#pretty sure this is funnier in my head
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call that a v
a ven diagram
#ventus#ventus kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts#birth by sleep#union x#khux#bbs#pretty sure this is funnier in my head#also this can't be the first time someone's done this but oh well
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Dagon was relaxing in their usual hotspring. Their eyes were closed, but they could tell that Michael just teleported nearby. The angel spoke shortly after.
"We have to talk."
"i'm listening."
"I would prefer to have you standing in front of me and being able to look you into the eyes, when talking to you."
Dagon let out a sight and swam towards Michael. Once he reached the edge he placed his hands in front of him in the snow and pushed themself up. Dagon kept their sight low as they placed his right foot next to his hand and stood up. Taking their time, while the hot water was dripping of them and hot steam was raising from their skin. Scales glistering, Dagon raised his head and locked eyes with Michael.
"Not so much looking into my eyes now, are we?"
"We are literally locking eyes, Dagon. Please put something on."
"Of course. Are we talking business or....?"
"Strictly business."
"Right, okay."
Dagon leaned down to grab his red sash lying on top of his cloths. They put it over their head. Even made sure there were no wrinkles. Gotta look representable. It was the only thing they put on.
"The Grand Duke of hell is ready for the audience with Supreme Archangel Michael."
Michael mumbles something what sounds awfully close to "Stopping Armageddon might have been a mistake"
#I'm sure michael has no problem concentrating during the meeting#dagon is such a dork#I'm pretty sure dagon thinks they look super cool and hot doing that#and michael tries to cope with the fact that they fell for someone so ridiculous#I wrote this instead if sleeping#it's funnier in my head#angelfish#ineffable administrators#good omens michael#good omens dagon#streaming right out of my brain
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Thought I had a normal cold or even maybe the flu these last few days but SURPRISE, we just got news of a covid outbreak at my spouse's facility, so we snagged some tests and apparently the whole household has covid, even though my spouse initially tested negative earlier on Monday when they started staying home to recover. I'm super grateful to be up-to-date on all my vaccines! This sucks, but it could be so much worse.
Get vaccinated! Get your booster shots! Mask up! I really cannot emphasize this enough. Stay safe.
#personal#Makes people arguing with me instead of acknowledging Rani SO much funnier in retrospect#Who shall we fight: a polite dragon who is clearly articulating their viewpoint with studies and research?#OR#dog with covid#lol#I'm pretty sure no one at this point has responded to any of Rani's posts still too which is super unfair#shaking my head fr
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one of the absolute dynamics of all time
#this was way funnier in my head but it's past 5am and i don't care anymore i just wanna go to sleep#the last panel was supposed to be dramatic and anime-ish for comedic effect but i'm pretty sure i failed. sorry /lh#crash bandicoot#neo cortex#n. tropy#nefarious tropy#cortropy#timeray#shitpost#doodle#my art#this was born from a conversation on discord lol
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gale: not a trick, my friend, magic!
tav, fully a bard who gale definitely watched cast a bunch of spells in combat just now:
#playing a magic class makes every conversation with gale funnier#like girl wizards aren't the only ones who can mess with the weave#every spell class casts a little differently and some have different sources but i'm pretty sure bards are arcane spellcasters like wizards#tav definitely sometimes pretends to know dick shit about magic just to see how much he can get gale to dumb down explanations of things#tav: [sends enemies flying with thunderwave and heals everyone's wounds with a little music]#tav five seconds later: magic huh? wow how do you do that?#fel's bg3#oc: tav#i do sort of wish i had the option to equip my lute as a weapon and beat people over the head with it like edgin#that's true bard spirit
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finally was able to catch up w yohane in time for the finale. i could not stop thinking about this
textless + original
#yes this looks horrible it makes it way funnier#i did make it really fast too i only colored it because i figured it wouldn’t take long#is this a shitpost#my art or something#love live#genjitsu no yohane#yohane the parhelion#sunshine in the mirror#why does this show have so many names#lailaps#assuming that’s the spelling but im pretty sure it wasn’t in sunshine#oh well it’s an au#anyway im going to hope with all my heart we get a s2 because SAINT SNOW OH MY GOD THEYRE ALIVE#they remembered them they’re not getting the arise or sunny passion treatment#plspls it’s been so long and ive listened to all their songs so many times already#lonely snow planet has been sooo stuck in my head lately
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[listening to any random song] I could make this about Maul
#hm i should make an original post tag#this time it was a song about missing life in the countryside#i especially think the small town vibe fits so well with the vibe of dathomir culture that i cultivate in my head#where they are not the insular matriarchal society where males are pretty much slaves of the females that the rest of the galaxy thinks#but more like. a society where they call each other brothers or sisters and they mean it. they are a community.#and yeah actually this fits savage better since he'd have more memory of growing up in there#but it's funnier to say maul#considering my url. and all that.#i think. the 'the fat and sweaty hug from some father they call junior... six bucks‚ you cheat! violist‚ alcohol‚ a woman's leg#and a whole animal on the fire‚‚ god willing.. with the cousins in the creek.. a rancher was the first crush...'#<- the feeling of community. a small party‚ with everyone joking around. everyone's family. and of course. gay#because i do NOT believe a society where most men only interact with men and most women only interact with women would be mostly straight#like. yes i do believe straight people exist and yes i am using gay as an umbrella term. but surely they can't all be straight??
