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#realized i didnt even post the first one here so i guess ill just post both
yuudamari · 1 year
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garreg mach chess club
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todayisafridaynight · 12 days
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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh
hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]
i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..
#snap chats#//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes#might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking#he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ#oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever#first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway#aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO#though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role#daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot#yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does#if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh#and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing#theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line#masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together#if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack#but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral#im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like#'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal#they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together#like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid#so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/
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heat--end · 4 months
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beat the scarlet/violet DLC! i havent done some of the bigger postgame stuff yet, but ive beaten the main story, which is really the important part
ill leave my longer thoughts under the read more to avoid spoilers
honestly, i really like how they handled this DLC. i think part of me likes kitakami as a place more, but this is also a really nice little spot. the terarium is a cool place, the pokemon in it are cool, etc.
what i REALLY liked was the story, as well. ive talked about this with a lot of other people, but SV's main theme seems to be getting yourself too lost in your own desires, so much so that you don't realize what happens, and this continues that. ambition is a great thing, but pushed too far, it can put others at risk. i think kieran's character is fantastic in this regard. it genuinely makes sense, and it's no surprise he ends up the way he does, and his desire to look up to the player becomes warped and corrupted because he wants to be better, he wants to achieve the dreams he's seeing the player reach, etc.
it's really interesting stuff. i really, REALLY like it, honestly, and i love how they handled briar in the way, too. briar literally gets so invested and excited about terastialization research that she's putting *three children* at risk. she actively realizes this and apologizes, and i like that they highlighted this. it's a neat theme, and i think the DLC tackles it really well
like the lore and extra stuff introduced is cool, but i feel like always, the character writing shines really well here. it's nice to see a bit of old kieran peek back out, him falling into old habits, but then we see him lose himself again as SOON as a sliver of a chance for him to be better than the MC arrives. for that, i'm a huge fan, i think they did a really good job there
also, big fan of BBQs. scratches that "i want to do PLA tasks forever" itch just enough to be satisfying
the one thing i wasn't a fan of was the battle difficulty, however. now, keep in mind, after asking my friends for some help i WAS able to adjust my team and have strategies to beat them and all that, but MAN, this is WAY too drastic of a leap in difficulty compared to base game, IMO. it'd be one thing if this was optional, but this is the main story.
now, keep in mind, i don't mind if they want to make pokemon games harder. i think it's a good thing. challenge and all that. but when base SV wasnt... ANYTHING like this, it is VERY jarring for them to like, legitimately start using competitive movesets and strategies and all that, without so much as a means to prepare you for it. i feel like there's gonna be a lot of people who just get hard walled by some of the battles, and idk how i really feel about it.
i AM glad this is here, but, i don't think it shouldve been the DEFAULT. some kind of toggle or even having these be post-game battles wouldve been great. but having it be the main difficulty scaling feels really bizarre in comparison to SV's base difficulty. hell, kitakami wasn't nearly as bad as this. it's a leap that is very, VERY drastic.
(and yeah, i did get fucked up bad early on, but keep in mind this is coming from someone who first tried kieran, who is the hardest battle in the DLC. so it's not like i was just playing poorly all the time)
also stellar as a tera type is kinda just whatever i feel. idk not really as interesting as it seemed to be. it's cool lore wise, but even then it's just like... eh, neat, i guess LOL
all in all, i really liked indigo disk. it wasn't the most mindblowing thing ever, and i feel like i MAYBE liked teal mask more, but honestly, it's not by a huge margin. it was pretty good, i had a good time. i'd say it won't win over anybody who already didnt like base SV, but it's worth if you like the base game because it improves on a lot. honestly, i think i like the DLC more than i do the base game, and i already liked SV, lmao
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davestriderascend · 4 months
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the mspa reread, pt 7
after finishing homestuck, ive been working my way progressively through the other content available on the unofficial collection. at this point, all thats left to reconsume is problem sleuth, so ill just recap my feelings about everything else in one singular post here to keep the flow going.
if youre new here, dont even worry about it. the previous parts dont matter, unless you want to read my homestuck recaps.
so heres the recap of the unofficial collection bonus material, ig
Skaianet
i was one of the few people who was there when this came out and managed to read the whole thing before it was shut down. i reread it. no further comments.
Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff, + Team Special Olympics
i am not reading either of these. ive glimpsed more than enough in passing.
The Vigil Prince
i read this but i genuinely have no idea what the fuck its supposed to be???
Ryanquest
probably the shortest thing on the site outside of the vigil prince. its pretty funny ig
Namco High
ive played a decent number of dating sims in my life, and this is my least favorite. i played through davesprites route and then resolutely decided i wouldnt bother playing any more. there are too many fucking characters, there arent really any choices, and the whole thing is just a drag. i tried looking up walkthroughs or playthroughs for the purpose of this recap, but i found nothing bc of how unpopular/how little time this game was available for. i was unfamiliar with all characters except the cousin, teh ship thing i GUESS? nad obviously the hs characters. this did not help anything. i think davesprites route was probably the most interesting one anyway.
Paradox Space
i owned this book, i think. i know when i first read the comic i read the physical version. its in storage now, so i just reread it thru the collection. its still really good. i didnt realize hussie had actually written some of the comics. its funny, and parts of it are really great bonus material or commentary on hs.
summerteen romance surprisingly enough holds up for me as both comedic genius and a surprisingly sincere commentary on hivebent and karkats feelings about it on the meteor trip. mister seven remains my favorite comic, but the last one with vriska and equius was particularly powerful, leaning into a chaotic art style that really emphasized vriskas desperation and incoherence as she lost more and more blood. it made me think of what arkham asylum by grant morrison wanted to be. in general though, there are a lot of genuinely really sweet and funny moments in the comic as a whole. i think i loved it more on my reread than i did on my first read.
Jailbreak
jailbreak is a short comic with one splitting track (with no real consequence) wherein a guy tries to escape from jail with some other guys. if i recall, this one is entirely based off of reader suggestions, so its really random and all over the place. its also very characteristic of hussies earlier era humor.
i remember loving it the first time i read it, but honestly? a lot of the jokes were just kind of distressing on my reread. the dark humor just really isnt my thing anymore i guess. its just kind of... gross now.
still, it has a lot of influence on jokes in homestuck. lord jack's entire jail sequence is like, a direct riff off of this comic. this is also where the what pumpkin joke comes from, and the porno sword. the elf saw a penis and began to cry meme is from this comic.
Bard Quest
hussies incomplete short comic. this is where she really experimented with splitting tracks. however, unlike in homestuck and jailbreak, none of them are resolved, which can result in a clunky narrative where you just have too many damn tabs open.
this is very obviously where the codpiece thing started.
Albums
once youve finished homestuck, hiveswap acts 1 and 2 ost unlock, as well as the friendsim ost, a "grubbles" album based off of the fictional hiveswap band, and the final "beyond canon" album.
Hiveswap OST
im a sucker for the hiveswap soundtrack, absolutely. act one especially is fantastic. but the real highlight of this album is toby and james's track commentary. they bicker back and forth and joke around in the notes, and honestly, its fucking hysterical. act 2 is also good, but it doesnt have any of the commentary.
The Grubbles
its good! it has a nice, consistent sound, and the tracks are pretty solid. its very short, though, and i dont have a ton to say about it.
Friendsim OST
the reality is that everything james roach makes is pretty fire. some of the commentary on this albums really interesting, also. i really like M O I S T and >tfw another james roach song, i think theyre some of the most powerful tracks in terms of atmosphere. however, service car is definitely my favorite. its just so funky.
Beyond Canon
something i think is interesting about beyond canon is that its largely new artists. in all of the previous hs albums, you got the sense that a lot of the musicians knew each other and worked together or listened to each others work, and as a result, you really see them build off of each other. there are so many repeating sounds and motifs, with people constantly remixing each others works, or sticking to similar themes in instruments or sounds- ie; favoring piano in songs about john, whatever. theres a distinct sound to those early albums where you listen and youre like, oh yeah, this is a homestuck album.
i dont get that with beyond canon. it doesnt reference any older stuff. these arent recognizable artists whove influenced homestuck for ages. its all new.
robert j, one of like four returning artists, says this in the track commentary:
about five months ago i was contacted to be a part of the homestuck 2 music team and was told the lowdown: it was a clean slate, and a chance to establish the musical rockbed for homestuck 2 going forward. no quotes of hs1 songs whatsoever, but we'd be making new songs TO quote
which pretty much backs up everything i said. and i get the purpose of something like this, but it does present a challenge for new musicians because theyre working without the same base for nostalgia. the fact that there isnt a ton of really distinct musical diversity in this album, with a lot of it relying on a very electronic sound to the point where i originally thought the album was themed, rather than a supposed new start for this new era of homestuck, also may be challenging when moving forward with new albums.
idk. its a fine album, the songs are fine, but nothing about it really sticks out to me.
Final Thoughts
anyway, all thats left now is to reread problem sleuth, and then i can uninstall this massive fucking thing. i might replay the games, or reread the post canon stuff eventually, but the light is shining at the end of the tunnel at last
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payphonex · 1 year
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Well, this is the first time I've written in almost 3 years. I'm not even sure what to say, honestly. I feel like my entire life has been taken from me. I feel like I've forgotten how to write.
