Sometimes I think about the intrinsically doomed tragedy of Lisa loving Taylor and frantically trying to prevent her self destruction by doing absolutely everything for her while refusing to let down her own walls, and when she is genuine and lets Taylor see through the facade it's not enough to keep her and she still leaves both times. Or I think about the unbreakable bond and trust between Rachel and Taylor where Taylor is the only one who tries to communicate properly with her and does so much to help to the point where Rachel would trust her with literally anything which means she trusts Taylor to have a plan even when Taylor's plan is to throw herself away. Or I think about Brian and Taylor's friendship and later relationship that happened because Brian needed some way to deal with the horror of what Bonesaw did without letting down his walls because if he stops appearing in control he'll crack and they just both tried and failed so hard to be normal, but if things went differently they could have been happy together. Or I think about Taylor and Alec and how Alec saw her as a good normal how Taylor never really understood him even at the end and didn't even like him because she can't acknowledge their similarities and maybe if things were different they could grow to understand each other a bit more. Or I think about Taylor and Aisha and how Aisha went from being a mischievous gremlin constantly to losing her best friend and then her brother and then she had to stand by Taylor and sing to her as she broke and faded as a person while fully knowing she was going to lose another friend and having that confirmed when Taylor seized her body and held a knife to her throat. And every time I think about all the tragedies of loving Taylor Hebert, the ways things could have gone differently and everyone could have been happy if things were tweaked in the slightest way, I remember the glory of fanfiction and bask in the knowledge that other people feel this and will write their own fics where the characters get a better ending, and life is good.

And then I go on AO3 and I remember that 35% of fanfic in this wretched fandom is alternate powers for someone named Taylor who definitely isn't acting like her, 18% is revenge fantasies against the bullies where Taylor is harsher to Sophia specifically hmmm I wonder why, 22% is Taylor in the most unrealistic sanitized relationship ever written where everyone is out of character and reading it feels like eating styrofoam, 13% is attempting to redeem Purity or Rune or someone else in the E88, 11% has Greg as a main character with epic gamer powers, and the remaining 1% is actually readable original fanfic. I'm so tired. Why are so so many people shipping some combination of Taylor, Victoria, and Amy. Who the fuck is writing Polysiders. Why is 80% of this written and read by people who haven't read Worm and smugly believe that the absolute garbage fanfics they've read are better because nothing bad happens. I'm going insane I can't take this.

pardon me i'm just overwhelmed by wang yibo (as usual)

It's just, this kid, THIS KID, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND LET ME EXPLAIN

— he has to battle his way up through the ranks of YG to get to debut, in another country, away from his parents, while barely a teenager, all while learning a second language, and he not only does it, but according to legend he and Lisa are the only two foreign idols in YG history to graduate the program with all As

— and then his debut gets canceled and he has to go back to China and Yuehua and restart his entire career without much support at all from his agency, and he just does it, he starts the grind all over and just fucking does it

— he isn't even Yuehua's first choice for Day Day Up's new host competition, and they submit him only because he speaks Korean and that's good for the show, but then Wang Han sees him backstage one day and sees how hard he's working on his dance routine and immediately knows that Yibo is their next host, and not only is he an incredible addition to the show, but he stays on DDU longer than he reasonably should given how massively famous he gets, and he's so beloved that when he returns for Hunan's 2022 NYE concert, the network rolls out the red carpet and treats him like he's their hometown son and Wang Han is like, "Our Yibo has come home" (And Luoyang is the girlfriend in the distracted boyfriend meme lol but ykwim)

— he has to submit his comp shots twice just to even get an audition before anyone takes him seriously for The Untamed!! Except then the moment they see him, they immediately know he's their Lan Zhan

— he's the "pretty idol" throwaway captain for SDC3 and you can tell this when you watch the editing for the first episode because the comments for Yibo are all about how hot he is, and he comes in last place after the first captain's dance, and it's clear nobody really takes him seriously, but then the second he opens his street auditions, the tone of the entire show changes and from then on, for the next two seasons, he is completely unstoppable, his talent and intelligence and strategic thinking and competitive drive are so raw and exciting to watch that he basically takes over the entire show, the ratings more than double from s2 to s3, his fandom grows even more massive, and the dancers all fucking LOVE HIM. like dude he wins street dance of china so hard that within three seasons he's basically co-producing it and he's literally given a writing credit.

— The director of Being a Hero doesn't think he's old or mature enough to play Chen Yu and then Yibo sits down and talks to him about why he wants the role and the director realizes that Yibo basically is Chen Yu, he's the focused hard-working persevering single-minded actor of his dreams, and Yibo winds up giving a performance so moving it makes the director cry and declare, "That? That's acting."

— he jumps from no ranking at all to 9th place to #2!!!!!! within TWO YEARS on the Forbes China 100 Most Powerful people list between 2019 and 2021

— Duhua famously didn't take him seriously or treat him well for most of their long contractual relationship, oh shit, because now according to YH's latest investor report for Q3-4 2022, he singlehandedly brings in 90% of the profit for her entire company, a shareholder, the "top talent," and the one who has to pay whenever Uniq gets together because he's "the boss"

— Yibo goes from being the SDC underdog to being so respected that when Da Peng is looking for a dancer to star in his street dance movie, he asks all the best street dancers what actor is capable of doing the moves, and they all unanimously tell him: Wang Yibo. Da Peng winds up telling the press on Weibo Film night 2022 that he wrote the whole movie for Yibo, and that "if there's no Yibo, there's no movie"

— Cheng Er, director of Wuming, claims he has no idea who Yibo is, and just decided to cast him in a supporting role in his film because he looks the part of a Republic-era spy. And then he sees Yibo act, and he sees Yibo immerse himself in the part, and he sees how hard Yibo is willing to work and how committed he is, and he rewrites his entire movie until Wang Yibo is the main fucking character; Wang Yibo, in his first major film debut, acts his way into the lead and earns rave reviews from across the globe, including the goddamn new york times

Every time you think people will have finally figured out that you do not underestimate Wang Yibo, you learn of some new example where Yibo, once again, has had to prove himself in an industry that perpetually writes him off and doesn't take him seriously at first — only for the people around him to be absolutely blown away by his talent and dedication and mesmerizing star power.

