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#sarcastic x sarcastic
regonold · 5 months
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Danny is travelling around solving unsolved murders and it is infuriating the local heroes cus each of them have went through training from either batman or a batman approved trainer and nothing about the way he says he solved the cases add up but the killer confesses and how the fuck did he solve them
Notable ways he has solved cases include the blood "told" him he heard the knife drop he sensed the killers "vibe" he followed the footsteps of the spirits he asked the victim he smelled the killers scent and the killer stabed him and he "recognised his handie work"
Danny meanwhile is just doing a cross country trip and helping ghosts rest and families find peace by talking to ghosts and giving that info to the police
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hiraya-rawr · 1 year
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Alhaitham having a fiancé/e but no one believing him until the very last minute. . .
It should have been obvious to everyone, really. It's not like he tries to hide it. He never works overtime and his weekends are always busy. He's honest about it too! The only problem is. . . everyone just assumes it's his sarcasm.
"Your excuse to call me on a weekend better be valid." Alhaitham crosses his arms, eyes throwing daggers at the committee group who begged to meet him for an urgent consultation.
"Acting Grand Sage! What could be more urgent than pursuing knowledge?"
"Spending a nice weekend with the love of my life, perhaps." He rolls his eyes.
"Oh please, now let's continue with the meeting."
~
"I never knew Alhaitham is so partial to buying trendy desserts."
"Obviously, it's for my darling spouse."
"Haha very funny."
~
"What do you mean you're leaving before we start filing these works?"
"A little birdie wants me home before dinner."
"Ugh. You could just say you didn't want to help."
~
Yes, it's his sarcasm but it's also the truth. People just seem to scoff at the idea, maybe even laugh, because who could stand to be with such a blunt and sassy guy? You, apparently.
"Acting Grand Sage. . . what is this?"
"A wedding invite."
"Yes but. . . why does it have your name on it?"
"Obviously because I'm getting married."
Someone chokes on air. Married? Him? Alhaitham the crude??
"Since when??"
"Since always? I mentioned it last week that I was planning it."
"I thought you only said that to skip overtime!"
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bornfreakdraws · 19 days
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If you could draw Gojo doing his crazy finger magic OR him flirting with Nanami that would be epic thank you 🙏
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this counts as finger magic right?
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luxthestrange · 2 months
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BNHA Incorrect quotes#5 Not Paid enough-
Forget Flowershop au or Tattoo Artist au- I want a Sarcastic KFC Full-time worker y/n who just wants to go home with a bucket of chicken and sleep till noon...and hawks who has a deep crush on this worker-
Hawks: So, when are you finally gonna go out with me?~
KFC!Y/n*Who stayed late watching FRIENDS and decided to humor the #2Hero* I dunno, when are you finally gonna ask me out?~
Hawks: …
On top of a Roof Hawks hiding in his wings with Tokoyami and Darkshadow looking at him
Tokoyami & Darkshadow: And you just ran away?!
Hawks*Crying as he bites into the chicken wing*I didn’t think they actually flirt back!
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Saying “Aye, Aye Captain” to Price just to see him look like this
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Guilty as Sin?
James Potter x f!reader (mentioned), Remus Lupin x f!reader
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warnings: smut, protected p in v, lots of descriptions of what ifs (you’ll understand with the song), underage smoking, if you squint it may just be cheating but oh well, this is so good to me
summary: someone once told you, there’s no such thing as bad thoughts… right?
word count: 3k
a/n: i’m in love with this song from taylor’s new album!!! sorry if this characterization isn’t what you like but this concept has been eating me alive. i love remus tho. might be a part two if you guys want !!!
part two is here!!
~~~
Drowning in the Blue Nile
He sent me “Downtown Lights”
I hadn’t heard it in a while
~~~
“Oi y/n!”
You turned on your heels at the sound of your name being called. Down the hallway, you could see James Potter striding toward you. Despite the bodies of other students that filled the hall, you could see he was holding something in his hand. It looked big, and as he came closer and closer you could see more and more of what it was.
“Hello James, something I can help you with?” You asked once he was close enough to hear your normal tone. You looked down at his hands, you could see what he was holding clearly, it was a record. And from the cover of it, it looked to be a muggle one. “What’s that?”
James smiled his intoxicating smile and held the record up. “Something for you.”
You gasped and one of your hands moved up to cover your mouth. In his hands, he held the latest album of your favorite singer, Heroes by David Bowie. It had come out in October, and every time you searched for it, it was sold out. You traced your eyes over the beautiful shining black and white cover, you were practically speechless.
“How did you- when did you- James...”
“I have my ways, don’t worry about it,” the black-haired boy replied with a small laugh.