Am i supposed to be angry? in love? sad?
lost?
Im lost. I dont know who I am anymore. I gave up everything for this toxic relationship. I stopped going to bars, seeing my friends. i stopped talking to anybody especially over text because everything would be read. I stopped taking phone calls unless i was home alone, which was rare. I learned to shut up, not talk about my emotions because it would be such a big fight; i wasnt paying attention to how she felt when i was upset. Even now, as im writing this i am terrified she'll see it.
She'll say something, she always does. She'll disapprove and ill be in trouble.
again.
We broke up, about 3 weeks ago. I moved to Tennessee. Im finally with my dad. Honestly, the only reason i didnt stay in town was because i finally had the courage to block my mom.
Maybe the universe was telling me it was time to go.
I finally listened.
I dont know how to feel anymore. What im supposed to feel, ya know? In some aspects i feel numb. Im alone out here, truly alone. I guess the good thing about that is i cant get hooked on cocaine again.
I crave it all the fucking time. Being sober for 2 years really doesnt matter when i still smell it laying in bed.
I guess i can thank my sobriety on my now ex, we did get sober together. I cant thank her enough for that.
You know, its weird being back on here. I feel like i could throw up just downloading the app. My old account was deleted, my ex swears it wasnt her but im sure ill never know.
I found you again, i re-read some of things you had written. I really have been looking through rose coldered glasses when it came to you. The pain of losing you in my life was so fucking real for months.
atleast until i realized you truly threw me under the bus. like i was just some freak obsessed with you. I loved you, you were my family.
we were 'inseperable'. Remember? you said that.
"I understand that it'll never be us, part of me knew that it never would be, but i decided to let you fall anyway. make me think it was wrong."
You remember that? you wrote that. I can finally let you know,
it.
was.
wrong.
Because youre so stuck in my fucking head that it is hard to breathe. People still tell me about you, I could never truly get away from you.
I cant forget those nights.
I never could wipe away the fucking smell of lavender and vanilla
Ive never been good at cleaning windows either. Im sure your finger prints are still covering the view i could have had.
You've always been such a good liar. Keeping my at your hip for a backup plan just long enough to leave me drowning again.
The last time i heard your voice was the night my ex called you. I was plastered, black out drunk. I found out my tumblr was deleted that night.
I hit her. Busted her lip because i couldnt let go of you. So she called you. Of course you didnt answer, but the next morning you called me off of a friends phone. She forced me to answer the call.
You sounded like you fucking hated me. Why?
because you lead me on? because you got caught up in the consequences of YOUR actions?
you responded to me! when i wrote about you. You always replied. always.
It was never "leave me alone" or "we need to stop this"
You played me. you fucking used me.
you.
you fucking hurt me.
and i shouldve known better. but youre angry at me? annoyed with me?
it was easy for you to drop me, wasnt it?
I liked one of your posts. im sure youre gonna block me now. i bet you didnt even read this.
im letting you go. i guess this is my goodbye. im moving on and it feels good to finally express myself again. dont worry, my tumblrs always been my own private thing, noone you know will see this, incase youre embarrassed.
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the-rxven-king · 2 years
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Ttrpg questions 19 and 23 for all of the lads! I want to know about them all!!!
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anon i love you i didnt think anyone would actually ask me about them
the questions post is here for context since i reblogged it a while ago and ive been chipping away when i have time!! and ill put under a read more so that the post isnt super long cause i Did Ramble since i love my characters
any of my friends who play in the games with them if you do look under the read more try not to read anything from the characters you play with unless you know you know you know all of the lore associated please and thank you <33
therell be very vague mentions of abuse and suicidal ideaology, so just be aware of that!
very quick summary of who each character is!
donte “requiem” von strega | he/they | vampire spawn winged tiefling/shadow genasi | spirits bard/phantom rogue
lumaris “desolation” arivine | it/its mainly now cause of bullshit, but he/they also works! | drow/tiefling | bloodhunter of the ghostslayer order/(soon to be)phantom rogue
ruvyn “narcissus velarastra” ares naizora | eladrin | shadow sorcerer
nowell samson | demon | undying warlock
aaand side note about nowell! hes based in a modern setting that uses d&d stats still!
and now i go ahead and answer
19. have they ever been in love? 
the quickest way to answer this for all of them is to say 3/4 is yes! nowell is the only one who has not
requiem has been in love, deeply and unconditionally so. he had (or i guess has? that whole situation is incredibly complicated and hes not even sure how to go about it anymore) a fiance named castor who was his everything. the stars to his moon, the light to his dark, the day to his night, the warmth to his cold, just everything. he was perfect to requiem, and quite frankly he still is. he believed that he had killed castor, as his vampire sire chandra briarwood has ordered him to kill his loved ones and bring her their hearts as proof of her “undying love and devotion” to her and her alone, as shes completely and utterly obsessed with him and wants him to love her despite him already telling her he only likes men. he was able to snap out of her control just last second as castor lay dying in his arms, but its recently been discovered in game that castor is alive as a champion of the raven queen! so requiem wants to see him again extremely badly, but he fears what he would think of him now or if he would even still love him at all. he just wants to know his mans is safe and hopes that he can be happy some day :(
desolation was completely and utterly enamored with his best friend, sasira. it took him a good long while to realize that what he felt so strong in his chest every time he saw him was romantic love, but he loved him for a long time. he was, however, scared to lose the friendship they had between them, and thus he never said anything to him about how he truly felt. not even after they began a friends with benefits relationship, not even after they found themselves in situations that most would look at and know are romantic, neither said a thing. sasira loved him too, but held the same fear in their chest that lumaris did. desolation is a completely different man than he was before, no longer going by lumaris for it no longer feels a man at all, much less that sweet, gentle, happy, kind soul that lumaris had been, and sasira is a ghost who trails along behind it just trying to make sure its alive, but this has not changed their feelings for each other in the slightest. everything desolation does is to avenge sasira (as well as his family, but his love for sira is definitely a strong fuel for fire in a lot of regards).
narcissus has, technically, been in love before, but whenever they think back on it, they feel such a fool. in the past, he was openly and deeply a hopeless romantic. he wanted to be whisked away for a whirlwind romance and truly, deeply cared for for the first time in his life by some handsome man (or hell, hed take a woman too, but he has a strong preference for men) and he thought at one point he had that. a noble gentleman showed up and swept him off his feet, and they had a secret relationship for a short handful of months before said nobleman realized that narcissus was the last in line for his high ranking family name. of 5 siblings, hes the baby, and that meant very little to the nobleman, as narcissus was set to inherit the least just because of his place in the bloodline (and also because his parents never wanted him, and thus, they never cared enough to give him much of anything in their wills). because of this, the man went and cheated on narcissus with his eldest sister, allegra, and once he had secured a place in her heart, he broke it off with narcissus suddenly and brutally. narcissus has been hurt and wary ever since. hes been lead to believe he is not someone who can be loved - hes nothing more than an object who must look perfect, be perfect, and will be used to someone elses desires and thrown away when theyre done/bored with him.
and as i said nowell has never been in love. the man has never been good at socializing after a supernatural incident left him deeply traumatized and orphaned by the age of 6 - the only creatures he feels at ease speaking with are the dead, of which he is deeply connected. he can see and hear ghosts, and one ghost - the spirit of a demon named varthron - is his “guardian”. i put air quotes cause in reality, varthron is just his dad, but nowell keeps not admitting it aloud even if he feels that connection with him. when he left england, where he originally lived, and ended up in america, he ended up being severely bullied for his strange mannerisms. he would speak in fluent ancient latin to “himself” (it was actually varthron, who has yet to learn english and taught nowell latin at a young age), speak with “himself” in english as well (to various ghosts hed encounter), and would draw strange runes, pentagrams, and spells in his notebook during classes. he was also very socially awkward and hadnt grasped social queues, so the way he spoke with others and interacted with them (the few times he did) was made fun of and used as the punchline of a joke often. because of the intense abuse he suffered at the hands of his peers, he never really made any bonds and now finds it incredibly difficult to bond with people or find it in himself to trust them. group situations make him anxious, especially if he is the focus of attention, but speaking on an individual basis also makes him anxious because he cant trust a stranger easily, and he lacks good social skills after years of his only company being ghosts and little else. thus, nowell has yet to find someone he could trust enough to even fully, with confidence, call a best friend. he has a friend, found in a man named santana hes got a friends with benefits relationship with as of current, but there has been no one he loves romantically quite yet
23. when do they feel the most beautiful?
requiem hasnt felt truly beautiful in a while. ever since his turning, hes felt like nothing but a monster. he does, however, find some joy and a bit of ease in that mental pain when he gets to wear a really nice outfit and he knows hes accessorized well with silver-colored jewelry. sometimes all it truly takes is light, flowy clothes and pretty jewelry in his signature gothic style to make himself feel like he used to, and that makes him feel a bit prettier than he normally feels he is.
