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absolutebl · 6 months

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This Week in BL - a shocking upset to the rankings

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 - It remains absolutely delightful. We already knew this pair does boyfriends damn near perfectly. It’s a pleasure to watch them as a couple, coupling all over our screen. The relationship does feel a bit rushed but frankly I like the pacing, it’s kind of Korean style which makes sense considering the original IP.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 1 of 10 - You know what this is? It’s FUN is what it is. I haven’t felt this way about a BL in a while. Sure is has an uneven story, fight sequences, pacing, and acting but still… yay! Billy is great, he very good at thirst. It’s a crime Lee Long Shi isn’t in this, but otherwise weeeeeeeeee!

(Also was that Bangsean I spotted?)

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - The montage of them learning and training together was so stinking cute I can hardly contain myself. Plus a little language play? (Did you catch the added “na” on to thank you? Gah! So sweet.) Have mercy. I love the banter that these two can execute so smoothly. It reminds me the most of TayNew back in their Kiss days. Or Nanon & Ohm in Bad Buddy.

There’s this breezy casualness to friendships and long-term relationships that Asian BLs seem to find really hard to execute (I’m thinking about something like Hospital Playlist as the best example). It’s more a friend chemistry than a lover chemistry, although of course it can morph into that.

Anyway, I am waffling, but I’m loving this show. (The bit with the teacher made me cry.) I also really love how much actual Bangkok we’re getting from it for a change.

Finally... how much did @respectthepetty and I love the pink milk shirt moment? SO MUCH. Color theory, plot devise, fashion, food, and a trope reference all in one. Well done GMMTV! Very well done.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 4 of 10 - I would like it if we got onto the BL section of this BL. Please and thank you.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 2 of 14 - it's delightfully trashy, btu slightly less trashy than last week because they introduced AlanJeff who are my new babies of age gap delight and you cannot have them. THEY ARE MINE. Also Way. WAY IS MINE. Also, I decided to do a trash watch.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - It’s nice. It’s fine. Atmospheric and pretty and full of deserts. What’s not to love? Is it inspired? No. Definitely has an Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). But I do love food based cinema.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 3 of 8 - What’s annoying is that this could’ve been so good. It’s a poster child for squandered potential.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - Because of the temporal paradox, and Thai BL not being all that great on narrative consistency anyway, this is a confusing piece as well as a painful one. Now Ongsa seems to be nothing more than a stalker who cries all the time.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 2 of 14(!) eps - This really feels like Thailand is trying to relive the gory days of Japan's pinks. I wasn’t into it then and I’m certainly not into it now. It’s a mess and weirdly mechanically not sexy. I’ll stay watching it but, like Only Friends, I don’t think I’m gonna warm to it. I just don’t like shows where there are no likable characters.

Also imma say it, so plug your assears. This is about as deep as a dildo can go. Which is to say, the size queens seem to be finding it more deep than the rest of us who are already bottoming out. Just make sure you're taking adequate lube prep with your psyches.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Friends Forever ep 14 of 24 - No thank you. 1/10

I've decided, for spreadsheet reasons, that each of these is going to be tracked as its own 2 part show.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 5-6 of 8 - The shopping together scene was absolutely darling. But I’m getting a little frustrated not knowing exactly what happened in the past.

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 1-2 of 10 - Of course it starts with the crash into me trope, oh Taiwan. It’s cute enough, I love the support cast, and it’s always nice to have something from my favorite tiny island on my dash.

You tell me: is it safe?

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - This one finished. It's an adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like and dnf'd) about a clerk who nearly dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. Thoughts? Is it sad? Is it meh? TELL ME!

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep one. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

I posted 20 BLs with the BEST Thirst! and decided to distinguish the different type son need in BL as follows:

Thirst wants to slide a hand under his waistband right tf now and grind.

Horny wants to rip his clothes off, and probably pop buttons and laugh about it.

Yearning wants to run both hands up his back while they kiss deeply.

Hunger wants to lift him by the ass and slam him against the wall.

Next Week Looks Like This

(Today) 11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

11/30 For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in!

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Look at how gd cute they are!

Ah yes... (both Last Twilight)

We stan a supportive bestie/brother (orphans together? - not sure on the backstory)

It is a rule universally aknowledged that an cutie in a baceball cap must get his brim tweaked. (all from The Sign)

Way is the best.

I kinda love the BTS for Pit Babe.

(Last week)

#this week in bl #bl updates #bl review #My Dear Gangster Oppa #thai bl #the sign the series #Last Twilight #gmmtv #JimmySea #TayNew #ohmnanon #One Room Angel #japanese bl #pit babe the series #Twins the series #playboyy the series

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sillyyuserr · 2 months

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Another mini terukane analysis :P

so we’ve all seen the picture of teru’s hand on akane’s head right? Seen it, loved it, yadayada

but if you actually look into it, this is so cute.

i mean for one, thats his sword hand. From previous panels we’ve seen him use his right hand on his sword. While he is pictured with it in his left, when he actually fights, its in his right (old vs recent)

“what about that being his sword hand” well, if you couldnt tell, theres a literal demon right infront of them, so he must be on high guard right? nope its in his left LMAO

His better/dominant/more skilled hand is in the most gentlest way, comforting akane, rather than fighting the little shit off. Almost saying, he’s more important right now, akane’s comfort is more important than his own safety, reserving his better hand for him, rather than the stupid demon thing

then after he hits it, it shatters to glass, fading away. His face changes to that of a worried expression, and quickly turns around, takes akane by the little of his shirt he has left, and starts dragging him

Clearly doesn’t give him any time to react, seemingly extremely worried ab something. but as the chapter progresses, we see supernaturals fading away such as hanako, and mitsuba. The bells signaling the start of the severance

We can obviously put two and two together and realize teru thought akane was gonna fade away 😭 MANS WAS SO WORRIED

He was happy to leave aoi, defenseless, alone, in a realm he cannot reach, surrounded by countless evil entities, with very little time to save her, while she was clearly extremely unstable, with his only way of knowing if she dissipated or not being a little bell bracelet that he doesn’t even wear

yet he immediately turned around, full on dragged him/gave him ZERO time to get up, rushed him to the clock keepers asap without even time for akane to react or anything. Like gosh dude can you be more obvious.

him being that worried about akane is so interesting to me, because like, why? Shouldnt he hate him for liking his so called “crush” (aoi). Since he’s planning on going back and saving aoi why cant he just get akane when he’s going back for aoi? Why go through the effort? Lets think of a few reasons why

Reason 1. Calling back to when he stopped them from kissing, he mightve realized if he’s alone with her there, they’d sit on the train and bam they’re dead, gone forever.

Reason 2. Maybe he at one point, had the idea of overall just leaving her there. Giving her the bell bracelet as a false sense of hope so he doesn’t seem like a bad person. And if akane’s sent there, he has to get him, and of course they’ll be together there so he’ll have to get aoi aswell. Why he might want to leave aoi? No clue but its an idea that came to mind so i put it down

Reason 3. Maybe he cant do it alone. He’s always been the “i fight alone” type, but when akane’s there he’s never fighting alone. So maybe he doubts his ability to save her by himself, and wants akane by his side throughout the whole thing

Reason 4. Maybe he just cares about him and/or maybe might like him a little more than he should

i wanna write one ab what happened with teru + akane JUST before the severance SO BAD THERES LITERALLY SM I HAVE TO SAY but i lost all motivation and there being too much is both good and bad 😭 (bad as in im too lazy to do it)

#terukane #real #tbhk #aidairo #aoi akane #minamoto teru #analysis

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gojocp · 9 months

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"now playing:.."

cw: fluff, angst(??) in itadori's part featuring: gojo satoru, geto suguru, megumi fushiguro, nanami kento, yuuji itadori

a/n: the way i literally deleted all of the fic and had to redo it. also has anyone read the webtoon 'weak hero' cuz im re-reading it and there are literally ZERO fics abt it. also pls lmk if u find any apocalypse-type jjk or aot fics. lmk how this is!! (i think i turned geto in another version of gojo, i literally cannot write for anyone but him its so sad. also i feel like megumi's made no sense LMAO)

GOJO SATORU: 'always forever' by cults. "you and me.. always, forever!! we could stay.. alone, together!!" ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"hey, stop! get away suguru!" utahime shouts, running away from the 16 year old. "nope, sorry utahime! no tag-backs!!" he responds, slapping her back and running away.

"fine! screw you!" she shouts, running to haibara and tagging him quickly.

"haibara! get me!" yells suguru, waving his arms. "okay! if you say so!" haibara responds, doing as the upperclassmen says.

"thanks!" he smiles, making a bee-line towards utahime. "stop it! (y/n) help me, please! why aren't you two playing?" she yells.

"we're tired man.." satoru says, resting his head on yours as you lean against his shoulder, eating a popsicle.

"you were sitting there the whole time!" shoko exclaims. "you didn't even do anything." nanami agrees, having yet to be caught.

"if you need some shade you're free to join us." you say. "no thanks, we're actually getting excercise, unlike you guys. so lazy.." suguru responds.

"hey! stop ganging up on us! we'll sit if we want to! get lost!!" satoru shouts.

.・。.・゜✭・.

after 10 minutes of running around some more, the others decide to call it a day and take a seat in the shade of a seperate tree, not wanting to disturb the two of you. and not wanting to deal with satoru complaining.

"hey, this is nice y'know.." satoru starts, "just being alone together, while the others do their own thing. we should do this more often, just the two of us." he continues. "yeah, it's nice." you agree, looking up and placing a kiss on his jaw.

"hey! look at the sunset!" utahime exclaims, directing your attention away from your boyfriend for a moment. "oo, it's so pretty!" you gush.

"yeah," satoru agrees, looking at you. "it is pretty."

0:40 ——|———————— -3:20

GETO SUGURU: 'lovers rock' by tv girl. "and if you're too drunk to drive, and the music is right. she might let you stay, but just for the night" ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

just like any teenager, suguru believes he can hold alcohol pretty well. he can't.

when shoko sneaks alcohol into the dorms, she convinces the 4 of you to try some. of course, satoru boasts about how well he can tolerate alcohol and challenges suguru to a 'drink off', as he says. after taking a few drinks from his glass, satoru is out cold. shoko decides to put the bottle away and take satoru to his room, leaving you with your drunk boyfriend to take care of.

"please get up, sugu. let me take you back to your room." you say, trying to convince him to get off your lap. "nahh, i'm good." he responds, slurring his words.

"okay fine, stay there then." you say, standing up and leaving him to lay on the floor. "wait-! where are you going? don't leave!" he exclaims, standing up too quickly. you move to catch him, swinging one of his arms over your shoulder to support his weight.

"back to your room, suguru," you respond, "that's where we're going."

"no! i don't wanna." he says stubbornly, wrapping his other arm around you. "wait- stop! we're gonna fall!" you shout. "then we can fall..!" he giggles.

"oh my god, you're so stubborn. i'm taking you to my room." you say, slightly agitated. "ooo, didn't know you were like that." he says, wriggling his eyebrows. 'kill me now.' you think, realizing your mistake, knowing he won't leave you alone about it.

"let's hurry to your room then." he says, leaving a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

you drag him to your room and drop him on the bed and head to the bathroom to do your skincare. when you come back, you find him staring at you, love prominent in his eyes.

"hey, cutie." he flirts with a grin on his lips. "shut up and go to bed." you respond.

"ow, so rude." he says, making himself comfortable under the covers.

"i love you.." he says, giving you a wet kiss on the cheek. "i love you too, go to sleep." you say, facing away from him. he wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer, kissing your nape a few times and snuggling into your neck.

"goodnight.." he mumbles, falling asleep soon after. "goodnight, sugu."

1:20 ————|—————— -3:20

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO: 'see you again' by tyler, the creator. "can i get a kiss? and can you make it last forever..." ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

it's not often you and your friends get to hang out, often too busy with school work.

"wooo! i love the beach!" yuuji exclaims, chasing nobara as you all make your way to the sand. upon arriving, itadori quickly takes off his shoes and clothes, leaving him in his swimwear and runs into the water.

"guys!! (y/n)!! nobara!! megumi!! come swim!!" he exclaims, waving his arms. "coming!! wait up!" nobara says, running into the water.

after placing the towels and bags on the sand, you and megumi make your way to the water. "ugh! stop splashing me itadori!" nobara yells, splashing water back at itadori.

stepping into the water, megumi holds his hand out for you. "here." he says, offering you his hand. "thank you." you say, smiling at him. "eww! you guys are gross!" nobara says, splashing you with water as itadori joins in, splashing megumi.

"hey!" megumi scolds, throwing a beachball at itadori. "ow! what the hell?" itadori exclaims, as nobara laughs at him. "don't laugh, nobara!!"

"whatever.." she responds, splashing him again and swimming off. "get back here!" says itadori. "never!!" she retorts, getting splashed seconds later.

.・。.・゜✭・.

"oh god.. i'm so tired.." you say, heading back to the dorms. "i need a massage so bad." you continue. "i could give you one when we're back?" megumi offers, the others not being able to hear over their yells and shouts at each other. "i'd like that, thank you!" you beam, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

after changing your clothes, you lay down and megumi begins massaging the knots out of your back. letting out a sigh of pleasure, you say, "thank you, megumi.." you say, smiling softly. "anytime." he responds fondly.

after a bit of silence, megumi decides to break it. "you know, sometimes i wonder.." if you look both ways when you cross my mind. "yeah?" you urge him to continue. "no, nevermind.." he replies. "you sure?" you ask. "yeah." he says smiling. "okay.." you say, deciding not to push him.

