#oh my fucking GOD DUDE. THIS IS A MASTERPIECE.
Text
My world is forever changed by the Cataclysm. Here is my descent to madness.
There's So Much More in my notes app, but that would make this post MILES long. So i've condensed it to the highlights :3
It's That Time of Year Again
Reminds me of the Prologue of the first Vaxis album from Coheed and Cambria for absolutely no reason at all. This is probably something only I will understand. And this is okay.
Light the Match
I just realized that Asher has taken over David's low, rumbly voice :((
Milo's "who you callin' a runt" had me on my knees. And Asher whispering to him afterward YEAAAAAAAH.
Alexis "shared a bed" with Quinn for FORTY YEARS ??? LMAO ??? The way Vincent drags Alexis's name through the mud is a little hilarious though, so bold.
One Misery for Another
I cannot get over how drastically different Imp!Lasko is from Prime Lasko. It's an entirely different person. I'm into it though.
Lasko wanting to continue their conversation when the "normal business hours" are over is a little unnerving !! That's a little icky sire !!
----
VINDEMIATOR MY BABY MY BABY I COULD CRYYY !!!!
He sounds so relieved to see them. I'm going to go Nuts.
Him hating that Freelancer has to put up with so much just to be able to See Him, and them saying that it's all worth it :(( He sounds so SAD. He just wants them SAFE :(((
THE RETURN OF "My Love" YEAAHHAHAHAAA.
Holy shit the Demons are gonna take over the Academy. Just the idea of all of the Demon Boys knowing each other makes me giggle though :3
Vin doesn't want Freelancer in any more danger than they already are just to help them in their cause :(( and he Knows that they would do it in a heartbeat regardless :((
ooough my freaking GOD Vin reminding them that they don't owe any of them to do this, He's the one that owes his life to THEM :(( HE JUST WANTS THEM HAPPY AND AT PEACE, AND HE WANTS TO GIVE IT TO THEM SO BAD. WAAAAH.
God the acting in this video is SO GOOD ROOOOOAR.
Was Anton in this before he was introduced in the Prime Universe ? bc that's Cool if that's the case.
The Luxury of Morality
WE BACK WITH ASHER YAAAA I'M SAT AND I'M LISTENING.
He already sounds like he's warmed up to Babe a significant amount. He sounds so soft. I'm shaking the bars of my cage about this.
Asher mentioning Avior is So weird to me. My worlds are colliding.
Once again he sounds So Much like David and that makes me So Sad.
"I'm already dead. We all are. I'd rather go out knowing I tried something. Anything." i'm tearing UP.
"You want to know so bad ? Sit." AAAAAH OKAY !!! OKAY !!!
Alexis killed the Keaton Pack all by herself ?? Oh my god ???
OUGUGHHhhash Asher saying that Babe gave him and his Pack something to fight for :(( A way for his anger to actually Mean someething. To make something Good of his life for once.
He's forever grateful to them WAAAH. OUCH DUDE. Okay yep he's my Imperium Favorite. We have a Winner !!!!
What You Deserve
Oh, it's Imperium Vega !!! he's actually very sweet, I see the appeal now. This is so nice.
----
OH we're picking Right Back Up with Freelancer and Lasko. This seems.... kind of normal right now. I feel Dread.
Asking about partners... saying "That body..." TO them... HEY. Leave them alone >:(
"You're with your own kind" is a CRAZY thing to say Lasko !!
VIN HAVING TO WATCH THEM DO ALL OF THIS ? OH MY GOD. VIN WANTING TO JUMP IN AND SAVE THEM I'M GOING CRAZY !!!! Hearing him this heated has me kicking my feet !!! and giggling !!
Dude i'm scared while Freelancer is doing this !!! the door rattling is frightening !!!
HE TOOK ALL THE AIR OUT OF THE ROOM ??? WHAT THE FUCK ??
Lasko these pain sounds are So Interesting !!!
"Get your Pet to Safety" / "They are Not my Pet." / "You and I use different words for the Same sentiment. Get the "human that you care for" out of here"-- EATING THIS UP WITH A FORK AND KNIFE.
VEGA CUT LASKO'S THREADS LETS GOOOO.
Worth Dying For
"Say hello to Scorpio !" / "It's Scorpius"-- this is so cute LMAO. WOOO !!!! HI GBA !!
ASH WANTS TO OVERCLOCK HIS CORE ?? WHAT.
----
JETT ?? COMISSIONER JETT ??? CONSUL JETT ??
DAMIEN EXECUTED ANGEL ??? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.
Angel you are a Hero. Rest in Peace you will be So missed. I love you forever.
----
Milo is Such a good Beta. And a good Friend. He's so concerned for Asher :(((
Asher really is cookin' up a plan fr. I feel like it sounds good in theory, but i just Know that this shit is going to go south real quick.
Milo saying Asher's Full Name instead of "Ash" about all of this :(
I LOVE MILO SO MUUUCH I'M WEEPING HE CARES SO MUCH AND SO DEEPLY. HE'S BEGGING ASHER TO LET HIM BE ABLE TO HELP :((((((
MILO KNOCKING OUT ASHER ???? ASKING FOR HIS CORE TO BE OVERCLOCKED INSTEAD ?? IT'S THE INVERSION ALL OVER AGAIN ?? HE'S GONNA TRY AND TAKE ALEXIS OUT HIMSELF ?? MILO HONEY PLEASE.
Truth Will Out
Sam what the fuck are we doing outside of the academy right now sir !!
Now why do i think he's lying about really wanting to help out against the Imperium.
----
Starlight has officially earned their petname :')
After Avior pointed out how it never stops raining, I think i get why Gavin said that storms remind him of Aria in his one HBW audio.
----
"You're too gentle, Pet." yeah i'm going to go nuts about this.
The way Vega talks about them and the trust they put in him :((
Oooh Vega called in the Vampires. That's intriguing. General Vega sir yes sir o7.
THEY STRIKE TONIGHT ? WHAT.
----
VINDEMIATOR TAKING CARE OF FREELANCER WOOOOO.
Freelancer wants to run away with Vin and forget everything :(((
He wants to save the world specifically so Freelancer can live. What if I start crying again. Get them their little house in the woods NOW.
His little "but what if they fail ?" HURT. OUCH.
"Put your arms around my neck. Hold onto me. We're getting out of here." oh my god i'm INSANE. THE DELIVERY WAS PERFECT. The quiet reassured determination oh my god oh my god.
But it also !! Scares me !! What if he really IS what they need to save the world ! aahhah oh no !!
if i said i wanted more Sad Gavin would all of you be mad at me. Him professing his love in 500 little ways through tears Got Me. That was delicious. Can we have More of that please.
Tantum Tyrannus
This title goes So hard by the way. If google serves me right it means "Great Tyrant." I'm sure You All knew this already. But i did not.
Oh my god is this Sweetheart asking where Milo is. IT IS.
Sweetheart insisting they come save Milo too RAAAAH. They pulled the "I'm not letting my Mate die when i can Do something" card and it worked LETS GOOO.
----
NATE WEXLER IS HERE TOO ? No way this man is voiced by Erik. Man Damien said Fuck Global Warming.
----
ALEXIS VOICE !!! This was Groundbreaking when it released. I'm glad they got the same VA for the Summit. Hey girlypop. How are you.
MILO OH MY GOD. SHE BROKE HIS ARM DUDE ?
SHE FELL FOR THE BAIT DUDE LETS GOOO. That seemed too easy. What !! IS MILO OKAY. PLEASE LET HIM BE OKAY. Milo you are my Hero do not die.
----
Asher throwing Alexis's head down in front of Vincent is ICONIC.
"Impressive bite." / "Want me to show you ?"-- Yeah i'm on my knees about this.
MILO'S ALIVE WOOO !! ASHER KILLING VINCENT WOO !!!! SPITTING HIS BLOOD OUT !!! ASHER TALBOT THE MAN THAT YOU ARE !!!!!
Last Wish
All of my notes this section have :((( on them LMAO. I was SAD.
Milo's little "hey" when Asher opens the door :((( he sounds so exhausted this whole video :((
We're back to Inversion magic worries oh no. Asher reassuring Milo that he's still family regardless, just like David did in the Prime. I need to stop crying PLEASE.
Asher admitting to Milo that he couldn't have done it alone. Milo telling him how important he is to the Pack :((((
MILO ASKING WHY THEY'RE STILL CALLED SHAW PACK :((( BECAUSE THEY'LL ANSWER TO HIM REGARDLESS :((((
Oh my fucking god the reason being that Ash doesn't need to be honored with the name, David and Darlin' do... and he's not ready to give up David's name yet :(( OUCH.
WHEN HE SAYS DAVID WAS HIS MATE HIS CORE STAYS DARK :((( So the Shaw Pack is a way of keeping that feeling alive in a more Human Way.
ASHER CRYING IN MILO'S ARMS :((((((((
"I love you, Ash. Please come home." STOP MAKING ME CRY.
Asher saying "Take care of each other, okay ?" to Sweetheart and Milo. you know the way he meant it. I'm going to YELL.
----
Vega reminding Avior that he is needed to lead, but the strike is happening now-- so Vega will do it. Scary !!
Despite their arguing, Vega refuses to fight Avior because he respects him. That's nice.
VEGA CAN SEND PEOPLE BACK TO ARIA ?? HE CAN RIFT ?? You know. This makes sense giving that we know that Vega is as old as he is now.
Okay. Well. Goodbye Avior and Starlight ! I was about to wonder if they get stuck in Hell again, but immediately got my question answered LMAO.
The mentioned tears and voids, like in Prime. Are those holes in the Meridian ?? They have to be right. That's why Project Meridian exists. Wires in my brain are connecting now. I understand.
This Meridian is loud as FUCK.
"Child of Land. You are needed." RETURN !!! LETS GOOOO !!!
----
Asher hitting the door... kinda got to me !! that was a little hot !! I kicked my feet about it a little bit !!
BRACHIUM ????? What the hell are you doing here loca !!!
Finale | All Cruel Things
FIFTY ONE MINUTES ???
Vega is scary !! But the words he is saying are poetic as fuck !!
----
THEY BOUND ALL THE INVOCATIONS TO BRACHIUM ???
OOoh Brachium being the First exiled Demon. How interesting.
Asher talking about how there's No One Waiting for him. That there is no "Other Side" to get to. David isn't waiting for him somewhere :((( Everything he ever cares for keeps Dying. And are Gone. :(((
I am just sitting in awe at this whole interaction. I am Mystified.
----
Sam's evil laugh !! Hello sir !! Is this Sam and Vincent talking. Do you think they're besties :3
This whole conversation between him and Damien is. yummy.
----
E'LAETUM AND MIN'ARA !!! Hi guys !! Or you !!
"Let us speak through you" oh my GOD ? They got Blake'd. They stopped Vega's rift !!! I'm sure that's what happened in Prime too.
"Bring us a Sovereign" Do you think this is the solution in Prime also... do you think this is what Hush is for. Lots of things to think about this.
Once again this Meridian is loud as FUCK !!! OUCH !! i'm just trying to hear everyone Talk dude. Please be so nice to me.
THEY TOOK EVERY SOVEREIGN ?? ESSENTIALLY KICKED EVERYONE OUT OF ARIA TO FEED ?? FLOODING IT WITH DEMONS ??
ECHO ???
----
Sam turned Damien ... . . .. oh my god. HE MAKES HIM LICK HIS BOOT ?? CALLS HIM A BITCH ??? WHAT IS HAPPENING LMAO. Thinking lots of things right now. Lots and lots and lots of things.
----
SAM CROWNING HIMSELF KING ??? Okay that's kinda a slay. I see the intentions he had on wanting to help Vega.
This place is about to go fucking Crazy with all the Vampires. Asher and Avior you gotta get your people OUTTA HERE.
ECHO AGAIN ??? Ooough it's the ending !! Honestly what an amazing ending. What a great cliffhanger, even though it's not a cliffhanger at all-- it's an end. Ending two worlds just to save the divider. They did in fact Trade One Misery for Another, oh the cruel irony.
Surely this won't happen in the Prime right ? haha. . ..
----
THERE'S MORE ??? A POST CREDITS SCENE ?? I wonder how far into the future this is. Probably not too terribly far.
SAM GOT HUXLEY AS DAMIEN'S MEAL ??? OH MY GOD ??? Doomed Romance....
The tension is CRAAAZY. HE'S TURNING HIM INTO HIS PROGENY ??? HELL YEAH DUDE.
Final Thoughts: This was AMAZING !!!! Why did I avoid this for so long. How could you all keep this from me. Asher, Milo, and Vindemiator are my babygirls. I could literally think Forever about the Imperium Wolf Pack, and I hope Vin and Freelancer are able to keep their peace somewhere in the woods.
I have a bunch of Imperium Fics that need rereading ASAP. The brainrot is Disasterous.
You are my hero if you read ALL of this. I owe you my life. I'm so sorry lmao.
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted imperium#redacted cataclysm#moon's thoughts#oh my fucking GOD DUDE. THIS IS A MASTERPIECE.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
well. i finished whiplash. my brain chemistry has been forever altered and now i need to go eat ice cream out of a tub or something to debrief with myself. what the fuck, man
#no but like for real what the FUCK#it was a masterpiece of a film and ive never in my life wanted to be a musician less#the fucking mind games fletcher plays dude THE FUCKING MIND GAMES#I AM#HNNNNGGGGG WHAT THE FUCK#so so so so abusive im literally reeling#i made notes to myself while watching and theyre all just ''I AM SO STRESSED NOOOOO AAAAA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD okokok nO''#miles teller was fantastic in it and jk simmons knocked it out of the fucking park#like. just wow.#show this film to anybody you know who wants to be a drummer and they will nope tf out of there because i know i sure as hell would#good lord. what the fuck#whiplash#andis thought geyser
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
patience is a virtue
part 3 to invasion of privacy series
pairing: roommate!heeseung x afab reader
genre: smut, angst, minimal fluff (minors dni)
warnings: unprotected sex (be safe), use of the pull out method (do not do this), piv, tit sucking, nipple play, mutual masturbation, some indecent public acts, mentions of vomit, alcolohol consumption, heeseung is so bad at communicating it is actually physically painful, jake is still annoying and hoon is a film bro oh god
word count: 8.6k
a/n: pls don't gut me ik this took forever but i hope its worth it at least lawl enjoy yourselves (but not too much......) also someone needs to take ellipses away from me. also not proofread
read part 1 and part 2 first or else this won't make a ton of sense
[shithead]: you guys wanna come to the cave to play smash? i got some more of that indica and jay finally cleaned his bong 🙄
[grandfather]: come on dude it wasn’t even that dirty
[cullen tease]:..... no comment
[cullen tease]: but yea i’m down
[grandfather]: what about heeseung?
[shithead]: idk… it’s just been radio silence from him for like 3 days
[cullen tease]: yea what happened to him?
