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lesserfandomappreciation · 3 years

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Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off

Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes.

Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa.

Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above

because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay. A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.

I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*

*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here.

Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.”

Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article.

By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school.

Here’s how this shit went down.

First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love.

“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!

Her consent!

In ancient Greece!

The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!

Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading.

Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that.

Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado. And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?

NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me.

Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this.

There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend.

Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!

YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.

BUT WAIT.

There’s more.

The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!

For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon.

Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:

Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general.

Take that Zeus, for being so gross.

The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)

Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)

The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.

That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

Mistress of Labyrinths.

Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!

Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?

And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!

What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.

Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them.

Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery.

Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big.

Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages.

Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason.

Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”

You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!

^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^

“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”

Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:

All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.

The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.

Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure.

A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!

Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?

ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!

Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy!

I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat. Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!

Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?

Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical.

Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot.

How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km.

The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.

Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.

Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.

Minoa was fucked.

The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.

Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.

Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!

Guess who won?

Also Mycenaea!

Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs.

Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.

“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”

Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed.

Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi.

An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one.

In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories.

However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in.

This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.

The Mycenaeans were likely no different.

Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman.

Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.

Fuck the Mycenaeans.

* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more.

What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus.

With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy.

Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it.

All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more.

In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out.

#minoa #minoan #crete #ancient history #ariadne #mycenaea #mycenaean #I hate #HATE #HATE HATE HATE the Greeks so much #homer is a dick #So much spite and curiosity went into this #if I ever get a time machine I will travel to the first years of Mycenaea for the express purpose of burning it to the ground before #they get a chance #the opportunity #to look at Minoa wrong

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mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years

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Sunshine

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Han Jisung (Stray Kids)

Word Count: 12K

Genre: Married Life AU

Warnings: Smut and Language

Summary: Y/N has loved Jisung for her entire life and she would never dream of marrying anyone else. Of course, their life together isn’t always perfect, but they’ve always managed to overcome every obstacle standing in their way.

Note: Feeling soft for Jisung these days...

I was only 8-years-old when my parents divorced.

My mother, thinking herself circumspect, blamed it on my father’s long hours at work. But she wasn’t there the night I decided to wait for my father, watching him come home in the dead of night to quietly clean the lipstick painting the side of his cheek. I remember catching his eyes from the bottom of the staircase and the guilt in his eyes was impossible to dismiss.

Those kinds of unfortunate secrets are difficult to hide because they demand to be seen.

Thereafter, I can recall memories of sitting in different offices, listening to my parents bicker while their lawyers did their best to satisfy bitter clients, especially when it came to their daughter. I was a particularly harsh point of contention, but full childhood custody was granted to my mother who did everything in her power to push my father out of our lives, even packing up our belongings to move to the opposite side of the country. And New York City was just as intimidating as my childish imagination had perceived it to be. My first impression was unforgettable, a city that was large and confusing, constantly streaked with traffic and heavy with the low-set of smog in the mornings when the sun could barely filter through the landscape of skyscrapers.

My mother and I moved to the suburbs and started renting a modest home with the idyllic front yard and friendly neighbors who greeted us with dishes containing different foods upon our arrival. I had always been shy and introverted, choosing the comfort of my mother’s legs whenever a stranger would knock on our door, occasionally offering my mother a flirtatious smile. Like the older man who lived across the street who often made a habit of coming over to talk to my mother in the living room while I hid away upstairs, listening to the sound of their laughter.

Eventually, I could no longer pretend that something strange wasn’t happening, especially when my mother’s new friend brought over his two sons. They were both around my age, sporting thick accents that reminded me of the man on television who liked to wrestle with crocodiles. My mother’s friend introduced them as Chan and Felix, encouraging the three of us to get along because we would be spending a lot of time with each other. My childish innocence didn’t quite understand what that meant, but I wanted to do the very best for my mother.

Even so, I was still hesitant at first because Felix seemed to dislike the idea, ignoring me in exchange for his video games when I would come over to their house. Thankfully, Chan was more willing to comply, sharing his books with me since we both liked to read and the couch in his bedroom was extremely comfortable. He had a wide variety of mysteries and thrillers and my impressionable mind would latch onto those exotic stories and themes, picturing myself in the place of the heroine who somehow managed to always know exactly what to do in the most formidable of situations.

Eventually, Chan invited me to accompany him and Felix to the park to meet their other friends since I was having trouble making them on my own. Felix, of course, remained opposed, very nearly throwing a fit had it not been for his father who scolded his son for being so inconsiderate. Not that I was necessarily excited at the idea of meeting their friends since I would have preferred staying inside to read. Nevertheless, my mother was insistent that we get along, so I reluctantly followed Chan and Felix who were talking about some sort of new comic book that they were both reading. It was all very decidedly boyish things and I had no interest in superheroes who ran around in capes when the real heroes were the common female protagonists of my books.

“Everyone, meet Y/N,” Chan had introduced me, pushing me forward to greet the seven other boys who were all looking at me like I was some sort of extraterrestrial specimen.

One of their older friends, with a messy head of black hair, immediately crossed his arms. “No way, Chan,” he protested, glaring at me with intimidating dark eyes.

“Girls aren’t allowed,” another boy agreed, nodding his head with enough force to send his bangs flying into his eyes.

I retreated into myself with each subsequent insult and dismissal thrown my way. It was enough to ostracise even the most outgoing of individuals, but I was quite frustrated because I had tried to resist coming along from the moment Chan first proposed the idea. “I didn’t want to come anyway,” I snapped at the boys, surprising each and every one of them as I stormed away to plant myself down on one of the park benches.

I could hear Chan calling my name but I had decidedly had enough of those boys, including Chan despite the inherent kindness he had previously shown me. In fact, they could have fun without me doing whatever it is that nasty little boys liked to do in the park. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyway, even if they had opened their arms and begged me to play along. Of course, I was still deeply hurt that they had dismissed me so quickly, but I had always been a prideful child, which is why my first instinct was to lash out when I noticed a shadow had fallen over my wilted form. “You don’t have to be nice anymore, Chan,” I said, turning away from the approaching boy.

“I’m really sorry.”

I glanced up in surprise when I realized that the voice was much brighter than Chan’s gravelly tone. Instead, I met a pair of unfamiliar brown eyes from beneath a fringe of blonde-colored hair. The boy held out a flower, a wilted dandelion that had nearly lost its pappus, as if in a gesture of appeasement.

I accepted it from him hesitantly. “Thank you.”

“They shouldn’t be so mean,” the boy continued, waving at his friends who were busy arguing over a silly football. “You’re really tall so you might be able to catch Minho’s long passes.”

I paused at his comment. “Do you want me to play?”

“Of course,” the boy grinned, smiling as brilliantly as the sun bearing down on the two of us. “My name’s Jisung.”

I returned his smile. “It’s nice to meet you Jisung.” He offered me his hand which I gratefully accepted, holding on to him with an unrelenting grip because I had a feeling that I would never want to let go.

This might explain why, years later, I was still waking up next to him in bed with an expensive ring on my finger courtesy of dozens of saved paychecks back when Jisung worked overtime in college. On this morning, in particular, the sound of my alarm might have been enough to wake me up, but the unexpected presence of my husband’s hand groping my chest provided the necessary catalyst to blindly reach out for my cell phone. I silenced the unwelcome disturbance, allowing a low groan when I reached down for his hand because leave it to Han Jisung to feel me up even when we were both sleeping. “What are you doing?” Jisung asked when I tightened my fingers around his wrist, loudly protesting when he squeezed my breast in return.

“It’s too early for that,” I whined, especially when he started to rub his hard cock against my ass.

“Just let me put it inside for five minutes,” Jisung pleaded, his other hand roaming down to tug on my panties.

“What good will that do?” I asked him, slowly wriggling away from his arms despite the show of childish outrage from my immature husband who still sometimes forgot that he was an adult.

“You’re gonna make me show up to work like this?” Jisung pouted, expression painted with his betrayal as he watched me walk around our bedroom.

“Take a cold shower,” I said, tossing a towel in his direction.

“Y/N,” Jisung said. “Let’s think about the practicalities of the situation. We haven’t had sex in a week and my dick feels like it might fall off at any moment.”

“And if we look at this situation scientifically,” I added. “I doubt your dick will fall off because that’s assuredly impossible.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Jisung asked in an exaggerated fashion, burying his face into our nicest set of pillows.

“Because I’m meeting Seungmin and Jeongin for lunch and you have a field trip to chaperone. Plus, I don’t want to listen to Changbin complain to me on the phone tonight when you show up to work late again.”

“Seungmin and Jeongin are more important than me?”

“Lunch is more important than you,” I corrected him with a smirk, reaching for my bag. “Have a nice day at work, babe.”

“No kiss goodbye?” Jisung questioned even as the door to our bedroom shut soundly behind me.

Being amongst the youngest, me, Seungmin, and Jeongin frequently made a habit of eating lunch together on Saturday afternoons. It was a traditional affair, primarily allowing the three of us to gossip about the others without fear of reprimand. And ever since our Freshman year writing lecture, we’ve enjoyed greasy fast food while commenting on everything from Chan and Changbin’s sudden obsession with the gym to our theories that Minho was secretly married to a rich aristocrat who supplied him with the endless amount of money he spent on his cats.

“Hey!” Jeongin protested when I reached over to steal a piece of his steak.

“It looks better than mine,” I attempted to justify, speaking over a mouthful of food which my mother would normally offer criticism.

“Felix has been acting weird lately,” Seungmin randomly commented, a frown confusing his features as he scrolled through his phone.

I chewed the stolen beef before asking, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, he only ever gets like this when she’s back in town.”

I let out a heavy exhale, understanding exactly why Seungmin was concerned. “How long?”

“A week or so,” Seungmin said. “He never comes out with us anymore.”

“Does Changbin know?” I asked, sliding my plate aside in exchange for this piece of juicy gossip.

Changbin’s sister, better known as the object of Felix’s most intimate desires, has managed to whole-heartedly capture Felix in some sort of deadly trance. My step-brother, notoriously known for being a playboy in college, became whipped around Changbin’s sister, following her around like a lost puppy begging for attention. “Of course he does,” Seungmin replied. “But he says that Kara hasn’t tried to contact Felix at all.”

“Obviously,” I snorted. “Changbin thinks Kara is the epitome of perfection. His little sister can’t possibly do wrong in his eyes.”

“I think Felix shares his opinion,” Jeongin commented, trying to sound perfectly serious while he sipped on his chocolate milk.

“We’re having a family dinner tomorrow night,” I said with a sigh. “It’s a good opportunity to interrogate my step-brother.”

“Please, Y/N,” Seungmin said, eyes round and soft. “Felix always tells you everything.”

“And you can immediately tell us in the group chat,” Jeongin chirped happily.

“Of course!” I agreed, reaching over to ruffle Jeongin’s hair until my phone abruptly started ringing. “Yes, Hyunjin?” I sighed into the other end.

“Y/N! We have an emergency!”

I rolled my eyes at his theatrics. “It can’t be that bad.”

“We don’t have straws! I repeat, the cafe has no straws and people are asking for straws, Y/N.”

“Jesus, Hyunjin,” I groaned. “Just go next door and buy some straws.”

“Y/N,” Hyujin huffed impatiently. “There is a bigger problem here and you don’t even realize! That kid you hired last week? I think he’s out to sabotage the cafe. I put him in charge of ordering supplies and guess what isn’t supplied?”

“The damn straws,” I muttered, suddenly having a million regrets for agreeing to open the cafe with Hyunjin in the first place.

“Now you finally understand.”

I carefully lowered the phone from my ear, cupping the receiver to look at Seungmin. “Do you mind coming with me to the cafe? I’m supposed to have the day off but Hyunjin’s losing his shit over straws.”

“Sounds like Hyunjin,” Seungmin smirked. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Hyujin,” I repeated into the phone. “Please don’t scream at that poor kid, I’ll be there in five minutes.”

The cafe was originally supposed to be an independent endeavor until Hwang Hyunjin found out about my plans and demanded some sort of involvement. Despite our friendship, I was still hesitant to consider Hyunjin as a business partner, especially considering his performances in the lectures we shared in college. Hyunjin was the type of student to arrive to class five minutes before the professor, desperation clinging to him persistently while he begged me to explain the homework assignment. Nevertheless, Hyunjin somehow graduated from the business school at the same time as I did, albeit without the honor’s recognition, proving himself despite the doubts of nearly everyone in our friend circle with the exception of Jisung who always managed to see the good in everyone.

Shortly after graduation, Hyunjin and I took out a small loan from the bank to open our cafe in a very strategic location close to a nearby university. From the beginning, I had primarily handled the more elaborate side of our business ranging from accounting and point of sales to ordering supplies and handling employees. Hyunjin, on the other hand, took care of the creative aspects including designing what he deemed an “elegant” menu while also trying out new recipes that our mostly college-aged clientele greatly enjoyed in the form of free samples.

“Y/N!” Hyujin gasped as soon as I walked in the door with Seungmin and Jeongin. “Well?”

I held up a grocery bag full of the straws I had just purchased. “It’s fine, Hyunjin.”

“It’s not fine,” Hyunjin protested, walking over to yank the bag free from my grasp. “I’ll have you know that one of our usual customers left us 4 instead of 5 stars for satisfaction.”

“What will we do?” I deadpanned. “Where’s the new kid? Did you scold him thoroughly?”

“Of course I did,” Hyunjin said, pointing to the kitchen. “I sent him to wash dishes.”

“He’s a cashier.”

“It’s punishment, Y/N,” Hyunjin said. “We can’t have him thinking he can get away with potentially damaging our public image.”

“These kids will still get their morning coffee,” I said. “They don’t care if we’re out of straws as long as they have somewhere to loiter around all day to finish their essays.”

“That’s another thing,” Hyunjin said. “I think we definitely need a bigger place and I know the owner next door said something about moving out.”

“Renovations are expensive,” I said. “And you don’t know if the landlord would be okay with us tearing out the wall to expand.”

“What if I found out?”

“Talk to Seungmin instead,” I suggested, tugging the younger boy forward. “I’ll see about this new guy you’ve decided to torture.”

“Punishment, Y/N!”

I rolled my eyes because I was still frustrated that I had to come into the cafe because of the worst excuse for an emergency in the history of mankind. But what else did I expect from Hyunjin? “Remember to breathe, Y/N,” I whispered to myself.

Back in the kitchen, our newest employee, donned in his decorative jacket courtesy of Hyunjin’s obsession with bright uniforms, was currently bent over the sink with thick gloves pulled up to his elbows. I felt bad for the guy because it was obvious that he wasn’t used to doing something like this. “Hey, kid,” I said, surprising the younger boy who immediately dropped one of the cups back into the sudsy water. “You don’t have to do that anymore.”

“I-I don’t mind,” he stuttered, eyes wide as he held tightly to a sponge.

“It’s not your job,” I insisted, carefully taking the sponge from him like he was a deer that might dart away at any sudden movement. “I’m sorry Hyunjin told you to come back here. To be honest, he was probably trying to avoid this work himself.”

“But I messed up the order,” he said, hanging his head. “It’s my fault.”

“Not it’s not and don’t let Hyunjin tell you otherwise,” I said. “Next time, call me if you’re having trouble with the order.”

I reached into my bag to pull out my business card, holding it out for his reluctant hand which was still slightly damp from his unexpected dish duty. “You’re not mad?” he asked reluctantly.

“No way,” I reassured him. “I used to work during college too, you know. I kinda get it, kid, so don’t worry about anything.”

His smile was sincere, looking at my card like it was the key to the world. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Get back on register,” I encouraged him. “That’s what I hired you for, and next time Hyunjin gives you any shit, you just let me know.”

He nodded enthusiastically, vacating the kitchen as if he was actually thrilled by the idea of returning to the register. I knew all was well when I could hear Hyunjin’s shrill voice from the other room: “Y/N!”

Jisung managed to beat me home and I walked inside to find my husband laid out on the couch with a glass of orange juice in one hand. “Headache,” Jisung pouted at me.

“Take some Advil,” I said with a smirk, ignoring the way his hands reached out for me in exchange for the possibility of a snack from the kitchen.

“Y/N!” I heard him groan my name.

“Sungie,” I returned his call. “I hope this isn’t some sort of elaborate set-up because we have dinner with my mother tomorrow night.”

Jisung was silent in the next room and I shook my head while dumping a sample of chips into one of our plastic bowls. I came back out into the living room to find Jisung rolled over onto his stomach, face buried into the cushions of our sectional. “Baby,” I cooed, trying to lure him out from his hiding place.

“I forgot about the dinner,” Jisung said, voice muffled against the furniture.

“I figured that,” I said, somewhat sympathetic to his plight. For as long as I could remember, Jisung had always feared our family dinners mainly because my mother had a personal vendetta against him. Ever since he first stepped foot on the porch wearing a rented suit for Junior year prom, my mother had deemed him unworthy of my time. Her feelings only worsened when she found out that Jisung was majoring in elementary education. “A teacher, Y/N! That boy isn’t going to be able to support the two of you!”

Subsequently, every visit to my mother’s house meant that Jisung had to listen to my mother read statistics on how poor and destitute teachers were in the city. Meanwhile, Felix also received the same treatment from his father who was absolutely horrified when he found out that his youngest son wanted to open a dance studio with Minho. It didn’t help that my step-father loathed Minho because he found him and Felix in the back of Minho’s corvette smoking enough weed to satisfy the entirety of our high school.

It was a complete contradiction because while Jisung and Felix were constantly reprimanded, Chan and I were bathed in compliments and adoration. “Channie,” my mother would smile. “How are your cases?” Chan was some kind of small claims lawyer in the upper Bronx which meant he made enough money to buy a Rolex for every day of the week while driving an expensive Tesla.

“And Y/N,” my mother would address me. “How’s the cafe?”

“We always do well around Finals season,” I told her.

“That’s wonderful darling!” she would always say while glaring in Jisung’s direction who would visibly falter under my mother’s judgemental stare. “How are your...kids, Jisung?”

“They’re great,” Jisung would laugh nervously. “I had to stop one of them from eating a bottle of glue the other day.”

I would laugh and affectionately run my fingers through Jisung’s hair while my mother remained statuesque-still. “How amusing.”

The pattern persisted to this day and I knew Jisung tolerated the dinners for my sake, but he always protested in different ways. For example, last month Jisung agreed to babysit our neighbor’s Pomeranian because he thought I might allow him to stay at home. And I almost let him get away with his impromptu plans when I remembered that Jisung would have to make dinner on his own and I was horrified by the idea of Han Jisung anywhere near my kitchen.

“Tell your mother I’m dying,” Jisung said, pulling me from my thoughts. “That should make her happy.”

“Han Jisung,” I scolded him, reaching down to gently massage his leg. “I’m not leaving you home alone. You’re prone to more kitchen fires than anyone else I’ve ever seen.”

“I’ll order takeout,” Jisung said, kicking his foot out against my thigh.

“If you’re gonna act like a child, then I’ll have to treat you like one,” I said, giving his ass a firm smack before rising from the sectional.

Jisung jolted at the unexpected contact, raising his head to briefly consider me. “What was that?”

“Do you not want to play?” I returned, grinning when Jisung immediately sat upright from his position on the sofa, leaning forward in expectation. “Does this mean what I think it does?”

“Perhaps if you decide to stop being so stubborn about the dinner,” I said, dropping to my knees in front of him.

Jisung’s eyes grew wide with lust, hands reaching out to pull my head closer to his crotch. “I’ll go to as many dinners as you want, babe.”

“That’s better,” I smirked, efficiently undoing his belt. “It’s only for a few hours.”

Jisung was ecstatic, pulling down his jeans and underwear. “I’ll just sit with Felix in the dining room alone.”

“Is that so?” I asked, curling my fingers around his hardening cock.

Jisung nodded, hair falling into his eyes as he watched me with rapt attention. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to him recently.”

“What a good sport,” I teased, jerking his cock a few times because I liked the way Jisung’s eyelids would flutter with his pleasure. But he was being remarkably good, so I decided he had earned an end to his apparent sexual frustrations. I took in the tip of his cock, running my tongue along the slit dripping with milky white pre-cum.

“Please,” Jisung begged, grip unrelenting on my hair as he encouraged me to swallow more of his cock, slowly taking him in until I could feel him at the back of my throat. “Can I do it?” Jisung asked with desperate eyes and I nodded once, giving him the permission he desired to move my head up and down the length of his erection, warm and rigid against my tongue. I made sure to moan around him because I knew the resulting vibrations felt really good, enjoying the sounds of Jisung’s grunts as he fucked my mouth.

While Jisung did a majority of the work, I tried to amplify his pleasure when I could like running my tongue along the prominent vein on his cock or using my teeth to drag against the fleshy part of him. My fingernails dug into his thighs, leaving behind marks that would probably vanish after a warm shower. Tears were steadily streaking down my cheeks courtesy of an instinctual reaction to Jisung’s cock repeatedly sliding in and out, hollowing my cheeks to accommodate him. “It feels so good,” Jisung said, palms clammy as one hand came to fan against my cheek, wiping away the smeared streaks of my mascara.

Throughout our years together, I had learned a lot about Jisung including his apparent oral fixation when it came to sex. Jisung loved when I gave him a blowjob as I discovered for the very first time locked away in the Janitor’s closet, tasting Jisung on my tongue for a few seconds before he was cumming down my throat, apologizing incessantly for not being able to last longer. As if I really cared because I was quite proud of myself for breaking him down so quickly. But as much as Jisung liked to receive, he also loved to give and feeling his tongue on my pussy was a guilty pleasure, watching Jisung eat me out like he belonged between my thighs.

“Cumming,” Jisung warned me, grip tightening as his hips stuttered, pubic hair brushing against my nose while the bitter taste of his cum was swallowed down with effort because my throat was now incredibly sore.

Jisung fell back against the couch, fingers pushing my hair back from where it had fallen messily into my face. I shakily climbed into his lap, kissing him greedily because there was no better sight than Jisung completely spent after a good orgasm, especially when it was because of me. “Is that better, baby?” I asked, pecking him on the nose.

“I love you,” post-orgasm Jisung told me entreatingly, eyes swimming with tears as he proceeded to plant dozens of soft kisses against the exposed skin of my collarbones.

Jisung pulled into the driveway of my mother’s house with a morbid expression. “It’s not too late to cancel, right?”

I ignored his comment, opening the door to step out into the bitterly cold evening. “Babe, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

“No need to pretend,” Jisung grumbled, reluctantly following me to the porch where I hit the doorbell, smoothing down my skirt because my mother always liked it when we dressed up for these dinners.

But the last thing I expected to see on the other side of the door was Kara, especially a version of Kara dressed in an appropriately sized skirt. “Y/N!”

I’m sure my expression of shock matched the one present on my husband’s face as we both took in the sight of Changbin’s little sister. “Kara?” I questioned stupidly, holding tighter to Jisung’s sweater because I needed something to ground me in the reality of this unanticipated situation.

“You guys look great!” she declared. “Come inside!”

“Of course,” I said softly, pulling Jisung behind me as I stepped into the foyer, shrugging off my coat which Kara took from me to hang in the closet like she had been doing it for years.

“Y/N!” my mother squealed, interrupting the unanswered “why are you here?” hanging between the three of us.

