#still not actually applying yet. i'll start applying at the end of the month i think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jupitervega · 1 year

Text

fleein the south part II

hi, i'm ri & i'm an autistic nonbinary trans guy-lite-ish person. 4 years ago i moved out to denver from mississippi (where i was born & raised) & immediately had a massive improvement in my quality of life. i was able to access medical & psychiatric care, my career stabilized, people were addressin me with correct terms for the most part, & i was startin to feel like life had finally begun

unfortunately when the lease ran out on our house end of summer last year my roommates decided not to renew, & then the people who were gonna be my new roommates backed out last minute. in a panic i looked for other options but with time runnin short & top surgery approachin i decided to recover at a friend's house & move back to mississippi once my surgeon cleared me to travel cross country so i could regroup somewhere i figured would be less expensive & at least somewhat familiar

that, friends, was a very costly & painful mistake! every single problem that made me wanna move away in the first place has only exacerbated!

i'm comin up on 8 months post top surgery, i have a beard, & i'm still gettin called ma'am/she/her. trump flags & signs still adorn many yards/porches here. hatred & bigotry run rampant in local politics. the other day i didn't even enter one of the convenience stores in the town where i live when i stopped by because they had posted a very thinly veiled racist sign on the door

when i arrived back here i was not even a full month outta surgery & i had a minor complication, so i went to the emergency room cause what else was i sposed to do? applied for charity as i had around $100 to my name at that point, which i THINK? got approved? also applied for mississippi medicaid the same day, which got denied almost outright as i have no children. so i've been uninsured since november & rationin the 3 month supply of my psych/migraine meds i received before leavin colorado for goin on 7 months. never mind bein able to access hrt!

job prospects here are Not Great! i've had to collect unemployment for a while as i cannot for the life of me find a full time job with a livin wage. otherwise i literally cannot make ends meet as the jobs i've held so far down here are payin average 50% or less of what i was makin in denver. even with the part time gigs i've had i have yet to crack 30hr/wk on any kind of regular basis

housin is an absolute shitshow. my lease is up 1 july (got a month extension) & i've been searchin everywhere for an affordable place of my own or at least a good roommate. the more affordable studio/1bd apartments go for around $700 & up, but most have income requirements of 2.5-3x the monthly rent which, considerin previous point abt wages, is near impossible. roommate listins are available but the majority are questionable at best & seekin a live-in bangmaid at worst

with all these considerations i spent the past few weeks feelin worse & worse lookin for somewhere close to the job i currently have. the leases are like 6mo-1y so i was picturin another year down here & how i was gonna survive, let alone thrive. my thoughts got darker & darker. i'd wake up in the mornin & be sad/disappointed i'd survived the night

this is no way to live

i snapped a few days ago. said to myself "if i'm destined to struggle wherever i go, i'd rather do it somewhere i actually Wanted to be in the first place" & started applyin for housin in denver. waitin to hear back from my first option & have secured a backup with a friend with a spare room for 6mo in case that falls through

right now i need help gettin the hell out! i've got first month's rent already put back, i can continue to collect unemployment until i land a good job in denver, & i'm already reachin out to find somewhere to work. i just don't have anywhere to go for another month or two to save the money i'll need to travel almost 1200mi (~1900km) back to colorado. i'll need at least $500 to make gas/food happen durin the time it will take me to get there, & i need it by the first of july (38 days from day of postin)

please help me escape!!!

ca: $jupitervega

vmo: jupitervega

ppal

please please please donate whatever you're able! pls boost!

thank u so much for readin, pls have an item from my emergency happy photo folder for yr enjoyment

#emergency #pls help #pls boost #emergency move #emergency transport #fundraising #help #mutual aid #mutual fund #direct action #direct aid #help pls #emergency assistance #time sensitive

230 notes · View notes

lujingheswife · 8 months

Text

i’ll find you, you’ll find me.

summary: you found yourself in the world of haikyuu, and spent time with your favourite character.

featuring: your favourite character!

word count: 1536

cw: gn!reader, you teleported into the world of haikyuu, happy ending, angsty in between but i’m a fluff writer so dont worry, intentional lowercase, not proofread

author’s notes: wrote this in june 2020 !! found it in my drafts so might as well publish it hehe

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

it hadn't been long since you found yourself in another dimension — the haikyuu dimension. it felt like a dream to you, yet whatever you did you just wouldn't wake up.

was it really real? you thought to yourself, pacing around your fictional room not missing the sight of your uniform in front of you.

every haikyuu fan has a favourite character, just like you. you were indeed surprised at the sight of the uniform of your favourite school hanging neatly against the wall. sighing, you had no choice but to wear your uniform and head to school.

you realized your character was simply an average student in the school, so you need not to care about your popularity or loneliness. you were curious as it seemed to be your first day of school since it was the start of a new school year. since you're a first year, you didn't have to worry about friends.

yet your curiosity overwhelmed you and your legs automatically found their way towards the school's volleyball gym. before you could process your head, a familiar voice called out to you, “hello there.”

your head snapped up as your gaze met a pair of familiar eyes, one you had always admired his appearance on screen. it felt like a dream, realizing your favourite character actually talking to you — in front of you — in your favourite anime dimension. or was it really a dream...?

“hello?”

you flinched, shaking your head furiously before stuttering a reply, “h-hello! i'm sorry — u-uhm, is it okay if i apply as a team manager?”

again, you totally did not think twice before uttering that sentence.

he stared at you with curiosity, his gaze not breaking away from yours. after an unexpected staring competition, he smiled. “sure — i'll get the form immediately,” he replied. afterwards he lead you into the gym, showing you around on the way to fetch the application form introducing himself at the same time.

‘of course i know who you are,’ you thought to yourself. your eyes never left his figure, admiring his profile. for the nth time, you felt like it was a dream

he looked much more attractive up close.

☾ ⋆ * ･゚: ⋆ * ･゚: ✧ * ⋆. *: ･ﾟ ✧ .: ⋆ * ･゚: .⋆ ☾

what seemed like weeks passed by and you were still in the same dimension, not once waking up to reality. the topic of being in a dream that once worried you seemed to have been forgotten by you, as if you truly belonged in the dimension you found yourself into. slowly, your relationship with him developed further and you became a pair.

you once looked at him for being so good looking, a personality that you loved, born with talent and bonus point for being your favourite fictional character. now looking at the sleeping boyfriend in front of you with his head rested on his crossed arms, you brought out a hand as you reached out, gently grazing his cheek with the back of your index finger.

you loved everything about him.

“if i were from a different dimension, how would you react?” you asked in a whisper, careful not to stir him awake. you looked around your surroundings, the quiet library where your boyfriend would accompany you study once every week; the scenery through the tinted windows with the muffled sounds of pouring rain cutting the usual silence; and the man you wished had not been a fictional character sleeping with inaudible snores, including the visible bags under his eyes from practicing.

there were very few students today, as they quietly studied for the upcoming finals. months had passed since you found yourself in the dimension away from reality, you never once returned and you had nearly forgotten about it.

“i don't want to wake up from this — if only you weren't fictional, and if only we were meant to be together in the same world,” you whispered as a cracked sob escaped from your lips that couldn't help but quiver at the memories you had with him.

looking at how peaceful your boyfriend looked, you had to smile as a tear managed to escape. you softly called out to his name, the name you wished you could call forever, adding an “i love you” to finish the sentence.

at the end of the day, he couldn't get your words out of his head. he heard everything, and he wanted to talk to you about it.

he never wanted to lose you either.

☾ ⋆ * ･゚: ⋆ * ･゚: ✧ * ⋆. *: ･ﾟ ✧ .: ⋆ * ･゚: .⋆ ☾

tomorrow marked one year since you arrived in the fictional dimension. you were currently in his room, relaxing on his bed as he did his homework. was it the right time to talk about it? you pondered. it was rare for you to be quiet in times like this, and he probably figured out what you were thinking.

“when did you arrive here?” he asked, snapping you out of your endless thoughts leaving you in confusion.

“what do you mean?” you replied, “didn't you invite me here this morning?”

he brought his eyes to gaze into yours. “i mean, this dimension — the one you said fictional.”

his words caught you by surprise, making you wonder when did he found out. “how did you—”

“i'm sorry,” he replied, “i overheard you mentioning it that day in the library..”

it was when you finally realized — tomorrow would mark one year since you found yourself in the haikyuu dimension. now thinking about it, anxiety slowly rised into your head.

what if tonight would mark the last night for you to spend your time here?

your shaky pupils met his worrying ones. “are you okay?” he asked worriedly, rising from his seat to approach your trembling figure. you couldn't help but watch as his arms wrapped themselves around you, pulling you closer to him in an embrace. the tears wanting to escape began pouring out, dripping from your cheeks as they fell between him and you.

‘i don't want to leave.’

‘please don't leave.’

you didn't know how long had it been since you stayed in the same position, holding each other close. with a shaky breath, you began explaining everything; how you found yourself in the dimension and the world you originally belonged — the reality you had to face.

“maybe this would be the last day for me to be here,” you whispered.

he stayed quiet the whole time, not knowing what to say after hearing your explanations. he tried to process your words one by one, wanting to believe such a miracle exist for him and you.

he held you tighter in his arms as he called out to your name, repeating them before finding his tears overflowing as they streamed down his cheeks.

“i promise you,” he began, “i promise you, that i'll find you in our next life. i may be a fictional character in your world, and you will disappear from my world one day, but that won't change a thing. i love you, i love you and i love you —”

he pulled away from you, allowing some space in between as he cupped your face. slowly and gently, he tilted your face up to face him. he could only stare into your glassy eyes, still glistening from the tears. “i promise that in our next life, i'll find you and you'll find me.”

you smiled. “i promise that in our next life, i'll find you and you'll find me.” you repeated his words as your pinkies intertwined into a pinky promise.

you spent your night in his arms, talking about the possible future you might have in your next life, and recalling the memories you shared with him in his world.

the next morning, you were gone in his arms — as if you never existed in first place.

☾ ⋆ * ･゚: ⋆ * ･゚: ✧ * ⋆. *: ･ﾟ ✧ .: ⋆ * ･゚: .⋆ ☾

as you tried to chase after your pet, it stopped right in front of a stranger as it clung onto him lovingly. “i-i'm sorry! i hope it doesn't cause you any trouble,” you panted, stopping next to it as you bowed deeply in front of the stranger who didn't utter a word.

“s-sir?” you called out, confused at his silence. you stood straight as you met the gaze of the familiar looking stranger who stared at you with wide eyes.

as if everything crashed upon you, you stared at him in surprise, your heart aching at the lingering familiarity upon your first meeting.

‘i found you.’

you had never met him before, yet why were you crying?

you both began to walk together as you exchanged greetings and numbers, your pet leading the way towards where it wanna be. what was important, though, was that you both recalled a certain memory from a previous life.

“i promise that in our next life, i'll find you and you'll find me.”

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x y/n #karasuno x reader #shiratorizawa x reader #nekoma x reader #haikyuu imagine #aoba johsai x reader #haikyuu #akaashi x reader #osamu x reader #daichi x reader #inarizaki x reader #fukurodani x reader #asahi x reader #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader

122 notes · View notes

svltzmans · 11 months

Text

she's just not into you - r.b.

robin buckley x fem!lesbian!reader

steve has been looking at y/n y/l/n for months, to no avail. she just seems to have no interest, even with steve's kind gestures. he doesn't understand why. robin does.

a/n:

hi!! omg this is the first time i'm ever writing something like this! i hope someone sees it and likes it lol :) pls ignore any grammar mistakes i tried my best!!

"i can't believe you managed to score a date with the hottest girl in all of hawkins after my millions of failed attempts", steve remarks, his hands running through his almost-too-long coffee-colored locks. "you've seen it! she just isn't into me at all."

"well, you're not exactly tom cruise or anything", robin responds sarcastically, still lugging her trumpet case from the pep rally.

"tom cruise probably couldn't even pull y/n y/l/n anyway."

"but i could."

