flicking at her clit over and over and over again. He was aiming to get her from sharp inhales to animalistic moans. How she had missed his mouth…she obviously hadn’t been in the mood to maintain herself as religiously as before and she knew Harry didn’t mind, but she was a bit embarrassed about it too. But feeling his mouth and tongue zealously working to get her off she threw out all the shame she felt. He really didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Please use your fingers.” She mumbled and she moaned in relief when he fit two of his long, thick digits into her entrance. He expertly massaged her walls with them, finding and stimulating her internal pleasure points before curling his fingers up and settling at her g-spot. It had been so long that she almost immediately started to lose it. She was so sensitive and eager for an orgasm. She wished she could properly see him, but the bulge of her belly was mostly in the way, she couldn’t even comfortably grab his hair or head, this caused for her legs to kick and writhe as she had no other way to express her pleasure. “Oh my god, baby! I’m so close!” She gasped and he moaned against her pussy before gently sucking at her clit until her legs were trembling and she was coming undone with a scream of his name. “Fuck Harry!” She wailed as he kept going despite her sensitivity. Her head was thrown back and she was whimpering at the overstimulation as he refused to come to a stop. Soon the torture morphed back into pleasure as she surrendered herself to the idea that Harry was set on making up for lost time right now.

“Oh my god, don’t stop…please, don’t stop!” She whispered breathlessly as her fingers dug into the bed covers until her knuckles were white. Harry’s moans seemed to be reverberating through her entire body as his fingers plunged deep into her and fucked her sweet spot until once again, she was crying out as her orgasm crashed over her. Rolling her in beautiful currents of pleasure. His continuous movements were drawing out the delicious, ticklish feeling that was bursting from her tummy through her body. “Mmm, that’s so good.” She hummed as he started to just lap over her clit, gradually coming to a slow to ease her out of it. Her breathing was ragged as the aftershocks of her orgasm caused her legs to twitch and tingle.

“You alright there?” He asked smugly as he kissed her inner thigh.

“More than. Wow, thank you.” She giggled breathily and he smiled before pressing himself up and leaning over her to kiss her lips quickly.

“Can I reciprocate?” She mumbled against his lips.

“Fuck no.” he hummed and she chuckled.

“Baby, please…” she begged.

“We either have sex or the blowie. And I’d much rather do the things that will get the both of us off. Unless you’re done.” he mumbled against her lips.

“Not done, just don’t know if I could even come from penetration.” She explained, “So I’d rather you get to come properly than to keep trying to make me finish that way when I don’t even think I will.” She reasoned.

“Well good thing I got you a little something to help.” He said and she furrowed her eyebrows as he drew back. “Wait here.” He hummed before pecking her lips once more.

“Not a problem.” She assured him as he hurried off of the bed, “Don’t even think I could move from this position.” She said to herself. She was so over being pregnant that she wasn’t even too concerned about the birthing part, she just wanted her body back for herself. She wanted to be able to move how she wanted, to walk around without feeling like every step she took created a small scale seismic event, she wanted to stop feeling swollen and tired. She wanted to sleep on her back, even if she never really had before, but she just missed having the option! She was about fucking ready.

“OK, so I got you this.” He said coming out with a pink silicone vibrating ring. It had little bunny ears though, which she deduced were for her clit. Harry had always been the one to bring toys into their sexual life and each time she’d been blown away, so she knew this time would be no different. “S’got 5 speeds.” He said as he climbed back on the bed, kneeling before her. “You can wear it so you can control it.” He said and she nodded, reaching out for it to inspect it.

“Well, thank you.” She giggled in amusement and he chuckled.

“Course, baby.” He responded with a smile.

Shifting from their typically intense and fiery preferences when they had sex, Harry was gentle and slow paced. He’d never been one to rush into things, but right now he was doing everything he possibly could to help her relax so that she could be in a headspace where she was enjoying every bit of this instead of worrying about everything. Harry’s lips kissed up her arm, making her smirk at the tickle from his scruffy facial hair. As he trailed up her neck she let her head roll to the side to give him space to suck and smooch at her neck to his heart’s content. His hands had made their way to her breasts, gently massaging them, easing the soreness that she’d been feeling more intensely over the last weeks. She was about to have his baby, she should allow herself to spoiled by him. She sighed as he licked over her nipple before sucking gently, letting his tongue flit about.

“Just not too hard.” She whimpered when he got lost in it and bit down on her a bit.

“Sorry, baby.” He mumbled before moving to the other, “You can start using your ring by the way.” He said and she giggled breathily before fiddling with it to get it on. In the meantime, Harry started suckling at her other nipple, making her impatient to get the fucking thing on. When it switched on she immediately got the chills as she watched the little “ears” buzzing vigorously.

“Help me, yeah? I can’t actually see down there.” She said and he popped off of her with a chuckle and pulled back to help her position it over her clit perfectly. He smirked when she gasped as the ear vibrated the whole of her clit. She was already sensitive from the orgasms he’d given her with his mouth. Even on the low setting, it was intense and he glanced up to see her eyebrows pinched together as her clit was basically embraced by the vibrator. “I’m coming!” She mewled and he couldn’t help but laugh in delight as she started to pull it away, but he held her hand there until her legs were trembling and she was screaming, convulsing and out of control. “Baby!” She gasped.

“You can do it. Give yourself another one.” He said with wild eyes and she shook her head. Of course she wanted another one, but she was getting pummeled by these orgasms, she’d been without them for so long that they felt monumental to her. “Or should I turn it up and make you?” He asked and she moaned and just tossed her head back as she waited for it to build up again. When she felt him sinking his fingers back into her sopping entrance she knew she was done for.

“Fuck me!” She gasped when he curled them into that spot only he seemed to have found. He was diligent as he prodded into it without pulling his fingers out too far. She exhaled shakily as she felt her orgasm building again. And he smiled before going just a bit harder, “Fuck baby, just like that! Fuck, don’t stop!” She pleaded.

“Yeah? Gonna come for me?”

“Yes! Yes…fuck you’re gonna make me come!” She panted and moments later her muscles were contracting around his fingers. Squeezing and retracting harshly as she grew sticky with her come. The wet sounds of his fingers inside of her growing louder as her orgasm started peaking. He could feel her hips following his movements until she started to come down from it. The pulsing of her inner walls becoming more and more sporadic. When she finally opened her eyes he let go of her hand and she pulled the vibrator away as she swallowed thickly to catch her breath.

“Good?”

“So good.” She sighed with a smile as with drew his fingers from her. He glanced down to see them absolutely coated in her arousal and come. He reached down to his cock, already dribbling with precum and smeared her sticky, milky mess along his shaft.

“Fuck.” He cursed lowly. He was way too hard, he felt the ache shooting down to his swollen balls. He was back to not getting himself off, only would come when she’d do something for him, so he was overdue for his own orgasm and his excitement was evident of it.

She couldn’t necessarily see between her legs to get a view of him stroking his cock, but she bit her lip hard and watched as his muscular arm shifted back and forth with his strokes. It was like the perfect tease. She had seen his cock so many times that she could just imagine how he was stroking it, how he’d thumb over the tip to smear his precum down and lubricate his cock for a better glide. His eyes were honed in on her pussy. She imagined it was pobably, pulsing and glistening with the evidence of her orgasms. When his eyes raked up her body he smiled.

“Damn, look at you.” He groaned, there was a hunger in his eyes that she’d never seen before. “Look so fucking perfect.” He said and she smiled, “It just makes me…so fucking crazy that you’re pregnant with my baby.” He said and she realized what was going on.

“Yeah?” She asked quietly and he nodded. “It gets you off that you knocked me up?” She asked, playing along and he nodded. “S’what you wanted, isn’t it?” She asked.

“Fuck yeah, thought about it so many times.” He hummed as he started stroking faster. “Thank fuck I did. You’re exquisite.” He said. “Can’t wait to do it again.” He smirked friskily and she chuckled.

“Please fuck me.” She said and he nodded. He helped her onto her side and laid behind her and helped her get a bit more comfortable.

Y/N’s heart was pounding with excitement just from feeling his big cock smushed against her backside. He help position her hand with the vibrator back over her clit. She whimpered and struggled with keeping it there, already clutching to the bedcover to not get too carried away yet.

Harry was taking his time, thrusting between her legs, wetting his cock with all of her slick. The squelching sounds of it all were enough to make her dizzy. She lived for the feeling of his tip catching against the dip of her entrance over and over with increasing speed until his arm wrapped around her body to pulled her flush to his body and then he just plunged inside all the way and she gasped at the sudden, but most welcomed intrusion. He moaned lowly and buried his face in the back of her neck, biting down gently as he started to thrust slow and deep. She forgot how thick he was as he split her walls apart with his methodical thrusts. She could hardly make any sounds as her body vibrated with pleasure. The bulbous head of his cock was colliding into that spot where his fingers had been and she was literally seeing stars. Harry could tell he was getting her off as her walls started to squeezing him, attempting to keep him in place.

“So. Fucking. Tight like this…” he strained out in pleasure. She was so wet and hot, and with her legs squished together her walls felt so pillowy and mushy around his cock. He swore he was losing brain cells from how incredible she felt around him. Harry was fighting every instinct in his body that was screaming for him to just pound into her mercilessly. But that very self-control was getting him off. God, he’d missed having her like this…he missed her body. He knew that she missed this too. Especially as she begged for him to go just a bit harder and when he obliged she moaned loudly and he smiled.

“Yes H, just like that…just like that, baby.” She mewled.

“Oh, I’m so fucking close. Please baby. Please come for me.” He panted.

Y/N was so close to coming undone. Her body was teetering over the edge, her toes curling as she clung to that sharp strike of pleasure she’d get every time Harry’s cock collided into her spot.

“Fuck…fuck, honey.” He rushed out and started grinding into her and that’s when she lost it.

Her vision was growing blurry and her jaw was falling slack as her orgasm hit. Y/N tossed her head back against his shoulder as a wave of ecstasy just washed over her. She saw white and her ears started ringing and her legs trembling in response. Her breathing was caught as her orgasm coursed through her like fire in her veins. She pulled the vibrator away as it was starting to be too much, but it didn’t do much since Harry was now about to come.

Harry stilled deep inside of her and she could feel the intense twitches of his cock inside of her as heavy spurts of his sperm shot out of him, filling her up. She let out a scream of pleasure that she hadn’t heard before as just feeling that inside of her made her come again, a g-spot orgasm…it had her already frazzled mind fracturing. Harry started thrusting erratically as he filled her up, milking out every drop he could inside of her. His praises and curses were spurring her on further and how she wished that she could’ve watched his face as his brain melted with that orgasm. She could feel him leaking out of her with each thrust now, wetting her thighs and surely making a mess of the bed beneath them until he slowly came to a halt.

“Had so much for me, didn’t you?” She whispered breathlessly and he nodded, swallowing thickly as he caught his breath.

“If you weren’t already pregnant with my baby, you sure would be now.” He panted as he held her close and then kissed the back of her neck. “I love you. I love you. I love you. So much.” He hummed before kissing down her shoulder. His hand found hers and intertwined their fingers.

“I love you too, baby.” She smiled happily, “Thank you so much for all of the effort you put into this. I needed it.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Course. Anything for my girl.”

***********

The last week had been hard. Y/N swore she’d been going into labor a couple times only for her to make it through the days without anything more happening. She was physically exhausted and mentally drained, she just needed to get their baby out of her body as soon as possible. She was starting to get contractions, little ones, that really had no effect on her yet but then on the 14th, the mucus plug started to fall out. She did freak out when she first found traces of it in her underwear and after extensive googling she realized what it was and started to mentally prepare for the baby coming soon. And then on the 16th it’d been nearly the entire day of small contractions. But they weren’t necessarily getting any worse, they were bothersome, but not advancing or coming at a faster pace, but regardless she was vigilant and Harry was obsessively timing them. But when nightfall came and they remained consistent to how they had been they decided to just go to sleep.

Y/N woke up a bit after midnight because she was having this dream where she was giving birth. And as she started to wake up she felt a growing pain and then lots of pressure in her pelvis. She was passing it off as the baby moving or maybe her contractions were getting stronger. But then her eyes opened wide when she suddenly felt her pants growing warm as she soaked them through and the bed beneath her as well. She was wide awake now upon realizing that her water had just broken.

“Shit….” She grumbled as she threw the covers off and tried to hoist herself up but was struggling. “Harry.” She said, reaching for him and patting at his arm.

“Hmmm?” He grumbled tiredly.

“You need to help me up, my water broke!” She said to him and he just grumbled.

“That’s ok. You’re ok.” He mumbled groggily and then she chuckled and reached to her bedside table to turn on her lamp.

“Baby, please wake up. It’s almost time. Our son is coming soon!” She said with more volume and that seemed to get his attention as he sat up in a panic. “Hey, hey, relax.” She said as he looked discombobulated as can be.

“You said the baby is coming. Or was it a dream?” He asked looking completely out of sorts. Hair wild and eyes heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, he’s coming. My water broke just now.” She informed and his eyes widened as he looked down at her lap.

“Oh my god. Oh my god…OK.” He said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and got out of bed. “D’you wanna head straight there or have a quick shower so you’re nice and refreshed, or what do you want to do?” He asked her in slight panic.

“This is the first big one, I don’t think we can even be admitted yet. Let’s just have a shower and get ready to go for when they come quicker.” She suggested and he nodded.

“Yeah, OK.” Harry nodded.

“Knew I should’ve done it before bed.” She mumbled and he smiled as he hurried over to her side to help her out of bed. He was moving fast and she grabbed his hands while he reached for her body to help her and he looked to her with confusion.“Come here.” She giggled and he knelt before her and she grabbed his face gently.

“What is it?” He insisted with worry and she sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing, I just need you to please calm down or I’ll start to freak out with you.” She said and he chuckled.

“I don’t…think I can. I mean…a baby, our baby is ready t-to be born…” he chuckled nervously. “Like…he’s coming out of you!” He said with wild eyes, “I mean…oh my god, I thought about the cervix thing again…” he shook his head and she groaned.

“Don’t think about that!” She laugh nervously.

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled and she sighed as she shook her head in disapproval, before cracking a smile at him.

“I love you, but please just…I’m scared enough as it is and I’m trying my best to just think positive. Let’s just have a nice and relaxing shower, you’re gonna have to help me shave though, for visibility purposes.” She said and he nodded.

“Right, a clearer view is probably best for them, right?”

“I’d imagine so.” She giggled.

“I just want him to be here already.” He said earnestly and she smiled.

“Me too.” She hummed and then leaned forward to kiss his lips quickly. “I can do this.”

“You can.” He reassured and then she took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I love you.”

“I love you. Let’s do it.” She said decidedly.

With that they hurried into the shower. She’d be in hospital for a day or so and he knew how relaxing showers were for her, so he was extra considerate of her routine. He wanted to skip some of her steps, but for her sake he stuck to them. Shaving her proved to be quite challenging, but they were laughing about it, reminiscing about that time he decided to lick at her sugar scrub only to learn it was in fact soap. And the shower was certainly helping her release all of the scary and anxious thoughts. He’d been doing perineal massages on her for the last month because she was so afraid to tear, so he did a bit of that as he helped clean her up a bit, even if it was just to reassure her.

“Just wait here, let me get your robe.” Harry said hurrying out of the shower. He was just about to help her step out when she suddenly squeezed his hands hard, her nails dug into his wrist making him wince until he glanced up at her and saw her face twisted in pain. So he sucked it up, waited for the contraction to pass.

“Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to hurt you.” She whispered lowly, brows still pinched and eyes squeezed shut as she calmed.

“S’alright. Is it bad?”

“I can manage, it was just sharper than I anticipated.” She said and he nodded.

“C’mon, lets get you dried.” He said.

Once he had helped her get dried up he helped her get moisturized while she got her skincare on. Then he helped her get into the clothes they had left out already and started helping her pack up her final things to take to the hospital. Y/N was lightly primping herself umm she knew she didn’t need to do it, but she was treating this like any other day. She was sticking to her routine to stay calm. Meanwhile, Harry was getting everything into the car, they had agreed not to call and wake Anne and Julie yet since her contractions were still about 20 minutes apart, so they still had some time to go.

“OK, everything’s in the car.” Harry said as he came back into the bathroom to clean himself up a bit as well.

“Perfect, thank you baby.” She hummed. He nodded and then reached into the drawer with his razor. “Don’t shave.” She said and he glanced up at her.

“What if it’s scratchy on the baby’s face?” He asked and she pouted a bit.

“But you look so hot like this.” She whined quietly and he chuckled and turned and grabbed her face and kissed her deeply before rubbing his nose against hers.

“Guess I’ll just have to be extra cautious with the baby.” He said and she smiled in satisfaction.

“Do you think we should try getting a bit more sleep?” She asked.

“What if you don’t wake up in time?”

“I don’t see how that would be possible.” She smiled.

“Right… alright, let me change the sheets.” He said and she nodded and went to grab clean ones while he stripped the bed. Once he had stripped them she went to put them in the washer as he redressed the bed. And then they were laying down again, Y/N on her side as Harry rubbed her back gently.

It was nearing 5am now and Y/N kept waking up with each contraction that came, now they were less than 10 minutes apart from what she was noticing. So once again, she woke Harry and now they were on their way to the hospital. They checked in with ease and when they checked her out she was 5 centimeters dilated. She was breathing through the pain like she’d been told, but this was on another level. She kept squeezing Harry’s hand hard, they were waiting for them to come give her the epidural. She just needed the quiet and he was so respectful of it. Anne, Hillary, and Julie showed up a bit after 6am, but were not allowed in yet since they were still waiting for the epidural to kick in and when it finally did and the pain had subsided enough Harry just encouraged Y/N to get a bit more sleep while he went out and shared her progress with their family.

Harry came back in after about half an hour to find Y/N fast asleep and he kissed her forehead lightly before taking a seat beside her and sighing contently. He felt overwhelmed with hope, happiness, excitement, nerves…this was huge. Harry felt so lucky to have found her. And more lucky that she had not given up on him and melted away his cold exterior with her empathy and kindness. He felt lucky that she had fallen in love with him and chosen to share a life with him. And now here they were, waiting for her to give him the perfect gift. A lovely little boy that would complete their little family. He glanced up when a nurse came in quietly.

“Hi, just going to check on her progress.” She said quietly. Harry nodded and squeezed Y/N’s hand a bit and she stirred awake.

“Baby, the nurse needs to check on you.” He said softly and she nodded groggily and just bent her legs up to give the woman space to see how she was doing. It was closing in 7:30am now and the nurse smiled as she reared back.

“You’re moving along quite well, quite quickly he’s an eager one. You’re at 6 centimeters.” She said with a smile.

“Oh good.” She hummed.

“Not too much pain?”

“No, this is good.” She assured the woman.

“Excellent. It tends to speed up from here, you’re getting close.” She said with a smile.

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled.

“You’re very calm, this is good energy you two are maintaining. Keep it up.” She encouraged them and with that she headed off.

“Hear that, my love?” He asked her sweetly before pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. “Almost.” Harry hummed and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.” She assured him, her expression falling a bit and he looked at her a bit skeptically.

“What’s the matter? Are you in more pain than you’re letting on?” He asked her.

“I mean there’s pain but it’s very tolerable. This epidural thing is where it’s at.” She giggled and he chuckled a bit.

“I’m glad it’s working.” He said with relief. He knew this was probably the hardest thing a person ever had to do and he was more than glad that so far the experience was going well for her. As much as he wanted to meet and hold his baby boy, he wanted for her to have the best and smoothest delivery possible.

“Are you gonna look?” She questioned with a knowing smirk.

“I don’t know yet.” He confessed with a smile and she giggled.

“As long as you don’t pass out on me.” She warned and he sniggered.

“I’ll try my best not to.” He assured her. “You’re so calm. It’s making me feel bad for being so anxious.” He explained.

“Don’t feel bad. You’re not showing it. I think if I were feeling more pain I would definitely be more anxious. But also, if I freak out I’m just gonna have a harder time doing this and it’s gonna take me longer and I just want to meet him so bad!” She confessed, “I don’t want to take longer than necessary to finally get to hold our baby.” She said and he hummed.

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” He hummed as he tucked her hair behind her ear tenderly, “I love you so much, baby. More than I ever thought I could. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I promise that I will try my best for you and for Charlie, always.” He said with conviction and she smiled.

“I know you will, H. You already do.” She hummed as she grabbed his hand and kissed it and he smiled down at her.

Y/N wished she could have Julie, Anne, and Hillary in there with her as well. She was only allowed to have her partner in the delivery room. She also felt an underlying sadness because anyone would want their family’s support in this moment.

“H?”

“Yes, my love?” He asked her softly.

“What do you think he’ll look like? And be like?” She asked and he started to tell her how he envisioned their little boy. It was keeping her calm and giving her so much to look forward to and to push away the slight disappointment she was feeling. Their hushed conversation was so wholesome and well, his voice always helped soothe her, but especially now.

“Baby, I don’t want to mess anything up, but something’s off.” he said and she sighed.

“I was just…thinking of my family. It’s fine, but you know, just…sucks.” She said quietly.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, “Maybe they’ll come around when they see the baby.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, maybe. My mom does love babies.” She said with a smile.

“Fuck, I can’t wait.” He said with a broad smile and she reached for his face and kissed his lips quickly. “Wanna try and rest a bit more?”

“No, I’m alright.” She said, “Maybe we can FaceTime the ladies now. Just have a nice chat with them.”

“Yeah. Let me get my phone.” He said before going over to the go bag with their things. They talked to Julie, Anne, and Hillary for quite a while. They were sweet and encouraging, wishing her the very best. Then they made a call to Alyssa and Gemma. Gemma had given her some tips. Reminding her to listen to her body through this entire process. During the conversation with Gemma, Y/N’s contractions started to get far worse towards the end, leaving her wincing and inhaling sharply.

“Best to get the nurse now, H.” Gemma said and he nodded.

“Love you, babe. You’ll be amazing, alright!” Gemma said to Y/N who nodded and then they hung up.

She was beginning to feel a bit more nervous, scared, excited, happy… there were so many emotions! But she wanted to be as calm as possible for this. She was doing a lot of meditating; when the emotions would get too big she would close her eyes, acknowledge them, take a few deep breaths and let them go, like she learned in yoga class.

“Can you bring me some more ice while you grab the nurse??”

“Yeah, of course.” He said and hurried out.

Y/N was so proud of Harry, he was doing a remarkable job of regulating himself to ensure that he continued perpetuating the vibe that she wanted to have in the delivery room. He was such a respectful and supportive partner. She really couldn’t have asked for anyone better than him to be beside her for this. Sure, she was doing the heavy lifting, but his support was an essential part of this delivery. They were a team and relied on each other to succeed. Now more than ever.

Harry returned with the nurse and her ice chips and when she checked she was bordering on 8 centimeters. This was excellent news. The nurse informed her that she would start prepping everything and that in about 20-30 minutes she would be good to start pushing. After a few minutes they started setting everything up and Y/N was starting to get nervous, so Harry was quick to grab her earphones and put on the playlist of her happy music. Encouraging her to close her eyes and just sing along quietly as he combed his fingers through her hair, handing her the cup of ice chips when she’d ask for some as the staff did their thing. And this is how they killed some time as they waited for the time to come.

They were currently singing along to “American Girl” quietly while she was free of contractions, she had about one song in between her contractions now, so things were moving along quickly. She was in the middle of crushing through some ice chips when her head fell back as she winced. She writhed around a bit as the pain peaked. She started to feel so much pressure between her legs it was unreal.

“Baby. Baby breathe.” He coached her and she tried to exhale smoothly, but it was coming out shakily.

“Oh my god…” she hissed with a scowl on her face when the worst of it passed. “I-it feels different than before. I think this is happening right now.” She whimpered, “Ow! Fuck!” She whined as her eyes started to fill with tears and he immediately reached for the call button on the bed.

“I’ve called the nurse, OK?” He assured she nodded. Moments later the nurse hurried into the room.

“Is everything alright?” She asked them.

“I feel a lot of pressure and I just…feel like I want to push.” She explained before wincing again.

“Alright, let’s check you out.” She said and then took another peek before sticking her gloved hand in between her legs to feel for any changes and her eyes widened. “He’s an eager little guy! I think you’re just about ready, love. I’ll go get the doctor.” She assured with a smile as she removed the gloves and rushed out of the room.

“You hear her, he’s coming.” Harry said to her with excitement and she nodded with a smile despite the pain she felt.

Moments later another contraction hit and she squeezed her legs together to fight the urge to push. She rolled her lips together and vocalized the pain through the harsh contraction. She moaned in pain and reached for his hand. Harry grabbed it immediately and let her squeeze as she exhaled shakily. Yes, it hurt how hard she was squeezing, he had no idea she even had that much strength in her! But this was as much as he could do for her right now so he would say nothing and take it, just as she was taking this feat on right now.

“You’re so fucking strong.” He said to her with a smile and she giggled despite the pain.

“I assume I’d have to be for this.” She said softly and he nodded and kissed her forehead with a smile. Just then the doctor came in with a few other nurses.

“Y/N, hi! I hear you’re ready to have this baby.” The doctor smiled at her.

“Yes. Beyond ready.” She let out a strained chuckle that the doctor reciprocated as she got geared up. One one of the nurses started to put a little monitor on her to gauge the contractions.

“Good. I think this will be a fast one.” She smiled at her. “Dad, are you planning on skin to skin with the baby?” She asked and Harry nodded right away. “Perfect, we’ll just clean him up and let him stick around with you for a bit.” The doctor said to them and they nodded. Harry then turned to her and grabbed Y/N’s hand, he was nearly trembling with excitement. His wide smile caused her to smile back despite the contraction that assailed her just then.

“We’re gonna meet him so soon!” He said as his eyes started to tear up and she nodded. She was already getting all misty-eyed as well just from all of the emotions. They were setting her up to get ready to push. Harry leaned down a bit and kissed her lips once more a few times, “You’re going to be amazing, yeah? So fucking amazing.” He whispered against her lips, “I love you the most.”

“I love you.” She hummed, “And remember what we talked about before.” She said and he shook his head.

“Yeah, but everything’s going to be great. OK? You’ve been in good spirits this whole time, been so calm, doing your breathing and mediations. You’ve got this.” He assured her and she nodded.

“I do. I’ve got this.” She repeated.

“Alright lovely, ready when you are.” The doctor said as she perched herself at the end of the bed, down between Y/N’s legs. Y/N nodded as one of the other nurses came to her other side and gave her a reassuring smile. “When you feel the pressure and the contraction bear your hips down and push, OK? Hold it as much as you can.” The doctor instructed and Y/N nodded. Her forehead beading with sweat as it suddenly started to feel a lot warmer than before. She glanced to Harry who just smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright, get ready, Y/N.” The nurse beside her said and she just took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

“Here it is and push!” The doctor instructed and she put her entire strength into it. Clutching tight to the linens with one hand and the other in Harry’s, “Excellent job. Just hold it a bit more and good.” She said and she relaxed as the contraction passed and she caught her breath. She had about a minute break before she was instructed to push again and this happened a few more times. For the most part she was quiet, her screaming was all internal and she was taking in all of Harry’s affirmations as well, letting his words settle in and encourage her to keep going.

“Alright, great job. Give it one more go…” the doctor encouraged her. With this one she couldn’t help but groan in pain as the pressure just increased even further. It definitely was painful, more than anything she’d ever felt, but she could mentally cope with it, “Okay lovely, his head is down in the canal. You’ll be crowning soon, just take your time with this bit, OK?” She said and Y/N nodded as her tears started to stream down her face.

Harry was squeezing her hand just as hard as she started to push again. He was in awe of her determination. Of how calm she was, of how gorgeous she was and how strong she was. He bit his lip nervously as she groaned once again, pushing hard to help their baby descend.

“Alright, that’s good, Y/N. Relax a bit for me, OK?” The doctor said and she nodded and just tossed her head back on the bed as she panted a few times and Harry kissed her sweaty forehead and she smiled at him with tired eyes. It had been a long process to get her to this point. “Ready to push?”

“Not yet.” She said softly.

“Alright, just let it pass, let your body do its thing.” The nurse at her side said and she nodded.

“Can I sit up a bit more? I need a bit more leverage.” She said and she nodded and adjusted the top half of the bed to get it into a position that made her feel more comfortable.

“Better?”

“Yes. Much better.” She said with a gentle smile.

“OK, here comes another.” The doctor spoke up again and she bore her hips down, getting ready for further instructions, “Alright, lets focus on getting his head through with these next couple contractions alright?”

“OK.” She sighed.

“Here we go…a nice long push.” And she did as she was told, “Oh, very good, Y/N! He’s right there.” The doctor said, “And rest.” She exhaled shakily. The pressure was increasing even more and she was most scared of this part, but the position change had definitely helped her feel more in control of her pushing. “Alright, here comes another. Use the contraction, Y/N. Lean into it.” The doctor coached and again she grunted as she gave yet another push. The nurses were praising her as she gave it her all.

“Good girl, he’s just about to come out. His head is right there.” The nurse said with a smile.

“Really?” She sniffled and the nurse nodded.

“Yes. Do you want to feel?”

“Can I?” She asked and the nurse nodded and she felt the doctor guide her hand and she gasped as she felt the little bulge of his head at her opening. “Oh my god…” she suddenly started crying, she was so happy. It was a joy she had never felt before. It was emanating from her.

“You’re so close, darling.” The other nurse assured her and she nodded and pulled her hand away.

“Here, clean your hand on this towel.” The nurse beside her spoke softly and she did so.

“Is there blood?” Harry asked her softly and Y/N nodded at him.

“Do you want to see?” The doctor asked Harry.

“Yes, but no. If there’s blood I will faint.” He explained through a nervous chuckle and they all laughed along with him for a bit before they instructed her to push again.

She could feel as the baby was almost pushing itself down into her canal with her next pushes and the stretch of it slightly stung despite the epidural, but she could do it. She could brave this.

“His head will be out with this next one, alright?”

“Already?!” Harry asked excitedly. He just wanted to hold his son.

“Yeah, he’s ready to meet you two.” The doctor smiled, “He’s a tiny, little fellow.” She said to Y/N, “So one big push and the rest is the easy part, alright?”

“Ok.” She exhaled shakily as the pain started to increase as the pressure of the baby’s head at her entrance started to increase with the oncoming contraction. “OK…OK…I can do it.” She whispered to herself.

“You can. You are doing it, my love.” Harry hummed from beside her, “Gonna get to hold him soon, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled.

“A big push!” The doctor coached, “Perfect. Push!”

“Push, baby! Push.” Harry said softly and excitedly. “You’re doing it!” He chuckled as his own tears slid down his cheeks.

Y/N strained through gritted teeth as she gave it her all. The nurse at her side helped pull her leg back a bit for more leverage and the sharp pain followed by the release of pressure and the delighted smile on the doctor’s face told her she had done it. At this point her tears started to fall freely, she was just so relieved and tired and excited and over this and eager to see their baby. Her heart was thumping loudly.

“There’s his head! Good job!” The doctor informed happily and Y/N just sighed in relief.

“Alright, she’s turning him now…Oh, he’s a cute one.” The nurse beside her said with a smile, “Push when you feel the need to, we have to get his shoulders through.” She informed and Y/N nodded. She winced and gasped in pain through the next few.

“Fuck…fuck!” She mewled as they tried to fit the rest of him through.

“S’alright lovely, just keep pushing. He’s nearly out.”

“I can’t anymore.” She whined quietly as she felt like she had nothing left to give.

“You can, baby. You can, you’re right there.” Harry encouraged, “You’re so strong, my love. Done so well. You’ve got it. Just a few more pushes, for me.” He encouraged her softly. “Let’s meet our baby, angel.” He said through his tearful smile and she nodded.

“One more time, Y/N!” The doctor encouraged happily, “You’re doing great!…Excellent!” She smiled, “And last one…” Y/N strained, giving it all her might until finally she heard their son’s cry and after that she tuned everything else out. She suddenly felt overheated and lightheaded and so fucking weak as they pulled the rest of his little body from her.

Harry started sobbing the moment he saw them bring him up and then hurry to clean him. He turned to Y/N to see her head just thrown back as she caught her breath and he kissed all over her face, over and over. He was speaking to her but she wasn’t responding, she was just mentally clearing her head from this feat she’d just managed to get through. He was thanking her and telling her how perfect he was and how she’d done so well and how much he loved her as he struggled to catch his breath. He felt his heart explode as the nurse turned to him with Charlie in her hands and she asked him to help her with Y/N’s gown.

She glanced down to see Harry pulling down her nightgown and then seconds later Charlie was being handed over to her, the nurse wearing a bright smile as she got to hold her baby for the first time. She just let out a laugh of joy and hugged him carefully to her chest. He was a tiny little guy. She pressed him against her nipple and she glanced up at Harry with wide eyes at how he just latched on without hesitation. It was amazing that he just knew what to do.

“Fuck.” Harry sniffled as he looked down with so much pride pumping through his veins. Seeing Y/N with Charlie, that was his entire world just there. He was gentle as he reached out and and touched his little fingers. “He’s perfect.” He chuckled through his tears, “So small. He’s cute.” He mused as he just watched him feeding eagerly.

“Right. So happy he doesn’t look too much like an alien.” She whispered and he chuckled and nodded in agreement.

“Like 20% alien.” He said and she giggled and nodded in agreement before looking down at him.

“Hi Charlie, I’m your mom.” She hummed as she let her fingers gently trace along his profile. “Love you so much. You’re so perfect.” She whispered with pride.

“When he’s done nursing you can take him. Here’s a chair.” The nurse said and he nodded before turning his attention back to Y/N and Charlie.

“You’re an easy one.” The doctor said to Y/N and she glanced over to her, “Just push a little bit to get the placenta out.” She instructed, she didn’t even notice when it happened, but assumed it had when the doctor was gone from between her legs. They were in their own little world as they cleaned up the area and Y/N as well.

“Congratulations Mrs. and Mr. Styles.” The doctor said to them with a smile, “One of the nurses will be back a bit later to conduct some standard tests. Just to ensure the baby’s vitals are normal and then some quick reflect tests. Then we can worry about the paperwork for the birth certificate and to explain a bit of the process for your aftercare, alright?” She smiled and they both nodded.

“Thank you so much, doctor.” Harry said with a smile and she nodded before excusing herself. The nurses were around for a bit more before they assured her that they’d be back to check on them in a little while. They thanked them as well before focusing back on the baby. He was now just nuzzled into Y/N’s chest and he stretched just a bit which made them coo.

“Take a picture, yeah?” She asked and Harry was quick to grab his phone and snap a few pictures and a video as well.

“Look.” He hummed as he showed her, “You look perfect with him.” He whispered as he showed her the video and she smiled, “Can I send this one in the group chat?” He asked and she nodded.

“What were his weight and height? I missed it.” She said and he smiled.

“45.4 centimeters and 2.7 kilos.” He said softly.

“I don’t know what that means.” She giggled and he chuckled.

“Fucking metric system…hold on.” He said before converting it on his phone. “17 inches and just shy of 6 pounds.” He said and she nodded. He quickly sent off the video before setting his phone down on the bed and leaning back down to kiss her forehead. She turned and puckered her lips out and he smiled and kissed his lips.

“Thank you so much for reaming calm and for all of the lovely things you said to help me. Helped a lot.” She hummed and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Thank you for our baby! I mean look at him…God.” He hummed, completely awestruck.

“Want to hold him now?” Y/N asked Harry quietly. He was a bit hesitant, but nodded nonetheless. “Get you shirt off.” she said and he was quick to pull it off and he just set it down beside her.

He knew how to hold babies, but he still hesitated just a bit before taking him from her hands. He was so tiny and defenseless. He couldn’t help but suddenly recall everything that he’d been told by Chloe, how he didn’t deserve this, how he wasn’t cut out for this. But suddenly Charlie blinked his eyes open and just looked at him before letting out a tiny hiccup and Harry chuckled and grabbed him right away before pressing him to his chest and he sighed in relief as he felt his warm and soft skin against his chest. He couldn’t help but get all teary-eyed again as he wriggled a bit until Harry sat down in the chair they had given him. He rubbed over his back and patted it gently to help him burp out any air bubbles from his feeding. He was completely enamored to feel Charlie’s little puffs of air against his chest. They were so subtle, but he held perfectly still to ensure that he could feel them.

“Baby.” He heard Y/N and he glanced up at her with a smile and it widened when he saw her taking a photo or a video of him. “He’s falling asleep again. You’re a natural.” She smiled.

“Think so?” He whispered as he tried to glance down at Charlie and she nodded.

“Yeah.” She hummed, smiling at him with pride. “Gonna send this one in the chat as well.” She said and he nodded excitedly.

She was smiling so wide as Harry spoke to Charlie quietly. Telling him how he would love him and protect him and support him for his whole life. Telling him how happy he was to have him in his arms. She could see his apprehension melt away second by second as their baby got comfortable over his chest. He was going to be a phenomenal dad.

