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snffbeebee · 2 years

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Blood Red Chapter 16

{ Catch Up With Part 15 }

Warnings - Same ol stuff. Language, Winchester smolder, sexy time..kind of. Deft some Sexy Sam and some good old scamming and lying.

Word Count - 12,318 (Yes it's a long one, all thanks to @ezilyamuzed)

A/N - My girl Sammy, out of nowhere, came to me with this amazing chapter! I know it's been forever, but just know that the ideas are rolling and the next few chapters are already in the works! Enjoy!!

At least a week had gone by since Dean and Sam had both agreed that Y/N was to stay, if only to keep tabs on her from any other of her schemes. Dean tried his best to stay away from her, but he always found himself wandering outside the dungeon door, wanting to go in. He was drawn to her. Each day the mark called out more and more for her. Wanting to punish her for all that she had done. Wanting to hear her scream once more.

Her smug smirk on those rosy lips had stayed constant in his mind. Although she was their prisoner, she acted like she had won. His nightmares were getting worse with each day to the point where he didn't know if he was awake or dreaming half of the time. He found himself in a constant cold sweat, dodging shadows he would catch in the corner of his eye. He had even reached the point of hoping that it was the ghost of Sean, but he hadn't seen him or been tainted by his presence in days. It wasn't until he awoke to a feeling of someone, rather something on his bed did he realize that he had completely lost his mind.

”Who’s there, ” Dean sat up straight in his bed and turned on the light in a flash, only to see his younger self staring back at him.

“Look at you,” he criticized. “You’re pathetic. Laying in here while she’s in there taunting you, mocking your reputation. She’s a demon. You're a hunter. Do what you’ve been taught. What you’re born to do.”

“I’m just dreaming,” Dean tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. To his dismay, the ghost of his past self did not move.

“I’m not a dream, Dean. I’m you, inside of your head. The part of you watching as you let everything crumble around you. You’re weak.”

“Yeah, well fuck off,” Dean grumbled. “I can’t kill the bitch.”

______

One week ago…

“So?” You retorted. “How are either of you better than me?

They couldn’t answer. Both of them looked at you with disdain, not only to you, but themselves as well. They couldn’t argue their past. Dean as a demon, Sam without a soul. Both had caused immiscible pain to those around them. The only difference now was that most of the people they had hurt were gone now. Only you were left to remember the truth behind it all. You were the last one standing in the chaos that is the Winchester’s.

After leaving you, eventually Sam came back in alone. This time with a small cot, pillow, and a BLT with a beer. A Winchester peace offering.

“I don’t need to sleep or eat Sam,” you scrunched your brows. “So why are you doing this?”

“If you’re going to be staying with us, at least I can do this,” he gave you a tight lipped nod.

“Why?” You cocked up a brow. “Why would you care?”

“Because you’re right. You could have killed us, multiple times,” he ran his hand through his hair to move it from his face. “And...and I can't believe I’m saying this, but I believe you do want to do good.”

“So then what’s with the demon trap and cuffs then,” you shook your hands to let them clang off of each other. “I mean, thanks for the bed, but I’m pretty sure you have other rooms that I can go into. That is, if you haven’t completely destroyed it already.”

“I said I believe that you want to do good,” he quipped back. “Doesn’t mean I, nor Dean, fully trust you.”

“Fair enough I guess,” you rolled your eyes as you sat on the bed, bouncing a bit on it. “I guess it’s better than concrete.”

“I’ll bring in a tv too, maybe some books as well?”

“Whatever floats your boat, Sammy,” you ignored him as you laid down to stare at the ceiling. “It’s not like I have much say in the matter.”

“Alright,” he sighed out.

You watched him out of the corner of your eye, as he hesitated for a moment before turning around and to walk towards the door. You caught the glimpse of his hand shaking by his side.

“How’s the bloodlust going by the way? Feeling it?”

“I don’t have bloodlust,” he turned around. “I’m fine.”

“ ‘Kay,” you clicked your tongue off the roof of your mouth. “Because if you did, I may be inclined to help.”

“I don’t need help from you,” he murmured.

“Alright then, have fun,” you mocked. “Let me know when those hands of yours stop shaking and you stop thinking of my blood on your lips.”

“I thought you couldn’t get in my head?” He said with a rasp in his voice.

“I didn’t,” you sat up with a grin. “I only guessed. You just confirmed it.”

“I’m fine,” he growled, standing up straighter.

“I need that on a T-shirt. The famous Winchester saying, ‘I’m fine’. You know what happens when either of you say that? Shit happens. Of epic proportions,” you remarked. “You knew what was going to happen the first time you drank. So why are you making yourself go through detox now when the world is still crashing down? Hmm? Afraid that big bro will find out?”

“I’m not listening to you,” he turned his back to you again, two steps closer to walking out the door.

“I guess it’ll just be lil ‘ol me then when Dean snaps again. Hopefully, by then I’ll be allowed to walk around free,” you day dreamt out loud. “It’d really be a shame for him to all of the sudden hurt someone else, with no one to stop him.”

“Stop,” he commanded, his head slightly turned but with his back to you. “I know what you’re doing.”

“One thing I know for sure, is that you don’t know anything Sam Winchester,” you chuckled. “You think you can handle everything all on your own. Figuring out a cure from books that belonged to cowards hiding under ground? Think you know what will finally make him snap? What might save him? You know nothing.”

______

Present time…

“Dean, earth to Dean.”

Dean’s eyes blinked rapidly as he regained his bearings. He was in the war room, a book laying in front of him with Sam staring intently at him from behind his computer.

“Yeah?”

“I asked you what you wanted for dinner? Pizza, burgers, or Chinese? What’s wrong with you?” Sam furrowed his eyes. “You spaced out there.”

“Just tired of reading the same thing in these books,” he slammed the cover shut on the one in front of him. “There’s nothing in here about a spell that gives a demon that much power.”

“So we keep looking,” Sam replied with a sigh.

“For what?” Dean snarked. “For ‘a how-to kill an unkillable demon’ brochure? Doesn’t exist!”

“How much sleep have you been getting?”

Dean grumbled as he got up to grab the bottle of jack that sat on the stand in the corner. He poured himself a glass, swirled it around for a second, before bringing the sweet amber liquid to his lips.

“It’s 11:30 AM Dean, “he could hear the contemptment in his brother's voice.

“I’ll add orange juice then,” he sassed as he took another sip.

“Dean, I-“

“What do you want from me? Hmm? I’m here. I’m trying to keep focused but everywhere is a dead end.”

“Maybe if we talk to Y/N again,” Sam suggested out loud.

“And she’ll do what? Give us more half ass answers? She’s not going to give us anything but warnings that “evil is coming”, he made air quotes with his hands. “Whoop De doo. It’s just another Thursday.”

“You really need to get some sleep,” Sam shook his head as he stood up. “I’m grabbing pizza. Call me if you want anything else.”

Dean’s upper lip snared at Sam’s judgemental tone as he got up and left. What did he know? He wasn’t the one on edge not knowing what was real or not. How to stop the pain from burning every time Y/N’s name was spoken. How to live with his own monsters haunting him while he was awake? He knew nothing.

_____

Five days ago…

You heard the scream echo through the halls. Not even a rerun of the Gilmore Girls’, ranting about nothing could drown it out. It was Dean again, stuck in another nightmare. It wasn’t you causing it though. It was the mark.

You worked the cuffs off of your wrists as you looked at the time. It was about 2 AM. Both Winchester’s had been typically asleep at this time, but since your unveiling, they’ve slept in shifts to watch you. What they didn’t know was as you easily crossed through the barrier of the devils trap, you’d leave a vision of you laying there with your eyes closed. Just in case you didn’t make it back in time for your check-in.

You had found Sam sound asleep with his head laying next to his open computer. The screen had gone dark. Must have passed out a while ago. You made your way towards Dean’s room. You could hear him arguing on the other side.

“Leave me alone!” He yelled with ferocity.

“I will when you figure it out Dean. What you have to do,” you heard Sean’s unmistakable voice.

“I won’t do it!”

“There’s only one person who can stop her, Dean. Let him out to play,” he replied. “He’s inside of you waiting.”

You felt a wave of anger hit you as you heard Sean’s words. That ghost had crossed a line from annoying, to a liability. Let him out? Hell no. You couldn’t let the demon side of Dean come out. No way in hell that would end well for anyone, especially if he figured out that he had the power to kill you, but just needed the tool. The tool that so happened to be in Crowley’s possession. Crowley… time to pay him a visit.

You snapped yourself to the ally of his liar. Settled within the arts district of one of those lost corrupt cities in America. A well selected spot for non the wiser to see odd things coming and and out. You knocked on the door to see the little eye hole slate open up, black eyes staring at you.

“I’m here for Crowley,” you stated.

“Name?”

“It’s under, open up or I’ll kill you,” you smiled sweetly.

“Go away bitch,” the man behind the black eyes growled.

“Have it your way.”

In a swift kick, you popped the door off its hinges. The demon that had stood behind was knocked out cold with the blast. You entered deeper into the liar to where his throne sat, knowing that was probably where he was sitting with that smug smile of his. With every step came almost as many demons trying to stop you. Trying was the key word. You only vanquished about 6 or so, the others had just wished they had.

You opened up the heavy doors with a push of both hands and saw Crowley there, just as you suspected. Sitting with that stupid smirk on his throne.

“You could have rang,” he stated as he brought his drink to his lips. “Less messier.”

“Not as fun,” you sassed while crossing your arms and popping your hip out. “We have a problem.”

“It seems to me like you’re the one with the problem. I hear that Sam and Dean have figured out your little secret.”

“Old news, old man,” you snarked. “I’m talking about your pet ghost telling Dean-“

“Fergus,” you heard a very familiar and distinct voice behind you. You turned your head around slowly. Rowena? She was alive? How? And who the fuck was Fergus?

“Oh, what a mess!” She gasped as she neared Crowley.

“Y/N,” Crowley spoke up. “Meet my irritating and incessant mother, Rowena. A powerful witch I may add.”

“Mother?” the words left your mouth with a horrible taste. “Your Crowley’s mama? How the hell is that one possible? You’d have to be-“

“Don’t you mind my age or I’ll cut out your tongue,” she warned with a stern look.

You raised your brow to her. Did she really just threaten you? The bitch forgot who she was talking to. There was no way you were going to take that laying down.

“Try it and I’ll pluck out every last strand of the gorgeous red hair and make you eat it,” you challenged.

“Oh I do like her Fergus,” she smiled as she continued to walk towards Crowley. “She has fire.”

You stood there in confusion. What type of hell paradox did you just walk into? And why was she pretending like she didn’t know who you were?

“Anyways,” you rolled your eyes to Crowley. “That ghost of yours, he needs to go. He’s trying to get him to do things, bad things. Like bringing back our summer friend. You know, the dark eyed reckless hothead? I don’t think either one of us wants him around.”

“Suicide hmm,” Crowley pondered. “Well that wouldn’t be ideal. Not unless of course you were dead first so you couldn’t ruin my plans.”

“Me dead or not, you already know your plans are bullshit,” you retorted. “He’ll never follow you. Demon or not.”

“Perhaps,” he replied. “But perhaps my plans for him have changed?”

You glared at him hard, but kept Rowena within the corner of your eye. What was she telling him? What devious plan had she been whispering in his ear?

“I’ll tell you what,” he slapped his palms on his knees and leaned up. “I’ll tell you where to look to get rid of your ghost if you allow my mother here to figure out the spell behind your condition?”

You shot her a hard look. She didn’t tell him. But would she actually help him?

“No fucking way,” you seethed. “You tell me or you’ll have to attend her funeral.”

“Threats like that are no use dearie,” she spoke up. “One does not come to associate with demons without a back up plan.”

She smirked at you, knowing that you had let her live once that it was unlikely to happen again.

“I’ll just figure it out on my own,” you shot your glare back to Crowley. “I’m not letting some...thing that produced the likes of you touch me.”

“It only takes a drop of blood,” she informed you. “What is the harm of that?”

Your gaze went back to her as she stood there revealing a knife that she had hidden in her bodice.

“What are you doing with him?” You asked her in her mind. “Why are you helping him?”

“Plans change, don’t they dearie?” You heard her respond within your thoughts as you watched the smirk rise on her lips. “You already know it won’t work and you know why. Just give him the satisfaction. Make him believe you will comply.”

“If I do this, that doesn’t just mean that you only let me kill that asshole’s ghost once and for all, but it also means that you leave me and them alone. No more interfering. No more tricks.”

“I will only come when called,” he promised. “Do we have a deal?”

You opened up your hand and lifted it out for Rowena to take a sample of your blood. You watched as it trickled down and she caught it in a little vial.

“If you double cross me, I will kill you,” you said loud enough for not just her, but for Crowley to hear your words.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she looked to you through her lashes as she placed the lid on it. As she turned, she gave you a quick wink. Maybe her being involved with Crowley wouldn’t be a bad thing or maybe, you had just sold yourself to the devil once again.

“There, now that that is done,” Crowey grinned. “Cellphone. The silver one. Behind the battery. A lock of hair from our dearly departed.”

“Really?” You sassed out. “His phone?”

“Even a hunter such as yourself could not find it, now could you?”

You snapped yourself out with a roll of your eyes. As you arrived back at the bunker you saw that Sam had moved to his bed and Dean was sleeping as well, tossing and turning in sweat soaked sheets. You picked up his phone and pulled the back off to find what you needed. You snapped yourself back outside, just beyond the bunker to say goodbye, once and for all.

“I’ll be back,” the vision Sean seethed as you held the lock of hair in your fingers. “You can not escape me.”

“Goodbye Sean. Rot in hell,” you stated as you sparked the lighter to burn the hair. His ghost turned to flames in front of your eyes, screaming for vengeance until he turned to nothing but ash. Burning away all you wanted to forget.

______

Present time…

“That was Cas,” Dean looked over to Sam as he clicked off his phone. “He said it was an emergency. We need to get moving.”

“Well let’s go,” Sam replied. “We’ll bring Y/N.”

”Why?” Dean snarled with a raised brow. Why would Sam even think to bring her? So she can screw up someone else's life? And didn’t he want to keep her hidden in the bunker so Cain couldn’t find her? What was he thinking?

”She’s a good hunter, Dean, ” Sam bounced back. “She can help.”

“No way,” Dean looked up to him with a glare. “She’s a demon and this is Cas. I’m not bringing her around him.”

“Think about it Dean,” Sam turned his head sideways. “You’re on edge. I can see it. Hell so can she”.

“You’re talking to her about me now?” Dean snarked. “What, have you been braiding each other’s hair and gossiping every night?”

“No Dean,” Sam shot him a look of annoyance. “She just points out the obvious. Besides, whatever it is that Cas needs help with, don’t you want backup?”

“To do what? Have some pissed off girl time? I don’t think so. Let’s go.”

“Not without Y/N,” Sam moves to stand taller from the table as Dean stood up.

“You really want to bring her along? What will you do when she snaps and decides to murder someone, huh?” Dean growled between his teeth.

“Y/N has done nothing but sit here trying to get through to you Dean. Trying to get you to trust her. She’s still Y/N, can’t you see that?”

“Jesus fucking Christ. She’s a demon, Sam. One that can’t be killed apparently! Don’t you see that? How can you trust her after everything? I thought you got that. She’s not the same person anymore.” Dean looked to his brother's face for any indication that he knew he was right, but there was nothing. Sam had fallen under whatever spell she put him under again, making him vulnerable to her lies. Dean hated her for whatever this was. How could he not see what was happening?

Dean knew he couldn’t fight him on it and win. He nodded his head to his brother and followed him to the dungeon to get her. Not with Y/N still poisoning his mind with sitting here all sweet and innocent in the dungeon. No, he’d have to let her out. Let her play some. Then Sammy was sure to see what a real monster she was.

_____

Two days ago...

“Any news about when I will be pardoned Sheriff?” You teased Sam as he entered the room.

“Are you comfortable?” He quickly changed the subject.

“I mean, the amenities aren’t the best. This is definitely not the Ritz, but at least the staff is cute,” you giggled.

“I was just checking in, seeing if you needed anything,” he blew out a puff of air that he had been holding in while looking anywhere but your direction.

“The question is, what do you need?” You addressed the elephant in the room.

“I don’t even know anymore,” he sighed out while rubbing the scruff on his face. “Hope. Hope would be nice.”

“For you or the one who has either gotten into some serious BDSM porn at night or is fighting himself to sleep?”

“Both,” he shook his head with another sigh. “He’s getting worse.”

“No shit.”

“How, how do I-“

“Control the monster?” You interjected, awaiting for his slow nod of confirmation. “You can’t. Not really. What he is, it’s more powerful than either one of us alone. The only thing to do is to stop trying to fight it so much, and maybe it can be managed. At least a little while longer.”

“That’s insane,” he snared. “Think of the people he would hurt. Hell, who he has hurt.”

“Oh trust me Sammy,” you laughed back. “I know what Dean Winchester off the rails is capable of. But I also know what he is capable of if you do give him that little inch. Let him feel like he is more in control. The last few weeks before you found us, it wasn’t him who was doing all the dirty work.”

“...you…”

“I guess the demon was inside of me all along Sammy. He just showed me how to play. Scary part was,” you paused and let the words dance off your tongue “ I liked it.”

“That’s not you,” he gasped back, trying to believe his own lie.

“It was me though Sam,” you continued. “We never really hurt anyone good. Only the bad. Think about what we do as hunters. We stop evil. Dean and I just took it to another route. We got the job done and then some.”

“This is insane,” he shook his head again.

“Think about when you drink Sam,” you snapped back. “When you feel the warmth; the power. You feel invincible. You want to use it. You want to set things right. Someone tries to take it away and how do you feel? Hmm? Betrayed? Like another monster that needs to be stopped? That’s what he is feeling right now.”

“You don’t know anything about what I go through,” he snapped back, his voice getting deeper.

“Well the circus is on its way to town Sammy and unless you loosen that chain a bit, you will be the one singing with the clowns.”

You watched as his breathing got heavier, his fist clenching. He was angry, but without words. What you said was starting to spark something in him. You had played it wrong before; trying to convince him that you wanted to save Dean. No, what you needed Sam to prepare for was a fight and right now, he looked like he was finally ready to begin.

“Make sure when shit hits the fan that you keep that key close. I wouldn’t want to miss the show,” you nonchalantly added while grabbing the remote to turn your attention away from him.

Before you could hit a button you felt his hand grasp at your hair, pulling you back with brute force to stare into his hazel eyes.

“There he is,” you smirked widely . “Are you finally ready to play to win?”

“You shut your mouth,” he growled, his eyes darkening with fury.

“Or what?” You clicked your tongue against your teeth. “You’ll make me? You’re too...sweet for that dear Sammy.”

His hand grasped your hair tighter, as he stared down into your eyes. You felt your own eyes darken, reminding him of what you were and what he wanted. You watched as his breathing came unsteady as he looked along your throat, watching your veins pulse in anticipation. This was it, he was going to cave into his desires once more.

“No,” he growled as he let go of your hair, throwing your head forward in the process.

“No what?” You exclaimed.

“No,” he turned his back to you, moving to a table within the room. You watched as he picked up a blade, the dim light shining off of the cool steel. He turned to you, grasping it in his hand. “No, I’m not so sweet. I’ve been too nice to you. You don’t deserve kindness. You deserve something else.”

“What? A long winded talk from you? Empty threats with that thing? Please. You know that can’t kill me.”

“It doesn’t need to,” he replied flatly. “It just needs to really hurt.”

You felt a ping of excitement. This was a Sam Winchester you had not quite seen before. He was unhinged, released. Perfect.

He stalked you as his grasp moved higher on the hilt of the blade.

“What do you think you’re going to do with that?” You challenged.

“Whatever the fuck I want,” his words dripped of venom. “Scream if you’d like. It’s just you and me.”

He ran the blade across your neckline, cutting just deep enough for a small trace of blood to drip down your skin. A smirk rose on his lips as you grimaced just a bit for show. He liked seeing pain. He desired it.

Pushing you with ease down onto the cot, his hand nestled itself around your throat, tightening with every breath. You allowed a faint sound of trying to gain air escape your lips, only prompting him to push in harder against your windpipe. Your eyes never left him as they turned almost as dark as night with anger and pain.

His hand stayed on your throat, as he used his other to cut down your shirt with the blade, tearing it open to him. He looked pleased with himself as you laid there helpless and vulnerable to only him. He continued to dance the steel along your skin, making little cuts along the way. As fast as they would heal, was as fast as he would open them once more. The glare from his eyes was cold, causing shivers to run down your spine.

“You're nothing but a demon whore, Y/N. Here taunting me with your blood,” he gripped at your throat. “You want to play? Well, let's play.”

You stared up at him through your lashes. His eyes were no longer hazel but dark with lust. A grin crept along your lips.

“Let the games begin.”

_____

Present-day…

“Well hello boys,” you smiled as you moved from laying on your stomach across the bed to a sitting up position while stretching your arms. “Didn’t expect a visit so soon.”

“Get dressed,” Dean commanded as he stood next to Sam.

“For?” You popped off your lips as you stood up. Showing the boys nothing more than a little tank and underpants covering your body.

“We need to help out a friend,” Sam spoke up.

“So go,” you shrugged as your eyes glanced towards Game of Thrones playing on the tv. “I’m catching up with Mr. John Snow at the minute. Boy, does his family have issues. Not Winchester level, but still.”

Dean rolled his eyes to the TV that sat by the bed. He hated how Sam had given in to giving you comforts of normalcy.

“We’re not leaving you alone here. Not out of our sight again,” Dean spoke up as he clicked off the TV.

You raised your brow to Dean while glancing over at Sam. Something was up. He wouldn’t just agree to this. Dean was planning something.

“Fine,” you crossed your arms. “But the cuffs have to go.”

“The cuffs stay,” Dean growled and looked over to Sam.

“Y/N,” Sam sighed out. “We need your help, but the whole situation is well...”

“We can’t risk any of your tricks,” Dean interjected.

“Tricks are for kids”, you smirked. “Take off the cuffs at least so I can get dressed and give me ten. I’ll be ready.”

You watched as Sam and Dean did their little nod to one another as they walked out of the room after Sam uncuffed you, but not before rubbing his fingers along the vein down your wrist. Big boy was getting hungry again. Good.

This case was special to them, but why? Something was definitely up with this case and with how Dean was acting. The leash he had on you was loosening, time to put on your best act so maybe he could finally trust to take it off so the real fun could start.

_____

“So who’s the friend? You don’t really have many of those,” Dean heard Y/N speak up in the backseat, the clanking of her cuffs on her wrists hitting as she moved.

“Castiel,” Sam spoke up. “Cas. He’s an angel.”

“You mean like a nice guy or a real…”

“Real angel,” Dean answered. “Will smite your ass in a second.”

“The one that was in that god awful musical?” Dean smirked while thinking of the case she was referring to.

“Yes, ” Sam snickered from the passenger seat.

“So does he really have a hard-on for you, Dean? You know, like that one seemed to?” Dean heard the smirk in her voice. “I'd love to meet the other half of destiel.”

Dean glared over to Sam who was trying to stifle out his chuckle. He forgot how much the bitch might have known from her time of stalking them. No bother. Cas would see right through her act and give her a taste of her own medicine. Even on his weaker days, Cas could take her down. A demon never trumped an angel.

_____

“Dean. Sam,” the gorgeous blue eyes sparkled as he spoke in that gruff voice that demanded attention. He was a hottie for an angel. Those blue eyes glared over to you and turned dark with disdain. “What is that doing here?”