And this happens over and over and over again. And he just does the work, always, every time, without complaint, and every time the result is something surprising and unexpected and fantastic and such a mark of his incredible passion and talent

— and every time I think my heart can't possibly grow any more sizes over Yibo, he proves me wrong

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

*NOTE; Gideon Nav propaganda below Narrator's, as poll maker decided to cut some under Read More for post length

The Narrator Propaganda:

Just... Just listen to the "unfunny" clip, what's more to say, vote for the gay old guy

Depending on the ending, he can be

Spoilers I guess??? He's always trying to guide Stanley to the outcome HE wants, which is a very, very small chunk of the game where the player just obeys everything and doesn't experience anything else. Obeying Narrator to a T will win you the "Freedom" ending, where Stanley can finally leave the office building, and Narrator will wax on about how Stanley's "happy" and "finally free to live at last". ...exceeeept, on completion, Stanley will spawn right back in the building as though nothing happened, restarting the adventure all over again. The truth is that Stanley will never be free, regardless of what the Narrator says. Stanley is trapped in the building and will stay trapped no matter what. This truth can only be acknowledged if you're defiant, and even then, I may be mistaken but I'm pretty sure the Narrator never fully admits this??? The museum ending has a WHOLE DIFFERENT narrator explain their mutually fucked circumstances. The dishonest factors can increase in other ways from the player's input (for example, the Narrator might say "Stanley walked through the left door", but the player can use their input to defy this statement and go through the right one instead, therefore making the Narrator's statement inherently dishonest and the Narrator will get pissy about it, changing the outcome for that path). Sometimes he'll misdirect when he's petulant, especially if the player is directly defying his instructions, which makes the game feel like a game of tug-rope for control at points. I want to say there are times where he directly attempts to trick the player but admittedly I can't think of an exact instance. Plus you know, the Narrator has a large ego and always talks big about things like his importance and integrity and whatnot so who knows how much of that is even sincere and how much is a sad veneer, but that's getting into overanalysis territory and my fingers hurt so let's leave this here. I hope this was coherent.

he quite literally rewrites the story whenever he has issues with the direction stanley starts to go in, i do not know how to explain it better than that

He is literally the narrator, and he constantly tries to mislead and lie to Stanley through the narration to get him back on the story’s proper path

He constantly narrates what Stanley is feeling as if it is the truth, when it is not. He speaks as a authority, and while he is one, he is definitely not reliable.

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of “oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

time travel fix it au's are done to death in this fandom but also they're my favourite thing in the world so au where the entire show happens as is and it's heartbreaking and inspiring etc but then. restart button. waking back up at the start of the end except only the people that lived remember

wanna think about what would happen when daryl and carol wake up at camp, remembering everything that happened; carol stronger, knowing in her gut that everything that she remembers is real, and daryl fucking terrified, because if everything in his head actually happened, then what the fuck is this

wanna think about a rick dragging a hostile merle and a wide-eyed glenn back to camp, memories completely intact, and running to reunite with his family. not letting daryl go and hugging carol so so so tight, collapsing to the ground with carl in his arms

wanna think about them dragging the atlanta group to the farm, maggie leaving the front porch light on for them, and everyone reuniting. rick seeing hershel again, daryl seeing beth, carol pulling sophia close, and maggie being unable to even breath, looking at glenn

wanna think about them tossing up whether to even go to the prison, but they met important people there, and alexandria's a long way, and if they're gonna survive this time–if they're gonna live–they're gonna do it right

so they go to the prison so they can figure out their next step, and michonne's there and waiting, andre on her hip, and they deal with the governor before the governor deals with them, and sasha and tyresse finally show up, they find the prisoners, and then one day they get a knock on the front gate, and it's negan

negan showing up, no baseball bat in hand but his leather jacket still in place, a sick but alive lucille by his side, laura and doctor franklin behind him, and all he's got to say is at the end of the world, i know which side i wanna be on

the fallout of that, of maggie being against it, of rick never having gotten to see negan at the end, not knowing the choices he made, the good and the bad. daryl and carol looking at glenn, seeing him alive and in love and having no memory of his last moments, and never wanting anything to ruin that, but negan saved judiths life, helped save all their lives. he chose, in the end, and now it's their turn

wanna think about a future where beth doesn't die, but they go on a rescue mission to get noah anyway. a future where tara turns up with her niece, led by eugene with abraham and rosita following right behind him

wanna think about how they'd handle terminus, how they'd handle the claimers. wanna think about them trying to find father gabriel, except gabe made it the first time around, and he wasn't wasting his second chance. he saved his flock, and he led them to alexandria, and he's waiting

wanna think of connie's group searching for hilltop. not finding maggie, or alden, but finding jesus. wanna think about lydia, being a fucking child, and watching her mother kill her dad, and remembering aaron telling her how loved she was

wanna think of the growing pains of them being able to save so many more family members this time, but god, a larger group is harder to keep alive

daryl trying to run interference with merle and everyone else, getting the jack of it one day and telling him he's already mourned him once, and he won't again. if merle wants to stay–to live–then it's up to him. daryl's not gonna babysit him anymore

rick trying to find his footing between lori and shane and judith, with carl, with michonne and andre. michonne looking at a weak but alive lori grimes holding a screaming and crying newborn in her arms, and knowing that she's never gonna be her daughter the way she was before, but knowing she'll always be something to her

carol struggling to be the mother sophia needs her to be, emotions too sharp and constantly fucking terrified. doesn't know how to hold onto someone like that anymore, either gripping too tight or not at all

maggie trying to exist in a world where she has everyone she's ever loved back, so close and so fucking dear, except it cost her her son. not knowing if she'll ever get him back at all. doesn't know how to live with the grief of losing someone she never technically had in this world

they make it to alexandria and it's aaron opening the gate for them, waiting to welcome them home

