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#sorry if I have not been responding ot anything
onigirintarou · 2 years
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First Friend w/ Miya Atsumu
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His Ma was right. Making friends as an adult was definitely trickier than making friends as kids, and even then, that was something he could never get quite right without Samu by his side. But he had promised, and Atsumu was anything but a promise breaker.
fluff + some angst but mostly just Miya twins brainrot 
Word Count: 3.1k (idk how this got this long. this was supposed to be atsumu x reader and it still sort of is at the end, but my feels for the twins could not be contained so it’s more of a love letter to their relationship)
A/N: Part of @suckerforsugawara‘s A First Time For Everything collab. Thank you for letting me join! And I hope you have a wonderful birthday month 🥳
Miya Atsumu was eight when he began to recognize the differences between himself and his twin.  Adults always preferred Samu to him, that was always a given. His aunties and uncles always said they could distinguish between the two – they just needed to look for the boy who was running around like he had ants in his pants and they immediately knew that it was Atsumu. He remembered his uncle ruffling his hair and calling him his ‘precious little troublemaker.’ Other relatives and family friends weren’t as kind and also called him a troublemaker, but he knew what they meant when they accompanied their words with a frown.
On the other hand, most people never had anything bad to say about Samu. He figured it must have something to do with how they could leave his brother alone and not come back to find the room looking like a tornado had gone through it (in his defense, he really hadn’t meant to make all that mess; he just wanted to see how long he could keep the ball up for).
He could acknowledge that he was definitely not the most well-behaved child. He didn’t like to admit it, but he could see why the adults preferred Samu to him. Samu didn’t start bawling at the drop of a hat. Samu didn’t start screaming when things didn’t go his way. Samu knew when to be quiet.
That was okay with him though. He didn’t need the adults to like him. He had Samu and their Ma. They were all he needed.
He loved his Ma and he’s sure that his Ma loved him. She did her very best but he still remembered the one time that she had snapped at him. With tears in her eyes, she had asked him why he couldn’t be more like Samu. For a boy who was only eight years old at the time, he could still recall how at that very moment, his Ma had reminded him of the Koi swimming around at the temple pond with her mouth opening and closing as if that would help push the words back into her mouth.
“But I’m Samu, Ma. And he’s Tsumu,” his twin had responded for him.
Their Ma had scooped the both of them up and wrapped them in her arms. Atsumu hadn’t even realized he was crying until his brother and Ma were wiping the tears off of his face.
“Don’t be such a crybaby,” Samu had said which he thought was rich coming from his brother who just seconds ago had been sniffling and still had the evidence of tear tracks on his face.
“I’m not!” he had protested as he weakly stuck his tongue out at his twin.
Their Ma had let out a wet laugh before giving the two of them a kiss on their foreheads. “I’m so sorry, loves. I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I know that you’re Tsumu and that you’re Samu. I don’t ever want you to be anyone but yourselves.”
“Okay Ma!” both twins had shouted in unison before both of them laid a kiss on each of their Ma’s cheeks with the hopes that this would make their Ma smile and stop crying.
Since then, Atsumu had taken his Ma’s words to heart. He was going to live life unapologetically as Miya Atsumu. If people weren’t fans of him then that was their loss. He didn’t need them. All he needed were the two people that his then tiny arms had wrapped themselves around. 
═════════
At the age of 10, he and Samu had just discovered their love for volleyball. That summer, the twins breathed, slept, and ate nothing but volleyball. So what if his classmates and the other kids at school looked at him like he had a screw loose in his head? He and Samu were gonna be the best brothers on the professional volleyball scene and no snot-nosed brat’s mean-spirited gossip and judgement were going to get in the way of that. If they were gonna be scrubs, then he was gonna treat them like the scrubs that they were.
So why did it bother him when Samu had sat him down and told him that he was going to be nice? Atsumu had nearly choked on his rice at the thought. 
Living with his twin, Atsumu had firsthand experience and knew that Samu was as much of a jerk as he was. In fact, he’d even say Samu was a bigger jerk. Atsumu knew how to start a fight and would often find himself inadvertently initiating squabbles with his peers due to a careless word or two. However, it was Samu who often ended fights, whether that be with his fists or even just a pointed look that was accompanied with a single raised eyebrow. 
And being nice? What was that even supposed to mean? Did Samu even know how to be nice? If being nice meant lying, even lying by omission, then he’d say his twin knew how to be nice. And on reflecting on himself, Atsumu thought that he was nice enough. He knew his spikers’ preferences and was nice enough to set it to them exactly how they wanted it.
Alright, some would say that wasn’t the exact truth, but Tsumu knew that his sets would improve their individual skills as well. Wasn’t that nice enough? He was looking out for them in the long run, after all.
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At the age of 11, he and Samu had been put in different classes. When the teacher asked them to partner up, Atsumu was usually left-behind. Everyone’s last choice and oftentimes, not even a choice that anyone had taken.
This time was no different as their history teacher had asked them to partner up to do a presentation. Desks had been pushed together and conversation started flowing. However, Atsumu had found himself once again sitting alone.
“Miya?” the teacher had called and Atsumu had hesitated. Despite being in this class for a couple of months without his brother, being called by his last name was something that was still unfamiliar to him.
“Yes, ma’am?” he steeled himself for her upcoming question.
“Do you have a partner?”
Atsumu liked his teacher, really he did, but surely by now she should have realized that he did most of the assigned work by himself. Academically, Atsumu wasn’t stupid. In fact, he even preferred getting the work done by himself so he could do it on his own schedule.
“No ma’am,” he responded. The look of pity she sent his way nearly made the tips of his ears flush in embarrassment.
“Do you even have any friends?” one of his classmates had sneered just loud enough that Atsumu knew the words were meant for him to overhear.
Atsumu simply raised a single eyebrow, a trick he had learned from his twin. “’Course I do,” he answered simply.
“Oh yeah?” the boy shot back. “Osamu doesn’t count. He’s your brother.”
That afternoon, Atsumu had spent practice sending sets to his spikers that they could easily get to. After the fifth consecutive easy set, he could tell the others had sensed there was something off about him, but no one had bothered to ask. They were probably just relieved he wasn’t forcing them to jump higher to reach the ball. He really was wasting his time playing with this bunch of scrubs. 
On the way home Samu had nudged his shoulder and all his hope of sleeping off his classmate’s words faded away. “Oi, what’s been up with you today?”
Tsumu recalled shrugging in response but his brother had sped up to stand in his way.
“Can we be friends even if we’re brothers?” the question finally came out in a whisper.
Samu had given him a look as if he had lost his mind. “What kinda question is that?”
He had been about to shrug again but Samu had placed his hands on both of his shoulders. “Quit doin’ that,” his twin had reprimanded. “We’re not friends.”
At this, he had turned his head away from Samu, afraid that he was going to start crying if he looked at him.
“Yer such a crybaby,” Samu had said before tightening the grip he had on his shoulders.
Atsumu tried to hide the sniffle. “You just said we weren’t friends!”
“Oh my God,” his brother sighed in exasperation. “We’re brothers. Twins! That’s better than friends, ain’t it?”
Slowly, Atsumu turned to look at his brother who had a look of murderous intent on his face.
“Now tell me who the idiot is that planted that idea in your head?” Samu had demanded.
He had shaken his head. “I don’t know his name.”
Samu had nearly slapped his own forehead in irritation. “It’s two months into the school year, Tsum, and ya don’t know your classmates’ names?”
He had squawked indignantly at that. “I’ve got more important things to remember than that ya know!”
His brother simply rolled his eyes and let go of his shoulders. “Sure ya do.”
The next day, Atsumu had been woken up by Samu who had hit his face with a pillow and told him that he was going on ahead for some class duties. Atsumu had simply rolled over and covered his face with his blanket, a decision that he had started to regret, as he had to practically sprint to get to his morning class on time.
Thankfully, he had made it with a couple of minutes to spare and was about to set his head down on his desk when a shriek of surprise from the front of the room shocks him out of his reverie.
In walked the boy from yesterday with a split lip and what looked to be the beginning of a black eye starting to form.
At dinner that night, Atsumu pushed his pudding cup towards his twin. He had noticed the bandages around Samu’s knuckles at practice which confirmed his earlier suspicions. It really made his decision to skip his daily dose of sugar easier to stomach.
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Atsumu would say that his high school years were miles better than his earlier years. Samu and him were on on a team that consistently made it to Nationals. Things were different than they were back in middle school. His teammates were actually his friends. For the first time in his life, he could definitively say that he had friends.
He had managed to rope Ginjima into a couple of schemes with Samu and although Suna instigated a fair share of fights, he knew that the tired-looking boy also cherished their friendship if the amount of Facebook poke wars that Suna initiated counted for anything. Then there was Aran, Omimi, and Kita who had also burrowed their way into his life, acting like concerned and often overworked older brothers. Inarizaki was a tight-knit family.
So when the time had come for him to leave Inarizaki and Hyogo behind and start a new life in Osaka, he could freely admit that he was scared. This would be the first time in his life without Osamu, and despite promises to check in every other day, he knew that his brother would need to start prioritizing his own goals and he couldn’t do that if he was worried about how Atsumu was going to fare in the big city by himself.
To put his brother at ease, he had told Samu that he was going to make friends – specifically, he promised to make friends outside of volleyball. Samu had laughed at this which had earned him a quick shove.
“Hey! Don’t look at me like that. I’ve been told I can be quite charming when I want to be!” he had defended himself.
In response, his stupid brother had only continued to cackle. “Good luck makin’ friends when I’ve only heard Gran call ya charming.”
“I’ll show ya!” He had pledged. “I’ll make tons of friends and introduce ya to them.”
Samu had simply grinned in response. “I can’t wait.”
It was now a month into living in Osaku, and Atsumu would say that he was getting used to living life with his teammates. Some of them were also living in the same team-provided shared apartment which had made it easier for Atsumu to befriend his teammates.
Some would say that familiarity breeds contempt, but for Atsumu, living together with his teammates kept the waves of loneliness at bay. He found himself accompanying Barnes and Inumaki on their trips into the city which also helped him familiarize himself with his new home. He worked out with his captain Meian. He also often had lunch out with Bokuto, outings which he would never disclose to his nutritionist due to the amount of spicy ramen challenges the two of them had participated in.
Osaka was slowly starting to become a second home. The konbini across the street no longer sent a pang straight to his chest with memories of pestering Samu or Suna to buy him a popsicle during the sweltering summer months in Hoygo. He also found himself sleeping past the alarm that Samu had set for years which led to him actually waking up refreshed because he had woken up to his own alarm and as a result, had gotten a couple of extra minutes of sleep. Sure, he missed his Ma and Samu’s cooking but Bokuto had shown him to enough restaurants that his dining options were only limited by how many lies he wanted to spin to his nutritionist.
However, despite this feeling of slowly becoming settled, he hadn’t found the time to fulfill his promise to his brother. All of his friends in Osaka were either on the team or worked for the team. He still hadn’t managed to make friends outside the team.
His Ma was right. Making friends as an adult was definitely trickier than making friends as kids, and even then, that was something he could never get quite right without Samu by his side. But he had promised, and Atsumu was anything but a promise breaker.
This is how he found himself seated across a table from you.  The ramen place he had frequented was surprisingly busy for 2:25 on a Tuesday afternoon. So when you had shown up, the waiter had directed you over to his table as it was the only one with an empty chair.
“I’m sorry about this,” you apologize. “I can always come back another time if you’re not okay to share a table,” you had offered.
When you look at him expectantly, he had to force himself to respond as he felt his brain short circuit at the shy smile you had offered him. “No worries,” he finally replies despite the fact there were indeed many worries. Nonetheless, he gestures for you to take the seat across from him.
With that settled, the waiter gladly takes both of your orders and leaves to cater to the other tables around you.
Atsumu doesn’t really do too well with silences and he finds himself bouncing his knee to help shake off his growing anxiety. “I don’t usually eat with strangers, but I figure if we introduce ourselves to each other then we wouldn’t really be strangers, now would we?” he babbles. “I’m Miya Atsumu, but you can just call me Atsumu.”
You grin and introduce yourself in return. “So we’re not strangers now. I’m glad because my parents always told me never to talk to strangers,” you respond and he can feel the weight on his chest lighten as he chuckles.
Before the two of you can continue to converse, the waiter returns with your food.
“Itadakimasu,” the both of you say in unison before digging in.
He must have done something wrong because you’re looking over at him with a furrowed brow and concern evident on your face.
“Hey, what’s going on?” you ask. “You haven’t taken a single bite.”
He looks down at the unused chopsticks in his hand. “Oh, it’s nothin’ really,” he replies. “It’s just that I’ve never seen someone look so excited to eat. I think I finally get what my brother was sayin’ now.”
You can feel your face start to heat up. Was that supposed to be a compliment or an insult?
He smacks his forehead at your reaction. “There I go again, ruinin’ things. I really just meant that you look cute when you’re eating. Like you’re really enjoyin’ it,” he trails off. “...And now you probably think I’m a creep, don’t ya?”
This time, your cheeks are flushing for a whole different reason. “Nah, it’s alright, Atsumu. You’re right, I am pretty excited to be eating. I’ve been wanting to try this place for so long that when I heard they were having a big special, I just had to come by. Plus, I skipped breakfast specifically for this,” you explained.  
He exaggerates wiping the sweat off his forehead and shoots you a grin before diving into his own bowl.
You can’t help but giggle at his antics. “Now you’re the one who looks absolutely famished.”
He chuckles along with you. “I’ve got a brother at home so if I didn’t eat fast then I wasn’t eatin’ at all.”
You beam at him. “Sounds like what my siblings would say about me.”
He snorts and with the ice sufficiently broken, the both of you share your meal with pleasant conversation interspersed in between.
To his shock, the conversation flows easily between the two of you. Sure, he puts his foot in his mouth sometimes, but you don’t seem to mind even a little bit as you laugh good-naturedly as he flounders to come up with an excuse. It wasn’t his fault. You made him nervous and this was the longest he’d held a conversation with someone without any ulterior motives to rile them up and throw them off their game. If anything, you were the one throwing him off of his game.
To his complete disappointment, the time with you was already coming to an end as the waiter was already coming over to hand you both your bills.
“Hey, I can take care of it,” you offer.
He shakes his head. “Ma would have my ass if she found out I let ya pay for my meal. Actually, let me get yours. A thank you for puttin’ up with me.”
Your hand reaches over to his elbow and he stills. “There was nothing to put up with, Atsumu. I really enjoyed being able to meet and spend time with you today.”
The sincerity in your voice shocks him.
He chuckles wryly. “Please, ya don’t just gotta be sayin’ that to be polite. People have told me I can be a lot.”
You frown and he thinks that he’s done it now, but the words that leave your lips shock him in the best possible way “Sure, you may be a lot more than people bargained for but that’s their problem. For me, I’d say this was the most fun I’ve had in a while.”
“Really?” he breathes. “Even if I talk too much, say things I don’t mean in the heat of the moment, and can’t cook to save my life?” He doesn’t know why he’s saying this, but he only knows he needs to lay it all out there.
You nod. “Yeah, well, I’d obviously put you in your place,” you tease. “But it’s not like I’m perfect either.”
This is it, he thinks. He’ll take the plunge. “Would you want to be friends with me?”
Your grin has him going stupid. “I’d love that.”
His fingers are already itching to dial his brother’s number to tell him the news.
“You can call me Tsumu then. That’s what my friends call me.”
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Taglist: @snowcoveredkiss​
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skyebounded · 2 years
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Nothing Has To Change Part 3
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Nothing Has To Change Part 3
Respectfully. You may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. 💙
Masterlist
Summary: You can’t keep acting like there isn’t something there, especially not when Carter is moving his way into the picture.
Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader 
Warnings: Swearing, angst. (lill fluff) Semi-smut (Again (if you can call it that)) I think that’s it.. 
Word Count: 5.0K
A/N: Hello Lovelies 💙 I’m so so sorry this took as long as it did, she was a bit harder to write, but I’m happy with the way she turned out. I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think. 😏
The unconventional rule that pogues and kooks aren’t supposed to acknowledge each other’s existence, or let alone get cozy with one another, was quickly being thrown out the window, with you. You have never been one to care too much for the labels of 'kook’ and ‘pogue’ other than in the conventional sense, but unlike your friends, you were able to see that not all ‘kooks’ were terrible, however, you also didn't feel the need to be buddies with them. 
Carter was different, and in spending the majority of your time with him lately, it was becoming more and more clear that was the truth. Over the past week, you had spent all of your time devoted to getting to know him better, in more ways than one. Your mother would claim that it had been forever since she had seen you, but the truth was it had only been a few days. 
You hadn’t seen your friends in about a week, but that came down to not wanting to fully engage with JJ more so than anything. There was also the other reason, how you were enjoying the time that you were spending with Carter, which also was preventing you from seeing them as well. 
You felt bad about it, considering you guys were always hanging out, but you couldn’t help the fun that you were having with Carter. Sure, you could keep lying to yourself about how you were becoming more and more nervous about your newfound relationship with JJ, and how that was affecting you and your desire to see your friends, but the truth was, even while hanging out with Carter, you still can’t seem to get JJ and his cheeky grin out of your head, no matter what. Even if he was in the back of it or not, he was always present, and always invading your thoughts. 
Your friends had started to become ‘worried’ about you, and your sudden disappearance from their day-to-day lives, which was flattering. Pope had called you almost every day since last week, just to check on you, making sure that you were still alive, which was sweet. You had just been telling him, however, that you had been busy, and you had promised that you would be back around as soon as you could, which he graciously accepted as a response. 
John b had done pretty much the same thing, calling and texting to check in on you, but also to get your advice on whatever he needed it for. It was mostly on what to do or say to a said, ‘girl’ that he liked, and you could imagine it was no one other than Sarah Cameron, but you had obliged and helped him the best you could. 
Kie was a little more scarce in her contact. She would check in occasionally, asking where you were, and the response you gave her was one similar to the ones that you gave to the others. You didn’t want to tell her what you had been doing or where you had been, simply because she had expressed her sentiment about Carter the first night she met him, and she claimed she wasn’t a fan. You figure that if she knew, she wouldn’t be too happy about it, and yes, you loved Kie, but you knew that she could be quite verbal about her distaste in something, and you didn’t want to hear it. 
She had also been complaining about the boys and all of the dumb shit that they had been getting up to in the past few days, but nothing much more than that. 
As far as JJ went, you had been doing your best to not respond to him, or at least not too much, but you had been unsuccessful in that attempt. It had been a couple of days of pure teasing each other, taking things to a new level, and though you find it thrilling, you also find it to be a problem, therefore the reason you have been trying to avoid any type of contact with him. You had reached the point where you wouldn’t trust yourself to be alone with him, and not do something. 
You stare at the messages plaguing your screen, the conflict of what you should do or say overwhelming your mind. 
    Friday 8:30p.m.
  JJ (BlondeBimbo) 
    You’re such a fucking tease. 
       You 
    Oh, how so? 😏
      JJ (BlondeBimbo)
     you wouldn’t tell me the rest of the technique, so I’ve had to let my imagination run wild, and the things I’ve pictured.. boy, are doing things to me.
      You
    Oh, do tell.. 👀
      JJ (BlondeBimbo)
    Well, maybe if you’re a good girl and beg I tell you, or better yet, show you…
It had been two days since he had sent the last message, and you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to respond. You were afraid to engage, the lingering thought of what if? on constant repeat in your head. 
    “You okay?” 
You jump a little, locking your phone and placing it down next to you, before looking up to meet Carter’s gaze. 
    “Yeah, I’m good,” you smile. 
Carter’s look of skepticism, quickly leaving his features at your smile. He moves over to you, sitting down on the bed next to you.     
    “What were you looking at?” 
You swallow hard, considering what to say.
    “Oh, um Kie was just asking me where I’ve been,” you shrug, pulling yourself to lay flat against the mattress, your hands fiddling with each other. Carter leans over you, his large frame engulfing your small one, bringing his arms to cage himself above you. 
       “Don’t you guys always hang out?” 
“Yes,” You feebly nod your head, admiring the sight of him resting above you. 
      “So they can’t miss you for a few days?” He chuckles. 
      “Well since I’ve been busy with you, I haven’t really talked to them, and I think they are starting to get jealous,” you smile. “And who knows, they might come hunt me down sooner or later.”
Carter gives you an exaggerated nod, slowly lowering himself to you. 
    “Oh, well, in that case, I better make good use of the time that I have with you,” he adds, a smirk on his face. 
You place your palm flat against his chest, your other hand tangling in the deep brown hair on the nape of his neck. He brings his lips to caress yours, and you use your grip to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. 
You had spent the majority of the week doing just this, slowly inching your way into something more, but not fully being able to commit, and now, nothing seemed to be stopping you. 
You part your lips, allowing his tongue to delve deeper into your mouth, letting it dance with your own. His hand moves down the length of you, before it dips just below the hem of your dress, inching its way back up your body. 
The slightest graze of his skin against yours, sends you into a fit, your skin burning at his touch. As his hand roams your body, a tingling sensation starts to spread throughout you. 