“Mom,” I said, accepting her hug with a wince because my mother was never gentle in her affections.

“And Jisung,” my mother frowned, eyeing my husband up and down. “What the hell are you wearing.”

Jisung looked down at his corduroy pants which I had warned him repeatedly to destroy. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Oh nevermind with you,” my mother said dismissively, reaching out for Kara. “Look, Y/N, Felix brought home a very nice friend. Are the two of you acquainted?”

“She’s Changbin’s sister,” I told my mother. “Why would I not know her?”

“Oh don’t give me that attitude,” my mother said. “Kara was just telling me about the marketing firm she works for! Isn’t that impressive?”

“My brother’s jealous,” Kara said. “He’s stuck working with kids all day, isn’t that the worst?”

My mother giggled at Kara’s comment while I reached behind me to give Jisung’s hand a reassuring squeeze. I didn’t even need to see my husband’s face to know that he would be fuming over Kara’s words. “I think you can do Felix some good too,” my mother said, now leading Kara towards the kitchen. “That boy is an absolute mess sometimes.”

I found Chan in the living room, eating his way through most of my mother’s groceries. “Channie,” I said, hurrying Jisung along despite the way his feet drug against the carpet. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Chan barely glanced up from his food. “What is it?”

“In private?”

Chan offered me a blank look to which I grabbed his hand, forcing him to the opposite side of the room and away from any potential eavesdroppers. “Why the hell is Kara here?”

“Beats me,” Chan shrugged. “Felix said they’re just friends.”

“Just friends my ass!” I hissed at him. “Chan, you know how stupid Felix gets around her! Since when has Felix brought any of his ‘friends’ to one of these dinners?”

“I don’t want to get involved, Y/N,” Chan said. “It’s really none of our business.”

“But does Changbin know she’s here?”

Chan shrugged helplessly. “How should I know? I don’t see Changbin much these days.”

“Ah, you’re useless,” I declared. “There’s a potentially catastrophic disaster unfolding right in front of your eyes and yet food is more concerning to you.”

“Of course it is,” Chan nodded solemnly. “Why do you think I sacrifice a Sunday night at home to drive an hour over here?”

“What a good son you are,” I said, pinching one of his cheeks. “I’m sure your father would be pleased to hear that.”

“Y/N, I seriously don’t know anything about Felix and Kara,” Chan said, smacking my hand away.

“Listen to me, Chan-”

I broke off when my mother suddenly entered the room with Kara on her heels, holding out a tray of cheese and crackers. “Appetizers!” my mother exclaimed, immediately chastising Jisung when he accidentally dropped one on my mother’s coffee table.

“Leave it alone,” Chan warned me, sparing me no further attention as he joined the others in the living room. I followed him to the couch where I planted myself between my step-brother and Jisung, eyeing Kara suspiciously as she sat herself directly on Felix’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck.

“I think your mother likes me the least tonight,” Jisung whispered anxiously into my ear.

“That’s because Felix has something shiny and new for her to mess with,” I said, patting his thigh soothingly.

“Everyone, help yourselves!” my mother announced, ushering my step-father into the room with a glass of wine in hand.

I handed Jisung a plate. “Do me a favor and keep the food where it belongs.”

Jisung pouted at me. “You act like I’m clumsy on purpose.”

“I don’t need to feed you, do I?” I asked him, ignoring the way he reached down to pinch my waist in warning.

The remainder of our dinner progressed slowly, more so than usual because my mother seemed to have hundreds of questions for Kara. In fact, as opposed to Jisung and Felix being the objects of my mother’s contempt, that title seemed to belong to everyone excluding Kara. Chan and I were rarely spoken to, and Jisung was only addressed when my mother complained that he was chewing too loudly. “Do you see my son-in-law?” she complained to Kara like they were old friends. “He’s never had good table manners.”

I held tightly to Jisung’s hand when I felt him tense next to me. “Jisung’s always been that way,” Kara replied with far too much affection for my liking.

Her comment forced me to recall the very first time I ever met Kara back during my third year of high school. She was a year younger than Jeongin, so she came into our high school as a shy Freshman with only Changbin as an ally. And Changbin loved to brag about how smart his sister was, claiming that she didn’t even need to study because she could memorize everything the teacher said in class. But Changbin hadn’t been exaggerating and I had been slightly jealous of Kara’s easygoing nature, seamlessly inserting herself into our lives as if she had always belonged there. The truth of the matter was that Kara had been attending a private school for most of her life because of her higher intelligence. The school was located hours away from where we lived so we never saw Kara except in brief passing when she came home on the weekends. However, Kara insisted that she wanted a normal high school life, so she enrolled at our local public institution with the goal of making new friends and getting a taste of what her brother always talked about in their long phone conversations.

At first, Kara stuck tightly to Changbin’s side, but it didn’t take long for her to open up to the rest of our group, including Felix whose crush started the moment Kara first walked through the doors. My poor step-brother was enamored, jealous when Kara would start dating some of the older Seniors. Of course, it didn’t help that Changbin remained adamant that Kara never dated any of his friends because they were, in his words, completely unworthy. So, with the exception of the unfortunate incident of Junior prom, Kara obeyed her brother and only showed the other guys affection in the form of a pat on the head or a gentle shove when they said something funny.

By the time I graduated with Hyunjin, Seungmin, Felix, and Jisung, Kara had become another pillar in our dynamic, even appealing to the older ones like Chan and Minho. Yet, when Jeongin finally entered university with the rest of us, something changed with Kara and she no longer hung out with us as much as she had before. Then, there was the matter of her attending college in an entirely different state, only coming to visit sporadically when Felix would bend over backward to make sure she attended one of his fraternity parties. By the time I graduated from college, Kara was more or less nothing but a distant memory, only coming into fruition on rare occasions. Thus, seeing her here today was definitely disorienting, especially since it was only because of Felix that she was here in the first place.

“Kara, you’re such a wonderful girl,” my mother said. “I can’t believe we haven’t met before.”

I rolled my eyes because my mother seemed to forget my Junior year of high school almost as much as I did. “You’ve been such a gracious host,” Kara said to my mother.

“It’s getting late,” my mother sighed, glancing at my step-father who was moments away from passing out on the couch. “We should get to bed, but the rest of you are more than welcome to stay and chat. I know I took up a lot of the conversation.”

“That’s an understatement,” Jisung muttered.

“Anyways, I’ll call you later on this week, Y/N,” my mother said, offering me a lazy wave before collecting Kara into one of the tightest embraces I had ever seen.

Once my mother and step-father had wandered up the steps, Kara came back into the room with mischievous eyes. “Let’s play a game,” Kara suggested, urging us all around the coffee table. I groaned when Jisung pulled me back into his arms, burying his face into the side of my neck like he was prone to do when he was the slightest bit tipsy.

“No more alcohol for you,” I said, swiping the bottle away from my husband who protested half-heartedly.

“What do you suggest?” Felix asked, looking at Kara with starstruck eyes.

“Maybe truth or dare?” Kara said, squealing like she had forgotten that everyone around the table now had a full-time job.

“Why not,” Felix said, reaching for his discarded bottle of Corona. “Would you like to go first?”

Kara giggled when Felix leaned in closer, lips teasing her exposed collarbones. “Keep it PG,” I requested, glaring at Felix.

“Okay,” Kara said, taking the bottle and placing it onto the table.

“If someone can dare me to get laid, that would be nice,” Jisung said and I reached around to elbow my husband in the side for his smart comment.

I watched as the bottle spun around in its defined circumference before landing on Chan who groaned loudly. “Truth or Dare, Chan!”

“Truth,” Chan said, picking up his bottle of beer. “Knowing you’d guys, I’d be forced to drink the rest of this on a dare and I have to be at the office at six.”

“Are you seeing anyone, Chan?” Kara asked, leaning in close like she was about to hear a juicy secret. Of course, I knew better than anyone because I was often the recipient of Chan’s late-night phone calls when my step-brother would complain to me about his sadly lacking love life.

“No,” Chan huffed, reaching out to give the bottle a powerful spin. “I’m always single.”

I reached across to pat him tenderly on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, Channie, there’s a girl out there waiting for you!”

Felix let out a drunken squeak, turning to look at Kara with a smile. “Truth or dare, Felix?”

“Dare,” Felix said, bouncing up and down from his spot on the floor like a loose spring.

“I dare you to...

“...call Changbin,” I spoke over Kara, enjoying the identical looks of matching horror on their countenances.

“What?” Felix questioned, intoxicated brain undoubtedly having trouble keeping up with the flow of our conversation.

“Call. Changbin.” I repeated, much slower this time to leave no room for a potential misunderstanding. Unsurprisingly, Kara hesitantly shook her head at Felix as if asking him to ignore my request. “Those are the rules,” I informed her smugly, watching Felix as he took out his phone with a shaky hand. He dialed Changbin’s number and we all sat forward in profound expectation of what was about to happen.

That is until Changbin’s voicemail picked up.

Kara snatched Felix’s phone and quickly hung up the call. “He’s not answering, so let’s move on to something else.”

I frowned as I sat back against Jisung’s chest, frustrated because Changbin had probably chosen an early night’s sleep in exchange for answering a friend’s important phone call. “Truth or Dare, Y/N.”

“Truth,” I muttered, folding my arms across my chest even as Jisung started to rub gentle circles into my hips as if picking up on my irritation.

Kara’s eyes narrowed. “Were you jealous when I kissed Jisung at prom?”

The room was dead silent following her vengeful question. My cheeks flushed at the reminder, feeling Jisung squirm uncomfortably behind me. It was a horrible thing to ask me, especially considering the circumstances surrounding the unholy night that Minho had silently termed “the worst day of Y/N’s life.” But I suppose that Kara felt warranted to ask me considering the fact that I had just tried to expose her to Changbin. “Of course I was,” I snapped at her, twisting the bottle while maintaining a penetrative staring contest with Felix’s love interest.

My shoulders relaxed when the bottle landed on Kara, and I quickly intervened before Felix could give Kara an easy way out of what was rapidly becoming a terrible mistake. “Are you dating Felix again?” I asked, watching as her eyes narrowed from my choice of words.

“It’s truth or dare, Y/N.”

“Are you afraid to answer the question?” I asked her. “Or are you just using Felix like always?”

Another long silence enveloped our gathered group.

“I guess I don’t get a turn?” Jisung whispered into the tense silence of the room.

“Holy shit!” Hyunjin exhaled when I finally finished explaining everything that had happened at my mother’s house the previous evening.

“She’s a total bitch,” I said. “Everyone knows that we don’t talk about that night.”

Hyunjin nodded in agreement. “Do you remember the ugly suit I wore?”

I glared at my friend. “You’re not helping and we have customers.”

Hyunjin offered me a salute, returning to the register to accept another order while I aggressively wiped down our counters. One of our waitresses watched me with a gaping mouth until I turned to glare at her. She quickly picked up her tray to retreat back into the crowd of college students.

Now, let me start by saying that Junior year prom was never something I was looking forward to attending. The only reason I even went was because Han Jisung asked me to go and my attraction for him had skyrocketed by this time, to the point where I found myself staring at his ass whenever we had gym together and he decided to demonstrate the correct technique for a pull-up. Our friends deemed our relationship inevitable, the romanticized soulmates who met as kids and grew up together with agreeable personalities. Of course, it also helped when puberty hit and suddenly Han Jisung looked less like the little boy I played with on the playground and more like a man whose dick I really wanted to taste.

For a lot of my classmates, Prom meant an unsanctioned night away from the school where they could lose their inhibitions when someone inevitably spiked the punch bowl. There were no school officials present at the event, only volunteers, and since it didn’t take place on school grounds (but inside of a nearby YMCA) everyone could basically do whatever they wanted without consequence. Thus, the next day’s rumor mill was spinning with tales of romance and deceptions, break-ups and hook-ups, and even the occasional wild story of someone stealing from the radio store next door.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Jisung asked me nervously the moment we first walked inside.

“Sure,” I told him, affectionately adjusting the cute bowtie he had chosen for the occasion, cheeks rosy red as he hurried away.

“Y/N!” Hyunjin said, taking Jisung’s place in front of me. “You look great!”

“So do you,” I told him honestly, appraising his suit which likely cost a thousand dollars just to rent for this one occasion. “Where’s your girl?”

“Who knows, she was just meant to be arm candy,” Hyunjin said dismissively and I snorted at his explanation. “I only came here for the drama and the alcohol.”

“Anything interesting so far?” I asked, grinning when I saw Jisung accidentally knock the punch ladle into the floor.

“Changbin came with a Freshman,” Hyunjin said. “I talked to them earlier and he’s definitely only interested in her ass.”

“How crude,” I remarked. “What about the others?”

“I guess Seungmin and Jeongin came with each other,” Hyunjin snickered. “And I haven’t seen Felix yet.”

I paused. “Felix is coming?”

“It was a last-minute thing,” Hyunjin explained. “Apparently, Felix is bringing someone he really likes.”

“I didn’t know Felix was interested in anyone,” I said, with the exception of Changbin’s little sister, of course.

“It’s getting late,” Hyunjin remarked. “He might have been lying.”

“He wasn’t dressed when I left the house,” I said, remembering the sight of my step-brother teasing Jisung and I from behind our parents while they took an endless amount of pictures while relentlessly questioning Jisung about his appearance.

Speaking of which, I graciously accepted the punch Jisung offered me, taking a sip before wincing. “I think someone added way too much.”

Hyunjin reached for my drink, sniffing the rim before downing the rest. “Not too bad.”

Jisung watched him with wide eyes. “Isn’t that strong?”

“Not strong enough,” Hyunjin complained. “I’m going to find something better. Have fun you two, make sure you use a condom if you’re gonna fuck.”

I glared at Hyunjin’s back as he disappeared into the crowd.

Yes, Prom might not have been high on my list of priorities, but the way Jisung was currently kissing me definitely made it more appealing. After ingesting an appropriate amount of alcohol, a tipsy Jisung had latched himself to my side, whispering rather inappropriate things into my ear before I inevitably found a place where we could be alone, safely tucked away inside the locker room. I drug Jisung to a bench where I immediately straddled his thighs, kissing him with enough force to throw him off balance, hand splayed across my hip as he forced his tongue inside my mouth tasting strongly of alcohol. I struggled to pull in enough oxygen to counter the dizziness threatening to send me falling into the floor. Jisung certainly wasn’t helping matters, squeezing my breasts spilling over the neckline of my dress while pressing sloppy kisses to my throat, erection hard through his dress pants and I had never felt hornier in my entire life. And that includes the time Minho bought me a vibrator for my birthday as a joke but I still tried to use it and ended up masturbating to the thought of Jisung fucking me on my mattress.

“You feel so good,” Jisung whispered to me now, rolling his hips into mine as he sought additional friction. I held tightly to the lapels of his jacket because it felt really nice through the thin fabric of my dress when he would move just right, pressing against my clit with a wonderful pressure that nearly made me cum before he could even put it inside.

“Sungie,” I panted into his ear, tasting every inch of his beautiful honey-golden skin. “Please fuck me.”

“Can I?” Jisung asked, thrusts growing erratic as if affected by just the thought of his cock hot and heavy between my thighs. “Yes, of course, baby. I’ll do that for you.”

“Condom?” I managed, reconnecting our lips because I was quickly coming to the realization that Jisung was a wonderful kisser.

“Shit,” he cursed against my mouth. “I left them in the car.”

“I’ll get them,” I said, reaching deep into the pocket of his suit pants for the key, inadvertently brushing against his cock.

Jisung moaned loudly. “Hurry back, baby.”

“And this!” I said, standing up from his lap to reach into my cleavage to pull out a piece of fabric.

“That was in there the whole time?”

“Not important,” I said, shoving the fabric at him. “Put this on?”

“What is it?” Jisung asked, unraveling the cloth.

“A blindfold,” I said and he looked up at me with evident surprise.

“Why do you want me to wear a blindfold?”

“Just put it on, please,” I begged him.

“Why?” Jisung whined, a complete contradiction to the mess he looked with an erection still prominent in his pants.

“I don’t want you to see me,” I said, blushing at the thought of Han Jisung seeing me naked because I was certainly nothing like those busty girls in the porn magazines I found under his mattress.

“Okay,” Jisung grumbled, probably because he was just as aroused as I was even if that meant doing something that might seem utterly ridiculous to anybody else.

“Don’t take it off,” I warned him, glancing over my shoulder to see Jisung tying the blindfold in place.

Satisfied, I silently rushed back into the gym, making my way to the exit despite the obscene displays taking place all around me courtesy of several pairings of passionate couples. I did my best to ignore them, even though I was pretty sure I saw Hwang Hyunjin in the center of the dance floor, shirt unbuttoned and chest exposed for everyone to see. But Hyunjin loved to be at the center of attention, so I left him to entertain the majority of the women flanking to him like a magnet while I jerked open the door to Jisung’s Sudan, finding the condoms across the dirty backseat of his car.

I grew even more excited just by looking at them, hiding them carefully in my hand as I rushed through the parking lot in my haste to find Jisung again. At this point, the party was in full swing, music loud and pounding, testing the acoustics of the YMCA which probably never hosted anything else this insane and chaotic before. But I was on cloud nine, ready to finally have sex with someone I had been crushing on ever since Jisung had shown off his abs to a doubtful Changbin. However, when I re-opened the doors to the locker room, I stumbled in my heels as I was greeted with an unfortunate visual. An unforgettable image of Kara on top of Jisung, kissing him passionately while she practically forced him to grope her chest. “Y/N,” Jisung moaned, apparently completely unaware of who was actually grinding on his dick.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing,” I finally shrieked, completely horrified at the display that would forever engrain itself into my subconscious.

Jisung immediately pulled off his blindfold, eyes widening in shock when he unceremoniously dumped Kara into the floor who loudly protested. “Y/N?”

“Jisung,” I said, looking back between him and Kara with panicked eyes and a broken heart. I had never felt so betrayed before in my entire life, and there had been moments when I felt downright disgusted with my poor choice in men. But Jisung was more important to me than the casual flings from my past, which probably explains my sudden desire to escape the situation that was forcing messy tears through the mascara clumping my eyelashes together. I left Jisung behind in that nasty locker room before losing myself to the crowd of my classmates.

There was only one person I wanted to see, and I found Hyunjin now re-clothed, talking to some other girls when he first saw me approach. He greeted me cheerfully, only realizing my condition once he stopped to notice the tears falling freely from my tired eyes. “Y/N,” Hyunjin said, expression falling as he pulled me into his arms tightly. “Why are you crying?”

“I saw her with Jisung,” was all I managed to get out before Hyunjin’s eyes were practically blazing with fury.

“That little shit,” Hyunjin cursed, grabbing my hand and leading me through the partygoers who were too busy drunkenly grinding on one another to notice the two of us. “Changbin,” Hyunjin said, interrupting the older boy who was currently fingering the edges of a freshman girl’s panties, practically dry humping through their clothes.

“What is it?” Changbin snapped at Hyunjin, eyes narrowed until they landed on me. “Y/N,” Changbin said, tone much softer as he abruptly dismissed his date who whined about their loss of contact. “What happened?”

“Jisung needs his ass kicked,” Hyunjin said and Changbin needed no further encouragement.

“Where the hell is he?”

It was frigidly cold in the parking lot and there was way too much going on around me. I could barely handle the yelling between Changbin and Felix, my step-brother having found us outside with Jisung trailing behind him, but Hyunjin was arguing with Seungmin and Jeongin, refusing to let Jisung close to me. This night was rapidly becoming one of the worst of my entire life and that says a lot because I had once watched my own father walk out of the house without so much as a goodbye.

“Get out of the way, Felix,” Changbin suddenly growled, fists balled at his sides.

“It’s not his fault,” Felix tried to explain.

“Why is Y/N upset, then?” Changbin demanded, shouldering his way through Seungmin and Jeongin who were certainly no match for a physically stronger Changbin.

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Felix said. “It’s Kara’s fault! She didn’t need to take things that far-”

“Kara!” Changbin interrupted, now even more furious than he was before. “Did you do something to my sister?”

“Not him,” Seungmin suddenly interfered. “Kara and Felix got into a fight and Kara snuck into the locker room to get back at him.”

Changbin took a step back, suspicion bright in his dark eyes. “What did you say?”

“I thought it was Y/N,” Jisung finally spoke up, eyes wet with tears. “She didn’t say anything to me. She just came over and I was waiting for Y/N!”

“What happened to my sister!” Changbin growled.

“She kissed me,” Jisung said, flinching a little when Changbin tried to charge at him, intercepted by Seungmin and Jeongin who held him back by his with as much force as they could manage together. Jisung turned to look at me, gaze entreating as he reached out a hand. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought it was you.”

I shook my head, refusing to even look at Han Jisung because my heart was hurting in my chest and the night just continued to grow more and more confusing. “I’ll take care of Y/N,” Hyunjin finally said, sending Jisung a nasty glare before guiding me further and further away from the source of my pain.

But don’t ever let anyone tell you that Seo Changbin didn’t have a soft spot for Han Jisung because, at the drop of a hat, the older boy would immediately be at my husband’s side. And I thoroughly took advantage of this when I asked Jisung to invite Changbin over to our house for dinner one night, the two of them arriving together with Changbin clutching tightly to his sleeping bag. “I guess you’re spending the night,” I remarked.

“Why wouldn’t I? We work at the same place,” came Changbin’s usual response, tossing his bag onto the couch while he followed Jisung into our bedroom, complaining about something to do with the air conditioning. “Your apartment is so much nicer than mine!”

I finished cooking in relative peace, making sure to keep Changbin’s wine glass constantly full because a tipsy Changbin was much easier to deal with than the serious version who would likely explode when he heard my story. “So nice of you Y/N,” Changbin said as he slurped his spaghetti. He and Jisung were always messy when it came to pasta so I tried to ignore their nasty habits.

“Changbin,” I said, studying the older carefully. “I heard Kara was visiting.”

Changbin shrugged, shoving more food into his impossibly small mouth. “She’s been staying at my place.”

“Really?” I asked. “Why haven’t we had a chance to meet her again.”

Changbin glanced up at me. “You don’t even like, Kara, so why would I bother?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “She’s your sister, of course, I would be interested.”

“She stays busy a lot,” Changbin said.

“With who?”

“With work,” Changbin said, taking another long drink of the expensive wine I bought just for this occasion.

“She could have come tonight,” I said carefully, but I had been apparently pushing too far because now Changbin was suspicious.

“What are you getting at, Y/N?”

I took a deep breath, sensing Jisung watching the two of us over a mouthful of noodles. “I saw Kara the other day at my mother’s dinner.”

Changbin paused, considering me with a scowl. “What?”

“She came to our dinner,” I repeated. “With Felix.”

And with the exception of Jisung’s chewing, the room had grown relatively silent. “Why am I just now hearing about this?”

Changbin turned an accusatory gaze at Jisung who just rapidly shook his head and drank more wine. “Probably because she didn’t want anyone to know,” I said. “I think your sister might be trying to start something with Felix again and we both know how badly that turned out last time.”

Changbin dropped his fork, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “So nice of everyone to keep me informed.”

I relaxed a little because Changbin wasn’t reacting as violently as I thought he might. “I wanted to be sure and I got the information I needed today.”

Changbin sighed. “What information?”