“Get some rest, baby.” Harry said to her.

“OK, but come here with him. We can share.” She said and he nodded.

Once Harry had enough space to sit with her, he settled in and she leaned her head on his shoulder as she watched Charlie breathing easily, just watching his little body rise and fall felt like the most perfect miracle. There were only good thoughts and excitement for what this new chapter of life would bring for them and their little family.

“Baby, how about we leave my tattoo as one angel and it’ll be Charlie? He’s our little angel, you know?” She whispered with a smile and he nodded.

“Yeah. I love that. Can maybe add some fillers with his birth flowers? What do you think of that?” He asked.

“Yeah, we can work on it together?”

“And you can give me a matching one?” He asked, “When you’re up for it, of course.”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” She whispered excitedly and he chuckled before leaning down and kissing her head and then Charlie’s very gently.

“Oh sweetheart, we’re gonna take such good care of you.” She hummed as she reached out to his little hand and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers.

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much. You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Thank you.” Harry said to her with a big smile and she kissed his bicep before leaning on him and exhaling tiredly.

They had no idea what else life would throw at them, but with so much love in their hearts, they felt more than ready to brace through life together. To do anything to look after their little family. Nothing else mattered anymore, nothing else even felt close to this. It was somehow possible to feel more than joy. More than love. It’s like a whole new part of their hearts had suddenly been unlocked. This was the best day of their lives.

“Welcome to the world, Charlie. You’re gonna love it.” Harry whispered happily.

... THE END ...

Found this today. Not sure if the tagged blog is the creator, but the account is linked in the image:)

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smilesstyless · 1 year

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She takes her top off. Harry shut his eyes as he sees she is wearing just a thin lace bra underneath her shirt. "You can’t tattoo me with closed eyes," she takes his wrists into her hands.

"Um- I could ask Wendy—"

"H, don’t I’m comfortable around you. I would say something, trust me," she smiles at the guy in the tattoo store. She sits down on the lounger. Harry places the tattoo right under her bra.

"We can still move it," she just shakes her head and that was Harry’s sign he could start. "If it hurts too much we can—"

"I can handle the pain," she closes her eyes to relax a bit. "How’s life going?" She ask him all of sudden.

"Good, I guess, i don’t know. Can we focus on you, how is your life going?"

"Exhausting, when I come here I can relax. Coming here is always been my favorite thing. Don’t get me started on dating. I can’t date anyone, I don’t get it. Sometimes I want your life."

"Take it, I always wanted to know how it is to be a rockstar,"

"You don’t, paps scare your dates off and then the pressure. Can we stop?"

"Of course," he mumbles. He wraps his arms around his long time friend y/n. He feels like she needs a hug.

#tattoo artist!harry #singer!reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry fanfic #fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fic #harry styles concept #harry styles writing #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles drabble

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cupid-styles · 5 months

Text

only angel (tattoo artist/plug harry)

in which harry owns a tattoo shop, sells weed on the side, and has a big crush on y/n, a shy virgin who's very much enamored by him.

here is part one of tattoo/plug harry!!! I hope you like it :) please lmk if you'd like more from them <3

word count: 10.2k (!!!!)

content warnings: y/n's parents being unkind people, comments and discussions about weight/disordered eating, fainting (caused by a piercing), smut! (y/n's first time being fingered, dirty talk, harry being a soft dom)

masterlist | talk to me

part two

. . .

Y/N doesn't know why she's here.

If the glares from the employees of the tattoo and piercing shop are anything to go off of, they don't know why she's here either. And it all makes this whole thing even more embarrassing.

In reality, she does have a reason to be here. Mai, one of the few friends she's made in her grad school program, asked if she would drive her down to The Village for a tattoo appointment she had.

Y/N's eyes nearly bulged out of her skull when she asked, especially when she pressed for more details about this tattoo she was getting (it was a strawberry just above her hip, which Y/N didn't quite understand considering she thought tattoos were supposed to be meaningful). But, ever the pushover, Mai ended up convincing her, going as far as getting her to come inside — the one boundary she had — and wait while she got it done.

(Thankfully, her parents had some benefit charity thing going on today, so they weren't concerned with Y/N's whereabouts or where she was taking the car they bought her on a Saturday afternoon.)

The shop, called St. Mark's Place Social Club (aptly named, she supposes, considering it's located on St. Mark's Place), is nice. Unlike what she imagined tattoo parlors would look like in her brain, the spot Mai chose to get tattooed at seems sanitary and actually quite trendy.

It's not wildly crowded with customers hustling and bustling around, but there's a few artists at work at their own small stations. The walls are painted a cozy forest green, all donning frames upon frames of, what Y/N assumes are, sheets of tattoo designs. The receptionist who checked Mai in even offered them some water, which Y/N thinks was very nice.

"Are you nervous at all?" Y/N asks quietly as they sit in the rattan chairs in the waiting area. Mai's filling out some questionnaire on an iPad, but she shakes her head at her question, crossing her legs.

"No, not really," she murmurs nonchalantly, "I have a few tattoos already and I've been here before. The artist that's doing it is really cool and he's so hot."

Y/N's mouth forms around an oh as Mai quickly taps her signature into the tablet. She stands from the rickety chair and walks back over to return it to the front, her heeled boots clacking against the wood floor as she does.

Y/N has her gaze set low in her lap, eyes passing over her fresh manicure (her mother has a standing weekly appointment for her). She doesn't even notice that someone's standing over her — more so, towering over her — until the figure clears his throat, her head snapping up to address them. Assuming she's done something wrong (what it is, she isn't sure), she goes to apologize immediately, but the long haired man in front of her cuts her off.

"You have an appointment?"

Instantly, she flounders. Her mouth drops open as she stumbles over an answer: "I— um, no, I'm not— no, no appointment."

"So you're a walk-in, then?"

"N-no," she shakes her head quickly, his all-black outfit forming a blur in front of her eyes, "No, I'm not getting a tattoo."

The man laughs. He actually laughs at her, and Y/N doesn't know whether she should be embarrassed or pleased that she's made this very attractive man smile.

"You're sitting in a tattoo shop. You know that, right?" the stranger crosses his heavily tattooed arms over his chest, and Y/N's eyes fly to the swirls of black ink covering his skin. They're everywhere; all different fonts and images and numbers and... she wonders if he even knows what they all mean or how many he has.

"Yes," she finally manages out, folding her hands neatly in her lap. It's the default body language she goes to when she's nervous — when she was a teenager, her parents paid for her to go to social etiquette classes, and the instructor told her that this was a good way to show that she was in control of her actions, even if underneath her pastel pink turtleneck, her chest was covered in hives. "No, I'm not getting a tattoo. I'm here with someone getting one."

Thankfully (though Y/N would've preferred it happening about two minutes earlier), Mai walks back over to them, a grin taking over her features when she spots the man talking to her.

"Harry!" she greets excitedly, and Y/N watches as his eyes flicker over to her, flashing a tight smile in her direction.

"Ah. This is who you're here with." he — Harry, apparently — says to Y/N. She doesn't know what she's supposed to say to that (if she's supposed to say anything), but any response is once again cut off. "Hey. You ready?"

She only now notices the gum wedged between his teeth, his jaw moving in a hypnotizing way. His tone appears to be far more clipped with Mai, but Y/N is fast to chalk it up to some fluke. Maybe the other employees mentioned something to Harry and they thought she was in the wrong place or something. That would make sense, she thinks.

"Yeah, all good. I'll see you in a bit, Y/N," Mai nods, swinging her bag over her shoulder, focusing her attention to Harry, "So listen, I'm going to a show in midtown tonight, I was thinking maybe after we finish up here we can—"

"Are you coming back with us?" Harry's eyes fall back onto Y/N, and it's only then that she realizes he's talking to her again.

"Uh... am I allowed to?"

He smirks. Y/N's chest feels like it may concave in simply from the sight.

"I own this place, so yeah, you're allowed to."

Mai's tapping her foot impatiently now, her hip popped out slightly with her arms crossed over her chest. "My appointment started a few minutes ago, Harry—"

"Okay," he says curtly, turning on his heel to face her, "Go in the back and get ready then. You know where my station is."

Both Mai's and Y/N's jaws drop at that, his snappy tone clearly not one to fight back on. Surprisingly, Mai does just that, turning around and walking back to where Harry has his things set up.

"You coming, then? Y/N, right?"

The teasing smirk is still painted over his features, as if he finds humor in outwardly rejecting Mai's advances. Y/N doesn't know why her heart beats a little bit faster at that, warmth spreading from her chest to the rest of her body as he continues gazing down at her.

"Y-yeah," she answers, grabbing her purse and standing up. "If it's not too big of a deal."

"Course not. C'mon, you can follow me."

. . .

Mai's tattoo comes out beautiful.

However, Y/N can hardly focus on the artistry and apparent talent because she's far too busy staring at Harry, who also looks beautiful while he works.

It's distracting, embarrassingly so, that she barely even registers when he's finished wrapping her new tattoo in some sort of clear wrap, sending her back up to pay. Quickly, Y/N scrambles to grab her things, realizing that she's once again left alone with Harry.

"What, running away so soon?" He asks as he cleans up his work station, spinning around to face her in his chair. He has that smirk on his face again — the one that simultaneously intimidates her and makes her entire body burst into flames — and anxiety begins to eat away at her, nervous of saying the wrong thing.

"I just— you're done. So I was gonna go."

"How do you know Mai?"

It bothers her somewhat that he ignores her, but being the subject of his intense glint, she shifts her stance from foot to foot, shrugging her shoulders.

"We're in the same grad program. We've had a few classes together." she answers obediently, clutching the strap of her purse closer to her shoulder.

"Mm," he hums, tossing some paper towels in the trash, "You sure you didn't want any tattoos today?"

Y/N's face erupts into a hot flush for the thousandth time today and she instantly begins to shake her head. "No. No, thank you, I mean. My parents would kill me."

"Your parents?" Harry asks, a slightly stupefied expression on his face. "You're in grad school. Surely you don't make decisions on your appearance based off of them."

He punctuates his sentence by giving her a once-over and she feels nervous under his gaze. She's never particularly felt good about her appearance. She's always just felt... neutral. She grew up with a mother who was constantly dieting, imparting weight loss tips on her every chance she got. When Y/N hit puberty, her father made comments about how grateful he was to finally see her drop the "baby weight". Even now, her mother critiqued her, making comments about how important it was to maintain a good figure; that she'd never find someone to spend her life with if she didn't take care of her looks.

So, all in all, it was safe to say that tattoos were extremely off the table for Y/N.

"It's complicated," she finally replies vaguely. She knows that most people in their mid-20s aren't as deep under the thumb of their parents as she is, but she wasn't lying when she said this — the circumstances weren't as black and white as she wished they were.

However, there was something she'd always been curious about, and she had seen the piercing rates out in the front of the shop.

"But, um— do you guys do piercings?" she follows up before Harry has a chance to question her parents any further.

"We do," he replies slowly, "Well, yeah, I do. Why, are you thinking about getting something pierced?"

She swears his eyes quickly glance to her chest, but just as quickly as she notices it, they're focused back on her face. She clears her throat, willing herself to have an ounce of self-confidence.

"I was wondering if I could get my ears pierced."

Harry quirks an eyebrow and stands from his chair. Her heart rate speeds up tenfold when he walks over to her, his hand reaching outward.

"May I?" he asks, pausing before he makes any movements. She nods, hoping he misses the way her throat bobs in nervousness. Gently, he pushes some of her hair behind her ear, taking a look at the lobe. He does it to the other one and she wonders if he can sense that she's holding her breath.

"Hm, you really don't have them pierced," he mumbles lowly, eyes flitting back to her face. "Yeah, we could do that if you'd like. You sure daddy won't get too pissed?"

He says it with a simper though she's not entirely sure why; she thinks if he understood the dynamic between her and her parents, he'd be more concerned than teasing. Nevertheless, she shakes her head.

"Like you said," she says softly, blinking as they stare back at one another, "I shouldn't make decisions on my appearance based on what they want."

His smirk breaks into a grin, and for the first time, Y/N feels like she's doing something right.

. . .

Y/N didn't think she would be this nervous to get her first piercing, but between the gorgeous man invading her space with a needle and the fact that Mai definitely won't want to be her friend anymore, she's feeling a little tense.

Before getting situated in the chair, Y/N said that she needed to tell Mai she'd be a bit longer, but Harry waved her off and told her he'd take care of it. Apparently, that just meant peeking his head out from his work station and yelling out to Mai that Y/N was busy and wouldn't be driving her home. (Y/N thinks she heard Mai practically stomp out of the shop.)

So now, she's spending her Saturday the last way she thought she would: With her eyes squeezed shot, anxiety making her heart thump far too fast in her chest, with a long-haired tattoo artist hunched over her body. He's so close that she can smell the woody fragrance of his cologne, and she has to resist breathing it in as she inhales deeply in an effort to calm her heart rate.

"Alright, you ready?" Harry asks lowly, his tone a groveled murmur that sends tingles down her spine. She nods, feeling particularly speechless from his closeness and her nerves. "'kay, I'm gonna count to three. Take a deep breath."

Y/N imagines he looks especially gorgeous right now, but she's too scared to open her eyes and see the needle he's about to puncture her skin with. Instead, she simply nods her head again, mentally preparing herself for the countdown.

"Breathe, dove," he says calmly. Her stomach jumps at the pet name but does as he says. "Good. Okay... 1, 2, 3."

She jumps from the bite of pain that stings her earlobe, instantly wedging her bottom lip between her teeth as he shushes her.

"It's alright, that was it," he murmurs, though she can still feel him at her side, carefully wiggling the earring into the newly formed hole. "Y/N? You okay?"

She blinks her teary eyes open and opens her mouth, willing her throat to push out a yes. Instead, Harry's face goes blurry as the images in front of her get hazy. In a panic, she tries to stand, the ringing in her ears sending loud alarms to her brain. She thinks she hears Harry tell her to sit down, his strong arms taking a hold of her own — but that's when everything goes dark.

. . .

Harry's known this girl for all of two hours, and he's never felt panic ravish his body the way it did when she passed out a few minutes ago.

Thankfully, she comes to less than two minutes later (he counted), but he remains by her side the entire time, gently stroking her hair back. As a professional tattoo artist and piercer, he's of course had people faint under the needle, but it's never happened from just a standard ear piercing.

He supposes he maybe should've prepared himself for this. The sweet girl who accompanied Mai didn't look like she belonged at St. Mark's Social Club, but the moment his eyes zeroed in on her, he felt pulled to her. From the pastel pink top that stretched over her chest to the white ribbon tied in her hair, she was the opposite of any girl he's ever been attracted to — and yet, all he wanted was to tuck her under his arm, pull her into his chest, and spend the rest of his life protecting her.

Harry tells himself he's being stupid; some lovesick nerd that just needs to get his cock touched, but as he watches her slowly nurse a cup of water, warmth returning to her complexion, every doubt is thrown out the window.

"I'm so sorry," Y/N pouts, lifting a hand to run through her hair, "I'm... I feel so stupid, I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks through furrowed brows. "It's not your fault. People pass out all the time here, you have nothing to be sorry about."

"Y-yeah, but this is annoying... you probably have another appointment coming up and—"

"I don't."

"Yeah, but—"

"Y/N?"

"What?"

"Stop it."

She huffs, but the apologies stop after that. With his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the wall, he watches to make sure she finishes her water. He can tell she's still feeling embarrassed and it bothers him that she thinks of herself as something to feel sorry about.

"Y'know, kinda looked like some kind of badass Sleeping Beauty while you were passed out," Harry says with a smirk, making her eyes widen, "Pretty cute, if you ask me."

Y/N's face warms and he chuckles, deciding that making this girl blush is his new favorite past time.

"You're being silly." she mumbles, finishing off the water with a final swig. He shakes his head and takes the empty cup from her hand, tossing it in the garbage can behind her.

"Would never lie to you, dove. We're going on what, three hours of knowing each other? I wouldn't even dream of it."

"Harry," she whines and it makes him immediately grin, especially as she pushes her bottom lip out in a slight pout, "Shush, stop it."

"Think I should just call you princess from now on, hm? Such a pretty face coming in here, think I got lucky having you pass out on me."

He laughs loudly when her lips part, her jaw slack from the compliment. She doesn't have a comeback for that one, but he assumed as much. He turns to face the cabinets behind him and grabs a paper towel and a pen, quickly scrawling out his number on it before handing it to her.

"This is my number. I'm not gonna do your second piercing today 'cos that sounds like a recipe for disaster, but I want you to text me when you wanna come in and get it done," he explains, "I only work here on the weekend, but I'll come by any day you're free, princess."

She shuffles her feet before nodding her head, stuffing the paper towel in her bag. "O-okay. That sounds good."

"Good," Harry breathes, reaching out to for her hand to help her up, "Do you need a ride home?"

"No!" her eyes dart away from his face, blinking quickly as she focuses on the dark green walls. "Um, no, thank you. You've done enough for me today. I appreciate it, Harry."

"Sure," he says slowly, narrowing his eyes at her, "Okay, well... get home safe for me, alright?"

"I will." she nods and punctuates her sentence with a harsh swallow. "Can I... is it okay if I text you when I get home?"

A gentle smile wiggles its way onto Harry's face, warmth filling his body once again.

"You took the words right out of my mouth, princess."

. . .

To: Harry (St. Mark's Social Club)

hi, im home!! im so sorry again for what happened but thank you sm for making sure i was okay. hope it wasn't too inconvenient!

Y/N's never texted a boy she has a crush on (well, except for Jason Saunders in the 8th grade, but her dad found out within the hour and made her delete his number as he watched). She thinks she must still be lightheaded from fainting because there's no way she can seriously have a crush on someone she barely knows, but nonetheless, she pushes herself to message him to at least thank him for everything he did for her.

She sighs as she throws her phone in her purse and climbs out of her Range Rover. Locking the doors, she crosses her fingers as she walks up the stairs and to the elevator of the luxury garage, pressing the penthouse button on the panel. She hopes her parents are still out — if they're home, she'll be on the receiving end of their badgering for the rest of the evening, and she still wants to work on a paper she has due later next week.

When the sleek elevator doors open, she's met with silence — the only telltale sign that she's alone, with the exception of her parents' private chef and maid. Relief floods her body as she steps out and into the apartment, toeing her shoes off in the entryway and taking quiet steps to her bedroom.

She's exhausted from the day, flopping down on her bed with a sigh. Mindlessly, she feels for her phone in her bag, pulling it out to scroll through Instagram before she commits to doing work for the rest of the night. Instead, she's met with not one, but two texts from Harry.

Remember what I said about apologizing, princess?

Glad you made it home safely. Don't forget to text me about your second piercing — just name the day and I'm there. xx

She wants to let out a squeal, even if there's a large part of her brain that's constantly reminding her to limit her excitement. He's probably just being polite, she says to herself.

Still, it doesn't stop her from replying a mere moment later, promising to restrain her apologies and message him when she's ready to get her other ear pierced.

. . .

"Where were you yesterday?"

Y/N blinks at her father as she sets down the spatula, shifting her attention from the buckwheat pancakes she's currently cooking.

"Studying on campus," she replies easily, even if she had to coach herself all night to lie. She's never one to fib, let alone to her parents — she's always felt some type of fear when it comes to her father, but she knows he never would have approved if she gave him some vague answer about taking a friend to an appointment.

He lets out a noncommittal humph. "You know there's no reason for you to be getting a masters degree when you'll just work at the company when you graduate."

Her stomach tightens. It's a frequent area of contention between she and her parents — their dream for her has always been to work at their jewelry company as soon as she graduated college, but she somehow managed to convince them to entertain her wish to go to graduate school for an English degree. They told her she could do it as long as she starts at their office as soon as graduation comes around.

She hasn't quite yet figured out how she's getting out of that one. If she even can.

"I know, father," Y/N forces out, redirecting her attention to flipping the pancakes on the pan. "It's just important that I get good grades."

"I can't imagine it's very difficult. You speak the language."

She bites her tongue. Her parents have never understood her love for books, always scolding her for having her head in the clouds from a young age. If she's being honest, books have served as a way for her to escape, always wishing she could be the girl getting whisked away by her romantic interest.

Things always worked out in her books. Potentially having a happy ending like the ones she reads about is the only thing that keeps her going sometimes.

Her mother, looking pristine as always even at 9 in the morning, enters the kitchen just as Y/N's sitting down to her eat. Turning stiffly, her eyes narrow at her daughter.

"Those better not be full fat, Y/N." she says, jabbing her pointer finger at her plate.

"They're not." Y/N says softly.

In response, she simply hums. "I don't understand why you don't just have Freya make you food. She's there for a reason."

Y/N quickly stuffs a bite of pancake into her mouth, shrugging her shoulders as she slowly chews. She's never felt comfortable requesting their chef make her anything to eat when she was perfectly capable of doing it herself.

"Don't shrug. It's not ladylike," she scolds, Y/N's posture immediately straightening, "We have a lunch meeting with the Franklin family today. If you're available, you should come. You need to start learning the business."

"I have to work on a paper," the lie rolls off her tongue, knowing full well that she nearly finished it last night, "Finals are coming up. School is getting very busy."

"You know, Y/N, you're lucky we grant you all this freedom." her mother spits, the high heels of her Louboutin shoes clacking against the marbled flooring. "One day, you're not going to have this much of a choice in how you spend your time."

Despite only eating half a pancake, Y/N no longer feels hungry. Instead, she just nods her head and rolls her lips into her mouth.

"You're right. Thank you for everything you do for me."

She clears her dishes and goes back to her bedroom before her parents have a chance to see the tears streaming down her cheeks.

. . .

Y/N spends the better part of Sunday crying in her bedroom.

She's so exhausted of this cycle. Her parents work so hard to tear her down all the time, never once taking into account what her dreams and aspirations are. She feels like she can't do anything right, as if nothing she'll do will ever please them.

In her fit of anger and sadness, she decides she needs to leave Harry behind. He's just a pipe dream, a tiny little sliver of what her life could be if she had less restrictive parents. That night, when she's laying awake in bed, she decides that in the morning, she'll take the fresh piercing out and throw the earring away, delete his number, apologize to Mai, and pretend like this weekend never even happened.

That is the plan, anyway.

Until she wakes up to her alarm at 8 am and she has an unopened text from him, and her heart beats in a way that she's never truly felt before. She doesn't think she's ever smiled this wide after just waking up, the mere appearance of his name on her screen sending waves of hope and happiness throughout her body.

From: Harry (St. Mark's Social Club)

How's the piercing holding up?

After getting home on Saturday, he texted her a series of care instructions for the piercing, instructing her to clean it twice a day, twist the earring, and let him know if anything felt off. She wasn't sure what it was, but she felt particularly giddy when he told her what to do.

To: Harry (St. Mark's Social Club)

good!! no pain or anything and ive been doing what you told me to :)

She has a class at 10 this morning and she knows she should follow her typical routine of a shower, breakfast, and getting ready, but instead, she just lays back in the fluffy tufts of her bedding, smiling to herself as she waits for Harry to text back. A minute or so later, her phone vibrates.

Good girl.

Think you'll come in for your second anytime soon?

Her stomach twists in a delicious way but she's not sure why. There's nothing inherently sexual about what he's messaged her, but it has her craving more, a steady heartbeat forming somewhere deep in her core.

Her eyes read over his question and she bites her lip. She knows that less than 10 hours ago, she was planning to forget Harry, but the feeling he gives her is addictive. She doesn't want to stay away — so she won't.

yeah, if you don't mind doing it :)) maybe today?

In reality, she doesn't want to go under the needle again so soon, but she's craving to see him. He did say he'd come in any day for her.

Harry: I'd love to. What time are you free?

Y/N: i have classes from 10 to 1 today.. would 1:30 work? i can come by on my way home from campus

Harry: How about I meet you at your last class and we walk to the shop together?

Y/N swears her heart is going to beat right out of her chest. Her parents have never allowed her to hang out with a guy outside of anyone they approved of — over the years, they've attempted setting her up with other men of their same financial and social stature, but Y/N was never interested. As a result, they all grew bored of her by the second date, and her parents would yell at her for not being appealing enough.

She doesn't know if Harry will be bothered by the same thing, but she wants — no, she needs — to find out.

Y/N: okay:)

Harry: Great. Can't wait to see you. x

. . .

Harry knows he's pushing it.

This girl may as well have wealthy virgin tattooed across her forehead, but he just can't get himself to stay away. It doesn't seem like she wants him to either, which just makes it harder. And as he's waiting for her outside of her lecture hall on a campus he's never even step foot on, he realizes that they're from very, very different universes.

That doesn't really bother him. He can see the obvious differences — he wears all black, has over 70 tattoos (most of which were impulsive or practice while he was apprenticing), and gives people tattoos and piercings for a living. Y/N is smart and soft; an English major in graduate school, lives with her parents, and drives a car that costs more than his yearly rent.

He's not blind. Although, if he was blind to pretty, innocent girls, he probably could stop walking around with a permanent boner from thinking about how gorgeous she'd look in his bed.

The only thing that can tear him from his thoughts is the sight of her. He watches as she walks through the doors of the building, a slight pep in her step when she notices him, waving her hand with a smile. He licks his lips absently, willing the arousal pooling deep in his stomach to go away.

"Hi," she greets as she approaches him, "How're you?"

"I'm good." he answers, trying his best not to let his eyes wander over her outfit, "How was class?"

"'s okay. Kind of boring. Almost fell asleep once or twice."

"Yeah?" Harry chuckles as they begin to walk towards the nearest campus exit. "Gotta stay awake in those smarty pants classes of yours, princess."

He already knows she's blushing before he turns his head to see the familiar flush flower over her skin. He points to the bag over her shoulder, pausing his steps. "Lemme carry that for you."

"Oh— no, you don't have to, I don't want to be annoying—"

"Why would that be annoying?" he asks with a quirked brow. She swallows, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable."

"N-no, it wouldn't," she shakes her head and he nods, keeping his arm stretched out. She pushes the strap down her shoulder and hands the bag to him. "Thank you. That's very kind of you, Harry."

"What d'you have in here, a ton of bricks?" he asks teasingly as he slips the pink tote over his own shoulder.

"No! I have to bring books to campus every day so we can discuss certain passages and stuff. I guess I've been doing it for so long I didn't notice how heavy it is."

"It's very heavy, Y/N," Harry says, stuffing his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, "No wonder you're falling asleep in class, you're basically doing an upper body workout on your way there."

"It's not that big a deal," she replies nonchalantly. "It's just— it's what my professors want, so."

He continues grumbling, annoyed that anyone would ask this girl to shuttle all this weight to campus every day.

"Can you start parking closer to your lecture halls, then? I don't wanna find out you dislocated your shoulder one day."

She shakes her head. "I don't drive to campus."

"Oh, is parking that bad?"

Y/N begins to fidget, wringing her hands out in front of her as they walk. Harry glances at her from his peripherals, soaking in the nervousness written all over her face.

"No... my parents don't let me drive to campus, that's all."

He hums, attempting to stay unbiased, even if everything he's learned about her so-called parents has only made anger rise in his chest.

"Do they have a lot of limits on things you can and can't do?"

"Kind of. I don't know."

"Is... is that something that bothers you?"

She worries her bottom lip between her teeth as they stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn. He shifts his body to face her.

"I've never really told anyone about how they are, but... well, they take care of me. They always have. They just have a very clear vision of what they want for me."

"Right," Harry nods, "Just because they care for you or pay for certain things doesn't mean they're good, though. I'm not saying they aren't— I just don't want you to confuse the two."

"I guess."

He decides to leave it at that, mainly because he can she's growing uncomfortable, but also because they're approaching the shop. He pushes the door open and holds it for Y/N, who sheepishly walks in, Harry close behind.

He doesn't acknowledge anyone as she follows him to his station, but she supposes it's not out of the ordinary for him to do these things since he's the owner. Once they're safely sheltered by the walls of his space, Y/N lets out a breath, sitting down in the chair she was in on Saturday.

After setting her bag down, he washes his hands at the sink. A long-haired guy pops his head in, grinning when he sees Y/N.

"Hey, H," he greets, "Didn't know you'd be here today."

Harry's tone is gruffer towards the man, even though he seems friendly. "Yeah. What's up?"

"I need a favor. I have an appointment that looks like it's gonna take a little longer than anticipated — last minute changes and all that to the design, but Jude is coming in to pickup at 2. You mind dealing with him?"

He glares at the man before assuming what Y/N is starting to call his signature pose — arms crossed over his broad chest, leaning back against some surface in his station (today, it's the tattoo bed).

"None of the other idiots can do it? Kinda busy."

"It's your off day, figured you could handle him," he shrugs, "Unless you'd like to introduce me—"

"Shut up." Harry replies, clenching his jaw. A spark zips up Y/N's body, though she's not sure why he seems to take offense to the man's words. "Yeah, I'll deal with it. What does he want?"

"Just some edibles and a few grams of bud. Nothing crazy."

Again, Y/N doesn't miss the way Harry shoots a glare at him, who simply raises his hands in mock defense. As if speaking through some sort of secret language, he backs out of the room, his Adidas sneakers sounding crisply against the wooden floors as he walks away.

"Sorry," Harry mumbles.

"Oh. It's okay."

He turns back around to look at Y/N, who somehow looks even smaller in the chair since they arrived.

"You have no idea what that was about, do you?"

She shrugs, though it's clear that Harry's right. She doesn't often like showcasing her naive nature, like it's some sort of party trick for people to laugh at. It makes her feel sad, a reminder of the "normal" years she could have had if not for her parents.

He sighs and lifts a hand to run through his messy hair. "A few of us sell weed on the side here. It's not really a big deal, but we just do it for some extra cash on the side. I would've rather told you on my own time, though."

Y/N's palms find her thighs, plucking at the hem of her skirt as she swallows, digesting the information. Weed? Her parents had always taught her that all drugs were bad. In their minds, weed was just as bad as heroin, but when Y/N read about states legalizing the former, she didn't quite understand how that made sense.

"I hope that doesn't make you think any differently of me," he continues. "I'm sorry."

She keeps her eyes set in her lap, "Is weed... bad?"

She's expecting him to laugh at her but instead, when she looks up, she's met with a small, adoring smile on his lips. His eyes twinkle just a bit as he shakes his head.

"No, it's not bad, dove. What do you know about it?"

"Nothing, really. I know it's legal in some places but my parents always told me to stay away from any drugs."

"I think a lot of parents do that," Harry replies with a nod, "But it can actually be really helpful for people. Mentally, physically. And others just like it, they enjoy the feeling of being high."

She swallows before biting her lip. "Do you... do you like it?"

"I do." he says. "Is that okay?"

She thinks he could tell her he's a serial killer and she would be okay with it.

"Yeah. 's okay."

His grin widens. "Alright. Lemme get you settled with this other piercing. I'll have to step out to sell to Jude at 2, but after that, do you wanna grab something to eat?"

She nods so fast she feels like a bobblehead. A chuckle — the warmest, most melodic thing Y/N thinks she's ever heard — sounds from his mouth.

"Just don't pass out again on me, Sleeping Beauty."

. . .

Y/N takes her second piercing much better than her first.

(And by that, she means she only teared up a little bit, and no fainting occurred.)

She's actually more nervous about the whole weed... thing. She feels torn. There's a half of her that feels intimidated by it; the part that still has a foot stuck in her parents' world, she supposes, where they taught her to never even look at people like Harry. The other half of her is intrigued to see what happens. Fascinated by him, maybe, and the way she feels when she's around him, and she doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not.

"Harry!"

Someone calls his name from the main room as he's cleaning up and he peeks his head out.

"Yeah?"

"Jude's here!"

He looks a lot less flighty about it than she assumes he would. Instead, he simply walks back into his station and unlocks a bottom cabinet to reveal a safe inside.

"Know you're watching, princess," he says, turning his head to flash a toothy smirk in her direction. She looks away, blinking nervously. "Don't reveal any of my grand weed secrets to anyone, hm?"

"I'm not," she huffs, making him chuckle, "I'm just... curious."

Harry hums, pulling contents out from the safe. When he's done, he doesn't even bother concealing any of the weed he's just taken out, instead just rising to his feet.

"I'll be right back. We can talk about the curiosity in a second."

Y/N's not snappy enough to come up with a response so she simply watches him walk away. She's only seen drug deals go down in movies and TV shows, where they're dramatic and part of the mob and guns are a necessity. She doesn't think this is one of those drug deals, but who is she to assume?

Surprisingly, Harry returns less than two minutes later with a small wad of cash in his hand. He pockets it, smiling at her when he sees she's still sitting there, the same perplexed look on her face.

"Steal any of my bud while I was gone?"

"Harry!"

He cackles and shakes his head. "Alright, dovie, c'mere."

Hesitantly, she stands, shuffling over to where Harry is back to kneeling on the floor. He looks up at her with an expectant expression, a wordless command to do the same. She does.

"Okay. You said you were curious?"

She nods.

"I've always found that the best solution to curiosity is knowledge. This doesn't mean you have to do anything, but it's good to know about things that may intimidate you," he explains. "So, weed can be found in a few different forms. I only sell flower, which are these little buds," he pulls out a container, showing her the small green nuggets. "And edibles, which is just candy or chocolate, stuff like that, with different levels of potency."

"Oh." Y/N furrows her eyebrows, a small wrinkle forming between them. "That's it?"

He chuckles, "Mhm. That's it."

"And what does it do?"

"Like how does it make me feel?"

She nods.

"It's different for everyone and strains — like, the types of weed — will affect people differently, too. For me, it just makes me a little more relaxed and giggly, more touchy and less in my head. It's nice."

"That does sound nice." she says softly. He hums as he pushes the container back into the safe, locking it back up in the cabinet. "Do you think I would like it?"

It's a question that kind of blurts out without thinking about it. When he turns to look at her, eyes serious and thoughtful, she feels small; the way everyone her age or older has always made her feel. She swallows harshly, immediately regretting it.

"I don't know the answer to that, but if you ever want to try, you can tell me. I'll make sure you have a safe experience."

It's not the answer she's expecting, but instead maybe the one that only exists in her wildest dreams. She looks down to hide her blush and he smiles to himself, ducking down to catch her eyes.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a blushy little thing."

Her jaw snaps closed, wiggling uncomfortably at his blatant call out. Her mother always told her that her emotions were easy to read — she said it made her weak, though.

"I like it," Harry quickly amends, throat bobbing, "I like it a lot."

She thinks she notices his eyes zip to her lips, but just as quickly as they dart down, they're back up to her eyes. She swallows when she realizes they've somehow gotten closer, the distance slowly closing between them in millimeters. She doesn't know who's moving in — if it's him or her or both — but suddenly, she's looking up and his face is hovering over hers, blinking in silent permission. When she doesn't grant it because she's too nervous to speak, his tongue peeks out, licking over his raspberry lips.

"Is this okay?" He asks, minty breath ghosting over her mouth. "Can I do this?"

She nods, because she thinks any noise that would come out of her mouth would be just that — a sad excuse of a squeal. Her heart is pulsing in her ears, her hands trembling over her thighs, and then it happens — he presses his lips to hers, so gently it's almost like they aren't even there. The last time Y/N kissed someone, it was in ninth grade in the locker room after school, and she doubts it even qualified as a real kiss. This is different, though. This is Harry.

He feels the nervousness radiating off of her so he breaks away, despite the already addictive taste of her mouth. He's gone too quickly and it makes Y/N's heart rate quicken even faster.

"Need you to relax, princess." He says with his forehead pressed against hers. "Just follow my lead, okay? Promise it's not hard."

Embarrassed, she nods again, willing him to close the gap for a second time. This time, his lips are quick to move against hers, and it initially takes her by surprise. But she does what he told her to, mimicking his movements in tentative paces. With each passing moment, he's kissing her more and more breathless, and she lifts a shaking hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It's a bold move for her and she swears she feels his signature smirk form into their kiss.

Time doesn't feel like it moves much when Y/N's mouth is on Harry's, but she knows it is because she needs a break to breathe. With panting lungs, she pulls away, watching as Harry's eyes flicker open. His lips are pinker somehow and swollen with spit. The image makes her core throb.

"Y'okay?" He asks. Y/N notices his pupils are darkened and he shifts from his seat on the floor, adjusting his lower half.

"Y-yeah," she nods, "Needed to, um, breathe."

He chuckles. "Yeah? Get a little dizzy there?"

"A little bit."

"Cute," he murmurs, lifting his thumb to swipe a bit of spit away from her bottom lip. Instinctively, her mouth opens, and she watches as his eyes flicker to hers. Through labored breath, he slowly moves his thumb along her plushy lip, resisting the urge to sink it inside. She's not sure why something as small as this is stirring her insides, but her eyes widen when he breaks away, pushing the finger into his own mouth.

"Oh." She breathes out.

"I don't wanna scare you," Harry whispers, "But I'm completely fucked when it comes to you, dove. If you don't want this... want me, I need you to go now."