You tug on his blonde locks, drawing him closer to you, your kiss meeting his with fervor. You let out a breathy moan as you feel his hand grasp your hip, the assortment of rings on his fingers, cutting into your skin, in all the best ways. You want to urge him to go fast, to explore more of you, but you don’t, instead, you just enjoy the moment. You enjoy all his subtle touches and the subtle kisses he was leaving against your skin. He breaks from your lips to trail kisses along your jaw, and down your neck. You let out a soft moan as he nips at the soft skin of your neck. Without even looking at him, you could feel his piercing ocean eyes watching you, and his, all too familiar, grin on his face at the sounds you let out. As he comes back to hover over you, your eyes flutter open, and the surprise hits you.
  “Carter!” you say, your breath hitching with surprise at the sight of him. It hadn’t been him that you were picturing just now. It hadn’t been his hands you had been feeling trace your body, or who’s lips had been caressing your skin, it was JJ’s. Just like always, he was stuck in your head.
 You scramble up slightly, trying your hardest not to alarm him, but you fear that you have. He moves off of you, clearing his throat, a glint of worry in his eyes. He hadn’t done anything wrong, quite the opposite actually, but your mind was toying with you, betraying you. Things with JJ had fucked with your head, and it was starting to cause you problems. 
    “I'm sorry, I shouldn't hav-'' he starts, but you cut him off, holding your finger to his lips to silence him. 
Looking at him makes you feel bad, and not only that but flustered. You had wanted what you were doing to continue, JJ free, or so you kept telling yourself. 
    “No, I just,” you give yourself a mere second to think of an excuse because it wasn't like you could tell him the truth, ‘sorry, I was picturing someone else, but don’t worry about it because there is most definitely nothing going on between the two of us!’ There was no way that he would take that the right way. 
    “I thought I heard something,” you lie, it was all you could think of quickly.
You feel like your mind is playing tricks on you, far more than it should have been when you hear footsteps approaching your bedroom. Carter looks at you, disbelief on his face, which you try your hardest not to mirror. You sit up fully, fixing your dress when you hear a knock on your door before it swings open.    
    “Okay so we need to talk, I’ve got to tell you about something that JJ ha-”
Kie stops dead in her tracks, taking in the sight of the pair of you, not doing your best to look inconspicuous.
    “Oh, well this makes sense,” she says, her tone sharp. 
    “Kie? What are you doing here?” you question, folding your arms. 
Kie’s gaze lingers on Carter, a hostile glare in her eyes. You aren’t sure what it is about Carter that she doesn’t like, to be honest, it was probably just because he was a so-called ‘kook,’ and you knew how she felt about them, regardless of Carter being nothing like them. 
Her gaze falls back to you, softening slightly as her arms find their way to each other. 
    “Well, I wanted to talk to you. I’ve missed our gossip time, but I see you’re busy.” 
Her eyes glance back at Carter, who is now glaring at her. You stand up, smoothing out your dress, as your look between the pair of them. 
    “Um,” you pause looking at Carter, hoping that he would have some interjection, none. “You could have just called me,” you suggest, which Kie doesn’t like the sound of. 
You aren’t going to admit that you are glad that she popped in when she did, because she assuredly saved you from an awkward chat with Carter, but her unexpected visit also kind of bothered you. 
    “Sorry, my bad,” she says.
You hear Carter shuffle behind you, standing up. 
    “Hey, I’ve actually got to head out, so I’ll call you later, yeah?” he smiles.
You hate to see him leave, but you give him a small nod.
    “Yeah, I’ll walk you out,” you turn to face Kie, “I’ll be right back.” 
You lead Carter out of the room after he politely says goodbye to Kie, which is more than she gave him. You reach the front door, your mother calling out to him saying goodbye, which he returns. Once she’s out of sight, he grabs your hips, watching your features for any sign of discomfort, you give him none.
    “Hey, so you don’t have to say yes, but I hope you do,” your brow raises as he continues, “So midsummers is coming up, and I want you to go with me. I have to go, and I figured if I’ve got to be miserable, at least I can have you there with me.” 
Both of his brows raise in question, as he waits for you to respond. The request wasn’t one that you expected, but you weren’t going to object. Deep down you had always wondered what it would be like to go, Kie always made it sound like it was a total bore, but something inside you begged to differ.
    “Yeah, I would love to go and be miserable with you,” you smile.
It takes him longer than it should for him to realize that you were being for real, and not just joking. 
    “Cool, I will inform my mother.” 
He kisses your forehead, before leaving. You close the door after him, and hurry back to your room, Kie lying flat on your bed. She sits up once you enter, her gaze trailing you. 
    “So is that what ‘busy’ looks like?” she asks.
You sigh, sitting down on the bed next to her. This was why you didn’t fully want to tell her, to tell any of them. When you don’t answer, she does for you.
    “You know what he is,” she remarks. 
She’s quick to throw it out like he was some type of unspeakable thing, and you crinkle your nose at it. 
    “What? A good person?” you retort. 
    “He’s just like the rest of them.” 
You scoff, “No he’s not, besides I don’t get what your problem is with him.” 
She doesn’t respond, but just rolls her eyes, letting the beat of silence rest between you. 
    “Look, do what you want, all I’m saying is just be careful.” She smiles softly, but you can tell she wants to say more.
    “I will,” you smile back, “Now, what did you want to tell me about, JJ?”
The roll of her eyes is so exaggerated, it only makes you more concerned about what she has to say. Kie situates herself to face you better, taking a deep breath like what she was going to say was going to be a lot.    
    “Okay so I found out that JJ is seeing someone,” she starts. 
You feel your stomach drop. Unbeknownst to you, your jaw tightens at the mention of the girl in question. 
    “Okay, why are we surprised? And better yet, why do we care?” you shrug, doing your best to seem unbothered. You can feel the aloofness on your features, and you do your best to push it away. You don’t want Kie to see because if she did, you know she would have questions. Sure enough, Kie studies your demeanor, silently noting it all.
    “Are you okay?” she prods.
No, not really! You didn’t want to admit that to her, however, knowing she wouldn’t take to it kindly. The situation confused you, seeing as how not but a couple of days ago he had been messaging you all sort of suggestive lines, but now here he was, sneaking about with someone. It stung a little, but you try your best to ignore it. 
    “Yeah, I’m just tired of him using poor girls, that's all.” 
You lay flat against your bed, watching the ceiling fan spin around. You don’t know what you expected from him, he wasn’t yours nor were you his, but for some reason, you felt achy, and like you had been toyed with and lied to. Here is another good reason why the whole exchange that you have with JJ is a bad idea. 
    “I mean, I guess,” she sighs, joining you by laying back on the bed as well. 
    “Who’s the poor girl?” 
You’re not sure you want to know the answer, all things considered, but you ask nonetheless. 
    “I have no clue,” she pauses, “but the boys won’t stop talking about her.” 
You take a deep breath, trying to shake yourself from the feeling that was festering inside of you. You shouldn’t care, you keep telling yourself, but you do. 
    “Well, good for him,” you sigh. 
There isn’t much more for you to say towards the matter, but there it was. Kie props herself up on her elbow, looking down at you. 
    “Yeah, wanna know what’s worse?” she prods.
You really didn’t, but you meet her gaze, nodding for her to continue with the rest of the bad news. 
    “I’m pretty sure that John b and Sarah are seeing each other, in some way shape, or form.” she scoffs.
It makes you laugh at her disgust in the fact that John b has a thing for the kook princess. It made sense considering all the questions he had been asking you over the past few days, regarding this mystery woman that he needed help with. It made even more sense as to why he hadn’t asked Kiara, even when you told him to get her opinion on the matter as well, it was a straight no from him. You roll to your side, mirroring her by propping yourself up.
    “When did this happen? And what do you mean by seeing each other?” You ask. 
The disbelief on her face made you smile, She clearly didn’t like your reaction to the news. 
    “A couple of days ago,” she says, waving the rest of it off, clearly not wanting to talk too much about it. 
    “Hmm, makes sense.” 
Her eyes narrow at you, waiting for you to explain your comment.    
    “How so?” 
You sit up and she does the same.
    “He’s been asking me for help with some girl, so I’m just saying the timing checks out.” you shrug. 
You watch her shift uncomfortably, trying to fake her interest in the topic. 
    “Do you have a crush on him, Kie? Is that why it bothers you so much?” 
She glares at you, the corner of her lip turning up in disgust. You could swear that she does, whether or not she wants to admit it.
    “No, but come on, Sarah Cameron? Why her?” she says rhetorically, throwing her arms up.
    “What is your problem with her?” 
Kie bites at her cheek, pulling herself off of the bed. 
    “Nothing, I just don’t like her. She’s a bitch and she’s only going to hurt him.” 
She folds her arms, looking down at you, waiting for you to challenge her bullshit excuse, but you decide to let it go. 
    “Well, he’s got us if something goes bad.” you smile.
Kie just nods in agreement, shoving her hands into her pockets.
    “Yeah, I guess. Speaking of, they miss you, why don’t you go over to John b’s with me? We were just going to hang tonight.” she suggests. 
You’re not sure that you want to. Not sure if you want to see JJ, but you oblige anyway, giving her a quick nod, before pulling yourself from your bed. 
“Yeah why not.” you give her a quick smile 
You grab your things, not bothering to tell your mother where you are going, as you head out.
                                  _______________
You would think that you had been missing forever with the way the boys greeted you when you walked up to them, all sitting around the unlit fire pit, beers in hand. 
“Oh my god, she lives!” JJ calls out as you approach.
“Oh, shit!” John b throws in. 
Pope clambers to his feet to give you a hug, pulling you in tightly like he assumed it would be your last ever hug.    
 “Ugh, it’s good to finally see you,” he remarks. 
You squeeze him back, before pulling away. Kie makes her way inside, calling back at you to see if you want a drink, you give her a nod before she's gone. Pope gestures for you to sit down in his chair, and he takes the grass patch next to John b. 
Kie emerges from the house, carrying more than enough drinks for the two of you. She tosses one each at the boys, before handing you one.     
            “So, where the hell have you been?” John b asks.
            “Um, well I-” 
Kie cuts you off, feeling it was her right to tell everyone where you had been whisked away to, or more importantly, who had whisked you away.
    “She’s been hanging out with Carter,” she pauses, “they’re totally dating.” 
Not all of what she said was true, you were not dating Carter, or at least to your knowledge, you had merely been hanging out and that was all. Okay, maybe that wasn’t all, but that was all that needed to be mentioned. You can’t help but let your eyes meet JJ, who looks very displeased. His eyes practically burn through you, as he brings his drink to his lips. 
         “You’re dating him?” JJ asks, his tone sharp and pointed. 
Your eyes flick back to Kie, who now sits down next to John b, letting them narrow on her. 
        “No, I’m not,” you mumble, avoiding his gaze.
You lock eyes with John b, whose brows crease at your change in tone. 
        “Well, that’s not what it looked like,” Kie giggles.
        “What does that mean?” JJ comments. 
You’re not sure why she’s saying the things she is, and it is starting to bother you. Kie did not know what you had been up to with Carter, nor was it like she saw anything when she so happened to barge into your room. It also wasn’t like you’ve told her anything, and for good reason. Kie was always too opinionated on every little thing, so you found out that you had to keep certain things to yourself, a long time ago, or you would hear a whole spiel about what she thought. 
         “Nothing, that’s what it means,” you claim. 
         “I’m just saying,” she comments. 
         “Okay, whatever, Kie.” 
You gulp down the remainder of your drink, crumbling the can and tossing it into the pit. The boys, all confused, turn to take the conversation in a different direction. John b leans over and offers you another drink, and you snatch it out of his hand, sending him a soft smile in thanks. 
You start to zone out, paying little to no attention to the conversation at hand. You only catch fragments of the conversations, “Did you hear they broke up,” and “Ugh, he’s such a prick!” The only fragment that catches your attention was from John b.
    “So, I might be going to Midsummers.”
Your eyes dart up from staring at the firepit, and straight to John b’s now rosy face. It seems you aren’t the only one shocked by the comment because everyone seems to have the same expression plastered on their faces. 
    “What?” Kie says, watching him carefully. 
John b’s eyes are glued to you, looking for some type of comfort and assurance, not able to bring himself to look at anyone else. Your brows crease, waiting for him to further explain himself, whilst giving him an encouraging nod to continue.
    “Um, well,” he pauses, still sending you pleading looks. 
You understood what he was getting at, not wanting to tell everyone out of fear of what they would say. You love your friends, but they aren’t always as supportive as they should be, you, however, were. 
    “Me too,” you claim, pulling the attention off of him.
Everyone’s faces turn to you, the same look harboring on them, even John b’s. 
          “What!” Kie gasps. 
          “Yeah, Carter asked me to be his date today, and I said yes,” you shrug. 
Bewilderment radiates from everyone. The look on JJ’s face, slightly different from everyone else's, almost looked sour accompanied by his tense demeanor. 
          “Why would you want to go, they are such a bore, plus you’re going to be surrounded by rich assholes who think that they are better than everyone else,” Kie explains. You roll your eyes at her, taking a deep breath. 
“Well it looks like I’ll be fine, I’ll have all of you there to help me get by, it seems.” 
You smile before finishing off your second drink. You pull yourself out of your chair and make a line for the door. 
     “be’right back,” you call.  
You step inside and let out a heavy breath. Kie was getting on your nerves. From the moment she had seen you it had been nothing but judgment on every little thing, nothing but negative comments, it was starting to irk you. On top of that, without wanting to admit it, the whole JJ thing is also taking a toll on you. 
You stride over to the fridge, swinging it open and snagging yourself another beer. Opening it you lean back against the counter, taking a moment of silence to yourself, or so you thought. 
The door opens and JJ strides in, his eyes honed in on you, as he makes his way over. He grabs open the fridge, and grabs his drink, before letting the fridge fall shut. He moves to stand in front of you, opening his drink and bringing it to his lips. 
        “So, Carter huh?” he starts.
You set your drink down and cross your arms, your eyes meet him, waiting for him to get to the point.
         “What about him?” 
JJ scoffs, rolling his eyes, letting his expression fall blank as he stares at you.
          “I thought you didn’t like him.”
You watch him try to play it off like he doesn't care, you’re not sure why he would in the first place, but that’s what it looks like. 
      “Does it matter?” You retort. 
JJ steps forward towards you, slowly. 
       “Maybe it does,” he says, his tone is slightly harsh as he speaks.
      “I don’t know why it would matter to you, besides I heard you’re seeing someone,” you accuse. You wanted to forget about that tidbit of information that you had gotten from Kie, but it had been pestering you all night.
JJ’s face falters, puzzlement first, then is quickly replaced with a look of intrigue. The corner of his mouth starts to turn up, at the hostile look on your face. 
        “Well, now where did you hear that?”
He stops moving, his eyes trailing you slowly, his brow raised. 
        “Kie,” you answer.
The look of amusement on his face was making you confused. Your brows crease as you think over what it is that you had said. 
       “Ah, and do you believe her?” 
You watch his tongue flick over his bottom lip, waiting for you to answer, the smug look on his face growing. It wouldn’t surprise you if the news was true, JJ seemed to almost always have someone that he was with, but the thing was, he never really had anyone that he had a serious or even remotely serious relationship with, so that was the only thing that made you question. 
As you take your time to think of your response, JJ makes his way to stop right in front of you, leaning into you. You close your eyes, your heartbeat hastening when you feel his breath against your skin. You feel his hand graze your arm, and then you hear the sound of him setting his drink down, behind you. You feel a little stupid when you open your eyes to see him grinning at you, his head slightly tilted as he watches you. 
        “Does that bother you, cupcake?” 
His eyes trail your face, resting on your lips as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth. 
        “No,” you lie.
It does bother you, as much as you don't want to admit it, it does. JJ nods slowly, his eyes never leaving your lips.
        “Hmm, I don’t believe you,” he mumbles. You swallow hard as you realize what his gaze is fixated on. 
         “Should it bother me?” you breathe. 
         “Dunno,” he shrugs, slowly backing away from you, “Let me know when you figure it out though,” he winks. 
Before you can think, you reach out letting your fingers wrap around the necklace resting on his chest, pulling him into you. He knew what you want when his lips come crashing down hard against yours, his tongue slipping past your lips, instantly dominating the kiss. His hands find their way to your hips, gripping them as he pushes you back into the countertop. 
One of your hands grasps tightly onto the fabric of his shirt, and the other finds its place on the nape of his neck, gently tugging at his blonde locks, as you desperately urge him to kiss you deeper, harder. You push yourself into him, and he tightens his grip on your hips, the fabric of your dress ruches up at your sides, leaving your legs even more exposed, as he pushes back against you. His hand falls from your hip and you don’t bother to stop him when his knuckles begin to trace over the new patch of exposed skin. You can feel goosebumps trailing at his touch, and you swear, you could melt right there. 
You want more, more of him. You’re not sure if it's jealousy fueling you, and even if it was, you would deny it, but you don’t care. Kissing him was making your head foggy, your skin hot, and making the butterflies in your stomach flutter.
Being with him right here, now, kissing him, you could just let yourself get completely swept away by him, by his touch, and forget every little thing, and that’s what you want, to get swept up in him.
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misguidedasgardian · 2 years
Text
My love, his duty // Chapter 9
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MASTERLIST
Chapter Summary: Everything was too good to be true
Pairing: King!Bucky Barnes x Queen!Reader (very ambiguously described)
Chapter Warnings: Angst, talk of cheating, fluff, talk about miscarriage, intented poisoning, violence (ot towards reader), cursing, interrogation related violence and intimidation
+18 please. MINORS DNI
Word Count (Chapter): 2.7 k
Notes: I'm so sorry for the delay! in my summer vacations my inspiraton took a long break too hahaha but I'm back!! and we have a long story to tell so don't worry, a war is brewing!!
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“Sharon, you are running out of time, what else do you want from me?” he asked
“I wanted to talk to you about something important” she said
“What is it?”
“I want us to resume our relationship, it's been three months already and I think it's been enough for you to realize what you really want, I mean, she is with child, you fulfilled the purpose, I know you love me…”
“I don't anymore” He said, “I love her! This had been enough Sharon, I want you to leave”
“I'm pregnant” she said hastily, refusing to hear it. The king looked at her astonished
“I don't believe you” he whispered
“You’d congratulate her but dismiss me?” she said, “Your lover of ten years?”
“Yes, exactly, we´ve been together for 10 fucking years and you had never gotten pregnant, and now that I wish to part fom you, you are miracously with child?”
“You hurt me” she accused
“If this is a lie…” he threatened and paused, measuring his words carefully, “You will be expelled from court but with no country home to go to!”
Tears fell from her eyes, as she tugged the fabric of her loose dress towards her back. And Bucky gasped when he saw her already round belly. But she quickly wiped her tears and looked at him with deep anger in her eyes. He swallowed, hard, at the look of rage in her face.
“I’ll give you anything you want” he said, “But please don't go near her” she laughed bitterly
“he won't see me or know anything about this, if… we resume our relationship” Sharon knew, she knew if she could have him by her side he would forget all about her, he would come back to her, like he had done all these years, “So… my king” she asked, tears running down her cheeks, “What are you going to do?”
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“Is worse than we thought” Nat mumbled to Fury, “I’m not sure yet, but the guards that were on post the night the treats were delivered…”
“They must know what is going on” Fury completed
“But I cannot question them myself” she said, “I have to investigate through them”
“Do what you must, we need to stop this threat” said the counselor, “I will keep my eye into them as well”
“We have a couple of maids in our side too” she answered
“Well, round them up, and what about Sharon?”
“I still can’t find anything to make her leave”
“You have to hurry”
“One of the maids said… she is with child” there was a dead silence while they seated by the gardens
“Gods” Fury muttered
“She still isn't showing very much, I need to find out if it’s the king’s” she whispered
“We need to assume it is” responded Fury
“But if it's not… that’s the leverage we need”
“Keep searching for Sharon, but don’t dismiss the guards” he continued, “We are getting heat from all fronts, and that’s strange, I get a feeling it might be connected”
“That Sharon is behind the attempts of poisoning?” even Natasha found it strange
“Remember that behind Sharon, there is a big important family”
“I will, for now, the guards had been changed to loyalist without suspicion, and the ones from that night had been assigned to less important things to protect”
“Good, that way, no one is going to miss a non important guard” Nat smiled wickedly and nodded, “our main goal is to keep her safe”
“I will, with my life” Fury just smiled and Natasha walked away
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You didn't know what was going on
Since you found Sharon entering James´ private chambers, you had been avoiding your own husband like he was the plague incarnated, in hopes of keep being calm for the sake of the baby, your belly had swollen beautifully, as days turn to weeks
But what hurt was that James hadn't tried to make contact with you either, he kept giving you excuses without you asking for them, excuses for his long hunting trips, and the long meetings that prevent him to even have dinner at your side
There has been no more attempts against you or the prince, you knew as much, since Wanda told you anything she knew about those poisoned treats someone send you, and that’s why your King had been so busy, he was taking care of it, allegedly
You also noticed Sharon was missing, and that only made you more suspicious, and at the same time, more upset. Were they together? He had given you his word, perhaps it didn’t mean much. You were all alone now, Wanda in the skies with Vision’s attention, and Bucky nowhere in sight
You felt your chest heavy with sadness, you thought he had grow to care for you, and your mind was tormented with memories you two had made together, like in your journey to Madripoor, or your mother’ crown, or the numerous times you had slept right next to him… your coronation, the way he stood up to your father.
