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honeytonedhottie · 4 months

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HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

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jolynejay · 1 year

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Remember the theory on how ScaVio might potentially have impact on Legends Arceus and how the mainline series treats time travel? Yeah, scratch that in large parts.

BECAUSE THERE IS NO TIME MACHINE IN SCARLET AND VIOLET

The mysterious pokemon described in the Scarlet Book/ Violet Book... it makes "imagination" a "reality." The weird pokemon sketched in the book, the photos of the approximated paradox pokemon - they are all built on the imagination of the expedition team Heath was in. They are a reflection of what these people expected to find in the depths of the Paldean Crater. The Legendary Pokemon on the hexagonal layers is likely building not just pokemon but items, technology out of the Tera Crystals based on what the people in its vicinity imagine.

The team envisioned to find strange creatures. Fusions of legendary pokemon of Johto's legendary dogs, or Unova's Swords of Justice. In Scarlet, the expectation seems to have been to find prehistoric pokemon - preserved in the crator without human interference. In Violet, the expectation may have been shaped by the evolution of mankind and its technology - to find traces of a civilization far more advanced than our own with pokemon evolved to fit that image.

And the artist accompanying the expedition even skeched out some of the pokemon they thought they saw or dreamed up in a haze. And THOSE SKETCHES are what would later shape the imagination of the people entering the crator. The very documentation of the Area Zero shaped how humans would continue to perceive it. And it shaped Sada's and Turo's image of what the far past or the far future might look like. An "image" that would become "reality." (Even Arven mentions how farfetched the Books descriptions sound, and how his parents seemed to have basically made this fairytale real)

I cannot yet tell why the Crystalline Legendary mentioned in those books would do that, though. Maybe it was originally a defense mechanism that was supposed to keep stuff away. Let people and pokemon imagine their fears in order to protect itself. Something that failed over time as mankind advances in technology and science, so it switched strategies to keep itself save.

Maybe the Legendary is trying to lure people/pokemon/whatever to themself - like an anglerfish dangling light in the dark ocean depths, a promise of treasure greater than your wildest dreams.

Whatever the reason is, what we know for certain is that it worked on Sada/Turo.

And the legendary pokemon began more and more to shape and create from the specific reasearch the professors conducted.

In the end, the "time machine" they built is no time machine. It is a machine that makes imagination "reality" (possibly powered by the legendary pokemon in some capacity). Maybe the machine even got constructed by the crystal pokemon bc hallelujah how do you get that much construction done in a literal Made in Abyss eldritch mystery crater without all the world knowing what you are doing. Or heck maybe the machine did somehow get constructed, but it worked more like an amplifier for the Legendary Pokemon's powers.

Either way, it explains why people would not be able to "return" from the "future/past". because the future/past as Turo/Sada imagined it does not exist.

That also explains why the AI Professor crystallizes in the final fight - they are a crystalline construction of imagination. They are Sada/Turo's ideal work partner - a copy of themselves. Something that knows exactly how the Professor thinks and acts. And when the protag squad tries to shut down the machine the illusion begins to fall apart.

It also means the Tera Crystal constructions like the doppelgangers, Miraidon/Koraidon, and all the other paradox pokemon can gain actual awareness, emotion, and sentience.

They are all the Professors' "Paradise" because that is how they imagined the prehistoric past/ far future to be:

Wilderness untamed and existence optimized.

#pokemon sv #scavio spoilers #pokemon scarlet and violet #scavio theory #professor sada #professor turo #arven #pokemon arven #jo's theory corner

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chiqelatasblog · 4 months

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CHAPTER FOUR : Some of us are looking at the stars…

-> Ao3 link is here.

-> Chapter Three link is here.

Pairing : Sub-Zero / Bi-Han x Reader

Summary : After the assassination attempt failed on you, Bi-Han takes charge, surrounding you with guards at all times. While keeping a watchful eye, he discovers new aspects about you, stirring unfamiliar feelings within him. This discomfort, mingled with growing curiosity, shapes the evolving connection between you and him. In the midst of these shifts, a fragile yet meaningful bond emerges as you both share conversations about the past.

Author’s Note: Here’s the first bonding moments!

“Her condition is stable, her life is no longer in danger,” assured the clan doctor. As Bi-Han listened, he tried to keep his strength, powered by his emotions, under control.

He couldn’t recall how he brought you here, but when he took you in his arms, it seemed like your last breath was imminent. The metallic smell of blood stains from coughing filled his nostrils, and the adrenaline-fueled pulse rang in his ears.

“But there is a situation that I think you should see, grandmaster,” the doctor added.

Bi-Han gave an angry breath and signaled for the doctor to open the door. The sliding door revealed you lying directly on the bed. Under the white cover pulled up to your neck, you looked pale, and it’s very evident that you had returned from the brink of death. The harsh reality of the danger you faced hit Bi-Han like a sledgehammer.

His hands clenched into fists on both sides. The fact that such a thing had happened in his own house, right under his nose, filled him with anger. He hadn’t felt this angry in a long time. This assassination attempt was also an insult to him and to his clan. When Tomas brought the one responsible, they’d better beg the gods for mercy because Bi-Han wouldn’t show any. The room seemed to vibrate with the intensity of his rage.

The doctor knelt down next to you, pulling down the cover a little to expose your neck. Bi-Han’s brows furrowed at the sight, and he approached as if to make sure he saw it right.

There was a long, thin, transverse scar on your neck, lighter than your skin color. Obviously an old scar, and although one hand was raised as if to touch the wound, he stopped himself at the last moment and retreated. Did you do this to yourself? You didn’t look like someone suicidal; he didn’t know anything about you or your past, but he recognized the confidence of a warrior in you.

Then someone tried to assassinate you. With this new knowledge, Bi-Han’s chest rose and fell with rage. Who, and why did they try this? Although he never knew you, the options could stretch to infinity. But one thing was sure, he was extrajudicial execution against you.

As Bi-Han silently observed the scar, the condescending question he had directed at you about a week ago echoed in his mind.

“You come from a noble family, how terrible can your nightmare be?’’

He took a deep breath and signaled the doctor to cover the scar. A strange feeling, like a heavy weight in his chest, overwhelmed him. Bi-Han didn’t know how to handle this emotion; his anger grew even stronger. As he walked away from the room, the words you spoke days ago echoed in his mind again, adding a new layer of complexity to his inner turmoil.

“Look, grandmaster, we all have our own demons. The fact that I come from a noble family does not change this fact.”

Bi-Han turned down the corridor without paying attention to the ice marks he left behind. Tomas appeared in front of him.

“Did you find them?’’ Bi-Han growled. Tomas nodded quickly in approval.

“Yes, this way.”

“Have you made inquiries?”

While Bi-Han was chasing after Tomas, he tried to ignore the pain sitting on his chest. Fortunately, the anger he felt was stronger and more dominant than the pain he couldn’t make sense of. It made it easier for him to ignore.

“No, I left that part to you.”

“Don’t tell me you left them alone,” Bi-Han said in an icy voice. Tomas kept his calm against the deadly intonation in his voice.

“Sektor is with her.”

When Tomas brought him to an empty room at the end of several corridors, which was small and had a sliding door like every other room, Bi-Han opened the door as if he had dismantled it and entered without waiting for him to open it.

With his sudden plunge inside, a middle-aged woman who had been on her knees jumped up on the spot with a start. Bi-Han remembered who the woman was, a woman named Xiao, medium height, short black hair, who had been working for the clan’s daily affairs since her mother was alive.

“Grandmaster,” the woman bowed her head with respect and a little fear. “I’m so sorry that something like this would happen—”

“Don’t you dare,” said Bi-Han. Throwing up all his anger and rage, he took a step towards the woman. “Don’t you dare try to make that plea to me. You almost killed her.”

“I swear to the elder gods, I didn’t know!” Although the woman did not raise her head from where she was bowing, Bi-Han could tell that she was crying from the trembling of her voice. “I just wanted to offer your wife some tea. She’s been sitting alone in the garden for a long time, it’s been pretty cold for these past few days, I thought it would do her good, that’s all.”

“Because of this, you’ve deconstructed the alliance between the two clans forever!”

“Grandmaster, please. Listen to me, I don’t know how I can convince myself to you, but as the elder gods are my witnesses, I never had any intention of poisoning your wife.”

Xiao lifted her head from where she was bowing and looked up with tears flowing softly. Although her gaze was filled with pure desperation, Bi-Han had already made up his mind. His will was immutable once he had made a decision, he was as tough as steel about it. Xiao must have caught the determination in his gaze, so her expression dissolved a little more, and accelerated the tears flowing from her eyes.

“I’ve known you since you were a little boy. Please, I have done nothing but serve the clan with respect for a very long time.”

“Until you poisoned (y/n).”

His tone held a firmness that rejected further explanation. It was cold and impenetrable. Sektor, sensing the escalating situation, retreated behind the woman and whispered in Bi-Han’s ear, audible only to him.

“If you kill her, we won’t find out who is behind this. She didn’t put the poison in the tea.”

“I know.” Bi-Han’s voice, unlike Sektor’s hushed tone, resonated for all to hear. “But you must have noticed, too, that she won’t tell us any more than that.”

“Bi-Han!” Kuai Liang entered with a booming voice, agitated eyes scanning between him, Sektor, Tomas, and the woman crying on her knees. “Is it true? (Y/n) was poisoned?”

Bi-Han’s eyes met Kuai Liang’s, showing how serious things were. His expression, usually composed, now held a hint of turmoil. The tension in the room thickened as the unspoken truth hung in the air. The woman cried quietly, and Tomas, standing back, looked worried and confused. It felt like a storm was about to hit, making the room full of tension.

“It remains a slight to say that she was poisoned,” Bi-Han asserted aggressively. “If I had intervened a little later, she would have died.”

“What?! And one of us did it, so is that it?” Kuai Liang’s gaze fixed on the woman. “Xiao? Is it true what I heard?”

“I just—I just wanted to offer tea. I had no other ulterior motives.”

Before Kuai Liang spoke again, his gaze locked on the bloodstains on him for a while. His eyes, mirroring the same icy intensity as Bi-Han’s, seemed to pierce through the room’s tension.

“Just last week, I promised (y/n) that she was safe here. Our word is an oath.” The disbelieving reproach in Kuai Liang’s voice intensified the atmosphere. Tomas observed the woman silently, his jaw slightly contracted, and his fists clenched. Your desperate flutterings would not leave his mind.

The cold air emanating from Bi-Han filled the room, causing the woman to cringe in fear where she was.

“(Y/n) is my wife. I consider everything that has been done to her as done to me. Whether you added the poison to the tea or not, you were part of this assassination attempt. You have dishonored our clan.”

“Grandmaster—”

Bi-Han silenced her by raising his hand.

“There’s only one way to clean this up,” Bi-Han’s gaze turned to Sektor. “Do what is necessary.”

Sektor nodded approval, and before she could say another word, he grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the room. Despite removing the woman, Bi-Han’s anger lingered. While this decision should have satisfied him, an inner voice whispered that he had done something wrong.

It felt absurd that he regretted the words he said to you. Why should he care about your feelings? After all, everything was just a formality.

“How is she?” Kuai Liang asked anxiously. His brother’s calm expression was clouded with worry, and a frown marked his forehead.

“She will live,” Bi-Han said simply. “The medics intervened, she needs to rest for a while to recover.”

“How will we find the real person or people behind this? They can use someone else like Xiao as a tool and harm (y/n) again.”

Tomas’s sensible words prompted Bi-Han to take a deep breath. Flexing his muscles to dispel the pain and stress climbing from his shoulders to his neck, he moved to leave the room, his brothers following.

“If this news reaches the Tengu—”

“It won’t reach,” Bi-Han harshly interrupted Tomas. “Today’s events were a message. There will be no news from here, even if a bird flies, it will be my news first. Arrange for someone to be by (y/n)’s side at all times; from now on, she won’t be walking around alone unprotected.”

