Your reward is a world made barren by your own hand

I stumbled on a post of yours listing your favorite kdrama melos and I hadn't realized until that moment that my fav kdramas (the smiles has left your eyes, just between lovere, secret love affair my ahjusshi etc) would all be classified together as distinct from other kdramas. I'm wondering what your thoughts are about Korean melodrama as a genre that is separate and distinct from not only other kdramas but also Western melodrama.

I apologize for how long it took me to post this response. This is a really great ask, touching on one of my favorite narrative subjects, and it required a bit of mulling before I could formulate an answer.

Melodrama as a genre umbrella is broad enough to include many different types of stories beneath its label. Sometimes the term "melodrama" is used specifically to differentiate from a "romcom", or to indicate that a drama (sometimes, but not always) will steer toward a tragic rather than happy ending. Sometimes it merely means that the subject matter is going to be "heavy" and "angsty" rather than "light and fluffy". The definition of the word in English typically connotes a story that includes sensational or exaggerated characters and themes, designed to appeal to emotion. In fact, if you start trying to parse what we mean when we describe something as a "melo" it might seem so general as to be unhelpful, but I believe we can narrow it down a little more.

The term "makjang" also very often gets applied to Kdramas, sometimes interchangeably with the word melodrama or as a sort of intensifier for melodrama, which is how I frequently use it. Although I would suggest that the way we use the word in the English-speaking fandom is somewhat different from its actual connotations in Korean. If you’re interested in specifics about what that term actually means and where it comes from this is a good blog post. And I think I’ve seen a couple other good definitions floating around if you do some googling.

If you’re more familiar with American television or fairly new to Kdramas, you might compare a makjang drama to a daytime soap opera. All the secrets and betrayals and star-crossed lovers you would associate with melodramas in general, but turned all the way up to 11. The most extreme end of the meo spectrum, verging on absurdity. This is generally what the uninitiated think all Kdramas are like. I frequently have people who don’t know much about the subject refer to Kdramas as “Korean soap operas”. I dislike this characterization because a) it ignorantly and rather Eurocentrically paints all Korean television with the same broad brush, when anybody with more than a passing familiarity knows that Korean television is just as varied in quality and content as any other country’s and b) the term “soap opera” has such a specific, culturally defined, low-rent connotation that I would have a hard time applying it meaningfully to non-Western television.

Not all melodramas are makjangs. Although all makjangs will be some variety of melodrama.

Rather than overwrought, exaggerated or sensational I prefer to use the word "heightened" to describe the subjects of a melo, since the word does not imply a value judgement and I think gestures at the central element of all story—but especially melos—that makes them so appealing in the first place. The emotions are “heightened”, the personalities are “heightened”, the actions are “heightened”. Everything is just a little bigger, a little sharper, a little louder than normal. They have deeper, more broad-reaching implications. They have greater scope and thematic resonance than what we generally experience in everyday life.

Even dramas that deal with fairly quotidian subjects (such as college, family relationships, workplace stress) can either have a more grounded/realistic bent, or a more melodramatic bent. Although I would argue that story because it seeks impose order and meaning on otherwise random or meaningless events through the magic of narrative structure will, by its very nature, necessitate certain type of melodrama. That is the quality of “heightened”-ness. Without it, we don’t really have stories at all. So, in that way this is very much a continuum, and not a set of discreet genre categories

As for the second part of your question, how Korean melodrama is distinct from the Western melodrama…I may not be entirely qualified to answer it, as my perspective is that of a Western viewer who is trying to define and categorize things as a non-native speaker with a distinctly Western literary critical background. However, I will attempt to give you my best answer based on the many dozens of dramas I’ve now seen and my own readings about Korean culture.

Because the single run mini-series with an average of 16-20 episodes is currently the currency of the realm, a lot of Korean television focuses on delivering a compact story with a limited cast of characters and bringing a single story arc to a conclusion. Which is different from most American network television which basically tries to stretch out endless seasons of a show whether the story actually calls for it or not. In the West this is changing because of streaming services, which make prestige television shows more and more desirable and common, resulting in more complete stories in limited runs. And it’s also changing in Korea which has been increasingly experimenting with preproduced, longer run and multi-season dramas. (This is of course a limited view of Korean television, which also has its share of long run weekly dramas or weekenders which have a different structure altogether, but I don’t know much about those so I won’t speak to them.) We’ll have to wait and see what style of television grows and thrives in the coming years.

While Korea has indisputably experienced an Americanization of its media in the past decades, there are certain things that are unshakably culturally construed, which appear in dramas again and again up to the present day. A lot of this peculiarly Korean sensibility I think can be tied to a few factors: the influence of Confucianism, the division of North and South, the country’s history of colonization, and a uniquely Korean relationship with emotionality typified by the concepts of han and heung.

I don’t want to wade too far into waters that are too deep for my shallow understanding, but a lot of the “fodder” so to speak of Korean melodrama comes from the specific history of the peninsula. The heavy emphasis on familial (especially parent/child) relationships and the specific way in which they are handle in Korean dramas requires a basic crash course in Confucianism to grasp. The concept of “filial piety” and different types of generational guilt or generational trauma might seem alien to a Westerner. Especially a Westerner from as young a country as the United States.

Because of the concept of “filial piety” and a strong emphasis on family background and blood ties, the recurrence of plots points like birth secrets, family registry falsification, the mistreatment of orphans, adopted children or the children of criminals/murders is much more frequent in Korean melodramas than Western television and treated with different weight within in the culture, and I find this can sometimes be off-putting or confusing if you don’t understand where some of these hang-ups come from. It’s also important to remember that South Korea is a relatively young Constitutional Republic with an extremely recent and troubled political past. More recent than the Japanese Occupation which left so many scars on the collective cultural consciousness, more recent even than the Korean War and the division of North and South Korea. Also, it doesn’t hurt to recognize that, while social stratification is an issue everywhere and that there is no culture in the world that doesn’t have some kind of class system, strongly Confucianism influenced societies have engrained into their history a type of caste system that many Western viewers are completely unfamiliar with.

I’m not saying that you have to be immersed in Korean culture or history to understand and enjoy dramas, but it certainly helps to understand some of the nuances or even troubling elements that you will detect while watching. And it might be a good attitude to adopt, that if you find something off-putting or weird in a character’s reaction or the behavior of a particular group of people in a drama, to ask yourself if there is some kind of shared cultural context that you might be missing to explain the difference. A lot of what I’ve learned about Korean history and culture over the past few years has come from detecting such differences or such intellectual discomfort and doing my own research to find out why these things are coming up again and again.

Moving away from structure and even just cultural context, I do think there is something really unique in the “feel” of Korean dramas that isn’t present in other media I’ve watched. A special kind of relationship “raw” emotion that I think is integrally and inescapably Korean. I think this has to do with the concepts of jeong, han, and heung.

Jeong has to do with a sense of community and communal love, which I think might be the most “visual” of these three “indescribable” emotional concepts. You can see it in the special weight given to sharing food, or in drinking together. You can see it in the family that the neighborhood of Ssangmun-dong in Reply 1988, that creates an umbrella of bonds which extends far beyond blood relations. It’s something that generates a special kind of warmth that I look to Kdramas for specifically. Of course, when an ideal like this is damaged or missing or twisted beyond recognition it can cut deeply and leave behind irreparable scars. Which, I think, might explain why so many romantic heroes and heroines in melodramas come from places of profound social isolation (people like Moo Young in TSHLYE and Gang Do in Just Between Lovers) or from severely broken homes.

Perhaps more relevant to the discussion of melodramas in particularly, han has to do with a sort of internalized trauma, or grief that one carries with them throughout their lives. It can be a broader cultural trauma (like the societal scars left behind from the Japanese Occupation) or something more personal (Like the loss of a child or a broken relationship). I found this quote which I think explains the feeling and its relationship to Korean media well:

Long-term foreign residents here note a tendency of people to wallow in or enjoy the sadness, in an almost romantic way. There is a deep strain of melancholy in Korean culture, and this is expressed in the modern age through sad songs, films and TV dramas that offer an unrelenting stream of tragic heroes, unrequited love and bittersweet memories – most likely contributing to the appeal of Korean pop culture abroad.

[Korea: The Impossible Country’ by Daniel Tudor (2012)]

Heung is somewhat less relevant to our discussion of melodramas, although it is interesting and much more evident I think in other examples of Korean media, but it is the almost manic reaction or counterpoint to han. A sort of overflowing, irrepressible sense of pure joy. And I totally recommend you go out and read about this stuff yourself, I'm probably just slaughtering these concepts trying to summarize them in my feeble way.

It the special cocktail of all three of these "feelings" that give Korean dramas (for me, Korean melodramas in particular) that special addictive quality that made me fall so deeply in love with them. That tacit permission to feel things, to feel them deeply, even overwhelmingly and the catharsis that goes along with that. That is the special sauce, the “heightened”-ness I mentioned before that takes the mundane and makes it magical.

Sorry this got so out of hand, but I hope it was an interesting read and worth the wait. Thank you so much for the ask.

Jona

Day 15 - Scars

Obi-Wan was a trained negotiator and diplomat. As a Jedi, it was his duty to do whatever it took to successfully complete his missions. To do as well as possible.

Appearances were important. Vast majority of the people he worked with looked at him before anything else. Having Jedi help that looked nice, looked pleasing, could add just a little more smoothness to a negotiation, a better atmosphere that lent itself to earnest compromises, instead of lies and planned backstabbings.

Obi-Wan had seen the differences. Between people who looked like him or Qui-Gon versus other Jedi that didn’t look… as pretty to the rest of the galaxy. Between his master who had just mucked through swamps and didn’t bother to change boots or take leaves out of his hair versus his master after a good rest and shower.

Right or not, that was how the galaxy worked. It was a small sacrifice to pay attention to an appearance he did not care about in exchange for better negotiations that led to entire populations living better lives. So Obi-Wan did what was needed to look pretty enough for people to want to listen to him.

Scars weren’t pretty. Not to most of the galaxy.

“Honestly general, you get injured far too much. I don’t care if this isn’t your saber arm. You need to be a little more careful!” Jag reprimanded as he finished bandaging Obi-Wan’s arm.

“I was, Jag. I made sure that it hit the best option out of some bad possibilities,” Obi-Wan placated.

He heard a snort from a few cots down.

“I saw you avoid getting your face scratched, then going the extra ship-span by putting your arm in the way,” Cody scoffed from where he was getting treated.

“What,” Jag said, very much too unamused to ask.

“Yes. I blocked my face, it was the best option I had. Minimized risks,” Obi-Wan explained.

“All due respect, general, that’s one of the worst reasons for an injury I’ve ever heard. You’re still your pretty little self with a few face scars, don’t worry,” Jag said, rolling his eyes. His tone made it clear that he thought Obi-Wan’s vanity was one of the most ridiculous things he’d ever dealt with.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes back.

“While, yes, I wouldn’t particularly mind superficial scars, the rest of the galaxy feels quite different. This war will end. You and your brothers will be free to live much lower stakes lives and I will go back to being primarily a diplomatic envoy. A scar on my bicep will be covered up, a scar on my face, however, will damage my ability as a negotiator,” Obi-Wan huffed.

“That sounds like a load of osik, sir,” Wooley glibly shouted from the other side of Cody. Obi-Wan laughed at the comment.

“Yes, I quite agree with you there. Unfortunately, Negotiations do go better when the meddling Jedi is nice to look at. The prettier I look to them, the more willing parties are willing to work with each other. Neck, wrists, hands, face. None of those can be scarred or I start to look less nice to most, everything else I cover up,” Obi-Wan explained.