I’m coming off anon so you can study me under a microscope and examine my Batfamily brainrot. Also I thought your name was Raul until I reread your bio.

Anyway, All the original 4 boys being such daddy’s boys kills me. I want them to attack him with affection and just want to make him proud and go to him when they have nightmares and-

Vibe check PASSED <33 and sjsjjsjs I'm also fine with Lee!!! Fun fact, I'm Romanian and my full first name is Raluca. Lee comes from my surname, so I'm cool with both :D

GODDDD YEAHHHHH congrats you get an A+ in fandom, dude, - I was literally thinking,, about Jason having a secret Bruce Wayne stan account. It's just filled with like,

" anyone remember that time Bruce Wayne forgot his entire speech for his Gala and absolutely bombed the entire thing??? And his butler had to walk on stage to give him his notes? That's my favourite moment. " TO

" God I love bruce wayne so much. So much. God I fucking love bruce wayne I love him. May plague and famine hit your house if you don't love bruce wayne"

God. No thoughts only Bruce taking care of the bat boys when they're sick. Dick is constantly pretending to be fine, Tim whines the most, Jason just keeps trying to escape, and Damian is surprisingly cooperative. " I must regain my health. The sooner I can restart my couch wrestling schedule with Baba again, the better."

Bruce tries not to smile, " Do you mean... Our couch cuddling?"

" IT IS WRESTLING! CUDDLING IS FOR THE WEAK!"

Bruce simply rolls him into a burrito blanket, " Hn"

hey rainbow neko,I have a question.why did the ask the 64 rejects blog get deleted?idk why since I haven’t checked the updates since about errrr… early 2023?Im really curious although it’s fine if you don’t wanna answer since you’re not very active in the eddsworld fandom anymore

also I’m the guy who labelled most of the clones if you remember

Sigh...

So. I'm really sorry- I can't go into details about the why or the who or the reason. I don't want anyone to think I'm advocating for harassment of anyone involved or to go do anything regarding the people on or off the blog.

But turtle- the one who wanted to restart the blog after a previous owner shut it down. Isn't a good person. They'll claim they are- they'll say they've gotten better, they'll do whatever they need to do to get you to be friends with them before you see the red flags.

But they're not. They have them. Big red flags. They destroyed me in a way that will take a bit to recover from.

Trust me when I say, I know that the deleting of such a blog is saddening. Heartbreaking even.

But I can't care.

I can't bring myself to care even a little bit. The only emotion I can bring to its deletion (IF that is what happened and turtle isn't just- restarting it all on a new blog entirely) is the joy of someone who just watched their offender get prosecuted.

I am truely happy to see it go. Nothing else.

Maybe I'll make my own fucking version with rules and regulations and NO turtle. But not right now. I need to heal.

okay, so a few things I've learnt as adult over the years, and I wish I could restart and do it differently. (not fandom related post, I just wanted to write it)

don't be honest. people say "oh be honest while making friends, or looking for a job etc" and honestly it was my mindset since forever. but what I see is, people who LIE, are getting hired. people, who LIE, are becoming trusted and I don't. I was honest in my entire life, and people turned away from me, because they couldn't stand it. people disliked me, because I wasn't a yesman. etc. a lot of people (not every obv) just want to hear positive things, and not the truth.

do not open up to anyone.

do not make friends with followers if you're an artist. this may sound odd, but the reason is, a lot of people will just use you as a trophy, or will get your messages out of context to hurt you as soon as you don't do something they want (free stuff, most likely).

skills don't matter. this is also a hot take, but so far, I've seen a shitton of people getting some job, just because they were friends with someone. there was no skill. and then I, with years of hard work, studying, and skills never got a chance. this is a very common phenomenon in the east. and I'm saying it as someone, who is very insecure about their own skills!

keep personal stuff (life) to yourself. this is also a very hard thing to do, if you're the type who just has to write the problems out of themselves or they'll explode. I'm not sure, what is the solution to this, a journal that noone can find, or whatever, there is no professional help where I live, so that falls out, and:

you're on your own. if you want something to be done, do it by yourself. people promised me so many fucking ass things, and in the end of the day, they kept none of it. nowadays I just know, that promises are empty.

no friendly advices to people - in the past years, I tried to help and protect people from objectively toxic ones, and it felt like I'm talking to a wall. not one person returned to toxic relationships, and while it's THEIR issue, I felt like my convincing went to trash and I wasted my time. ok then. no advices from me.

people, who first simp you, then leave you, aren't worth your time. block. same goes to any toxic person. block.

