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amourdivine · 3 months

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𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅? ઉ PICK A CARD

Hello lovelies, I hope you're having a wonderful week! This is perhaps the first heavily shadow work focused PAC I bring to you. I'm quite nervous to post this, since I know delivering these messages can be difficult and I don't like taking a harsh, judgmental approach. I hope this reading resonates. As always, feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is your shadow self? eight of swords • knight of cups • nine of wands • queen of wands

Your shadow self is the fearful side of you attached to anxiety. The side of you that does not believe you can save yourself from bad situations and feels endlessly hopeless, helpless and trapped. It causes a self-fulfilling prophecy, one where you think you'll inevitably fail, so you self-sabotage (either consciously or not) and end up "proving" yourself right.

However, as helpless as your shadow feels, it never asks for help. It's trapped in a spiral of shame and self-doubt, even self-hatred. All of this happens mentally for most of you, to the point where your body is neglected or stuck in flight / freeze mode. I feel stuck in the gutter, unable to move in the sticky mud. Despite your best efforts to succeed, you may suffer from impostor's syndrome as well, an inability to see your worth, your beauty and your own light. It's almost as if you're scared of your own power, pile one. Very painful, very self-inflicted and something which you may have learn from childhood, maybe you got bullied a lot or were heavily criticized by the people around you. If that happened, I'm so sorry pile one. You deserved so much better. You still do.

how can you work with your shadow self? nine of cups • the sun • queen of swords • queen of wands

You know, when I was entering college, I had a counselor whose words were life changing to me. One day, he picked up a cup full of coffee and asked me: how do you get rid of the coffee, without throwing it out entirely? And I was puzzled. It wasn't possible. Him, in his neverending patience, took me to the water station and started pouring water onto it, until the coffee was cleared away and all that remained was clean, crystal liquid.

Maybe the bad things that happened still haunt you, but they can be drawn out by the good ones. Seek for the light, pile one. Seek the nurturing experiences, the days when you allow yourself to just be, seek the help, the love and stay open to the love. Stay open to the idea that yes, you are worthy, even if you do not feel like it, even if so many people have made you feel otherwise.

These wounds may not fade entirely with time, but you are more than them, always. Always. I know it's never easy to challenge what we've been taught about ourselves, but in order to unlearn all of that, you will have to learn the new things, the true things about you. If they said you were lazy - was that really true? Or were you just tired? You're not "naive", you're pure. You're not "too sensitive", you're in tune with your emotions.

The stories we tell ourselves hold power. What stories are you telling about yourself? Maybe it's time to switch to a new point of view, one where you can rewrite yourself as the person you were never allowed to be.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is your shadow self? judgement • five of swords • ten of cups • king of wands

Your shadow self is the side of you that thrives in chaos - listen, that's not entirely a bad thing, after all, our shadow reflects something which we need to acknowledge, nurture and work with. However, when you perceive danger or feel threatened, you may turn to harsh words or hurtful actions to avenge yourself.

It can manifest in the form of extreme competitive behavior, the inability to rest, overworking, even maybe envy, jealousy and arrogance sometimes. Now, I'm not here to judge or shame you, you're safe here. I think you have and still feel the need to prove yourself to others, to prove them all wrong. Maybe other people told you that you couldn't do it - and you took it all personally, so personally that it crumbles your self-esteem when someone diminishes your efforts or accomplishments.

Your shadow side craves attention, praise and approval. You want to succeed, to be someone you're proud of, to just never feel insecure, diminished or ignored again. You can also turn possessive with loved ones, wondering if they really love you or if they are lying. There's a lot of skepticism here, too.

how can you work with your shadow self? judgement • ace of pentacles • three of pentacles • eight of swords

Acknowledge your feelings and these insecurities. "Fake it 'till you make it" doesn't always work. Being vulnerable is, ironically, also being strong. Understanding your limitations and allowing for other people to collaborate with you (and vice-versa) will take you even further in life.

Your sense of justice is commendable. Make sure you're using it for justice indeed, and not just vengeance. Your ambition can walk hand in hand with your desire to do good, to make space for everyone else to shine, to open up to others, let them see all of you. No one can love perfection - even if they could, what's there to love about something or someone so perfect that they barely feel human?

It's okay to be scared, to feel insecure, to not shove difficult emotions under the rug. We cannot be at our 100% all the time. And we cannot please everyone, all the time. What you can do is praise yourself, let others praise you when they do and accept it gracefully, making sure you're spreading your warmth and wisdom to others as well. See, I think you have overcome a lot and a lot of people could use your help, either in the form of advice, resources or a shoulder to lean on.

You have leadership potential, pile two. Don't limit yourself by being alone. We were never meant to make it on our own.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is your shadow self? ace of wands • page of swords • three of cups • king of pentacles

Your shadow self is someone who may indulge in harmful habits out of a need for instant gratification, maybe reckless spending, speed driving, partying everyday or simply not saving up resources and caring about the future. Your shadow self is someone who hates boredom, who craves excitement and cannot fully deal with long-term commitment in its many forms. It wants novelty, adventure and it comes at the cost of your responsibilities, your routine and your friendships even.

This shadow self hates suffering (fair enough, who doesn't?!) and will to go great lengths to avoid it... but ironically, it causes you more pain in the long run by avoiding the unavoidable. By never crying, never addressing your issues or your difficult moments, you end up running right back into yourself and these same issues return.

This side of you doesn't want to grow up - you don't want to fall into the trap of routine and a boring, 9-5 job. But excessive habits are difficult to maintain, no matter how good it feels in the short term. There's a difficult, troubled perception of adulthood and life itself. A need for constant adventure and chaos, a feeling of entrapment whenever you are with anyone who loves you, because you fear being controlled, tamed and used.

how can you work with your shadow self? the tower • nine of wands • nine of cups • three of pentacles

To put it simply, let yourself hurt. Let the foundations of your heart crumble, stop to feel just for a second. You don't have to be on the run all the time. What are you running from, pile three? Disaster, pain and hurt are often inevitable, but they do not have to be the be-all, end-all of our lives. The Tower is a reminder that all that crumbles was meant to crumble eventually, and there is beauty in letting things end naturally, allowing the flow of life to do its thing.

That means aging, growing, learning from the seasons. I think you have a very, very deep heart and mind you're scared to tap into. You're scared to be trapped in the endless hustle, to never feel alive or good once you "settle". But who says the big joys are the only ones that matter? As someone said once, big joys and small joys are often the same. Sometimes, waking up in itself can be an adventure. Don't overlook or underestimate the ways life tries to find you, to cling to you - remember to embark on the hard journeys, knowing you'll have gotten something valuable in the end.

You're brave and rebellious. You can be a catalyst for change in so many ways. Who said adulthood has to be boring? Who said you have to work a 9-5? Do you have to get married? Maybe being a stay-at-home parent isn't for you. That's okay.

Challenging the status quo may not be easy, but you have a natural inclination for it. Your shadow self can dive deeper. It's one of your greatest tools. Your need for joy and fun is not shameful - you can use it for healing, instead of self-destruction.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is your shadow self? judgment rx • justice • the high priestess rx • knight of swords

Your shadow self is the side of you that refuses to acknowledge your needs, your wants and desires. It makes you live inside of a bubble, scared of the truth, even if it will set you free. I had the hardest time shuffling for this pile, I kept trying and trying but nothing made sense. I think this is how your shadow side manifests as well, in the lack of clarity, the fogginess that permeates the choices you've regretted.

It's both reckless and frozen, completely lost in a maze, confused, looking for a path, for directions, for anything. It's almost as if you lost your compass, nothing eventually guides you and you remain looking for the directions only you have.

It's too scared to admit what it wants, who you are. Both out of fear of what other people will say, but also out of fear that it'll all go wrong. It's the side of you that remains disconnected from yourself, hidden because it keeps highlighting the aspects you keep trying to ignore, to not know. It can manifest in a lot of ways, either through people-pleasing or being completely reckless. Through lying, denial or even isolation from the world, from life itself.

Something funny is that a song by Bad Suns that just started playing really relates to this pile. "Cinderella slips into a dream like a curse / you could mistake it for heaven at first." This shadow self may live in projection, daydreaming or simply keep you out of touch with everything.

how can you work with your shadow self? six of pentacles • page of wands • two of wands • king of cups

Engagement and socializing are big ways you can work with your shadow self. Being actively curious about the world, about people. Approaching relationships, truths and life itself with genuine interest, no judgement or shaming thoughts involved.

Telling yourself you're an eternal student of this world, because we are and remembering you don't have to know everything. Start scared. Most things, you'll have to do it scared. Unprepared. In the thick of it all, you'll find the answers you need, but only if you are willing to dive deep for them. No taking shortcuts, making assumptions or allowing self-doubt to paralyze your living, because you need to witness life as it is.

Therapy is one big thing, music as well. Anything that connects you to your deepest self, relationships that genuinely make room for who you are, good friends that feel safe and non-judgemental. Your heart has been calling you for so long, pile four. It's about time you listen to it. It knows everything you need to know.

disclaimer. tarot not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

#pick a card #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #tarot #pac reading #astrology #witchblr #tarot witch #pagan #mine.

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silly-writes · 10 months

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Cuddling Headcanons

Just for some of my favs 🫶 not requested!

Justin, Noah, Trent, Alejandro, Courtney, Leshawna, Mike, and Manitoba

Justin

Really bad at accepting physical affection while the relationship is still fresh

He’s used to only being in relationships with people for publicity! He’s not really used to genuine displays of affection that exist only for the two of you

After awhile he warms up to cuddling a lot

He likes to hold his arms around you while sleeping

He usually likes to sleep directly on top of you almost crushing you with his weight

“I just can’t help it-“ he said one day laughing lightly “-you’re better than any bed I’ve ever had”

He’d never admit to the sappy crap but it relaxes him beyond belief to listen to your breathing

He also loves hearing you talk or rant about your day when you two cuddle

He also likes to hold your waist in any capacity, he’s almost always got one hand on your waist

Noah

Yeah unsurprisingly he’s not that big on it

If you insist however eventually he comes to kind of enjoy it

He’d never admit that though.

He really likes it when you run your hand through his hair you can always see the tension leave his body when you do

(Again he’d never admit that)

He’s really bad when he actually does want to cuddle because he’s horrible at asking for things

Usually he just sits there staring at you waiting for you to learn how to read minds

Eventually though you start to get the feel of when he wants you to just hold him.

He’ll front every time and complain the whole time but it’s a big ol’ lie

“Are you kidding me, again? You cling onto me like a baby opossum, it’s crazy,” he teased you one night.

“We don’t have to-“

You couldn’t even finish the thought before he cut in grabbing onto you “calm down it’s fine.”

Yeah Noah, we know it is.

Trent

Definitely one of the more emotionally secure guys

Has no problem from the very start crawling into bed with you and just absolutely (lovingly) crushing you with his arms

We all know our boy is just the least bit clingy so he’s always looking for some cuddles

He honestly doesn’t care the position, he’ll big spoon, little spoon, he’ll get right on top of you, or you on top of him, my boy is not picky.

Really just likes to be able to see you, and loves playing with your hair (if you choose to show it/have hair)

If not he’ll play with the fabric of your clothes

“Trent that tickles stop,” you say one night as he plays with the hem of your shirt

“One sec…” he says, his tongue out in concentration.

You don’t know what’s going on in that head of his, so you just leave it alone after that, he looks so happy and adorable who are you to come in the way of that?

He’s just obsessed with you, if you’re happy he’s happy.

Alejandro

When I say guarded.

Starting physical affection with him that is genuine and in no way shows anything to gain from him, or anyone else scares the shit out of him

He really just doesn’t trust it for the longest time.

If you want to cuddle with Alejandro there is only one word: patience.

You have to be ready to wait for him to be ready.

With his up bringing and his past relationships, cuddling just wasn’t a thing you did unless it was some sort of trap

SO WHEN I SAY CUDDLING WITH HIM FEELS BETTER ITS BECAUSE YOU EARNED THAT SHIT

When he finally feels fully safe around you, he’ll test the waters first by sleeping in the same room as you

(He’s like a cat in that way sleeping around you is a big sign of trust from him)

Then eventually he’ll do things like put his arm around you and pull you in closer.

He likes to be the big spoon definitely

But there are certain occasions where he’ll settle for the other way around

He learns that he actually really does love it.

He loves to rest his head on top of yours and feeling your breath against him

Or better yet, he loves having his head on your chest hearing your heart beat

“Mi enamorada, your heart is beating very fast again,” you could hear the smirk in his voice as he said that.

“Oh really?” You say sarcastically, burying a hand in his hair “I wonder why.”

He hummed a little bit in response “as do I,” he says smugly.

Overall cuddling with Alejandro is just very rewarding and therapeutic

Courtney

this woman knows how to do it

She so loves being all cuddly which you really wouldn’t have expected

It does take a little bit, and she spends some time wondering if you’re really “worthy”

But after that she’s all in.

She likes being in kissing distance so your face being close to hers is a must

Other than that she doesn’t really care about the position

I imagine cuddling with her is very chatty, and she very rarely cuddles while falling asleep (not that is never happens)

But you guys have a lot of late night conversations while cuddling

She lives for those early morning cuddles too

“Okay that’s enough, I have to start the day at some point.” Courtney mumbles tiredly.

“Soon- soon. Just five more minutes?” You say, pulling her closer.

She regarded you for awhile “fine. But no more than five minutes okay?”

That type of conversation is had time and time again, and she always spends way more than five minutes

Leshawna

Leshawna is so good at being in tune with peoples emotions it’s scary

She’s always really good at figuring out what works for you to and what doesn’t

Plus she’ll always let you know if she doesn’t like something that happening so you’re never worried about if she’s enjoying herself

She loves being the little spoon, but will be the big spoon if need be

Loves cuddling, but when she needs space she needs space (dw she’ll always let you know)

While on the couch cuddling though she’ll always let you lay on her and throw a blanket over the two of you and it’s just the most cozy thing every time

She is beyond comfortable to be around

Just a really genuine and sincere and comfortable significant other.

“I just feel bad, like I’m crushing you,” you admitted one night, adjusting while laying on top of her.

“Baby you don’t ever have to worry about that, you just get comfortable in anyway you can. You got that?” She assured you, and that was that.

She’s so good at making you feel comfortable oml.

Mike

THIS BOY IS A DISASTER

Has an impossible time being the one to enact physical contact and an even more impossible time asking for it

He’s a nervous wreck.

