TW: Slavery

"Slavery was a long time ago. Get over it."

That's an enormously cruel statement on so many levels. And they regularly say "fuck your feelings" to anyone who recognizes the cruelty of that statement.

And it ain't psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, histrionics, borderlines, or any other people with a stereotypically "evil" personality disorder saying that.

These are normal people who are able to say that with no fear of sounding unhinged.

Evil is normalized by society. It's not caused by mental illness.

Oh yeah make sure neglected people get love until that neglected person is a fucking narcissist. Cause all narcissists are bad. Everything I do is intentionally manipulative or maybe they'll say I'm not actually a narcissist and are just confused or supporting them cause I've been made to feel guilty. I've been on both sides. People will believe I'm a narcissist and so therefore I'm abusive or people will not believe I'm a narcissist cause I'm too nice and just getting caught up in narcissists manipulating me to support them.

I hate the idea that my self image is not by my choice. I will always be what OTHERS perceive me as. I have always been that and it will continue to be that. People will either see someone that can't do any wrong or someone that can only do wrong. Like stfu I am a person! I can do good and bad! I have a past of being toxic and harmful esp as a teenager cause I was a fucking mentally fucked teen still in an abusive situation.

I just. I dunno. Im waiting on food so I'm very like just ranty about everything and anything. But like. Stfu. Stfu stfu stfu stfu stfu. If anyone else is needy and needs attention or reassurance then it's fine. But I have had it demonized since my fucking childhood and had my fucking meltdowns demonized as being intentionally manipulative!!! I WAS A FIVE YEAR OLD AUTISTIC CHILD STFU!!!!!

And people praising empathy as being good piss me off. Cause you know what else can also have hypoempathy? AUTISM. Low empathy is not just an "evil" personality disorder thing. Anyone can be anywhere on the scale of empathy. And it doesn't fucking matter. And anyone can be capable of good or bad. It has literally nothing to do with narcissism or any disorder.

Like wtf are anti narcissists gonna fucking do when they realize theyve done harm??? Cause you know what being someone believing in narc abuse did to me?! It made me believe that i was justified as a victim of narcissists so therefore I couldn't be wrong in my trauma responses.

Yeah. Accepting im a narcissist did way more for helping my relationships by allowing me to understand and communicate my needs than believing in narc abuse and calling my parents narcissists ever fucking did. Wtf are they gonna do when they're told about the harm they've done??? Not even related to narc abuse. I would have horrible episodes and defended myself cause I wasn't like my abusive "narcissistic" parents. And all it did was lead to more fights and more episodes and my friend couldn't help cause they were dealing with trauma responses too (people pleasing, believing it was okay what I did or that she deserved it even when I told her not to say or believe that, it's a very lengthy explanation required thing.)

Anyone and everyone is capable of good and bad and is capable of harming others. Whether it's full on abuse, even worse things, or just being insensitive and thoughtless. Focusing so much on the big bad narcissists will only continue to focus on this "us vs them" mentality that completely negates any sort of nuance and ignores the fact that harmful people, abusers, and even the worst of humanity is ALLOWED by society. It isn't a prevalence of narcissists, it is fucking bigotry. And it is everywhere. And it allows abuse to be normalized.

Big list of things I been thinking on. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm already fucking stressed and my parents won't stfu so I can think and type. Disorganized speech, semiverbal, can't thinky think.

Hi hello I might be a bit feverish still so this might come off as some nonsense rambling but!!

LITERALLY YOU'RE SO CORRECT!!

Like, Bob and Moloch don't have HALF of the complexity that Dexter has (this doesn't mean i don't like them, i actually love them), Moloch is just "Evil-because-demon", and Bob is just "Evil-because-yes", since as far as we know, he doesn't have any backstory to tell us why he is the way he is. He's just an evil cannibal serial killer for the sake of being evil and eating people.

With Dexter, the situation's way more complex, because he really isn't evil. He's morally grey at best, made some questionable choices to keep his "urges" under control, but not evil at all. It took him ONE YEAR of psychological torture to snap and decide to kill the kids, and even then, he fought it as much as he could.