"don't remind me!"

the two best friends continue down the halls of hawkins high, robin's heart still pounding remembering what she had managed to pull off minutes prior.

she has a date. a real one.

with y/n y/l/n.

she feels like she'll always remember the exact moment y/n's lips lifted into a smile as she accepted her offer.

the hawkins high pep rally was one of robin's least favorite events of the year.

she loved playing the trumpet. she actually really did.

but playing it in front of her high school full of judgemental jocks and cheerleaders wasn't quite her speed.

nonetheless, she knew she would get to see y/n y/l/n in the crowd. and that made her confidently apply a little extra makeup in steve's car, despite the background noise of steve's babbling.

robin's heartbeat kicked up the second steve pulled into the hawkins high parking lot. she scanned the crowd, but caught no sight of the girl she wanted to see.

that was, until she stepped into the stuffy gym and began to ascend the bleachers.

"robin!", a familiar voice sang.

"oh, y/n! hi!"

"i'm excited to hear you play. i'll be right near the band section!"

those words make robin's stomach start to twist.

"i'll make sure to play as best as i can then!"

y/n laughs in a way that makes robin's cheeks flush a red so deep it's almost maroon.

"oh, y/n, i wanted to ask you a question actually."

oh god, it's happening.

"what's up, robin?"

it's actually happening.

"can you meet me below the bleachers at the end of the pep rally?"

robin's heart pounds while she waits for a response. sure, y/n doesn't know her plans, at least not yet. but simply the thought of her and y/n in privacy makes her feel nervous.

"yeah! i'll meet you there!"

robin simply smiles genuinely, nods, and starts the short walk to the band section of the bleachers.

the pep rally flies by in a blur. robin almost forgets the songs she has to play countless times, her mind only focused on what she wanted to say to y/n.

finally, the student population starts to file out of the gym, and robin makes her way to the bottom of the bleachers. to her surprise, y/n is already standing there, leaning against the wall.

"hey rob!"

the nickname sends a chill down robin's spine.

"y/n! you beat me here!"

"i couldn't keep the best trumpet player in hawkins waiting."

robin's face falls flush again, her hands nervously folded in front of her.

"i guess i'm okay. lots of practice."

"no, robin, you're really good at it. i know a pep rally is supposed to be about school spirit and whatever other bullshit, but i was watching you play. and trying to listen despite how loud everything was."

robin is shaken by how genuine y/n sounds. she knew y/n was kind. she had just never experienced it this personally.

she knows she can't hesitate any longer.

"y/n, do you wanna maybe go get a coffee with me tomorrow? after school?"

she had done it. she had asked one of the most coveted girls at hawkins high on a date.

countless hawkins boys had asked y/n out. robin had even witnessed some of the rejections y/n had dished out, noting the guilty look on the girl's face.

and steve was right. he had tried, quite a few different times. y/n was always kind to him, but never in a more than platonic way. he didn't understand why. had he done something wrong?

"of course i will, robs. that sounds like a lot of fun."

robin then understood why.

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #stranger things x reader #wlw

228 notes · View notes

axcel-lucci · 6 months

Note

I know Fullmoon is done, but can I see a continuation where it focuses on female Reader's pregnancy to giving birth. This one focuses on reader's pregnancy and her husband as wereleopard. Law's close friends are also worried about female reader, checking on her so Law wouldn't do something reckless. Luffy, Ace, and Sabo makes an appearance. There's some hints of Ace or Sabo still have feelings for female reader. Maybe after that, another lemon and love making between Law and female reader, after giving birth to twins or triplets.

Full moon

Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

A/n: sorry I was kinda busy, just got my grades and idk if I should laugh or cry- but oh well, also for those new here, here's the first fic:

Full moon

My masterlist~

After finding out they were having twins, a girl and a boy, (y/n) was shocked to find out Law had a small notebook with baby names.

It has girls, boys, and even gender neutral names. He claims he researched the meanings of the names, as well as some names from his and her family that might be a good suit.

She just smiled as he explains everything to her.

But one stuck out the best, in Law's opinion, Corazon and Clarabelle. Corazon being his late uncle, and Clarabelle being, well, it just sounded cute to him.

It was rare to see him really excited that he had a mini zoomie session as he talked about the names, walking around the living room as she watched from the couch.

In the end, they picked the name Corazon and Clarabelle.

A few weeks after that though, Law came home, tired as usual.

"I'm home..." He sighed as he entered

"Law!" She smiled as she walked up to him and kissed his cheek.

She felt his hand rest on her growing belly and lovingly rubbed the top before kissing her forehead

"Hi (y/n)!" Shachi and penguin, his closest friends, called with a smile.

"Oh? Why didn't you tell me they were coming? I would've made more dinner..." She smiled as Law shook his head

"It's alright, they're just visiting. I'll set the table Hun" he smiled as he left to go set the table.

"Come in." (Y/n) nods.

They soon sat down at the living room, and she can tell the two were kinda anxious.

"Do you... Like... Know about his...?" Shachi started, kinda...

"His...? Wereleopard form...?" She tilted her head as the two nodded, "ahh... Yes... I do know, actually... That's the reason I'm pregnant..." She mumbled. As if she's kinda annoyed.

"Oh." The two hummed.

"We won't be too long though, wereleopards are known to be... Protective of their significant others, especially if they're carrying their child. We'd just check in here and there, considering he can be a bit bratty at his time of the moon cycle." Penguin cooed a little.

"I am so not!" Law yelled from the dining room making her laugh.

"He so is..." The two whispered

It made her chuckle, it was nice knowing that law has friends that truly cared about his well being.

A few days after that, Law had applied for a leave. One that's kinda long. It extends from now to at least 5 months after she gives birth, it was kinda shocking that the hospital he works in let's them do all those things.

Only for her to find out he compiled all the leaves he can grab unto and put them all in one single order that he'd have a plenty of time.

Law held her hand as he pushed the cart of groceries while she looked at the list they needed to buy.

"Do we need to buy baby stuff...? Next month is your final month after all..." Law suggests.

"Ah-! I almost forgot...!" She gasped, "but good thing the room is ready... Thanks for that honey" she smiled and kissed his cheek.

His tail must've been wagging if it was out.

"Oh? (Y/n)!" They heard someone call from behind them.

It was Sabo and Ace, her childhood friends... And Luffy strapped to what seemed like a harness being held by Axe so that he wouldn't wander off.

Luffy is already 17 and yet he's being kept on a child-like harness... Kinda accurate.

"Oh, hello Sabo, Ace" she smiled as she squeezed Law's hand when she felt him start to get protective.

The three, well two since Luffy is just being dragged, walked up to them.

"Doing groceries as well?" Sabo smiled as he grabbed Luffy from trying to climb the shelves to get the ships on the higher shelf.

"Mhmm..." She smiled with a nod, "looks like Luffy has not changed a thing"

"Would he change?" Ace said as him and Sabo looked at each other before looking at her.

"Absolutely not" the two said in perfect unison.

Law let go of her hand and placed it on her shoulder, pulling her close to him.

"I can see you're... Pregnant." Sabo hummed, "when's your due?"

"Next month... Actually" she shyly laughed

"Oh? Then you should be resting." Ace suggested

"Nah. I wanted to buy a few things, and right after, we want to buy baby stuff" she smiled as she looked at Law who was glaring at them, "right love?"

"What- oh, yeah... Yeah... But we still need you to rest" Law says, "after buying baby stuff, I want you to lay in bed. Alright?"

"But Law... There's so much to do"

"I can handle it. You should rest."

"Oh alright..." She pouted

"So... Is it a girl or a boy?" Ace asked

"Both, actually. We're having twins" she happily said.

"Oh...! What're their names-"

"I think that's enough talking. (Y/n)... Love, we need to finish shopping so that once we get home, you can rest" Law hummed.

She only chuckled, "I understand..." She smiled before turning to them, "we need to go now. Have fun shopping with Luffy, oh and by the way, he escaped the leash."

"What?!"

...

"That's was tiring..." She sighed as she sat down on the couch after helping law tidy up and decorate the baby's room.

"Do you need some water? Snacks, perhaps?" Law hummed as he sat down next to her, his fuzzy ears and tail out.

"No... I just need you" she smiled as she snuggled up to him

He smiled softly as well and letting her cuddle real close.

"Once you give birth... I'll stay right beside you until you get better.." he whispered and kissed her forehead

"I don't doubt that..." She smiled softly

Timeskip...

She just finished washing the dishes when a sudden pain hit her, when she looked down she saw blood running down her leg.

(Y/n) called Law loudly and as soon as she did, he was right beside her, calling the ambulance and helping her breathe as they load her up.

Law held her hand tightly all throughout, he didn't even leave her side even as she was delivering his children.

When he insisted to be there on the delivery room, the nurses were kinda surprised since most father's they've encountered so far opted to stay out.

But nevertheless, they let him in.

And he did a great job being the perfect husband that he is.

Talking to her while she's in pain, rubbing her hand gently as she push through the pain of giving birth twice.

As she laid on her hospital bed, Law couldn't help but be mesmerized at his children.

How small they were and how fragile they looked.

"Law..." She called him, slightly weak as he came next to her and held her hand

"You need something honey? Water, food, anything?" He asks

She smiled softly, "can I... See them again?"

He nods as he helps her sit up, knowing how even sitting is painful for someone who just gave birth due to the stitches.

He first handed his baby girl, Clarabelle. Then his baby boy, Corazon.

Clarabelle looked exactly like Law. Silver eyes and his raven hair, and Corazon looked like her, with her (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes...

They were absolutely perfect in his eyes.

Someone then knocked on the door, it was his friends, Shachi and penguin, still in their scrubs.

It's apparently their break so they decided to visit.

Law didn't let them hold the baby, he's a bit protective of his little "cubs".

"They look so cute..." Shachi smiled, before backing off, "well... Take good care of them now, Law. We need to go back to work. We can try and help around?"

"No need... You guys are already busy enough" (y/n) smiled

"It's alright, really" penguin nodded, "but if that's what you want... Then... Just call us if you need anything"

"Thanks you two."

After she said that, Law ushered them out.

It made them all laugh at how protective he's already being.

He's really REALLY on ethe edge at the moment, too.

Since the possibility of the curse being passed down unto them is still unknown. But either way, Law knows how to deal with it and help them.

(Y/n) also knows that he'd try his best to help his children, she would, too. of course.

Two years then passed by in a blink. The newborns now small toddlers. Crawling and babbling about.

As the two toddlers were playing in the living room, (y/n) and Law were at the couch, silently watching them.

It seems like Clarabelle, despite looking exactly like Law, was already acting opposite of him, and Corazon is a shy little baby.

Law sighed with a smile and kissed her cheek.

"Whatever it is, no." She crossed her arms with a laugh.

"Oh come on..." He pouted.

He's been nagging for another one for a few days now, it doesn't exactly irritate her, but she's not sure if she's ready yet. Considering the house was only big enough for them.

"Please...? We can... Try" Law hummed and hugged her real tight, "it's full moon tonight, too~"

"Oh shut up" she laughed once more.

"Aww..." He pouted playfully before placing his head on her shoulder, "they look so perfect..."

"They do, don't they?" She smiled softly

#one piece trafalgar law #random #night thoughts #trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x y/n #one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar d law #trafalgar one piece #trafalgardwaterlaw #one piece law #law x you #one piece trafalgar d water law #one piece x reader

92 notes · View notes

eufezco · 2 years

Text

REUNION – E.M. x FEM!READER

This is because I saw that photo of Joseph wearing the Hellfire t-shirt without Eddie's wig and I thought about adult Eddie Munson and agh 😵‍💫 I'll be writing a part 2 and probably 3 so if you wanna be tagged please let me know (part 2 is gonna imply smut) ❣️

english isn't my first language

masterlist

You arrived at Hawkins a month before the reunion. You bought a house in the midwestern town a couple of years ago, when you started making real money out of your artworks. You thought it would be a good idea to have a second home in some remote location and what better place for that than your home town. The house was big, probably bigger than you needed it to be and it was decorated with some of your pieces of art, trusting that the solitude of Hawkins would keep your works safe. Plus, the house was located really close to your parents', who after the earthquake and everything that happened after that never really left Hawkins but strongly encouraged you to leave as far away as you could. Your parents could see your house from theirs, and they could tell if an intruder had broken into it looking for your worldwide coveted artworks. Also, after your horrendous break-up a couple of months ago, they wanted to have you around. But at some point you would have to get your life back, you couldn't let this hold you back for the rest of your days.

