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hogwartsmarvelmommy · 3 years

Text

Pinky Promise (H.H)

Word count: 10K

Warnings: Angst, Teen pregnancy, Little bit of smut, fluff, mostly fluff i think.

~Dad!Harry x Reader~

🌸🌼 Master list 🌸🌼

Teenage years…

They are the most crucial years in life, the years used to find oneself, to make mistakes, and learn from them. Of course there were certain exceptions to these rules, one in particular, about learning from mistakes… Some mistakes would follow you throughout your life, some would completely change it, and some would have you facing a choice... A choice no teenage girl should be facing alone.

You sat on the bathroom floor holding the white and pink stick in your hands, terrified to look down, terrified to see the answer you already knew you would. With a deep breath, you looked down, seeing the plus sign, clear as day. 15.. 15 years old, and halfway across the world from the boy that got you into this predicament. What the hell were you supposed to do?

The choices you had to make, the sacrifices.. Your childhood was gone, that chance to make mistakes? Long gone.. Life was veered into one direction and you were forced to just go with it.

Looking back you wouldn't change it for the world, the two little boys life blessed you with were your pride and joy. Every trial and tribulation was worth it as long as you were giving them everything they needed and deserved, but it always felt like a part of you was missing.

To be fair your relationship with Harry hadn't ended in a heartbreaking way, no, you two were in love, and it would have lasted forever, you were sure of that, but then your grandmother got sick, prompting your family to move from London to Los Angeles California. It was the only time you had been careless, always so aware of the dangers of unprotected sex, but knowing you'd probably never see Harry again, at least for the years to come, you hadn’t cared to follow the rules, what could one time do?

The answer, it could change the entire course of your life.

You never expected to see Harry again, and this just felt like something that would ruin him, so with his best interest in mind, you deleted any trace of yourself from the internet, all socials, changed your number, and lived life under the radar. Being a teenage mom wouldn't be easy, but it was something you had to do, for them.

Nine years. Nine of the best years, watching them grow, become their own people, getting to love and be loved by them. They had saved your life, and you'd always be grateful for the two of them, how could you not?

“Okay, lunches are packed, and the bus is about to get here. Let's scoot!” You shouted to your twins. You glanced down at your watch to see that you were making good time this morning.

“Mom, Robby wont give me back my switch!” Anthony yelled from the living room. With a sigh you walked out to your living room watching the boys argue over the little hand held device.

“Robert, you broke yours, that doesn't mean you get Ant’s, and you know that,” You spoke calmly but sternly.

“But mom, he said I could have a turn,” Robby complained, pushing out his bottom lip in a pout and flashing his best puppy eyes.

“That's not going to work this time kid, it's time for school,” You laughed, ruffling up your son's curly red hair, before pushing him towards the door to make sure they would catch the bus. With a kiss on each of their heads, and a wave goodbye, you watched as they boarded their bus and left for another day of school. You'd never understand how life flew by so fast, how they went from tiny boys, to giant kids. You wished time would just slow, and give you a second to catch your breath.

Oh, but life had a way of playing some funny tricks.

You worked for a huge multi-million dollar company, and you were the front runner. The face everyone saw. And with a company like this, morale was a big thing, so you were regularly dealing with charities, speaking on behalf of the company and delivering checks, of very generous amounts. Today was one of those days, you had an appointment with one of the heads of a charity called ‘The Brothers Trust,’ like every other appointment, it would take place in your office that was lined with pictures of your twins, all around the walls, from birth to just a few months ago on there first day of third grade.

That wouldn't have posed a problem, or made your stomach hurt, until you heard the voice.

“Y/N, Y/L/N? You're kidding me right now,” The voice was deeper than it had been ten years prior, but it was undeniable that it wasn't him.

“Harry?” You glanced up from your computer screen to see the boy you had been in love with, now was in fact not a boy anymore. He was taller, and broader, but just as handsome as you had remembered. You would have gawked at him for as long as he would have allowed, until you remembered the pictures of your children all over the place. The children you shared with Harry Holland. The children he was blindly unaware of.

“Wow, it has been so long,” He exclaimed rounding your desk as you stood up to greet him. His arms wrapped you in a tight hug, something you hadn't felt in way too long. He smelled just as you remembered too, and all those feelings, all those memories came flooding back, but so did the guilt. “You disappeared, after you moved. We never heard from you again,” it was a statement, but it felt like a question. You felt your heart race increase, hoping he would not see any of the pictures of the boys, and hoping if he did, he wouldn't put two and two together.

“Oh, yeah, you know life happened,” You said stupidly. Luckily he laughed, ignoring how awful the excuse was.

“Well how have you been? Working for this company, you have really made something of yourself, haven't ya?” he asked, genuinely impressed. Ha, if only he knew.

“I've been good, i uh, worked my way up, I've been here since i turned 18, but i started as just a receptionist,” you explained.

“Oh, no college?” He asked.

“Nope. Didn't have the time,” you answered quickly, he furrowed his brows, at that. And then you saw his eyes shift to above your head. Where the picture of the boys just a few months ago was proudly placed. You watched as Harry's smile faltered. It was impossible for him to not connect the dots, the boys were identical to Him and Sam at that age.

Harry cleared his throat as he glanced around the room at the various pictures. “You have kids?” He asked.

“Yep,” You answered, your palms were beginning to sweat, and you could swear the walls were shrinking in on you.

“Twins?” He asked, he was focusing on a picture to his left, of Robby one Halloween. He had looked so much like Harry in the picture, it almost made you gasp when you had taken it.

“Yes,” Your one-worded answers were the biggest admission of your guilt, you couldn't even think. Your children's father was in front of you, discovering the fact that he not only had a child, but he had two.

“How old are they?” He didn't even glance at you, he probably couldn't. He knew the answer, he had already figured it out.

“There nine,” you whispered, looking down, tears flooding your eyes, you couldn't do this now. This was so much.. He had to be mad. And if he was, he had every right to be.

“Y/N?” He pushed, his voice was soft, not what you had expected. To be honest you had expected screaming, it's what you deserved. “Y/N? Look at me please,” You glanced up seeing him on the brink of tears as well.

“Tell me those boys don't have my blood running through these veins, tell me they are not mine,” He whispered.

“I can't do that,” you whispered back, your whole world crumbling around you.

“I need some air,” Harry said, rushing out of your office. Everything in you screamed at you to stay there, to not run after him, but you found yourself doing just that. You found him in the courtyard, crouched down, obviously overwhelmed from learning of the children he shared with you.

“Harry?” You asked. He didn't move, or even look at you, he couldn't bring himself to.

“How? We were so careful,” he said.

“Yeah, except for that last time,” You told him. His head shot towards you, eyes wide and mouth open.

“You're saying I got you pregnant, an hour before you boarded a plane to the states?” he demanded. You simply nodded. “I can't even be a jerk and ask if you're sure, because that kid is a spitting image of me,” he scoffed, before standing back up.

You heard the chuckle leave your mouth before you could even think about it. “Yeah, Robby looks just like you, but Ant looks a lot like Sam,” You said quietly.

His eyebrows raised, “What are their names?” He asked.

“Robert, and Anthony, or as I call them Robby and Ant,” you felt your cheeks flush, having named them after Harry and Sam.

“I like that,” He laughed, running his fingers through his hair. “This is a lot Y/N. Why did you keep this from me?” He wondered. He deserved a good explanation, he deserved the truth.

“I was scared. I was fifteen, and had just left, and I thought you would hate me, so I just figured it was better to do it alone, to keep you in the dark, and let you have the rest of your childhood. It was probably a selfish decision, but I was so young, I didn't know any better,” you explained.

“As they got older, you never considered reaching out?” his question was a valid one, and the truth? You had, so many times you had contemplated it, thinking about how good it would be for them to have him, to know there father, but you were always worried that they would resent you, resent you for keeping him a secret, for not letting them know an entire second family, that would have loved them unconditionally.

“I couldn't let myself wonder, if you would even want them, want to be part of their lives. I couldn't deal with it,” You whispered, tears streaming down your face.

“Do you honestly think I wouldn't have dropped everything and come out here for you, for them? Even at 15 y/n, I would have sacrificed everything for you, I loved you. You were it. You didn't even consider me,” he said, tears rushing down his own cheeks.

“I'm sorry, Harry. I'm so sorry,” you knew you were ugly sobbing now, and in front of your job nonetheless Not your finest moment, but if anyone knew what was going on, you're sure they wouldn't blame you.

The last thing you expected was for Harry to hug you, to comfort you. You had wronged him, you had kept something so big from him, robbed him of knowing his kids, raising them and loving them, you had done that. But he still pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your neck as the two of you cried, both of you hurt, both of you sorry,

You finally felt your tears stop, as Harry still held you close. A familiar feeling.

“Do you want to know them?” You asked. Pulling away, Harry looked you in the eyes, and flashed you a small smile.

“I would love nothing more than to meet them,” He whispered.

You weren't sure how to approach the situation. How did one introduce their children to their father? Would you even let them know that he was their dad, right off the bat? You had exchanged numbers with Harry and gave him your address. You wanted him to meet them, but you were scared of how they would react. You didn't want them to resent you.

Y/N: I'm gonna introduce you as just a friend, for now.

H: I understand, is that a common thing?

Y/N: Is what?

H: You bringing guy friends around?

Y/N: oh. No. It's not.

H: Oh, good.

Y/N: Was that your way of asking if i’ve dated? lol

H: ha. That obvious?

You stood in your kitchen, chopping vegetables as you waited for the boys to get home. You were nervous, but a part of you was excited, and hopeful. You heard the door open, and the sweet sound of giggling flooded your house.

“Mommy!” Robby exclaimed running into the kitchen to hug you, Ant wasn't far behind.

“Hi mamma,” He said, greeting you with a hug.

“How was school?” You asked them, listening as they told you about every aspect of their days. “So, uh, I have a friend who's going to come over for dinner,” you told them, both boys turning to look at you, their interest obviously piqued.

“Is it aunt Jaz?” Robby asked you.

“Oh, no it's an old friend from when I lived in London,” you told him.

“I thought you didn't talk to anyone from when you were younger, mom?” Ant asked. Your kids were too smart for their own good sometimes.

“Well, i don't, but i ran into him and-”

“Him?”

“Like a boyfriend?”

“Now what do you know about boyfriends?” you laughed.

“Mom, I had a girlfriend last year,” Ant told you, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Yeah ok stud, just be on your best behavior tonight, okay?” Both boys nodded before running to the living room to play their games.

As you were finishing up dinner you heard a knock at the front door. After wiping your hands on your apron, you walked over and opened the door, finding Harry with a bouquet of flowers standing on your step. “Hi, come in,” You ushered him in.

“These are for you,” He admitted coyly, handing you the flowers, making your cheeks flush.

“You didn't have to,”

“No, but I wanted to,” He smiled at you. Suddenly you heard a commotion in the living room and then a very loud..

“MOM!”

You rushed to the living room to see one of your sons with a bloody nose and the other hiding behind his hands. “Robert Michael! How many times have I told you to keep your hands to yourself?” You spoke loudly, but did not yell. “Anthony, honey, let's go clean that up,” You said soothingly as you took your son's hand and rushed him to the bathroom to clean up his bloodied face. Raising boys was a mission, and one that oftentimes had blood and arguments, something you had become accustomed too.

You would have to deal with Robby later, but for now, you needed to get through the night, and introduce them to Harry.

“Kitchen boys,” You said to your sons, leading the way. Harry was standing by the door still, not sure exactly what he should do, the whole situation was nerve wracking.

“Boys, this is Mom's friend Harry,” You said as the boys shuffled their way in front of you. “This is Robby,” You told him as you ruffled your redheaded son's hair. “And this is Ant,” You told him as you bopped the brown haired boy on the nose.

“Mom,” Anthony groaned at you.

“Hi guys, it's nice to meet you,” Harry said as he offered out his hand. Both boys looked at him like he was absolutely crazy.

“Are you our moms boyfriend?” Ant asked.

“Yeah, are you?” Robby added.

You felt your cheeks flush at your children's bluntness, and as soon as you got ready to say something Harry took over.

“I was, at one point, a long time ago, but then we grew up and grew apart.” He told them,

Both the boys shrugged, accepting that, like it made so much sense in their little boy brains.

Dinner went off without a hitch, and what was an introductory dinner turned into biweekly dinners, which turned into weekend hangouts and spending a lot of time together.

Harry was so patient, he never stepped over the line that you had placed down, allowing things to progress naturally. He waited a full four months before bringing the whole ‘dad’ thing back up.

You were sitting on a park bench, watching as the kids ran around the playground. “You think we will tell them anytime soon?” He asked you. It was a fair question.

“As soon as we do, everything will change. There will be expectations, and they will hold you accountable for a lot. Are you sure you're ready for that?” You asked him.

“Are you?” you looked at him, his brown eyes looking deeply into yours. You wanted so badly to be a picture perfect family. You wanted to believe that this could work, but there were so many kinks, but the most important was where you both lived. Sure Harry was here for a while with Tom, but his home was London, and you had built a life here. Would you be willing to let your kids go to spend time with their dad halfway across the world, while you stayed behind? "Come to London with me for the weekend," Harry said, catching you off guard. "Let them meet my family? I can take you guys around the city, it'll be fun," this was something that should take time and consideration to agree to.

"Okay," you blurted, not even taking a second to consider what that could mean.

"Wait, really?" Harry asked, shocked at how easily you had agreed.

"I mean, yeah, why not. It'll have to happen at some point right?" You told him, the sour feeling in your stomach catching up to your words. What had you gotten yourself into?

Anyone's first time flying is stressful, but throwing two nine year old’s on a plane, without much warning, probably takes the cake for a stress filled situation. The boys were between you and Harry, and while Robby was fine, Anthony was having a mild panic attack. "Baby, it's ok," you soothed him, rubbing his arm.

