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hainethehero · 4 months

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Steve Rogers Trauma: A TED TALK

Why is it that any kind of commentary/analysis on Steve Roger's trauma has to be met with comparisons to Bucky or Tony's trauma? Or most of the fanfics I read completely gloss over Steve's trauma?

Some of y'all legit do not care or are blind to Steve Roger's trauma throughout the Captain America & Avengers films and it shows. And this isn't hate to any fanfic writers but rather an observation of most stucky and stony fanfics which seem to minimize Steve's character & trauma in favour of highlighting their fave's. And of course it's fine that people want to write about Bucky or Tony or even Nat's trauma, but MOST TIMES* I've read these fics and they all have an intentional disregard for Steve's traumas.

And this speaks to the wider discourse around Tony, Bucky & Steve- the three characters most written about in mcu fanfics.

Because why is it that anytime I bring up Steve's PTSD or his illnesses or the hell he would've gone through pre-serum, people always HAVE to add in their 2cents about, "well yeah & Bucky went through worse." Like.???? No, I'm not talking about him.

I absolutely love Bucky and he's one of my favourite characters in both the comics and the MCU but, respectfully, this ain't about him.

I'm talking about Steve and his life. The crap he would've had to deal with both in public and at home. Especially the horrors both he and Sarah would've gone through because of Joseph Rogers who was a terrible person and an alcoholic who beat up on his wife and sickly kid.

And even post-serum when he's completely healthy and living in the future now, I'm still seeing popular narratives about "Yeah he's alive now & hasn't gone through half of what Bucky's endured over the past 70yrs." OR "He's had it easy compared to Bucky who was being tortured by HYDRA."

Um, no one's saying Bucky's treatment under HYDRA was a good thing??? But we're talking about Steve here, not Bucky?

And how he was literally frozen in a state of purgatory & how traumatic it would feel to be ripped out of it and then basically thrown to the new world on your ass without any kind of therapy or help. Most people make it seem like Steve was in a Sleeping Beauty kind of sleep and then woke up completely fine. And I will admit the MCU has been the main culprit of that narrative because they deleted so many scenes that humanized Steve Rogers, that now the gen pop thinks:

he's perfectly fine

has zero trauma

should complain about nothing

hasn't had it hard like Bucky or Tony

is a lesser hero because of all of the above

I recently had a convo with a friend & we were talking abt the scene in Avengers 1 when they were all at each other's throats. And they said that Tony was right about Steve being a laboratory experiment & everything special about him came out of a bottle. And I'm like... yeah nah, that's the lazy ass writing that Whedon perpetuated that now makes Steve one of the most misunderstood heroes & people in the MCU. Because he was special before the serum because of his consideration of others. He was special because not only did he hate bullies, but he also went out of his way to protect those that couldn't protect themselves KNOWING what that confrontation might cost him as a chronically sick person. Tony needed a whole ass arc about literally witnessing & living first hand what his weapons were doing to innocents like Yinsen & his people, to change his ways. Steve didn't have, nor did he need any of that to make him special. (AND BEFORE THE TONY STANS COME FOR ME, I LOVE TONY, HE'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVES IN THE MARVEL COMICS & MCU) But this hatred for Steve is ridiculous.

And once again, it's the MCUs fault because they made Tony the ultimate hero of the Avengers at the expense of Steve Rogers' character. Him being able to prove he was "worthy" all along by lifting Thor's hammer was a cheap payoff in the end, much like the entirety of Endgame was. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

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urdepressedslut · 1 year

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I wanna be yours

♡ Pairing: 40’s!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, 40’s!Pre-serum Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: You were childhood friends with Steve and Bucky. You had always had a small crush on Bucky. But now as your older, you realize that harboring a crush on Bucky is hard. Especially watching him flirt with girls that aren’t you.