“On chante,” you smiled as you batted your lashes to him and raised your ironclad wrists.

His eyes furrowed to you before moving back over to Sam and Dean towering over you. God, you felt so tiny in between these three giants of men. So, tall, muscular, and powerful… Your mind started to wonder if like his comrades, Castiel was well proportioned as well. A smirk rose on your lips daydreaming what it would be like to seduce an angel.

“She’s here to help,” Dean spoke up.

“You brought a demon to help find Claire? Are you insane? Do you not understand the gravity of the situation?” His eyes shot like daggers at you. Yup, he’s not a fan.

“Claire? Claire Novak?” Sam furrowed.

“Yes, Sam. Claire. I, well, I found her in a group home and got her out. She was miserable. We came here to the restaurant to eat and she stole my wallet and left. She’s gone. I think she may be in trouble.”

“This is why you called us? THIS is your emergency?” Dean barked. Cas tried to defend himself, but it was no use. “No, Cas! An emergency is a dead body, okay? Or—or a wigged-out angel, or the Apocalypse, take three. Some chick bolting on you is not an emergency. That’s … that’s every Friday night for Sam.”

“Dude.”

“Well,” Dean shrugged.

“This isn’t just ‘some chick.’ I’m responsible for her,” Castiel stated in a softer tone. You could hear the guilt. He really did feel responsible for her.

“Since when? You met her once, how many years ago?” Dean blurted in annoyance.

“Look, Cas. Even if we do find Claire … Then what?” Sam interjected.

“She rolled you, and then she ran, okay? It’s pretty clear that she doesn’t want to play house,” Dean spoke up again.

“I understand. But I need to know that Claire is safe. And I need your help,” Castiel begged a little more. He was desperate.

“All right. Uh … Why don’t we go ask around at the group home?” Sam spoke up after a deep sigh.

“Uh, you know what? We’re going to stick here in case she circles back. You go ahead take y/n with you,” Dean stated as he handed him the car keys.

You paused in reluctance as you saw Sam give Dean that furrowed look initially, but grabbed the keys anyway. What was up with this girl and why did an angel give a damn about her?”

After driving a bit you finally decided to break the ice with Sam on what exactly you had gotten into and what the deal was with the Dean and Castiel bromance.

“So Castiel is, interesting…” you mumbled.

“He’s a good guy,” Sam stated while No taking his eyes off the road. “Just doesn’t always make the best judgements.”

“Would going after some teenage girl be one of those not so best judgements?”

“Claire,” he breathed out her name as if to inform you although you had heard her name enough just moments ago. “Cas’ vessel, the body he is in. It belonged to Jimmy Novak. Claire’s father.”

“So what? It’s not like that Jimmy guy is using it anymore?”

“Claire was young when Castiel took over, but not young enough to not remember. She lost her dad because of Castiel.”

“So he is blaming himself for her being a teenage rebel?”

“Guess so,” Sam muttered.

“Do you blame him?”

Sam looked at you with worry on his face. He did, but at the same time he had guilt for not. He was conflicted.

“I can’t say it was right…” Sam trailed off back to paying attention to the road.

“You guys do need my help,” you laughed out loud.

“And why is that?”

“Well, if this girl’s issue all revolve around daddy, 2 large hunters and an angel that looks like her dad is not going to convince her to do anything else than to continue rebelling. It’s basic science. More than likely she’s already attached herself to a new daddy figure that is the one prompting her to do stupid shit. Hell, that’s what I did.”

“And what, you had daddy issues?” Sam chuckled.

“I wrote the book on daddy issues there Sam,” you laughed back. “Eventually she will get older and wiser, make better choices… or get good old revenge. Hopefully she doesn’t have to die first like me to realize that though.”

Sam nodded softly as he continued driving. You found yourself lingering in your thoughts. Daddy issues? Yup, you had them. Your therapist said that’s why you attached yourself to the wrong men. You only proved her right to land right into a vamps trap all those years ago. Dean… he was supposed to be different. The one who wasn’t like the rest. Jesus. What a cruel cosmic joke that he ended up being worse than the rest in the end.

____

“Find anything out?” Dean asked as Sam got out of the car. He had gone to the group home with only a name to go by. Dustin Tate. Maybe y/n was right. Maybe she did attach herself to a guy.

Now to find him or better yet her before she ended up becoming just like her. Maybe for Claire, it wasn’t too late.

____

They boys were talking on and on about what they knew about Claire. For a hunter, Sam’s investigation skills sucked. He didn’t seem to get much of anything or he was holding something back.

Cas still wasn’t trusting you. His eyes kept glaring at you as you leaned against baby.

“She’s cuffed,” Sam replied as if he read Cas’ mind. “She can’t use any of her powers.”

You held up and shook the cuffs to make a nice clink sound echo around you as you flashed him your best smile. He wasn’t buying it. Tough sell. Guess you’d have to find this girl of his to be on his good side. The trick would be, doing it without the use of powers, at least to their knowledge.

“So what good is she then?”

“She was a hunter,” Dean added. “She’s one of the best at finding missing people. We’re vouching for her.”

“Very well,” he quickly gave in. Obviously he trusted Dean and Sam. Especially Dean. Guess that whole bromance thing was real. If you were ever going to get him to really trust you, Dean would be the only way. Great. That'd be like Stalin attempting to use Hitler to gain Mussolini’s trust. Impossible.

You smirked a little as they continued to speak about Claire, thinking about how although you were the smallest between them, you had the most power. A click of your fingers and they would all be down on their knees. These giants of men had no clue about the inner workings of a teenage girl as they continued on about what she may be doing. God they were helpless.

“She’s an angry teenage girl,” you spoke up, causing the silence between them. “So who’s her beau? Or chick? I don’t judge.”

“Excuse me?” Castiel glared at you.

“Her beau. Her other half. Dean to your Castiel?,” you smirked. “Her boyfriend or whatever, jeez.”

“She doesn’t have a-“

“Sure she doesn’t. Sam got the name of some guy, so I’d start with him,” you rolled your eyes as you looked over to Dean. “Where did the damaged teenage girls find you during your bad boy school days?”

“I don’t see how any of this is relevant,” Cas spoke up again, annoyed and impatient. Typical angel.

“Teenage girl. Daddy issues. She’s bound to have attached herself to a bad boy. Probably one that she met at school or that kiddie prison. Find the boy and you’ll find her.”

“Dustin,” Sam replied softly. “The social worker said she clung to a Dustin Tate when he was there.”

“Okay, so again, where do we find the bad boys?” You repeated.

“Parks,” Dean spoke up. “Bowling alley, convenience store-“

“Library,” Sam chimed in.

You and Dean both gave him upturned looks before Dean continued. Sometimes you forgot how much of a nerd Sam was, although doing it in the library was a fun idea. You wondered if Dean ever told him about your time in the library.

“Bar,” Dean glanced over to you. Yup, a common factor in both of your teenage years. Using the fatherly advice of Jack Daniels and his pal Jimmy Walker. Doubt this kid was that fucked up though to be like either of you.

“She is not at a bar,” Cas glared.

“Where’s the closest fast food place around here,” you said as you looked down the street.

“You think she might be there?” Sam spoke up.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “Also, some fries sound fucking fantastic right now too. Oh, and a milkshake.”

“We are not going after food,” Dean growled. “Now are you going to help or not.”

“You wanted my help because I’m the best at this right?” You shot him a firm look. “This is a small town. Not a lot open and by the looks of it, not a lot of hang out spots for teens. One common thing most of them have is the need for greasy food. Find a pimply teenage boy running a shit hole chain counter and we will find where the rest are hiding.”

“She’s right,” Sam replied.

“Well duh,” you rolled your eyes. “And when we find her, I expect a large fry as a reward.”

“Cas, you go with Sam to the Weiner Hut place we saw just a few miles back. See if they know her or that Dustin kid. It’s near the police station, so try there too to see if they know either of them. If she’s been caught enough, they will know her spots and who she associates with. Y/N and I will take her lead at the north end of town by the bowling alley and bars,” Dean commanded with intensity causing you to smirk. Alone with Dean? His idea. Well, isn’t this nice…

As everyone parted you leaned up against baby as Dean was rummaging through the trunk for supplies. With the arsenal he was gathering, you could tell he was hoping to kill something tonight, maybe someone.

“Alone at last,” you sighed off into the cool night air. “ Small town, baby, and you and me on our way to go kill something. Seems like old times.”

“Shut up,” he growled as he lowered the trunk.

“So why did you choose to be alone with little ‘ol me? Hmm?” You hummed. “I could have very well gone with Sam.”

“Sam needs a break from you”.

“Or you’re just jealous that he spends so much time with me. Afraid I’ll corrupt baby Winchester?”

“More like fuck up his life too,” Dean snarled.

“Oh Dean, you boys do fine all by yourselves in that department,” you chuckled.

Arriving outside of the crappy, dime a dozen fast food chain that caused grease to clog your arteries just by the smell you looked at Dean who was casing out the place.

“See your girl?”

“No.”

“Let’s go inside then,” you said as you walked to the door.

“You can stay out here,” he barked. “I don’t want you fucking around with other people.”

“Jesus will you get off your high horse there Dean,” you snapped back. “First of all, I don’t randomly fuck with people. Only people who deserve it. Second, how many times do I have to tell you, if I wanted to do harm, I would have when I was free when you thought I was human. I haven’t done anything lately, so why don’t you give it a rest?”

“Fine,” he grumbled, pushing past you.

“Chains off first before we go in there though.”

“What? No,” he snarled.

“We can’t go in there for answers if I look like your prisoner Dean,” you snarked back. “Unless you would like to explain it to them?”

Dean stood there glaring hard at you. You were right and he hated it. He moved to his pocket, pulling out the key.

“If you do anything-“

“Then you’ll kill me,” you cut him off. “Yada yada. Let’s go.”

He worked the lock off and slid them off your wrists to place them in his pocket.

“No funny business,” he warned. “Including magic.”

“I’ll pretend to be as boring as you are Dean-o,” you winked with a smile before moving away from him. “Now how about those fries.”

Walking in you had the overpowering smell of mold and hormones. Yup, teenagers were running this place. There was a young guy behind the counter, perhaps of legal age, but that didn’t matter for what you were going to do.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

“Hey there cutie,” you purred with a smile. “Are you on the menu?”

The guy who’s name tag read “jimmy” just blushed and nervously smiled.

“Actually, another time perhaps if you can help me? My partner here is helping his boyfriend find someone. She’s about your age, blonde, cute, has a tight ass that you could bounce quarters off of-“

You heard Dean clearing his throat with annoyance. Good.

“She goes by Claire,” you continued. “Or maybe you know who she hangs out with? Her family has been looking for her for a while and they will pay handsomely to anyone who can help.”

“Are you two cops?” his eyes widened.

“Oh God, no sweetie, ” you giggled. “More like private bounty hunters. Her family is loaded.”

“She never said-” he stopped himself quick.

“So you do know her?” you raised your brow. “Where can I find her?”

_______

“When we find her, let me try to talk to her,” Sam looked over to his worried friend.

“She will never forgive me, even if we find her. I can never gain her forgiveness.”

“Well, we're going to try. She's young. It's hard to understand why things happened the way they did,” Sam attempted to console the angel next to him.

“You forgive all who hurt you? Took your family away? Cas glared back at him with inquisitive eyes.

“No, but-”

“Then how can you say that she will?”

“Because sometimes we make mistakes. Everyone does. Even angels.”

“And demons? Do you believe your friend, Y/N, had made a mistake? Have you forgiven her?” Cas’ eyes had a glare of light hitting them from the street post as he asked his questions.

“Demons lie, I know,” Sam sighed. “She's a different type of demon though. I can't explain it but-”

“She has a soul Sam,” Cas informed him. “Her face does not match a regular demon. It's different.”

“What?” Sam shot back. “What are you saying?”

“I'm saying that her soul is there; tortured, broken, and darkened. Like the midnight sky. She's not just a demon, she's- something else I have never seen before until tonight. Her soul is not hers to control. It's masked by something else, someone else perhaps. The question is, can you forgive someone who is powerless over their own soul?”

_____

“Well that was easy,” you chuckled as you gracefully pulled out a fry from the cup in your hand and took a little nibble of it. “And you didn’t want to bring me.”

You let out a girly chuckle as you ‘bumped’ into Dean playfully. You saw how his jaw clenched during that moment. It bothered him. In a good way?

“So what’s next, Winchester?” You asked as you offered him a fry. He shook his head to decline.

“We find this guy's house and we convince Claire to come along with us.”

“Wow, you are a bunch of idjits,” you stopped in your tracks. “You think some teenage girl is going to just leave with you because you ask? Maybe back when you were like in your 20’s, but now? That’s like weird sex trafficker vibes. You’re old enough to be her dad.”

“Excuse me?” He shot a hard look at you, jaw tightening even more.

“This isn’t the same situation as when I first met you,” you explained. “You didn’t have the ‘I’ll murder anyone who gets in my way’ look. You were cute and lively. Not such a grump.”

“And your thoughts?”

“I could talk to her,” you shrugged. “I mean, if she says no I could always make her…”

“You’re not touching her,” Dean shot at you hard.

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes. “But seriously though, you can’t expect someone who has already run away from your friend to just come running to the guys he’s hanging with? Even if she is in trouble, at least it’s trouble she knows.”

“We’re not discussing this. Let’s find Sam and Cas to see what they know.”

_____

Dean was surprised to see Cas had some teenage boy by his neck lifted off the ground. Must be Dustin. As he ate the last of the fries he had acquired from y/n after leaving her in the car he calmly warned the kid to listen to Cas and do what he says.

The kid sang like a canary. He only confirmed what the other kid said. She’s been hanging around some douchebag named Randy and now she was about to get herself into deep trouble. He had only hoped that what he just did could help save her. If not, he knew Castiel and Sam would never forgive him.

“Claire, wait!” Cas called out as he followed an angry Claire outside of that convenience store. Dean was relieved that they got there in time. No gunshots.

“Screw you.”

“Whoa, hey, Miley Cyrus. Settle,” Dean attempted to gain her attention.

“Eat me, Hasselhoff.”

“Claire, hold on a second. Look, my name’s—“ Sam joined in only to be interrupted.

“Sam. And you’re Dean. We’ve met, remember?”

“Claire. You were going to rob that convenience store?” Cas bellowed.

“So?”

““So?” So … it’s—it’s wrong!” His voice got deeper.

“You want to talk to me about wrong? You killed my dad. Is that “wrong” enough for you?”

“No, I didn’t.” Cas was lying. Dean knew he blamed himself. Hell, Dean even blamed himself a little as well.

“Really? Because without you, he’d still be here. And my mom would still be around.”

“Claire, I’m—“ Cas began to move towards her only to have her pull out a gun from her pocket and aim it at him. She wanted him not to move. Cas informed her that the gun wouldn’t do anything, making her point it towards Dean and Sam. Dean felt the mark boil as his muscles tightened.

“Whoa! Hey, come on.” Dean stated with his hands up.

“Hold on a second.” Sam added.

“Why? Like you don’t have it coming? You stood there while this monster took my dad.”

Dean felt the lump move down his throat. There it was. The guilt. The aftermath of all the bullshit in their lives. What happens to the ones they leave behind. Like y/n… he left her behind. He suddenly started to remember how hurt y/n had been even before she turned demon. She was left behind. Forgotten.

“I used to pray to you, Castiel. Every night. I would beg you to bring him home safe,” Claire confessed as she withdrew the gun.

“I know.”

“You know … My father was a good man. In what messed up world does he have to die and you get to live?”

“I’m sorry,” Cas replied. That, that was the honest truth. He was.

“No. You feel guilty. There’s a difference,” Dean could hear the tremble in her voice.

“So what? Now you run back to Randy? The guy you steal for?” Sam asked.

“How do you know about that?”

“Dustin,” Dean admitted.

“Claire, that man is using you.”

“He was there for me. When things got bad—and they got REAL damn bad—he was there when no one else was. HE’S my family. And you’re just … you can go to hell.”

_____

“Hell’s too posh for those boys,” you stated as you walked from beyond the shadows to Claire, just about half a block down from where she had just put your pains in your ass to shame.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Not important there sweetie,” you smiled. “Let’s just say, I’m with the badass female group and you my dear are badass; however, you’re wasting your potential on these idiotic men.”

“What the fuck do you know?” She started to turn away and continue walking until you spoke up again.

“That Randy guy promised you a family?”

She turned back wide eyed as if she couldn’t understand how you would know. You knew alright. Heck, it was like staring at a mirror.

“Thought so,” you smugged. “Now Claire, tell me this. How many family’s do you know ask their kids to risk their lives and freedom for what equates to about $60 and some change in a cash register?”

“He would have come for me,” she gritted her teeth at you. This girl was brave. Stupid, but brave.

“Has he come for you yet?” You asked. “All those times of coming and going from that group home. Has he once came for you? You’d think a man like that with such high value for family would have done his best to make sure you were safe.”

Claire’s gaze wandered away. You hit the nerve you needed.

“Look; I’m not trying to promote the 3 stooges back there, but they want to help. They can help. If you’re in trouble, they can get you out of it.”

“I’m fine.”

“Then why are you robbing stores then Claire? Hmm. Bored?”

“It’s none of your business,” she seethed.

“Well fine then; have it your way. But Castiel, Dean, and Sam aren’t leaving until they know you’re safe. I’m not leaving unless I know you’re safe either. You can trust that.”

“I can’t trust anyone,” she stated tearfully as she turned and ran further down the street. You stood back a moment, watching her leave as you felt that ping again. That one that you had been working so hard to ignore. Pain. But it wasn’t yours, not this time. You felt her pain. You felt it all the 27 blocks you followed her home.

You looked inside the house to see a group of men and one tied down to a chair in the middle. “Well hello Randy,” you said out loud as you watched Claire pull out a gun on them only for the men to laugh and take it and her away. You had the urge to snap them all out of existence right then and there. Problem solved, but you couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t. And Dean was the reason why.

30 minutes earlier.

As you approached baby the clicking sound of the cuffs rattling around in Dean's hands stopped you.

“Well I guess my fun is over,” you stated as you handed him your fries and attempted to grab them from his hands. “Here, I’ll put them on.”

“I’m letting you go,” Dean stated as he continued to walk forward.

“What are you talking about?” You snarked. “I thought you didn’t want to risk any of my tricks? Why all of a sudden the trust?”

“Right now I'm doin' all I can not to come over there and rip your throat out. With my teeth,” Dean stated so coldly that you felt a shiver. “But you’re right. She’s not going to listen to us. She may listen to you. She needs to. Whatever this kid is getting into, I have a feeling it’s bad. I need you to watch her. Follow her.”

“And what about Sam and Cas?”

“I’ll handle them”, Dean stated.

“And what do I do when I find her, hmm?”

“No tricks,” Dean warned. “Just try to convince her to listen to us and if she doesn’t, watch her.”

“Boring,” you snarked. “But fine. I’ll be your watch dog. What do I get in return?”

“You get to walk around free,” he stated. “For now.”

Snapping yourself to the bar Dean, Sam, and Cas was a minor trick in your book. Not one he’d ever truly disapprove of especially with the way those guys hauled off Claire. They need to get there and they needed to now.

“Dean,” you blurted out as you entered. “We got to go!”

“What the hell are you doing out of those cuffs?” He asked in a firm, angry tone. Guess that was his way of handling it. Pretending that he wasn’t the one who freed you.

Sam followed Dean’s rapid movement to push you outside. Castiel stayed close until everyone was out.

“Why do we need to go? What’s going on y/n?” Sam asked frantically as Dean slapped the cuffs back on you.

“Claire,” you rasped out. “These men; they have her. I think she’s in trouble. Big trouble.”

“Where?”

_____

Dean sped baby as fast as he could to the address Y/N gave. She did it. She did what she was told. So why did he want to rip out her throat so badly?

He tried to channel his anger that was burning through his veins on the road and the task at hand. Claire was in trouble. Whoever tried to hurt her was going to regret it. That he knew for sure.

____

They left you in the car. You stayed still patiently waiting although everything told you to move; get in there. When you saw Castiel bring out Claire with Sam following behind, you finally worked the door open to stand in the cool night air. It was over. She was safe. Then there was a moment of dread.

“Um where’s Dean?” You spoke up right before hearing the gun shot. Before anyone could move you used all your force to break the cuffs on your wrists they put back on you and snap into the house.

There was blood everywhere around you, walls and doors dripping with bright red splatters. It looked like a damn horror show before you. Dean snapped. He finally fell off the edge and it wasn’t even your fault. You turned your head to see Dean stab his knife deep into one of the pervs chest. There was one guy left begging Dean for his life as a sauntered towards him with the blank stare of death in his eyes.

“That’s enough Dean!” You screamed only for him to plunge his blade into the last man standing in fear.

You had tried to stop him, pulling his arm to release the blade when he turned in plunged it deep into your chest.

“Dean,” you choked out as the wind got knocked out of you, pushing you up against the wall with the blade deep inside of you. Your anger rose as you pushed him back with all your might, knocking him into reality. His eyes widened in shock as he realized what he did. He pulled the knife out before backing up from his spot.

“Y/N, I-“ Dean dropped down to his knees, dropping the knife to his side. You shook your head as you watched the mark on your chest now healing itself.

“Dammit Dean. What the fuck happened?”

“I don’t...I don’t know.”

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?!” You yelled as you looked to his confused, guilt ridden stare.

You knelt down next to him, putting your hand below his chin to lift his face to yours.

“Dean, this isn’t you. It’s the mark. You have to be stronger than it, or you're going to tear yourself apart,” you found yourself pleading.

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. You will keep fighting, because that’s what you do. You always keep fighting.” The words that fell off your tongue gave you a shiver. What was that? Hope? Compassion. Why did you care that he was falling apart? You wanted him to.

“Dean!” Sam called out as he stopped suddenly from his sprint into the room to see the massacre that he was moments too late for. Cas and Claire followed, her screams echoing the room. Cas held her close and looked at you and Dean, frightened at the sight. Sam dropped his knees in front of Dean, which made you move yourself out of the way. This was not the time for you to say anything. He held his brother's face in his hands. Begging for an answer.

“Tell me you had no choice. Tell me you had to do this,” he begged.

Cas glanced around as he backed away with Claire outside, trying his best to console her and get her away from the nightmare. He looked back to meet your eyes, as you sat there quietly and moved the knife away from Dean’s reach. Sam‘s gaze shifted to you. You could tell by his questioning eyes that he was unsure of if it was Dean or you that had painted the room with their blood. You saw the light of hope diming out of his eyes that it was not Dean as he failed to answer his questions. You shook your head to him and turned back to Dean, his eyes blank, trying to find the words to explain.

“Come on Dean,” you moved his face to yours. “We got to go. Now.”

“I-I”

“Now,” you looked over to Sam that moved from his spot to help pick Dean up from the ground. Sam stared at you while he flung Dean’s arm over him and carried him out. You stood amongst the chaos and felt a tear roll down your face. It had surprised you for a second as you wiped it away. This...this was not supposed to happen. This felt wrong. You shook your head and took in a deep breath as you closed your eyes. Moving your hand up you focused on the room; the bodies and the blood. You snapped your eyes open and flicked your wrist to watch as the crime scene turned to ash before all disappearing into nothing. Back to a dump that no one would ever care about. Back to normal. You let out a deep breath, and turned on your heels, going back out to the mess that you knew no amount of power was ever going to fix and for once, it pained you.

