#reason my stories are so realistic is because I do a lot of research and use the correct terms of the place or the time
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Lesson 1: "White Man Painted Black"?
Okay, I recognize that this is a strong foot to step off on! But! If you learn nothing else from this series, if you decide for whatever reason to forsake me: this is the ONE perspective I'd like you to take away!
You may have heard this quote before, when Black fans deride a character design as 'a white man with the brown bucket tool'. On its face, it means exactly what was said. But specifically, what it means is that we recognize that whomever designed the character drew the way they normally draw for a 'default' character in their mind- default usually meaning White/Eurocentric features- and they added a shade of brown within the line art to make that character now 'Black'.
Now if you're feeling defensive, wait just a moment! This discomfort is not inherently a bad thing!
I'm going to use both a 'real world' example first, to show you what your Black fans and peers are seeing, and perhaps you will also understand our discomfort!
(if anyone was curious, my folder for this lesson is titled 'brad' lmao and you'll see why)
(I'll have y'all know that I actually worked very hard to make Blackface Brad look mildly presentable lmao I'm sorry, I'm wheezing, I can hardly breathe looking at him 🤣)
You see how, despite knowing where this was going, and using one of the darkest shades of brown in my Skin Tones arsenal, you still know that that's Brad Pitt? That nothing about his hair texture, his lips, his nose, or really anything other than the palette change... changed? And you can still see that?
It's incredibly hurtful to be told that that's supposed to be you. You know it's not, you know why it's not, but rather than hearing how it makes you feel unseen and what they could do to be better (since they wanted to draw a Black character!), the artist lashes out at you.
And as an artist, you might have worked VERY HARD to do this! That might be a real handsome guy you drew!! But... is he really Black? Did you walk into it with the intention, that you were drawing a Black Character, or did you draw a character that just happened to be Black? It seems like a silly thing, but it matters!
Okay. I just finished laughing over Brad. Now let's get into some more perspective changes:
Now, imagine you drew a character. You want to make her Black, so you change the hair and skin colors. All right! You have your Black character... right?
Changed ONE feature about her? (You should obviously change more than one feature, but let's just go with the simplified example.)
What if, instead of just changing her palette, we changed her:
Hair?
There isn't nearly enough time in the world, let alone in this little scribble and blurb, for me to describe the IMPORTANCE of Black hair in Black character design. There are so many ways to do curls, afros, braids, twists, locs, SO MANY HAIRSTYLES!! Get used to searching in the 3C-4C hair textures!!!! I plan on doing an entire lesson or two on hair alone, but suffice it to say, Hair Texture is thee BIGGEST giveaway that you 'painted a white person Black'- from cartoon styles to realistic! It reveals itself in your writing as well- just based on how your character takes care of their hair, how your describe the texture, how other people might perceive it... it lets me know just how much research was done. Because we can have straight hair! But again, that's a conversation for a whole 'nother lesson so- come back later 👀?
Lips?
I love our lips, I really do. There's a long history of shaming Black women in particular for the way our lips look. So when I see them done in all their glory, it makes me very happy. Two-toned lips vary in shade and intensity, so make sure you're using references if you want to be 'realistic', but it doesn't have to be that hard. Even a little subtle shift like this in the design/story description lets me know that a creator was thinking about me.
Nose?
One thing I've noticed ever since I starting drawing is that... people in a lot of mangas/manhwas barely have noses! I admit, out of all the features on the face, the nose isn't the most important. I think they should be, especially when you want to emphasize that your characters look different! People have different types of noses! I especially want to gear this towards those with a goal of drawing realistic portraits and the like- there, the nose is ANOTHER dead giveaway. There are Black people with aquiline and straight noses- we aren't a monolith- but is that why you drew it? Consider why you went for that nose specifically. That's part of the intent, in all this!
Now, you might be looking at me and going "Ice... this is just character design". To which my answer is: Yes! It is! It feels so basic, and yet if you ask your Black friends/peers how often they've come across this feeling of not being properly drawn/written, from fanart to professionally produced works, it's unfortunately common despite how simple of a concept it is.
I hope that you can walk away from my first lil lesson with new eyes. Remember, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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Was reading through your torture tag and noticed a lot of stuff that was being said seemed to contradict things that were said on the scripttorture blog... do you have any suggestions on how to clear things up? Im not sure which things to trust
And you're asking us, because they've posted once in the last two years?
I'll admit, I have a fairly low opinion of them, and that's not directly their fault. For years, one of their fans, would regularly send some pretty incendiary asks our way. In fact, some of the less hostile ones were answered, and may be the posts you were looking at. Understandably, the ones simply accusing us of being torture apologists, demanding we redirect all our asks to their blog, or insisted that we should sit down and shut up, did not make the cut. With that in mind, please understand, I'm not going to go digging through their blog to refresh my memory, so some of this might be slightly skewed by the aforementioned deranged fan.
Look for the blog that does not constantly contradict or misrepresent their authoritative sources. Which is to say, if you actually pay attention to Shane O'Mara's work, it's basically what we've been saying all along.
If you're unfamiliar, O'Mara is a Neurologist who was (last I time I checked) working at Trinity College Dublin. He published a, frankly fascinating piece, called, Why Torture Doesn't Work, in which, he set about trying to answer why torture is an ineffective tool for intelligence gathering. O'Mara also had the misfortune of being the only expert who said anything close to the perspective Scripttorture wanted on torture.
An open secret about torture is that it is completely worthless for getting accurate information. This has been widely understood for centuries, if not millennia. O'Mara's question was, “why?”
It turns out, that the neurochemical trauma associated with torture, seriously interferes with your ability to accurately access information. For example: If you're being tortured, you can't tell your torturer where you planted the ticking bomb, because your brain literally can't access those memories.
Torture is evil. Yeah. No shit.
And, this is where ScriptTorture stops. “Torture is bad,” and Jack Bauer is an incredibly unrealistic fantasy, end of story.
Except, this is not the end of this.
Now, generally speaking, I don't blame anyone who wants to get off the ride here. Torture is an unpleasant subject, and wanting to stop at, “oh, it's evil,” is entirely reasonable... unless you want to write on the subject, or if you do political analysis and need to understand why people break out the torture implements.
More than that, this is where my academic background in political science actually comes into play. I'm not saying this as an Eagle Scout who had a couple overly enthusiastic hand to hand instructors when I was a kid. This is (part of) what I studied in college, and I have kept an eye on it since then.
If torture didn't work, you wouldn't see state-sponsored torture pop up repeatedly throughout history. It would not be one of the favorite tools of dictators and despots. However, because it does, and it is, simply saying, “it doesn't work,” isn't instructive or meaningful because it's clearly untrue. Someone is finding value in this, so it becomes important to understand what they are doing, and why they are doing it.
When you torture someone, the information they provide is basically madlibs of whatever leaked through their brain. They want the pain and stress to stop, and they'll say anything they can to make that happen. That often takes the form of what they think their torturer wants to hear. O'Mara's research does explain why they don't simply cough up the truth.
So, why do it?
Torture is a very labor intensive process. You (as an individual) can't, realistically, torture multiple victims at a time, and it is a very drawn out process. Some elements can be automated, your torturer doesn't need to be present at every moment, but they're going to spend hours, if not days, working on one victim. Worse, this is actually a technical profession. It's not like you can just pull in anyone off the street and get the results you want. (Though, technically, this doesn't seem to be as true, however, amateurs do have a shocking capacity to screw up torture. So, the point remains valid.)
The value of torture has almost nothing to do with the victim. It's about the message it sends to everyone else.
Torture is about mass coercion of the population. When you are the state (meaning, the government), and you torture someone, you are telling your citizens that you are willing to do the same to them, if they oppose you.
State-sponsored torture is specifically a tool to suppress political engagement. It is, quite literally, state-sponsored, domestic terrorism.
This even holds true in cases where the state employs torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. The message sent into the general population is that dissent of any kind will not be tolerated, and that the state has the willingness and power to turn these tools on you if you draw their ire.
I get that this is outside of ScriptTorture's area of expertise, and in fairness, I probably would not have studied this with any intensity, if I hadn't taken multiple classes on revolutionary theory.
Torture from private organizations (which is to say, organized crime, and religious institutions, though cults and some other groups might fit this description as well), follows roughly similar patterns. These tend to do the same things, discouraging dissent, and establishing the organization as having power over the population (or community.) (The technical term would be to “establish capacity.” Which is to say, the organization's capacity to enforce its will. The same term applies to states, though in those cases, the state's capacity is often overestimated by its population. It's only when it starts to falter, for example through military defeats or serious civil unrest, that they really need the capacity boosting part of this equation.)
Zealotry or stupidity can create situations where you have a torturer (or, more likely, someone in a position of power ordering the torture) who believes that it is effectively compelling the truth from the victim. This (or amateurs) can easily lead into a distinct problem, which is that all of this has diminishing returns. Torture one person, and you send a loud, clear message. Torture ten, and all you've added to it is that you're willing to keep going. However, as you start stacking up the victims, you do start sending a new message to your enemies, that being, you're going to get to them sooner or later so it's in their best interest to respond now, mobilize and retaliate proactively, before you get to them. This means that a state which leans heavily on torture can easily instigate the civil unrest that exposes their limited capacity leading to a political death spiral. Alternately, if the state does have the capacity to put down the resulting unrest, it further reinforces their position (which does happen with depressing frequency in the real world.)
You're also going to create new enemies in the friends, family, and loved ones, of the people you tortured. This means that any organization that relies on extensive use of torture will, eventually, start tying a noose around its own neck. (Granted, there are a lot of social dynamics that I'm skimming over here, so it's not exactly as simple as “if the state tortures lots of people, it will result in increasing unrest.”)
If you want a partial citation for the above, you can (ironically) find it in a podcast interview with Shane O'Mara, when he explained why torture has been employed repeatedly through history. (Specifically I think it was episode 15 of Your Welcome, by Michael Malice. Though, I'm not 100% sure off hand.) Though that doesn't cover some of the more in depth elements I just discussed. Some of this is coming from a textbook on revolutionary theory I can't locate (it disappeared in a move a few years back.) Though that was more interested in the general structure of a state destabilizing into internecine conflict. Ironically, my preferred citation on torture, Fear up Harsh by Tony Lagouranis is mostly uninformative in this case, because his experiences were on the ground, rather than from a structural understanding of what his job was really doing. However, he does illustrate my comment about amateurs making even more of a mess, both through personal experiences with a few, and also through the eventual trajectory of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.
But of course, torture is evil... again, no shit. Was that really a question? And, I'm apparently a torture apologist for having a structural understanding of why evil people do evil things. Cool. Evil people don't do evil things because they're evil, they do them because they gain some tangible benefit from those acts, and they do not care about the consequences to anyone else. If you ask someone, “why do people do this?” and their answer is, “it's simple; they're evil,” that person is lying. They may be lying to themselves, but they are lying to you.
Why do people use torture? It's a lot more complicated, and unpleasant, than you'd expect at a simple overview.
-Starke
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So yeah, I finished the drawing of Asha's redesign from Wish :D, maybe I'll make some changes in the future, but I'm happy to have finished it, it should be noted that I haven't seen the movie. , so I can't give my opinion on it yet, but I found it very interesting that their fandom is mainly made up of people who rewrote or made their own version of the movie, they are all very creative and it got me out of an artistic block. that I had a few months ago, but above all I found the rewriting of @annymation which is the one I have been most hooked on, so I wanted to do some redesigns of the characters coming out of its rewriting, that's why everything that has to do with the story of this version of Asha, as well as her personality and her world on which I base my drawing are the ideas and work of this account: @annymation
I'm just making a drawing of her character and how I would design her as well as sharing part of the process I had to do to draw her because, why not?
BOARD:
The first thing I had to do was put together a table full of references that reminded me of the character and things that I would like to add to her design, so I used milanote to do it:
-Looked for some Asha's concept art and save the ones I liked the most, and add the main colors that I used in the design.
-I also created notes to write down the personality of the character and some of his data to have a better guide, I did a little research and found publications that talked a lot about Asha's discarded designs and how Disney workers had put that she had tribe ancestry Amazigh on his mother's side and since his father was from the Iberian Peninsula, that's why the next thing I wanted to do is research more about their culture.
-I am not an expert on this topic, nor do I belong to the cultures from which Asha has ancestry, so you can comment on any correction regarding this topic, I wanted to implement details of this culture to her design and I would really like to give a correct representation :)
HAIRSTYLE
Continuing with the theme, I saw that the hairstyles in the Amazigh culture mostly had this type of colorful decorations on their braids and dreadlocks, that's why I also posted these reference photos for Asha's hairstyle.
-Finally I decided that Asha would not have all her hair full of braids or dreadlocks, but only a few accompanied by these decorations with a great variation of colors, although it was fun to sketch the many hairstyle options that I had in mind based on these concept art and other photos that I had saved
TATTOOS:
-Another detail that I liked was giving Asha some tattoos with designs from the Amazigh culture, because I saw that it was quite common for women to get them, the tattoo on her forehead is a symbol of protection against bad influences, that's why the The middle symbol is responsible for deflecting it in the 4 directions, I also added a similar one in Asha's right hand.
ASTROLOGY AND THE SPACE:
-An important part of Asha's rewrite is her knowledge of astronomy inherited from her father, especially with the stars for obvious reasons xd, so in addition to adding constellations to her dresses, research the meaning (or something like that) of the planets. Only 3 really reminded me of the character, which were:
-Mars: Symbolization of the internal conquering function of moving forward, independent, self-determined, enduring failures with new energy, courage and energy to fight for your desires.
-Saturn: Maturity, effort to solidly build realistic criteria, frustrations are transformed into objectives to continue growing, critical and realistic, far from getting frustrated when an objective does not work, you strive to move forward and obtain even more resistant and solid achievements, perseverance , and tenacity (I feel like yhis it the most similar to Asha :D)
-Moon: protective role, feeling very vulnerable outside your known areas, feeling of security with your ties, importance of family ties.
The one that reminded me the most of Asha was Saturn, that's why I drew those Saturn-shaped earrings :).
SUITS:
I looked for references and placed some on milanote, I noticed that the concept art was mainly divided into whether the dresses have lilac colors or warm colors, I decided to draw 2 models based on the discarded designs, although at first I thought of using only one color palette lilac and bluish, I realized that the reddish colors of her dress reminded me of Mars which has certain meanings that in my opinion coincide with Asha's personality. In the end I didn't decide what wardrobe she would primarily have 😅, but I like to think that in this version of Wish, Asha would have wardrobe and hairstyle changes like in some older Disney movies.
-These are some of the concepts that I mainly used for my version of the dresses
FINAL COMMENTS:
I am satisfied with the result, it was fun to make all this, although what I researched mostly seems little, it actually cost me several hours and I did it at night, so as a funny fact the next day I was explaining all this information to my mother and I felt like I looked like that:
(Make this drawing was so funny LMAO)
(Apologies if there are errors in my writing, English is not my first language and my writing is very basic)
#wish asha#wish movie#wish 2023#disney wish#wishrewrite#wish rewrite#redesign#asha#sketch#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#artwork#my art#illustration#drawing#design#disney#my draws#digital painting#digital drawing#digital illustration#artist#wish disney#wish#queen amaya#wish star#magnifico wish#magnifico x amaya#king magnifico
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I'm not done with the episode yet but while I screw up my courage I'm gonna tell a fun lil story from my days of Mammalogy class that is. Uh. Relevant.
My professor studied rodents mostly. That's where a lot of money is in the Midwest, learning about rodents so that people can keep them away better. Much of his work revolved around setting out little live traps in different areas and with different kinds of bait, recording what came in, and letting it go afterwards.
Of course lots of things eat mice, so he often had problems with weasels or cats or the like finding the traps before he could get to them and eating the mouse he wanted to research. He had a few workarounds for those.
But this one time, nothing he did seemed to work. Even surrounding them in mesh so small, that if he made it any smaller the mice themselves couldn't get through. Something kept finding a way into the traps and eating his mice.
So all he could do was check the traps more often in the hope that he'd get some data before the trap thief ate it all. One of those days he was on his trap route and he heard a weird sound he didn't recognize immediately.
It was a chipmunk, chucking at him to leave its territory. The reason he hadn't recognized it was because it was muffled in a weird way.
By the leg of a mouse sticking out of its mouth.
So, uh. @quiddie I don't know if you intended this to be realistic but yes chipmunks can and absolutely will be carnivorous given the opportunity.
EDIT: THESE WERE NORMAL, NON-PARASITIC NON-DISEASED NON-LEECH CHIPMUNKS. In MINNESOTA.
#my posts#dimension 20#d20 spoilers#burrow's end#burrows end#burrows end spoilers#when it smiled i immediately flashed back to this story#anyway ive got my courage up BACK INTO THE FRAY#50#100
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Do you have any tips/guides for writing abusive parents? How they act, and how a fight where they lash out at their child would be? I’m writing a story in which one of the main characters grows up with abusive parents that mistreat her because she doesn’t fit into society’s definition of ‘normal’ (they basically see her as a monster in the literal meaning of the word), and at one point they have a fight because the parents find out that she’s kept a secret close friendship from them for several years, and they snap at her for going behind their backs (despite the parents not really caring about her and what she’s up to normally) while simultaneously being skeptical of their friendship, what it entails, and what being friends with them child says about the friend.
The problem is that no matter how I try to write the scene, it feels dramatized, if that makes sense. I get the feeling that it becomes unrealistic or stereotypical, especially since I know that in abusive households, a lot of the aggression and communication happens without words. I’ve tried researching a bit, but I struggle to find anything that’s relevant, and my childhood struggles were (luckily) not related to abusive parents, so I don’t have many experiences to use as reference when writing.
Resources And Advice For Writing Abusive Parents
Your story sounds really intriguing! I don't have personal experience with this but I asked around and did some research, and I uncovered a lot of interesting facts. If just been looking for a bit of advice/resources, in which case you can scroll straight to the bottom of the blog where I have some resources and niche advice for you.
But, if you, or any other reader for that matter, needs general help in writing abusive parental figures, here is everything I've uncovered thus far.
Understand The Abuser
Most of the blogs I read stated it's important to first understand your abuser. While not excusing the behaviour, understanding the motivations behind the abuser's actions can make your portrayal more nuanced. Abusers often have their own traumas or issues.
Abusive parents can emerge from a variety of traumatic backgrounds, each influencing their behaviour in distinct ways.
Some may have experienced abuse themselves, perpetuating a cycle they learned as children. Others might grapple with deep-seated insecurities, projecting their fears onto their children in an attempt to regain control. Understanding the diverse motivations behind abusive behaviour allows you to create a more authentic and layered portrayal of your characters.
You mentioned your character's parents mistreat her because she doesn't fit in the social norm, so start with figuring out why they're behaving this way. More often than not parental abusers abuse their children because they think they're 'saving' their child from something.
This is a common trend in female relationships, i.e the mother will abuse her daughter in an attempt to 'protect' her from what the mother faced. A mother who faced fatphobia might become an almond mom, etc.
The Motive
Understanding their motive will help you build a reason for their abuse, and then you can create realistic reactions based on that.
Let's continue with the almond mom example. Now, the mother might presume by verbally abusing her daughters and telling them to look/eat a certain way she shelters them from ever having to face this from other people.
If the mother's purpose is to ensure her daughter doesn't gain weight then she would likely have a more subtle abuse style.
So rather than having the mother snatch away the daughter's food in public and eat it for herself, the mother would take her daughter to a food court and fish out veggie bags from her purse claiming that is their lunch.
Maybe she constantly checks the daughter's weight and takes away certain food privileges (carbs/sugar) depending on the changes.
First, figure this out, or if you're having a hard time, you could tell me their motive and I'll help you with some realistic reactions/abuse tactics.
Complex Relationships
One important thing to understand about abusive parents is that at the end of the day. As children, we naturally crave parental approval, an instinct deeply embedded in our emotional fabric. This yearning persists even when we recognize the toxicity of the relationship. The deprivation of affection intensifies our desire for it, leading to a complex interplay of emotions.
In the context of your narrative, consider how your character might unconsciously seek their parents' approval despite the abusive dynamics. The power dynamics are not solely physical; emotional manipulation plays a significant role. An abusive parent's disapproval, expressed through statements like being disappointed or claiming their actions are for the child's benefit, can profoundly affect the abused child.
Perhaps their new friend is teaching them to detach from this mindset, something the parents deeply dislike and thus they want to distance your character from this friend to reinstate their control.
The Emotional Turmoil That Comes With It
Incorporating subtle cues to showcase your character's emotional turmoil can add layers to their experience of abuse. Consider a poignant example: your character choosing to wear a hoodie as a shield against the verbal assaults from their mother.
Perhaps on a day when they wore a hoodie, their mother made a disparaging comment, implying that concealing certain features made them appear more "normal." This traumatic incident could prompt your character to adopt hoodies as a protective barrier against the verbal onslaught, highlighting the lasting impact of emotional abuse.
Abuse vs Negligence
Exploring the nuances between abuse and negligence is crucial for creating a realistic portrayal of an abusive household. While physical and verbal abuse may be more visibly evident, neglect can be equally damaging, leaving lasting scars on a child's psyche.
Negligence encompasses a range of behaviours where parents fail to fulfil their responsibilities. This could involve emotional neglect, where a child's emotional needs are consistently ignored or dismissed. It might manifest as a lack of guidance, support, or affection, creating an environment where the child feels invisible or unimportant.
Moreover, neglect can extend to physical care, where parents neglect their child's basic needs, such as nutrition, hygiene, or medical attention. This form of neglect can have severe consequences on a child's health and well-being.
In your story, consider how neglectful behaviour intertwines with the abusive elements. Maybe the parents, consumed by their own issues, consistently overlook your character's struggles, reinforcing a sense of isolation and abandonment.
This interplay between neglect and abuse can deepen the emotional impact on your character and provide a more comprehensive portrayal of their traumatic experiences. It can also help you build a more meaningful tie with this friend. Maybe your character befriended this friend at a time when they felt abandoned and rejected by everyone, including those who were supposed to care for them the most.
Manipulation
In the realm of abuse and negligence, manipulation becomes a powerful tool that abusers often wield to maintain control. It's essential to recognize the subtle ways in which manipulation seeps into the dynamics of an abusive relationship.
Manipulation in neglectful situations might involve gaslighting, where the parents distort the child's reality or dismiss their feelings and experiences. This psychological manipulation can make the child doubt their perceptions and question the validity of their emotions, further intensifying the emotional toll.
Abusers may use manipulation as a means to deflect responsibility, shifting the blame onto the child for their own neglectful behaviours. This can create a warped sense of guilt and shame within the child, fostering a belief that they are somehow responsible for the inadequate care they receive.
In your narrative, explore how manipulation intertwines with neglect. Perhaps the parents employ manipulative tactics to downplay the severity of their neglectful actions, creating a distorted narrative that serves their agenda. This manipulation can deepen the emotional trauma experienced by your character, adding layers to their complex relationship with their parents.
General Resources
Here are curated resources to aid you in portraying the complexities of abusive dynamics and crafting a scene that resonates truthfully:
Movies:
Precious (2009): A poignant exploration of abuse and resilience.
Sleepers (1996): Delves into the impact of childhood trauma.
Books:
The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls: A memoir unravelling the intricacies of challenging family dynamics.
The Color Purple by Alice Walker: A powerful narrative addressing abuse and empowerment.
Real-Life Stories:
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): Offers survivor stories and resources.
Domestic Violence Hotline: Real-life narratives and support.
Online Articles:
Psychology Today: A wealth of articles dissecting the nuances of abusive relationships.
National Domestic Violence Hotline Blog: Real stories and insightful perspectives.
Approach these resources with sensitivity, understanding that the subject matter can be triggering. Always prioritize your mental health and well-being while navigating the intense world of abusive relationships in your writing journey.
Resources Specific To Your Question
My main advice would be to read personal accounts or case studies of individuals who have experienced abuse. This doesn't have to be real people, it can also be fictional characters. One character who comes to mind is Rapunzel.
Hear me out—just like your character Rapunzel meets Flynn who is someone her mother does not like. The ending of Tangled is a scene that comes to mind. You mentioned a fear of seeming too dramatic, but you could showcase the parents suddenly showing their 'true colours' in order to reinstate control over their child.
This can either backfire and the child realises it's now or never, they need to take a stand, or the child is terrified of the repercussions and gives in. Maybe you could write things like 'and suddenly, she was a five-year-old again, with tears and snot racing down her face as she begged her parents to simply look at her.'
I hope this blog on Resources And Advice For Writing Abusive Parents will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.
Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks?
Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and publishing tips for authors every Monday and Thursday! And don’t forget to head over to my TikTok and Instagram profiles @hayatheauthor to learn more about my WIP and writing journey!
#hayatheauthor#haya's book blog#haya sameer#haya blogs#writers on tumblr#writer community#writer tools#writer blog#writer stuff#writer wednesday#writer tips#creative writing#writers of tumblr#writerscommunity#writeblr#writing community#writer spotlight#writer things#writing prompt#writing tools#writing stuff#writing#writing life#writing inspo#writing help#writing advice#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing things#writing tip
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I’m back ya’ll with more art! I had all the characters designed for a while but didn’t get around to posting them. Now I’m going through sort of an art block. I’ve got lots of ideas for stuff but everything I draw is crap. So I thought I should catch up on my other stuff. Like talking about this squirrel design for Apple Jack. Now isn’t she cute!
I really like the colours on the powered up ponies. Though I did give her a different shade of pink I thought suited her better. I also gave her a bolo because southern. These uniforms aren’t supposed to be realistic. More like something they would wear in promo images. Lastly look at the little band I put in her tail. I should do something like that with other squirrels.
I made her a squirrel because they’re farmers and Apple Jack’s personality is farm. Nah. I don’t approve Apple Jack hate. I didn’t think of her all that much, when I watched MLP as a kid. Now as an adult (it feels so weird writing that) I find her relationship with her family quite interesting. She always puts herself last. Probably because she was parentified, by having to take care of Apple Bloom and the farm. One of these days I got to write an Apple Jack / Rainbow Dash fanfic. I think she contrasts well with Rainbow Dash’s selfishness.
In the Squirrel and Hedgehog universe she would be raised very patriotic. She would often be the voice of reason. Though she would butt heads with Pinkie Pie over leaving her family and Fluttershy for not wanting to serve her country.
I don’t know why my ramble about the first character is always so long. Anyways. One of my best designs, Rarity! Originally I wanted to make her a mouse and reserve the weasels for the alicorns. But come on. Rarity deserved all the glam only reserved for high ranking military officers.
She was born into a royal family. Given a high ranking position in military since birth. Rainbow Dash had to earn her high rank through blood sweat and tears. With both of them having quite strong personalities they would of course hate each other. Rarity likes being in the military and bossing animals around. Though she can be a bit too much sometimes, she has a soft spot for mice. She doesn’t see them as her equals, but treats them better than many weasels.
Lastly Twilling Sparkle! My best design. It’s the bangs and eyes. I specially didn’t put any highlights in them. The idea for her came from my IRL friend. She told me Twilight Sparkle should be a lab rat. Technically she’s a lab mouse but the joke still works! Once I get over this drawing problem I might do the honorary seventh members. Sunset Shimmer (probably a fox) and Starlight Glimmer (definitely a hedgehog).
Until now I haven’t thought of how Twilight became a scientist. She probably started as a regular soldier. Then one day they needed a lab assistant. She would prove to be quite good so the scientist decided to teach her the ways.
Now I guess I should mention my idea for this MLP Squirrel and Hedgehog fanfic. Basically the mane six would crash on a deserted island. They would have to throw away all their prejudices to survive. Proving friendship is magic. I should do some research how war prisoners are transported. And some research on military ranks too. I’m not sure who is captured. I thought it would be the weasel side considering there’s a scientist amongst them. But on the other paw how would a group of ordinary soldiers manage to catch such high ranking animals?
If you got any ideas for this story, please write to me.
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hey, apologies if this doesnt make sense, its like 1 am and i just got done with dance lol
so, bascially, im doubting shifting. How can i know if its real? Anti-shifters call shifting schizophrenia (however you spell it) or some sort of lucid dreaming. i dont want to waste my time if something isnt real yk? and other people say its just imagination and that i’m stupid for believing that i can shift realities. how can i fully believe shifting, with the little amount of evidence there is?
im not an anti-shifter btw, just curious! also sorry if these questions dont make sense, im in middle school and my english sucks (even though its my first language, lmao)
have a good day! happy shifting <333
shifting antis are usually people who gave up shifting they never shifted or genuinely think it’s a dream and we’re making things up.
i have lucid dreamt for a bit now. while dreams feel real, once you realize you’re dreaming and go lucid, everything feels malleable. shifting doesn’t feel like that. there’s a lucid dreaming term called persistent dreams or persistent realms (something along these lines) that has been talked about for a long time that is basically describing shifting using the lucid dream method under a different name.
lucid dreaming was heavily criticized when i was a kid (and way before even that) because it seemed impossible that people could control their dreams. now there’s tons of research on it. we are a tiny speck in a vast universe that is constantly expanding. if shifting is a super realistic version of lucid dreaming? i’m okay with that! i still know the experiences that i’ll experience are real to me. doesn’t matter what other people think.
because there’s not much research it can be hard to believe. but then i remember shifters talking about their grandparents shifting and keeping it to themselves, not putting a name on it. i think about our younger selves who shifted because our imaginations were so powerful to us. i think of the relief people feel when they shift for the first time. i think of the community that’s been brought together that gains nothing from lying about this. most of all i think about how we discovered this thing for a reason.
best advice i can give is join communities that allow you to talk to other shifters. shiftblr, discord servers, etc. are places you can talk to people who are likeminded and lots of people have genuine stories. for me, i keep shifting as a private thing only for myself and don’t really talk about it with irl friends. i’m not saying you have to do that, but that’s the balance that’s worked for me. but everyone’s different! listen to peoples stories and experiences and it helps so much <3 i hope that helps a little bit? my dms are open so feel free to dm me if you need anything!
#shifting#reality shifting#shiftblr#quantum jumping#shifting community#scripting#shifting realities#desired reality#maes asks
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our gentle sin ; jeong jaehyun
title: our gente sin | final part of amami ancora
pairing(s): jeong jaehyun x oc | side members: lee donghyuck, lee taeyong, kim doyoung, lee mark, nakamoto yuta, huang renjun, qian kun / mentioned: na jaemin, lee jeno
genre: royal au, parents au, established relationship, smut, fluff,
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, public sex, rough sex, dirty talk, religious language and imaginary in a pretty blasphemous way in one scene, worshipping, praise kink, oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink, switch!jaehyun, switch!oc (tbh they don’t really have dom/sub dynamics but there’s some power play, so I put it like this), pregnancy sex, breast play, minor lactation kink | minor character death, minor mentions of antepartum depression
summary: an unexpected meeting leads to an unexpected proposal. It takes just one decision to change forever the ending of their story. Can they grasp both love and power, or will they lose everything they fought hard to get? Will they rise from the ashes of their past like a phoenix, or will they stain their reputation with sin even more?
word count: 51.730
taglist: @adorejaehyn @pinkyzae @hopefulchick
a/n: so here we are with the last part (for real this time) of amami ancora. I had a request asking for some more and I admit I’m not sure it’s what they wanted but I couldn’t find the motivation to write plotless scenes, so I gave their story a twist. I’m sorry for the anon that wanted a background story for the other members but I couldn’t come up with much. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll write some spin-offs about them after this, but I can’t promise anything. I wrote this mostly for myself because the main reason why at the start I didn’t want to write a sequel for amami ancora and I made it end that way, was because I wanted Scarlett to don’t give up her throne, but I guess you can choose this or part three to be ending that you want. Also, keep in mind this has no intention to be accurate. I researched about how it used to work but it’s set in a fantasy world and in the future, so I changed a lot of things to my pleasure. I never planned for this story to come so far so I didn’t think about a true setting when I wrote the first part, it was just for the aesthetic of royalty and the illicit relationship between them. Let’s pretend everything’s realistic and possible. Hope you’ll like it.
Scarlett sighed loudly before closing Eunbi’s bedroom door behind her. It was rather late, past eight, and she was alone at home. Eunbi was good, never complained about anything, but putting her to bed without her dad to the side was always a struggle. And now Jaehyun wasn’t home, and he wasn’t going to come home before three days.
Moving to a new house was a big step, probably bigger than what they could’ve afforded, but they didn’t have much choice. Eunbi was growing, Johnny had moved out, so did Mark and Yuta, Taeyong and Doyoung needed their spaces, and so did they. Setting their own rhythms to raise her was necessary, not only for her but also for them as a couple.
So here they were, in a small house, just a street away from the old one. It had just the essential rooms, and a small garden surrounding it.
And even if it had been a year since they moved there and they were overall doing fine, Jaehyun had to start going abroad often to bring more money home. They weren’t struggling, but they still had a three-year-old baby to look after and bills to pay.
Scarlett stretched her back, feeling exhausted after the long day, and then walked down the stairs, thinking about preparing some tea to cool off before trying to sleep too.
But her plan for the night blew up. She almost felt her heart drop to the floor when she noticed that she wasn’t alone. Her lips quivered, trying hard to push out some words, and she felt so close to passing out when she realized who was standing in front of her.
“What – what are you doing here?” She asked as her eyes focused on the figure in front of her, hoping that her brain was messing with her, that she had completely gone insane.
“It’s nice to see you again,” he smiled, standing up from the chair and walking toward her. “What a nice house you’ve built.”
She felt trapped in her spot, terrified of what was coming next. She had spent the last three years – almost four – being sure, they were done with her.
“I don’t know who you’re looking for,” she played dumb. She looked a little bit different from when she left, maybe he would’ve fallen for it.
But it didn’t work. Donghyuck chuckled loudly and then shook his head. “I’m looking for you.”
She sighed, getting that there was no point pretending anymore. “It’s been years, aren’t you married by now? Didn’t you move on?”
“I’m not here for myself,” he started explaining, now standing in front of her. They were so close it almost felt uncomfortable. “Your father, His Grace, is dying.”
She stared at him, not knowing what to say or what to do. She emitted a low huff while she tried to look for honesty behind his face and process the news.
“I’m not coming back there for his funeral so you can finally have my head hanged on a wire.”
“I don’t plan on killing you,” he said, completely serious. And looking at him, she almost dared to swear that nothing of that old Donghyuck she despised was there anymore.
“How did you find me?” She asked, changing the topic of their conversation. She was more than sure she had hidden well, and if he knew, why he didn’t get to her before? Why wait so long?
“I never believed in your death,” he shrugged, walking around, eyes wandering around the place as if this conversation was totally normal. Maybe he was still the same old Donghyuck she couldn’t stand. The one that didn’t take things seriously, the one that thought that everything was a game because power could fix everything with no consequences. “But I guess it was easier to declare it than to come to look for you wherever you were. You know, in the little time we spent together, I think I got to know you. You would’ve never let anything stop you, not even death. You could’ve easily killed yourself in the castle, but you did not.”
She snickered, eyes rolling up to the sky, he was still a pretentious brat… but he was also right. “Then why you didn’t tell my father? I don’t think he knows me that much.”
Donghyuck stilled, and turned around to look at her, “It was easier. I would haven’t been able to reign, to wield so much power.”
She raised a brow, truly not understanding his point, “What do you want then?”
“I want you to come back and reign. Your mother is shattered by your loss, and soon the one of the King, I’m sure she won’t be able to take it.”
She snorted, staring at him in disbelief, and then said, “Take the reign.”
“I could, truthfully, that’s what your father wants but I think it is fair to give you another chance. I grew to understand what loving blindly means, and I must admit I do understand you.”
She shook her head, walking around him, getting closer to the front door, hoping he would follow, but he stood right where he was. “No, you don’t. You have no idea what I felt when you started treating me like a mere trade commodity while I was carrying the child of my only love, knowing he was gone without a goodbye.”
Donghyuck nodded, wetting his lips swiftly before speaking, “I am sorry, deeply. I was a dumb boy blinded by success. Trust me, I could easily grab everything your parents will leave behind and have the biggest reign on the land, but I want you to have everything that is rightfully yours.”
“And what assures me that now that you finally found me, you don’t want to give me the justice you want and surely, also crave for?”
“I have a wife; I now know what love means. I am a father, too. Blind revenge would only stain my honour and pride as a man of high ideals.”
“I can’t,” she replied, drifting the gaze from him. Because his words sounded genuine and also tempting, she missed home like crazy sometimes, and it wasn’t for the material things. It was for her mother, her handmaids, for all the years of her life she had spent in anticipation of a future that never came. “I’m… I’m a mother, and I can’t even think about raising my child how I was raised. I have friends, I have a job, I have love and I’m happy.”
“I understand,” he said. “However, if you’ll change your mind, here’s an invitation to the first ball of the season. It’s special, they will lead you to me directly.”
“You really think I trust you? You think I’d come back there after running away? You think I’d let you take all the happiness I created away from me so easily?” She said even if she knew that in the depths of her heart, those words were partially a lie. He had changed; it was clear as the sky that he wasn’t the selfish Prince she was bound to marry, but she still had other duties, other things and people she held dear to her heart.
“I do not mean to trap you,” he said, once again, serious and composed. “Read the journals, hear the rumors, the King is dying, and I have little to no interest to deal with two reigns like this.”
“Wouldn’t it have been the same if I had married you?”
“No, if I had married you, I would’ve loved to love that land, and its flowers, and its people, but I’ve only come to hate it. No offense, but your father’s not so good at dealing with things, and everything I thought was gold, turned out to be the one of the fools.”
She knew it was in fact true; her father completely lost track of things in the last years, but she wasn’t so sure she could trust him. This wasn’t only about her, not anymore, it would’ve dragged Jaehyun and Eunbi in it too, and she couldn’t do that.
“I know our relationship started in the worst way. I know I backstabbed you, and I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to trust me, but please, at least think about it. Your country will fall into foreign hands if you don’t come back, and so will the people you care about that you left there,” he added before walking over to her and opening the door. “I always admired you, and if I came back here, started to search you desperately one year ago behind the King’s back, it’s because I know how much you’re worth, and I believe in it. You were meant to be a Queen.”
When he closed the door without giving her the chance to talk back, she had to lean against the closest wall to start breathing again. She closed her eyes, feeling hot tears start rolling out, and she immediately wiped them away. Her hands clutched the letter tighter, feeling her skin burn when her fingers grazed the wax stamp with the symbol of her family on it and walked to the kitchen, pushing the paper to the back of a random drawer.
That was most likely a trap.
She tried to convince herself.
He simply couldn’t kidnap her, or it would’ve drawn a scandal, so he wanted to make it look as if she was turning herself in.
She wasn’t going to come back.
As the day went by, she tried to push that conversation out of her mind. Focusing on her job and Eunbi luckily was enough to keep her mind off of it.
But when Jaehyun came back, it was harder to hide it. It was like he knew something was off, always creeping deep and studying her closely.
“Are you okay?” He kept asking her every time he had the chance, just like right now, they were sitting on the couch watching a movie while Eunbi was playing on the floor with some toys.
She nodded, lips sealed together, as she shifted closer to him. No, she wasn’t okay. She couldn’t scroll the idea of what Donghyuck had told her out of her mind, but at the same time, moments like this reminded her that, if his words were honest, life in the royal palace was going to be completely different. She still had all the tight rules marked on the back of her brain for how long she had to repeat them when she was a child to know how to behave in high society. And as she looked at her daughter play, so wild and free, she wondered if she could ever do something like this to her.
“I can take some days off to look after her,” Jaehyun proposed, right hand caressing her shoulder over the fabric of the dress she was wearing.
“No, it’s not her,” she admitted after taking a long breath. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”
Jaehyun hummed, deciding to leave it there, and then his head fell on top of hers, inhaling her scent deeply. And even if she couldn’t see him, she knew he had his eyes closed and a smile on his face.
And she wondered if she could ever give up this for something else. She had never seen her parents be so intimate. She had never seen her father get lost in the scent of her mother. She had never seen them hold hands or lay on the couch together as she played in front of them. And she wondered if it was a problem of their marriage or something that came with their life. Have they ever been in love? Or was that lifestyle that made them drift away?