(these are only my subjective thoughts and experiences, sadly I'm negative for a reason. )

the reason why I'm sharing this, is because maybe others will be luckier in life, if they learn from it. or something.

why November 5th, and destielblr as a whole, is the most folklorically fascinating thing I've ever seen

hoo boi. I have a VERY busy weekend ahead of me and a major presentation on wednesday so this will (probably for the best tbh) be pretty brief by my standards.

first off, once again, the lore-accurate Archangel Cassiel (yes, archangel) :

Saturn, Time, Solitude & Tears

oh yeah aND THE *DEATHS OF KINGS*

....I really don't know how yall managed to recreate an entire angel from basically nothing but ok

but NOVEMBER 5th

is a WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL

because THIS

is a HOLIDAY

on the BORDER OF FALL AND WINTER

about the ANGEL OF TIME being THROWN INTO TARTARUS (yes, The Empty is literally Tartarus, no I will not elaborate, its the same thing) for the crime of FALLING IN LOVE with a SEMI-IMMORTAL, VAGUELY-HUMAN HUNTER WHO IS DESCENDED FROM *CAIN*

and over the past three years

this has evolved into the following pieces of folklore:

-when it is NOT Nov 5th, Cassiel still does his usual, literal-millenia-old duty of announcing the deaths (or disgraces) of powerful people. Dean is there too, now.

-Cassiel can tell Dean he loves him all he wants, but through some curse attributed to a cruel God and/or metanarrative forces, Dean is forever unable to say it back- however, he is able (or possibly forced) to announce Weird News Crap in what is usually Cassiel's role. I've even seen some memes that have Dean remembering every world event the "Destiel Meme" is used for as a twisted replay of the confession scene, while Cas doesn't remember any of them.

-Nov 5th seems to be a day of renewal/restarting for the fandom/meta effort to get Cas & Dean back together, but that is manifesting more & more as Cas and/or Dean THEMSELVES restarting their efforts to find each other. It even goes as far as posts talking about eating certain foods, or even leaving food out, as something akin to souling/other folkloric forms of "food for the dead", as some symbolic aid/allegiance to these two wandering spirits...

of a fallen angel and some kind of Clearly-From-The-Wild-Hunt demihuman Cain Guy....

who desperately want to find each other...

so that the angel can be freed from Tartarus/the void...

and the hunter can leave the eternal chase across the heavens and live happily on earth

(also the Hunt Guy has a brother who is SEVEN FEET TALL and MAGIC and has FUTURE SIGHT and *MOOSE ANTLERS* and drinks BLOOD. what in the aggressively nordic fresh fuck)

so um.

yeah.

yall did FOLKLORE

PEOPLE OF TUMBLR, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE *DONE A FOLKLORE*

congratulations, the latest heartbreaking seasonal time deity/wild hunt/cain tradition/star-crossed immortal lovers/midwinter mythos came from TUMBLR OF ALL PLACES

...also I will be separately posting a "folklorically-consistent" list of things to leave out for Destiel tonight and/or tomorrow night, if that interests anyone

What's the context of "my baby just cares for me (okay OH NO)"?

This one is an AU at the end of ep 6 where instead of Loki trying to stop Sylvie and starting an argument he instead decides to just stand back and let her kill HWR because that just seems like a thing she needs to do. Cos I do actually think there was nothing he could have said or done to stop her at that point, and also because I think fandom misremembers it a bit - he didn't have an alternative plan, he just said they should take a minute or two to think it over, and maybe he'd have agreed with her after that. Who knows!

Also I am not a very romantic person and while "I just want you to be okay" is a sweet sentiment, I did at some point think to myself "but what if that was actually the only thing he wanted, regardless of how much this would fuck up reality for anyone else?" So Sylvie stabs the bad guy, the multiverse happens, this is Not Good and she gets angry about him not trying to stop her (oh the irony!), and then there's some emotional shit and then they bang on HWR's desk. Because it's there and because frankly there's not enough fic where they do that (I can only think of two).

I don't know how likely I am to ever finish it, but here's a bit of it so that my time seems less wasted if I never do:

When she can make herself look up and out through the round window at the back of the room she sees that the bright braided rope of time outside is branching, fracturing, sprouting new timelines that twist around each other, crowded by so many others and looking for space to keep growing.

She says, “I don’t think that was a very good idea.”

Behind her Loki’s chair scrapes against the marble floor as he stands. She hears him approaching, unhurried, with footsteps that sound like heavier versions of her own. She stands up straight as he reaches her and she hears him speak: “It wasn’t. With him gone there’s nothing to prevent his other selves from restarting the war.”

Suddenly angry she turns on him, raising her sword as she moves. “You knew?” she hisses, her blade against his throat.

To his credit Loki stays calm. “You needed to kill him,” he says, as plainly and as evenly as if they were discussing the weather. “You’d never be able to move on otherwise.”

Sylvie lets the blade touch his skin. “Oh, and that’s more important than not letting me break the entire fucking universe, is it? You didn’t think it was worth even trying to talk me out of it?” Most of her rage is reserved for herself – she made the mistake, after all – but if he knew that this would all go to hell and didn’t make any effort to stop her then, yes, it’s his fault too.

Loki doesn’t answer right away. She assumes that he’s afraid of provoking her further, and she’s about to tell him to grow some balls and do it anyway when he draws in a slow breath and then says, “I just want… no, I need you to be okay.“

Surprise makes her shake, and she moves her sword back enough that she won’t accidentally hurt him. (If she does that then it’ll be on purpose, the way it should be.) She says, “What?” and the shake’s in her voice as well.

13 video games to get to know me

vaguely tagged by @rarmaster. Sort of pulling from an old tweet thread about this. Ish. In sort of a particular order, but don't think too much about it.

Under the cut 'cause this is long

Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword - gave me feels about time shenanigans and destiny and stepping up to the plate and waiting for the person you care about and character growth and childhood friends. Also reincarnation and the self, and are you who you think you are, or are you who you were destined to be? Very much my shit. It's my favorite Zelda game.