You walked out to the three men there staring at you. Dean was sitting in the backseat of baby with the door open, still zoned out and covered with blood, cowering his head down in between his knees.

You looked over to Cas’ car, Claire sitting inside still in shock and crying her heart out. Poor girl. Those guys deserved it, but that didn’t mean that she had to see it.

“I need to take Claire somewhere,” Cas spoke up.

Sam nodded in response, glancing down to Dean.

“Will you-“ Cas paused, looking to Dean as well as he continued to speak to Sam. “Will you be alright.”

“I have it from here Cas,” Sam quietly responded. “I’ll call.”

Cas nodded to Sam as he moved from his spot, but not before glaring at you, hard. You rolled your eyes, trying to act like it didn’t bother you. You knew that look though. It was blame. He was blaming you for Dean going off the deep end. Any other time and you’d gladly take it as a compliment, but this? This was unprompted. Everything that just occurred was because of one thing: the mark. Your eyes glanced at it lingering on Dean’s arm. You had seen the terror that it caused when he was a demon, but now as a human? This was worse and it was not going to get better anytime soon.

Sam and you watched as Cas drove off with Claire. The silence of the night was suffocating. You reached down to the ground by Sam and picked up the broken cuffs.

“Here’s your cuffs back Sam,” you said while tossing them to him to catch. “Not very strong.”

“How did you get out?” He looked at them and then to you, confused at how it was even possible.

“Nothing can really hold me down for long,” you gave him a little smile. “I mean, A+ for effort, but if I really wanted to get out, that would have happened days ago.”

“You didn’t though,” Dean spoke up and looked at you with solemn eyes. “You tried to stop me and I-.”

“Maybe now you can trust me when I say I’m here to help,” you quipped back, trying to break up the chick moment . “ Now let’s go get a beer and some food. I’m starving”

——-

Dean sat quietly in the front seat as Sam drove. His head felt like it was on fire and fogged by smoke. The images all flashed in front of him every time he tried to close his eyes. The blood. The screams. The hunger for the thrill of more. He adjusted himself in the seat, knowing that rest was not going to come easy.

“Dean, I-“

“Drop it Sam,” Dean let out, rolling down the window to feel the fresh air hitting him. He glanced to the side mirror, seeing the wind whip Y/N’s hair as she sat there quietly looking out the window as well. For a brief moment her eyes caught his in the mirror staring at her. She didn’t make a face or anything, but rather gave him a sweet reassuring smile.

“We should be back by morning,” Sam stated. “We will figure this out Dean.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dean rolled his eyes before glancing at the mirror again. She was still looking at him through it, steady with a softness to her face. God she was beautiful when she wasn’t such a manipulative bitch. This though? The girl who ran to his rescue and tried to stop him from falling over the edge, that was Y/N. The real one. Sam might be right. Maybe she was still in there, hidden deep down below all the anger and hate.

“He doesn’t understand what it’s like,” he heard her voice in his head as he watched her glance over to Sam. “He’s not like us; stuck between worlds of the living and monsters.”

Dean didn’t argue but attempted to close his eyes once more. The flash of her face as he drove the knife into her chest went before him. He could feel the pure joy that he had felt in that instance, right before the sickening grief that he had hurt her yet again. Yeah, sleep wasn’t happening.

“Hey Sam,” Y/N spoke up as she leaned herself to the front. “I don’t want to be the party pooper here and all, but I suggest we get off the road for a bit.”

“Why?” Sam turned to give her a glare.

“Say some 3rd shift rookie decides to pull us over for whatever reason and sees what we look like. Do you want to explain that one? I mean Dean is covered in blood and bruises, you have some on your shirt and so do I. Next thing you know we will be spending the night in lock up while they investigate, trying to pull a great escape.”

Sam let out a deep breath that was loud enough to make Dean glance over. Why was Y/N so geared to stop? She was right; anyone that saw them would immediately lock them up and throw away the key just on suspicion. For sure when they ran the prints and realized that all of you had records, warrants, and amazing recoveries from being dead. But since when did she care about that? Not like she couldn’t just snap herself away if she wanted to. Hell she’d probably enjoy watching Sam and him being locked up.

“Next town is 10 miles. We will stop there,” Sam gave in.

After driving for what seemed like forever Sam pulled into a small motel. He was the least suspicious and Dean trusted him more than Y/N, so he went inside to check in.

“Hey Sam,” Y/N spoke up. “I can hear your stomachs both growling. Why don’t you go and grab something to eat?”

Dean had noticed that Sam gave her a look like he wanted to tell her no, but she placed her hand gingerly in his arm making him stop from saying it. Dean felt like he was staring at what looked like an awkward prom date rather than his brother and ex, now demon. He turned his head and went inside, trying to ignore that it bothered him the slightest.

“We will be fine Sam,” She sighed. “He will be fine.”

Y/N walked in slowly, shutting the door behind her. Dean flopped himself down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“You shouldn’t lie to Sam,” he spoke up, not looking at her. “You and I know damn well I am not fine and will not be anytime soon.”

“It’s because you're doing this all wrong Dean,” she spoke up, leaning herself against the dresser by the bed.

Dean sat up to look at her and watched as she peeled off her jacket, revealing the blood stained shirt underneath with a knife hole right in the front. She caught him staring and looked down to pick at it with her finger.

“You owe me a new shirt,” she chuckled before turning to serious. “But I’m glad it was me and not anyone else.”

“Not Sam you mean,” Dean tossed his legs off to the side. “What is going on between the two of you anyways?”

She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows to him like she didn’t understand. She did though, Dean could tell. Her poker face was horrible.

“The way he listens to you and trusts you,” Dean continued. “Tell the truth. Did you do a spell on him? Because I really don’t buy into my brother being that stupid to trust you. I’d like to think that someone who went to Stanford has a little more common sense than that.”

“No Dean,” she shook her head. “I didn’t put a spell on him to trust me.”

“So what is it then? Because I really don’t want to have to worry about Sam going crazy right now with everything over whatever bullshit you have cooked up.”

“It’s you dumbass,” she let out a quick breathy laugh. “Dean, both of us are concerned about you, and after tonight I think there’s definite proof to be. You didn’t exactly play nice there.”

Dean moved his eyes to the floor as he felt his hands start to shake. They were so stained with blood that he feared that no amount of penance would ever wash it away.

“Look, besides Crowley I’ve spent the most time with the other you. Darkside Dean. I know I tease a bit, but he’s a dick and I’d like to keep him away as long as possible,” he looked up to her crossing her arms across her stomach. “Sam is human. He can’t step in like I can. He definitely can’t take a random stab or gunshot to the chest and walk away, unless there’s something I’m missing. But I know what will happen the day that no one can stand in your way and it won’t be pretty. It’s going to be a fucking nightmare bigger than what just happened. Epic bloodshed. Cas might be able to help a little; but he’s weak and conflicted with believing that you can be saved. So I’m here to help. Help you control it, at least until we figure this out.”

“How do you expect to control the monster?” Dean looked up to her, feeling the tears in his eyes. “Look what I did to you.”

“And because of that, I’m probably the only one that knows what it’s like. To feel that anger, that hatred. The longing for a kill. I know I can’t say that I’m perfect, although I’m pretty damn awesome,” she smirked at him, making him let out a low chuckle. “But I’ve figured out how to channel it.”

“You have it all figured out,” he snidely laughed. “That’s rich.”

“You’re still alive aren’t you? After you’ve stabbed me multiple times I may add. I’ve learned to focus on the bigger picture.”

“And what’s that?”

“Life, Dean. Living free and not being afraid anymore,” she let out a sigh. “I know that you don’t trust me. Probably won’t ever, and I can’t say I blame you, but I’m not going anywhere. You can’t hurt me Dean. Not anymore. Now it’s my turn to stop you from hurting yourself.”

“And how do you suggest that will happen?”

“Well first off, you need a shower,” she smirked. “Ya stink bad and the feeling of all of that blood on your skin is holding in that guilt and shame. You need to wash it away. Clean yourself up to a fresh view. Yeah you got a bit carried away back there, but you and I both know that those guys deserved it. They were going to hurt Claire or someone else if they weren’t stopped. So in the long run, you probably just saved a bunch of people.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Dean shook his head. “I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop. It wasn’t until I saw the look on your face did I realize what I did…”

“It gets easier Dean,” she assured him. “When you feel that itch, I can help you scratch it. Safely. I know it goes against your moral code, but saving people is what you do right? That’s the family motto. I can help you so that no innocent gets hurt anymore.”

“Yeah, cause Sam will just turn his eyes away from that.”

“Sam doesn’t need to know,” she replied softly. “Unfortunately, he will try his best to stop you at every chance. He does have that infamous Winchester hero complex after all. That’s kind of what led us here in the first place. You, human, struggling with the mark and me, a badass demon. But he doesn’t get what you’re going through. I do. If anything, trust that.”

“I can’t hurt anyone else,” Dean shook his head. “I won’t do that.”

“Then we will figure out some other way,” she moved to him and sat down by his side. “Hell, I don’t care if you need to stab me a 1000 times to stop the yearning. You have to keep buying me new clothes however because the random stab wound look was so last summer.”

“It felt good,” he scrunched his brows. “Hurting you. I don’t know why. Those guys, there could have been a hundred of them in there but I felt nothing but rage. It wasn’t until I stabbed you that I felt something different… something calm.”

“Good to know,” she breathed out as she looked away briefly in a pause as if she was attempting to not speak whatever was on her mind. She knew why. How could she? “We can work through this, but you can’t keep denying it’s hunger when it happens. It’s going to eat you alive .”

Dean let out a deep breath, thinking of what she was saying. Could it work? Could he really figure out a way to control it? Did she really care? With everything he had done and the fact that she was now free, why didn’t she just put him out of his misery now? It’d be easier in the long run to shut down all his emotions again. Howling at the moon without a damn care. But he did care and apparently so did she. Everything she was saying seemed so genuine, but could he really trust her?

“And Sam doesn’t have to know,” he found himself asking.

“It’ll be our little secret.”

My Loves

@ezilyamuzed @daughterofthenight117 @redlipstickandthewinchesters @chocolateheart @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @ain-t-bovvered @ladysparkles78 @waywardbaby @nanie5 @ladywinchesterslibrary @calstielwinchester @lyarr24 @explorethelittlethingsinlife @yuki-chan23

#supernatural family #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean x reader

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springautumn · 8 months

Text

𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐲𝐨𝐧

Eddie Munson x Reader

part one | part two

Summary: Never in a million years did you see this happening, nor did you want this to happen. But the breakdown was inevitable. (aka break up sex)

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; smut; p in v sex (unprotected); consensual sex (Reader is 18 and Eddie is 20); fingering; angst; hurt/no comfort

A/N: I rewatched Skam (original Norway) and the Eva/Jonas breakup scene had me bawling! (Repost since it didn't show up in the tags the first time)

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

Everything was perfect. You never knew happiness like this – the kind of warmth that bloomed inside and filled your tummy with butterflies. You felt it every time you were with him.

When you spent your days at Lover’s Lake, dancing to the songs playing from the van’s radio. When you spent your nights lying in bed with him and laughing at his jokes. When you spent pretty much every day with Eddie, when he smiled that infectious smile.

But this feeling was indescribable. It felt like agony, like your blood was churning and sucking every thought, every feeling and every word into a black hole, burning through your body and leaving a giant scab where your heart was supposed to be.

For Eddie, the feeling was different. He knew what heartbreak felt like and it was fucking terrible. It felt like he was stood frozen, unable to move no matter how much his mind was screaming at him to, rendering himself helpless until hours later, when his anger would rip him apart.

Right now, as you stood a few steps away from each other, you both felt this awful feeling in your own ways, the short distance between you now an island.

You both knew this was coming one way or another. You both came into this relationship with no experience, yet that never mattered. The love you had for each other was bigger than that, pouring out of you in waves, flooding your time together with bliss. Soon enough, you realised it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

No matter how safe and loved you felt when you were with him, you could feel Eddie slipping away. You began to spend less time together- from every day to once a week to maybe twice a month. When you did spend time together, it didn’t feel the same anymore.

The less time you spent together, the more your insecurities came to the surface. You worried he had found someone else, someone better than you, someone more like him. Likewise, Eddie felt he was not worthy of you. He thought you would soon escape the clutches of the small town that was Hawkins, ready to leave him behind after graduation and move onto greater pastures.

You were afraid that bringing the bad stuff to the surface would taint the good. So, you buried your feeling, choosing to ignore the problem and spend time with Eddie like you had before. With that, Eddie’s worries drifted away, finding himself back into his halcyon with you- he thought that since you stayed, nothing was wrong.

You stayed with him because no one could make you feel as happy as Eddie could. You chose to focus on the good rather than the bad, thinking that with time, it will all go away.

It was never going to be just good. That nagging feeling started to grow in the pit of your stomach, building and building, slowly at a snail’s pace. Nothing had changed- you were both stuck on a bridge where neither of you budged until it was too large for you to ignore. That was when it hit you – unless the both of you fixed it, this wasn’t going to work anymore.

But that was the problem – neither of you knew how.

And you told him so, stood at his desk while Eddie sat on his bed, his eyes jetting across the floor as he processed his words.

Deep down, a part of him agreed with you. He loved you and he knew you loved him too. He also knew he loved you so much that he was willing to do anything to save the relationship. He would change; he would learn to until his body bled.

He was about to argue as much, plead his case until he made the mistake of looking at you. His words died on his tongue at the sight of your tears, taking in your hunched stance to your bruising grip on the table behind you. This was eating at you on the inside.

He made a promise to you right from the beginning that he would never hurt you. But he broke that promise without even meaning to, making him feel a thousand times more shattered than he felt five seconds ago.

Eddie’s lips trembled. Blinking away the sting of tears, he stood up, slowly approaching you until the breadth of distance between you closed and you had to crane your neck to look him in the eye. He cupped your cheek with a shaky had, his thumb gently wiping away your tears that trickled down your face. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes when you felt his noise tenderly brushing against yours.

Eddie closed the remaining distance between you, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. With a small, sharp inhale, you kissed him back without hesitation, melting into each sweet kiss after the next. You moved together, Eddie’s arms weaving around your waist and your hands cradling the back of his neck, gripping each other like a lifeline, desperate to cling to what you had before it was all gone.

His tongue ran over your bottom lip, prying your lips apart as he licked into your mouth. You sank into the intense need to feel him, moving together as the languid kisses turned ravenous and more desperate.

This was a bad idea. But you needed this. After God knows how long, you needed this and Eddie knew – somehow, he always knew.

Your fingers dug into Eddie’s hair, gently moving up until you were scratching his scalp as he pulled away from him to catch your breath. Eddie didn’t let you go far, nose-to-nose with him, his eyes burning into yours, gazing at you in clear sadness before something in his eyes changed.

You held onto him tight when he lifted you, turning to his bed and reaching behind you with one hand, removing the covers and setting you down on your back. He lifted his shirt off before he leaned down, crawling until his face hovered over yours, resuming his kisses, slow and earth-shattering.

You felt like you were floating, all the thoughts in your head drifting away the moment you gave in. Nothing else mattered, just Eddie’s lips slotting over yours, kissing you over and over as if he couldn’t get enough of your taste.

His hands wandered up and down your sides, tugging your shirt up until was completely lifted off you. The goosebumps that rose from the cool air was soon replaced with the warmth that radiated from Eddie, his body flush against yours.

You let out a whimper when Eddie dropped a chaste kiss on your neck, moving to kiss down your body. He stopped when he reached the waistband of your jeans, looking up at you to see the same unreadable expression in your feature. You both knew that if he went further down, you would slip back into his arms and never leave, starting the cycle all over again. He couldn’t do that to you, not when you were so close to escaping the trap.

Eddie couldn’t look at you without caving. The sight of your face in bliss would send him over the edge, rip his heart open until he begged you to stay – but he still had some pride in him. Quickly unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them off your legs, Eddie then moved up and buried his head in your chest, kissing and sucking the exposed skin above your bra.

You forgot how to breathe, the background fading into white noise. You could feel yourself slowly slipping away from your scattered thoughts, until all that you could focus on was the feeling of Eddie’s lips on your skin, the feeling of his rings gently pressing into your thighs as Eddie’s hand wandered up to your underwear.

His hand slipped underneath the damp garment. You let out a gasp when he pushed his calloused finger inside you, stopping when he was two knuckles deep, sliding in and out with ease.

Your head lulled back onto the soft pillows, gasping for breath as Eddie worked his finger in and out, your legs beginning to tremble as the warm pleasure built in your core. Eddie pulled down your bra, immediately laving his tongue across your sensitive nipple.

Your hands closed around his biceps, fingers digging crescents in his skin when Eddie sunk a second finger inside, a cry escaping you at the tight sensation. He held you in place with a hand on your hip as you writhed on the bed, working a steady rhythm with his fingers.

He knew when you were reaching the end. He memorised your tells from experience, so he pushed even further, curling his fingers to meet your sweet spot, letting out a groan against your chest when you clenched around his fingers, your gasps turning into moans and whimpers. Moments later, you opened your mouth in a silent scream, letting out moans as your orgasm washed over you, body trembling as the pleasure filled you.

Eddie pulled himself free and lifted to his knees, his slick-covered fingers travelling down your stomach, slowly caressing your skin as if it was a work of art. He pulled your underwear off, groaning when he saw your wet pussy, the slick on your thighs.

You let out a soft hum, your body relaxing against the bed as you came down from your high, reaching for Eddie when he leaned back over you, his chest meeting your bare breasts. Your hands dropped down to his belt buckle, hurriedly taking the belt off and pushing his jeans down until they were off entirely.

You wonder what it would be like to kiss Eddie now. Should you kiss him now? Would it be a gentle kiss or would it be heated, passionate? You cupped his cheek, running your thumb gently against his full lips, unable to tear your gaze away from his.

Eddie watched you for a moment before he dipped down to your neck, trailing hot kisses down the side, taking off his boxers. He needed to feel you fall apart under him, wanting this to last forever, wanting to leave his imprint on you.

He eased himself inside, pushing in slowly to the hilt, both of you letting out sighs. It had been too long. His hand stroked your thigh, encouraging you to wrap a leg around his waist as he thrust in, starting at a steady rhythm while his kisses on your neck grew fiercer.

You moved together, his thrusts deep as you rolled your hips to meet his, your hands mapping a trail across his back, needing to feel him. Being in his arms, letting the euphoria take over you both – it felt so right. Yet, you could feel what this was, what it meant. Maybe that’s why it felt different, why it felt so much better than the times before.

Eddie’s thrusts picked up, becoming stronger and deeper, your moans growing louder. You clenched your jaw when he hit your sweet spot over and over, willing yourself to push down the telltale warmth building inside you.

Eddie moved his head away, lifting to lock his eyes onto yours. “Let go.”

You shook your head, tears brimming to the surface. Eddie softened his gaze, his hand coming up to cradle your head, thumb lovingly stroking your temple as he nodded encouragingly.

“Let go,” he softly repeated.

The tears spilled out onto your cheeks as your back arched, your moans turning into a cry. You came again, your body spasming as you throbbed around him, the warmth seeping into you until you were boneless.

Eddie cried out, closing his eyes as his thrusts stuttered, your orgasm coaxing his. He pulled out, stroking himself before he spilled over your thighs, shuddering breaths escaping him as his chest heaved.

Hours later, the light of the setting sun streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow over both of you. You had laid down, facing each other afterwards, caressing each other until the shuddering died down and since then, you were unable to move, unable to look away from each other.

A stray tear escaped your eye, falling down the bridge of your nose. Eddie gently brushed the wetness away, pushing up to place a lingering kiss on your forehead.

The tears began to flow as it sunk in.

It was over.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #stranger things fanfic #my writing

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whimsicalworldofme · 2 years

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Saving Grace: Chapter Twenty

Grace is in D.C. to speak at a college lecture series and reconnects with some old friends. But the weight of keeping her relationship with Steve secret is starting to wear on her.

“Do you think you’ll be free for dinner tonight?”

Grace asked Steve as they both busied themselves packing up stuff in bags for their individual tasks for the day. She had been invited to speak at a symposium at Georgetown University and planned to be there all day listening to lectures on innovation in assistive technology and related medical practices, so she had her iPad, her notes for her speech, and a few other odds and ends. Steve on the other hand had put his boots and new Captain America suit into a duffel bag to take in to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. He always kept the suit and his shield at home, carrying them in a bag to change at HQ before a mission, then changing back into street clothes before coming home.

Grace eyed the new suit, which she had never actually seen him in. She’d seen him in his red, white and blue number twice, once the time Nat brought him home after he’d gotten hit by that car on a mission and the other time only briefly when he had come to retrieve her after the Battle of New York. This new suit was so dark blue it was nearly black and had a silver star and accents. He called it his stealth suit. Despite the fact that she asked sweetly, batted her eyelashes, and promised him very tantalizing rewards in exchange, he refused to put it on for her.

Catching her as she eyed the suit in his bag, he let out a chuckle, zipping it shut and effectively removing it from sight.

“Don’t go getting ideas,” he chided jokingly.

“How come I, your girlfriend, am the only one in the world who doesn’t get to see you as Captain America?” She pouted and he let out a little laugh. Stepping closer to her, he laid his hands on her hips, tugging her into him before leaning down to give her a gentle kiss.

“Because you are the only one who sees me, sees Steve, when you look at me,” he said, “not Captain America. You’re the only person alive whose view of me wouldn’t change if I was still the scrawny punk from Brooklyn. It’s the closest I get to normal life. I don’t want to taint that by bringing Captain America into the mix.”

“Urgh,” Grace groaned, frustrated. “I can’t argue with that,” she knew his reasoning was extremely valid. “I really want to, but that’s really sweet and very true,” she frowned, making him laugh and kiss her again. “I absolutely would have loved you just as much before the serum, y’know, if we’d both been around then. Because you are exactly the same person, just, taller and muscley-er,” she poked him lightly in the abs, making him laugh again. “You haven’t answered my question about dinner though.”

“I’m not sure when I’ll be home,” he admitted, grimacing slightly. “So, I probably shouldn’t make any plans.”

“It’s ok,” she reassured him, going back to getting her stuff together. “I got an invite to dinner at a former classmate’s house, after the symposium, so I will go to that instead. She lives not far from here actually.”

“Former classmates?” He raised a brow, curious. “You never talk about former classmates.”

“I know,” Grace shrugged. “They kind of treated me like a class pet or baby sister, since I was so much younger. We were in a study group together, six of us. Now that we’re adults, some of them have reached out online and I’m kind of looking forward to getting to hang out with them on new terms.”

“Sounds like it’ll be fun,” Steve went into the kitchen and grabbed the travel mug of coffee he’d made for her and brought it over, pressing it into her hands. “I’m sorry I can’t take you out for dinner though.”

“There will be other opportunities,” she smiled. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

She gave him one last kiss and headed out of the apartment to the metro station. Her speech turned out to have a standing-room only crowd. Word had gotten out that Iron Man’s daughter was going to talk about assistive tech and apparently a lot of people were interested in hearing what she had to say. She had a feeling more than a few had no idea about her or her work, but were curious to see if she was anything like Tony. Her presentation went well though the Q&A afterwards took a few turns when people wanted to know what it was like being Iron Man’s kid, living with him, and things about the Avengers. She had gotten some great coaching from Pepper beforehand on how to redirect those sorts of questions and managed it brilliantly. The rest of the day she attended other presentations, lectures, and chatting with other professionals in the medical field.