"i'm done.." he says, moving away and tucking you in. "can i get a kiss?" you ask, as he starts to leave. and can you make it last forever? smiling, he walks over and places a soft kiss on your lips. "goodnight.." he says. "goodnight... i love you." you say, smiling up at him. "i love you too." he says, placing another kiss on your cheek and shutting the door behind him.

2:00 ——————|———— -3:20

NANAMI KENTO: 'for the first time' by mac de marco. "it's just like seeing her.. for the first time..again.." ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

two weeks. it had been two weeks since kento had seen you face-to-face. having to go on a mission out of the country, he wasn't very fond of leaving you alone for a long time. and even though you reassured him over and over, saying "oh, i'll be fine!! don't worry," and "it's only two weeks.. you'll be back in no time." he still worried.

and after two dreadful and godawful (according to him) weeks, he was finally back in japan, handing in his report.

"alright, that's everything. you're free to leave." upon hearing those words, he rushed out and quickly headed home.

"kento?" you asked, when you heard the front door open. "i'm home." he said warmly, with a fond smile etched on his face. 'they're so beautiful, just like when we first met.' running up to him, you wrap your arms around his neck and give him a warm hug, asking "how are you?".

"i'm okay, how have you been?" he asks. "ehh, it's been the same." you respond. squeezes his arms around your waist tighter and places soft kisses on your face.

"what's gotten into you, kento?" you question, laughing softly. "i missed you." he states, placing a final kiss on your forehead. "i missed you too, dear. how about you shower and we can eat? i made your favourite." you say, smiling up at him. "okay.. wait for me, my love." he responds, leaving to go shower.

.・。.・゜✭・.

after eating, you both head to bed and lie down. wrapping your arms around kento, you rest your head on his shoulder and look up at him.

"i missed you kento.." you say sleepily. "i missed you too." he responds. "i love you.." you add, letting sleep engulf you. "i love you too." he whispers, while softly sleeping.

'it's just like seeing her for the first time.. again..'

2:40 ————————|—— -3:20

YUJI ITADORI: "i'll never smile again" by tommy dorsey. 'i'll never smile again...untill i smile at you' ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

'how did this happen?' he thinks to himself. 'this was supposed to be a grade one curse, where the hell did the special grade come from?'

you and yuuji were paired up to travel to shibuya to excorsise a grade one curse. easy enough, right? WRONG!! like all missions in shibuya, something had to go wrong, and in this case, a special grade appeared. you both tried your best to excorsise it, but all your efforts were futile as you were knocked out, and the curse remained in the city.

it had been two hours since then, another sorceror was sent to excorsise the curse. but yuji didn't care, his partner was unconsious and greatly injured, for heavens sake! you had been impaled in the arm and legs and cursed buds were planted inside you, growing deeper and deeper the more you used cursed energy.

i mean, it was already bad enough that an s grade curse appeared, but know you can't even use cursed techniques? the 15 year old couldn't recall what he had done to deserve this, but that's because he didn't do anything. the world is just cruel.

he couldn't ever imagine smiling or being truly happy in a world without you. you were the love of his life. you were his everything. he couldn't lose you too.

'i'll never smile again, until i smile at you.' he thinks to himself. 'please.. whatever god is up there, please save my partner.. i'm begging you..'

love really is the most twisted curse of all.

3:20 ——————————| -3:20

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maggiedanikka · 1 year

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Let Me Go || Part 10

Pairing: Hangman x f!reader, Rooster x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST (but you knew that), minor character death, Some Fluff

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: Reader is married to and shares a child with Hangman. Life and circumstances drives reader into Rooster’s arms, but Hangman isn’t giving up that easily.

Author's Note: The long awaited Part 10. So this is the final part of the story, but there is still an epilogue coming (actually already started writing it as we speak or rather type). Sorry for the long wait once again, school and law school apps really got the best of me. But I did end up getting into law school with a great scholarship so yay! This chapter was so hard to write, I really kept going back and forth on how I was gonna end it and I know I'm not gonna make everyone happy with how I ended it but I think I went the best possible and realistic way that's healthy for all the characters involved. And I am really happy with what I came up with. I also had such a bad case of writer's block but thanks to some brainstorming with one of my best friends (who I forced to listen to the plot of the story). He helped me come up with an ending I was happy with. So thank you again for your patience and I also I wanna apologize to everyone who asked to be in the tag list that I didn't add, its impossible to keep track of who asked. But without further ado, here is Part 10 of Let Me Go!

You needed a moment to gather your thoughts before responding to Jake's plea. You took a deep breath and wiped the tears from your eyes.

"Jake, of course I still love you," you said, your voice quivering slightly. "But that's not the point. Love alone is not enough to fix what's broken between us."

"I know," Jake replied, his eyes downcast.

"You also have to understand that what I had with Bradley was not the same as what we have," you continued.

"Yes I fell in love with him. How was I not supposed to? He loved me when it felt like you could not, he loved me selflessly and loved our daughter like his own. I can’t just ignore that.”

"You fell in love with Rooster…." Jake repeated, voice low and full of despair.

“I thought it was you and me forever Sweets. I can’t believe you’d go back on our vows and leave me for Rooster!”

“And its not just you and me (y/n), we have a daughter! Imagine how confusing all of this is for her!” Jake was fuming once again, clearly jumping from the bargaining stage of grief back to anger.

“You didn’t think about our daughter when you fucked that corpsman!”

“That’s different (y/n)! She was a stranger, you fell in love with MY friend. Someone I thought was JUST your friend.”

“This is different," you said, feeling a mix of anger and frustration rise in your chest. "Rooster is not just a friend, he's someone I have a deep connection with. And I know it's hard for you to understand, but I can't just turn off my feelings for him."

Jake looked up at you, his expression a mixture of hurt and anger. "So what are you saying, that you want to be with him instead of me?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying," you replied firmly.

Jake's eyes widened as he processed your words. "So what is it? You're just going to leave me here, alone and broken?"

The anger began to rise in you as you spoke. "No, Jake, I'm not leaving you alone and broken. You did that to yourself when you cheated on me. You broke our trust and shattered the foundation of our relationship. And now you have to deal with the consequences."

Jake's face fell as your words hit him like a ton of bricks. "I know what I did was wrong," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm willing to do anything to make it up to you. I love you, (y/n), and I don't want to lose you."

Your anger began to boil over as you listened to Jake's pleas. "Love is not enough, Jake," you spat out. "It takes more than love to build a strong and healthy relationship. It takes trust, honesty, and respect. And you betrayed all of that when you cheated on me."

Jake hung his head in shame as you continued to speak. "I need time to heal and figure out if I can ever trust you again. And right now, that means being on my own. I can't just forgive you and forget what you did. It's not that simple."

“And I know you said that you’re willing to forgive my relationship with Bradley, but we both know that the hurt lives in you, you cannot just instantly forget what Bradley and I shared.”

Jake looked up at you, his eyes pleading. "Please, (y/n), don't do this. I know I messed up, I know we both did, but I'm willing to do anything to make it right. Please do this with me"

"We had your chance, Jake," you replied, your voice stern. "And we blew it. I shut you out rather than figure it out with you. I fell in love with someone else.We both need time to think and figure out what's best for ourselves and our daughter. And right now, for me, that means being away from you."

Jake's eyes filled with tears as he realized the gravity of the situation. "Please don't do this," he pleaded, his voice breaking. "I need you, (y/n)."

But you stood firm in your decision. "I'm sorry, Jake. But we can't keep putting ourselves and our daughter through this pain. We need time apart to figure things out."

Jake looked at you, sadness etched on his face. "But what if we can't make things work? What if we can't get back together?"

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. "Then we have to accept that and do what's best for our daughter. We both love her, and we'll always be there for her."

“I love you (y/n), I always will, no matter what.”

“I know Jake.”

_________________________________________________________________________

"We need to talk"

“Can I come over?”

His heart rate picked up as he replied, "Of course”

“I'll be there in 10 minutes."

Bradley quickly got up from bed, threw on a hoodie and pants, and sat on his couch as he waited for your arrival. The minutes felt like years as he tried to control the thoughts racing through his head. Was something wrong? Was everything okay with Jake and Astrid? He had to find out.

When he heard a knock on the door, he noticed that he forgot to turn the lights on, probably a result of his distracted thoughts. He opened the front door and waved for you to enter.

"Hey," you said, walking into the living room. "Thanks for letting me come over again, for the second time tonight. I know its late"

"Of course, what's going on?" Bradley asked, concern etched on his face.

You took a deep breath before speaking. "Jake and I are separating."

Bradley's heart dropped as he heard the news. He knew how much you loved Jake and how much you wanted to make things work with him, despite everything that had happened. But he also couldn’t forget your year together.

He knew he shouldn't feel happy that your marriage was falling apart, but a small part of him couldn't help feeling hopeful for what it might mean for him and you. But he quickly pushed those thoughts aside, knowing that this was not the time or place for them.

"I'm so sorry, (y/n). Are you okay?"

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. "No, I'm not okay. But I need to be strong for Astrid.”

Bradley wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm here for you, (y/n). Whatever you need."

You shrugged off his embrace, which you have never done before. This action took Bradley by surprise, and he couldn’t lie hurt a little bit. But he knew that there was a large weight you holding on your shoulders, one that you were mustering up the courage to tell him.

“I need to leave, I’m moving back to San Diego. I’m going to take Astrid with me.”

“You’re leaving?” Bradley couldn’t believe it

“But..how about us?”

Bradley knew it was selfish asking about his standing with you after you told him that you and your husband were separated. But the thought of losing you and Astrid left his body feeling like its been hit by a truck.

“Roo.. I love you.”

Surprise painted Bradley’s face upon hearing your words, you finally told him those 3 little words that he’s been desperately waiting for.

“But I can’t be with you. Jake cheated on me with another woman. But I am not innocent in this situation. I fell in love with you knowing that there was another man that I promised my life to. He hurt me, but I’ve hurt him just as much. And its not okay.”

“I am so in love with you but I need to get away from here. I don't know what I want right now, and I need to figure things out on my own.”

As the words left your mouth, Bradley felt like the ground beneath him had given way. He had hoped that this would be the moment when you would finally see him as more than just a friend, and he got his wish. But now, it felt like the walls were closing in on him.

He tried to keep his voice steady as he responded, "I understand, (y/n). Take all the time you need." His eyes were burning, and he struggled to keep his composure. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you now, after all this time.

You looked at him with a sad smile, and his heart broke a little more. "Thank you, Bradley. You're a good friend."

Friend. The word echoed in his mind like a taunt. He had been fooling himself all along, thinking that he had a chance with you. He couldn't help but wonder if he had missed his shot.

Before you could leave, you turned to him and said,

"I hope that there will be a time for us but not right now."

“I promise,maybe one day when my head is less fucked up, and I can give my entire self to you and I can give you all the love you deserve. When I’m ready, I will come back for you. If you’ll have me..”

Those words left him feeling even more uncertain. He didn't know when you would be ready, or what you would say when you finally did reach out. All he knew was that his heart was breaking, and he didn't know how to fix it.

As he watched you walk out of his apartment, he couldn't help but feel like everything was slipping through his fingers. He didn't know if he would ever get another chance with you, and that thought left him feeling empty and alone.

Bradley closed the door and leaned against it, taking a deep breath. He knew that he needed to give you the space you were asking for, but it felt like the hardest thing he had ever done. All he could do now was wait, and hope that one day you would come back to him.

____________________________________________________________________________

After you returned home, you saw that Jake had some of his belongings packed in a bag. You made eye contact with him as he walked down the stairs, hating yourself for hurting not just him but Bradley as well. But you knew this is what you all needed.

“Thank you for staying with her, while I went to talk to Bradley.”

Jake felt his throat get dry at the sound of his rival’s name, biting down the bitter remark that would leave his mouth, knowing that it would do nothing to help the situation. Choosing to plop himself down on the couch.

“I went to tell Pixie goodbye but she’s still asleep. Can you tell her for me?”

You gave him a small nod in response.

“I’m going to stay at a place on base, give you your space.”

“Thanks Jake, I promise we’ll only be here for a few more days. Until I make arrangements for me and Astrid to get back to San Diego…. Penny said we could stay with her until we find our own place.”

“Are you sure leaving is the best thing to do right now?”

“I think its the only thing that makes sense for me to do right now.” You replied, sternly.

Silence hung in the air as Jake stared at you, processing your words. You could see the hurt and confusion etched on his face, and you wished that things could be different. You wished that you could turn back time and make different choices, but you knew that was impossible.

After a few moments, Jake nodded slowly. "I understand," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't like it, but I understand."

You let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. "Thank you," you said, your own voice barely above a whisper. "I just need some time to think things through."

Jake stood up from the couch, his eyes still fixed on you. "I'll give you all the time you need," he said. "But just know that I love you, and I'll always be here for you and our daughter."

You managed a small smile, grateful for Jake's words. "I know," you said. "And I love you too. But right now, I need to be on my own."

With that, Jake nodded and headed towards the door. Before he left, he turned back to look at you one last time. "Take care of yourself," he said softly.