“Minho looked through Felix’s phone at their dance practice,” I said. “He saw some messages with Kara. Apparently, they’re going to dinner tomorrow night. Isn’t that nice?”

Changbin’s jaw clenched as he took in this news. “And I’m assuming you have something planned?”

“Maybe,” I said with an innocent shrug. “It could be that Minho, Hyunjin, and I happened to make a reservation at the same place.”

“You’re gonna spy on them?”

“Would you rather us not?”

Changbin scoffed, dark hair falling into his eyes. “Are you asking me to come?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Well of course I do,” Changbin grunted impatiently, reaching down for another forkful of spaghetti while I sat back in my chair with satisfaction.

“This is surprisingly classy of Felix,” Hyunjin remarked, rolling down the window of Minho’s SUV to perch a pair of binoculars on the end of his nose.

“Aren’t you taking this too far?” Minho asked his friend.

“These?” Hyunjin asked, adjusting the lenses. “How else am I supposed to see what’s going on?”

“This is my sister we’re talking about,” Changbin spoke up, tugging at the frayed sleeves of his borrowed jacket.

“And Y/N’s stepbrother,” Minho added.

“I don’t claim him by blood,” I said, reaching over to slap Changbin’s hands. “Stop messing with that, you’re gonna ruin it, and this is Jisung’s nicest coat!”

My husband in question had opted to stay at home since he was probably the smartest out of all of us when it came to potential confrontations. “You’re rich enough to buy him another,” Changbin grumbled.

“He doesn’t wear them,” I said. “I buy him all sorts of clothes, but they always sit in his closet.”

“Who’s he trying to impress at an Elementary school?” Hyunjin snorted.

“Can’t we just go inside already?” I asked, slowly massaging my throbbing temples.

“Yeah, but can you shimmy the lock on your door?” Minho requested. “I’m pretty sure it’s broken.”

I accommodated his request before the four of us walked into the restaurant with an air of nonchalance. Nothing but four friends since childhood deciding to eat out together for a gourmet meal. It reminded me of college when the four of us shared the same lecture, a one-time occurrence because Minho forgot a general education course, and we always ate together because it ended in the early evening.

Of course, there was always the matter of the other three using me to find the answers to our homework assignment because they didn’t feel like completing the calculations.

The hostess inside the restaurant greeted us, checking Hyunjin’s reservation before leading us to our table. “Do you see them?” Hyunjin asked, deciding not to be so discreet in the distracting way he moved his head around, surveying the restaurant landscape with a sharp eye.

“This is so stupid,” Changbin grimaced.

“Are you too cool to eat with us?” Minho joked, gasping when he noticed the free wine samples menu.

“I’ll look around,” I said. “Give me five minutes.”

“And then what?” Hyunjin asked even as I was already moving away, sticking to the outskirts of the finely decorated tables. According to Minho, Felix and Kara should have already been at the restaurant for half an hour, probably weighing the consequences of keeping their new affair a secret from the rest of us. But I had no intention of letting them sneak away with anything, determined to get to the bottom of whatever relationship Felix was attempting with Changbin’s little sister, the same person who had openly scorned and rejected Felix in the past. This really demonstrates just how powerful a crush can be when it involves someone as determined as Felix.

“Aha!” I murmured quietly, discovering the couple together near the private dining room at the back. Reaching for my cell phone, I sent Minho a quick text message, waiting for a moment or so before I could see the three boys carefully making their way to my hiding spot.

“Ridiculous,” Changbin muttered, but he let out a disappointed sigh when he saw his sister and Felix together. “I guess you were right.”

Changbin was squatting down in front of the display of plants, peeling back the branches to find a better view. “Damn, Changbin,” I said, reaching down to give his ass an appreciative slap. “Who are you trying to impress?”

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Changbin snapped at me. “It’s not my fault that Han’s flatter than his vocal pitch.”

“Burn,” Hyunjin remarked while I scoffed in response.

“Jisung is a great singer.”

“Yeah, the kids are so impressed,” Minho giggled, ignoring the glare I sent him over my shoulder.

“They can’t be dating,” Changbin said. “I would have known about this. Kara would have told me!”

“That definitely looks like a date to me,” Minho teased Changbin.

“Unless friends share five-star meals now,” Hyunjin commented, glancing at me. “Interested in eating out again tomorrow, Y/N?”

“Only if you pay,” I replied dryly, watching Felix and Kara with intent.

“I can’t stand this,” Changbin declared, attempting to blow our cover by rising to his full height.

I desperately tugged on his shirt. “They’ll see us!”

“I don’t care,” Changbin grunted, pulling away from me only to march down the staircase to where Felix and Kara were laughing together over a meal of what appeared to be filet mignon and cabernet.

“Should we watch or get involved?” I asked, grinning when Felix finally realized that Changbin had spotted them. The all-consuming look of existential dread passing across his features was well worth the price of admission, including an outrageous gratuity fee.

“Definitely watch,” Minho nodded, tossing an arm around my shoulders. “You did good, Y/N.”

“Unless Changbin causes a scene,” Hyunjin remarked.

“I hope he does because I can record it for Jisung later,” I said, letting out a satisfied grin when Changbin stopped at their table.

Minho was one step ahead of me, pressing the record button at the top of his phone. “Maybe we’ll become YouTube famous!”

“I can’t believe you told him,” Felix snapped at me later. The six of us were outside the restaurant, having decided to pull Changbin and Kara away from the reproachful eyes of the upper elite who wanted to dine in peace.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m looking out for you.”

“By outing me to Changbin?”

“Of course,” I nodded, watching as Kara received a stern lecture from her older brother. “You can’t honestly be considering a relationship with Kara?”

“Is there something wrong with that?” Felix asked.

“You must have a selective memory,” I said. “Or did you forget what happened in high school?”

“That was a long time ago!”

“She also used you during college. Don’t tell me you think she came around campus just for your company?”

Hyunjin, from somewhere to my right, let out a low whistle. Minho stood next to him, taking in the drama unfolding around him with eager eyes. “I don’t care about any of that!” Felix protested. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Felix,” I said, lowering my tone. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Well you’re doing a really bad job with that,” Felix snapped.

“It’s not because I don’t want things to work out,” I said. “I just know who she is and what she’s capable of.”

“Is that so?”

“You were too, Felix! Everything she ever did to you was always in an effort to hurt you. That’s why I have to interfere, to make sure that she doesn’t do anything like that!”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t care. You aren’t my real sister, so stop trying to act like it!”

His words were crushing and I suddenly felt equivalent to the world’s smallest person as I watched Felix walk away into the haze of city lights.

Jisung was sunshine and he once told me that he would do everything in his power to make me happy, even getting down on one knee to propose at our college graduation ceremony, nervous hands sliding a beautiful ring onto my finger. Jisung always knew when I was feeling sad or angry, dropping everything that he had been working on to make me feel better. Like in instances such as this, when my step-brother publicly disowns me, walking away without looking back once to assess the damage he had made of my fragile heart. “I deserved it,” I told Jisung, closing my eyes against his chest as I enjoyed the soothing water of the bath he prepared for me.

“No, you didn’t,” Jisung countered, wrapping his arms tightly around my middle. “You thought you were helping him.”

“I guess I have no right to interfere,” I said. “Even if I’m worried that Kara will only hurt him again.”

“And she might,” Jisung agreed. “But I think Felix can handle it. Sometimes, you forget that he’s all grown up.”

“I ruined our relationship,” I said. “Felix won’t ever talk to me again and Kara is probably mad at Changbin.”

“Felix can’t avoid you,” Jisung said. “You have the same friends.”

“Ha,” I snorted. “You don’t know Felix very well. If he sets his mind to something, then there’s nothing that can stop him.”

“Actually, I do know Felix, and that’s why I’m pretty sure he’ll call you any day now and ask to talk.”

I turned around in his arms, trying to see any hint of teasing in Jisung’s brown eyes. “Why do you think that?”

“Because Felix respects you, even if you make him mad,” Jisung said, surprising me with a gentle kiss. “He told me all the time when we were younger that he thinks you’re one of the coolest people he’s ever met.”

“Felix said that?”

“Yeah,” Jisung nodded. “And I completely agree.”

“You’re obligated to say that,” I said. “Marriage and shit.”

“But I’ve always meant it, Y/N,” Jisung insisted. “You have a really good heart and you always have our best intentions in mind, even if that means you feel the need to spy on your step-brother.”

“Now it sounds creepy,” I complained.

“I can’t imagine you dragging around Changbin, Minho, and Hyunjin, hiding behind tables in the middle of an expensive restaurant.”

“That’s funny because I can’t imagine you in an expensive restaurant at all.”

“Really?” Jisung grinned, digging his fingers into my sides. “Try saying that again.”

I squealed in his arms, pleading for mercy. “I thought you wanted to relax?”

“This was all for you,” Jisung said, pulling me onto his lap. “I think we should go to bed early.”

“I am tired,” I smirked.

His cock was hard against my lower back. “What if I let you ride my face?”

“Then you’ll be the best husband in the world.”

The following Saturday, Jisung’s prediction came true when Felix’s name flashed across my phone screen while I enjoyed lunch with Seungmin and Jeongin. “It’s Felix,” I hissed at them before taking the call. “Hello?”

“Y/N,” Felix’s deep voice greeted me on the other end. “I hope you’re not busy.”

“I’m just having lunch,” I said, waving my hand at Seungmin who was attempting to mouth imperceptible words at me from across the table.

“I want to apologize for the other night with Kara,” Felix said. “At dad’s house and at the restaurant.”

“I’m sorry too, Felix,” I said. “I shouldn’t have told Changbin about his sister.”

“No,” Felix sighed. “But Changbin deserves to know the truth. He called me the other day and told me that Kara had left the next morning. She didn’t even bother telling him where she was going.”

I felt my heartbreak for my step-brother. “I didn’t think she would do that.”

“You don’t have to be nice, Y/N,” Felix said. “Everything you said about Kara was true and I should’ve listened.”

“I never did any of that to teach you a lesson, Felix.”

“Yeah,” Felix murmured into the phone. “It doesn't matter anymore. Kara’s gone and I’ll have to move on.”

“But I still feel really bad,” I said. “Maybe we could all hang out tonight? Like we did before we had adult things to worry about.”

Felix chuckled. “I think that sounds nice.”

“Keep your hands away from the food,” I scolded Jisung, giving his ass a firm slap before directing him out of the kitchen. “This is for the party tonight!”

“But it smells good,” Jisung complained.

“You can have as much as you want later,” I said, frowning at Changbin from across the room. “Are you trying to break my mother’s vase?”

The older boy scowled at me. “I can’t reach, alright? You were the one who asked me to decorate.”

“Please help him,” I said, sending Jisung rushing to hang up the streamers before Changbin could possibly sabotage our apartment. The others were due to arrive at any moment and I was already unprepared, food still cooking and my husband and his friend proving to be completely inept at decorating. I wanted everything to be nice for Felix, but honestly? He shouldn’t expect much from this crew.

Graciously, the arrival of Hyunjin brought about an extra few inches of height, allowing the streamers to hang gracefully from the mantlepiece. “What would you do without me, Y/N?” he inquired innocently, handing me the cake he had brought from our cafe.

“I’d need to buy a step ladder,” I teased him, rushing back into the safety of the kitchen to avoid his retaliation. In the meantime, Jisung happily answered the door for our other guests, ushering them inside to crowd our living room. Sadly, our apartment was never meant to be large enough to accommodate this many guests, but it was strangely cozy with all of us together.

“It’s been a while,” Chan remarked to Changbin. “Why don’t we do this sort of thing anymore?”

“Beats me,” Changbin replied. “But Y/N has a nice selection of wine.”

“I’m glad that’s the reason you come around,” I remarked, bringing out the final tray of food to fill out the rest of the table. “Whenever Felix gets here we can eat.”

“He shouldn’t be so late,” Minho said, trying his best to sneak a cube of cheese from the corner.

“Patience my friend,” I said. “It will make everything taste so much better.”

“Not with your cooking,” Minho teased, protesting when I threw my oven mitt at him over the counter separating the kitchen from the dining room.

“You’ll never change,” I remarked.

“Why would you want me to?” Minho asked, ignoring my glare when he grabbed a handful of popcorn.

“Do you want to be suspended from my house?”

“Jisung would never allow it,” he said, whining at my husband. “Right, Sungie?”

Jisung looked back and forth between the two of us. “You two are sometimes worse than my kids at school.”

Before I could offer a compelling comeback, the ringing of our doorbell paused our conversation. The sound indicated Felix’s arrival and Seungmin was the first to greet him, holding him close as they entered the dining room. “Nice of you to join us,” I said, handing my step-brother a plate. “This is all for you.”

“I’m honored,” Felix said, accent thick as he abruptly pulled me into a vice-like grip that nearly knocked me off my feet.

“Too much,” I choked out.

“Don’t kill my wife,” Jisung joked, intervening before Felix could possibly squeeze any more oxygen from my lungs.

The remainder of the evening passed by with a nostalgic tone, the nine of us gathered together in the living room to watch anime on TV while Hyunjin complained about our newest hiree again. “Hey,” he said, snapping his fingers in my direction. “He already had two strikes. One more mess-up and he’s gone.”

“He’s just a kid, Hyunjin,” I said. “Remember when you used to work at Starbucks? I’m surprised you even managed to stay on for an entire year!”

Hyunjin protested loudly over the laughter of 8 other people who clearly remembered sitting in Starbucks on Campus just to watch Hyunjin mess-up orders while whining at the customers to slow down when he was in charge of the register. “He gave me a macchiato when I asked for an Americano,” Minho said.

“One time, Hyunjin closed the store an hour early because he forgot about our project,” Seungmin interjected much to Hyunjin’s chagrin who was now very much embarrassed.

Jisung pulled me closer to him on the chair next to the fireplace, watching our friends talk with obvious affection. “I think Felix is happy.”

I nodded my agreement, observing him from afar. “We did a good job.”

“You did a good job,” Jisung corrected, leaning in closer to whisper directly into my ear. “I love you, Y/N.”

“Love you more,” I said, gripping tightly to Jisung’s hand with no intention of ever letting go because our hold on another had never lessened from the very first day we met as kids, unaware that we would be sharing the rest of our forever together.

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #han jisung #han jisung fanfic #han jisung smut #stray kids han #han fanfic #han smut

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strawnarrries · 4 years

Text

Player - Part 3

Summary: Y/N can’t resist Niall no matter how hard she tries.

Warning(s): smut city and includes oral sex!

POV: 1st

This was NOT written by me! It was written the insanely talented Anonymous! She did the pleasure of writing a part 3 to this and honestly its better than I could’ve ever done so please please show some love to anon bc this is one of the best frat smuts I’ve ever read!!!

Part 1 Part 2

Just over a month. That’s how long it had been since Niall last used me up like he owned me, since Niall last spoke a word to me. 33 days, to be exact, but who’s counting?

I had decided, after the second time sucking his cock and letting him ruin me, that I absolutely was not going back to him. He gave me the best orgasms I’ve ever had, and to be honest, I loved being used up by him, loved worshiping him. But only in the moment. Afterward, I just felt like shit. Both times.

I’m not sure what I expected after the first encounter. I knew his reputation beforehand. But I believed he must have a heart, that he would at least talk to me after fucking my brains out. So when he completely cut me out, I had to understand why, had to get an answer.

What I got instead was another mouthful of his cock - not that I was complaining at the time.

So when he dropped me off after our second fuck, without so much as a kiss goodbye, and instead a crude comment - “Try to think about something other than my cock” - followed by a typical cocky smirk, I decided there was no way I was going back to him again. If he decided to ignore me like last time, then so be it. I would resist all temptations, no matter how unrelenting, and I would move on with my life.

So that’s how I’ve made it 33 days. A torturous, agonizing month, but at least I was building back my pride.

I know for a fact that pretty much every girl Niall fucks ends up begging him for more. I’ve heard from plenty of girls who can’t seem to shake him from their mind. He gives them the best sex of their life, but then he leaves them in the middle of the ocean without a lifeline in site. It’s not like I felt superior to the other girls in any way; I mean, I was just as hooked as they were; but I did take at least some pride in the fact that I was not feeding his ego.

It was hard, mind you. I saw him on campus a few times per week, and every time, my mind instantly started racing, my face heated up, and my body began to remember what he can do. Now and then, he’d catch me looking, and he’d give a knowing smirk, but he easily resisted approaching me. I was just another conquest, after all, and there were plenty more to come in the parade of women in and out of his bedroom.

No one could make a girl feel like he could, and he knew it. He had nothing to worry about, no one to be jealous of, which made these games easy for him. I was pretty sure that if I crawled back to him, he’d fuck me again. But no way was he was going to come to me.

So, as difficult as it was, I was successful in avoiding him. I sometimes got wet just seeing him in a tank top or flirting shamelessly with some girl; I masturbated to thoughts of him many times; I even stalked his social media in my weakest moments, but I never gave in. I refused to give in.

****

On A Sunday during spring semester, I was sitting in a comfy chair in one of the little study nooks that are dispersed throughout the college. I enjoy sitting here, as it’s usually pretty quiet and I can concentrate on studying. I had my headphones in and was focused on a video that I was taking notes from.

I dropped my pen, as I’m prone to do, and it fell on the ground in the space between the two chairs and the window behind. I stood up and then bent over the arms of the chairs, trying to reach down for the writing utensil.

I then felt something alarming, but familiar. It was very apparent that a crotch was now pushed up against my ass, but the owner of the crotch was uncertain. I most certainly did not have a boyfriend, as I had yet to meet a guy since Niall who could give me even half the physical pleasure Niall could. I had a few girl friends who might joke around like this, but, as evidenced by the prominent bulge I was feeling against my butt, this was no girl.

“Damn, I almost forgot how nice this ass was. Loved watching it move while I fucked ya from behind those times.”

The culprit was now unmistakable.

“What the hell are you doing Niall?” I snapped, turning around to face him.

I was quickly overwhelmed with his presence. He was right in my face, and I could feel the heat of his body. He was in a tank top and his biceps were bulging, and his smirk was as bright as ever. It was clear that he instantly recognized his position of power. He was well aware that he could have me in the palm of his hand if he wanted.

“What’s the problem y/n? You weren’t so shy when you were moaning my name a couple weeks ago,” Niall said, his hand resting on my hip.

I was already struggling to speak. I was trying not to make eye contact, but that meant I had to look down, and what I saw when I looked down was Niall in some workout shorts with a very noticeable bulge in the front. I held back a whimper. Honestly, it was something of a heroic act for me to not give into him that second.

“A couple weeks?” I said annoyed. “We haven’t talked in over a month Niall.”

“Oh, is that right? I guess it kind of blends together for me. I don’t always remember which girl was when, although you do stand out, y/n,” he said with that smirk plastered on his face, “And I see you’ve been thinking about me, since you know exactly how long it’s been.”

“Oh please, just because I have simple memory capabilities doesn’t me I actually care what happened between us. It meant nothing,” I said, not certain if I was convincing him or myself.

“Tell me, though,” Niall said, as he brought his body even closer to mine, now pressing against me, “What do you remember?”

He moved his free hand into my hair, and leaned down, kissing under my ear, “Do you remember my dorm room, taking it on my bed, feeling me in you for the first time? Do you remember the back of my car, moaning my name and steaming up my windows?”

The hand that was on my hip has now snaked its way under the waistband of my panties, and he’s moving it very slowly toward my sex.

“Do you remember my cock, y/n? Do you remember it filling up your mouth? Do you remember it in your throat?” he asked, making sure to kiss my throat right at that moment, “Do you remember gagging on it? Choking on it? Remember how big it is?"

I let out the smallest gasp and Niall smiled against my skin, as he continued kissing and dirty talking. His lower hand then finally reached my sex, and he felt the wetness instantly. I had no way to lie; the evidence was right there; he had me yet again.

"Oh, my, y/n, in the middle of the science building, and here you are all wet for me. Wow. You must’ve been thinking about this non-stop for … a month did you say? Musta been tough. Well let me make it a little easier for you tonight, huh?”

A finger entered me and then a second. He continued leaving light kisses on me, as his fingers moved expertly, in and out. His bulge was pressed up against my thigh. My limbs were loose at my side. I had no control; all I could do was take his assault of pleasure.

“Say thank you,” Niall goaded, continuing his actions but now staring into my eyes.

All I could muster was a few heavy breaths until finally I whimpered, “Thank you, Niall.”

He pulled his hand out and stepped away in one motion. He said, “You’re welcome” and then stuck his wet fingers in front of my mouth. I opened in a haze, and he chuckled as he pushed my own wetness into my mouth. I sucked them clean. Niall smiled big and said, “Should be easier now to get to your orgasm tonight,” then winked and turned around.

And all I could do was stare at that perfect body - his muscular back, broad shoulders, firm butt - as he walked away.

****

I tried to return to my previous strategy, avoiding him at all costs, erasing the idea of “us” from my head. But it wasn’t the thoughts of a relationship that I struggled with; it was the thoughts of lust. The way he pushed me to a near orgasm in about 30 seconds in the middle of a school hallway reminded me of the intense pleasure I felt the two times he fucked me.

As the thoughts raced through my head, my hand made its way back into my panties, and I quickly found myself hitting my high, quietly moaning his name. And both nights, after the climax, an immediate shame washed over me.

How easily he had taken ownership of me again.

I was mostly successful. Thankfully I didn’t see him around campus that day. Seeing a couple kissing in the hallway or a particularly fit boy in workout clothes triggered an unwelcome thought, now and then, but I would quickly bury it in the back of my mind.

That night, I was feeling good. I had decided I was going to stay up and watch some shows, until I was so tired that I would fall asleep without even thinking. That was the best way to avoid those late night thoughts of the boy I refused to acknowledge. It was 10:30 p.m. and I was into the third episode of one of my go-to lighthearted sitcoms when my phone buzzed. I figured it was one of my friends, asking about plans for tomorrow, so I unlocked the phone while keeping my eyes on the show. I brought the phone to my face, and I almost choked. It had opened to a text message. A text message from Niall. It wasn’t just words; there was a photo, too.

What appeared in front of my eyes was a shirtless and pant less Niall, sitting up in bed. His skin was tanned and so smooth, except around his chest, where the hair was matted down. I could see every defined muscle – the biceps, the chest, abs, shoulders, thighs. And then my eyes were led to his crotch. He was wearing white boxers briefs that might’ve been too small for him, as his cock could clearly be seen bulging through. One of his hands rested right by the bulge, emphasizing it.

The caption wrote: “Figured ya were thinkin about this, so thought I’d just give ya a real picture to replace the mental one. I haven’t fucked since yesterday, so it’s even more ready to go than usual.”

I was appalled by his action, by his lack of manners and by the fact that he readily admitted he’s fucking a different girl almost every day. Does he really think admitting he’s a man whore makes him more appealing? Unfortunately, though, he’s probably right.

Disgusted as I might have been, I was also instantly hot. Seeing him in this primal form is just too much to handle. His aura reeks of sex, and no matter how much I hate him as a person, he’s the best sex I’ve ever had, and I doubt I’ll ever meet another person who can make me feel what he can. He’s perfection in my eyes, and in moments like this, I live to worship him. My mind goes in a thousand directions, all of them leading to his cock. My fingers are already rubbing my clit, and I’m well on my way to an orgasm.

