i feel like the idea of “toxic” relationships has really damaged the way people write and examine characters. characters (and you as a person) can do shitty things and that doesn’t make you toxic. you (and characters) can make mistakes and still deserve to love and be loved.

people will talk about fics where characters fight a little and they’ll say there were unhealthy and toxic, but no one is perfect. the idea that you have to be completely healed to be deserving of love will only cause you bad things. characters deserve the same treatment. let them be unhealthy, let them be over attached, let them get into relationships even while they’re healing.

STOBIN AS DRIFT COMPATIBLE BESTIES FIGHTING KAIJU!!!

OKAY OKAY BUT. post canon au where the Breach opens in the early nineties instead of 2013, and eventually when the Jaeger Program is just in the fledgling stages, right at the start when they figure out the drift and sharing the load, some American government goon looks at another, and they're both thinking the same thing. They know a couple chucklefucks who are scarily in tune with each other that already have monster fighting experience. The problem is of course the chucklefuckery and also they. Hate the government.

But they figure yknow. May as well try to get the actually very good at killing monsters the military can't clowns. They need people willing to go into deathtraps and fight giant monsters, and those two have done that a few times before. They need people that can connect to each other while also fighting without dying, and figure those two are a prime example. So after a lot of government groveling and Robin and Steve slamming the door in multiple suits' faces, they eventually agree to at least...see what it's all about. Because they heard about the attack in San Francisco on K-day, about Manila and Cabo San Lucas and Syndney, and it was all bad, and as much as they dislike and distrust the government and military...they do want to help (and the pay is...good). It was probably only a matter of time before their luck in avoiding monsters ran out anyway. At least this way they had some control of how.

So Steve and Robin are in the Jaeger Academy almost as soon as it opens. It's...an adjustment. They're obviously not the regular type to join, mostly its a bunch of men who were maybe ex military or something, and they stick out. Training is a pain in the ass, they've spent the years between the upside down closing lounging and working and starting to relax, and so there's the expected heckling.

(I want them to meet Newt and Herman so bad like. they'd be around the same age as them (because we are bumping everything in PR canon back for this) and I think the combo punch of Newt and Robin being themselves would be hilarious. They're all kinda outsiders in the macho militarism of the Academy and i think the chaos would just be. unimaginable. )

But anyways. I think during the testing to see drift compatibility, Steve is called up and looks the scientist/military guy (because it's early days there aren't really "instructors" yet) and says "If you even think about putting me in one of those fucking things with anyone other than Robin, you've lost your mind and forgotten we're only here because you asked us to be together." Everyone is like ooooooh but then he squints at them and they shut up like oh damn okay sorry yeah.

And that's the end of that discussion.

There's something about being in the drift with each other that makes all that complaining and speculating and wishing to combine when they were teenagers seem half-assed. It's...not like anything either of them can describe. It feels right, like they were always meant to be that way. If they lived in each other's pockets before the Drift, they're in each other's skin now. Silent communication is expected for long-term drift partners. Residuals of the bond, dream sharing, but Robin and Steve, even among other pilots are exceptional. There's entire discussions happening in brief eye contact. They move in sync outside the Jaeger just as well as if they were still in the Drift. They've only had one RABBIT incident, and they pulled out of it fine. It's...eerie for some people to watch them, even other Pilots. (also the fact they'll casually mention shit like "well at least the air isn't toxic" or "hey. don't call this torture, that's offensive. I've been tortured!" or even "can't believe i survived evil bats for this shit." which is mildly offputting)

They end up on the Pacific northwest and into southern B.C. with a Mach 1 called... something like Midwest Deluge or something idk. They're media darlings the first Kaiju they kill two fifty kilometres off the coast of Washington. Robin is quirky, and Steve has all his midwestern boyish charm, and together they entrance people with the Drift. There's interviews and talkshows and then at some point action figures? (Dustin does not let this go. By this time he's also working in K-sci. [obviously??] but he's still annoying little brother shaped.)

Steve is usually one of the first quoted to describe the Drift, in his first interview having said "When I first met Robin --became friends with her--it felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. Now we have." Robin is also sometimes quoted with "There's probably nowhere I'd rather be, than in Steve's head."

Of course, with them being in the media, being kickass, and also being part of a program that emphasizes compatibility, there's questions on whether or not they're dating. Because while the Drift isn't romantic by nature, my god people would romanticize it. And when two hot people of opposite genders that are not related to each other in any way are piloting the Jaeger, and are just *gestures to all of stobinisms* assumptions abound.

They're in an interview after their third kill when it happens. It's a few years into their tenure as Pilots, maybe '96? (if the Breach opened in '91 and they were recruited in 93?) The host asks "So. romantically. You two have always denied that attraction, but working so close together, literally in each other's heads, isn't there a chance that has blossomed into something else? Something more?"

They roll their eyes. Steve says "there's nothing more than what Robin and I have. Romance isn't more it's just something else."

Robin goes "Plus..." Before Steve looks at her, eyebrows raised. "I think so" she says, obviously to a question Steve asked that only she heard. "What are they going to do? Fire me?" they both laugh.

He shrugs. "if you're sure..."

Robin hums. "Yes, well. I agree with everything Steve said. The Drift isn't romantic, it's connection. It's knowing. All sorts of relationships can be Drift compatible. Steve's and mine is Platonic. Capital P."

"You gonna actually say it anytime soon?"

"Shut up."

"I dunno it seems like you're stalling."

"Christ, Steve. I'm getting to it. Let me tell the world I'm a lesbian without nagging, goddamn." She turns to the interviewer. "anyways yeah I'm a lesbian so it was never going to be romantic between me and Steve. I'm just obsessed with him."

There's a pause, before they lean into each other and giggle. Steve whispers "good job" that's barely picked up by his mic.

They get a stern talking to by their Marshal but Robin was right. They can't get fired for it. They're too good and pilots are too valuable for plain ol' homophobia to get in the way. (It's seen as a cornerstone moment in queer history, a Jaeger Pilot, someone the world can do nothing but respect, came out! casually. with an already supportive loved one sitting beside her, ready to laugh with her.) And while some people act weird or distant about it, most move past it pretty quick, considering the Midwest team is well respected and there's obviously the bigger problem of underwater aliens trying to kill everyone. You either get over it and work with them or you leave or get people killed.

By the time of the events of the movie, they're old-timers. They've upgraded once to a Mach 3 after a brutal fight with a high category than expected made Midwest Deluge inoperable. They're in Hong-Kong because where else would they be? They need to end this. Just like they needed to see the Upside Down to the end. Their whole lives have been dominated by fighting for their lives and to protect their home and the world. One last push. They aren't even forty yet.

and then the breach is closed and the world is saved and they can retire with their massive pensions from being the best monster killers ever <3

hello bee :) is it alright if i call you so?

i was wondering if you maybe would write something about Rudy or Alejandro :D completely up to you, but if it's some comfort\fluff hehe yk 🥹🤭

HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER AND I UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT YOUR BOUNDARIES GIRLL 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️

have a gooood dayyyy and tyyy :3

Hey! and sure you can definitely call me bee, I’ve been having a bad day but of course. I’ll write this and sorry if I was late to replying to this request

(I was actually listening to ‘drift away omnichord’ while writing this,)

Lonely day

[TW : May speak about sensitive topics. Fluff. Comfort]

Childhood was bad, being a teenager was also terrible, and now? A fully grown adult. Terrible, and even worse than previously. Never understanding why only the kindest people were targeted by society and treated by crap despite them being sweet and kind hearted to any other person who they met, why? There was always one person that spoke. Whenever anyone goes to the garden, they’d only pick the best flowers. Right? You weren’t an exception, You were also unfortunately. Plucked out of your garden by the cruel expectations of society and your family. Day and night have you cried when you got yelled at, cried when you got hit. Crying when you got wrongfully accused, bullied even worse beat up. Many claimed and rumored some orphans were happier than kids that had parents. Why? Because many children had parents who were physically present and available but not emotionally. Sometimes not physically available and not emotionally

Your parents were like that,

Causing you to mostly your entire life it was lonely days. eating alone and mostly all the time alone, But now things had changed and you were a soldier. You were always told to just suck it up and all and ‘bear with it’, many just compared themselves and said they’ve been through ‘worse’ and you had it ‘good’? Number one Bullshit. You never liked to show emotions anymore. Forced to grow up too fast for your liking at such a young age caused all of this and the sole reason for all of your pain was your family. Toxic and abusive. Expert manipulators, Scared whenever hearing loud noises or anything like it. Always yelled at for getting hurt. For making one mistake too, you were clumsy as a child. Alejandro and Rudy found it cute, but not your family. You accidentally broke a dish or dropped something was okay for the task force. They didn’t really mind. They would laugh it off but were so very concerned when seeing how you’d tense and freeze. Shaking and stammering. What was going on with you? No one knew. Days you’d stay in your room. Days you’d be alone. Days you’d cry, afraid. Scared shitless. To death! Coming back after a stressful day of training and slumping, dropping the bag onto the floor and with a heavy sigh, red eyes and heavy eyebags clearly you didn’t sleep well. Since the last week you hadn’t been eating at all. You thought nobody would notice but they did. After that whole incident with hearing your parents tried to sue you and get you discharged from military and making you homeless and forcing you to come back to them to abuse you more. The whole entire situation itself was all messed up, you hated your family with every fiber of your being. All your friends were fake. Captain price had found out and told them off, their manipulation and tricks wouldn’t work on this chap, he was wise and had experience, he was a father figure to everyone in the 141, as sometimes they jokingly called him dad. He was a no-nonsense man and talked business. Discipline. And sense into people. The drill sergeant was mean to you, the new captain yelled at you for one mistake. The soldiers tripped you. Bruising your knee. Burning your tongue on the tea. And now your parents and everything that happened today was shitty. How could it get any worse. Tearing your gaze away from the two and biting your inner cheek as you sped to your room

