#so have this instead I suppose
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She was keeled over the sink when she poured the chemicals on her arm, Joel finding her sweaty and crying as her knees shook, not knowing how to stop the pain.
He was so gentle. He held her against him, lowering her to the ground as he turned their tub on, keeping her arm under the steady stream of water as he gathered towels from the closet and found her a change of clothes.
She was sobbing against the side of the tub, gritting her teeth to try and suppress her screams. Joel was right there, his hand rubbing back and forth from the nape of her neck to the middle of her back. His other arm kept a hold on her forearm, keeping the bite under the water.
“I’m sorry,” she cried, Joel leaning his head against hers as she hiccuped.
“Why, baby? You had me scared shitless.”
“I didn’t- I wanted to- I fucking hate it-“
“What?” He glanced towards her under the water. Oh. “Your bite? Kiddo, we-“
“I hate it,” she pleaded, interrupting him. “Having to keep it wrapped up all the time. I have to look at it every fucking day. It reminds me of so fucking much, I wanted it gone-“ Saliva, snot, and tears were gathering in her throat, she could barely speak
He cut in, his thumb tracing back on forth on the underside of her burned forearm, right above her bite. “You should’ve come to me, Ellie. We would’ve figured something out.”
She looked down, avoiding his gaze. “I was afraid you’d brush me off.”
He let go of her forearm and grabbed her face, thumbs brushing away the wet streams costing her cheeks. “Why would I brush you off?”
She didn’t have an answer. She had no reason to believe he would; especially not now. They were together. He never brushed her off in the past and he surely wouldn’t start now.
But what if.
No, he wouldn’t. She knew he wouldn’t. But something…a small part of her said he would. And that’s all it took. That she still wasn’t family. That she was still cargo; a mere object he still had to get rid of.
He didn’t care.
He could see her eyes fading, growing distant. “Hey,” he called, voice gentle as he brought her back. “I would never brush you off. We would’ve figured something out, alright? Tommy and Maria would’ve helped.” He paused, combing a hand through her hair gently as he brought it back to her cheek. “We could’ve done something that didn’t hurt you, baby.” His voice started to shake, but only slightly.
He cared so much. A paper cut on her was enough for him to turn into a wild animal. Ellie never had someone to care for her like this and it was overwhelming sometimes. He came home early from patrol once after being radioed about Ellie falling. He always dropped everything to care for her; didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing. She was all that mattered to him.
“Alright, lemme see your arm.”
He dried the burn gently, wrapping a few bandages along her forearm to cover all the damage. “I’ll change them again tonight before we go to bed. Here,” he grabbed her extra clothes behind him and placed them in her lap. “You should change. Can you manage?”
All that came from her was a hesitant mhm as Joel helped her to her feet. He set the clothes on the sink, making sure she was steady enough to stand on her own. “I’ll be right outside the door, okay?”
“Yup.”
Their night was spent together, Ellie complaining about how much her arm hurts and Joel resisting the urge to make a backhanded comment to her about not pouring chemicals on your bare skin.
It was movie night and they watched Back to the Future, a favorite of Joel’s. Ellie wouldn’t stop trying to itch and scratch at her burn, so Joel held her hand, their fingers interlocked and resting on his lap. He tilted their arms a particular way, his forearm overtop hers so she couldn’t sneak an itch even if she wanted to.
Despite the burn only being hours old and their lack of painkillers to fend the pain off, the weight of his arm on hers was welcomed.
He traced circles over her hand and lightly tapped the pad of his thumb to the beat of Johnny Be Good, getting a few giggles out of Ellie in the process.
She nestled closer to him, her fingers adjusting in his grip as she held him tighter. His forearm covered any evidence of her bandages and, for a while, she could forget the pain.
Her hand was in his. He was all that mattered to her.