[grandfather]: well the last time we talked to him was right before he hung out with y/n sooo
[shithead]: no way
[shithead]: do you think she fucked him so hard he passed out for three whole days?
[cullen tease]: shut the fuck up jaeyun
[shithead]: i’m just saying!!! if i had a hot roommate like that i would gladly let her destroy me
[cullen tease]: that’s because you’re a man whore
[grandfather]: come on guys cut it out, you know how heeseung tends to get
[grandfather]: emotional
[cullen tease]: that’s the understatement of the year
[shithead]: wait what if…….
[shithead]: she killed him
[grandfather]: you’re an idiot
[shithead]: it’s a possibility! what if it’s like a jennifer’s body type situation
[cullen tease]: hold up, you’ve seen jennifer’s body?
[shithead]: duh… it has megan fox in it
[grandfather]: okay let's not stray from the situation at hand
[shithead]: wait hoon why is it so surprising that i’ve seen jennifer’s body?
[cullen tease]: i just didn’t peg you as the type of guy to enjoy films like that
[shithead]: what the fuck does that mean
[grandfather]: guys
[cullen tease]: dude come on, your favourite movie is grown ups 2
[shithead]: what’s wrong with grown ups 2?
[cullen tease]: what’s wrong with it is that it’s trash
[shithead]: are you fr? it is a cinematic masterpiece and i don’t appreciate you acting all high and mighty because you’re a fucking film major who likes boring and sad movies like the godfather or whatever
[grandfather]: can you two shut the fuck up? we need to figure out what’s going on with hee
[adult virgin]: i’m not dead
[cullen tease]: heeseung!
[grandfather]: heeseung!
[shithead]: heeseung! you’re alive!!!
[grandfather]: how you doin’ buddy?
[shithead]: yea what went down with you and sexy roomie at the drive-in? i just know the two of you got up to some freaky shit
[grandfather]: jaeyun i swear to god
[adult virgin]: i don’t wanna talk about it
[cullen tease]: uh oh
[shithead]: oh shit
[grandfather]: oh jeez
[shithead]: jay you question why we call you grandfather when you say shit like ‘oh jeez’
[grandfather]: now’s not the time jake
[cullen tease]: come on heeseung, i’m sure it wasn’t that bad
[adult virgin]: i’m never going on a date again
[shithead]: wait i thought you said it wasn’t a date???
[grandfather]: jake you are one text away from getting kicked out of this group chat
[cullen tease]: i say we kick him out now
[adult virgin]: can you guys please stop blowing up my phone?
[shithead]: no can do my friend
[shithead]: it’s time for an intervention
[adult virgin]: i’m good
[adult virgin]: the last thing i need right now is you guys screaming at me while i’m trying to cope
[shithead]: too late, jay’s already got the car running. i’m bringing weed!
[cullen tease]: i’ll bring the funyuns
[shithead]: see you soon hee!
[adult virgin]: guys fr i just wanna be alone
[adult virgin]: guys?
bang bang bang!!!
heeseung recoils when he hears his friends banging on his front door a mere 11 minutes after they said they were coming; a mere 11 minutes after he explicitly told them not to. he recoils even more when he hears you open the door for them.
“oh, hey y/n…” jay does nothing to try to hide his discontent when he sees you open the door and not his heartbroken friend.
jake, who’s lowkey wanted to bang you since heeseung first moved in with you, pays no mind to his friend's wariness and envelops you in a rib-crushing hug whilst shouting “i haven’t seen you in forever!!!!!”
“hey guys!” you say with a soft smile before patting jake on the shoulder in an attempt to let him know that he’s stealing all of your oxygen, “come in, can i get you anything?”
jay just scoffs, “no thanks y/n, we don’t need anything from you.”
a somewhat puzzled look makes its way onto your face, “ok… well heeseungs in his room if that’s what you’re here for.” you nonchalantly motion down the hall before returning to the kitchen, leaving the three boys alone in the foyer.
“damn jay, you could’ve been a little nicer. we still don’t know what even went down between them, remember?” sunghoon murmurs while leading the way to heeseungs bedroom.
“i guess we’re about to find out,” jay holds his breath before tentatively knocking on heeseungs door before opening it and stepping inside.
when heeseung sees his friends open his door and step into his room, he rolls over so his back is facing them. he thought he was very clear that he is not in the mood to talk. nevertheless, the three of them stride into his room like a boy band and close the door behind them. heeseung hopes they pay no mind to the piles and piles of bunched up kleenex littering his room that are all shrivelled up from his tears.
“heeeyyy buddy!” jay croons to his dishevelled friend as if he’s talking to a puppy or small child.
“damnnnn hee, that must’ve been some good pussy if it’s got you acting like this!!!” jake exclaims, which earns him an elbow in the ribs.
“didn’t i tell you guys not to come? i’m trying to latibulate in peace,” heeseung groans, his voice so monotonous and strained it sounds almost robotic.
“come on, you didn’t seriously think we were gonna listen to you, right?” sunghoon says matter-of-factly, his ebony bangs covering his eyes and making him look eerily mysterious.
heeseung just sighs. he feels his mattress shift underneath him and looks over to see that jay has taken a seat on the edge of his bed, his eyes full of what appears to be mostly concern, some disgust as he swipes a couple of dirty tissues onto the floor (he tries to cover this up with a crooked smile).
“sooo what happened?” jake breaks the silence and asks the question that’s sitting on the tip of everyone’s tongue. heeseung, now in a seated position, places his head between his knees and does his best to swallow his shame before retelling the event that took place a few days prior.
“well, we went to the drive-in…” he starts, voice muffled due to his head hanging low, “and at first it was fine, but then… an… intimate scene came on.”
sunghoon hangs his head at this, seemingly knowing where the story is going.
heeseung can’t bare to look at his friends faces as he proceeds, his cheeks ablaze with embarrassment as he recounts his unintentional virginity reveal, the two of you freaking it whilst surrounded by other movie goers, and the painful, painful silence that enveloped him for the rest of the night.
“and then she just… didn’t say anything. why the fuck didn’t she say anything???!!!!” he whines, his tone a complete 180 from what it was when he first spoke to his friends a short 3 minutes ago.
seemingly at a loss for words, jay just rests his hand on his friends shoulder, offering a gentle pat while sunghoon mumbles a quiet but heart-felt ‘beats me’ from where he’s leaning against heeseungs wall.
“females are so difficult to understand.”
“don’t say females jake, it makes you sound like an incel,” sunghoon suspires, the frayed ends of his hair fluttering in the process, “maybe she just thought you wanted to get it over with? or that you wanted something casual?”
“i don’t do casual.”
“okay, and how the fuck is she supposed to know that?” sunghoon retorts, defending you since you’re unable to defend yourself - jake subtly nods in agreeance.
“i don’t know! she’s way more emotionally intelligent than all of us combined so i thought that maybe she’d… pick up on it or something.” heeseung feels his energy depleting and he longs to simply curl up under his duvet and sleep the rest of the day away - or maybe the whole week actually.
“heeseung,” jay sympathizes, “we know you like y/n… but maybe it's just not gonna work out.”
jake interjects, “yea, and if she can’t see what an absolute package you are right now then maybe she never will! it’s her loss really,” he nods enthusiastically while looking at jay and sunghoon, prompting them to do the same - they do.
heeseung, with swollen cheeks and a bruised heart, can only offer a quiet “thanks guys” while wishing for the tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes to go away. he knows that moving on from you, whilst being extremely difficult, is the best thing to do.
after heeseungs feeble thanks, the room falls silent. so silent only that the hum of the a/c is the only detectable sound - that, and the steady inhales and exhales of the 4 boys trapped in heeseungs stuffy bedroom. someone exhales before the shuffling of feet and the creaking of floorboards can be heard. heeseung hardly has any time to react before something (or someone?) is flying through the air and is on track to land directly on top of him.
“DOG PILE ON HEESEUNG!!!” jake shouts while full-on launching himself onto heeseungs body, effectively squashing him into his mattress. the weight of his friend knocks the wind out of him and heeseung barely manages to croak “jaeyun what the fuc-” before the weight is doubled, then tripled as sunghoon and jay follow suit.
it’s hard to tell whose limbs belong to who as heeseungs friends tussle his hair and squeeze his cheeks (and crush his rib cage, but that’s besides the point) in an attempt to get their glum, heartbroken friend to cheer up. and, for the first time in days, a smile appears on heeseungs face.
order confirmed. you will be updated when your food is en route for delivery.
as if on cue, heeseung’s stomach lets out a cavernous growl. he pats it comfortingly as if to say ‘it’s ok, soon you’ll be filled to the brim with an ice cold baja blast and 2 crunch wrap supremes. just hold on a little longer.’
nothing quite like eating away all of your sorrows.
it’s easy to forget how pivotal a kitchen is in one’s everyday life until it’s stripped away from you like a baby from its mother. ok, maybe not stripped away. more like consciously avoiding it to make sure that you don’t have an awkward run in with your roommate who performed oral sex on you several days ago and is now sending you mixed signals. the thought of having to hold an actual conversation with you makes heeseungs skin crawl.
he’s been successfully avoiding you for 4 days now, ensuring that he only leaves his room when absolutely necessary - and only doing so when he’s positive that you’re in your room or out of the house. before exiting his bedroom he spends minutes with his ear pressed up to his flimsy bedroom door, making sure the coast is clear before making a break for it.
one may think he’s being extra. just talk to her for crying out loud! but heeseung has managed to convince himself that you think he’s bottom of the barrel scum; the last piece of bread that always gets tossed; the mosquito on your wall that you whack with a rolled up newspaper as soon as you see it.
trash!
and so, he spends his days rotting away in his bedroom, his mattress now donning a permanent indent of the shape of his body; his trash can overflowing with wrappers from taco bell and mcdonalds; his laptop struggling to keep up with all of the mind-numbing streaming of shitty television he’s been doing.
one time he gave into his hopeless romantic side and watched the notebook but it made him cry so hard he woke up with a migraine. another time he got an ad for top gun: maverick and he wanted to die. stupid top gun. stupid tom cruise. stupid miles teller with his stupid moustache. now, he sticks to scrolling through tik tok and watching reruns of below deck sailing yacht and survivor.
he can feel his eyes starting to get heavy when a vibration from his phone jolts him back to reality, scrambling to find the device that he so mindlessly tossed underneath his comforter. his fingers finally come in contact with it, and he peers at the lit-up screen.
your food has been delivered. receipt/tip available.
yes! it feels as if his stomach has been quite literally eating itself for the past half hour, so heeseung leaps up at the prospect of soon having food in his belly. in fact he’s so excited at the idea of his taco bell order waiting for him that the thought of doing his ritualistic check to make sure he won’t have a run-in with you completely slips his mind.
so, when he swings open his door and bolts down the hallway, head filled with nothing but thoughts of chowing down on a tortilla filled with meat, lettuce and cheese, his heart practically falls to his stomach when instead he almost literally runs into you. you, holding a glass of water with your eyes wide like a fawn, taking in heeseungs dishevelled appearance after not seeing him for over half a week.
shit.
shitshitshitshitshitshit.
this was not supposed to happen.
“heeseung!” you say with enthusiasm (and a bit of concern).
it is in this very moment that heeseung fully understands what a deer must feel like when falling in front of the headlights of an oncoming vehicle - frozen.
“uh…. heeey y/n.” his throat feels like it’s about to close. is he having an allergic reaction to you?
seeing as plan a (get his food and go back to his room while avoiding you all together) has fallen through, he attempts to resort to plan b: grab taco bell bag and run like hell back to the safety of his bedroom.
unfortunately plan b also falls through, for once he worms himself to the front door and grabs the slightly warm paper bag and drink left on his porch he whips around only to see you standing in front of him, blocking his path to the safe haven that is his musty bedroom, (he’s reminded of admiral ackbar in episode vi of star wars - ‘it’s a trap!!!’).
“wait, can we talk?” your face is one of disquietude, “i feel like you’ve been… avoiding me.”
upon hearing your concerns, heeseung does what he’s best at - playing dumb.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
your face quickly changes, brows furrowed and eyes slightly squinted as if to say ‘are you shitting me?’. in a split second it seems as if you’re able to read heeseung like an open book, much to his dismay, before you open your mouth to speak again.
“did… did what i do at the drive-in make you uncomfortable?”
“no…” more like what you didn’t do - profess your undying love and devotion to him with tears in your eyes while he reassures you that he feels the same way and the two of you ride off into the sunset on a horse and start a new life in venice or kyoto or somewhere romantic and secluded.
“okay, so then why are you acting so weird?”
“i’m… stressed. sooo stressed. classes are killing me and i have a huge paper due soon.” liar. he’s excelling in all of his classes and doesn’t have anything due for another 5 days.
“oh, well what’s it about? maybe i can help you!” you offer while taking a step towards him. usually his heart would be leaping at the prospect of the two of you having some one on one time even if it is for a class, but right now that’s the last thing he needs.
“it’s about….. shakespeare.”
“shakespeare? i thought you were an engineering major-”
“it’s an elective. i’m very interested in classical literature.” no he’s not.
“oh, nice. hey why are you talking so weirdly? you sound like siri when i ask her a question.”
that’s it. he needs to get out of this conversation before he raises any more suspicion.
“i’m way deep into the academic headspace. speaking of,” he motions towards his bedroom door with his index finger, “i need to get back to work.” more like he needs to wallow in his own self-pity.
“wait, can we talk more? i still feel like you’re not telling me something,” you say while looking like a kicked puppy, and heeseung tries to not fall into your glassy, pleading gaze.
“it’s fine y/n, i get it.” he thinks you’re the light of his life and you think of him as your loser roommate who was all whiny about being a virgin so you did what you needed to do to shut him up. case closed.
“get… what?”
heeseung doesn’t respond, doesn’t give you the time of day. he simply exits the kitchen and closes his bedroom door behind him. he spares no final glance behind him because he knows the sight of you standing there with a hurt and perplexed look on your face will have him crawling back to you on his hands and knees.
instead, he shuffles into bed and tries to focus on whatever he was watching on his laptop prior to the most painful conversation he’s ever had in his entire life, his now tepid crunch wrap sitting in his limp grasp.
salty crocodile tears start rolling down his cheeks for the nth time this week.
“i am gonna get sooo many bitches tonight.”
“you shouldn’t call women bitches jake, that’s rude.”
pre-gaming in the cave before going out is a must. the four guys play a couple rounds of pong and flip cup while jay and jake chug putrid pilsner’s and pabst blue ribbons while sunghoon and heeseung opt for a much more tame rum and coke.
tonight he’s being dragged to a place he seldom ventures: a club.
heeseung doesn’t really like clubs.
he prefers bars where he can sit and drink and talk to his friends instead of clubs where he has to (attempt to) dance and drink and shout over the blasting music to communicate with anyone. alas, jake was adamant on going to this one particular place downtown where apparently he got with 3 different girls in one night (everyone knows that’s definitely not true, but they continue to humour him).
furthermore, his friends have decided that the financial blow of cover fees and shots at a club is worth getting heeseung up and out of his frowsty bedroom that has somewhat turned into something you would see on an episode of hoarders, so tonight’s outing will be free (for him at least).