You didn’t understand why but that exact moment you remembered the day of your wedding.

The wedding took place on a the beach next to the Hard Deck, where you first met, with soft white sand and the sound of the waves crashing in the background. The sun was setting, casting a warm orange glow over the entire scene.

You wore a simple backless satin white gown with a slit and court train that flowed behind you as you walked down the aisle. Jake had never seen anymore radiant or breathtakingly beautiful.

Penny held your arm tight, as you both made your way down the white aisle in the sand. She was the closest thing you had to family since your mom died and it meant so much to you that she not only planned the whole event but also wanted to be the one to walk you down the aisle.

As you reached the altar, you looked up and locked eyes with Jake, a dashing naval aviator in his dress uniform. He wore his medals and insignia with pride, and the way he looked at you made yout heart skip a beat.

You and Jake agreed to not write vows, you knew how you felt about each other and you didn’t feel the need to have to express it with words. Which is why it surprised you when he pulled a piece of folded paper from his pocket and started reading.

“My sweets,

I stand before you today, in my dress whites, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. As a naval aviator, I have flown through the skies and seen countless wonders, but nothing compares to the beauty of you. You are my everything, my anchor, my inspiration, my love.

From the moment I met you, I knew there was something special about you. Your spunky attitude, your unwavering ambition, and your stunning beauty captivated me from the start. I have never met anyone like you before, and I never want to let you go.

As we stand here today, I want to promise to always support you in your dreams, just as you have supported me in mine. I promise to stand by your side through thick and thin, in good times and in bad. I promise to cherish every moment we spend together, and to never take our love for granted.

I promise to be your rock, your confidant, and your partner for life. I vow to always make you feel loved, respected, and cherished. I will be there for you in every moment, whether it's sharing the highs of your accomplishments or the lows of your struggles.

Together, we will create a life full of adventure, joy, and love. I am so grateful to have you as my partner, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. I love you more than words can express, and I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me.

Yours forever,

Zuko

You felt tears swell in your eyes at his admission, you had never felt this much love from anyone, and here is this man promising you love and devotion forever. None of it felt real.

“Jake… I-i I didn’t have anything prepared…” You whispered cheeks red in embarrassment.

“You don’t need to Sweets, I wanted you and everyone here to know I felt about you.”

“You show me how you love me every single day and that’s all I could ever want.”

You nodded, tears pooling in your eyes.

You exchanged rings, Jake took your hand and lifted it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your skin. Before he gently took your face in his hands placing a soft delicate kiss on your lips.

You smiled and blushed, feeling overwhelmed with love for your husband.

After the ceremony, both of you as husband and wife took a walk along the beach, hand in hand. Jake swept you bride off your feet and carried her across a shallow part of the water, causing you to laugh and giggle like a child.

At the reception, You held each other tightly as you swayed to soft acoustic playing out of the speakers. You were surrounded by their family and friends, who toasted to your happiness and future together.

As the night drew to a close, Jake took your hand and led you away to a secluded spot on the beach. You sat down on a blanket and watched the stars twinkle in the sky, cuddling close to each other.

Jake whispered sweet nothings into you ear, telling you how much he loved you and how grateful he was to have you as his partner for life. You shared a tender kiss as the waves lapped at your feet, promising to love each other forever.

That memory flashbacked in your mind, cracking your already broken heart even more that it already was. But you were set in your decision, you two were different people then. With different dreams, love untainted by time and circumstances. You don’t know if you could ever go back to the way you were.

You nodded, watching as he closed the door behind him. Alone in the quiet house, you let out a deep sigh and let the tears fall freely once again. You didn't know what the future held, but you knew that you needed to take things one day at a time. For now, all you could do was focus on yourself and your daughter, and try to heal from the pain and heartbreak that had consumed your life.

You are going to be okay. You and Astrid are going to be okay.

______________________________________________________________

“Mom! Hurry up! I’m supposed to be at practice in 10 minutes!”

Your 8 year daughter was such a stickler for punctuality, you honestly sometimes questioned if she really was your daughter. You had the tendency to be fashionably late (if fashionably was 30 minutes), taking your time to make your way to events.

“The field is 5 minutes away Atty, you’ll be fine.”

“That’s what you said last week, but I ended up being 10 minutes late to warm-ups!”

She pouted as you walked out into the foyer pulling your shoes onto your feet.

“Coach wouldn’t let me play the first half!” She continued.

“Well don’t worry Sweetie, you make such a pretty benchwarmer.” You joked pinching her cheeks.

You were greeted by your daughters scowl, she looked absolutely terrifying for a little (*ahem* big) girl dressed in a bright yellow soccer uniform, pastel pink cleats, and pigtails.

Her punctuality and her terrifying glare, two things she’s inherited from her father.

You dropped her off at a mostly empty soccer field, with only the two coaches and 2 other players occupying the area.

“Where is everyone?”

“Coach moved practice to 30 minutes later.” Your devious daughter smiled coyly.

“Astrid Eleanor Seresin…did you just lie to your mother?” You raised an eyebrow at her.

She quickly opened the car door and rushed out.

“Omission is not a lie!” She yelled as she ran away.

“Casey’s mom is dropping me off at home!”

“Okay! I’m gonna see Auntie Penny!”

“Tell her her I said Hi!”

You chuckled as you watched her retreating figure get further into the field. What kind of 8 year old knew the word “omission”? She no doubtly learned that from her father. Classic Jake.

You put your car back in drive and made your way to the Hard Deck.

“Hey Sweet Pea! Where’s my sweet little goddaughter?” Penny asked from behind the counter as you walked into the bar.

It was still early afternoon so the bar was occupied by the bar staff getting ready for a night of servicing navy men.

“Soccer practice.” You replied.

“You said putting her in sports will tire her out but its somehow made her more energetic.” You groaned taking a seat at the bar.

“She is her father’s daughter.” You heard a voice quip originating from the supply closet.

“Hey Mav.” You smiled at the captain,

“Hey (y/n), you and Atty still coming for the barbeque on Thursday?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Atty says no one can grill em like you.” you responded.

“That’s why shes my favorite.” Mav smiled with a toothy grin as he returned to the storage closet.

“Sweet Pea, do you mind manning the bar for a second? I’m sure no one will come in, but just in case. Last time I left Pete unsupervised he dropped a whole pallet of beer.” Penny sighed.

“It’s been a little while, but sure Penny.”

“Anything for you.”

“Thanks Sweet Pea”

It was strange to be behind the bar, you and Astrid had been back at Fightertown for the past four years.

It was really hard to explain to her the situation, but she was a smart child. She knew there was more going on between you, Bradley, and Jake than you let her in on. She knew that space from her Uncle Roo Roo and her Daddy was absolutely necessary for her mother’s well-being, and she was more than willing to be amenable to change if it meant you were happier.

You eventually found a little one story house near Penny (and now Mav’s house), it was small but it was cozy and it was more than enough space for the two of you. You found a job in a nearby law firm, where you rose up the ranks and got your own corner office.

You finally got the time to relax and breathe, to really focus on yourself, your dreams, and your daughter. And finally after 4 years, you finally felt at peace.

The pain and the trauma will always live within but you have gotten to a place where you are content with your life and your past because it led you full circle. In Miramar, right where you belonged.

As you stared down on the bar and wiped down the glasses reminiscing on your life, you didn’t notice the figure that walked into the empty bar.

He plopped himself down in a stool in front of you and cleared his throat.

You looked up and made eye contact with the figure and smiled.

“Hey”

“Hi”

It honestly felt like coming home

Tag list below, I apologize if your tag did not work :(

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mushroommanstan · 1 year

Text

Creepy Tenko part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1

Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A warm breeze hit you as the door to the Mexican-style café swung open, bringing with it an aroma of steaming plates and exotic spices. You smiled. You’ve always liked this place, so it’s all luck that your new friend would meet you here. Maybe Tenko will like it too! …When he decides to join you of course.

You didn’t mind leaving him in the car as he recuperated, him saying he’ll join you in just a sec, but you couldn’t help the doubt clouding your mind based on his tired appearance. You swear to god if he falls asleep in your car you’re actually gonna kill him.

“Hey! Over here!” A girl called, her wavy (obviously fake) blond hair bouncing with her enthusiastic motions. She was waving her arms around above her head like she was trying to get the attention of someone from space.

You walked over there, a few of her friends loudly guffawing at stupid internet memes. You swear to god even from that distance you could tell they were resembling a middle school cafeteria table.

None the less, you sat down, your comfy seat squishing under you as you lost yourself in the cafes natural atmosphere for just a moment. A moment that was interrupted by said girl tapping her nails on the counter obnoxiously, lips puckered as she pouted at you.

“Oh my gooood! What took you so long? We were like waiting for you for like forever!”

You chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah sorry, heh, I uh… got caught up. I actually-I hope you don’t mind brut I met this really cute guy and I invited him.”

Her expression dropped immediately. “Oh my god! Who is it? Is he hot?”

“He’s way hot. You actually might know him, he’s really cute but really shy and he loves Super Hero Advent-“

“Yeah yeah yeah” she interrupted, “but when do we get to meet him? I want him to be here when we talk about how you stood up t-“

“Oh there he is! Hey! We’re over here!” You called to your seemingly clueless new friend, his hood pulled over his head making him difficult to identify at first. But you’d recognize those ruby red eyes anywhere.

The moment everyone saw him, the men’s balls simultaneously disappeared and the woman’s smile dropped immediately. Dear god pleas me don’t let him be the guy you were talking about. There’s no way, right?

He formed a small smile when he saw you, making his way over to the table without taking his eyes off yours, and consequentially bumping into a few chairs and tables. He arrived, standing in front of you with his face still flushed from… actually you don’t think you’ve ever seen his face not flushed. Or, at least, not when he wasn’t looking at you. Cutie.

You got up, allowing him entrance to the booth and he sat down immediately, again not looking at where he was aiming and accidentally squishing his leg against the blonde next to him.

He mumbled a quick apology, again still looking at you, while you sat back down.

“Have you guys met Tenko before?”

All their faces were ghost pale. Any and all chatter between them stopped, replaced by rushed whispers and fleeting glances.

You looked behind yourself, then behind Tenko. “What?”

“N-nothing…” she gasped out, stuttering while looking at Tenko like he was holding her at gun point.

He scoffed, his face losing a little bit of its color as he was reminded of the situation he was in. He scoffed, pulling the hood further over his face, scratching his neck and picking up a menu.

The table was dead quiet apart from his scratching, the air so tense you could cut it with a knife. You sighed, looks like you’ll have to get the conversation going.

“So… what’re your guys thinking of getting?”

“A restraining order” one of them whispered.

“What?”

“Oh, uh… a hamburger…”

You snarked. “Uh, you do realize this is a Mexican place?”

The guy blinked in shock. “Oh, yeah, right.”

You rolled your eyes, smirking, returning to the menu in contemplation. “Hmm, yeah, I think I’ll have the chicken quesadilla. What’re you getting Ten?”

Ten? Did this girl seriously just call Shimura ‘Ten’? Did she have a death wish? What was happening?! God what the hells wrong with her?

Tenkos attention was brought back to you, the small smile returning to his face as he rested his chin on his hand. God you were beautiful. He can’t believe he just wasted precious viewing time over some stupid social anxiety. Those npcs can go fuck themselves, all eyes are on you.

He hummed, mimicking yours and stopped his scratching. His posture relaxed, a sight that made you feel more at ease as some of the crushing pressure was lifted.

“Yeah I don’t know. I’ve heard their shrimp enchiladas pretty good. Maybe we could share it? Something tells me you’ll be, uh, eating light.”

He gave you a knowing look, prompting you to smirk and jokingly slap his shoulder. The blonde girl flinched when you told him to shut up, backing away even more so from Tenko as if he was about to explode.

But instead he just laughed, a big, hearty laugh that broadened his horrific smile and made everyone at the table shiver. They’ve never seen him smile like that. What in the ever loving fuck was going on.

One of the guys cleared his throat, the shock fading and letting him remember himself. Whatever, he’s not s-scared of this weird assh-hole. If he thinks he can ruin everyone’s good time he’s got another thing coming.

He broadened his shoulders, straightening his back and puffing out his chest, composing himself. Seeing this the rest follow, their fear turning into annoyance and spite.

It’s obvious you don’t know who this guy really is. I mean, why else would you hang out with him?! They just need to get him to leave, you’ll thank them later.

“So… y/n, how long have you two… uh… known each other?” The blonde asked cautiously, eyes trained on Tenko, watching for any subtle movements.

“We’ve just met actually, we’ve maybe known each other for, what, a few days? But I’d say we’re still pretty good friends!”

Tenko turned to them, beaming. “Yeah! We’re friends!”

He stopped, face falling slightly in contemplation, a small moment that made everyone tense.

“I guess that makes you guys my friends to-“

“NO!” One of them blurted, almost as surprised as you were at what came out of their mouths. “N-no, no I d-dont think we’re friends.” The shrunk back further into their chair, trying to escape his shocked expression.

You glared at them like they’d just kicked a puppy.

“O-oh, yeah… right, yeah sorry, I uh… I got carried away.” Tenko laughed, hardly genuine. Both hands raised to his neck, scraping the skin harshly while the corners of his mouth twitched.

The sight pained you, and you felt the urge to embrace him in a big hug until he felt better. Instead, you rested your hand on his leg, causing his scratching to slow down as he was reminded of your presence. You smiled, helping him calm down as said hand raised to take his away from his neck.

