Mute

Pairing:Newt x gender neutral reader

Summary:As someone who struggles with selective mutism, you are surprised when Best still more than wants to know you.

This place was strange to say the least. Something about it made me uneasy. Of course I never actually said anything like that. It could just be a reaction to everything we've gone through.

My definite biggest reaction was that I would go mute for hours on end at times. Something would happen that would remind me of my Maze or overwhelm me, and I'd shut down. The people that had been with me there tried to be understanding, but a lot of my friends who actually had been were gone. Now I was always alone.

Today I was one of the three people left in my Maze. This has sent me into nothing but internal panic. So much so that I hadn't said a word since I woke up. It's dinner time. That's how bad it is.

Luckily I found a spot in the corner a while ago where nobody else sat. That didn't stop the few whispers though. I learned to tune them out a while ago.

"Hi,"Somebody said, surprising me. I nervously glanced up to see a boy from a new Maze. He had neat blonde hair and warm brown eyes. All the while he stood there with a bright smile.

"Can I sit with you?"He asked. I nodded my head, and he slid across from me. "I'm Newt,"He introduced. I held out my hand which he shook. If he found this odd he didn't say anything.

"What's your name?"He asked. No matter how bad I wanted to tell him I still felt like I couldn't speak. It was like my vocal chords shut down.

"Are you mute?"He finally asked. I put my hand up in a so-so motion. "Okay. You could sign your name,"He suggested.

Subtly glancing around I slowly spelled out each letter as he repeated them out loud. Once I confirmed the letter was right we'd move on to the next one.

"Y/N. Is it pronounced like that?"He asked. I nodded my head again.

"You have a pretty name. It suits you,"He complimented.

For the first time throughout the entire day I felt myself smile. When I found my voice again I'd make sure to tell him I liked his name just as much.

hi, I am going to be an incoming freshman in the fall and i want to study japanese but i don’t have a lot of experience with the language.. what are some tips you have for a beginner in the language ?

Good luck with your freshman year! Here's some advice I thought of that might help you:

The biggest tip I have for someone starting out is to learn hiragana and katakana first. You can learn it incrementally, or all at once (each method works better for different people!), but the sooner you can read kana and don't need to rely on romaji (romanized spellings of Japanese words), the better. In my experience it helps with overall pronunciation skills and reading speed to really get kana down strong!

If you have language gen ed requirements you need to fulfill or want to minor/major in Japanese and want to/plan to take Japanese classes your university offers, my next tip would be to find what textbook they use and give it a look! Some universities won't list the textbooks you'll use until pretty late in the summer, but they'll show up eventually. I think it's always a good idea to flip through the textbook you'll be using before the semester actually starts (even if you're just reading through the sample pages websites offer) so you have an idea of how much time you'd need to give yourself to do assigned readings if they appear or other things like that. With language textbooks specifically, I think it also helps show you if this textbook works well with the way you learn language! A lot of textbooks will be different, sometimes in pretty subtle ways, with how they teach material. It may be helpful for you to see how info is presented in your school's chosen textbook so you (roughly) know in advance if you'll need to find supplemental material or ask a lot of questions in class because of how the textbook is written.

Also, whether you're taking formal classes or not: don't be afraid to ask questions! Don't be afraid to ask questions during lectures if you're confused, don't be afraid to reach out to others who are studying the language if you're self-studying and need help, etc.! Nobody is going to care, and if people do, that's a them problem. There's never anything wrong with reaching out to people for help, and most people love to help others! Learning is easier when it's collaborative, trying to do everything alone is hard; even if you only talk to TAs and professors and never your classmates, that's better than trying to do everything by yourself! Although I would recommend at least trying to find classmates you fit in with and working with them.

Don't be afraid of speaking because you have an accent. I know tons of people who avoid practicing speaking because they're embarrassed about their accent or how they can't pronounce a certain sound exactly right or anything else like that. Don't let that hold you back! If your pronunciation is terrible, how will it improve if you don't practice? And everyone has an accent! There's no such thing as unaccented speech, so don't feel ashamed just because your accent is more "noticeable" than somebody else's. If you can't pronounce a certain sound in the language, that's fine! If you grew up learning a language where that sound literally doesn't exist, it'll be hard (and in some cases impossible) for you to pronounce that new sound! And that's completely fine! You shouldn't hold yourself back from learning and practicing because of something like that. People will still understand you if you're making an effort, even if you can't pronounce that one sound. It's okay to not sound perfect. It's okay to not sound like a native speaker. You're learning.

Other tips I have for Japanese specifically:

If you're self-paced or looking for extra material, put keigo (formal/honorific language) on a back burner. You don't need it immediately, and in Japan people are generally going to be very forgiving about keigo mistakes as long as you're behaving in a respectful way (even native Japanese speakers mess up keigo! It's like, a key part of the job-hunting process for lots of new college grad-aged Japanese people to make keigo mistakes- it's associated with being young, haha). It shouldn't be your top priority, and it'll be easier to learn when you know a lot of the grammar that keigo expands on.

Practice reading and writing often! Kanji are very much "use it or lose it", so it's a good idea to find fun ways to practice reading and writing so you can stay consistently exposed to the ones you know. Most textbooks will have you write Kanji several times after learning them and then do some reading/writing practice with full phrases as well, but make sure you keep up with using them after you learn them or they'll just evaporate from your mind.

Practice speaking and listening often, too, but don't get too worried about perfect pitch accent when you first begin! Japanese is a language with a pitch accent- it isn't tonal like Cantonese or Mandarin, but words will have a specific pitch structure. You'll likely hear this when you listen to native speakers, especially if you're specifically listening for it, but when you're a complete beginner you don't have to worry about it. It starts coming more naturally later on, and it's easier to practice it when you have a strong grammar/vocab foundation. Some people say it's super important because the pitch is the only way to tell homophones apart but... People aren't stupid. People understand context. No one is going to assume you meant to say something that makes no sense, when you could've said something that makes complete sense. People may ask you to repeat yourself, or you might encounter a couple of rude people who intentionally misunderstand you, but generally, people are going to understand what you meant to say based on the context. Don't worry about it when you're still learning how to say "good morning"

I hope those pieces of advice help! I know many of them were more about mental hurdles with language learning than they were about objective aspects of Japanese, but those were the important things that came to mind, haha. Feel free to ask me or anybody else in the Japanese langblr community for more help if you have specific things on your mind!

What is the Significance of Employee Retention & what Strategies can be used for the same?

Employee Retention is the method used by the administration to help the workers stay with the group for an extended time. Employee Retention plans motivate the workers so that they stick to the organization for the maximum spell and contribute successfully. Honest efforts are made to confirm growth and learning for the workers in their existing projects and for them to relish the work they are doing. Employee retention is a major concern for businesses at present. Persons once skilled have a leaning to move to other establishments for healthier projections. Profitable salary, relaxed timings, improved ambiance, and development prospects are some of the aspects which make a worker look for a change. Every time a capable worker shows his inclination to move on, it is the duty of the administration and the HR team to interfere instantly and find out the precise motives leading to the pronouncement. Let us see why retaining a respected worker is important for the organization. - Hiring isn’t a slipshod procedure: HR selects a few people from a big pool of flair and talent, conducts initial meetings, and ultimately forwards it to the corresponding line bosses who further interview them to judge whether they are fit for the organization or otherwise. Employing the correct applicant is a time-consuming as well as expensive process. - An organization devotes resources to preparing an individual and making him work-ready and understand the local culture: A new entrant is totally fresh and the organization really has to work hard to prepare him for his complete growth. It is a comprehensive consumption of time and cash when a worker leaves an organization immediately. The HR has to initiate the staffing procedure all over for the same opening; a mere repetition of effort. Finding the right worker for an organization is a monotonous job and all labors go waste when the worker leaves. - When anyone resigns, it is all more likely that he is going to join the competitors: When this happens, workers take all the plans, and strategies from the existing organization to the new one. People take all the significant information, data, and figures to their new organization. Sometimes, they leak the secrets of the earlier organization. To avoid this, it is important that the new entrant is made to sign a non-disclosure agreement, which halts him from passing on any info even if he resigns and moves on. A firm rule should be in place which stops the staff to join the rivals. This is an efficient way to hold onto the workers. - The longer-serving employees are more acquainted with the company’s rules, and strategies and so they adjust better: They perform improved than people who change offices and jobs regularly. Workers who spend a significant time in a certain office know it in and out and thus contribute more efficiently. - Every person requires time to fine-tune with others: Time is needed to ascertain and to coworkers well, be sociable with them, and finally have faith in them. Organizations benefit when the workers are well-suited to each other and deliberate matters among themselves. This way they pop up with something useful for everyone. When a new worker replaces a present worker, fine-tuning issues crop up. People find it really problematic to start a coziness level with the new person. After striking a bond with a present employee, it is a trial for the workers to change with somebody new and most significantly believe him. It is a social tendency to compare a new joiner with the earlier workers and to find issues in him. - People with an organization for an extended span are more loyal to the administration: They enjoy all benefits from the organization and as a consequence, are more devoted to it. They hardly criticize their organization and continuously ponder in favor of the administration. For them, the office is primary and all other things are secondary in nature. - The valuable employees showing potential must be retained: All businesses need reliable and gifted workers who can conjure something imaginative and changed. No business can endure if all the top doers leave. It is vital for the business to retain those hard workers who are necessary for the organization. The organization must know the variance between a valued worker and a worker who doesn’t do much for the organization. Genuine hard work must be done to inspire the workers so that they stay content in the existing organization and don’t seek a change. Strategies that are used for retaining employees When you meet somebody, there is barely any attachment in the commencement, but as the bond develops, a sense of faithfulness and belief grows. In the same manner, when someone spends a considerable time with an organization, he gets warmly fused to it and attempts hard for advancing the brand image of the same. The administration can’t totally put a halt to the course of workers leaving their jobs but can regulate it to a large degree. Let me show you some approaches to retaining a person: - People seek change because of monotony on the job. The challenges are choked. People must enjoy what they do. The work delegated to them must be as per their specialization and interests. This is the responsibility of the team leader to allocate thought-provoking work to his team associates. This will enable them to enjoy work and not treat it as a load. Performance appraisals are central to knowing whether the workers are really content with their work or otherwise. - Persistent quarrels among workers make them seek change. Fights must be evaded to uphold the dignity of the office and also to sidestep the spreading pessimism everywhere. Encourage doings that bring the workers nearer. Organize outside picnics, and casual get-togethers for the workers to know each other better and reinforce the bond among them. Let them make friends at the office whom they can really have faith in. Relationship among workers is one solid factor that helps to hold onto workers. People who have dependable groups at the office are unwilling to move on for the sake of their relationships at work. No one leaves an organization where he gets spiritual harmony. It is important to have a pleasant atmosphere at the office. - HR must safeguard that it is employing the correct applicant. Mismatches cause frustration. A finance expert if hired for a marketing outline would end up being irritated and will seek a change. The right applicant must be employed for the correct job. While drafting a new applicant, one should scrutinize his previous record. A person who has changed his prior jobs often would also not stick to the existing one and so should not be hired. - Recognized employees stay the longest: Appreciation spurs the workers all the time. Their solid work must be recognized. Financial benefits such as enticements, bonuses, and cash prizes inspire the workers to a great extent and they desire to stay with the organization. The doers must have an edge and should get preferential treatment from the administration. - Performance appraisals are important for workers to stay driven and not seek a change. The income hike should be directly compared to the hard work put in by the workers. Bias must be avoided. It dispirits the gifted ones and prompts them to look elsewhere. - Salary must be discussed and decided during the interview. The break-up of the income must be clear and thoroughly deliberated with the people at the time of joining. This will avoid confusion later. The people should be onboarded once the salary and all terms and conditions are agreeable to both sides. - The company’s guidelines and principles should be to benefit the workers. All rules must be employee-friendly. Give them birthday leaves and late-coming margins once or twice a month. It is significant for the administration to comprehend the workers to gain their faith and confidence. Reliable operators must have a say in the business’s choices for them to feel included and important.     Read the full article

From a linguistics perspective, if your name has sounds or sound patterns that are not English, native English speakers are gonna have a rough time with it.

