how are you? like really? how are you? whats going on in your life?

I am not okay lately. Everything has changed in my life and I don’t know how to deal with it. I am losing people and I can’t change it or be a better person. I am not myself rn or I never was. It’s difficult. I feel like everything I do is wrong and I know it’s wrong but still there is no way to make it right.

I need time to change. I need time to focus on myself ig but it’s so hard. I can’t even deal with my own thoughts. Ig that’s why I have always been so much into other people’s thoughts.

I have got diagnosed with depression and it’s kind of a relief but also a curse because people have to deal with me and it’s difficult for them so they need space.

Idk if this makes any sense but that’s how I feel. Thanks for the question tho and thanks for your caring<3

It feels like reading is a bit... higher-stakes than it used to be?

You have to read because all the articles say it's good for your mental health, your empathy, and your attention span. You have to read to keep up with what people are talking about, otherwise you'll be left out of the conversation (but you shouldn't just jump on any viral bestseller bandwagon). You have to read because a friend (or just some person online) recommended this book really enthusiastically, and you don't want to ignore them, do you? You have to read (preferably indie) to support authors, publishers, booksellers, and libraries. You have to read (specific authors/books/subgenres) to prioritise marginalised groups and decentre privileged ones. You have to read because suddenly you can't keep up with all the bookstagram/booktok/Goodreads people who get through 100+ books a year. You have to read to get through your TBR, because you must get through your TBR. You have to read because everyone should read these classics at least once in their life. And of course, you have to read so you can still say you read.

I'm not saying these are necessarily bad goals (some of them are very good and important). And I hope I don't come off as sounding like a whiny privileged person having a tantrum at being asked to think about things other than themselves. But having all these things in the back of my mind generates pressure and makes reading feel more like a demand than a fun activity.

scans from a minizine from late last year! risograph with collage. part of a bigger project on trans relationships to the body thru cyborgs but i got distracted making pinups

more scans

i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw

Thinking about the time I lost a game of Overwatch and I was so mad about it that I genuinely considered getting into shit with the other team in chat and then realized that it was a colossal waste of my living breathing Human Time and uninstalled Overwatch instead because it was only making me angry.

And then thought about the OTHER time when I was on TikTok and realized I was Not Enjoying Myself and was, in fact, seeing so many sad videos and fake influencer ads that I felt Truly Despondent and then just…Deleted it.

Imo I want my social media /general media experience to be a pleasant break from real world and I get to decide what I get to cull to make that a reality for myself. I highly reccomended it! Life has improved considerably!

12yo me would've loved these wolves

this is yuri

Undivided attention

i know its deep but

who do you think will sit at your grave the longest?

Tbh I don’t really know. I don’t want people to think about how I left them yk. I don’t want people to cry about me. My life is not that important. So I actually don’t want anyone to sit at my grave and think about me lol

(I know this is probably not the answer you thought I would be but I am just telling the truth)

Anyway thanks for the question!!<3

concept: story playlist but it's entirely comprised of 90s/2000s pop songs I listened to as a kid/teen

(this is because I wanted to include one specific song but it didn't fit the vibe I was going for, so rather than have people thinking I have unsophisticated taste and/or don't know how to put a playlist together, why not make it intentional? This is my logic behind most of my crack fanmix choices)

“what’s wrong, talk to me”

“let’s fix this, i can’t lose you”

“we’ll work it out together”

Yes we've all heard aroace people complain about the 'you haven't met the right person' line. But to the idiots citing this as the reason aroace people 'aren't oppressed’: No, micro aggressions aren't what's oppressing us.

I could talk about corrective rape, but I'm not going to because that's not what scares me the most. The worst thing about being aroace (aromantic, and asexual to a certain extent) is that society is set up for couples.

Being aromantic is a crushing economic disadvantage. As a couple, you can save more. As a legal couple, you can borrow more. This puts Mortgages out of reach for a lot of aromantics. Adopting too. Although aro people can adopt, you must have a similar income to a couple, which again, rules out a lot of aros. Don't forget Immigration, spousal visas will never be an option for us.

Being poor and aro means you're denied housing, family, international movement, basically anything that allos of a similar income would get. And anything you can get, you'll have to jump through many more hoops for. But we can't fix this by legalising aro marriage, like we did for the gays. Until our society's economic system is completely revolutionised, we'll be waiting.

It's impossible to compare oppression. You can't objectively say which minority group has it worse and I really mean that. But also I'd rather be called slurs and hated by Christians all fucking day.

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

Your reward is a world made barren by your own hand