“Frost is the best option I think,” Kuai Liang suggested. “She is one of the most talented ninjas in the clan. Moreover, because she is the same gender as (y/n), she may feel more comfortable around her.”

“Good. Besides, I want someone to taste the food from now on. I can’t afford to make the same mistake again. As for the assassin, they will not stop until they achieves their goal. We will wait for the moment when they reveals themselves, keep an eye on (y/n) during this time.”

***

You slept without a break for three days.

Bi-Han found himself in your room the other day, checking on you from time to time. The first time he did this, he was angry with himself and questioned what the hell he was doing, leaving the room as quickly as he entered, like a storm. Later, when he came to the door of the room unconsciously again, this time he said to himself that he had come just to see if you had regained consciousness, and instead of returning from the threshold, he had entered the room.

After a while, this became a routine in itself; he clashed with himself every time he came to you, but in the end, his curiosity to see how you were got the upper hand.

His visits were usually late at night, when no one was standing. During the daytime, sometimes one or both of his brothers came to visit to check on your condition. Frost, on the other hand, did not leave the entrance of the door to keep watch from early in the day until midnight.

During the three days he visited, each time he found you on your bed mumbling incomprehensible words and quietly fluttering. At first, he expected you to handle this situation on your own. After all, a nightmare couldn’t last forever, and a few words you could slip out might also make it easier for him to learn about your clan.

But as he didn’t understand what you were saying, it bothered him that you were struggling with your nightmares even when you should have been resting. What kind of place did you grow up in? What kind of childhood did you have? How did the scar on your throat come about? The unanswered questions lingered, deepening the mystery of your past and forming a connection that Bi-Han found himself unexpectedly invested in understanding.

As all the questions that he shouldn’t have thought about started to fill his mind, Bi-Han didn’t feel any discomfort about it for the first time. Also, realizing that he could calm you down with his voice was a detail he hadn’t expected. Normally, his voice was found deep and intimidating by everyone, and it could not be said that he was speaking kindly to you—only stating the facts. Despite all this, you were somehow finding solace in his presence.

You’re having one of your damn nightmares again,” Bi-Han remarked, his voice as quiet and calm as the night itself. Seated at a little distance, he observed the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the beads of sweat accumulating on your forehead like glistening dew, and the soft moans escaping as you turned your head from side to side. The moonlight cast a faint glow, outlining the contours of your troubled expression in the dimly lit room.

While your hands were tightly gripping the duvet above you, and the incomprehensible murmurs that were pouring out of your lips started to turn into small sobs, Bi-Han once again tried to calm you down by sighing.

“You’re having a nightmare, (y/n). Whatever you’re seeing or experiencing, you’re not there anymore. You’re here at Lin Kuei.”

As Bi-Han muttered the words, his eyes were turned to the exposed neck. Although it wasn’t very bright inside, his eyes had already memorized the location and shape of the scar. As his gaze narrowed, his voice hardened a little.

‘’You are safe, do you hear me? I know you can. It won’t happen again. So calm down now, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” His words, though firm, held a gentle promise, as if he were guarding you against the shadows that haunted your dreams. “(Y/n), you’re not alone.” It was unexpected for him to offer such reassurance, yet his instincts guided him in ways he hadn’t anticipated.

Even though he’s been doing this for days, he couldn’t help but be surprised that you had the same reaction again. While your sobs subsided, your breathing slowly adjusted, and your face softened. When you finally calmed down completely, your eyelids slowly opened, doing something that Bi-Han didn’t expect.

The room suddenly became quiet, and while you were trying to decipher what was going on, Bi-Han stood still, silently watching you like a hunter among the shadows. After looking at the ceiling for a while with a frown, your gaze directly found Bi-Han, as if you knew he was there all along.

As confusion painted your face, you gradually straightened up, supported by your arms, and gazed at him with wide-open eyes. The duvet fell to your lap as you shifted, and the cool air inside made you shiver slightly. Instinctively, one hand reached to touch your exposed neck, causing your eyes to widen even more, as if that were possible.

“There’s no need to hide it. I saw the scar.”

After swallowing loudly, as if you weren’t sure about what you had seen, you spoke in a voice as light as a feather, ’’Bi-Han?’’. Maybe it was the first time you called him by his name. Bi-Han felt a chill running down his neck, hearing his name uttered in such a naive tone for the first time.

When Bi-Han let out a little grunt that showed he heard you, you blinked your eyes once or twice and averted your gaze from him.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“For three days.”

“Three days?” You rubbed your shoulders, taking a deep breath. Your whole body must have been aching because you’ve been lying down for so long. “It’s been quite a lot.” When your gaze was turned on him again, Bi-Han involuntarily let his guard up. For some reason, he felt the need to defend himself against the next thing you were going to say.

“Why are you in my room?”

“How do you feel?” Bi-Han said, fudging the question instead of answering. It didn’t escape your attention that he didn’t answer, but you didn’t comment on it either.

“It’s like I’ve come back from the dead.”

“It should not be a situation that you have just experienced.”

Against the words pouring from his lips, an expression appeared on your tired face that he could not read. You looked almost dull, your gaze was hard and distant. As an uncomfortable silence fell over the room, Bi-Han couldn’t understand why he felt the need to say these words.

“If your visit is over, please leave my room.”

Your voice matched his in its icy tone. He could understand your reaction; he had touched on a sensitive topic he shouldn’t discuss. Nevertheless, despite being aware of his misstep, he offered no apology, nor did he dwell on the matter. Having just returned from the brink of death, your nightmares denied you proper rest, so gathering strength was your priority. Rising from his seat, just before exiting the room, he glanced over his shoulder at you and made the statement he should have uttered the moment you woke up.

“I took care of the person who poisoned you.”

Interrupting between his words, you asked, “Did you kill her?” When Bi-Han continued his speech instead of providing a direct answer, the response lingered in the air, shrouded in ambiguity.

“From now on, nothing like this will ever happen to you again. I have assigned one of my most talented ninjas to be your bodyguard, accompanying you at all times. Moreover, there will always be someone checking your food before you eat.”

“I don’t need protection,” you asserted, the stubborn lift of your chin becoming a detail that simultaneously intrigued and irked Bi-Han. “I can take care of myself.”

“The real person behind this has not been caught yet. Therefore, until we find the traitor who plotted this, you will be under protection.”

“Do you think someone from your clan did this?”

“Very likely,” Bi-Han said in an honest voice. “But you can be sure that this situation will not happen again.”

***

A few more days have passed since the events that happened. You were slowly starting to regain your strength and come to your senses. Bi-Han never visited you again after you opened your eyes, but his eyes found you easily, regardless of where you were and the time.

It seemed to have become a habit for him. Involuntarily glancing around wherever he was, his eyes were checking to see if you were nearby, and he couldn’t stop himself from doing so. It must have been due to the fact that he was constantly on guard so that such an event would not happen again; he could not find another plausible explanation for this situation.

On the other hand, he actually didn’t even need to do this. Since he spoke to Kuai Liang, Frost had become a second shadow for you, following you everywhere. He could easily see from your body language that both of you were uncomfortable with this situation, but you had no choice but to put up with it. During meals and training sessions, Frost’s absence was filled by his brothers, sometimes even Cyrax or Sektor.

Quickening his steps, he walked out of the indoor training field. It was already past midnight, and after everyone had dispersed, he liked to work with training dummies until he was drenched in sweat on his own.

Taking a deep breath in the cold night air, he briskly traversed the stony road, adorned with a delicate layer of snow. Typically cold, his body now radiated warmth and sweat from hours of tireless work; carefully gathered hair loosened, nearly freeing itself from its bun. As it cascaded over his forehead, revealing the nape of his neck, Bi-Han, displeased with the unruly locks, swept them back with one hand.

Feeling the urgency for a cleansing, he hastened towards the hot springs, the need to relieve his strained body after a day of intense labor. Nearing the heart of the garden, a figure caught his attention, standing a little distance away from the winter garden enclosed by full-length glass windows.

You had a cover on you, likely a blanket, and were sitting on one of the benches in the garden, knees drawn up to your stomach, looking up at the sky. Under the blanket pulled up to your face, you looked like a little girl, completely unaware of his presence and vulnerable.

Approaching, Bi-Han wondered how you came out alone at this time of night. As he came close, you looked at him curiously over your shoulder, wide-eyed with surprise at his unexpected presence. A silence hung between you for a few heartbeats before Bi-Han broke it.

‘’How did you get here by yourself? Where are the guards?’’

“They are where you ordered them to stand, in front of my door.’’ You said simply. Your voice remained clear and calm. ‘’The answer to the other question is, I left from the balcony. The floors were quite close to each other.’’

Bi-Han’s eyebrows furrowed, displeased with what he heard. Although he intended to speak, you explained before him.

‘’Let me explain myself before you begin to get angry. I’ve never had a chance to be on my own since I woke up. To be honest, I felt lonely when I came here at first, but now I feel like I’m almost drowning under the attention. I needed some space to breathe, that’s all.’’

‘’There is no way you could have left without announcing yourself to them; they are master ninjas.’’ Said Bi-Han, less harsh than he had intended. You turned to face him, a side of your lips curling into a small smile.

‘’I trained with my brothers for a while. There are a few moves I know too, grandmaster. Don’t look down on me.’’

Bi-Han raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Crossing his arms, he asked, giving in to curiosity.

‘’What were you doing until I came?’’

‘‘I’ was looking at the stars.’’ You said it, as if expressing the simplest truth in the world. ‘’Since there is a lot of lighting around the temple, it doesn’t look clear from the balcony, so I went down to the garden.’’

A mocking smile appeared on Bi-Han’s lips.

‘‘How old are you? You should have left such childish behavior behind by now.’’

Your expression showed offense for a moment. Bi-Han, not knowing how long you had been sitting in the garden, noticed the flush on your nose and cheeks. He couldn’t understand why you were sitting in this cold to look at the sky. Although he couldn’t feel the cold like others, he knew you wouldn’t sit outside in thin clothes and a piece of blanket for long. In his logic, there was no explanation for this.

Quickly recovering, you rested your chin on your knees and turned your gaze to the sky rather than him.

‘’There is a saying that my mother told me before she passed away, I remember it every time I look at the stars. It gives me strength to remember her in this way.’’

Bi-Han looked at the sky with his head slightly tilted back. Except for a few clusters of clouds, the weather was clear enough for him to pick out the stars in the black sky.

‘‘What is that saying?’’ he asked after a while.

“The people who should be alive are always with us, their presence enduring. For those who have left, there is nothing left for us to do.” You spoke these words with a soft, emotional timbre, each syllable carrying a weight of experience. ‘’When you feel unhappy, lonely, and hopeless, remember this saying: we are all living in the gutter, but some of us looking at the stars.”

Bi-Han’s heart stirred with a sweet pain he hadn’t expected. His gaze shifted from the stars back to you. His eyes, now wide with a mix of emotions, struggled to define the unnamed feeling within him.

‘’Oscar Wilde.’’ He said in one breath. ‘‘My mother liked to read his books too.’’

When you turned to look at Bi-Han, an expression of pure astonishment on your face, he saw you as a little girl with flushed skin, sparkling eyes, and messy hair. Almost cute, he couldn’t help but think.

‘’Really?’’ you asked. Your breath came out in smoke due to the cold air.

“Yes. When my mother was pregnant with me and later with Kuai Liang, she couldn’t move much. Pregnancy processes were usually difficult for her, so she spent most of her time reading books. She liked to tell her favorite stories and sayings from the books she read. If I’m not mistaken, she must still have books in her library. I can give you some of them to read if you want.’’