Not now, Not now

“Mija?” Alejandro’s voice broke the silence and snapped you out of your thoughts, busted. You looked up at him and he noticed your frown. Rudy got up from his seat and stuck his arm infront of you before you walked away, “What’s going on? Don’t just stay silent and answer us instead because I can’t read your mind. Chica” he urged, pushing a bit, you didn’t want any of this. You couldn’t take it “It’s none of your business! Just leave me alone!” You snapped. Getting all worked up caused hot tears stinging at your eyes threatening to streak down like a river streams their smiles which they had plastered all over on their now vanished. Replaced by deep serious, stern frowns. Alejandro took you by the chin “Look at me. Amor” he said in a low stern tone. He didn’t go further after seeing you start crying, you excepted him or Rudy to yell but they didn’t. You bit your nails as Rudy sat you down and sat beside you. His hand clasping over yours and stopping you from biting your nails. “No Mija. Don’t want you getting sick now”. He soothed and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Tears wetting his lip lightly. Alejandro had listened to you speak about this shitta day and he understood those struggles and all, he knew the feeling all to well. He was okay and comfortable enough with you to talk about his experiences. He didn’t mind listening to yours as it was the least him and Rudy could do. He kneeled and took another knee before taking your foot and resting it against his knee and sliding the shoe off. Seeing those red marks all over your feet. He rubbed his fingers around them trying to soothe it as best as he can. He knew in the past how you were very afraid of confrontations and anything similar to that so he kept a gentle low comforting and reassuring tone. Rudy had already informed Alejandro how you were like a magnet - Attracting people whenever they were sad. You were used in school. Many faking being friends with you to steal your talents and whenever you needed help they refused. But when they needed help you obliged sweetly. It was no doubt you were a kind person with a big motherly heart even at a young age. (It’s getting too personal here, some of these facts are what’s happening to me in irl…) They knew you needed reassurance and comfort all the time to make sure you were okay. Nobody wanted to see their friends in agony. Did they? Not at all unless it was some crazy, sadistic motherfucker on the side walk (sorry),

“It’s never your fault mija, it will never be” Rudy layed you on your back and got on your side, so did Alejandro as they pulled the comforter over you body and tucked you in before Rudy wrapped his arms around you “it’s never your fault. Amor” he whispered while his finger reached out wiping those tears and caressing the soft cheeks, feeling the bruises made his heart sink into his stomach as a reminder how mistreated and abused you were in the past, he wanted to cry himself. So did Alejandro. They never liked- or even liked thinking about such a sweet person be mistreated by such stupid, cruel people. They hated it, Hate. Despise. But now that they were here it was their job and responsibility to give you the love and care you deserved and needed. If your parents didn’t want you. They did. If nobody was willing to give the sweetheart, you any love. They’d do it. No hesitation at all, they were doing it right now. Peppering kisses all over you leaving tiny subtle marks, sometimes they felt like father figures that you never had but wanted but at the same time they were your lovers, despite maybe having a age difference you two were still adults, as they mumbled words of reassurance in constant incoherent string of words “Your doing so good, good job” “Your a strong girl. It’s okay” “I know, I know.” “I’ll take care of you” “it’s okay”,

Alejandro gently tugged off the uncomfortable jacket you had on and allowed both him and Rudy access to you. Rudy gently took your chin. Tiling you head up so the back of it pressed against his neck. His chin resting on your head as he stroked his fingers around your throat. Other hand grasping your t shirt collar and adjusting it a bit as Alejandro stroked your aching thighs. His teeth nipping lightly at your bottom lip as his tongue gently payed with the tip of your before gently wrapping around it, his nose pressed to yours, he pulled away slowly as Rudy did the same and got off your neck. Noticing how they left even more marks on you, but before the could do any more you were already asleep.

masterlist ❣

✦ this is the full list of my works that have already been/it's been publish.

✦ my fictional original works are intended for entertainment and do not represent any real person in any way.

✦ last update: 01.04.2024 (dd/mm/yyyy)

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DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

at first sight | drabble (request!).

pairing: idol!choi jongho x gn!reader status: complete | wc: 1,6k (total). genre&warnings: drabble. request. pure fluff. summary: Jongho sees you at a fansign and cannot get you out of his mind, his eyes always on you, but once you seat in front of him, that's when he realize that, maybe... he believes is love at first sight. part I || part II.

heart string of gold | written series.

pairing: OT8! ateez x fem!reader status: on going | wc: 89k (so far). genre&warnings: enemies to lovers, soulmate au (in a way), heavy angst (!!!), slight yandere behaviour, a little fluff (on specfic ocasions), slow burn (!!!), forbidden love (in a way), poly relationship, a lot of miscommunication, a lot of pinning, dimensional traveling, mature content (but no smut), violence, torture. there will be more specifics in each chapter.  summary: They had abandoned you, all nine people you cared about most had completely abandoned you. In the end, you were just like your parents and superiors said you would be if you continued to allow feelings to be felt. You then became Strickland's weapon and the Black Pirates, like their leaders, were your ultimate target.

pirate kingdom | smau series with written parts.

pairing: choi san x fem!reader status: hiatus. undergoing changes. genre&warnings: acquaintance to lovers. fluff. a little angst (on ocasion just bc). slow burn. idol! au. she/her pronouns. normalization of drinking/getting drunk. toxic envyroment. body dismorphia.  summary: i'll put it here once i'm back into posting it.

first winter's snowfall | one shot.

pairing: song mingi x fem!reader. status: complete | wc: 4,238. genre&warnings: exes to lovers. heavy angst!. use of alcohol and cigaretts. vivid hallucinations. fluff at the end. mingi is utterly and hopelessly in love with you. summary: He moved out. You are on opposite sides of the country. It's winter time, bringing back memories of when you were together. He resorts to vices. A night that started with a mix of nostalgia and inconsequentiality becomes a night of smiles, memories and love.

like you wanna be loved | imagine.

pairing: jeong yunho x fem!reader. status: complete | wc: 5,580. genre&warnings: strangers to lovers. fast burn. yunho and reader are teenagers who met during summer. mostly fluff with a tiny bit of angst. summary: with an encounter on the rock near the pier begins a friendship that, within a month, turns into butterflies in the stomach, sweaty hands, ragged breaths and hearts beating out of control.

hello, princess | one shot.

pairing: park seonghwa x fem!reader x kim hongjoong. status: complete | wc: 3,123. important: this story is a slight spoiler to "heart string of gold" series. you don't need to read this to read the series. genre&warnings: heavy angst. suggestive, but not really. enemies to lovers (without the lovers part). cursing. slight yandere behaviour. way too much fucking tension, i'm sorry. summary: once your superiors called you saying they caught two of the leaders of the Black Pirates, you rushed to meet them at the abandon building they were in, but the conversation ended up getting a little out of hand.

America Ferrera's breakthrough career

I just want to point out that this woman has delivered 2 cinematic, historical, browsing, impeccable speeches about the frustrations I feel about being a woman. And that actress of course is the one and only America Ferrera herself. Let's talk about her debut role in the movie — Real Women Have Curves. The 2002 independent film based on the play by Josefina Lopez is one of my all-time favourite movies I have watched in my lifetime. And if you somehow know this movie through another suspicious Greta Gerwig connection, I implore you to watch this. The movie was directed by Patricia Cardoso. At the time when it was released, America Ferrera had already filmed another movie but this movie debuted first putting her on the map. She was only 17 years old! Josefina López wrote the play when she was 18 years old. In 2019 it was the first Latina directed film to be included in the National Film Registry at the library of Congress. Taking inspiration from her real life, Josefina wrote Real Women Have Curves about Ana, mostly centered on her relationship with her mother Carmen, played by Lupe Ontiveros. This movie is touted, not only for its representation of women in their real bodies, it also delivered a warm and loving portrayal of Latina families and neighborhoods in Royal Heights and East Los Angeles. Again this isn't a time where Latinas, even today, are represented in a full and nuancent light. So to not only have this Latina family but to have them placed in East Los Angeles which has been criminally and stereotypically portrayed as "dangerous", really meant something and still means something today. And the message of that film being "there's so much more to me than my weight". I think this might serve as a comfort watch for many women around the world.

I don't understand how we were made to believe as children, that America Ferrera was the biggest woman to ever grace our tv screen. The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants is what I call perfection in cinema. If I ever will have a daughter in the future, she is required to watch this movie. Because every little girl needs to understand what sisterhood and what community is. I feel like girls today are not watching sisterhood displayed on television, or even in movies. It's always these toxic relationship, these toxic friendship — not to say that neither of those can't be toxic and bad, because even within this friend group they all have their own issues with each other, with their families etc. But it's not about the problems, it's how they solve them, how they come together. And I feel like this message should be displayed for the young girls today. And I just love how diverse the friend group is, because nowadays it seems like every teenager I see on tv are like the same skinny, white blondes. If you haven't seen this movie make sure to have a box of tissues nearby because it's going to make you cry.

