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mysoullanguage · 10 months

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#0017 your relationship with your mother, based on your moon sign

aries moon: your mother could’ve been an example of independence and freedom. she could’ve been a highly confident person with great ambitions and determination. for you, you would’ve always had your personal space and independence respected. now, you would be a confidently independent person with respect for others’ boundaries. your mother would build you up instead of seeing you as competition. another side to this placement could be a mother who was controlling or superstitious of what you were doing. obsessiveness or severe possessiveness could’ve led you to have a lot of anxiety with others in your personal space. therefore, you’ve become a hyper independent person who sees other people’s company as a threat. because you worked so hard to gain your own independence from having your independence, privacy, and boundaries violated as a child, you tend to build up emotional walls around yourself. your mother could’ve been a temperamental type with an unpredictable attitude in the house. commitment issues or issues with emotions are a common theme with this placement as any sort of tension or problem = a threat to you. this, as a result, causes you to resent your mother as someone who has hurt your self-esteem, confidence, and as someone who never respected your privacy and boundaries. the mother could've acted the father or have bad relations with the father or may have competed with him. mommy issues are common here.

taurus moon: this is a comforting moon placement, as your mother was likely a very caring and hardworking person. the only negative really about this placement could've been a highly materialistic view on life or a person overly protective with low self-esteem; someone who focused on work too much to the point of neglect. generally, however, this is a very reliable person who taught you a lot when it came to self-worth. she could've taught you how to build it yourself through her own insecurities or she could've helped you build it by supporting you. she may have taught you that material things = happiness. you are traditional and have very strong morals. she may have been overly traditional however; she may have had strict rules or may have been rigid with her upbringing of you. generally, she was an anchor to you because of her ability to teach you patience and resistance. this isn't a hugely emotional placement (for you or the mother) but there is great wait and patience when feeling things. impulses are not rushed and neither is sadness but they are felt. you have been taught to take life slowly and to take partnerships seriously rather than treating them like they only come once in a lifetime. your mother could’ve projected her ideal version of you and tried to make you do things to fit a “perfect” picture — she expected too much of you.

gemini moon: your mother could’ve been someone who gossiped or spoke in public. for you, emotions are either a silent topic or are actually very well expressed. if your mother was someone who projected onto you or provided a turbulent household (constantly moving, etc.) then you could’ve learned that, really, nowhere is your home. this is a very depressing placement to those who want a family as they feel it hard setting down roots or even connecting to their own previous roots. verbal abuse or a mother who was very emotionally distant OR unstable and could’ve caused you to be unsure of your true feelings. if your mother was in and out of your childhood, you were probably on your own and therefore became very used to your own company. as a result, you’ve become hyper-independent. curious and versatile with others, your versatility came from your imaginative childhood and forced use of skills and knowledge. on the other hand however, you could’ve just had a dynamic household in which travel and sport was emphasised. your creativity, curiosity, and passions were fuelled by a mother who was the same as you. so, she could’ve been great inspiration to you on how to use your words or thinking in a way that benefits you or the reason you are emotionally fickle. the stereotype that air moons are emotionally cold or unavailable stems from the fact that their mothers never really let them explore their feelings and, as a result, see them more of a chore than an actual element of humanity.

cancer moon: family is a strongly potent memory to you, in whatever context that may mean for you. your mother may have been a deeply compassionate person with a lot of care for the home and family. because this is in its natural placement, it indicates more peace than turbulence. you share a strong connection with your mother. your mother and household will have a big impact on your life, ultimately helping you decide what type of family you want, and what type of mother you want to be. on the one hand, your mother may have been incredibly patient, humble, caring, and loving. on the other, she may have been overly protective and overly possessive over you, sheltering you away from life's harsh realities and, as a result, causing you isolation and boredom. emotions are deeply felt and nostalgia/sentimentality are strong feelings in your life. the result of loneliness in your household may have caused you to be overly dependent in relationships or forces you to over-indulge in emotions in relationships. alternatively, emotions may set you off altogether and you may deal with things on your own. abandonment issues may be a prominent observation with this placement. mommy issues are also prominent here.

leo moon: your mother was the source of your self-esteem issues or your radiant confidence. on the one hand, your mother could’ve been a confident and artistic person with a great attitude towards life. she could’ve been a fashionable and intelligent person with great optimism. this would’ve caused you to develop a healthy self-esteem with a love of self-love and dignity. for you, you are highly dignified and never seek for others’ approval. on the other hand, your mother could’ve seen you as competition or as someone who challenged her authority. she could’ve seen you as an extension of herself, ultimately using you as a project, projecting her insecurities and feelings onto you. you may have, therefore, become heavily burdened with doubts of your own self-esteem and value. so, you tend to look for value through others. you cannot self-validate yourself so you look for validation and approval through others. this toxic pattern leads to many vain and dangerous relationships in which your insecurities must be overcome by appearances and material things. you may have become a bad people pleaser as a result of your mother’s demanding nature or someone who had a strong self-image.

virgo moon: this placement is very popular with vain or insecure people as their mother could’ve been a highly critical and difficult person. for you, you could’ve had a hardworking mother or a mother who was insecure… or even very sick in general. either way, diet may have been important in her life or your life as either may have struggled from sort of diet restriction or disorder. your mother could’ve been a great public speaker who used her voice to help others and was, in general, a very caring person with a loving heart. she could’ve shown you the true meaning of healing and helping others, or she could’ve turned you into an absolute people-pleaser with little to no boundaries. your experiences are often self-sabotaged. for example, relationships are often manifested to challenge your self-perception. you may have a strong work ethic or you may be someone so emotionally out of tune you rarely let others see how you feel. you could be a very gentle and strong person otherwise. your personality can either be magnetic and gentle, or insecure and tense. lack of boundaries and lack of self-esteem and confidence could’ve forced you to let others abuse and hurt you because you have no sense of right or wrong. there could be very high expectations upon you or your mother was just very critical. virgo is a perfectionist; they typically despise anything or anyone that does not fit a specific ideal.

libra moon: your relationship with your mother could’ve been very vain or superficial. on the one hand, your mother could’ve been very feminine and beautiful. as a result of her presence and influence, you’ve become feminine and very beautiful too. if your mother was the type with high standards, her influence could’ve made you into someone who has high standards too, or at least someone who has a strong self-image. regardless however, your mother’s “looseness” or “unseriousness” and general optimism would’ve encouraged you to be the same. your flirtatious attitude and charming personality heavily reflects her buoyant personality. if your mother was the insecure type, she may have used relationships as an escape from reality or used relationships/men as a way to gain validation and value. in some aspects, she may have married the man for money. in general however, this is a very vain placement where appearances are heavily depended on. external validation reassures internal insecurities and reinforces a broken relationship you have with yourself. superficiality is a key observation as you tend to live life and relationships on the surface instead of reaching below.

scorpio moon: there is a greatly intuitive or psychic relationship with the mother. she may have been the source of great paranoia and emotional pain. manipulation, gaslighting, and invasiveness was probably a popular theme in your early childhood and present life. your mother was either very distant or very emotionally demanding with you. she would've expected you to understand life at a profoundly deep level and, oftentimes, she had a negative view of life and people, ultimately projecting it on you. thus you feel as though you were forced to understand too much at a very young age. in some instances, this placement could indicate a family with many secrets, with your birth being a reminder of certain secrets. your strained relationship with your mother causes you to actually have distrust with others and to have a hard time opening up to others. this is oftentimes the source of scorpio moon's "scared to open up unless it's with someone they love" stereotype. many people say scorpio moons are deeply emotional with caring and compassionate hearts but fail to mention it's because their mother has forced them to feel so much when they were young as a result of the mother's "need" to constantly probe into their lives.

sagittarius moon: for you, independence and spontaneity were a big theme in your childhood, and still are. your mother could've been the type of person who saw your potential from a very young age. she could've been overly protective over you or controlling to the point you felt restricted and burdened by her paranoia. alternatively, this could point to a mother who was very adventurous and spontaneous and was a great inspiration to you and helped you shape your view on your own life. she could've been a traditional person with strong morals, with you ultimately having them too. your need for independence stems from the likelihood you were very unique as a child and didn't fit in many places. there is mutual love and understanding of one another but there is also a tendency to be stubborn with one another. oftentimes, your philosophical way of living is actually opposite to your mother's; therefore, you learn to live opposite to what your mother has taught you. so, your mother becomes an important anchor in your way of living this way. personal observation: these people may be foreigners in another country OR have a foreign mother

capricorn moon: one issue with this placement is the material and cold emphasis typical with almost any capricorn placement. on the one hand, your mother could’ve been a highly skilled worker who was very hardworking and determined in the home. she could’ve been a very material person with great success and status to her name. her being family-oriented may have caused you to be the same. you may have traditional values that reflect your mother’s. on the other hand, you may have had a mother who was overly possessive and controlling. she was probably the type to worry too much or have too much control over your boundaries and self-esteem. her micro-managing you could’ve made you resent her care. emotional unpredictability could’ve been a strong theme but also the fact that emotional coldness from her would’ve turned you into someone who rarely focuses on the emotional, but instead, on the rational. you are a rational feeler with little regard to actual feelings like sadness. if this moon is positively aspected, you could have a very strong work ethic with great boundaries and good self-esteem. you are powerful in everything you do; you do not let your feelings and short-felt impulses lead you astray from your ultimate goal. for others, however, the lack of emotional support and comfort or constant smothering could’ve caused you to either become overly independent in fear of vulnerability and in fear of losing yourself in other people. you may have matured early. she was probably very serious and you may have always felt a silent disapproval from her. she expected you to follow the dogma or the rules of the book which, inevitably, has made you want to go against them…

aquarius moon: you are versatile, curious, and emotionally detached. this doesn't mean you don't feel emotions or aren't connected to them; rather, you think logically than emotionally. in your childhood, your mother could have been a highly inquisitive person, but one to let you to your own devices. this means you may have grown up very early or may have matured very early. your relationship with your mother may be very hot and cold or just very cold because the independence acquired in your childhood has caused you to be, inevitably, independent and self-reliant as an adult. there's little to no need for anyone really, even relationships. however, there is still a deeper yearning for connection and understanding between you and others. on a general level, you are a very mental person who prioritizes mental synchronicity. this is the key to ultimately unlocking your heart. your lack of emotional connection with your mother and her unpredictable emotions or attitudes would've ultimately led you to use problem-solving skills rather than compassion in many scenarios. additionally, you may have forgiven yourself for trying to rely on your mother for emotional support. simply put, she couldn’t offer you the emotional security you required. you may have had little to no friend groups as a child; you may have felt left out a lot.

pisces moon: there is often a sad disconnect with the mother as a child, whether the mother was absent/distant or actually dead. you may have a very intuitive bond with your mother but you may have also taken her burdens upon yourself as a child. you may have been lonely. on the one hand, she could have been a highly intuitive and caring person with a deep personality and an admirative perspective on life and people. mental illness, addiction, or neglect may run through the family whether your mother suffered from this or you. with this placement, you have learned compassion and patience and have learned understanding of other people's suffering. she may have been an artistic person with a loose approach to life and she could've been a genuinely compassionate inspiration to you. if not, she may have been an overly smothering person with little regard for your own individuality; she may have been insecure or may have had her head too far in the clouds at all times. she may have found it difficult to truly connect with life. there could’ve been more than one mother figure here. your relationship with your mother has caused you to become hyper aware of other people’s moods and reactions — you tend to “just know” how people feel.