“It’s not close enough to be a Christmas gift, and you know my birthday isn’t till spring,” you observed out loud. Your eyes met his again and you blinked. “So, what’s this for?”
He shrugged. “For the past few weeks, I haven’t been the only one to take notice of how much you’ve been playing Bowie in the common room. And I heard you talking to Moony about how you haven’t got the new album yet... so here it is.”
He held it out to you and with delicate hands, you accepted the gift, still amazed. “James, you didn’t have to.”
“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m surprised Moony didn’t already get it for you.”
“Yeah...” You looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes again, and you smiled. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
“Play it tonight, put it to use. Anyway, I’ve got to run, I’m supposed to be helping Peter with his Charms homework. See you at dinner.”
He gave you another smile before turning and walking back the way he came. You were too preoccupied with the flawless record in your hands to say goodbye. For a split second, you felt your heart flutter with a feeling you knew you shouldn’t have felt. So, you pushed it away and restarted your walk to the dungeons.
You knew better than to let those thoughts linger in the open hallway.
~~~
My boredom’s bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
~~~
“James got that for you?”
You had just put the record on, and the sound of David Bowie's voice began to fill the Gryffindor common room. Your cheeks almost hurt from how much you’d been smiling. On one of the couches, your boyfriend Remus sat, his typical book in his lap. You turned and flung yourself on the open spot next to him, nodding your head to the beat of the song.
“Yeah, he gave it to me earlier, isn’t it wonderful?”
Remus nodded; his eyes locked on his book. “It’s definitely something.”
You rolled your eyes. “You like Bowie too last I checked.”
“You play him so much I’m surprised not everyone likes him,” Remus replied. Suddenly he shut his book and turned his head to look at you. For a split second, you felt hope that he was going to just listen with you. But of course, that wasn’t the case. Instead, he rose from the couch. “I can’t concentrate with it playing, I’m going to go read in my dorm.”
“But we barely spend any time together Rem, unless it’s a shag,” you protested, anger suddenly taking you over. “When’s the last time we went on a proper date? Or anything at all? I’m so bored of this.”
Remus as usual, kept his composer and showed no sign of any emotion. “If you’re so bored you’re welcome to leave me.”
“You know that’s not what I want,” you said.
“Then I’m not sure what to tell you. You’re welcome to join me, you know where to find me.”
He left before you could say anything else.
You ran your hands over your face in frustration. How did your relationship come to this? You started dating Remus in fifth year, and it had been the happiest moment of your life. He was your first love, the boy you shared almost all of your firsts with actually. You loved him more than anyone, yet it never seemed to be enough. So, you began to give up.
After all, it was your last year at Hogwarts, after it ended, you’d never have to see him again. Because really, was so much pain worth a moment of happiness? You didn’t believe so anymore.
Instead of following him up to his dorm as you would have the year prior, you simply laid back on the couch and enjoyed the first listen of the album.
~~~
I dream of cracking locks
Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashing into him tonight, he’s a paradox
I’m seeing visions, am I bad?
Or mad? Or wise?
~~~
The first time you ever thought of James in the way you knew you shouldn’t be was about a year into your relationship with Remus. After he had begun his distant behavior, his cold manners, and all those awful things. Previously, you had only ever felt attracted to the one Marauder. You saw Peter as a sweet little brother, you saw Sirius as an older annoying brother, and you saw James as well, a friend. That was until one late December night.
You and Remus had one of your arguments and you went outside for a smoke to help with your anxiety. For a few minutes, you sat in silence, the cold air and smoke in your lungs a great distraction from the boiling fears that consumed your mind. You were afraid to lose Remus. More than afraid. So, you inhaled a deep puff of the cigarette to focus on something else.
“You’ll catch a cold out here you know.”
You jumped at the sudden sound of a voice. James sat next to you, and you were perplexed at how he managed to sneak into the spot so quietly. You were also confused as to why he was there in the first place.
“If that’s the case then why are you out here?” You questioned as you let out a cloud of smoke.
He held up his hand and you passed it to him. “I had a... date anyway Filtch was in the corridor, so I ran out here. I doubt he followed, he and Mrs. Norris hate this time of year.” He inhaled a deep breath and passed the cigarette back to you. “Why are you out here?”
“A date? Is that what they call a shag now?” You laughed for a few seconds before your frown resurfaced. “Remus and I had a disagreement. We both said some nasty things, I needed to clear my head.”
“Ah, lovers quarrel. Are you all right? Remus can say some pretty nasty things when he’s mad,” James said as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.