Another text comes in: “Say thank you.” And as I hit my high seconds later, it comes out as the most pathetic of whimpers: “Thank you, Niall.”

****

Another three days and nothing from Niall. But it’s not like he needs to do anything. He’s already living rent free in my mind. I had decided to let him overwhelm me, because after that photo came in, I had no power to resist. I was not even close to deleting it, instead staring at it, drooling over it, each night I went to bed. I wanted his cock more than anything else in the world. But with some kind of false belief that I still had my dignity, I refused to reach out to him, refused to beg him for sex, like I’m sure so many girls have done before. Instead, I let my thoughts and that photo take care of my desire for him. I would eventually delete the photo, go back to my plan of moving on with life. I just needed a few days of quietly obsessing over him, and then I could work on pushing him out again.

It was a Saturday morning, and I headed to the gym. One way I was trying to maintain my sanity, besides spending a lot of time with friends and studying, was to keep fit. I wasn’t about to be in magazines, but I could be healthy, and I was at least pretty enough for Niall to fuck twice and continue to torture, so I guess that’s pretty good.

There are a number of mirrors lining the wall, about 10 feet in front of the treadmills, and in them I could see most of the rest of the gym. And in one mirror, I could see the weight lifting station, and there was Niall. He wore a blue tank top with a gold chain and those same tight workout shorts I saw him in a few days ago. He was lifting what appeared to be a lot of weight, at least to me. And he was making it look easy. His biceps moved with every motion, and my core throbbed instantly. He was just so hot.

After several seconds of my eyes fixated on him through the mirror, he apparently felt the gaze and looked toward the same mirror. We made eye contact through the reflection, and he smirked. I almost tripped but regained my composure and looked straight ahead.

I was completely unable to stay focused. I continually stole glances toward him, as he continued to do more weight training, and he caught me looking multiple times. He even licked his lips on one occasion, which did nothing to help the dampening feeling in my underwear. He hadn’t even approached me yet, and yet he already knew he had me.

After about 15 minutes, I heard his voice behind me, “Hey Y/N, is there something over by the weights I can get ya? I noticed you kept lookin over there.”

I put my feet on either side of the treadmill, pulled my earbuds out and looked his way. Breathing heavily, I said, “Uh, no. I, uh, was just looking around I guess.”

Niall smiled, “Oh, I see. Well do ya wanna turn that machine off? Seems like ya could use a breather.”

I froze for a couple seconds, before listening to him and powering down the treadmill, turning around to look at him, no words forming. At that moment, the only other person in the gym went out the door, and a smirk appeared on Niall’s face.

“Why don’t you come sit?” Niall said, patting his hand on a nearby bench press seat.

Niall knelt down on his feet in front of me, staring into my eyes with a mischievous smile on his face. After a few seconds, he grabbed one of my feet, and took off the running shoe and then the sock. He did the same with the other foot. He then started massaging one foot with both hands.

“I saw ya workin hard there, y/n. Tryin to get yourself lookin good?” Niall asked, still rubbing my foot.

“Uh, I guess, yeah,” I meekly responded.

“Hmmm.. who are ya tryin to look good for?”

“I don’t know. I..”

“I think it might be me,” Niall interrupted with an almost aggressive smirk, “Or maybe you’re just tryna distract yourself so you don’t haveta think about me?”

I was speechless. He chuckled, switching to rubbing my other foot and asking, “Did ya like the picture I sent ya the other night? Bet ya didn’t delete it, did ya?”

I was still unable to speak, so I just shook my head, and his smile grew bigger.

“Mmm, good,” Niall said, dropping my foot down and standing up straight, the bulge in his shorts about a foot away from my face, “Why don’t you take those shorts off, y/n? Think ya need to cool off a little.”

I hesitated, but not for long, and I slowly pulled down my running shorts, leaving just my panties, which were obviously wet.

“Why are you soaked?” Niall asked abruptly.

“Answer.”

“You,” was all I could manage to get out.

“Of course,” he chuckled, “I guess you weren’t just ‘lookin around’ earlier, huh? You musta liked watchin me work out. Go ahead and take your tank top off now.”

It was actually just a sports bra, but it’s not like Niall was going to care, so I just ignored that and obeyed the command. It was a little tough, having worked up a sweat, but I managed to pull the layer of clothing over my head, leaving my breasts exposed.

“Very good,” Niall smiled, “You listen very well, y/n.”

He then pulled off his own shorts, leaving his socks and shoes on. He was in white underwear again, but this time spandex, which he probably wore for working out. The outline of his cock was so prominent, he might as well have had nothing on. He then peeled off his tank top, leaving only his chain dangling on his hairy chest. His body was glistening.

“Lay back,” Niall said, as he moved forward.

I obeyed. I would do anything he told me to do right now. My head was now rested just short of the bench press par, with my butt still on the edge of the seat. Niall positioned himself above my crotch, one leg on each side of the bench press seat. When I moved my head up a bit to look forward, all I saw was his crotch and the straining bulge in the front of his spandex. I was overwhelmed at this point.

“Want me to make ya feel good, y/n?” he asked, talking to me like I was a child, “Want me to make ya cum?”

I nodded, breathing ragged. He smirked and then lowered himself down, his bulge pressing against my heat. He then leaned his torso forward and put his arms on either side of my head. And he started rocking his hips. The feeling was indescribable. I remembered just how big he is, as his cock pressed against my folds over and over again. I was sopping in my panties, making his underwear wet, too, and his thrusts started making wet noises.

“How does this cock feel, y/n?” he asked.

“So good,” I whimpered, “It’s so big, Niall.”

He chuckled, looking into my eyes, still thrusting, “I know that y/n. You know how many girls have told me how big I am, how I’m the best they’ve ever had. Is it true, y/n? Am I the best?”

“You’re the best, Niall,” I blurted out, “God, you’re incredible.”

“Yeah? Do you think about me when you’re alone at night?”

“Yes, Niall.”

“What do you think about?”

“Your cock, Niall.”

He smiled a huge smile, “Cum in your panties, y/n” he said, as his thrusts got even more forceful. It felt like his cock was actually railing inside me now.

“Cum jus like ya do when ya think about me in yer little bed at night, pretending like ya hate me, but never gettin me out of yer head.”

“Ohh, Niall,” I panted.

“That’s right, y/n. This is the real thing. Ya got my cock rubbin up against yer pussy. Ya feel that? Ya feel how big it is? Feel how good I fuck ya?’

“Yes, Niall, yes,” I shouted.

My orgasm came in, and as I hit my climax, there was no stopping my real thoughts from coming out in a flurry of moans and pants, “No one can make me feel like you can. You’re the best. I think about your cock all the time.”

Niall was beaming at this point, staring down at me. He was so masculine, his chest sweating and his biceps flexing as he held himself up above me. His gold chain was bouncing against his chest, as he thrusted hard and fast. The sight was enough to just about kill me, and my final high hit like a ton of bricks. I screamed out his name.

As I came down, Niall stood up and got out of his underwear. His cock jumping out, smacking against his abs and resting in place. He now only had his chain and his shoes and socks on, and as I looked up, I could’ve sworn he was a fitness model. His broad shoulders lead down to a skinny waist. His muscles were so defined all over.

“Now ya have some work to do,” Niall said, as he repositioned himself over me on the bench press.

This time though, he moved up, so he was sitting on my chest, above my breasts. His cock was is my face. He reached behind my head and grabbed my hair. Pulling my head up a bit, he made a ponytail from my hair. He then grabbed his cock with his other hand. He had to stand up a bit and move back, because his cock was too long, and he needed to adjust to get it in front of my mouth.

“Open up,” he said.

I was totally fucked out at this point, and would only be able to respond to simple commands. I opened wide, and he slowly pushed in. After a few inches, my mouth felt full, but he wasn’t even halfway. He continued to slowly push in, reaching my throat, and pushing down it.

“Oh, that feels good, y/n,” Niall said, tilting his head up and closing his eyes, as he continued pushing in.

I was gagging a bit, but he continued pushing in further, “Don’t worry. Your throat will get used to it. They always do.”

I couldn’t even think about the arrogance of what he just said, because I was too entranced, too overcome by him. I belonged to him. After pushing all the way in, my nose now in his sweaty pubes, Niall finally pulled all the way out. He looked down, smiling, and used his thumb to wipe the tears that were coming out of my eyes.

“Do ya like sucking on me cock, y/n?” he asked, started to jerk himself off.

I nodded.

“Say it. Tell me how ya feel,” he commanded.

“I.. I love..,” I started, taking a badly needed breath, “I love how big it feels in my mouth … (deep breath) and how it stretches my throat … (deep breath) and I love looking up and seeing you above me.”

Niall put on a more gentle smile. “Good girl,” he said, as he softly caressed my cheek.

He then stood up, his cock bouncing above me. “Lay your head down,” he ordered. I did as I was told.

“Open up.” I listened again, and Niall knelt a bit, grabbing the back of my head with one hand and directing his cock back into my mouth with the other.

He then started thrusting his hips. He couldn’t even fit his whole cock with each thrust, hitting the back of my throat over and over.

I gagged and choked, as drool started coming out. He’d give me short breaks to catch my breath before thrusting some more. All I could see when I looked up was his sweaty body and that gold chain bouncing up and down.

“Love this mouth, y/n. Love how ya used to use it to insult me, but now all ya can do is open it up and let me in. Ya can’t get enough, can ya? I could do this anytime I wanted, huh? Ya tried to resist me, but now I own ya. Ya love this cock.”

I was getting wet again just from his words. I was aware that I would feel like shit later, but I was willing to give anything for this pleasure. I just wanted to worship him; to give him everything he wanted.

Niall suddenly pulled his cock out and put his hands behind his back, “Choke on it,” he said.

I looked confused for a moment. “Push it down yer throat and don’t let go til I say so.”

I had to lean up to get to him. I grabbed it with one hand, but he quickly swatted it away, and I understood. I leaned forward and slowly started pushing his cock in. It hit my throat, and I gagged, but I kept going, pushing and pushing until I finally reached his pubes. I stayed put. It was hard, as I choked, but it felt so good, doing exactly what he said and feeling his power, smelling his sweat. I grabbed onto his ass for good measure, feeling how firm it was.

“Oh, yeah,” Niall said above me. “That’s it, y/n. Such a good girl, doing everything I tell you.”

“Fuck,” he yelled out and he pulled my head off his cock with one hand, jerking off with the other.

“Look at me,” he said and I looked up into his eyes.

He kept eye contact as he reached his finish. It came out in ropes, hitting different parts of my face. It was warm and heavy, and I happily swallowed what landed in my mouth. Niall was smiling down at me, his hand still in my hair. He took the hand that was jerking himself off, and collected some of his cum from my face on his finger.

“Open,” he said, and I stuck my tongue out. He put his cum-filled finger in and I sucked around it.

“Say thank you,” he commanded.

“Thank you, Niall,” I whispered meekly.

He picked up his clothes and walked away, his cum still on my face.

****

Just over a month. That’s how long it had been since Niall last used me up like he owned me, since Niall last spoke a word to me. 33 days, to be exact, but who’s counting?I had decided, after the second time sucking his cock and letting him ruin me, that I absolutely was not going back to him. He gave me the best orgasms I’ve ever had, and to be honest, I loved being dominated by him, loved worshiping him. But only in the moment. Afterward, I just felt like shit. Both times.I’m not sure what I expected after the first encounter. I knew his reputation beforehand. But I believed he must have a heart, that he would at least talk to me after fucking my brains out. So when he completely cut me out, I had to understand why, had to get an answer.What I got instead was another mouthful of his cock - not that I was complaining at the time.

So when he dropped me off that day without so much as a kiss goodbye, and instead a crude comment - ‘Try to think about something other than my cock’ - followed by a typical cocky smirk, i decided there was no way I was going back to him again. If he decided to ignore me like last time, then so be it. I would resist all temptations, no matter how unrelenting, and I would move on with my life.

So that’s how I’ve made it 33 days. A torturous, agonizing month, but at least I was building back my pride.I know for a fact that pretty much every girl Niall fucks ends up begging him for more. I’ve heard from plenty of girls who can’t seem to shake him from their mind. He gives them the best sex of their life, but then he leaves them in the middle of the ocean without a lifeline in site. It’s not like I felt superior to the other girls in any way; I mean I was just as hooked as they were; but I did take at least some pride in the fact that I was not feeding his ego.It was hard, mind you. I saw him on campus a few times per week, and every time, my mind instantly started racing, my face heated up, and my body began to remember what he can do. Now and then, he’d catch me looking, and he’d give a knowing smirk, but he easily resisted approaching me. I was just another conquest, after all, and there were plenty more to come in the parade of women in and out of his bedroom.No one could make a girl feel like he could, and he knew it. He had nothing to worry about, no one to be jealous of, which made these games easy for him. I was pretty sure that if I crawled back to him, he’d fuck me again. But no way was he was going to come to me.So, as difficult as it was, I was successful in avoiding him. I sometimes got wet just seeing him in a tank top or flirting shamelessly with some girl; I masturbated to thoughts of him many times; I even stalked his social media in my weakest moments, but I never gave in. I refused to give in.

****

On A Saturday during spring semester, I was sitting in a comfy chair in one of the little study nooks that are dispersed throughout the college. I enjoy sitting here, as it’s usually pretty quiet and I can concentrate on studying. I had my headphones in and was focused on a video that I was taking notes from.I dropped my pen, as I’m prone to do, and it fell on the ground in the space between the two chairs and the window behind. I stood up and then bent over the arms of the chairs, trying to reach down for the writing utensil. I then felt something alarming, but familiar. It was very apparent that a crotch was now pushed up against my ass, but the owner of the crotch was uncertain. I most certainly did not have a boyfriend, as I had yet to meet a guy since Niall who could give me even half the physical pleasure Niall could. I had a few girl friends who might joke around like this, but, as evidenced by the prominent manhood I was feeling against my butt, this was no girl.

"Damn, I almost forgot how nice this ass was. Loved watching it move while I fucked ya from behind those times."The culprit was now unmistakable.

"What the hell are you doing Niall?” I snapped, turning around to face him. I was quickly overwhelmed with his presence.

He was right in my face, and I could feel the heat of his body. He was in a tank top and his biceps were bulging, and his smirk was as bright as ever.It was clear that he instantly recognized his position of power. He was well aware that he could have me in the palm of his hand if he wanted.

“What’s the problem y/n? You weren’t so shy when you were moaning my name a couple weeks ago,” Niall said, his hand resting on my hip.

I was already struggling to speak. I was trying not to make eye contact, but that meant I had to look down, and what I saw when I looked down was Niall in some workout shorts with a very noticeable bulge in the stomach. I held back a whimper. Honestly, it was something of a heroic act for me to not give into him that second.

“A couple weeks?” I said, annoyed.

“We haven’t talked in over a month Niall.”

“Oh, is that right? I guess it kind of blends together for me. I don’t always remember which girl was when, although you do stand out, y/n,” he said with that smirk plastered on his face.

“And I see you’ve been thinking about me, since you know exactly how long it’s been.”

“Oh please, just because I have simple memory capabilities doesn’t me I actually care what happened between us. It meant nothing,” I said, not certain if I was convincing him or myself.

“Tell me, though,” Niall said, as he brought his body even closer to mine, now pressing against me.

“What do you remember?"He moved his free hand into my hair, and leaned down, kissing under my ear.

"Do you remember my dorm room, taking it on my bed, feeling me in you for the first time? Do you remember the back of my car, moaning my name and steaming up my windows?"

The hand that was on my hip has now snaked its way under the waistband of my panties, and he’s moving it very slowly toward my sex.

"Do you remember my cock, y/n? Do you remember it filling up your mouth? Do you remember it in your throat?” he asked, making sure to kiss my throat right at that moment.

“Do you remember gagging on it? Choking on it? Remember how big it is?"

"Say thank you,” Niall goaded, continuing his actions but now staring into my eyes.

All I could muster was a few heavy breaths until finally I whimpered, “Thank you, Niall."

He pulled his hand out and stepped away in one motion. He said "You’re welcome” and then stuck his wet fingers in front of my mouth. I opened in a haze, and he chuckled as he pushed my own wetness into my mouth. I sucked them clean. Niall smiled big and said, “Should be easier now to get to your orgasm tonight,” then winked and turned around. And all I could do was stare at that perfect body - his muscular back, broad shoulders, perky butt - as he walked away.

****

Another two days passed, and I heard nothing from Niall. After all those days avoiding him, trying to get him out of my head, he swooped in, teased me to the brink of orgasm, and then just left me high and dry. He clearly refused to even entertain the notion of committing to any kind of relationship with me, and yet he still couldn’t just let me be at peace. It’s like he wants me to suffer.I tried to return to my previous strategy, avoiding him at all costs, erasing the idea of “us” from my head. But it wasn’t the thoughts of a relationship that I struggled with; it was the thoughts of lust. The way he pushed me to a near orgasm in about 30 seconds in the middle of a school hallway reminded me of the intense pleasure I felt the two times he fucked me.

The last two nights, while in my bed, my attempts to resist thinking about him were embarrassingly short. As I closed my eyes, my brain immediately focused on him. I remembered his touch, his cocky demeanor, his bright eyes, his smirk, his kiss. And then I remembered his cock, the weight of it, the way it filled my throat and my sex. I remembered the boastful look on his face every time I peered up at him while he used my mouth. I remembered the sweat that gathered on his built chest as he fucked into me.As the thoughts raced through my head, my hand made its way back into my panties, and I quickly found myself hitting my high, quietly moaning his name. And both nights, after the climax, an immediate shame washed over me. How easily he had taken ownership of me again.

On the third day, I had decided that it must stop. I would return to my life, one that does not involve an arrogant asshole like Niall. He could continue his fuckboy destiny, while I would move on to better things. One setback would not be enough to deter me.I was mostly successful. Thankfully I didn’t see him around campus that day. Seeing a couple kissing in the hallway or a particularly fit boy in workout clothes triggered an unwelcomed thought, now and then, but I would quickly bury it in the back of my mind.That night, I was feeling good. I had decided I was going to stay up and watch some shows, until I was so tired that I would fall asleep without even thinking. That was the best way to avoid those late night thoughts of the boy I refused to acknowledge.

It was 10:30 p.m. and I was into the third episode of one of my go-to lighthearted sitcoms when my phone buzzed. I figured it was one of my friends, asking about plans for tomorrow, so I unlocked the phone while keeping my eyes on the show.I brought the phone to my face, and I almost choked. It had opened to a text message. A text message from Niall. It wasn’t just words; there was a photo, too.What appeared in front of my eyes was a shirtless and pantsless Niall, sitting up in bed. His tan skin was glistening and was so smooth, except around his chest, where the hair was matted down. I could see every defined muscle – the biceps, the chest, abs, shoulders, thighs. And then my eyes were led to his crotch. He was wearing white boxers briefs that might’ve been too small for him, as his cock could clearly be seen bulging through. One of his hands rested right by the bulge, emphasizing it.

The caption wrote: “Figured ya were thinkin about this, so thought I’d just give ya a real picture to replace the mental one  Haven’t fucked since yesterday, so it’s even more ready to go than usual.”I was appalled by his action, by his lack of manners and by the fact that he readily admitted he’s fucking a different girl almost every day. Does he really think admitting he’s a man whore makes him more appealing? Unfortunately, though, he’s probably right. Disgusted as I might have been, I was also instantly hot. Seeing him in this primal form is just too much to handle. His aura reeks of sex, and no matter how much I hate him as a person, he’s the best sex I’ve ever had, and I doubt I’ll ever meet another person who can make me feel what he can. He’s perfection in my eyes, and in moments like this, I live to worship him. My mind goes in a thousand directions, all of them leading to his cock. My fingers are already rubbing my clit, and I’m well on my way to an orgasm. Another text comes in: “Say thank you.” And as I hit my high seconds later, it comes out as the most pathetic of whimpers: Thank you, Niall.”

****

Another three days and nothing from Niall. But it’s not like he needs to do anything. He’s already living rent free in my mind. I had decided to let him overwhelm me, because after that photo came in, I had no power to resist. I was not even close to deleting it, instead staring at it, drooling over it, each night I went to bed. I wanted his cock more than anything else in the world. But with some kind of false belief that I still had my dignity, I refused to reach out to him, refused to beg him for sex, like I’m sure so many girls have done before. Instead, I let my thoughts and that photo take care of my desire for him.I would eventually delete the photo, go back to my plan of moving on with life. I just needed a few days of quietly obsessing over him, and then I could work on pushing him out again.It was a Saturday morning, and I headed to the gym. One way I was trying to maintain my sanity, besides spending a lot of time with friends and studying, was to keep fit. I wasn’t about to be in magazines, but I could be healthy, and I was at least pretty enough for Niall to fuck twice and continue to torture, so I guess that’s pretty good.

I set myself up on the treadmill, where I spent most of my time while in the gym, and I started jogging. I did my best to focus on the workout, drowning out unwanted thoughts with music from my earbuds. I was moving along well, increasing speed, when I made the unfortunate decision to open my eyes.There are a number of mirrors lining the wall, about 10 feet in front of the treadmills, and in them I could see most of the rest of the gym. And in one mirror, I could see the weight lifting station, and there was Niall. He wore a blue tank top with a gold chain and those same tight workout shorts I saw him in a few days ago.He was lifting what appeared to be a lot of weight, at least to me. And he was making it look easy. His biceps moved with every motion, and my core throbbed instantly. He was just so hot. After several seconds of my eyes fixated on him through the mirror, he apparently felt the gaze and looked toward the same mirror. We made eye contact through the reflection, and he smirked. I almost tripped but regained my composure and looked straight ahead. I was completely unable to stay focused.

I continually stole glances toward him, as he continued to do more weight training, and he caught me looking multiple times. He even licked his lips on one occasion, which did nothing to help the dampening feeling in my underwear.He hadn’t even approached me yet, and yet he already knew he had me.After about 15 minutes, I heard his voice behind me.

“Hey Y/N, is there something over by the weights I can get ya? I noticed you kept lookin over there.”

I put my feet on either side of the treadmill, pulled my earbuds out and looked his way. Breathing heavily, I said, “Uh, no. I, uh, was just looking around I guess.”

Niall smiled, “Oh, I see. Well do ya wanna turn that machine off? Seems like ya could use a breather.”

“Why don’t you come sit?” Niall said, patting his hand on a nearby bench press seat.

It was phrased as a question, but it was unquestionably a command. He was testing how obedient I would be. I did as he asked, and sat at the edge of the seat. I was feeling vulnerable and powerless, but mostly just aroused. Niall knelt down on his feet in front of me, staring into my eyes with a mischievous smile on his face. After a few seconds, he grabbed one of my feet, and took off the running shoe and then the sock. He did the same with the other foot. He then started massaging one foot with both hands.

“I saw ya workin hard there, y/n. Tryin to get yourself lookin good?” Niall asked, still rubbing my foot.

“Uh, I guess, yeah,” I meekly responded.

“Hmmm.. who are ya tryin to look good for?”

“I don’t know. I..”

“I think it might be me,” Niall interrupted with an almost aggressive smirk.

