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littlemisshyperfixation · 8 days

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Yoongi Fic Recommendations

a - angst f - fluff s - smut

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Series

In the Margins (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ You weren’t sure what he would look like. His writing made you think of a cabin nestled among tall pines, a well-worn cardigan, a scotch neat, and a wistful wisp of smoke seeping into the air from the bowl of an unattended tobacco pipe. What stands before you now is a studio apartment in the city, cigarette butts, coffee stains, and a scowl. There’s definitely been a mistake.

Fix You (f a) ⊹₊⋆ When you take in a stray cat, you have no idea he’s secretly a hybrid trying to escape his past. Can you help him heal?

desolate (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

One Shots

Set Me Free (a f) ⊹₊⋆ Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to?

back-burner (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?

Love Language (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ Your boyfriend obviously loves you, but his silence has you questioning if he *wants* you. If you could only get past your damn insecurities maybe you could appreciate what you have.

27 Phone Numbers (f) ⊹₊⋆ Yoongi has gone through twenty-seven phone numbers over the last ten years, and you haven’t changed yours since high school.

sweetner (f s) ⊹₊⋆ You used to know how he sounded when you were wrapped around him, but circumstances have pulled you apart and sent you scattering in opposite directions. Feelings shouldn't reappear so easily by simple words, but when you find yourselves in the same place once again, this is exactly what happens.

One Chance (f) ⊹₊⋆ A musical genius, a guy with a bad reputation, your assigned partner for your final project. And the last thing you ever would have expected.

Seasons Change (a s) ⊹₊⋆ Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.

All That Holly, Jolly Sh*t (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ You haven’t seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if they’re not… where does that leave you?

Now We Reign (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?

take five (a f) ⊹₊⋆ you're min yoongi's nurse and you have a crush on him, and he gives you five chances to ask him out - he never said anything about accepting though.

The Final - Day 02 (s) ⊹₊⋆ You've been Yoongi's go-to companion for the past few years, well aware that's all you were going to be. Despite your very real, growing feelings for the rapper, you took what you could get every time. Now, you're backstage at day two of the final leg of his tour when another member takes an interest in you. Will it be enough to make Yoongi realize he's got competition?

hello soulmate (f) ⊹₊⋆ your first day on the job doesn't turn out the exact way you envisioned

Sugar Rush Ride (s) ⊹₊⋆ You produced a song based on your hidden desires for your fellow producer and promised yourself that tonight, things would change. You were done pining after him, but then he arrived at the listening party.

fuck being friends (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ as if watching the guy you were hopelessly in love with hook up with another girl each weekend wasn’t enough, he also happened to be your best friend, making things extra complicated. and it only gets worse and worse once he finds you crying in the bathroom at a party one night.

Take One (s f) ⊹₊⋆ There are three things which Yoongi was certain of. One, he was a big star in his field of work. Two, he had a huge cock, one to rival many of the largest names in his industry. Three, he can only find pleasure these days in written word.

Illicit Favors (f s) ⊹₊⋆ When your editor tells you to re-write the chapters of your book because the sex scenes are weak, suggesting you write them from experience, what do you do when you lack any kind of sexual experiences in general? You go to your friend and ask him for help with it.

Bet On It (s) ⊹₊⋆ What's a little wager between enemies? How about if it's your body on the line?

subscribed (s f) ⊹₊⋆ you find out that youtube isn’t the only site he uses to satisfy his subscribers. what do you do with that information?

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orangechickenpillow · 6 months

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Wyll is the one who starts it. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since Karlach visited her parents' grave -- replaying her words over and over in his head, feeling them in his heart. One night it gets too much, the thinking, so he just does it. Karlach gets up from the fire, giving her usual cheery "good night" to everyone, giving her nightly hug to someone. It changes every night, but this time it's Tav. And she gets her usual mismatched chorus of replies from whoever's left around the fire. Sometimes it's only Lae'zel and Astarion who are still up, so she only gets a grunt and a "Yes, good night then." Sometimes it's a "Sweet dreams" from Gale or a vague "Night" from Shadowheart as she waves her away. Tonight, the chorus consists of notes sung by most of them, as they're all still up. And Wyll says it.

"Night, Karlach. Taters."

The woman stops, a smile frozen on her face even as her eyes express something else entirely a moment before tears start to well.

"Oh dear," Astarion hums from where he's lounged back like a cat, and the mild, uninterested concern seems to be more for the rest of them than Karlach herself. Karlach, whose face has begun to smoke as a few tears evaporate on her cheek. But they're gone just as quickly as they were there, and then she's making a noise that usually means someone is about to get crushed in a hug, or kissed, or both.

"I... I haven't heard that in-- ages," she chokes, reaching for Wyll -- hesitating for just a moment (she's come to understand that it's usually better to ask before touching someone -- a lesson learned quickly thanks to some of her more guarded companions) -- before grabbing the front of his nighrshirt and tugging him into a fierce, warm hug. His wine spills and he nearly drops the glass moving it out of the way so it doesn't get crushed between them. Shadowheart, sitting next to him, takes it on instinct, and then Wyll is hugging Karlach back (almost) just as hard.

"Awwwe, Wyll." She leanes back, a few more tears swimming in her firey eyes. Then she tilts her head down to bump their horns together. "Taters," she murmurs, cupping his face in her hand. Wyll feels warm and knows it's all the love coming off of his companion. All the love that's stored in a single word that doesn't really make sense, but means so much.

"Well," a familiar haughty voice pipes up. "Wasn't that just sickeningly adorable."

Astarion gets a light smack to either of his shoulders -- one by Gale and the other by Tav, who is watching the whole affair with some tears in their own eyes and a smile on their face.

Yes, Wyll is the one who starts it, but he's not the only one who does it. Much like Karlach's "good night"s and her doled out affection, taters becomes a thing, and her "good night"s often accompany the expression of love. And the chorus of replies occasionally include it, too. Hers and Tav's nightly parting involve whispered "Taters" to one another. Wyll continues to use it, earning him many a gentle headbutt from the woman. She even gets a sighr and a reluctant "Fine. Taters, Karlach" from Shadowheart, who tries to hide her smile at the firey woman's excited squeals -- the excitement barely contained within her body.

Some of her conpanions are more giving with the word than others.

"I don't understand," Lae'zel says one night, taking a rare break from sharpening her sword to join them by the fire. "This... 'taters'... it makes no sense."

"It just means 'I love you,'" Karlach replies, shifting enough to knock her boot against Astarion's. He's lounging between her legs, arm propped up on one of her bent knees.

"Chk! Love. It's bad enough that there is one word for it, let alone as one as foolish as 'taters.'"

"I think it's delightful," Gale announces swirling some wine in the glass that Wyll lent him.

"You would, wouldn't you," Astarion snorts airily. Karlach bounces her knee -- the one Astarion isn't leaning on -- a sure sign that she was stopping herself from hugging him.

"Yes, well," Gale continues. "Some of us enjoy feeling emotions like love and pleasantness."

"I enjoy feeling emotions. Carnal lust, animalistic pleasure, the glee of driving a knife into someone's throat, among other things." Astarion lists them out on his fingers.

"You walked into that one, my friend," Wyll says with a smirk, crossing his legs -- crossing one of his ankles over Gale's shin.

"Love is not something I've often considered," Astarion suddenly says, sounding like he's talking to himself. "Lust, of course. On rare occasions, I've even liked a few wretched souls, but love... Thats.... well--" He falters a little, tsks, and then lifts his chin. "It's new."

Karlach is practically vibrating now. Astarion opens his mouth, eyes narrowing-- and then he rolls them and says "Gods, you might as well do it or our little bonfire isn't going to be the only thing lit ablaze" and it's permission enough for Karlach to shoot forward and wrap her arms around him.

"Astarion," she draws out his name, her voice pitched higher with excitement and emotion until it's almost bursting. She hooks her chin over his shoulder and nuzzles into him. "Taters," she whispers.

From across the fire, Tav notices the briefest moment of vulnerability flash across his face. It's raw, and Tav can see it's heavy, but his eyebrows knit in a way that suggests it's not exactly unwelcome. But then it's gone, and their usual Astarion returns.

"I am not saying it back," he says with the air of one brushing off the front of their tunic. Which he would have done if Karlach wasn't still hugging him.

"That's probably for the best, fancy boy, 'cause if you did, I'd have to kiss your pointy face."

"Watch out, fire girl. Remember, I bite," he threatens, a dark smile on his face -- feeling much more comfortable with this kind of affection. Maybe it was his taters.

Because taters isn't just about taters. It isn't just a word to say "I love you," it's a way to show you care.

"I still find it strange and... repulsive," Lae'zel bordely comments.

Astarion clicks his tounge, rolling his eyes once again. "It's like how you feel about that damned sword, gith."