You stared at him in silence for a moment. Never before had you realized how attractive he really was. Sirius was known to be the most attractive of the Marauders, but his crude personality, at least in your opinion, always outshined his natural features. James, however, since the start of sixth year, had matured. That meant he was no longer solely physically attractive; he also had an attractive personality. He was funny, caring, outgoing, and a leader. And of course, he was six feet tall with curly black hair and a perfect smile. Who wouldn’t be attracted to that?
You swallowed away the tingly feeling that shot through your fingers as you passed him the cigarette again.
He’s your boyfriend's best mate, stop thinking like that. You thought to yourself.
But as you watched him exhale another breath of smoke you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about how his perfect lips would feel against yours.
“I’m sure you two will make up by the end of the night, he really loves you,” he spoke. His eyes caught yours, you could see the small smirk on his all too good-looking lips. “Who wouldn’t fancy a girl like you anyway?”
“A lot of guys actually,” you responded.
His hazel eyes were practically glowing. “They’re blokes. Have you seen yourself y/n? You’re pretty, smart, funny, and you have a fascinating music taste. And anything Remus might’ve said to make you feel less than perfect well... he didn’t mean it. Trust me, that wouldn’t be possible.”
You laughed. “What? Me being less than perfect or Remus meaning what he said?”
“Both,” James answered.
He must’ve felt it too. That pull. You almost considered moving closer to him, but before you could make the decision James stood. You were relieved, the spell was broken. Your senses came back. You shouldn’t have even thought about what it would feel like to kiss James Potter.
“Let’s get back up to the tower, it’s pretty fucking cold,” he said.
You only nodded and threw your cigarette to the ground, crushing it with your sneaker after you stood. “All right.”
The two of you walked back up silently and you were greeted by an apologetic Remus. As he held you in his arms though, all you could think about were the thoughts you had previously thought.
~~~
What if he’s written “mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bedsheets are ablaze, I’ve screamed his name
Building up like waves crashing over my grave
~~~
You gripped the red sheets of Remus’s bed so hard your knuckles turned white. Your breathing was heavy and unsteady. You tried to lean your head up to kiss him, but he wasn’t paying attention. It was something you’d grown used to. He liked to fuck you hard, not soft, not lovingly. No. He liked it intensely. You did too, but you also liked being gently taken care of.
Too bad he didn’t enjoy that anymore.
“Rem I-”
“I’m- almost done.” He cut you off, his breathless voice which once made you squirm now made you angry.
It was despicable, it was so wrong. And yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it.
You closed your eyes and began to imagine someone else on top of you. Instantly, you felt a rush of heat to your cheeks at the picture in your mind. He would be so much more careful, and considerate. You’d heard from many girls how good of a lover he was. All of them would dote on how much he liked pleasing them. With his fingers, his mouth, and his...
You tried to squeeze your thighs together.
You should’ve stopped, you knew that. But your mind kept going.
You pictured him on top of you. His curls would be so soft. His hands would be callused from Quidditch. He’d use them on you, make you cum over and over again. You imagined how he’d curl his fingers so perfectly inside you.
“That’s it, my perfect girl,” he’d whisper to you as he went on with it. “You’re so good for me, aren’t you?”
Suddenly, without warning, you felt yourself reach a peak you hadn’t reached in a while. You squeezed your eyes shut and came at the thought of how good James Potter's praises would make you feel.
When Remus was done, he lay next to you on the bed breathless. “You came?”
You only stared at the top of his bed. “Yeah.”
~~~
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath, takin all of me
We’ve already done it in my head
If it’s make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we’ll both uphold somehow?
~~~
There was something so exhilarating about being around James. Especially when the two of you were alone. It was as though every time the two of you had a moment alone, he gave you another reason to keep your fantasies going. Often, it made you wonder if he knew of your terrible thoughts.
The two of you sat by the black lake, the rest of your friends were further away playing a game of football. It was funny watching Lily get frustrated trying to explain the rules to Sirius, but it was even funnier when James commented on it from beside you.
“Oh no, he picked it up again. Evans is almost turning as red as her hair, I worry for her health,” the boy with glasses joked.
You snorted. “She’s going to have a heart attack from that boy mark my words.”
“I believe that. ‘Suppose it’s a good thing she’s thinking about becoming a Healer,” he replied.
You threw your head back as you laughed, one of your hands flying up to grip James’s arm. After a few seconds though, you composed yourself and pulled your hand off him as though it had been burned. Your eyes immediately found Remus across the field. He paid you no mind.
“Y/n can I ask you something a little personal?” James asked.
Your eyes met his and you didn’t hesitate to nod. “Sure.”
“You and Remus, things aren’t good between the two of you.”
“What gave that away?” You faked a smile. “But that’s not a question love.”