Your friend Nancy had been planning this reunion for months now, it was her idea to get the crew back together after more than ten years, and after most of you had followed different paths. The chosen place for the reunion was her own house, the Byers’ house. Nancy and Jonathan married not so long ago yet it seemed like they had been married since the first day they started dating. Nancy and Jonathan worked together at the biggest newspaper in the entire state of Indiana. She, as the ambitious and perfectionist teen she used to be, ended up as the newspaper director and editor, Jonathan was the main photographer and subdirector of it. They had covered every one of your exhibitions in their newspaper and you couldn't be more thankful to them because they have always had nice words for you and your art. Out of everyone in the group, they were the only ones remaining in Hawkins and you weren't quite sure if they actually lived here, but you knew that they did spend a lot of time in Hawkins because Joyce and Hopper wanted them close to help them with the first years as a married couple and during Nancy's pregnancy.

Joyce and Hopper also got married, which could not make you any happier after all they had been through. They also had a house in Hawkins but you were sure that they spent most of the year in Lenora because Hopper was surprisingly tanned when you saw him in the supermarket, and thanks to El and Mike being in college, they made the right decision moving to a better place.

Will told you that Mike and El went to the same college, along with Dustin and Suzie. By this time, you assumed they should be finishing their degrees or already applying for jobs. Mike studied psychology, El decided to study biology, and Dustin, of course, chose physics. And as far as Will told you and by his facial expression when he did, El and Mike were still dating. Dustin and Suzie did too. They both were studying physics which was great because they could spend more time together. How cute, you thought when Will told you.

Will was happy. Well, most of the time. He was happy when he was around you or when he wasn't having an existential crisis which made him paint more and somehow create better works. He also was happy when he was around that cute boy he claimed to only be friends with. Liar, you thought. You basically addopted him after he was accepted into one of the most ambitious art colleges. Well, of course you didn't adopt him in the literal sense of the word, but it was almost as if you did. He was your pupil, you helped him with his college work, teaching him new techniques, different points of view of one piece of art, new ways of processing colors... He accompanied you to your exhibitions, posing with you for the newspapers and magazines, and always giving him a space in your galleries for his works so people could admire his art and Will could start gaining some recognition, not only as your protegé. Will lived with you and your fiancé. Well, now it was only you and Will, but your fiancé used to adore him. He used to say that Will would be the one to continue your artistic legacy which was a strong relief because you knew he was talented as fuck.

Lucas and Erica Sinclair attended one of your biggest exhibitions in New York and that was the last time you saw them. Lucas got a scholarship to play basketball and quickly became one of the most promising basketball players of all time and Erica was nothing less than his trainer. They both built prestigious careers on their own and now every elite athlete wanted to train with Erica Sinclair, and every brave-enough-basketball player wanted to play against Lucas Sinclair.

Steve went to college as his father had always wanted him to and yet Mr. Harrington wasn't happy with Steve. He didn't pick business nor law as his father wanted. Instead, Steve studied education. Deep down he always knew that he had to do something related to kids. He never stopped working hard and started saving money to leave his parent's house. Robin wanted the same for her so they moved in together when they got the money. You went to visit them a couple of times, getting drunk with cheap alcohol and talking all night about stupidities. That was probably when you saw them for the last time. Robin took a fashion design course and Steve worked in a kindergarten. Steve met a cute girl who was a single mom and with whom he fell in love immediately. Her daughter adored teacher Steve. They always spent at least a quarter of an hour after the classes finished and all the parents were finally gone talking about the little girl that bonded them, the little girl not wanting to leave Steve's side until her mom said it was time to go home. They eventually moved in together and now they had a beautiful daughter and were expecting another one. Next to Steve's kindergarten was Robin's boutique. She lived with her friend, a girl that she met in the fashion course and with whom she seemed to be very close friends with.

You were the happiest knowing that your friends were living a good life.

You arrived late to the reunion. Everyone was already there, well, at least you thought everyone was already there when you and Will got to Nancy and Jonathan's house. Your face was decorated with a big and bright smile after seeing all your friends reunited again. You started by hugging the two hosts, noticing how Nancy's belly was getting bigger. You asked her to remind you how far along she was and she let you touch her belly to feel the baby kicking. Cute, but not for me, you thought. Then, you hugged everyone else, a wave of memories taking over you every time someone wrapped their arms around you. Being all together again was like when you go on a trip for a really long time and then you come back home to find your comfy bed and not just some random matress in some hotel. It was a hot coffee on a winter day, it was walking in the rain, enjoying the raindrops but not getting wet thanks to an umbrella, it was spending Christmas at home and it was waking up in the morning because of the sunbeams.

Will went to talk to Mike, El, Dustin, Lucas, and Erica who were enjoying Nancy and Jonathan's expensive wine while sitting and laughing on the living room couches. Seeing them with glasses of wine was the most shocking thing ever, they were still kids for you. You were talking with Robin and Steve. Both of them seemed very happy. Steve pulled from his wallet a picture of his little girl, showing it to you like the proud dad he was. The baby was chubby and her hair was tied in two pigtails, a big smile on her little face. You were about to compliment the baby when someone knocked on the door of the house, were you expecting anyone else? Maybe it was Joyce and Hopper who decided to join, maybe it was–

"No way." Dustin said, standing up from the couch and raising his hands to his head. Lucas and Mike let out a surprised chuckle, also standing up from the sofa. You looked at the door, where everyone's eyes were focusing after Jonathan opened it. Your eyes opened wide, your mouth dropped, and your glass of wine almost fell from your hands when you saw Eddie Munson entering the house followed by Max Mayfield. Everyone approached them and hugged them, you just stood there, waiting for everybody to get out of your way so you could wrap your arms around the rockstar. Before you could, he approached you, his big arms opened and a bright smile on his face as he walked towards you. You smiled at him and you left your glass on the living room table so you could hug him properly. His cologne was intoxicating and his hand rubbing your back gave you goosebumps.

Eddie Munson was the guitarist of Corroded Coffin. Yes, that small band that used to play in Gareth's garage was now worldwide famous. Tours, interviews, photoshoots, fame, concerts, recognition, fans, money... Eddie Munson had everything he once dreamed of. And so did Max. Even though it was a metal band, they still needed a lyricist and a manager and Max Mayfield was the best at her job. You had followed their music career, you had seen them on the cover of the Rolling Stones magazine on many occasions. They reminded you of you and Will, Eddie had Max under his wing. You went to hug the redhead girl and she hugged you back tightly, so happy to see you again.

Will and Max sat together during dinner, throwing glances at you and Eddie who were sitting in front of each other at the big table. Your eyes and Eddie's couldn't help but look at each other every five seconds. If he was handsome when he was a teenager, now he was even more handsome as a grown man. He let his beard grow enough to make it sexy and not to make him look older. His hair was shorter but his curls remained there as well as his rosy lips, just as you remembered them. Eddie took his time to check you out as well. You had become a grown, independent, and beautiful woman. He had followed your artistic career too, how could he not? You were the most successful out of them all. Not the basketball player, not him, not the lyricist but you. Everyone talked about your paintings although now you were on the cover of every gossip magazine. Yes, he knew about that too.

You noticed that your glances with Eddie weren't the only tense ones, everyone could feel the tension in Max and Lucas' eyes staring into each other and you thanked it was bigger and stronger than yours and Eddie's so you both could go unnoticed. The rest of the people at the table talked but you only could pay attention to Eddie chuckling after looking at his redhead friend sitting by his side. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were now focused on the food in front of her as she nudged Eddie. If someone had told Max before she arrived that tables would turn this way...

Eddie ran his fingers through his hair before lighting a cigarette. He had to park a few blocks before getting to the Byers' house, and now they had to walk to the house. Max followed him, her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.

"You know that she will be there, don't you?"

Eddie hummed, taking a long drag of the cigarette. "And you know he will be there, don't you?" He asked back to his friend. Max rolled her eyes. Lucas was water under the bridge to her. Eddie didn't believe so. He had seen the lyrics she doesn't show to anybody and those words were not written by someone who has gotten over her ex.

"You're single now." Max pointed out. Eddie nodded his head, letting the cigarette smoke out of his mouth. He was single now, but even when he was married, Max's songs about first loves and how you never really get over that first person hit too close to home.

During dessert, everyone talked about how their lives were and some cute and funny memories were brought to the conversation by Dustin and Will. You all laughed remembering all the things you did when you were teenagers and used to live in the same town; from falling in love to fighting demons and emerging victorious in the process. When Jonathan and Steve started pouring the drinks, everyone's bodies started to heat up. Eddie took off the blazer he was wearing, revealing the tattoos on his arms and the veins running down them until they found his hands, which you noticed were decorated with big silver rings. All of you got up from the table when you were done. Jonathan put a vinyl on the turntable when you moved to the living room, everyone kept talking but you decided to turn your back to them and stare into the painting on the wall, taking short sips out of your glass of wine.

"Is it yours?"

He stood behind you. Maybe closer than he should be because you could feel the warmth of his body against yours. You nodded to his question, pressing your lips together, you weren't quite proud of this one for some reason. "It's good." Eddie confessed. You turned to look at him with your eyebrows raised.

"Since when Eddie Munson knows about art?"

He chuckled. Suddenly he seemed to be closer than before. "Since never. But he knows a pretty thing when he sees one." Your cheeks and ears warmed up as you took another sip out of your glass and he did as well, after subtly looking up and down on you with suspicious smile on his lips

"How was your breakup?" A playful and devilish grin appeared on his lips after asking. You rolled your eyes but decied to attack back.

"How was your divorce?"

He laughed while bowing his head. "Touché."

His engagement appeared everywhere and also did when not even a year after the couple decided to split up. Eddie and you talked long enough during the night about nonsenses that really helped you escape that awful topic that had been haunting you everywhere for the last months. He was the only person that could joke about your breakup and yet you would know that he cared about how you felt about it. You didn't want to talk about it anymore, people had talked about it enough for you, making up the most random assumptions and spreading false rumors about why you had broken up months before you walked down the aisle. But, luckily Eddie asked you about a lot of other things, probably knowing that you didn't want to talk about that and he also talked to you about what future plans and projects him and Max had.

Mike approached you both, interrupting a sweet conversation you were having about how you two should see each other as much as you used to do. "Nancy is too tired already so we're heading to my parent's basement. You know, relieve old times. Are you two coming?"

You looked at each other and Eddie took one last sip out of his glass. "Yeah, sure." He answered for both of you. Mike nodded, and walked away.

"Actually, we could go to my place instead." You suggested, the words came out of your mouth before your brain could process them. The man who was ready to join the rest turned to you, his eyebrows raised, surprised by your offer.

"You have a house here? In Hawkins?"

You nodded to his question.

"And you wanna show it to me?" Eddie took a few steps toward you, a playful smile on his lips and his body almost towering over yours. He had always known how nervous that made you. It did back in high school and it still did now more than ten years later. Him being taller than you and having to look down to stare into your eyes, his tongue getting his lips wet, his hot body that close to yours... He was so close that you could see through the thin silky fabric of his shirt the tattoos decorating his chest. You shook your head, emerging from the trance in which his scent held you, you rolled your eyes and smacked his shoulder. Eddie laughed and separated from you. He didn't ask questions like why were you only inviting him nor why the color of your irises had disappeared thanks to how big your pupils were because probably the same thing had happened to his eyes. Your eyelashes fluttered slowly as you waited for his answer.

#stranger things #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst #stranger things smut #stranger things imagine #stranger things x fem!reader #stranger things scenarios #stranger things headcanons #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson scenarios

414 notes · View notes

fuck-you-upmusicbracket · 4 months

Text

Undertale (Undertale)

"It's the culmination of leitmotifs from the entire game while the monsters explain the story of why they're trapped and how they still have faith in the king after all this time. Toby Fox actually said this song's original version was too sad. It's not a sad song, it's a hopeful one. and that's what hits so hard."