"Mommy, planes crash all the time," he said in a panicked tone.

"I promise you they don't bub, you're going to be fine, just close your eyes and try and relax," of course that was easier said than done, but by the third hour in, he was peacefully sleeping on your shoulder. You looked over to see Robby slumped out against Harry's arm, who was still angling the movie he was watching towards him so he could see.

"Harry," you said, catching his attention, you nodded at your sleeping son, making Harry's attention switch to the boy. It warmed your heart how much the boys liked Harry and had warmed up to him, it made everything so much easier. "I'll have to find a hotel after we land, I totally spaced it," you explained.

"Absolutely not," Harry said. "You guys are staying with me and I will not take no for an answer," he insisted. You smiled at him, the small gesture meaning so much to you.

"Thank you," you told him, he smiled and nodded at you.

Harry's house was nice, big for just a single guy. You walked down the hall following him to a room, and as soon as he opened the door you felt your heart skip a beat.

"I had Sam and Paddy, put them up, and go and by bed sets and some random toys so they weren't miserable," harry explained as you stared into the room that looked like it was designed just for your children. The fact that he had his brothers come over to set up a bunk bed and make his house more kid friendly, it meant a lot to you.

And as soon as the boys saw it, they were ecstatic. Admiring all the brand new toys and things in the room, it filled your heart with joy.

"Good job, dad," you whispered to Harry before walking back to the living room. It was something simple, you hadn't really even thought before you said it. But the simple sentence made Harry's heart skip a beat. He wanted so badly to be what the boys deserved, the dad they deserved. He had missed out on so much, he wasn't sure he would ever make it up to them, and once they knew he was their dad, he hoped they didn't hate him for not being around.

After the long flight, the boys fell asleep early, opting to sleep in one bed instead of separating. You kissed them both goodnight before heading back to the living room to Harry, who was laying out a blanket on the couch.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Oh, I'm gonna take the couch, so you can have my bed," he explained.

"No, I'll take the couch," you argued. He laughed and shook his head. "I'm literally not going to allow you to sleep on the couch in your own house," you told him.

"We could just share my bed," he offered. You felt your stomach knot at the offer. It was silly really, but you had not been with someone since Harry. You had never had time, even if that's not what he was suggesting, it still made you nervous.

"I mean, if it's alright with you," you said, shyly.

"Of course it is," he insisted.

You stood in the bathroom as you got yourself ready for bed. Nerves were high. The last few months spent with Harry, you had shared a few moments, but each and every time, something had interrupted, leaving both of you lost and confused about how the other felt.

So now as you crawled into his bed, you were made aware of the way you felt. You laid as close to the edge as you could manage, not wanting to cross a line. Harry quickly noticed your awkward demeanor.

"Are you ok?" He asked you quietly.

"Hmm? Yeah," you told him, but he didn't buy it.

"You can scoot closer, I won't bite," even in the dark you could hear the smirk on his face. It made you giggle.

"Yeah, yeah alright," you mumbled as you scooted closer. Your fingertips brushed against Harry's hand, and thought your mind yelled at you to move away, your heart was screaming for you to keep it there. So you did.

"Have you ever thought about how it would have been had you not moved away?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Yeah," you whispered.

"You think we would have stayed together?" He wondered.

"You were it for me, if I hadn't left, I'm pretty sure we would have gone off and gotten married by now," you admitted. Harry laughed at that.

"You know, I never stopped looking for you. In crowds, on planes, everywhere. I was always hopeful I'd run into you," he said.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch," you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

"You had your reasons, I just wish we would have had more time you know," he said, turning to face you. "Have you ever felt that way towards anyone else?" He asked.

"I, uh, I've never been with anyone else," you whispered. Harry took a deep breath in, unsure of if he'd heard you right.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Exactly what I said," you giggled. "Being a teen mom, it's not really a turn on for guys," you admitted.

"Ten years though?" Harry asked, shocked.

"You know there's things you can buy to assist with that," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Wait, you're being serious?" Harry demanded.

"Deadly"

You weren't sure exactly what you were thinking, but the talk of your lack of sex life mixed with the close proximity of harry made you feel something you hadn't felt in so long.

You could feel his breath on your lips, before they connected. You might have been the one who leaned in but you couldn't be too sure.

His hand rested gently on your waist, as his lips gently gilded together with yours, it was soft and slow, and sweet. But then you let out a moan, and what was just a soft kiss was soon so much more. Your fingers twisted into his curls as he snaked his hands around your waist, pulling your body into him. His tongue slid over your bottom lip, and you knew things were probably going to get heated.

Until you heard it.

"Mamma," the voice was quiet and distant, meaning whichever boy it was, was still in bed. Making you believe it was Robby, who had night terrors.

You pulled away from Harry, and as you went to get up you felt his hand catch your wrist. "Can I?" He asked. You weren't sure he could possibly comfort him the way he would need, but you knew you needed to at least let him try, he is their dad after all.

"Yeah, okay," you nodded, watching as he got up and sloped through the door.

You felt helpless sitting in Harry's bed waiting, you weren't sure why. It's not like one of them was hurt, but you were their mom, their only parent for so long, and in their eyes you still were. You were the sun, the moon, and the earth to them, and giving up that little bit of control felt very foreign and almost unnatural.

The bedroom door opened quietly as Harry came back into the room, you could see the smile on his face in the moonlight, "I may or may not owe one or both of them ice cream in the morning for breakfast," he chuckled. You felt the butterflies erupt in your stomach.

"Harry, you didn't," you laughed as he laid down next to you.

"Well, Robby had a nightmare, and then because they were in the same bed it woke up Ant, so I read them a story, and then they wanted to know if I had any video games, and I told them I'd show them in the morning, but there really good negotiators," he informed you, something you were way to aware of.

"So, what was the negotiation?" You pondered.

"Oh.. well about that. I'm showing them my video games and they get ice cream for breakfast," he laughed as he said the words, knowing how silly he sounded.

"They have you wrapped around their fingers already," you laughed as you laid back down next to Harry.

"Yeah they do," he chuckled.

"So, that kiss," you whispered.

You could feel his eyes on you, watching the way you were biting your bottom lip, nerves on overdrive. He leaned in closer to you, lips almost touching again.

"It was long overdue," he said before reconnecting your lips. You let yourself get consumed by Harry's lips, just like back then, it felt like your lips were made for each other, it was beautiful.

You wanted more. More of Harry, more of the happiness you felt when you were with him.

His hand slipped under your shirt, his fingers grazing the naked skin of your back, and you felt your body tremble at his touch. It was embarrassing how easily you were flustered by him. How easily you would become undone by him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as you continued to kiss him, your leg went over him and he pushed his knee between your legs, before rolling you onto your back and climbing over you. He kissed your neck, with open mouth kisses as his hands rested on your hips. There was a pause, as his lips made there way from your neck to the collar of your shirt, a pause that was asking for permission. You giggled, and reached down to pull the shirt over your head. Harry took a deep breath as his eyes trailed your newly exposed chest, you had changed, after having two kids, breastfeeding, and so long of not being seen by another person, you suddenly felt super self conscious, but the way Harry was looking, it wasn't in disgust, it was in awe, in awe at your beauty, the stretch marks that were lining your skin, it just was proof of the miracle you had performed by birthing the two boys.

"You're so beautiful" he whispered, before trailing kisses down your chest. You tugged on his shirt, pulling it over his head, and throwing it to the ground, before pulling him back up to connect your lips again. You could feel how much of an effect you had on him, and you knew you were soaked.

"We don't have to do anything, I'm not expecting anything," Harry mumbled against your lips.

"I know, I want to," you told him. He smiled against your lips, you were everything Harry wanted, everything he had always wanted. It had always been you, even after ten years, it was still you.

"You'll have to be quiet," he whispered. Making you giggle.

"I'm sure I can manage that," you chuckled. With that, Harry hooked his fingers in the waistband of your shorts, grabbing both them and your panties and dragging them slowly down your legs, before finally letting them drop to the floor. He then pulled down his own, exposing his hard and aching member.

"Condom?" You asked. He chuckled before reaching over to the side table and fishing in the drawer and finding the foil rapper.

"Don't need anymore Rugrats right now," he teased as he ripped the package open with his teeth. He rolled the rubber over himself before lining himself up at your entrance, you knew that you were not going to last as soon as he pushed his way in, and he went slow, interlocking his hands with yours, kissing you as he slowly thrust into you. It was so much more than just 'sex' it was beautiful and perfect, it was full of love, love that you both felt for each other after all this time, love that neither of you had admitted to.

You both laid, naked, bodies tangled together after everything was said and done.

"I told my parents to take it easy, not overstep, but my mum is exited, she hasn't stopped talking about tomorrow, since I brought it up a few weeks ago," harry said as he strokes your hair. Your head was on his bare chest.

"Weeks?" You wondered, he had only brought up the idea to you a few days prior.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you sooner, but I was nervous," he admitted. You chuckled at that. Your eyes grew heavy and you felt your eyelids flutter shut before falling asleep in Harry's arms.

When you woke up, you were alone. The sun was shining through the curtains and you could hear the distant sounds of a television playing somewhere in the house. With a groan, you got yourself up, walking towards the noise, you paused in the doorway as you admired Harry between your two boys, explaining some video game to them. It was a sight you could get used to, a sight you'd like to see every morning.

"Good morning," you called out, making all three of their glances shoot towards you.

"Mamma!" Both the boys exclaimed, running to you and engulfing you in a hug. You kissed each of them on their heads, and ruffled up their hair.

"Did you sleep well?" You wondered.

"I had a nightmare, but Harry came in and read us a story," Robby told you.

"And then he promised to get us ice cream for breakfast," Ant added proudly.

"Oh I know he did," you laughed as you watched your kids run back to the room, probably to play with the toys. "Thanks for letting me sleep in," you smiled at Harry.

"It's the least I could do," he admitted, before walking up and placing a kiss on your forehead, "do you want ice cream, or real food for breakfast?"

Looking at the path that led up to the front door was overwhelming. You'd been here so many times before, but that was years ago. You stood waiting for Harry to get something out of the car, holding each of your son's hands. You knew that the Hollands had every right to be mad at you. You had his something so big for so long, and just like with Harry, you had robbed them of the first years of the boy's life.

While Harry understood, you weren't sure the rest of his family would feel the same.

"Ready?" Harry asked, walking up behind you.

"Oh, absolutely," you mumbled sarcastically.

"Mom, who are these people?" Ant whispered.

"There Harry's parents," you answered. You knew this must be so confusing for your kids, you wanted so badly to explain everything to them, you just weren't sure you were ready.

Harry walked in front of you, opening the door, the smell of food flooded your nostrils. There was a bark and patterning of paws on the floor before being greeted by a mid sized dog. "Tess don't jump," Harry instructed as she sniffed at the boys who had let go of your hands and we're hugging the dog.

"Y/n/n?" You heard from down the hall, turning to see Sam.

"Sammy!" You exclaimed, greeting him with a hug.

"Wow, look at you, all grown, and with two little guys in tow," he said, holding you tightly. He let go grabbing you by the shoulders and looking into your eyes. "You should have told him, he would have dropped everything for you three," he whispered. If it had come from anyone else it would have been condescending, but coming from Sam you knew he was just looking out for his twin, the Same way your boys did.

"I know, I'm sorry," you told him. He smiled at you, pulling you into another hug.

"You're here now, that's what matters," he whispered.

"Y/n y/l/n? Oh my goodness, look at you!" Nikki's voice was full of joy and excitement which eased your nerves instantly, she pulled you into her arms, squeezing you tightly. "I have a bone to pick with you, young lady,but right now I want to meet these little hooligans," she told you turning to look at the boys completely distracted by Tessa.

"Boys, come and say hi please," you told them. They both stood up and walked over standing shyly next to Harry as the two strangers to them watched them. You saw Nikki's eyes start to water.

"Mum, come on we talked about this," Harry groaned.

"I'm sorry, they just look, just like-"

"Come on mum, let's go over here for a minute," Sam interrupted, pulling her away before she said too much.

"Did we make her cry Harry?" Robby asked. Harry looked down at the boy who had a sad face.

"No, no. You didn't do anything to make her sad, she just cries sometimes," he explained before shooting you an apologetic look.

You heard voices from the other room, most of which were hushed until one spoke loudly.

"Wait, Harry's kids are here?"

"Paddy, quiet would you!" Sam exclaimed.

You shot your glance at the boys who luckily were still too occupied with the dog to have heard anything. "Maybe this was a mistake," Harry said as he walked up putting his arm around your waist.

"Hey, we'll get through it," you told him, laying your head on his shoulder. "We need to tell them soon though, I don't want someone to spoil it,"

"What about after we leave here, we go get ice cream?" He asked.

"You and your ice cream, I swear," you giggled at him.

Dinner with the Hollands was much easier than you had expected, there full attention was on the boys, who loved being the center of attention.

When diner was done you offered to help Nikki clean while the boys went to the living room.

"You know we wouldn't have been mad," Nikki said.

"Huh?" She had caught you off guard.

"When you found out you were pregnant, we wouldn't have been mad, you guys were young, you were bound to be reckless. I just wish you would have come to us," she explained.

"I was scared," you admitted.

"Of him not wanting them?" She wondered.

"Maybe.. I was so young. I didn't want him to give up his life just because I had to give up mine," you admitted to her.

"Well, the past is in the past, and now you guys have a chance to fix things," she squeezed your shoulder, and offered you a smile.

You were glad the Hollands didn't resent you, it made things easier, but there was still the actual fact of telling the boys.