He really smiled. “I know. Sorry. My question was why are you still with him if things between the two of you are like this? I understand being in love, Merlin I tried to get Evans to go out with me for ages. But you and Moony... You used to be in our room all the time, you guys used to be so happy and I dunno around each other. Do you guys even go out anymore? I haven’t seen a snog between the two of you in a while.”
You inhaled a deep breath, your attention moving to the blade of grass between your fingers. “I suppose I’m afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Yes, afraid. Rem he- he's my first everything and I dunno. If we broke up the friend group would be torn, and everything would be complicated. I suppose it’s just easier this way,” you answered. You hadn’t been this honest about how you felt in a long time. It felt good. And it felt even better when you caught James’s caring eyes.
“Do you love him?”
His question caught you off guard. “I did. I still think I do.”
You watched him look across the field for a few seconds before he did something you never would’ve expected. Ever so gently, he placed his hand over yours on the grass. All you could do was stare wildly into his eyes. Was this supposed to make your heart race and your face red?
“I care about you y/n, and I care about Remus as well. I want what’s best for both of you and if I’m being honest, I don’t think that’s with each other,” he said softly.
“Have you said this to him then?” You questioned, you found it hard to breathe with the feeling of his rough hand on yours.
James nodded. “Of course I have. He doesn’t like advice that much though.”
“He really doesn’t does he?” You mumbled.
“No, he doesn’t. But either of you can talk to me about anything. You know that right? You don’t have to be afraid of anything y/n. Even if you do break up I’ll be here for you, you won’t be alone. Course you have Lily and Mary and Marlene as well but...” You watched his face change as he trailed off. “I dunno. I thought it would be different with me.”
“Different?” You held your breath. “How so?”
His thumb moved across your skin; you bit down on your lip.
“You know...” he trailed off again, his voice quieter than before.
All you could think about was how good it would feel to pounce on top of him and kiss him till you couldn’t breathe. You’d do it, even out there in the open. You imagined how intense and fast it would be. A few minutes at most but a lifetime of pleasure no doubt. He’d make you feel things you hadn’t felt in ages, he’d do whatever you asked. That’s just the person he was.
“James, you don’t even know the half of it,” you admitted softly.
“Love, I think I do.”
You could’ve fainted right then and there. His eyes were so mesmerizing, his voice sent goosebumps all over your body. It was terrible, despicable, and tragic. But oh, how fucking good it felt to be seen again. And as it seemed, James really saw you.
“James we can’t-”
“We aren’t doing anything.” He leaned closer to you. “And besides there’s no such thing as bad thoughts. Only your actions talk.”
“So you-”
“Yes, yes I do.”
“James...”
“I know I must sound like a god-awful prat but believe me I don’t want the two of you to break up so we can... No. I want you two to break up because both of you are miserable. And I do really care about the both of you, you’re my mates.” He explained quickly.
You turned back to the field and saw Remus slowly approaching. Without thinking you ripped your hand away from James’s as fast as you could and stood up. You took a few deep breaths before you looked down at James.
“If Remus and I do break up, I want you to know it’s not because of... all right?”
“All right.” He nodded.
“Good,” you said before turning and making your way out to Remus.
You knew what he wanted to do, and you would oblige.
You had about ten thousand more fantasies to think of during it anyway.
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pandoramarsh · 14 days
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Aaron, banging on the door: Josten, open up!
Neil: Well it all started when I was a child
Aaron: I meant the fucking door—
Matt, Nicky, Dan, Allison: LET HIM FUCKING TALK
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(I haven't played twst in months but if my memory is serving me right:)
Malleus tends to take most things very literally right? He takes the straightforward path, direct instruction without much consideration for anything else etc etc He's also not at all good with any type of """modern slang"""
MC, from what little they talk, uses a lot of sarcasm and snark right?
But also the two of them have canonically spent much more time together talking than we get to see and Malleus actively seeks them out to have conversations
So anyway;
MC gets used to adding what are basically irl tone indicators to the end of their sentences whenever it's needed. Just an offhand "i'm not serious/not literally"
And one day during their regular nightly walks Malleus is doing his pouty face because he's just come back from some meeting or another (that he actually attended for once) and sure it's great that his friend is thoughtful enough to always make sure he's following the conversation but there are times with all the other little humans where sometimes things just don't make sense. Not that he cares of course! It doesn't matter to him what they're talking about, he doesn't care if he's included or anything.....just... it'd be polite (that's it!) if he was included
Which is what he says when they ask why he seems upset (even though he's not upset! Really!)
And casually they say "well I'll just have to clear it up for you everyday then"
And now as far as Malleus is concerned they're engaged
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darkxwolf17 · 28 days
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They won't leave my mind
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thejudeduarte · 19 days
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chronicowboy · 1 year
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"trust me just this once" merlin says like arthur hasn't trusted merlin with his clothes, secrets, heart, life, whole damn kingdom, etc
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sprout-fics · 9 months
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Humbly requesting the stay the night prompt of “wait…you’ve been here all night?” Pairing whatever. Just wanting to see this written out 💜
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When you wake, the world feels like it’s trying to hammer you back unconscious. 