Easier (The Crane Wives)

I learned to lie/I learned to grow/I learned to hold it for a while and then/Let it go/I learned to take/I learned to keep/Please tell me someday/I'll at least be able to sleep

"It's a double whammy because I started out applying it to a blorbo (Vash from Trigun) due to other lines in the song than the ones I submitted, namely the first two verses and choruses which I won't type out here but I highly recommend you look up the lyrics for. Then, I ended up applying it to myself due to the lyrics I submitted above. About a year and a few months ago I developed chronic vertigo due to a curve in my neck, or at least that's what I believe the cause to be. It's not always dizziness, most times it's just soreness from the pressure put on my neck and shoulder muscles, which has been made worse by my posture shifting due to only being able to sleep in one position. Recently things have been worse, and there were several nights where I couldn't just lay down and sleep, I had to wait for my medication to knock me out. Things have been a bit better, lately, but I still have to wait until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open before I even attempt trying to sleep or else I'll get a wave of dizziness. With those symptoms and the fact that I can't lay on my back or look straight up or sleep on any side but my stomach without becoming severely dizzy, I've been frequently looking back on my life and how I took such simple things for granted because I never thought I'd have trouble with them before I got old or something. It's likely that this condition is not unfixable, but we aren't sure just what WILL fix it yet. It'll take time, of course, if it is a posture issue like I believe it is, but I hold out hope that it won't be forever. Some nights it's just harder to hold onto that hope. So when I'm passing the time on a bad night by listening to my Trigun-themed playlist and Easier comes on, usually I have to skip it to avoid breaking down crying if I get to thinking too hard."

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #undertale #the crane wives

22 notes · View notes

kakarorin · 5 months

Text

Defending "The Road to El Dorado" from a couple racist claims, or how I, being so cheeky, like to call it: Covering myself in sugar in order to attract some nasty little bugs🐞

For some reason, 2024 seems to be the year when I can't tolerate "The Road to El Dorado is packed with racism" discourse anymore. A couple days ago, I stumbled across a very colourful gifset which encapsulated perfectly all the objectively wrong arguments (save for half... one... one and a half... It depends) I've ever seen people give out to explain why they don't like the movie (@/neechees: If by some unlikely chance you're reading this, I wish we could have talked about it calmly. I'm a very open-minded person, unlike you seem to be). I've seen them SO many times that I think I hit my limit. Long story short, I got defensive, which I regret, shame on me, told the op they were wrong, as they are, op responded, and I got blocked before I could respond back. I honestly don't know why they blocked me after responding. I don't know if they sensed I know much more about the Aztec Conquest than they do, but well... Occam's razor.

After I calmed down, tried to reach to them because I genuinely wanted to talk about it, and failed, I decided I was going to break their post down as minutely as I could, even if just to get it off my shoulders and toss it into the void, and polished what I told one of the people who reblogged op's post saying they were right into this lengthy post. Purely because I love debating about movies I love. And boy, do I LOVE this movie.

Before starting, I'm letting you know that, as far as I know, I'm 100% white. And I'm also from Spain (Europe. Clarifying this for the Americans), which understandably gives me the advantage of having lived (and living) through the subtle remnants of the wretched Spanish Black Legend. Yet none of these two things stopped me from looking up historical papers, podcasts and documentaries (further than YouTube's video essays, I mean) so I could understand that this sort of... slander was indeed, part of that concept. I don't see how being of a particular race or ethnicity gives you the right to speak about recorded history as objective facts without doing your research and applying your critical thinking to it, either. Does op think that just because they're Native-American, as they say (just in case, can't believe anything you read on the internet these days), a person who has spent hours, days, months educating themselves about Hernán Cortés, poor Malinche and the Aztec Conquest from serious sources can't have more knowledge than them? Smh, op, smh. It does give you right over feelings, and obviously, your own experiences, though. Hope you still understand that factual knowledge is an entirely different thing.

That being said, at the end of the day, save for the very easy-to-check historical facts (which I will provide sources for if asked, although I believe you can very easily research it yourself), this is my opinion about why "The Road to El Dorado" is regarded as much more racist than it actually is. If you want to give me yours or respond to it, please, by all means, do it. Respectfully and with clear and valid reasons, of course. Otherwise, I'll have to ignore you. Understand that what you read below is the limit of my thinking and reading. Enjoy, or hate. Call me a racist. Send a WHITE meme my way. Up to you.

I'd link you to the post, but I don't feel like it. They blocked me, after all. You can search my blog for it. It's tagged as "neechees". And be sure to read their tags on the post as well, for context. Anyway, here go their "objective truths". Debunking time starts... now:

(EDIT: This is filled with edits. See how my opinion can change and I can clarify or rectify? Anyway, stating the obvious, but I believe Spanish colonization is bad. In any part of the world. I won't give you a single good aspect of it, except for that at least it was based on a different mindset than British colonization. Maybe there are fairly good aspects. After all, they say Romans gave us Spaniards roads and sewage systems. We'd have to take a look at an alternative reality where it didn't happen to make an objective claim. But, believe me, if it had been for me, I'd have pushed Cortés off the ship a good bunch of nautical miles before he reached what is now known as Veracruz, whatever good things he ended up doing. Bear that in mind.)

1. The cultures are mashed up in one city, that is true. But there is no explicit racist (implying prejudice, discrimination or antagonism, as I understand racism, or as racism is actually defined) motive behind it. I don't think it's done out of unthoughtfulness, either. I'm pretty sure it's just done to leave the place ambiguous, because (tell you more later), with Cortés involved and what went down with him historically, that place is much more meant to be Tenochtitlán than the legendary city of El Dorado. They didn't want to make that so explicit because this is a retelling, after all (tell you more later). I honestly don't see how anyone could think that the resulting city and culture are portrayed in a negative way. Sometimes, I'm not even sure these people were paying attention when watching the movie (if they ever did). In fact, if it weren't for the title of their post, I wouldn't even understand the point in this.

2. Oh boy, this is exactly what triggered me to say something instead of just putting it on my blog silently. This is how I know the op has ZERO knowledge about the historical event behind it, because they wouldn't say this is right if they did. There is no such thing as a (EDIT:) sufficiently collective "Spanish lie that Native-American (NA) people believed they were gods" (NEVER listen to a Spaniard who claims this. EDIT: Like López de Gómara. They're delulu), this has never had any kind of historical relevance (in the outcome and influence of history, I mean), and the NA people in the movie are not worshipping the white guys because they're white. The whole plot, arriving in a city and being mistaken for a god because your arrival coincided with an ancient premonition in such a precise way that it is fascinating, is exactly what happened to Cortés when he reached the capital of the Aztec Empire, Tenochtitlán. He was believed to be the reincarnation of Quetzalcóatl, and that's why he could enter the city peacefully and live in it for a short amount of time. The concept of the movie seems to be "What if this, instead of happening to a conquistador (in which is implicit the catholic element) who quickly said he was no god when he realised what was happening (because of the sin of idolatry), happened instead to two atheist looters who are ultimately good-hearted (NOT colonizers, because they didn't try to claim the land or control it) who weren't stopped by the fear to sin and took advantage of the situation?" That's it. The premonition happened to fall on a white man hundreds of years ago (who also came from the east, same place Quetzalcóatl left to and said he'd return from) and so does in the movie story because it mirrors real history, and, again, I fail to see the negative portrayal in all of this because it's certainly NOT because they're white. I think the op also took it salty that I said they had zero knowledge about "the very people they're trying to defend", which I still believe, but this is complex and I'll only explain this if asked. What I meant by that, on the surface, is that NA people also enslaved NA people. I seriously hope op doesn't think NA slavery is more acceptable if it comes from other NA people than white people. Who knows, at this point.

3. This is essentially right. It's the only thing I think is mostly right, actually. It's no problem for me, though. I love Chel, she's beautiful and aesthetically pleasing to me. But I can understand why it may put someone off. All good. However, I still wanna say that the Aila test is just a way of assessing indigenous women representation as positive and negative, and not the work in itself as problematic if it doesn't pass it. The Lord of the Rings doesn't pass the Bechdel test and I have never seen anyone calling it problematic because of that, nor do I need positive representation (I'm a woman. Sort of. It fluctuates) on it to enjoy it. Although I figure I'd feel the same if I were NA, I can't and won't speak for one. So I still give you that.

4.1. This is wrong in three ways. First, Tzekel-kan is not "demonized as evil". He is evil. He's not evil because he's NA, he is evil because he killed, he lied, and he abused his power. There are NA people in the movie who are kind and good (everyone but him, I believe), and then there's him. In every race and ethnicity, there are good, neutral and bad people. And people who are sometimes good, and sometimes bad. If all the NA people were painted in a morally white and good way, that special treatment would come off as positive discrimination to me. Why can't he be a sociopathic genocider AND indigenous at the same time without being considered as racist? Does that mean all indigenous people have to be/are morally white? If all the other NA characters were demonized, I'd understand it, but it's the opposite. Also, Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, the (redundant) emperor of an Empire who enslaved other NA people. And, surprise, just like Cortés, I don't think the guy was evil. I think this is probably another reason why they didn't want to make clear the specific culture. I could see the racism if they had tried to directly compare Tzekel-kan with Moctezuma, I would perfectly be able to see the claim that Moctezuma was a sociopathic genocider, and I'd recognise that as racist. But in this case, it's just loose inspiration. Not a parody.

4.2. There was NO genocide in the Spanish NA colonies. There was NO legal slavery, save for a few unfortunate loopholes (tell you more later). (EDIT: careful, I'm NOT defending his monumental fuck-ups or justifying him in any way, just so you know. In my opinion, he was a fair lot more bad than good, but not 100% bad. If you get me) Hernán Cortés did a lot of undeniably wrong things, but he did good things too. I don't think you can say he was a good person, no person who'd say that would be a friend of mine, but I don't think he was a 100% evil person. Just a person, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Still, when he was bad, he was bad. And what op said about that they didn't care enough about him to write his name properly, BOY how that ticked me off. People, for all you hold dear, you have to CARE to know about such important historical figures in order to understand the history behind them and the outcomes of their actions. Especially within such a sensitive topic. It's when stories like this are ignored or forgotten, that history tends to repeat itself. The fact that I care to spell Hernán Cortés well has not the respectful positive connotation they think, either. And despite what you may believe, we Spaniards do NOT think he did everything right and much less that he was a hero. I think some Mexicans think we all do, but I don't know why. Only the most idiotic "fachas" (ultraright people) do.

4.3. One, he was not enslaved (tell you more later). Two, well, since he tried to mass-murder the inhabitants of the city, I... I do reckon putting him away was a good ending. Jesus, he tried to purge the city of citizens HE deemed unworthy in the name of a divine power (=on a religious basis) with the clear intention to wipe them out. It's clearly stated more than once throughout the movie. If you didn't know, by objective definition, the name of that starts with 'G' and ends with 'ENOCIDE'. And when that failed, he actively tried to drive the colonizers to them. Only because of that, he was technically much more of a genocider than the historical Cortés ever was. Are his actions really justified just because he's indigenous? Doesn't he deserve a punishment just because of it? I see "slavery" (if it were. Since enslaving NA in Spanish colonies was illegal at the time, I'd say he was kidnapped, in the strict sense of the word. Bit funny to word it like that) as a punishment more than fitting for his crimes. I think you all should drill this into your head: ANY abusive leader involved in (I can't believe I'm going to say this, but socially unacceptable) murder deserves to be punished in some way independently of his race, ethnicity or religion. This is something I believe firmly, so you have very little room to debate with me on this one. Do try, if you want.

By the way, I LOVE Tzekel-kan to death. Just the way he is. A charismatic, fanatical, sociopathic fictional high priest who tried to cleanse his city in the name of his gods through murder and human sacrifice, a practice that the other NA inhabitants very obviously did NOT enjoy (well, that definitely rings a historical bell). If you hadn't noticed, or perhaps thought it was impossible, let me tell you this: you can actually love evil characters without justifying their actions. It's legal. 100%. Unlike slavery in NA Spanish colonies at the time.

5. I don't see exactly how spirituality is portrayed as evil. More specifically, I don't see how the movie's actual magic is considered Aztec spirituality. Not a fan nor a hater of Hazbin Hotel, but I've seen one of the demon characters around Twitter using literal voodoo in a very unthoughtfully wrong way. That's a big no-no, in my opinion. And I see a clear difference with this because there is nothing in the stone jaguar magic that single-handedly resembles what Aztec religion actually was. I'm not saying this can't be done in a wrong way with indigenous NA spirituality, nor that they didn't take elements from it (they did), I just think that with all the context behind the movie, here it's just magic that serves a plot function. Aesthetic Aztec/Maya patterns appear here and there, arguably because those are the "places" where it's geographically based (and because Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, who was the religious spiritual leader who received the Quetzalcóatl premonition), but at the end of the day, I don't think it's much more than the fantasy you typically find in a kids' movie. No specific religion was portrayed as evil, no specific gods were portrayed as evil, the magic in itself wasn't portrayed as evil. In the movie, it was black magic because Tzekel-kan, who was evil, used it for evil. Who says that a giant stone cat can ONLY serve evil purposes? I'd use it for good, personally. Maybe transportation. Maybe architecture. Decoration. Festivities. (CW: 26-year-old making a boomer joke) Maybe to instill cordial fear among my neighbours.