“okay hee,” jake grabs his friend by the shoulders and shakes him aggressively, as if they’re two football players about to head onto the field, “gimme the game plan for tonight broski.”
“i’m gonna forget about y/n, and i’m gonna find a pretty girl,” heeseung says in the most sportsmanlike manner he can conjure up, “and i’m gonna fu…… i’m gonna make love to her.”
jake simply shakes his head in dismay, “no heeseung, you’re gonna fuck her. got it? go ahead, say it.”
“i’m gonna…” his neck feels like it’s flaring up, “i can’t say it, it feels rude and misogynistic.”
“dude, girls like to get fucked. they think it’s hot!!! now say ‘fuck’,” jake attests before staring at heeseung expectantly.
“okay………………. fuck.”
“hell yea bro! fuck!” jay joins in while clapping heeseung on the back in support.
“yea, fuck!!!”
“FUCK!!!!!!” sunghoon joins as well.
“FUUUUUUCK!!!” heeseung screams. the liquor in his bloodstream, while not copious, is making him feel fuzzy.
and finally, jake closes it out with, “LETS GO FUCK SHIT UP BROS!!!!!!” before storming out of the door with sunghoon following suit.
jay swings a beefy arm around heeseungs blocky shoulders and drags him along, the two of them soon catching up to hoon and jake who are whooping and hollering about god knows what. in the back of heeseungs mind he wonders what he’s gotten himself into.
immediately upon arrival heeseung is reminded once again of his detestment for clubs. they’re too loud and ho, and impersonal.
the floors and walls are shaking with some throwback early 2000’s pop song and after about 10 seconds the soles of his shoes are already covered in sticky syrup from spilled drinks. he follows his friends into the sea of people trying to get drunk or trying to get laid or both.
in the midst of the crowd he brushes shoulders with a guy he swears he’s seen before, a tall brute guy with blonde hair tied into a man bun and a red flannel hugging his shoulders (who wears a flannel to a club?), but he can’t quite remember when and where they’ve crossed paths before.
as sunghoon shoulders his way to the bar to order a round of tequila shots, heeseung stays planted to his spot on the floor, his eyes scanning his surroundings and taking everything in to the best of his abilities considering that purple and blue LED lights are painting everyone and everything within the establishment.
his eyes make their way from the bar to the dance floor to a section of stand-up tables, where he finds a pretty girl in leather pants and a cheetah print corset top staring right back at him. when their gaze’s connect she flashes him a small smile, which he returns.
“jake,” heeseung smacks his friend’s shoulder, “that girl won’t stop staring at me.”
“see hee! we told you you’d pull someone.”
he smirks, then panics, “what should i do?”
“what’s going on?” sunghoon turns around with four shooters balanced between his spindly ple fingers, each one filled with a menacing clear liquor that will ultimately decide his fate this evening. you’re not you when you’re sober but you’re you when you’re drunk!
jake grabs a shot greedily, like a leprechaun stumbling upon a pot of gold, “some chick is ogling at hee.”
sunghoon’s lip curls upwards, “lets go dawg!” he cheers while passing heeseung a shot as if it's a reward for receiving attention from a woman.
heeseung stares at the tequila in the glass he’s holding with his thumb and index finger; it stares back at him. in one swift move he downs it, then does the same with jake’s, jay’s, and finally sunghoon’s, who all stare at him in disbelief. he tries his best to not make a sour face, but he can’t hold back the deep cough that leaps out of him as the tequila burns his throat on its way down his esophagus and into his stomach.
“wow, okay.” jay says in astonishment, which prompts him to start laughing; everyone else begins to laugh as well, including heeseung.
“go talk to her shithead!” jake exclaims while shoving heeseung towards the mystery girl and her friends with much more force than necessary, making him stumble over his own feet much like bambi attempting to walk for the first time.
when he’s close enough he flashes her a toothy grin, his eyes trained on hers; her pupils look like deep pools of ink in the scarcity of good lighting. she just looks at him, a pretty smile painted on her face that pushes the apples of her cheeks to the sky.
“hey.”
“hi~”
“i’m heeseung.”
“okay heeseung, wanna dance?”
“uh sure!” he exclaims, albeit maybe a little too much excitement in his inflection.
the cheetah girl doesn’t say anything, just grabs his hand by the wrist (and thank god his wrist because his palms are embarrassingly sweaty) and drags him in the general direction of the dance floor. before he becomes completely swallowed by the mass of swaying bodies, he catches sunghoon and jay giving him a thumbs up from across the room - jake is too busy making out with someone to do the same.
heeseung feels the fabric of his shirt sticking to his chest and lower back as he gets mixed up with the plethora of other sweaty bodies, trying to move in a sensual yet confident way that hopefully impresses the pretty girl he’s praying he’ll go home with. with his nose tucked into the crook of her neck he rocks his body against hers to the beat of the music, his pelvis bumping against her ass methodically.
“you’re so cute!” she squeals at his awkward attempt to grind up on her.
dear god. when oh when will he ever the patronizing, dehumanizing, emasculating label of ‘cute’? cute is what you say when you see a nest of baby bunnies, or an elderly couple on a date. heeseung is a grown man, he should be called handsome, statuesque, sexy even!!!
nevertheless, heeseung attempts to not let cheetah girl’s comment sour his mood. she’ll see how manly he really is, he’ll show her. in fact he’ll show her right now!
in this very moment he discovers why alcohol has been gifted the name of liquid courage since before he can even process what he’s doing he’s pulling cheetah girl out of the stuffy crowd of inebriated club goers, dragging her to an empty bathroom stall, and placing his tequila coated lips on hers.
she immediately reciprocates, because why else would she be giving him bedroom eyes across a crowded club if she didn’t want something along this vein to occur? despite being a virgin (? does getting your dick suck count as a loss of virginity?), he has made out with multiple girls on multiple different occasions prior to this one, so he lets his mouth and tongue and hands act on their own accord.
it feels as if his brain is swimming inside of his skull, making all of his senses blurred and fuzzy like tv static. he feels a pair of teeth sinking into his bottom teeth and he groans, his eyes squeezing shut impossibly tighter and his fingers digging into cheetah girl’s hips. she emits and airy moan in response, allowing heeseung to slot his tongue against hers - he tastes the vodka mixed with cranberry juice she was drinking when he approached her on the inside of her mouth.
the tip of his nose continuously bumps against hers as he sloppy sucks on her tongue and her teeth, his lips soon detaching to make their way across her jaw and down her neck. there he sinks his canines into her skin, causing her to hiss in both pleasure and pain before exhaling blissfully, her hot breath fanning across heeseung face as he reverts to kissing her on the mouth once again.
from the dj booth he hears the intro of a song that has his eyes shooting open - baby one more time by britney spears. the song that you alway play when you’re getting ready to go out, the song he chose to play during the car ride to the drive-in. he feels a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about the way you touched him that night, the way you wrapped your hand and lips around his cock without a second thought. his jaw slacks and his hands fall to his sides as his brain starts to move at a million miles per hour.
a mouth that’s not yours is pressed against his while a tongue that’s not yours slips inside and traces his teeth. heeseung can hear his pulse in his ears beating faster than the bass that vibrates the floors and the walls and the ceiling of the club that he now so desperately wishes he wasn’t in. a hand that isn’t yours pops the button of his jeans and slips past the waistband of his underwear. all he can think is how this feels so not… right. none of this is right!
without properly thinking he somewhat shoves the pretty but unknown girl off of him, prompting her to shout “what the fuck asshole??!!?” before storming out of the stall and off to find her friends to undoubtedly complain about what a selfish prick he is. but honestly, he doesn’t care. all he can think about is you and your touch and everything you encompass.
with a considerable amount of shoving heeseung makes his way outside, paying no mind to the select people that shoot him dirty looks after getting elbowed in the side. too inebriated to consider ordering an uber or calling a cab, he begins the 20 minute trek back to his apartment where he’s praying that you’re still residing, likely settled in your bed reading a book or watching season 2 of the bear. the cool night air stings his lungs as he trips and stumbles on the concrete with every other step he takes on his way back home, his way back to you.
being outside does absolutely nothing to sober heeseung up (especially considering that he downed 4 tequila shots not so long ago), and when the familiar front door of your shared rental house comes into view he practically runs to it, swinging it open and letting it bang against the wall before calling your name and jogging down the hallway. his shoes clomp against the hardwood floors as he approaches your door, the soft yellow glow emanating from underneath it the only source of light in the dark hallway.
“y/n?” heeseung barges into your bedroom, almost ripping your door off of its hinges in the process. once inside he sees you perched on your bed, your sheets pulled over your bent knees and a book with a splotchy blue cover in your grasp.
“what are you doing?” he questions you breathlessly.
your glance shifts from heeseung to the open book in your hands then back to heeseung, “reading?”
“oh, duh,” he pretends to facepalm while chuckling, your eyes still trained on his with a glint of scepticism. the gravity of his situation starts to dawn on him and he braces himself against your doorframe in an attempt to get the floor to stop spinning.
you furrow your brows and stare at heeseung pointedly, “are you drunk?”
“a little,” he hiccups, “actually a lot, but that’s besides the point.” finally he feels the courage he had 20 minutes ago at the club surge through him once more and he stumbles into your room, stopping at the corner of your bed and gazing down on you like you’re an ant.
“i have to tell you something.”
“okay.”
silence.
“...what do you wanna tell me?”
“oh, right.” come on heeseung, it’s now or never. he decides to take a seat on the edge of your bed so he’s looking directly at you, and he picks at the holes in his jeans as he ponders how to start.
“uhh… i really like the way you fold the dish towels in the kitchen.”
a look of shock makes its way onto your face - you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that of all things. before you can utter a word, a sound even, heeseung starts to ramble.
“and you smell really nice. like, really nice. and i think you’re really pretty, e-even when you’re angry, like when i wake you up to ask for a ride to campus when i’ve missed the bus. and i like how you chew on the inside of your cheek when you’re focused, and how you ruffle my hair when i say something stupid… which is a lot.”
he pauses briefly to catch his breath, then continues on, “and i don’t let anyone eat my lucky charms except for you, n-not even my friends when they spend the night, because i know they remind you of being a kid and that you like to pick out the clover shaped marshmallows. and i like the way you draw smiley faces in the condensation on the mirror in the bathroom after you shower, and the way you exclusively listen to stevie nicks when you’re cleaning, an-”
“heeseung,” you interject, causing him to draw in a shaky inhale, “what are you trying to say?”
“what i’m trying to say is that i lo-” nope!!!!!! waaay too soon. luckily even drunk heeseung can recognize the damage an actual profession of love would cause. thank god he caught himself.
“i really really like you, ok? and i feel like you just see me as a-” here come the waterworks, “as a looooserrrrrrrr,” try as he might, heeseung can’t stop the pathetic, drunken sobs that escape his trembling lips.
“oh god, heeseung-” your feeble voice does little to drown out the wails emanating from the drunken boy perched on the corner of your bed, his hair a mess and his cheeks flushed pink; you’re unsure if it’s from the alcohol or the crying.
half a week of pent up confusion and sadness and heartbreak escapes him in the form of reverberating howls, his shoulders shaking even after you place a comforting hand on his back in an attempt to calm him down.
“and when you did… that at the drive-in, i thought that maybe meant that you liked me too.” he sniffles before wiping his nose with his sleeve; you reach over to your night stand and hand him a tissue.
“oh jesus, i’m so sorry hee i didn’t mean to confuse you i just-” you take a second to collect your thoughts, your thumb still caressing heeseungs backs through his shirt, “the way you were talking just made it seem like you just wanted to get it over with,” your hand doesn’t leave his back, “like, no strings attached, you know?”
“no… not no strings attached. i want strings attached. i want exclusivity. i want you.” his tears roll down to his mouth and he can taste the salt on his tongue.
“heeseung…” you all but whisper, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.
he wants to say more, only when he tries to formulate his thoughts into words, he finds himself yaking all over your floor before passing out.
pain.
the first thing heeseung feels when he wakes up is pain.
not mental pain, which is what he’s felt for the past 5 days, but physical pain. an aching headache that shoots up from the base of his skull and wraps around to his forehead and flares at the back of his eyeballs. it’s settled, he is never touching alcohol ever again.
an acidic burn tickles his throat, and soon the memories from last night come flooding back to him. the cheetah girl at the club, the solemn and unsobering walk home, the drunken confession, and lastly, the puking.
he cracks his eyes open and immediately recoils, for the golden glow of the morning sun increases the aching in his head and behind his eyes tenfold. jesus, what time is it? a couple of blinks help his eyes adjust to the light, and he becomes aware of the figure sitting to the right of him. in a split second he soon realizes that he’s in your room, tucked under your sheets, inhaling the scent of your shampoo that’s become permanently woven into your pillows.
oh? oh. oh god. did you two….?
heeseungs restlessness draws your attention, and soon you're gazing down at him with a soft expression that makes heeseung feel all soft like honey.
“hey sleeping beauty.” you tease, your eyes still puffy with traces of sleep and the book you were reading before he oh so rudely interrupted you last night is in your hands again - a well-loved copy of murakami’s kafka on the shore, which you place on your nightstand for the sake of passing heeseung a tall glass of water and an advil. he downs both immediately.
“please tell me that the image i have of myself puking on your floor is something my brain conjured up while i was sleeping and not something that actually happened,” he rasps, throat stinging and nose stuffy.
“hate to break it to ya buddy,” you tsk while nodding sympathetically, “but that actually happened.”
heeseung shoves his head into your pillow, his thumbs pressing against his closed eyelids both in an attempt to relieve the ache and as an act of shame. he groans aloud, “oh god y/n i am so sorry, i-”
“heeseung it’s o-kay,” you punctuate, “shit happens.”
still unable to look at you, heeseung just nods, the friction from your silk pillowcase making a couple strands of his hair stand on end.
“besides, it was mostly clear,” you look off into the distance, “mostly.”
a second of quiet, and then you ask him, “how much of last night do you remember?”
he rolls onto his back, index and middle fingers of his right hand pinching the bridge of his nose, “most of it, it guess. i remember going out with my friends, stumbling back here and… telling you that i like you…”
“actually i believe you said that you really, really like me.” your sleep swollen lips curve into a teasing smirk.
“fuck off,” he jeers while playfully pushing your shoulder.
“woah!!! lee heeseung drops f-bombs now eh?”
he just chuckles, his hands moving to pass through his frazzled hair. as he shifts under your poofy comforter he realizes he’s still donning the clothes he wore last night - spare for his shoes, which he’s assuming you took off of him and likely put them on the shoe rack by the front door.
a silence settles over the two of you, but this time it’s comfortable. it’s not estranged or pointed, but hospitable.