But one thing she knew for sure, was that she didn’t want to lose Jaehyun or Eunbi. She didn’t fight so hard to have them both, just to lose them again to run after something that was so… superficial.
So, she searched for his hand and dragged it over her waist, making their fingers intertwine while her attention was focused on the little girl that was playing teatime with a doll and a teddy bear on the floor.
No, she couldn’t lose all of this.
She was also more than sure to keep it a secret from him. Jaehyun tended to get quite apprehensive, and there was no need to make him panic about something stupid. But so caught up in everything, she had forgotten she never got rid of the invitation.
And that Friday night, when it was usual for the boys to come over to have dinner together like they were used to when they lived together, Jaehyun found it out while he was going through the drawers to look for something.
“Where is the –” he screamed from the kitchen before a weird paper caught his attention. A letter? What was a letter doing there? They didn’t keep documents there. He furrowed and then grabbed it, turning it around to study it, and his eyes widened when he saw the stamp that sealed the flap. “An invitation from the royal palace? The royal palace of your reign? For the first ball of the season?” Jaehyun asked, lifting the beige envelope in the air as he walked out of the room and stared at Scarlett that was holding Eunbi’s hand next to the table to help her sit.
Scarlett froze on the spot and didn’t lift her head to look at him. “Leave it there, you might as well just throw it,” she said, lifting Eunbi and sitting her on the highchair, waiting for everyone to reach the table, hoping he would listen and pay it no mind.
“Did you receive it too?” He asked the others, still holding the paper in hand.
“Jaehyun, please,” she whispered, walking to him to take it from his hand but he lifted his arm up.
“No,” he replied, voice stern as he pushed down the bitterness. She knew about this. Why would she keep this a secret? “Where did you get this, Scarlett?”
She sighed, “Donghyuck…” she whispered, drifting her gaze from him and wrapping her arms around her body, hands rubbing against the exposed skin of her arms.
“Are you joking?”
She shook her head, swallowing hard.
“He knows where you are?” His voice almost broke coming out, more than sad now that she didn’t tell him. “He knows where we are!”
“I had just put her to sleep for the night and when I came downstairs, he was there, sitting at the table.”
“He entered our place, and you didn’t tell me anything?”
“Jaehyun, please,” she begged, not in the mood to fight in front of everybody.
“Please, what? He’s the reason I didn’t get to see our child grow inside of you, he’s the reason I had to leave you without a word, he’s the reason we’ve been through so much hell.”
“I know, but he found me, and he…”
“He?” He urged her to talk, what was there more to hide?
“He wants me to go back…” she confessed in a whisper, so low that he could barely hear, and the others could only guess what she had said by Jaehyun’s expression, hurt, bitter, and even scared.
Jaehyun scoffed, looking at his friends to see if he had imagined those words to come from her mouth or if he heard right but the others’ gazes weren’t on them, trying to act as if they weren’t interested in the matter.
“This is a joke, right? He came here, asked you to go back there, he knows where you live, where we live and the idea of telling me didn’t even cross your mind? I could go to bed tonight and some soldiers will slam through the door and take you and Eunbi away from me again and you didn’t tell me!”
“My father’s dying,” she snapped. “My… he’s dying and my mother too, she’s… she’s heartbroken because of me and him and I’m sorry. I don’t want to go back there but I thought that pushing it out of my mind would help me carry on without the heavy thought of them leaving.”
Jaehyun blinked twice, trying to convince himself this was all a dream, but when his eyes opened again and met Scarlett’s face, he realized it wasn’t. “I thought you hated him.”
“I do. But my mom, she’s… she loved me. Despite him, despite how disappointed he was of me, despite me being the reason he didn’t love her anymore. I was her greatest joy, her biggest happiness, and only now I can imagine what it must be like to be deprived of the very being you love the most,” she said, briefly looking at Eunbi, feeling her heart clench at the mere idea of having to lose her for whatever reason. She didn’t want to think about what her mother must’ve been through, and she felt so guilty now. Only now able to understand that nothing could come close to the loss of a child, no matter how grown they are.
Jaehyun sighed, glancing at Eunbi that was mindlessly playing with Taeyong’s hand, and then brought his attention back to Scarlett.
Another sigh left his lips while his mind was running a thousand miles per hour. But that wasn’t the place to discuss it, he just wanted to put his heart at ease, and then they would’ve started again tonight, alone, in their bedroom, without bothering the others and the baby. “Do you want to go back?” He simply asked, hoping that the words coming out of her mouth were going to be negative.
She sniffled, “No, I don’t plan to. And I didn’t mean to keep it a secret, I’m sorry.”
He nodded, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t worry,” he reassured her. He knew that leaving everything behind had been harder than she wanted to admit, she never talked about her past for a reason, and it wasn’t because she was afraid, but because it was part of her. “Should we eat now?”
The dinner went on smoothly as they talked about their future plans. How Johnny and his girlfriend, Juliet, were to get married. How Mark felt he had a special connection with kids and was ready to have one – resulting in making everybody laugh. Or how Yuta thought that he needed to travel the world and see more than just these lands.
But when the conversation fell on them, Doyoung spoke before they could.
“I think you should go back there, isn’t this what you’ve been taught for your entire life?” He said, obtaining a menacing gaze from Jaehyun who wanted to avoid that topic.
Scarlett coughed, cleaned her face with the napkin, and then smiled shyly at her friend. “Yes, but I don’t think it’s what I want,” she replied, staring at the table before raising her gaze, “I have all of you, you taught me things all those years there didn’t teach me. You are like family to me, and I can’t leave you behind.”
“We might come and meet you during special occasions,” Johnny proposed, shoulders lifting as if it was that easy.
“It doesn’t work like this,” Jaehyun replied, suppressing the want to roll his eyes at their naivety.
“I thought the princess was her not you?”
He rolled his eyes, “I’ve been by her side for years, I’ve been trained hard to know how that world works. And it’s not for people like us, never been and never will be.”
“Yeah, but you will be in command, and you two –”
“She and her husband,” Jaehyun replied sternly, fit tightening against the table. “She will need to marry a respectable noble man from the high society and be the Queen. She will also need to find a Lord or a Prince that will accept the child of a love affair with her bodyguard outside of marriage.”
“Yeah, if her father’s alive,” Doyoung said. “But when he’ll… mhh, perish, she will be in command. Does somebody care for these rules anyway?”
“People might not care inside of the reign, Do, too worried about their own problems, bigger than to care for a sinful Queen, but it is a shameful act committed by me. I’ve been reckless and now I must pay the price. Even if I ruled, the other nobles, the Lords and Queens and Kings from other reigns will look down on me.”
“For loving?” Johnny asked, nose turning up in a mix of disdain and surprise. Damn, so he was right about hating those kinds of people.
“It’s not that easy,” Jaehyun replied. “It’s a world with set rules to follow and prejudice and gossip as fast as the wind.”
“Nobody knows you were pregnant, though?” Mark said with a cheerful voice, happy as if he made the cleverest of affirmation.
And both Jaehyun and Scarlett glared at him. “And what about her? Do I push her back inside and pretend she didn’t come out of there almost three years ago?”
“Oh, right… Well, you could say she’s the Prince’s…”
“I’m not going around pretending our child is somebody else’s,” Jaehyun cut him off, glaring at him, mad he could even think about something like that.
“I won’t go back, anyway,” Scarlett reassured him, placing her hand on top of his, caressing it softly.
“What if you proved yourself to be a valuable Queen?”
“I don’t think this will be enough. I ran away, left my people behind when I was so close to marry for their sake and to bring new light in our country, faked my death, and… this is, unforgivable, for the high society and for the commoners.”
“But you lived among commoners for years. You worked with us, you now know our struggles, more than any other ruler before. Wouldn’t it be enough?”
She sighed, shaking her head, “It’s not that easy,” she replied, and then coughed, “Can we change the topic? What about you two? Are you still going to live in the old house?”
When the night came and everybody went home, they finished cleaning up and then put Eunbi to bed. Nobody said a word about that again and Scarlett thought everybody pushed the thought out of their minds.
But Jaehyun couldn’t stop thinking about it as he watched her clean the dishes at his side, as he watched her sing Eunbi a sweet lullaby, and even now that she was putting her hair in a loose braid after changing into her nightgown.
He had seen her covered in gold. He had been by her side the few times she held public speeches. He had listened to her rants about how her father should’ve solved certain problems.
He knew her, more than anybody else. Maybe even more than herself considering how much she pushed herself behind everything and everybody just to make others happy, often forgetting herself in the way.
And the reason why she was pretending now, was them. Probably terrified of losing them again or losing what they had. Because he knew she had always been honest when she said that she loved this even if they had nothing, even if it meant sharing the place with five other people, even if it meant that some days they had to work longer to bring more money home and they couldn’t afford many luxuries. She loved this, but she also loved that. And he was wondering if the key to everything was them, or if it was all meant to fall down if they stopped being what they were now.
“Is that what you wish for?” Jaehyun asked, standing near the window, eyes shifting from the city to her.
“What?” She asked, twisting the braid into a bun and clipping the hair to keep them still while she walked toward their bed.
“To go back there.”
“Are you still mad?”
“I asked you a simple question, Scarlett,” he sighed, walking to sit next to her. “Is that what you wish for?”
“I – I don’t wish for it,” she replied, voice shaking. And once again she didn’t hold eye contact with him for more than two seconds.
“You do.”
“What? You can’t ask me a question and then be against my answer.”
“I know you. I know how dearly you cared about that world. I know how badly you wanted to be a different Queen compared to your father. I was there by your side when you walked between the people, your people, with the only desire to offer them hope and change for the future. I was there when you spent hours practicing how to host parties, how cheerfully you would chat with your ladies insisting on helping them, excited about everything. I know how much this costs you. I know how much you lost for me and Eunbi. I was the one who told you that you deserved to reign, to be the Queen, to hold the power that always belonged to you.”
She tried to push back the tears because he was right; that was what she wanted but in the past. In another life, if that didn’t mean losing the two people that made her the absolute happiest.
“But I’m also happy now,” she replied, it was the truth, she was happy. “We won’t be able to take care of Eunbi as we do now, she’ll be sent to caretakers, and she’ll have lessons and…”
“Just like she soon should’ve started going to school?”
“But I love this place, I love the boys, and I love the way I can just feel normal.”
“But that belongs to you. Maybe Johnny’s right, if Donghyuck’s not mad anymore you may have relations with him to help with external politics and then nobody would dare to say a word about their Queen. I know that for you it had never been about the high society anyway, but I know how you wanted to make it right for your people. And they’ll love a Queen like you. You could completely turn all the rules over, you already did, so why not do it now? Shock them even more, show them how strong—willed you are, how much passion you put into what you love.”
“Why are you pushing me in this?”
“Because I know your potential. Because as somebody that grew up poor and spent more than half of his life in the streets I would count on you, I know I’d be in good hands. Because I never believed it was fair for you to choose between love and power. I told you countless times, and now, you can have both. Your father won’t decide for you, you will decide for yourself.”
She sighed, it was tempting, it was all she had worked hard on but… “What if the Prince’s not being honest? What if this is all a sick plan to get to me?”
“Is there not a way to test it? I mean, he’s married now, happily even, or it seems so, he has a son of his own, why would he still come between us?”
She nodded, and her mind replayed the conversation she had with Donghyuck, he did seem honest. But then she stared at Jaehyun, this wasn’t just about her, but their family, and him. He never loved that world much, she knew he was only interested in her endless talks because she was talking. And she didn’t want him to force himself into this. They were doing fine, they could’ve pretended Donghyuck never found her, and that letter never arrived. “What made you change your mind?”
“I told you, Scar.”
“I’m not sure that’s the life for me anymore. I don’t even remember what my duties would have to be like, it’s… too much.”
“But you’ll have me by your side, and Eunbi. Didn’t you say you were your mother’s strength? Why can’t we be yours? I don’t want to force you, but you did want to rule and by yourself. So what’s different now?”
“I spent three years away from there, I don’t even remember all the etiquette rules I have to follow.”
“Then screw them. Be revolutionary, be the people’s Queen. Be like them, not like the ton that would judge you. Be the Queen you always wanted to be, the Princess you’ve always been. People loved you, and I’m sure there’s still a place for them in your heart.”
“But what if I let them down?”
“How could you? You have a heart beating inside your chest, unlike your father, that was what was missing. If you want to get back what it’s owed to you, just go for it.”
“But if I do, I want the boys to come with us. I want them to have honorary titles. I want Renjun to be the best tailor in town, finally not being paid dust anymore. I want Johnny, Mark, Yuta, and Jeno to take care of all the crown jewels and I want Taeyong and Jaemin to have the biggest bakery ever existed.”
“As you wish, my Queen. I doubt anyone could stop you.”
She chuckled at the title, but then turned serious again and stared at him deeply in the eyes, holding his hands in hers, “And I want you to be my King.”
Jaehyun scanned her face, brain trying to process her words and understand if they were a joke or not. “Is this…?”
“A proposal, yes.”
“Are you proposing to me? Like this? In this bed?”
“Yes,” she smiled. “Jeong Jaehyun, Lord of my heart and soul, would you accept to become my husband?”
Just when he was about the answer, the door opened, a sleepy Eunbi was standing next to it before walking inside. “Mama, Papa,” Eunbi mumbled, fist tight around her favourite blanket that now was just a bit more than a napkin, “I can’t sleep.”
“Oh, look who’s here,” Jaehyun cooed, watching as she ran to them before lifting her up in his arms, “just in time to help me with a big question.”
“Me?” She asked, looking between her parents, index finger pressed against her chest.
“Yep, my Princess,” he smiled. “Should I marry Mama?”
“Marry?” She asked, clearly confused.
A soft chuckle left their mouths, “Have you ever seen those big white events? The flowers, the tall cakes, the balls.”
She nodded, lower lip trapped into her teeth, “Yes! You want to marry Mama?”
“I asked him to marry him, Mama’s waiting for an answer.”
“Say yes! Say yes! Please!” She begged, happily jumping up and down in Jaehyun’s hold. “I want to be a princess for a day.”
They looked at each other, smiling tenderly. “I’d be delighted to be your husband, Queen Scarlett,” he replied, kissing her as Eunbi let out happy squeals, not knowing that soon, she was going to be a princess for real.
“I’m so nervous,” Scarlett whispered, holding Jaehyun’s hand in her right hand and Eunbi’s in the left.
“It’ll be fine,” he reassured her before leaning toward and glimpsing at Eunbi, that was looking around in awe. “She seems quite excited, instead,” he chuckled, and she smiled after briefly glancing at the kid.
“Yeah, I was like her too the first time they let me walk these corridors,” she mumbled, trying to keep her composure and don’t let panic take over, but she still couldn’t put her heart at ease. Everything went fine for now, they arrived at the palace for a while now and they were waiting for Donghyuck to welcome them. They had arrived from the back of the palace, and only a few people saw them, mostly the guards and some maids that were walking in the corridors, hurrying to their rooms for their duties.
“Oh, why did they leave you here… the three of you?” Donghyuck opened the door, gaze moving back and forth between them, surprised to see them all. “Come in,” he said, letting them inside the hall of the first floor, leaving the garden and the arcades behind.
“Thank you for having us,” she said, bowing slightly at him.
“Well, technically this is your place, not mine,” he replied, walking toward the King’s chamber.
“Wait, I have to see him right now?” She asked as soon as she realized the direction they were taking. She thought she was going to see her mother first, or he was going to make them settle for a while in her old room.
He turned around, looking at her, “he’s dying. I thought you wanted to have one last word with him.”
“Is it serious this time or is it just like when he wanted to run away from his responsibilities?”
“It is serious. This might be your last chance.”
She turned around, looking at Jaehyun and Eunbi, eyes communicating with him with silent words.
“Go, I’ll wait here with her,” he reassured her. “There are many paintings on the walls that I can show her.”
“No,” she said, “you two are coming with me. I want to show him that nothing, not even his wickedness, could stop me from loving you.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Donghyuck chimed, still standing next to the door, hands behind his back and head high.
She looked at him, not convinced of leaving them alone, but left with no other option, “if you hurt them, I’ll do the same to you.”
“You still think I’ll betray you?”
“Sorry if I can’t trust anybody here,” she said, opening the door ajar, but she stopped and turned around. “But I do want you to come in after. I want him to see that he couldn’t take away my happiness from me.”
When she stepped inside, the room was dark, only lit up by a dim lamp next to the bed. And her father was laying in the bed, sleeping, or seemingly so. She walked closer slowly, feeling her heart twist in her chest. No matter the hatred she felt for him in her heart, seeing him in those conditions after so many years still shocked her. There was nothing of the man she knew, just a hollow face, grey hair, and broken brown eyes. And he was all alone. Maybe what he deserved for all the pain he had caused people over the years.
“Sca—Scarlett…” he mumbled, opening his eyes fully. “No, this can’t – it can’t be,” he huffed, chest panting heavily, struggling in his place, trying to drift further from her but with no strength anymore. “Are you a ghost? Are you here to haunt my last breaths?”
“I am very much real, father,” she replied, not feeling a hint of compassion run in her veins. “I came back to take what I’m owed, my reign, my crown, my throne.”
“I – I thought – you were dead,” he breathed out between coughs.
“Surprise, I guess,” she joked, laughing coldly and shrugging. “Even if you wanted me dead so bad, I’m not.”
“I – never wanted you dead,” he retorted, voice low and broken.
“Right, you simply never wanted me. You wanted a boy, a boy you could raise as King, as the perfect heir my mother never could give you because she almost died giving birth to me. This is why you stopped loving her, this is why you never, not even once, looked at me with a glimpse of love or pride in your eyes no matter how perfect of an heir I was.”
“You put shame on me.”
“You put shame on yourself. You were the worst King that ever ruled over this reign, focusing on superficial matters instead of serious ones. What is most shameful? Love or greed?”
“You know nothing,” he coughed, “about what you’re talking about. You can’t come back here and put more dishonour on our family.”
She rolled her eyes, chuckling at his words. “And why? As if you’ll be here to see it, anyway. And if it won’t be me, it will be Donghyuck that, trust me, doesn’t care about this piece of land as much as he probably made you believe.”
“He never loved you.”
“I don’t truly care about that. I have love. The love of my life.”
A mocking laugh rolled out of his lips, “still attached to that bodyguard buried six feet underground?”
She snickered and then turned around, walking toward the door. And when she came back with Jaehyun and Eunbi by her side, her father almost felt his heart give up once and for all.
“Are you talking about the next King and Princess?”
The King felt his heart lose another beat when his gaze landed on the man in front of him and the child he was holding in his arms; the proof of the scandal that happened between them and stained their family forever. He truly believed Jaehyun was dead, that thought made him sleep at night, putting aside the need to kill him with his own hands. But he was alive, and so was his daughter and the child that was just another mistake, and he had no strength to get rid of him, or them. “He cannot be the King.”
“Are you sure? You will not be here anyway; I do not need your blessing for this marriage.”
“Your mother will never let you marry him, nor will Donghyuck or anybody else. Aren’t you ashamed?”
“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Of never being a father to me? Jaehyun might not have royal blood in his veins but trust me, he is a better father than you’ve ever been. Eunbi has the love I’ve never, ever, received in my entire life. Not from you, at least. He is a man of honour and values, he knows the court rules, and he has always been by my side, never putting me or my intellect and my will down. He will be the best King that could ever stand beside me, and you will be in your grave with a heavy heart, full of bitterness and regret and anger, furious about my choices once again. But I’ll prove your ghost wrong. I’ll prove to you I can, and I will be better than you. This is my vow to you.”
“You – you won’t.”
“I will. This is a promise, an oath. And weren’t you the one telling me to always be true to what you promise?”
When his father tried to retort once again and his voice struggled to come out, she grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and said, “let’s go,” before spinning on her heels.
“Scarlett!” Her father shouted but she was already out of the door, feeling her heart beating faster than usual.
“Mama,” Eunbi called, a worried expression on her little face.
“Hey, baby,” she replied, lifting her head to stare at her. “I’m fine, Mama’s fine.”
“You don’t seem to be,” Donghyuck said, standing next to them.
“I want to see my mother,” she changed the topic after grabbing Eunbi from Jaehyun’s arms. “I want her to know she’s not alone anymore.”
“Sure. I think she will be happy to see you again.”
“What happened there?” Jaehyun whispered close to Scarlett’s ear when they started walking toward the morning room where her mother was staying.
“The usual for him, the only thing he can do when it comes to me, my life and my choices.”
“Pretty,” Eunbi exclaimed, staring at the paintings on the walls, index finger pointing at them.
“Yeah, do you like it here?”
She hummed as her head kept moving around to don’t lose a single frame on the wall.
“Well, at least she’s happy,” Scarlett noted, intertwining her fingers with Jaehyun to search for some kind of comfort. She didn’t want to regret this, but facing her father was harder than she imagined.
“It’s going to be alright,” he said, holding her hand tighter, leaving a small peck on her forehead and she smiled, squeezing his hand back.
“Here we are,” after a few moments they arrived in front of the big room, “let me go in first,” Donghyuck said, opening the door. “Your Majesty,” he greeted, bowing politely. “There’s a special guest, well, three special guests that would like to see you.”
“Oh, dear, could you please send them away? I do not wish to see anybody right now.”
Donghyuck sighed, briefly looking back at Scarlett that was tightly holding the baby in her arms, silently imploring him to convince her to let them in.
“Your Majesty, I’m sure you would be delighted to meet them. They are very dear to you.”
The Queen chuckled bitterly, probably mixed with a choked sob, “I lost what I had dearer to me three years ago all because of that vile man and… I’m sure nobody can fill that hole left in my chest.”
Hearing her words, Scarlett pushed Donghyuck to the side and entered the room, the Queens’ guards immediately cornered her.
“Mother,” she said, looking at her through the swords in front of her.
“Oh my,” the woman mumbled, covering her open mouth with her hand and standing up, legs shaking, incredulously looking at her, just like everyone else in the room did.
“Her Highness, lady Scarlett,” the handmaids mumbled in whispers, looking at each other curiously to make sure none of them was imagining things.
“You died,” the Queen cried, walking toward her, waving the guards away. “You… you.”
“I’m here, mother. I’m safe and sound, always have been.”
Her mother broke down crying, knees giving up, falling to the floor. Scarlett kneeled too, letting Eunbi stand on the floor, staring at the scene with curios, confused eyes. “The pain I felt all these years knowing you were gone without saying a word. Disappeared, killed by the waters as your father kept telling me half—truths and hiding what truly happened from me. The hollow I felt in my chest every time I passed by your chamber and you simply weren’t there, or when I had to host balls without you by my side. It’s a pain I wish for you to never feel, my dear,” she mumbled in the hug, a moment so intimate, so rare to see in the royal court. And Donghyuck swiftly ordered everybody to leave the room to talk to them and warn them to keep it a secret until things weren’t official.
“I’m here, mother. And I am so sorry for all the pain I put you through, but I had to. They left me no other choice.” She helped her stand up, fixing the dress and then looking down when she saw a little hand touch the pearls on the gown.
“Eunbi, don’t. It’s rude,” Scarlett scolded her that looked up in surprise.
“But it’s pretty,” she whispered, unwillingly removing her hand from the fabric.
“Oh, she’s your daughter? So, it was true? That’s why he urged to move the marriage?”
Scarlett nodded and then stretched her hand back to signal Jaehyun to move closer. He didn’t have to stand behind them anymore, that was in the past.
“Eunbi,” she called once again when she tried to climb on the sofa to see the tea pottery.
“Oh, please, let her,” the Queen said in a light tone. “She’s just like you.”
“Yeah, I guess we can agree on that. She’s very nice, just curious. I think it’s because of all the stimulation she gets from her uncles. They carry her everywhere, she’s wild.”
“Uncles?” The older woman asked, turning back around, only now focusing on Jaehyun. “You... you are back? You already picked a bodyguard again?”
Jaehyun coughed and Scarlett chuckled. “If I told you I need your blessing for a wedding?”
“Sure, but with who? We should do all that again and,” she stopped, her stare finally falling where Jaehyun and Scarlett’s hands intertwined, and then she looked back at Eunbi that was sitting on the sofa, turning a golden spoon in her little hands. “You two? You had to run away because she is your daughter? I thought your father was simply mad because you consumed before the wedding with Prince Lee but you, oh…”
“Mother, I know, but you can’t control love, can you? Your father too was against you and the King, but in the end, you married him anyway. We love each other, a bond so strong I know I’ll never feel it with anybody else. And Jaehyun’s so valuable, you know him. He was only twenty when you and the King decided to take him to court because you trusted his abilities and his morals, and you put my life in his hands. You saw him walking these halls and act no worse than any other nobleman with a title. You loved him back then, and so did every other lady from the ton. People thought he was a Prince from a faraway land for the way he carried himself, and for his composure, his way with words, and his intellect. He is the best man that could ever stay by my side in this.”
Her mother smiled, holding back a smirk. “You sacrificed everything for your family, and you think I still need to hear all of this to give you my blessings? You think that as a mother I didn’t see the way you two looked at each other, dear? I couldn’t swear there was something going on, but the level of trust and friendship you had was far beyond a working relationship. Though, I must say, I believed you two would be able to put the flame down, especially you, Jaehyun.”
“It was my fault,” she chimed in. “He always tried to respect the limits between us, but I couldn’t and eventually he gave in. But you’re not mad, right?”
She chuckled, “Mad? And for what? Because you found love? Because you bloomed into an amazing, brilliant woman who fights for what she wants? I truly loved your father, dear, but I would’ve never done what you did for him and her. How could I come between a love so strong if not even the Gods above did?”
They both smiled, looking at each other, and then looking at Eunbi... or where she was before. “Where is she now?” Scarlett almost screamed, panicking when she saw she wasn’t on the sofa anymore.
“Book!” Eunbi screamed on the other side of the room where the small library was.
“Yes, baby, a book, so many books but you can’t read them yet,” she reminded her, walking toward her with hurried steps. Walking was a blessing and a curse at the same time with her. Scarlett had hoped that she was going to stop being so active, but nothing changed over the years.
“Johnny teaches me,” Eunbi complained, standing on her tippy toes, trying to grab one.
“Yeah, but those are books for you.”
“Does she know how to read?” The Queen asked Jaehyun as they stared at the scene in front of them.
“A little bit, not full phrases but she occasionally can guess some easy words.”
“Well, that’s impressive for her age.”
“It is, but she mostly enjoys hearing those stories. Taeyong and Johnny love reading them to her.”
“I feel like I’m missing something,” the Queen chuckled, feeling her head getting dizzier and dizzier with everything they said to her.
“Oh, yeah, at the start we used to live with some friends of mine. They are her uncles.”
The Queen was about to ask for more, wanting to catch up on how they lived during those years away, but Scarlett preceded her.
“About them,” Scarlett chimed in after finally finding an old book with drawings to keep Eunbi occupied. “I would need another favour, Mother.”
“Everything for you, dear,” she reassured her, holding her hand. “We should also celebrate to have you back.”
The King’s chamber was quiet, with the guards standing straight at every corner. Not that they were needed anymore. Death didn’t knock on the King’s door through criminal hands, She gently walked in and decided to take him with Her.
Slowly and painful. For him, at least.
Because right now that Scarlett was standing at the feet of his bed, looking up and down at him, just like he had always looked at her, she felt an unexpected, thrilling pleasure rush through her bones. Somehow that felt to be exactly his place.
That was the end he deserved, in her dreams with only fewer people mourning for him.
She looked around and saw the ladies and noblemen shedding tears, and she chuckled lightly before turning back and siding next to Jaehyun.
“You don’t seem sad,” he whispered, looking at her, the black veil shielding her face from being seen, the only sign of mourn she carried around along with her black dress and black gloves.
“He didn’t mourn for me when I died,” she replied, crossing her arms while her eyes scanned the room, landing on her mother’s hand tightened around the King’s one, his hold weak; it was just a matter of seconds. And she wondered if her mother still loved him. She wondered how her mother could still love him, or feel any ounce of compassion and empathy for a being like him. She wouldn’t have held Jaehyun’s hand on his death bed if he only dared to treat Eunbi how her father treated her. If he did, she probably would’ve been the very reason why Jaehyun would’ve been on that bed. And yet, her mother was there, at his side until his last breath. Nevertheless, she had no idea if it was to keep up to the oaths on their wedding day and what the ton expected from her, or if it was her heart begging her to once again kneel beside a man that wasn’t worth it.
“We can leave if you want to,” Jaehyun whispered, hoping for a yes because he didn’t want to stay there longer, but Scarlett shook her head.
“I want to stay,” she answered, shrugging. “I don’t want to lose his last show. I’d very much love to be the last thing he sees before passing away only to make sure I will haunt his eternal suffering.”
Jaehyun nodded, crossing his hands behind his back, studying the other people in the room. He too wondered how real their tears were, and how many of them had waited for this day to come, praying hard at night to the Saints and Gods. He wasn’t one of them, no matter how much he hated him, but now that death was seeping into the room, biding time before snatching the King’s soul away, he couldn’t help but feel relieved.
And it seemed like death truly wanted to take Her sweet time, making him contort and cry in pain, playing with the clock that kept turning. Hours passed by before She finally snapped, grabbed Her axe and cut the string of his life, making him exhale one last breath, probably of relief, considering the pain of his last hours.
And the smirk that curled Scarlett’s lips felt peculiarly cruel and bloody. Yet, she didn’t leave. She stayed there, watching people come and go, waiting for the maids to carry her mother’s body away from the dead one of her husband.
And only once she was left alone, her feet dragged her close to the bed again, but this time at his side.
A tender smile formed on her lips as her eyes scanned the relaxed, yet still pained expression on his face. “How much have I loved you, trying so hard to make you love me back,” she chuckled bitterly. “Only to think we could’ve had it all, if only you didn’t hate me so much for a stupid belief that women can’t be enough to reign,” she huffed, and then pushed the black veil out of her face, a grin on her lips, “It’s a shame you won’t see me in a crown.”
“I can’t believe I’m at the royal palace, have you ever thought you would find yourself here?” Johnny exclaimed, trying to fit into the suit they were given to wear.
“If the King wanted my head on a silver plate, maybe,” Yuta replied, hating the way the clothes hugged his body. “You wore those every day, man?”
Jaehyun sighed, rolling his eyes, and then adjusting the buttons. “You can survive for just one night, maybe you’ll even find a Lady of your liking. If somebody can stand you.”
“Yeah, and what kind of money do I offer her?”
“The money you’ll be making to be the jewellery that creates the crown jewels,” Scarlett answered, entering the door.
“Hey! What if we were naked?” Doyoung complained, covering his already covered body with his hands.
“The first time you saw me, I was leg spread on the couch being split in two. I think we can say we left the concept of privacy far behind, also considering every single one of you have seen my boobs probably more than Jaehyun did.”
“Fine,” he replied as the other chuckled under their breaths.
“Can we still court them if we’re not nobles? Wouldn’t they be looking out for somebody with a background family of some importance?” Yuta asked, going back to their conversation.
“You don’t need a high society woman, Yuta. You wouldn’t last a second with someone raised like they are.”
“I get along with you, you’re next to be Queen. How can I not get along with a Duchess?”
“I am the last person you should compare to them,” she replied. “Also, get ready swiftly and put these badges on your coats.”
“I thought you weren’t giving us honorary titles?”
“It’s all up to you. My mom says she would be very glad to, but I suggested we could wait. Let all of you open your shops, do something for the society and then give you, and some other shoppers, a title. Or something like that.”
“Is a title necessary? Doesn’t it come with a lot of responsibilities? I don’t think I want them,” Mark replied, looking at himself in the mirror, loving the way the expensive fabric felt on his skin. “We’re here, we won’t have to fight for fine materials anymore. And we’re best friends with the Queen and the King.”
“Calm now,” Scarlett told him. “We’re not Queen and King yet. But yes, if you don’t want titles then we’re fine like this.”
“Can we come to visit you even without that?” Taeyong asked.
“You will see Eunbi, yes,” she replied, smiling at him. “Actually, I was thinking, we could find somebody else to help Jaemin with the bakery and you could be her main caretaker. I would feel much safer knowing she’s with you than anybody else. And also, you’re the only one that knows how to keep her calm.”
“Are you serious? You want me to be there with her?” He stood up from his seat, eyes sparkling while he stared at her in surprise.
“Yeah, are you okay with —”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes, I want to,” he exclaimed, rushing to hold her in a tight hug.
“This is so unfair, he will become her favourite soon,” Johnny whined.
“Oh, please, she loves you. Also, when it’s the time you’ll have one yourself with Juilet?”
“No, thanks. Watching other kids is fun, having one of your own is not. Juliet and I are perfectly fine like this.”
She smiled and then said, “We should also plan for your wedding.”
“You? I thought you became a Queen, not an event assistant.”
“Shut up, I won’t plan it. But I’ll give you the palace for free and I could pick things with her. Maybe even design her dress. I want to design mine, would it be a bad idea, Jaehyun?”
“I think you should relax, is the wedding such an urge?”
“Well, no, but also, yes.”
“Are you once again thinking about what the ton will think? They know, we have a three years old baby running around the palace, she will be at our side during events. A wedding now won’t make us go back to being saints. And you also know damn well nobody crossing these halls is holy, married or not.”
“I have a feeling he knew all the spicy things that happened back then,” Mark joked but agreed with him.
“Everybody knows them, they just make less rumours than us.”
“Are you fine, dear?” The Queen asked, staring at her daughter’s face as the maid finished fixing Scarlett’s hair in a beautiful hairstyle.
“Yeah, it’s just weird having so many people doing things for me again,” she confessed and one of the youngest handmaidens smiled at her through the mirror.
“Your Highness, I know it shall not be my place, but I admire you so much,” she confessed, making her turn around in stupor.
“Oh, and what for?”
“The way you fought for love and then came back to save your reign and the people from falling into stranger’s hands. I’ve always known I could count on you when the throne was to be passed. I was truly saddened by the announcement of your passing, the whole town mourned you for days, we felt hopeless. But now, knowing that for years you had been one of us doesn’t make us feel so lonely anymore.”
She smiled softly at her, “It is my duty, and I hope I will not let you down.”
“I am sure you will not, Your Highness.”
She beamed, and whispered, “You may call me Scarlett if you want to,” making them giggle and then walk back when the Queen glared at the three.
“Your Highness, your daughter is giving us trouble falling asleep,” another maid entered the room, exhausted look on her face, or well, something more than exhausted.
“Oh, I will come and see her.”
“The jewels,” her mother called, pointing at the set of pearls that she still had to wear.
“I’ll wear it later,” she replied, walking out of the room, not paying mind to her mother’s annoyed expression.
“I’m sorry, but she keeps calling you and her father and she says she does not like us,” she explained, and Scarlett sighed before humming lowly.
“She doesn’t mean it like that. We are used to spending some time together before bedtime, and she’s simply not used to you. I also think this place is so big it can get overwhelming for her.”
The maid nodded and then opened the door of the nursery. “Eunbi, baby,” Scarlett cooed, walking to her as soon as she saw the state she was in, screaming and crying, sitting on a chair as other women were around her trying to calm her down. “Mama’s here,” she tranquillized her, lulling her in her arms.
“Where were you?” She asked, trying to talk through the sniffles and sobs.
“I was getting ready, little bird.”
“I want to be with you and Papa,” she cried, clinging her small fist around her dress, afraid she was going to leave her again with people she didn’t like. They were all strangers and, as nice as they were, they weren’t her parents or her uncles and aunt.
Scarlett sighed, before looking at the maids that were shaking their heads, already imagining what she was proposing.
“Why not?”
“With all respect, my lady, but she’s a little too energetic. It’s the first ball of the season, the royal ball, and we are not allowed in the hall.”
“That’s right,” she agreed, waving her hand, “you are dismissed, a night of rest, you must have your own things to do. Some cakes won’t be served tonight, you can go in the kitchen and eat them and have a party together or whatever.”
“Your Highness, you shall take care of the guests tonight, you cannot think about the baby.”
“I traveled two countries while I carried my baby. I gave birth in a home with just one doctor and my two dearest friends. I took care of a house and worked in a tailor shop while thinking of my baby, so I’m more than sure I can take care of her and some guests while hosting my ball.”
“We didn’t mean to,” one of them started apologizing but she stopped them right away.
“No need to apologize. But I don’t want you to think that she’s a weight for you. I put her in this world, and I will take care of her with her father. You are here to help if it’s needed, and I can assure you, right now, it’s not. Take care of yourself for tonight,” she said with a smile on her face, grabbing a bag with everything necessary to fix her for the night. “And I’m sure she’ll grow to love you, right, baby?”
Eunbi nodded against her mom’s shoulder and then they walked out of the door, leaving the other women speechless.
“If you wanted a fancy dress, you could’ve told me this afternoon,” Scarlett joked, walking toward her room again.
Eunbi chuckled, “I wanted a lullaby, they don’t know how to sing.” Her nose turned up at the memory of one of them trying to sing to convince her to sleep, but nothing could come close to the sound of her father’s voice and her mother harmonizing together.
Scarlett laughed, “Oh, you won’t get a lullaby but I’m sure grandma called the best orchestra in town to play for tonight. Would you like it anyway?”
Eunbi nodded happily, clapping her hands while smiling brightly at the idea. She had no idea of what exactly was going on around her. She didn’t know why they didn’t live in their small house anymore and she had no idea for how long they were going to stay there, but she liked it. It was new, it was exciting, and it was full of sparkling things.
“What is she doing here?” The Queen asked, eyes wide open after she blinked repeatedly to make sure she was seeing right.
“Guess why? I think this will be her first public appearance.”
“But Your Highness, she doesn’t have a proper dress, she doesn’t know how to behave,” a maid replied and then Queen nodded.
“I have designed a dress that can fit for tonight, I’m glad I bought it with me when I packed. And I know that she’s joyful, but she is polite, she’s just three, let her be. I can take care of her.”
“You are back in society after everything that happened, you know things can’t go wrong,” The Queen reminded her, walking toward her that was already changing Eunbi into the new dress.
“It won’t go wrong, mother, please, trust me.”
The Queen sighed and then stared at Eunbi that was actually letting her mother dress her up, closing the back of her baby blue dress, fitting perfectly the theme of the night.
“You made it?”
“What?”
“The dress.”
“Yeah, I worked in a tailoring, discovered I’m pretty good at it.”
“Your Highness made it?” A maid asked curiously, and she nodded. “You sure are a rare gem, so gifted in every aspect.”
“Oh, I am flattered, thank you.”
“May we help you with her?” Another one asked, smiling politely at her.
“Could you do her hair?”
“Sure, we could give her the same style we gave you,” they replied. “You’ll look amazing.”
“Yes, like Mama!” Eunbi chanted, looking at the two maids with a wide smile, making their hearts melt.
“Should we walk to the vanity table, Princess?” They proposed to her, reaching out a hand which she grabbed immediately, walking to the table with small jumps, trying to climb on the chair alone, and succeeding soon.
“Oh, you’re so strong, honey,” a maid praised, and she gifted her a smile full of pride.
“Thank you, I work out,” she replied, leaning closer to the table amazed by the shiny object.
“Do you?” A maid asked as they started to work on her hair, and she nodded.
“With uncle Johnny,” she explained cheerfully. “He’s stronger than me.”
“And what do you do with him? Push—ups?”
Scarlett chuckled, at ease that Eunbi seemed to be comfortable enough with them compared to the other maids.
“She’s a lot,” her mother said with a smirk on her face. “Be careful of uncomfortable questions she might ask tonight.”
“I’m sure she will be more mesmerized by the lights and flowers and all the shiny things. She mostly loves to talk about the things that she knows, and she also has a vivid imagination, she might entertain people with her weird made—up stories.”
The Queen chuckled, “She also has a heart of gold, you two did an amazing job raising her.”
“I thought you were going to criticize me,” she giggled.
“How can I? I wasn’t half as present for you as you are for her. I’m proud of you, Scarlett.”
“What is she doing here?” Jaehyun asked, he was waiting behind the wooden door that led to the stairs of the main hall, fitted in his new suit, not the one of the bodyguard, but one made just for him.
“Papa,” Eunbi screamed, running to Jaehyun, hugging his leg.