EDIT: I've been thinking about this these days and I realised that in the specific stone jaguar "spell", Tzekel-kan needs to toss his poor aide into the mix for it to "activate". That is much more evil than neutral, so maybe I can kind of see this point now. And human sacrifice was part of some of these religions, after all, so maybe it does point towards Aztec spirituality. Still, as it didn't come off as evil to me until I've THOROUGHLY thought about it, I feel like questioning things. Does the "spell" need a human body, or an animal body would have served? The "recipe" doesn't state anything. It's Tzekel-kan who pushes him in. Do ALL the "spells" need a body to "activate"? Maybe not. I feel like maybe I can give you a part of this argument. But still... Hmm. I don't know. We were stuck with an evil religious high priest, but that doesn't necessarily mean ONLY he could use magic. Nor that ALL the magic was evil. But yeah, alright. I can sort of see this now... a bit.

6. I can give you this... for the most part. Knowing it mirrors history, and that historically, it was white men who rid the NA people enslaved by the Aztec Empire (which I believe is what the people of El Dorado ended up portraying, somehow oppressed by Tzekel-kan's sacrifices) of the Aztec Empire (even if woefully just to take their place), I'm not sure it's so simple. I still don't fully see it as plain white saviour narrative with that background info. In any case, I think my mind can be changed about this with the right argumentation. Surely not by a person who has no knowledge about history. Sorry, op.

7.1. For my next trick, I'll blow your mind: Cortés was no big bad evil genocider. He wasn't a golden-hearted saint or saviour either. Frankly, I believe most people think he was similar to Christopher Columbus (of whom I don't know as much, but sounds pretty 100% evil to me with what I have) by default. I'm also very certain they watched the movie and took that version of him as a faithful representation, but in reality he was very different. He was short, he was slender, he was way more charismatic, way less solemn and serious, and he had the reputation of a womanizer. He committed atrocities, like torturing and murdering the last Huey Tlatoani for rumours (Jesus, the Cholula massacre), but he also treated most indigenous people with respect (when he wasn't pathologically obsessed with gold), he talked with Moctezuma as if he were his kin, he always tried to negotiate before grabbing his arms, he listened to and followed the advice of an indigenous woman (Malinche). And once he had done the deed, his reputation was sunk, he was stripped of most of his titles and compensation for what he had done (karma? Possibly), and he had practically no say in the new territories. He went there for the gold above all, and all the crimes he committed were in its name. But unlike Miguel and Tulio (this is the reason why they're not colonizers, only looters), he ALSO wanted to seize control of the land for the Spanish Empire. As an anti-colonialist Spaniard, I can't help boiling up in anger every time I see someone call Miguel and Tulio colonizers. They are NOT coloziners, just like we are NOT colonizers. Our country was, hundreds of years ago. The people who claimed that land as theirs and believed that gave them the right to exploit it for centuries were. And believe me, if we're still here and have descended from humble families for more than 5 centuries, none of our ancestors saw a single piece of gold.

7.2. This is part of a broader topic but Cortés acted in the name of the Spanish Empire, who, thanks to Queen Isabella the Catholic and the laws she passed, considered NA people as citizens of the Crown and therefore could not be enslaved (legally), not to mention genocided. Physically genocided, I mean, because the cultural genocide is undeniable. And still, while so many parts of so many different cultures disappeared, some things like the Maya and Nahua languages were kept. Even if little, that means something. I find some comfort in that, especially when you take a look at what happened to indigenous people in British colonies. In relation to this, there's this something that's been haunting Spain since a thousand years ago that gains relevance when talking about this, called the Spanish Black Legend. Basically anti-Spain propaganda coming from other European countries demonizing everything the country had done/does. It started out of rivalry and envy. Nowadays, it's hard to say. This is why Hernán Cortés is always seen as an evil genocider, but not other colonizers like Julius Caesar from the Roman Empire. It also makes my blood curdle because it sticks with us in the most annoying ways possible. While American people tend to think Spain is part of Latin America, European people tend to think we're dumb, don't know other languages apart from Spanish and only like partying, and our collective international sentiment, especially facing other Europeans, is often shame. Ashamed to say you're from Spain, because there's only so many "España mucho fiesta and siesta" a sane person can take from people who only come to your country to raise the living costs, drink, sunbathe and throw themselves off balconies to jump in hotel pools. Look "balconing" up. God I HATE British people. In any case, to wrap this up, this Black Legend is also why everyone believes the Spanish colonization was the same as the British colonization. By norm, the British predated, but the Spanish generated (in America, because the Spanish DID enslave African people), despite all the horrible things it did. Because it did them.

Lastly, and just because it was also part of op's response, I want to say that I have no opinion about what negative impact this movie could have in terms of being a version of the Colombian legend of El Dorado. I don't know anything about that. I don't understand it, either. If someone wants to explain to me in which specific ways making a movie like this about it could be harmful to anyone (not the legend in itself, I think you can see I know as much), please tell me so I can think critically about it and contrast it. But please, specify the harm and consequences so I can understand them.

Jesus, I'm tired, but I want to say you CAN dislike the movie. I don't give two floating specks of dust whether you do or don't. What I do care about is that most arguments people use to say so are wrong, or rather, lack historical knowledge to support them. Or rather, there is historical knowledge which flat-out cancels them out. There IS negative portrayal on the basis of unthoughtfulness (like Chel and the Aila test), but NEVER in a mean way. On the whole, it's not the unsalvageable blatantly racist skeleton that has to be kept in the closet under lock and key that some people think it is. And, by the way, I'm very curious about why I have yet to see the same discourse about Inca portrayal in "The Emperor's New Groove". Feel free to toss it my way in case it exists and it's just I haven't seen it yet.

If you've reached this point, congratulations. Here's a disturbing little fact about me as a reward: this whole fixation that I have started because in 2020 I had a dream about this Hernán Cortés and Tzekel-kan having sex.

#the road to el dorado #dreamworks #el dorado #racism #chel #tzekel kan #tzekel-kan #miguel and tulio #hernán cortés #neechees #tagging you as well in hopes to reach you. kinda growing fond of you #you go after my little meow meow who did nothing wrong #viva españa hostia #viva vigo. cagon tal #franco franco que tiene el culo blanco

19 notes · View notes

sumire-no-nikki · 7 months

Text

To Be Here

October. My beloved October. The kotatsu blanket is back on, the indoor plants don't need as much watering, the fallen leaves in the backyard need sweeping and the Summer clothes have been put away. Funny how many friends I've recently chatted with about the bliss that comes with October. It's a burst of orange ochre and apple red in my head. When the season turned, the sun who has since made herself scarce is a warm embrace whenever she pokes her head out. The wind and clouds are constant companions. The evening is perfect for mysterious reads under candlelight. What a splendid month.

As I am typing this, however, October is nearly done. Something this good always leaves too soon, doesn't it? I love the first taste of cold after the pesky Summer heat and September’s false promises of colder days. October is where it really gets going. But it's always nearly done before I feel like I can properly savor it. How melancholy!! But isn’t that how it always goes? Love is more deeply felt after only the crater it left is the one thing you’ve got to remember it by? Love defined by the lack, the absence, the loss? There will never be enough Octobers for me. I’m a creature of want in this way, yearning is an instinct for me. I watch the days go by and the thought that there won’t be another October until next year is like quicksand for my mind.

That said I’ve spent the month working diligently and on the whole being rather productive in both work and personal matters. There’s this project I’ve started and making good progress on! Once completed I promised myself a trip where I can apply what I’ve learned and I’m so excited to reach that goal. I’ve also read a lot this month. I really surprised myself. I’ve read six books and the month isn’t over yet! I read two Agatha Christie books, all three of the Toshikazu Kawaguchi series (the fourth one is coming out next month!! And I’ll have to read the fifth one in Japanese because I don’t want to wait for the translation to come out!!!) I also read Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library as recommended by a friend and I'm so glad she brought it up! I've had a copy of it for ages but just never managed to pick it up due to associated memories (it was given to me by someone during a bad period in my life!!) I swear that book might've just saved my life. I also finished two manga volumes in Japanese this month. It's a series called Yotsuba&! which is just the most wholesome series. Maybe I'll talk about it someday on here. But that series is such a light in my life. I picked it up on one particularly tough day last week and it instantly revived hope in my heart that there's still good out there no matter what.

Other things I've been up to: I've been running a lot these days and I'm actually surprising myself with how much I enjoy it. Earlier today (I'm typing this before bed) I went on a run while it was drizzling. I felt like a kid playing in the rain. I couldn't stop smiling!

Also, the podcast show I mentioned some entries ago!! Case 63!! It has a season 2!! Actually, I found out it's originally by a Chilean writer, so the version I listened to is an English adaptation. Anyway, I'm so happy there's more of it. Season 3 is the final season in Spanish so I expect the English adaptation of that will also be made (since they went so far as to continue with season 2). Fingers crossed! I'm so intrigued as to how it will end!!

As for TV, I started and finished watching HBO's Barry in like a week. I was absorbed!! All four seasons! Mind you, each episode is only 30 mins so it wasn't really that long. It's such a funny and dark show I love it so much. I've heard good things about it through the years but I never found the time to get into it. Plus I have this terrible illness of "I-Can't-Get-Into-Things-When-It's-Super-Mainstream-I-Need-To-Wait-Until-The-Hype-Dies-Down-itis" lol. No, seriously I just didn't feel like getting into a new show until this month apparently. But I'm so glad I watched it. The show is a goldmine, the best Hollywood/LA culture satire I've seen in ages. The way it highlights the gender gap in the workplace, how a writer must compromise on truth in order to sell something, even the way a woman needs to be a "perfect victim" in order for her story to be worth anything! It's so witty!! And the central question of can people truly change--I'll be thinking about this show for a long time. It's so good. Watch it if you can.

Early this month I also managed to sneak a quick trip to Croatia and Slovenia which was so relaxing and peaceful. Trips can be quite stressful for me especially when it's a big city full of tourists due to my OCD (I'm looking at you Paris, and literally all of Italy smh... jk jk) But this trip was restorative and gave me a genuine sense of discovery and wonder, which is what I aim to travel for.

I've been listening to the new Mitski album and rethinking my home library's organisation system! I haven't decided yet but I mainly want my Classical Mythology books, both fiction and non-fiction in one area. Also wishing I bought two Caryatid statues in Athens last year instead of one! Would've been nice for her to have a buddy!!

Now, the title of this entry comes from a realisation I had this month--a very important one. As someone whose nature is to think and think and think, it's difficult to be in the present. I'm always in agony over the past, and anxious about the future. I can be quite dismissive of what's in front of me as a result. This is a chronic issue of mine. But while reading The Midnight Library, tucked in my reading chair, savoring the scent of a pumpkin pie candle, all the pieces of advice I've read both online and in person suddenly clicked.

When writing a first draft of a novel, it simply needs to exist.

When making art, it simply needs to be there.

When yearning to do something, I must attempt it

When wanting to exist, I simply am.

I just need to be here in the most literal sense. To be. Not in the past tense, not in the future tense. There's no need for qualifiers. There is no standard to fulfill. I know this is neither new nor revolutionary, but in the embrace of an October evening, digesting this advice and accepting it made me feel so brave.

It hit me like a sucker punch. I thought, I need to untangle my sense of self and my worth from anything external. I cannot keep on doing this to myself. Because the truth is if I don’t stop this constant self-flagellation, I have simply replaced my mother in adulthood. I will have been no different from her and her constant need to criticise me. This is something I've been actively trying to improve recently and I can feel myself getting better. I feel, somewhat ironically, that by being present, I'm regaining a sense of hope that I haven't felt since childhood. Like somehow my past is healed and my future is assured.