Did all of that mean nothing?
You took a deep breath as delicious fragrances from the flowers of the garden reach your nose, and you decided to sit in the edge of the water fountain, to enjoy the beautiful day, and the gardens that had bloomed in all their might
“My Queen” you rose your head from the fountain to gaze upon Duke Rogers, who came on your direction with his flock of loyal servants and guards “I must say you are a divine sight of motherhood” you smiled shyly, as you put a hand over your swollen belly
“You are too kind your Grace” you muttered
“Even so, you look unwell, should I look for a physician?”
“Please don't trouble yourself” you said, as you intended to rise from your seat, Steve came to your help as he graciously helped you, taking your hands and rose you to your feet “I'm happy to say our King´s child is strong, but I'm also sorry to say is drawing his strength from me” you said, smiling weakly
“Please, tell me what's troubling your Majesty” he urged, as you took deep breaths
“I´m afraid they are marital problems” you wanted it to reach the King how bitter you were, and what better option to make that happen with his most trusted friend's ear?
“My Queen?” he asked, alarmed
“Well, my holy condition will not allow the King and I to be together, and I totally understand why his loneliness would make him seek... his old companion”
“Does that upset you, your Majesty?” he asked, as seriousness took hold of his factions
“Yes, I can't help it” you said, after taking a large breath
“Why don't you just get rid of her?” he asked so naturally, and that made you shiver
“I know better” you whispered “Queen's heads had been lost for less than to come across his King’s and his mistress”
“Your majesty, the King adores you with all his heart” he said “it weighs heavily in his heart that he cannot be with you, so he takes his frustrations on someone else”
“He won’t even see me in the daytime” you said, you grief sneaking through your words, “I’m starting to think that, now that he had succeeded in his purpose, he won’t…” you couldn’t even finish that sentence, “That he doesn't care for me”
“That’s not true” he said softly, “He loves you, I’m sure of it”
“I would like to address this no further” you said “I came to the gardens to distract myself from this”
“Of course”
You continued to stroll through the magnificent gardens, that were your personal favorite part of the palace, the rich fountains and all kinds of plants and flowers
“Why won't you marry?” you asked, wishing to ponder upon other things, after all, that's what you meant to do when you visited the gardens
“I´m afraid it pained me so the loss of my wife and child, I married the court and his Majesty´s service instead”
“I'm so very sorry” you said, looking at him as he stop his stroll to return the look “I didn't know”
“We were young” he said, as you both resumed the walk “barely come of age, and I asked her to marry me, we did so, we were expecting our first child, it was a complicated pregnancy, and she died in childbirth, her and the boy” you gasped, as without thinking your hands cradled your belly “I´m so very sorry for this gruesome tale, your majesty”
“I´m the one who should be sorry, to bring you back so painful memories” you muttered
“It's been a long time since,” he said after a long sigh
“Maybe one day you’ll find love again” you whispered, with a reassuring smile
“I really hope so” he answered back, smiling at you
The Duke kept walking alongside you, until he left right at the doors of you own rooms
For the first time since he had memory, he was mad, mad at his friend, and at his King, Steve opened the door to James’ office, to find his friend deep in paperwork
“Bucky” Steve called “your Queen found out about your reunion with Sharon, she is upset”
“Shit” he cursed, slapping his wooden desk “how?”
“I´m not sure, I think she just saw Sharon entering your chambers” he grunted, not daring to look at his friend “I don´t understand it” Steve reprimanded “why do you do this to her?”
“Steve you don´t understand, I wasn't intimate with her, she… wanted to see me”
“She wanted to talk to you?”
“Yes, we just talked, her time to leave court is almost upon us, and… She had some news for me”
“What news?”
“Sharon is pregnant”
“What?”
“She is already showing” he murmured, “She is further along than the Queen, so I have to keep her away from her, and if I don’t keep her close to me, she will go on and talk to (Y/N), and I can’t let that happen” he concluded, his deep cerulean eyes trying to find answers in his friend’s
“Gods…I, is there a way?”
“Until I can find out who was behind the attacks against the Queen there is nothing I can do, they stopped the second I agreed to Sharon’s terms”
“Does she mean something to you? Do you consult her? seek comfort in her?” he asked again
“I don´t” he said quickly, “I wanted her to leave court”
“But why make your wife upset? She is carrying your firstborn, you have to tell her, you know what she said to me?
“What?” he asked
“Queen's heads had been lost for less than to come across his King´s and his mistress,” Bucky looked shocked, and terrified
“Does she really think I could…?”
“C´mon Bucky, throughout history there's been a hundred Kings that get rid of their Queens on false accusations of adultery, just to have their heads and after marry their mistresses without any further problems”
“I would never do that to her, ever, she is my wife, my queen, she has my child inside of her, I love her”
“She thinks you love Sharon”
“As soon as my child is out of her belly Sharon is gone from here”
“Ok, but until that happens, you need to talk to her, write her a letter even”
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“Lady Romanoff” greeted the guard with a grin, “What a pleasant surprise”
“I needed to see my favorite guard” Nat swayed her hips and drew a small smirk, smiling at him
“All the way down to the stables?” he asked, playing along
“Why don’t we go to a more intimate place?” she asked. He smiled wickedly
“Whenever you want sweetheart” Nat guided him towards the back of the stables, and whe she made sure no one followed them, she hit him in the neck so hard he lost consciousness
“I don’t get paid enough for this” she grumbled, whe she looked at the heavy and big body of the unconscious guard
Nat threw a jar full of water over his head, making the man jumped on his spot, waking up instantly
“Wake up” she demanded, the man coughed, and tried to move, but he was tightly strapped to a heavy wooden chair
“What is this?” he asked, his fear increasing, “Release me at once! don’t you know who I am?”
“I know exactly who you are” she continued, “A traitor to the Crown”
“What are you talking about? release me you crazy…!” Nat punched him in the face so hard he drew a pained moan, fearing that she broke her jaw
“I’ll have you hanged you witch!” he yelled
“By who?” she asked, “Show me who’s behind you and I’ll tell you who is behind me” she answered
“What are you talking about?”
“Who sent the Queen the poisonous treats?” she asked
“I don’t know!” he yelled. Nat hit him again
“Talk!”
“Go to hell you wench!” without even flinching, she took out a sharp dagger she hid under her skirts, and stabbed him in the leg without hesitation
The thick stone walls made his scream ricochet. Without alerting anyone else in a mile radius, the old chamber underground was erect for this kind of work
When he stopped screeching in pain, Nat asked again
“Is strange” she growled, “both times the Queen had an attempt made against her and the Prince’s life, you seemed to be there, guarding her” she started, “How come?”
“I don’t know I didn’t poison her” he cried
“But you know who did, who is behind those attacks?” she pressured again
“I don’t, we’ve been told to just turn a blind eye” he cried, Natasha slapped him in the face again, making his turn painfully, “It’s the truth!”
“By who?” she asked again
“Rumlow” he answered
“He is no longer the Captain of the King’s guard” she accused
“But still, he has men that are still loyal to him” he whispered
“Who else besides you?” he shook his head, “give me the fucking names or I’ll start cutting fingers!”
“I’ll give you the names!” he cried, and Natasha heard calmly the names of about 5 guards, none of them were close to the King.
“Where is Rumlow now?”
“Staying at the whore house, the one near the docks, where all the guards meet”
“Good” she retrieved the dagger of his leg, making him cry out again
“Are you going to kill me?”
“No, but in exchange, I want you to leave, and never came back”
“Ok, ok, I will”
“I heard your family has a farm in the border with Wakanda I’d went there if I were you” he cried in pain because of ihs leg, but he nodded
Natasha smiled triumphantly when she exited the room, were the Counselor Fury awaited for her
“I have all the names of the guards we need to change”
“Good”
“And I know where Rumlow is”
“I’ll take this to the King” said Fury, “So he can finally begin putting an end to these threats”
“He didn’t know who was the one that send that poison, but I bet Rumlow does”
“I bet he does” he murmured, “Let’s find that motherfucker”
Nat’s cover couldn't be blown, so that forced Fury to walked towards the privy council room, where he found his King, accompanied by Duke Rogers
“Lord Fury, what can I help you with?” James mumbled, clearly upset of being interrupted
“The question is, my King, what I can do for you, with the information I have gathered,”
that seemed to relax his face, looking at the chancellor with interest
“What is it?”
“I’ve discovered a discrepancy amongst the guards” Steve looked at him surprised, “The ones that guarded the Queen’s chambers the night of the attempting poisoning, they were following commands of Rumlow”
“Did they poison her?” he asked, seething
“No, but they were told to”turn a blind eye” to the mysterious packages”
“That bastard Rumlow”
“There is someone else he is plotting with, the identity of this alleged traitor is yet to be discovered”
“I’ll give you all the permission and resources you’ll need”
“I also discovered where he is staying, but I need your authorization to apprehend him”
“You have it, I’ll give you the royal seal, catch that bastard and bring him to me”
“I shall go as well” said Steve firmly, “As a temporary Captain of the King’s guard”
“Good, go Steve there is none I trust more than you both”
“I’ll take my me so I’ll leave your guard here protecting you”
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You didn't know what was going on
Since you found Sharon entering James´ private chambers, you had been avoiding your own husband like he was the plague incarnated, in hopes of keep being calm for the sake of the baby, your belly had swollen beautifully, as days turn to weeks
But what hurt was that James hadn't tried to make contact with you either, he kept giving you excuses without you asking for them, excuses for his long hunting trips, and the long meetings that prevent him to even have dinner at your side
There has been no more attempts against you or the prince, you knew as much, since Wanda told you anything she knew about those poisoned treats someone send you, and that’s why your King had been so busy, he was taking care of it, allegedly
You also noticed Sharon was missing, and that only made you more suspicious, and at the same time, more upset. Were they together? He had given you his word, perhaps it didn’t mean much. You were all alone now, Wanda in the skies with Vision’s attention, and Bucky nowhere in sight
You felt your chest heavy with sadness, you thought he had grow to care for you, and your mind was tormented with memories you two had made together, like in your journey to Madripoor, or your mother’ crown, or the numerous times you had slept right next to him… your coronation, the way he stood up to your father.
Did all of that mean nothing?
You took a deep breath as delicious fragrances from the flowers of the garden reach your nose, and you decided to sit in the edge of the water fountain, to enjoy the beautiful day, and the gardens that had bloomed in all their might
“My Queen” you rose your head from the fountain to gaze upon Duke Rogers, who came on your direction with his flock of loyal servants and guards “I must say you are a divine sight of motherhood” you smiled shyly, as you put a hand over your swollen belly
“You are too kind your Grace” you muttered
“Even so, you look unwell, should I look for a physician?”
“Please don't trouble yourself” you said, as you intended to rise from your seat, Steve came to your help as he graciously helped you, taking your hands and rose you to your feet “I'm happy to say our King´s child is strong, but I'm also sorry to say is drawing his strength from me” you said, smiling weakly
“Please, tell me what's troubling your Majesty” he urged, as you took deep breaths
“I´m afraid they are marital problems” you wanted it to reach the King how bitter you were, and what better option to make that happen with his most trusted friend's ear?
“My Queen?” he asked, alarmed
“Well, my holy condition will not allow the King and I to be together, and I totally understand why his loneliness would make him seek... his old companion”
“Does that upset you, your Majesty?” he asked, as seriousness took hold of his factions
“Yes, I can't help it” you said, after taking a large breath
“Why don't you just get rid of her?” he asked so naturally, and that made you shiver
“I know better” you whispered “Queen's heads had been lost for less than to come across his King’s and his mistress”
“Your majesty, the King adores you with all his heart” he said “it weighs heavily in his heart that he cannot be with you, so he takes his frustrations on someone else”
“He won’t even see me in the daytime” you said, you grief sneaking through your words, “I’m starting to think that, now that he had succeeded in his purpose, he won’t…” you couldn’t even finish that sentence, “That he doesn't care for me”
“That’s not true” he said softly, “He loves you, I’m sure of it”
“I would like to address this no further” you said “I came to the gardens to distract myself from this”
“Of course”
You continued to stroll through the magnificent gardens, that were your personal favorite part of the palace, the rich fountains and all kinds of plants and flowers
“Why won't you marry?” you asked, wishing to ponder upon other things, after all, that's what you meant to do when you visited the gardens
“I´m afraid it pained me so the loss of my wife and child, I married the court and his Majesty´s service instead”
“I'm so very sorry” you said, looking at him as he stop his stroll to return the look “I didn't know”
“We were young” he said, as you both resumed the walk “barely come of age, and I asked her to marry me, we did so, we were expecting our first child, it was a complicated pregnancy, and she died in childbirth, her and the boy” you gasped, as without thinking your hands cradled your belly “I´m so very sorry for this gruesome tale, your majesty”
“I´m the one who should be sorry, to bring you back so painful memories” you muttered
“It's been a long time since,” he said after a long sigh
“Maybe one day you’ll find love again” you whispered, with a reassuring smile
“I really hope so” he answered back, smiling at you
The Duke kept walking alongside you, until he left right at the doors of you own rooms
For the first time since he had memory, he was mad, mad at his friend, and at his King, Steve opened the door to James’ office, to find his friend deep in paperwork
“Bucky” Steve called “your Queen found out about your reunion with Sharon, she is upset”
“Shit” he cursed, slapping his wooden desk “how?”
“I´m not sure, I think she just saw Sharon entering your chambers” he grunted, not daring to look at his friend “I don´t understand it” Steve reprimanded “why do you do this to her?”
“Steve you don´t understand, I wasn't intimate with her, she… wanted to see me”
“She wanted to talk to you?”
“Yes, we just talked, her time to leave court is almost upon us, and… She had some news for me”
“What news?”
“Sharon is pregnant”
“What?”
“She is already showing” he murmured, “She is further along than the Queen, so I have to keep her away from her, and if I don’t keep her close to me, she will go on and talk to (Y/N), and I can’t let that happen” he concluded, his deep cerulean eyes trying to find answers in his friend’s
“Gods…I, is there a way?”
“Until I can find out who was behind the attacks against the Queen there is nothing I can do, they stopped the second I agreed to Sharon’s terms”
“Does she mean something to you? Do you consult her? seek comfort in her?” he asked again
“I don´t” he said quickly, “I wanted her to leave court”
“But why make your wife upset? She is carrying your firstborn, you have to tell her, you know what she said to me?
“What?” he asked
“Queen's heads had been lost for less than to come across his King´s and his mistress,” Bucky looked shocked, and terrified
“Does she really think I could…?”
“C´mon Bucky, throughout history there's been a hundred Kings that get rid of their Queens on false accusations of adultery, just to have their heads and after marry their mistresses without any further problems”
“I would never do that to her, ever, she is my wife, my queen, she has my child inside of her, I love her”
“She thinks you love Sharon”
“As soon as my child is out of her belly Sharon is gone from here”
“Ok, but until that happens, you need to talk to her, write her a letter even”
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“Lady Romanoff” greeted the guard with a grin, “What a pleasant surprise”
“I needed to see my favorite guard” Nat swayed her hips and drew a small smirk, smiling at him
“All the way down to the stables?” he asked, playing along
“Why don’t we go to a more intimate place?” she asked. He smiled wickedly
“Whenever you want sweetheart” Nat guided him towards the back of the stables, and whe she made sure no one followed them, she hit him in the neck so hard he lost consciousness
“I don’t get paid enough for this” she grumbled, whe she looked at the heavy and big body of the unconscious guard
Nat threw a jar full of water over his head, making the man jumped on his spot, waking up instantly
“Wake up” she demanded, the man coughed, and tried to move, but he was tightly strapped to a heavy wooden chair
“What is this?” he asked, his fear increasing, “Release me at once! don’t you know who I am?”
“I know exactly who you are” she continued, “A traitor to the Crown”
“What are you talking about? release me you crazy…!” Nat punched him in the face so hard he drew a pained moan, fearing that she broke her jaw
“I’ll have you hanged you witch!” he yelled
“By who?” she asked, “Show me who’s behind you and I’ll tell you who is behind me” she answered
“What are you talking about?”
“Who sent the Queen the poisonous treats?” she asked
“I don’t know!” he yelled. Nat hit him again
“Talk!”
“Go to hell you wench!” without even flinching, she took out a sharp dagger she hid under her skirts, and stabbed him in the leg without hesitation
The thick stone walls made his scream ricochet. Without alerting anyone else in a mile radius, the old chamber underground was erect for this kind of work
When he stopped screeching in pain, Nat asked again
“Is strange” she growled, “both times the Queen had an attempt made against her and the Prince’s life, you seemed to be there, guarding her” she started, “How come?”
“I don’t know I didn’t poison her” he cried
“But you know who did, who is behind those attacks?” she pressured again
“I don’t, we’ve been told to just turn a blind eye” he cried, Natasha slapped him in the face again, making his turn painfully, “It’s the truth!”
“By who?” she asked again
“Rumlow” he answered
“He is no longer the Captain of the King’s guard” she accused
“But still, he has men that are still loyal to him” he whispered
“Who else besides you?” he shook his head, “give me the fucking names or I’ll start cutting fingers!”
“I’ll give you the names!” he cried, and Natasha heard calmly the names of about 5 guards, none of them were close to the King.
“Where is Rumlow now?”
“Staying at the whore house, the one near the docks, where all the guards meet”
“Good” she retrieved the dagger of his leg, making him cry out again
“Are you going to kill me?”
“No, but in exchange, I want you to leave, and never came back”
“Ok, ok, I will”
“I heard your family has a farm in the border with Wakanda I’d go there if I were you” he cried in pain because of his leg, but he nodded
Natasha smiled triumphantly when she exited the room, were the Counselor Fury awaited for her
“I have all the names of the guards we need to change”
“Good”
“And I know where Rumlow is”
“I’ll take this to the King” said Fury, “So he can finally begin putting an end to these threats”
“He didn’t know who was the one that send that poison, but I bet Rumlow does”
“I bet he does” he murmured, “Let’s find that motherfucker”
Nat’s cover couldn't be blown, so that forced Fury to walked towards the privy council room, where he found his King, accompanied by Duke Rogers
“Lord Fury, what can I help you with?” James mumbled, clearly upset of being interrupted
“The question is, my King, what I can do for you, with the information I have gathered,”
that seemed to relax his face, looking at the chancellor with interest
“What is it?”
“I’ve discovered a discrepancy amongst the guards” Steve looked at him surprised, “The ones that guarded the Queen’s chambers the night of the attempting poisoning, they were following commands of Rumlow”
“Did they poison her?” he asked, seething
“No, but they were told to ”turn a blind eye” to the mysterious packages”
“That bastard”
“There is someone else he is plotting with, the identity of this alleged traitor is yet to be discovered”
“I’ll give you all the permission and resources you’ll need to find him and apprehend him” he said firmly, “Everything you’ll need is yours”
“I also discovered where he is staying, but I need your authorization to apprehend him”
“You have it, I’ll give you the royal seal, catch that bastard and bring him to me”
“I shall go as well” said Steve firmly, “As a temporary Captain of the King’s guard”
“Good, go Steve there is none I trust more than you both”
“I’ll take my men so I’ll leave your guards here protecting you”
"Find him" demanded the King
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Taglist! <3 @ boofy1998 , @ scxrletrecsmarvel @ itsthemaree @connie326 @enchantedbarnes @scxrletrecsmarvel @itsthemaree @broco8 @babyjay9898-blog @luckyladycreator2 @capmanranger @gloryekaterina @the-lady-vanora @j2brosforlife-spn @rancidgracey @httyd-marauders @stumbleonmywords @buckys-milk @undecidedsworld @chwlogy @queensgirl718 @calwitch @thefridgeismybestie @lokisimps4dayz @dontbescaredtosingalong @hesitate9
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mod-ibuki · 2 years
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"rain?" || nagito komaeda x reader
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the feels: fluff
PAIRING: NAGITO KOMAEDA X READER
warning: swearing
A/N: some happy stuff to make up for my last 2 posts, and it involves nagito, Jay's husband! also, i apologize if there are any spelling errors or if nagito is ooc. read 'till the end for an explanation, by the way!
Nagito is just chilling in his house, and by chilling, i mean sleeping. he has nothing else to do, since F/N is hanging out with the other ultimates, which he of course, doesn't mind. F/N wouldn't want an insect crawling on top of them, they were too much of perfection to be affected by such an ugly piece of garbage.
though, his sleep doesn't last. Nagito hears loud banging noises coming from his front door, so he gets out of bed, and walks to the door. the lucky student opens it, and there stands his significant other. how exciting! they've decided to visit trash like him when they could've been hanging out with the rest of the ultimates? Nagito has been blessed today, truly.
they're panting, and their hands are on their knees. as Nagito observers them more (as selfish as it is), he sees that they're soaking wet and their hood is up. Nagito is confused, and looks up at the sky.
oh, it's raining.
Nagito looks back at his beloved, and quickly apologizes and allows them inside. "ah, i'm sorry. i didn't see the rain, how useless of me." F/N heard his self-deprecation and paused. they looked up at him, and took his face into their hands. Nagito raised an eyebrow, not knowing just what his partner was doing.
