#sometimes its all i have. dont take my only joy from me.
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"you will look for themes and motifs in media that isn't worth the effort" i will look for themes and motifs in the dirt. on the ground.
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I’m sorry I just gotta say after your most recent post, I find that your head canons and personal stories for ocs and whatnot are top notch. Especially due to your wording. Love your stuff man your creativity always makes me smile /gen (I really do get a smile when you post, my friends always ask me why giggle and flap my hands when I visit tumblr!)
[P:S] your way of writing reminds me of Clown’s social media posts. If I were to find a couple words to describe it I’d go with “Whimsy”, and “daffy”!
AUGH!!!!
#Thank You! that means a lot!#very glad to hear that i can inspire that kind of joy <3#and that i can Entertain!#rambles from the bog#Whimsy and Daffy im-#ill take it!#i do indeed lack sense!#but yeah ive heard that similarity thing a couple times...#i think its the occasional Punctuation perhaps!#but yeah no in all honesty i dont get much... actual interaction with people#so my vocab inventory is. uh. Skewed. a little Strange i sometimes fear!#and i forget a lot of words that i Know so then i have to come up with a suitable replacement on the fly lmao#the only dialogue i reliably recieve on a daily basis is reading and watching tv! lots of it is Not Modern!#or the prose is just purple enough to make my brain go 'ahhh i see we gotta go floral w it' yk yk#which concerns me seeing as i may be Socializing soon... ive forgotten how to talk like a normal person <3#ANYWAY IM RAMBLING THANK YOU AGAIN!!!! i will be coming back to reread this ask!
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...
#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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ATLA Headcannons - Dating Them ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
These are all MY headcannons, and you dont have to agree on them :3
Aang ༄
-since you two are so young, it tends to be awkward at first
-hes very touchy, but he'll try his best not to show it
-he'd love to hug you by wrapping his arms around you waist and bringing you tight. the feeling of your cheek against his chest makes his stomach flutter
-if you're a non-bender, he'll be very protective towards you. if you were ever taken or lost, he'd behave just like when appa was stolen by the sand benders
-he spends most of his free time daydreaming about you
-'you've got, nice, uh, ears?'
-horrible at compliments
-you hear whenever he asks Sokka for crappy advice
-absolutely adores when your hair is down (fem)
-when it comes to liking guys, he prefers longer hair (masc)
-blushes when you ruffle his grown out hair
-he'll take you on rides on appa when you're feeling down
-'i'd love to try, but there's meat in the stew..'
-if you were a bender, he'd always be begging you to teach him moves and tactics even if you didnt know how to be an instructor
-loves skin to skin contact, and will press his bare chest against your back when sleeping
Sokka 𖦹
-the BIGGEST nagger
-can't ever stop moving while sitting around the fire
-won't keep his lips off yours when you're alone
-will fall head over heels for an angsty teen boy (masc)
-especially mean to you when he likes you, and teases you while dating
-thinks your aggression is hot
-very protective of you, even if you're strong/a warrior
-'shit- i mean uhm.."
-cussing problem
-both of you guys are stupid together, so when you were thirsty and dehydrated in the desert, you both got high on cactus juice
-'heh.. you see that flying shark cat?'
-loves seeing you embrace your feminine side (fem)
-love language is cooking for you, even if he sucks
-crappy pick up lines work but just because you think his attempt is cute
-'did i hurt when you fell from heaven?'
Zuko ☄
-not very open about his emotions in the beginning
-when he gets comfortable with you, he'll sometimes cry in your arms at night
-arm across your shoulders or around your waist CONSTANTLY.
-and when i mean constantly, i mean constantly.
-when hes fire lord, he'll have a designated room for whatever hobby you're passionate about
-'the greenhouse is just outside-' 'A GREENHOUSE?!'
-thinks stretch marks are the most beautiful thing
-can stare at your face for hours on end because hes so lost in your eyes
-loves doodling you in his notebooks
-if hes in an angry mood, he'll always have a soft spot for you
Katara ≈
-jealous jealous jealous girl
-love splashing you with water just to bother you
-runs her fingers through your hair at night to calm both of you down
-embarrassed when you catch her singing
-she hates it when you leave a mess
-super cuddly when tired
-loves stupid nicknames
-'whatever you say, princess.' 'what did you just call me?'
-loves telling stories you've heard 1000 times over and over again
-SUPER big hugger
-will elbow you when she can sense you're annoying someone
Toph ᨒ
-will always find a way to wind in an argument
-constantly using being blind as an excuse
-'i can't clean up the mess if i CAN'T SEE IT.'
-super giggly when you tell jokes, but only when its you
-jumps around with joy when she hears that you're gonna be joining the gaang on a mission
-hates when you hold her in your arms because she can't feel the floor
-women with deep voices make her weak in the knees (fem)
-unsurprisingly, fighting is one of her love languages -- she likes competing with her favorite people
-loves when you tell a story in detail, especially the juicy ones
-holds your hand whenever walking somewhere
Suki ❀
-loves spending time outdoors (picnic dates, walks, exploring)
-she loves putting you in makeup because you look ridiculous (masc)
-very inexperienced when it comes to romance
-'why are you kissing my neck? That's not where my lips are..'
-loses things CONSTANTLY and always makes you help her look for it
-loves dancing with you
-pathological liar, but only when it comes to stories
-'one time, i saw the unaki eat a child.'
-listening to rain and cuddling in front of a window makes her feel so happy
-loves taking care of children with you, and looks forward to having kids
-loves your corny jokes
...