And like, when people use examples of things that have like spelling that maybe doesn't line up with English as examples that everyone is learning to say these hard words, you're wrong. Tchaikovsky maybe looks hard to say written down, but the sounds and sound patterns in there seem pretty in line with English even if the spelling doesn't.

Are there instances where it's literally just racism? Yes. Absolutely. If someone is pretending they can't pronounce Latisha, yeah, they're just being racist. But otherwise, your name might literally be difficult for English speakers to say.

Native Spanish speakers aren't good with my name because of the soft i sound.

I will never be able to pronounce Xhosa properly. I literally say chosa. Some people say kosa. Heard skosa. Heard somebody say ex-osa once tho, and that was weird. Because in Xhosa, the X represents a click sound not anything similar to the sounds it represents in English.

I think I pronounce Ngozi right. I think I do. The Ng is similar (I wanna say the same but I could be wrong) as the ng in sing. Which, clearly, I can say sing. But it does not go at the front of a word in English. It's kinda hard to say there. But sound pattern differences fascinate me so much that I kept saying it over and over and eventually it sounded right to me.

Shoot Your Shot

I found this meme and it screamed Cray Cray Erik so I chose to try my hand at this lol

Erik Stevens x Kesia (pronounced Kee-sa) Mannor (OC)

“Baaabe you know I gotta find a new outfit for my promotion party! I must’ve looked in my closet a million times and I couldn’t find anything!” Kesia was on facetime with her boyfriend of six months, Erik Stevens. When they first got together, she didn’t know much about him, except for he was in the Navy for six years before getting out and whilst enlisted he got his bachelors and master  degrees in Engineering. He kept information about himself simple with Kesia.

“Girl, you look amazing in whatever you wear! Why you gotta go up to that mall? You know that’s where all them thirsty ass niggas be at.” Erik protests. Kesia rolls her eyes, “Aye! What I tell you about rolling your eyes at me?!” Erik’s face goes stoic. It sends a chill down Kesia’s spine as she immediately responds, “Don’t do it.” He nods, “Exactly.” “I’ll only be gone for an hour, I’ll be back at my house and you can see me try it on!” “You got 59 minutes, babygirl. Make em count!”

--

Kesia puts the finishing touches on her makeup as Erik admires her from her bed, “Damn baby, you sure we can’t just celebrate in the crib tonight? I’d make it worth skipping your party...” He saunters over to her and attempts wraps himself around her from the back, she slivers out of his grasp, walking to the kitchen, “Mmm mm! I worked my ass off for this gig, I’m celebrating with my people, and my baaaabyy.. We can do all of that when we’re drunk and back here!” Erik curses under his breath and accepts defeat. Just as he was about to sit back down on Kesia’s bed, her phone rings. It’s an unknown Oakland number. Erik knows everything about Kesia so he knows she doesn’t leave numbers unsaved. He yells towards the kitchen, “Keeee! Who’s calling you from this unknown number?!” 

Kesia freezes in her tracks, “Uhhh.. idk baby. Maybe a telemarketer.” Erik twists his lip, “Hmph.” His “spidey senses” as Kesia loved to put it, were tingling. He always knew when something wasn’t right.. She blames it on his deployments and overall lack of trust in people. He accepts the incoming call.

“Yeee, ay wassup shorty! This Dontay, dude from the mall earlier! Sorry it took me a few to call you, I had a few errands to run. But you free tonight?” Kesia scurries into her room once she hears the stranger’s voice. Erik shakes his head at her and hangs up the phone. “I told you about them thirsty ass niggas at the mall!”

DING! DING!

Her phone lights up as an incoming text pops up from the unsaved contact, Kesia reaches toward Erik for her phone, he raises it above his head and out of her reach, “Nah. You need not worry about this phone tonight. Finish getting dressed.” She pouts as she sits down to put her heels on.

--

Kesia has been entertaining all of her loved ones since she arrived at her promotion party Erik put together for her at a new Reggae club in downtown Oakland called New Karibbean City. Erik has purposefully been apart from her the entire time, yet he has her phone on lock. It doesn’t help that his face unlocks it as well. Kesia has seen enough of him typing away on her phone so she sneaks away from the party as she sees him heading to the restrooms.

“E!” He turns around, “Ke?” He responds in the same tone as her, “Can I have my phone back?” He looks up in the air as if he’s thinking about it, then he hands it to her from his pants pocket. She unlocks it and doesn’t see a trace of the unknown number. Not in the call history or text messages. She raises her eyebrow, “Erik Stevens.. What did you do?” he shrugs, “I didn’t do anything” He embraces his girlfriend as he congratulates her, “I’m proud of you Ke. You really did work hard for the promotion. I’ll see you when you get to the house. The key still under that plant on the porch?” Kesia looks confused, “Uh.. yeah. Where are you going?” Erik lets out a deep, yet scary laugh, “The less you know..” He gives her a long, deep kiss on her red stained lips, then leaves out the back door.

--

Kesia gets out of her Uber, stumbling to her door. She struggles to unlock her door and get in her dark house, thinking her boyfriend is already sleeping. “Good, I don’t gotta get yelled at tonight. I was NOT tryna hear--” “Hear what, princess?” Erik’s brassy voice comes from the far corner of her living room, Kesia jumps, “SHIT ERIK! Why you standing over there in the damn dark?” Erik ignores Kesia’s inquiry, takes a seat on the couch, whilst grabbing the remote control. “Come, sit.” Kesia does as she’s told.

Erik turns on the television then changes the channel to 2.

“Good evening Oakland! This is Noah Clark for your 10PM News on DWOL Channel 2. BREAKING NEWS from the Eastmont Hills area. Covering the story is our reporter, Rebecca Moore, Rebecca? What do ya have?”

There’s a pregnant pause as the reporter listens in for the host’s question, “Yes, I am here on the corner of 79th Avenue and Hillside Street where this home that you see behind me, has been riddled with bullets around 8:45 this evening. Police that arrived on the scene believes that two to three suspects drove past this residence and unloaded shots from tactical T-91 assault rifles. Our Oakland PD SWAT doesn’t even have these in their possession. A witness who seems to live in this home, tells us what happened.” The program transitions to an interview that was recorded slightly earlier to a familiar face, “Yeah, so.. I was waiting on this girl I just met to pull up on me. I was on the porch. Next thing I know, my dog started barking from the back yard. As soon as I turned to see what she was barking at, I hear shots. I duck down for cover! I don’t know who could’ve done this. I don’t got no enemies.” The sound fades out as Rebecca’s voice forms in the background, “Twenty nine year old Dontay Phillips lives in this southeast Oakland home with his bedridden grandmother who was stirred awake by the 57 shots let off by these military grade weapons. Luckily no one was shot in the melee of gunfire, but it sure did shake Phillips up.” Dontay’s voice pans back in, “I’m grateful to the lord above me and my granny still here.”

Kesia watches the tv in awe. She cannot believe that Erik shot up Dontay’s grandmother’s house, She looks up at her conniving boyfriend, “How did yo--” He slips his hand in between her thighs where her phone rested and holds it up, “I told you.. the less you know..” Kesia slaps his arm, “You could’ve killed them!” “Ke, you know if I wanted Dontay dead, he would’ve been dead. I ain’t know he lived in his grandma house. He flexed to m---to you that he lived alone.” “Waiit.. He did what now?” Erik explains that while you were keeping your friends and family company, he was texting Dontay telling him that you were free for the night, plans got canceled. He sent you--Erik his address and told you--him.. that he lives alone. “He’s lucky I just wanted to scare his bitch ass. If I wanted to kill him, him and his granny would’ve been gone..” Erik cuts the TV off then stares at you.. awaiting for a response. “Why are they saying there were multiple assault rifles? You got somebody to do this crazy shit with you?” Erik flashes his bottom fangs as he cheeses at her odd question, “I got three of those bad bitches! I call em Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup.” Kesia rolls her eyes at his names for his guns that could’ve killed some guy you had no intentions of even getting to know. “I just switched em out every 20 or so rounds.. each one got a different serial number on the shells.. all of em are impossible to track.”

Kesia stares at him for a spell, then she bursts out laughing. “Okay so you CRAZY CRAZY? Got it!” Erik protests, “Uhh uh. I told you about them thirsty ass niggas. You had the audacity to give that sucka ass nigga yo number.. I had to regulate. Oh, and I blocked his number after I deleted the text thread and his call.” With that, Erik gets up and snatches his shirt off. That makes Kesia gasp with a hint of a moan. Erik’s ears perk up after hearing it, “So you coming to bed baby? Let’s finish celebrating that promotion.” Kesia grabs his hand and leads him to her bedroom while shaking her head at her crazy boyfriend, “Let’s.”

--

Hope you all like it! I know I’m rusty as shit but hopefully requests will roll in and I can get back in the swing of things. 

@chaneajoyyy​ What my favorite librarian think about it?!

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

Lawlight in Hogwarts AU, please ❤️❤️❤️ Maybe visiting Hogsmeade?

Sorry for the wait! It’s been crazy days and you know how much I love Hogwarts AU’s so I wanted to do this right.

That being said, hope you enjoy ❤️

////////////

Word count: 1,316

"I take back what I said, I'm not going to miss you and I'm certainly not going to miss you pulling these ridiculous stunts on me." 

"You're such a bore, Light. Believe me, I didn't want to be tied to a sniveling self-important schoolboy either, but we can't help what hell likes to throw at us sometimes."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Light didn't snivel! "I'm starting to think you made this binding spell on purpose. I don't know why yet, but I'm not going to follow you to France just so you have somebody to talk to." 

"You really are such an arrogant prick, Light. I hope by the time you leave this school, people come to realize that."  

Light, offended but too tired to continue arguing, sighed and threw his head back on the sofa. They were both sitting in Slytherin's Common Room, after three days of being bound at the wrist together and having to rely on all kinds of lies and schemes to avoid anyone finding out. The sole person responsible for their current predicament? Oh yes, none other than the plague of Light’s life ever since having entered the wizarding school, and one of the most talented students it’d had in recent years. 

And yet he was utterly incapable of undoing his own hex.

“I need some air,” Light declared and after a few minutes of further bickering, they were both walking the few yards to Hogsmeade. 

*°*°*°*°* 

“There are many things I’m going to miss from this place, but Honeydukes has to be at the top of the list,” L remarked, greedily sucking on a liquorice wand the way a young calf would it's mom's udder. Light grimaced, but a cold, tiny needle bore into the center of his chest at such a well-known sight. The school year was about to end, and with it L's time as a Hogwarts student. Light had been feeling nostalgic as the fateful day approached and had invited L for a night escapade to the Room of Requirements, where between silly magic duels and more beer than either of them had intended to take, L had confused two spells and ended up tying them together as they were now, through an invisible chain that couldn't be longer than six feet. 

"They're going to lose a significant amount of their income once you're gone," Light pointed out, meaning for it to sound mocking but betraying an unintended wistfulness behind his words. 

"At least someone is going to miss me," L replied, only barely lifting his lips from the candy to pronounce the words, dramatic as they were. Light stopped in his tracks and eventually, the chain’s strain had the soon-to-be Hogwarts alumnus turn to face him with a curious look. 

“You know I was only angry because of the absurd situation you put us in. I wasn’t actually… I mean, I’ll…” This didn’t come as easily without alcohol. “It’s… going to be weird not to have you around.” 

The rascal’s only response was to regard him with a wide, impish grin, at which Light reacted with a roll of his eyes. Of course L would trick him into saying stuff like that, L’s only purpose was to obfuscate Light and confuse him with those big eyes and that kicked puppy act he had so well-polished. Light was about to dignifiedly walk past him when he felt the chain tugging at his wrist in another direction. L had begun to trot towards the Three Broomsticks, but instead of going through the door like Light had expected him to, he made a turn to the side and directed them to the back of the store, where there stood an apple tree surrounded by its dramatic June drop. 

“What’s gotten into you? I told you not to drag me like that.” 

“I have something for you.” 

“And why did you bring us here?” Light asked with less irritation now that he knew there was something for him. 

“I wanted some privacy,” L shrugged and from his cloak’s pocket he took out a small package wrapped like a gift in violet paper. 