The medbay was silent for a moment. At least physically. In the force, Obi-Wan felt a sudden maelstrom of confusion and outrage, quickly being swallowed by a wave of protectiveness.

“Going to agree with Wooley there, sir. That’s a bunch of osik you shouldn’t be concerning yourself with. If they don’t like you scared then they can come try to be generals,” Jag growled out as he finally went back to checking Obi-Wan over. Hopefully this meant he could leave soon.

“You know we don’t care about that, right general?” Cody asked, voice carrying surprisingly strong despite its soft tone.

“Of course I do, commander, but that doesn’t change how many people out there do care,” Obi-Wan said.

Cody just continued to stare at him for a moment, eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

“You already have this integrated into your fighting style, don’t you?” Cody asked, sounding somewhat defeated. Obi-Wan felt his cheeks flush.

“Er, well, that is… not completely inaccurate?” he said, somehow feeling like a crechéling caught sneaking into the archives again.

Cody and Jag exchanged a series of looks that ended with them both nodding at each other before Cody addressed him again.

“Don’t worry, general, we’ll take care of this,” Cody said, confidant and determined.

“That’s… good,” Obi-Wan decided, not entirely sure what they thought they could do about a sight-based galaxy judging appearances, “I suppose I should be off and leave you all to it, then?” he said, moving to get off the cot and out of the medbay.

“Oh no you don’t, sir,” Jag said, pushing him down by the shoulders until he was lying on the bed. Obi-Wan sputtered and tried to push himself back up, “There was actual muscle cut, and I want to do a few more things, sir. Either you can lay yourself down there or I can strap you down.”

Obi-Wan knew, unfortunately, that Jag’s ultimatum was very literal.

Yandere-chan’s Bizarre Adventure (JoJo’s x Yan Sim Crossover Concept)

I’ve got quite a few fic ideas on my plate already but this was floating around my mind the other day. Background

It would begin just after Kira’s initial defeat at the hands of Koichi and Jotaro. However, when Kira makes his escape to Aya Tsuji’s Cinderella beauty salon, rather than finding Kosaku Kawajiri there, his victim is instead Ayano’s dad. The premise being that he and Ryoba had gone vacationing in Morioh (to visit a relative?) for their then honeymoon and he had heard rumors about a woman who could seemingly change one’s face, hoping to escape Ryoba permanently or at least for a little while. Kira escapes just the same from the Joestar gang but now has a new problem on his hands: his current identity is leaving with Ryoba the following day back to Buraza. Quickly discovering Ryoba’s disposition towards being disobeyed, and not wanting to make a scene to potentially attract undue attention, Kira is forced to admit defeat and follow a very pregnant Ryoba home. Yoshikage Kira’s desire for a ‘quiet life’ has been shattered. Seething with the humiliation of being beaten horribly by Star Platinum and Reverb along with being forced to leave his ancestral home Kira tries to blend in in Buraza with Ryoba but finds it impossible to satiate his urges with her constant eye on his behavior. But before he can use Killer Queen’s ability to blow her away it seems that they’ve returned back home in time none too soon as Ryoba goes into labor; with his ‘wife’ weak from giving birth to a daughter, Kira takes out his frustration on his situation by detonating a bomb he placed in her hospital wristband. Brimming with confidence that he is free to begin his life anew as he sees fit Kira is waylaid by Megami’s dad before he has a chance to leave the hospital. Despite the fact that he cannot see Killer Queen, or know that the man in front of him isn’t Ryoba’s old husband, Megami’s dad is convinced that something highly suspicious is going on given that a long term asset of Saikou Corporation’s is now a pile of ash (save for a lone hand) in the maternity ward. On pain of being brought in for ‘questioning,’ Mr. Saikou offers Kira a deal: tell him everything and perhaps they can strike up a business partnership, to which Kira reluctantly agrees. Once all is said and done he is faced with a choice… either submit, watch over the remaining investment (Ayano), and live comfortably to do whatever he’d like or meet as grisly an end as Mr. Saikou’s hired men can imagine. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth Kira agrees to these terms and waits to arrange Ryoba’s funeral. Meanwhile, the Joestar gang are informed by Reimi Sugimoto that she can no longer feel Kira’s presence. Months go by and the investigation into Kira’s whereabouts bring up dead ends. The logical conclusion, of course, is that Kira has skipped town but they have no clue where to. This is perhaps the part I’m least certain about. I can’t imagine Jotaro or anyone else just giving up on finding Kira, not when they’ve seen what Killer Queen can do, but I’d imagine that they would eventually have to put things on hold. For the sake of canon welding we will go with the idea that this butterfly allows Dio’s and Pucci’s plan to unleash Green Baby on the world is actually stopped here (I’m less clear about the events of Vento Aureo but consider another butterfly being that Giorno never gets a Requiem form for Golden Experience). I think that the Joestar gang actually capturing Yoshihiro for a while also makes sense to try and grill him for information, but he eventually manages to escape, taking the arrow with him to find Kira. I’m less clear at this point on how he manages to find Kira in Buraza but find him he does. Ayano’s childhood is even lonelier than canon. Without her mother to dote on her, and her ‘father’ treating her as a distant afterthought (she becomes nothing more than a lure for victims for Kira as he plays up the ‘single father’ angle), she is left primarily to her own devices and totally rudderless. Kira has no answers for her about her condition and is just as much of an empty shell as she is - or seems to be, at any rate. As such she goes out of her way to befriend others as a means to cope; I’m going with the interpretation she isn’t totally emotionless and more the idea that she is just severely stunted. This is where another big break from canon occurs: there are no rivals. Instead, the cast that would have been Yan Sim’s antagonists are her childhood friends instead; Muja and Mida come later as would-be victims of Kira’s she convinces him to spare. Kira’s luck lets him come out on top once more as Yoshihiro’s ghost’s reappearance into his life, however that comes about, coincides with Joseph Joestar’s death. Unable to track Yoshihiro’s spirit with Purple Hermit the Joestar gang is even more at a loss on how to find the elusive killer. With Yoshihiro’s reappearance, and the entirety of Saikou Corp at his back, Kira settles once more into his ‘quiet life’ even if it’s not quite how he envisioned it. It’s during this time that, surprised that Kira hasn’t found a way to ‘accidentally’ get rid of Ayano, Yoshihiro takes a liking to his ‘granddaughter’.. and whom he will ultimately give a Stand to (Bad Romance) to help ensure Kira stays safe, a fate that will befall all of Ayano’s close friends as well. Now with something in common between the two of them Kira begins to take more of an interest in Ayano, going so far as to become a Lisa Lisa or Joseph figure to her. Ayano latches onto this amount of affection, however, and comes to genuinely care for ‘dad’ and his ‘eccentricities.’ How the Joestar gang would make it to Buraza I’m unclear - I like the idea of Megami being a mole for them so that she can put a stop to Kira’s reign of terror, though with the stipulation they leave Ayano be - but one of the ones who has joined the investigation at this point is Shizuka (it’s a shame Araki… literally did nothing with her character in canon), who becomes a transfer student at Akademi and perhaps even befriends Ayano. Or at least she is until Shizuka befriends a boy, Taro Yamada, who’s managed to bring out intense emotions for her for the first time she can remember… Here’s a hypothetical stand list for Ayano and the rest of the main cast. Ayano Aishi Stand: Bad Romance, Bad Romance Born This Way (Requiem) Bad Romance looks exactly like she does in the Easter egg mode she appears in but her function is different. Rather than being a punchghost like The World or Crazy Diamond she is instead able to master any weapon by virtue of touching it, which includes how best to aim them, how much to grip a handle, etc. Bad Romance Born This Way shows the influence on Ayano’s life she has experienced under Kira it functions similarly to Killer Queen’s Sheer Heart Attack form: it is coated in a nigh impenetrable metal. Osana Najimi Stand: Hot N Cold Effectively what it says on the tin. Despite the fact that Osana can create arcing flames or freeze her enemies on the spot, her biggest downside is the warming up or cooling down periods that have to occur before she becomes combat effective. She is even more vulnerable given that it also takes a considerable amount of time for her to switch between the two. She is arguably the weakest out of all the Stand users in Buraza given the above. Amai Odayaka Stand: Feeling This

Amai’s Stand is probably the most innocuous, at least on a shallow analysis. It can do nothing more than effect the senses and she has mostly used it to enhance the taste buds of those sampling her cooking. However, this is more or less a trap to lull her enemies into a false sense of security. When initiated in combat, Amai will use Feeling This to effectively shut down someone’s five senses, to the point where they are unable to hear, see, or even feel if they’re close to her. In the absence of sensory input the brain will begin to create its own information, leading them to experience intense and vivid hallucinations that if aren’t reversed soon after they take hold can lead to permanent mental scarring. Kizana Sunobu Stand: Come as You Are

Kizana’s Stand does not offer her any offensive capabilities whatsoever but it is extremely powerful nonetheless. Incorporating the as-of-now unexplored ‘persona’ mechanic her Stand allows Kizana to create a powerful illusion that hypnotizes those around her to believe that she is anyone she chooses to imitate - the only catch being that said person must be a woman. This ability has made her indispensable to Ayano as a spy. Oka Ruto Stand: Black Sabbath

Cliche as it might be, Oka’s power involves manipulating shadows, though this is more versatile than one might at first realize. Despite the cute, Heartless-style appearance Oka’s Stand allows her to use shadows a means of teleportation between several locations as well as spying on others.  At night she gains an additional ability, along with making the first two that much stronger, that allows her to use shadow puppetry as a means of attacking others’ shadows - and what happens to them there also effects the person regardless. Asu Rito Stand: Jumpin’ Jack Flash

As a runner Asu’s Stand ability seems quite fitting: it is integrated, and so is not outwardly visible, but it allows her to achieve incredible speeds that few can match. While she might not have enhanced strength, any hit coming at you at about 100 miles per hour is going to be packing a nasty wallop no matter how you slice it. Muja Kina Stand: TLC

Unlike Josuke’s Crazy Diamond, Muja’s Stand can’t actually heal you. Indeed, it actually does the exact opposite (despite its ironic name). Muja is arguably one of the most combat effective Stand users that Ayano’s side has given that her friendly exterior hides an ability that causes decay and rot from the inside out. Though she can only do it one victim at a time, and at a slow rate at that, there’s nothing nastier than having your heart, lungs, or liver slowly shut down on you. Mida Rana Stand: Total Eclipse of the Heart

Ever wonder what mind broken slaves might be like, except even worse? Mida’s Stand has got you covered. Functionally speaking, its ability is on the surface quite simple: it passes along a spiritual virus, of sorts, that sleeps unless its user wills it to manifest. At that point Mida has access to an army of ‘love zombies’ that will heed her beck and call. Pity it only allows the infected to pass it on to only one person after coming down with it themselves. Osoro Shidesu Stand: Eye of the Tiger

Ayano’s enforcer, of sorts, and arguably the physically strongest Stand on her side. Much like Star Platinum, Eye of the Tiger is a Stand whose main ability is to punch things incredibly hard and fast. The secret, however, is that Osoro’s Stand, just like how the Hulk who gets stronger the angrier he becomes, becomes more powerful the more it is hit, storing the kinetic energy to unleash against its opponents. Hanako Yamada Stand: Quiet Riot

If Hanako isn’t upset she can’t summon Quiet Riot. Despite the fact that her Stand is uniquely tied to the emotions she feels at a given time, it would be unwise to not take her very seriously. When she is, watch out, because Hanako’s power revolves around using her voice to create incredibly destructive sound waves. Megami Saikou Stand: She Blinded Me with Science

I’m of two minds as to what Megami’s Stand might do. On the one, it would be traditional to keep one of some of the most powerful enemy Stand’s powers as being time-based; it would be interesting to incorporate ‘resetting’ things like how we can choose to restart a game on a meta level. The problem is that Araki has effectively explored every avenue for time-based powers in JoJo’s and it might not feel that interesting. On the other, perhaps it might be similar to Ayano’s Bad Romance in that She Blinded Me with Science might allow Megami to construct machines from the environment around her at any given moment so long as metal is present. This would allow her a versatility to what she can do and it might be different each time as it depends on what she’d need at any given moment. The only issue is that it doesn’t really feel very ‘grand’ for someone who is meant to be strongest opponent Ayano could face in canon. So… thoughts? I’d be interested to see if anyone had any ideas on how to expand parts of the plot, what Taro’s Stand might look like, or anything else you could think of. 