You sat at the table, as the boys stood with Harry at the window of the ice cream shack, ordering to their heart's desire. You were playing out various scenarios of how this conversation could go in your head. You hoped the boys wouldn't be mad, but if they were you wouldn't blame them.

Harry had been around for months now, and you had still kept it from them, but now, it was time.

The boys sat across from you with their overflowing cones of ice cream, smiles so big you were sure their cheeks would be hurting from it. Harry sat beside you and placed his hand on the low of your back and slid you a small cup with some chocolate ice cream.

“Hey guys,” both the boys looked up at you, waiting for you to continue. “Do you remember a few months ago, when you asked why your dad wasn't around? After Chris's birthday,”

“Yeah,”

“Mmm hmm”

“Well, I wasn't honest with you. I know I told you it was because he had things going on and he had always been too busy to come see us, but the truth is, he never knew,” both boys stared at you in confusion.

“Our dad didn't know that he had us?” Ant questioned.

“How could he not know that mom?” Robby added.

“Well when i was young, i fell in love with a boy, and when you fall in love sometimes it results in babies, but by the time i knew, i had moved from here, to California, and i never told your dad,” You could feel Harry's eyes burning into your skin as he waited for the shoe to drop, ready for whatever was to come.

“So our dad is from here? Does that mean he has an accent like Harry?” Robby asked excitedly.

“I wish Harry was our dad, he's the coolest,” Ant said to Robby, who nodded at his brother in agreement.

“Oh,” you were shocked at what you had just heard. “Guys, Harry is your dad,” Silence. It was like everything went dead, the buzzing of the street light, the laughing of the kids around the ice cream shack, everything stopped, the boys stared at you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, or shock, or both. You looked at Harry who was looking right at you, obviously speechless.

“Does that mean we have to stay here without you?” Ant asked you, worry written all over his face.

“What? No!” You assured him.

“Because Chris has to stay with his dad sometimes without his mom, and he doesn't like it,” He explained.

“Is that why we have the same hair?” Robby asked Harry.

“Yeah, buddy, that's why we have the same hair,” He laughed.

“Can we play your video games now cause you're our dad? Do we have to call you dad?” Robby questioned, he was obviously more okay with the situation than his brother.

“You guys can call me whatever you want, we will take things slow, i'm not trying to step in and take over, your mom has done an amazing job, and i'm just glad that i get to be a part of your guys life now,” Harry explained.

“So I can play your video games?” Robby repeated.

“Yes, Robby, you can play my video games,” Harry laughed as Robby busted out a giant smile, you could see that Ant was not taking it well, and was being rather quiet.

You got back to Harry's house and he and Robby made their way inside, as you held Ant back, crouching down so you could talk to him. “Hey, talk to me, tell me what you're thinking,” You told him as you ran your fingers over his cheek.

“What if he doesn't want to be my dad?” he asked, taking you totally by surprise.

“What do you mean bub?” You wondered.

“What if he thinks i’m stupid, or he doesn't like me cause i get scared, and then he leaves cause he doesn't like being my dad?” you felt your heart break as your son stressed over these things. You pulled him into your arms, squeezing him tight.

“He already loves you bub, and he's not going anywhere ok?” you told him.

“You promise?” He asked, sticking out his little pinky.

“Cross my heart,” You said as you looped your finger with his, kissing him gently on the forehead, before heading into the house.

The next few months were spent trying to adjust to the new dynamic. After the long weekend spent in London, and admitting your secret to the boys, things had definitely changed. You noticed that they needed you less and less and gravitated towards Harry instead. You had offered to let him stay with you while he was back in la, but he had insisted that he didn't want to overwhelm you with his presence, and opted to stay in the rental, him tom and their close friend Harrison had been staying in.

The more time the boys spent with Harry, the more you regretted not doing this sooner. But you couldn't help but feel sad that you weren't the sun, the moon and stars anymore, now you were just mom.

You sat at the kitchen table with your best friend jaz trying to hash out some of the details of the boy's upcoming birthday. "So, have you guys talked about getting back together?" She asked you.

"No, most of the talk is just about the boys," you informed her.

"Well, with him around, maybe you could actually try dating," you knew she was trying to be helpful, but it came across as naggy.

"I don't want to date, Jaz, I'm perfectly content with how things are," you declared.

"Ok miss I haven't had sex in ten years, whatever you say," she mumbled.

"For your information, I had sex like three months ago," you quipped.

There was a mixture of shock and excitement that washed over her face at your confession, and you immediately regretted the mouth diarrhea you had. "Oh my god y/n you slept with baby daddy didn't you,"

"Ew, do not call him that, that makes me feel like a hood rat," you sighed. "But yes I slept with 'baby daddy'. I just I've been confused since, because as soon as we got back to the states, it was like radio silence. He's been around for the kids, but hasn't even spent a second alone with me. Not that I expected him to, but I'd like to know what that night meant to him," you groaned, dropping your head onto your arms.

"He has always had you so wound up, even when you hadn't spoken in years, face it y/n, you love him, you have always loved him, and you never stopped loving him," her words rang true, and you hated that.

After all this time, it was still him, no matter how badly you had tried to make sure it wasn't. "What do I do?" You begged her for guidance, something to help you figure it out.

"This is on you chickadee," she said before kissing your cheek and grabbing her bag. "Just don't wait too long again," she warned you with an extended finger.

"Yes mom," you mocked.

The boys were set to spend the night at a friend's house, meaning you had a night to yourself, a night that could be used to relax, or sleep, but instead you found yourself cleaning.

It was almost ten o'clock at night when you heard the doorbell ring. You had told Harry the boys had a sleepover, so you weren't sure who it could be. You opened the door to find him there, with a bag in his hand.

"I bought stuff to make cookies," he informed you.

"Well come in," you giggled, moving out of his way.

Harry walked into the kitchen pulling out all the ingredients for homemade chocolate chip cookies. “Did you get vanilla extract?” you mused.

“You don't have any?” his face fell into a frown. You rolled your eyes walking up behind him and pulling open the cupboard and pulling out the little glass vial.

“Course I do,” you grinned.

“Ah, cheeky thing you are,” He snickered as you hopped on to the counter.

"I can be, when I wanna," you winked at him. He shook his head as he stared at you.

"Help me with the measurements would ya?" He handed you a bag of flour and a measuring cup.

You hopped off the counter, measuring out the dry ingredients, and then the wet ingredients, mixing them all together and then adding the Chocolate chips. You preheated your oven, and begin separating the dough as you wait for the oven.

Harry stood behind you, hands on the counter boxing you in, you could feel his breath on the back of your exposed neck. "What are you doing?" You requested.

"I'm just admiring the view," he whispered, lips dangerously close to your ear.

"Harry," you whispered. As soon as you said his name, he's lips pressed against your skin, he took a step forward, his body pushing into yours, he placed his hands on your hips, holding you there, as he let himself get carried away with kisses. You may not have known in that moment, but Harry loved you, then, before, still, always.

"I can't get enough of you," he mumbled into your neck. You leaned your head to the side giving him more access.

You turned around, finding his lips with yours. It was a hungry kiss, an anticipated kiss. Your mouths were moving too fast to keep up, but it didn't stop you.

Harry hoisted you up into his arms, making you giggle as he carried you aver to the living room. Both of you forgot about the cookies that were waiting to be put in the oven.

It took no time for your clothes to be discarded. First it was his shoes and then that was followed suit by your shirt, then his, then pants, and undergarments. Then to some miracle you had made your way to your bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes to be cleaned up afterwards.

He pushed you onto the bed, as he got down to his knees, peppering your legs with kisses from your knees to your inner thighs, skipping right over your aching core, and just when you were about to complain, he ran his finger through your folds from entrance to clit. You moaned out at that, the anticipation making it all that much better. He lowered his face down, licking a strip up until focusing on your clit, it seemed like he was spelling something out with his tongue and it was sending you right over the edge. He could tell that you were about to explode with how you were squirming from under him. He placed his hand on your lower stomach and flashed you a grin before going back to what he was doing before. You felt the band in your stomach snap as your orgasm washed over you, a wave of pure ecstasy.

And Harry devoured it, until you just couldn't take anymore, pushing his head away from your newly sensitive core.

"Sorry baby, couldn't help myself," he chuckled at you. He wiped his glistening face off before bringing it up to kiss you again. You could taste yourself on his lips, And it wasn't what you would have expected, it seemed to turn you on even more.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply, passionately. "I need to tell you something," he said against your lips.

You felt your stomach tighten. "What?" You asked, disconnecting your lips.

"I uh, I found you a few years ago," he muttered.

You felt your brows furrow together in confusion. You pushed yourself into a seating position.

" What?" You repeated.

"I saw your face in an article about your company, and asked around about you," he explained. "I needed to know if you were ok, you left and never looked back, so I tried to figure out how you were," he reached out to grab your hand but you pulled it back, confused as to what he was saying. "The person I finally got in contact with told me about your parents accident, and that you were dealing with your grandma, who was set to go at anytime, leaving just you and the boys, and I was confused when they said you and 'the boys' so I asked about them, and they told me how old they were. I connected the dots then, I wasn't sure, but I had a strong feeling," he told you. You nodded, your head as you processed his words. "She gave me your number, to call you, but I could never bring myself to," he whispered.

"You knew?" You were shocked.

"I didn't know, but I had a feeling, and then when I saw their pictures, I knew that I was right," he told you.

"How long?" You demanded, tears rushing to your eyes.

"This was probably five or so years ago," he sighed.

You felt your heart shatter, five years ago the boys were only four, you were barely twenty. To think he knew, or at least suspected? The reason you never called was because you were worried he wouldn't want to be there, and for him to practically confirm that. It fucking hurt.

"You never called," you whispered.

"I couldn't, I was so busy, with Tom becoming spider man, I was always on the road, and I didn't have any extra time to deal with anything else, I tried to push the possibility out of my head, but I never could," he mumbled.

All this time, the guilt you had felt, for withholding information, just to find out he had known. The nearly eight months he had been back in your life you had been completely honest disclosing everything, putting yourself and your kids out there, thinking that you were the bad guy.

"How certain were you when you found out? That they were yours," you demanded.

"97%," he whispered.

"Harry!" You shouted. "97%? Are you kidding me?" He shook his head. "It wasn't a coincidence you being the one to collect the check for the charity, was it?"

"No it wasn't, it should have been Claire, but I insisted I do it," He stammered.

"Would you have ever called?" You whispered.

"Yes, I would have, I just, I needed to wrap my mind around the idea," he explained.

"You needed five years to wrap your head around the fact that you had children? I got like seven months Harry! At the age of fifteen! I had to figure it out without help, my parents disowned me for keeping them! They were premature and in the hospital for months after they were born and I didn't have anyone, you don't get to just take your time wrapping your head around something like this. I should have told you when I found out I was pregnant. That is on me, but me feeling guilty about the last few years, while you have known? That's not fair. You missed out on their lives because of yourself if you knew, because the second you showed up I let you in, I allowed you back into my life and theirs, despite every wall I had up screaming at me not to, that you being around was going to cause me unbearable heartbreak." You cried. "I love you Harry, I've loved you everyday since we were 13 years old, and what I did was selfish, but I did it with the best intentions. You acted selfishly all together, with no thought of anyone but yourself,"

"Y/n-"

"I can't, we shouldn't have.. you shouldn't be here," you cried. You stood up and grabbed a blanket from the floor, wrapping it around yourself as you went to your bathroom. You knew from the start this was a bad idea, why couldn't you just listen to yourself. You slid down the bathroom door sobbing silently.

Knock. Knock.

"Y/n? I know I was wrong. I'm not denying that baby, but I'm not leaving, and I'm not letting you go again. I can't, you three mean too much to me, and you're right.. I missed out on some of their lives because of my own actions, so I'm not blaming you, I'll never blame you. You did what I could never do. You gave up everything to give them the best lives. And by the looks of it, they have been blessed with the best mum," he said through the door.

"You lied to me, you've been lying to me," you muttered.

"And I'm done. I needed to come clean, because I love you, and I love them, I cannot lose you guys, I won't, I want us to be a family, I want to be here to see them off to school every morning and to kiss you goodnight every night. I want to spend Holidays together, and adopt silly traditions that only make sense to us. I want to be here to help you when you need it, and stand back and let you be who you are," you could hear him crying. He was being honest now, that had to mean something.

You stood up, and opened the bathroom door, he was standing against the door frame in his boxers and his shirt, eyes red, hair a mess. "No more lies," you whispered.

"Never again," he swore.

"Promise?" You asked, sticking out your pinky. He chuckled lightly before looping his with yours. "Promise,"

It was a familiar feeling, dejavu if you must. You waited patiently on the bathroom floor, time ticking by slowly. Your phone went off, alerting you that the time was up and it was time to look.

You glanced down to the pink and white stick in your hand. Excitement washed over you at the sight of the little plus sign staring you in the face. Your eyes began to water as you realized how everything had fallen into place, how perfect everything had become.

Knock! Knock!

"Lovie, are you-" the door opened and Harry looked at you sitting on the bathroom floor. "What are you doing? You're going to get your dress a mess," he groaned as he reached out, grabbing your hand and pulling you to your feet. You looked down at the big white gown that you would never wear again, as Harry turned you around brushing it off. "Why are you hiding in here anyway? Our guests are expecting to see you," he placed a kiss on your forehead.

"Well, I had to check on something," you giggled.

"In the bathroom?" He wondered.

You held out your hand with the test in it, showing him the plus sign on it. His brows furrowed for half a second before rising in excitement. "Does this mean-"

"We're going to have a baby," you exclaimed. He wrapped his arms around your waist lifting you up and spinning you around as he hugged you.

"I love you so much," he said, peppering your face with kisses.

"I love you, Harry," you told him.