#this was supposed to be about how Joel seems to be the only one#Ellie is comfortable enough to let touch her arm there#but then it#well to be honest#I don’t know what happened#I don’t feel like writing more of my fic til tonight#so have this instead I suppose#idk what it is#L writes#the last of us hbo#the last of us#joel miller#ellie williams
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my chemical romance albums but make them (a24(ish)) film posters
#just for funsies…..#well they’re SUPPOSED to be a24 type posters bc i think they’re always neat but if they miss the mark who gives a fuck#i missed doing like strictly graphics based work instead of always cramming illustration in somewhere#also losing my job means i have a Lot of free time in the evenings after freelance and i am so bored all the time#anyways.#mcr#my chemical romance#i brought you my bullets you brought me your love#three cheers for sweet revenge#the black parade#danger days#gerard way#frank iero#ray toro#mikey way#mine#arty art
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Don't even look at each other before marriage
#You guys this took days to finish and i don't even know why OTL#now this was SUPPOSED to be a whole npmd main cast line up#but then i just... didn't wanna anymore haha so just these three :Bc#me realizing i wrote Save instead of Leave: :is big failure 😔😔😔#Hatchetfield#peter spankoffski#stephanie lauter#grace chasity#NPMD#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#taping my mouth closed to prevent the infinite complaints i have for this
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Batman: You need a new costume. That one provides no protection.
Danny: oh I cant.
Batman: You won’t owe me for it.
Danny: no I literally cant. Like if i remove it it just returns.
Batman:………. Explain.
Danny: look *takes off glove and explodes it into pieces*
*glove reforms on his hand*
Danny: see? Can’t get rid of it. It’ll just heal itself.
Batfam: …
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#batfam#danny fenton#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#Tim: I want one 😭#dick: it would save soooooo much time instead of manually repairing or replacing a damaged suit :(#Danny: I like yours though. you don’t have to change your entire reflection of how you view yourself to change your hero look#batfam: wut#Danny: my appearance is based on my how I view my identity. if I believe I’m supposed to look a certain way I will#danny: but since I’ve had this look for so long it’s hard to change it#Damian: can’t you add stuff to your suit?#danny: maybe? I haven’t tried since most equipment I had available would hurt/maim/kill me#Jason: that answer just created a million more questions how are you like this?
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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KAEYA BIRTHDAY ??? ?? i love you mr alberich sir i love you oh so so so much.
uh dialogue for this one but more legible under the cut (and a messy ragbros page)
Klee: Kaeya! Come down here!
Kaeya: Oh? heh. What is it, Spark Knight?
Klee: Happy Birthday! It is today? Right? I even double-checked with Albedo and everything but I don't know...
Klee: It's a Calla Lily! You like those, right?
Kaeya: I certainly do! Thank y-
Klee: Oh.
Klee: OK OK OK-
Kaeya: Hm?
Klee: Kaeya you have to promise to not tell Master Jean about this one!
Kaeya: You can count on me to keep my lips sealed.
Klee: OK! Close your eyes- eye- and hold out your hands!
Kaeya: Mhm!
Klee: OK! You can open them! TA-DA~!
Klee: I made a bomb for you! It even has an eyepatch! He can look after you when I'm somewhere else. Take good care of him! Oh yeah- He explodes if you- Kaeya?
Kaeya: Thank you Klee! Thank you very much!
Klee: You're VERY welcome Kaeya!
a lil ragbros too.... kaeya and his red siblings amirite (bursts into tears).. also i am so obsessed with chibi diluc saying "bring em in..."