"Ah," Lae'zel nods. Rising to her feet, she holds the hilt of her sword up in gesture. "My sword offers much better company," she says, then without further comment, heads off toward her sharpening stone. Everyone around the fire groans.

"Now you've done it," Gale mutters.

"Me? I haven't done a damn thing. She was going to do it anyway," Astarion leans forward, propping an elbow on Karlach's knee to better point an accusatory finger at the wizard. Karlach is grinning like an idiot.

"Taters, Lae," she calls to the retreating githyanki.

Lae'zel stops, and for a moment, nothing happens. And then she turns around, an expression that could have almost been confusion on her stony face.

"Yes, I suppose that--" she pauses, her voice no less coarse than usual, but perhaps there's a bit of thoughtfulness in it -- like how one might consider a strange corpse to see if it held anything valuable. "...Taters."

It's nothing more than a word, and it's nothing more than Lae'zel trying it out, but Karlach's face is doing that thing again and Astarion can feel it a second before it happens -- too late to do anything but mutter a "Shit-- Gale!" as if the wizard could do anything to save him from Karlach throwing her arms around his middle and squeezing him like a giant teddy bear. A very pointy teddy bear.

"Did you hear that, oh my gods," she cries, burrowing into Astarion's shoulder. His limbs flail and his legs nearly smack her horns as she shakes him like a dog with a chew toy.

"Kuh--" his arms fly up. Gale is laughing. Wyll is laughing. Astarion swears he'll kill them both. "Karlach, please--"

"Oh right," she says, and at least she stops shaking him. "I always forget you're all tiny and breakable."

"I beg your pardon."

"I mean, she's not wrong," Wyll says from behind his glass of wine, and Gale whistles low.

"This is your fault," Astarion turns his pointy finger to Wyll. "If it weren't for you, none of this would be happening and we could go back to being perfectly cold, untrusting strangers with a common goal."

"I don't know, Astarion, I think you like it here with us."

The vampire straightens up and lifts his chin. "Don't think too hard, darling, your horns might fall off."

"Ha!" Karlach laughs. She's still got her arms wrapped around the smaller man's waist, but they're hanging loosely now. No one mentions how Astarion has rested his forearms over her's. "That's how I lost mine," she jokes, tilting her head in gesture to her broken horn.

"And no one's surprised," the vampire nods knowingly, giving her hand a pat.

Suddenly, the grind and scream of steel against stone fills the night.

Everyone groans.

"That's it," Gale says, rising to his feet. "I'm going to hit the sack. Preferably hard enough to knock me out so I might get some actual rest. Good night, everyone," he nods. "Taters."

"Taters." It's an echo as everyone replies automatically. Unconsciously.

Almost like it's become a habit.

Oops.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 karlach #bg3 wyll #bg3 astarion #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #bg3 tav #shadowheart #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 lae'zel #lae'zel #astarion #karlach #wyll ravengard #bg3 party banter #bg3 headcanons #writing drabble

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witchthewriter · 11 months

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𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

a/n: I made a quiz ‘Which Son Is Your Old Man’, so you can find out once and for all who you would be best suited to!

Warnings: swears, mentions of violence, smoking, drugs

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

𝐉𝐚𝐱 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

・Yes, he does spend a lot of time doing club business. But it also means he’s home randomly throughout the day.

・His speciality is making breakfast; eggs, bacon, toast, french toast, waffles etc

・Yes, he did develop the skill from all the one night stands he’s had...

・But hey, at least now you’re the one that reaps the reward!

・Doesn’t snore in his sleep, but does toss and turn a lot

・Sometimes he has really really bad nightmares. He doesn’t want to wake you up, so he goes and has a smoke outside

・Really loves chewing on ice cubes. When you get McDonalds, he’ll eat everyone’s ice from their drinks (obviously after their done with it)

・When you’re feeling down; physically or mentally, he’ll read to you. Jax bought you a new edition of your favourite book for your birthday and he’s so used to holding it in his hands by now.

・Really likes when you light candles when he gets home, he prefers them over the overhead lighting

・Doesn’t like loud sudden noises - definitely has undiagnosed PTSD. He’s gotten really good at hiding it, but some days - when he has really long showers, you know it’s a bad day

𝐎𝐩𝐢𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧

・When he isn’t doing things for the club, he loves to work in ‘the shed’.

・He has a lot of projects going on - making garden beds for Gemma’s events,

・Opie usually ends up trekking dust, shredded timber and so on throughout the house. You make him have a shower as soon as he’s finished working outside.

・But you can’t lie, he does create some beautiful things.

・He made a dining room table - and the detailing was so amazing you nearly teared up

・Opie is great at painting as well, honestly, he’s just good at general renovations. Somehow he knows how to do stuff around the house - unclogging drains, fixing pipes, changing lightbulbs, stopping leaks etc

・Opie’s like your own handy man!

・Secretly a cat person. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t mind dogs. They’re great, but cats are so unpredictable - without the risk. He finds them so interesting.

・Loves Disney movies, especially the cartoon version of Robin Hood. You’ll find him humming the song about Robin and Little John

・Likes that he towers of you and will put things out of your reach just to rile you up

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐬 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐝

・Actively cleans up after himself and you.

・Really likes a clean home, and he’s lived on his own for a long time, so he knows how to run a house

・He also grew up around a lot of women, so he knows how to cook some great meals

・Chibs was also whipped into shape by these women, so that’s why it’s ingrained in him...

・Knows a lot of Scottish drinking songs, and he always sings them when he’s had a few too much to drink

・And his voice is actually quite lovely

・He also sings in the shower

・A loud gruff Scottish man singing in your shower always brightens your day

・Automatically turns the kettle on when he gets home (and will make tea for two, knowing exactly how you like it)

・Not a lot of random visitors, he likes to keep business and his home life separate. Even though the club is his life, he likes having his own space

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐚𝐧

・Many, many takeout and movie nights

・Especially when he’s been gone on club business

・Does the washing and folding for both your clothes. It was his main job when he lived at home too.

・Also mows the lawn without a shirt on, so that’s...a fun sight to see (he likes showing off in front of you)

・Loves the movie Avatar; would definitely go into a deep dive of how it all works and how they created it.

・Would die if you showed interest in it as well. You bought him a book about the characters and he spent a whole afternoon reading it

・Surprises everyone with how much he loves books

・A man of few words, he actually has really profound things to say. Some of it can be really poetic...

・Likes having his shoulders rubbed, and in return, he massages your feet

・Is really good at looking after you when you’re sick. He has a lot of homemade recipes; soups, oldwives tricks etc. (Except the term ‘oldwives tricks’ shouldn’t be overlooked. A lot of their

𝐓𝐢𝐠 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

・Rescue dogs galore

・Tig hates seeing any animal hurt, but he has a special place in his heart for dogs

・Big fucking snorer, and is out as soon as his head hits the pillow

・Hates cooking but doesn’t mind doing the dishes - yeah he’s fucked up that way

・So you handle the food; he’ll get the groceries, but for the love of god he cannot make a proper grown up dish

・In return, he doesn’t mind doing the vaccuuming and mopping (he would so dress up in a maid’s outfit and do it)

・Whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night, he goes into the loungeroom to watch cartoons - like popeye

・Cried while watching Titanic btw

・Oh and has a stash of different types of drugs. Nothing too hardcore though.

・He also makes you have an unregistered firearm so you can protect yourself

・Also loves comic books. He’s a DC kinda guy...yes, his favourite character is Joker

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veryferaldistributions · 1 year

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My Favorite Quotes from the “Bride of ReAnimator” Commentary (Not Included in the “Gay” Compilation):

Herbert: “Go. Home.”

Bruce: “Oh yeah, lot waiting for me there. How ‘bout that front room? Pet the dog! Find the finger eye puppet. Have some leftover spaghetti!”

Jeffrey: (about the Bride) “So she’s Meg. She’s Gloria-“

Bruce: “She’s the virgin-hooker with the twinkle toes.”

(Herbert and Francesca are barricading the lab door.)

Bruce: “Why is she helping you?”

Jeffrey: “Because she knows there are creatures out there (laughs) puking Cream of Wheat!”

Herbert: “You’re better off without her.”

Bruce: “Thanks for the advice, Dear Abby!”

(Herbert is talking about the feet of the ballet dancer.)

Bruce: “Y’know, Herbert’s parents made him take ballet for five years…”

(Over the course of the film commentary, they make several jokes about how Chapham is always seen with food.)

Herbert: (at Chapham) “What are you doing in here?”

Bruce: “Eating!”

(EDITED POST TO ADD MORE QUOTES/FIX ERRORS IN FIRST BATCH UPON REWATCH)

(Dan gets stabbed in Peru.)

Jeffrey: “Your kidney’s been lacerated, but you’ll be alright!”

Bruce: (sees his own name in the credits) “Who’s that?”

Bruce: “How did they get down there (Peru)?”

Jeffrey: (dryly) “By a plane, Bruce.”

