#someone send me satan pics | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koolades-world · 1 month

Note

Hihihihi, in case ya remember me, im the Pain-sensitive anon, and in case i will request again remember me as BigS, because my requests are as big as my S, but enough about that.

Poor you, so many requests. Drink water, be stronger that those 637181 requests, don't let them kill you!!!

But im here to torture you with another one~

So i have an album with 3814 Asmodeus screenshots(I FKIN LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!!), and i had an idea "dam, if Asmo became real, it would be very hard to explain why i have 4k pics with him... " So here is request!

Brothers, finding out that MC's new hyperfixation is... them?

Apparently MC is neurodivergent or something like that, and as many neurodivergent ppl, they have a hyperfixation! They just randomly becoming very interested in something specific and collect stuff with it, talk with everyone about it, and remember every single detail about it! Like Levi with TSL.

But one day, brothers realise that MC stopped talking about their past fixation and was less interested with it. They think that "Oh, they probably just found something new!". But one day, they take MC's phone just to find that... They have a giant album in their gallery that is dedicated only to him????

The album has every photo he posted on Devilgram, every photo that he send MC, some unique photos that MC shooted themselves, even some chat screenshots with times when he said something cute to them! They even was photographing thigs that "reminds of him". Like some cheeseburger with "Beel vibes", Blue flower that "Looks like Luci" or gorgeous mannequin that "feels like Asmo".

If its someone like Asmo, he would also notice thta MC started buying their fanclub's merch! Like "Asmo lover #1" shirt or "Lucifer best man!!"cup(Luci is very popular, he probably also has some fanclubs! i hate this guy tho)

I think Levi and Mammon would die from embarrassment. Asmo would die out of happiness and Satan with Luci will try to pretend like thay never saw that. and idk about other ones. :P

I think that would make a cute fluff and a very scary situation if it was real uwu

Thats all

Have a nice dayyyyyyyyyyyy~~~

-BigS aka.AlgophobicDude

hey! great to hear from you again :)

haha thank you! been slowly knocking out requests one at a time and let me tell you it's a lot more fun than it might look haha

i wrote this while wearing a pink cowboy hat. i just wanted to share that

you got it! enjoy!!

Mc with a hyperfixation on the brothers

Lucifer

is this a human thing?

he's happy to indulge you as long as you're not too loud about it out in public

especially please don't share those pictures with anyone, like mammon. he will sell those, especially the ones he only intends for you. please

he's happy you don't hate him, actually. you make this old man very happy haha

Mammon

he would never tell you, but he's also got a photo album dedicated to you

also has a note on his D.D.D. full of all the things he never said to you but hopes to be brave enough to one day to tell you

he doesn't tell you he's got that though, not in a million years

he really loves that you're hyperfixated on him because that just means you care about him just as much as he cares about you

Levi

as expected, he's very flustered

he knows what it's like to have a little blorbo and he would give anything to be able to see them daily in person and live with them

he's over the moon once he realizes this and despite his embarrassment, he pushed through to spend more time with you

he's so dedicated <3

Satan

he's probably the most puzzled

he's always learning new things about humans even when he thought he knew everything

he knows and trusts you so from time to time, he'll take a picture with you in mind that he knows will remind you of him

all in all, he does think it's a little strange but won't stop you since he's never seen you happier

Asmo

like they said, you're literally about to become the number one member of his fanclub!

lucky for you, once he finds your asmo photo album, he's feeding into your hyperfixation

you get lots of exclusive privileges, such as early morning selfies and all his merch for free, including prototypes

he's always ready to pose for a picture for you. every side is his good side!

Beel

he's a little confused but he's happy to make you happy

he listened to you talk about your hyperfixations the most beside levi so he's quick to pick up on this shift

to make you happy, he decides to make a handmade adult bib just for you haha and at first he's a little sad but then he finds it while digging for your snack stash

you've never worn it once because it's hanging in your closet next to your fancy outfits <3

Belphie

you what? is his initial reaction

from the outside, it seems like it doesn't bother him or that he could care less

but, on the inside, he's elated since he thought after how he tricked you, you'd never want to be close to him again

now, you're the very thing that makes you excited to wake up every morning by his side

#obey me #obey me!#obey me x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me lucifer #obey me beel #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date

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vampirevatican · 3 months

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Looking at saved photos of him...

pairing: om! brothers x reader

summary: the bros find you reacting to something on your phone. a huge smile, blushing, covering your mouth, or muttering things to yourself. they would've never guessed you were looking at them

note: whenever i see my fave boys, especially mammon, i think about how they'd react so i made this

Lucifer

remember. he is pride personified.

sure it's not an arrogant pride, more so stubborness

but!! in this case? oh yeah he knows he's hot shit and he couldn't be happier

funniest part is that the mfer usually has a smug and calm look on his face so when he's thinking about how you were just grinning over photos of him it doesn't really show to others

Mammon

he's boasting...

instantly in the HoL group chat he's going on and on about how he's better

how you ramble on and on over just looking at photos of him

he WILL NOT stfu about it... unless one of his stronger brothers makes him (lucifer or satan specifically)

would start sending you pictures of him at modeling jobs

Leviathan

oh he's flustered and confused

how could you blush over a smelly, bastard, gross otaku like him

and then he hears how sweetly you talk about him and he just gets more flustered and embarrassed

going over some of the pictures with him? maybe you'll build his confidence a bit

although im certain he'd still be fumbling his words and in awe at how you see him and love him

he's going to cherish this for a long time

Satan

he is his father's daughter son.

by that i mean to say that he's prideful about it but he's not focused on him and it being a natural fact like luci

and it's not bc out of all his brothers you're reacting like this about him like mamo or levi

nah this is him being better than lucifer. this is about you seeing him for him. this is about loving him from cute cat pics, rage and handsome

Asmodeus

it's worse than lucifer... mainly because he lives and breathes the reality that he is the most gorgeous thing in all the three realms

would constantly tease you over it

anytime you simply glance at him? "take a picture, darling. it'll last longer." (affectionate)

and me? personally? i'd wanna wipe the smirk off of his face

but for the folks who are in love with him?? you take multiple pictures instantly which he poses for ofc

you now receive every selfie he takes before he posts it on devilgram

Beelzebub

doesn't think much of it but is very happy about it

seeing you happy makes him happy, he's simple like that

at the same time he is very emotional intuitive, so he knows that when you swoon over the pictures it's more too it than his looks

hell the photos and your muttered words say it too, and he actually holds onto how sweet it all is

really makes his day that he's more than just brawn or someone who eats a lot to you...

he feels warm inside when you say he's your baby

Belphgor

he can look like he doesn't care, he can sound like it

but know for sure he's teasing you

and that teasing is the only way he can actually tell you he wants you to look at him more

being the baby, the seventh, and the least active/present brother he demands and needs the attention

might be sweet and smile at you more when you lock eyes, or just when he sees you... maybe even smiles in his sleep when hearing your voice or sensing your presence

i feel like he'd tease you if he catches you staring at him one day by saying "take a picture it'll last longer" (derogatory)

but please take pictures of him, he appreciates the attention

#omswd #obey me! swd #obey me x reader #om! lucifer #om! mammon #om! leviathan #om! satan #om! asmodeus #om! beelzebub #om! belphegor

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dotster001 · 1 year

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Pact Marks, Chapter Six of the Sheep Saga

Summary: it's the end of the exchange program, and you're wondering why no one told you your human form would have new tattoos...