But before you could the blonde took her drink and splashed it on him. He flinched, the ice falling down into his pants and causing him to yelp and scramble out of the booth.

“Whoops! Sorry, uh, there’s a bathroom over there. Better dry that off before it stains.”

Now, normally, Tenko wouldn’t give any shits about stains. But… this was his favorite hoodie. So he nodded, briskly walking to the bathroom as you stared in shock.

All of you waited until the door slammed shut and the lock clicked.

“What the hells the matter with you?!” You whisper yelled, fired up and ready to throw some hands if they don’t apologize.

“What’s the matter with me? What’s the matter with you? What the hell are you doing with fucking Shimura?”

You scoffed. “Relax, we’re just friends! God! What is he your ex or something?!”

She laughed mockingly, as if the very question was an insult.

“No he’s not my ex thank god! Do I look dead to you?”

“What?” The fuck did she mean by that?

“Listen. You have to get out of here. He’s dangerous. Cut off all contact with him and I’ll consider forgiving you for bringing that ‘thing’ to lunch. What, do you have a death wish? I-“

You interrupted her with your own mocking laugh. Tenko? Dangerous? Is she joking?

“Yeah, ok, he’s soooo dangerous. Seriously have you even met the guy?”

“HAVE YOU?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT HE-“

The door swung open and both of your mouths slammed shut. He sulked back to the table, his hoodie dry but not fully repaired. God, you hated how uncomfortable he looked.

Despite his previous seat, you instead offered yours, elbowing the blonde discreetly as you scooted down the booth. He took his seat silently, eyes facing the floor sadly.

You’d almost forgotten how uncomfortable they’d made him. It pissed you off, and you glared at them again. The blonde glared back, though you could see the way her eyes switched from you to Tenko nervously. You smirked.

“Hey Ten, earlier you were saying something about your new high score? How’d that happen?” You asked, his eyes lifting from his shoes to yours as he recalled the momentous occasion.

“O-oh, that, well… it’s not that big ‘a deal, you guys probably don’t wanna hear about it…” he mumbled, absentmindedly pushing around a dollop of salsa on his plate with a tortilla chip.

“Oh cmon, it’s a great story! I’d love to hear it again! I’m sure they’d love to hear it too! Wouldn’t you love to hear it?”

They said nothing.

“They’d love to hear it!”

Tenko took a sip of water, steeling his nerves, before he started mumbling the beginning of his tale. It took a bit, but with some encouraging nods and questions you were able to get him back to the way he was when you two were alone. Charming and enthusiastic, making sound effects and doing wild hand gestures as he lost himself in his own story.

You looked at him, hair bouncing, eyes bright without a care, a faint blush from excitement as he completely nerded out in-front of the bullies sitting with you, and you looked back at the girl in disbelief.

“Dangerous?” You mouthed sarcastically, looking at her like she said the dumbest thing ever. And she did, didn’t she? How could this little cinnamon roll hurt even a fly?

You could see she was starting to understand, they all were, that he wasn’t some serial killer and instead just a nerdy, special little guy. Finally, finally they relaxed, even going as far as to meekly ask small questions to which he happily answered.

By some miracle, the atmosphere changed, and soon everyone was engaging with him in his rants, laughing and smiling like they had forgotten all previous fears. Now you would never be able to tell that only just minutes ago were they cowering in fear over this goofball, finally letting go and seeing him for what he is, just a funny lil guy.

Tenko held back tears of happiness, so much positive attention overstimulating him in the best ways possible. He looked into their eyes and they looked back, this time without fear, and he had never thought of such a good feeling.

For once in his life, he felt accepted, and he never realized until then how much he yearned for this.

So of course something has to come along and ruin this happy moment. That something being, three masked men with guns rushing into the cafe.

“NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS A ROBBERY!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bum bum bum, suspenseful music cue. You’ll have to wait a while till the next one probably.

Alright so I’m gonna level with y’all, this is not proof-read (like usual) because it has been sitting in my drafts for so long and I just wanna get it done… hope you guys like it, really sorry for the long wait

#shigaraki tenko #my hero academia #shigaraki fanfiction #my hero academia shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x y/n #boku no hero academia tomura #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki smut

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doodlesdreaming · 5 months

Text

Shin Megami Log 4(After Game Thoughts)

Finished SMT V during Christmas, and I have THOUGHTS.

I'm gonna put all that under the 'Read More' bit, so if any of you are interested in this game, then scroll past and no peeking.

Right then, final thoughts:

Brief history lesson first, I knew very little about the SMT series or the spin-offs like Persona. Of course, with how incredibly successful Persona 5 is, it's hard to miss any sort of info. But even then, my knowledge of the entire franchise was very limited. All I know is that it's basically the "Dark Souls" of RPGs with character driven stories that have of ingredients than a Final Fantasy title. At least, that was the vibe I was getting.

But even then, I never have been interested enough to want to give any of the games a try. I did get Persona Q2 back when I first heard of the 3DS dying out, but it mostly because I didn't want a Persona game with Joker's face on it to be forever lost. Weird I know, but that was my train of thought, at the time. But after clearing the first boss(and realizing that prior knowledge of Persona 5's story is an absolute must) I got bored and haven't touched the game since.

Fast forward a few years later, when Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne was announced with a HD port to current gen consoles. I was genuinely excited by the announcement. This meant that if I ever decided to give Nocturne a try, it'll be alot easier for me to do so now. Then after that came the biggest surprise of all; Shin Megami Tensei V.

Now this....this caught my attention. Though I can't really explain why. Was it the character designs? The gorgeous looking world? "D" all of the above? All I can say is that something 'clicked' and I was very interested. Even though it would take two years later until I actually got it.

And I'm so glad I did.

I was invested right from the start. From the silent "show don't tell" protagonist, all the way to Lufcier himself, the story, even with its swiss cheese holes in plot at some points, had me hooked from start to finish. The combat never got boring. I was constantly thinking of strategies and building up my demons that suited my needs and my playstyle. The world was incredibly fun to explore, even though the lighting choices, in some areas, made my eyes strain a bit. It would take me up til the big boss of the area for me to finally adjust.

And the bread and butter of it all, The Law and Chaos mechanics. A stable, I've come to understand, in the SMT series. Yet an important take away from all this is that nothing is as black and white as it seems on the surface. SMT is a franchise that makes you think. It makes you question yourselves and you inner most thoughts. And SMT V had me rolling in so many thoughts, that when I reached the 'alignment lock' of the game, I had to take a break because I was starting to get overwhelmed.

Of course, this could very well be a really weird quirk of mine. But when I get into a really good story, I REALLY get into it. And the choices I make would impact the ending I would get.

By all accounts, the Law ending would naturally mean the good ending, right? Well sure...if you can live with a Law that discriminates all other forms of thinking(a.e. free will), will not hesitate to punish they see as 'unfit' and the willingness to become corrupt yourself, just to prove a point. Sure. Law is the way to go.

The Chaos ending usually entails victory for the bad guys. And yet, there really isn't a clear "villain" in this case, other then the absolute obvious ones(f you Lamau). In Chaos, there is diversity, the freedom to choice your fate, to be yourself. And yet with so many possibilities, there will be disagreements, arguments of what is right and wrong, and power competing against power. No one really wins, and there is constant strife. But hope is just as abundant, with the capability that anything is possible.

The Neutral ending is well...the Neutral ending. You don't pick a side. You're that little kid that asks, "Why not both?" A balance of law and chaos. So understandably this would the best choice. Yes...except the neutral path follows a man who has been brought down low by both law and chaos. He lost everything precious to him, to the point where he belittles his fellow man if they show any sort of weakness. So the solution? Make humanity the leading power of the universe, but take away every viture and sin that exists in the heart and soul. And by extension, all the angels and demons in existence. Never to be even a story told by campfire light because it would never be allowed to cross through the mind. Humans would be free of woe and fear, and grow abundant in their everyday lives. But will it truly last?

You could probably guess which ending I ended up getting. And quite honestly, I'm satisfied with it. Plus it lines up perfectly with my ever growing headcanons of the Nahobino. So I'm taking it as a win.

I honestly can not recommend SMT V, especially if you're like me who enjoys a good rpg that I can sink my teeth into. It has it flaws, yes. But they feel so small that it doesn't really bother me. Some of them I can just 'fix' with good old imagination. And it's definitely inspired me to play Nocturne next, for sure. But first, I want to see if I can beat the Demi Fiend himself in combat....

There's so much more I'd like to talk about, but I think I rambled long enough.

The main takeaway? I LOVE THIS GAME. Definitely gonna be alot of fanart for sure. And I'm gonna get my hands on some merch when I can. It probably won't exceed my growing Darksiders collection, but it might come close in time, lol.

The other main takeaway from all this is that I get it now. I get the appeal and why this series is standing as strong as it is. HEE-HO!!!

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jadedxhearts · 5 days

Text

2022 Law Birthday Event / Kinktober

Request no 4.

Originally posted in October 2022

Please note that this is an old work and isn't representative of my current writing skills!

Law could be quite crude if he so wished.

Maybe not around others, but it was generally known he was creepy and had a strange sense of humor. So while you shouldn’t have been surprised, you couldn’t help but be. The man had made comments which made you turn bright red with blush before. Whether it be totally alone and loudly spoken, or whispered into your ear to tease you while out.

Today was the former. You’d been sitting at the bed, trying to keep yourself entertained while he finished some late night work at his bedroom desk. He’d promised to reward you if you waited patiently for him.

He was about halfway through his work when he’d gotten an idea.

“y/n?” Law called to you, not turning away from his work.

“Yeah?” You answered, looking up, hopeful he’d announce that he was done.

“You’ve been good. I’m not quite done yet, but I want to reward you anyway.”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

He slowly stood up from his chair, grabbing kikoku from where it leaned against his desk, and approached you.

“I’ll allow you have some fun while you wait, okay?”

He hovered over you, and you simply stared at him in confusion. “Do you mean-“

“I’ll let you play with yourself,” he continued.

“But, Law… it’s just not the same-“ you tried protesting.

“It will be the same though,” he said. “My ability shouldn’t be used for shit like this, but…”

“Law!” You gasped. “Are you serious… you’re gonna chop your dick off?!”

He rolled his eyes. “You act like I’m actually cutting it. I can stick it back on, dumbass.”

You averted your eyes, “I know, but…”

But your focus was brought back on him as he grabbed your hips, lifting you up just enough he could hook his fingers around your panties and slide them down your legs. Before you could even process his first action, he was sliding his fingers along your folds, brushing against your clit in hopes to slicken you up.

“Law!”

“Shh. I’m just helping you,” he teased.

You let out a soft whine, throwing your head back as he began rubbing his thumb against your soft bud of nerves.

But then he pulled away, which caused you to whine in annoyance.

“Stop whining,” he snapped. “I can’t touch you and get it at the same time.”

So you waited, looking up at him in anticipation. He pulled the katana out of its sheath, setting the sheath on the ground next to the bed. With his free hand, you watched as he unbuckled his jeans and slid them down just enough that his cock was fully out.

“Room.”

The blue orb enveloped the area around him, and you weren’t quite sure if you were staring in horror or being turned on even more as he swung the katana in a downward motion, his entire length then falling into his left hand.

He held it out to you. But you continued staring at him. Definitely in horror. This was fucking weird.

“Are you gonna take it or not?” He asked, slightly annoyed.

You simply closed your mouth and took it from him, literally holding his cock in your bare lap, looking down at it. You could not believe this was real.

“I’m going to keep working. Do what you want as long as it’s not something weird.” He told you, pulling his jeans back up.

“Law, me just holding it detached from you is fucking weird.”

The man rolled his eyes once again before heading back to his desk, sitting down and resuming his work like nothing had even happened. Like you weren’t holding his cock in your hands. The way it twitched was just… so strange.

Well, you weren’t just gonna sit there and keep looking. So you got up onto your knees and crawled to lay on your back, against the pillows. You spread your legs open, brushing it over your cunt.

It was embarrassing how evident it was that you were turned on from the way your juices stuck to his cock in wet strings. He was going to tease you about this forever.

But at the same time, of fucking course nobody but the surgeon of death’s girlfriend would find this hot. It was right up his alley of a fucked up joke.

Pulling it away from your lower body, you brought it up to your lips, giving his tip a small kiss. It twitched, again.

It seemed like Law was fine with this, the way he just kept on working… so you pressed your tongue on the tip, licking up before wrapping your lips around him.

You could’ve sworn you heard him hiss.

You continued working it with your mouth, trying to get his cock wet enough with your spit that you could fuck yourself with it.

As you continued holding it with one hand, you moved your other one down to touch yourself. You were practically dripping now. You rubbed small circles into your clit, letting out a couple soft moans around his cock.

“Shit, y/n-ya-“

Law’s voice startled you. You looked over to see him with one hand on his thigh, fingers digging into the skin underneath his jeans. His other hand was laid against the desk in a tight fist. How was he supposed to get work done? Had he even thought this through fully?

Feeling satisfied with the wetness of both parts, you pulled his cock out of your mouth and rubbed it against your folds, your spit combining with your wet cunt’s juices to create a sort-of lubricant.

You moved the tip to be lined up with your throbbing hole, gently pushing it inside. He was hardly an inch inside of you, but you couldn’t help but let out a moan, your cunt clamping down on him as you continued to slide the rest of his length inside yourself.