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations

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shiraishi-kanade · 1 month

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An Shiraishi is always trying to be someone else: a short and messy analysis on how Vivid Street (unintentionally) messed her up

You know, I kind of have my own issues with the "Wishing to the Blue Sky for Your Happiness!" event, but a lot of my criticism of it boiled down to "huh, it's kind of weird how they gave An this insecurity out of nowhere, she didn't struggle with being herself before. Seems to be a reach just so Shizuku could have a role."

But that was before the Vivid Old Tale, and boy I'll admit I was very wrong.

The relationship between An and Nagi are... Very interesting, to say the least.

But there's no doubt that An absolutely idolizes Nagi. Sure, there's been this line about An always wanting to he a musical like her father, but we also know that for the most part, it was Nagi who taught her to sing, as well as Nagi who acted as An's mentor figure in a more emotional way.

In a way, An won the lottery. She was born into a family that loves her, into a community thay loves her, and just so happened to be talented and passionate about something that community values most. However, that talent has left her little to no space to actually... See herself as someone outside of it.

Now, none of this is actually necessarily negative by default. Having high expectations to one's children isn't necessarily bad either; with the right approach, it can make them grow and want to grow. We've also seen this happen with Touya in his childhood, which us another neat parallel.

But, unlike Touya, An has been very comfortable in her role, precisely because of her talent and being able to reach the very high bar raised for her. That comfort just... never made her reach out to something other than the place and the future she was already familiar with, because she never needed to. She was Ken's daughter and she was talented and everyone in town loved her and she promised to be the better than her dad and everyone took her seriously. What else could she possibly need?

In a way, An had her dole cut out to her before she was even born.

And then there's Nagi.

Yes, Nagi is An's role model. But there's more to that than just An looking up to her.

More than just being taught by her, An actually picks up Nagi's mannerisms, forms or speech, and even moral values (pretty much the entire point of Vivid Old Tale).

An saw, too, how much Nagi meant for the people of Vivid Street. She wanted to mean as much for them, too; rather, she already did mean as much, but she needed to be someone to justify being loved. It's not necessarily a conscious thought process but more of a subtle one: if you notice your community loves some traits of you more than the others, or values some aspects of you more, you start to lean more and more into them in order to fit in and be accepted.

For An, those particular traits were being talented, being Ken's daughter, but also... Being very similar to Nagi.

Them acting "like sisters" has been highlighted over

and over

and over again, even by people unfamiliar with Nagi, well into An's teenage years.

And it's not exactly... A complete coincidence on everyone's part. At one point, Nagi openly states she wants An to be like her, to be able to see things from the same perspective. At least to some extent, some of the actions Nagi takes to make that happen are completely deliberate.

So An tries to be like Nagi. This is both a conscious effort on her part and something that just... Is sort of a hidden force that shapes her into who she is. If you watch Nagi and compare even the way she talks with people of the town to the more mature, somewhat-grown up but not quite there yet An we have today... There's so many similarities it's uncanny. An is still much more hot-headed and impulsive, but that caring, considerate side of her shines through even more than before.

An doesn't try to deny or hide that, too. In fact, she's actually pretty proud of it.

(Whether Ken lied to her to make her feel better or if that expression was just a reaction to being reminded of Nagi passing away & the masquerade that followed after that, we'll never know.)

But here's the kicker: there's so much of Nagi in An it's hard to pinpoint where Nagi-san's traits end and An's own personality begins, if it even does. Because of how early has everyone decided on An's future, and because An never did anything to even hint at wanting to do something different (which she didn't! Sometimes people want to continue their family's legacy and that's completely normal and fine - again, she just got really lucky, both with her talent and supportive surroundings), An subconsciously kind of accepted that being like Nagi is... Just who she is.

That comes with taking on Nagi's part in the community, too. In the same way Nagi took care of everyone in town by helping them out at events, so too, does An - just to a much lesser extent, by going out of her way to keep in touch with everyone, going to events, and helping at a cafe, too.

But An doesn't purposely mold or change her personality to be like her role model, too. This is important: An doesn't wear a mask because she doesn't need to. In her mind, she already is like Nagi, or at least, she's on track to be, without doing particularly anything different. Because they're just so similar they're so close and practically behave like sisters, and because An grew up singing in the town exactly like Nagi did, and because she loves the town just like Nagi did - what else could An possibly need to do except get better at singing and get more grown up?

You know, to reach that mature and down-to-earth side of Nagi that we often see in the past?

That side?

Yeah.

Now the Shizuan event's conflict isn't so out of place, is it?

But anyway, back to the point.

Because of Nagi wording things the way she does and because of people on Vivid Street making such a point of their similarities, An naturally assumed she would eventually become like Nagi. This is why, even aside from Kohane's improvement, aside An's abandonment issues, Kick It Up a Notch is a giant slap to the face for An, as well as her wake-up call.

Kohane taking on Nagi's mantle before An was able to, or potentially ever could, isn't just about singing - it's an attempt at An's entire sense of self, just as well as her place in the world, and on the smaller sense, her hometown, too.

Because if An is not Nagi, she doesn't belong.

Because An never knew how to do anything but sing. Because becoming like her family, like Nagi, was the only option she ever imagined for herself ever since she was a child.

And if An is not Nagi, then who the hell is she?

[this post was very much inspired by @the-one-that-weeps 's An analysis post, who kind of put this much more eloquently than I could! Go check them out.

All translated lines that aren't taken from the wiki transcripts are by lozybug on YouTube!]

#jay rambles.txt #jay's character analysis #project sekai #prsk #an shiraishi #vivid bad squad #i spent like a solid 3 hours writing this

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duchess-of-mandalore · 1 year

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I cannot tell you how over-the-two-moons-of-Mandalore I am about the Bo-Katan we got in “The Mines of Mandalore.” While I was hoping they’d treat her character with nuance and not make her a villain, I did expect that they’d immediately set her up as an antagonist to Din’s story. I also expected that we’d pick up in Season 3 with a Bo who was angry, frustrated, despondent, rude, and impulsive and I was ready to defend every one of those emotions.

I never expected the Bo we got in this episode.

She’s fierce and tough, depressed and hurting, but then we also get these sad smiles and longing looks and these beautiful moments where her gentler side comes through.

She’s wields the Darksaber with skill and precision and the expertise that comes with both practice and willingness to connect with the saber the way Kanan taught Sabine to do. That’s her sword.

But she’s honorable. She could have killed Din (or at least let him die) several times over. She could have taken the Darksaber. She could be bitter about the fact that he has it.

Instead, we see her wield the Darksaber as an expert, and then place it back on the ground with the rest of Din’s weapons.

I was scared we’d get a Bo that disregarded her character development in Rebels, but she’s proven that she’s still committed to fighting honorably for her people, just as she told Sabine to do.

And she’s just so ... beautifully soft.

We saw Bo be soft so rarely in TCW and Rebels, but Katee is leaning into giving Bo that gentle side.

Her immediate concern when Grogu shows up alone and willingness to go find his dad even though at first she’d been like “It’s Din Djarin. Let’s get rid of him once and for all.”

Each and every time she talks to Grogu, she’s so tender and calm. She encourages him when he’s scared and pushes his pram out of the way when she senses danger. She talks to him and knows he understands and tells him at least generally about the connection she’s had to Jedi in her life.

(In short, Bo loves babies!)

The way Grogu looks at her tells me he already likes and trusts her.

Plus she’s saved his dad several times now.

To be clear, I’m sure there’s going to be tension going forward, and I don’t expect Bo to always act as calmly and nobly as she did in this episode. She can be catty and rude and violent and I love that those are all parts of her character, too.

But I also think it’s already clear that in terms of her desires for her people, this former terrorist is done fighting over petty differences. She doesn’t dismiss Din even though he’s a part of a group she considers a cult (and she would know) because he’s still her people. And she’s still has no higher desire than the reunification of her scattered people and for them to be able to live in peace in spite of their long history of (and her own participation in) civil wars.

“I am not my sister.”

No, but Bo-Katan is currently more like her than she ever has been.

#Star Wars #The Mandalorian #The Clone Wars #Star Wars Rebels #Bo-Katan Kryze #Din Djarin #Grogu #Satine Kryze #Duchess Satine #The Mandalorian Season 3 #The Mandalorian Season 3 Spoilers #Mando Spoilers #The Mines of Mandalore #In Defense of Bo-Katan #In Defense of Satine #The Kryze Sisters #Katee Sackhoff

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helpfandom · 8 months

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Analysis on YANDERE PLATONIC TAS Batman Villains. Pt 1.

THIS IS NOT THE NEW ANIMATED SERIES. Strictly ONLY The Animated Series.

Villains:

MR. FREEZE

RIDDLER

CLAYFACE

POISON IVY

MAD HATTER

CATWOMAN

What I am using as the archtypes: https://www.tumblr.com/helpfandom/724022554446135296/types-of-yandere?source=share YANDERE_AUXILLARY made it!!!!