A/N: been a while since I've done one of these, but for those of you who are new, you don't have to have read the other parts. Just know that MC is a sheep in the Devildom, and a human back home.

Chapters One Two Three Four Five

You were standing in front of your mirror, back in the human realm, just staring. After an hour of this, you decided to pull out your D.D.D. and text your boys.

Hey so was no one gonna tell me about the seven demonic tattoos I was gonna get in my human form?

The responses came even faster than expected.

Where's mine?!?!?

Send me a pic! 🩷

Incoming video call from Mammoney

Incoming call from Belphie

I bet Beel's is on your stomach 😂

Incoming call from Catan

Pick up the phone

How dare you decline a call from the Great Mammon!

You sighed and snapped a picture of Lucifer's mark on the back of your right hand, and sent it to the group chat.

Incoming call from Asmo

Incoming call from Mammoney

Incoming video call from Beelzebabe

You pulled down the collar of your shirt, exposing Mammon's mark right above your heart, took a picture, and sent it.

Lmao Mammon's a simp

Shuddup! I bet yours looks lame as hell. Mine looks swag.

Simp

You're just jealous cause I was first and got the best spot 😎

Voicemail inbox full

"God damnit," you muttered, deciding not to send any more pictures until they calmed down, and someone apologized for not telling you about the tattoos you now had to figure out how to cover up.

Incoming video call from Mr. Pride

You declined the call. If you did that in the Devildom, you would have probably been hung from the ceiling. But Lucifer wasn't here so…

Pick up.

I'm busy.

You just got there.

Pick up.

You ignored the text messages you were getting.

Incoming Video Call from King Himbo.

You hesitated a moment before ignoring the call from Diavolo. But he surely had better things to do than….

A portal opened up right behind you, and Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer entered your tiny bedroom.

"So this is a human bedroom," Diavolo said, looking around the room in awe. "So fascinating!"

He gripped the edge of your bed too hard and it shattered into splinters.

"Oh, um I'll buy you a new one, ha ha," he said apologetically.

"Why are you guys here? What happened to 'exchange program is over, we might never see you again'?" You asked, a little too loudly, but they didn't seem to care.

"That was because we foolishly forgot how easy it was for one human to take down our entire government," Barbatos said with an eerie smile on his face. The chill in your bones got worse when Lucifer pointedly glared at you.

"Just show me the other marks, so I can take pictures of them for my idiot brothers."

You froze in place, not sure how you felt about three of the most powerful demons in all of existence standing in your bedroom just to take pictures of your tattoos.

"Also, how dare you decline mine and Lord Diavolo's calls?" Lucifer growled.

"Technically I didn't decline them, just ignored them…"

"Pact marks. Now."

With a pout, you lifted up your pant leg , showing Levi's mark wrapping around your leg. After the picture was taken, you lifted the back of your shirt to show Satan's mark on your upper back. This continued for Asmo's mark on your left hip bone, and the twins' marks intertwining on your right bicep.

"Thank you, was that so hard," Lucifer sighed, turning to go.

"There, exchange program over for real now, I'll send you a new bed frame soon," Diavolo said, making no move to actually leave.

"Young master," Barbatos said warningly.

"Can I not take advantage of this chance to explore the human realm with a human?"

"No, you promised you'd do your work after you saw the pacts," Barbatos said, pulling Diavolo through the portal with surprising strength.

The portal closed and you were left alone again. It took less than two minutes for your D.D.D. to start ringing and buzzing again. You turned it off.

....

Tag list- @leonia0 @eccedentesiast-sapphic @your-next-daydream

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer #om! diavolo #om! lucifer #diavolo #barbatos #om! barbatos

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l3viat8an · 6 months

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I dunno if Tumblr auto-closes anons after a limit or something, or if you do, since yesterday I'd tried to send a second thing soon after the first but it flatout refused to send for some reason? & When I reloaded your asks were closed even tho I thought you were offline- ANYWAY I'm still newish to Tumblr / not on that often so I have no clue 😓

Anyways to the ask thing 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

So imagine if MC reads manga a lot, but like. Digitally. So when they find silly frames they'll sometimes just randomly send one to one of the brothers with no explanation (Levi gets ALL the silly / low quality / "wtf is that expression lmaooo" panels/snippets bc ✨manga frennnnsss✨ & the other brothers would mainly get frames that remind MC of them)

(to mammon)

"us fr

(affectionately, we are both silly little fools and we amplify our foolery by existing)

ANYWAY

Also

Imagine MC rambling to Levi about the mangas they're reading & like. If they're talking in person then Levi & MC just keep cutting eachother off/interrupting bc ":0 that reminds me of (other manga)" & we're just buzzing w/ energy bc WOOO shared interests & only we can actually understand eachother /hj

If they're talking over text then MC & Lev just have like 4 different conversations at once bc of the similarities/mental brain connections lead to more mental brain connections and

You CANNOT tell me that if MC mentioned the manga(s) they're reading to Levi, Levi would not ask or be curious or start rambling about his own mangas

So anyway Levi would probably also send MC silly manga panels & they just end up w/ multiple conversations happening at once bc of it (I have legitimately held 3 different conversations with one person at the same time over text bc of mental connections to other things)

I think Levi has like. Actual paper mangas tho so he'd probably find the manga he's reading online to take a screenshot of the silly panel, OR would just take a picture of the manga itself lol

It’s more like my ask box hates me 💀 apparently it just isn’t there sometimes- there isn’t a limit or anything I know of.

I collect manga and read online a LOT so I have sooo many low quality / silly panels it’s ridiculous helsphsks sending Levi any goofy/silly panels and he just sends you back one he found earlier and was waiting to share lolol

Jsjsjsj that is absolutely MC and Mammon tho- two total fools!!!-

Any manga / ‘this is us’ stuff you send to Lucifer and he just replies with ‘If you say so.’ even tho he’s smiling like a fool all alone in his office-

lil off topic but Satan would send back ‘this is us’ and cuddling / sweet / goofy cat pics!!!

Levi and MC matching energy and having five different conversations in one anytime they talk about their special interests because it’s just so exciting, because someone finally gets it!!! Going back and forth about 8 different manga / animes at once because of the ‘oh! I just remembered (related thing)!!!’

#ajshahsh this is mostly about Levi ‘n I’m just rambling jshsjsj #but it’s also something I would absolutely do lolol #mail!#ro rambles

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suffering-frombrain-rot · 10 months

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Obey me brothers + crew watching MC do a diamond painting

I've never done a post like this before, let alone anything for this fandom, but I'm doing a diamond painting myself, and these boys decided to rotate in my brain while doing so. I hope ya'll enjoy this crack post!