Light took it from L’s thin hands, not looking at him as his heart hammered against his ribcage with every unwrapped bit of paper. Finally, he revealed a small crystal ball resting over a howlite base, but the beautiful white gemstone wasn’t what captured his attention; there was a glowing, silver animal inside the ball, and Light recognized it immediately as a miniature version of L’s Patronus. An Anglo-French Hound shook it’s tiny tail as it leaned on the rounded crystal surface facing Light. It barked soundlessly towards him before circling around the base and finally resting at the center, Light was taken aback by how angelic he found the whole development. 

“I admit I needed help making it, but I’ve tested it and it works just fine. It’s… nothing very useful as it barely has any of the power of an actual Patronus Charm, I’m afraid. But I’ve made it so you can summon this one by merely saying my name. At least, if you ever find yourself so morose that the sight of my dog might animate you. It's not your fox because I wouldn't have been able to make it myself. If you want your own one you'll have to ask Linda about it, but I thought it might be a nice remember-me-by present, and it also--" 

"It's lovely, L," Light interrupted to save L from babbling to death. 

"I wasn't finished yet." 

"I thought you were just rambling." 

L shook his head and breathed in through his nose. 

"It appears that it also sometimes makes an appearance on its own, if I'm thinking about you." 

There was a tightness in his throat now that wouldn't be easy to dissimulate, and he was about to make a joke about him now knowing if L ever forgot about him, but he desisted from it. Instead, he diverted his attention to a smaller, cylindrical wrapping that had come inside the bigger one. Unprepared for another shock of emotions without a proper warning, he asked L what it was this time.  

"Oh, that's just a quill," his friend answered. "I just took--bought it!--from Scrivenshaft's, in case you didn't care for the ball." 

"You just stole this from Scrivenshaft's" 

"I left the money where they'll find it. I couldn't just buy your gift if you were going to see it." 

Light couldn't help but laugh quietly as he unwrapped the second gift. It was indeed an elegant black pheasant quill with a golden nib and a red, pointy tip. It was just his style, and he was touched that L would go out of his way to buy him something he was sure he’d like, despite finding his worries that he may not like the most personal gift of the two rather unjustified. 

“It’s beautiful, too, L. Thank you,” he said honestly with a smile, and if L noticed the strain in his voice, he didn't mention it, and only smiled back. 

By the time they began to walk back towards the castle, dusk had already settled across the town, painting the sky in soft pink hues, and the magic chain remained an unyielding presence around their wrist with no indication of a prompt disappearance. 

"Maybe you'll actually have to leave for France with me," L suggested unhelpfully. 

"Or you'll repeat seven year." Light countered, to which L shrugged. "We still have two days to figure it out. We've gotten out of worse ones before, there's no need to fret." They probably hadn't been trying hard enough.  

"Two days," L repeated for no reason. 

"Yeah," Light stared ahead at the castle, by now the only spot of warm candle light in a world of black and blue. "Two days." 

The remaining of the walk was spent in silence.

Sugar & Spice

For @ubiquitous-girl

"We have frozen naan bread at home."

"We have water at home," Loki countered, tipping his chin at Stephen's glass. 

"Loki, we can't not drink water when eating out."

"And yet you're arguing the soundness of eating bread, a staple of your diet." 

"You're the one who keeps saying we Earth people need to expand our palate beyond the conventional," Stephen grumbled. "I’m all for supporting the local food scene, I just don't see the point of ordering something we can make at home."

"Oh I doubt that very much," Loki said dryly. "You burned my toast this morning."

Stephen's lips twitched as he tried not to smile. Finding himself on the verge of failing, he held the menu closer to his face to hide his failure. "It wasn't my fault. I got distracted."

"Really? By what?" Loki asked innocently.

Stephen shrugged. "I'd rather not say. Can't play favourites."

Loki's eyebrows rose to meet his hairline. "Favourites?"

"With all your...endowments."

At the extremely pleased look on Loki's face, Stephen braced himself for Loki's natural confidence to start singing self praises but to Loki's credit, none came forth.

Whenever Loki's silence lasted long enough for his smile to turn sad like that, Stephen knew that was his cue. 

"Let's order. I'm starving." Stephen picked up the menu again and flipped through it hastily. "What's our protein of choice for tonight? Chicken tikka again?"

Loki made a face. "We could have made that at home, helped ourselves to one of Wong's frozen dinners like we did last week."

Stephen froze. "That was you?"

"He didn't seem to mind."

Stephen set the menu on the table with a laugh of disbelief, "Loki, that's stealing."

"I replace everything I take," Loki said with a flippant shrug. "Your underdeveloped palates just couldn't tell the difference." 

He closed his menu with a loud clapping sound. "I'm not in the mood for meat." 

"We can go somewhere else?" 

"No, no. I know what I want." Loki was about to scratch the air to catch their server's attention when he paused. "Do you?"

Stephen allowed his shoulder to relax, relieved for once that he was spared the burden of ordering. Half the things on the menu he could not even pronounce. "Surprise me."

“It’s your funeral, Strange.” Loki raised his hand. “Excuse me, Miss?”

A server approached the table, grinning from ear to ear. “Are we ready to order?”

Loki gave the young lady his most charming smile in return. "Yes. We will have the chana masala, paneer tikka, aloo gobi and...naan. Lots and lots of naan, please."

"Plain, butter or garlic, Sir?" 

"All three?" Loki looked to Stephen for affirmation but before Stephen could give it, Loki had already made up his mind. "All three."

"Anything else? Drinks?"

"Masala chai for me, please. Stephen?"

"Anything that isn't spiced?"

"Mango lassi?" Loki suggested. 

"Anything that isn't sugary?"

"Salted lassi, then."

Stephen doubted such a drink existed and hence looked at the server to be sure, but she was already writing the order down. 

"This is going to be interesting," Stephen muttered once the waitress was well on her way to the kitchen with their order. 

"You're not going to ask what I ordered?" 

"Something chickpea-y, something cheesy, something potato-ey."

Loki chuckled. "I've never seen you this unimpressed by a meal you haven't eaten yet."

"I trust you," Stephen said. He glanced around at the tables of hungry patrons still awaiting their food. "Just not the waiting time."

"I have a feeling we won't be waiting for very long," Loki said mysteriously.

Stephen blinked a few times. "Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"I can't let my enchantment skills go rusty, Stephen."

Stephen held his hands up in the air. "I don't have a problem with it. I'm used to getting dirty looks from people everytime we eat out."

"People give us dirty looks?" Loki's eyes darted nervously around the crowded restaurant. "Why?"

"Loki, I was just kidding."

"You don't think they recognise me, do you?"

Stephen reached across the table for his lover's hand. "Loki, hey. Calm down."

Loki retrieved his hand rather forcefully to fist clumps of his hair at his temples. "I shouldn't be seen with you."

"Loki…" Stephen groaned.

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted. 

"Do you mind? We're having a private conversation here," Stephen growled.

"You...don't want your food?" The server asked uncertainly. 

Like a mask sliding into place, Loki’s face was once again a facade of charm and joviality. "Of course we do." 

The server began unloading her tray, and with each dish placed in front of them, the enticing scent of spices and aromatics rose in clouds of steam that had Loki’s mouth watering.

"That was fast," Stephen said, surveying the lavish spread in front of him suspiciously.

Loki rolled his eyes. "There is no pleasing you, Doctor."

"The website said this was a fine-dining establishment when I made the reservation," Stephen said, beginning to sound cross. "They'd better not serve us reheated curries, you know how sensitive you are."

"Norns, give me strength..." Loki groaned. "Stephen, the cushions you're sitting on are vintage Mughal-era cushions." He lifted his dinner plate and flicked the edge of it with his fingernail. The ring it made was unmistakably clear. "And this is real bone china."

"Okay. I will reserve my opinions until after I've tasted the food."

"As you should. Everything has to be evidence-based with you, doesn't it?" Loki sassed. 

"You know me so well," Stephen said coolly. Being the methodical and safe man that he was, he decided to start with the dish that appeared the least threatening: the aloo gobi, a classic potato and cauliflower dish.

The curry tasted heavenly, hitting all the right notes with its strong turmeric and coriander game against the equally heavy ginger and cumin aftertaste. 

"They actually made it to order," Stephen said, pleasantly surprised at how fresh and vibrant the dish tasted.

"Poor Stephen," Loki murmured. "You need to go to more restaurants where the chefs aren't quite so lazy."

"Those kinds of restaurants are expensive." 

Stephen ripped into a piece of bread and groaned in pleasure at the first mouthful. It was the fluffiest, butteriest naan he had ever tasted, but when he reopened his eyes, the rapture dissipated. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't make that face," Stephen said, his voice low, his tone flat. "Don't feel sorry for me. I've lived the jetset lifestyle before. I don't miss it."

"I am not feeling sorry for you. If anything, I feel sorry for myself." Ignoring his steaming chai, Loki filled his own glass from the water decanter and drank almost half of it in one gulp. "And just to make things clear between us, I don't miss it either."

Stephen took his time, but when he next spoke, his eyes were a lot kinder. "Sometimes I forget you're a prince."

"Was," Loki corrected. "I am a nobody now."

"Don't say that," Stephen rebuked.

The restaurant chose that exact moment to begin playing music, a soothing, melismatic sitar recital that tugged on the strings of Loki’s heart. He forced himself to smile. "I misspoke." 

He scooped some of the chickpea masala onto a triangle of naan bread and held it out. "Here, try this." 

Stephen saw the chance to salvage the night and opened his mouth to gladly accept the offering, regretting his decision almost instantly.

Loki watched in fascination as Stephen spluttered and changed the colour of his face several times. 

Midgardians were such wondrous, colourful creatures.

“Are you alright, Stephen?” he asked curiously.

Stephen lifted a finger as if to say 'hold on', but Loki was having far too much fun to stop.

"You look very flustered. Not many things can do that to you."

"Only the spiciest pepper on this planet " Stephen gasped. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, very much,” Loki agreed, marveling at the gorgeous flush of Stephen’s face. “Red is a good colour on you.”

“What?” Stephen wiped the sweat out of his eyes. 

“You’re breathtaking.”  

And before Stephen had the chance to react, Loki's lips were already on his.

Just like magic, the burning in Stephen’s mouth and throat receded. 

"Thanks," he mumbled, touching his fingers to his mouth to see if he could still feel them.

"Are your lips still numb?" Loki teased.

"More from the kiss than the spell," Stephen murmured. "Not that I'm complaining, but I thought you said no PDA?" 

"I got distracted," Loki confessed. "You are making it very hard for me to behave in public."

A lascivious grin slowly spread over Stephen's face.

"What?" Loki asked.

"Look around you," Stephen urged.

Loki caught a glimpse out of the corner of his eye of a familiar iridescence. "The Mirror Dimension? So naughty, Doctor." 

"My lips are still numb. It's going to take a lot more than a kiss for me to recover." Stephen grabbed Loki by the waist and hauled his lover into his lap. "Care to help me?"

"What about dinner?"

"We can always get back to it after dessert."

"Hmm," Loki mused.

"Unless...you're not feeling it?" Stephen asked hesitantly.

Loki continued to play idly with Stephen's hair.

"Loki, I won't force you." 

"No, Doctor. You wouldn't."

"Are you disappointed?"

"No." Loki shook his head, his eyes shining. "By the Norns, no. You protect me, and you respect me. Now I don't know why, but..."

Loki held the tip of his finger to Stephen's lips to keep him from interrupting.

"My whole life had me thinking I was not right the way I am." He gazed into the kindest pair of eyes he had ever seen. "You're the first who made me feel differently."

"I don't know if that's enough.”

Loki sighed and touched his forehead to Stephen's. "You make me feel . That is enough."

"You deserve more than enough." Stephen drew in a shaky breath. "You deserve to know how I feel."

"No, I don't - I don't want to know."

"Too bad. You have no choice."

Loki clasped his hands to his ears. "Shut up." 

"You're not a nobody, Loki. You are a somebody who means a lot," Stephen said quietly. "To me."

"Shut up, Stephen."

"I love you, Loki." Stephen's voice cracked. "I love the hell out of you."

"I love you too," Loki said thickly. "So much."

Stephen's heart soared, but there was still something he needed to say,

“So you gotta let me take care of you, okay?" He cupped the sides of Loki’s head. "Will you give me that?”