But if you’re confident (which lets face it anyone compared to Mike is) he’ll glom onto you no problem

He likes being little spoon, but doesn’t really mind

Forms most of his opinions on cuddling from you so whatever you like will become whatever he likes

He’s just sort of easy going once he gets into it as long as he gets to be next to you he doesn’t really care what’s going on

Plus he’s hugely indecisive he just wants to do what you want to do without worrying about any decision making. He already does enough of that.

“How should I sit?” He asked you one night getting into bed

“However you want,” you say chuckling.

He huffs a bit “that’s not fair and you know it.”

Just a general pleasure omg

Manitoba

I imagine cuddling with him is kind of a nightmare

He’s so restless.

He’s never happy with the position even if he initiated it

He doesn’t mean to that’s just how he is

And it’s not because he doesn’t want to cuddle cause he does (trust me he does)

But he has trouble staying in one position for a long period of time

So cuddling works best with him if you’re a go with the flow kind of person and are okay with readjusting over twenty times

“Manitoba, please it’s one in the morning, at a certain point you have to just get comfortable” you scolded light heartedly.

“Sorry love, last time I promise,” he assures.

It was in fact not the last time.

#total drama #total drama x reader #td justin #td noah #td trent #td alejandro #td courtney #td leshawna #td mike #td manitoba #x reader #headcanon #total drama headcanons #cuddling #cuddling headcanons #fluff #fanfic #pure fluff

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shiftinglea · 2 months

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How you create

“To become a master of creation (or manifestation), we need to see and accept the simple truth:

You create every single experience in your life.

There are no accidents, coincidences, or “bad luck.” You have created everything in your life, either consciously or unconsciously. This is how it works:

We create on three levels:

Soul level

Subconscious level

Conscious level

Let’s start with the Conscious level. On this level, we create our reality with thoughts, assumptions, beliefs, and intentions. Basically, this is what the LOA community teaches you. You create with full awareness of what you are doing. There is no need to talk in detail about this level of creation because you probably already know it: your assumptions/state create your reality. I will talk more about the state in another post.

The Subconscious level of creation is the level that most people don’t know or aren’t aware of. You create your reality with very little awareness on this level due to programs, patterns, and scenarios hidden in your subconscious. Such patterns are mostly created during our childhood because kids (until 12 y.o.) still have developing brains and they absorb information like sponges.

Here is an example of the subconscious level of creation:

A child grew up in a family where parents used to blame rich people for their issues. This child would receive subliminal messages that money is bad. So growing up, this child will subconsciously distance themselves from money. He/she will sabotage themselves from making a fortune. They might consciously want to be rich, but on a subconscious level, there is a belief that money is bad.

So until they reprogram this belief, they might experience difficulties in manifesting money consciously because there is a contradiction on a conscious and subconscious level. It’s still possible to manifest money consciously with a subconscious fear of money, but it can be more challenging to remain in the state of wish fulfilled since there are contradicting feelings about money.

The Soul level of creation is more mysterious in a way. Our souls hold larger agendas for this life that we are not aware of. Unless we are. This agenda is connected to evolution and moving to the completion of itself. For example, in your previous life, your agenda could have been to experience forgiveness. This life’s agenda could be something else. When the soul has experienced everything it wanted to experience through many lifetimes, it feels completed.

Your soul always leads you to growth, expansion. It leads you to the right people, places, opportunities, events, books, posts, etc.

I have a theory that people who are interested in LOA have a specific soul agenda (or at least one of). This agenda of yours might be experiencing yourself as a conscious creator of your life. To experience yourself as God.

Some people don’t know (or don’t remember) that they are Gods. But you are being led to this knowledge not by chance. It is because your soul wants you to remember it. Your soul wants you to create the life you desire. To be God.

Sometimes our souls create something that we would have never chosen to create on a conscious and subconscious level.

For example, tragedy or traumatic events that happened to you. You didn’t create it consciously or subconsciously. But your soul chose to experience that. We might not know what was the purpose of that experience until we leave this physical state and move into the spiritual realm (or “death” as you might call it).

But it’s important to understand that your soul never wants your suffering. It wants your growth and expansion.

Masters of creation always agree with the experience she/he is having, even if the experience does not appear to be favorable because the master knows that on some level (subconscious, conscious, or soul), he/she intended it. And if the master doesn’t like the creation anymore, then he/she simply chooses (creates) a new experience.

They never feel trapped in their reality. Why would they? If they created it in the first place. They can create again.

When I was learning about the three levels of creation myself, I had this question:

What if I want to create something, but my soul doesn’t have it in its agenda? Does it mean I won’t be able to create it?

But then I was given this answer:

It’s the choice of my soul to create whatever I choose on the Conscious level. In other words, the intention of my soul is to experience itself as a conscious creator in this life.

Otherwise, I (and you) would not be led to LOA, shifting, void, etc.

So yes, your soul would create everything you have chosen to create on conscious (and subconscious) level.

#loa tumblr #loassumption #void state #loa blog #neville goddard

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vmpiires · 4 months

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❛ INFINITY — 無限大

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ you and choso go on a “date” and choso opens up about his family

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (non-curse), mid 90s AU, nsfw, female anatomy, stoner!choso, mentions of going broke, possible sexual content, canon/modern lore mixes, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ i almost forgot about this story BUT IM HERE. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3 — dark mode recommended. WC — 2.35K — part four

@sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3 @exinqiu

“you wanna…hang out? like, right now?” you heard choso say hesitantly over the phone. it was around ten at night and you weren’t busy. you didn’t have anything better to do. plus, you wanted to go out a bit more since you were a bit of a homebody.

“yeah, why not?” you beamed over the phone. “it’ll be fun and i don’t have nothing else to do. plus, we need to hang out more before it gets too cold…winter is around the corner.”

“oh..um, yeah sure. you’re right.” choso answered. though, he was in the clear for the evening since yuji would be spending the night with his friends for a sleepover, the male was still skeptical about somethings.

what if there’s an emergency? what if something happened to his little brother? anything could’ve happened while he was away, not supervising.

you grin excitedly, starting to list multiple places you could go. it took some quick process of elimination just to choose the park. it was simple and it seemed like choso really wanted to go for some reason, so you agreed.

once you got off the phone, you navigate to your messages app and send him a text, ‘oh i forgot to say that if you wanna bring food or something you can.’

now you had to play the waiting game. it was always you waiting longer than five minutes or less than a minute for choso to text back.

well this time you didn’t have to wait. your phone makes a sound shortly after you sent that message. you take a glance down to see that choso loved your message.

‘helping my brother pack. i might be a little late.’

you smiled at the text and urged him to take his time. you thought it was sweet how heavily choso cared for yuji. nothing never went unnoticed around him. he was like a big brother and a mother in one.

you began to put on your clothes and grab whatever you needed before you would finally leave out of the house and make your way towards the park.

the night sky was so clear and perfect. you could see all the stars just from where you were standing. that’s when you started to wonder if choso liked stargazing. how would he feel about that?

you were quickly reminded that choso may not have time for stuff like that since he seemed like a busy man. you could also tell he was the type that wasn’t very exposed to current day activities trending amongst other people.

it’s like he’s trapped in his own bubble.

“hold your hand out,” choso said before lifting yuji’s hand to clip his nails. “now, i’ll be going out somewhere tonight, so i won’t be at home while you’re with your friends…but if you need me, please call me, okay?”

“i know, big brother,” yuji smiled up at his elder brother. choso’s cheeks turned a rosy color before smiling back. “but where are you going? you never leave the house this late unless you picked up work.”

“you’re right but tonight is different…i’m gonna meet our brothers, spend some time outside the house…i shouldn’t be rotting in here all the time anyway.”

choso put the boy down once he finished clipping yuji’s nails and ruffled his hair. he would fold some clothes and place them down into the bag neatly.

“don’t let anybody touch your stuff and break it, okay? you’re allowed to share but make sure they’re being careful. you know money is hard around here and i can barely afford some of this stuff for you.” choso mumbled. his soft expression seemed to turn into a slight frown.

yuji nodded but he couldn’t help but notice his brother’s expression. “are you mad, big brother?”

the dark haired male blinked quickly and shook his head. “no, no. i’m not mad…life is just really hard and i need to probably find a second job.”

working as a bartender is okay for him, he didn’t mind it. but when it came to needing more money to upkeep the house and to satisfy both their wants and needs, he would need a second job.

“then we won’t be able to hang out together,” yuji frowned. it was already hard for choso to make time for his little brother but now it would be even harder.

“i know, itadori…i know. but i’ll make it up to you as best as i can. i promise i’ll never forget about it, okay?” choso held his pinky finger out to yuji. “you trust me?”

“i trust you,” yuji grinned.

“good.” choso smiled as he retracted his hand away from the boy. “now hurry and go grab your coat and your shoes. let’s go, we don’t wanna be late.”

yuji nodded and grabbed his coat from the closet by the front door and put on his favorite red boots before hurrying out of the door, waiting for choso to follow behind him.

after choso drove yuji to the other side of town, choso would make a stop at the corner store and bought another pack of cigarettes and some snacks that you both would like.

it took a little bit of time to make up his mind because he was a bit picky about what he ate but he’d eventually figure it out before heading to the park, finally meeting up with you.

“hey,” choso called her name breathlessly as he jogged over to the spot where you were sitting at. the park was empty, perfect for just the two of you to relax and talk and do whatever came to mind. “i’m so sorry i took so long. i drove thirty minutes from my place, to the other side of town for yuji then back, i’m sorry.”

you noticed his apologetic tone and you nod your head no, smiling at him. “don’t worry about it. like i told you, you didn’t have to rush to get here. i wasn’t going anywhere.”

the two of you finally get comfortable on the grass, eating the snacks you both brought and the drinks. choso noticed you opening a can of beer from the six pack brought with you. the male lifted an eyebrow.

“i thought you didn’t drink..” he said softly. you nod, taking a sip of your beer before sucking your teeth.

“i don’t but it’s nice for the occasion, you know?” you reach down and hand one to choso, offering it to him. the male was about to say no but he considered your next words.

“come on, just one can won’t hurt you. you gotta loosen up a little bit. you’re a busy guy that barely gives himself a break. tonight’s your night, cho.”

the male would light a cigarette and put it between his lips before humming. you were definitely right. choso never gave himself a break. he was always moving. hesitantly, he’d take the can from you and open it, listening to the sound as it hissed open.

you giggled when you saw choso’s face contort to an expression of disgust the second he took a sip of the beer.

“you like this?” he asked.

“i don’t like it either but after a while it’ll taste better.” you reassured. there’s a silence between the two of you as you both sat there, taking in your environment.

trees blowing gently in the quiet wind of the night. lampposts casting dim lights and weak shadows, and the occasional chirping of crickets hiding in the soil somewhere.

choso wasn’t a man of many words so the silence was tolerable but then a thought came to your head. while choso smoked his cigarette and you ate your snacks, you turned to him.

“why’d you wanna come to the park so bad?” you asked.

“it’s from a recurring dream i have. every time i have that dream, i see my brothers here. i just wanted to….i don’t even know. i just wanted to know that this place wasn’t just a figment of my imagination, i guess.”

“do you know what happens in the dream?”

“it all goes by so fast…it’s not that i don’t remember what happens, i just hate talking about it sometimes. i’m sorry.”

“it’s fine, you don’t have to apologize,” you scooted a bit closer to him. “hey, let’s talk about something else. to lighten the mood, y’know?”

“oh..yeah, good idea.” choso nodded slowly, taking a drag from his cigarette. you had an idea already on what to talk about and you were obviously eager. anyone could just tell by the look on your face.

“have you ever stargazed before?” you began.

“uh…no. i mean- i look at stars but…i don’t do it like that. it’s- i don’t know.” he trails off, looking embarrassed and shy when he realized that he’s stumbled over his words a bunch.

“here, lay down.” you would lie down and choso just looked at you as if what you were doing was the oddest thing on earth. you waved your hand, gesturing him to do the same.

finally, choso would lay down, his eyes lighting up at the blanket of stars covering the sky. the stars were beautiful and bright that night. he could see some of them lining up, creating shapes—constellations.

“i love stars. they’re just so pretty.” you comment, “they look so close but they’re just so far…too bad some of them are dead.”

“these stars have been dead for a long time, they’re just now reflecting back to us.” choso chimed in lowly. you sighed.

“don’t you wish you could just be a star in the sky? not having to worry about anything or anyone in the universe, just yourself?”

“i’m not sure if i wanna turn into a star just yet,” choso said. “it sounds like death to me…but if i could run away and live somewhere secluded from society, i’d do it. me and yuji.”

“do you think anybody would miss you?” you frown a little, your expression a bit serious. choso shrugged.

“i have no friends...and if i did, they all died or they’re just people i don’t speak to anymore. i’m that lonely.” he sighed. “i don’t need other people anyway. it doesn’t bother me.”

choso looked at you and automatically felt embarrassed again. he ran his fingers through his medium length hair and shook his head.

“sorry. i overshare a lot.”

“you apologize a lot…it’s not really anything wrong with it, i just noticed that.” you say. “is that just…how you are? if you don’t mind me asking..”

“it’s just how i am, so—never mind. my dad was just so hard on me, i was always apologizing for something and he just kinda turned me into a sorry mess.”

the sudden mention of his father made him frown and he sighed. “i’m glad i don’t live with him…but i would probably stay there just for some money. he’s the typical salaryman with a son that’s broke…or at least, almost broke.”

“does the job you work at not pay enough?” you shifted your body so you were facing choso instead of the sky.

“it helps me get me and my brother some food that would last us a while and probably a shirt. not any of that luxury stuff. the only time i get that kind of stuff is when it’s given to me.”

“okay, that, i think is an exaggeration…every time i see you two, you’re dressed nicely and when we facetime, your house looks nice and clean,” you say. your hand slowly moved towards his but you hesitate to keep going.

“yeah, i guess it is. my job pays pretty well…i guess i’m just paranoid about it not being enough.” choso took a drag of his cigarette. when he felt your hand on his, he’d look down at it then back at you. instead of leaving your hand where it was, he’d take your hand into his.

the two of you were feeling a buzz from the beers you were drinking and the world seemed to be moving in slow motion. choso saw the soft smile on your face as you looked into his soft, tired eyes. you saw how his dark hair covered a lot of his face as he laid on the ground beside you.

“you know, i think you’re a really nice guy,” you blurt out. you weren’t even aware of what you were saying yourself. “i really like you.”

“i….” choso’s breath hitched, “uh…i like you too. i’ve liked you for a long time—since we met.” the male could feel his ears getting hot and the tip of his nose was a pinkish color from the cold, mixed with his blushing.

there was a tingly feeling on his face as his cheeks began to warm with excitement and embarrassment. the cut underneath his bandage was starting to bleed again.