"um, S/O? would you not prefer to be taking a shower, instead of a disgusti-" but before he could continue his self-hatred, F/N simply cut him off by pressing their lips against his, and this caught Nagito off-guard. even though they've been in a relationship for quite a while, his self-hatred is still so hard that he never expects the simple couple gestures. like holding each others hand, kissing, etc.
though, who is Nagito to deny the ultimate standing in front of him? so, he closes his eyes and returns the very, very, kind gesture. Nagito knows he's selfish for enjoying this, but he can't say no to his S/O, not in a million lightyears. they finish kissing, and Nagito is slightly disappointed. it ended too quickly, but he'd never force anything upon his beloved partner, he would rather go along with whatever they wanted.
F/N sighed, "geez, Nagito." they looked at the ground and sighed harder. "ugh.. sorry, i just couldn't stand it. y'know, the self-hatred and stuff." they looked up at him with disapproving eyes, and it made Nagito just want to hug them, but they surely wouldn't want an idiot like him doing such affection that would be too much for them.
"well, honey," the nickname that F/N gave him made him so happy, but to the ultimate [talent]s disappointment, he'd never called them any nickname, probably because of his belief that "he was undeserving of such a privilege." F/N continued, "could you clean this up? i'm sorry, but i feel like i'm just gonna cause more of a mess if i try cleaning this while being this wet." Nagito would've cut them off, but of course, he'd never do such a rude and disrespectful thing to his partner.
"o-of course! i'll do it right away, you may go up and take a shower." he responded, a little too glad to be cleaning up the dripping water, and F/N awkwardly chuckled. "well.. the water will most likely drop until i reach the bathroom, are you still going to clean it up?" they raised an eyebrow, and the lucky student blinked. why would they need to bother with asking such a question? Nagito would do anything to please his partner, even if it meant eating literal dog shit. so, Nagito replied, although his tone of voice was confused. "uh.. yes."
"oh. uh- alright. good luck," F/N turned around, and walked to the bathroom. they murmured under their breath, "though i'm sure you have plenty of that already."
ABOUT 30 MINUTES LATER..
Nagito went to his room, and he saw his significant other.. wearing his clothes? they were done putting on a pair of shorts, and turned around. F/N grinned, messing up their hair to seemingly imitate Nagito's. "i'm such an amazing lover, F/N loves me so, so much and i love them sooooo much!" they laughed, but stopped laughing as they realized the decision they made to mess up their hair.
"fuck."
Nagito smiled, "forgive me for asking but, why did you decide to wear my trashy clothing and what happened to your meeting with the ultimates?" F/N groaned, and flopped onto Nagito's bed. they gestured to go beside them, and he did as he was ordered. F/N rolled around in the bed, which was surprisingly big, and finally replied. "Well, one, i do forgive you, two, because i have no extra clothing, and three, the rain ultimately swept our ideas down the drain." they turned to their partner, who was nodding repeatedly.
"of course, how stupid of me. i should've expected that to be your answer." he looked down, so F/N couldn't see what expression he had on his face, but they shrugged internally and continued on. "well, we're gonna like, facetime and shit. it's the only option we have right now and i decided to stop by your house. it's not that far from mine, after all."
Nagito hummed, and it seemed like he was following along with what they were saying. he didn't look up until F/N asked him a certain question.
"would you like to join us?"
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A/N: *dies of death* did i write this on Samsung notes bc i had no internet? yes. did my motivation completely drain after i made this? most likely. am i dying? mentally, yes. anyway!! so it's like 12am and i'm still in the car omw home?? anyway hope you guys enjoy this!! this is short mostly bc i'm tired af. this will be edited and stuff when i'm back home on my laptop or something. what can i say except, you're welcome?????
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padme-amitabha · 3 years
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Anidala Week 2021
 Day 1: Missing Scene or Favorite Scene(s)
Anakin Skywalker could not take his eyes off the girl. He noticed her the moment he entered Watto’s shop, even before Watto said anything, and he hadn’t been able to stop looking at her since. He barely heard what Watto said to him about watching the shop. He barely noticed the strange-looking creature that had come in with her and was poking around in the shelves and bins. Even after she noticed he was staring at her, he could not help himself. He moved now to an open space on the counter, hoisted himself up, and sat watching her while pretending to clean a transmitter cell. She was looking back at him now, embarrassment turning to curiosity. She was small and slender with long, braided brown hair, brown eyes, and a face he found so beautiful that he had nothing to which he could compare it. She was dressed in rough peasant’s clothing, but she seemed very self-possessed. She gave him an amused smile, and he felt himself melting in confusion and wonder. He took a deep breath. 
“Are you an angel?” he asked quietly. The girl stared. “What?” 
“An angel.” Anakin straightened a bit. “They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They are the most beautiful creatures in the universe. They are good and kind, and so pretty they make even the most hardened space pirates cry like small children.” 
She gave him a confused look. “I’ve never heard of angels,” she said. “You must be one of them,” Anakin insisted. “Maybe you just don’t know it.” “You’re a funny little boy.” The amused smile returned.
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, looking upset and embarrassed. “I don’t fully understand, I guess. This is a strange world to me.” He studied her intently for a moment, thinking of other things, wanting to tell her of them. “You are a strange girl to me,” he said instead. He swung his legs out from the counter. “My name is Anakin Skywalker.” She brushed at her hair. “Padmé Naberrie.”
Both Anakin and Padmé were laughing now, and their laughter increased as they saw the look on the unfortunate creature’s long billed face. Anakin looked at Padmé and the girl at him. Their laughter died away. The girl reached up to touch her hair self-consciously, but she did not divert her gaze. “I’m going to marry you,” the boy said suddenly. There was a moment of silence, and she began laughing again, a sweet musical sound he didn’t mind at all. “I mean it,” he insisted. “You are an odd one,” she said, her laughter dying away. “Why do you say that?” He hesitated. ” I guess because it’s what I believe…” Her smile was dazzling. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t marry you..” She paused, searching her memory for his name. “Anakin,” he said. “Anakin.” She cocked her head. “You’re just a little boy.” His gaze was intense as he faced her. “I won’t always be…” he said quietly.”
— Terry Brooks, Star Wars : Episode I - The Phantom Menace
This is one of my favorite Anidala scenes ever because their story starts so sweetly. This scene is so unique to them and after watching the OT, it’s fascinating to see a young Darth Vader as a sweet and innocent child. His interactions as a slave boy with a young queen in disguise is also fits with the fairytale-ish tone and themes in Star Wars. Anakin and Padmé’s first meeting is just precious. 
This is probably the only time, Anakin and Padmé can be themselves without older figures telling them what to do. This is one of the few times Padmé is Padmé Naberrie - not Queen Amidala or Padmé Amidala. It’s interesting to see two young people from different social classes and vastly different cultures and worlds sharing a genuine moment of connection. 
I can add very little to this scene but Anakin proves he has enough clairvoyance (as Admiral Motti mocks him in ANH) to be certain he has met the girl he would marry someday. Even in TPM, little Anakin Skywalker is just as much a slave to Watto as he is to the Emperor in ANH. 
Even Padmé is somewhat surprised by his intensity at such an young age. Anakin also emphasizes on his identity as a person so this scene has dark undertones and references to Darth Vader.  
Another scene I love is the chilling visual parallels with Vader and Padmé in ROTS. The stark contrast between their “deaths” but also the similarities show that they are still connected even while their lives hang in balance. 
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Padmé gives birth to life and Anakin loses his humanity. She is in a well-lit medical facility and he is in a cold, dark one. Even their heartbeats are in sync as if they are connected via the Force (which could very well be true, since she was slightly force-sensitive from carrying the twins). 
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As the mask lowers on Vader, he whispers (since his vocal cords are badly burnt), “Padmé, help me” and Padmé, always on Anakin’s side, hears his plea and tries to tell that to Obi-Wan with her dying breath. It’s very likely that she heard him through the connection they shared like their connection during the ruminations scene and how Leia felt Luke in ESB and but she was unable to respond as she had given birth and probably lost the temporary force sensitivity. 
 As Anakin takes his first breath as Vader, Padmé takes her last. 
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Vader rises like Frankenstein’s monster and Sidious marvels at his new “creation”. Padmé dies all in white, like the angel Anakin believed her to be. The parallels are also reminiscent of the “Death and the Maiden” motif.
Anakin has always felt connected to Padmé since he met her and this is the last time he feels their connection. And that’s how he knows Padmé is truly dead and he has lost her forever.  
Even the chorus “I am a Sith Lord but I could not save her” (even though the lyrics are actually Sanskrit) is haunting. This is where the colors of the republic fade and the black and white symbolism of the empire begins. 
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Anakin is now Vader - more machine than man - and stands beside Sidious to assist him in building a tyrannical empire while Padmé dies and takes with her all the colors, love, laughter, cultural beauty, and freedom of the Republic era. Padmé was the personification of the Republic - a flawed but well-intended system and her death represents the democracy whereas Vader represents the Empire. 
Her funeral arrangement makes it seem like she’s drowning like Ophelia - implying that she’s returning to where she belongs. (Her planet Naboo is mostly associated with water and Padmé has often expressed her love for water and lakes in AOTC).
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Padmé dying of a broken heart is also fits in with the fairytale whereas Anakin finds himself in a very different world after he wakes up - a world where most of the Jedi had been slaughtered and the survivors were declared traitors, a world where democracy doesn’t exist anymore. And he finds himself kept alive my machinery and he cannot die like his beloved, even if he wishes to. He is now very much a part of the new empire - with his humanity and limbs lost - and he gradually accepts his role as the imperial enforcer. 
Anakin and Padme’s story comes to a conclusion here as their reverse arcs are completed. They have both come a long way since TPM and Padme’s experiences mold her into becoming more emotional and in touch with her feelings from the stoic, reserved Queen Amidala whereas Anakin’s dreams, compassion and search for his identity are lost as he becomes his master’s servant and becomes colder and more stoic. Padmé’s journey was to become more human and learning to put love and family over duty and transition from Amidala to Padmé as Anakin’s unfortunately was to become more inhuman and machine-like, from Anakin to Vader. 
These scenes are where the prequel trilogy ends and the originals begin. 
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ragingpancake · 3 years
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Another alien planet, another "ceremonial" wedding. Only they want Rodney to marry Ronon. Rodney's resigned to it (maybe even thinks it is a little funny). Ronin's rolling with it too. John isn't jealous. No siree! Not at all.
Sorry this took me so long to write! Thank you so much for sending in the prompt! <3 @exuberantocean
He’s not jealous. He’s not. What’s it to him if the Bheirats have decided that this is the perfect time and place to celebrate a marriage, just because, you know, they came through the ‘Gate and Ronon immediately scruffed Rodney to keep him from tripping over that stupid root.
And just because Rodney couldn’t stay on his own two feet, they’ve clearly decided that the reason they’ve come is to take part in their very secret ceremony and that Rodney has to be Ronon’s intended because, you know, Ronon kept him from chipping a tooth or spraining an ankle. John doesn’t care, no matter what Teyla keeps trying to communicate with her expressive eyebrows. But if he’s a little sullen as the Bheirats lead them into their village… well, that’s nobody’s business but his own. ---
“So, I think next time, we should probably, you know, weed out the planets with super secret wedding ceremonies,” Rodney says because this is their what, seventh one this year? He looks annoyed, though vaguely amused as a Bheirati woman tries (and miserably fails) to thread flowers through his hair. It’s their seventh one, but the first time Rodney’s been married to anyone but John. John’s not keeping count or anything like that, but it does think it says something that four out of those seven marriage ceremonies had Rodney marrying him, so suck it, Dex. Not that John cares. “You know, we could just… not go along with it,” he suggests and he mentally high fives himself for how not jealous he sounds, like he hasn’t got a care in the world. “You know we must take part in the ritual if we wish to trade with them, Colonel,” Teyla admonishes gently and John’s face screws up in a look of annoyance. “I just don’t think we should force Ronon to do anything he doesn’t want to do, that’s all,” John says and Ronon shrugs. “’m good with it,” he says and there’s a smirk that makes John think that maybe Ronon knows he’s not good with it, the traitorous bastard. “Hey,” Rodney says, hands flailing as the Bheirati woman finally gives up and instead plops a flower crown on Rodney’s head. “What do you mean if he doesn’t want to do it?! I’ll have you know, I’d make an excellent husband!” No one in the room agrees with that, but John grimaces. “Look, I’m just saying that we don’t have to get married on every damn planet with a ritual! That’s all.” “Uh huh,” Ronon says and he raises his eyebrow in what almost looks like a challenge. John absolutely does not like that look. “What did you tell me about weddings on your world? Someone has a chance to stand up and challenge the marriage, right? You wanna challenge?” “I didn’t say that. He’s all yours,” John retorts, because he has some dignity and is he imagining it or does Rodney’s face fall just a little? “Good,” Ronon answers and that smirk is back. He claps McKay roughly on the shoulder, enough to nearly knock him out of his seat before he squeezes gently. “Guess we’re doin’ this then.” “I guess we are.” --- It reminds him very much of this Catholic wedding he’d been forced to go to once, in that it drags on forever. John stands stoically beside Ronon, some version of a best man, while Teyla stands beside Rodney, hand never leaving his shoulder as if trying to soothe him. John, for his part, tries (and mostly fails) to keep his eyes ahead and not look at Rodney, but every so often, he glances over and meets Rodney’s eyes for a split second before the other glances away again. John wonders if maybe he has something on his face. That’s the only reason Rodney would keep looking at him like that. Right? --- “You know,” Teyla says much later that night while they’re all celebrating the marriage, “these things would go much more smoothly if you would just talk to Doctor McKay about your feelings.” John glances at her, eyebrow raised. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” She hums and John gets the distinct impression that if she had her bantos sticks, she’d beat the shit out of him for that. “Do you remember M3-X456?” “Yeah, the place that made you marry me. I remember.” “Mmhm,” Teyla responds, glancing over at where Rodney and Ronon are sitting, flower crown sitting atop of Ronon’s heavily dreaded hair where he’d plopped it earlier that night. “Rodney was very put out that the Drivots chose me to partake in the ceremony in place of him.” “What are you--…?” “I am simply saying that I do not think you are the only one who would’ve preferred to take Ronon’s place tonight.” She pats him gently on the shoulder. “I shall leave you to think on that one, Colonel.” But there’s nothing to think about, because clearly Teyla is mistaken. Rodney doesn’t--. That thought dies as he lifts his gaze and finds Rodney glancing over at him again. Huh. --- They make it back home without incident, save for Ronon’s major hangover that had him
puking up his guts in the gate room, but John thinks that it’s probably serves him right. An uncharitable thought, but a thought anyway. And it has nothing to do with jealousy! Nothing at all. Except maybe it does, just a little, and that can be the only explanation for why John calls Rodney to his office later that afternoon, looking supremely uncomfortable when the other arrives. “Listen,” he says, slouching against his desk, but he doesn’t get a chance for anything else before Rodney’s cutting him off. “No! You listen, Colonel! Just because I might not be your cup of tea doesn’t mean that others are incapable of noticing my charm and, and, and the fact that I might have more to offer than just my brain! Frankly, I’m offended that you think Conon wouldn’t want to marry me! What, do you think he’s too good for me?!” “What? Rodney, no, that’s--.” “Well! I’ll have you know that you were wrong! If anyone didn’t want to partake in that stupid ceremony, it was me! If these people are going to continue to force us into these damn things, we should at least get to choose who we marry!” And John stops short at that. “… who would you choose?” Rodney goes red at that. “No one. Absolutely no one. I have to go.” He turns and palms the door open but John stops him with a hand on his wrist. “Who would you choose, Rodney?” “… if you have to ask more than once, then you already know.” “Yeah,” John says and he tugs Rodney back to him, a hand on his shoulder to turn him around. “I’d choose you too, McKay.” John’s imagined before what it would be like to kiss Rodney, but never had he expected the butterflies and for a moment, it leaves him breathless. “Would you really?” Rodney asks when they finally break apart, blue eyes meeting hazel. “Absolutely,” John says, voice raspy, breathless even. “I mean, I’ve already married you on like, what, four other planets? I call dibs.” “You—what?” John kisses him again. “Dibs,” he murmurs against Rodney’s mouth. “But seriously, you think we can go back and get them to annul your marriage?” “You’re an idiot,” Rodney says, but there’s a fondness there. “Yeah,” John agrees. “Doesn’t hurt to check though, you know?” “Shut up and kiss me again, Sheppard.” John doesn’t need to be told twice.
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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 3 years
Text
Don't Forget ^**
This is such an emotional, fluffy, and romantic piece. OBVS in my feelings lol
WC: 3.8K
The week had been long, frustrating, and just complete and utter shit. Y/N was never one to “drown her sorrows” in alcohol, but when she got a last minute invite to go out with some friends she figured it was a sign. That’s how she found herself in a full face, a cute outfit, and some nice heels as she sat in the booth with her equally dressed up friends. They were talking about everything that was up with them and she was just listening. That was until her friend Ed slightly elbowed her.
“Hmmm?” She asked, turning towards him.
“I’m glad you decided to come out with us. S’been a while.” He said and she sighed and shrugged.
“I’ve been busy.” She explained and he looked at her knowingly.
“Okay, let’s call it “busy” since saying you’re the only one who RSVP’d for the self-pity party is not really an excuse that holds up.” He said and she rolled her eyes before huffing out a chuckle. “Really, Y/N. We’ve all been worried sick about how you’ve been, the least you can do is respond to us in a timely manner so we know you’re not rotting in your home.” He called her out and as angry as she wanted to be, he was right. She would say the same thing to any of her friends if they were going through something and had been MIA for a while.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She apologized with a frown.
“It’s okay, love. We love you and care about you, and like I get it if you need space, but just say it. You’re going through a lot, we won’t be upset at you. We just want you to know that you don’t have to do it all alone.” He reminded and she nodded with a soft smile as he wrapped his arms around her.
Here’s the thing, it’s been nearly two months since she and Harry broke up. Their relationship had blossomed from a lovely friendship into an adoration that was unlike anything she had ever known. She believed deep in her heart that he was the man for her. That they would make it through anything. Judging by the way that she loved him, she didn’t think she had ever truly loved anyone before him. It felt that she was experiencing everything for the first time with him and it was the most beautiful thing. She let herself free fall because she had faith that he’d be there to catch her. She truly thought that things were going well, sure he was busy, but he had always been a busy person and she understood that his job was a priority. It was completely unexpected when after a lovely evening at her place he broke up with her because “it wasn’t working”. She had so many questions for him and somehow she hadn’t been able to do anything except watch him walk out the door and out of her life. Naturally, she’d lost a lover and a friend, a good one at that. So things were empty without him and the hurt in her heart was consuming her. She noticed how the pain she felt bled into her work, into her relaxing time, into her dreams even. When you feel shit tons of pain you tend to isolate and she’d been guilty of that, obviously.
With so much on her mind and on her heart, it was only natural that she insist to her friends that she was fine when she’d order yet another drink. Or when she agreed on a shot with two other friends. And soon enough she felt the world spinning when she’d blink her eyes closed for a moment. And that was followed by feeling her smiles and laughter melting down into a large lump in her throat that was getting impossible to swallow down. She missed Harry. He always knew what to say when she felt stressed or frustrated. He was the calm to the storm raging on in her life and she thought that she was the same for him. Apparently she was wrong.
“I need t’go home. M’drunk and sleepy.” Y/N mumbled to her friend.
“Yeah, I agree.” Her friend confirmed, “Do you need me to call you a car or something?”
“No, I already did it, the driver’s outside. S’a girl too.”
“Okay, please text when you arrive.”
“Yeah, f’course. Love you guys!” She said loudly to the others and walked off.
The driver, Sasha, greeted her as soon as she slid into her car. She confirmed the address Y/N was going to before driving off. She could tell Y/N was plastered and so she toned down the conversation and turned up the radio. Just then “Adore You” started playing over the speakers and Y/N’s eyes welled up at the sound of Harry’s voice.
“Sorry, Sasha?”
“Yeah?”
“I need to go somewhere else.” Y/N hiccuped and Sasha nodded. She gave Sasha Harry’s address and confirmed it before she changed her mind. She felt hurt and angry and she held onto the emotions for dear life. She let them fester until hot tears were streaking down her face as they approached his home.
“It’s here?” Sasha asked as she stopped in front of a gate.
“Yes, this’s it. Thank you.” Y/N mumbled before clumsily clambering out of the car and wobbling over to the keypad.
She waved goodbye to the driver who slowly peeled away and left Y/N in the dark. Her finger hovering over the keypad, debating whether this was a good idea or not. “Fuck it.” She whispered to herself as she shivered in the cold and punched in the code to get onto the property. The walk was a little far, she ended up taking off her heels and could faintly feel that she was being hurt by the gravel of the path to the home, but she didn’t care. Everything was dark and she hoped he was home, if not this would all be for nothing. She made her way to the front door and rang the doorbell. When there was no answer she rang it a few more times, he was a heavy sleeper. Soon she saw a light come on in the upstairs hallway and she glanced into the “Ring” camera and waved her hand.
