#𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐈𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𖦹゛ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vmpiires · 3 months

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❛ INFINITY — 無限大

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ you and choso go on a “date” and choso opens up about his family

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (non-curse), mid 90s AU, nsfw, female anatomy, stoner!choso, mentions of going broke, possible sexual content, canon/modern lore mixes, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ i almost forgot about this story BUT IM HERE. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3 — dark mode recommended. WC — 2.35K — part four

@sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3 @exinqiu

“you wanna…hang out? like, right now?” you heard choso say hesitantly over the phone. it was around ten at night and you weren’t busy. you didn’t have anything better to do. plus, you wanted to go out a bit more since you were a bit of a homebody.

“yeah, why not?” you beamed over the phone. “it’ll be fun and i don’t have nothing else to do. plus, we need to hang out more before it gets too cold…winter is around the corner.”

“oh..um, yeah sure. you’re right.” choso answered. though, he was in the clear for the evening since yuji would be spending the night with his friends for a sleepover, the male was still skeptical about somethings.

what if there’s an emergency? what if something happened to his little brother? anything could’ve happened while he was away, not supervising.

you grin excitedly, starting to list multiple places you could go. it took some quick process of elimination just to choose the park. it was simple and it seemed like choso really wanted to go for some reason, so you agreed.

once you got off the phone, you navigate to your messages app and send him a text, ‘oh i forgot to say that if you wanna bring food or something you can.’

now you had to play the waiting game. it was always you waiting longer than five minutes or less than a minute for choso to text back.

well this time you didn’t have to wait. your phone makes a sound shortly after you sent that message. you take a glance down to see that choso loved your message.

‘helping my brother pack. i might be a little late.’

you smiled at the text and urged him to take his time. you thought it was sweet how heavily choso cared for yuji. nothing never went unnoticed around him. he was like a big brother and a mother in one.

you began to put on your clothes and grab whatever you needed before you would finally leave out of the house and make your way towards the park.

the night sky was so clear and perfect. you could see all the stars just from where you were standing. that’s when you started to wonder if choso liked stargazing. how would he feel about that?

you were quickly reminded that choso may not have time for stuff like that since he seemed like a busy man. you could also tell he was the type that wasn’t very exposed to current day activities trending amongst other people.

it’s like he’s trapped in his own bubble.

“hold your hand out,” choso said before lifting yuji’s hand to clip his nails. “now, i’ll be going out somewhere tonight, so i won’t be at home while you’re with your friends…but if you need me, please call me, okay?”

“i know, big brother,” yuji smiled up at his elder brother. choso’s cheeks turned a rosy color before smiling back. “but where are you going? you never leave the house this late unless you picked up work.”

“you’re right but tonight is different…i’m gonna meet our brothers, spend some time outside the house…i shouldn’t be rotting in here all the time anyway.”

choso put the boy down once he finished clipping yuji’s nails and ruffled his hair. he would fold some clothes and place them down into the bag neatly.

“don’t let anybody touch your stuff and break it, okay? you’re allowed to share but make sure they’re being careful. you know money is hard around here and i can barely afford some of this stuff for you.” choso mumbled. his soft expression seemed to turn into a slight frown.

yuji nodded but he couldn’t help but notice his brother’s expression. “are you mad, big brother?”

the dark haired male blinked quickly and shook his head. “no, no. i’m not mad…life is just really hard and i need to probably find a second job.”

working as a bartender is okay for him, he didn’t mind it. but when it came to needing more money to upkeep the house and to satisfy both their wants and needs, he would need a second job.

“then we won’t be able to hang out together,” yuji frowned. it was already hard for choso to make time for his little brother but now it would be even harder.

“i know, itadori…i know. but i’ll make it up to you as best as i can. i promise i’ll never forget about it, okay?” choso held his pinky finger out to yuji. “you trust me?”

“i trust you,” yuji grinned.