You followed behind him back down to the backyard of your recently purchased London home where all your friends and family had gathered to celebrate your wedding. As you walked through the door hand in hand everyone cheered. You spent most of the night dancing, enjoying a day that you would remember for the rest of your life.

You stood in the doorway, your suitcase next to you as you explained everything to Nikki about the boy's routine. You were being overly worried seeing as the twins were now 12 and perfectly capable of sticking to their routine by themselves, but you were their mom, it was your job to worry.

"Love, they will be fine, we will only be gone a week," Harry reminded you as you watched the boys playing with the dogs.

"You can call us anytime, we will have our phones on," you repeated.

"Darling, go enjoy your Honeymoon, I have them, they will be fine," Nikki assured you. You nodded, still not completely comfortable but you knew you had nothing to worry about.

"Ok guys, we're off," you called out, both boys ran over wrapping their arms around your waist. "I love you both,"

"Bye mommy, love you," Robby said.

"Love you mom," Ant told you.

Both boys let go of you and ran to Harry, hugging him as well.

"Bye dad, love you," Robby said.

"Love you daddy, have fun," Ant told him.

"Love you boys," Harry told them.

"We'll be back before you can even miss us, ok?" You told them.

"Promise?" Ant asked, sticking out his pinky. You looped your pinky with his and kissed his forehead.

"Promise,"

#harry holland #harry robert holland #harry holland smut #harry holland imagine #harry holland fluff #harry holland x y/n #harry holland angst #dad harry

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authoressofdarkness · 3 years

Note

I saw that you're taking prompts, from the dialogue list. Can I get number 20? “I’ve never had someone taking care of me before.” for starker obviously. I'm excited, I love reading your works. Thank you in advance!

Hi anon! That means so much to me and I’m v glad to be taking this as my first prompt. Thank you 💙

I kinda want to try some new things with some of these prompts, so I’m gonna go at this with omega Tony and alpha Peter and see where it goes. I hope that’s okay with you anon and that everyone likes it 😘

Same age college AU, omegaverse, alpha Peter Parker, omega Tony Stark, some angst and some fluff at the end.

—

It’s a well known fact that Tony Stark has a shitty family.

Well, at least to anyone who knows him, it is. They know how he’ll do anything to not be at home when his father is around, to get out of the endless pressures of social events and promotional things and questions of mating and management and all of the things that he hated about being born an omega and being attached to the last name Stark to top it all off—

For years, it was just him. Some flings, mainly to piss his father off, but he never had his attention for longer than the time it took to scold him or order him around, and his mother was never much help, either. He had precious few friends growing up, never really made any real ones until college when he met Rhodey and Pepper — an alpha and a beta respectively that helped him manage things there and that were the first people to truly understand the depths of struggles he had going on at home.

And they were great friends, still are, but there was never anything more there between them. They helped him float through the first year of school, and then—

And then came Peter Parker.

Tony doesn’t hate all alphas on principle, although he is often rather tempted to try to, what with how they were shoved in his face most of his life. They were great for a good fling but most of them were meatheads. As horny as Tony was, he couldn’t allow just anyone to be close to him, nothing too get to serious, because he’s got a lot of responsibility coming down to him and he needs the right partner — alpha or otherwise — to be willing to deal with that. Not that he’s particularly interested in mating right now but he also isn’t going to allow someone close enough to potentially mark him knowing the repercussions of that.

He’s the heir to Stark Industries, sure, but he’s still an omega. An alpha will have significant legal power over him once they’re mated. And he wants to be the one to run SI, to take on his legacy, to build, to create, and to run his business, and he’s not going to let anyone stop him, even if that means flings forever.

(Not that that’s legally going to fly because he can’t take over until he’s considered qualified which implies a certain amount of stability that translates into having an alpha that’s more than just a fuck buddy but—)

It doesn’t matter. None of it matters after he meets Peter.

Peter is a year younger than him in school, technically, but biologically they’re the same age. Peter just started a bit later than most — and for good reasons, as Tony comes to find out.

He’s in one of Tony’s engineering classes and his organic chemistry class and the omega would be lying if he said he wasn’t immediately taken with him.

He can’t help it. Peter is cute, with his overgrown curls and slim form and silky skin and shy little smile and—

The other man is all alpha, there’s no doubt about it. He exudes it without even trying, but there’s a shyness to him, too. He’s not a meathead; he’s a sweetheart. From day one he’s respectful of Tony in class, kind when he sees him around campus, and that makes them the perfect lab partners in chemistry, and after knowing that, it’s just the natural choice for them to partner for the project in engineering and then—

Then things spiral, and Tony doesn’t even care.

He’s seeking the alpha’s attention, and Peter, the innocent, shy thing he is, is happy to give, to dote on Tony in ways that he would resist if they were coming from anyone else.

They’re not even fucking, but it’s intimate, so intimate that he can’t even explain it, and he loves it, scarily so. It both soothes and sets all his instincts on edge at the same time.

By mid semester they both have keys to come and go freely from each other’s rooms. It’s more common to see them together than it is to ever spot one of them out alone. The whole school probably thinks they’re a couple, and even though they’ve never made it official — and he’s never allowed himself to even come close to considering it before — Tony can’t bring himself to mind.

As midterms approach, though, Tony locks himself in to focus on his work. He doesn’t mean to, really; it’s just that hours studying slip into full nights and then he hasn’t eaten and he hasn’t left the room, even missing one of his classes because he doesn’t realize the time.

Peter hasn’t come by in days and except for the occasional check in text, Tony hasn’t heard from him, either. But they’re both busy with midterms so he really isn’t surprised. In fact he barely has time to eat, let alone check his phone, so even if he was texting him regularly Tony probably wouldn’t be answering.

Except mid terms or no, of course Peter notices when Tony misses class. And when his texts go unanswered by the absorbed omega, he doesn’t hesitate to show up and let himself in.

Tony doesn’t even realize anyone is there until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He jumps so hard he nearly knocks the chair back, and when he turns around he sees Peter, stepping back and holding his hands up in the universal “I surrender” gesture, clearly not having meant to startle him.

“I’m sorry, I knocked but you didn’t answer so I let myself in. I just— you weren’t in class, and I was worried… are you okay? When was the last time you ate?” It takes all of two seconds for Peter’s sheepishness to melt into concern, and he steps forward again, closing the distance between them to tilt Tony’s chin up, looking at the shadow stretching across his jaw where he hasn’t shaved in a few days. “You’ve lost weight,” he murmurs, thumb brushing over Tony’s cheekbone tenderly — which, yeah, is definitely more prominent than it was at the beginning of the week.

Tony’s eyes flutter and he leans into the touch for a moment before refocusing and shaking it off. “I’m fine. This is normal, Peter. I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” Peter raises an eyebrow. “Do you even know what day it is?”

“It’s Saturday—“

“It’s Monday, Tony. 1pm on Monday, at that. You missed engineering this morning and you haven’t answered my texts all weekend.” Surprise flits across Tony’s face at that, because — yeah, last time he checked it was Saturday, and he had no new texts from Peter, so— “When was the last time you ate?” Peter continues to prod, voice gentle but insistent.

Both aspects only serve to spark irritation in him, though. Tony bats Peter’s hand away from his face, frowning. He doesn’t need to be treated with kid gloves. “I ate a little while ago. I’m fine.”

“You don’t even know what day it is—“

“It all kind of blurs together when you’re not doing anything besides working, okay—“

“Two days is a lot of blur, Tony—“

“And just because I need a shave doesn’t mean I haven’t left my desk or that this isn’t totally normal for midterms—“

“You’re the one saying you haven’t left your desk, not me—“

“That’s not what I meant! I’m just saying—“

“I’m just saying you need to take a short break, it’s not that big of a deal—“

“I don’t need a break, I know my limits—“

“Tony, I really don’t think—“

“Jesus fucking— You’re not my alpha, Parker, would you fuck off?”

The words come out before he can stop them, and he flinched himself at the hurt on Peter’s face, the way the alpha physically recoils, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I’m not— god, I know that, okay? I’m just trying to help you, Tony. Please, this isn’t sustainable. You need to eat. Just— let me find you something, and then I’ll leave, okay?”

Leave? No, he doesn’t want him to leave. But the only thing that comes out is a quiet “whatever,” and he watches Peter escape to the kitchen with a ball of guilt growing in his chest.

Peter is just trying to help. He likes Peter and he doesn’t want him to leave, he just— he panics, and then he snaps.

Because what if Peter wants more? What if he really likes him? And Tony is a fuck up that does shit like this when he feels emotions and has so much baggage attached to being with him and—

And Peter knows that, at least some of it. It’s been a few months of seeing each other nearly every day, now, and his family situation was never a secret.

So why is he still here? Oh god, did Tony just ruin it?

The thought, for reasons that he’s refusing to immediately think about, is almost too much to bear. He stands up, fumbling his way out of the chair and into the kitchen.

The smell hits him almost as soon as he enters, and he sucks in a deep breath. His traitorous stomach growls, loud and demanding.

Soup bubbles on the stove as Peter works at the counter, chopping up some fruits and vegetables. He’s already managed to put a few little storage containers of food together for him, and something in Tony’s gut feels warm at the sight. But it also drops — preparing premade meals most certainly means that Peter isn’t intending to come back.

He looks up when Tony enters, expression wary. “The soup was the quickest thing you had, and since I had to be here for as long as it takes to boil anyway I thought I would just—“

“Peter.” His own voice sounds remarkable calm for how shaky he suddenly feels, lurching towards the alpha at the countertop. “It’s okay. I… thank you, for this. I’m sorry.”

Peter looks taken aback by the apology. “Tony, you don’t have to apologize. You’re right; I’m not your alpha and it’s not my place to give you orders. I just… I care about you, okay? I just want to help. I know you don’t think about me that way, and I’m sorry I overstepped, but—“

“You’re wrong.”

“What?” The words draw Peter up short.

Tony takes a breath, looking down. He focuses on the alpha’s hands, watching him chop instead of looking at his face. It’s easier. “You’re wrong. It’s not that I don’t think of you that way. The problem is… that I do. And I… I’m not used to this. I’ve never had someone take care of me before. Not really, not in any way that mattered. And what I feel for you… it scares me.” He takes a little breath again, looking down at his own hands. “I want you to be my alpha, Peter. But I’m not really a good omega, and I just have so much shit that comes along with being with me. The thought of asking you to do that… what that could do to us… I just don’t think I could handle that.”

He hears the knife ting against the countertop as Peter sets it down, and the pitter patter of footsteps as the alpha crosses the room. He’s suddenly being drawn into a pair of lanky but surprisingly strong arms, surrounded by the musky, relaxing scent of alpha, and he practically melts into it, nestling his nose into the spot between the collar of Peter’s sweatshirt and his throat almost automatically.

Peter’s hand running up and down his back is soothing, relaxing him the rest of the way, and the press of the alpha’s chin against his head is just the perfect weight to be comfortable, reassuring.

“Tony… I’m not an idiot,” he says gently. “I know who you are. What you’ve done, where you came from, what’s expected of you — and yeah, I’m sure there’s more that you haven’t told me and that’s not public, but— I get why this is a struggle for you, and why you feel the need to put so much pressure on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you for that and it is most definitely not your own fault that you’re not used to being taken care of. And you’ve no idea how badly or how long I’ve wanted to be your alpha.” He pulls back a little to look down at him, fingers scratching Tony’s scalp gently as he works his fingers through his hair. “But that doesn’t mean that this kind of behavior — towards yourself or others — is good or acceptable. It’s okay to let me take care of you — at least in small ways. I know you’re scared of losing your independence, but that’s not what I want for you, either. I just want to help.”

“Help,” Tony echoes, eyes drifting to the pan on the stove and then back to Peter. “I… I think I’d like that.” He bites his lip, looking up at him. They’re about the same size and height, but this close, wrapped in the alpha’s arms and scent, with his steady gaze on him, he can’t help but feel small by comparison. “You really want to be my alpha?”

“Only if you want me to be, but…” Peter looks down at him and cracks his shy little smile. “I’d like to try, if you’d let me.”

“I’d like that,” Tony admits. He shifts to press up against him, putting a hand on his chest. “I’d also really like it if you’d kiss me.”

Peter looks a little surprised, but not unpleasantly. Still, he shakes his head, giving him a little push back. “Tony, you didn’t even know what day it was. God knows when the last time you brushed your teeth is. No offense, but… ew.”

Tony just laughs a little, unable to help himself. “If I brush my teeth…?”

“Maybe. If you eat your food as well.” Peter moves back to the counter, finishing up the container he was working on. “We can’t be doing anything that’s going to burn you extra calories when you don’t have enough to begin with, hm?”

Tony finds himself grinning. “That’s an argument I can get behind. Literally and metaphorically.”

Peter flashes a grin in return, voice back to that gentle but insistent tone that he knows so well when he says, “Go, Tony.”

And for once, Tony is all too happy to obey.