“Half pint? Is that you?”

The familiar nickname from a familiar voice, one that she hadn’t heard in nearly ten years, caught her attention while she was in line for another drink at a campus coffee shop. It was the end of the day and she was tired, but she wanted some caffeine in the hopes that she could stay up late, just in case Steve didn’t get home at a decent hour. Turning around, she saw her med school crush, Harry Harper, dressed in a pastel pink button-down shirt, tucked into nicely fitted khakis. He had on a nametag, just like her, that read Dr. Henry Harper. In school he had been twenty-two when she was sixteen, so obviously, her love had gone unrequited, but he’d been head of her study group and they’d gotten to know each other pretty well.

“Harry,” she grinned. He looked a lot like she remembered, short black hair, but now he had a beard and mustache, bright brown eyes behind black framed glasses. “I was wondering if I’d see you around.”

“It’s so good to see you,” he went for a hug and she allowed it, hugging him back. When they parted, he pushed his glasses up his nose. “I hoped I’d catch you around somewhere. I saw your speech, great stuff. The implications, I mean, you’re laying the foundation to change mobility aids as we know them. Of course, we all knew the wonder kid would go on to do great things.” He smiled brightly. “It was only a matter of time before you were putting us all to shame.”

“Hey, your work with prosthetics is nothing to shake a stick at,” Grace countered. “Are you heading to the study group reunion at Marcie’s place?” He nodded. “I’m heading that way too, but I needed some fuel first. Can you believe she went into teaching? And landed a gig here at Georgetown?”

“I always had a feeling she would wind up teaching,” he confessed. “Remember her running us ragged with test prep?” They shared a laugh at the memories. “Georgetown is a surprise though. She always talked about wanting to go back home to Minnesota.”

“Yeah,” Grace said. “I guess life has had some unexpected turns for all of us.”

She noted the line had moved up and she stepped up to the counter. Little goosebumps stood up on her arms when Harry joined her, standing unnervingly close and she felt his eyes on her, taking her in the way she had dreamt he might someday, back when she was younger. “Can I get an iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots, please?” She asked the barista, pushing thoughts of her childhood crush from her mind.

“I’ll have a small black coffee,” Harry added, pulling out his wallet before Grace could get hers and handing the barista his credit card. “She’s with me,” he tipped his head towards her and the barista nodded, ringing them both up together.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she only slightly protested. “But thank you.”

“Still trying to test the limits of caffeine consumption, I see,” he grinned and Grace smirked. Harry always used to joke that she ran on nothing but caffeine and spite for those who discredited her due to her age. With their orders placed, they moved over along the counter to wait on their drinks. “I, uh, saw in a news article a while back that you finally connected with your birth father. That must be pretty great, huh?”

Grace blushed slightly, remembering having to explain that she was adopted when her parents had come to visit her at med school for parents weekend. For one thing, she didn't look much like either of them, close but enough to notice there was something different, and they were closer to the age her grandparents would've been. Her friends hadn't meant to strike a touchy subject, but they'd been curious, so she had told them vague generalities about being adopted. Though she had known her whole life that Tony was her dad, she couldn’t tell anyone. If the wrong person found out, she could end up in danger, but even if she didn’t end up in danger, people would laugh at her. She had, at one point, opened up to Harry that she knew her biological dad was a renowned inventor but had left it at that.

“That one article was absolutely necessary,” she told him. “Dad’s PR team kept pulling stories with photos claiming I was the new girlfriend he’d ditched Pepper for. They never made it to print, but I can’t tell you how unnerving it is to see magazines trying to publish a story speculating my dad is my boyfriend,” she shuddered and Harry laughed.

The barista brought their orders to the counter and he plucked up both before passing hers over.

“Well, I look forward to catching up with you,” he grinned and Grace felt another little jolt when her hand brushed against his in taking her drink. She noted a hunger in his eyes that she recognized all too well. A couple of years ago, she might have killed for him to look at her that way. “You want to split a cab to Marcie’s?” He asked.

“How about the metro?” Grace suggested, not sure she was comfortable with the idea of being alone in the back of a car with him looking at her like that. “I’m here a lot for work, so I know exactly how to get there from here. And it’s cheaper.”

“Still frugal, despite being a billionaire’s daughter,” Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “But sure, metro it is.”

“My dad’s the billionaire, not me,” she laughed. “So, tell me about your practice,” she hoped to get the topic of conversation off of her personal life. “Pediatric prosthetics, that’s got to be equal parts challenging and rewarding.”

They walked to the nearest metro station and passed the train ride discussing the different paths they’d taken in their careers after med school, noting similarities. They had always shared similar interests in school, though Harry had always leaned towards working with kids while Grace had always been pulled towards working with veterans and disabled adults.

“Grace, Harry, you made it!” Marcie greeted them at the door, casting a questioning little glance between them when they had shown up together. “Come on in,” she waved them inside.

She had a row house just a few streets down from Steve’s place, but unlike the little apartment, this house was luxuriously large, by big city standards. Marcie led them into the dining room where the three other members of their study group were already seated around the table, drinking wine, chatting and laughing. Everyone but Grace and Harry had a romantic partner sitting next to them. There were cheerful, delighted squeals of hello and hugs given all around. There was Jennifer and her husband Mark, Nicole and her wife Amy, Chris and his husband Anthony, and Marcie introduced her husband, Adam. Wine was poured, everyone squished around the table, and Adam, a professional chef at a highly rated restaurant in the city, brought in the most decadent meal consisting of a rack of lamb and a multitude of sides. It didn’t take long for everything to feel just like it had back in med school, though now, since Grace was an adult too, she could participate fully in all aspects of conversation. And drink. Hours passed and a chocolate souffle came out of the kitchen, paired with white chocolate ice cream. The conversation kept going strong.

“Adam, that was honestly the best meal I’ve ever had,” Grace complimented him as she polished off the last of her souffle and licked the spoon clean. “I’m going to have to make a reservation at your restaurant as soon as possible.”

“Good luck getting anything sooner than six months from now,” Marcie bragged, beaming as she rubbed her husband’s back. “Everyone in the city wants a reservation.”

“I could get you into the chef’s table any time,” Adam offered. “Especially if you wanted to bring your dad with you.”

Bold, Grace couldn’t help but chuckle as she took a sip of wine, watching Marcie swat her husband’s shoulder.

“That is rude, Adam,” she chided.

“Do you know the kind of publicity we could get if Tony Stark was seen eating there?” He asked with absolutely no remorse.

“I’m so sorry about him,” Marcie sighed.

“I’m used to it by now,” Grace snickered. “My dad is pretty chill about those sorts of things. As long as you give him really good food, which, if tonight’s dinner is any indication, you absolutely will, he’ll sing your praises to anyone who will listen.”

Truthfully, the reservation she had wanted to make would have been for her and Steve, but she couldn’t say that. She could’ve said it was for her and her boyfriend, but that would have only raised questions she wasn’t ready to answer. The burden of keeping her relationship a secret was really starting to wear on her. Steve had agreed that they should be open about it soon, but the absolute first person they had to tell was Tony and they agreed to do it together in the next week or two. It was all planned out. Steve would come to New York and they’d come clean together.

“It must be amazing,” Jennifer leaned against the table, pulling Grace out of her thoughts, “finding out you’re Tony Stark’s daughter. I mean, we all knew all along that you were brilliant of course, so it makes sense. But who’d have thought?”

“Yeah,” Grace smiled brightly. She didn’t mind talking about her dad, though she had to be cautious about the things she said to anyone, given that anything said could manage to trickle its way to a press outlet at any time. “It’s been a wild ride, meeting and then moving in with him and Pepper. It’s nice, getting to know him. We get to hang out and we build stuff together, just kind of goof off,” she laughed, thinking of her father’s antics. “I couldn’t have hoped for a better dad.”

“Have you gotten to fly around in one of his Iron Man suits?” Anthony asked excitedly.

“A few times,” she nodded. “It is not as easy as he makes it look. It takes a lot of core muscles and balance. If you aren’t in the absolute best shape, you hurt for days in muscles you didn’t know existed.”

“So do you hang out with the Avengers?” Nicole asked. Glancing briefly at her wife, she leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, “And can you give me Captain America’s number? He’s my hall pass.”

“Really? Right in front of me?” Amy asked incredulously.

“Look, when you have a chance to shoot your shot, you have to go for it, babe,” Nicole shrugged.

“I’m afraid your shot would be wasted,” Grace laughed. “I have it on good authority that he’s not looking for booty calls or relationships right now.”

“What about Thor?” Nicole didn’t even hesitate to make her way down her list.

“Doesn’t have a phone,” Grace shook her head. “Plus, I think he has a girlfriend. I could introduce you to Bruce maybe, if he was interested, but he’s pretty shy.”

“All right, before this gets entirely out of hand, I think it’s time to go,” Amy sighed and pushed herself up from the table. “Marcie, Adam, it’s been lovely. Hopefully we can do this again soon.”

The party began to break up, with everyone saying their goodbyes, calling taxis or rideshare cars, or drifting towards the nearest metro station. Grace had made a point to ensure she was sober enough to walk back to Steve’s place and remain alert, not wanting to wait on a car. There were hugs all around and Harry trailed after her as she left.

“Hey, where are you staying?” He asked. “Let me make sure you get there safe,” he insisted. “Can’t have my half pint wandering through a big city at night all alone.”

“Your half pint, huh?” She raised a brow. “Where was that possessiveness in med school?”

“It was there,” he caught up to her and matched her pace. “In an appropriate big brother sort of way, mostly making sure creeps stayed away from you, cause you were just a kid. You’re not sixteen anymore though and honestly, Grace, I gotta say it, and maybe I’ll regret it, but I couldn’t take my eyes off you the minute I saw you walk on that stage this morning.”

“Oh, I wish you'd said that to me about three years ago,” Grace confessed with a half-smile, her heart doing a weird flip-flop acrobatic act, half ecstatic, half sad. “I had the biggest crush on you all through med school. Like the doodle your name in the margins of my notes, kind of crush,” she felt her face turn red in admitting it, but he beamed. “I might have melted right on sight, but I am heading back to my boyfriend’s place,” she told him and watched his face fall.

“Ah, I guess I shouldn’t have waited so long, huh?” Harry sighed and shrugged. Grace held such a deep affection for him still, she felt a pang in her chest seeing him disappointed. “Can I still walk you back to your boyfriend’s place, make sure you get there safe?”

“Of course,” she nodded. “I'd be glad for the company. It’s just a few blocks this way.” She nodded her head to the side to indicate the direction.

“So how come your boyfriend wasn’t at dinner tonight?” He asked. “I mean, I’m glad he wasn’t, since then I would’ve been the odd man out, but everyone else brought their partners.”

“He had work,” she said. “And our relationship isn’t public yet.”

“Well, that’s dumb,” Harry scoffed. “You are the kind of woman men should be bragging about. If you were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t be able to shut up about it," he stated firmly. "I'd be shouting your praises from the rooftops."

“You always were the bold, straightforward type," Grace laughed. “I’m not upset about my relationship being secret. I actually am the one who suggested it. There are just unique circumstances at play.” She paused and turned to face him. “I have no doubt you’ll find that person you can shout about from the rooftops sooner rather than later, Harry. If I wasn't already happily attached, I would be honored to be that woman. She's out there, somewhere.”

“Maybe,” he conceded and they kept walking. “It’s tough, you know, in our line of work. Not a lot of free time and all of our interests tend to be related to work.”

“Maybe you’ll meet another doctor,” she suggested as she came to a stop in front of Steve’s apartment door, fishing her keys out of her bag. “This is me.” She nodded at the door. “Thanks for making sure I got here safe.”

“Of course,” Harry smiled. He hesitated, clearly wanting to give her another hug, but after being rejected he had lost his confidence. Grace decided to take the discomfort out of the situation by hugging him and felt him almost melt into her, relieved that their confessions hadn’t changed their relationship. “Promise we’ll keep in touch? That way we’re not going nearly a decade without talking again.”

“I’ll find you on online,” she agreed. “It was great catching up.”

“Sounds good,” he nodded. “All right half pint,” he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before letting go of her and taking a step back. “Better get in to your boyfriend. Just point me in the direction of the metro station.”

She gave him directions and watched him go, thoughts of what might have been lingering in her mind.

I could’ve had a good life with Harry. An ordinary life, without having to keep secrets, without the worry of shady government cabals, she cast a glance up at the apartment windows, still dark, indicating Steve hadn’t come home yet. But I wouldn’t have Steve. And I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Chapter Nineteen

Masterlist

Chapter Twenty-One

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dynamoe · 2 years

Note

how do Pete and Billy feel about the short but memorable 90s swing/ska revivals, if anything at all?

Whoa whoa whoa! Don’t conflate two terrible movements there, pally!

SHORT ANSWER: Billy loves all of it and Pete turns up his nose, saying it was all done better in the ‘80s. (This is the copy-paste answer for their opinions on a lot of things, actually.)

↓ more details below the fold. Pick it up. Pick it up. ↓

Thank you for your question, yet another faceless individual. Ask your own dynamoe.tumblr.com/ask

Pete, as a professional radio DJ, stays aware of what the indie labels are putting out but thinks the new stuff has no merit. He didn’t even like 2-Tone that much in ‘82 but he can recognize a copy-of-a-copy.

↑ 1998 Billy got those ska shoes... Doc Marten 3989 Brogue (work in progress)

Billy may have the Billboard Top-50 memorized for every year going back to 1960 (essential trivia stuff) and can go head-to-head with Pete on arguing particularities, he’s not a music snob. There’s loud brass. The music is fast. You get to dress up in a suit or suspenders (call ‘em “braces” though) and people dance skank rather than stand around nodding, looking too cool to enjoy themselves. Going to a ska show is FUN.

Ditto for Neo-Swing for the half-second it was popular. Billy likes to dance (and is surprisingly good at it since his mother made him attend dance lessons from age 5 on). He took a swing dancing class at Parks and Rec but for height reasons had to be in the kids’ class (S04 E15). He offers to take White dancing since he didn’t get to play a film noir archetype in Hank’s detective fantasy despite dressing up as a newsboy. (Doc’s Commentary on S04E12). It’s probably the worst kind of dancing for him to attempt — the leaps, holds, drops, dips or even simple spins would be impossible unless his partner was his size and few parents would be cool with an adult man (aged 22-ish at the height of the Swing Revival) throwing their kindergartner around.

First some history…indulge me...

First Wave Ska is centered on Jamaica in the ‘60s and is all black. This is more mellow proto-reggae stuff— originally a mix of American R&B/early rock-and-roll with a Caribbean beat. Prince Buster. Desmond Dekker. Jimmy Cliff. (check out 1964 concert film/documentary “This is Ska” )

Second Wave Ska (also called 2-Tone) was based in Britain in the late ‘70s-80s and was notable for bands made up of native Britons and immigrant/2nd generation Jamaican-British musicians— a mix of black and white so “2-tone,” dig? The message was anti-racist at a time when racist skinheads/hooligans were rising. It’s faster and more rock-like. Aside from the ska bands themselves— The Specials, Madness, The (English) Beat, Bad Manners (their singer Buster Bloodvessel looked like Tor Johnson and had a huge tongue), The Selecters (another rare girl singer) — that ska-style off-beat (ka-chink ka-chink) and skank guitar line (“up-stroke”) is all over British rock from that era— Elvis Costello to the Police to The Clash. (I’m not giving you links for those) If you like ska, this is what you like.

1990s Ska is Third Wave Ska (aka Ska-Punk), centered in the US (Boston and Orange County, CA seem to be hot spots) and was white white white. Jettisoning the taint of politics and the whole ‘racial harmony’ aspect of ska in favor of either aggro frat boy yelling (The Mighty Mighty Bosstones*, Op-Ivy/Rancid) or goofiness that would make even Suggs say “Show some dignity, man” (The Aquabats). Ska-punk was over by decade’s end, currently being revived on the nostalgic cycle for the Class of ‘00 turning 40 this year.

Third Wave Ska did establish the “band name must include a pun on ska in the title” rule (Mephiskapheles, Bim Skala Bim) and locked in the guys in matching suits motif. If you’re making fun of ska, this is what you’re making fun of.

Famous bands of the movement... um…. No Doubt, I guess? They were ska-ish. Had a girl singer, which was super rare in all of ska. It’s a bro-y genre. Other bands? (I’m going from memory so I’m going to go with the ones with the funniest names first.) Voodoo Glow Skulls, Mustard Plug, Five Iron Frenzy, Less than Jake, Reel Big Fish, Sublime (their biggest hit was about Date Rape/Prison Rape. Bro-y.) … maybe Smashmouth (but that's 2000, too late). For some reason there’s a lot of Christian Third Wave Ska AND a lot of white nationalist Third Wave Ska (I won’t speak to how much of an overlap there is).

Really, 3rd Wave was mostly about local bands (Isaac Greene and the Skalars, ‘Ska King Crab) of high school/college kids with their horns left over from the school marching band playing in a VFW hall for their friends.It’s not meant to be good, it’s meant to be fun. After a couple years, the few bands with chops evolved into Northern/Blue-Eyed Soul bands or… swing orchestras? (Wait for it)

look at these fuckin' GAP chodes.

Now, the “swing revival” was an LA-based sub-cultural blip gone nationwide between a two minute scene in the 1996 movie Swingers (never forgive Jon Favreau for this no matter how much you like the Mandalorian) and a 1998 TV commercial for GAP with people dancing to Louis Prima while dressed like Best Buy employees in a cult (missing the whole appeal of dressing up to go dancing). At most, a two year vogue and no one can really explain why.

Breakout bands. None, really. The Brian Setzer Orchestra, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies (bro-y) had a Zoot Suit Riot but immediately disappeared.

Rockabilly/Psychobilly was already its own unconnected retro subculture. There have always been “retro bands” doing their own thing— Oingo Boingo’s first incarnation as a Cab Calloway-covering big band The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo to Squirrel Nut Zippers or Combustible Edison** — but they’re not really a movement.

Did Swing Revival grow out of 3rd Wave Ska when the horn section realized there was more to life than playing three notes in a row? Was it Space Age Bachelor Pad Music*** collectors wanting to get off the mid century modern couch and shake a leg? Was it super fans of Swing Kids and The Mask grown up and drunk in public for the first time?

Swing Dancing, even at its most popular, is very dorky. People who do it don’t care so mainly dorks do it. Billy does swing dancing. So...

How can they afford so many outfits?

What About Pete's Childhood?

Does Billy like Beat Happening?

Or ask your own questions here

→ All 2022 Billy Quizboy & Mr. White posts

___

*full disclosure: this author wore a Mighty Mighty Bosstones t-shirt (bulldog logo) in high school after buying it as a souvenir while looking at colleges in Boston. The band finally broke up this year over internal conflict with lead singer Dickie becoming an anti-vaxxer, wrecking their touring options.

** Combustible Edison’s biggest under-aged fan circa 1995, right here. (points two thumbs at self, note hands have been X’d to prevent buying beer at 9:30 Club)

***I was one of these but I stayed on the couch.

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iamthenightcolormeblack · 3 years

Text

Thornfield Hall in Jane Eyre (hyper-simplified)

Random thoughts here on this symbol (also could serve as essay help). Feel free to correct me if anything's wrong, maybe add on stuff in fancier language because I'm too tired to do a detailed literary analysis here.

1. Thornfield as a Gothic literary element:

It's a spooky house that looks medieval and is mysterious! Therefore it's definitely gothic!

The significance of houses in Gothic literature: "the past never really goes away;" after all the history of the houses (hundreds of years old) makes them links to the past. The persistence of the houses over many generations is a reminder of the insignificance of human endeavors in the face of time/nature/the universe.

When the houses fall apart & deteriorate it's a representation of the consequences of sin (moral decay). Thornfield getting burned can be seen as punishment for Rochester's sin of locking up his wife and also for his everyday action of lying and deceiving people so he can run away from his dirty secrets.

Houses are representations of the soul; the outside is like the facade one puts on in polite society, while the inside contains the true person (the secrets!) that is hidden from society.

2. Thornfield as a representation of Rochester's character:

The source of Rochester's power and wealth (Rochester owns the house and all the money earned from the estate comes to him and he's an eligible bachelor because he's rich).

Forbidding on the outside but pretty cozy inside (unless you are the madwoman imprisoned in the attic). Mirrors how Rochester is mean but has a heart.

"'I like Thornfield, its antiquity, its retirement, its old crow-trees and thorn-trees, its grey facade, and lines of dark windows...how long have I abhorred the very thought of it, shunned it like a great plague-house?'"

Rochester has a love-hate relationship with the house: he gains comfort from its long history (which is a source of pride as it ensures his position as a gentleman with a treasured family home to maintain) but also hates it because it keeps all his secrets (the madwoman in the attic who "haunts" the house; her escapes and "hauntings" challenge his power over his surroundings).

3. Thornfield as a representation of British society:

Again, the house is the source of Rochester's power and wealth. Thus there's a hierarchy in the house to preserve his power:

The hierarchy (from top to bottom): Rochester, the housekeeper, the servants, and Jane, who exists in between the hierarchy (doesn't have a definite "place" because she's got the education of an aristocrat but is pretty much an employee who depends on Rochester paying her and of course Rochester can fire her easily).

Mrs. Fairfax the housekeeper enforces the social hierarchy when showing concern/disapproving of Rochester flirting with Jane (because masters usually use the governesses for sexual gratification; they don't defy social norms by marrying the governess). But of course we love that she shows some genuine concern for Jane when telling her to be careful because men can be abusive (unfortunately so true).

Every day she resides in the house Jane is reminded of her low social position as a servant to a master. After all, the room and board could be taken away from her at any time.

Bertha's imprisonment in the house is like the status of colonies in the British Empire: exploited for raw resources to enrich the mother country and then left to languish in poverty. After all, Rochester married Bertha for her wealth (to preserve Thornfield and keep the money in the family) and when she became insane he locked her up in his home. That's the marriage in highly simplified terms: from Rochester's side, he was deceived into marrying Bertha for her money and because he was sexually infatuated with her good looks he married her without question and regretted it because Bertha immediately cheated on him, emotionally abused everyone, and also had inherited mental illness from her mother. After trying to live with her for 5 years, he locked her in Thornfield because she was violent and would certainly have died in a mental asylum (because the mentally ill were treated very badly back then). One can argue it was necessary to lock Bertha up because she was violent and posed a threat to Rochester's life (and he thought he was nice to her because he didn't let her die even though he could have; how perverted are those morals) but all the same hiding her existence from the world (while having a human being locked up) is highly unethical.

But all the same, social boundaries are defied at Thornfield. Jane gets shocked when Rochester treats her as a friend from the beginning of their relationship by letting her speak to him (after she's been told all her life to remain silent by those in authority). Because this is Rochester's home he can break social norms (flirt with the governess) without facing the consequences.

4. Thornfield as a home:

"Wherever you are is my home--my only home."

Thornfield becomes home for Jane because she finds kindness there. Specifically, she finds a "family" there, since the people she serves under care for her (ex. she gets larger meals than the starvation diet she received at Lowood boarding school, Mrs. Fairfax gives Jane wise advice after Rochester's proposal). From the beginning, Rochester seems to treat Jane as his friend because he comes close to telling her his secrets and lets her talk to him. When she falls in love with Rochester she develops an attachment to Thornfield as part of her attachment to him.