“take this off,” you whispered, slowly removing the bloody bandage, revealing the red cut across his nose that’s usually black. you would take a napkin from your bag and once again, clean the blood from his face.

choso was obviously embarrassed. this was the second time you saw his cut but he didn’t really like others seeing it. the male used his hoodie to cover his nose.

“uh…thank you..for uh—for cleaning it.” he mumbled. you smiled at him and pulled the collar of his hoodie down from over his face before kissing him. your lips locked with each others and you both seemed to be in a deep state of excitement and euphoria.

choso never kissed a girl before. he wasn’t sure what was happening or what he was supposed to do but he tried his best to follow your lead anyway.

when you pulled away, you could see the surprise on choso’s face. his face was flushed from being so inebriated just as you were.

you both fell silent. the only noise that existed was your own breathing and the nature around you. choso was sure he wouldn’t remember much of this tomorrow and neither would you…but deep down, he found it hard to believe.

lowkey this took so long to write,, i’m tired 😭 i’m glad you guys like this. i made something happen so…now its time to get ready to wrap it up. also sorry if there’s any mistakes lol

#𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐈𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𖦹゛#jujutsu kaisen #anime #jjk #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk x reader #jjk choso #choso x black!reader #choso x reader

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twinanimatronics · 10 months

Note

I have 0 intention of watching SAMS bc at this point catching up would be too much of a time investment, but at the same point, I would love to have a bit of context for went you & Dana rant about it.

Mayhaps could I have a tldr? Just so I can get the gist about what y'all are freaking out about ever couple of weeks.

Okay so I woke up really early but it’s my day off and I’m in an info dumping mood so—

—Rubs Gay little hands together then slams them on a cork board with photos and shit pinned to it—

INSTEAD OF A TL;DR I’M GONNA GIVE YOU A WHOLE DANG ASS SUMMARY

WHICH I WILL UPDATE REGULARLY

And yes I did spend 20 minutes making that dumb meme edit, before you ask.

OKAY

(putting a Read More cause this is gonna get LONG)

So, the Sun and Moon show, like all the Security Breach Channel shows, started off as just a character gaming channel with Sun and Moon. And in my personal opinion, as well as based on total subscriber count, the superior one of the lot since we never bother with the other channels unless there's a guest appearance from the boys on one of their episodes. (Literally we just here for Sun and Moon. The other character channel portrayals are just kinda "meh" or irksome)

Sun and Moon are portrayed as both the same person but also different individuals who choose to view the other as their brother (familiar, familiar) and is after they've managed to get their own separate bodies. Moon having made one for himself and left Sun with the original one.

Moon is not as much as a Gremlin as he is in canon and is more indifferent. He's into science and is friends with Satan (I am not joking)

Meanwhile, Sun is...

Sun.

As I said, the channel started off as just a character gaming channel with them just playing games, reacting to things, and some occasional VR shenanganry. The Invisible Davis (Sun) and EC_Universal's (Moon) sibling chemistry and banter is seriously top notch. And Davis even comes on as Monty sometimes (who now has his own channel with Foxy, but that's more recent and later on in this info dump).

Things are pretty tame at first lorewise. Just building up things like their relationships with the other animatronics (Like Sun being hopelessly in love with Roxanne. Which originally felt like a forced plotline but now he isn't in love with her at all anymore and has come to see her as a horrible person)

The biggest things that used to happen early on were really just Monty and his money-making scam attempts like:

Charging Sun several thousand dollars a second for his assistance in the daycare and selling him a space condo for $50 (which he revealed to have exploded recently) that Moon had to force him to give Sun's deposit back on.

Then things start happening...

Sun starts having blackouts and acting not like himself and not remembering things that happen from hours to even days at a time. This is when Eclipse starts to make himself known in both VR Lore vids and even gaming vids. Eclipse being: A piece of Moon's coding that was left behind when the two of them separated (the part of him that contained the homicide/Kill Code "glitch" that was a big part of him) inside of Sun that became it's own entity.

Moon's reason for doing this is cause he thought the code would die off having been mostly severed from him and that he himself could evolve to be more than a killing machine if it was gone. He thought Sun would be fine. But he came to realize he just left his brother with different cancerous entity living off him (his words to describe their previous shared body relationship).

Eclipse has very strong abandonment issues. And it's the primary motivation he has for everything he does. He is EXTREMELY pissed at Moon for leaving him behind inside of Sun who he was supposed to HATE and instead became all brotherly with. Forcing Eclipse to live Moon's nightmare of being trapped in a body he had no control over (Legit we got an episode featuring Eclipse's first moments of sentience after being severed from Moon highlighting all this).

However, this wasn't the first time that Eclipse had allegedly taken control by this point in time: A year after their seperation.

There was an event, July 16th, where Sun was extremely stressed in the daycare and supposedly snapped. He blacked out and when he came to...

Lots of kids were dead.

Eclipse was initially believed to be the cause of this event. But actually, it was BloodMoon. Another AI that Eclipse created while first trying to escape from Sun's body prison.

But upon the revelation of Eclipse's existence, BloodMoon's is still unknown.

Moon attempts to find a way to remove Eclipse from Sun and, upon their creator being of no help and completely useless, is recommended by Glamrock Freddy to go see Golden Freddy (or maybe the Creator contacts them after they see Golden, IDK I forget the exact order of those events).

Golden Freddy is Glamrock Freddy and classic Freddy's dad (Yeah, don't ask. These parts of the lore Dana and I kinda hate and just try to ignore) who is an all powerful ghost entity (again, don't ask) who uses magic to turn Moon into a plushie.

Long story short, Eclipse can't be removed if he doesn't WANT to be removed without killing Sun. And he REFUSES to be removed even when offered a body of his own cause this bitch baby is out for vengeance.

But now Moon knows magic.

He burns down some buildings that he cheers about getting reported over a police scanner.

And then they get called in by the government to be interviewed for that and other shit.

Also: apparently animatronics have a choice to make themselves techno-organic so they can eat things and shit (including having kids through sexy times, yes I am not fucking you)?

Sun and Moon refuse to take this up tho and at most Moon just installs nanomachines (son) into himself so he can eat metal as a way to repair himself.

Keep this nanomachine tech in your mind going forwards, btw.

BUT CONTINUING WITH THE PLOT

Pieces of the killcode inside of Moon begin to rebuild itself and Moon starts getting violent and kills a government guy that was hunting him and Sun down. Cause while they were being interviewed he came out and snapped a man's neck. Something that Moon and Sun argued about cause Moon was starting to think that Sun wanted to do these things like Eclipse implied and was just using him as a scapegoat so he wouldn't have to process his negative emotions.

And he was.

Kind of.

Cause even now, in the present (way after this point in the story I'm explaining) with Eclipse gone he still has extreme anger management issues and the occasional violent impulse. But that doesn't make him BAD (though he believes himself to be as a result). He just has a hard time regulating his emotions and keeping them in check because he was used to being the purely positive side of the coin when he and Moon were one. Being the happy to Moon's sad/angry.

Moon contacts their creator again for help with his issue. But once again, the creator does nothing.

Oh also, that government guy?

Yeah, Moon ate him.

My guy really ate a human person.

Sun and Moon fight with Sun choosing to leave Moon alone to wallow after getting punched in the face. Telling Moon how it was apparently too hard for him to be a good brother and REALLY putting a divide between the two of them.

Then, at some point, after Eclipse keeps sending Sun and Moon to different dimensions to torture them yet again (yeah, alternate dimension travel and universes exist and is a very frequent thing in SAMS) Eclipse sends the boys to fight a Wither Storm, which they come out of alive with their brotherly bond restored.

However, Moon is still going a bit insane cause of the killcode.

And then Eclipse creates Lunar and inserts hm into Moon's head.

Lunar is essentially a Sun version of Moon, his new happy, much like how Eclipse is a Moon version of Sun. Lunar is very child-like and was made to help Eclipse to find this Dues-Ex-Machina thing known as the Star. A thing of ultimate power that can be used to reshape and rebuild the world however the wielder wishes.

Eclipse's plan is to reset the world and become god.

Or, at least it WAS.

But more on that later.

Lunar being put in Moon's head helped with keeping the Kill Code at bay and allowed Moon to retain his sanity. And, after some initial antagonization, Moon and Lunar come to a bit of an agreement of having Lunar help him and Sun with information about Eclipse and BloodMoon (who they are finally told about but believe isn't real at this point). Moon just had to install games in his head for Lunar to play and whenever the daycare was open would let Lunar out to handle the kids instead since he liked it and was better with the children than he was as the one week he spent pretending to be Moon highlighted.

However, Eclipse gives both Sun and Moon a timeframe to hand over the Star before their bodies will be forcibly taken over by himself and Lunar.

They have until Halloween.

Oh and at some point he installed this maternity chip thing into Roxanne and she suddenly adopted Gregory and wanted to remarry her ex, Glamrock Freddy, when she and Sun supposedly had a "Thing" (they went on one date where it was all about HER) but we don't really care at all about that despite the wedding supposedly being some kind of big deal in the Security Breach Show verse but then it wasn't.

Obviously, Eclipse doesn't get the Star.

But Moon also doesn't exactly have a plan to stop him either and spends the last day they had to hand over the star having a breakdown over being realizing he is going to be trapped in his own body again.

So October begins and the Sun and Moon Show becomes the Eclipse and Lunar Show. And while they're in control, Eclipse made it so any time that Lunar moves in Moon's body, Moon will feel an immense amount of pain. The same way Sun used to any time he was in control of their shared body in the beginning.

Things don't go so well during that month when it's the Eclipse and Lunar Show. Lunar wanted to just have fun and get an actual brotherly relationship out of Eclipse, but Eclipse just viewed him as a tool to control (Literally, he inserted programs that let him control and even KILL HIM if he wanted).

And there were times when they fought where Eclipse hit him.

Which Eclipse momentarily seemed to regret before shoving his emotions deep down inside himself so he could ignore them because he refuses to let himself feel genuinely happy (Legit he made Lunar out of the coding bits of himself that were good and positive cause he hated them and didn't want them cause they came from Sun's code melding with what code of Moon's he was birthed from.).

At this point, Moon, Lunar, and Monty are working together to stop Eclipse and, for some reason, Lunar comes up with the plan of building BloodMoon (who somehow exists as a spectral manifestation of rage or something) a body so he can fight Eclipse. BloodMoon only agrees cause Lunar allows him to go out and kill hobos and will occasionally bring him bags of blood from the blood bank.

Then, after another fight with Eclipse, Lunar relinquishes control of the body completely back to Moon because he doesn't want to play outside anymore.

Before Moon gets control of his body again, though (and before deflecting an attempt of Eclipse's to kill Lunar while posing as him), Lunar asks if he and Sun can be his brothers. Which Moon wholly agrees to and tells Sun about when he goes inside of his and Eclipse's shared head to tell him his plan of banishing Eclipse via magic in a way that WON'T also kill him too (and leaving Sun with a massive magic dictionary and spells he has to memorize for when the day comes).

The day arrives.

BloodMoon and Eclipse fight while, in his head, Sun manages to banish Eclipse.

However, he says the spell WRONG so instead of being banished and dead forever he's just lying somewhere mangled and dying in the woods.

But Sun saying the spell wrong didn't matter in the end cause Eclipse had a bunch of backups he could have come back from. One of which he PLANTED INSIDE BLOODMOON while fighting him.

Queue things being relatively tame for awhile. Excluding Moon working himself to death finding and deleting Eclipse's backups.

But in the background BloodMoon running around wild and free killing random people and working with Eclipse/torturing him inside their body (cause BloodMoon is actually TWO people, not one.).

Eventually, Eclipse enacts his new plan of pushing Moon to the breaking point and making his Kill Code fully resurface. Which Moon was still struggling with and was concerned would potentially corrupt Lunar.

How Eclipse does this is by having the Bloodtwins mess with Sun and Moon while disguised as either of them (cause their body is made of nanomachines so they can shapeshift. I TOLD YOU THE NANOMACHINES WERE IMPORTANT) and the final nail in the coffin is Eclipse controlling them to pretend to be Sun and confronting Moon about how much he hated him and how he wished he'd DIE.

And thus the kill code is reactivated.

But not just reactivated, it's now since evolved into its own SENTIENT BEING that's fully in control while Moon is trapped inside his own head.

Again.

However, Moon aint the only one trapped now.

So is Lunar.

Monty goes inside Moon's head an manages to rescue Lunar to take him out and give him his own body. But at first Lunar doesn't want to go cause he doesn't want to leave Moon alone and insists on being "his happy".

Eventually, Moon and Kill Code (who we will call KC from now on) make an agreement to timeshare the body and not get in the way of one another's plans.

KC wants to just kill all the bad people in the world and has recruited BloodMoon (willingly) and Eclipse (unwillingly) who he views as his children to work with him.

Lunar returns in his new body (also made of Nanomachines) at this point and Moon has found a dimension for him to visit that has an Eclipse in it that's nice and who he is able to talk with and have an actual bond with. As a form of some sort of therapy since our Eclipse was a shitty brother and traumatized the bean and the Nice Eclipse of that dimension was kind of ostracized by the others since he was born from his Sun and Moon's split going completely WRONG.

The creator at some point stops by again and announces that he has created Sun and Moon a sister named Earth who is supposed to be better than them in every way (she's actually not and has her own flaws) and that she was going to be living with them now. (Sun literally says: "Die already, old man!" to him and other things a lot of people probably wish they could say to a shitty parent).

Meanwhile, at the KC Cave:

Eclipse is uploaded into a basic computer.

Eclipse HATES KC and immediately plots against him but builds him a robot by the name of Solar Flare to help him anyway. But, behind the scenes, Eclipse contacts Moon for help in killing KC.

And at the same time, Solar Flare ALSO contacts Moon for help to kill ECLIPSE and PROTECT KC.

As this is happening, the Bloodtwins have reverted back to messing with Sun while disguised as Moon again. However, they push him to far and Sun ends up obliterating them with a laser canon Eclipse had made that was hidden inside the musical barrels that are in the daycare.

Moon hears this as it happens, but Sun lies to him and tells him he just accidentally destroyed some "garbage".

KC ends up having to tell Moon what really happened when BloodMoon doesn't turn up after more than a week. Putting a bit of strain on the boys' relationship again cause Sun LIED to Moon.

Being so tired and done with everything and having finally fully snapped, Sun is now on a war path of finding and trying to kill Eclipse himself instead of letting Moon do all the work like always. Lunar finds out and he and Sun have a falling out with Lunar saying Sun was behaving just like Eclipse (and he was in their fight, belittling Lunar). But Lunar said some awful and hypocritical things too.