#starker #ironspider #peter parker x tony stark #tony stark x peter parker #prompting #my prompts #my writing #kris talks #kris answers #omega tony stark #alpha peter parker #starker omegaverse #fluff

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centralsaints · 3 years

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mcl headcanon masterpost pt.1 - armin

let's start this off with my long term favourites; the twins. this is armin's part, and alexy is next!

will start this with his full name being armin frederic lemaire

if you name a joint, he has probably dislocated it at least once in his life. he’s always been hypermobile, having chronic pain (mistaken as growing pains) and fatigue, being prone to dislocation. that later becomes a diagnosis of hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome.

that makes him also prone to getting migraines and headaches regularly, explaining the whole hating bright lights thing

he has had an eating disorder on and off since he was about 15; partly diagnosed, he meets the criteria for OSFED, so his ed is a bit. weird and all over the place. it’s mostly periods of restriction with a fear/disgust of food, followed by periods of binging and eating more or less normally. he’s closer to atypical bulimia, in terms of specifics, because the binge/purge episodes aren’t that frequent. he went inpatient once, and still jokes about how he was the only guy there. only his family knows about his eating issues as of now.

another thing about the ed is that it was already kind of in the making when alexy had his unaliving attempt, but that was really what kickstarted it all.

around UL, with nathaniel going absolutely off the fucking rails, armin and amber struck an odd friendship. they both could clock the other on their fucked up eating issues, but neither said anything for a long time, until amber did. they agreed to try and recover together.

his favourite pokemon type is ghost (thank you anon, idk anything about pokemon but i wanted to include this)

he plays animal crossing with kentin (who doesn’t like admitting that he plays it because it’s very relaxing for him) and jade.

he’s a gemini sun, cancer rising, libra moon, same as alexy.

he has add (adhd inattentive type) and his most common stims are bouncing his leg and chewing his pens. his object permanence is also absolute shit, if its out of sight, it doesn’t exist.

he doesn’t untie his shoes when taking them off or putting them on, and has ruined many perfectly good pairs of shoes that way.

he has made tik toks starring rocket the ferret

his playlists are lo-fi music, video games and movie soundtracks, and like. twenty one pilot.

his nose is crooked from when he broke it around 11 years old

he also bruises really easily (mostly due to his EDS) and his legs are always covered in various bruises. he’s also very clumsy, which doesn’t help

he doesn’t like alcohol; he doesn’t like the taste, the way it makes him feel and the aftermath; it doesn’t take much to affect him and he’ll sleep for an entire day. but he’ll sometimes drink in social situation just to not feel left out.

he’s bisexual. the less obvious stuff; what’s his type?? I know having a “type” isn't really a thing and u like who u like. with that said i think hed like slightly androgynous looking girls (soft spot for shaved heads. its soft;;), girls who are very very feminine but in an out of the ordinary way (think lolita, hyper pop fem vibe, goth girls in corsets, etc), guys who work out (he has a weakness for back muscles), in general people who stand out in a crowd be it with their appearance, style or their attitude

no i still have absolutely no idea how he would come out. i think he probably didn’t. he just started talking about it naturally, because it wasn’t a big deal. i think one day, either his mom or alexy made jokes about oh, when would he finally take this one cute girl on a date, and he just said, or maybe it’ll be a boy. it just happened like that

ref post for his fashion sense

he can do a killer winged liner. look, man’s into cosplay, of course he can.

he’s played mystic messenger ironically at first and then ended up actually liking it

he actually can draw, because he spent all middle school drawing anime characters in all his notebooks

he always sits kind of awkwardly (proof is the episode 12 illustration lmao) because 1. bi people can’t sit right (source: me) and 2. he’s just. really lanky and has long limbs and doesn’t really know what to do with all of it

this one is from an anon last year: “I have this weird hc about the twins. Alexy sleeps with like a million pillows and blankets , while Armin tries to sleep with pillows but throws it out every time even though he's asleep.” and i love it. he also probably sleep in very weird positions which leads to him waking up hurting a lot of the time

he also has a weighted blanket that he and alexy kind of just. get turns using when they both still live at their parents house. it helps armin’s pain, and alexy’s overstimulation issues. when they leave, armin gets the weighted blanket

armin has a dimple on his right cheek when he smiles

he helped alexy dye his hair until they moved out and started living separately

he has his driving license, but alexy doesn’t

he’s scared of dogs (he probably met demon at one point bc i like him and cas being friends, and he was so nervous about it, poor boy

he likes taking ice cold shower in the evening because the cold water and then sinking in a warm bed make him sleepy and actually helps him fall asleep

he probably played dnd at one point

he smokes ouid occasionally, at first it was recreational, but it kind of helped with his joint pain so

i think this is all of them? i might be missing a few ones i never wrote out or that are buried in my files but i honestly don't feel like going through the dozen unfinished fics and compilation documents that mention armin in my drive or i would still be here next year

#my candy love #mcl #mcl armin #long post #mcl headcanon

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huihuiheart · 4 years

Text

Kinktober D15: Yes Sir - Mafia! Changkyun

Pairing: Mafia Boss! Changkyun x f! Reader

The reader works for him, but not really in regards to heavy mafia business. She manages the bar part of his front and takes care of clients in the illegal card games in the back, that’s it.

Warnings: Mafia themes, thigh riding, dom + sub themes, sir kink, mentions of alcohol, mentions of gambling/poker games, praise kink, cursing, a little manhandling, dirty talk, implied sex.

Word Count: 1,804

Tag list: @hyunsungcore

Most people would hate working for Changkyun, especially with the reputation he had. You, however, didn’t mind one bit. He barely had you doing anything illegal, and even what you did do was just getting his players drinks and such while they played. Changkyun mostly lets you handle the entirely legal aspects of his business, not wanting you at risk. He also trusted you, though, which is how you came to know about the business that he ran behind the scenes of the bar you kept functioning. You being one of the few girls he trusted to serve the games, the only one when it came to some more high profile individuals. Changkyun was more than fair to you, though. He paid you generously, giving you a business card for whatever the bar or games might need to be purchased to keep well maintained. He also ensured your protection, walking you to your car at the very least every evening, having given you a simple silver drop necklace with an emerald on it. He had told you to wear it everywhere as a sign that you are one of his so that no one would mess with you. It seemed to hold true too, the symbol must have mixed enough with your clueless aura towards mafia things to never have been bothered at all.

What you didn’t realize is what his gift to you actually meant. Changkyun had an arrangement with a couple of other mafias that their family who wasn’t a part of the mafia would be left out of trouble and wars, offered protection by all of them. Changkyun’s marker for those people to him was an emerald. The only thing was, you were the only person Changkyun had given something to for protection. He had no family left, and anyone whom he was close to was in the mafia with him. A group that you were more than familiar with as well. The group regularly meets on Monday evenings when no one else would come to the card tables and discuss things both in life and in mafia happenings, a weekly meeting, and socializing all in one. This one of the times when Changkyun only trusted you in that separate room.

“Good evening guys, I’ve got everyone’s usual.” You announce making your way around the table to hand out various drinks to each of their perspective recipients, ending as usual with Changkyun, “You all know what to do if you need anything else, yes?”

You’re nearly satisfied with yourself at the cheer and glass raise you get from most of the men who are now invested once again in the cards being dealt for this round. Until Changkyun gently grabs your wrist and motions you to lean in for him to whisper. Changkyun didn’t often if ever have an issue with you, so this wasn’t something you were used to from him. That being said, you wanted to have both his approval and attention for more reasons than you’d openly admit.

“Y/N, I want you to bring me the paperwork for the bar for the past year, please. We’re discussing some things, and I want to ensure that we have everything correct. Can you do that for me, doll?” The way he purrs out the term doll while his hot breath ticks against your ear and neck nearly brings you to your knees, but you keep it together in front of all of them, giving a curt nod.

“Yes, sir.” You simply say before scurrying towards the exit as quickly as possible without seeming suspicious, not having any clue that every time you called him sir, he had the same problem brewing inside him as you did when he calls you doll. Diligently you bring him the records he’d inquired about, not concerned in the least that he’d find fault in anything you’d done knowing you ran it without issue and always informed him of major things before just going ahead yourself. His legitimate business had profited a lot since you took over running it, if anything he just needed the details for comparison purposes, you were sure. Continuing to fulfill your duties of keeping the bar running and the men playing cards satisfied, you had no qualms at all. Until after the bar closed when you found Changkyun waiting in the back for you alone looking over the files, placing his drink down with a soft clank, as his eyes met yours when you entered the room.

He unbuttoned and rolled up the sleeves of his crisp button-down before leaning back in his seat and motioning you over while undoing a few of the buttons covering his chest, just enough to give a tease, “Come here doll. We need to talk.”

Your eyes widen, gulping a little at this darker side of Changkyun as your nerves tick up a few notches, making your way over, “Is something wrong, sir?”

“Yes, but it’s nothing you’ve done. Have a seat doll.” Changkyun taps his thigh as if inviting you to sit on his lap, causing your throat to try up as you blink at him.

“O-On your lap, sir?” Your question comes out shakier than you intended, and Changkyun chuckles at how flustered you are.

“Yes, on my lap. We’ll be looking at files together, so it’d be easier that way, don’t you think?” Changkyun’s lazy smirk is smug, but it has the fire you’ve been trying to quench all night flaring up hotter than before. Yet, you didn’t argue, not when you might not get another chance to feel his body pressed so closely against yours, even if you both were fully clothed. Changkyun’s arms slipping around your waist and pulling your back flush to his chest as he brings the files up to rest on your lap.

“The boys were more than impressed with your work doll, they praised it even. You see...we have a couple of legitimate businesses to hide what we do, but yours is the one that runs smoothly. Never gives us any trouble. In fact, you do so well that we actually legitimately profit, whereas the others try to suck us dry and skim money from us. Which is why I’ve decided to offer you something...well a couple of things.” Changkyun explains showing you the numbers that compare the bar you ran versus their other fronts.

“Let me guess...you want me to run the legitimate businesses for you too?” You predict already spotting numerous problems that would need fixing just based on the numbers alone.

Changkyun hums against your neck, breath brushing right against it as his thumbs start to rub circles into your hips where he’s gripping them, “ Exactly, we were thinking just giving you one at a time, and once you smooth that one out we’ll add another and so on. Though there is another thing.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you can’t think of what else there could be, “What is that exactly sir?”

“I want you to be my queen. I’ve thought so for a while but seeing just how hard you work only further proves to me that you’re who I want. I’ll keep you out of the mafia side of things of course, but I want to be able to treat you like you deserve....even if you don’t want to be that for me...at least let me reward you for being so good for me doll.” Changkyun’s words are slightly muffled against your skin as he trails kisses down your neck, hands slipping up to grip and roam your sides, showing exactly what he wanted.

“Reward me then sir, however, you’d like.” You sigh softly, already melting into his touch, only for him to toss the files aside and make you stand. Though you soon understand why as he makes quick work of your clothes, before moving you to straddle his thigh, facing him this time.

“Well, maybe I saw wrong, but I think you might just have a thing for my thighs with how often you stare, doll. So why don’t you do whatever you’ve imagined on them, hm?” The certain, cocky look on Changkyun’s face shows that he knows for a fact, he wasn’t wrong and that you did indeed love his thighs.

“Yes, sir.” You purr seductively, licking your lips and slowly starting to rut against his clothed thigh, mewling whenever he’d flex it beneath you as your nimble fingers worked to undo the remaining buttons on his shirt and expose his chest to you. His hands roaming and groping at the skin as you start to work your hips faster, his hands gripping your ass and making you grind harder against his thigh, rubbing more and more delicious friction against your clit, and leaving more of your slick against his dark jeans with each drag of your hips.

“F-Fuck look how out of breath you already are, doll. You look like the prettiest little thing getting off on my thigh like this, make it messy. I’ll reward you like this whenever you want, you just have to ask, doll.” Changkyun’s words have you mewling, back arching, and drawing his attention to your breasts, where he sucks one of your nipples into his mouth, pulling back with it between his teeth and making you more desperate. Changkyun chuckles darkly, noticing how needy you’re getting, and bounces his thigh, groaning against your skin where he’s suckling on your breasts each time your thigh rubs up against his bulge. Your thighs tremble as your high approaches, letting Changkyun take control over your actions rutting against his thigh, only able to give in and moan for him.

“S-Sir I’m so close, I-I’m gonna cum. P-Please.”

“Such a good girl, knowing to ask for permission first. Cum for me then doll. This is a reward, after all, cum all you want for me until my pants are ruined because of your mess.” Changkyun gives you all you need to hear to release a shrill cry and spill onto his thigh as your high pulses through your body. You pant softly, as you come down from your high, Changkyun peppering kisses over your shoulders and collarbones.

“You did so well for me, doll. Did amazing cumming all over my thigh like a good girl. Making it all sticky and wet with your juices.” Changkyun praises softly before pulling back and raising a brow at you in question, as you work on undoing his pants for him.

“I think it’s time for you to make me your queen now, Sir.” You give him the same smirk he’s been giving you all night as you give him a true answer to his earlier invitation as well as move to get what you both truly wanted.

“Fuck doll. I thought you’d never ask.”

#kinktober #monsta x smut #monsta x oneshot #changkyun smut #changkyun oneshot

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billiedeanhwrd · 3 years

Text

when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air

cordelia goode x fem!reader

summary: your depression is hitting you harder than most days, cordelia comforts you 🤍

warnings: depression, slight mention of childhood trauma, it's angsty mental health fluff basically

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is my first ever fanfic and i'm very very nervous about it, so pls don't be too harsh, constructive criticism is very much welcome though!! also i'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. i also have to add that this was very much self indulgent and based on my own experience with depression, so if you don't relate, that's fine, everyone experiences it differently. I hope you enjoy it tho, have fun reading <3

today was one of those days again. one of those days where everything seemed grey and pointless. one of those days where taking a shower was too exhausting. one of those days where it didn't matter if you left your clothes on the floor or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. one of those days where you isolated yourself. one of those days that seemed to return to you every morning for almost 3 weeks now.

you had been struggling with depression for years now and attending therapy regularly still didn't take away from the embarrassment you felt about your illness. cordelia didn't know, you didn't want to burden her with your subjectively "silly" problems. It wasn't easy hiding something so life consuming from your lover, but whenever you were with her you felt as though you could reach for the stars and there was no point in ruining happy moments with sad stories.

