#my teachers that made me do introductions would be disappointed
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Hey! Could I request Aizawa and platonic 1A, 1B and shinsou x female reader
The idea I had is that reader is an American Hero who goes to Japan as a back up and she gains a spot at U.A as lets say Art or Music as a way of getting the students minds off of everything.
She do so well with the students and offers to take some of aizawa shifts if he's to tired. Aizawa slowly falls for her and she becomes a mom to the class kind of like how aizawa is dadzawa?
When its time for her to go back to America he gets really upset about it. Until she reveals that she is staying in Japan and will continue to work in U.A and as a pro-hero!
Teaching The Teacher
Author's Thoughts: This is so cute 🥺 mom teacher x dad teacher is so wholesome!
Warning: None.
Aizawa wasn't sure what to feel when he heard they would be hiring an art teacher. One one hand, he knew that he'd have to formally introduce himself, and he hated introductions. He hated socializing, preferring to stay to himself.
On the other hand, he knew that the students of UA needed a class like this, something recreational to look forward to. With everything going on, Aizawa could understand why a newer, more relaxing class was being introduced into the curriculum.
As you could imagine, these two feeling clashed in a way that had him anticipating and dreading your arrival at the same time. As he waited in the staff room, he was preparing his notes for you, notes that Midnight had decided everyone should write on troublesome students, or students you'd need more patience with.
The door opened, and Aizawa refused to look up. He didn't really care to, and eye contact was often awkward for him, as he had no polite smiles to offer. He heard Nezu introducing you properly, so he quietly greeted you with the others.
"Hello," you said with a smile. Your voice was so sweet and kind that Aizawa's eyes began to look up, drawn to your form. You held your hands in front of you and gave a small bow. "My name is Y/n L/n, and I'm from the United States. It's nice to meet all of you. I look forward to working with you and the students!"
Polite and to the point. Aizawa would have thought that introduction was found on the internet under "How to Introduce Yourself To New Coworkers". But somehow, he knew you meant every word.
The two of you made eye contact, but Aizawa didn't look away as he usually would. This time, he found himself nodding at you. This surprised him, but what surprised him more was that you began making your way over to him. Out of all of the people, you'd approach the least friendly looking.
Before you could reach him, Present Mic had stopped you in your tracks with his introduction. Aizawa didn't know if he was glad or disappointed, but he also didn't know why he'd had any reason to feel disappointed. Deciding that dwelling on his confusion about his feelings wasn't going to help him understand, he silently waited until everyone had talked to you.
When you finally made it to him, he was in his chair, looking for his notes one last time. You looked down at him and smiled. When you'd made eye contact earlier, you found him attractive. Now, after getting a better look at him, you decided that he looked great up close too.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you." You held out your hand to the man, and he watched it almost hesitantly. "Like I said, I'm Y/n L/n, but feel free to call me Y/n."
Sighing, Aizawa stood up and shook your hand firmly. The more he looked into your eyes, the prettier he noticed they were. "Aizawa Shota. Pleasure's mine, Miss L/n."
He heard you when you insisted your first name was fine, but he never usually called others by their first names. It felt too personal. Mic was an exception to that because of how long they'd known each other. Even then, he rarely called him by his given name in public.
Then he remembered the notes in his hands and held them out to you. "Here are my notes for my students. They can be a handful, but they're good kids." He said, watching as you gingerly took the packet and gave the cover a once over.
You couldn't help but give him a small grin. It was cute how formal it was. He wrote it like a genuine instruction manual and even included a cover letter. "Thank you. So many notes... You must be very fond of them." You pointed out.
He looked away, before speaking, and silently letting you know that what he was about to say wasn't exactly the full truth. "It's nothing like that. As I said, they're a handful, so keep that on hand. And don't tell them about any of this, I don't need them getting the wrong idea too."
You nodded and placed it on top of the other notes you were given. It was almost like you talking to a parent, informing a teacher about their child's needs and habits.
....
Aizawa had to admit, you were doing an amazing job.
The student's loved you so much, they talked about you in his class. About how patient you are, how kind you are. Surprisingly, how you don't stand for misbehavior, always diffusing a difficult situation in the best way possible. He fought back the urge to go speak to you, actually finding himself nervous to do so. He didn't have a reason, after all. Not until today, that is.
Denki had teased Aizawa that day, yes, teased Aizawa, on how much he loved them. On how he'd called them "good kids". How much care he'd put into their notes. Immediately, he knew who to go to.
You were cleaning up supplies from your busy day. Aizawa was right, the students could be a handful, but you loved them all nonetheless. Despite being a lot to handle, they were lively and fun to be around.
"I can see why Aizawa loves them so much." You mused to yourself aloud. You didn't expect to hear a response, let alone from the man himself.
"I don't think that's what I said." He leaned against the door frame, watching you jump a bit and whip around. You placed your hand over your heart, and his lips curled up into a smile as a small pout appeared in your face.
"You nearly gave me a heart attack!" You sighed, leaning back against one of the tables. "Don't you know it's impolite to sneak up on others?"
Aizawa walked into the classroom, hands in his pocket. Once in front of you, he rose an eyebrow before asking, "Isn't it impolite to talk about others when they aren't around? Especially when talking about something they told you not to talk about."
You looked confused for a moment, and then it dawned on you and you laughed nervously. "Oh yeah... Well... I had good reason." You claimed, watching him tilt his head.
"Oh?" He took his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms, looking down at you expectantly. "What reason might that be?"
You looked away and smiled. "The students were talking about you. About how much they loved you, but it didn't seem like they knew how much you cared too. So... I might have mentioned those things." You slowly looked up at him. "I just wanted them to know."
He stared down at you and you were worried you'd made him upset. Then he pulled his scarf up closer and look away. "... What else did they say about me?" He asked quietly.
You stared at him wide-eyed before breaking out into a grin. "Oh, Mr. Aizawa. Should I be telling you that? I mean, you were just scolding me a moment ago..." You teased, walking past him and hanging you paint-covered apron with the others.
When you turned around, he was already sitting, waiting for you to sit across from him and tell him everything his students said. You giggled at his expectant gaze and walked over.
The two of you talked for far longer than you thought you would. About how they felt about him, and about you. You were overjoyed to hear that they liked you.
"What about you?" You asked, leaning your cheek against your palm. You weren't sure why, but you were eager for an answer. "Do you like having me around too?"
Aizawa took a moment to think before he started speaking. "I think having you around does a lot of good for the students." He noticed how despite your smile never faltering, you slouched a bit, as if disappointed. "... Talking to you isn't so bad either. I find it nice, Miss L/n." He said quietly.
You immediately perked up and nodded in agreement. "I think so too!" You said happily, and Aizawa chuckled at how easy you were to read.
He was cut off by a sudden, long yawn. You watched him reach up and rub at his eyes. You'd noticed long ago that he looked tired all the time, but now seemed like a good time to ask.
"Are you okay?" You asked, tilting your head. "You seem tired. Very tired. "
He sighed and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. I always did my hero work at night. I'm not used to being up during the day."
You frowned, immediately trying to rack your brain for a solution. Then your face lit up, just like the imaginary light bulb over your head would have, at least that's what Aizawa thought.
"I have a solution."
....
Class 1-A was confused the next morning. They expected their usual grumpy teacher to come in and give them instructions, then fall asleep on the floor. Morning classes were usually harder on him.
Instead, you walked in with a bounce in your step. "Morning, guys! How are the future heroes of Japan doing today?" You asked, standing at the podium and placing the work sheets Aizawa gave you on them.