Sun storms off and it is at this point when Eclipse first contacts Moon to try and kill KC. First talking with Lunar and scaring him off, ultimately cementing Lunar's decision to run away from home with Monty's help since he doesn't want to be around Sun or deal with Eclipse until things get better.

Moon finds out about Lunar's running away secondhand and struggles to bring himself to talk to Sun to stop him from wanting to kill Eclipse because he doesn't want for his brother to be like him in terms of killing people. But he puts it off for far too long because of being socially inept and goes to others for advice first.

When Moon finally does try to confront Sun as a projection and tells him how Lunar moved out, Sun at first brushes it off like it's not a big deal and ignores him before going on with his hunt for Eclipse. Claiming that he also felt no remorse for killing BloodMoon and didn't hear his voice in his head like Moon said he did with the people he killed.

As this is going on, Eclipse takes over Solar Flare's body.

Moon catches up to Sun in one of their bunkers and, after fighting again, traps him inside an invisible prison and leaves him there for his own good and to chill out. Which ends up being a bad idea as Sun begins to hallucinate BloodMoon who taunts and torments him (because he actually DOES feel remorse) until he screams and manages to shatter the magic barrier with his own emotion-fueled magic.

And thus Sun continues with his plan of hunting down Eclipse while Moon magically enters his own head with one of his computer AI's along for the ride to try and get rid of KC. Unaware of the fact his brother is free or how KC is just out and about talking and hanging around with everyone while masquerading as him and realizing that he DOESN'T WANT TO KILL PEOPLE ANYMORE.

KC just wants to live and appreciate life.

BUT THEN

The creator comes out of nowhere as KC is contemplating existence in the woods to reveal how he wasn't a glitch in Moon's code as he'd told them but an INTENDED FEATURE.

Moon was made to kill people, and KC not killing people was going against the Creator's grand scheme of punishing humanity. So he utilizes his control over Moon's body's programing to instill the desire to kill in KC again and sends him off.

But KC manages to resist and makes it back to the Daycare and hunkers down in Moon's room for the next few days.

Sun, as this is going on, finds the base Eclipse is in and confronts him. But things obviously don't go as planned and he is unable to kill him in the end. Instead, Sun lets out another explosive burst of energy while attempting to save himself and ultimately destroys Moon's magic pool, which the base was built on, trapping him in his own head.

AGAIN.

He learns this from Eclipse who sends him off to find Golden Freddy and then uses the opportunity to go and look for the Star again. He decides to pay a visit to Lunar and plant a bomb in his head to use him as a bargaining chip with Monty (cause Monty has been hiding the Star up to this point) since he has a soft spot for him.

But he only goes the Lunar bait route after first trying to threaten Moon's computer AI to send him to another dimension that has a Star so he can try and steal it (unaware another dimension's star won't work outside the one it exists in). And that gets him sent to meet Nice Eclipse who sees right through his disguise and laughs in his face over his stupidity and desperation.

Thus officially starting Eclipse's Pathetic Arc.

Sun, after getting a piece of Golden Freddy's soul to use magic, returns to the site of the magic pool where Moon's circle used to be and attempts to reconstruct the circle. However, BloodMoon begins tormenting him in the form of hallucinations again and he ends up messing up and is unable to restore it. Dooming Moon to be trapped in his head forever.

Sun begins to breakdown just as Earth (who had been wandering around on her way to the daycare the entire time after she was first sent to live with Sun and Moon cause she's a bit of an airhead) crosses his path and provides him with comfort and support as he cries.

The two of them then go back to the Daycare where KC, pretending to be Moon for Sun's sake, assures him things will be fine and tells Sun to go out and buy food for his cat since the autofeeder he had for it ran out while he was off on his murder quest (Davis has catS IRL and sometimes in videos you can hear meows and him talking to said cats so they just decided to make it that Sun owns a cat to explain it sldkjsldfk)

While Sun is gone, KC and Earth talk a bit. KC once again being moved by the kindness of strangers before retreating into Moon's room again to enter his own mind and talk with Moon.

As this is going on, Eclipse threatens to blow up Lunar if Monty doesn't hand over the Star.

And Monty does.

Though it was ultimately for nothing as Eclipse then blows up Lunar in front of Monty anyway.

One of Lunar's nanomachines managed to survive tho so Monty zip zap zooms to a space station where he can rebuild him. But Eclipse materializes out of the ether and threatens him to stay on earth so he goes back, leaving Lunar to be repaired slowly.

At some point after this, Monty beats up his old con artist ex-friend and resets his memories to make him into his friend again cause he's lost everything and has abandoned all hope at this point. And thus the Monty Gator and Foxy show is born. (Which is a whole other can of worms. One aspect being that Monty has a shitty BIRTH father so I just kinda ignore everything unless it connects back to the Sun and Moon Show)

Back in Moon's head, he and KC talk things out. And, upon realizing that KC has changed for the better, Moon can no longer bring himself to kill him as planned because he doesn't want to be responsible for killing another person as KC has proven himself to be. One capable of change like he had tried to convince Sun that BloodMoon might have been capable of had they been given the chance.

Which had been an argument he had made when first trying to talk Sun out of killing Eclipse.

But the only way for both him and KC to live at this point has a 98% chance of factory resetting Moon and deleting all his memories.

So, Moon records a message for Sun and gives it to KC to give to his brother.

And then Moon is ultimately reset.

In the middle of Sun coming to terms of Moon being reset and trying to bring New Moon up to speed on who he and Earth are; Eclipse shows up just to show off and gloat how he got the Star.

But New Moon, of course, doesn't remember who he is or what the Star does so he doesn't really care.

And Sun is just completely dead inside. Especially at the reveal of Lunar being dead (Sunny boy feeling the guilt of his last conversation with him).

So Eclipse doesn't really get much satisfaction from it.

And then Eclipse enacts his new plan for the world instead of completely resetting it:

Rewriting everyone's memories so that he's the good guy and Sun and Moon are the bad guys and occasionally zapping them to random dimensions just to make their lives hell because he literally has nothing else going for him in life.

Monty managed to avoid getting his memories rewritten from being in space trying to fix Lunar at the time he did it (this is before Eclipse threatened Monty) but has to pretend like they were for the time being.

So only Monty, Earth, and the boys know the truth of what happened.

And New Moon has to relearn everything by watching all the recorded footage from his and Sun's perspective over the past couple years because he never backed himself up like Eclipse did because of KC.

Surprisingly, a lot of the old Moon is still in New Moon. But New Moon is a hella lot more considerate and kinder than his pre-amnesia self. His and Sun's dynamic having completely shifted since his reset.

He also shows more symptoms of ADHD (What Moon himself says he has) than he did originally.

As Sun and New Moon are busy picking up the pieces of the mess Eclipse made and figuring out what to do with him (and with Sun STILL VERY MUCH HALLUCINATING AND SUICIDAL AT THIS POINT BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING WITH ECLIPSE AND LUNAR AND THE LOSS OF OLD MOON), Eclipse is slowly killing himself the more he uses the star with no other plan or intention to do anything substantial with it other than making sure people still like him and making Sun and New Moon suffer because of his abandonment issues.

Eclipse legit gets mad when he appears in their room (likely intending to mock them when they return from a trip he sent them on) where he ends up encountering Earth who tries to talk to him about his feelings and psychoanalyze him.

Dude has no real plan anymore and legit considered recruiting Freddy and Toy Chica's fucking baby but got scared off by Mimic telling him it would anger Golden Freddy.

At some point, Monty also finally meets Earth and they start dating.

Which New Moon wants to punch Monty over when he finds out.

Cause this literally happens not long after they finally interact again for the first time in months since his reset. Mostly because Monty didn't ask for his and Sun's blessing first cause THAT'S THEIR SISTER.

Also New Moon and Monty became fast friends all over again. And Monty let the boys know that Lunar was still alive. He's just still in space because Puppet (THE Puppet) is supposed to retrieve him but hasn't yet.

While attempting to find out how to stop Eclipse, New Moon manages to somehow get connected to a camera in their creator's base where he and Sun learn he is just a GIANT FLOATING BRAIN along with how he's using them as a scapegoat for his greater plans.

But Sun leaves the room as New Moon learns that, in addition to that, Earth is being used as an unwitting pawn to upload incriminating files into Fazbear Entertainment's database.

Still deeming Eclipse the bigger threat at the moment, even after Sun blows up at him over how he has nothing and is pathetic the last time he tried to mess with them since getting the Star, New Moon goes to the dimension with the nice Eclipse and they discover the code that Solar Flare (who is still alive and pulling the same shit Eclipse did to Sun with refusing to be removed so Eclipse can't get himself a better body that can handle the Star's power basically all: "We die together bitch") had given him to get rid of him. And upon learning that Lunar was killed by our Eclipse, nice Eclipse agrees to help and sacrifice himself (since it would kill him too once they lure Eclipse to his dimension) on the condition that New Moon helps to repair his Sun and Moon when he's gone.

Also Monty in Nice Eclipse's dimenstion is British is basically Elon Musk.

That point really isn't important other than the jokes about New Moon and Nice Eclipse hating him but I had no idea how else to include it.

New Moon then travels to Nice Eclipse's dimension again after gathering materials to begin building the satellite that will broadcast the code to kill Eclipse (which will take him a month in Nice Eclipse's dimenstion but will only really be a week in our time). And Sun, in his current mental state, is also composing his own plans to get rid of Eclipse just in case it doesn't work out cause he wants to protect his brother and not have him sacrifice himself again.

Said plan involves creating another Star to fight him with. And findinge KC (who got his own body and is currently out exploring) cause he might have Moon's memories that would be of help.

Also Ruin DLC!Eclipse had shown up at some point via portal and is now just running around causing havoc by just existing.

He punched New Moon in the face.

And then New Moon trapped him in a karaoke booth.

But then Freddy went and let him out thinking he was saving an innocent person and now the dude ALSO wants the Star.

Ruin!Eclipse vs. Wet Dorite Eclipse when?

Upon New Moon's return to their dimension, Sun shares his plans and what he heard from Golden Freddy. New Moon hears him out but explains how that might not work but is willing to give it a shot to some extent.

But they still have to find KC first.

Which ends up being rather easy cause the dude is just going around working in soup kitchens and the like despite living off the grid.

KC explains the options that Sun and New Moon have. One of which is one of them becoming a conduit for Star energy to fight Eclipse.

However, that might kill whoever does it.

When New Moon returns to Sun he explains KC is going to stop by after they've discus and decide what it is they're going to do. But before that, Hatsune Miky (yes, I'm not kidding) appears out of nowhere and has apparently been stalking them and is one of those crazy fans who hates and blames everything that's happened in the show thus far on Sun.

Sun, who may I remind, is VERY MENTALLY NOT OKAY AND WANTS TO DIE.

At the same time this is happening, Eclipse begins plan: "Instil False Hope".

Which is just going to Earth and Gaslight Gatekeep Girlbossing her.

Though not until after encountering Puppet and trying to recruit him to his side first. But he only succeeds in making himself mad because Puppet is such a GODDAMN WEEB.

Anyway, he attempts to manipulate Earth by saying he's INCREDIBLY sorry and wants to change.

But he does it SOOOO unconvincingly and while underestimating Earth's intelligence just because she insists on being kind to him. Constantly, and not so subtly, insulting her the whole time that she's able to see right through his bull and calls him out on it. Especially when he brings up how Sun (before it was known Eclipse or BloodMoon existed and were in control of him) killed kids along with Old Moon.

She points out that if he really wanted to change, he wouldn't tell her something like that. And after her patience is tried, she tells him she's being far kinder to him than he deserves and that he doesn't really want to change or be helped. He's just pathetic and wants to make everyone as miserable as he is.

Earth then decides she and her brothers have to talk cause she doesn't know who's telling the truth anymore after Eclipse tells her to go fuck herself and, failing to teleport away, walks off.

#sams #the sun and moon show spoilers #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams spoilers

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whitedemon-ladydeath · 3 months

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lmao Rhys has superglued that mask to his face so when all the high lords were able to take theirs off, Rhys never did. Even if he appears that way to Feyre, he has Always been putting on a performance with her

ik feyre says he's being honest or whatever with her, but he gets to pick and choose which honestly matters. He gets to pick and choose what he divulges leaving him to lie by omission or outright lie

Upon meeting the ic, Rhys was still actively putting on a performance. So was, quite frankly, the IC. As much as Rhys says "I don't enforce rank" we still see him do it. He does it with Amren, he does it with Mor, he does it with Cassian and in the bonus chapter he does it with Azriel

Rhys has never been genuine unless it is to gain an advantage of some sort; the cabin scene where he explains all the horrible things Amarantha did to him- he never *actually* apologized. that was an explanation

Rhys gaining allies with the war from the other HLs was meant to be him "taking the mask off". But again, he only was honest to a point and that honesty was used for a reason- it was not from a place of genuine transparency and quite frankly, with how Beron behaved, with how old Beron is, with him having had been allies with Keir, Beron saw straight through it and he was challenging Rhys' honestly (that's my own interpretation of that scene)

The choices Rhys gives Feyre are skewed in his favor or he doesn't tell her anything at all

He did not tell her about the Attor hunting her down and she was deeply upset about it. He didn't tell her about any of the plans he made with Keir and the Darkbringers. She found out at the same time as Mor. He didn't tell Feyre about the life threatening pregnancy that was going to kill her, him and very likely their child and then threatened to kill Nesta when she did tell Feyre

Rhys uses sex as a means of manipulation and control over a situation, over Feyre. We watch him time and again smooth over arguments with sex. Rhys and Feyre argue about her sister, and Feyre telling him to leave the situation alone, and Rhys more-or-less doesn't answer and they have sex. note: I am not saying he is *intentionally* doing this but it is a pattern of behavior

Rhys had a mask before he went UtM, and then he used it to his advantage and imo I think he uses that same mask to not only instill fear and intimidation on others, but as a way to avoid dealing with the trauma he had endured from before UtM and the trauma from UtM

and it has, quite frankly, led to a lot of decisions and actions that are textbook abusive and a lot of people have fallen into the trap of viewing his actions as ✨️trauma✨️ when it's trauma and covert abuse

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #sjm critical #anti rhysand #rhysand meta

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indigo-constellation · 2 months

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the Pathologic essay I wrote last year about why I think the Haruspex route Utopian ending is the overall best ending, I still stand by what I said however this somewhat structured essay holds less than half about how much I care about this ending.