The dark side of pretty privilige is, you don't get to be funny, intelligent, respected — you just get to be pretty. So I've just finished watching Ugly Betty, I fully recommend, and I realised the only female character who's actually respected within this show, is Betty. If you don't already know the concept, Betty gets hired to be the assistant to the chief. Because he sleeps with his assistants, they decide to get him an "ugly" girl so he won't sleep with her. But she's hired for Mode, which is kind of like Vogue/Cosmo type of magazine. So naturally she gets bullied. They treat her like crap because she doesn't look like the ideal Mode girl. But the crazy thing is, since none of the men want to sleep with her, they actually respect her. They start to treat her like a human being with ideas. Then she becomes one of the most liked people by anyone in their team. On top of that, all of these gorgeous women get treated like absolute crap. No one listens to them, their ideas are not heard, and they're not respected. So it leaves a very clear message: wether you are gorgeous or "ugly", misogyny will still hunt you down and it will catch you. For Betty, men don't look twice her way. They treat her bad from the moment they see her. Just because they don't want to sleep with her, they don't find her attractive. For the beautiful women in the show, like Amanda who is painted as the gorgeous blonde, men only want to sleep with her, and they don't see that she's smart. Go back to watch the show and you'll see how horribly the other women get treated compared to Betty (and they have some good cameos in this show).

As we are reaching the end, we can claim America Ferrera as "that girl". The term is, in my opinion, used for anyone who dresses like a fashionista and acts like the queen they are. But it's much more than that. I think, to achieve that title you have to be also impactful and encourage other women to be what they want to be. America really proved it by playing the Emmy Award winning role of Gloria in Barbie, directed by Greta Gerwig. I think every cis, heterosexual white male should be forced to sit down and watch this movie. The message behind the Barbie movie is about going from being a girl to being a woman. Barbieland is what our childhood felt like; we were safe, naive, independent and everything seemed perfect. The real world is what womanhood actually is. It's scary, sexist, there's pain and we're faced with so many challenges, while still being held to unrealistic expectations by society. "We mothers stand still, so our daughters can look back to see how far they've become". America Ferrera's speech about how hard it is to be a woman, really affected me and made me tear up in the theather. "It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood." America Ferrera the woman you are, thank you so much for helping me and other women to believe in theirselves. Happy international women's day! <3

Before I see any more nonsense or confusion about the riots currently happening in France against the death of Nahel.

Yes, it started as a protest to denounce the unfair death of a young man shot by the cops and what looks like a hasty cover-up by the police. But it isn’t that anymore. Because the riots that are currently happening are not protests, but pure “riots”, pure waves of violence and nights of urban warfare. What do all those rioters do? They attack the police stations... but they also attack the town halls, and the prisons, and the supermarkets, and the schools, and frigging habitation buildings. They attack everything without reason, because clearly these are people not here to support the family of the kid or to really protest against the situation, they’re just here because this last in a long series of violence protests allows them a perfect “cover” and “justification” for just pillaging and destroying everything. Because this is one of the two things that are heavily insisted upon: these riots are an excuse to pillage. We have hundreds and hundreds of shops that are attacked and stolen from during these riots - supermakets, computer shops, video game shops, shoe shops, jewelry shops and even book shops... Tell me how stealing away from a supermarket or stealing hundreds of Nike is supposed to be an anti-police movement or a support to a dead teenager? Same thing with the burning of cars - because you know where they burned cars? In poor neighborhoods. These rioters, most of them the “youth of the banlieue” (because they are mostly teen and young adults, and come from the “banlieue” and those same poor neighborhood supposed to be the target of police “unfairness”), burn the cars of their neighboor, of other poor people around them, and they destroy the shops of their own neighborhoods, and destroy the local schools. This shows the incoherence and madness of those riots - they want to so-call “protest” to defend the poor neighborhood and “all but ghetto in name” from the “violence” of the French institutions... But they do that by literaly destroying themselves their own neighborhood and attacking the same people they claim to riot in the name of. 

Heck, this went one step further now as they have started blocking and attacking habitation buildings. We have the testimony of random families, with young kids, who didn’t have anything to do with all that, but that yesterday night almost got killed because they were stuck in their building by the rioters, with the toxic fumes and flames of the car burning underneath entering the flat, and without the firemen intervention they might have suffocated to death. These rioters just to loot pubs or cigaret-shops, put into danger and nearly kill kids, just because they want to attack any building in sight (including habitation buildings) and burn whatever they can find. 

This is actually the culmination of a long process and history which has been pointed out and talked about before, but up until now there was always nuance to bring “Yes they did that but” “No, it isn’t all like that”, “We can’t put it all in the same bag”... But this is the first time we have an unanimously bad thing where there is “finally” no possible excuse to invoke. Year after year protests lost the ability to be peaceful as they devolved more and more into riots - many people using them as simple excuses and occasions to let out a primal anger and a destructive violence, and thus attacking anything and anyone. Same thing with the pillage - more and more as time goes by, protests and riots result in pillage of shops (and always “interesting” shops like Apple or Nike, don’t get things wrong, when you go steal an Xbox, it is clear you’re not stealing food). Add to that the growth of a true hatred of police in France - not just police but also firemen, somehow. In France there is a wave of hysteria where a lot of people seem to have a burning hatred for any form of “men in uniform” (it was at first just against the police, but now it has extended to firemen too), to the point a regular “game” in difficult and criminal neighborhoods is to call the police, only to throw stones at them when they arrive ; and similarly when firemen try to put out fires during riots or protests, nowadays they get BEATEN UP by the same rioters who started the fire. People keep saying “Yeah but the police did bad stuff, they deserve the anti-cop hate”. Okay, then can you explain the ANTI-FIREMEN HATE? The same people who claim “Death to the cops” also beat firemen up just because they try to do their job, aka prevent the destruction of the criminal rioters from becoming more dangerous. There is a true “hatred of the man in uniform” (or the woman in uniform, because of course there’s a gender-equality in this hatred, and no matter the gender, anyone wearing an uniform will get beaten up). It is also tied to the massive rise of attacks and harassment and violence towards mayors and deputies all throughout towns and villages of France - anyone who seems to represent or embody any “institution” or any form of the “government”, even FIREMEN for heaven’s sake, will become a target of violence and hatred.

And to this devolution of the “protests” into meaningless riots allowing an outburst of violence and theft ; and to this general wave of hysteric-hatred of all those wearing a “uniform” ; you need to add the mix of growing “casual violence” in France coupled with the feeling of impunity that grows in the most dangerous and criminal neighborhoods and communities of France. The “urban rodeos”, the rise of violence against pharmacists, the harassment of nurses in the street, and many more... 

I will also point out something about these protests for Nahel, this so-called “marche blanche”, something that made me think “Yep, this is going to go wrong.” or rather “This will not go a good way”. The presence of Assa Traroé by the side of Nahel’s mother during the protest. You might have heard of her because she is the sister of Adam Traore, another young man killed by the police during an arrest, and whose death caused massive protests and outrage, notably because he was black, which added to the topic of “police violence” the discussion of “police racism”. Assa took in charge the wave of protest and contestations surrounding her brother’s case, she made herself the “representative” of all the victims of police violence and police racism in France, she became the face of not only a social but also political movement, she worked hard to make the name and face of her brother the symbol of all the “innocent” victims of an “unfair” police brutality... But I put “innocent” in such a way because the big problem with the Traore family is that they are not innocent. The Traore brothers were notorious criminals, a clan renowned for drug dealing, racket and theft - a very important fact to keep in mind when you notice that the group formed by their sister, “Truth for Adama”, paints a picture of Adama and his family as innocent, lawful citizens that were harassed and killed by the police just out of racism and certainly not because they used weapons to racket junkies and scam people. And let’s not even talk of other nasty things surrounding the Traore case, such as how the group “fighting” for Traore had put up clearly anti-semitic messages, and the constant contestations of any testimony proving that maybe the Traore brothers weren’t such nice guys as it seems, or the general fear surrounding the Traore clan in their neighborhood... All of that to say - Assa Traroe did a heavy social, political and legal work to depict her brothers as innocent victims and the absolute embodiment of the “innocent victim of police brutality and racism”, infiltrating herself in any other case and protest, always putting her brother’s name alongside the ones of ACTUAL INNOCENT VICTIMS. And this is what disgusts me a lot - there are actual innocent victims of police brutality, cases where really good kid and nice guys got destroyed by racism, but they all get swept under the enormous glorification the Traore clan and its movement created for deceased criminals and definitively not nice guys. Heck, she also was one of the key players in the general confusion between French people killed by the police and the cases of black men killed by the police in the USA - she was the one that organized a protest for Georges Floyd IN FRANCE, manifesting and calling forth the FRENCH GOVERNMENT to do something about racism in the USA, and somehow invoking Floyd’s death as a symbol of police brutality “in France”? You clearly see the political thinking of this woman.

So to see her alongside Nahel’s mother, at the head of the protest, clearly made me go “Yep, that’s going to go bad”. And also seeing Nahel’s mother actually laugh and smile in the very beginning of the protest, as if she had a good time? That’s something I haven’t seen people talk about and that left me even confused, there were images on TV on her literaly having fun at the beginning when the protest put itself together, before she put on a “serious grieving” face - your son died yesterday, he isn’t even buried, and you’re laughing and smiling at a protest supposed to denounce the unfairness of his murder? It felt strangely wrong and I do not know why and how, since there was no sound recording just pictures, but... yeah it was weird. 