I really like how Pelo wrote Dexter, honestly. It's really rare to see ASPD (antisocial personality disorder), which i'm like 90% sure Dexter was canonically confirmed to suffer from, represented in a way that isn't just "Ohoh look at this EVIL MONSTER with NO EMPATHY who doesn't CARE FOR HUMAN LIFE and so he's gonna KILL EVERYONE OHOH". And it bothers me a bit how much the fandom leans into characterizing Dexter exactly like this. Like, his issues are barely acknowledged as a whole, and if they are, they are represented poorly. Idk maybe it's just cause Spooky Month usually leans into horror tropes and stereotypes, so the fandom chalks Dexter up to the (still ableist btw) "Mentally Ill Serial Killer" trope, but the fact is that Dexter in canon is NOT LIKE THIS, and they always make him so WIDELY out of character... It's like the fandom saw his mental illness, saw the fact that Dexter's personality is still at times very harsh, brutally honest, and sassy and sarcastic (mostly in the doodles Pelo does), and decided "okay yeah we can't baby-fy him, turn him up to the other extreme"---> and made him this heartless insane guy

Anyway. Big fan of how Pelo gave us a character that actually struggles with his mental illness and also makes bad choices and isn't a perfect human being but also not an irredeemable evil monster that just wants to murder people for fun.

Weight gain as a form of recovery, I LOVE YOUUUU ✨️💐🙇‍♂️

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE MY FRIENDS WITH NPD 👊👊👊👊👊👊💥💥💥 OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random headcanon that is simultaneously kind of funny but also makes a lot of sense.

Wesker with auditory processing disorder. He hears everything way too well and this translates to not understanding what someone is telling him because they were facing away, not enunciating enough and there was a fan on in the next room over and two clocks, which aren’t synchronized, ticking in the room they’re in and down the hall.

Having to ask Chris to please repeat what he said when they were discussing something on a smoke break because a “car drove past” and he only caught the last half of that.

Having to hide the lab’s clock in a soundproof box to carry a conversation with William when tired because it was too loud and Will was mumbling.

Also, sometimes your other senses mess with your hearing when you have auditory processing disorder. And he likely has very sensitive eyes so…

Having to tell Excella to wait a minute because the lights are too bright for him to hear anything, dimming them or putting his sunglasses back on and asking her to repeat herself.

Not actually hearing much of anything Chris is saying while in the volcano because it’s too hot and bright and he can hear the rocks melting and Uroboros squirming.

(In DBD) not being able to hear anything above the sounds of the generators during a match. Some maps being too bright to hear the survivors correctly.

If he wasn’t as prideful as he is he’d probably tell people he’s hard of hearing and needs them to enunciate and speak clearly when talking to him.

I don't care about ""romance"" or """hurt and comfort""" where issues are (temporarily or otherwise) resolved via effusive declarations of love and devotion and praise I want to read more fucked up people fumbling their way through their best approximations of intimacy and human vulnerability like "What are you doing. Oh ew wtf are you crying? Are you good? Don't get snot on my shirt" etc but no one understand smy visions

I rlly hate how every abuser has to be a "narcissist" now. It just feels like everytime the topic of abuse comes up people feel the need to blame the abusers behavior on mental illness and it's fucking annoying and I'm sick of it. Like blaming the abuse on a personality disorder fucking sucks and also hurts victims more than it helps them.

ah, the neverending cycle of disappointment of finding a person who makes good autistic content only to find out that one of their most popular posts talks about how evil narcissists are, my beloathed

Every time I see a post that’s like “hey don’t do this behavior! It’s rude, and even quite toxic” there’s like 12 replies or tags that are like “um only NARICSSISTS do this, to MANIPULATE us 😡” and it’s like… first of all no?? Anyone’s capable of shitty behavior, stop arm-chair diagnosing anyone you don’t like with a real personality disorder people deal with. Second of all I promise you that not every single narcissist is some evil villain out to get you, and most are literally just?? Normal people?! Leading normal lives.

Who is your favorite Elden Ring character?

Oh man.. This is a very hard question to answer because I love a LOT of characters for their own reasons, and it is really hard to pick one. You might as well send me this ask again every weak and there's a chance the answer would be different every time, too, because my thought process and personality are not stable either! (don't actually send it every week xD)

In general, I can learn to love every character after peering very deep within their being and discovering their potential (or nurturing it), but some characters still stand out and have been stable enough as favourites! That'd be Melina, Ranni, Goldmask, Sellen, Nepheli, Alberich, Yura, Eleonora, Ensha, Malenia (+Millicent), Godwyn and Vyke! I am sorta waiting on Miquella/Trina for DLC because I just don't know what to expect considering Martin's involvement!

I think Melina is the closest to what I could have as favourite character! My favs are more or less equally loved, but she left an emotional impact on me like no other character had before and that alone made her stand out already! Heck, I tag posts about her as 'wife' from time to time! You see..,

The full archive of EPIC AND VERY QUESTIONABLY SANE CONVERSATION is in this chain ( x ), but basically I've completely missed the point of Shabriri gaslighting us. The fact he was talking about burning Melina completely flew over my head, mostly because I didn't check right dialogues. The point about how there is no reason to fix the broken world and existence itself is a curse, however.....? (God I still fucking LOVE the "it is not my fault you jump into ‘hurr hurr but mass destruction bad’ instead of actually thinking" gem fdjhfhs). So, when my friends kept arguing with me I could not actually hear them!