You were given confused greetings and looks. Denki spoke up first, furrowing his eyebrows. "Where's Mr. Aizawa?"
"Yeah, is he okay?" Mina asked with concern. It wasn't like Aizawa to not show up, even if he was exhausted.
"If only Aizawa could see how worried they are first him." You thought to yourself, before speaking out to put them at ease. "Mr. Aizawa is okay. I'm just picking up his class while he picks up on some long-needed rest."
You remembered the way Aizawa trudged into your classroom, or rather scooted, in that sleeping bag of his. You had to cover your mouth to keep a giggle from slipping, but he was so cute.
He ended up going into a corner and thanking you quietly, then passing out. Thankfully, you had prepared a sheet and pillow since both of you had discussed this yesterday.
The class exchanged looks, noticing how you smiled wider when talking about their teacher. Just like Aizawa had said, it seemed you were easy to read.
The class seemed to go by smoothly. Everyone seemed eager to learn, and happy with you walking around and making sure everything was alright. The only thing that struck you as odd was how they talked about Aizawa much more than usual. It was as if they were trying to get you to talk about him.
They did the same thing when Aizawa came back. They behaved and did exactly as told, happy to do anything. But they couldn't stop talking about you for some reason.
You and Aizawa were professionals, so you tried to stay on topic. But that didn't mean you weren't thinking about each other. In fact, you would continue to for the rest of the school year.
....
Months of having your students secretly try to set you up.
Months switching shifts and having Aizawa stay for art classes too.
Months of falling in love with each other.
It all led up to this. The last day of school. Your final day working here.
Aizawa was particularly quiet on this day. He found himself feeling disappointed. Of course he'd fall in love with the temporary teacher. That was just his luck.
Classes went by quickly, and his students were getting restless. He had to confess to you today, or else it wouldn't work out. But not only was he just not engaging in conversation about you, which he'd started doing a bit more often, but he was avoiding talking about you at all. The students saw no other choice; They had to trick him.
"Mr. Aizawa." Midoriya said to the sleepy man at the end of class, smiling nervously when Aizawa gave him a look. It was as if he was daring him to say something about you again. But he had to, for both and Aizawa. "Miss Y/n needs some help in the art room!" He exclaimed before running off.
Aizawa stared at where Izuku stood and them sighed, shaking his head. "There's something wrong with that boy..." He muttered, collecting his things and making his way to your classroom.
Admittedly, he was nervous. He knew that he'd have to speak with you eventually, and couldn't let you leave with a goodbye. But how do you say goodbye to someone you've fallen in love with, someone you thought was the one? No, you couldn't be the one. If you were, things wouldn't have ended like this.
When he walked into the room and shut the door, he let out a small laugh. There you were, struggling to untie your apron. You looked at him and huffed, your cheeks puffing out.
"Not funny, Aizawa. I'm stuck." You whined, letting your hands fall to your sides. You looked as if you were ready to just cut the apron off.
As funny as that would have been, Aizawa decided to give you a hand. Walking over, he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder and turned you around. "Let me see." He murmured softly.
You felt your face get got as you quietly agreed. His fingers worked calmly at the tight knot and he furrowed his eyebrows. "Why is it this knotted up?"
You smiled and shook your head, knowing you were going to sound silly. "Ah, well, it kept coming loose. So I got frustrated and just went to town. But hey, at least it's not come loose anymore."
"Mhm. Now it's just not coming off." He chuckled, smiling to himself as you giggled. You were probably the only person other than Mic and Miss Joke that found him funny. "So... Is this what you told Midoriya you needed?"
This time it was your turn to furrow your eyebrows. "... Huh? I didn't say anything to Midoriya. Well, other than telling him not to overdo it again."
Aizawa sighed softly. Of course, you hadn't. Still, now was as good a time as any to say his goodbyes.
"Mhm, well... I wanted to speak with you." He said, managing to pull one string from the knot. "It's very important."
You immediately got serious and nodded, trying to turn around, but being stopped by Aizawa. "Okay, but if it's so important, shouldn't I turn around?"
"Stay like this. I'm making progress anyways." He said, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing.
He took a deep breath and began to say what was on his mind. "When you first started here, I had no idea what to expect. I dreaded meeting you but I was just relieved the students would have you. I never imagined you'd end up teaching me something though." He said, trying not to focus on how hard his chest was beating. He hadn't been this nervous in years.
You didn't look back, but you knew your heart was beating fast too. You were hoping for a confession, but you weren't counting on it. Still, it sounded like it was going to happen. "What did I teach you?" You asked quietly.
He chuckled at how soft your voice had gotten. "You taught me a lot. How to be understanding. How to be more caring." He slowly turned you around and the both of you immediately locked eyes.
He reached around to the back of your neck and pulled the apron over your head. "How to fall in love." He said quietly, leaning into you. You leaned in, pressing your lips against his in a short, sweet kiss. He returned it, wrapping his arms around you. He was thankful that he'd closed the door.
When you both pulled away, he laid his head against yours. "... How to accept losing that love." He murmured.
Your eyes widened and you looked up, not understanding what he meant. "What do you mean?" You asked.
"You're leaving, remember? It's your last day." He said as if it were too obvious, pulling you into a hug.
You sat there in confusion before looking up at him. "I'm not leaving today. I'm not leaving at all." You said.
He quickly pulled away, looking down at you with furrowed brows. "What? But..." He trailed off, watching as you quickly pulled out your phone.
Your face went from confusion to shock, mouth agape. "Oh... I'm sorry, Aizawa. I tried texting you, but I guess I missed the send button." You looked up at him. "I love the students. I love you. I'm not going."
He stared at you with a blank look before sighing heavily. "So I just... confessed..." He trailed again.
You laughed and pecked his lips. "Mm, it wasn't for nothing. Now we can teach each other to grow old together."
Laughing softly with you, he sighed. "I'm always excited about one of your lessons, Y/n."
#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#x reader#fluff#aizawa shota x reader#aizawa shota#shota aizawa x reader
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Which MHA characters do you think had the most wasted/lost development? Mine has to be Present Mic, dude is one of the only UA teacher with braincells and the story does almost nothing with him, even though he was also friends with Oboro like Aizawa was. It genuinelly makes me upset how much the story wasted him.
For this, I’m not going to include characters that Hori made only to be in the background even if I feel that if Hori wanted to, he could’ve made compelling stories out of them (like Tooru, Yui, etc.). I 100% agree about Present Mic.
Mezou- sure he had his one moment but imo he should’ve had far more moments. He’s the perfect character to explore the discrimination mutants face. Him being a parallel with Spinner should’ve been played with way more than what we’ve got.
Minoru- hot choice, I know, but as a character who’s meant to be a underdog who starts off as a selfish coward and turns into a hero in his own right, we should’ve gotten more development out of him.
Neito- Someone mentioned how he could’ve been another rival to Izuku and I wholeheartedly agree. Hori had Neito go from having what was one of the coolest introductions to a character in the series to a running gag and it’s seriously disappointing.
Hitoshi- As much as I rag on him, he had immense potential as shown by his recent performance in the war arc. Problem is Hori cut so many corners around him and it weakens both him as a character and the message his character tells.
Ochako and Tenya- both deserved more screen time than what they’ve gotten.
Himiko- Hori treats Himiko as a fetish than an actual character sometimes. One of the posts in my pinned mentions how Himiko’s character could’ve been better handled.
Natsuo and Fuyumi- I would honestly like to see what it was like for Natsuo and Fuyumi, the “rejects” of the family, to have to live with Endeavor.