“She was supposed to stay inside,” he said to Scarlett that just shrugged and reached his side.
“She’s here,” she replied, running her hand over her corset, not used to wearing these types of clothes anymore.
“Yeah, I can see.”
“Papa,” she called, looking up at him, “two beautiful ladies made my hair.”
“Styled, honey, they styled your hair,” he corrected. “And I see they did an amazing job, you look beautiful.”
“Thank you, Dada. You look beautiful too.” He smiled at her, watching as she kept touching the pearls that decorated her hair, and then turned to Scarlett.
“Is this a good idea?”
“She was screaming like crazy, she doesn’t get along with her ladies.”
“Oh, nice. Well, does she knows about Yong, yet?”
“Not, yet. I think we should tell her after she starts to get along with at least one of them,” she joked. “What if he can’t be here for other reasons? We won’t be able to always have free time to look after her,” she explained, making him hum in agreement, and then she kneeled to talk to her directly.
“This is a very important night, honey. I know you’re not used to all of this, and I know this isn’t the life you expected to have but this is our reality now. We’ll meet so many people, welcoming us into the society again and,” she stopped, trying to form the words and Jaehyun kneeled next to her.
“Just know that you have to smile at them, don’t make any bad remarks, and well, no jumping or running around.”
“Okay, I’ll be good, like a princess, right? The one we see in the movie.”
“Yeah, just like them.”
“Scarlett, Jaehyun,” the Queen called them. “They are all here. I shall go first, and then I’ll invite you in. Are you ready?”
They looked at each other and then nodded.
When the trumpets played and the doors opened, Scarlett felt her heart drop for a second but Jaehyun’s hands intertwining with her made her relax for a moment.
“It’ll be alright, love,” he whispered, straightening his back and looking forward. And she couldn’t help but smile back while also holding Eunbi’s little hand in hers.
“Dear guests,” her mother chanted, “We’re very pleased to have you all here. This is surely not the first ball of the season we were expecting to host with the sudden, unexpected and saddening passing of the King. I am deeply sorrowful by the occurrence, but we must move on. We must celebrate life, new beginnings, and new comebacks. In the darkness of these past days, a newfound light shined on us and will shine on all of you. Brighter than ever before. I am delighted to let you know that this reign won’t fall into foreign hands. I am pleased to announce the return of the very honourable heir that this reign ever had. The future Queen and King of Havenglow.”
The trumpets played again as the Queen stepped aside and people murmured, curios and thrilled just as surprised as they were.
Scarlett tightened the hold around both of their hands and then they all stepped inside.
The room went quiet immediately and for a moment she felt like passing out, regretting having accepted what Donghyuck proposed, not even finding him in the crowd, and feeling that having the people she loved the most at her side wasn’t enough. But then her father crossed her mind, that was what he wanted, to see her fall apart. So she smiled and straightened her back; that was what she was made for.
“Good evening, everybody,” she greeted with a welcoming smile on her face. “I could repeat what the Queen said about the sad news about the parting of the King, but I do believe this night is not made to mourn the death but just as she said to celebrate life. I am very aware of the surprise on your faces and more so in your hearts. I disappeared and was declared dead, so surely seeing me here now, was the last thing any of you expected. Even more with a man and a child by my side. I am, in fact, also aware of all the rules I did not respect, of the sins, as most of you might want to call, I have committed. But I am also aware that none of us in this room is certainly a saint,” she chuckled, looking around, purposefully laying her gaze on the people she remembered sinned the most. “I do believe, however, that expecting perfection from human beings is quite an absurdity and I think we shall focus on the present good things that life has to offer, as wrong as they may seem. I do hope you won’t judge me for the love I gave and fought for, but I do hope you will trust me, knowing I will fight for my country just as much as I fought to be free of loving who I truly wanted and the child of what bonds us together. This new season will also bring new couples together and I hope you won’t let a rank come between you and the person you love. I know that darkness fell on this country a long time ago, even before my sudden department, even before the King’s illness. I am sure that I do have all the ability to take the throne and reign with the right strength and will to make the sun shine again and bring prosperity to our land. I hope you will not look back at my past with shame or judgment, but I hope you will carry me through the future that I have planned for all of us.”
The room broke out into a wave of claps and cheers, and she finally breathed again before looking back at her mother that seemed rather surprised at the outcome of her first public speech.
“May the ball begin,” she declared, waving a hand to the orchestra before turning around to reach the Queen and make their way down the stairs.
“You are insane,” her mother whispered next to her, making her giggle lowly.
“For being honest? Isn’t that what a Queen should do? If I hid something from them it would’ve made it worst.”
“I guess the rhetoric classes came to be useful,” Jaehyun joked. “You were amazing.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, still holding his hand tight.
As soon as they reached the floor they were crowded with people politely bowing to them and asking for a talk.
“Your Highness,” they bowed as she smiled back at them, nudging Jaehyun that was about to bow too, and holding back a laugh at how he surely wasn’t used to the reversed roles.
“Lady Miyamoto, am I right?”
“Yes, Your Highness, it’s an honour you still remember and it fills me with joy to know you are safe and back to lead our country.”
“I’m glad to hear it, hope you can support me in this journey.”
“Is she your child?” The lady then asked, looking at Eunbi that was busy glancing around.
“She is,” Scarlett smiled at her. “She was actually supposed to be sleeping by now but what can I say, balls are tempting even at such a young age.”
Lady Miyamoto smiled fondly at the kid that looked up at her and waved. “Hello,” Eunbi greeted, waving her hand. “Your dress is beautiful; lilac is my favourite colour.”
“Oh,” the woman almost gasped, surprised at how chatty she was. “I will surely wear it more often when I’ll be invited at the royal’s events, then.”
Eunbi nodded, and then the attention was back at the room.
“I shall take her with me,” the Queen proposed, reaching out her hand to the kid that grabbed it swiftly, excited to see more. “Go chat with the guests, honey.”
“I shall let you talk with others, Your Highness, it was an honour meeting you.”
“It was nice to talk to you, Lady Miyamoto,” she greeted before moving around the room to meet other guests.
“Your highness,” Lady Fernsby smiled at them. “I always said you were to make an amazing King, definitely your face and your composure much more elevated to be only a bodyguard.”
Jaehyun smiled, bowing his head before Scarlett coughed. “Oh, yes, I think I’m going to drag this with me for a long time,” he joked, making everybody chuckle.
“You have always been such a nice man; I remember when you pulled me out of the lake in the country house and didn’t say a word to save my reputation.”
“The less I could do for an amazing lady like you,” he replied, lips pulled in a polite smile.
“You two are indeed the brightest diamonds that ever crossed these halls. I feel blessed to know you will be the one leading the country, I am sure you will do exemplary.”
“Thank you so much, Lady Fernsby, you always had nice words for me.”
“It is what you deserve. May life only bring happiness to the three of you. I glimpsed at the little lady, she seems joyful.”
“She sure is. Not much different from her mother, I still remember all the chaos I caused when I was young before Irina came and finally taught me how to be a proper lady.”
“It was funny, you cheered all of us quite often.”
“Glad to hear it, hope she will bring just as much happiness as I did.”
After what felt ages, they had greeted everybody and Jaehyun sighed, walking to an empty corner. “God, I had forgotten how exhausting this was.”
“Oh, come on, it won’t be like this at other events. It was our first public appearance, we made an amazing impression,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “You’re not regretting this, right?”
He shook his head, “No, I just was overwhelmed, well, positively, considering they all seemed accepting. I hope they mean their nice words for real and this is not just fake niceties.”
“I’m sure it’s not, they all saw me grow up, they know I am better than my father. It was just shocking at first, we are quite an unusual thing. I can’t wait to read what the journal will write about this.”
Jaehyun laughed, “You still love gossip, don’t you?”
“Yeah, especially about this first night. They decided the best dresses and the worst, and you have no idea about the ladies breaking down crying for their low ranks.”
“And you were always at the top.”
“As it should be.”
“Maybe it was because they didn’t want to get in trouble,” he joked.
“Or because I look good even in a bedsheet,” she winked with a teasing smirk on her face.
“True.”
“Isn’t it weird?”
“What? That you look good in everything?”
“No, silly. How the last time we’ve been here it was the end of our story. How I danced with Donghyuck as the realization hit us both. How we thought we were over.”
“Indeed, it is. I never imagined I was going to hold your hand in public and be called Your Highness, but life’s unexpected.”
She smiled and moved a little closer to him. “Are you sure you truly want this? Are you sure I’m not asking you too much? That I’m not forcing you into a role you don’t want?”
“Scarlett, I would follow you everywhere. If I could’ve, I would’ve married you three years ago. I never wanted anything else but to be by your side. I’m simply not used to this life, not from this point of view. I just need time to adjust to this new role but I’ve been adjusting to so many things, I can promise you this won’t take much time.”
“I don’t want to rush you, I just want you to give yourself value. I know it must come natural to bow at them but you are next to be King, brag about that,” she winked at him, swinging her hips against his before walking toward the centre again, mostly looking for Eunbi.
“You know what’s also different, now?” He asked, reaching her, and she hummed, waiting for his answer. “That we can’t sneak out of this room anymore.”
She laughed, lowering her head to don’t show it, and then coughed to gain back her composure. “Shut up and don’t tempt me, I am still very much unhinged.”
“Maybe the next ball where we’ll have less attention on us,” he proposed with a playful smirk.
“Oh, dears, you are here. How was it?” The Queen asked, turning around with Eunbi in her arms.
“Fine, they were all so nice,” she replied with a smile on her face. “Aren’t you getting a little too spoiled, little one?” She asked, bopping the kid’s nose that chuckled at her.
“I saw my uncles, Yuta was talking with a pretty lady,” she whispered, scrunching her nose.
“Oh,” Scarlett gasped, pretending to be surprised, “Was he? Are you getting another aunt before the end of the season?”
“She’s smart, she told me she speaks five languages,” she added.
“It’s lady Heroux’s second daughter, she definitely is a smart lady.”
“Oh, I remember her, we used to play together when we went to the countryside. When are we hosting a ball there?”
“Midseason, don’t you remember?”
“Oh, not really. Shouldn’t you put her down?”
“I want Johnny,” Eunbi said as the Queen put her down again.
“I don’t know where he is, oh, here you are,” she said when Johnny placed a hand around her shoulder.
“Am I allowed to do this or should I be escorted away from you?” He joked.
“If you did it when I was her bodyguard, I would’ve already stabbed you,” Jaehyun replied with a low chuckle.
“Thank God, you’re not anymore.”
“Don’t show that you’re so close, though,” the Queen warned him, almost rolling her eyes, feeling they were going to make her go insane one of these days. She had got the chance to know them during the first dinner when they arrived there and they were very nice men but surely not used to the court rules at all. And had no limits between each other, she was speechless to find out how her daughter had given birth.
“Not to go against the Queen’s words but won’t this be useful to bring clients to our jewellery store? How are we going to create the best jewels for the crown if we don’t have money?”
“We will give enough money to you, darling, no need to worry.”
“Oh, let it slide, mother. He is engaged, I am too, a little hand on the shoulder is definitely not the scandal of the night when we exist.”
“Whatever, I am going to entertain the guests, leave you with the little devil.”
“Come here to Johnny, little devil,” Johnny chanted, kneeling to grab Eunbi.
“We carry her up more now than when she was a little kid.”
“Now she’s a woman,” Jaehyun joked.
“Oh, please, you know what I meant.”
“I couldn’t find you,” Juliet said, finally reaching them. “Of course, holding her.”
“Are you jealous?” Johnny smirked.
“No, but I do wonder sometimes if you love her more than you love me,” she chuckled.
“You have to forgive him, like he and Taeyong love to say, they birthed her with me.”
Juliet laughed and then said, “I’ll let this slide just because I too love her so much, right baby?” She cooed, sending her a flying kiss that she caught giggling. “By the way, you were amazing during the speech. I don’t know how you didn’t panic, and you were so convincing, you surely will be an amazing Queen.”
“Thank you, Jules, it was nerve—wracking, but the silent judgment was even worst, so…”
“Can I talk to you after I fed you and your kid for three years or are you unreachable already?” Renjun’s high voice reached them making her turn around.
“Where have you been? I couldn’t find you,” she exclaimed, hugging him.
“I was busy spreading the word of my business, fueling the rumours about you working with me in the past, hope it works since I gave up my first shop in my hometown to come here with you.”
“As if you can live without your two best friends. Jaemin and Jeno packed their bags faster than the wind when the offer was given, you wouldn’t have stayed there without them.”
“Caught, but I still hope this will be successful. Also, I’ll miss having you around,” Renjun confessed with a sad smile curling his lips.
“You’ll surely find somebody else, maybe Juliet. You looked interested in the matter, right?”
“Oh, I did, but I never worked in a similar place,” she confessed.
“Neither did I when I first arrived. You should try. Well, unless you don’t have other interests, I don’t want to force you to work with him.”
“No, you’re not forcing me. I wouldn’t want to be a burden for him.”
“Maybe for now you might help with the front desk and then we’ll see,” Renjun proposed. “And you will send me design ideas sometimes.”
“I’ll be busy with my duties, Junie, I can’t,” Scarlett replied.
“Talking about duties,” The Queen intervened, now standing behind the small group. “Your first dance of the night and the season. A waltz.”
“Sure, I almost forgot,” she whispered.
Jaehyun walked past her and then leaned out his hand, “May I have this dance?”
She smiled, grabbing his hand, and then answered, “I’d be delighted, my King.”
Walking to the middle of the room while people made way for them and they had no need to hide in the corridors room, felt new and never imagined before. They didn’t have to hide anymore. They could dance for real and not only do that in the gardens with the faint music playing from the windows. They could hold hands, talk with each other freely, and more.
She felt her heart jump in her chest when his hand placed on the small of her back as the other stayed tied with hers in the air. “This feels surreal,” she whispered, sparkling eyes looking up at him. Chest warming up at seeing how relaxed he was, it wasn’t like back then when he was terrified of being found with her and his hands would shake and his steps skip.
Jaehyun smiled fondly and then said, “But luckily for us it’s real. Can’t believe the practice we used to have together in your room after the dance classes turned out useful.”
She chuckled, “Or the dancing in the small kitchen back at Seashore.”
“I’m kind of sad we had to leave that house, we spent weeks putting it back together.”
“My mother said we can redo some rooms here if we want to, we could do it ourselves.”
“Maybe this time around Eunbi can help with something instead of just crawling around and making us panic over the smallest things.”
“Yes, sure, she’s going to run around this time making us panic,” she replied with a giggle, briefly looking back and seeing that she was dancing in Johnny’s arms as they playfully imitated the waltz movements. “We should redo the guests’ rooms for the boys, customize them based on their likings. And maybe also the hall, it’s kind of old, isn’t it?”
“If we look at how old the place is, we should redo everything, love,” he replied, eyes drifting from her face to look at the room for a second. It had been years, and nothing had changed, probably it only worsened. “But yes, we can surely add a breath of fresh air starting with some rooms.”
“I don’t want our room to be my parent’s one,” she confessed, leaving in her brain the fact that, if she could’ve, she would’ve burned it. “Can we use my old room and decorate it together? Maybe we could make it bigger and tear down the wall that divided our rooms.”
Jaehyun smiled, oh how much he had dreamed to do that back then. He couldn’t even describe the hate he felt toward that mass of bricks that separated them. “Like a symbol of victory?”
“Yeah, also. You have no idea how much I hated that wall between us back then. You were just on the other side and yet you could never be close to me. But now it’s not like that anymore.”
He beamed at her and then said, “We’ll definitely do it.”
“And I also want Eunbi to be closer to us until she’s little, then we can change her to whatever room she likes but for now I want to have her close.” She wasn’t paranoic but she couldn’t understand how her mother slept knowing that the nursery was so far away from their chamber. Oh well, thinking about it, it was because she had been raised by maids. If she cried there was a maid wiping her tears and feeding her milk, if she had nightmares there was a maid singing her a lullaby or reading her a story. And as much as she knew her mother loved her, she wondered why she didn’t love her just as much as she loved Eunbi.
Scarlett wouldn’t ever be able to sleep at night, knowing that her kid was probably crying and calling her name and some other woman was there instead to dry her little face. She was her mother, she had decided to put her in this world, even if she wasn’t expected, Scarlett wanted Eunbi with every cell of her body, so what was the point of wanting her and then not taking care of her? And for a moment the thought that not even her mother really wanted her hit, but Jaehyun dragged her out of her thoughts…
“You’re already thinking about when she’ll be a teenager?”
She shook her head, trying to focus on the music and their conversation and not let sadness take over, “I’m just saying. Not even a teenager, maybe, when she’s eight?”
He nodded, nose scrunching up at the idea of her being so big… eight years old, that was just four years away, and considering how fast the past four years passed… “I don’t want to think about it, let me enjoy that small troublemaker.”
She chuckled, and then went silent, thinking about something that was going on in her brain for a lot of time now. And Jaehyun got it from the way her eyes were looking at him, daydreaming about something she wanted him to know but yet was too afraid to confess.
“What’s running in that mind?”
“Nothing, I mean, not something we can have right now.”
Jaehyun raised a brow, and then knitted them together; didn’t they already have everything they could ask for? “What’s something we can’t have now? A horse? Another house? What’s missing?”
“No, it’s not about the economical stability, it’s just that it will be a worry and we can’t add it to the list. There’s our wedding to think about first, the coronation, Johnny and Juliet’s wedding, and our new roles.”
“Are you thinking about what I think you’re thinking?” He asked, a smug smirk on his face curling his lips and making his dimples pop out.
She sighed as they kept moving with the music. “It’s been more than three years since we had her, and a part of me wants to focus on her but a small, small part wants another one. I want you to be by my side this time around, I want to live a tranquil pregnancy, for what it can be, and I want to make our family grow,” she confessed, staring into his eyes. This wasn’t a talk they had the chance to have for Eunbi, at least not with a sober mind, not in between dirty sheets and lust—hazed brains. Back then it was just a game, a joke.
Jaehyun smiled, ears turning red as he tried to hide it by lowering his head.
“You were thinking about this too!” She squealed.
“Shh, don’t scream. But yes,” he admitted, “I didn’t want to pressure you. Also, things just started going well, I thought that adding another family member was dumb and reckless.”
Scarlett let out a sigh, and tightened the hold on their intertwined hands, “I thought I was going crazy for how badly I wanted another one.”
Jaehyun shook his head to reassure her. If he had to be honest, he wanted another one far before then just some months ago, not being there for her during the first one had killed him. “Well, after the wedding and everything, we could try.”
“But what if it’s too soon for her? What if we can’t love her the same? Or even for us, she’s still young and she’s a lot to take.”
“She’s showered with love, I’m sure she won’t miss any. And if everything goes well at the first try, which I doubt we’ll be that lucky again, she’ll be fourth and a half old.”
Scarlett hummed, “It’s so weird to plan it, though. Is it how people normally do?”
“You’re not planning it, you’re just making sure everybody’s okay with the possible arrival of a baby. Don’t stress yourself over this. It will be fine,” he reassured her, the hand on her back doing small circles and then the music stopped.
They pulled apart, small smiles on their faces, and bowed at each other before walking to the side again.
“You are good dancers,” Eunbi cheered as soon as they came back to her.
“Do you want to dance with Daddy?” Jaehyun proposed, asking for her hand, smiling when she grabbed it and dragged him to the dance floor.
“Uh, uh, the journals are going to be filled with gossip tomorrow,” Johnny sang, siding Scarlett that was looking at the scene, while he was busier watching the looks on the others’ faces.
“I think the ton will be filled with things to talk about for a long time,” she replied, smirking and then turning to him as they laughed way too loudly for the occasion. “I seriously need to go back to being serious. You are a terrible company, Johnny.”
“You loved my company in the past years, and I was the best person that could’ve been by your side,” he replied.
“You were,” she agreed, “I mean, you are. Maybe not very fitting for this place, but it will do. People will get used to it.”
“I can’t believe that this is scandalous,” Johnny confessed. He totally got why it was, but he didn’t get how it was a problem to start with. “Your father never danced like this with you?” He asked, eyes now focused on Jaehyun that was bent, trying to dance and at the same time hold Eunbi’s hands while she moved to the rhythm and laughed loudly at every missed step of her father.
Scarlett pursed her lips together, pushing down the lump in her throat at his words, “No. He never even said he loved me,” she confessed, a small, bitter chuckle rolling out of her lips. “He had never been proud of me in any way. He never held my hand while I was struggling on my feet to take my first steps, he never rushed to be back here afraid he would miss my first words. And nothing changed when I was big enough to truly understand how much he couldn’t stand me,” she whispered the last words while her head faced the marble floor for a split second before looking again at Jaehyun and Eunbi. “I spent my entire life trying to change him, trying to be the best daughter he could’ve ever wished for. I even thought that maybe he was right at being so stern with me, I had to be good enough to be a Queen and he just wanted me to be my absolute best but now,” she had to stop to take a deep breath, and then went on, “now I know that I wasn’t the problem. I look at Eunbi and I’m so proud already and I do not really care what she’ll become as long as she’ll be happy. And you have no idea how glad I am to know that I ended up with Jaehyun and life didn’t tear us apart because she won’t ever have to fight for his love, she won’t have to get on bleeding knees and beg for him to look at her with kindness instead of disgust. She is loved, deeply, and I hope she can feel it.”
Johnny’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, not caring that people could see, “I’m sure she knows,” he reassured her. “You and Jaehyun are amazing parents, and I’m sure that even this new thing won’t change that for her.”
She smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder for a moment before the other two reached them once the orchestra finished playing the song.
“Honey, are you trying to put us through more scandals?” Jaehyun asked, raising a brow at where they were united. “He looks like he could be your new bodyguard, you don’t want people to say you have a thing for them, right?”
Johnny rolled his eyes and then moved back, letting Jaehyun take her side, while Scarlett winked at him, “But I do have a thing for bodyguards,” she whispered in his ears.
“Careful, I’m not one anymore,” he reminded her before Eunbi called for their attention and she simply smirked at him as a reply.
“Mama, did you see?” She asked, looking up at her while her hand pointed at the dance floor, “Was I good like you?”
Scarlett smiled tenderly, “Oh, sweetie, you are so much better than your Mama,” she replied with a sweet tone.
Eunbi smiled brightly, rocking her body around while her hand played together in embarrassment. “I told you I was better than her,” she said to her father and Jaehyun raised his hand in defence.
“I think that too, but I was trying to be nice with Mama,” he said.
“You two are always so cruel with me,” Scarlett played along, pretending to be offended, chin up and placing her fists at her sides.
“You do have a beautiful gown, Mama,” she said, running to hug her, face smashed against her leg. “And, don’t tell it,” she whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was listening, “but you are the prettiest lady in this room,” she smiled smugly, hiding her face in her dress again, making her parents laugh. “The prettiest lady in the whooole world.”
“Thank you, little bird,” she replied, kneeling at her height. “You are a very beautiful young lady too; I wonder where your parents are, I suppose they look amazing.”
She giggled, throwing her head back laughing, showing her small teeth. “They are also very kind, and they love me so much. You should try my Mommy’s Sunday cake, and my Daddy’s lullabies.”
Jaehyun kneeled too, and smiled at them, “maybe we could start with Daddy’s lullabies tonight, don’t you think so?” He proposed, eyeing the big clock in the middle of the ballroom. It wasn’t late for them, but for her, it was definitely past bedtime.
“Do I have to go to sleep?” She pouted, lower lip out and sweet doe eyes trying to corrupt them.
“Eyes closed, you’re not fooling Dada, baby,” he said, lifting her and tickling her.
“But dad!” She squealed between laughs, doing grabby hands to ask her mother to help.
“Dad’s right,” Scarlett told her when Jaehyun stopped the ‘torture’ and she calmed in his arms. “It’s way too late for you, Princess. You shouldn’t have even been here.”
“But here is pretty, everything shines,” she complained, still pouting.
“How are you not tired?” Jaehyun asked as they started walking out of the door while Scarlett informed the Queen they were going to put her to bed and then come back as soon as they could.
“Because I have this dress that gives me aaalll the energy in the world,” she said, spreading her arms in an exaggerated description.
“Really?” He pretended to be surprised. “So, it gives you superpowers?”
She nodded, smiling, and he almost melted when he saw his dimple pop out on her cheek and Scarlett’s wrinkles show under her eyes.
“Then we’ll have to take this beautiful dress off and get into your comfortable pjs with teddy bears, don’t you think so?”
“But that doesn’t have powers,” she whined, and then looked at her mom that reached them. Ballroom now long gone behind them as they kept walking down the corridors to reach the nursery. “I don’t want to sleep.”
“But you have to,” Scarlett said. “You’ve been up all day, and you danced all night, and you know that even superheroes must sleep, right? How do you fight if you’re tired?” She told her, having heard the conversation since the palace was silent in the halls.
“Fine, but will we ever come back there? I really like dancing,” she said, resting her head against Jaehyun’s shoulder, first sign that maybe she had decided to give in to sleep. That had always been her favourite position to fall asleep since she was little, an arm wrapped around his neck, the other hand flat against his chest and head against his shoulder.
“You can go there every time you want from now on,” Scarlett told her. “I don’t think you got it, but this will be our new home.”
And sleep was long gone when at those words she jumped up, staring back and forth at her parents with wide eyes. “This?”
“Yeah, we moved in here. And I know it’s big and I also know you won’t get what all of this means but this is our new home.”
“I love this,” she exclaimed, clapping her hands and Jaehyun put her down once they arrived in front of the nursery, opening the door to let her in. It was nice to see all the enthusiasm, and Scarlett hoped that she wouldn’t have cursed them once reality hit her, realizing how big this truly was.
“And what about my uncles and auntie?” She asked, running on the bed, climbing on it before sitting on the edge to remove her shoes, not gently at all.
Jaehyun chuckled, not even caring that she was overhyped once again and probably getting her to fall asleep would’ve taken more than one song. And Scarlett rolled her eyes, rushing to help her open the button on the back of her dress; she wanted to do way too much even when she didn’t have the ability to.
“They won’t go back, right?”
“No,” Scarlett replied, “You probably will see them a little bit less, but they all will be here.”
“It will be just like at home. When we moved out in our place you would see them occasionally, right?”
Eunbi nodded, standing up on the bed to push down the dress, and then started to jump on it.
“This bed is soft,” she said.
“Stop doing that,” Scarlett warned her, “what if you fall?”
“Dada will catch me,” she chuckled, still jumping up and down, laughing loudly.
“And Dada got you,” Jaehyun said, catching her midway. “If you fall back on the pins in your hair you’ll get hurt,” he warned her, sitting her on the vanity table chair to remove the pins from her styled hair.
Scarlett smiled at the scene of Jaehyun delicately taking care of her hair, removing all the ornaments, and then brushing them with his hands after dropping some droplets of oils on it. This weirdly felt like home, from the other side of the world, in a place that was twice as big, but it felt like home. Nothing had changed, and she hoped that things were going to stay the same with time.
“Can I put the pink bonnet on tonight?” Eunbi asked her mother, looking at her through the mirror while Jaehyun tied her hair in a big braid.
“Sure, it matches with your pjs,” her mother smiled at her, going back to the closet to grab another one. “Wear the clothes first. Come here,” Scarlett encouraged her to get up so she could put on the shirt and short pants of the nightwear.
“I can put it on alone,” she said, reaching for the silk bonnet and trying to push her hair in, but leaving the tip of the braid out and she huffed. “But I’m a big girl, now.”
Jaehyun smiled, “you are a big girl, but even big girls need help,” he reassured her, fixing the cap on her head, and gently kissing her forehead after.
“Right,” she smiled, kissing his cheek before raising her hands to her mother. “Kiss goodnight,” she asked doing kissy lips and Scarlett leaned so she could meet her cheek before kissing her back.
“I like this,” Eunbi said, jumping from the chair and running to the bed again, lifting the covers and laying down, waiting for her parents to sit next to her. “Do you like it here?” She asked, as much as she felt sleepy, she also felt excited about all of these changes. She couldn’t understand, in her heart, it just felt like a new exciting adventure but as long as she had her parents at her side, she knew she was going to be fine. They had many adventures in the past years and nothing went wrong, so, even if this felt bigger, it didn’t look scary at all. She found a grandmother, she had her uncles and aunt, her parents, and even some nice ladies that helped her get pretty for a dance. She felt loved as always.
“Yeah, we like being here,” Jaehyun replied, grabbing a chair to sit next to her, and signalling Scarlett to sit on his lap.
Eunbi smiled, “I’m happy. I can still read books with Johnny?”
“Yes, honey, you can do whatever you want. Nothing changed, not for the people that love you. We just moved to a bigger place,” Scarlett reassured her, caressing her hand, while Jaehyun started to caress her cheek.
“This room doesn’t have my things,” she noted, a small pout forming on her lips and a frown on her face.
“Not yet. Those things were mine, you know?”
Her eyes widened and so did her mouth, “Really? Even the shaking horse?”
“The rocking horse,” she corrected, laughing at the way she was convinced at saying that. “It’s a rocking horse, and yes, it was mine.”
She furrowed, “But it shakes.”
“Well, yes, but shaking it’s more like moving something with no direction, a little bit more no sense compared to rocking.”
“Can’t we call it shaking horse?”
“Yes, we can call it however you want,” she replied, smiling fondly.
“I like it better if it’s yours,” Eunbi admitted, smiling, wanting to talk more but feeling drowsy.
“Your things will come here, by the way. I know you’re not letting go of your toys,” Jaehyun reassured her. It wasn’t like she had many, unfortunately, they never could’ve afforded to spoil her, but she was quite good at not breaking them, so a lot lasted, and she ‘piled’ them over the years.
She hummed, smiling at them before letting her body slump back into the soft mattress and snuggle her head against the pillow, still holding her mother’s hand. “Song, please,” she whispered, so tired she had no strength to elaborate a full phrase.
“Your favourite?” Jaehyun asked and when she nodded with a sleepy smile on her face, he started singing.
It did take only one song, fortunately, for her to fall asleep but the idea of going back to the ballroom didn’t seem appealing to Jaehyun at all. Maybe he did hate those events a bit, especially when they were so full of people not only, he barely knew, but also couldn’t stand.
“Maybe we need to work on her being a little more delicate, especially if you’re going to dress her up like that,” Jaehyun joked as they closed the door behind and stayed there, leaning against the door.
“My mother will probably soon start the etiquette courses I had to take part in. Don’t worry, she will calm down.”
“I don’t want her to calm down, just to don’t hurt herself. Do you see her sitting prettily at a table or not talking even to walls?”
Scarlett chuckled, “Not really, but maybe with time,” she shrugged, grabbing his hand, and moving to head toward the ballroom, but Jaehyun pulled to the other side. “What?” She asked, turning around with a furrow.
A smirk crossed his face, eyebrow lifting teasingly, “Remember what we used to do back then?”
“Oh, no, we can’t do this now,” Scarlett replied, shaking her head.
“Oh, please, you could drag me out of those rooms when my head could’ve ended in the King’s hands and now I can’t?”
“We were… I wasn’t a Queen,” she muttered, trying to pull back.
“You are not one, yet, technically,” he corrected, pushing her close to him, chest to chest. “Come on, want to roleplay a little bit?”
She giggled, lowering her head from shame, “you want to be a bodyguard so bad, maybe you liked it?”
“I did. I mean, I liked being your bodyguard. Knowing I had to protect your life with mine made me feel like loving you made a little more sense.”
“But now you can have me.”
“Right here?”
“Not like that,” she cursed. “We’ve been missing for a long time.”
“We can blame it on her,” he insisted. “Isn’t it better to be there for the end of the ball? If we sneak out after, it’s going to be worst.”
Scarlett thought about that for a moment but then gave in, “Fine, but this is the first and last time we do that.”
Jaehyun laughed, “You also said that when we started,” he said before he started running to the other side of the corridor.
“Where are we going?” She asked through laughs, trying to don’t be too loud, knowing that probably some maids were still up, and holding up the dress to don’t fall miserably on the floor.
“Shh, you don’t want them to find us,” he reminded her, coming to a stop to take a breath.
“Where are we going?” She asked, but her eyes widened when Jaehyun only looked at her smirking. “He—here?” She asked hesitant, looking around. They were far from the ballroom, in one of the corridors of the castle with big windows letting the moonlight shine through and lit up torches on each side. And yes, no other people were awake, well except for the guards… but now that she thought about it, they were much less than before, she should’ve investigated that further…
“Are you with me?” Jaehyun asked, lifting her chin up.
“Y-yes. Do you know why there are so few guards around?”
Jaehyun rolled his eyes, “Are you seriously thinking about that, right now?”
“I mean, what if they see us, what if –” but he shut her up with a kiss.
“You never cared about this before, now, did you?”
She hummed, shaking her head, breathing heavily because she wanted him so badly. She missed feeling this type of rush running in her bones but right here, in the open corridor was such a bold move. But it had also been so long since they did something together, they never really had much time back at home, busy with work, Eunbi, and the general stress. Most of the time, their moments together were just falling asleep in each other’s arms or trying to make the best of the tasks to take care of the house together.
“If you keep quiet, nobody will hear us, love,” he said, lips running on the skin of her neck, slowly making her let her guard down, starting to drag her against the nearer wall. Why was she even acting as if that was the first time they did it? Once she let him fuck her almost right outside the ballroom door and they almost got caught.
“But don’t mess my hair, they can’t find out.”
He snickered, “Don’t worry, I plan on messing something else,” he whispered before his lips collided with hers and his hands moved under her dress, thankful she wore something that didn’t have much volume and he could easily push it up to have access.
Scarlett threw her head back while her hands tried hard to don’t intertwine in his hair and instead focused on his body, too, running over it as if it was a new land to explore and she didn’t already have it written down by heart.
“Come here,” she whispered, urging him closer to her so they could keep kissing.
“Got in the mood quickly,” he teased as he let one of his hands slip between her legs, rubbing against her sensitive core. “I love it when you get eager for more,” he whispered against her neck, kissing and nibbling her skin, “eager for me.”
She moaned, feeling a strangely pleasurable sting as the pins in her hair dug a little deeper into her scalp as her head pressed back into the marble wall behind her. And a shaky whimper slipped out of her lips when Jaehyun’s slid two fingers into her after moving the panties to the side, and started to pump in and out.
“Fu – fuck,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut, nails digging in his forearms.
“You like this, don’t you?” He asked, voice low, and eyes staring at the way her body was already squirming under him. And his cock throbbed harder at the sight of her being so vulnerable. He had missed this; her, perfectly dressed up, in her Princess clothes, with her Princess duties, turning putty in his hands. And even if right now it was different because they were the same, at least in their hearts, he couldn’t help but get turned on at that thought. It was his guilty pleasure to know that he was still the only one that could see her like this, the only one that ever got so deep into her skin, into her heart and bones.
“Yes, yeah,” she replied, forcing her eyes open, looking at him, hips bucking against his hand, shaking when his palm pressed hard against her clit while his two fingers kept pumping into her. “Need you,” she begged, letting her hand run in his hair, not caring about messing it up. “Take me, now.”
Jaehyun snickered, “You are still so greedy for a Princess,” he mocked, adding a third finger, ignoring her words. “But don’t you think it’s worse now?” His voice got lower as his movements sped up; he was going to make her come twice, there was no way he was pulling out right now. She shook her head, whimpering, trying hard to ground herself against him. “You are soon to be Queen,” he snickered, drifting his eyes into hers, making her heart skip a beat for how much this all felt like in the past. But this time it was funny, because it was just a game, their different status couldn’t push them away.
She gulped, parting her lips to try to let out words that made sense, and said, “Fuck me hard, then. Don’t treat me like a Queen, not now, not tonight, please,” she begged, moving a hand to wrap it around his wrist. Jaehyun smirked, “I didn’t plan on treating you like a Queen. But I do want to make you come until you are melting, so come,” he ordered, quickening the speed, cum dripping down his hands and her legs.
And she did, trapping her lower lip between her teeth to don’t let out any sounds, she came around his fingers, squeezing her eyes shut and biting so hard she could taste blood in her mouth.
Jaehyun smiled, pulling out of her and moving his hand quickly on the buttons of his pants to pull out his throbbing cock, but right when he was about to lift one of her legs up and push his tip against her entrance, she stopped him.
“Ta-take me from behind,” she mumbled, skin heating up and eyes not looking at him. A small laugh rumbled in his chest before he lifted her chin and forced her to look at him.
“No, Princess, it doesn’t work like this,” he replied and then ran his tongue on his lips. “Ask politely while you look into my eyes, come on,” he ordered. “Tell me you want to be taken hard and rough with your pretty face against the wall.”
His words sent her brain into a spiral and she almost moaned at how sinful it all felt, but gathering the courage to say those words out loud, to be this dirty, was harder.
“Cat got your tongue? It’s very rude to make people wait, and right now you’re not only making me wait but,” he leaned closer to her ear, “do I have to remind you about your people waiting for you during your first ball?”
Those words made her realize they didn’t have all the time in the world. It was a miracle if nobody was looking for them already, and she wondered just for how long the excuse of tucking Eunbi in bed was going to last, they weren’t even close to the nursey.
“Please, sir, fuck me hard against this wall, please,” she begged.
“Your wish is my command, Your Highness,” he replied with a smirk on his face, feeling his heart much lighter now at calling her with those honorifics. He was quick at turning her around and lifting her dress again before aligning against her entrance, slowly making his way in.
She moaned when Jaehyun bottomed out, resting a hand flat against the cold wall and pushing her ass back against him. And she imagined he was going to start picking up speed, but he kept moving slowly, dragging all the way out and then pushing back inside.
“You’re so delicate with me since I’ve had her,” she huffed, thinking back at how, the few times they had the chance to do something, he had changed completely and never gave it to her as hard as he was used to doing. “I want it hard,” she demanded. “Remember how you used to take me when we would do this? How much you loved seeing me a mess underneath you? How you loved knowing nobody knew how much I loved being manhandled and being ruined by you.”
“Is that what you want? I thought you demanded not to ruin you, I thought people couldn’t know,” he replied, but his hips started slamming harder against her, still pulling almost all the way out but with a faster speed.
“I changed my mind – fuck – I, I want them to know. I want the ton to know I belong to – shit – to you,” she cried out when one of his hands wrapped around her waist and squeezed, “I want them to know you’re the only one that gets me like this.”
“I’ll give it to you, then, my Princess,” he said, other hand moving up to graze her neck and pulling her back to kiss her harshly.
“Fuck,” she moaned, closing her eyes, struggling to keep her whines of pleasure into her mouth as she could feel him deep and hard inside of her, the veins of his dick dragging against her wet walls and his girth stretching her just how she wanted. “Just like that.”
“Yeah, you like that?” He asked, pressing his forehead against her, consequentially pressing her face more against the wall. “And I bet you’ll like it even more if I do this,” he said with a smirk, moving the hand on her hips between her legs.
She gasped, pushing back against him, and couldn’t keep in her sinful sounds.
“No, no, Princess,” he cooed, “keep your pretty mouth shut, remember? Anybody could hear us, or worse,” he lowered his voice, “see us.”
Her eyes fluttered behind her lashes, and her walls clenched around him. And Jaehyun snickered, “Maybe that’s what you want, an audience. How scandalous do you truly want to be, my Queen?”
And this time the thing that fluttered in her body was her heart, for some reason, the way the words my Queen rolled out of his lips, and in such a moment, made her knees buckle and her heart beat faster. It sounded so good, so wrong somehow considering this was the last thing a Queen should be doing, but she couldn’t mind.
“You don’t mind, don’t you?” He teased, quickening the pace on her clit, kissing her shoulders, and pushing her more against the hard surface. “You still are my dirty little girl, aren’t you? This royal blood is not enough to let you control yourself, to know how to behave.”
“Maybe I deserve a punishment,” she mumbled, smirking, nails dragging against the wall.
“I should scold you,” he moaned against her ear. “Do you know how dangerous it is to be out here at night?”
“Fuck,” she whimpered, “Is it?”
He laughed lowly, making her moan louder and close her eyes once again, “You are lucky I was the one finding you, or else you have no idea what could’ve happened. The future Queen shouldn’t – fuck – stay here,” he whimpered, “with no one to protect her.”