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This is what having a conversation with my adhd, autistic, traumatized, and depressed ass is like lmao
Aaand this is why I mask
#OTHER THAN the its not that bad part 😰 i wouldnt say that#everything else im pretty sure ive actually said before lmao#the entire first part/intro is my absolutely horrendous verbal stims and tics#'im penis prager' just go through my head every now and again completely devoid of context and i giggle everytims#i grew up in a household that took prager u unironically seriously 💀 so theres nothing funnier to me than these videos
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i spent my last week having very little sleep so
effects of no sleep that if i have then tim drake's white (asian) pasty ass also has:
my eyes water when i yawn, all the time. doesn't matter my level of sleep, but if I'm sleep deprived it looks like i snorted coke or went to a funeral. sometimes it even looks like i snorted drug over that sweet sweet coffin wood.
little goblin tim drake probably is giving a whole ass new meaning to red-eye.
i get very sleepy doing anything i don't love, like maths. my eyes start to close. i sleep and yet I'm awake. i will suddenly be very awake if you talk to me. otherwise, I'm drifting dude. i start to sleep sitting up so I don't look like I'm asleep. everyone looking will see I'm drifting. i will be drifting. i won't remember anything afterwards.
tim drake full on sleeping during briefings with his eyes wide open like a heathen. i still have not mastered this ability but i know he did.
my laugh turns unhinged. i become the joker. i will laugh about anything really, even about the spanish inquisition.
tim will full-on laugh WITH the joker around his sixty hour of no sleep.
i start doodling in my notebooks if I'm in class, usually stuff that makes no sense (or eyes). i might try and copy stuff, but my BEAUTIFUL calligraphy will just start to become unreadable hieroglyphics. my little round letters will become spikey. i have fully wrote "triangle chicken" in the middle of a physics mind-map.
tim drake's briefings with a "deez nuts" or taylor swift lyrics in the middle of it. little doodles of poison ivy or a crowbar or trees. or just cups of coffee.
i started rumbling (growling? is a weird ass sound) after yawning. there's no explanation.
he rumbles once so loud jason thinks he is possessed by damian
#tim drake#this was sitting in my drafts#this was probably funnier in my head#dc#batfam#batman#sleep deprived posts#dc robin#dc comics#dc core four#im so tired#young justice#red robin#tim drake is a goblin#he is goblin material#also I'm pretty sure he's asian#i won't accept white tim drake
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Jacob Holland/Billy Butcher: Damnit universe! I'm a monster hunter, not a father!
#the boys#the sea beast#sea beast netflix#billy butcher#jacob holland#karl urban#bones mccoy#star trek#i havent seen the boys but im pretty sure thats a theme in s2 and s3#this was definitely funnier in my head#but i will subject you all to it anyway
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Have you ever had a ship that you were SO SURE was gonna happen, and then it just didn't?
anon who hurt you
#seriously though. I cannot think of any off the top of my head at the moment??? maybe???#that's how I'll feel is blake & yang (rwby) don't get together but like. theyre on a slowburn so I'm 100% sure it'll happen eventually#the only thing I can think of is from. lmao the newer mortal kombat movie#which SUCKED#but I was SO sure that two of the characters were going to get together#I don't even remember their names lmao. but it stuck with me bc I was so disappointed#so ?? that's one I suppose#but other than that I've gotten pretty lucky#sorry for answering only in the tags I just think my first answer is funnier on its own#smokey answers#anonymous
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I think sometimes about that time the subject came up of what my grandparents would leave my parents when they died (no grandparents were in the room).
And while there was some speculation over my father's parents, my mother's mother had lived on a widow's pension for most of her life. So none of her seven children were expecting a fat inheritance.
And my dad was like, "Ah, yes! The Gaertner family fortune, split seven ways, should be enough to take us allllll to Eat'n Park!"
This got some laughter and heckling from the rest of the family, my mother included (Dad knows his audience). He went on to say, "And not just one course either! We can get whatever we want!"
"So we can get dessert?" my mom asked.
"Oh yeah! We can get dessert, we can get appetizers, a box of cookies to go....."
And then years later, when my grandmother died at age 94, her will allocated most of her savings for a funeral and a small wake. The rest was to be split equally among her kids.
It takes a while for these kinds of financial things to process, so my mother received her inheritance a few months later.
Each sibling received $200.
Which, as it happens, was exactly enough to take my immediate family and a couple of cousins out to a really nice dinner at Eat'n Park.