FFVIII - also time shenanigans and destiny and proving destiny wrong and forging your own way and making your own luck and standing up for what you believe in. Also, there is something about the fact that my disc 3 (out of 4) was broken and I had to replace it 3 times just to get past the part on the moon so I could finish the game. Definitely makes it more special I think. The patience and dedication. (Also, I know a game has wrecked me when I'm writing fanfiction for it. And then taking characters from this game and putting them in other fanfiction. (Okay, it was Kingdom Hearts so it only kind of counts.) But I definitely added Rinoa to my KH long fic and have no regrets about it.)

Kingdom Hearts II - Yeah it was only a matter of time before something KH showed up on this list. I chose KHII because it's honestly my favorite to play. It's a really good balance of mechanics, controls, and skill that I feel other KH games don't necessarily have. Plus, I mean, somewhere between here and Days, I had enough ideas to start writing a longfic that basically is the length of 4+ novels.

Dragon Age Origins - I really enjoyed the concept of starting out in different places but coming to the same result in Ostagar. I loved making the best of a shitty situation and getting to know a bunch of people who were also coming from shitty situations but somehow we all were what it took to save the world. And my choices mattered! (Well, as much as they could in a BioWare game.) Also a game I wrote fanfic for - though never finished the fanfic. But that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I think about what would've happened if all the potential Wardens had lived.

Undertale - I feel like this one speaks for itself a fair bit. Being kind. Choosing mercy. The power of friendship. (Assuming you go that route.) But also, consequences of actions. Choosing to be good. The lesbians win. Sometimes a marriage isn't recoverable. Sometimes kids are just kids. The horror I felt when I realized how the game changed based on your kill count? Yeah, definitely restarted and figured out how to do a full pacifist run. Wrote fanfiction for this fandom too. A couple of shorter one shots. Because I like operating under a "what if everyone lives" sometimes.

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - Yes, another Zelda game. Twilight Princess is very much vibes for me. Another Link who steps up to the plate even though he was just a goat farmer. Zelda trying to reconcile her past. Midna's entire fucking existence. Also, there is so much that haunts the narrative in this game if you look hard enough. I want to know more about it. I don't want to know more about it. It's perfect as it is.

Super Smash Brothers Brawl - Play Subspace Emissary. I'm begging you. Epic team ups. Character development in a fighting game. Trying to save the world from a greater evil that's destroying everything. Former enemies setting aside their differences to wreck shit together. Some of my favorite moments include Peach and her tea and then Zelda also has tea. Also Zelda, Link, and Ganondorf deciding that the Big Bad is a bigger problem than their differences. So much good stuff here.

Thrillville - This game has everything. "You've inherited a park from your crazy uncle go manage it." It's a rhythm game, a side scroller, a coaster builder, a racing game, and so much more all packed into one. I spent way too much time getting every high score for the cheerleading mini game. Also Event Horizon is the best. I go back to this game for comfort.

Yoshi's Story - This is also a N64 game. I worked very very hard to get to the end of this game while keeping all of my Yoshi's alive. (Did I absolutely reset if I died so I didn't lose the Yoshi? You bet I did as soon as I learned I could do that.) I spent a ton of time trying to figure out how to unlock everything in that game (when the internet was still new for this sort of shit) and I *still* never managed it. I tell myself one day I will, but I probably won't.

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Maybe it's cheating to say this game? It's also the newest game on here because I really focused on ones that were formative for me at a younger age. However, if there's one Zelda game I wish I could go back and play for the first time again, it's this one. That's it, that's the vibe.

Tetris 64 - I very specifically mean this one. There is something about making a square that makes my brain go BRRT. It makes happy noises. I play this game to destress. I remember racking up lines and building the 7 wonders of the world alongside my fam. It's good shit.

Shrek Super Party - Honestly, this one is about the fun memories of playing with my family. We would mimic the voices of the mirror and poke so much fun at each other while playing. We'd compete for high scores in some games, and just accept that others of us were just better at others. So so so much fun and a lot of fond memories attached to this game.

Mario Party 1 - Okay look, you're probably like, "magik, why are there not one, but TWO party games on here?" And my answer is that Mario Party 1 was the first game that my family and I played together that we actually like, worked for a common goal. (Tetris notwithstanding.) Like sure, we'd play racing games and stuff, but there was something about Mario Party when we got our 100 stars and then Bowser came to steal them and we played his map for the first time? And then Eternal Star? I have *vivid* memories of sitting on a chair with a TV tray in front of me with my food in one corner and the controller in another as I waited for my turn or mini games. And we all just sat there, playing a STORYLINE that hadn't been there until then. Except it had been? So, I mean, that is a very specific scenario to me. I cannot do that again for the first time. But that's okay.

Honorable mentions:

Mario Kart Double Dash - while this game doesn't have all my favorite Mario Kart tracks, there's something about the mechanics. Two racers, with power ups linked to racers. The ability to play two people one kart?!? Wild. The mindmeld required to do that and the experiences I had playing with my friend and sibling growing up. Also, Baby Park is insane.

Super Mario 64 - I played this game a lot with my friend as a kid. We shared a save file. My younger sibling was not a fan of seeing this game in their dreams because they watched us play it all the freaking time. We just worked to get gud and beat the game. Before school. After school. Over the summer. It was like, goals.

Mario Party 2 - Costume changes based on the worlds. That is all.

Some non-video game media that fucking rewired my brain that you should consider:

Owl House - I have not been this wrecked over a TV show in years. I have not been this wrecked over media in years. But if you haven't noticed, it's been Owl House hours on my blog for the past several weeks and that's not stopping in the near future either. But there's something about seeing myself in Eda. Along with the tight writing. The excellent magic system. The characters. The parallels. Everything.