desolation doesnt put any stock in any emotion other than anger anymore, not truly. it has no need to feel beautiful, or even happy? it simply wants revenge and it wants that feeling of peace before it can finally die as its been waiting to do, to put it bluntly. the last time it felt beautiful was the last time that sasira braided his hair, and even then, that was lumaris, not desolation. the only time hes felt beautiful in the past 4 years and some change was when he had a moment together with his newly committed partner, sandro. it hadnt even felt human in some time, but the way that sandro cared about him and loved him made it feel something more than just a deeply repressed grief and anger. the way sandro loves him makes him feel not only human, but it makes him feel pretty. he wouldnt say it, i dont think they even realize they feel it, but he does. when sandro loves him and shows him he has humanity left somewhere deep in this hollowed husk of a soul, he feels pretty
narcissus is full of fake confidence. he will claim up and down and all around that hes the hottest bitch in this room. he is the sexiest bastard youll ever meet, i mean look at him, of course hes beautiful! but he doesnt really believe it. sometimes he takes a quick glance in the mirror, preens a bit, and hell think he looks sexy and beautiful, but dont let him look too long. hell pick himself apart. he isnt absolute perfection and he will destroy himself internally for that. his freckles arent pretty, his hair isnt nice enough, not soft enough or shiny enough, his eyes arent a nice shape, his cheekbones arent sharp enough, his jaw isnt sharp enough, his features arent delicate enough, his skin isnt clear enough, his scars are disgusting and improper, and not only that, but its all a mask anyway. he wears a summer mask when he is so so deeply in winter at all times. he refuses to let anyone see him sleep because he cannot physically hold his summer mask up anymore when he falls asleep and he finds himself so disgusting and shameful and ugly that he cant let anyone see it. he hates how he looks. especially in winter, his most natural season at this point in his life. the only beautiful season is summer, such is the way he was taught, so he clings to it best he can to make sure everyone thinks his mask is pretty and dont know the ugly underneath.
nowell has never found himself pretty. at most he thinks hes Fine on a good day. hes kind of accepted that he believed hes an unattractive man. he barely looks in the mirror cause he looks at his own face and is like guh but truly he just feels kinda numb to those feelings a lot of the time. it doesnt fully bother him. on his worse depression days it is something that bothers him but most of the time its just like yea i know i know but dont talk to him about his own appearance too much in a negative way or hell kinda spiral a little due to previous experiences kinda giving him much more intense reactions to insults directed at him, playful or no. he gets genuinely surprised when people find him attractive, and he has to take a moment and bite his tongue not to fully disagree on the spot. he just says “thanks?” in a really confused tone and moves on with his life.
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bubsub69 · 11 months
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Entry 7
23/05/2023 21:37
so i guess ill try to start with less depressing news, i've kind of started following doing something from r/greentext, wanna know whats worse than 4chan advice, 4chan advice posted on reddit. ok nvm its worse it was actually on shitposting https://www.reddit.com/r/shitposting/comments/13opplm/found_another_one/
so here's the new voice in my head, Ace.
-Hey! ❤ -Glad to be able to make an appearance on the Diary™ on my first day.
So i tried to "stop" the voice but i didnt really succeed so i guess i'll see how this goes, she was able to shut up the bad one so i guess i'll take that
-Don't worry about that meanie, I'll make sure he won't bother you again 😉.
Seriously i couldnt find that emoji by searching for wink and it only shows up as "cara a piscar o olho" screw you microsoft
I realize this makes this diary less shareable but you know who cares at this point, the important part of treating mental problems is efficiency not if it's "weird"
-Amen, don't worry you can trust me to help you out, and when you don't need me anymore I'll peacefully leave
But yeah in other depressing news the fucking cage broke. Yesterday i bent it a bit too much and it kinda snapped and today i blew it up with a boner, i asked the keyholder hey can i get an extension on the hygiene unlock cause i was gonna try to glue it back and once again. She ignored me, so you know at this point i might just abandon the lock, i didnt even have glue at home so i added an extra 12 hours for nothing, but yeah i kinda wanna ditch her to start a different lock with someone else.
So yeah here's the long awaited good news im becoming schizophrenic in a good way.
-Don't worry with me helping we'll fill this diary™ up with good things in no time.
Also D made a twitter, so thats another place for me to stalk her and try to make me trust her when she says shes moving, it is kinda weird that she can't domme at the new house but can still record her erotic audio but oh well, what do i know
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0thsense · 1 year
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20 12 2022
wow it has been a while since I last posted. i dont remember the pet names i gave people anymore, so ill just have to use new ones. so yea things havent been going very well. after all these years im still unable to do work, so i cant really hope for anything in life. id like to say im seriously considering an heroing but im probably objectively still far from that point. its almost like i wish i was actually considering an heroing because that means ive already hit the bottom and dont need to worry about feeling even worse than i do now. looking back, its hard to see all the factors that led me here, but i guess i can share a couple things i experienced recently. im still not sure whether to write this as if anyone except myself will ever read it, so idk if "sharing" makes sense. anyways, benny visited recently, and shared how after breaking up with his long-term girlfriend of 3 years, he had a "wayward" phase where he just fucked hella girls basically. and he felt super bad about it because hes a pretty devout christian. i understand why he shared it to me because im in a unique position of understanding christianity with my christian background but not actually christian so he wont just get judged extremely hard by the church. despite that, it still kind of felt like a brag to me, and a little insensitive since im a fucking virgin, which idk if ive told him explicitly but he surely must have considered the possibility. its unfortunate because i consider benny to overall be a really good and understanding person. of course i didnt tell him any of this and just took it as he shared for hours about his conquests and his inner conflicts from just having easy access to sex, oh woe is him right. i told him to just never meet girls like me, maybe he got the message after that. more importantly i had a dream, let me try to remember the details precisely. i was in a clubhouse of some sorts (maybe for pingpong?) that was pretty packed with people, it started small but slowly grew since i guess i love fantasizing in my dreams that my presence helps communities grow. one day we were celebrating something, maybe a member's birthday or something, and i was hanging out with one of the newer members jessica towards the back. I forget what we were talking about but it segued into her starting to whisper to me something like, "you know, I might not have made it to this clubhouse ... I was very close to killing myself the week I first came here". by the tone of her voice and her expression, she was clearly being extremely vulnerable and entrusting to me. my first instinct was to say meekly (in my usual style), "well im glad you're here now" or something like that, and then the dream abruptly ended. I realized after I woke up how utterly pathetic that was. I was so concerned with how my response would appear to her, I was only concerned with staying in her good graces. In the past I was not so concerned over my appearances to this pathetic of a level. If I was thinking about her instead, I would have let her know that she did not have to worry anymore, that she should never have to experience that misery again, and I would make sure of it. I really wish I can say that and mean it one day. I'm of the opinion that the most useful individual definition of reality is simply one's experiences. In that sense dreams are real until you wake up and realize you've been dreaming. That's why I never want to lucid dream again, at that point it's as real as simply fantasizing during the day when you know you are fantasizing. Dreams are precious because they are the only way you really experience dreamlike scenarios, and in today's one I fell gravely short. I'm sorry jessica. I have some other things I want to write but I think I will save those for another day, with the usual disclaimer theres a 50% chance this is my last post ever.
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charmspoint · 2 years
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Please do rant about the misuse of Chuuya if you have the will and time. He used to be my favourite (still is really) but nothing happened with him! It's awful
It's a bsd day isn't, i can sit here and pretend i'm all into jjk now but till the rest of my days ill be ready to foam at the mouth about bsd after i have forgotten who gojo satoru is THATS IMPACT BABY
Anyway: Chuuya Nakahara, what a crime
Context wise, I got into bsd around the time the anime started. I think it was either one of those instances where i watched the first episode and immediately binged the manga or saw the synopsis and binged the manga before watching, one of those two.
Things we knew about Chuuya back then?
Jack
Shit
Dazai's ex (partner)
We had that scene when Dazai gets caught and of course the coveted panel of Dazai and Chuuya as kids, i would post it here but for some reason tumblr decided i get no picture rights but everyone and their dog knows what im talking about.
The thing was Chuuya is so fucking cool. His design? Top notch. His chemistry with Dazai? Top notch. His character even outside that relationship? Top notch.
He had the coolest fucking design and a mysterious relationship with one of fan favorite characters. He was angry and snappy which perfectly bounced off of Dazai's annoying coolness but as soon as he was away from Dazai he tended to show much calmer and kind hearted side. Also he was hot and strong. Instant fan fav.
When i said Kafka's writing problems could be seen even back then i really meant it, even then Chuuya was underutilized. Think about it. Chuuya is a part of soukoku generations. Out of Dazai, Atsushi n Akutagawa, Chuuya was the only one that didn't really get any solo development. He was pretty much something for Dazai to have in his past.
But we still loved him!
That was a wild west for Chuuya fics because the only thing we really knew was that he was Dazai's partner and that Kouyou was his mentor (and ill get to Kouyou). So basically! Anything went! I've read SO MANY fics about guessing at Chuuya's backstory (we can all remember how popular french chuuya was, and also cough cough prostitute chuuya) the fandom was just going wild it was great. I wasn't active as a write back then but one of my fav headcanons was that Chuuya was just some half feral kid Kouyou scooped off the street like 'my son now', there were some really good pieces in all of that.