Bye Bye, Decade!

Like I said, I like doing these things. ✧٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧

First things first, did you have a good year?

Uhm, haha, to be honest, no! No, I don’t think this year was one for the record. It was one of the harder years I’ve experienced in the past decade, especially the latter half. I’ve said it recently but I haven’t felt right since May/June.

Lost some spring in my step this year. Still trying to find it again.

How old did you turn this year?

I turned 30! Pretty neat, actually, felt super...idk, official? Felt good to be out of my 20′s, anyway.

Do you feel your age?

To be honest, I don’t really know what “30″ is supposed to feel like. I’ve never made a huge deal about my age, I just act how I feel any given moment of any given day.

Did your appearance change in anyway?

I went full mohawk this year, but that was earlier in the year. I’m growing my hair back out, now.

It’s looking a little untamed, actually. ƪ(‾ε‾“)ʃ

If you traveled, where did you go?

I went to Chicago over the Summer.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

I’m too lazy to get up and get it but I got a “Mama Bear” shirt for myself a couple months ago and it’s currently my favorite piece of clothing, just because that’s...well, that’s the best part about myself, I think. Being the Mom friend.

What song sums up this year for you?

“LIFE” by HEALTH.

If I can ever stop cutting myself, I want to get the lyric, “Life is strange, but it’s all we’ve got,” over the scars.

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

VOL.4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR by HEALTH

What was your favorite movie of the year?

Oh, pfft, Captain Marvel!!! Or Endgame, even though it shattered my heart into a billion pieces.

Still love you, Thanos. (♥ω♥*) Idc what the rest of the fandom says.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

Yeah, Brie Larson. I mean she was amazing in Skull Island but I watched that movie for King and Tom, but she was 10000/10 choice for Carol and finding out she’s so pro-feminism and just civil rights in general really made me fall for her in a big way.

Favorite new TV show?

The Mandalorian really surprised the fuck out of me for holding my attention, and though I’ve only seen the first ep, the new Harley Quinn show was really funny.

Oh, Bless the Harts, too. Surprisingly hilarious.

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

I don’t ship, but I got deeper into DC this year, really integrating it alongside Marvel now and that’s been nice. ♥

What food did you try for the first time?

Oh man, I tried these uhm...Chinese-style pancakes (savory, not sweet) in Chicago and right now I can’t think of what they were called but it made me regret my baby tummy, because I wanted to just sit and eat them until I exploded.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

Nah, I don’t think I did. Nothing comes to mind anyway.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

Well, just over the weekend was Bestie’s birthday, and I was pretty pleased with how that turned out. ( ᐛ )و She seemed happy, anyway!

What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

(」゜ロ゜)」i...don’t know. Not cut myself?

Did you develop a new obsession?

New? I don’t think so, I’m pretty...hm. Idk the word, I hyper-focus on my stuff and that’s pretty much where I sit.

To put it in a perspective, I’m fine playing with my same ol’ toys, I don’t tend to go back to the toy box to find new ones. Besides, with the fandoms I’ve got, there’s always some new, under-appreciated gem waiting to surge back up to the forefront.

Did you vote?

Nah, ‘rents tried but I couldn’t be fucked. I worked.

I’ll go out for 2020.

Did you move?

(;¬_¬)

Did you get a job?

Yeah. Not much to write home about, there.

Did you get a pet?

I did not! I had the opportunity to get half-sphynx kittens from a friend but Phoenix doesn’t get along with other cats and I refuse to put her through that again. She was miserable the first time I tried and with my current living arrangement and not being home to monitor...it wouldn’t have worked.

Do you regret not doing anything?

Like every other goddamn year of my life, I should have written more.

Do you regret doing something?

Actually, yeah. I thought I didn’t have anything to put here, I tend to lead a pretty well-thought out life, I think about everything before I do it, but I do have a regret from this year.

I regret giving up on writing as much as I did.

I didn’t have to, but I did. I knew I’d look back on the last year and have this regret and I was right. I kicked ass at the beginning of the year and then I let my environment influence me to give up when I could have, should have, kept going.

Have you done anything that scared you?

Nah, that’s not who I am. Mom friend, remember?

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

Haha...yeah. Grudge holder with infinite memory storage and rumination/over-thinking habits and a god-awful family.

Bad combo.

Did you lose anyone close to you?

I don’t have enough people close enough to me for this to really apply, so no.

Did you fall in love?

With fictional characters? Yep.

With a real person? No.

Did you fall out of love?

No one to fall out of love with, unless you want to count re-reading the Civil War and me glaring at Steve and Tony for a month and a half.

Did you start a new relationship?

There’s new characters lining the walls of my brain but otherwise, nah, son. Reality and I don’t really cross paths as far as “relationships” go.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Yeah, I want a chance to redo this writing thing. Every year I let go without doing anything productive toward my goals of either enjoying my fandoms or working on getting published seems like such a waste to me and I hate it.

I work a job I hate, I’m stuck financially, and the one thing I know I want to do with my life...I’m not doing. It’s so fucking stupid it makes me cross-eyed when I think how often I just shrug and not do shit.

What was the best moment of the year for you?

It’s going to sound stupid, but Captain Marvel was a huge deal for me. I cried watching the red carpet premiere and I cried twice in the theater. I love Carol, I’ve loved Carol for years and years and I never thought the MCU would do well enough for me to get a movie that was all hers. To see her up there, to see Brie Larson portraying her and doing it so well, it was a huge deal to me. It still is.

I still feel that excitement.

What was the worst?

I’m not elaborating anymore than to say May/June was the lowest I’ve been in a long, long time.

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

I haven’t cut myself this year.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

That just when you think you can’t take it anymore, that you’re at the end of the rope...there’s still a little left. You can still go a little further.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

Haha, yeah. I understand Steve Rogers more the second read-through of Civil War than I did the first time I went through it.

I still would have hit him in the head with his own shield, but, you know, the scales are more even between him and Tony, now.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

Nah.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

Lol. I made a resolution to write every day at the beginning of the year and for three solid months, yeah, I wrote every day.

But then I stopped.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

Write.

I mean it. Write.

Take care of yourself.

Aim for Two Years.

Get back on medication.

What do you wish for others for the coming year?

Happiness. It’s cheesy, maybe even cliche, but it’s the hardest thing in the world to get and harder to hang onto. And in the end, really it’s all that matters.

What do you wish for yourself?

The same. Happiness.

It’s about time I got some.

Yui Sasaki

Fandom; Boku no Hero Academia

World Summary; Takes place in a modern day society where humans have adapted to have superpowers, called ‘Quirks.’ due to this, there’s an uprising of villains and criminals, and so heroes are an integrated part of society. Main narrative takes part in UA academy, more specifically it’s department of heroics. Designed for kids who want to have a career as a hero, and helps to train their quirks. 

- Cori here! Read this profile and review under the cut.

Name; Yui Sasaki

Aliases; Kore (Hero name; Alternate name for Persephone, more commonly used in Japan), Seven (Villain Alias; she hasn’t been recorded to have anything defining, so she’s labelled with a number to keep track of her.)

Gender; Female

Sexual Orientation; Panromantic (Unsure of Sexual Orientation)

Age; 15

Birthdate; 21 March

Occcupation; 1st year Student at Yuuei

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Alignment; Lawful Good

Group/Organisational Affiliations; Yuuei Department of Heroics, Class 1A, later on the League of Villains

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Family; Chiyo Sasaki (Mother, 40 years old, vocal coach.)

             Jun Sasaki (Father, 42 years old, airplane mechanic.)

              Hisa Fujioka (Grandmother, 73 years old, shrine maiden turned housewife.)

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Height + Weight; 5'6, 123lbs

Build; Athletic, built for speed and agility. Lean and has mucles, but not well defined.

General Appearance; Yui has a lean, but still soft frame, with a Japanese complexion and a softer, round face. She has a smaller chest and hips, with freckles and birthmarks scattered on the bridge of her nose, cheeks and arms, with scarring on her knees and hands from childhood accidents. She has honey brown hair just below her shoulders (Later cut off into a bob and fringe style), and amber eyes. She commonly wears clothing that she finds comfortable, such as old jeans and sweaters, but has a sweet spot for Harajuku fashion.

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Personality; Yui is an extremely selfless person, reaching the point of sacrificial. This causes her to be very compassionate and tries to be understanding, She has a quiet sort of courage, that suits her to situations where thinking on your feet is required, and is a top pick for disaster scenarios and hostage situations. She’s a cheerful person, but in a muted manner, and is enjoyable to be around, no matter the person (most of the time). She’s very honest, sometimes bruatally, and is a go-to for personal problems. Unfortunately she prefers to bottle up hers and others problems instead of letting it out, resulting in a nasty breakdown every so often. She’s creative, but her academics could use some work, but she’s a very good planner and is good at thinking on her feet. 

Motivations; Her desire to help as many people as she can, and to do her parents proud. 

Life goal; To be seen as a dependable hero who can help in whatever situation. 

Best Quality; A strong desire to improve herself

Worst Quality; Too selfless to the point of sacrificial, one to bottle things up, resulting in a breakdown.

Fears; Being there, but not being able to do anything. Deep water and drowning. 

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Backstory; Yui grew up in a happy, comfortable home, the only hiccup being the stillbirth of her to-be younger sister. She developed her quirk at age 4 (the average), and while it’s a strong quirk, she never really worked on improving it. She knew that she wanted to help people for a career, and was considering police work, before witnessing a live fight between a high tier villain and a hero, and changed her mind, committing herself to improving her quirk, in order to pass the UA entrance exam. She managed to make it in on a thin margin, and was sorted into class 1A. 

Later Storyline; Yui is threatened and blackmailed into joining the League of Villains, by exploiting her selflessness and relationships. She disappears from her dorm room, and is classified as a missing person or runaway, leaving no trails behind. She’s recruited as an informant (giving as much info as she can remember on locations and people) and used as a warehouse guard and occasional tagalong for external missions. Unbeknownst to them, she’s working with a group in the organisation in order to slowly and quietly take it down from the inside. 

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Quirk; Green Thumb. Allows her to grow plants and flowers from any surface that she’s touching with either her bare hands or feet. The quirk draws on her energy and stamina to grow her plants, and she needs to stay hydrated in order for them to stay healthy. This means that if she uses her quirk too much, she runs out of energy and stamina, eventually passing out. She commonly uses tendril-like plants for fighting, but is adapting to use different plants in her battle strategies. 

Weaknesses; Her stamina problems, and her pollen allergies, which cause her asthma to flare up. Not the best for a plant based quirk.