She swallows. Slowly, she rises to her knees and inches towards him, closing the small gap that formed between their bodies. She's hesitant in her movements but pushes herself to straddle him, gently sinking her ass down into his lap. His eyes widen.

"I want this. I want you." She says.

"Good," Harry mumbles, brushing his lips against hers for the third time that afternoon, "Good."

. . .

Y/N thinks she could go pro at lying to her parents.

A month ago, she had to spend hours preparing the perfect fib, coaching herself on how to articulate it just casually enough so it didn't seem fabricated. These days, they come out like nothing.

I'll be home late, I have a group project to work on in the library.

I'm going to a tutoring session for one of my classes, I probably won't be home until dinnertime.

I'm spending some extra time on campus today so I can get a head start on a paper.

In all truthfulness, school couldn't be the furthest thing on her mind right now. Harry is.

Ever since that day they kissed at his shop, they haven't been able to spend more than a day apart. Mostly, they follow the same routine from that very afternoon, where he'll pick her up from her last class of the day and they'll walk back to St. Mark's together. Sometimes, Harry will have deals to do so they sit and talk in the downtime. Other days, he'll have actual work to tend to, accounting and whatever it is he does as a business owner, so she'll do some homework, enjoying the silent companionship. Y/N never stays too late into the evening, not wanting to push her luck with her parents, but Harry always sends her off with a kiss that leaves her breathless, making her promise to text him when she gets home.

And the kissing... yeah.

Y/N likes to think she's gotten better at it from all the practicing they've been doing. She still gets a bit flustered, but it's one of her favorite things to do with him. The second they shuffle into his station, Harry closes the door so they're finally in private, and it's like a switch is turned on. Within seconds, they're wrapped up in each others arms, mouths wet and hot against one another. She's discovered that her favorite place to be is seated in his lap while his tongue explores her mouth, breathy pants parting her lips. He loves to squeeze her ass over the pleats of her skirt, knowing that it riles her up in the smallest forms of contact — tiny rolls of her hips, nails being pressed into his skin, a slight pull of his hair.

She doesn't think things could get much better with Harry until today, during their typical makeout-and-grinding session, when he ducks beneath her jaw, pressing messy kisses to her soft skin. It's then that the words leave his lips.

"Can I feel you under here, dove?"

His hand is fisting the hem of her skirt and the low tone of his voice makes lightning zip through her body. She doesn't know how to reply — she wants to say yes, but her mouth is dry from immediate anxiety.

"N-no one's ever touched me there," she whispers, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Harry hums, unbothered, kissing her jaw once more before backing away slightly.

"Don't have to do if you don't want to. We can just keep doing what we've been doing if you'd prefer." he replies nonchalantly, his lips swollen. She swallows nervously, perturbed by his frank nature.

"I— I do want you to feel me," Y/N mumbles. It's not a lie — yes, she's a virgin who knows next to nothing about her body besides its reproductive process, but sometimes, when she goes home in the evening, she thinks about what it would like to keep going. She's seen movies and TV shows, but those have only made her even more curious. Sometimes the guy takes it slow and makes it romantic, other times it's painful and uncomfortable. She can only hope Harry would take care of her.

"Where, princess?"

Well, she can only hope that Harry would take care of her in his typical teasing ways.

Huffing, she shakes her head. "I can't say that, H."

"Can't touch you if I don't know where you want it," he murmurs, kissing her cheek lightly. "Wanna hear you say it. Ask me."

"Harry," she whines. "Please? You know... where."

"Here?" he asks, pressing his the warmth of his hand to her thigh. "This where you want me?"

"No."

"Hmm, how about here?" he moves his hand up just a bit further, inching underneath the fabric of her mini skirt to the crease of her thigh. Again, she shakes her head.

"Dunno where you want me then, dove. Thought you were my good girl."

"H-higher." she mumbles, attempting to push her body closer so he gets the hint.

"Higher?" he echoes with a smirk, "Here?"

This time, his fingertips have found the waistband of her panties. It immediately feels wrong, but not because of who's touching her, but rather the act of it. She takes a deep breath and tries to ignore the voice in her head. Slowly, in an act of false confidence, she bunches the fabric of her skirt up at her hips, watching as Harry's eyes widen. They instantly dart down to the small wet patch between her thighs and it makes him groan softly.

"Jesus," he mutters, forgetting about his little game. He gently thumbs at her clit through the material and she jumps. Using his other hand to squeeze her hip, he tries to keep her steady, mumbling out an apology. "Am I allowed to see this cute little pussy?"

She clenches at his question, surprising herself with how turned on she feels from just a few words.

"Yes," she nods, "Please."

"'Please'? Aren't you just the sweetest wet dream, hm?" Harry murmurs. He pushes the width of the fabric to the side, making Y/N shiver from the sudden exposure and being under his gaze. "Are you always this polite or is this just for me, princess?"

She licks over her lips when he parts her pussy with his ring and middle fingers. He hums, dipping a fingertip into her crease and lifting it to his mouth. He looks at her expectantly and she realizes she hasn't answered him yet.

"J-just for you."

"Pretty, swollen pussy just begging for attention. Do you always get this needy when we kiss?"

She nods, her eyelashes fluttering as he runs the tip of his pointer finger through her wetness.

A poor excuse for an answer sounds through her lips, the affirmative tone being the only thing that gives him an idea of what she said. He snickers boyishly, Y/N's jaw dropping when they both feel her pussy pulsate.

"I think my girl is a bit naughtier than I thought," he breathes, moving his finger back up to her clit to form slow, small circles. She gasps from the intensity, a new sensation of overwhelming pleasure that she's never received before. "Is that the truth, dovie? Do you wanna be my naughty girl instead of my polite one? Tell me."

"Harry," she mewls, arching her back to press deeper into his touch, "P-please— feels really good."

"Yeah?" he smirks, a mocking tone to his voice that makes Y/N squeeze her eyes shut. "Yeah, does it feel really good?"

"You're— you're being mean—"

"Oh, I don't think so, dove. I think I'm letting you use my fingers to get off, petting this pretty little clit until you cum all over my hand. I don't think that's mean, do you?"

He stops stroking at her and her eyes snap open. She can feel how warm her face has gotten under his touch, quiet puffs of breath ghosting over his lips as his eyes twinkle, knowing what he's done.

"Why'd you stop?" she asks in a small voice.

"You said I was being mean," Harry replies with a shrug, "If I were really mean, I'd leave you here high and dry. Do you want to learn about edging today, Y/N?"

She shakes her head, her bottom lip pushed out in a pout. He hums and lifts his hand to his mouth, his pink tongue darting out to swirl around the fingers that were just caressing her. She watches him with wide eyes. She doesn't think she's ever been this turned on in her life.

"Do you like when I tease you?" he asks lowly. They both know the answer — her body couldn't lie even if she wanted to, and Harry noticed it the second he felt her pussy clench against nothing at his mocking tone.

"Y-yes." she whispers.

"Dirty girl," he murmurs, moving both his hands down to her hips to give them a squeeze. He tightens his hold on her and gently moves her up to the tattoo bed, helping her lay down. "We have all the time in the world to learn about what makes your pussy wet, but right now, I wanna make her cum. Can I do that, dovie?"

Y/N nods, allowing him to adjust her body however he wants. He smiles at how pliant she is for him, sticking to her good girl demeanor.

"Need you to tell me if I go too far or if something doesn't feel right, okay?" he reminds her as he fits himself between her thighs, "At any point, you say stop and we do, no questions asked."

"Yeah. Okay."

It's apparent to her that Harry is experienced, because it takes no time for him to wiggle his fingers back to their initial position. His thumb is applying the smallest bit of pressure to her clit, still sensitive from when he was playing with it before, but now he's circling over her hole with one of his larger fingers. She gasps at the slight intrusion.

"Have you ever put your finger in here, princess?"

She shakes her head. "N-no."

"Do you want me to?" he asks, though he can already feel the way her hole is all but sucking him in, "It won't hurt. Promise."

She trusts him — maybe foolishly, because she knows her parents would disown her if they knew the position she was in right now — but she pushes the thought to the back of her head, instead simply answering his question with a nod. He keeps his eyes on hers as he slowly pushes in, a gasp instantly falling from her plushy lips. Her immediate reaction is discomfort, but as he starts to stroke at something towards the back of her walls, it feels... good. Overwhelmingly good. So good that a loud moan frees itself from deep in her chest and he jumps up, gently pressing his other hand over her mouth. He ducks down and presses a kiss to the shell of her ear.

"Know I'm making your little hole feel so good, but there's other people here. I wanna keep those moans just for myself, okay?"

Her eyes roll back as he continues to pump his finger inside of her, the assault on the magic little spot never stopping. She can sense the smirk that's likely formed on his face but she can't find it in her to care because she's never, ever felt this good before. She whimpers against his palm and he groans quietly, the sight of his gorgeous girl writhing beneath him nearly too much to handle. He wills his own raging hard-on away, instead focusing on Y/N's need to cum before he can even consider getting himself off.

"H-harry," she sounds beautiful mewling his name even when it's muffled by his hand, "I feel— I'm—"

"I know, dove, I know," he coos, quickening the loops around her clit. She's growing increasingly sensitive from his touch as her hole throbs around his finger. "Let go for me. Let go for daddy, lemme see that pretty pussy soak me."

Realistically, he would've preferred introducing her to the whole daddy kink thing on different terms, but he's instantly reminded of how insanely lucky he is when those are the words that push her over the edge. His jaw drops as he watches her squirm underneath his hands, riding out her orgasm and squeezing him in the most delicious way.

"Fuck, you're so fuckin' beautiful," he groans, unable to stop himself from lightly grinding his covered cock against her inner thigh. He can feel the warmth radiating off of her core and his desperation to feel her grows by the second.

When her orgasm finally subsides, she's panting heavily and he swallows, palming himself over his pants.

"Is this okay?" he asks breathily. Y/N raises up onto her elbows, her eyes growing a bit wide when she sees what he's doing. Despite how exhausted she is, she still nods, the curiosity of what he looks like when he comes steadily building inside her. "'s not gonna take me long — that was the prettiest thing I've ever fuckin' see. Jesus."

She blushes but he doesn't notice as he pulls his cock out from under his pants and boxers. He spits into his palm and starts to stroke himself, his gaze glued to the swollen mess between her legs.

In college, Y/N watched porn once. It was with her roommate and her friends, who found out she was a virgin and asked if she knew anything about sex. She didn't, so they had some sort of debauched education night for her, which was really just an excuse to giggle and make fun of the way guys moan in porn. It made her feel weird, watching this couple have sex on camera, but what she does remember is the girl encouraging him to cum. Once she started begging, it pushed him to her orgasm, and Y/N was pretty impressed with that.

So, she swallows her self-conscious nature and gazes up at Harry as the slick pumps over his length grow clumsy. She can see the pre-cum bubbling at the tip and the way he gathers it with each stroke, using it to further lubricate himself.

"Want you to cum for me," she breathes out, the words sounding foreign when they leave her lungs, "Please. Wanna see it."

Harry's eyes nearly bulge out of his head and she assumes she's done something right by the way he quickly squeezes them shut, a quiet fuck falling from his lips.

"Please cum for me, daddy."

Much like it was for her, the use of his honorific is what finally pushes him to his finish. His jaw goes slack and his chest vibrates with muffled groans as spurts of cum rain down on Y/N's mound, eliciting a small gasp as the feeling. It's messy, but she's enamored by how gorgeous Harry looks when he comes: swollen lips, clenched abs, flushed cheeks, his large hand fisted around his length.

"Shit," he mutters, reaching up with his clean hand to push his curls out of his face, "Are you alright? Was that okay?"

She nods far too quickly for her own good. She'd be lying if she says she isn't slightly overwhelmed, but she wouldn't take any of it back. She never wants to forget how good he made her feel, while the knowledge that she's the one that turned him on like that is a boost to her confidence.

"Lemme clean you up, hold on," he says breathily, reaching over to grab one of the folded hand towels in the cabinet. Gently, he runs the fabric over her sensitive bottom half, shushing her softly. He does the same thing for himself and then helps her shimmy her panties back up. "You sure you feel alright, dove? You're being quiet."

"'m okay. Just tired." She replies truthfully, sitting up to lean back against the wall.

"Yeah? One little orgasm and you're ready for a nap?"

She giggles and buries her head into his shoulder, her limbs feeling particularly jelly-like. He wraps a loose arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer, chuckling as he presses a kiss to her hair.

"That's alright. I'm happy to take care of you however you need, princess."

. . .

"When were you planning on telling me the bookstore is hiring?"

Harry's eyes widen at Y/N's unusually bold demeanor. He glances down at her, following her gaze to where she's staring at the small bookstore across the street. Sure enough, there's a help wanted sign in the window.

"I didn't know you were looking for a job, dove," he replies with a shrug. In all honesty, he's never really paid attention to the business across the street from his own.

"Well... I'm not really, but I do want to start making my own money." she says softly, biting her lip.

He raises his eyebrows, "Yeah? You wanna go see if you can fill out an application?"

Despite her nerves, she still nods her head. Harry smiles and intertwines their fingers together, guiding her across the way to the bookstore. He holds the door open for her and she swallows anxiously, stepping inside the quaint store. With his hand pressed to the small of her back, he gently ushers her to the cashier.

"Hi," she says shakily, "I saw you're hiring people and I was wondering if I could apply."

The woman at the front grins, immediately launching into a conversation with Y/N about how excited she is that someone's interested in working for them. As she pulls a paper application out from a drawer on the side, Harry smoothes his hand over her back, rubbing it gently. He's so proud of her, his heart feels like it could burst.

It's only when she's finishing up filling out her information that someone says her name. They both turn, Y/N's eyebrows instantly furrowing in confusion.

"Y/N," the woman hisses, and Harry glances down to watch his girl's face crumble, "What are you doing?"

"Y/N... who is this?" Harry asks, his possessive instincts immediately taking over.

She swallows harshly, tugging at the sleeves of her sweater.

"Um... this is my mom."

read part two here!

3K notes · View notes

moonchildstyles · 1 month

Note

have you thought about revisiting that anon concept about asterry and his girlfriend watching p*rn? I'm asking for a friend hehe

wordcount: 9.8k+

—————

(Y/N) blinked, staying silent as she took in the conversation around her. This was definitely not the avenue she saw the night taking when Charlotte had opened the second bottle of wine between the few of them.

"I asked him if he still watched it a lot, like as much as he did before we started dating, but he wouldn't really say no," Emily shared before taking a pull from her wine glass, "He didn't say yes, but all he said was that its different now, don't worry. What is that even supposed to mean? Like, do you watch porn when I go to sleep, yes or no?"

Charlotte and Sarah both laughed, joining Emily as she smiled around the rim of her wine glass. (Y/N) wanted to laugh along, but she was honestly still a bit thrown off by the topic.

Truthfully, she didn't know really much about anything that had to do with... pornography. The closest she had were the scenes some of her romantic novels had, and movies that had her adverting her eyes.

Not only was the act of sex demonized growing up—especially before marriage—but anything else that had to do with it. There was no way she was going to risk doing any of her own research should her parents' close monitoring catch even a stray google search.

After getting out from under their thumb, she didn't have much desire to go looking on that corner of the internet—she had done fine enough up to this point, she figured. Then, of course, she met Harry and there really seemed to be no need for any kind of video when she had him in the flesh.

(Y/N) honestly wondered if she had ever even spoken the word porn aloud, let alone discussed it with anyone else. This conversation was especially jarring given all of the giggling and the unfiltered language.

"Em," Charlotte piped up, bringing her wine glass to her mouth to cover the wry grin growing on her face, "Have you ever tried watching it with him, though?"

Feeling her cheeks warming, (Y/N) practically sunk into her skin as if to hide from the conversation. Sarah had mimicked her surprise some, though she was decidedly less shocked into silence.

"Charlotte!" Sarah bubbled, dark brows raised, "Is that what you do?"

Another peal of laughter came from the wine-soaked group, though (Y/N)'s reaction was more to fit in with the theatrics. (When it came to topics like these, she didn't want to be quiet even if she wasn't necessarily talkative—being too silent left people wondering if she was uninterested, judging them, and invited questions she wasn't looking to answer).

She had always figured the viewing of those kinds of videos to be something that was done alone. She couldn't fathom anyone joining in and watching alongside what should be a particularly intimate moment. (Besides, if you had someone to watch them with, why watch them at all when you could be with that person?).

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, opening her mouth before closing it. Emily nudged her at her side, a mischievous smile on her face.

"C'mon, spit it out."

Finally, Charlotte threw her hands up in surrender. "It's honestly not that bad, and I think you should try it."

"So, you have done it!" Sarah called, bouncing in her spot on the couch, "With Elijah or?"

"With Elijah, yeah," she settled, the wine getting to her tongue as she didn't mind sharing more details, "I walked in on him one time, and I wanted to be grossed out, but I just wasn't. It ended up working out, and now it's just a thing sometimes."

Charlotte's ending shrug before taking down a gulp of wine showed the end of her story, though Emily still nudged her as if there was more she could shake out.

"I don't know if I could do that," Sarah admitted, crossing her legs underneath herself, "I think it would annoy me too much, that Mitch was watching a video like that when he could have just called me or something."

(Y/N) rolled her lips between her teeth as the conversation then changed, some debate on if videos like that were allowed in relationships.

She didn't know what she would do if she walked in on Harry watching something like that. While she couldn't really deny that she enjoyed the sight of him playing with himself (something she's shyly learned every time Harry passed his fist over himself before sinking into one of her holes), she wasn't sure what she would think about the inspiration behind the act. There was a part of her that would be offended, she thought, that she was right there and he picked a video over the real thing. Another part of her understood that maybe he wouldn't want to have sex right then, instead opting to take care of himself before moving on. Besides, it wasn't like he had photos of her to look at in the heat of the moment, so she figured she would have to understand.

There was no use in being jealous of girls in movies anyway. Even if it did kind of hurt her stomach thinking about Harry reacting to them the same way he did to her.

Around her the conversation had floated elsewhere leaving behind the illicit subject matter for something lighter (a movie Emily had gone to the theater to hate watch only to end up liking it some, and now she was questioning her taste level). She was able to plug into this one much better, that much was evident in the way Sarah had quit giving her small glances as if she knew that (Y/N)'s comfort was twisting.

Despite now adding her own takes to the conversation and actively engaging outside of a few well placed laughs and head nods, the back of her mind was lagging behind.

There were questions rattling around that she was sure she wasn't going to be able to keep completely under wraps the next time she saw Harry.

—————

(Y/N) watched as Harry climbed into bed beside her, comforter pulled up to her chin as she sunk into the warm mattress. He gave her a lopsided smile when he caught her following gaze, her skin warming as she averted her eyes.

Cuddling in beside her, Harry pulled her close with an arm around her waist, his ankle hooking around hers. She could feel his eyes on her, but when she didn't immediately match his gaze she heard a plume of laughter fall from him,

"Why won't y'look at me, love?" he smiled, reaching his hand on her waist through the duvet to brush her hair out of her face.

She shyly kept her eyes on the column of his tattooed throat, following the thorny roses. "You caught me."

(Y/N) could feel the fan of his laughter as much as she heard it. His hand settled on her cheek then, his fingertips venturing into the baby hairs bordering her hairline. "Yeah, but y'catch me looking at you all the time," he countered, "Jus' lets me know y'like what y'see."

Using his hand on her cheek, he angled her face towards him once more, forcing her eyes to meet his own. A small smile graced his features, his eyes light with amusement. Tipping his chin just right, he pressed his lips to hers in a delicate kiss.

When he pulled away his smile had grown, dimples now touching his cheeks as he ran the pad of his thumb over the height of her cheekbone. "Did you have fun tonight, baby?"

Their dinner date splashed through her head, along with all of the warm feelings she went through while under the dimmed lights. They swapped bites of food, shared a cocktail (Y/N) really wanted to try but was worried it would be too strong, and Harry pulled out any joke he could in hopes of hearing her bubbling laughter through the restaurant.

Nodding her head against the pillow, her own smile took her features, leaving her cheeks mushed between Harry's hand and the soft of her pillow. "A lot of fun. Thank you for taking me."

His hand slipped down the slope of her form, settling on the sup of her waist before he gave a gentle squeeze. When (Y/N) reacted with a bubble of laughter, Harry's eyes swam with adoration.

"I had fun too, baby," he crooned, "Thank you for coming with me."

With the low lights and the gentle way he spoke to her, (Y/N) felt like she was supposed to be tired. It was kind of her thing, anyway—being sleepy and decidedly ready to pass out whenever. But, that just didn't seem to be the case tonight, her head was too full.

When she had come to his place after class, Harry greeting her at the door, there was a pinging question in the back of her mind that made an abrupt return from the previous night. As much as she wanted to blurt it out, get the curiosity out of the way, it didn't feel entirely appropriate to ask her boyfriend about his porn habits just after walking through the door. That much was made even more apparent given the fact that Mitch greeted her a few minutes later, trekking from his room to the kitchen with a small wave. Then, Harry had told her he had plans to take her out to dinner that night, and there was no way she was asking such a question in the middle of a restaurant.

There was never good time it seemed, to sate her curiosity and learn her own perspective on what her friends had been talking about. No time better than right now, anyway.

She just had to find some kind of courage to go along with the timing.

Shuffling closer, the sheets shifting around them, Harry pressed a small kiss to her forehead, right over a crease she hadn't realized was scrunching the skin. "What's going on in here?" he cooed, "You're thinking too hard before bedtime, love."

"I just—" she bubbled off before stopping her tongue. She swallowed, a pinch appearing between her brows. "There was something... I don't know."

There were no words that felt comfortable in her mouth, nothing that she could feasibly hear herself saying when it came to the questions she had. (Honestly, she couldn't understand how she was able to utter some of the things she did for Harry between the sheets and now shy away over pornography).

His hand on her waist was a stern anchor, the grip just tight enough to remind her that he was there. "'S alright, y'can tell me. What is it?"

Gone was the amusement and the soft teasing he had offered up to her before, instead his voice growing soft and forgiving. Patience now settled in his eyes as he waited on her.

Dropping her own gaze to dance around his features, she distracted herself with the spray of fine freckles on his nose. "The girls last night, they said something that I've just been... thinking about I guess."

The warmth of his gaze traced over her own features. "What was it? It wasn't anything rude, right?"

"No, no, no," (Y/N) rushed out, matching his gaze to show her sincerity. All of those girls were her friends, and Sarah would also never let anything like that happen around her. "It was—I don't know, it feels weird to say it."

Harry's expression relaxed now that he knew he wasn't there to be nursing any wounds. "We've said a lot of weird stuff to one another, baby. I think I can handle it."

She couldn't look him in the eye when she tried to speak again, instead dropping back to the tattooed skin of his neck. Her hands between them reached to take his shirt between her fingers, the faded graphic on the material distracting her just enough.

"They were talking about porn." Her heartbeat sounded in her ears. "With their boyfriends."

There was a pause, though (Y/N) could feel his unwavering eyes on her face.

"Okay," he finally shared, the syllable slow as it dropped from his tongue, "That's what's been on your mind?"

Folding her bottom lip between her teeth, she tried to find the next set of words that made sense. "I-I have questions. I think."

Harry's expression broke into a soft smile she could hear through the delicate huff of laughter he let out. "You think?"

Peeking up at him through her lashes, she saw his eyes bare of liner, the planes of his face relaxed and rounded, and his hair pushed away from his face leaving it all on display. He didn't look at all bothered by her avenue of conversation, leaving him to be the always open book he was for her, willing and ready to answer anything she needed.

"Yeah," she said, settling into her skin some, "I knew what they were talking about, but I don't think I really understand it all. I thought I could ask you, if it wasn't weird."

"Never weird, love," Harry shared, "You know 'm always here to answer anything y'need help with."

(Y/N) blinked, tipping her chin in a short nod. "Okay, but if there's anything you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

"'M sure I can answer ever—"

"Do you watch porn?"

Practically cringing at the sound of her voice wrapped around that question and the fact she spoke it aloud right to Harry, (Y/N) wanted to curl up in hopes of disappearing.

"Sorry," she started, her voice barely a peep, "I didn't mean to cut you off."

Harry looked at her for a lingering moment, his brows raised high over his eyes before he melted some. An amused smile sat on his lips, a small puff of laughter exhaling from his lungs. "'S alright," he offered, his hand on her waist squeezing just enough, "Not what I was expecting, but 's okay.

"To answer your question," he drawled, "No, I don't—not since you, really. No need to when I've got my own pretty star, huh?"

His lips molded into a teasing smile, but lopsided as he pressed forward hoping to catch a small grin from her.

Keeping her shy gaze dropped, (Y/N) couldn't keep her lips from curling. There was a bit of pride from the flattery; he didn't need any videos when he had her instead. She was enough to satisfy him, and that was a nice thought even if it was a bit in the gutter.

Spotting her shy smile, Harry let out a plume of laughter before he dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose. Knowing him, he probably already knew what was going on in her head, even if she didn't say it aloud.

"Is that all y'wanted to know, my love?"

Her fingers in his shirt curled just a bit more, as if she were bracing herself for this next string. "One of the girls, she said something about her and her boyfriend... watching it together," (Y/N) prattled, her voice growing smaller the more she went on, "Is that normal?"

Harry lagged in his response, taking his time with his fingers fiddling with a pulsing pattern on her waist. "It can be," he offered, "but, 's not for everyone. I've never really talked about that with anyone, but I would imagine it could make people feel closer—sharing something that's usually only done by yourself."

(Y/N) silently nodded her head, taking in his offered information. Truthfully, she wanted to stall, find another inconsequential question to stall him before she was left with the last curiosity she'd had burning in the back of her head.

The avenue she landed on was barely any less humiliating, but it was easy to fall from her tongue than the other she'd had on deck. She still couldn't meet his eyes as she spoke, bubbling off the question before she could second guess herself.

"Is that something you would want to try? Like, watching it together and all."

Skating his hand over the curves of her form, Harry tipped her chin up. Their eyes matching, (Y/N) could see the way he scanned over her features the way he always did when he was attempting to decipher where she was coming from. The lines of his features were softened, rounding into soft curves and gentling the longer her gazed at her.

"Is that something you want to try?"

Flounder under his pressing, (Y/N) understood what he was going for—she was too shy to explicitly voice all of her wants, so he had to fill in the gaps at times—but was still taken aback none the less. Of course the thought had crossed her mind since the previous night, about what it would be like to sit with Harry and watch a different kind of movie than she usually watched with him, but the idea wasn't exactly the most compelling.

She wasn't sure if she could really handle watching him watch someone else, and potentially become more turned on than he had even been with her. Nonetheless, she had never actually watched any porn herself, and she wasn't sure if she really had any real inclination to change that.

But, there was something to be said about the way Harry had described the act: sharing someone to vulnerable, that is usually kept private, with someone you trust. He had a way of making these scenes sound much more romantic than the semantics did.

"I don't know," she settled on, aware of the intensity in his eyes as he watched her, "I've never really watched anything like that, so I don't think I really understand what that would mean."

Almost imperceptible, (Y/N) was able to catch the way his brows raised just enough. "Really?"

Tipping her head in an almost shrug between the sheets, (Y/N) pursed her lips. "It was one of those things, you know."

That was enough of an explanation to Harry; he knew her growing years and the drilled in obedience that followed her even after leaving home. Despite curiosity, there was no way she would have had the confidence to even make a search, that he knew.

A small curve settled on his lips, patience and understanding sitting in his eyes. "Guess that makes sense then, hm?"

"Just add it to the list," (Y/N) joked back, a small huff of laughter falling from her lips.

His hand on her jawline that he had used to tip her face towards him now angled itself towards the curve of her throat. His palm was warm and agnate over her skin, the pad of his thumb stretching to rest on the hinge of her jaw. "Is it something you want to know more about?"

"Kind of," she answered honestly, sinking into the fluff of the pillow under her head, "But...Really, I think I only care about what y-you like and all of that."

It was one of the harder admissions, (Y/N) feeling as if she were asking a bit too much into his personal thoughts. If he wanted to share that part of himself, he would have already, she figured.

The warmth of his thumb on her cheek expanded as he pet a small trail down to the line of her jaw. "I don't really watch it anymore, love, remember?"

"Yeah, but," she started, resisting the urge to pin her bottom lip between her teeth, "What about before?"

When Harry paused, (Y/N)'s fingers in her shirt pulsed in an anxious curl.

"But, you don't have to answer if you don't want to," she quickly attempted to recover, replaying her words and just how pushy they may have come off.

The amused laughter that fell from his lips was enough to reassure her that she hadn't bothered him too much. "'S alright, baby," he murmured, "I was jus' thinking."

When he didn't immediately offer any extra information, she couldn't help herself—her curiosity was so close to gaining all the answers she needed, she didn't want it to stop now.

"About what?" she mumbled, watching intently as he just kept thinking.

Only one side of his mouth curled upwards, his smile going lopsided. "If I should tell you, or show you."

Now, (Y/N) had no choice but to fall silent around her dry throat. Show her?

Harry let out a small laugh at her reaction, unable to hold himself back before he was pressing a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose between her wide eyes.

"I take it that I should probably jus' tell you, huh?" he joked, pulling away with a brilliant smile on his lips to match the bright lilypad of his irises.

Swallowing around her dry throat, (Y/N) spoke up, "Y-You could show me. If you think that would be easier."

Though the request itself wasn't made with much confidence, she still was surprised it even made its way out of her mouth. Two birds with one stone, she figured, she'd finally see what it—porn—was all about, and learn something new about Harry.

That was what she was telling herself anyway.

Raising a single brow over his intense gaze, Harry took in her reaction. "We could do that," he mused, "But, I don't want to do that if it would make y'uncomfortable, love. It can be a bit... much, especially if you have nothing to compare it to."

Rolling her lips between her teeth, she allowed her gaze to trace along the line of the single stray curl that rested against his temple. "I think I can handle it," she told him, her voice small as she avoided his eyes.

Shifting his hand on her neck, Harry brought his palm to rest on her cheek. The pad of his thumb ran along the fragile skin under her eyes. "You are brave, aren't you."

"I try," she murmured, shy smile evident in her voice.

She could practically see the gears turning in Harry's head, his eyes flashing with just a glint of something she couldn't name. She was hyper aware of his hand once again gliding over her skin until he was carding his fingers through her hair to rest his palm on the back of her head. She matched her gaze to his bashfully.

"Are you tired, or do y'think y'can stay up a little while longer with me?"

With a flutter of her lashes, and her heart mimicking the act, (Y/N) tugged herself that much closer to him between the sheets.

"I can stay awake." His lips turned into a lopsided smile, a single dimple denting his cheek as he gazed at her. (Y/N) could only tip her chin just so when he surged forward, pressing their lips together in a warming kiss. While it was chaste, there was an urgency behind it that she could feel before he pulled away.

"Lay the other way for me, baby," he instructed with a jerk of his chin, "I need to grab m'phone." When (Y/N) didn't immediately turn to press her back to his chest, Harry lagged, keeping from reaching for his phone on the bedside. "What's wrong, hm?"

"I don't get to see you?" (Y/N) murmured, barely keeping the whine out of her voice. She preferred seeing his eyes over everything else, knowing that it was him that was touching her.

A soft hum of laughter fell from his lips. "'S just gonna be a little bit easier this way, love, that's all. I'll still be right here."

"'Kay," she answered, though she didn't follow his instruction until he pressed another kiss to her puckered lips.

With that, Harry reached to the bedside table where his phone was resting while (Y/N) twisted in the sheets to lay on her side with her back to his chest. The duvet folded, leaving her arm and back exposed to the chill while Harry took longer than a few moments to do whatever it is he was doing on his phone.

She could hear the faint taps of his finger against the screen, scrolling and typing before he eventually curled around her. Harry conformed to the shape of her, his sweatpants-clad legs tangling with her bare ones with his arm hooking around her waist to position his phone before the two of them. He shifted the pillow under his head until she could feel the plume of his breath grazing the column of her throat, warm though it still elicited goosebumps to erupt over her skin.

(Y/N) could feel her heart bubbling in her chest when she dared to peek at what was on his bright screen. Though there was nothing explicit or exposing on the screen, she was sure they weren't too far off with the dark color scheme of the site he had brought up.

"Are you sure, love?" he murmured, his lips close to her ear, "We don't have to do this if y'don't want to. It can be a lot right away, and I don't want to scare you."

Folding her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) allowed his words to roll around her head. She wasn't completely naive—she could imagine what the videos would look like, though she doubted it would look or feel the same as it did when she was underneath Harry. But, his earlier definition still stuck with her: this was a small vulnerability he was sharing with her. This is something he would normally have kept so private, but he was willing to bring her in and share something so different with her.

She could be brave—she could keep her curiosity burning enough to keep from feeling any kind of anxiety.

"I'm sure," she mumbled, "Thank you."

Dropping a kiss to her shoulder, Harry hugged her to his chest for a lingering moment. "You tell me if y'change your mind, darling."

"I will," she assured, despite his words being more of a statement than request.

Reaching over her, Harry grabbed for his phone and began tapping at the screen. The brightness had lowered from disuse, but was brought back to life from his touch, leaving every frame illuminated once more. Snuggled against his back, (Y/N) watched, her eyes widened once the reality of the site was scrolled through.

There was already a video pulled up on screen, showing what exactly took him so long to tap through his phone before. (Y/N) blinked, trying to decipher what was in the thumbnail before her.

From the small snippet she could see—along with the attention grabbing, all caps title—this was a loving couple having morning sex on a Saturday to the sunrise. Very romantic and loving, supposedly. In the picture, she could see the beginnings of a sunrise through a conveniently, perfectly lit bedroom. There were gauzy drapes over their open windows and pristine white linens on their bed—even the creases and folds were artfully tufted around their bodies. (Y/N) couldn't be sure if they were just that perfect, or this was an expertly produced video. She couldn't tell the difference.

The pair was barely clothed, their faces cut out of frame, leaving their bodies to be the star of the show. The man had tattoos—no where near as many as Harry, but still quite an array. He was undressed down his briefs, where there was a bulge that could be clearly seen against the woman's stomach. She was made of smooth swathes of skin, the ends of her hair visible as it brushed her bare skin before disappearing out of frame, and her chest bare. All (Y/N) could see that was distinctive about her form, was a small tattoo on her thigh in the shape of a red heart outline, contrasting against the white cotton panties sitting on her hips. Their limbs were in a tangle with one another, legs crossed and arms holding one another.

From behind, she could feel the brush of Harry's lips against her throat. "Does this look okay?"

(Y/N) gave her approval in a small nod of her head, her hair brushing against her pillow. "Have you watched this before?"

She could hear the curl of his lips in his voice as his words swept across the back of her neck. "A few times, yeah."

As he spoke, Harry's thumb tapped on the video, pressing play and starting it up. She watched as the frames took over the screen, showing the humble beginnings of the film with the woman crawling over the bedsheets to reach her lover where he was laid back against the pillows. The soft sound of their lips meeting could be heard off screen.

"W-When?" she asked, her line of questioning a safe distraction from what was going on in front of her.

The soft sounds of their mouths coming together and parting filtered quietly from his phone. Were they that loud when they kissed too?

"Not for a while," he reminded her, though his voice dropped lower into a whisper just for her when he spoke again, "Watched it for the first time after that night in my office at the shop though, I remember that."

"You do?" Her skin warmed at the reminder of that first night—all of the things she learned that night while sprawled out on that couch.

On video, the man had gripped the woman's hips and settled her atop him from the position she had previously held on all fours. The length of their bodies were pressed together, their faces still just perfectly out of frame to keep everything anonymous. Their kissing had turned rougher, a bit noisier as they sunk into one another. The sun outside their window was casting luminous glares over the scene, giving buttery warmth to their escalating acts.

Harry's hand on her waist squeezed as he watched. "Yeah," Harry breathed, a heavy kiss landing on the back of her neck, "I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I saw this video and... she kind of looks like you, doesn't she?"

(Y/N)'s breath caught in her throat. There was a moment as the woman moved, her body on display against the heavy tattoos of her partner that had her seeing them in just the right light.

Cotton panties, bare skin, delicate tattoo, all wrapped in white with the slow sharing of kisses between she and her lover. (Y/N) could see herself in that.

It was an exhilarating feeling knowing that Harry saw someone so effortlessly sexy, and could see (Y/N) in them.

She pressed herself against him that much more, her back against his chest. His hand on her waist tightened, as if preparing to keep her just where she was should someone try to steal her away. She could feel the fan of his breath fluttering over her skin as she watched his phone.

The acts between the couple escalated until the camera caught the way the woman ran her hand down the man's body until she had reached his cock. Her palm was pressed against the bulge, rubbing against it through the fabric of his underwear. He moaned unabashedly off screen, whispering something for only his lover to hear. (Y/N)'s lungs squeezed when she saw the way the dots of wetness seeped over the grey underwear covering him.

"Wh-What else do you like about this video?" (Y/N) murmured, shifting so her hand was laid over his own on her waist, their fingers tangling together.