Loki nodded, wiping his hand across his eyes, but Stephen’s attention was already elsewhere, focused on sliding the first piece of paneer tikka off its skewer. 

Stephen then placed the cube of grilled cottage cheese between his lips, ignoring the spice rub that was already burning holes on his tongue.

“You are going to feed me, aren’t you?” Loki asked, sounding more excited than he had the right to be. 

“Every damn piece,” Stephen promised through a lipful of cheese, and set to work. 

Elite Season 3 Theories Masterpost

Since it was announced this morning that Elite season 3 will be released on Netflix on March 13, along with a short teaser and a lot of promotional photos, I thought I would put them all together in a large post of my predictions for this season. If you don’t want to be spoiled, I’m putting them all under the cut!

Season Theme

Under the date announcement teaser trailer, one of the Netflix youtube accounts listed a new synopsis of the upcoming season--which claims that another one of our beloved Las Encinas students will die, and yet another police investigation ensues. The last two lines also talk about “the future” and “the past.” Other BTS spoilers have indicated that the students will also graduate from Las Encinas, most likely at the end of the season, and for them to move on peacefully, most of them will have to rectify their mistakes from the past 16 episodes. Possible character redemption definitely seems possible, especially for Lu, Valerio, Ander, Cayetana, and others!

Other Plot Points:

The Polo of it All

It appears from this photo that the murder case of Marina Nunier Osuna goes to some type of judicial court. It appears (at least to me) that Carla and Polo are possibly giving their own testimonies of that night that Marina died. Unfortunately, since it’s a he said-she said situation without the murder weapon, Polo will probably be acquitted of all charges for the time being. Certainly helps that he’s a wealthy, white teenager too.

Even if Polo gets acquitted of all charges in Marina’s death for the time being, it appears that his time at Las Encinas won’t get any easier, judging from this photo where he’s seen choking Valerio. Rebeca looks like she’s having a hell of a time trying to get Polo to let go. Other observations that I have is that Polo looks severely unkempt and rougher than usual--probably another sign of his worsening mental state.

Once Polo gets acquitted, I would assume that Guzman then reaches out to Polo to reconnect. He’s offering him a beer, and it looks like they’re playing video games in Guzman’s room again. However, I believe that Guzman has ulterior motives for doing this. He’s going to team up with other students, including Samuel, to find the trophy, and finally get Polo nailed for the death of his sister once and for all. 

A Possible Timeline of Events

Flashforwards: Graduation from Las Encinas (and the Spanish Scooby Gang’s Master Plan)

It for sure looks like this is part of the graduation from Las Encinas. The hallways are decorated, and in the lower right-hand corner by Valerio, it looks like blue and aqua balloons are scattered somewhere. This is where I also became sure that Samuel, Valerio, and Rebeca are for sure going to help Guzman take down Polo and possibly Cayetana for good. Spanish Scooby Gang assemble!

It makes sense that Samuel would help Guzman, as he still feels an intimate connection to his sister, and how he genuinely loved her in some way. While thinking of possible reasons of why Rebeca and Valerio would aid Guzman in his quest, I again circled back to the theme of redemption. Rebe feels guilty that  her mother (and by extension, herself) almost got Samuel killed for involving him in the family business. Valerio feels guilty for the fact that he recorded Nadia and Guzman having sex in the locker room. Helping take down a murderer is certainly on the way for redemption for Valerio, and to get Samuel and Rebeca talking again.

They just gotta get a hold of that missing trophy!

Extended Scooby Gang

The fact that we see Nadia and Rebeca smiling and standing with Lu, who has tormented them in the past, is a clear sign of the season’s theme of looking towards the future, letting go of the past, and ultimately redemption. If Lu helps the Scooby Gang (which would include Nadia and Rebe) take down a murderer to try and absolve her past sins at Las Encinas, it would show a true sign of growth for the character. However, I would like to see her problematic behavior addressed and dealt with before she is completely forgiven. Show, don't tell, how the character has evolved over the course of the season.

Flashforwards: Graduation Party at the Club

After the class graduates, it makes sense that the gang would party together one last time at the club. From this photo, we can see that Omar, Ander, Nadia, Guzman, Rebeca, Cayetana, Valerio, Lu, Samuel, and Carla will all be present at some point. Whatever or whoever they’re looking at offscreen in this photo doesn’t appear welcome. Polo perhaps?

Somebody’s Dying Tonight/The Party is Definitely Over Now

From this photo, it is made clear that someone is not making it out alive of Elite season 3, and the mystery of who it is and why will probably slowly unravel across these next eight episodes. If you zoom in closely on Guzman’s hands, you can see blood on them, which factors into my “who’s dying?” list.

1. Ander - Ander isn’t shown in this photo, which made me immediately suspicious. At the end of season 2, Guzman angrily said to him that he hopes Ander falls and cracks his head open on the ground. Possible foreshadowing for his death? Due to his sorrowful look and his bloody hands, he may regret those words. If Ander dies, it would also make sense to why Omar and Nadia are not present in these photos. Omar is Ander’s boyfriend, and Nadia might be accompanying both of them to the hospital where he’ll be pronounced dead. I do find it hard to believe though that they would fridge a gay man, and one who is a part of the fan-favorite ship of the show. Who knows, however?

2. Lu - Lu’s been a tough character for me to get behind throughout the show’s run. While I do like Danna Paola’s portrayal of her, I certainly don’t condone her actions of bullying, islamophobia, racism, or incest in any form. Getting back on track, she also isn’t seen in this photo, and neither is Valerio, her brother. Lu’s death would also explain Carla’s sorrowful expression, as they used to be best friends. Guzman was also one of her closest friends and her boyfriend at one point, so they once had a deep connection. Omar was also a new friend of Lu’s, so it’s possible that he might have accompanied her to the hospital. Lu’s death might also explain Samuel’s, Rebeca’s, and Cayetana’s look of indifference, as she bullied them all at points in the last two seasons, and their relationships with her were often contentious. Lu’s death may be one way to ultimately redeem the character also.

3. Nadia - As stated before, Nadia is also not shown in this photo, which is surprising as in the other club photo, she is seen standing very closely next to Guzman. She is Guzman’s primary love interest in the show, so that is also why he looks so sad, and the blood on his hands might be from an attempt to keep her alive until an ambulance came. Although if she was truly in peril, I believe that Omar, Rebeca, and Guzman (maybe even Samuel!) would probably go with her to the hospital. However, anything’s possible.

4. Yeray/Malick - We haven’t seen the new kids in any photos from the party so far. Therefore, they could also die. RIP.

Despite Guzman having blood on his hands, I don’t think he’s the murderer. Too big of a spoiler to put in promotional materials. Next.

Love Is in the Air

Guzman/Nadia

Considering what happened in season 2 for these two, where they were filmed having sex and then publicly shamed at school, I’ll consider it a win if they’re standing closely together in a promo picture. I believe that these two will eventually find their way back to each other, and that they’re meant to be. They might spend the season mostly apart, but considering that a magazine also leaked these candids of the two actors kissing, hugging, and talking in these outfits, Guznadia is definitely endgame in some shape or form.

Lu/Valerio/Rebeca/Samuel

Since Valerio ended his incestuous relationship with Lu last season in the finale, it would make sense that he would try to move on with a new girl. And who better than Rebeca, who he’s already kissed at the Back-to-School party? If he makes some kind of play for Rebeca, it might make Samuel jealous and admit some feelings towards Rebe--considering the magazine also leaked candids of Samu and Rebe kissing outside of school in their uniforms.

However, considering Valerio’s “connection” with Lu, he may have a hard time moving on for good, as seen in the first picture. In my opinion, the picture of Lu/Valerio only serves to further my #LuDies theory. A sweet forehead kiss between siblings/former lovers at the grad party? Spells one word: doom. 

Samuel/Carla/Yeray

Samucarla has become a fan-favorite ship for many in the Elite fandom. So seeing this picture of Yeray (played by Sergio Momo) with his arms around Carla may hurt some people’s feelings. It is clear that at some point in this season, Samuel does kiss Rebe, however in the magazine spread of Elite candids, Samuel and Carla were seen talking at the grad party, and Carla had her hand on Samu’s face. Will the two try to move on from another, but eventually pulled back together? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Omar/Ander

Fan-favorites “Omander” have no solo promotional pictures so far, but both were glimpsed in the party photo. Their storylines this season may be very spoilery and integral to the plot, which is why they weren’t shown as much. 

Polo/Cayetana

Like Omander, the two were in promo shots, but never seen together. This also hints at the two’s dynamic being super important to season 3, considering Polo is a murderer and Caye is now his accomplice in covering up his crime.

These are just my theories for the upcoming season based on what is available to us right now, and I will certainly update them as more material comes out! Feel free to let me know your own thoughts, and make sure to watch season 3 when it comes out March 13th on Netflix!

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

In 2019, Peter Farrelly crossed the Dolby Theater stage at the 91st Academy Awards to proudly accept three Oscars, including Best Picture, for his drama Green Book. For any director, these Oscars would be a crowning achievement. To Farrelly, this was also an induction into the Hollywood fraternity—that rarefied group from whom he and his brother, Bobby, had long stood apart. The Farrelly brothers had at one time been maverick comedy filmmakers whose brand was just the right combination of offensive humor and heart. As Farrelly raised his Oscars for the crowd, he was no longer the goofy outsider who directed gross comedies. He was an important filmmaker.

Be that as it may, Green Book—despite the awards coronation—was every bit the offensive relative to Peter’s work with Bobby. The film had generated tons of criticism for its handling of race, leaning heavily on cultural stereotypes for its humor and pathos, and presented a morally superior view of white privilege while possibly misrepresenting the only nuanced Black character in the film. These criticisms dominated the Monday Morning Oscar Quarterbacking on podcasts and Twitter threads, putting just a little bit of tarnish on the filmmaker’s new trophies.

Criticism and controversy are not new to either Peter or Bobby Farrelly. Since their directorial debut in 1994 with Dumb & Dumber, they have walked the tightrope of all offensive comedians. As Roger Ebert said about them, their movies are “crude, vulgar, cruel, insensitive, scatological, perverse, and politically incorrect.” Gene Siskel made sure he added “gross and raunchy” to that list. They meant this as a compliment. People died watching Jeff Daniels experience exploding diarrhea in Dumb & Dumber, Woody Harrelson share a post-coital cig with his grotesque landlord in Kingpin, and Jason Alexander wag his tail in Shallow Hal. Few would call any of their oeuvre particularly deep—and should probably laugh at the pretense of referring to their filmography as an oeuvre.

The most controversial, and arguably most popular, film of the Farrelly’s career is 1998’s There’s Something About Mary. This one focuses on a generic loser named Ted (Ben Stiller), who holds a flame for his teenage crush, Mary (Cameron Diaz). Because Ted believes Mary may hold the key to his happiness, he hires a private dick named Healy (Matt Dillon) to find out where she is. Healy falls under Mary’s spell and leverages his influence to keep Ted away. As played by Diaz, Mary is a “smart girl who has a lot going for her”; however, Mary isn’t particularly observant and awfully naïve. Every man she encounters falls for her, and she has a litany of stalkers who will do anything to possess her.

Based on description alone, There’s Something About Mary presents as a harmless rom-com, but the Farrelly’s bring their edgy style to the film. This movie is packed with indecent images. Ted’s “Franks N’ Beans.” Mary’s “hair gel.” The fish hook. Magda’s makeout session with her dog, Puffy. Woogie’s face. The gross stuff is what it is, but the material that sticks are the stalking and how the depiction of Down’s Syndrome impacted perception of those with mental handicaps. Reviewing this film through the lens of 2021 causes even more cringing than it did in 1998.

You could tell that even in 1998 there was a narrative building around this movie. In a press interview, Ben Stiller said, “I wouldn’t necessarily associate this film with deep social commentary. I think it’s a sweet movie that you can go out and laugh at.” Diaz added, “With this film, I know that [the Farrelly Brothers] wanted to have characters—people—that were important to the audience. They wanted a love story that people could really get involved with, as well as have the comedy.” She also said more recently in 2018, “Peter and Bobby have such heart in all of their movies. No matter how shocking the comedy is, there is so much that is inherently good about the story and the characters that really appeals to people and it makes the laughter at the jokes a little more forgivable.”