#I LOVE YOU KAEYA#these were all drawn in the past two daysashhsdgg#i was originally planning on starting like at least a week in advance bc i wanted to do one big ambitious piece but that didnt end up happe#ing... instead he gets a little comic a bigger comic and a page and my undivided attention#genshin impact#kaeya alberich#kaeya#genshin impact kaeya#genshin kaeya#im putting em all in here f u#klee#diluc ragnvindr#ragbros#none of that kaeluc shit here alright thank you or go fuck off ok epic#my art#sona#these r all improvised. i went about the klee comic in the stupidest way possible bc apperantly i love making things hard for myself..#not like it was my fault- it was just supposed to be a concept for a finished piece and not turn into a little comic but i have no self con#rol clearly so now its here and i am jsut kinda sleepy sry#kaeya has been my genshin blorbo for over three years ok i needed to express a little of my feelings about him somehow#OK YAY ITS OFFICIALLY THE 30TH IN MY TIMEZONE SO I CAN POST THIS OK OK YEAH#HAPPY BDAY KAEYA AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭💖💖💖#this entire post is just me sobbing over how much i adore him#is this the longest wall of notes from me yet.. idk but it might be#ok anyways i love kaeya a lot send me anything kaeya and i will love you forever and ever and i should really go to sleep now i think#... .kaeya 🥰🥰🥰
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my hungry ass could not be a heart surgeon id bite it like an apple
#i did say i was supposed to draw a sexy vampire law for halloween#headache is still here tho + had to finish two inforgraphics for work so have a sketch instead#one piece#trafalgar law#equivalent exchange means whenever i draw law being a loserman i have to also draw him a being a ho#to keep the balance of the universe
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we're at it again🕺
#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#back on my bullshit woo yeah woo yeah woo yeah#genuinely a lot happier with this design than the previous ones. the lighter metal looks better on him#and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think#and you can see im trying to figure out how gill would carry his sword around#technically he should just carry it in his hands and don't have a scabbard because its a longsword and isn't supposed to be sheathed...#but like... its not practical to always carry it in his hands. especially in a day to day life. because he always has the sword on him-#but he doesn't necessarily always hold it? like. he needs hands for stuff#i think i like the back scabbard better (even if i drew the whole turnaround for the hip one) just because it doesn't mess with his tail#plus that way destiny's blade is higher up and gets to look around at stuff and i think its funny#but then like... the cape is a little awkward if it has to go above the sword...#but its not a big deal. if he has a cape and armor on he probably holds the sword in his hands anyway#am i putting too much thought into this unnecessary detail? yes#am i rambling in the tags again instead of making a separate post? also yes
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she turns, makes direct eye contact with you, smiles,
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#kristen applebees#kipperlilly copperkettle#buddy dawn#cw: blood#cw: gore#cw: violence#hello this is the first post on this blog. welcome. I need to offload my art somewhere outside of my usual sphere#anyways yeah. yeah#I just think making direct eye contact with the person your murder victim is supposed to mirror before murdering them is kinda vibe#thinking abt kipperlily and kristen and how kipperlily was meant to be riz's foil but#genuinely kristen works so much better as foil for her instead. like how would beardsley ever not have swooped in to steal this off of#murph's plate. order vs chaos. embracing the rules vs rejecting them for having always fallen through the crack by your nature#so my busted ass brain saw this moment of kipperlily KILLING kristen's foil and I went insane like she took him out of the equation#HE is no longer kristen's foil. KIPPERLILY is now. deranged I need to draw this Immediately#kristen seeing kipperlily with true sight... smiling at her..... the interference that now narratively connects them do you see#can anyone hear me. hello
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There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]
#hoh boy i was going to make a comic to introduce these monsters but#i couldnt help myself and made an animation instead#because i just think they're so neat and cool okay#listen i cant for the life of me just infofump about my AU and OCs#because i just think that making actual content about my lore and stuff will not only raise the chances of people being interested#but also it will also raise my motivation to actually produce more content other than the same old recycled front-facing-profile drawings#i need to get creative with my stuff or I'll also loose interest and I DONT want that#in order to be happy with what i have i cant just think about it and expect to be given something new NOOOO i need to MAKE it ughh#i cant believe in order to get more content out of my own au i would need to draw it and feed myself ugh ugh ugh unbelievable (kidding)#but also#i wanna make a little music video or animation again for youtube#its been a hot while since ive uploaded anything in there at all#maybe an animation reel will do for now?#i hope so :(#because ive been working on expanding the Black Scripts AU#and honestly i dont regret it#i had a lot of fun making up scenarios and comics for Stanley and the Narrator (Black)#but yeah!#apart from this little video#you wont be getting an explanation on what these things are supposed to be#and why theyre there#actually i was originally gonna make this into a full fledge animation with sound effect/music/frame-by-frame movement/etc.#but i got lazy HAHA#tsp blank scripts au#tsp au#the stanley parable#the stanley parable ultra deluxe#tsp
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so ive been thinking so hard about that transfem butch zoro au.