You blinked your eyes a few times, trying to process his offer of sharing books. As minutes passed, Bi-Han grew uncomfortable with the prolonged silence. Without waiting for you to answer, he turned, indicating the end of the conversation. As he started to walk back to the temple, you called out after him.

‘‘Bi-Han, wait! Thank you!’’

The rustling of a blanket indicated that you had hurriedly stood up. Pausing, Bi-Han slightly turned around, looking at you.

‘’I’m so sorry for your loss, I know how it feels.’’

As you shared sympathy, Bi-Han’s jaw subtly tightened, silently acknowledging the emotions your sincere words stirred. Your approach, different from his brothers’ usual company, felt a bit strange but not unwelcome.

Bi-Han waved a hand, signaling that the matter was closed. He didn’t wish to discuss it further; he was tired and sweaty, yearning to clean up and end the night.

‘’Come inside before you’ll catch any more cold. I don’t want you to fall into bed one more time.’’

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sturnioloshacker · 1 year

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honey, i’m home! - a vinnie hacker short

my 15,000th post! thank you for your endless love and support through likes, reblogs and comments, love you all ❤️

after spending 2 months back home in seattle, it was time for vinnie to go back to la and surprise his girlfriend y/n. he didn’t tell her that he was coming back today as he wanted this moment to be something special. all he wanted was to see her beautiful face light up in excitement, her doe eyes glimmer as they widen and her lips form the biggest cheshire cat-like grin. boarding the plane, vinnie taps the doorframe and walks to his seat. his leg bouncing with anticipation, the plane begins to speed down the runway as it starts to take off into the clouds.

3 hours go by and vinnie is finally back on california soil. he collects his bags and meets jett outside the terminal. he puts his bags in the car and immediately becomes the passenger princess. drinking his drink from starbucks jett got for him and putting his feet up on the dash, vinnie is brought back to reality. it’s finally settling in that he’ll see his bub after 2 long months. as much as he loved seeing his family and catching up with him, there was always that feeling of missing y/n deep down. he would love to bring y/n with him, but with her busy work schedule, she couldn’t find someone to cover for her. as jett turns into their street, anxiety creeps up into vinnie. his chest rising quickly, heart beating so loud he’s shocked that jett can’t hear it, ears ringing.

“jett, wait”, vinnie chokes out.

jett pulls over and waits for vinnie to calm down.

“sorry”, vinnie mumbles.

“for what?” jett asks, concerned for his best friend.

“i’m just nervous. what if she hates me for leaving her for so long? what if she isn’t home right now? what if-“

“dude, chill! she hasn’t shut up about you for 2 months, she doesn’t hate you and she’s home so you are fine. don’t stress, she’ll see you, start crying and kiss you until your lips fall off”.

vinnie and jett laugh at that thought and jett pulls out to continue down the street. back in the house, y/n hears the sound of the car pulling into the driveway. she continues to apply a light layer of lip balm to her lips to complete her skincare routine. taking one more look in the mirror, she sighs and notices hera sitting on vinnie’s side of the bed. both y/n and hera have missed vinnie like crazy. endless nights of zero sleep because there was no one to cuddle with, some nights of crying because of little things that reminded her of vinnie and days of staying in the living room because it was difficult to sleep in a huge bed with no one to spoon. she walks back into the bedroom when she hears a voice she hasn’t heard in what felt like forever.

“honey, i’m home!” vinnie yells from the living room.

a squeal exits her lips as y/n races down the stairs and jumps into her boyfriend’s arms. tears fill her eyes as she takes in the scent of vinnie’s cologne. she takes one look at the boy she adores and the tears finally make her way down your cheeks. y/n kisses vinnie and it felt absolutely sensational. lips moving in time with one another, small giggles during the breaks and pure love being shared between the cute couple. setting her down, vinnie finally gets a proper look at the girl he missed so dearly.

“god, i missed you!”

“i missed you so much, it’s insane!”

the two lovers share another sweet kiss before heading upstairs to tell each other everything and have some fun that they haven’t had in 2 months.

“told you she’d cry when she saw him,” jett says, making everyone laugh.

#vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker x y/n #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker fanfic

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thegoldenavenger · 2 months

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Fusion au in a series of vignettes. Non beta'd and it's 4am so I'm very sorry for any mistakes. Cw for relatively brief shen jiu related backstory. This is Bingqiu with Word Of God (me, I'm god) bingliushen intended endgame thought it ends before it gets there.

Standing at the edge of the rift, Shen Qingqiu wields Xiu Ya against his beloved disciple while the System flashes red at him. The countdown blares like a siren in his head, a dual layer alarm in four-four time. It buzzes in his chest alongside his heartbeat and his hand sweats around his sword's grip.

Luo Binghe's starry eyes are wet with tears, his face red and twisted in fear and confusion and grief.

Shen Qingqiu is about to wave his sword when Luo Binghe reaches out to him. Luo Binghe's palm slides against the blade of Xiu Ya, blood spilling into the open air. The System whines, counterpoint to its own buzzing bass, as the seconds dwindle.

"Shizun?" Luo Binghe has followed his momentum and his hand now grips Shen Qingqiu's sleeve, shaky and pale.

Shen Qingqiu needs to push him down.

The timer hits zero, the whaling in his ears hits its peak, Luo Binghe's sniffling face fills his vision. And then he trips. It's so simple. He trips and the tip of Xiu Ya pierces Luo Binghe's chest when his disciple automatically moves to catch him. He lets go of his sword, startled, and Luo Binghe catches his hand. The System fades into a continuous ringing as his weight falls entirely into Luo Binghe's hold and his disciple through tears and pain, takes one step back to support him.

It looks like a dip.

It feels like a dip, Luo Binghe timed perfectly the the System's whining and Shen Qingqiu's own heartbeat.

A flare of qi rises around them and he feels untethered from his own body once more. Everything fades away except for the light and Luo Binghe's startled face. Shen Qingqiu's soul floats and he goes from looking at the star-lit depths of his disciples eyes (he goes from staring up at their jet-dark coolness) to blinking, disoriented, as the System-induced headache (the hot pulse of pain in his hand and chest) fade away, and the light flares and softens the edges of reality.

He doesn't remember dying, but he feels soul-deep like this is familiar. It's not painful though, not like the seal breaking, wouldn't dying be painful? No, he dismisses the thought, dying doesn't have to be painful. Most things aren't painful, as they're happening actually.

He can accept that, but this still isn't dying. He feels full, overflowing, but alive. Because the seal is broken? Or because his body has been—oh the seal. That rift. The Sy— the fall.

But there's no one standing by the rift's edge except for him. Is he too late? Did he already push him (did he already fall)? He's not dead so that must mean he went through with it (that must mean he stopped).

Where's Binghe? (Where's Shizun?)

He should ask what's going on (he already knows) but when he glances to his peripheral nothing stands out to him. He raises his hand in an instinctual gesture to summon something but he's distracted by the pink-line on his palm.

It's where Xiu Ya cut him. Them? Him.

Oh. They fused.

They fused!

Oh no, they fused!

A flash of light and their souls rip apart, Shen Qingqiu flinging himself backwards and away from Luo Binghe. Him? Fuse with the protagonist? As if pushing the boy into the Abyss wasn't enough now he's gone and mixed his soul up with Binghe's when even the original Stallion Protagonist had never done that particular dance with anyone.

As if Luo Binghe needs any more reason to peel Shen Qingqiu's limbs from him! Wasn't he the one who speculated about the intimacy of fusing and fusion dances in the forums?! Didn't he say that Luo Binghe refusing to fuse with even any of his many wives symbolized a deep chasm of mistrust and justified fear of vulnerability?

Didn't the forums go ballistic when the Original Scum Villain's scummier past was revealed where that Qiu Haitang sister accused him of force fusing with her brother and using the power to wipe out their entire manor? Did that make him as bad as the original goods?

The moment their souls separate back into two distinct bodies the system's red warning screen comes back to life in the corner of Shen Qingqiu's vision. He's not terribly concerned about that because, after everything, Shen Qingqiu jerking out of Luo Binghe's hold is what sends the boy stumbling off the edge of the rift.

"Shizun!"

"Binghe—" Shen Qingqiu forgets himself and flings himself forward, land on his hands and knees to look into the rift's opening. His hand is outstretched, as if he can do anything in this moment other than watch as Luo Binghe falls.

When Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan find him he's still kneeling where the rift pulled itself closed.

----

Yue Qi is the oldest of the kids and the strongest, but he never really feels strong. Not when Xiao Jiu goes to bed hungry more often then not. Not when Yue Qi gets sick, and Xiao Jiu has to work even harder to cover for both of them.

There is something that does make Yue Qi feel strong, though. Oh, he knows they're not supposed to do it, just like practicing making dancing lights or Xiao Jiu's sharp-tricks. He can't find it in himself to discourage it all too much though.

When he and Xiao Jiu dance together they become closer than anyone could even dream. Together, as one being in mind, spirit, and body, they are strong. Xiao Jiu has always been the one to shore up Yue Qi's weakness but like this it feels as though they have no weaknesses at all.

Where Yue Qi is too trusting, placid, ox-strong and (Xiao Jiu says) too stupid to live, and Xiao Jiu is suspicious, mischievous, cutting and mercurial as one being they are balanced. They are even-keeled, clever, optimistic but not naive. They're beautiful as well, in their own opinion. Longer, deep hair and pale skin with Xiao Jiu's sharp eyes and Yue Qi's friendly smile. They also have Yue Qi's eyes, set above Xiao Jiu's, and another set of arms.

If anyone saw them they'd be called a demon and even together they aren't strong enough to fight or fast enough to run...

So they don't stay fused for long. It's not smart to be caught looking like a demonic freak (Xiao Jiu says) and Yue Qi isn't strong enough to protect them. Not yet. He thinks, if he gets better in his own body, then surely someday they'll be strong enough to run away together.

Someday they can run away together and maybe they can find a place no one will bother them even if they stay fused together. Yue Qi thinks he'd like that; together as one with Xiao Jiu forever.

----

"You know, fusing isn't actually a metaphor for sex." Shang Qinghua says to his black-powder fan, who cracks his fan open in front of his face.

"Everything you wrote was a metaphor for sex."

"Okay!" He says, because. Well. It's not like Cucumber-Bro is wrong. "It's not just a metaphor for sex. If it was just sex, my son would've been fusing with every new sister in his harem. You think I didn't see how many requests I got to write what a Sha Hauling and Luo Binghe fusion would be like?"

"But fusing represents the more vulnerable aspects of sex! That's why—" Cucumber-Bro starts to say before Shang Qinghua interrupts him.

"It's a metaphor for relationships! Intimacy in relationships!"

"—Ah?" Cucumber-bro shuts his mouth and taps his fan against his lips.

"It can be any type of relationship, not just a sexual or romantic one. It's just meant to represent vulnerability between individuals expressed in a tangible way and..." Shang Qinghua trails off when he notices Cucumber-bro's eyes narrowing at him.

"Great Master Airplane," he starts, "you never added any of that into your story."

"It was subtext?" He tries.

"I think you just wanted to write a knock off dragon ball gimmick so you had cool villains for Binghe to fight!"

"Well! It's not like anyone wanted to pay for a meta narrative focused on cannon fodder!"

"Why did you abandon all your best ideas!?" Cucumber-Bro wails, throwing his fan at Shang Qinghua's head.

Shang Qinghua catches it this time and grins triumphantly at his friend. Shen Qingqiu makes a frankly hilarious face and dives fist first at Shang Qinghua.

"Give that back—let me—it's absolutely my right to hit you for every cool plot you abandoned, you hack!"

"No! I saw you in the comments! You think fusing is cool, that means you can't hit me over this one!"

"Can't I?" Shen Qingqiu grapples over the fan with Shang Qinghua.

