#shannons silly ideas
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Obikin College AU - RA/Don!Obi-Wan/First year!Anakin - Part One
I’ve been reading a lot of modern au Obikin fics recently, so one could say I’m on a bit of a kick.
That’s where this idea comes from!! I’m gonna outline it below so I can reference this if I ever decide to write it/for your enjoyment. Also, the pic is what I imagine they look like 😎.
Link to Part Two
Link to Part Three
Anakin and Obi-Wan go to Uni together.
It’s Anakin’s first year, and he moves into residence ready for FROSH week.
Obi-Wan is a RA/ Don for Anakin’s residence building, mainly because it looks good on a résumé and it helps cut living expenses.
Anakin becomes obsessed with him. When he first moved in, he was honestly going to skip all the FROSH stuff, opting to explore the new city on his own. After meeting Obi-Wan he is the first one to show up for all their activities, volunteering to help whenever he can. Anything to be on the older boy’s radar.
They get through FROSH, Anakin flirting desperately through little side comments the entire time. Obi-Wan just believes he’s excited and eager about the events.
During FROSH, Anakin makes friends with other incoming students - Padmé, Rex and Ahsoka. They become a little group. Everyone is quite fed up with Anakin’s Obi-Wan obsession after the week. They pray once the semester starts and they no longer spend every day with Obi-Wan he will shut up. He doesn’t.
“Dude, do us all a favour and actually talk to him.” “Please, Anakin, we really can’t take this anymore.”
“Oh Come on guys, what are friends for if not to listen to each other ramble about highly likely unrequited crushes?”
He does try to talk to Obi-Wan one on one during FROSH. To say it was a little awkward would be an understatement.
“So, what’s your major?”
“English/Literature with a minor in philosophy.”
“That’s nice. I read a book once.”
They kinda just stare at each other and then Anakin rushes back to his little group of friends who all wear mortified expressions.
“Dude…”
“Don’t even! I was nervous!”
After this, they don’t really speak during FROSH, until the last night of events. They are the only two left cleaning up after the evenings activities.
“Thanks for all of your help. I really appreciate it.”
“Oh, no worries!” Please marry me
“Out of curiosity… what is the one book you’ve read?”
“I’ve read more than one book!”
“I sort of figured, considering the University acceptance and all.”
“Yeah… I don’t know why I said that.”
“It’s alright, it was charming. In a himbo sort of way.”
Oh my god, you think I’m charming? Take me right here in the common room, I’ll show you charming.
The semester starts and they don’t see as much of each other anymore.
Part of Obi-Wan’s job as RA/Don is to take shifts working the desk in the lobby of their building. He does this every Friday night.
Anakin discovers this by accident. He and the gang had been at an off-campus party. They’re coming home late one night, all quite drunk.
As they walk through the door and see Obi-Wan everyone starts giggling and poking at Anakin as he flushes.
“Hello folks.” Obi-Wan greets cheerily.
“Hello Obi-Wan.” Ahsoka smirks at Anakin.
“Did you tell him yet?” Rex pushes him forward.
“Tell me what?”
Nothing! It was nice seeing you Obi-Wan!” Anakin ushers them all toward his room, leaving behind a confused Obi-Wan.
Every Friday afterward, Anakin takes advantage of the knowledge that Obi-Wan is working the desk.
He hangs around, striking casual conversation. They talk about anything and everything. School, classes, hobbies, music, other interests. They become well-acquainted.
“You’re telling me you’d pick The Cure over the Smiths?”
“Oh, of course. Easily. The Smiths are so depressing.”
“So is The Cure, idiot! At least Morrisey’s hot about it.”
“Are you saying Robert Smith isn’t hot?”
Anakin flirts shamelessly. Oblivious, Obi-Wan doesn’t catch the hints and just thinks Anakin is killing time waiting for his friends. Unbeknownst to him, Anakin bails on his friends every Friday to hang out at the front desk.
“You sure you don’t want to come tonight, Ani?”
“It’s his Obi-Wan night. He won’t come.”
Another part of Obi-Wan’s job is being the “Don on Duty”. This means he responds to any complaints/emergencies the residents have. He carries around a special phone for emergencies. He does this every Saturday night. Again, Anakin discovers this by accident.
A loud knock at his door interrupts Anakin’s dorm room party. He and his friends are wasted, watching movies and screaming about them.
He opens the door to reveal Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is looking down. “I’ve received several noise complaints about this room. You guys are going to have to - Anakin?” He cuts himself off once he looks up and blue meets blue.
“Obi-Wan! Come drink with us!”
“Anakin, I can’t. I’m on duty.”
“Oh come on, pretty pretty please?”
“I-,”
“Don’t say no! Please”
“Oh fine, but if this phone goes off I have to leave. And we really must be quiet.”
Obi-Wan spends the evening getting drunk with Anakin and his friends. Thankfully the phone doesn’t go off.
They watch films together, everyone growing drowsy. Anakin curls up next to Obi-Wan and rests his head on his shoulder. When Obi-Wan wraps his arm around him and holds him close, it’s merely because he’s drunk and tired.
That night, the two finally exchange phone numbers.
Anakin starts texting Obi-Wan relentlessly. Obi-Wan would call it harassment.
Anakin: do you ever think about the overwhelming and paralyzing passage of time? How you can’t do anything to stop it? (Sent at 3:42 am)
Obi-Wan: no, but I am now. (Sent at 3:44 am)
Anakin: lolz look at this silly kitty pic. He’s u! (Sent at 3:47 am)
Obi-Wan: go to sleep!!!!! (Sent at 3:48 am)
Anakin: jeez ok Mr. Grumpy pants 😡😡 (Sent at 3:50 am, Read at 3:50 am)
Obi-Wan starts getting invited to Anakin’s friend group hang outs. He was charming enough last time. Truthfully, it’s mostly because if he’s there, it saves the others from having to hear Anakin yearn for him all night.
Alright, this is kind of just the general idea/ all I’ve got right now! Lemme know if you guys want to hear more or have any suggestions! My DM’s are always open if anyone wants to brainstorm, or just chat in general!
I’d also be down as heck to rp this if anyone was interested.
Thank you for reading if you’ve gotten this far!!
I’ll update it later when I think of more! (:
EDIT: I've created a second part to this! if you wanna read more, the link to part two can be found at the top of this post!
#obikin#aniobi#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#obikin rp#star wars#padme amidala#obi wan and anakin#ahsoka tano#captain rex#modern au#obikin modern au#alternate universe#college au#uni au#shannons silly ideas#ewan mcgregor#hayden christensen#obi wan x anakin
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sunday sentences 💕
tagged by @rogerzsteven @loveyouanyway @bekkachaos @exhuastedpigeon @daffi-990 @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @evanbegins @wh0re-behavi0r @hoodie-buck
tagging if you are so inclined 💕 @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @ronordmann @loveyourownsmiilee @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @shortsighted-owl @babytrapperdiaz @messyhairdiaz @stagefoureddiediaz @fiona-fififi @thekristen999 @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @spaceprincessem @heartshapedvows @diazsdimples @loserdiaz
Unless finale with firefam sillies 💕
Buck meets him in the middle section and beams so brightly at him that Eddie breathes easier. He could forget his own name when Buck looks at him with so much joy and adoration.