BONUS!!
Sexuality headcannons..
Aang: unlabeled
he just sorta loves who he loves
Sokka: Bisexual with a preference for women
Says hes a ladies man, but will fall for a boy from time to time (*cough cough* zukka)
Zuko: Gay
Im sorry ladies but just LOOK AT HIM.
Katara: Pansexual
I love kataang with my whole heart so i couldn't really see her with anyone else, but if Aang wasn't in the picture she'd date a few girls
Toph: Lesbian
like cmonnnnn
Suki: Straight
im sorry but im a sucker for strong straight females
#aang#avatar the last airbender#fandom#fanfic#fluff#katara#sokka#sokka x reader#katara x reader#katara x aang#toph#toph x reader#atla suki#suki x reader#zuko#prince zuko#zuko x reader#headcanon
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Okay, review time!! If you are one of the oddballs who thinks you cant be critical of something you love I suggest you stop reading now before I ruffle your feathers. Iron flame, second in the empyrean series. I am gonna start with what I was not a fan of and then go into the shit I adored.
1) what in the actual fuck was the pacing of this book?? I can tell you what, it was non existent. There was none. Where I thought there was a lot of filler in the last book there was none in this one. We got snap shots of conversations and then *boom* more plot flew at you. The timeline of this book greatly suffered for it i think bc we end only a couple weeks, if that, after threshing, which happens sometimes in October. This book was actually so wild with times.
2) while it was a spectacular cliff hanger, xaden becoming venin pisses me off. Especially if Rebecca yarros isnt going to have him tell violet. Like if that small tid bit of a conversation we got wasnt him telling vi that he was venin then the entire romantic conflict of this book was rendered pointless and their going to be having the same fucking fight for the rest of the series and at rhat point I give up.
3) I understand that the revolution is trying to take down basgaith and make the world better or whatever the fuck but can someone actually formulate a real plan for me?? Because I feel like their mission is just, giving violet and xaden something to be pissed at each other about.
4) the entirety of cats character. I get that she was set up as a spin on the typical jealous ex. Like having her be bitter about xaden picking violet over her but OH WAIT it wasnt actually about the man it was about the crown, oohh not like other girls. Im a writer too I see the point. I dont care. I think it was trashy. If you wanted her to be a bitter spiteful ex then have her be a bitter spiteful ex, the whole crown thing was shallow.
OKAY haters your time is up now onto the shit that made my heart hurt with joy and sadness
1) xadens arc in this book. I really liked that he went from "transparency is never gonna happen" to losing his fucking mind over violet and giving her everything. I love feral men and he qualifies. I think his arc was really well done and i liked it.
2) I appericiate that violet stuck to her guns for this book. She wouldnt let xaden off without a fight and I loved that. She made him bow and scrape and I was eating it up. It was spectacular.
3) the throne room scene. Violet on the throne. "Im making a temporary point not a lasting vow of maschocism" xaden being feral.
4) that gets its own point actually, just xaden being completely feral this entire book healed a part of my soul.
5) andarna's little speech at the end where she was like "I waited for you violet" made me ugly cry. That was just so hopelessly good I loved it. Andarna in general heals my heart but that part was just *chefs kiss*
6) tarin being completely and utterly ready to eat people this entire book. Just, at every turn "I want lunch their pissing me off " was spectacular
7) every scene their squad was in. Rihannon, violet, sawyer and ridoc are my roman empire. Their bond is so amazing. The fact that they launched a rescue mission for violet. Rihannon being ready to kill xaden at every turn. Ridoc being so platonically and adorably in love with violet. Just- augh happy cries happy cries. I love it all. Their so special tbh.
8) I love xaden actually, just, the whole book every scene hes in lives in my brain.
9) I liked that we saw a small bit of violet being feral this book too. I hope that we get more of that in future books. I want more of violet losing her fucking mind. Hot, badass women covered in blood
10) Liam. Fucking Liam. When violet was kidnapped and Liam was there. Now, do I logically understand that he was a hallucination, yes, do i care?? No. He was a gift from Maleck I will be hearing no critiques on that. It was so fucking sweet and amazing. I love violet and Liam and Liam being dead so horribly breaks my heart. I loved Liam. Liams death lives rent free in my skull.
#i might add more to this later#please#i am begging yall#dont get weird#i am allowed to love this book and have critical opinions abt it#if i start getting threats about my fandom opinions again i might lose my mind#haters get fucked#anyways#i need the third book right now and the fact that i wont get it until next year kills me a little#i loved iron flame#i loved fourth wing#xaden riorson#violet sorrengail#violet and xaden#fourth wing#iron flame#book review#iron flame review#🪓
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Every End Is The Beginning Of The Next End.
Alastor x Fem! Reader
Warnings:choking, swears, injuries, mind breaking, slightly gore.
Notes: I hope you will like it! It is one-shoot, i dont plan to write another chapter.(⌐■-■)
Who knew that Alastor could be interested in an ordinary person. A person who, due to the loss of herself and going crazy from failures, summoned a demon to sell him her soul. Is this advisable? You didn’t care. And now you are reaching out your shaking hand to the demon to make a deal. A bright green light illuminates your dark room, the demon takes on a more eerie form, but you don’t care. You look at him with an empty look. The look of a dead, hopeless human.
Alastor's dark red eyes sparkled in the darkness, studying you.Your emotionless face, empty eyes...He saw many humans with who he made a deal, but you..You were sometimes new. Everyone were asking for a fame, money, strength! But you...you asked him to bring a little love to your life, wich surprised him.You wanted to sell your soul...for a 1 year of comfort and relationship?! Its so pathetic for him, but also so amusing.