Their palms slide together and Shang Qinghua laughs, because Cucumber's face looks exceedingly out of character: flushed red and comically angry. "You can't if you can't catch me!" He sing-songs and tries to slip away.

Shen Qingqiu quickly flips his grip to hold Shang Qinghua's wrist, jerking him closer. Shang Qinghua reflexively rests his hand on Shen Qingqiu's chest, and when he tries to grab at the fan again Shang Qinghua dances away, spinning out from where Shen Qingqiu still holds his wrist.

He laughs, buoyed with the momentum and when he opens his eyes he sees the fan in his hand.

"Got it!" He says.

His voice sounds different. In fact, his hand also looks different.

Oh, we fused. He—they—think.

A slick curl of nausea rises from the pit of their stomach while the rest of them sparks in confusion.

Nonsensically, their last thought is I'm not even gay? before the fusion destabilizes and Shang Qinghua is stumbling backwards, unbalanced.

Shen Qingqiu looks pale. He's holding the fan, and half his robes are in An Ding colors now. "I—" he says, then takes a step backwards. "I didn't mean to—Sorry."

Then he's gone, fan no doubt in front of his face as he glides out the door. Shang Qinghua finds himself sitting on the floor, blinking in confusion.

He plucks at the collar of his robe, Qing Jing teal.

----

The Abyss is hell. Every day longer that Luo Binghe spends in it is another flood of blood and filth staining him. It's too late to salvage the bits of Shizun's robes that were mixed together with his after their fusion... separated. His disciple uniform and Shizun's robes were of similar quality and color so he hadn't even noticed the different embroidery and slight differences in cut until he'd been forced to tear at his clothes for strips.

It's pointless to try and save the pieces of Shizun's wardrobe he found himself carrying but he tries to anyway. If only because each time he sees them he's reminded that Shizun walked away from their fusion wearing the matching pieces from his uniform.

He doesn't know if that means much to Shizun right now. It's possible Shizun had taken the first moment he could to scour every sign of Luo Binghe from his Peak. Could Luo Binghe even blame him, concealing his heritage from him and hiding in a righteous sect right under their noses.

Shen Qingqiu had tried to push him into the abyss.

But he hadn't, actually, pushed him. He'd reached out.

They'd fused.

It was confusing, a jumbling mess, but however disoriented and brief they were one in mind and soul. Luo Binghe had felt, then, the desperate need to know what had happened to his Important Person. It got muddied with Luo Binghe's feelings for his Shizun, he knows, but he remembers feeling fearful, anxious, frustrated.

He remembers feeling like he wouldn't do this, if he had a choice.

For all Luo Binghe knows, Shizun just regretted that his favorite disciple was an irredeemable demon. He was scared, because Luo Binghe was revealed to be a demon, he was anxious because of what that could mean for the sect. Frustrated because Luo Binghe was making things difficult.

But couldn't it also be that Shizun was fearful for Luo Binghe? He was anxious about their fates, frustration coming from the situation? That Shizun didn't want to push Luo Binghe, but felt he had to?

Maybe Luo Binghe can show Shizun that he is more righteous cultivator than he is demon. He'll settle things in the demon realm, learn to conceal his blood, and then when he makes it back to the human realm he'll prove to Shizun that he's good.

It's a slim hope to stake himself on, but Luo Binghe has never given up once yet. He is not about to start.

He forces himself up the obsidian-black stairs to the raised dias in the center of a bone covered field. A sword stands upright in front of him, black and sharp and heavy with intent. His hand itches.

He just needs to get out of the abyss first, and then he'll prove everything to Shizun.

----

Shen Jiu tries to gasp for breath under Qiu Jianluo's hand. He kicks his legs to no avail. Qiu Jianluo just tightens his grip.

"Come on, Xiao Jiu." Shen Jiu has to focus to hear him through the whooshing noise of his own blood in his ears. "Just fuse with me already."

Shen Jiu wants to lick the blood off his split lip and spit in Qiu Jianluo's face. He wants to claw the man's eyes out. But across the manor is his new fiancé, sitting in her room with her maids taking down her hair and getting her bed ready for the night.

He's realizing now, after three years, that he absolutely cannot wait any longer. If Qi-Ge was going to make it back he would have by now, and if Shen Jiu let's himself be married to Qiu Haitang he won't ever be seeing himself leave the Qiu house at all.

He swallows, can't speak past Qiu Jianluo's hand, and tries nodding instead.

"Oh? Have you decided to stop with your tantrum already?"

Shen Jiu could cough blood, he's so mad. He makes himself nod.

Qiu Jianluo pulls back his hand. "Well?" He asks, expectant.

"Fine."

Shen Jiu still remembers what it felt like to fuse with Qi-Ge, years ago now. Even then, with the person he trusted most in this or any other life, he'd felt too much. Too big and to small for his skin. They'd looked like a demon and he knew it was his fault, always needing to look at things for himself, never trusting anyone else's hands but his own. Still, the paranoia softened when he was fused. It gentled into a tame thing that cautioned and warned but never consumed.

Shen Jiu often slept curled up next to Qi-Ge, hand clenched in Qi-Ge's clothes—the better to wake up if something happened to the guileless fool—but sometimes Qi-Ge would shift closer and hug him in their sleep. Fusing with him felt like being wrapped in that hug.

Shen Jiu was never really conscious, when they fused. When they separated he remembered what they did, what they were thinking, but it wasn't entirely him and it wasn't entirely Qi-Ge. It was them. Together.

Shen Jiu had no intention of knowing what together felt like with Qiu Jianluo.

He could bring his suspicious eyes, and his distrustful hands into something as soft and warm as his fusion with Qi-Ge and they were stronger for it. He's positive, with his experience and his rage fueling him, he can bring his whole mind into whatever paltry form Qiu Jianluo thinks they can take.

When he opens his eyes, taller and stronger, with Qiu Jianluo nowhere in sight, he knows he's right.

The manor burns, and so does every man in that house. Qiu Jianluo does, too, once Shen Jiu lets the fusion go. Not before Shen Jiu pushes him onto his own sword.

(Not before Qiu Haitang sees them—him—hulking and monstrous, as he pulls her out of the burning wreck.)

----

"It's be faster if we fused."

"Are you saying you can't handle it by yourself, shidi?"

Shen Qingqiu's fan waves softly in front of his face.

"I can handle it."

"Of course you can. There's no need to put ourselves out."

Liu Qingge huffs out a breath, mad at himself. His own pride won't let him pretend weakness he doesn't have, so he can't claim to need to fuse. Shen Qingqiu must have been counting on that.

He isn't lying though, it would be faster to fuse. All of Shen Qingqiu's knowledge and cool diplomacy combined with Liu Qingge's might. The den of succubus would stand no chance. They would be in and out before the evening wore down, he's sure.

Just like he's sure that fusion would have streamlined the last handful of missions they've been on together. For sure, if they'd been fused while facing that Dancing Crystalline Boar Shen Qingqiu's third favorite fan would still be with them.

No matter what Liu Qingge tries, Shen Qingqiu dodges every attempt he makes to ask his shixiong to fuse. Literally dodging in some cases. When Liu Qingge suggested they practice fighting fused as part of their sparring sessions, the man had nearly barrell rolled off the mountain.

If his younger self could see him now... he remembers a time he was furious at the prospect of having to fuse with Shen Qingqiu. He and his Shixiong's relationship was, thankfully, so vitriolic none of their Shizun's attempts towards improving their Sect Sibling relationship ever came close to bearing fruit. Yes, ideally all the Peak Lords would be able to fuse in case needs arose, but Liu Qingge didn't have a problem fusing with any of the other Peak Lords. It was just Shen Qingqiu, the murderous bastard.

That Shen Qingqiu would then save his life... and with a partial fusion even.

He can't remember even most of what happened while he was dying in the Ling Xi caves. What he does recall is hazy with the after effects of qi deviation and confusion. He holds onto what he remembers with two hands though.

A soft, cooling light and nervous almost bemused thoughts. They couldn't have done a fusion dance, or even any of the ritual martial forms for fusing. He can't imagine with how badly he'd been qi deviating, that he had the coordination or intent to do so.

Still, somehow his soul had called out and Shen Qingqiu's soul had answered. They hadn't fused but they'd mingled well enough in each other that Liu Qingge was pulled out of his qi deviation.

The Shen Qingqiu that Liu Qingge had known—had thought he'd known—up until that point would have sooner killed Liu Qingge himself than open himself up to fusion. At least, that's what Liu Qingge thought.

He'd been wrong.

Oh, he didn't know it at first. He'd wasted his first attempt to fuse with Shen Qingqiu because he wanted the fast and easy way to determine exactly how Shen Qingqiu was planning on playing him. Because Shen Qingqiu must have an angle, and fusing would force him to expose it.

Well, they never fused, but Liu Qingge still realised Shen Qingqiu didn't have an angle. He was just, changed.

Shen Qingqiu hides a smile behind his fan as they approach the Sucubus cave, eyes flashing merrily at Liu Qingge as he says a final joking sentence.

Liu Qingge had once been faced with the prospect of fusing with Shen Qingqiu for duty. Then, because he was dying. Then, as an effort to force the man to be honest for once.

Now, Liu Qingge wants to, with Shen Qingqiu, for no other reason than simply because he, well. He wants to. He wants to be closer to Shen Qingqiu, he wants to show how much he's grown to trust his Shixiong. He wants his Shixiong to trust him.

He thinks they'd be good together. Strong, obviously. But also smart, and quick, clever. Liu Qingge isn't stupid, whatever anyone says, and he doesn't do himself the disservice as to discount his own strengths, but he wants to know what it's like in Shen Qingqiu's head. What it's like to be able to call up words like water from a pitcher, what it's like to be able to smile warmly and speak cleverly.

He wants to share with Shen Qingqiu his side as well. Wants him to feel the power and constancy of Liu Qingge's own strength and will.

Shen Qingqiu gestures at him, his fan firmly in place between himself and the rest of the world as he steps into the cave.

Liu Qingge, as ever, follows.

----

It happens so quickly, neither of them have a chance to realise it.

It's not a dance, but the honed tempo of two martial gods coming to the same blows day after day after day.

They're just. In synch. Mind, body, souls.

Liu Qingge snarls something about desecration and disrespect.

Luo Binghe sneers something condescending back.

Xin Mo and Cheng Luan cross blades once more. As repetitive as it is, perhaps it does count as a dance.

And then they are one. Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe no longer existing as separate beings but united into one consciousness.

They cut an impressive figure against the dimming sky, broad shoulders narrowing into a slim waist and dense, inky, feathery hair cascading from a thick ponytail. Their robes are cut in Bai Zhan's severe style but dyed in the demon lord's dark colors.

They have claws, fangs, senses sharpened by nature first before cultivation. This doesn't bother them as much as it should, every hunter needs it's weapons. They feel solid, settled, confident in this body despite their newness. They have a mole, on their finger.

They don't really register this.

There's one thought in their head: Shen Qingqiu.

Everything else is paralyzed.

There's a dual sense inside of them; that they should get to Shen Qingqiu's side immediately, that they shouldn't be near him, that he's in danger, that he's safest where he is.

Over it all is a bone-deep, aching grief. He's gone, he's gone, he's gone and it's all their fault. No matter what they try, they'll always fail when it comes to him, won't they?

They stay there, on their knees, well after the sun sets into the night.

-----

The first time Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe fuse it's ugly and emotional and the fate of the world rests like a cracked egg in their palm.

Shen Qingqiu doesn't know he'd say it's worse then fusing at the moment one is about to push one's disciple into hell though.

Shen Qingqiu much prefers the third time they fused or the fourth, or the fifth. They honestly spend more time fused than not, though Shen Qingqiu has responsibilities he still needs to take care of that require them to split.