From the get-go, everyone on the project knew somethings were going to be potentially problematic. Studio brass expressed some concern over the decision to make an R-rated comedy. The PG-13 rating had squeezed out the R-rated comedy to the point that very few were being made. Movies like Friday (1995), Flirting with Disaster (1996), Private Parts (1997) and The Big Lebowski (1998) all had pretty limited audiences. No one was convinced an adult comedy could even make a buck, let alone entertain. Besides, the Farrelly’s previous film, Kingpin (1996), had bombed, so could they even be the duo to make a lucrative R-rated comedy.

On the set, there were concerns, too. Diaz worried about whether the infamous “hair gel” scene was a bridge too far, and might possibly be the ruin of her rising career. During the scene where Puffy falls out a window, Bobby Farrelly needed to get the right reaction from Diaz and co-star Lin Shaye, so he dropped his pants and wiggled his ass. It wasn’t the first time the director had done this, either on or off set. According to Peter, Bobby liked doing this; it would one day get him in some trouble. And the production was surprised when Plantation City Hall, whose veneer was redressed to become the exterior of Ted and Mary’s high school, asked to have their name removed from the film’s credits because they didn’t want to be associated with anything “lewd and offensive.” The studio was also worried about the decision to include a close up of Ted’s “franks n’ beans” after he catches them in his zipper. That shot was got by creating a 4’x2’ prop, and inserted just in case it needed to be cut out of the film. Fox chairman, Peter Chernin, after seeing a test screening, told the Farrelly’s, “It’s perfectly reprehensible; don’t touch a thing.”

There were also questions about the portrayal of Warren, Mary’s brother, who has Down’s Syndrome. Peter Farrelly said, “Whenever you did [write disabled characters] back then, it seems the studio was, ‘No, no, no! People are uncomfortable’ [with disabilities]. And I’m like, ‘No, they’re not. That’s bull. People have disabilities, so let’s see them.” Warren was based on a next-door neighbor of the Farrelly’s to whom the family was close. The young man is also cast in the film as one of Mary’s students. It also seems casting may have been one way to circumvent controversy surrounding Warren. Initially, it looked like the part would go to Chris Farley, who was hot at that time for his work on Saturday Night Live. However, Farley’s energy may have contributed to seeing Warren as a caricature, so the production went with W. Earl Brown. Brown wanted to play Warren as a real person, not a cartoon. He said in a 2018 interview with Variety, “I just feel instinctively, ‘If you goof this, if you play it broad and you try to be funny, it ain’t going to be funny. The audience is going to hate you because you are mocking somebody with a handicap,’” This didn’t stop anyone from seeing the film as a possible Pandora’s box of disabled stereotypes and disparagement humor.

The other controversy surrounding this movie has become more pronounced in the social media age. Does There’s Something About Mary normalize sexual predation and stalking? Critic Rachel Verona Cote said, “Humor that takes stalking seriously requires nimbleness and nuance that the Farrelly brothers lack; instead, they trade in crude jokes underpinned by the structurally misogynist ‘boys will be boys’ mythos.” There may be something to this criticism. In 2016, a University of Michigan research study, entitled “I Did It Because I Never Stopped Loving You,” found that women are often more tolerant of aggressive male behavior because of the normalizing of such behavior in romantic comedies. There’s Something About Mary was one of the films cited in the report, which suggested that the film’s excusal of male aggression supported “stalking myths,” which were defined as “false or exaggerated beliefs about stalking that minimize its seriousness.” Findings like these also support research that has been going on since Harriet Martineau began pioneering the field of gender conflict. The Martineau Theory suggested that exposure to disparaging humor towards a particular group often has the result of inducing tolerance towards prejudice directed at that group. Martineau’s work focused on gender theory, but could just as easily be applied to any group.

Obviously, there is no truly right or wrong answer in regards to There’s Something About Mary, but as you watch the film, it seems a new lens may need to be applied. Even as we laugh at the cringeworthy humor of the Farrelly Brothers, what is their target? What behaviors are they excusing? Ben Stiller suggested there was no deeper political meaning to the film, but does that deeper meaning have to be intended to be valid? As There’s Something About Mary nears its 25th anniversary, we now look at it with more nuance, also with the realization that Peter Farrelly’s Oscar victories for Green Book suggest his once outsider take on comedy and culture is now firmly at the center.

Taylor Swift’s Evermore Review

This evening as I was stuck in traffic, driving back from holiday shopping all day for myself because let me tell you something if I don’t give myself something for Christmas, no one will. Anyway, there was not a lot going on at that moment, so I opened Facebook and was hit with great news: Taylor Swift was releasing YET ANOTHER ALBUM, a sister album to folklore named evermore.

Several hours later, at 11:11pm on December 10th, 2020 – after wrapping up my workout for the day and taking a shower – I’m tucked in bed, with a glass of cold water in hand, AirPods in (the pro ones obvi), about to listen to her newest album. So, let’s review it.

willow

Ok, so the instruments are a little more pronounced right away, I suspected this already because the album artwork was in color instead of black and white.

I really liked this song, I don’t know what it is about alternative music that just hits me where it needs to (unlike any other genre), and Taylor is such a great songwriter that I can always feel the meaning in her words even if I don’t relate.

However, I can relate to this one. My favorite lyric:

The more you say The less I know Wherever you stray I follow

I’ve said this to a guy before lol, he ghosted me after three weeks. But those three weeks were everything. Heaven and hell. If you wanna learn more about him read my past posts, you’ll find them right away.

Anyway, I don’t have a man right now, and I don’t want one, but like I said, I can feel the words.

champagne problems

Sadness.

You know what I’ve realized, and maybe everyone already knew this, but when going through a breakup a lot of the pain comes from the other person doing all the things we did together, but with someone else. Even if you were the one to break up the relationship, it still hurts. And this song is just that.

I cannot relate to this song personally because I’ve never done this to a person, but I do like to think that the shitty guy who obliterated my heart last January (yeah, the one I mentioned above) felt this way. Probs not.

Favorite lyrics:

She’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing

I really enjoyed the piano on this one.

gold rush

Ok, a poppy beat. I like it.

While folklore was mostly not about her life, so far evermore seems very personal, yet very relatable. Gold rush obviously refers to the California gold rush, and thousands (millions? I don’t know, I was educated in Texas) of people relocating to California so they could dig up some gold. Perceptibly, the gold in this case refers to her man, and how everyone wants him (at least in her head).

Favorite lyrics:

I don’t like slow motion double vision in rose blush

I just like how she can make any words fit. Like, how does she do it?

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

Something that we all wonder about hot people. This song is about the insecurity that comes with being in a relationship, which is why I don’t like being in relationships.

‘tis the damn season

I like this one because it considers what a lot of us consider as well. The what if?

I don’t know if she wrote this one thinking about herself because as far as we know she is really happy with her man, and I really hope it stays that way. But when she says:

And the road not taken looks Real good now

Was she maybe wondering what life would’ve been like with her hometown lover? I don’t know. But I mean we all definitely consider things like this at some point in our lives, not necessarily about hometown lovers, but about past ones.

Favorite lyrics:

You could call me “babe” for the weekend ‘Tis the damn season Write this down

I assume she means the holiday season because don’t we all wish we had someone during it, but like just for the “weekend”? I know I do, but no.

tolerate it

This song is about that looming feeling that takes over a lot of us after the “honey moon” period at the beginning of a relationship is over. The moments where you start to consider whether something is a red flag or whether you are imagining it. I think it happens to everyone, but I don’t want to generalize.

Favorite lyrics:

If it’s all in my head tell me now Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow

_

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

_

Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life

For me, all of these lyrics show the insecurities that are typical in a relationship. It’s actually a little painful when you go through it, and it’s almost like you want your partner to wear a bodycam so that you can see and hear every conversation they have, to listen to the way they say things, their tone of voice, compliments they give and to who, just every detail of their life.

It sucks to feel that way.  

no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)

Pop country?

This one is just really, like a lot to take in. Obviously, it’s not about Taylor, but it’s told by a person whose friend Este was “murdered” (cheated on I assume); however, I think Este is singing the song. I don’t know, there are many ways you could interpret this story.

I was really impressed though by how it goes from:

But I ain’t letting up until the day I die

to:

I wasn’t letting up until the day he Died

My assumption is that it’s about cheating and seeing all the clues, but not having the evidence to prove it, but still avenging yourself in the end. I liked this song.

happiness

The song is a question, “how does something great end?”

“We were so happy, when did it change?”

You know, these are questions that you will ask yourself at some point in your life.

I’m just now realizing that evermore is about why being in a relationship sucks, maybe we’ll get why being in a relationship is great with the rest of the songs, but so far Taylor is doing a great job at reminding me why I don’t want to be in a relationship, and perfect timing because ‘tis the damn season.

This song is the epitome of “easier said than felt”:

There’ll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you

No matter how many times you tell yourself this, when you’re going through a break up, this won’t help because you want them to be your happiness.

There’ll be happiness after me But there was happiness because of me

This one will hurt when your ex finds someone else because not only do they know that there is happiness after you, but they found the happiness after you.

Leave it all behind And there is happiness

Like I said, easier said than felt.

dorothea

The words we all wish our high school crush would say to us.

Do you ever stop and think about me?

Yes.

coney island (feat. The National)

I think we are entering the “pondering” songs, the ones where you don’t necessarily feel anything for the person, but you’re just thinking about them, and in the case of this song, all the ways you wronged them.

I have never done this to a person because nobody wants me lol. My favorite lyrics:

Will you forgive my soul When you’re to wise to trust me and too old to care?

I don’t know, there’s something honest about the question.

ivy

Are the songs getting more philosophical by now, or am I just dumb?

So far, this has been the song that I just cannot understand. Reading over the lyrics once again, I think this is a song about two separately married people having an affair, but not being able of letting go of each other even though they are “promised” to other people.

I don’t know, somebody enlighten me!

Favorite lyrics:

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it’s been promised to another

cowboy like me

Now I’m really doubting my mental capacity. What is a cowboy supposed to be like?

I think, and this might be completely wrong, this song is about being in the entertainment industry. About selling yourself within the industry as the “cream of the crop”, but knowing deep down you are not that, and then recognizing someone in the industry doing the same thing as you. You know, just two people going through life selling themselves as the best of the best, and finding comfort in having someone they can be their true selves with. 

Favorite lyrics:

You’re a cowboy like me Perched in the dark Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear

long story short

Long story short, this is a song about falling and getting back up again. 

While I really like the lyrics in the end, when she says she survived the fall from the precipice, these resonated with me a little more:

I always felt I must look Better in the rear view

I take this to mean something along the lines of “the idea of who I am looks better than who I actually am.” I really identify with this thought because if you met me you would probably think that I’m just so chill and funny (not to toot my own horn lol), but if you got to know me you’d pretty quickly realize I am anxiety-ridden and dislike people very much.

marjorie

For some reason I feel like this song is about a trans person, is that just me? Like, you were born again as Marjorie, and you have a dead name now, but the essence of who you are is not dead to me. 

Maybe not. I don’t know.

This could also be about losing the person you love, and wishing you had appreciated and enjoyed the times you spent with them a little more. This seems more like it.

I love that Taylor’s writings can be interpreted in many ways, and you know it’s all deliberate. Like she planned it like that. Ugh, her mind!

Favorite lyrics:

Never be so kind You forget to be clever Never be so clever You forget to be kind

For me this is a message on how you should keep a good balance in who you are. A reminder to not lose track of yourself.

closure

Well, this song is about closure. The whole first part of the song resonated so much with me because, going back to the guy that broke my heart back in January, well:

It’s been a long time And seeing the shape of your name Still spells out pain It wasn’t right The way it all went down

While I have gotten over him, the lyrics above mirror how I felt for a really long time even though our “relationship” only lasted three weeks (I’m not exaggerating). By the way, this guy and I were never official or anything.