Hello there! Thank you for your patience while I worked on this review. The first thing I’m going to say is that something like Yui’s powers would probably go better at the top of her profile, near the rest of her basic info. I spent the entire first read-through of this profile wondering ‘what the heck is her superpower??’! Appearance-wise, I like the description of Yui’s face and body (pretty jealous of a fifteen-year-old being 5′6 though, haha). I’m really not sure what you mean when you say she has a ‘Japanese complexion’, however. Based on Yui’s name I can guess that her nationality is Japanese, but that’s not really a helpful term for describing someone’s skin. Japanese people can have a wide variety of complexions! I’d also like to see you add some descriptive words to the shape of Yui’s facial features, like her eyes and nose. We’re talking about a character from an anime–their eyes can be any shape under the sun, from perfect circles to a completely horizontal line and everything in between. Play with your character’s design a little! Yui’s personality falls a little flat for me, based on what I have here, and I think it would benefit from some extra depth and details. There are a lot of characters out there who are cheerful and compassionate, who hide their own struggles–what can you do to help set Yui apart from similar characters? Try envisioning her talking with her best friend, a stranger, and a person that she hates. How does she interact with each one of these people? What if that person is coming to her with a problem–how far would Yui go to help each one? As far as social interactions go, brutal honesty is a trait that often frustrates and alienates people, even close friends and family. People who say they are ‘brutally’ honest usually don’t have much tact, and that makes them seem insensitive and rude. So give me some more details here–tell me what she’s willing to lie about to spare someone’s feelings. If Yui is so selfless that she would sacrifice her own emotional health for someone else, why would she risk hurting someone’s feelings? This is a trait that could help make Yui more three-dimensional, but it will need some extra consideration on your part.

What kind of emotions does Yui typically refuse to show other people? Does she try to hide her anger and frustration, or her sadness? Worse, does she try to hide EVERY negative emotion? What happens when it finally gets to be too much? The first half of Yui’s backstory is a fine ‘normal’ backstory for a character like this, but the mention of a stillborn sibling made me stop and think. This kind of thing wouldn’t really be treated like a ‘hiccup’, in my opinion. Losing a baby is, of course, harder on the parents, but to a potential older sibling the loss can be just as devastating. I don’t know how old your character was when this happened, but I speak from personal experience here–I was six when my mom miscarried, and it tore me up to the point that I started acting out in school. Having to deal with death at a young age is not something that everyone goes through. It’s something that heals with time, of course, but I think you’ve got a good opportunity here to explore how the loss of her sibling could have affected Yui, even into her teenage years. The latter half of Yui’s backstory definitely takes an interesting turn, but there are a few parts of it that seem to conflict with what I already know about your character. What she’s involved in with the Villain League is basically a hostage situation–something that you mentioned she was suited for in her training. What kind of training has she received to prepare herself for this kind of scenario? Was it always her intention to be a double agent? How well is she trusted by members of the League, being a new recruit? All in all, you’ve got a good start for a profile here. What it really needs now is some extra ‘spice’–something to help make Yui an interesting and unique character. I hope you’ll be able to get some ideas from my thoughts and questions! Good luck with your writing! ~Cori

@evertonem prompted: Adam proposing to Nigel

Adam had been dating Nigel for exactly 259 days when he decided he wanted to marry him.

He had never really considered marriage before. Of course, he knew that the financial and legal benefits were useful, but he didn’t need them to know that he would be with Nigel forever. He was an integral part to Adam’s routine. Now he would lie in bed for twenty minutes after waking up at precisely 7am, waiting for Nigel to wake so they could cuddle or indulge in sleepy morning sex, depending on what mood they were in. Then they would get up and shower – sometimes together, which would inevitably take longer than Adam had scheduled but somehow, he never minded – and eat breakfast together. Nigel would curse over the burnt toast and resort just to drinking coffee. Adam had always hated the smell, but he ignored it for Nigel.

After breakfast, Adam would walk to work. At 1pm precisely, Nigel would walk through the door to the observatory and they would eat the cheese sandwiches Nigel made them together. He worked all the way across the city, and it took him an hour to drive to see Adam, but he did it every day, because it made Adam happy.

Once his shift ended, Adam would walk back home and read until Nigel came back to him. They would eat dinner together, and on some nights, drive out of the city so they could watch the stars together.

Adam had never been so happy in his life.

That being said, he saw no reason to make any changes to their lives. He was utterly content, and, as far as he could tell, Nigel was too.

It wasn’t until one day, during their regularly scheduled movie night, that Adam started to think about marrying Nigel.

Nigel had chosen the movie that week, some action blockbuster that Adam wasn’t particularly interested in. They watched it curled up on the couch, Adam choosing to spend his time pressing kisses to the tattoo on Nigel’s neck while the other man huffed and kept staring at the screen, fighting to keep the smile off his face.

Towards the end of the movie, there was a wedding scene. It culminated in some needlessly dramatic fight rife with obviously fake blood, but Adam was barely paying enough attention to notice. He was, however, entirely aware of the little sigh Nigel gave as he watched the couple deliver the vows on screen.

“Nigel?”

Nigel hummed softly.

“What’s it like being married?”

“I don’t think I’m the best person to ask, darling. I didn’t exactly have a successful fucking marriage,” Nigel said, bringing his hand to rest in Adam’s curls.

Adam snuggled closer. “But there were good things? Marriage must have good things. Statistically, far more long-term couples choose to marry. So it must be good.”

“Well, yeah, there are good things. But it’s more about the person you’re with. When I was with Gabi, it was...” He sighed again. “It was really fucking good at first. But then I went fucking crazy. You know all of that, gorgeous.”

Adam considered that for a moment. “But you’re not like that anymore.”

“No,” Nigel grinned, running his fingers through Adam’s hair. “Course I’m fucking not, darling. I have you now, don’t I? My little astronaut, keeping me in check.”

“So marriage is good?” He asked.

“Yeah, baby. With the right person, it’s fucking fantastic. As long as you’re not a crazy fucker like I was.”

Adam stopped asking questions, and Nigel continued to watch the movie. They didn’t speak about it again, but Adam was already forming a plan in his mind. He spent his next day off online, searching for proposal ideas.

A lot of the sites he looked at told him that grand, public gestures were the most memorable, but Adam didn’t want to do anything like that. He didn’t think Nigel would like it much either. One website said restaurants were a classic place to propose, but they never went out to eat. Another said that involving your partner’s friends in your plans was very romantic, but Nigel’s friends weren’t very nice.

If he was going to propose to Nigel, he wanted to do it in his own way. He wasn’t good with speeches, couldn’t make his words sound pretty or sexy like Nigel could, but he was good with facts.

Adam knew he loved Nigel and wanted to be with him forever. So if marriage was important to Nigel, then it was important to him, too.

Finding a ring took a long time. Adam hated shopping, preferring to buy anything he needed online whenever possible, but he wanted to see the rings in person. It had to be perfect.

Nigel wouldn’t want diamonds, or anything extravagant. Adam could almost hear him scoffing at all the “sparkly shit” in his head. No, Nigel’s ring needed to reflect Nigel himself: beautiful in the most simple and straightforward way. He’d tried several stores before he found the right one, and he was growing more and more anxious that he wouldn’t find anything. All of the rings were too shiny, too big, too extravagant, nothing he could picture Nigel wearing.

The woman at the last store smiled at him, and asked Adam what he’d like to see.

“Just – something different,” he said. “No diamonds, no jewels. He’d want something plain, but I don’t – the plain bands aren’t right, either. Do you have something different?”

She brought out a simple, wide band. The surface of it was covered in a pattern of criss-crossing lines, and it was slightly bumpy to the touch. Nothing shiny. Straightforward, but still beautiful.

“It’s made from Gibeon meteorite,” she told him. “We mostly tend to get people looking for traditional metals, so these pieces are kept in the back. But you seemed like you’d appreciate it.”

Adam imagined the ring on Nigel’s fingers, rough and worn, knuckles scarred in places, but ever soft when they touched him. “Yes,” he said instantly. “It’s perfect.”

*

Adam had only just arrived home when he heard Nigel walk through the front door. He was so nervous his hands were nearly shaking, but it wasn’t the typical kind of anxiety he felt. Not a fear so overwhelming that it overtakes his entire body, leaves him rocking back and forth. This was more of a soft fluttering in his stomach; he was nervous, but he was not afraid.

“Hi, darling,” Nigel kissed his cheek swiftly while he passed him, falling onto the couch with a groan. “Fucking long day. Sit with me?”

Adam obliged happily, going to sit next to Nigel and squeaking in surprise when an arm wrapped around his middle and pulled him to sit on the older man’s lap. Strong hands came to rest on his hips, while a face rough with stubble nuzzled his cheek. Adam sighed contentedly. When they had first met, he never could have imagined Nigel to be so tender. In truth, the man was like a giant cat, constantly seeking affection.

Adam loved it. Adam loved him.

“Nigel?”

“Hm?”

“Let me up for a minute.”

Nigel looked up at him. “Is something wrong, darling?”

Adam shook his head. “No,” he smiled. “Everything is perfect. And I need to get up right now so I can do this properly.”

Arms falling to his side, Nigel watched as Adam stood and reached into his pocket before kneeling on the floor in front of him.

Nigel felt his heart leap into his throat. “Baby...”

“Nigel,” Adam began. “I’m not good with words. I’m not good with change, or with people, or with lots of things. There’s a lot about the world that doesn’t make any sense to me. But you always do. And I think that we should get married, because I want to be with you forever.” He frowned a little, not sure what to say next. “Oh! Also, I love you very much. Will you marry me?”

Nigel’s was blinking furiously, trying to stop the tears he could feel welling up from falling.

“Nigel?” Adam looked concerned. “Are you upset? We don’t have to get married, I’m sorry.”

“Upset?” Nigel managed. He stood, gathering Adam into his arms. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever fucking been, darling. You’re fucking perfect, you know that? A goddamn angel.”

Adam still looked confused. “You haven’t answered, Nigel.”

He held Adam tighter, peppering his face with kisses. “Yes,” he breathed, in between brushes of lips. “Yes, baby, yes. I’ll marry you, Adam. My Adam. My fucking husband.”

Adam grinned as Nigel continued his onslaught, mouth covering every inch of skin he could reach. “Not yet. We have to actually have the ceremony, and plan it first, and – Nigel!” He laughed as Nigel picked him up bridal style, and Nigel felt his heart grow several times larger.

“I’m taking you to bed, darling. And we’re not going to so much as fucking move until tomorrow.” Nigel rumbled, walking steadily towards the bedroom.

“Okay. But we might have to move for dinner. And to use the bathroom. And –” His breath caught as he was tossed onto the bed, Nigel covering him quickly and tilting his head to suck at Adam’s neck.

“What was that, baby?”

Adam lifted his head to look into his eyes. “I love you, Nigel. I’m very glad you’re going to be my husband.”

And Nigel can do in response to that other than to kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him.

asa “ace” ryder // biotic // pathfinder

under the read more is the me:a 30 day countdown ryder meme that i meant to do over the actual days oops, just to introduce you to my new child and some of her family!! not all of the prompts are answered, i’ll gradually be answering them eventually.

30 Days: Will you play SisRyder or BroRyder first? Why? How does your Ryder define their gender?

sisryder bc i most always play feminine characters. i’ve taken that opportunity every chance i’ve gotten since pokemon crystal back when i was a kid. ace identifies as feminine.