A breathy laugh could be heard from behind her. Harry's voice was just as low as he spoke, "Do y'really want me to talk through the whole thing?"

"I like hearing you more," she admitted, squeezing his hand in hers.

A delicate kiss was dropped to her shoulder, the curl of his smile evident in the small contact. "Well, other than her reminding me of my angel," he drawled, a tease to his tone, "'S different than some of the things I used to watch. I liked seeing something gentle."

(Y/N)'s throat bobbed as she swallowed around her dry throat. Before her, the videoed couple had now moved on to sliding their hands into each other's underwear. The man's face was buried in his lover's neck, showing off a head of dark hair as his moans filtering through the small speakers. The woman's whimpering noises could be heard in tandem with the slick sounds of their hands roaming each other's bodies.

"What was the other stuff you watched?" Absently, (Y/N) was aware of the way her hips shifted some, rubbing her backside against Harry's front. Behind her, against the curve of her bottom, she could feel something much more rigid than the blocks of his muscle beginning to press into her.

He paused before he spoke, mulling over her question while she watched on screen as the few pieces of clothing covering the couple's bodies were shed. Harry's hand on her waist shifted, leaving her own behind as he pressed his palm into the soft of her stomach. She could feel the pressure of his fingertips on her plush skin just as much as she could see the man on screen press against his lover's thigh in the same way.

"'Member m'birthday?" he murmured into her skin, his mouth beginning a blazing trail over her shoulder. The tip of his nose caught on the neck of her top, pulling it along with him as he kissed the cuff of her shoulder.

For a split moment, there was a different movie playing for (Y/N). This one featured she and Harry as the stars, celebrating his birthday between the sheets with his cock sinking into her throat, his palm smacking over her center, and his cum painting over her face. She wondered if he could feel the way her stomach tightened under his hand at the memories.

"Yeah," she answered simply, the word carried on a warm breath.

He hummed from behind her, a smug curl on his lips pressing into her shoulder. "Things like that, baby," he explained, "But I started watching things like this after I met you."

The couple on screen was beginning to find the throes of their passion, now both bare bodied and reaching for one another. There was a part of (Y/N) that wanted to shy away at the sight of two strangers and their naked bodies, their recording of an intimate moment not sitting right in her stomach. There was another part of her that imagined Harry sitting down, pants to his thighs and his hand in his lap, picturing she and him in these spots instead as he fisted his cock. That part of her kept her from drawing her eyes away, urging her to see what he did—see what held his attention while waiting for her to be ready for more than easy touching and kisses in his bedroom.

Her mouth felt dry when she tried to speak again, only to be cut off when Harry's palm grazed the waist of her panties. Though she was still only feeling his touch through her shirt, she was sure he could feel the extra groove of fabric and the tightening of her abdomen. Only that much further, and he could fit his hand between her legs just like the man on screen was doing to his own lover.

"Wh-Why?" she asked, building off of his previous response to keep herself from melting and begging for him to touch her when they had barely just started.

Hooking his ankle around hers, Harry started pulling her that much more into his embrace. The sheets around them hissed over their bodies, his phone wobbling from its upright position against the pillow though it didn't fall. He pushed his thigh between her own, opening up her legs with the hem of her oversized shirt being pushed up and over her thighs.

"I liked the idea of going slow, after I met you, love," he detailed, no longer playing around when he finally slid his hand over her form and slipped it under the end of her top, "Didn't really get off on the thought of fucking you as much as I did to kissing you and making y'happy."

(Y/N) all but melted at his explanation. She reveled in the sound of his voice, mixing with the soft sound of the couple on screen finding their own bliss within one another. Through her hooded gaze, it was easy to see the lovers on his phone as she and Harry, the daydream building around her.

In a tug back down to earth, (Y/N)'s breath caught when Harry fit his hand between her thighs. His wandering touch had finally reached her, pressing the heel of his palm against her clit and the length of his fingers down her center. She was sure he could feel the heat that had collected there, though she hoped she hadn't completely soaked through her underwear that quickly.

"Y'like it so far?" he asked, pressing his palm that much harder against her clit.

"Uh-huh," she breathlessly replied. Her hooded eyes were glued to the sight of the way the man positioned himself above her, thighs open for him to fit between. She could hear him murmur something to her, passing a hand over her form with fingertips skating across her breasts and down to the round of her hips. Every touch was careful and clinging, the sound of their kissing soundtracking the moment. "He reminds me of you."

He hummed from behind her, his hand beginning to shift over her core in a delicate press to draw away her breath. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she answered, eyes stitched to the video as the man sunk his cock into his lover, a shrill whine leaving her lips while he settled against her hips. His tattoos quivered as his muscles flexed under his skin, making the stars and constellations inked over his skin dance. "You're better, but," (Y/N) swallowed, hearing the quiet slap of his skin against the woman's as he thrusted against her, "He touches her like you touch me."

Harry's response came in the form of languid touches that warmed her skin and kept her breathless even when her eyes closed and the video was an afterthought. Underneath her, he fit his free arm to coil around her form. His thigh between her two tensed, lifting just enough so he could spread her own legs enough to give her what she wanted.

Hooking his fingers into her panties, he pulled them to the side, a cool shiver going up (Y/N)'s spine now that she was exposed to his touch. He dragged his fingertips through her slit, collecting the drops of slick until he circled around her clit in languorous pulls.

She had never been so thankful for the stretched out neckline of her top as she was then, when she felt Harry's heavy kisses searing into her bare skin. There was so much of him all over, pressing into her back with his cock hard against her, his kiss on her shoulder, and his hand on her core, pulling more and more air out of her lungs.

"You know how many times I thought about doing that to you, baby?" he drawled into her skin, syrupy and thick into her pores, "Before y'were ready, this was all I had. Had to picture you letting me spread you out like that, feel how wet you were jus' for me."

With his hand between her thighs, slick fingertips on her clit before they traveled down towards her pulsing opening, she could have cried for him. She had been depriving him of this, leaving him to only watch videos and imagine, when they could have been doing this so much sooner. She wasn't sure at times—especially at one like this—how she had even made it through without his touch.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered out for him, her hand grasping at sheets, "Yo-You should have told me."

A rumble of laughter was felt against her back as much as she heard the sound fan to her ears. "Don't be sorry, lovebug, y'jus' weren't ready yet, that's all. I think we're making up for it jus' fine, don't you?"

She could only nod her head, forcing her eyes to blink open. It was a task given the fact that she was still luxuriating in the tease of his fingers passing over her entrance before smearing her clit and restarting the circuit. Looking ahead, she had seen that the couple on film was thick in their session, breathless, the man straining himself as he set a controlled pace while thrusting into his partner with the woman grasping and reaching for any part of him she could reach. Watching the way the man's skin turned pink in the wake of her nails made (Y/N) want to do the same to Harry—what would the roses on his chest and the butterfly on his torso look like filled in with a bit of color?

"I want to see you," she blurted out, unable to hold back anymore. She didn't care much for the movie anymore anyway, he was what she wanted. This video would probably still be there later, they could explore more later, if she really wanted.

A teasing smile could be heard in his voice, the notion making (Y/N) want to feel embarrassed through she didn't have much room for that given the way she was rutting into his hand. "Y'don't want to keep watching? I thought y'liked it, love? Liked him?"

"I like you," she countered, already turning in his arms despite the coil of his hold around her, "I want to see you now. You're better."

He didn't put up any more teasing argument, instead helping her as she twisted and turned in his arms until his phone was forgotten in the tufts of the duvet and she had her lips pressed to his. His and that had been between her legs was now stationed at her hip, his fingertips denting into the plush skin as she melted into him. A sigh of something that felt like relief to (Y/N) slipped from her throat.

Harry parted his lips, swiping his tongue across the seam of her mouth, tasting her noises. Reaching for his bare shoulders, (Y/N) wasn't even thinking before she had the blunt of her nails pressing to his skin, just like the woman in the video. (Who must have been having a good time given the faint noises (Y/N) could still hear among the folds of their bedding).

She readily opened her mouth for him to slip his tongue inside, eager to get a state of him. He led her through the kiss, pressing his tongue to hers and tasting through every delicate moan and breathy exhale she gave.

This was definitely better than watching a video.

"Harry," she mumbled into his kiss, barely enunciating before she was urging to press her lips to his once more.

He smiled against her mouth, allowing a small slew of her excited kisses to hit him before he pulled away enough to meet her eyes. His pupils were wide and dark, leaving only slices of murky green to ring around them. There was a flush over his cheeks, warm and red that matched the hue of his kiss-swollen lips. She couldn't help her eyes but to follow the tip of his tongue as it peeked out to wet his lips.

"What do y'want from me love?"

Her answer was automatic: "You."

(Y/N)'s gaze was drawn to the dimple that was thumbed into his cheek as a lopsided curl took his lips. "I know," he said, much too smug, "But do y'want me to keep touching you? Or do y'want more, love? Gotta tell me or I can't help you."

Her mind flashed to the vision of the man fitting his hips against his lover's like a puzzle piece, sinking inside her and straining his muscles to making the best pace for her. That was what (Y/N) wanted.

"I want more," she told him, her voice a whisper between just the two of them, "Like the video."

Harry drew closer towards he, his smile fading as the blunt of his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. "I can do that for you, baby. Do you think you're ready for me, or do y'need a little more?"

She shook her head on instinct. "I'm ready."

Tipping his chin, Harry pulled her into another languid kiss with his tongue touching over her lips. His kiss was a welcome distraction while his hand reached for the waist of her panties underneath the hem of her top. He pushed them down her thighs as far as he could before he was forced to break their kiss to help ease them off the rest of the way. (Y/N) felt clingy for him in that moment, already missing his touch and warmth. It wasn't much longer that he pulled his own underwear off, everything landing into a pile on the floor, before he was laying himself atop her.

Much like the movie, she swore their hips fit like puzzle pieces together, the bones cushioned by plush skin. She reached for his arms reflexively, though she hadn't meant to grip him so tightly until she felt the head of his cock nudge against her clit. Her lungs squeezed with a coiled ribbon cinching around her stomach.

Above her, Harry was like an angel. His eyes were bare from his usual liner, though there were still the stark black additions of his nose and lip rings pierced through his face. His skin was flushed and warm, cheeks matching his bright eyes. Around his features, his curls hung around in waved strands and curled ringlets. It wasn't the first time she had seen him like this and wondered if he was the true angel between the two.

"Still feel good, love?" he asked, his hands fisted into anchors on either side of her head.

Matching the intensity of his eye contact, (Y/N) kept herself from shrugging her hips against his own, wanting of feel along heavy brush of his cock against her center. "Uh-huh," she sounded, throat dry, "Please."

Only a glimpse of his smile could be seen before he was dipping down to draw her in for another kiss. He sealed his mouth to hers, kissing her top lip delicately with the soft sounds of their lips parting and coming together to fill the room.

For a moment, (Y/N) wondered if they would look like that couple if they were on film. If their love, and the gentle touches, and the shared heartspace could be seen just as easily. She liked to think they would do it even better.

One of his hands on the bed disappeared, the mattress shifting without the weight, before she felt it again over the small of her stomach. It was nothing more than a soft brush before he had his fist wrapped around his cock, guiding himself inside her. The head brushed against her clit in a heavy press; she couldn't tell if she was more wet than she thought or if he had been pearling dots of precum from his tip while she was preoccupied.

He slid his tip through her folds until he hit the pulsing entrance nestled inside. (Y/N) shivered, letting out small noise into his mouth. She could tell her was becoming distracted, his kiss slowing until he was doing nothing other than focusing on the slid of his cock through her wetness, socking in her until he finally pressed forward.

It was a familiar stretch, the head fitting inside her, but it still took her breath away. Especially now that their box of condoms was pushed to the back of his bedside drawer, barely used unless she asked, she was able to feel every ridge and vein on his cock. She felt more and more full with every inch pushed inside her, her walls pulling him in while she attempted to keep kissing him before giving up on the act in favor of simply resting her parted lips against his own.

Harry's guiding hand had shifted to lay on her hip, his touch a bit slick though neither of them minded. He was just as lost in the feeling as he was with the way he let out shuddering breaths with stilted lungs, his hand on the other side of her head now holding a tremor. His breath came out in warm fans over her features, heating her that much further.

He bottomed out with a wet sound of his cock sliding through her walls, his base resting heavy against her clit. (Y/N)'s hold on his arms tightened at the feeling, nails leaving imprints on his skin.

Her heartbeat bubbled in her ears as she got her bearings, coming to with a flutter of her eyes only to see harry already looking at her with his own hooded gaze.

"You alright?" he breathed, dilated eyes scanning over her features, "Do y'need me to wait?"

"No, no," she bubbled off, "Please, daddy."

That was all he seemingly needed to hear—the whine of her voice and his title so lovingly mentioned—before Harry was rearing his hips back and pressing into her once more. He split her open, her walls stretching and opening for him to fit inside with every languid thrust. The first few took her breath away, getting used to the feeling of the friction and every part of her body being fulfilled by him.

"Daddy," she helplessly called out, her voice a shared secret for just the two of them. The sheets hissed around them, matching her volume.

Harry watched her form above as she struggled to keep her eyes from closing. She wanted to see him; this is what she had been wanting when she decided to ditch the movie. She wanted to watch him the way they had watched the couple.

"'M here, baby. 'M here," he murmured, his voice dropping low as his mouth fell into a gape. "Feel so good, love—fuck."

Spurred on by his praise, (Y/N) hiked her this over his hip, the heel of her foot pressing into the back of his thigh. Her plush skin gave way to the angles of his body, cushioning him as he drove his hips into hers in lingering passes. His hand on her hip shifted then, dragging her sleep shirt the rest of the way up until her bare breasts were exposed to the heat of the room.

His palm dragged over the swell, her nipple catching on the creases of his skin. Goosebumps erupted over her form, her lashes fluttering at the touch. Harry dipped his head down, pressing his lips to her other breast, the tip of his nose skimming across before he wrapped his mouth around her nipple. His tongue touched over the bud, warming her though she could feel the skin tightening in response. He matched the pace of his wandering touch on her other breast, allowing her to feel him in every place she needed.

Almost.

Feeling the base of his cock press against her clit wasn't enough. She needed more than that fleeting touch against her, more than just the harsh smear over her weeping center.

"Daddy, I—" she cried out, her words evaporating when she felt him twitch inside her.

"'S okay," he shushed her, his mouth popping off of her nipple before he dragged his kisses towards her collarbone, "'M here, baby. I'll give y'anything y'want."

His words were nothing more than smeared rambles, but they sank perfectly into her brain. He was here—he had her. He wasn't a silly video, he was real and she could feel his weight and his touch and even his heartbeat.

"I want—" she stumbled, her words failing her in the heat of the moment, "I need—Please, touch me."

"I am touching you, baby," he countered, looking up at her through his lashes before finally leveling his gaze with hers. He hovered above her, his eyes still finding hers even as he jostled her with every thrust into her. "Y'need to tell me what y'want, and then I can help."

"My—It's—"

(Y/N) almost felt panicked, instead reaching for his hand on her breast to push it down to the apex of her thighs. His wrist strained under her hand when he realized when she was directing him towards. That was all the cue he needed before his thumb was smearing over her clit, circling and patting the bud just as she had wanted.

All but melting into the mattress, the beginnings of a cocky curl fell on his lips. "This was what y'wanted, my love? Coulda jus' told daddy—would have done it for you earlier."

Maybe it was feeling him splitting her walls open, slick with his precum, his hand on her clit, or the sound of his voice wrapped around his honorific, but (Y/N) could feel the bow in her abdomen tightening.

She could only whine for him, tightening her fingers around the bones of his wrist as he kept his ministrations up. His skin glimmered in a sheen of sweat, baby curls sticking to his temples as he took care of her just as he promised.

He caught her looking, matching his eyes to hers when she dared to travel her gaze to his clumped lashes. She expected a curl of his lips, a flash in his eyes, something teasing and smug to enter his expression. Instead, she saw the way his face rounded out, the harsh angles that usually made him up now fading into soft lines and curved edges.

"I love you," he murmured, "So much, (Y/N). You know that?"

This was a moment she wished she had on video, exactly from her perspective with every detail memorialized.

Releasing her hands on his wrist and arm, she settled her palms on his cheeks. Despite the rocking of their forms, the rustling bedsheets, and his phone lost somewhere at seat, (Y/N) almost forgot about everything but his touch.

"I love you too, honey."

Something flashed through his gaze then, but it was decidedly softer, more delicate than anything she had ever spotted before. She never called him by many pet names, preferring his name (it was the name of the man she was in love with, she couldn't think of a better thing to call him), but there were moments she thought he might like the extra love falling from her lips.

Harry didn't waste any longer than a beat before he was smearing his lips against hers. The kiss was messy and clumsy, just off center with his tongue swiping out before she was ready, but she loved it. This was what she wanted, what had been on her mind throughout the video.

He put more of himself into her, his hips picking up pace and his hand on her clit quickening. She felt the press of his chest every time he sank in deep inside her, splitting her walls and making more room for him than she even knew she had. Her insides clenched around him, sucking him deeper every time he sank back inside. The ribbon in her stomach was beginning to fray at the edges, unravelling more and more.

"B-Baby," Harry breathlessly crooned, pulling away just enough so she could hear, "Where do y'want m'cum? 'M al-almost there—fuck."

She didn't have to think before she was answering him, "Inside, inside. Please, daddy. I want it inside."

There was one more twitch of his cock inside her, his head nudging against what felt like her stomach, before there was nothing left of her to give. The fraying ribbon gave way, spooling too tight inside before falling apart. She shredded around him, feeling like nothing more than glimmering fabric laying in his arms for him to toss and turn whichever way he wanted. She could feel herself grow wetter, Harry's cock slicking through her opening.

(Y/N) clung to him, her hands on his cheeks keeping him close as she attempted to kiss him through her hazy mind. It was nothing more than her gaped mouth dropped open against his own, nothing more than absent calls of his name falling from her throat.

Barely, she could hear Harry mumbling a declaration—that he loved her—over and over against her mouth. She felt entirely too full, everything too much, when she realized he was cumming. Just as she had begged, he let go inside her, painting her walls in pumps of his cum that mixed with her own. She wouldn't be surprised to feel the aftermath dripping over her thighs.

By the time Harry's bedroom came back to fruition around her, (Y/N) wasn't sure if she had been breathing properly since he landed atop her. Everything around her was wispy, not quite real, other than Harry himself. He was a comforting weight, an anchor she clung to.

Sinking atop her, he rested his cheek on top of her chest. His nose skimmed her throat as he nuzzled closer to her, the length of his lashes tickling her bare chest.

"Y'alright, love?" he murmured, just as out of breath as she was.

"Mhm," she hummed, wrapping her arms around him in a clumsy hug, "I love you too, by the way."

A rumbling laugh fell from his chest. "Love you more."

With a small kiss being pressed to her sternum, harry began to untangle himself from her hold. He righted her shirt on her torso, covering her chest and keeping out the call that was beginning to seep over their sweat-glimmered skin now that the sheets had slid off of them.

"Where are you going?" she almost whined, reaching for him when he shifted out from between her cushioning hips.

His smile was tender, affection swimming in his lightening gaze as he looked at her. He brushed a stray hair out of her face, keeping her features clear for his admiration. "We've gotta clean up, love. Can't go to bed like this, can we?"

Fitting her bottom lip between her teeth, (Y/N) didn't want to answer him. He was right—she needed to use the restroom and find a different pair of underwear for the night, while Harry inevitably searched for new sheets to change the bed into. But she didn't want to do that right now. She didn't want to walk around on wobbly legs, and go through her designated drawer, or anything else. She didn't want to touch anything that wasn't him.

Instead, (Y/N) clung to him, using her weight to tug him down until he finally relented. Harry gave in with a sigh though he couldn't keep the smile off of his face.

"Five more minutes, 'kay?" he bargained, cuddling her into him with her face in his throat and chin on the crown of her head. He even tugged the sheet up to blanket their forms once more, keeping her warm before patting her hip through the material.

(Y/N) smiled, pecking a small kiss to his neck.

"Five more minutes."

She'd stretch it until ten.

—————

I finally got around to this request so thank you for everyone bein patient!!!! thank you for reading, sorry for any mistakes and if there's any ideas or requests you have send them in !!!

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bellatrixscurls · 18 days

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tattoo artist!sirius black.

ta!sirius who is piercing your nipples, but when you pull your top up and his fingers graze them, they harden almost instantly and you have to bite on your tongue to conceal a moan.

and he smirks up at you, whispering a soft “you okay, sweetheart?” and you can’t do anything but nod dumbly. but him and you both fucking know that you won’t be able to stay still for the rest of the appointment, so sirius has to constantly pin your hips down to the chair, because every single time he tries to touch you, you whimper and buck your hips.

your cheeks flush and you want to cry of embarrassment, but it doesn’t last much as he pulls your skirt up and your panties to the side, inspecting your glistening cunt. he smirks deviously and pushes a finger inside, watching your eyes roll back into your head.

you gasp softly, your moans the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. ever. “be quiet, sweetheart. you don’t want them to hear how fucking desperate you are, do you?” he taunts you before wrapping his plump, beautiful lips around your hardened nipples, his fingers still working in your cunt.

“no” you mewl, pouty lips open wide now. “need you so much. please” you beg for him and he curses under his breath, lips vibrating against your skin.

“fuck me, sweet thing. wish i could fucking tattoo your pretty sounds into my skin.”

#sirius black smut #tattoo artist!sirius black #sirius black x reader #harry potter smut #harry potter x reader #this might be shit but the thought of it makes me squirm

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surelystaggering · 3 months

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sirius black ! [ @ drwisteria on twt & ig ]

so, this was originally meant to be a duo piece but i couldnt work out posing for find good refs so now its just this !! hope you still like it. better quality on other socials though posting them later next week !!

#art #digital art #harry potter #marauders #marauders era #fanart #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius black art #digital artist #i love my little guys <3 #sirius is a pretty boy #sirius black au #singer!sirius black #prongsfoot #(VERY SUBTLE)#he wears a ‘j’ necklace and has a ‘james’ tattoo #drwisteria

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jarofstyles · 8 months

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Indigo Masterlist

Harry hates Y/N. She’s sure of it.

Or stone faced tattoo artist!H, a confused Y/N, tattoo shops, nervous rambles, leather sketchbooks, strawberry milkshakes and leather jacket sharing.

Check out our Patreon for early access and exclusives!

Warnings: tattoos, smut (duh), miscommunication, talk of anxiety and bullying, drug usage (weed), alcohol, and tooth rotting fluff

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Divider by firefly-graphics

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reddye23 · 6 months

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#ai pics #mechanic harry #professor harry #boxer harry #tattoo artist harry #ok ai is creepy but also beautiful #october 2023 #credit to the person who made this

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miszoblin · 3 months

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There are two notable markings on Harry’s skin. The first mainly serves to attract a lot of stares and secure the first page of the Daily Prophet far more often than Harry would like. The second sits quietly beneath the sleeve of his cloak and goes by perfectly unnoticed but bothers Harry far more than the brand on his brow has ever served to. Both have got everything to do with Lord Voldemort.

Both are a death sentence, in some manner of speaking.

two words in green ink by @riddleandpottersittinginatree

#when i read this ff i knew i needed to draw it #it was like 615 pages long and it tok me 2 days i love it #harry has a dark mark #i didn’t draw in a while so i kinda cheated with background #i just wanted to draw the tattoos really #i am back in tomarry fandom help me #tomarry #harrymort #two words in green ink #ao3 #fanart #artists on tumblr #harry potter #tomarry fanart #tom marvolo riddle #illustration #harry potter x tom riddle

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lemoncrushh · 18 days

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Tattooed Heart - Part I

SUMMARY: You are a cocktail waitress at a swanky lounge. Harry comes in one night, and you instantly dislike him. But another encounter eventually changes your opinion.

PAIRING: Waitress Y/N x Artist/Tattoo Artist Harry

TROPES: Enemies to Lovers

MUST BE 18+ TO READ

WORD COUNT: 4K+

STORY PAGE

You could spot the birthday parties from across the room. Beautiful, rich kids and socialites tend to go all out, with the balloons and banners, ordering bottles or at the very least, top shelf cocktails by the dozens. On occasion, you might get a wealthy middle-aged businessman, or some guy who just made his first half-mil in crypto, ready to live it up for the night, but they usually kept a lower profile, not attracting as much attention to their celebration.

Zelda’s was a swanky, high-dollar lounge for the rich and the wannabes. In your two years as a cocktail waitress there, you’d learned how to spot the difference. Those with money knew how to spend it. Those that were only there for one evening of “let’s pretend” spent frivolously, cashing it in before - or sometimes after - going belly-up.

Tonight seemed to be just like every other weekend evening, the corner booths filled with decorations and Gucci-lipped twenty-somethings taking cell phone pics of each other. You gave your best fake smile, ready to serve anyone willing to blow a few hundred on drinks and hopefully dishing out hefty tips.

“What can I get you, doll?” you asked the blond at the end of the half-circle booth.

She gave you a quizzical look at first, as though you had just interrupted a private conversation. Then with a flip of her hair, she smiled at her group.

“Oh, I think Harry was gonna order for us all,” she said. “It’s his birthday.”

“And which one is Harry?” you grinned at the three young men who shared the booth, all dressed in suit jackets with their shirts unbuttoned past their pecs. Everyone at the table pointed to the dark-haired guy who sat in the center with his hands up.

“That would be me,” he remarked nonchalantly in a syrupy British accent.

“Well, Happy Birthday, Harry,” you raised your voice over the loud music. “What are we having for this celebration?”

“Tequila, the best you’ve got,” he replied, his ringed finger gesturing in a circle. “All around. And a bottle of Cristal.”

Two of the girls at the table cheered, clearly impressed with Harry’s selection.

“Sounds like a good party to me,” you nodded. “Be right back.”

Heading over to the bar, you heard the group cackle behind you. Then one of the girls shouted, “Stop it!” When you reached the edge of the bar, giving John, the bartender your order, you snuck a glance over at the table. The girl sitting next to Harry held her cell phone up to take a photo, the birthday boy with his tongue in her ear. Clearly the group had gotten a head start on drinks before they’d ever arrived.

“Another one of those, huh, Y/N?” scoffed John.

“Same shit, different day,” you commented, shaking your head. “Gimme one of the birthday glasses, will you?”

“Ah, which Paris Hilton wannabe is the birthday girl? Lemme guess…the blonde in the silver bandeau top getting her ear tongue fucked.”

You chuckled. “Try the fucker.”

“Oh yeah?” John raised a brow, placing the bottle of Cristal on your tray. “The himbo, eh? Wouldn’t have guessed it.”

“Why not?”

“Imposter Armani suit? I can spot it a mile away, honey.”

You laughed as he finished pouring the tequila. “Guess he’s out of his element. But he obviously wants to impress on his birthday.”

“From the look of the caliber of girls he’s with, I’d say I don’t blame him.”

You nodded, carefully taking the tray. You knew what John meant. Harry may have not been the typical socialite to walk through Zelda’s doors, but the women in his company obviously were. And they expected to be treated as such.

Returning to the table, you gave your biggest smile as you set out the tequila. You noticed Harry eyeing you as the rest of the group claimed a glass.

“This is your best tequila?” he asked, almost in a huff as though you couldn’t have possibly selected the best.

“Definitely,” you replied. “It’s a Siete Leguas.”

“Hmm.” Lifting his glass, he let the liquid swirl before taking a sniff.

“Smells good to me,” remarked the blond next to him. “But I don’t know much about tequila.”

Harry took a slow sip, his eyes still on you above the rim of his glass.

“What d’ya say, H?” asked one of the other gentlemen.

“It’ll do.”

Trying your best not to react negatively, you chewed your bottom lip. “I can get you something else if you like.”

“I said it’s fine.”

Not bothering to mask your frown, you took a deep breath through your nostrils. This was gonna be a long night.

“Would you like me to pop the champagne now?” you asked.

“Sure, go ahead,” Harry gestured with his hand, taking another sip of his tequila.

Taking the bottle, you opened it with finesse, just the way you’d been taught and had been doing since you’d started working at Zelda’s. The girls all cheered when the cork popped. Harry, however, was not impressed.

Grabbing the special birthday glass, you began to pour.

“What the fuck is that?” spat Harry.

“It’s for you,” you smiled.

“I don’t want that. Gimme one of the regular champagne glasses.”

“I’ll take it!” beamed the blond on the end. “It’s cute!”

Harry rolled his eyes before handing the glass to her with a smirk.

“Here, Tawnie,” he said. “Pretend it’s your birthday.”

“Aw, yay!” she giggled with glee.

Trying to keep your composure, you poured another glass of Cristal, handing it to Harry.

“Shouldn’t ladies go first?” he remarked, scooting the glass to the girl next to him.

“God, I’m gonna be so wasted,” she laughed.

Swallowing hard, you knew where this was headed, so you poured champagne for the other two girls, then passed around the remaining glasses to the guys, leaving the last for Harry.

“Happy Birthday,” you said again, this time with no enthusiasm. “Enjoy.”

Leaving the bottle on the table, you turned away, cursing under your breath before making your way back to the bar.

“Jesus fucking Christ, kill me now,” you whined at John.

“That bad, huh?”

“He’s a petulant, disrespectful asshole!”

“The good looking ones usually are,” John sighed.

“You think he’s good looking?” you twisted slightly to look over at the booth. Harry was laughing at something one of the other guys had said.

“Honey, don’t tell me you didn’t notice!” chuckled John.

“I was too busy wanting to pour tequila over his head,” you grimaced.

“Well, try not to let it get to you, hon. Just be your sweet self, and get that massive tip. The night will be over, and you’ll never have to see him again.”

With a nod and a sigh, you took the refills for the next table, handing them out with a bright smile. The older gentlemen gave you a thanks and a wink, one of them patting your behind as you bent over. You hated being fondled at work, but if you had a choice, you’d take that any day over dealing with jerks like Harry.

“Excuse me!” you heard someone shout as you started to make your way back to the bar. Speak of the devil.

“Yes?” you grinned, stepping over to Harry’s table. “What can I do for you?”

“Can I get a glass of wat-” asked a brunette before Harry rudely interrupted.

“We need water,” he said, accusingly.

“Sure, no problem. All around?”

“Of course,” he rolled his eyes. Apparently this man lived to be constantly perturbed.

“I’ll get those for you right now.”

“That should have been like…a given, right?” he remarked. “What waitress doesn’t automatically bring water?”

With a sigh, you slid your tray under your arm, pressing your hand on your hip.

“If you want water…or anything for that matter…you can ask for it!” you barked. “I’m happy to bring it to you. But you don’t have to treat me like an imbecile!”

“Jeez,” one of the other guys muttered under his breath.

“What?” Harry glared at you, his eyebrows knitted together.

“You heard me, Birthday Boy! I’m just doing my job!”

As you started to turn away, you heard him mutter, “Doesn’t look like it,” followed by the rest of the group either giggling or shouting “Ooooh!”

You decided not to delight him with a response. Instead, you strutted to the bar where your darling pal John was already getting water glasses ready.

“Fuck me sideways, girl, that was rough!” he exclaimed.

“I’m done, John! I can’t deal with these assholes anymore!”

“Uh oh, looks like you may have to,” John averted his eyes to the glasses in front of him. Turning to see what he was talking about, you nearly ran into Mr. Personality.

“You owe me an apology,” he growled.

“Excuse me? I think it’s the other way around!” you yelled.

“I’m out with my friends for my birthday,” he explained, gesturing toward the table, “and I don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me.”

“The way I’m tr-” you turned beet red. “How dare you! You entitled, self-centered prick!”

“Easy, girl!” you heard John shout, but you paid no mind. You were ready to have it out with this guy.

“What did you call me?”

“Y/N!” someone else shouted. Looking up, you noticed your boss, a scowl on his face as the entire lounge had turned their focus on your encounter. “What seems to be the trouble here?”

“Are you the manager?” asked Harry.

“Yes, sir, how can I assist you?”

“I’m not sure exactly,” he began, “but your waitress here seems to have a problem with me. I’m here celebrating my birthday with my mates, and she’s gone out of her way to be rude to me all evening.”

“What?!?!” you shouted incredulously.

“Y/N, did you have a problem with this young man?”

“No, sir,” you shook your head, your arms crossed over your chest. “It’s the other way around. He’s been nothing but rude since-”

“She just called me a prick,” Harry interjected.

“Because you’re being one!” You glared at the asshole, shooting daggers at him. You felt like your insides were on fire as you held your hands in fists at your sides.

“Y/N, if you can’t control your temper, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” said your boss.

“I’m sorry, but he’s so rude, Mr-”

“Y/N,” your boss narrowed his eyes at you, before turning to Harry. “Sir, I do apologize for my employee. We do not condone this kind of behavior at our lounge.”

You watched Harry as his shoulders fell, a breath releasing from his nose. “I should hope not.”

“Now…” your boss added. “What can we do to rectify this situation? Perhaps we can put your tab on the house?”

Harry raised his brows, surprised at the offer. “That would…yes, that would be nice. Thank you.”

Your boss nodded, patting Harry on the back. “No problem whatsoever. I hope you’ll come see us again.”

“Not if she’s here,” Harry scowled.

“I assure you, that won’t happen.”

With a gasp, you watched your boss turn around and face you. “Get your things, Y/N,” he said in the most relaxed voice possible, as though you weren’t just getting canned.

“Are you serious?” you cried.

“We don’t talk to our patrons this way,” he explained. “I won’t allow it. Now, put your apron away and clock out.”

Your jaw set, you tried your best not to cry. No, you wouldn’t allow yourself to. Not in front of him.

“Fine,” you said, untying your apron. You slapped it down hard on the bar, then turned for the back room, but not before noticing the sly, satisfied smirk on jerkhead’s face.

Only when you reached the back room did you let the tears fall. Cursing at yourself, at Harry, and your boss, and at the entire situation, you managed to grab your jacket and purse. You almost forgot to clock out, but you figured you might not get paid otherwise. Sitting on the dark green leather sofa, you waited until you thought Harry and his crew might be gone. Then wiping your eyes, you stood up, nearly bumping into John.

“Oh, Y/N, honey I’m so sorry!” he cried, wrapping you in a big hug.

“What the fuck, John? Why does he get to win?”

“I don’t know. The whole ‘the customer is always right’ thing, I guess.”

“That’s a load of bullshit,” you sobbed against his chest..

“Preaching to the choir, sister.”

“Is he gone yet?”

“Mr. Pretentious? Yeah, he left a few minutes ago. Want me to walk you out?”

With a nod, you let John walk you halfway through the lounge until you met up with your boss again who insisted he be the one to see you out. Just in case you were to cause a scene or some shit. As if you would. Not after that whole ordeal. You felt completely defeated…and deflated. You felt the eyes on you as you made it to the front door. Your boss held it open for you as you stepped into the balmy night air. With a sigh you walked to your car, turning once to give Zelda’s the middle finger.

Fuck that Harry guy. Fuck him to hell and back.

“Are you ready?” asked Shae.

With a sigh and a nod, you grabbed your keys. Last month you had promised your roommate that you’d go with her to get a tattoo. While you had been thrilled then about getting some new ink, after getting fired from Zelda’s, the excitement had worn off. In fact, you’d considered canceling all together, seeing as spending dough on a tat now seemed frivolous, and you could certainly use the money in case you couldn’t find another job soon. But in the end, you decided you owed yourself some kindness. And besides, Shae was chomping at the bit to get one, and she wouldn’t let you live until you went with her.

You drove to Fine Line Ink, just a few blocks from your apartment. You’d driven by it several times, but had never gone inside. Shae specifically requested this tattoo shop because apparently it was fairly well-known on social media. At least your roommate had done her research, even though she had no idea what tattoo she wanted to get.

“I’ll know it when I see it,” she’d insisted.

You heard 90s rock music playing when you opened the door, but saw no one standing near the counter, or even in the waiting area. The front room was dark, but with warm lighting, much like at Zelda’s. You could smell incense burning as you gazed around at the walls decorated in various designs. Wandering over to the glass counter, you inspected the display of body jewelry.

“Hi, how can I help you?” you heard a voice say.

Your body instantly felt cold as you stood up straight. You knew that voice. And it was one you’d hoped you would never have to hear again. Turning around, you caught a glimpse of his tall frame, his t-shirt stretched tight across his chest, his biceps peeking out from the sleeves.

Motherfucker.

“Hey,” beamed Shae. “We’re here to get tats.”

Shae gestured toward you, and your body went numb.

“Oh?” Harry raised a brow, then looked at you. The recognition and disdain both happened instantly. “Oh.”

Turning back to Shae, he asked, “Do you know what you want?”

“Not exactly,” she shrugged. “Nothing too big. But not too small either.”

Harry chuckled. “Alright. I have a book right here,” he pointed to one on the counter. “It’s got some ‘not too big, not too small’ ideas in there, if you wanna take a look.”

“Okay, thanks!”