“Or maybe you’re just tryna distract yourself so you don’t haveta think about me?” I was speechless.

He chuckled, switching to rubbing my other foot and asking, “Did ya like the picture I sent ya the other night? Bet ya didn’t delete it, did ya?”I was still unable to speak, so I just shook my head, and his smile grew bigger.

“Mmm, good,” Niall said, dropping my foot down and standing up straight, the bulge in his shorts about a foot away from my face.

“Why don’t you take those shorts off, y/n? Think ya need to cool off a little.”

I hesitated, but not for long, and I slowly pulled down my running shorts, leaving just my panties, which were obviously wet.

“Why are you soaked?” Niall asked abruptly.

“Answer.”

“You,” was all I could manage to get out.

“Of course,” he chuckled.

“I guess you weren’t just ‘lookin around’ earlier, huh? You musta liked watchin me work out. Go ahead and take your tank top off now.”

It was actually just a sports bra, but it’s not like Niall was going to care, so I just ignored that and obeyed the command. It was a little tough, having worked up a sweat, but I managed pull the layer of clothing over my head, leaving my breasts exposed.

“Very good,” Niall smiled. “You listen very well, y/n.”

He then pulled off his own shorts, leaving his socks and shoes on. He was in white underwear again, but this time spandex, which he probably wore for working out. The outline of his cock was so prominent, he mine as well have had nothing on. He then peeled off his tank top, leaving only his chain dangling on his hairy chest. His body was glistening.

“Lay back,” Niall said, as he moved forward.

“Want me to make ya feel good, y/n?” he asked, talking to me like I was a child.

“Want me to make ya cum?” I nodded, breathing ragged.

He smirked and then lowered himself down, his bulge pressing against my heat. He then leaned his torso forward and put his arms on either side of my head. And he started rocking his hips. The feeling was indescribable. I remembered just how big he is, as his cock pressed against my folds over and over again. I was sopping in my panties, making his underwear wet, too, and his thrusts started making wet noises.

“How does this cock feel, y/n?” he asked.

“So good,” I whimpered.

“It’s so big, Niall.”He chuckled, looking into my eyes, still thrusting, “I know that y/n. You know how many girls have told me how big I am, how I’m the best they’ve ever had. Is it true, y/n? Am I the best?”

“You’re the best, Niall,” I blurted out.

“God, you’re incredible.”

“Yeah? Do you think about me when you’re alone at night?”

“Yes, Niall”“What do you think about?”

“Your cock, Niall.”He smiled a huge smile.

“Cum in your panties, y/n” he said, as his thrusts got even more forceful. It felt like his cock was actually railing inside me now.

“Cum jus like ya do when ya think about me in yer little bed at night, pretending like ya hate me, but never gettin me out of yer head.”

“Ohh, Niall,” I panted.

“That’s right, y/n. This is the real thing. Ya got my cock rubbin up against yer pussy. Ya feel that? Ya feel how big it is? Feel how good I fuck ya?’

“Yes, Niall, yes,” I shouted.

My orgasm came in, and as I hit my climax, there was no stopping my real thoughts from coming out in a flurry of moans and pants.

“No one can make me feel like you can. Your the best. I think about your cock all the time.” Niall was beaming at this point, staring down at me.

He was so masculine, his chest sweating and his biceps flexing as he held himself up above me. His gold chain was bouncing against his chest, as he thrusted hard and fast. The site was enough to just about kill me, and my final high hit like a ton of bricks. I screamed out his name. As I came down, Niall stood up and got out of his underwear. His cock jumping out, smacking against his abs and resting in place. He now only had had his chain and his shoes and socks on, and as I looked up, I could’ve sworn he was a fitness model. His broad shoulders lead down to a skinny waist. His muscles were so defined all over.

“Now ya have some work to do,” Niall said, as he respositioned himself over me on the bench press.

This time though, he moved up, so he was sitting on my chest, above my breast. His cock was is my face.He reached behind my head and grabbed my hair. Pulling my head up a bit, he made a ponytail from my hair. He then grabbed his cock with his other hand. He had to stand up a bit and move back, because his cock was too long, and he needed to adjust to get it in front of my mouth.

“Open up,” he said.

I was totally fucked out at this point, and would only be able to respond to simple commands. I opened wide, and he slowly pushed in.After a few inches, my mouth felt full, but he wasn’t even halfway in. He continued to slowly push in reaching my throat, and pushing down it.

“Oh, that feels good, y/n,” Niall said, tilting his head up and closing his eyes, as he continued pushing in.

I was gagging a bit, but he continued pushing in further.

“Don’t worry. Your throat will get used to it. They always do.”

I couldn’t even think about the arrogance of what he just said, because I was too entranced, too overcome by him. I belonged to him.After pushing all the way in, my nose now in his sweaty pubes, Niall finally pulled all the way out, leaving in just the tip. He looked down, smiling, and used his thumb to wipe the tears that were coming out of my eyes.

“Do ya like sucking on me cock, y/n?” he asked, started to jack himself off.

I nodded.

“Say it. Tell me how ya feel,” he commanded.

“I.. I love..,” I started, taking a badly needed breath, “I love how big it feels in my mouth … (deep breath) and how it stretches out my throat … (deep breath) and I love looking up and seeing you above me.”

Niall put on a more gentle smile.

“Good girl,” he said, as he softly caressed my cheek. He then stood up, his cock bouncing above me. “Lay your head down,” he ordered. I did as I was told.

“Open up.” I listened again, and Niall knelt a bit, grabbing the back of my head with one hand and directing his cock back into my mouth with the other.

He then started thrusting his hips. He couldn’t even hit his whole cock with each thrust, hitting the back of my throat over and over.I gagged and choked, as drool started coming out. He’d give me short breaks to catch my breath before thrusting some more. All I could see when I looked up was his sweaty body and that gold chain bouncing up and down.

“Choke on it,” he said. I looked confused for a moment.

“Push it down yer throat and don’t let go til I say so.”

“Oh, yeah,” Niall said above me. “That’s it, y/n. Such a good girl, doing everything I tell you.”

“Fuck,” he yelled out and he pulled my head off his cock with one hand, jerking off with the other.

“Look at me,” he said and I looked up into his eyes.

He kept eye contact as he reached his finish. It came out in ropes, hitting different parts of my face. It was warm and heavy, and I happily slowed what landed in my mouth. Niall was smiling down at me, his hand still in my hair. He took the hand that was jerking himself off, and collected some of his cum from my face on his finger.

“Open,” he said, and I stuck my tongue out. He put his cum-filled finger in and I sucked around it.

“Say thank you, y/n,” he commanded.

“Thank you, Niall,” I whispered meekly. He picked up his clothes and walked away.

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darthkvznblogs · 4 years

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“I’m not perfect - not yet. But I’m still leagues better than you.”

You are acting entirely too haughty for someone who just torched a not insignificant section of the Emerald Forest, Weiss.

(side note: I slightly regret using the video thumbnails as header images. I don’t think a single one has matched the quote at the top :P)

Hello again! Welcome back to Darth’s Book Club, the show where I more or less gush about the media I love for the duration of an entire Tumblr post (books and/or clubs optional)

Before we start, thank you to everyone who’s liked or reblogged the previous installments! I’m used to like, two notifications a week on Tumblr, so waking up to a dozen or so was pretty wild. I imagine my activity graph is screaming confusedly at all the highly irregular entries it’s getting. On with the show!

RWBY Volume 1, Episode 7: “The Emerald Forest, part 2″

Slim pickings again - I imagine these two-parters were likely intended to be watched as a whole, but they’re not packaged that way, so this’ll probably happen a few more times - so I’ll keep this one brief. I’m not gonna bore you with my thoughts on what it might mean that Yang and Blake picked a golden horse as their relic/chess piece - mostly because I don’t know shiz about chess, so y’know, no thoughts, head empty - but I do wanna talk a bit about Ruby and Weiss’ rollercoaster of a developing relationship.

It’s, uh, bad up in Whiteroseville, folks.

More seriously though, I’d honestly forgotten the level of vitriol these two start with. Obviously, things don’t get much more heated than back and forth playground insults - because this is a show for kids, right guys? - but things do get a bit unnecessarily personal. Ruby calls Weiss out for being bossy - and apparently hits, like, that nerve on your elbow that sends you into the stratosphere when struck - Weiss (rightly) demands Ruby stop acting like a child, and Ruby (rightly) questions her perfectionism. Like I said, it comes off a bit too childish, but the back and forth is still engaging - especially when it culminates in that catty AF riposte that makes this episode’s header. I’m just gonna put it in again with proper emphasis, because what use is having my own show if I can’t abuse the heck out of some italics?

“I’m not perfect - not yet. But I’m still leagues better than you.”

Why can’t we admit when we’re wrong? Why is it so damn difficult? And I’m talking real life, where the consequences for it are often harmless, of course. I’m probably starting to sound like that cliché movie announcer thing, but in a world...where taking the wrong step could literally put you in mortal danger - Jaune and his new Deathstalker buddy say hello - what could possibly possess Weiss and Ruby not to admit they’ve simply messed up a bit?

In completely unrelated news, this episode kinda stinks of pride, doesn’t it? I have no idea whether it’s intentional or not, but there’s Glynda talking down on Nora and Jaune, Yang and Blake kinda boasting about what a breeze it was to get to the ruins, Jaune and his torch - you cherish those small victories, buddy - and...well, something-something-Weiss-and-Ruby’s-entire-argument.

It’s an issue, that’s for certain. At some point you’ve gotta cut your losses and swallow that pride. We’ll see if Weiss and Ruby have it in them.

That’s it from me! Thank you so much for joining me. If you enjoyed this installment of Darth’s Book Club, please consider checking out my works over on Fanfiction and AO3 - I write a bunch of crossovers, mainly involving superheroes, but there’s also some fun gaming, movie, and book fandoms in there. You can find me at:

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5808614/

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darthkvzn/

And if you like what I do and have a coffee’s worth of money to spare, please consider checking out my Ko-fi! I post every update to my works and now Darth’s Book Club there. You can find me at:

https://ko-fi.com/darthkvzn

If you have anything you’d like me to check out or talk about, please shoot me an ask or message! I’m just doing RWBY for the foreseeable future, but I’m always willing to give your suggestions a shot.

Until next time!

#Darth's Book Club #RWBY #rwby007 #the emerald forest #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #ozpin #glynda goodwitch #bumbleby #whiterose

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razanartuk · 3 years

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about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

#mel.rtf #abt me #tag games

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rigelmejo · 3 years

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the word brain - summary and notes

the word brain: http://www.amedeo.net/wb/TheWordBrain2015.pdf

It’s a book about how to learn a language. I like the straightforward estimates of time lengths in it. What I’m about to write is gonna have a lot of notes to myself (as usual lol).

anyway, below is the word brain summary. and my ideas on how to maybe add its ideas to my study plan.

Notes:

Increasing Vocab:

I tend to not do the explicit vocab study the book starts with for very long. I did it for french for around 1000 words (which was apparently enough base), and 2000 words using memrise for chinese. Now for japanese I use memrise to do this step.

What I learned from this step, is there may still be use in dedicating some time per day to reading my hanzi books and common-word dictionaries - and reading sections over a few times in spaced repetition (like day 1,3,7,13, 30) could work similarly like memrise/anki. So I could still have use for them.

This book mentioned word lookup in novels counts, if you do it often, and so I can see how I usually quickly abandon “this writer’s way” of increasing vocab, and move onto relying nearly entirely on reading and word lookups to learn as soon as I feel reading is doable. So again... I could speed up word acquisition with either: more memrise/anki, or more glancing at my reference texts every so often. Not that much time is needed either - 5 minutes to learn a word (so studied in like 30 sec - 1 minute intervals over multiple sessions). My usual strategy of reading to acquire words definitely works - but I could probably speed it up a bit by a bit more purposeful reviewing. And I could still have a use for my reference books if I use them for hanzi/word learning.

Also - aiming for 5000 words in related languages, 15,000 in very unrelated languages, is usually enough for overall comprehension.

Listening skills:

Need generally 1,500-2,000 listening hours to parse speech in a language. This time can mostly be done surrounded by language audio. So basically: yes playing your target language in the background does help. And will help for up to about 2,000 hours, at which point it should’ve benefited your ability to parse speech. If you have difficulty parsing speech, listen more.

You can also do shows/audio you intensively listen to/focus on purposefully (like Listening Reading Method, shows, documentaries). The takeaway point is just - there’s actually merit to the suggestion to “listen to target language as often as you can.” (Which I did not know there was any real benefit). And that even if you’re not trying to comprehend it’s content, simply practicing parsing the sounds by listening is beneficial. So I’m gonna start playing more audio in the background more often.

Reading:

I basically do the advice. What this book recommends: using audio at first whenever you read, to create the correct ‘inner voice.’ I didn’t do it, do it now sometimes, it is what it is. But probably good advice for new learners to USE their textbook audios, course audios, and graded reader audios when they have them available - since they’ll help. (The sure would’ve helped me in french ToT).

*Grammar:

Like my plan to read a grammar guide, this is kind of similar. But this book recommends learning the most common grammar structures just like words - “nailing” them in your memory by reviewing them (in spaced repetition). I think this is probably something I could add to my studies - picking up my grammar books, and reading and re-reading parts of them to help remember them better. So studying them much like words. Or watching grammar videos and rewatching/reviewing in that same kind of sequence to help remember.

I could possibly do a few review grammar guide fast-overviews - where I just reread old grammar guides I read now and then, to reinforce the memory (like spaced repetition). This is something the book recommends.

I don’t think the book mentioned it, but this could be a good place I could add 50-100 hours of producing/practicing grammar structure - at least the main ones.

Basically though - I could do a little grammar-focused study.

Speaking:

Grammar overview/learning words. Listen, read, first. Then shadow.

---

Summary: could use my reference books by studying similar to how anki/memrise work and just reading/re-reading in spaced review sessions (If I want to increase how fast I learn vocab), reading and looking up words repeatedly to acquire vocab does work though. Listen to more audio in background in general. I could probably use 50 hours of some review of the grammar more (review same as words), and some particular practice on main grammar. I should shadow more.

---

Looking at their table, chinese is probably going to take 3-5 years, and if I eventually slow down my study then up to 6 years.

I also think if this book’s definition of fluency is higher than mine like ‘C1′ competency, then I might get away with accomplishing my goals 1-2 years faster than this book’s timeline - since B1-2 is usually enough for me to be happy with what I’m able to do (I would imagine B2 is definitely enough to read/listen for enjoyment and talk to people about general topics with some fumbles?). Anyway... based on their table I would guess it will take me 1-2 more years to do what I want comfortably? At least, if I can keep my reading progress improving at the current rate or throw in some extra hours this year, I think within another year I might get to a point where I can read/listen for enjoyment mainly. At which point, slowing down my progress by studying less wouldn’t bother me as much - then if it took another 1-3 years for improved fluency because I’m studying slower, I wouldn’t mind as much. If this book’s fluency aim is around B2, then I’m probably looking at at least 2 more years. Still not bad ToT I have a bit of a warped perspective, I expected like A2-B1 level reading skill to take 4 years, whereas its taken me more like 2 years, so I’m already way ahead of schedule in how much time I thought chinese improvements would take.

I can at worst *painfully* read most modern things I try to now - so weibo, random literary stories/novels, gu long, webnovels, shows, tests, news. Sometimes I can read much easier than that, but in the worst cases I can take a while and grasp the main ideas and some details (did that with some random novels/news). Which is where my french was at about 1 years in. Chinese, having less cognates, means I’m not going to learn the unknown words fast enough to ease the ‘pain’ unless I keep studying to speed up word-learning. So that’s what I’m doing, still studying much more than I did for french at this level. But as far as milestones, I’m around what I consider A2 pushing into B1 (starting to not find modern material completely impossible) - in chinese I’m even a little better, I can start pretty much whatever new show I want and follow the main story and some details at minimum. I was never able to do that in french. Also I can follow some audiobooks/audiodramas if I have prior context - I have never tried that in french.

My personal “milestones” I go by:

a. can recognize enough common words to start trying to read comics/books with a dictionary (could be very painful lol) - this is when immersion becomes feasible.

b. know enough basic words to start trying to basically express self imperfectly (ideally eventually basically in many ideas) - this is when language exchange becomes realistic/journaling.

c. can recognize enough words and grammar in reading that main idea is generally understood without an aid (main idea understanding without aid might be painful but its possible) - this is when immersion in french I could stop using a dictionary, and in graded reading material i want at least this level of comprehension to start using it, this is when immersion can become pleasant with a dictionary, when info can start being learned from context somewhat more regularly.

d. can start to recognize main idea without aid without it feeling draining, and some amount of detail without aids - immersion now pleasant without a dictionary/aids, can learn more from context alone without feeling drained, with aids i can now pick up new words quicker but without it being draining, comprehension is now enough that depending on material i don’t feel any need/desire for an aid to grasp the missed details.

e. can recognize main idea and nearly all details, the rest mostly clear from context, nothing feels draining (mainly i only have this in graded reading materials - but in chinese daily life manhua i often feel like this now, with french website navigation or informational texts since i use them a lot, etc).

a+b is usually my goal within 5 months to a year - french took me 3-5 months, chinese took me 5-8 months. japanese took me 1.5 years lol. c is my absolute minimum goal - its enough to at least consume media with a dictionary. the beginning of the c stage can still feel ‘painful’ since all reading is ‘painful reading’ or ‘intensive reading.’ But it is comprehensible with a dictionary, so I can start learning that way. d is when I start feeling happier lol, and different areas of comprehension reach d at different points. e is my usual goal but i’ve only really hit it in certain ‘genres’ of content. All these milestones i can also ‘partially hit’ - for example in japanese years ago i hit ‘basic main idea’ milestone c for manga, but not for any other content type. For japanese... it took 2 - 2.5 years to hit c stage, which is where I’m picking back up (I can understand basic main idea with intense draining feeling, but with a dictionary i can follow most things). Now that I’m picking it up, I seem to be c in a few more ‘genres’ - video games I can also follow main idea better, and now novels are more doable with a dictionary (though i would NOT say i could follow even the main idea of a novel chapter without a dictionary). My chinese is sitting at d mostly for reading, at the earlier side of ‘usually I decide to look things up’ for missing details because i don’t want to always rely on context alone (unless its a show or manhua or extensive reading practice).

#the word brain #article #may #may progress #study plan

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monotonous-minutia · 3 years

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what was your theater experience growing up like? I know you have mentioned it before, but I’d love to hear more!

answering this depends on if you want the long version or the short version. But because I feel like telling it, we're gonna go with the long version.

(also I should preface this by saying I was home schooled and so I did not have any access to theatrical things through school.)

It starts on what seems like an unrelated note.

When I was a little kid (like really little, like 5 or so) my parents would always play lullaby CDs for us (my three brothers and I) when we went to bed. I've had issues with sleep for as long as I can remember, so I continued to listen to music every night until I was maybe 12 or 13 to try and get to sleep.

When I was around 10 I think, my mom's parents sent us a CD for Christmas or someone's birthday that was a lullaby CD, but it was all classical music. I loved it so it became my every night CD. The problem was, I got so into the music, it wouldn't actually put me to sleep. I wanted to stay up and listen to the music and read the sleeve of the CD case to see what all the songs were and who wrote them, and to feel the stories that the music was telling me. It was more than just a series of moms singing essentially “go to sleep” over and over. The music in this CD was interspersed with bits of dialogue that went along with the feeling of the music, and that just fascinated me; how someone could be telling a story with music that didn’t have any words.

So I started getting classical music CDs from the library to listen to during the day, so I could get into it when I wasn’t trying to fall asleep. I was primarily obsessed with Mozart, Vivaldi, and Handel, though I had a lot of other favorites too. There was also this really cool series of CDs that took the music of various composers and used them as a soundtrack for stories about the actual composers (the Classical Kids series) and I just ate them all up. I couldn't get enough.

People started to figure out classical music was just becoming My Thing, so I got a bunch of CDs for my various birthdays/Christmas and from the library. And one day my mom grabbed a CD of Die Zauberflote.

I got obsessed with it and once finished it, I kept listening to it over and over again. Then I wanted to see if there was a video recording of a performance that we could watch, because I loved the story and wanted to see how it would be acted out. The one copy our entire library system had was the Drottingholm Court Theater (1989) one, which to this day remains my favorite.

So now I was on the opera train, and I wanted to hear more. We listened to Nozze (though our mom wouldn't let us watch a video of this one; she said it was inappropriate. Also she hated the idea of a woman dressing up as a boy, so anything Cherubino-related was out); we listened to Barbiere, Carmen, and La boheme (these three we were allowed to watch videos of). After that my brothers got bored, but I didn't. I'd found my new obsession.

I continued to listen to operas on my own (and did occasionally manage to get a video or two in the house to watch). Then, because I am A Nerd, I started reading about them--summaries of ones I couldn't find; researching source material; reading about various performers and opera houses...pretty much anything I could get my hands on. All of this continued up until I went to college, which then took up the majority of my life (although I was able to take advantage of the university’s extensive library which had, among other things, DVDs of the ROH Zauberflote with Diana Damrau and Simon Keenlyside and the Met Hansel and Gretel with Frederica von Stade).

Now there's another aspect of this that contributes. I wrote a lot when I was a kid. Like a LOT. If I wasn't doing school or playing outside or listening to music, I was writing stories. Pretty much all of my old stories are dead now for reasons I won't get into. But one thing that stuck around was the desire to write plays. First I wanted to write an opera; the past few years obsessing over them made me want to write my own. But I couldn’t (and still can’t) read music, or write music, or even play an instrument. In my research, though, I'd found a lot of operas were based on plays, so I figured I could write one, and maybe later on down the line I’d find someone who could put it to music.

The only problem was I'd never seen a play. Not even a recording of one. it’s hard to write a play if you’ve never seen one and don’t understand how theater works.

I tried to remedy this by just reading a lot of plays. Our library had an entire section dedicated to drama, about three shelves big. I spent a lot of time there. I tried to figure out what made a good play, but you know, you just can't get the same experience without seeing one.

Then, when I was around 15 I think, I got my first "babysitting" gig, which was just me watching my little brother play video games with a kid a little younger than him. While I watched them play, I talked to the kid's mom (who was there so it really wasn't a gig), and I found out she was an actress that worked and volunteered at some local theaters.

I'd found my way in.

When I encountered her again, I asked if she knew of any ways I could get involved in the theater scene in town (there were a surprising amount of theaters nearby). There were two in particular that needed volunteers, so she connected me to some people. I got to know the staff at the theaters, help out in the box office, do some backstage stuff, usher, and occasionally help the actors with their lines and blocking. But the best part was I got to see a ton of shows for free by virtue of being a volunteer. During the next two summers, I was seeing a show almost every week, sometimes multiple times a week. It was glorious.

I also got to be involved in some of their youth shows; I actually got a few acting parts despite the fact that I'm a pretty bad actor and horrible at memorizing lines. More fun than that, I got to help out as a sort of assistant director for some children's theater workshops put on by local actors. Every Saturday for a summer, I went to one of the theaters to help guide a group of kids (it changed every week) in theater activities and act out a Roald Dahl story that they then performed for their parents. I absolutely loved doing this; I loved working alongside professional performers; I loved being able to participate in theater on a level I was comfortable with; I loved that I could get out of my freaking house; and I loved working with the kids. (Incidentally this is also what got me interested in working with kids, which has been my profession for the past six years.) So that, plus the volunteering, was the biggest part of my theater experience growing up.