You never got enough love in your childhood, parents always arguing, always at work, never have enough time for you, never here... You never felt true love and care, without help of someone close to you, you fell to this pit of darkness, suffer and destruction.
At the time when deal was settled, Alastor disappeared in shadows, leaving you alone, but watched...
Year felt like eternity.You found a guy who loved you and you felt yourself answering his love.You forgot about all the problems and horrors that you had in the past.Sweet talks, perfect mornings, you felt like you are in heaven, it was a perfect life.You already forgot about the deal.All you thought about was your partner. About the one who brought you joy.
All this time, Alastor was watching you from the shadows. He gave you the opportunity to live this goal in joy, as it was said in the deal.. He was amazed at how a person changes, giving him just a little love. He even found something in it....humorous....but..No matter how strange and unusual it was for a demon, he began to have feelings for you... strange feelings. He began to be annoyed by how happy you looked with this man. he should be in his place. he has your soul. Only he is in the right to evoke emotions in you.
In the last week of the year, he reminded of himself. You stood at the mirror and straightened your clothes, when suddenly your reflection began to blur and soon Alastor appeared instead of your reflection... You took a few steps back, almost falling. His grin widened slightly. He tilted his head to the side, as if mocking your fear.
"...What do you want...time is not up yet." You asked, raising your head slightly to slightly hide your fear, but this only caused the demon to chuckle. You heard his radio voice sound in your head, but the reflection in the mirror did not move its mouth. "Ah, darling, I know, I just wanted to remind you that your joys will soon come to an end."
“I know without you... Disappear.” Alastor frowned. He was angry at your insolence. You suddenly felt like you were lacking oxygen, you fell to your knees in front of the mirror, leaning your hands on the floor. Something was choking you, your eyes widened in fear , you felt cold, as if you had been sent outside in summer clothes in winter. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, you shouldn’t talk like that to someone who has you on a leash.”
You felt tears appearing in the corners of your eyes, you somehow raised your head and looked in the mirror. Alastor was still there with a sadistic grin. His eyes were narrowed in mockery. "P-please....Al-Alastor..."
"Address me right." His radio voice echoed in your head.You felt your strength leaving you.
"M-master.. s-sto-"
"Wrong"
You felt the invisible grip on your throat become stronger. A few more seconds and you will lose consciousness.
"Excuse me, m-master..F-forgive me for my i-ignorance!!!"
You finally took a deep breath, feeling that access to oxygen was no longer blocked.You lowered your head down, not wanting to look at the demon.Alastor watched your every move, he took great pleasure in the concept that you were in his power. It was something different, not what he usually felt when he played with his other victims.
The rest of the week was like hell, Alastor did not let you enjoy it. Every time he came into your dream, causing you horror just from his demonic appearance... No, not from the usual one, but from his full form.. Those big horns. ..fingers...no, they’re not even fingers, but long claws. He showed up in reflections every time. Just when you didn’t expect to see him there. Your boyfriend was of course worried about your condition, but you said that “Everything is fine, dear, I just didn't get enough sleep..."
It was the evening of the last day. You felt broken.You quarreled with your boyfriend, he said that he was disgusted with a person like you.
"I don't know what happened to you, but it's not you. You disgust me."
"B-but-"
"That's enough. I'm leaving."
You were lying on the sofa, your eyes swollen from crying, your hair disheveled, dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep.You felt exactly the same as when you made a deal with the demon.Your hand lay on top of your face. You didn’t want to see anything.You wanted all of this already to end.
A hot tear slowly flowed from your face.Sound of wind playing with curtains was heard in the dead silence..You were going through the memories of how well you spent this year. Smile...Joy...you felt cold.No.Not because it was cold at home.Because of the fear.
You felt someone's presence next to the sofa.
"Here is my end" You understood, not opening your eyes.A graceful wave of your hand... A second and the sofa was covered in your blood. Alastor stood near the sofa, which was now completely covered in blood, leaning on his cane.
"It is not end, my dear.This is the beginning of the end."
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x you#alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#alastor x y/n#alastor x you
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what do you do for a living? (/job?) I am currently in a crisis and need some guidance. I look up to you a lot, I love your blog, we have the same passions for poetry and writing and music, even daredevil! My crisis is that I dont know what to do. In university I take classes but I dont know what I want to be. My art and writing feel pointless sometimes. All the jobs i want to do I know im not skilled enough to achieve or itd be very hard to get by. If you dont mind giving out advice... please help! ❤
hi anon <3 i think that figuring out what we're supposed to do for a living often gets tied to the idea that we're supposed to find that one niche in the world where we fit, where we're meant to be and where we're meant to contribute; where we're meant to shine, and find deep meaning in our own lives. and maybe that does happen for some people. but in reality i think we're all capable of doing many different things, and finding purpose in many different things. and in working toward many different skillsets we acquire different skillsets that apply to many other types of work.
and i don't think anything is ever set in stone. i got my undergrad & grad degrees in music, and then i found that i didn't have it in me to be a part of that world anymore. and i felt that i had no meaning in my life without it. i was No One without music, i had no identity outside of my voice—despite the deep sense of purpose and fate, even, that i felt for my life up until that moment in music, in singing, in acting. up until that moment i knew in my bones my purpose in life. and then the ground was swept out from under me. it didn't matter that i had known with certainty what my life was supposed to be because it wasn't that any longer. and i realized that i could never again tie my identity to my art, to my music, to my writing, to my job. my voice has a purpose not because it must be enough to sustain me financially or because enough people have validated my talent but because it brings me joy. i came back to music because singing brought me joy again; i thought i would never feel that again.