“i didn’t know you felt that way about me.” you state. it’s not a positive or negative statement, simply neutral; an admission.
heeseung doesn’t say anything, just gazes at your side profile and admires the way your eyelashes grace the tops of your cheeks, the way your top lip converges at your cupids bow, the way your cheekbones are dotted with blemishes.
“can i kiss you?” he asks, “please?”
a plea.
and, in your secluded bedroom on this bright saturday morning, you answer him by pressing your lips to his.
it’s strange, since heeseung can’t seem to discern any actual sensations, he just feels incredibly warm. warm and soft, like taffy that’s been left out and has melted in the glow of the sun. his heart is flipping inside of the cage that is his ribs as he pushes his pursed lips against yours in reciprocation.
you detach your lips from his for a second only to reattach them moments later in a deeper, more passionate kiss that heeseung exhales into, the tip of his nose gracing yours as he tilts his head to sink impossibly deeper into you. his curious hands make their way up to the back of your neck where he grabs ahold and pulls you against him so your torso is on top of his own, your heart beating against his.
underneath the confines of your comforter heeseung feels your leg glide against his own, the sheets crinkling and tangling in the process. his mouth continues to dance against yours with his tongue experimentally poking out every so often before he pushes it past your lips and into your hot mouth. a whimper makes its way out of you and heeseung swears that if he were standing his knees surely would’ve given out from underneath him.
“heeseung…” you whine before nipping at his cushiony bottom lip, sucking at it to soothe the sting - and to make heeseung swoon even more. ugh! he just can’t get enough of you and your sickeningly sweet demeanour.
as you continue to kiss and suck at heeseung pouty lips and perfect teeth you become more and more restless, your hands moving to smooth over the expanse of his chest and the tops of his shoulders where they come to rest. the palms of your hands are soft and delicate and they send a shiver down heeseung’s spine as he feels them grace his cloth covered skin that’s slightly damp with sweat.
with (what seems like) some reluctance, you remove your mouth from heeseung’s with a wet smack. when he cracks open his eyes he finds you beholding him wistfully, your pupils dilated and lips swollen and glossy with lip gloss of his own making.
“can you show me how you get yourself off?”
your voice is deep and slow; sultry, like a glass of oxblood coloured cabernet sauvignon. his breath hitches in his throat once he fully registers the request you just made. show you? on his own??? he does his best to swallow his nerves.
“sure,” heeseung agrees bashfully, “if you can do the same.”
“okay.” you smile before tossing the blankets off of both of your hot bodies. a much welcomed gust of cool air causes heeseung to erupt in a fit of goosebumps (although he’s not quite sure if that’s from the change in temperature or his current predicament).
unsure of what to do next, he waits to follow your lead. with hungry eyes he watches you pull of your pyjama bottoms before tossing them in a heap on the floor, leaving you in a pair of plain light blue panties and an oversized band tee. in somewhat of a rush heeseung fumbles with the hardware of his jeans, struggling to pop the button and tug down the copper zipper at the fault of his nerves. eventually he does so successfully, discarding his bottoms before becoming stuck in limbo.
with deft fingers you begin to drag the hem of your shirt upwards, exposing more and more of your torso before stopping once you reach your sternum. the soft underside of your breasts are just barely peeking out from underneath the fabric.
heeseung watches with wide eyes and a painfully hard cock as you slip your hand underneath the waistband of your panties in one swift motion, a motion that he’s sure you’ve done hundreds of times before this. his brain swims as he thinks about all of the times you’ve touched yourself in this very room, in this very bed.
your knuckles strain and push at the fabric of your underwear as you play with yourself, your chest rising and falling steadily but with slightly more erraticism than before. heeseung follows in your footsteps and reaches to the thick elastic waistband of his boxers, hesitating for only a second before pushing the garment down to his hips, allowing his hard cock to slap against his tense stomach. he spits in his palm before wrapping his hand around the base of his shaft, giving it a few tentative strokes and watching the way his stomach spasms.
“i don’t think i said this before,” you purr, “but you have a really nice cock heeseung.”
your admittance has heeseung overheating, his cheeks and chest flushing a pretty shade of pink. his stomach twists and churns and he slowly starts to jerk himself knowing that you’re watching his every move, like a vulture stalking its pretty. to distract himself from his own ministrations heeseung looks at you, his gaze travelling from your hand in your panties to your chest to your face where he finds you staring back at him, causing him to quickly look away out of sheer embarrassment of being caught.
“what do you think about when you touch yourself?”
you. obviously.
but he doesn’t say that.
he just remains quiet, his eyes darting from place to place but of course, no answer does not satiate your appetite for knowledge, so you push further.
“do you think about me?”
yes. obviously.
he nods steadily in response before realizing that that simply isn’t a satisfactory response.
“always.” his voice is small yet unwavering.
you smile at his admittance, eyes hazy with desire and your cheek squished against your pillow due to your head being turned towards him. breathy moans and pleas tumble past your lips as you finger yourself, your hips rolling into the heel of your palm. slick wet sounds can be heard both from you and from heeseung, whose precum is aiding in his ability to pump his dick at an increasing speed. the burning pit in his stomach slowly grows and grows and he moans aloud, jolting slightly when the outside of your thigh brushes against his own.
as he feels himself approaching the cusp of an orgasm, the familiar sensation looming closer and closer like a moth drawn to a flame, your hand grabs his arm prompting him to stop, your middle and ring fingers wet against where they’re wrapped around his forearm.
in the next second you’re sitting up, hands grasping the hem of your shirt once again only to fully remove it this time, exposing your back back and tits to him rendering him speechless. you discard your panties as well, leaving you completely bare as you move to straddle heeseung’s tense thighs. all he does is look at you in astonishment, mouth slightly agape.
without thinking heeseung reaches forward and envelops both of your breasts with his big hands, his palms rubbing against your hardened nipples while his fingers gently dig into the soft flesh.
“your tits are perfect,” he rasps, hand moving in circular motions to massage your chest.
“really?” your eyes light up at the compliment.
he nods, his adams apple bobbing in his throat as he remains enamoured with your figure. your fingers tickle his sides before grasping at his shirt, tugging at it in a way that tells him you want it off; he sits up and removes the garment before you place a palm on his chest and push him back onto your mattress, the springs making a slight squeak at the force. your eyes rake over heeseung’s bare chest as he lays before you, a shaky exhale leaving him every few seconds or so.
“you’re so handsome lee heeseung.” you compliment.
“even when i’m hungover?”
“even when you’re hungover.”
you crawl over his body, just a little bit, so your hips are unbearably close to his aching cock, the tip an enraged red spilling pearly white beads of precum. heeseung tries his best to not shudder when you wrap your hands around his shaft, moving yourself to be perched directly above his dick. you drag his tip through your folds to be a tease, only when the boy beneath you begins to squirm do you line his cock up wit your dripping hole before sinking down on it ever so slowly, gauging heeseungs reaction with scrutiny. he looks quite pretty, with his eyes screwed shut and bottom lip tucked between his teeth, his forehead dotted with beads of sweat. once he’s fully inside of you you remain stagnant, hips flush against his own.
heeseung feels like he’s gone limp, his limbs turned to mush and inoperable. he keeps his eyes tightly shut as he becomes accustomed to the feeling of being inside of you, for he knows if he sees you sitting on top of him he’s going to have heart palpitations.
only once heeseungs face slowly starts to relax, his eyelids slowly fluttering open, do you begin to move, gyrating your pelvis against his at a leisurely pace. heeseung can’t help but whimper when he feels you grinding on top of him, his cock throbbing and sensitive inside the warmth of your pussy.
your hands rest on heeseungs chest to help you stabilize yourself, your nails digging into the soft skin covering his pecs and leaving behind deep red marks. heeseungs hands move to grab at your hips and you arch your back in response, teasingly shoving your tits in his face - he takes this as an invitation and pulls you closer to him so he can wrap hips lips around your left nipple, sucking on it while palming the other.
“oh my-, heeseung,” you moan as heeseung continues to play with your breasts eagerly. in response you increase the pace at which your hips are moving at, grinding against him in a fluid, persistent manner that makes heeseungs vision grow warped fuzzy. once again he feels the slow burn of an orgasm take flight in his stomach, slowly ebbing outwards as you work him towards his climax.
the moans and groans leaving him come out muffled due to his mouth still being wrapped around your breast, only detaching once the need for oxygen becomes stronger and stronger and his heart beats faster and faster. your fingers feel hot against his skin as you fuck him raw, the sensation of your cunt constricting around his cock feeling so other worldly that heeseung believes that you and your pussy and your body the only things tethering to him reality.
his name tumbles past your lips in the form of needy whines as your movements slowly become more and more erratic, your eyes rolled back into your skull as you chase your high. all heeseung can do is lie underneath you, his fingers back on your hips while the tantalizing promise of a mind blowing orgasm renders him almost immobile. sweat rolls off of his brows as he pants and groans, hips feebly bucking upwards in an attempt to make him cum faster.
“i’m so close y/n i-” is all he can manage to whimper to let you know that he’s about to finish, about to erupt into a thousand hot white stars. you moan an ‘i know’ in response before reaching down to play with your clit, your cunt tightening around heeseungs cock with each and every flick of your fingers.
you orgasm with a desperate whine, brows furrowed and eyes shut as you keel over heeseung. your pussy flutters around his cock and you manage to pull yourself off of him right before he cums with a cry of your name, spilling his hot sticky seed all over the expanse of his stomach, which twitches and spasms every so often.
the two of you lay side by side as you wait for your heart rates to lower, for your breathing to steady, for the aching in your lower abdomen to cease. there’s a slight ringing in heeseungs ears which slowly subsides overtime, allowing him to listen to the way your pants morph into heavy breathing. in his peripherals he can see your chest, see the way your eyes are heavy with pleasure. you move your hand just enough so that your knuckles trace across the back of heeseungs hand.
the room comes to a standstill, with the sun peeking through the slats in your shades falling across his tainted stomach that rises and falls with each erratic inhale and exhale he takes. you shift to lie on your side so you’re facing heeseung, allowing your fingertips to dance over his clavicle, his neck, his jawline.
bliss.
euphoria.
a happy ending.
a/n: and to think some of y'all didn't believe that i was gonna give you a happy ending.......... what do you have to say for yourselves now huh? HUH??????? here's you're happy ending i'm gonna go cry now bc i'm weirdly emotionally attached to this series.
patience is a virtue taglist: @hello-stranger24 @jainandan @yohanabanana @iamliacamila @nyanggk @chansmaze @beomgyusonlywife
#enhypen smut#lee heeseung smut#enhypen imagines#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen blurbs#enhypen x reader#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung fanfiction#lee heeseung blurbs#lee heeseung imagines#kpop smut
683 notes
·
View notes
Text
Janitor: Ohhh look at this man.
(Etoiles giggles)
Janitor: Look at this guy, look at this big peepee guy.
Etoiles: (Laughs) Dude you got a so big peepee man, you got a-
Janitor: Look at this-
Etoiles: Dude you got a-
Janitor: Look at this museum guy. Holy shit. Mona Lisa. Oh shit! Look at this.
Etoiles: (Laughing) What the fuck- Dude there is so many museum to do in Mexico man.
Janitor: Look at this guy, holy shit, like the museums oh my god.
Etoiles: Oh my god dude it’s you the masterpiece man. Your ass should be in a museum man.
Janitor: No you need to be in the museum man. You’re so fucking beautiful. And very strong and big peepee.
Etoiles: Big p- Do you think like every big peepee person should be in a museum man?
Janitor: Obviously. Obviously. Obviously man.
Etoiles: But why are you in prison Janitor?
Janitor: Uhm, I’m here because I played very bad Smash Brothers Ultimate on the switch. I’m like a hacker. I’m like a god and the people say that I’m cheating but I’m not cheating man. I’m too fucking good at the game.
Etoiles: Dude you got in prison because of too good man? What the fuckk.
Janitor: Yeah man, I know it’s a fucking shit man.
271 notes
·
View notes
Note
Husband mark fucking his pregnant wife plss
[11:31PM]
GENRE: father mark, fluff and smut!
WARNINGS: dilf!mark, pregnant milf!reader, kissing, breast play, breeding, praising, dirty talking, spanking, shower sex, and just pure fluff!
AN| happy (late) father’s day! i know, i know. i’m late to this post BUT, you know me, im late to/with everything! anywho, i want to say thank both my daddies. my dad dad and my bf daddy. ANYWHO! happy father’s day to my dad who lives miles and miles away from me, i love you dearly and wish you the best without having the best daughter in the world next to you. and to my daddy who’s next to me in bed (resting after having good pussy), i love you too.
the door unlocks and you try your best to quickly scramble up from the couch with your pint of ice cream in one hand and a fork in the other.
you hear a deep sigh and a bag being dropped on the ground.
at last, you’re able to lift yourself off the couch and onto your feet.
being seven months pregnant with a big belly was a struggle.
“mark, hunnie?” you call out and walk over to the front door space. “mark— oh, jesus christ!” you jump when mark jumpscares you.
“shit— baby, you scared me— oh, my god. i’m so sorry, baby.” marks hands land on your lower back and the side of your belly.
you sigh and attempt to wrap your arms around mark but your belly keeps you two at a distance. mark giggles at your cuteness and pulls you in front of him, putting his arms above your belly and dipping his chin on your shoulder.
“i’m sorry, hunnie.” you rub his arms and rock side to side. “no, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to scare my pregnant wife— just didn’t expect us to go separate paths.” he laughs.
“it’s alright— anyways, how was work?” mark groans and drops his head back before dropping his forehead on the back of your head.
mark sighs, “i’m so pissed. it’s father’s day and they wouldn’t allow me to go home early so i could spend time with you and jae-mi. they said they’d let us leave early because they knew we had plans for father’s day but still were planning to keep us until midnight until taeyong spoke up and they finally just let us leave.”
you frown, “aw, i’m sorry, baby. i’m sorry you are under such a shitty company who doesn’t care about you. and, i’m glad taeyong spoke up. i genuinely was gonna be a karen tonight and march on over to your practice room and complain about you not being home and missing out father’s day— jae-mi was really upset that you weren’t coming home. every hour that went by, she asked and asked if you were coming home yet. it was so disappointing to tell her that you weren’t just yet.”
“not a karen,” mark laughs. “just a loving, worried, moody wife who cares about her husbands well being under my shitty company who doesn’t care about me at all.”
“but, what did you and jae-mi do for father’s day while i was out on schedules?” you smile and bite on his hand crossed in front of you. “we just baked a bit for you, y’know— made some strawberry shortcake cupcakes and brownies.”
“uhhh,” you jump and mark pauses. “let’s go to the kitchen and i’ll let you know else we did.”
you continue to tell mark about what you and your five year old did without mark while walking over to the kitchen.