♡ Warnings: very cheesy, angst, fluff, mentions of alcoholism, mentions of parent death

Smoothing down her dress, she took a last look at herself in the mirror. She was excited to finally go out with her boys, things had been rough at home with her dad, resulting in her seeing Steve and Bucky less.

Switching off her room light, she was flying down the stairs, catching herself from falling by the last step.

“Quit running down the stairs, ya gonna crack ya head open one of these days.” Her father announced from the couch.

“Sorry daddy, just excited.” She giggled, fidgeting with the end of her dress.

Standing up, he set down the whiskey bottle, walking over to her.

“Where ya going?” He asked her, receiving an eye roll.

“Dad, I told you this morning.. I’m going to the Stark Expo thing.”

“Oh yeah..” He muttered, scratching the back of his neck for forgetting. “When ya gonna be home?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen them in awhile— I wanna spend some time with them.” She said solemnly, not wanting her father to feel guilty for being the reason why.

“By them, you mean Steve and James?” He asked with a raised brow, not particularly fond of his daughter hanging with those boys.

“Steve and Bucky.. yeah.” She corrected him, slipping on her boots.

“I don’t like em.” He mumbled, uninterested and heading back to his spot on the couch.

“You never did.” She huffed, walking towards his sitting form.

Her body sagged at the sight of him nursing yet another bottle, grimacing she straightened her posture and slapped on a fake smile.

“I gotta go, love you daddy. I won’t stay out too late.” She promised him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, letting his gaze focus on the wall in front of him.

She knew her mother passing would be extremely difficult for him, they had loved each other wholeheartedly, truly made for one another. He had gone downhill mentally, killing himself slowly with the aid of alcohol. Nights on end she’d find him passed out, bottle never scattered too far away from his limp grasp. And it was always the same, he’d feed her empty promises that it would never happen again.

She would never disregard his feelings, but she had lost her mom too. She never had time to fully process her mothers passing, having to babysit her almost always drunk father. All she knew, was that she shouldn’t be living her youth like this. But she could never leave her father.

Feeling the familiar burn in her nose, she took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions locked away. Not wanting to ruin this night, plus she didn’t want to mess up her makeup.

____________________________

Half walking, half running, she was eagerly trying to make her way to her boys. When suddenly, a loud crash alerted her. Walking closer to the alley behind the theater, she spotted Steve in a defensive stance, while a much larger man laughed, winding his fist back.

Ignoring she was outmatched, she sprinted, jumping on the mans back, slapping the sides of his face harshly.

“Hands off him!” She shouted.

Taken by surprise the man grunted from the impact of their bodies colliding, wincing as his skin stung from the hard smacks. Growing annoyed, he reached behind his head, grabbing a fistful of her hair and swinging her around to his front, finally getting a glance at his attacker. He smirked disgustingly, pulling her closer.

“Well, I sure do like a girl with some fight.” He practically growled into her ear.

Thrusting her knee up into his crouch, he released her immediately, stumbling back into Steve who caught her. Doubling over, he hissed angrily, straightening back up to face the two.

“You bitch!” He spat, ready to advance towards them.

Steve quickly shoved her behind him, throwing a wobbly punch towards the man, only for him to catch it and strike him across the face, sending him back into the trash cans face first.

“Hey!” Bucky shouted, pulling the man by his sleeve towards the alley entrance. “Pick on someone your own size.”

(Y/n) seeing the bully was taken care of, she kneels down to check on Steve.

“Stevie, you okay?” She asked worried, grabbing his chin and tilting his head side to side, checking the damage.

Steve embarrassed, gently pushes away her hands, making her frown.

“I’m fine.” Steve tells her, not making eye contact.

“What were you thinking?” She hissed, angry at him putting himself in danger.

“Oh yeah, I just love getting beat up (Y/n).” He spat back.

“Can you just not get in a fight for one day?”

“Can you just shut up?!” He shouted, while (Y/n) was taken aback.

“Hey, that’s enough!” Bucky stepped in finally. “Steve, come on man. She cares about you.”