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Hi! Thank you for reflagging my little rwrb ask game. Here are some numbers as another thank you and because I’m a little bit curious :)
1, 2, 11, 12 and 16 💜
Feel free to ignore the ones you don’t feel like answering, if there are some!
First and foremost thank you so much for making this ask game!!! and also thank you for asking me!!! Writing this was really fun :D
What was your introduction to Red, White and Royal Blue? How did you become aware of it, what was your first impression of it?
It was completely coincidental. The day the trailer came out it popped up on my recommendation, and I was intrigued so I watched it, and then I couldn't stop watching it. I swear, within like, three days, I watched it at least 30 times, and I ran to get the book two days later
My first impression after watching the trailer for the first time was that it looks a little cliche, like something I'd find on Ao3, but it also looks like a genuinely fun and delightful movie, and I think I would have a really good time watching it. And I did!
2. Team Alex or Team Henry? (I know you love them both equally but choose anyway. OR choose depending of the circumstances. Like, "I’d go shopping with Alex but I’d marry Henry. Or I’d hug Alex but I’d go karaoke with Henry. I don’t know. Try something.)
I love both boys in both universes/mediums in different ways, but I'd say I personally relate a lot more to Henry, particularly movie Henry
11. Choose your prison. Would you rather live in a royal palace or in the White House?
If we're talking about the buildings themselves, I'd say the palace, mostly because I grew up with fairy tales and I like that regal, medieval/classical/romantic aesthetic.
12. Share one of your unpopular opinions about the book and/or the movie.
Ooo, this is gonna be a slightly longer one. I was thinking about making a full post on this but I might as well just answer it here.
This has to do with the bonus chapter: I didn't really like it? Or more accurately, it made me feel kind of... disappointed or sad. With all due respect to Casey of course.
It took some time but I came to terms with Alex wanting to work in smaller law firms, especially after talking to my law student friends. My issue is Henry's abdication.
It's just, so much of the original book is about making history, about being in a prominent position AND being gay. Henry keeps track of gay monarchs, and they tend to have to hide or give up something one way or another: King James I had to commission the translation of the bible and sort of... lie about his relationship (I'm technically not religious, but I did read the bible a lot as a kid, and I really don't think the relationship between Jesus Christ and John, namely teacher and disciple is comparable to a very, very homoerotic relationship), and King Edward II (Yes there are two gay kings in Henry's name) had to exile his lover. So to have Henry finally be a royal who can keep both his title and his love would be historical, just as they said they wanted. Henry can step back from royal duties without stepping down: irl Princess Beatrice while still a working royal, had a full-time job in 2017 and split her time between New York and London. Henry could have done something like that. I understand that in the book the royal family is a lot stricter, rigid, and overall awful than in both real life and the portrayal of the movie, but I thought that with Princess Catherine coming back to take charge at the end, things would improve, fixing the system instead of going "fuck the system". Also this might be because of certain things happening in my life right now, but I'm kind of sick of seeing stories where you have to choose one, instead of coming to a compromise. You don't get all the good, you don't get all the bad, you find somewhere in between, and that's okay.
Plus given the more benevolent portrayal of Henry's family, especially his grandfather in the movie (I wrote a whole essay about it), if we get a movie sequel, I really don't want Henry to abdicate, and it also makes less sense.
But then Casey posted a story about their thoughts when writing the bonus chapter, about the boys taking a break from making history, not giving up; preserving their flame instead of letting it burn so hard that it burns out. That made me wonder if my perspective and opinion on the bonus chapter are affected by me being young.
16- Pick a line and/or a quote for each:
-You have to sell the book/movie to someone who doesn't know anything about it.
Bith "But you're the one who decided to put your dick into the heir of the British throne!"
yeah I think that summarizing the initial selling point pretty well
-The quote that makes you the most emotional.
Romance/ Love wise:
Book: the entire fucking list, but also "give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you." (I started sobbing when I read it)
Movie: "I'll break the sound barrier for you. "
Lines that make me emotional for personal reasons:
Book: "I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do."
Movie: "But Henry, Nothing will ever happen to you."
(I feel like just from that you could tell what my personal issue is lmao)
-A quote/line that could be a life lesson to you.
Both: "Sometimes you just gotta jump, and hope you're not standing on a cliff."
This was so much fun! Again thank you for sending in the numbers, and if anyone else wants to ask me (the list is here!) please do!
#rwrb#red white and royal blue#rwrb movie#firstprince#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#henry hanover stuart fox#rwrb book#rwrb thoughts#rwrb ask meme#I really like talking about my thoughts and I have a lot of them
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twelve chairs
An echoing room. A circle of chairs. A dozen people from all walks of life. There’s a lawyer. A dentist. A high school teacher. A cashier. A student. An Avenger. I don’t remember what the others do, their introductions have already been removed from my brain’s memory.
Someone (a feminine voice) is speaking. I can only register broken pieces of her speech. “…Wanda”. Without my permission, my voice joins the choir of “Hello Wanda” that rebounds off the walls of the worn down room. My eyes flitter to take in the surroundings. The room is small and bleak, the only decoration is a wooden cross on the wall. The white paint is peeling off the walls, revealing a layer of green paint underneath.
“I realized I couldn’t get through the day without my glass of red wine anymore.” I hear Wanda explain in the background. I’ve heard this story a hundred times before. Day after day, different people recount the same shameful story of how the thing they thought was their saving grace, the solution to all their problems, turned out to be their doom. It’s the story of so many women and men who were struggling to stay afloat and reached for the only thing that would help them survive. And when that very thing destroyed the lives and relationships they had fought so hard to build, they stuck to it, sinking deeper and deeper into their addiction.
My mind doesn’t stick around to hear Wanda's story. It’s no different than the lawyer’s story, they become undistinguishable after a while. With every mouth that utters the words “I couldn’t stop anymore”, the room seems to shrink, the walls closing in on me until they suffocate me and force me to escape to the outside world. For some reason, today my limbs don’t move, they stay seated on the wobbly iron chair.
I have been where my companions are. I have woken up in the morning with my brain screaming for the bottle. But I got over it. I changed. I dried myself out and rewired my brain until even thinking of taking one sip felt forbidden. And I was doing well. For five years, I was the only owner of my thoughts and feelings. Every word that left my mouth was mine. Every step taken, mine. And then, suddenly, it all came to a halt. Like someone had pulled the emergency break on my world. Half a bottle of vodka is all it took.
One sip. I feel fine. This isn’t so bad. Two sips, I won’t get drunk, I just want to loosen up and have a fun with my friends. Three sips. The voices in my head are growing quiet. The silence is blissful. Four sips. I can stop at anytime. Five sips. Why do I feel so nostalgic for this burning sensation that is spreading through my body? It keeps me warm, it makes me feel alive.
Six months pass by in a flash. The familiar warm feeling quickly becomes a heaviness that weighs down my body and strangles my thoughts. I get into more arguments. I fight with people I never want to fight with. I see the hurt and disappointment on my loved one’s faces. I am trying to stop. I can’t. I need someone to talk to, to confess my weakness. I don’t have anyone. The loneliness is driving me crazy.
I am ripped back to the present by someone calling my name. “Y/N! What is your story? Do you want to share with the group?”. Eleven pairs of eyes are staring at me, through me.
My story? My story is that of a person who made one bad choice, bringing out the worst version of themselves. It’s the story of someone who lost control and fell for their biggest fear. It’s the tale of a person that I don’t recognize when I gaze at my reflection in the mirror. A dark creature that I don’t want to be.