She pressed her lips in a thin line, feeling that she couldn’t be silent for more when he started to set a brutally fast speed, knocking the breath out of her, cock sliding into her so right she couldn’t remember when it was the last it felt so good, so needed.
“Maybe that was what you wanted, being fucked hard and rough like any commoner,” he teased, “and if only you didn’t have a ball to run to because you – shit – have to you would let me take you even harder, right?”
She mumbled a broken answer, back arching further into him, “yes,” she gasped, “’d let you do – fuck – anything.”
“I know, Your Highness, I know,” he smirked against her ear, getting drunk in the sight of her, only now truly realizing just how much he had missed her like this, puffy lips getting tormented as she struggled to keep it all in and at the same time craved for more, how her eyes fluttered from pleasure, how her boobs were beautifully pressed up in that dress and panted heavily against the wall as she tried to catch her breath. “Would you do something for me, Princess? Would you follow an order from your subject?”
“Yes, yes,” she mumbled.
“Good, then come for me,” he ordered, “come undone where anybody could see you melt in my hands. Come on, let these walls see the mess you can make of – shit – yourself.”
And it was all too much when his fingers on her clit sped up and his thrusts kept the same fast pace that made her head spin around, moans spilling out loudly that Jaehyun had to cover her mouth with his hand to muffle the lewd sounds as he filled her to the brim, not caring about the mess. Both forgetting that just two corridors away a ball was going on and the Queen was panicking, trying to calm the guests and give an explanation for their disappearance, trying to pity the ton saying that for Eunbi it was all too new, and they had to take extra care of her.
“Are you alright?” He asked, leaving small kisses on her face as he slowly pulled out, fixing her panties, smirking at the thought of her having to walk around with that mess for at least one hour – if they were lucky.
Scarlett smiled weakly, turning around to rest her back against the wall, trying to calm her breathing. “I’m too old for this, but yes, I feel alright.”
Jaehyun chuckled, “you wanted me to go hard on you, there’s a reason if I treat you with extra care.”
“Oh, shut up, I can take it, I just need more time to recover after,” she joked.
“Shit, I fear there’s somebody,” Jaehyun muttered, shushing her with a finger, sharpening his hearing and listening to footsteps approach. “Follow me,” he told her, grabbing her hand and walking a few steps before he pulled a candle hanging on the wall, opening a secret passage.
“This has always been here?” Scarlett asked surprised, not convinced to get in, but when the steps got louder, she stepped inside, the thick wall closing behind them again.
“Always,” he replied, starting to walk through the channel after lighting up a candle.
“How do you still remember everything?”
Jaehyun snickered, “I had spent nights up studying this place, it was one of the tests I had to pass to get the job. Being good at defending you physically wasn’t enough, you always need to know where you can run and hide, and well, where your enemies might hide as well.”
Scarlett hummed. She knew he had this place impressed in his memory, but she imagined that after more than three years he would forget about it, and yet, he still knew, it was impressive. “And where will this lead us?”
“Right outside the ballroom if we go this way,” he said, turning left. “This way we can simply say that we were already heading back when they came to search for us.”
“I know we shouldn’t have done that,” she paused, “but I missed having you like that,” she confessed, holding his hand tighter. “It’s exciting, don’t you think?”
Jaehyun smirked, “I wouldn’t have dragged you there if I didn’t think so.”
“But I truly think this should be the last time of reckless fun,” she added. “I hope it hadn’t been so much to make them get suspicious.”
“We’ve been quick,” he reassured her, pushing another brick, opening the wall on the other side, and they both stepped outside. “Ready to face the ton again?”
“Always ready if I have you by my side.”
After the ball, life had been pretty erratic, and Scarlett often wondered if she could truly keep up with the rhythms of the court. But in answer to every intrusive thought that would cross her mind, there was Jaehyun reassuring her everything was going to be alright.
‘It’s hard because there are many big events to prepare for, and you also need to catch up on everything you missed in the past years,’ Jaehyun had told her a few times, and she agreed but still cursed Donghyuck for calling her so late and damned herself for having accepted.
There wasn’t a rush for the enthronement. Her mother was still the Queen, and she could’ve been elected Queen for now and then followed the ceremony of coronation later. But, seemingly, it was more pressuring than she imagined. Her mother had no strength to follow through with her duties, not that she had ever done that, considering the one ‘taking care’ of everything was the King. And the country needed a leader, a strong one, and considering the whole situation, she needed an iconic arrival on the scene. Being nominated Queen in private just wasn’t enough. They needed a show, people needed to love her, honour her, truly trust her and see how devoted to the role she was.
All the excitement that rushed in her veins was slowly slipping away at the thought she wasn’t enough. Maybe her father was right, she wasn’t made for this, she was a disappointment. But then her hate for him took over. She had promised him she was going to be everything he didn’t think she could be, so she tried. For revenge, for Eunbi, for Jaehyun, for the boys that gave up everything and followed her with the promise of a better future. She needed to start from her very own people so she could also be good to her country.
And luckily, Donghyuck had been kind enough to offer to help her, at least at the start. He would go with her at the first meetings with other countries. He also assured her to side with her Queendom and maintain the relations he already had with her father. And his support made her sleep at night a little more.
But what was pressing the most was the coronation day. And now that only two days were ahead, she couldn’t help but panic.
There was no turning back.
The moment the crown would’ve touched her head and she would’ve sworn to fight and protect her land with her own life and would’ve been proclaimed Queen, her life would’ve been marked forever. And even if power felt thrilling, and that was exactly what she had longed for her entire life, right now, that it was so close, it felt terrifying.
“You will not survive another day if you don’t calm down,” Jaehyun whispered, bringing her out of her thoughts again, she had lost count now of how many times if it wasn’t for him, her brain would’ve started travelling way too far and pushed her deeper into that misery.
“I am calm,” she replied, but the way her feet were tapping against the ground and she barely touched food all dinner said other things. “Why can’t my mother still reign just for a little bit more?” She snapped, dropping down the fork on the floor. “It’s fine,” she dismissed a maid ready to pick it back up. “Honestly, you may leave, we’re fine. You’re dismissed, all of you, thank you,” she said, talking to everybody in the room.
“But, Your Highness, we are the security,” a guard said, not following the reluctant maids out of the room.
“Nobody’s going to kill us while we’re eating. You can wait outside if you really feel it’s needed, thanks,” she insisted, waiting for everybody to leave them alone.
“Scar, are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, worried, once everybody was out, placing his hand on her shaking one.
“No,” she admitted, trying to hold in the tears, she didn’t want to cry in front of Eunbi that was still finishing her dessert. “I’m so nervous, and I know you keep telling me I can do this, but…” she had to stop, feeling like she could break down right there at any moment. “Let’s not talk right now, alright?”
Jaehyun hummed, not convinced, but decided to drop the conversation until Eunbi was done. It was an adult talk anyway, and there was no need to have it with her in front.
“Honey,” he called Eunbi when she had finished her sweet and was cleaning her face with a napkin, “Daddy needs you to go to sleep with Nana Maria tonight. Can you do me this favour?” She had grown close to Scarlett’s maid women, still wanted to have nothing to do with her supposed to be maids, but it was something, at least.
Eunbi hummed, nodding happily. “Are you sad Mama?” She asked when, leaning on the table to get closer to her to kiss her, she noticed her expression.
“A little tired, sweetheart, but don’t worry, alright?” Scarlett replied, caressing her soft cheek. “I’m calling Maria and —”
“No, I’ll carry her to the nursery and tell Maria to look after her for tonight. Wait for me in our room, I’ll be back immediately,” Jaehyun stopped her, grabbing Eunbi’s hand after she kissed her mother goodnight and walked out of the diner room.
Scarlett got up soon after, walking to their room, and then starting to get changed for the night, thankful she had dismissed her maids from doing it for her. It was nice having them around, but she was so used to being alone now, that she couldn’t stand so many people around doing so many basic things for her. Why couldn’t they just come and help when it was needed and during the rest of the time go back home and have their own family? Why did they have to stay there and waste their lives for somebody capable of taking care of it by herself?
Also, she enjoyed much more being in that room with only Jaehyun, and Eunbi when she whined to fall asleep and begged for them to let her fall asleep between them. Maybe the hype was waning a bit even for her.
“Hey,” Jaehyun called, making her turn back from the dresser.
“Was she alright?”
He nodded, walking next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, she’s fine, you know she doesn’t whine much if you talk it through.”
Scarlett hummed while she dipped the tips of her fingers in the cream and started massaging her face with more anger than was needed.
“Can you explain what is going on?” He asked, sitting next to her, watching her movements and how much she was shaking.
She sighed, starting to collect her hair in a braid but giving up halfway, so Jaehyun got up and positioned behind her to it instead. She smiled at him through the mirror and then started talking, perhaps if she let it out it would’ve been easier. “I’m thrilled and nervous at the same time. I want this so badly, and deep down I know I’ll be good, but what if the good feedback was fake? What if somebody truly wants us dead? What if because of my greed I will lose you?”
“Your greed? Wanting love and power is greed? Why is it never questioned to Kings? Why are they never asked to choose between those? Why would leading your country, the land you were born and raised in, and being an amazing mother and wife would be greedy or wrong?”
“I don’t know, but people don’t think like us,” she explained, getting up and standing in front of their bed, once again tapping her feet nervously since she couldn’t ruin the perfectly cured manicure of her nails.
Jaehyun sighed, “I know I will never understand the weight you carry on your shoulders because what people expect from you is nothing compared to what they expect from me. But you saw them, you saw your people, crying and thanking the Saints for having sent you back again to save them. You are their saviour, you are the good they have been asking for, for ages. And they wouldn’t have hesitated to pull out a knife and push it down your flesh if they hated you, but they didn’t. Two days after you have been represented to society, you were between them, and they all worshipped the ground you walked on. This is the place where you belong, this is where you were always supposed to be. Proud and tall, a reigning Queen, capable of anything. Never doubt that.”
“And then I am the one good with words,” she joked, smiling at him, feeling the tension loosen up a little when his hand cupped her cheek and caressed her softly.
“Queen Scarlett Aloace of Havenglow,” Jaehyun whispered, “it sounds so beautiful,” he beamed, thumb caressing her skin.
“It will sound so scary when it won’t come out of your lips tomorrow,” she replied with a light chuckle.
“But for now, it can only come out of my lips,” he reassured her, getting closer, leaning down to let their noses touch, “and the thousands of people cheering it, chanting it, vowing for you, praying the Gods up high to light up your road headed. People are devoted, deeply, even scarily, but this will assure you what you had asked them to do; to walk by your side as you will bring the light on this country for the first time in years.”
“But I am no Saint, I have no Gods by side,” she replied, shivering as she thought about the trust people were putting in her hands. How fondly they truly believed she was going to be their saviour, and she feared she couldn’t have been able to live up to those expectations. People not only were devoted, but they were tired of years of mistreatments, abuse, and poverty, just one mistake, and that would’ve been the final straw.
“Then be your own God,” he stated, lips brushing together, “be who you truly are destined to be.”
She chuckled against his lips, “a Goddess? I don’t think that is my destiny.”
“You do look like one,” he replied, fingers slipping behind her neck and pushing her closer. “I want you to be loud as a tornado when you walk the halls and take back everything you were destined for. I want you to be the only one people will look at. I want you to shine bright as the star you are meant to be. Do not hold back because that is what your father told you your entire life. Do not hold back because he taught you to stay quiet, silent in a corner as people walked all over you and your will. Do not think that only because you share half of his blood you are the same as him.”
She felt her heart beat harder at his words, feeling sensitive to the point of crying.
“I am capable of doing this,” she whispered, looking into his eyes, searching for that kind of comfort only he was able to give her, grounding herself into his golden—brown depths to seek more confidence.
“You are,” he repeated, kissing her, small touches, lips that seemed almost shy, but full of intentions as if he wanted to imprint that thought into her deeper. “I can’t wait to see you covered in gold, sitting on your throne, wearing your crown, and holding your sceptre.”
She chuckled, head falling back at the tickling sensation of his lips against her skin. “You do know you might fuel my darkest desires with your words?”
“Do you have them?” He asked, pulling apart for a second, raising a brow.
“I may have them, who knows,” she played along, letting her finger trail against his jacket. “May I confess to you? Will you swear to don’t let them slip past your lips?”
“I would do anything for you, my Queen,” he confessed, dropping to his knees. She felt her breath falter for a moment when seeing him like this, hearing his words, made her realize how good power felt, how she wanted to have it all, to prove everybody she was capable and worthy and deserving of everything she had. She wanted to prove there was no reason to doubt her because she could have both, love and power.
And maybe that was the last night of what felt normal, but what felt normal wasn’t what was written in her destiny.
Jaehyun was right, she was supposed to be great, and she was going to prove it.
“Then love me,” she whispered, lifting his face with two fingers under his chin. Power was ahead, but love was what she wanted to feel that night, love that only Jaehyun could give her. And love was what she wanted to hold on to, selfishly and greedily like they always did, when they spent hours burning between these sheets pretending what they had was right. Because nothing much changed, only when she was rolling in that tangle with him, only when his fingers grazed her skin so gently and his lips brushed against it like the softest summer breeze, she felt human again. He was good at that, protecting her from the weight of the world, and the weight of her own brain. He was good at making the world stop spinning around so fast and cage their bodies in a limbo where nothing could hurt them, not in the past, not now, and not even in the future.
And the rush of power she felt as his hands moved on her legs, pushing the silk nightgown up, and going up on her stomach, lips trailing on her skin, made her lose her mind.
She wanted more.
Scarlett stared at her reflection in the mirror while her fingers ran over her dress; the red and the golden embroideries made her look regal, and she loved the way the big gown fell on her hips and then dragged on the floor behind her. Her eyes drifted on her face, her eyelids were painted gold and a sharp line of black lifted them, while her lips were shiny. Her hair was styled in an intricated hairstyle and then pulled together in a medium-low bun. Her hands were wrapped in red gloves with gold patterns running from her fingers and then fading the closer they got to her arms.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let her hand brush her dress to fix the crease. When she opened them again a smile curled her lips as her eyes made eye contact with Jaehyun from the mirror.
“You look stunning,” he whispered close to her ear, leaving a small kiss on her temple.
“We look stunning,” she said, turning around to fix his deep red jacket with the same golden patterns she had. “I was right,” she smirked, looking at him, brown hair pulled back in a comma hairstyle, elegant suit, royal posture, and his same old familiar face she loved so much.
“About?” He asked, raising a brow.
“You would be an amazing King,” she smiled, caressing his cheek, observing how much he looked like all the other men they tried to set her up with.
“Easy now,” he chuckled, taking her hand in his, “this is your coronation, remember.”
“I know, I cannot forget it easily when I’ve been pampered all morning to be absolutely perfect for this event.”
“They did an incredible job,” he said. “Are you ready?”
She hummed, taking one last brief glimpse at the mirror and then intertwining their arms together.
“You can walk with me, right?”
“I would’ve had to do that if I was your bodyguard, surely not intertwining our arms.” She grinned, pushing the door and walking to the throne room. “I will leave your side when we enter. You will walk alone to the throne and then the celebration will start. I will be behind you.”
She nodded, they had tried it before since her mother insisted nothing could go wrong, but she imagined the Queen wanted somebody else to protect her, probably Jaehyun had convinced her to let him stay by her side.
And now that they were standing right in front of the doors, she felt her heart falter for a moment, and cold over her, even more, when Jaehyun’s arms slipped out of her hold.
“You are made for this,” he reminded her, moving behind her. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she replied, smiling at him before the trumpets started playing and the doors opened. The golden light of the room washed over her as she tried to adjust her eyes to see and look at the insane amount of people that were in the throne room, waiting, politely standing, ready to welcome her and accept her as their new leader.
This had a completely different feeling than all the practice she had. These were real people. The ones she had to guide through the future.
But somehow, seeing them, felt less pressuring than it was in her imagination. So, she lifted her chin, hands in front of her, and started walking toward the throne where the Queen was waiting, naked of her own crown.
The celebration started, and it felt like hours to her before they arrived at the vows.
“Scarlett Aloace of Havenglow, do you solemnly swear to rule according to law, exercise justice with mercy, lead your country with the intent to put the people first, and maintain high the name of the Crown?”
“I solemnly swear to rule according to law, exercise justice with mercy, lead your country with the intent to put the people first, and maintain high the name of the Crown,” she repeated.
The Queen turned around, grabbed the crown and the sceptre, and then looked at the sky, “Hear our prayers of peace and prosperity, and look, Almighty Gods, with a serene gaze on this, and may you let your light shine on our beloved Queen, giving her the power to carry through and lead us toward a new beginning,” she recited, taking the golden crown and lifting it up, so everybody could see it. “Scarlett Aloace, receive this crown and sceptre by my hands, delivering it to you, with my blessing, to serve for the defence of our Land,” she concluded, placing the crown on top of her head and handing her the shaft. “By the power vested in me, I declare you Queen Scarlett of Havenglow.”
And only when her mother’s words shut down, and the crowd erupted in loud applause with cheers and cries and the heavy jewel touched her head, Scarlett realized what had happened. She turned around, finally facing her people, seeing children, mothers, workers, and the ones she loved the most, and realised that there, was exactly where she was supposed to be.
When the feast died down and the throne room was empty, Scarlett wandered around, only now focusing on how majestic the room truly was. With no people inside it looked even brighter, the chandeliers and the golden from the trimmed walls making the moonlight reflect everywhere. The big red carpet ran from the doors to the altar. The paintings on the walls of the previous monarch, standing proud in the golden frames, and she gulped, thrilled to think that they were both going to be there. She had already discussed it with the family painter, she wanted both of them to be there.
“I know I told you repeatedly today, but,” Jaehyun whispered, “you look majestic this way,” he finished, standing behind her, hands running over her waist, crossing right in front of her belly.
“All this golden makes me shine,” she replied, turning her head around, and nuzzling her nose against his, making him smile at the tender gesture. It felt intimate being able to see this cosy side of her after he had watched her stroll around all day, standing high and proud as she met the people and the ton.
“You do not need gold to shine, but yes, it does help,” he chuckled. “Although, I’d love to see you sit on the throne,” he whispered against her neck, eyes looking over her, where the big, shiny, golden seat was, high above the carpeted stairs in the middle of the room.
“We need to add another seat for you, you will be crowned King too,” she said as they started walking toward it.
“I can wait,” he reassured her. “I am already King by your side.”
She giggled shyly, looking down to don’t slip on the stairs. “You are the most hopeless romantic person I have ever met.”
“I take it as a compliment,” he chuckled as he followed her movements on the throne. And even though the crown wasn’t adorning her head anymore and no sceptre was in her hand, he was still mesmerized by the sight and how much she belonged there. She fit perfectly and he couldn’t believe she had been willing to let all of this go for him. He didn’t feel deserving of so much love, devotion, even, he dared to call it, because what united them was stronger than love for sure. Possibly it could’ve even been considered wrong, but he couldn’t care.
So he kneeled right in front of her, surprising her, eliciting a gasp of surprise from her.
“Do you feel alright?” She asked, worried.
He smiled at her, “never felt better.”
“Then why are you there?”
“I need to show you some things,” he said, moving closer to her on his knees, letting his hands travel under the dress, up on her legs, “Need to show you I can praise you and worship you better than the people that were chanting your name just a few hours ago.”
Scarlett shivered at the contact of his cold fingers and the tone of his voice, breath already faltering in anticipation.
“Here?”
A smirk curled his lips, “you always ask me the same question.”
“You always pick the worst places to have me.”
“Does Your Majesty require better?”
She gulped, feeling electricity rush through her at his words, his tone, his eyes staring straight into her in that position, hitting straight to her core. She briefly looked around, to take in where they were, who she was, simply hoping nobody was going to come in – nobody was allowed there, technically. Because she loved this in a way she never imagined she could.
“Show me,” she ordered, regal tone, firm and confident. “You may show me how devoted you are to me, to your Queen.”
And Jaehyun obeyed, pushing the fabric of the dress up for what was possible and then pulling her laced undergarments down, letting them lay on the floor, having her on full display for him. He smirked at the sight of her wet folds, glistening and dripping for him only. And in a second his lips were on her, dancing on her sensitive spot, making her throw her head back and grip tighter around the throne armrest.
Jaehyun looked up at her, the light falling on her and then reflecting in a circle around the crown of the throne, the golden spikes making her look like a Goddess, like an angel exploding with light of her own. A strong contrast compared to the blissful contorted look on her face and the not so sacred words spilling out of her plump lips.
And the thought of serving her never weighed on his shoulders. He wouldn’t have complained if that was the only purpose in his life. Only existing for her, to serve his Queen, his Goddess. He would’ve given her his life if he had to.
“More,” she whispered, voice low and filled with lust, but it didn’t come out like a beg, it was an order. Another one. As her ass slid halfway off the seat and her legs wrapped on his shoulders and his grip tightened on her hips and thighs, keeping her from falling.
“Fuck,” she cursed, letting her fingers intertwine in his hair, holding tight, making him moan against her as his tongue kept working miracle on her, drunk in love, drunk in her, drinking her off like wine from the most precious grapes.
And she couldn’t help but push him harder against her, getting high at the sight of him. Feeling her stomach twitch for how devoted he was.
“Need you,” he whispered, pulling away from her, but she put him back in his place.
“And I need you here, between my thighs,” she ordered, sultry voice coming out so harmonically Jaehyun felt his head spin. “Pray for me, love.”
And he obliged again, sucking her clit, licking her, slipping past her entrance, making her writhe and squirm. Feeling power slip from his reach more and more, letting himself go at her orders and hands guiding him into sinful perdition. It did feel like a religion, an unholy one, a religion that would’ve led them both to hell as sinners as they always have been. Daring the most powerful Gods, rising against them, and somehow always winning. And adding more immorality wasn’t going to make the pain of their eternity worse. So, they kept sinning.
She was his religion.
And right there, on his knees, between her legs, he was praying.
He was devoted to her and her only because no other God ever looked over him like she did. Nobody else would’ve sacrificed so much of themselves for him. Nobody else would’ve given up their lives for him.
Only in the crease of her body, he could find his redemption. Only in her sacred wine, he could get drunk. Only in her voice, he could find eternal forgiveness.
He was, since ever and for eternity, her most devoted believer.
Her hips started trembling, moving uncontrollably against him, and in a moment, she was boneless in his hands, crumbling apart as pleasure washed over, but it didn’t make her feel tired, it felt like a weird rush of power, of strength, of guilty pleasure, or probably pride. So much she truly felt like a Goddess at that very moment.
“Did I prove it to you?” He asked when she let him go and his eyes locked into hers, chin still stained with her fluids. “Is this how you should treat a Queen?”
A smirk curled her lips, “but I’m not a Queen, I’m a God,” she replied, cupping his chin and forcing him up, making him sit at her place, pushing him down with no grace. “A Queen is pliant, silent at her King’s side, she tends to submit more than to control,” she whispered against his ear. “Don’t you think so?”
He hummed, “not you, not by my side.”
She smirked again, pulling away from him. “Strip,” she ordered, looking down at him.
Jaehyun gulped, shaky hands moving to unbutton his golden embroidered jacket, letting it fall to the side before he did the same with his pants.
“Naked,” she said, eyes pointing at his underwear. “I want to see all of you.”
And only when he was fully naked, she walked to him again, hands placing against the throne, lips close to his, breath fanning against them as she spoke, “how far can you show me how much you love me?”
“As far as you want,” he replied with no hesitation, fighting the urge to touch her, to strip her naked too, slightly taken aback by this unexpected aura that surrounded her, she truly felt untouchable, like an outer being he simply was not worthy of being with.
“Do you think you can satisfy me? Bring me to heaven and don’t let me fall?”
“I can. I’d do anything for you,” he answered, moving forward to let their lips meet, but she pulled away.
“Prove it to me,” she said, lifting her dress just enough so she could sit on top of him. “After that, maybe, you’ll get a taste. You have to earn a place in heaven, baby. Show the Gods just what you would do to get eternal safeness.”
And maybe they both needed to be saved from this hell they created, for the wrongfulness of their lives, for the sinful abyss they let their souls get dragged in, for putting love – a false god, sneaky, and dangerous – before the real one up there. For adding more sin on their judgment day. But that wasn’t coming anytime soon, so they were going to still worship what they had, cherish it with their hearts and love, mixing sacred and profane. Because dying in each other’s arms didn’t sound so bad, and not even spending eternity together, even if it meant burning in the pits of hell.
So they were there, bodies intertwined, a tangle of flesh and skin and blood slamming hard against each other in that holy room that had seen hundreds of royals pass from those doors to consecrate their Highness and their power but never to let those shiny walls witness something as unholy as this.
And the sounds rippling through their throats were even worst, moans, whimpers, chants of the Gods they were just profaning, begging for forgiveness that was never going to come, or probably, even more shamelessly, calling each other that.
“Fuck,” Jaehyun muttered, letting his hands wrap around her covered waist, and his head fell back before he forced his eyes open to look at her. “I am crazy for you,” he confessed, moving closer to her, begging her to let him kiss him, to let her subject get a taste of those precious, soft lips that reminded him of the most tasteful cherries. And she let him because she didn’t need him to show how much he longed for her, how far he would’ve gone for her. She knew it. It was in the way he still stayed a step behind her. It was in the way he was her first supporter in everything. It was in the way she knew he wouldn’t have hesitated to stab somebody if they dared to hurt her.
And Jaehyun didn’t particularly feel in a position of control that night, but he still dared to ask, beg her for something so big, a thought that now was tormenting him, “need to give you a child,” he whispered, looking straight into her eyes, feeling her breath falter and her walls tighten around him. Brain spinning at the sick idea of a being so high and graceful like her to let someone like him fill her womb with sacred life. “Yeah, you want that?”
She nodded, letting her forehead collapse against him and her nails dig into the blades of his shoulders, sinking so deep she drew blood and made him hiss.
“Want to let everyone know that – fuck – you let the commoner put another baby into you?” He teased, thrusts getting faster for what he could. “Such a generous Queen letting anybody take you, getting – shit – your blood stained with the most unworthy.”
“You are not,” she replied, shutting him with a kiss, ravenous, eager, “you are by my side. You gained – fuck,” she whimpered when he hit particularly hard right where she was most sensitive. “You gained your spot in heaven, right next to my side.”
He kissed her again, one hand slipped on the small of her back, pushing her closer, cursing she didn’t take off her dress because he wanted to feel her, mark her, stain her even more, with sin, with love, with the madness that their passion was. Somehow, he wanted to sink even deeper into her skin, not caring he already knew so much of her and had her impressed in the back of his mind. He needed more.
“Need to see you full of me,” he muttered, “Need to see you walk around with my baby, round and full of our love. Need to – fuck – give you another one.”
“Do it,” she screamed, “I’m yours,” she wept, “And yours only. Shit. Yours to keep. Fuck. Yours to lose,” she whimpered. “I’m yours, every inch of me,” her breath faltered, hands clasping in his hair, pulling him closer, standing eye to eye. “All of me, is for your eyes only.”
And Jaehyun felt his heart lose a beat. This wasn’t one of their wishful thinking at night back in her chamber when he would have to go back into his room. These were the words of a Queen, his Queen. These words were real, she was his, and he was hers. In people’s eyes. In the fruit of their love. And soon even on papers. He was worthy of a Queen’s love. His Queen, the only one he could ever care about. The only one that truly felt deserving of that spot in his heart. And that was the last thing he needed. He was going to be by her side this time. He was going to be able to walk tall by her side, not behind. He would’ve seen her raise their love child and cherished her every day.
And at that moment he truly realized how deep he was into her.
“I’m close,” her voice came out in a whisper as her head rolled back and she struggled to lift her body on him as the knot in her stomach tightened and her brain felt hazy.
“I know,” he replied, “I can feel you tightening around me. I’m going to fill you up, fuck,” he moaned, hand reaching her neck and forcing her to look at him. “Will you take it? Will you carry the – ohh – the fruit of our love?”
“Yes,” she replied with no hesitation. “I will take anything from you.” And it was true, and she would’ve wondered when and how she became so vulnerable to him, what made their love become like this, but her brain wasn’t in the condition to think a single thought that made sense.
“Then take it,” he moaned, making their lips meet again in a heated kiss as his hips kept thrusting hard against her. “Take my child.” And in a few seconds, he started spilling his seed inside of her, triggering her orgasm that exploded, vision blinding and ears buzzing as their sealed mouths muffled the high moans and screams that were being pushed out by their lungs. It felt so intense that everything around started to spin and yet, they couldn’t stop.
It wasn’t enough.
And greed sure wasn’t a virtue, but that night, they decided to put their morals behind them and keep burning in the flames of ruins.
And they kept fucking, marking each other, not even thinking about the possibility of anybody walking in front of those doors and hearing them. Too lost in a world of their own, where all their fantasy came true, where everything was possible.
Because it was good to be a Queen, but it was better to be a Goddess.
The wedding preparations followed soon after. Jaehyun and Scarlett had no problem with wanting some more, but sealing a marriage as soon as possible was better for possible deals with other countries and also to legalize their relationship. And they weren’t complaining, they wanted this to happen too, but it was thrilling and scary at the same time.
It was big, an event for the whole country to see. A celebration. Not just an intimate sealing of promise between them. And it would’ve also crowned Jaehyun King.
“It needs to be absolutely perfect,” Renjun said as he frenetically kept measuring her body, writing down her sizes and the ideas for the design of the wedding dress. He had spent the entire morning doing the same with Jaehyun, and now it was Scarlett’s turn.
“It will, you have hands made of gold,” she tried to calm him down, but it served a little because Renjun was too caught up in all the things he had to do to try to calm down. He couldn’t. This couldn’t go wrong. It would’ve been such a big exposure for his tailoring shop, and also, he cared a lot for her, so he wanted to gift her the best dress he could create.
Renjun hummed mindlessly, checking her once again. “Do not dare to get pregnant again before the big day, or I will kill you,” he warned. “Wait, can I? Will you go to jail if you kill your Monarch?”
She laughed, “you’ll go to jail If you kill anybody, Jun.”
“You would sentence me if I did?”
“I’d have to,” she replied, shocked.
“I imagined we would gain some kind of privileges knowing you,” Yuta chimed, diverting his attention from the book he was reading as he was – supposedly – looking after Eunbi that was also reading on the floor, in her case, watching the pictures on the pages. But it was the only thing that would keep her calm as she tried hard to comprehend the words written, so Yuta was fine like this. He wasn’t like Taeyong, or her parents, dealing with her peaks of hyper—activity drove him insane.
“Not those kinds of privileges, you can’t kill people.”
“Anyway,” Renjun bought her attention on him again, “no cake in the oven, got it?”
“What makes you think I would?” She asked embarrassed, lowering her face and scratching her neck.
“You will!” They replied together, screaming, staring at her with eyes wide open, making Eunbi turn over but her attention on her mother didn’t last long since she got back to her book immediately.
“What are you talking about?” She asked, shaking her head.
“You got embarrassed,” Renjun explained.
“Are you trying for another one?” Yuta asked, walking closer to Scarlett, staring at her with a stunned expression.
“What are you…” she huffed, jumping from the stool in the middle of the room. “Don’t say that, I don’t like to say that we are trying,” she explained. “Let’s say that we wouldn’t mind if it happened.”
“Oh, wow, another one?” Yuta didn’t want to sound so… disgusted, but kids weren’t exactly his thing, and one was already more than enough for him.
She rolled her eyes. “She’s three, almost four.”
“But she’s a lot.”
“We will be fine. I think I deserve a peaceful pregnancy with Jaehyun by my side,” she said, grinning at his traumatized expression.
“Fine, I am very happy for you but please, not before the wedding,” Renjun still begged, he was booked with the modiste and now the preparations for the Queen’s wedding were just adding up, changing the dress last minute was the last thing he needed.
“Don’t worry,” she replied with a calming tone, “it won’t grow big in three weeks.”
“I hope so,” Renjun replied before widening his eyes. “Wait, you aren’t yet, right?”
“No, I’m not,” she reassured him. “Well, I don’t think so.”
He rolled his eyes and huffed loudly, “you two can’t be left alone for two seconds.”
“Please, we had no time to be alone back then, let us live.”
Yuta snickered. “The wedding is close, Renjun. I’m sure she will fit in the dress anyway.”
“Exactly,” she agreed. “And since we are tight with time, can you please carry her to Taeyong?” She asked Yuta. “I have to plan things.”
“Sure, also because I don’t think she will survive with me any longer,” Yuta said, walking toward the baby, reaching for her hand to walk out of the door.
“A kiss to Mama,” she said before going out, running to Scarlett and jumping in her arms.
“Be good with Yong, alright?” She warned, caressing her cheek and giving her another kiss.
“Yes, Mama, I’ll be good. Bye,” she waved to her and Renjun before running to Yuta, grabbing his hand, and walking outside.
“She’s lovely,” Renjun commented, tenderly staring at the door before turning back around.
Scarlett hummed and then placed her hand on his shoulders, resting her chin on it, “and you’re coming with me, I need help.”
“What about the dress?”
“I’ll help you create it when you will start working on it,” she promised, doe-eying him. “Please, Injunnie.”
“Fine, fine,” he gave up, waving her off and starting to pack his things. “I hate how unable I am to go against you.”
She smiled. “We worked side by side for so long, do you think I will let this go?”
“Enough,” he stopped her. “I would’ve helped you even without this tooth-rotting stuff.”
Three weeks passed with more preparations for the great day and also new meetings with ambassadors and councillors. And now that the night before the big day arrived, they felt like they could finally breathe. They were so close to making this big step, something that they never imagined was possible, not between them at least.
“Our last night as fiancées,” Scarlett joked, closing the door behind her, and walking toward Jaehyun that was looking outside of the balcony from the terrace. “Eunbi is quite thrilled at the thought of being our damsel,” she chuckled, leaning her head against his arm while Jaehyun wrapped it around her waist. “I think I’ll let her sleep with me tonight, it seemed she had no intention to calm down, not even with Taeyong.”
“Today the maids couldn’t convince her to get out of the dress,” Jaehyun giggled at the memory. It took her grandmother to convince her to take it off, only because she told her it had to be perfect and clean for the big day.
“At least we know she’s getting used to this new life,” she breathed out, holding him tighter, feeling tranquil. This could’ve set her off completely but instead, Eunbi was getting used to the place and people pretty easily. Maybe it was her curious nature, for her this was just another occasion to take more from life and learn and discover. And Scarlett hoped that the news of a new child wasn’t going to be a terrible thing for her.
“Don’t you think we should’ve asked her before?”
Jaehyun furrowed, tilting his head to look at her. “About what?”
“The other baby,” she whispered, pulling away to stare at him.
“You think she won’t welcome a sibling?”
She shrugged, crossing her arms on her chest, “I don’t know. What if it will get too much? What if she will feel pushed out of our lives? She has so much love and…”
“You said it,” Jaehyun interrupted her, taking her hands in his and kissing them softly, “she has so much love, it won’t disappear. But if you feel safer, we can always ask her.”
Scarlett hummed, looking down at the floor, squeezing his hands tighter.
“Unless you are the one who’s not sure about this anymore,” he inquired, quirking a brow, trying to study her face, but he couldn’t see much of her until it snapped up.
“What? No. I do want it. I want it with all of my heart. As scary as it is, I know I can do it another time with you by my side. I don’t think that I ever felt so much love as I did those months with her in my womb. It was terrifying, but also soothing, and warm. And I know that this time can only be better because I will have you.”
“We can wait, we can…”
“I don’t want to wait,” she stopped him. “I just think it would be fair to let her know. It will be a change in her life, and I cannot be sure she will accept it easily.”
“Should we do this now? Before she goes to sleep with you?”
When they opened the door of the big living room, they found Taeyong on the floor and Eunbi running around wearing a crown on her head and a fake wooden sword chasing after Doyoung. The eldest looked at them with a wrecked face and they laughed.
“You are free to go,” Scarlett relieved him, walking toward him.
“Mom look!” Eunbi screamed. “I’m a warrior princess and he’s the bad dragon.”
Doyoung rushed to her parents, trying to hide behind them but Eunbi easily slipped between them and succeeded in her mission of ‘killing’ him.
“No, you got me,” Doyoung cried, falling on his knee, pressing the sword against his rib with his arm.
“You will never terrorize our lands ever again,” she declared, placing her feet on his thigh and her closed fist against her waist, looking proud with her head up.
“You should go with your mother to her meetings, I’m sure other leaders will listen to you,” Jaehyun joked, kneeling at her side.
“I only like to fight dragons and ride unicorns. Johnny Oppa promised to build me one soon,” she said, clapping her hands excitedly before she started running around again, playing with herself this time.
Scarlett laughed, following her for a moment before her eyes got back on Taeyong’s wrecked face. “Tell me you’re not regretting being her main caretaker.”
Taeyong smiled, finding the strength to stand up. “I will never regret it, but let’s say that I do hope the thrill of this new thing will fade with time because she had never been this excited over anything.” He was used to her, he had seen her grow, she felt like a daughter to him and Doyoung especially. He was always there, her first crawls, her first steps, her first dance moves, and he knew how energetic she could be, but she had never been this energetic.
“She will calm down,” Scarlett reassured him. “You can go, we’ll deal with her from now on.”
“Good luck,” Doyoung said, sending them a flying kiss before waving and walking outside with Taeyong, being grateful they all had a personal room to stay over for the night.
“Little bird,” Scarlett called her, pretending to don’t see the tulle of her dress picking out of one of the armchairs where she was hiding. “Do you see her, Jae?”
“I have no idea where she is,” he played along, starting to walk around the room and they had to suppress a laugh when they heard her chuckle.
Eunbi peeked her head out to look at them and then jumped out, scaring them.
“Oh, my,” Scarlett exclaimed, holding a hand on her chest, “you scared us. Where were you hiding, princess?”
“A princess should never tell her secrets,” she played along before running to her and doing grabby hands to ask her mother to lift her up.
Jaehyun reached them and pocked her cheek playfully, making her throw her head back, giggling. “Should we go to sleep, now?”
She whined, “but I’m not tired.”
“But remember what day is tomorrow?” Her mother asked as they started to make their way to their chamber, Jaehyun would’ve slept in another room for the night so they could’ve gotten ready in the morning and then meet each other at the altar. “You can’t be tired, you have to walk down the aisle and throw the petals on the floor, and then we have to dance all day and eat delicious food.”
“I know but I am excited,” she pouted, holding tight around her mother’s shoulders. “You look so pretty in the dress; Daddy doesn’t know how beautiful you are.”
Jaehyun smiled, holding the door open to let them in first, and then closed it behind them.
“That’s why we need to sleep and let the night pass fast,” he said while Scarlett put her down on the bed and he walked to the closet to hand her the clothes for the night.
“I sleep with Mama?” She asked, only now realizing they weren’t in her room.
“Yes,” she replied. “Are you happy?”
“Yeah,” she cheered, swinging her feet on the mattress happily. “Then I… I can’t wait to go to sleep. I never sleep with you,” she said, trying to reach the buttons behind her dress to unlock them but Jaehyun was quick at helping her since she couldn’t arrive with her arms. “We don’t do that anymore.” It was rare, but occasionally, when Jaehyun was away and they both missed him too much, Eunbi would sneak into their bedroom and spend the night hugged to her mom.
Scarlett stared at Jaehyun, her eyes letting him know all her fears, but he had always been better than her at dealing with these situations without letting emotions take over completely.
“It has been a rough time, honey,” he explained, lifting her dress up and then pushing her cotton camisole on her body to cover her up. “We can set one day of the week where we can do that. We can cook together like we used to do and then we can watch movies together in this big and soft bed.”
Eunbi smiled brightly, crinkles of her eyes showing up and dimples popping out. “I love it!”
Scarlett let out a small breath of relief and then moved closer to them, sitting on the bed right next to Jaehyun.
“We need to ask you a thing,” Scarlett said, holding Jaehyun’s hand for support.
“For tomorrow?” Eunbi asked, tilting her head to the side while her hands played with the soft fabric of the sheets in front of her.
“More for life,” Jaehyun replied, making her furrow even more.
“Would you mind to don’t being alone anymore?” Scarlett asked and Eunbi’s eyes drifted from her to Jaehyun, clearly confused.