“good.” choso smiled as he retracted his hand away from the boy. “now hurry and go grab your coat and your shoes. let’s go, we don’t wanna be late.”

yuji nodded and grabbed his coat from the closet by the front door and put on his favorite red boots before hurrying out of the door, waiting for choso to follow behind him.

after choso drove yuji to the other side of town, choso would make a stop at the corner store and bought another pack of cigarettes and some snacks that you both would like.

it took a little bit of time to make up his mind because he was a bit picky about what he ate but he’d eventually figure it out before heading to the park, finally meeting up with you.

“hey,” choso called her name breathlessly as he jogged over to the spot where you were sitting at. the park was empty, perfect for just the two of you to relax and talk and do whatever came to mind. “i’m so sorry i took so long. i drove thirty minutes from my place, to the other side of town for yuji then back, i’m sorry.”

you noticed his apologetic tone and you nod your head no, smiling at him. “don’t worry about it. like i told you, you didn’t have to rush to get here. i wasn’t going anywhere.”

the two of you finally get comfortable on the grass, eating the snacks you both brought and the drinks. choso noticed you opening a can of beer from the six pack brought with you. the male lifted an eyebrow.

“i thought you didn’t drink..” he said softly. you nod, taking a sip of your beer before sucking your teeth.

“i don’t but it’s nice for the occasion, you know?” you reach down and hand one to choso, offering it to him. the male was about to say no but he considered your next words.

“come on, just one can won’t hurt you. you gotta loosen up a little bit. you’re a busy guy that barely gives himself a break. tonight’s your night, cho.”

the male would light a cigarette and put it between his lips before humming. you were definitely right. choso never gave himself a break. he was always moving. hesitantly, he’d take the can from you and open it, listening to the sound as it hissed open.

you giggled when you saw choso’s face contort to an expression of disgust the second he took a sip of the beer.

“you like this?” he asked.

“i don’t like it either but after a while it’ll taste better.” you reassured. there’s a silence between the two of you as you both sat there, taking in your environment.

trees blowing gently in the quiet wind of the night. lampposts casting dim lights and weak shadows, and the occasional chirping of crickets hiding in the soil somewhere.

choso wasn’t a man of many words so the silence was tolerable but then a thought came to your head. while choso smoked his cigarette and you ate your snacks, you turned to him.

“why’d you wanna come to the park so bad?” you asked.

“it’s from a recurring dream i have. every time i have that dream, i see my brothers here. i just wanted to….i don’t even know. i just wanted to know that this place wasn’t just a figment of my imagination, i guess.”

“do you know what happens in the dream?”

“it all goes by so fast…it’s not that i don’t remember what happens, i just hate talking about it sometimes. i’m sorry.”

“it’s fine, you don’t have to apologize,” you scooted a bit closer to him. “hey, let’s talk about something else. to lighten the mood, y’know?”

“oh..yeah, good idea.” choso nodded slowly, taking a drag from his cigarette. you had an idea already on what to talk about and you were obviously eager. anyone could just tell by the look on your face.

“have you ever stargazed before?” you began.

“uh…no. i mean- i look at stars but…i don’t do it like that. it’s- i don’t know.” he trails off, looking embarrassed and shy when he realized that he’s stumbled over his words a bunch.

“here, lay down.” you would lie down and choso just looked at you as if what you were doing was the oddest thing on earth. you waved your hand, gesturing him to do the same.

finally, choso would lay down, his eyes lighting up at the blanket of stars covering the sky. the stars were beautiful and bright that night. he could see some of them lining up, creating shapes—constellations.

“i love stars. they’re just so pretty.” you comment, “they look so close but they’re just so far…too bad some of them are dead.”

“these stars have been dead for a long time, they’re just now reflecting back to us.” choso chimed in lowly. you sighed.

“don’t you wish you could just be a star in the sky? not having to worry about anything or anyone in the universe, just yourself?”

“i’m not sure if i wanna turn into a star just yet,” choso said. “it sounds like death to me…but if i could run away and live somewhere secluded from society, i’d do it. me and yuji.”

“do you think anybody would miss you?” you frown a little, your expression a bit serious. choso shrugged.

“i have no friends...and if i did, they all died or they’re just people i don’t speak to anymore. i’m that lonely.” he sighed. “i don’t need other people anyway. it doesn’t bother me.”

choso looked at you and automatically felt embarrassed again. he ran his fingers through his medium length hair and shook his head.