Jeffrey: (singing to credits music) “Oh MEEEEG, my loooove, where did you goooo my deaaaar?”

(Movie cuts from Peru to Miskatonic.)

Bruce: “Oh yeah, like those two would be let back in the States!”

Bruce: “(Bride) is the ‘Frankenstein’ of the series. If the second is ‘Frankenstein,’ what’s the first?”

Jeffrey: “…Re-Animator.”

Bruce: “What is with my HAIR?”

Jeffrey: “Well, that was your choice!”

Dan: “Herbert, I have something to tell you.”

Bruce: “I’ve found a new hairdresser.”

Dr. Graves: “Who’d want to steal body parts?”

Jeffrey: “Ohhhhh, I think we knoooow.”

(Herbert is stealing Meg’s heart.)

Bruce: “Like Dan wouldn’t have enshrined that already.”

Herbert: (at Hill’s head in the morgue) “How did you get in here?”

Jeffrey: (mumbling) “…I hate this scene.”

(They both laugh at the puns anyway.)

Jeffrey: “Nice wheels, Dan.”

Bruce: “You bet. All in eight months. Got through customs. Now I’m driving a Dodge Swinger.”

Bruce: “I can’t get over my BeeGees haircut.”

Jeffrey: “Barry Gibb lives!”

(Later in the movie.)

Jeffrey: (singing) “Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin’ alive! Stayin’ alive!”

Bruce: “Of course this house has a basement.”

Jeffrey: “It was one of our requirements.”

Bruce: “One of your requirements.”

Jeffrey: “Well…”

Herbert: “Security.”

Dan: “From what?”

Herbert: …

Jeffrey: “From what?!”

Bruce: “Do I merit an answer?!”

(Herbert is showing Dan the reagent.)

Jeffrey: “DRINK IT! DRINK IT!”

Bruce: “Y’know, Herbert has this nasty habit of shoving things in Dan’s face. Iguanas, reagent, amniotic fluid-“

Jeffrey: “Dead cats.”

Dan: “I’m moving out!”

Jeffrey: “Why?”

Bruce: “Because, I like this heart patient in the hospital MUCH more than you!”

Jeffrey: (laughs) “What, you gonna move in with HER?”

Bruce: “No one will ever get rich overestimating Dan’s bad taste.”

(Herbert is trying to convince Dan to reanimate Chapham, next to the boiling pot.)

Bruce: “Sure…why not?”

Jeffrey: “Lemme have some tea first!”

(Cuts from the basement to Francesca, in Dan’s bed.)

Francesca: “Daniel?”

Bruce: “Why am I down there? WHY? What am I thinking about?”

Jeffrey: “You needed to get another prophylactic from the lab.”

Dan: “Herbert!”

Bruce: “I’d like to have a nickel for every time I’ve said ‘Herbert’ in these two movies.”

Dan: “It helps me to think of you as Meg.”

Bruce: “Betcha that makes her feel good. No wonder she dies!”

(Gloria flatlines.)

Jeffrey: “And that made her die.”

(Herbert and Dan are reanimating the Bride.)

Bruce: “Don’t try this at home.”

(Herbert puts on the gun holster.)

Bruce: “Wild, wild West. Herbie, get your gun.”

Herbert: “There is my creation!”

Jeffrey: “So put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!”

Bruce: (singing Rick Springfield) “I wish I was Herbie’s girl!”

(The Bride is trying to seduce Dan.)

Bruce: “Oh boy. I certainly wasn’t paid enough for this.”

Bride: (to Dan) “You made me?”

Herbert: “I made you!”

Jeffrey: “Yeah! Get that straight, babe!”

Dan: “You’re not Meg. Meg’s dead.”

Bruce: (flatly) “Wow. What a revelation. How edifying.”

Herbert: “Make a note of it, Dan! Tissue rejection!”

Bruce: “You write it down, ya little squirt! I’m tired of taking your notes!”

Dan: “You’re alive.”

(Falls to his knees.)

Jeffrey: “And I worship you!”

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mushroomates · 3 months

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merry headcanons

as a child, he sincerely believed he could talk to cats. this ended at age 13.

can do cartwheels. pippin cannot. this is brought up in arguments more frequently that imagined

has a filter, contrary to some of what he says. he also acts as pippins filter

possesses an uncanny ability to sniff out weed. can tell the quality of such by smell alone. can also tell you where it may have come from, and how it was grown

has a small patch of cannabis growing in a back room of his estate. it used to be a sunroom but is now a greenhouse/weed lab.

merry religiously documents it’s growth, soil conditions, exposure to light, and most importantly: potentness

unfortunately this has manifested in a very strong but unpleasant tasting plant. this sort is hearty, can grow under any conditions, but really just tastes/smells. absolutely awful.

he did try and recruit sam into helping him until sam realized what was going on and wanted “no business in such a practice”

uses samples saved from the whole Saruman takedown and propagates what he can. also keeps some for comparison. he is very organized with this and has a whole spreadsheet he references frequently

merry also likes to know where everything is at all times. he’s not super weird about it but everything does have its place and he will know if you move it

got into furniture making. makes. questionable, ‘innovative’ ‘contemporary’ and ‘unique’ pieces

in reality it’s because he likes to make chairs that specifically make people want to leave because of how uncomfortable they are

like. he loves his family. but sometimes the get the squeaky chair. there’s a table with one leg slightly smaller than the rest that makes everyone uneasy. a couch that is just too low to the ground and cushy, so that you sink in but your legs are cramped. there’s a chair with the back curved slightly to steep, so when someone sits in it their posture is terrible. it also has a shorter than normal seat so you can’t scoot forward either

it’s not torture. people can endure it. it’s just mean to make sure no one does for very long.

this set is strategically in the foyer, so if he likes you well enough you’re granted entity into the living room with normal furniture. which is very tastefully decorated and has framed artwork of his many nieces and nephews.

he absolutely adores the littlest members of the shire and will spoil them however he can

draws maps of the most absurd things. just. maps that no one even asked for but are delightfully absurd

“directions to bag end, avoiding all dogs, aunts, sheep and red mail boxes” “brandybuck estate, but only the trees” “every pub in the shire, and who to avoid on your way back from a good time”

and, famously, “pippins brain”

this is a circle, and in it, two singular dots

one saying “pipe weed” and the other “bad ideas”

there use to be a third dot, that said “lack of cart wheels” but that has been a angerly scribbled out (culprit still a ‘mystery’ )

decent navigational skills

of course, no one listens to him.

judges the annual pie contest

is actually. really good at it. has a very defined palette dispute the copious amount of weed he smokes

“is that rubarb? it adds a wonderful complexity to the strawberry and pistachio- though, i’d recommend not using molasses next time; instead try brown sugar.”

like. merry. why do you know these things.

also judges the pie EATING contest. this is because there is a scandalous amount of cheating and he was part of a huge pie-in-the-trousers bust and now sits in the jury as an esteemed member

pippin thinks he’s a traitor to the cause. this is also because pippin was a primary perpetrator in said pie-in-the-trousers bust.

has two pet rabbits. by pets i mean fellow members of the “raiding farmer maggots crops” club, who he saved from a few rodent traps and took home

merrys morals, to recap, does not allow him to permit pie-crimes, but he is totally okay with casual thievery

did not have the heart to said rabbits as they were cut from the same cloth. he let them out the back yard once he got home and they just. kind of. stayed

their names are gandalf and gandalf because ones gray and ones white

is a great babysitter. mature enough to not get into trouble but still has a childish sense of adventure, and lots of stories

he is the trusted fun uncle. pippin being the reckless fun uncle.

he acts then out more than tells them to the kids, as his way with words is not so great as his way with sound effects.

also makes his own sock puppets and will occasionally put on small shows for the kiddos during family gatherings. fan favorites are “merry takes down the witch-king” “the march of the ents” and “the hobbit who couldn’t cartwheel” (the last ends with the hobbit simply learns to accept that everyone has different talents- something not true to life because pippin still hasn’t accepted this)

is high key very smart. doesn’t do a lot with this. he prefers to enjoy the simple things in life, and has found that so long as he makes sure he and his are looked after, life can be very easy.

that being said. he is not as care free as he’d like to be

is very prepared and well organized. has rations for days and a go-bag, even in his later years. everyone mocked him for years but it took him maybe ten minutes to grab everything and join up with frodo and sam. he also has extra go-bags, which is why it only took pippin 15 minutes (an extra five because pippin lost his bag about two seconds after merry gave it to him)

merry got the “anxiety” hobbit gene that manifests in being (only slightly) a prepper. there’s cans of beans and fruit as well as bottled water hidden in the cellar of the brandy-buck estate. enough food to last nearly five years, but for a hobbit, three.

this gives him peace of mind, as he knows he is prepared for whatever life gives him

he also knows he has braved many things before and anything that may come now will be significantly less of a hardship

he will never have to face down another witch-king, or more importantly, go without second breakfast

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whatwooshkai · 16 hours

Note

for the smoke & mirrors ask - have you had 16 yet?