He wonders if it's so terrible, how easily he loses himself in their fusion. Certain member of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect sure act like it's a tragedy. He's resigned not to care. He loves Luo Binghe: stickiness, partial darkening, and all whether fused or not.

The System is still a problem. When fused it completely blacks out, like a blind spot in his vision. Any train of thought that even runs parallel to it gets forcefully redirected. It makes him feel like a dog being clicker trained, but it isn't thorough enough that Binghe doesn't walk away from their fusions with unvoiced questions that Shen Qingqiu still can't answer.

Despite this, or maybe partially because of it, Shen Qingqiu warms up to fusing with Luo Binghe as a flower warms up to the sun. It's both him and Binghe, as one. He doesn't have to try and find the face to speak. For one, it seems Binghe's shamelessness melds really well with Shen Qingqiu's unbridled face for criticism so speaking his mind is never an issue. If there is something he gets stuck on, he only needs to meditate on it and let it resolve itself internally. Both Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu will come out understanding the resolution.

This isn't to say Shen Qingqiu prefers being fused. Not at all. What would he do without being able to see Luo Binghe's peerless face? Spending time alone being them is grand, but he also loves spending time together with his Binghe. He would miss it, if he wasn't able to squish Binghe's cheeks and toothlessly scold his manners.

And how he has to scold Binghe for his manners.

Well, he supposes Liu Qingge does deserve it more often than not. "Luo Binghe is dead." Truly, shidi? The one time in your pristine life you decide to lie and it's when it's liable to send Shen Qingqiu to an early grave?

Between that and "You have me here before you and you're going to choose him?" Shen Qingqiu could think Liu Qingge isn't dealing with his least favorite Shixiong moving off the mountain so well.

As if Shen Qingqiu knows what to do with that!

Of course Shen Qingqiu chose Luo Binghe! The man was all alone, without any support network at all! Liu Qingge is a good, a great friend even, but he isn't alone. He has the sect, his disciples, his sister, and surely the many theoretical sisters who must be throwing themselves at him any time he steps foot off the mountain.

It's not like Shen Qingqiu doesn't visit! He misses Qing Jing Peak, Cang Qiong Mountain, and his shidi, too! He even, in consideration of Liu Qingge’s surprisingly delicate sensibilities, avoids doing business with him while fused.

As frustrating as Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe can be while in each other's vicinity (tension growing between them thick enough Shen Qingqiu often wants to test it on Xiu Ya's blade, an epic rivalry that never got to bloom in the original storyline, maybe?) it's miles more tolerable than whatever happens while they're fused and Liu Qingge is forced to interact with them.

"Husband!"

"Mm," Shen Qingqiu hums in distraction.

"Husband, stop thinking about Liu Qingge." Luo Bingge pouts, tugging Shen Qingqiu's sleeve.

"Shishu." Shen Qingqiu absently corrects even as he can't help but smile at Luo Binghe's put upon face. "You should show him respect, Binghe."

"Liu-Shishu," Binghe obediently repeats.

"What makes you think I'm thinking about your Shishu?"

"Shizun always looks like he's trying to decide whether or not to let in a stray cat when he thinks about Liu-Shishu. For the record, he shouldn't let the stray cat in. It'll claw the furniture."

Shen Qingqiu laughs, forgetting for a moment, to hide it behind his fan. Luo Binghe's eyes sparkle and he swoops in, locking his arms around his husband.

"Even if he does scratch some furniture, won't Binghe just fix it for this master? It shouldn't be so hard, since you have to fix the furniture you break any how."

Luo Binghe pouts and buries his face into Shen Qingqiu's neck. "If Shizun insists."

Shen Qingqiu brings his hand up to pet at Luo Binghe's fluffy hair. It's thanks to how open they've been together that Shen Qingqiu can catch the undercurrent in Luo Binghe's voice.

"If Binghe doesn't want to entertain Liu-Shidi he doesn't have to." Shen Qingqiu starts. "Binghe and Liu-Shidi did have a... contentious relationship while this master was... gone." Luo Binghe's fingers tighten in Shen Qingqiu's robes and Shen Qingqiu winces but forges on. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Binghe. I can have tea with Liu-Shidi at one of the pavilions today, and finish things on Qing Jing Peak quickly."

Luo Binghe is quiet as Shen Qingqiu's words settle over then. He butts his head closer to Shen Qingqiu's collarbone.

"But Shizun likes Liu-Shishu."

"Yes," Shen Qingqiu concedes, "But that doesn't mean I want you forcing yourself to be uncomfortable for my own sake. I see him at Peak Lord Meetings, we can always catch up then. This is your home, too, you shouldn't be made uncomfortable in it."

This time the quiet stretches longer. Shen Qingqiu would be inclined to panic and overthink, but he forces himself to breathe instead. It's Luo Binghe who needs the time to think, to actually sort through his feelings instead of conceding to what he thinks Shen Qingqiu wants.

That's one of those things they meditated on while fused. It was much easier when their desires are actually one, but together they had unpacked the snarl of Luo Binghe's chronic desire to prove himself worthy and fear of failing his Shizun.

Shen Qingqiu had spoken, Liu Binghe had to trust that Shen Qingqiu wasn't lying or couching the truth for his feelings. He wasn't for the record. Shen Qingqiu does like Liu Qingge, he really enjoys spending time with his recalcitrant Shidi, but he can arrange those times around Luo Binghe if he needs to.

Liu Qingge is always pestering him to tend his Peak Lord duties and do a mission or two. He'd be thrilled if Shen Qingqiu started going on nighthunts again, perhaps while Luo Binghe has to do his Huan Hua Palace Master-ing or his Demon Lord-ing. Definitely, Shen Qingqiu can at least start hosting their little tea parties outside of the Bamboo House if it bothers his husband.

Finally, Luo Binghe inhales deeply and sighs against Shen Qingqiu's skin before his shakes his head.

"There's no need for Shizun to do that. Shishu isn't that bad." He draws back enough to smile, watery eyes striking Shen Qingqiu all over again. "And Shishu would be sad if Shizun distanced himself."

"I'm sure he'd understand."

"Hmm." Luo Binghe doesn't outright contradict Shen Qingqiu, but Shen Qingqiu knows that particular sound is Luo Binghe's Shizun-Thinks-He-Knows-What-Is-Happening-Here-But-It's-Funnier-If-I-Don't-Tell-Him noise.

There's the thud of a foot connecting with the door frame. No guesses as to whom that announced. Shen Qingqiu glances at the door but doesn't move towards it.

Luo Binghe breathes a laughing sigh out. "Shizun, this disciple has already gone through the trouble of making Shishu's favorite."

"Fine, but you'll tell me if you need space."

Luo Binghe smiles at him, pout and tears already a long-distant memory on his face. He moves past Shen Qingqiu to open the door himself. He's answering Shen Qingqiu, but his eyes are already locked onto Liu Qingge when he says, "Husband takes such good care of me."

"You!" From over Luo Binghe's shoulder, Shen Qingqiu gets to see Liu Qingge’s face flush that particular shade of pink he inevitably turns when in Luo Binghe's radius. "I—I'm on time!" He says, flustered, as he catches sight of Shen Qingqiu.

"No need to defend yourself, Shidi." Shen Qingqiu allows. "You're exactly on time, please come in."

Luo Binghe stretches to lean against the door frame, not moving from Liu Qingge's way. Shen Qingqiu can't see his face but he doesn't doubt it's expression when he says, "Well, Shishu?"

Liu Qingge huffs, aggrieved, before shouldering his way into the bamboo home. "Welcome back," he says to the air as he crosses the threshold.

Luo Binghe's mouth curls into a smile that he shares with Shen Qingqiu over Liu Qingge's head, and Shen Qingqiu decides that he believes that Luo Binghe, despite their rough history, is as fine with Liu Qingge as he says he is.

"This disciple will go get everything ready."

"Thank you Binghe." Shen Qingqiu smiles. "Sit with me, Shidi?"

#kamaeteWRITES #svsss #bingqiu #look at me crossing of aus from that list i EXPLICITLY said i wasnt ever going to write #also look at me not posting EITHER of the fic i said i was bc of the Dark Horse Option #(dark horse option of course being 'plot bunny wouldnt let me sleep at 2am)#yes i wrote this straight thru 2am ton[squints at time] 4:20 blaze it

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apoptoses · 1 year

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Armand lived in Venice during the absolute sluttiest period for mens’ clothes and I gotta talk about it.

Anne constantly used Botticelli as a reference for clothes (who was at his peak in the 1470s/1480s) but Armand was in Florence when Savonarola died, which puts him in Venice the late 1490′s. Fashion was moving fast, there was a big moral panic over society falling apart and becoming too secular, and in Venice it was time to let your inner ho out.

The look: Short. Tight. Made of as many expensive scraps as possible.

Let’s get into it.

The words used to describe clothes in TVA have zero basis in reality but were probably chosen because the average reader can picture a tunic easier than they can suss out what a cioppa was. So for quick reference:

Shift: a shirt (made out of linen, unless you want Armand to be the stinkiest boy in Italy. Shirts needed to be white, which meant they were bleached with piss, and ammonia eats away silk. So he could not have worn a silk shirt unless it was never going to be washed and he was happy to run around with pit stains, which would have been horrible). Considered an underwear layer.

Doublet: the renaissance equivalent of your shirt. Wool or silk, either is fine.

Cioppa: a pleated ‘tunic’ worn over your doublet, always sleeveless. Wool or silk.

Gamurra: your coat. Wool or silk.

Hose: pants, always made of wool flannel

So most folks reading probably picture Armand in something like this, ala Botticelli’s time:

Long cioppa, down mid thigh or to the knee, puffy sleeved doublet, not too risque. But this is like 25 years out of date by Armand’s time, and when he goes shopping it’s with a bunch of teenage boys with Daddy’s credit card. Marius, with his ever present Botticelli hard on, might have had them wear this stuff sometimes but this is not what a fashionable boy at the time would go out and buy himself.

Now the dude on the right here:

This is the look.

Doublet? Tight

Cioppa? Short

Ass? Out.

The entire point of the style was to show off your snatched waist and manly thighs and boy did the Venetians do just that.

Also doublets by this period were basically scraps of fabric tied together to show as much shirt as possible. Which was scandalous because your shirt is your underwear, so running around like this was the renaissance equivalent of wearing a sheer shirt with your bright pink bra exposed.

As a little rich boy and Master’s favorite, Armand would have been able to afford the finest linen, so sheer it would have been nearly see-through. Which makes a helluva statement when your doublet was split down the front like this:

His hose would be bias cut wool flannel for maximum stretch and maximum ass sculpting. Until the later 15th century hose were just thigh high stockings, and your doublet had to be long enough to cover your underwear. Now that doublets were being worn cut off at the waist hose had to be joined like modern pants. But how did you keep your junk safely in the trunk?

Enter the pre-cursor to the codpiece, which I mentally refer to as The Dick Flap:

This was a little triangle of fabric, shaped to hold your goods. It tied to the waist at each upper corner. Hose were so tight you couldn’t wear underwear (!) so you just had to tie your flap tight and go about your day. Like the modern zipper, it made for easy access (do with that info what you will)

This was the first time in European history that men just ran around with their full crotch emphasized and on display, so having your doublet so short it just all hangs out was both sexy and shocking to people.

But how did these pants stay up, you wonder?

Your pants would be tied to the hem of your doublet. Which meant that every day, Armand had to have someone lace him into his super tight clothes. I personally headcanon that he and Riccardo helped each other get dressed every day while he was mortal but you can feel your own fantasy on that one.

Another fun trend during the period was having your family emblem or a symbol of your trade embroidered on the sleeve of your gamurra:

Which Marius would have taken full advantage of, and put his fleur de lis in pure gold thread on every gamurra Armand had.

Here’s some more fashion fit pics just for fun:

Fleur de lis branding on the gamurra and the hose? Marius would have been into it.