Even just the simple act of sitting next to each other, pressing arms and thighs together while on the way to a call puts the whole world back in alignment. Eddie’s finally back on the job and Buck is finally, finally next to him in all the ways he needs, all the ways that matter.
It’s suspiciously quiet in the truck as they pull out of the station. There’s radio chatter about the traffic collision they’re on the way to. Nothing that sounds serious. But no one says anything else.
Because Hen and Chimney are both staring. At him? At them? From their spots on either side of Buck and Eddie. They have wide-eyed, expectant expressions that are kind of tense and intense and a lot like being caught snitching cookies but instead of being scolded, someone is just waiting for a confession or admittance of guilt.
Buck looks back and forth between both of them and chooses to play dumb. “What is with the staring? I know Eddie is really pretty, but both of you have wives.”
Eddie bites his lip and is not going to turn red. His face is not going to get hot and he’s not going to say anything he doesn’t have to. Not.
“Technically,” Chim says in a drawn out, this-is-also-only-formality kind of way. “She’s not my wife yet. Soon. Very soon. But not yet.” He grins brightly then, almost as brightly as Buck was. “She asked me to marry her though. I’m going to marry her.”
Eddie smiles back at him, and only aches with maybe two-thirds of his whole being.
He’s never had that. He’s never been so ecstatically happy and excited about being able to get married. He loved Shannon. He did. She’ll always be his first love and the disastrous way it turned out doesn’t erase that. Frank’s voice always reminds him. But the idea of marriage wasn’t exactly happy then. For either of them.
And knowing how it turned out and how neither of them knew how to be a partner to the other and how he never got to enjoy the little things about sharing his life with someone, not even housework and chores and dinners together. It only makes the aching Eddie now has in his chest that much worse.
He wants that kind of partnership so much. He wants Buck to be his husband. He wants every minute, every day, whole lifetimes of being with him in that way. He wants to be excited about getting married and being married.
It’s too soon though.
It’s brand new. They’re working on it.
They have so much to work on.
“What about everyone else?” Hen asks with pointed staring face again. “Any more wedding plans? New dates that we’re going on? Changes in relationship status?”
“Anything to share with the rest of the class?” Chim adds then holds up a hand like a stop now forever. “Anything that is not filthy gory hooking up because I think I speak for everyone when I say, we’ve had enough of hearing about Buck’s sex life. More than enough. Too much. Bad time all around.”
“Okay,” Buck says with his own dismissive hand wave. “I have it way worse. When you talk about your sex life, I have to know that it’s with my sister, and that is just—” he makes a sour, disgusted face and shakes his head. “That’s worse.”
“I don’t talk about my sex life here in this sacred vehicle of life saving,” Chim protests.
Hen gives him a side eye. “You sometimes talk about your sex life here. In this sacred vehicle of life saving.”
“Fine, one time. It was important. We didn’t know how to do the— never mind. You know what else is important?” Chim looks back to Buck and Eddie still pressed together in the middle of their sacred vehicle of gossip and asking too much information. “Telling your friends, your family, your sacred battlefield brethren. Brethren and sisteren?” He glances at Hen and asks, “What would the word even be? Why is language so annoyingly sexist?”
She gives him a “you know why” look.
And he shrugs and continues. “We are your sacred colleagues, comrades-in-arms, ride-or-die, hashtag squad goals!”
“How do you even know ‘squad goals’?” Buck asks and Eddie would also like to know the answer to this question. Because he has never heard of it either and that is not something he will admit ever.
“My nephew taught me. He knows everything. You should know.”
“Your nephew?” Buck gives him a strange look. “Don’t tell me Albert has a secret kid no one knows about.”
Chim makes indignant gestures, likely at the lack of comprehension, because that is definitely his “everyone missed my reference” reaction and he looks to Hen for sympathy.
Oh. Oh, but Eddie gets it. Of course that’s where Chim learned it.
“He’s marrying your sister,” Hen deadpan explains. “Therefore he’s your brother-in-law and any child of yours would be his niece or nephew. Or chosen non-binary equivalent.”
It takes a second, but then a rosy pink flush colors Buck’s cheeks as he grins his “I love Christopher more than all the things” grin.
It’s way too cute. It’s too special and too sweet, and Eddie can’t stop the smile that touches his own face either. But he can press his leg against Buck’s and dream about holding both him and Chris in the biggest three-person family hug.
read on to snippet #2
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losing my mind a bit, and need to try and get my thoughts in order BUT!
there is just.. something to be said with this season, and how they constantly like to reaffirm for us buck’s place in christopher’s life.
literally starting off the season with eddie opening up to buck about chris and him dating multiple girls at once, asking buck to talk to him (instead of simply asking him for advice to handle the situation, or even asking his girlfriend who- is a girl and would probably be better in that department! but anyway!).
and then showing us buck’s jealousy of chris thinking tommy is “so cool” (we all know now where that stemmed from, but i am still convinced he was confusing a bunch of feelings at once- and even oliver has said buck had no idea what / who he was jealous about!), and when tommy goes over to talk to buck about the basketball court incident- tommy tells him just how much christopher “can’t shut up” about him. and not to forget buck’s face when he says that and how it lasted a few seconds longer than it probably should have
…. and now; whatever the fuck is going on with helen and ramon coming to visit. my money is on abuela getting / feeling sick after the wedding (hence why eddie is still in the same shirt he wore to the hospital wedding in that still of him and chris that we got- also looks like he possibly could’ve been crying)
i am not super sure what the heck is going on there but i have a silly theory that my friend and i kind of came up with! we do not have strong evidence supporting it btw- this simply just based on what we have seen thus far and how the season has been playing out!
but since eddie will most likely be busy being by his abuela’s side- he would want someone to watch after chris for him. our best guess? buck, of course! it would also explain why he seems to be filming the same time as everyone else involved- and plus it could be the perfect opportunity to bring the ‘will of it all’ into play.
i could see two things going on with this; helena says something in a spur of a moment out burst along the lines of like, “you cannot keep leaving your son with a stranger” and eddie can say something like “he’s not a stranger, he’s family” and that can somehow lead into the will reveal! (because i do see helena being the problem here- people have pointed out many times now that ramon is the only one it seems to be putting in any effort into having a relationship with his son, where as it’s crickets from helena! also she was the first one to be defensive about shannon but anyway!)