“Take your time,” Harry grinned at her. “I’ll be back.”

He gave Shae a small wave, but you didn’t miss the way his expression changed when he glanced at you before he disappeared to the back.

“So what are you thinking of getting?” your friend asked as she perused the book. She stopped on a page of flowers, but scrunched up her nose. “Nah.”

“Um…let’s go somewhere else,” you told Shae, practically pulling her arm out of the socket.

“What? No! I wanna get a tattoo here!”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Why not? I heard this guy’s the best. Plus…he’s like hella hot!”

“No, he’s not,” you argued.

“Are you fucking blind?” scoffed Shae. Turning the page in the book, she stopped and pointed at a baby lion. “That’s it!”

“I just…” you stammered, “I just don’t think this is a good idea anymore. I changed my mind.”

“Did you find something you like?” Harry asked from the doorway.

“No-”

“Uh huh!” exclaimed Shae. “This baby lion is so cute. It’s so me. I want him right here on my hip.” She jutted out her hip, slapping her hand where she wanted the tattoo to go.

Harry chuckled again, making your insides churn. You wanted to vomit.

“Alright,” he said, handing her a clipboard. “If you’ll just fill this out for me, I’ll go prepare your stencil.”

You weren’t sure what to do. You’d already promised your friend, and she looked so excited. You knew there were dozens of other tattoo shops you could go to, but Shae had picked this one. Why did it have to be this guy’s shop? Of all the fucking…

Taking a deep breath, you lowered yourself slowly in a nearby chair as Shae filled out her paperwork. Signing her name, she turned to you with a smile.

“Isn’t it cute? I’m so excited!”

With a gulp, you were about to respond when Harry returned.

“Let’s go back here,” he gestured once he’d taken the clipboard from Shae.

“Wait, my friend’s getting one too,” she looked at you. “Aren’t you?”

“No.” Although the sound came from your mouth, you could have sworn Harry’s lips moved too.

“Um…” you cleared your throat. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Shae asked, confused.

Although you didn’t want to, you gazed at Harry. His frown was so apparent, it almost looked like his eyebrows were sewn together. Finally, he relaxed his expression, pretending for Shae’s benefit.

“Don’t reckon I have enough time, love. It’s only me here tonight.”

You had to hand it to him. That was a good answer.

“Oh,” Shae pouted. “But I wanted to get tats together.”

“It’s alright,” you assured her. “I need to save my money. And I doubt there’s anything here I’d want anyway.”

You had to hand it to yourself. That was a nice dig.

It wasn’t lost on Harry, either. He scowled at you before turning for the tattoo chair, Shae following behind.

“This your first tattoo?” you heard Harry ask as you remained in the doorway.

“Yes. So please be gentle,” your friend replied, obviously flirting.

You rolled your eyes as Harry chuckled. In any other situation, with any other man, not only would you have encouraged the flirting, you might have even joined in. Both John and Shae were right in saying he was good looking…or hella hot as it were. Even you had to admit that. But you hated to. And you also hated how his laugh rang through the shop, like an invisible tattoo of its own, lacing with the sound of the Foo Fighters song that played.

Crossing your arms, you leaned against the door frame, trying to think of a way to get out of the situation. You thought of faking an illness. You did feel like throwing up. But Shae wasn’t having it.

“Come sit over here, Y/N!”

“I’m fine here.”

“Noooo. Come over here in case I need to hold your hand. What if I pass out or something?”

“Do you pass out easily?” Harry asked as he pulled on his gloves.

“No,” Shae replied. “I’m actually not scared of needles. But you never know.”

You caught the grin on Harry’s face as he turned in his chair. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Y/N!” Shae whined. “Please!”

Rolling your eyes, you surrendered, walking slowly toward Harry’s tattoo station. You noted everything he had set out on the tray beside him. At least he seemed to know what he was doing. But you weren’t about to admit that. Grabbing a nearby chair, you took a seat on Shae’s other side, opposite from Harry.

“So, you want it on your left hip?” Harry confirmed.

“Yep.”

“Alright. So I’m gonna need you to pull down your pants just a bit, past your hip, and turn on your right side facing…um…your friend.”

“Yes, sir,” Shae smiled, happily willing to oblige.

You watched as she unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them down as sensually as she could on the leather chair. You caught a glimmer in Harry’s eyes when he noticed she was wearing a thong.

“Seriously?” you scoffed.

“What?” he frowned, looking up at you.

“Do you have to ogle at her for fuck’s sake? She’s getting a tattoo, not stripping for you.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“Believe me, joking is the last thing I’d be doing with you.”

Shae stared at you as she laid on her side. “Y/N, it’s okay! He can ogle at me all he wants!”

“Shae,” you narrowed your eyes.

“I think your friend can speak for herself,” remarked Harry.

Making a face, you sat back, crossing your arms and legs. His expression stoic, Harry pushed his chair closer to Shae, lightly swiping her skin with rubbing alcohol. Then he took a disposable razor to gently shave her hip.

“I promise I just shaved this morning,” giggled Shae.

“I’m sure you did,” Harry smirked. “It’s just procedure. We have to thoroughly prep the area before adding ink.”

Taking the stencil, he placed it on Shae’s hip, directly under her panty line.

“Is this where you want it?”

“Yes, that’s perfect.”

“Good.” Harry ran his fingers slowly and smoothly across the thermal paper, and you just had to say something.

“You’re enjoying this way too much.”

Blowing air between his lips, Harry glared up at you.

“Would you stop? I’m just doing my job.”

“Oh, really? Could have fooled me. Looks like you’re trying to feel her up.”

“Y/N, what the fuck?” cried Shae. “Do you have a problem with this guy?”

“Oh, you noticed?”

Shae sat up, looking at you quizzically. “Do you know him?” Then lowering her voice, she whispered, “Did y’all fuck?”

Hearing the question, Harry snorted.

“Yeah, you wish,” you scoffed, giving him the evil eye.

“In your dreams, babe.”

“That’s it, I’m outta here,” you sprinted out of your chair, heading for the door.

“Y/N!” Shae shouted. “What is going on?”

“I’m sorry, Shae, I tried to keep my cool. But I can’t even stand to be in the same room as him.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” muttered Harry.

“Ugh!” you cringed. “C’mon, Shae, pull your pants up. We’ll find someone more competent to do your tattoo.”

“I believe I’m more than competent,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“I’m so lost here,” Shae whimpered, still in her chair. “How do you know each other?”

When you reached the doorway, you turned to face her, your arms still crossed.

“He’s the asshole who got me fired.”

“What?! Are you serious?!”

Adjusting herself in her chair, she faced Harry, waiting for him to retort. But he remained expressionless, his mouth in a straight line. Giving up on getting any response from him, you sighed and gestured for Shae again. When she slid off the chair, buttoning her pants, Harry finally spoke.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“What?” you glared at him.

“I…I didn’t mean to get you fired.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“I mean it. I was…a complete prick to you…just like you said. And I’m sorry.”

“Pffftt,” you sounded. “It's a little late for that. I lost my job because of you!”

“I know, and I felt bad about it.”

“No, you didn’t!” you spat. “You were ecstatic that you’d gotten your way! You’re an asshole!”

“You’re right,” Harry nodded. “I deserve that. But I hope you know that wasn’t me.”

“Do you have an evil twin?”

“No. I was trying to impress my friends.”

“By being a jerk?” piped Shae.

“Yeah. I know it’s not a good look,” Harry shook his head. He rose from his chair, stepping closer to you. “I was seeing this chick, Nicolette…and she was…used to a certain lifestyle. It felt good to be part of her world for a while.”

“Doesn’t sound like friends to me,” you remarked.

“No. They just wanted to go to Zelda’s and get drunk. I swear, it’s not my scene.”

“You don’t say.”

“Look…” Harry sighed. “I’m not asking for forgiveness because I know you won’t give it to me. I have no real justification for the way I acted. I truly was a prick that night. But I regretted it later. I knew it was wrong of me, and I wanted to apologize but I didn’t even know your name, let alone where to find you. I broke it off with Nicolette, too.”

“Oh, jeez, that makes me feel soooo much better,” you said sarcastically.

Throwing his hands up, Harry turned around and began to gather things from the tray.

“You really have some nerve, you know that?” you added.

Harry spun around, “For what? For apologizing?”

“For everything! For acting like a big shot, especially when you obviously didn’t belong there. For yelling at me in front of the entire bar, including my boss, and for getting me fired. And for being rude to me as soon as I walked in here.”

“Hey, you were rude to me first!”

“I was not!”

“Hey, guys?” Shae interjected. “Maybe we should just drop it. You were right, Y/N. We shouldn’t have come here.”

“I swear, Shae, if I had known he worked here, we wouldn’t have. Let’s go.”

As soon as you pushed the door open, you heard Harry huffing. “Your loss, not mine.”

“Fuck you, dude!” you exclaimed. “And get a life. A real one, not someone else’s.”

FEEDBACK IS LOVE

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry fanfic #harry fan fiction #harry fanfiction #harry fic #harry smut #enemies to lovers #slow burn #harry x reader #harry x yn #tattoo artist!harry #asshole!harry #repost

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 7 months

Text

Young American - Part 22**^

Ahhh, it's been a long while since I have posted for this series! I lost a bit of interest and got a little discouraged, but we're back! This will be the second to last chapter of this series!

Series masterlist

Warnings: everything about pregnancy, hand job, graphic descriptions of birth, mentions of being estranged from family, loving/gentle breast groping, arguing, mentions of abusive exes, accusations of infidelity, lying/sneaking around

WC: 16.1K

…. APRIL …

Y/N was 28 weeks along now and Harry hadn’t failed to let her know that the baby was in fact the size of a large aubergine and well, she couldn’t really help the horrified expression on her face as she visualized what the size of a large eggplant actually was. She still had a couple months to go, so she couldn’t even imagine how big the baby actually got. She couldn’t help but feel awful about the baby still having plenty to grow. She had been thinking about how quickly she’d wait to give their son a sibling, but now she was a bit hesitant about it. Despite her nerves, she finished getting ready for their little baby shower/house warming party with family and friends.

Apart from this being the baby shower/house warming party, today was also going to be special because they intended on sharing with Harry’s family that they were indeed going to be naming the baby after Harry’s grandfather. They wanted to do that as privately as possible because they knew it would be something emotional for them. So after their other guests left after their brunch, they would have a dinner with everyone that had been able to make it from his family. Julie had also arrived a few days earlier and well, there was a small surprise in this for her too.

Y/N was having a nice time getting to know more of Harry’s family and friends and of course, bonding even more with the people she’d already met previously. Seeing Harry with his friends was really nice, she hadn’t really gotten to know them yet because she’d been setting up their house and well, she couldn’t drive in England yet (the one time Harry had taken her out for a spin to practice and told her to go right she ended up in the wrong lane and a delivery truck was coming and she panicked and almost crashed into a fence), but also she didn’t just want to drop by the shop randomly when he was working such long sessions, so she’d been alone a lot with Hillary and they’d grown quite close. She felt that spending all this time with her was healing the grief she felt for her own grandmother. Hillary was a lot more talkative and more of a riot than her grandmother had been, she was also a lot more receptive and openminded about a lot of things. Hillary had even expressed to Y/N her interest in getting a tattoo for Charlie, the way he had done for her, and this had Y/N crying over how cute she was. And now that Julie was here she was sure she’d have more company, especially as she got closer and closer to her due date.

“Hey love, you’re out of napkins.” One of Harry’s co-workers came up to her as she preoccupied herself with picking up some of the empty aluminum trays they had on the food table.

“Oh, thanks for telling me! I’ll go grab some.” She smiled and hurried into the house, well hurried as much as she could with a large eggplant-sized baby in her tummy. She set the empty trays down and then opened up a new packet of the napkins to take out. She was just about to head back out when Alyssa came in with a sour look on her face.

“Hey Y/N, sorry to bug you, but have you got any sparkling water?” She asked and Y/N nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” She said and turned to the fridge, “Are you alright?” She asked as she looked inside.

“I suddenly got very queasy.” Alyssa explained and Y/N frowned.

“Ugh, was it the food? I told H we should’ve just left the eggs and sausages inside, it’s a bit warm out.” She explained, “We’ve got lemon and blackberry flavors.”

“Lemon, please.” She said, “But, no the food was alright. I don’t see anyone else having issues.” She said with a smile as Y/N handed her the cold bottle.

“Could you perhaps be…pregnant?” She asked as Alyssa opened up the bottle and upon hearing that she sighed and looked up into her eyes apologetically.

“Ummm, yeah actually, I am.” She confirmed nervously and Y/N’s smile grew wide.

“Oh my god! Congrats! When did you find out?!” She asked happily and Alyssa seemed relieved at her reaction.

“Just a few days ago. I’m about 10 weeks along.” She said with a bright smile and Y/N cooed, “We haven’t told anyone though! We’ve been trying to keep it under wraps a bit since it’s your baby shower week and we didn’t want to steal your thunder with an announcement yet-”

“Oh my god, no! Don’t even worry about that.” Y/N giggled happily, “If you want to share it tonight at dinner with everyone please do! We’ve got some news of our own to share so it’ll be nice to share this with your family while they’re all here.” Y/N assured.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! This is great news, Aly.” Y/N insisted.

“Oh, thank you so much. I’ve been trying so hard not to talk about it.” She confessed through a laugh and Y/N shook her head as she giggled.

“Oh no, this is such big news! But I promise, it’s not a problem with me and I’m sure Harry won’t mind either.” She assured her and she thanked her again, feeling relieved.

“I’ll let Nathan know, he’s been shooting me tortured looks all morning just from looking at the baby stuff.” She said and Y/N pouted.

“Awww, poor guy. He must be so excited.”

“Yeah, he’s over the moon.” She said with a happy smile, “What’s your news? You’re not having twins are you?” She asked and Y/N’s eyes widened and she shook her head quickly.

“Good God, no!” She laughed and Alyssa burst into laughter as well at her response, “Harry’s got this thing where each week he’ll tell me the size of the baby and like it’s so sweet, he gets really excited about it. But this morning he let me know that baby is the size of a large aubergine and I started to panic.” She confessed and Alyssa looked concerned.

“Isn’t that like birthing size already?” She asked in shock.

“Right?! Like if he’s already that big and I’ve still got 12 freaking weeks to go… I don’t even want to know how big the baby will get after today!” She giggled and Alyssa nodded as well.

“Oh god… well, for selfish reasons I’m really glad we’re pregnant at the same time so that I have someone to gripe about this with.” She said and Y/N nodded through a smile.

“Oh definitely! Also, since my aunt Julie had cancer for several years I’ve got tons of natural remedies to help with nauseas and other weird symptoms you might have if you ever need it. Never in my life have I been more grateful for having to look after her and look into all of this stuff because it’s really helped with the pregnancy.”

“Oh I can imagine… is she alright now, your aunt?”

“Yeah, she’s in remission now.” Y/N smiled as she confirmed that and Alyssa looked relieved.

“That’s really great. I’m happy to hear it.”

“Thank you.” Y/N smiled, “Ummm, but our news is just sharing what we’ve decided to name the baby.” She disclosed softly.

“Oh, what’s it gonna be?” Alyssa asked with curious and excited eyes.

“Ummm, we’re naming him after your grandfather, Charlie, well Charles.” She said and Alyssa’s eyes softened at the news.

“Really?” She asked softly, trying to keep her voice down.

“Yeah. Harry has always talked about him to me and I know they were so close.” she said and Alyssa nodded, “And well, I’ve gotten rather close to your grandmother over the last few months being here and it just seemed like the best thing.” She said with a smile.

“Oh, everyone’s gonna love it! I know Gemma really wanted to name Archie that, but she let Skye pick the first name and she got the middle name and decided to give him Marc after their dad. She’s still a bit annoyed at Skye for naming their son Archibald but…what can we do now?” She giggled and Y/N laughed softly.

“Right…I mean he can always change it when he’s older if he hates it!”

“That’s true…” Alyssa laughed softly. “Look, I know you’re probably sick and tired of hearing the same thing from everyone, but really thank you so much for being patient with Harry and giving him a chance.” She said, “He’s literally the best person I’ve ever known and for a long time we all thought that he would just wither away. Like…we missed him, but it was also good to not have to see him the way he was. And we had also accepted that he would probably never come back from America…” she said and Y/N frowned, “It was really bad, Y/N. The person he is right now, that person didn’t exist for years.” She explained, “I think that’s why we all love you so much, he’s got his spark back.” She explained.

“Yeah, but he’s worked hard on himself too. I’ve believed in him all this time and stayed by his side, but I can’t take credit for the person he’s always been, that’s all him.” She said to Alyssa, “He also helped me a lot, so I think we just…found each other at the right time.”

“Well, whatever it was, we’re just all really grateful for you and we wish you both all the best. S’one of the reasons why we decided to hold off on the news of our baby because H deserves to be celebrated and to have his time, especially when he’s finally living a life with everything he’s ever wanted.”

“Well, I do appreciate your consideration with that, but I promise you he’ll be really excited for you as well.”

“I’m hoping for a boy, so that would work out really well with your baby!” She smiled, “If they’re close in age they’ll be like each other’s siblings. Don’t know if I’ll want to do this again after hearing the aubergine thing.” She confessed and Y/N laughed.

“That was my exact thought this morning!” She admitted.

She had fluttered back outside shortly after her chat with Aly, she was playing hostess and Harry had been really sweet, encouraging her to just sit down and relax, but she just wanted to make sure everything was going perfectly. They did a little gift opening thing and they thanked everyone for showing up and soon they were starting to clean up. She was quite exhausted if she were to be honest and her back was aching something awful from all the walking around. She had just leaned against the wall for a second to let the ache subside but soon she felt Harry behind her as he hugged her and smushed his cheek to her head.

“Baby, please take a break. You’ve been fluttering around all morning!” He said and she sighed.

“Of course, I’ve been hosting! And I didn’t want to keep interrupting you with your friends and family.” She said and he tutted.

“Yeah, but you should’ve, it’s our party, love. You can’t do it all, you’ve gotta take it easy, you can say you’re fine but you look exhausted. I appreciate you wanting to give me time with my family and friends, but not at your expense, my love.” He reprimanded her very gently and she sighed.

“I am pretty winded.” She admitted through a smile and he sighed and shook his head, “But I don’t get to do anything all day so I’m also taking advantage, OK?”

“Sure thing.” He said softly before kissing her cheek. He straightened her out a bit and she winced, “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?” He was quickly before her and assessing any visible part of her.

“Nothing, s’just our giant eggplant-sized baby is a little heavy.” She said, “Kinda hurts to stand up straight.”

“Babe.” He frowned, “let me get you upstairs so you can lie down for a bit-”

“Harry, it’s fine.” Y/N giggled, “It’s just a bit sore. Comes with the territory.”

“Yeah, because you’ve been doing too much. They can handle cleaning up-”

“But that’s not fair-“

“They understand, babe. C’mon, let’s go.” He insisted and started guiding her to the staircase, “I’m gonna pick you up-”

“Don’t you dare!” She laughed as they reached the bottom of the stairs, “If you misstep the three of us will get really hurt.” She reminded with caution in her eyes.

“You’re right…let’s go slow then.”

“I’d rather get up there faster than take five minutes to get up there.” She said and he sighed.

“You’re being stubborn.”

“Harry, I know my limits. It’s fine.” She assured him and he sighed.

“Fine. Up you go.” He said starting to walk her up with a hand at her lower back. The warmth from his hand there was helping a bit and when they finally made it into their bedroom he helped her lay down and even put one of the throw pillows under her legs to even out her spine. She was still really tense as she was slightly struggling to just relax, she knew it would ache when she relaxed, but she finally just surrendered to it and she winced as all of her weight just rested onto the bed and her body took several moments to adjust. “Should I get the hot water bottle or give you a little back rub?” He asked her and she hummed with her eyes still squeezed shut.

“A little back rub sounds nice.” She said and he smiled.

“OK. Let me just let everyone know we’re up here.” He said and she hummed and he hurried out. She did kind of hate this, she knew it would only get worse from here on out. Maybe she should relocate to the guest bedroom downstairs and also buy herself one of those maternity pillows. She was starting to regret telling Harry it was a stupid purchase, but it was just so expensive for no reason at all. Harry was only gone a couple of minutes before he came back and settled into their bed beside her and rubbed at her lower back with his warm hands.

“Thank you, baby.” She hummed tiredly.

“Of course, my love.” He whispered and then a silence fell between them for a moment, “Can I tell you a secret?” He asked.

“Of course. Always! I love secrets!” She grinned and he chuckled.

“Nathan accidentally let it slip to me that Aly’s pregnant.” He said and she smiled.

“Oh my god, I know! 10 weeks! She told me earlier.” Y/N beamed.

“Really? He said she was trying to keep it a secret for a bit more.”

“Yeah, but she was nauseous and we got to talking and she just came out with it.” Y/N said, “I told her to announce it while a good chunk of the family is here.”

“I told Nathan the same thing. He was gonna talk to her.” He said and she giggled.

“Love that we thought the same thing. I think it’ll just be another little thing to make this day special. She’s so sweet, didn’t want to take the attention off of our day, but I assured her it was perfectly fine. It’s wonderful news.” She said and Harry hummed in agreement.

“I love you so much, you know that?”

“Mhmmm, you tell me every day.”

“And if I ever forget to, you have my permission to put me back in line.” He joked and she giggled.

“You know, even if you don’t say it I still feel it. Like it’s in the way you look at me or talk to me…I don’t think I’ve ever felt like you’ve not shown it to me before.”

“That makes me happy.” He said, “I feel it too.” He added in and she smiled.

“Good. I told Aly about our announcement too. She was really happy about that. I’m really happy she’s also having a baby, we’ll have plenty of things to talk about and bond over. And you know, I was thinking that if Aly has a little boy too then maybe we can just have the one, you know?”

“Just one?!” He asked with a chuckle and she giggled.

“Baby, as much as this has been such a special experience, I don’t know if I’d want to do this again. It’s been…lovely but also…like having a baby can’t be a fun thing.” She confessed and he chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s probably true.” He hummed, “And really it’s whatever you want, I’d make fifteen babies with you if you wanted them!” He said and she squeaked out a sound that made him laugh, “But if one’s enough for you, then that’s fine with me too. S’not like I’m doing any of the heavy lifting.” He said as he stroked over her belly with his other hand.

“Thank you for understanding. But like I said, if Aly ends up having a little girl we can try for another one and hope for a little brother for baby Charlie.” She said and he smiled and she gasped as she was suddenly on her back and Harry kissed her deeply.

“Yeah… but we’d have to have them quickly.” He said and she giggled.

“How quickly?”

“If we can have them share a nursery that’d be ideal. Like 11 to 14 months apart would be good.” He said and she laughed.

“Not even gonna give me a break…” she sighed and he chuckled and then Y/N winced again, “Ow…fuck…” she whined.

“S’the matter?”

“This child is kicking around and got lodged up on my side.” She winced and rubbed over her side for a bit until the baby repositioned itself.

“S’kinda gross if you think about it…he’s just hanging out in there, swimming around…”

“Yeah, it really is.” She giggled along with him.

“OK, m’gonna shut up now and let you have a nap.” He said and she giggled as he helped get her back onto her side and he continued rubbing her lower back until she had fallen asleep.

“Hi darling, dinner’s going to be ready and served in about 15 minutes.” Y/N heard Anne’s voice gently rousing her.

“Oh god, what time is it?” She asked groggily.

“S’ about 6:30.”

“Oh great, not gonna sleep tonight.” She said with a tired huff and Anne chuckled, “I think you’ll be alright, the more and more the baby grows the more exhausted you’ll be.” She assured. “Do you need me to pull you up?” She asked.

“Please.” Y/N said and Anne smiled as she helped her sit up. “I’m just gonna freshen up really quick.”

“Do you want me to wait and help you get down the stairs?”

“It’s alright, I can still manage.” Y/N assured and Anne nodded and headed out of their bedroom. Of course, Y/N’s mascara had smudged at her lower lash lines and her made up skin had gotten a bit oily and splotchy, so she started to clean that up and once she finished she realized that she had a stain on her shirt and headed into her and Harry’s closet to grab another top. She had just thrown hers into the hamper when Harry came into the closet.

“There you are.” He said and she smiled.

“Yeah, sorry just changing my top, had food dripped on mine.” She explained as she looked through her hangers to find something else.

Harry just took her in for a moment because she was absolutely gorgeous. Her body was a definitely a masterpiece before she was pregnant and he was so excited to get that version of her back so that he could do all of the wild things he’d been dying to do to her but couldn’t because of her current, fragile state. But seeing her like this, glowing and pregnant with his baby no less…it only made him marvel at her and love her more, but it also did things to him that he’d never felt before. In a way, it fed his ego, knowing that he did that to her. He was responsible for her and their baby, it swelled him with pride and with a ferocious and completely unconditional need for her. He felt a bit misogynistic for it sometimes, but how could he not find her so fucking sexy when she was literally carrying the most perfect product of their love for each other? He knew it wasn’t her sole purpose, but her body had literally been built to withstand all of it and then some! It just left him in complete awe of her every time he thought of it.

“What?” She asked upon feeling his intense stare and he blinked a few times as he smiled.

“You look incredible.” His voice was so gentle and sincere as he complimented her and she smiled bashfully. She loved when he’d do this because she didn’t feel incredible a lot of the time now. She felt big and slow and tired. “So fucking perfect.” He said as he stepped closer to her and grabbed her face gently but kissed her hungrily. Y/N felt her entire body tingle at his sudden romantic gesture. Harry’s tongue pushed into her mouth as he brought his hands to her bottom, groping her as he pushed her closer to him. He was so fucking hard and she sighed breathily as she got her hand in between them to rub him through his jeans. Moments later she brought her other hand over to start undoing his button and fly. “Mmmwhat…what’re you doing?” He whispered.

“Need to make you come.” She said and he moaned softly as she reached into his briefs to pull his cock out.

“Shit, baby they’re gonna be waiting for us-”

“Not if you come quickly.” She said and he chuckled breathily as she started stroking his cock between their bodies. “Fuck, you’re already so fucking hard for me.” She panted breathily.

“Yeah, you get me so worked up, baby.” He grinned down at her and she smiled and tiptoed to kiss him quickly before nuzzling her nose to his. Harry moaned as he watched her slip her hand down the front of her leggings and she rubbed her fingers back and forth a few times before she drew them back out and wrapped them around his cock again, all slick and warm with her own arousal and he sighed at the smooth glide of her strokes now that his cock was lubricated with her arousal.

“S’this OK?” She whispered.

“A little faster, my love…shit, just like that.” He sighed in relief as she set a new pace and he leaned further into her, gasping as she gently squeezed around the head, “Fuck, baby…fuck!” He groaned lowly and soon she started gliding up and down his shaft again with a tighter fist and his abs started to clench and his fingers dug into her ass hard.

“Gonna come for me, baby?” She asked softly and he nodded with his eyes squeezed shut, “Good boy, wanna see you shoot out a nice, big load for me.” She encouraged him and he moaned again.

“Fuck babygirl, I’ll give you so much fucking cum. Just keep going like that I’m so fucking close.” He grunted as quietly as possible as he started to thrust into her fist as well. Every time he’d buck up his tip would collide with the bottom of her belly and he looked forward to the short moment of friction before he’d pull back and do it again. It was the steady flicker of pleasure that was building him up at a rapid pace. He started going a bit harder and he started to lose his mind.

“Y/N, Harry? Are two still in here?” They heard Anne calling them and Harry bit his lip to keep his noises in and Y/N grinned up at him and squeezed tighter around his cock and his eyes rolled back as his head dropped back and accidentally knocked loudly into one of the thin panels of a cabinet in their closet.

“He’s jus helping me get changed!” Y/N called out and Harry started to tremble.

“Oh fuck…Oh fuck…” he panted quietly and she smirked.

“Shhhh…shhhhh!” She warned through a quiet giggle.

“Alright, we’re all ready down there.” Anna announced.

“OK, thank you!” Y/N called and just then Harry let out a groan and her hand flew up to cover his mouth as he moaned into it. She could feel his warm cum shooting out against her belly and down her fist as she started to ease up on her strokes, he followed her speed with his hips as he started to get worked up even more. She remove her hand from his mouth as his orgasm had passed but he sighed.

“Fuck, I wanna be inside you.” He said as he continued thrusting into her fist slowly, “Can’t wait ’til we have the house to ourselves.” He said and she smirked up at him and then kissed the underside of his jaw. He sighed as they finally stopped and he pulled her hand up and licked his cum off of it before dipping down to kiss her. Y/N immediately opened her mouth as he smeared his cum-slicked tongue into hers, both of them moaned at his taste and then they pulled away quickly before they got further carried away.

“Love you.”

“Love you.” He smiled. He then hurried to the hamper and grabbed her t-shirt from earlier to wipe his sperm from her tummy. She was quick to get a tank top on and then Harry helped her get into one of his cardigans before they headed down stairs. Dinner was delicious and they were all chattering away, Aly made sure that they were sure about letting her announce her pregnancy and Y/N reassured her about it once again. So after everyone seemed to have finished eating Harry smiled at Y/N before he stood up, instantly commanding everyone’s attention.

“Y/N and I just really want to thank you all for showering us with so much love and support today. Well every day actually since we’ve moved back. I think it’s so incredible how we always show up for each other with so much love and patience and kindness. And uh, moments like this are sometimes a bit bittersweet because…well, dad’s not here, nor is grandad. But I think that we’re honoring them and their fierce sense of responsibility to their family by being here for each other. And ummm…we want to keep their legacies alive and well as you know, the baby is coming in a few short months and so we’ve been busy with everything that has to do with that. And well, Y/N and I recently made an important decision about the baby and we wanted to share that with you all while we have you here.” He said and smiled down at her in her seat and she nodded, urging him to go on. Everyone was looking on with anticipation.

“Ummm, we want to share with you all what we’ve decided to name our son.” He said and everyone gasped in excitement or cooed in endearment, “So ummm, his name is Charles Julian,” he said glancing to Julie who chuckled as her eyes brimmed with tears, “Styles.” His family all cooed as he smiled at Y/N and then at everyone else as they cheered at the news. Hillary was crying tears of joy as Anne hugged her mother and then he and Y/N went over to her for a moment to just hug her, “Alright, that was it. Now ummm, we’re gonna turn it over to Nathan and Aly.” He grinned and everyone gasped as he said this and they stood up with big smiles.

“We’re gonna have a baby!” Aly announced with no hesitation and the biggest smile as Nathan held up a photo of the first sonogram. Everyone started cheering some more and Aly’s parents went over and congratulated them and for the rest of the evening everyone was just smiling from ear to ear.

**********

It had been a few days since the party and Y/N was still having issues with her back. She had evidently outdone herself and now couldn’t sleep from the ache that just didn’t allow her to get comfortable despite the muscle relaxant gel Harry had so kindly rubbed into her lower back before bed. She was so quiet as she got out of bed and slipped her cold feet into her fuzzy slippers as she headed downstairs slowly, her phone’s flashlight lighting her way down. She had a very particular craving and thankfully, Julie had smuggled in the goods; several bags of Y/N’s beloved and most missed snack, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Sure they, were available for order in some shops around London but they were outrageously overpriced as they were a delicacy in these parts. She had them hidden somewhere Harry never looked because he would give her so much shit for it, but right now that’s all she wanted.

She wanted the deliciously spicy (but definitely unhealthy) flavored powder tickling her tastebuds once again. Her mouth literally watered as she carefully hoisted herself up onto the step stool they had placed in there to help her reach the higher cabinets when he was gone and she pulled out one of their empty kitchen appliance boxes and she retrieved one of the snack-sized baggies from inside because even she knew that overindulging wasn’t a good move. As soon as she pried the bag open she inhaled the spicy scent of the chips and hummed happily as she leaned against the counter as she started to eat the chips. She was taking it slow, savoring each and every one. All was right with the world until Harry walked in with slightly squinted eyes and then he shook his head as she completely froze right before she tossed another Cheeto into her mouth. His lips turned up in a smirk as he came closer and bit it out of her fingers.

“Really?” He asked through his chewing and she smiled.

“Oh hush, I’ve been so good.” She said to him and he hummed and went in for another one, “Nuh-uh! Get your own.” She said and he smiled at her, “These are for the baby.” She hummed as she reached into the little bag and he scoffed.

“That’s not gonna hold up tonight.” He said as he snatched the bag from her and grabbed a few Cheetos before plopping them into his own mouth. She scowled at him as he munched away at them happily, “I genuinely miss these.” He admitted.

“How do you think I feel? These were like a whole food group for me!”

“Yeah, I know…” he chuckled.

“When I was younger I would eat them with nacho cheese-”

“That sounds like a stomach ache.”

“Oh, for sure! But it’s well worth it.” She assured and he sniggered quietly. “Are you gonna be one of those psycho granola parents because if you are, I’m telling you right now, I will sneak our child the goods behind your back.” She warned and he scoffed.

“That’s fucked up.”

“What’s fucked up is depriving your child of the joy of sweets and junk. Like obviously, s’not gonna be his primary diet, but every now and again we can have junk foods and candies and stuff, not just on special occasions. Like I think it’s smart to feed them mostly healthy food until they start socializing with other kids. My mom tried to be one of those organic, no chemicals moms and as soon as I got to pre-K they would feed us fruit snacks and give us juice boxes and cupcakes for other kids’ birthdays…I would overdo it and be all cracked out on sugar and eventually learned to stash my halloween candy so that I could ration it out for a rainy day.” She recalled and he chuckled.

“Yeah, I definitely don’t want anything like that. But I do think we should set good examples for our son, most importantly showing them balance. That’s all it is for me, just a good balance of each thing.” He assured.

“Why don’t you let me have balance then?” She pouted and he chuckled.

“Oh shut it!” he squinted his eyes at her unfathomable gall, “I know my gran sneaks you Jaffa cakes every day.” He said and Y/N burst into laughter, “And don’t think I’m oblivious to the location of your hot Cheeto stash.” He said with a knowing grin, “I’ve sussed you out.” He smirked at her through a laugh and she sighed.

“Well, I appreciate that you’ve let me believe I’ve been getting away with it this whole time.” She said to him and he smiled.

“Course, baby. Y’deserve it after everything you’re doing for our little baby.” He said with a soft smile.

“I don’t ever want to lie to you, I just felt like you might get on my ass about it and I figured it was just a little, white lie. Nothing harmful, you know?”

“Well I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to lie and sneak around just to have some processed snacks!” He exclaimed with a chuckle and she swore her entire heart just burst with adoration for him.

“I love you so much.” She said softly and he pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“I love you so, so much.” He hummed against her soft skin, “Is your back still bugging you?”

“Yeah. The gel stuff helped for a little bit, but it wore off fast.” She explained, “I was thinking that it might be a good idea for us to move down to the guest room in a few weeks.”

“Yeah, we can get set up down here.” Harry assured, “And baby, these next few days please slow down until the back thing subsides a bit, yeah?”

“I will. I promise. Your gran and I have been talking about her teaching me how to knit.”

“Oh really? A proper granny hobby for you?” He teased and she giggled.

“Yeah. I bought a pattern to make a little knitted Hedwig.” She pouted in endearment and Harry smiled.

“When does it arrive?”

“A week or two. So she’s gonna be teaching me some of the basics these next few weeks and then we’ll get to the owl.”

“Baby, I absolutely love how much you include her in things. You always do things with her that make her excited to come see you. Mum says she’s been a lot happier lately. Like, not that she wasn’t happy overall, but she did dim down a bit after my grandad passed, you know?”

“I can imagine. But ummm, yeah I have a lot of fun with her. I think we’re helping each other a lot.” She said and Harry smiled.

“I’m glad, baby.” He said and kissed her lips quickly, “Have you spoken to Julie at all about your parents?” He asked and she sighed.

“Nope. Don’t want to. I’m doing so well and I’m so happy right now with everything we’ve got going on, don’t need someone taking a crap in my cornflakes, you know?” Upon hearing this expression Harry burst into laughter and Y/N soon joined him, which definitely helped lighten the mood as they delved into this heavier topic. Once their laughter settled he tucked some hair behind her ear and sighed as he just took her in with the most loving gaze, “Have you talked to Julie about it?” She asked and Harry hummed and nodded to confirm.

“Yeah, for a bit.” He said and she sighed, “I can tell you if you want?” He asked and she bit her lip. It made Harry’s heart hurt for her because she looked so afraid and nervous to hear about anything related to her parents. And well, he couldn’t tell her that they said they were sorry or wanted to be part of her life. As much as he wished he could relay that message, it wasn’t it.

“It can’t be good if you’re asking if I want to hear it.” She said and he sighed.

“Well, it’s not bad either, it’s just…maybe what you’d expect I think.” He said to her and she nodded.

“OK, tell me.” She said.