My mouth doesn’t open. My body finally awakens from it’s rigidity and I feel my legs carry me across the room, through the door and into the rainy afternoon that awaits outside. The doubt that has been clouding my thoughts for weeks seems to have dissipated. I know who I am. I am not an alcoholic. I am a person who drinks and struggles to stop. But I can and I will stop. I have done it before. I will do it again.
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3, 8, and 25 for the choose violence ask game!
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
I mean obviously there are a lot of Vikings ones that I disagree with... that's boring (also I fought those fights in real time and now I'm over it lol). I'm gonna commit to choosing violence and pick the last jedi.
The take on Rose as being someone who abused Finn and was a terrible person the film was trying to "pretend" was a good person. It was essentially this long post about how Rose's initial introduction marked her as a terrible person who abused Finn and the end of the film was terrible for shipping Finn with his abuser. It's one I hated very much and its one I dislike all the more because I do agree with some of the points made even as I really disagree with the conclusion (and one glaring implication that we will get to).
Because here's the thing, even as a TLJ fan I agree with a lot of the criticism TLJ gets, including and actually especially about Finn's arc within that film. I like the overall idea and some beats, but I think that there was a lot that the film missed out on by having Rose operate as "teacher" rather than having them both share their experiences and allowing Finn to come to his realizations a little differently. And I would go further because I could choose violence on this subject too but actually let me get back to the topic at hand...
Back to the terrible Rose takes, I think the reason it galled me so much is because while people were very correctly discussing the issues surrounding Disney's racism and the films treatment of Finn (and John Boyega).... at the same time their arguments about Rose often had... implications that I found very uncomfortable.
Because the thing is... Rose's intro... that people found abusive... it's a parallel to Rey's first meeting with Finn. This woman sees him, makes an incorrect (but reasonable) assumption based on the info she has on hand that this guy needs to be taken down, and takes him down. Then, after he explains, she realizes what is actually going on, helps him, and then they work together. Rey is violent towards Finn in her first meeting with him too. But with her it's a cute rom-com right, with her it's a sign of how much she's fiery? Like I think people fully had a blindspot to the disparity of their treatment of Rey vs Rose.
And part of the reason I think it's so bad is because it didn't have to be like this! I think you absolutely can critique the films and Rey and Rose as characters... you can very easily criticize the decision to treat Finn like this. So it's disappointing to me I guess, that people chose to, at the same time, kind of join in on the racist pile-on that Rose (and KMT) was getting. Like she was getting it from all corners of the internet... but what else is new for actors of color I guess.
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
Switching gears and moving to a fandom nobody but me cares about: Psych. I cannot believe Shawn x Gus (Shus) is not more popular than Shawn x Lassiter. I mean, I can believe it because people are often wrong. But come on! Shawn and Gus would DIE for each other, Gus claims Shawn on his taxes, Shawn and Gus practically have a secret language! They literally joined a dating show for a case and the girl revealed that she couldn't really separate them because they were so close. I mean, keep in mind they are Holmes and Watson... and yet people basically ignored them.
25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
I'm gonna be honest, my thing here... it's pretty much for fandoms that I am not a part of.... Basically when like hugely popular tv shows are popular on tumblr and people are complaining about fandom trends (everybody likes X, Y is so prevalent, everyone ignores this ship). I want to be clear, I think you should always criticize things like racism, homophobia, misogyny, ableism... those things will run rampant in a lot of fandoms, because they run rampant in society at large, those aren't trends, they're not what I'm talking about. But like if your fandom is big enough that you can create an entire subculture around character B even though character A is more popular in the "main stream", I think you shouldn't take that for granted. Your sub culture has sub cultures, that's not nothing, a lot of fandoms aren't that big and can't sustain that. Lol, this might be me being upset and petty, I feel like none of my fandoms are big enough to even get to that point. No sub-sub culture for me!
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Hi mum maybe a silly q but I just started my last year of hs (17) and I was wondering if you had any advice for me. I have no idea what to do with my life and I'm panicking. Sometimes I can't even sleep at night because it already feels like time is running out and I've never had a bf and I don't know what to do next year and ppl just tell me 'you'll figure it out!!' and I just panic even more because I've been trying to figure it out for years and I still don't have any answers!
Hello dear,
The first thing I want to do is to reassure you - not only time is not running out, but it hasn't even started running. It's going to start ticking when you graduate. Think of everything you've known so far as some type of introduction - real life is about to start, and it is very exciting.
In a nutshell, the world is your oyster. High school is a weird moment in someone's life because you're supposed to start thinking about your studies, future career, driving license, money, taxes and all that jazz while you're still expected to ask permission to go to the bathroom. On top of that, you're surrounded by adults whose only mission is to stress you out about exams and your future.
When I was in my first year of high school, I had a classmate who had a plan for life, where she was going to marry her current boyfriend at 18, buy a house at 20, get her dream job at 22, have her first kid at 23 and her second at 25. From anyone over the age of 26, that just looks like burnout (and a long series of disappointments) waiting to happen. But when you're that age, it feels like what everyone tells you the future is going to be like, even if you didn't give yourself deadlines. When I was little, I fully thought I'd be married with kids at 18, and yet here I am, 12 years later, with no ring on my finger and relieved that it didn't happen because it would have been the stupidest mistake I could have made at that age.
My advice is to not try to meet other people's expectations of you. Don't have kids because mum is asking for grandchildren. Don't study law because your history teacher thinks you'd be a good lawyer. Don't drop hobbies because people think it's a waste of time. If you can't debate it, it's not the right thing to do - typically, it's a decision made for you by either capitalism or tradition.
I'm giving those examples because they're my experience. I went to a uni that was 30km away from where I grew up because I didn't even think about other options. I could have moved to the other side of France! taken a gap year and travelled! moved to England and gone to uni there! become a professional pianist or a ballet dancer! But I didn't even realise it was an option, and I didn't do it.
People often give you suggestions because they didn't reach their own goals so that they can live vicariously through you - sometimes they're even trying to make you fail because they're jealous that you have an option and they feel stuck. You don't have to listen and probably shouldn't anyway, because not only they don't know what you want, but they're thinking of success in terms of money and power and maybe you're just dreaming of peace and adventure and you're allowed to.
One last thing I'd like to share is a lesson I got from my philosophy teacher when I was your age: you will never stop changing, therefore will only be able to define yourself after your death. So keep asking yourself what you want, how it's different from your previous answers, listen to your gut, wonder what your perfect day looks like and how you can get there. That's all you need to know. You have one shot at life. Don't spend it trying to please people who don't care what you want.
Love,
Mum
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Pokémon Anime Retrospective
Since today is the day that Ash is leaving the anime, I thought it would be fitting to look back on the all the series that I watched with Ash and reminisce.
So, let's go!!
Pokémon: Indigo League
I've watched a few episodes here and there, especially the first two. I downloaded the first and second episodes as a kid back in 2012 from some random website and used to watch them a lot.
The first episode is my favourite because it has a banger English opening (I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was-) and it always makes me laugh.
One of my favourite quotes actually come from the first episode! Professor Oak says "The early bird gets the worm, or in this case, the Pokémon." I used it to describe one of my old primary school teachers, he was always late for parking so he could never get a proper parking space. He would instead park on the dirt and I would always say "The early bird gets the worm, or in this case, the parking spot."
That was in 2016 wow.....I'm old lol
I think it was my first introduction to the existence of the anime, so good going young me!
I uh never watched the season in Johto I'm sorry-
Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire
I had a disc of one of Pokémon Advance volumes that I used to watch a lot so I'm fond of this anime. I've watched a few episodes here and there. I remember Ash and May both yelling at each other for some reason lol
My favourite Pokémon movie comes from this generation! Pokémon Ranger and The Temple of The Sea.