OR!
and just a heads up: this is not me bashing tommy at all, i actually do enjoy his character and love what he has done / is doing for buck! this is simply speculation and also just a bit of fun!! no harm in silly theorizing!
i could see tommy perhaps noticing how often buck is watching after chris, and maybe he just brings up something about like, oh hey i thought eddie’s parents were in town… are they not able to watch after him? (in a nice way!! idk how the hell to word things but i do not think he would be a dick about it 😭 like he would just genuinely be asking!) and then somehow that conversation leads to the will and how eddie trusts buck more than anyone etc …
needless to say i just think there is. Something. There. and i have sooooo much hope in the will being brought up. based on how many times they brought it up in interviews, and sort of alluded to in the show as well (“you don’t seem to have trouble committing to certain things” you all know where your mind went!)
anyway that is all. thanks for reading this mess if ya did <3
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#diaz family#buddie#buddipher#idk guys there is just something sooo important#about the chris of it all#idk how to ! explain !#AAAA#911 on abc#911 spoilers#tagging as spoilers bc i did mention some of the bts content
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what meme book????
In 2017, @dizznee had the idea to compile a bunch of KOTLC tumblr memes into a book and, as shown above, give it to Shannon Messenger at the Nightfall launch party tour event.
A couple months later, she had made up the interior and I drew a silly cover on the binder.
It ended up looking like this inside! It had contributions from tons of people in the fandom. Also pictured (and censored for privacy and kindness to our 12-14 year old selves) are several of us from the tumblr fandom with Shannon after we gave it to her.
There also exists a 2018 meme book, and allegedly @dizznee has the link, or at least did a couple years ago? We shall wait and see.
Anyway, I was looking at the pics of Shannon’s new home office last week and noticed the 2017 meme book displayed on the shelf. So of course I had to freak out about it.
That’s it!
Now that I’ve brought up all the memories, a couple people have floated the idea of making another meme book, so if that ends up happening, I hope I’m kept in the loop.
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i think the entire 911 fandom situation is very interesting to witness because we've been saying this for years: buck and eddie girlies would have been at each other's throats all this time if their common ship hadn't united them. i think the current takes show incredibly well that the same people who hate bucktommy simply wanted eddie to have the queer storyline, with or without buck. i do understand that. people can have favorite characters and want them to have specific storylines. but now, from a narrative standpoint, bi eddie and buddie seem very unlikely to ever happen in canon. buck girlies get to enjoy canon bisexual buck kissing a man on screen and being in love while they cannot and probably will never get that for eddie. at least not with a man, and let's be real, that's all the hardcore antis seem to care about. i think now, given all that has happened in s7, we're finally seeing people's favoritism unveiled (not that it wasn't obvious the entire time) and there is less unity on where the story should go for buck and eddie. suddenly, i think for the first time ever, hardcore buddie shippers are truly forced to actually view buck and eddie as individuals that live alongside each other as besties while having their own separate lives. it's funny to me that antis act as if people have "abandoned" eddie. he is getting heavy focus in s7? he is still a main character? shouldn't people be happy that his character is further explored and his trauma is hopefully finally worked on? i feel like i appreciate canon eddie more than many eddie girlies do just because many eddie girlies seem to enjoy a highly fanonized version of him only. and that fanon version is being shattered, due to bucktommy and now with eddie being confirmed to still love shannon, the love of his life. it's good for the 911 ecosystem. i hope this adjustment period will end soon, and people will finally calm down about the buddie agenda.
I truly did not even think about Eddie vs. Buck being such a huge trigger for the drama, which I why I love these constructive discussions. And I agree that if not for their friendship/the discussion of Buddie it could have created a lot of tension (“Buck’s getting more screen time, they’re making Eddie look like the bad guy, it’s not fair this and that”). It’s one of the reasons I suspect that small radical group may end up imploding because if they’re not getting the attention they want from us they’re going to start fighting amongst themselves.
I agree that if not to Buddie the idea of Eddie being queer would have never come up but then again I’m not sure any girlfriend would have been good enough? It’s a double-edged sword. And I think the show has amazing queer representation and adding another character journey so similar to Buck’s would seem too repetitive and do a disservice to the others because it would feel like a trend.
I did a post a while ago with a bit of a rant about how Ryan seems so excited about his future character development (think he’s ready to portray some good angst) and it was automatically brought back to Buddie. How is journey is really about Buddie and how it goes back to that. And talk about a disservice. You’d think people would be THRILLED for Eddie to get his own individual storyline but alas no.
I haven’t always been an Eddie fan, I may be biased towards Buck but whether it was intentional or not, I always found him to be a bit selfish and his relationship with Buck a bit more one way or another. Which could be me totally misreading it but this sesson?! OMG I’ve fallen in love with him again. He’s so silly and playful, the basketball scene where he’s doing that little head bop makes me all sorts of 😍😍😍. I feel like it’s a true representation of who he js and that’s probably why all the Shannon drama is coming up, he’s going back to himself and that brings back a lot of repressed trauma. Ryan has done phenomenal and is vulnerability as a “macho” man is so needed to be seen nowadays.
I agree as with everything you’ve said, it’s time to focus on the characters as separate entities who will always gravitate back to each other. No matter how bad a fight Eddie and Buck have or will have, they have such a special (platonic) relationship that I adore. Thank you so much for your ask, it brings up so many good points and definitely offers hope that these sorts of mindsets will drive us to continue to push the positive and ignore the negative!
#911 show#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#platonic buddie#i’m not anti buddie#i’m anti bullying and bullshit#great insight#oliver stark#ryan guzman#with a side of tommy and shannon#i feel like they’d be all sorts of sass together#anon ask
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this is a silly little ficlet inspired by and written for @danielsousa my beloved <3
When Buck pulls up outside Eddie's house, he turns the engine off. He shouldn't. There's no reason to really. He's just dropping Eddie off. Only Eddie makes no move to get out of the Jeep for the thirty seconds they idle in the driveway. He just stares at his front door like its a particularly difficult math equation he has no intention of solving. So, Buck turns the engine off.
The sudden silence is almost suffocating, the tension between them pulled taut from their night of trash talk that had veered further towards flirting the longer the night went on - the more chips Buck lost to Eddie at the poker table.
When Eddie looks at him, something calculating and pleading in his eyes, Buck's chest tightens in anticipation of what's to come.
"I think," Eddie tilts his head, narrows his eyes slightly, "you should walk me to the door."
"Okay," Buck says softly, his heart making up for all the beats it had missed after the lightning strike. He unbuckles his seatbelt and reaches for the door, but Eddie's hand lands on his knee and aborts the movement into a twitch of fingers.
For a moment, they do nothing but stare down at the point of contact like its a disaster waiting to happen. Buck stares until he finds the courage to meet Eddie's eyes and finds him already looking back. He swallows thickly. Eddie retracts his hand. The absence of his touch burns like acid.
"I think I'm going to start dating again," Eddie murmurs into the darkness of the Jeep.