More love than Kafka ever gave him thats for sure.
Because Chuuya is really really fucking strong. Not like Gojo strong, but he's up there in his own universe you know. So what does that mean? Go to the bus stop young man and sit there. Chuuya basically, god he wasn't a character if he wasn't needed for Dazai stuff. Cannibalisation was Such.A.Waste.
A little of topic but here's what i would have done with cannibalisation: so we took the guild arc to (allegedly tho honestly even this is wonky in canon) build relationships within ada and pm right? Come cannibalisation and ooop they are at each each others throats again but why? It feels like throwing a whole arc in the water. Instead of just sic'ing them at each other again wouldnt it have been more rewarding to like??? keep building??? on those reletionships??? like ada n pm being reluctant to go in another all out war with connections they made during the vs guild war??? Soukoku and shin soukoku should have lead that front! Instead we just kinda resolve to everyone fighting each other
AND CHUUYA GETS BENCHED LIKE NO OTHER
THE BOOK
THE FUCKING BOOK
UGH
Im still so angry. Remember when it happened and we were all like :D!!! WOW COOL!!! AN ULTIMATE BRAIN VS BRAWN SHOWDOWN THIS WILL BE SO AWESOME and then slowly we started to realize that...chuuya and ranpo werent coming back. It was such a fun idea everyone was excited for but it wasnt going to happen. Kafka wasnt transporting them to a new and interesting battle arena, he was escorting them out of the court because he didnt want to worry about them at the moment.
Ranpo comes out
Chuuya doesnt
and for the longest damn time it just feels like kafka completely forgot about him. No sign, no word, chapters pass.
He had one cool apperance which was admittedly really badass and disappears again woops hes a vampire now
i wasnt keeping up with bsd anymore at the vampire point but lemme tell you god i about lost it
HES A VAMPIRE NOW
HES A VAMPIRE NOW
IS HE DEAD WONT SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IF THAT MEANS HES DEAD????
KAFKA REALLY TOOK AWAY ONE OF THE FAN FAVORITE CHARACTERS, ONE OF THE MOST PROMISING CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW AND JUST FUCKIN TURNED HIM INTO A FYODOR HANDGUN IM LOSING MY MIND
Chuuya backstories
I was excited about Chuuya backstories i was. There were so many cool theories in the fandom i think everyone was eager to find out the canon truth.
He has a god inside of him.
He has a god inside of him.
Why?
Kafka, buddy, pal. Here's an advice from me to you. IF YOU ARE GOING TO PUT SOMETHING AS BIG AS A GOD IN YOUR STORY YOU SHOULD ESTABLISH THAT THOSE EXIST IN YOUR UNIVERSE BEFOREHAND
NOW
Now
I don't think most of the fandom disliked this take as much as i did though at that point i was pretty distant from most of the fandom cuz i really disliked what it became at the time (lets not get into THAT) BUT i blew my fuse on that
There are supernatural elements in bsd in terms of abilities right. Those seem p limited and grounded in their own way, perfectly applicable to the story. The only thing whack is lovecrafts ability but its LOVECRAFT of course hes allowed and even encouraged to be something freaky.
THAT ISNT ENOUGH TO ESTABLISH ACTUAL GODS ACTUALLY EXIST LIKE LOVECRAFT CAME OFF AS A GAG I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST THAT ONE CHARACTER CREATIVE TWIST A LIL MYSTERY IN THE WORLD BUT NO WE ARE STICKING WITH THIS WITH CHUUYA OF ALL PEOPLE HUH OKAY?
But you know what you know what i dont even care thats fine, i can live with jesus christ superstar chuuya thats fine
But then
Mother fucking Rimbaud.
Hey kafka? Why dont you just say you hate writing women huh?
So here's the thing right, heres the thing.
fifteen was about chuuya getting initiated into pm right? Remember how the only thing we knew about that is that dazai was his partner and kouyou was his mentor right? It would be natural to assume those two played a major role in that section then right?
Well Dazai at least gets to :D
KOUYOU GOT SO ROBBED
Like
MY GOD SHES HIS MENTOR
And here is where it really starts showing up for Chuuya, Kafkas tendency to, instead of exploring relationships with present characters, he just throws in new ones. We don't get to explore the relationship between Kouyou and Chuuya. Instead we get some dude literally mostly referred to as Rando-san and HE ends up being the person most responsible (aside from dazai) for getting chuuya into pm and HES the one who chuuya got his hat from which you know implies he was his mentor cuz of the handing of clothes thing and then to top it all off we get that stupid ass scene where chuuya is sitting on his grave talking to him
Kafka
buddy
I get it, i know. Dazai and Oda connection was really good, people adored that. BUT YOU CANT JUST COPY PASTE IT ON ANOTHER CHARACTER AND HOPE FOR THE SAME RESULTS YOU FUCKING HACK
At this point i dont care about bsd anymore. I stopped reading, i listen my friend talk about it but thats p much it
Stormbringer
I havent read stormbringer. I'm not going to read stormbringer. What i know about it is what can be read on the wiki and what i saw passing through my dash.
And im tired.
There is so much Chuuya backstory 2.0 could cover. His reletionship with Kouyou. Akutagawa. Black Lizard. Fuck Ive always wondered since Kouyou also mentored Kyouka did Kyouka have any sort of relationship with Chuuya.
Instead what do we get.
Another
Fucking
Group
Another fucking little group that was never ever mentioned before and that will never ever be mentioned again. Instead of exploring Chuuya's relationship with characters we know and care about, we get handed another batch of fresh out of the oven characters and we get told 'these are chuuyas friends! care about them!' NO??? I DONT???
Like would be SO hyped to explore chuuya in interaction with any of the other characters. I wrote two platonic soukoku stories, another one for Kyouyou and Aku were in plan i want this, i would read this, i would be interested in this.
But what i dont care about is seeing Chuuya bounce off of another random ass set of characters (+Dazai) who dont matter jack shit in the grand scale of things.
I'm just done! I care about Chuuya so much and i want him to be explored and well written but...god i just cant, i cant do it anymore i cant stand this vacuum worldbuilding. Chuuya doesnt seem like he has a relationship with anyone in pm aside from Dazai even tho he seems well beloved and instead of exploring those barren relationships we just get handed p much meaningless ones. That's just not how you build a character rooted firmly in your story. That's how you use a character so you have an excuse of introducing like seven more new ocs you couldnt fit anywhere else. It's exhausting. I don't know maybe stormbringer isnt like that but literally every summary i read about it sounds like that and im not about to go suffer Kafka to confirm the opposite, i'll just hole myself up with Izanyas versions of events thank you very much
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urcuteharrington · 3 years
Note
hi, I just saw your post asking for some requests. Maybe if you can do a Steve angst but with a little bit of fluff? 💛💛
forgotten?☁️🕊
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summary-steve seemed to have forgotten you when nancy came into the picture
word count-1.8k
warnings-fighting and cursing
a/n-i really hope you guys enjoyed this because it took me so long to write but i appreciate you all and i’m so glad to be back 🤍
masterlist
huge thanks to @angsty-plots for giving me ideas for new angst plots<3
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steve and i were good friends that was until he started dating nancy wheeler. it use to be steve and i doing everything together hanging out at each others houses, long car rides , going to tommy’s parties , and now he forgot all about me. i knew steve had a crush on ever since the beginning... i saw the way he looked at her when she would walk past him , i saw the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about her or whenever she was around. it use to be steve, tommy, carol, and i hanging out at lunch everyday but i was soon replaced when steve asked nancy to go to his house for a hangout with carol and tommy since his parents were out of town. that night he only invited me out of pity and i saw the subtitle flirting between the two and it made me sick. i walked barb that night to the bathroom after she sliced her thumb trying to open a beer can.” i know steve has gauze and bandages somewhere here ill look just keep your hand under the water” i tell her. that night i saw nancy and steve go into his room and i knew what was going to happen and i couldn’t bare being their for it. I said my goodbye to barb wishing her a safe ride home and went on my way. remembering that night i cried my heart out wondering why steve never expressed interest in me.