“sorry. i overshare a lot.”

“you apologize a lot…it’s not really anything wrong with it, i just noticed that.” you say. “is that just…how you are? if you don’t mind me asking..”

“it’s just how i am, so—never mind. my dad was just so hard on me, i was always apologizing for something and he just kinda turned me into a sorry mess.”

the sudden mention of his father made him frown and he sighed. “i’m glad i don’t live with him…but i would probably stay there just for some money. he’s the typical salaryman with a son that’s broke…or at least, almost broke.”

“does the job you work at not pay enough?” you shifted your body so you were facing choso instead of the sky.

“it helps me get me and my brother some food that would last us a while and probably a shirt. not any of that luxury stuff. the only time i get that kind of stuff is when it’s given to me.”

“okay, that, i think is an exaggeration…every time i see you two, you’re dressed nicely and when we facetime, your house looks nice and clean,” you say. your hand slowly moved towards his but you hesitate to keep going.

“yeah, i guess it is. my job pays pretty well…i guess i’m just paranoid about it not being enough.” choso took a drag of his cigarette. when he felt your hand on his, he’d look down at it then back at you. instead of leaving your hand where it was, he’d take your hand into his.

the two of you were feeling a buzz from the beers you were drinking and the world seemed to be moving in slow motion. choso saw the soft smile on your face as you looked into his soft, tired eyes. you saw how his dark hair covered a lot of his face as he laid on the ground beside you.

“you know, i think you’re a really nice guy,” you blurt out. you weren’t even aware of what you were saying yourself. “i really like you.”

“i….” choso’s breath hitched, “uh…i like you too. i’ve liked you for a long time—since we met.” the male could feel his ears getting hot and the tip of his nose was a pinkish color from the cold, mixed with his blushing.

there was a tingly feeling on his face as his cheeks began to warm with excitement and embarrassment. the cut underneath his bandage was starting to bleed again.

“take this off,” you whispered, slowly removing the bloody bandage, revealing the red cut across his nose that’s usually black. you would take a napkin from your bag and once again, clean the blood from his face.

choso was obviously embarrassed. this was the second time you saw his cut but he didn’t really like others seeing it. the male used his hoodie to cover his nose.

“uh…thank you..for uh—for cleaning it.” he mumbled. you smiled at him and pulled the collar of his hoodie down from over his face before kissing him. your lips locked with each others and you both seemed to be in a deep state of excitement and euphoria.

choso never kissed a girl before. he wasn’t sure what was happening or what he was supposed to do but he tried his best to follow your lead anyway.

when you pulled away, you could see the surprise on choso’s face. his face was flushed from being so inebriated just as you were.

you both fell silent. the only noise that existed was your own breathing and the nature around you. choso was sure he wouldn’t remember much of this tomorrow and neither would you…but deep down, he found it hard to believe.

lowkey this took so long to write,, i’m tired 😭 i’m glad you guys like this. i made something happen so…now its time to get ready to wrap it up. also sorry if there’s any mistakes lol

#𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐈𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𖦹゛#jujutsu kaisen #anime #jjk #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk x reader #jjk choso #choso x black!reader #choso x reader

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vmpiires · 3 months

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apparently yall want street racer choso too….VOTING TIME :D

update: street racer choso coming soon

#jujutsu kaisen #𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐈𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𖦹゛#anime #jjk #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk x reader #jjk choso #choso x reader #choso x black!reader

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vmpiires · 3 months

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❛ INFINITY — 無限大

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso’s recurring dream starts to bother him and makes him depressed. wc, 2.17K. dark mode recommended

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (non-curse), mid 90s AU, nsfw, female anatomy, stoner!choso, mentions of suicide, possible sexual content, canon/modern lore mixes, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ GOOD stuff will happen in the next part i promise. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (lmk if you wanna be tagged in the next part)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3

same tree, same bright sun, pure silence.

choso was under by a large tree in the park. a familiar area he’s seen more than he could count on both his hands and feet. he wore a white robe and a pair of brown boots. to him, it was an odd combination of clothing but he could get used to it.

for the first time in a while, his hair was pinned up in his two spiky buns, leaving his little bangs to hang above his head. choso’s eyes scanned around the empty field that was accompanied by a single picnic table. his slim eyebrows drawing together at the simple sound of grass being stepped on.