Buck doesn't remember what it felt like to fall off the top of the ladder, he doesn't remember the brief weightlessness or the snap of the slack line when he reached its end, he was already dead. But he thinks it must have felt something like this because his stomach floats for a beat before dropping like a hunk of lead.
"Oh, that's..." He inhales, holds, exhales. "Good for you, man."
Eddie's eyes flick over his face, desperate and searching, a little frantic about it. If Buck didn't know better, if he allowed himself to feel the heady intoxication of whatever it was they'd been doing all night, he'd think Eddie was begging him to object.
But then, he nods and climbs out of the Jeep.
It takes Buck a moment to remember he's supposed to walk him to the door. He staggers out onto the driveway on unsteady legs, the gravel like slick metal rungs under his feet, and drifts effortlessly to Eddie's side. Their shoulders bump just like always and then they're moving towards the door, the fifteen familiar yards stretching into a mile hike.
Eddie unlocks the door with careful movements, but he pauses halfway to the handle. He turns, takes a step towards Buck, stares.
Buck fights the urge to itch the fading scars on his shoulders, sparks of electricity tingling under his skin at the weight of Eddie's eyes on him.
"A-any ideas how you're gonna get back into dating?" Buck asks, just as desperate as Eddie's eyes had been.
"Not really," Eddie says evenly. "I know dating apps are a thing but..."
"Not your thing," Buck snorts. "I can just imagine you matching with a Hildy and throwing your phone at the wall."
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Flash." Eddie shakes his head with a chuckle, looks back at Buck from under his eyelashes. Buck's breath catches deep in his chest. "I meant more because dating apps are like for hook-ups, right?"
"Some, not all," Buck says simply because he had not once considered their night would end like this, with Buck explaining the intricacies of modern dating to his... To Eddie.
"Its just difficult, you know?" Eddie sighs, falls back against the wall next to the door. "Attraction's always been difficult for me."
"Yeah?" Buck raises an eyebrow, half curiousity, half surprise.
"Its like..." He sighs, deep and heavy. "I don't know. With Shannon, we were friends first and then I started noticing her as more than that. And Ana was... Well," he grimaces, "I'm not entirely sure I was ever attracted to her." Eddie's eyes light up with something thoughtful. "I'm pretty sure the only person I've ever known I was attracted to is..." Eddie snaps his mouth shut suddenly, his gaze drifting over Buck's shoulder.
Buck nods. He doesn't know what it means.
There have been a hundred moments tonight, a hundred moments imbued with something intentional, a hundred moments that felt like the edge of something. This moment feels like the tip of the blade they're both balancing on.
"Sex complicates everything," Buck breathes, an echo of a long ago moment when the worst thing they'd been through together was the hour-long line at Santa's grotto filled with handsy moms and snotty children.
"Yeah," Eddie murmurs, eyes dropping to Buck's lips, just for a second. "Yeah, I guess it does." He stares once again, with those dark, desperate eyes. And then, "night, Buck."
Eddie slips through the front door, and the click of the lock has Buck losing his footing on the knife edge he's been abandoned on.
He should move, should climb into his Jeep and drive back to his loft. He should drink a glass of water, wash the night off him and get some rest. He should, should, should. But he's so fucking tired of doing what he thinks he should. For once, for once, he wants to do what he fucking wants.
And right now there's only one thing he wants.
Buck takes one step, two, three. He raises his fist to knock on the door just as it swings open.
And, stood there like every one of Buck's dreams come true, is a wild and warm-eyed Eddie.
They stare, Eddie glances down at Buck's lips, and they reach for each other as synchronised as they are in everything else. They collide, a tangle of lips and longing and teeth and desire and tongues and yearning, a culmination of a night of lingering looks and flighty touches, a crescendo to a five-year masterpiece of trust and intimacy.
Eddie pulls Buck into his home with hot, clinging hands. Buck follows, as he always does, like a moth to a flame.
Sex may complicate everything, but right then and there, there's nothing quite as simple as want.
#sami rambles#here is ur sex complicates everything callback elke muah <3#911 show#911 fox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#buck x eddie#911 fic#buddie fic#buck x eddie fic#buck x eddie fanfic#buddie fanfic#911 fanfic
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☀️ writing patterns ☀️
rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10+1 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!
because we'll all arrive in heaven alive
buddie | 51.4k and counting | Explicit
Thursday, day 5
Buck was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened, it was all so quick; the rain, the debris, the mudslide and then the moment of radio silence before the chaotic explosion of noise.
“We’re not giving up on him.” Bobby had said at the time, but after four days, it has become abundantly clear that instead of a search and rescue, most people have already started to treat this as a recovery mission; except they still haven’t recovered the person who mattered the most.
And When You Speak, Angels Sing From Above
buddie + Shannon centric | 2.8k | Gen
Eddie should’ve seen it coming; the fancy restaurant, the idle evening walk in the city and the arranged sleepover giving them all night to be alone. In his defense, he was blinded by how perfect it all seemed.
Right up to the moment they got home, tangled into each other, rolling along the walls of the hallway, kissing and giggling at the increasingly silly things that Buck kept saying — then, Buck was suddenly gone from his personal space, getting down on one knee in front of him instead, saying words that rang through Eddie’s ears, without their meaning managing to penetrate the walls of his brain.
It didn’t matter.
no harm, no foul
buddie | 4.9k | Mature
The last couple of days felt… Well, honestly, confusing would be the word Buck would use.
The one thing that became clear in the recent weeks, was that he and Eddie were done pretending that there wasn’t something going on between them. (Right after spending at least two months violently dismissing any notion of such an idea, while simultaneously wondering if the other was doing the same. God, they could be really stupid sometimes… Buck was honestly surprised they even made it this far like this.)
Unfortunately, that clarity still left something else much more blurry; their direction.
we’ve got something permanent (i mean in the way we care)
buddie | 7.1k | Explicit
In hindsight, Eddie should’ve seen it coming from a mile away, after the week they’ve had.
It started out by having two days off back to back — which Eddie had planned on using to lay about the house, maybe with some slow make out sessions peppered in, while Chris was at school.
Apparently, Buck had other ideas.
Keep My Heart Warm In Yours
buddie | 18.5k | Mature
The whole thing started with Youtube — as most things do when 12-year-olds are concerned.
Christopher shuffled into the living room with determination, where Eddie was trying to figure out the settings of his new smart TV and Buck was folding and flipping the instruction manual back and forth, trying to find the beginning of it when Chris shoved his phone under his nose.
Of Love, Hospital Jitters And Christmas Lights
buddie | 6.3k | Teen + Up
“MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!” Buck shouted frantically as he pushed past people and ran through the sliding doors leading to the ER.
A nurse ran up to him immediately, waving to people behind herself for help and Buck felt his fingers go numb with fear as he tried to focus on her face.
