"Perhaps they were right putting love into books. Perhaps it could not live anywhere else."

― William Faulkner

The Fault In Faith First Thinking // Cameron Beck.

Please know that I tried to hang on to the days when you were mine.

I know, everyone and their mom is tired of seeing this from me, but I'm seconds away from a total mental breakdown about this at any given moment.

I took all of my money, all of the cash we had in the rainy day jar, and even pulled the < $1 I had from my savings account to pay the second half of rent for the month. After that, I am at -$575.

Because my employer is only giving me $25 a week during my medical leave (< $10 after tax), and I have no idea when I'm going to actually get money from the state. I have another job I'm pursuing (just praying I get called back for the working interview or at least an answer this week), but I won't get paid from that until I actually get the job and, you know, actually start working.

I just want to have positive money at the end of the month, so that rent will actually take out of my account again. It's going to put me back in the toilet after that, but I just want to know we'll be able to keep our apartment in May, you know?

I can't even keep Dashing because my car has no gas in it. I'm not getting Etsy orders. I'm stuck at home while Kit is at work and I hate that I can't do anything to help right now. Any little amount will be helpful, or even a reblog if you can't give anything right now.

paypal venmo: amwallace95 etsy

so far: 195/600

I've felt a hole like this never before and ever since.

i don't need to explain myself you all know what i'm talkin about

did i get giddy when dean mentioned jennifer love hewitt in the episode of supernatural that im watching?? yeah yeah i did what of it

several sentences sunday

tagged by @tizniz @thekristen999 @sibylsleaves

thanks darlins!

ive not been doing great these past few weeks and have made zero progress on my calls fic but here's a little snippet i don't think ive shared before

Buck would help, Eddie knows that. He’d come running if Eddie asked, would barrel through the door with his long limbs and eager, overactive heart and slot himself along Eddie’s side on the couch and talk and talk and talk and distract Eddie and make him laugh and hold his shaky hand in a way that doesn’t feel placating or too much.

Buck is always like that, willing to help in whatever way he can, practically begging to give away pieces of himself for others to use in any way they need it, and he has been even more Buck since Eddie forgave him, since he learned the truth of what Eddie was doing, since Christopher launched himself into Buck’s arms the first time they saw each other last week when they had dinner at Buck’s, an image that is imprinted on the back of Eddie’s eyelids, glowing and bursting and brightening with every blink, flashing in front of his vision and overtaking everything else.

tagging @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @shitouttabuck @canonbibuck @messyhairdiaz @transboybuckley @rewritetheending @spotsandsocks @devirnis @bvckandeddie @sunshinediaz @jeeyuns @spagheddiediaz @traumabuddies @try-set-me-on-fire @rogerzsteven @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @saybiwithme @lemonzestywrites and anyone else who wants to share!

Returning home

The thing about Buck is that everyone wants a piece but nobody wants all of him, and the thing about Eddie is that he has a hard time wanting something with all of himself but that’s how much he wants Buck, and the thing about Buck is that he never knows what he wants or makes his own choices but he always chooses Eddie, and the thing about Eddie is that he only makes choices that are for the benefit of other people except he chose Buck for himself

this happens once every few lifetimes...

You like my blog?? I bet you can’t even name 3 of my deep-rooted personal issues

obsessed where stories where it is like. the mistakes are unfixable and the worst thing that could happen happened and nothing can go back to how it was. but there was still love in this and love will continue after this and love endures always.

hey so like

hi, you. yeah im talking to you. You like my stuff from time to time and reblog once and a while, and I always recognize you in my notes. we’ve never talked, maybe you dont like to say much or you’re nervous or something. it’s okay, whatever it is. 

I see you. you mean a lot to me. sometimes when I’m having a hard day, I’ll notice your name once again in my notifs and it makes me smile. im not kidding.

I don’t care if you’re a “ghost” follower or you send me asks all the time. i see you and I love you so much, genuinely and truly. you are really important to me. 

thank you. thank you for being there. <3

marisol being a nun and the catholic guilt he still doesn’t know how to let go off and eddie with his arms open fucking crucifixion style as people remove the layers he lets people see. strip him bare until he’s just skin, drunk and loose and happy, letting buck drape himself all over him. carefree. liberated. thinking about it.

daniel arthur