"Heart-weary and soul-withered, you come home after years of voluntary banishment: you make a new acquaintance...you find in this stranger much of the good and bright qualities which you have sought for twenty years, and never before encountered; and they are all fresh, healthy, without soil and without taint. Such society revives, regenerates: you feel better days come back—higher wishes, purer feelings..."

Rochester has to return to Thornfield (home) to rest and recharge from the ravages of his hedonistic lifestyle. And when he discovers his One True Love there he definitely doesn't want to leave....

Home is a starting point for Rochester to redeem his morals. By returning to the place of his birth he wants to start a second life where he can forget about his degraded past and be revived (and saved) through the love of his "angel" Jane (who refuses to play that role). Kinda reminds me of Virginia Woolf's "Angel of the House" -- women as portrayed by men (they are morally pure, take care of the home and are passive beings whose main purpose is to raise good children and redeem the souls of men through their goodness).

5. Thornfield as a prison:

Remember how houses are links to the past? Rochester has to run away from Thornfield often because first he locked up his wife there and it reminds him of his selfish father and brother who deceived him into marrying Bertha! Plus the house is a reminder of his responsibility as a landowner to maintain it and he doesn't like responsibility (as shown by his hedonism).

Jane is trapped there because she can't leave without Rochester's permission (see the money scene where she literally has to ask him to leave to see her dying aunt and he demonstrates his power over her by showing her his cash while she reveals how little money she has). After all, her governess position as another form of servitude.

@appleinducedsleep @thatvermilionflycatcher

#jane eyre #mr rochester #edward x jane #edward rochester

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ssajemilyprentiss · 3 years

Text

She’s like the wind

Pairing: Emily Prentiss (as Lauren Reynolds) x Reader

Summary: You are Ian Doyle’s henchewoman/occasional lover. One day he introduces you to a new woman, Lauren - and everything changes.

Warnings: Angst/anger, hard feelings, arguing, mentions of guns, one curse word, mentions of alcohol, hints of/mentions of smut (nothing smutty tho), enemies to lovers Let me know if I forgot something

A/N: So while I’m writing chapter three of Tainted Love I thought I would put something out here for y’all. Do you want a part two with you know the ✨smut✨ lol? And fyi i don’t speak one word french, that’s why the french parts are written in English lmao. Also yes I got the title for this from the Patrick Swayze song

You are woken from your slumber by Ian talking to someone on the phone. Being quiet has never really been his best treat, and you realize you are once again in his bed after one too many drinks. You sit up and take in your surroundings, and you grasp that you aren’t in the villa in Italy anymore. Ian had taken you to Northern Ireland for some weapons deal – and he wanted you to be there. He finishes his call and walks into you in the bedroom, opening the blinds – the sun piercing through them causing you to squint your eyes briefly.

“Get ready, we’re leaving in twenty minutes” he tells you, his thick accent lacing his voice

“Where are we going?” you ask while stretching your arms

“We’re meeting our new weapons dealer; you know the one I met in Boston?” he replies

“Oh yeah, him.” you reply “That must have been successful since you are already meeting”

“Her” he says

“Huh?” you ask while getting up from bed, wrapping yourself in the duvet

“The weapons dealer is a her” he replies walking out from the room

‘Her?’ you think to yourself ‘this will only end one way’ you sigh and start getting dressed to leave.

Thirty minutes later you pull up on the middle of a far-off road, a truck blocking your way. You, Ian and Liam step out of one car and the others from the car in front of you. Infront of the truck you see a woman with curly light brown hair and bangs leaning towards it, she smiles when she sees Ian – making you gag internally.

You walk up to the truck, and she struts away from it.

“Open it” you hear Liam, the guys standing on each side of the truck lifts the covers and opens a big box, revealing a large weapon. You raise your eyebrows in shock, no one has been able to get this kind of weapon before – and not so fast either. Liam turns his head from the truck to Ian and then to the woman. You can see it in his eyes he doesn’t trust her either.

“Liam” Ian says “Is something bothering you?”

“Yes there is” he replies “None of our other suppliers can get stuff this good”

Ian doesn’t reply, only looks at him and then you – expecting you to say something.

“I agree with Liam on this one Ian” you say, looking at him “I’ve never seen anyone get something like this so quickly”

“She’s too good to be true, you’re just too blind to see it” Liam intervenes, annoyance lacing his voice

Ian turns around and looks at her

“Get in the car Lauren, the second one” Lauren, as her name apparently is nods and starts walking away

“I’ll take care of her; you get in the first car” Ian says to all of you and walks away

You huff as he walks away, you always sit in the second car with him. But now he has her, and you see in his eyes – he’s in love with her and has been for long. You have just been there as a distraction while she hasn’t been around. Well if you know Ian correctly, he will grow tired of her and find someone else.

Oh how wrong you were, turns out Ian really loves Lauren. He has even given her the gimmal ring he had saved for his “special one”. And truth be told you had tried to get to know Lauren, but she always turned you down – she probably knew about the “thing” (if you want to call it that) that you and Ian had, both before and during he the time he was with her. She kept giving you the cold shoulder, and she probably said something to Ian – because since she moved into his villa in Italy with you, you’ve been slowly going down in ranks. Five years of loyalty towards him down the toilet overnight, all because of her. So you did the same, barely acknowledged her when she was in the room. And every time she opened her mouth you felt in your stomach how much you despised her.

One day as you are walking into the villa after running one of Ian’s constant errands, you are met with the sound of Declan laughing together with Lauren. You walk into the living room where they are and see Ian walk in from the balcony. He smiles wide at Lauren and Declan, and he tells you

“Y/N take Declan to his mother” causing both him and Lauren to turn around and you see how her smile drops and she gives you the look she always does. You don’t answer him, just walk up to Declan, and hold out your hand and tell him

“Come on Declan, let’s go see where mommy is” he takes your hand without answering, and you walk out. As you walk out you hear Ian ask Lauren

“Ever think about that?”

And she answers “Having kids?”

You don’t hear anything else because they are too far away. Ian and Lauren, having kids? ‘Please no’ you think to yourself. You and Declan don’t get far though, because from out of nowhere he sprints back to where Ian and Lauren are.

“Declan!” you yell after him and start jogging after him, ‘Damn that kid is fast’ you think as you try to catch up with him, but he runs back to Lauren before you get the chance to. She kneels next to him and say something to Ian you can’t hear. And then she says:

“Go to your father” and Declan does. He and Ian walk out to the balcony again and Lauren stands up. She turns around and looks at you stand there like an idiot. You look at her for a while and take in her appearance for the first time, and you would be lying if you didn’t admit that she was sexy as hell. You look at each other for what feels like an eternity until she breaks the silence between you for the first time by asking you:

“What are you looking at? Get back to work” annoyance lacing her tone

You raise an eyebrow at her, speechless – you say nothing and walk out from the living room.

A couple of days later Ian and the guys are due to leave for a business trip, and you get left behind. Ian assigns you to stay behind and look after Lauren, and when he tells you that you want to protest but he walks away before you get the chance. ‘Great’ you think ‘They get to go on a mission, and I get to stay here babysitting Ian’s girlfriend’ As you walk out to find Ian to ask him to reconsider you overhear him and Lauren, and she seems just as upset as you

“Why are you leaving me with her?” she whines in French

“Because someone has to stay with you and she’s the only one available” he replies in French and leaves

Is Ian for real? Has he really forgotten that you are fluent in French too? And this is what finally sets you off, “the only one available” and that the fact that he doesn’t remember basic facts about someone who has been by his side for five years. You feel how you are fuming on the inside and walk past them into your room, and slam the door and don’t leave until your hear Ian and the guys calling out they are leaving.

When they have left, you are sitting on the balcony with a finished glass of wine in your hand, taking in the view and listening to the sounds of the Italian late summer. You get up and walk into the kitchen to refill your glass, and as you take out the bottle from the fridge Lauren walks in. She huffs when she sees you, grabs her glass and fills it up and is about to walk out as fast as she entered until you speak up:

“Lauren, do you think I’m stupid?” making her stop in her tracks

She turns around and frowns “Why are you asking me this?”

“Why are you leaving me with her?” you mock in French, and her face drops.

“He didn’t tell you I’m fluent in French, did he?” you ask mockingly, take a sip and put down the glass on the counter.

She swallows visibly and mumbles “No he didn’t”

“Trust me I tried to protest against me being here with you, but you see Ian is too busy to even speak to me anymore. How come?” you ask rhetorically

She doesn’t answer, so you continue – walking closer to her as you speak

“I tried being nice to you when you came here, even though I didn’t trust you – and I still don’t. But you kept giving me the cold shoulder, and I bet you told Ian something to make him turn against me over night.”

You stop, your face close to hers. You just stand there, waiting for her to say something – and you look in her deep brown eyes, feeling as if you’re drowning in them. Just as she opens her mouth, and you expect her to say something – her lips crash against yours

Taglist: @taralewiz

#Criminal Minds #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader

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tiptapricot · 3 years

Text

A long overdo hc post for Star! (These ended up kind of sad since I set them all pre movie, but I might do more later)

Shes a trans woman and chose the name Star for a few reasons

The first was that she drew inspiration from S.T.A.R., the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, a queer activist organization founded by Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson in 1970 (idea cred to Star from the BnT discord!). Even though it was dissolved when she was a kid, it was still a huge inspiration to her, and the name carrying such a deep connection to the history of her identity felt powerful

The second was that for a lot of her childhood, she wished on the stars outside her bedroom window. Wished for an escape from her parents, wished to feel safe, wished to be able to be herself, etc. They were comforting to her, a sense of hope when things got dark. Stars were meaningful to her, and they became her

She ran away moved to Santa Carla to get away from her parents when she was 19, and became friends with the boys after running into them on the boardwalk

She was new, both to the area and to being able to be herself in public, and they were her first contact, her first experience, with a group of queer people she could connect with

And it was freeing, and joyful, and wonderful

She has genuinely good relationships with the boys until being turned ends up not being as glamorous as they described, and until they reveal (in a very bloody way) that they’re the ones behind the wave of local disappearances

It feels like betrayal

She doesn’t see them as monsters, she couldn’t after knowing them the way she did, but her view of them is shattered all the same, tainted, and that hurts

What almost hurts more is that they don’t seem to get why

She tries talking to them about it, reasoning that they probably don’t have to kill to feed, that they can just drain small amounts from people instead of killing them, but the boys have been so conditioned to only see things one way that they brush her off

Paul she still stays somewhat close to, since he works the hardest to make her feel comfortable even after things go south, but her and David specifically have a huge nosedive in their relationship. They argue the most and go from being very close friends to having something more bitter and sad instead

From some of their arguments Star gets the feeling that she doesn’t have the full story, that there’s more to this than David’s telling her, but he never reveals enough for her to piece things together enough to help

She misses being able to be around people more often. Before she was turned she wanted to start helping people in the community, especially Santa Carla’s large homeless kid population, but after being turned, the bloodlust became too strong for her to trust herself around large groups, at least for extended periods of time

For that reason she usually only goes out really late at night, when the beach is mostly empty and she can walk by herself and get some alone time

A few times every week she goes to the boardwalk, but it’s never for more than an hour or so, just enough to check out some of the shops or catch a snippet of a concert, or to take Laddie on a few of the rides

The rest of the time she isolates herself in the cave, using shells, pieces of sea glass, and other things from her beach walks to make decorations

It helps pass the time, helps keep her hands and mind busy, and makes the cave feel more like a home

She’s friends with Maria, since the boys used to take her to hang out around the video store before they were banned (for knocking over a display, David told her, but she’s not sure if that’s the full story), and she goes over to her place to take showers every few days

Maria doesn’t know anything about vampires, but Star finds comfort in their friendship anyway, even if she can’t talk about everything

Star wears a lot of essential oils, rubs them on her wrists, and she has a collection of small half used bottles under her bed

Her favorite scents are lavender, rose, and amber. Nothing too harsh like most perfumes, just gentle aromatic stuff

She sings, and she has a really nice voice, smooth and soft and perfect for lullabies and slow songs, but she only sings to herself and Laddie nowadays

She doesn’t want to be a vampire, she doesn’t want to kill, but she doesn’t know how to free herself and she doesn’t feel like she can just run away again because she has a kid to watch over and nowhere else to go

She walks barefoot everywhere because she likes feeling the ground

Her hands are actually pretty rough and calloused, from working with tougher materials like driftwood and rocks, and because her skin dries out pretty easily in the heat

She likes movies and will go to the theater when she can

She’s not a big fan of swimming but likes putting her feet in the surf and will take baths at Maria’s if she has the time

Sometimes when the boys are out with Laddie she’ll go lay on the bluffs, looking up at the stars and wondering how she ended up wishing on them all over again

Headcanons masterpost

#Star is one of my favorite characters to explore and build on #she has so much potential n is such an interesting character #tlb #the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #star the lost boys #the lost boys star #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is headcanoning again

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crystal-moon-101 · 3 years

Note

I wanna hear your take on Benlie and/or Benkai. You don’t have to ship them, just say a few things you could have done to make them smoother and healthier, friendship or romance. You could even have both if you have an idea on a better, cleaner break up story.

Ok, so I’m a Benlie person, 100%, and while I don’t ship Ben and Kai, I definitely think they deserved to be handled better. So I have rewritten how those relationships, along with a few others of Ben’s love life, have gone, and I’ll share it here. Warning, this does get a bit long, and does have some violence at a certain point, but I hope you enjoy my take on it!

So the start of Ben and Julie’s relationship in Alien Force is mostly the same, though I did adjust it that they somewhat knew each other before hand, having seen each other in school, especially since Ben’s soccer practice took place at the same time and same kind of area as the girl’s tennis practice. Ben asks her out, Ship appears and becomes her pet, Julie starts understanding the alien better, sees Ben have 14 moth children, the basic stuff from canon. However, my major changes start during season 3 of Alien Force, the part of the series that took quite the nose dive in terms of character arcs. I still have it that Ben and Julie start to have issues and argue, but in believable ways, and they still clearly love each other. The issues arise when Ben does start to get cocky a little, due to all the praise he’s getting from saving the galaxy from the High-Breed, and his accomplishment surrounding that are huge, since he hasn’t won something like that before. Again, doesn’t help that half the galaxy keeps praising him and treating him like a God, but Ben does still be a hero, and even starts to get anxieties since now he’s starting to deal with bigger issues, more people demanding for him to help their planets around the galaxy, and Ben wants to be that hero for them...but there is only so much he can do. He does love the admiration from everyone, feeling special and all that, but he does start to make him feel different, in and odd way...He’s struggle to connect with his human grounds now, due to constantly turning into aliens and spending time out in space, his relationship with earth just isn’t the same anymore. And even them, aliens around him treat him as something else too, like he’s not human or an alien, he’s something else, and not knowing what makes him nervous. To mask all of these fears, he uses his over-confident nature like a mask, and it does get pretty bad for a month or two until Gwen, Julie and Kevin make him see reason. Meanwhile, Julie is struggling in her own right after the High-Breed war. She was happy to have fought in it to protect her home and people, but after seeing a proper glimpse of the alien worlds outside of earth...she will admit that scares her. She didn’t go off world like when Kevin, Gwen and Ben did, mostly waiting for them on earth and did missions there with them, even lending them Ship when they needed it. While she didn’t judge Ben and was willing to live with idea of aliens after their first date, like adopting Ship, she still have a lot to process about there being alien life. It’s much harder on her than it was for Ben, because he learnt about it when he was young, his entire family knew about it and could support him through it, and even the Omnitrix provided better understandings for him. Julie...she didn’t have any of that. It was just her dad, Ship and her, and while Ship was a good start, he was still just one tiny piece of the outside world around her. She knew she’d have to accept it over time, now that she knew the truth, and especially when earth starts learning that truth too, but at times it felt like she wasn’t allowed to process. She doesn’t blame Ben for it, as he’s so use to it all by now, but there have been many moments where he seems to forget she is very early to this whole alien concept compared to him. She was afraid she couldn’t catch up, and even has moments where she didn’t want to take a step forward, afraid of what she might find. So she started joining less and less missions with Ben, Gwen and Kevin, and while she still hanged out with them, she tried not to get involved with their alien business. She will admit, maybe a part of her wished she didn’t know about alien life at times, to have a life back when things seemed more simple.

So these deep feelings from both Ben and Julie spark arguments, because both are unsure with themselves, thus unsure in relationships with others, especially each other, with Julie thinking she couldn’t keep up with Ben, and Ben thinking he couldn’t slow down for her. And it all eventually led to a point where things had to stop... And unlike Omniverse’s god awful handle of the break up, I instead had it like this. Julie is the one who starts the conversation, having called Ben over to her. She’s honest with him, saying that it’s just not working out, and that they should find different people that work for them. Ben does beg a little at first, saying he’ll try better, but Julie knows that right now they can’t be a happy couple and need space, and Ben eventually agrees, but it still hurts. It hurts more when Gwen and Kevin leave too, and Julie also goes on a tennis tournament in France, so Ben has to deal with the loneliness he feels for a while, even when Rook joins his side. Meanwhile, Julie meets Herve in France, who was taking photographs for sport magazines. The two talk and eventually hit it off, Julie somewhat clinging a little as Herve is very much the down to earth and normal human guy she thought she wanted, someone who wasn’t related to any alien business. She does miss Ben, a part of her not letting go, and while the two agreed to remain friends, they did drift a little over time. They would still voice chat, send some text and Ben would check up on her tournaments when he could, but both of their lives got rather busy and they drifted away for a couple of months, though still dearly missing each other. Ben takes his time to heal, still dealing with all the other problems he’s facing, especially the whole “Am I human, am I alien, am I something else?” and “How much of a hero am I without the watch?”. His friendship with Rook grows pretty well, and he settles somethings with Gwen and Kevin since they moved to university. So most relationships of his are going well, expect for romantic relationships... He struggles to settle and commit to most of them, and mostly dates around for a bit, spending some time with people like Looma, Rook Shar, even Attea on one date. He does eventually settle with Ester for a bit, and the two seem like a good match. Both fun loving, eager for adventure, and enjoy each other’s company. And Ben did try and make it work, he really did, Ester was a great girl and he wanted the best for her but...again, it was hard for them to keep up with each other. Ester is a girl full of energy, and very much wants to do something 24/7, and while she doesn’t fault Ben, she will admit she does get lonely when he spends so much time off on missions she can’t join in, and the two break it off when Ben couldn’t be what she needed. But they are still close friends and hang out pretty often. Again, alone in his love life, Ben felt hopeless in it. Was he cursed to be single for the rest of his life? So when Kai came back into his life, his first proper crush he can remember, he will admit that maybe he jumped into things too quickly. There was no Kenny time traveling nonsense in this version, no fate tying to together, rather just two young teens jumping into a relationship neither ended up wanting. But they stuck with it for a while because they felt like they had to, despite the arguments and bickering. Both were scared to be alone, as Ben couldn’t lose another girlfriend, and Kai realized just how lonely her work made her feel. They didn’t hate each other, they just weren’t in love. It didn’t help that, since Julie returned to Bellwood with Herve, Ben felt jealous at Herve. Which annoyed him, because Herve was actually a really nice person, and gave Julie a lot of love. Really, it was more Ben angry at himself that he couldn’t provide the things Julie needed...And while Julie and Ben did talk and hang out from time to time, Ben was distance often, even when Julie reached out to him. It was just...seeing her so happy, living a normal life, Ben didn’t want to taint that with his presence. It wasn’t until one fateful day that things started to turn around, though the start was pretty bad. It was another day, another fight with Vilgax, who was rampaging through the streets, clashing with Plumbers, Ben and Rook. Julie and Herve had been nearby when it started, and the two decided to help get civilians to safety, splitting up at one point to cover more ground. Julie ran into Rook and Ben, who tried to usher Julie away, but unfortunately Vilgax noticed her, and saw Ben’s panic of worry for Julie to run. It didn’t take long for Vilgax to remember who this young teenage girl was, and decided to use her as hostage against Ben. Seeing his arch nemesis using someone he secretly still loved as hostage, not to mention he had a pretty bad week before hand, Ben just...kind of snapped. He didn’t go easy on Vilgax for once, switching between multiple aliens rapidly to stomp Vilgax into the ground. (Side Note: I have the headcanon that, while Ben can do rapid transformation, if he does so many in a short amount of time, he does get a mild side affect of his emotions being amplified, due to his brain having tumbled around from the quick transformations.) By the time the Plumbers and Rook arrived, the two city blocks had been trashed and Vilgax was burred into the road. Due to the side affect of multi rapid transformations, Ben was protectively holding onto Julie, who had passed out from some injures from Vilgax (Nothing major, but the stress of it did make her lose conscious). They managed to pry Julie away, while Ben was taken away to calm down, needing to give his body and mind for a rest. Julie was taken to a Plumber hospital, and she woke up fairly soon with mild injures that wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to heal over the next few weeks. Many visited her, including Herve, her dad, Gwen and Kevin, along with Ship her stayed by her the entire time. It took a long while for Ben to show up, mostly because he was nervous and felt ashamed by how he acted, but Gwen gave him a good peep talk and convinced him to go. It started off a little awkward, but simple, Ben checking how she was feeling, with her also making sure he was ok too. They catched up a bit, even laughing over some old memories, which eventually lead into a small discussion about their past relationship, both finally properly apologizing for how they acted, even clearly up a few things that were worried over, like Ben admitting that he had been avoiding Julie because he thought it was better for her, and not because he hated her or anything. Buttt, one thing lead to another and well...the two kissed in the heat of the moment, both going in for it, and for a few seconds it was bliss...until they both realized what they were doing, and understanding that one, Julie was still dating Herve, and second, Ben was still dating Kai. Flustered, Ben rushed out of there, with Julie panicking over what they did.

The two keep it a secret, not wanting people to know what happened between them, and when Julie got out of the hospital, they kind of awkwardly avoided each other, needing to think about things. They clearly still held feelings, but they were both dating other people and were scared to mess up with each other again. Cue them somehow almost always bumping into each other, like the gods themselves were trying to make them suffer, and their feelings becoming more and more obvious, but neither making a move of any kind. Ben confides in Kevin, Gwen and Rook, even admitting to his feelings and the kiss to them, and while they give him advice, they know it’s up to him and Julie to sort things out.