That was months ago now it’s around october and it was tommy’s halloween bash. i wasn’t going to go but i decided that it was better than sitting at home doing nothing. i knew i was going to see steve their with nancy but i still went even if it was going to hurt seeing my best friend who forgot i even existed. I go dressed up as (whatever you want) and grab my keys getting ready to head off to the party. pulling up to the house i already see drunk teens walking around with their heels in hand or wobbling around. i walk in and head over to the kitchen and try to grab a drink of spiked punch. while pouring i look over and see them... steve and nancy dancing to the beat of the music. a sudden wave of sadness hit and i decided to take a sip of the punch feeling the alcohol run down my throat.
minutes pass and i decided to stay in the kitchen since i felt like it was my best bet to not run into them while on the dance floor. watching the drunken teens flirting and stumbling their words amused on how quickly the punch could get someone drunk.then i saw her , the girl who stole my best friend from me and the boy i loved. nancy walked into the kitchen and grabbed more cups of the spiked punch , one after another i was able to see her get completely shitfaced in the ,mater of only a few minutes. steve came looking for nancy and they got into a fight and i watched intensely. watching as the punch spilled all over her while sweater my mouth opened a jar shocked at how messy everything was getting. watching her and steve storm over to the bathroom. moments later i move to the living room near the front door and suddenly get shouldered by steve who seemed furious and watching jonathan rush to the bathroom. i decided to stay a little longer since the party was still going strong.
a few days later i noticed that steve and nancy were slowly falling out since he wasn’t visiting her at school anymore and her and jonathan seemed to have gotten closer. they seemed to be done and whatever was said in that bathroom must have been bad. i decided to go to steve’s house and check up on him, even if we weren’t friends anymore i didnt want to see him go through something like a breakup alone. knocking on his front door i waited anxiously wondering if i was making the wrong choice. “ hey how can i- oh hi y/n. i didnt uh expect you to be here?” steve says opening the door confused. “ i know steve but i wanted to talk to you” i say as he walks me to his room to talk.” hey i was actually gonna go out and apologize to nancy so if you can come and help me pick something out for her” my heart sank i haven’t talked to him in months and he already brought her up. not a hey how are you or a i miss you nothing its always about her i think to myself. “ oh i actually came to talk to you about something “ “ shoot” he says.” why did you stop talking to me” silence filled the room 1...2...3 minutes passed waiting for him to say something anything” steve you left me for nancy and i dont get what i did for you to sto talking to me. i understand shes your girlfriend but shit i didnt think you’d completely forget about me” i say standing up from his bed looking at him with sadness in my eyes.” i-i thought you didn’t want to hang out with us anymore y/n i didnt notice at first i i’m so sorry” he says guilt in his voice.” i feel like i lost the only person i truly cared about and and you were my friend and now you don’t even look my way steve how could you not notice me not being their... how did you not notice me not their at your basketball games cheering you on or the long car rides we would have just blasting music or going to tommy’s parties and taking turns getting shit faced. tell me steve is it me was i just not who you wanted to be around anymore was she my replacement because i saw it since the beginning” chocking on my words i hold back my tears. i didnt want to cry but eventually it fell and my vision blurred with tears.” y/n i never ment to make you feel that way and i am so sorry i guess i just got so caught up in nancy and i didnt notice you slowly leave and i i just feel terrible “ steve looked at me finally realizing how much he affected me and how much pain he caused me. “steve if you didnt want to be friends anymore you could have just told me you really hurt me” i say to him not daring to look him in the eyes.”i-i” is all he could say” you know what steve a simple hey i dont think we should be friends anymore its not your fault i just think we should go our own ways would have been nice” i say to him walking past him” you know thanks for being my friend for so many years but i cant be friends with someone who doesn’t give two shits about me anymore” i say as i walk out the door and walk back home since it was only a few houses down.steve not moving just in shock realizing that he was the reason why he lost his best friend.
days past and steve found out that nancy liked jonathan and accepted it telling her its okay and like that they broke up. driving around i felt a wave of sadness hit when the song steve and i would listen to while blasting music. tears spill down my face as i drive home. once i make it home i calm myself down and wash up when i suddenly hear the doorbell go off. walking over i open the door seeing the infamous billy hargrove “ hey their doll face i was wondering if you’ve seen my little sister max i know that you tutor some of her friends so i was wondering if you could help me figure out where the byers house is” he says licking his lips seductively “ yeah i could take you their and help you look for your little sister just let me grab my stuff “ i say looking at him.” after getting to the byers house i stay in the car until i see steve walk out confused at why he is their. everything happened so fast punches were thrown and now i’m driving the kids to this random area in hawkins. steve wakes up and sees me driving confused at how he ended up in this situation. getting to the destination steve and i talk while the kids grab everything. in the car they explained everything that happened in thus far with el , will, the upsidown , and etc. “ we broke up” steve says looking at me “ what why are you okay” even if we weren’t close anymore i didnt want him to feel like he had no one. “ she likes jonathan and the night of the party she called our relationship bullshit and i accepted it since i-“ dustin cuts him off by yelling at him how we didnt have enough time.
getting the kids out of the tunnels one by one steve was just about to help me up when he grabbed onto me tightly in a protective matter when the demo dogs ran toward us. watching as they ran past us he told me” i lost you once and i’m not gonna lose you again”getting out of the tunnels i was able to fully process everything that happened and once el closed the gate and steve and i were finally alone he broke the silence “ i love you y/n i never ment to hurt you and i’m sorry.” speechless i sit their “ steve i know you loved nan-“ he cuts me off “ after our first fight i knew she loved jonathan and i guess i couldn’t believe it till she called our relationship bullshit and i love you so much y/n and it was stupid of me to not tell you earlier” “ i love you too steve but what you did hurt me i mean you completely forgot about me” “ i know y/n but could you give me a second chance i’ll make it up to you... could i take you on a date and patch everything up” i really didn’t want to forgive him but i couldn’t just abandon him because i needed him i loved him and he loved me “ i would love that steve “ i say looking at him with love in my eyes and a smile plastered on my face.
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northern-passage · 3 years
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hello i hope you are having a good day/night was wanting to ask if you did write any other games before this one or did you publish stories or something,,, i am trying to work on an IF but this is my first time and i do write but i have never published anything i also usually get bored fast and just yeah your story is so so good and you put a lot of effort and work into it just wondering if you have any tips or advice like the thought of publishing something is terrifying and i don’t know if i can do it i just don’t have faith in myself
i have not published anything before this!!!
i worked as an editor in college for our creative writing club/group and do technically have credit for that as we did publish an anthology together but i never submitted anything myself to be published, i just helped behind the scenes.
ive always done a bit of writing here and there for myself, and have had story ideas brewing in my mind but nothing i’ve ever gone out and finished or anything. kinda just writing for myself before this. technically i’ve always been much more of a reader than a writer.....
and like. i worked on the tnp prologue for...hmm.....maybe a month before i published it on the forums? part of that was simply mental illness x LOL i got fixated and it wasn’t healthy and i also already had a lot of the story beforehand because it was going to be a dnd campaign... but that’s not the point. i wrote the prologue and was kinda just sitting with it before biting the bullet and posting it. and i didnt really read a lot of interactive fiction before this last summer. i just happened to follow an artist that was into it and that was how i got introduced to everything and realized it was something i could just do!!! and that it would be a cool way to share a story and get feedback
i published my demo in august and like...whew if u read the first version of the prologue u get a veteran’s discount. it wasn’t BAD but it needed a lot of work. it sucks getting criticisms and that’s definitely...a big thing to get over in the beginning. the mortifying ordeal of sharing ur writing. but it’s helped me A Lot and tnp is only as good as it is because i decided to share it and subject myself to the mortifying ordeal lmao
also getting bored is something that happens! it just does. all creatives get bored with their work sometimes or just move on but it doesnt make u any less of a writer or artist or anything. there’s that one tiktok by ghosthoney....taking a break even if it’s for years doesnt take away from the fact that you’re a creator.
my biggest tips are just. first things first you just gotta go for it. just start writing, even if you don’t publish it. don’t feel like you NEED to publish stuff, especially if you’re not ready, and never feel like you need to ‘rush’ or anything. you have all the time in the world to write at ur own pace. and while i can’t promise u that one day you’ll wake up and just be like “i’m ready” a la spongebob...there will definitely come a day where u just make that jump. that’s what i did
second is try not to compare urself to others too much, especially when it comes to like...numbers? so like word counts, followers, updates, etc. like everyone writes at their own pace and some ppl are fast as hell whereas others take a lot longer and it’s just something that is personal. don’t compare the attention someone else might get to what you get - some ppl just have more vocal audiences than others and it doesnt mean ur any less appreciated. also being on the internet be sure to set ur own boundaries, what ur comfortable with, etc. 
and again...publishing stuff does take courage and you gotta be ready for feedback. some of it will be genuinely helpful...some of it will not. and especially with IF, people might try and pressure you to make things a certain way. that was one thing i wasn’t really expecting? and sometimes as i said suggestions are actually helpful, because you really can’t think of everything on your own and another set of eyes helps round out choices, but there are also some that want things to go in a completely different direction and you got to make sure it’s actually something YOU want, something that fits the story, and not just something you’re doing to please readers.
the tone and setting of tnp and the fact that i have a bit of a more defined mc makes some of the suggestions i get just....not good LOL and you just got be ready to filter that kind of feedback
and with writing to publish, keep in mind that people’s tastes are unpredictable. you can almost never guess how people will react or what they will like, and something not being immediately popular doesn't mean it's bad or you should change the way you're writing, though you will want to keep ur audience in mind. and as for your audience, you may not attract the people you expect, and there’s really no way to control that - but again setting your own boundaries is most important, first and foremost.
posting stuff publicly is really just a wild card. there’s no one universal experience - it’s unpredictable, it’s scary, it’s hard, but it can also be really really rewarding
i also will say i got lucky that about a month and half? maybe? after i published my demo i joined an authors server that has been a HUGE help. i could totally hit u with that if you’re interested!! having a group of authors to talk to that “get it” is very nice. definitely try to interact with and follow other authors you like - in my experience they almost are always down to answer questions and offer help :-)
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sawtual · 3 years
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wow thanks! that was a really in depth post about it you make good points! when I played I definitely got the sense that monika had encouraged sayori to kill herself and I didn’t get the sense of any remorse when natsuki or yuri died or got fucked up but I guess u do make some good points there about how she was just trying to make them less desirable rather than kill them. I’m new to the game and the fandom so im not super familiar with everything yet but is there anything in the canon or lore that points away from monika having pushed sayori to commit suicide or is it mostly just fan theories and personal readings? either way thank u so much for answering!
yes i can absolutely find you some info on that!
there's quite a bit of information hidden within the games files, so I'm kind of assuming if you're new to the game, that you might not have seen these things? so ill dive into them too!