“S’me. Open the fucking door please.” She slurred. After a few more moments she heard the locks clicking and there was Harry, obviously tired, in just his boxers, and slightly shivering from the cold temperature making its way into his home through the opening of the door.
“Y/N,” he said as he took her in, face tear-stained because of her mascara and her feet bare. She was evidently drunk,“What are you-“
“I’ve had the shittiest week n’I just need you t’hold me.” She whimpered quietly as her voice cracked as a fresh wave of tears poured from her eyes.
“Yeah.” He said pulling her inside and closing the door before he wrapped his arms around her. He felt his entire body calm at the familiarity of her body against his, of knowing that no matter what shitty thing was going on, she felt safe with him. But despite his positive feelings, he soon felt her body trembling against his before she gasped as she started sobbing. Her tears were wetting his chest and he just squeezed her a little tighter.
She hoped she would feel better being in his arms, but all it did was make her hurt even more. She could feel the pain pulsing from her heart and down her arms and to her fingertips. She could feel it twisting her insides and making her throat burn as she attempted to hold back any more tears. She loves him so much, she doesn’t know how she could ever get past this. She was glad that he was just letting her cry.
“What happened?” He asked quietly and she started crying harder, “Tell me, baby. You can tell me anything, you know that.” He said softly as he petting at her hair gently.
“Y-you broke my heart and s’just not getting better.” She sobbed and he felt his heart shatter as she fell apart in his arms. All of a sudden she was breaking from his hold, almost as if she realized where she was and just how pathetic this situation was, “I shouldn’t ‘ave come here.” She mumbled before hurrying off and opening up the door and rushing out into the cold. It all happened so fast, but she slipped on the steps up to the house and soon found herself on her hands and knees on the ground, cursing up a storm as she tried to lift herself up. He rushed out despite the cold.
“Y/N!”
“M’fine.” She muttered as she tried to push herself to stand. He hurried to grab her hands and frowned.
“Are you alright?” He asked with concern. She shook off her hands and knees, ignoring the sting from the scrapes.
“M’fine. Sorry for coming here, Harry.” She said stepping around him and heading away.
“Y/N!” He called after her.
“What?”
“You’re not okay.” He said.
“Obviously not. But also, you’re the one who did this to me, so makes no sense to be back here again.” She continued to slur.
“Then why would you come?”
“Because I miss you, Harry! I fucking miss you and I’m drowning in the pain and I just- I wanted to see you.” She sniffled and tears were running down his face now as well, “I thought that maybe seeing you would make me feel better but it just makes me feel hollow and broken and stupid for thinking that you missed me too.” She shouted.
He did miss her. So fucking much. He didn’t break up with her because the love ran out. On the contrary, the love he felt for her was so great that seeing her this way made him feel sick. He ended things with her because he literally has no time for her and he hates that. He hates canceling on her all the time, he hates not being able to talk consistently, he hates not being able to have her around all the time, he hates the idea of pretending she’s not a real person for the sake of his public persona, when in reality the smile he wore everyday was there merely because she existed.
“Why would you think I don’t miss you?” He asked sadly and she scoffed.
“You dumped me, remember? Y'said it wasn’t working.”
“It was a bad decision. I was being stupid.” He shook his head and Y/N glanced at him with anger burning through her veins now.
“You broke up with me because you were “being stupid”?” She asked in disbelief and he sighed sadly.
“Can we go inside and talk about this?”
“You know what? Fuck this, Harry.” She mumbled, realizing what had actually happened. The cold and the anger were clearing her fogged up mind rather quickly.
“What? Why?”
“You couldn’t talk about it when you were feeling how ever you were feeling two months ago and now you can?” She asked with a pained look in her eyes.
“Y/N, you know how I can get-”
“That’s not even a good excuse!” She scoffed, “We’re adults, Harry! Adults who can communicate and explain and argue and hold each other accountable!”
“I just hate the way things are all the time! I can’t talk, I can’t see you, I can hardly go out with you… hate doing that to you!” He said with a grimace and watering eyes and she frowned.
“Look, we talked about that when we decided to get together. Remember? You sat me down, took my hands, and told me that it wouldn’t be easy. Yes or no?” She asked and he nodded, “I know what I signed up for, Harry. Had I complained? Had I done anything to indicate that I was unhappy?” She asked and he shook his head, “Then why would you make that decision for me?” She asked and he shook his head and shrugged.
“I don’t know…” his voice faded into a pained whisper.
“Yes you do. You know more than I would know and quite frankly, I don’t want to be guessing anymore.” She said, “Why did you make that decision for me?” She asked once more and he almost shouted at her.
“Because I’m afraid I’m not enough!” He confessed as he cried, “I’m afraid that I’m not enough for you to stay with me.” In a second she was holding him tight as they cried. Both shivering from the cold, but still wrapped around each other. It was his turn to cry over facing a fear he had, a fear he’s had forever. He knew what it was, but never wanted to confront it.
“Hey, s’alright.” She whispered against his chest, “Let’s go inside.”
“So now you want to go inside…” he sniffled and she giggled a bit.
“We can’t have you getting a cold, C’mon.” She said pulling him back inside. They settled down on the couch where she wrapped him and then herself in the throws he had folded over a rack against the wall of the living room.
“M’sorry.” He apologized quietly and she took his hand, making him look up at her, their eyes meeting.
“I forgive you.” She assured and he glanced down from her and to their connected hand, tightening his hold on her.
“I don’t deserve you.” He said softly.
“Don’t say that. Y’know it’s not true.” She said and he sighed.
“Feels like that sometimes.” He said, looking into her eyes again.
“Sometimes our feelings can lie to us.” She said quietly, “And sometimes when we aren’t feeling 100% secure in ourselves we believe them, but that’s human, H. That can happen sometimes… you are the most logical man sometimes and then other times you just… become blind to reason.” She giggled a bit and he did the same, “But I fucking love you. Every part of you.” She stated firmly, “Even the parts that don’t make sense to me yet.” She expressed, holding his face now with her other hand and he leaned into her touch.
“I love you too, Y/N. With my whole heart.” He assured in a small voice as their foreheads connected. Their eyes were closed and they were breathing each other’s air, basking in the intimacy of the exchange they’d just had.
“Can I kiss you?” She asked.
“Are you still drunk?” He asked and she huffed on a chuckle.
“Kind of.”
“I just don’t want you to regret it in the morning.” He said and she shook her head.
“Could never regret anything that happens between us.”
“Even me breaking up with you?” He asked and she shook her head.
“No, because that lead to this moment and now I know what you’re afraid of. And that taught me that I need to reassure you that I am happy with you and that I want to move forward with you.” She explained.
“Are you sure you’re still drunk? You’re being really wise.” He observed and they both giggled a bit.
“I’ve gotten wiser. I’ve done a lot of self-reflection the last two months.” She said and he smiled, “But despite that the room does feel like it’s moving a bit and my hands and knees don’t hurt as much as they should from falling down your stairs…” she said and he chuckled.
“How about we get you cleaned up?” He asked.
“I think I could use a shower actually. Do you still have my bathrobe?”
“Yeah, s’still in the bathroom.” He said and she smiled.
*********
The shower not only served for her to disinfect her superficial wounds, but it helped her sober up a bit and reflect on the conversation she’d just had with Harry. Where did they stand now? What did this mean for their relationship? When she emerged from the steams glass walls she wrapped herself in the robe and smiled when she saw a shirt and some boxers on the counter for her. She got all ready for bed and was more than happy that he had kept her toothbrush, that had to mean there was hope for them, right? She was just drying off the bristles when she heard a tap on the door and she hurried to open it up.
“Yeah?”
“I made up the guest room for you in case you wanted to stay there.” He said and she bit on her lip for a moment.
“D-do you want me to stay in the guest room?” She asked him.
“No, but you can if you want to.” He said as he reached for her hands and she let their fingers intertwine.
“I don’t want to.” She confirmed and he smiled.
“Do you still feel drunk?” He asked and she shook her head, “Good.” He said, moving to pull her close by her face and planting his lips onto hers. Their kiss was soft and hungry. It was getting more intense as the seconds passed. The need to prove to her that he loved her was at the forefront of his mind.
In moments he was laying her against his bed, keeping their bodies close since she was a little cold from just getting out of the shower. It was like a breath of fresh air when they slipped off her bathrobe and her naked body pressed against his. The intention of his actions against her warm and soft skin were very clear. He was being so gentle and purposeful with the way his lips roamed down her throat and breasts. He lived for the way she’d moan out against the ceiling and dig her nails into his shoulders as he sucked and nibbled at the hardened peaks of her nipples. And his mouth watered when he was sponging sloppy, wet kisses down her navel, making his way to the most delicious part of her.
“Oh my god!” She gasped as he ate her little cunt to the best of his abilities. Knowing that he was the one bringing her this pleasure was the most satisfying thing of all. Knowing that despite his many flaws and mistakes, she wanted to be there with him. She chose to share her body with him. She chose to love him. He didn’t let up as his fingers sunk into her and pumped her at a steady pace as his tongue worked over her swollen little bud, “I’m so close!” She whined and he worked harder until her thighs were attempting to squeeze his head and trembling around him.
“Fuck… missed making you come for me.” He panted as he kissed his way back up her body. She sought out his mouth desperately. They kissed eagerly and passionately, technique was the last thing they were thinking about as they tried to get close.
“I want you. I want you so bad.” She moaned against his lips.
“I want you too.” He assured, already rutting against her center.
Overall, this night felt perfect as their lips met once more in a deep and sensual kiss as his length prodded against her entrance. She whimpered as he gently fit himself inside of her, both of them heating up the minimal space between their faces with their long exhales and sounds of pleasure as he settled deep inside. He hadn’t moved, but feeling him this way again was sending her mind into a loopy mess. And when he finally did move back she braced herself for the sharp thrust of his hips against her own. It’s like every thrust had both of their worlds collapsing in on each others’.
He knew very well that he was making love to her in a way he never had before. The way her body felt beneath his and around his stirred a feeling in him that no words could ever describe. It was a feeling of warmth and acceptance and care that he had never felt before. His whole heart was there with her and her pleasure was his pleasure. Watching her, hearing her reactions to how he was making her his once again was something he would want to relive forever. He was overwhelmed and pressed their lips together in a fiery kiss. He swallowed down her moans and felt them echo in his own chest as his thrusts became harder and more precise, really giving it to her in that spot deep inside that would surely cause her to unravel for him.
“Harry…” she panted, holding him just a bit tighter as her walls squeezed around his cock.
“I love you.” He exhaled against her mouth, “Love you so much.” He whispered, feeling his eyes start to prickle with tears for some reason. As much as he wanted to hold them back, this felt far too incredible and far too intimate to ward them off. He was set on showing her that she indeed was everything to him. He was more than relieved to know it wasn’t just him as he tasted the saltiness from her own tears as their lips met over and over, “Come for me, baby.” He groaned. She moaned softly as he thrust into her faster until her legs squeezed around his hips so tight he could feel them trembling.
“Oh my god!” She choked out as she came undone. Feeling her body reacting to his own was what pushed him over the edge. His thrusts grew sloppy and uncalculated before he drew himself out of her quickly and spilled against her folds with a drawn out moan and eyes shut so tight that upon opening them he saw little colorful spots. In a second their lips were meeting again delicately in a series of kisses until they were just panting against each other’s mouths, trying to catch their breaths.
After another few moments of lazing around he got her cleaned up and in one of his t-shirts before they were cuddled together. Her leg was draped over his own and her head was to his chest as her fingers tickled at his bare chest and well, he just held her as close to him as possible, more than sure that this was her rightful place. This caused him to plant a kiss at the top of her head and she smiled.
“Babe,” she said softly and he hummed in response. Soon she was facing him, eyes on his, taking in his face, making sure he was really listening to her, “Please, don’t forget.” she sniffled.
“Don’t forget what, baby?” He asked sitting up and hugging her body into his. She drew back until they were forehead to forehead.
“Don’t forget how much I love you. Because I promise you it’s with the entirety of my heart and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to show you.” She said softly and he just kissed her with all the passion he felt for her. Their lips parted with a soft sound and he shook his head.
“I won’t. I promise.”
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jojothaho · 3 years
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𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 | 𝚔. 𝚛𝚢𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚓𝚒 | 𝚖. 𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚘 | 𝚜. 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚖𝚊
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! ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅᴇʀ : ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ.
! ᴡᴏʀᴅᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ : 835
! ᴛᴡ : ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ, ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ.
Draken - Stress
You couldn't remember the last time you got a proper night of rest. You had too many overdue assignments to take care of. The editorial company you worked for had gotten quite busy lately; Stacks of documents lined your dining room table and emphasized your stress. That table would probably never see the light of day again- or at least not anytime soon.
Not only was it taking its toll on you, but it was also taking a toll on your husband. Draken missed you, he missed being able to hold you in bed all day, your bodies tangled together lazily between the sheets. Nowadays, it was only around the hours of 5-7 am when you crawled into bed, freezing and exhausted, only to get up and work an hour later.
It was one of those nights, morning, actually, When Draken found you balled up at your desk, the light of your laptop a stark contrast from the darkness of the room. He tapped your shoulder, and when you didn't respond he sighed. Falling asleep out here again? You would be mad at him for not waking you up, but he could deal with that later. What he couldn't deal with was sleeping another night without you beside him.
He laid you in the bed and wrapped his arms around you, wincing when he felt how cold you were. Had they always been this cold? You would snuggle into his arms, half asleep, and whisper, "I'll take a break soon baby." His heart clenched at your exhausted ramblings, and he placed his forehead on yours. "I know you will baby."
Mikey - Night terrors
You sucked in a shaky breath, shivers erupting all over the surface of your skin and beads of sweat forming on the cold skin of your forehead. Painful visions flashed across your mind, reminding you of everything he put your family through. The sheer thought of it caused you to tremble in fear and rage, and soon the memories got too much for you to handle. You shook uncontrollably, tears spilling over your lashes and down your cheeks.
Seconds later, as if on cue, Mikey was by your side, comforting you and gently stroking your head. "It's alright, Y/n, I'm here. I'm right here," he cooed into your ear. After what felt like hours in his embrace, you calmed down, catching your breath and regaining your senses.
It seemed like your night terrors were only getting worse, this night, it had only been an hour before you woke. But Mikey was always there for you; He understood your trauma, and never blamed you for it. "I'm sorry, I woke you up, I-" "Shh, It's not your fault, Y/n." He kissed your forehead, and you both stayed like that for a few minutes, encased in each other's embrace.
"I'll go make you some tea." You caught his wrist before he could go, "no, I don't want tea, I just need you Mikey. Please don't go." It almost broke his heart to hear you so sad. Did you really think he would ever leave you? He sat back down and kissed the top of your head. "I'll never leave you, Y/n. All I want is for you to be okay."
Hanma - Depression
The depression hits you hardest at 4:33 am, and there you were, buried in the overly fluffy covers of your bed. You loved the plushness, it was of the many comforts that made you feel okay. That's why Hanma got it for you. He was aware of your depression, so he didn't hesitate to buy you anything and everything you wanted.
But you always felt guilty. You knew he tried so hard for you, but you couldn't even meet him halfway. Some weeks, he wouldn't sleep at all, just ot hold you through the night. But the exhaustion was getting to him, it was so bad he even had to take a break from work. But here, even on his break he was still up late, or early, just to make sure you wouldn't feel alone. What did I ever do to deserve him?
You were so absorbed in your self-deprecating thoughts, you failed to notice your lover, laying parallel to you. "Why can't you just be happy? You have no reason to feel bad?" Hanma's voice faltered, his facade cracking with every second he saw your pitiful face. "Am I not enough to keep you happy?" He draped his arm over your side, watching your expressions with scrutiny.
"I'll get better, I promise." Your guilt was overwhelming you and plummeting you further into your depression. "Why do you even stay with me, Hanma? I'm such a pitiful thing." Hanma wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you into his chest, so tightly you could barely breathe. "I know." He squeezed you even tighter then, as if he was scared you were going to disappear. "But I wouldn't stay with you unless I really loved you."
Written for a request
-joxllx3 </33
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scuttling · 3 years
Text
Impure
Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina Original Female Character Word Count: 4,557 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Priest kink, Religion, Confessional, Masturbation, Vaginal fingering, Oral sex, Unprotected sex, Somehow also sweet Summary: Hotch is a hot priest and steamy, smutty stuff happens. That's it, that's the fic. Note: This is a reformatted, previously published work. Link to A03 or read below! When Sophie Cortes moves to Whitehall, Virginia in the hopes of starting over, she expects it to be difficult. Removed completely from her family, her friends, the job she loved, and the only way of life she’s known for 28 years—it’s hard, and she prays for strength every day for a week before she passes a small Catholic church on her way to the post office. She hadn’t noticed it before, and she smiles, makes a vow to attend mass the following Sunday, and feels for the first time in a long time like God might actually be on her side.
She feels that way for a very, very short time, because the moment she lays eyes on the priest—Father Aaron Hotchner, the sign by the door says—she realizes she’s doomed.
He is not at all what she’d expected in this sleepy, pseudo-Southern town, in that he is hot like burning: he’s in his forties, tall, and kind of beefy, actually, with arms that fill out his clerical shirt a little too well, and a handsome face, dark hair, a kind smile. She takes a seat in the back, the first week she attends, but when he looks out at the congregation, she feels like his eyes are on her and only her. It makes her sweat more than the July heat, and she wets her lips, feels every bit the sinner she is.
The second week isn’t any better, or the third, fourth, fifth. Each time, she enters hopeful and leaves a horny, desperate mess. The sixth week, she confesses.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been... a while since my last confession. I’m new to town—you probably haven’t even noticed me—and I’m trying to start a new life. I was taking a walk around the neighborhood, and I found your little church, and I thought maybe it was God’s way of trying to help me on my journey.”
“It was. He brought you here for a reason,” Father Hotchner says through the lattice of the confessional booth, and Sophie exhales, leans her head back.
“No, Father. It wasn’t God who led me here, it was the Devil himself.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because the moment I saw you standing there, tall, strong, your hands wrapped around the edges of the pulpit, I began having impure thoughts, and they haven’t gone away. The moment I step foot in those doors, my core aches; I try to rub discreetly against the pew for some relief, but there are too many people around me, so I just sit there, hot and swollen, dripping wet, listening to your voice. When I kneel, I kneel for you, not God.” She breathes slowly, in and out of her nose, tries to calm herself down. “You talk about sin, Father, and while you do my body begs for yours; sometimes you pause to swallow, and I watch your throat, and I wonder if that’s you feeling me wanting you.” He is quiet for a moment before speaking again.
“You are right: Lustful thoughts are the work of the Devil. But you can overcome them.”
“I can’t, Father. I’ve tried. I’ve prayed for God’s guidance. I’ve been coming here for six weeks, and each time I see you I crave the touch of your hand, your mouth on my body. I always leave quickly when your sermon is over, because if you saw me, flushed, my nipples hard, my eyes wide, you would know what I’ve been thinking, Father, and I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You were made by God in His image. You couldn’t disappoint me.”
“It doesn’t disappoint you to know I’m thinking of it right now? Of how the only thing between us is this partition, and how if I could get into your lap, maybe I could rub myself to climax, feel your hands on my hips, urging me on, until we both come, here in His house? Because that’s all I can think about, Father.” Tears well up in her eyes, but his voice is soothing.
“That’s okay. It’s alright. I’m not disappointed. I can help you through this.”
“How? Please tell me how, Father. I’ll do anything.”
“First, I want you to recite the Act of Contrition each morning. I want you to talk to God and tell Him you’re sorry, and then I want you to forgive yourself.”
“Forgive myself?” The idea seems insane, after everything she’s confessed to him.
“Yes. You deserve compassion as a child of God. And you should give yourself credit, for despite the heat of your flesh, you haven’t acted on your impure thoughts. God will have mercy because of your resistance. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes, Father. Thank you, Father.”
“Good. May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen.” Sophie leaves, and her hands are trembling. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been a week since my last confession. I’m not sure you’ll remember me…” The priest shifts a little, Sophie can see it through the barrier that separates them.
“I remember you. Have you forgiven yourself? Have you spoken to God?”
“I’ve tried, Father. I’ve done my penance, I’ve prayed, but I’m still so weak. Today, I watched a bead of sweat drip down your neck, and I wanted to run my tongue over it, follow it into your clothes and taste you, warm and salty. I’m soaked and throbbing even now, just recalling how my body reacted. It hurts.” He swallows hard.
“I’m sorry you are in pain, both mental and physical. But with God, you are strong. With God, nothing is impossible. You will get through this.”
“I didn’t just have impure thoughts this week, Father. I—I touched myself, and I imagined it was your hand. Your fingers inside me, filling me. I came to the thought of you, Father. Will I be forgiven?”
“God forgives you, and I forgive you.” She closes her eyes tightly, sighs.
“Thank you, Father. What is my penance?”
“I want you to spend one hour a day sitting on your bed, completely still and silent. I want you to think of all of the blessings God has given you, all of the ways He has made you strong. I also want you to donate your hands to a good cause; you know the nursing home on Fifth Avenue is always looking for volunteers. Maybe, if your hands are occupied doing God’s work, the temptation to use them in an impure manner will leave you.”