But to return to the original point I wanted to make: before anyone goes saying “Oh, a teen died by the police’s hand? Then the protest must be legitimate.” know that they are devolving into meaningless, senseless and dangerous riots that pillage video game shops, attack book-shops and habitation buildings, burn the car and destroy the schools of the same poor and difficult neighborhood they claim to “represent” and “protest for”, and are just a massive wave of pure, undiluted, blind hatred and violence targetting everything and everyone - a violence which clearly doesn’t have anything to do anymore with Nahel’s death, a violence purely for the sake of violence. It is very sad to say, but this clearly isn’t about him anymore, and these people managed to completely cover up and soil his death with their mass pillage and bloody stupid riots.

can you talk about why you like davejake i'd love to hear your reasoning... it's something i've always been a fan of but i never see anyone talk about it

my thoughts on how i like my davejake vary a lot because.. they're both so so aro to me but i also love them being in a relationship so i constantly flip-flop on that but. yes I can go into this. I went into this last year and I will do it again

I like their mutual interest in 'dead things' ( Jake being more into human remains while Dave has his interest in animal preservation mostly... except for the.. fetus..... ) , comics ( Dave being into reading and making webcomics, while Jake reads physical comics ), fashion style ( Dave literally calls the felt suit 'action pajamas' at one point and you cannot tell me Jake wouldn't think hes clever )

Hear me out but how they were raised seems very similar at it's core when you think about it, Jake and Dave KNOW hypervigilance, just in different situations. Jake and Dave partially raised themselves, and I'm aware bro 'raised' dave, but when you're 'raised' like that, you're fending for yourself and depending on yourself.

Also.. Masculinity issues. I think this is the most fun aspect of davejake because it's really enjoyable thinking of whether they'd make each other worse or better in this regard. Will they continue to perform and reinforce each others toxicity? Will they understand each other n slowly talk each other into realizing they're not happy in the way they go about masculinity and what they think it is? Up to you.

They're also both really dependent on having people Enjoy their presence but honestly all teenagers do but it's still worth to add.

Humor wise they'd love each other imo... If you read Jake's conversation with Caliborn and didn't believe dave would be rolling on the floor hearing that if he could then you're so so wrong.

Also, just a smaller addition: Jake loves movies, Alpha dave makes movies. Grandpa harley collects knights, dave is a knight. I think davejake compliment each other well.

Get to Know the Fanfic Writer

I got tagged by @hrh-spinach ! I haven’t been long on tumblr and haven’t followed a lot of my fellow fanfic writers yet, so if you stumble on this and want to give it a try, consider yourselves invited to :)

When did you post your first-ever fanfic?

2005, when I lived in the USA (no relation between the two facts, though). But  started writing as a teen in the glorious early 2000s I guess (yes, I’m ancient, ’83 baby you guys!)

First Character(s) you wrote?

Wrote for myself? Louis de Pointe du Lac from the Vampires Chronicles by Ann Rice. I loved Louis – but never hated Lestat though!

For actual online publishing value, I don’t remember if it was a Vision of Escaflowne fanfic (I was an anime dork) or a Michael Lee fic from Witch Hunter Robin. My most serious fanfic was starring Michael though. If you don’t know him he was a poor teenage white hat hacker imprisoned by the shady organization he hacked into for funsies. He was then forced to do computer related tasks for them to be allowed to stay alive. Poor kid even wears dogtags. Little did I know it was the start of my obsession for dog-coded characters that end up paying a heavy price for just wanting to have fun…

Main Character(s) you're currently writing?

Why, Jesse Pinkman of course.

It always sounds a little ridiculous to state it this way but I relate to him on so many levels... I'll keep it at the fact that his character development actually really helped me realize there were some things I owed to myself to refuse…

He is an advocate for anyone who's struggled with addiction, has ever felt inadequate, out of place and belittled for it... I love how so many different people will reinterpret and embrace him thanks to that.

Character(s) you haven't written about before but plan to soon?

Diane Pinkman? It’s the chapter after the one I’m finishing and I’m looking forward to writing her. Two Sides of a Coin has just been a huge excuse for writing from the POVs of many of the characters that are still alive around the timelines of Ozymandias/Granite State/Felina.

My favorite one of these chapters is Andrea’s though.

I'm still surprised I included Walt as a regular POV through the fic, never thought I had it in me to write him (but then I also wrote from Welker's and Kenny's of course Todd's POV, so... I have this need to understand the rationales that sustains assholes and what/who scares me... It's a trauma thing ^^;).

Fandom(s) you're currently writing?

Breaking Bad/BCS mostly. I’m a huge fan of Charlie Broker too - and of whenever Aaron Paul stars in a story that criticizes toxic masculinity, so I have a Black Mirror WIP as well.

Would love to write about some of my favorite French shows (Black Hearts, l’Opéra, very recently Polar Park a brand new series that I just binged, or Engrenages, or the Holy Grail Quest parody Kaamelot… so many of them!) but that would not touch many readers and for fanfics, I’m a comment whore.

Besides, I want to finish my 4 WIPs (I count the post ElCamino fic that will follow Two Sides of a Coin as an ongoing WIP because I’ve started writing it already in order to stay sane while I finish TSoaC!)

I also need to focus on my personal stories, so, not enough time for other fandoms!

Platonic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Oh my… I have this silly AU where Walt gets decommissioned and Jesse and Gale get to work together in the Superlab and they develop this silly puppy cute friendship. I was afraid it would be a bit morbid given what happens in canon, but I don’t know… I really think they could have been a support for one another in different circumstances! It's a crack fic this one XD

Next chapter: Gale feeds Jesse healthy food and Jesse is a bit upset that he has been given vegan food without knowing it because vegan food is weird, ok (even though he liked it)! As a retaliation, he will call Gale’s bullshit regarding the “freedom” of addicts to buy and use drugs once they’re hooked – especially when you produce a super pure crystal that is even more addictive.... Hypocritical much, Gale?

Jesse calling out anyone’s bullshit is always a treat to write!

Romantic Pairing(s) you're currently writing?

Cliff and Lana Stanfield from Black Mirror’s “Beyond the Sea”. I really love how the interpretation of the characters’ relationships evolve as you delve into the story. Not going to spoil but there is one scene between them that really turns the table and reveals the truth of their relationship and that really got to me…

Your top AO3 tags?

Character study would be the main, because I take writing fanfic as a character building exercise. A nice sandbox to practice in.

Toxic masculinity is also one of the main topics I end up regularly tackling one way or the other…

Backstory brainrot is another one, I guess? I can’t help falling into interpretative backstory madness…

Current platform you use for posting?

A long time ago, I used to be on fanfiction.net… But the interface hasn’t evolved and feels less user friendly. Nowadays only on AO3. I’m aware of the controversies. I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t looked into them because the platform is convenient and I’ve read some great fics there…Not proud of that.

Snippet of the WIP you are currently working on?

I’m not good at snippets! I tried and was about to share around 2500 words of next chapter ^^; So I won’t!

Regarding Two Sides of a Coin, I would love to publish next chapter soon(ish). I would actually love to start publishing my ElCamino/post ElCamino sequel sometimes at the end of the year but that doesn't seem realistic...

Next chapter is from Todd's POV (the last one normally, I cannot with him anymore but I have to commit to my writing plan no matter how hurtful it is to my soul!). I’m realizing most of the structure of the chapters of Part 4 will be built on the same model: flashbacks that allow me to give into my backstory frenzy and “current events” (we have made it to early July by now I think, September is getting closer!).

This chapter heavily rests on the working theory I’ve developed in the fic that even if Todd and Jesse were not friends per se during the Vamonos era, they had some kind of friendly relationship going on, though Jesse would have kept a bit of distance.

I see Todd as relationship starved and he started projecting more onto his intractions with Jesse than there really was (just always rememer this will never be a Todd/Jesse fic, ty!). Jesse on the other hand, at this point of the series, had been efficiently cut from all his supports - by Walter of course (Andrea, his family…) but also by Mike. The scene where Skinny and Badger stop by to bring the roadie cases and Mike is on the look-out so Jesse kicks them out asap is so sad and kind of infuriating. Full confession, I'm not a Mike stan even though I love him as a character and love what he brings to the story. So… regarding dudes his age that his two “mentors” allow him to talk to… Jesse’d have been limited to Todd at this point. And he needs connection, we know that… which is why I think and explore the idea that they did have some form of camaraderie that meant something very different for each of them until the events Dead freight…

Back to next chapter, Todd is really hard to write, so I take my time… I actually want to go a bit further with his character study and test some of his limits without breaking out of character. Tough ballance! It’s a bit of a challenge right now…

This is such a weird message for you to get but I wanted to get these feelings out somehwere and you are very comforting.

I feel like i’m forever done with social media. I’ve spent so much time on social media since becoming a teenager. I’ve neglected my actual social life completely for years. And it’s not been good for my social development, as an already awkward person back then i’ve only become increasingly more so. But I kept going back to social media. It would make me anxious to be here but also without it. It would make me angry. Having to interact with people and seeing peoples extreme emotionality. It ruined my mood very often. People were always extremely toxic over the smallest disagreements and would throw extremely severe buzzwords at everyone. Like radical feminists being called genocidal or fascist. Even though I knew I was none of those or some of the other stuff others have called me, it felt incredibly burdensome and tiring to have such serious terms thrown as me and others similar over very small disagreements. Then there’s the threat of doxxing online. It got me so scared from years ago when a friend of mine was doxxed over an anime disagreement. Yes you heard that right. She thought a character in a show was overrated and someone took it upon themselves to doxx her and out her sexuality to her family. Luckily they were accepting though surprised. But the mere fact that stuff like that was becoming more and more common place in the online space to do was frightening. Especially nowadays when i’ve been part of communities regarding much more heavy subjects. The odds are higher and I’m too old. I’m only in my twenties but I feel simply too old for all the drama online. It’s exhausting. Seeing people try to argue over the most insignificant stuff you might say in an afterthought on twitter or on here or wherever. People will find a way to start arguments. Always. And im simply not in that mindset to engage anymore. I can’t. While I’m still exhausted I’ve stopped being anxious in the way where i shake. I’m apathetic largely in my reaction towards others online now. I cannot connect to others anymore. I like some more than others but I don’t trust anyone even the slightest bit anymore. My anxiety is mostly focused around the lack of trust now towards the people, not the actual spaces.