I find it so curious that people neglect Platonic as a yandere version, {not to say that I am a pioneer, no no no, but rather that people don't write about it as much as romantic.} And so, here is my analysis on various TAS Batman Villains. Of course, this is part one, as there are many TAS villains. I just need to get to them.

Also, side note. Thank you TAS writers for already making Mad Hatter a yandere so now I have less work to do.

Mr Freeze: Now, he is the yandere type of Obsessive, Overprotective, Clingy. He found something else to focus on, and it happened to be you. Reader would be more of the friendly type, more outgoing for Mr. Freeze to have such an obsession with them. He wouldn't stalk you as much, more so just an immediate kidnap the next time he sees you. Most likely catalyst for his yandere swap would be dealing with the loss of his wife. He lost his wife. He won't lose his kid too. Maybe Reader was there to help, or maybe he saw his wife in you. No matter what it was, as soon as there is an obsession, he wants to keep you. You're screwed as soon as it began. He's overprotective, constantly hovering over you. "I've lost too much. I won't lose the last thing of my wife, too!"

Riddler: Hmm... His yandere archetypes for platonic is... Possessive, Delusional, Sadistic, and Self-Indulgent. His egotistical personality, tied with an obsession with a kid who is unafraid to throw hostility back? Not a good pair for Gotham. In his mind, to not be afraid of him, or to throw hostility back at him, must mean that you like him. And with his intelligence, how could you not? His catalyst, well, there isn't really a catalyst per say, more so he was already obsessed with beating Batman and being intelligent, so why wouldn't he be obsessed with someone who can challenge him? He's more of a stalker type, only kidnapping when Batman and Robin get a little too close to you for his comfort. You're just like a little him, well you have to be taught by the best, most intelligent, and that's him. "Well well, my dear child. You seem to have escaped, but I'm sure you know that you won't be out for long..."

Clayface: He is... Clingy, Manipulative, Impulsive, and slightly Sadistic. He would be obsessed likely with a theatre kid, or someone who enjoys the fine arts {So an Art Kid, Band Kid, Choir Kid, etc.} He would see that and miss the days when he could do that, when he could act or enjoy the arts. Because he can transform his shape into anybody, he transforms himself into people close to you, of course he stalks them ahead of time so that he can properly assume their character, but he quickly kills them off so he can assume that role in your life. If it was a friend who had a crush on you, he enjoys watching the life leave their eyes. How dare they try to ruin your potential with their desires? He uses someone in a position of power, too. Likely a teacher, or if you have a director? Boom, suddenly you have the main role, or a solo, or you won the first place in an art competition. Who knows what kind of a catalyst would be there, all I can tell you is that BOOM! You're being kidnapped by someone you trusted deeply. You watch your former mentor's skin droop off of this, this person, who's kidnapping you, revealing a rocky, clay texture. Clayface. "Heya kid, you already slipped up and called your teacher Dad, so I know you can for me too. Here, would looking like them help?"

Poison Ivy: Her yandere archetypes are Overprotective, Clingy, and attempts to be Manipulative. Delusional, but yet Lucid; She has delusions about Reader, but not in the 'ah, yes. Reader loves me too.' She would be a little apprehensive at an uncaring Reader, after all, if you're not for plants, you must be against plants. For an uncaring Reader to work, Reader must be a plant lover. Poison Ivy would see this, and suddenly everything makes sense. She assumes that Reader puts up a fake persona so that Reader can care for plants in their free time, so that no one knows that Reader loves plants. She loves that about Reader, and that's why she gets obsessed. She wants to keep the only other plant lover in Gotham and protect them against the cold, cruel world. She would originally try a sporeling, but she misses the real you so that plan fails and that's why she would kidnap you. "Come here my Rosebud, the world is cruel. Let me be your mother, like Mother Earth."

Mad Hatter: His characteristics are Delusional, Self-Indulgent, Overprotective, and Clingy. Who truly knows why he started to care for you? Perhaps you reminded him of someone a little too much... Nevertheless, not what we are here to focus on. He would not be a stalkerish type, but he would delude himself into believing you love him like a father. He would not be afraid to use his mind control on you. As soon as he manages to get you under his control, you're screwed. You're gone from Gotham forever. He has been shown to be willing to do it before, with Alice. I think he would be willing to do it until he gets you to the safe house which looks a lot like one of the sets for Alice in Wonderland... He would be overprotective, scared that Batman would take away his kid, take away the few things in life he loves. "NO NO NO! Batman simply cannot take away my child too!"

Catwoman: She is Clingy, Manipulative, Impulsive. She has been shown to be someone with a ton of money, {Paying $10,000 dollars for a charity that she loves, a lot of money, period, but also for 1992} So I feel that she would be willing to use that against her kiddo, saying that it's okay for Reader to use her money, and then guilt tripping Reader {who, realistically, wouldn't give a shit, but I digress.} Into staying with her to pay off the debt. Her clingy and Impulsiveness is because of when she was involuntarily transformed into an animal, some things stayed the same, and now that she found her cub? Even Batman can't fight a wild animal for her kid. "Lioncub, why are you worried? Mommy's got enough money for the both of us."

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tonowarii · 1 year

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May I ask for a Lo’ak x Reader fic where reader is a Metkayina girl and she’s best friends with Tsireya, daughter of an esteemed warrior and one of the singers in the clan. Maybe she’s his love interest instead of her and he finds himself absolutely smitten by her at first glance. Perhaps there’s a scene where the clan celebrates the Sully’s achievements and being a part of the Metkayina and she’s one of the dancers there and Lo’ak can’t keep his eyes off of her. Maybe a confession scene and some fluff please? 🥹🥹🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

lo'ak my bbg

Staring Problem

lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan x fem! metkayina! reader

wc: 1.5k

warning/s: none? lo'ak could not stop himself from staring at you literally.. that's it, fluff!

gif is mine!

Lo’ak could not stop staring at your form.

Respectfully.

His eyes scanned your every move as you danced around the bonfire in the communal area, your hips swaying to the beat as you also sang.

Lo’ak could spot Tsireya dancing along too, but he was more interested in you.

His ears felt like it was getting blessed by Eywa upon hearing your sweet-sounding voice. He swore his jaw was about to drop at any moment now in awe.

Not to mention the celebration clothes you were wearing; it had enhanced your beauty by a tenfold.

Lo’ak had really fallen for you this time. At first it was just glances and occasionally he would come only to you for help when he finds some of the lessons difficult, and you were more than happy to help him.

No, Lo’ak should act properly this time, after all, they were the ones the celebration was being held for. Out of all the challenges they had faced, they were now finally considered one of the people.

He unknowingly gulps down as your eyes met his as you sung and danced. He swore he could see your mouth morph into a grin, playfully sending him a wink that he taught you not too long ago.

His brows raised as his heart spiked. My, haven’t you got a clue on what you’re doing to him?

He only regrets teaching you how to wink now because his face just got a shade darker and his tail was perked up in interest, curling at the end.

The only thing enough to yank him away from his thoughts was his brother who smacked him on the shoulder, smirk on his face.

“Bro, you’re staring too much.” Neteyam said, glancing at who he could tell was your father, who had been eyeing Lo’ak suspiciously.

Lo’ak hisses in annoyance, looking at Neteyam. “What? Bro, come on I wasn’t.”

“Oh, you weren’t? Tell that to her father.”

Neteyam chuckles and Lo’ak impulsively looks toward where your father was, to find him almost glaring at Lo’ak.

Lo’ak then quickly avoids your father, head hanging low before he looks back up at Neteyam.

“I think he’s going to kill me.” Lo’ak said.

Neteyam laughs out loud, earning a few glances.

“You’re on your own with that, baby bro.”

Lo’ak sighs before Neteyam’s attention was grabbed by other Metkayina, congratulating him and Lo’ak as well as his whole family.

Then the dancing stopped, leading Lo’ak to use his eyes again to find where you were.

You were laughing along with Tsireya, then your eyes met once more.

Tsireya spots this and whispers something in your ear that makes Lo’ak’s eyebrows furrow as you blushed, avoiding his gaze.

Tonowari then made a speech, followed by Ronal who gave the Sully’s a blessing from Eywa.

“For tonight, they are officially our brothers and sisters, treat them as such and now, it is time to celebrate!” Tonowari announced.

Everyone cheered on, including you as his mother and father accepted their sayings of congratulations.

Then another round of music began, Lo’ak could already feel himself fighting the urge to watch you again.

He let it won.

But surprise would soon follow as he did so.

His eyes widen as he sees your form slowly walking towards him, your smile had a hint of mischief, he could tell.

He wasn’t liking where this was going.

Yet he stays instead of fleeing, it was like you had casted a spell over him just by looking at you.

Out from the corner of his eye he could see other pairs of Na’vi skipping towards the middle.

Before he can conclude his thoughts, you were already in front of him.

“Lo’ak.” You greeted.

“(Y/N).” He greets back, voice almost cracking in the end which he masks with a cough.

Now as you stood in front of him, you instantly felt that this was a bad idea, you should just turn around, be done with it. But you had remembered what your best friend, Tsireya told you.

“This is your chance, do not waste this moment. You know he’s been looking at you since the start the celebration.”

You and Lo’ak stood staring at each other it looked like the two of you were having a contest.

Here’s to hoping. You thought.

Grabbing onto his hand, Lo’ak felt some form of electricity shoot up from where your skin touched his.

“Come. Dance with me.”

He couldn’t dance, that was he was supposed to say. Yet his mouth said otherwise.

“O-okay.”

Before he could correct himself, you were already dragging him onto the dance floor, pairs of eyes looking at the two of you, including your parents and his.

But as you stopped and turned to face him, his worries melted away into thin air, new found confidence rising in him.

“I- I don’t dance.” He stuttered, face lightly scrunching as he cringed at himself.

You laugh at him, grabbing both his hands and starting to move alike the others.

“It is alright, I will show you.” You said then you moved both your hands upwards as you swayed your hips, smiling at him widely.

He copies your movements, his body almost stiff.

“That is right, now.” You continued your movements as you let go of his hand, Lo’ak looked at the others to find the females circling their partner around.