“F-fuck, Law, you’re so… big, mmm.”

Your eyes were closed tight, so you couldn’t look over to see his reaction. But you could hear him hiss as you slid his cock in, and now you heard him letting out shuddered, shaky breaths.

You started moving his cock in and out, slowly increasing the speed of which you fucked yourself with it.

As your hand began moving faster, you started moaning louder, but then you found his member was becoming even more wet, your fingers slipping as you tried to keep up the fast pace.

Before you could even realize it was happening, your fingers slipped away and off his cock as you pushed it inside, and you opened your eyes to stare down in horror. Had you… gotten his cock stuck inside yourself?

“Law…”

“Wh-what?” He groaned.

“I… it’s stuck.”

“Stuck?” He questioned, voice dark. Were you playing some stupid prank on him? “Really now, y/n. That’s some bullshit, keep moving.”

“N-no. Law, I’m serious… it got too wet and my fingers slipped-“

Frustrated, he spun his chair around to see it was in fact no longer in your hands. Letting out an annoyed sigh, Law moved his hand up.

“Room.”

The blue orb was now surrounding you and him. Was he gonna switch something out with it?! Then you’d just have another object stuck-

You watched as he pulled his index and middle finger back, which pulled his member out without him even touching it.

Then he motioned forward, and it slammed back inside of you. You let out a scream, throwing your head back into the pillows.

He continued doing this, thrusting his cock in and out of you with just a flick of his fingers. He sped his motions up, in turn moving his cock into you at a faster speed, a speed that quickly turned inhumanly possible.

You cried out loudly as his cock relentlessly slamming in and out, your cunt aching as you instantly came, but he didn’t stop. He was going to do this until he came, probably.

Your moans turned into screams of pleasure as he continued. His hand that wasn’t controlling his member was gripping at his thigh, your screams drowning out his groans.

“Law, fuck! I, I can’t…”

“Can’t what?” He growled, too engrossed in his own pleasure to really care about overstimulating you.

“Baby, it’s too much! I, I’m-“

You let out probably the loudest moan you’d ever managed to make as you promptly began squirting, juices rushing out of your cunt and spilling onto the bed sheets underneath you.

Your cries of it being too much turned into messy babbling and loud moans as he continued thrusting in and out of you at a relentless, borderline painful pace. However, the pleasure you felt as you continued cumming outweighed the slight pain immensely.

“Shit, y/n. You’re being so good, I, fuck- can’t believe you’re squirting from this, huh? You’re ruining our bedsheets, cause you’re so turned on-“ he let out a loud hiss,” “from using me as your toy, hm? You’re such a dirty slut.”

“Law!” You screamed his name again, begging for him to stop at this point.

As soon as you did so, your boyfriend let out a moan, which was rare for him, and came inside you. His hot cum kept spilling into you, and you noticed his cock wasn’t moving at all anymore. It was simply sheathed inside you.

You opened your eyes to see Law on his knees, shaking and eyes dark as he calmed down.

“Shit. That was… more intense that I had thought it would be,” he mumbled, trying to regain his composure.

But you were exhausted, and simply let yourself fully fall back into the bed, closing your eyes and trying to steady out your breathing.

You felt his cock being slid out of your cunt, and heard the sound of his jeans unbuckling. He must’ve been reattaching himself.

When you opened your eyes, Law was at your side, leaning against the bed. He was staring at the mess between your legs.

You looked down to see a large stain between your legs, probably from you squirting. Right beneath the opening to your cunt was Law’s cum, spilling out from you. From what you could tell, he’d come a lot.

“Didn’t… know you… thought squirting was so… hot,” you said, out of breath from his intense fucking.

“Neither did I,” Law responded. “And now we have to change out the fucking sheets.”

You breathlessly giggled.

You felt Law lifting you up, sliding your panties back on for you. He carried you over to his desk chair, so you could rest at least a little while he changed the bed sheets.

When he was done, he’d changed into a pair of sweatpants and brought you back to the bed, laying down with you.

“Can’t believe you got my damn cock stuck inside of you.”

“Sh-shut up… it was slippery.”

“Whatever. At least now I know I can keep you filled up without having to physically keep myself inside.”

Your eyes went wide at his suggestion. Yet another one of his crude comments that left you blushing.

#jadedrrose lawctober event #law x reader #law x reader smut

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sugar-omi · 10 months

Note

Is it ok to make a request after the last one? Like everything about the eloping was just a dream in this one. And Mc is still married to Cove but after getting that nightmare they get all guilty over something that didn't happen and fear if they'd actually do something that would hurt everyone, especially Cove that badly. So they decided to isolate themselves somewhere no one would find them for a while with little explanation to Cove when they leave. Any location really like a cabin in the woods idk. They were supposed to be only there for a week then a woopsie happens and now they get stranded for more than a week. You're choice on how it ends and whether they tell Cove or not about the dream.

Seeing Cove suffer hurts me so I wanna see the MC suffer (more) :)

HAHA I LOVE IT, YESSS LET MC SUFFER !!!! also ik i wrote it as a "y/n" post but i was like imagining jamie as MC/"y/n" and inserting myself in cove's happy ending <3 lmaooo no one said "y/n" couldn't be someone else 😋 i imagine a lotta ppl read y/n fanfics with their oc's or the default name though too but yes tysm for this ask bc this heals my heart, this is smth i would do!!! one time i read 2 separate fics with character A died and in the other fic character B died n i was like "oh okay theyre happy together now<333" ITS SILLY BUT IT MADE MY HEART FEEL BETTER

[read the post mentioned above: "leaving cove for baxter"]

tags : Hurt/(No) Comfort, step 4/wedding dlc, nightmare about cheating, running away, keeping secrets, arguing <3 (cove snaps abt you leaving)

synopsis : you have a nightmare about leaving cove, so you run away to calm down. maybe you should've taken a different approach...

you wake up in a cold sweat that night.

you're shaking and trying not to wake up cove because his arms are wrapped tightly around you but you can't help the tears running down your face.

somehow you shake yourself from your husbands hold and go to the bathroom to cry...

that morning you're very distant, and since cove has to leave for work as he's been away for awhile for your wedding and honeymoon, he just kisses you and tells you that you will talk later.

when he comes home you sit him down and tell him that you've just going through a bit of depression and burn out, and that you're going to go visit lee for a week and come back.

cove frowns up, of course he understands what you're going through and he understands that things are hard but do you really need to go away?

"y/n, please. i understand you're going through something but, can't you stay? isn't there anything i can do for you?"

you shake your head, "i'm sorry, it's just 5 days and then i'm coming back. i just.. i just need some time."

cove feels a bit angry now, you just got married and everything was fine, you were happy yesterday and now you've done a total 180 overnight and won't let him help you!

"y/n you can't just leave, i really don't understand what's going on."

you shake your head, standing up and releasing your intertwined hands. "i just need a little break, i promise i'll be back soon."

you do go visit lee like you said, but after the 2nd day she leaving town for a show.

"i'm gonna miss you!" lee squeezes you in her arms, not wanting to let you go. "you just showed up, its gonna be forever before we see each other~" lee whines.

you laugh, patting her back. "its okay lee, we'll get together soon."

she pulls away, needing to leave soon if she doesn't want to miss the train. "okay.. i'll call you everyday! have fun on the rest of your trip, okay?" a worried look comes on lee's face, taking your hand in a soothing manner. "i hope you can work through that burn out."

you nod. yeah, burn out...

lee sticks her hand out the window, waving the whole way (thank god someone else is driving) until you can't see each other.

you sigh, walking to your car and make your way to the hotel you booked for the rest of the week...

the beach reminds you of your honeymoon... you aren't sure why you're torturing yourself like this.

you sigh, thinking about the dream. well, nightmare to be correct.

there was nothing inherently scary. but since it was from a first-person point of view, your mouth moving out of tune with your thoughts and everything happening so vividly, it was scary enough.

you feel tears well up in your eyes as you think about everyone's reaction.

would your ma really tell you to stay away from the house like that? and lee.. you can't imagine not talking to her.

fuck, you're crying... just thinking about everyone's disappointment and the scorn on everyone's face is enough to send chills down your spine.

you cringe, thinking about cliff and krya, their messages and how cliff looked so distraught when he saw you when he came for the last of cove's things on your nightmare.

you couldn't bare your in-laws hating you. cliff has always been someone important to you, and now he's your father-in-law. he's a sensitive soul as well, and he loves cove so much. of what had happened was real... oh man, the simple idea of how much regret cliff would have makes your body shake with sobs.

and even though you try not to think about cove's reaction to you leaving, its so prominent in your mind.

you start wiping at your tears, even though there's no one around since this is a little edge of beach off the edge of a hiking trail near your hotel, you feel so ridiculous for crying over this.

you sniffle and go to stand up.

it's getting dark, you've off the trail, and you have an early day tomorrow.

the only problem is... you're a bit lost.

you didn't realize how far you were. you're back on the trail but do you go left or right? does it matter if it all leads back to the hotel?

you swallow, you're so fucked.

everything is just going wrong.

first, you get lost on the shitty trail and don't find your way back until daybreak, and now your car isn't starting up, and the mechanic said it'll be a few days before they get it up and running.

you sigh loudly and fall back into the bed. thankfully, the hotel let you extend your stay so at least you have that going for you...

you startle from the sound of your phone ringing... it's cove.

you hesitate to pick up, you still feel sensitive, but you miss cove, and you've already texted him about the situation for the most part..

"hey, cove.."

"y/n! are you okay?" cove's worried voice crackles over the phone.

"yeah, i'm alright, uh.. listen, cove."

you trace the stitch pattern of the quilt on your bed. "apparently, it'll be a few days before the car is up and running. something about a busted something, i don't know what he said. i wasn't, uh, paying attention very well..."

cove sighs. "y/n... I'll come get you or something, and then we can talk about this, okay?"

you feel your heart pick up. "no! th-theres no need for all that, you just hold down the fort, tell the fish I said hi." you laugh shakily.

you can practically hear the frown in his voice. "y/n. why did you go on this trip, seriously. what are you hiding from me?"

cove's voice is rising and cracking with tears at the same time.

it breaks your heart. you can't answer him and it just makes cove more upset.

"do you regret marrying me or something? is that why-!"

"no!" you exclaim. suddenly regretting your outburst but you can't help but deny it since that's not it and you don't want cove to think that...

"then fucking tell me!" cove is obviously crying at this point. "all I know is my spouse left for a 'break' and is now telling me they don't want me to pick them up? be fucking serious y/n!"

you exhale shakily, wiping your own tears.

"i'm sorry..." you whisper, burying your face in your hand.

"sorry for what, y/n? leaving me after we just got married? lying to me? shutting me out?"

cove's voice is deep and his words have an edge.

he's right though, what are you apologizing for? you're acting out and letting your problem consume you...

there's silence, and then cove mutters over the phone.

"... do you not love me anymore?"

you snap up, sliding off the edge of the bed as you snatch up the phone. "no! it's not that! don't say that!" you cry, "I love you so much, cove! don't even think otherwise!"

cove is silent. since you can't see his face you can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"you know what i... i can't take this right now. I'll call you later."

the phone clicks.

now all you're left with is silence and your own thoughts...

when you finally come home it's 11:47 at night.

cove should be asleep but instead he greets you from the door.

you swallow, psyching yourself up to go to him.

something about the way he watches you from the moment you came into view on the street, to watching you pull your bags out the trunk and then maintaining eye contact (more like boring holes into you since you can't look him in the eye.) as you creep up the pathway to the door of your marital home.

he's silent. just watching. no "hi" or "I love you" or "I missed you, I barely survived while you were gone", just.. silence...

you finally look at him. his eyes are hooded with lack of sleep if the eye bags are any tellers, and yet he stands in front of the illuminated doorway like an unmoveable wall.

your heart skips and clenched. what if he doesn't want to let you back in?

you go to speak and he talks over you.

"was it worth it?"

you gape at him, frowning at his question.

"of course you can't say anything. what did I expect..." cove pinches his temples between his thumb and forefinger.

you gather up some words, uselessly trying to grasp for forgiveness.

"i.. i thought it'd be better if i worked things out on my own... i'm sorry.." you fiddle with the keychain on your luggage. "i shouldn't have done that and uh.. I'll deal with my problems without running away.."

cove watches you blankly. he can't believe you're serious.

"you're not gonna tell me, are you?"

you don't nod or shake your head. you just look at the ground and pray he forgives you.

he stands in front of the door for awhile longer, before he takes your luggage, a little more like snatching it since he grabs it by the side of the handle and tugs it out of your hands, pulling you forward.

"come inside. did you eat?"

you gape a bit, wondering how cove can care for you in a time like this but it reminds you more of a mother who's making sure her naughty child doesn't need anything else before they receive their punishment..

you shake your head. "i'm not hungry right now.."

cove doesn't nod or insist you eat like he normally would. "shower and go to bed then. I'll join you later."

you nod, letting cove's orders sink in.

the bath water is getting cold. and the sound of the echoed sound of water clapping against the edge of the tub makes you self-conscious.

you stand up, letting the water run off of you and robotically dry yourself with a towel before slipping into the clothes cove threw on top of the sink for you.

when you slip out of your bathroom, the bedroom is dark except for the moonlight coming through the window.

you tenderly tuck yourself into bed and close your eyes. waiting for something. anything. maybe for everything to become undone or for time to move past this.

just while you start to get deep into your thoughts, tears pooling in your eyes, cove's footsteps thump against the floor, and you halt your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

the bed dips on his side. you don't feel him leaning over you or getting into bed and so you turn around, looking at the broad expanse of his back and waiting.