I remember watching it on television as a kid one day since it was on and I had nothing better to do. And I really loved it, the story and the relationship between May and Manaphy....so good. It made me like Pokémon even more, every time it was on television I would sit down and watch as much as I could (because every single time I got interrupted for some reason and I was always so disappointed lol).
The English openings are so good! My favourite is Unbeatable!
Pokémon Diamond and Pearl
I remember watching episodes on my television as a kid, although I never was really into it until way later like in 2021 while I was playing Pokémon Platinum on my DS. All the Pokémon artists I followed always drew Dawn and showed the anime and I was like "yes I like this now too" haha
Sinnoh is high on my regions list.
I really like Dawn, she's just so cool. I also learnt that Dawn is called Hikari in Japan and now I use both names for her lol
I've watched a range of episodes here and there! The English openings for DP are fire, I like to listen to them from time to time. My favourite is We Will Be Heroes, I love singing it.
My favourite Japanese opening is Together, so good.
Didn’t watch Black and White either…..
sorry lol
Pokemon XY and XYZ
My favourite Pokémon anime! I watched this one the most, it was always on television so I used to sit with my brother and watch it. I think I have the most memories and nostalgia here.
I think Amourshipping was one of my first ships for Pokémon, I freaking love Serena and Ash. I think my favourite scene with them was the Snowbelle arc or the ending. I even used to write stories about them aha
Ash-Greninja was the bomb.
I love all the English openings to this anime, they're all so good! My favourite one is Be A Hero, since that was the one which played the most for me lol
My friend likes Stand Tall, which is really good too! And my favourite Japanese Opening is Iku Z, so catchy.
Pokémon Sun and Moon
I didn't actually like the anime at first for some reason lol
Maybe it was the art style change but I didn't really watch it until I saw a few clips and episodes and suddenly I liked it. It's really goofy yet the story gets more serious at times and it's a fun season!
I love Lillie, her growth was so awesome. And I love her Alolan Vulpix, Snowy! Man I really love Alola.
I was following the end of the series since everyone was talking about it and I remember the moment Ash became the champion of Alola, it was amazing.
I think this series was the first time I finally learnt that Ash was called Satoshi in Japan and now I use both names lol
Pokémon Journeys
This was the first Pokémon anime I followed from the very beginning, I think I watched a good twenty or so episodes before I stopped and fell behind and never tried to catch up again lol
But I did keep up with what happened in each episode and watched the episodes I really wanted to watch (like Serena's episode or the ones with Lillie's family).
Speaking of Serena's episode, I remember the leaks. That was a time to be on Anipoke Twitter. It was just a poster but people were freaking out, including me. And Serena really did come back!
I did like Journeys at the end, especially the Japanese opening 1.2.3! It's so good! I can sing it all lol
Seeing Ash win and become the world champion....was amazing. Everyone was freaking out and I was too! I watched the episode and I was so proud of him. He did it!
The end of a era....
I can't believe that Ash is going, he was a part of my childhood and he really made me smile. I also can't believe the future generation won't watch Ash (or even know who he is, if I ever have kids I'm making them watch Ash lol).
Thank you for all the fun memories Ash! Satoshi! I will always remember you!
(I think I'll cry if I watch the final episode, I don't want to say goodbye just yet.)
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I don't like sulky friends.
So I'll start with a little introduction.
I'm Luna (not my real name ofc).
I live in a hostel. I just have 3 close friends here( let's name them- Siri, Shiny, Sunny) (yes, all their names start with an S). We all are on the same floor.
My first friend here was Siri, so naturally I'm closest with here. She was the first person with whom i had so many common interests - books, kpop, kdramas, webtoons, Harry Potter, anime, BTS. We clicked really quick. And our world views kind of matched too. This was my first time making friends in the last 5 years.
Shiny was a little intimidating to talk to. But i really wanted to be friends with her. I thought she didn't like me at first because, for one, we didn't talk very much and secondly, she really does have a resting b**ch face. She's a real pro in hostel life so i think she wasn't exactly looking to make friends (unlike me). But gradually we starting talking, it started with food, then kdramas, then we started having common teachers. There was a lot to talk about. I like her, she's really just so chill about everything and she never undermines her opinions even against majority (i aspire to be like that someday, but for now I'm fine staying silent).
Sunny lives infront of my room. It took me around a month to properly talk to her. It's just we didn't have any interests in common, so we just used to say Hi in the hallways and that was it. But again, food melted the ice. I really like being around her, even though we don't have much common interests we really are alike in other aspects- our priorities(studies), humour. And ++++ she's really humble. I feel at ease with her.
I wanted to rant about Siri. She's a nice person, I won't take that from her, but only to those she wants to be nice to. I don't really find anything wrong with that but then she's constantly judging some people even though they haven't really done anything to her (or anyone) except for existing and having a personality she doesn't like. There's this girl in our hostel, she's annoying, I don't like the way she talks, it's like she is looking down on the other person. Naturally, Siri doesn't like her either. She used to call her names and make faces at her indirectly. It's fine if it's just a few times and just with us, but then she started doing it everytime we saw that girl, which was everyday- during dinner. A point came where she very loudly called her something bad (not pointing at here, just looking at her food) and everybody was looking at her and seeing whom she was referring to. It was too much for me. To hate a real person who hasn't done any real harm to you is not something I like. We told her we didn't like that. Few days later, she made a face again on seeing her, I was really annoyed, I asked her what problem does she have with her. She just says " it's just her face, those dots" with a disgusted expression. I was disappointed, really, i thought she was a better person. We told her that that's really rude. She stopped talking after that. I guess she reflected on that, she hasn't done anything more yet.
There are times I don't like her at all. But then we get together and have so much fun that i feel guilty about having such thoughts about her. I guess it was because because she didn't do any wrongdoings against me.
But today, i don't feel guilty anymore.
That's why I'm writing it all down here to get it out of my chest and forget everything and just focus on my goal.
I was sick today. It's winter, so it's really common to get a cough and cold, right? That's what i had. Me, Siri and Sunny went for evening snacks. We went out to buy some essentials too. Then we went to our rooms. An hour later my parents tell me to get some meds. It was already dark out, so i didn't want to go alone. And it would just take 5 mins to get everything and come back so i didn't want all of them to tag along. I didn't want to disturb Sunny and Siri again (they could've been studying), so, I went to ask Shiny whether she would like to come or not. She was ready instantly, so we went and got meds real quick. When Siri got to know this she got really upset, visibly upset.
Before moving ahead let me just add that this was not the first she got upset at me and Shiny for going out alone. There was one more time when we were all going for evening snacks, but she was sleeping so she didn't want to come. After the snacks Sunny went up, to her room (she had to study). Me and Shiny didn't want to go to our rooms, so we went out, had some beverages. We ofc snapped all of those to Siri and Sunny. So this was the time she first got upset at us. I understand that.
Coming back to today, she's upset again. I understand that too, but this time it's not really on us for going out alone. You cannot always ask everybody whether they want to come or not when you just have to buy one small thing. We (me and Shiny) went to her room after dinner, because she's upset with us and also a little bit sick. We didn't want her to feel alone. She opened her door but she was talking to her family. So, we decided to wait at her door (we shy, we didn't want her family to see us, also I don't think she wanted us to enter (that's fair)). We waited there for about 20 mins. When our warden came for night attendance, she came out, signed, and locked the door. We were still standing. Infront of her door. I felt really disrespected.