Lucifer

-he thinks it's an interesting concept

-he likes checking in on your progress as you place the tiny gems on the right spaces

-far too tedious and time consuming for him to do

- if he ever had a break, then he'd maybe like to try it out with you

-he'd let you work on it in his office while he works as long as you SWEAR you wont make a mess with the gems

-if you do happen to spill some, he'll make sure you pick up every last one, double and triple check that they're all accounted for

-if you give it to him, hed definitely frame it and put it either in a hallway or in his room

Mammon

-he thinks its dumb, why would you spend so much time doing something like that when you could just get a premade one or the same image without the gems?

-he loves watching you do it, he'll say all that to your face, but we all know he'd wanna watch you the whole time

-gets exited when you send him updates, but he'll just respond with a "nice" or something

-he'd wanna try it out with you so you get him one of his own

-he spills the crystals all over the sticky part on accident

-doesn't know how the tools work, he'd also put them on upside down on accident

-he'd frame your finished one and hang it above his bed~

-he's never letting his see the light of day

Leviathan

-he'd play lots of puzzle games, so he sees the appeal in doing something like that

-it's said in a group chat, idk what it was called, but he likes to be able to be in a room with a person and do two completely different things, he doesn't need constant communication or even doing the same thing as the person really to be happy in their presence

-so I'd like to imagine he'd love having you work on your project on the floor of his room while he plays a game or watches a anime

-he'd occasionally check up on you to see your progress!

-maybe he'd order his own of Hana Ruri off Akuzan to work on with you the next time you bring it over to his room

-I don't think he'd hang it anywhere if you offered to give it to him, boy has too many posters on his wall anyways

-he'd say that you worked too hard on it to give it away to someone so quickly

Satan

-my true love <3

-anyways

-Satan is an art enthusiast and gives me a 'try anything and everything' type of vibe

-he'd want to do one with you, he'd make a date of it and everything

-get him a cat one PLEASE!!!

-he'd probably also like one of the starry night, but cats are the top priority 👌

-he'd start to get a bit impatient over time, and a little frustrated if he makes a mistake or spills the gems everywhere

-but he has you with him, so he can easily laugh it off and go back to working on it

-especially if you're enjoying doing it with him, that's the most important part!

-he'd probably want to trade with you once you both finish with them!

Asmodeous

-Also very artistic, like Satan

-he'd comment on how you're doing

"Wow! Your hands are so steady~"

"You have such a nice concentration face!"

-all the compliments might get frustrating if you're trying to focus, but it's okay because you love him

-he'd get one to do with you once you finish your first one, he'd love the closeness of working on such a long project with you

-he is very VERY good at the placement of every gem, he does nails and makeup as well as art occasionally so it is only natural

-he wants it to be perfect

-definitely posting work in progress pics on Devilgram

-takes pics of you working for himself~ he loves the candid shots

-and of course posts the final products together once ya'll finish

-he'd let you hold onto the one you did together so you can look at it and think of him~

Beelzebub

-he'd try to eat it

-it looks like little candies

-candy goes in his mouth

-simple math

-but seriously, make sure he's not gonna eat it if you do one of these around him

-he'd try his hardest to help you out if you ask, but I don't think he has the hand-eye coordination

-like Levi, I think he'd like to watch you in silence as you work on it

-maybe do some workouts while you work?

-he'd probably want to hang it on the fridge since that's where he is a lot of the time, and the others can look at it when they're in the kitchen :)

Belphegor

-Belhpie probably wouldn't care all that much

-he'd think it's pretty, but watching you work on it is putting him to sleep

-he'd probably also want to help you with it, just so it doesn't take you too long

-he can just tell that working on it hurts your back from being hunched over for too long

-go lay down with him, it'd be much nicer, he could rub your back as you both fall asleep

-there's always tomorrow to work on it

-he'd wanna show your work to Beel once it's done

-hed also wanna hang it on one of the walls on his side of the room

Diavolo

-LET HIM DO ONE TOO

-PLEASE

-IT LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN!

-he'd watch you do it, then try to learn the best ways to do one himself

-(may be projecting a little here) he wouldnt know that you could place more than one at a time

-gets well over a quarter or so of the way through before realizing the long thing at the end of the pen you can use to place multiple down at once

-he feels silly but that's okay because hes having fun!

-he'd get one for Barbs too so the three of you could work on it together during any free time you have

-Puts too much pressure while going to pick up the gems and spills them all over out of the tray

-you help him clean them up every time, and you frequently have to use tweezers to take the gems off of the spaces of the picture they spilled on

-even if it's a messy process, you both have lots of fun making them

-he'd put it on his desk in a frame if you gave him yours

-you probably gave it to him as compensation for his messed up one

-shows it off every chance he gets

Barbatos

-if he sees that you're struggling with your project, he'd take over for a bit to show you the best way to do it

-he's like an annoying art teacher that keeps correcting your project when you didn't ask for it

-it's fine though, just tell him you don't need help and he'll respectfully leave you to your work

-he'd make you tea and snacks while you work if you're someone like me who gets too absorbed in your work to take a break

-also would massage your shoulders while idly talking with you about whatever topics your conversation leads

-he'd organize the bags of gems for you, makes sure everything is neat and tidy weather or not you ask for it

-if you wanted to give it to him, he'd happily set it up somewhere visible in the castle

Simeon

-Ugh!

-he'd love watching you work on it!

-he thinks its so pretty how it comes together and becomes so vibrant!

-he'd go and get several to bring up to the celestial realm

-he'd love working on them outside in the light of the celestial realm because of how shiny they are!

-he'd definitely hide things from you just to mess with you

-you need a certain color? Simeon has it in his pocket

-you set your tool down to do something else? He's grabbed it

-will give it back if you kiss him~ he promises <3

-he'd cherish it forever if you gave it to him when you're done!

Solomon

-he'd use magic to mess with you

-inverting the colors, making the colors the same, placing them on the spots for you with magic

-TELL HIM TO STOP

-the fossil has no right

-anyways hes like Simeon with the prank pulling

-he'd stop once you tell him and will revert the changes, then would go back to watching you peacefully as you work

-would be so so happy if you gave it to him, he'd brag to the others that you gave him such a personal and intricate gift

-he's gonna get killed by the others some way or anthother

-but that's fine

-he loves toying with death

#obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #omnb #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me mc #obey me brothers

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conjuring-ghouls · 10 months

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Hi, Everyone!

✶ Welcome to my Ghost sideblog! This is where I post/reblog anything related to this silly satanic band.

✶ I can only follow, like and send asks through my main blog, so if you see haunted-desert creeping into your notes (lmao), that's me!

✶ You’ll see a lot of Copia around here cause he’s my my favorite papa and emotional support rat man. I love the other papas and the nameless ghouls though (Dew stan here hehehe) so I reblog them often as well.

✶ I do reblog fics and adult content, so please, be aware that his is an 18+ blog. MDNI.

✶ Feel free to look around and reblog anything around here! It's also ok to use my gifs as long as you let me know about it (just cause i’d love seeing what you used them for!) and credit me.

✶ I love meeting other Ghost fans and chatting with people about them so feel free to reach out to me anytime!