Steve felt his anger fade at the sight of (Y/n)‘s saddened form. He felt bad for being mean after not seeing her for a long time.

Bucky gave Steve a look, turning to (Y/n) fully.

“You alright doll?” Bucky asked her softly, lifting her chin with his fingers, making her cheeks heat up.

She loved it when he called her that.

“Yeah, I’m good buck. Just a tender scalp.” She replied, rubbing the back of her head, soothing the sore skin.

Bucky smiled at her toughness, pulling her into a bone crushing hug.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n).” Steve spoke.

“It’s fine Stevie.” She assured him, not wanting to drag out the argument.

When he pulled back, it dawned on her (and Steve) that he was in uniform. And he looked so damn handsome.

Steve and Bucky were talking back and fourth, while (Y/n) was practically drooling over his new look. Taking him all in head to toe, and she realized that him like this was doing things to her.

It only took a few extra seconds for her to realize what this meant, and her face dropped.

Before she could comment on her concerns, Bucky had pulled Steve and her to his sides.

“Gotta get Steve cleaned up, doll.” Bucky told her, watching her cheeks grow red.

“Where are we going?” Steve asked him.

“The future.” Bucky said cryptically, making (Y/n) and Steve laugh.

________________________

(Y/n) was shaking with excitement, getting time with the boys, going to the Stark Expo. The night was going great, until it wasn’t. Bucky had brought along two girls, dates for both him and Steve. She was offended at the audacity, spending his night with two random strangers. She missed when it was just them three.

Yes, she realized that Bucky couldn’t read minds and he had no idea of her feelings for him. But that didn’t stop her from being upset, she did however try her best to not let it show.

Unfortunately the girl Bucky had brought along for Steve wasn’t interested, and instead clung to Bucky. Now having two girls swooning for him. The girl holding hands with Bucky squealed in excitement, pulling Bucky along to watch the show ahead. Leaving Steve and (Y/n) behind, dragging their feet.

“Yup.. this is so much fun.” She mumbled, trying to come up with an idea.

“What’s wrong with you?” Steve asked, offering her popcorn from his bag.

“Thanks.” She grabbed some, “It’s just.. why did he have to bring.. them.”

“No idea, but she definitely doesn’t like me.” Steve said, keeping his head down.

“Ignore her Stevie, she doesn’t realize how awesome you are.” She told him, making his scoff.

“But that can’t be the reason why you’re in a mood.” Steve said blankly.

“Sure it can.”

“No, it’s something else.” He insisted, making (Y/n) roll her eyes.

“Definitely not.” She fired back, her eyes locking with a handsome stranger from far away.

“Mhm.. you’ve got that look you get when you have a bad idea.” Steve pointed out.

“Okay just this once.. you may be right.” She agreed, but wanted to follow through.

_____________________

Bucky was talking with the two girls, aware that (Y/n) and Steve had wandered off. He didn't want to ditch the girls, but all he really wanted was to spend time with his two friends. Thinking about it, (Y/n) had been off ever since he introduced her to the girls, and it made him wonder.

Just as Bucky was about to excuse himself, to try and find his two friends. He spotted (Y/n) walking over, her arm hooked with a random guys.

She had watched Bucky's face go from confused to annoyed in a second, making her smirk deviously.

"Hey Buck, mind if we join you guys?" She asked, suddenly all happy and willing to hang with the girls. Bucky tried to force a smile while he glared at the man.

"Who's this?" Bucky asked her, raising his brows.

"Oh right, this is Danny." She told him.

"My names actually Don." The guy corrected her shyly.

"Same thing." She muttered, kicking the side of Don's leg.

Bucky watched the interaction between the two with a confused look, was he was missing something?

"Hey Sarge, can we go dancing?" One of the girls asked, batting her eyelashes. Making (Y/n) clench her teeth.

"Of course. (Y/n) you wanna join?" Bucky asked, side eyeing Don.