You Ring, I Drool
buddie | 8.6k | Explicit
Eddie had long realized the resemblance, but it started to become more and more evident lately — and much harder to ignore.
Simply put; Buck was like a dog. In more ways than one.
If This Is What The Season Is Bringing
buddie | 2k | Teen + Up
December 25th 2021
Buck went straight to the fridge after he kicked his door shut. He really needed a beer right about now.
Okay, so Eddie was leaving the 118. Fine.
Well, not fine, nowhere near fine actually.
Out Of Order, Still In Line
buddie | 6.2k | Explicit
Buck could barely believe that today was finally The Day.
After weeks of power outages, paperwork mix-ups, unauthorised appointments and last minute emergencies, Buck finally made it to the Clinic.
And now here he was.
I Was Betting On Forever (But Forever Comes And Goes)
buddie | 4k | Teen + Up
Eddie was startled awake by the forceful ring of his phone.
He reached over to the nightstand blindly with an annoyed huff and pulled the phone off of the charger. He held it above his face, the brightness of the screen making him squint as he read the caller ID.
Unknown Caller.
Coming On Ever So Strong / Coming Off Ever So Soft
buddie | 14.7k | Explicit
Today
Buck didn’t have the best track record when drunk.
That was probably the explanation why his head was pounding like someone was trying to break into his skull with a sledgehammer. And why there was someone pressed up to his side in his own bed.
☀️✨☀️✨☀️
oh I feel so exposed lmao all those pointed single sentence lines dropped in there, just to set the tone are definitely something I swear by... I also use timestamps a lot cuz I love to jump all over the place and then of course there's my dearest friend; in medias res.
I was tagged by the wonderful @jeeyuns @exhuastedpigeon and @wikiangela mwuahhh 💛 and I'm totally no pressure tagging @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @watchyourbuck and whoever else feels like giving this a go ✨
#it feels like I haven't done a tag game in ages#😭#my reading list has been waiting for me for weeks atp and I'm sweating blood to keep up with posting#but I miss pumping out all these fics for my boys 🫶#but alas I was on a mental health break and now I'm back in training and actively pursuing my career#so I doubt I'll be that productive again#but then again who knows what the new season will bring out of me lmao#buddie#911#tag games#my fic
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📩 Simblr question of the day: Who's your biggest inspiration/s on Simblr? Mention them! Tell us why you like them!
omg there are literally so many! for starters anyone that I follow is an immediate fav <3
@buttertrait - max and I are always bouncing ideas off each other for literally everything 😅 we talk about our ocs a ton and it always inspires me to add more and more lore to their stories! not to mention their sims are so so cute <3
@aurorangen - I started following rory really early on in this blog and her postcard legacy has inspired me SO much! we actually talked about this a while ago but her adding dialogue was what made me get brave enough to! I was super nervous about it being awkward at first and I still am sometimes but I think I'm better about it now 😭
@duusheen - same situation with rory! I started following du really early on and their legacy has been such a huge inspiration to me!! their pictures are always so gorgeous and she really makes me want to experiment more with mine!
@venriliz - her renders are phenomenal and I can only dream of someday being that talented with blender 😭 I've been really wanting to get back into making renders soon, there are so many ideas I've had forever but have been putting off and her renders are really making me want to get back into it
@thebramblewood - shannon's storytelling is just 👩🍳💋 her screenshots are always on point and always make me want to get better at taking my own!
@citrlet - shi's sims are so stinkin' cute and their gameplay posts are always edited SO cute 😭I go on and off with adding silly little edits to my posts but theirs definitely inspire me to add them more often to mine!
and again like I said, everyone that I follow inspires me daily, I obviously can't tag all of you so if I didn't here that does NOT mean you don't inspire me! I could never fit you all in one post but just know I love you 🫵
#simblr question of the day#asks#anon#this post makes me anxious#tagging people scares me#and I dont want people to think Ive forgotten about them I just simply can't tag everyone 😭
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i'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day
“Last night - when the clock struck midnight,” Buck began, taking a steadying breath. “Chimney teased that you and I were the only two in the room who didn’t have someone to kiss at midnight.”
Eddie barely held back an eye roll as he remembered Chim’s words. Their friend was hardly known for his subtlety. “Yeah, I remember.”
As they clean up from Eddie's New Year's Eve party, Buck and Eddie have a conversation about resolutions, honesty, and who they want to ring in the New Year with.
ao3 link
It was silly, really, Eddie knew, but he had always liked the idea behind the New Year. It’s not as though every year, he managed to wipe the slate clean, and start over as a newer, better, fitter version of himself - but there was something about the end of a year, and the beginning of another, the raucous way that one year came to its conclusion, seen out by fireworks and celebrations and champagne - for better, or worse - and the quiet way the new year slipped in to existence, the prospect of a brand new, completely untouched year stretching on for a delicious 365 days ahead.
It was silly, Eddie knew, but it was a silly indulgence he allowed himself. Despite liking the New Year, his New Year’s hadn’t always started well - he’d been deployed, for a fair few of them, counting down to a new year with his squadron as they tried to make the best of their situation. Other years, he was with Shannon - he remembers happy new years, back at the beginning of their relationship, but that hadn’t lasted long. No, most of their new year celebrations had been tainted with fights, and arguments, cold shoulders and a relationship that had never been built to last crumbling under pressure it was never going to be strong enough to stand up to.
Eddie had spent plenty of New Year’s Eve’s - and New Year’s Days - alone, Christopher in bed, and Eddie ringing in the new year by watching a rerun of the ball drop in New York, hoping, and wishing, and praying for a better year ahead - a year where he could provide a better life for his son, a year where he could be happier.
He was happier now.
Eddie could say that with a kind of confidence he couldn’t help but be proud of - happiness, as it turns out, had never been as clear cut as it had seemed when you were a child and happiness felt like it was directly associated with sunny days and ice-cream after dinner. No, no - happiness as an adult was infinitely more complicated, and Eddie had struggled to be really, truly happy, but he was getting there.
How could he not be getting there? Eddie had - well, he had the best kid in the world, and a job he loved, and he had done a whole lot of work this year on himself, accepting who he was - who he loved - and Eddie was leaving 2022 a happier man.
And he hadn’t spent this New Year’s Eve alone, either.
Eddie had never really had partying days - and really, he didn’t regret that, Eddie hated nightclubs and only really liked the quiet, hipster bars that Buck tended to find them, that served all sorts of IPAs and funky beers that had silly labels - but he’d hosted the 118 for a New Year’s Eve party last night. Nothing crazy, no - not when half the team had kids, and the other half were only stopping in before they headed out to a proper Hollywood party (“Don’t worry, Ravi,” Eddie shook his head, giving the younger man a soft smile: he didn’t know what it was like to be that kind of twenty-five year old, but he remembered what it was like to be a twenty-five year old with the weight of his world on his shoulders and he didn’t want Ravi to be that way) but a party all the same.