In the game Pathologic there are three different routes, each corresponding to each healer. The story also has several endings, one for each of the bound (characters which as the name implies, are bound to their individual healer) as well as a bad ending if the player fails to find any sort of viable solution for the plague. This ability to choose the ending belonging to another healer is an incredibly telling one on the part of the characters, especially when it comes to the Haruspex, and his ability to choose the Utopian, and the Bachelor’s ending. This ending also works quite well when considering the wider narratives of the Haruspex’s route, including the future of the town, his role and sacrifice, and the metanarrative of the story.

In all three routes there lays quite a large weight on the future of the town, as of course it is the battle of the ending, of which vision of the town would become reality. The Haruspex’s bound is known as the Termites, a collection of children who learned from Isidor Burakh, Artemy Burakh’s father. Their ending is the one in which the Polyhedron is destroyed and the town stands, ready to be developed by a future generation. However, it is discovered in one of the other routes of the story, the Bachelor’s route (we will get to him later) that the source of the infection lies underneath the town, in the pockets of blood which have collected beneath. This means that the plague can never be fully defeated unless the town itself is destroyed, as the Polyhedron has already pierced the ground, meaning that there is no returning the plague to its dormant state, trapped underneath the earth. On the other hand, the other side of the river is entirely uninhibited, clean of the plague. This complete lack of prior development also means an ability to create a new town.

The new town built after the Utopian ending is one made, as the name implies, by the Utopians, however, the asymmetrical narrative changes depending on which healer is the one being currently played by the player, so following that logic, the endings would be influenced as well. This would hypothetically mean that the vision Capella has for the future of the town, one in which the Haruspex is a leader of the kin, and the town would be led by the children, could still find its place within the new town. There are also direct connections between the Utopians and Termites as well, such as Casper Kain, also known as Khan, of the termites, being a termite while also being part of the Kain family, which means that despite the rocky relationship amongst the family, he is still a heir to that power. Capella as well, is the sister of Vlad the younger, who at that point is the eldest Olgymsky remaining, and the projected leader of the town’s industry in the new town, she has also planned her engagement to Khan, meaning that she would then have a connection to Kain family as well. Apart from these direct connections, the entirety of the bound is important, each member, independent of faction, still able to impact the future of the town, and in order to achieve the Utopian ending in the Haruspex route both the Termites and Utopians must be fully healed. However these are the more hypothetical results of the ending, in the game itself the cutscene remains the same for whichever healer chooses the ending, which can imply the uniformness of the ending. However even though the Utopian ending described in differing routes can still serve the Haruspex well, the utopia described in the Bachelor route is explicitly stated to need the Earth, “…it's all about what's down below. It requires dirt. A ruby firmament needs something to sit atop-otherwise it'd topple.” This coincides well with the future Capella predicts, with the Haruspex taking his place as the foreman of the Abattoir, showing that there is, in fact, a place for the “earthly and the humane” in the new town. The connections described within the route, the needs of the utopia, and especially the influence of the Haruspex himself, would allow the Utopian ending to be a fitting future in the Haruspex route.

Another very present aspect of the Haurpsex’s route is that of his sacrifice, the idea that he must destroy, kill, something or someone in order for his ending to occur. This concept is mentioned a few times, however it is only fully explained by Katerina Saburova, “You will make a sacrifice. There will be rivers of blood, and that will be your doing.” While I can go into a whole other essay about the ideas of the sacrifice (and I do), we will for this essay’s sake, take the sacrifice as it’s surface level in pathologic classic, and how it’s implications mean that choosing the Utopian ending would have better long-term effects and also complete the Haruspex’s journey.

The Haruspex’s story follows a more classical hero’s journey rather than the Bachelor’s tragedy, with the abattoir symbolising the other world, and Oyun assigning the quite literal trials the Haruspex must go through. Once the Haruspex defeats the Foreman and becomes the new Foreman of the abattoir, however, he is still not respected by the butchers, who require a sacrifice from him. This duality of both the mistress’ prophecy and the requirement of the butchers also shines a light on the Haruspex in Pathologic Classic, someone who knows that he is of two worlds, however also a person who takes pride in both of them, and brings them together.

In the Termite ending the sacrifice is not fulfilled, the Haruspex is not allowed access to the blood, the plague looms as a remaining threat, and the Polyhedron still falls, for nothing.

Unlike in Pathologic 2, where the Polyhedron is quite literally piercing through the heart of the Earth, slowly killing her, in classic it is nowhere near that fatal, still harmful, but not fatal.. This important distinction is also important to make with the fact that while the blood would still seep out from the open wound if the tower were to fall, it would be limited, and would dry out at some point, while on the other hand, completing the sacrifice would allow the Haruspex access to the blood in the Earth, as the butchers would allow him to find the hidden reserves.

The sacrifice herself, Aglaya Lilich is someone already doomed by the powers that be, a doll loved by their mother and so hated by them, she dies in every ending but the Termites’. There is, of course, a point to be made about the theme of a woman having to die for a man’s journey is not a good one, and choosing this ending would feed into a harmful cliche, however, her death is something she herself understands, and although she urges the Haruspex not to make it, she acknowledges that she is meant to be the sacrifice, that choosing this choice will be enough, “If you lead him to victory, you may consider your sacrifice made. You return to the exultant butchers, triumphant.” Her death is not regarded as a simple shock factor to the end of the story, it is the pivotal choice the Haruspex must make. This is also shown in the Changeling route, where saving Aglaya is seen as an act of deceit, as even Clara’s ending, which saves the town, requires Aglaya to die, as Aglaya is a ‘queen’ an important piece on the board at the end of the game, her life only allows for the Termite ending, only allows for the Haruspex to lose his standing within the kin, and only allows for the sacrifice of the Polyhedron.

The Polyhedron is viewed as the sacrifice in the case that the Haruspex seeks to save Aglaya, however would it even work as one? The sacrifice needed is one of equal value to the Udurgh, the body that contains the world, and if the Utopian route is the one followed, the Udurgh is Simon Kain, and so the sacrifice must be someone who is more than human, and yet human. The Polyhedron, on the other hand, contains no human element, yet, it is the container for a human soul, a chimaera of living and nonliving, however in the Termite ending it is empty, and therefore cannot serve as sacrifice. Both Katerina and Capella’s opinions support the Bachelor’s argument in favour of the Polyhedron standing as well, Katerina outright claiming that “ I know for sure that you are to destroy a woman…” However, seeing that Katerina’s prophecies are often wrong, this statement must be taken with a pinch of salt. On the other hand, Capella clarifies that while Simon is merely a man in the current time, however, “Had Simon been reborn though, had he transferred his spirit to a new vessel-a body huge, perfect, and able to let others in... then he could have been called that.” Well, that rebirth, that new vessel she describes just so happens to match up incredibly well to the Polyhedron, this means that for the Udurgh to exist, for the Haruspex to fulfil his purpose, he must let the Polyhedron stand, must let Simon become the Udurgh. These ideas of sacrifice, of fate, and most importantly, of duty and purpose, greatly define the Haruspex’s story, and the Utopian ending is the only ending which gives it the needed satisfaction by its end.

All of the prior points about the town and the sacrifice have been made with the greatest levels of constraint I was able to amount, this paragraph, admittedly, will be much more personal, as the reasoning it presents was the initial reason for my appreciation of this ending. Simply saying, this paragraph will discuss this ending and the Haruspex’s connections, specifically the connection to the Bachelor. This entire essay could have been written only about this, specific subject, however, there was much more to be said about this ending, and the exercise in restraint was appreciated, despite the, challenges (No Zero I cannot give into the g urges early, fruit.) This paragraph will discuss the relationship between the Bachelor and the Haruspex (of course) as well as the metanarrative of Pathologic classic, especially when it comes to the ends and in considering the Bachelor route in comparison to the Haruspex one.

During the Bachelor run, there is not a single chance to access the abandoned workshop the Haruspex works in, even trying to teleport into the workshop will fail, This comes with the precedent that as the Bachelor, you will not meet the Haruspex until the fifth day, from which point on he is only truly present for days 5,8,9, and of course, day 12. This is of course, a great disservice and the Pathologic 2 route should really have more Haruspex in it, however on a less tangential point, it a great difference from the haruspex route, in which the Bachelor appears for almost every single day of the playthrough, The Bachelor is likely to be the character the player interacts with the most, and over the game the connection between the two characters grows over time, with the Bachelor switching to use Artemy Burakh’s first name. However this closeness between the two is present throughout the entirety of the route, from the very first line the Bachelor speaks to the Haruspex (We will get to that later) to even the descriptions of quests and locations which the Haruspex takes note of, even I was surprised at just how much there was between these two in my first playthrough. All that builds to the point in which these two characters, at the very least, care for one another, deeply enough that the Haruspex has multiple dialogue options which are explicitly supportive of the Utopian ending within his Cathedral discussion with the Bachelor, with all but two of the dialogue branches allowing him to ask the Bachelor for his advice, and only one serving as a direct rejection. And that is what choosing the Termites ending in the Haruspex route is, a rejection, all throughout the route the Bachelor will attempt to convince the Haruspex of the validity of his ending, and in the Haruspex route, the Utopian ending is incredibly tied to the Bachelor, to Daniil Dankovsy, with the implication that if tower, if the last remainder of his research will not survive, that neither will he. Much like Aglaya, his fate is tied to the aspect of the town he is bound to protect. The Bachelor, who, while still placed as more antagonistic, still has his choice, his option for the ending still weighed as equally as the Inquisitor’s, the story places them as equals, “Two diverging pairs of decisions. Both pre-determined…” Which also clarifies that the Utopian ending was never less free than the Termite one, as they are both pre-written, scripted.

This leads into another extremely important aspect of Pathologic Classic HD, the meta, not only can you be reminded twice per round that the story is not real, but multiple characters and scenarios note that this is still a game, still a story the player is playing a part of. A big part of the meta story is the fact that the town is in fact, a sandbox, and the characters are merely dolls. The Polyhedron is a water container which was stuck into the sand, and the water within it had caused a mold, causing the sand pest within the reality of the characters. Removing the tower would help nothing; the mold has already spread, the only option forward is to remove the sand, or play somewhere else, which is what the destruction of the town means, the Utopian ending is the only one which actually, truly addresses this.

Another very meta aspect of the story is the relationship between the Haruspex and Bachelor, which is seen in the very first line spoken from the Bachelor to the Haruspex. The order the game suggests the routes is to begin with Bachelor, continue to Haruspex, and end with Changeling, and viewing the story as one continuous thing in that order adds a lot of depth to the story, with, “ Yes... Far be it from me to call myself a person of mystical inclinations. However, when I look at you, I get the feeling that nature is playing jokes on us. It's as if both the left and the right hand have clutched the head to realise for the first time that they are two parts of a single whole.” The Bachelor quickly disarms the player, not only is this statement a clear representation of the fact that they are two parts of a single whole, they are all healers, all part of the role the player plays, but this line is just plain out not something to say to someone you just met. Dankovsky continues his, less than normal interactions towards the Haruspex throughout the route, to the point that two of them have the closest connection here than almost any other two characters in any route, to the point even the developers themselves reflect upon it in that same dialogue I mentioned before, “Two diverging pairs of decisions… And then, you see, there were also feelings involved... Love.” While this can be applied to Aglaya instead, in the context of the conversation, which is Clara asking the developers about the two other healers specifically, that simply would not make sense. There is a lot more textual and meta evidence about these two, but I am straying off course too much already and this paragraph is already very very long, so we will just move swiftly back to the actual point of the essay :) (BUT YES I COULD WRITE A WHOLE ENTIRE THING ABOUT HOW DANIIL IS WRITTEN AS A LOVE INTEREST IN THIS ROUTE)

Let us not forget, however, a reason as to why the Bachelor wishes to destroy the town, and that is that Daniil is incredibly petty and jealous of Aglaya, from the initial curiosity at their initial meeting, “...She was so impressed by your dignified demeanour … What did you tell her that touched her so much?” To the outright spiteful, “My dear Burakh, she is your sacrifice! I don't think it is at all necessary to slit her throat with your own knife … if the town is destroyed, the head of Aglaya Lilich will be separated from her shoulders in less than a day.” He also partially agrees with Artemy that he seeks to keep the Polyhedron out of spite. However one must take into consideration the Bachelor’s route, in which he is consistently used and betrayed, the biggest offender being the Inquisitor herself. The only person who does not do so is the Haruspex, so it makes sense he would do quite literally anything to keep that being the case.

The fact is, Daniil Dankovsky suffers, in almost every single ending he is not at a good place, all of the endings from his own route for one, as that route is quite literally a tragedy, as well as the fact that Eva is dead in it, that also goes for Changeling route endings, as well as the fact that in that route he is in general incapable of a happy ending, which only leaves the Haruspex’s route for him to have any possibility of contentment (sorry g boy) Immediately we can also rule out the Termite ending in the Haruspex route, and in the Humbles ending he is the only one without a place, the Haruspex, as the Foreman, would still have a role to play, but Daniil would not, her victory is also the least rational one, and therefore, the hardest one for him to agree with. That leaves, of course, one ending, the Haruspex route Utopian ending, in which the Bachelor is not left in misery.

Other than that, this ending, just like all endings in which the player picks the ending of the bound other than their healers’ is a direct victory over fate, over the ‘set’ ending for the route. The executor, the stand-in for the developers in the ending of the game says as much, “The only enemy, the only evil in this story, you see, is called Inevitability…” This also lends itself to the idea that the belief that there is only one ‘right’ ending for each healer, that they should only be considered by their bound’s choice, is a wrong one. This refusal of fate, refusal of the ending implied to be the ‘correct’ choice of the Haruspex since the very beginning of the game, is the ultimate victory of the player, and of the characters with them.

In almost all discussion of the Pathologic endings, the only possibilities considered are the ones given, each healer choosing their own bound’s end, but Pathologic is far more dynamic than that. The story is asymmetrical, and so are its endings, which is why Bachelor’s route Utopian ending is quite possibly the most tragic, hopeless one, and the Haruspex route one is the complete opposite. There is no ‘good’ ending, of course, no, that would be too simple, however, there are some which are clearly better than others, and due to the future of the town, the impact this has on the Haruspex’s story, and arguably most importantly, the meta and interconnected aspects of this ending, it can be considered as a good ending. It is a belief that the Utopian ending in any context, is a bad one, however, in the words of the Haruspex himself, “Any choice is right as long as it’s willed.”