"You do it! You're the leader!"

"I am not asking! Boulder, you ask."

"Okay-"

"Actually, nevermind. This is stupid. I'll just use my hoses-"

"No! You are not spraying me in the face again, you almost broke my optics-"

"Oh shut up, you were fine!"

"Barely!"

"Blades is correct, that level of pressure-"

"Stay out of this, Chase!"

"Seriously, guys, I don't mind asking-"

Cody sighs, lowering the lift all the way down before the rescue bots break out into an all out brawl. Five minutes of listening to them bicker and yet he still has no idea what they want.

"Hey guys!" he announces, and every helm snaps over. Cody is suddenly aware of the size difference. "Whatcha talkin' 'bout?"

The rescue bots' gazes flit between Cody and each other, seemingly having a silent conversation before Boulder pipes up and says, "We want you to wash our faces."

"Huh?"

"Our faces," Chase repeats. "We would like you to wash them."

"Yeah, I heard," Cody says, giving them a lopsided smile. "I just wanna know why."

"Well, back on Cybertron you'd have to go to a detailer to get your face properly cleaned," Blades explains. "Lots of small seams, big servos, it's not exactly easy to do it yourself. But we figured, since your servos are so small...?"

None of the rescue bots are looking at him. Boulder is very interested in their hands, Blades is scuffing his feet, Heatwave is tapping a beat on his arm that makes Chase's finials flick in time.

Oh my god. Are they... embarrassed?

Cody coughs into his fist to stifle a laugh. His dad says it all the time: "For a race of advanced alien robots, they're just as bad as us."

"I can wash your faces!" Cody assures them. "Frankie'll be here soon, and she'll be happy to help too!"

There's clear embarrassment radiating off the bots, but Cody decides not to let them stew in it and runs to the storage closet to grab the supplies, fumbling with his comm link at the same time.

"Hey, Frankie," he says, pressing his cheek to his shoulder as he puts the car soap in a bucket with some sponges and towels. "How far are you?"

"Walking in now," her voice crackles over the comm line. "Why?"

"The bots asked for their faces washed, so we're doing that," he explains, grabbing a second bucket.

"Why...?"

Cody shrugs, then realizes she can't see him. "Because they asked. Isn't that a good enough reason?"

Frankie sighs, but there's a smile in her voice. "I guess so. Coming down the lift now."

"Don't get off, we'll need some height." Cody carries his supplies out of the closet, past the bots who are currently greeting Frankie, up onto the lift beside her. He sets down their supplies and they divide them between each other, and Heatwave fills their buckets when prompted.

Boulder and Blades come forward first, sitting down and letting Frankie adjust the lift so they're at the perfect height.

Cody has been close to the rescue bots before. He sits on their shoulders, they carry him around in their hands, sometimes they sit him atop their helms! But he realizes that he's never been this close to their faces, and now he understands why they wanted this.

Boulder's faceplate isn't perfectly smooth, there are small grooves and seams and scratches and scuffs, there's little divots under their optics that almost look like tear ducts. Cody dips the sponge into the soapy water and starts on Boulder's cheek, but nearly drops it when the rumbling starts up.

Blades had slumped over immediately, leaning his chin onto the railing of the lift, and while Boulder was doing a better job of keeping themselves upright, twin rumbling rises from their chests, the unmistakable purr of an engine.

Frankie and Cody exchange looks, not wanting to ruin the moment. Like cats! Frankie signs excitedly, and Cody can't help but grin, because they are.

There's a shocking amount of dirt on Boulder's face, so it takes almost two hours to get the towel to come out clean when he wipes it across their cheek. Blades has fully fallen asleep.

Heatwave's tapping his arm impatiently while Chase has busied himself with a book, but his tapping foot is giving him away as well.

"All done!" Cody announces, clapping his hands together, and Boulder blinks sleepily, before giving him a big smile.

"Thank you!" they say brightly, standing up shakily and picking up Blades with them, making room for the other two.

Chase takes a spot in front of Frankie as Heatwave sits in front of Cody. He leans onto his hands to brings his face close enough for Cody to reach it.

Heatwave looks exhausted already, and far worse for wear than Boulder did. It almost seems like there's dark circles under his optics, there's dirt crusted into the scar on his cheek and in the seams of his jaw, and there's a dent just below his left optic.

He's asleep in minutes.

All four rescue bots' engines purr in time.

#this one got away from me #they are such cutie patooties #also frankie and cody know sign because with all the shit doc greene gets into there's no way that man is not hard of hearing #also sign language is so cool and I would love to learn it #transformers rescue bots #tfrb chase #tfrb boulder #tfrb heatwave #tfrb blades #cody burns #frankie greene #woosh answers #smoke and mirrors au #thanks for the ask!!#s&m ask game

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1-800-hwahui · 2 years

Text

search for clues || w.jh

member | stoner shaggy!jun x velma!gn reader + high sex genre | smut, humor word count | ~1,700 warnings | marijuana use (smoking with a pipe), shotgunning, soft dom!jun, cockwarming (barely), oral (m receiving), implied oral (reader receiving), jun has a cat pipe this is canon, blond jun notes | lowercase intended, implied established relationship, both jun and reader have smoked before, scooby doo related shenanigans. reader is completely gender neutral, no mentions of anatomy, but they wear a skirt & wig. enjoy! - 💒 disclaimer | this story is a work of fiction. both jun and reader are portrayed as consenting adults above the age of 21. always make sure your partner is someone you trust and have talked with beforehand while sober. i wrote this based off my own personal experiences with marijuana, so keep in mind not everyone will experience the same feelings. remember to practice safe, consensual sex as well as safe recreational weed use!

minors dni - you will be blocked

join my taglist!

“do you think scooby doo ever smoked with shaggy?”

you shove jun, giggling. “he’s a dog, dumbass!”

“who says dogs can’t smoke?”

"uh, everybody?"

you’d been proud of the way your matching costume had turned out. you spent weeks looking through malls and thrift shops for the perfect orange skirt and sweater, and the brown wig you’d ordered online had been thoroughly trimmed and combed out to look like velma.

but when you’d gotten to the party, the first thing wonwoo had done was laugh, pointing out the irony in jun’s costume. “everybody knows shaggy’s a stoner,” he grinned.

so when you’d left the party and taken an uber back to jun’s place, he’d immediately pulled out his stash so you could “get high with scooby doo”, as if it were some lifelong dream of yours. but after a couple hits when you found yourself sitting on jun’s couch, slowly grinding against him and sneaking bites of halloween candy in between drags from his pipe, you decided this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. especially after he playfully suggested cockwarming, too.

your wig and chunky glasses frames lay long abandoned on the floor as you slowly start to sink down onto his cock. he clutches his favorite pipe in one hand, the black one shaped like a cat, and you whimper at the pressure, sighing when he finally bottoms out inside you.

he gives you a minute to adjust, and you take the glass pipe from his hands for another hit, blinking slowly as you wrap your lips around the end. you inhale, sweet smoke filling your lungs as you hold the breath in before pushing it out.

“what’s that thing she says? jeepers?” jun asks, reaching for a twizzler from the bag on the side table. his cock pulses inside you as he adjusts his lap and you whine, every sense somehow both heightened and diminished at the same time.

“no, it’s… jinkies,” you say after a long pause.

time always moves slower when you smoke, the world crawling by before your eyes. everything else seems to fade until you forget if you’ve actually said the words out loud or just in your head.

“what–” he shifts on the couch, “–what do i say?”

“mmm, i dunno,” you sigh, your head filling with a warm fuzz that makes you forget what you’re talking about. jun’s living room is so nice, you notice. you’re acutely aware of the texture of the couch beneath your shin as you straddle jun’s lap, your skirt bunching up around your thighs.

it’s pitch black outside, the quiet hours of the night a stark contrast from the party you came back from. you feel your eyes start to glaze over as you stare off into the distance outside the window, focusing on the neighbor’s halloween decorations outside. the glow of the orange lights is so mesmerizing, and–

“zoinks!”

you drag your gaze back over to him. “huh?”

“shaggy says ‘zoinks’ and velma says ‘jinkies’,” jun grins, proud of himself for remembering.

you think for a minute. "which one says, 'let's search for clues'?"

"the hot one," he answers, his faraway gaze fixated on your chest.

you look down at where he’s staring, then take the rest of his twizzler and put it in your mouth instead. "the blond guy?" you ask, chewing.

your mouth feels fuzzy as you savor the sweet taste, carefully focusing on the sensation so you don't accidentally bite your tongue.