Side note, it was through the magic of theater (and one enormous crush on a fellow volunteer) that made me realize I was gay. Of course, because the managers of one of the theaters ALSO happened to be gay (and married), my parents figured I'd been Converted(tm), and that's where the positivity about theater in my house ended. But once I got to college, I had fewer restraints, so I was free to get involved in theater (though I quickly realized a theater major was not for me). I did a bit of acting (never in mainstage shows), but mostly I participated in playwright groups and events. This is where I began writing plays in earnest and actually became good at it. It helped me get over the whole not-being-able-to-act thing. Plus I got to see a lot of shows because they were either a) free or b) severely discounted for students.

I almost got to go to a Big City to participate in a regional college theater festival by virtue of participating in a classmate’s theater project, but for reasons I also don’t need to go into, I was literally the only one who ended up not being able to go.

Aside from that though (an the ill-fated class I mentioned to you a while back), most of my theater experiences have been really positive, and I’m really grateful for that because it helped me get through some tough times at home. Plus there’s nothing like the joy of being involved in live performance. Once COVID winds down and I’m done with school, I want to see if I can get involved in some of the local theater groups in my city. I do still have a connection with one theater group from my old hometown (the one that did the readings of my plays), but the pandemic really put a nix on that. They’re still doing some virtual stuff though.

So anyway that’s probably way more information than you wanted but yeah. That’s my story.

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imagine-jjba · 4 years

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Here's another ask! How about some student headcanons for Josuke, Koichi, Okuyasu, & Jotaro? ^^ for example, what kind of habits or quirks do you think they'd have while studying? Also - Another amazing one! Seriously, I'm gonna end up reading all of your works in one night from how lovely they are 😭 I hope I can provide a variety of asks instead of repetitive ones lol !

student headcanons!

hi! thank you for another lovely ask! i’m glad you enjoy my works! not sure if i should make any of these shippy with reader, but i’ll try to include the reader into these! also, i hope you can forgive me for sending in the last one later. truth be told, i thought i finished it and posted it earlier. but it seems that i didn’t finish it, so i did that and posted it. the original thing was supposed to come out much earlier than it did. i’m so sorry for that!

anyway, here’s your student headcanons with josuke, koichi, okuyasu, and jotaro! i’m sorry if some of them are too short for your liking!

@bijoucupid

josuke ;

when he gets to school, he’s always looking for either you or okuyasu, if he hasn’t walked to school with him that day (though, that’s on a rare occasion). he’s very excited to meet up with his friends.

things are very different compared to when he meets you and okuyasu at school. when he meets oku, he’s loud and rambunctious, always wanting to mess around with him and have fun. however, with you, he’s more gentlemanly (thank you for passing that trait down to him, jonathan!) and softer. he wants to give you the impression that he’s cool.

after he meets up with either one of you, he’ll go to his classes. he’s always bored in them, so he spends his free time making small doodles of whatever his mind can think of. sometimes, he can even blank out and doodle random scribbles before realizing that he was doing that.

he’s not very good at note-taking, to be perfectly honest. he’s good at it when he wants to be, but the thing is, he’s normally either too bored or lazy to take notes. he’d be getting better grades than average if he did the notes and paid more attention!

josuke’s pencil case is simple, yet neat and only full of essentials. a pencil, pen, eraser, and a highlighter. everything else, he hasn’t bothered with bringing. he’s satisfied that it isn’t too heavy, though.

he has a certain degree of dislike for school. he’d rather be spending his time with his friends, you, or playing video games at home. though, while he’s stuck at school, his favorite normal school activity are gym classes! he loves being able to participate in the fun sports that they set up. even if he’s good at the sports, he really doesn’t have any time to join an actual team.

he’s also very popular with the girls, even the teachers at his school. they always compliment him, especially his hair. the teachers love to say that he’s a good kid and that he should continue his studies. of course, he’s always very nice to him since they are his elders.

you can normally find him during lunch being surrounded by girls. he doesn’t mind the attention, but if it gets to be too much, he’ll get embarrassed that he’s causing a scene. especially if they’re trying to gain his attention while you’re around! he wants to be intimate and spend time with you while he can find the time to!

once the girls are finally shooed away and josuke has some space to himself, he’ll usually go find where his group of friends are. usually, it’ s just okuyasu since koichi was stolen away by yukako, but every once in a while, he’ll find the couple with okuyasu.

when it’s just him and his best pal, he’ll often talk about the new video games that he knows are coming out. or maybe play some card games with him. whatever keeps them having fun and busy, really. they love to share their interests with each other.

when the whole group is together, they’ll often talk about new stands that have come into the town, whatever they can all talk about and actually have interest in equally.

when he’s with you, however, he’ll want to spend it completely alone. he likes to take you either outside or to an empty classroom where you two can laugh and share your meals together. it always feels like a little date that you improvised together, but it’s always fun.

after the end of the day, he’ll walk home and settle down to play video games. however, tomoko stops him after an hour and makes him do his homework. he hates it, but it really needs to get done.

when he’s studying at home, his mind tend to wander off, but he’s able to pull it back quickly and focus more on the homework. he’s usually wondering what he should do after studying, what his friends/you are doing, or if he should help his mom cook.

his notes are a bit messy, but it’s nothing too bad! it’s just like the average student’s notes! he’s very diligent and to the point with them, but there’s always unrelated doodles on the side of them.

also, when doing projects, he’s very lazy with them. normally, he does the minimum amount to get a decent grade and nothing else. all he really cares about is his friends, but at least he’s putting in some effort.

he’ll usually wait until the last day to finish his project, spending all nighters if he has to. he usually regrets them, but that never stops his ways.

during a group project, however, he doesn’t want be seen as lazy or a “slacker,” so he’ll get his part done as early as possible and let his other group members take care of their parts. if he sees one of them struggling, he’ll even ask if they need help!

overall, he’s an average student. he doesn’t like school, but won’t mind it if it’s something that needs to be done.

koichi ;

koichi is a very intelligent student, first and foremost. he’ll do his work on time and turn it in as early as possible. he wants to work hard to not disappoint those around him.

when he gets to school, he’ll usually try to get to his classroom so that he can have some alone time from the chaos he knows the day will be, but yukako always manages to capture him before. they y’all for a little bit before they have to get to classes.

when he’s in his class, he tries very hard to pay attention. he’ll listen to everything the teacher says and write it down as quickly and neatly as possible, so that he can read over his notes at a later time and understand them.

he’s one of those students that goes overboard with what supplies they have. he carries around many things that he may never even end up using! but, still, he needs to be prepared. this own pencil case holds many things that either you, yukako, or his mother may have suggested to put in.

during lunch, he’ll want to eat with some of his friends, but is normally dragged away by yukako who insists to eat alone together. he’s fine with it and all, but he’d like to spend at least one moment with his friends! he loves her, though, so he’ll go along with whatever she has planned for that lunch.

when he finally gets his time with the students of the dwang gang, he likes to mainly listen in on the conversations that everyone is having. he doesn’t have much to input into a conversation. somethings, he doesn’t even know about. but he likes to listen to others opinions about things.

he’s not considered a popular kid, but he does have people who enjoy him and his company. he’s known by kids in his class, but he’s much less notiable than josuke. a moderate amount of popularity!

koichi is also considered a teacher’s pet, doing many things for them and listening to them. he’s mature enough to get the teacher’s attention and gain their trust. he uses it very wisely.

at the end of the day, he’ll head home and immediately do his homework. he doesn’t want to accidentally take a nap and forget to do it, so he’ll do it right as he comes home as a “just in case” scenario.

his teachers say many praises and good things about him! he’s very reliable and likable to them. though, they do say that he’s nervous about speaking up in class.

this is true, actually! he’s somewhat socially anxious when he has to present things. he tends to over complicate things and make them more than they seem. when he’s presenting in front of the class, he’ll be much quieter and shy, but will try to give as much confidence as he can muster up.

his notes are very intricate and detailed. he uses different colored highlighters in his notes to signify what exactly each important note is. he also has nice handwriting.

when reviewing and studying his notes at home, he usuall has a straight forward plan for them. he’ll review the notes and look over them once before hiding them and quizzing himself. if he gets the answer right, he’ll move onto the next question. however, if he gets the answer wrong, he’ll study it and look over it carefully before trying again.

he loves individual projects! he loves to put his own creativity into whatever he does in his projects. usually, he can’t express those ideas as well when he’s in a group. he’ll love to pitch idea with them, though.

overall, koichi is a great student, very exemplorary and a good example to a lot of students who could use a little push in schooling.

okuyasu ;

okuyasu has a fond dislike of school. he’s not very smart, nor does he remember to do most of his work. though, his friends are always there to help him get back on track with his studies!

when he first gets to school, he’ll always be looking for josuke. he loves hanging out with him almost everyday. but he’ll also be looking for you when the thought comes to mind. he also loves spending his time with you, even more so tham his best pal josuke.

if he meets up with you first, he’s like a puppy craving affection. he’ll always be by yourself and wanting to hold your hand, which you allow. it’s so weird how he managed to get someone like you by his side, especially like this, but it’s something that he would never regret.

if he meets up with josuke, he’ll laugh along with him and talk to him about whatever was up with him. if nothing new had changed, he’ll say so and move onto a different topic. however, if something in his life changed, he’ll talk all about it in his usually funny ways. he’s very expressive with his body.

in class, he usually gets bored. it’s very noticeable on his face. sometimes, he can even fall asleep during the boring lessons and lectures that the teacher gives. he’ll get scolded for falling asleep, of course. but he really hates listening to them and would rather do anything else.

he never takes notes in class, only when he’s practically forced to. when he does take notes, it’s very rushed and scribbled down as fast as possible. he never thinks about studying this sort of stuff after school. after all, who needs it when you’ve got cool friends?!

he’s always playing with something on his desk, usually with the pencil that he sometimes brings to school. other times when he does forget it, he’ll play with the paper that the teacher has given him. if there’s a will, there’s a way, as everyone constantly says and knows. and there is a will to be distracted from class, that’s for sure!

his favorite period of the day is lunch, of course! he’s normally packed a nice lunch with him. though, it’s never usually enough. he’s always hungry even after his meal, trying to see if any of his friends are full and don’t want their meals.

he only really enjoys going to school because he gets to have fun with his friends. he loves them and would protect them with his life, just like he’s done in the past.

when he gets home from school, he never really does his work unless one of his friends help him. he’s not good at it, but he still wants to pass his grade! he isn’t really sure how he even made it up to this point without his friends help!

he’s totally not popular with most people. they think he’s not good looking or smart enough to hang around with. it’s a bad stigma to be around, but he really doesn’t mind it. just as long as he has his good few friends, he’s alright with any insults that are thrown his way. though, that doesn’t mean he won’t want to fight back. he just chooses not to.

he’s also really jealous of josuke sometimes, how many girls get to go up to him. but then again, he has an amazing partner like you. he wouldn’t trade anything in the world for you, so he’s glad that he doesn’t get much attention from anyone like that.

he never studies, not unless it’s woth friends. by himself, he tries to, but he ends up getting too distracted and does something else with his time instead. his mind doesn’t focus on one thing so easily.

he loves doing group projects. they motivate him so much to get the work done, especially when he sees his friends working around him. he’ll mostly follow their lead and work as much and as hard as he can.

sadly, though, individual projects aren’t the same. he’s always confused and always asks help from his friends, leading the project inevidibly turning into a grouo effort.

his teachers say nice things about his personality, but that’s about it. you can tell that they don’t expect much from okuyasu, but whatever good things that do come from him, they celebrate it in their own ways. they always commend him for being such a nice young man once you get to know him, however.

overall, he’s a much better person than a student. he’d rather do anything besides school work and isn’t too good with it, but with the help of his friends, he feels as though he can do anything! he also loves you very much.

jotaro ;

jotaro is a different story, really. he doesn’t know what to do in his high school years, always going back and forth between the idea of being a marine biologist and whatever else. he doesn’t know what’s in store for his future just yet.

regardless of not knowing that, he still tries his best to keep up with the work. even though he’s more of a delinquent than any of the young members of the dwang gang could ever be, he still manages to get exceptionally good grades. he’s actually one of the most intelligent in his classes!

throughout his high school years, he didn’t have many friends. the “friends” that he had, before the events of hunting dio down, had mostly abandoned him due to how scary and intimidating he seemed.

after, however, he did seem to have a reliable friend and a partner. you were always by his side and he could never ask for anything more, even if that is cheesy to admit.

he can always be found doing things that he’s not allowed to do in school. but he does them anyway. honestly, no one in the family knows why he turned out to be a delinquent after being such a cute child (from what family pictures holly had shown you). maybe it was him just going through a phase.

in class, he’s quiet, yet intimidating. he doesn’t take notes, as he knows that it would make him seem a little less cool. then again, you’re in his class and already know that he knows most of this stuff. he’s a dork for knowledge, after all. he loves learning, ironically!

when lunch comes around, he’s always hanging around with you. he’ll eat his lunch while trying to make sure that you’re safe, even when there isn’t any threat of anyone or anything around. he’s paranoid most of the time. though, after going to egypt, you guess that he has a right to be anxious.

he always does his homework when he comes home, only after his welcome home kisses (he’s embarrassed about it and will never say that he even gets them, let alone enjoy them.) and a snack from holly. for him, it’s fairly simple to do. he always manages to turn it in, even if he skips a class or something similar to that. you wonder how he’s able to do it sometimes. maybe with the help of star platinum? you have no idea.

everyone and their grandmothers also know that he’s very popular, particularly with women. they’re always trying to talk to him and gain his attention. though, he could really care less about them. it’s irritating to him, but they never seem to leave, even if he yells at them to go away. maybe they’re just immune to his threats.

he studies a lot at home. though, it’s about more advanced subjects. he has books upon books of study material, things that you don’t even know anything about yet. but when you come over, you’re always eager to learn about what he’s up to with those books.

when it comes to projects, he’s not the best at them. he doesn’t care for things like that. he only really cares about the grade, so he tries to make it simple and come up with a decent design. not very creative, but it’s something.

people would usually just offer to do the work for him in group projects. he knows that it’s because they think that he would beat them up if he didn’t make them do the work. or it’s because they’re genuinely nice people. he really doesn’t care, letting them do whatever they want.

his teachers don’t say too much about him, mostly in fear of him. of course, he won’t do anything to them, they’re his elders and that wouldn’t be respectful at all. he would just give them looks at the most. they do, however, think that he’s a very smart student and has potential for great things.

in college, he’s much more careful with his studies. this is the part that counts towards his degree in marine biology, after all. he needs to be perfect at everything he does in college.

he’s a good student in college, almost never missing a class and genuinely interested in the topics that are spoken about. he loves learning about all the different sciences and how to study a certain type of aquatic plant or animal.

sometimes, when coming up with his own scientific experiments, he’ll ask you to help him out. of course, you accept with open arms and help him to the best of your abilities. though, he wants you to be precise and orderly. it’s a bit hard to keep up with him!

generally, in high school, he’s mostly seen as a delinquent. but to you, he’s just a real big dork that loves learning. he’s very interested in sciences, specifically marine biology and later on, plans to make that his degree in college.

#jjba imagines #jjba #jojos #jojo #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jojo kimyou na bouken #imagines #character imagines #headcanons #student headcanons #students #josuke higashikata #josuke higashikata x reader #okuyasu nijimura #okuyasu nijimura x reader #koichi hirose #jotaro kujo #jotaro kujo x reader

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sailorsilverladybug · 4 years

Text

Now that it's all over, I wanted to let you in on the past couple of weeks of my life. It's been rather stressful and hectic, and some of it rather frightening, so please bear with me. I doubt this is a surprise to any of you, but we are living in the middle of a pandemic.

Unfortunately, it is not under control. Not even close. And while I won't go into politics in this venue, I will say that I am both angry with how this has been handled in my country, and afraid of what the future will bring.

So, here goes. Last week my sister-in-law convinced me to go with her into one of the nearby cities to shop and go to a local casino (which practices social distancing and refuses entry to anyone not wearing a mask). We had been out before, and I needed things for the house, so I went. And I had a blast. We had a lot of fun and just got to hang out and spend time doing girl things.

But this past Friday, the 14th, around mid-morning, I started feeling ill. I had a headache that was nothing like my migraines or a stress headache. It centered just behind my eyes. I started to have a runny nose and felt strangely out of touch with my surroundings. Worse, I started having trouble breathing. I told my husband, who called his work and warned them he might be infected. Then we started calling the local hospital to find out about testing.

We registered to get tested. The woman who registered us said there would be a sign on the side of the primary care physician's office that we should call when we got there Monday. Because we live in a tiny rural town, the hospital only does testing between 9:00 and 12:30, Monday through Friday.

We had to wait until Monday to get tested. An entire weekend, wondering if I was going to get sicker and sicker. With my pre-existing conditions I was sure if I had Covid-19, it would be a death sentence.

Added on top of that, my husband totally lost it when I tried to talk to him about my wishes if something happened to me. He absolutely refused to listen and for a moment I thought he was going to throw himself on the ground and throw a real fit like our son did once when he was small. So, I started putting everything in order, just in case. I spent most of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday putting together my own memorial service, just in case. I made written notes to doctors and made sure our life insurance was all set.

All of this took an even bigger toll on me than the continued headache and the congestion. Then, probably because of stress, I started feeling sick to my stomach. It wasn't pleasant. The stress got so overwhelming, and nothing wanted to go right, and I was just ready to tear my hair out and run down the street screaming. That would have been a rather embarrassing arrest, so I'm glad I had some self-control.

While we were waiting for the testing to start, I worked for several hours to put together a back-tracing list that had everywhere I had been for the last three weeks, where my husband had been, and even the places I knew my sister-in-law had gone. Then, on Monday morning, at just before eight, Steve and I left to go and get tested. Since we were afraid of exposing anyone else, we walked (and I walked up a very big hill almost completely without help!)

By this point, I firmly believed I didn't have Covid-19, but I wasn't about to take chances with anyone else's health and safety. So we got to the hospital, saw the sign on the side of the primary care physician's building, and made the call that we were there... except, we hadn't found the right sign. The one we were reading was the one ON the side of the building. Not AT the side of the building. So, after my husband discovered our mistake (forty minutes on hold later), we called the second number and waited for a response.

Now, I'll be honest here... by this time, I was hot, tired, afraid, and just plain mad. I held it together, but I'm pretty sure my diatribe on anyone refusing to wear masks was heard ten miles away. By the end of my rant, both the others waiting in their cars to be tested had rolled up their windows (it went on for a REALLY long time).

Then a nice gentleman came out. I turned to my husband in a panic and made him promise he wouldn't let me bite the poor guy (which is a tendency I have when I am in extreme pain and a doctor gets too close). He walked us through what would happen and I asked if he would let my husband hold my head, partly to avoid biting him, and partly because Steve just makes me feel better. The man agreed, Steve leaned my head against his chest, and I sat on my walker and waited with my eyes closed for the torture to begin.

I'll be honest, while it totally sucked, it wasn't quite as bad as I had made it in my head. It felt like he was trying to tickle my brain, and I think I begged him to stop and said "oh S***" A LOT, but in spite of the discomfort, I survived it. Watching Steve go through it a minute later was almost worse, because I knew how much it sucked. He had his hands fisted and was shaking the whole time. He was stoic about it, but afterwards, when I made the quip about tickling the brain, he said "more like drilling," and just shook his head.

The gentleman we had been speaking to (I call him a gentleman because he was incredibly kind and gentle) said we might have our results as early as today, which was both a surprise and a blessing, because without Steve going back to work, we weren't sure how we would even manage to get food next week, let alone pay our rent, electric, and other bills, or set money aside for winter heating.

We were on our way back when my sister-in-law (Steve's brother's wife) drove past. She yelled at us to stay where we were, and we did, because we were friggin' exhausted by this point. She picked us up and drove us home after taking her own test about ten minutes later.

So, we waited. Now, I'll be honest. By this point I was about 98% sure that none of us had Covid-19, but we didn't take chances. Steve works in a grocery store. Sometimes he is stocking shelves, sometimes running a register, and sometimes he is out at the fuel island (the store gas station) pumping gas for people, and taking their money. So we knew if he went to work he could expose a LOT of people. We were very careful.

At 9:00 on the dot this morning I received the phone call telling me that I was Covid-19 negative! I bounced in my seat through the whole call. She didn't have Steve's results yet, so we waited. Around eleven, my sister in-law got her results. And then around one Steve got his. None of us are infected, thankfully. Steve called his work and let them know he is free to return (not a moment too soon) and will be going back tomorrow.

In the meantime, all the things we couldn't do because we had to self-isolate need to be taken care of, including several errands like getting dog food. So he has been rushing around getting things done all afternoon. Then I sat down and started writing, because that is just how I process things. I put on some music and just let my fingers fly over the keyboard.

My week sort of sucked, but the bright side is, I don't have Covid-19. Now that you know that, it's time I got into a subject that has really been bothering me. If you don't want to read further, you don't have to, but I really wish you would, and that you would spread the message along.

Every single person who chooses to wear a mask in spite of the annoyance it causes, is a hero to me. Every one of you who has gone without going to the club, who hasn't been going to church, who hasn't done any of the other things that happen in big groups. All of you who have been frustrated, but who know that your actions can either protect or harm other people... You are all heroes. You make a difference. Just as much as necessary workers. Just as much as doctors and nurses. You are heroes.

For those of you who don't wear masks, social distance, or use proper protection procedures, I am begging you, don't let this disease take away what you hold dear. Be safe, be smart. Listen to the doctors and nurses. Listen to the people begging you to wear a mask. Don't put yourself (or your loved ones) through what I just experienced.

Each time you get out of your car to go in a store, put a fresh mask on. Each time you touch something that has been touched by other people, use hand sanitizer. Stay at LEAST six feet apart. Wash your hands constantly, and thoroughly, for at least 20 seconds. Avoid touching your face (or the outside of your used masks!) and be very careful.

You don't want to go through the worry and the fear that you might have been exposed. But more than that, you don't want to be worried that you gave Covid-19 to someone you love. Please, be careful, be kind, and be safe. I don't want to lose you from this world. Every single one of us is special and has a purpose. Don't let your light go out. Take care of yourselves, and the rest of us.

Now, I'm going to climb off my soap-box and go do something completely unrelated to death and dying for a few hours. I might play a video game, or write a funny story. I might blast some music and sing off-key (loudly). Who knows. All I know is, I've had enough of fear and death to last a lifetime.

I wish you all well. God bless you.

Tori

Sailor Silver Ladybug

9 notes · View notes

gwentoryfics · 4 years

Text

Hot for Teacher, Part 7.

Genre | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

Pairing | Reader x Hongseok x Hyunggu (Kino) x Wooseok

Words | 9.8k

Summary | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

Warnings | Swearing. Masturbation. Mentions of underage drinking. Uhhhh pining? Lol

Parts | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • 7 • More Coming Soon

Note | WOW this update took forever, but I feel like this is a super special part of the fic and I hope you all enjoy. PLEASE let me know which of the boys you’re rooting for - I’m trying to make it difficult (can you tell) and I really want to see how you’re all feeling 😏😏 love you, peaches!