Favorite lyrics:

It cut deep to know ya Right to the bone

This is still true. But yeah, I don’t need his closure (not that he would ever reach out), but I got my own closure, and that’s all that matters.

evermore (feat. Bon Iver)

And I couldn’t be sure I had a feeling so peculiar This pain wouldn’t be for Evermore

Coming back to closure and getting over a break up, there’s nothing more painful than the feeling you get when you get broken up with. Every day that you are not with this person, you think of new things you miss about them, and that’s what makes it painful. You keep telling yourself that you’ll get over them, but as the days go by you start doubting whether that is true (btw it’s true), and that’s why those lyrics are so significant.

Thoughts:

Well, I really liked this album just like I did folklore. I think Taylor is entering a new phase in her life. NOT a new era that goes with an album and ends when a new one comes out, but a new phase. That phase when you let go of the immature kid inside of you, and start focusing on yourself instead of others. These past couple of albums have shown that. I’m not saying that Taylor was immature btw, or that she is no longer youthful, but she definitely has a more adult-like air about her.

She also makes it clear why she is the Apple Music’s Songwriter of the Year. Her lyrics are just magnificent, she is able to say so much in a few verses, and she, like, cuts so deep with paper-thin words. It’s impressive, and I definitely see her as poet (since forever).

Anyway, I hope y’all like the album as well, and I hope Taylor keeps making music because I definitely LOVE IT!

Make sure to stream and/or buy her latest album here:

Apple Music

Spotify

YouTube

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E62 (May 14, 2019)

The pre-roll summarizes last week’s episode well:

[id: A picture of a small pink toy house with sides that fold out and an oven that looks like just a great little sticker with a picture of something delicious cooking in the oven. Now I’m hungry. end id]

Fresh off their takeover of the Yee-haw Game Ranch, tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Ashley Johnson!

Brian’s camera angle has to be adjusted to accommodate his extra-floofy hair.

Announcements: In place of the Gif of the Week contest, there is now a Cosplay of the Week contest, and there will also be a cosplay gallery! Only individual cosplay photos will be considered for the Cosplay of the Week since there can only be one winner (group photos are fine for the gallery!). More info here. Art and cosplay submission has changed! Instead of e-mailing, you can now SUBMIT by visiting critrole.com/submit. Wyrmwood will be sponsoring both contests going forward.

Episode 62: Domestic Respite

Jester has cast Sending 38 times, making it her second-most-used spell after Cure Wounds.

It’s been roughly 3.5 months since Jester and Nott sent their letter to the Academy. Laura: “Oh no. That’s a long time that things could have happened behind the scenes.”

Dani, speaking for so many: “Ashley, you’re perfect, and I just want you on the show all the time.”

Jester likes having a roommate, and Laura thinks Beau also likes having one. "I think it’s a really nice partnership, that they get along really, really well.”

Yasha getting the balcony room was for a couple reasons: “sleeping under a roof like that is obviously a very new thing for Yasha” and also “from experience, from what she knows up until this point, is that she communes with her god outside”. She thinks he might be an “outside god”, but isn’t sure whether he comes indoors. Now I’m picturing a god with a doggy door.

Ashley was tempted by Caduceus’ space, but she didn’t want to steal his thunder. “I think there will be nights where Yasha will probably go in there to sleep at night.”

Laura: “I can paint you a hammock for the tree!”

Jester genuinely does want to make people happy, but “I think that desire comes from fear, probably, of disappointing people and of them not wanting to be around her. She grew up with expectations on her, and upon herself, maybe, that she put there. She equates that to being loved, and keeping that love.”

Brian asks about Laura’s inspiration for that idea, and Laura talks about how it wound up being a pretty natural evolution of the character once she started embodying her and fleshing her out a little more.

Yasha’s “very much struggling with the love that people give her, and so I think in terms of the house and everything, it’s obviously a weird thing.” Before Jester came in to decorate the room, Yasha wasn’t planning on putting anything in that room; it was going to be a bare-bones living space and nothing more. “It was just another moment of, this is a family, and they all care about each other, and Jester wanting to make Yasha happier, doing something nice, that was a beautiful little moment.” There’s some conflicting feelings. “I don’t know how long she’s going to last in that room.”

Laura points out that everyone in the group shares that feeling of not being deserving of affection. Ashley: “Do we all just feel that, secretly, and then put that in our characters?”

Laura has some ideas about decorating the other rooms that she doesn’t want to bring up in case they come up in-game. The only person she doesn’t have ideas for is Fjord, because he specifically asked her not to. She’s not sure what his deal is with the house. “He’s playing it very close to the chest.”

Blindspot’s been renewed for one more season. Ashley stares directly into the camera: “And then I’m home.”

They make a joke about a spinoff when Ashley’s character inevitably turns out to be the real villain on the show. Brian, staring directly into the camera: “And it shoots in Los Angeles.”

Yasha’s feelings of not being a full member of the M9 and often having to play catch-up (Ashley: “Not the condiment.”) is partially a reflection of Ashley’s feelings, but she thinks it’s something that may change given some time. “Obviously, everybody showing love towards each other is breaking down everybody in a good way.”

Jester originally just wanted to put a peephole in the wall “so she could spy on Fjord”. But then she told him, and things kind of spiraled from there in a way she hadn’t intended. Dani: “None of it was dirty... except for the initial idea.”

Lo, Henry is slain by the pineapple:

[id: Henry having a well-deserved snooze with a thoroughly mangled pineapple dog toy on top of him. end id]

Yasha’s getting more comfortable with sharing her past. “But a lot of that was sort of out of knowing that I have a little bit of a limited time at home. But I think it was at a point where we kind of had to discuss it. There’s still a lot that hasn’t been talked about, so that’s still the surface part of the story. It definitely has gotten to the point with them where she did feel comfortable confessing that with them. ‘Yeah, I’m a coward. Here’s my story.’”

Jester on the unintended information revealed in the letter to Astrid: “The thing is, I’m sure somebody like Astrid could figure it out, but most people know my mom as the Ruby of the Sea. It’s not like, come see Marion Lavorre! That’s not a name that’s out there.” Laura points out that it’s not even common knowledge that the Ruby has a daughter. “But it’s... not good. It can be traced. That was not the wisest decision, but I’m blaming that fully on Nott, because I didn’t know anything about Caleb’s backstory at the time.” All she knew at the time was that he potentially had an old girlfriend named Astrid.

Even the group’s reassurance hasn’t changed Yasha’s opinion that her actions were cowardly. Ashley doesn’t think she’ll ever change that opinion. “I think she realized in that moment how brave she was not. It’s like if you do something shitty in your life, you don’t ever really forget it.” Brian points out that there’s a difference between that and choosing to be defined by your worst moment, which Ashley agrees is closer to where Yasha is right now, and that aspect could change with time. “I think it did mean something that Beau said that [she’s a survivor]”, but there was still that aspect of ‘oh, you’re just saying that’.

On Nott expressing the possibility of leaving the M9 to stay with her family, Jester’s opinion? “Not good. But family’s important, too.” Yasha’s opinion is that, since she’s recovered her family and wants to be with them again, she should take advantage of that opportunity for a second chance. Laura and Ashley both can’t see a way forward right now where Nott doesn’t leave.

Laura: “Jester wouldn’t hold any animosity towards Caleb for the sins of the past. Unless it was something really bad. Like killing his parents or something.” Yasha also wouldn’t be likely to throw stones.

Fan Art of the Week: Jester painting the wildflowers. A long time is spent panning and zooming to hunt down the hidden dick.

Yasha following Fjord was mostly just because he’d been acting strange lately. “I just wanted to find out what he was up to.” Laura: “Sometimes you follow people.” Brian: “That’s how you find out what they’re up to.”

Laura, out of context: “It’s not a glory hole, it’s a peephole!”

Laura: “I feel like Jester’s been very forward with Fjord, and he hasn’t returned any of those flirtations... things that she thinks are flirtations. But there was definitely this friendly banter between them early on, and it drifted away when we were at sea. He hasn’t been talking to anybody about the turmoil he’s been going through or any of that stuff. I’m backing it off on those terms with her. Plus having the realization that all romances are not what you read in the book. She’s coming to these terms of, maybe I don’t understand how it is, and how I feel and how other people feel, I don’t know any of those things.”

Yes, Ashley knows that armor would improve her AC, but wearing armor would seriously limit Yasha’s abilities in battle. Laura: “You need a ring of AC, is what you need. But if we got it, you’d be fucked, because Caleb would just take it and keep it for himself.”

Laura, patting the Caleb plushie gently: “I give Liam a hard time, but honestly I do understand that Caleb’s a glass cannon and he needs the protection. I understand it,” Laura adds, patting the Caleb plushie with significantly greater force.

Yasha’s negative opinions of Xhorhas that she expressed earlier were partly colored by her experiences there, and partly to try to keep herself and the rest of the group away from her past. She also points out that if they encountered her tribe, they’d be within their rights to kill her, and she’d probably accept it.

Ashley’s excited at the prospect of Yasha going home because she’s looking forward to seeing what Matt will have done with the parts of Yasha’s backstory she wrote. Yasha’s opinion is considerably less positive. This is as far north as Yasha’s ever been. “I think she’ll continue to avoid it until they can’t anymore.”

Laura would be a lot more confident in the Gentleman being Jester’s dad if she’d thought to use Disguise Self in front of Marion. Jester, on the other hand, is entirely convinced that he’s her dad. She doesn’t fully think he’s intentionally ignoring her. She has a plan for what to do the next time they meet him.

Yasha’s favorite flower? “There’s still so many flowers that she hasn’t seen.” She may not have a favorite yet; she’s still learning what she likes.

Ashley calls out Brian for mispronouncing Yasha’s wife’s name: it’s definitely spelled and pronounced ‘Zuala’.

In a trust exercise, Ashley whips the Caleb plushie at Brian’s head.

Tune in shortly for the cast of Critical Role joining Joel Hodgson’s MST3K: The Podcomic!

The Invisibles #3

This is exactly what taking drugs isn't.