“woah— woah! what the— woah!” mark gasps and lets go of you. “dude— what! yo, this is sick!” mark jumps excitedly as he sees the frosted (and topped off with cut up strawberries) cupcakes and powered brownies.
you laugh at how mark went from being pissed to being so hyper from seeing sweets.
“wait, that isn’t even the best part. look,” you go around the island and grab the drying white paper from the fridge. “look, look!” you hold up the paper and mark squeals.
“who made this?” mark says, grabbing the paper from you. “this is an absolute masterpiece, what the!” mark says, admiring the art piece.
you tuck your hands behind your back and tilt your head. “jae-mi made it for you. she said she wanted to make something for you that you’d like and.. she made.. a heart with the letter ‘M’ in it.”
“oh, right! she made more for you, look.” you grab the other pieces of paper from the dining table and you pass them to mark.
“aww, this is sick. where’s my little girl?” mark says looking through the art works.
one was a glitter-glued-on-written sign that said, happy father’s day to the best daddy, in blue glitter.
another said, #1 daddy, in pink glitter.
“your little girl is sound asleep in her bed.” mark evens the papers and sets them on the island. “well, i’ll tell her tomorrow morning that her art pieces for me were beautiful.”
“wow, those are really messy.” mark says looking down at his now glitter covered hands.
you giggle and nod. “you should’ve seen mine earlier— jae-mi and i had to take two showers.”
mark grabs you by the shoulder and slams your back onto his chest, wrapping his heavy arms around your shoulder. “now, what did mommy make for me?”
you laugh and shake your head. “mommy helped your little girl make you these nummy desserts.” you push out of his hold and you grab a cupcake from the tray, peeling away the cupcake liner and taking a big bite into the cupcake.
“mmm,” you moan, chewing and then licking your top lip to get the extra whipped cream. “hm, try it.” you hold the cupcake in front of marks mouth and mark licks his lips, leaning forward and then taking a bigger bite.
“holy shit— mm, that’s so good. oh my god.” mark moans and nods, jumping around while holding his crotch and shaking his head.
you laugh and continue to eat the cupcake until all that’s left is the liner.
“alright, baby. let’s go take a shower, yeah?” you whine and shake your head. “this’ll be my third shower of the day— i’m so tired of taking showers.”
you lean your chin on marks chest and you shut your eyes. mark mocks your whine and places his chin on your head.
“but, i’m stinky, baby. i’m all sticky and sweaty.” you push off mark and he interlaces hands with you. “then shower by yourself.” you say with sass and mark laughs. “but, i wanna shower with you.”
you tsk, “fine. but, you have to carry me to the bathroom. now, hurry, let’s go before i change my mind.”
mark quickly yanks his hands from yours and lifts you off your feet by carrying you bridal style. “mark!” you laugh unstably as mark bounces while running up to the bathroom.
“are you crazy?!” you laugh as mark kicks the bathroom door open and sits you on the counter. “what, you said to hurry up before you changed your mind, no?”
he was right, so you couldn’t be mad.
“just, tsk— start the shower will’ya!” you make an angry face and mark laughs.
mark walks over to the shower and turns on the shower, in an instant, hot water squirts out the shower head.
“get undressed, baby.” mark says, walking over to the closet next to the shower and pulling out clean towels.
“mm, why don’t you undress me yourself?” mark stops in his tracks and looks up at you, trying his best to hide the shy smirk.
you place both hands on either sides of your legs and you smirk. “i said why don’t you undress me yourse—?” you gasp as mark drops the neatly folded towels and jogs over to you, quickly grabbing at your oversized shirt that was honestly his from his side of the closet.
mark tosses the shirt behind him and goes for your loose jamies. he undoes the knot and tugs them off with needy grunts.
“mark,” you giggle while being tossed around on your ass. “don’t forget about yourself, you dummy.” mark nods.
marks pupils grow when seeing your huge breasts— thanks for your pregnancy that bumped you from a C cup to a double D cup.
his hands shake as they go to undo your bra. “geez, when did they get this big.” mark says as the push-up bra releases your mochi like breasts.
“they’ve been growing ever since my third month.” you say with creased eyes and an innocent grin as mark massages them in his hands.
“mark, stop,” you giggle as he tweaks your nipples. “you can do that in the shower but i’m getting cold and i can just feel the hot steam from the shower.”
“alright, alright.” mark frowns as he forces himself to pull away from your breasts and helps you down from the counter.
mark walks with you to the running shower after pulling off your panties and you turn around and you stop him.
“what?” he looks down at you.
“you’re still fully clothed, hunnie.” you point out while softly laughing.
mark looks down and laughs along with you. “i forgot,” he rubs his nape and sighs. “wanna undress me?” you tilt your head and sigh. “you’re a big boy, aren’t you?” you see the disappointment in marks eyes and you laugh even more.
“kidding, i’d love to, markie.” you pat his head when seeing him melt.
you pull up his shirt and you purposely run your hand down his toned abs just to make him flex for you. “you’re a cutie, markie.” you tap the tip of his nose and in a reflex for that, he scrunches his nose up.
you finish off by going on your knees and pulling down his sweats and his boxers all together.
“oh,” your eyes slightly cross when marks semi-hard cock bobs in your face. “markie,” you say in a teasing tone. “is this for me?” mark sticks the tip of his tongue out and scrunches up his face in embarrassment.
“let’s continue in the shower?” you ask and mark quickly nods.
mark helps you up off your knees and follows you into the shower like a lost pup.
you turn and give mark a kiss under the pouring showering which quickly leads to a hot and heated makeout sesh. “m—mark,” you attempt to call for him in the middle of the kiss but mark doesn’t stop, he’s addicted.
you somehow manage to pull away from marks needy kisses and you burst into a fit of laughter when seeing how swollen and red his lips are.
“geez, you needy needy man!” mark touches his lips and suddenly turns all red when feeling the swollen-ness.
“i just— it feels like i haven’t kissed you for so long, y/n.” you laugh, holding his forearms. “we kissed this morning before you went off to schedules.”
“not like that, we didn’t.”
“uh, yes we did. don’t tell me you don’t remember our quickie this morning.” mark takes a moment and then finally it clicks. “oooohhhh, right. dude, i totally forgot, i’m sorry.”
you shake your head while rolling your eyes. “whatever, just hurry up and fuck me.”
mark turns you and bends you perfectly so your hands can grasp the tiled walls. “don’t tell me what to do.” mark spanks you and you cry out.
“don’t be so harsh—!” mark spanks you once more. “i said don’t tell me what to do.” you look back when feeling his tip poke at your entrance.
“then don’t be so harsh— and stop teasing me, will’ya— nghh!” you moan when feeling mark ease into you.
“oh, fuck.” mark says, pinching your hip with one hand and using the other hand to hold himself up from leaning all his weight on you.
“baby,” mark groans. “you feel so good, baby. oh, my god.”
his pulsing cock pushes past your gummy walls and continues that many times. “mark,” your cheek pressed against the tiles and your hands laid flat against the tiles.
“harder, markie.” you grunt, grabbing his wrists from behind and crying out when mark starts ramming into your cunt.
“oh, mark!” you wail, moving yourself up onto your tip-toes.
marks face scrunches in pleasure as he feels you clench around him.
your hand reaches down and you begin to rub your nub that’d cried for attention. “f—fuck, i’m gonna cum soon. i’m s—so close.” you pant, rubbing quick circles on your clit and moaning like a wild animal.
you and mark both let out groans when feeling you squirt, the liquid runs down your hand and down marks cock.
“god— mark, i’m cumming.” you cry out to mark who continues to plow into you. “god, i’m cumming.” you whisper.
your knees wobble and buckle as your orgasm hits you. mark quickly holds under your belly and catches you, making sure he gives nice and slow thrusts while holding you up.
“cum, mark. i wanna feel your cum dripping out of my pussy.” you whisper to mark, slowly recovering from your orgasm.
“you want me to cum in your pussy? your pregnant pussy?” you nod, whining at how much more turned on you got just from hearing mark dirty talk to you.
mark does as you pleaded for and cums into your cunt.
his sloppy thrusts come to a halt and he stays balls deep in your cunt. marks cum dripping past his dick and falling straight on the tiled ground, it washes away from the powerful impact of the hot water being sprayed out the shower head.
“geez— i need to sit down.” you pant when mark pulls out of you— slowly.
mark lowers himself to the floor and sits you on his lap. “i love you, you know that, right?” mark chuckles. “of course i do. y’know that i love you too, right?” you nod tiredly. “to the moon and back?” you nod, again.
silence fills up the bathroom.
“so,” you start. “round two?”
“i’ll meet you in the bedroom in ten.” mark says, pushing you back onto your feet.
you leave the bathroom with a purple towel around you and you wait for mark.
ten minutes was too long and by the time mark was finished with his shower, you were sound asleep on his side of the bed with the towel still wrapped around your body.
#ash talks#nct imagines#nctsplug02#nct scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop smut#anon#nct 127#nct smut#kpop fluff#mark fluff#mark lee#nerdy mark#mark lee smut#mark smut#nct mark#superm mark
754 notes
·
View notes
Note
CRACK FIC, I CHOOSE YOU
So, Adam and reader being at a talking stage where they just meet up to hang out for a bit, somehow got shit face drunk, maybe someone snuck in alcohol for them since they had "debt" to pay off for Adam (Like he did them a favour or smth and he just kept it for the right moment). Lute just finds them giggling and shit, before reader goes quiet as he thought about all the times Adam did something so questionable that he wondered if God was actually in any way active in Heaven. He looked quite distressed at Lute and pointed at Adam before saying: Please... Look at him and tell me if there's a God, right here in Heaven or is he on vacay?
Lute just looking at him like: The fuck? 🫥 And Adam in the back just giggling even more, swaying to the side and leaning on reader's shoulder to proudly, with the biggest grin ever, say: He made me in his own image 😁
Mwah, don't speed with this, take your time writing your masterpieces AND HYDRATE YOURSELF DAMN IT. Love you ❤️
Me stressing out over finishing requests? I'd never (that's a fucking lie) but HERE YA GO CUTIEPIE I hope ya like it, missed ya crack fic requests babes <3 I love you too dear
If God's watching then we're both sinners
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language, sexual tension, sexual implied content (near the end), non-responsible use of alcohol
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
“Sup bitch,” you yelled as you kicked open the door to Adam’s apartment while you also did your best to not drop any alcohol bottles. Adam had some fucking nerves, that was for sure. That dude had called you in the middle of the night and asked you to come over with alcohol. Alcohol, which was considered a drug and strictly forbidden in heaven. But you owed him, so you haven’t had much of a choice.
“Living room,” the first man yelled back at you and you sighed as you kicked the door shut behind you, of fucking course Adam wouldn’t help you carrying the shit. Fucking bastard. So it was up to you. “Some help would be fucking nice,” Adam looked up from his phone, a smirk appeared on his lips the second he laid eyes on you, completely ignoring your demand he commented, “Someone got dolled up for me, huh babes?” You huffed as you put down the bottles one by one, careful not to break the glass. “In your fucking dreams,” you shot back, a mix betweeen annoyance and joy puddled up inside of you as you watched Adam getting up from the couch. Of course that fucking bastard was just wearing a shitty band shirt and fucking boxershorts. Teasing fuckhead. “Oh nah shawty, in my dreams I’m fucking ya,” you were torn between punching him in the face and telling him to pin you down and fuck the living shit out of you. You put the drinks down onto the table as Adam rounded the table to walk up to you. His wing tilted your chin upward, forcing you to look at him, his hair was messy, not the kind of messy they were when he took off his mask but rather a bedhead kind of messy, it suited him. His eyes held kindness in them, kindness for you. Ever since you guys had mentioned upcoming feelings for each other Adam had turned into a fucking tease and you didn’t know if it was because he simply liked how you reacted or if he wanted you to finally ask him out. You had been on a date with him twice, it had always been fun. On the first date he had taken you out to see your favorite band - that cocky bastard had managed to get his sneaky fingers on some pretty rare VIP tickets. On the second date it had been a bit more simple, you had taken him out to get ice cream and then have dinner together. This was apparently your third date - well was it a date? Maybe so.
The softness of his feathers felt smooth against your skin, you liked the feeling of those golden feathers of his, they felt cool yet they kept you warm and cozy. And they came hand in hand with Adam providing physical touch, so it was a win-win thing.
“You brought the good stuff, I see where this is going,” the cocky smile on his lips was met by an amused one of yours, a quiet snort escaped you at his comment, “What? Ya wanna fill me up ‘n’ fuck me?” Adam tapped his chin as if he was actually considering it for a moment - the offer sounded tempting, that the first man had to admit. But he shook his head, “Nah, I’d rather fuck you while you’re sober. That way you’ll remember the handsome face behind that fire feeling dick.” You playfully punched his chest before you turned around to head into the kitchen in order to get shot glasses. Your wings hit him lightly as you did so and you heard him grumble something inaudible, it made you chuckle. Because while you enjoyed flirting with Adam, you also enjoyed having the upper hand from time to time, to let him struggle a little. Playing hard to get was kinda funny, that you had to admit.
-
You had stopped refilling the tiny little glasses a while ago, you watched as Adam took a swig from the bottle he held firmly in his hand, watched in fascination as his adams apple worked when he swallowed the burning liquor. “Fuck you look hot, “ you mumbled as you watched the brunette, he cracked one of his eyes open to look back at you and grinned against the bottle that was pressed against his lips. He gulped the liquor down, lifted the bottle from his mouth and grinned, “Hot enough to fuck your cute ass?” And for the love of God, you couldn’t take this man seriously when you were sober, given that you were wasted, trashed even, you simply started giggling like a maniac, your sitting position shifted into one that would be described as curled up into a ball. You held your tummy as you giggled and giggled, not able to stop. “What’s so funny?” the first man asked, slowly the giggling started to influence him as well even though he had no idea why you were reacting the way you reacted. “Just imagine-” you had to interrupt yourself, the laughter that bubbled from your throat was too strong to hold back.
The door unlocked which caught your attention, the fact that Lute was entering Adam’s apartment only made the situation funnier for you - why you once again didn’t understand. But you weren’t the only one, Adam was also curled up on the floor, giggling like crazy. “Are you two-” she didn't even finish to ask if you guys were okay once she spotted the empty alcohol bottles that were scattered all across Adam’s living room. “We’re fucking fineeee, Lute,” Adam whined between giggles and laughters. Were they, though? She doubted that.