Whenever you felt really depressed and unable to function, you isolated yourself. Cordelia and you had been together for 7 months now and the first time she thought she had done something wrong which had resulted in you needing space from her, but when she confronted you, you reassured her that sometimes you needed some time to yourself because you were a more introverted person. While that might be true, you wanted nothing more than for her to take you into her arms and tell you everything was going to be okay again, but the fear of possibly burdening the already very busy supreme held you back from confessing what was weighing you down.

you were used to this already, you always kept your darkness to yourself, too afraid of being too much or being abandoned by your loved ones, while the rational side of you knew that the people in your life who truly meant something to you would never abandon you because of your chronic depression, anxiety left no room for rationality.

you were always feeling kind of down, but some days it was easier to cope and enjoy your day despite that... and then there were those phases where you felt unusually down, those phases that caused you to isolate yourself and wait for the storm to pass in solitude. They usually lasted only a few days or maximum a week, but this one had been going on for much longer. cordelia was worried, you had never needed so much "alone time to recharge your social battery", but she didn't want to overstep your boundaries and possibly push you away, because what you weren't aware of was that cordelia too struggled with abandonment issues and fearing she would be "too much" (which she could never be for you, you adored every single second you could spend in the blonde witch's presence).

After leaving multiple text messages and trying to call you, only to be greeted by your voicemail, cordelia took it upon herself to see what was going on with you. The knocking on your door would've usually startled you, but you had just ordered a pizza, too tired to prepare a meal yourself and assumed the delivery was faster than they had stated on their website. your jaw fell open and the door was quickly closed again, shit shit shit, what am i supposed to do now? the place looks like a mess, i can't let cordelia se-

"y/n can you open the door please?" she asked in her gentle voice. "Uh, yeah, give me a second" you replied, hastily throwing on a hoodie that had been lying around on your couch, coincidentally that hoodie being one you stole from cordelia a few weeks ago, something that made your girlfriend's heart warm up a little and relieve her of some of the worried thoughts she had that this might be your way of signaling to her that you no longer wished to be in a relationship with her.

"can we talk? i haven't seen you in three weeks and you haven't answered any of my texts... what's going on? you know you can talk to me about anything..."

"uhm, yes, of course. sit down, make yourself at home, would you like anything to drink?"

"no, thank you, i just want to talk to you"

you didn't have the energy to lie to the woman who held your heart in her hands anymore, you were terrified of her reaction, not only to you being mentally ill but also to you hiding it for so long.

"i'm so sorry delia, please don't be mad", you anxiously stuttered out. cordelia grabbed your hand and smiled reassuringly, signaling for you to continue talking.

"I didn't tell you before because i know you've already got so much going on with the academy and i didn't want to pile onto that with my irrelevant issues... I was diagnosed with depression amongst other things a few years ago, it's something i have to deal with every day and some days are easier than others, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me and i feel like i'm lost in an ocean of a sadness so powerful, i can feel the pain on my body. I know it can be challenging to be close to someone with severe mental issues and I understand if you don't want to continue being with me, i would never want you to stay with me because you pity me or because you're afraid i'd do something to myself if you'd left, you're not responsible for my feelings or actions and i would never want to impose you with such a burden and-"

you stopped rambling when you noticed the tears flowing down cordelia's cheeks.

your eyes widened and your heart started pounding rapidly in your chest. "i'm sorry, was that too much?"

"no, no, no, no, no... it just pains me to know that you've been dealing with this on your own for such a long time because you don't value yourself enough to believe that other people might want to support you through your everyday battles. y/n, i know you, you're the girl who's always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, anytime, anyplace, you always go out of your way to make others feel seen and accepted, why would you ever think that you don't deserve the kindness you so openly give to others?"

now it was you who was crying, cordelia was right, you didn't value yourself enough to believe that. you didn't actively think of yourself as less than others but that thought always unconsciously motivated the way you dealt with the things that were bothering you.

cordelia patted her lap, signaling for you to sit on her lap and come into her arms. you hesitated though, you weren't used to being so vulnerable and open with your emotions and it scared the shit out of you. you feared cordelia was possibly annoyed at you and was only doing this to get it over with and then get out. she watched you, while you were anxiously deciding what your next move would be, her heart broke for you, you looked like a scared baby dear when all she wanted to do was to comfort you.

"baby, look at me"

her chocolate colored eyes were so full of love, simply looking into them managed to get your heart rate down.

"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for talking about your feelings and all i want to do right now is to hug some of your pain away, so please, let me hold you"

you melted at her gentle words and understanding nature, cordelia was an incredibly smart woman, who went through traumatic things herself and even from that little information you shared, she understood you. she saw her younger self in you, so incredibly lonely but oh, so scared of being vulnerable with another person, due to the emotional abuse her mother subjected her to, and while she might not have gone through the same things you did, she felt like she understood your feelings in this exact moment and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe with her.

you slowly crawled into her lap, still afraid this was all a trick to hurt you, but when she started combing through your hair and reassuringly whispering "i've got you" and "you're here with me, i promise you, you're safe", you relaxed into her arms.

after about half an hour of laying there with each other, calming down and enjoying the other one's warmth, you spoke up.

"delia?"

"yes, my love?"

"so you're not leaving me?", you hesitantly asked.

cordelia sat up and looked straight in your eyes while asking "would you leave someone you love because they're depressed?"

"no, never"

"then tell me, sweetheart, why would i leave you?"

her response left you speechless, you almost missed her confessing her love. "you love me?"

she hugged you tight and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "more than anything, and please, never worry about telling me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, no matter what it is, i wanna know, okay?"

you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding and confidently replied "okay"

a few minutes passed before you spoke up again when you remembered you didn't say those 3 special words back.

"i love you too, by the way"

cordelia smiled lovingly and stood up to reach out for your hand and pull you up. "i know, now let's go to bed, we can clean up this place tomorrow"

you accepted her helping hand and engulfed her in a hug. the way she so naturally used the word "we" and didn't seem to mind helping you clean up your mess of an apartment made you more emotional than you'd like to admit.

And while you knew this would not be the last time you were overwhelmed by your depression, you now knew that you could count on the woman who loved you to stand by your side and help you get through even your hardest day.

#cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode #cordelia foxx #cordelia x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #ahs coven #ahs apocalypse #tw depression #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #american horror story #ahs fanfiction #ahs fandom #ahsfx #ahs imagine #cordelia goode imagine #fanfiction

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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

Text

survey #096

(taken january 1st; uploading surveys taken while gone)

What is the best part of your life? I don't like that this is my answer, but Girt. Still working on my favorite part of my life being just myself and who I am and stuff...

Do you care about gun laws? I care VERY fucking much about gun laws and how fucking necessary it is to make firearms SO much less accessible.

Would you ever consider getting a facial piercing? I've had multiple and want to get my nostril re-pierced. Possibly some around my eye area IF I ever don't need glasses at some point in the future, but this is insanely unlikely because I hate contacts and don't care enough to get lasik surgery.

Do you listen to '80s metal? Haha hell yeah, '80s metal has a special place in my heart. I'm not as into classic rock/metal as I was in high school, but I absolutely still do love it and will happily listen to it.

Do you like acoustic or electric guitar better? Electric, absolutely. I just LOVE the sound of an electric guitar, mmf.

What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh.

Have you taken a painkiller today? Yes actually, I've been having tooth pain since my dentist appointment a good few days back and eventually really needed something.

Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? Nope, I hate coffee and I hate anything pumpkin-flavored.

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, do you think it will last? Yes, and complete, total honesty, yes, I do.

Have you ever been camping in the wilderness? No. I'd be totally willing to in an RV or something, but not a basic tent; I'd honestly be too nervous and also I know EXTREMELY uncomfortable, I don't handle being down on the floor well *at all* with my current physical shape.

Did your parents go to college? If so, what did they study? My dad didn't; I actually don't think he even finished high school? Mom did, for social work, but of course her cancer and Covid stopped her from getting a chance to intern somewhere and eventually get a job, even though she got her degree... That remains such, such a sore spot for her, and it breaks my heart. I just can't imagine being so close to what you wanted and then circumstances outside your control just ruin it.

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Haha honestly probably the original Silent Hill. The first time I played it with Jason, it twisted my mind into fuckin knots and it took a loooot of online reading and video-watching to make sense of it. I was hooked immediately.

Would you pay if your dog needed an operation? In the hypothetical situation that I had the money to save Cookie, of course I would. My mom loves her so much.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a grocery store? A big container of literal fursuit heads lmfao, Wal-Mart is a lawless wasteland

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? No.

What states have you been to in the past year? I never left NC.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No, but it's a dream to rescue and raise an opossum one day.

Who did you last talk to in Facebook chat? Girt, very briefly. He just sent me a video.

What do you think of guys wearing colored skinny jeans? Guys, and everyone else, can wear whatever the fuck they want.

Would you ever get blonde highlights? Nah.

Will you go to your high school reunion? Hell no.

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? Well for the most part my mom has been very accepting of letting me adopt the pets I want so long as it's a reasonable time and we can provide for it, but there's one type of pet I've desperately wanted for multiple years now, tarantulas, but she absolutely refuses to let me have any while I live with her, lol.

Have you ever been in a hospital and not felt safe? Yup, most strongly the last time I was at the psych hospital. There was a man that regularly acted EXTREMELY predatory and I could not fucking believe how lenient the staff was at just letting him do his creepy fucking thing. I finally snapped the last day I was there because of this guy and sincerely feared I was about to be assaulted.

What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I have no idea; I have fevers so incredibly rarely.

One thing you promised yourself you’d never do and then did? Be able to love anybody again after Jason. I was so, so, so fucking positive that it was absolutely impossible.

Have you ever had to call 911? Twice for my mom, yes. I feel like I may be forgetting a third instance...

Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? To be honest I don't know many of his current friends; we had a lot of mutual friends in HS, but both of us have really drifted away from them. His best friend Taylor currently lives with him, whom I've met before and gotten on with fine, but we don't really interact much; even at Girt's house, he has his own room and does his own thing in there most of the time. I've sorta interacted with some gaming friends of his before, and apparently they really like me and I think they seem nice too, so I guess you could say I do "get along" with them.

Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I try VERY hard not to, but if not going is seriously going to impact my comfort, then yes I'm going to use one.

What is something that you do often with your family? Nothing, honestly...

Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? YES!!!

Do you need a haircut? I'm ready for a trim, yes. I know I'm ready once my hair starts regularly tickling my neck.

What is the most expensive gift you have ever given someone? The promise ring I got Sara LMFAO oops, that was a terrible choice

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes, I know I have with Summer as well as once with Jason on my 16th birthday.

Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? Yes. I try to avoid killing them.

Do you like animal print things? I don't.

Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? Oh definitely not. The dog my parents had when I was born died before I was even one, I think. I have zero memories of her.

Are all your pets micro chipped? I highly doubt Crystal ever micro-chipped Cookie, seeing as she came with her collar. Roman also isn't; he wears a collar, too. Venus is a snake so obviously this doesn't apply to her. ... Unless snakes can be micro-chipped?? idk

Would you ever cope in a jail? No; full transparency, I would kill myself, and I know that with pretty much absolute certainty.

Have you ever seen an alligator in person? Yes; multiple times at the zoo and at least once in the wild, though I'm pretty much positive it was an alligator that escaped the local (and very nearby) zoo that had recently been destroyed by Hurricane Floyd.

Are you a liberal? I honestly don't know if that titles totally fits me, but I can tell you I am way, way more politically left than anywhere near right.

Were you fearless or a coward in the face of the child hunter in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? OH MY GOOOOOOOD I forgot about him, he absolutely scared me, lol.

Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I wish I was exaggerating, but I IMMEDIATELY hit a curb. In the fucking parking lot where I started, lmfao.

Have you or a pet ever gotten a tapeworm? *I* would rather fucking die than have a tapeworm; when I was younger, I was always SO paranoid I'd somehow gotten one. I've always been absolutely petrified of internal parasites. I've never had a pet with one, either. Thank fucking god because I would puke.

Do you know any furries? Yes; the roommates Jason and I housed with in the apartment were both furries. Jacob is still my friend (at least, we're on each other's FBs and will rarely interact), but he broke up with Amanda maaaaany years ago, and I never spoke to her afterwards.

Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? I rarely snore, but I know I do move a lot and absolutely steal the covers; Girt is also a blanket hog though so I'm very thankful I got a bigger comforter for Christmas, haha.

Is the lion the best character in The Wizard of Oz? I think I liked the scarecrow most.

Would you immediately look for someone right after you broke up with your bf/gf? No; it would absolutely take a lot of time to get over Girt.

Have you ever studied any new age or occult religions such as Wicca? I've researched them to some extent, yes.

Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? I am the most bottom motherfucker you will ever meet so do the math lmfao BUT I will add there is absolutely such a thing as being too aggressive to where I'm not into it.

Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? No. I only "help" my mom watch my sister's kids because she's the primary caregiver and the one who really handles things. I'm just there to engage with the kids when they want to.

Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? Well we haven't been friends for many years, but I thought Colleen's father-in-law was SUPER fucking creepy, and turns out he had gross sexual tendencies anyway.

Who did you last have over your house, and why were they there? Tobey came for dinner a few nights ago.

Recently, who in your house has gotten on your nerves the most? I only live with my mom, and we've been doing fine. She got under my skin last night, but I'm over it.

Ever kissed a friend’s crush? No.

If something was wrong who is the first girl you would go to? My mom.

What do you dislike about your smile? I feel like my eyes squint too much and I just look high.

Have you ever kissed in the snow? I don't believe I have.

Have you ever liked a football player? No. Jocks have never been my thing.

Has the last person you kissed taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? NO.

When was your first kiss? It was like a month into me being 16.

What’s your most popular post? On my old Tumblr it would pretty much definitely be the gif I made of Markiplier and his dog Chica that basically went viral in the fanbase.

Is anyone in your family over six feet tall? I'm quite positive my brother is, at least. Maybe my dad, idk.

Has anyone lost their virginity to you? No.