And you did, circling around him, Lo’ak turns half his body to catch your eyes again, not being able to get his yearning satiated.

He felt your hand twirl his tail, that definitely was not part of the move as his ears flattened, tail trying to flick away from your touch in embarrassment. Eywa help me.

Then he feels your hand on his back, sending shivers down his spine as it trailed upwards to his shoulder, walking in front of him, your hands made its way to his chest. Now that was a part of the move.

“Being sneaky, huh?” Lo’ak smiled at you, his hands comfortably going to grab both of yours again, repeating the same move as before, now he was taking the lead.

“Maybe…”

No words could explain how much you wanted to pour your love all over him right now, especially with the way his eyes were only focused on you, since even earlier you had noticed. That’s why you had made sure to give it all you got.

The air was starting to get thick as laughter and cheers could be heard from all around you.

Smiling widely at him, you glance to the others before glancing back at him.

Then you had decided to go for it. Squeezing his hands, you began to pull him away from the dance floor.

“Wh- where are we going?” He asked. “Shh!” You reply, turning your back towards him so you could drag him to where you wanted to bring him.

Lo’ak turns his head back to the celebration as the people and the noise faded from his view and earshot.

Now he was following you towards the sand, leading towards the magnificent view of the sea and the moon. The celebration could still be heard.

“You are one of us now. I am proud of you.” You spoke, holding one of Lo’ak’s hand with both of yours.

Lo’ak could feel a small smile crawling up to his ace at your words.

“You have also defended our tulkuns, including my own spirit sister, she thanks you.” You continued, you didn’t know where your words were going, but you knew what would come soon.

Lo’ak nods, listening to you but his eyes kept flicking to your lips.

“I thank you, Lo’ak. You are a true warrior; you have a strong heart.” You said, now placing one of your hands on his chest, right where his heart should be, feeling his heartbeat. It stunned you for a second when it was drumming a little too fast.

“Thank you, (Y/N). I could not have done it without you, or my siblings. But you are also one of the reasons why I chose to fight.”

Your eyes now look up to him.

One of his hands trapped yours that was placed on his chest. “I guess there’s no point in hiding it now— I like you- a lot.”

Your eyes widened. “Is this true, Lo’ak?”

“Yes.” He wastes no time in confirming.

You let out a breath, smiling.

“I…Like you too.” You had finally confessed. Lo’ak was taken aback, before he was squeezing your hand, transferring it to your cheek. You enjoyed the new sensation it had given you, leading you to lean into his touch as he stared at you amazed.

Lo’ak then pulls you closer to him, afraid that he was only making things up. Leaning his face closer to yours he nudges your forehead with his, closing his eyes.

You closed your eyes, humming in content.

“You don’t know how long I’ve dreamt about this.” Lo’ak suddenly said, making you laugh.

“I think Eywa has had enough of us just staring at each other.”

The two of you laugh, deciding to spend the rest of the night together, celebration long forgotten as you were sat in the sand, holding each other’s hand, relishing in this new found relationship.

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thebadboyfanclub · 1 year

Text

Left Or Right? (Daemon x Reader)

Alicent was a young maiden when she was brought to court with her father, the insufferable lose of her mother had taken a huge toll on her and she was in much need of a companion, Rhaenyra and Alicent quickly leaned on another for comfort, craving a true bond and a confidant that would understand them.

Everything came to a head at Viserys wedding feast to Laena Velaryon, his wedding was to the talk of the realm since Laena was to be the future queen, that is until the recently widowed daemon rose up from his seat with a cup to his hand.

“I raise my cup to his grace the king… my dear brother and his new wife the lady Laena Velaryon, may their marriage be protected by the old Gods and the new, this wedding has moved me deeply as of all of us I presume, allow me to announce that I also intend to marry… the lady Alicent Hightower”

Alicents head snapped up to meet Daemons gaze who was gawking at the enchanting lady in green, Rhaenyra was also staring at her friend with disbelief, her lips pursed together as rage erupted in her chest at the sudden announcement of marriage.

“What excellent choice dear brother”

Viserys declared, he was also taken aback by the news still he knew better than to blow off, on the other side Otto was fuming, he was never fond of the rogue prince and now he was scheming to take his daughter away from his grasp, technically Daemon was an eligible match but to Ottos plans this was a disaster.

The crowd had erupted with applause for the delightful news only to be interrupted by princess Rhaenyra that shot up from her seat to walk out of the room, how could her dear friend betray her like this? How long have they been having an affair under her nose? Had Alicent used Rhaenyra to get to Daemon?

Alicent remained seated, she had to admit Daemon was a handsome man and she had caught herself eyeballing him like a child does to a cake they really want, howbeit they never had a intimate encounter. Embarrassed by all the attention she hang her head down while her nasty habit of picking her skin around her nails kicked in, she was to be married… to a Targaryen prince

“How do you like the castle”

“It is quite nice my prince”

“You needn’t to call me prince, I am your lord husband”

“That is right I apologise”

“You also do not have to apologise for everything, I understand this is a foreign concept to you as it is to me”

Daemon reached out to hold Alicents hands, he had picked up on the nervous tick of the lady that had damaged her cuticles to the point of bleeding. Alicent felt her heart skip a beat at the sudden touch and sense of intimacy, Daemon had requested from her if she would like to move to Pentos after her wedding, live quietly away from court and create their own family, Alicent had accepted since her father had been cross with her due to this union and Rhaenyra refused to even look her in the eye, there was nothing for her in Kings landing.

“The hour is late, I will leave you to rest”

“Daemon”

As the prince took a step to leave the chamber and probably occupy another for his slumber Alicent acted on impulse and wrapped her fingers around his wrist to keep him still. Daemon furrowed his brows at the act, he did not want to bother her or force her into anything, they had left the eyes of everyone that expected the horrifying bedding ceremony there was no need for duty.

“I would- we should have a shared chamber”

“Are you asking because you wish for me to be with you or due to it being what is proper?”

Alicent took a minute to respond, she was never as blunt as Rhaenyra and her father always taught her the pious way of being a maiden.

Daemon detected the rosy cheeks from Alicents shy nature to which he gave her a way to relax by reaching for her chin to rest his fingers and placing a gentle kiss on her lips, it was almost like his lips caressed hers compelling Alicents stomach to be full of butterflies.

“I wish for us to share a chamber”

“You must ask me for whatever will make you happy, I wish for us to have a blissful wedlock”

“I wouldn’t want nothing more than that”

Daemon and Alicent had learned to love one another, Alicent was a patient and a tender wife that loved Daemons protective nature along with his leadership skills, she felt safe around him and he felt heard and her compassion was endearing to him, for the first time in forever Daemon could feel a certain tranquility.

Their first born son was Daemons happiest day, he waited outside pacing back and forth tormented by the sound of Alicents groans of pain, he bursted in the room at the sound of his babe crying loudly, Alicent laid in the bed visibly exhausted with her legs spread.

“Congratulations to both of you, a healthy son”

Daemon felt like he was forever in Alicents debt, his first offspring by their wedlock was here and healthy, he kneeled in front of his sweaty mess of a wife and kissed her knuckles, Alicent could only half grin as she was barely able to keep her eyes open, her babe propped up in her arms.

“My dearest wife, you are so strong”

“He is so small, why is he so small?”

“He is a newborn little dove, he will become a great powerful prince when the time comes”

Time went by peacefully in Pentos, as the years passed their family got a few more members, Aegon, Heleana, Aemond and Daeron, 4 extraordinary children in their own way.

Aegon was his fathers son, rambunctious, slightly arrogant and a prankster, Daemon was a tad bit stricter on him in some ways “he needs discipline” he would say when Alicent attempted to budge in.

Heleana was a quiet little girl, a dreamer, something Daemon found fascinating, often times Alicent would find him with Heleana in the yard while she played with bugs and speaking in riddles.

Aemond was a mirror of Alicent, timid, calculated, focused and academically blessed, unfortunately he was the only one that remained dragonless, Daemon did the best he could though the father was sure it could not feel the void.

Daeron was a sweet little boy, gentle, loved to write poems and eat cake, he scoffed at sword lessons and was far more content with following his mother around at the market

“I come to you with bad news”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes I am fine my love, Laena Velaryon has passed”

“Bless her soul, she was so young”

“You brother has requested for us to attend the ceremony”

“No”

“My love-“

“No, he did not even send a raven when our children were born”

Alicent walked to huge her husband while his back was turned to her, she had grown to be affectionate to him behind closed doors, sometimes he would recall how shy Alicent had been at the beginning, blushing at just a brush of his hand to hers.

“Your brother is grieving, this is his second wife he loses in childbirth”

“The reason behind that is how obsessed he is with having a male heir, he has nobody to blame but himself”

“Now you are being cruel, I am your second wife as well”

“I did not marry you just because of duty”

“You did not do it for love either”

“I married you because you were a beautiful little dove”

“You would look for comfort in your immediate family if something had happened to me as well”

The ceremony had been tense to say the least, the words of Vaemond Velaryon still ringed in Alicents ears, Daemon had brought his son Aegon closer to him at the sleek accusations of bastard blood, All his children were true Targaryens, they held the blood of the dragon and the traditional features, how could such a strong character like Rhaenyra stoop so low?

Daemon was a bystander while his family name was perishing, Aegon would have made a great king, seven hells Daemon would have been a better king than a little boy that resembled to the city commander more than his Targaryen mother.

“Have you seen Aemond?”

“He is probably exploring the land, he is a strong lad you needn’t worry”

It wasn’t like Aemond to disappear especially after nightfall, Alicent could sense that something was not going well with her dear boy. Daemon allowed his gaze to follow his wife as she paced and forth when she finally stopped to sit in front the window.

Vhagar was flying at the time, Vhagar was Laenas dragon, what was she doing up in the air?

“You spoil him”

“He is a young boy”

“He is not made of glass dearest, come here”

Alicent puffed out a breath as she climbed in their bed to join her husband, Daemon wrapped his arm around her while Alicent got comfortable on his side after pecking her husband on the lips.

“I saw you and king Viserys talking, how was he?”