29 Days: What is your Ryder’s name? Why did you pick this name - is there a meaning or origin story behind it? Do they go by any nicknames? What would you name their sibling, father and mother if you were able to choose?

asa “ace” ryder. i really liked the of “ace ryder,” so from there i just had to figure out a name that could actually have that nickname (opposed to just being called that bc of some reason or another). i happened upon asa and loved it. her one and only nickname is ace.

28 Days: Are you going to use the default appearance or create a custom Ryder? If custom, describe your Ryder’s physical appearance (hair color, eye color, skin color, height, weight, facial features, any scars or tattoos, racial origin, etc). If you have art and/or a face-claim, feel free to add them here.

definitely custom, i always go custom when it comes to appearances. ace’s face has dark green eyes and is full of freckles. she’s about 5′10″ with a plump, pear shaped figure. her most notable feature is her dark brown curls, which she leaves them be, as they tend to behave better that way. as for the tattoos, she has the constellation of the phoenix under her right breast. her face claim is lauren johnson.

27 Days: Are you going to use the default appearance for Ryder’s sibling or customize them? Describe your ideas for their sibling’s and father’s physical appearance.

i’m definitely going to be changing them (ace’s fam ain’t white lmao). her brother is very much a military guy, with close cropped black hair and a generally stern face. he has freckles sporadically peppered on his face, but not nearly as many as his sister. he has dark hazel eyes, loooooong eyelashes, and is the same skin color as ace. his form, while possessing some muscles from military training, is rather lanky. his fc is evan ross. their father looks strangely unlike them, as both of the ryder siblings take after their mother. he is bald (by his own volition, he swears) with light brown eyes and darker brown skin than his children.

26 Days: Do you have a specific class profile or mix of class profiles in mind for Ryder?

ace is a biotic, so she’s going to be mostly an adept with a few soldier skills.

25 Days: Describe Ryder’s favorite combat style. Bioware call Peebee a “gunslinger” and describe Liam as a “close-range fighter” - how would you describe Ryder’s combat role/strengths? What are some of their favorite biotic/tech/other abilities?

ace’s fighting style could be termed “going-with-the-flow” as she tends to fill any of the pockets that her squad mates lack. long-range? singularity. mid-range? shockwave. close up? biotic charge. basically, ace has thought of ways in which to use her biotics at any position, and in this way, she’s very much a support fighter and quite well-rounded. her absolute favorite ability is shockwave.

24 Days: Which squadmates do you think will best compliment Ryder’s combat style? Alternatively, who do you plan to take out most in the field?

with asa, since she has biotics handled, she’ll be aking more tech and soldier based squad mates out. this’ll probably include drack, jaal, liam, and vetra (bc vetra).

23 Days: Which weapons or category of weapons will Ryder prefer? Describe their favorite loadout.

anything relatively easy to wield and load quickly is good to ace. that being said, an assault rifle or pistol will be the two she gravitates toward.

22 Days: Will Ryder craft? What are you most excited about crafting? Do you have any names in mind already for weapons?

so ace isn’t particularly savvy when it comes to tech stuff (that’s more of her brother’s thing), but she’d love to learn how to craft things!! she’s gonna be asking liam so many questions, i feel bad for him lmao

21 Days: What are Ryder’s personality traits? Describe 5 strengths and 5 flaws.

strengths:

optimistic

friendly

compassionate

sociable

friendly

flaws:

intense

dramatic

disorganized

absentminded

erratic

20 Days: What first impressions does Ryder tend to give people? Do they have any ‘odd’ or specific mannerisms, habits or other quirks? How do they present and carry themselves?

asa is a very optimistic and joyous person. she prefers to try to think of the positives rather than get bogged down by negative feelings. she also displays her emotions quite...loudly. her brother calls her a drama queen, but she prefers the term “emotionally adept.” she’s no good at stealth missions due to her face being a canvas of emotions, but she tries (oh how she tries). also, asa (suffering from adhd) tends to skip over things in conversation. and by skip over things, i mean she thinks she’s said them already, because she’s gone over them in her head, but hasn’t said them aloud. her mind is a fast moving place and her mouth can rarely keep up.

19 Days: Where would Ryder fall in the classic Paragon/Renegade morality system? What would their D&D alignment be? If you know their personality type in any personality typing systems (such as MBTI and Enneagram - you can find various type descriptions and tests using Google), feel free to add and discuss them here.

ace is definitely more paragon, but as she lets her emotions define her, she can have her renegade moments as well. her alignment would lean toward neutral good.

18 Days: What qualities does Ryder like and dislike in other people? Are there any things they particularly appreciate or can’t stand?

ace tends to gravitate toward people in general; she will talk to anyone. but the people she most enjoys interacting with and those who eventually become her good friends are often interesting and don’t mind a bit of fun. but honestly, asa has friends who are outrageously different. it doesn’t much matter to her as long as they’re not actively mean to others, haughty, or have a “better than thou” attitude.

17 Days: List some of Ryder’s favorite things - colors, food, music, etc. Is there anything of this nature that they hate? Do they have any hobbies or skills outside of combat?

asa isn’t pick about food whatsoever, she’ll pretty much eat anything. but she LOVES baked goods, especially cupcakes.

16 Days: How would Ryder define their sexuality?

ace’s a lesbian bc girls. no but seriously, she’s never been attracted to guys in a romantic or sexual way. she’s been in one realtionship with a guy, and it turned out that they were both totally not into each other’s genders. they ended the relationship as friends, and were still in contact with each other when ace left for the andromeda mission.

15 Days: Delve into the Ryder family background - how is/was their relationship with their father, sibling and mother? Do they get along, hero worship, close twin connection, sibling rivalry, was it strained, was it distant, etc.

14 Days: Describe some important or formative events in Ryder’s history. How did these impact and shape them?

13 Days: Why did Ryder join the Alliance military? Later on, what were Ryder’s reasons for signing up to the Andromeda Initiative? Were they seeking adventure (or glory, or a challenge), wanting a new start, running from something, following their family, trying to secure a future for humanity, did they simply feel railroaded into it, etc.

12 Days: How will Ryder feel upon waking up from cryo? Relieved, excited, scared, impatient to get going, lost, etc.

11 Days: Once in Andromeda, what are Ryder’s goals? What drives them?

10 Days: Will Ryder ever miss the Milky Way? What things and places will they miss most?

9 Days: Did Ryder have any notable friends or connections in the Milky Way? How about past relationships? Which friendship or relationship was the most significant to them?

8 Days: How does Ryder feel about aliens? Are they uncomfortable, wary, intrigued, curious, intimidated, not bothered, etc? In the Milky Way, where did they stand on humanity’s place in galactic society - Earth first, Terra Firma, human superiority, peaceful cooperation, pro-galactic integration & unity, etc? How will they feel upon discovering that there are sentient alien races in Andromeda?

7 Days: Ryder’s father gave the twins informal N7 training in the past. How did Ryder feel about this (pressured, resentful, grateful, motivated, overworked, excited, etc)? What are their feelings on “N7” as a symbol? How do they relate to it, if at all?

6 Days: Does your Ryder know your Shepard? What do they think of Shepard? Would they get along? What would Shepard think of Ryder?

5 Days: Out of the squadmates, Tempest crewmembers and other characters shown so far, who do you think Ryder will get along well with? Who do you think they will get along best with? Why?

4 Days: Out of the squadmates, Tempest crewmembers and other characters shown so far, is there anyone you think Ryder won’t gel so greatly with, dislike or otherwise come into conflict with? Why?

3 Days: Do you plan on romancing anyone with Ryder? If so, who? Why? What qualities would Ryder find attractive in a partner (if applicable)?

2 Days: Provide a “famous quote” from Ryder that sums them up as a character (like the ones for the squadmates in their official character profiles).

1 Day: Which song/songs would be “theme songs” for Ryder? Are there any symbols you associate with Ryder? If you’ve created a moodboard for them, share it here. If not, what sorts of things would be on their moodboard? Describe their aesthetic. What Hogwarts house would they be sorted into? If you’ve written fanfic involving Ryder already, share it here. [you don’t need to do all of these, they’re merely intended as creative exercises]

The Definitive Guide to hair loss treatment

Simply put, ketoconazole minimizes DHT sensitivity, and considering that most Gentlemen drop their hair due to their hair follicles staying sensitive to the consequences of DHT, if an item doesn’t consist of this component, don’t bother shopping for it. As we talked about, DHT is linked to hair loss and male pattern baldness, and saw palmetto functions to block The body’s development of DHT. It’s also employed being an herbal solution for an enlarged prostate and to spice up Guys’s sex drives. The best way to therapeutic massage?  Apply oil (of one's alternative) on your own scalp and massage gently for five minutes or so. Let the oil soak in for an hour or so just before washing, or You can even hold it right away for superior conditioning. For healthier and more robust hair, head massage at the very least the moment per week. Some aspects which can be believed to Engage in a role in woman hair loss incorporate higher androgen birth Regulate supplements, menopause, pregnancy, ovarian cysts, together with other components tied on the actions of hormones. Saw Palmetto is a little plant that offers several Positive aspects, certainly one of which involves blocking 5-alpha-reductase, an enzyme in your body that converts testosterone to DHT. Mild microscopy. Your doctor uses a Exclusive instrument to look at hairs trimmed at their bases. Microscopy will help uncover doable disorders of the hair shaft. Whenever you use conditioner, you happen to be Placing extra chemical substances on your own scalp and hair. And considering that They're major and thick, they can clog your hair follicles and halt growth. And In https://www.wikihow.com/Reduce-Hair-Loss , frizzy with flyaways there’s a natural technique to quiet them down — utilize a depart-in conditioner. You don’t have to have any extravagant manufacturers. Even though the Mix doesn’t contain biotin, we advocate you are taking a biotin complement to even further increase the results of the shampoo. " https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCAjKHUTfRM thought I am going to under no circumstances have healthy and thick hair. I failed to go through with my hair graft.. I acquired the exact same success, for less than a cup of espresso! I look and feel terrific!" 3/ It affects much more than 50 % of all women, too, and is also attributable to the sex steroid hormone dihydrotestosterone. Risk-free to utilize on even one of the most delicate pores and skin, this effective method stays on the scalp until eventually the entire Lively ingredients – caffeine, ketoconazole, and observed palmetto – are absorbed. Because of this none of the item will head over to squander or get washed absent just before delivering highest therapy. When unsure, browse the usage recommendations uncovered with your hair loss shampoo’s container. People recommendations are there to make certain you get the most beneficial results from the shampoo with out leading to damage to your scalp or hair. Even though modern day folklore, and in many cases some restricted scientific research, have proposed which the mother's facet on the relatives is basically chargeable for a genetic predisposition towards baldness, the reality is balding is not really all our moms' fault.