#original#death cw#grandparent death#I don't know if it's wholesome content but I don't think it's cynical content. it's sweet to me anyway.#absolutely no one begrudged this woman for raising seven kids alone on a widows pension and then not having savings#I'm pretty sure my memory on this is fairly accurate. I know that my dad's first line is verbatim. I even remember his intonation#one of those sound bites that just stuck in my head.#maybe because I was always fascinated with my dad's ability to tell jokes just up to the line of what's acceptable without crossing it#my little autistic brain was busy filing away data so I could be funnier.#not a lot of people could get my mom to laugh about a joke involving her mother's death. I sure as hell wouldn't have tried#my grandmother was a very very nice lady#tiny little Irish woman whose mother moved to America just a few years before she was born#I am 5'4 but she thought I was so fucking tall XD#Eat n' Park is a popular diner chain in PA; like Denny's but good. I went here at 5am after every cast party in high school#and I did order whatever I wanted at that meal.#btw unless they've changed it the best thing on the menu is the Oreo hot fudge sundae
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....
#failed to pee quick enough again for my drug test TWICE with the SAME LADY 😭#shes a bitch on top of that#constantly venting about her patients in the waiting room while im getting ready#i asked if i could try again later bec i read that this happens to people and u can wait like 3 hours to see if there's any luck later#but she was like 'i cant keep waiting on u'#which okay fineeee this is annoying for both of us but fuck you#and she said to try again Monday...BUT SHES THERE AGAIN MONDAY#i cant do it again with her 😭😂 even my mom said she was a bitch#bec while i was trying to go she popped her head out and was yelling at the waiting room people#a guy even walked out#the same guy she was just complaining about to me beforehand bec she said he didn't sign in twice#but I'm pretty sure he speaks another language or was confused#i brought that point up and all she did was say the machine has other language options#anywaysss to make it worse (or funnier) i asked my mom to call and see if i can switch to a blood drug test#so she called the school.. two people transferred us over before saying they'll connect us with the cna coordinator.......#THE CNA COORDINATOR WAS MY TEACHER!!! 😭😭😭😭 so my teacher has a voicemail on her phone from a mother about her student#WHO IS PEE SHY 😭😭#i just want a blood test 🥹 or hair follicle test idc but the pee is not happening#if i have to try peeing again it'll be attempt number 4 💀#update:#...my teacher was not happy that my mom left the voicemail for me 💀#my mom said she could tell she wanted to yell as soon as she answered the phone but my mom played it nice-nasty so it toned my teacher down#by the end#yet again she barely answered our question - at least not with a professional yes or no#but a 'i have introvert children too but she needs to learn how to advocate for herself' 🙄no shit but im tiredddd & you're a massive bitch#overall no blood test for me 😭 i have to go back for a third time to embarrass myself by the same tired lady#but seriously im so tired of my teacher always yelling or answering a question with a lecture thats 99% not about what i asked#my mom hit her with the 'i understand and agree that she needs to learn how to advocate for herself etc BUT i keep#telling her that theres no harm in asking questions' 💀 as my teacher was trying to bitch my mom out right off the bat#there's obviously much harm 🥴 i cant imagine the email id get back if i asked
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dumb comic based on something my sibling does to me
pretty sure this was funnier in my head but whatever this took me way too long
#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#mikey tmnt#rottmnt raph#donnie tmnt#mikey rottmnt#leo rottmnt#leo tmnt#tmnt leonardo#tmnt donatello#raphael tmnt#tmnt raphael#tmnt mikey#rottmnt mikey#donnie rottmnt#raph tmnt#rottmnt fanart
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My only brain cell thought up an idea and so I made a thing
#it took me 5 minutes#low effort#I promise it was funnier in my head#pretty sure this counts as shitposting#mahou shoujo#magical girl#anime memes
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Nimona headcanons I wrote instead of sleeping
Sometimes the boys forget that Nimona isn’t human
Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes
But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up
One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring”
Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it
Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice
The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in
Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo”
They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do”
You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses
That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out
Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them
It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again
Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out
I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones
Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion
(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM)
(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf)
Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut
But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?”
It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them
They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!”
When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram”
It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing
After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise
Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around
And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask
Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all
Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?”
And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”
#nimona 2023#nimona movie#nimona headcanon#nimona#ballister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin#ballister x ambrosius#goldenheart#I just know these accident-prone dorks don't go to the doctor#which i respect because neither do I#Ambrosius would rather memorize the eye chart than admit he needs glasses#and that is a hill I will die on#I feel like NImona freaks out at changes in appearance because it reminds her that things don't stay the same forever#she's immortal the boys arent#she forces them into frequent checkups because she doesn’t want to find out too late that something is wrong#she wants to know that they did everything in their power as soon as they could of something does come up#and best case scenario they live very long happy lives#but I like to believe that they get reincarnated and find each other in every life#because I'm sappy like that#excuse my sleep deprived rambling#I’ve found so many issues with this post
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