The tied on sleeves! The shift pulled out of every seam! The renaissance man ass everywhere!

A plump and juicy young man indeed.

Anyways I hope this was useful or inspirational, or at least makes your next reread of the Vampire Armand more fun. Because the clothing descriptions in there don’t even begin to touch the painted on fashion fantasy that was going on in 1490s Venice.

(also if anyone really, really wants to see details on what Armand would have seen when he put on his clothes, I’m making a 1490s fit with all historically correct methods right now and I can post some of that if there’s interest)

#is it any surprise every living being in venice wanted to bang it out with amadeo when he was wearing all of *that*?#this is probably the nerdiest and most pedantic thing i will ever post #i refuse to feel shame #i hope this inspires some really slutty fanart #or some fic of someone lacing armand into his clothes #i need to edit my lestat/armand fic or i'd just write it myself lmao #armand #marius de romanus #the vampire armand #the vampire chronicles

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youcouldmakealife · 7 months

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Liveblogging the End: Jared (103-105)

Okay, I am back to liveblog the end now that we are ACTUALLY approaching the end several...years...later.

Previous parts can all be found under the liveblogging the end tag in reverse chronological order.

And if you want to read along with me, the series page is here.

I am dropping the part summaries going forward, and instead you'll have random ass mini-essays on occasion, because I have Thoughts and Feelings and the like. Starting with one today, below the cut.

I paused the LBTE last time at part 102, because I realised we were, in fact, a long way off from the end, and I was going to finish the liveblog well before I finished the series. And I was…very right about that. It’s a good place to step back in, honestly: Jared’s just told Deslauriers about his relationship with Bryce (it went poorly), Bryce is about to tell the Flames about him and Jared (it will go poorly), and wedding plans are ramping up. Let’s step back to Alberta, everyone.

Here’s the thing about Jared Matheson: he’s beautiful, he’s smarter than most people around him (not all around him, as he believes, but most), he’s in the 0.001 percentile of hockey players worldwide, and he draws good, kind people around him like moths to his flame (also fellow hobgoblins, to be fair). And he thinks like a Mary Sue: ‘here I am, just this ordinary boy, totally unremarkable, why did Bryce Marcus just trip over his feet looking at me, must be a plot’ and then Bryce’s POV is ‘oh look, it’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen’.

Here’s the other thing about Jared Matheson. He’s the narrator of this story, but he’d be the first to tell you the true hero of this story is Bryce Marcus, and Jared’s The Love Interest. Of course, he’s not exactly the mute but there to look pretty and provide stakes love interest of action movies, or the longsuffering picking up after man baby partner of romantic comedies (…mostly), but he is, indubitably, the love interest of the Official Plotline. And fuck does Bryce love him.

I obviously did not know what I was getting into with Impaired Judgment (the series name that just keeps on getting more and more fitting). First off, I had zero handle whatsoever on Bryce. Jared’s voice I had pretty well from the get go — it changed, naturally, as he got older and more settled, and his ‘like’ per part ratio is down significantly at 24 versus 17 (Bryce actually uses it more than he does in dialogue, now), but I had Jared pretty well pegged.

Bryce Marcus. Holy shit man. That guy was a revelation to me as much as he was to Jared. Dude peeled off his layers like a fucking strip tease at the beginning of IJ(aoe) and then grew to be one of my kindest, most earnest, sweetest characters. What I thought was a trash son had only landed in the dumpster accidentally, and required a rescue.

I’m going to have other random little essays while I go through Liveblogging the End (actually for real this time), because this many words and this many years in, there’s obviously something that keeps me coming back to these boys every time I think I’ve reached a natural end to their story, one more step they have to take together before they’re through. But in the meantime, let’s get to the actual story, shall we.

103 - Exertion

Wedding planning feels particularly good when you’re doing it spitefully. Things Jared wasn’t overly concerned with are suddenly important. Fuck yes they’re going to wear tuxes and have the stupidly expensive catering Bryce wants. If Bryce wants a fucking ice sculpture in the middle of summer Jared would probably okay it right now, just as long as he could send a picture of it to Oilers PR.

One of my favourite things about Jared is how much spite he can inject into all his endeavours.

Bryce comes home after two hours, and Jared is given a pretty solid example of Chaz’s reports of the discrepancy between Bryce’s gloss on the phone with Jared versus Bryce in reality, because his face is a fucking thundercloud until he realises Jared’s looking at him, and once he does it gets very — neutral. The epitome of ‘fine’.

Bryce is still masking a LOT at this point in the narrative. It’s kind of crazy to me how far he’s come at this point and how far he’s still going to go.

Jared’s at least ninety percent sure people have recognised Bryce, so he keeps it low when he leans in while Bryce is taking a long-overdue water break, shirt plastered to his back, and says, “Is it weird to say you look hot when you’re punching things?”

Bryce laughs a little breathlessly. “You hate when I fight,” he says.

“Yeah, but when you’re fighting guys are throwing punches back,” Jared says. “And I kinda like your face.”

This is going to keep holding true, much to Jared’s chagrin. Well, chagrin about the fighting: he’s cool continuing to like Bryce’s face.

They do, however, fuck in their own shower — no matter how many times Jared swears they’re never going to do that again, usually while nursing a minor injury, he gets Bryce naked and wet in an enclosed space with him and things go badly. Well, they go badly for his self-discipline; they go pretty okay otherwise. Neither of them even need an ice pack after

The one lesson that is never learned in this narrative, but hey: no ice pack this time.

“Cool,” Jared says. “You still want that crazy expensive catering company?”

“I mean, you keep looking at price per person, but it’s not that much when we only have—”

“You can go ahead and book them,” Jared says.

“Hey, is mid-July too soon for the wedding? That huge lake house you thought it’d be cool to rent out just told mom they got a cancellation then.”

Jared would literally marry him tomorrow if Bryce wasn’t so aghast at the idea of eloping.

“I know we haven’t ironed out, like—” Bryce says.

“Book it,” Jared interrupts.

Their entire wedding comes together on the wings of spite and Bryce is kind of loving it, tbh.

“Liar,” Jared says.

“Mom,” Bryce complains.

“Bear, you know you’re a bad liar,” Elaine says.

One of Bryce’s best-worst feelings is when Jared and Elaine team up on him. His favourite people are united! Against him.

Erin drops the ‘I don’t know how hockey works’ b.s. while Elaine’s there, which is good, because if Jared had to tell her one more time that icing doesn’t persist during the power play, while he’s already grit-tooth watching the Flames kill it, well —

Jared should not kill his sister.

This act, which was used to bug the SHIT out of her father and brother, is permanently dropped when she gets together with Julius, and Jared and Don both have dramatic ‘I KNEW IT’ conversations with her.

“But you would have had to tell them before the wedding,” Elaine says. “And telling them affects your career more than his.”

“How?” Jared asks. “He’s the high-profile player.”

“That’s my point,” Elaine says. “There’s always going to be a team that thinks his play makes a potential scandal worth it.”

And that isn’t true of Jared. He honestly like — his dad’s been telling him that since before he was drafted, that a team might decide it wasn’t worth the PR headache, pissing off the homophobic fans. And he knew that, intellectually he knew his dad was right, it’s just — he didn’t expect it to go as bad as it did. Maybe that was naive.

Jared would self-describe as a pessimist, but he’s actually the optimist, between him and Bryce. And he’s usually the one who’s right about how things will go down, versus Bryce, who tends to fear the worst, but unfortunately that’s not always the case.

“I worried about him a lot growing up. I’m sure you can — I worried about Bryce a lot. And I don’t worry — I don’t worry about him in the same way now. And you’re a big part of why I don’t. So thank you for that.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” Jared says. “Like, he kind of — it’s all him. He’s the one who did all the work, you know?”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Elaine says, reaching out and squeezing his hand, and Jared squeezes back.

This is probably my favourite Jared and Elaine moment in the entire series. The utter RELIEF it has been for Elaine, Bryce having Jared in his life. That fear has been so ever-present since Bryce was a child, the weight of it coming off was immense. She still worries about him, obviously, but before, she was Bryce’s sole support. Him having Jared is such blessing to her.

“Why’re you still up?” Jared asks.

“Waiting for you,” Bryce says, but he doesn’t protest when Jared pokes him to their room, supervises him getting into bed. Bryce gets out a plaintive “Come to bed,” before he crashes hard, and Jared gets Gatorade — blue, because Bryce earned it — and aspirin, puts them on Bryce’s bedside table in case he wakes up dehydrated and sore, which Jared knows from experience he almost definitely will. And Jared’s never played the kind of minutes Bryce did tonight. He adds an extra aspirin, just in case.

Soft shit, Matheson.

104 - Ember

Two of them are vanilla because Jared’s selfish and Bryce isn’t there, and anyway, no one dislikes vanilla, so it’s a good flavour to have.

I have been asked about the cake reversal, because Bryce has stated that he liked vanilla best when Jared got him a cupcake for a birthday very early in their relationship, and I will say this: Jared was visibly nervous he got the wrong flavour and Bryce was lying to make him feel better. Jared even pegged it at the time. Also as soon as he realised he could have a non-traditional wedding cake he got excited.

(He DOES like vanilla ice cream best, but he is a chocolate cake guy. Jared’s a chocolate ice cream and vanilla cake guy. Complementary couple.)

“I brought guests!” Bryce tells him, Chaz and Ashley walking in the door before Jared can do more than throw the nearest blanket over himself, give himself a little dignity. Not that Chaz hasn’t seen him in less hundreds of times, but context. Plus Ashley hasn’t, and does not deserve to be unexpectedly subjected to it. He twists it so it covers his chest too. He’s sure Ashley isn’t going to be scandalised by his nipples or whatever, but still.

“Beautiful blanket toga,” Chaz says.

He is stunning in his attire.

“We just got the cake decided,” Jared says. “Chocolate and vanilla, which isn’t like, totally traditional—” he pretends he doesn’t see Bryce rolling his eyes at him. “But it’s not like, a cupcake cake or whatever, so.”

“Aw, I like those little cupcake towers,” Ashley says. “They’re super cute.”

VINDICATION FOR HALLA.

Bryce eats it up, and Jared can’t blame him, considering that’s like, his first enthusiastic Matheson reception, barring Erin the irritating shadow and devoted future sister-in-law. Plus her glaring crush when he first came onto the scene. Maybe Jared will amend that to adult Mathesons — though like, his grandma’s a Murray, not a Matheson, so maybe that’s the difference. No hobgoblin gene.

Jared has the hobgoblin gene from both sides, his grandma has simply bamboozled him into thinking she’s not a hobgoblin herself.

It’s going to cost an absurd amount for something Jared will probably never wear again, except maybe to Oilers charity stuff — and even then hopefully he’ll have put on enough weight it won’t fit — and Jared almost protests and puts his foot down on getting one off the rack, despite Bryce’s obvious horror at the idea, but then he gathers all his reserves of spite and lets it happen.

Bryce continues to be very grateful to Jared’s spite in this matter.

Small potatoes is a stupid term, Julius texts back ten minutes later, ten minutes Jared imagines he spent looking up whatever the hell that meant and then trying to figure out why that was a thing, and then throwing his hands up at the English language. It’s easy to imagine because Jared’s seen him do it multiple times before.

And to be fair, it is a pretty stupid term. Like, what is it comparing the small potatoes to? Big potatoes? A pumpkin?

It literally has no defined etymology and that makes me fucking mad. A good idiom requires a root MEANING, even if it’s no longer relevant to modern life. Fuck you small potatoes.

Jared snorts, then texts Julius with a mad face. “I can’t believe you’re sulking,” Bryce says. “I’m not,” Jared says, and then sends Julius three more mad faces and a I cooked for you ALL YEAR and I get nothing. Thank you for your congratulations, Julius sends back twenty minutes later. Whatever we both knew you were a lock., Jared texts back

I love their friendship. Julius is the friend Jared deserves.

