After March Break, my second period class is set to analyse the truman show. In a word: No. I will not watch this film. It will probably haunt me for months. I'm incredibly easy to scare, and I will not risk my mental health to analyse this dystopian trash. I'm sorry, but I simply can't do it. I can't. I will not risk it. And my teacher in that class is really nice, and I get that she wants me to try, but I can't do it. I simply can't. Maybe it's cowardly, but I already knew I'm pretty cowardly. Well, unless my morbid curiosity overtakes my cowardice. But that's a story for a different time.

Towards the end of a school year is the absolutely worst, so many exams and tests, kids are bored so there trying to make unnecessary drama and are acting up and the teachers are just out of it

We’re all tired and honestly only a few more weeks to go, y’all have got this (also good luck to all of y’all who have the big year 11/12 tests <3

Perfect meanings

When I fail assignments in English,

I wonder if I just can’t get it

What my teacher wants me to get

I see the words in a different color than her,

They’re more than black and white

The text is orange and red to me

My themes I can draw from them

They’re so different

They’re so wrong, according to her

I wish I could think like her

So that my paper would have an A

I wish I could live like her,

So that I am exactly what she wants

But I’m not

I’m not normal.

Homework is evil. "Good for your memory" you know whats good for my memory? Not being stressed about school

I AM GENUINELY SO BORED AND NEED TO SPEW RANDOM SHIT SO UHHH,, 1. I'VE MADE A BIT MORE PROGRESS ON THE ROGERSPORT FIC!!! 2. SCHOOL SUCKS CAUSE IM EXPECTED TO KEEP STRAIGHT A'S (MY FATHER </3) AND I HAVE A C,, UH,, OTHER THAN THAT STUFF,, TODAY COULD'VE BEEN WORSE AND IT WASN'T SO IM KINDA GLAD!!! :D

There's something scary about repression.

The fact that somethings that once hurt, no longer exist in your memory, because you try to push them down.

The fact that you have to talk to yourself and bring yourself out of the deepest confines of the jail of self pity that you'd put yourself in.

It's scary...

Because right now I'm in the middle of a big problem and I'm torn between crying, laughing maniacally and snapping at someone, while simultaneously telling myself to calm down, doing breath exercises to stave off the panic attack and acting nonchalant.

I don't want to have the victim mentality but at the same time I want to be listened to and not heard.

And the things I'm telling myself are in no way nice,

They sound like" you ain't the only one with problems here, man up and fucking read your book"

"your problems will disappear once you fail, you'd better read hard and pass or you'll be depressed"

And I try to convince myself that these are actually good things and that they are nice and helpful.

But I'm scared of who I'm becoming

I think I'm losing myself

I'm trying to be stronger, because being fragile only attracted manipulative people and now I fear being strong will cost me myself, my humanity, my true essence, my peculiar flavor.

I'm scared.

And I'm on the run from myself but who wins a race against themselves??

School issues and fathers

How the heck does my dad take things so philosophically? I've spent the last few hours in despair because I risk having debts in two subjects (and having to repeat the school year), I go to him disconsolate, and instead of saddening me even more he gives me a speech on how the important thing is to commit and it's not worth living in distress and it is better to be calm. I love my father.

Me and Mouse Fitzgerald in The Pandemic be like😷

Storytime

One Day I had an announcement at my school that we aren’t required to where masks in school classrooms anymore. So I went to my next class holding a mask to my face so that I wouldn’t get caught in the hallway not wearing a mask. (Even though I almost did😅)

What the actual fuck is happening in my school.

Cameras in restroom that can reach inside the cabins ._.

HELLO!

Hey there! It’s me Trixy, I’m sorry for not being active lately on Tumblr, but it’s just school holding me up, soon as I get on summer break, I’ll be more active! Hope I get more motivation.

I'm heading to school again in a bit. I'm still a bit nervous, because period 1 was odd yesterday. Instead of constantly correcting me, the teacher just gave me the cold shoulder. I preferred that, but it was still really weird. And since he's so unpredictable, I'm nervous again for today.

I also find it so weird that my period 2 class (which involves lots of discussions) is still more tolerable than my period 1 class. I'm super shy and antisocial, but the discussion based class is still easier. But I think the discussion class is easier just because of the teacher. I know her a bit, but she's been very accommodating. Moreso than my Period 1 teacher, honestly. So she's helped make this discussion based class tolerable for me and my very antisocial nature.

HELP!

So there is this really toxic girl and she has like 17 exes and she never really cared about any of them like she once dated a girl for an hour of the attention before deciding she liked one of my guy friends. Now a little backs story but my guy friend let’s call him Luke he has a friend called James and James and the toxic girl were dating on off for a few months now but Luke always really liked the toxic girl let’s call her Vicky so Vicky broke up with James got with a girl for the attention and broke up with her and got with Luke. Now luke is really excited because he is really unconfident and is really self conscious about his hight and has never had a girlfriend before. So they have only been dating for a week in secret (because she doesn’t want anyone to know there dating, weird but ok I guess) but Vicky starts telling Luke she wants to get back with James but James has already moved on and realised how toxic Vicky is (James now likes a different way nicer and utterly amazing friend of mine) so Vicky starts saying she should never have left James even though they were in a toxic relationship were Vicky just put James down and Vicky is saying this to Luke. Luke’s already really low self esteem got even lower and now he is suffering unsure if he should break up with Vicky and believes that James is mad at him for getting with his ex and Luke is now went from a happy boy with a few insecurities to a really depressed boy who believes that the toxic girl he truly loved hates him. Luke is in a very bad state of mind right now. Now this is a lot to process as a friend of everyone here (except the toxic girl I’m not friends with her) I was wondering how I could support Luke and what the best action would be if Luke should break up with the toxic girl or not? Also what about James how do I help him like what if he is truly mad at Luke for dating his ex? How do I help deescalate the situation? Also how do I help Luke and James?

any opinion is welcome as it would really help me (and Luke and James)

This is random but... I just did a workout (mainly arms) but I HAVE TO DO MATHS HOMEWORK ON PAPER, MY ARMS ARE GONNA FALL OFF. AND DON'T FORGET, I HAVE TO RUN FOR PE TOMORROW, AND AS PEOPLE SAY, you'll feel the pain the next day, I DIDN'T USE MY BRAIN HELPPPP

School

sit tight and do your work

quietly without so little as a smirk 

say you're fine when you're not 

stay there even if your stomachs in a knot

don't lose your temper unless you want it to be your fault 

if you fight back it's an assault 

if you're cornered scream for help

even though you know they won't hear you even if you yelp

teachers don't make mistakes 

now you talked back so put on the breaks

if you're having a mental crisis see the counselor 

but make an appointment so they don't see you as you were 

the nurse has ice and a band-aid 

nothing more because of the amount that they're paid 

summer gets shorter and shorter 

all while the school days get longer 

you must be someone who conforms

uncomfortable uniforms 

girls get dress coded more than boys

all they can think about is why the male teacher just stares like they're the teachers toys

lose your mind

you will always be behind 

you think you did good till the kids with rich parents get bye without any stress 

my minds such a mess

Does anyone else feel this way.

working in groups sucks half the time let me crawl into my hole and do it myself