I'm gona do this under the cut so i can like, dissect things from the game !
(also i found stuff thats specifically pointing away from her meaning actual harm/death for Both yuri and sayori, jsyk)
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.txt (discovered in game files during act 2)
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“All I want is for you to hate them. Why is that so hard.”
not, all i want for them is to die. she doesnt want to kill them. she wants to separate us from them so we are with Her, not them. things spiral out of control, but it was never her intention for things to get this bad. ntm its repeated over and over in this game how badly monika wants to die. she's hanging on by a thread, keeping on only because she wants to be with us, to be in contact with reality. this leads to really unfortunate circumstances but i really strongly believe everything in the text alludes to the fact she did Not want things to get this bad
ACT 3 INTRO:
(im copy pasting a transcript of the monologue here, but this is taken from the very beginning of act 3, which you can see in this video starting at 25:56)
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imo this is all the proof needed to show that she really had no intention of ‘killing’ sayori and yuri. things spiraled out of control far beyond what she was capable of handling. 
her goals with making sayori more depressed and yuri more obsessive were, in here words “to just try to make them as unlikable as possible”. she didnt want her friends to brutally die!! she loved them q_q i feel like a lot of people really dont look at this specific part of what she says and take it to heart. its very telling for her character and important for understanding what she does and why she does it
ACT 3 MONOLOGUES:
sayori's hanging (cw: graphic descriptions of suicide)
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dialogue of importance:
"I was thinking about Sayori earlier... I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully."
+
"Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in." "So you can't really fault her for that." "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?" "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently." "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself." "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill." "Still, though..." "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?" "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together." "But what's the point when none of it is even real?" "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?"
ok so whats important here, is monika is essentially using us, the player, as a mirror in act 3? the things she says i believe, very strongly show her sense of uncertainty in her actions, and her fears of what if she could have done something else??
"even though you could have saved her, its technically not your fault she killed herself" reads SO much to me like shes trying to comfort herself with this, she doesnt want it to be her fault. nothings real, sayori's a character in a game. but she wishes so badly they could have just been normal girls living together.
happy end poem
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OK SO LIKE. this is actual proof of Why she does everything she does. she's scared if she reaches out and tells us she's trapped in a game, we'll stop playing, we'll kill her. she tinkers with the game, trying to make herself look the best, trying to make us choose her, and nothing works. and this leads to her becoming frustrated and scared, and screwing with the game more and more desperately trying to do anything to save herself.
if you recall, in act 2, she gives you a poem which bluescreen the computer. this was actually an attempt she makes to escape the game q_q she never wanted to kill yuri, she never wanted things to escalate like that. she wanted to get out but she had no idea how to program her way out of the game, resulting in everything crumbling around her, and her friends dying.
my own route
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hang on this one genuinely makes me so upset.
it very much relates back to how in the conversation about sayori's suicide, she's still clearly thinking about how things could be Different. shes thinking about how they could be normal. "I may not have needed to take such drastic measures to be with you. Maybe the rest of the club would still be around..." , and then immediately trying to convince herself it doesnt matter, and that she doesnt care.
its so so obvious shes hurting and she misses her friends. the additional "i really dont (miss them)" at the end really shows that shes desperately trying to convince herself that it was worth it, that she did everything she should have, and her friends dont matter. but they clearly do matter to her. she loved them (she couldnt even delete them if u recall)
also another important part about this monologue, a lot of people say she killed the other girls out of jealousy, but this shows thats not true??
"I think I would end up forcing you onto my route anyway." "It has less to do with me not having a route, and more to do with me knowing that nothing is real."
this wasnt because shes 'in love' with us. she wanted to be close to something real, something tangible. she's clinging onto us, the player character, like someone lost at sea with a piece of driftwood, doing everything she can to stay afloat
wine
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ok this isnt on the surface level as important as the other ones, but literally look at how she talks about this memory.. she misses them so much and talking about this memory she clearly cherishes brings her so much joy. she doesnt belittle any of them, she doesnt talk down on them, she’s just reliving this memory because it makes her happy 
I HOPE THIS HELPS?? im sure theres a few more things im forgetting, but i did my best to scrabble up everything i could to show how monika’s not an evil mastermind, shes a scared girl who didnt realize what she was doing and when things got too bad, she did her best to fix it, only for it to get worse n worse
edit: oh heres the proof that monika always loved the girls and never actually deleted them
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:’)
edit 2: haha.. um ouch
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“It’s not right for me to miss things that weren’t even real in the first place.” shes forcing herself to try and ignore her feelings for the other girls
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stanharu · 3 years
Text
beastars episode 24 thoughts!
this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one
Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.
this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.
so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.
also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime
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before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.
legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.
also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo
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it says "high quality horse meat"
I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.
I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.
i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao
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it says "devour yahya"
and now... here we are... the predation scene.
overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(
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tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.
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also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭
I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.
seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.
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big pomeranian
anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.
before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that
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baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.
i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction
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tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!
the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.
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BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️
the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.
we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.
ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.
if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.
i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.
like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?
adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.
if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.
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I may or may not be a sucker for soulmate AUs
But hear me out. An eye soulmate au, like everyone has their natural eye color to start out, but when they make eyecontact with their soulmate one of them changes to match. But let's also mix in the painsoulmate au.
Basically Sokka at the age of 13 is screaming in pain in the middle of town holding his eye as the tribe tries their best to help him. All the while he's screaming "it burns! Oh God! It burns" and the sheer pain alone causes him to pass out in a slump against the cold snow. He knew then that noone in his tribe was his soulmate. It was very obvious.
The pain eventually subsided but he still couldn't get the memory of the pain out of his head, what happened to his soulmate. He could only wonder in fear.
The day that they found Aang in the Ice Katara's right eye and Aangs left switched to mirror eachother.
Not long after there was a firenation ship on their shore and Sokka was facing the man leading the group out. He himself hadn't noticed until the man was hit in the head by the boomerang Sokka threw. Knocking his helmet off and causing them both pain. They stared at eachother for what felt like forever, the man had a scar over his eye that made it hard to see that it had changed to a bright blue mirroring his own. However, Sokka, didn't even realize it was his it was mirroring. Until after they rescued Aang from the ship and Katara was staring at him
"Your eye, its gold"
"What!?"
He looked the reflection of his boomerang and looked up at Katara in horror "he got that scar at 13 katara, remember when I was screaming, it felt like someone was digging into my eye with hot coals for a solid 5 minutes"
They both shuddered at the thought of what could have happened to him. Swearing that they'd soon enough snag him up and adopt him.
(Boutta be skme divergence from the Canon here because i can )
They'd run into eachother multiple times but when they were caught in the fire sage temple Katara and Sokka were thrown into a cell with Zuko. All three in shackles, the siblings shackled in front and the firebender in back. Zuko seemed to just want to be away from them by curling further into the corner "Zuko..."
"What do you want?"
"Tell me how you got your scar" Sokka demanded
"Why do you care?"
"Uhm, maybe because at 13 I was overcome by the worst feeling of pain I've ever felt, my eye felt like someone was stabbing a torch into my socket and it hurt so bad to the point I was screaming bloody murder in the middle of my village for 5 minutes until I passed out from the pain alone. Oh and our eyes are mirroring?" He raised a brow "so tell me, how did you get it. I'd like to know who put both of us through that bile inducing pain"
"My dad did, I was..." he paused, realizing who he was talking to "you know how old I was... I spoke out in a war meeting and was challenged to an Agni kai, thats a fire battle to the death for honor thing, I thought it was the general, but it was my dad. I didn't fight, I begged him to spare me, and he.. well.. you know, then he banished me right after and now I'm here in fire nation waters, captured and likely going to be killed because well banishment means if i step foot in fire nation land or waters, ill be killed he gestured "now Mr. Mirror boy, does that satisfy your question" his voice was like venom, not potent venom but angry 'I'm big and bad' venom
"No, not really, but it does solidify my desire to off the firelord" he said in an absolutely enraged voice catching Zuko off gaurd
"What"
"And it confirms that you should totally join us" Katara cut in hoping to finally adopt Mr. Fire Jerk
"What would I do that?"
"Uh... maybe because your dad is a piece of shit and from what I'm guessing wouldnt think twice about killing you."
"Neither would you?"