Wooseok plops onto Yuto’s couch, tucking his bowl of fresh-out-of-the-oven pizza rolls between his knees as he picks up his gaming controller.

“You know those things are terrible for you.” Yuto criticizes the snack choice as he resumes the video game, skillfully ducking around a corner to avoid being shot.

“Yeah but they’re fucking delicious, so suck my ass.” Wooseok patiently waits for the food to cool off, not ready for the inside of his mouth to get burnt to hell. “Stop stocking your fridge with pizza rolls if you don’t want me to eat them.”

Yuto shoots Wooseok’s avatar twice in the back and once in the head until he collapses. “I only do it because you’d complain about how I ‘never have anything good to eat.’”

“What the fuck, dude? Friendly fire!”

“You literally stood right in front of me and blocked my sight. Make better decisions.”

Wooseok finally bites into his cheesy pepperoni pizza bite as he waits to respawn, and it’s lava on his tongue. With a hiss, he tries to cool his mouth. Eventually says, “Speaking of bad decisions…”

“What did you do this time?”

“Remember how you talked to me about _____…”

“Wooseok, you fucking idiot.” Yuto seethes. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“It was her idea! I literally apologized for, like, making out with her and fingering her and stuff. And she was just like, nah it’s cool, let’s be friends with benefits.” He pops another one in his mouth and it’s just as hot as the last one. “I wasn’t gonna say no to that, so we hooked up. Also I’m not supposed to tell you about it so keep your mouth shut.”

Yuto pauses the game again just so he can look Wooseok in the face and express his full disdain. “Friends with benefits? As in, no romantic feelings?”

“Right.”

“...So does she know that you like her?”

Wooseok frowns. Yeah, he thinks she’s hot as fuck and she’s super cool and fun to be around, but he’s not, like, in love with her or anything. “I’m not even in it that deep! It’s totally fine, and we’re just having fun. So what if I’ve got a little crush.”

“It’s not going to be just a crush if you keep sleeping with her.”

“You know, at some point you need to stop parenting me and just let me do what I’m gonna do. Just trust my judgment for once and if I end up being wrong, that’s my problem to deal with.”

“If you’re wrong, then I have to listen to you whine and complain about your broken heart.” Yuto is unrelenting in his disapproval. “You know that she probably won’t reciprocate your feelings if she ever finds out.”

Against his better judgment, Wooseok accidentally holds out hope that she could. “We don’t even know that she won’t. It’s just a hunch that she might like Kino. I could be totally wrong about that.”

“And if she does like Kino?”

Wooseok chews his bottom lip, his brows pinching together. “Then it is what it is.”

“What is that?” Yuto points at Wooseok’s face. “What’s that look? Are you sad? Is this sadness?”

“Shut the fuck up, Yuto,” he grumbles. Yeah, he’d be fucking disappointed if she and Kino turned out to be a thing. But it’s not really up to him to decide who she likes.

Yuto eases up just a little, showing his soft spot for Wooseok. “I can’t let you walk into this mess. You have to stop this. Either quit it with the hook ups, or come clean about liking her.”

“But I-”

“No ‘buts.’ It has to stop. And what the fuck, Wooseok?” Yuto frowns. “You’re supposed to keep this all a secret, but you’re telling me anyway?”

“You know I can’t keep secrets. I just need you, my one and only confidante, to know about this shit. Although I don’t even know if I can call you that anymore,” Wooseok turns the blame to Yuto. “Now that I know you went and told _____ not to get involved with me because I might get hurt.”

Suddenly there’s a knock at Yuto’s door, and he groans, completely ignoring the issue Wooseok just brought up. “Do you think we can pretend I’m not home?”

Wooseok’s petty side comes out and he yells, “Who is it?”

Yuto elbows him. “What the fuck, dude?”

With a shrug, Wooseok defends himself. “You kind of deserved that.”

Through the door, a female speaks. “It’s Nailah, I just need to talk for a second.”

“Ooo, who’s Nailah?” Wooseok prods, a stupid grin on his face as he looks at Yuto.

Yuto tosses his head back, resigning himself to having to get up and socialize. “She lives across the hall with _____, coincidentally.” He makes his way to the door, and Wooseok follows him like a little puppy.

“_____’s your neighbor? Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Why would I when I know you’re just gonna try some dumb shit?” He throws open the door, bluntly addressing their visitor. “Yes?”

Nailah seems unbothered by his rude greeting. “Hey, Yuto. I just wanted to extend an invitation. I’m throwing _____ a birthday party at my friend’s place on Saturday, and I figured it’d be cool if you came.” She hands him a hand-written invite.

“_____’s birthday?” Wooseok chimes, inserting himself into the conversation. “Wait I think I know you.”

Nailah nods casually. “Yeah, we ran into each other before, I think. _____ brought me to that party that got busted at your place.”

“Oh shit, yeah.” Wooseok chuckles. “Was a good night ‘til it wasn’t.”

“How much trouble did you get in?”

“It wasn’t awful. I just couldn’t do clubs for a few weeks and I had to write a paper about how I’m going to make more responsible decisions.”

Yuto crosses his arms over his chest. “Clearly that made an impact on you.”

“Shut up.” Wooseok nudges him before changing the subject in a way that doesn’t really change the subject. “Is _____ home?”

“Yeah, but- hey!” Nailah steps back as Wooseok pushes past her, taking all of two strides to reach her apartment door.

“_____!” He knocks on the door, rapping a quick rhythm. “Open up!”

He turns back to Nailah. “Is the party a secret?”

“No, she-”

“_____! I wanna go to your birthday party!” Wooseok knocks again, and this time she opens the door.

She looks a little bewildered to see him, but she’s wearing a smile that’s just honest to God the cutest thing in the whole damn world. “Fine, you can come,” she laughs.

Wooseok tries not to be distracted by the memories of last night, but her messy hair is too much of a reminder. He pushes through the urge to come on to her, but only because he doesn’t wanna make a scene. “Were you not gonna invite me?”

“Of course I was. I was gonna bring your invitation to R&B Ensemble tomorrow.”

“Okay, good.” Wooseok leans against the doorframe, sliding a hand into his pocket in an attempt to look cool. “So your birthday’s Saturday?”

“No, it’s Tuesday.”

“Cool, cool.” He keeps his face fixed in a relaxed expression and delivers a promise that he’s not quite sure how to fulfill. “Look forward to a bomb ass present.”

“Dude, you don’t have to get me anyth-”

“Nope. We’re buds. You’re getting a present. Don’t you worry about that, short stuff.” He’s not at all subtle as he winks at her, and her eyes flash, a flirty grin on her face.

“Watch it,” she whispers, trying not to raise suspicion from Nailah and Yuto.

“It’s fine,” he speaks lowly, not concerned by their audience but still trying to keep a low profile for her sake. He knows he’s going to get a talking-to as soon as he returns to Yuto’s room, anyway. “You look hot today, by the way.”

Without missing a beat, she sasses, “When don’t I?”

“Good point.” He can’t hold back his laughter at her bold statement. “Alright, I’ll let you get back to doing whatever you were doing.”

“Okay,” she giggles. “See you tomorrow.”

He gives a two-finger salute as she closes the door, then turns back to Nailah. “Make sure I’m on the guest list. I’m RSVP-ing right the fuck now.”

“Great.” Nailah just stares at him with wide, questioning eyes. She’ll probably have some questions for _____ after this, but he’s trusting her to handle it however she wants.

Yuto’s got a flame of frustration in his gaze as he stares Wooseok down. “I’ll be there, too.”

And Nailah seems fully unsure of what to make of all of this. She looks between them both for a moment before heading back to her room. “Great. See you goons Saturday.”

Wooseok doesn’t fight the name-calling, and Yuto is far too focused on his idiot of a best friend to be bothered by the insult. He follows Wooseok back into the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

“Before you say anything,” Wooseok defends himself, “I just want to remind you how much I love parties. I heard there was a party and, like, my inner party monster just took over, and I had to make sure I was invited.”

“Quit the bullshit.” Yuto’s calm aura makes him even more intimidating. “What was all of that?”

Wooseok can’t help the sheepish grin that forms on his face as he tries to lighten the mood. “She seemed kind of into me, right?”

“Oh my God I’m going to beat some fucking sense into you.” Yuto threatens, but Wooseok knows it’s empty.

“Whatever.” Wooseok falls back onto the couch. “Are we playing or what?”

With a deep sigh, Yuto joins him. “Let’s do it.”

Hongseok’s favorite place to run is along the water. It’s so peaceful to watch the boats and hear the soft waves of the lake as it laps along the shore. Not to mention, the striking difference between the fluidity of the water next to the sharp, structured skyscrapers is a dichotomy that he finds profoundly intriguing.

Now that the temperatures are dropping, only the truly dedicated still run the lake trail. It’s windy and brisk, but Hongseok has always preferred running in cooler weather, anyway. Feels a little less like he could die of heat stroke.

The rock music coming through his headphones suddenly changes to his ringtone, and he slows to a gentle jog as he checks the phone strapped to his bicep. Hwitaek’s name appears on the screen, and he smiles as he swipes to answer.

“Hwitaek! Hey!” Hongseok falls into a walking pace to make it easier to talk. “Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“I know! We’ve both been busy, I guess.” Hwitaek sounds glad that he answered.

“Right, how’s married life?” Now that he thinks about it, Hongseok’s not sure that he’s really talked to Hwitaek too much since the wedding. He headed back to the city before Hwitaek and Jiyoo returned from their honeymoon, so he had to say his goodbye at the reception. They’ve both kind of missed each other since.

“You know it’s really pretty weird, but in a good way. If that makes sense.” Hwitaek chuckles. “I feel like I know Jiyoo better than anybody, and it seemed like we were already so close that marriage wouldn’t really change much. But it really does make the whole relationship feel different. More official, you know.”

“A little slip of paper and a tax break can really do that much, huh.”

“I know you’re skeptical, Hong, but love can be whatever you want it to be. Maybe for us it’s the ceremony, the certificate, the too-expensive dress, the whole nine yards. But you don’t have to avoid relationships just because that’s not the kind of love you want.”

“I’m not avoiding relationships,” Hongseok scoffs. “I’m just busy.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself to be able to sleep at night,” Hwitaek concedes.

Hongseok hates to admit it, but there is a seed of truth to what Hwitaek’s saying. He’s never been a fan of traditional love - it just feels ingenuine. Like everyone is following a script, just doing and saying the things they’re supposed to. He wants it to actually mean something when he does a gesture like planning a day together or giving a gift. He’s not going to buy flowers just because that’s what guys do. That’s not how he is.

With a sigh, Hongseok says, “If something happens eventually and I fall deeply in love with whomever it is, then fine. It happens. But I’m in no rush. It was nice enough for me to watch you do the whole marriage thing.”

“So when it does happen, I think you know that I’m expecting to be the best man,” Hwitaek says indignantly. “It’s only fair.”

“Would Jiyoo be okay sending you off to my bachelor party?” Hongseok laughs just imagining the fit she would throw. He was much more of a partier during their college days than Hwitaek was, and he’s positive Jiyoo would prefer for her adult husband to behave himself.

Hwitaek’s voice is noticeably softer as he says, “I’ll do what I want. I don’t need her approval.”

“Is she nearby? Is that why you said that so quietly?”

“Yes and yes. But you’re my best friend so I’ll make it work.”

“A true brother.” Hongseok smiles warmly as he pauses to stretch his legs. Damn, he misses hanging out with Hwitaek.

“So, actually the reason why I called…” Hwitaek smoothly changes the subject. “Um, just out of curiosity - maybe this is none of my business - have you been talking with Minseo at all?”

“Minseo?” The name doesn’t immediately ring a bell.

“Yeah, Jiyoo’s cousin. Kind of tall. Loud. Really nice teeth, though.”

Hongseok struggles to come up with a face to match the name. “I don’t think I know her.”

“Wait, I’ll send a picture. She was just over last night.” A moment later, “Okay, check your phone.”

He pulls the phone out of the case strapped to his arm and opens the message to find a somewhat familiar face resting on Jiyoo’s shoulder.

The face of the girl that convinced him to dance with _____ at the wedding.

She’s the only one who actually knows what happened that night.

Christ.

“I do recognize her.” Hongseok tries to keep his voice steady so as not to give away that he’s hiding a secret. “Why are you asking about her?”

“I was just wondering if something might be going on. Or if she might be pestering you. I don’t know, like I said she’s just kind of a big personality and I just wanted to make sure she’s not, I don’t know, trying to get with you or something.”

“Why would you think that?” Surely that’s incredibly far from the truth, and it strikes him as odd that Hwitaek would have that impression.

“She just keeps asking about you. She wants to know what you were like in college, what your relationship history is like, whether you cook. Just really random stuff and I don’t know why she’d care unless she were into you.”

What Hwitaek doesn’t know is that the only possible reason why she’d be asking all of those questions is because she’s trying to share the information with _____. That’s it. That’s why.

Does that mean _____ has been trying to find out more about him? Has she tasked Minseo with a spy mission?

Hongseok rubs his temple, gripping his phone tightly. He really should tell Hwitaek what’s up, even if he doesn’t want to own up to what happened. Walking towards the water, he finds himself a place in the grass to sit. “She’s not asking for herself. She’s asking for _____.”

Hwitaek, the poor ignorant bastard, asks, “Why would she do that?”

Here it comes. With a single deep breath, he finally sets the truth free. “I slept with her after the reception.”

“With _____?” Hwitaek is audibly shocked. “You slept with Jiyoo’s cousin? At our wedding?”

“After the wedding, okay? Jeez. It’s not like we fucked while you were at the altar.” Hongseok defends himself. “I even made a point to say goodbye to you beforehand to officially end the night, so really the whole situation is completely removed from the ceremony.”

There’s a lot of noise coming over the phone, because Jiyoo very obviously heard Hwitaek say the whole you slept with Jiyoo’s cousin? thing. Hongseok’s head falls back in dread. That’s a whole can of worms he was not prepared to open.

“Just put me on speaker phone and I’ll explain.”

Immediately, Jiyoo’s voice responds. “You slept with _____? My baby cousin?”

Hwitaek jumps to his defense. “Don’t sound so disgusted! Hongseok’s not a bad guy!”

She retorts, “He had a one night stand with my sweet little _____. She’s not that kind of girl.”

“She certainly was that night.” The words come out of Hongseok’s mouth before he can stop them.

“HONGSEOK!” Jiyoo screeches.

He just frowns as he hears Hwitaek frantically try to calm Jiyoo down. “Buckle up, you guys, because the story’s not over.”

“Don’t tell me it happened more than once. Please.” Jiyoo’s voice is lined with an unspoken threat.

“It hasn’t, I swear.” Another sigh as he gears up for the last bit. “We haven’t done anything but talk. But you two should know that she’s one of my students.”

Jiyoo doesn’t say a word, which somehow makes it worse. Hwitaek speaks up instead. “I didn’t even realize that she went to your school.”

“Neither did I.” Hongseok rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms before returning his gaze to the water, shimmering in the bright sunlight. “I wouldn’t have touched her if I knew. But she and I had a conversation, and we agreed that nothing can happen between us again. The class is strictly business. Neither one of us wants to risk getting in trouble with the school for misconduct.”

Sassily, Jiyoo’s voice returns. “So he has a brain after all.”

“Sweetie, come on. Cut him some slack,” Hwitaek pleads. “Yeah, it wasn’t a great idea to sleep with her, but it happened and it’s over. There’s no use getting so worked up about it.”

Even with Hwitaek defending him, Hongseok can’t just sit there and take this. “Stop acting like I’m the villain and she’s some innocent victim. She’s capable of making her own choices. I didn’t force her into anything. It was fully consensual, and now we’re both handling the situation like mature adults.”

That may be a bit of a stretch. He’s done nothing but ridicule her for acting like a child since the semester started. But he’ll stick up for her if it means getting Jiyoo off their case.

“My apologies.” Jiyoo comes off much softer. “I need to take a moment to let this all sink in.”

Hongseok hears her leave the room, and then Hwitaek’s voice is much clearer as he turns off the speakerphone. “Don’t worry about her. She’ll settle down.”

Hongseok lets himself take a deep breath, feeling much safer now that he can talk with only his friend. “I just needed to tell you that. I think Minseo might be digging for more information about me to share with _____, because she knows what happened between us. And she knows that I’m _____’s professor.”

“Are you handling all of this okay? It sounds like a really tricky situation to be in.”

“It’s… hard. It’s really difficult. I’ve been really cold to her just to prevent anyone from thinking I might be biased in any way, but that’s just caused so much tension. And then she just does stuff sometimes that’s so cute…” His memory flashes back to the time she sang Aerosmith in his office, and then the song played in class and she started laughing. It was just so endearing. “Do you think I can stop being attracted to her? That would make everything so much easier.”

“I don’t think there’s a real answer for that, Hong. In my experience, you’re usually just attracted to the people you’re attracted to, and that’s that.” Hwitaek attempts to reassure him, but it’s useless. Especially when he follows up with the most problematic question he could’ve asked: “Do you have feelings for her?”

Hongseok pulls his knees in towards his chest, tucking his head down and effectively curling into a ball. He’s been trying so hard to avoid all of this and now he has no choice but to just confront whatever it is that’s been going on in his head and his heart. He’s felt attracted to her ever since he first laid eyes on her, but could it be anything more than that?

The night they spent together was nothing short of incredible, and he fondly remembers the way she so warmly looked up at him in the moments before he kissed her, the soft touch of her lips overwhelming his senses and driving his desire for more.

Even though the nature of their relationship is obviously very different now, he still sees flickers of that warmth in her. He sees the way she absentmindedly bites her lip when she’s thinking, and the small taste he’s gotten of her ridiculous sense of humor makes him wonder just how great they could be together.

If only she were older.

If only she weren’t his student.

Hongseok can’t even pretend that he wouldn’t be interested in her if the circumstances were different. He knows that under different circumstances he would certainly try to date her, because he already tried the night they were together.

He gave her his phone number with the boutonniere. He gave her the opportunity to reach out and establish something more than just that one night, but she didn’t do it. That’s part of the reason why he was so frustrated to see her in class - it’s one thing that they slept together, but it’s entirely different to know that he expressed an interest in seeing her again and she rejected him.

And now he has to watch her work admirably hard in class once a week and pretend like it doesn’t make his chest ache.

Forever reticent, he seeks a way to keep his thoughts to himself. “Do I have to answer that question?”

“That response says a lot.” Hwitaek sighs. “It might feel better to just get it off your chest and say it out loud.”

“Nope. Saying it just makes it harder to ignore.” Hongseok peeks up from the crook of his elbow, finally starting to feel chilly now that he’s been sitting for so long. He stands and briefly stretches his quads, getting ready to continue his run.

Hwitaek tries to encourage him. “Well the most important thing in this situation is that you just get through the rest of the semester without acting on it. And then she won’t be around anymore, and you’ll be able to move past it.”

“You’re right. I just have to make it to the end of the semester.”

“And that’s not so far away, right? You’re probably about halfway by now.”

“Midterms were about two weeks ago, so yeah, we’re nearly there.”

“See? You’ve got this.” Hwitaek sounds cheery as he motivates his best friend. “I’m rooting for you. I think it’ll all turn out fine. It’ll continue to be difficult for a little bit, but it’ll pass.”

Hongseok lets out a deep sigh, feeling some sense of relief for the first time in months. “I should have told you about this a long time ago. Thanks for looking out for me.”

It seems like Hwitaek is also a bit relieved after this conversation. “I’m glad that we got to talk.”

Hongseok smiles, returning to the path he had been running. “Go take care of Jiyoo, okay? And if you want, it’s okay to tell Minseo that you two know. I’ll leave that up to you. But don’t tell anyone else.”

No matter how hard he tries, Kino simply cannot stop thinking about Saturday night. Something about holding her hand completely captured his whole consciousness and he could think of nothing except the feeling of their fingers intertwined and his lips on her forehead.

He had probably gone too far by kissing her like that, but it just felt right, even though they’re only friends. He just feels so comfortable with her, and it’s easy for him to get wrapped up in the moment. She hasn’t seemed interested in anything more than friendship, especially after that whole dirty voicemail incident, but she also didn’t seem to be bothered by the kiss. If anything, he distinctly remembers the cute way she looked up at him right after he did it, like she was surprised but definitely not opposed.

There’s only one way to find out for sure what she thinks… but he’s not ready to have that conversation yet.

As he waits in the lobby of her dorm building to walk with her to R&B Ensemble, he tries to at least clear his head. He has something important to ask her, and he doesn’t want it to accidentally come out awkward.

He stands there, trying not to pace, and he notices how much lighter he feels the second he spots her coming off of the elevator. She waves cheerfully when she sees him waiting there.

“Hey!” She greets him as she approaches. “Sorry to keep you waiting. Was trying to wrap up that aural skills homework.”

“You know it’s not due until Wednesday, there’s no rush on it,” he chuckles. She’s such a go-getter.

“Well yeah, but tomorrow’s my birthday and I don’t want it to be full of homework. So I’m knocking it out now.”

Kino sucks in a breath and bites his knuckle, grimacing. “Ah, I completely forgot about your birthday, shoot…” It’s a total lie, but he just wants to get her worked up.

She deflates a little, but it’s hardly noticeable. “That’s okay. I didn’t expect you to remember or anything. I probably only brought it up once.”

“_____, I’m teasing! Of course I remember!” Kino nudges her playfully. “You’re like, my closest friend. How could I forget?”

With a shy smile, she loops her arm in his, and they head out into the cold. “That’s right.”

“Do you have anything planned for tomorrow?”

“Just class, actually. Nailah’s organizing a party for Saturday, though, and you have to come! I have your official invitation in my backpack. I’ll give it to you when we get to rehearsal.”

“I can totally be there Saturday.” Kino immediately agrees.

“Good. It’ll be a shitty birthday party if you’re not there.” She tugs on his arm, and it makes his cheeks grow warm.

He takes a deep breath now that it’s his turn to extend an invitation. “Okay, so if you don’t have any plans for tomorrow night, you should be able to come to the birthday dinner reservation I have for you and me downtown. Right?” He hates that he can’t keep eye contact, but he just can’t get himself to look at her while it feels like he’s asking her on a date.

But it’s not a date, exactly. It’s just a nice dinner. Between friends. For a birthday.

Totally regular stuff.

She scoffs. “Well I guess I have to if you made a reservation and everything.”

Kino pulls his scarf closer around his chin and jaw, trying to block out some of the cold wind. “I mean you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. Don’t feel like you don’t have a choice…”

“Kino, stop. I’d love to go to dinner with you. It better be a nice place, though. I’m a woman of taste.”

“Says the girl who downed a whole family size bag of salt and vinegar chips in one sitting.” Kino cringes at the memory. Even the smell of the chips made him shrivel up in disgust.

“Okay you’re the one with a suffering palate. Salt and vinegar chips are the bomb.”

“Gross.”

They spend the whole walk to class bickering about food tastes, and it’s a completely pointless conversation, but he’s fully invested because it feels meaningful when it’s her.

