Femme Fatale Guide: How To Manage & Overcome Fear

Ultimately, fear is born out of anxiety over some sort of distrust –whether it's grounded in logic, emotion, perception, past experiences, etc.

Fear arises from an unknown – any new experience, opportunity, failure, relationship, changes in habits/routines, etc. So, ultimately, this fear is your way of coping with not distrusting others to do what you expect or desire and/or not trusting yourself to be able to cope with a certain environment, habit, responsibilities, changes, interpersonal conflict, etc.

To depersonalize fear, recognize that it's an anxious/emotional response to either a reasonable or illogical unknown/uncertainty. Then, I see what my realistic options are on how to handle the situation and proceed with my following actions by answering these questions:

Looking back at this moment in a year's time, what do I wish I would've done?

What red or green flags are my anxieties discounting or telling me to overlook?

How many of my concerns are grounded in reality, and how many are based on assumptions or negative self-talk?

If a friend was handling this situation, how would I proceed?

Once you answer these questions, you're forcing yourself to take the emotions out of the situation and see all of the key players + moving parts more objectively to make a rational decision.

You have to calculate the best possible outcome for yourself, but ultimately, the goal of overcoming fear is to stop holding yourself back from what you want and live without regrets.

If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery - isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.

Charles Bukowski, Factotum

The more she heard about the plans for the experiment, the more Clara wished she had stayed in the living room.

It’s 5 am and I have been awoken from a dream where I was reflecting on “my year of taking risks” with three girls younger than me. It was surreal to relay all the things i identified as risks, and important to me, from my waking life. My jaw was so tense in the dream I think that’s what woke me up.

10 Ways to Take Risks: How to Discover & Embrace the Unexpected!

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Hello! INFJ here. I recently moved to a new city, and I don't have any friends here. What does not help the case is that my previous friend circle broke up basically, bc everyone went to different ways in life. This is the first time in my life, when I'm alone. So learned from mistakes, now I want to make new friends here in the new place, but I don't know how to start. Do you have any recommendation? It can be about the good mindset for this, or what would you do. I'd like to hear your opinion.

Generally speaking, you need good social skills to have a healthy social life, and emotional intelligence is the most important component. Whether you're looking for a friend or a date, all relationships begin with the first moments of emotional connection. Whether the relationship evolves further depends on the ability of both parties to keep the emotional connection going and growing. Socializing well requires several capabilities, all of which can be improved through learning and practice:

1) Openness: Approach people with a genuine willingness to engage, receive, and contribute. Give people the benefit of the doubt by assuming they are a good relationship candidate until there is evidence otherwise. When you approach socializing with full openness, you are actively looking for relationship opportunities all around you, whenever and wherever people appear. Psychological issues like self-absorption, distrust, apathy, depression, pessimism, cynicism, judgmentalness, and prejudice get in the way of openness and should be remedied through self-improvement.

2) Risk-Taking: Being "new in town" can be a great way to start a conversation because it allows you to approach people and solicit information without appearing weird or nosy. If you want someone to engage with you, you have to put out some kind of "invitation" or "offer" to let them know that an opportunity for connection is available. For example, use small talk to get to know a stranger, invite an old friend for an activity, or offer help to someone in need of assistance. The degree of commitment of the invitation/offer should be appropriate to how well you know each other. Risk-taking implies that a person should be proactive and assertive, but this doesn't guarantee you will get what you expect in return. People aren't obligated to take up your invitations and offers, so you have to be able to move on quickly from dead ends, declines, or rejections. If you are unable to handle emotional risk gracefully due to psychological issues with fear, anxiety, shame, anger, or past trauma, then it is advisable to undergo therapy to resolve the issue.

3) Give-and-Take: When people present you with an opportunity to connect, you have to be able to read the cues and respond appropriately, in a way that lets the other person know you are interested in continuing. This includes things such as: showing respect, taking turns initiating, being fully present and listening, asking thoughtful questions to further conversation, answering questions in full sentences, sharing your experience, giving energy, mirroring body language, reflecting emotions, validating their experience. Remember that the majority of communication takes place through emotions. Emotional communication is like playing a noncompetitive game of catch, where you keep passing the ball between you and try not to drop it. The game ends when both agree to it or when nobody wants to pick the ball back up. For various reasons, some people do not have natural aptitude for picking up social cues and/or do not have good knowledge of socially appropriate responses, in which case, some formal study and practice may be required (see the recommended books on the resources list).

4) Perspective-Taking: A relationship moves beyond superficial exchange to become "close" when you care more, commit more, get involved in each other's daily life, understand each other's point of view, and look out for each other in a reciprocal way. This requires that you are able to step outside of yourself and enter into the experience of another, through cognitive and emotional empathy. Unfortunately, many people live a life that is too full/fast/messy to include another person. Remember that a close relationship requires time and effort, so you may have to reconfigure your priorities to ensure you devote enough to your friendships.