"you're not gonna tell me, are you?"

you say nothing.

"not what's wrong? what happened? how can I help?" cove's desperate at this point. "nothing?"

you pause, fingers twitching because you want to reach out to him but if you did he'll just shrink away from you for sure.

"I don't know.." you finally mumble.

cove hangs his head, fiddling with something in his hand and he lays down without looking at you, flipping over once he's gotten under the covers.

you're both awake, there's no way he isn't and you touch his back.

he doesn't flinch like you thought, nor shake or tell you to fuck off.

so you creep closer. maybe that's a bad idea, wrapping your arms around him as the worst he can do is reject you but you missed him. and everything is eating you up that you just want his comfort..

he let's you, surprisingly.

you rest your forehead between his shoulder blades, curving your body against his.

you reach for his hands, finding them clenched weakly around something.

you wanna shake and cry when you realize it's his wedding band...

he let's you take it from him, and he holds onto your other hand that's tucked under his body.

you shakily slip the ring back on his finger.

maybe, maybe one day you'll tell him.

but when the next morning comes, and cove greets you with a bright smile and "good morning" that only has half his usual cheer, and he continues it for weeks until months have passed since then and it's as if nothing happened, you aren't sure you ever will.

#our life: beginnings & always #olba #cove holden #cove holden x reader #cove x reader #cove x mc #cove holden smut #cove our life #our life cove #cove holden x mc #cove holden x reader angst #angst #hurt/comfort #hurt/no comfort

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faeriemarie · 7 months

Text

how i tried to manifest a 1600 on the SAT and failed miserably 🤪

9/30/2023

Starting today, I will vaunt as the first thing I do every morning and the last thing I do before I go to bed at night.

10/4/2023

Today, I am taking my first practice SAT. It is Wednesday and it is my first day of studying. The SAT is on Saturday. I am listening to an SAT subliminal while I complete the 3 hour test. UPDATE: I got a 1280 on the practice test.

10/5/2023

Today, I am taking my second practice SAT. It is Thursday and it is my second day of studying. I am listening to a different SAT subliminal while I complete the 3 hour test. I am not feeling confident in the least, but we press on! UPDATE: I got a 1330 on the practice test and I only got 1 wrong on the reading section :)) most of my math mistakes were just silly and that's somehow worse than me not knowing the content. i still feel inadequate.

10/6/2023

Today I am only taking the math section. It is Friday and it is my 3rd day of studying. I listened to the same subliminal while I did this test. UPDATE: I got a 680 on the math section which is literally the highest it has ever been!!

10/7/2023

Today it is Saturday and the SAT is today in 25 minutes. Last night, I listened to my subliminal out loud all night (~7.5 hours). I also did a little prayer at my altar for Hera to help me since she is my deity of choice <3. And possibly a sign, I saw a rainbow driving to the test center and it was the brightest and most vivid rainbow I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I plan to keep up my vaunting until the scores come out so until then, wish me luck!! UPDATE: i think i did really bad. The reading section (which is normally my best section) was SUPER hard and I just filled in random bubbles at the end. I feel like an actual failure and my reading score probably will be in the 500s. The math section was easy and actually felt too easy. I don’t even know what to think. I probably just need to put it out of my mind and let life take its course…

10/18/2023

There are less than 48 hours until SAT scores come out… i am shitting my pants. i’ve been vaunting every morning and night but still like…. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i’m getting rejected from everywhere i apply for sure

10/19/2023

ahhh fuck fuck fuck 30-ish hours until the big reveal. im so nervous. my stomach is churning, i don’t even want to wake up tomorrow morning. let me just stay on thursday night forever and ever and ever. i can’t take it.

10/20/2023

12 hours, give or take… 3 hours, give or take… okay time for the BIG REVEAL: i actually got a 1300. math score went down but my reading score went up. at this point, i'm gonna have to superscore (even though that is far from being enough). my shifting break cannot end fast enough. i'm so miserable. i hate it here so much. i wanted this to be an inspirational post about how i'm such a master manifestor, but i'm a failure. i hate my life. i hate myself. i hate everything.

#loa diary ୨୧ #sub results ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა #subliminals #manifesting #manifestation #loa blog #loa #law of assumption #subliminal results #affirmations #affirm and persist #loa tumblr #loablr #loassumption #law of manifestation

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frogmanfae · 8 months

Text

Newsies as Things I Heard This Week Number 4

It's a long one

Medda: That was vewy scawy

Race: she did not just say vewy scawy in front of a class at 7 am on a Monday-

Blink: *shows duck earrings*

Elmer: *gasp* I love him his name is jaramiah

Blink: No

Elmer: Yes

Blink: All my ducks are nonbinary

Elmer: ...Their name is jaramiah then idfc

Davey: Can the sun just... Go away for a minute?

Race: Forever. It can just blow up and be gone

Davey: ...No then we'd all be dead

Katherine: Omg I love your outfit!

Sarah: Oh thank y-

Katherine: It's giving like... Rosie the Rivitor we can do it but like... Gay

Sarah: ...

Sarah: Thank you...? I actually love that hold on-

Hotshot: Why do you have 2 sandwiches??

Spot: One of them is for Race

Hotshot: Oh

Albert: Awww they're having a lunch date

Spot: *glares*

Albert: ...No response?

Spot: *GLARES*

Albert: Why are you looking at me like that?

Elmer: *shrugs*

Albert: ...Is it because I just swore really loudly and angrily from the other room?

Elmer: Yeah what was that about?

Albert: The spoons fell when I opened the silverware drawer

Elmer: That seems like an appropriate response

Albert: Shut up

Morris Delancey: Do you ever like see an Elephant shit and like... You like it? Like like like I don't know! But like! I liked it! I don't know! It's just like- *very clearly desperately trying to be relatable and floundering*

(I DON'T KNOW THE CONTEXT TO THIS IT WAS SOME GUY WALKING BEHIND ME IN THE HALLWAY)

Denton: *walking past a group of students eating lunch* Hey I just had triscuts today!

Davey, the guy who brought an entire box of triscuts: They're good right?

Denton: They've been around for 50 years! *leaves*

Race: ...Guys what's a triscut? ... What's a triscut???

Davey, about Romeo: He drank a whole can of tomato soup in the middle of band! Like uncooked unheated, not diluted, straight up- like who does that?? What is he- ashuguwah

Jack: She said we don't have total freedom in America because if we did you could just say you're hungry go to your neighbors house take their baby and eat it

Davey: ...Yeah I don't know what's happening right now but we have work to get started

Race: Om nom

Jack: What??

Davey: *pokes boob with bass drum mallet*

Sarah: *mid sentence* :0

Buttons: Look at me! The football fan! I loove NFL footba-

Crutchie: Shut the fuck up

Buttons: :0

Crutchie: You are a lying piece of they/them shit

Davey: *writing something on notebook paper*

Race: I asked you if you had note book paper and you said no!

Davey: No I didn't?

Race: Yes you did!

Davey: You came with me to my locker to get this??

Race, gay: *shows Jack a picture of a guy*

Jack, bisexual: Smash

Katherine, bisexual: Eh, pass

Jack: Of course you say that it's a guy

Katherine: I am attracted to men

Race: Uh huh

Jack: Hey do you ever think about color theory?

Race: Oh yeah all the time

Katherine: Uh wait back track what do you mean uh huh???

Romeo, watching a video of an artist slowly revealing his work: I'd tap. Not him, the drawing. Oh wait its of a woman nevermind

Race: *steals Davey's phone out of his lap* I just took your cock

Davey: *not paying attention, writing notes* oh I'm just making a...

Race: Did you hear me?

Davey, now realizing Race did not, in fact, ask him what he was doing: ...

Davey: *sigh*

Jojo: Look at this *shows Romeo a video*

Romeo: Ooh

Romeo: I'd fuck a... Biblically accurate angel...

Jojo: ...

Jojo: That's a weird kink

Elmer: I like shiny things

Buttons: Of course you do, faggot

Elmer: :0

Elmer: Periodt

Davey: *random noise random noise* I have autism *random noise random noise*

Race, watching asmr: Ooh I think I'm gonna like this... Oh yeah. Yeah I like that. Hot knife and gummy worm, that's a new kink

Davey: Pff-

Race: I wonder if if that says anything about me

Race: I'm gonna send you into epidemiological shock

Davey: Is that a thing?

Race: *looks at notes he's currently writing on epidemiology*

Romeo: Why are you fondling nuts like that

Albert: *drops Race's phone* oh shit-

Race: You!... Hooker!

Sarah: I wanna take my hoodie off but I'll look like a whore

Davey: I cried over harry potter’s dead parents yesterday

Race: the line has been drawn

Davey: Get off your phone!!

Race: Noo!

Davey: You have a concussion!

Race: I don't care!!

Davey: Brain damage is no joke!

Race: Ho life or no life

Sarah: Hey I also have a flannel on!

Davey: Woah

Sarah: You'll just never see it cuz I have a hoodie-

Davey: You're gay too!

Sarah, who has a whole ass girlfriend: Ew! Gross! Don't call me that slur!!

Albert: I don't understand why I can't just drink water it's like- gsgatsv!

Denton: ...Okay I'm gonna start class now

Elmer, talking about things he'll remember after high school: With the black mold trombone!!

Race: Black mold trombone will go down in history

Race: Okay but first, water bottle flip

Race: You know what makes me happy? Pheromones

Jack: Why are you so obsessed with pheromones??

Race: Because I- actually I'm not gonna say that

Specs: Did you know that nothing would happen if you threw a glass of water on the sun? *yelling* THIS IS BECAUSE THE WATER WOULD NOT REACH THE SUN

Crutchie: I miss covid

Denton: I just wanna watch the football and go home

Race: watch the football

Davey: watch the football

TW SH JOKE Jack: I hope all cutters go to hell. Not like arm cutters like line cutters. I'm going to hell anyway because I'm gay

Albert, singing a choir warm up at band: Mango mango mango mango mango mango mango mango banana banana banana whoo

Crutchie: I'm not in choir but I recognize that and I just realized you're autistic

Denton: That was weak. That was weak sauce. But I think it worked *enthusiastic thumbs up*

Elmer: I know my flowers

Spot: He does, he went to flower camp

Elmer: I did, it was fuckin SICK

Denton: Good news, you both exist!

Jojo: It's good to exist!

Crutchie: ...Okay

Spot: I'm gonna eat you and kill you

Davey, out of nowhere: *soft gasp* heliocase...

Race: Can you imagine if cells bullied each other? Like like "pff- you got a goofy lookin nucleas, idiot"

Spot: I'm gonna eat you, chew you up, and show your pieces to the world

Albert: Imagine just getting home from a long day of work and you just get c o n s u m e d

Elmer: It's super pretty cool

Jojo: Super pretty cool?

Elmer: Super pretty cool

Jojo: Oh nice

Race: I can't get embarrassed

Albert: You-

Albert: But-

Race: I've never been embarrassed in my life

Race: Yeah I don't even think I'd know what that feels like

Spot: What about when you got something nicknamed the "toddler disease" as an adult

Race: :0

Race: Look that's-

Spot: Even if you're not embarrassed, you *should* be!

Race: :00

Spot: Loser! With your toddler immune system !!

Race: Thats just dirty

Davey, a science teacher: What did you get out of reading this study? (About an experiment performed on lizards)

Class: *silence*

Davey: Did you.... Did you like it or-

Splasher, a student: Lizard...

Davey: What was that?

Splasher: For my senior pictures I'm gonna have a bearded dragon

Davey: Uh... Okay did you like the study or-?

Medda: I would never get rid of any of my beloved cello players!

Medda: ...

Medda: *holds up L on forehead*

Race: Pff-

Medda: No! I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I wouldn't get rid of Romeo!

Romeo: :0

Sarah: *zoning out in class, internally* omg his pockets are really deep

Denton: We've all heard that phrase before, we know what that means-

Myron: *has never heard the phrase ever* We? All??

Spot: *threateningly* you'll be the next lizard I test

Davey: *about science* it's like lasagna. It makes you want to choke but you love it because it's your favorite food

Denton: You should read the titles of some of these studies. I mean some of the TITLES are like a paragraph long I can only imagine what the articles are-

Denton: I suppose that's an analogy you could make

Romeo: It's just like Fall Out Boy for real

Jojo: Does that mean if I step on a baby I'm 72℅ Jesus? (I have no idea what this was about)

Davey: *sneezes*

Sarah: How dare you!

Katherine: *at the same time* bless you

Davey: Thank you, KATHERINE

Albert: I run at 5:40 every morning

Finch: Why would you-

Albert: I don't like it :(

Jack: Man come 8pm and I am WORTHLESS

Medda: I know student schedules are very busy so I won't give you any homework so you guys can focus on... Whatever you do... Homework, practices, jobs, injecting lizards with bacteria...