It feels vaguely unethical for them to get preferential treatment when everyone’s supposed to be equal, but Jared doesn’t want some random person at City Hall recognising Bryce, so he’s not actually complaining.

Love Jared like ‘I recognise this is the sort of preferential treatment that leads to systemic inequality which is bad…but also I appreciate it’.

“We’re getting married in July,” Jared says, just to like — tell her. She doesn’t care, she’s just telling them how long it’s valid for so they don’t have to get a new one, but it’s just. It’s cool, saying it to someone.

“Congratulations,” she says, both like she says it a billion times a day, and like she means it, means it as much for them as anyone else, no more or less.

“Thank you,” Bryce says, and it’s stupid, but Jared has the sudden urge to take his hand, follows through on it. She knows they’re getting married, it’s not like a little hand holding is going to shock her. Once again, she doesn’t bat an eye.

But then also NOT getting different treatment is meaningful as hell too.

105 - Promise

It turns out while Bryce’s celebrity was kind of handy in getting some strings pulled at City Hall, it is a pain in the fucking ass when it comes to getting an officiant. Jared figured they could get Elaine or Bryce’s grandpa or someone to get a licence for it, like he’s seen before, keep it in the family, but Alberta’s a buzzkill on that one, and they have to go official.

I ALSO figured that and was displeased with the government of Alberta. (But when am I not, you know? If I get the fucking 'tell the Feds' ad one more time during a hockey game so help me--)

Jared doesn’t want to do that. Like, for one, Bryce is going to have a speech that’s a billion times more romantic and great even if he doesn’t put any effort into it — and Jared knows he’s going to put effort in it. Jared’s is going to be awful in comparison. Every time Jared tries to talk about his feelings, it ends up terrible and often insulting. Bryce deserves better.

Look at Jared trying to make this sound like he’s refusing for Bryce’s sake. (though he is right, it is typically terrible and insulting.)

“You know, the ‘I take you, blah blah blah,’” Jared says. “She just wanted to know if we wanted to personalise them. You’re supposed to save the long stuff for the reception, you know, not drag the wedding on too long.”

Did Jared trawl wedding sites explicitly for this ammo? Absolutely. He’s even got the links saved in case Bryce asks for sources. Sources say: don’t do anything that takes over a minute, it’s a bad idea, it’ll bore your guests.

Any sources that said otherwise naturally were discarded because they did not suit Jared’s purposes.

Raf seems like the kind of guy who’d like, light candles at dinner for ambiance, and Chaz is totally the kind of guy who’d buy Ashley flowers ‘just because’, all these things Jared is totally deficient at

He’s got it backwards: Chaz is candle guy, Raf is flowers just because guy. (And for her mom! And sister! Grace’s fam love Raf so.)

lean on your teammates for help, right? If you’re weak on the point, don’t go there, let a teammate more capable have that slot. Teamwork 101.

God I love Jared trying to hide his machinations with hockey talk, like that’s going to fool anyone.

“No,” Raf repeats. “You have to do your own wedding stuff.”

“It’s just my vows,” Jared says.

“That’s the most important part,” Raf says, sounding faintly scandalised.

Raf is more than faintly scandalized, honestly.

“You seem like a romantic guy,” Jared says to Chaz after they wrap up for the day.

“Oh fuck no,” Chaz says. “I’ve already heard like three drafts of BJ’s vows, there’s no way I’m listening to yours too.”

Three drafts? In two days? Jared’s fucked.

“I was going to ask you to help me write them?” Jared says.

“That’s so much worse, no way,” Chaz says.

And Chaz is done.

He looks up some sample vows on his phone while he’s making him and Bryce dinner that night, and they leave him red with secondhand embarrassment. He can’t imagine saying anything even close to what they say. There will be no ‘light of my life’ leaving his mouth, true or not.

Look at this dude just slipping in that Bryce is the light of his life. Two people making this relationship mushy, Jared.

Jared was always kind of, well — he was a studious kid. He got good grades. He prepared for classes. So it seems to make sense to make a list as a starting point. Sort of a ‘Pros and Cons of Bryce Justin Marcus, Except Just the Pros Because Our Wedding is a Dumb Time To Mention the Cons, Unless the Cons are Endearing Ones’.

Can you imagine this dude listing Bryce’s cons during his vows to be ‘fair’. Pro: excellent at hockey. Con: needs to work on controlling his temper on the ice. Pro: romantic as fuck. Con: romantic as fuck.

Fuck. He is not good at this. This is not his thing. The list part, sure, but not the conveying emotion part. He has a ton of emotions for Bryce, but like, saying them? Oof.

Big oof. Especially considering Jared’s history when trying to convey said emotions.

He’s definitely crazy in love to be thinking about Bryce at like, forty, having a shitfit because he’s starting to go bald, or grey, when he’s so vain about his — admittedly terrific — hair. Or Bryce at sixty, buying a convertible all over again and thinking he’s so cool, or at ninety, grin as shiny white as ever because his teeth are all fake, and still being like ‘yeah, I want that guy’.

We all know this man is due for another red convertible decades from now, Jared has resigned himself already.

Jared closes the doc — password protected or not, no way he wants Bryce to accidentally stumble onto that ridiculousness — unlocks the door to the spare room — he was maybe a lot paranoid about Bryce not stumbling in on the ridiculousness — and wanders into the living room after hiding his laptop in said spare room.

Jared treating his vows like state secrets while Bryce has already emailed Ashley like five different versions for peer review.

He’s having a lot of feelings lately. It’s very disorienting. Like, he always has feelings, obviously, he’s not a robot, but he’s having so many. Bryce always does this to him, dammit.

Thankfully ‘how dare you make me feel feelings’ did not make it to the final vows.

#liveblogging the end

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mermaidlighthouse · 5 months

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One thing that I think is maybe not overlooked but is given less gravitas than I think it should be is that once the cursed suit comes into play the weather changes it becomes overcast and foggy.

The cursed suit is cursed it’s a representation of Stede falling into the perception of what it means to be a “CAPTAIN” but also he’s conforming to a lot of the depictions of what it means to be “upper crust”. He’s not interested in how the crew is feeling, he’s passive aggressive, he doesn’t seem to even realize or care that Ed and Fang are missing. Granted it’s been shown that he doesn’t always recognize when people are missing (Where’s Olu? I don’t know. Go find him.) but he’s just made this effort to get Ed back on the ship and has zero idea where Ed is but manages to go on two raids and spend a day twirling around the ship in between with no desire to show Ed his new captain suit?? I’m not saying all their actions need to be tethered to each other but he never even asks anyone where Ed might be even JUST to show him his fancy new suit.

And since I assume every decision in filmmaking is deliberate. The fact that this exists outside of the constraints this show usually takes with time in general, is purposefully making it feel like a dreamscape (also commonly depicted with fog) where time literally means nothing making the actions feel more formalistic rather than depicting reality. It’s literally film language telling you this isn’t actually happening like this EVEN in the reality of the show. If you wanna argue for any episode/part of an episode to be Stede’s gravy basket it would be this one because he needs to come to the decision on his own to give up the curse of living up to the standards set by others. He needs to step away from conforming to “the greats” and what they expect from him. He doesn’t recognize that he’s fascinating on his own, he can’t yet see that he doesn’t need the layers of velvet, brocade, silk, or lace to hide behind.

And so as soon as he lets go of the trappings of what he thinks he should want, ie as he’s pawning the suit off on the French, the fog is lifting and the sun is shining again. Even when he’s telling Ed about the suit he says it was cursed, he doesn’t qualify it with “the crew thought” it was cursed. Which is kind of important because the other aspect to keep in mind is that the weather changes for all the characters. Even Ed and Fang are caught up in the fog even though they aren’t on the ship because Stede’s perception of himself affects all those around him.

The fact that the musical cue for the suit is reminiscent of the Kraken musical cue is a parallel showing both Stede and Ed have “evil” personas. Stede’s isn’t outright named something else but it’s when he allows himself to be boxed in by others. (It’s not lost on me that this is also the period in which Izzy is training him and the implications of how Stede is trying to learn to be a pirate captain from someone who helped create and maintain the Blackbeard persona and that the last time Izzy’s “advice” was shown to be taken Ed took it too far and went Kraken mode).

Stede’s clothing represents his progression through his emotional arc of self discovery…this is the hill I will die on.

#you made him the captain he is today #he’s not a captain today stede #stede bonnet #the gentleman pirate #cursed suit of cuntiness #edward teach #ed teach #blackbeard #the crew of the revenge #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ed x stede #izzy hands #the new unicorn

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act-novel · 1 year

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Starter argument illustrations with no UI overlay (3x scale).

#pixel art #gamedev #reality layer zero #indiedev #debate #argument #illustration #trading cards

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itgirlgyu · 11 months

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TIP TOE ! kang taehyun.

ꪆ୧ boxer! taehyun x fem!reader....ʬʬ synopsis : on a stifling summer day, you ask your friend to teach how to punch, but he might not be the best tutor to go to... WORD COUNT. 1240.

Tip toeing wasn't going to work in Taehyun's favour.

Clementine heat persisted in the afternoon air in the nameless summer of that year; a little cynical, tasting of slight bitter you had found him perched on a wooden bench underneath the cerulean shade of the persimmon tree. His bandaged knuckles supported his chin—your incisive eyes zeroing onto the rubies that embellished the ivory canvas hidden by that book he had been reading, his eyes following the flow of all those foreign words, lost in the universe that belonged in those many pages.

Not for long though.

You had always resembled a storm to Taehyun; mercurial, and merciless. A bittersweet remuneration for all the adventures you had presented him with, awarding him with a joy he had never dared to dream. Like summer, you rushed in with the fury of a thousand suns; a sun-dazed lopsided smile always hanging off your face. Your messy hair, the sweat glimmering like diamonds on your face, and the chip on your teeth—wearing a golden courage on your sleeve, you entice him.

"Teach me how to throw a punch!" You announced with an adolescent alacrity.

Taehyun blinked his eyes in surprise. Your baffling request threw him for a bit before he collected himself and batted his eyelash to get a grip on reality, and assess the situation. Putting his book beside, he rested his chin on his knuckle, silently beseeching you to state the reason, or why you seeked him out specially for this outlandish task.

You shrugged your shoulders—the glimmer in your eyes dimming for a bit before it resurfaced: and he realised you weren't letting this go.

Taehyun stood behind you—a decorous gap between the two of you as he instructed you on how to position yourself properly. Despite the cordial distance between the two of you, Taehyun could rudely feel the sultry heat that radiated off your back through the ridiculously thin layer of cloth you had been donning; your uncoordinated strut as he instructed had not been in his favour either. Those accidental caresses of your back on his chest resembled zaps of electricity that ran through his body every time, and it only got harder, and harder to put on an act as if it had no effect on him.

"Keep your knees bent! " Taehyun hissed, and you followed his instruction, all while maintaining the prior instruction he had drilled inside your head. Your left hand in front of your face to guard it, and your right hand in a fist. Looking at him from the corner of your eyes in a mute attempt to seek his approval. Subtle notions of anxiety etched over your features that only smoothed out with a nod of his head.

Missing the modest smile that slipped through Taehyun's strict instructor demeanour only by a few ill-starred seconds as he wiped his face of any unkempt genial emotions, and focused his keep eyes on your stance, and the elbow that kept jutting out. Taehyun's finger ghosted over the elbow—hesitation dripping from his finger tip as his eyes gazed at the side of your face, you still remained unfazed by the close proximity the two of you shared.

Iridescent pearls made their abode on the softness of your skin. With the sweltering summer heat as their excuse, they touched you so shamelessly. Taehyun's heartbeats picked as did the race between the beads of sweat from your cheek to your jugular; Taehyun's keen eyes followed their movements so meticulously, as did his breathing; It was getting too hard to breath so near you.