“Thank you, Father. I will.”
“May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen.” “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been a week since my last confession.”
“Have you done your penance, my girl?”
“Yes, Father. I meditated and volunteered until I was so exhausted each night that I fell right to sleep.”
“And what was the outcome? Do you feel better?” She feels shame for what she is about to say.
“I didn’t think of you, but I dreamed of you.”
“What did you dream about?”
“I dreamed of laying beneath you, Father. I dreamed of being taken by you. I dreamed of you filling me up with come and whispering in my ear that it was God’s will.” The priest exhales deeply.
“Did you have the same dream every night?”
“No, Father. One night I dreamed of kneeling to pray, but then taking you into my mouth, performing an act of service on you. You came in my mouth and gave me five Hail Mary’s for worshipping at an altar that was not God’s.”
“Is there more?”
“Yes, Father. I dreamed of your head between my legs, tasting me. I called out your name in pleasure, and you held me tightly and pushed your tongue inside me until I cried, it felt so good. Then you spilled on my skin and—and praised me for fulfilling my duty to God.” His voice is soft when he responds.
“I think it may be time for private counseling.”
“Here at the church, Father?”
“Yes, with me. Once a week.”
“Father, I don’t know if—” She can barely look at him without moaning; how can he expect her to be counseled in his office, just feet from him… alone?
“Trust me. I will help you talk to God. We will find a way to remove these impure thoughts from your mind so you can live in God’s image as intended.”
“Yes, Father, thank you, Father.”
“May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen.” “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been a week since my last confession.”
“You didn’t come to counseling.” He sounds disappointed, and she takes a trembling breath.
“No, Father. I’m sorry. You were giving communion, and I opened my mouth for you, and you placed the body of Christ on my tongue, and I… Forgive me, Father. I went into the bathroom and I touched myself. I couldn’t face you after that.”
“You touched yourself… here?” Shame makes her face heat, her eyes water.
“Yes, Father, I’m so sorry. I tried to resist, I did.”
“Did you have an orgasm?”
“Yes, Father. A strong one. That’s the closest you’ve gotten to me, and I couldn’t help the way my body reacted.”
“It’s okay. God forgives you, and I forgive you. Please come to counseling this week, no matter what.”
“Yes, Father. What is my penance?”
“Five Our Fathers, and I want you to wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you think of me. Maybe the pain will be a reminder to keep your thoughts pure.”
“I will, Father, thank you.”
“May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen.” “Father Hotchner. My name is Sophie Cortes, I…” He stands from his desk, nods stoically.
“I know. Please, have a seat,” he says, gesturing to two armchairs in the corner of the room, and when she perches on one, smoothing her sundress beneath her, he takes the other. His eyes linger on her legs, and she instantly feels shame for the way she’s dressed, even though she’d felt confident and beautiful when she left the house. “You’re here because of impure thoughts that won’t go away. We’ve tried meditation, and service, and praying, but nothing seems to be working. I see you’ve been wearing the rubber band.” He nods to her wrist, and she swallows.
“Yes, Father, but I’m sorry, it’s complicated things further.”
“How so?” he asks with a tilt of his head. It’s so much harder for her to concentrate now that she can see him, now that he’s more than just a shadowy figure in the confessional box. And so close...
“It turns out, I find pleasure in the sting. It’s made me imagine other pleasurable, painful things.”
“Such as?” She sighs deeply, feels dirty, hopes it won’t make him look at her differently.
“Receiving spanking as penance, Father. Your strong hands hitting my thighs and behind until I’m a panting, dripping mess, begging for God’s forgiveness, and yours.” He wets his lips, leans in a little closer.
“Do you think that would help?” She can smell his after-shave, just like she could at communion, and she shifts in her seat, crosses her legs.
“I don't think so, Father. I would… want you even more, afterward.” He nods, pushes a hand through his dark hair.
“I’ll admit, I’ve been struggling, trying to decide how to go about counseling you. I’ve thought of reading scripture to you...” She squeezes her legs together, knows that wouldn’t work. She would only be turned on more, and that’s part of why she feels so messed up in the head. “I’ve thought of kneeling beside you, praying with you, your hands in mine, so we can talk to God together.” Her breath comes quickly at the thought, and he shakes his head. “I don’t think any of that will solve your problem, though, do you?”
“I don’t know, Father. I don’t—I don’t think so.”
“I think there’s only one thing that will help you, Miss Cortes, and I want you to know I don’t recommend this lightly. I have spent many nights talking to God about you.”
“You have?”
“Yes. And I remembered that sometimes, rules aren’t one-size-fits-all. Sometimes, we are allowed to bend them, in the right circumstances, and I think this situation is one of those circumstances.” He sits back in his chair, and he’s breathing heavily too, she notices. “Come here.”
Her mind goes abruptly blank.
“Come… there?” she asks, and he swallows, nods.
“Yes. In my lap. If you want to.” She wants to—that’s the whole reason she’s here—and he’s telling her she can, so she stands, takes a shaky breath, and settles on his thighs. He runs his hands carefully over her legs, then up her arms, caresses her cheeks. “Is this okay?”
“Yes,” she answers, breathless, and he slides his hands down her throat, over her breasts, and she moans at the touch.
“I think the only way to resolve the problems you’re having, Miss Cortes, would be to satisfy you. To give you what you’ve been thinking of since the first time you entered my church. Do you want me to do that?”
“Yes, Father.” She closes her eyes, and he gently cups her breasts, squeezes them in his hands. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip.
“Give me a Hail Mary,” he says, and she would do anything he asks in that tone of voice. She nods.
“Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee.” His hands move to her waist, and she sighs. “Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.” His hands move to her thighs, and he pushes up her dress, rubs them up until his fingers meet the hem of her panties. She swallows hard. “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.”
“Amen. Another,” he instructs gently, and he rubs his fingers against the soaked crotch of her panties, earning a soft moan.
“Hail Mary Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.” He pushes her panties to the side, his fingers gliding over her aching, wet heat, and she moans again, recites faster. “Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”
“Amen,” he says, breathless. He guides a finger inside her and she skims her own hands along her body, trembles in his grasp. “Another.”
“Hail Mary Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb—Jesus,” she sighs, when he slips another finger inside, and his other hand rests on her ass, putting pressure there, encouraging her to move. She lifts her hips and sinks back down against his hand, and he wets his lips, blows out a long, measured breath.
“Keep going, Miss Cortes.”
“Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.” She gasps, grips the arms of the chair with her fingers and rides his hand, looking down into his deep, dark eyes. He squeezes her ass.
“Good girl. I want you to come on my fingers. You’ve imagined them inside you—does this feel better?”
“Yes, Father.” She rides faster, moaning, and he fists her dress in his hand, lifts it so he can watch her take him in, which makes her shiver. “Oh, please.”
“What is it? What do you need?” he asks, dropping her dress to touch her cheek.
“Another finger, Father? Please?” His brow furrows, determined, and he adds another; she pumps her hips four times, whines, and comes, clutching his shirt at his shoulders. When she’s spent, she sags against him, panting, and he holds her close, rubs a hand up and down her back.
“That was perfect. You did exactly what I wanted. Are you alright?”
“Yes, thank you, Father,” she murmurs, sitting up in his lap, and though she would love to kiss him, or run her fingers through his hair, she’s fairly certain that’s not what this is.
He offers her a tissue to clean up, slides his fingers out carefully and cleans them off as well, and she sits back in her own chair, legs crossed again. He looks at her seriously, leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
“I hope that helps you, Miss Cortes. I know you don’t want to have those impure thoughts.”
“No, Father. Thank you, I… I hope so too.” He nods, takes her hands in his, closes his eyes.
“May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen.” He opens his eyes.
“I’ll take your confession Sunday, and then see you for counseling next week. We’ll see how you feel then.”
“Okay. Thank you again.” They both stand, and he walks her to the door; his eyes linger on her face, and she ducks her head, walks down the hall.
That night, she dreams of hands on her hips, holding her down, and helping her move. She wakes to a puddle in her panties. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last confession.” She knows she sounds tired when she speaks, and he sighs at the sound of her voice.
“Tell me your sins, Miss Cortes,” he says low. She shivers.
“It didn’t work, Father. If anything, I think it made it worse. I dreamed of you again.”
“I dreamed of you, too.” She sits in silence, shocked, and her heart races. “Did you know I make house calls? For counseling. If a member of the congregation is in need.” She hums, shifts where she sits.
“I didn’t know that, Father. I might… I think that might help me. Will you have time tonight?”
“Yes. I can be there around seven, if that works for you. We can try again.” She gasps softly, presses her thighs together.
“Yes, please, Father.”
“Okay. Five Hail Mary’s for me, Miss Cortes. May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
“Amen.” When Father Hotchner arrives at her apartment that night, he looks like a completely different man—all because of his eyes. They are smoldering, stormy, and the way they sweep over her body when she invites him in, offers him coffee… It makes her mouth water.
She pours a cup for each of them, but they never get a chance to drink it, because he takes her face in his hands and kisses her deeply, passionately, leaving her breathless. When the kiss breaks, she walks them back to the bedroom, and his broad hands grope at her, pulling her dress over her head and tugging her close for another kiss.
“Sophie,” he murmurs, and she puts her hands on his belt, fingers on the clasp.
“Please, Father, may I?” He nods, kisses her again, and she opens it, then his pants, and he guides her back against the bed; he begins at her throat, kissing her hot and wet, and he trails his mouth down her body, over her breasts, her stomach, down to her panties. He mouths at her soaked core, and she moans, arches up off the bed. “Oh, yes.”
He looks up at her, eyes hooded with lust, and he guides her panties off, presses his lips against her pussy in a deep kiss. He flicks his tongue a little, so she’s squirming, whining, and then slides back up her body to lick at her throat. “You taste like sin,” he whispers in her ear, and the moan that passes her lips is pornographic and filthy.
“Forgive me, Father,” she pants in return, touching his throat while he kisses her, and his hands press hard against her waist.
“No need, my girl. This is what God wants—I wouldn’t have dreamed of you if it wasn’t.”
She’s not entirely sure that’s how it works, but she’s not about to argue, not when he’s crawling back down to eat her pussy like it’s a feast he can’t resist, his hands on her thighs spreading her open for a gentle but unrelenting tongue.
“Oh, yes. Yes, right there, please,” she whimpers, and when her hands fall to his shoulders, he picks them up and puts them on his head, encouraging her to tug at his hair. She tips her throat back, moans, and tightens her fingers there, so his tongue is focused just where she wants him, and when she comes she comes wildly, arching up off the bed and clutching his head and nearly screaming her pleasure.
He kisses a path back up her body while she catches her breath, sinking back against the bed, and his tongue in her mouth is hot and dirty, tasting of her. It makes her head swim.
“Can I press inside you, Sophie? Can I make love to you and come inside you like you dreamed?” Her eyes nearly roll back in her head.
“Oh, yes, please, Father.” He pushes down his underwear and takes his cock in hand, presses the wet head inside her slowly; her hands move to his waist, fisting in his shirt, pulling him close, and he groans deeply when he slides fully inside. He kisses her, messy, frantic, and begins thrusting.
“I knew you were sent for me the moment I saw you,” he pants, and she moves beneath him, eyes focused on his gorgeous face and the expressions he makes when he glides in and out of her. “It was the first time you came for mass—you thought I hadn’t noticed you, but you caught my attention on that first day and never let go.” He nibbles her throat, and she rubs her hands over his shoulder, his head, pulling his hair and urging him deeper. “The version of me you dreamed of was right, Sophie; this is God’s will.”
She moans, her head falling back, mouth open, eyes closed, so much pleasure rushing through her body it feels like she’s floating, and she holds him close while he comes inside her, while he moans her name.
They stay there, arms wrapped around each other, hands sweeping over their bodies, and he pulls her close for a series of slow, passionate kisses that make her hum.
When they shower together, he washes her body, his hands careful and reverent, and he helps her dry off just as gently, with a soft, pleased smile on his face.
“How are you feeling?” he asks when they climb back into bed, their limbs entwined, his hand smoothing over her back, and she smiles too, a little shy.
“I feel good, Father, though I am wondering if you make these particular kinds of house calls often.” He laughs lightly, brings his hand up to caress her cheek, and he presses his lips gently against hers.
“This is a house call I’ve never made before,” he assures her, and he sweeps his thumb over her lips. “And one I’ll never make for another woman, I can promise you.”
“Will you make more for me?” she asks, truly curious, and his face softens, he nods.
“Yes, for as long as you’ll let me. I find it hard to condemn our thoughts as merely lustful and impure when I also feel a tenderness for you that’s impossible to ignore. I think you are a gift for me,” he murmurs, kissing her, “and I trust that God has reasons for bringing us together the way He did.”
They lay together a little longer, touching and kissing, and she moans when he presses a hand against her ass.
“May I make a confession, Father?” she asks, licking her lips, and he nods, pulls her closer. “I had one dream I didn’t mention to you, and I would like to see if we can replicate it. Can you come again?” He grinds his hips against her, and she feels him stiff and hot, sighs against his shoulder.
“Anything for you, my girl. What did you dream?” With an innocent smile, she pulls him close, whispers in his ear, and he leans back far enough to roll her onto her stomach—taking her breath away—and press his cock into her. He props himself up on one hand, runs the other over her ass and hip as he pumps inside, and she is swiftly ready to come again, moaning and gripping the sheets.
“Yes, yes,” she whines, and she guides his hand to her breast, where they squeeze together. “Harder, Father, please,” she begs, and he drapes his body over top of hers, mouths at her shoulder, and pounds his hips against her, leaving her an eager, wanton mess.
“You are perfection personified. My gift from God,” he whispers, and when he leans down to kiss her neck, she grips his hair in her fingers, moans.
“If I’m yours, come inside me again so I never forget it.” His hips move faster, less rhythmically, and when he spills inside her, she shudders, comes too; his hands are gentle again while they come down, and for the first time since she set foot in Father Hotchner’s church, she actually feels satisfied.
The next time he gives her communion, she looks into his eyes and offers her mouth; she offers it again later, and she can safely say that she prefers his body to the body of Christ.
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inagetawaycarxo · 3 years
Text
Ethan Choi Headcanon
 Ethan Choi finding out that his girlfriend (who's an OB/GYN) worked as a stripper to pay her way through medical school
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❛❛ May I request headcanons for Ethan Choi finding out that his girlfriend (who's an OB/GYN) worked as a stripper to pay her way through medical school?❜❜-sacredwarrior88 
WARNINGS: secrets, Adult themes.
A/N: if your name is Aviva just use an alternative name. Got an Ethan Choi or Chicago Med request? Send it in! FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED!
Ethan found out your little secret when you ran into your old co-worker at med. You were her OB/GYN.
Ethan was walking with you to the room. Asking you for a consult with a patient of his.
“I mean she could have some sexually transmitted disease or an infection,” Ethan spoke.
“Has she been sexually active? You know I can’t treat her for any sexually transmitted diseases if she isn’t sexually active. I could test her for other infections, like a yeast infection, or bacterial vaginosis,” You spoke. Stopping in front of the door. Opening the door, but Ethan stopped you by grabbing your wrist.
“That’s the thing, I think she is lying to me,” Ethan responded. Making you let out a sigh.
“Okay, I will look at her,” You responded. Making Ethan smile.
“Thank you, and to show you my appreciation, I’ll help you with your patient,”
You let out a laugh.
“I think you’ll be out that door in a second, pregnant women can a little bit overbearing, asking so many questions,” You spoke. Ethan took the tablet off you. Finding your patient’s chart.
“I think I can handle Miss Aviva Miller,” He chuckled. Raising an eyebrow at you.
Your heart stopped as the name, maybe it was a different Aviva Miller and not the one you knew back from your stripper days.
You gave him a small smile. Then walked into the room, praying it wasn’t her. Ethan followed close behind you.
Your heart sunk to your stomach as you saw a familiar face. You gulped. Hoping she didn’t recognize you.
“Good morning, Miss Miller, sorry to keep you waiting,” You spoke cheerfully.
Aviva looked up from her phone. A look of surprise on her face. she smiled happily at you. Sitting up slightly.
“Oh my god, if it isn’t doctor y/n,” Aviva gushed. Making you gulp. While Ethan looked at her and you with a puzzled look.
“Look at you, you are a doctor, oh my god,” She beamed.
Ethan quirked an eyebrow at you. Then looked at Aviva.
“You two know each other?” He asked though it came out more of a question.
You subtly shook your head at her. Begging her not to spill. But it didn’t work.
“Of course, she used to work at the same strip club as me. Earning money to pay her way through medical school,” Aviva responded. Making you nervous.
You let out a nervous chuckle, scratching your nape.
“So, enough about the past, how are you doing? Any concerns? Bleeding?” You asked her, trying to change the subject but she wouldn’t let it go.
Ethan looked back in forth between Aviva and you. processing what she said. Feeling slightly hurt you couldn’t tell him this, and a little bit jealous that other men looked at you in your lingerie.
“But that was in the old days, now she has something to be proud of. She’s a doctor an OB/GYN doctor, my doctor,” She gushed. As you put the cuff around her upper arm. Checking her blood pressure.
She continued to talk about how you were stripper to Ethan, while you did the check-up. Answering your questions, but she continued to yap.
“Everything looks good, Aviva, if you have any questions or concerns just give me a ring, here is my card,” You spoke handing it to her.
She grabbed the card from you, then grabbed your wrist. Then pulling you closer to her. She wrapped her arms around you. hugging you.
“It was nice seeing you. I’m so excited you are my doctor,” She gushed.
“It was nice seeing you too. Remember call me if you have any concerns or troubles. I will let you get dressed. Take care,” you spoke. Squeezing her gently. You pulled away. Smiling at her.
“Yeah, I will,” She responded.
Ethan and you walked out of the room.
“Stripper aye,” Ethan spoke. Breaking the silence.
“I had to find the money to get through medical school, Ethan, don’t judge,” You sighed.
“I’m not judging, I just… I wish you told me,” He spoke softly.
You let out a sigh, turning around to face him.
“I thought if I did you would see me in a different light, or leave me,” You spoke, giving him a sad look.
“I would never judge you or leave you, you can tell me anything,” He replied. Cupping the side of your face. Lowering his head down to yours. His lips pressing against yours softly. Eyes fluttering closed…
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hi :,) im not sure if ur still taking asks but im still gonna send this bc im in a really silly place rn and i just need to get this out. also this might just be advice in general instead of a normal askhdjdh (also im sorry for this being so long)
so i started volunteering at this pet shelter about five weeks ago, and the first time i met this guy (who ill call A) was at the orientation i was going to just before i started volunteering. ngl, i was about 93% sure he was looking at me at random points during the orientation, and we made eye contact once. im not exactly sure what to make of that, but ig its still something???? idk i havent exactly been in a relationship before :,D... anyways cut to a week later, and i first start volunteering at the place (mostly) without supervision. pretty much A follows me around a lot while im playing with the cats and stuff, which i think was perfectly normal (i was new yk) but im including it anyway. the second time around though, i was playing with the kittens for a bit and i was planning on leaving and going to other cats, but A comes in and we got to talking and hit it off pretty well. third time, same exact scenario except we‘re talking and his brother comes in and he teases him abt stuff (honestly his brother scares me :,)).
again im sorry this was so long but i guess what im asking is smth like “help please im not sure if i have a crush or im in love and if he likes me back and oh no it’s only been four days and im head over heels” shsgsj ik this isnt much to go off of and u dont have to respond (this is really silly) i just had to get it out
Hello!! Hope sending the ask helped with letting it out in the open.
So, it definelty sounds like you are starting to like this guy, and I don't know much about being in love so I can't comment much on that. But still, sounds like you both hit it off well and even if it has only been a few days, hanging out more could be the best thing to figure out if it could develop into something. My advice would be to maybe hang out someday outside of work and get to know each other better. And hey, it ha only been a few days but that doesn't mean you can't crush on this new guy, lol. My high school crush began after the first couple of days of seeing him in my classes, so I think it is worth checking those feeling you have out, and ask if he would like to hang out ot have lunch with you. I wish you the best of luck and hope this helps!!
Also, don't worry about the silly part of it, crushes and love is silly and messy sometimes, so I think it is anything to worry about.
~Not a love expert 🌸
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buckys-black-dress · 3 years
Text
campus - bucky barnes x fem!reader (college au)
a/n: hey y’all! so. this is my first ever fic being posted here! i’m super excited to be sharing my work on here :) that being said, thank you for reading! please feel free to share/reblog/leave comments, but please do not repost my work! this lil one shot was inspired by the song campus by vampire weekend. enjoy! - ali
wc: 3.4k
You worked in the evenings at your coffee shop on campus during the week. Being that you went to school in a major metropolitan city, there were endless amounts of students bustling in and out of the shop daily. Day in and day out, it was pretty repetitive. The same kids, stressed, ordering a coffee and snack, and then sitting at a desk or in the upstairs attached library for hours on end, cramming or stressing about some test that was probably the following day. 
But there was one part that always made your day brighter, no matter how horrible your day had been thus far. 
Him.
His dark, long brown hair that looked soft to the touch, his large physique that had you melting in seconds, and his voice. 