So despite how much I've gone on about loving October at the beginning of this entry, as much as I know I will miss it, I have to be where I am. That means accepting that all things end--good or bad. That means being in November when it comes. That means understanding that what I've lost, while dearly missed, is out of my grasp now. That means what will happen to me is tomorrow's business.

This entry's song I've repeated to death (which is a very good thing) this month. It's by an artist I really enjoy. I cannot wait for new material from her and this new single is a sign of really good things to come!

I leave you with a photo of a friend I made while out on a walk. What shall I name him?

Have a wunderbaaahhh rest of Octobaaaahhh! 🐑

#diary #sumire-no-nikki #Spotify

17 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 2 years

Note

Firstly, thanks for giving me advice about the adhedonia not long ago, knowing how it's called the thing I tend to suffer (apart of the TDA, LOL) most of time helped me a lot —an also thanks to the other people to gave me tips in that post too. I'm feeling better because, well, Christmas vacations are coming! So that means I'll be able to recover more mental health and finally write again, even if it's just a month.

Now I want to ask for more tips that are... How can I organize longfics? I'm a messy person, like... I don't even write the ideas my brain vomit to me at random times, and even when I tell my friends about it that messages end up being buried alive. I kinda used to organize things when I was like, 14yo. It was still messy as hell but least so, now I'm straight up refusing to even do lists. But I feel that if I not know to organize some things I won't able to finish a longfic never ever never again.

I know that there are like, templates? For organizing plot-points and characters and all of that, but I can't recall how they're called. But more importantly than that, I want to know how other people like to organize their things and see if something clicks with me! (Specially because I recall seeing posts like this here on Tumblr but I can't find them)

Oh man, this is such a great question.

I'm all about structure. My plotbunnies tend to come with a lot of plot attached, and I like genres with defined structures (cozy mystery, crime procedural).

I use spreadsheets for everything, including this, but now that I use Scrivener, often, I just use a text document there.

I start by laying out all the parts of the plot that I already have, then I try to make them an academic outline like:

This helps me see where I have a lopsided structure with tons of detail one place and none another. I also look at the timeline as the characters experience it and adjust. If I. takes 24 hours and II. three months, that tells me something about how much detail should be in each, what the final page count should be, etc.

Generally, longer stories that are satisfying have a structure with multiple peaks and dips in action, and the later peaks are higher than the earlier ones.

I find this kind of chart or fitting one's story into a five act structure or whatever to be helpful when you have a good plotbunny that just isn't quite working for some reason, but you know at least parts of it are sound. It helps point out a spot you might be overlooking from familiarity.

I don't find most of these external structures at all helpful for generating plotbunnies. If you have an instinct for structure from years of consuming media, you'll come up with something that works better than following a formula you can't really feel.

Most structures exist to try to explain why some blockbuster movie works retroactively anyway. Unless it's literally theater and there are literally intermissions between chunks, little is set in stone. Even plays often have the "wrong" thing in Act I.

I'll see breakdowns of some novel and they talk about the "inciting incident" or whatever beat in the plot formula, and I'm like "You picked that part as that beat? Really?" Like... I agree the plot formula is basically sound and I agree the book being analyzed is great, but I don't think the formula applies to the book in a super straightforward way that everyone would agree on.

The hero's journey is so fucking general that you can retrofit it to almost any story that has any sort of physical or spiritual journey. But I don't find it inspiring on its own because it is so general. It doesn't actually explain why a particular subgenre's plots work without one adding a lot more detail and specificity.

I tend to put down all my notes on what should be in a story, then rearrange them in story order as I figure that out. I might have a section at the end for things I haven't placed yet or revision notes. I'm a very logical person and work in order a lot. Hell, I write in order, which is generally a terrible idea and even trips me up when I get to a hard bit and waste time instead of moving on. But it's how my brain mostly operates.

Out of the various canned methods, the one I adopted the most from was the Snowflake Method. I like the idea of outlining and then making it more detailed and then EVEN MORE DETAILED till the "first draft" is basically paint by numbers. Some people find that extremely limiting though.

Another thing I try to keep track of is some very basic "What's the point?" or "What's the big change?" notes. I don't do extensive character sheets or big writeups external to the main prose of the story. I don't do exercises where I interview my characters. None of that feels useful to me. It's too much, and I get lost in the weeds. God... I feel like I should be saving this for my patreon.

Uh... anyway, I try to have a big note to write towards that's like "Character X thinks they want A but it's really a symptom of needing B" or "The point of this fic is the big twist in chapter 11" (so I either need to set up emotions that really lay the groundwork for the twist to be a big deal or I need to lay the red herrings to make the twist a shock or whatever).

56 notes · View notes

papermonkeyism · 1 year

Text

For the new year, I wish I'll get to hang out with people again.

This past year has been, frankly, pretty miserable, specially since early summer-ish when my DnD group went on a months long break. Wasn't the first one, nor the last one, but definetely the worst one. Don't really have other friends locally, aside from one old school mate.

Honestly it's been pretty bad ever since the start of the pandemic when we stopped hanging out outside of DnD sessions and my fave coffee places closed down along with couple of my fave restaurants, and I just... Stopped having a social life, but now it's so much worse. As said, I have one (1) friend outside of the group I sometimes go shopping with, and one of my DnD buddies hangs out with me maybe once a week to borrow my laundry machine for couple hours, and they are probably the only reasons I haven't broken completely so far.

But neither of them are storytelling people the same way I am, so I'm kinda holding back when we hang out, as I can't really go all in with my special interests on them.

Downsides of being socially awkward introvert.

The summer break from roleplaying was a trigger for anxiety and maybe the worst creative block of my life so far. As someone who basically thinks with a sketchbook it was pretty fucking stressful not being able to draw anything for several months!

I crave creation and storytelling, but my brain is made of goo. Like imagine if someone came and asked you to pick a water from a pool and hand it to them? But it's liquid! Can I get a cup or something, but they just scoff. You got hands, right, just pick one up and hand it over. So I'm just left trying to scoop handfuls of wet and grabbing nothing. Kinda how it feels.

Started marathoning Crit Role to distract myself from the worst of it and to have at least some kind of creative energy in my life, and consumed what must be over half a thousand hours of role playing. At least that was fun!

And when nights started stretching and seasonal depression started to creep into my already not-doing-good brain I started my routine of evening walks because at some point I was legitimately going stir crazy enough to explode otherwise.

It's also been my first full year of joblessness in a long while. I was already having hard time by the end of last year, because my brain has difficulty handling full time jobs for long stretches of time, and ten months in a row not being able to recharge was starting to weight on me, so I had made a plan to get my brain sorted out with the ADHD diagnosis and hopefully medication before applying for jobs again, but turns out the process took the entire year, and then some, and I still don't have the meds yet. I have been given the thumbs up on them, but turns out me stressing for the better part of a year has triggered blood pressure problems (runs in my family, so honestly probably just a matter of time, but it's still very inconvenient to happen right now), so I have to sort that out first before it's safe to try stimulant medication.

And then there was the death in the family and a close friend's cancer diagnosis (fingers crossed!) and I just haven't had a great time, you know.

January's going to go into medical stuff in the hope of getting the ADHD meds, so maybe I could one day grab those thoughts again. The unemployment office is also pestering me again, so we'll see how that'll go.

I think I'll see if I can make myself a regular at the new cat cafe in town. Cats make everything better. Also looking forwards to actualizing a tattoo plan or two! Springtime is coming too, eager to continue my evening walk routine with returning sunlight. And I really, really, really need to create something again.

So here's for what I sincerely hope to be a better year than this past one! Cheers.

#shut up paper

33 notes · View notes

stillheresanctuary · 3 months

Text

So. It's Been A While.

That last update was a bit prophetic, wasn't it.

Uhm, I guess I should give a sort of summary of the last... Two? Three years? For people that are still lingering.

I'll put the bulk of it under a read more, but TL;DR- Parks Department job has panned out really well, had to move out a second time due to Stuff, Dad had a second stroke and passed away from complications, my mom's dog passed away from a malignant tumor, and I'm currently doing a lot of juggling to help Mom and myself try to survive.

Could be better. Could be a lot worse.

For folks that want some more details, well-

I'll get the rough stuff out of the way first.

My dad died. It'll be two years this October. He had a second stroke, and went from slow but steady improvement to a rapid decline that ended with Mom and I mutually agreeing that his quality of life had degraded so badly it was basically torture forcing him to stay alive. He wasn't quite a vegetable at the end, but it was close. He couldn't talk. He couldn't articulate his needs. He couldn't take care of himself in any fashion.

I sat and waited in his hospice room, and saw when the final breath left his body. There is no possible means to describe the Certainty, and the Relief. Knowing he was gone, and that he was no longer suffering.

Neither Mom or I have really had the space to fully process it. His ashes have yet to be scattered, and we haven't be able to coordinate a wake for the extended family. I don't know if we'll ever have one at this rate, but we want to give him a send off for everyone to properly say their good byes.

Less than two months after Dad passed, Mom called me crying. Tali, our family dog for the last 16 years, hadn't been feeling very well for a while, and gave Mom a couple bad scares before she finally had to be rushed to an emergency vet. They found out that Tali had been developing a tumor, and while it wasn't metastasized or actively malignant, it had begun to interrupt body functions and after a sudden seizure, had caused internal bleeding so bad they weren't sure she would survive being sedated let alone surgical intervention.

We decided it would do her a disservice to force her through such an invasive procedure, with no guarantee of recovery, let alone good health.

Mom and I both held her as the doctors gave her a fatal dosage of anesthetic, and she passed away peacefully. Her ashes are also still with us, waiting for us to decide how to honor her life.

On to less miserable topics-

Moving house! Happened cause the roommates we moved in with ended up paranoid assholes who tried to get us evicted and/or arrested on falsified charges of theft! We had to call up the sheriff, police and the landlord, as well as a tenant-landlord lawyer, to get the roommates of our backs. We moved out as soon as we were able to keep their assholery from reoccurring and possibly resulting in legal actions.

My partner and I ended up staying with a mutual friend for a couple months while we hunted for a new place, and now we've been staying in a pretty nice duplex that we're currently hoping won't price us out come the next lease reup (there's consulting of tenant-landlord lawyers in the plan for negotiating with the landlord). Other than fretting over funds, we're pretty alright.

Job! Parks and Rec invited me back to a longer season, and I just recently got invited back again, and I may actually apply for a year round full time position. The people are great, I enjoy the work I do, the benefits are excellent, and I even have a supervisor who Gives A Shit for once.

Pretty sure the job kept me from a depression spiral when Dad and Tali passed away back to back.

Rapid fire what else- Got a new to me car, reconnected with a bunch of friends from old fandoms, made new friends in an entirely new fandom, started looking into possibly going back to school, helped my mom with buying a house and a car, got sick with Covid twice, got two cavities drilled and filled, played way too much Cult Of The Lamb...

I think that's it? At least, that's all I can remember anymore.

It's been A Lot.

What does this say for this project?

Well, I still want to put work into it. I want to reinvest myself and my interests into this world that I've created. Considering current Tumblr drama, I may end up seeing how much I can transition over to something less fragile, like Neocities. I haven't made a webpage in so long it's ridiculous, but it could be worth it to mirror all my Tumblr projects onto something that I can actually archive.

It's a bit up in the air, and I apologize in advance if I vanish again, since I'm going to be going back to work at the end of March and I'm not sure how much energy I'll have to juggle. Whatever happens-

Thank you all for participating in this experience with me. You all have made this silly little side project a true joy, and I'm thankful for everyone who has made it possible.

#stuff cell says #mun stuff

6 notes · View notes

squarebracket-trickster · 11 months

Note

Happy STS! Since you're on the second draft of ur WIP, how was the progress of the first draft? What are some things you learned during it? What is something you would do differently for your next first draft?

It's so rare to see a writeblr going through revisions and i find your commentary very inspiring. One day i too will be telling myself to leave the sentence be for another draft LOLLL

Oooh I love this question so goddamn much!!! (well, ig it's sort of two? three? questions.) I had so much fun answering this<3333 It was an excellent chance at reflection.

How was the progress of the first draft?

(lol I did not intend for my answer to be this long but it just kept going. But I like the idea of being very transparent about the journey because I hear a lot of nice, summed up "one day I sat down and wrote a novel, the next month I had a manuscript and started querying" stories and I think that can be really invalidating for people for whom the journey isn't that smooth if that is the only narrative you hear.)