“He seemed unwell, I fear his condition has worsened over the years”

“Not everyone is untouchable by time Daemon”

Daemon leaned in to kiss his wife with a smile, Alicent always found her husband incredibly handsome, his charm made her swoon like they were newly weds.

With one swift motion Daemon flipped her over to position himself between herself, his lips making a trail on her neck while she giggled at the tickling sensation.

“Prince Daemon”

“Oh for the love of everything that is holy”

He mumbled as he fell on top of his wife since the knight had ruined the mood of them coupling.

“Your son Aemond”

“My boy”

Alicent bounced out of the bed in an instant, Daemon was hot in her trail and Alicent followed the knight to what Alicent assumed it was where her son was. At first glimpse of what was the meaning of this Alicents knees gave out, thankfully Daemon was quick enough to catch her preventing her from hitting the floor.

“My Aemond, what has happened? Who did this to you my boy? Aegon! Where were you when your brother was getting injured!?”

“Mother I-“

“I do not want to hear your excuses, it will heal right maester?”

“I am afraid the eye is lost my lady”

The room roared from different voices talking over one another, the young boys defending themselves, Aemond accusing the boys of permanently scarring him, Alicent speaking over the boys that blame Aemond at lying.

“Shut up! All of you! Now, Aemond what has happened”

“They attacked me with a blade father, they said I stole Vhagar, I did not I just… she let me ride”

“I know my boy, it is common knowledge you cannot steal a dragon, I am certain that princess Rhaenyra has educated her sons at that”

“Are you calling my sons imbeciles?”

“I am stating a fact, if you saw fit to not educate your sons when it comes to dragons it should not be made as everyone’s problem”

“It was my sons who were attacked and forced to defend themselves, vile insults were levied against them”

“My son would never insult another-“

“He called us bastards”

Silence fell after prince Jacaerys interrupted Daemon, the only source of sound was the wood in the fireplace cracking.

“Tell me boy, who spoke these lies to you?”

Aemond did not respond to the king, he could not betray his family even if that would cost him, the pain was also taking over his brain making him scatter for the right thing to say.

“I take the blame, my lady wife exchanged letters with the late queen Laena I thought it was common knowledge”

Daemon defended his son, Viserys was too frail to respond the way he wanted however he was livid, his own brother had cause chaos by only being present for a few hours.

“You dare to tarnish my late wives name”

“Your grandsons maimed my boy, I do not care what he had said no one should dare to bring a blade in an ambush or let a group of 4 attack 1, run your house as you see fit but this is unacceptable to my home”

“What would you have me do then? Do tell oh so wise brother”

“Prince Lucerys, left or right?”

“What?”

“Left… or… right?”

“Right”

“Good”

With that Daemon had his dagger in hand and attempted to attack Lucerys, luckily for the boy Ser Corlys stepped in front of the princess who selflessly placed her body before her sons and grabbed Daemons hand that held the dagger.

“Step aside Corlys this has nothing to do with you”

“We are family Daemon and you are attacking a toddler”

“He was brave enough to take my sons eye he should feel the consequences of his actions”

“I understand your pain more than anyone so please hear me when I say this is not the way to go about it”

“Daemon please”

Alicents voice echoed in his brain, Alicent held her son close to her while Aemond rested his head on his mothers shoulder, Aegon stood by his brothers side waiting for Daemon to join them. Daemon released the dagger with a audible clash on the floor and turned his back to Corlys, Alicent extended her arm to reach out to Daemon, inviting him to join them, to be by his family’s side in this difficult time.

The Targaryen family had been a boiling pot for years, now the simmering had overflown and they would have to pick sides, like crows feasting over a dead body.

“Do not fret father, it was a fair exchange, I may have lost an eye but I gained a dragon, I ride Vhagar now”

“Besides, our family has nothing to hide, the truth will always come to light”

“Are you insinuating something lady Alicent?”

“Hold your family members close Rhaenyra, I speak from experience when I say… a mothers pain when she sees her child being mistreated or worst… wounded can be the reason you go rogue”

“Lord Corlys said it best, we are family, we know how to settle our differences one way or the other and pluck out the weeds that do not belong in our garden”

Requests are open!

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coffincestuous · 3 months

Text

i’ve seen some people say that ashley is kind of an extreme portrayal of mental illness(es), but, from my own experience…. she’s actually a very real portrayal. all of her possessiveness, her mood swings, her dependency on andrew, her choice to not think too long about super traumatizing shit, her impulsiveness; all of those are very normal, very accurate ways mental illnesses and other disorders manifest

(andrew also shows Many signs of mental illness(es) and disorders, and so does their mom, but that’s not what this post is about!!)

i’m not going to try to diagnose her or anything, and i’ll try to keep my headcanons to myself, but i believe we can all tell that the way she thinks and acts is not exactly healthy for her or the people around her. she’s harmful to herself, andrew, and a lot of others. there’s genuinely So Much that has influenced the way she is, i kind of don’t even know where to start

she wasn’t “born evil,” like her mom says. she isn’t even “evil,” she just… doesn’t really understand. that’s not a bad thing!! she doesn’t understand what’s wrong with her behavior, because no adult ever taught her. no adult ever cared enough to make sure she learned how to treat people nicely. no adult ever paid attention to her harmful behavior and tried to correct it. we see that ashley has been kind of an asshole from a very early age, and she’s always been pretty blunt with her thoughts and feelings. she hasn’t ever felt the need to sugar-coat things, to spare other’s feelings. aside from andrew, nobody has ever been genuinely nice to her, or spared her feelings, so why should she bother?

similarly, she doesn’t lie too often, unlike andrew. she doesn’t like pretending, especially not with him. she says in game, during dinner with their parents, that she can’t “keep up” with andrew’s lies. we only really see her lie of her own accord once, and she doesn’t donit very convincingly.

she doesn’t really care about anything that doesn’t concern her or andrew, which is like. The Most logical path for her feelings to take. andrew is the only person that she’s ever known who cares about her. he’s been by her side for her entire life. her parents, her neighbors, and her friends have done wrong by her, and have been driven away by her… Her. except for andrew. (we’re ignoring the chapter two decay route for this). he’s been there through everything. he’s cared when no one else has. he’s seen her at her worst and her best moments. again, no adult taught her about caring, or pretending to care. she doesn’t feel the need to mask like andrew does, and she doesn’t have a want to “fit in” to a society that has failed her and her brother. she’s been treated as an outsider for her whole life, so she probably believes she’ll never “fit in,” she’ll never be accepted, and she doesn’t need to fit in or be accepted by them.

she greatly values loyalty in her friends. we see her act this way with andrew, with nina, and with julia. she sees people chosing others over her as a betrayal. other than andrew, no one has ever chosen ashley first. that upsets her!! that would upset anyone, but it especially upsets her because no one has ever chosen her first. her parents gave andrew all of their attention, but not her. her two friends have betrayed their friendship and put andrew above her. in game, she says it herself: she should be the top priority. with every encounter, every back-and-forth, every relationship, every decision, she’s waiting to be pushed aside. she’s waiting to be discarded. with andrew, she’ll do anything in her power to make sure he doesn’t leave her, either.

i think that it’s really interesting that she really is her worst self with andrew. she’s mean, she’s violent, she’s petty and crass and acts very childish, but she generally feels safe with him. she feels comfortable with him, and doesn’t feel the need to hold herself back at all. there’s security to be found in a relationship (of any kind) that you can say terrible things and act in horrible ways and that person stays by your side. that’s a huge part what she has with andrew. she trusts him to stay by her side, despite how awfully she may act. she places a Lot of importance on his presence in her life.

even the murder and cannibalism can be attributed to mental illness (along with The Plot). the intense mood swings that she has go along with her already violent tendencies. she feels anger, frustration, annoyance, and a whole bunch of other really negative emotions that she’s never learned to cope with. a lot of people in real life use violence as an outlet for anger. plus, she doesn’t allow herself feel upset or disgusted by death, even at her own hands (if she even feels it at all). despite that, i believe that murdering her parents had to be So cathartic for her and andrew. ashley explains in the decay route why eating people makes her feel powerful and in control, and being in control is something she very obviously feels that she lacks. she’s seen as manipulative, but she doesn’t really succeed at her manipulation. she’s understandably insecure with her entire existence, so she tries to control whoever and whatever she can, and that extends to andrew, murder, as well as cooking and eating people

there’s a lot to life that is treated as “normal” and “universal,” but everyone starts with absolutely no knowledge. experiences build a person’s worldview and shapes their personality, and ashley has had very rough experiences. she is a product of abuse and neglect and mistreatment, and is a very realistic depiction of a person who has had the experiences she’s had. the game has a pretty light tone despite the content, but it being “pretty light” doesn’t take away from the amount of detail that is put into the main characters and the trauma that they’ve suffered

ashley doesn’t have to be “good” or “positive” representation to be accurate representation, and i feel like nemlei has done a fucking excellent job at making a very, very unwell person (or two or three) in a very, very unwell society, and i am so extremely excited to see more of the graves’ childhood in chapter three

#tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #ashley graves #analysis #coffin.txt #i may be projecting a little but i share so many behaviors and thought patterns with her #this game… THIS GAME!!!!#‘scary’ mental illness club rise up 💪#autism club rise up 💪

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v3nusxsky · 9 months

Note

heey✨ I was wondering if you could do platonic lesso x student reader where r has a fainting disorder but hides it from lesso until she faints in front of her maybe in her arms 🥹 and then lesso steps into motherly mode immediately

thank you have a nice day/night you’re the best🤍

Good catch

*Authors note~ i hope this is okay for the anon because I’m not so sure on it :( and I must say I had to research for the condition so I'm sorry if it's not 110% factually correct.*

Trigger warnings~ Occupational syncope (fainting) scared r protective Leo

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

After your parents abandoned you because of your condition, you learnt to keep it very close to your chest. After all you couldn't risk losing anyone else now. As you grew in your age you got a lot better in managing the faints. Knowing your triggers made it easier to hide and that's how you managed to hide for such a long time at the school for good and evil.

Despite being an Ever, you were very close to the Dean of Evil, now the schools had combined there wasn't much of a restriction on bonding with Nevers. Leonora always seemed to want to help and support you, you thought it was because she felt sorry for you. Instead, it was because she sees so much of her younger self in you. Half of her wished you'd been placed in her school, so she could guide you more, but the other half wanted you to stay so pure and kind.