something i have learned through this is 1) music, like most other art forms, is not a meritocracy; there is no such thing as "you are an excellent [artist/singer/writer] and therefore you will have the career owed to you" because so much more than merit and hard work go into careers like this. it takes not only talent and work ethic but circumstance and luck and wealth. lessons cost money, coachings costs money, auditions cost money, applications cost money, travel costs money, wardrobe costs money. 2) the process is not the career. i love to practice, i love to learn music, i love to get into character, and to engage with my colleagues in rehearsal rooms and onstage. i don't love the abuse thrown at singers from directors and teachers and coaches, i don't love auditions, i don’t love the unpredictability of gig work and contract work, i don't love the expendable lens through which singers are viewed by the industry. i've come back to music but my goals have shifted.
all that to say, i don't think we have to know what we want to be. we don't have to want to be anything. our lives have deep meaning whether we have "successful" careers or careers that just pay the bills while we continue to pursue our creative loves. i wouldn't place too much importance on needing to find what you are supposed to be because you will become who you are supposed to be regardless. it is never a waste to pursue something we love, and we will acquire and internalize new skills in any field that we can apply to other fields. and maybe your interests will dramatically shift, or maybe not. i think it's very natural to have vocational shifts throughout our lives, and it's not indicative of failure. art that is made personally or professionally doesn't have more or less value based on its financial profit. the money i make from singing isn't enough to sustain me—i have to do other self-employment gigs to make up the difference. most artists do. but i don't regret the time and the heart i have invested in music, and i am sustained through the work i put into it, and sustained by the relationships and friendships that i have developed through it.
i send you my whole heart. i know how it feels to look at the future and not know what you're supposed to do with your one, precious life. sometimes we have to live in the uncertainty and know that it won't be like that forever. on the flip side, the moments of certainty won't last forever either. and in-between there is all the living we do. i promise you're not alone in this <3
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i find myself lately frustrated with my writing; it feels like nothing i am producing is right....im not liking any of it, and its frustrating and sad because i used to really like it but dont know where stuff went wrong. im trying to take a break but its hard because trying to fill the times where im usually writing with something else makes me feel empty :/
I'm sorry you're going through all of this, anon. This feels like a lot to deal with.
In a situation like this, it can be helpful to look at each piece of the puzzle and see which one you're able to deal with right now and which ones you'll need to come back to later when you're up to it.
You're frustrated because it feels like nothing you're creating is right. The key here is figuring out what's wrong with it. Is it a story that you're not interested in anymore? Is there a plot point that you wrote out that you don't like anymore but it feels like a lot of work to go back and revise the story to take it out? Are characters feeling "off" in some way? Does it feel like it's missing something and you can't figure out what? Depending on your answers, the way to resolve this might be putting the story aside. But it might also be abandoning the story altogether or gutting it fairly significantly in order to keep the parts that you do like in order to get rid of the stuff that you don't.
You used to like it and you don't know where it went wrong. It might be that plot point issue I mentioned above, or it could be another factor. How are you feeling about the fandom in general? About your life external to fandom? Unhappiness in other areas of our lives can cause frustration in the places where we used to find happiness. Are you feeling sadness, frustration, and discontent about other things you used to enjoy? Do you have stresses in your life that might be affecting you? This one might require you to talk to someone about what's going on.
You're trying to take a break but it's hard. Fandom is a wonderful community full of joy and giving. But it's also a community where we can sometimes pressure ourselves too much. Sometimes taking a break can feel like you'll lose your audience - like they'll forget you when you're gone. Sometimes taking a break can make you feel guilty because all you can think about are the people who are waiting on the next story or the next chapter. When you're tired and frustrated and sad, you need to stop thinking about others and start focusing on yourself. There's no shame in needing a rest. Everyone does sometimes. And as for losing your audience, a lot of them will still be there when you return and the ones who left might be replaced by new people who will just be discovering your art.
You feel empty when you're not writing, so you can't think of another way to fill your time. What parts of writing fill you up? What about it gives you energy or inspiration or happiness? Is it the moments where you're imagining? The moments when you're crafting sentences? Is it the moments when you're talking to a friend about the next plot point or cackling over how people will react to your cliffhanger? Is it seeing kudos and comments come into your inbox? Seeing your fic get talked about on tumblr? Depending on what parts of writing satisfy a need inside of you, the way you fill that time will differ. If you need the creative outlet, doing something else creative like painting or baking or gardening etc. might help. If it's the parts surrounding friendships, then spending time doing things with people you care about might help. If it's about the attention you get from your fellow fans, look into some kind of performance outlet - either in person or via social media. Figure out what you need first and it'll be that much easier to get it.
You might only have to look at one of these items. You might need to consider them all. Either way, you can't really solve the problem until you figure out what it actually is.
It's been a long time since you sent this in, anon, and i'm so sorry for the delay. I hope you're in a better mental place now and that you're found your way to whatever your next joyful moment might be.
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Who are the people that Toby likes the most?
Natalie, Jack, and Ben!
Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .
toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.
they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.
toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.
jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").
of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!
they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")
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colourfulness.
ADD COLOUR. ADD A RHYTHM. ADD A BEAT.
colour is not something that always has to relate to things we can see with our physical eye or a literal colour e.g red.