But Ben avoids it again, not ready and unsure in himself. He already messed up many relationships before hand, including with Julie, so what if it all went downhill again...And Julie questioned herself, she had been avoiding space and alien life for so long, thinking it would make her happy, but she starts to realize that no...it’s not making her happy, trying to deny something outside of her bubble just wasn’t working anymore, especially with her feelings towards Ben. However, after some long thinking, Ben decides to at least do one thing. So he organizes a get together with Kai at a cafe, needing to talk to her. The two have a sit down and Ben explains that this relationship isn’t working, and that they shouldn’t keep trying to make something that isn’t there to happen. Kai agrees, both feeling some stress loosen from their shoulders, and they still decide to be friends, feeling much more comfortable with a relationship like that, even sharing a nice hot chocolate together at the cafe. And so while Ben goes to deal with the other problem in his love life, Kai may or may not end up catching up with Ester in the process~ While Ben makes plans on what to do next, he and Rook are ended up being called over to a Plumber Prison base, to make plans to move Vilgax finally. Little did they know, Vilgax prepared for this. You see, a part of him already knew he’d be capture again, sent to this base to await movement, so the last time he was here, he built up some allies on the inside, and eventually the outside. He also knew Ben would show up, so he made a plan to make sure the Omnitrix wouldn’t get in the way. After how Ben stomped him into the streets before, Vilgax was looking for some nasty revenge. Not really kill Ben...but something more traumatic. So when Ben and Rook show up, surprise surprise, Vilgax isn’t in his cell. While Rook talks to some of the guards, Ben searches Vilgax’s cell for clues, only for it to suddenly turn on, along with it’s defenses, including an electric shock that surprises Ben, and causes the watch to bug out, unable to be used. Rook check on Ben, but next thing anyone knows, alarms start blaring and almost all cells open, and prisoners start running while. Since Ben’s watch is down, and many people here hate him, Rook wants to keep him safe and tries to escort off the base. But Ben being Ben, he wanted to help, and rushed off to try and help some injured guards here and there, with Rook following. However, some prisoners, who were secretly working under Vilgax, skillfully guide Rook and Ben away from each other, and eventually trap Ben in a lone room, but not by himself. There, Vilgax was waiting for him, and since Ben didn’t have the watch to help, he was screwed. Vilgax knocked him around a few times, though being careful enough to not instantly kill Ben with his strength, before deciding finally to make the hero suffer. (Warning here for those who are squeamish) He does so but taking the tip of one of his claws, and dragging it down Ben’s arms, damaging his nerves. He would have done more, if not for Rook, the guards and some Plumber bursting in and chasing him off, saving Ben before he could bleed out, but the boy did pass out and wouldn’t wake up for a long while. People were, of course, scared...particularly Ben’s friends and family, who visited him everyday, mostly Max and surprisingly Azmuth, who also fixed the watch to help in Ben’s recovery. Gwen and Kevin ended up being the ones to inform Julie what happened, when she noticed Ben wasn’t around, and hearing that Ben almost died...it scared Julie. She didn’t want to lose him, of course, but also the idea that he could have died while they still had issues to fix...she didn’t want it to end like that, for things to be so messy and unclear. So when Herve saw her look down and upset, and getting her to explain what happened to Ben, the two talked. Herve admits that for a while he knew Julie still had feelings for Ben, and could tell that things weren’t so cut and dry between them, especially when he got to met Ben himself. He also admits that maybe Julie and Herve are, in a way, maybe a little too perfect for each other. Their relationship is stagnant at times, with not a lot of growth because never healthy challenges the other. So with no hard feelings whatsoever, Herve says that if Julie wants too, the two can break up but still remain friends, and Julie thanks him, agreeing too and even asking that she hopes he can still be her photographer. And for the next few weeks, Julie visits Ben with some of the others from time to time, hoping he’ll be ok so they can talk... Eventually, Ben wakes up, Azmuth having been there when he did so, and helps to catch the young boy up on what happened. Ben notices that, while his arms have been healing finely enough, his nerves are a little slow in the process, having not fully recovered, shown by him unable to keep his arms and hands steady, constantly shaking when moving them. It scares him, even when Azmuth reassures him that they’ll heal thanks to the watch...Ben just can’t help but feel like if they don’t heal, then he may have to give up the hero business in the end, even if that’s just his fears playing tricks on him. So during his recovery, people come visit him, making sure he’s ok. Until eventually, Julie shows up, wanting to make sure he’s ok, and knowing they had to talk. They couldn’t keep putting it off, especially after something like this, and Ben finally agrees to stop running and to finally clear things out. They discuss a little more about their past relationship, about their insecurities during it, and where they go from here, both mentioning they’ve broken up with Herve and Kai. They talk some more, relaxing in each other’s company, and admit to their feelings, both deep down knowing they want to give it another go. And since they’ve had time apart, learnt from new experiences, they decide that maybe they can try, taking it slow and see where it will go. And the two kiss, and for once in a very long time...it feels right. As said, they take things slow, and after everything that happened in the past few years, things actually go well for them. There are, of course, hiccups there and here, but they’re matured enough to know how to talk things through, and solve problems together. Ben does start to recover more and leave the hospital, and while he nerves aren’t fully healed by them, they will eventually. And while the two go one small dates during his healing, catching up and being blissfully happy with each other, they end up bumping into Kai and Ester, who appear to also be dating now. One thing led to another and the four end up going on double dates fairly often, having fun times together, Ben 100% supporting his two exs dating, seeing how happy they are. Julie, Ester and Kai even like to share cheesy stories of when Ben was their boyfriend, and he loves to play alone with it too. And that, is my take on Ben and Julie’s relationship! 💚💗

#Dear god I didn't mean to make this so long...#But I didn't know how to shorten it #So cheers to those that actually read this whole thing #Hope you enjoy #Ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #B10 #ben tennyson #julie yamamoto #Kai Green #Ester #Ben 10 Benlie #Benlie #EsterXKai #KaiXEster #Ben 10 Rewrite #My Answers

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letsbeoutoftouch · 3 years

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Back in December 2016, during a sleepover, my friends and I decided to watch EXO's Chanyeol's most recent movie, "So I Married an Anti-Fan". It effortlessly became one of my favourite movies, so much so that I rewatch it —at least— once a year.

Therefore, when it was first announced that South Korea was going to produce a drama based on the same story, I was thrilled. The feeling only increased when I found out that the male lead was Choi Tae-Joon, whom I loved because of Suspicious Partner. Later (to be more precise, this year), I discovered that the other lead was the one and only Sooyoung from SNSD!

The drama was filmed back in 2018, and it was supposed to air a loooot sooner, but it had a few problems and it finally came out this year. Since I don't like waiting for episodes to come out each week, I waited until it finished airing to watch it... And, today, I finished it!

So, here's my review, fresh out the oven!

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So I Married an Anti-Fan is a 2021 South Korean drama, featuring Choi Tae-Joon, Choi Sooyoung, Hwang Chansung and Han Ji-Ahn. It's based on the novel "그래서 나는 안티팬과 결혼했다" (So I Married an Anti-Fan), written by Kim Eun Jun and published in 2010.

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♡ PLOT:

The story revolves around Hoo Joon (Tae-Joon), a well-known idol, and Geun Young (Sooyoung), a magazine reporter. They meet during an event, where a series of misunderstandings leads them to have a bad impression of each other.

For this reason, when Geun Young loses her job, she's under the impression that it was Hoo Joon's doing and is therefore keen on "reveal" Joon's real character. However, her retaliation backfires, and she attracts a lot of attention as his "anti-fan".

Later, a TV producer approaches them both to star in a reality show. Geun Young and Hoo Joon accept and think to give each other a hard time on set. But, as time goes by, they get to know each other better and better.

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♡ EPISODES:

It's made up of 16 episodes, running for an hour each (i.e., your typical k-drama).

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♡ CHARACTERS:

-Geun Young (FL): She's the best character, hands down (I swear I'm not being biased because I love Sooyoung).

For some reason, I've seen a lot of bad comments about this character. I don't truly understand why some people said that she didn't stand up for herself or that she was so-so, when she dealt really well with everything that had happened to her. I'd like to see all those people in her shoes—I bet they'd have cracked up quickly.

Also, she's like the least toxic character I've ever come across in a drama. She waits patiently for Joon to deal with his problems and doesn't jump to conclusions regarding his relationship with In Hyeong and Jae Joon. She lets him do his thing, is an independent woman, and tries to be as little of a burden as she can to the people she cares about. So, props to her!

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-Hoo Joon (ML): Although I overall liked his character, I admit that if I hadn't previously watched the movie, I'd probably be wary of him at the beginning. But, don't worry: as the story progresses, you get to know him better. He's patient and thinks of other people's feelings and well-being a lot (sometimes, a little too much for his own good, but he's a good boy).

I felt the need to include that there was this one scene where he acts... In a way that I didn't find appealing. Fortunately, he isn't like that all throughout the drama. Also, he isn't toxic like a lot of the male leads in drama-land. If you're wondering which scene I'm referring to, here's a spoiler: *SPOILER ALERT* When he and Geun Young start dating, they are requested to film an advertisement together. In the filming, he acts all "jealous" because the dress she was wearing was too short for his liking. I'm sorry, but she's the only one who has a say on how short a dress she's wearing is—not you, not even if you're her partner *END OF SPOILER ALERT*.

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-JJ/Jae Joon (SML): Jae Joon is the second male lead, and he was portrayed by 2PM's Chansung.

I'm sorry, but I never could come to terms with this character, not even during the last episodes. If the writers' intention was for me to hate him, they (and Chansung's acting) totally achieved that purpose.

He is incredibly selfish and keeps this attitude up to episode 13/14. Towards the ending, the story tries that the audience feels some sympathy towards him—it is shown why he acted the way he did. Nevertheless, in my opinion, while his past may explain his actions, it doesn't justify any of them. That's why I couldn't bring myself to feel sympathetic or empathetic towards him. *SPOILER ALERT* In fact, I think Hoo Joon was too nice to be there for him in the last two or three episodes. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

He's also outright abusive. *SPOILER ALERT* I mean, he slapped In Hyeong and broke her laptop ¿?... Even though I didn't like her that much, nothing justifies that kind of violent behaviour. *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

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-In Hyeong (SFL): She's the second female lead, portrayed by actress Han Ji-Ahn.

Oh, man. I had a hard time trying to wrap my head around this character. I was just going to say that I couldn't stand her because she was always purposely putting a spanner in the works, making everyone's life difficult.

However, as I was drafting this review, I began reflecting on the character and felt sympathy for her. She was in a vulnerable place—leaving aside that she felt abandoned by her first love, she had trouble trying to make her career take off, and she was in a really abusive relationship. It could be argued that JJ and In Hyeon were both toxic to each other, but it was clear that he was the one with the upper hand (he was the CEO of her new agency, which brings a real disbalance of power).

Moreover, it was hinted several times that all she went through took a toll on her mental health (*SPOILER ALERT* she was always taking pills to calm down, and she freaking tried to kill herself!!!!!!! *END OF SPOILER ALERT*). I believe she needed professional help to put herself back together, so she could let go of her past and finally leave that abusive relationship.

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♡ COUPLES:

Since this drama mostly gravitates towards romantic relationships, I'm including this section.

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-Geun Young x Hoo Joon: They are your typical enemies to lovers.

In the beginning, their relationship was tainted by a lot of misunderstandings, which led them to hate each other's guts (but, where's the charm in a k-drama that isn't filled with misunderstandings, am I right?). Once they started to spend more time together, they began understanding each other better. In time, they were able to leave their pride aside and got rid of their prejudices (yes, the story gives Jane Austen-ish vibes, so much so that "Pride and Prejudice" is mentioned a few times).

Their chemistry was alright. I would have changed some parts of the script that made a lot of scenes to be super cringey—especially, before some of their kisses (like, what a way to ruin such an awaited moment!).

The thing I liked the most about them was that neither of them was toxic, and they knew how and when to give the other person space. They were sweet, but not unbearable sweet—just the exact amount.

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-In Hyeong x Jae Joon: I don't know if they can be considered a true couple, but I'm adding them here just to repeat that I HATED THEM TOGETHER.

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♡ SOME PERSONAL INTERPRETATIONS AND THOUGHTS:

For me, the story tries to show the two sides of the same coin: things that may seem completely different, but are essentially the same. You can see it with Hoo Joon/Geun Young, their friends, and even with Hoo Joon/Jae Joon. Of course, this could be argued—it is just my personal impression.

Also, while the drama condemns some of the toxic fan behaviour, it sometimes romanticises it. *SPOILER ALERT* one fan freaking kidnapped him, and everything was suddenly alright ¿¿ Nuh-uh *END OF SPOILER ALERT*

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♡ DRAMA VS. MOVIE:

As I mentioned above, there's a prior Chinese movie from 2016 that was based on this novel. It features EXO's Chanyeol, Yuan Shan Shan, SNSD's Seohyun, and Jian Chao.

For obvious reasons, the story is shrunk down in the movie. There are a lot of things that weren't included in the movie, other things were overly simplified, and some stuff was missing and/or changed.

If you want to have a good laugh, then I recommend you to watch the movie. It's filled with non-sensical comedy that, in my opinion, China excels at. However, if you are more inclined towards drama, then the South Korean version is the one for you (you'll laugh, too, don't worry).

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♡ SUMMARY:

This is, basically, a sweet enemies-to-lovers, famous-person-and-normal-person story. If you like any of those troupes, then you're in for a treat.

It's a really lighthearted story that will make you laugh. Don't expect a complicated plot because there won't be one. It's ideal to have a break from all those dramas where you can't miss a single detail because you'll get lost, or from those dramas which plots are so heavy they end up tiring your mind out.

I loved the cast, and their acting was great (especially Chansung's, because he made me hate his character with a passion, lmao).

ALSO, if you like Sung Hoon (My Secret Romance, Oh My Venus) like me, then WATCH THIS DRAMA, lol. He has a guest role in some episodes!

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So I Married an Anti-Fan is available on VIKI!

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If you read the whole review, thank you very much! I hope you liked it.

#so i married an anti fan #so i married the anti fan #kdrama #kdramas #choi sooyoung #choi tae joon #chansung #han ji ahn #review

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erynalasse · 2 years

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Do you think Morgoth always gave advice bound to bad ends? I was reading something earlier and it occurred to me that that has weird implications - like, say there's a debate in Aman (and surely there were many big and small) that was going on for ages and ages, almost literally. Let's say it's about dirt to make it as inconsequential as possible. Elves are arguing about dirt, maybe whether this kind of more favorable for cultivation than another. Scholars take sides based on what they think makes sense, and both sides at least seem to have their good points and bad.

Now, a freed Morgoth walks into the room and weighs in on one side or the other, and then leaves. Because elves are elves and scholarly debates are scholarly debates, the word of a Vala is weighty but it probably gets noted down and they resume as if Morgoth had never said anything at all. Better if Yavannah had spoken, that might've settled things.

Whatever side Morgoth found in favor, are they wrong? Why? Morgoth is evil and his advice goes to ill ends, but is Morgoth what made them wrong, or were they wrong all along, even before Morgoth ever knew this debate was in motion? If that side uses some of the talking points Morgoth came up with, does that make the argument 'bad'?

The idea of a being that literally embodies discord and 'marring' creates so many weird questions. If you bid Morgoth good day, and he says 'It is a good day, isn't it?' Does that make the day bad? If not, why is that exempt? At what point can it be said that the 'to ill go all things he had a hand in' thing kicks in? Is it dependent on whether or not he's just acting in good or bad faith - and if so, how strange, that Morgoth could be said to have ever acted in good faith at all!

Weirdly, the first thing this made me think of is the Euthyphro Dilemma — what role does the word of the divine have in determining goodness? Or in this case, what role does the word of a malicious deity have in determining evil? That's the template I would use if I wanted to approach this systematically. But guess what? Formal philosophy gives me a headache right now! So we're going with the second thought, which is…

…playing an evil-aligned character in DnD, which is probably your fault tbh. I saw a good post awhile back about how even chaotic evil people aren't the type to go around breaking stuff and betraying people all the time, because you need to dish out a certain level of cooperation and trustworthiness to achieve your own ends sometimes. Even if that comes with a serving of deception and future betrayal!

And I think that's the best way to interpret Morgoth's advice and wisdom in the weird in-between period where he's paroled out of the Void and walks free in Aman! He is a liar and a evil-doer, but a person like him can leverage truth and goodness for those purposes too. Canon does seem to support this. In Chapter 6 of the Silmarillion, it says,

But fair-seeming were all the words and deeds of Melkor in that time, and both the Valar and the Eldar had profit from his aid, if they sought it...

And there's a lot more quotes in this vein! Melkor is a liar, and he lied ever since he left the Void, but he still did help people when it would end up helping himself more. So it's perfectly possible to go ask him for help, get it, and have it be true and useful. I think all that insight is ultimately tainted because of why he did it, and because of how he betrayed the trust he earned with it, but it's still good advice.

#my post #asks #valasania the pale #morgoth

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maaaaaatryoshka0325 · 5 years

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Love the way you hate me - Bang Chan enemies to lovers College AU

Warnings: Smut, angst, fluff, reader is a virgin, multiple smut scenes, slight triggerish themes

I started writing this while I was hammered, so if there’s any spelling errors, I’m sorry LMAO

You’ve always hated him. His hair, his face, his sexy jawline, his cute dimple, all of it. But most of all, you hated the butterflies that would erupt in your stomach everytime he was near you.

You both had a very obvious dislike for each other, and you both made that clear. He would always tease you, and you would always shoot back a sly remark. He knew you were a virgin, he could tell by the way you acted around guys. At first he thought you were gay, but the way you seemed around men made it too obvious.

“If you ever need help, maybe I can do it.” He’d tease with a smirk. “Maybe I’d make you fall in love with me.”

Fall in love? Yeah, right. But maybe him being your first wasn’t a bad idea. I mean yeah you hated him, but no strings would be attached, right? You already hated each other, so catching feelings was already out of the picture. But how do you ask the swim captain to take your virginity? Would he even accept it?

“Maybe you should try getting some dick.” Your best friend, Minho, advised. “Maybe then you’d stop having an attitude problem.”

“By who Minho? I’m not interested in anyone.” You pointed out, taking a fry from his tray and eating it.

“I don’t know, and personally I really don’t care. Just try and get some dick. Or at least some coochie.” He muttered, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t have an attitude problem.” You argued.

“Really? Because anytime I say something to you snap,” He said, snapping his fingers. “Right the fuck back. Either you need some dick or a whole new attitude adjustment.”

“Whatever.” You muttered, dismissing his rant.

Your eyes fell on Chan as he walked in the room, his group of friends around him. He was laughing and talking to another member of the swim team, Hyunjin. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on yours, making a smirk stretch across his face as he noticed you were looking at him. You rolled your eyes and looked away, catching Minho’s eye.

“What about him?” He asked.

“Bang Chan?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes yet again. “And why would I do that to myself?”

“I mean I don’t know... He’s hot, popular, an amazing athlete, and by what I can tell by the gray sweats he wears... He’s got it all.” Minho pointed out.

“Ew! Minho!” You gasped, smacking his arm. “I didn’t know you had a thing for Chan!”

“Yah! I don’t like Chan. You know I’m a ladies man.” He said with a smirk. “But when girls constantly point it out... You tend to notice.”

You scrunched your nose up in disgust, taking a sip of your coke that you had in front of you. Minho kept looking at you before taking a bite of his burger, losing the thought of the conversation as he ate. You looked at Minho for a moment, taking in his features.

If Minho wasn’t your closest friend, you would’ve asked him to take your virginity. He came off as a cold asshole, but he was quite the opposite. He had become friends with you after you both had a group project, and you two were inseparable ever since. You always helped him out with his girl problems, which led him to complaining you never went to him about your guys problems, not that you had any.

But maybe, just maybe, he was right. You and Chan weren’t close, and you definitely didn’t like each other. He would more than likely keep it on the down low if you tried, as he seemed to treasure his reputation. He wouldn’t want to taint it by anyone finding out he had slept with you.

You stood outside of exit after you had finished your after school duties; tidying up the library and helping prep for a few classes. You knew Chan was done swim practice soon, as it ended at 4 PM every week day. You watched the doors to the gym open, and out walked Chan, his hair damp and curly from practicing in the water.

You swallowed hard and slowly approached him as he unlocked the door to his car, his eyes focused on the task.

“Chan?” You asked.

He lifted his head and turned towards you, a smirk stretching across his lips when he saw you.

“Y/N? This is quite the surprise.” He laughed, his dimple poking through as he looked at you.

“Yeah yeah, surprise.” You muttered.

“What’s up? What brings you to this side of campus?” He asked.

“I have a proposition for you.” You said, looking at him seriously.

“Oh?” He asked, leaning back against his car. “And what would that be?”

“I need you to help me with that little problem you pointed out.” You said lowly.

He arched a brow at you and tilted his head.

“What little problem?” He asked.

“Ya know... About me being a... um...” You trailed off, swallowing hard as you looked at him. “A virgin.”

His jaw dropped as he stared at you, shock in his eyes.

“Woah... Um... Wow...” He began scratching the back of his neck. “So you uh... Want me to be your first?”

You nodded, biting your lip anxiously.

“Y/N, I don’t know what kind of guy you take me for, but I don’t go around taking virginities...” He said, trailing off. “Why me anyways?”

“Because I want to lose it to someone I won’t get attached too.” You pointed out.

“Shouldn’t you want to get attached to your first time? I mean, be in love with that person?” He asked, shock still edging his voice.

“I’ve never been in love before.” You said.

He fell silent as he seemed to be thinking, taking his plump lower lip into his mouth.

“Please Chan? You and I don’t exactly like each other, and I’d rather not do it with someone I can get attached too. I’m in college and I’ve never had sex before...” You said, looking at him anxiously. “I mean if you don’t want too that’s okay, I can always find someone else.”

Chan looked at you for a moment, his eyes scanning your face for a sign of amusement, to see if it was a joke. His arms were crossed as he seemed to be thinking, before he stood up straight and looked down at you.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

You looked him in the eyes and nodded confidently. He ran his fingers through his curly hair before taking a deep breath.

“Fine, I’ll do it.” He declared, looking at you. “But if you change your mind in any way I want you to back out.”

“I will.” You said with a smile.

“Good.” He said, leaning against his car and looking at you. “So where and when do you want to do this?”

“Is it possible to do it at your dorm? Maybe a day you don’t have practice so you’re not too tired.” You suggested.

He seemed to think for a moment, his eyes on the ground before he shrugged.

“My dorm works.” He said.

“Do you have a roommate?” You asked.

“Yeah, but he’s never home.” He informed you, his eyes still scanning your face to see if you were being serious.

“When are you free?” You pressed.

“I don’t have practice tomorrow.” He said, his eyes on yours. “Is that too soon for you?”

“Tomorrow works.” You accepted with a small smile. “What time works for you?”

“Come over after your finished with your after school stuff. Changbin should be gone until 9 or 10, so we’ll have plenty of time.” He said.

“Okay.” You said with a nod. “So 4:30 tomorrow?”

“That works.” He said, standing up straight, a small smirk on his lips. “We’re going to have some fun, babygirl.”

Your cheeks flared up and you glared at him, pushing past him.

“You’re such a weirdo!”

“Wait, so you ACTUALLY took my advice?” Minho asked, his eyes wide.

“I mean yeah, it’s my best bet.” You informed him, sipping on an almost completely dry box of Yoo-hoo.

“Okay Y/N, you sucked it bone dry.” Minho said with a sly smirk. “Like what you’ll do to Chan.”

You choked and coughed, shaking your head at him.

“You’re so gross Minho!” You rasped through your coughs.

“Gross or telling the truth?” He asked, a smile on his face.

“Yeah, whatever.” You mumbled.

“Speaking of the devil.” Minho pointed out, pointing with his chin.

You turned around and saw Chan walking into the cafeteria, surrounded by friends again. This time however, he had a disgustingly familiar female with him, Kim Yenna. She was disgustingly stuck up, with her dead over bleached hair, gross looking nails (who even gets them that color anymore anyways?) and over drawn on eyebrows, and her obnoxiously fake, overly high pitched voice. And if you couldn’t tell already, she was a total bitch.

She followed Chan around like a lost puppy, always gawking at him and hanging all over his shoulder. He seemed to either not mind or not notice, but with him you really couldn’t tell. She ran a little clique of his ‘fans’ who never stopped screeching during swim tournaments. I mean you had to admit, Chan looked killer in the swim shorts and tight swim shirt he wore, but it was nothing to rip your vocal cords up over.

“I wonder if Yenna has ever tried with Chan, she’s always stuck up his ass.” Minho pointed out, sticking a spoonful of pudding into his mouth.