✶ My asks and DM’s are always open in case you need someone to talk to. 🖤 I love meeting fellow ghesties, so don't be afraid to say hi!

✶ I'd also love to be tagged on fics, fanart or any ghost posts so go ahead if you'd like to! This is 100% a safe space to thirst over the papas so make yourself at home, we don't judge here.

✶ This blog is a safe space for lgbt people, poc, women, and literally everyone. No form of hate/racism/sexism/lgbtphobia will be tolerated. Be loving and kind! 🖤

Thanks for checking out my blog and welcome!

TAGS

my gifs , my edits , my writing

them thighs (for... thighs hehehe)

eye contact (for pics/videos/ gifs in which Papa is looking directly at the camera)

hands hands hands (for Dew's hands - I swear I'm normal)

mr. ghost, unholy father, tender father, tutti frutti (for Tobias Forge)

#welcome!!#have a look around and have fun! 🖤#don't mind me resharing my pinned post cause tumblr is stupid and won't let me edit the old one

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youre-ackermine · 10 months

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Send this to ten other bloggers that you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!!! ❤️

Lovely Cas 🫶

Thank you so so much for sending this to me!!

Well, to be honest, I am the one thinking you are wonderful actually!

I love your Eremin Family AU, all those cute children driving their parents mad [except for Hange lmao] but so endearing, those different family dynamics, your creativity is so refreshing!

Your takes on SNK are so good & accurate [the titan analyses you posted lately are brilliant]

Also, I really appreciate the way you tag your moots [me] in a post/reblog they [I] might be interested in! It shows how much you care & how sweet you are! Thank you 🫶

Your posts about dinosaurs or any kind of other -saur- on my tl brighten my day!

Sending love & a pic of a real cutie 🦎

satanic leaf tailed gecko [uroplatus phantasticus]

#val has mail 💌#lovely moots 💕#cas 🦕#wyvernslovecake 🦖

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justabeadlizard · 1 year

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My group chats not paying attention to my sandman live blog so y’all will. I’m going in blind and have no context to any of this bone apple teeth

Yoooooooo this mf sounds like he’s smoked 16 six packs every hour of every fucking day

The fuck is that spooky ass gas mask for

Bug eye looking ass bitch

Local man accidentally takes a collect call and is real fucking passed about it

Cool ass effects tho hope they didn’t do the bcc team dirty

I like this sandy bitch he compels me

Damn they robbed his unconscious ass ans got birds for their trouble

idk how to put pics into tumble so image ID: it’s dream in the circle completely naked except for his mask and he looks very pale and skinny

WHY HE LOOK LIKE TAHT DAWG MANS GOT NO FUCKING ASS FLAT AS HELL PLATE PLAAAAATE

Nightmare: nooooooooo dreeeeeeeeaaaaam don’t kiiiiiilllllll meeeeeeee :,,,,,,(

Nightmare when dream got his flat ass got: haha lol imma fucking help ur captors u little bitch ass

Jessamy?? Slaaayyyyy

more pics idk how to send but it’s dream I. The glass bubble and he looks like that one angsty pic of satan crying

Ok emo boy

Why he look like that

Baby girl u are spooky and unnerving

Hope someone falls the fuck asleep soon I want this twiggy man to get into a comfy position for once

his back must HURT

hell yeah hope the magus son fucks up and accidentally busts my dude outta there

alex bby gurl u have no idea what you’re doing

dads fucking crazy

fuck indeed

IS HE GONNA SHOOT THE BIRD WITH A GUN???? LOONEY TUNES SHIT

#the sandman #how Do I tag this series???#dream the sandman #sandman netflix #sandman neflix #sure seems good #man this pile of laundry I’m supposed to be folding is so judgemental

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obeymycok · 2 years

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Obey Me as RWBY

RWBY Ice Queendom has reawakened my love for the series as a whole and who doesn’t combine their obsessions when they can? So I guess this is technically headcanons since I’m just thinking about the weapons and semblances the brothers might have. These will probably make absolutely no sense if you don’t at least watch the RWBY trailers but I added pics from google to kinda help

Lucifer

Definitely a sword or scythe. He reminds me a lot of Raven so I can see him using her long sword with changing blades. He also just really gives scythe vibes though so maybe when he puts the sword away it can transform like Ruby’s scythe does idk I just think that’s pretty cool.

As far as semblances go I see him having the Schnee family’s summoning. He’s the best at using magic among his brothers and I also feel like he’d have some sort of ice element in his fighting simply because his symbol is blue.

Mammon

Also gives off scythe energy but even more so Nora’s hammer. Similar to how Nora’s hammer transforms from the mini cannon, but just the push of a button away from the hammerhead becoming a blade.

Fast boi has a speed semblance. He can absorb lightning from other people’s attacks to power up, or get a speed boost. Kind of like a mix of Nora and Ruby.

Leviathan

There’s not even an anime logical way to combine these two so either Weiss’s sword or Sun’s staff/gun-chucks. With Weiss’s sword he’d pretend he was the main character in a shonen anime being all graceful and shit. OR he’d act the same way but he’d train himself to fight like a ninja with Sun’s weapon. He’s so excited to all of a sudden snap his weapon and start flinging bullets.

Obviously he has a water type semblance. I’m thinking he can control not only the movement but also temperature of bodies of water. He can probably make it rain too, but he’d need to combine his magic with Mammon’s in order to make a thunderstorm

Satan

He’s very much giving Penny vibes. I mean, not only are her sword accents and magic energy green, but her whole character. She wasn’t created like everyone else was, but she’s still one of the strongest in her ranks and can very easily hold her own (OP much?) He can also fly for short distances. That god awful boa in his demon form has a spell on it that turns into his swords (10 max) yeah his boa is his weapon essentially

Because of how she was made, Penny doesn’t have a semblance, but I think Emerald’s illusion semblance would also fit him. It’s pretty self explanatory but basically he can alter someone’s vision by making copies of people that aren’t there.

Asmodeus

My original thought for Asmodeus’ weapon was literally Kai’s from that KungFu Panda movie because chains are sexy, but sticking with the RWBY theme, probably Neo or Blake. He’d be very elegant with Neo’s umbrella thing since it’s basically indestructible, but he’d have so much fun swinging around with whatever Blake’s weapon is.

His semblance would be Jaune’s healing since he would still have his hypnotism thing and he’s too pretty to get all dirty fighting. He’s happy to use his energy healing and empowering his brothers while he cheers from the sidelines.

Beelzebub

Yang energy all the way from personality, to weapon, to semblance. Beel’s a fighter and shotgun gauntlets to enhance his punches would make him unstoppable. He’s one of the brothers I headcanon can’t fly despite having wings. They’re still fairly strong, but with all that muscle mass the most he can do is use the gauntlets to blast off and kinda glide shorter distances from there.

It would also make sense that he also has Yang’s semblance. Basically anytime he gets hit, he absorbs that power and is able to store it up or send it back

Belphegor

His whole emo vibe reminds me of a grim reaper, so I also deem him a scythe wielder. He’d have Maria Calavera’s double connecting scythes because of the gravity magic. He’s lazy and he can’t fly but if he can just yeet one of them into a nevermore and get dragged along for the ride then so be it.