I think I came up with the story idea some time in 2019. It was one of those, "princess runs away from an arranged marriage but [redacted due to spoilers]" concepts but at the time I was worldbuilding for other things so I put it aside for later.

About a year later, when I had not made much progress on my other WIPs (due to not having enough worldbuilding ideas to carry a fantasy or sci-fi story and banging my head against a wall trying to think up something I was happy with), I decided, ah what the hell, I'll try this instead.

I picked it because it was a simple concept--an idea fit for a standalone novel on the shorter end, with a fairly small setting and requiring little worldbuilding. It seemed like it would be good practice before I seriously tackled my more ambitious WIPs.

It still took a while to actually get writing. I tried three or four times to make an outline--one was more than 8000 words--and ended up scrapping each of them because when I got to actually writing the scenes I had outlined I found them dry and soulless. I was just going through events that needed to happen but there was no emotion, no humour, no themes, nothing. I tried to write the first chapter once or twice but I started the story too early in the timeline and lost the momentum to keep going. Finally, I wrote a scene somewhere in the middle (the one where Sorin figures out Adris is a girl) and it was the first I was actually happy with. I had fun writing it and then reading it again, and it finally felt like there was some "life" behind the plot I had been failing to outline. I rewrote that scene in both first and third person, decided I liked 1st better, and tried to keep adding to it. Then I had about 3600 words. I wrote another scene near the end (when Isadred and Firnen meet; though I changed this later) and it gave me some direction to work towards.

Then I did not touch the project again for several months.

One day in November of 2021 (NaNoWriMo month but I hadn't heard of it yet) I decided to just go for it and put a bunch of time aside to write like crazy. I started from chapter one and had two rules, 1. Start chapter one as late into the story as possible, and 2. keep it going--don't edit (not even spelling unless it is absolutely critical for me to make sense of later), if I get stuck just jump ahead to the next scene I can write, and if I don't know what happens next just ramble about everything that can't happen until I figure out a situation where that does not apply.

It worked. Really well. The next things I knew (about three weeks in) I had roughly 48 000 words. Some days I was hitting 13-14 000 words per day. Then I took a break because uni and came back to it in April 2022. Same rules, same deal. Suddenly I had 112 572 words.

I got stuck on the ending. I wrote a few scenes but didn't like them. So I figured I would just call it a finished manuscript, put it aside for a while, and come back to it when the time was right.

About two months ago I thought up part of a better ending while in the shower and a few weeks ago, just before I started the second draft I figured out the rest. So I knew it was time and I went back to it.

What are some things you learned during it?

I had a lot of fun. I laughed a lot at the banter and dramatic irony, I highlighted my favourite lines to look back on later, and I left funny comments for myself in the margins. The weird part was that I was not expecting it to be fun at all. I see so much writing content about how hard writing is and how much writers hate it, especially first drafts, and I have done my share of banging my head against a wall (especially in my other WIPs) but, for me at least, it is one thing to get stuck on a plot point, but if I am finding every single new sentence to be a struggle to get down it is probably because my story has not come to life yet. I am writing too much from a place of "hit each plot point in my outline" and not enough from a place of "you know what would be fun/gut-wrenching/shocking/funny/clever/insightful?".

Believe it or not, the middle section was the most fun to write.

I have also come to believe ardently in these commonly touted morsels of advice:

if your story is losing momentum after only a few chapters you either don't know where you are going with it or you have started too far before the inciting incident.

Name your first draft draft zero, garbage draft, word vomit (or in my case, "idk what the FUCK this it looks pretty cool tho"), and just expect utter garbage.

Don't look back, just keep going. You know that thing in improv where they do the "yes, and..." exercise? Do that.

If you are stuck on what happens next, skip that scene and go to the next. There is a chance you may not even need the scene you were stuck on. Long time skips in the same chapter are allowed.

If you don't know what to write just sit down and start rambling. As long as you know what you are trying to write towards, eventually you'll end up there and you can cut the bloat later.

Know your climatic moment before you start--not your ending, but the big final showdown the story is building to. You don't have to know how it resolves (I didn't figure that out until like six weeks ago) but know who is in your final battle and where it takes place.

Don't research. Don't worldbuild. If you need a piece of information you don't have, write [insert type of medieval ship here] and move on.

What is something you would do differently for your next first draft?

I am honestly not sure on this one... I do wish I was a more skilled writer prose-wise because my first drafts would need a lot less editing later on if descriptive, poetic prose came as naturally to me as dialogue and emotional one-liners. But all I can really do for that is keep practicing.

The only other thing I wished I had done from the start was keep a journal, log, or blog of my progress, and save some of the funny comments and [somehow our two romantic leads have to sword fight their way out of a masquerade ball in this scene while dressed to the nines] notes-in-brackets I left in the draft but went back and deleted later once I actually filled out the scene. Hence the existence of this blog now.

One of these days I would also like to develop a proper writing schedule to make more consistent progress throughout the year (instead of the random sprints of activity followed by months of not touching it that I do now). But between the ADHD and the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome I don't know when that will happen.

#wipvii #sts #ask game

7 notes · View notes

jadeile-writes · 5 months

Text

Fanfic Progress Update 159

Howdy hi, it's 2024 now and that's kinda weird, tbh. Stay tuned for a sneak-peek for A Sign that you're important at the bottom of this post!

Current WIPs:

A Sign that you're important

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary: One month upon his assigment as Doctor Robotnik's assitant, Agent Stone is told to learn sign language. He doesn't know why, and isn't suicidal enough to ask, so he simply rolls with it. Turns out, it's not just a whimsy of the eccentric doctor, even though that doesn't stop the doctor from utilizing it like one.

Progress: Chapter 3 was posted on 4th of January. The fourth chapter will be posted on 11th of January aka the next Thursday. Chapter 4 is finished and ready to be posted. Chapter 5 is 1/3rds written and... well, I might have to write a chapter 6 purely out of "I don't think everything I had in mind will fit in this chapter actually", but we'll see. Might just write a longer chapter instead, depends. Or I'll cook the planned ending of this chapter into an epilogue. So many options.

-----

Life at the laboratory (I'm starting to not like this title, might change it)

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog, movieverse

Summary:

"Wanted: a yesman who is capable of operating an espresso machine, has at least a higher IQ than your average amoeba, and is willing to put work before having a personal life, or indeed a life, period. The extra in your pathetic paycheck is good, but the strain in your psyche will make up for the positives. Forfeit your basic human rights and apply today if this sounds like you."

Maybe it said something about Agent Stone - and probably not good things - that the poster in the cafeteria's pin board piqued his interest more than any of his official assignments had for a good long while.

Dr. Robotnik, huh?

Progress: This one will be part one of a two-parter longfic, the first part probably... 10-ish chapters? It's a bit hard to estimate at this point, so the number is subject to change - will probably end up being increased tbh. My weekly writing hour (as in, a specific hour when I sit down and write, no excuses [other than not being home]) is devoted to this fic.

I have the first four chapters completely written. Chapter 5 has enough words to be done, but the scene isn't finished yet, so it's still a work in progress. It's close to done tho; I'll probably finish writing it after I'm done with this blog.

I also have two halfway written chapters that don't yet know their exact placement within the fic (they're scenes that will be slotted in to wherever they feel natural, once we get Stone settled in.)

-----

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to Someday™:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Rolling with it (Zelda: BotW)

Hah, our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest! (Hazbin Hotel)

-----

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into A Sign that you're important (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

As shocking as finding out about the doctor being deaf was – and it had been, Stone had completely forgotten about it being a possibility and had just embraced the normalcy of the lab crew using sign language Just Because, so finding out about the hearing aids had left him reeling for the rest of that night – the life at the lab returned back to normal eventually. Eventually, because as ashamed as Stone was to admit it even in the privacy of his own head, he had absolutely treated the doctor differently for a good week or two at first.

He had found himself speaking louder and clearer a couple of times, until he caught himself doing it and adjusted back to his normal volumes, mentally berating his own idiocy. If the doctor had noticed, he had gracefully let it slide – which meant the doctor probably hadn't noticed, because he wasn’t known for being graceful nor letting things slide. Not that he was known for not noticing things either. It was a mystery that Stone was happy to leave as such, if it meant he avoided getting yelled at for defaulting to ableist bullshit.

He had also found himself unconsciously making more noise when he was approaching the doctor out of the field of his vision. He actually hadn’t caught himself developing the habit until the doctor complimented him for it, of all things.

-----

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3 My FFnet My Ko-fi Radiohusk Discord Server

#fanfic progress update

4 notes · View notes

boliv-jenta · 1 year

Text

Nico x f!reader x OMC

Part of the Kitten series.

Warnings: swearing. Smut. P iv V sex. Male maturbation. Dirty thoughts. A little angst. Idiots in love.

WC:3.5k

Summary: Nico and Angelo find a new way of supporting you. Angelo introduces you to his boyfriend.

The Dinner Date

The sun had been up for hours. Your day would have usually started ages ago, yet you were still in bed. Head firmly beneath the covers, hoping whoever just knocked at your door would leave. A shadow passed your window before it started to slide open.

"What the…?!" The baseball bat you kept under your bed was aimed at the intruder as they poked their head in through the window.

"Lo siento. I didn't mean to scare you." Angelo smiled sweetly and fluttered his thick eyelashes before scrambling through your now open window like an uncoordinated cat.

"Angelo, why are you here?" You huffed climbing back into bed.

"I could ask you the same thing." He climbed on the bed spooning your cocooned form from behind.

"I'm done. I just…it's been a lot. I just need to be done with everything for a while."

"Oh, Cariño. Do you want some company?"

"Please."

Angelo's heart clenched at how small your voice sounded. He immediately kicked off his shoes and lifted the covers to cuddle you properly. When a little sob left you, he pulled you closer, as if he could hold back the tide of sorrow threatening to wash over you.

"I'm sorry." Shame rose on your cheeks. You were a grown woman, you should be able to deal with your own problems. Problems that you created for yourself. This was never part of your arrangement, yet you weren't strong enough to pull yourself from Angelo's arms.

The last three months had been one hit after another. Your husband had announced that he was leaving you for the overly flirty widow down the street. It turns out all those days he was on the road working, he was actually at her beach house. That would have been fine, it would have been a relief to be able to get out of your marriage. It was the way he went about it that was the problem. When he applied for divorce he blamed your cheating. He told your family you'd been spending your time with 'a couple of gays doing God knows what'. That got you cut off financially, despite the massive contribution your skills made to the family business. The house was only yours until the end of the month then your soon to be ex-husband was going to sell it for his half of the money.

Angelo had moved in with his boyfriend, Owen, so he was around less. Nico's walls slide back into place and some walls of your own went up. You didn't want him to see you broken, pathetic and lost. You'd only been over there a few times, during which you completely disassociated. Your body went through the motions while your mind was somewhere else.

"Hey. You don't have to be sorry. This is what friends are for." Angelo soothed.

Another layer of hurt. It was Robert's idea to move out here to the suburbs, in a city you had never lived in before. Your friends were on another coast. You had no one here. No one close anyway. Just Angelo and Nico. Two people that you didn't want to see you as your family saw you, weak.

Tears fell freely from your eyes now, the pillow below you was growing damper by the second.

Another knock on your door sounded.

"I'll see who it is." Angelo left before you could think of the consequences. It wasn't very likely that it was Robert at the door, plus he still had a key.

Angelo was on his way back as you made your way to the door. Nico was right behind him. Instinctively, you tried to wipe the tears from your face on your sleeve. For some reason, Nico seeing you in this state bothered you even more. As Angelo stepped closer he moved out of Nico's eyeline. Nico's face visibly fell when he saw you. An air of discomfort built. Being tender still wasn't his strong suit, and there you were in need of so much tenderness. Luckily, he had Angelo to step in.

"You can go take a long bath. Nico and I will cook lunch and take care of the house." He looked past you to the dishes piled in the sink.

"It's okay, I can do them." Embarrassment laced your tone.

"I didn't say you couldn't." Angelo ushered you off towards your ensuite.

After a bath, they sat you down at the table. Angelo had laid it, he'd even brought a few flowers in from the garden and set them in water in the middle of the table. Nico had cooked one of your favourites, his vegetable quesadillas with pico de gallo. After a bath and some food you felt more human.