When they enter the rehearsal room, they’re both full of smiles and laughter, but his smile fades when he locks eyes with Wooseok. The tall drummer is standing next to Yuto, and he seems less than thrilled to see Kino with _____. He looks a little disappointed, actually.

Kino gets himself set up with the other singers while she heads over to the rhythm section, and Wooseok’s expression changes as he playfully greets her, pulling her into a headlock and messing up her hair. She squirms and laughs, and Kino tries desperately to pretend like their interaction doesn’t bother him.

He stops paying attention until she comes up to him with a little envelope in her hand.

“Here,” she hands it to him. “That’s for Saturday. Wooseok and Yuto are coming, and so is my friend Shinhye. You’ve met her before.”

“Yeah I remember her.” Kino nods.

“And some of Nailah’s friends will be there too, since they’re hosting the party. We all thought it would be a good idea to have the party off campus, since there’ll be booze.” She grins impishly. “It’s gonna be fun.”

Kino laughs. “I bet. I’ll be there for sure.”

“Awesome.” She squeezes his arm. “And honestly, I’m seriously looking forward to dinner tomorrow. It’s super sweet of you to make dinner plans.”

“No problem.” He tells himself to smile confidently so she doesn’t see how flustered he is. “Just make sure you’re wearing something nice and I’ll come get you around 5:45.”

“Sounds great.” With one last squeeze, she heads back to her part of the room.

This time when Kino catches Wooseok’s gaze, he doesn’t stop smiling.

It’s just another class. Just another Tuesday morning. That’s what Hongseok tells himself, anyway. But when she shows up, he immediately realizes that this is actually a very special Tuesday.

Shinhye’s trying to convince her of something, as they walk through the door, but she refuses. And then Shinhye turns to Hongseok.

“Professor Yang! It’s _____’s birthday today,” Shinhye announces as she holds up a piece of silky fabric with ‘Birthday Girl’ embroidered on it. “Can you tell her that she has to wear this sash for class?”

The birthday girl averts her eyes, clearly unwilling to participate in whatever Shinhye’s trying. As flatly as possible, he comes to her rescue with an incredibly practical excuse. “No birthday sashes. It’s a hazard around the power tools.”

A perfect smile breaks across her lips as she finally looks up at him. She holds his gaze for a moment, and it’s really a beat too long before she finally turns back to Shinhye. “See? Now put it away.”

The girls walk off to their spot in the back of the room, and he forces himself to focus on his computer to keep himself from looking back at her. There’s something especially magnetic about her today, but maybe it’s just because he knows that it’s her birthday.

When he has today’s workshop playlist set, he looks around the room and realizes that the birthday sash would have been the least concerning part of her clothing choices. The olive colored v-neck sweater she wears draws his gaze directly to her chest, and he knows today is going to be more challenging than usual.

He wishes he could just avoid her during class, but he needs to make sure all of his students get the help they need. Most of them don’t know anything about sawing, sanding, or the appropriate way to use wood glue, and he needs every kid in this class to leave the room with all of their fingers intact.

Inevitably, he makes his way back to her after weaving through the room and helping other students with their projects along the way. A few pieces of wood that will eventually become the body of her instrument lay on the table in front of her. He helps her select the right grit of sandpaper to sand down the edges of the pieces she finished cutting for the top and bottom of her dulcimer. The last big piece of her project build is to bend the side pieces into the hourglass shape she wants her instrument to have.

He had to bring in his bending iron just for her, since literally every other student wanted to do simple instruments with straight sides. It’s not a difficult process, but it’s a little tedious.

Hongseok picks up one of the side pieces and walks her over to the bending iron. “So the shape that you want is going to require three bends in the wooden piece. Here, here, and here.” With a pencil, he marks the two spots where the wood should curve out towards the top and bottom, and the spot in the middle where it should curve in. “You don’t have to be perfect with this, but work on getting the general shape.”

She just nods attentively. He tries desperately not to look at her for fear that he might accidentally look down her sweater. Thankfully, it’s fairly easy to do as he demonstrates how to use the iron.

With a wide, clean paint brush, he brushes water onto the first spot they’ll bend. “First, you want to make sure that the wood is wet before you bend it. The water turns to steam from the heat of the iron, and that’s what bends the fibers in the wood. You’ll have to reapply water pretty regularly to keep it from getting dry. Then you just rock the wood over the iron like this.” He shows her how to slowly work the wood. “The iron does get really hot, so keep your hands at a safe distance, and just apply a bit of pressure. Not too much, though, or you might crack the wood.”

“Got it.” She nods again, observing.

He takes a moment to get a bit of a bend started, and then hands the wood to her. “It’s going to take some time, so you just need to be patient. Rushing the process will just damage the wood.”

“Okay. I’ll be careful.”

Hongseok’s not sure why, but it almost sounds like she’s reassuring him that she’ll be okay. He wasn’t trying to come across as being protective, because he gives all of his students the same warnings whenever he shows them a new tool. But he just nods. “Give it a try.”

She steps up to the iron, wets the wood, and starts mimicking his rocking movements.

“Keep the edge of the wood parallel with the back of the iron, otherwise the bend is going to be crooked.”

She follows his instructions. “Like this?”

“Exactly. You can even use just a touch more pressure. If you don’t use enough, the wood won’t bend.” He resists the urge to reach over and show her, reminding himself that he needs to keep his distance.

“Just gotta find that happy medium,” she chuckles, and the lighthearted sound makes him smile.

“That’s it.”

She presses down on the wood a little harder, and her form looks good. “How soon should I re-wet it?”

“You can give it a few minutes. So just do that until you’ve got a nice curve going for the lower body, and then you can do the waist and the upper body, in that order. You might not get to all of it today because you want to give the wood some time to cool between each bend.”

He loves sharing his craft with his students, but there’s something different about sharing it with her. It just feels so intimate to share such an important piece of his life with her in this setting, and her genuine interest in the subject only makes him want to share it with her more.

At the end of the day, he knows that it’s only because he’s slept with her. Every little interaction feels sexually and emotionally charged. She’s just so attractive in both looks and personality, and he’s drawn to her over and over again.

But he can’t let himself give in to whatever it is that he’s feeling for her. Hwitaek’s advice rings in his head and he reminds himself that he only needs to get through a few more weeks before the semester is over.

He can avoid the temptation for at least that long.

“Seriously, Kino, this place is amazing,” _____ gushes, taking the last big bite of her steak, savoring each chew and talking with her mouth full. “Jesus, this steak is fucking delicious.”

Kino covers his mouth as he laughs, trying to maintain some semblance of maturity. They’re at an incredibly fancy restaurant, after all - one that he’s certainly spending way too much money at, but it’s worth it for her - and he doesn’t want to make a scene when it’s clear that they’re just two dumb college kids trying to have an experience.

“Maybe you should swallow first before you talk,” he comments.

“That’s what he said.” She doesn’t miss a beat, making it even harder for Kino to keep his composure.

“No,” Kino nudges her leg under the table with his foot, softly lecturing her. “Bad.”

“Kino, are you trying to play footsie with me?” She nudges him back, playfully teasing.

She’s been in particularly high spirits all night, and he’s trying to convince himself that it’s only because of her birthday. Everything has been borderline flirtatious since he picked her up from the dorms.

“Stop it,” Kino gives her a warning look, but he’s still smiling. “You’re just asking for trouble.”

She smiles and takes a sip of her water. “I’m just having fun. Thank you for taking me out tonight, Kino. I’m having a blast.”

“I am, too.” He feels his cheeks unintentionally grow warm.

“Good! I’m gonna use the bathroom. I bet they’ve got bathroom attendants and everything in a place like this.” She gets up from the table and heads off to the bathroom, the skirt of her dress clinging to every curve as she walks and making Kino way more flustered than he should be. When he had told her to dress up, he hadn’t quite expected her to wear something so… hot.

It’s not a big deal, he sees dancers clad in tight clothing every day. But it’s her, and that makes it different.

While she’s gone, he flags down their waiter. “Excuse me, it’s my friend’s birthday today. Could we get a dessert?”

“We have a chocolate lava cake that she’d likely enjoy. We can even write a Happy Birthday message on the plate for you.”

“That sounds perfect! Thank you.”

As the waiter heads off with his special order, Kino notices _____’s phone on the table, lighting up as multiple messages come in. He’s not a snooper by any means, but when his eye catches Wooseok’s name as the sender, he can’t help but feel curious. She hasn’t said anything more to Kino about Wooseok since the night she came over drunk, but he never pried. He always figured that she’d share whatever she felt comfortable sharing.

The previews of the messages give away everything he needs to know, though - the number of eggplant and winky emojis that comes across is enough to make him feel embarrassed. That has to mean something’s happening between them, right?

A sense of dread suddenly sets in. Maybe this was all too much, and it’s going to come across like he’s romancing her when she’s already involved with somebody else. He doesn’t want to be that guy, if that’s already the case. Ordering that dessert was definitely too much… ah, he definitely shouldn’t have done that…

No, it’s fine. It’s just a cake, and it’s her birthday! He’s just being a good friend. That’s all. He’s just a good friend.

_____ reappears right in the middle of his internal debate. “I was right! There was a lady in there, and she squirted soap into my hands and then dried ‘em off with a cloth towel after I washed up.”

“Wow,” he breathed, forcing out a small chuckle. “That’s fancy.”

“Right?” She takes her seat, and the cake comes out shortly after. There’s no song because this restaurant is clearly too classy to have the waiters sing. But the joy on _____’s face is absolutely precious, and he’s glad that he ordered the cake after all.

“Kino! Did you do this when I was in the bathroom?” She surveys her plate in awe, with the beautiful chocolate sauce message and the strawberry slices atop the chocolate-drizzled lava cake.

“Yeah. We can’t have a real birthday dinner without cake, can we?”

“Kino… This is so sweet…” She looks like she’s getting a little choked up, but she manages a smile. “You’re the best friend I could’ve asked for. Thank you so much for doing all of this for me.”

“You’re welcome, _____. Happy Birthday.” He smiles wide, pretending like his whole chest hadn’t painfully tightened at the word friend.

It’s fine. This is what he wants. He’s just her friend.

After they wrap up their meal and he pays the astronomic check - still worth it for his best friend, he reminds himself - they hop on the bus and head back towards their dorms.

“I’m actually coming to your building,” she announces as the bus pulls up to their stop. “Wooseok said he has a birthday present for me, so I’m going to stop by.”

“Ah, okay.” Kino tries to seem cool about it, but he just has to say something. “He’s seemed pretty flirty with you recently, don’t you think?”

“Wooseok?” She lets out a laugh and they step out onto the sidewalk, heading for the dorm building. “Nah, he’s just like that. He’s playful, you know?”

Kino hums. “Yeah, I guess he is.” He holds the door open for her, and they pile into the elevator together, each pressing buttons for their respective floors.

“Thanks again for tonight, I seriously had so much fun.” She pulls Kino into a tight hug that lasts just a bit longer than it probably should. But he holds her, completely willing to keep her there as long as she wants. When the door opens and she finally pulls away, she parts with the cutest smile. “Next time, don’t wait for a special occasion to get dinner with me.”

He lets himself smile, even though he’s fully aware that he’s filling with false hope. “Okay.”

Wooseok crosses his arms over his chest as he surveys his handiwork. He didn’t mean to make her gift so romantic. When he had considered what to do for her birthday, he thought to himself, you know what’s cool? Fuckin pillow forts. It was supposed to be something fun but like, there’s no way that she’ll see what he’s done and say wow, thanks for this pal, you’re really just a true friend, let me just casually suck your dick now.

Not that a blow job is expected. He just likes to think about it sometimes.

Anyway, he knows nothing sexual is gonna happen between them tonight unless she doesn’t care that his roommate is home. Wooseok had tried to get him to go somewhere else, but Minho was adamant that he was staying in and going to bed early, since his Wednesday 8am class regularly kicks his butt.

Briefly, he considers tearing it all down, but she’s going to be here any moment and he doesn’t want to be empty handed after promising her a cool gift.

Hopefully she’ll like it and it won’t be weird.

Right on cue, there’s a knock at his apartment door, signaling her arrival. Wooseok ducks into the bathroom for just a moment to check his hair before giving himself a weird look in the mirror. Why is he concerned with looking good? He’s not, like, trying to impress her or anything. It’s just casual.

He pushes his hand through his hair once before deciding it’s fine, and he heads for the door. She looks super cute in her dress, her jacket hanging open to reveal the tight fabric clinging to her curves. It immediately makes him think of the time she showed up and handed him her panties - which he safely stored in his underwear drawer, because that just makes sense - and it nearly gets him hard on the spot.

“Hey,” she glows as she smiles up at him.

“Is that dress comfortable?”

She raises an eyebrow suggestively. “Why, you want me to take it off?”

“I’d definitely never say no to that, but… just a sec. Cover your eyes.”

“...Okay.” She gives him a quizzical look before holding her hands up to her eyes. He guides her into the apartment and directs her into the bathroom.

“Just a sec.” He flicks on the light and closes the door.

She laughs from the other side. “What are you doing?”

“Just hang on!” Wooseok shouts as he dips into the bedroom, where Minho is diligently reading his history textbook.

“She here?” Minho doesn’t look up.

Wooseok digs through his drawers, pulling out a clean t-shirt and some sweatpants. “Yeah. She hasn’t seen it yet, though.”

“Girls love that shit. She’s gonna fall head over heels for you as soon as you show her.”

Wooseok’s heart pounds with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. He definitely likes the thought of her falling for him, but there’s also a good chance that this whole gift won’t go over well and she’ll feel like he’s trying to make a move on her, and then she’ll want to call the whole thing off. So he needs to make sure he frames it right. “I guess we’ll see.”

“Good luck, dude.”

“Thanks.”

He emerges from the room and opens the bathroom door just enough to hand the clothing in. “Put this on. You need to be comfy.”

She takes the clothes with a quiet giggle, and then opens the door a few minutes later.

The way his heart jumps into his throat at the sight of her in his shirt is unreal.

His clothes are big on her, of course, since he’s basically a giant, and the way the fabric hangs on her frame is just the most adorable thing that he’s ever seen. He knows immediately that he made a mistake and she should’ve just kept the dress on.

Regardless, he swallows his heart and gives a thumbs-up. “Better?”

She nods with a cute smile. “Very comfy.”

“Good. Close your eyes again.”

“Whyyy?”

“Because it’s a surprise, dipshit.”

As soon as she covers her eyes again, Wooseok pulls her into the living room and angles her to face his masterpiece. He doesn’t let his hands linger on her shoulders any longer than they have to.

“‘Kay. You can look now.”

He’s completely fixated on her as she drops her hands, anxious for her reaction. And when she sees what he’s done, she completely lights up.

“You made a blanket fort?”

“It’s cool, right?” He tentatively asks.

“It’s awesome!” She laughs joyfully. “Can we go in?”

“Nah, we’re just gonna look at it from out here.”

She playfully smacks his chest before approaching the fort, lifting up the sheet to peek inside. “Wow, this is so much cooler than the ones my brother and I would make when we were kids.”

From the outside, it looks like just a couple of sheets draped over various pieces of furniture, but the inside is really where most of his effort went. The fort’s ceiling is lined with twinkling lights, and there are decorative pillows of all shapes and sizes lining the back and sides. Small fake candles are scattered throughout and a fresh bowl of popcorn sits next to his opened laptop.

“Wooseok…” She crawls inside, making herself at home. “This is seriously awesome. I can’t believe you did all of this.”

He follows her in, taking extra care not to bump any of the blankets or chairs out of place with his large frame. “I promised you a cool birthday gift, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.” She looks up at him, and her sweet gaze is a little too much for him.

“So I thought maybe, like, a lowkey movie night would be fun? We can just relax and hang out and watch your favorite movie or something. Or we could pick something we haven’t seen. Your call, birthday girl.”

After a few minutes of browsing online, they eventually pick a movie to put on. It’s a crime thriller that he’s surprised she’s interested in, but she insisted that this is the one she wants. And then the movie starts, and they’re just sitting there side by side, and he’s internally debating whether he should put his arm around her. He knows the right choice is absolutely no, but it’s just so tempting to let her snuggle up next to him.

Wooseok glances down at her to see where she’s at, and he notices that her little eyebrows are pushed together in concern.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Hm?” She looks up at him and throws on a smile. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I’m alright.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing. I just…” She scoots a little closer, curling her legs in towards her body and leaning against him. “It’s nothing.”

Is that the signal? Should he go for it? She’s trying to cuddle with him, right?

Wooseok feels hopelessly lost. This would be so much easier if he didn’t actually have some kind of feelings for her. Even though they both agreed that they’d come clean if any feelings ever cropped up, he just can’t convince himself that it’s a good idea to confess. If he says something, then they’ll stop hooking up, and she’ll probably feel weird about being his tutor and hanging out with him. He can suck it up and pretend like he doesn’t have feelings.

“Woo.” She shortens his name to get his attention. They lock eyes. “You know, you haven’t actually wished me a happy birthday yet.”

“I haven’t?”

She shakes her head minutely, her gaze not moving a centimeter. There’s something deep in her eyes, and he’s probably just reading into it all too much, but it feels like it did the first time he kissed her - like they’re connected and grounded and alive in this moment.

This time, he doesn’t ask for permission.

Wooseok kisses her slowly, as if she might break if he’s not careful. His eyes close as his lips connect with hers, and she’s soft and sweet as always. He fights off the urge to hold her hand, to cup her face. He just wants to kiss her, and that’s what he does.

It’s a long moment before he pulls away from her. She looks happy and he feels like at least for tonight, he’s done a good job.

“Happy Birthday, short stuff.”

Hongseok finishes off his bourbon and looks around, not really sure why he thought it would be a good idea to come back to Andy’s jazz club. He had planned on going to the bar across the street, thinking he might be able to find someone there who could serve as a distraction for the night. He had plenty of hookups when he was at university so he knows how that scene works.

But as soon as he got there, curiosity got the best of him. It’s the Friday after _____’s birthday, which means she’s probably looking for a way to celebrate, right? And she’s snuck into Andy’s before, so why couldn’t she do it again?

Honestly, even if he found her there, he’s not sure if he’d tell her to go home or just be glad to cross paths again.

When he arrived, she was nowhere to be seen. He knows that’s for the best, since she's still not legally old enough to be here, and he shouldn’t be going out of his way to try to interact with her anyway.

The best he can do now is just look for a distraction as he had originally planned.

Hongseok leaves his empty glass at the bar and approaches an attractive woman in a deep red dress. He smooth talks her. He lays it on thick, because he notices right away that she’s eating it all up. He asks her to dance, and she agrees.

The band tonight is great, and they play plenty of music that’s perfect for dancing. The smooth jazz makes for perfect slow dance music, and he clasps her hand in his, his other hand resting on her back and keeping her close. He murmurs everything she wants to hear, his lips brushing the cusp of her ear as he flirts. She’s like putty in his hands.

And when the moment’s right, his lips find hers.

He kisses her like it means something, like he’s not just trying to avoid his problems. And she kisses him back, a delightful breath of fresh air.

Perhaps he can actually break free of _____’s spell.

It’s not long before their kiss becomes more than what is socially acceptable in public, and he suggests that they go back to his place. But she declines, claiming that she’s not that kind of woman, but leaves him with her phone number and a request to meet up for dinner next week.

Not exactly what he had hoped for, but he can't let himself be bothered by the fact that they both want different things. Still, he decides to keep her number, because she is quite beautiful. Who knows if anything will ever happen between them.

The pianist on stage starts a solo, effectively catching Hongseok's attention and driving his gaze to the front of the room. The melody is tender, full of longing, and for just a brief moment he thinks it might be _____ at the piano.

Of course it's not.

That's all the reason Hongseok needs to get the hell out of there.

When did he get in so deep? When did he become so crazy for this girl that he's hoping for any chance just to see her? He has no excuse for acting this way, but he can't help the fact that he's been completely enamored by her from the moment he first spoke to her at the wedding reception.

Hongseok returns to his apartment to settle in for the night, realizing that the only distraction he could possibly get for the night is his music. He lounges on his bed, plucking at the strings of one of his many acoustic guitars, his cat stretched out next to his leg.

His fingers move freely as he tries not to think about her, but is there really much harm in just getting lost in his thoughts?

He remembers the first time he saw her in his classroom, and how differently it hit him than the first time he saw her at the wedding. He remembers how dreadful it felt to see her sitting in the back, yet how thrilling it was to invite her into his hotel room.

He remembers her anger, her joy, her ecstasy. She’s beautiful and fun and sexy and charming, entirely intoxicating.

The memories of their night together visit him once again. He thinks about it far more often than he should, but he’s always told himself that he can at least savor the memory if he can’t let himself be with her again.

As Hongseok lets himself relive that night in his mind, he sets his guitar to the side, his hardening length capturing his attention. His hand slides down the front of his sweatpants, tentatively stroking himself in search of some relief.

The mental image of her naked body very quickly drives him wild. God what he wouldn’t give to be inside of her again, his hands massaging her round ass as he peppers kisses along her throat. He wants to hear her sighs of pleasure, wants to watch the way her lips part as each wave of her orgasm washes over her, her walls pulsing around his cock.

And the feeling of her tongue as it swirled around the head of his cock… he’d never get over it.

It’s like she knew every single one of his buttons. Like she already had full and total control over his pleasure.

Hongseok breaks out of his fantasy just long enough to push his sweatpants down and grab the lube from his nightstand. His hand alone isn’t enough, doesn’t do justice to the incredible wetness of her.

He lets out a groan as he resumes his stroking, his cock twitching delightfully in his hand.

And, completely swept up in the heat of it all, he allows himself to imagine what would happen if he caved.

What if he told her how badly he wanted her, and she said the same? What if he invited her over, and she agreed without hesitation? What if he gave himself just one more chance to taste her, explore her, ruin her…

Love her?

Hongseok lets himself moan as he pumps harder, imagining his cock plunging into her, her nails digging into his back. He can practically hear her voice as it wraps around his name in the most seductive tone he’s ever heard, and all he wants is to give her everything she could ever ask of him.

He wants to bite her skin, squeeze her curves, bury himself so deeply in her that he completely loses himself.

Hot ropes shoot from his cock onto his v-neck shirt as he thinks of nothing but her, and once his breathing returns to normal he finally realizes just how fucked he is.

It feels harmless, but he knows that fantasizing about her will only continue to chip away at his already weakening willpower, and eventually he’s going to end up doing something incredibly dumb.

After pulling off his dirty shirt and cleaning himself up, he returns to his bed, picking up his guitar once more. Unfortunately, not even his release is enough to get his mind off of her, so really he’s just back to square one.

He remembers how he played in his office for her, how she watched him in awe. He wonders if she feels music just as deeply as he does, if she feels the same connection to the melodies she plays and hears.

She had asked if he could drum while he played, and his attempt had been mostly unsuccessful. He was sorely out of practice at the time, but he's been working on it since then.

He fingers a tune, taps his fingers on the face of the guitar, bumps his palm against the wood. If only she could hear him now, she'd surely be impressed.

And then - he has an idea.

The rest of his night is spent in the makeshift recording studio he's created inside of his closet with his best guitar, his microphone, and the desire to create something just for her.

Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 8.

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