i feel like at the Very beginning (after kuinas death) she does try to present real feminine like but it doesnt feel like Her and eventually she stops doing it (and in any case its not like kuina was super feminine so why would she try to be like that??)
on the other hand she HAS to make sure everyone knows shes a woman when she beats their ass and becomes the worlds greatest swordsman. so sports bras (or equivalent whatever) and open shirts are a staple
i think she would do hrt (or equivalent Whatever) because again she wants to prove that kuina could have done it. unfortunately i do also think this means she trains about 1 million times as hard
trans sanji............. coming to the realisation that maybe she Wants to be taken care of by a hot butch........................ as a pretty femme
#the lil fashion drawing wasnt initially supposed to have a corset but i had a dream about it specifically irt sanji. so LMAO#one piece#zosan#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#sanji#art#the mellorine bullshit.......... i feel like. what happens is that sanji (using he/him Pre egg cracking)#thought she was a man at first. developed the rivalry. and by the time he realised she was a woman it was awkward for everyone to backtrack#but i dont think he could stand the idea that hes not treating a woman right and i also think that would be shitty lmao#but he just cant treat her like that. but he still sees her as a woman. i think instead hes acting in a way to affirm her butchness....#does that make any sense. adghdbshbjgg
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The one where having a secret lab in the basement is not as much of a red flag as it should be.
Because somehow, EVERY. SINGLE. ADULT. IN ALL OF AMITY. Have “secret” basements.
Sure, MOST of them have refitted them to act as emergency bunkers in case there’s another large-scale ghost attack, with rations and shields and blankets and all that, BUT. Even BEFORE the portal opened up, they were there.
Some of them were laboratories dedicated to one of many sciences. Some of them were just storage for the more concerning family heirlooms. At least one person kept the taxidermied bodies of each and every pet they had over their lifetime. Really, it was more odd for someone to not have some weird secret in their basement.
So when Danny ran from Amity and learned just how many people didn’t have strange, niche basements for their hobbies, he was a little put off. When he was eventually asked to stay with the Wayne family in Gotham, well, maybe he could have phrased it better.
How was he supposed to know that asking if they had a “super-secret basement either for your job, your personal life, or disaster prevention” would lead to them thinking he knew about their nightlife?
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#we always talk about how he would avoid creepy basements#but like? imagine if everyone had one???#and instead of thinking that it’s weird#Danny thinks having said basement is normal#and so when heroes go around in their civilian ID trying to get a read on this meta runaway#hero: do you need someone to stay? just for one night?#danny: I dunno… do you have a super secret high-tech basement?#hero: …no?#hero: (does he know?)#danny: you don’t? how am I supposed to trust you then smh
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Procrastination doodles of sabo for the king sabo au :)
#one piece#sabo#king sabo au#I wonder sometimes if I keep thinking about this au because i like putting my blorbo through crushing existential nightmares#something something. it must feel so wrong to him. to be born like this and know that he’s not suppose to be there#but not having the memories of times in the wild with his brothers to contextualize why he feels wrong or where he’s supposed to be instead#directionless. knowing that he has to exist for some reason but not the reason that everyone around him tells him he should exist for#and continuing to try to bridge the cognitive dissonance through fallacy after fallacy until he is in too deep to escape#anyways. thinking about Him#Him is the academia mentality of ‘just keep going and you’ll eventually reach the light at the end of the tunnel’#‘because you’ve tried so hard to get here and surely you must belong here because you’re so academically highly-achieving’#does that make sense? maybe the parallel is a bit of a reach. I could write an essay about it tbh#I love this au lmao it’s both a lot of projecting and a great chance to be like ‘god I can make him so much worse’
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Unrequited/One-sided Radioapple but it isn't treated like an angsty end of the world thing.
Imagine they slowly get closer after all the banters, and eventually becoming close friends. Lucifer ends up catching feelings for him, and after a long while, decides to confess and ask Alastor if he felt the same.
Alastor admittedly does not feel the same.