Not known Facts About hair fall

Besides visual results, nonetheless, scientists also utilized a “hair pull” test. The quantity of hair “pulled” within the scalp when gently disturbed was in comparison from the start on the analyze to the end. Inside the treatment team, these have been the final results: Darren McCollester/Getty Pictures thirteen/ Often there’s scarring, because the hair follicle is being wrecked, and This can be a sign there’s a dysfunction existing that should be investigated. When the majority of the above changes aren’t daily life threatening (except heart rhythm adjustments, which often can go unnoticed), they are often bothersome and should guide you to truly feel the Unwanted effects aren’t truly worth the final results. The Sun Photo/Shutterstock five/ In women, it may possibly clearly show up first near the entrance of The pinnacle, or in the widening in the scalp line, in which hair turns into thinner. Has it been proven to dam DHT and boost hair growth? In a roundabout way, but there’s however some convincing evidence for its use. As much as possible I’ve tried to make the subsequent sections about natural treatments based on medical research. You'll find anecdotal claims to support the benefits, and there are several proponents and followers of the ancient exercise. Some have even claimed hair re-growth on bald areas.  Extra regarding how to do it and science behind this historic technique: Simply click here The transplant system might be damaged into two methods. 1st, hair-bearing skin is faraway from a region in the scalp referred to as the ‘donor web site’. Next, the donor pores and skin and hair is then grafted on to the ‘receiver web site’. In the same way, in case you dress in tight styles on a daily basis, it's going to place a pressure on your own hair roots, triggering hair loss Eventually. surgical creates comes along with risk and likely side effects. In situations of hair transplant, you could possibly knowledge: Pumpkin seed oil is one of the more practical DHT blockers, as it really works best when taken internally. Which means https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mxMX4l4Mv4 in the source, and helps prevent DHT buildup from even developing on the scalp. The 2nd crucial treatment for hair growth is using a extensive-tooth Wooden comb. It’s really soothing and comforting to the scalp and stimulates the hair follicles to get up and grow new hair. Alternatively, It's also possible to utilize a picket hairbrush to comb your hair. In the course of this process, various proteins are developed (which Perform a important part in the hair growth cycle). Having said that, the overexpression of particular proteins – such as SFRP1 – could potentially cause the cycle to take place far too quickly. This brings about structural hurt of the hair strand, and eventual shortening. Individuals have been saying a ‘cure for hair loss’ might be obtainable in ‘5 calendar year’s time’ for as long as any one can bear in mind.

how to grow hair faster for Dummies

Just found this Web-site. Have read through some superior Info. Will be striving the recent oils. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D_SEx5QncA have bad hair damage from over 20 years or chemical compounds. Many thanks for the Info. Coloring, perming, and conditioning the hair will not commonly bring about hair loss. Burns or significant processing may well develop hair fragility and breakage. Designs that pull limited could result in some loss, but hair coloring and "chemical compounds" usually don't. Pricey Rupa, every remedy is not about to perform for everyone and that's why I've stated 4 shampoos. If this doesn’t work check out the opposite three. For the Sanford-Burnham Medical Investigate Institute, they confirmed that stem cells derived from human skin to grow hair when grafted on to the skin of mice. A paper describing this investigation, which was released on January twenty first 2015 can be found here in the PLOS 1 healthcare journal. Dr. Alexey, a member with the analysis team designed the subsequent published statement: “Our stem cell method delivers a vast source of cells from the affected person for transplantation and isn’t confined by The provision of existing hair follicles. These new hair loss cures search promising, but will they genuinely become a cure or just another Propecia? Permit’s think about the positives and negatives of each and every forthcoming treatment. Whisk an egg. Blend in four tablespoons of grapeseed oil and a few drops of lavender oil. Apply it for your hair and scalp and go away it on for fifty percent an hour. Last but not least, rinse it out and shampoo your hair as standard. Afterwards indications and symptoms that labor that labor is are the lady’s water breaking, and when contractions get started. hair vitamins or hair transplants: Surgical hair restoration strategies incorporate many variations of hair transplantation (using hair from the back and Placing it near the front) or scalp reduction (slicing absent bald areas and stitching The remainder collectively). Transplant treatments have enhanced enormously in recent times. They're able to develop much more beautiful and natural-seeking outcomes than older approaches that from time to time depart a "checkerboard" or hair plug seem. A standard skin problem, alopecia areata typically begins as a single quarter-sized circle of properly clean bald skin. These patches commonly regrow in three to six months without the need of treatment. In some cases, white hair briefly regrows after which you can gets to be darkish. Hair loss is popular amid equally Males and women, and lots of look for to treat it working with chemical solutions, hair plugs, and in some cases operation. When you’d rather find approaches to regrow your hair naturally, scalp therapeutic massage, valuable oils and dietary improvements are Mild and cheap remedies that you can begin employing immediately. Some studies have argued that dandruff can lead to an harmful scalp and trigger balding. Luckily, ketoconazole is the primary ingredient in Nizoral that actually works to forestall dandruff and bolster hair. Insert a lot more omega 3 fatty acids for your diet regime. This healthier Unwanted fat is integral to healthy hair growth, and with no more than enough of it with your eating plan your hair can surface brittle and uninteresting. Try out an oil massage. Adding oil to the equation aids circulation more than an ordinary head therapeutic massage. The oil really helps to unclog hair follicles and allow new growth to come back in. Once or twice a week, want to use oil to therapeutic massage your head. It’s simplest to make it happen during the shower, then rinse absent the oil when you’re completed. You can also make substantial portions of the shampoo and freeze them in ice dice tray. Extra Guidelines below.

https://www.facebook.com/steptoremedies/ To Know Before You Buy

It are unable to totally reverse hair loss but can Improve hair growth and fix harmed strands. The components for this shampoo has several demonstrated natural components and vitamins that advertise hair growth. It's going to nourish hair and decrease symptoms like DHT blocking that can lead to hair loss. Surgical treatment or hair transplants: Surgical hair restoration methods include a variety of versions of hair transplantation (using hair through the back again and Placing it near the front) or scalp reduction (slicing away bald parts and stitching The remainder with each other). Transplant methods have enhanced considerably in recent times. They will produce much more beautiful and natural-looking final results than more mature methods that often leave a "checkerboard" or hair plug look. You will find 3 stages of labor, phase 1 is the longest and takes place if the cervix starts to thin and dilate. For the duration of phase 2 of labor the infant passes from the start canal and continues to be there until eventually shipping, and stage 3, is in the event the little one is sent. You could expertise the strength of this method with results you'll get in just a make a difference of weeks. This shampoo also operates right away. It means that you don’t have to depart it to the scalp for numerous minutes for it to work. This can be among the best offering shampoos on Amazon, Which’s for an excellent cause. Artwork Naturals Natural and organic is a very organic shampoo, meaning that it does not include any sulfates. Sulfates and equivalent chemical compounds are applied to generate lather and strip oils from hair. During the three-thirty day period telogen period of time, the hair root shrivels up into a small "club," then the hair falls out. It can be thus typical to get rid of about one hundred hairs each day, additional of them on times when shampooing loosens the hairs which can be able to fall out. Your body then replaces the hairs. Whilst thyroid blood checks as well as other lab exams, like an entire blood rely (CBC), on Individuals who have standard hair loss are usually ordinary, it is important to exclude treatable will cause of hair loss. Getting old women have a similar issue. Their hair will get thin, although it's not very clear that this is necessarily brought on by sex hormones. Typical shampoos are crammed with compounds like sulfates that generate lather and strip the scalp of its natural oils. This ends in too much dryness, which in turns triggers hair loss. This webpage incorporates general details about medical situations, treatments, and residential cures. The information presented on the webpage, is entirely for general studying and it is a compilation from your open resource which was available to us and, is just not a result of thorough exploration or exams carried out in laboratories. Artificial or synthetic hair implantation course of action is done by capable and seasoned physicians utilizing hair implant equipment. To find out about https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_loss , Expense, and Unwanted effects of artificial hair implant goto Practo Procedure-Wiki. Women with this particular issue are afflicted by what is named female sample balding and start to notice the thinning in their hair just after close to forty yrs of age. Will not self-diagnose or address by yourself based on the data provided in these posts. We more assert, be sure to request health care guidance and don't disregard healthcare assistance, or discontinue professional medical treatment by relying on the information provided on this Web site. External back links to movies and other Sites supplied Here i will discuss purely for info purposes and Practo won't warrant or warranty the accuracy, genuineness, reliability of such one-way links/Web sites. alopecia areata (smaller round or coin dimensions bald patches on the scalp that sometimes grow back in months),

hair growth shampoo - An Overview

This disorder interferes Together with the hair growth cycle by resulting in a follicle to prematurely leave the anagen, or Lively growth, phase and enter the resting, or telogen section. The hair growth during the influenced follicles is lessened or stopped fully. An summary of shampoos for thinning hairHair loss can be a induce for worry in both Adult men and women. Men and women eliminate sleep over the fact that they are losing hair. Steer clear of nutritional deficiencies as they tend to have an impact on your hair adversely. Such as, vitamin E and zinc deficiencies bring about hair thinning and loss. Simply put, ketoconazole minimizes DHT sensitivity, and because most Males eliminate their hair because of their hair follicles staying sensitive to the effects of DHT, if an item doesn’t comprise this component, don’t hassle acquiring it. Folic acid encourages the event of healthy DNA, which controls mobile exercise and healthful tissue growth. Vitamin D3 promotes the creation of recent hair follicles and will wake up dormant hair follicles to supply thicker, additional distinguished hair. We persuade you to remark and express your belief. It’s generally a delight to hear your views, together with reply any queries you might have. Probiotics for intestine health: When your intestine is healthful you take in vitamin and minerals greater, which can, consequently, feed your hair follicles and grow wholesome hair. Loss of hair along with visible fat loss may additionally be a sign of the feeding on ailment for example anorexia or bulimia. They then ought to choose from two paths: healing the skin (building epidermis) or making hair. It is actually there exactly where Follica sees the window of chance, the place they might inspire the cells to carry out the latter and regenerate new plus more hair. Some dietary supplements may perhaps lessen hair loss devoid of strengthening hair growth. Your target must be on locating a hair growth capsule that does equally – it needs to lessen the quantity of hair that’s falling out though stimulating your hair follicles to boost hair growth. Be a part of our mailing list and get the latest information about developments in hair loss prevention technological know-how. We maintain our audience updated on what's Doing work, what is not, and what is actually over the horizon. Hair Hurry is a successful, Secure way to treat hair loss and addresses the foundation brings about of hair loss. It leads to no Negative effects although strengthening and nourishing hair from within follicles. And the organization is so self-confident in their merchandise that they even give a 90-working day funds-again assurance, therefore you basically have a threat-totally free trial. You can find basically no reason to not order the product and give it a shot. Many people get tattoos to simulate lost eyebrows and eyelashes. Selected home remedies via steptoremedies may gradual hair loss, and alternative treatments may possibly bolster the wellbeing of remaining hair, but no treatment is likely to replace a full head of hair.

hair loss in women Things To Know Before You Buy

The many benefits of biotin are dependant on study that shows that hair loss is usually a consequence of biotin and zinc deficiency. Generally known as Vitamin B7, Biotin is usually a compound that’s significant for a wide array of bodily processes, such as the synthesis of fatty acids, glucose, and some amino acids. But source:- steptoremedies can help the strengthening of hair and nails. For one's hair to grow faster, it truly is sensible not to clean it each day, use an oil or hair mask weekly. You can also choose hair-boosting dietary supplements that happen to be Harmless. But You may also alternate Nizoral with another form of hair loss shampoo – such as the Lipogaine merchandise or Alpecin’s Caffeine shampoo – for a successful one particular-two hair loss preventing punch. Use Nizoral twice weekly although utilizing your other hair loss shampoo on one other times. Thick, lustrous hair is checked out with awe. People spend some huge cash to keep up their hair and are all set to undertake treatments just to make certain their hair is voluminous and glossy. Dropping […] via steptoremedies.com is a modest or localized hair loss place attributable to repetitive or persistent pulling or traction on hair roots. The primary difference with hair-loss shampoos, however, is that you ought to depart them in for a longer time just before rinsing. Doing so makes sure that their substances arrive at your hair’s roots and scalp, the place they may have the biggest influence. Early and later on indications and signs of labor and supply are one of a kind to each lady. Early indications of labor are "lightening” and passing the mucous plug. We’d love to listen to your comments about hair loss shampoos. We want to listen to what you believe and we assure to reply promptly. Lipogaine Large 3 – incorporates ketoconazole, but only a couple other hair thinning/loss relevant substances; not offered on Amazon (only by means of Lipogaine website). It is possible that stress induces hormonal changes which can be answerable for the hair loss, since hair loss is often a known consequence of other hormonal improvements because of pregnancy, thyroid disturbances, and even from getting oral contraceptives. Although https://www.pinterest.com/healthhomeremedies/steptoremedies/ will find Significantly worse things which can transpire to somebody than dropping their hair, there’s also no denying how extremely frustrating it may be. There are various motives for hair loss, such as genetics, and much more products and solutions and solutions to choose from which assert to gradual its progress although even growing new hair. Getting 1 that actually works for you personally, nonetheless, can be less complicated mentioned than finished. But we’re listed here to help you. Pregnancy may result in quite a few variations during the scalp hair. As the hormones fluctuate during pregnancy, a large number of women really feel their hair thickens and becomes fuller. Biotin is a crucial ingredient to skin cells, which also Perform a vital purpose in hair follicle health. If the follicles are weak or unhealthy, they’ll be unable to keep hair. Manage healthful hair by adhering to a good hair care schedule and utilizing hair products which are ideal for your hair form. As well as, shield your tresses from Sunlight destruction and stay clear of using warmth styling goods.