“Shit…” You say immediately following your groan, pressing the heel of your palm to your eyes to quell the horrible pulsing pain there. The headache feels like it’s trying to carve inside your skull, and you can taste bile still on your lips, tacky in your mouth.
The hell happened last night? You think blearily, blinking in the brightness of late morning sunlight that filters through your curtains. It’s too bright, but when you twist to try and draw them closed your body aches in protest. 
You try to recall the evening from the night before, recalling your giggling laughter as Soap slung an arm around your shoulder and dragged you over to the dance floor of the club. He and Gaz had belted out the lyrics to the songs, muffled by the pump of the speakers, had stumbled over to the bar and ordered more drinks. The rest is a dizzying haze of color and light, but judging from your clothes crumpled and the foul taste in your mouth, you can judge it didn’t go well. 
“Fuckin hell…” You groan at a fresh wave of throbbing at your temples. Yet your stomach rumbles, empty and biting at your insides, and at last it forces you from bed, stumbling down the stairs of your flat towards the kitchen.
Yet as you enter inside you’re startled to find a gigantic, looming figure in a dark hoodie, mask bunched around his nose as he sips from a mug that seems far too small for his massive hands.
“Ghost?” You squeak in surprise, bracing in the doorway with shock clear across your face. 
Ghost looks up at you, dark eyes not smudged with paint and clear behind his plain black balaclava. He doesn’t look surprised to see you at all, unlike you. 
“Was beginning to wonder if you were dead.” He remarks flatly, holding your gaze for a long moment, just enough to make your cheeks burn. You’re still dressed in your clothes from last night, hair messy and makeup likely smudged to shit. Yet Ghost appears entirely nonplussed, at last turning towards the kettle.
“You don’t remember.” He observes, and when you shake your head you groan, the motion far too much for your hangover headache. He glances over his shoulder at you, nodding with meaning towards a chair at the kitchen table. 
“Where’s Johnny…Gaz?” You ask as you gently lower yourself down, cradling your head in your hands. 
“Probably still bollocksed.” Ghost declares, turning and leaning on the counter as the kettle simmers behind him. “They were bog-faced by the time they called me. Said you were fallen from grace, from what I could make out.”
You knew that much, can tell from the way your stomach distantly rolls with discontent. It doesn’t explain why he’s here.
“So what?” You ask, rubbing your temples. “You helped me home?”
Ghost shrugs, mouth quirking with a hint of amusement in a rare glimpse of his expression. “Held your hair while you got sick, made you drink some water, kept you from texting your ex…joking.” He supplies at your aghast expression. “Settled down on your couch to make sure you didn’t wander out into the streets.”
You blink at that, raising your head from your hands and snapping to look at him. “Wait…you’ve been here all night?”
Ghost shrugs again, but this time there’s a strange ounce of guardedness to it, like he’s reluctant to admit he kept watch. 
“...and Soap and Gaz?” You venture, and that makes the wry, barely sinister smile return. 
“Told ‘em to bugger off. Might have to go hunting in some alleys for them later.”
You aren’t sure whether to laugh or be horrified with the dryness of his tone, half-convinced he’s telling the truth. Before you can ask, the kettle whistles behind him and Ghost turns, pouring the hot water into a second mug.
“Bloody sergeants.” He sighs, a little irritated. “Should have never let them take you out. Can’t be trusted when they’re sloshed.”
There’s a tone there that’s frustrated, and rather than it sitting unhappily in your chest it instead makes you smile. 
He was worried.
Ghost turns, sets the mug of tea on the table before you, his hand covering the top. Yet when you reach for it he doesn’t move, and you glance up to see his severe stare leveled down at you.
“No more getting pished.” Ghost tells you severely in a low murmur, and you grimace, duck your head in a rightful amount of shame. 
“No more drinking with the sergeants.” You recite dutifully, and Simon huffs a sound that almost feels like a chuckle.
He stands over you, arms crossed as you blow at your tea, watches as you finish it, and you feel warm under his gaze.
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prettyboykatsuki · 9 months
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ITOSHI SISTER AND TRYING TO SNEAK ISAGI OUT? you are getting caught
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sworn secrecy | i. yoichi.
✮ tags ; fem!reader(referred to as little sister but otherwise no gendered language), little sister itoshi (rin / sae are your big brothers), boyfriend!isagi, aged-up charas, use of honorfics for rin / sae (sae-nii / rin-nii), sneaking out, very silly. not nsfw but it's there implicitly
✮ wc ; 2k
✮ a/n ; have had bad writers block but this was a lot of fun.