He's getting uncomfortable, struggling to keep his composure because he's DONE this before. He KNOWS how this ends. He remembers Vox and all his insistent declarations of affection and desperate pleas for Alastor to reciprocate; the possessive entitlement. He remembers how all those sickly sweet words morphed into something venomous when he didn't give the lowlife what he wanted. He remembers the anger, the ridiculous notion that it was Alastor's fault why he was so mad, that Alastor led him on and that he obviously deserved something in payment for it all-
So yes, Alastor knows how this ends.
It doesn't mean he isn't disappointed though, because he actually LIKES Lucifer, far more than he ever did Vox. Perhaps not in the way the king might have wanted, but he did. He treasured their little talks, their drinking sessions, their shared love for their instruments, Lucifers singing, their little duets, the banter, the playful jabs, the sparring.
He'd even slowly grown accustomed to the other's touches, not feeling the same surge of disgust and discomfort whenever the shorter man would grab at his arm in excitement, forgetting his usual thoughtfulness of Alastor's touch aversion for the short moment of whatever distracted him. Alastor even enjoyed it at times, relaxing at the feel of soft feathers beneath his claws, or the sensation of gentle scratches against his ears.
Difficult as it was to admit, Alastor had grown to care for the angel, the same way he had for Rosie orv Mimzy.
But no matter how fond Alastor was of Lucifer, it didn't change the fact that he didn't feel the same way romantically, or even sexually. No way in the 7 rings of Hell was he going to lie to Lucifer about either, not going to even entertain the idea of pretending he reciprocated for Lucifer's sake. He respected his friend too much for that.
So a clear, direct rejection it is. It was a shame, but nothing could be done. He said his piece concisely, and waited, shoulders set, back straight, smile and eyes a careful blank canvas as he prepared for the inevitable.
Lucifer nodded, a normal soft smile still in place, "Thank you for your answer, it means a lot."
Which......what? Alastor expected an outburst, or at the very least sharp words.
What he did NOT expect was....acceptance? And not just that but, a happy one? Contentment?????
"You're....alright with that?", he had to ask, he had to. Lucifer was clearly just very good at masking his upset.
But the damn angel just smiled?? And it didn't even look fake, just as bright and soft as his normal smiles, albeit a little confused?? Lucifer smiled at him, his brows furrowing in a bit of confused disbelief, as though Alastor is being the weird one here.
"Uhh, yeah??? Why wouldn't I be??? Yeah I may have some feelings for you but its not like you're obligated to feel the same. Above anything else, we're friends first and foremost and i'm alright with that..."
Then he seemed to have reached his own little conclusion as his words trailed off, because suddenly Lucifer's eyes widened in realization of something, and his words picking up with a sense of panicked urgency.
Alastor would really like to know what Lucifer's supposed realization was about himself because he had absolutely no clue.
"I mean, we ARE still friends right?? I don't- I- I hope this doesn't like- change your opinion of me. You're not- oh gosh I'm not making you uncomfortable am I? I- I won't mention it! You can even forget this whole confession ever happened! We can just go on as before! I don't feel any different or would act any different! Honest! I mean, I don't regret confessing because you deserve to know and I'm not ashamed of my feelings, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable! It doesn't change the way i'll treat you! Or change any aspect of our relationship! I don't even think I like you more as a lover than as a friend! I really, really do love our friendship, it matters more to me than any thoughts of being in a romantic relationship with you! So please just forget it all-"
Alastor let the word vomit wash over him, every word leaving him more confused by the minute.
Because yes, there's the desperation he expected, but...it was more about, convincing Alastor to remain friends?? Reassuring Alastor that nothing has to change?? That their friendship is the most important thing here??
(If anyone asks, no Alastor's heart didn't swell. Only lesser beings would have had the urge to cry, and Alastor is anything but.)
Lucifer is unknowingly reassuring Alastor of every single one of his insecurities about the situation. Because Alastor DID want to remain friends, he cared too much about the man to let it go so easily. It was rare to find people who treasure friendships above romantic relationships.
"I don't tend to forget easily, nor will I forget this one in particular.", he spoke, finally finding his voice. At Lucifer's defeated, pained expression( is their friendship really that important to him?), he continued. "But....yes. I'd like that.. To remain...friends."