I don't want to apologise to her anymore. I get it that she's sick and it's normal to be sulky when sick, but it's not like this is the first time. We were apologizing even though we had done nothing wrong. I don't like friends whom i have to babysit.
I feel really restless. I don't want anyone to ever read this. But secretly, i do.
I don't hate her. But these childish sulking really annoys me. If you want alone time just tell us, if you are upset just tell us. But no! She just had this sulking face and waited with us at dinner table. Then to just close her door at our faces when we had been waiting there silently for that long. People need to understand that your friends aren't going to treat you like your parents do when you are sulking. Buying you food or gifts and apologising to. No one wants a friendship where you are just tiptoeing around the other person in case their inner child wakes up (which in her case is pretty often) and then having to babysit them.
This is frustrating. Because i know tomorrow or the day after, it would be her whom i would be vibing to Run BTS in my room. I like spending time with her. But that's just it. I don't think i have really strong friendly feelings for her.
Maybe I'm just really angry right now.
Let's see what tomorrow holds.
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A Well-Tempered Blade
Chapter 2: Starry Eyes
Summary: Katherine has a lousy quirk. At least, that's what everyone says. After all, who would want to be able to mimic any sound they hear? That's no quirk for a hero. But Katherine's quirk is not mimicry, but something worse; something that would get her labelled a villain the second she revealed it. So to keep her family she hides her quirk, not even telling her closest friends her secret. But secrets must eventually come into the lights, and Katherine's are no exception.
2.3k/16k, no romance, angst? oc
A/N: Had some fun with chapter. I really wanted to showcase the generational trauma and how Katherine's family really do care about her. The pace of the story made it a little difficult though, so if anyone wants to know more please comment or message me! Anywho, hope you enjoy!
Content Warnings (will be announced by the chapter): Bullying based on quirk, knives, family/generational trauma, I think? cutting, I think? As always, let me know if I missed any.
“You know, you should try to learn ventriloquism,” Kai said. He, Sunē, and Katherine were walking side by side to their first day of middle school. Since that day in elementary school, Sunē and Katherine had been nigh inseparable. Kai had joined, but would still hesitate to defend the two if anything happened, which it did quite frequently.
After all, Sunē was seen as a villain waiting to happen, and Katherine was never far from her side.
“Yeah, Kat! Think of it, drawing the villains’ attention to some corner while we snuck up behind them!” Katherine giggled at the idea. Even through the constant bullying about her and her best friend’s quirk, she and Sunē had been dead set on being heroes. The bullying just added fuel to the fire.
“That’s not a bad idea! I might be able to get some computer time and start trying to figure it out.”
“Good! You should also look for defense courses, when you get the chance of course. We don’t want you to get hurt,” Kai said as the three reached the gates of their new school.
“Don’t worry, I will. What’s your guy’s homeroom?” Kai and Sunē checked their schedules, frowns creasing their faces.
“I’ve got E1. Kai?”
“F1. Katherine? Are you in either of those classes?” Katherine checked her own schedule, and her face fell.
“No, my homeroom is C1.” The schedule comparing began, and the trio was dismayed to realize that they could only see each other at lunch.
“Well, at least we still get before and after school,” said Sunē, ever the optimist. Kai shrugged in disappointment, and Katherine tried to hide hers with a half-hearted, “sure.”
“Well, I’ll see you guys at lunch,” Kai said, walking into the building. Sunē walked into the building, Katherine at her side. They came to an intersection, and Sunē waved goodbye as she went to her own class. Katherine walked alone to her class, pushing the door open. She saw a few faces she recognized from elementary, but most were foreign to her.
She gave a little wave, careful not to let the long sleeves of her uniform fall down her arms. She had been practicing her quirk in secret, but the constant firing of blades from her arms had begun to leave a permanent indent in her flesh, almost like sheathes. But, with her quirk being unknown, it looked more like self harm. She didn’t want that to get reported.
“Oh, Katherine. It’s you,” One of the people Katherine recognized said. It was a boy with purple hair. His quirk was telekinesis, and while he hadn’t actively picked on Katherine and Sunē, he had watched without an ounce of guilt in his eyes. It was one of the reasons that Katherine didn’t interact with him.
The teacher walked in not long after Katherine found her seat and took roll. Everyone took the day to get to know their classmates and go to orientation. Part of that introduction was what your quirk was. When Katherine said mimicry, everyone looked at her with pity, disgust, or mischief. It wasn’t going to be a good year.
Katherine couldn’t find Kai and Sunē in the lunchroom, so sat alone. This further widened the gap between her and her classmates, who were all sitting with the other children from their elementary schools. Sitting alone was tantamount to admitting that she should be avoided or targetted.
After the long day, Kai and Sunē were waiting outside the school to walk home. Sunē looked exhausted, her snakes not even flicking their tongues out. Kai, on the other hand, looked quite jubilant, practically jumping up and down in excitement.
“Katherine! You’re not gonna believe this!” he said, running up to the dark haired girl in excitement. “There’s a group of kids in my class that all wanna be heroes too! They said they wanted to meet you guys, so that we could all be heroes together when we get older!”
Kai was so excited about the idea of new friends with the same goal that he failed to notice Katherine’s worn out look, or Sunē’s obvious exhaustion. Still, Katherine smiled and nodded, telling Kai that it was all great and of course Sunē and she would love to meet those new kids.
Kai couldn’t stop talking about those kids the whole way to his house. It was the closest of the three, and as he waved on his doorstep, Katherine couldn’t help but feel a little joy that he was gone for the moment. She could finally check on Sunē.
“Hey, are you alright? You haven’t been talking, and you look really tired,” Katherine asked after Kai closed his door. Sunē gave a weak smile.
“Just getting picked on. You know, the usual comments,” Sunē reassured. Katherine, though, didn’t believe her. She saw how hollow Sunē’s eyes looked, how her shoulders sagged and her shoes scraped along the ground. So Katherine did the first thing she could think of. She hugged her.
“Those douchebags are lying, okay? They’re lying, or they’re just too stupid to see how amazing you are. You’re funny, and smart, and you’re great at making people feel safe, and those are all important when being a hero!” Katherine pulled back to see Sunē nearly at tears.
“They don’t get to tell you who you’re meant to be. That’s for you to decide.” Sunē smiled again, lip trembling, and wiped her eyes.
“You’re right, Kat. Thank you. Thank you for believing in me.”
“These are your friends, Kai?”
“They don’t look like heroes.”
“That one even looks like a villain! Are you sure she won’t try and stop us?”
“Guys, I promise! Sunēkuai and Katherine are awesome!” This last one came from Kai, making a vain attempt to convince his new friends to stop picking on the ones that had been with him since early childhood. “Sunē can turn people into lizards, and Kat can mimic anything! If they can just train their quirks a bit more, they’d-”
“No way, Kai. These kids aren’t cut out to be heroes. Look at them! They should just stay outta the way. If you want to come train with us, fine. But don’t bring these two rejects with you,” the biggest boy said, walking away with his posse of five trailing. He boasted bright green skin, and Kai said the pockets on his skin were full of acid.
Kai seemed to deflate as he walked away, and Katherine felt a little bad for him. She had expected this, but Kai always saw the good in people, always saw hope that maybe someone would look at his friends like they were real people, instead of a villain and a bystander waiting to happen.
“At least they didn’t kick us,” Katherine said, only half joking. Kai just stared after the boys for a while, lost in his own thoughts. Sunē sighed, walking up and putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Thanks for trying, Kai, but it’s no use. Come on, we should head to class. Don’t want to be late on the second day.” Kai turned to face Sunē.