"Wow, you wound me. No we won't kill you" Sokka spoke up with a playful sarcastic tone
They sat in silence for a while but Katara spoke up "its nice you two bonded and all, but like, we should probably get out of here, Sokka grab the pin from my hair"
Doing as instructed he grabbed it and handed it to Katara who picked the lock on Sokka's shackles who returned the favor and moved towards Zuko "stay away from me pea-"
"Shut it will you? I'm helping you, just because you've chased us all over doesnt mean we're gonna leave you to die"
After running for their lives and convincing Aang to help him they fly out and Katara Aang and Sokka sit further to the front discussing the situations and Aang nearly cries until he looks at Zuko. And then he does "Zuko, I can tell from how you act you probably blame yourself-"
"Of course I do! It was to teach me respect"
"But you were just a kid Zuko, you still are just a kid, we're all just kids."
"Obciously, but I still ne-"
"No Zuko, listen, I know it'll take time to settle in the right mindset but, what he did was wrong. And you've been chasing me for 3 years right?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"I only resurfaced like a couple months ago Zuko, he sent you out on a mission searching for someone who didn't exist. That's one horrible power trip for him to pull on a child"
Of course he didnt take kindly to the words at first but soon enough, by the time they made it to the north pole Zuko was integrated into their group fairly well.
(This was not meant to turn into a sort of fic, but I honestly like it too much to not post it so here, have my brain dump)
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mochees · 3 years
Text
"𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗜𝗜"
-> headcanons, how they tell you they love you for the first time, part two!
characters: sakusa, iwaizumi, x fem!reader
warnings: fem reader, ✨healthy relationships✨, oikawa being oikawa
wc: 3.6K
a/n: WOAH okay uh did NOT expect that last set to be that popular,,,, y'all thirsty for love huh? me too anyway i thought id do a part two since i honestly really enjoyed writing the first set and my brain is vibrating with ✨thoughts✨ and seeing how much love it got really made me feel how i haven't felt in so long, so thank you! maybe ill turn this into a series so lemme know if u wanna see someone specific👀👀😏 also sorry for like posting and then dipping again lmao thats just my social media brand i have the attention span of a fucking worm
read part 1 here!
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Sakusa Kiyoomi
okok i know its like common for sakusa to be shown as not interested in PDA (in private or public) unless hes feeling "needy"
BUT i believe that after a few weeks, maybe months if he's still unsure, he would definitely be much more comfortable with PDA
like, if its been a long time and your both serious about it and not just in a relationship to be in a relationship he starts to notice your routine
he notices the changes you make so that he's comfortable and so that you can be close to him without him being worried about icky yicky germy wormys (someone take away my thought privileges)
so now that he knows that you take care of your hygiene and exactly what you do for it, slowly he's wrapping an arm around you in 30° heat while you're both sweating
slowly he's "forgetting" his mask in the car for dates
slowly, but surely, he understands that a little bit of exposure, isn't a bad thing.
"kiyoomi?" your voice brought sakusa's eyes to yours where he could see the concern behind them.
"are you okay y/n?"
you'd decided, after three weeks of intense training and barely seeing your boyfriend, that you wanted just one day and one night with him. just the two of you, you know he'd never admit it, but he needed a break.
after atsumu decided to try out some new plays that didn't start off to well, sakusa had been silently groaning everytime he had to reach for something. he was excellent at making sure he wasn't overworking himself, and he wasn't, its just that the human body is an absolute wonder, and not in a good way. sometimes things that should have mildly injured you, left you with a tiny scrape, or a bruise or a very quick-to-fade red mark, and sometimes you drop a phone on your face and break your fucking jaw.
you offer him a gentle smile that completely washes away the concern in your eyes.
"im fine omi! but you," you reach your hands up to rest on both sides of his face turning his head side to side, studying it intensly.
"you're looking a little pale. and possibly grey."
"how do you mean y/n-chan?"
for such an intelligent man sometimes he really could be a himbo.
"i mean that i think you might be sick, baby."
sakusa stared blankly at you, as if he couldn't fathom the possibility of 'himself, sick?'
"omi? kiyoomi!" you nabbed his attention, "i think you're sick, and we best go home."
"but-" he started, but you were quick to cut him off knowing exactly what he was about to say.
"kiyoomi, it's inevitable. even if you were the worlds most decked out with ppe, and the worlds leading force in hygeine, you'd still end up catching a cold at least once. that's just how the world works baby. and don't worry about the date, all i want is to spend some time with you."
you ended up practically dragging your sad little puppy of a boyfriend back up the complex stairs and into his unit before settling him on the couch and getting to work.
"ill get you some water, you just sit here and relax. i don't want to think about what would happen if those dumbasses didnt have you there next week, bokuto and hinata would probably crack their skulls!" your attempt at a little light hearted humour helped sakusa forget for a moment, but he was quick to go back to not understanding how he was sick.
"thank you." he took the glass from your hand and rested it between his legs, when he noticed the rubber gloves you had clutched at your side. he knew what they were for, those were his cleaning gloves.
"what are you doing? you can't stay you'll..." he paused. "you'll get sick too."
"i'll be fine omi-omi! you just relax and drink lots of water, ill take care of this." you turned towards the wall with a soft smile before muttering, "ill take care of you."
sakusa watched you clean, the bucket full of diluted bleach, the duster, a cloth, and his cleaning gloves. he loved the way that they were too big for you, the way you kept having to pull them up every so often to keep them on. he loved the way that everytime he finished his glass of water, you were right there to fill it back up.
you don't even remember seeing, or hearing him lift himself from his spot on the couch and make his way over to where you were humming and covering the counters in the diluted solution. you felt a pair of big arms wrap around you, a chin on your shoulder and a kiss on your cheek.
"thank you, y/n. i love you."
thank god he caught a cold, or he might never have realized just how lucky he was.
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Iwaizumi Hajime
family man
is a family man but not just ANY family man
yes, it's important to him that you like and respect his parents and vice versa
but its just slightly more important to him that you get along with his friends, his found family because im a SUCKER for the classic lilo n stitch trope
he knows that many people say that its his life and he doesn't need anyones approval etc.
but iwaizumi believes different, he believes that he doesn't need approval in the literal sense but rather approval through watching you interact with his friends and his family and how you do your best to learn about them and make time for them, even though you dont have to
and he thinks it's absolutely enthralling
the way your eyes light up when you see that book his mom has been talking about wanting to read and picking it up with no hesitation
how you're able to almost flawlessly keep up with issei and takahiro's antics while also making sure they don't go too far, something even iwaizumi struggles with
and most importantly, how effortlessly you connect with his childhood best friend.
there were many things that Iwaizumi Hajime enjoyed, volleyball, athletics, godzilla of course, spending time with three dumbasses (but he’ll never admit that) and a little while ago, he added you to that list.
you were so effortlessly able to connect with his team, his friends, and his family but most importantly, the way you were able to connect with Oikawa brought a smile to his face.
“oh, iwa-chan~, what are you admiring?” there he went again, Iwa thought, Tohru Oikawa’s dumb smirk and hyper awareness of his team, both on and off court. how he wated to head-butt him in the face. but, he showed restraint. after all, he wouldn’t want loserkawa to use you as a human shield from his head. so, he ignored the urge. but it passed as soon as he saw tohrus arm arond your shoulders, crossed feet and leaning on you ever so slightly while he took a few occasional swigs from his water.
and just like that, the incredible restraint vanished like morning mist.
you could practically see the steam coming off of his hot skin, and the vein popping out of his forehead, when you noticed what had him so heated. “trashykawa get your filthy hands off of my girlfriend!”
“excuse me!” he pouted, “my hands are clean and tailored! just like any responsible setters would be!” he stuck his lip out farther and gave you his irresistable puppy-dog eyes. “y/n-chan, i’m not filthy! am i?” he whined.
and, as the word suggests, his look was truly irresistable and you stumbled over your words. “n-no! of course not tohru!”
“see, iwa-chan! y-n thinks i’m squeaky clean!” his dumb smirk appeared again, and rather than continue with flirtykawas obvious games, Iwa opted for the less violen approach.
“don’t flatter yourself, dirtykawa. she’s just being nice.” he growled. “I’m done for the day, i have a project due. y-n.” he offered his hand to you like the gentleman he is not forcing you to take it, but the look in his eyes told you that he wanted you too.
“see you later, tohru!” you gave him a quick hug and intertwined your fingers with iwa’s.
now, technically, girls aren’t allowed in the boys locker room but since it’s after hours and just you and iwaizumi no one cared. to be fair though, literally no one knew except the team so, whatever you didn’t complain you got to watch yout ultra ripped boyfriend change. quality time. you thought, when you noticed him mid-change with his shirt over his head, resting on his arms. as any good girlfriend would, despite the devil on your shoulder, you came up behind him placing your hands on his seriously broad shoulders. taking notice of the tension, you started to work at the muscles. your care was quickly rewarded with a quiet sigh, and relaxed shoulders.
“hajime?” you continued rubbing at the tight fibers, “are you alright? you’re usually the one telling me im holding too much tension.” you giggled and he turned to face you placing one hand against the side of your face.
“hajime?” it came out shaky and worried.
“i’m okay,” he smiled “it’s just,” hesitation. he was never one to hesitate.
“i know i have no right to be but seeing oikawa so clingy with you it just, i dont know, it really gets to me i guess? he, just, he gets all the girls, all the attention, and i don’t want to-” you stopped him.