“I dunno, maybe.” You said, taking a bite of his pudding.

“I don’t see how he can stand her, her voice itself makes me cringe.” Minho said, shuddering from just the thought of her screeching in his ear.

“Maybe he’s attracted to that type of girl.” You suggested, shrugging.

“Definitely not. I mean, he’s attracted to you, and you’re not like that.” Minho pointed out.

“Woah, Chan is NOT attracted to me.” You argued, looking at him.

“Oh yeah, he just agreed to take your virginity.” Minho said sarcastically, rolling his dark eyes.

“That’s different.” You tried.

“How? You have to have SOME type of attraction to someone to sleep with them.” He pointed out, arching a brow at you.

“Whatever.” You muttered.

You raised your eyes to where Chan was standing and made eye contact with Yenna, who gave you a bitchy smirk and clung to Chan again. Oh yeah, she was also a bitch to you. You didn’t know why, or how it happened, but she was.

“If I could get away with slapping a woman silly it’d be her.” Minho pointed out, looking at her. “Without hesitation, I’d knock that bitch out.”

“Minho!” You laughed.

“What?” He asked, laughing.

“That’s not nice.” You giggled.

“Yeah well, neither is she.” He mumbled. “Stuck up bitch.”

You bit your lip and withdrew your hand for a third time, pulling it back to your side and pacing again. You had been standing in front of Chan’s dorm for the past 5 minutes, debating whether or not to actually knock.

You didn’t have his number, so texting him was out of the question, and you were too nervous to knock. You sighed and threw your head in your hands, a groan leaving your lips.

Maybe I was too stupid for doing this.

Just as you were about to give up and walk away, Chan opened the door, giving you a shocked look.

“Oh, hey. How long have you been out here?” He asked.

“Er... Not long.” You lied.

“Well, come in.” He said, stepping aside and holding the door for you.

You slowly stepped into his dorm, the comforting smell of warm vanilla hitting your senses. You noticed a wax burner on the counter in the kitchen, a soft pink wax slowly melting inside of it.

“My rooms down this way.” Chan said, beckoning you to follow.

You followed him into the room the in the back, your eyes taking in everything in front of you.

First of all, you never realized how much black he wore until you saw all the shirts in his closet. They were all black, not a single other color in sight. Another thing you noticed is the California king bed in the center of the room, along with a computer and speakers. You knew Chan was a music production major, but his set up was incredible.

“Like it?” He asked.

You laughed and nodded, looking at his keyboard. He smiled at you and you shook your head, remembering who he was and why you were there. You sat on his bed, biting your lip as you thought of a way to start this. You’ve never done this before, and you never imagined doing it with a guy like Chan. Chan, the one you had a serious disliking for. Chan, the one who teased you all the time and would laugh at you when you got flustered. Chan, the one that-

Your thoughts were caught off as he slowly lifted your chin and pressed his plump lips to your own, making your body tense. He pulled away and looked at you, a questionable look in his eyes.

“Are you sure about this? You don’t seem comfortable.” He pointed out.

“Y-Yeah, I’m sure. I’m just nervous...” You pointed out awkwardly.

“It’s okay, just let me do the work, yeah? I’ll teach you.” He said softly.

You nodded as he leaned in again and pressed his pillowy lips back on to yours. Your eyes fluttered closed as you melted into his kiss, sparks erupting in your lower belly. Chan felt your body relax and decided to take it to the next step, swiping your bottom lip with his tongue to ask for entry.

You allowed him entry as his tongue began to poke at your own. Your hands grabbed at his shirt in shock at the feeling of your tongues intertwining with each other, his plump lips still soft against your own. You felt his chest push against yours until you fell back on his bed, your mouths still connected as he hovered over you. His tongue could’ve easily dominated yours, very easily. But he kept the kiss gentle, knowing not to scare you.

Your hands clutched his biceps, almost shocked at how muscular they felt. He pulled away from your lips, a short string of saliva still attaching the both of you. He kissed your lips again before slowly kissing lower, his lips peppering kisses along your neck and jaw. You let out a tiny moan when he kissed the junction between your neck and shoulder, a smirk stretching across his face.

“Hm? A weak spot?” He asked, lightly sucking on it.

“Ahh, Chan.” You moaned out very softly, your fingers clutching his shirt.

“Chris. Call me Chris.” He said, lifting himself up and smirking at you. “Or daddy.”

“Yeah, in your dreams.” You hissed at him.

His eyes narrowed as he pinned your arms to either side of you, leaning down and sucking on your weak spot again. You let out a tiny whimper and he chuckled, pulling away from your neck with a small pop.

“Oh, so that’s it, huh?” He asked, arching a brow. “You’re a brat?”

“W-What?” You asked, your cheeks turning red.

“That’s exactly it, Y/N. You act all hard and have a sharp tongue, but the moment I touch this sweet little spot,” He cooed, lightly licking the spot he had sucked on. “You’re like puty in my hands.”

You whined at his words, knowing it was true. You were, indeed, a brat. He smirked down at you as he kissed along your jaw again, before coming to the neck line of your shirt. He slowly raised himself up and lifted his shirt over his head, your eyes gawking at his body.

He was completely ripped, his toned and built body in full view, along with his well defined pecks. He smirked and arched a brow at you, letting out a small laugh through his nose.

“Like what you see babygirl?” He asked.

You blushed at his words and covered your face, making him chuckle. He gently moved your hands aside and grabbed the hem of your shirt, looking at you. You nodded as he lifted your shirt over your head, his eyes scanning your body. You blushed again and went to cover up, but his hands stopped your own.

“Don’t cover yourself up Y/N.” He said softly, leaning foreword and pressing a soft kiss on the top of your right boob.

You watched him slowly unhook your bra and pull it off, your nipples standing at attention. He pressed a soft kiss to your nipple, before slowly sucking it into his mouth. You let out a soft moan, your fingers tangling in his hair as he lightly sucked on your soft mount. His hand massaged your other boob, his fingers gently tweaking your other nipple. Bliss filled your body, making a warm heat pool between your thighs. His thumb twirled your opposite nipple around, his mouth still latched to the other as you let out small whines. He finally pulled away with a small pop, his eyes shining as he saw you were already a mess.

“You’re so sensitive Y/N. It’s cute.” He purred.

Cute?

You didn’t have time to question it as he slowly slid your pants down your thighs, pulling them off of your legs. His eyes ate up the laced underwear you wore, a pretty shade of dark red with black topped lace.

“Those are beautiful.” He rasped, gently rubbing your thighs.

You blushed at his words, about to cover your face. You squealed as he wrapped his arms under your thighs and pulled your heat close to him, dropping his face to level with it. He glanced at you again and you, again, gave him the go ahead. He smirked at you as he licked up your covered heat, making a whine leave your lips.

“That was a cute sound, Y/N.” He chuckled.

“Shut u-oh!” You went to tell him to shut up, but his mouth attaching to your covered clit cut you off as you let out a moan.

He licked up your covered slit again before pulling your panties off, his eyes gluing to your dripping heat. His eyes beamed as he knew he had done this to you, and he was the only one who has. He dipped his head down and blew on your dripping slit, making you hiss at the feeling. He smirked as he licked a bold strip up your soaked folds, making you whimper.

“I love how vocal you are.” He rasped as he attached his lips to your clit.

You closed your eyes in bliss as he sucked on your sensitive nub, your fingers grabbing at his soft locks. Soft slurping sounds filled the room along with your moans, his tongue working magic on you. You felt one of his fingers poking your entrance, his eyes meeting your again.

“I’m gonna put a finger in to get you prepped, okay?” He asked.

You nodded and bit your lip as he slipped a finger into your heat, making you whimper at the foreign feeling. He pumped it soft and slow, curling it just right. His lips reattached to your clit as he gently worked your begging hole, your pussy happily sucking in his finger. You let out a loud whine when he slipped a second in, making him pull away from your clit and press wet kisses to the insides of your thighs.

“I know babygirl, but you don’t want it to hurt.” He rasped softly.

His fingers pumped slowly into, curling just the right way as his tongue rolled your clit expertly, making you close your eyes tight as your legs began to shake, your thighs closing around his head.

“Ch-Chan, something’s happening.” You whimpered.

“You’re gonna orgasm babygirl, it’s okay. You can cum.” He purred, slurping on your clit.

You let out a high pitched whimper as you came on his fingers and tongue, a small chuckle coming from his lips as your thighs tightened around his head, your eyes shut tight. He helped you through your high, lightly pumping his fingers and detaching his lips from your clit, careful not to over work you yet. He pressed wet kisses from the top of your heat, up your stomach and chest, and finally to your lips. Your eyes fluttered open as he looked down at you, his eyes soft.

“You okay?” He asked, wiping his mouth.

“Y-Yeah... That felt amazing.” You panted.

“Good.... Do you want to continue?” He asked, tilting his head.

“I-If you’re okay with that.” You said shyly.

He smiled down at you and pressed a comforting peck to your lips, his hand rubbing your hip.

“Of course I’m okay with it, I just wanted to make sure you were.” He said gently.

He stood up and pulled his pants down, his hard length pressed painfully against his boxers. Your eyes popped out of your head when he pulled his boxers down, the sound of his very girthy length hitting his stomach filling the room. He giggled at your expression, his cheeks a soft shade of pink.

“W-Will that fit?” You asked.

“Yeah babygirl, don’t worry.” He said gently, hovering over you again. “I’ll go slow.”

You nodded and he leaned over and reached into his nightstand, cursing as he rummaged around.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I... Don’t have any condoms. Fuck, I’m sorry. I haven’t done this in awhile and I figured I had some.” He sighed.

“Wait you haven’t.. Done anything in awhile?” You asked.

“I told you before Y/N, I’m really not like that.” He said with a small smile.

You bit your lip for a moment and thought, your eyes meeting his.

“Is your pull out game strong?” You asked.

He nearly choked when you asked, an amused laugh leaving his mouth.

“Oh my god. Yes, it’s good, clearly. I don’t have kids.” He laughed.

“Yeah yeah, shut up. Just pull out.” You instructed.

“If that’s what you want.” He giggled.

He hovered over you again, using one of his hands to bring your own to his shoulders.

“Grip me if it hurts.” He said softly.

You nodded as you felt his tip poking your entrance. He looked down at you as he slowly slipped the tip in, his eyes searching your face. Your jaw fell slack as he pushed in a little more, a whimper leaving your lips as tears brimmed your eyes. He stopped his hips and pressed soft kisses to your jaw. He pulled away and rubbed your hair, his eyes soft.

“Are you okay? Can you take it?” He asked.

You nodded, your nails digging into his biceps. He kissed your lips as he pushed in some more, a choked whine leaving your lips as a tear slipped past your eye. He kissed it away and clutched you tightly, halting his hips again.

“You’re doing so well babygirl, I promise. The pain will go away soon.” He whispered gentle praises in your ear, making you relax as he slipped the final inch inside of you, his hips meeting yours.

He allowed you to stay like that, pressing soft kisses to your jaw as he waited for your signal to move. You whined and he gave you a soft smile as he slowly dragged himself from your aching walls, gently pushing back in.

“Fuck.” He rasped, his hips rolling deeply into yours. “You’re so tight.”

You whimpered at his words, tangling your fingers in his soft locks as he began to pick up the pace. He slipped his hand between the two of you, rubbing figure eights on your clit as his length slid in and out of your heat. You let out a high pitched whimper as he fluidly rolled his hips into yours, rubbing your gspot and circling your clit. You tugged at his locks as pleasure blinded you, your toes curling every time his length slid into your walls.

“I’m gonna cum again Chan.” You whimpered, fingers clutching his hair.

“It’s okay babygirl, cum for me.” He rasped, rolling his hips deeply into yours.

You came with a soft whimper of his name falling from your lips, your body trembling as he rode out your high before pulling out and cumming on your stomach with a deep groan. Hot spurts on your skin made you glance down, seeing the small mess on your belly, but the look on his face was well worth it. His eyes were closed, head thrown back, plump lips parted as he stroked his length, getting every last drop out. Your eyes wandered to his length, your eyes widening when you noticed blood on it. You looked down and noticed blood on the sheets as well, panic filling you.

“U-Um, Chan? Why is there blood?” You asked, panic lacing your tone.

Chan snapped out of his post sex trance and looked at you, then down to his bloody length, then to the sheets, then your bleeding entrance, before chuckling.

“It’s normal silly.” He giggled.

“I-It is?” You asked.

He nodded and got up, looking around for a towel.

“I should clean us up.” He said.

“I can just... Go.” You said awkwardly.

He turned to you and lifted a brow.

“Why?” He asked.

“I mean... Shouldn’t I?” You asked.

“Why would you think that? I told you before, I’m not that type of guy. And there’s no way I’m gonna kick you out right after I took your virginity, and you’re bleeding on top of it.” He pointed out.

“Sorry...” You apologized shyly.

He sighed and gave you a small smile before wetting a rag and wiping his length off. He slowly rested between your legs and wiped the blood off of your entrance and thighs, cleaning you up completely before plopping down next to you. You both stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. You turned your head to look at him, his eyes glued to the ceiling fan.

“What was your first time like?” You asked.

He looked at you in shock for a moment, his eyes meeting yours. He let out a small laugh and rubbed his forehead, his eyes closed.

“It was with my first girlfriend back when I was in high school.” He said.

“Oh... Was she a virgin too?” You asked.

“Yeah, she was.” He said, turning his head away. “God, I wish I could take it back.”

“Why’s that?” You asked, your eyes sad.

“She was the first girl I ever loved, and god did I love her so much. I tried to give her everything I could. I spoiled her, I gave her time, I gave her love, and she went ahead and cheated on me.” He said softly.

Your eyes softened at his words, your heart oddly hurting for him. His eyes looked so sad, so confused.

“It’s been years but I still don’t know why.” He said, looking at you. “I guess it was just me.”

“Chan, it definitely wasn’t you. If you did all that for her, then it was her.” You pointed out.

He shrugged and stared off into space, his eyes wandering around.

“I’m serious Chan, you didn’t deserve that.” You said.

He gave a small laugh and looked at you, propping himself up on his elbow.

“Don’t you hate me? Aren’t you supposed to say I deserve it? Don’t you think I’m a shitty person?” He asked.

“I think you’re annoying, not a shitty person.” You pointed out.

Chan laughed and rolled his eyes, turning towards you.

“I’ll take that over being shitty.” He laughed. “But thanks, you’re too sweet.”

You rolled your eyes and turned the opposite way as him, facing the wall. Your eyes felt heavy as they began to close, and you fell asleep to the sound of Chan snoring softly beside you.

Your eyes fluttered open as light poured into the room. You opened your eyes and turned over, shock and horror filling you as you realized you were laying directly next to Chan. His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted as he slept. You went to move away, accidentally bumping him. His brows furrowed and he slowly opened his eyes, a small smirk stretching across his face.

“Staring at me while I sleep now babygirl?” He asked.

“I wasn’t!” You gasped, turning away.

He chuckled and moved closer, making goosebumps form on your skin as he leaned close, whispering against the skin on your shoulder.

“You can stare at me as much as you like babygirl. I know you like what you see.”

You squealed and went to push him away, making him laugh as he grabbed your arms, his face just a mere inch from yours.

“You get so flustered so easily.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, whatever.” You mumbled.

He chuckled and held your arms, a smirk on his face.

“So? Do you want this to be a thing? Like a friends with benefits type of thing?” He asked.

“We aren’t friends.” You pointed out.

“Yeah yeah, ‘enemies’ with benefits or whatever.” He said, his eyes on yours.

“Should we?” You asked, wanting his confirmation before saying yes.

“I mean, I don’t see why not. You’re not hooking up or with anyone, clearly.” He pointed out. “And neither am I. It’ll benefit us both.”

You thought about it for a moment, biting your lip before nodding.

“Cool.” He said with a smile. “Should I get condoms? Or are you comfortable starting birth control?”

“I can start birth control, I don’t see a problem with it.” You said with a nod.

“Cool.” He said, getting up. “We should probably keep this on the down low, yeah?”

You nodded as you watched him get up and throw a pair of his black boxers on. You weren’t surprised to say the least, already knowing he would’ve asked you to do so to protect his image. You sat up and covered yourself with the blanket as you looked around for your clothes, which were conveniently scattered across the room. You cursed as you looked around for you thongs, when you heard him clear his throat. You lifted your head and saw the laced topped underwear dangling from his pointer finger, a smirk on his face.

“Give them to me.” You demanded, storming over to him with the blanket wrapped around you.

“Hmmm... Maybe if you give me a kiss.” He said with a smirk, dropping his face down to your level.

“In your dreams, morning breath.” You growled, reaching for your panties.

He smirked and lifted them higher, his dimple poking through his cheek. You glared at him and went to snatch them again, when he pecked your lips and then ran out of the room with them, making your face turn red from being flustered, and from anger.

“Bang Chan you are so annoying!”

You sat with Minho after school in the indoor swimming pool area, watching the swim team. You were always helping after school, and that included sport activities. You had help set up the gym for the tournament, and now it was full of people from both teams, and their classmates. Your eyes wandered to Chan, who was clad in black swim shorts and a tight black swim shirt, a bright blue streak running along the sides of both the shirt and shorts. He looked absolutely ethereal like that, his hair soaked and curled, his swim shirt glued to his chest from the water.

His eyes were on Hyunjin as he came up, just coming before the boy from the other team did. Chan smiled at Hyunjin and helped him out of the water, patting his back and praising him. You watched the two of them, when you felt a pair of eyes on you. You turned your head and made eye contact with Yenna, who was giving you a dirty look.

“Do you always have to eye rape him?” Yenna asked, folding her arms and pursing her lips. “It’s pathetic.”

You were just about to say a snarky remark when Minho whipped his head around and looked at her, his eyes narrowed. You had to admit, when Minho was pissed, he was VERY intimidating.

“So if watching the swim captain when we’re at a, I don’t know, swim tournament is eye rape, then what do you call all of the annoying clinging and hanging all of him when he clearly isn’t interested? Molestation? Because you sure as fuck do that a lot.” Minho pointed out, eyes narrowed.

The girls in Yenna’s “clique” gasped at his words, making Yenna’s face and ears turn bright red. She grit her teeth and walked off the bleachers, irritation in her eyes. You smiled at Minho who bumped you with his shoulder, a smile on his face.

“Don’t look now, but hot swim captain is definitely looking at you.” Minho said lowly.

You slowly turned your head and made eye contact with Chan, who gave you a side smile before turning back to the water. Your cheeks turned red and Minho giggled, shaking his head.

“You let him take your virginity, now you’re shy when he looks at you?” He asked, chuckling.

“Shhh!” You hushed him, looking around.

“What? I didn’t say it loud.” Minho giggled.

“You said it loud enough!” You whisper yelled.

He chuckled and shook his head, looking at you.

“Did you get on birth control yet?” He asked.

“I go to pick up my prescription today.” You informed him.

“Good, you don’t need no Channie babies running around.” He giggled.

You smack his arm and he let out a yelp, rubbing the spot you hit.

“Ow!” He groaned. “You’re real spicy again. How long has it been since you last hooked up? You definitely need some dick.”

“We only hooked up that one time so far.” You admitted with a blush.

“Wait, it’s been a week and you guys haven’t done anything again?” He asked, arching a brow.

“Minho he’s the captain of the swim team, he doesn’t have all of the time in the world. Besides, he isn’t obligated to give me time. We’re only screwing around.” You pointed out.

“Whatever.” Minho grumbled, still rubbing his arm.

After the tournament, you got up and walked down the bleachers, stepping into the walk way. You felt someone slightly bump you, and you turned to see an attractive boy from the other swim team. He gave you a kind smile and gave you a small bow.

“Sorry, I don’t pay attention.” He said with a sweet smile.

“It’s okay, no worries.” You said, bowing back politely.

“I’m surprised your so friendly, since I’m from the rival school and all.” He laughed.

“It doesn’t matter to me, I’m just here because I set up.” You giggled.

“Really? It looks great. Maybe you should get in the water some time.” He said with a huge smile.

“I can’t swim, but thank you.” You thanked him as you headed out, catching up with Minho.

But not before you caught Chan’s eye. He was looking at you, almost watching you.

Weirdo.

You thanked the woman at the pharmacy as you picked up your birth control prescription, slipping it into your bag as you walked out. As you were walking out, you bumped in to someone else.

“Sorry Mister.” You apologized, before realizing who it was.

Chan was looking down at you, a smile on his face.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I was um... Grabbing the birth control.” You said lowly and awkwardly.

He smiled at you and nodded, beckoning for you to follow him back in.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“I get my protein powder here. It’s the only place that sells the brand I like.” He informed you, grabbing a thing of it and paying. “Wanna go get some coffee?” “Why?” You asked, tilting your head.

“I mean, every time I talk to you isn’t going to be to get my dick wet babygirl.” He said with a smirk as he led you out of the pharmacy and to the cafe.

“Ya know, for someone who wants to keep what we’re doing on the down low, you call me that quite a lot.” You pointed out.

He chuckled and ordered your drinks, paying for yours. You looked at him and frowned, making him laugh.

“I mean, you just had to pay for birth control. I’m pretty sure I can at least grab you a coffee.” He said.

You shrugged and sipped your drink, following him as he walked out of the cafe. He led you to his car and beckoned for you to get in, and you followed him in. You opened the birth control and checked the time, wanting to take it at the same time every day (You’re supposed too). Chan watched you pop it down your throat, making him swallow hard.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothing.” He said, starting his car and driving off.

“No Chan really, what is it? It looks like you’ve just seen a ghost.” You said.

“You really aren’t helping my case.” He said lowly.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“You just... Took the birth control that you got specifically because of me right in front of my face after I told you I’m not always trying to get my dick wet.” He grumbled, eyes focusing on the road.

A good and bad idea popped into your head. Minho always talked about rough sex, saying the women he’s messed around with purposely would get him worked up/pissed off just for him to ruin them and honestly, you were curious about it. Yeah it would only be your second time, but you were curious if Chan would get so worked up and ruin you. You gave him a sweet smile then rested your hand on his thigh, softly rubbing it.

“It’s okay Channie.” You said with a smile.

His breath hitched and his hand grabbed yours and squeezed, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at you.

“You’re playing a dangerous game babygirl.” He growled.

“Am I, Channie?” You asked. “How dangerous?”

As soon as you were in Chan’s dorm, his lips were all over yours. His hands were on your waist, his fingers digging into your skin as he backed you into his room. His lips were hungry against yours as he pushed you on the bed, detaching his lips from yours, a string of saliva still connecting your lips. He rubbed his thumb along your bottom lip, spreading the saliva on it. You closed your mouth on the tip of his thumb and he smirked at you, lifting his shirt over his head.

“On your hands and knees babygirl.” He commanded.

You flipped yourself onto your hands and knees, making him chuckle.

“What?” You asked, looking back at him.

“I’m going to teach you how to arch, alright?” He asked.

You nodded as you felt his right hand rub your right asscheek, gently massaging it. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to get lost in the feeling of his hands roaming your ass. You felt his hand slide up your back, as he began to put pressure in the middle.

“Lower your front upper half.” He instructed.

You did as he told you, pressing your chest flat against the bed, your cheek against the mattress as the only thing up in the air was your ass.

“Perfect.” He purred, gripping your asscheek and rubbing it.