It was insane to think the schools would join together without any problems, after all both sides had been taught to avoid the other. In your case you didn't seem to be well liked by certain members of your own school, let alone the Nevers, that's why you often spent time alone studying. All that studying paid off, you just so happened to be top of your classes. But little did everyone know what was going on behind the scenes.

Standing up was a challenge for you, no matter how slow you got up, your vision would blur and it would feel like your body had an electrical current racing through it. On a few seconds to a minute long but enough to make you feel like complete rubbish. Other times, you'd be rubbing a tad late and would have to dash from one class to the other, you'd be left red faced, throbbing head as your vision dipped in and out. Sometimes you even saw spots. But sitting down and placing your head between your knees helped you to regulate.

The day Leonora found you was an accident. You'd accidentally annoyed the queen bee of the Evers. You'd beat her grade again, and apparently she was prepared to chance you down and make you suffer. Very un Ever like. But then again she'd been spending a lot of time with Hort. The running to escape was what triggered you off, you could feel the tale tale signs of a faint, but no opportunity to stop and listen to your body. You felt your consciousness leaving your body and your whole body falling forward, all you could do is let it happen. But instead of the cold, hard cobbled floors you feel into the one and only Dean of Evil.

Now she may be Dean of Evil however, seeing you faint like that caused her heart to clench painfully. She couldn't allow you to be hurt and acted on impulse to catch you and gently lower your body to the ground. From there she turned you on your left side (paramedics have actually done this to myself at 13 in a more embarrassing situation) running her fingers through your hair, hoping to rouse you back to consciousness. At that point the reason for you running almost ran straight over you, but thankfully the sight of the put together dean on the floor was enough to give them a pause.

When you came back too, you immediately tried to sit upright only to be held down by a strong hand, "shhh darling stay okay? Im sure your probably scared, have you fainted before y/n?" It was undeniably Lesso. "Mhm" you mumbled, blinking rapidly to take in your surroundings. There you saw Dovey with the few students who'd been chasing you, Lesso sat with you to ensure you didn't move and a few Nevers who'd been with the Evers. It took a lot to annoy the Dean of good, after all she radiated love and happiness so to see her so furious would've terrified you if you had enough energy to actually be scared.

Slowly but surly you sat up with the Deans help. A few orders barked at the others had them all scampering away, leaving you Clarissa and Leonora in the hall. "What happened lovely?" All you could do was shrug, "it happens sometimes. I'll lay down and be okay soon." Your half attempt at soothing them but also yourself. "Are you hurt?" You shook your head negative before Leonora chuckled, "only cause I caught you my dear."

You aren't sure why, but you leant on the red headed woman and closed your eyes, not asleep but resting. A few quiet words exchanged by the older women had Clarissa leaving you and Lesso to it. From there she helped you return to her office, laid you down on her sofa with a blanket. One simple instruction, "talk to me dove." And for some reason you did. You told her everything, a luxury no one else had ever had. And instead of leaving, she allowed you to rest your head in her lap and get some rest, she'd sort things out for you to help now she knew. You'd never be alone or left for this. You couldn't control it. And you'd always have a safe spot in her office to come and rest should you need it. Unknown to you both, but from there on out Lesso would be your unofficial mother, until one day she made it official. You would officially be hers.

Word count~ 1023

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #lady lesso #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #lady leonora lesso x reader #lesso #dovey x lesso #leonora lesso x reader #dean of evil x reader #dean of evil #dean of evil mother

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ssentimentals · 1 year

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(not) the girl's way {kim mingyu}

pairing: mingyu x fem!reader

prompt: with how much you stare at my lips, you’re ought to kiss me, don’t you think so? (or au, where girl takes the initiative and mingyu's got it bad for her)

warnings: none, pure fluff as always!

'so, kim mingyu. we gonna do something about all that staring or what?'

someone whistled, another person cheered in the background but all your attention was fixed on him and mingyu knew that he was gaping at you like a fish thrown on the sand but he couldn’t stop; god, you are incredible. you stood in front of him, staring at him with raised eyebrows and your whole demeanor screamed of impatience and ‘i’m done with your shit’ kind of vibes that both scared him and lured him in. he swallowed; words seemed to be so hard to pronounce, never mind putting them into actual sentences. after a full minute of a pregnant silence you rolled your eyes and stepped forward, throwing him out of the loop. 'wanna go see new fast and furious movie?'

mingyu did not trust his voice. he nodded and you nodded back, satisfied. there’s a small smile on your lips and his heart squeezed in his chest from the fact that he made you smile. his mind worked enough for him to slide his phone towards you and he couldn’t hide his own wide smile when he saw how you added pink flower emoji to your name. 'do not make me wait long for the message,' you said, before giving him a wink and walking away.

'ooh, a female that takes initiative - she’s a god sent for you, my friend!' seungkwan hollered, cackling at mingyu’s starstruck expression.

joshua, who sat next to mingyu, lightly patted his arm, asking for his attention. when mingyu turned, still looking like a lovesick puppy, joshua muttered: 'it’s about time someone tries to get you, not the other way around.'

mingyu couldn’t have agreed more.

ii.

mingyu loves love. he is one of those hopelessly romantic people, who are flying somewhere on the cloud nine whenever they are in love. he loves making effort, loves trying, loves making his feelings clear as a day - he loves making his partner feel loved, putting a smile on their pretty face. he’s ready to do whatever it takes to make them happy and sometimes - all the fucking time, jeonghan’s voice corrects in his mind - he forgets about himself. he loses himself in the feeling and doesn’t notice how somehow he is the only one who’s making effort, how he doesn’t get appreciated enough, how he doesn’t get even a ‘thank you’ back. mingyu gives, gives and gives until there’s nothing left to give and even then he tries to scramble the last pieces. his friends grew to be wary of his relationships, bad past experiences taught them not to get excited for him whenever he announces his new crush or gets into relationships; they assess first and most of the times pull mingyu out of the dirt because they can’t stop him when he’s high from love in the start. and with time mingyu grew wary as well; he learned not to always act on his impulses and think first, trying to be cold-hearted about some stuff. which is the reason why he never approached you even when after all the amount of time he stared at you. his rational mind told him to first check you out, to learn more information about you and he acted on it, although his heart screamed at him to go and get your number. so when you came up to him yourself, you fascinated him. and when you orchestrated everything about your first date together he thought that he was dreaming. you showed your interest in him just like he did - clear as a day.

'stop zoning out on me,' you snap two fingers in front of his face, chuckling at mingyu’s blush. 'where did you go there?'

'just..’ he licks his lip, clearing his throat. 'are you always like that? this forward with guys?'

'you seem to like it,' you say, winking. your face turns serious then: 'i just think.. why wait? i can come up first. i can ask someone out on a date first. if i like someone, i better take a chance on them instead of wasting my time. but with you - you were staring so much and so hard, i thought you’d glare a hole in my head if i don’t do something about it soon.'

mingyu is pretty sure that his cheeks are the color of red roses he gave to you earlier. he stares at you and you stare back, which again is not something he’s used to as no one usually holds his gaze without quickly averting it. but you are different; there’s no shyness, you don’t hold back, you are forward and open and— mingyu is in love, a little. then you raise your eyebrow and ask if he likes what he sees cause he’s been staring at you this whole time and..scratch that ‘little’ part. mingyu is in love, a lot.

iii.

'you are up in your head again.' you poke at mingyu’s forehead, making him blink and then smile as he focuses his gaze on you. 'what have you been thinking about?'

mingyu hesitates. he’s not sure how to tell you or if he even should tell you; he’s always been a perfect gentleman but lately your lips look more kissable than before and his mind is filled with different scenarios of how he can make your first kiss perfect, he just needs to pick one. you shuffle closer to him, putting the movie on pause. mingyu moves his hand, making it more comfortable for you to snuggle at his right side; he smiles adoringly when you let out a satisfied hum. 'you are so obvious even when you think you’re being sneaky,' you suddenly say, making him gulp nervously.

'really?' mingyu asks, fully aware that his voice is wavering. 'i’m not being sneaky.'

you fully turn to him, sitting up straighter so your eyes could on the same level. 'with how much you stare at my lips, you’re ought to kiss me, don’t you think so?'

mingyu first stares at you in shock and then shakes his head in disbelief. you straddle his legs, wrapping your arms around his neck, grinning at him. 'am i wrong?'

'no,' mingyu’s hand automatically wrap around your waist, keeping you stable. 'i’m just in awe of you.' he reaches out, gently stroking your cheek with his finger. he knows all of the emotions can be easily read form his face and he hopes you can tell how much you mean to him through his eyes. 'i never had that before, you know?'

'a kiss?' you ask, making him chuckle. ‘don’t lie to me, mister.’

'no, i meant someone who’s forward, who is not afraid, not shy to show me that they like me.'

his voice is quiet and he sighs, settling for rubbing circles with his thumbs on your hips. you nibble at your bottom lip, looking at him with unreadable expression. your hands are stroking your shoulders in a calming way and when you grip them tight, he knows it’s a sign for wanting attention. 'i do like you,' you say simply and his heart grows five times in his chest. 'and i kind of- i mean, it’s a bit obvious from the way that you’re acting that you got burned before for giving too much. but hey,' you lean in closer, your noses almost touching, 'guess what? i’m a giver too. your effort and affection will always be reciprocated with me.'

it’s like there was a a vice holding his heart and now it broke, setting him free. it's like take a big gulp of air after being underwater. everything inside him lights up, all of the pent up feelings find release in a sweet kiss that he pulls you in. and you kiss him back, give as much as you get and it's intoxicating. when he leans back, you start peppering his face with kisses and it's the best feeling ever. mingyu smiles so widely, he fears his face will break. 'i like you too,' he supplies helpfully, realizing that he haven't said that before.

you lean back a little, grinning. 'no shit, sherlock.' he cackles and you lean in again, pressing your foreheads together. 'effort is sexy, trying is sexy. i do it and you do it too, deal?'

mingyu nods, pecking your lips. 'deal.'

written for: @imanilie (hope it was okay!)

tag list: @pearlygraysky @woozionascooter @smalliechelle @jaetaimjadore @yeow6n

a/n: check out my other works here :) - nini

#kim mingyu #kim mingyu x reader #seventeen kim mingyu #seventeen x you #seventeen imagine #seventeen scenarios #svt x reader #mingyu x you #mingyu imagines #svt kim mingyu #seventeen fluff #svt imagine #svt mingyu

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bonefall · 6 months

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the whole thing with the author defending (?) tom the wife beater is so repulsive, and then you read it again and i don’t think bumble is mentioned ONCE. she scrounges for sympathy with turtle tail, but the other one? the fat, useless, other one? forget her! (this is negative towards the authors, i adore the better bones stuff, esp how bumble is treated. vote bumble :) )

I really cannot get over it... to angrily write out a whole screed on how the strongest punishment is regret and not consequence, compare the sentiment of a reader that "Tom didn't deserve heaven" to his physical abuse of Turtle Tail, and then not even mention his other crimes of kidnapping and torture.