Katherine: I'm an advocate for highlighters I will always support highlighters

Jack: 🤨

Katherine: I support highlighters rights

Race, a scientist in the middle of a big project, exhausted out of his mind: *on the phone* honey, I- I can't watch the kids tonight. I got all these lizards to invest with bacteria and they're all dying and it's my- I did this to them

Spot, also exhausted out of his mind: And you did the kids to me you better get your ass home!

Davey: *loudly cracks his back*

Crutchie: ... BRO-

Davey, as if this happens a lot but this time in particular was bigger: That was intense

Denton, freshman academic biology teacher: It's that time of year where all the freshmen are like "I hate academic biology academic biology is so hard!" and all the sophomores taking advanced chemistry are like "I miss academic biology academic biology was so easy..." *big sigh* it's the same every year. Falls right in line with the pumpkin spice

Buttons: You can't make jokes like that, Mr. Denton

Denton: Yes you absolutely can and you should it was a good one

Davey, teaching a class: I have an occasional glass of red wine but other than that I'm not too wild

Les, a student in said class: Oh please

Davey: ...What?

Les: You heard me

Race: If you were a woman, you were a prostitute. It's what you did

Katherine: What history class are you in??

Crutchie: The sun is blindi- oh my god! What iss that??

Finch: It's new with the reset

Crutchie: What is that bright... /thing/??

Finch: It came with the latest update

Denton: Your lungs look like a carpet! A very outdated carpet, nobody makes carpet like that anymore. When I was a kid everyone's grandma had that carpet

Davey: Anyone else think that's super cool?

Everyone else: *silence*

Davey: Just lie to me

Race: Whoo!

Jack: Incredible!

Albert: So dope!

Davey: Yeah! There we go! Awesome!

Blink: Anyone? Just a piece? A little piece of inflammation?

Elmer, about Pulitzer; I don't think he sleeps.

Crutchie: Pff-

Elmer: No seriously. He responds to emails at midnight and he's at the school by 4 am. And he lives like 2 towns away.

Crutchie: Holy shit

Elmer: I know

Spot: Yeah! I got a jar and you don't!

Albert: Disgustingly gross child of Satan.

Race: Noo don't say that about yourself!

Albert: That's my dad. Satan.

Race: Oh. I mean yeah.

Race, a physics teacher: Alright! Sorry for the interruption, we were saying-....

Race: ...

Race: Position time graph! We-

Race: ...

Race: What were we talking about? Slope!

Davey: *drops paper* that's unfortunate

Sarah: What's up with that? It's like 2 pieces of paper. You can't handle 2 pieces of-

Davey: Shut the fuck up

Crutchie: Cholera! Hello!

TW SUICIDE JOKE Crutchie: You're the cell

Jack: What?

Crutchie: The cell is like "kill me please" you're the cell

Jack: :0

Davey: And then you walk into your- SNEEZE CLOUD!!!

Davey: I'm so gay, I love Crash Course with Hank Green

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starrtoon · 3 months

Note

Question pal, have you had any interest watchin' H*zbin H*tel now that its out (just censored in case you wanna avoid having the fans on your tail) & if so, what did you think and if not, I'm curious as to why! Just because I know you've done art for it & stuff before. (Obviously you don't need to explain yourself, I'm just curious. I know that I watched the whole thing because I couldn't suck myself out of it and there are bits and pieces I enjoy in a more solo-context but others I (Christian) take pretty heavily as like....I don't like it. Big parts feel very off, even with the themes on redeming sinful souls and such. So I just wanna see your thoughts on it if possible as another Christian for some perspective.)

ok, so... yes I watched the first 4 episodes. (through Kimcartoon 😏)

possible spoilers below(?)

besides the OBVIOUS blasphemy and biblical inaccuracies, the show does have a lot of issues with writing and pacing. I didn't laugh at ANY joke in those 4 episodes (though Angel calling Vaggie the actual V word almost got me for some stupid reason 🤷‍♀️)

I don't like some of the VA changes they did, Vaggie sounds bland, Husk's voice doesn't really fit the design of the character IMO, and even tho she isn't a big/important character I DO NOT LIKE THE NEW VOICE THEY GAVE KATIE KILLJOY. I got used to all the other VAs, and kinda prefer the new voice for Alastor over the old. also I would like to congratulate the show for being the first to make canon ships feel like unbelievable cringe fanon ships (the cat and spider, and snake and cherry)

I'll also sometimes scroll through the tag on twitter to see what's going on and what criticisms other people have, like with the whole Angel Poison episode (and which imo when she hires a storyboarder that has a r4p3/n0nc0n f3t1sh to do it, I think that's pretty messed up)

and of course I find out in the episodes I haven't seen they added St Peter and made him a white guy with blond hair, same with making Adam white (I dunno if Adam coulda been darker irl but 🤷‍♀️) as I said in a post on twitter, it's clear Vivz has some animosity towards Christians/Christianity so she's gonna twist and be inaccurate. (true accuracy wouldn't even allow her show to exist, as Adam's song has some truth in it "Hell IS forever" so there'd be no chance of redemption)

[SPOILER] I've noticed from some posts that they got Pentious to heaven, so I see that it actually IS possible for the sinners to be redeemed.

will I watch the new episodes? when I get around to it. I'd say the show is 90% trash. and even tho I don't necessarily like it, nor Vivz as a person, I still like some of the characters (and their designs) even if I don't agree with their actions. if anyone has a problem with me still drawing characters while '''hatin''' on the show, they can just deal with it tbh 😏

#starryask #starryart #I wouldn't call this show a guilty pleasure. but bc I was interested in the pilot and concept of the story-#-I can't help but to watch to see how it'll all play out.#also I read her Z00ph0bia webcomic and watched her animations long ago so she was kiiinda an 'art inspiration' for me.

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fixfoxnox · 1 year

Note

When I first started reading SitO I had no idea who Jackson was and when I looked him up and saw he was the guy you play in the nuke mission in the original MW I was so glad to see you use him because the part where he dies was one of the only two scenes I remembered from that game. Recently I learned there were scrapped mission objectives that were going to have him survive the nuke. Now all I can picture is Jackson's survival being a well known thing in military circles and him making cracks about it to other people because whose gonna tell the guy that got nuked he can't joke about it? "Gaz please, this mild fever is nothing compared to the heat of the nuclear bla-" followed by Gaz trying to suffocate him with a pillow. He and Ghost start trying to out dark humor each other about their trauma while everyone around them is horrified.

AJDNNFJFJF NO PLEASE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT JACKSON IS SO EXCITED ONCE THE 141 KNOWS ABOUT THE REBIRTH STUFF SO HE CAN FINALLY CRACK JOKES ABOUT DYING

"Jackson don't do that, its dangerous."

"Can't be worse than a nuke lmao"

Gaz: *doing anything*

Jackson: damn, you make me hotter than that nuke did baby holy shit

Gaz absolutely hates it. Ghost is actually getting along with Jackson for the first time since knowing him. Soap is horrified every time. Price is silently resigned. Roach has been dealing with this for years (Roach has Jackson in his contacts as "🍄☁️" and Roach is in Jackson's phone as "🔥🪳" no one but them and Ghost think that its funny)

I also know Jackson would drop a "Where's another nuke when you need one" when he's in any situation that he doesn't want to be in lmao

Also I've lowkey been very surprised at how many people have told me that they didn't know Jackson before reading my fic. I really shouldn't be surprised since he only has like 4 missions though andjfnnfnf

It lowkey makes me wonder if there are people who think/thought that Jackson was an OC when I first introduced him. ALSO I WISH THAT JACKSON LIVED OMG

Fun facts about when I played Jackson's missions:

When I got to his first mission it took me like 30 minutes to do because I didn't realize I wasn't playing as Soap anymore (I talk a lot while playing games and was not paying attention bdbfjfnf)

So they're calling for Jackson to go do things and of course I don't realize I'm Jackson, so in my head I just have to wait for this npc to do something before I can continue. So for like 30 minutes I'm sitting there listening to them scream for Jackson to do something and I'm like "Damn this Jackson guy needs to get his shit together this is taking forever"

Then eventually I just went and did it and they were like "good job Jackson" and I was hit with the sudden realization of "oh shit I'M JACKSON"

Also after the Nuke cutscene happened, I was still like chilling and legit said outlook to myself "wow, I wonder how his next mission is going to handle this" like two seconds before they flashed the KIA on the screen sjdnfnnfnf

I am also deeply chaotic while playing Jackson for some reason like I full on do the dumbest shit while playing his missions snfjfbbf it took me forever to get through them on veteran cause I kept getting run over by the tank lmao

#thoughts with luke #you asked luke #something in the orange #paul jackson

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cakemousse · 1 year

Text

along the moonlit path

Ladybug and Chat Noir are tucked into blankets on a rooftop, enjoying each other’s company like any other midnight rendezvous they have had. Totally what partners frequently do together!

Rating: T, Words: 1276, Chapters: 1/1

Read on AO3

@ladynoirjuly , 4 months later?

━━━━━━

“How’s the Chouquettes, mon Chaton?”

“Excellent!” he chews on another. “How’re the roses, my Lady?”

She has been sniffing the flowers ever since Chat Noir gave them to her once he lands on the rooftop. “Sweet, I’m going to hang them by their feet!”

The one Chouquette that’s being catapulted into his mouth almost missed its destination.

“What?”

She giggles. “What?”

“Why would you hang them!!” He whines and crawls over from his spot of blankets and pillows to hers, coming right into her face.

What a kitten. Ladybug wonders if he’s like this when he’s not Chat Noir.

She really wants to know.

“So that they last forever, silly,” she boops his nose as he pouts.

“But you’re supposed to admire their beauty!”

“That I’m doing Chaton. They haven’t exactly left my face the moment you gave them to me,” Ladybug wiggles the roses a bit in her hands, “but I prefer to still have them a few years down the road.”

He plops right beside her, grumbling, “But Buguinette, they won’t look fresh anymore.”

She scratches his chin, “Trust me Chaton, they might change a little, yes, but they’ll still be as beautiful as before.”

Chat Noir purrs, closing his eyes at the sensation. “Show them to me once you’re done hanging them by their feet.”

She runs her fingers through his hair, “Of course!”

Chat Noir moves in and rests his head on her shoulders. He takes a piece of Chouquette from the packet and brings it to her mouth aimlessly, and Ladybug moves to bite it from his hand.

“You're planning to share that right?”

He looks down into the packet.

“Er…”

“Chat Noir!”

He takes shelter from her as Ladybug starts raining down soft blows on him with her pillow. “Shh! My Lady, it’s past midnight, keep it down!”

“Nobody sleeps past midnight in Paris, now come here!”

They continue their pillow fight, except it isn’t exactly one when Ladybug is chasing Chat Noir and hitting him with her pillow while he runs away and protects himself from her harmless swings. Both having fun and not really caring how loud they get as they laugh at the top of their lungs, and that’s when Ladybug finally catches him.

They end up on Chat Noir’s section of the makeshift blanket bed, Ladybug sitting on him while he protects his face with his arms from her attacks.

She throws her pillow beside his head and takes her yo-yo, reaching in to pull out another packet of Chouquettes.

Chat Noir stares at her hands, wide-eyed. “We went through all of THAT, only for you to already have another packet?!”

Ladybug smirks as she rolls off of him, plopping into the spot next to him, “You’re telling me you'd rather not play?”

He puffs his cheeks and immediately tries to steal the packet from her again.

“Chat Noir! NO!” Ladybug hurries to shove as many Chouquettes into her mouth as possible.

He seizes the packet, “Oh no you don’t!”

They continue wrestling until the remaining Chouquettes fall onto the blankets.

“Now wef nouere to sheep!” she crosses her arms and munches aggressively to get all the food down.

“Ue do,” Chat Noir grabs Ladybug to get her to stand somewhere else, and he gathers the ends of the blankets and starts shaking the crumbs off, all the while chewing. He then flips it over so that they have a clean area to sleep on. Once the blanket looks like how they first were, he swallows, “et voilà !”

“Ew.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, my Lady. What do you mean ew? May I remind you that we nap together after Akuma battles? After we actually sweat?”

Ladybug sticks her tongue out at him and returns to the blankets, easing herself into them. “I’m gonna sleep, nights.”

“Hey!!” Chat Noir dives into the blankets, coming face to face with her, “who sleeps this early in Paris?” he grins.

She groans and tosses the blanket away, taking her flask and two cups from their picnic basket situated beside their sleeping spot. “Okay, fine, here,” Ladybug pours the contents of the flask into each cup, “have your hot chocolate so you’d feel tired.”

“What am I, seven?”

Ladybug raises a brow at him.

Chat Noir grumbles and leans against her, drinking his hot chocolate. “Miam, this feels so homey!”

She lightly hits her cups against his, “cheers!” and leans into him as well, taking sips from her cup. “Mhmm! This is delicious!”

“Share the recipe with me?”

“Sure,” Ladybug replies as her hand absentmindedly travels into her hair to pull the twin ribbons off.

Chat Noir starts rubbing his head against her shoulders and she looks at him, brows raised.

“Tie your hair ribbons onto mine?”

Ladybug bursts out a laugh, “You’re very needy aren’t you, mon Chatounet.”

“What can I say?” he flips his hair and grins, “Kittens are very needy creatures.”

She sets her cup down and turns around to see Chat Noir already lying before her on his belly and his head on his pillow.