“But I am not alone,” she said, scratching her leg where she had a mosquito bite and Scarlett had to move her hand away so she wouldn’t have bled.
“It’s not about the people that surround you, it’s about having another friend a little bit younger than you,” she tried to explain.
“Will I go to school? Taeyong told me that. In kinder… kindergarden? Is it?” She asked, jumping on her spot, eyes lighting up in anticipation.
“Also, maybe, we still have to think about that. But no, it’s in the family.”
“Would you mind not being our only daughter?” Jaehyun got straight to the point when he understood that Scarlett couldn’t push those words out.
Eunbi gasped and Scarlett almost felt like passing out but then breathed again when Eunbi’s lips curled in a smile, and she got up. “Like — like me being a sister?”
“Do you know what a sister is?”
Eunbi hummed enthusiastically, “Juliet is the big sister, she has many siblings.”
“Oh, I missed that. And would you be fine with that?”
“Yes!” She cheered. “Aunt July says it’s like always having a friend with you. Will I have it too?” She asked, starting to slightly jump up on the mattress.
Scarlett turned to Jaehyun smiling at him. “Well, we are hoping to be gifted with another baby soon.”
“Yes! I want one, I want to be their best friend. How are we calling it?”
“Calm now,” Scarlett chuckled, “the baby is not here yet, we don’t even know when we’ll have it.”
“Can I have a sister?” She still asked, ignoring her mother’s words and jumping happily on the mattress trying to keep the balance on her legs.
Jaehyun chuckled, she was always so enthusiastic over everything, he only wished she was never going to lose that sparkle.
“You can’t pick that, what will come will come.”
Eunbi pouted but then hugged her mom. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
“We can’t wait either,” they both replied, squeezing her in a tight hug.
The garden of the royal palace never looked so intimidating, and yet, breathtaking, in Scarlett’s eyes. Her heart was thudding loudly in her chest, so loud that she could feel it more than the march that already started playing. And having Johnny’s arm around her, wasn’t enough to make her feel supported to take the first step forward and start to walk down the open—air aisle.
“Breathe in and breathe out,” Johnny whispered, squeezing her hand in support and making her do the step of no turning back. Somehow, she felt more anxious now than four weeks before when she had to swear to protect her land and people.
Seeing Eunbi walk in front of them, throwing petals in her little lilac dress with purple calla lilies adorning her curls and watching her skipped steps as she couldn’t control hopping instead of walking, and seeing Jaehyun waiting for her at the altar, made her breath get stuck in her throat.
She couldn’t even be bothered by how public it all was, how many people they didn’t know were there, and how this was more than just a love vow but also something political. It mattered on papers, but it didn’t matter in her heart.
And Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile, eyes glistening as he stared at her. She was walking gracefully toward him, small steps, insecure even, and he could imagine that she was leaning on Johnny more than she should’ve. Her manicured hands wrapped around the cascading bouquet with roses, calla lilies, and daisies, and if she held just a bit tighter, she would’ve ruined the stems. Yet, even with the small clumsy acts only he knew, she still looked angelic. The white dress hugged her chest and then fell soft on her round hips, the details in lace on the corset and the puffy shoulders were extremely complex with flower patterns and diamonds sewed on them. And he couldn’t see her face, hidden behind the white veil, but he knew that she looked amazing as always.
Eunbi reached the altar first, sending a flying kiss to her father and then sitting with her grandmother and half of the boys on the other side.
When Scarlett reached him, and Johnny lifted her veil and bowed to him before sitting on her side of the aisle, Jaehyun fell in love again. That day, just like he did by now five years before during one of those nights where their love was cursed and impossible. And he surely never imagined being able to love her in plan daylight, he never imagined standing by her side on the altar as her future husband and not as her bodyguard. But here they were, and he felt his heart so full of joy, love, and even incredulity, that it could burst.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, making her lower her head to hide a shy smile. He had spent nights and days reminding her that, and yet, those words still sounded like the first time, they made her heart flip in her chest and shivers run down her spine.
“You too,” she replied before they both turned around, facing the priest. Scarlett handed the bouquet to Eunbi and then the ceremony started.
And when the time for the vows arrived, they faced each other, holding their hands together and looking into each other’s eyes.
“I, Jaehyun, take you, Scarlett, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.”
“I, Scarlett, take you, Jaehyun, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honour you all the days of my life.”
Eunbi shily got up and walked to the altar, handing the wedding rings to the priest so he could bless them and then offered them to Jaehyun. He grabbed one with shaky hands, beaming at the sight of their names engraved in the band and the small diamond in the middle, and then placed it on her finger, saying, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.”
Scarlett held her breath, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to run down her cheeks, and then grabbed the other ring, gently held his hand, and let it slide on his finger, “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Take and wear this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.”
“You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. That God has joined, man must not separate. Amen,” the priest declared. “And by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
“I imagine I can kiss you now?” Jaehyun chuckled, leaning closer to her, and she hummed before leaning in completely, letting their lips meet in a chaste kiss that only lasted for a few seconds as the crowd erupted in cheers and claps and a march started playing, signaling the ending of the ceremony.
They turned around, hands tightened together, and Scarlett reached out to signal Eunbi to reach them and carry with her the bouquet as they walked back down the aisle, waving at people.
“I’m so glad you never stopped fighting for our love, you know, right?” He whispered, the world fading for a moment.
“It was the best choice I have ever taken in my entire life,” she replied, smiling brightly, feeling full, feeling like this was finally the place where they belonged and nothing, absolutely nothing could tear them apart.
“I’m wrecked,” Scarlett huffed, slumping on their bed, kicking the shoes in a corner, the dress falling all around her.
“It must be tiring to be a Queen,” Jaehyun joked, walking toward her, standing at the end of the bed. “Guess you are too tired to have our first time on our wedding night.”
“Oh, my Lord, you do have to know I am very scared since this is my first time,” she joked and they burst out laughing as she turned around and crawl toward him. “I had to hold back a laugh today when the priest asked If we were willing to accept children. What does he think we did with Eunbi?”
“Shut up, I heard you snicker, that was so unprofessional.”
“But it was just too funny, imagine if he knew I’m probably already knocked up with the second one.”
“I don’t think we will be this lucky this time,” Jaehyun chuckled before raising a brow. “Wait, do you feel it?”
She shrugged, fixing the dress and sitting in the middle of the bed, the pompous fabric taking all the space around her. “I didn’t feel her for six months I won’t lie to you and say that I feel a potential peas—sized fetus now.”
“Then I guess we will have to try so hard to be sure we will accept children,” he cooed, leaning down to kiss her. “I promise first times are not so terrible if you have somebody loving you, my lovely wife.”
She chuckled, pushing him off playfully and falling back on the mattress, “do you want me to confess to you something?”
Jaehyun hummed, starting to unbutton his suit.
“You were my first time.”
“Well, do I have to say I am surprised? It is not like you had many boys to sneak around with.”
“Yeah, but I never told you. You should be grateful for that,” she pouted.
“I am grateful for having you by my side,” he replied.
“I was trying to get in the mood of getting you excited over the fact no man ever touched me like that,” she teased, lifting his chin and kissing him.
He smiled, snickering before he pushed her down again, trapping her with his broad body. “You don’t want me to be jealous on our honeymoon night.”
“You have nothing to be jealous about,” she said, letting her hand travel on his toned chest, “but you have something to brag about. I’m sure there are a few men that wished to be in your place, today even,” she smirked, referring to all the Princes, Dukes, and Kings that were invited to their wedding and mostly all of them had been in the list of her proposed husband.
“Trust me, I know,” he smirked, starting to trail kisses on her neck. “They would come to me,” he confessed, lips traveling in the hollow of her chest, “asking for advice. Asking me what would’ve made you fall.”
“And I hope you advised them wrong.”
He chuckled. “It’s not a very wise thing to do. I was honest,” he confessed, pulling away for a moment to let his hand move behind her and undo the strings of her corset. “I would tell them how much you loved irises,” he whispered, unfastening the strings and pulling the dress off of her body slowly, “I would tell them how much you enjoyed playing the piano and singing with your ladies,” he pushed it off, folding it for the better before placing it on the closest armchair before going back to her. The white laced lingerie the only thing covering her body now. “I would tell them that you could talk about philosophy all day long and never get tired of it,” he whispered, hands running over her bare legs and lips doing the same. “I would tell them you loved strolling in the park and go the small lake with the ducks,” he stopped, right over her core, “I didn’t tell them you named each one of them, though.”
She giggled, she had completely forgotten she did that. “We picked them together,” she exclaimed, remembering the afternoon when instead of strolling with the ton where her father wanted her to be, she escaped as always with Jaehyun and made ‘new friends.’
“We did,” he replied, smiling and then picking up his path on her body. “They also don’t know about your collection of poems, the ones you used to write when we would travel for hours, or at night when you couldn’t sleep.”
“So you did keep secrets.”
“I had to keep a little piece of you all to myself,” he confessed, coming close to her face again. “I was more than sure they would’ve found it out soon by themselves when I would’ve lost you completely.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I didn’t.”
Her breath faltered when his lips started kissing her mound, soft and wet over the see—through pattern of her panties before he slowly pulled them off of her, leaving her bare, and his nose nuzzled against the soft short layer of hair before moving down to her lips.
“Jaehyun,” she breathed out, rolling her head back and moving a hand in his hair.
“They don’t know how good you taste,” he whispered, breath fanning against her wetness, the contrast making shivers run down her spine and spread her legs wider. “They don’t know how much you love this,” he added, starting to move his mouth on her again, slow, not leaving out a single patch of sensitive skin, bringing her closer and closer to heaven.
“They will never hear your pretty moans,” he said, pulling away again, leaving her whimpering and whining at the loss, hips bucking up, trying to meet him, wanting to feel him again. “What do you want, darling?” He asked as his fingers traced up on her thighs to her belly and then down, so close to where she was pulsing just for him.
“Need you, please,” she begged, eyes open, staring at him, and hands daring to reach out and move his fingers there, and Jaehyun let her, watching attentively as she guided him on her dripping pussy and their hands started moving together.
“You want this so slow?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to rush tonight,” she confessed, still looking at him. “This is our night. I want it to be – fuck – special.”
“Let me do it, then,” he smiled, moving her hand away, placing it at her side and picking up the movements on her as he leaned down and his lips attached to her wet folds again. His lips moving on her, dancing to a rhythm that drove her insane, following steps he knew by heart. And he kept going for so long, getting intoxicated by her until all her walls came falling down.
They weren’t close to being done, and she already felt on cloud nine, eyes rolled in the back of her head while from her lips low pitched moans rolled out of them as the first orgasm washed over her.
Jaehyun smirked as he slowly pulled away from her body, licking his lips and staring at her. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, meeting her eyes before leaning in and making their mouths meet in a slow but needy kiss. And just as needy were their hands that swiftly moved to get rid of the last pieces of underwear they were wearing, marking each other’s skin as they rolled in the bed.
“I know this is, hmm, not our first night,” he panted through their kisses, “but I want to, want to make it special. Want to take it slow.”
She hummed against his lips, wrapping her legs around his waist, and her hands in his hair, “Love me like you never loved me before,” she whispered, caressing his cheek with her thumb. “Love me like you would lose me but knowing that nothing will tear us apart.”
So, he did, easing himself inside her with no struggle he let their bodies intertwine, and surely that wasn’t the first time, but it still felt special. It was special. After all, it was the sign of a new beginning for them, a new life, a new era where they were equal not only in their hearts but also on paper and in people’s eyes.
“Fuck,” he mumbled, looking at her face contorted in pleasure, “I’m so lucky to have you.”
A warm smile curled her lips as her eyes forced open slightly to stare back at him, but she didn’t say a thing back, just letting the compliment comfort her and his love fill her up.
“Are you truly mine? All mine?” He asked, still in disbelief.
“Yours, always and forever,” she replied, kissing him, muffling their moans, as she let go even more in his warm embrace and the way his cock was dragging in and out of her body increasingly faster, so good to get her head spinning.
And more praises and promises rolled out of Jaehyun’s tongue, sealing into the night, writing themselves down with only the stars and moon to testify. Promises of forever. Promises of a bond that was never going to break. A bond that neither time, or sickness, or death could do apart. It wasn’t til death but beyond death.
“I’m, I’m,” the words died in her throat as her glossy eyes stared up at Jaehyun but he didn’t need her to say anything to know she was close, it was in the way her body was shaking underneath him like a leaf in winter and the way she was clenching hard around him.
“Yeah, love?” He smiled, thumb caressing her cheek and the fingers of his other hand digging into her waist as he pressed her body more against the mattress, hips slamming hard against her ass as his cock filled her up perfectly. “You’re close, right? Want to come already?”
“Yes,” she breathed out with a shaky voice, legs pushing him closer to her body, hips bucking up to meet him mid—way and nails dragging against the skin of his back, marking him.
“Come, but know I’m nowhere done with you,” he said. “Gonna fuck you all night,” he groaned against her lips, “gonna fill you up until you can’t take me anymore. Will make sure I’ll be the only one in your mind once I’m done with you.”
And those words send her over the edge, the possessiveness, his need, his rawness, always drove her crazy, no matter how much she knew there was nothing to prove and nobody that could ever take his place in her life.
And the only thing she could do was to writhe under him and take his first load.
But he didn’t stop. Jaehyun kept his promises of going on and fuck her over and over again, turning her brain into nothing, turning each other into nothing but a mere extension of the other, blending into one another, becoming a mess into each other’s hold, not knowing where one started and the other ended.
And they lost count of how many times they came, the remains of their passion on the mess they made on the sheets and their tired bodies.
But it didn’t matter, nothing mattered anymore if not them.
That was only the begging.
July had been filled with plans. Taking care of a reign in shambles was hard. Scarlett could’ve never imagined her father let it go so badly, but slowly, she was pulling pieces back together with new policies, laws that protected workers and their economy, more exchanges with some other neighbouring reigns and so on.
“You should spend some time at our house in the countryside, sweetheart,” her mother had told her one day, entering the war room and watching her stress out over some documents she couldn’t find.
“No, we can’t,” she replied, head between papers as she silently prayed her father didn’t lose anything. “Maybe you, Jaehyun and Eunbi could go. She needs a break.”
“She?” The ex—monarch asked, raising a brow. “She’s doing more than fine. Sure, spending days stressing the maids because she follows them everywhere and wants to help with everything, but she’s fine.”
Scarlett chuckled for a moment, thinking about her daughter and then how little she was seeing her lately. And it wasn’t because she was busy, not only for that at least, but because it was true that Eunbi became friends with anybody there. The other day she even started talking with the master of horses and had already asked him if she could learn how to ride.
“Maybe you can take her downtown,” she added, opening another folder, and skimming through it. “She needs somebody her age to play with, can’t stress everybody here.”
Her mother sighed, walking closer to her, helping her to look through the files once she told her what she was looking for. “Talking about other kids,” she started, a small smirk curling her lips, creating more wrinkles on her tired face. “Jaehyun’s not so good at keeping secrets.”
Scarlett huffed, rolling her eyes, slamming a folder close, infuriated she still didn’t find what she was looking for.
“I’m not pregnant,” she replied, looking at her. Her warm brown eyes, her grey hair styled in five neat cornrows wrapped in a low bun behind her head, lips tinted of a deep red still pulled in her usual smirk saying, ‘I am your mother, I know.’
“Don’t give me that look,” she said.
“I am not giving you any look, I am just saying that is not recommended for a pregnant woman to be this stressed.”
“But I am not,” she complained, trying to put the scattered papers in place to at least don’t have more mess on the table.
“Are you sure? You look tired.”
“I am, and not because of a baby. You cannot feel it, you didn’t realize it with Eunbi.”
“I had no idea you did anything physical. Sorry, I imagined you a vir–“
“Enough,” she stopped her, lifting her finger up. “Mom, I am fine. Thank you for your concerns, but they are not necessary.”
She hummed, and then lifted a paper, “is this what you were looking for?”
Scarlett looked over, eyes squeezing to read better the writing on it. “Yes, how did you find it? I’ve been looking for it for hours.”
Her mother smiled, shrugging, “It’s a mother thing.”
She smiled and then hugged her without thinking. It wasn’t something they were used to doing, probably they only hugged three times their entire life, but it was nice.
“If you find out, let me know this time.”
“I didn’t mean to hide it from you. You know who you have to blame.”
“I know,” she replied before walking to the other side of the door. “My offer still stands, think about it. Maybe you and your lovely husband want to try in more… peace,” she winked and before Scarlett could curse, she went out of the door.
But Scarlett sighed, letting her body rest against the long oval wooden table, placing a hand on her side before her hand unconsciously moved on her stomach.
“No,” she exclaimed out loud, standing up straight, and shaking her head. She wasn’t tired because she was pregnant. The headaches, the fatigue she felt, the bloating, nothing was related to another kid, right? Her last period arrived, but she also got it meant nothing, and also that was by now a month ago, so if this month skipped… “it’s not the time and place to think about that,” she scolded herself, turning her attention to her papers again.
Her mind, though, couldn’t keep the same focus for the rest of the day, always drifting on something else, thinking that the idea of taking it with more calm wasn’t so bad, but that meant she needed to get things done now. So, she had decided to leave, deal with some outer problems now that she could and then come back, and if it was needed take some time to rest.
Seeing Eunbi cry tore her heart in two, it was bad even when Jaehyun had to leave, but she had never been without her mother, not for so long at least, and it hurt her a lot too, but it was necessary. But it made her think for the whole ride if maybe Eunbi got too excited over things without thinking them through. Sure, it was natural for a baby, but maybe she did that too much. And once again she wondered if the idea of adding another member to their family was a smart thing to do.
“You look terrible,” Donghyuck pointed out midway to another reign.
“And you are always nice.”
“No, I am saying that you look stressed, worried. Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, I am just thinking about these meetings that we have. I’m not really sure how I am going to win some people back after what my father had done,” she lied, forcing a smile on her face and then looking out of the window.
She just wanted these two weeks to pass fast, seal those deals so she wouldn’t have to worry about those other countries anymore, and then go back home to her family.
Little did she know, she wouldn’t have come back alone.
“Why are you walking back and forth like this?” Jaehyun asked her. They were outside, enjoying an afternoon tea while Eunbi ran around with some of her maids and occasionally showed them some flowers she picked up or ranted about some insect she caught. But Scarlett seemed off, she seemed off for a while now, but she shrugged it off with work any time he would bring the topic up.
“I have a weird feeling,” she confessed. Turning around to sit next to him on the white chair.
“Weird as in bad or good?” He asked, raising a brow, placing the journal he was reading on the table next to him.
“Good… I guess,” she replied. “I feel weird.”
Jaehyun stared at her, he wanted to ask her if it was related to a possible pregnancy but didn’t, for some reason, he was terrified of touching the wrong buttons and setting her off. He didn’t want to seem too apprehensive over the thing. They already fucked enough in any possible occasion they had, so he truly didn’t think it was necessary to remind her about it and point out that nothing still happened. More anxiety was the last thing she needed.
“We can call the doctor.”
She huffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m not sick, not for…” she sighed, waving him off and starting to walk again. “My period skipped,” she confessed with no hesitation and Jaehyun almost risked a heart attack, slamming his flat palm against his chest while he coughed.
“What? And what were you waiting at telling me that?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to be sure but I’m like four weeks late now, so unless my hormones are messing with me for other reasons…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked again, voice weirdly high.
“I was waiting for other signs; I don’t want to give your hopes up. I feel weird but not... I don’t know how to explain,” she clarified, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t feel extremely bad but I do feel different but I don’t know if it’s all in my head because I want it so much. I’ve read somewhere that one of the reasons some women find out later that they’re pregnant, as had happened withEunbi, it’s because the body rejects it and what if the opposite is possible too? That I’m simply going crazy and sensing things?”
“First of all, don’t stress about it,” he comforted her. “But you are always sleepy lately, isn’t that a sign?”
“But I also work a lot, it may mean absolutely nothing.” Tearing apart the symptoms of pregnancy and all the anxiety she felt due to the rhythm of being a newly set Queen was hard. She had come back from the trip and was beyond tired, not being able to sleep a lot in other countries. And even when she came back she had many things to set up and Donghyuck’s help wasn’t enough, and he also had his kingdom to deal with.
Jaehyun quirked a brow, trying to think about something more that had happened during the past days. He was keeping a closer look on her, not to sound like a psycho but considering how much they were doing it, and for how long, they had to have fit a fertile window. And, considering they didn’t have problems with conception and fertility, it was just a matter of time. He didn’t want to be paranoic, he simply wanted to make sure she was alright.
“You are moodier,” he dared to say, hoping she wouldn’t get mad. “And didn’t you scream the other day when Eunbi accidentally hit your boob?”
“And?”
“Sore breasts? Isn’t that another sign?”
She nodded and then chuckled, “how do you know all those things?”
Jaehyun shrugged, he wasn’t going to tell her he had asked around and informed himself just to be ready. Pregnancy was a painful thing, it wasn’t only rainbow and roses, and since he wasn’t the one going through that, the least he could do was try to help her as much as possible, and being informed was the only way.
“Should we call a doctor? Or should I take a test?” Scarlett asked, fumbling with her fingers nervously.
“It’s up to you, love.”
“What if… what if I am not?”
“That would be fine anyway. Nobody’s running after us.”
“But I…” she sighed, running a hand on her face, giving up on finishing the sentence. “Let’s take a test then.”
“Great, but no tears if it’s negative, alright? We are already blessed with one, and then we can always keep on trying. I surely do not mind having so much fun with you,” he joked, winking before pulling her close in a kiss.
Some days later they were walking back and forth in their bedroom, impatiently waiting for the result to show on the test sitting on the windowsill.
“Can you look at it for me?” Scarlett asked when enough minutes passed.
Jaehyun hummed, gathering the courage to walk toward it, never feeling so scared in his entire life. Yes, he truly believed what he had told her, they were young and had so many other changes, but a part of him just couldn’t wait. He wanted to meet their new baby as soon as possible.
So he picked the test up, closed his eyes, and scrolled it from the fluid before taking a deep breath and lifting it just enough so he could see the results.
And his heart skipped a beat as his body stilled mouth open, eyes incredulous and hands shaking.
“So? Is it negative?” Scarlett asked from behind him, worried about his reaction. “Babe?”
Jaehyun turned around, moving his lips to speak but he couldn’t find the words, tears starting to fall from his eyes before he could stop.
“Babe?” Scarlett asked rushing to him.
“We’ll be parents again,” he breathed out, snapping from his block, making her stop in her tracks, now being the one in utter shock.
“I’m… I’m pregnant?”
“Yes, babe. You’re carrying our kid again.”
Scarlett brought her hands to her mouth in disbelief and started crying too before running the few steps that divided her from him and falling into his arms.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jaehyun whispered, voice muffled against her hair as he held her tight. “I’ll be here with you. I’ll watch you change and do something so brave for us.”
She smiled, more happy tears running down her cheeks, snuggling closer to him, inhaling his scent deeply.
This was how it was supposed to go.
With him by his side. Feeling safe and protected. Feeling in the right place in the world.
This time nothing bad would’ve happened, she wouldn’t have had to walk miles with a heavy heart and mourn him, and she wouldn’t have to give birth to their child in a small living room risking her life.
“Are you happy?” Jaehyun asked and she nodded against his chest, hugging him tighter.
“I can’t wait to do this with you and Eunbi by my side.”
It turned out that having Jaehyun by her side was probably more stressful than helpful considering how paranoid over everything he would get. Rarely leaving her side, always making sure she was feeling fine, proposing to take some matters into his hands since he was the King too and he didn’t want her to overwork herself.
But it was fun, seeing him so considerate.
And what was nicest was the way his hand always found a way to wrap around her stomach.
He was obsessed with it, caressing her on any given occasion, or walking two fingers on her covered skin when they were laying in bed, making silly voices. He couldn’t care that there wasn’t a bump yet, he knew their baby was inside and that was all he cared about.
But his obsession was exactly the giveaway for other people to be suspicious. Nobody knew officially, Scarlett was superstitious and wanted to keep it a secret until the risk of miscarriage started to lower, and considering she was at the th week it was just a matter of time before they could’ve made it official, but everybody could see it anyway from the way they changed.
How she was much more careful. How she cut off some foods from her diet. How she was more tired, and also how much Jaehyun insisted for her to sleep when she felt the need to, assuring her he could take over for a while. How Jaehyun always prepared tea for her in the afternoon.
When they delivered the news, it was a Saturday night in late August, they decided to do a cosy dinner all together with no other people around.
“So, I guess there’s a reason behind this?” Johnny said when they were almost done, the cake was the only thing left to eat – much to Eunbi’s happiness.
“What?” Scarlett played dumb. “We always used to do this back at home. We’ve simply been busy.”
“Yeah, busy fuck—” Yuta started before Taeyong slapped a hand on his mouth.
“There’s a kid,” he reminded him, glaring at him.
“Sorry, Jesus,” he whined, rolling his eyes and head back.
“Well, he is correct, though,” Scarlett chuckled, placing her hand on Jaehyun’s, making Taeyong’s gaze fall there.
“No,” Taeyong whispered in shock, mouth open. “For real?”
“We are waiting for another baby,” Jaehyun announced, eyes running over his friends.
“Oh, thank God we don’t have to pretend we don’t know it anymore,” Johnny exclaimed, clapping.
“You knew?” They exclaimed with Taeyong.
“Why was I the only one who didn’t?” Taeyong asked, head snapping left and right to glare at all his friends.
“Yeah, and how you knew it,” she asked, turning around to look at Jaehyun but he raised his hands.
“I kept my mouth shut.”
“We could feel it,” Mark explained, a big smile on his face, “he’s always next to you and he always has a hand around your tummy. Remember that this is how I found out about Eunbi?”
At hearing her name, Eunbi raised her head, furrowing as she tried to understand what they were talking about, she wasn’t really listening, too busy eating the cake and playing a story in her mind between the small fork and spoon.
“Me?”
“Yeah, the first one in this room that knew about you was uncle Mark,” her mom explained and she smiled widely.
“And Daddy?”
“I wasn’t there, unfortunately,” Jaehyun said, a bitter smile on his face. A new baby was never going to replace the fact that he never felt her kick in Scarlett’s belly, couldn’t sing her songs and didn’t live it by their side. He knew it wasn’t his fault, he also knew that it was a miracle that they found each other again, but it still hurt him, nonetheless.
“But you were always there with me, Dada.”
“Once you were out.”
“Out? Out of the door?”
They all laughed, shaking their heads at her cute, confused expression and her cream—stained lips.
“Tell me we won’t have that talk right now?” Yuta asked and Scarlett waved him off.
“Before being here in the world, every being spends some time in their mom’s tummy,” Scarlett started explaining.
Her mouth opened. “You had me there?” She asked, pointing at her tummy and Scarlett nodded.
“And right now, there’s somebody else here.”
“Inside you?”
“Yeah.”
“It moved in?”
They all burst laughing, she was so innocent and yet curious it was funny how she tried to come up with a solution even if she had no idea what they were talking about.
“No, baby, it doesn’t work like this, you can’t get back there,” she said.
“Then who’s there? Do we know them?”
“Not yet,” Jaehyun said. “In around five months you’ll meet them.”
“And remember what we said some time ago? About you not being alone anymore,” Scarlett asked.
Eunbi’s eyes lightened up, only now starting to realize where this was going. “There’s my sister!” She screamed, letting the spoon fall and standing up on the chair, making Jaehyun wrap a hand around her so she couldn’t fall. “You made my sister! I didn’t know you can make them in your belly.”
“Yes, let’s say it works like this,” Scarlett cut that short, reaching for her to stop her from jumping on the spot – damned habit when she was excited. “And we don’t know if it’s going to be a sister. You can’t decide, remember?”
She furrowed again, “But you made her, you can make her how you like. Can she be shorter than me? I want to be the tallest.”
“Okay, let’s not start, now,” Scarlett chuckled. “It’s not that easy, you decide to have a baby but how it comes out it’s all up to destiny.”
“Who’s destiny? Do we know her?”
“Bibi,” Jaehyun chuckled, trying to make her understand but it was just too funny to keep a straight face, especially when the others were all bent in two laughing.
“No, we don’t know her. We know Désirée, Yuta’s girlfriend,” she said, placing a hand under her chin trying to think if she met anybody named destiny.
Yuta choked on his saliva, “Hey! That’s not true.”
“You were with her the other day downtown,” she retorted. “They spent all the time talking about travels and she said she wants to see the rest of the world.”
“That doesn’t mean that... ugh. Why is she so nosy?” He asked her parents and they shrugged.
“Going back to the baby,” her mother said, bringing Eunbi’s attention to her again to leave poor Yuta to breathe. “You have to be patient. With time, we’ll find out if it’s a boy or a girl and in some years, we’ll see who will be the tallest, alright?”
“I will be. Look, I’m so big right now. How tall is she? How can she fit in you if she’s big? Oh my,” she gasped, “is she pushing you?” She asked worried, reaching forward to touch her mother’s belly and caress it.
“No, she’s too small to move for now,” she replied. “Wait, stop saying she, we don’t know. We’ll use them, fine? Do you like it?”
She hummed, happily. “If she hurts you tell me, I’ll tell her that noooobody can touch Mama.”
They all chuckled affectionately at her words, smiling tenderly when she made grabby hands and let Scarlett take her in her arms.
“When they’ll start moving you can always singe them a lullaby, or caress the belly, it will calm them,” Jaehyun said, caressing her cheek.
“Can I sing her our song?”
Scarlett dropped her shoulders at her using ‘she’ again but chuckled. It was clear that she really wanted a sister.
“You can sing them everything you want, baby,” Jaehyun said.
“Then can we go to bed, now? You can sing us the song so we’ll both fall asleep together,” she asked, pouting.
“Is this what we have to do to make you go to sleep early?” Taeyong asked, shocked she was the one proposing to go to bed.
“I’m good,” she huffed, crossing her arms and pouting at him.
“But you always put up a scene when it’s time to sleep,” he sang, wiggling his head, making faces at her, making her laugh.
“But we have so many things to do,” she whined, placing her hands on the table and lifting the weight of her body on them to get closer to Taeyong. “I was chasing butterflies and you made me go to bed.”
“You’ve been chasing butterflies?” Jaehyun asked, gently caressing her back.
“Yeah, they were all so… so…” she stopped, thinking of the word, “with colours and pretty.”
“They were colourful, was that what you were trying to say?” Scarlett asked.
“Yeah, colourful!”
“We’ll put her to sleep and then we’ll come back,” Jaehyun said, signaling her to jump off her mom’s lap.
“Oh, you’re back already,” Doyoung noted, eyeing the clock and seeing that had passed just ten minutes since they left.
“Well, she was tired for the day and said she was trying to meet the baby in her sleep, so,” Scarlett explained, giggling, before sitting back on her seat.
“We’re all very happy for you, by the way,” Johnny said, smiling at his friends. “We couldn’t wait for you to drop the big news, suspecting it but not being able to say anything was kind of killing us.”
They smiled, holding hands. “I just wanted to be sure to be over the big risks of miscarriage, you know... the other one is not the news you want to tell people after you gave them this one.”
They hummed, getting her point. “But talking about happy things,” Mark said, leaning closer to her, “How do you feel? Have you picked a list of names yet? Would you prefer a boy or a girl? Come on, tell us how it’s going.”
Jaehyun rolled his eyes and Scarlett chuckled, “God, you haven’t changed a bit.”
Taking advantage of the baby’s bump not being so big for now, they had decided to do the changes in the palace as soon as possible. Her mother proposed to call somebody else, but they didn’t want to. They basically built an entire house from scratch, their first place, so they could surely adjust two rooms.
“We’ll bring you closer to us, but not too much, so if the baby screams or cries at night you won’t hear a thing,” Scarlett said, explaining to Eunbi why they picked the room at the end of the corridor to be hers and not the one right next to their chamber. The walls were thick, but a baby was still a baby, and even if they were just born their lungs were so strong you could hear them from miles.
“I like this,” she said, looking around; it was bigger than the other she had and had a big balcony that let a lot of light wash in even if there was a fence that didn’t let her have access outside.
“This was the room where I used to play the piano and study,” Scarlett reminisced. It was now empty, ready to move Eunbi’s things in, but it was still filled with memories.
“Your mom spent her days here,” Jaehyun said as he pushed her bed against the wall, fixing the light lilac drape that fell from the structure of the bed shaped like a house. “She always played the piano and sang.” They looked at each other, smiling tenderly, thinking back at their past days spent there.
“And you listened to her?” She asked, running to him to give him some pillows to place on her already made bed.
“I was there to protect her, but yeah, I used to get lost in her voice. Don’t tell her,” he whispered, “but she had the most angelic voice I’ve ever heard.”
Eunbi giggled, and Scarlett smiled, “I heard you.”
“Oops, and wait until she finds out that made me fall for her.”
“Can you sing for me, Mama?”
“We have your room to decorate.”
“We sing and decorate,” Eunbi proposed, already walking to the pile of boxes with her things. “There’s no shaking horse,” she whined, looking around and not seeing it.
“I told Johnny she was going to find out immediately,” Jaehyun said. “Remember that you wanted it to be a unicorn?” She nodded. “Johnny’s making a miracle, that’s why it’s not here.”
“Oh, I knew he would, he promised me,” she cheered happily, now calm, knowing nobody took it away from her.
“Why don’t we take care of your playing corner?” Scarlett proposed, walking to the other side of the room. “We’ll hang that drape and then we’ll put that big, fluffy, round cushion right under it.”
“Here,” Eunbi said, giving her the pink drape, “Don’t fall,” she warned when her mother climbed on a ladder to insert the tent around the round wire hanging from the ceiling.
“Scarlett,” Jaehyun called her, “what did we say about you doing those things?”
“I’m fine,” she huffed. “Here, it’s hanged,” she reassured them both, climbing down and pushing the ladder to the side.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jaehyun muttered, going back to the other side to assemble the small heart—shaped library.
“Daddy’s too paranoic,” she chuckled as Eunbi placed the pink pillow under it, fixing the curtain around it.
“We don’t want you and baby to hurt,” she replied with a pout.
“I know, Mama and baby are fine,” she comforted. “And now the pillows, and the plushies.”
Eunbi smiled, rushing to grab the last things missing and then started placing them how she liked them the most.
“And we’re down with this,” Scarlett cheered. “You can pull the curtain all around you or leave it open,” she explained, showing it to her. “And soon we’ll also hang a small lamp if you want to read, but try to do it in the light, alright? It’s for your eyes.”
She hummed. “Can Dada put the library here?”
“Yes, wherever you want it.”
“I want this corner to be for… uhm… things I like?”
“Why don’t you grab those big boxes and take them here? We can put them against the wall and order all your toys inside.”
“I love it,” she exclaimed, rushing to take them.
“Order them as you like. I’ll help dad, fine?”
“So, any help?”
“You can sit and play with Eunbi,” he replied, dismissing her.
“Jae, I’m not about to die, I’m fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m only always hungry and I have a disgusting amount of vaginal discharges but I assure you it’s something I can survive with.” The baby was starting to grow, it was almost the end of the fourth month, and she could see a faint highlight of a tummy, but she didn’t have any bad symptoms. Actually, the terrible nauseous of the first months disappeared.
He giggled, “is it given to hormones?”
“I guess, they are always the ones to blame, right?”
“I know I’m annoying at times but… I want to make sure you’re safe,” he said, placing down the hammer to look at her.
“I know, but I’m not dumb. I know my limits, I would never push myself past them, so I will keep me and baby,” she chuckled, making him giggle too, “safe.” Not really liking to keep it gender-neutral, Eunbi came up with the solution of calling it baby because, apparently, it helped her to be reminded less of the 50% of possibility of having a brother.
“We need to come up with a name, maybe sooner than we did with her. I don’t know what were you waiting exactly to name her.”
“Hey, I was a broken-hearted widow,” she joked, pushing his arm playfully. “And also she came out of me before the due time, I wasn’t expecting her.”
“Fine, but this time we’ll have a name before the seventh month.”
“As you wish my King,” she kidded, kissing his cheek.
“Mom, Dad, I put them in place,” Eunbi screamed, happy about how she had fixed her toys in the boxes. “Can we decor the outside?”
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
After Jaehyun was done with the library, he sat down next to her, helping them decorate the boxes, gluing glitters, and attaching stickers and wooden crafts they had painted together. And little by little, the whole room came together. The canopy bed was at its place in the middle of the room with pillows, her plushies and her comfort blanket, at its side there was a small bedside table where she could keep the essentials. On the other side of the room, there was her play corner, with the curtain and pillow and all the boxes with her toys, the heart—shaped library, and her dollhouse. And what took most of the wall was the closet. The only things missing to decorate were the shelves on the walls and the small vanity table next to the balcony.
“Do you like it?” Jaehyun asked Eunbi.
“I love this soooo much,” she exclaimed with a big smile on her face, “it’s just how I wanted it. It only misses the shaking horse and my little sister.”
They chuckled, “your little sister?”
“Or brother,” she shrugged, pouting. “Can they play with me?” She asked, entering the shelter in the corner.
“Babies are delicate when they are born,” Jaehyun explained.
“But look!” She exclaimed, touching the pillow under her. “Here is so soft.”
Scarlett giggled. “They will play with you but not immediately, you have to wait some more.”
She furrowed, tilting her head as she stared at her parents with a confused expression.
“And what can we do together?” She asked, pouting, crawling out of there to reach her mom that was sitting on the rocking chair and asking her to grab her, struggling to find a place on her leg since she didn’t want to press against the belly, even if for now it wasn’t extremely big.
“You can hold them in your arms and lull them, sing them a lullaby, and then you’ll give them your first toys. Just wait three months and your little brother or sister will play with you.”
“And baby won’t sleep here?”
“No, honey,” Jaehyun said, caressing her hair, “baby will be very loud, and you want to sleep at night, right?”
She hummed. “And baby’s room will be my old one?”
“No, we’ll move the nursery on our right, so we’ll have each one of you at our side,” he replied, smiling at her.
“So, we will all be close to each other.”
When they started decorating the nursery for the new baby, she was halfway through the fifth month. Her belly had grown a lot, and so did the back pains.
And the back pains were the only thing that made her sit down and simply watch Jaehyun fix everything. Eunbi was out with Taeyong, he had brought her to the bakery because Jaemin had called him for help and he decided to bring her along.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked, furrowing.
“You’re cute,” Jaehyun explained, pushing the mattress in the white crib, and diverting his gaze from her.
“I’m just eating,” she mumbled, pushing down a bite of the fruit she was devouring.
“It’s baby, isn’t it?”
“Well, baby is the reason I’m craving so much food, but fruits are good for the both of us,” she explained. “You know that I like calling it baby? It’s soft.”
Jaehyun chuckled. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about letting her choose a name. She will make something up from her fantasy’s worlds.”
Scarlett laughed. “No, but can we pick it with her?”
“Yeah, once we’ll have the names and she can have a normal list to pick from.”
She smiled, getting up, helping him push the armchair next to the crib, and receiving a glare.
“I thought you had back pain.”
“I have them but it’s just a chair, don’t worry. Instead, do you have something in mind?”
“How to call it?”
She hummed and then started passing him the pack of diapers to put in the drawers of the changing table.
“We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl,” he said, pausing for a moment to think. “Wait, you’re 19 weeks in, we should know it at your next control, right?”
“Yeah…” she said, “I’m not sure I want to know.”
“You don’t?”
She shrugged. “We can have a surprise or something.”
“This pregnancy is too calm for you, isn’t it? You really do love the thrill of things.”
She laughed, “Stop it, now. I don’t know if I want to find out.”
“You are terrified it’s a boy, you don’t want it just like Eunbi.”
“I don’t care, I wouldn’t mind a little you walking around,” she smiled, bopping his nose.
“What if their twins?”
“They’re not,” she almost screamed, voice strangled in her throat, already panicking just at the possibility of carrying two instead of one. “You saw the echography, it’s just one, a small bean.”
“Can we have a third one then?”
“Oh, Lord, let me get through this one first, please,” she laughed.
“I know, it’s just,” he pulled her close, kissing her lips softly, “I think that three it’s the perfect number.”