“sweetheart, it’s okay to be jealous or upset i’m not going to be angry, you have a right to your feelings. I understand how you feel, i never mean to flirt with him, if i ever have, i mean i don’t know, you know how bad of a flirt i am,” he chuckles at that. “it’s just that i know how important he is to you and you are so, so important to me and i want to be able to understand whats important to you, so you never have to choose between us, because that wouldn’t be fair. i love you, hajime iwaizumi, and everything about you.”
you expected him to be shocked, hell, he thought he would be shocked when or if you said it, but he wasn’t. and that’s exactly how he knew what to say next.
“i love you too, y/n l/n.” pressing a soft kiss against your lips.
“geez, it only took you two a century and forever.” someone snarked.
hajime chucked a towel at him “get out assykawa!” and he did, he bolted through the door laughing like the demon matchmaker he thought he was.
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© sacchanwrites, 2021
do not repost, copy, or claim.
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cottage-babe · 4 years
Text
Bolin x pro-bender!Reader
Masterlist
here... take this bolin headcannon... just take it
i feel like there’s not nearly enough bolin stuff and since i’m almost finished w LOK, i guess ill aid this deficiency :)
also, i just started Book 3, so if theres some things that aren’t right or something, ignore it 
___
Bolin HC (during Book 1/Book 2)
so you guys met at (you guessed it) a pro-bending match
you were an Earthbender for the Ba Sing Se Badgermoles, a widely known team because you guys represented such a big city and you guys were actually kinda good
the Badgermoles were constantly interviewed, put on the covers of magazines, and bombarded by fans. The people loved you and your team
and so the day came where the Badgermoles were put up against the Fire Ferrets
you had heard about this team a lot; how they lost a member of the team, then the Avatar, actual master of the elements, filled in that empty space
it honestly took you so long to process
anyways, your team didn’t get the chance to meet the Fire Ferrets before the match; you just threw on all of your gear and made your way to the play area
you saw the Ferrets and instantly saw Avatar Korra, the only girl on the team
honestly, you couldnt see her well, but she was so pretty
anyways
the battle started and the Badgermoles got the advantage pretty quick
you took out their firebender and was working on the earthbender while the rest of team handled the Avatar
the earthbender put up a huge fight, it was so impressive
he even knocked you back a zone, but you recovered and, with a streak of luck, knocked him straight out of the field
you guys won that round
the next round didn’t go so well
the fire ferrets managed to knock all three of you guys off the platform, resulting in a win and a knock out
this meant that the entire match went to the Fire Ferrets
the other members on your team were annoyed and angry, but you weren’t phased too much
after all, Ba Sing Se treated you all extremely nicely, whether you win or not
so after the game, your team found themselves walking through the Fire Ferret’s locker room so you could leave
after your team mates walked past, you stayed behind and talked to one of the Ferrets, the Earthbender
“Hey, you were really good out there.”
you took off your helmet, just like in the movies, and he swore time slowed
he just stood there, completely frozen with his mouth agape
you raised an eyebrow at his antics and it wasn’t until Avatar Korra slapped him on the back that he came back to
“You- good- were good, uh im- im Bolin.”
you just laughed at Bolin and smiled 
“My names Y/n”
you walked up close to him, noses inches apart
“And next time, we won’t lose.”
he just gulped and nodded him head
you turned and walked out, laughing quietly to yourself
the interaction boosted your mood up exponentially
anyways timeskip to when their looking for the airbenders
you were just chilling in Ba Sing Se in the upper ring
you and your team were given super nice houses since you were the city’s pride and joys
then suddenly, you see Bolin and his brother walking around calling for someone
“Bolin? is that you?”
that boy turned around so fast
he blushed so brightly when he saw you and kinda looked at his brother for help
“well, well, what are the Fire Ferrets doing in my city? you know.. i’ve been dying for a rematch!”
you were only joking of course
you knew that their team had broken up after the year you met Bolin
not that you were keeping tabs on their team
of course
“yeah not right now, we’re looking for someone” his brother said
“oh? need some help?”
it took some time to convince Mako, the brother, but eventually you annoyed him enough to let you join
you were all walking through the upper ring looking for some kid named Kai, but you weren’t really paying attention
you maybe, kinda, might only be there so you could hang out with Bolin
from what you had heard (once again, you definitely weren’t searching for info), Bolin was an outgoing, loud guy
now he was quieter than a mouse
“So, i heard you were making movers now. What, getting tired of being a Pro-Bender?”
“Huh? No. I still play! I’m just doing this until the season starts...”
you were visibly happier after hearing that
you had thought that acting was going to be his permanent thing from now on
but still one thing plagued your mind
“And whats that princess girlfriend of yours gonna think about it? Ginger, I think her name was.”
Spirits you had done wayyyy too much research on this man
to be fair, you didn’t think you’d see him ever again
he blushed and stuttered out something about how they weren’t really dating, how it was a publicity stunt, blah blah
you weren’t really paying attention because after hearing his availability, you decided that today was the day you were gonna make a move on him
if it fails, then you don’t really have much to worry about; he lives in an entirely different city and you would only have to see him once a year
but if it succeeds; ohohohoh you’d finally get to live out your crush
the pros really outweighed the cons right now
so you guys searched for Kai for a while more
you decided that you were going to make some subtle hints toward Bolin
you let your hand brush against his a couple times, but never really looked up to see his reaction
then, you guys found Kai
he was stealing some old guy’s money by... airbending? why does this day just keep getting weirder?
so you guys chase him down an the streets and eventually follow him onto a train
unfortunately, he tricks you and sends you guys all the way to the lower ring 
you used to live here when you were younger, before you became a Pro-Bender, and it wasn’t a nice place
only now, it seemed to have gotten worse
all of you tried to find a way to get on a train back to the upper ring, but none of you had your passports or any money
if only you hadn’t left your house in such a hurry
you even tried to pull the “im a Pro-Bender!” card, but it didnt work
so you guys stayed on the streets for the day
Bolin was really trying to lighten the situation up, but it wasn’t really working 
“C’mon guys! Korra will realize that we’re gone and then come rescue us! I know it!”
she did not come
eventually, they had to find a place to sleep and no where was letting the stay for free
so they found a place in an alley and slept on the floor
yup, the dirty floor
you were not used to this
you almost wanted to stay up for the whole night to avoid sleeping on the ground, but Bolin assured her that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed
it was
“mmm here! you can use my jacket.”
he took off his jacket and laied it out on the floor neatly before gesturing for you to lay there
you hesitated for a second before sitting, not really putting up much of a fight because of how tired you were
Mako was already asleep somewhere across the alley and Bolin began gathering up some papers to use as blanket
then he found a spot somewhere away from you and started to settle down
“hey Bolin? do you maybe wanna share the jacket?”
he looked up so quickly and even the soft light from the lamp post caught his blush
“uhh sure”
and so he came over and laid halfway on the jacket so that you could take up most of it
he even offered you some of his picked up trash to use as a blanket, but you grimaced at the grossness and shook your head
you turned away from him, not wanting to be too overwhelmed by his proximity, so you didn’t notice that Bolin was staring at you
before you could completely fall asleep, a cool breeze burst threw the alley way and you began to shiver
maybe you should’ve accepted his paper
“hey Y/n you awake?”
since you were currently bouncing between consciousness, you decided not to answer
you feel him scoot closer
“okay please dont be mad at me when you wake up”
then you felt his arm cover your cold skin and warm you instantly
Spirits, he should be a firebender with how warm he was
you scooted back to meet his chest and let him envelope you
you fell asleep so quick
both of you woke up to Mako above you speaking loudly
“hey lovebirds, wake up”
since you already know of the position you were in, you didn’t really jump back with the surprise that Bolin had
“S-Sorry Y/n! You just looked so cold last night that I-” 
“its fine Bolin” you smiled at him “and thank you”
spirits he was so cute
and so you guys went on with the day, thinking about stealing food, then meeting their long lost family
it was such a nice reunion
they talked a bit about their family history, but since you felt out of place, you settled for playing with the babies on the floor
you bended little toys out of rocks and watched as some tried the same
it was so cute
meanwhile, Bolin was having a little dilemma
he and Mako had just finished having a heartfelt conversation with his Grandma and now he walks out here to see you playing with little babies and laughing with them
you were just so cute
“you know she likes you too right?”
“huh?! what- staring? im not staring.”
Mako just sighed because wow his baby brother is so dumb
“just talk to her before we leave Ba Sing Se”
and so they got their passports and left to the Upper Ring
you were so excited to go back home and sleep in a real bed
but you had one more thing to do before all of that
“So uh Bolin”
“So uh Y/n”
you guys spoke at the same time
“Oh! you can go first”
once again at the same time
“listen Y/n, I think you’re really pretty and super strong, like you could beat me up if you wanted to and i think thats really cool.” *cue your confused stare* “um anyways what I meant to say was, I think I’m about to fight the queen of Ba Sing Se and if I make it out alive, do you think we could hang out? like just us two?”
you decided to ignore some parts of what he said because umm you can only handle so many things at once
you settled for kissing his cheek and confessing too
you went back home so excited
even tho your crush was about to commit treason <3
aww the two of you are so cute I can’t
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