And yet, everything changed when it was just Melina being sad with her voice even trembling a little bit if I remember correctly, convincing us to not inherit FF before the door to it, when everything clicked for me and I snapped out of it. There was something in her expressing her feelings on importance of life in spite of despair, pain, oppression and constant resistance that felt bigger and more important than any thoughtful conclusions on nature of life and world itself.

It is already very admirable that she makes a conscious choice to sacrifice herself for this world. It is not blindly following the purpose she was given, but she comprehends what she is doing and why, having a chance to live her own life now that Marika is absent but still choosing not to, so others could. There is no guarantee that Tarnished (or anyone) WILL make the future better, no way to tell what happens after she annihilates herself. She is motivated by hope for this world, and her trust. Hope is almost alien emotion for me, so I am impressed by the character that embodies it so much. And of course with the way she can kick ass, and how she asserts herself that her sacrifice is not OUR choice, I thought she was pretty badass.

All that is already hard qualities to compete with as they are, and they got strengthened by, without exaggeration, a bit of personal experience with the character! And then it gets MORE personal because, ironically, such an important character also dies in a unique way in Soulsborne context. Death is rarely a thing in Soulsborne worlds because of souls, planes of reality and timespace shenanigans, but Melina already had no body and thus burnt her soul. This is a complete annihilation without any loophole and backtrack, yet I don't even have the heart to meddle with this even in my imagination because this is what she decided.

not to still be talking about beyond evil in 2023, but to talk about beyond evil in 2023 and specifically mental illness representation and how i want to talk ad nauseam about idk maybe han joo won being less obsessive is actually a good thing because people with ocd are constantly struggling to have some kind of recovery and no, beyond evil didn’t just forget about how joo won has mysophobia (because even in the finale, the manyang gang address it)—it’s about how people still recover, and maybe that’s very comforting to the viewers who feel like they’re unable to live properly with their own mental illness okay okay

mental illness/personality disorder acceptance isn't "i should be able to do what i want forever with no consequences because of my disorder, and if you get mad at me for being an asshole then you are being ableist"

instead it's not believing in thought crime. it's not thinking that low empathy makes you a bad person. it's not judging attention-seeking behavior. it's not enforcing ableist societal standards on people who can't meet them. it's being understanding when people are trying their best. it's not thinking that doing bad things makes you irredeemably a bad person forever, and supporting people who want to do better.

you do not deserve to have your harmful behaviors 100% excused just because you are mentally ill. you are still hurting people. you don't have the moral right to hurt people, and it doesn't make you superior to not want to get better.

It's like, they decided that people who abused them have personality disorder(no real proof, no official diagnoses, they just armchaired it, because mentally ill people are born evil and this is sooo not ableistic to think) and then went and called every single person with personality disorder an abuser and their symptoms always causing abuse.

And then they wonder why people with personality disorder are pissed off.

People being confused why Wednesday gave a shit about a monster murdering people really have a fucked and weird view of "good people" and "bad people". Wednesday has zero to no empathy, so she can come off very blunt and abrasive at times, but she's not a bad person, she was raised by the Addams! A family about love and connection and decency and decency to those you don't understand. The Addams aren't Bigots, they don't go out of there way to bully people. They just believe the macabre and dreary don't have to be perceived as negative, and the darkness of life doesn't have to be shunned or tabooed and can instead be seen for what it could be, a party with the dead in a graveyard. They don't like to scare they like to spook, they don't like to terrorize or traumatize they like to frighten. When not fighting their enemies the Addams are a kooky and spooky family filled with love not only for them, but for the other outsiders and weirdos the show was representing by rejecting the nuclear family form. So Wednesday not liking when people she views as weak and pathetic getting unfairly abused and bullied makes sense because she was taught that those who conform would want and if possible would do the exact same thing to her and her family for being different. People seem to think Wednesday is evil and enjoys being so but many times throughout the show when she's told she's cruel and toxic in a way similar to those her parents would despise? She gets confused, and uncomfortable. Her morals are black and white like that of a child and like that of someone who doesn't really understand them herself but was taught and raised to believe in them. Also having a antisocial personality disorder can make shit so fucking boring and understimulating so why the fuck wouldn't she invest a crazy murder? What else does she have going on? Math?