A party he was going to spend January 1st cleaning up from.
Eddie didn’t mind, really - a few streamers, and beer bottles, and leftover snacks, were a small price to pay for an evening with the family he had made for himself.
“Morning.”
Buck’s raspy, slightly hoarse voice drew Eddie’s attention to the kitchen doorway. He was wearing a borrowed hoodie, the arms slightly too short, and somehow, he had glitter in his hair, the blond curls messy after a night of tossing and turning on Eddie’s couch.
It was cute.
read the rest on ao3
#911 fox#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#911 fic#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic#the prayer circle worked i wrote a fic so here's some absolutely rotten fluff for new years day#hope ur 2023 is a banger
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Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday
Tagged by @messyhairdiaz @prettyboybuckley @monsterrae1 @rewritetheending @spotsandsocks @putijeansdiaz-ronordmann @eddiediass @jobairdxx @cowboy-buddie @bekkachaos
Thank you so much, I adore every one of you! Muah 💖
(I've given up on ever actually just sticking to seven sentences for this 😂)
Here's a little scene I whipped up today from the very smutty and heartbreaking fic I and the beloved @elvensorceress are working on
For context: this scene occurs after Buck’s leg gets crushed by the ladder truck. Eddie is in the hospital waiting room while he's in surgery.
Eddie opens his mouth and speaks past the unbearable pressure in his throat. “Shannon, how did–what are you doing here?”
She collapses into the chair beside him and brushes the wild, frizzy edges of her hair out of her face. “I saw the explosion on the news. God, Eddie, I’ve been so worried.” She places one hand on his shoulder and the other on his face, rubbing her thumb across his cheek.
Eddie wants to fall into her lap and sob. He wants to tell her not to touch him. He wants to tell her that he doesn’t deserve these comforting caresses. He wants to shake and scream. He wants to shrivel up and die like the cold muscle in his chest. She’s been worried about him and he hadn’t spared a thought for her, because he’s fucked up and selfish and something inside him is cracked and bleeding and wrong and he wants to rip it out of himself.
He wants Buck. He wants depthless eyes and shining smiles and a splotch of pink and endless rants and wild, gesturing hands and a rumbling voice and silly jokes and a large, warm body cradling his own and a heart so big and beautiful whose beats compliment Eddie’s.
But he can’t have it, he can’t have it, he can’t have it.
Why can’t he have it?
He remains still beneath Shannon’s touch, simultaneously hating it and reveling in it. “I–it wasn’t me. I was in the ambulance. Buck is–” hurt screaming bleeding dying not with me not with me.
His eyes flutter closed and he turns his head into her palm, unable to stop himself from taking the comfort she so willingly gives even though he doesn’t deserve it.
“I know, Eddie,” she says softly, carefully guiding his face back up until he is looking at her. “I saw it was Buck crushed under the truck. And I–I’m so sorry. I got here as fast as I could. I know that–” she pauses and chews on her lip before continuing, “Is he okay?”
Eddie wants to ask what she knows. He should ask what she knows.
Have you put together how messed up and wrong I am? Have you seen the way my heart and soul lift when he is around? Have you seen and felt and tasted the stain of him on my body? Have you noticed how I can’t breathe right without him? Do you know that he is a galaxy, bursting and bright and colorful, and I am the dark expanse enveloping him? Do you know how much our son loves him? Do you know Chris loves him like he loves us? Do you have any idea of how much the both of us will be devastated beyond measure if we lose our Buck? Do you know I love him like I should have loved you?
Tagging @spaceprincessem @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @honestlydarkprincess @eddiesbleps @achillesbuck @singlethread @megsvstheworld @gayedmundodiaz @rose-buddie @rogerzsteven @comaboybuck @buddierights @buddiefication @buckleysbee @ebdaydreamer @swiftiebuckleys @usercowboy @ajunerose and anyone else who wants to share!
#buddie#buddie wip#fic: broke my own heart#eddie diaz#shannon diaz#evan buck buckley#ryan writes#seven sentence sunday
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Hold the fucking phone. This will need a lot more pondering and explanation, but Eddie has such a skewed idea of what a romantic relationship even looks like. This post helps explain why Eddie, let's be honest, doesn't really know what romantic love even looks or feels like (especially with a woman).
So I guess adding on to that with my original thought is just, as simply as I can put it, Eddie to varying degrees did not know and kinda refused to be emotionally vulnerable with any woman he's been with, even with Shannon. Instead, Eddie's seen sex equaling a romantic relationship (and romantic love). Like? Eddie denied having any kind of affair with Kim to Buck because they haven't had sex, thus there's no affair to be had.
...My dude.
Let's also acknowledge that the only real honesty Eddie ever shared with Kim was when he came clean to her about "Yeah I see my dead wife in you, I've been looking for her in you. No I haven't seen you as your own person." Before this Kim, during the cheesy row boat date, told Eddie that she sees he holds back because, in her words, he's afraid he's too much. Or something. Which means even Kim could tell Eddie wasn't giving or revealing much of himself at all.
What I'm trying to say is that I think Eddie equates sex to both a romantic relationship and romantic love. He doesn't factor in that being emotionally vulnerable is a key piece to having a healthy romantic relationship. And as I've said here and in the past, Eddie has always struggled to varying degrees and failed at being emotionally vulnerable and invested in the relationships he's had with women. It's all been a performance, and if there's sex involved? Well that's that. Good enough in Eddie's mind.
What Eddie doesn't see, or is in deep denial about, is the glaring fact that Eddie can and has been vulnerable and open with one person. Buck. Because Buck is Eddie's safe space. Eddie can be open and honest and silly and just himself with Buck. Which Eddie has never really allowed himself to do or be with anyone else, in great part because he thinks he's too much. But he's not, and he'll never be too much for Buck. Eddie has had more intimacy and genuine intimacy with Buck than with anyone else, and they've only ever hugged.
As well, I very much see Eddie as a repressed gay man, so of course Eddie hasn't been able to be or really want to be with a woman as he's told himself he should. I think the show is working on un-repressing this gay man. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, Eddie.
So like. Eddie, I'm begging, go back to therapy. Sex =/= love. Sex =/= a healthy relationship.
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Obikin College au - RA/Don! Obi-Wan/First Year! Anakin - Part Two
Okay guys, I already thought of more because I’m unhinged and insane and this has been on my brain all day 👹
Link to Part One
Link to Part Three
Whenever they party together, Anakin makes Obi-Wan go shot for shot with him. He wants to get him drunk because Obi-Wan is an affectionate cuddly drunk and Anakin wants those cuddles.
“Have I ever told you how good of a friend you are Anakin? I’m glad you spent your Friday’s bullying me in the lobby” Obi-Wan murmurs, arms around Anakin, nuzzling into his neck.