What improvement would be the most beneficial to your life right now? My legs recovering would probably be it. It severely affects so many areas of my life. I'm finally getting better about using the bike, though...

Have you ever merged finances with a significant other? No.

What’s the least amount you’ve weighed since reaching your full height? Uh, somewhere around 120, which I woulda fucking killed to be again for years until I semi-recently learned my very base adult weight is like 160; going below that would, for my basic body composition, be emaciation. How the hell a scale told the doctor that, I don't know, I just trust them with the explanation that the scale was thousands of dollars and just super advanced.

What were your high school’s team colors? Red and white.

Who were your best friends in high school? Jason, Hannia, Girt, Summer... I had a good number of close friends.

Have you ever been to Chicago? If yes, what do you like best about it? Once, when I visited Sara. It was just so, SO different from what I'm used to; I don't generally like cities, but visiting one briefly was nevertheless super cool. I just liked all the lights and activity, and seeing how tall the Willis Tower really is. Like even craning your neck fully back, you can't see the top.

Are you close with your cousins? Nope.

Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also no, not really.

What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Uh, probably swim if a pool was available and it was a good time of year. I liked doing a variety of things, like playing pretend, too.

Does your town have a big fountain in it? Yeah, we have a city park not far from here that has a fountain in the lake.

What’s your favorite rock band? SOBS Rammstein if that's the genre you wanna put 'em in.

Who’s your favorite country singer? I tend to like Tim McGraw songs, but I think Carrie Underwood has the best voice out of the country vocalists I've heard.

Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes; my hair was dirty blonde as a kid.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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chockfullofsecrets · 3 years

Text

Critical Role: Unnecessary

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: The thought stays with her the next time she visits Nicodranas, though, and she determines to make an experiment of it. Maybe without the shoulder bumping - she is here as an emissary, after all.

Allura's new mage friend in Wildemount seems a little lonely and very reckless. She takes it upon herself to investigate.

Wordcount: 2.3k

A/N: MORE WIZARDS

one more @ticklesofcolor event fill for @ticklishnonsense - i am starting to think that assigning us each other in this event is taking the shared braincells to a whole new level 😅 Prompt was “Allura, early in her friendship with Yussa, discovers he's very touch-starved and very ticklish, and takes advantage of this.”

---

The first time it happens, Allura is fairly sure that she’s just caused an intercontinental diplomatic incident.

She can hardly fault herself, though. There are certain instincts one develops when one regularly dines with adventurers and has the pleasure of being married to a halfling paladin who takes particular delight in tackling her every so often. Her arms are full of books, newly on loan from the only mage she’s found in Wildemount that doesn’t seem to be completely obsessed with politics, and she needs to bid her new friend farewell somehow. It seems perfectly logical to knock her shoulder lightly against his as she brightly thanks him for the pleasure of their meeting and turns to leave.

Apparently, this is not a logic that Arcanist Errenis shares.

The air itself seems to still as he stares at her. Stares some more. Then reaches up, cautiously, and presses his palm against one silk-covered shoulder as if he’s reaching for some unidentified magical artifact.

Allura winces. She can’t see any of the signifiers of elven disgust that Vex has mentioned to her, being uniquely suited to identify them, but to have such a reaction - “Oh - oh dear, I apologize. A rather uncouth habit I’ve picked up from my wife, I’m afraid.”

And she’s going to have quite a time confessing that particular sidestep to Kima later, but Errenis holds up the same hand to cut her off and lifts his chin, instantly settling into his usual placid composure with enough ease to lull her heartbeat back down to a reasonable rate. “No harm done, Arcanist Vysoren, merely… unnecessary.”

He blinks, slow as melted gold, and frowns lightly at her for a moment before turning away and gesturing sharply for a nearby tea set. “I trust that you can activate the circle yourself?”

She can, as well as take a hint - bemused, she casts without looking and steps backwards into the glowing circle, barely catching a last glimpse of him reaching for his shoulder again.

---

She tells her wife.

“Kima - Kima, darling, I’m glad you think this is funny, but it’s hardly helpful-”

Kima sighs a little, wiping a tear from her eye, and wraps her arms a little more securely around Allura’s waist where they’re lounging together. “Aw, Al, the poor thing’s just lonely! You antisocial wizards and your pretty little towers and your, what was it called? Oh, intellectual property-”

“I am perfectly social,” Allura says, prim, and promptly ruins it when she can’t help smiling at Kima as she laces their fingers together. “I certainly became acquainted quickly with you, didn’t I?”

“Oh?” Kima responds, catching Allura’s other hand in hers. Her eyes brighten in that unique combination of challenge and affection that Allura will never tire of seeing. “Is that how you remember it?”

Allura sniffs. “Well, if you’d like a refresher - mmm-”

And, well, it’s a little hard to remember anything after that.

---

The thought stays with her the next time she visits Nicodranas, though, and she determines to make an experiment of it. Maybe without the shoulder bumping - she is here as an emissary, after all.

Acquiring an adequate sample size becomes. Frustrating. He levitates everything, removing any chance to pat his hand in thanks when he offers her a cup of fragrant cardamom tea or to tap her knee against his as they pass a tome back and forth.

They are making progress, though, equally enthralled by the arcane, and it’s genuine excitement that does it in the end. A particularly difficult passage of an ancient spell untangles under their combined effort, bandying translated syllables back and forth with increasing urgency until they fall into blessed, triumphant silence, and she sweeps over and claps him between the shoulders in celebration. “Wonderful! You know, this might be quite useful for facilitating crop growth in arid land-”

He freezes under her touch in what seems like genuine shock. She pats him again and he lets out a little surprised huff, ears twitching confusedly even as his gaze remains pointed firmly ahead. It’s like blowing dust off a statue that hasn’t been touched for centuries.

Which, considering his introduction - I have been a practitioner of the arcane arts in seclusion for over 200 years, he’d told her, neither proud nor regretful - may be somewhat too close to the truth.

He sways back slightly towards her when she retreats to the other side of the room, shoulders rising and falling at a degree just shy of unpracticed. Interesting.

She does it again, and again, over the next few months - shoulders, back, arms, anywhere suitably innocuous, watching closely for any sign of annoyance. He is, after all, far older than her and perfectly capable of enforcing his own preferences. To say nothing of the way he tilts his head, when he’s deep in thought, in a way that seems so other that such petty mortal things as touch might be of no concern to him at all.

At one point, her hands are full of charcoal as they successfully cast another new spell and all she can do is smile at him. He glances over at her, implacable as always, but there’s a nearly imperceptible tightness as he turns away that she just barely knows him well enough to catch.

The next time, he brusquely commands her to put everything down before he casts. It’s sweet - nearly as sweet as the surprise on his face when she does so and completes the spell before he can.

---

There is, of course, increasingly apparent over time, Yussa’s irrepressible lack of instinct for danger. There have been fires. There have been many frantic castings of Dispel Magic. Allura starts to understand why his faithful goblin manservant is constantly twitching.

Today, she arrives in his study with a tired smile and sore fingers. “Yussa, I’m sorry - I’m afraid that I haven’t got a Dispel in me today, I’ve been Identifying a cache of arcane items all morning.”

“No matter.” Yussa waves off her raised eyebrow with a casual flick of his hand that serves the double purpose of summoning a tea set from thin air. “Tea?”

She accepts the cup. “Are you certain that we shouldn’t wait?”

“Unnecessary. Come.”

His study is as brilliant as always, cramped only in the sense that combined the artifacts lining his walls hold enough arcane power to reduce a rather large portion of the coast to rubble.

She’s a little jealous, honestly.

Yussa plucks a little beaker of gold dust up in one hand and a crisp sheet of paper in the other, beckoning her over with a brusque tilt of his chin that would be highly annoying from anyone else. “Now, there have been whispers of Kryn spies using a spell that renders objects immovable to cover their retreat on multiple occasions. I believe I’ve finally been able to recreate it, to some degree.”

“Oh!” Any lingering exhaustion forgotten, applications are already racing in her mind. “How interesting, please show me!”

He hands over the page and she scans the runes eagerly as he flicks his long sleeves back over his wrists and prepares to cast. “A little gold dust, and - it seems quite inelegant, at the moment, as if they are using some frame we have yet to find reference of, but-”

He gestures towards an empty box on his desk, sending gold dust and bright energy scattering. For a moment, there is only light.

And then, the spell shrinks back onto him, sinking into the fabric of his golden robes. Allura gapes - she has wondered, certainly, but to wear actual gold on a daily basis, especially when casting a spell that has it as a component-

Yussa stands very, very stiffly.

She presses her lips together as tightly as she can to hold back the surprised, giddy laughter brewing in the back of her throat. “You - the components-”

The sleeve of his robe looks slightly duller. The box, on the other hand, sparkles merrily under its powdering of gold dust.

Yussa sighs at her as she fails entirely to contain her amusement. “I seem to recall that you are lacking spell slots at the moment.”

She takes a deep breath, regaining her composure, and shakes her head. “Maybe I can go fetch someone-”

He grimaces instantly. “Absolutely not.”

Both of them spend a fruitless moment tugging at the robes, but it seems that Yussa has indeed managed to create a temporarily immovable object. He sighs again, after a minute, and lets his hands flap loosely against the stiff material. “Well, it’s only meant to last for an hour - I’m sure we have a Teleport spell stored somewhere around here, if you would call Wensforth-”

Allura bristles. “I can’t just leave you like this!”

“An hour passes quickly with meditation-”

“No, no, certainly we can do something.” She steps away and paces around him. “You know, your robes are quite, ah, voluminous - do you think you could squirm out, perhaps?”

Yussa sniffs in clear distaste. “I’m quite sure there’s no need.”

Really, she shouldn’t find his arrogance half as endearing as she does. “Oh come, Arcanist Errenis,” she teases, smiling despite herself, “surely you can do better than that, for a friend.” She crouches in front of him, heedless of her dress trailing onto the floor, and tries to gauge the possibility herself from what she can see through the open front of his robes - his legs, dressed in equally fine trousers, shift indignantly as she does. “Here, just bend your knees a little-”

She prods lightly at the back of one of them, hoping to spur him into action, and Yussa jumps. “Arcanist Vysoren-” he begins, and - there, almost unrecognizable for its novelty, a thread of nervousness creeps into his voice.

Allura tends more towards caution than mischief in most cases - a necessity, with the company she keeps - but she’s already grinning as she leans back a little to catch his eye. “Oh, this will be quite simple after all, I think.”

Yussa’s ears twitch up in clear, startled embarrassment as his legs attempt to press themselves to the back of his robes. “Arcanist Vysoren, I would thank you to - mmM-” She reaches for him again, sending one hand to wriggle behind the vulnerable joint and the other to scratch gently across his kneecap, and watches happily as his entire leg buckles under the attack. “Ah - haaah-”

The tremulous gasp that wrenches from him as she takes hold of his other knee to repeat the process is music to her ears - clearly, what her experiment has been needing all this time is a more direct approach. “This will be a little faster if you help,” she tells him, and crowds her fingertips up into the tender dip of flesh before he has a chance to respond.

“Vysoren-” Yussa tries, as tersely as he can with a frantic whine climbing up behind his words, and promptly cuts himself off as his other knee gives out. His robes are, in fact, made more for their drapery than their fit, and as what could graciously be called standing dissolves into ticklish squirming he’s slowly but surely sliding out of them and onto the floor. “Ihi - I can handle this from here, don’t-”

“Don’t what?” she responds innocently. The bottom of his silken shirt, neatly tucked into his waistband and glimmering even in the dim light, sinks into view. She elects to confirm its luxurious quality by prodding along the softness of his belly until he sputters and curses and drops another few inches, his indoor slippers sliding uselessly against the tiled floor. “You’ll have to offer an alternative solution - we’re a bit limited, at the moment.”

He’s laughing outright now, high and stilted and quite a bit more ticklish than she expected he might be. The way she’s kneading at his sides certainly isn’t helping. “Ahaaaaha - the damned - unnecessary - eheeh! -”

“Unnecessary,” she says, raising her voice enough that he can hopefully hear her through all the layers of fabric he’s trapped in, “would be insisting on testing a spell without taking any of the proper precautions beforehand. This, I fear, is entirely necessary, Yussa.”

And fun, besides, but there’s no need to tell him that. Besides, it seems that he shares the sentiment somewhat - she hasn’t been kicked in the face yet, and he’s hardly trying to get away from her hands, for all his grumbling. She wonders, absently, if he might allow her to do this again, the same way he’s slowly becoming accustomed to her casual friendly overtures.

He’s far too ticklish to let her wonder for long, though - it’s hardly a moment more before he squirms his way entirely free, tumbling nearly into her lap and grabbing desperately at her hands with his own elegant fingers. His face is flushed with laughter, hair falling into his eyes, and he looks like an entirely different person as he flops tiredly away from her and curls up on the floor.

It’s enough to send Allura straight back into her own startled amusement - she reaches for him, unable to help herself, and smooths a hand over his back. “Alright, alright,” she soothes, “you’re free, no harm done-”

Yussa grumbles something under his breath and twists to butt his head up against her hand instead. Allura nearly freezes in shock - and so does he, realizing, eyes wide just under the heel of her palm.

They stare. Yussa’s jaw works for a moment. “Your hand,” he says, glacially slow, “is on my head.”

“You put it there - oh, fuck it,” Allura decides, and leans forwards to drag her friend in a proper hug. “That could have been much worse, you fool. ”

Yussa stiffens and then relaxes all at once into the hug, bonelessly dropping his head onto her shoulder - he’s breathing unevenly, still, the aftereffects of laughter working their way through. “This is unnecessary, too,” he murmurs. “But I offer you my thanks, regardless.”

Chin resting atop his head, Allura smiles and plans a slight revision to her experiment.