He didn't often say the word out loud, being comfortable enough with each other that it need not be reassured with the label. But with Lucifer brightening up like his namesake, relief and happiness palpable, Alastor felt no qualms at declaring their friendship out loud.
So life went on as usual. True to his word, Lucifer remained basically the same. The following weeks were a bit stilted for Alastor, as he put some rather painful distance between him and the angel; limiting their interactions, their usual touches.
Anytime now, Lucifer would break and show his true colors, Alastor would think, waiting for the boot to drop. Lucifer would end up angry, and dissatisfied, and that was that.
But it never happened. Lucifer never expressed discomfort when Alastor avoided him, seeming to be understanding of the others need for space. He was just as affectionate as before, though initially a bit held back, as though gauging Alastor's comfort.
Months would pass, and the king never faltered. Their friendship remained strong, if not growing ever closer than before. Alastor found himself even growing more comfortable with the man. Affectionate touches were becoming common, hugs and head pats and cuddles being a welcome thing, with the reassurance that the shorter king would never disrespect his boundaries.
Lucifer seemed genuinely happy about it, despite being clearly told that none of Alastor's actions hinted at anything romantic. In fact, he seemed ecstatic that Alastor was getting more affectionate towards him as a friend. The embarrassment the radio demon felt at having Lucifer basically tear up (no really, he was crying so hard, full on drama sobbing) with joy in front of him was intertwined with the sheer incredulous fondness he felt for the man at that moment.
They were sitting at a couch one night, more than a year passing since that confession. Lucifer was leaning back, resting against the cushions, while Alastor had his head on the smaller one's shoulder, nuzzling at the crook of his neck, legs tucked close to his body. Both had a book in hand, two nearly empty cups of tea on the table in front of them. Every so often, Lucifer would flex his fingers that rested on Alastor's head, running a digit against the other's ear, often prompting the demon to lean into the touch. White wings enveloped the two, blanketing them against the chill of the night.
As Alastor turned the page of his own book, relaxing into the touch of his dearest friend, he wondered how he ever got so lucky in hell.
#this may have gotten away from me lmao#this was supposed to be a rlly short prompt of 'Unrequited love but overbrimming friendship' but instead i typed out this word vomit-#i don't know if im labeling things right here??? this may not look platonic tk others but ig im sort of projecting here#bc i want friendships like this soo badd. i mean this is still platonic right??? this is normal friendship behavior like come onnn#I've been teased about being ace bc of this mindset but i always just go RIGHT this is how friendship works y'all blind😭😭😭#bloopnik writing#bloopnik rambles#radioapple#appleradio#platonic radioapple#platonic relationships#aroace alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor hazbin#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor#duckiedeer#unrequited feelings#BUT NOT UNREQUITED LOVE HELL YEA#one sided radiostatic#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel#THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND ITS BEAUTIFUL#queerplatonic#i think#fic#fanfic#radiosilence
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Get Spr(ule)onkd
#I was supposed to finish this at least 5 hours ago but instead I added color (;▽;) one day i will sleep at a Normal Time#anyway hi welcome 196!! please stay omg#oughhhh god i have not stood up in like 7-8 hours i need food#siphisketches#my art#csp#get spronkd#reddit migration#r/196#196#spronkus kronkus#comic#artists on tumblr#id in alt#cw//#blood#violence#implied animal death#(Edit: okay alt text added in now! tried something different this time and just wrote it as a sequence of events instead of trying to#describe the visual composition of each panel lol -- it's a lot less wordy this way so hopefully it works better! Let me know what you thin#Also I fixed the boar label that I accidentally erased the first time -- should go without saying but just in case:#depiction of violence is intended for purely metaphorical purposes & I am not endorsing the use of cartoon rabbits as bear-trap guillotines
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now#writeblr#you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like#u don't HATE their partner explicitly#but ur like. what the fuck y'all#like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic#and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like#frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it#or ... that it really IS good#and it's just odd to you#tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship#like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend#it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time#around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like#.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think#but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something#but knowing you CANNOT#idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person#edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up#PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every#type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''
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