Anakin, playing with his hair. “Me too, Obi-Wan. Me too”
They all play drinking games together.
Never have I ever:
“Never have I ever done anything sexual in a public place.” Padmé offers and Obi-Wan takes a shot.
“OBI, YOU DOG!!!” Anakin shrieks. I’m not thinking about it, I’m not thinking about it.
“Never have I ever had a crush on somebody in the room.” Ahsoka glares challengingly at Anakin.
Anakin turns to the side and quickly does a shot. Thankfully Obi-Wan isn’t paying attention.
Truth or Dare:
“Anakin, Truth or Dare?”
“Truth.”
“What’s your ideal partner?” Curse his blasted friends, they knew what they were doing.
He basically describes Obi-Wan. Still oblivious, Obi-Wan doesn’t catch on.
“They sound like a dream!” Obi-Wan giggles and raises his cup as a toast.
“Oh, they are.” Anakin stares at him.
“Truth or Dare, Obi-Wan?”
“Dare.”
“Give the most attractive person in the room a kiss on the cheek.”
No hesitation, Obi-Wan plants a sloppy and drunken kiss to Anakin’s cheek.
Anakin flushes a deep red. I’m okay. I’m not screaming. Everything is normal. Nothing to see here. Don’t even worry. I’m not sweating. Are you sweating?
Spin the bottle:
Rex spins the bottle and it lands on Obi-Wan. Traitor! Traitor! Don’t even think about it!! Anakin’s mind screams.
But it’s part of the game, and so the two crawl forward to the centre of the circle and share a quick peck.
Anakin sits, pouting and glaring at Rex with his arms crossed over his chest. When the two pull away, Anakin makes eye contact with Rex and drags his index finger over his throat to mimic a beheading.
Padmé, watching Anakin nervously. “Okay, how about we play a different game?”
These events usually take place in Anakin’s room. Afterwards, Obi-Wan usually spends the night. The first time it happened, everyone had fallen asleep in his room, scattered in various positions on the floor while Obi-Wan and Anakin cozied up together on the bed.
After this, Anakin had a chat with his friends.
“Okay guys, next time we hang out, you have to leave at the end.”
“Why? You want to be alone with lover boy?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
So this becomes the norm. One by one, his friends filter out after their hangouts, leaving Obi-Wan and Anakin alone.
“I can leave too, y’know?”
“No! It’s okay! I don’t mind if you stay!” For the love of God, please don’t go, I want desperately for you to do the spooning thing, I need it, please.
“Okay.”
More texts are shared:
Anakin: what r u doing?
Obi-Wan: just finishing a class hbu?
Anakin: oooh fun, learn anything good?
Anakin: I’m just studying in the library rn.
He doesn’t get a text back right away and it puts him on edge - it makes him worry Obi-Wan is upset with him.
But no less than ten minutes later, Obi-Wan shows up at the library with a coffee just how Anakin likes it and a strawberry danish - his favourite. Anakin is amazed, seeing as he only mentioned this once in a passing conversation.
His group of friends often spend afternoons together, getting lunch after classes. Obi-Wan is invited and makes it when he can, but his schedule usually doesn’t align.
“When are you going to say something to him?”
“I don’t know guys, he doesn’t even like me. I’d rather keep going the way things are than face rejection. Ignorance is bliss and all that.”
They all stare at him dumbfounded.
“What??”
“Anakin, anyone with eyes can see that he likes you.”
“No he doesn’t! Stop!”
Okay, this is my update for now!! Again, I will update later!
Lemme know if you have any thoughts! Thank you for reading
#obikin#aniobi#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#obikin rp#star wars#padme amidala#obi wan and anakin#ahsoka tano#captain rex#modern au#obikin modern au#alternate universe#college au#uni au#shannons silly ideas#ewan mcgregor#hayden christensen#obi wan x anakin
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okay, so. fuck it friday? it’s still friday here shhh.
tagged by @alyxmastershipper @buddiearemydads @megsvstheworld @heartbeatdiaz @peachydiaz @rogerzsteven @spotsandsocks @fleurdebeton @hippolotamus @rewritetheending @capseycartwright 💕
not that it’s really friday anymore but if any of you want to share something and haven’t? @shortsighted-owl @wh0re-behavi0r @eddiescowboy @astronaut-karenwilson @911onabc @cowboy-buddie @rose-buddie @honestlydarkprincess @ronordmann @bigassdiaz @comfortbuddie @comaboybuck @littlespoonevan @littlebitofdiaz @bekkachaos @captain-hen @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy @jobairdxx 💕
I am currently working on making my Catching Lightning a post s6 fic so we can fix some nonsense and let the boys live happily ever after. SO. Have some fixed nonsense. Marisol ends it with Eddie.
Eddie’s supposed to feel something. Isn’t he? Something. Anything.
He was excited to try. He was excited to find someone he might connect with. And she’s great. She’s funny and kind and silly in a good way. It’s nice to have someone to spend time with the way they do. When Chris is busy and Buck is preoccupied, and— and Eddie has friends. He has other people not just them. He’s been spending a lot of time on the phone with his parents and Abuela. He even called and talked to his sisters the other day.
But it’s different. Dating someone. Being in a relationship.
Except Marisol is completely right. He hasn’t really done this.
How do you do this?
Uncomplicated is good. Low-key is really good. He needs something. He needs to not be alone. He needs it to work because— because Buck bought a couch. Buck has a girlfriend. Who isn’t a heartless, soul-sucking scumbag. Buck found someone and he’s happy.
This isn’t about Buck. That has no relevance here.
Maybe Eddie really doesn’t know what he wants. At least now, lifetimes after Shannon. How could he know? If he hasn’t looked? If can’t he feel anything?
There’s something dead in Eddie’s chest and he doesn’t know how to make it beat again. He doesn’t know how to bring it back. Something of him died with Shannon, but it wasn’t like this.
“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Marisol says. “We can still be friends? I do like you. Spending time with you. But I don’t think you’re ready for a serious relationship.”
He immediately has to argue, even if it’s without thinking, “What if I could be? We can try again. We can start over. I can— I don’t know. I can do it better this time. I’ll be more available. I can ask some friends to watch Chris and then I’ll have more time. For you. For this. We can do whatever you want.”
She bites her lip and gives him a sorrowful look. “It’s not going to work. I don’t want to make you feel badly. But we don’t fit. You talk about magical chemistry. You have this idea of beautiful, perfect romance. It’s very sweet. But no one can live up to that. Even the best relationships are a lot of work and effort. I’m not magic. I’m just me. I don’t want to be on a pedestal. I don’t want something that doesn’t feel real.”
What is he supposed to say? He knows the difference between real and fantasy. No relationship is going to be perfect or even halfway ideal. He knows that. He’s lived plenty of that. He’s not romanticizing this. He’s not.
Is he?
Has he been trying so hard to find something, to feel something, to make something work, that it turned into too much pressure?