"hey. i'm a blond guy," jun says after a while, as if the realization just hit him.

his words pull you out of your haze, lost in thought. "is that a clue? are you gonna– solve the mystery now?" you giggle at your joke, unintentionally clenching around him.

he groans, his hands falling to your waist as he starts to absently rock you back and forth against his hips.

you lean forward and grab onto his shoulders, the pipe still in your hand. “you’re not supposed to move, juniee,” you giggle, pretending to pout.

“but i want to,” he whines and closes his eyes, but his hips still.

“mmm…” you trail off. your hands find themselves tugging on the hem of his shirt, pulling it slowly over his head. your fingers trace his skin, observing the texture, the feel of his body like you’ve never noticed before. the tiny scar on his shoulder, the way his nipples pebble when you run your thumb over them lightly, each soft hair on his strong arms.

you allow yourself to get lost watching his muscles flex as his hands gently take the pipe from you. he flicks his lighter over the bowl to reignite it, taking a long, slow hit from the smooth glass. you feel his hands on the back of your neck, pulling you in closer into a kiss, roughly pressing his lips against yours. he parts his lips and you breathe in, inhaling the sweet smoke from his mouth, feeling a rush in the back of your throat as you hold it in before tilting your head away to exhale.

“feel so good,” you sigh, the cloudy feeling in your mind amplifying as the high starts to settle in. you start to grind on his lap. “want you to fuck me now.”

jun leans his head back against the couch, letting out a low moan. he arches his back, lifting his hips up off the couch to thrust into you. if you were sober, the rhythm would’ve been painfully slow, but you’re so relaxed that it feels just right.

your mind is hazy as he pushes up into you, experiencing every tiny movement a thousand times amplified. you can feel every vein of his thick cock dragging against your walls, and slowly you start to move your hips up and down to match his rhythm.

suddenly you feel cool glass on your skin, and you realize he’s still holding the pipe. you plant your hands on his chest and he mewls, slowing his hips for a second. you reach down to take the pipe from him and, with much effort, set it on the table behind you, making sure it doesn't spill.

your mind starts to drift, and suddenly something else seems more appealing.

you push down on his slim waist, forcing him to stop before you lift yourself off of his lap with shaky legs, the clouds in your head not doing you any favors helping your coordination.

“don’t stop, baby, please, ‘s so good,” he rasps, canting his hips up into the air.

“i wanna suck you off,” you say, enunciating every word carefully.

his lips part in a lazy smile, clearly satisfied at your suggestion.

your legs feel like lead as you hit the floor, but his arms are out to help you down. you feel his glazed eyes watching you as you position yourself at his feet, gently tugging his corduroy pants farther down his legs.

"your dick is so pretty," you sigh absently, resting your hands on his thighs.

you stare at his cock, admiring the pretty veins and the pretty head flushed red and the pretty way it leans against his stomach, waiting for you. your mouth waters at the sight, and you wrap your lips around him, pushing him down your throat eagerly.

"mmph, teeth," he winces, his hand sliding through your hair to pull your head up a little.

"aoury," you mumble around his cock, but you make a conscious effort to keep your teeth from scraping him.

you start to move again, wrapping your free hand around the base of his cock where your mouth can't reach. his grip on your hair tightens and loosens, gently encouraging you.

he lets out a moan, high and breathy, when your hand moves to his balls, tracing the rough skin before cupping them in your hand. his hips buck up into your mouth, your nose pressing against his abdomen.

you can feel him twitching in your throat, and you're acutely aware of the drool collecting at the corners your mouth, saliva pooling around his cock.

"so good, mmh– 'm gonna cum," he groans, his head falling back against the couch.

jun always looks so pretty when he cums, you think, dragging your eyes up to his face to watch him twist in pleasure. his mouth hangs open, and his chest heaves up and down with each deep breath he takes.

you tug your hand up and down along his cock as he whines, and his breath hitches when he finally cums, his release pouring into your mouth with a high-pitched sob. you hold your mouth on him, swirling your tongue around his length until overstimulation starts to set in and he tugs you off of him, panting.

when he finally catches his breath, he helps you stand up before flipping you onto your back on the couch. you shiver as he crouches down to push his face between your legs.

“what do you think, baby?” he says, staring up at you with a mischievous grin. “should i look for more clues?”

taglist | @shuatm @yeosayang @seungminluv3

#svthub #lh: collab #smut #jun smut #wen junhui smut #junhui imagines #junhui scenarios #junhui x reader #jun x reader #jun x you #jun x y/n #junhui x y/n #junhui x you #seventeen smut #seventeen jun #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x reader #💒 june

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97-liners · 1 year

Note

HMMMMM in regards to the requests with the weird stuff . im throwing u my pitch of an idea i had but i doubt i’ll ever get to writing but . something dark with joseon era lord!jeonghan? like he’s infamously known amongst the townspeople to never cross him because he’s always a hairtrigger away from going axe-crazy and killing anyone who gets on his bad side . but then you’re also his morality pet who he loves oh so dearly . idk. jeonghan with a glint in his eye and with blood smeared on his face and his sword dripping crimson but then he always caresses your cheek and greets you gently and softly. IDK.

teehee cat here u go sorry it took a week

lord!jeonghan x maid(?) reader | warning for horror i guess | words: 1k

it happened again.

you can tell because the servants are pale as they rush around, murmuring in hushed voices. one of the new kitchen maids looks absolutely terrified as she brushes past you. “–d you see? …covered in blood, and he was still–”

“enough,” the old housekeeper snaps. “hurry and draw a bath for young master yoon. and tell the laundry to prepare vinegar and cold water.”

(it’s been years since jeonghan has been young master yoon, but sometimes you think that grandfather seo looks at jeonghan and sees the person he used to be. grandfather seo had always been so affectionate, too sentimental beneath his cantankerous facade.)

you watch, silently, as the kitchen maids clutch at their sleeves and bow their heads before hurrying to their duties. nobody spares you a glance, not even grandfather seo. instead, he sighs heavily and sits on one of the ornate granite stools in the courtyard, groaning as his joints creak.

hot water, you think. one of the kitchen maids should bring him a basin of hot water and a towel for his bad back. you can imagine the thick, humid air of the kitchen, the large glazed jug resting on the stove, always filled with water and piping hot, ready for whoever needs it. the smell of the straw fire, the smoke stinging at your eyes. but instead of walking the familiar path back, you gather your robes and walk towards the main house.

(there was a time when you were a maid too, with chapped hands and the persistent smell of smoke clinging to your clothes. but it’s been years since you stepped into the kitchen. you hold a strange position in this house– not a servant anymore, but not a lady either. something in between. a pet, they used to sneer. the young master’s beloved, grandfather seo says.)

the moonlight-sheer silk of your outer robes flutter in the wind as you make your way across the courtyard and under the arch separating the back of the manor from the front. the sun is setting now, and the sky is bloody red, making your white robes glow scarlet.

jeonghan sits in his private chambers, legs crossed, elbow propped against his desk. there are no servants here– nobody is brave, or foolish, enough to cross jeonghan’s path when he’s in such a state. the sliding door leading to the gardens is open, and as soon as he sees you rounding the corner, his expression brightens.

“oh, my little dove,” he calls out to you, tilting his head affectionately. “i’ve missed you all day.”

you smile, hands clasped, as you make your way towards him. “good evening, my lord. did you just return?”

jeonghan looks like a disaster. his celadon-blue robes are covered in blood, soaked into the heavy silk like ink stains. there’s blood spattered on his cheek and on his hands, and he’s still carrying his sword, unsheathed, covered in gore.

you carefully step up onto the threshold of the room, holding the hem of your skirts out of the way. they swirl like gossamar as you walk towards him and take a seat at his side.

jeonghan finally takes the cloth off his desk and begins to wipe the blood off his sword, like a ritual. “where have you been all day?”

“i apologize for my absence, my lord,” you say as you begin to pour him tea. white tea, his favorite. “i was feeling weak this morning, so i rested.”

“my poor darling,” he croons, pausing to lift his hand to your cheek. the blood has dried now and flakes off his skin like rust. impossibly gently, he strokes his fingers down the line of your jaw, as if to reassure you. you imagine the blood smearing in streaks.

swallowing down the lump in your throat, you smile at him again and present him his tea. “it’s nothing to worry about.”

jeonghan sighs, but he doesn’t take his tea. “you know i worry, though. how can i not?”

“you’re too good to me,” you mumble, looking away.

“never.” the tender, loving way he tucks your hair behind your ear is at odds with the scent of blood and gore on his hands. he tilts his head into your field of vision in that silly way that he always does, smiling even as his hair falls into his face.

“i heard about what you did today,” you say quietly.

jeonghan’s smile falters for just a moment, but it passes in a blink of an eye. “don’t fret, darling. you know i don’t kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”

of course, jeonghan’s grasp of morality isn’t quite all that… there. at least, not these days. you wonder how much he had to torture today’s poor victim before he got the confession he wanted to hear, regardless of whether it was true or not.

“you’re unhappy.” jeonghan frowns. “please trust me.”