“brother,” he heard a voice call and then there was another voice. they sounded excited about his presence. his cheeks flushed a pink color as salty tears formed in his eyes, threatening to fall once he seen his two younger brothers before him.

the male’s hands trembled as he watched the two hold their arms out to him, waiting for him to join them. he always refused this offer, shaking his head quickly while tears poured down his cheeks. there was a reason why he refused.

“i miss you both, more than anything.” choso finally gave in. his arms were wrapped tightly around the males in front of him while he cried and finally flashed a genuine smile. but there was nothing. choso was lying in the grass, crying and laughing, not even realizing what had happened.

until he opened his eyes.

he felt something lightly poking his side while he eyes stared into nothingness with disdain. his small purple irises would peer behind him, meeting his little brother, yuji’s brown eyes.

“choso, i’m hungry,” he whispered as if he were trying not to wake the male up. as bad as choso wanted to shout, he swallowed and sat up.

“okay, just…gimme a minute, okay?” choso rubbed his eyes and slowly got out of bed. his hair was disheveled and he looked like he hadn’t slept. usually, he’d take his time and go do his hygiene but the most he could do was shower and brush his teeth.

after that, the male would grab a cigarette and light it as he grabbed a bowl from the cabinet to make pancakes. he took a glance at yuji, lifting the cigarette.

“don’t smoke. it’s not good for you.” he advised before taking a drag from it. yuji decided not to ask anymore questions. he would nod and sit with his brother in the kitchen as his breakfast was being made.

“you look tired,” yuji started, “are you okay, did you sleep?”

“yeah, i slept.” choso rasped before clearing his throat. “it’s normal to—feel tired after you just wake up. i’m going back to sleep after you eat.”

once the pancakes were finished, he’d place the plate in front of yuji and then a cup of chocolate milk shortly after.

“make sure you eat all of it. if you don’t want it put it in the microwave….or give it to me, i don’t care. just don’t waste it.” choso said. yuji nodded quickly, thanking choso as he seen the dark haired male traveling to the couch and putting his cigarette in the ashtray before turning over to sleep.

“big brother,” choso heard a familiar voice whisper. it had been about ten minutes into his catnap until he was interrupted by the voice. he shot up from the cushions of the couch, where his face was buried, sweating and panting until he noticed yuji.

“oh….”

“choso, are you okay? i was about to ask if i could go see megumi today. i’ll climb the fence to get there so i don’t have to go through the front door.”

“i…” all the male could do was stare at yuji in a daze. he was staring as if his little brother was talking gibberish. “uh…yeah, go ahead, just don’t hurt yourself.”

yuji smiled and hugged choso before running upstairs, seemingly to go change into some new clothes and pack some things to take with him next door. choso just let out a loud sigh.

hours went by quicker than expected. the neighbors next door letting choso know that yuji would be staying for a few days, only if it was okay with him. choso was still in a bit of a daze and he was starting to feel sick after drinking beers and smoking cigarettes instead of eating.

as he laid still, curled up on the bed, blood was starting to seep from the bandage over his nose, staining his pillow and part of his blanket. the male was too drunk to care though.

upon hearing his phone ringing, he slowly reached for it and answered, not bothering to check who was calling. pushing the device against his ear, he spoke.

“what?” he slurred.

your heart skipped a beat when you heard the male’s deep voice reverberate over the phone and back to you. a smile appears on your face, followed by a light blush.

“hey, you good?” you ask as you place your phone down on the vanity and reach for some nail polish and beginning to paint your fingernails.

“i’m-” choso hiccuped, “i’m really dizzy. and i got blood everywhere and i keep hearing stuff…”

you paused, furrowing your eyebrows, “um…do i need to come over? you don’t sound okay.” there was a silence over the phone before a long sigh was heard.

“no. don’t come over. i don’t like other people in my house. i’m so scared of people.” he groaned, his words still slurring. you shake your head, obviously concerned about his situation.