ADD COLOUR • realisation of the beauty in ordinary life, small moments, the wistful nature of life.
i personally like to perceive colour as in-tune with life. colour is everywhere i go, it’s there when i wake up and i open the window for the breeze to enter and take me by it’s hands. it awakens me when i feel glum, colour is when there when i laugh so hard, when i eat my favourite foods, when i enjoy my favourite films. its seeps through the cracks of joy that i experience and comes to witness it.
realising the beauty of the mind & life is colour
to me colour is what makes my world light up, it is something i will never let go of.
ADD A RHYTHM • implement pockets of love, do something for the sake of doing it. change the pattern.
"Look at you. You're young. And you're scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realise that you can do whatever you want?" — Louise Flory
adding a beat is vital. there comes a point in life where there is a empty hole, we sometimes grieve over that empty hole as it wasn’t always a hole- at one point in our lives it was filled with something great. and when we lose that certain great thing it’s hard to get back up again & in that moment you have to realise that you can implement pockets of love. you can do it any area of your life, my personal way is by making a warm bowl of porridge with strawberries, honey & dried fruit to fill me up because it’s love. learning to take a break and to prevent myself from feeling drained out constantly is love. telling myself that everything will eventually be okay is love.
we can always change the pattern in our lives. WE ARE NOT STUCK!! YOU ARE NOT STUCK!! we do not have to be the person we are if we dont want to be, if we feel stagnant we can become fluid. if i want to get up one day and change my style, my mind, my hobbies. I CAN! i can. i absolutely can.
ADD A BEAT • implement pockets of love, do something for the sake of doing it. change the pattern.
“I did not give to anyone the responsibility for my life. It is mine. I made it. And can do what I want to with it. Live it. Give it back, someday, without bitterness, to the wild and weedy dunes.” — Mary Oliver
something i had to re-discover was life and no not the timetable planner life with everything sorted but just life. in itself. life is rigid, it has its sharp edges. but it also has it’s softness and vulnerability. it welcomes me with open arms and it will not let me go.
life shall continue. i cant stop it, it’ll only continue. now i can either let life pass me by and watch by the sidelines or jump in and take hold of what i want my future to look like.
I choose the latter.
and i give myself everything— every tiny little thing i could possibly want i give myself the feeling of that without any residue of guilt, embarrassment or unworthiness.
I ask myself “what would i like to be?” and answer it in FEELING. I accept the joy, the blissfulness, the warm essence of my imagination and i live in it. I LIVE IN IT.
summary:
adding a bit of colour (the simplicity of life) adding a beat (doing what you love) and adding rhythm (giving what we deeply want to ourselves) are like the ingredients to life. they’ll teach you, make you question, make you think. they’re all equally beautiful as individuals but together can change everything including your perspective on what matters & what doesn’t.
#law of assumption#manifestation#affirmations#dream life#manifesting#neville goddard#life goals#success story#law of attraction#peace and love#romanticizing life#self improvement#self care#self concept
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hiii!! can u do chuuya x reader who likes painting? fem reader or gn i dont mind! 🫶🏾
!Chuuya With An S/O Who Likes To Paint!
Scenario:- hcs of chuuya with an s/o who loves painting!
Pairing:- chuuya x gn!reader
Genre:- fluff
Type:-headcanons
A/N:-HI ANON AND THANK YOU FOE THE REQUEST!ik its late but I hope you like it!pls feel free to lmk your thoughts on it!
I feel like chuuya definitely appreciates the arts,so if you liked painting he’d totally be supportive!
As a hobby or even if you wanted to do it professionally,he wants you to follow your dream and be happy
I feel like he’d be the perfect reference for like poses and things,if that makes sense????? Like his figure and stature just seem perfect in that way for me!
Wouldn’t mind bein your reference tbh.he loves your art anyway and him bein able to be that much of an integral part in it would probably make him smile internally!
Yall go on lil days out to buy supplies and even he takes a look around the place and falls in just as much love with it as you do(was it because the place elicited so much joy from you that it brightened the entire city???? Maybe~)
If there are lil tools and stuff he wants to know the use of he’ll just ask you straight away.
Eventually you get him to agree to try it!
So that day you pick out an extra canvas or water colour pad and some paints,brushed and the whole shebang for him and you go home with everything gathered in your arms!
I feel like chuuya is definitely a doodler so he starts with that,just doodling on maybe a watercolour pad and painting it in.
Baby steps ofc.
Vent painting sessions!
Like when the both of you cant sleep or are feeling particularly stressed,you’ll go over to your supplies and paint out your feelings!
This is one of the only times he manages to outdo you!
We all know chuuya’s expressive,and he kinda basically wears his heart on his sleeve,in a sense; so naturally, he was great at expressing his emotions.
The colours on his canvas blended perfectly and the aggressive strokes just added to the effect!
He’d effectively depicted his feelings before you, and the result was just as beautiful as he was~
Wine and painting
Like on calmer nights yall just grab ur paints and he pours out glasses of wine for you both(IF YOU ARENT AT THE LEGAL DRINKIN AGE IN YOUR COUNTRY, YOU GET A MOCKTAIL OR NON ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE)
Its a great way to unwind and let loose tbh,maybe you’ll even have some music playing in the background to suit your mood.
Your shared apartment has paintings EVERYWHERE
Like all over the walls,in the toilet , and honestly anywhere it could be displayed tbh!
You make sure to hang his ones up aswell ,and in places where they’ll be completely visible too!