The exorcist noticed how quiet you were all of a sudden and she raised an eyebrow at you when you got up from the floor - it took you three tries to stand up but you made it - and walked over to her. Your hands came to rest on her shoulders and she tilted her head backwards to bring as much space between you and her as physically possible, you strongly smelled like alcohol - the strong kind. “Lute,” you whispered, or well, that’s what you thought, in reality you were speaking quite loud, loud enough for Adam to hear, “Look at him,” you slightly turned away from the lieutenant to point at Adam, in your head you were really subtle about it. Reality was something different, a whole different world. You acted so obviously that even drunk Adam noticed what was going on. He watched you with curious eyes, now that he was the main topic of the conversation between you and Lute. “Look at this bastard and tell me there’s a God, right here,” you pointed to the floor, “In heaven. With us,” you looked back at Adam, who was desperately trying to get up but kept falling onto his ass until he finally managed to stand up, he was swaying from side to side as he walked over to you and Lute, “Or is the big G on vacay?”
Lute just looked at you in confusion, your question was so stupid yet so justified, even she wasn’t able to answer it, because while she would never say it with Adam in the room, the first man sure knew how to make questionable decisions.
Adam wrapped his arms around your shoulder, pulling you flush against his side as he looked down at you with a proud smirk on his face and spoke, “He made me in his own image.” Your eyes locked onto his and a cocky little smirk found its way on your lips as you responded, “Well, God’s image is fucking hot, then.” Lute simply decided it was best to ignore you two - you had been flirting with each other for so long, way before you had reached the ‘talking stage’ - as you called it. And she was getting tired of it. She picked up the empty bottles and carried them into the kitchen to throw them away, she didn’t need one - or even both of you - getting hurt because of some broken glass.
When she exited the kitchen to continue to clean up after your drunk asses and send you to bed afterwards, she was quite surprised to find you two kissing - well if you could call it that, to her it looked more like Adam was trying to shove his tongue down your throat as deeply as physically possible, yet you seemed to enjoy it. She pulled out her phone, took a quick picture and then separated the both of you just to guide you both into Adam’s bedroom, “And do me a favor, if you fuck, do it quietly.” Then she left the room and locked the door behind her.
It only took you a couple seconds before you pushed Adam down onto his bed and climbed into his lap to continue the interrupted makeout session.
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Aight here’s a few of my favorite SP fics that no one asked for
I’m generally more of a one shot kinda lad but since getting into South Park I’ve read SO MANY GREAT longer ones so here’s just some highlights: (all on ao3)
Ship In A Bottle FayOfTheForest. One of the first sp AU’s I read, we got PIRATES. HOMOEROTIC SWORD FIGHTING. WLW CREEK. SLOW BURN STYLE. (Injured stan my beloved) KENNY. BUNNY. The parents SUCK. Literally such a kickass story!
This House of Mine by OrcaTimes. VIOLENCE. GANG ACTIVITY. CREEK. I really love the characterization of everyone in this fic, especially Craig. Seriously man. Also THE K2 IN THIS SLAYS (we got some PRIME Kyle injury too god I love him) THE ENDING IS SO SATISFYING TOO!!!
Peppermint by boxwinebaddie. Bro. Literally my all time favorite style fic. I’m so serious. The writing and story are BEAUTIFUL LIKE SO FUCKING AMAZING The PINING. THE HEADCANONS. I COULD GO ON FOR HOURS. Pls if you check out any of my Recs READ THIS ONE.
Maybe For Real This Time & The Kids Are Alright by WeirdBBQDad. Dude. I have no words other than KENNY FUCKIN MCCORMICK. Also Style. Also families. Just- just check it out.
Hang ‘Em High by littledeathsinmusicalbeds. Cowboy au. Creek. Established Style. Bounty hunter Kenny. Massive slay.
The Thief Trilogy by wintergrew. WHEN I SAY IT LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE. The world building is PHENOMENAL literally my favorite SOT AU OF ALL. Long as hell, but SO worth the read holy fuck. I adore Stick Of Truth.
You’re The Prettiest Boy I’ve Ever Seen by burnt_pancakes. CREEK. STYLE. MISCOMMUNICATION. BUNNY. KENNY IN GENERAL. the friendships in this are PERFECT.
Your name written upon mine by sooduhnim. SOT STYLE. Soulmate au that’s INCREDIBLE seriously I love this one and can’t wait for an update.
How We Began by PastorCraigEnjoyer. Ok yes I’m cringy as shit for the self promo but this is my favorite long fic that I’ve written. Slow burn SOT STYLE, no war just fantasy gays falling in love, injury, sickfic, all my favorite bullshit and I loved writing it ok.
N1SM by kiritila. A classic in the fandom. Style. A masterpiece.
Between the Sinners and the Saints by KaiterTot. Oh. My. God. When I say this one altered my brain chemistry… THE ENDING DUDE HOLY-
A Few Last Wolves by Jwink85. Yes, I am a resident of the State Of Style by way of Creek Nation but this is Cryle. And it’s a slay. If y’all liked Frank and Bills episode in TLOU, it’s kind of an au of that. It works man.
Winter Butterfly ALSO by Jwink85 and ALSO Cryle. What can I say it’s incredible. The Style in the beginning is CUTE until shit hits the fan, too, and I thought this fic was a really interesting take on all the characters and relationships. I adore Tweek in this one too.
Something Sweet Like Honey by bluebryy. Ok this one is unsettling and creepy Craig makes me feel icky but I cannot WAIT for an update on that fic, I got my fingers crossed for Style endgame. Also CHECK OUT THEIR ART ON HERE they converted me to a short king Kyle truther and it’s a slay tbh.
Ladies and Gentleman We Are Floating In Space by gremlinteeth. A classic. The first sp multi chapter I read. THE LORE BRO. CREEK. STYLE. STANS CHARACTERIZATION GOES SO HARD HES MY BOIIIII
Ok. That’s all my recs for now. Sry for being insane.
#fandom#south park#style#fanfiction#creek#au#stick of truth#ao3 fanfic#sp bunny#south park kenjorine#fic rec#i’m insane#sp fic#cryle#recommendations#south park k2
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
SPOILERS FOR THE LEAKED EPISODE AHEAD.
The bad:
They didn't...ruin Fizz and Ozzie, per se. They're very cute. In fact, they're almost too cute. Fizz and Ozzie were loveable because they were a little rough around the edges, a couple of horny assholes, yet extremely tender and supportive. Here, they're so tooth-rottingly saccharine they make Moxxie and Millie look low-key. It's a lot better than the alternative, but oof...
Blitzo and Fizz's entire history is recounted in an incredibly brief flashback that feels last second and tacked on. It's the kind of thing that could have had an entire episode devoted to it.
No, seriously, you want to know how short it is? I was able to take a deep breath when Fizz's flashback started and hold it until Blitzo's ended, that's how little Vivzie cared about this.
Fizz gets a song. It's not good.
Striker and Crimson are in it. It's as bad as you think. This is Team Rocket levels of nonsense.
The dick jokes, oh my god, the fucking dick jokes. They never end. There's one that goes on forever.
Stolas's behavior gets another vigorous scrubdown. Blitzo talks about how Stolas always asks how his day was and laughs at his jokes and how this is clearly an act, and the idea is that Blitzo is too jaded to see how much Stolas loves him, but that's a pack of yellow-brown bullshit. Stolas spent an entire season treating Blitzo like a sex toy and Blitzo had a goddamn good reason to feel the way he did, and to call Stolas on it.
It's all so unbearably childish. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but this is seriously a Wattpad fic's idea of how love and relationships work and it's frustrating to see it treated like a masterpiece of queer animation. We already have masterpieces of queer animation and this isn't that.
Take away the fruits of Vivzie's underpaid animators' labor and the awfulness of everything else is impossible to ignore.
Vivziepop still hates trans men.
The good:
Stolas's little "I love words!" got a chuckle out of me.
One time a dude reblogged one of my Fizzmodeus posts and made a "Clearly you didn't listen to the song" poot face at me so that's funny I guess.
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
JEON JUNGKOOK FIC-RECS:- Series List (1)
Hello, wonderful people. So I'm finally here after a pretty long time, what more can I say, I've been so busy with my academics and all. It sucks to be a high schooler. So basically after seeing BTS updating their MBTI types, I thought maybe I should take the test again and IT TURNS OUT TO ISFP-T!!! AND AM I NOT SURPRISED TO SEE THE SIMILARITIES? I would suggest y'all to take the MBTI TEST on truity.com as well. You can message me about your personality types as well, as I would definitely love to get to know y'all better.
NOW getting to the point. I bring you all a fic-recs list featuring none other our golden mak-nae, and my bias wrecker, Jeon Jungkook.
Again, I would like to inform you that none of these wonderful masterpieces involve my underwhelming talent of writing and imagination, they solely belong to their respective owners, who've put their everything into these work of fiction to make them so beautiful and memorable. I'm merely an admirer, a fan, a dreamer who loves to indulge in the world of fantasy for an escape from reality. I would highly recommend you all, to go through their master-lists and give them your love and support. Happy reading!!!
WARNING:-
MOST OF THESE ONE-SHOTS WILL BE 18+ (mentions of any mental unrest, mentions of any death, blasphemy, infidelity, mentions of blood, and explicit smut)- MINORS SHOULD STRICTLY NOT INTERACT.
LEGENDS:-
a - angst ; f - fluff ; m - mature ; s - supernatural ; d - drama ; h - humor
From Home (m) by @gyukult (a, f, s, h) [rich-kid, fake dating]
Jeon Jung-kook knows that he's rich as fuck. and oh god, he knows EVERYTHING about his typical spoilt ways of showing it off. But when his loving mother decides to kick him out of their estate, to make him more responsible and self-dependent, he is determined. To earn his position back. Thanks to you, child prodigy, who might make his plans easier.
I have had my pleasure of that very old concept o rich-falling-for-poor-and-family-backlashes. But the concept of THIS VERY FIC, oh lord, has astounded me to the core. The comic timing, the intriguing differences between the characters' family background, the phantom expectations and the bitter realities. A must read!!!!
After Midnight (m) by @gyukult (a, f, h, d) [casual relationship]
After the announcement of your little sister tying knot with the love of her life, you realize that it's high time for you to break ties with your fuckbuddy Jungkook, and finally get settled down with someone more of a husband material guy. But it's unfair for Jungkook for two reasons: one, you're a doctor, and two, will he ever find a pussy that bomb?
Dude, no review will ever be able to describe how PERFECT this fic is. I've never ever seen such a perfect fuckboy characterization written for Jungkook. He's perfectly sweet, stupid, sexy and dude, his comic timing just when the OC's practicality begins to empower him, oh lord. My favorite. Period.
Animal (m) by @cutaepatootie (a, f, d) [boxer, hate-to-love]
Lying on a hospital bed in his 60s, Jungkook recounts his past life. The one where his ruthlessness, his recklessness, his rudeness, every negative aspect of his life, was brightened with the solitary feeling of love. The love, which he had for you.
If I ever try to write a single word about this fic in its appreciation, I just end up crying a flood of tears. Be ready to have a box of tissue beside you before reading this masterpiece. A touching tale of love, hate and grief. A must read.
Let Me Stay Close To You by @9uk (a, d) [bullying, college-life]
When your high-school bully Jungkook re-enters your life as your college mate AND your partner for project, you cannot help but fear his intentions. But for Jungkook, it's all different. A drastic difference that makes his heart pace faster than the light's speed.
This fic is the far-most gut wrenching story portraying Jungkook in a not-so-typical setting and shade. Even though the ending of the fic somewhat falls out and becomes exhausting, it is still virtuous in its glory. A good take with a new perspective.
Knife's Edge (m) by @readyplayerhobi (a, f, d) [mafia, infidelity] ft. Jimin
Ever since your scarred childhood, you have known about your marriage with Jungkook in future, with you leading a life in a hellhole forever. And you're alright since you've got Jungkook beside you. But one night, everything changes when you end up laying your eyes upon Jimin, who promises comfort and love upon his arrival.
I know. Jimin is my bias, I should be rooting for him but oh lord, the mafia!jungkook takes it all for me to fuck the shit outta OC for going astray, dude. I'm speechless, so no words. Just dive right in!!
Falling Skies (m) by @fortunexkookie (a, f, d) [childhood friends]
The art of permanence isn't your cup of tea; despite that, your best friend, Ji-yeon and her twin brother, Jungkook, are irreplaceable to you. Ji-yeon, garnering all your love and Jungkook, garnering all your annoyance. You cannot endure Jungkook, that's for sure. But one unexpected catastrophe it takes, for you to realize what Jungkook is to you in a true sense.
The twin thing concept was very new to me, and reading this fic reminded of Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, both focusing on loss, emptiness, love, coping and the following hardships. One of the best fics I've read. A must read.
I hate you, I love you (m) by @jungblue (a, f, d) [best friends]
You have been through every phase and feeling of your life with Jungkook: enemies, friends and best friend forever. Too bad, and too late, you ended up catching feelings for him when he had already committed himself to someone who's not you.
Cute, Sexy, Lovely. GO AND READ THIS ASAP!!!
Innocence (m) by @monoguk (a, h, f) [one sided love, fuckboy]
For you, the concept of sex is flabbergasting but for Jungkook, that is the only thing his world revolves about. But once he falls for you innocence, nothing even as impeccable as sex can enamor him anymore.
It's not completed yet but dude, have not fallen in love with the simple and cute dynamics of it? A must read!!!!
True Care (m) by @joonsgalaxy (a, h, d, f) [bodyguard, family issues]
Your new bodyguard, Jungkook is no way similar to your father's bodyguard. He's young, cute (did I say hot?) and shy. Two of you together navigate through the hardships of each other's life and create a bond, safeguarding each other from one inevitable thing: love.
Oh lord, this one fic stays in my heart forever. The accurate representation of the very Jungkook we know. How delightful! Moreover, I just loved the way the OC was written: bold, practical and sensitive. Just dive right in!!
The Brothel (m) by @plumblackjeon (a, d) [unrequited love, rich kid]
In the eyes of society, Jeon Jungkook is a typical rich brat, spending his nights in brothels, getting wasted. But when you find him intoxicated in the corridor of your apartment, you can't help but find his true self, even if that means wandering into the brothel.
I don't know if this fic was supposed to be a one shot, but it snapped something in me. I've never felt so gut-wrenched after reading a fic. It made me rethink a lot about my opinions and ideas about the nightlife. It also gave me glimpses of After Dark by Haruki Murakami and reminded me of a song named lovememore. by dosii.
Astonishing and dark, a must read.
So that is it guys. Do let me know about your own opinions about these fics or any other fics that you want to recommend me. Happy Reading!!!
#bts#bts masterlist#jungkook#jungkook masterlist#smut#fluf#jungkook bangtan bomb#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#bts oneshot#jungkook oneshot#jungkook au#bts au#bts x reader#bts imagine#jeon jungkook#jimin angst#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x reader#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jjk x y/n#Spotify
654 notes
·
View notes
Note
does ravenstan have his tooth gap filled?!? he better not but i feel like kyle woulda totally noticed by now! ahhh and whats up with chapter 6 D: it was an absolute masterpiece to me!
unfortunately...that's affirmative, darling. :(
when you are a big hotshot celebrity boy and everyone is looking at you, you cannot afford ( ironically ) to have fucked up teeth, so he did have his tooth filled in. or rather, management had his tooth filled in.