You might say it’s odd for me to say all this, online. It is I guess. I’m not leaving the internet per se. I’m just not addicted anymore, i think? I’m not reliant. And i’m completely fed up with social media. I do not wanna make friends or connections. I do not wanna argue my POV with others anymore. I don’t wanna try. Sometimes it’s nice to just exist without having to justify said existence and I think the online space have become nothing except that, people trying to justify their opinion and feelings and push them onto others. I’m doing it in a way now. You will be my last online interaction. I’m sorry. But you are my favorite account on here and you remind someone from my past. In a positive way.

My mother always say that people online are not a real representation of humans. But I always think to myself that I disagree. I think online, people are their truest selves, without the fear of repercussions in most cases. But peoples true selves make me irritable and anxious. So goodbye social networks.

merry belated christmas btw

This was very insightful and actually gave me quite a bit to think about on my end as well, anon! You've perfectly worded what it means to be chronically online. Not in the way meant to offend, but in the literal sense.

I appreciate the kind words 🥹 and I wish you the best of luck! This sounds like a really good decision and the amount of self reflection you have is gonna do you a lot of good now and later. Best of luck! 💜💜💜

I thought you never would… - Chapter 2

Chapter two

Word count: 1,261 words

Warning: language

For the next few weeks we played together had a lot of laughs, like really a log. I really liked playing with those two guys I haven't had so much fun with people from my town. 

Since I haven't had many friends to hang out with my time mostly consisted out of staying at home and going on walks with my dog, Balou, which I mostly calls bubby. Sometimes I would meet up with people, but those weren't really friend you know? Defining a friend, means a person who'd be there for you no matter what, made sure you were alright and always listened to you. But me? I never had a person like that which sucked most of the time, luckily I could talk to my mom about everything. 

There were just things you couldn't talk to your mom about since she was an adult and you were a teenager. There were things she just wouldn't understand and you actually preferred talking to people your age about various situations. 

So there you were kinda losing interest in playing video, sometimes you had those times not wanting to play and just chill out watching Netflix or reading books.

Since COVID hit you started reading again and realized how much you missed reading and imagining things. So you also kinda lost contact with them, not really you just didnt join their invitations and kept making up stupid excuses so you wouldn't have to join. 

So you haven't had much contact with them for about 5 months, which is kinda absurd, but it just was like it was. 

Anyways one day in November Ryan texted you and asked you, if you're still there and up to play and you texted back, sure. 

You joined their voice chat that night and Dean seemed kinda pissed when you joined, which you could understand I mean you disappeared for months and didn't text them or said you're just not in the mood. 

"So y/n where have you been all those months?" Dean asked curiously but also kinda pissed, because he was the one who mostly invited you to join. 

"You know I've been just busy, that's all." You said softly as Ryan sighed. "You know Dean was so pissed at you that you didnt join or texted anything." He said. "I know and I'm sorry, probably wasn't my best move." You said genuinely. "Yup definitely wasn't." Dean said and you nodded to yourself. 

"So how have you've been?" You asked curiously with a smile in your voice. Dean kinda liked your voice, you were so friendly and it made him smile. "I started a vocational training to become a chef." Dean said proudly and smiled. "Oh that's cool, my dad's a chef." You told him with a smile. "Really? At what kind of restaurant does he work at?" Dean asked. "My dad has a Spanish restaurant, since his dad is from Spain, I mean my grandpa." You kinda rambled, making Ryan and Dean laugh. You blushed slightly and didn't say anything else.

"Sound interesting tho. So not Mexican but Spanish right?" Ryan asked. "Yeah." You said with a nod. "So how come you started the training?" You asked curiously. There was a silence for a moment which made you frown and you thought you said something wrong. "My grandma has a bar which also is a restaurant." He said. You nodded, "that's cool." 

You didn't know why he was so weird about it, there probably was something about it you just didn't know. "Ugh Dean are playing again?" You heard a girl say in the background and a the headset thrown on the table. "Dean and his girlfriend aren't in a good place right now." Ryan said and you nodded. "Oh okay."

In fact Dean had thought about breaking up with his girlfriend, Kira, since they were fighting most of the time and she was being lazy. He worked and brought the money home. He's just 19 and lives alone since he's 18, for the reason that his mom threw him out, because he was causing too much trouble she could've handled. There was just something about Kira that didn't let him go off her probably, since she was his first love and the first girl he had all his experiences with. No question they were toxic for each other. 

"Sorry, guys." Dean said with a sigh as he took his headset on again after having a fight with Kira. "It's fine." You said. "Wanna play something funny?" Ryan asked trying to cheer Dean up since he knows how tired Dean is of his girlfriend Kira. 

"Yeah let's play GTA V, if you want to." You suggested and Dean smiled a bit. "Sounds like a great idea." Dean said. "Alright GTA it is." Ryan said as you turned GTA on. You guys played for the next few hours before ending the game. "Guys, I'm heading to bed." You said. "But you're not gonna disappear for another 5 months will ya?" Ryan joked and you laughed. "No, imma be online right in the morning waiting for you guys." You said playfully. "You better be not joking." Dean said playfully strict, making you laugh. "Alright, good night." You said before leaving the voice chat. 

"She's really cool." Ryan said with a smile. "Yeah, she is. She's also really friendly and mice." Dean answered. "I'm kinda curious how she looks tho." Ryan said. "Me too." 

"You and Kira okay?" Ryan asked and Dean sighed rubbing his face checking if Kira was asleep before actually answering. "I don't know man, she's tiring me out and waisting the little money I have for stupid shit i don't even need or she." He said with an annoyed sigh. Ryan rolled his eyes since he never like Kira, so did his family. Kira was a total bitch towards him and his family, always thinking about herself. 

Dean almost broke up with her once, because she's crazy like for real. One time she made him so horny, even though she wasn't on birth control, they had sex, without a condom. The next morning Dean was panicking and asking her to take the Plan B pill, since he didn't want to impregnate her. He just couldn't help it the night before, she worked him up so much, that he had to fuck her. 

When he asked her to take the pill after, she said why would she, making Dean frown. He didn't how she could be so reckless and careless about getting pregnant. She even said, if she'd be pregnant, she didn't get rid of the baby, that's something they didn't do in her family. Dean was so overwhelmed and panicking, he eventually called his dad and stepmom. 

They eventually talked some sense into this crazy girl and made her take the Plan B pill. After that his dad, stepmom and stepsister told him, that she's crazy, but Dean loved her, he couldn't let go of her, how could he? 

"Dude, she's just not...the girl for you." Ryan said probably for the 100th time, making Dean sigh. "There are millions of other girls in this world why are you sticking to that crazy and psychotic girl, who tires you out, and almost caused you burnout." Ryan said with a sigh as Dean rubbed his temple. "I know, maybe you're right." Dean said completely surprising Ryan since Dean always brushed him off about Kira. 

"Imma talk to her tomorrow." Dean added a moment later. "What? Really?" Ryan asked shocked and Dean nodded. "Yeah, really."

Read next part here! :)

I definitely agree that Charles doesn’t always know how to interact with Max and I think that’s partially to do with their history (sworn rivals or whatever they like to call it), but I also think it’s because of how tense everything was last season for the championship. I think after Charles won the first race, he fully expected to have season like Max and Lewis had last year and that’s why I think he somewhat expects it to be like closer to the end of the season depending of what results are. He also will remember nico and Lewis and how toxic that was, even though he wasn’t in f1 at that point, and those are really the most recent championship battles (Lewis/bottas don’t count cause he was never going to be allowed to win a championship, he was the second driver)

But I also think it won’t get like that and it’ll mostly be because of how Max responds. His relationship with Lewis is/was completely different - the man never seemed to like Max and people constantly say Lewis essentially bullied him when he first joined f1 (he was literally a teenager so… wtf). They’ve had a civil relationship at best throughout the years. I think everyone knew it was gonna get ugly last year when it appeared someone other than bottas would be fighting Lewis because unfortunately, Lewis has had a toxic championship fight before with someone he called a friend and he’s shown he will use the media and such to play dirty (we all know he does cause nico did the same to him). I can’t see Max or Charles doing that tbh - max only did it in retaliation to Lewis and even then he was very tame with his responses, while Charles has already refused to be baited by saying how much he and max respect each other (good old British media trying to create a toxic atmosphere again 🙃). Redbull and Ferrari seem to have a very different relationship to each other compared to redbull and merc last year which will also make a difference too tbh but we’ll see what happens later in the season.