✮ synopsis ; rin has made it very clear that isagi is strictly off-limits. you are not very good at listening.
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It's a miracle you haven't died.
Isagi sits on the edge of your bed, wet hair and shirtless while watching Youtube videos while you stare outside of the window of your bedroom. Both of your brothers cars are still parked into the driveway.
You're screwed, actually. There's no hope for you anymore. You freeze as you hear footsteps in the hallway, shooting Isagi a look. He shrugs at you, a sly grin on his face. Unbothered and amused by the entire situation.
He's not going to be any help either it seems. You step away and crawl over to him in distress, throwing yourself into his lap. He drops his phone on side of the bed with a laugh, as you sit your knees on either side of his thighs.
His hand goes instantly to rest on the small of your back, knocking his forehead to yours. He has the audacity to giggle at you.
"Yoichi," You bemoan, clinging onto him for comfort even though he's most of the problem "How can you laugh in these conditions? Do you know how fucked I am?"
He gives you a wry grin "Well in a way,"
You hit him softly for the crass comment before clinging onto his shoulder. Isagi holds you comfortably, kissing whatever part of your shoulder you can reach. He traces little patterns into your skin, and you let yourself lean into the touch because you're unsure of when the next time will be if either of you happen to get caught.
"Yoichi," You whine again, frustrated and huffing "If Rin-nii catches me he's going to kill me."
He has the nerve to laugh.
"He'll be pissed but he's not gonna say anything to you. He's gonna kick my ass though."
"That's what I'm worried about, you dummy."
"Aw, you're worried about me? Hm? My baby is worried about me?"
Isagis coaxing helps soften your nerves even though it's not fixing the problem. You giggle quietly at the feeling of his lips on your neck and decide you're going to see him again at all costs.
It's a bad situation to be in. Surprisingly, while both of your older brothers are protective of you - Rin is the most strict about why you're not allowed to date his friends. Sae is a lot more lax about it, maybe because he's the oldest with the worst tendency of spoiling you. The only person he refuses to let you get involved with is Oliver and Shidou - but he doesn't particularly care about his other teammates if you're interested.
Rin, on the other hand, has been very verbal about you dating his teammates. A strict no on all of them, every last one - even the good and nice guys like gorilla-king Barou or Musclehead Kunigami. Chigiri is off-limits, Bachira is definitely off-limits, and the list goes on and on.
Of all of them though, Rin has a special disdain for the boy currently sitting half-naked in your bed after having sex with you the night before.
"If I ever catch that fucking freak looking at you, I'll kill him. You're not allowed to date Isagi ever."
When you were a little younger and it mattered to you more - you did try to stay away from them altogether. As the team went pro and Isagi came around more often to practice or bother Rin, the more difficult this ask became.
Isagi is two years older than you, and he's always been so nice to you. You'd only started speaking to him recently. He's attentive and charismatic, and awkward in an attractive way. All of that along with how he is when he plays - nauseatingly arrogant and cocky and so impossibly sexy made in impossible to stay away.
He wasn't always so tempting. But as of a few months ago, you couldn't take his eyes off him. So, at a party and away from your brothers view - you came onto him. He was even nice enough to try and stop you since he probably knew the outcome.
But your crush was only growing in size and you were determined to fuck him at least. So fuck him you did. You'd half been expecting your brothers gloom and doom to come true. You thought you'd wake up to an empty bed and no phone number - figure out why he'd always been so adamant on it.
Your bed was empty, but Isagi wasn't gone, he was making breakfast - grinning at you as you padded downstairs. You realized later that you'd be wiped down and changed sometime in the middle of the night. Turns out Isagi had his eyes on you for a long time, but per Rin's insanity decided not to approach. And now that you'd gone this far, he was determined to keep you.
Bridges burned, you started dating in secrecy. The only person who knows is Bachira. You kind of think Sae found out months ago, but chose not to let it slip. He just occasionally gives you knowing glances and tells you to be safe more often than not.
It's been 6-months and the two of you have been so careful. Isagi is mostly careful for your sake. He's told you more than once that he doesn't care who knows, even if it's Rin.
But you know your brother, and how fucking deranged he tends to be about stuff like this. So you've been sneaking around, doing home-dates or long-drives to avoid things that are too public and it's worked. You've been extra careful when you bring Isagi home - usually choosing to stay at his place.
Rin isn't supposed to be here. He went on a daytrip with his team for some photoshoot and was supposed to be home tomorrow. Sae was supposed to be in the gym. Now they're both at home, and Isagi is sitting in your bed while you're covered in hickies.