New Who - I specifically mean doctors 9-11. Tennant was like, my favorite doctor. But 9 has some amazing episodes. And River, another of my beloveds, is primarily featured with 11.

Middlegame - Time. Loops. Siblings. TIMELOOPS. Dodger, I love her.

So You Want to Be a Wizard - Technically, I wasn't really wrecked until much later in the series, but the way magic works in this universe is fantastic. Also, I so wanted to be Nita and find a manual like she did. Alas, I did not. So instead I write my own stories.

Mistborn - Listen, you do not read all three of Era 1 in three days, make a shitton of playlists, and think about it for hours on end and not say it didn't rewire your brain. (This is currently, effectively, what I am doing with Owl House apparently.)

Arcane - Again, siblings. The vibes. Victor. The will-they-won't-they between Caitlyn and Vi. The music. The vibes.

This week on...

Ok gang. Here we go, I'm gonna start this thing in earnest.

I’m G. I'm a grown ass woman. With a house, and a dog and a husband, and a (difficult) job.

But I fucking love content. TV shows, movies, a good spotify playlist. Maybe my emotions are broken, but for the past few years, content has been the best way to feel something other than the everyday minutiae. And maybe we can thank COVID for a lot of that.

Because yo, once we went on lockdown, I just started binging. Basically, everything. While my husband was off doing his own thing (tiktok, amiright) I was watching literally EVERYTHING. And I wanted to talk about it.

So I started doing a thing. I'd rush into whatever room my husband was in and start talking at him about what I was streaming at the time. Spewing out these ridiculously terrible synopses of episodes with intricate plots, trying to boil it down so he could follow whatever it was I was ranting about because I had to express why the show was gnawing at me or making me feel shit. And most of the time he'd stare at me blankly and then chuckle.

Eventually I decided to start my rant by announcing "THIS WEEK, ON WHAT G'S WATCHING - " and bless his soul, he'd mostly tolerate my diatribes. (Around this time I was watching Fringe, and he'd know I was coming because he'd hear me scream "PREVIOUSLY ON FRINGE" about 45 minutes prior.)

At some point, I started doing it at my sister as well - this poor woman has two small babies all up in her house and I'd just be texting her about WTF was going on with my show, always announcing "this week, on what g's watching..." and every time she'd simply send back "unsubscribe."

So clearly, I hadn't found my audience. But honestly y'all, I think it's funny. And it's a way to get all of this, whatever this is, out. So I've decided maybe the best course of action is to just scream it into this dark and endless void. Maybe internet strangers will appreciate it. And maybe not. Either way, my sister will appreciate being removed from the mailing list.

All that to say: this week on what g's watching - Good Omens.

On repeat.

Am I literally in the middle of my third rewatch of the entire thing in only like, 2 weeks time? Yes. Should I be ashamed of that? Probably.

But fuck it. Season two punched me in the face and the butt and the heart and I went down a fucking rabbit hole. It may or may not be how I ended up on Tumblr (I guess I thought I was a grown ass woman). It may or may not be eating me alive.

Liking completely inappropriate memes? Check. Stumbled into some fanfiction? That's neither here nor there. Reading long-winded posts about whether it was Aziraphale's fault or Crowley's fault, wherein everyone has their own tinfoil-hat theory? Oh yeah. I'm in deep, folks.

I'm not gonna lie, it usually doesn't get this bad. I watched the entirety of Supernatural (all the while yelling "why are they so obsessed with each other? I don't understand why I'm still watching this!" through FIFTEEN goddamn seasons) and even still, I didn't get pulled in like this. And that fandom is so crazy.

At the time I finished Supernatural, I thought it'd be my comfort show, and I restarted it. But, just kidding.

Good Omens has taken over literally everything.

So to the actual point. A ridiculous synopsis of season 2 because I can't get it out of my goddamn brain:

A sweet looking, chubby tow-headed (kind of former? retired?) angel that owns a bookshop wherein no books are ever sold, Aziraphale, and his gorgeous, hip-swiveling (retired? disgraced?) demon companion (friend? best friend? partner?) Crowley stalk around their London neighborhood hiding a dick-faced archangel who can't remember why he is such a dick-face, from both heaven and hell, while meddling in the love lives of other shop owners and talking PAST each other about what the eff is ACTUALLY going on, and ALSO flashing back to 6,000 years worth of their own ridiculously adorable and infuriating interactions.

It's a fucking love story, kids. In the worst and most beautiful ways possible. And I just. can't.

And so. I guess, here we are? This may or may not turn into anything. But for now. Shouting into the void…

tagged by the lovely @smittenskitten

8 Shows To Get To Know Me:

fuck okay lemme break this down and y’all can’t fucking judge me for NOTHING

Glee

*fucking sigh* 

LOOK I’m not happy about this shit either but if we gotta be real I’ma be real and say yeah, I was a gleek (god saying that makes me wanna die, a piece of my soul shriveled fuck) when I was in high school it was a time okay I’m putting it on the list because glee was the reason I even logged on tumblr for the first time glee was one of those shows that was extremely formative to my fandom experience and fandom development during those late teen years. My original tumblr blog was dedicated to glee and eventually to manga/anime/comics and then I dipped for a bit and came back to tumblr blah blah blah glee was the start of my tumblr experience but also was the first time I ever actively engaged in a ship war (Which was STUPID i was so STUPID) like before I was a lurker but glee was the first show I openly participated in fandom 

and it’s a dumb show, it’s a bad show, it has some shining moments but lordly it was a mess and I was so invested in Britanna and Klaine at the beginning but by the end I was like they should NOT be together and honestly proud of myself for that it showed ~growth~ I also dropped the show idk mid-s4? Glee was the show that made me learn to drop things and not get caught up in sunk cost fallacy, if you’re not happy watching something, drop it. 