"We, would love to." She said a little too harshly, emphasizing the we, making sure he got the point.

Bucky nodded, still confused at her behavior. Had he done something wrong? He didn't understand the switch up. What he was sure of on the other hand, was that he did not like Don touching her.

Before she could walk away, arm in arm with Don, he stopped her.

"Hey (Y/n), can we talk?" Bucky asked her, watching her defensive posture melt and she nodded, excusing herself from Don.

Making their way to a more secluded spot, (Y/n) was the first to speak.

"Can we hurry this up.. uh, got a hot date waiting." She said, trying to sound uninterested with wherever this conversation was going.

"What's going on doll? You've been acting…off." Bucky started with, not sounding like himself. She's never thrown herself at guys like that, and he didn't like it.

"I'm not, just found someone I might like." She told him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You barely know the guy's name." Bucky argued, watching her cheeks grow red from being called out.

"So? You barely remember the names of the girls you've been with." She shot back, seeing Bucky be taken aback.

Bucky had it hit him there, she was jealous. He tried not to smile, but he couldn't help but think how adorable she looked, at all her effort in trying to make him jealous. Which kind of worked.

"Are you jealous doll?" Bucky teased, watching her swallow and her cheeks grew a deeper red.

"Hell no, and don't call me that." She told him, her heart beating erratically.

"Doll, what's going on?" He asked her again, but less teasing and softer.

(Y/n) took a deep breath, knowing that if she was ever going to tell him, it best be now. She didn't want to wait for him to get back from war, or worse... never get the chance.

"I don't like that you brought those girls around… okay?” She started, looking down at her boots, kicking pebbles around.

Bucky lifted her chin, urging her to continue. Swallowing nervously, she decided this was it. No going back, this could ruin their friendship.

"I wanted to be your date... I wanna be yours." She quieted down at the last part, embarrassed. She knew he most likely didn't feel the same way, and from his silence, her eyes started to water.

"(Y/n), can you look at me." Bucky asked her finally, his heart breaking at the sound of her sniffle.

She inhaled deep, her bottom lip quivering, buried emotions deciding now was the best time to show. But otherwise looked up and met his steel blue orbs, ones that held no judgment.

"I’m sorry for never saying anything, guess I was confused too. But you’ve always had me wrapped around your finger, hate that I didn’t see it sooner.” He confessed, keeping her gaze in a gentle, affectionate hold.

“You want me too?” She asked shyly, not believing what she was hearing.

“Doll, I want you… all of you.” He told her, stepping closer, wrapping his arm around her, pushing on her lower back. Their fronts meeting, she faintly gasped.

“I don’t want you to leave me.” She whispered, a tear escaping through her lashes, but was quickly wiped away by Bucky’s thumb.

“I don’t want to either, but I promise I’ll come back to you.” He declared, pulling her shaking form even closer. “Now i’ve really got something to fight for.”

With a sad smile, (Y/n) stood on her tippy toes, giving Bucky a lingering kiss on his cheek. Making his stomach flutter with excitement.

“Now, why don’t we find Steve and get out of here.” He suggested, wrapping his arm around her waist, keeping her trapped against him.

“What about the girls?”

“Don’t worry about them. Plus i’ve got my girl right here.” He told her, watching her cheeks grow red again, which he would never get over. Loving the effect he had on her.

“And Don?” She teased, earning a chuckle from him.

“Don’t care, you’re mine.” He told her, giving her an adoring look, loving the way he could say she was his now.

Deep down they had always loved each other of course, but now it was something fathomless. They had already gotten a crumb of what things could be like now, and they craved more.

A/N: poor don deserved better😭 thank you for beta reading @foreverrandomwritings 💕

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #40s bucky #light angst #fluff #cheesy #marvel #marvel imagines #oneshot #reader insert #james buchanan barnes #the winter soldier #sebastianstan #steve rogers #pre serum steve #40s steve rogers

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