He was always kind when he spoke to you, never short or rude. He always took his time to ask you how your day was going, took the time to learn your name, and even sat with you in between customers at the counter. 
Today, it was him sitting through the lunch rush, and while you whirled around the coffee machines and mugs, he watched you and made conversation while you steamed milk for the next latte that was ordered. 
“So, what are your plans for the winter break? Seeing any family?” He questioned, looking down into his own mug of dark brew. 
“Yeah, usually I go up to Canada to see my family there. I miss them a lot around this time of year, can’t wait to see them.” You shrugged your shoulders with a smile. “How about you, Bucky?”
Bucky hummed, wrapping a large hand around the body of the mug and pulled it up to his lips. 
“Yeah, not as far as you, though. Can’t wait to see my ma and sister. Miss ‘em to death.” He matched your grin. 
“Aw, how is she? Doing better now?” 
You recalled one day where Bucky came into the cafe, head hung low. You immediately poured him a cup and sat with him as he talked.
“She’s doing great now, thank God. Would’ve had to take off from school to stay with her if she didn’t, and she’s still so young. No one deserves to be bound to a hospital bed when they’re a kid.” He spoke brightly, glad he could say Rebecca was out of the hospital.
“That’s amazing, Buck! Glad to hear it.” You grinned even brighter than you had before, and Bucky couldn’t help but to stare at the sparkle in your eyes. 
You were a shy girl, and Bucky had initially first seen you in your sophomore art class. For you, it was a core requirement, but Bucky was taking courses aimlessly, trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He was at school on a football scholarship, and almost everyone knew him and his teammates. But as soon as he spotted you in that class, he knew he had to get to know you. It was hard at first, he’ll admit. You weren’t quite as responsive to him as he’d hoped, but over time when he would see you more often, he would make more conversation and you eventually warmed up to him.
You never knew what to do with Bucky. At first, you thought he was pranking you when he tried to talk to you. But over time, you let your guard down. You often fantasize about him and what it would be like to be with him. You fell for the side of him that was kind and caring, the soft side. Others saw the big, brawny football player, but that couldn’t be further from who he actually was. 
“You know, you should come to our party tonight.”
You scoffed at that. 
“And why, Bucky, would I do that?” Your tone was incredulous.
“Because, sweetheart, I want you to meet my friends?” The nickname made your heart flutter, beating wildly against your chest.
“I’ve already met Steve and Sam, and as far as I know, no one else is relevant.” You countered.
“I- Well, you’re right, but I want to have fun with you! I never see you outside of work or school.” Bucky’s eyes shone with pleading, basically begging you.
“I… Fine, maybe I’ll drop by after work…” You compromised, but Bucky’s smirk grew. 
“Yes! I’ll see ya at eight, doll, but I gotta head out and help set up.” He tapped the counter and stood up from his stool, flashing you one last smile before heading out the door, the bell ringing above it.
And fuck, you couldn’t wipe that damn smile off your face. 
-
Eight o’clock couldn’t roll around fast enough, and as soon you clocked out of work you practically ran to your apartment. Your roommates were out, so you picked out the best outfit you could put together in half an hour. 
The walk to Bucky’s fraternity house was jittery, your hands shaking uncontrollably, and it wasn’t just because of the frigid November air. 
It was exactly eight. Music was booming, you could literally feel it from the front porch. Not a minute late or early, and you were wondering why you were so nervous. Of course, it was because of Bucky, but also about the prospect of a party. You don’t go to many at all, and to go to a college party was more or less social suicide. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself, let alone in front of Bucky.
You lifted your hand to knock and after a minute or so, the door pulled open. 
And that was definitely not Bucky. 
“You here for the party?” The guy said, a brunet just a bit taller than you, but you could tell he was older than you.
“Uh- yeah-” You barely got out before he pulled you in by the arm. 
“Great, uh, I don’t have too much time for formalities or anything, but drinks are there,” he said, pointing to the kitchen, “and if ya gotta yak, please, for the love of God, do it in a toilet.” He said, leaving you in the middle of the hallway with people stumbling around you, mumbling apologies as you bumped into countless people. 
You felt like looking for Bucky was hopeless, so you stayed by the drinks for a bit, seeing if he’d come by, and after a few minutes, he turned up.
But of course, not alone.
“Y/N! You made it, I was wondering if you bailed on me!” He was basically yelling over the music.
“Oh! Yeah, I made it, I guess.” You tightly smiled, giving a fake laugh.
“Where are my manners! This is Nat, ot Natasha. We’re in the same Human Sexuality course. ‘ve known her since freshman year, can always count on her.” Bucky announced, pulling the interest of the redhead that he walked in with. 
She extended her hand with a smile as you shook her hand.
She’s fucking gorgeous. Of course Bucky’s here with her. Fuck. Why did you think he would hang out with you tonight? 
“So, Y/N, what’s your major?” Natasha asked you, her soft voice pulling you out of your intrusive thoughts.
“I uh, I’m an English Lit major with a minor in Cognitive Psych.” You responded, wanting to be done with this conversation. Done with this whole party, actually, at this point. 
“Oh shit, that’s so cool! I’m just a boring Criminal Justice major,” she answered, taking a sip from her drink.
Suddenly, her eyes lit up, looking at you in shock.
“Buck! Get this girl a drink! She’s just been standing here empty handed!” She slapped his arm, causing him to curse.
“Fuck, Y/N, let me get you something. Any preferences?” Bucky asked, already turning to the counter. 
“Uhm, not really, just no beer. Tastes like shit.” You huffed out a laugh, looking down at your hands until Bucky handed you a cup that was almost full.
“Vodka lemonade, doll, sweet enough where all you taste is the burn.” He smiled a wide smile that made you realize something. Bucky was drunk. 
“Thanks, Bucky.” You smiled and took a sip. He was right, it wasn’t strong at all, but by the time you looked up, Natasha was pulling him back to the dance floor, throwing her arms around his neck and swaying to the beat. His hands almost immediately found her hips, moving at the same pace.
Somewhere deep in your chest, you felt a pang. You knew that of course, you had no claim over Bucky. But you thought that after really getting to know him that there was something between you two.
But seeing his gaze never waver from Natasha, you guess you’d thought wrong. 
Setting your cup down on the counter, you felt a hand land on top of yours, and he spoke before you could.
“Hey, another rule I forgot to mention. Never leave your cup unattended. We try to keep a clean act here, but some assholes always slip through.” It was the same brunet from earlier.
“Oh… I was actually just about to go…” You mumbled.
“Leaving so early? You make me feel like a horrible host!” He yelled dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. “Oh God, you don’t even know me, do you?” He questioned.
“I… I’m sorry, I don’t.” You responded, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
“Well, nice to meet you. I’m Tony, but I prefer ‘Greek God’ or ‘Ruler of the Universe,’ up to ya.” He smirked.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Tony. I’m Y/N.” You shook his hand, looking around. You just wanted to go home at this point.
“So why do you look like someone just killed your cat, Y/N?” He asked, leaning back onto the counter.
“I just… don’t really think this is my scene, I guess.” You shrugged. It was the truth, this wasn’t where you wanted to be on a Friday night. But you came for Bucky, and right now he’s dancing with a gorgeous redhead on the dance floor, while you stand in the kitchen talking to a stranger. 
“I see… have you come to one of our parties before?” He asks, scanning the crowd.
“Uh, just a few with my old roommates, but not too many, but Bucky invited me…” Your words trailed off, spotting him in the crowd, head thrown back laughing at something Steve or Natasha had said. 
“Ah, I see. Bucky.” Tony smirked. “You like him, don’t you?” He questioned.
“What?” You paled, “No! He’s just a friend, we’ve had a few classes together, that’s all.” Your face turned beet red as you looked down at your feet. 
“Listen, Y/N, I don’t know you very well, but I can tell you’re not dumb. If you like him, tell him that. I almost waited too long to tell Pep, but now we’ve been together a whole year and I can’t imagine my life without her. What’s the worst that could happen?” Tony proclaimed, bounding away and pulling a strawberry blonde girl, who you’re assuming is ‘Pep.’
And although Tony’s word instilled an unusual wave of confidence in you, what you were met with when you turned your head towards Bucky made it disappear into thin air.
There he was, in all his long-haired, muscly glory, kissing Natasha. 
Oh.
Alright.
Your mind was blank, and before you knew it you were out of the house and running back to your apartment, ignoring your roommates calling you from the couch as you held back tears. 
Of course Bucky would never go for someone like you. 
-
Waking up and having to go to class on Monday was a feat on its own. But going to work?
Impossible.
You had been avoiding going on campus all weekend, although you had to go in for a studio hour. But all in all, you managed to avoid Bucky. Thank God you didn’t have to work on weekends. 
But alas, Monday came, and Monday meant work. 
And work meant Bucky.
You took your time clocking in and pulling on your apron in the back and as you emerged, you were met with tons of customers waiting in line.
No Bucky yet. 
Hm. 
An hour into your shift, you’re whirling around behind the counter, completing orders, when he walked in. Bucky quietly sat himself down at the countertop and waited for you to greet him with a mug of hot coffee and a smile.
All you could manage was a tight, rushed smile while placing the mug in front of him haphazardly. 
Bucky’s brows furrowed as you kept up your work, not even stopping to speak a word to him. He waited and waited, but you kept to yourself and served the countless students that walked into the cafe. 
Needless to say, Bucky was confused. 
“Hey, Y/N?” He finally piped up after almost two hours of watching you. 
“Oh, yeah, need something James?” You asked, focused on pouring the right amount of milk into a cup. 
James.
You never called him James.
“Uh, no. Just wanted to ask you if everything was alright?” Bucky inquired, hoping you’d give him something. 
“Yeah, just working.” You replied shortly. 
“Oh. Alright, doll.” Bucky took the hint, you thought. 
But he still sat there until you got off your shift, which is exactly what you did not want. 
While walking out of the cafe, you didn’t even look in Bucky’s direction. You walked right out, and by the time he saw you leaving he was sprinting out of his seat, but you had disappeared into the crowd of people walking about. 
The next day was more of the same. Bucky sitting and waiting, and you sneaking out to avoid him.
On Thursday night after work, you waited for the elevator in your apartment building, and just as the doors were about to close, a tall, burly blond slid his way in.
“Oh, hey Y/N.” He nodded down at you.
“Hi, Steve.” You muttered, looking down at your shoes.
“How ya been? Haven’t seen you around that much lately.” He asks.
“Oh, just busy with work and school, finals and stuff are coming up.” You answered, pursing your lips. 
“Yeah, Bucky’s been mentioning that he hasn’t spent time with you in a while. You should talk to him.” He looked at you. 
“Steve, are you here on behalf of Bucky?” You asked, anger raising inside you.
“Well, no, not really. My girlfriend Peggy lives on the 13th floor, so I gotta head out, but just… talk to him, Y/N? He misses you, I think.” Steve punctuates his sentence with the elevator doors sliding shut and leaving you with your thoughts.
-
Of course, you didn’t follow Steve’s advice. You didn’t know how to really act around him now, but you didn’t want to completely cut him off. 
So the following week had been a bit of the same, but Wednesday came, and that’s when it all blew up in your face. 
After work, you snuck out from the back, but the alleyway that was usually empty had one single person there, waiting for you.
“Hey doll, can we talk?” 
Fuck.
“Uh, yeah, sure what’s up?” You asked, standing a mere distance from him. 
“It’s just… why have you been avoiding me?” Bucky sounded unsure, like he was crazy.
“Bucky, I’ve just been busy, I’m sorry-” You started, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Y/N, please. It’s been almost two weeks and you haven’t said more than five words to me. Did something happen? Did I upset you somehow?” He sounded desperate, like he was really trying. 
But all your mind could think of is him that night. His arms around Natasha, his lips attached to hers. 
And then it went to all of the moments you two shared. Hours of conversations, pet names, talking about everything under the sun.
“Bucky, I just… I don’t understand.”
“What, what don’t you understand, doll?” He was pleading with you here. 
“That party… why did you invite me?” You carefully asked.
Bucky looked confused now. “Because I wanted to hang out with you and have fun?”
You shuffled your feet against the gravel, scoffing at yourself.
“So why did you spend the whole night making out with Natasha?” You asked, pretty boldly if you would admit it to yourself. You were never one for confrontation, but Bucky had put you in a corner. 
“I… doll… I’m sorry, ya gotta believe, it was never my intention to make you feel unimportant,” Bucky’s eyes flashed with realization at what he’d done, “I was drunk out of my damn mind because Tony was pregaming and… I’m sorry, Y/N.” Bucky bowed his head in shame. 
“Just… was I all a game to you? Someone who was just there to comfort you when you needed it? Did I… ever mean anything more to you?” Your voice was meek.
“Y/N, please, look at me.” Bucky’s hand found your cheek, tilting your head up. “You are the sweetest, kindest, most intelligent person I’ve met in my entire life. There is no one else like you.” He spoke passionately. 
“Then… why can’t I be enough?” Tears pooled in your eyes. “Why can’t I be the one you hold when you dance?” Why can’t I be the one who gets the guy?
“You have to believe me, I was drunk, Y/N. I know that’s no excuse, but I’m so, so, so sorry. I was just afraid. You’re always so quiet, I never know how you’re feeling, so I just assumed you weren’t interested in me the way I was interested in you. I thought I was chasing a dead end.” He confessed.
By now, fat tears were running down your face, being gently wiped away by Bucky's large thumbs. 
“I just- I know I don’t talk much, but I always talk to you. It was so hard for me to open up to you and when I saw you with Natasha I just… I thought I had driven you away. I thought you’d found someone better because I wasn’t enough for you.”  You barely choked out the words.
“Sweetheart, you are more than enough for me. I come and sit with you at work for hours just to hear you talk. I just didn’t know how to tell you without freaking you out.”
By now, the both of you were crying, trying to understand how you got here.
“I’m sorry, Buck. You’re just so different. I never thought someone like you could like someone like me.” 
“Doll, please. I wouldn’t shut up about you to Steve, he was going insane.” Bucky cracked a smile, thumbing at your cheek still.
You giggled at that, sniffling. 
“Look at us. Two big idiots, huh?” You laughed.
“The biggest idiots. But I think I’ll be an even bigger idiot if i don't do this.” He  mumbled.
“Do what?”
Before the question could leave your lips, his mouth was on yours, capturing it in a sweet kiss that you didn’t even know you were longing for. 
After coming out of your daze, your eyes fluttered open when Bucky pulled away.
“What was that for?” You breathily asked, bringing your fingers up to your lips. 
“It was to show you how sorry I am. I wanna take you out and show you off, Y/N. I wanna make you my girl. Whaddaya say?” Bucky was smiling, but you could tell he was nervous.
“Sure, Buck. I’ll be your girl. But you gotta take me out for dinner first.” You smirked, clutching Bucky’s face in your hands. 
“I’ll take ya wherever ya wanna go, sweetheart. I’d take you to the moon if you wanted.” 
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ravenadottir · 3 years
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Heyyy, in one of your previous post you wrote about the boys professional life before Villa. So can you please write a similar one for after the villa and when MC moves in with them and her relationship with each LIs assistant and coworkers.
hey!
so... ok. let’s take the canon scenario under consideration here, since we know bobby leaves the hospital gig to open his own business.
bobby. while in the hospital kitchen, i think it’s safe to say the boys and bobby’s partner would be allies when it comes to making jokes about him. nothing too out there, but i wouldn't dismiss the opportunity to joke around with them, especially given the fact that they love to see him with someone, finally.
also, how they would be making us know just how different bobby is now, maybe more decisive and serious about the future. and i can bet anything that the boys would be happy for him, when he decided to leave, but would playfully say something like, “this is your fault, isn’t it? he’s growing up because of you...” wiping fake tears and fake crying on each others’ shoulders, just like bobby would.
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carl. “all i’m saying is that you might have some trouble at first. carl is an amazing guy, but he’s also working a lot, at all times. he doesn’t understand what it takes to make a relationship work.” his assistant or most trusted employee would spell it out for you. the pos-villa life wouldn’t be easy, and it would take a lot of work to make carl realize he needs to slow down.
on the other hand, people would say how happier he looks every morning, and just how light his mood has been since you guys got together. “was that humming i heard coming from your office, carl?”
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gary. if you ever go to pick gary up at work, he already knows the teasing will be non-stop. for one, he talks about you, for two, the lads at the docks watched the show and saw how much you guys are the perfect fit.
and for three, they would definitely emphasize just how much gary gushes over you when you’re not around.
dicky, on the other hand, would make sure to give you a hard time. he knows how gary had been treated in the past and won’t make it easy for you just because you’re cute. he wants to make sure you’re in for the long haul and will make your life a brotherly hell, regardless. on the bright side, he’s like a younger brother who will have your back. he sees how much you love garebear and how dedicated you both are. and nan would definitely be sayiong things like “don’t hesitate on telling me if he fucks up.” she loves you already, mostly because of the show, and can’t wait to have youa around on the sunday dinner.
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henrik. people at the center are definitely hearing henrik talking about you at all times, especially at the beginning, and they’ll make sure you know about it, every time you go there. “this guy won’t shut up about you.” “yes, i will... i don’t even talk about us that much... right?”
it’s endearing when they tell you just how much henrik is happier and lighter after he met you. also, you need to remember that people were probably watching the show, and there’s gonna be lots of girls who would take a shot.
and if i’m right, and i hope i am, his colleagues would be taking those people off his hands, to avoid any sparks.
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ibrahim. something i don’t like, but it’s the truth, it’s that his brothers would be saying things like “how did he land such a pretty girl like you? i mean, we were watching and we still can’t believe it.” his father would probably say stuff in the same tone, to which i would love to respond something that embarrasses them.
ibrahim is much more confident now, and despite the respect he has for them, i think some snarky responses he learned from bobby and gary would do the trick too. and honestly? i would love to see it.
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kassam. he probably has a manager and an assistant, besides the crew that takes care of the equipment. whenever they come around to pick him up so they tour is definitely a shower of compliments towards you, and of teasing towards him. “he’s not even that prickly anymore.” “the boy is in love...”
to which he responds a simple “duh. look at them.”
and i honestly love that for him.
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lucas. why do i have the feeling that now that lucas is dating someone, and considering a future with them, there’s gonna be some mean comments? possibly gossip about how rushed it was, and definitely some jealous vibes? i don’t want to be pessimistic, but i’ve seen it first hand, how a guy like lucas starts dating, and how the girl suffers the consequences.
because lucas is not the type to go out with people from work, and now that mc got him, it’s like... she’s not gonna endure that shit, but she can’t prevent it from happening, nor can lucas. people will be whispering under their breath, and i’m sorry if his scenario is not the dreamy one, but also, do you disagree?
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marisol. honestly? her family would be so welcoming... but her uni mates? “she can’t even focus as much...” “now we know why she doesn’t hang out in the library anymore.” and more things like that.
they’ll be teasing you about much of a melt marisol is now, but they’re happy for her, jokes apart. also, if there’s game nights, and i hope there is, involving subjects from uni, they want you on their team, to make you feel welcome.
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noah. i mentioned an older woman, his boss, telling him how much he was missing out while ot giving new girls a chance, and now that he’s back to work, she’s so proud of him for taking the risk... even though i imagine her slapping the back of his head about how long, and what, it took.
i also can see her calling noah’s partner “darlin’”, in the most tender way. and now that he’s relatively famous in town, i think his partner might have some trouble, because now more than never, girls will be all over him. but that’s also an excuse the old lady has to be as rude as she wants, saying things like “have some respect for yourself and others.” which i love to see, because she knows just how much noah and his partner love each other.
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mr-chrisevans · 3 years
Text
Meet Cute - pt. 10 (final)
Word Count: 2,140
First Chapter | Last Chapter
When I got home that night I sat in my car trying to brace myself to face Estelle. The thing that finally coaxed me out was a text from her telling me my food was getting cold. I walked inside and tried to pretend that everything was completely normal and I didn’t just make my life more complicated than it already was. The act lasted for the thirty seconds it took me to walk from the front door into our kitchen. “What the fuck is up with you tonight?”
“What do you mean?” I said, my voice two octaves higher than usual.
“Stop trying to hide it, I know you too well.” She said as she got her own food together. “Did something happen with Chris?”
With my back still facing her, I took a deep breath and came out with it. “I kissed Chris.”
She was silent for a while before she sighed. “Oh boy.”
“Is that all you have to say?” I asked, turning back around to face her.
“I mean, I don’t really know what you want me to say about it.” She said. “Did it mean something to you?”
I opened my mouth to respond but shut it before I could say anything. I didn’t want it to mean anything. I had spent this much time trying to convince myself that I no longer had feelings for Chris and I didn’t want to admit that I was deluding myself. All the time we were spending together under the guise of just being friends was really just me trying to spend as much time with him as possible without being honest with myself. I hesitated again before I finally spoke. “I think it did.” She turned away from me but not before I could see her smiling. “Why are you smiling about this? I just majorly fucked up.”
“I’m just glad you’ve finally owned up to it.” She said. “You haven’t been acting the same since you and Chris broke up. And no matter how much you pretend to like Adam it’s pretty obvious that you have never felt about him the way you do about Chris.”
I sighed and leaned against the counter. “I really hate it when you’re right.” I said.