He gives shadow magic vibes like Rogue Cheney from Fairy Tail but as for RWBY semblances, that one crocodile lesbian Maria fought when she lost her eyes. Winding up an alarm clock and for 60 seconds, all abilities are enhanced threefold. It basically focuses all his remaining energy to come out at once for 1 minute before he’s back to sleepy cowboy

#rwby #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #world building #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #Obey Me Levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #Obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie

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itssolonelyhere · 2 years

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omg I just really love eddie munson. he's bae for sure. i just really connect with the loner, bullied outcast characters. he's literally perfect <3. nice to see so much hellcheer content on here. especially with what's going on with poor grace. she's a literal goddess. love her so much <3<3<3

Hi, anon! Yes, I love him to bits too. A lot of people connected with him on so many levels and it's great to see so much hype for him. I'm a little late in the game but better late than never. He's definitely an outcast, that's for sure. I'm not so sure I agree with the whole bullied idea, though. I see this characterization of him so often and it kind of makes me scratch my head (no offense if you headcanon him that way and you're 100% in your right to see him however you want! This is purely just my thoughts on the matter).

So the reason I don't see Eddie that way is because of how he behaves and interacts with other characters. Like, I've never seen a bullied kid in school get up on the lunch table, yell and instigate some shit with every other group, then confidently mock the captain of the basketball team (likely the most popular guy in Hawkins High at the time). The way he looked at Jason to me said, "Go ahead, asshole. Try something. I dare you." and with that shit-eating grin? That's not someone worried about getting bodied or jumped later. And all Jason did was say 'prick' under his breath and walk away. He's got the entire basketball team to back him up (and probably other cliques Eddie pisses off) and could've tried intimidating him or something at any point. The only time he actually goes after Eddie is when he thinks he murdered his girlfriend in a Satanic ritual.

Not to mention, Eddie's a 'drug' dealer. No one messes with the school drug dealer lol. I've hung out with people kind of like him in HS and after. They often have a small group of close friends but don't take much shit from others. And usually are really great once you get past all the bs and know them better. I also noticed quite a few were bullied in primary or middle school (or socially rejected) and just quit giving a crap about what others thought. At least, these are generalizations I've gathered from getting to know people like that. So maybe that's the case with Eddie? Perhaps he was bullied or shunned in the past and just stopped caring about others' opinions of him by the time HS came around. Or he's always just been a wild child that can't be tamed.

Either way, the important thing is that fans find a connection with him. I adore him because there are so many layers to him and he feels familiar in a sense. It gives me nostalgia. And he's amazing. I'm also thrilled to see a lot of ship content for him and Chrissy on here. Usually, I'm into kind of obscure or crossover ships that have little to no material for them and it sucks. This time, I get to sit back and enjoy everything coming out on a daily basis. Not only that, but they gave me the motivation and inspiration to write again after all these months.

And my heart really goes out to Grace... I kept seeing posts about it and it's so wild. I felt like I was having a stroke just trying to understand the insanity of it all. She just seems like such a wonderful, kind, messy Queen and I love her for it. When she posted that pic of her in the Hellfire shirt after that weird scandal thing, I lost it lol.

Thanks for sending this in anon and let's keep loving these two to pieces!

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vmfx · 2 years

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PANDEMIC BLUES (SUMMER).

At the tail end of Spring, I posted Merzbow’s Pulse Demon here on my sister site. I noticed that someone from the New York City / Long Island area liked it and I decided to see who she was.

Hesitation marks. Satanist. Anorexia. Borderline Personality Disorder. Medications. Has an OnlyFans account. Topless Shibari pics- of herself. Too-much-information posts about cream-pies and wanting to fuck some random guy she met who ended up abandoning her to get high with his friends. Wow. For most people, there’s so many red flags waved to say “no” the first time and move on. Amazingly, the t.m.i. - not the self-abuse, Satanism, or BPD - had me say “no”, too, until I found her other page which showed a more leveled side to her. Posts relating to her anxiety and depression issues. The color pink. Cute Japanese cartoon animals, Animal Crossing, and owns animals herself. Her paleness laying on the backyard grass with her long dark flowing hair down her neck and skinny wrists across her purple tee holding her pet rabbit. I re-considered because I empathized and related with some of what she suffered through. It’s May, and if I don’t take it now then I may not have it later. So hand me the dice and let’s fucking roll.

Ruth* posted about doing your 100% in a relationship and I checked it off. A few moments later, she caught me posting something of mine I took from the neighborhood veteran’s park. She messaged me to ask if that’s where I got it from. We finally reached out to each other. Lo and behold…she’s from the very same town I am! In fact, we’ve crossed paths before in that same park on one warm Wednesday before sundown, but we didn’t realize it was each other until after the fact. She’s into darkwave, some noise, the post-punk / d.i.y. aesthetic, noise rock, and introduced me to The Mountain Goats. Overtime she’s disclosed her use of LSD, acid, and getting blackout drunk as coping mechanisms of years-long bullying and social isolation. One story she told me was when she approached Jamie Stewart (Xiu Xiu) after his Brooklyn Bazaar performance and ended up telling him her life story. Fortunately, no heroin. She’s stayed away from it as half of her friends she’s ever known have perished from it. But most importantly as mental health sufferers we also matched on our worlds of hurt, our worries of opening up and having doors shut in our faces, text anxiety, and remembering that last time we felt excited about something.

At times I was on edge because I’d assume the worst if I didn’t get her texts that night or seen her posting and ignoring me. Not so. We kept in close contact. Intense texting during off-days and breaks, in parking lots and even me laying in the emergency room two days before we met. She’d finally disclosed her Satanist practices which her ma’ hated (no animals sacrificed) and her nudes which she feared would lose my approval. No judgment. She didn’t send me any, just a bathroom selfie of her 5’7” Polish-Jewish self with black curly hair, pouty lips, and large-rimmed glasses. The concepts of re-assurance and honesty made me chance it and open up to her that I’d never did with anyone else that quickly…despite her somewhat shy shortcomings. I was feeling euphoric once again. I now had someone I’d fight for. She was unique and could give me most of what I was looking for in a female.

I saw her post occasional suicidal thoughts and had to intervene on sight, taking no chances. But Ruth assured me everything was OK and were just that - thoughts. On a happier note, she lamented on how she missed riding her bicycle because of how nice her butt looks. She got points for that one. The moment she felt sad about not being at the beach, I went for it and asked to take her. ��Sure!” she said. Boxcars! To hear her say that made me feel so fucking good. It meant everything to me. With minimal worry, we were on our way in meeting each other soon.

I absorbed the June moment sitting in my backyard against the fence under the trees, the stars, the moon, and the dark blue night skies. Personal tranquility, promise, and hope segued into something good while the nation was burning from all the civil unrest and pandemic restlessness. Violence, protests, and scorching fires were born from George Floyd’s murder by the police. People none more fed up than ever in lockdown lost their jobs and their livelihoods by witnessing the collapse of their favorite pastimes, venues, and restaurants. All the while an enablist president with a lust for dictatorship, hate, and murdering democracy dead was steering this country towards a fascist state to the point of no return.