Angelo kept the conversation going, dragging both you and Nico along. "I love your colour scheme. What do you think Nico?"

It was strange to think that neither one of them had set foot in your house before. You knew both these men, intimately, in ways you'd never know anyone before yet the didn't know what your home looked like.

"It's very..er..chic. Calming. I like the colour pallet" Nico replied. Some more pained, polite conversation followed until Angelo's phone rang.

"Hi, Bebé." Angelo positively glowed as he spoke to his boyfriend. It took all you had to to reach over, cradle his beautiful face and press kisses all over it.

The relationship you had with Angelo was kind of funny. If you took away the sex, he was like a best friend. The two of you spent time gossiping and joking. When you let him in, he was an amazing listener. He knew just the right thing to say. He'd often ask "Do you want answers or just someone to listen?" That single thoughtful phrase set him apart from the rest of the men in your life. Sometimes you just needed to rant about something to get it out of your system. You didn't need someone pointing out that you were over reacting. Or suggesting ways to deal with the problem that under your immediate flash of emotion you knew. It was just something you had to go through to make peace with the situation. He understood that.

It was one of the many reasons you adored him. The fact that he had a tongue like a whirlwind was also a bonus. His longer than average cock, that sparked electricity as it struck your cervix, was also a bonus. It was funny how you adored him, loved him even and he was near perfect, yet you weren't in love with him. Watching him happily finish his call, you wondered what it said about you that you hadn't fallen for him.

"Owen is here to pick me up. Are you ready to meet him?" It took you a moment to realise he was talking to you.

"Meet him? Now?" You self consciously touched your hair, that had been swept up into a bun hurriedly.

"Yes. You look beautiful as always." Gently, he pushed your arm back down. His hand ran down your arm to take your hand as the doorbell rang.

"We can't stop so you just can just say 'hi' for now. Hey, Babe." Angelo flung the door open to greet Owen.

"Hello, my love." Owen leaned down to kiss Angelo on the cheek. Turning to you he said your name before adding "I'm so glad to finally meet you. I heard so many things. All of them good."

"Really? Oh." A blush bloomed on your cheeks. "It's so nice to meet you too. I've heard lovely things about you too."

"I'm sure it was all very flattering. My Angelo has such a lovely outlook on life." Owen smiled, tucking Angelo into his side.

"Hi, Nico." Owen held up a well manicured hand adored with a couple of elegant rings, in a wave.

"Hi, Owen." Nico's arm settled around your waist as he joined you at the door. There was an odd energy in his actions. At first the move seemed like a protective gesture. As his fingers squeezed your hip, it seemed more like he was the one seeking protection in the comfort of your touch.

Nico's arm lingered until Angelo and Owen said their goodbyes. Owen left with a promise of you all having dinner soon.

"That's Owen?!" You gasped at the door shut.

Nico simply quirked an eyebrow at you in response.

"I mean, I know it's Owen. I just wasn't expecting….he's a little…not that there's anything wrong with… I just wasn't expecting...sorry. I sound super judgy." You rushed out breathlessly.

"You sound super confused, Sweetheart. What were you expecting?" They way his brow furrowed and his lips made a perfect little O made you want to kiss him. It'd been over two weeks since you had touched him. The thought broke free before you could cage it.

You crave him.

Turning from him to break the spell of your gaze, you muttered. "Someone more our age."

"Our age? We're all different ages." The amusement was apparent in his voice.

"You're trying to make me say it aren't you?" A grin of your own was audible.

"Maybe."

"Okay. I was expecting someone younger. He's like, what, twenty years older?"

"Twenty five."

"That's like a whole person older."

"Even if he was only a day older that could could count as a whole person older. Just a baby person older."

"What?"

The two of you burst out laughing. It was nice to be so happy in his company again. As the laughter subsided, you sunk into the sofa next to where he had taken a seat.

"How are you?" He eventually asked.

"I…I don't want to talk about it."

"What do you want to do?"

The answer was on your tongue as it slid against his. The two of you touched each other with a sense of urgency that had been missing for a long while. Unlike the usual urgency, born out of needing to satisfy an urge, this was something else. This was to fill a different need. You both needed each other. You needed to feel anything other than pressing sadness. He would never admit it but he needed you. He needed to be the man you brought out in him. The one that let himself feel. The one that wasn't terrified and only living half a life. He'd been that version of him, that night in the hotel. He'd held you in his arms. He'd entertained the thought of never letting you leave them.

Now, buried between your legs, he was convinced that's where he belonged. While he put all his energy into pleasing you, he didn't have enough to keep his walls up. The thoughts crept up on him. Thoughts of how he loved you. How he might even be in love with you, if he still thought himself capable. Maybe he could try, maybe he could learn by doing. He could fake it until he made it. Until he could love without any reservations again. The risk of losing you was too great for him to try. He could have you like this, and that was that.

"Oh, Nico!" Your nails scrapped against the silken cushions behind you as you clawed for purchase, trying to anchor yourself as your orgasm threatened to send you somewhere else completely. There was no where in the world you'd rather be than with Nico.

The phone on the end table rang. No one ever calls the landline.

"Shit. Sorry." You paused Nico in his motions as he chased his own end. "That might be important."

He lifted off of you as you reached back for the handset.

"Hello? Yes, speaking. Oh. That's a shame. Thank you anyway. Yes. Of course. Goodbye." Nico felt his erection wither as your face dropped. Before you, it would take a freight train hitting him to calm him down. Now he connected sex with more than just the physical again. His physical needs bowed to your emotion needs.

"Sorry. That was the apartment I was hoping to rent. They chose someone else. Who knew 'unemployed divorcee' wasn't a big selling point." You offered him a smile.

"What about the other apartments?"

"That was the last one."

"What will you do now?"

"I'll have to move back home. A friend of mine said I can stay with her until I find a job. Which might be longer than she realised because I'll have to drop out of college…."

"You can stay with me. I have room."

That was a stupid suggestion. Angelo was the only thing keeping you two on an even keel. With him around less, things were already weird. He was already shutting down. You weren't going to stay around just to fuck him. You were caring, funny, smart, beautiful. Now that you were single, someone who could give you what he couldn't would snap you up. His thoughts spiralled again. Thankfully, after years of having to remain detached with his patients, he could keep his thoughts from showing on his face.

"Are you sure? I mean it would help. I could finish college, get a job, I'd have enough from my half of the house for a deposit. It would help a lot."

If your smile got any bigger, Nico's heart would burst. He loved being the one to bring that smile to your face. Your brightest smiles were usually drawn out by Angelo, will all his sweetness.

"Sure. We'll get you moved over at the weekend." He sounded so nonchalant, he almost convinced himself it was no big deal.

The weight of how big a deal it was settled on his shoulders along with your arms as you squeezed him tight. "Thank you, Nico. Thank you so much." In your excitemen, you peppered kisses all over his face until you got to his lips. Without thinking, you captured them in a soft kiss. Neither of you made a move to deepen it. The two of you settled into each other's arms. The voice in your head told you to stop being stupid. Even if it warmed your heart, it was stupid to indulge your feelings. It would only lead to heartbreak for both of you. It wasn't fair for you to act on feelings that you weren't even sure about. Before the divorce, you felt like you were in flux. Living between who you were and who you wanted to be. You had no idea who you were now. Could you be someone Nico could fall for? Were you compatible beyond the odd dynamic you'd formed? He was teaching you how to take what you wanted in the bedroom. About the power you held. Skills that you were taking out of the bedroom. Could his support and care be extended beyond it, too?

There was an awkward silence when your lips parted. A silence that Nico broke just as awkwardly. "I better go."

"Oh, okay." Suddenly, you were painfully aware of the panties dangling from your ankle and the damp between your legs.

Nico was busy fastening doing up his fly. "I better get moving on getting your room ready, right? I have a whole chest of sex toys to find a home for. I'll see you later."

Nico felt how much of a brush off that sounded like. He was brushing you off but for his own broken reasons. It had nothing to do with you. To try and get that across he pressed a kiss to the top of your head that just seemed to make everything more awkward.

As always you provided a saving grace for him. "Maybe don't find new homes for all the sex toys? I really like the purple one."

As the kindness you threw him warmed his heart, the sun warmed his face when he stepped out of your house.

Angelo called around an hour later with an invitation for dinner. With Owen. A man that you knew little about. That apparently knew about you. Possibly that you cheated on your husband. Definitely that you were still having sex with his boyfriend. You did not want any part of that, but then Angelo peppered in some Spanish terms of endearment and pleas. The next thing you knew, you were picking out a dress.

After Nico settled on just dragging the chest into his room, his phone rang. After a brief, one sided discussion with Angelo he ended the call resisting the urge to throw his cellphone. Apparantly, you were all having dinner tonight.

Luckily, the chest was in here now. He needed to finish what he had started earlier, and there was no way he could face Owen frustrated. Stripping down, he rooted through the wooden box. He settled on a long, thin, curved toy. Laying spread out on the bed, he thought of you as he inserted the tip. The way you'd taken to pegging him with ease. The new found confidence you had in your ability to please him. His cock jumped in his hand as he hit that spot inside of him. Twisting the base the toy came to life, vibrating against his prostate. Between that and him steadily pumping his cock he was close in no time. He thought about what you might wear tonight. He also thought about fucking ruining it. Ripping it down so he could get his mouth on your fabulous tits. Ragging it up over your hips to devour your sweet cunt or bury his throbbing cock in it. Or just jerking his load all over your outfit, marking you for everyone to see. Claiming you as his. That thought had his balls tightening. He worked his hand as he thought of you beneath him, getting covered in his release rather than him splattering his own chest with it. The clarity that came with his orgasm was unwelcome. How was he going to live with you? He'd fucked this whole thing up even while not doing the things he thought would fuck it all up. Fuck.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet but not uncomfortable. Nico had offered to take you as he wouldn't be drinking tonight. That struck you as odd. Nico enjoyed a drink with his meals. You wonder if he had plans for tomorrow that he needs to keep a clear head for. You thought about asking but it seemed like prying. Wow, soon you'd know more about him without asking. You'd just be there to witness his day to day life. The thought thrilled you a little.

The restaurant had a classic feel with a modern twist. The decor was plush with clean, crisp lines. The smells from the kitchen were to die for. They twisted your stomach in a different way from the fear currently rooted there. Seeing Angelo so happy eased the fear a little. He was always so happy and relaxed in your company. This was different. This was love. It poured from him. It was reflected in his eyes when he looked at Owen. Owen clearly saw what you saw in Angelo yet he fell in love. You were happy for the two of them.

Greetings exchanged, you sat down for dinner. Owen was strikingly handsome. His soft grey beard complimented his sharp features. His hair was also grey. It was thick and brushed back from his face. He was tall and broad shouldered. He carried himself with such poise. His English accent was melodious to you. He was effortlessly charming. Smart. Articulate. Kind with his words. You could see how Angelo had fallen head over heels. For a moment, you thought about the arrangement between you, Nico, and Angelo. Nico and Owen both shared admiring glances. There was a palpable tension between them. It didn't seem hostile. It didn't feel like jealousy or envy. If anything, it felt like the moment before Nico switched in bed. When he snapped from obedient sub to a dom. The calm before the storm when the air crackled with the potential of raw, unbridled energy. If the tension was sexual, and Owen was open to arrangements like yours, you wondered why they hadn't come to one of their own.

As the night progressed, Nico's hands found their way to your body more and more. Not in a sexual way more like the comforting away he had reached for you earlier, when you first met Owen.

"....so that's why you should always observe trainee doctors from afar!" Owen had the whole table laughing with his story. Even Nico, who hadn't been steadily growing more tense as the night wore on, relaxed and laughed along.

"Is that how you met Angelo? You're a doctor too?" You asked, taking a sip of your wine.

Nico's shoulders tensed in your peripheral.

Owen took a sip of his own wine. Swallowing, he answered. "Sort of, we met at a talk. Again, sort of, I'm a psychiatrist."

Suddenly, you shared Nico's tension. "Oh."

Tags @kirsteng42 @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid2 @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @graciexmarvel @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass @mandoloriancookie

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #nico house comes with a bird #nico x f!reader x omc #nico x f!reader

17 notes · View notes