#critical role #tickling #allura vysoren #yussa errenis #chocfic #i hear that allura is in campaign 1 and so i apologize in advance for whatever i got wrong but. wizards good.

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queerderpyturtle · 3 years

Text

some old rambles about discord and starswirl that I dug up

I been thinkin. Bout Discord and Starswirl. And how they probably knew each other. And what their relationship could've been. And what that means for the rest of their arcs in the show.

From what we know (and what I remember) Discord came into power after Starswirl and the pillars were sent to Limbo, but Celestia and Luna started ruling Equestria sometime between those two events, because they were too young to remember or care about the other pillars, but they banished Discord.

We don't know a lot about Discord's past, but I imagine that when he first came to Equestria (at which point I assume he was fairly young by draconequus standards), he wasn't exactly given a warm welcome. Ponies were probably absolutely terrified of this horse-headed, bat-winged, lion-pawed, snake-tailed freak of nature, and there's a good chance they would've driven him out of town full force. His first taste of ponykind was rejection.

So, later, he tries again. He makes himself a pony disguise-- a handsome unicorn stallion named Atlas-- and sets off to learn more about Equestria. And it works! He's able to make friends, live amongst ponies, and study Equestria magic. He actually gets pretty good at doing through his unicorn horn, so much so that he manages to get into a prestigious magic school for gifted unicorns. "Atlas" is of course still a troublemaker, though. He pulls pranks, annoys his teachers, breaks the rules, and just generally has no respect for authority. And why should he? The entire society that Equestria is built on is corrupt beyond all belief, stuck in its ways, and downright hostile towards any creature outside of it. They didn't deserve his damn respect. Equestria itself was fairly new as well, and the ponies themselves were still getting used to each other. It was all one giant powderkeg, and Atlas was honestly excited to see what would happen when it went off. So he stuck around, if only to cause more chaos in this personal playpen country of his. If he wasn't the best student in all of his classes, his teachers probably would've strangled him after a day.

And then one day, he found himself in a class with the famous Odin Starswirl, a magically gifted unicorn with a penchant for proving others wrong and keeping a clear head while doing it. He was proper, eloquent, studious, respectable-- a perfect pony for Atlas to torment. Except it turns out that Odin is ridiculously, insufferably hard to annoy. When Atlas knocked over his books, or spilled water on his cloak, or made fun of his sloppy hornwriting, Odin simply responded with a sigh and a quick cantrip to fix whatever the stallion had ruined with his antics. This did not please Atlas at all. He spent more time hanging around Odin than he did hanging out with his more troublesome buddies, just to try and get a rise out of him. But he never could. If anything, they were becoming... friends. Atlas's biting remarks turned into light-hearted jabs and playful scoldings.

"Odin, for heaven's sake, if you don't take a break from studying to shave for once in your damn life, I'm going to have to start calling you Starswirl the Bearded!"

His destruction of property turned into casual acts of kindness.

"Yes, I brought your saddlebag. I knew you'd forget it, you scatterbrain. We're lucky you even remember to eat."

His contempt for Odin's huffy nature turned into giving the unicorn an easy out for boring social events hosted by his equally uppity parents.

"C'mon, Stars, let's get out of here. I know a place nearby that sells elderberry tea."

"You know I can't leave. This is an important party."

"Important to whom, exactly, my dear?"

"To my parents!"

"Your parents. Well, last time I checked, they weren't you."

"...Fine. Thirty minutes, and then you're bringing me back."

Before long, Odin was regularly sneaking off to join Atlas and his friends on their escapades. He found himself strangely drawn to the unicorn, in spite of-- or maybe because of his rebellious and carefree nature. He was so different from the ponies Odin was used to, so sure of himself, so headstrong. Odin would be a fool to say he wasn't slowly getting attached to the scoundrel.

Atlas noticed this, of course. He was honestly surprised! Who knew a straight-edged young scholar like Odin would be so willing to stray from the path of monotony? And that was all Atlas wanted. To cause a little chaos in Odin's life. It wasn't as if there were moments in which he looked at the unicorn and considered giving up his whole scheme to enjoy a happy life alongside his... friend? Companion? Fellow associate? Lord, what even where they? Atlas had never really had a friend that was interested in any part of him other than the chaotic part, and Discord hadn't had any friends at all. He took a leap of faith one day to ask Odin if they were, in fact, friends, and Odin responded with an aloof "Yes, I do believe so." And that was that, wasn't it? He had a friend. A real friend.

Over the next few years, Odin and Atlas became inseparable. It was a thing to see, the two of them trotting down the streets of Canterlot together. They couldn't have been more different, from the way they walked to the way they spoke, but they were as close as ponies could get. Odin gave Atlas a safe place to practice magic, study Equestrian history, and discuss the library's old scrolls and texts from ancient unicorns. Atlas gave Odin an out from his mundane life as a trophy child of the wealthy Starswirl family. When Odin started tutoring two unicorn fillies with promising skills in arcane magics, Atlas was the first of Odin's friends he introduced them to (the fillies lovingly started referring to the stallions as their honorary uncles). When Atlas accidentally used too much sticking potion in a prank and stuck one of his teachers to the side of the school for three days, Odin helped him sneak into the Starswirl mansion to hide, scolding him between laughs the whole way. They each saw more in each other than the average pony could ever see; Odin was more than a prodigy, and Atlas was more than an annoyance.

And if there were, perhaps, by some miracle, some hint of... romance beneath their friendship that neither side would admit to, well. That was their own business. If they enjoyed cuddling up on the couch to read from the same book, nopony needed to know. If they relished each "accidental" brush of hooves or tails when they walked together, nopony would be any the wiser. If Odin longed for the day when Atlas would use those strong forearms of his to pin the stallion against the nearest wall and just kiss him already, and felt more alive than he'd ever felt in his life when Atlas finally did...

Then maybe that was just fine. And for a while, it was. But there was always that itch at the back of Atlas's mind, that knowledge that their relationship was fleeting, because it was all, in truth, based on a lie. If Odin found out who Atlas really was, what Atlas really was, it would all crumble to pieces like a biscuit that had been left out in the sun. Atlas... no, Discord hated that the thought of losing Odin-- a simple pony whose life was a speck of dust in his immortal existence, who would be a pile of ashes in the ground before Discord had even had his second molt-- made him so unreasonably upset. He'd known going into this that becoming invested in the lives of the ponies in Equestria was foolish. He'd never meant for it to get this far. He'd come here to futz with the government a bit, maybe start a few riots or terrorize a few queens. He never wanted to find Odin. So why wasn't he willing to let him go?

Shit, he really was in too deep.

And yet, Atlas and Odin found themselves ever-so-slowly, but ever-so-surely falling in love.

But nothing gold can stay.

Odin had always known Atlas was a bit of an anarchist. It was one of the things he admired about the stallion-- his ability to let go of the norms that Equestria had built for itself and be his own pony. The problem was that Atlas seemed to have a problem with how Equestria treated creatures who weren't ponies. Griffons, yaks, kirin, and the like. Equestria had never been a big trading country, or a big socializing-with-other-nations country. They kept to themselves. Of course, this meant that xenophobia was rampant, and that the fear of the outside world was instilled into the hearts of almost every pony there. But why should Atlas care so much?

Odin asked him as much when the two stallions were studying together in Odin's room, and Atlas became noticeably more tense. He gave Odin a simple "I just think it's wrong," hoping to avoid the subject, but Odin pressed him for more details. Sure, Equestria was problematic, but all in all, it was a good country. Was there really anything so bad about wanting to keep it the way it was? Atlas tried to keep himself from snapping, tried to keep himself from saying something he'd regret, but hearing these things from a pony he loved hurt him deeply.

"It's not about tradition or preservation, Odin. It's about the fact that Equstria has never been willing to change. Before the unifications of the species, it was conflict between the pony species. After, it was conflict between the classes. Now, it's conflict between countries. Just because the problems are external doesn't mean they aren't there," Atlas told him.

"But it isn't exactly a pressing matter. It hardly effects us at all. I guess I just don't understand," Odin replied.

"Of course you don't."

It was said so quietly that Odin couldn't quite tell if he'd been meant to hear it, yet with such venom that he couldn't ignore it. He chanced a confused look and a "What?"

Atlas stood. "Of course you don't," he repeated. "You're the perfect example of a high-class, magically advanced, want-for-nothing unicorn pony. You're perfectly content to live in your little bubble of mediocrity, never trying to do anything to change the world around you. You think there's nothing you can do to help others, so you don't even try. You think they'll sort themselves out. You're complacent, Odin. You've always been."

"Complacent! And just what is wrong with that? I'm doing my best in my own life and I have no responsibility to try and fix the lives of others! Is it so wrong to focus on myself?"

"Of course not! But you can't just pretend that you're the only one with problems! I see it every day, Odin. You act like you're on top of the world, like you're above feeling sorry for others. You don't even care about them. About me!"

Odin looked hurt. "Atlas, I-- of course I care about you! You mean everything to me!"

"And just how much would it take to change that? Telling you my real name isn't Atlas? Telling you I'm not from Equestria? Telling you I look like this?!"

In a flash, Atlas removed all the disguise spells he had on himself, leaving him-- Discord-- in his true form. A long, sleek body covered in brown fur. The misshapen head of a goat, framed by a shaggy black mane and two short horns. Wings, legs, and a tail that had all been taken from different animals, stuck together like a gruesome collage. Odin's eyes trailed up the creature's body slowly, trying and failing to comprehend what he was seeing. He began to back up.

Discord could feel each step he took like knives driving into his heart. Odin was afraid.

The draconequus scoffed. "You're all the same."

"A-Atlas, I..."

"Discord. My name is Discord. I am a draconequus from the tribe of the western Badlands, sent to Equestria to study its magic. When I first came here, I was avoided like the plague. Ponies wanted nothing to do with me. They saw what they were told to see in me-- a monster. A hideous, murderous, blood-thirsty monster. They threw me out because I was different."

Odin was silent for a long moment. When he finally spoke, his voice trembled. "I think I n-need some time to... to process all of this. Alone."

Discord couldn't have stopped the pain he felt from showing on his face if he'd somehow managed to summon all the magic on the planet. He gritted his teeth, blinked back tears, and disappeared in a shower of sparks.

It was the last conversation he would have with Odin for a millennium.

That night, Odin lay in bed, his mind racing, working overtime to try and figure out what in Tartarus had just happened. Firstly, he and Atlas had just had their first real lovers' spat. Except that those typically didn't lead to one of the ponies involved revealing that he was a creature from a faraway land, but whatever. Secondly, "Atlas" was a draconequus named Discord. That would take some getting used to, of course, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Thirdly, Atlas-- who was actually Discord-- had stormed out in a huff without saying goodbye. Well, that's just how things were sometimes. Nothing to lose sleep over.

When he awoke the next morning, the first though this mind supplied him with was, "Oh sweet merciful heavens I've ruined everything." He rushed to school early, hoping to find his friend (Boyfriend? Lover? Shit, I love him and I just cast him out like an old dish towel), but the stallion was nowhere in sight. Odin asked around, tried everything to get into contact with Atlas/Discord, but nothing came up. He had disappeared off the face of the planet.

Instead of dealing with all the emotional turmoil that came with that situation, Odin threw himself into his studies. His magic grew stronger and stronger, fueled by rage and pain and sadness. He pushed Celestia and Luna to become powerful sorcerers like himself, pouring every hour that he didn't spend practicing magic himself into teaching them. He tried to forget about Discord entirely, and move on. He didn't need some handsome bad-boy keeping him sane to be successful. He only needed himself. That was all he would ever need. Odin was gone. There was only the great and honorable Starswirl the Bearded.

When the sirens invaded Equestria, he agreed to help defeat them. When Stygian came to him looking for friendship that Starswirl hadn't even offered to the other "pillars," he turned him away coldly. When he realized the only way to defeat the Pony of Shadows was by sending the seven of them into limbo, he refused, at least at first. But the citizens of Equestria persisted. He was the great Starswirl, he had a duty to protect them and keep Equestria safe. He tried to tell them that the consequences of the spell were too drastic, but they would not listen. Starswirl had no choice but to go through with it.

Discord, meanwhile, had been staying on the outskirts of Equestria, brooding and cursing Odin's name. When he found out that Odin had vanished, however, and the circumstances of his disappearance... well, he wasn't happy. Despite everything, he still loved the idiot, and he had never wanted something so terrible to happen to him. Odin would have never agreed to something like that without being pushed by the Equestrian citizens. What right did they have to decide who lived and who died? Why did they get to sacrifice their most beloved sorcerer for their own safety when there were other options? Was this the price they paid for harmony?

That wouldn't do. That simply wouldn't do at all. If these pitiful excuses for equines thought the pony of shadows was a threat to their delicate balance, he would show them true chaos. He dethroned the country's leader, took over, and made the ponies of Equestria suffer like he did.

And then Celestia and Luna came along. When had they gotten so big? So powerful? How had they grown wings? Were they seriously going to try and take him down? Lulu and Celly, the sweet little fillies who had once made him flower crowns and taught him songs and invited him to tea parties. They were going to try and make him surrender. How adorable. He wasn't going to fight them, of course-- he still held a great affection for them, no matter how long he'd been gone. He would let them do their little song and dance, and them send them on their way.

Of course it was hard for the sisters, too. They had looked up to Discord back in the day, he and Starswirl both. Now they were using the magic that Starswirl had taught them to defeat someone he had once loved. Someone he probably still loved. But freedom is never free, and the sisters were resigned to their fate. They harnessed the power of the elements of harmony, turned Discord to stone, and hoped silently that someday, somehow, he would return to them, and he and Starswirl would find each other again.

#Mlp #mlp discord #mlp starswirl #Starswirl the bearded #mlp Fanfic #fanfic #felt like throwing this in here too

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