“I’m fine with that but not in one single pregnancy.”
“Have I told you that you look beautiful like this,” he said, hands caressing her tummy.
“It’s starting to show a little,” she smiled dumbly, pulling up the shirt, “I can’t wait for it to be so round I can’t even see my feet.”
“Eunbi was big, I think you should be grateful she came out before, or else it would’ve been even worse.”
“She was, I felt like a big balloon going around,” she giggled. “What will you do baby?”
At that moment the baby kicked, making them still.
“It kicked! Did you see the little feet,” she exclaimed, looking at him with wide—open eyes.
“It did, I want to feel it,” he said, placing a hand on her and almost crying when he finally felt their baby move.
“It’s so strong,” he whispered in awe.
“Oh, no, another one running around just like her?” She chortled but her eyes were watery.
“Are you crying? It has never done it before?”
She shook her head. “This is the first time.”
“I’m so happy right now.”
“I think baby’s happy too.”
“Does it hurt?” He asked, still amazed as he kept his hand there.
She shook her head. “It’s weird, I haven’t felt something move in me in ages but no, it doesn’t,” she explained, still smiling widely. “Is it weird if I say that I already want to meet them?”
Jaehyun smiled, pulling her closer, gently caressing the bump, “I think it’s more than normal.”
“But not because I want them out,” she explained, “like not for now, I’m still not heavy and round enough to want the belly to go away but I’m just so eager to know what it will be like this time.”
“Yeah, I agree with you,” he smiled, caressing her cheek. “I can’t get you on the round part but for the rest…” he chuckled.
“I want to see our kids play together. I know Eunbi will be such a great sister, she loves the baby so deeply already.”
“I want that too, but you know what,” he whispered, leaning closer, “I think we should enjoy these months, not only because they will be the last of sleep for a while,” he joked, making her laugh, “but because I want to walk this path with you slowly, and let’s be honest, time will fly.”
She hummed, nodding. It was true that time passed in the blink of an eye, so there was no need to wish it would rush up even more.
“I truly want to be here with you this time, and I want to savour every moment of it, Scarlett.”
At the end, they did find out the sex of the baby. They told the obgyn to don’t tell them and write it down in the envelope with the echography.
And now Eunbi was excitedly sitting on her parent’s big bed with the letter in her hands, waiting for them to give her the signal to open it and be the first one to discover what it was.
“Are you ready?” Jaehyun asked her, keeping his arms around Scarlett and feeling the baby kick hard, caressing her tummy hoping it would calm down.
“Yes, I open it now,” she said, sweaty hands fumbling with the tongue of the package before she pulled the paper out and closed her eyes. She was a little bit nervous because she had spent days trying to learn how the words ‘sister’ and ‘brother’ were written and she was terrified she would forget, but then remembered that if it was a girl it would have a small purple heart and green if it was a boy so she took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
She furrowed for a moment to read the letters and her heart jumped in her throat when she read the first one.
“It’s a sister! I was right! I was right!” She jumped up, crawling to her mother to show her. “Look si-sis-ster! You made me a sister!”
Jaehyun and Scarlett looked at her tenderly, almost crying when she hugged the tummy and started leaving kisses on it.
“Are you happy?” She asked, turning around to look at Jaehyun, caressing his face when she saw his teary eyes.
They were expecting another baby girl.
“Never been happier,” he said, “can’t wait to add another amazing woman in my life.”
“Shut up, you’ll make me cry,” she whined, already feeling emotional. She didn’t care much about it being a boy or a girl but she still felt her heart fill up with joy. Probably it was because Jaehyun had stayed with her at the first daughter and now even at the second, unlike her father. Or maybe it was because she only cared about the joy in Eunbi’s eyes, and now it was overflowing.
“We’ll have another baby girl,” Jaehyun said to Eunbi when she pulled away from her tummy.
“I’m so happy,” she exclaimed, struggling to walk on the mattress to rush in her father’s arms, letting him lift her up and make her spin in the air.
“You can make us the flower crowns,” she said, “and then I’ll give her aaall my dresses and we’ll play princess and I’ll teach her how to read.”
“You were so good at reading before,” he praised her, swinging around.
“I can be a big sister now, I can make you so pride of me,” she chanted, moving her eyes from him to her mother.
“We are already so proud of you, little bird,” he reassured her, moving her hair back and then starting to play with her again, making her do the airplane in the air, their laughs mixing together.
And Scarlett didn’t move, knowing for sure that, if she dared touch the ground, her knees wouldn’t have supported her, and simply watched the scene after looking down at the 6 centimetres baby inside of her and holding her belly hard. Tears falling silently on her face but from happiness.
She had never felt fuller of love in her entire life. Her daughters were never going to have to fight for love and respect because they were so loved. And that was all she needed to know that she had made the right choices years before.
Sisterhood was a beautiful gift, a rare gem to protect, and knowing that Eunbi was already cherishing it so much, made her heart jump with joy.
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Eunbi! Happy birthday to you!” Eunbi smiled before blowing on the candles on her big cake, marking another milestone of her life, her fourth birthday.
Scarlett and Jaehyun were standing behind her, hugging each other as they tried to push back the tears seeing how big she had gotten. Their baby was four. An amazing, strong, intelligent four years old little girl.
“Did you make a wish?” Scarlett asked, leaning closer to her, and caressing her shoulder.
“Yes, but I can’t tell it,” she replied. “I also made one for us.”
“Oh, did you?” She cooed and Eunbi hummed. “You’re so kind, baby. I hope all your wishes will come true.”
“Thank you, Mama,” she smiled. “And now cake,” she said and started chanting ‘cake’ with her two kindergarten friends that came to the party, Fei and Amelia, the son of one of the maids whom she got close to, Ben, and Donghyuck’s son, Sungmin.
“Alright, time to eat this delicious cake uncles Jaem and Yong prepared,” Jaehyun said, grabbing a knife and starting to cut it. “First slice to the birthday girl, shall we?” He asked, looking at the other kids in line that nodded in agreement. “And here you go, princess,” he beamed, handing her a plate full of cake.
“Thank you, Dada,” she smiled. “I’ll wait for you at my table,” she told to her friends, starting to walk toward the smaller kid’s table with her plate in hand, a fake tiara on top of her head and a puffy dress swinging around.
Once everyone was served, they sat down at their table, chatting with the others. Eunbi wanted a party outside, but considering it was the 13th of November that surely wasn’t the smartest idea. But opening the ballroom and setting it up how she liked it the most (lilac everywhere — at this point it was an obsession that didn’t seem to pass — balloons, flowers and tents they made up with chairs and table), made her happy anyway.
“She’s so big now,” Taeyong whispered, leaning against Scarlett’s arm while his gaze was on Eunbi that was eating the cake and talking with her friends. “I remember when I held her the first time in my arms.”
Scarlett hummed, “sight? It seems yesterday and it’s been four years.”
“All the times I had to prepare your favourite soup because you had cravings, and all the songs we sang to make her calm down.”
“Yeah, and what about all the help you gave me with all the disgusting aspects of pregnancy?”
“I wouldn’t call them disgusting, more painful and annoying for those going through that, but a little help while puking didn’t kill anybody,” he answered, smiling at the memories. “I was so excited to meet her, I admit, I was happy when your water broke before the due date.”
“You were happy? I was literally terrified. She never gave me time to mentally prepare for anything.”
Taeyong laughed. “She loves a surprise entrance every time,” he joked. “Guess she will do great things in her life. She either goes big or goes home.”
“Yeah. When she started crawling so soon and climbed everywhere and as soon as she started talking she never stopped.”
“She wants to learn how to read so bad,” he said. “The other day she made me redo the lesson schedule because I didn’t put in reading time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, she’s my boss. She takes care of me.”
“It’s the revenge because you still make her sleep in the afternoon.”
“Maybe, but she still needs it. And I don’t get why sleeping it’s such a big thing, I’d pay for someone to force me in bed and don’t do anything all day.”
Scarlett chuckled. “I agree. But she has so much to discover,” she smiled, moving forward to ask Jaehyun, that was talking with Johnny at their side, to cut her another slice of cake. “She remembers the name of every single maid and I think that at this point she even talks with the walls.”
“Here’s your cake,” Jaehyun interrupted them, handing her the plate.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling at him. “I don’t know what you and Jaem put in this, but I’m addicted,” she hummed, grabbing a spoonful and then eating it.
Taeyong giggled, “I think the cravings are altering your taste but thanks.”
“No, seriously,” she said after swallowing, “You outdid yourself, it’s so good.”
“She’s enjoying it too, I guess,” he joked, pointing his head at the tummy where Scarlett was lightly tapping, he guessed, to keep her calm.
“Yeah, she woke up at the second bite,” she replied, looking down for a moment, smiling tenderly.
“How are you keeping up?” He asked, he saw her every day but their main focus was Eunbi’s progress or other things that had nothing to do with her. “I’m kind of sad I’m not as present as the last time.”
“You won a kid and that’s Eunbi,” she joked. “By the way, I’m doing… fine, I guess.”
He quirked a brow, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m just more tired. I’m very happy, don’t misunderstand, but everything happened so fast. Moving here, becoming a Queen, getting married and I’ve been pregnant with her basically since then. I wanted another baby but none of us was expecting our tries to be this lucky on the first round.”
“You didn’t assimilate everything…”
“Yeah, I feel so high and it’s good, but I’m older now, and it’s also tiring. The rush of good things hits different now than when you’re in your early twenties.”
“And a pregnancy, too,” he added, holding the now empty plate for her and passing the napkin to clean up.
“I feel so good and even hot in my skin some days but then some others I feel so wrong, all the marks, and the bloating, and the swollen feet and hands. The other day I had to take off the wedding ring,” she sighed, playing with it. “And then I crave so much fruit, I’m obsessed with it just as much as Bi’s obsessed with light purple.”
“Don’t call it that, she gets offended,” he joked and then imitated her, “Lilac, even the name is pretty.”
Scarlett laughed, watching as the kids got back playing and smiling tenderly when she saw her mother loosen up a little and play with them. “I get offended if someone brings me red grapes instead of white, we’re both annoying.”
“If it makes you feel better,” he said, grabbing her hand and caressing the palm, “you do look amazing. You have a glow when you’re pregnant that makes you look so radiant, especially when you’re also with Eunbi. Motherhood looks great on you.”
Damned, hormones, she felt like crying now. “You are my number one supporter even for this now,” she replied, leaning closer to hug him. “I love you so much, Yong. Thank you for taking care of her just like you did when you didn’t even meet her yet.”
Jaehyun was beyond anxious, the more months passed the more it seemed like he couldn’t calm down, and that also included sex. He was incredibly delicate, terrified of doing anything. Treating her so, so carefully.
Scarlett didn’t feel extremely aroused, but the hormones sometimes picked up so bad that lust filled her brain completely, yet, Jaehyun seemed terrified of her and she was getting tired of it.
“Am I ugly? Do I don’t live up to your pregnant body expectations?” She asked one day. They were done getting ready to sleep and Jaehyun didn’t even spare her a glance as she was getting undressed. The six months belly was already pretty round and showing in all glory. “I thought you couldn’t wait to see me full of you and what now? Is it because I also gained weight? Are the new stretchmarks the problems? Is it my breast? What?”
“What?” He asked, turning around with wide eyes, not understanding her random rant. “You think I don’t find you… beautiful like this?”
She chuckled bitterly, “You hesitated, you find me repulsive.”
“Repulsive? Are you insane? I always tell you that you’re glowing,” he replied. He did because how could he not. She was glowing like that, not only for the way her body looked but also for the confidence she radiated. Luckily the pregnancy was going on with no complications and this time around she was surrounded by love and it reflected on her. “I always touch you, hug you, kiss you. How could I hate you ever but how could I do it now?”
“Then,” she sniffled, “then why don’t you want me?”
He hesitated, only now getting what she truly meant, “You… you want to have sex?”
“You don’t want me,” her voice broke.
“No, I — I find you hot, alright? Incredibly hot. But you are a pregnant woman, the mother of my kids, how is that not wrong?”
Scarlett scoffed, throwing her head back, not understanding why he was so taken aback by it, “How is that wrong?”
“The fact that if I’d look at you like you want me to look at you, I’d go crazy because your body like this drives me insane. Because if I let that part take over, I’d tell you that I’d never, ever, find you hotter than now. And that is surely wrong.”
“No, I like it. I want you to want me. I want you to be crazy for me. I need to know that my body going through these enormous changes it’s not a bad thing or a big deal,” she replied. “And I am incredibly horny, Jae. I need you. The hormones are driving me insane. You are driving me insane.”
“But… can we do this?”
“Yes, my pregnancy is not at risk. You can’t hurt her,” she reassured him, she would’ve never done anything that would’ve compromised the safety of the baby and herself.
“But are you sure? I don’t want to sound weird, I don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you,” Jaehyun checked in again, not because he didn’t want to, but because he wanted it too much and he needed to make sure she was into this just like him.
“If it will get uncomfortable, we’ll stop, but about the rest, I don’t care.”
After her words, he was on her in a moment, lips kissing her hard and hands cupping her face before he swiftly moved them to lift her nightgown over her shoulders, leaving her bare at his eyes and then gently laying her on the bed.
“Fuck,” he moaned as his eyes travelled on her naked body, her round boobs had grown in size, sitting prettily on her chest, swollen and tender. Her belly was now round, and quite big, not at the fullest but just enough to leave him in a haze at the amazing things she, and her body, were going through. “You’re so hot.”
“Want to see you, too,” she said, reaching out to get him out of his clothes. “You’re making me forget what your body looks like.” She was always naked at his eyes since he always offered to bathe her and help her get in her clothes, not that she couldn’t by herself, but the baby was big, bigger than Eunbi, and a little help didn’t hurt. And how could she say no to all the attention? But on the other hand, he never let her help.
“I’m not glowing like you, you’re not missing anything,” he said, swiftly getting rid of everything too and trying to stand on top of her but the tummy got in the way, making her laugh as he tried to find a way to kiss her.
“Maybe we can find another position?”
“I just wanted to kiss you,” he whined, “she’s not even here, and she’s already keeping me away from you.”
“Here,” she whispered, lifting her back up and kissing him. “I think it was my fault for arching my back, also.”
“I want to make you feel good,” he whispered, hand traveling down on her tummy, reaching her wet core and starting to move in circles.
“Ah,” she whimpered, letting her head fall behind and arching her back. “Shit,” she jolted, and he stopped.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, she moved, sorry, I wasn’t expecting it,” she chuckled.
“Do you think she feels something?” He asked as he picked up the movements again.
“I guess, probably she feels the – umm – the contractions of my body.”
“I can sto—”
“Don’t you dare,” she stopped him, pulling him closer to kiss him. “I need you, Jaehyun. Need you so much.”
And he didn’t let her repeat it twice, moving away from her to reach between her thighs and bury his face against her pussy.
“Yeah, just like that,” she moaned, trying to hold his hair but finding it difficult so Jaehyun moved his hand to intertwine it with hers.
“You’re so wet,” he noted before picking up a rhythm against her, tongue moving slowly on her clit and occasionally teasing her entrance. “Do you like this?”
“Yes. Please, more,” she mumbled, moving his hand on her belly when she felt the baby kick again. And Jaehyun caressed it gently while his other hand was busy making its way inside of her, middle finger prodding at her entrance, slowly pushing in, testing the waters before he started moving it faster.
And he probably should’ve found this weird, finger fucking her and eating her out while he could feel their child move inside of her, but it was oddly romantic – and hot – in his head. It was a level of intimacy that reached no other, nothing could come close to that. And she looked breathtaking like this. He couldn’t really see her since the bloated belly was dividing them from the position he was in, but he had her impressed by heart and knew every wrinkle on her face, the way her lips were twitching, and how her long lashes rested on her cheeks.
“I’m going to come,” she breathed out, holding his hand on her belly tighter, and bucking her hips for what she could. “It feels so good,” she cried out and, before he could do anything else, the orgasm broke out of her, stronger than ever before, it felt a little bit different, but it was good, so, so good.
“Fuck, you’re amazing,” he whispered, gently kissing her knee, and making his way up to her thigh and then her belly until his lips reached hers and started kissing her gently. “How do you want to do it?”
“I don’t know,” she whined, trying to kiss him again, just wanting to feel him, letting her hands wander on his body, and kiss him over and over again because between a thing and the other they could never really be intimate, and sure, she loved the other small intimate gestures but this was something that she loved just as much. It was more than falling asleep in each other’s arms, it was more than holding hands, it was more than doing a kind gesture to the other. This was getting deep into each other’s skin, merging together for a small bit of time and pretending that nothing outside of them existed.
“We can maybe try sideway,” he proposed through one of the thousand kisses, moaning when her hand reached his hard dick and started pumping, “it should be easy.”
But she shook her head, “Want to see you,” her voice was breathy, and she turned flat on the mattress again, bringing him with him.
“I’ll weigh on her,” he said, trying to don’t make their stomachs touch.
“You won’t crush her, you can always don’t lean on me,” she said. “I’m fine. We are fine. She’s having a party down there,” she joked, kissing his worries away again. And so he gave in, hands wrapping under her thighs to pull her closer to him before he started to brush the tip of his cock against her slit. “You will be the death of me,” he whispered in a haze, mesmerized by her beauty. Years had passed and she still had him hooked on her. She was always going to be the most beautiful being he had ever seen.
Scarlett smiled, reaching for his hand again and gasping when his cock stretched her full. It had been six months since something penetrated and she felt her breath get snatched away before she started laughing and made Jaehyun still.
“Are you okay?” He asked worriedly but without pulling out.
She nodded, covering her face with an arm as she tried to calm down, “I’m sorry, shit, sorry, sorry,” she mumbled. “I was just thinking how,” she stopped again, laughing, “if the stretch from you feels so much after all this time I’m worried about when I’ll have to push her out.”
Jaehyun giggled, rolling his eyes, “You have a talent for ruining hot moments.”
“I’m sorry,” she apologized again. “Can I be worried, though, since it’s my body doing all the work again?”
“Sure,” he said, smirking, “guess we’ll have to help your muscle to stretch out,” he joked, pulling out and slamming in again slowly.
“Mhh,” she hummed, eyelid fluttering close and then open again, “I love to exercise like this.”
And soon, they found a way to work it out, even with the bump ‘getting in the way’ and his fears of hurting her disappearing more and more until another thought sparked in his mind. Jaehyun couldn’t don’t pay attention to her boobs. How much fuller they had gotten again. How beautiful they were and how perky her nipples were. Was it so bad, so depraved, to want to taste her?
And Scarlett didn’t get it immediately, when she saw him furrow his brows and shake something out of his brain, trying to concentrate on his thrusts and squeezing her hand tighter. But she knew him, it was weird he didn’t ask her anything of that kind when she was breastfeeding Eunbi. She knew how much he loved her boobs and she knew how amazed he was by what they were doing right now.
So since he seemed so shy to ask, she moved their hands on one of them, making him snap up in surprise.
“Don’t want to hurt you,” he mumbled, trying to pull away, but she firmly held him in place.
“They’re so sore,” she cried. “Can you suck on them, please?”
Jaehyun’s eyes snapped open at the request, gulping hard as he tried to don’t look so excited but his body was betraying him, she could feel his cock throbbing inside of her, and she could see his eyes shine with lust.
“Are you – shit – are you sure this is not weird, I – fuck –,” he cried, really trying to fight it back.
She rolled her eyes, cupping his face to force him closer, “I said, help me out. You don’t want to leave your baby mama unsatisfied, right?” And he finally listened, nodding and then latching his lips around one of her sensitive nipples. Now, she never really thought about something like that but fuck if it was relieving, how painful they felt sometimes and how good she was feeling now with all the stimulation.
“Fuck, it tastes good,” he moaned against her skin, changing sides as he kept moving in and out of her at a steady pace. “Dripping when I don’t pay one attention?” He teased, looking with a smirk at the white liquid dripping down the nipple and running on her breast.
“They’re so hard,” she moaned, “don’t stop please. My boobs are so – fuck – full,” the words died in her mouth again when he started sucking again, and she could feel the orgasm approach once again. Head rolling back and lips parting open to let out low moans.
And Jaehyun started sucking and fucking harder, hearing those pretty little sounds, getting lost in pleasure too because it just felt so good and he felt like he was about to go crazy right there and then.
“Close,” she mumbled, spreading her legs wider, trying to buckle up and feel him even more.
“Going to come?” He asked, pulling away for a moment, looking for her hand again and intertwining it with his.
“Yes, fuck, it’s so, so good,” she cried, wanting to wrap her legs around him but not succeeding and Jaehyun got the message that she wanted to feel him closer, so he tried to lean in some more and keep one of her legs close with his free hand.
“Needy, you’re so – mmph – needy, fuck,” he teased, squeezing his eyes shut when her pussy clenched tighter around him. “Going to fill you up. Come around my cock, baby, make a – fuck – a mess,” he moaned, letting go of her nipple and kissing her, muffling the higher moans that were coming out of her mouth.
Scarlett threw her head back, nails digging into the skin of his back and in the palm of his hand as the second orgasm hit her harder than the first one and made her feel lightweight.
“Fuck, fuck,” he cursed, throwing his head back and hips stilling against her ass as they both came undone, high pitch moans rippling past their mouths. “Shit, I had missed you so much,” he said, shaking his head, leaving small kisses on her collarbones before pulling out slowly, and then laying down next to her, caressing her face.
“Need you,” she whispered, turning to the side.
“Again?” He asked, taken by surprise.
“Yes, please, one more. I don’t think we can do it again, I’ll only get bigger with time.”
“If that’s what you want, I’d never say no to you,” he said, sitting to get back in his old position but her hand on his chest keeping him still stopped him.
“Want to ride, want to feel you closer.”
“Ride me?” He asked. “Babe, I don’t think that’s –” She stopped him, kissing him and then climbing on his lap, starting to straddle him. “Fine,” he mumbled against the kiss, he loved when she was on top, and like this, with her beautiful round body and boobs, how could he say no, now?
“Good,” she smiled, hand reaching between their bodies to take his cock again and line it against her, slowly sinking on him, head lolling back as she enjoyed being full again. “You always fit so perfectly in me.”
He hummed lowly, letting his head fall back for a moment as he enjoyed the way she clenched around him before he straightened again. “You look like a Goddess,” he whispered, eyes adjusting at her frame in front of him, hands wrapping around her waist for what he could to help her move.
Scarlett smiled, leaning in to kiss him, giggling lightly when her bump crashed against him.
“Are you sure you’re comfortable?” He asked, he knew she loved riding him, it gave her more control and it was one of the most intimate positions but like this, it was surely more difficult.
“Yes, I love this,” she replied. “Do you like this? Do I feel good?”
“Yes, you always – shit – feel amazing, love,” he replied, his forehead resting against hers as he took the chance to delete the distance completely and kiss her again while his hands were all over her body, touching and squeezing, causing shivers to form on her skin.
Low hums of appreciation came out of her mouth, getting trapped against his, while her hands rested on his shoulder, trying to push her body up and down as best as she could and at the same time roll her hips for more friction. And surely it was harder, but damn if it felt so good.
“I love you so much,” he whispered, barely pulling back from her lips, his hand wrapping around her waist to help her movements. “Don’t ever – ah – don’t ever think that I don’t find you attractive – fuck,” he cursed, kissing her again, and again, squeezing her flesh harder. “Don’t ever think that you’re not the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” and he kissed her again, hips slamming hard up against her. “I’m madly in love with you. So fucking much it’s scary.”
Her heart flipped in her chest, while her hands crept in his hair and pushed him close again, needing to fill the silence with something bigger than words.
“I love you, and every – fuck – inch of you. Promise you will never,” he stopped, breath faltering as he could feel both of their orgasms approach, “Promise you will never doubt what bonds us.”
“Never,” she whispered, “I’ll never doubt us.”
And with that thought, their orgasms struck, releasing hard as they melted into each other’s arms.
When the holiday passed, Scarlett was on her 32nd week and it was by now just a matter of time before the birth. She felt like she was exploding, and she honestly was starting to fear how she was going to push the baby out. But overall, everything was going fine, just some usual back pain, more stretches on her body, and the usual repulsion for certain food.
“Do you think Eunbi will have jealous outbursts?” Scarlett asked. It was early in the afternoon, and they were in their chamber as Jaehyun helped her braid her hair. With the labor approach, she wanted to protect her hair and scalp, avoiding keeping them natural like it happened the first time. All the complications between and after, leading her to keep them in a terrible bun for days and fight with a dry scalp caused by all the sweating of the pushes. And now that her hair almost arrived at her waist, it was way too long for her to be dealing with it. So, box braids were the best options for her – with only thirteen sections so it would’ve taken too long, also considering that Jaehyun had little to no experience, and she had no strength to do them herself.
“I’m pretty sure she won’t,” he said, starting to work on the first section on her nape. “She looks more excited than us.”
Scarlett chuckled, relaxing back in the chair and caressing the belly, luckily the baby was sleeping and not kicking as always.
“Do you think we did a good thing sending her to public school?” She then asked, trying to don’t move her head up and let him finish the first braid. They had discussed it a lot. Her mother was pretty much against it, telling them how it was better to go for private education, but Scarlett didn’t want Eunbi to be lonely like her and grow up with no friends her age. Eunbi was way too outgoing and extroverted to be locked up in a fancy palace all her life and don’t discover the outside world. Also, they presented themselves as the ones that wanted to change things so they had to actually do it. Being a hypocrite was the last thing Scarlett wanted.
“You’re thinking about it now? It’s been months since she started school,” he said. “And this first week after the holiday went fine.”
“I was asking if she maybe told you something about it,” she explained, playing with her fingers. “Does she has friends? Don’t normal people hang out in their houses? Can they come here? Will they come here?”
Jaehyun furrowed, raising a brow. “Why do you stress over nothing?”
“But it is something,” she huffed. “We want her to be like the others but she’s not, she will never be. What if people will use her? Or what if… I don’t know, what if she won’t fit?”
“But she invited some friends over for her birthday party and they seemed nice.”
“She invited the whole class and only two showed up,” she pointed out, trying to push the tears back. Knowing that she couldn’t protect her tore her apart, and yes, it was life, but Eunbi was still so young and innocent to be hurt that bad.
“Did she tell you something?” Jaehyun asked this time, worried she knew something he didn’t, while he worked on closing the braid, no hair was added so he needed an elastic band and cursed under his breath because those damned things broke in his hands.
“She was very happy about the party, you know how she is, small things make her happy. But she did confess she was expecting more friends to show up.”
“Do you think the family didn’t let them or maybe they were just busy?”
“I have no idea. Taeyong drops her by and then takes care of her other lessons here, and he tells me that she talks about many kids, and not in a bad way, so I don’t get it…”
“The parents don’t know her,” he said, trying to come up with a reason why, “maybe they think she’s snotty?”
“But she’s not. How can your kid don’t tell you when they show you an invite? And is it possible that nobody was born in these months? She received no invitation.”
Jaehyun sighed. “Do you want to make her drop out and take private lessons?”
“I don’t… I don’t know,” she replied, feeling on the verge of tears. She hated her messed up hormones, and also being such a sentimental mother. Probably that was why her mother didn’t want to spend much time with her as a kid, the sadness you can feel for your kids is incomparable to anything. Not caring about them is so much easier.
“Why don’t we talk to her?” He proposed. Sure, they were the responsible ones, but often parents can get too invested emotionally and see problems where they aren’t, and Eunbi was mature enough to talk comfortably with them if something went wrong so that was a conversation they could have.
And right at that moment, they heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” Jaehyun said, stopping his fingers but keeping the strands of hair in hand, both of them turning toward the door.
“She doesn’t want to nap,” Taeyong said, leaning against the door with Eunbi’s hand in his. She was pouting and holding in her hand the blanket he had made for her when she was born, still her comfort possession.
“I’m a big girl, now. I’m four. Can you tell him, mom?”
Scarlett chuckled, “You know he just wants you to relax, didn’t you have gym today at kindergarten?”
“We had a dance class,” she lightened up. “Can I go to them? I already told you what we did. Dodo was looking for you.”
Taeyong chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Yes, I’ll let your recharge your parent’s love battery and go to Dodo.”
“Thank you,” Eunbi said, signaling him to kneel so she could kiss him on the cheek, “I love you when you don’t force me to sleep.”
“Thank you, Tae,” Scarlett waved at him. “Take the rest of the day off.”
“Yeah, the little princess already ordered that. She is my boss,” he winked before closing the door behind him, leaving the family alone.
“What are you doing?” Eunbi asked, reaching her parents, curiously looking at them. “What are those?” She asked, pointing at the small buns to keep her mother’s pre—parted hair in place.
“Daddy’s braiding my hair, so I’ll have less trouble when the baby will come,” she explained.
“I want them too,” she whined, running to the corner of the room to grab a chair and push it next to her mother’s seat in front of the vanity table. “Space, please.”
Jaehyun laughed. “Wait, let me help Mama stand up so we can pull her chair back.”
“Thank you,” she greeted when they moved back, and she could position her chair in front of her mother. “Can you do it to me?”
“Right now?” Scarlett asked, tilting her head, obtaining a nudge from Jaehyun that pushed her head back in place.
“Yes, please,” she pouted, undoing her ponytail, and shaking her head around to let her curls come down.
“Careful, you’ll hit your head,” Jaehyun warned, moving his fingers faster to finish the last braid on her nape so Scarlett could raise her face and do them on her too.
“I won’t part them like mine, we’ll do something easier,” Scarlett said, and Eunbi hummed, smiling happily. “Do you want beads on your ends?”
“Yes, can you put them on?”
“I don’t have the energy to crochet them, but we can use these pretty elastic bands,” she showed her the colourful beads, “do you like them?”
“I love them. Will you put them too?”
“Nope, they’re for you only,” she said before she signaled her to turn around and started prepping her hair.
“What happened today at school?” Jaehyun asked, hands still moving on Scarlett’s hair, gaze moving back and forth from the mirror to look at Eunbi’s and the strands in his hands to don’t mess it up.
“We danced all morning,” Eunbi replied cheerfully. “A dance teacher showed us the steps and we had to copy her,” she explained, moving her arms to imitate what she had done that morning, making Scarlett hiss a ‘stay still’ as she tried to part her hair the best she could but soon giving up making square parting and just trying her best to don’t make them look a mess. Instead, Scarlett lifted her gaze to Jaehyun, hinting at what they said before and Jaehyun nodded.
“Did you dance with your friends?” He asked, making eye contact with their daughter in the mirror.
And when Eunbi’s face dropped, they both stopped what they were doing. “Bibi? What happened?”
“I don’t think some of them likes me,” she confessed, fingers playing with a small mirror on the desk and avoiding her parents’ gaze on the big one in front of her. “Yongie says it’s nothing, that they simply knew each other before but…”
Scarlett wanted to say something, but Jaehyun shushed her, Eunbi wasn’t done yet, and he wanted to know what she felt before starting to conspire with their ideas.
“I think they don’t like me, they didn’t invite me to their party,” she said, still a small sad frown on her face, “but Fei invited me, Amelia and Ben, to her place. Can Ben come too?”
“She invited you?” Jaehyun asked, smiling at her, showing her that was a good thing. He always thought it was better to have a few real friends than a fake army of people that truly didn’t care for you, but sure, that mindset came with time and experience, for a little kid not being friendly with everybody was a big deal.
“Yeah, it’s not a party like mine, but she really likes me. She defends me from the other kids,” Eunbi said, smiling.
“Defend you? Do they tell you something?” Scarlett asked worriedly.
“They just ignore me. And if I try to play with them, they say it’s not my place.”
Scarlett sighed, looking up at Jaehyun, and then groaning in pain, making them worry. “Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, immediately leaning forward.
“I’m fine, she just kicked unexpectedly,” she said, but in reality, she had felt a cramp in her lower abdomen but they didn’t need to know. As much as she appreciated how much they took care of her, sometimes it was too much and just added more pressure and anxiety. Her body was probably just getting ready, or whatever. “Can we focus on her, instead? Why do they do it?”
“Because I’m different,” she said, so casually that their heart broke.
“You’re not different,” Jaehyun said.
“Yeah, I am. But I want them to be my friends, or at least to talk to me.”
“Maybe you should start taking private lessons here,” Scarlett proposed, making Jaehyun furrow.
“No, I won’t see my friends anymore,” Eunbi complained, turning around, making Scarlett huff when a strand of hair slipped out of her hold.
“But the others treat you badly.”
“They don’t talk to me a lot,” she said, turning back around. “But I have my friends, Fei and Amelia,” she explained. “And with Fei’s help, some other kids are getting close to me, mom. Feifei and Lia say it’s just about time, I’m a nice girl, they say there’s no way other kids can hate me,” she reassured her. Eunbi felt a bit disappointed every time she tried to start a conversation, show a drawing, or tell a story and they would push her away, but she also had two amazing friends, and they were enough to make her enjoy her stay at the kindergarten. She also really liked her teachers. Sure, they weren’t Taeyong or Maria, her favourite maid, or her uncles and aunt, but they were nice and taught her many things. And she truly liked to learn.
And Jaehyun caressed Scarlett’s shoulder to tell her to relax.
“And as Yongie said not everybody can like us, so it’s fine. If they’ll want to play with me, I’ll be there. If they don’t want to, I’ll have my other real friends by my side.”
Scarlett let out a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you’re much more mature than me right now,” she said, caressing her puffy cheek. “Mama’s just paranoid, I have to take care of you getting big and her, and I wish the world will never hurt you. I guessed public school was the best option for you and your curious mind, I grew up all alone here and I couldn’t do that to you and I’m sorry people see you differently but –”
“Shh, mom, I know,” she stopped her, smiling tenderly, “I’m your little bird, remember?”
“Yes, you are, but what does it mean, now?”
“Little birds learn to fly, one day. And I’m flying sooo high,” she giggled, imitating wings with her arms. “I’m not hurt, I was just sad because the others changed partners like… wait… five times,” she explained, counting on her fingers, “but I only did it three times because some didn’t want to dance with me,” she reassured her, “but like uncle Tae said, it was their loss for not dancing with a princess.”
Scarlett smiled fondly at her and breathed deeply. That was growth. That was all part of growing up. And if she didn’t hurt herself in the outer world, she was still going to get wounded in those walls, so at least, giving her the freedom she needed was the best thing they could do.
“And Yong’s right,” Jaehyun said. “Wait until they see us dance at our next ball how envious they’ll be,” he joked, making her laugh.
“You are my favourite person to dance with,��� she said in a hush, pretending to be confessing a secret with a hand covering her face.
“You are my favourite too.”
“Hey! What about me?” Scarlett whined with a fake pout on her face.
“Oh, no, she heard us,” Jaehyun joked, and Eunbi threw her head back, hitting the pump by mistake.
“Sorry, Mommy!” She apologized immediately, turning around, once again making a halfway done braid fly out of her mother’s hand.
“Don’t be,” she reassured, “but please, stay still and look in front of you, I’ll be done soon.” Soon maybe was too optimistic but she was fast with her fingers and the parting was wide so maybe in fifteen minutes they were done, it was only five short braids in the end.
“She’s so big. Why is her house so big?” Eunbi asked, fighting the urge to lean back into her mom. She loved feeling the curve of the belly and how soft and yet hard it was. And she also found it funny when she heard the baby kick and move. Once she even saw her small feet peek against the skin.
They both laughed at her wording but then Jaehyun answered, “because she needs to be strong when she comes out, so she needs much space to grow.”
Eunbi’s mouth widened in shock. “She won’t be taller than me, right?”
“No, she won’t,” Scarlett reassured her. “Why are you so afraid of that?”
“Because I want to be tall as Johnny Oppa,” she said, pouting.
“Tall as Johnny? Don’t you think that’s a little bit too much?” Jaehyun asked, chuckling.
“No, he can see so much more than me from there.”
“Why not as tall as me?” He pretended to be offended.
“He’s taller,” she laughed, sticking her tongue out.
The hours passed while she told them more about some things they’ve done at school during the week, how excited she was for the end of the year to come so she could bring all the drawings home, and that the teacher told them they’ll have a show so they needed to prepare a choreography. They also talked about Fei’s invitation, Eunbi told them her mom wanted them to stay over even at dinner. And then they discussed the baby names but without coming up with anything, too unsure about picking another name that started with the letter ‘E’ or going for something completely different.
“I love them, love them, love them,” Eunbi kept chanting, swinging her braids, running around the room since her mom was done with her before Jaehyun was done with her. She was so excited to show them to everybody that she even offered to run downstairs to the cooks and grab some fruit and water for her mother.
“Bibi,” her mom called, “she’s moving, come feel her,” she said, waiting for Jaehyun to finish the last braid, pointing at her tummy.
Eunbi giggled, hand flat against her stomach. “She’s dancing just like me,” she exclaimed. “We can have a party once she’s out.”
“I think that might need some time, but yes,” Jaehyun replied, lips curled in a soft smile as he looked at her happy face.
“Once she’s out,” Scarlett told her, “we will have the biggest and best ball of our life.”
When it was time to go to bed Eunbi fell asleep easily, since kindergarten started again, she was more tired and didn’t find the strength to pull up a fight and complain about her bedtime, and also the life there wasn’t so new and exciting as it used to be. It had been more than eight months since they’d been there now, and Eunbi had gotten used to everything. Her new room, her new toys, her new clothes, her maids and everybody who worked there.
So, they had decided to take some time for themselves before going to bed, too.
“Are you crying?” Jaehyun asked when he was done boiling the water for the tea, they had decided to go for a hot drink before going to bed and, when he turned around, he saw Scarlett looking like a mess. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” she said, “I’m fine… physically. They are happy tears, I guess.”
Jaehyun sighed, he hated being so terrified of everything, but he couldn’t get when she was hurt or it was just the emotional aspect of the pregnancy. “For?”
“She’s such a big girl, have you heard her today? I was there, panicking, being a crazy mother and she had the maturity to see the situation so… so clearly. And I feel like a terrible mother for so many reasons, I wanted to take her out of there while she wants to go, and at the same time I… I don’t know, I feel like everything I do is wrong. And yes, she’s getting bigger, but I’m terrified for when we’ll also have this one, what if I can’t give her love? Not so much at least.”
“Hey,” Jaehyun called, “come here, let’s sit and talk.”
And she did, dragging her heavy body on the small table of the kitchen, the one that was used mostly just to place stuff and only workers used to eat. “If she was able to analyse that situation like this, it’s because we taught her that. Remember how we always tried to don’t react before her to let her deal with her emotions without our lens? That’s why she can see things so clearly, we were the ones teaching her to accept feelings and deal with them this way.”
Scarlett hummed, reaching for his hand to hold it.
“How much we encouraged her into anything she liked. Do you know how confident it made her? Her confidence doesn’t shake when somebody attacks her on something she knows she’s good at. And sure, you’re right, the world it’s cruel and it has all the time to break her apart, but she’s off to a pretty strong start, don’t you think so? And no matter how hard we try, we’ll never be perfect parents. You told me that, remember? The only thing we can do is love her and teach her what we think it’s right, but we will make mistakes and that’s fine as long as we’ll accept to grow and learn too.”
Scarlett sniffled, lowering her head, hearing his words, and agreeing even, but not really in the mood to let them affect her.
“And Scar,” he said, caressing her cheek to lift her head up, “you risked your life for her, you walked miles to keep her safe, you would’ve died to protect her, how can you don’t love her? How can she don’t feel your love? She loves you deeply, she sees you so high, you have no idea about how many times she runs to me and tells me you’re the prettiest lady in the whole world and how lucky we are to have you. You don’t know how many times she tells me that she wants to be like you when she grows up. She’s so proud of you for taking care of your Queendom while you’re being the house of her little sister,” he said, a hint of joke on the last phrase, making Scarlett chuckle too. “She has no idea what this truly means but she cares for you so much.”
“I’m just a little afraid,” she confessed. She had never told him because it felt so dumb, and incoherent and she couldn’t truly put a name to what she was feeling. “I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I… I want her deeply but at the same time I… I feel like I…” the words died in her mouth, feeling too guilty to let them out.
“You feel like you don’t,” Jaehyun finished for her, and she nodded before breaking down in a loud cry. “No, baby, come here,” he opened his arms and pulled her in. “Sit sideways so you can fit.”