You felt his hands move your shirt up, unclasping your bra as he slid your shirt and bra off, lifting you just enough to get them off of you. He pressed soft kisses to your bare shoulder and back as he began to kiss his way down your body, until he got to the waist band of your pants. He slid your pants down and off your legs, his eyes staring at your ass and covered core. He placed both hands on both of your asscheeks, rubbing them in firm motions.

“Your ass is so perfect.” He rasped.

You blushed at his praise, then inhaled sharply as he moved your panties to the side, the cool air hitting your dripping heat. He chuckled as he ran a finger on your slit, spreading your arousal.

“You get so wet babygirl, I love it.” He groaned.

You felt a finger slip into your entrance, making you moan softly as he began to pump it in and out of you. His eyes watched the way your pussy swallowed around his finger, hugging it tightly. He smirked as you let out tiny moans, slightly pushing your hips back against his finger for more friction.

“What’s wrong babygirl?” He asked with his smirk still plastered across his face. “What do you want?”

You whimpered at his words, knowing he knew damn well what you wanted. You wiggled your ass a bit and he chuckled, pulling his fingers from your soaked heat. You let out a loud whine and he smirked down at you.

“You have to use your words babygirl.” He purred.

“I-I want you to fuck me, Chris.” You whined, using his birth name to finally get what you want.

His eyes darkened as you finally heard the sound of his belt hitting the floor, feeling the blunt, thick head of his length against your entrance. You felt him gently slide it on your folds, slicking it up. You whimpered in annoyance, earning a chuckle from him.

“What’s wrong babygirl?” He asked with a small chuckle.

“Please, please stop teasing me Chris.” You whimpered.

He leaned foreword and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your shoulder, a soft smile on his face as he slowly began to slip into you. You grit your teeth as his length once again stretched your heat. It wasn’t as painful as the first time, but it still hurt pretty bad. When he was up to the hilt inside of you, he kissed up your bare back, rubbing your hips soothingly.

“You okay?” He asked.

You nodded and pressed your cheek into the bedding, looking back at him.

“I’m okay, you can move. Please, move.” You whimpered.

He slowly drew his hips back, then pushed them foreword slowly until his hips met the flesh of your ass. You keened as his length pushed deep into you, making you let out a choked moan. His thrusts were shallow and slow, making you whine out.

“I can take more Chris, you don’t have to be so gentle.” You rasped.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yes, please Chris. I need more.” You whimpered.

With that, his pace began to pick up. His grip on your hips tightened as he began to thrust fluidly into your dripping heat, making you see stars as he began to rub your Gspot. Your hands clutched the blankets on his bed, loud moans and whimpers leaving your lips as he snapped his hips into yours. Your toes curled and you buried your face into his bedding as the pleasure began to blind you.

“Who was that guy you were talking too?” He asked with a deep roll of his hips.

“Fuck- what guy?” You asked, trying to cling to the last bit of sanity you had.

“The one that was in the swimming tournament.” He growled, snapping his hips roughly into yours, slapping sounds filling the room every time his hips met the flesh of your ass.

“I-I don’t know him. He just- oh, God... He just bumped into me.” You rasped, clinging harshly to the blankets as your whines and moans became more high pitched and desperate.

You came hard with his name rolling off of your tongue, like it was your favorite verse of a song. His hips stuttered as he fought to contain himself long enough to ride out your high before pulling out and cumming on your back and ass with a deep groan. You both panted as you allowed your lower half to fall flat along with the upper half of your body, when you felt him plop on top of you, being careful not to crush you. You turned your head as it rested on the bed as you looked at him. His wavy hair was damp with sweat and sticking to his forehead, his eyes were closed, his plump lips parted as he panted, and his chest and shoulders glistened with sweat.

He rested his chin on your shoulder, panting as he slowly peeled himself back off of you before placing a kiss on your shoulder and grabbing a towel. He made his way back over to you and wiped you up, his eyes going to yours.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his voice soft. “You bled again.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just need a minute to breathe.” You rasped.

He nodded and plopped down beside you on his back, his breathing still ragged.

“This is your fault you know, I didn’t even plan for us to do this today.” Chan said, looking at you.

“Mhmm, sure.” You muttered.

“Maybe I corrupted you.” He giggled.

You smacked his chest and he yelped, glaring at you as you glared at him.

“Perv.” You muttered.

“You’re the pervert. You’re the one who seduced me when I was just minding my own business. I really have corrupted you already.”

SMACK.

“OW!”

You finished setting up the banner to the pool room, pridefully looking at it. You had hand made it and spent hours on it, excited to finally hang it up. Chan had also helped with it, staying after his swim meets and practices to help you. You both had been spending more time together recently, more time than you even noticed. He was just always there, even though he annoyed the hell out of you.

“Y/N!” You heard one of the swimmers, Hyunjin, call, beckoning you over to the pool.

You, being curious, decided to go see what was up. You walked over and he pointed to the water.

“Can you check that thermostat real quick?” He asked.

You being slightly naive didn’t think that hey, he was a swimmer, he could just get right up in there and check it. Instead, you leaned foreword and looked down, squinting your eyes at it. You were about to read it when two arms grabbed you and dragged you into the water, making you yelp. Your body went under and you desperately searched for the floor, anxiety making your breath knocked out of you as you tried to break to the surface.

You couldn’t swim, and you had almost drowned at one point, making water one of your biggest fears. And now you were stuck in that position again, your lungs screaming for air as you tried to kick your legs. You felt strong arms grab you and lift you out of the water. You coughed and sputtered water as Chan lifted you out of the pool, shock and worry on his face.

“Can you not swim?” He asked in disbelief.

“No.” You choked, coughing out water as tears streamed down your cheeks.

You shoved him away from you, anger and fear searing through you, as he had been the one that dragged you under.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He said, his eyes still wide.

You pushed past him and grabbed your stuff, hurrying out and rushing back to your dorms. You locked yourself in your dorm, sobs shaking your body as you were still fighting off the anxiety and embarrassment. You curled into yourself, still soaked, as your phone rang, and you saw Chan’s caller ID. But you didn’t pick up, you didn’t answer his text. You just cried by yourself, wishing you could just disappear.

You didn’t like parties. scratch that, you hated them. They were always over crowded, smelled like alcohol, cigarettes, and teen pregnancies, and no one ever had a good intention there. You haven’t been to many college parties, always straying away from them.

But tonight was different, to say the least. Minho had dragged you to a frat party, since he was friends with the host, who turned out to be Hyunjin. You were standing with Minho, a solo cup in your hand as you had decided to drink for once. You sipped on your drink as Minho talked to the other guys, just zoning in and out of the conversation. You were also distracted, as Chan was there, Yenna clinging to his arm as usual. He was talking with his roommate, Changbin, not paying her any attention. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol talking, but seeing her all over him kind of pissed you off.

You and Chan have hooked up a total of 13 times in the past month and a half, but ever since the incident, neither of you have spoken. He never talks about Yenna, but with the way he lets her cling to him has you questioning if he’s sleeping with her too. But why should you care? It’s not like you two were dating, and you hated him. At least, you were supposed too. You kept your eyes on Minho for the most part, but they also tended to wander to Chan. He never once glanced at you, that you’ve noticed.

Yenna leaned a little too close to his face and you finally decided to distract yourself. You put your cup down and excused yourself to the bathroom, slowly making your way through the crowd of people who were either dry humping each other or making out. You half stumbled through them to make it to the bathroom, about to reach for the knob when the door opened. Your eyes widened when you recognized the guy you had almost bumped into while leaving the swim tournament. He gave you a friendly smile, and you looked at him in confusion.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

“We love us some parties, and we got invited. We don’t like to pass up generous offers.” He said with a smile.

“Ah, I see.” You said awkwardly.

“Do you wanna drink a bit? You’re like, the only nice one here.” He pouted.

“Sure.” You said with a shrug

.He led you to the kitchen, the both of you taking jello shots and talking. He kept pushing drinks on you, making you very drunk. You never get like this, so the feeling is new as you’re nearly wasted. He keeps trying to hand you even more drinks, but you start declining them. You knew you fucked up after the last shot, and now you felt sick. You went to excuse yourself, when he grabbed your arm.

“Too drunk?” He asked.

You nodded and he led you outside into the cool night air, and you felt grateful for him doing so. That is, until you realized his intentions. He slammed his lips into yours, and you quickly pushed him away, backing away from him. That kiss was nothing like Chan’s, not one bit. Chan’s was always full of passion, while this guys was full of pure lust and hunger. You backed away from him and his expression became angry.

“You led me on.” He snarled angrily, stepping up to you.

You backed into the wall, tears filling your eyes as you began to cower away from him. You didn’t understand what he was talking about, you had only been nice.

“You’re just a whore, aren’t you? You must sleep around with a bunch of guys, since you seem to flirt with every guy in sight.” He spit at you, making your stomach churn.

He smirked as he realized you were trapped between the outside of the house and him, his eyes dangerous.

“I’ll treat you like a whore then.” He snarled, his lips almost crashing against yours again.

You closed your eyes and tried to push him away, when suddenly he grunted and staggered back, clutching his jaw. You looked up and saw Chan standing in front of you, his eyes dark as his jaw was clenched and tight. The kid stepped up to Chan and Chan swung again, catching his face and tossing him on the ground.

You trembled as you felt someone grab you and pull you away, and you recognized Changbin. Minho instantly came out of the house, checking you over and sighing with relief.

“Hyunjin distracted everyone else.” He informed Changbin.

“Good. This kid needs to get his ass out of here, him and his goon friends.” Changbin said.

“Y/N?”

You lifted your head and saw Chan approaching you quickly, grabbing your face and looking you over.

“Are you okay, are you hurt?” He asked, his voice shaking with anger.

“I-I’m okay.” You stuttered out.

He sighed in relief and pulled you into his chest, his arms around you tight. You leaned into him, half for comfort, half because you were so trashed you couldn’t hold yourself up. His hand stroked your hair as he rested his cheek on your head before looking at Minho.

“I’m gonna take her back to my dorm.” He informed him.

Minho nodded and looked back at the kids friends who were looking for him.

“Go, we’ll take care of this.” Minho said as Changbin smiled at him.

Chan lifted you into his arms and brought you to his car, buckling you in before heading back to his dorms. You kept dozing off, your head feeling heavy as you leaned it against the window. Chan didn’t say a single word until you got back to his dorm. You immediately headed for the toilet, throwing up your stomach content. You felt his hands gently pull your hair back into a make shift pony tail, holding your hair out of your face. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you finished, sitting down on the floor.

“Do you ever drink this much?” He asked.

You shook your head and he sighed, going to his dresser and bringing an over sized T-shirt. You went to move but almost fell over, so he helped you rid of all of your clothes besides your panties. He slipped the T-shirt over your head and handed you his bottle of mouth wash. You rinsed your mouth as he went to get the bed set up. When he came back, you were leaning against the door frame, tears spilling down your cheeks.

“Do you feel sick again?” He asked, walking over and grabbing you by your elbows.

You shook your head and stepped into his arms, burying your face into his chest. You felt his one hand stroke your hair, his other arm wrapping around your waist as he held you tightly.

“I was so scared.” You whimpered into his strong chest. “I didn’t think you were going to come for me. I didn’t think anyone was.”

His arm tightened around you, his hand cradling your head into him. His breathing was ragged as he got mad again, his cheek resting on your head.

“His kisses, th-they weren’t like yours. They were gross and made me feel gross.” You said with a small sob.

“I know baby, I know. It’s all okay now, he can’t touch you. I’m here, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” He said softly.

He brought you to his bed, sliding in with you and pulling you into his arms. His one arm was tucked under your head, the other pushing your hair out of your face. Your hand found his as you looked at the open wounds on his knuckle, your eyes lifting to his.

“It’s okay.” He said softly as he wiped a tear that slipped out of your one eye.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered.

“Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, that was his fault.” Chan said, trying to soothe you.

“Not just that, but for being so mean to you after you didn’t know I couldn’t swim. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” You sobbed.

“Shhh, it’s okay babygirl. Let’s get some sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning.” He said softly.

You nodded and slid closer into his arms, burying your face into his chest. You fell asleep to him stroking your hair, and to his steady heartbeat.

You winced as you held your pounding head, groaning. Chan looked over at you, his back against the pillows as he had been up for a bit. He reached across his table and handed you two painkillers and a bottle of water.

“Take these.” He said.

You took the medication and laid back down, your eyes on his busted knuckle. He noticed you looking at it and slid down to your level, turning on his side to look at you. You looked back at him as he stretched his hand out, pushing your hair out of your face. You moved closer into his touch, and he instinctively did too. Your lips met in a soft kiss, his hand on your jaw softly. When you pulled away you both looked at each other, your eyes scanning each others.

“His kisses really weren’t like yours.” You whispered.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t of kissed you after that happened.” He sighed, about to get up.

You slipped your hand on his cheek, shaking your head.

“I like your kisses, Chan.” You admitted with a blush.

He smiled at you and leaned in, his lips meeting yours sweetly. You closed your eyes and melted into his kiss, the kisses you liked. Your fingers slid over his cheek, his hand on your waist a he brought you close to him. His tongue swiped over your bottom lip, and you gave him the entry he was craving for. You tangled your fingers in his wavy locks as your tongues danced, his quickly putting yours back in it’s place. He pulled away and started to kiss your jaw, when you stopped him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, worry in his tone.

“You always please me, I think it’s time for me to learn to please you.” You said.

“You don’t have too, Y/N.” He said with a small blush.

“I want too, I want to learn.” You pressed, your innocent eyes determined.

“Fine.” He agreed, sitting up.

You got between his legs and rubbed his hardening legnth through his boxers, making him hiss.

“Don’t even try to tease babygirl, I’ll put you right back in your place.” He informed you with a smirk.

You pouted but obeyed, slipping his thick length from his boxers. You gave him a questionable look and he chuckled.

“Start with the head, you can even just spit on your hand to slick it up so you can rub it a bit.” He said.

You nodded and spit on your hand before rubbing it up and down his length, making him bite his lip. You pumped his length, rubbing the slit with your thumb.

“Okay, now start with the head, use your tongue first.” He instructed.

You nodded and gave his tip a light kiss before swirling your tongue around the head, making him inhale sharply. You licked up the side of his shaft, making him close his eyes in bliss. You slowly sucked his tip into your mouth, making him let out a small moan.

“You’re doing good babygirl, now take some of me down your throat.” He ordered.

You looked at him as you slid his length down your throat, his girth making your jaw tense. You pushed the thought to the back of your head as you began to slowly bob your head up and down. Chan let out a hiss and grabbed your hair, pulling your head up.

“A little less teeth, hollow out your cheeks like this.” He instructed, showing you how to hollow them out.

You went back down on him and did what he said, hollowing out your cheeks as you took him down your throat. His head rolled back and leaned on the wall, a soft groan leaving his lips as his tip began to hit the back of your throat. His fingers dug into your hair, holding it out of your face as you swirled your tongue every time you came to the tip. He let out a small grunt and pulled you away from his length, his eyes hooded as he pushed you onto your back.

“Was it bad?” You asked, worried that’s why he pulled you away.

“It was perfect, but I think you deserve a reward for doing so well.” He purred.

He slipped between your legs and pressed his tip to your entrance before slowly slipping inside of you with little resistance. You both let out sighs of relief as he slipped up to the hilt inside of you. He pressed a soft kiss to your lips as he rolled his hips into yours lazily.

“You’re so soaked babygirl, did making me feel good turn you on that much?” He asked with a groan.

“I love making you feel good Chris.” You moaned as his hips rolled deeply into yours, making your toes curl every time he entered you.

The early morning sun casted a beautiful glow on his honey skin as he thrusted into you slow, but deep. He pressed soft kisses on your jaw line as hips snapped into yours, your fingers digging into his back. His hips slightly picked up the pace as he panted.

“I’m not gonna last long babygirl.” He rasped.

“Me either C-Chris, I’m gonna cum.” You whimpered.

All it took was his fingers to rub lazy figure eights onto your clit for you to see stars, a soft moan of his name leaving your lips. He rode out your high before pulling out and cumming on your stomach, the hot spurts shooting up to your boobs.

“Shit, sorry.” He rasped.

“Its okay.” You said tiredly, the both of you looking at each other with blissed out faces.

He grabbed his shirt and wiped you clean before wrapping an arm around your waist, his head on your chest as he yawned.

“I could use a nap.” He murmured.

You smiled as you played with his hair until his breathing became softer, indicating he was asleep. You closed your eyes and drifted off, a smile on your face.

You took down the banner as the tournaments were over for the next few months. You felt relieved though, now Chan could finally rest and stop over working himself. As you took down the tournament posters and other things, you thought about everything with Chan. You had hated him, everything about him, and now? You didn’t know what it was, but you knew you it wasn’t hate. Was it love?

But how could it be? You promised yourself and made the deal with Chan to not fall in love. Had you broken your most sacred rule to yourself?

The sound of the heavy doors opening and shutting made you jump, ripping you from your thoughts. You turned to see Yenna and her two friends approaching you. When they got in front of you, Yenna folded her arms and looked you up and down.

“Can I help you?” You asked.

“Actually you can, by staying away from Chan.” She said bitterly.

“I’m sorry, what?” You asked, slightly amused.

“You heard me. Stay away from Chan. He could never like a bitch like you anyways.”

“Then what are you so worried for?” You asked, arching a brow.

“Oh trust me, I’m not worried. It’s just annoying and pathetic when the ugly duckling tries to get in the way.”

“Well, this ugly duckling is just minding her damn business, and so should you.” You said firmly.

“What was that?” She asked, irritation in her voice.

“You heard me, mind your damn business. It’s none of your business who I’m with, or who Chan’s with.” You said.

She stared at you for a moment before scoffing, a smirk on her face.

“I hate to do this to you, but it’s a shame I know your little secret.” She said.

“What?” You asked.

Your eyes widened when you felt her push you, your body plummeting into the deepest end of the pool. You instantly began to thrash around, your lungs screaming as you sunk straight to the bottom. You tried to move your arms, but your body was frozen with fear and anxiety.

I’m sorry Chris.

You closed your eyes and decided it was best to let fate take you, when you felt a pair of familiar strong arms grab you and lift you from the water. You felt yourself being laid on the cold floor as you coughed and gagged, whimpers leaving your lips as you fought for air. You felt hands on your cheeks and saw Chan’s face, his voice ringing in and out of your ears.

‘Y/N? Are you okay?” He asked.

You blinked at him and nodded, earning a sigh of relief from him as he pulled you into his arms. You noticed he was soaked and realized he had jumped in to save you. You buried your face into his shoulder, tears streaking down your face as you still fought to breathe. Chan lifted you into his arms and began to walk out of the pool room when Yenna stepped in front of him.

“Chan we were just-”

He whipped his head around to face her, his eyes holding daggers in them. He looked as if he wanted to kill the bitch on the spot.

“If you ever come near us again I’ll break your fucking arms you fucking psycho bitch.” He growled.

Yenna backed away and Chan carried you out the doors and to his car, flying to his dorm.

When you got back, he quickly put you in his large shirt that just came out of the dryer before pulling you in between his legs and into his arms.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He whispered.

“It’s okay Chris.” You said, stroking his cheek. “It’s not your fault.”

“But it is. She must’ve seen us together at some point. I’m so sorry, I should’ve done a better job at keeping it on the down low.” He said, his voice shaking.

“Wait, that’s why you wanted to keep it a secret?” You asked.

“Yeah, why else would I want too?” He asked.

“I-I thought it was so I wouldn’t ruin your reputation. I thought if someone found out you’d be embarrassed for sleeping with someone like me.” You said.

‘Someone like you? Y/N, there’s nothing wrong with you.” He said firmly.

You blushed and looked at him as he rubbed his face, his eyes bloodshot and glassy.

“Chris-”

“I’m sorry. This is my fault.” He said, tears beginning to form at the corner of his eyes.

Tears filled your own eyes as you rubbed his cheek, looking at his lost expression.

“If it’s your fault it’s mine too.” You said softly.

“How?” He asked.

“I broke the number one rule Chris. I fell in love with you like an idiot. I fell in love knowing we can’t, but I did.” You said, tears streaming down your eyes.

He looked at you in shock as you cried, wiping your tears with your arms.

“I’m sorry Chris.” You sobbed softly, trying to hide your face.

You felt his hands grab your face as he pressed his lips to yours in a soft kiss, making your heart hammer against your chest.

“Idiot... I love you too.” He whispered against your lips.

“You do?” You asked, looking at him in shock.

“I do, Y/N. So, so much.” He whispered. “And I always have, even before we started hooking up. I loved the way you acted like you hated me. I loved how you could reject and stand up to me. I loved you from the start.”

You both smiled at each other as your lips melted together in a passionate kiss. You tangled your fingers in his damp hair as he lifted you up and pushed you onto his bed, a soft look in his eye.

“I’ll show you how much I love you.” He rasped as he kissed all along your neck.

You purred as he rubbed your clit through your panties, his other hand lifting his over sized shirt. He lifted it over your head and kissed every piece of exposed skin he could find.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered between kisses.

You threaded your fingers through his hair as he left love bites and kisses all over your skin. He looked at you with so much passion, so much love. He kissed your lips as he worked his pants down his legs, pulling his length out. He rubbed it on your slit before looking into your eyes as he sunk into you, your pussy hugging his dick like a vice. He pressed his forehead against your own as he began to rock his hips into yours, his pace starting off fast.

“I love you.” You whimpered against his lips as you kissed him again.

“I love you too babygirl.” He rasped, his lips melting into yours.

Loud slapping sounds filled your ears as he pounded you into the bed, soft grunts and your moans making into the most beautiful song. He lifted your legs over his shoulders and pounded into you, making you cry out at the deep angle.

“Y-You’re so fucking deep Chris.” You whimpered, your hands squeezing the pillows behind your head for dear life.

“Does it feel good baby?” He asked in between pants as his hips slapped off of yours.

“So, so good Chris.” You moaned, eyes rolling back as your back arched. “So fucking thick.”

“You’re so- fuck- tight.” He groaned.

“Ch-Chris, cum inside me, please.” You whimpered as his length fucked you dumb.

“You want to be my little- shit - cum slut before my girlfriend huh?” He teased.

“Please Chris, I want it.” You whimpered shamelessly.

His eyes darkened as he lifted you both up, sitting on his knees as he bounced you up and down his thick length as he pounded into you. Your cries and moans filled the room, the sound of skin slapping accompanying it with his grunts and groans. He buried his face into your chest as you began to clench around him.

“I’m gonna cum Chris, fuck I’m gonna cum.” You whimpered.

“Cum babygirl, cum for me.” He rasped.

You came with a scream of his name, your body tensing and your back arching. Your nails dug into his back, blood dripping down the little crescent shapes you made. You felt his body shudder and warmth splash against your walls as he came with a groan, his arms tightening around you.

You both panted as he slowly laid you both down on your sides, his dick still buried deep inside of you. He rubbed your hip and kissed your forehead as you came down from your high. When you calmed down, he caught your lips in a kiss, a smile on his face.

“Will you officially be mine Y/N?” He asked.

You stroked his cheek and nodded, burying your face into his chest. He hummed as he stroked your hair, content now.

“I’m happy I asked you when I did, I’m so happy it was you. I’m so happy it is you.” You confessed.

He smiled down at you and kissed your head, stroking your cheek.

“I’m happy too. I love you, so much.”

“I love you too Chris. So, so much.” You whispered, nuzzling into his chest.

That night, you fell asleep in Chan’s arms, as close as you two could get. You were finally with your first, and hopefully your last, love.

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