& technically, he also is *Supposed* to wear an invisalign at night, but ravenstan forgets the lyrics to his own songs ( granted the recent ones C.D. has released haven't been written by him at all :/ -- that's why they're all shallow, vapid and gimmicky ) so idk how they expect him to remember to put that hunk of Plastic in his mouth like...like the closest thing that man has to mouthwash is a shot of jack smh.
i wrote...way too much in this ask meme. this was a wild ride, i'm sorry for being unhinged. i spiraled halfway through this, lmao. <3
edit: i forgot to bring up chapter six. i will bring it back, mayhaps. i had a Stannic Attack after posting it, also, felt weird about it. but i am glad you liked it. i also...liked it? but it was stressing me out, so just hang in there and i'll try to give you a more in depth answer later xx.
but riiiiip stan's beautiful chipped tooth!!!!! :((( a testament to his love for kyle broflovski via pint-sized homoerotic hockey puck heroism at stark's pond </333 i bet you when raven was getting his tooth fixed, somewhere in nyc, jersey kyle felt a sudden, sharp sting of pain and sorrow he couldn't place. the second he finds out u better believe my man will be screaming, crying, punching the air, trying to fight every dentist in the world. THAT WAS HIS TOOTH. HIS STANS TOOTH!!! :(
management....count your fucking days.
( i kind of want to tell you guys what the record labels name is, but it might say too much but also...;)))) i'll take a compliment bribe >.> )
also because it was RavenStan...it was probably pretty much the best orthodontist they could find and it looks really good. tbh i don't think you would be able to tell that his tooth was fucked up at all...sigh. :/
really, the only evidence of stan's tooth being fucked up is from photo albums ( a lot of them got burnt up ), the polaroids that kyle has, the pictures of him in the sp yearbooks ( which were the ones ran in the papers and one online article when news broke that he died...with his fucking dead name printed under them...choke and die, south park )
speaking of school pictures, fun fact! or actually not that fun...sixth grade was stan's last year of school. physically, at least. he had to do school from home/online because for obvious reasons, stan could not risk going to actual irl school after he disappeared. he was told it was 'way too risky and dangerous, bird' ( the person taking care of him called him that as a nickname c: )...stan did literally Beg tho :(
which is actually really sad bc stan complained abt actual school sm when he was actually allowed to go when he was 'alive' and then was forced to watch every other kid be able to do actual hs stuff while he sat at home, safe, robbed of having a normal adolescence. im so </3
i fucking love act two of the rm!prequel. i want to talk about it more, but it features a lot of stuff we don't know abt it yet/important chars.
not like that's gonna stop me, lmaoooo!!! again! i'll take a bribe! ;))))
anyways!!! back to school and stuff, kenny was constantly like dude i wish i could stay home!!! school sux! and stan was like at least u can GO to school, ken! u just choose not to!!! >:c ( like stan...stfu, do not pretend like u wouldn't be asleep or ditching ) kenny DID sneak him out a lot to go to high school parties and he got into a looooot of trouble for doing that oh my god smh. worth it...my boys, my boys.
not a lot of pictures of him from act two either, i'm afraid. definitely nothing digital. there are physical pictures, home videos, things like that. he wasn't really allowed to have any social media At All 4 safety.
but uh....if you want to hear something really fruity and pathetic...stan was specifically not supposed to use the internet to snoop on kyle. like he was Specifically Banned and Strictly Forbidden from looking up shit about kyle broflovski which...BOOOOO!!! COME ON!!!!!
...that did not stop him tho. he made a looooot of burner accounts to snoop. but like...no such luck, really. kyle had like no social media. he had an instagram, i think. but it was private and had...1 picture on it.
do u know how actualy Nutso Fucking Batshit Insane it made stan to not know what that ONE picture looked like? do you know how many times, he downloaded/redownloaded insta, how many fake accounts he tried to make to try and trick kyle into following him? smh gaywad.
so, dw team! while kyle was in/out of psych wards bc he was seeing stan everywhere, stan was perpetually grounded for being gay aka google searching kyle and looking pretty much everywhere for him.
but speaking of the internet, the cd boys did run a joint meme account while they were living together. no pictures of them just...low quality meme content. BUT SPEAKING!!!!! of low quality. THE ONLY DAMNING EVIDENCE OF TOOTH!STAN!!!! is a super old battle of the bands video that was taken of them at some piece of shit event like 3...4 years ago? the camera quality is really bad and shaky, the sound quality is even worse. also that video has like 57 views TOPS but it was before they got scouted and stans tooth is fucked up in it. ;)
not that u can see it, lmao. or know how to find it because they were not crimson dawn until they got signed. in LA they cycled between a lot of really bad, cringey band names so it would be really difficult to locate that video or pause it in the right place to like barely make out stans tooth bc the light was catching on it sm/it was out of focus.
BUT IDK!!! IF ANYONE IS CRAZY AND UNHINGED ENOUGH TO FIND THAT VIDEO, ITS KYLE BROFLOVSKI, BABEY! GO KYLE GO!
tldr: stan's tooth did get filled in and now our hearts are empty. but it Would be too easy to identify him; kyle would know that tiny fucked up tooth anywhere. tbh the tiny stan right eye beauty mark is also v damning, but stans hair is always in his eyes/his eyeliner is always so badly smudged that you can't see it all the time ( kyle also purposely tries Not to look at raven bc hes dummy Hot and doesnt want to admit it lmao like hes subconciously aware that he would simp lmao )
YOU ALSO REALLY CANT BE LIKE THAT CELEBRITY MAN ALSO HAS A BEAUTY MARK BY HIS EYE, THATS MY DEAD SBF!!!! i would not put it past kyle to try that, but i think regardless he would have gaslight himself into thinking that ravens stan beauty mark was an ugly mark and that he was having clozapine hallucinations again because stan....is....dead and is clearly not raven of c.d. clear...ly. <3
the way that kyles 'psychosis' is just him having really good intuition.
the world owes kyle broflovski an apology, istg. i see you, baby!!!!!
-uncle nina, cassandra complex kyle matthew broflovski apologist
#i talked abt stuff i wasnt supposed to again#what else is new guys#i hope this was thrilling tho i love talking abt the lore#words cnanot describe how much i want to talk abt act 2 and 3 stan before stan was cd raven#also ik that his life sounds kinda bad in 2 bc he was like stan banned from doing like everything#but he was actually...very well loved and taken care of#the person that took care of stan really loved stan a lot and was really just trying to protect him#theyre my favorite rm side char i always say that but i actually mean it they are my favorite one#anyways i tlaked too much but yall needed to know how down horrendous stan was when he was dead#he was googling kyle so much that he like actually got in trouble for it he was like NOT supposed to do that#and all im gonna say abt the tooth thing and kyle knowing#is that u can fix stans tooth and cover up his beauty mark#you can put him in the little pants and make him walk w confidence and teach him how to be cool n sexy#but all u really gotta do is put on terrance and phillip and listen to stan laugh uncontrollably for an entire thirty minutes#eyes emoji#anyways!#bring back stans fucked up tooth!!!#honestly he did get close someone did throw like a cellphone at him on stage once so they could get a selfie#he matrix dodged it it was very cool but we were robbed
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh god. okay so i just finished ifylita and i have so many thoughts!! i literaly just binge watched half of the series today (home office be like) so everything is mushy and i forgot like half of the things i wanted to write about but who cares!
so. it was so GOOD! like... so so so good. im speechless. all the characters had their depth and purpose and i want to wrap them all in a soft blanket and never let go (not you robert you can rot in hell). ming?? you mean the bestest man ever? his character was just so perfect and the actor's performance was on another level. just. perfect. the friendship between ueangphueng and fongkaew was so much needed. like they could make enemies out of them and make fongkaew the evil bitch but they didn't! they made two really strong characters out of them and im here for it (also very pretty character. like i want their wardrobe. please and thank you). they also could do the same with busabong and im glad they just let her go to find her own way after the engagement fiasco. robert actually rotting in jail was unexpected. the whole scene was priceless. the drama? the spice? hell yeah. and the last episode? fuck it all. the feels!! i was not ready. the scene with all of their memories, accompanied by the sound of them fucking in the background, followed by a cut to yai crying was a cinematic masterpiece. let them enjoy their postcoital bliss for fuck sake!! the jump to the present? painful. jom and jeed's annoying siblings energy? priceless. i need more of them. (and jeed having crush on her best friend, suffering because she doesn't want to be a homewrecker). and the end. to be fair, i would have more questions before i would be exchanging saliva with a dude that looks like another dude i fell love with in the past who i know is already dead...like...at least ONE question. but i mean...whatever floats your boat jom. and then the other end. jom's outfit was the same as in the scene in the house righ? or it was just really similar? or was it a coincidence? or do he really got yeeted into another era the DAY he met yai's present self?? so many questions i could probably get an answers to if i got my hands on the novel but yeah.
anyway. im in love. im here, waiting patiently for season two!
#i actually fnished a tv show#be proud yall#i feel you linger in the air#i feel you linger in the air the series#ifylita#now its pit babe time which does not make me feel better#but ill do it for pavel
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
homestuck penis ouija: tntduo edition
QUACKITY: Ok8y, look, it’s perfectly simple.
KAHRRL: oh NO you ARE not DRAWING another SHIPPING grid DUDE
QUACKITY: No no no, it’s not 8 grid, just 8 schedule.
KAHRRL: look WE’VE already ESTABLISHED that YOU’RE going TO end UP flushed FOR everyone JUST deal WITH it
QUACKITY: No no no I’m gonna m8ke this WORK
WILBUR: No, that’s a grid. You’re drawing a god damn grid. This is a shipping grid.
QUACKITY: Ok8y LOOK HERE
QUACKITY: These 8re the d8ys of the week. We e8ch h8ve rows for those d8ys 8nd we c8n dr8w 8 he8rt, sp8de, or di8mond for 8ny given d8y.
QUACKITY: M8ybe even 8 club since K8hrrl 8nd I 8re in the m8rket for 8 new 8uspictice
KAHRRL: OH my GOD
QUACKITY: Th8t w8y, we know wh8t’s up in 8dv8nce 8nd c8n 8void 8ny possible conflicts.
WILBUR: Put the fucking pen down.
QUACKITY: Hey, cut it out! Don’t touch me!
WILBUR: Do not draw a shipping grid, do NOT do it.
QUACKITY: It’s not 8 shipping grid, you bulge ch8fing fuck8ss!
WILBUR: You are not drawing a shipping grid to organize our fucking dating lives.
WILBUR: That is— that is some bullshit, man.
WILBUR: Absolute bullshit, I will not stand for it
QUACKITY: This is not 8 shipping grid, this is 8 schedule to org8nize our qu8dr8nts! It’s 8 useful tool!
WILBUR: You’re not drawing anything that even REMOTELY resembles a grid.
WILBUR: Do not draw an arrangement of squares or otherwise interlocking polygons
QUACKITY: LET GO!!!!!!!!
KAHRRL: oh MY god
WILBUR: You will not draw a spreadsheet for the purpose of allocating mine and Kahrrl’s time spent with a potential mutual boyfriend.
WILBUR: That is exactly the shit I do not want to see
QUACKITY: Oh look, I just drew 8 squ8re! Get re8dy to see 8 lot more of those!
WILBUR: No stop
WILBUR: Do not draw any more squares I swear to god!
WILBUR: Do not draw any quadrilaterals or trapezoids or rectangles or fucking n-drangles and especially as fuck not any god damned RHOMBUSES
WILBUR: I don’t want to see your lines making ANY right angles, do you understand?
QUACKITY: Oh look 8nother squ8re! 8 bit wobbly but it’ll do.
WILBUR: That is the perfect example of what you should NOT be drawing.
QUACKITY: W8 here it comes! My first “ship” going into the squ8re!
WILBUR: Put the fucking pen down!
QUACKITY: OW! Wh8t is your problem?
WILBUR: Does Sapnap know you’re doing this?
QUACKITY: He will!
WILBUR: How presumptuous of you to think he might be okay with being tossed into your bullshit shipping grid just because you decided to be “normal human boyfriends” now
QUACKITY: Well I h8ven’t put his n8me on the grid yet, h8ve I?
WILBUR: I am absolutely stunned that he understands human romance better than you do. Put the pen down, you’re messing up Ranboo’s book.
QUACKITY: No!
WILBUR: Do it
QUACKITY: You suck!
WILBUR: I haven’t sucked a single thing in my life what are you on about
QUACKITY: You smell!
WILBUR: Don’t talk to me about rank smells when you smell like a— like a fucking barn!
WILBUR: Yeah, I said it!
QUACKITY: My lusus dr8gged in things th8t smelled better th8n you!
QUACKITY: 8nd everything he brought home w8s either 8 de8d 8nim8l or liter8l feces!
WILBUR: Yeah well that’s dumb and stupid just like you now gimme the pen
QUACKITY: No, it’s mine now. I’m keeping it.
WILBUR: Quackity! Whoa, man what are you doing?
WILBUR: Why are you drawing all these human dicks?
WILBUR: How do you even know what they look like? What have you been watching??
QUACKITY: I 8M NOT DR8WING THOSE! YOU’RE M8KING ME DR8W THEM, STOP TH8T!!!!!!!!
WILBUR: No way, this book is now like…
WILBUR: Our fight fueled ouija board of cock
QUACKITY: 88888888RGH STOP!
QUACKITY: DON'T
QUACKITY: NO FUCK
QUACKITY: OK NO
QUACKITY: YOU DREW TH8T ONE
QUACKITY: YOU DREW TH8T ONE!!!! DON'T PRETEND YOU DIDN'T!
WILBUR: Are you sure man?
WILBUR: See, that’s the spooky thing about penis ouija. You can never be sure who did the dicks.
WILBUR: Was it you or me or maybe a ghoooost???
QUACKITY: GIVE ME B8CK THE PEN!
WILBUR: What? No, this is a fucking masterpiece.
WILBUR: We have to see this through.
WILBUR: We’re running out of room. Hey Kahrrl, can you turn the page for us?
QUACKITY: 88888888HHHHHH!!!!!!!!
QUACKITY: This 8lterc8ion is becoming uncomfort8bly physic8l, get the FUCK 8w8y from me!!!!!!!!
WILBUR: What the hell are you talking about?
QUACKITY: You know EX8CTLY wh8t I’m t8lking 8bout!!!!!!!!
WILBUR: Oh, shut up and draw another penis.
QUACKITY: You don’t even underst8nd the soci8l implic8ions of 8ll this hostile touching 8nd gr8bbing, do you?
QUACKITY: THIS IS SO CLE8RLY C8LIGINOUS SOOT, JUST 8CKNOWLEDGE IT!!!!!!!!
WILBUR: Well, if you want to look at it that way, then be my guest.
WILBUR: This is a common human ritual, don’t you know? It means we literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about each other. I don’t care about what you think is happening here.