“no, i’m coming over, send your address.” you insist. “you sound sick and tired. i’ll bring you something to eat too. did you eat?”

“i…” he went quiet. “no…”

“oh my goodness,” you mumbled. you would stand up from your vanity and begin to get dressed, putting the nail polish in your pocket since you decided that you’d finish your nails at his place.

“i’m sorry…” he continued softly, his voice sounding a bit weaker than before. “are you still coming? i’ll send you my address like you asked.”

“yes, choso, i’m still coming. just relax…and go wipe your face if you can.” you say, pulling a coat over your shoulder and grabbing your house keys.

“okay…” you heard choso groan before hanging up.

you sighed, putting your phone in your pocket as you were exposed to the cold weather outside. snowflakes were falling and ice was starting to cover the ground. you head to your car and drive to a nearby fast food restaurant, getting choso and yourself something to eat.

your phone vibrates and you check to see what it is as you sit in the parking lot of the restaurant, eating a bit of your own food as you did. it’s from choso. ‘here’s my address..’

you put the address into your navigation and start to drive in the direction to where choso lived, sighing at the weather conditions periodically.

the door opens slowly when you arrive to choso’s place. he peeks out, eyeing you drunkenly before pulling the door open a bit more. you can see the blood streaming down his face while his eyes drooped downward and the black rings around his eyes darkened.

“you look a mess,” you sigh, pushing yourself through the door because you still didn’t have that much space to get through. you place the food down onto the kotatsu table in the living room and take choso by the hand to take him to the bathroom.

you clean the dry blood and the new blood from his face and trashed the bandage that he always had over his nose.

“you need to give it some air. that’s probably why it bleeds so much.” you say. “come on, let’s go eat.”

when you both made it back to the living room, you would sit down at the table and give choso his food, to which he stared at for a short moment before snapping out of it.

“thank you,” he whispered before silently eating his food. while he’s eating, you notice that he was dozing off and you were about to wake him but his head shot up. you gave a concerned look.

“are you sure you’re okay?” you ask.

“i’m fine,” he yawned before getting up to grab another beer. “you know that dream-” choso pauses to hiccup. “that dream i was talking about? it’s bothering me.”

he lights another cigarette and sits down with you again. “so, i decided to drown myself in alcohol and cigarettes until i die….i wanna see my brothers so bad.”

you quickly take the can of beer from him just after he takes a sip and held it close to you. choso just made a face as if he weren’t very fazed by your action.

“i expected that…”

“talk to me,” you query, “what about the dream that’s bothering you, is it that it’s repeating over and over again?”

“it repeats so much in my head that it drives me insane.” choso replies. “earlier i almost screamed at yuji because i was thinking too much and it made me nervous and upset. it’s hard to go to sleep because i can hear my brothers calling my name.”

choso stops talking, seemingly expecting you to add your input on the situation but you’re completely stunned. hearing him basically say he wanted to kill himself was bothering you enough.

you throw your arms around choso, disregarding the smell of alcohol mixed with cigarettes on his body. choso was looking down at you with his hair covering his eyes. hesitantly, he put his arms around you.

“please don’t hurt yourself over this,” you whisper. “i know it’s tough and it bothers you so much but your brothers wouldn’t want you to end your life for them…especially while you’re drunk. they’d want you to keep going. and who would take care of yuji?”

“i trust you to take him…he really likes you.”

“i can’t replace his brother.” you softly combated, your hand now rubbing his lower back, trying your best to comfort him. “talk to me choso. how did the dream go?”

“do you want me to…sleep?” he asked. you were expecting him to just recite what he remembered but you could tell he needed some shut eye anyway. you nod and let him lay on the couch.

again. the same thing over and over. it’s so vivid choso could feel the environment. he could feel a change if there was one. the cold hands of his brothers touching his face and their wispy voices filling his ears.

it’s a beautiful day. but he hates this day. for some reason it makes him happy. maybe it’s so twisted because he’s so intoxicated.

it happens again. he’s lying in the grass, crying and smiling with nothing beneath him. not even his brothers to hold onto him like they used to.

but he felt something finally put their arms around him. it made his tears fall faster and his face was hot.