And you have not the slightest fucking idea how you're going to get him the hell out without being caught.
"I'm worried Rin-nii is going to fist-fight you." You say sincerely. Isagi laughs.
"I forgot he almost got into with Shidou. And Sae."
You sigh a deep sigh as Isagi rubs a circle into your back.
"I love you," You say with another frown.
"I love you too. Stop worrying so much. It'll be fine."
"You're only saying that because you don't know how much Rin lectured me about you specifically."
"Me specifically? Seriously? Am I that much of a villain to that guy?"
You laugh a little wetly "Yeah, kinda."
"Damn. Tough crowd.'
You both sit together in silence for a minute before sighing.
"Do you think I should enlist Sae-niis help?"
Isagi gives you a confused look. "I thought he didn't know?"
"I never told him but," You shrug sheepishly "Pretty sure he figured it out."
Isagi gives you a little kiss on the cheek "If you trust him, I trust him. We don't talk much but he seems cool to me."
You nod a little before grabbing your phone from next to Isagi - pulling back as you look for Sae's contact.
(sent 11:34am) : my beloved flesh and blood you know i love you with my whole heart yes.
from sae-nii (sent 11:34am) : how much money do you need? (sent 11:34 am) : no no its not that this time.
(sent 11:35 am) : uhm. isagi is in my room. and i need to sneak him out so rin doesn't see. help me. please please please. from sae-nii (sent 11:38 am) : ... you're such an idiot.
from sae-nii (sent 11:39am) : ill distract him. come down in 5 minutes exactly. and don't do this stupid shit again. im not helping you next time. (sent 11:40 am) : thank u i love you ur the best ever. favorite midfielder in the world.
You moan a sigh of relief as you drop your head onto Isagi's shoulder.
"Sae-nii is helping us. We're saved. Didn't even ask about anything."
"We'll have to make it up to him sometime." Isagi offers. You nod emphatically. You're sure he's going to interrogate you later but it won't be nearly as bad.
"We only have 5 minutes. I'll help you get your stuff."
"Thanks baby."
In 5 minutes, you help Isagi get dressed, pack of his stuff in the drawstring bag he brought with him, and give him a few kisses goodbye. You get a text at 11:44 on the dot saying Rin will be distracted for a little and to head down.
Your door creeks as you poke your head down, looking both ways before opening it completely and letting Isagi out. He does the same gesture as the two of you quietly make your down the stairs, Isagi's hand in yours as you trail behind him.
When you're finally downstairs, Sae is waiting at the end of the steps with a very unimpressed expression. You give him a look of gratitude, and he merely shakes his head. You're feeling especially lucky today.
Isagi comes all the way down and you stand next to him. Sae puts a hand on his shoulder and leans in.
"I called an Uber. It'll be waiting at the 7/11 on the corner..." A slight pause "Treat her well or I'll ruin your entire career."
Isagi swallows awkwardly.
"Y-yeah, of course."
Sae gives a satisfied nod before looking at you "I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah, got it. Thank you nii-san." You reply. He softens before shaking his head.
"Go say your goodbyes outside. The Uber will be there soon and he still has to walk down there."
You usher Isagi outside, mouthing one last thank you to your brother before gently shutting the door behind you. Finally at your front door, you get a good look at your boyfriend under the early morning sun.
You give him a long hug, squeezing him tight as the wind passes by. He returns to the gesture, smiling in a goofy way as he pulls away from you.
"Stop looking so sad, baby." He reaches for you, cupping your cheek in his palm as he rubs his thumb underneath your eyes "I'll see you again soon, yeah."
You nod. You really don't want to part with him. Strangely the whole fiasco is only making you feel more fond. You hum, then sigh - giggling a bit.
"Mm, okay. Thanks for being you. Sorry your in-laws are insane."
"In-laws? Oh, am I getting proposed to first? That won't do."
"Stop that, I'm kidding."
"I'm not," He says with a light laugh "Let me win the World Cup first once though." He pulls your hand to his lips, kissing your ring finger and feeling for the size. You flush.
"Stop being so romantic and go home."
He laughs a little again, kissing your hairline and temple before kissing you once on the lips.
"Message received. I'll text you. Love you. Bye baby."
"Bye,"
You part with one last kiss, watching as Isagi walks down the sidewalk and disappears around the corner without looking back. A wave of relief passes over you but you'd soon find out how short-lived the moment would truly be.
You feel your phone buzz in your pocket.
from sae-nii ( sent 11:57 am) : i tried to keep him from going outside but he..
The message cuts off as a sense of dread fills your stomach. You turn around slowly only to see Rin at the window, fuming.
Oh, you're so absolutely screwed.
__
AFTERMATH.