Okay no but like,imagine him in a loose white shirt and his hair in a messy bun???his sleeves rolled up and paint just all over his arms and some on his clothes and face???? And he doesnt even knoe because he’s so concentrated on what he’s doing????
(GODDAMIT WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF NOW I CANT STOP IMAGINING HIM LIKE THAT!)
Painting and personalising plain clothes and tee shirts for eachother!
Oh and havin your own specific clothes for painting sometimes? Like these clothes have random paint splotches on em and stuff!
OH IMAGINE like chuuya gets late to come home or hes on long mission and since you miss him a little you wear his shirt and start painting (if you’re bigger than him,then you wear it as like an overshirt or tie it around your waist{honestly anything to make it feel like hes there})
And then he walks in the door and you go up to hug and welcome him
He notices its his shirt and smirks before leaning into kiss you saying, “Missed me that much huh?”
Ooh little paint fights would be ADORABLE like you put a dot of paint on his cheek and he then puts one on you and it goes back and worth until you’re both just a laughing mess on the floor.
Honestly chuuya with a reader who paints has now blessed my mind so thank you anon!
__________________________________________
Tagging: @kajiyashikiazeru
All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.
#📬jaya answers#🖤anon#🐶🐕jaya’s bungou stray dump🐕🐶#📚jaya’s tales#bsd#bsd x reader#bsd chuuya nakahara#bsd x reader hcs#nakahara chuuya x reader#chuuya x you#chuuya nakahara x reader#chuuya nakahara fluff#chuuya fluff#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x y/n#chuuya x reader#chuuya hcs#bsd x reader fluff#bsd x reader headcanons#bsd x gn reader#bungou stray dogs chuuya nakahara#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanfic#bsd oneshot#bsd drabble#bsd headcanons#bsd chuuya x reader#bsd imagines#bungou stray dogs x you
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this might seem some stupid teenage problem to you but how do i deal with my friends having boyfriends and girlfriends while im just depressingly lonely as hell? i mean we still talk but im just scared that they'll just pay more attention to theie boyfriends and girlfriends coz they did that the last time we went to our friend's house for karaoke. its not a bad thing to pay attention to boyfriends and girlfriends but sometimes i just feel left out. plus my friends used to joke abt me being single when i already feel like shit because im single and the only relationship i had was with a boy that i literally regretted to get together with bc he wasn't even a decent person to me. they don't make jokes like that anymore when i had enough and told them to stop it. idk if im being clingy at all but its like i just feel left out coz last time we went to have karaoke at my friend's house some of them just straight up pay more attention to their boyfriends and girlfriends and idk i just feel left out mostly bc it kinda feels like i have no one to talk to atp. again im not saying it's a bad thing but how can i stop feeling left out? and why's being gay kinda hard? most of my friends r in hetero relationships and they had it easy. the only relationship i had was with my toxic childhood friend who wasn't a decent person. plus everytime i like a girl, either they're lgbtq+ but just like boys more, straight or a piece of shit. why's it so hard for me to have a girlfriend? is it because im ugly? awkward? too introverted? or maybe the fact that i kinda suck at socializing bc i literally dont socialize alot? everything always goes wrong for me in my love life while my friends have it easy. im sorry if its too long
Forgive typos. I’m on my phone. And tired.
First. Big butch mom hugs to you. Take a breath and read this.
You are not by any means alone. And even in adulthood. Those of us grownups who are single often find ourselves lamenting the “loss” of a friend who is in a néw relationship. That friend is still our friend but her time is suddenly drastically limited. My best friend who was single for 12 years was my constant companion. Now she’s finally found love and two years in I’ve spent a total of maybe 6 hours with her. And it’s never just her and I. It’s only in group gatherings. It’s sad and hard to say the least. It’s feeling lonely even as I try to let other friends step in. The space she occupied will always be hers.
High school. College. Youthful friend groups tend to be much wider and less static. A constant refreshing of new love interests and I do remember those who dates feeling very intense emotions both at the start and end of such couplings. When you’re the single one you never the priority to others because they are expending so much time and energy to the mostly futile attempt to make fleeting romances work out. You don’t require energy since they assume (albeit unconsciously) you will just be there. Which is not fair. Friendship requires attention.
Sometimes we just have to toss ourselves into our own joys. Go to things you love alone. Have coffee. Enjoy a meal. Don’t sequester yourself to the internet to find connections. Be okay with you. Eventually others wil come in your life.
Do not date just to not be alone. Being miserable in a relationship is worse than just staying single and loving time with yourself.
I won’t lie and tell you loneliness will just abate. But I can say it won’t be forever. And friends will evolve and shift your entire life. You take all the good things. And bad from each one into the next and learn who and what enhances your life the most.
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if asexuality or aversion to sex comes from trauma, that is absolutely something a therapist and you are supposed to address, that's not queerphobia and equating it to conversion therapy is kinda disgusting and queerphobic itself lmao
That is not what I said in the slightest, to a point where im questioning if youre asking me this in good faith at all. Please actually read and/or reread the words I typed before accusing me of things like this. My initial post was not even worded in a way that was vague enough to be misinterpreted this way.
If you still don’t understand how misguided you are, here is my attempt at putting it more clearly :
Yes, aversion to sex and/or romance and lack of sexual/romantic desires can come from trauma. Therapy can help that, if you find the right therapist. However, from my own experiences, I can tell you that the way a lot of therapists approach this is at best, ineffective, and at worst, downright retraumatizing. If sex and/or romance makes you uncomfortable, being convinced to take part in sexual/romantic acts without you having desires for it or being downright averse to it is a recipe for disaster (for most people). It just puts you into more non-consensual and traumatizing positions. That is what exposure therapy is, and that is what most therapists have tried (and sometimes succeeded) to do to me. Horrible experience, would not recommend to anyone. This approach tries to cure the symptom instead of the issue, and is deeply based in ace/arophobia (seeing “fixing” a lack of attraction as more urgent and important than addressing the source of the issue, the actual trauma).