“Your mum called Julie after getting your letters because obviously, she couldn’t reach you. She was a bit upset that you decided to leave without giving them a proper goodbye or not bothering to tell them about the pregnancy when we found out. Julie said she wasn’t mad, she was just more hurt than anything.” He said and she sighed, “Julie explained that they had made it abundantly clear that they wanted nothing to do with us and you didn’t want to risk sharing all that good news with them just for them to be so openly unsupportive.” Y/N nodded as Harry explained this, “That led to her getting angry and blaming Julie for creating distance between your family because you had never been this selfish and inconsiderate before you moved in with her. Julie knows she was just lashing out because she’s sad and hurt.” He explained as Y/N frowned upon hearing this.

“She then said that you were making your dad sick with stress because you got married without his blessing and she had no idea how she was supposed to tell him that you’re pregnant and have moved to another country altogether. I mean, it’s nothing new from what they always say.”

“Yeah.” She sniffled as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Julie said she got so annoyed at her that she just hung up and blocked her number.” Harry said and Y/N sniggered through her tears, “She didn’t even tell them she left too so ummm…she wonders if they might show up one day and just find that she’s gone too.”

“God, I fucking hope so. And I hope they realize that now they’re all alone.” Y/N said with an ill-intended smile, “I want nothing to do with them, Harry.”

“Baby, you don’t mean that.”

“Right now I do!” She said and he nodded.

“OK.” He said softly.

“I want the rest of my pregnancy to be good and peaceful, like it has been the whole time we’ve been here. It’s been so good here, I don’t even want to think of them.” She insisted and Harry nodded.

“OK, we won’t.This is our family, OK? We can build it and grow it however the fuck we want. And as long as we’re not like…joining a cult or something completely out of pocket like that,” he said and she giggled, “My family won’t meddle or try to change things.” He assured.

“It’s OK if they do. I mean, if it’s gonna help our family be like your family then I want that.” She said and he smiled and reached for her face, wiping her tear stains with his thumb.

“I hope our son is like you. So strong, and open, and brave.” He said quietly and she just surged forward and hugged him tight.

“Ughh, I love you so much.” She sniffled and Harry smiled as he rubbed her back gently, “I hope our son looks like you though because I’ve done those gender swapping filters and I do not make an even remotely decent-looking guy.” She confessed and she pulled back to look at him as he chuckled.

“You’re perfect.” He tutted.

“As a female-presenting person, yes! I agree, I’m so cute!” She stated with certainty and he chuckled, “But as a male-presenting person…ehhh…it was…a jump scare.” She giggled and he laughed and shook his head.

“I love that you know your limits.” He said and she laughed loudly at his response.

“Baby?”

“Yes, my love?” He asked pulling back to see her better.

“You’re literally my favorite person ever. It’s not lost on me how lucky I am to get to do all of this with you.”

“Oh hush…” he said warding off her compliment and she tutted.

“Baby, it’s the truth. Acknowledge it!” She insisted and he smiled bashfully as he looked into her eyes.

“We’re both so fucking lucky to be doing this with each other. That’s all you’re getting.” He said and she smiled.

“When are you just going to be a little bit cocky about something, H?” She huffed.

“I pulled you, didn’t I? M’very cocky about that. And well, if our son looks like me, specially after what you’ve just told me, I’ll definitely be cocky about that.” He said and she burst into laughter and playfully slapped his chest as he laughed along with her, “I am serious, though.”

“Trust me, I know.” She assured and he grinned smugly, “Alright, ready to head back up?”

“Yeah, c’mon.” He hummed as he grabbed her now empty Cheeto bag and tossed it in the garbage before walking them back up to their bedroom. They brushed their teeth again and were soon cuddled up in their bed, sleep seeming far away now that they had been up for a bit.

“Baby, I have a small request.” She whispered.

“What is it?”

“From this week onward, please don’t tell me what object or food size our baby is. It’s really starting to freak me out.” She confessed through a giggle and he chuckled and kissed her forehead.

“OK, I won’t. I promise.” He said and she sighed in relief, “I’m just really excited, didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“I know you did it with good intentions, babe.” She assured him, “I just feel like if I have a visual of like how big it’ll be I’ll feel like I can’t do it when the time comes, you know?” She explained quietly and well this made Harry frown when he fully understood her point of view. It made so much sense, sometimes ignorance truly is bliss!

“Yeah, see I never thought of it in those terms. I was just excited that our baby is becoming a baby, you know? I’m sorry if I made you feel nervous or incapable with that, I really hadn’t even thought of what that would make you feel-”

“It’s OK. I mean, I hadn’t really been thinking about it like that until the whole eggplant thing.” She assured with a little giggle and he sniggered as well, “That one did start to freak me out. Like…how?” She asked and he sighed.

“I really don’t know, but I mean, clearly it’s possible.”

“Well I know that, like I get it, but like… your vagina is one thing, obviously very stretchy, but the cervix…mmmm, I don’t know how? Like the circumference of a baby’s head isn’t just 10 centimeters, but that seems to work out, I just never thought of it as like…stretchy.” she expressed her doubt through an unsure little hum and he literally stopped breathing for a moment.

“Wait, what has your cervix got to do with anything?”

“Baby, the cervix is what dilates, s’the first thing the baby comes through.” She reiterated and he sat up.

“No.” He said flatly.

“Yeah, H!” She chuckled.

“But it’s so tiny…s’just a tiny little thing!” he said with concern.

“I know, hence the reason I’m freaking out…” she stated as he laid back down.

“I’m so sorry…you poor thing.” He said monotonously and she burst into laughter.

“Yeah, s’pretty fucked up.” She said to him and he shook his head, still in complete disbelief. He was deeply disturbed now, he was so confident that he knew how all of this worked, but he had never really bothered with understanding the internal mechanics of it all and now he truly did feel bad for her.

“It is. OK, so one baby is perfectly fine, love. I don’t want you to have to do that ever again now that I know that…fuck.” He huffed and she giggled, “And well, with that knowledge in mind I might actually pass out…” he confessed and she sighed.

“Good god, Harry…”

“I’m an empath!” He defended and she laughed quietly at him, “Don’t laugh…it’s gonna be harder than I realized to have to-”

“Don’t even go there. It’ll be a cake walk for you.” She said and he sighed.

“Sorry…maybe I just don’t have to watch it happen. I mean, I’d want to, but maybe it’s not a good idea.”

“Definitely not if you’re going to pass out.” She giggled, “I’ll need you fully conscious. Don’t think I could do it without you.” She said.

“Fuck, and now I feel bad for getting you pregnant.” He said softly and she knew he was mostly joking, but a part of him did feel bad that this was going to be a lot more intense than he had realized and they fell silent for a few moments until he spoke up again, “Are you sure it’s the cervix?” He asked and she laughed.

“Baby, how did you think this happened? Obviously the baby is not just like chilling in the…canal!” She said and he burst into laughter.

“Obviously! But like… I don’t know what I thought happened…” he mumbled and she grabbed one of his hands and kissed it.

“Well, now you know.” She said and he sighed.

“Much to my chagrin.” He mumbled and she giggled, “Hopefully he’s a tiny baby.”

“I don’t think the size really matters unless they’re over the normal range, like a 12 pound baby or something monstrous like that…you’ll still have to open the same for even a tiny baby.” she concluded.

“What? 12 pounds?!” she’d never heard him sound so English in her life, it made her start to laugh at the thickness of his accent, even his tone of shock was somehow super English, “That cannot be real.” he exclaimed in horror as she trembled with laugher.

“Oh, it’s very real.” She assured.

“No, babe…” he whined with a grimace surely on his face, “That’s so fucking awful…”

“I’m sure it is.” She agreed “Any other questions you might have about where babies come from?” She asked playfully.

“No. I definitely have enough information on this to last me a lifetime.” He assured with an evident feeling of concern in his tone and she giggled.

…. MAY …

On the days that Aly was feeling too queasy and sick due to her pregnancy she’d head on over to Y/N and Harry’s to hang out with her and her grandmother. True to Hillary’s word, she was teaching the two how to knit and well, Y/N was a bit impatient for not being able to go fast like Hillary, but she was at least precise about it. And well, getting to bond with Aly was also really nice and well, for the most part they would talk about what would be going on I everyone’s lives, it wasn’t gossip, it was just a recounting of information is what Hillary would say because she thought gossiping was very ugly and Y/N and Alyssa couldn’t agree more.

“-but regardless of what he says, Mr. Jones did in fact eat the neighbor’s takeaway! And that’s why Harry’s going to be over early on Sunday to help install one of those cameras.” Hillary shared with the girls before she slurped up some of her Pho. She’d never had it before until she tried it with Y/N and now she was hooked, it was sweet really.

“Do you really think Harry can install a camera?” Aly asked and Y/N giggled, “No offense to your husband’s skill set.” She said and Y/N shook her head.

“No you’re fine, I was thinking the same thing.” She said softly.

“Oh, he’s young and smart! He’ll figure it out.” Hillary said.

“Gran, Harry is so technologically challenged!” Aly said through a giggle.

“It’s true, I had to do his assignments for his Procreate certificate.” Y/N added in.

“Oh god, should he even be tattooing then?” Aly asked and Y/N giggled.

“I mean, he just does all his stencils and designs on paper. He really hates virtual art.” She said and Aly nodded. “You should’ve seen when he learned about ChatGPT, he literally would not stop going on about it for days!”

“What on earth is a ChatGPT?” Hillary interjected.

“Artificial Intelligence, gran. AI!” Aly explained briefly and Hillary’s eyes widened.

“Already?! In my lifetime?”

“I think it’s really cool.” Aly said.

“I mean it is, but I think as a person in a creative field it does take away people’s integrity, it’s like taking the easy way out. So I do agree that it can be a great tool, but we need to moderate it before it like…gains too much consciousness and we’re in a live action Avengers film or something.”

“I wouldn’t mind that all too much…that Chris Hemsworth is dreamy isn’t he?” Hillary said and Y/N and Ally giggled.

“What in the world are you still doing here?” Harry suddenly asked as he burst in through the garage door startling all three of them.

“Announce yourself y’bugger!” Hillary scolded him with a pout as Harry kissed the top of her head with a mischievous grin as he went around to Aly and greeted her next.

“What are you guys chatting about?” He asked as he then came over to Y/N and dipped down to kiss her lips, “Hi, my love.” He mumbled against her lips.

“We were talking about how shit you are with technology since gran said you’re installing some cameras at theirs.” Aly said and he immediately pulled away.

“Ummm, no I’m not.” He scoffed.

“Please Harry, you’re completely inept. I know about your procreate assignments.” Aly said with a smirk and he turned back to Y/N with a pout.

“How could you?” He asked her with feigned insult and she smirked.

“Not to mention you’ll be working with the home’s electrical! Are you sure you don’t want to have someone professional come and install it, gran? What if you’re out of power for a week because this idiot fucks a fuse or-”

“Oh hush, leave my handsome boy alone.” Hillary said to Aly and Harry rounded the table back over to her and knelt down to hug her all while flipping Aly off and she just rolled her eyes. When Hillary saw she joined him, demonstrating her own obscene gesture.

“Well, that’s my cue to go.” Aly said through a giggle and Y/N chuckled as well.

This was Harry’s last week of work at the shop and as much as he loved being in the shop, he was excited to get to spend these final stages of the pregnancy with Y/N. Y/N was at 31 weeks now and getting far too big for comfort and she just constantly needed more help than what Hillary could give her at the moment. While it was in Julie’s plans to help take care of Y/N as she got closer to her due date, it was also summertime and Anne’s flower shop had been immensely busy with a variety of events, almost back to back some weeks, so Julie was recruited for that because Anne really couldn’t do all this on her own. Thankfully, Aly’s wedding had put her on the map with some of her friends and those friends told their friends and so she’d experienced an uptick in demand that she couldn’t pull off on her own, so Julie was enlisted to help. And really, ever since she’d arrived Y/N hadn’t seen Julie as much as she expected, she was acclimating really well and she supposed it was because there really hadn’t been anything tying her down to the U.S. anymore.

As they had discussed a few weeks prior, they had moved down a bunch of her stuff to the guest room because getting up all those steps was brutal. And well, of course Harry slept down there with her, so she wasn’t all alone. She heard him coming back in from having taken Hillary back to Anne’s and she was just lotion-ing up her tummy and hips and well, her boobs as well because they were starting to grow a bit more and they were getting rather itchy and sore with the process. Harry just happened to walk in on her about to do that and he just smirked at here with lustful eyes. She had just come out of the shower and she had gotten her shorts on, but she needed to get this done before getting her top on, it was just easier that way.

“Perfect timing.” He said as he walked into the ensuite and immediately washed his hands and she laughed softly. He was thorough with his washing and then dried them off, “I’d love to help.” He said as he came and sat beside her on the bed.

“I’m sure you would.” She said with a grin and he chuckled as he pulled her out into the bedroom.

“Do they hurt?” He asked as she handed over the little jar of lotion, it’s one that Gemma swore by and well, it had been helpful thus far. But also her growth had been rather consistent thus far, but she knew that towards the tail end she would probably blow up and inevitably get stretch marks, but she’d do as much preventative work as possible as futile as it seemed.

“Just a little bit, nothing I’m not used to so far.” She assured and he hummed as he dipped two fingers into the lotion before spreading it in his palms as he shuffled around to sit behind her and she just let her weight back against him as he kissed her bare shoulder before reaching beneath her arms and gently taking a hold of each breast and starting to lather the moisturizer in.

“Oh…they do feel bigger.” He mused.

“Yeah, I’ve definitely gone over just one cup size now.” She sighed. Harry was so gentle and delicate with her, of course her nipples peaked in his big, warm, veiny hands and as much as she wanted to let herself get turned on by this as much as he was getting turned on, she just wasn’t feeling it and she winced as he playfully pinched at her nipples. “No!” She frowned as she sniggered through a wince and he chuckled and did it again which made her reach down and pull at the hair on his thigh and he winced and let go to rub over the spot on his thigh. “Serves you right.”

“M’sorry, baby.” He apologized, “Just got a little too excited.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” She sighed.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful. I get really excited over the fact that we did this.” He said as his hands ran down to her bump. “And I know that it’s not easy by any means, so I just…admire you more and love you more for it.” He said quietly.

“I know, baby.” She hummed, “I have an appointment next Monday, 7 month check up.” She said.

“Okay, great! Can’t wait to see the little guy.” He said with a smile that she could hear in his voice.

“I know… and I was thinking that maybe with you around I can just be a bit more active than just walks with your gran.” She said and he smiled.

“Yeah, we can do that. A few light things, yeah?” He asked and she nodded, “Well lucky for you, I’ve actually been looking into this yoga class, it’s specifically for pregnant people. They meet three times a week in the evenings. Obviously, we don’t have to go every day if you don’t want, but it’d be something nice to do together.” He suggested and she nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’ve been too sedentary, apparently more exercise will help with my back pain. Seems counterproductive but, it’s science.” She said and he chuckled.

“Maybe you can learn some stretches for it or something. But I think it’d also be a good way for me to like get in tune with your body in terms of like the birthing part of everything. Apparently they show different poses as well, so you can find what’s comfortable.” He explained.

“Yeah, that sounds really nice actually. But I’m not all that bendy, m’sure it’s worse now but I’ll definitely try it out.” She responded and he smiled.

“We’ll work on the bendy thing down the line, don’t you fret.” He said and she giggled.

“That’s slightly terrifying.” She said and he chuckled.

“I promise you’ll like it.” He hummed confidently and she just smiled.

“Can you get my shirt please? If it’s not beside you it’s under you somewhere.” She said and he searched around for a moment before helping her get it on.

“There you are my queen.” He hummed and she shook her head.

“No. No, we’re not that king-queen couple.” She said as she just let herself fall back onto the bed. It took a lot of core strength she didn’t really have at the moment to be able to lay back in a controlled manner. Harry was laughing quietly beside her because he knew how cringey she found that.

“It just slipped out. I promise!” He chuckled and she grinned as he settled into the bed beside her.

“Just as long as I never have to hear that again.” She said and he laughed.

“Promise.”

***********

Y/N was now 32 weeks along and after his first week at home, Harry soon recognized that the routine Y/N had with his grandmother was not one that could easily be broken. Within the first few days at home everything that needed to be built and set up he’d taken care of. When he didn’t have that to do he tried to learn to knit with them, but they were at a much different skill level than him and he felt inferior. He knew logically, that it wasn’t a competition, but knitting was boring, so he had to do something to spice up the experience for himself and decided he could finish his wing before Y/N. And well, that resulted in a very deformed wing for the knitted Hedwig they were working on and Y/N had to redo his. When she finished it in about an hour after he’d been working on that for at least three hours, he decided that he would try and introduce new activities to the pair that would also be fun for him. If he was to be home, he also needed to have a good time, it was only fair.

“What if we go to the park and have a picnic today?” He asked them on this lovely morning. The weather was perfectly warm. During the last few days or so they’d been ranging anywhere from 23 to 26 degrees (mid 70’s to 80 in Fahrenheit). He figured Y/N wouldn’t mind this as being from California she was used to much more intense heat.

“Baby, that’s way too hot for me to be walking around and sitting in the sun right now. My body temp is already running a bit high according to the doctor.” She reminded.

“Oh c’mon, you’re used to much hotter. I know you can handle it.” He said with a grin before sipping on his coffee.

“Yeah, maybe I could when I was literally a third of the size I am now. I was sweating on my morning walk and it was only 70 degrees.” She said.

“She’s right, H. It’s easier for her to overheat and overexert herself with the extra weight from the baby and it’s not good for the baby if that happens. We’re in a heatwave, H.” His gran reminded.

“Well I don’t want to just sit around all day. I want to do something different today, just get out of the routine.” He reasoned.

“Well aren’t you two still doing that yoga or something in the evenings?” His grandmother asked.

“Yeah, but that’s part of the routine already.” He said. “Forgive me for wanting to spend some quality time with my wife and make memories with her.” He said with some snark and they both chuckled.

“If you want to go out so badly, go out and do something, H.” Y/N said and he frowned.

“Alone?” He asked as if she had suggested he fly himself to the moon.

“Baby, this is your hometown, you’ll be alright. It’s just getting really hard to move around and keep up with you. I just don’t have the energy to go and explore with you right now.” She explained and he huffed.

“M’just gonna go to the gym then.” He decided before finishing his coffee and heading upstairs to change. Harry’s feelings were hurt at her rejection to go out with him; he didn’t think he was asking for anything ridiculous. He went up to their bedroom to get changed and when he was heading back downstairs he saw her waiting at the foot of the staircase.

“Hey, I ummm…I feel like you’re upset that I didn’t want to go out with you.” She said and he shook his head in a fib.

“M’not, it’s whatever. You wanna spend time with my gran and-”

“Are you jealous of your grandma?” She asked with a grin and he chuckled.

“No. I just…thought we would be able to spend more time together is all. Just doing things that we enjoy doing.”

“I mean, we can have that picnic, just in the backyard?” She suggested and he sighed.

“Baby, the point of the picnic was to get out of here. I didn’t think we’d basically be prisoners in our home.” He explained how he felt and she pouted upon hearing that.

“Well, you’re not a prisoner, H.” She said softly as his words stung her heart a bit. He immediately sensed that he’d made her upset and shook his head.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He mumbled.

“Then what did you mean?” She questioned and he sighed, sensing that even his explanation wouldn’t get him out of this one.

“Just that it’s a little bit…slow being stuck in here all day. I don’t see why you can’t knit at the park or anywhere else, babe.”

“Harry, your explanation is not really making what you said better.” She said and he groaned.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that we’ve got just a few short weeks before the baby comes and I just feel like you don’t want to spend time with me. Clearly you have a well established routine that you refuse to budge on and if that’s the case then maybe I should’ve just waited until your due date to stop working. I mean…everything’s going to change for us soon and we won’t be able to do stuff together that don’t involve the baby for a long time.” He vented a bit and she sighed and tried not to roll her eyes because well, his feelings were his feelings. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t upset her and she was going to clear that up right now.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” She said with a frown, “But let me just enlighten you a bit though, H. Everything changed for me the moment I got pregnant.” She said, “I’ve been living a completely different life from day one! And in the state I’m in right now I can’t even picture myself having a good time anywhere outside of this house. It’s harder than you might think and like, I know you have your own needs but I feel like you’re being really dismissive of my needs right now.” She said.

“I don’t mean to be-”

“I know that, but you are. Like…at this stage more than ever, I feel like even my body is not my own anymore.” She sighed, “And you’re right, things will only change even more once the baby comes. Like our lives are not gonna be our own for a bit and it is a bit sad, but I don’t think it’ll feel like we missed out on life alone. It’s just going to be different and like…I’ve already had that crisis and made peace with it, so I need you to get past this because you’re projecting and it’s making me feel like I’m being a shitty partner to you when it really has nothing to do with me.” She said and he sighed.

“Well I can’t help how I feel, baby.” He said.

“I know that. Trust me, I do, I felt that way too at the start. And I’d give anything to be able to have the energy to do more outdoorsy things with you and make more of our time, but I just can’t right now. Like…I’m not sure what you expected from paternity leave, H. But it’s not a vacation, not in the slightest.” She said and he sighed.

“Cleary.” He mumbled, his feelings still hurt.

“You’ll have to find your own kind of routine to keep you occupied when you feel…like you’re trapped.” She said with a hint of spite and a frown. It was hurting her feelings that he felt stuck. That feeling would only get worse and worse the closer she got to her due date, more stress, more urgency, always on standby, it wasn’t going to be easy. It worried her that he would continue to feel stuck even after the baby came. Maybe they had moved too quickly? And before she knew it a lump was forming in her throat as her eyes brimmed with tears as this massive wave of anxiety washed over her.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” He asked quietly when he saw her tearful eyes.

“I just, ummm…realized that you said that being at home with me makes you feel like a prisoner. I don’t want you to feel that way with me.” She said with a sniffle and he pouted.

“Baby, it was a poor choice of words.” He said as he reached for her hands and she pulled them out of his reached and crossed them over her chest.

“The way you said them made me feel like you’ve been feeling that way for a bit. And like…this is only your second week at home.” She pointed out and he sighed. “If you hate it this much then maybe you can just do your own thing until I absolutely need you around-”

“Baby-”

“Don’t try to take back something that you sincerely meant, Harry.”

“I didn’t mean for it to hurt your feelings.”

“I know, but you have. Just…go find friends to hang out with or something, shake off the feeling. It’s fine, I know you didn’t have that intention. Just go get a breather.” She nodded.

“I feel like this is a trap.” He said and she sighed.

“Well I’m sure it’ll beat being caught in this trap.” She said and turned around and walked back to the kitchen. He sighed when he faintly heard her start sobbing in the kitchen and he just knew she’d really prefer some space right now and he would whip up a really big apology and make it up to her when he got back.

*********

Harry had the least productive workout of his life. He had quite literally been googling “how to make up with your pregnant wife after a fight” while he leisurely peddled on the stationary bike at the back of the cycling class he’d joined. What she had said about things changing for her from the start of the pregnancy, well obviously he knew things had been different physically, but he’d never considered that it may have taken a toll mentally before. It was painfully obvious, but often times those are the details that are most overlooked. He was feeling badly though, because the way he had communicated his inner turmoil had been really hurtful to Y/N. He was just afraid and he tended to just be really projective and defensive when he was feeling scared or insecure and well, now Y/N was mad at him. He was still scrolling through his phone trying to come up with something that he could do or get her that would aid in her forgiving him…

“Class is over, you know?” He heard a familiar voice and quickly glanced up only to lock gazes with a familiar icy blue pair of eyes. Suddenly he felt his stomach flip as the woman before him smiled at his shock, she did always like to cause a scene.

“Chloe, hi.” He said softly with disbelief. Still in shock at seeing his ex-girlfriend standing there, grinning smugly at him. He felt so anxious just seeing her before him. He had done everything under the sun to get over all of the hurt she had caused him. He had effectively prepared for any possibility except this one; the one where by some insane and ill-turn in his luck, he’d run into her.

“Hi Harry. I heard through the grapevine that you were back.” She said with a smile and he nodded, “Knew you wouldn’t last overseas for too long. Though, I must say it was a good plan.”

“Plan?” He asked and she sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, that was part of your plan to…to move on right? And to heal?” She asked and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of admitting that she had wrecked him. He knew her game and she thrived on leaving her mark on people. “Look, I’m not saying that to patronize you. I just ummm… I hope the move helped you.” She said and he looked at her cautiously.

“Well, thanks.” He responded and she sighed and chuckled.

“Well, did it?” She asked him and he didn’t want to entertain her, but he also wanted to show her that he had moved on and that he had healed and that he had everything she had told him he could never have because he wasn’t good enough for it. He was frustrated at the argument he had with Y/N and had been thrown off by Chloe ambushing him in this fucking cycling class. He wanted to get in the final jab to really stick it to her, so he didn’t really think about any consequences when he raised his left hand to her, showing off his wedding band.

“Ummm yeah, I’d say so.” He chuckled, trying to keep the smug look off of his face when her mouth dropped open in shock.

“You’re married?! Wow!” She gasped with a smile and he nodded. “You’ve been gone all of two years!” She giggled with a smile and he started to feel less worried about her intentions. She seemed to be happy for him, “When did you do it?” She asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah, we did it just this January, actually. We’ve got a baby due in a few more weeks.” He informed with pride and her eyebrows arched up.

“Oh! So it was that kind of thing.” She said with a small smile and he furrowed his brows.

“Oh no, I’d proposed way before the pregnancy.” He explained and she hummed in understanding.

“Well good, as long as it’s not some baby-trapping situation. I know plenty of friends who got sucked into those kinds of situations.” She said and as her words registered, he realized that this idea of him suddenly feeling trapped had been a projection of his previous bad experiences. His little meltdown had just been a version of the person Chloe had trained that was still stuck in there somehow. How could he feel trapped when he literally had everything he had ever wanted with Y/N? When he had everything he had been made to believe he never could or would have because he was made to feel like he would never be good enough for that kind of commitment and that kind of role. “Harry?” She asked and he hummed as he snapped back into reality from that little mental trip of realization.

“Sorry, m’just a bit distracted today.” He chuckled and she hummed.

“Is everything alright?” She asked and he suddenly wanted to prove to her that everything was in fact perfect and that he had come out stronger after everything she’d put him through.

“Yeah, s’just a bit of a transitionary period, you know? Being a husband and a father.” He said and she hummed, not really validating how far he’d come. How he’d done what to her was always out of his scope of possibilities, “I’m not really doing anything after this would you like to grab a coffee or something and catch up for old time’s sake?” He found himself asking her. She looked surprised at his invitation as their breakup had been a complete shit show and her lips turned up in a smile.

“Yeah, that’d be cool.” She said nonchalantly and he nodded.

“Cool. We can freshen up and I’ll meet you up front?”

“Perfect.” She agreed and they both headed out of the studio and into the locker rooms.

For Harry, this was a pride thing. He was suddenly blinded by his need to prove to her that she didn’t have power over him any more. That she couldn’t affect him how she had before. He was so convinced that he had the upper hand, that he was suddenly completely blind of the epiphany he’d had moments earlier about how somehow, she was still in his head. What they’d had were four years of the most insane and toxic back and forth relationship that a person should be allowed to deal with. There was never a dull moment, and not in a good way. When he met Chloe he was broken and sad and he needed someone to prove to him that he was worthy of love him because he couldn’t believe that for himself at the time. And at first there was so much love and care and attention from her. But after a month or two, the mood swings started and it became impossible to not make her upset. But he was still riddled with so much self-loathing that he felt that he deserved the hurt she’d cause him. With Chloe the lows were horrifically low, but when she was in a good place she loved him fiercely and overwhelmingly. He felt on top of the world during those moments, but their happiness was so fragile and that’s when he started to lose himself. When he was so desperate to feel her love that he compromised every part of himself to ensure that he stayed in her good graces and she loved that.

When Eddie had talked to him about love-bombing and abusive partners he was enraged. And well, Chloe had warned him that people would try to break them up and come between them like that, so he was extremely defensive when Eddie questioned the health of their relationship. But every piece of evidence Eddie showed him about how his relationship was abusive was literally chipping away at his composure and sanity. He didn’t acknowledge Eddie for a week after that, he had been so hurt and angry that everything he had shared with him about his relationship had been seemingly turned against him. He felt attacked and was in this mindset of “it’s Harry and Chloe against the world” for quite a while. When the news of Gemma being pregnant with Ivy came to him along with an invitation to a little party at her house he decided that he would show up, despite Chloe asking him not to go. He was scared of how going would make Chloe react, but he was more afraid to show his face after ages of shutting out his family. But the moment his family saw him it became more of a “Welcome home, Harry” party than a pregnancy announcement party. He was overwhelmed by the warm reception from his family. He thought about it for weeks after and soon realized that love wasn’t something to be earned, love was to be freely given to those you care about. Even when you’re upset or in a fight with someone the love doesn’t just disappear, like he’d been experiencing with Chloe. It took him a bit, but he soon apologized to Eddie profusely for his attitude and that’s when Eddie talked to him about a plan he had to open a shop in LA in the next year or so and well, the rest was history.

When he changed back into his street clothes he went outside and had originally started typing out a text to Y/N that he ran into someone he knew and would be going out for a coffee, but quickly decided to not send the message. That should’ve been the first red flag that he was heading down a dangerous road. But he rationalized that away by telling himself that this would be a quick coffee and catch up, he didn’t want this to be a big deal. It was a one-time thing that he was doing for himself; putting the final nail in the coffin of his twisted and painful past. Harry hadn’t and didn’t want to recount all of the shit with Chloe to Y/N. By the time he’d gotten to LA he and Chloe had been done for nearly a year and he’d gotten away with not really talking about it to anyone and he was not about to start now. He felt that he had done a lot of the hard work to move on and he felt prepared to face her again without any consequence or negative impact to himself.

“Hey, ready to go?” He heard Chloe again and he turned to her and smiled as he shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Yeah. Should we go to the one just down the street. S’pretty good if I recall correctly?” He asked and she nodded.

“Sure.Do you want to walk? It’s really nice out today.” She suggested and he smiled.

“Yeah, I could go for a stroll after doing absolutely nothing in that cycling class.” He chuckled and she laughed along.

********

It was nearly 3pm and Harry hadn’t come home yet after leaving a bit after 9am. Y/N and Hillary were both starting to worry because he had said he was going to the gym. She knew that they hadn’t left off on the best of terms and she was anxious to have a proper conversation with him to find a middle ground about how to proceed from this point forward and of course, apologize for the argument. But he’d been gone nearly 5 hours without even returning her text that she’d sent about an hour before, asking when he was coming home. She’d chewed through her fingernails and had started to tear away at the sides of her thumbs when the front door finally opened. She got up from the couch and hurried to the front door as fast as she could. She opened up the door to the entry way and sighed in relief when she saw Harry close the front door behind him.

“Oh thank god, you had me worried!” She said and he turned to her with a small smile. He looked sweaty and a bit tired, figures if he had the longest workout known to mankind.

“I’m sorry, love. I ended up leaving the car at the gym and ended up in SOHO-”

“SOHO?”

“Yeah, I lost track of time out there. It was just such a lovely day.” He explained.

“That’s alright. I’m just not happy about how we left things this morning. S’why I was trying to reach you.” She said and he frowned.

“I understand, love. I’m sorry my phone was on silent. But ummm, I was also being a prick. I don’t feel trapped or like…imprisoned with you. I mean, we’re living the dream, yeah?” He asked.

“I would say so.” She replied softly. “And ummm…I know that this transitionary period is hard and I could’ve been more understanding. Especially since I went through it too. I’m sorry for making you feel bad and for snapping at you. It was wrong of me and I love you so much and I’m sure we can figure some things out to still have a little fun here.” She said and he nodded, “Just nothing with cards because your grandma stopped playing nice now that we’ve built trust.” She said and he chuckled and just hugged her and kissed her forehead.

“Deal. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She replied feeling relief now that they had spoken and apologized to each other.

“Well, you know maybe getting out on my own a bit is not so bad. I just have a lot of kinetic energy built up and just need to be able to get it out, you know? Maybe I can do my own workout or something a couple times a week, you know?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea and when we’re here I’ll be more inclusive about the things we do.” She said and he nodded.

“Thank you, my love. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna have a shower because I am quite sweaty.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, go head.” She said moving so that he could make it into the home and then he headed down the hall to the guest room where they were currently set up.

After that, the rest of the day had gone well. Anne and Julie had come by for dinner and they all got to chatting before Y/N started to get sleepy and headed off to have her own shower after saying goodbye. She could hear everyone still chatting when she made it out of the bathroom and then she saw Harry plugging his phone in and setting it on the bedside table. He huffed when he saw that it wasn’t powering on yet.

“Should I head back out?” She asked and he just continued looking down at his phone and she cleaned her throat to get his attention.

“Huh?” He asked turning to her and she giggled.

“I said should I head back out after getting dressed?”

“Oh no, they’re just picking after themselves. I’ll walk them to the car don’t worry.” He said and then looked down to his phone, trying to power it on again.

“OK.” She said noticing how entranced he was by getting his phone back on, “Is everything alright? You seem anxious to check on something.” She said and he shook his head.

“Oh, s’nothing crazy. Just a review I was waiting for, Eddie said he’d reach out about it.” He said and she hummed, “Alright, make yourself comfy I’ll be back soon.” He assured and she proceeded with her routine.

In the time that he was gone his phone powered back on and as soon as it did, it chimed with a message. Y/N was just about to get into bed and just decided to check to see if it was the message he was expecting from Eddie. After the day they’d had she would be pleased to give Harry some good news. Y/N and Harry had never been private about their phones, so it wasn’t odd for her to just check his phone. She smiled upon seeing Eddie’s name on the screen and just pulled his phone off of the charger and opened it up to check his message. When she got into his messages app she accidentally opened a message that came in right then as Eddie’s was pushed down the queue on the screen and as she skimmed the beginning of it she felt her stomach twist and a lump to form in her throat as she continued to read what was on his screen…

She felt her dinner working its way back up her stomach. Her heart ached and her eyes welled up with tears as she tried to find some logical explanation as to what scenarios other than rough sex would lead to a woman having sore pelvic muscles and legs. She barely made it to the toilet when the wave of sickness hit her, and when she finished she hoisted herself up and flushed the toilet before heading over to the sink to brush her teeth once again. When she opened up the faucet her wedding ring shimmered in the light and she just took a long and calming breath before letting it out slowly. She didn’t know what this was…she needed to trust Harry. But he did appear kind of disheveled when he got home... She groaned and shook it out of her brain before brushing her teeth.

When she headed back into the room she quickly plugged his phone back in and hurried to her side of the bed and got in before her mind started to flick through the friends of his she’d met. She was trying hard to place a Chloe, but she wasn’t coming up with anything. She’d never heard of a Chloe…maybe Alyssa or Gemma would know? But before she could reach out she decided to just keep this to herself until she had actual proof of anything else remotely suspicious. But then again, the message hadn’t been addressed to Harry specifically…but then she said she was glad he was back in town…so it had to be to Harry. Once again she was picking at the skin at the sides of her thumbs as she got lost in this spiral and avoided lunging over to look at the message again. She just laid down and kept spiraling down her thoughts until Harry suddenly came in.

“Has my phone gone off?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, something came in from Eddie.”

“Sick.” He said as he hurried to his side of the bed and opened up his phone. She watched as his eyebrows arched up a bit as he glanced down at his screen but said nothing about it. The text was now read, so Harry knew Y/N’d seen that. He cleared his throat and just went to Eddie’s text message,“Ummm, TattooMaster is going to publish my tattoo and this review of my work and the shop in their September edition.” He shared with a smile. Y/N wanted to be happy at his news, but she was still really on edge and confused from the other thing she’d seen.

“Wow baby, that’s great!” She said as enthusiastically as possible.

“I know…shit.” He chuckled as he started typing away on his phone.

“So uh…do you have any friends that live nearby to us?” She asked and he turned to her.

“Ummm, not really. Why?” He asked, hoping that she’d just ask what he knew she wanted to ask, but instead she just shrugged.

“S’just that maybe if you had anyone close by you could hang out with friends when you need to get out of the house a bit, you know?” She said and he hummed, “S’just a thought.”

“Well sadly my last several years here were not my best and ummm…I kind of burned all of those bridges except for Eddie. And well, a lot of the old crew I worked with before I left are also doing their own thing, so not really anyone for me to hang out with apart from you guys. Not that I mind.” He explained. Hoping that by him saying that he was fully addressing her concern over that text from Chloe that he knew she’d seen. Y/N hummed in understanding. “OK, I’m gonna turn down the lights to let you get some rest.”

“Thanks.” She said as she settled into her pillow and prayed that she had the guts to ask about it if he didn’t say anything by the next day. She would just show him the message and ask him to explain - it wasn’t that hard, was it?

But the next day she wondered if she had been delirious and imagined that suspicious text when she’d glanced at Harry’s phone again because the message was gone. And then another thought came to mind…why would be delete the message?