5) Meaning-Making: A relationship becomes "intimate" when two people are able to generate meaningful experiences together. This usually happens through: reinforcing shared values and ideals, participating in shared rituals and traditions, pursuing important goals together, processing emotional events together, supporting and helping each other through challenging and difficult times. An intimate relationship means that two people are close enough for differences and old baggage to create disagreement and conflict, which means that both parties need to have good conflict resolution skills and enough emotional maturity to communicate constructively through disagreements.

Remember that socializing is an art, not a science. You have to be adaptable and go with the flow of what's happening, rather than relying on fixed rules. Not everyone's going to be your BFF, so make room in life for all kinds of different relationships, if you hope to create a strong social support network.

"I hate small talk. I wanna talk about atoms, death, aliens, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different memories, the lies you've told, your flaws, your favorite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears. I like people with depth, who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't want to know 'what's up'. -- someone from Twitter

Hi :)

I love your blog! What are your thoughts on fear and handling fear?

Hi love! Thanks so much <3

I believe that, ultimately, fear is born out of anxiety over some sort of distrust – whether it's grounded in logic, emotion, perception, past experiences, etc. Fear arises from an unknown – any new experience, opportunity, failure, relationship, changes in habits/routines, etc. So, ultimately, this fear is your way of coping with not distrusting others to do what you expect or desire and/or not trusting yourself to be able to cope with a certain environment, habit, responsibilities, changes, interpersonal conflict, etc.

My approach is to depersonalize fear and recognize that it's an anxious/emotional response to either a reasonable or illogical fear. Then, I see what my realistic options are on how to handle the situation and proceed with my following actions by answering these questions:

Looking back at this moment in a year's time, what do I wish I would've done?

What red or green flags are my anxieties discounting or telling me to overlook?

How many of my concerns are grounded in reality, and how many are based on assumptions or negative self-talk?

If a friend was handling this situation, how would I proceed?

Hope this helps xx

RISK … RICH

Tea Time Emotiku

RISK TAKING, 07/29/2023

"Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life." Herbert Otto

Life hangs by a thread / Our lives -- they zip by so fast / Just enjoy the ride! © keefderpoet

I kept myself self-medicated for so long, that much of the blur I thought came from a fast life was actually just the "medicine" whiting out my cognition. Sobriety has brought me to the realization that life is now at a blur, not from a chemically induced fog, but because my ass has finally gained traction, and I am finally moving forward. I'll admit that I sometimes miss the stupor, but mostly am glad to seize the rest of the time I have left to smell the flowers as I pass them by. Soon enough, I'll be pushing them up, if you catch my drift. keefderpoet

Anias Nin

Elon Musk's 24-Hour Risk Reignition: Twitter, Tesla, and SpaceX

Billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk is back at it again, taking big risks with three different companies in just 24 hours. He stripped high-profile users of their Twitter verification, prioritized sales volume over profitability at Tesla, and launched SpaceX's first giant space rocket, which unfortunately exploded.

Musk's career and fortune were built on taking calculated risks and weathering failures. However, his recent moves come at a critical time in his entrepreneurial career, where missteps could overshadow his previous successes.

At Tesla, Musk's bet to cut prices to increase demand resulted in a 24% drop in profits, and his strategy of prioritizing sales volume over profitability remains to be seen. Meanwhile, his move to strip celebrities and journalists of their Twitter verification risks alienating power users who helped make the site popular.

Despite these risks, Musk remains undeterred and confident in his ability to make the right decisions. His willingness to take risks and powerful attitude towards failure may be his most important contribution to business.

In the end, Musk's latest SpaceX rocket launch may have ended in failure, but it's all part of the learning process that will help advance the giant rocket, essential to his mission of taking people to Mars.

Elon Musk is a risk-taking visionary who continues to push boundaries and extend the frontiers of knowledge and progress.

Making Things Happen: The Power of Proactivity

Are you tired of waiting for things to just happen to you? Are you ready to take control of your life and make things happen? Well, today is your lucky day because that's exactly what I’m going to talk about!

As the famous quote goes, "Things do not happen. They are made to happen." This means that instead of sitting around and waiting for opportunities to come your way, you have to actively create them yourself. But don't worry, making things happen doesn't have to be a daunting task. In fact, it can be quite fun and inspiring!

First things first, you need to have a clear goal in mind. What is it that you want to make happen? It could be anything from landing your dream job to finally starting that business you've always wanted to. Once you have a goal, you can start breaking it down into smaller, manageable steps. This will make it easier for you to take action and move forward.

Next, get organized! Create a plan of action and set deadlines for yourself. This will help you stay on track and make sure you're making progress towards your goal. And don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Whether it's getting advice from a mentor or recruiting a team of like-minded individuals, there's nothing wrong with getting a little support along the way.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, don't be afraid to fail. Making things happen is about taking risks and trying new things. And sometimes, those risks don't pay off. But that's okay! Failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. So when things don't go as planned, don't let it discourage you. Instead, use it as motivation to keep pushing forward and making things happen.

In conclusion, the power of proactivity is not to be underestimated. By actively creating opportunities and taking control of your life, you can achieve anything you set your mind to. So go out there and start making things happen!

you'll never know if someone loves you for you at the moment but time will tell and taking a risk might be the best thing you could do

Xiani Marrero