Also, no. If someone doesn’t feel like fixing their trauma for any reason, nobody should push them to. A therapist can absolutely inform the patient on the benefits of doing so, but trauma work is incredibly hard, very much a long-term thing, and can put the patient in an extremely vulnerable headspace. It’s the mental equivalent of breaking a bone to set it right again. For an abuse victim who just got out of that situation, it is completely understandable for them to want to enjoy their new-found freedom and joy as much as they can, for as long as they want. Pushing them towards trauma work without the right environment, mindset or literally anything else they feel might make this not the right time for it can cause further damage, especially knowing how the current psychiatric institution works.
Asexuality and aromanticism, however, do not come from trauma, or any other neurological differences. It might be affected by it, and people with life experiences similar to aro and/or ace people are welcomed in the community (for exemple, sexual and/or domestic abuse survivors that are sex/romance averse), but it is not caused by it. Most therapy settings are not informed about asexuality, and assume it is a symptom of a underlying issue, that needs to be fixed. The same kind of exposure therapy that I talked about earlier is often used to “cure” aro and/or ace people, putting them those same non-consensual and traumatizing situations. That is conversion therapy, and medical use of coerced corrective rape. These therapists are, often with methods similar to gaslighting (and I use the original meaning of the word here, not the diluted tiktok version of it), convincing people to do sexual and/or romantic acts that they have no desire to do, to fix an issue that doesn’t exist, with the explicit goal of making someone not queer. Please explain to me how that is not conversion therapy.
Other forms of arophobia and acephobia are prevalent in psychiatric institutions as they are today, tho I wouldn’t call most of those conversion therapy. You only need to look at the notes on my post to see what I’m talking about.
I genuinely hope that this is a formative experience for you, and that in the future, you learn to actually read what is written before you send messages like this. Have a good day.
#amatonormativity#acephobia#arophobia#aromantic#aromantism#asexual#asexuality#traumapunk#trauma survivor#psychpunk#solanswers
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hey! ik you work at a school and based on how you post about it, you really care a lot about your job and it seems like the kids really like and trust you. i'm about to start a job as a para working 1:1 w/ a middle schooler, and my prior experience is all tutoring college students- do you have any tips on getting kids that age to engage w/ you? im worried ill be awkward around him and he'll think im cringe 😭 would really appreciate any advice u have to give
middle schoolers are developmentally in a place where they are experimenting with independence for the first time. they will test rules, boundaries, expectations. be clear and consistent but not rigid. if you make it integral to your relationship and their success that they tell you what motivates them, they have agency, and that you want to work WITH them, they may not believe that immediately but the more you prove it the easier it will be to know how to support them.
if you know anyone who has worked with this student before, ask about and be ready to filter the information you learn. I ask questions like "do you remember a day that was successful, and how did you get there?". ask "was there a time you felt that you connected?". "What strategies did you find helpful?".
I don't always agree with all of my colleagues in their approach or their view of the kid in front of them, but that doesn't mean I can't learn from them and apply it in my own way. about the same student, I was warned that successful only happened when they were elevated by using a neutral tone and that they will try to trick me so be aware of that. another said that they are very funny and sometimes needs pressure to be grounded- when I suggested a weighted shoulder blanket, she lit up and said "that would be an awesome idea!!". another colleague said that they do very well with expectations given in the form of "If X happens, my expectation is to [action]". I can keep all of these things in mind and also not let them be more deciding than the kid that I will have in front of me.
You have your own style and that can be translated to a lot of ages if you take steps to learn to communicate with them and dont make them feel stupid or inexperienced. I invite suggestions and try to apply their voice as appropriate and safe. I don't make promises I can't keep, and if I can't keep them I am upfront about it. Model integrity and honesty.
Also, because of the rapid development both hormonally, socially, physically, 6th, 7th, and 8th are all WILDLY different. The ways I can talk to my 8th graders about deeply personal social-emotional reflections doesn't look the same my 6th or 7th graders. You'll naturally find out where your student lies in terms of maturity and understanding, and there will be a LOT of growth in a single year.
Kids will accept and grow fond of your cringe if they know you express it in solidarity and from a willingness to learn. Anything will be cringe if they want to haze you for it, including things YOU SEE THEM DOING ALL THE TIME 🤣 I tell my kids all the time that there are things that come naturally to them that amaze me and impress me that I don't know about. I put my kids in positions to be teachers. Being cringe is a natural part of working with kids and its ok to be silly and weird IF you are there for them when it counts. IF you don't patronize, condescend, or talk down to them. They are intelligent, thoughtful, and often know much much more than they ever say. They are extremely resilient. they will genuinely think you are just as likely 17 or 40 years old no matter what age you are. Don't worry about being awkward or cringe, take steps to understand the passions and joys of your students. Be willing to suck at things they excel at. Be willing to play basketball with them even though you suck ass, and ask them how to improve. Be willing to make bracelets that are so fucking ugly they're worth laughing about while they're making 400-braid works of art. Acknowledge when they have skills you aren't familiar with. They will learn to appreciate yours if they know you see theirs.