#pathologic #daniil dankovsky #artemy burakh #pathologic classic hd #burakhovsky #implied #a lot of the rest of my thoughts can be boiled down to “i kinned danko too hard oops”/hj #but there is so much to be said about this one particular ending and the way it does have the longest term good impact on the world #unlike most other patho endings which when considered outside of a vacuum would be really bad as things to happen to the real world #don't want to get into how the termite and humble endings are kinda conservative but utopian is the only one driving the world forwards #under artemy's influence it's even better

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starkiss-abyss-station · 2 months

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✧.* ୨⎯ "Yandere Genshin Pairs" ⎯୧ ✧.*

✎.... general hc of yandere pairs that could go well or not

TW: D.C, typical yandere behavior, implied Nsfw

some grammar errors too-

Yandere pairing that would work

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Ayato and Thoma

Compatibility: 9/10

The way you could look at this is good cop and bad cop, except you get bad cop first in the sense that Ayato will trap you into this arrangement, oh he's still nice but the sadism hidden beneath his smile will make itself known, and Thoma is the good cop, as in super nice and soft yandere who gives you closure. There is a big difference on how they handle you in your daily needs; as that's very important to them. We already know Thoma is very skilled in making meals, chores, anything of sort is taken care of by him. While Ayato makes sure to take care of any financial needs and trouble that follows you. With these generous acts, they lure you to only spend time with them unless Ayato has to do something, which then leads to you being under Thoma's care until he's done.

Now the true nature of Ayato as a bad cop shows up when you "act stupid" as he puts its, leaving the Kamisato estate and the eyes he put to follow you is barely a slim chance while escaping Inazuma? Impossible. As the commissioner Ayato doesn't hesitate to make sure that nobody is out there to help you with such plans, you're never leaving. Ayato is always smiling, but his condescending look and mocking smile makes you shrink in size when he's in a bad mood like this. Don't even think you can look at Thoma for help or ask him. His heart does hurt for you, truly it does, but his loyalty to the Kamisato clan is far greater, especially considering this is the safest way to keep you with him. There's a high chance he tells Ayato everything you say, including escape plans or anything that might raise concerns even if it leads to harsh punishments. So it's best to make due with what you can and smile with it.

The moment you step foot in Inazuma and catch Ayato's attention, his reputation as head of the Kamisato clan and of the Yashiro commission will put you in the spotlight. Your every word, move and even breathing will be monitored by everyone, friends or enemies of Ayato; it doesn't matter. Being his partner will make it so even walking down the streets you'll end up hearing whispers, being stared at by everyone. The pressure paired together with the fact you don't want to be in a relationship such as this will feel as if you're being crushed, but don't worry, Ayato and Thoma were only doing this because they wanted to show how terrible the outside world is, only a few public apperances at a distance are fine, from now on you prefer to be locked inside the Kamisato Residence right?

Who leads the punishments? Ayato of course. Dear archons Thoma doesn't have a mean bone in his body to ever think you did anything wrong, but Ayato is very different. You're his partner, and you'll, of course, be his spouse in the future, so he must make sure you know everything beforehand. There are certain lines you can cross and many more that you can't, especially concerning the people you choose to interact with. Remember, he can easily tell if you're faking your love for him. He has strict rules and you must follow them all, you'll end up in tears and bruises by the time he's done but luckily Thoma is there. He'll patch up any cuts and bruises, kissing away the tears, and gently hug you while explaining that Ayato is just looking out for you and wants what's best. Ayato might break you if he has to but Thoma is always there to pick up the pieces and soothe the pain away, after all that's what he loves doing best; taking care of you.

In the end you might end up living a very lavish and easy life if you follow Ayato's rules, you have nothing to really work for and nothing to do all day. You can have certain hobbies that Ayato approves of but at the end of it you'll practically be a pretty doll in the Kamisato estate. Ayato is a huge part of this power imbalance but Thoma's softness for you may help you through a lot of days if you behave well, he'll even try to lighten your punishments if he thinks of them as too much.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Wrio and Neuv

compatibility: 8/10

Since both yanderes have similar senses of mental and emotional skills level-wise they would have good communication in handling the idea of sharing you and making a proper schedule in doing so. They're both very busy and it ended up with you being locked in the Palais Mermonia in the Court of Fontaine for one month, mostly in Neuvillette's office or having a separate room right next door, while the other month you're in the Fortress of Meropide with Wriothesley, and it continues on repeat. Considering they're both very busy people, as the Iudex and Duke, so communication between them concerning you is done through letters or annual reports, In most cases when they do meet face to face it is to deliver you to the other when it their monthly turn.

Escape is not an option. Being shared by the chief of justice and duke of the fortress does not allow room for privacy or any sort of escape route. Not only are you under constant watch by the gards in both settings but by the yanderes themselves, whether be it Neuvillette's dragon-like powers or the cameras around the fortress. But even then you being out and about is rare as is as usually, you're with them in their office, Neuvillette may not be the first to incline a form of physical intimacy like having you on his lap during work but you will be seated on the couch or close by where he could see you, but with Wrio you will have to be straddled on his lap if he has a big amount of paperwork to go through. Both have similar ways of handling you so you never feel out of place despite the sudden change of what you see for the rest of the month.

In any case, considering their reputations you would have to be a special a special kind of stupid to even try going against the duke, referred to as his grace by all criminals residing in there because the only law in the fortress is his mere word, with enough experience as a boxer and a prison warden as well, let alone the literal Dragon Sovereign of Water with legit political power and such a great reputation that one word from him and you'd be shunned. The power imbalance is far too great to the point you're shaken, factor in anything but everything is stacked against you. But no worries because they're not cruel enough to torture you, only a few punishment will make you understand how you should behave!

Cutting straight to the facts, Wrio will always be the one who punishes you. Not saying Neuv is a saint, considering his power he can do a lot but between the two of them, Neuvillette is a lot more patient and lacks certain knowledge of how specifically you should or should not behave. Wrio does find certain beatty behaviors amusing but he runs quite a few strict rules which you should obey, whether you're in the Fortress or with Neuvillette, and if you cross them he might break this one month only agreement for a visit to make sure you know where you should stand

Overall this pair is not bad, if you behave you'll find life rather easy. Power imbalance is a matter where you should watch what you say and do but these two individuals only want you to love them, as your behavior towards others should only be nonchalant. Besides Neuvillette being patient and Wriothesley content with the arrangement, you can only hope you remain human.

Absolute bad pairs of Yandere

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Kaeya and Diluc

Compatibility: 6/10

Their pettiness knows no bounds, ever since the reveal they both loved you Diluc is in a constant state of irritation because of Kaeya and Kaeya, while ignoring Diluc, acts like himself, if not for the rare moments of throwing snide remarks. We all know Diluc's strong opinions about how useless the knights of Favonius are, to him Kaeya has no right to protect you or even TRY to, because he'd fail. Kaeya has the poker face that any spy would be proud of, but when told to his face by Diluc that he can't properly keep you safe his mood would sour instantly. Kaeya knows his behavior towards you exceeds normal feelings but at least he MEETS UP with you and TALKS, he definitely brought up that Diluc being a stalker was way creepier, he can't keep hiding behind the “knight in shining Armour” title

But, while Diluc's pettiness is reserved for them two only, Kaeya openly expresses it to you instead. He's proud of the fact he is able to build a proper relationship with you, and he will use it to his advantage; subtly hinting how Diluc is no fun, how he can get VERY dangerous when he snaps. He'd poke fun at Diluc's preference for grape juice, calling it unromantic, if Diluc is around he's more touchy, giving long and tight hugs whenever he drops you at his brother's place. Seriously, Kaeya was planning to be nice and peaceful but Diluc pushed first and decided “Nooooo, lemme bitch about it and continue being on bad terms”. As if Kaeya would take that when it came to you.

Now while Diluc might have the biggest resting bitch face that Celestia needs to award, he's soft for you. He'd like to spoil you, be sweet, protect you. But unfortunately for him he has to save those moments when it's just you two, and it's difficult when Kaeya is there always annoying him and making him lose his temper. But he gets his revenge, sprinkling some elemental fertilizers around Mondstad's gates for the knights to have something to busy themselves with, and drown Kaeya in paperwork so he can't meet with you. He's slacked off enough and Jean isn't too appreciative of it. You'll end up seeing Diluc chuckling and even smiling to himself, explaining how business is going very smoothly.

While they had a rough past and end up in each other's nerves a lot, Diluc and Kaeya still consider themselves brothers deep down. It's better if they remain passive aggressive while having more eyes on you than just arguing and killing each other. It would be awful if Kaeya had to lose the other charming part of his face, and Diluc would rather die than have your pretty eyes see him in a different light.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Wrio and Lyney

Compatibility: 1/10

Everything is not about you but at the same time it is, This pair is very very subtle about anything related to you but they're also at each other's throats verbally. They have no problem throwing hands behind your back but when you turn to look they act as if nothing happened; oh the wall looks nice, lemme count my cards again. In the past they MIGHT have come to an agreement but with what happened when Lyney and his siblinge investigated the Fortress, never. Wrio tried once, Lyney gave him a death stare and snark, and Wrio didn't bother trying again. Because of what happened Lyney considers Wrio too dangerous, it gets under his skin and he tries to make his visits in the Fortress more frequent to make sure you’re fine but it's always for a limited time because of Wrio. Whenever they meet up so you can be given to the other, rest assured that Lyney drops his smiling facade for a moment to throw at least one snide and irritated remarke at Wrio; who usually returns it. You're asked a hundred questions when you get at his place.

Questions are a LOT and they must be in detail- otherwise Lyney will assume you've been drugged to not remember anything. They range from how you're treated at the fortress, not just by the duke but by everyone, to what you ate, your activities- he even does full inspections to make sure not even a strand from your hair is missing. Now, Lyney is slightly impulsive and there were a lot of times when he asked those questions right in front of Wrio’s face, and of course Wriothesley answered those questions for you, saying there's no need for all this inspection which earned him an annoyed glare, a snap from Lyney to “Stay out of it, I'm checking up on my dove”. Even after taking you out Lyney just can't HELP but worry, you're finally getting some sun and good food, it must be so cramped in the fortress, are you SURE Wrio didn't do anything? Please answer honestly, Lyney will make sure to talk to him. Once you're back, Wrio isn't short of questions either. It's a dangerous world out there and Lyney is in THE dangerous organization of Teyvat, the magician didn’t take you anywhere near the fatui right? Even if you answered all the questions perfectly, after you're escorted back to your room, an argument immediately heats up between the two of them. They're at each other's throats, spewing threats of violence and might even get physical if something actually DID happen to you.

This pair can’t even be considered a shared pair in all honestly, it's more like trying to verbally tug you closer to themselves completely, mostly because they don't wish to hurt you but their hatred for each other is too much. Lyney would always talk to you about it, saying that if you were just his you wouldn't have to live in suchca deadman land full of criminals. With him your whole life would be nothing but filled with fun tricks, magic and shows, full of color (and illusions). You'd be safe with his siblings and father would also protect you. Lyney always nitpicks when Wrio punishes you, sighing saying he'd never do something so crude when teaching you manners. Every day of your life would be like a dream, you'd be too happy to be upset, he loves you too much to punish you, it would be different if you were his… Just his. Wrio never expresses it verbally but he clearly minds it when Lyney gets like this. It's annoying and irritsting seeing he has to share you with such a delusional person who can't comprehend that the outside world is too dangerous. He could give an entire monologue of why you'd be much safer in the fortress, away from prying eyes and tainted hands of the filthy creatures that want to snatch you away. But he keeps to himself and drinks his tea, listening to Lyney's rambles gets so annoying, he’s glad you have him to properly care for you rather than you just being under the magician's watch.

One thing is that they try to keep their issues between them, not wanting to put you in the middle of their crossfire. But with time patients are lost and the first to snap would be Lyney, he may lose his cool and try to deal with Wrio and dispose of him in some way, but Wrio always has backup plans, he'd hate to leave you alone under this reckless person. This pair is very messy but they always keep that mess away from your eyes.

#yandere genshin impact #yandere wriothesley #yandere lyney #yandere diluc #yandere kaeya #yandere ayato #yandere thoma #yandere neuvillette #✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* order from the stars *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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petaltexturedskies · 15 days

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Touched bottom again. Decided to liberate myself. We are never trapped unless we choose to be.

Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anais Nin, vol. IV: 1944-1947

#anaïs nin #anais nin

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skeletinmoss · 6 months

Text

Tutorial for @mimssides

How I draw with alcohol markers. Beginner edition

First off all I want to specify: this is based on my experience only, so take it with caution. This is also my first tutorial ever.

1) Have an underpaper.

Unless you use some really thick paper, markers will bleed on your next page or table ( depending if you're drawing in a sketchbook or not). I recommend to have one list of some decent paper under the page you're drawing on. Decent means thicker than office paper, can be watercolor paper, it usually perfect for it. It's reusable and over the years mine two look like this:

( you can see there's a lot of stuff going on there)

2) Always, and I mean ALWAYS erase your sketch.

If you're doing a quick try out of color combinations you can skip this step, because you don't need the aesthetic or anything. I'm not sure how useful this tip is for colored pencils ( cuz I never sketch with those), but with regular graphite pencil it's very much important. Graphite smudges your markers, and not only that. It also gets trapped if you go over it with a marker, meaning you wouldn't be able to erase it and it's going to leave you with gray smudges all over. Truly awful.

3) Have your pallets on the same paper you draw on. Or simply - have pallets!

Colors can show differently on different paper, that's why it's important to do color swatches once you buy your markers. They are designed for specific paper, and on your paper they can look a lot darker or really pale. I recommend testing colors before you buy them, it's usually an option in the most craft stores. If you're buying a set just take 30 minutes to do all the swatches and naming them. It also helps visually to see what colors you have.

(I have a lot, but you don't need as much, there's like 60 colors I use usually and the rest are on rare occasions. Build a set you're comfortable with)

4) Make sure your materials all work together.

We already talked about graphite swatches, not the worst thing that can happen to you. Mainly you need to make sure how your materials work together, how they lay on top of each other. Make sure your lineart won't react to your markers, there's special waterproof liners and those are the best for markers ( mine are Pigma Micron from Sakura). See how your pens and liners act before and after you apply markers.

Decide which is better to use before and which after markers

5) No black.

I don't use black in any of my drawings. All you see is different shades of gray. It looks much more pleasant with the rest of the colors and it allows for my lineart to be visible underneath. Sometimes even those grays are too dark and I need to add more shades or white lineart to fix it

6) How to shade.

This is a very subjective thing to talk about. You can shade how you want. I will talk about two ways I shade.