“I’m going to train with them.”
The silence hung in the air a minute. Sunē’s snakes all turned to stare at Kai, who subconsciously took a step back. Katherine, only having the one set of eyes, stared with those.
“Are you serious? After what they just said?” she burst, waving her arms in frustration. She regretted it, as her sleeve started to ride up a little too far.
“I don’t think what they said was right at all! You guys can be great heroes, we all can! But we need training, and they’re our best bet. I’ll train with them, then I’ll teach you and Sunē what I’ve learned after! Does… does that sound alright?”
Kai had the biggest, brightest, puppy-dog eyes. Katherine was convinced it had something to do with him altering the water in his eyes, but had never gotten him to spill about it. She tried to use that logic to clear her mind as she reasoned her way through Kai’s decision as he tried to sway her and Sunē.
“I guess it’s fine, if Kat’s alright with it?” Sunē said, turning to Katherine. With a sigh, Katherine nodded.
“You’d better still be our friend though, alright? We can’t have study-sleepovers without you,” Kat said. Kai beamed and nodded. The bell rang as he tried to say something, alerting the trio that they were about to be late. Without a word, all three sprinted to their classrooms, happy and hopeful at the new arrangement.
Katherine arrived home several hours later. She’d found Sunē at lunch this time, but had to endure the same vicious mockery that had always followed her and Sunē. The ridicule would doubtless follow her the whole year, and though the fact was familiar it still weighed heavy in her mind.
“Hello, my little star! How was your day at school?” Katherine’s mother asked.
“It was fine,” Katherine called back, taking her shoes off at the door before walking in. Her mother emerged out of the kitchen, holding a small bowl of sliced apples.
“Well, anything exciting happen?” her mother asked as she handed Katherine the bowl. The girl picked up a slice and bit down on it, enjoying the sweet flavor but saddened by the soft texture of the apple. Regardless, she finished the slice before answering.
“Kai joined a group of boys that are training together to be heroes,” she said offhandedly.
“Only Kai?” her mother replied.
“Mhm. He’s going to train with them, then teach me and Sunē what he learned so we can all be heroes together.” Katherine’s mother tutted softly.
“Star, you know how I feel about that… about Sunē. She will lead you down a dark path, and I don’t want that for you. Plus, think of your quirk! You weren’t meant to face villains, darling.”
Though the words were nothing new to Katherine, they still stung every time she heard her mother say them. It hurt to know her own mother didn’t think she was cut out for her dream. But it was worse to know her mother thought that Sunē, who was closer to her than anyone, could lead her toward being a villain.
“I’m going to do my homework. I’ll see you at dinner, Mom,” Katherine said, handing the bowl back to her mother. She turned toward the staircase and went up without a glance back.
When she reached her room, Katherine shut the door and changed into more comfortable clothes. She’d been lying about the homework: she’d finished it all in class today. That meant she had time to practice her quirk.
Carefully, she pulled a paring knife out of the sheath in her right arm. Satisfied, she resheathed it, absorbing the iron for later. She pulled out a bread knife from her left arm and did the same. This continued for several hours, until she heard her father announce that dinner was ready. That did a lot to brighten her mood, and she quickly absorbed the shortsword she’d made and raced downstairs.
Katherine’s father was a personal chef, and a brilliant one at that. Because of this he wasn’t usually around to cook dinner, but when he was it always tasted spectacular. It didn’t matter if it was something as simple as pizza or as complex as biryani, it always tasted amazing.
This, unlike those he went to culinary school with, had nothing to do with his quirk. He’d had to work at least twice as hard as his classmates to pass his classes, and he had not only done that but graduated in the top three. And he had done it all in spite of what everyone thought about his quirk.
His quirk was the ability to make anything a weapon. He didn’t change the structure of anything, but he could pick up any item and would know how to use it as an effective weapon. With a quirk like that, he’d been told by his classmates that he would become a villain, and his parents had worried about that fate as well. It made sense, then, that he had married someone that went through a similar struggle.
Katherine’s mother was an actress. She sang for commercials, and appeared as an extra in those commercials and a few small movies. Her career did align with her quirk, but she did her best not to share it out of fear that she would never get a commission again. Katherine’s mother could command anyone that heard her sing. Just like her husband, her family and classmates had been afraid that she’d become a villain.
Perhaps the mutual experience of ridicule and fear the two had felt was what led them to worry so much over their daughter’s quirk and friends. Katherine couldn’t blame them, though. After all, they were only worried about keeping her from ruin. She shouldn’t begrudge them that.
The dinner was terse between mother and daughter, with Katherine’s father trying to bridge the gap between the two. He had always been the more sympathetic of the two, and Katherine adored him for it.
After dinner, Katherine went back upstairs, honing her quirk. One of her knives came out too sharp, and she cut her finger slightly. With a hiss, she dropped the knife. In a panic, Katherine held out a hand to try and catch the knife, and it stopped right above the floor.
The point was about to be impaled in the carpet, floating a bare inch above. Katherine slowly bent to pick it up, and it lifted into her hand. With the knife in hand, she went and opened her window. Stepping back around her room, she dropped the knife again.
When it was floating above the floor, she lifted it back towards her hand, but didn’t grasp it. It was floating level with her shoulder, parallel to the ground. Katherine swung her arm, gesturing towards the window. The knife flew out, point first, with a faint whistling noise. Katherine pulled it back before it went too far, staring at the clean blade in fascination.
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“You’re an English major? Then you MUST…and MUST…and MUST.”
I always thought that being a college student was probably exciting and fun. You have got to do a lot of outdoor stuff. However, choosing a course was a lot harder than I thought. Among other courses you can name, I can’t seem to fit in any of them—architecture, engineering, nursing, accounting, IT (Information Technology), etc. Only in teacher education can I see a glimpse of myself—not to mention my family’s financial constraints. I’m not confident at talking with others, let alone being always in front of students. But I still went with it and chose to be an English major, which sometimes I question. There are times that I actually ask myself, “Do I really want to be an English major?” Because being an English major is pretty challenging. Yes, it’s given that there would be plenty of activities like presentations and writing outputs (like a never-ending reflection, which is helpful by the way), and there are different reading materials you need to master or at least learn, like literature. They always say that if you are an English major, you MUST be a good reader and know many books, stories and authors.
Aside from the different areas associated with English, like literature, developing critical thinking skills to effectively analyze written works, and being a good presenter, are just a few of the things you have to do in the bubble of being an English major.
And as an English major myself, what I find extremely challenging is learning the English language itself. Perhaps most of non-English speaking countries find the language laborious in nature, especially for students who are learning it as a second or additional language, which is true. It has a very complicated system but as an English major, have to have a great command of it, no matter how hard you find it. Carrying the title of “ENGLISH MAJOR” bears different levels of expectations that I myself have experienced. Their expectations are like the branches of linguistics, from phonetics to pragmatics, but most often than not, they expect you to know the highest level no matter what. I was once told “English Major panaman kayo” (a Filipino description that pertains to making mistakes or not doing something right that is under your specialization; in this case, in English). I felt very bad at that time. An instant realization came to me, and I thought of the things I’ve done in this major. I started counting my mistakes, doubting myself again if I can really pull this off, and overthinking the future. Those words have stuck with me till this very moment, and I have become even more afraid to make a mistake or to disappoint anyone with my work as an English major. When people hear that you’re an English major, you might want to prepare a one-minute introduction in English because their expectations will instantly escalate. They have this notion that you must be fluent in English because you are an English major. You must know many highfalutin words because you are an English major, and you must know everything that is associated with English because YOU ARE AN ENGLISH MAJOR. Well, these expectations are totally understandable since a person must be good at his or her field of specialization and so are English majors. But what’s not normal is when people don’t accept that you have made a mistake despite being in that field for years. Being an English major doesn’t really mean that you know everything about English. And honestly, I think that’s not how it works. Because being an English major means that you are kind of more knowledgeable in this major compared to other people who have a different major that they chose to focused on, and vice versa. That is the biggest misconception among English majors, which I think more people should be aware of.