* * * * * * * * * *

Wednesday’s here. I wake up, I shower, and have a light breakfast. Fresh clothes are ready to be worn. Buzz, brush, and razor. Take the phone out of its case and polish it up. Wash the car and vacuum it because who knows what type of person she is. 3PM came and I got her text. Ruth and her ma’ were in the neighborhood tending to an injured animal. She gave me her address and told me to be there at 4PM. I’m on my way.

It’s a breezy but silvery day. The weather is in a drab mood, but not enough to tarnish my excitement. Ten minutes, three miles, and some narrow wooded roads east later, I arrive at her house - and it’s about to fall apart. The slightest flick of the match would burn it all down. There’s tin statues of mini-animals and mossy bird fountains all over the place to pony up the storybook charm. No sight of her 20 cats, her bunny, or bird. It’s been five minutes waiting for her to come out. Lord knows what she’s doing but it felt special that’s she putting the finishing touches on herself for me. The front door opens and here comes Ruth. I was very happy how she turned out. Green and white-striped tee, a denim overall mini-skirt and torn black hosiery with rainbow specks and black boots. This is the same girl who’s been posting lewds and Japanese schoolgirl uniform shots? You would never ever know it by looking at her. It’s Irma Langenstein with social media accounts and that 2010′s online edge but she’s still got that weirdness. We trade hellos and smiles, got in the car, and rode west on the service road to the south shore through the salt-and-peppered day.

I was so nervous with her that I couldn’t even form a complete sentence. I felt like I owed her an apology for stepping over some personal boundaries in getting privy about feelings and her hedonistic side. The soft-spoken nerd assured me that everything was OK. The more we spoke, the more things smoothed out and relaxed themselves. We slowly drove as she explained to me about her BPD and gradually went into her interests before we arrived at Gardiner Manor Park.

We cut through the wooden trails to reach the shoreline and walked on the sands, walking by the sea ribbons, discarded shells, and old aquatic artifacts. It was where she told me she attended the same university as I and had friends at the radio station. Who does she know? J-Ro. Everyone knows J-Ro. They’ve worked together at the organic supermarket. What did she get him for last year’s Secret Santa? Sacred Bones’ Killed By Deathrock. Wow, she knows what’s up. We backtracked through the woods where she opted for the long way out and worked out because I wanted my money’s worth. She saw me constantly being pinched by the mosquitoes, and kind enough of her to actually care and hose me down with her organic citrus repellent.

We had time after showing each other our SE’s to drive to Argyle Park still under the cool cloudy skies. We circled twice around the large duck pond dodging both the goose smears on the asphalt and people fishing off the elevated walkways, aiming to fill the air with nothing-talk to make up for the awkward silences between us. My mind’s racing, my breathing heavy, and my pace almost couldn’t keep up with this quick little walker. I’m exhausted, she’s exhausted, and so was whatever daylight Wednesday had left. It’s 7PM. Time to drive the mouse home.

One amusing point of our day was while driving back east on Main st. we heard screetching behind us. I look up and there’s a group of people on the sidewalk looking over to see what just happened. In my rear-view I saw an SUV that blew a light penetrated into a parked car. Ruth and I slowed down and looked at each other mortified to our chests. Had we been 5-10 seconds slower, we might’ve been casualties. We still drove north towards her house, up Railroad Ave. and past what used to be the old Vinyl Paradise which was now George’s Vintage Clothing & Records.

I’m with a woman whose Williamsburg-mind would fit more in the city than on the island. Ruth had many friends to rely on in case of shelter and recently celebrated with a close friend who found an apartment in Queens, while she just returned from a winter job in Denver and came home with no car, no job, and no money in the bank. I wasn’t fazed at all. Along the way she’s disclosed to me that she’s had ten straight years of relationships lasting from five months to two years with at most four-month gaps of being single in-between. She’s been undefeated in the break-up department because she gets sick of them. All of them. No reason needed.

We pull up in front of her house. We have our final smiles and say our goodbyes to each other. I see her walk in through the front door and I slowly drive away. I arrive home and came down sad that our day ended. It shouldn’t have. With my luck, a day like this should’ve never happened, but somehow it did. And now I’m wrapping my head around it. I take off my black shirt. The aura of her citrus repellent overlapping mine of basil, black pepper, and cedar on fresh woven cotton lingered on for what would forever burn in my mind of our day together. I had a great time with someone who was on my level and wasn’t like anyone else from the island. That was capped off when I just got a happy positive text from Ruth: she had a great time, and it was nice meeting me.

* * * * * * * * * *

I gave it a few days to see how Ruth was doing. I texted her and asked her if she could go to George’s Vintage- one day with me.

“Sure! I’d love to go!” she exclaimed. So far so good. Then I asked her when she was available. No return text. My attempt to see her again fell on deaf ears. That’s odd. I didn’t want to push it, so I waited a couple of days and asked her again. She did somewhat reply, saying that she couldn’t talk because she had friends over and wasn’t able to make plans. There were times during my lunch break at work where I would shoot her a random text or music video like she had with me before. No response. Something wasn’t right. I had a feeling that things were deteriorating between us.

I saw that she just re-blogged something - about playing on people’s feelings, enticing them for sex and weed before abandoning them and never seeing them again. #that’s totally me! lol, she tagged. Are you kidding me? Is she really serious? Displaying her intentions for all to see about taking people for a ride and leaving them at the curb is all a silly game to her? Absolutely disgusting. I felt it, because this could be something she was setting up for me. The tension was tightening up and pulling away from the center. The metal thick-gauge wire was fraying and was about to snap apart. I said nothing about it to her and rolled the dice again on future plans, hoping she would snap out of it. I texted her if Thursday or Friday was good. She replied and said that she couldn’t. She had other plans to celebrate a couple of birthdays in with her family. I wasn’t going to hustle it, and with respect I told her to have fun and have a good time.

That week, New York State announced that all restaurants would re-open providing safety measures were implemented. I had no work that Thursday. I was craving for Japanese food after three months of total closures across the board. I went to Commack to sit down and chow down as much as I could for a couple of hours. I tried out half of everything they offered on the menu. All the red tuna and salmon sushi rolls, sashimi, miso soup, dumplings, fried rice, noodles with peanut sauce, and lychees I could possibly eat to the point of almost passing out. I tapped out and asked for the bill, paid my way out and left the restaurant almost unable to walk to my car. I got home and took a two-hour nap to relieve the food coma I was suffering from. It’s 6PM. The gym was still under lock-down and I felt like I didn’t accomplish enough for the day. Off to the neighborhood park I go.

My visit started like any other. Arrive with my SE in hand with my headphones and start walking around. Dark sounds of grimy, electric dancehall were in my ears as I minded my own business and wandered around the crooked wooden pathways. A group of people caught my peripherals during my travels. I look to my left to see a group of three people and…Ruth? She recognized me and waved hello in my direction. Such a…surprise to…see her? My mind knew something was wrong and couldn’t help to ask why she wasn’t with her family. That was my first instinct.