Ladybug chuckles at the sight and moves to his side, allowing herself to be closer to him to work on his wild mop of hair. She takes just enough to tie circles around his hair, giving him a pigtail that is similar to hers, yet all the more shorter. The tiny amount of hair sticking out from the ribbon resembles a bunny’s tail, and it’s too cute of a sight to ignore. Ladybug gently tugs at them, much like how an unsuspecting victim would run their hand over a cat’s tail.

Chat Noir shifts slightly, but she pays him no attention as she wonders how it’d feel like to run her bare hands into his hair. Would it be as soft as a kitty’s fur? She wouldn’t stop running her fingers through them if that were the case. They are the softest things she has ever had the pleasure of laying her hands upon, and now she’s just hoping his hair is as soft as those are.

They better be!

But with how easily she’s combing his hair, Ladybug knows that that would be the case.

Tying hair ribbons shouldn’t have taken this long, but Ladybug’s so engrossed with running her fingers through his hair that she still has yet to tie the other half of his hair. The soft purrs that reverberate around the open space and the lightweight now present on her thighs bring her out of her trance.

Chat Noir has the left side of his face pressing against her thighs; the side of his hair not yet done up is left exposed for her to do her magic. Ladybug should’ve been upset at him for messing up her work, but she finds herself not bothered by that fact. Not when she is free to stare at him for as long as she likes.

The purrs that she loves to listen to have stopped since she came out of her daze, and Ladybug continues to pet his hair, once again wishing that she could remove only the hand area of her magical suit to feel his locks against her palms.

His purrs fill up the air around them again, and Ladybug finally works on tying the rest of his hair into the pigtails she’s frequently associated with.

Now that she’s done, Ladybug has all the reasons to push him off of her lap. But even with the possibility of suffering from leg cramps after, she finds herself not minding that one bit.

Not when she gets to be this close to him and gaze at his beautiful blissful face uninterrupted.

#mesfics #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #fluff #just plain fluff #they are so stupid #and married #along the moonlit path

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bigskydreaming · 1 year

Text

Welcome to Kalen Tries a Life Hack/Brain Hack, brought to you by....well, me.

So certain obvious things are obvious: I’ve been struggling for awhile, the whole being off my meds thing for months cuz of the Adderall shortage hit me HARD, and the number one thing I need to actually build and move forward and get out of eternal debt and accomplishing actual goals is a degree of stability.

I’m eternally grateful for every donation people have given me over the years and its literally kept me alive and off the streets at times. But ebegging sucks, nobody likes doing it, and its not sustainable.

Thing is, I’ve been talking about getting a steady patreon up and running forever but like, there’s always a reason why it doesn’t happen. Part of that is because of the basic nature of how things compound when you lack resources and have issues to address on multiple fronts. New problems demanding my time and attention constantly pop up while adding to stress and affecting my overall mental state and productivity. Part of that is the fact that I am my own worst enemy when in states of high stress, low meds, and minimal resources.

I get caught in loops where I convince myself that the only way forward or to validate the help I’ve been given or asked is via some big grand production that of course never materializes because haha if I were in a state where I could reliably create the product I want on the timetable I need, most of my problems would take care of themselves. But also I have a tendency to try and pull a former life hack I used to rely on, the whole ‘when my executive dysfunction is particularly bad, use pressure and deadlines to try and force myself to produce’ which y’know....may have worked at previous points in my life but I was in very different places then and bottom line, it just flat out doesn’t work for me now, so it just ends up as overpromising and flaking out with no actual gains to show for it.

So I’m trying a different approach. I’m just putting it out there, this is what it is, and I’m starting small in complete opposition to my usual (and not working) attempts. I’ve opened up a discord for my fics and original projects and am listing the tiers of my patreon below. I’m following this up with complete rundowns of everything I have SOMETHING for, to some degree or another:

1) Teen Wolf fanfics

2) Original fantasy works

3) Dick Grayson fanfics

4) Original sci-fi works

5) X-Men fanfics

6) Original superhero works (my original superhero universe, the Ellis Eighteen ‘verse)

I’ll tackle the Teen Wolf stuff following this post, and then try and do the rest one day at a time. That’s the gist of the life hack: just going with the philosophy something is better than nothing. None of these do me any good just sitting on my computer and I’m flat out, literally just never going to reach a stable enough place where I AM just able to complete and release any of them in their complete form, the way I’d like, if I keep overshooting without ending any further along.

So I’m just gonna try building it one day at a time, growing it with the support of people who are interested enough in what there is now to want to see more and help me get more out there, until bit by bit I eventually reach actual completion on some of them.

Any and all of these can be followed up on in my discord server should any catch your eye enough to want to try just a trial’s month - with this next month being much the same for me, as I see how viable this is and how well I’m sticking to it, versus what changes I can make to make it more effective.

My blog isn’t going anywhere, the server is just entirely for fic and original projects and all things related to them, but my usual inanity will persist, I do want to try to get back to writing meta and stuff and being more active in my fandoms, hopefully once I get back on my meds and get a little more grounded.

My existing patterns of posting and interaction aren’t contingent on people donating or joining my discord - I don’t intend for much to change here. And I’m not saying like ‘from now on I’m only posting my writing to my discord’ or anything like that. Its literally just for people who want to help support me while I add to my existing content, are fine with or interested in more of my content even in incomplete stages, are interested in commissioning ‘writing time’ on specific projects of their choice while I do my writing directly in the server....and once I do have a new complete chapter of a fic or complete one-shot, etc....that’ll still get posted for anyone to read. Same as how I still intend to publish or self-publish original projects once they reach completion.

Its like I said: I just can’t deliver completion in a timely, reliable fashion the way I want, as is, and I can’t make guarantees on when complete projects will materialize without it just ending up more empty promises. THIS I at least can deliver on, and use it to build to something bigger and more complete. *Shrugs* I’d rather get something out there than just continually shifting goalposts about when something will be out here.

SO!

All that said, below are the tiers I’m going with. I literally don’t even have the patreon itself made yet because a) I’ve used ‘I still have to make that’ as an excuse not to do this too many times so I literally just said fuck it and opened up a new post and started typing this instead, lol and b) Patreon does only pay out monthly and not going to lie, could really use donations in the meanwhile as I’m trying to get a new prescription appointment ($180 now thanks to my psychiatrist raising their rates, yay) for different ADHD meds since Adderall still isn’t reliably in stock and they won’t switch my prescription over to something I haven’t tried out yet without a new appointment (and those meds will likely be in the $50-$90 range).

SO I literally am just posting this now, with my paypal and ko-fi links, but the discord itself is already up if anyone wants to just donate directly and ask for a direct discord link/invite and then I’ll add the link to the actual patreon as soon as its up, but also, if you go the donation route you can try this out and see if its worth it to you this month before actually signing up for the patreon or trying a different tier.

TIERS

1) $1 tier: No rewards offered, I've seen this done by other people who have regular platforms they create content on and don't charge anything so its like a completely opt-in "hey if you just like my blog and content in general, would like to see me be able to make a go of being a creator and support that in general because you think I come up with interesting stuff, this is super helpful and appreciated" thing. I know a lot of people don’t think $1 makes a difference, but literally just $1.39 buys a thing of pasta that can feed me for two days if need be, and a couple more bucks from someone else gets some sauce, lol. Trust me, if you’re ever like “I’d like to support him but only have an extra buck or two and don’t know if that would make a difference” - it does, and is still super appreciated!

2) $5 tier: As stated, I’ve set up a discord where anyone can start threads for literally any of my fanworks, Teen Wolf, Dick Grayson, and X-Men, and ask what I have available as is on that particular project, pick my brain about it, engage me on it in the hopes it leads to me dedicating my next writing session to it if I’m not already planning to write something else in specific, etc. This tier gives people access to it, so they can see the stuff I don't have published or released because its not finished yet, or I’ve written parts non-linearly, and there’s a specific scene they were hoping to see in the fic later on and wondered if that’s written yet, etc. Plus this is where I’ll do all my fanfic writing sessions when I am actively working on a new chapter or something, because I LIKE to write in real-time on things like discord (I used to write fic in a messenger app with Moukie. I didn’t even need them reading it or responding, just knowing someone was 'there' made it easier for me to write, just makes it easier to shut up and write or get the words to come).

So I figure might as well try and make it a two-fer: for five bucks people can get access to stuff that might not be finished yet (or even ever) but still could be interesting or enjoyable to them, but also can read along as I work on stuff that I'm actively trying to update, even if I still end up with more to go in that chapter or fic and thus its not ready to update yet by the end of a writing session

3) $10 tier: Exact same thing as the $5 tier, which is also included with this one, but this one also gives access to the separate forum I’ve opened up for my various original projects I'm working on or at least started/got a sizable dent into even if they ended up discarded (at least for now). Again, this one is primarily for people who want to support me in general, free up time from constantly stressing about being able to afford food and meds and wasting so much time looking for more freelance opportunities or work - which basically doubles the amount of time I spend ‘working’ every day without anything to show for most of it. This allows for more writing time in general, but at least comes with something to show for it, and like, I figure anyone who genuinely thinks 'hey I think this guy can write/would buy his book' could find something to interest them in here, especially since it also includes the same 'read-along' option for my literal WIPs when I’m doing a writing session on one of them.

4) $15 tier: Both previous tiers are included, but with this tier people also get the option of picking a story from any of the fandom or original projects I have up on my server, and making it the focus of one of my writing sessions that month. They can do it either as a prompt "hey would like if you dedicated one of your writing sessions to working on this particular project this month, whenever that happens to be" or if they want, they can try and coordinate a time for that writing session, as in I’d go "these are the hours I typically do my writing these days, pick when you'd like to see me work on this story," either cuz they'd like to read along, or its earlier in the month, or like, they have that day off and thus its a good day for re-reading that project or maybe getting an update on it, etc.

Typically, my writing sessions tend to be at least an hour, anywhere up to around six hours, so this tier guarantees that at least one hour of writing time that month would be focused on a particular project. But as much as I hop around between projects in general, I don't switch between projects in the same single writing session, so practically speaking, it would likely be more than just a single hour, and could even result in an entire chapter update on chaptered works. I just know I can guarantee the hour, whereas I can’t guarantee 'oh this will for sure be a five hour writing session' and thus I went somewhat higher than like, a wage for an hour's work, but not like, super high? As I figure its more likely to land somewhere in the middle, length of time-wise. But also, depending on how this actually goes this first month, I might end up adjusting my approach to this tier or the price level, etc.

5) $25 tier: This one includes all the same access and rewards provided by the lesser tiers as well, but with the additional reward that in addition to getting to set the agenda for one writing session that month, you get to also set that same project or a different one as a 'boosted priority' for the month. What this means is - in the interests of maximizing the gains of having people thwart my indecisiveness over what to work on, lol - whatever you pick here will go on a shortlist of projects that are my go-to's for the month, any time I have a writing session I don't already have a prompt for, or a personal desire to focus on a certain project.

Basically, its a way of creating my short list of 'To Turn To In Case of Indecisiveness' any time I am being stalled by indecisiveness, rather than other external issues, and any 'prompted' writing sessions are already scheduled or used up. So this one comes with caveats....I want to make it clear that 'how much' people get out of this one is NOT something i can guarantee, as it'll depend on how many writing sessions I can squeeze in that month overall, whether or not I have a particular project that's on the brain enough that I'm going to it regularly, just based on my own choice/momentum, stuff like that.

But the plus side of this one is if the $15 tier is of interest to people, and its worth it to get to be able to ask for several hours' worth of productivity/output on a particular story of mine.....this tier potentially replicates that same thing multiple times throughout a month and can lead to a lot of progress on a certain single story. So potentially, way more bang for your buck. It is more of a crapshoot, but worst case scenario, you're still likely to get at least two writing sessions geared towards a story you're interested in, for less than double the cost of your patronage of one writing session...but best case scenario, in a month where I don't have a ton of other pressing projects demanding my attention, this could keep me engaged with your project of choice regularly throughout the month, with the increased output to show for it.

Either way, people are still likely to end up with way more output of their choice/liking due to this than they ever would have if I were just sitting in front of my computer playing 'how much time can I waste doing nothing productive while claiming its just cuz I need to Make The Right Choice of what project to be productive on.'

All that said:

I'm focusing just on time rather than length/word count at the moment just because mentally its a lot easier/less stressful for me to think 'oh I know for sure I can make sure they receive the time I guaranteed I'd focus/devote to this in exchange for their patronage' because its a lot easier for me to just show up and start writing than it is for me to look at a set length of fic I need to complete within a certain timeframe - as the latter is a lot more likely to suck me into one of my weird spirals where completion becomes the enemy of productivity.

Anyway.

I think that’s everything, thank you as always for hearing me out and your consideration even if you don’t end up giving this a whirl. No expectations here, I have no idea how well or not it might work out, but its something new to try because previous approaches just aren’t working but I’m not throwing in the towel, just.....reconfiguring for a new run at achieving some long-term stability and productivity. This at least is a lot more geared towards navigating around my particular issues with my ADHD and executive dysfunction and finding a way to hack them even when I’m not on meds. So, let this experiment begin I guess? LOL. The end.

My links:

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US

https://ko-fi.com/kalenp

And again, if you want to go ahead and give one of these tiers a try via a donation, you can hit me up directly for a discord invite, or if you prefer more anonymity/distance, you can just wait for the patreon with a more automated/streamlined process. You can also upgrade to a different tier later of course, and let me know if you have specific questions.

Thank you again!

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