She waited the rest of the week and nothing else ever came in from the number. If he had been with another woman then all evidence pointed towards this being a one time thing, probably a mistake that he never wanted to think of again - hence deleting the message. But then on Saturday morning he went for “a run” and came back with some pastries for her from a bakery she soon realized was in Hampstead, which was quite far for a run. It made absolutely no sense since he hadn’t taken the car. Later that night he received a new message from Chloe saying it was nice to “grab a coffee” and that was all she needed to confirm that he was in fact hanging out with someone else. Every time he’d go out for more than an hours he’d get a text that night and it’d be gone by the morning. He still hadn’t saved her number though, which was odd to her if they were just friends. She had never been a paranoid person, but she was starting to become that way and she felt like she was going crazy.

… JUNE …

She was 35 weeks now, the Sunday roast was taking place at their house and Y/N was a bit concerned about how things would play out. Harry had been off, just something was off with him since he started hanging out with his new friend a few weeks before. He had been drinking throughout the afternoon and was being a lot more crass in his humor and had regained an arrogance that she hadn’t experienced since the first few months they had known each other. Almost like he was going backwards. She needed to say something because she was losing her mind trying to figure this out. She didn’t want him to think that she was accusing him of something because she really had no proof of anything, but he just wasn’t himself.

“God Harry, help your wife!” Gemma scolded as Y/N tried to push herself out of her seat, she needed to do something about this. Harry turned to her and saw her back arched as she tried to get up, the seat was a bit lower than she thought. He immediately stood and helped her up and she smiled at him.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, love.” He hummed.

“Baby, can I use your phone?” She asked and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Ummm why? For what?” He questioned her and that was an immediate red flag, he never cared before.

“I can’t seem to find mine and I was supposed to call G, he wanted to run through his anniversary dinner plans with his man really quick.” She said. “I just want to find it, I’m gonna call from mine, don’t worry.” She said and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Ummm sure. Yeah, of course.” He said before getting it out of his pocket and she grabbed it and typed in his password and it was wrong? “Oh, sorry forgot to mention I changed it. Archie knew it and downloaded a shitload of games on it and-”

“It’s fine, Harry. You don’t need to justify it to me. I trust you.” She said as she looked into his eyes and he frowned a bit.

“Right.” He chuckled and he took it and she wasn’t sure if it was subconscious or not, but he brought it up, out of her line of sight so that she couldn’t see the new password.

“Thanks. I’m gonna go look for my phone.” She said and he nodded as she headed back inside. She really was just going to call G, because she needed to talk about this with someone who was too far to start a fight over this with him. But seeing him hide something from her, whether he realized it or not, pushed her slight doubt in him into complete mistrust. She was going to call this Chloe chick.

***********

She had called Chloe and unfortunately, Chloe had done nothing but stoke the fires of Y/N’s feelings of betrayal. Chloe played coy, like she didn’t know he was married, but that obviously wasn’t the case when she slipped up on a few things, like knowing about her being pregnant and then mocking her that he hadn’t even lasted a year without being able to cheat on her. Y/N had learned 3 things from this conversation. Well it was more like rampage for Chloe. But she now knew Chloe was his ex-girlfriend. She knew that Chloe was clearly not of sound mind or psychologically stable in any capacity. And she knew for a fact that Harry hadn’t slept with her. Chloe was trying too hard to convince Y/N of something she knew wasn’t the truth. The Harry she described was nothing like Harry that Y/N had married. Maybe it was the Harry Chloe had known years ago and something like the one Y/N had first met, but it wasn’t at all like him now.

He had been sneaking off with his ex though. And he was still actively hiding it and lying about it which was worrisome to Y/N. Maybe he missed her? Or had started to like her again? Maybe seeing her again just made him realize that what he had at home wasn’t enough? It made her feel that way given everything he had told her already about feeling trapped and clearly he had been talking to Chloe about how he was feeling because she was throwing it back in her face and was not even hesitating to twist the metaphorical knife. Y/N refused to be manipulated by this woman though, she would not give her the satisfaction.

“Well, thank you for telling me all of that, Chloe. I guess Harry and I have a lot to talk about-”

“Open the door, Y/N.” She heard Harry through the door and she bit her lip nervously. Maybe she had taken it too far by calling Chloe but she just needed to know what was going on there because he wasn’t telling her. Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat, barely hearing what Chloe was saying to her now.

“-I just think you need to stop kidding yourself. You seem like nice girl and he’s just not the person you think he is. I know you might be angry at me for being the one to tell you this but you deserve to know.” Chloe said playing sympathetic, Y/N could already hear the victory in her voice though and she couldn’t let this person get away with feeling like she’d won.

“Right, well this conversation was actually very enlightening. Thank you so much for looking out for me.” She responded sarcastically and immediately hung up the call before she could say anything else. She did feel bad for going behind Harry’s back but it had to be done. She was about to have his baby, she needed to know if he was in this with her or out. Y/N walked the few steps towards the bedroom door and took a deep breath and held it for a moment before exhaling. Time to face the music.

… TO BE CONTINUED …

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crimsonlovebartylus · 7 months

Text

rebellious regulus, finally doing a big fuck you to his parents and deciding the first thing he wants to do is get a tattoo and he stumbles upon "snake venom tattoo's" and meets the owner, Barty with the green streak on his hair, lip and eyebrow piercing and nose stud and covered with tattoos about greek mythology and death - smirking at regulus and asking him "what would you like?" and regulus brain short-circuits and igoing, "you." and barty smirking more, when regulus cheeks turn red and leaning forward and saying, "we could arrange that".

yeah i like that.

#bartylus #regulus black #barty crouch jr #marauders #the marauders #harry potter #tattoo artist barty #regulus black and barty crouch jr #regulus is smitten by barty #barty is hot #starkiller

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cupid-styles · 2 months

Note

Oh fuck tattoorry piercing his girl’s nipples would be so hot specially with how much she loves humiliation that entire interaction would be so sexually charged

this took me FOREVER but I hope you enjoy!!!!

part of the tattoorry/plugrry world

word count: 3k

content warnings: piercings (mentions of needles), spicy but no smut

masterlist | talk to me

. . .

"Wait, you're being serious?"

Harry huffs out a laugh, sticking his chopsticks in the to-go container of veggie lo mein. "Of course I'm being serious. Why would I lie about that, dovie?"

His response, though not meant to make her feel bad, makes her shrug, a warm blush blooming over the expanse of her cheeks. She stuffs another bite of dumpling in her mouth, chewing it thoughtfully to save her from further embarrassment in front of her boyfriend.

"Don't feel bad," he murmurs, his large palm finding the space between her shoulders, rubbing her sweatshirt-clad skin comfortingly. Her eyes stay glued to the television in front of them, where they're watching the newest episode of Ru-Paul's Drag Race per Y/N's request. (She's never watched it before and Jo, the receptionist at St. Mark's Social, told her she had to. Y/N's been steadily binging it for weeks. Harry pretends like he doesn't love it, but he's secretly just as invested.)

"Dove, look at me," he sighs, placing his food on the coffee table. She does, positioning herself to face him and flittering her eyes up to his face. He looks tired, but they both are. It's been a long week of work and school — however, Y/N was able to get an interview for the bookstore on campus, which ended up causing her a lot of stress and anxiety. It ultimately went well and they said they'd be getting back to her soon. Even if it wasn't the bookstore she wanted to work at, it was still a source of income that would hopefully replenish some of her savings and help her pay rent and bills.

"I shouldn't have laughed, I'm sorry I did that," he says softly, "It's just a given to me, because of my work. Nipple piercings aren't otherworldly, like they probably are for you."

She shouldn't be nitpicking, but somehow that hurts just as badly. Sometimes, she feels like a child around Harry. It's as if he's lived a thousand lives in the adult world and she's just recently gotten to have a smidgen of those experiences.

"It's not otherworldly," she says the word like it's an insult, and Harry has to press his lips into a line so he doesn't laugh, "I just didn't know people got them."

Clearing his throat, he forces himself to put on his professional piercer-and-tattooer face, "Yeah. It's something that anyone can get and I've done a fair amount of them. Semi-painful in the moment with a long healing time. They can look good on the right person, though."

That causes her eyebrows to nearly shoot up to her forehead.

"What do you mean, the right person?"

"You're just a nosy little thing tonight, aren't you?" Harry fires back with a smirk. She goes to cower with deflated shoulders but he instantly makes a tsk-ing noise with his mouth, grabbing her hands to keep her close, "I just mean, like any piercing, it doesn't always look right on the person. Sometimes people get nose or eyebrow piercings and it's like, oh, that's fine. But sometimes it's as if their anatomy looks complete with the piercing — almost like it's meant to be there, if that makes sense."

It doesn't, but it only continues to pique her curiosity even more.

"What about me?"

"What about you?" Harry chuckles, using a hand to smooth her hair down.

"What piercings would look good on me?"

He smirks at her little game. She plays this sometimes, and he assumes it only comes from a place of true wonder. When they talked about the drugs he's done before, she asked which ones he think she'd like. (None, except maybe for weed, but she has to get her anxiety under control before she tries it.) They went over different styles of tattoos when Y/N was interested in his work, especially when he explained that his are just a hodgepodge of designs, some with meaning, some without. (He said she can get whatever she wants if she decides on something one day, but he's particularly partial to a little "H" on her bum.) And now, she wants to know what piercings would fit her.

"You can get whatever you'd like, dovie," he replies, "Just as long as I'm the one doing it."

She rolls her eyes and leans her shoulder against the plush of the couch cushion. "Yeah, but you're the professional, Harry! You know what would look best on me."

"Anything would, you're gorgeous."

"That's a cop-out answer and you know it!"

Harry laughs loudly and places his hands atop her shoulders, "Okay, okay. Let me think, dovie. I need to assess my client."

"Oh, you're being a professional now?"

"Shhhh!" he exclaims, and it only makes her laugh harder. He's already gone to that focused place, though, with wandering but fixated eyes and that small crinkle between his eyebrows. She feels bashful beneath his gaze, blinking her eyes as he analyzes her facial features. She's watched him work before, but for some reason, this in particular reminds her of the first time they met, when she sat in on him tattooing Mai. She remembers the way her stomach warmed and her core throbbed at his attuned facial expression, similar to how it is now.

"Okay," he murmurs. Slowly, he reaches up to gently tap at the side of her nose. "I think you'd look very pretty with a small nose piercing."

"Really?"

He nods. "Yes, but you're beautiful with or without, so it doesn't matter. Plus, I can't have my girlfriend looking cooler than me."

She's not surprised at the way he instantly returns to his teasing self, even if it's not exactly the answer she was fishing for. She watches as he leans forward to grab his carton of noodles. With her tongue peeking out to moisten her lips, she attempts to grab his attention again.

"What about...?" she glances down at her chest. Harry looks at her with a quirked eyebrow. Her form is currently swallowed up in a sweatshirt that's a few sizes too large, so she realizes she's not being entirely specific about what she's asking. "Like...?"

"Huh?"

She sighs frustratedly, "My boobs!"

"Oh," Harry's eyes widen, flickering down to her covered breasts, "You wanna know if you'd look good with nipple piercings?"

She nods, nibbling on her bottom lip. She watches at the cogs turn in his brain, his gaze meeting hers a moment later.

"Need to see 'em." he says decidedly.

She huffs out a chuckle as he helps her peel her sweatshirt off, leaving her in a comfortable bralette. It's pale pink and sheer, but with Harry's hands splayed across her ribs, he still pulls the fabric down. In an instant, her nipples are stiff and peaked from the cold air, and she's attempting not to feel sheepish underneath his intense eyes as they flicker between her breasts.

"I don't know why I'm even contemplating it," he says, though it's mainly to himself, "Of course you'd look hot with them. You're you."

He looks up at her with a goofy grin before pressing a kiss between them. She blushes.

"You think so?" she asks as her hand finds the back of his neck. He nods, eyes flickering closed when her fingertips play with the shorter, curly tendrils.

"Of course."

"Would you do it, then?"

Harry's eyes shoot open. "Wait, what? I thought we were just... talking, I didn't think you were being serious."

Y/N shrugs, "I dunno, I kind of like the idea of it."

"Dovie... you only have your ears pierced," he mumbles, sitting up and reaching to gently touch her ear lobes, "If this is something you'd seriously want, I'd want you to think about it for at least, maybe, a few days, not just 10 minutes."

"I've never done anything impulsive, though," Y/N says through a whine. He understands it, and his face crinkles some at her request. "You've gotten tattoos while you were drunk! O-or given stupid ones to yourself!"

"I know, baby," Harry coos, "But those were stupid decisions and I don't want you to make the same ones. You're so much better than that."

She sighs dejectedly. He presses a kiss to each of her cheeks, then to her nose.

"I get it, dove, really. And by all means, I'd rather you get an impulsive piercing than a tattoo. But the healing time is really long, and it is painful. I just don't want you to regret it or... or get mad at me, either."

Y/N's heart softens a bit, nodding her head as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. "No, I understand."

"If you still want them in a few weeks or months, I'm more than happy to be the one to do it," he says softly, reaching down to give her hand a small squeeze. She perks up a little at that, and he smiles. "Just give it some more thought, okay?"

. . .

Harry really, truly thought Y/N would never mention the whole nipple piercing thing again.

It turns out, his girl is way more stubborn than he could have ever anticipated, because it's been four weeks since then and she still wants them.

In fact, she's currently sitting in his little work zone, where he tattoos and pierces other clients. Not his girlfriend.

"Are you sure?" he asks for the thousandth time. In the time since she first brought it up, she's done tons of research, including asking Harry just short of a million questions. He appreciated her enthusiasm towards education, but talking about nipple piercings as soon as he finished up work wasn't always ideal. Still, though, he made sure to entertain anything she had to ask, even catching her looking up different jewelry styles and what it looked like on different people.

And, as soon as Jo accidentally overheard Y/N talking to him about it, of course she offered to show her own. Harry wanted to bang his head into a wall as he listened to them excitedly chatter in the corner, right after one of his employees bared her entire chest to his girlfriend. It had to be some type of workplace violation, only Harry served as the closest thing to Human Resources at the shop — and, considering they sold weed on the side, he didn't think he had much of a case against Jo.

It just so happened that Y/N got out of classes early on Wednesday and Harry hung around the shop those days, making deals and doing boring business administration things. When she asked if she could come by to get her piercings done, he reluctantly said yes.

It wasn't that he didn't absolutely love the idea of it — he did, actually, and his mouth nearly watered at the imagery it created in his brain. What he did hate was the thought of causing his girl any kind of pain. He was still in the camp of being fearful that she'd get angry at him if she didn't end up liking it. But her excitement towards it never wavered, and he would never be one to tell her no.

"Yes, I'm sure," Y/N replies, wringing her hands together in her lap. "I'm nervous, though."

"That's normal, dovie. Just try your best to relax, it's only me."

She nods as he shuts the door to give them some privacy. He never does that with clients, but he wants to make sure he's making it as comfortable as a process as possible — and, maybe he's keen on ensuring no one else gets a peek.

He busies himself with sanitizing his tools, washing his hands, and eventually pulling a pair of latex gloves on. He wishes he could make it a more fun experience for her, but the whole thing is quite medical.

"You already picked your jewelry out, right?" he asks lowly. She nods her head as she watches on.

"Mhm. I sent you a picture of it last week."

"Right, these simple pink barbels, hm?"

The piercing jewelry she'd chosen were pretty spot on to Y/N's aesthetic of being uncomplicated and feminine. When he saw what she picked, he immediately told her that it would fit her perfectly.

"Alright, I'm gonna clean them and then we can get started. Still feeling good?"

She nods again.

"You gonna tell me if you're gonna pass out again, baby?"

She scowls, remembering back to fainting from her first ear piercing. The sour, twisted frown on her face makes him laugh.

"That's still so embarrassing." she mumbles. On the newly cleaned workspace, Harry shakes his head, placing the sanitized jewelry and piercing supples down on it.

"Not embarrassing. Cute, actually," he corrects, peeling his gloves off. "Okay. I'm gonna help position you, is that okay?"

"Do you do that for every client?"

He narrows his eyes at her playfully, "No, you jealous little fiend."

She pulls her sweater off, revealing a pale blue baby tee. He swallows as she lays back on the extended table, taking a deep breath to surely calm her nerves. He gently squeezes her wrist, hovering over her form as she gets comfortable. When she shoots him a small nod, he smiles, flipping her shirt up.

"Okay, baby," he says, smoothing his hand over her stomach, "I'm sure you read this in your... insane amount of research—"

"Not insane."

He nods curtly, "Right, not insane," he quickly corrects. "Anyway, your nipples have to be hard for this. It helps with the placement."

She issues another silent nod his way but doesn't move to do anything. With a small smile, he gently cups her breast.

"Do you want me to?" he asks, his tone dropping lowly. She's not quite sure what he's even asking to do, but she still provides an affirmative answer. It's not a second more before he's latched his lips around her nipple, her eyes fluttering back from the sucking sensation. It's messy, the way he alternates between each one so they're swollen with his spit, and her fingers find his long curls, tugging at them gently to press him closer to her chest.

It feels like he's gone far too quickly, plushy, wet lips pressing a quick kiss to the valley between her breasts as he examines his work. Her mouth parts as she watches him bite his lip.

"You're good," he pants out, though he takes a moment to adjust the growing bulge in his pants, "Need to... put gloves back on."

They're both a bit lust-driven now, but Harry's quick to meld back into his professional persona after snapping a clean pair of gloves on his hands. Y/N swallows as he analyzes her, feeling squeamish beneath his eyes. Wordlessly, he grabs a marker and places two dots on either of her nipples.

"That's just for the placement," he explains, grabbing a mirror so she can look at where the jewelry would sit, "What do you think?"

Truthfully, they could have been completely wonky and Y/N wouldn't have noticed, let alone say anything. She trusts Harry implicitly, even if she still feels a bit hazy from the welcomed assault on her stiffened breasts.

"Good." she says with a nod, glancing up at him, "Looks good."

"Alright, baby," he replies. He turns to get the clean piercing needle from his rolling tray. "I'm gonna count down from three. I want you to close your eyes and inhale on three, then exhale on one. We'll take a short break after the first one, and then I'll do the second. Does that sound okay?"

"Mhm," she mumbles, nervously biting her lip. "Just do it, please. 'm gonna lose my nerve."

He chuckles and nods, instructing her to keep her eyes closed as he situates himself over her.

"Okay. Three— there you go, dovie, big, deep breath— two, one."

She immediately winces from the sharp bite of pain, a noisy gasp falling from her lips. Harry silently cringes to himself — not because the piercing isn't perfect, but because he absolutely hates knowing he's the reason why she's in pain right now.

"Keep your eyes closed, baby," he murmurs as he fits the jewelry through the first piercing, "Good girl. You're doing so good for me, hm? My strong baby."

She swallows harshly, hands balled into fists at her side. It's painful, that much is true, and she's beyond grateful when he finally finishes screwing the jewelry into place. She lets out a shaky breath and Harry coos, taking one of his gloves off to thumb her tears away.

"Was that okay, dovie?" he asks worriedly, "We can always save the second for another day."

Y/N quickly shakes her head, "No, no. Just do the other one now, otherwise I'll never have you do it."

Harry repeats the process on the other side. The pain is just as bad, tears continuing to cloud Y/N's vision and roll down her cheeks despite her keeping her eyes squeezed close. He shushes her softly throughout it, his heart tugging. Once he's finished, he's quick to wash his hands, listening to her quiet sniffles.

"I know baby, I know," he mumbles. He crosses the room as soon as he's done, sitting down next to her and brushing her hair back, "You did so good, you know that? 's all done, dovie, you're done."

She sniffs, batting her wet eyelashes up at him. "'s done?"

"Yeah, sweetheart." he says with a small, crooked smile. "You were so good. Took it like a champ."

"I didn't, I cried the whole time."

He chuckles and leans down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Do you wanna see them?"

She nods, nibbling on her bottom lip as he stands to grab the handheld mirror. He helps her slowly sit up, hinging at the waist. He holds it up to her chest, both pairs of their eyes staring at her swollen breasts. His eyes flitter to her face to gauge her expression, scared that she hates them.

"Wait," she mutters, cocking her head to the side, "Wait... they're kind of hot."

Relief floods Harry's system and he smirks. "You think so?"

"Yeah," she nods, sitting up on her knees, "I know they're kinda puffy right now but... I think I like them. A lot."

Harry swallows harshly, dropping the mirror on his chair. Suddenly, he's surging towards her and taking her cheeks between his large palms, smushing their lips together like his life depends on it. It takes her entirely by surprise, and it's hurried and hot and desperate, so much so that she's panting into his mouth and gripping at his black tee-shirt.

When he finally breaks their kiss, strings of spit still connecting their mouths, he keeps his forehead pressed against hers. Again, he glances down to get another look at her chest.

"I love you so fucking much," are the only words he can utter out before he's pulling her jeans down to bury his head between her legs.

1K notes · View notes

moonchildstyles · 6 months

Note

angel getting high for the first time 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

cw: drug use! its only weed, nothing heavy but if that makes you uncomfortable please skip :)

wordcount: 11.8k+

—————

(Y/N) kicked her legs in the air as she laid tummy down on her bed. She listened to the ringing from the phone pressed to her ear, waiting for a familiar voice to answer.

In the middle of the third ring, her hopes were answered when a click sounded. Muffled background noise started through the speaker, accompanying a honeyed drawl.

"Hi, lovebug," Harry murmured, his speech seemingly slower than normal.

"Hi," she chirped through her smile. Her feet kicked in the air, free hand coming up to twirl her hair around her index finger. "What are you doing?"

A random burst of laughter bubbled through the other line, distant from the phone though it was still loud. "'M on the phone, be quiet," Harry reprimanded, voice far from the receiver before he returned with a decided softer tone, "Nothing, jus' trying to watch a movie with Mitch. What about you, baby?"

"Just in bed," she mused, "I wanted to call before I went to sleep. Did you want me to let you go since you're with Mitch?"

Since deciding on moving in together once their respective leases expired, (Y/N) had been making a point to spend more time with Sarah while she was still so close. She didn't want to get in the way if Harry was trying to do the same.

"No, no, I wanna talk to you, 's alright," he assured her, "How was your day?"

It was still sweet to (Y/N) the way that she could text him all day long, telling him everything about her day, and he still would ask her a question like this. He told her once that he likes hearing her voice, even if he already knows what she's telling him.

"It was alright," she said, rolling to lay on her back, looking up at her ceiling, "I turned in that paper that I was working on last weekend, so that's all done. The library was super quiet today, though, I almost fell asleep in the philosophy section."

A small laugh sounded from Harry. "Did y'really?"

"Yeah," she sighed, a smile curling her lips, "Elizabeth had to come entertain me. But, what about you? You did that big piece today, right?"

"Yeah, the thigh piece," he said, voice thick, "She was a nice girl, but I had a headache by the time we took the first break. She liked to talk a lot. M'hand's been cramping since lunch."

A pout landed on (Y/N)'s lips. She hated hearing about those kinds of details from Harry's job. She had always figured it was so fun and glamorous, easy and fulfilling. She had never thought about the physical toll of drawing and shading and designing all day long.

"Oh, no," she hummed, instinctively rolling her wrist and curling her fingers as if she could take his pain from miles away. "Did you take anything to help?"

"Kind of. Mitch and I have been relaxing since he got home."

She knew exactly what that meant. Though Harry tended to keep this specific hobby of his separated from her, set on the back burner away from the time he spent with her, she knew better. Besides, she had found that little bag in his dresser months ago, she wasn't completely clueless (of course, he did have to explain what she had found to her, but that was a different story).

That would explain why time seemed to be moving a little bit slower on the other end of the phone, and the boisterous laughter Mitch was sharing in the background.

"Have you been smoking?" she asked, voice quiet. She always felt a bit silly bringing this up to him, unsure of what terms to be using and what meant what exactly.

"A little bit, yeah," he affirmed, "Sorry. I didn't know you'd be calling. I wouldn't have if I knew you wanted to talk tonight."

Shaking her head despite the fact he couldn't see her, (Y/N) rushed her protests. "No, no, don't be sorry. I don't mind, you know that. As long as you're happy and you guys are being careful."

"Always am, baby."

A heat bubbled in her chest at his words. While he never did it around her, there were times that she called him or he FaceTimed her before bed when he was under the influence and his voice drawling just a little deeper, sitting heavier in his chest, hit her just perfectly. She could imagine the way his eyes were a bit hooded, his tongue sticking around his words, the easy smiles that spread across his face for no other reason than he liked the feeling.

She wondered what he looked like in the act. Was it like the movies with lavender smoke and pieces of blown glass with intricate details? Or did he make his own little rolls, hanging from his lips like a cigarette?

Mitch's loud laugh on the phone brought her back to reality, blinking her back to her room and Harry's static on the other end of the phone. Harry gave a muffled response before his own laughter joined his best friend's, the sound drawling and breezy.

When he returned to the phone, she could hear the lingering smile in his tone. "I think Mitch found a movie for us to watch, love."

"What is it?" she asked, feeling the end of the phone call nearing. She would have to settle for spraying the stuffed bunny he gifted her for Valentine's Day with a sample of his cologne for her to cuddle for the night.

"I don't even know," he laughed, "but, I think 's gonna be funny. I think 'm gonna have to make us food, though, so I don't think I can talk for much longer."

"That's okay. Have fun with Mitch and I'll talk to you tomorrow, right?"

"Right," he affirmed, voice soft, "Sleep well, lovebug. I'll call you during my lunch."

"Okay," she sighed, fitting her cheek against her pillow, "I love you."

"I love you more, baby," he cooed, "Goodnight."

An exaggerated kiss noise sounded through her phone, pulling a loud peal of laughter from (Y/N)'s lips. He never really did that when he was around his friends, only putting on the show when he was calling her in private. She thought it was very sweet.

"Goodnight," she laughed, pressing the red button before she became too spoiled with his shenanigans and tried to keep the call going.

Setting her phone on her nightstand, she snuggled into her comforter, a throw blanket covering her body instead of her duvet. Pulling her studded bunny from the fringes of her bed, (Y/N) nestled her cheek against the soft fluff. The sown still smelled of Harry's house from the last time she had spent the night, bringing her back to what he was doing in her absence.

The mystery surrounding his activity of choice for the day is what flicked her curiosity. She'd seen a few movies with marijuana being an uncredited character along with a couple of books with the high feeling being described, but she had never been exposed to anything substantial in real life before she moved away from her parents. Even then, she still hadn't experienced more than the herbal scent that inevitably clung to apartment complexes so close to a university campus and the few bleary eyed classmates she had to work with.

Specifically, she wondered what Harry was like when he was in that state. Those classmates of hers always seemed disconnected, tired, and in their own head. Was Harry the same way? Did he act the way he did when he drank a little bit too much wine? Or was he wild and excitable like those in the movies? Or sleepy like she had read in her books?

What would she be like?

The idea followed her behind her shuttered eyes, her mind going a bit floaty the closer she sunk into sleep.

—————

"Sarah, have you ever... smoked weed before?"

The words felt silly falling from (Y/N)'s mouth. Was that even the correct term? She didn't know, but she kept her attention on the food she was making in front of her, hoping Sarah wouldn't notice.

"Yes," she answered with a suspicious drawl, sweeping through the apartment with a laundry basket on her hip, "Why?"

(Y/N) only shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been thinking about it." She paused, tipping her head. "What does it feel like?"

"Smoking?" Sarah pressed.

"Yeah," (Y/N) chirped, feeling shy that she was even breaching this conversation. "Or, like, being high. Is it like the movies?"

"A little bit," Sarah mused, folding her laundry on the dining room table into neat piles. "It's not as dramatic or crazy, but it can feel that way sometimes. It depends on the person. Everyone's different."

Rolling her lips, (Y/N) nodded her head. She chanced a look over her shoulder at her friend, slowing her stirring. "What are you like?"

Sarah shrugged, a crease between her brows as she thought. "I haven't smoked in a while, but I used to get really tired. It always depended on what kind we had, but I usually got really tired."

Is that what Harry did? Did he get sleepy, like some of her classmates? Did he nod off during the movie he and Mitch watched the other night?

"When was the last time?" (Y/N) asked, hoping Sarah didn't cut her off. She was genuinely curious, she hoped she wasn't prodding and poking past her welcome.

"Maybe a year ago? Could have been longer," Sarah answered. "I was with Mitch so it wasn't too long ago."

Fixing her attention back on the stirring of the soup she was making for their dinner, she tried to act casual as she spoke. "W-Was Harry there, too?"

"Harry?"

(Y/N) could hear the smile in Sarah's voice as she realized where (Y/N)'s curiosity was stemming from. She never tired of teasing just a little over how in love she was with her Harry. (Y/N) only hummed a confirmation, keeping her voice to herself.

"He wasn't there the last time, but he did used to smoke with us sometimes," Sarah explained, sounding a little too amused as she spoke, "Why?"

Shrugging, (Y/N) pretended as if she wasn't intrigued at the info Sarah could share. "No reason really. Was it fun? With Harry and Mitch and all?"

"(Y/N)," Sarah sighed, her voice floating through a smile, "C'mon."

Stopping her distracting task, she turned to face Sarah who was looking at her with that knowing smile she somehow always had when it came to (Y/N)'s secrets. She was an open book as her friend could tell.

"What?" (Y/N) feigned nonchalance as if she hadn't already been caught.

"Did Harry say something? Is that why you're asking about all of this?" Sarah poked, her features set in a gentle tease.

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth she canted her head, eyes dropping to where Sarah's hands had stalled her folding. "Not exactly," she started, "He just... I don't know, I called him the other night and he was with Mitch and they had been smoking, he told me. I know he's done it a few times since we started dating, but I've just been thinking about it since then."

Sarah hummed, nodding her head as she listened. "I get it," she said, "I know he doesn't do it around you or anything, right?" (Y/N) only shook her head. Popping her hip with a furrow appearing in her brow as she cast her mind back in search of answers for (Y/N)'s previous questions. "I wouldn't say it's exactly like the movies," Sarah continued, "But it depends on the person and the strain, and things like that. I usually get pretty tired and hungry, Mitch is like the movies sometimes—loud and everything is funny—, and Harry gets really lovey and lazy. None of us really make much sense, though."

(Y/N) tried to picture it. Lavender smoke in the air, Harry lazing about with hearts in his eyes, Mitch laughing about nothing, and Sarah passed out in the corner with a pillow under her cheek. A pinch appeared between her brows as she tried to see where she would sit amongst those characters.

"What do you think I'd be like?"

Blinking, Sarah brought her gaze to her friend. She pursed her lips as she took in (Y/N).

"I don't know. It's not the same as being drunk, so I don't know if you'd be as excitable." Sarah contemplated for a moment longer. "I don't really know, honestly. Are you thinking about finding out?"

She could only shrug. A similar anxiety she felt around alcohol before she broke that barrier still surrounded this, if even a bit heightened given the fact the substance was still very much taboo in her life. There were so many scary, over-exaggerated out there about marijuana, along with the fact that it was still very much taboo in (Y/N)'s life. The use of it seemed to be something that was only done in private and kept as a secret for some people. She was worried that if she found out why, she would regret it.

Though, there were those puffing thoughts in the back of her mind that begged to differ. It couldn't be that bad. Harry, Mitch, and Sarah were three of her favorite people in the whole world. They weren't devilish burnouts with a one-track lifestyle taking them down the drain, like horror stories and PSA's liked to project. They were good people who sometimes indulged in extra relaxation when they had the chance and the mindset to do so. There was nothing wrong with that.

"You could ask H, if you wanted. You know he'd answer anything you wanted to know."

"I know," (Y/N) drawled, unsure despite the fact she knew Sarah was telling the truth. "You don't think he'd be annoyed or anything? I know he keeps it all separate from me for a reason, so I don't want to make him upset."

Sarah leveled her gentle gaze on (Y/N)'s face. "I think he does it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. It's different than drinking wine with him and things like that, so I bet he just doesn't want to scare you."

(Y/N) shook her head, "He couldn't scare me, though. He's too nice."

"To you," Sarah clarified, her smile soft and teasing, "You know he just worries about you and all of that. You wouldn't upset him if you wanted to know more about anything he does."

He did love teaching and showing her things, she knew that.

"I'll think about it," (Y/N) settled.

"Good," Sarah smiled, grabbing her stacks of folded laundry, "Is dinner ready?"

"Almost," (Y/N) chirped, adding a little bit of extra seasoning to the pot, "I just need to add the noodles. It'll probably be ready by the time you're done putting everything away."

Sarah gave a small cheer, stacks of clothing now rehomed in the laundry basket to be returned to her room. "Thank you," she sung, "We should watch that yacht show when we sit down, don't you think?"

Perking up at the suggestion, (Y/N) quickly nodded her head. "That sounds perfect!" she smiled, mellowing some as she turned her attention to her swirling soup base, "And, thank you for answering everything, by the way. It always helps me."

"I know, that's why I do it," Sarah settled, reaching out to squeeze (Y/N)'s arm gently before she swept away.

Left in the silence of the kitchen with only the simmering soup, (Y/N) felt a little bit lighter. Some of her questions were answered even if she had more she wanted to hear from Harry directly. More than anything, she was a little enamored at the idea that Harry was loving and lazy under the influence. She already had a small idea given that she had seen how easy and bubbly he became when he drank, but she'd never seen him really slow down the way she pictured it in her head.

She wanted to see just how lovey he became, if she was being honest. She already had the privilege of experiencing the affectionate side of him, she wondered just how much higher that volume would be kicked to if he had been smoking. What if he really did have hearts in his eyes?

The thought brought a quiet smile to (Y/N)'s face.

Maybe, she really would have to ask him.

—————

"What are you thinking for dinner, my love?"

(Y/N) puckered her lips to reciprocate the small kiss Harry gave her as he traipsed by the couch. Her eyes followed the broad of his back as her made his way towards the kitchen. With her hands folded on the arm of the sofa, she rested her cheek on her forearm, kicking her legs up behind her as she watched him.

"Whatever you want, I'm okay with," she told him, voice soft and easy.

"Yeah?" he prodded, looking over his shoulder as he washed his hands in the sink, "Even if I didn't feel like making dinner tonight and decided to order sushi instead?"

"Sushi?" (Y/N) bubbled, "From the new place?"

Harry nodded, dimples thumbed into his cheeks. "I figured we could try it out tonight, if that was alright."

"Yes, please," she beamed, her grin only widening when came around to join her in the common area after drying his hands.

His lip ring bobbled as he matched her smile, using a gentle hand to push a stray strand of hair from her eyes. "Why don't you pull up the website for us while I put my sketches away, and find what y'like. Then we'll order, yeah?

Despite the long hours he worked at the shop this past weekend, he looked as gorgeous as ever to (Y/N). He lacked eyeliner after wiping it off as soon as he made it home, but his eyes were still the star of the show against his creamy skin. A fresh bee tattoo stood out on the column of his throat, the mosaic wings following the line of his jaw amongst the rose bush filler he had inked across the skin. With the way he stood over her, she got the perfect view of his spiraling curls and the cut planes of his face complete with his glimmering nose stud and lip ring.

She nodded her head in a lovey daze. "I can do that."

Amusement flickered in his eyes as he looked down at her. He dipped to her level to press a lingering kiss to the tip of her nose. "Thank you, baby," he murmured, moving away to gather the art supplies he was working with, "I'll be right back."

Pulling out her phone, (Y/N) searched up the restaurant up while her mind was still on Harry.

While the questions she had for him were still in the back of her mind, it was too easy to become distracted with him. They weren't apart for a long time by any stretch of the imagination, but even spending a long, four-day weekend away from one another allowed enough fondness to grow between them to keep her mind from wandering very far from what was right in front of her. Besides, Harry barely let her get a word in since she stepped foot in his home, having tugged her to his bedroom with his lips pressed to hers, only breaking for breath.

She'd ask him at some point, she was sure. If she had the mind to after dinner.

Browsing through the menu for a few minutes, (Y/N) found the rolls she was interested in, picking things she had a feeling Harry would like and finding other little gems on the website that she would mention in hopes of getting his opinion on. She searched through the site, trying to find an option to order online with no luck, the browser rerouting her to the main page every time she tried to plug into the ordering site.

"H?" she called, realizing he still hadn't come back from resetting his utensils.

"Yes?" he answered back, still in the bedroom, "What do y'need, love?"

Instead of responding, she stood from the couch and moved towards his room, brows knitted and phone screen bright in her hand. "The website isn't working—it won't let me order," she explained, stepping over the threshold to his room.

Lifting her head, she saw him standing at his dresser, back to the door with his head angled down and hands fiddling across the top of his dresser. He looked over his shoulder at her, his hands slowing.

"Give me a second, and I'll take a look," he told her, "I'm still cleaning up—forgot I left some things out."

"Oh?" she sounded, stepping towards him with her phone being slid back into her pocket, "Do you want any help?"

