#note to self note to self note to self
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"maybe if i dress more boring i'll get gendered correctly by strangers" that's the devil talking
#ramblings with major#just thinkin about it#do NOT listen. dress as weird as possible always#never give up your whimsy for the sake of acceptance from people whose opinions you should not care about#this is a note to self mostly but AUGH
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saw I trap: hey girlie! this guy is dead. but he has a key in his tummy!! could you get it out to save yourself??
saw traps II and up: preform brain surgery on yourself then eat your own arm then watch your wife be brutally murdered then melt all your skin off with this acid then kill 7 innocent bystanders. you have 45 seconds. now you'll think twice about taking antidepressants.
#check the notes for a surprise visitor :))#fun fact i made this post before i watched saw x and successfully predicted the self brain surgery trap#saw 2004#saw franchise#amanda young#hollytalks!
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No you cannot fix your entire life at 2am. Go to bed.
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knuckle tat ideas
FULL BUSH
YAOI YURI
BUTT STUF
SPAM CALL
WARM BEER
GUNK SLOP
FROT TAGE
SELF HARM
LOVE WINS
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Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, vol. IV: 1944-1947
#typography#anaïs nin#anais nin#the diary of anais nin#diaries#we are never trapped unless we choose to be#💔#note to self
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Some of y’all act like basic manners, general human decency, and kindness to others is SO MUCH emotional labor. I don’t like that shit.
#blktumblr#black tumblr#blackgirlthoughts#black girl magic#90s baby#black women#note to self#black twitter#black tweets
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#love notes to no one#love#show love#love poetry#peace and love#i love you#self love#gay love#love wins#positvevibes#positivepostoffice
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You are going to laugh until your stomach hurts again. You're going to be in awe of a sunset. Watch your favorite show while you eat your favorite food. Find money on the street. Discover a great band you haven't heard of before. You will find your way back.
#mental health#self love#recovery#self care#kindness#positivity#happiness#note to self#journal entry
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One thing I’ve noticed about people in or entering their 30s is they don’t make as many compromises anymore. If someone doesn’t meet them halfway, is not up to standard, is just not where they’re needed to be, they’re just like “ok cool” and they move on from the person. Which is not to say they’re less empathetic or understanding, but more that they have learned that time is their most prized possession and they’re not willing to make massive compromises on it. They are not obsessed w the idea of fixing someone (bc the concept of fixing a person doesn’t really exist). They simply move on to someone who is up to par. I want that. I want to always move w the awareness that time is my most priceless belonging and I can never buy it back. Ever. So I have to use it wisely
#not just when it comes to ppl but w opportunities too!#w not wasting your energy on negativity#w always seeing the big picture etc etc#i just want to always move from a place of ‘is this expending time that could be best spent elsewhere?’#just a note 2 self while I navigate how to spend my time#which includes dedicated studying & reading more consistently & moving my body & enjoying nature & telling someone I love them <3#we will be alright#text
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Birds of a Feather
previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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tips on refrigerator ownership for the mentally ill
1.) letting food go bad does NOT make you a Bad Person.
2.) it is okay to throw out only one thing at a time. even especially if there are a lot of expired things in there.
3.) give yourself permission to throw out tupperware once in a while.
#mental health#adhd#mental illness#notes to self#idk if anyone else will find this helpful or relatable lmaoo i don’t know if these are universal or common problems….#like maybe most people don’t develop a guilt complex about their tupperware.#but i definitely did. so
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Being jurgen leitner the day that gerry almost killed him was probably really surreal. Imagine you’re minding your business, collecting fucked up books, and out of nowhere this goth guy covered in eye tattoos shows up and beats you half to death, then stops, goes, “no you’re too pathetic to be jurgen leitner” and leaves without further elaboration. And you dont correct him, you like being alive after all, and after that you just… continue with your life. And then several years later you tell this to some random guy in the tunnels you’ve been hiding in, and he not only knows who the goth was, but seems somewhat fond of the goth. And then you get brutal pipe murdered by the random guy’s boss. Oops
#the magnus archives#tma#jurgen leitner#gerry keay#jon sims#elias bouchard#on an unrelated note#i think leitner was probably of the eye if he was of any of the fears#the eye is kind of the perfect symbiote#plus i feel like going ‘oh hey cursed books. im gonna find more!’ is so eye coded#not that im saying eye avatars have poor self preservation instincts or anything#(this is exactly what im saying)#the motto of the eye should be ‘i fucked around and found out’#not that ‘audio opperior vigilo’ stuff
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#best version of yourself#self care#self love#confident#confidence#motivation#vision board#manifesting#study blog#study motivation#study#study notes#studyblr#books#academia#study aesthetic#law of assumption#law of attraction
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There are a lot of things I'm sad about in my life. You don't get to go through the kind of medical trauma I've been through and come out unscathed on the other side.
But one thing I'm really bitter about is that I can't remember my wedding anymore. The pernicious anemia took it from me and wiped my brain clean. Except it's not clean, not really. I remember it in patches. Like red wine stains on a white rug that have never quite lifted out no matter how hard you try.
I look at the pictures on my bookcase, and they feel like remembering a story someone else has told me. There's a young woman in a white dress wearing my face, and she looks happy. I'm happy for her. But you can see the strain around her eyes, too. The pain she's hiding because no one with authority believes her when she says her body doesn't feel right. That something is Wrong.
They won't believe her for another decade. They won't believe her until it's almost too late, and it's that lateness that will rob her of her memories and turn them into a wavering rainbow suspended in the fine haze of watery sunlight that occasionally surfaces through the blanks.
There's one memory that's real, though. Solid. It's not my vows. It's not my father walking me down the aisle. (Though those are there, just hazy and dream-like). It's our first dance.
It's the lights dimming around the room as the staff cleared the floor, causing the fishbowls full of white roses and LED lights on the tables to wobble like pools of moonlight against dark paneled walls.
It's the band inviting us out onto the floor and us giggling because we know what's coming next, and no one else does. It's the twang of a banjo reverberating around the room through the speakers, followed by the dulcet tones of Kermit the Frog wondering why there are so many songs about rainbows.
It's us waltzing around the enclosed circle of light, singing to each other out of tune and grinning like idiots as everyone around us starts to laugh.
It's everyone joining in on the song because it's the Muppets, and everyone knows the words. It's 100+ people singing the Rainbow Connection, some laughing, some a bit tearful, because it's bringing back memories. Because it's making a new one.
It's looking up at my new husband through the brain fog and all the pain in my body and thinking, "I want to remember this moment forever."
I don't know what entity was out there listening to me at that moment and chose to grant that wish. I don't know why this is the one memory that stuck while everything else in my brain got decimated into scattered, fragmented snapshots. But I'm so, so thankful it is.
Though, I could have done without it randomly coming on my YouTube music out of nowhere to hit me in the emotions like a brick to the back of the head. Jesus Christ.
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