5 Easy Facts About hair loss treatment Described

Resource. How? Researchers described that “PEO induced incredibly thick and prolonged hair following four-7 days topical software and promoted the elongation of hair follicles from your epidermis all the way down to the subcutis in the vertical segment”. Something to bear in mind when using necessary oils is to choose a provider oil that works effectively to provide the essentials directly to the hair follicles. Have you at any time knowledgeable your hair falling off like autumn leaves or turning gray overnight? Perfectly, I've. I used to be undertaking all the right things like consuming healthy, performing exercises, but all of a sudden I had a deluge of hair fall. Usually, delayed allergic reactions are likely to hurry up the hair loss method, Which is the reason it’s vital that you identify foods which are causing it, in order to end any even further loss. Your whole body is stating “I’m far too acidic” “my microbiome has long been destroyed” “I’m allergic to gluten” but your just covering up the cries if you're taking a drug, or ignore it. The most effective way to tell Should you be possessing a delayed allergic reaction to those foods teams would be to systematically eradicate, for two weeks, and after that reintroduce Just about every food stuff consequently. Hair that is definitely over shoulder-size is usually numerous many years previous (Indeed, we have been talking about the decrease section within your hair size). So, Remember that it wants extra TLC than what a traditional conditioner might supply. As an alternative, a great hair mask can provide the best sort of pampering for your hair. Probiotics for intestine wellness: If your gut is wholesome you soak up vitamin and minerals much better, which may, subsequently, feed your hair follicles and grow healthier hair. Trials remain underway – plus they most likely is going to be for rather some time just before hair cloning results in being a practical hair loss treatment. This is often a result of the Sophisticated nature on the science behind hair cloning, and there remain various bumps that need to be worked out along the way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZSkyCPhERY could be somewhat unpleasant and could cause pores and skin thinning inside the injected web sites. Prednisone, an oral steroid, can be an efficient treatment for alopecia areata, but its likely side effects include things like pounds acquire, metabolic abnormalities, acne, and menstrual problems. Its constructive outcomes are sometimes only non permanent. SM04554 is undoubtedly an experimental drug that’s at present being examined by scientists as being a hair loss treatment. The researchers assert that this “miracle cure” performs by regulating the Wnt pathway, that is a protein pathway considered to acquire specified consequences on hair growth. And vitamin C is a strong antioxidant, and it can help to get rid of hair detrimental no cost radicals that happen to be produced Ordinarily within our bodies. But as we age, their quantity retains on expanding. Throughout the telogen or resting period (generally known as shedding period) the follicle remains dormant for a person to four months. Ten to fifteen percent of your hairs on one's head are in this phase of growth at any provided time. It’s apparent that we don’t know sufficient about this issue yet and more exploration is required. But it's distinct that healing your microbiome will definitely help your Over-all well being and Nearly undoubtedly enable reduce your hair loss.

Canto 22 – Flying by Pinwheel

The Conference Room onboard the corsair flagship was spacious.  It was one of the largest in Tron’s fleet.  The most famous corsairs in the Imperial Rim Worlds were gathering there for a meeting.

“I missed you, Uncle Goofy,” said a cherub-faced little boy to Trav Dalgoda.

“I missed you too, Artran.  I wouldn’t have left, but two of my very best friends from Questor needed my help.”

“The Aero Brothers?” asked Artran, eyes opening wide like brown blooms in a sunny field.

“Yes,” Trav nodded.  “And your father got rather mad at me too.”

“He’s always like that.  He always forgives me, though.”

Trav nodded at the boy.  Artran was no more than seven years old.  He was a very open-faced, trusting little man.  It was difficult to believe his parents were two of the most infamous space pirates in known space.

The sour-faced pirate known as the King of Killers came into the room and sat down opposite Trav.  He was a thin, bitter man with no sense of humor.  Trav liked him anyway.

“How’s the pirate business, King, old Jester?”

“Shut up, Goofy, or I’ll rip your head off and stuff it in your… er…”  He looked at Artran, “mouth.”

“That’s not very nice, Mr. Killer,” muttered Artran softly.

“Oh, I know, boy.  I don’t mean it.  It’s just that this clown and thief has caused us too much trouble.”

“I apologize, King.  I had to help my friends, didn’t I?”

“I respect Ged Aero,” shot back the King.  “If you’da said that he needed the artifact, I’da voted to give it to him.  You don’t just steal stuff from Tron.  Where’s your sense of honor?”

“I’m not sure I ever had one.  If I did, I probably sold it and forgot about it.”

“The Aero Brothers are colonizing a planet?” King asked for conformation.

“No.  It already had a really cool civilization on it when we found it. They are merely taking ownership.”

Just then, Elvis the Cruel walked into the room, his guitar slung over his back.  He walked with a swagger and wore a dirty white muscle shirt.  He was combing his greasy black pompadour with a practically toothless comb.  Beside him walked the gorgeous lady pirate called Sheherazade.  She wore a Princess Leia-style bronze slave bikini, though no one remembered why the heck such clothing was called that.  It had something to do with a former emperor’s favorite comic book or something.  Her skin, and she was showing practically all of it, was a deep ebony color.  She sat down next to Artran and motioned Elvis to sit beside her.

“Thank you, thank you very much,” said Elvis.

“So, Trav,” said the sultry Sheherazade, “How did you get Tron to let you live?”

“Oh, Sheherry-baby, you know I’m Tron’s best buddy.  The old Jester could never kill me.”

The beautiful lady laughed with a charm made more elegant by her tawdry companions.  She seemed a regal Egyptian goddess.  The King of Killers watched her longingly.

Elvis took out a cigarette butt and lit it, letting it hang on the slack part of his lower lip.

Pirates from other corsair fleets began to arrive.  Razor Conn of the Black Hawk fleet showed up wearing a white cowboy hat and sunglasses with his second in command, the mysterious oriental, Shad Blackstone, by his side.  The Degenerate, one-eyed Captain of the Corsair Frigate Palace of Foul Odors showed up in his crusty Lancer Battle Suit.  The dwarf that traveled with him was named Stinky because of his unique ability to produce overpowering flatulence on cue.  Several other Lancer Corsair captains were also there.   Fez Amin of the dreaded Monopoly Brigade was there.  His bald, tattooed head was skull-like and menacing.  Arkin Cloudstalker was there with seven of his beautiful Lady Knights, captains of the White Sword Corsairs.

Tron came in with both his beautiful wife Maggie the Knife and Dana Cole.  They both sat with him at the head of the conference table.

Tron held up a hand for silence and attention.  All eyes fixed on the man with the scar.  He had a commanding presence above and beyond the many forceful personalities gathered on the ship.

“You’ve heard the word circulated already,” began Tron.  “News travels fast among the Corsair Brotherhood of Gentlemen Adventurers.”  Everyone laughed at the high-tone name for the scum of the universe.  “I have come here to declare war.  We have been double-crossed by the smuggler prince and planetary duke of the planet White Palm.  Count Nefaria tried to take us all out by acquiring ancient artifacts of incredible power.  The Pinwheel Corsairs intend to take him on in his own system and take him out.  I am not asking you to help me, though help is welcome.  I am asking you to refuse any call for help he might make.”

“And what happens if we decide we like Count Nefaria more than we like you?” growled Fez Amin.

Elvis stood up and glared across the table at Amin.  “Then we bust you up like a bunch of Louisiana hound dawgs!”

Fez Amin laughed.  “What does that mean?”

Tron stared at the Monopoly Brigade’s tattooed leader.  “Are you taking me on?”

“Naw,” said Fez Amin.  “I’m just asking what if?  Goober there gave me a funny enough answer to satisfy my need to laugh.”

There was a lot of nervous laughter.  Everyone feared Fez Amin.  He was dangerously insane and full of bloodlust.  They feared Tron and his ace pilots as well.  Few openly laughed at the eccentric behavior of a pilot like Elvis the Cruel.  The possible consequences of such disrespect made everyone with a sane brain nervous.

“You tell me now,” said Tron to the group, “Who has a contract with Count Nefaria?”

No one raised a hand.

“Who is against my plan?”

Again, no hands went up.

“We hear you met a group of Corsairs called the Wraiths,” said Razor Conn.  “You know much about them?”

“No,” said Tron.  “But we beat them hard.”

“Let me give you this to help your cause,” said Conn, tossing a computer log core onto the table.  “That is proof that the Wraith Corsairs work for both Nefaria and Syn Corporation.”

Everyone gasped but Tron and Maggie.

“Robots?” asked Tron.

“That’s my guess,” said Conn, smiling beneath his mirrored sunglasses and white cowboy hat.  “It cost me forty fighters and one Black Hawk Frigate to get that bit of evidence.  I’m not gonna help you kill Nefaria, but I mean to bet on you and the Pinwheels to succeed.”

“I thank you for that,” said Tron with a gracious nod.

Arkin Cloudstalker spoke up then.  “We hear you helped Ged Aero escape the Imperium in return for your so-called Crown of Stars ancient artifact.  And we hear Ged now owns a planet.”

“I won’t deny it,” said Tron.

“What part does that Crown play in all of this?” asked Cloudstalker.  “That’s what I’d like to know.”

“You know the Crown has the power of the Ancients,” said Tron.  “If we knew how to use it, we would tell you what we plan, but we need to research it more.”

“So, if we throw in with you, does that mean we are also supporting Ged Aero?”  Cloudstalker’s face was grim as he got to the crucial question.

“I haven’t negotiated with the Aero Brothers yet.  You can see I have their friend Trav Dalgoda as a member of my team already,” said Tron, indicating Goofy who was playing with Artran and oblivious to all around him.  “I think it’s safe to say we respect Ged Aero and intend to throw our support behind him as he opens new systems in unknown space.”

“Well,” said Cloudstalker, “I believe Ged Aero is the one man who can solve our problems with the Imperium.  I believe only true integrity can undo the Gordian Knots of Galtorr.  I’m adding the White Swords to the Pinwheel Corsairs in this attack on Nefaria.  I say one less nasty old spider in the Galtorr Imperium is a good thing!”

Most of the corsairs applauded Cloudstalker.  Fez Amin growled.

“Ged Aero is a Werewolf!” shouted Amin’s tattooed second in command.