"Tuck in your elbow, and assume the right position." Taehyun instructed, stepping backwards to make it seem he was looking over your positions. You nodded enthusiastically and did as he said. One foot above the other, knees get down, and your elbow tucked.

"Now when you punch, you have to use your entire body. The power does not just come from your arm," Taehyun explained, moving in front of you to teach you properly, "but legs, hips and torso. You have to rotate your entire lower body as you swing, like this—"

Taehyun stood beside you, with his right hand near his chin to guard his face, and his left hand in a fist; he turned around to make sure you were listening to him but he had not expect to come across the look on your face—beaming enthusiasm tucked beneath your apple of the cheeks, as they blushed underneath the rays of sun and those sparkles of stars abandoned in your eyes—causing Taehyun fumble with his own thoughts; taken aback by the mirthy radiance.

Taehyun gulped down, and blamed it on the heatwave, and continued his explaining, assuming his position once again, "You have to keep this elbow slightly bent—" He demonstrated with his lead hand, which happened to his left hand, "and your wrist has to be straight."

You nodded, copying his movements with Taehyun watching over you as if he is going to be your coach in the Olympics. Only when he had been satisfied by your wrist, after calling it a limp wrist a few times, he moved onto the next part.

"Rotate your arms as you extend-" Taehyun studied as you did the same as him with his hawk-like eyes, "And when you punch, your fist has to have the palm facing down." He languidly adhered to his own instruction, before turning his focus onto you as copied his action, albeit clumsily. With his hands on his hips, he told you to the sequence once again, but while exerting the force with your lower body instead of the arm.

"You look like a flailing duckling, come on with more power!" Taehyun yelled once more from his seat atop of the bench. His teeth breaking through the soft surface of the peach he had gotten from god knows where, as he 'encouraged' you to do better. Despite the sweet taste dancing on the top of his tongue, the words laced in the syrup that tumbled down his lips felt acrid to you.

"I'M TIRED!" You whined, throwing one more punch with your right hand before matching towards Taehyun and snatching his half eaten peach away from him. Biting near the place he had bitten into without an inch of doubt delaying you—you had tangled your fingertips into the string of his hearts, pulling onto it with such ease, and causing him such an unnecessary dilemma. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he jumped down—further closing in the gap that you were the first one to walk into.

"Didn't know I had such a loser for a student." He enunciated each word with the intention to dig into your ego, bruising it much like your pale fingertips were burrowing onto the softness of the peach you had hijacked from him. If you were going to get under his skin, he had every right to get under yours.

Donning a smug smile on his succulent lips, he took back battered fruit from your hands before sinking his teeth right into where you had been, Peering into the incensed allure that marred your juvenile splendour, the heart strings tugging once again when he noticed how cutely your furrowed brows shook as you tried to control yourself from jumping on him and giving him a taste of your fury.

If tip-toeing wasn't going to work in Taehyun's favour, why should he persist?

PERM' TAGLIST / @full-sunnies @1921choi @impureperhaps @wonioml @minhosdaydreamer @ox1-lovesick

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9w1ft · 5 months

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People often misunderstand what is meant when we talk about Taylor coming out during Lover. In mid 2019 she was still with joe. They had just spent time in Paris together. She was getting ready to release an album full of love songs and marriage themes. So we believe she also was going to come out as some sort of woman who has dated women in the past, however she was going to explain it or label it. She wasn’t about to blow up the whole industry and tell her whole truth and come out as a man-hating lesbian who had lied about all her relationships with men (I’m not saying what her label is, just what she was not going to do.) It was the safest and cleanest way she could come out as a girl kisser, giving her a start at someday, maybe being able to openly be in a relationship with a woman publicly, and while she would have lost a few fans, those who are incredibly hateful enough to abandon her would have already done so with her coming out as a pro-gay rights democrat and then releasing YNTCD. She was letting those fans go already. The vast majority who were left would have been totally fine with her being “bi”, with the added “safety” of being in a long term relationship with a man who she was hinting she was going to marry. It’s unfortunate that things still are the way they are, but that doesn’t change that it is still that way.

So the curiosity around her past with women would have generated a TON of interest from people who had never looked at her before beyond being a pop singer they thought was a more boring version of Britney Spears. Look at all the new fans who came on board with folklore and midnights. Her birthday post this year got 10X as many likes as her 2019 birthday post. 10 times! The vast majority of those 2019 fans would not have spent less on her because she had kissed girls at some point. And this newer type of fan we’ve seen since folklore more than likely would have appreciated her even more knowing that she had this “interesting” side to her. And the gossip would have been through the roof, which is where Karlie would have benefited from it. Keep in mind that right before the masters were sold, Karlie was having her second wedding with Josh, solidifying that a) she likes men and b) kaylor, which would have skyrocketed in the popular imagination, was definitely in the past.

I know some people hate this idea that her coming out would have been some sort of not real, halfway thing, but the reality is that all signs point to that being what was happening. Also some people think saying this somehow invalidates the reality of bisexuality (that joe could have been real or she wouldn’t lie and say she was bi if she wasn’t). But we need to be realistic about how Taylor operates, how much of her private life she owes people (zero!,) and that we do not know her label, and we do not know how she would have stated her label in her come out. Simply saying she wasn’t straight would not be a lie. But we do know she lies to protect herself and that’s OK! She could be bi and also fake dating Joe (and Calvin and Matty and Tom and Travis) because she fell in love with a woman and they’ve been secretly together ever since. She could have once identified as bi and dated men, but realized she’s a lesbian in recent years. She could still be unsure of her label. It doesn’t matter and we’ll probably never know because she does not have to tell us!

But her coming out as someone who has dated women in a vague way that still protects her private life while allowing her to live more truthfully in the public eye and open up more possibilities for the future is what we most likely were going to get.

And then a man she saw as a father figure, who encouraged her to closet for years, and may have known her plans to come out, sold her masters to a man who hated her and she hated, who had financial control over the love of her life (so another layer of betrayal - for Karlie), so both of these men could profit off of her finally getting a bit of freedom from the hard closet. It was sad and devastating for her! She was angry! She called it a new definition of betrayal. And she’s been mourning this situation ever since. But we can see the story of how she got her revenge by probably actively working toward ruining their lives (Mad Woman, Vigilante Shit), karma taking out the trash, and most importantly, by having a life well lived, which is always going to be the best kind of revenge.

So no, her earnings/popularity would not have been hurt by the type of coming out that we envision was the plan for 2019. Any loss would have been gained elsewhere.

thank you for writing this context out, yes, yes.

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vashtijoy · 1 year

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thank you for such a comprehensive answer! does make me wonder though — the game clearly has no qualms with saying that akechi did kill people directly and did cause deaths indirectly (e.g. the bus incident explicitly stated to have caused fatalities). so why on earth does p5 say the subway train derailment caused no deaths?? this is probably a very weird detail to zero in, but i feel like a heavier train in an enclosed space carrying more people than a bus is much more dangerous. ngl it broke my immersion on my first playthrough a little lol

I know what you mean, lol. Tbh, Akechi is obviously intended to be sympathetic—to be the worst case example of what happens when a kid is exploited by rotten adults and has nobody to help them.

This is why there are so many parallels between his tragic backstory and the stories of a lot of the PTs—he has Futaba's abusive family background, Ryuji's single mom, Yusuke's orphanhood and exploitative father figure, Haru's terrible father, and I'm sure there's something there for Makoto as well.

This is why, at the end of the engine room, he's met not with condemnation but with grace and understanding. This is why, though he does feel sorry for himself at the end and mourn what he's lost, he doesn't squirm and beg and justify himself like the earlier palace bosses—with the exception of Sae. This is why he gets a dramatic self-sacrifice and gets to come back as an antihero, who goes all-out to save the world at the cost of his life in passing, because it's in his personal interests to do so. Akechi is intended to have been sinned against as much, or more, than he has sinned.

At the end of the day, Akechi is a Phantom Thief, even though he's not really on the team, doesn't align with their motives, and almost nobody really likes him—just like them, he's a kid who was placed in an impossible situation, and they all get that. Even while they understand the reality of who he is and what he's done.

This raises the complicated "is he a victim" question again, of course, and the reality is that he's both a victim and perpetrator—like, of course, most criminals. Akechi isn't special. His backstory lets us understand what he's done; it doesn't undo it—and he knows that.

So what's going on, if I can go all Doylian for a second, is that there's an attempt to soft-soap the reality of what Akechi does—to keep him sympathetic. He doesn't shoot people in real life, for instance (with two notable attempted exceptions)—he gives them "mental shutdowns", giving him a layer of insulation from not only the physical reality of murder, but the moral reality of it.

Like the moment he sees Futaba unexpectedly in Leblanc, and ends up chattering oh shit, you're Wakaba Isshiki's— Like the moment on 10/11 that he walks up to Sae to see what she has on her laptop, and it's the Okumura death video, and he nearly vomits; he claps a hand over his eyes, and only then moves it to cover his mouth.

This is the reason he's so visibly unsettled a lot of the time in the interrogation room, why he stares at that dead guard wide-eyed for so long, and stares at dead "Joker" for so long during that cutaway to Sojiro that the gun stops smoking. He is—and we are—almost always insulated from the reality of his acts. tl;dr: you aren't meant to have to think too much about what it means that the pretty boy is a murderer and terrorist, if you don't want to. And that's fine! There is no wrong way to understand the game, no wrong way to play. A huge part of interpreting a work of fiction is what we bring to it ourselves.

But if you want to dig into that reality, it is there to be found. The fact that psychotic breakdowns obviously can be fatal, that Akechi performs them for Shido from the start, from two years before canon. That he performs so many of them that he becomes a detective, to make sure they're properly "cleaned up" himself. The fact that he makes two of the Phantom Thieves orphans. That Shido considers "proper use of the Metaverse" to be eliminating those in his way. That he sells Akechi's services to anyone suitably wealthy and controllable he can find. That, at the start of the game, all of Tokyo is terrified of this plague of accidents, of psychotic breakdowns, and that, per Sae, the incidents have been going on at least since Wakaba Isshiki died—two years before canon.

You also have things like the fact that he clearly negotiates what he does, as you can see in the post-interrogation room conversations with Shido—he can talk his way out of kill orders, or postpone them, as long as he doesn't push it, and he does this. There's no reason to think this isn't part of their dynamic all along. Shido manipulates Akechi with praise, sure, but Akechi also manipulates Shido as much as he can get away with.

There's also the SIU Director, on 7/10, complaining about how "he" (Akechi) is insufficiently brutal and doesn't come up with usably brutal plans. On the other hand, Akechi will, later, come up with the vicious detail of the plan to murder Joker in the interrogation room; that's his plan. He's told what to do (we join that incriminating phone call conveniently halfway), but he comes up with the details himself. He's on an arc, albeit one that isn't always obvious, and a large part of it is that Joker is slowly driving him out of his mind.

I just think Akechi is way more interesting, and that his manner and behaviour make far more sense, if he has done a lot of these things. The main thing that draws my eye is the visible lack of response he has to the atrocities he causes. Going back to that nice conversation you both have on 7/11, you know what he's almost certainly just done there? He's triggered the Goodness Foods car crash, which the evening news will report takes place at 8am on 7/11.

(and writing about this clarified so many things that it, again, became its own post oops.)

The crash kills four people. By the time you're on the train to school, the news is reporting this. Akechi seems completely fine with it all, better than fine—except there are tiny suggestions of something else, if you squint, something far below the numbness to what he does and what he's become; far below the bright surface. Something that will later be riveted in disbelief to the dead guard on the floor of the interrogation room.

That's interesting.

#asks #persona 5 #p5 meta #goro akechi #interrogation room

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