Inu-yasha

THIS FUCKING SHOW this show was my first taste of any fandom ever I was still in elementary school and honestly way to young to be watching this shit but my GOD did I eat this shit up like nom nom nom it was so good hit all the fantasy action points it basically created the template for what I like in media: romance, action, adventure, friendships, fantasy 

I can still hear that adult swim commercial for the series in my head, one of the original memes (also screw kikyo still can’t stand her ass)

Yugioh

LISTEN this is a comfort show I love it to pieces Yugioh the abridged series is a fucking masterpiece I’ve rewatched this show so many times b/c it’s just fucking fun it makes NO SENSE why are they all so serious about ~children’s card games~ why does no one go to school why does grandpa have a god damn stroke after losing one card game why does joey sound like that it’s hilarious the shadow realm gaslit an entire generation of children I love every second of it 

RUN BTS

uuuuuh, is this cheating? fuck it I don’t care, you can’t control my shit as they say idk I love BTS I love their run episodes when I want to relax, chill and not think and laugh for a bit I throw the tomato song one on lol the memes that come out of every episode are worth it for that alone

Kinnporsche 

okay here’s what y’all came here to see lmao Kinnporsche really grabbed my ass and slapped it like wtf I wasn’t expecting to get so invested in this show tbh b/c like I started watching BLs again but the ones I had watched from Thailand hadn’t GRABBED me they all ranged at the time from okay but wouldn’t watch again (Until We Meet Again, 1000 Stars) to boring-dropped it (Fish Upon a Sky, 2gether, Lovely Writer) the ones I had liked were mostly Korean and Taiwanese offerings (HiStory Trapped, Love is Science, We Best Love (seasons 1 AND 2 fight me), Be Loved: In House, You Make Me Dance, the one Korean assassin one). 

So like, I saw the trailer for KP and was like, oh that looks different and interesting from other Thai BL and then I saw it was canceled and was confuse. Then I saw it was un-cancelled and was MORE confused I was like is this show coming out or nah? But it was and I was like, sure why not? And I had just restarted using tumblr again and then the show started and the first episode HIT SO HARD and I was like “omg actual cinematography, actual camera framing, actual directing, actual locations, actual physical movement of the cast and the story, a larger story at play, COSTUMES” bitch I was hooked and I’m probably bias but KP is still the best conceptually executed Thai BL imo like sometimes I see posts about the cinematography of other Thai BL and it’s just pictures of two chars standing in a mid-lit room and I’m just like, god I’m a snobby ass bitch lemme leave lol 

KP isn’t perfect, there are issues with the plot at times, but like, there’s issues with the plot! Not the sound (rip LITA I still love you), or the lighting, or the editing, or the direction. The secondary cast actually feels like a cast rather than extras to fill out the cast or pad for time there’s like next to no filler in the show which is such a rarity (imo) for Thai BL. 

Love Between Devil and Fairy 

To me this show was peak fantasy epic romance I just love it to pieces, the costumes are to die for I wish America made more epic romances like this that really embrace fantasy, romance, and action one thing I really love about C-Dramas is they embrace romance with a certain sincerity that is missing from American dramas and I think it’s a shame 

I’m cheating that’s all I got in me I don’t watch a ton of TV shows and the ones I do I’m picky about so it’s hard to pick like a top anything lol but I think these ones describe me pretty well so

Hey y’all know how I said a day or two ago(haha what’s time?) how I needed to remind myself I have too many WIPs? Because I was trying to be a reasonable human being? And act like I’d be responsible rather than a feral WIP hoarder?

Yeah toss that rightttt out of a five story window. Through mixed waves of nostalgia, excitement, and the fact that I’ve become a far better fanfic writer compared to my FF.net days(shudders) I’m thinking of returning to a fandom. Which, I think might have been my first ever fandom? The first one I ever actively tried to make stuff for.

The stuff wasn’t awesome lmao I can look back and laugh at it but damn old me wtf were you ON—

Point is, I’m thinking of dragging up and redoing some of my old old old stories. Which, makes me really excited. It’d be awesome to give something I really love a new coat of paint, y’know? I also know though that - or I think at least - not a ton of my mutuals are involved in this fandom. Wouldn’t blame you, it’s a long-lived one that’s already been through one reboot(which I admit, I side eye it. Just a bit.)

That being said, I’m gonna talk more about my plans for the stories under here so I don’t spam my mutuals/friends with a fandom they aren’t in. If you wanna check em out, you know where to click, and know I’m grateful for whoever wants to listen to a rabid lil writer like me 💜

Love y’all

SO LEGO NINJAGO RIGHT ->

Holy SHIT I loved that series. I still love that series. Honestly though I loved the first season of it, with the Serpentine tribes, more than the other seasons but even the other seasons were fuckin’ GREAT.

I always wanted to add a little more mystic-ness to the story though. Like, looking through my old stuff, I definitely had great ideas and never pulled them off.

That stops today. I’ve grown as a writer! I know proper grammar now! I know how to make awesome plot lines and cool OCs! I GOT THIS!!

One of the stories was a Ninjago-Maximum Ride crossover, which I think I’m gonna revamp entirely. Toss out the old and put in the new with a addition of witchcraft, worldbuilding, and me finally screaming about how in canon the Serpentine were heavily fucked over time and time again. For real, someone give me permission to go off. I’ll holler like a dog.