Even in death, Bumble isn't important enough to mention. As the books continue, they even continue to only mention her death as an unfortunate accident, or evidence of why kittypets can't join Clans. Even though she was MURDERED.

I think the statement is a good exercise in the difference between a post advocating rehabilitative justice, and abuse apologia just dressed up as it.

There IS a point to be made about how the idea of a Hell/Prison just makes bad people worse. We often have a desire to punish, because we FEEL better getting catharsis seeing A Bad Guy suffer like they hurt others. But that alone doesn't really fix or address a problem.

For example, it's really common to feel that kind of revulsion at a drug addict who robs a convenience store for money. Does it actually reduce addiction rates, or undo the trauma of the assaulted cashier, or help prevent it from ever happening again to throw the robber in a broken prison where they come out, 7 years later, with no rehabilitation?

The answer is no. It didn't help anyone. 7 years pass and he's still addicted to substances, possibly even worse, because prison just made his life shittier. As a leftist we can recognize that compassion is usually the answer.

(Unless, of course... someone needs to be removed from a position of power or actively prevented from attacking others. Violence is the answer sometimes.)

But the thing is, the author didn't SAY that. What they did was compare the impulse for catharsis, to TOM'S DESIRE TO BEAT HIS WIFE.

NO, those are NOT the same thing. Your desire for comeuppance towards a wifebeater character getting a redemption reward for "saving his child" after a long life of cruelty without consequences, is NOT THE SAME as Tom the Wifebeater inflicting pain and suffering on people out of spite.

She had to phrase it in the worst possible way for this argument to even LOOK like it made sense. "She broke HIS rule of Don't Be Mean To Tom" vs "He broke YOUR rule of Don't Be Mean To Turtle Tail." And "Now he's being taught how to be lovely"

Physical abuse, emotional abuse, and kidnapping are not "being mean" and it's both sick and insightful that she'd call it that

Domestic abuse is not a "failure to be lovely," it's the act of harming your family or partner to control them.

Tom the Wifebeater is a character who was not written with a scrap of nuance. He is not a real person. All they did with him was consistently show how much pleasure hurting people gives him, then say him dying for his biokid absolved everything

So in this series where you establish there are Born Evil Truly Malicious people (ONE EYE IS IN THE SAME BOOK), but then turn around to cry that Tom the Wifebeater can be made lovely off-screen...

You end up saying that domestic abuse isn't in your arbitrary "evil" category.

And that's so fucking fitting for the arc of Clear Sky's "redemption," where the same book ends off on Thunder saying that his abusive, woman-killing dad wasn't so bad all along because he's not like One Eye.

The answer's just that simple. They don't think male abuse is all that terrible because it's the same as an impulse; explicitly not malice. So it doesn't make you "evil," and only "evil" people deserve the Dark Forest.

(Dont question the Dark Forest as a concept or how starclan defines evil though :x dont worry about it :x)

#Anyway thank u it is my honorbound duty to give all the women a kiss on the head in BB #Bone babble #I should go back and tag these as Tom Authorial Statement or something

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muninnhuginn · 7 months

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I do sometimes just like chucking ideas at the wall just because I think they're thematically really cool but have no real stake in them being canon.

So say for instance, I often wonder why Lu Guang latched onto Cheng Xiaoshi. Realistically, it's likely linked to his whole thing about CXS being "naïve" and acting impulsively to help people.

And then I think about how s1 and s2 both have visuals with Lu Guang at the very top of a building. How Emma herself wanted to kill herself by falling. And I'm like, wouldn't it be really neat if CXS's action to help Lu Guang in the first timeline was to talk him out of suicide?

The implications are so fascinating when you think about the fact that Lu Guang being saved then means he wants to save Cheng Xiaoshi. A life for a life.

But not even that, because Lu Guang was willing to die in the s1 finale if it saved Cheng Xiaoshi. A hypocrite with going against his rules, but even beyond that, still bargaining away his own life. Telling CXS what to do as he ignores what CXS himself taught him. Cheng Xiaoshi always wanted him to save himself.

And thinking how the node they keep returning to is Emma's. How Cheng Xiaoshi almost talked *her* out of suicide before she was possessed and the option taken from her.

The recurrence of "falling" and all the different forms that takes.

#link click #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren spoilers #putting this under posts I make because my cat is cosplaying as a lemming and keeps falling off furniture.#but ye it's so juicy thematically. the idea of holding onto the little things that keeps coming up in s1.#that culminates in cxs's speech to emma. imagining him giving a similar speech to lg?

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amuelia · 10 months

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Hey Amulia i reall, like your Art

But Roose Bolton gives a less sinister apperance in your drawing and not the sociopath he is in the story

So my request is can you draw a young Roose Bolton who Experiments with fresh human skin , which would be Story-wise logical based of his comments on the Qualität of it from his older version in Reek III?

"Only Lady Barbrey, whom you would turn into a pair of boots … inferior boots. Human skin is not as tough as cowhide and will not wear as well. By the king’s decree you are now a Bolton. Try and act like one. Tales are told of you, Ramsay. I hear them everywhere. People fear you.” [...]

“You are mistaken. It is not good. No tales were ever told of me. Do you think I would be sitting here if it were otherwise? Your amusements are your own, I will not chide you on that count, but you must be more discreet. A peaceful land, a quiet people. That has always been my rule. Make it yours.” - Reek III, aDwD

There are some important aspects to the Roose - Ramsay dynamic:

a) The only reason Roose was interested in seeking out Ramsay is that he ran out of options, and Ramsay is the last person available who shares his Bolton blood. Personality-wise, he and Ramsay are very different.

b) Nevertheless, because Ramsay is born as a bastard of a peasant woman, Roose sees his blood as "tainted", repeatedly refers to it like that, and blames it for Ramsays bad nature

"Perhaps such service might atone in some small measure for whatever crimes his bastard blood has led him to commit." He shrugged. "Or not. When the war is done, His Grace must weigh and judge. By then I hope to have a trueborn son by Lady Walda." - Catelyn VI, aSoS

c) Ramsay is a peasant's son, didn't grow up at the Dreadfort, and did not have a nobleborn's education. He got raised by his servant Reek and his mother. Most of his "education" appears to be what these two taught him.

“Bulls are strong. Bears. I have seen my bastard fight. He is not entirely to blame. Reek was his tutor, the first Reek, and Reek was never trained at arms. Ramsay is ferocious, I will grant you, but he swings that sword like a butcher hacking meat.” - Reek III, aDwD

"The woman disobeyed me, though. You see what Ramsay is. She made him, her and Reek, always whispering in his ear about his rights. He should have been content to grind corn. Does he truly think that he can ever rule the north?" - Reek III, aDwD

d) Roose looks down on lowborn people, and knows keenly about the differences between nobles and commoners.

"—my lord, when you should have said m'lord. Your tongue betrays your birth with every word you say. If you want to sound a proper peasant, say it as if you had mud in your mouth, or were too stupid to realize it was two words, not just one." - Reek III

In the entire Reek III chapter you can see Roose being exasperated with Ramsay and mocking his bad/impulsive decisionmaking and lack of know-how around navigating complex political situations.

The meaning of the human boots line becomes pretty clear when you look at the line that follows directly after:

Human skin is not as tough as cowhide and will not wear as well. By the king’s decree you are now a Bolton. Try and act like one.

Like, any peasant can try out making boots out of human skin and then notice they don't work, but a real noble would not even attempt this in the first place because they would have teachers and servants that can inform them. Anyone with a real noble Bolton upbringing would have heard a story about a Bolton wearing human skin in a history lesson, ask the maester if that is actually possible, and get taught that it is not as tough as cowhide. Ramsay is lacking even knowledge as basic as that.

Ramsay is not being mocked for merely lacking experience, he is being mocked for his entire existence: a baseborn rube whose only reference for "being a Bolton" is peasant stories and legends.

The flayed man was the sigil of House Bolton, Theon knew; ages past, certain of their lords had gone so far as to cloak themselves in the skins of dead enemies. A number of Starks had ended thus. Supposedly all that had stopped a thousand years ago, when the Boltons had bent their knees to Winterfell. Or so they say, but old ways die hard, as well I know. - Theon IV, aCoK

Roose made a face, as if the ale he was sipping had suddenly gone sour. “There are times you make me wonder if you truly are my seed. My forebears were many things, but never fools. No, be quiet now, I have heard enough. - Reek III, aDwD

They hunt together, the Bastard and this Reek, and not for deer. I've heard tales, things I can scarce believe, even of a Bolton. - Bran II, aCoK

Ramsay's persona appears completely informed by northern legends about the Boltons; scary stories about flaying people and wearing their skins which were likely all he had growing up to model himself after. Ramsay thinks fear and cruelty makes him respected, and where Roose acts polite and lordly in public, Ramsay fully embraces ancient/mythical customs like using flaying as threats and ferocious displays.