1. Same marker. Markers dry. And when they do you can go over them another time. Usually that makes a darker shade of the same color and it's a pretty safe way to do the shading if you don't know which colors can go together. It doesn't work as well on the light colors and difference can be barely noticeable. It's a nice way to get soft shading

2. The pure chaos. Just kidding... Different color marker. It's hard to explain, and yo always need to test what works for you. If you want sharper shade you need to grab a different color, can be from the same hue ( for yellow - orange, for red - burgundy) or something a little more spicy. You can add different hues to your colors with different shades ( your black with red shades is suddenly looks burgundy, or purple, or blue). Experiment! Fail! Find out which combinations work and which don't!

If color seems a little darker than you expect you can go over it with original color, which might lighten it up. This tip doesn't always work

7) How to do gradients.

1. Choose your colors beforehand, see how well they work together. It's easy to do a gradient from red to pink, but not so much from orange to blue. You might need to choose lighter colors, because if you want smooth transition from one color to another you will need to go over them a couple of times and that will darken them.

2. Add a middle color. Not every gradient needs a middle color, but with it you can make your gradient much smoother, it will be more noticeable the bigger aria you cover. The more middle colors you have the more harder gradients you can do

( without and with a middle color)

3. Act quickly. Markers dry relatively quickly so you need to add colors one after the other, you can't go away before you're done.

4. Blend with the lighter color. You can also start with this color as a base but that doesn't work for all color combinations. Lighter color will go in top a darker and flow into it making it lighter and transition smoother. ( example: you go from red to purple to cyan, you will need to start with red, then purple going over red to soften it, and finally the lightest cyan going over purple and maybe even a little red). You always put darkest first and go over it.

There's other methods of doing the gradients. They are very similar actually, but for second one you will need a blender. For the first one grab two markers you want to use ( more if you're feeling risky) turn one of the markers upside down and touch their tips. Now use your understanding of gravity. Color from the top marker will go into the bottom one. The longer you wait the longer the gradient will be. Usually I don't need to wait longer than 3 seconds.

And you can do the same with a blender

8) How to use a blender.

Blender is a marker with no color. Usually it's named B000 (I recommend buying a blender with brush tip). There are many ways to use it.

Gradients: you can use two markers technique with a blender making gradient fade on one end, or you can mix colors inside the blender.

Fixing mistakes: blender will make a white show through your color, you can use it to get rid of the wrong color. But it doesn't work without some problems. Of course darker colors will likely stay, even if much lighter, and your previous color will try to flee ( likely to other sides, if you're lucky it will go on your underpaper)

That's all I have for you today. Experiment and learn something new. Hope that helps

#traditional art #art advice #tutorial #art tutorial #long post

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lady-phasma · 1 year

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Can you do a daemon cockwarming scene?

Love your books btw

Thank you so much anon! If you were talking about my books in my Aemond cockwarming fic I always love coming up with fun titles!

NSFW - 18+ (warning is in the ask)

A/N: Kepa means father and uncle so here it is used more like “Daddy” than indicating any familial connection unless that’s how you choose to read this pair.

my gif

The rain hammered against the window glass. It was a constant hum behind the click-click pause, click-click pause of Daemon’s pacing in your chambers. His boot heels on the floor were sharp and beginning to annoy you.

“My Prince?” you asked and caught him mid-stride, cutting a click short. You didn’t look up at him from your seat. You heard him grunt in acknowledgment. Mm.

“Are you well, My Prince?” Your hands stilled in your lap. You carefully tucked the needle into the cloth stretched on the hoop. You laid it gently on your lap and rested your hands on it. Then you looked up toward the windows where Daemon had been pacing.

“I feel fine,” he spat out the word but without directing it at you. “It’s being trapped in this cunting castle which isn’t fine. The storms are too great for flying.” He paused and turned to look at you. “The rain has trapped me here with you, my lady, yet you are quite content.” He took a few steps toward the sofa where you sat.

“I should leave you to your…” he glanced down at your hands.

“Oh, embroidery,” you replied with a small, proud smile on your face. “A present for the newborn of a Baratheon Lady at court.” You held up the completed portion of a stag’s head.

“Mm-hmm. Well I would leave you to it, only…. I have nothing to do. I have no obligations today and had hoped to fly Caraxes.” You watched him step to the end of the sofa and wilt into the seat. He slumped against the back, hair sprawling as much as his arms and legs. He groaned and sighed. You couldn’t take your eyes off his neck as he leaned his head back. His eyes had closed so you let yours linger over the curve of his throat and the ridge of it as he swallowed. You pressed your thighs together in a vain attempt to quell the heat that began to rise between them.

“Might I offer some suggestions?” you asked gently. You laid the needlework on the arm of the sofa and turned toward him, knees still pressed tightly together. He cracked his eyes open and looked at you without raising his head.

“We could visit the library. I would think there are many books there which might hold your attention,” you continued. He only grunted. “Or perhaps view the new tapestries.” This suggestion brought forth a small snort of laughter.

“Well, then, the stables or Dragonpit? You could occupy yourself with repairing your saddle; though you have people who could do that for you. It would be something…” your voice trailed off.

There was a drawn out moment of silence before he closed his eyes again. Then he sat up, legs still akimbo. He looked at you. His violet eyes glinting in the fire light. You felt yourself blush and found you had begun to fidget. You recognized that mischievous smirk.

Daemon often got this look on his face. It never failed to make you blush and squirm. It was inevitably followed by some unseemly desire he had. You were a lady after all, such things should make you blush. However, Daemon’s charm, arrogance, and handsomeness always, would always, break through the remaining vestiges of your concern for impropriety.

“Come here, mērītsos,” he leaned toward you, reaching for your waist. Little one. He knew exactly what the pet name did to you. You didn’t sigh loudly but enough that you knew he had seen your chest fall. His fingers slipped around your back and you let him guide you. You half-stood to shift next to him. When you did he moved swiftly and grabbed your hips with both hands. You yelped from the insinuation as much as the surprise. He sat you on his lap and you immediately squirmed to get comfortable, feeling as though you might surely fall off. You clutched at the arm of the sofa for balance.

“That won’t do,” he half-whispered behind you. “Here, let me help you, my lady.” With a motion that would have been awkward for a man without his strength he lifted your hips, placing you almost on his knees and slid himself into a more prone position. You felt his hands moving behind you.

“Daemon, what… what are you up to?” you asked with an amused tone. You enjoyed his surprises, so you didn’t turn around when you asked.

“Entertaining myself in this damnable weather.”

“I do hope you find it incredibly entertaining, as it seems that it might be an inconvenience for me.”

“Oh, of that I am sure, my lady,” his sly and suggestive words drawled out like honey. Before you could retort, his hands were on you again. He lifted your skirts and you felt your cunt become hot and lightning shot from your core to your hardening nipples. He had not yet touched your bare skin. You whined his name when his hand brushed the inside of your thigh. He chuckled softly behind you.

“Stand for me, mērītsos.” You did. He continued to slide his hand up your dress, finding your undergarments. His other hand rucked the rest of your skirts up to your hips as he moved to pull your smallclothes down. You stepped out of them and immediately he put both his hands on your hips.

He lifted you bodily back into his lap. Your bunched skirts between your hips and his stomach made it impossible for you to lean back. However, they did not obstruct his hard cock pressed against your ass. You groaned. He laughed.

“My entertainment,” he replied.

He moved his hips slightly, distributing your weight. Your mind was nearly blank from your desire. You would let him do whatever he wished. You hoped the rain might never stop. The anticipation of what lay ahead increased your wetness and you briefly thought of the slickness against the leather of his pants. Before that thought was fully formed, Daemon slid his hand around between your thighs and stroked his fingers up your slit, expertly missing your now-throbbing clit. You whined again.

“So very wet for me, mērītsos. Yet you don’t know how I plan to keep myself entertained…” he trailed off. He leaned forward and grazed his open mouth against the sensitive skin at the slope of your neck and shoulder. You tried not to arch your back as his teeth played at biting you. He felt your wetness one more time then abruptly pulled his hand away.

“Retrieve your… what you were working on, needlepoint?” He didn’t explain but you knew to lean and grab it from the arm of the sofa. When you straightened up he sat forward enough to hover his lips near your ear. He kissed the lobe softly.

“Now, you’re going to sit here and continue your work and I’m going to watch you or… not. But you aren’t to move. You’re going to keep my cock warm in my tight, wet cunt.” He drew out the words in a way that made you shiver.

Before you could do anything but nod he gently lifted your hips and guided you to hover a moment while he reached between you. He slid his cock through your dripping folds; then, unceremoniously, he slid into you. He pulled you back down onto his lap. He was fully inside you with one stroke. The guttural noise you made almost embarrassed you. You started to roll your hips but he caught you after the first movement.

“No.” His voice was stern but gentle. “You will not move.” He leaned back and his cock twitched inside you. Your muscles were clenching around him nearly involuntarily, seeking that which you would not get. You inhaled shakily and steadied yourself with your thighs on his. As you pulled the needle from the fabric, your shoulders relaxed. You could not relax entirely, but you could focus. Behind you, Daemon shifted, reclining a bit. One hand left your hip to begin stroking your back. His fingers brushed against the naked skin at the nape of your neck and down over the lacing of your bodice. He sighed.

“Such lovely entertainment for kepa.” You thought you sensed a grin accompany this compliment. You couldn’t stifle a small whine through your gritted teeth.

Obediently, you began your embroidery work on the stag, your cunt filled full by Daemon, the rain, thankfully, coming down in harder sheets on the windows.

My masterlist

#thank you so much this got me through my writer’s block!#fic request #smut #daemon smut #daemon x fem!reader #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen #hotd fanfic #hotd #house of the dragon #x reader #hotd smut #matt smith

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l30ra · 5 months

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My fav domestic chainshipping headcanons :3

they decided to not move in together right away because they both needed to return to their regular daily routines for a bit to process the trauma before making such a massive change

(they're both autistic. this is important)

(extremely scheduled x extremely unscheduled bfs)

despite that, Lawrence would visit Adam almost everyday, as Adam struggled to get out of the house more and Lawrences divorce still needed to be finalized

After visiting Adam, Lawrence realizes he has... absolutely terrible habits in his home;

Barely any furniture, unstocked kitchen, not done laundry, etc.

And the worst offender of all: the paper plates

Adam absolutely HAAAATES doing the dishes, so for as long as he's been living independently, hes always eaten off paper plates, to throw them away afterwards

or.. to not? One night after a dinner Lawrence had made, with groceries Lawrence had brought over, Adam starts tearing up the plate and just starts. Eating it.

He was eating the paper plates. Because he thought they were food safe (they aren't)

"Hey, are you going to eat that?"

"Adam, my plate is empty. What do you mean?"

"The plate dumbass.. if you aren't, give it to me, I'll have it."

"Adam... Paper plates are very.. not edible."

"They say 'food safe on the box? That means they're edible. You sound dumb lol"

Lawrence immediately makes plans to take him shopping for actual dishware, all the while going on a ramble of the potential impacts of eating such things!

he decides then also to try and set Adam up on a good schedule, because he knows he'll be away for a few weeks as he finishes moving out of his old house, and he won't be able to see him

Adam says he'll only use plates if they're fun colored or with cool designs so.. thats what they get!

they also end up getting him one of those chore chart things

lawrence insists its not because Adams a baby, its just because he will literally forget to do certain things otherwise

lawrence has a great memory and a strict routine he always follows but adam (probably due to years of smoking the good lord green) has a shit memory and struggles to follow a routine but desperately needs one

Lawrence promises if Adam gets all his stuff done while hes gone they'll go out an do something

Lawrence LOVES plants, and Adam loves taking photos of him, so he chooses a botanical garden

Lawrence loves it, obviously, and Adam takes loads of photos of him to put in the scrapbook he refuses to show Lawrence

Speaking of, he loves scrapbooking, and still takes stalker-y candid photos of Lawrence (old habits die hard, I guess), so he scrapbooks loads about Lawrence

but he keeps it shut TIGHT. he refuses to tell Lawrence, and hides the scrapbooks at the back of his closet in the spare room he converted into a photo development room

Lawrence has some idea about Adam taking photos of him, but not to that extent

Once they finally move in together, they end up getting a three bedroom apartment. One room for them to share, and then a room for Lawrences plants, and a room for Adams photography

Lawrences room is filled with shelves and shelves on shelves of propagating plants and herbs

Adam begs him to grow weed, but Lawrence always says no

Despite having a room dedicated to it, the entire house is filled with plants, including Adams photography room because some of his plants grow better in little to no light

Despite that, he absolutely NEVER goes in there without explicit permission from Adam. He respects his privacy IMMENSELY

Even then, He probably won't even go in unless Adam is there to supervise

Whenever he goes in there, he always chastises Adam about all the chemicals, telling him he really should be using a mask, be careful with that one and that one, and you really should be airing this room out

despite the divorce, Alison and Lawrence are still on good terms

They talked things over after Lawrence escaped the trap, and ended up at "Even though we still care for each other we don't love each other and thats alright because we can just carry things on platonically"

he still sees Diana as often as possible, and Diana loves Adam

"Heres my mom and my dad and my dads boyfriend!"

Adam LOVES showing up to her school events (sports, talent shows, etc) with Alison and Lawrence and bringing his super fancy cameras so he can take action shots of her because she thinks its SO COOL

Her and Adam make Lawrence take them to laser tag and amusement parks n shit

Lawrence loves that they get along, and it means so much to him that Adam gets involved so much in Dianas life

He feels bad sometimes though, because he worries Diana blames them both (Adam and Lawrence) for the divorce, no matter how healthy it was

Adam calls Lawrence dude and bro, with the occasional babe

Lawrence calls Adam dear and love

Adam always wears his heart on his sleeve around Lawrence, and although sometimes he struggles with it, Lawrence tries to do the same

Lawrences odd work hours actually work better in the couples favor, because of Adams insomnia and other sleep issues, he also keeps extremely irregular hours

Despite that, sometimes there are still days on end where they just go without seeing each other, whether it be because Lawrence was out while Adam was awake or Adam was awake in between Lawrences shift

In the meantime, they leave little post it notes for each other

yellow is Lawrences color and blue is Adams color (blue and yellow by the used... starts tearing out clumps of my hair. thats a them song.)