I also don’t think Max wants that again for a start - especially after how intense everything was last season and how drained he and everyone were after it. I also think their relationship was already different to the one he had with Lewis - he and Charles might not have been besties but they had/have a lot of mutual friends in the paddock and they did talk over the years. Lewis on the other hand has always kept himself separate from other drivers and only really the past couple seasons seems to be trying to form some kind of surface level friendship with other drivers. So even though Charles seems to be kind of expecting it, I don’t believe it will ever get to the levels it did last year, just because I don’t think Max or even Charles will let it - they both seem to be the types that would react rather than instigate so unless one of them decided to be a dick and make a comment, I think it’ll stay pretty civil.. and the media will hate it

Charles saw 2018 and how media and Lewis reacted to Sebastian when he was in a winning car in the first half of the season. Again, it was very toxic and the problem was presented as Sebastian with His Highness remaining spotless and innocent. God, I am looking forward to the day he retires.

Yet, I don't think Charles' sole reason to act like this is him expecting a toxic fight. He was very tense and cautious in 2019, too. He relaxed visibly only after he strengthened his status as number 1 driver against Sebastian. It is his personality mostly. And it is okay. He will continue to be the live example of 😌 emoji this year if things and the points margin go like this. But if ahit hits the fan in the coming months, I hope they both stay away from the crappy baitings of the media and just do their thing. They are both reactionary people instead of being provokers; so, it is mostly upto their teams and the fans.

blog post 10.10.22 / 10.11.22

it is late when i am writing this. 23:35 to be exact. i don't really know why i am writing. maybe just to share something into the void, just a train of thought in an otherwise seemingly uncharted territory that i call my mind.

i just think that over the years i have changed a lot as a person and i deserve to give myself recognition. i used to be the kind of person that did whatever someone asked of them for fear of rejection, ridicule or even worse than that. i was constantly living up to others' expectations of me, i became what they wanted me to be, or who they thought i was. i used to play into everyone's hand and back then i thought it was because i was exactly that- who they thought i was.

i used to be the kind of person who was often the centre of attention, whether willingly or unwillingly. i struggled with most my age, resulting in poor social skills so in school i was often bullied or disliked for my meltdowns and outbursts and often times immature behaviour. i liked a lot of video games and shows and books that most kids didn't really know about, or if they did they weren't into them so those naturally landed me as a target for more attention and sometimes bullying. it didn't help that due to me having autism (i would find out at age 18) i tended to only find friends who either had some sort of neurodivergency, trauma or otherwise hyperfixation-based common ground. my parents didn't like most of these people, and i wasn't really allowed out much so i mostly only had them to talk to at school. i was seen as an odd kid, most would probably say i was known for my loudness.

i used to also be the kind of person who didn't back down, and this sometimes caused a lot of discord in my life. sometimes this lead to me losing everything i ever knew. struggling with autism and not knowing my entire life until becoming an adult, i didn't understand social boundaries like most teenagers and children would comprehend. i was raised by my bio mom and she was a single mom without many friends if any so undoubtedly she wasn't the ... ideal candidate to raise a child. it is noteworthy that she has a slew of mental health disorders, namely ADHD, either BPD or bipolar disorder and "multiple personalities", according to my brother's bio dad. so i was often seen as "behavioural" when really i just genuinely didn't understand my adoptive parents and their parenting style because i had never really received much parental authority before them. i will admit, i did argue a lot but it was because i felt like i needed to defend myself constantly from everyone. i was the running joke of the family, in my opinion. i was the punching bag, mostly between the ages of 13-16. but yeah whatever moving on-

i used to be an extremely toxic partner. in some ways an extremely toxic friend too. i didn't really know boundaries, i often overshared. i know that this doesn't mean that i am necessarily toxic but however at the ages i was at, but some of the ways i acted and displayed emotion were not always the kindest or the mildest. i was extremely su*c*dal back then, sometimes i didn't make efforts to hide self-harm and sometimes i depended heavily on my partners for support from conflicts at home, and often times my partners or friends were subjected to consequences stemming from my own mother. my parents kept me on a tight leash after they had broken me up with my first partner whom i had dated for about a year and a half- the timeline is a bit fuzzy in my head so. but i practically had no idea how to communicate with people, i was very clingy and needy and jealous. i didn't give people space, i would think it's fair to say i was smothering. i just. i don't know, these don't necessarily make anyone toxic but i look back at myself and i just cringe. i used to ridicule people for being the same as me, but yet whenever someone dare say something about me i wouldn't take kindly to it. i will admit, i was sensitive and sometimes that made me an asshole and go for the lowest blows and i am not proud of that. i am not.

i just. sometimes was very unpleasant.

i don't lead a perfect life, let me tell you that. it's a rather sad one, with some more uplifting chapters, but the majority of it is just full of traumatic events and otherwise melancholy atmosphere that it is noteworthy to say i haven't much touched on this as an adult in a respectful manner, per se. i've mostly just been brutally honest, maybe in some ways hurtful by the truth, but they were things that needed to be said.

but, like stated earlier, i like to think there has been a lot of growth in my mindset. i learned how to better take care of myself, learning how to unravel the deep rooted trauma i have and reteach myself how to be a person, just this time nearly 2 decades old. i learned how to take moments in stride. to realize, okay yes until about this year i knew absolutely nothing about myself. for the most part. i just had this shell on, and inside was this person who was so... much different than i thought i was; than everyone else thought i was. i became more open, or at least more accepting of criticism. i took the things people said and didn't always take them to heart or believe them or even sometimes buy into what they told me. i learned that sometimes my own opinion of myself is all that really matters. it's hard to say, but i suck at being independent. yes, i buy groceries and i pay rent and i live on my own but i will say that i'm not really a person who can do the whole on-their-own thing, yknow? i struggle to be on my own. but, i will say i did learn more responsibility. i manage my bills and i make sure i complete the things that i am supposed to in my daily life as much as possible. i go to doctors appointments and endocrinologist appointments and once i ventured all the way to downtown torontk to meet my surgeon for my chest surgery.

i never really thought i would also be a quiet person as i grew up. i'm a homebody. i don't read much anymore, despite having tons of books that peak my interest and hyperfixations. i don't really game much. i like to watch a lot of youtube, most times just commentary on true crime or trendy media or sometimes just video games. i like theory videos on movies and shows and games i like, i like to also look at alternate reality things. i am interested heavily in the idea that there are parallel universes to ours. i frequently draw, i enjoy semi-realism and cartoon/anime styles. i've been drawing since around fifth grade or so. i like to sometimes do makeup, as occasionally i do drag. i enjoy fashion, and i enjoy photography. i enjoy poetry and songwriting, i am into pretty much every single genre of music except country. i did not think that i would be a stoner, but i mean it is better than everything else i could be doing. i used to drink heavily, which caused me a lot of health issues including hospitalization so i had to stop. i vape, i will smoke darts the odd time if i have a taste for them i otherwise put them in my b0ng. i like to ride my bike, i have a schwinn bicycle. i spend a lot of time alone on the telephone or video call with my partner, we've been together for half of a year. i like to sleep, that is something i never imagined liking when i was younger. i like to cook, when i have the resources. i have a green thumb for succulent plants. i like to drink tea, that has never changed. although, i sometimes enjoy coffee. i believe in astrology and the studies of the stars. i believe in tarot and crystal work and divination. i like to analyze birthcharts. i like to practice meditation and sometimes shifting. i am a generally calm person, a lot of people find comfort in me for some odd reason. most of my friends come to me when they need help- i am often seen as a parental friend. i am not very interesting. i am just a person who has been through a lot, and has quite a bit of words in their brain to share.

um yeah. sorry this ran long.

No matter what- Just Love Yourself.

Anne was a hyper extroverted , gullible and naive girl , who had a lot of friend circles( most of them were toxic and never loved her sincerely) inside and outside the campus premises on her early teenage period. She always belittled herself and mostly hated her own. Always loved and trusted everyone- so as we know some are people are poison and she basically was a victim cause she was very easy to be manipulated. Often she was bullied by her own friends (she considered them as friends thou the others bullied her, cause she was so innocent or naive I could say). Receiving mental harrasements were like a daily routine for her ,where gradually Anne lost trust and belief in herself. Thou she lost trust in herself she never hated her so called friends.

Anne turned out to be disgraced of herself. She tried to mirror others personality on herself , like mostly replicated to be like her friends.And she was happy that she was not herself, she wore a mask inorder to attain forgered happiness in her own life.Gradually she turned to be too naive and frail than before she went through alot of influences (mostly the negative and dark influences).

Totally being swayed by her friends , Anne began to be a playgirl, and a drug addict and many more negativity drowned her, but she remained so active good child and an outgoing one infront of her parents, her family and relatives and they liked the masked Anne's personality a lot than before but little did they knew that she was not being herself, cause why? We love our parents a lot but mostly they dont undestand us, they dont try to know more about us so according to kids they're basically elders whom they are taught to respect and not to love. Oops sorry back to Anne lol; Academics and results of Anne began to slump like stock marketing or much more worse than that I could say. Whatever, she at first gave less attention to those failed papers but her parents seemed to be unsatisfied with her studies and results.

Even though she was spoiled, nonetheless had a dream, a passion- But if we dont work for what we ought to be in the future then whats the value of dreaming right ? Yeah she had dreams but never worked on it, but later on mid of her campus life she learned about the people behind her , she asked herself- does my friends value me? do they love me like I do? Where they really my friends? did they consider me as one ?- (I WOULD SAY A BIG FAT NO). She sat herself infront of a mirror and asked these questions to herself? the answers were just NO. Later on she asked herself a ton of questions which she herself seemed hard to answer. Gradually she began to know that she got spoiled , shes not herself, she've changed too much more worse and felt the need to change.