Jon saw no reason not to tell him. "Moat Cailin is taken. The flayed corpses of the ironmen have been nailed to posts along the kingsroad." - Jon VI, aDwD

Belthasar Bolton's Pink Pavilion made from the flayed skins of a hundred Sistermen... - tWoIaF

"Save me the Freys," the Bastard was shouting as the flames roared upward, "and burn the rest. Burn it, burn it all." - Theon VI, aCoK

King Royce Bolton, Second of His Name, is said to have taken and burned Winterfell itself; his namesake and descendant Royce IV (remembered by history as Royce Redarm, for his habit of plunging his arm into the bellies of captive foes to pull out their entrails with his bare hand) did the same three centuries later. - tWoiaF

The books always play coy about just how much of the "old customs" are still present in the Boltons and it is generally part of their stereotype and what people will rumour about; however it is clear that by the time of the modern story, it is NOT what they present as their public image.

Eddard Stark had never had any reason to complain of the Lord of the Dreadfort, so far as Jon knew, but even so he had never trusted him, with his whispery voice and his pale, pale eyes. - Jon VII, aDwD

Domeric, who is a trueborn Bolton, gets a good education like any other nobleborn, and is said to have enjoyed reading history books and to have the potential to be a good jouster (both kind of serving as contrast to Ramsay). Roose praises him for those "normal" traits.

"For the moment. I had another, once. Domeric. A quiet boy, but most accomplished. He served four years as Lady Dustin's page, and three in the Vale as a squire to Lord Redfort. He played the high harp, read histories, and rode like the wind. [...] Redfort said he showed great promise in the lists. A great jouster must be a great horseman first." - Reek III, aDwD

Roose is for sure guilty of many crimes (he even admits to rape on page) that he could be arrested for, however, the point of the human boots is not to draw a parallel between Ramsay's and Roose's hobbies, but rather, to illustrate their differences. Perhaps the Dreadfort still tortures by flaying (though Roose, as most lords, generally delegates such work; see here, here and here), or has the rumoured room of human skins, or any such things; but here Roose specifically mocks Ramsay for his bad education and lack of cultural knowledge. Roose would not have to "experiment" as Ramsay does; he would be taught by his father and teachers in the ways of his house, and emerge a man highly educated and skilled.

#mein art von roose in rosa high heels ist 100% canon und logisch btw #asoiaf meta #asoiaf #roose bolton #ramsay bolton #not art

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arrestmebobbygoren · 12 days

Text

Queer Theory Song Analysis: 'Should've Said No' by Taylor Swift

Have we talked Queer Longing? Taylor’s music embodies Queer Longing. Looking from afar, seeing everything, hoping for nothing, and memorizing every detail because you know that this is the closest you will ever get to touching.

On the surface, this song can read as your typical country song: guy succumbs to his weak nature and does a good woman wrong.

But notice that Taylor never actively genders the character she is in dialogue with as ‘male’; we as the audience, who are socialized into a heteronormative perspective, will do this for her — because we learn to link active traits, such as pursuit of sexual desires, with maleness.

But the conversation that Taylor is textually engaged with in this song is really one of activeness vs passivity, where the passive position is given the moral weight.

Now the same socialization that teaches us that agency is the right and, quite frankly, the responsibility of ‘maleness’ also teaches us that passivity is the moral essence of ‘femaleness’. Women are damsels in distress who must wait for Prince Charming, who, in turn, may only settle down once he has thoroughly exhausted himself sowing his wild oats (though of course not with the chaste object of his castrated desire).

And while taking on the mantle of female passivity can be too much for any one person to bear, this weight can be particularly crippling for queer women, whose socialization may make them feel simultaneously alienated from and by their own sexual desires. Because when women are only taught how to be desired (and have to learn on the fly how to shield themselves from the often unwanted and sometimes downright dangerous gaze of men), it can feel incredibly disconcerting and even monstrous to discover oneself in the position of desirer, particularly if the object of this desire is another woman.

While the hetero read of this song is perfectly valid, I find that Taylor’s music always gains an additional degree of complexity when examined through a queer lens.

And this song is no different. What on the surface can read as the righteous anger of a woman betrayed by a man with a wandering eye and an open fly suddenly vaults to a higher gear when viewed as a woman mocked and taunted by her own unexpressed desires, which I think can be distilled down to two narratives.

On one hand, we can see Taylor railing against the ease with which a man can casually pursue the women he desires without consequence, while she holds herself back from doing the same, due to societal and familial expectations, professional ambitions and internalized homophobia.

On the other hand, we can see a Taylor who has bifurcated herself for the same of survival, into the passive angel who yearns but never acts, and the devil who lives for the hope of it all and occasionally slips out, only to be chastised and shamed into repent by the part of herself that retains the moral high ground.

It is this latter point of view I find to be the most compelling framework from which to examine this song.

We begin with the ‘socialized' version of Taylor shaming herself for her newly discovered desire of what she considers to be base and impure impulses. Against a backdrop of immense promise, this precocious golden child can’t help but feel like she has become something grotesque.

[Verse 1]

It's strange to think the songs we used to sing

The smiles, the flowers, everything is gone

Yesterday, I found out about you

Even now, just lookin' at you feels wrong

Taylor finger wags, she shames, she extracts a concession from herself. It was a one-time impulse, a singular loss of judgment, a moment of weakness that she vows never again to let herself repeat.

[Pre-Chorus]

You say that you'd take it all back

Given one chance

It was a moment of weakness

And you said yes

Taylor creates a mantra (turn if off, like a light switch, and if you can’t, well then REPRESS, BY GOD, REPRESS!), strengthens her resolve, and she reminds herself of why she has to keep herself in check. She has a reputation to manage. She shouldn’t even have to have this conversation with herself. Her eye should be on the prize of fame and success at all times. And if this rogue part of herself would be so kind as to just shut up and disappear, she wouldn’t have to beat herself up so.

[Chorus]

You should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go

You should've known that word

'Bout what you did with her'd get back to me (Get back to me)

And I should've been there in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet

You should've said no

Baby, and you might still have me

Unfortunately, she can’t put this genie back in the bottle. She can’t trust herself to stick to the script and behave, now that she’s seen what lies beneath.

[Verse 2]

You can see that I've been cryin'

And baby, you know all the right things to say

But do you honestly expect me to believe

We could ever be the same?

[Pre-Chorus]

You say that the past is the past

You need one chance

It was a moment of weakness

And you said yes

But at least she can handcuff the desirous self to her disciplined self, and blindfold her, and maybe tie her ankles for good measure.

[Chorus]

You should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go

You should've known that word

'Bout what you did with her’d get back to me (Get back to me)

And I should've been there in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet

You should've said no

Baby, and you might still have me

Oh, oh

The great escape! The prison break! The light of freedom on her face! The desirous self is not going quietly. And for a second, Taylor loses her resolve. She longs to feel and taste and touch and know! She begs the desirous self to dish! Will she just live vicariously? Or will she throw it all away?

[Bridge]

I can't resist

Before you go, tell me this

Was it worth it?

Was she worth this?

No, no

No, no, no, no

No! (You knew this was coming). The gag goes on. The desirous self gets lowered into the trunk. This is Taylor’s version. She is calculated. She is a business, man. And she won’t let herself get in her own way. She can do it with a broken heart.

[Chorus]

You should've said no, you should've gone home

You should've thought twice 'fore you let it all go

You should've known that word

'Bout what you did with her’d get back to me (Get back to me)

And I should've been there, in the back of your mind

I shouldn't be asking myself why

You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet

You should've said no

Baby, and you might still have me

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luvvixu · 9 months

Text

izana x reader (she/her)

🌃🌙 those nights

genre: fluff

synopsis: just some every night scenario with your lovely husband.

warning: none, i guess?

word count: 580

a/n: am back and ready to attack :< hahhwhaah pretend that i didn't disappear for a long time

song: perfect by one direction

it was summer midnight and you were asleep in your shared bed, with izana nestling comfortably in your embrace. you are in deep sleep while your husband is wide awake. he was fiddling and playing with your fingers where your wedding ring was situated.

oh how izana loved the sensation of the ring he specifically picked for your finger as you two sealed your faith by the love and law.

he also loves comparing his wedded finger to yours, like how adorable your hands looks on his and how the sizes are different.

this man also reminisces those small moments just the two of you, your husband turned from a delinquent to a tamed puppy. sometimes, he even wonders what kind of spell you did to his mind and body that he seems always reaching out for you.

nevertheless, he was happy that you're one he ended up with. you were kind, caring, really knows how to tame his own dark impulses, and his most favorite thing about you, is that you're a great mentor in loving himself.

izana learned to love himself because you taught him well. he learned to accept who he is and who he used to be. that's all because of you, you and only you—and izana loves you so much for it.

overall, izana felt like living in a dream where he did not want to wake up. you were his solace, a perfect dynamic, and the mother of his future children. now that you two are married, the man would always keep to himself about his imaginations of building a family with you.

the thought of carrying his lineage makes his stomach burst with a sanctuary of butterflies. that thought alone made him unconsciously nestles even harder in your embrace, making you jolt slightly in your sleep.

but this time, you got woke up for real. as you open your eyes, you see your white haired husband murmuring incoherently.

sensing your small movement, izana looked up and saw your eyes meeting him. the man smiled so dearly, his amethyst eyes screaming with pure love and adoration towards you.

"why aren't you sleeping yet?" your voice came out a bit hoarse as you've just woken up.

"i have self-diagnosed insomnia." he said. you don't know if he's joking or not but you let out a chuckle at his witty response.

stroking his almost long white hair, izana couldn't help but act like a touch deprived baby as he aches for your touch. "do you want me to sing you a lullaby?"

"yes please, mahal ko." he nodded, burying his face on the crook of your neck.

"alright, a-ahem…" izana watches you clearing your throat, preparing for a soft lullaby. he knows that you know that your voice serves as his melatonin, his sleeping aid.

literally speaking, izana could fall asleep while listening to your soft voice. it gives him deep comfort and assurance that you are here by his side.

"where the north wind meets the sea, there's a river full of memory. sleep, my darling, safe and sound. for in this river, all is found."

"is that a song from that disney movie we watched yesterday?" he asked. "yeah, it's perfect to sing a lullaby." you answered.

"kantahan mo ulit ako, mahal ko." izana tightens his hold on your body as you continue to sing. slowly, izana found himself drifting from sleep.

that night, izana did not dream of anything—because he was already living inside a dream, he was there in your arms.

translation (filipino - english)

mahal ko - my love

kantahan mo ulit ako - sing for me again

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