“i do,” you tell him. it’s a lie, and you know he can tell.

“i swear.” his hand closes around yours, leaving rust-colored smears of blood on the white silk of your sleeve. “i won’t rest until i’ve fulfilled my promise. you remember that, don’t you?”

(you remember. by the time he finds you, it’s too late. you stare up at grey clouds, lightening with daybreak, eyes open but not seeing. who did this, he asks, but you can’t answer.

jeonghan has never begged before, but he’s on his knees now, gripping your shoulders, begging you. the great lord yoon pleading to a mere servant girl who somehow became something precious to him. he makes the promise right then and there. revenge.)

there’s no point. you want to tell him, but you can’t, so you just smile at him and squeeze his hand in return. your dear jeonghan, too cunning and vengeful for his own good.

he’ll find out eventually, you’re sure because jeonghan always finds out in the end, that the man who killed you had drowned in the river later that same night, his head held down under the water as he struggled. all the desperation in the world is nothing in the face of a vengeful spirit.

(you had waited until he stopped moving, and then you counted to 100 after that just to make sure, and then you watched as the body was carried by the water out of town, out towards the sea.

and then when you were done, you turned back and stepped out of the river. you needed to be back at the manor by daybreak. you weren’t supposed to be out, and jeonghan would be upset to find you gone.

the sun was rising.)

#cat 🦦#ask #97.yn #97.writings #97.drabbles #man it's been so long since i've written i forgot how i tag things lmao #uhh.#seventeen scenarios #i think i made the premise clear? but lmk if it ended up just being confusing lol #ANYWAYS IF YOU'RE READING THE TAGS.... requests are open <3

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mcx7demonbros · 1 year

Text

Smoking Headcanon

Ft. The Demon Brothers, GN!MC

C/W. Smoking

Masterlist | Please reblog

No proofread btw

General headcanon

Demons are stronger than human and they live in literal Hell, so smoking isn’t harmful to a demon’s health (i.e. no cancer, no heart disease, etc.)

But demons are not exempted from other harms on appearance and smell.

Lucifer

The eldest did smoke once or twice before, but upon knowing the harm its bring to his appearance and smell on his body, which in turn affects his reputation, he dropped it completely.

Also dissuades his brothers from smoking, especially Mammon. Before you came to the Devildom, Lucifer has tried many methods to make his favorite brother to drop the habit, but failed.

Mammon

Wasn’t into smoking until one of his scumbag associates invited him. The second eldest was like “Why not?” He liked it and smoked every day.

Though since he has his modeling job, and smoking has bad effect on skin, lips, and teeth, the Avatar of Greed moderates his smoking frequency.

However, one incident led to him dropping smoking completely. It was when you two embraced each other and prepared to kiss, you smelled the cigarette smell on him and said “Ewwwww”, which ruined the moment.

Leviathan

He did smoke once to try to look cool like the gangsters in some anime he watched. But he couldn’t handle the smoke and coughed non-stop.

From then on, Levi never smokes again. If someones asks, he will say “Smoking is for normies.”

Satan

The fourth eldest never smokes because smoking harms the living environment around the person who smokes, which in turn will harm the cats and most importantly, you.

Though Satan does carry with him a pipe whenever he dresses as a detective, but it’s just for show.

Asmodeus

When smoking was first introduced in Devildom, Asmo did research about it.

Upon discovering the harmful impacts of smoking on skin and it would make him become ugly, Asmo vouched to never smoke.

He is the Avatar of Lust, it’s a crime for him to make himself ugly. No…NO…NOOOOOOOO

Beelzebub

At first, when smoking entered the Devildom and it hadn’t been proven whether smoking was harmful for demon as it was for human, sport players like Beel boycotted smoking because they need good lungs.

However, even after it has been proven that demons don’t get serious health issues from smoking, Beel still doesn’t smoke because his brothers don’t like it and it will be harmful to you.

Belphegor

Belphie only smoked once to try the experience. He never smokes again because he’s the baby of the House of Lamentation, and babies don’t smoke. In other words, in other to act as “i’m the youngest baby brother uwu”, smoking is a no. He can’t let his brothers catch him smoking.

Also, that one time he smoked, his brothers know nothing about it, still thinking that he’s too young and an innocent baby brother in that area.

Note. I’m against smoking. But I’m not judging or condemning anyone for smoking.

If you guys want, I’ll make the dateables version.

#obey me #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me x reader #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons

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atopvisenyashill · 6 months

Note

What if cigarettes existed in asoiaf? Who would be a smoker?

chain smokers

literally every lannister including cersei but she smokes tobacco in a fancy pipe, she doesn’t use cigs like a pleb. tywin only smokes in secret and brushes the FUCK out of his teeth after to get rid of the smell.

olenna redwyne hasn’t smoked herself into the grave on spite alone but trust her lungs are just tar and blood now

lysa tully, petyr thinks it’s soooo tacky

edmure tully

robert baratheon

dolorous ed

theon greyjoy

sandor clegane

thoros of myr but he quits after he brings beric back, altho he always has a pack on him & makes comments about how he wishes he hadn’t quit smoking whenever something stressful happens

jorah mormont, but he switches to a pipe when he moves out to essos bc the dothraki prefer tobacco and they get real fancy with it

half of dany’s khalasar smoke a pipe btw and she resists it until meereen.

dorne has medicinal weed btw and they love a smoke, they got hookahs and bongs everywhere in dorne but they’re not overly fond of tobacco specifically

rhaena the black bride started chain smoking after maegor married her and quit on and off throughout her life

every single one of jaehaerys’ kids had a bad smoking problem specifically bc it pissed jae & aly off

viserys starts smoking for ~medicinal~ reasons bc a maester told him sometimes it helps. it does not.

aegon ii will blow smoke right in someone’s face if they’re pissing him off, his siblings think this is both hilarious and infinitely tacky

aegon iv, picks it up while in essos

betha blackwood, the blackwoods are the main cigarette dealers in the north & riverlands but betha puts them all to shame with her chain smoking

infrequent smokers

ned stark, cat hides his cigs all the time bc she disapproves so he has to sneak out to the godswood & bums them off theon

blackfish tully, he tells edmure to hide all the drugs when robb comes south bc he doesn’t want to get another lecture about how unhealthy they are from cat

arya takes it up from sandor & starts getting into like Artisanal Cigs when she gets to braavos

davos seaworth, and he feels so guilty about it

daemon smokes but only when he’s drinking

baela smokes bc her dad smokes but winds up using it for stress all the time

aegon iii & viserys ii & lara all start smoking to rebel against the regents, daenaera doesn’t approve but she never does anything besides cough pointedly. viserys grows out of the habit, aegon & lara do not

melissa blackwood, she did it for eating disorder reasons but she never smoked around naerys bc she was paranoid about secondhand smoke

elia sand, she HATES IT but her parents and sisters are SO SERIOUS about it being bad for you so she does it on the trip with arianne to meet aegon vi & joncon, arianne has someone keep track of it so she can tattle later bc she thinks cigs are nasty like use a tobacco pipe like a fucking civilized woman!!

maekar targaryen

egg, and dunk yells at him about it ALL THE TIME even tho egg only smokes like a cig a week (dunk is #straight edge just like ser arlan)

asha greyjoy but she actually just chews tobacco. qarl thinks it’s sexy when she spits it out and he Will make weird “spit in my mouth” comments when they’re alone

#valyrianscrolls #asks #yes i did have ned sneak smokes from theon bc my stepdad sneaks smokes from my siblings aksksjdjd what about it!!

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thewriterg · 2 years

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♡︎kys or get over it♡︎

Pairing(s): JJ Maybank x Fem!reader, Pope Heyward x Fem!reader, Kiara Carrera x Fem!reader

Summary: Pope Heyward has done a lot of things but get high wasn’t one of them so when he told you what they didn’t you just couldn’t seem to breakdown —flufftober; day 8—

Word count: 1.2k+

Warning(s): Cheating, crying, underage smoking, cat fights, Fluffy ending, reader getting the happy ending they deserve, and Language

A/n: —GIF’s aren’t mine— Seeing little to no Pope appreciation guys let’s get it together 🙄

“Pope are you okay honey?” You questioned the familiar pet name rolling from your lips it wasn’t favoring or special the names shuffling repeatedly you had all smoked more than enough joints and JJ had finally got Pope to smoke and you had been sending the boy concerned glances all night

“I told you he couldn’t handle all of that J” You through a rough glance at the blonde who through his hands up in surrender while Pope looked down at You your caring nature never faltering while you stuck your tongue out in determination

Pope noticed how you smiled every time JJ entered the room or how you frowned everyone Kie canceled your weekly sleepovers claiming she had errands to run or things to do so her parents wouldn’t be on her back