“How are you not mad at me?” She asked, surprised he was lulling her and caressing her back instead of screaming at her for thinking such things about their child.
“How can I be mad at you? It’s depression, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” she cried out. She had heard something about that but always avoided the topic, thinking she had no reason to don’t want the baby, especially now. But apparently, antepartum depression hits like a wave at any time and any person, no matter how deeply wanted the kid was. “But I hate this, because I swear I love her but, ugh,” she groaned, sniffling, “I’m so scared this time and I don’t – I don’t understand why since I have you here and I’m so full of love but I look at myself in the mirror some times and I wish it wasn’t there and then I feel even more guilty and I panic so much when she doesn’t move because I’m afraid my thoughts hurt her and I don’t want to lose her.”
Jaehyun couldn’t get it. He could never get what was going on in her body and brain and how all those changes affected her. She had confessed she felt more afraid because the baby was bigger, but he was sure that wasn’t the reason for all of these. But he wasn’t even a doctor, so all his ‘maybes’ weren’t going to lead anywhere.
“I don’t know why it’s happening, I wish I could tell you but I’m not a doctor,” he said, caressing her back in circles. “I guess you lost a little bit of control over your thoughts, you are stressed, overly stressed. And I can help you only a little if you don’t decide to give up a little bit of control. You are not alone, I will never leave your side. If we raised a kid in those conditions we were in four years ago, what makes you think we’ll do wrong now?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t think that until two weeks ago, I guess. I was doing fine, I felt so good with myself and then… it all fell apart.” Probably it was the weight of all the responsibilities she had. When she had Eunbi she was a simple tailor and her boss was one of her dearest friends, but now she was a Queen and she didn’t want to dip out of her duties just like her father did. But it was the second, she should’ve been more prepared, right? And yet, she felt like she was starting from zero. And then all those thoughts she didn’t even feel like she was thinking were piling up on each other and they were making her go crazy.
“Then why don’t we do a thing, we go talk to the doctor and see what’s wrong, I’m sure they can help,” he said. “And in the meanwhile, you know what we can do?” She shook her head. “Start to love ourselves again.”
“You want to fuck?” She asked, stunned.
“No, baby,” he said, shaking his head. “But I want you to remind yourself that you are an amazing woman before being an amazing mother, wife, and queen.”
“You say it just because…”
“I say it because it’s true,” Jaehyun stopped her, leaving a peck on her lips, caressing her wet cheek. “But I’ll take it that tonight’s like this, your brain’s not in the mood to listen.”
“Are you mad at me?” She asked with a small pout on her lips.
“No, I’d never be mad at you. This is not your fault, it’s something that can happen during pregnancy and it’s something we will solve together. I can’t take your pain and make it mine, but I can walk by your side, and I’ll always will.”
“And what do I do when those thoughts get too much?”
“You come to me and I’ll shower you with praise.”
“Can you do it now, I think I need it.”
And Jaehyun did that, trying to distract her with all the amazing things they managed to do during those past years, trying to remind her how strong she was alone and how strong they were together. He tried to make her think about all the beautiful adventures the future held for them, how they could’ve kept it easy even if they were in this new big experience now and how she didn’t have to stress herself over the smallest things.
And it worked, just for that night, listening to him talk always put her in a good mood, and it seemed that baby loved to hear her father talk just as much. And with his hand on her belly, the big bump and the way she was moving didn’t terrify her that much anymore. And sleeping in his arms, dozing off as he whispered gentle words and praises in her ear, made her feel a little bit better.
When they talked to the doctor, and with Kun, since Scarlett wanted him to be there and wanted his advice too, they came up that taking antidepressants at this point was more dangerous than useful and to try other methods since the case didn’t seem severe. And digging a bit further, it had come out that her thoughts were mostly related to her father and the anxiety of not being enough for him.
So she was trying to change her point of view for real and see her life through the lens of what she loved and loved her. And it was working, slowly, with some falls and fears, but it was getting better. At least she didn’t hate her body anymore with Jaehyun that kept repeating even more how much she was glowing and how beautiful she was even if for her she looked like a big balloon floating around. And Eunbi’s extreme excitement for the new soon-to-be arrived made her have fewer fears about them and the love they had to share. She had also decided to stop dealing with affairs regarding the country and leaving things into Jaehyun and Donghyuck’s hands – not without the fear of them jumping to each other’s throat but for now, it was going quite well, much to her surprise.
So walking around the garden enjoying the few warmer hours during the day helped her free her mind and come in contact with nature, discovering a new peace of mind. Playing the piano while her maids sang with her brought her back to times she had missed. And reading books to Eunbi helped her escape with her imagination.
It was going back on track, little by little, the finish line didn’t seem so far and not even so scary.
And once again the finish line came a little bit unexpectedly.
They were all enjoying the first warm sun rays of March out in their garden when Scarlett felt a weird cramp on her lower abdomen.
“Are you fine?” Jaehyun asked her, turning his head slightly around to look at her better, a hand under her belly, frowned expression and the other hand leaning against the closest white table that was set in the little covered area from where they were watching Eunbi, Johnny, Yuta and Mark play soccer.
“Uhm, uhm,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut and starting to breathe normally again. “I’m fine. You know, just her usual jokes,” she chuckled before letting out another moan. She was feeling these irregular contractions, but they have been happening more frequently in the past few days, so she wasn’t paying much attention. “Uh, uh, baby’s happy today.”
At that, three heads were turned to her, Jaehyun’s, Taeyong’s and Doyoung’s.
“Babe, not to get in between this again but you do not bend in two when she kicks,” Taeyong commented, staring at her with a furrow on his face.
“It’s just my body playing games with m – ah,” she screamed. “Oh, shit,” she cursed, pursing her lips together, “I should know what’s going on, but I don’t really know. I do, shit, think that, haha,” she panicked, looking around, “probably my body is very much not playing games to me, fuck,” she mumbled, throwing her head back when she felt a stronger contraction.
“Are you giving birth right here?” Jaehyun asked, panicking, not knowing what to do, looking back at the others that weren’t even paying attention.
“Not here,” she screamed, “not in a freaking garden. This time I’m lying on a bed at least. Where’s Kun? I’m not pushing her out if I don’t have him here.”
“Did your water break?” Taeyong asked.
“No, but, fuck, why does it hurt so much?” She asked, lifting her gaze, feeling tears stream down her face. “Am I losing her?”
“No, God, no,” Jaehyun said, kneeling next to her, and caressing her hand. “Fine, we are walking inside until you can, alright?” She nodded, biting her lips. “And you will call Kun, ‘right?”
“Yes,” Taeyong answered. “It will be fine,” he said, smiling at Scarlett.
“No, actually I might need you here with us,” Jaehyun said.
“Why would you bring me with you?”
“You were there the first time, come on,” he whined, helping her stand up from the chair.
“But you are here now.”
“I need you, too. C an you please, come?” Scarlett pleaded, now breathing better again, the contraction coming to a stop. “Please, you were really nerve soothing the first time, please.”
“Fine. I don’t know if I’ll be there for the next one, though.”
“No next one, not for – fuck – fuck, Jae, it hurts.”
“Where is Mama going?” Scarlett stopped when she heard Eunbi’s voice and saw her ran toward her.
“Hi, love, Mama’s in a little bit of, uhmm,” she pressed her lips together to don’t curse in front of her.
“Mama’s in pain,” Taeyong replied. “The baby’s coming and it’s a difficult thing to go through.”
“I want to help.”
“You can’t help her,” he replied, signaling Jaehyun to carry her inside. “I’ll deal with her, go.”
“I love you,” Scarlett screamed to Eunbi before she tried to walk inside again. “I don’t want to go up the stairs,” she cried.
“You can do it,” Jaehyun encouraged.
“No, I cannot,” she cried, clenching around him. “I want Taeyong.”
“Worry about the stairs first. I’m sure Tae will come to be by your side.”
“It’s not like I don’t, I don’t want you – shit – my water – fuck,” she whined. “I’ll give birth here.”
“On the stairs?” He exclaimed. “Babe, come on, let me carry you.”
“You can’t, the belly’s too big,” she stopped, gasping when a contraction hit.
“Oh, shit, they’re starting for real, aren’t they?” He asked, worried and she could only nod. “I’m carrying you upstairs, let’s go.”
The walk to the setup room felt like a lucid dream but in pretty decent time she was laying on the bed with Jaehyun and Taeyong by her sides.
“I’m scared,” she said. “I’m so terrified.”
“It will go well. You did so well the first time,” Jaehyun said, trying to calm her down.
“No, I, can you breathe with me? I can’t keep the tempo. I, I can’t do this, I’ll fail, they’ll have to cut me, I’ll—”
“Alright, now, will you stop being so negative?” Taeyong snapped. “You know what you too need? A little time alone.”
“No, don’t leave,” but it was already too late because he was already out of the door.
“I love that I have you – have you here,” she said, breathing hard as she tried to fight nausea, smashing her face against his broad chest, “but he’s more like a – fuck – superstitious thing. I… I’m afraid because this isn’t home, and this isn’t, this is different and I hate changes and I felt like I was more prepared the first time and I’m sorry because I love you, you do know right, I love you and I fucking hate those – shit – those, ugh, contractions,” she screamed the last words when she felt they were getting more intense and more frequent.
Jaehyun smiled, caressing her back, and pushing her closer, “I know, you don’t need to explain, babe. We’ll make Taeyong come back in a second, but listen to me,” he said, waiting for her to raise her head, “you’ve got this. This is home, even if it’s bigger, this is our place. This is different because it’s better, you have me, and all your friends, and your daughter, and your mother. Isn’t it great?”
“Uhm,” she hummed. “It’s great, it’s, fuck,” she cursed, “but it’s not enough, it’s, I can feel her, I need to push.”
“Kun’s not here yet,” Jaehyun said panicking. “Isn’t it too soon?”
“It doesn’t have to be an even more excruciating pain, you know, love?”
“I don’t know how it works, I wasn’t there,” he defended, hoping that somebody else was going to come into the room and take the matter in their hands because he hated seeing her like this, hearing her cry and scream, breathing hard, skin pearled in sweat.
“Okay, I’ll breathe. In and out. And give me your hand. Your hand and call Kun, call somebody, call my mom, she knows. No, I should know, I did it a few years ago, she did it ages ago.”
“I’ll go see where —”
“Don’t you fucking dare leave me alone,” she warned, scarily threatening.
“He should be here any moment,” Taeyong explained, entering the room before Jaehyun could answer her. “How are you?”
She glared at him, letting out another loud scream as she felt everything happen ten times faster than Eunbi, and if it was supposed to be a relieving thing, at that moment, it only looked scarier to her.
“Aaalright, wrong phrasing but like how do you feel? Is any of you keeping track of the contractions?”
“No, I, uhm, we’re not unless she is.”
“I’m not, I want to push her out. Out.”
Jaehyun and Taeyong looked at each other, “Wear the gloves just in case,” Jaehyun said before they moved to the end of the bed.
“Remember the last time?” Taeyong asked, opening her legs again. “Do the same.”
“Are you two going to do that?” She asked, head snapping up, chin moving away from against her chest.
“Well, it’s not like Kun did something, you did all the job yourself,” Jaehyun explained. “We’ll just catch the baby.”
“Fine, I’ll try, I’ll, ugh,” she cried, sinking her nails in the sheets under her. “I need Johnny.”
“You don’t need a crowd every time you give birth, honey. You can do it,” Jaehyun said, trying to talk some sense into her.
“He only brought sheets to clean the mess, you don’t need him,” Taeyong assured her. “And now push.”
“Push,” she whispered, chest heaving and cheeks wet, as if she wasn't already doing it. “It’s not coming out,” she cried when she kept pushing for what felt like ten minutes to her but, it had only passed three. “I’ll die this time. You’ll dig a hole for me and the baby and I will…”
“You will stop with these words,” Kun said, barging into the room. “Oh, great, a crowd once again.”
“It’s just us, we wanted to help,” Jaehyun explained.
“Fine, help by holding her hand and giving her comfort, I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Can you drag it out of me?”
“You just have to relax and push.”
“It’s so easy for you,” she yelled. “Need you,” she said, looking for Jaehyun’s hand. “Push with me, please?”
“Yes, I’ll push with you,” he replied, not even getting what she meant with that but glad he could help, at least in her mind.
And after that, everything went blank, she couldn’t really pinpoint what was going on around her, the only thing she could remember being Jaehyun’s hand holding hers, faint chants of Kun’s and Taeyong’s voices, her unbearable pushes, and then finally a loud scream followed by cries.
Their second baby was there.
And when Kun gently placed the baby in her arms, and she immediately reached for her, she once again felt like everything was worth it.
“She’s beautiful,” Jaehyun whispered, resting his head against Scarlett’s caressing her gently.
“And we gave birth to another baby,” Taeyong exclaimed, interrupting their sweet moment. “Welcome to the world…” he stopped, realizing he didn’t know the name.
Making them realize they didn’t pick one.
“Not again,” Jaehyun huffed, rolling his eyes.
She chuckled, immediately regretting it when she started feeling the contractions to push out the placenta, but it didn’t really matter, that was just a painless plus. So, she looked up at Jaehyun and then back at the baby in her arms, a smile curling her lips, “I have one, actually.”
After a few hours passed and both of them were clean and moved to another room, the others finally got to see them.
Eunbi was the first one to enter the room, her hand wrapped tightly around Johnny’s fingers as she took small, intimidated, and yet excited, steps toward the bed. She was dying to meet her little sister, but she was also afraid of doing something wrong. Everybody kept reminding her how delicate she was.
“Hi, little bird,” hearing her mother’s voice made her heart calm down a little and seeing that she seemed fine, made her finally let go of the breath that she was holding. She was too young to understand what was going on, but she still sensed everybody’s tension.
“Hi, Mama,” she whispered, waving her hand, letting go of Johnny’s, turning around one last time to smile at him, and then walking to the bed alone.
“Why are you so calm?” Scarlett asked curiously, not used to seeing her move around so calmy.
“Baby. They say she’s delicate,” she replied, playing with her fingers, “But… can I see her, mom? I’ll be good, I promise.”
Scarlett smiled, feeling on the point of crying again for how considerate she was being. “Sure, you can, come here. Ask Papa to place you next to me.”
When Jaehyun lifted her and sat her next to her mom, she gasped. The baby was sleeping in her arms, folded in a white blanket and with a small hat on her head.
“She’s…” she paused, sitting on her knees to see her better, “she’s small,” she whispered, furrowing, causing everybody in the room to laugh under their breaths to don’t wake her up. “She was in your tummy?”
Scarlett giggled, wrapping the arm that wasn’t holding the new-born up around her eldest daughter. “She very much was in me.”
“Dad, see! You were right, she’s not taller than me.”
Jaehyun chuckled, sitting next to her, wrapping an arm around her too. “You always have to trust me.”
“Can I touch her?” She asked, shily lifting her hand up.
“Sure,” Jaehyun said, “just be gentle.”
And the way Eunbi’s hand placed so gently on her little cheek made everyone in the room skip a beat. The baby’s eyes opened, but no cries rolled out of her lips, she simply stared up at her big sister and moved her hand around, placing hers on top of Eunbi’s. And it surely was an involuntary muscle movement, but that didn’t stop Eunbi’s heart – and everybody else’s – from beating faster at the cute gesture.
Eunbi’s lips parted and she looked up at her mom and dad with almost teary eyes. “She loves me! She touched me.”
“It’s obvious she does,” Scarlett said, “who was the one singing all those songs and reading all those stories?”
“She remembers? She remembers me!” She exclaimed, voice rising up just a little, but not too much to scare her little sister. “I love you so much,” she said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “And you’re the prettiest sister I could ever ask for.”
Scarlett looked at Jaehyun, smiling tenderly, their hands brushing against each other on Eunbi’s back.
“Wait, if I am Eunbi, who is she?”
They giggled, and then Scarlett replied, “So, we were thinking of calling her Aisha. How does that sound?”
“I love it! It’s so pretty, just like her,” she exclaimed before looking at her sister again. “Aisha,” she repeated. “It suits her.”
“Glad you love it,” Scarlett said. “We also think it suits her very much.”
She smiled, nodding happily and then fell back, squeezing into her parents’ hold. “Eunbi and Aisha. I think we sound great together.”
“You do,” Jaehyun agreed, caressing her cheek. “I’m sure she’ll think that too.”
“Now that I have a sister can I have a brother?” She asked so nonchalantly that everybody in the room froze for a moment.
“Oh, hell no, baby. Not now that I just finished pushing her out,” Scarlett replied in utter shock.
“But don’t you think a baby boy it’s the only thing missing?” She asked, turning around and batting her eyes.
“When does this suddenly come from?” She asked, confused, considering she had been begging for a sister for months until her eyes moved to Jaehyun that was visibly holding back a laugh. “It was you!”
“No,” he stated, lifting his hands in defence. “It comes from her but, who am I to say no?”
“Not now,” Eunbi said, reassuring her mom, caressing her face.
“Oh, great, thanks for the pass, honey,” she joked, shaking her head.
“We need to take care of you and Aisha first, and Mama needs time to recover,” Jaehyun explained, turning serious again.
“I know,” Eunbi smiled, turning back around, placing a hand on the baby. “I need Johnny to give me a cousin first.”
Everybody laughed again, well, except for Johnny and Juliet that went pale and stared at her in disbelief.
“Yeah, sorry to disappoint but for now the only thing we can give to you it’s your shaking horse turned into a unicorn,” Johnny said, pulling his girlfriend close to him.
Eunbi smiled, “That’s fine, I love that too. I think I want to keep as the cool uncle and aunt for a little more.”
The first three months after pregnancy flew by. Having a small kid wasn’t easy, but Aisha was overall pretty good, just like her sister. She slept at night, didn’t have problems eating, and no health problems happened.
And now that it was late June and Eunbi just finished going to kindergarten, they spent their days at their place in the countryside, enjoying the quiet of nature. Jaehyun was mostly taking over their duties since Scarlett was focusing on the kids and herself, but he still did his best to spend time with the family, especially during weekends.
“You know,” Scarlett said, fixing the white hat on Aisha’s head while she was jiggling a toy in her hand, “my family never used this house,” she confessed, smiling bitterly. She fixed the white dress around her legs and looked up at Jaehyun that was keeping an eye on Eunbi that was playing in the small circular pool in front of them.
“If I say I’m not surprised, do you get offended?” He replied, chuckling, turning around to smile at her.
She shook her head, moving a little to let the baby sit better against her. Being almost four months old she managed to keep her head up, but still needed support to sit completely. “I know, but I was just thinking about all the things I missed.”
“Your father surely wasn’t great at managing a kingdom and a family,” he replied, passing the small toy to Aisha again after she dropped it too far from her while shaking it. “But look at us, we’re doing a great job.”
“We are. Are we superheroes or was he just so damn selfish?” She asked. “It’s not even about this place, but… all those small moments, you know. How can we find time to stay with them, play with them or read something, but he could never do it with me? I was just one.”
“Because we care,” Jaehyun replied, caressing her hand with his thumb. “And are you finally over the idea of not being able to love them enough?”
“I am,” she reassured him. “It was just a stupid fear. It could’ve been too much to take.”
“But it’s not. There are two of us. And as heavy as ruling a reign is, we are doing it well. We have Donghyuck’s help, your mother’s too. And we are taking time with them, everything’s going well.”
“Yeah, I think I need to stop trying to find answers to justify him, he simply was evil and full of himself.”
“I’m not one to judge usually but, I agree. Put him in the past, you have good things now. The memories you didn’t create with your past family, you will create them with us.”
She smiled, snuggling closer to him and wrapping a hand around Aisha to pull her close to her, “Yeah, I love this.”
“Mama! Dada!” Eunbi screamed, a towel badly wrapped around her body as she ran toward them to sit on the blanket on the grass, under the shadow of the tree. “Got baby a pretty flower!”
“Oh, be careful she won’t eat it,” Jaehyun said, smiling while Eunbi leaned closer to her sister to hand her the big daisy she had found. Her small hands dropped the toy and grabbed the stem, making her giggle at the contact with the surface.
“She likes it,” Eunbi clapped, sitting better in front of her, discharging the towel to the side carelessly.
“Achoo!” Aisha sneezed when she brought the flower close to her nose and then stared at it with a confused expression but instead of crying, she started chuckling, making everybody laugh too.
“She’s so weird,” Eunbi said through laughs. “Was I like this too?”
“Yeah, you used to laugh at the word cheese,” Jaehyun told her, causing her to start laughing again.
“Oh, and you didn’t stop,” Scarlett joked.
“No, but it’s funny, why?”
Her dad shrugged, “just weird things little kids do, right?”
“She wants to play,” she said when the baby started doing grabby hands to the toy that fell close to her. “Here, little one,” she cooed, passing her the toy into the hand that wasn’t holding the flower, smiling back at her when she smiled and babbled something.
“You two have nice conversations,” Jaehyun joked, grabbing the towel and drying Eunbi’s hair more, making her huff and squirm.
“Can she bath with me?” She asked, pouting.
“Yeah, but let’s see if she wants to,” Scarlett replied, “and be careful to don’t splash her, she might get scared.”
“Yeah,” she exclaimed, getting up and rushing to the pool. “I’ll wait for you.”
“We should get a bigger one and enjoy a bath, too,” Jaehyun proposed, helping Scarlett remove the leotard from the baby’s body and passing her the sunscreen cream.
“We totally should,” she agreed. Luckily the day wasn’t extremely hot, but a fresh bath was always a good idea. “For now, we’ll get our hands wet and this will do,” she chuckled, getting up, carrying the baby and then they started walking toward Eunbi that was already waiting inside the water.
The first meeting with water that didn’t imply getting cleaned was very nice, but the thing that interested Aisha the most were all the colourful toys and especially the way Eunbi’s orange duck splashed out water from her mouth.
The afternoon passed pretty much the same until they got back inside to clean up and get ready for dinner, deciding to eat outside under the porch.
“I’m so happy that we can be all together like we used to do,” Eunbi confessed mid—dinner, reaching out her hand to grab her sister’s hand that was laying in the stroller seat next to her.
“Were you scared when we moved?” Scarlett asked, tilting her head to the side.
Eunbi pressed her lips together, the same expression of Jaehyun’s face on hers. “I little bit,” she admitted. “I didn’t really understand what was going on. It was nice, new, but scary.”
Her parents smiled, grabbing her free hand, and caressing it.
“Whatever happens,” Jaehyun started saying, “just know that we will never leave your and your sister’s side.”
“We are not going anywhere, little bird,” Scarlett reassured. “No matter how hard life will get, and how many things may change, we will always be able to count on each other.”
Eunbi smiled widely at her parents’ words. She knew that. She had seen proofs of their love for each other, for her and her sister every single day of her life. She never doubted that what held them all together was stronger than anything.
And as her little hand squeezed tighter around their hands and Aisha’s one, she felt like she never wanted to be anywhere else in the world.
And even if she didn’t say it out loud, both Scarlett and Jaehyun, knew what she was thinking. They knew that after all the hardship, and the pain, and the fear, they managed to build up their own castle, with their own King and Queen and Princesses, that went beyond the fact they went back to where their story started.
They succeeded in writing their own story. Their cursed fairy tale wasn’t written on a scarlet letter anymore, but the ink of what bonded them together was marked in the pages of a beautifully hardbound book. And their story, magical, beautiful, and tragic but with a happy ending, was going to be passed down forever.
In the end, committing their gentle sin was worth it all.
If you arrived here, thank you! ❤️ I hope you enjoyed it. Consider supporting me with comments, reblogs, asks and if you want, you can also donate here!
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What led you to taking the family from New Orleans to New Mexico?
Thanks for the question, my dear! It honestly hurt my heart to do so, since my own love and attachment to New Orleans is woven so strongly through the 1920s. But I knew from the get-go we’d be leaving the city for a couple reasons….
One, I simply can’t stay in the same sims world for too long. I’m like this in gameplay, but I learned in the 1900s-1910s that that instinct is even stronger in storytelling. Being able to find new angles, builds, lots, lighting, etc. is part of the fun and really makes me look forward to moving the story forward. Likewise, I really like the clear visual distinction of a new world every decade or so (because it won’t always be exactly every ten years), as it creates visual chapters and keeps things feeling fresh for me and I hope, y’all too!
But more specifically, I always knew that many of the end goals of the 1920s would require leaving New Orleans. One was Antoine’s toxic attachment to his past, and his need to let go of that in order to move forward. The other one, and arguably the biggest, was to end the decade with Antoine proposing to Zelda. As I discussed in detail here, this was not possible in New Orleans. Likewise, I did not want Violette’s formative years to be marked by legally mandated segregation (especially in school), so that she could have more freedom in her story and identity.
Now if you look at the map in the post linked above, you’ll see that the choices of where to move them is not exactly plentiful. The easiest choice would have been the Northeast, but I knew pretty early on that I wanted to have a desert backdrop for the 1930s. Thematically, I think it harkens to the images that we associate with this decade and also the concept of the American West, which by the 1930s is beginning to be exposed as a myth (this is a theme I find fascinating and y’all will see as the years go by). Its also meant to provide a heavy contrast to the warm, tropical air of New Orleans, and how that climate kind of intersects with the idea of decadence in the 1920s.
As far as sim-specifics, I try and look at all the worlds and see what can realistically be used for what decade and geographic location. From the get-go I was intrigued by Strangerville, since it’s a world I never really play in and the military base has some good story potential (oh? Is that a spoiler you say? 👀). I also don’t see it used that often, and I especially think the downtown is so cinematic. This really fell in line with the ideas I already had about leaving New Orleans and the themes of the West, so I referenced the map in the linked post, and ultimately decided on New Mexico. Then with subsequent research and studying Strangerville’s landscape (namely the rocks and the road and how I could incorporate that into the story), I finally placed the town in the Northwestern corner of the state, with easy road access both North and West for wherever the next decade takes us 😉
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A Lion in the Garden -Tywin Lannister x Reader- (Part 27)
WARNINGS: Use of Moon Tea (aka abortion/pregnancy prevention)
A/N: I’m really sorry to everyone who picked yes in the poll, because I know it’s annoying of me to even ask for opinions if I’m not going to listen, but I felt that children weren’t right for Lady Tyrell and Tywin.
This is mostly because I didn’t want to feel like I was betraying my characters, and yes I know it’s not real, but to make Lady Tyrell become a mother when she’s been so adamantly against it for so long would’ve felt wrong to me. She’s always been afraid of being cast aside either for marriage or for having children, and while her marriage thankfully did not do that, realistically being a mother requires a great deal of your time and effort. Being a parent usually comes before all else, especially for women in Westeros, and I don’t want to take that freedom from her.
There is also Tywin, who in many fics I read is more than happy to have children with the reader. And while this isn’t a false interpretation—he certainly wants to continue his legacy and having more children would improve that—it’s also an interpretation that usually comes with arranged marriage fics. Now, like I said, I don’t mind that and it makes perfect sense to me, but given that Tywin has repeatedly shown great deals of emotion whenever Lady Tyrell puts herself in danger suggests to me that he wouldn’t be entirely excited about her having his children. Not because he doesn’t want them, but because he’s afraid of any complications during birth, especially because of Joanna.
So, this is my apology for deciding to ignore the overwhelming amount of support Tywin and Lady Tyrell got for having children, my bad guys. On the bright side, though, I have noted I will continue to write Tywin Lannister oneshots once this story is finished. While some of them will be a sort of continuation of A Lion in the Garden, some will just be regular oneshots, and I will write y’all the fluffiest, most wholesome Tywin dad fic you’ve ever read I PROMISE.
So, overall, just know I didn’t decide to not listen just for fun, I genuinely have reasons that I didn’t feel I could ignore, and also know that I am sorry. With that aside though, I hope y’all still really enjoy the story because I’ve got some big stuff coming up for these last few chapters🤭
—————
It was rather early in the morning, but just as always, Qyburn was awake. Not to mention, he was already in his laboratory researching and conducting experiments.
In fact, he was preparing to start brewing something when there was a knock at his door. It surprised him given that the sun was just barely peeking over the sea.
Qyburn rose from his chair, making his way to the door and pulling it open. He found Tywin Lannister standing there, much to his surprise.
“My lord, how can I help you?” He asked, wondering why the Hand had seeked him out so early, especially the morning after his wedding. Additionally, Qyburn was also curious as to why he had not gone to Pycelle. He was the Grand Maester, after all.
“There’s something I’d like to inquire about. May I come in?” Tywin asked, peering over the shorter man’s shoulder and observing the dark, messy room.
“Of course, my lord. I can clear a chair if you’d like to sit,” Qyburn offered, stepping aside so Tywin could enter and then shutting the door behind him. He couldn’t help but feel nervous, wondering if perhaps his experiments had once again gone too far and the man wished for him to leave.
“There’s no need, I’d like to keep this quite brief.”
“Very well, I-“
“My daughter trusts you quite a lot, doesn’t she?” Tywin questioned suddenly, interrupting the ex-maester and turning to look at him.
“I hope she does, my lord.”
Tywin nodded, hands folded behind his back as he gazed down at the dusty wooden floors. The air was thick and damp, and he wondered how Qyburn ever managed to get anything done without coughing and struggling to breathe.
“It’s rare that my daughter trusts people, especially outside of our family. However, there are certain qualities that win her over quite easily. Those of loyalty, and of secrecy. I wonder if perhaps I could make use of those traits and ask something of you,” Tywin said stiffly, watching Qyburn light another candle as he did. The small man gazed over, suddenly intrigued.
“Certainly, my lord. If it is within my capabilities, I shall do it.”
“And I can trust you to keep it to yourself? To tell nobody, including my daughter?”
“Yes, my lord.”
Tywin observed him thoughtfully, almost as if he was waiting for a but, or a request. Surely this man’s silence would come with a price.
“I will reward you handsomely for it.”
“There is no need, your lord.”
Now this made him raise an eyebrow. The favor and his silence for no price at all? Tywin had met plenty of men in his life, but none had ever been entirely selfless.
“If you do not wish for money, then what is it that you desire? Power? Land?” Tywin interrogated, taking a slow step towards the smaller man. Qyburn only smiled.
“None of those, my lord. I merely wish to experiment and research in peace. It is my one passion and calling, and with both the hospitality of you and her grace, I am allowed to do so. That alone is enough to secure my silence and my services whenever you should require,” he explained, giving a gentle, subtle smile to the Lord Hand. Tywin thought for a moment, and then nodded.
“I see. The task I have for you is nothing quite so… strenuous as what you did for my daughter. I simply require moon tea, though it must be made with the utmost precision. I need it to be entirely effective,” he explained, watching carefully for any hint of change on Qyburn’s face. There was no shock, nor any joy. The request was merely a job to him, not a rumor to be spread.
“I can have that ready within the hour, if you wish,” he offered, raising an eyebrow and running through a mental list of the ingredients he would need from his cupboard.
“Thank you, that would be convenient,” Tywin accepted, beginning to walk towards the door. Qyburn moved as well, reaching for the handle but not opening it.
“Will that be all, my lord?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Of course,” Qyburn nodded, pausing and pressing his lips together for a moment, “May I ask you something, my lord?”
Tywin paused, raising both eyebrows as a sign for him to do it.
“Why have you come to me? The Grand Maester is much closer to the tower of the hand, and he would be able to brew such a thing just as well.”
Tywin inhaled, looking Qyburn directly in his eyes and sucking in one of his cheeks as he contemplated.
“As I said, my daughter trusts you.”
—————
The sun was shining through the windows when I woke, and though Tywin was not beside me, I was glad to find he was still in the room, writing letters at the table instead of sitting in his office.
“Good morning,” I greeted, smiling and rolling onto my side to face him a bit better. He looked up, smiling back at me and setting his quill down.
“Good morning, wife.”
Tywin stood from his seat, making his way over to me and leaning down to press his lips to mine. I reciprocated happily, my hand against his cheek. I always enjoyed the gentle prickle of his beard, and I continued to cup his face even after he had pulled away.
“How early did you wake up?” I asked, yawning and leaning into his touch as he tucked some hair behind my ear.
“Just over an hour ago. Would you like to bathe?” Tywin asked, making me raise my eyebrows and nod instantly. I wanted to bathe very badly, and I smiled upon catching a glimpse of the steaming tub in the corner of the room.
I got up rather eagerly, making my way over to it and cautiously stepping it. It was the perfect temperature, and I let out a content sigh as I lowered down and sat in it.
Tywin shrugged off his coat, and I began to laugh when he rolled up his sleeves and kneeled beside the tub. He motioned for me to lean back, and I did so, allowing him to help me wet my hair.
“Let’s see if you manage to do this better than Cerella,” I teased, feeling the hot water against my scalp and relaxing. Tywin gave a slight scoff, entirely wetting my hair now and letting his hands go through it to massage my scalp.
“I highly doubt that. I’ll attempt to be comparable,” he replied, reaching for the soap and coating his hands in it before coming back to my hair. In the meantime, I had begun to wash my body, and suddenly the shock of what had accidentally happened the night before returned to me.
“Tywin, last night-“
“I know, (Y/N). When we’re done with this, we can discuss the subject. For now, just relax, hm?” He urged me, giving a look of utmost sincerity. I nodded then, swallowing and allowing him to continue with my hair.
Somehow, his hands did manage to make me relax, and I was leaning into his touch completely as he continued to massage my head. I found that I had nearly fallen asleep until I was jolted from my trance by a knock at the door.
“Cerella?” I questioned, looking back at Tywin. He nodded, and I called out for her to enter. There was a creek of the door, and then a few moments later she came into view.
“My lord! I can handle that,” she exclaimed upon seeing Tywin knelt beside the tub, hands in my hair. She had brought fresh sheets with her, and instantly placed them down at the end of the bed before coming over.
Tywin waved her off, shaking his head as he continued to wash my hair.
“I’d like to bathe my wife myself today. Change out the sheets in the meantime,” Tywin said, though Cerella gave me a cautious glance as if asking whether or not I actually wanted Tywin to do my hair. I gave her a nod, letting her know that I was enjoying this.
“Of course, my lord.”
I watched her move across the room and begin to pull the sheets from the bed, though she looked over her shoulder to smile and raise an eyebrow at me. I began to laugh, knowing she was making insinuations that we’d obviously had quite the night.
Tywin of course understood why I was laughing, and out of the corner of my eyes I saw him roll his own and then smile in guilty amusement.
“Lean your head back, (Y/N),” Tywin whispered after a moment, to which I complied and closed my eyes. I felt the warm water against my scalp once again, and it stayed this way for a few minutes until all the soap was entirely out. When that was done, Tywin rose from beside me and grabbed a towel, bringing it back over and waiting for me to rise.
Carefully, I stood up in the tub and held Tywin’s arm as I stepped out. He wrapped me in the towel then, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead as he did.
“I’ll dry and braid your hair right now, m’lady,” Cerella said, tucking the last corner of the sheets into the bed and then fixing the pillows. Tywin was helping me into my undergarments currently, and proceeded to pick out a rather lovely red gown.
“Already dressing me in Lannister colors?” I teased as he helped me into it.
“I’ve been wanting to for months. Plus, we leave for Casterly Rock today. My siblings will be pleased to see it.”
I could feel his hands at the back, messing with the strings and pulling them so the dress fit snugly, though comfortably, against me. Tywin was correct, Kevan and Genna probably would appreciate the gesture, and I hoped it would make a good impression, for I’d only chatted with the two of them briefly.
“Are we leaving in the afternoon?” I questioned, turning to face Tywin now that he was finished with my dress. He nodded, and then motioned to Cerella, who was standing by the dresser waiting for me.
For the next half hour, Tywin and I continued to leisurely chat while my hair was done and while he answered more letters. The odd thing was, my husband seemed unusually tense, and even then it was not necessarily an angry sort of tense, it was almost… well, awkward.
“You’re all done, my lady,” Cerella said, placing her hands on my shoulders as I admired my hair in the mirror, turning my head to both sides to see all the angles.
“Thank you, Cerella, it looks lovely.”
“Of course. I’ll leave the two of you be now.”
Cerella left the room briskly, and once the door was shut I turned my chair toward Tywin and sighed.
“You’re in a mood, Tywin. What's wrong? Is it… well, about last night?” I questioned, hands in my lap. I couldn’t help but fidget with the fabric of my sleeves.
He placed his quill down, taking a deep breath before meeting my eyes. He rose from his chair then, going to sit on the sofa and beckoning me to join him. I did so, despite the nervous wobbling in my legs as I walked toward him.
Once I had sat beside him, he took my hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze.
“I’m not- I’m not upset, (Y/N). I’m conflicted,” Tywin said softly, keeping his eyes focused on mine so I would know he was being entirely genuine.
“About?”
He opened his mouth and then paused before closing it again. There was silence in the room, and everything seemed so still.
“(Y/N), the topic of children was raised by your grandmother yesterday, and I’d like to apologize for not asking you sooner. During the course of our relationship, you have always noted—either outright or inadvertently—that you don’t wish to be a mother. I made the mistake of assuming that your sentiments have not changed, rather than asking you. We haven’t had a conversation about children, and given what’s happened I think we ought to,” Tywin said, motioning with his head just as he always did when he was coming to a point. I nodded in agreement, swallowing.
“I just- I don’t know. I’ve never seen myself as a mother, Tywin. I’ve never craved it the way that some women do. Cersei, for example, adores her children more than anything else on earth, and I’m told that usually mothers are supposed to feel that way. That the second your child comes into the world, you instantly love and cherish it, and suddenly nothing else matters. And maybe that’s right, maybe I would enjoy being a mother and I just don’t know it yet, but I- I can’t see myself that way,” I explained, looking down at my lap because it was difficult to admit. And in truth, I feared I was disappointing Tywin. He had always valued his legacy over nearly everything, and what gave me the right to prevent that?
“And I’m- I’m sorry, Tywin. I’m sure you were hoping I could be persuaded, or that perhaps because my sentiments of marriage have changed that my views on children would have too, but I can’t. I know it would be dramatic to claim that I would lose all sense of self as a mother, but often I feel that way. Even besides being viewed as weak or in no condition to be leading armies, I- I’ve always feared becoming another person. After my mother gave birth to Margaery, she- she was changed. She behaved in ways that she had not after birthing Loras. She became quite melancholy, and often woke in the middle of the night and accidentally harmed herself. It seemed- it seemed she was not entirely, well, my mother, and the maesters had not a clue what was wrong. It’s the reason Margaery is so close to both my grandmother and I, for we had to take over in some ways. And, over the years, I have heard of many women who become quite- well, who change after having children, and it does frighten me. I don’t- I don’t want to ruin the happiness I have with you right now,” I rambled, not letting Tywin speak because I needed to fully express myself before he said anything. He held my eyes the entire time, genuine understanding on his face.
“(Y/N), I never expected children from you,” he said after a moment, catching me completely off guard. I had begun to gape, and both eyebrows were raised in shock.
“If I had, we would’ve discussed it already. In fact, I- I don’t…” Tywin paused, and his voice had an odd tremble to it, almost as if he was going to cry.
“I don’t want children from you, (Y/N). As much as I- as I believe that you would do a wonderful job, and as much as I care for my legacy, your safety has and will always be more important to me. Childbirth includes far too many risks and… and after what happened with Joanna… to put it lightly, I don’t believe I would take another loss very well. I need you more than I need another son or daughter, (Y/N),” he said slowly, trying to maintain a calm and even tone especially as he spoke of Joanna. It was not easy, I knew. I processed what he’d said, and understood that we had come to a mutual agreement against children. A part of me felt relieved, and the part that didn’t felt guilty for being relieved, especially because Tywin’s reasoning was so saddening.
“If that’s the case, Tywin, then what… what are we going to do about what happened last night?” I asked softly, still feeling weighed down by that issue. An odd look passed across Tywin’s face, and then it was gone.
He rose from the couch, glancing at me before leaving the room. I sat silently, wondering what he was doing, for I knew he wouldn’t have dared to simply walk out. My best guess was that he was leaving to get something.
I sat for another minute or so before finally hearing the door open and watching Tywin enter the room with a cup in his hands. As he sat beside me once more, the scent of the liquid inside hit my nostrils, and a nervous suspicion rose inside me.