“i feel horrible,” choso mumbled. “i’ve done too many attempts to die but they don’t work. why won’t it work?”

“it’s not your turn. keep going.”

his eyes opened and he was teary eyed all over again. you hugged him again and when he hugged you back, it felt more secure and alive than before.

“did you figure anything out?”

“i can’t throw my life away. not yet.”

you smile softly and you kiss his cheek, wiping his tears away as you did.

“don’t cry, you’re okay.” you whispered to him. the way choso was holding onto you, it seemed like he didn’t wanna let go of you.

later on that night, choso finally sobered up a bit, being able to handle himself instead of you carrying him around, giving him assistance. the two of you were lying on the bed together, talking about whatever came to mind to remove the tension in the room.

topics switched consistently from movies to what would it be like to be living someone else’s life who’s got it all together.

“are we like…a thing now?” choso asked you, his head turning slightly into your direction after blowing cigarette smoke up towards the ceiling.

you smile, “do you wanna be a thing?”

“uh…i don’t know, i never had a girlfriend…or talked to a girl before besides my teachers back in high school.” he said quietly. you giggled.

“look, let’s try it out and see how it goes. if it doesn’t go well, we can always be friends, okay?” you said in a suggesting tone. choso looked nervous.

“what if you don’t like it right away, what if it goes bad?”

you kissed him on his lips, quickly taking his breath away. his cheeks were hot and flushed. when you moved away from him, he looked like he had just seen stars.

“can you do that again?”

ending notes. OKAY SO ….apparently the desire disease did pretty good for its first part so i’ll write another part and see how that goes. if ya wanna be tagged for that, lmk. i’ll have another part for this up soon. uhhh sorry for any mistakes if i made any. bye byeee and remember;; reblogs and comments are appreciated

tags. 🏷️ 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ @sad-darksoul @aiyaaayei @a1-ic3 @exinqiu @sex4vivienne

#jujutsu kaisen #𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐈𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𖦹゛#anime #jjk #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk x reader #jjk choso #choso x black!reader #choso x reader

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vmpiires · 4 months

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❛ THE DESIRE DISEASE — 欲望

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso finally has a feeling of want, need, and deep desire..

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (still a cursed spirit), modern AU, nsfw, female anatomy, mentions of abuse, smoking, possible sexual content, mentions of murder/suicide, canon/modern lore mixes, obsession, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ new layoutttt :) but this story MIGHT be a series. if ya like it i’ll keep going. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (if i decide that this should be a series, pls lmk if you wanna be tagged) (and don’t steal this plot or i’ll find you.)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3 — dark mode recommended. WC — 2.23K

humans have a complex mind. they can never make up their minds about anything. their wants and needs consistently change periodically and they go with whatever suits them. they may need food, a drink, new clothes or shoes just to be stylish for the occasion.

they also crave attention, drugs, money, and sex. this is what we would call the desire disease. a compelling disease that plunges you into the dark depths of life, pushing you to do the unimaginable but most important thing in your personal perspective at that moment. your impulses. those odd and horrible thoughts that cross your mind in the middle of the night, suddenly being acted on in broad daylight.

such disease develops in all living beings fairly quickly. they see what they want, they have fantasies of having such thing, they act, and receive. if one does not receive their desire, they will push extremities to have what they desire. there are four stages of this disease.

exposure, isolation, consumption, obsession.

one can jump immediately from stage one to stage four in the matter of months…days…hours…minutes….seconds.

giving in to your desires leads to infection. turning away from your desires means you have been cured. no one is ever cured, unfortunately.

choso never had a want for anything. as long as he was treated well, he didn’t mind the horrors of being so-called human and being accustomed to their ways of life. the boy could never hate anyone, for he feared being hated by everyone.

there was only one person that he had a deep hatred for. the one responsible for giving him such a terrible life. the one that took his mother from him, who he barely knew. no memories existed of this woman…but he loved her.

he’d make a vow to himself to kill his father when he was able to find him after he was left behind to live on his own. his father’s death was brutal…but it was hard to fight against the man that cared nothing for him and his brothers. it drove choso to insanity when he figured out that a young boy named yuji itadori was his brother…and his father tricked him into killing him. the male was lucky to realize this before yuji died.

bloody clothes, bloody shoes, and an apathetic expression. each step he took, there was an unsettling squelching noise while his father lied on the hardwood floor, dead.

but he left a message…signed in his own crimson fluid.