Pope had known you longer than anyone and he didn’t know how or why the words kept getting stuck in his throat and why the fuck he couldn’t spit it out maybe it was because he thought it would hurt you if you didn’t know and he couldn’t help but realize that it was hurting you more than it was helping you

“Here Poe drink this” You’d handed him a water bottle the cap unscrewed while he smiled softly at the nickname you had called since you were atleast two not being able to pronounce your P’s

“Hey y/n/n uhh… I have you tell you something it’s about JJ” Pope stated low enough for only you to hear while you tilted your head like confused puppy sitting a encouraging hand on his forearm

“Umm, Hey Kie?” Pope called out to the girl who looked up from her hand of cards with a soft smile her eyebrows risen in question

“How long have you been fucking JJ” The question was so random and abrupt it had you turning your body towards the pair of teens who stood up from their position next to each other while there was a pregnant pause in the air while Kie nervously chuckled and Sarah moved to stand next to you a hand over her mouth

“What the fuck are you talking about Pope?” You questioned the boy with a hostility that he knew wasn’t directed towards himself as you glared harshly at JJ and Kie

“When we through the kegger I came back here to get my wallet and they were just making out on the couch” JJ ran a hand through his tangled hair while you stared at him with flashing red flowing through your body

“Kie that’s like really bad” Sarah pipe up looking at you with sympathy than averting her gaze to Kie eyes wide trying her best from letting her face show the disgust that her stomach did

“You’re fucking each other are you kidding me!?” You turned your attention to JJ taking a step toward to him while his eyes met everywhere but with yours as you heard sniffling from the corner of the room adverting your harsh gaze to Kie

“You’re crying!? You’re fucking crying you fucking bitch you’re feeling are hurt!?” You stormed Your way towards where Kie stood her sniffling gone quiet while Pope and Sarah moved to follow you Pope holding one of your arms back rubbing his thumb back and forth on your heated body

“You’re the most self centered idiotic person I’ve ever fucking met! You fuck my boyfriend and you’re fucking crying!?” You pulled your arm away from Popes grip bringing them in front of the girls face pointing directly

“I don’t why you’re believing him he’s high Y/n!” JJ stood up seemingly attempting to defend himself which you couldn’t help but humorlessly laugh at

“Last time I checked weed doesn’t make you a fucking liar JJ but it seems you’re an exception” You knew it was a low blow but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care

“How Long have you been fucking each other be honest?” You turned back to Kie nose to nose while the girl just stared at you hyperventilating

“Pope when was this exactly” You questioned turning to face the boy waving your hands exaggeratedgy to get your point across

“When we through the first kegger last summer” He admitted while you turned back to Kie your eyes gon dark and your blood boiling from your feet gon to your temples

“You dumb, fucking bitch, IM GONNA FUCK YOU UP!” You through a slap to the girls cheek before Pope and John B had you by your arms while JJ and Sarah took a crying Kie a red hand mark bruised on her cheek

“I hate you JJ you stupid fucking Cunt!” You screamed taking your hands from the grasp of two boys before storming out of the house with a slam of the screen door

☀︎☀︎☀︎☀︎

Pope had made his way out the château it has been at least five minutes since you’d had stormed out the house and he wouldn’t have seen you unless it was for the the fairy lights that were hanging around the backyard sitting at the doc

“Hey” Pope called out to you softly while you looked back towards him with a soft smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes patting the seat next to you as a welcoming which the boy took

“I’m really sorry Y/n, I know I should’ve told you sooner but JJ just kept putting me off saying he would and I just didn’t want you to hurt” You looked up at the dark skinned boy with a small smile a joint in between your fingertips before taking a drag of the the burning leaf between your lips

“I’m not mad at you Pope, you were trying to protect me and I understand that I’m just glad it’s over now you know?” It was more like a statement than a question while Pope just listend he was the best at it, being there and listening when you needed him

“You know it’s okay to cry Y/n/n you don’t have to bottle it up all the time” Pope put a reassuring hand on top of yours never taking his eyes off you it’s not like he ever did anyway

“Nah I’m good, life’s unfair you kill yourself or get over it” You shooed the thought away and not a half a second layer you could feel your vision blur as a tear dropped down your cheek

“Yea but you don’t have to get over it right now. You wanan know something?” The boy continued once he realized he didn’t get any response from you the first time while you just perked up with a small hum

“I don’t think you ever knew how much I really liked you, because I never even told you but God Y/n I meant to” You both stared at each other in a surprised daze dried tears stained your face, your joint burnt out, it was just the both of you.

“Pope I liked you too, I- I do like you but I can’t commit to something like that right now” You stressed before Pope lied his hands on yours this time it wasn’t like the platonic comforting ones it was like trying to pour all your feelings into one touch when his hands interlocking with yours

“I’ll wait and stay here for as long as it takes” You wanted to argue but you didn’t have the energy just laying your head on Popes shoulder while his scent clouded your senses he smelled like the beach, oatmeal, and lavender

It would take some time to mend your heart from JJ but you knew Pope would help you pick up the pieces

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mara-xx217 · 7 months

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Good morning/afternoon/night! My internet is really bad at the moment so im not sure when this ask is gonna get through lol :,)

If I remember it correctly, your asks are open! So I decided to try my luck on sending one! (I've only downloaded Tumblr recently so im sorry if this goes badly :,) )

May I ask for a scenario or something like that with Pocketcat obsessing over a poor and desperate soul(aka reader lol) who is just trying to make their way through the Fear and Hunger dungeons/The festival of Termina (It's probably better if you choose lol)? Reader is just trying to go through another day without being attacked in their sleep and maybe smoking some Opium while that goddamn cat is just starting from a corner.

((Im not sure how asks work! Sorry if I made a mistake!!))

Omg yes this is perfectly fine! Everybody loves Pocketcat (me included) so I'm more than happy to answer this lol. Let's set this during the Festival, shall we? :)

You're doing great!

Warnings: Stalking, General Creep Behavior, Pocketcat Deserves His Own Warning, Drug Use

The atmosphere of Prehevil was a buzz with an invisible, cold heat. Your skin had started to tingle the moment you woke up from that terrible dream you had on the train and a throbbing headache that started as a minor annoyance has now turned into a full blown migraine that has you feeling like you've been brained by a lead pipe, a very real possibility given all the pissed off locals that have been attacking you unprompted and out of the blue as you've wandered the mostly deserted streets.

The last few blocks, you've begun to feel as though you were being watched... Every other step you take, you swear that you hear the echo of a footfall that is just barely out of sync of your own. You pause mid step and listen carefully.

...click...

Shit. You don't look over your shoulder, fearing what you might find following you. You shove your hands in your jacket pockets and suddenly pick up your pace, not quite running but not walking casually either. Your fucking head is killing you... You wanted nothing more than to take a hit from your pipe... but you needed to find somewhere relatively safe first. Continuing on, you round several more street corners. You don't stop until you no longer hear any footsteps mirroring your own. Slowing down, you strain your ears once again.

....

Silence. You shuffle to a stop. Your headache is nearly blinding and you sit on a pair of steps that lead into one of the many buildings in Prehevil. Fumbling with your bag, you fish out your smoking pipe, your eyes closed as they were throbbing and painfully dry. You crack an eye open and find a nearly empty matchbook, striking it alight and lighting the pipe that was still partially filled with opium. Extreme, but its all you have.

And your head-

It was sweet relief. The opium was strong and fast acting. Your headache numbed, as did your paranoia. Your heartbeat slowed and you felt yourself fall at ease. You kept your eyes closed, enjoying the brief moment of quiet. Has it been only a few hours of this? It almost felt like a lifetime... Your eyes open, blinking as they readjust to the light. And you find yourself startled as there was someone standing down the street opposite of where you sat.

The colour purple was a strange sight in this blood-soaked town... Not a drop of gore was on him, yet the bag at his feet was blood-smeared and breathing, you could tell even from where you sat. He was tall and well-dressed, strange all around and strangely making a point to avoid eye-contact with you. As you stared at him, suddenly sobering from the opium, he twitched his head and glanced in your direction. What the hell was he wearing...?

"Ah-! Oh, dear me! I didn't see you there at all!" His accent was strange and he seemed exasperated. Though he was wearing a mask, something that appeared to be cumbersome and inflexible, it had a lot of character and seemed to reflect it well through his eyes.

"My, my, how rude of me! I do apologize, this Festival has us all running about like mad, does it not?" You uneasily looked side to side.

Was... he talking to you?

"What... 'Festival'...?" He continued on.

"Say... perhaps I am mistaken but... do I know you? Maybe you get that a lot, you do have one of those faces, but I swear that you look..." The masked man turned to face you. He had one hand in his pocket, something that make you gravely nervous.

"...familiar?" You don't know why you answered him. Perhaps it was the awkwardness of this situation getting to you.

"Yes! Familiar. I feel as though I have met you once before, in lands and times different though under such similar circumstances..." He grew wistful, seeming to reflect on an old and touching memory. You frowned. There was something nagging at the back of your head....