“Hey, Ruth…weren’t you supposed to be with your family?” I asked. “Yeah, but we’re taking a different shortcut through the park to meet our other friends!” she smiled. I took a pounding one-two punch. I was baffled when two and three equaled zero and nothing added up right. I saved face and said goodbye to her and the two others she was with.

“It was nice meeting you!” said one of her friends as I walked away from them; a verbal smack in the face disguised as a sweet, pleasant manner. I left the park feeling disposed and thrown out. What a dirty low-down tactic for someone to blatantly lie to me and smile in my face like I was nothing. Never had I felt so dejected and disgusted with anyone. She turned into a totally different person, othello-ing me in only a week’s time. There was nothing I could do except to sit.

She purposely stayed off for a few days until after the 4th of July weekend because she knew I wanted to make plans with her. Now here’s a new update on her leveled blog: blow-job posts and golden showers are her new fetish. Great to know. I asked myself why we’re still following each other. I had to get out of there and cut my losses before I discovered other things about her I didn’t ask for. At this point I don’t even know who she was anymore, so I unfollowed her. Ruth, being self-conscious of people leaving her, saw it. She finished the job and unfollowed me in return with the quickness. Snake eyes. Money’s over. Good-bye and good riddance to each other.

How did I fuck this one up? It could’ve been our shaky nervous start, the age difference, my openness, or pushing the accommodations too hard. But she didn’t tell me. Why would she? It’s more fun to keep people dazed in circles guessing. The games and deceit, careless abandon, moments that would never be, losses accruing, and what was once OK now non-acceptable made the hurt-avalanche come down hard. My anxiety, depression, and loneliness returned with it. If there was one moment in life that I was right the first time, it’s this one. Kevin Parker said it best: “the less I know, the better”. Had I stuck to my guns before, then none of this would’ve happened. But no. Common sense flew right out the window because Summer was at stake. It came down to risk versus reward and I lost.

Days after the fact and my mind was keeping itself busy over-calculating and over-thinking what hurt the most. I still couldn’t get her out of my head. Envisioning her getting shaken and rocked by some other luckier undeserving guy. What in Christ’s name she’s posting on her money accounts kept me up at night because I went out of business and who knows above what I’ve done to have it all collapse. The intense flares in my mind lit vividly and radiantly thinking of what I could’ve had with her and lost.

Before we met, I read the risks as much as I could and did my 100% to support her. I got all the difficult questions out of the way about her kinks, drug use, and t.m.i. because I wasn’t going to revisit another life-changing personal collapse like what happened before: the Brooklyn goth girl who gave me my latest heartbreak that forever changed me for the worse. Since then, I pay an even heavier price for strikes and losses these days which, adjusted to inflation, I’m still struggling to pay off. This time, I took everything I saw at face value instead of ignoring the ugly truths shielded by the beautiful lies. I already knew at first sight, so why pretend to be naive and ignore the cards on the table? Because I asked, my situation with Ruth didn’t hit hard as before. Yet, I underestimated how severe her instability was and that’s why I’d never thought it’d backfire that quickly. Did she intend on turning against me all along? Did she know what she was doing? Am I right to feel hurt and upset as I should? How fucked up was it that what we both suffered through were the very same things she ultimately used against me? Does she really hate me that much? Can I blame her? It may be her mental duress that already made her feel sick of me like the other men she’s been with, but what’s the difference? Sufferers do what they do with no apologies like non-sufferers do, just like Satanists need little or even no reason at all to go for the kill as much as non-Satanists who are as naturally heartless when they tell others to fuck off; compacting the sting of being suddenly tossed aside so quickly like an option while I’ve made them a priority.

My anxiety / depression drove its fangs deeper into my skin and almost right to the bone. The venom induces black spots, obscura, cataracts, and tinnitus. Illusions, juxtapositions, and reversed images. Everything made me lose focus on myself and the beauty in things I’m after. It’s scrambled the ideas that gave me value in myself and separate myself from the others. I couldn’t see and experience things others were enjoying because my mind was on overdrive, scrambling to find answers or imagining all the relentless regret, false constructs, failures, catch-22’s, contradictions, double standards, and fear of being left behind. My memory was failing on me because my mind was burnt out on fighting these intense obstacles that clouded my vision.

Anxiety / depression and BPD are such demons; always behind the controls to make one raging hot or on total shutdown. No matter how hard I shake them off, they never let go. Look around in this dystopian America I live in; the three-ring circus politics, the constant barrage of lies and defeatist news producing ubiquitous toxicity. The self-demoralization and -devaluation from friends, family, and co-workers. Social media, dating-site pitfalls, repetition re-enforcement, the quarantine and isolation have all lowered human emotional morale. I’ve come to realize that my lifetime threshold of tolerance for drama, rudeness, and being taken advantage of has way exceeded its limits. I’m sick and tired of being disappointed, mistreated, and broken. But as I learned dealing with mental illness, it’s out of my hands. There’s no end to it in sight. Not where I’m from.

I’ve seen a huge push for mental health awareness along with a growing urgency for it to be more inclusive and less ostracized in society’s eyes. Unlike my dad who used to attack everything that moved, I confided to my surviving family who listened with welcoming ears. Friends whom I can count on one hand stopped and took the time to listen to me unconditionally. Followers of mine opened themselves up to me about their emotional struggles and that support went both ways. Everyone else who saw me down on my luck picked me up with no judgment because I chose the right ones. (Save for my general manager who seemed concerned about my well-being but was really interested in how far I gotten with her.) Some of them warned me to issue common sense next time and to stop at red flags instead of speeding past them - doing so to see the good in people would certainly cost me later.

Knowing me, I would’ve kept going because she was more than I had: nothing. There are nights I still think of her and sympathize with her hellish struggles. We should’ve been supporting and sympathizing. Instead, we despise each other. We have our own reasons. I can’t ignore the fact that she acted spitefully. I’ve been hurt way too many times but she didn’t see it, and those effects still linger to this day. Sadly, in Long Island’s disposable world of dating and meeting people, it’s all or nothing. No in-between, no gray area, no room for error, no negotiations. Once it’s over, it’s over. And after all that happened, I don’t regret meeting her. Not one bit.

* * * * * * * * * *

Every evening after my workout session, I sit by the lakeside for peace of mind and meditation. Come 6-7PM I’ll watch families, couples, and groups of friends stroll along the decks and sandy shorelines under the setting sun behind the trees. The bright yellow sunbeam streams are blocked by the trees surrounding the water all around as the horizon turns different dim shades of gray, orange, turquoise, and dark blue morphing by the goodbye sun; peeling back all shades of light to reveal the moon hanging overhead. A car full of young teens pull into the parking lot behind the lake with The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights” blaring, the new Summer hit sensation. The daily treks through my neighborhood to the trails with an iPhone full of post-punk and d.i.y. grasping the aesthetic are over. I can never return. What a waste that I can’t enjoy myself in the very town that I live in, that is, unless I want to chance re-opening new wounds and enjoy feeling sick to my stomach, running into friends-turned-strangers who threw me away.