Growing close enough, she peered around him to see what he was working on. Instead of spotting the graphite and colored pencils she figured she'd find, she instead saw tiny green buds splaying across the wooden surface with a pair of loose pieces of thin paper and a tall black canister. Harry worked quickly to clean up the mess, majority of the green flakes having been scooped up and replaced in the container though he was struggling to wrangle the remains back into their container.

"'S alright," he murmured, shifting just enough to cut her view of the space, "'M almost done."

Rolling her lips between her teeth, she rocked on her heels as she stayed put. Before she could think better of her words, they were already spilling from her mouth:

"Is that weed?"

She cringed at the sound of her voice wrapping around something so outside of her vocabulary. It sounded better in her head.

Harry's hands slowed, stilling before he looked over his shoulder at her. A sliver of his workspace was once again revealed at the small shifting.

"What was that?" he pressed, his question seemingly heavy between the two of them.

She said the wrong thing, didn't she? (Y/N) dropped her gaze from his, settling on the new bumblebee on his neck instead.

"I ask if that was your... you know," she trailed off, hating the sound of her floundering almost more than just saying the word outright, "That's weed, right?"

Feeling Harry's gaze trail over her, (Y/N) tried not to squirm.

"It is, yeah," he muttered, "I didn't realize I left it out. 'M sorry."

Darting her eyes up to match his once more, she tipped her head to the side. "Why are you sorry?"

Turning away from the dresser entirely, Harry faced her directly. He gave her a small shrug. "I don't like leaving it out when you're here. I meant to clean it up before y'came over, but I forgot."

"You know I don't mind," she reminded him, "You don't have to be sorry."

A gentle smile curled his lips, only a single dimple in his cheeks as he looked at her.

"Thank you, love," he started, "Let me clean up, I'll wash m'hands again, and then I'll—"

"What does it feel like?"

(Y/N) could feel her skin simmering in embarrassment as her tumbling question fell from her mouth before she had a chance to police the words. Everything she had been too distracted to ask him came flooding back then, unable to be stopped now that she saw the opportunity.

"Sorry," she peeped, realizing how abruptly she had cut him off.

He waved her off, "'S alright." He watched her with attentive eyes, catching each of her expressions and minute movements. "What does what feel like?"

There was no going back now, she figured.

"Being high," she peeped, "What does it feel like?"

While he didn't seem to understand where her line of questioning was coming from, or understood her sudden curiosity in his private hobby, he didn't dissect any further.

Harry rolled his neck, pursing his lips. "It's different for everyone," he started, much the same as Sarah had, "It depends on the kind you smoke, too."

"But what does it feel like for you?" she rattled off, her words coming quick. Her hands were a busy bundle at her waistline, looking at him with curious eyes.

A small tug on the corner of his lip had a lopsided smile sparking on his mouth. "It depends, like I said, on what kind, but I usually like it best when m'hands hurt. It helps numb it long enough for the cramping to go away," he mused, "But, other than that, it makes me tired—but not enough to sleep. I jus' want to do nothing but sit and eat. I also get very touchy; lots of cuddling with pillows and whining about not being with you."

He had to have known that his last comment would get her lips splitting into a sheepish smile, (Y/N) dropping her head to fix her gaze at their feet. It was still a little wild to her that Harry thought about her as often as she did him, even when she wasn't right in front of him.

"You feel like that every time?"

"Mostly, yeah," he shared, "Sometimes I feel like sketching, or I fall asleep right away. Back when Mitch and I would go out a lot, I used to be really hyper—doing stupid shit because I wasn't afraid of anything. I've definitely calmed down since then."

"Oh," she sounded. (Y/N) couldn't imagine Harry being reckless, getting himself into trouble that way—but, this was the same man that apparently received his first tattoo at a mechanic's garage by a very amateur artist. He was capable of anything, she guessed.

"Why do you want to know, love?" he asked, tipping his head with a spiral of his curl falling over his shoulder.

She attempted to act as nonchalant as possible, giving a shrug of her shoulders despite her lips being rolled between her teeth. "I don't know," she answered, "I've just been thinking about it, I guess."

"Yeah? Is that all y'wanted to know?"

While there had to have been hundreds of questions that could come to mind, everything from what he and Sarah meant when they specified reactions were based on the strain or kind of weed that was being consumed, to what skunks vs. dank meant when it came to the herb, she didn't know where to start. Though there was one thing she was wanting to know, beyond just the details of what it would be like to see a clingy, lovey Harry.

"What do you think I'd be like?" she asked, her words coming out in a rush before she could rethink them.

Harry's gaze was warm on her face as he examined her. Amusement sparked in his eyes.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling you'd be a little bit like Mitch," he explained, "I think you'd be excited about everything. But, I'd hope you'd be a little like me just because I like the idea of you being clingy and warm, too."

She liked that idea, too. It was easier this time to add herself to the picture of Harry, Mitch, and Sarah, superimposing herself at Harry's side with her own hearts in her eyes and her hands tangled with his. (They could sneak kisses, too, if she caught the bug of no fear like he used to have).

"Could—Can I—... I think I want to try, if that's alright," she stuttered, unable to find the right words before just letting something roll off her tongue.

Harry's silence was heavy between them, the lilypad of his irises setting on her. "You want to try smoking?"

Starting with a soft nod, she tried to find that reckless bubbling that had carried her this far. "I think so, yeah." A beat passed. "If that's alright."

When he didn't immediately say anything, she chanced a peek up at him to find his eyes fixed on her, gentle and melting as he took her in. He opened his arms for her when he caught her eye, his features softened and warm. "C'mere."

(Y/N) all but fell into his arms, his chest warm and solid under her cheek. She looped her arms around his middle, her eyes fluttering closed as she relaxed into him. He worked like a shot of lavender incense and chamomile tea for her, the perfect thing to settle her in moments like these.

His hand spanned over the planes of her back, fingertips massaging the knots of muscle and ladder of her spine. He rubbed over her form in a soothing circuit between her shoulder blades, his opposing hand an anchoring weight on her waist.

"Y'really want to try it out, love?" he prodded her gently, his voice rumbling under her cheek.

"I think so," she mumbled, finding it easier to speak now that she was there to hold her instead of watch her.

"When did y'decide that?"

"The other day, I think," she explained, "After we talked on the phone."

He hummed, the sound reverberating in her ear. "What made y'think y'wanted to try something like this?"

Harry always liked to talk her through things like this, she found. It made it easier for him to understand her thought process, he'd said, helping him be honest with her if he worried she was making a choice that might hurt her later. He never lacked patience when it came to guiding her through new experiences.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, "I just want to know what it's really like. I've only seen a couple of movies and read a few books, but I want to know what it would feel like for me. I don't think it could be so bad if you like it."

Nosing at her hair, she could feel the smile that had spread across his lips. "'M not always the smartest though, baby. You know that."

She let out a small laugh at his griping. "I know, but I trust you. If you really don't think it would be good for me, I know you would tell me."

A pause settled between them.

"You don't feel like you have to, right? Jus' because 's something I do sometimes, I don't expect you to feel comfortable with it or want to do it with me."

"I know," she responded, voice resolute, "I just want to try it at least once. If I don't like it or anything like that, I won't do it again."

After a lingering moment, Harry drew her away from him, peering down at her with a soft gaze. "If you're sure, then we can try it whenever y'want. Jus' let me help you, and I'll be there."

An impulsive flicker lit through her system. She was on a roll, why stop now?

"Can we try it tonight?"

Harry looked at her with widened eyes. "Tonight?"

(Y/N) nodded her head. "I don't have class until the afternoon tomorrow," she started, a plan coming together, "Do you have to go in early tomorrow?"

His smile was lopsided as he shook his head, likely following where she was going with this. "No, I don't."

"We could stay up, then," she rattled off, "I could try tonight, and if anything goes wrong we can sleep in a little in the morning."

Amusement filtered through his gaze. "I didn't know we were having a sleepover," he teased her, dipping his head until his nose nudged against hers, "Y'want to stay the night with me, baby?"

Her skin hummed as (Y/N) fought the urge to hide herself in his neck. (She acted as if he hadn't been fingers deep in her just a few hours prior, their mouths welded together and her legs around his waist)."

"Harry," she whined, curling her fists in his t-shirt to keep from pulling away, "I'm trying to be serious."

"I know," he crooned, tipping his chin to peck a soft kiss to her pouted lips, "And, 'm listening. We can try it out tonight, if y'really want to. But, I think we should eat first, yeah?"

"Yeah," she repeated, giving a slight nod of her head, "I still need help with the website, though."

"Right," he murmured, pulling away, "Since I don't really need to clean up anymore, let me take a look."

With that, (Y/N) handed him her phone, telling him about the confusion she felt with the links and the rerouting and all, but her mind was somewhere else. Flicking her gaze around his shoulder, she saw the mess he was leaving out for them to take care of later. The small green buds sparked that familiar kind of nervous excitement that she'd grown accustomed to when it came to new things Harry was planning on teaching her.

She just hoped she didn't make a fool of herself.

—————

"What did you think, love? Good, right?"

Taking their dirty utensils—including the pink chopsticks he gifted her for Valentines—Harry spoke over his shoulder as he made his way to the kitchen.

(Y/N) sat pliantly on the couch, tummy full of the variety of sushi rolls they sampled for the night, along with a new favorite miso soup that she was surely going to be craving as the week went on. "So good. I think my favorite is still the spicy salmon one with that seaweed salad on top."

Harry laughed from where he stood, surely remembering the way she had practically taken that roll for herself, hoarding the pieces to allow only one bite for him. "I really liked that one, too. We'll have to go back again soon, yeah?"

"Yes, please," she chirped, looking over the back of the couch as he made his return.

While the food was a delicious distraction for the night, (Y/N) had still marinated in the idea of what would be coming once she finished and they were settling for the night. The mess he'd left on his dresser was waiting for them, loose papers and all.

"Ready?" he asked, coming to stand at the end of the sofa.

Was she? She wasn't sure, honestly. But that uncertainty was outweighed by the curiosity and bubbly jitters she had since Harry had agreed to help her.

Before she had a chance to answer and take his hand, Harry spoke up again, "Jus' to get ready for bed first, baby."

"Oh," she sounded, nothing more intelligent coming to mind at the moment, "Um, yeah. Then we'll...?"

He cracked a smile at her hesitancy to name the activity that she had brought up. "Yes, we'll do that afterwards. You'll probably feel more comfortable in some pajamas and your face clean."

Though she felt a bit silly at the way she had built up a moment that hadn't quite arrived yet, she understood his logic. Besides, if she turned out to be like Sarah, she wouldn't beat herself up in the morning if she did all of her skincare now, and not when she was already inches from sleep.

Taking Harry's hand, she followed after him as he led her to his bedroom, a small duffle bag of hers that stayed here was already sitting by the bathroom door. A change of clothes, and minis of her most essential skincare needs were packed away inside, making it easy for her to spend the night impulsively when she wanted to.

(Just then, the reminder that she wouldn't be confined to a single bag when they moved in together made her more giddy than before. Soon, she'd be sharing a whole closet with him, a bathroom, and a home. She couldn't wait).

(Y/N) went through the motions of getting unready with Harry standing behind her in the mirror. More often than not, as she brushed her teeth or patted a balm into her skin, her eyes wandered to his reflection. Once or twice, when she was caught, he gave her a sly smile with glimmering eyes. But, when he didn't catch her, his attention on his own task, she was left to allow her mind to gill with imagination.

She was reminded as she ran her eyes along the cut of his jaw, the plants of his features, and the high points in-between, that he would be stepping behind the lavender veil with her. His previous conversation with her had only revolved around her and what she wanted out of this experience, straying her mind away from the fact that he was going to be a part of the package.

What would he look like with smoke pluming from his mouth? Would his lilypad eyes go glazed and red? She wondered if his hands would feel any different gliding over her skin, if his lips would still feel as pillowy against hers.

The thought had her cheeks warming, a sheepish smile forming around the toothbrush between her lips.

Harry finished before her, stepping out of the bathroom to give her privacy to change into her pajamas. "I'll wait for you out here," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her head.

Closing the door behind himself, she was left alone with the chilled tile under her socked feet. Glancing at the mirror, (Y/N) found herself fresh-faced with wide eyes and a slight swell to her lips from the amount of times she rolled them between her teeth. Blinking, she wondered if she would look any different to Harry after she pulled the smoke into her lungs.

It was with rushed hands that she dressed into her sleep clothes (really nothing more than a pair of tiny shorts she would inevitably kick off in the night, and a shirt she had stolen so long ago from Harry that it was hers now), almost slipping her top on backwards before she righted herself in the mirror. Stepping out of the washroom with her laundry being dropped atop her duffle for later, (Y/N) saw Harry once again at his dresser.

This time, he looked to her with an easy smile, his hands working over the surface before him.

"Better?" he smiled, lip ring bobbing.

"Mhm," she hummed, moving towards him in slow strides, "What are you doing?"

Turning back to face his hands, he told her, "Jus' getting our things ready. Do you want to watch?"

A pinch creased her brows as she went towards him. Peering around his shoulder, she saw him working with one of the loose papers from before and a small pile of crushed up greenery.

"What do you have to do?" (Y/N) only had a vague idea of what all went into preparing for a session like this.

Smiling down at her, his ministrations slowed now that her attention was placed on his hands. He sidestepped just enough to allow her an unobstructed view of his work. "I figured we'd stick with a joint this first time, so I've got to roll one up for us to use."

Looking at it now, while she didn't have much knowledge of any of this, she could see familiar pieces forming. The paper would be rolled and twisted with the bud inside, Harry flickering a lighter at the end like a cigarette when it was ready.

"How do you do that?" she muttered, stepping that much closer, feeling as if she were a child pressing their nose against the glass separating them from gallons of ice cream.

A huffed laugh fell from his lips then. Lifting his arm up, he beckoned her to stand between his chest and the dresser. "C'mere."

Slipping into the small space he freed for her, the heat of his chest could be felt against her back. Though she caught whiffs of it before, now the herby, earthy smell of the bud was right at her nose, wafting through the air and clinging to her skin. Right in front of her, Harry worked around her, his fingers deftly working through his supplies.

"First," he started, "You've got to keep the paper flat out and put one of the filters at the end." She watched as he pulled a tiny white piece from the canister, setting it at the middle of one of the short ends of the paper. He kept it stable when he reached for the ground up weed that he had piled in the lid to the container, a small mound he pinched at before sprinkling the chunks in a line across the paper. "We've got to fill it up enough so there's not any air bubbles between," he explained as he worked, his arms hovering above her shoulders as he created their joint with the ease of experience. "This part’s always a little hard for me," he told her, to her surprise.

"What do you mean?" He could have fooled her.

"'S hard to pack it in like this," he elaborated, his voice dull as he concentrated, "M'fingers are too big, so I've got to be extra careful that I don't mess it up."

Honing her gaze in on his digits, she had to keep herself from tipping her head to the side and falling victim to the sight. She could see it then, she figured, watching as he tried to pat everything as tightly and precisely as possible. His fingers definitely were too big.

"Oh," she sounded.

A breathy laugh came from behind her, the exhale twisting through the hair on the top of her head. "Would y'do something for me, love?" he asked, finally packing enough in as tightly as he could before he started folding the ends of the thin paper.

She gave a nod, now too transfixed on his hands to speak with an even tone.

"Would you give this a lick for me?" he asked, "We've gotta seal it up before I can twist it all up."

"Like, the paper?" she clarified, eyeing the open flap he was presenting to her with the joint grasped carefully between his fingers.

Harry hummed a confirmation. "There's glue on this edge like an envelope. Gotta make it sticky, then I can close it up for us."

"Um, okay," she muttered, placing a steadying hand on his wrist as he brought the almost-joint to her lips.

Parting her mouth, she swiped the tip of her tongue along the very edge of the paper. It didn't taste quite as artificially sweet as a regular envelope, but then again, everything was coated in that dusky scent that the herb folded inside held.

"Thank you, baby," he told her, pulling the joint from her lips as he did the closing motion of sealing the edge to the roll. She watched as he did the final step, twisting down the free edge into a tight swirl before he presented it with the filtered end between his fingertips. "All done."

In front of (Y/N) was the stereotypical joint that she had seen in the few films that showed as much. The paper was translucent in the way that she could clearly see it was filled from the inside with dark, green flakes. The filtered edge was tapered down into a small funnel, leaving the head of the roll trumpeting out, thick with the ground up weed.

"That was fast," (Y/N) muttered, wanting to reach out and touch, but too scared.

"I've gotten pretty good, I can't lie," he joked with her, pressing his lips to the back of her head. A paused settled again before he spoke to her, his head still dipped down as he murmured, "Y'still feeling alright, darling? Still want to, or do y'want to go to bed and watch a movie instead?"

Examining the joint in front of her, the thick scent of the weed surrounding her with the heat of Harry's chest at her back, she nodded her head. "I still want to."

Dropping an arm to wrap around her waist from behind, Harry hugged her to him for a moment. "Grab a jacket then, and we'll go out back for a second, yeah?"

"Outside?" she asked, turning in his hold.

"Don't want it stinking up the house, right?" He looked at her with a raised brow, already stepping towards the closet in search of his own coat. "We'll be fast, baby, 's alright."

(Y/N) supposed he was onto something, realizing that she had never been struck by the heavy scent like she would figure if he had smoked in his bedroom. As long as no one complained, it wasn't a bad idea to head outback for a second. It would be nice to take in deep breaths in between the smoke too, she figured.

With a set of slippers on her feet, and a thick hoodie on her body, she followed Harry out the back door, ending on the back patio. He sat on the stoop at her feet, patting the space next to him.

"Warm enough?" he asked, moonlight waning above their heads.

Snuggling closer to his side, she nodded her head. "I'm alright, thank you. Are you warm?"

Despite the unzipped jacket on his form and the thin t-shirt underneath, Harry gave her a small smile. "'M good, baby."

Flicking out a lighter and the joint from his pocket, he sparked the flame with a flick of his fingers.

He ran the spark over the trumpeted tip of the joint, his face warming in the firelight glow. "We'll take it easy tonight, yeah?" he murmured, concentration on his hands, "I don't think it'll take much to get y'there, so we probably won't finish this but we'll save the rest for another time if you want."

She watched as he rotated the edge of the joint over the flame, evenly burning the tip. "Are you not going to have any?"

"I will," he assured her, "But, I want to make sure I can take care of you. I won't be having too much."

Having a deja vu moment, (Y/N) was reminded of how it felt to be sitting in his lap as he fed her wine, keeping his own head clear while he let her run wild.

With the end of the joint glowing a warm orange, Harry put the lighter away. He ashed the very tip away, revealing cool lavender smoke twisting through the air with a heady scent clinging to the particles.

"Want the first go?" he asked, tipping the roll towards her in an offer.

"No, no," she answered immediately, "You first."

His smile was lopsided as he agreed, pulling the joint to his mouth. She watched as he tucked the filtered end between his lips, taking in a shallow inhale with the fiery end glowing to life. His chest expanded as he inhaled. He only pulled the roll away from his lips when his chest was puffed with smoke, a lingering second passing before he exhaled, plumes of dancing smoke drifting through the air. The heavy, thick aroma of the weed surrounded them.

(Y/N) couldn't pull her eyes from him as the smoke seeped from between his lips, a thin, violet filter hazing his features. The moon above seemed to catch each particle, drowning the scene in cool toned shades, muted and closed.

She waited for something to change in the way he looked, the way he acted. When the only thing he did was turn to her with a blink, once again offering the joint to her for a try, she wasn't sure what she had expected.

"Do y'think y'can do that?"

Her brows creased. "Do what?"

Amusement molded his features as he tipped his chin towards his offering. "Taking a hit," he stated, "Inhaling, and everything."

"I-I think so," she answered, carefully pulling the roll from his fingers. She hesitated before taking it to her lips, nervous to replicate his actions while he watched. "Do you feel any different?"

His smile was warm as he shook his head. "No—probably won't be too different tonight. I've built my tolerance pretty high, so I'll be fine."

"Oh," she sounded, feeling the slightest bit disappointed knowing that she wouldn't get the full experience of seeing him for what he was under the influence. Maybe sometime she could convince him to let it go. Focusing back on the joint, she stared intensely at the thin ribbon of smoke falling from the tip. "How do I inhale?"

"Jus' breathe in, baby," Harry laughed, throwing an arm across her shoulders. He tucked her against his side, warming her through her layers. "Only take a little bit at a time, though. And, if y'need to cough, jus' let it happen. You'll be alright."

Though it was only a few tiny rules, it felt like so much to remember, to keep track of while she was trying something so foreign.

"Wh-What if I take too much?" she muttered, worrying now the longer that she let it keep burning. She hoped she wasn't wasting everything he'd done for her.

Harry paused, rolling her question around his head before answering. "You'll be alright," he assured her, "Jus' don't want you to take too much, or anything, that's all."

The idea of taking too much scared her more than the other rules. She didn't know what too much was; how would she know if there was too much in her lungs, how would she know if she needed to pull back?

"Can you help me?" she murmured, worry lacing through her tone.

"I can hold it for you if you want?" he offered, though his option didn't seem so concrete as she had hoped.

"You can't do more?"

A small silence sat between them when he didn't answer right away. She looked to him, finding him looking at the joint between her fingers with a contemplative crease between his brows.

"I might have an idea that we can try," he started, flicking his gaze to match hers. "Y'trust me, right?"

Her nod was immediate.

A small smile folded his lips as he took the joint from her hand. He brought the roll to his lips, taking in another deep inhale with his eyes fluttering as his chest expanded. The cherry brightened as he pulled in the smoke. As soon as he pulled it away from his mouth, he spoke to her in a muddled voice, a small streak of smoke escaping through his nose.

"C'mere."

(Y/N)'s eyes rounded out in confusion. She was already right here, right?

The arm Harry had thrown across her shoulders slithered around her form until his palm came to a cradle on her cheek. He pressed forward then, his lips parting just enough for (Y/N) to get the hint.

He wanted to kiss her.

Fluttering her eyelids to a close, she leaned forward in an attempt to meet him halfway. Harry, with his hand on her cheek, stopped her short, a small distance left between them.

With her eyes opening to slits, she found him looking to her with his own gaze trained on her lips. His tender hand on her cheek shifted until his thumb was resting in the full of her bottom lip. Tugging just slightly, he parted her pout into a small gape. Harry ripped his head, leaning just that much closer with his pursed lips.

(Y/N) held her breath, her own mouth parted open as she felt soft plumes of smoke fan over her lips. His lips just barely grazed her own, pressing against the soft pillows as the smoke ghosted over her tongue, heady and thick.

Pulling away just enough with smoke still twirling around his features, he told her, "Breathe in, baby."

His voice was still heavy in his throat, emulating the way he spoke in the morning. The detail gave (Y/N) something to focus on as she instinctually closed her mouth as if biting down, the smoke now contained to a thin veil between them. He kept his hand steady on her cheek as she inhaled the way she saw him do, her chest bloating as she filled her lungs with the gifted smoke.

While she didn't feel the burning in her chest that she thought would accompany the smoke, she instead felt a thick heat in the back of her throat. She tried to mimic what she had seen Harry do, keeping the smoke in her lungs for a moment before exhaling, but she couldn't keep up when she felt her eyes begin to water.

Unable to handle it much longer, (Y/N) released her breath in clumsy pants, embarrassed to be reacting so intensely right in Harry's face. Though, all he did was stay steady in his spot by her, thumbing at her chin and coaxing her through it.

Tipping her head down, she finally coughed into her sleeve, eyes watering as she went with his hand falling to the slope of her neck.

"'S alright, baby, jus' let it out," he murmured, his voice a gentle soothe, "You'll feel better in a second, love."

By the time she regained her breath, there was a slight glaze over the back of her throat—not quite a tingle, but not entirely normal. Harry tipped his head down by then, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth with his palm spanning the shelf of her collarbones.

"Y'alright?" he murmured, ever patient when he pulled away to match her eyes.

Nodding her head, (Y/N) swallowed around her odd throat. "Was that alright?" she croaked, wet bottom lashes grazing the height of her cheekbone.

A fond smile molded Harry's features into soft curves. "Y'did jus' fine, lovebug. So proud of you for not getting scared," he praised her, thumb running over her warm skin, "Feels a little weird doesn't it?"

(Y/N) didn't have to think before she nodded her head, watching as he ashed the joint they had probably let burn for just a touch too long. "Really weird," she told him earnestly, "My throat feels funny, but that's all so far."

"Yeah? Want to keep going?" His eyes skated over her features, taking in every reaction, every minute stretch of her muscles.

While she was sure there was something that would hit soon, she still felt comfortable enough to take a little more from him. (Y/N) answered with a small nod.

"Same way we did before?"

Remembering the feel of his lips glancing across hers, the faint brush of the tip of his nose over hers, she could feel her skin simmering. "Yeah," she answered, hoping he thought the breathy quality of her voice was a lingering side effect of her coughing.

He didn't look entirely fooled when that sly smile touched his lips. "Alright," he said, bringing the joint back up to his lips, "We'll do a couple more, then I think you're done, baby. That alright?"

"That's alright," she murmured, "Thank you."

This time, watching him taking in the long drag, (Y/N) knew what to expect when he turned to her. She allowed him to hover close enough that he was almost kissing her as he blew out another plume of smoke for her to inhale. When she took her time filling her lungs with the smoke, Harry tipped his head and smeared his lips over her cheek, kissing down her neck.

She had more confidence this go around, coaxing herself through as Harry held her. That thick feeling in the back of her throat intensified as she closed her eyes, her chest expanding under her borrowed hoodie.

"Doing good, baby," he murmured into her ear, pulling away to match her gaze, "Go ahead and breathe out, love. I think you're good."

Following his direction, the lavender smoke twirled between them. Sucking in clean air, she filtered out her lungs. This time around, opening up her eyes to look up at the moonlight and the stars blinking over the inky canvas, things felt different. There was a bit of lethargy to her movements, even in the darting of her gaze. Her limbs felt as if there was extra weight attached, something heavy that slowed her before she even had a chance to move.

It was an odd feeling, something that she'd never experienced before or had anything of comparison to, but it wasn't unpleasant. She'd even say she liked it so far.

Harry seemed to pick up on the fact that she was edging into new territory as he watched over her, eyes sparking from amusement. "One more?"

"Yeah," she settled, her lips feeling looser the more she sunk into the moment, "One more."

"Wanna try by yourself?" he asked, taking his own small puff from the joint before he was angling it towards her.

"Not by myself, no," she argued, still scared to be in charge of her own dosing.

"I can hold it for you if y'want—take it back when you've had enough," Harry offered, letting a cloud leave his lips as he spoke.

"Okay," she nodded, taking on his offer.

"Open," he instructed, setting the filter of the joint between her lips, "Then jus' suck in, okay? You'll be able to feel it in the back of your throat, so stop if you've had enough and I haven't taken it back yet."

(Y/N) wrapped her lips around the filter, taking in Harry's directions with absent ears. She couldn't imagine he wouldn't be able to catch herself and her intake before he did.

Emulating what she'd seen from him before, she sucked in, her cheeks hollowing just enough to show off the shape of her cheekbones. The back of her throat warmed, embers igniting in a low burn. This was more than what Harry had given her before, but she didn't mind. This would be just enough,she figured.

At the perfect moment, Harry pulled away prompting her to breathe out the final cloud of smoke. He asked the joint once more, a small pile of grey dust having collected at their feet.

A few huffed coughs fell from (Y/N)'s lips, unused to the feeling of gathering the smoke directly from the source. Harry wrapped his arm around her, tucking her into his side as she eased through the final intake.

"How do you feel?" he asked her, voice low under the moonlight.

Looking around, (Y/N) tried to find the answer to the question.

It was an odd feeling, she decided. She felt both light and heavy at the same time, her head in the clouds with her body entirely anchored to the ground. Prickles poked at her skin, her limbs their own entity as she brought her hands into a bundle in her lap.

There was no other way to describe it other than the fact that she felt high.

"Good," she answered simply, "Different."

"You'll get used to it, my love," he murmured into her ear, pressing a soft kiss to the space just before.

"Do you feel different?" she asked, her voice heavy in her dry throat.

"A little," Harry explained, stubbing out the cherry of the joint, "But, I think 's time we get inside before either of us freezes, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yes."

It was when Harry let out a small huffed laugh that (Y/N) couldn't contain her own laughter. A loud peal fell from her lips. She wasn't even sure why she was laughing. That only made her laugh harder.

—————

"That is so funny," (Y/N) giggled to herself, clenching her hands in the fabric of her top lest she forget they were there. "Harry, did you see that?! It was funny!"

He was back in the kitchen, working over the stove with a pot of noodles boiling away and a cheesey sauce working on the other burner, leaving (Y/N) to watch this movie all on her own.

"Which part, baby?" he asked, his rumbling voice sounding farther away than she remembered.

(Y/N) blinked, watching the brightly colored animated characters go across the television screen. "The one that was just on! With the cat on the piano!"

How could he not have been paying attention? (Y/N) had never seen something so entertaining before, if she was being honest. This had to be her new favorite movie—she just needed to remember what it was called.

"Oh," he sounded, "I did see that, sorry, lovebug. It was very funny."

"Good," she responded absently, craning her neck to look over the back of the couch towards where he stood in the kitchen, "I'm so hungry, H."

"I know," he laughed, looking at her with his skin seemingly glowing and the smile of a prince. "'M almost done, okay?"

"How close is ‘almost’?"

His smile only widened at her line of questioning. (Y/N) mimicked that look without a thought.

"About five minutes. Can you wait that long?"

"I'll try." She couldn't help the pout that took her features. She had told him she was hungry what felt like hours ago, and she still was waiting for food. He wouldn't even let her help either, but she could argue that she would have eaten already if he just let her follow him to the kitchen.

Raising his brows, Harry fixed his attention back on the television screen. "Oh, look. The little cat is back, baby."

(Y/N)'s attention took a one-eighty as she did the same to face the TV once more. Harry was right, the kitten was back on screen. She didn't want to miss this.

The high had hit her at full force only minutes after Harry had taken her inside, setting off a firing squad of so many different feelings (Y/N) had never experienced before. She had so much energy, but at the same time she wanted to sleep. She wanted to kiss and hold her boyfriend, but also had to make a point to remember where her limbs were. She wanted to eat and drink as much water as she could, but couldn't find the attention to do either of those things. In the back of her mind, she even debated on writing some for the course paper she needed to work on before the midterm exam next month—her mind swirling with ideas, but they were all out of order.

How she decided on watching a movie instead of any of her other raucous ideas, she wasn't sure, but she was happy with the choice. This way, she was able to wrap up in the soft pink throw blanket that she left in his bedroom, sink into the new feeling, and make out with Harry when he was done cooking.

(It had really been Harry's prompting and prodding that led her to the conclusion that yes, she wanted to watch a movie and cuddle up with him while she ate, but he was happy with letting her assume it had been her own choice).

Time moved in mysterious ways since the high had hit, making it hard to decipher if it had been five hours or mere five minutes before Harry came to her with bowls of pasta and a buttery warm sauce poured over top.

"That looks so good, H," she bubbled, overjoyed at the sight of food, "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome, baby," he smiled, "Do you need more water?"

"No, just—Hold on." (Y/N) stumbled over her words, organizing her thoughts as steadily as she could and ultimately failing in favor of reaching towards Harry.

The second he settled into the cushion at her side, she had his jaw cradled in her palms, lips puckered and pressed against the corner of his mouth. A laugh bubbled through his lips, his smile felt under her kiss.

"I missed," she laughed along with him, pulling away to watch his eyes light up and creases form around his smile, "Sorry."

"'S alright," he beamed, cheeks still cradled in her palms, "Jus' slow down and try again."

Though she didn't exactly have the wherewithal to follow his directions, she definitely tried her best. This time, she felt as if she went slower as she leaned in, pressing her lips to Harry's. He reciprocated her affection in soft kisses, (Y/N) melting the longer she reveled in his touch.

Her skin practically sang everywhere he touched her, taking her back to her wonderings of if there would be something extra to their affection while under the influence. That prickling that she had felt in her limbs just when the smoke started taking effect, now only occurred when he ran his fingertips over her skin or held her hand in his. The buzzing made her smile into the kiss, the pinpoint tickling under her skin.

"What's got you so smiley, hm?" Harry asked against her mouth, pulling away despite the tender hold she had on his cheeks.

She beamed up at him with an easy grin, a rose colored glaze over her vision of him. "I just like touching you," she told him, "It tickles."

He raised his brows in reaction, biting back a smile. "It tickles?"

Watching the clear amusement on his face, (Y/N) couldn't help her own smile from turning into bubbling laughter. "Uh-huh," she barely answered, everything else dissolving around her laughter.

"Now, why are you laughing?"

Harry's investigation only proved to make the entire moment funnier to (Y/N) as she doubled over. Snuggling into his chest, she clung to him with her laughter muffled against his shoulder. "I don't know," she giggled, barely sure that the words even left her brain.

"Oh, lovebug," he crooned, wrapping his arms around her, "What am I going to do with you?"

A contented smile landed on (Y/N)'s features as she settled down. She burrowed against him, smushing her cheek on his shoulder and bundling her arms between their bodies. "Love me."

The tip of Harry's nose skimmed the top of her head. "I already do that," he told her, words fanning across the strands of hair crowning her.

"I love you too," (Y/N) answered simply.

The cryptic sense of time she held struck once again when Harry drew away from her. Her body had relaxed into his as if she had napped on him for hours, but she could have been nestled in his arms for a max of three minutes for all she knew.

"Are y'still hungry? Or do y'want me to save your noodles for later?"

With that, (Y/N) swore her mind had been blown. "You brought me food, I totally forgot!" Twirling too fast for her brain to keep up, she was almost dizzy by the time she saw the bowl of pasta Harry had set in front of her, complete with salty cheese layered on top just like she asked. "That looks so good, H! Thank you."

Harry gave her a small smile. "You're welcome, baby."

A minute sense of deja vu niggled in the back of her head for just a second, but (Y/N) chose to ignore it in favor of twirling her fork through the spaghetti noodles.

Had cheese always tasted this good?

—————

"Harry, are you listening? This song is beautiful."

"I know, love. 'S perfect, huh?"

The drawl of Harry's response had (Y/N) peeking up at him. She found him lying with his eyes closed, mouth parted in a small gape, though his hand on her back never slowed the soothing circle he had curated.

"Are you tired?" (Y/N) whispered.

A slight smile touched the corner of his mouth at her question. "A little. Are you?"

(Y/N) paused, evaluating herself to give him an honest answer. "Yeah. A little." His heartbeat was set to a soothing pace under her ear, slowing into a steady rhythm as if urging him to sleep. "Are you almost asleep?"

Though she could see his eyes were closed and his breathing was coming in soft puffs, Harry didn't slack on the duties he had taken on for the night. Since pulling her to bed and setting a playlist to softly sing through his bedroom, he had kept his cuddling hold on her firm and anchoring. He answered her every time she spoke to him and even crawled his way to the bedside table to skip the song whenever she started to whine over the melody.

"A little," he smiled, his voice a deep rumble, "Are you?"

Another pause. "Maybe," (Y/N) answered honestly. She could fall asleep right now if she wanted, but she also wanted to keep listening to music.

Harry hummed, his chest vibrating under her cheek. "Is there anything y'want before y'get sleepy? More water or a snack?"

What did she need before she could peacefully fall asleep?

Blinking her gaze up at him, she took in the tip of his nose, the curving pillow of his cupid's bow and the creamy texture of his skin.

"A kiss? Please?"

At that, Harry cracked his eyes open to peer down at her. "Y'haven't had enough of those yet?"

"Never," she answered, completely honest. Harry still plucked a smile onto his lips at her response.

"Can't blame you, darling—me neither."

Shifting between the sheets, Harry used his free hand to cup (Y/N) cheek and tip her chin as he dipped down. He sealed his lips over hers in a loving kiss, nothing more than a soft pressing of their lips. She swore she could feel every ridge, every dip, every plane of his touch, catalogued to her memory though she hoped she would recall it in less fuzzy detail.

"Love you," she murmured between breaths, immediately planting her lips across his once more.

Harry smiled into the contact. He broke the rhythm of her kisses even further when he drew away, ignoring the way she chased after him with a craned neck and puckered lips.

"I love you too, lovebug." His eyes scanned over her features not for the first time that night, though something softened in his gaze. "You had a good time tonight?"

Walking through the lavender veiled events, everything was just a bit hazy and herbal, (Y/N)'s smile only grew.

"Uh-huh," she beamed up at him, feeling herself settle into him that much more, "Thank you for showing me."

Thumbing at the height of her cheekbone, Harry surged forward to press a delicate kiss to the bridge of her nose. "'M happy y'feel good, darling. That's all I want when we try new things."

"I'm always happy when I'm with you."

(Y/N) blinked as she saw his face light up with a bubbly smile, creases appearing by his eyes, dimples thumbed into his cheeks, and a slight flush over his nose.

Had his smile always been that pretty?

—————

eeeek! so happy I could get a new aster blurb out for everyone this year! thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and lmk if yu have any ideas for anything you'd like to see!

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