QUACKITY: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
WILBUR: Stop biting my jacket.
QUACKITY: FUFCK NYOUF.
WILBUR: We’ve really made a masterpiece here today, Quackity. You should be proud of yourself
QUACKITY: OK8Y, TH8T’S IT. I’M FUCKING SICK OF THIS!
WILBUR: What?
WILBUR: WHOA SHIT
QUACKITY: His Honour8ble Tyr8nny h8s sentenced you to life in j8cket prison.
WILBUR: HNFNGMGNHNFN
WILBUR: KAHRRL HELP
KAHRRL: SORRY man IM not MEDIATING this F*CKING trash FIRE youre ON your OWN
#dream smp#dsmp#homestuck#tntduo#dreamstuck#<- might as well make a tag for this if i’m gonna keep posting panel edits
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
V9C6
Pro tip: never let someone who doesn’t understand the RP in RPG run a DnD campaign
Post Ep: quite possibly the best episode of the season so far. Things actually happened for once, and it was all character focused. By V9 standards this is an absolute masterpiece
Hey the OP changed to show Jaune’s ugly ass breaking the 4th wall. Don’t care about your sad face dude
Oh goddammit not this 1st POV shit again. I get doing it for Ruby bc yknow. Main character. Show’s named after her and everything. Jaune? Not so much
So we don’t even get an indication of when Jaune originally showed up? Where even is he?
Ah yes, let’s just skip right past the trauma of someone waiting literally decades for people he knows are coming but not when to have some silly whoosh sound effects and bullet fast questions
One thing I will say is I much prefer this voice to his usual. It’s far more natural and far less grating on my soul
WHY ARE THEY MAKING WEISS LIKE THIS. WHO IS THIS BITCH AND WHERE IS THE REAL WEISS
Like, if she’d shown any interest in an older man before this then, fine, Weiss would be into older men, but this is coming from literally fucking nowhere and feels like, yet again, the writers are catering to themselves via their pet rather than thinking about what the characters would actually do
“We got everybody out” think you’re missing a few dozen folks. Yknow. The ones who Cinder exploded off the bridge? Even if the explosion killed all of them, which is statistically unlikely, there would still be bodies somewhere. Thanks to the timey whimey fuckery, we could see them falling from the sky at any time, which would be gruesome as fuck but a very poignant moment of failure for them all
Aaaaaand once again the team’s attempts to have a proper fucking discussion about their past actions and the subsequent consequences interrupted. By fucking Jaune. Goddammit
“What cat?” Does Jaune not know the story or is he attempting to clarify it’s Curious instead of some other resident? Also, damn that was actually a good bit of voice acting. Is this Luna or is someone else playing Elder Banana Boy?
The framing of Curious Cat under clear skies to Jaune under dark clouds is really fucking good. Wonder if the protruding jackalope antlers means something or if it’s just too big to leave out of frame
“This place really is the pits” I’m not entirely sure this is something Weiss would say, but punderful crossroads ig
So the tree is the source of the Againing? I feel it’d be more impactful if residents went to the tree willingly, like a sacred pilgrimage, rather than being dropped through a hole
Though this does present an interesting choice for Ruby: go to the tree and become someone new or continue with the choices and responsibilities. It must be incredibly tempting
“[Yang and Blake] must’ve had something bigger to work out.” Shut the fuck up their romance isn’t even tied to any character arcs or thematic problems; they’ve just been circling each other for fucking seasons while ignoring everything and everyone else. This is NOT bigger than what’s already at hand
Ah yes, the perfect solution to force a romantic confession: dangling people on a rickety bridge in high winds. Guess that brings a new meaning to “falling for you”
“So, what, Alyx lied?” Damn sure would be nice to know the actual story so we can feel the same betrayal the characters do
God can I just skip over the high rise bumblebee moments? I’m cringing so hard my intestines are straightening out. Also is it just me or is the animation around these parts really strange? I can’t put my finger on it but it’s wigging me out
Not entirely sure how I’m feeling about this Alyx reveal. Would it really have been so wrong for an innocent, naive girl in strange and overwhelming circumstances to make terrible mistakes? Wouldn’t that be far more relevant to Ruby’s own journey, especially if Alyx never learned to take responsibility? Especially if one of those mistakes cost her a brother she never spoke of again, perhaps eventually even forgot due to the guilt?
Idk this kinda feels like another complicated, morally grey situation being boiled down to “bad person hurt good person so we hate the bad person." Also, not great that she and the dead bro are the only ones darker than milk this season. Gr8 representation rt
“You have cat ears!” ...why are we alive? Just to suffer? I swear this volume has made more of a fuss about Blake’s status as a “non-human” than all other volumes combined. SHE IS JUST A HUMAN WITH CAT EARS I’M GOING TO EAT A FUCKING FRIDGE
“Maybe it’s saying things we’ve never said to each other.” Damn y’all haven’t really done any talking about anything so if that’s the rule y’all could reach the platform by straight up talking about the weather or books and videogames
Also this forced confession feels really icky. They’re basically hostages to the environment. It’s not cute that the confession is coming out of this situation, it’s fucking appalling. Especially when you consider how much better and more natural it would’ve been in V6 or V7. Hell, I’d take a wildly out of place kiss in V8 rather than this
I think Blake should’ve been the one to say it first. She’s the one with the running away problem, so her being the one to step up and face her fears in such a personal manner would be far better for her character arc than urging Yang to take the leap instead
“You never give up on people, even when they hurt you.” Adam Taurus and every White Fang member she’s killed is calling bullshit. Blake never tried reaching out to any of these people and clearly had no problem slicing and dicing them for the sake of humans who give zero shits about faunus rights
“You never give up” I think her retreat in V4 counts as giving up, Yang, but you wouldn’t know that because you’ve NEVER FUCKING TALKED
Huzzah, a kiss! Now, how about a proper, healthy relationship?
So Curious knew the story all along? Which means we didn’t have to suffer that obnoxious, self-righteous snore of a “love letter to the fandom” because it was required for the plot. We suffered it because the writers wanted us to suffer. Thanks I hate it
I really like the checkers going dull when Curious gets sad. They’re genuinely the best part of this volume, followed only by that gorgeous mushroom forest. I just wish their colors were better. There’s a difference between bright and eyestrain, and they very much are the latter
“You used me in the same way I’ve only seen [indecipherable] for knowledge and entertainment.” Firstly, can I get some goddamn captions please my family is starving. Secondly, go get em baby I got yo flower
Damn did they rip that house straight from the ps2? What the fuck
Ah, bathos. Possibly the worst literary crime possible. Why would we ever ruminate on the fact that Ruby and co. have been using people and making lives worse everywhere they go when we can watch Blake and Yang suck face?
Also, I’m fairly certain that, out of the two of them, Yang would be the one to pop a leg
“I think Alyx traded [Louis] to the tree [in order to leave]” Is that what Ruby’s gonna propose? Being traded so everyone else can go home? Doubt the tree will allow such an uneven trade to begin with, but, once again, a tempting idea
Why is Ruby having an episode over Cresent Rose’s return? Is it the reminder of what happened at the V8 crossroads? The responsibility it represents? The identity she no longer has?
This would be easier to understand if we had any build up. If the return of her weapon is going to be this heavy, then the loss of it at the beginning should have made a serious impact. But it didn’t. She didn’t even look for it. Never once talked about it. Outside of fights, Cresent Rose’s absence has been completely ignored
And why is no one seeing her very clear and obvious distress yet AGAIN? WBY cheer when she gets it back, but it makes them seem ignorant to the point of callousness. Par for the course this volume, but the longer it goes on, the less I actually care about any of this
If her supposed friends, including the overprotective sister who apparently raised her, don’t notice Ruby waving more red flags than Sayaka Miki, then why should I be bothered whenever it’s happening? If the story keeps dragging her symptoms out episode after episode, cutting the scene any time it feels like we’re about to get somewhere, then why should I invest any energy into it? If the story doesn’t care, why should I?
Luna is, indeed, still the voice of Jaune. Great improvement, boyo, keep this voice for him forever
#rwde#so when is jaune gonna talk abt penny#whens he gonna admit he stabbed her in the heart#hows he going to say it now that hes had decades to come to terms w it but for them penny was alive like. yesterday#or even this morning#thats what im waiting for. thats the shit i wanna see#bc i think thats gonna be the thing that makes ruby break#i wanna see her shatter then figure out what to do w the pieces#im genuinely sad abt Curious tho#i like the little guy despite him being an eyesore#but now that hes gone were gonna have to deal w fucking little again arent we#eat that fuckign mouse right now#also there were a lot of interesting hooks in this ep#alyx and louis. the tree being the source of agains. Curious leaving them behind#more and more consequences are piling up on the team. v interested to see how they handle it#and now that the bees are canon hopefully theyll remember that other people fuckign exist#yang your sister is potentially going to reset herself. maybe you should take notice instead of sucking face
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
For: @batteredcourier
Bonus of the "Steak knife" series.
Shape-shifting shit that mostly me and courier will understand, us rn 🤝👫
Songs I listened to while writing this: trash - Oscar lang, so long - fleece, heaven is a night drive - suave punk,
Warnings: kissing, a little bit suggestive, mention of weed usage, weird shape-shifting bs (tell me If I missed any.)
"What? What do you mean you can- oh shit."
Lavina had brushed my hair back with a smile, giving me kisses all over my face with a proud look in her eyes.
"Such a masterpiece you are A ghrá." My face brightens in color.
Leaning downward Lavina would capture my lips into a deep kiss, purely made up of love and adoration for my very being.
She pulls away, leaving me to chase her lips.
She chuckles and smooths my hair over and grabbing my face again with a wide smile, "You do the littlest things and my heart bursts out of my chest."
She'd admit, leaning down to put me in a passionate kiss.
Holding the back of my head and running her fingers through my hair she smiles, placing kisses all over my face down to my neck.
"Lavina-" I would nervously call, and she would look up towards me, her eyes widening.
'Not now, why now of all times?'
Blinking through new eyes I would curse.
'Fuck. FUCK! This wasn't supposed to happen, NOT like this. FUCK.'
"Sal, what wasn't supposed to happen?" Lavina would ask, looking around the room for me.
"Uh. So, uhm." I would mumble.
"Where the feck did you go?-" I would bring up Lavinas hands to her (our) Face, a nervous chuckle escaping me (us).
Placing my (our) hands over the bed I (we) clear my (our) throat, "So, uh. I can, kind of FUSE WITH THE ONES I LOVE? Not like family, like lovers and shit but its MEANT TO HAPPEN AFTER MARRIAGE."
'Adorable, they're nervous.'
"What? What do you mean you can- oh shit." She would lead us to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and cursing.
Instead of her normal appearance she had red eyes, two piercings on the lower lip, one above her eyebrow and ear gauges.
She pokes her tongue out, and sighs in relief when she realizes her own piercing was still in.
Besides that, nothing had changed.
"God I look Fecking hot like this." She would look over our appearance again while messing with the piercings.
Our face would heat up, I slap her hand away with her other hand and let out a hiss, "This isn't the time to admire how we look right now. We have to tell Bob."
Mentally I was freaking out, scenarios of what bad could happen over me 'fusing' (to simplify.) with Lavina.
We inhale.
'What if Bob leaves the relationship?'
Lavina would open the bathroom door and exit.
'What if, what if Lavina starts to hate me for doing this without asking?'
Taking a deep breath in she sighs, "I'm too high for this." She'd mutter under her breath.
'What if-'
Lavina taps the side of her head, bringing me back to her.
"Hey, fusion shit is wild, but I wouldn't leave you over it dude. Plus, while we're like this you're literally speaking to me like..."
She searches for the word.
"Like mind reading! Yeah, I'm sticking with that." I let out a sigh.
She would walk us to Bob, steady cooking in the kitchen.
He would hum a light tune with a smile while cooking a large meal, likely for the date night we had all planned.
Lavina and I took a moment to admire him from the hallway, biting our nail.
'I can't believe I got this lucky with such spectacular people.'
After that thought, her inner dialog became very suggestive.
Forcing us to walk over to Bob before she would act on those thoughts, I call for him.
"Bob!" He would stop humming and acknowledged me by calling out my own name, "Yes Sal?"
We walk over and sit at the Island, waving to Bob from said area Lavina would raise an eyebrow at him swaying his hips to the beat he'd made up in his head.
Bob looks to us, raising a brow.
"When did you get piercings like Sal? Should I be jealous?" He chuckles to himself and leans against the counter, the immaculate smelling food cooking on the stove.
Lavina laughs, "You should be. Maybe they like me more?" Bob raises a brow and looks over Lavina.
I chime from her body, "No, correction. I love you both equally." Bob's eyebrows would raise and he searches her eyes.
Something in his mind would piece together, "SAL???" I sigh, and Lavina laughs.
Wiping away a fake tear she sighs, "took you long enough big guy." I would groan and flick Lavinas ear, she hisses.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR???" This time it was me who laughed.
Bob would stare at us in disbelief, a look of shock flashing over his face.
"Back on topic, I accidentally fused with Lavina." I would look at the Island, avoiding Bob's gaze.
Bob looked ready to throw up, cry and faint at the same time.
"What- How???" Lavina shrugs, "Sal got nervous, likely a part of why it happened. But we need your help." Bob would look at us and put his hands on top of his head.
Lavina would put her hand on our chin, and hum.
Bob would sigh, "Maybe you need an outside force? What were y'all doin' when Sal got nervous?"
She would smile, a proud look crossing her face, "WE were kissing on the bed. Like lovers do." Bob would think further on it, an idea popping into his head.
He hadn't told us a thing before doing it, walking over and grabbing our face.
Leaning down he gives us a deep kiss, smoothing over our hair.
Deepening the kiss, we gasp.
When I had opened my eyes, I was on Lavinas lap, and Bob was holding my hands with a smile.
Lavina would grab my hips and place her head on my shoulder, "He actually did something smart for once." She murmured near my ear.
I would laugh, leaving Bob out of the loop.
"What? What'd the tea lover say?" He would look between us with furrowed eyebrows.
Lavina would laugh as well, filled with mirth and excitement.
Bob would glare at the two of us, "What??? WHAT IS IT???"
Done once more! Writers brick has hit me in the head, I have so many ideas but I don't know how to write them out and it fucking suckssssssssss
I hope you enjoyed this one! I think I did a good job with it, had no idea how to work through it yesterday but I'm glad I figured out how to!
#bob velseb#bob velseb x reader#bob velseb x self insert#mutuals#bob velsen#polycule#steak knife series#for my mutuals#oc x oc#oc x oc x canon#oc x canon#bob velseb x oc
26 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
smallkitttn
🖤SmallKittn🖤
theonebythecottonwood-blog
Books, Hooks, and Tea
woozapooza
keep your eye on the tiger
hbgoon
Boi
psychicruinssoul-blog
Untitled