Anne began to read poems poetries and inspirational quotations and mostly many of the words of the famous musician band from Korea who were of seven boys ;was changing her to a better person or we could say she found bliss in there. Lately she tried to love herself and began to accept her flaws , to believe herself . On campus she started to ignore her so-called friends (IGNORANCE IS BLISS Y'ALL). She came outside of her flings for a better herself. Slowly she found happiness alone and began to be more introverted but she found sincere happiness on her current personality. Trying to focus more on studies and coping up with all the subjects was damn hard for her but she tried and atlast total results she've got were 85%.Yeah basically Anne was happy with her results and she cut off all her friendship strings like cutting off the clothe tags . Till now she regrets her old self but those failures keeps her going. Her present actions keeps her motivated and her present self makes her more happier than ever.So people change cause they would've been through situations where they felt the need of a new self.

Anne's life was just a small basic story of lack of self love and trust. Like failures are not the end its just the starting- A start were we perpetually peg away than before to make ourselves better the next time. So basically Anne had a lot more failures in her life but she later started to see them as the root cause of a better life. So failure ain't a negative aspect it just keeps us going.Self love and self belief is what a person needs in life cause we are the one who can fully accept ourselves ,our flaws and mistakes rather than others. For you its just you, so try to be a better person to ourselves rather than forcing ourselves to be like others cause what maybe better for one may not be better for the other!

Commander Buir

Follow-up to this post. Not in any particular order, just spitballing ideas, with contributions from several friends on discord.

Like presumably it takes long enough for them all to meet up again that Anakin and Cody do, in fact, end up treating each other like family, just so I can have that good good "well, guess I'm Dad now" energy. Shmi isn't entirely sure what's going on but she's not a slave anymore and her kid seems to like this rando mando, so.

Anakin gets to have a mom and two dads, though one of the dads is arguably younger than him.

Also when they all meet up again and Cody explains the "General Skywalker got shrunk" thing, there are three reactions: (General) Obi-Wan: Oh, Anakin. Obi-Wan: [gestures to take him, ends up with an armful of clingy padatoddler] Anakin: You can't blame this on me, Obi. Obi-Wan, a little teary, because babies cause emotions: Of course I can, you absurd human being. ------ Rex: That's... my general. Anakin: I am, Captain. Rex: Cool cool cool I'm gonna go stand where I can't, uh, break you. Anakin: I'm not THAT fragile! ------ Ahsoka: [gasp] Skyguy is SKYKID! Anakin: Padawan, this is-- Ahsoka, grabbing him and cuddling: Oh my goodness you're adorable this is the best day ever. Anakin: This is humiliating, Snips, put me down. Ahsoka: Never.

Anakin hates being a toddler because of the lack of independence but Cody keeps picking him up when he's cranky and just holding him until he falls asleep and that's... nice.......

- The brain limitations aren't quite as bad as the situation with Sokanth and Ylliben in the other AU, but - Even if his brain is mostly adjusted he’s still got a tiny body with different needs that he’s not used to. Like, he needs to sleep more but he’s got more energy than usual when he’s awake and it’s all weird.

Cody carrying around toddler Anakin like "God you give me ulcers but you're adorable, you little shit."

Inconveniently tiny body aside, Anakin has a pretty great time in this au. His family are all together and safe and within reach. His wife isn't around, but toddler brain means he doesn't have the Romance Drive, so that's not as bad as it could be It could be significantly worse.

@atagotiak asked: Does Anakin get annoyed about being called cute? - To which I say, He bites the first few times but Shmi tells him that's Naughty so he stops. - Babies are cute so you packbond with them before they’re annoying, Anakin is cute as a self defense mechanism - He’s extra annoying so he needs to be extra cute

You know how you need to keep an eye on toddlers so they don't, like, fall down the stairs or put something toxic in their mouth? - They need to keep an eye on Anakin specifically so he doesn't rewire the ship they're in while they're in hyperspace. - He has less self control on account of being smol. He still has all the mechanical knowledge! Just less comprehension of y’know, consequences.

Anakin, with a sippy cup: This is demeaning. Ahsoka: Your hands don't work great enough to avoid accidents yet. Anakin: It's still embarrassing.

General Kenobi can't just kill Maul, not when Maul is baby right now (sixteen, which is baby enough) so he just. Kinda. Kidnaps a baby Sith. (It's fine. He's fine.)

General Kenobi (not to be confused with Padawan Kenobi) decides to declare Maul his new padawan because someone has to deal with this teenager, and Plo already claimed the rest of Ahsoka's training. And Anakin's three, so.

"What do we do with Maul?" "Eh, I can handle him. I dealt with teenage Anakin getting arrested for illegal pod-racing twice a month, I can work with this."

Maul bites, but only slightly more often than Anakin, it's fine

Ahsoka definitely bullies Maul whenever possible

Consider: Rex holding very still because Anakin wanted to be tall, so he climbed Rex. Being unexpectedly climbed is better than being unexpectedly yeeted. It's still extremely nerve-wracking. - Cody is perfectly capable of running around with a backpacking toddler General, but Rex freezes like a statue. - Ahsoka finds this hilarious

You know how little kids like to be thrown around and swung in circles and stuff like that? This must get even more ridiculous with force users. Can throw a child real high and catch them safely. - Rex panics whenever Ahsoka throws her chibified Master

Literally everyone except Rex loves being yeeted. Even Maul can appreciate a good tactical yeet no shut up he's not having fun this is TRAINING - Rex is Suffering - Cody, a very Tired Dad, deserves to mock his vod'ika a little, as stress relief - Rex, a certified Little Brother, shoves Cody off something tall. Jokes on him, Cody thinks freefall is fun too.

Tia asked: So the people who didn’t exist yet got flung bodily back in time and Anakin did the mental time travel. Why did Obi-Wan not become Padawan Kenobi? (I mean “because I want it that way” is def a good enough answer I’m just wondering if there’s any reason.) - Which, well, it really was mostly "I want to" but here's two options, both of which come down to Blame Daughter and Father. 1. They figured a responsible adult Jedi Master was needed to convince people. 2. Nobody was supposed to get de-aged but Daughter figured they needed to make Anakin less liable to kill things for a few years. - Also IDK the Force God-Manifestations also took away any risk of rapid aging and early death from the clones because uhhhhhhhhhhh I said so

Rex and Ahsoka are fumbling their way through a relationship where ages are just really confusing and awkward, so they're keeping it to just kisses and cuddles for a bit.

Cody is so tired he doesn't even realize anyone's hitting on him until it's been three years of co-parenting with Shmi and his General. - Somehow Anakin knows Cody is in a relationship before Cody does. Cody has never been so embarrassed. - How did he manage to be less observant than Skywalker? -- it was sabotage; all his brain cells were taken up in managing said Skywalker -- Because Skywalker was up at three in the morning whacking a training droid with a stick so he didn't have the energy for Relationships

Also Shmi's come-ons are super subtle, while the General's are... well, Cody's gotten very used to ignoring anything ambiguous on that end because fraternization rules, and also because Obi-Wan flirts a lot with everyone. So.

Please imagine Cody and General Kenobi walking around with Anakin tucked into a toddler sling while they do whatever work they've ended up with at the Temple. - Yes, Cody is helping the Jedi figure out the best plan of attack to take down this slave ring because his grasp on tactics is phenomenal and he knows how to deploy people at greatest efficiency, but also he's got a nosy toddler on his hip who keeps offering his own insane-but-competent ideas. - General Kenobi ends up with a Council Seat just on account of, like, being the kind of person he is. As often as not, he's got Anakin tucked into his robes, chewing on the ear of a stuffed tooka or something.

IDK what Shmi's doing but apparently Legends had it that some of the administrative and support positions in the Temple were held by non-Jedi civilians? So probably something like that.

GENERAL KENOBI LECTURING PADAWAN MAUL WHILE ANAKIN'S BALANCED ON HIS HIP AND GLARING AT MAUL FOR STEALING HIS DAD

General Kenobi: Ahsoka's babysitting. Anakin: I'm her master, I don't need babysitting, this is-- General Kenobi: Fine, then you need supervision, so that you don't blow up a training salle again. Anakin: And you think Ahsoka would stop me? General Kenobi, eye twitching: Fine, I'm leaving you with Plo.

Even if he’s mentally an adult Anakin always needs supervision Look at canon! Anakin was left without supervision for like two days and he became a Sith

Quinlan gets distracted by how attractive General Kenobi is and tells Obi-Wan "dude, you're gonna be so hot once you can get rid of the stupid haircut" and Obi-Wan pushes him into the nearest pond.

They end up with this weird "Uncle Jango" situation (uncle to Anakin, via weird brotherhood-ish to Cody) because Rex and Cody are just like "Uhhhhhhhhh yeah okay" about him eventually, and Jango just like. Drops by. Trying to Earn Affection Of Blood Kin by bringing weird gifts for them and their (ugh) Jedi.

"Okay, Rex'ika, I stopped by Shili--" "What?" "--and apparently this is a delicacy there, so just... your girlfriend will like it." "She's not my girlfriend." "..." "Okay, I can't call her my girlfriend. Jedi have rules about that sort of thing, and--" "This will make your Jedi happy, probably. Just take it, kid."

Baby Anakin got his arm back but for some inexplicable reason still has The Eye Scar. He matches Buir.

🖤 Non-obvious tips for babybats / new goths 🖤part 2

Hi! Seems like part 1 of this actually helped some people (here it is), so I want to add some more tips.