Our world is composed of geniuses and not-geniuses. That's the kind of statement a not-genius makes because it's so fucking obvious. Do you ever have to say anything that pretty much says "All of the people on the world are either this or that"? Anyway, the point I was making wasn't that I'm one of the not-geniuses even though it's the point I accidentally made. The point was that in the non-genius camp, we have those who are smart enough to recognize genius and those who sit grumpily in their pee-puddles whining about how the high-falutin' elites are trying to make things different. Different, in this case, generally means better but if you're a non-genius who can't recognize geniuses, you're just mad that somebody said french fries might not be the most nutritional side dish (even though you could still live in a world where you acknowledge that french fries are both not even close to nutritional and also the best food on the planet. I mean, you have that choice. But I guess the pee-puddle you're sitting in (which is slowly leaking into your gun cabinet) has probably distracted you from rational thought). Again, that wasn't the point I was going to make (about the french fries!) but I have a problem staying on topic. Partly it's because I've never been able to stay on topic (you should read some of my college essays which I'm not going to release to the public so even though I suggested you should read them, you won't be reading them. Ever) and partly it's because of another reason that I forgot while typing the college paper parenthetical statement. My point might have been that you can recognize a genius because they can state plain what other people are obfuscating in their pronouncements. If you're not smart enough to recognize the genius, you might think the genius is spreading propaganda, mostly because you really want to believe the thing that isn't true because it shields you from guilt or blame or repercussions stemming from following your own selfish desires at any cost. The genius is reviled by people who can't recognize genius and viled by people who can. Or unviled? Previled? Maybe I should have just gone with lauded. You might think I'm saying all of this in regards to Grant Morrison but you'd be wrong. I'm actually saying this about A.R. Moxon, the author of The Revisionaries, whose Twitter handle is @JuliusGoat. He did not pay me to point out that he's a genius although he probably should have. I suppose it's not too late. Being that he's a genius and knows the smart thing to do, I'm sure he'll buy my RPG when he Googles his name and/or Twitter handle and finds me sticking my tongue way up his asshole in this post. I mean, I'm basically saying he's smarter than Grant Morrison! Getting back to Grant Morrison, is he really a genius? I'm not so sure. I think maybe he's just a libertine who did a lot of drugs and traveled to a lot of sort-of-spiritual places (not to be more spiritual but to get his hot genius take on spirituality in a place that smells of burning corpses and goat semen while he shits his guts out back at the hotel high on hashish). Sometimes when you've done acid and other illicit substances, you feel the need to think you've risen above the flock by doing a thing most people will never consider doing. Maybe Grant doesn't exactly feel this way but some of his stuff sometimes comes across as that. I mean, sure, if you've ever done LSD or the like, you've definitely experienced a sort of melding of yourself with the profound and the mundane and the timeless in a way that usually only schizophrenics experience. You have done something that has changed you from the person you were before. But thinking that it has somehow made you different or better than those who haven't done it just means that you've never talked to people who went to high school in the flyover states. I've known some really boring and backwards people who did a lot of acid simply because there wasn't anything else to do out in the cornfields. It really did surprise me, a resident of the San Francisco Bay Area, to discover how prevalent psychoactive drugs were in the Midwest and Plains states. I thought that was just the hippies and children of hippies! What I didn't think, though, was that it made me a non-sheep (like the guy in my San Jose State creative writing class who once wrote a story about how he had broken from the flock because he dared to try LSD. The teacher loved his take and luckily for me, she was blind so she didn't see me rolling my eyes and making jerk-off motions from the back of the class. I mean, wow, dude. You dared to try LSD. I was probably on LSD while listening to the teacher read that stupid ass story!). Okay, maybe my whole take on "Grant Morrison thinks he's better than everybody else" stems from my envy of the idiot jock who wrote a stupid story that the teacher loved while she mostly just reacted to my stuff with "WTF? I guess I see how nostalgia can seem like a dream and the pop culture death of Superman can sometimes be more powerful than the death of a close family member but why did you choose to make none of this linear and what the hell do your Star Wars figures have to do with your future death? Also, the baseball game between Heaven and Hell where Heaven wins because Hitler snarls 'Jew' and then beans Jesus with the pitch to push in the last run was decent." Now that we've resolved some of my issues (I mean, maybe not "resolved" but at the very least "put out there in the open so you know where my biases are coming from"), let's get on with The Invisibles #3. When we last left our homophobic pouting white suburban "my mother doesn't hug me enough" anarchist protagonist, he was about to be hunted to death by a mystical group of human fox hunters in the secret London hidden beneath the one everybody thinks of as the "real London." I sort of hope the kid gets murdered. But then we won't get to see him learn his lesson which allows viewers to also maybe a learn a lesson. It's sometimes why you need characters like Mrs. Oleson from Little House on the Prairie. Although it was kind of enough to have Laura Ingalls who was a selfish devil child who was always learning lessons from humble and righteous Pa (who probably only killed one or two Native Americans, making him a stalwart saint of the frontier). I suppose the audience didn't need an over-the-top scurrilous villain like Mrs. Oleson. Although without Mrs. Oleson, how could the show have glorified the true saint of the frontier, Nells Oleson? The patience and kindness of that man were a testament to, um, patience and kindness!

I'm assuming Dane spends the next twenty pages snot-crying into a used coffee filter.

Dane continues to hang out with Tom of Bedlam because Dane can't survive on the street on his own and he knows it. He's not hard at all. He's a little wanna-be suburban gangster who read half of a book on anarchy and now thinks he's better than the slack-eyed populace going about their normal day-to-day bullshit. But he also thinks he still needs money and a place to live. He's not really great at the anarchy thing. But maybe if he listens to Tom, he'll learn a little bit about life and his heart will grow three sizes. Not because he suddenly cares more about everybody; it'll be a side-effect from learning the Dark Arts. Tom casts a spell so that Dane can look through the eyes of a pigeon as it flies about London. While Dane is seeing the hidden, creepy monsters lurking behind reality that pigeons can see (just as Pigeons can enter the afterlife in Moore's Jerusalem. I'm sure there are other urban horror stories that tell of the magic of pigeon vision. Did Lovecraft ever right any pigeon poems?), Tom tells Dane the secret history of cities. They're a virus that has propelled man from small villages which barely change across the centuries into huge population centers that use up the life force of the hosts as they build more and more and more, bigger and bigger, until, one day, they can build a rocket to propel the city virus into space and onto a new planet. Tom has seen, in visions, other planets affected by the virus, dead planets where the buildings stand as gravestones for the previous used-up races that contracted the virus. It's all very Lovecraftian. Not in the racist way but in the visions of other realities that change the nature of your own reality once you realize their existence. Hmm, that can actually kind of describe racism. I suppose Lovecraft's xenophobia was what made his stories about strange, unknown terrors so compelling. After teaching him loads of magic, Tom decides to teach Dane the most important lesson:

It's a really good lesson but also it's just Tom's attempt to get Jack Frost to appear.

Tom teaches Dane not to be a sheep or, in Tom's words, a robot. It's one of those weird lessons that everybody thinks they learn but nobody really learns it. Like when people read just that one Frost stanza on some poster in their English Lit class from "The Road Not Taken". Everybody gasps in air as the profundity of that single stanza (extracted from the context of the larger poem, much to the detriment of all of us) washes over them and they suddenly believe they've seen what life really is. Life isn't doing the thing you're supposed to do! Life is living to the fullest! Carpe diem! But the feeling of that moment erodes. It is eroded by the path we all take as we pretend we've taken the other path. We stop seeing that their weren't just two paths but many. And we get a job and we get a spouse and we get a house and we get a child and we occasionally think of Frost's single stanza and we decide, "You know what? I'm going to find the time to jump out of a plane!" or "I'm going to climb Everest!" or "I'm going to sleep with somebody of my same sex because I've always wanted to and hopefully my wife won't find out!" And sometimes we do and sometimes we don't; it doesn't really matter. Because the thing about taking the path less traveled is that it's still a path and it still represents the path you took and, you know what, there's that other path over there that I never got to experience and it's just shitting all over the path I'm currently on. Some people somehow block out the phantom possibilities and they're the lucky ones. The ones you can claim they have no regrets and maybe they're speaking truth when they say it. But mostly they just try not to think about it. Because once you start peeling at the wallpaper of your current life because the wallpaper, which others upon first glimpsing might think is beautiful and extraordinary, but which you've looked at every day for thirty years, you're done for. And you don't do it to find the beauty of what's underneath; you simply do it to see something different. And the new thing hasn't been scrutinized and deconstructed and critiqued; there's been no time to obsess over it. It's imaginary and if you happen to be like most people, imaginary must be better because why imagine the worst?! Okay, okay. I've just outed myself as not an anxious or depressive person! But I also don't go peeling at the wallpaper, so who knows? Maybe I do imagine the path less traveled was an intense tragedy?! The Invisibles #3 Rating: A. It's still pretty good and I'm still upset that I only have a few issues. Recently, I was thinking of writing an essay about how the worst thing about growing up is how you stop feeling things. Not that you stop feeling anything at all! Just that you stop feeling feelings that were once overwhelming and all-important. Like the crush you had in junior high. Can you imagine if, at forty, you still felt those feelings so intensely (among all the other ones you've felt across your life)? I understand that feelings must abate over time or we'd all be fucked up from not being able to get over our first crush while simultaneously not moving past the death of our closest grandparents. I get it. And some would say it's a mercy. But lately I've been wondering, "Is it?" Maybe I want to still feel those seemingly inexhaustible passions. I was reminded of wanting to discuss this because Tom says in this issue, "They made you forget how to feel, eh? Remember it now? Like everything new and the sun itself spinning behind your ribs, filling you up with silver. Like the way it was before they made robots of us, sentenced to a life behind bars we're trained to set in place ourselves." Now, that Tom speech was more about the whole "we're the shepherd of our own sheepdom" thing but in a robot and prison analogy. But the other thing about feelings made me remember how I was recently lamenting not feeling all of the things I once felt. Like the basket case from The Breakfast Club says, "When you grow up, your heart dies." And while you can argue whether that's true in the sense that you just stop caring about things, I think it's absolutely true in that it just slowly winds down and isn't capable of feeling how it used to. It's like a rechargeable battery that can no longer keep a charge. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, every single one of my friends, at one time or another, wound up weeping in my basement apartment about something in their lives (usually a woman!). I can't even fucking imagine that now. Maybe they'd be a bit upset or hurt or depressed but hardly disconsolate. I thought I would never get over the sadness at the loss of my grandfather or (and this might sound ridiculous to some but others will understand) the loss of my first cat as an adult, my precious little Judas. And while I obviously won't ever "get over" them (my eyes tear as I write this), I am no longer destroyed by the mere thought of their non-existence. A week after my Judas died, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy in the theater. Judas was always my Raccoon Boy so I almost broke down near the end when one of the characters put their arm around Rocket to console him. I made it out of the theater before absolutely losing it and snot-crying all the way back to the car. And so I can see how retaining that level of feeling over anything would be counterproductive to actually living, I absolutely miss it. I profoundly miss it. I want to be kicked in the stomach until I can't breathe by my feelings. I want this every day even if I know it's the cursed wish of a Monkey's Paw. How can anybody feel everything so palpably for their entire lives? And yet, how can we not?!

Legend of the White Snake - Episode 29

Wow. Suddenly everybody who disappeared come back. That Wang Daoling goes to meet Minister Liang disguised as a cultivator or a monk, I don’t know at this point. Anyways, minister Liang kicks him out so to gain his confidence, he organizes on purpose and accident to pretend to save him. He must have learnt with Ruyi.This is starting to get confusing. I think I’m going to go to bed and continue tomorrow morning, because I don’t understand why all of the doctors are out and none of them can help the lady from a few episodes earlier to give birth. Moreover, it’s too early? I’m lost.

So they fetch for Xu Xian and he refuses at first because he has no experience, but then hasn’t really a choice but to go. Suzhen knows something is wrong and someone is trying to frame Xu Xian again (Wang Daoling). So she asks Xiao Qing to come with her and help. She’s invoking some immortals using the fact that Xiao Qing is half immortal too. Those two are really unhappy to be summoned by demons, but they try to convince them that somebody is using evil aura to injure the innocent. And it works, Wang Daoling get struck by lightning.

Mu queen gives birth to twins and everybody is safe for now! Mu King thanks deeply Xu Xian but then Xu Xian thanks him for saving him back then. Wooops. It wasn’t the real Mu King, so he’s a little bit confused. Then he thinks about how the Mu King was worried about him and understands it probably was Suzhen.

Xiao Qing is happy that her half-immortal blood could be of any use for Suzhen, but Suzhen is still worried that it hasn’t ended yet.

Back home, Jiaorong puts grapefruit leaves in the water. In Chinese, grapefruit is 柚子(yòuzi) and is pronounced like 有子(yǒuzǐ) which translates literally as having a kid. Cute. I love Chinese because of that. In what other language can you make so many riddles with words like this? Anyways, that’s good fortune for them to have kids.

An evil spirit comes in at night and gives a bad dream to Jiaorong in which Suzhen is revealed as the big White Snake. Jiaorong wakes up scared to death.

Ruyi hears people talking about Suzhen and praising her, saying she’s a bodhisattva. She gets angry and people call her crazy for saying that Suzhen is a demon. Then she throws on the ground all the medicine. Jiaorong happens to pass by and pays for he medicine Ruyi ruined, even though she doesn’t speak to her. She’s then kind of possessed again by an evil spirit and she decides to join forces with Ruyi to kill Suzhen.

An old man comes to seek Xu Xian’s help to save his wife, but while he follows the old man, Xu Xian feels there’s something wrong and finds a way to escape. However it’s too late and to add to that, Wang Daoling is using his powers to enhance the man’s martial abilities. Right as he was about to be killed, King Mu comes and saves Xu Xian. But they can’t manage to kill that man. Wow. For once, Ruyi is useful. She stops Wang Daoling from controlling that man and breaks the spell.

Xu Xian suspects that Minister Liang is still looking to cause him trouble because he believes he has stuff left from his father. So Suzhen suggests they find the evidence so it will all stop. And she uses Jin Song’s mark he left her to travel to the past and they go meet with Xu Xian’s father. They have a nice little talk, but before they can get any information, soldiers come to get Xu Xian’s father.

I’m starting to feel that there are too many unresolved plot in this drama and there are like... 7 episodes left. That’s not enough.

You know I have to do it to you. widomauk 10, caleb can't speak properly after a kiss ;)

THIS IS FOR YOU BABE

——

“Caleb darling, can I borrow you for a moment?” Mollymauk calls over his shoulder.

“Ja-” Caleb sighs. He shuffles over to Molly and Jester’s table. “What is it?”