Second story was introducing a group of humanized Phoenixes and not much else lmao. Never got as far as the first chapter of Nya joining the group, would need also to be restarted because of the simple fact that it never grew past that point.

The third story which was involving a group of serial killers(made after my journey through Creepypasta woods) and the fourth which had dragons from a different universe(which were the girls from House of Anubis, stolen lol) will both just…be put away for good. I’m not sure I wanna doing these back, both for now or forever. I’m glad for them, but perhaps those sleeping dogs can simply rest.

Also I’m gonna outright bitch now because I was wrong I can’t hold it in I don’t need permission. What the hell. What the hell was that thing they did in the first season. The Serpentine were literally locked up alive underground, no way of escape. Pythor had to cannibalize his own people. He became the last of his kind. Isn’t that genocide? That was a whole tribe except for one dude wiped out that is fucking tragic. He had every right to go nuts I cannot believe that was included in episode FOUR of a CHILDRENS SHOW.

I love this series.

so there’s this thing I do with books, as I was explaining to my bestie the other day -- I get into such a funk about some of them ending, that I’ll essentially...put off finishing them. Realise I’ve got three chapters left and then shelve it for a month, then pick it up again...repeat. Repeat. Repeat. For years at a time, even.

(I am not joking: myself and a dear friend were head over heels fangirls for Garth Nix’s Keys to the Kingdom series...I bought the final book, Lord Sunday, the literal day it was released (1 Feb 2010 in Oz, ftr)...and I haven’t read a single word of it to this day. I keep restarting from the first book, and just...not wanting it to be over. Still. To add pathos to the pathetic, said friend and I are no longer in touch at all, no less.)

...I’m caught up in those same kinda feelings this morning/tonight, plus extreme excitement, curiosity that killed the entire felidae family, nevermind just the cat, plus misery that we’re going to have to wait for so long and the fandom will doubtlessly go back to sleep (fuck the neckbeards and the haters, man, I have been having the time of my life for the last month and a bit because my eternal fandom is awake and it is beautiful), plus...IDK what my feelings actually are doing at all, anymore? And I just. I want to watch the finale right now. Now now now. But not at all. But now.

(Impatient, horrifically inquisitive, and finifugal; aka, I’m a not-so-secret Noldo. give me all the majesty and beauty, give it to me without end, and give it to me now.)

"911, What's Your Emergency?"

Day No: 11 Prompt: Self-Done First Aid Fandom: Murdoch Mysteries Medium: fic Trigger Warnings: mentions of a past car accident, somewhat graphic description of injuries SFW

When she first tried moving, Julia cried out in pain.

It wasn't as painful as childbirth, but she hadn't experience anything painful since the car crash after 48 hours at residency. Two broken ribs, shattered thigh bone, grade b concussion. She was out for months, and they made her restart the entire stupid thing after she healed and came back. Back at zero. Bastards. One of the reasons she didn’t feel guilty about not staying at the hospitals to practice.

Right now, there was sharp pains going up and down her right arm. Forcing herself awake, to see what was wrong, she spotted what the problem was quite clearly. Her lower arm had a break through her ulna and radius. Possibly in two different areas. Her upper arm had blood gushing out of a deep wound, likely caused by the metal laying at her side. She's pretty sure it was her blood. "Fuck," she muttered, sitting up. A wave of dizziness came and took a minute to leave. She looked behind her and saw a decent amount of blood on the ground where her arm had been. "Right, first things first, stop the bleeding," she instructed herself. The room she had been thrown into was half trashed from the destruction caused by Sally's plan. At least Eva, who had been planning on killing her, again, was still out cold. If she wasn't bleeding at a steady rate, she would have checked her and made sure she couldn’t do anything until someone came. Instead, she was going to have to find something to wrap her arm and stay away. Most of the shelves were broken, and instead of landing in a nice bathroom or the supply closet, it was some sort of conference room. "This is a bloody joke," she said, feeling more coming out. Wishing she had worn a belt today, her left hand came up to apply pressure so she could move, maybe. "All right, Health and Safety, hopefully someone was keeping up to date for your sake." The obvious answer was over by the cabinets that likely held food and small things for meetings. Those had mostly been knocked over by the force. Several were broken open. The smell of coffee grounds was nice, as she tried getting closer to the mess. Sugar, salt, creamers mixed and made her steps crunch. Nothing was on the ground to indicate a first aid kit had been thrown out. Her hand had to be unclamped from its position to start pulling at the rest of the cabinets. There were foam cups, plates and plastic utensils. Someone's left behind mugs and Tupperware. A roll of duct tape. Which she noted as that could be a possibility. There were loads of napkins that hadn't gotten covered with anything. After checking the last of the cabinets and making sure it wasn't in the rubble, she sighed. Grabbing several of the napkins, she placed them on the wound. The sticking wasn't good, as it would be hell to get off, but it was better than merely putting the duct tape on. Which, after finding the edge and managing to start ripping it with her teeth, she wrapped around her arm as tight as she thought safe. "Part one done," she said. She hadn't a jacket today, it being too warm. Julia was just coming across multiple points of 'need to be prepared more than I am'. Right now, the best thing to do for the broken part was to just hold it close to her body. And sit back down. Far, far away from Eva. Hopefully, someone would show before she woke up.

Restarted RDR2 for the first time since 2019 which is just buck fucking wild cause it's the entire reason i joined tumblr and it really sent me into fandom hell and I just

Fuck man, I MISSED it. Best part is that I still have an encyclopedic knowledge of it. Still easily my favorite game ever, even after I stopped fixating on it. I miss these goddamn cowboys.