“You might hate me a little more after this, but you’ve got to talk to Adam now.”
I buried my head in my hands. “Oh god, I didn’t even think about that. How could I not think about that!” I shouted through my hands. “I’m such an awful person.”
Estelle put her arm around my shoulder to comfort me. “You’re not a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes and this one really isn’t the worst in the grand scheme of things. But you do need to talk to Adam and tell him the truth. Be honest and say you don’t want to be together anymore.”
We stood in the kitchen for a few minutes in silence, my head leaning against her shoulder while she gently rubbed my back. “How did you learn to give such good advice?”
“I’m your perpetually single friend, it comes with the territory.” She joked.
*****
That Friday I told Adam I would meet him at his apartment for dinner. At least if I broke up with him on his down turf he could dramatically throw me out and maybe he’d feel better about that. Wishful thinking, I know. Every minute I got closer to his apartment I felt more and more dread, but I knew this was the only course of action. To do anything else would make me more of an asshole than I already was.
When he opened the door to greet me I tried to plaster on a nice smile and seem normal. It didn’t seem to work because his own smile faltered a little when he saw me. “Hey Laurel, I’m glad you could come over tonight.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek and stepped aside to let me in.
“Me too.” I told him.
“Are you okay? You seem a little tense.”
I realized that I was gripping my purse so tight my knuckles were starting to turn white. “Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I managed to say and released my hands from the strap of my purse. “Just had a stressful day at work.”
“Those California yoga moms really can be assholes when they don't have their coffee.” He took my purse and set it on his front table.
“If I had to pay a nanny to care for my kids I think I’d be exhausted too.” I joked.
Adam laughed weakly and walked into the kitchen. “Well, the food is almost done and hopefully dinner will ease your stress a little.
“I certainly hope so.”
I tried to act calm during dinner but I must have looked like a robot because Adam kept shooting me little concerned glances. He had to know something was up and the sooner I did it the better. It was time to rip off the bandaid.
He beat me to the punch. “Is there something you want to talk about? It seems like you have a lot more on your mind than just a bad day at work.”
“You’re very perceptive.” I tried to joke but his face didn’t break. I took a deep breath to steady myself before I continued. “I should have told you about this sooner, and for that I’m sorry, but I still have feelings for the guy I was seeing before you. It’s not fair to you that I haven’t been as invested in this relationship.”
He leaned back into his chair and shook his head. “I knew this was coming.”
“I’m really that transparent, aren’t I.”
He chuckled. “Very much so. I could tell these past few weeks that there was something up. I didn’t want to believe it, but I could tell.”
My heart sank. “I should have said something to you earlier. I’m so sorry Adam.”
“No you’re not.” I was surprised at what he was saying, but he wasn’t angry. “It’s been obvious that whoever this guy before me was, he’s still on your mind. You can’t give anyone a fair shot if you’re still hung up on him.”
“You should be a therapist. I think you’d make good money.” I said and managed to make him smile.
“I really hope everything works out for you, Laurel. You clearly care about him a lot and he’s very lucky for that.” We said our goodbyes and I drove back home. I was in a much better mood than most people would be after just breaking up with someone, but it was done. I did it and was overcome with relief.
*****
I had made sure that Estelle was invited to the Halloween party so I had someone in my corner to cheer me on. I really think she was just glad I had finally made up my mind instead of moping around the apartment like a character in a Jane Austen novel. "I really can't believe you're about to pour your heart out to him dressed as a man." Estelle said as I walked out of my room in my costume.
"Oh, come on. John Lennon is a great costume idea. At least I'm not being boring and unoriginal." I said and gestured to her vampire costume that she had worn the year before.
"It's a tried-and-true, what can I say." I rolled my eyes at her and tossed her her keys. "You ready for this?" She asked.
"You know, yeah I am." For the first time in a while it really did feel like I was making the right decision and now all I could do was hope Chris would feel the same way.
Estelle gave me a pep talk on the way to the party, but the second we walked into Chris' house I had butterflies in my stomach so bad I could have sworn I was about to throw up. Before I could bail back to the car Josh spotted us and my window of escape closed. "Hey guys, nice to see you here."
"Well, we have the party planner in chief here." Estelle wrapped her arm around me and gave me a quick squeeze. "There's no way we would miss it."
"Speaking of party planners, have you seen Chris?" I asked. "I wanted to talk to him really quickly."
"Last I saw him he was talking to someone in the living room. The alcohol is in the kitchen, by the way." He winked at me. It was obvious that I needed a little liquid courage. I smiled at him and walked into the kitchen, Estelle right behind me.
I shakily picked up a beer from a tub of ice in the kitchen and struggled to open it myself. Estelle gently put her hand on my arm and opened the bottle for me. "I know you're worried about this, but everything will be okay regardless of what happens. Once you do this there will be no more what-ifs and you can put this aside if you have to."
I looked out into the living room from where we were standing, but I couldn’t see Chris anywhere. “You think he sensed what I was going to do and ran away?” I joked.
“Would you just shut up and go look around. It’s his house he’s bound to be here somewhere.” I walked around the party for a few minutes trying to find him with no luck. I chatted with a few people but when I still couldn’t find him I went out to the patio to smoke a cigarette in defeat. I pulled out the pack I hid inside my jacket from Estelle and sat down on a bench in the best spot I could find to avoid being seen from inside.
“You know, I almost didn’t realize it was you with that mustache.” I turned and saw Chris closing the glass door behind him and walking over to me.
“It really does complete the look.” I laughed.
“That it does.” He said and sat next to me. “Mind if I bum one off you?” He gestured to the pack in my lap.
“Not at all.” I handed him the pack and lit his cigarette for him. “I was looking for you earlier, but it seems you disappeared.”
He looked at the ground and took a drag. “Yeah, I just needed a second by myself. There are so many fucking people in this house. Not quite sure how I got roped into hosting this.” He laughed. We both sat in silence for a while before he spoke again. “So, why were you looking for me?”
I tapped on the cigarette with my forefinger and tried to steady myself. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
I could feel him tense next to me. It was the smallest movement but I could tell he was nervous. “Nothing bad, I hope.”
I shook my head. “Nothing bad.” I took a deep breath before I spoke again. “I broke up with Adam.”
“Oh. I’m sorry about that, Laurel. Really that sucks.” He said.
“It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, if I’m being honest. I’ve been through worse break ups.” I said and looked over at him.
He leaned back against the wall. “If this was my fault, I really am sorry I didn’t mean-”
I put my hand on his arm as I interrupted him. “Chris. It’s not your fault. If anyone is responsible for it it’s me for not owning up to how I really feel about you.”
He looked back at me and he eased a little. “So I didn’t fuck up too bad the other day?”
I laughed. “No, not at all. You made me realize how I actually feel. I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I had to confront it head on.”
“The kiss was that good, eh.”
“Oh, shut up.” I laughed.
He tossed his cigarette on the ground and rubbed it out with his shoe. “Laurel, I want to make it work this time. My life is complicated to say the least, but I want to be there for you the best I can. I care about you so much. I don’t want to lose you this time.”
“You won’t lose me. I promise.” I looked into his eyes and I again felt like I could get lost in them. As much as we had been through in the small time we knew each other, it was all worth it just to keep getting lost in those eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. I felt myself melt into him and the rest of the world faded into black. I was right where I was supposed to be.
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findswoman · 3 years
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Fic Writer Review
Tagged by @fontainebleau22 ! Thank you so much—this is a really thought-provoking list of fic questions, and I really enjoyed reading your responses to them!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
69 at present.
2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?
252,460 as of the current writing. Not too shabby, I guess!
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
With the exception of very juvenile Star Trek: TOS juvenilia that never were posted publicly and are probably no longer accessible in any form (and that’s probably fine), it’s just been Star Wars—but various forms thereof, including the PT era, the OT era, Rebels, Rogue One, KOTOR, and small amounts of Legends EU and ST era.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Sixth Time’s the Charm (Rebels)—33 (probably no accident that this one is also currently my only fic centering on Kanera)
“I saw the wolf…” (Rebels)—19
Beautiful, Inexactly (PT era)—18
The Rains of Scarif (Rogue One)—14
Just Ask Dad; or, Talking Things Through on Taris (KOTOR)—12
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Oh yes, most certainly. I am sincerely grateful for each and every one that I get, and interaction is one of the best parts of fandom, as far as I’ve concerned.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Gosh, well… probably a toss-up between “There is no death!,” which ends with the Jedi OC committing suicide in full view of Darth Vader, in order to keep Vader from ripping a special Force talent of his from him (yes, that’s a factor in the story); and Opus Sixty-Six, where two OC musicians who are forced to perform before Emperor Palpatine perform the “wrong” piece in protest and are promptly killed for it. (Graceful as Water, in which a Tusken OC commits a violent murder, is pretty angsty and grim over all, but it ends with the murderer getting his just deserts, so the ending is not necessarily angsty per se.)
7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I don’t, mainly because I have been working in only one fandom.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No, thank goodness.
9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Not currently. I’m still working out my feelings about smut, as it (or at least most instances of it) are just kind of a closed door to me. Even if it’s something I eventually end up experimenting with here and there (maybe? I don’t know), I don’t think it would ever be my main emphasis.
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Gosh, no! I didn’t know that was a thing—I guess kind of the fic equivalent of an art repost? Never had anything like that happen, thank goodness.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! Between the Porch and the Altar (a Gand OC one-shot) was translated into French by yahiko as Entre le portique et l’autel on Fanfictions.fr. The translation was a prize he offered for the Jedi Council Fanfic Forums awards in 2016.
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! I’ve collaborated a few times on small-scale, just-for-fun projects with Ewok_Poet, and more recently I did a really fun collaboration with Chyntuck on a story featuring our two Hutt OCs on a romantic dinner out: Dinner at the Hungry Hutt (not on AO3 yet).
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Sorry, once again I’m going to have to give the same tiresome answer I always give for this and similar questions: the ones involving my OCs. 😛
14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Oh gee… I hate to say “never” about anything, but the closest thing to this right now is The Book of Gand. I think I will at least finish its part three, but beyond that, who knows just yet, and that is because even back in the past when I was actively working on it, I didn’t know how I was going to end it. (Moral of the story: know how it’s going to end before you start writing it! 😛 )
15. What are your writing strengths?
Fanon/worldbuilding, descriptions of settings and characters, dialogue, introspection. I feel I’m pretty good at characterization in general.
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Using too many long sentences; generally not varying my sentence types enough; writing action and fight/battle scenes; writing anything involving a lot of tech, vehicles, etc.; writing sibling relationships (as I’m an only child).
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
This is something I would feel very unsure of doing unless I knew the other language (whether real-life or created/fictional) very, very well. Individual words and phrases I could probably manage, but entire dialogue passages, not so much.
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Simultaneously Star Wars and Star Trek: TOS (se #3 above).
19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
Oh, I hate this question. 😛 Yes, I know it’s totally cliché by now, but it really is like choosing a favorite child. But I will say I am particularly proud of my story series that involve lots of alien world building: The Book of Gand (and the associated Gand Series) and the Lasan Series.
Tagging: @jadelotusflower​ @independence1776​ @rendar-writes​ @sassygirl579​ @runrundoyourstuff​ @spacemomcreations​ @tarisilmarwen​ @gondalsqueen​ @jedi-valjean​ just to name some fanfic writers I know, but anyone who sees this is welcome to give it a go!
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ragingpancake · 3 years
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Lietuenant Colonel Idiot And The Kastat Root Part 2
Part 1
The first thing John is aware of when he starts to come to is the quiet beeping of machines. He knows that that’s never a good sign but he feels floaty and warm so he has a hard time caring about what exactly landed him in the infirmary this time. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking against the overhead light, dim as it was in the moment but he doesn’t realize he’s made a noise until Teyla and Ronon quickly come into his line of vision. “Hi,” he manages, voice hoarse with disuse, and you know, probably from the tube they’d shoved down his throat to anesthetize him when Carson had cut him back open to clean him up a little. “Where’s… what happened?” He has a vague memory of a stomachache and of screaming but the pain meds they have him on makes it hard to think. It also makes it hard to sleep, so when Teyla tells him gently that he should go back to sleep and they’ll fill him in later, he doesn’t argue. He just closes his eyes and lets the darkness return.
-- It happens like that a couple of times before John finally, truly, wakes up. He thinks that it’s probably the pain that does it, that pulls him back to the land of the lucid, as Beckett has started weaning him off of the good stuff. He doesn’t remember much from those quick bursts of consciousness, but he does remember that while he’s seen Teyla and Ronon every time, he hasn’t once seen Rodney. Where’s Rodney? “Aye, Colonel,” Carson greets, leaning over as he adjusts John’s nasal cannula, Teyla and Ronon just visible over his shoulder. “Welcome back t’the land of the livin’, lad. How’re ya feelin’ this morning?” “Where’s Rodney?” He doesn’t miss the way Carson’s face shifts, just for a moment, nor does he miss the look shared by Teyla and Ronon. Something sits painfully in his gut at that and for one brief, horrible moment, he’s afraid that something happened to Rodney, something off-world, because Rodney was always here when he woke up, and-- “Settle down now,” Carson admonishes gently, and John is embarrassed to realize that the beeping on his heart rate monitor has sped up. “Rodney’s down in the labs, that’s all. He’s alright. The only one y’need to be worryin’ about now is yourself.” “How much do you remember?” Ronon asks and John can tell by the look on Teyla’s face that she’s not pleased at the question. It had been a routine mission, right? M3-X982, the Plesians, according to the ancient database. Not so routine if you ended up here, his brain reminds him and okay, fair enough. He takes a second and tries to think through the brain fog he always associates with the good drugs. He remembers the almost meatloaf and the bad jokes told by Plesia’s leader, Korom. He remembers the heat--. No. Not heat. The fever and the stomachache and--. Screaming. Hoarse screams, begging them to stop killing him, for Ronon to let him go, for Teyla to help him. And Rodney… Rodney, holding the dagger looking very much on the edge of a panic attack as he sliced through John’s skin, flaying him open. “Your appendix nearly ruptured,” Carson supplies, voice more gentle now. “Rodney recognized the signs fairly quickly but the doctor in Plesia was ill-equipped to operate.” “Doctor McKay very likely saved your life, John,” Teyla says, a fact she’s tried to get through to Rodney since their return. “Aye,” Carson agrees. “We had t’put ya under again to clean up a bit of infection and to right some suturin’, but he did bloody well considerin’ the circumstances.” “Then why… why isn’t he here?” Because no one has actually told him that much, but John can probably guess why. Guilt is a hell of a thing and John knows in an instant that he would’ve never wanted the roles reversed, would’ve never have wanted to have to--. “I need to talk to him,” and he’s not exactly thrilled with how desperate he sounds but he really doesn’t care right. He needs to talk to Rodney, needs to seehim, to tell him he did good. He starts pulling at all the leads and wires and Ronon is there again, a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him back down. “Let me talk to him first,” he says and even Teyla raises an eyebrow at that. Ronon isn’t exactly known for his uh, gentle nature, but when she meets John’s eyes, she gives him the slightest of nods. “Tell him to get his ass in here, or I’m gonna come find him myself,” John warns, but there’s no heat. The slight exertion has left him very nearly panting through a wave of pain. “I’ll be sure to pass on the message,” he says and without anything further, Ronon is gone. -- Rodney McKay isn’t known for his silence. He knows he’s a loud, obnoxious, abrasiveman even on his best day and yet ever since they’d returned from Plesia, he hadn’t been able to muster up the strength to even so much as raise his voice. It’s unnerving his scientists, he knows, but he doesn’t care. Mostly, he keeps to himself and keeps working, stopping only long enough for the occasional power nap and to replenish his supply of power bars. He’s just finished the aforementioned nap when Ronon finds
him, trudging back down to the laps to continue his work on the ancient device they’d found some time ago. He’s hoping that with enough tweaking, it can be used to send a patient into something sort of a temporary stasis, long enough to get them back through the Stargate where an actual fucking medical team can--. “McKay,” Ronon calls, but Rodney doesn’t stop. “Little busy, Chewie,” he calls over his shoulder but it lacks the usual McKay bite. “Sheppard’s awake.” Rodney does stop for that, but he doesn’t turn, shoulders tensing and he has to take a deep breath because he can feel something like panic trying to surge up again. “Is he--?” “Pissed? Yeah. Pissed that you weren’t there with us when he woke up.” “Well I’m sorry that some of us have actual work to do and can’t spend days--.” “You’re bein’ dumb.” Rodney whirls around at that, and he can feel the vein in his forehead throbbing in anger because he’s not--! He’s just--! “Sheppard probably wouldn’t have made it out of surgery without some major problems if we’d waited until the rain stopped. The Doc said so himself. Because of what you did, he’s got about another week of medicine and he’ll be back on his feet.” “I am not that kind of doctor,” Rodney reminds Ronon and he hates how he sounds in that moment, so, so upset. So weak. The weakest on the team, always. “You were the most qualified in that room to do what had to be done,” Ronon says and while that may actually be true, that won’t help when the nightmares come back. “You held it together better than either me or Teyla would’ve.” Rodney highly doubts that. “Listen,” Ronon says and this may be the most words Rodney’s heard him string together ever. “It sucked but it had to be done. You can’t keep beating yourself up for it.” We’ll see about that, Rodney thinks. “Thanks for the pep talk, Conan,” he says as he starts back for the labs. “You’re goin’ the wrong way. Infirmary’s that way.” Rodney doesn’t respond and he half expects Ronon to come after him, to throw him over his shoulder and haul him off to the infirmary, but a moment later, Rodney hears a quiet sigh and heavy footsteps falling away. He’s just not ready yet. -- Rodney might not be ready yet, but John’s never been the most patient person in the world. Especially not when it comes to Rodney. He’s tired, in pain, and annoyedby the time he makes it down to the labs, a trip that should’ve taken him five minutes on a good day but has taken nearly a half an hour for all the breaks he’s had to take to stop and lean against the wall. Carson’s going to have a field day when he comes back from surgery to find that John’s managed to sneak out, but he’ll just have to deal with that later. For now, the only thing he’s concerned about is Rodney. Atlantis takes pity on him and opens the door to the labs the minute she senses him approaching, allowing him to continue to hold on the wall as he slips inside and the minute he sees the slope of those shoulders in that blue shirt, any annoyance John had been feeling faded away. “Listen Teyla,” Rodney says and he sounds exasperated which leads John to believe that the Athosian has been down here plenty while he’s been holed up in the infirmary. He’s glad for that though. Means his people are taking care of each other. “I appreciate y--,” he turns and the words die in his throat. “Hi Rodney,” John greets, maybe a little dumbly and Rodney stands up so quickly that his stool topples backward. John thinks maybe he’s going to haul off and punch him, so he braces for impact, but when Rodney approaches, he grabs John’s arm and hauls it around his shoulder, giving him something else to lean against. “You’re supposed to be in the infirmary, you absolute idiot,” Rodney hisses and when he gets John seated on a stool, he moves to tap the communicator in his ear. “Rodney, wait!” And he reaches for the other, closing his hand around Rodney’s wrist. “Just… gimme a minute, okay?” Rodney hesitates, which is unusual for him. Rodney is always so sure of himself and quick to make
sure everyone knows it. Was this because of what happened on Plesia? “Listen,” John says and that’s about as far as he gets before Rodney is talking over him. “No! You listen, you, you, you irresponsible, stupid—” There’s a half a second that John wants to be offended and starts to respond in kind, but he stops himself because he realizes that Rodney needs this. That he’s been holding this in since they got back from that stupid planet. “You could have died! And not just from your stupid appendix, but your entire body could have gone into shock and you could have died! Because you were too stupid, too, too, too you to just go to the damn infirmary before we ever left!” “I know, Rodney and I’m –” “No! You don’t know. You have no idea!” He’s pacing now, wringing his hands together and John doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so upset. The thought that he’d been the one to cause that— “What if I’d been wrong, Sheppard? What if that had been for nothing? What if I’d—" “Rodney,” John says and he stands then, ignoring the way that the room spins just a little. “Listen to me, okay? I’m fine. You did everything right, and you probably saved me from a really shitty next few weeks, assuming I hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for you.” “But--.” “No buts,” John answers. “I’m sorry you had to do that, that I made you have to make that choice. You’re right, it was stupid to go off world without getting checked out first and I’m sorry, alright?” He reaches up, rubbing uncomfortably at the back of his neck. “I just… wanted to, you know, thank you for saving my ass out there. And to tell you that I’m really glad to know that no matter what, you’ve got my back.” And Rodney sags, all of the fight and the anger and maybe a little of the guilt too having gone out of him. “You’re… really alright?” “I’m really alright,” John promises him and this time, Rodney sags against the table, the tension leaving shoulders. “Thank God,” he breathes, and a breath later, “you owe me for this.” “Ah, there he is,” John says and he feigns annoyance, rolling his eyes. “No, no, you don’t understand. You owe me.” “I know, Rodney.” He doesn’t protest as Rodney comes around again, hauling John’s arm over his shoulder and as they begin to make their way from the science lab, back to John’s own quarters, John lets Rodney’s incessant babble wash over him. It felt good to hear it again, he realizes, even if he knows he’s never going to hear the end of this. And honestly? Well. He wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.
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