“Your foolishness is good for business!” mocked Fez Amin.  He jabbed a large polished knife intao the conference table.  “If you kill or capture Nefaria, Admiral Brona Tang will be hunting you down like the dogs you are.  The Imperial Navy hasn’t paid any attention to you before now.  That will change.  I’ll be the only corsair still operating with a reasonably valid Letter of Marque.  I’ll be laughing at your cold, dead corpses floating in endless space!”

Fez Amin and the Monopoly Brigade stormed out of the conference as if in anger.  Tron frowned.  It was more likely a tactical retreat.  Amin was now part of the enemy.

Trav reached across the table to retrieve the fancy toad-sticker.  “Sorry about the table, Maggie,” he said sweetly to Artran’s fierce mother.  “I’ll just keep this cool knife.”

Aeroquest… Canto22 Canto 22 – Flying by Pinwheel The Conference Room onboard the corsair flagship was spacious.  It was one of the largest in Tron’s fleet. 

June 19, 2017 - Wabi-Sabi: (Im)perfection.

Wabi-Sabi: (n.) "the quality of being attractive because of being imperfect in some way...wabi-sabi suggests that we see the flaw as being part of what is charming. Can apply to pots, furniture, houses - and whole lives." Origin: Japanese.

Trigger Warning: Body Image and Expectations

I wasn't sure how to start this post to be frank with you. I spent a few hours aimlessly looking around for a word to inspire me to make sense of a whole collection of experiences that I've felt since I've been here. Perhaps the most personal post I've made in a long time, I realized that in the last few years, I've lost my confidence in writing because as I grew up, so did my insecurities, so did my stress levels, and so did my ability to self-doubt. Part of my journey towards writing again is the willingness to be honest, to go deeper, to go pick at the scars that haven't healed properly.

As evidence by the slew of Instagram photos that I've been spamming you all with, being in India meant a change in what I'm used to wearing. For those of you that go to school with me, you know that I stick to a steady stream of sweaters and sweatpants because quite frankly if I have to suffer at college, I might as well be comfortable and warm while I do it. When I go shopping, I go straight to the larger and plus sizes. I thought I had learned to stop being disappointed at finding few items that fit and learned to seek out alternatives. But in India, where I have had to buy new clothes and adjust to a brand new style, I've had my fair share of struggles with body image, grappling with an age-old insecurity that has only worsened with the years and only has been exacerbated by hurtful comments, overactive paranoia, and the desperate need to prove to myself that I can do and be better. One of the biggest things that this trip has forced me to confront was a personal journey that I had long been avoiding - the burden I have borne my entire life regarding Asian-American, feminine, and personal expectations on body image and size.

But I don't owe anyone the debt of feeling sorry for who I am, and wearing my first sari, an ensemble that asks me to bare a part of my body that I have spent most of my life hiding, gave me a burst of confidence that there is so much that I should not and will not be ashamed of. I thank you, ahead of time, for reading this post, and hope that you recognize that this post is an expression of freeing myself from some of the worst thoughts I've had, in pursuit of self-acceptance and integrating the imperfect into the (I'm)perfect.

*If you would like to talk, if this post triggers you, I am here for you. As much as I can be with this spacey wifi. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- When yet another size XXL kurta (long shirt) barely made it down over my chest, I was prepared to shed a few tears. The straight, narrow cut of the cloth was not made to fit me and in the dim-lit dressing room, I could only stare at my reflection and feel the same old thoughts come back. If only you had actually used your gym membership this year instead of being lazy. If only you could have foregone that McDonald's meal at the airport. If only you could have just, for once in your life, been smaller. Coupled with a time constraint and limited inventory, I was absolutely exasperated with myself. I had to somehow, find enough salwar kameez combinations to make it through the rest of the summer and so far, all I could be absolutely sure of was that my dupatta (scarf) was not going to be a problem. Though I later was to learn that most Indian women would tailor their clothes or alter it in ways to fit, the pain of quite literally, not fitting into, the new culture and society that I was going to engage with, was enormously difficult to bear. Even at 20 years old, having been overweight all my life, I was not immune to the dread of yanking off a clothing item that didn't fit, praying that no seams would rip.

A Chinese-American woman, I learned at a young age that I didn't fit the mold. I grew up seeing skinny women on runways, in my magazines, and TV-shows. I was fortunate to grow up in a family where my grandfather used to touch the skin on my arm and smile proudly, telling me that my yellow skin ('jing huang pi fu', he would say), golden and luminous, was beautiful. My grandparents were always the most insistent that their grandchildren never forgot to appreciate and love their roots, to continue a proud story that had crossed the Pacific Ocean, weathered world wars, and landed in a strange new country. Save for a brief infatuation with Cinderella where I stubbornly stated that I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes because "that was what princesses looked like", I grew up in love with my long, straight black hair, especially when I could brush it until it gleamed. I used to stare in the mirror at my dark brown eyes, trying to discern the exact rich chocolate brown-black shade of my irises. I decided early on that no matter what color they were, they held light and enthusiasm for life. Enveloped in love, emboldened in a household of two tongues - English and the warm embrace of my ancestors' Mandarin - I was raised in love with my Chinese heritage. But with this, I inherited expectations that would prove to be most constant source of my self-esteem issues - I have never been petite, slender, or thin.

I take a second to dodge questions about my health to simply state that regardless of that condition, it has never warranted the kind of overwhelming pressure to have collarbones that could hold rolls of quarters (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Country-goes-wild-new-social-m…) or a waist that could hide behind a sheet of paper (http://www.nbc26.com/…/asian-women-are-pressured-to-be-peti…). I have never felt quite at home within the Chinese-American community because I have never been able to shake the shame of not fitting what I saw as the ideal Chinese-American woman. It is assumed that our bodies are meant to be a certain way and that it is woven into my DNA to be a porcelain doll, slim and well-proportioned.

I come from a family where love is shared in food, love is communicated in asking about health, and love is given by pinching cheeks and unfortunately, openly asking about my body weight. When my family comments on my waist before my college experience or when I get asked questions, I get asked about my SAT, my GPA, my weight, the amount of times I've gone to the gym far before I get asked about my mental well-being and happiness. I grew up understanding that this was how love was shown sometimes, even when it would twist in too-round stomach and curb my appetite. I have grown up always feeling like my answer was never good enough. I have grown up understanding that this was something I had to desperately change, not simply out of concern for my health, but because - what would other people think? "We just don't want other people to make fun of you," relatives would assure me, "You're a beautiful girl, but you should lose weight."

And so it goes.

I scrambled to find kurtas that fit and while I was able to find some, I couldn't lift the feeling of defeat that followed me out of the door of Big Bazaar, onto the van, and back into my hostel room. I had been so excited to go shopping for those loose garments, wrongly guessing that such loose fabrics and clothes would be easier to fit into. Even though many of my team members expressed similar frustration of finding clothes that fit, I tuned it all out, I tried to hold myself above wallowing but I couldn't help but sink in. That night, I ate less than half of what I had been given for dinner. I felt like I could have burst out of my skin every single time food passed my lips.

When we got the chance to buy saris, I tried to put a lid on the excitement. A sari is a long piece of fabric (anywhere from 5 to 9 yards), often beautifully decorated, meant to be wrapped around the body to form a skirt and to drape over the shoulder. (Side note: it is so hard to tie this damn thing, I tried and ended up hopping around the room trying to keep everything in place). We had been invited to the wedding of the son of a local technology company, known for its dedication to employing those with mental disabilities and pushing for similar practices in other companies. But I was focused not appearing lumpy, misshapen, and enormous in my sari. I was most afraid of what my rolls of stomach fat would look like, hanging out of the skirt, or worse, not fitting in at all.

The sari store was stuffed to the brim with gorgeous fabrics and I remember my breath being taken away as I ran my fingers along the ornamentally decorated trims of red, blue, purple, golden - every color of the rainbow - saris. I had long decided to go with a red sari, taking a lesson from my prom dress shopping fiasco that red, in fact was my "power color". I tried sari after sari, and as the women who worked at the store hastily tied and rolled me repeatedly into increasingly beautiful fabrics, I couldn't help but focus on everyone around me, finding their perfect sari. Between indecision and an inability to be satisfied by anything I had seen so far, I began to feel that same sense of dread that I had experienced the week before in the dressing room. I began to feel like a little girl trying to play dress-up, attempting to mimic an imaginary standard that was always meant to be above my grasp. Time was running out and I was among the last people to choose - and of the few I had tried on, I just felt completely out of place in all of them. I begged the women to let me try one more on - a red sari with tear-drop gold embroidery, and a golden-green trim. I reviewed the photos a friend helped take of me, and still couldn't bring myself to love it. But in all honesty, I don't know what I had more difficulty loving - the sari, or myself.

I bought the sari anyways. I didn't have time to find another one and this was the best I had found from the bunch. I kept my negative thoughts deep in my belly, swallowed to prevent them from reaching the surface. I told myself that I would just have to learn to wear it, learn to love it for all the other aspects. The fabric was beautiful - there was no doubt in that. I would have to do my best to fit myself in its folds and present as little trouble to the tailor in the next few weeks.

The week flew. We got fit for the tiny blouses (which were MUCH shorter than I expected) and patiently waited for our first chance to wear our beautiful new garments. In my room, I clumsily tried to imitate what I had learned from the women at store and "tied" my first sari. I have a long way to go. Getting those folds perfectly evenly and crisp much be a superhuman talent, honestly. I have incredible respect for anyone who can do it perfectly.

But of course, this is a blog post with a happy ending. The first time I was properly tied into my sari, with the little red blouse, my hair swept back, and my favorite red lipstick on, I was floored. I had tried pulling my petticoat up as high as I could, to hide as much of the skin that peeked out, a fact that the women helping us tie our saris noticed. They originally had pinned part of the draped fabric to my blouse, to form a curtain over the expanse of waist that I had hidden for so much of my life. Staring in the mirror, turning and feeling the fabric swirl around my feet, I unpinned that little curtain and tucked it back into my skirt. And I gave myself time to appreciate the form in front of me, a force in red, gold, yellow, and black. In that moment, I thought little of the expectations that I had carried on my back all my life. I didn't feel hidden under the beautiful fabric nor did I feel that the sari was wearing me. The body that I had spent so many years of my life berating, squeezing, hiding, was perfectly displayed.

It was a breath of fresh air, it was freedom from a restriction I had long placed on myself. And you damn well know I had to take a million photos to celebrate.

But more importantly, it is a reminder. It is a reminder that for all the comments of my family, I come from a long line of strong, sturdy women. Women whose hands and arms bore equal weight as the men in my lineage, women who were mothers and doctors and businesswomen and accountants and caretakers and brilliant and brave. Never had I once questioned whether they were fantastic role models. Never once have I questioned their beauty, their grace, their strength. So size zero be damned, I know that I may never fit into anything at half of the store I stop by, but what there is of me, I will love, I will cherish, and I will protect. And so should you, you fantastic, incredible, wonderful human being.

Dhanyavada galu (thank you) Ninna gelati (your friend), Winnie

PS: The wedding was also amazing and great and wow so many people I can't believe they just literally let 30 random Americans in at the last second. Congratulations to the bride and groom!

PPS: I learned the hard way how hard it is to pee in a sari and let me just tell you it involves a lot of folding, clutching, and praying.

PPPS: Photo credits to my least-favorite person and kind-of favorite photographer, Anant Sriram because bless that camera and his patience for dealing with my idiocy and basicness.

PPPPS: I love all of you, just the way you are.

Bella Gold Serum

Bella Gold Serum Reviews :

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