My academy is closed yet again due to the virus, so I had a bit more time to stay on social media and browse the goth hashtags and now I have some thoughts. Here they are.

1. I'm a big fan of tattoos, like many people are nowadays, obviously tattoo world has it's trends. There were tribals, geometric watercolor pastel wolves, occult motives, the infamous forest sleeve that "everyone has" (I literally never saw it on anyone irl), swallows, infinity signs, now we see a trend called ignorant tattoos, with it's often vulgar motives, dark humor and rather grungey aesthetic. I don't really have an opinion on these, some of them are dope, but I've read an interview with one of Poland's most famous ignorant tattoo artist, who said his main demographic are people from 18 to 25 years old. And sure, I'm in that age group myself - 22. My internet mate has one of these, depicting a can of her favourite beer.

My tip is simple: think before you get a tattoo. An ignorant one or not. Try to stay away from trends, choose an artist that you really like (AND HAS A LICENCE), talk to them about your idea and LISTEN TO THEM! They know their tattoos.

On the other hand, remember that not every tattoo has to have the most philosophical and intellectual meaning on planet Earth. Things that matter to you are the way to go, don't search for somenting that is "intellectual" if you don't connect with it. I have three tattoos, a simple kanji for Tsuki (Moon), after The Mortal's song Tsuki, a panel from Pet Shop of Horrors, because, well, it's been my favourite manga for like seven years, and a handpoked sword crossed with a leaf - simply because I liked the design and I like swords. They're cool.

Remember to take care of your tattoos and don't wear Killstar, Punk Rave etc. pieces for a while after getting one, they are mostly made of polyester (plastic) and won't let the skin breathe properly. Synthetic lace is also a no, as it's way too scratchy and can give you an awful rash.

I don't have any piercings but I can definitely say, choose a trusty piercer and don't get anything pierced with a gun!

2. Let's talk about expectations! Or the idea of them. Young goths like to prove themselves to the elders, or just more experienced people in the community. I was like that too, I really wanted to be percieved as the gothest goth on the facebook group - I teased my hair, always did the angular trad goth eyeliner, ripped my tights, bought winklepickers, you get it. I had this feeling that everyone in the subculture judged me and gave a score in their head - from one star, barely goth, to five, the ubergoth. But the thing is. No one cares. If they do, it's either because they're a scumbag elitist, not worth even looking at, or met too many people who posed as goths but really weren't - in that case, there's nothing to worry about, as long as you're actually interested in this subculture. There's no need to know everything after a month, no need to tease the hair if you don't want to. Actually, I think being honest with a possible lack of knowledge will be very benifitial, there's nothing more annoying than a teenager trying to convince you they know everything. Just tell the people that you don't know something - they will probably explain it to you and everyone will live happily ever after.

3. This one will be about social media and the disastrous trend of creating cringe compilations. Firstly, don't you dare to watch them and boost the activity. Why? Well, don't they often depict regular people just... enjoying things...? Exactly the way you do. They like ponies, you like Diva Destruction. Both are considered underground, both can be tossed into one of these awful compilations. It's so toxic and screams low self esteem. Lives of people behind the compilations accounts must be fucking miserable.

Think before you publish a photo, video, text post, whatever. Bullying is sadly a thing and can happen to anyone. Luckily I didn't have any serious cyberbullying episodes, buuut, there were no cringe compilations in the early 2010s, we were cringe and proud of it - and it was so cool! People were so geniuine on their blogs, youtube channels, ask.fm profiles... (I was kinda famous on ask.fm actually, it was really cool and I loved that platform a lot.) If you want to share the not so glamorous parts of your life online, create a profile, private it and don't let random people follow it, always look through the accounts. You can have two accounts, one main and one private, for friends.

4. Now to the topic of clubbing. I thought it's obvious but no, people are still people, doing dumb shit. If your country has a lot of covid cases DON'T FUCKING GO CLUBBING! I know we are all bored and wish for the pandemic to finally stop, but let me tell you, breaking all the rules because you desire a dance and low quality alcohol is really really fucking stupid. You're basically shooting yourself in the foot - you go to the rave, catch corona, spread corona, more people are sick, the pandemic goes on because of you, goth venues close one after another. Great job! You fucked all of us up.

God that type of behaviour really annoys me.

Btw feel free to dm me if you're a babybat trying to figure things out, I'm happy to help :)

“it all comes down to the soul(s) in the end”: or, characters make the story work, and not the other way around

outing myself yet again as a dabb era critical blog here but. i just think the difference between carver era and dabb era is that carver era was character-arc driven while dabb era was overarching-main-plot driven with some good character moments thrown in (which may be to do with the fact that - iirc - during carver era for a while they didn’t know if they’d get renewed so they couldn’t plan too far ahead and just progressed the story by increments, as opposed to dabb era knowing they had a longer time frame to work with and deciding the plot beforehand). 

the thing is, i think most of us can agree that after the kripke era - which, for all its flaws and setbacks (hello writers’ strike), had a self-contained myth arc involving both an internally coherent narrative and certain well-defined character beats - and going into the gamble “hot girl summer but make it angst” era, the appeal of supernatural relies largely on the characters. it has to, because for a show to keep running after 6-7 seasons, you have to be invested not just in the story/stories being told, but in the people driving the story forward. it simply won’t work otherwise.

and - to my perception at least - the carver era (perhaps largely due to ben edlund’s imprint in s8, lbr) knew that. some examples of what i mean:

it gave dean an arc about dealing with the toxicity of his upbringing and his unhealthy attachment to sam, as well as starting to explore other meaningful relationships for himself (benny, charlie, and of course him continuously reaching out to cas) - essentially it allowed dean to confront that he wanted things. 

it gave sam an arc about dealing with his trauma re: demon blood, and having to confront what it means to be good, how he always felt impure through no fault of his own - and it shifted him over into accepting that his calling in life is as a keeper of lore and mentor to other people, by contrasting the failure of the sam/amelia relationship with him finding the bunker and discovering a different part of the hunting world

it forced cas to confront what he wants for himself, by making him deal with his own changing nature (being human, then an angel again, and the whole arc about living on borrowed grace), and with the other angels falling and what that meant for him; he got the chance to be on his own and be with the winchesters, to both make mistakes and be a leader to other angels - and then give up that leadership by choice because he prioritised his human family to his reputation in heaven (which should have been a clear indication of endgame human cas but i digress)

it brought in compelling new characters - primarily charlie and kevin, though they were both horrendously mistreated by bucklemming writing them off - claire novak as an angry teenager, aaron and his golem, metatron as a fascinatingly meta (ha) antagonist, rowena as a frenemy, and gave old characters compelling story beats (crowley and his “humanity addiction”). also, it had writers like robbie thompson who were attuned to the fan community in an unprecedented way.

with the dabb era, i feel like because they’d set their mind on where the story was going (e.g.: killing dean, having a new and “better” god in place, giving sam a white picket fence ending) they didn’t really care if they had to break the protagonists’ characterisation to get us there. we still had moments of great characterisation - steve yockey episodes first and foremost, and of course robert berens carrying the dean/castiel beats - but mostly, characterisation came second to what the story would need. this is how we get dean winchester, friend and protector to kids everywhere, being A-Okay with sacrificing a kid he supposedly cares about, not once but several times over, because the plot needed Emotional Stakes™️.

(and this, by and large, is my issue with jack as a character too, because he spends so much of his time on the show so clearly being a plot device - a literal deus ex machina - that he ends up being not very compelling to me. “but baby jack!” i hear you say. and yes, yes, he’s cute and i like him, but listen -- his characterisation reads as a blank slate because ultimately that’s what the narrative needs from him - and there’s a whole separate post i could make on that, really). 

but i think the main problem is that the endgame the dabb era had in mind conflicted openly with the stakes they had set up in the carver era - and that the most attuned writers kept up with even in seasons 12-15, which is why the finale felt as stridently wrong as it did (other than being ridiculously badly written). by which i mean:

dean was set up as wanting something more for himself, more than hunting and violence, and we see that in moments - but it’s not what he ends up getting. additionally, he spends so much of seasons 8-10 breaking down his toxic traits, and then bam - suddenly, he’s turned into john 2.0, because the story demands it. 

sam was set up to become a new kind of hunter, one with a men of letters background, and find happiness in the life - so you get a side plot where he successfully organises and leads a group of hunters - but ultimately he leaves all that behind and abandons the bunker (and eileen, his natural companion going forward). 

cas was set up as choosing humanity over heaven because that’s where he wants to be, and choosing to become a hunter because he wants to be useful and do good - but that gets boiled down to “cas is still an angel but now he’s Also A Dad and that’s his one purpose in life now” (i’m sorry, i am not here for the hot take of “jack is good for cas because he can’t just revolve around dean”. first of all, that’s a disservice to cas’s character over the seasons, and second of all-- oh but it’s ok for cas to just revolve around jack? it don’t make no cents luv!)

i don’t think story-driven eras are inherently bad. i enjoyed seasons 1-5, but they take place when we’re still getting to know the characters; and there is a certain evolution for them there that you may like or dislike, but it makes narrative sense for them. but if you decide to go forward into a new era with well-established and beloved characters, you have to know who the characters are and what they want or your story will always ring hollow. the main problem i have with the dabb era is that it decided the story it wanted to tell - and didn’t stop to consider whether the characters living it out would actually organically fit into it. and isn’t that chuck’s whole mistake?