They were having fun. Right? They had a moment when they met up again, didn’t they?
He can’t feel anything. He never does.
What is he supposed to feel? If not magic?
“Is this because we haven’t kissed? Because we haven’t— I don’t like. I’m not ready for that. It’s not you. Or this. I don’t— Being physically intimate is— it’s a lot. It’s a big thing. To me. I can’t just— I don’t want—”
“I know.” She reaches across the table and rests her hand lightly on top of his. “It’s not that. I don’t like to rush that either. I don’t feel that way about you. And I don’t think you really feel that way about me.”
Then. He doesn’t know anything else he can say.
It’s over. It wasn’t really a thing. And now he’s back at the starting line.
Her hand leaves his and she playfully kicks him under the table instead. “Look at it this way. We tried. It was fun. No hard feelings. And you can go try again. Remember what you liked, think about what didn’t work, separate the good from the bad, what’s realistic and achievable from what’s too much of a dreamy fantasy, and then next time, you have a better idea of what you’re looking for.”
Yeah. Sure. Make it a lesson learned and try again. And again. And again. Until he dies alone.
“Play the field a little. See what you can find. See what fits and makes you happy. Have some fun.” She gets up from the table and takes her coffee, but touches his shoulder before she walks away, “You deserve to find someone who gives you butterflies and sweaty palms but who you would want to do taxes with. You want chemistry and magic, but people also have to be mundane. Someone who can make you fly and also keep you grounded. You should have someone who makes your heart light up. Not someone you think should make you feel that way because it’s pretty and romantic. Someone who actually makes you feel that way even when it’s ugly and ordinary.”
Meaning. He needs to find someone who makes him feel something. Even when it’s not a fantasy.
How can he feel anything?
He’s supposed to. He’s been trying to. God, has he been trying to. How can he process anything when he can’t feel it? How can he deal when everything is cut off and broken. Deceased. Shocked into cardiac arrest.
What if he doesn’t have the parts to jumpstart or rebuild, rewire, repair? How can you light up something that’s burnt out?
He’s grieved Shannon. For years. It feels like that’s in a better place. He can talk about her. He can remember her without hurting.
He’s not sure that’s why his heart died.
His heart died. It stopped. One hundred and ninety-seven seconds. It was gone. He was gone. He was dead.
One hundred and ninety-seven seconds.
Three minutes and seventeen seconds.
Too long for such a small amount of time. Too long for what it was. Too long to be without.
So, it ends with Marisol. And the clock starts ticking, ticking, ticking all over again. He’s always late, always falling behind, always running out of time.
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I’ve rewatched the scene with Bobby talking to Eddie so many times because it really reads like Bobby has some idea that what Eddie’s actually unknowingly struggling with is something in regards to his sexuality, and everything he talks about are things I had begun coming to terms with in the last two weeks as I’ve questioned my own sexuality so this conversation was really personal to me because hearing Bobby lay that out for Eddie immediately resolved my own crisis and now I’m certain I’m not bi- I’m gay (and demi). Which is a huge thing for me to realize because I’ve identified as bi ever since I started dating 8 years ago. But Eddie’s struggle and confusion makes all the sense in the world to me because I had/have the same questions as him and struggled to reconcile the clear feelings and care I had for women/femme presenting people I’ve dated, but I always felt like I was playing a part (“performing” as Eddie called it) and while I knew the lines and cues and it was easy to do, something was always missing. I felt like I was doing something ‘right’ and there was a sense of relief in that, something adjacent to happiness, but it always came up short. I would love talking with and hanging out with these partners and had been good friends prior to dating, but driving home I would wonder why I didn’t feel giddy or whole. Why I could never initiate physical contact. Why I could only objectively acknowledge that they looked beautiful, but that never translated to attraction. Why I couldn’t imagine futures together. But I liked these people. I cared about them. It was confusing. And after each inevitable break up I questioned if I just wasn’t meant for relationships.
But when Bobby validated those feelings and pointed out that Eddie doesn’t have commitment issues in general, it only seems to apply to women in his life, I thought about my relationships with men. My two longest relationships lasted 6 months and 3 years respectively, and they were with other men. My last crush was on a man. Flirting with men comes easier, I feel more loose and giddy in a surprisingly enjoyable way, I become more charismatic and at ease, I can show physical affection and compliment, and when I think about the future- road trips and grocery runs, school pick ups and drop offs, falling asleep on the couch or in the passenger seat- I see that with another man.
I think of me, and I think of Eddie. He and Shannon were friends as children and were close for years before they started dating, but only got married because she was pregnant and there was strong religious influence and social factors pressuring them. He cared about her though, he liked her, just as he cared about and liked Ana and Marisol. Those base feelings are valid, but the extent to which they manifest is dissonant for him. The idea of these relationships never matches up to the reality. It’s a performance and it’s a role he’s uncomfortable playing but has gotten used to because he didn’t know how to question it and he’s already learned the lines and blocking. He expresses he prefers being single because he can just hang out with guys because it’s less complicated, but he’s not at the point of questioning the source of that ease. He can’t commit to his girlfriend moving into his house, but he can commit to making Buck the guardian of his son in his will. He forges infinitely stronger bonds with the men in his life and we see a side of him that’s less conflicted, more at ease, more honest and silly, and freer than any time he’s with a woman.
Eddie Diaz made me realize I’m gay, so yeah, I’m pretty certain he is too.
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13!!
Hi!!
13. Worst part of fanon
I'm not sure if you're wanting like which thing in fanon I hate the most in particular or what I dislike least about fanon but I'll give you both!
I really hate the fanon idea that Eddie never loved Shannon (mostly because it fits their agenda of Eddie being gay). Cause you can see it in so many parts of s2 that he really did love her, and later on in s6 when him and Chris visit her grave. Regardless of Eddie's sexuality, Shannon was his wife and the mother of his child and I wholeheartedly believe that he loved her and was absolutely devastated by her death.
Something I dislike about fanon in general is when people have differing opinions to you, that they're immediately wrong and it creates so much animosity in a group of people that literally are here solely to enjoy a TV show. We've all had different experiences of watching this show. You might think this thing, I might think that's silly but that's on you to think that. Generally if I see an opinion I don't like, I'll mute or scroll past, rather than kick up a fuss in the comments. Saves everyone a lot of pain and trouble.
9-1-1 Ask Game - Ask me things about our favourite show!!
#james answers things#thanks for the ask!#also if you don't think Eddie loved shannon..... move along#9-1-1 ask game#ask game
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G & Shannon's Dark Noon (Edward's POV New Moon) cover ideas: silly edition
Three Books One Plot is a Twilight podcast with a twist: we simultaneously read Life and Death and Midnight Sun! This season: watch us boldly go where Stephenie Meyer feared to tread as we continue Life and Death and Midnight Sun into the New Moon era. More info here.
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