“i’ve made many mistakes growing into this body i was given. though, my words cannot express how grateful i am to be in a vessel like this…my words also cannot express how much hatred i feel for you. i’ve bent to your will before many times, unknowing of who you truly were…then i figured you out. you’ve ruined my life…so i took yours. you’ve made me capable of such power—that is what i am thankful for. but i will never forgive you for the hell i’ve been forced to endure because of your actions. if i should meet you again, i hope you die rougher than you had when i killed you. if i should cry, i cry for my mother. not you. i cannot form an apology or sympathy for you but i shall give you a goodbye and give you the gift of exposure. you wanted the attention, right?”

not that he ever craved the idea of murder, he seemed somewhat relaxed that day when he believed that he was free from the prison he called home once before. it would be considered odd behavior among humans and he’d be accused for the death of someone…but he knew he’d be full on guilty. he should’ve made it look like a suicide. he’s seen murders look like that in movies.

he’d travel to the bathroom, cleaning himself off and changing into some new clothes and shoes to avoid being found out. he’d remove the ponytails from his head, leaving his hair to hang down over his shoulders and reaching the trapezius of his back.

he would wipe the purple eyeshadow from eyes as he stared at the dark purple irises in the mirror, revealing how dead and tired he truly was. it was like his body could shut down at any moment.

now, choso had been wearing a black hoodie and a pair of pants. something so simple. it would last him a while until he would have to steal some clothes or wash them at a laundromat that he could just barely afford.

he sighed, planning his next move as he’d drag the corpse into the backyard and bury it deep down into the soil before walking back inside.

this was where he would remain…and he’d start a new life without the monster that concealed him from the world…from his own life.

PRESENT DAY — AUGUST 13TH

“see ya, kid.” the tattoo artist called after choso. the male silently lifted his hand before exiting the shop. he had gotten a new piercing just above his left eyebrow. the man that done this body art for him was his favorite and probably someone he could consider a friend.

choso had a few piercings now. a tongue piercing that nearly reached the tip of it, two cartilage piercings in his left ear with two regular earrings to accompany them, a side lip piercing, which was a simple silver ring and a nose piercing. he was torn between a septum and a simple diamond stud but he got the stud anyway. he didn’t wanna be too extra.

the male was influenced by what people would call “emo” style. he loves rock music and wearing rings on his fingers. even his clothing style stands out a lot. the band tees that blow lightly in the wind and large combat boots that slam against the floor each time he walked.

choso even cut his hair into a wolf cut. a style that he had been interested in for a while. his hair was fluffy and dyed black. different from his original brown hair. the male would also paint his nails black but the polish was a bit cheap so he was always painting over them.

he looked like the epitome of an emo boy.

knowing that he was a bit ashamed of existence, he would cover his blood mark with a bandage when he went out in public, which raised a lot of questions.

“ah, it’s just a scratch i got. it’s just healing.” he’d say simply.

pulling his hood over his head, he’d make his way to the liquor store, buying himself a pack of cigarettes, a few tv dinners, and a new lighter. the second he left, he’d immediately open the pack and take out a cigarette, the chain jingling from his jeans as he walked.

the male didn’t have any source of income at the moment, so finding money was crucial. even if it meant stealing it. inside, he usually felt bad but he would remind himself that he needed it more than the entitled humans that walked with their chins up and their chests out while he stood on the sidelines. silent and slumped over.

he knew stealing was morally wrong but something in his mind just told him to take what he needed and to never hesitate…but he always hesitated.

back at home, he would clean each of his piercings, playing with the one above his eyebrow and wincing a bit, followed by a couple of swears.

the house was quite peaceful now that there wasn’t anyone nagging at him or telling him that he was a waste of time. he was happy that he wasn’t being attacked all the time, having to physically fight back in order to avoid being seriously hurt.