“Tywin?” I questioned warily, seeing the guilt on his face as he removed the lid. Yes, it was moon tea. Not exactly a minute long brew, and Tywin knew that just as well as I did.
“I asked Qyburn to make it for me early this morning,” he informed, knowing I was surely wondering how he had acquired it. For a moment my fear dissipated, at least knowing that Pycelle had not been asked for it. Then it returned as I processed that someone still knew.
“What?”
“Cersei trusts him, (Y/N). Do you think Cersei trusts just anyone? No. He will not tell of this, I assure you,” Tywin tried to calm me, but I had already risen from my seat, shaking my head with disbelief.
“Why would you go to Qyburn without consulting me, Tywin? Why would you risk exposing us to scandal this way? I know that everyone around us understands our marriage was a love match, but something has to convince them that it is also political, including my father. He approved of your demand to name me head of the Tyrell army with the impression that someday we would have children, and it would be one thing to claim I was infertile and couldn’t bear any, but to risk exposure by requesting moon tea from Qyburn?” I lectured, clenching my skirts and speaking frantically. My thoughts were racing, and I felt mortified at the prospect of people finding out that Tywin and I were purposefully avoiding children. It was simply something that a woman would not dare ask for in a marriage, and nobody would have the foresight to consider that perhaps Tywin did not want children either.
“As I said, I trust him not to spread rumors. He has helped House Lannister a great deal, and I’m not so stupid as to speak with Pycelle. I also understand that while you are a woman of many talents, moon tea must be brewed precisely, and you are no maester,” Tywin explained, standing and approaching me. He placed his hands on my shoulders, holding my attention as he reassured me. I let out a sigh, seemingly pacified until something else appeared in the back of my mind. My eyes shot up, and I gave Tywin a questioning glare.
“What would you have done if I had wanted children, Tywin? Why would you have asked Qyburn for moon tea before we even spoke upon the subject?” I asked, suddenly connecting the dots. My husband looked down at me with a firm stare, as if contemplating which path might be smoother: honesty or lies.
“I believe you already know why, my dear,” he replied evenly, his crystal blue eyes unwavering. There was no guilt on his face, which managed to anger me even more.
“You would have given it to me without my knowledge? Even if I had wanted children, even if my stance had changed entirely and they were the only thing on earth I wanted? Would you have slipped it in my wine anyways?” I snarled, fuming and feeling the angry heat spread throughout my body with each word I spoke. I was baffled and furious that he would dare to violate me in such a way.
“No. If children were the one thing that you truly desired more than anything, I would not have done it. If you felt passionately that you were meant to be a mother, I would not have done it. But if you had been merely willing or open to the idea of children, then yes, I would have. I don’t care if that upsets you, (Y/N), because I’ve told you time and time again that I will do whatever I can to protect you. I will exert every ounce of power I have over the gods to keep you safe, to keep you alive. I need you to understand that your anger does not bother me in the slightest, because I would rather see you furious with me than listen to you scream and watch you bleed out while attempting to birth a child. I can’t- I cannot do that again,” he said, his hand coming to the back of my head and forcing me to look up at him as he spoke. There was something so honest and desperate in his voice that it nearly frightened me. I began to realize that much like most of our arguments, it was once again boiling down to the same thing.
He could not lose me.
Or rather, he could not lose another wife.
Though I felt I ought to have remained angry, I knew it was not often that Tywin became this way with me. He only felt the need to go against me when it came to my safety, and though I would be angered and annoyed each time, it would not last. There was nothing made more clear to me in these last several months than that the impact of Joanna’s death was never going to fade away. Every belief Tywin had within our relationship and now our marriage, every principle. It was because of Joanna.
“Do you think we’ll ever stop having the same argument, Tywin?” I muttered softly, feeling my tense muscles relax just as his did. His hand moved from my head to my cheek, and he took a deep breath before shaking his head.
“No. No, we will always have this argument. It doesn’t matter if we see each other’s perspectives clearly, it doesn’t matter if we want to respect them. As much as I wish- as I wish I could ignore the fear I feel, I cannot. I need you to be safe, (Y/N), even if it leaves you upset. And I apologize for that,” he sighed, eyebrows slightly coming together with a sort of sad concern.
“I know, Tywin. I know. I just- well, we need more trust. I need you to understand that I’m aware of why you do things like this. I don’t hold it against you, and it makes perfect sense. I just- I merely wish you would be more direct when you have these feelings. I wish you would just say ‘(Y/N), I need you to be safe,’ or something along those lines. I only require honesty,” I explained, placing my hands on his chest and giving him a pleading look.
“The problem is, with most of the situations in which we have had this argument, it has happened after something has already taken place. Such as the tourney, or your run in with The Mountain,” he pointed out, to which I looked down somewhat shamefully.
“Yes, I know. But I am done with that now, I promise. I’m certain I’ve said that before but I mean it now. I’m- I’m your wife, Tywin, and I desire your trust more than you know. I’m going to earn it,” I said, bringing my own hand up to his cheek now. I could feel him leaning into my palm, and I brushed my thumb against his face.
“And I will be more open about my- feelings of anxiety,” he mumbled, as if admitting to it was something horrible. I merely smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you, Tywin.”
As I sat back down on the sofa and drank the moon tea, I reflected that despite the fact that Tywin and I had had many arguments, they had never lasted particularly long. I was not afraid to be honest, and in turn he was usually quite articulate. I also reflected that the most important thing was to genuinely resolve our conflicts. And knowing that we had just resolved this one made me smile, even if the tea was slightly bitter.
—————
It had been nearly a week since our wedding, and after several days of travel, we had finally reached Casterly Rock.
With the Kingdoms at peace and the peasants of Kings Landing well fed, Tywin and I saw no reason why we shouldn’t step away for awhile after our wedding, especially because he had been meaning to take me back for quite some time now. Plus, Tyrion would take his place until we returned.
We had traveled back with Genna and Kevan, who were both absolutely delightful and just as cunning as Tywin. Kevan was much more polite than Tywin, which in some ways made him even more dangerous because there was a potential to underestimate him. Genna on the other hand opted for humor, and frequently teased Tywin much to his endearing annoyance. She had also immediately taken to me, just as I had taken to her, and I found that each conversation we had made me adore her even more.
It was quite fascinating to watch Tywin with his siblings, for he had such a different dynamic with them, and with Genna especially. He and Kevan had been working as a team for their entire lives, but with Genna it seemed that Tywin cared very deeply and was quite protective, even if he would never admit it.
I had already known of Tygett’s death and Gerion’s adventures from which he had not returned, but I had certainly not been aware of the fact that Tywin’s youngest brothers had not particularly been in his favor. Genna had informed me of it one day when Tywin and Kevan had opted to go out hunting. I had been invited, but knew it would be rude of me to leave Genna alone and chose to stay behind instead.
During that conversation, I had received a hearty confession of gratitude, for apparently I had knocked some sense into her eldest brother and reminded him how to smile. It made me happy to hear Genna talk about him that way, because I could hear both the plain adoration and the criticism in her voice, both of which I felt Tywin deserved.
Beyond that, the days of travel had been filled with pleasant chatter and stories, not to mention good food. However, I was glad to finally reach Casterly Rock, and to my surprise it was just as big as I had remembered it.
“What do you think?”
I turned to Tywin, gaping at the enormous mountain before me. It was even taller than the wall, and I was baffled by the fact that most of the castle was inside of the giant rock, for the part exposed to the outside was already large enough. In a way, Casterly Rock was perfectly fitting for Tywin. Formidable on the outside even without consideration of everything hidden underneath.
“It feels less frightening this time around. It feels as though I belong here this time,” I said, slowing my horse down to a walk just as he did. The wheelhouse was pleasant, but at some point I had wished to see the landscape more fully than its small windows afforded.
“You do belong here now, you are the Lady of Casterly Rock. Though we’re cursed by my position as hand and will probably not see very much of it,” he remarked, which somehow made me sad. Tywin was certainly the most effective hand Westeros had seen in centuries, and as a result he had been forced from the one place he felt truly comfortable.
It was odd to consider, because although Kings Landing had produced many fond memories over the last few years, it would never replace Highgarden. I imagined Tywin felt the same about Casterly Rock.
“Well, I intend to make the most of the time we spend here either way. Plus, I’ve been enjoying your family quite a lot. They’re wonderful,” I said with a smile, turning over my shoulder to glance at the wheelhouse trailing behind us. Tywin scoffed.
“You’ve been enjoying Kevan and Genna. The rest of them are not so pleasant.”
“Whatever you say, Tywin. It’s not as if I’ll be forced to spend much time with them in a castle as big as this,” I replied, also knowing that this next week or so was going to be spent entirely around Tywin’s side, which meant the closest of the family members would be Genna and Kevan.
“No, thankfully we won’t. It’ll just be at the feast tonight and then that’ll be all. Most of them are cousins once or twice removed, and only Lannisters in name and looks,” Tywin grumbled bitterly, jaw boldening just as it did whenever he was irritated. Part of me found it humorous just how much he cared, but I simultaneously knew it would be better not to point that out.
“I’ll cry tears of joy upon returning to King's Landing and seeing hair that isn’t golden,” I huffed, laughing to myself and shaking my head at how ridiculous Tywin was being. Who was I to care about a family that was not my own? If anything, Tywin’s contempt for them probably meant they didn’t have a sword up the ass and could actually tell a decent joke, something that he only took from me and a younger sister.
“Luckily for you, mine isn’t so golden anymore.”
I only grinned at him, joy consuming me. I had complete and utter confidence that this trip would be extremely enjoyable, not to mention, it would certainly be eventful.
—————
“And lastly, my chambers. Or rather ours now.”
Tywin had certainly taken me on quite the tour of The Rock, including his vast knowledge of history with nearly every room we entered, and after several hours we had finally gotten to the part I’d been most excited for.
Two large double doors were pulled open by the guards, and I stepped into the room with an open mouth. Every piece of furniture was carefully adorned with gold and extreme, gorgeous detail, and of course there was no lack of deep crimson to accompany it. But what was truly awe inspiring was the absolutely massive window at the end of the room, enveloping the entire wall and looking out over the sea. It put the view from the Tower of the Hand to utter shame.
“Oh Tywin… it’s gorgeous,” I whispered, unable to avert my gaze for at least a minute as I took it all in. There was a low, quiet chuckle from behind me, and I felt his arms wrap around my waist.
“It’s certainly better than the tower of the hand,” he mumbled, burying his head in the crook of my neck. I found it odd that he was being so clingy, but I brushed it off and simply let him.
“The bed looks quite comfortable,” I noted to him, observing the various blankets and pillows covering it. It was somehow even larger than his bed in King's Landing.
“It is. And we’ll be spending quite a lot of time in it tonight, rest assured,” he said, kissing the side of my throat as I inhaled.
“Ahuh, to get your mind off of your burdensome family, am I correct?” I teased, turning around and smiling up at the man. He nodded, cupping my cheek. He said nothing, and I found a sort of sadness in his eyes.
“Are you alright, Tywin?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows with concern. I wondered if he was thinking of his late wife.
“I’m fine, my dear.”
“Did you… did you share these chambers with her?” I allowed myself to question, surprised when he shook his head.
“No. This room was built just under three decades ago. I- I could not stand to stay in that room after what happened. There was a perpetual blood stain in the bed frame, and I refused to part with any of her belongings. Kevan knew I would go mad if nothing was done and had the room locked up permanently. These chambers were built in the months following that,” Tywin explained, looking over my shoulder at the windows so he wouldn’t have to meet my eyes. He was sucking in his cheeks the way he did whenever he felt the urge to cry.
I remained quiet, wrapping my arms around him and keeping him close. For a moment, he simply stood there and processed his emotions. Then I felt his hand on the back of my head, and the other around my back. Tywin leaned into me completely and allowed himself the comfort.
“Thank you,” he whispered, calming himself with my familiar scent and forcing himself to pull away from me. I nodded, placing a reassuring hand on his chest.
“Of course, my love.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and then looked around, nodding casually.
“Come, we ought to change for the feast. I’m afraid that your wardrobe is going to be entirely crimson this week, wife,” Tywin noted, moving away and going to the closet. Upon opening it, I saw that he was correct. A range of dresses were there, but all adorned with red and gold.
Tywin, on the other hand, was afforded his usual coats. I saw him reach for the black one with gold lions along the bottom and the lapels.
“Is there a particular dress you’d like to see me in tonight?” I asked, coming up beside him and carefully running my hands through the various garments to examine them all.
“This one.”
Tywin stopped my hand, reaching in for the dress I was currently on and pulling it out. It was positively gorgeous, with shoulders and sleeves that were precisely Lannister styled.
I smiled at my husband, taking the gown from his hands and going over to the mirror. I placed it down on the small table beside me, watching as Tywin approached and began to help me undo the back of my dress. We’d become quite used to doing this, it seemed.
“Thank you, Tywin,” I said softly, removing my current dress completely and reaching for the other one. He stopped me, however, and opted to help me with that too.
“If you decide to jest right now, I’ll let you do it yourself,” he said then, noticing the smirk on my face as I opened my mouth. I did not reply, but gave a hearty laugh and moved into the dress as he needed me to. I knew that if I did decide to speak, I’d be unable to resist teasing that he was better than Cerella.
Either way, he persisted in his task and made sure everything was in place. I had a feeling that we’d be making quite the entrance tonight and he wanted to take the opportunity to show me off a bit.
Once he’d finished helping me dress, I returned the favor and fixed his hair. Though he gave me a look, not enjoying the same minute attention that he was always giving me, I knew he at the very least appreciated it. My husband was not very nit-picky about his appearance, but he was well groomed.
“Everyone’s going to stare when we enter the hall,” I noted, observing how we both looked in the mirror and finding that we painted quite the picture. We looked every bit the lord and lady of Casterly Rock.
“It’s almost as if that was what I had intended,” he replied sarcastically, hand brushing against the side of my face. I rolled my eyes at him, grabbing his arm with the implication that he ought to escort me to the great hall now. We had passed by it during the ‘tour,’ but Tywin had insisted I would see enough of it at the feast.
“Come, husband. I desire a good meal.”
Tywin said no more, leaving the room with me on his arm. As we walked, servants and members of the extended family could not help but gape. It seemed that even beyond the fact that I was Tywin’s new wife, the sight of us was rather intense. After all, both Tywin and I had always held ourselves with the utmost confidence. It’s a skill one learns when they intend to acquire power and respect.
“That makes 23,” I whispered to him as another maid walked past us. Tywin raised his eyebrow with me, clearly not understanding what I meant by ‘23.’
“23?”
“The 23rd person who was gaped upon seeing us. By the time we make it to the great hall, there won’t be anybody left in the castle who hasn’t,” I joked, laughing to myself as he shook his head.
“All the Lannisters anywhere near Casterly Rock have been invited to this feast. When we walk through the large double doors, I promise you that far more than 23 people will be gaping,” he muttered back to me, turning into a much larger, grander hallway. When I spotted the great doors at the end of it, a sort of nervousness filled me. It was almost as if I had just processed that the man beside me was the only person I truly knew here.
When we reached the doors, two servants reached for the handles and began to pull them open. A crack of light appeared in front of me, and Tywin broadened his shoulders beside me. I did the same, holding my head high despite my fear.
A lion does not concern itself with the opinions of the sheep.
I did not bother to contemplate that I wasn’t actually a lion but a rose, and that I was quite literally walking into the lion’s den. It wouldn’t have mattered though, because the only lion that truly mattered was Tywin.
Both doors swung open completely, and it took everything in my power to not react to the great hall. It was absolutely huge, and certainly gorgeous. More than that, I couldn’t recall a time I’d ever seen so many blonde haired people in one room. There were at least a hundred Lannisters seated among the various tables, and when they realized who was entering, they all stood up.
After waiting a moment, Tywin continued into the hall and made his way directly down the middle, approaching the head table where Kevan, Genna, and their respective partners sat waiting for us. When we got there, I pulled my hand off of Tywin’s arm and watched as he pulled out my chair. The room was so quiet you could’ve heard a pin drop, as everyone was so entranced by the scene before them.
Tywin Lannister pulling out another person’s chair?
I sat down, looking over at him as he pulled out his own chair and joined me. Once we were both seated, the hall was filled with the sound of chairs scraping, everyone eager to sit back down. I let out the breath I had been holding in, glad that people were no longer watching so carefully.
“My dear, I think half of the men in this room forgot they were married,” Genna said, leaning over towards me and smiling. I let out a good laugh, shaking my head at her.
“I beg to differ, but thank you for the flattery. I think they were more shocked to see Tywin letting someone grab his arm.”
We both laughed then, causing Tywin and Kevan to look over at us curiously. My husband took a deep breath.
“What is so amusing, wife?”
“Nothing that concerns you, husband.”
He merely shook his head at me, turning back toward his brother and chatting about something or other. They were prone to intellectual and political conversations, and I quite frankly was not interested at the moment.
“Would you give me a run down, Genna? I would assume you know all of these people much better than Tywin does,” I reasoned, glancing around at everyone surrounding us. They were slightly below us too. Genna nodded instantly, taking a sip of her wine and then motioning about the hall as she spoke.
“Most of these people are cousins, but obviously some are closer than others. The third cousins and such are at that table back there. There are also the Lannisters of Lannisport, though I am not quite so familiar with them. Think of it this way, the closer the table, the closer they are to Tywin. Everyone at these first two tables is a cousin, nephew, or niece. There are a few grandchildren too, of course,” Genna explained, pointing out a few different people to me afterwards. I tried as hard as I possibly could to ferment the information in my brain, even if it was a pointless endeavor.
As Genna was pointing out a few people at the table to our left, I couldn’t help noticing that Tywin was staring at something. Kevan was talking, of course, but my husband was sipping his wine and somewhere entirely different. I glanced over at where I assumed he was looking and caught sight of two older but quite handsome women. I furrowed my eyebrows and inquired about them to Genna.
“Genna, who are those two women? Seated right here to our left?”
“Oh, those two are cousins, daughters of Jason Lannister.”
“Are they..?”
“Joanna’s younger sisters? Yes. Tywin does his utmost to avoid them, it seems.”
I looked at them once more, observing that they looked quite similar, and reasoned that perhaps Joanna had too. Glancing at Tywin, I realized that he looked utterly numb. Many would argue that he always did, but I knew better.
I reached under the table, taking his free hand in mine and giving it a good squeeze. He seemed surprised by this, and when he turned his head to face me, I gave him a knowing look. In no way was his staring offensive to me, for I understood that seeing two faces which looked so similar to one that no longer existed must be hard.
“Are you alright?” I whispered, furrowing my eyebrows with a bit of concern. Tywin inhaled and nodded, leaning over and pressing his lips to my forehead. I was surprised that he had done it so publicly, but perhaps it was what he needed.
“Yes, my dear. All is well.”
I nodded at him, not letting go of his hand even when I turned back to Genna and continued to talk with her. I knew Tywin had quite the troubled past, but that would only encourage me to try and soothe him. For how could I claim to love this man if I did not accept him in his entirety?
Though there was no doubt in my mind our week at Casterly Rock would be wonderful, I knew it would not be without bitter memories, and I was entirely prepared to comfort my husband whenever I felt he needed it.
Tywin would never admit that seeing Joanna’s sisters made him solemn, but I would know. He would never admit that being at Casterly Rock in itself brought back countless memories of his late wife, but I would know. It was the most curious thing that I knew whenever Tywin was upset. But was it not my job as his wife? As the woman he loved?
Oftentimes, I found it was easier to know Tywin than myself. Flaws or grievances that you might shame yourself for become endearing when they are attached to someone you love, and I had certainly discovered that. For Tywin—despite his various flaws, questionable morals, and lack of emotional stability—was so important to me now that I could not imagine myself without him. And sitting at the high table of Casterly Rock, I felt more than just content. I felt completely overjoyed.
For now, among my various other titles, I was the Lady of Casterly Rock.
TAGLIST:
@cheyxfu @lemonscoffee @groovy-lady
@ladysindar @vesta-ro @exo-nova @paola-carter
@prettykinkysoul
@fullmoonshadowwrites @kishie8
@the-desilittle-bird @dianilaws @girlonfireice
@muscari-fae @lostgirllulu
@abigfanofgameofthrones @smalltownbigheart
@frombloodandflesh @supernaturalismyreligion666
@thanyatargaryen @rey26 @hexandale @pkawaiidesu5394 @aimsro
#tywin lannister#tywin lannister x reader#game of thrones#game of thrones x reader#house lannister#tywin x reader#charles dance#asoiaf#a lion in the garden
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Hello Writeblr!!!
This is my first time making an intro post for something like this, so it might go through some changes but here we go
I'm Zéta (she/hers), but y'all can refer to me with either of my usernames! (My main blog is @olive-riggzey, and I'll follow people back from there because Tumblr doesn't let sideblogs do the following for some reason??)
For easy(?) access, I'll be linking all of my available stories to this page (which will also be accessible from the main page of this blog!)
Please let me know if you would like to be included on my tag list for whenever I update my stories!
Now here's a little bit about me:
My main genres are fantasy and realistic fiction, although I do love writing science fiction too!
I'm actually mostly a comic creator that likes to write novels/short stories, and I'm currently working on a comic titled "Stained Integrity" (which is what a lot of my current art that I post is from)!
My short stories are written in a different style than my longer works, since I really love writing stream-of-consciousness stories! I have multiple short stories that I am compiling into a booklet of sorts so that they can be read.
I like to let my characters write themselves, so often they take on personalities I wasn't expecting. I think this makes the experience a lot of fun, but this also sometimes makes my stories go a bit off the rails!
I write a TON of aro/ace rep! (I myself am grayro/ace)
I love writing found family tropes! I also really love writing adventure stories, stories involving pirates, dragons, and plants.
I'm a linguist, so I'm really obsessed with language in my stories! I have several fantasy languages that I have constructed, including signed languages! Here's a masterlist for all the random writing advice that I've shared through my love of linguistics.
Because I write a lot of research papers for my studies outside of writing, I have taken to a hobby of writing fantasy textbooks and whatnot that are "cited" by characters in my stories.
You can see my art condensed over here on my other social media! That's where I post art day-of after I draw things, instead of in batches like I do over here.
This is my Wattpad! I have a story updating every other Tuesday over there, as well as an experimental story that will be updating randomly!
I will happily participate in tag games and the like. And my askbox is (hopefully) going to be open indefinitely! But please do not send me chain asks (e.g., "Send this to ten people or else" asks) or tag me in posts with reblog bait (e.g., "Reblog if you ____")! These things unfortunately trigger my OCD and I'd like to avoid that. :}
Aaaand I think that's it for now! Thanks for taking the time to read this post and/or my writing! I can't wait to find more writers to chat with and read the writing of!
#Zeta Rambles#Writeblr#Writing Blog#Writers on Tumblr#Creative Writing#Writing#Writer#Writeblr Intro#Writeblr Community
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I'm just finishing up FFS and i just wanted to say that I really like the way you bring the side characters to life, like Leo, Han Yuen and Professor Adeyemi. They feel very real considering they have very little time in the narrative, it's something i think a lot of writers struggle with
Hi anon,
Thank you so much!!
Honestly, I think a big part of it, especially with those characters, is that I actually just like to imagine them as being real people themselves with their own motivations and quirks etc. That's something I really love doing. :D
The rest is under a cut because it's basically suggestions to writers and idk if you're a writer anon dslakfjasd
Part of making side characters seem realistic is giving them motives that often have nothing to do with the main character, or only have a little to do with the main character. We can tell Leo's got stuff going on his life, especially around his parents, based on the content of his poetry. He has a shy and friendly disposition, and seems eager to please, so he might be someone who's got some boundary issues in his own life, and some stuff he's working through!
Han Yuen is clearly competitive and very involved in poetry, and has a theme that she strongly adheres to. We get the sense that she's very passionate while also enjoying the deep connections poetry gives her. She doesn't have much interest in Efnisien at all, but she's friends with Leo, and by the time she does come into Efnisien's life, we get the sense she's been living her own just fine.
Professor Adayemi is the same. She has her own motives, she'd absolutely fire Efnisien if he wasn't efficient and she sees him as nothing more than a fast typist/worker who keeps late hours for reasons she doesn't really care about. While she's a great boss that's convenient for Efnisien, she doesn't exist to be a great boss to him, they're just compatible in that sense. She's ferociously competitive in her area of academia (anyone who is publishing as much as she does, is).
When we finally get to see her office, and meet her, we realise that she's a lot more complex than even Efnisien's given her credit! She has a femme side, she can be girly, she likes simple pleasures, she can be messy. In a way, they were both kind of 'useful' to each other until they became people to each other. We also know from her surname and her area of study in anthropology, that she's likely an extremely strong feminist and voice for Black people in her arena, and potentially has some political motivations for the direction she chose in life, or at least informing the reason she's publishing as much as she is.
I really love writing side characters actually, because part of the fun is realising them as people and then picking some thing - something big, something small - that will make them interact with the main character. I enjoy seeing them even if I'm only writing a handful of lines for them in a chapter, because in my head, they're so much more richly realised, it's like meeting a friend you haven't caught up with in a while.
This doesn't have to involve days and days of research or work, either. All of these things are constructed around several key points, and at least one or two things the side character is passionate about.
It doesn't have to be a struggle, and it's something writers can do in their spare time when they have writer's block and are too tired to work on their story, but want to get 'some writing' done. Sitting down and banking some side characters and attaching some passions, motivations, culture etc. to them and putting them in a document somewhere, can give them side characters in a pinch when they need them.
Constructing side characters - both minor and major - is one of those things that can be done at any time, independently of a story. Adayemi could work in a sci fi, fantasy, contemporary, etc. setting. So could Han Yuen and Leo. What makes them them isn't the setting, and that stretches them into 'real beings' or solid characters that are transferable and can exist in many different places.
If you're stuck thinking of how to describe side characters, you can try practice runs with real characters. Pick a handful of main or side characters from your favourite TV shows or movies, and then give yourself only 3 sentences to describe them (or three paragraphs). Practice getting the hang of seeing the big details the fastest, and then adding on what I would call 'textural details' that add sensory anchors (it might be the foods they like to eat, the clothing they like to wear and its texture, the flowers they like to sniff, the scents they wear etc.)
It doesn't take long to build confidence doing this! And then you'll have to stop yourself from adding too many side characters to your stories like I do lmao
Because you only use three sentences or paragraphs to describe them, then - along with the dialogue - that's actually all you need to establish them in your story!
Establishing good/solid dialogue is another part of this, and I've written about that before but am too lazy to link it here. But constructing character can happen long before you get to dialogue. :D
#asks and answers#pia on writing#characterisation#on writing#i'd also add that it's good not to get too hung up on the physical details#and that if you're going to into areas of race and ethnicity#always always research to make sure you're not hitting offensive tropes#because a lot of the time we've internalised some from mass media and people around us#without realising#and they can come out in side characters if we don't actually#make them fully realised characters in their own right#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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hai sins :hugg:
kariselle super duper hot, im actually jealous how u were able to set that up so well and casually, makes me think abt how I do my own worldbuilding like maybe in Minecraft terms turning down my render distance(?????) to just the characters and less to the environment
sisterly bonding also cool, named reader is something id love to try out. I haven't done threesome yet and I will be taking notes :DDDD in particular im interested in how you wrote in such a way that didn't take long, I didn't think abt it a lot before I started but after I did I've been avoiding threesome bc I felt they had to be long like 5k+ and have all the moving parts when you could just,,, do that which is awesome
tuesdays with you again named reader and this time fem, it's another thing I have an aversion to bc im not well into the intricacies of the female experience but reading eunbi I had to stop and think if it really really warranted that much special attention. the cut was also perfect tho that wasn't too hard to do in hindsight, just makes me wonder abt how I do my own cuts since im kinda insecure that I do them so often sakfjflshshdkf
this maybe wasn't the sort of feedback u were looking for lmao sorry but ily sins go to sleep :DDDD
hi box!!
okay let's dissect this part by part.
Kariselle exists because I work with characters, yes. I think the world around the characters can only be built when you have a grasp of what you want these two, three, four people to do with each other. It's the wrestling philosophy—I'm the booker of the show, and it's a sex show. I want the audience to see these two people fuck. These two really complement each other in some shape or form (character trait, like, for example, in To-Do List, Minju's naughty, and OC's corruptible and a bit of a pushover). Now, I have the complentary traits, and I can start selling the reason why they fuck: Is Minju exploring? Is she a known pervert? Is OC just a horndog? What does Minju want out of this? What does OC want out of this? Why do they have to fuck? I think this is an effective way to start a draft—knowing your characters first, and making a world around them.
For Sisterly Bonding, a threesome does not have to be complicated. You can actually just start with the sex scene, and sprinkle details in later. Writing does not have to be a linear process—this is something I need to learn myself too. You can absolutely just cut the story short, and sprinkle details of it into the smut instead. However, remember that Sisterly Bonding is Chapter 1 of a series, and not a standalone, so I do have wiggle room to spread my worldbuilding out, which results in what is posted.
For Tuesdays With You—I'm not familiar with that experience at all either. I'm absolutely shooting from the hip, but I've also tried to really make it as realistic as I can imagine or know through research. I'm pretty sure there's a girl out there who's read my work and went "this is bullshit" and left, but I don't think I'll ever know, unless they use this AMA to really tell me "haha ur shit" or something idk. I think I'm doing okay though, based on the comments on AO3.
Your cuts are fine, from what I remember. Don't worry about it.
:huggr:
Sex in the Box,
Sins.
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Wattpad Conversions of CA
Hi my loves!
Just wanted to reach out to all of you and thank you for reading CA and still commenting after all of this time. Your love for this fic is what is keeping me going! Thank you! I also want to update you all on an ongoing situation:
I've been made aware that the Wattpad user, 'edits_727' (on Ao3 their user name is bishopsbxtch) is still copying and pasting my chapters as I update them to Ao3. This started as a conversion originally done by the Wattpad user 'Switcho_16' and I believe they stopped taking the chapters around the time I took a hiatus and most likely got tired of waiting for me to come back. Now, this user is continuing the conversion, having copied and pasted each update since I returned to posting the story.
I know that to a lot of people, converting stories to different fandoms seems harmless - but it absolutely is. CA is an AU, meaning that there are differences in its universe than the Glee universe that it's based from as a fan work, which can be incredibly time consuming to create. I don't say that to downplay other non-AU stories, I say that to highlight just how much work I put into the story as a whole. The updates take so long because I spend so much time making sure everything I write connects and is cohesive. Not to mention the original characters and backstories I came up with, making sure there are no plot holes, the research I've done - this is hours and hours of labor that I do because I had a vision SPECIFIC to this fandom. To me, it is a slap in the face to see another person simply copy and paste and change the names. Before, when I made a post about this, a person messaged me and told me that this was 'flattering' and that the users on Wattpad never took credit - which is A. not true, because there were other versions that have been deleted that absolutely did not credit me as the author, and B. this person simply says that 'the story is a conversion of another on Ao3' and never lists my name. Most of all, THEY DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO DO THIS. Period.
There is nothing flattering about this. If you crave content for your fandom like CA, go out and create something similar, or even 'inspired by' with the author's permission and knowledge - that's flattery and even more so, that's real creativity. Craft your own work for your fandom.
CA exists because of my love for BDSM and the lack of well written stories about it in the Glee fandom. I hated the Fifty Shades series because it was a terribly fleshed out story that demonized that lifestyle for the sake of a few poorly written smut scenes with a main character that had no boundaries and was a terrible example of what a real Dom looked and acted like. It was glamorized for all of the wrong reasons and I hated that. So, I thought I could do a better job with Rachel and Quinn specifically due the character traits they have on Glee.
Not only that, but I wanted a story that accurately covered body dysmorphia and the ups and downs of falling in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable. The G!p tag was an interesting rabbit hole that I had journeyed down at the time, and I wondered what it would be like to create a story that didn't just use it as an excuse to get out of writing smut scenes between two women whose bodies were the same. I wanted to know what kind of plot could be crafted and how realistic I could make it. I wanted to know what kind of impact going through something like that would have on a person. I wanted a real story, a journey for the two characters.
Of course, this story is just a fanfiction, but I worked so hard on every aspect of it and I have gone through hell to keep it going. I don't want other people taking it for other fandoms. I just don't feel that it is right. I have messaged the 'author' and calmly explained how I felt to them. I have also asked them to take the story down and to stop because they don't have my permission and I'm hoping that is well received, but in the meantime I am encouraging ANY of you that are doing that in any fandom to stop.
As I said before, take the time to create your own works and build your fandoms with the stories you want to see. It is much more exciting, and it comes with ups and downs but that is the beauty of fandom and fanfiction itself.
Love you all.
-Mimi
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15 questions for 15 mutuals
I was tagged by @simolemons, @satellite-sims, and @spaceapples98. Omg I feel so lovedddd 🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you!
Are you named after anyone? Yep! I'm named after Laura Ingalls-Wilder, the writer of the Little House on the Prairie books. My mom was obsessed with the books and the 70s TV show for some ungodly reason. Fun fact, I hate LHotP with every fiber of my being. I'm fine with my name though.
When was the last time you cried? Oh God, it's been a turbulent few weeks. Pick a time, I've probably cried. 🙈
Do you have kids? No. Wait, let me rephrase that. GOD NO!!!!
Do you use sarcasm a lot? I feel like this question is a trap. I want to speak to my lawyer.
What sports do you play/have you played? I am not a sports person. I guess I have dabbled in the sweaty arts for fun every so often when I've lost my mind, but I've never really played on a team or a in a league or understood most sports on a basic level. Is the Sims a sport?
What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Probably their voice and their tone and the way they ask me what I'm doing in their house.
Scary movies or happy endings? It really depends on what is meant by "scary movies" because I don't do gore at all. Like Saw and shit? Absolutely not. Absolutely. not. But I do like suspenseful supernatural horror movies as long as there isn't much gore involved. I think I prefer movies with happy endings given a choice between only these two but I wouldn't say no to a good old fashioned bittersweet ending.
Any special talents? I can whistle really well. I practice a lot when I'm alone. I don't whistle for other people often because, funnily enough, despite your skill level, people find it incredibly annoying. Actually maybe being annoying is my special talent? 🤷♀️ Also I can do this thing where I can vibrate my right face cheek (I have to specify for you freaks) and make a sound like a horse. It's only the right face cheek, not the left. I don't know why.
Where were you born? Virginia! We didn't live there long after I was born so I don't really remember it but I've also lived in North Carolina, Georgia, and South Carolina. Southern through and through!
What are your hobbies? Sims, writing, writing for my Sims, Sim-themed writing, procrastinating writing Sims stories, miscellaneous video games, crafts, complaining, jewelry making (I'm not good at it, don't get excited), researching cults, and fashion doll collecting.
Do you have any pets? Sadly, no. It's kind of a struggle taking care of one person on my income but I'm hoping to save enough to where I can get a kitty or two and be reasonably comfortable with vet bills. I really, really, really love cats. I'm an orphaned cat lady at the moment.
How tall are you? 5'2" (roughly 159 cm). Smol, but not too smol, right at shin-kicking height.
Fave subject in school? English. Honestly liking any subject in school was a struggle because I was homeschooled and my mother is The Worst™ but English and Vocabulary and Creative Writing were my jam despite her best efforts.
Dream job? Are we talking realistic dreams or unrealistic-obviously-never-going-to-happen-but-I-like-to-fantasize dreams? If it's the former, I'd like to be an editor. If it's the latter, I'd like to be a professional kitten-cuddler.
Eye colour? Light green, bordering on light blue, but still obviously green if you look close. Kind of sea green, I guess. I've always struggled to describe my eye color and other people do, too. It's weirdly in between green and blue. If I were to remove my glasses and stare at you like 👁👁 you could very clearly see they're green, but otherwise, with my glasses on just looking at me like a normal person, you would be forgiven for thinking they're light blue. I'm not trying to be ✨unique✨ or anything; this is just what happens when your mom has blue eyes and your dad has hazel eyes and genetics just gives the fuck up.
I think most people have done this tag while I'm on semi-hiatus but let's just throw some names out there and see what sticks. 😈 @happy-lemon @monets-pixels @hurricanesims @moyokeansimblr @oasislandingresident @hazely-sims @treason-and-plot @ts3strayastray @miss-may-i @ktarsims @sharssims @amphoraeus @brannewjoint @autonomousllama @nocturnalazure
#not sims related#tangentially sims related#just simblr things#ask meme#ask game#tag games#thank you for tagging me#uwu#i love you guys sm
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Hi I don't know if you've seen the video of Jack and that girl skating tonight yet but it got me thinking. Could you possibly talk about how fans react to Nico and Clementine if that makes sense? How do they find out? unless these are all spoilers of course🙏🏼 Love your stuff!
hi! yes i did see that video which i think is very cute tbh so good for him! please fix his hair babe and drop the link to the jeans they were cute. i really do appreciate this question for a multitude of reasons so thank you actually for asking so i can indulge myself haha
so i've actually thought about this a lot, as someone who is myself a fan and has been a part of many different fandoms (hockey is by Far not my first. i was on one direction tumblr back in the day and am convinced it prepared me for Everything). i always find it interesting as someone who's a Part of one but doesn't always engage if that makes sense.
my point is, below is how i think it would go (no big spoilers), and it's based off of hope, my experiences with what i (and im sure a lot of you guys) have seen and being realistic.
so Clem's instagram is private. that's important. and in my world, i don't think she ever goes public, even when getting together with nico and getting married (this is a spoiler but not really...you think im not gonna make them stay together? please).
okay so we've seen how people start assuming things based on who the guys follow on ig, right? so nico follows clem a few weeks after meeting her, but no one really cares. because people have done their basic research and anyone who's followed the hughes for a few years know that clem is a hughes and a family friend. its the same energy as jack following nina on ig. no one blinks an eye.
they start dating april 2024, and no one is really thinking anything. nina does follow her in the summer, which raises a few eyebrows, but nothing crazy.
clem does a semi hard launch on her ig over the summer, but again, she's private and none of her friends are snitches, so no one in the general public knows anything
we don't really know (or at least i don't) how nico is when he's a relationship because i don't believe he's been in one the general public knows about since going pro (again, could be wrong, but this is all based off my own knowledge). for example, trevor just did a hard story launch, jack did a semi one with a post when he was with sienna, etc etc.
saying that, i think speculation really starts when nicole (jesper's gf) starts following clem on ig sometime in late summer 2024 or right before the season starts. we know nico and jesper are close enough to travel in the off season together, so that's big. people start noticing that other devs players like timo and jesper start following her. blaring siren horns. that's pretty much confirmation
the hockey fights cancer article is released in the 2024-2025 season, so peopele are like oh damn nico bagged himself a beautiful, smart doctor?? good for him. move aside buddy. that kind of stuff.
hard launch on nico's end? this instagram post. they've been dating for a bit over a year already at this point. everyone goes nuts as they do
and then i imagine it's kinda like, generally good? obviously you're gonna have some crazies being weird, but people Love that narrative of clem growing up with the hughes and now dating nico
she's not as public facing as other significant others in the league, but i imagine behind closed doors she eventually does embrace the role of being the captain's girlfriend (which i hope to write about at some point). i picture something like her and nico helping out a family financially receiving treatment in the hospital when finding out they're devils fans. very behind closed doors, but extremely sweet and thoughtful. one of the kids she's treating is a huge jack fan? immediate signed jersey and tickets to the next devils game. that kind of stuff.
bc clementine knows how important all of this is. and shes always known.
and then its the typical stuff. she's spotted at games, during playoffs with the iconic wag jackets, family skates, christmas parties, various ig stories from the hugheses, nico, nicole, etc etc.
in terms of games, yes she does join the family and friends boxes once in awhile, but she absolutely LOVES being in the action. so most of the time, she's out sitting with fans. it's great. she's shotgunned many a beer with fans. devs fans adore her bc she really is one of them and doesn’t shy away from that. many say a captain + their SO represent the organization. she and nico do it perfectly.
i hope this answer was what you were looking for. this was so long winded and i apologize for that, but i did want to think out my answer because i think it's important and fun to think about!! thank you so so much for asking❤️
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