Adam will wait up on the couch for Lawrence to get home but sometimes he just... passes out there... so Lawrence carries him to their bed

They share a wardrobe for the most part. They do have different tastes when it comes to style but theres still some overlap in some areas

Lawrence doesn't actually have a drivers license, and he hates driving

Adam knows how to drive but doesn't have his license and thinks its too much of a hassle to get one so him and Lawrence just transit together

back to the botanical idea... Adam loves buying Lawrence flowers. But not bouquets, Lawrence hates Bouquets because they die so fast, so Adam buys him little potted flowers for him

Lawrence has an entire shelf in his green room just for the things Adam brings him

Thats all I have for now but... maybe part two if I think of anything more :3

#saw 2004 #adam faulkner stanheight #chainshipping #adam stanheight #saw franchise #lawrence gordon #headcanon #saw #dr gordon #adam x lawrence

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bestworstcase · 12 days

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seen a few posts on the subject lately that have me pondering the fandom theory that cinder will eventually, to some degree, lose control over the grimm arm. which mainly gets put forward as either:

it overtakes her completely, a la hound

salem uses it to kill her after she opens the choice vault and/or she defies salem and the arm attacks her

the arm acts of its on accord to do something cinder has chosen not to (e.g., attack a maiden)

with the arm in every variant becoming a straightforward reiteration of the shock collar from which cinder must be saved, or at best save herself (🔥). i think the difficulty in this reading is twofold.

first that removal of the grimm is thorny because it’s cinder’s arm, a part of her body, and so much of her character after beacon turns on the trauma of the violent dismemberment she suffered; i don’t think you can do ‘saving cinder from the grimm arm’ with any seriousness unless you engage with it as the act of a trapped animal gnawing off its own limb, so it has to be cinder cleaving herself from the arm in order to free herself from salem. any scenario wherein cinder is dismembered by someone else to save her does a disservice to the character and a scenario where cinder destroys a part of herself for another person’s sake reifies the view rhodes imposed on her that the only way for cinder to ‘be good’ is to allow others to hurt her.

and that’s… i think, the whole point of the grimm arm on a thematic level. this:

is the grimm arm, is what the grimm arm symbolizes. cinder strangles her owner while the madame frantically mashes the collar’s button to electrocute her; insofar as the grimm arm reiterates the shock collar, it’s the collar that can’t control her, but more importantly it represents is cinder being refigured in this moment as a monster.

which ties into:

the distress cinder feels watching tyrian maul this beowolf toward the end of v4; her particular focus on its arm comes from her self-identification with grimm, because the grimm are not and have never been the monsters in her story. as a child her predominant experience with the grimm was of being electrocuted and made to denigrate herself in punishment for failing to adequately clean crystalline statues of the monsters kept at bay by the bars of her gilded cage. she was ten at the oldest when she began to fantasize about killing her owner. so what did she see when she looked upon these statues?

there’s a reason salem fills the role of magical benefactor in the cinderella narrative, and it isn’t as simple as trading one evil stepmother for another; the grimm are the golden shoes, or the glass slippers if you prefer, which empower cinder to pursue her freedom. (i think it’s likelier than not that the arm was cinder’s idea, for this reason.)

so the narrative question underpinning the grimm arm is whether rhodes was correct in his condemnation; the arm is only a physical manifestation of the judgment laid against her that night and her transformation in his eyes from innocent child to monster.

that becomes untenable if the arm is parsed as merely an iteration of the collar and the mechanism of control which chains cinder to salem against her will. cinder has very clearly-articulated ideological reasons for being where she is, and her interest in the maidens is only a proxy for the power struggle she’s having with salem; she is bound to salem by her own conviction that the huntsmen uphold an unjust and unmerciful order.

separately from that there is also the question of motivation, and to a lesser extent the actual material nature of salem’s connection to, and hypothetical ability to take over, the arm. in order for cinder to lose control over her arm we must accept the presupposition that the grimm arm obeys cinder at all only because salem allows it, and therefore that salem may revoke cinder’s illusory control at any time she chooses. however:

one, i’m not sure that interpretation aligns with the struggle we see and what salem says in v4. “can you feel it? it can sense your trepidation. don’t fight it, girl. you must make it dread you.” <- implies a more complex relationship between cinder and the grimm than a simple matter of salem attaching it to her and ‘programming’ the grimm to obey; i could write a whole post picking apart this one line, but in the interest of brevity:

the grimm is responsive to how cinder feels about it, and her trepidation—her fear—is inhibiting the process.

cinder is in pain and visibly distressed, so salem’s question, can you feel it?, is not about the physical sensations; salem knows the grimm is sensing cinder’s trepidation, and cinder needs to be able to reach through the pain and grasp that too. it’s “can you feel what the grimm is feeling?”

her trepidation has become an obstacle because it’s driving cinder to fight an emotional or spiritual connection to the grimm, one that needs to open both ways.

“make it dread you” is an interesting choice of words, especially in conjunction with “don’t fight it,” because when the statements are paired they seem contradictory; how does one make something afraid by surrendering to it? but. dread can also mean reverence. and i think that might be the sense salem has in mind, because if it is necessary for cinder to open herself to an emotional or spiritual bond with this grimm, then salem is talking about synthesis and combination, and inciting ‘dread’ in the sense of regarding with great reverence, is a natural converse of ‘fighting’

if that’s so, ‘not fighting it’ isn’t an act of surrender but rather invitation; you must let it in so that it may know you as something greater than itself. you must transcend your fear and give it reason to revere you.

the “easy” answer, like always, is to presume that salem is making it difficult for cinder on purpose and weaving an elaborate lie to blame her for struggling, and like always the problem with that is it renders the text meaningless: the only way to ‘analyze’ salem under this lens is to disregard everything she says and make assumptions based on things other characters have said about her, which must be unquestioningly taken as fact. but the narrative keeps telling us, in increasingly unsubtle ways, not to do that.

so we cannot dismiss anything salem says as a complete falsehood without interrogating that possibility. if she is lying to cinder here, why? what purpose does it serve to give cinder false advice? if salem is deliberately withholding control over the arm from cinder, to what end is she hiding that? when she sends cinder off to haven in v5, her parting advice is “take care to protect [yourself and your gifts]; there is only so much i can do to aid you.” she does not seem to want cinder to feel dependent on her; how likely is it, really, that this is all a long and convoluted gambit to trick cinder into believing she’s free when in reality salem could turn her into a literal puppet at any time? if salem wants an obedient slave, and has the means to enforce her will through magical compulsion, why bother with the charade?

it is much simpler to interpret this as truthful instruction, which cinder likely doesn’t fully understand because salem does not explain it very well, setting up the continued struggle throughout the rest of v4 (because cinder doesn’t understand) and salem’s growing frustration (because this all seems quite straightforward to her).

and if it is truthful advice, then… control over the grimm arm isn’t something salem gave to cinder, but rather something she taught cinder how to achieve; thus, it’s unlikely to be something salem can just take away.

which, two, casts the incidents when cinder doesn’t have complete control over the arm into an interesting light. the first time occurs after winter cuts it off, and i think this one is somewhat ambiguous as to whether the arm grew back by itself or regrew in response to the shock, pain, and panic cinder felt when it was severed. if we take salem’s instruction in v4 to be truthful, the grimm arm is in tune with and responds to cinder’s emotions, and by v7 she has undoubtedly bonded with it, embraced it as her arm. it doesn’t seem like a leap to speculate that the arm grew back because cinder wanted it to.

the other two incidents, of course, are salem torturing her through the arm in 8.6 and cinder feeling salem reconstitute through the arm in 8.14; only one of these is clearly a deliberate action on salem’s part.

does cinder’s arm go haywire in 8.14 because salem is giving her a warning? i’m a little skeptical that cinder would react the way she does if that were the case, and far more skeptical that salem—as risk-averse as she is—would risk losing both relics and getting her fall maiden killed by tasering her mid-battle.

further:

salem knows cinder is alive after haven, despite everyone else presuming cinder dead, and refuses to explain how.

growing the arm back is extremely painful.

salem has a phenomenal tolerance for pain, to the point that even having her bones smashed into paste doesn’t faze her.

salem undeniably has some kind of connection to cinder’s arm; unless she managed to sneak her seer past dozens of huntsmen on high alert after killing lionheart, that connection is the only possible way she could have known that cinder survived.

when salem reconstitutes, she doesn’t appear to be in pain—but we know that grimm can and do feel pain (not just cinder’s arm, but there are many, many examples of ordinary grimm reacting to injury with obvious pain), and we know that nothing short of being set on fire can make salem flinch. so her stone-faced reconstitutions may or may not be painful; cinder’s agonized screaming while her arm regrows suggest that it is painful for salem too, and salem is just used to it.

if salem could feel that cinder was alive through the grimm arm—and if sensation can flow from salem to cinder through that connection, which it can—then it’s well within the realm of possibility that the link goes both ways such that cinder is aware of salem through it just as salem is aware of her.

which is to say, in 8.14 i think cinder may have experienced spillover of the pain salem felt when her body pulled itself back together.

and that leaves The Torture, the one clear-cut case of salem abusing whatever power she does have over the grimm arm to hurt cinder. as it pertains to the question of whether salem can revoke cinder’s control over the arm, there are two details worth noting:

one, it’s not clear whether the pain salem inflicts is accompanied by a loss of control; the arm thrashes and cinder grabs it by the wrist with her other hand to hold it down, but the writhing might be an involuntary reflex (pain!) and grabbing the arm an instinctive attempt to quell the pain. cinder’s arms spasm in similar ways during the flashbacks when she’s electrocuted. if salem does try to seize control over the arm, however, it doesn’t look like she succeeds: cinder presses the arm down and makes a fist, after which point there is no more thrashing.

so either the arm remains completely under cinder’s control and its writhing movements are an involuntary pain response, or salem tries to take control and fails. the former seems more in line with the—very delicate—balance salem has to achieve in this scene between punishment and capitulation.

and two, when the pain starts, cinder flashes back to the helplessness she felt as a child, but by the end, emotionally, she is here:

so i think it’s a little ambiguous as to whether it was salem or cinder who made the pain stop. after all, salem’s tactic here comes down to rewarding cinder for being defiant so that cinder will stay—she’s begun to figure out that cinder is more interested in winning the power struggle than in the maidens per se—which means she now has a vested interest in making cinder less afraid.

torture may seem like a counterintuitive way to accomplish that, but it isn’t a warning or a threat, it’s a battle she knows cinder can win. cinder expects to be brutally punished; she’s horrified when she realizes emerald brought her back to salem. but then… the pain salem inflicts on her is no worse than what she’s survived before. she’s able to bear up under it and overcome it, make it end, just like she did when she killed the madame.

that’s the worst salem can do to her?

and then salem goes into “it’s all my fault. you’ve fought your whole life unwaveringly for what you want, and here i am holding you back, instead of lifting you up.” the point of this is not to get cinder under her thumb, but rather to make it appealing for cinder to stay by demonstrating that the consequences for losing a battle with salem are not too severe and that salem can and will concede should cinder outmatch her, and that outmatching salem is possible.

if this is what salem intends to do, then the most important question with regard to the possibility of cinder being overtaken by the grimm and enslaved is how much salem might have held back so as to let cinder ‘win.’ but i think this tactical approach in and of itself is a concession that cinder cannot be controlled, because salem is more or less openly inviting greater defiance: relinquishing control for the sake of giving cinder an incentive to stick around. it’s, “you deserve more than i’ve given you and you can get it from me if you fight for it.” so again, either salem values cinder’s free will above obedience, or she can’t take control over cinder’s grimm parts.

you don’t try to carefully thread the needle of permitting and rewarding open defiance when a subordinate threatens to defect unless you have no other choice, or else really, really care about that subordinate having free will!

(which does also have some interesting implications for the hound; the narrative frames him predominately through the heroic perspective and in scenes with salem he seems to be under her complete control, so he is—apparently—an enslaved, tormented victim of brutal experimentation. but we also know nothing about him or the circumstances that led to this experiment, and there is a sixth seat at salem’s table unaccounted for. no other character in this story is what exactly what they appear to be at first glance; is he?)

the point being that i have serious doubts as to whether salem even can turn the arm against cinder in the way that the fandom generally seems to expect, to varying degrees. hurt her with it, certainly. but reach through that connection and puppet the arm against cinder’s will? it isn’t like the seers—those act like extensions of salem herself, with limited autonomy outside of her direct command. cinder’s arm is part of her, and salem’s part in cinder mastering it seems to have been limited to telling cinder how to form her own bond with it.

there is also the question of why: to what end? if salem embedded some sort of hound-mode failsafe into the arm against the possibility of cinder defying her, why did she not trigger it when cinder disobeyed direct orders in v8? if the purpose of the grimm arm in salem’s plan is to enforce cinder’s hunt for the maidens—prevent her from showing mercy or turning away from them—then why did it behave when cinder attacked winter instead of fria? if salem wants cinder to be more ruthless, more violent, why does she keep trying to divert cinder toward less destructive means?

the one suggested inciting moment that hasn’t already happened in some capacity is opening the choice vault, and by that point either the sword will be in play or salem will still need the summer maiden to open shade’s vault. she has never been particular about how the vaults get opened before; if the crown can compel obedience a la the golden cap, that is the obvious method by which to force the destruction vault open, either by compelling the summer maiden to open it or compelling her to deliver herself to cinder. and if cinder is still willing to play ball—why would salem choose then to enslave her, after handling cinder’s disobedience in atlas the way she did? to what end?

the only thing salem needs the maidens for is to open the vaults. she has plenty of her own magic to be getting on with, an inexhaustible supply of grimm, and two-going-on-three relics at her disposal.

when cinder defies her, she capitulates. when hazel defies her, she drops all of her hostages and pretends to fight him instead of like, doing this to him—

—and we know this woman is a capable fighter: she matches ozma blow-for-blow during their duel, and that was before he gave up his magic. so she, to put it gently, doesn’t seem all that keen on retribution when one of her own turns against her, and she’s already demonstrated some willingness to just Let Cinder Leave, even against direct orders, with minimal punishment when cinder returned.

so i think a reversal is difficult to justify in terms of motivation, because salem is demonstrably willing to concede and seek compromise if cinder refuses to be controlled, and it’s working—not in the sense that cinder is loyal or obedient again, but she’s invested enough to stay and play the game, which is all that matters to salem. i’m not sure why that would change before the choice vault gets opened, and it’s hard to see how even the worst-case-scenario crown (i.e., outright mind control) would change the calculus that much given that salem could only get to it with cinder’s cooperation.

if i’m right that the 8.14 “she’s back!” moment was not a deliberate warning from salem but rather cinder feeling the pain salem felt upon reconstituting, i think it’s a lot more likely that we’ll see cinder take a stab at turning the connection against salem: if the awareness through the link goes both ways, and salem can use the link to hurt cinder, it stands to reason that cinder may also be able to use it to hurt salem. at the very least i think it would cross cinder’s mind to try.

because, as i said, if the grimm arm is a repetition of the collar, it’s the collar that couldn’t stop her from wrapping her fingers around the madame’s throat.

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