this kind of behavior sent him into a state of emptiness rather than trauma or fear. it explains his dull expression. the bandages that covered his bloodied and bruised skin only reminded him of how bad he wanted to get away.

choso made his way to the backyard. it was a serene area with a tiny stony waterfall, which pooled into a small body of water. there was a large japanese maple tree in the middle of the yard…this was where he buried his father. but he entirely ignored that aspect.

instead of being locked away in his room, like he had been for most of his existence, he would come outside and sit near the miniature waterfall to find peace.

on his phone, scrolling through instagram is where he would find a beautiful picture of a girl taking a simple photo of her in her room. that girl was you. choso was instantly captivated by your soft smile and the shape and color of your eyes.

he was about to like the photo but he decided that he’d look on your account some more. you had an interesting style that heavily matched you. something that would stand out among others. if there was a large crowd in public, he’d probably notice you first.

bookmarking a few of your photos, he decided that he would save them for later to admire the new love of his life. there was one thing that held him back a bit…you were human. he was terrified, thinking that you wouldn’t like him.

‘you’d probably hate me..’ he thought. ‘i’m not like you.’

then again, how would you know? he looks just like everyone else. how would you be able to tell that he was a cursed spirit until he told you so or if he revealed his abilities to you? you won’t know. you’ll never know.

a faint smile appeared on his face as he would type a comment on your recent photo, simply complimenting you then quickly turning his phone off, worrying about how you’d react. the adrenaline was speeding through his veins.

his phone vibrates and he quickly drops it, now going into a panic about what the alert might’ve been. having a phone was always scary to him because it was always making noise.

slowly, he’d reach for the phone and turn it over, frowning a bit when he saw the small crack on the screen protector. that frown quickly turned into a smile when he seen the notification from you, replying to his comment and liking it. he also noticed that it was a pinned comment.

he didn’t know if he should be excited or horrified that he was noticed by you so quickly. he was tempted to text you now but again, he was scared…but he fell in love so quickly.

he spent his next few days on a burner account, watching your story and screenshotting the photos on you posted, smiling excitedly each time he would randomly check your account just to see that you posted a new picture or a video.

he swore up and down that you were simply a crush and that he’d move on fairly quickly once he loses interest. but deep down, he could never get rid of you. you were always on his mind. he wanted you. he needed you. he craved you.

this is the first stage of the desire disease—exposure.

it was an amazing coincidence when he saw you in public in the store he went to consistently for cigarettes. a blush settled across his cheeks as he noticed you with your friend buying some snacks for yourselves.

listening to your voice was like a song that he couldn’t get out of his head. it was memorable. but the second he realized that he was staring, he would blink and try to focus on what he was originally trying to do.

“you know her?” he heard yuji ask, making him jump.

“oh…no. she just looks familiar, that’s it.” he lied. the pink haired boy smirked before throwing his arm around choso. he was up to something.

“why don’t you go say something to her? i mean, that’s how you make friends,” yuji said. “maybe you’ll even get a partner out of it.”

“oh..uh, i don’t really want that. i don’t even like how it sounds.” choso mumbled. even though he was lying straight in yuji’s face about wanting a partner, he wasn’t completely lying.

“you obviously do, man. look, you fit most girls type. you’re tall, got cool hair, and you got a good personality. you can figure out the rest. and if they don’t like your style, they could definitely get used to you.”

‘i look too depressed to even be likable..’

“nope. i highly doubt it.” he replied. “i like being alone anyway. what’s the point of being with someone that’ll eventually leave you?”

“hey, good question.” yuji put his finger on his chin. “listen, it doesn’t hurt to try. unless you like window shopping.”

“do i look like the kind of guy to talk to women?”

yuji waved his hand, “you’ll get used to it. hey let’s go outside, i wanna show you something.”

this is how choso was introduced to porn. yuji would tell him how it was a way to ‘relieve himself’. the male was clearly confused and he didn’t understand the excitement of watching others perform such activities.

that same evening he spent watching in his room, just to see why yuji wanted to expose him to this footage so badly.

and that’s when he felt a tightness in his sweats.

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