"Pray tell, how has this Festival been treating you? Worse for wear? Perhaps you have had your fill and wish to turn in for the day?" You narrowed your eyes.

"I... What?" He continued.

"No matter, there is time left for you, though not much at all, I'm afraid. There is never enough time, is there? Or it certainly doesn't feel that way... Especially where the ones we love are concerned..." He turned his head so you couldn't see his masked face. The man brought his hand to his mouth and seemed to suddenly grow sheepish. The hand in his pocket began to twitch and you felt your stomach roll in apprehension.

"Do you have that special someone in your life? I did... once upon a time... Though it has been so many ages since I last saw them..." He turned to face you and he seemed larger and closer than he truly was. The masked man grew in height and seemed to lean in close to you, until you had your back flat against the stairs and you were cowering before him from across the street.

"Though... looking upon you has brought a wave of nostalgia over me! Truly, I must thank you for this, for I had missed them terribly..." There was a genuineness to his voice that was almost moving... for a split second, you felt your guard lower.

"I see..." Your shoulders dropped a little. A wave of emotion washed over you.

Relief

Gratitude

But in the warmness there was also,

Anticipation

Fear

Hatred

Deja vu seized your heart and froze you in place. Your temples began to throb as the colour drained from your face. The stranger had become familiar and known to you, though you didn't understand how or why. He seemed pleased with the shift in your demeanor.

"That's quite enough I think..." You furrowed your brows, confused.

"What-?"

"Yes, quite so!" You can tell that he was smiling under the mask.

"I don't understand-" He nodded to himself.

"That's quite alright, old sport! Give it some time, I think it will all become apparent, sooner than later." The man straightened up and you no longer felt crowded.

"W-What will? What- Who even are you-?!" Your question was waved off.

"Enough questions! Don't you think it's about time now?" Anxiety pulsed under your skin.

"Time? Time f-for what?"

"Time to wake up, of course! You've nearly overslept!" You're stunned. Confused and a little annoyed, you open your mouth to rebuke him, but he's suddenly in front of you and has a gloved hand clamped around your mouth. You can't move, you can't blink, you can't even scream in terror as a wave of nostalgia crashes over you.

"Hush, now... I've stolen you away from my Master for long enough... It's time for us to part ways for now, but we will meet again. It will be just like the good old days, just you wait!" You didn't know who this fucking freak was and you didn't care. You just wanted him to get the hell away from you already!

"Go on, then! Away with you!" His tone was cheery but he picked you off the stone stairs with his one hand with ease, until your legs were dangling limply in the air.

You were thrown down but instead of busting your head on the edge of sharp stairs you startled in a seated position. You hit your elbow against the cool train window and your head bounced off of it as you struggled to regain your senses.

It was... what?

It wasn't real... It was all just one big, terrible dream... You sighed in relief. In the moments that it took your heart to slow, you realized something.

The train wasn't moving and it was devoid of all passengers.

@prettycutebunny, @infinitewhore, @kennbb, @slutwithadegree, @dead-bxxxtch-walking, @space-arsonist, @pink-soft-shadow, @sinlessdesire, @hoemine, @memoryofheather

#fear and hunger #fear & hunger #fear & hunger termina #fear & hunger pocketcat #fear & hunger x reader #pocketcat x reader #and it was all a dream!!!!

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krisispiss · 4 months

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OKAY OKAY so like- what if there was a cat, riught? and the an the man owned him was like "where is my pipe oh gosh" and then we cut to and the then we cut to view name of : cat- and CATE IS SMOKE PIPE??????????????

Kris would take the pipe because tobacco is bad for animals and then give the owner a stern talking to for leaving his pipe untended, and then steal his lasagna

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i-hear-a-sound · 6 months

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lasagna cat is the best arg/YouTube unfiction series and you won’t change my mind no matter how hard you try

what other 15 year old arg dipped off the planet for half a decade only to return with bangers such as: guy talking for an entire hour about how garfield smoking a pipe changed the very fabric of his existence and his views on simply being at all and odie the dog putting a paper bag on his head and becoming a fashion icon before being condemned to hell while bad romance by Lady Gaga blares in the background, concluding in a 5 hour long video in which jon garfield and odie all take calls from anonymous sources telling them the amount of times they’ve ever banged before jon answers himself at the door and transforms the last 10 minutes of the video into this empty yet horrifying and confusing purgatory, in which an older looking jon made to resemble garfield’s creator is haunted by a taxidermied cat, is killed by a nude man skin-painted to resemble garfield in the mountains, before cutting to the aftermath of a girl giving birth in a bathroom in which she drops possibly the hardest monologue in any unfiction series since fucking emh to me about how she bore humanity’s curse in the form of this child, a fate which she will be condemned to for all of eternity, her soul to be swallowed and spat out and swallowed again, before cutting to a shot of the toilet where the baby is wearing a blue button shirt, and the video ends on a completely orange screen, all just to say garfield’s not that funny

#lasagna cat #“i am in hell. this is hell.” came from the funny garf arg #also mentioned emh because. i cannot stress this enough it’s acting was peak

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lossie92 · 1 year

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The beginning of the 2nd instalment in the Joy Verse. I don’t think anyone expected this POV, but I thought it would be something interesting to explore. The title is going to be Which Way the Cat Jumps.

This fic will feature more mdtb than part 1 as well. It's also more of a look into Madara's and, later on, Izuna's thoughts on this whole marriage business than what was offered before 😉

Hope you enjoy!

Although it had come as a surprise to many, Nekobaa couldn't exactly say she was all that surprised when the Senju and the Uchiha laid down their weapons and decided to join forces.

People had an alarming tendency to underestimate the fortitude and determination of children, and they rarely ever expected both to grow with the child until they were strong and powerful enough to make their dreams a reality.

This, she felt, was exactly what had happened to young Madara and his Senju friend. She was glad for it too.

War was an ugly thing and through the hundreds of years that she had walked amongst people, Nekobaa had never quite understood why humans were so eager to fight and kill one another. They lived for such a short time that it was truly a wonder they didn't instead focus on things that had more merit, such as gaining knowledge, finding a decent sunspot, or smoking a good quality kizami.

Then again, what did a bakeneko know about human wants and desires?

Maybe Nekomata or Matatabi, both prone to fits of temper, would find the human experience understandable in some sort of way. Nekobaa was neither of the two though and she was hardly burning with curiosity to learn. It all sounded very much like something she wouldn't enjoy. Too much hassle for not enough pay off. She much preferred spending her days with her pipe, her books, and her shogi board, napping whenever she damn well pleased. All that conflict nonsense she was more than fine without.

Still, due to her close ties with the Uchiha clan, she heard things about this ceasefire and the peace treaty that was to follow suit. Different things. Good and bad, and somewhere in between. It appeared the opinions on it were divided within the clan. Some cursed Madara for being too naive, some thought him a good leader and alpha for looking after the wellbeing of the clan, some didn't know what to make of the marriage that was apparently a vital part of the contract.

The marriage was a curiosity for sure. An arrangement of sorts between young Madara and a Senju boy with Amaterasu-okami's red eyes sounded rather strange indeed and, truth be told, Nekobaa couldn't quite decide what she thought of it herself.

"I wasn't opposed to it," Madara told her solemnly when she asked, his expression unreadable.

"Not opposed is a funny reason to mate," Nekoba pointed out between puffs of her pipe, "don't you think, kitten?"

Madara hummed noncommittally as he pushed his gold general a square up the board. "Check," he said and then added as if in afterthought, "I don't think it matters. Peace is more important here."

"Is it?" She questioned, disregarding the game for now in favour of their conversation. "What about your happiness, Madara? Doesn't that have any meaning?"

"What is more important, the happiness of one or the lives of the many?" Madara countered. "Life is a bit like shogi in that sense, obaa-san. You cannot have it all. You have to pick and choose."

"And your choice is a demon bride?"

The look Madara flashed at her was angry like she hadn't seen from him before and tinged red from the Sharingan that swirled to life for a brief second before the boy got a hold of himself.

"Don't call him that," he growled. "He's no demon. Never was one. He cannot help the way he looks."

Nekobaa tilted her head at him, curious. "How does he look?"

"White hair, red eyes. Palest skin I've ever seen," Madara told her. "None of it makes him a demon."

"It doesn't," she agreed. Though she knew of many demons and their treacherous, cunning nature was far from unfamiliar to her, she was also aware that despite the moniker and his unique looks, Senju Tobirama wasn't actually a malevolent spirit. "Who is he then? In your eyes?"

Madara seemed to consider the question for a long few minutes before he finally said, "Someone I want to keep safe."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Madara responded. She could tell he was being truthful.

#mdtb #madatobi #madara #tobirama #wip #joy verse #a/b/o au #outsider pov #naruto #naruto founders #naruto fanfiction #lossie writes

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