Isagi slides into the Uber with a heavy sigh, before sliding his phone open. A flood of messages awaits him all from the same time. Some from you opening with an apology - more from Rin that are a variety of threats.
He starts laughing in the back of the Uber, barely able to contain himself.
from evil twin (sent 11:56 am) : im gonna fucking murder you.
from evil twin (sent 11:56 am) : i already told her. no you especially. im gonna fucking flay you as soon as i see you.
Isagi laughs as he types back a reply, shutting his phone after putting his airpods in and playing music.
sent 12:08 pm : looking forward to family dinner otouto
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kvtnisseverdeen · 11 months
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octonine · 5 months
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[Image Description: Edited screenshot of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off episode 3. The picture is a close-up of Kim and Roxie kissing, and it was edited to have Ramona on the bottom left of the screen, inside a "Live Ramona Reaction" frame, drinking a hot chocolate (I think). End ID]
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frogchiro · 2 months
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I hear it is time to spread the word of our lord and savior Tachanka? 👀
link: (https://rainbowsix.fandom.com/wiki/Tachanka_(Siege) Context of link: Just the wiki page of R6 operator Tachanka.
But I wanna highlight a few things!!!
Alexsandr Senaviev was born on November 3rd in Leningrad, Russia to a military family. At the age of eighteen, Senaviev was conscripted into military service just as the Soviet Union was ending its operations in Afghanistan. Upon the dissolution of his draft, Senaviev opted to enlist full time. He was part of the wrestling league, where his formidable frame and match strategy earned him accolades. 
Alexsandr Senaviev has a boisterous sense of humor with a booming laugh. He can be quite blunt, but without the intent to offend
Senaviev's younger sister is a doctor and our discussion had barely started when he was showing me pictures of her in her doctor's smock, along with a dozen more photos of his nieces and nephews and his own kids. […] He and his sister grew up in a strict household without many things, which is why he makes a great effort to enjoy life. They both make sure that their kids are loved and raised with laughter. At the same time, he doesn't like to buy or accumulate physical objects and emphasizes this with his children, much to their consternation. I suspect that's also partly to do with his divorce. […]
(Also the main reason why we refer to Tachanka as 'lord'/godly is mainly 'cause his weapons/loadout is shit.)
Ladies and gentlemen, we got ourselves a REAL LIFE DILF <33
From what I gathered on his wiki he has at least two children, one of them a son and an ex-wife! Also him being an ex wrestler because of his size and strength...
Imagine being a babysitter for his kids, a 6 year old boy and a sweet 3 year old girl who absolutely adore their nanny who spends the majority of their time with them since their father is still a busy man and their mother is using her newfound freedom as a divorced woman so you're babysitting the little ones for a hefty sum from their dad whenever you're free from college.
But you have to admit, while the kids are literal angels and a delight to babysit, they nor the money are the sole reason for you being so eager to babysit and their father, Alexsandr, played a huge part in it too.
He was so large and heavily build, no doubt from his years in the military but his charming, boisterous attitude combined with his broad, toothy grin that almost seemed boyish on his mature face was what really made you fall for him :(( Whenever the kids were playing or napping, you two had a little time with each other to just talk and spend time together, get to know each other better because 'Let's not make this one of those stick-in-the-ass rigid employer-employee relationships, yes?' as Alexsandr put it himself.
The connection between you deepened but you were still so shy under his clear blue eyes :(( You couldn't possibly do the first move, what if he doesn't return your feelings? He's much older than you, he has a military career, two kids and a divorce, surely he wouldn't ever be interested in someone like you...right?
Ofc little did you know that Alexsandr was tugging his lengthy, heavy cock every night after sending you off with a thick wad of cash and a loud, happy thank you for taking care of his kids, though in reality he was everything but happy :(( Like it or not but the burly male fell for you, the most cliche thing on earth, the young, sweet babysitter that visited him home almost every day to care for his little ones with a gentle smile towards them and him too, such a stark contrast from his ex wife...
He was cumming every night multiple times to the thought of you right here beside him, in his bed, all nice and naked, sated and warm after a night of passionate love making. He came on his hairy tummy with a displeased growl, once the post nut clarity set in and realized that he wasted so much precious seed when it could be inside you >:(
Alexsandr knew he had to have you, had to confess to you how he felt but didn't know how; his loud, charismatic attitude failing him for the first time in years but these thoughts were for the time being pushed back once again to the back of his mind. He could think of a better solution on how to win you over once he wasn't so terribly horny, testosterone clouding his mind as his heavy cock jumped to life once again, thick potent sperm oozing from his swollen tip and Alexsandr could only think about how well he could breed you, he was a real stud despite his age y'know? Plus he always wanted another kid anyway <33
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