They don't accuse me of being lame when I act goofy, to them it's just part of who "Mr. Jack" is. I'm not above getting pranked. I'm not above getting razzed on. Im not above getting something wrong. I'm a professional who knows how to navigate systems and wants to share that with them. I explain why things happen. I answer "why" with a genuine, thoughtful response. Middle schoolers always want to know why, and if they don't know why by the time they get to high school because it's been held hostage by people in power, they believe there is no "why". I never say "just because" or "It's the right thing to do". I say what will come out of it. If I ever have to report something happening or have to have another colleague help with a mandated reporting/need help from social work to wrap around, I never just do it. I say things like "you know, X is someone I really trust and respect here. They have more information than I do and I think if we worked together we would be able to really find a solution, can we try to do that". I explain that I will never abandon them or shove them on others or destroy our trust, but I have Profesional obligations and that I will walk through the whole process with them. I have sat in ambulances with kids. I have stayed into the night at hospitals with kids. I have exercised my right to refuse to send a kid home out of an immediate safety concern and updated them the entire time what every call I made was about, what I did and did NOT share, checked in with them... and my worst fear of ruining my relationship with a kid and destroying their trust has not happened because I make sure that the pieces are not moving around them while they are helpless. So much is already out of their control.
I have coached multiple students who admitted to me that they vaped or smoked, and i think this is a good example of applying that mindset: My job isn't tell them to stop because it's bad. My job is to say "look, I'm not going to say what everyone else has told you or pretend that I've never done something that could harm my body. Anything you do, I want you to do research and use that to decide what is worth it." And I share knowledge, we get to the root of it, we talk about the reasons, we talk about the risks. One of my students who smoked nicotine without parents knowing didn't know that it would seriously impact a surgery they had coming up that they had been waiting for their whole life and were excited for. Me sharing that information not with the threat of consequences but with a need for them to understand how to move forward was how we got to develop a plan to quit that was seen through.
Sorry that was a lot of rambling!! Basically work as a team and find ways to come up with strategies together. You can be professional, "in charge", and provide direction without insulting the newly budding agency your middle schoolers are unfortunately learning that they don't have in a lot of environments. Start EVERY SINGLE DAY new. I have bad days and have cried because of how hurtful something was from a student, but I don't let that stop me from greeting them in the morning, or feeling like they have a right to education, or that they can't try to do things differently. They're incredibly impulsive, and you will have an hour long conversation that seems to really sink, and the second you get out of the room they will still immediately do the thing they shouldn't. Over time with consistency they really do change, and it's normal for that to not be always immediate. Days, weeks, years... sometimes you won't even see that growth, and that's really hard, but you have to trust that it will happen.
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Dark!Romana's Best-Of 2023
Hello my friends! I started this acount in april to write the wrong way and never expect the outpuring of love I got!
I saw these types of things from various moots and thought I'd do one!
Thank you for all your're support!
Best Series
Easy, hands down The Wrong Way! I can never express the love I have for all of you who supported me through the journey that was TWW. I cried so often, I laughed with Lorenzo, I hurt for little one, I emphathized with Tommy,my heart even hurt for Joel sometimes. The art you guys have made, the way y'all theorize and discussed it... Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, you all brought so much joy to me through this series when I was going though unspeakable pain. TWW helped me make sense of a lot of my trauma, and I hoped, at least for some of you, if you related to little one like I do, you find healing in your lives.
Best one shot
Hard choice, but Apple takes the cake. In it, reader is Santi's wife and they play out a cnc fantasy with the help of Will and Frankie. Things devolve, they get gay (bc it's me) and readers safe word is ignored. I love how deliciously smutty it was, the dirty talk, puppy!frankie, the gay... good stuff!
Underratted fic
GAURD DOG! Raider Joel raids the wrong house, gets non conned by reader. Turns out, he likes turning his mind off. By chapter 2 he's fully colalred, going into full pet play! For some reason, these never hit never hard. I think everyone likes dom joel which is totally fair!
Overrated fic
TBH this account doesnt get like. A WHOLE LOT of interaction which is totally okay! But if I had to pick one that I'm like oh? This is the one y'all like? Was Finish the Job. Granted, its Jake mother fucking lockly and yandere, but still I didn't think it was another CRAZY you know? still, over 200 notes which is good for me!
No collabs like I did on my main for this section, but maybe someone would like to collab in the future?
New blorbos
It was the year of JOEL MILLER! Fics like Don’t You Worry Your Pretty Little Mind where DBF Joel breeds you and turs you into his submissive house wife I think are some of my best, but I also like ones like Dirty Little Secret or Cry Harder are fun for pushing the boundaries
Tommy Miller hasn't had his own fic yet, but dont you worry. Not onyl does he get action twice (2x) in TWW, but also is having a great time in Blessed be the Fruit, fucking not only reader (OfJoel) but his own handmaid, Angela.... and soon, both
Will Miller, my love! He got his first peice as the main antagonist in Apple, but he's also featured as one of the four in my new series, Room's on Fire! Will is gentle to reader, soothing her... he's on her side, right?
THANK YOU ALL FOR AN INCREDIBLE YEAR!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS V MUCH!
I hope next year I can deliver on ROF and other works, and I wanna spend more time reading and making friends here <3 love you all.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#tommy miller#tommy miller x reader#the last of us fanfiction#santiago garcia#santiago garcia x reader#william miller#william miller x reader#francisco morales x reader#triple frontier#triple frontier fanfiction#sub joel miller#dark reader#non con#dark tlou#dark!joel#the last of us hbo#joel miller fic
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