It’s 2AM Monday morning. I’m in my own spacious backward sitting on the fresh cut grass away from the swimming pool. The full moon smiles down on me as it chases Saturn and Jupiter. Faint trails of clouds suspend themselves against the clear hazy milky skies. I hear the rushes of vehicles riding down the highway that’s 300 feet away from my home but the streams and perpetual frequencies of chirping crickets are closer proximity and priority.

And now, tonight's news: the Brazilian woman from the radio station is out vacationing on a yacht with her new boyfriend who's all smiles and they're having the time of their lives. A goth-girl acquaintance is raving about her new b.f. and how she's screaming up and down the block telling everyone how much of a great guy he is. The ginger with the burning red hair, big brown eyes, and freckles just put up pics- of her boyfriend whose arms are wrapped around her with this hot-shit look on his face. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here feeling worthless while all of this is going on as the world keeps rotating without my input. Charli XCX & Sky Ferreira’s “Cross You Out” and Grime’s “Violence” run burning hot and full of euphoric energy from my iPhone right to my head. In A Dramatic Gesture’s “Basic Aerobic” plays right after, a track that took me back to when I had more promise between us.

But any time I think of how left-field The Mountain Goats sounded, it’ll remind me of her. I have forever quit them. Now those sounds are tainted by bad experiences, cruelties, and large pills hard to swallow. What a disgrace that it’s summer and there’s no one to share any moments with. No one to stay up with at night to talk about favorite music artists, the state of consciousness and well-being, or prying my mind wide open and say what I’m thinking or feeling - without repercussions or feeling demonized and vilified.

Who knows where she is or what she’s up to. Is she sleeping her precious daylight away? Did she find another guy to share her next drug journey with, or what sexual acts is he putting herself through now that she’s ready to go? All I know is she’s having a winning Summer. I'm not.

#personal #Long Island #dating #Charli XCX #Sky Ferreira #Grimes #The Weeknd #mental health

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omegaplus · 2 years

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# 4,098

Pandemic Blues (Summer).

At the tail end of Spring, I posted Merzbow’s Pulse Demon here on my sister site. I noticed that someone from the New York City / Long Island area liked it and I decided to see who she was.

I saw her post occasional suicidal thoughts and had to intervene on sight, taking no chances. But Ruth assured me everything was OK and were just that - thoughts. On a happier note, she lamented on how she missed riding her bicycle because of how nice her butt looks. She got points for that one. The moment she felt sad about not being at the beach, I went for it and asked to take her. “Sure!” she said. Boxcars! To hear her say that made me feel so fucking good. It meant everything to me. With minimal worry, we were on our way in meeting each other soon.

* * * * * * * * * *

I gave it a few days to see how Ruth was doing. I texted her and asked her if she could go to George’s Vintage- one day with me.

Knowing me, I would’ve kept going because she was more than I had: nothing. There are nights I still think of her and sympathize with her hellish struggles. We should’ve been supporting and sympathizing. Instead, we despise each other. We have our own reasons. I can’t ignore the fact that she acted spitefully. I’ve been hurt way too many times but she didn’t see it, and those effects still linger to this day. Sadly, in Long Island’s disposable world of dating and meeting people, it’s all or nothing. No in-between, no gray area, no negotiations. Once it’s over, it’s over. And after all that happened, I don’t regret meeting her. Not one bit.

* * * * * * * * * *

Every evening after my workout session, I sit by the lakeside for peace of mind and meditation. Come 6-7PM I’ll watch families, couples, and groups of friends stroll along the decks and sandy shorelines under the setting sun behind the trees. The bright yellow sunbeam streams are blocked by the trees surrounding the water all around as the horizon turns different dim shades of gray, orange, turquoise, and dark blue morphing by the goodbye sun; peeling back all shades of light to reveal the moon hanging overhead. A car full of young teens pull into the parking lot behind the lake with The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights” blaring, the new Summer hit sensation. The daily treks through my neighborhood to the trails with an iPhone full of post-punk and d.i.y. grasping the aesthetic are over. I can never return. What a waste that I can’t enjoy myself in the very town that I live in, that is, unless I want to re-open new wounds and enjoy feeling sick to my stomach running into friends-turned-strangers who threw me away.

It's 2AM Monday morning. I’m in my own spacious backward sitting on the fresh cut grass away from the swimming pool. The full moon smiles down on me as it chases Saturn and Jupiter. Faint trails of clouds suspend themselves against the clear hazy milky skies. I hear the rushes of vehicles riding down the highway that’s 300 feet away from my home but the streams and perpetual frequencies of chirping crickets are closer proximity and priority. Charli XCX & Sky Ferreira’s “Cross You Out” and Grime’s “Violence” run burning hot and full of euphoric energy from my iPhone right to my head. In A Dramatic Gesture’s “Basic Aerobic” plays right after, a track that took me back to when I had more promise between us. But any time I think of how left-field The Mountain Goats sounded, it’ll remind me of her. I have forever quit them. Now those sounds are tainted by bad experiences, cruelties, and large pills hard to swallow. What a disgrace that it’s summer and there’s no one to share any moments with. No one to stay up with at night to talk about favorite music artists, the state of consciousness and well-being, or prying my mind wide open and say what I’m thinking or feeling - without repercussions or feeling demonized and vilified.

Who knows where she is or what she’s up to. Is she sleeping her precious daylight away? Did she find another guy to share her next drug journey with, or what sexual acts is he putting herself through? All I know is she’s having a winning Summer. I won’t.

Chasms: “Tears In The Morning Sun”

Zunz: “Four Women And Darkness”

Snarls: “What’s It Take”

Girl In Red: “Rushed Lovers”

DJ 3D: “How Many Ways” (Refreshers RMX)

Tops: “Seven Minutes”

Widowspeak: “Breadwinner”

Ripple: “Victorious”

Jade Imagine: “Big Old House”

Space Above: “Stolen Days”

Tempers: “Capital Pains”

Grimes & i_O: “Violence”

Weeknd, The: “Blinding Lights”

Charli XCX & Sky Ferreira: “Cross You Out”

RVG: “I Used To Love You”

Wye Oak: “Fortune”

Eddie Russ: “Zaius”

Progeny: “Wet Dreams”

Low Key Crush: “Shelter”

Cigarettes After Sex: “Young And Dumb”

Pink Gloves: “Wilderness”

Serfs, The: “Persona Non Grata”

Emma Ruth Rundle: “The Light Song”

Chvrches: “Forever”

Hit Parade, The: “Harvey”

Parrot Dream: “The Best”

Mr. Elevator: “Down”

Empathy Test: “Monsters”

In A Dramatic Gesture: “Basic Aerobic”

Masta Ace & Marco Polo ft. Smif N’ Wesson: “Breukelen Brooklyn”

Jade Imagine: “Remote Control”

Parlor Walls: “Lunchbox”

Look Blue Go Purple: “Grace”

Mountain Goats, The: various songs

#pop #folk #indie #synthpop #hip-hop #rap #psych #post-punk #d.i.y.#jazz #fusion #electronic #shoegaze #omega #Long Island #personal #mixtapes #music #reviews #playlists

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