The lavender tiefling slings an arm over the back of his chair, leaning his head back to look up at Caleb. “The Cleric over there has this new spell she’s wanting to try, and I can’t make heads or tails of it. Figured I might get a professionals opinion.” he gives Caleb a ‘help me out here pal” sort of look. A look one parent might give to the other, seeking help in placating a very adamant child.

“Well uhh- I am no expert but, ja I will do what I can.” he settles his hands on the back of Molly’s chair. Reaching around his shoulder, Molly pats his hand.

“Thank you darling. She’s been talking nonsense” he says

Across the table Jester pouts. “It’s not even that bad you guys.” She say. “It’s just like- a really cool new spell that the Traveler told me about.”

Mollymauk  holds up a single long finger. “And that-” he says “Is my first issue with all of this. Your deity fancies himself quite the trickster and I would very much like to keep all the hair on top of my head, thank you.”

Jester rolls her eyes ���You’re being overly dramatic, Molly”

“Perhaps.” he say. “Which- is why I’m utilizing all the wizards I have at my disposal.” he pats Caleb’s hand again, and Caleb’s finger flex instinctively under the gentle touch of heat.

“What is this spell, Jester?” he asks.

“Oh you know-” Jester says, picking at her fingernails now. “-It’s just a little spell, it will make you harder to hit in battle!”

Now that- that is intriguing. Caleb scratches at the scruff on his jaw. “A shield spell then?”

“Mmmhhh, something like that.” Jester says “It takes two people to work but it lasts for a week or something like that.”

Molly glances up at Caleb again, mirroring his own wide eyes and raised eyebrows. He has to agree, the spell sounds almost too good to be true.

‘Well that’s- certainly something.” Molly says, turning his attention back on Jester. He nibbles at his lower lip. “- Alright, I’ll bite. What would we have to do?”

“Okay so like basically’ Jester begins, sitting up in her chair. “I would do this super quick ritual and like, as long as the two people I’m casting the spell on are willing basically they become way harder to hit as long as they’re standing a couple feet from each other.”

“That does not sound to complicated.” Caleb says. He’s never heard of this spell before, but fundamentally it makes sense. The two parties would serve as components in an area of affect that only the two of them benefit from. That last for a week. Something like that could be extremely useful- were the Nein planning to make other long trips on dangerous stretches of road. They are still- healing- after the last grizzly accident had left them one short. His hand squeezes the back of Molly’s chair.

Jester nods. “It’s actually really good that you’re here Caleb- I was going to come and find you anyway.”

“Why me?” he asks.

“No offence Caleb but you’re like, really squishy and I’m kind of always worried that like you’ll just drop dead if somebody pushes you wrong.”

Caleb frowns. Jester ignores him

“And you’re pretty squishy too Molly- you do drop dead sometimes.” she says, earnestly.

Molly shrugs. “That’s fair.”

Jester pushes up onto her knees, leaning over the table as far as she can. “Soooooooooo?”

“What do you say, Mr. Caleb?” Molly says, flashing Caleb a wry smile over his shoulder, which Caleb returns, albeit a bit nervously. “Willing to give it a go?”

Caleb pulls at his chin. The spell seems alright, if not a bit to convenient, but they won’t know until they try it.  He truly hopes Molly was not right in think that it some sort of trick. He would also very much like to keep all his hair.

“I cannot see a reason not to uuh- try it out.” he says.

“Mind as well right?” Molly agrees.

Jester squeals. “Okay, okay okay- stand up, both of you” she says, wringing out her hands. Molly does as he’s told, moving around the back of his chair to stand beside Caleb. Jester strips two rings from her fingers, handing one to Molly and the other to Caleb. “Okay Molly- we’ll start with you.”

“Alright” he says, sounding rather amused.

“Right so- Molly, do you promise, and I mean like really really promise to keep Caleb safe and liiiike, protect him and make sure nothing happens to him. Even when he’s all grouchy and quite, or even when he like- doesn’t take a bath for like a month and gets really stinky.”

Molly laughs, cocking his head to look at Caleb out of the corner of his crimson eyes. “I think I can manage that.”

Caleb stares down at his hands, still clamped down tight to the back of the chair. He’s not sure if it’s Molly, or Jester’s phrasing, but he is growing increasingly nervous about this whole endeavor. Before he can fully sort it out in his head, however, Jester rounds on him, fingers wiggling.

“Caleb” she sings

“Eh-ja?” he says.“Caleb- do you promise to keep Molly safe, and never let anything bad to him, even when he’s doing something really stupid that’ll get him hurt. And like- promise to keep an eye on him and keep him close and take more baths because you really are stinky and I don’t even remember the last time you washed your hair-”

“Jester-” he warns

“Okay okay_!” she huffs “You don’t have to promise that stuff for the spell to work. It’s just a nice idea, that’s all.”

Caleb pinches the bridge of his nose. Molly bumps against his shoulder, Caleb peers at him from under his fingers. “You’re fine dear, ignore her”

“Anyway” Jester begins. She sounds considerably less excited now. “Caleb do you promise to take care of Molly and keep him out of trouble and protect him or whatever?”

He considers Mollymauk. All his bright colors, his pastel skin and his rich, plum colored hair that curls softly around is ears. He considers his loud, blinding cloths. His embroidered coat and his ridiculous, impractical boots. He considers all his jewelry, the golden hoops that hang heavy in his ears and gemstones pierced through his large, curling horns. He considers Molly, and his warm smile and his kind voice. He considers his gentle, personable nature, his bright excited eyes and his infectious laughter. Caleb considers all of this, and he nods.

“Ja, I will do that.” he says, and he means it.

Delighted once more, Jester slaps her hands together. “Now give each other the rings!”

It feels silly. Molly giggles as they fumble with them, Caleb nearly dropping his before pressing it to the tiefling’s palm. The whole ritual feels rather childish. Like when he was a boy, and little girls would twist together flower circlet and give them to little boys. How they would run through the town square hand in hand, loudly proclaiming how they were not married and-

Oh.

“Alright then-” Jester says. “With all of the power vested in me-!”

Oh Scheisse-

“I pronounce you both married in the name of the Traveler! Kiss your husband!”

“Was-!” Caleb chocks out. Beside him, Mollymauk barks out a laugh. He clutches at Caleb’s arm as his shoulder shake violently with it.

Jester rolls her eyes. “You guys don’t actually have to kiss for the spell to work.”

“Well I’ve never been one for tradition-” Molly says and before Caleb can truly process it, there are fingers in his hair.

He feels himself being turn, catching the mischievous glint of Molly’s scarlet eyes before the tiefling pulls him in for a kiss.

It’s sloppy in the most juvenile sense of the word. Mollymauk mashes his lips to Caleb’s in a kiss that’s too wet and too awkward. All bark, no bite. Still Caleb’s stomach plunges at the feeling of Molly’s lips on his. His fingers dig into the other man’s coat and his head, on some old impulse tilts just enough to the right so that he’s not kissing Molly proper. Distantly he thinks he hears Jester whistle, but if he does it’s instantly smothered by the warm buzzing in his brain. The world shifts out of focus, blurring at the edge but really he can’t be bother with much else, other then the gentle give of Molly’s mouth under his own. A sigh escapes him and he leans in closer, pulls Molly in tighter and half wonders why he’s waited to do this. Then their noses bump together and the sudden, unexpected pressure has them both pulling back.

Caleb is- stunned. For a moment the lights in the tavern are too bright and the murmur of the other patrons is too loud. He blinks

And blinks again, trying to pull his thoughts back into orbit around his head.

Molly is positively beaming at him

“That’s one tradition I can get behind.” he says. His hand come up to cup the back of Caleb’s jaw. “All good their, friend? Haven’t lost you have I?”

“Uuhe” Caleb stammers, eloquently.

And Mollymauk has the audacity to laugh. “Here’s to a long and mutually beneficial partnership, eh Mr. TeaLeaf?”

Caleb swallows.

He is utterly unprepared to provide for a family.

Charms and spells from HP’s universe in real life

Hi withclings, I hope to find you all well. Yes, I know I’ve been away for quite a while, but as you can imagine, lots of things were happening (and still are) and so I had little time to dedicate myself to other things besides work, and work and work as well. 

WHAT IS THIS ABOUT:

Time ago I published a little post about an idea based on Pop Culture Magick (from now on I’ll refer to this particular branch of magick as PCM), and as you may already know I’m a huge Potterhead, and a proud Ravenclaw.

If you don’t know what PCM is, I leave here a link you may find useful to find something more about this branch of the magick path: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIa0UyBnghY.

Now, just in case you skipped the first part of this post, I was saying that I’m a huge Potterhead, and since I’m experimenting with PCM, I couldn’t resist the chance to try out the HP spells applied to our world and real needs.

Words will always have power and even if the one I’m going to describe are from a fictional world, that doesn’t mean they’re not charged with energy, a power that in this case  comes from the love and emotions that each one of us Potterheads has felt during these years and always.

For this reason and experiment’s sake, I wanted to adapt HP’s spells for real purposes, so why don’t you give them a try too? 

I will start posting about a couple of spells, and then I will publish at least once a week a new spell with an explanation of their applications and use. 

HOW DOES THIS SHIT WORK? 

Well the idea is simple. Verbal spells can be used anywhere and anytime whether being used during a ritual or on the go, when we’re in need.

Shortly said, we have some options to use these spells and here it comes a little list for them: 

A witch can use them during a ritual when the cone of power is to be launched towards our goal, or when the witch is ready to transfer energy in an object that we’re charging with a goal.

The spell can be used just focusing on it for few seconds, using your wand (or your point finger) to draw a sigil or any other magickal rune/symbol chosen accordingly while pronouncing/thinking the spell word(s). 

You can carve the spell on candles, or using it as main sentence of will to draw your own sigil (and then gods know in how many ways you can use a sigil to let the magick happen) that can be used afterwards.

Why the wand? Well in my Craft I don’t use lots of tools, indeed I work mainly with a cauldron, wand, paper and inks or pens, and (in case you still had some doubts) the words; and regarding words I like to use Latin, Vulgar Latin, Dalian or Celthig (they’re conlangs I created) or even Esperanto (something I’m “testing” lately). The basic idea is that using a wand will turn on your magick mood, and will help you marking the difference between your mundane life, and your enchanted one.It works basically as a trigger for your inner mind in order to start magick, and never forget that magick begins and ends in somebody mind when this reaches the right type of consciousness. 

I will publish soon a new post with details on wand magick giving some ideas that you may find interesting.

Ok, so let’s start with the first two spells!!! 

APARECIUM

This spell in HP is used to make appear invisible ink on a paper that has been enchanted to not show what somebody wrote in it. The etymology of this word comes from the latin word aparire which of course means to appear, to manifest.

In real life we can use this word for divination, in order to make appear clearer a situation while using any divination method. It can also be used to help the witchling to find out needed info or the truth in those situations where you know people are hiding something from you. 

So the main idea of this spell is to make appear things that are hidden, but beware that just as in the books, if somebody will use magick as well to “hide” something or to not be psychically touched by any divination mean this spell will hardly work (in this case we may use another one). 

ACCIO

The summoning spell, as it’s known by any students of Hogwarts, can be used for it’s main and true meaning: attraction.

In Latin accio means literally “I summon, I withdraw, I attract to me” and for this it can be used when a witch wants to call somebody in his/er life. It can be a person we stopped seeing for a long time, it can be a quality we would like to attract or it can be especially useful when we have lost our keys and we’d like to find them.

Use this spell to call in your life what needed or wished, but please keep in mind that in case you’re using it to summon something a bit complicated, you will need to use it more often (which means repeating it more times in a day, like a mantra if you get me) or to spend bigger amount of energy to infuse the spell with, if necessary.

Last but not least, yes you can use it to attract a new job or money, but of course don’t expect that somebody will knock at the door with a job offer or a check, please put yourself at work so that the Universe will then easily find the way to manifest that energy you sent!

Alight these were the first two, please as always I invite you to let me know how it goes, and feel free to share with me any experience you may have using this spells. 

Before to leave don’t forget that depending on what you’re asking for by using this spell, they can work in a blink of an eye, or take longer just as it would be for any other spell/ritual. 

See you in the next post!