On the bright side, being an English major is still enjoyable and full of surprises. You get to discover many different things with the language and perhaps develop a talent or discover something you really find exciting to do, like writing or speaking in front of the class. It allows you to see and understand the world through the English language. Ultimately, being an English major is actually just like being a major in any other field—various activities to do, learning what you have to be an expert on your chosen field, and receiving expectations that could be pressuring enough to make you feel like questioning your decision as to why you chose it.
And for English majors out there, it’s totally fine that you don’t know everything (because who does?) be it in grammar or all the stories and authors from English and American literature, because as Jonathan Culver said,
“The English language is a work in progress. Have fun with it.” The language is a work in progress, and so are we. We still have plenty of time on our clock to expand what we know. Living means continuous learning.
As an English major, there are things that I do to widen my horizons in this major that I want to share. These have improved my speaking skills, vocabulary, my ability to construct sentences in English, and more. And if you do them with constant training and practice, you’ll really see improvement.
The following tips are what you can try:
WATCH ENGLISH VIDEOS
- This can help you more with language acquisition. Can train your speaking skills and your listening comprehension. It’s more like learning the language naturally, as if native speakers are talking to you and will encourage you to respond in English.
READ MORE
- This is one of the best ways to improve your vocabulary. You can read different books and articles etc. Not only can this introduce you to different educational purposes you can use, but it can also introduce you to new words and improve your vocabulary.
THINK IN ENGLISH
- In this way, you are promoting English as your inner speech, wherein when you think of something in your head, you think of it in English. This helps you to construct sentences in English better, and it would be easier for you to use the language more often.
SPEAK LOUDLY
- This comes after the THINK IN ENGLISH. You should also practice speaking the language loudly to improve your pronunciation and increase your confidence in using it.
Nevertheless, I think being an English major is beneficial; you can land better opportunities with it. Almost all countries across the globe speak English. And apparently, there are around 1.5 billion people who can speak it, according to the Statista (2023). And that number only proves the influence of language in the world.
References:
Jonathan Culver Quotes. (n.d.). allauthor. Retrieved December 26, 2023, from https://allauthor.com/quotes/174061/
Spoken English. (n.d.). IEM Learning. Retrieved December 25, 2023, from https://images.app.goo.gl/kzSbAf5pfnPPJHku9
The most spoken languages worldwide in 2023. (2023). statista. Retrieved December 25, 2023, from https://www.statista.com/statistics/266808/the-most-spoken-languages-worldwide/
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High-Performance Team Experience
Regarding experience working with a high-performance team, I haven't been a member of it yet; however, I once had an opportunity to work with the best team. It was when I was assigned to a team of three to assist my history teacher in her competition for history content. Specifically, our tasks included the preparation of presentations and content related to the Vietnam War. The requested timeline was one month.
Say it was the best team experience I have had as we collaborated with each other to complete tasks which were totally strange to me. We set the goal of finishing the research and rehearsing the presentations within the timeline. Because the history topic was unexplored to us, so we had a lot of information to search for and have to understand it before telling other people. Some of us met the challenge to remember content so we often asked the leader for help. The leader, also my teacher, guided us in detail from research, lectures, and presentation. When I intended to withdraw from the challenge, she encouraged me by explaining how this competition was a chance for me to enhance my knowledge and confidence to speak in front of crowds. In addition, teammates were ready to support each other by encouraging, discussing, and tutoring frequently.
My responsibility during this collaboration was to compose slides, post-presentation handouts, and demonstrate the introduction of the presentation. The slides had to be minimal, precise, and included essential information, while the handouts were required to display detail and answers to audiences' questions. These two tasks requested my basic and a little advanced understanding of the Vietnam War. At first, I hesitated to accept them, but my leader agreed to support me whenever I need her which made my work finally completed in good standing.
As I look back on this team, I would prefer to have one more member to share my tasks with since they cost me a considerable amount of time which slightly affected my primary study. Though the task volume trained me to work at a fast pace, be multitasking, I would still favour having it not impact my main job.
During the preparation, the main conflict that appeared between us was feeling unfair about the tasks assigned to each. I envied Quan and Hao, my teammates, for having the only task to demonstrate the slides whilst did not know that they had to consume an enormous amount of knowledge and rehearsed too often that they had sore throats. I was afraid speaking my idea too soon would cause the conflict worse, so I decided to know what they do first. We had a short conversation about how each member worked on their tasks. We shared information and get it that everyone had difficulty, none of us was more favoured than the others. At the present, after this team's performance for six years, I would still respond to conflict by openly talking to people. I might speak with them verbally, or through several media, such as email or message. However, when I would like to have a conversation with teammates, I tend to plan what I need to say and how I will say it to not hurt them. I prefer this approach because if we don't show our disappointment towards each other, we hard to know our weak points and to develop ourselves better.
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An Introduction
It sort of dawned on me that I'm yet to do anything with this blog, so I'll go ahead and introduce myself.
If you want a shorter way to call me than my URL, Rea is the way to go. Any relevant information about me is and will be on my blog description. To elaborate, I use she/her pronouns, Spanish is my mother language while English is my second one, I consider myself someone in the aromantic/asexual spectrum, I'm 22 years old by the time I am making this post.
I'm mostly into anime, manga or any similar pieces of media. I also like games, though nowadays I only play Cookie Run: Kingdom, Obey Me! and Twisted Wonderland. I'm not an expert by any means, but I'll be happy to talk about any of those.
As for what I do, I am a fanfiction writer (mostly reader inserts). Well, I used to be, I haven't written anything in a while, but I'd like to change that. I do get brainrots every now and then, and that (plus gushing about every new media I stumble across) is this blog's reason of existence - so I can use it as my personal infodumbster.
Just to be clear, this is not a writing blog in the sense that taking requests is not what I'll be doing, my creativity is the most inconsistent thing I know and I won't be able to keep up with writing this or that scenario or this or that headcanon.
Let's see... I'm not particularly interested in making smut or NSFW content of that kind. I don't have any reason to make this an "adult" blog, and yet at the same there's no reason for me to keep it kid-friendly. I do have a certain affinity towards dark topics, but I might end up making another blog specifically for that purpose, who knows?
For now, I'll make an effort to keep things properly tagged, so I better not see complains about swearing in a post tagged as "#cw: profanity". This goes for adults as well. Avoid content you know you don't want to consume or it's potentially harmful for you, I cannot stress this enough. I'm here not to parent anyone, but to live my best life as a weirdo.
I will be making a masterlist. Eventually. Maybe. I don't know.
Anyway, nice to meet you all. Have a nice day.
#i was like 'i should make something with that blog'#then i realized i didn't even like introduced myself or anything#my teachers that made me do introductions would be disappointed#but it's their fault for giving me that unnecessary trauma#just kidding#or not#cookie run: kingdom#obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#twisted wonderland#twst#disney tw#crk#om
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< Rengoku Kyojurou >
observations I made while watching the movie and the questions I had. I figured I would put them here so you can all think about them and come to your own conclusions.
SPOILERS FOR KNY MANGA AND MOVIE.
He’s very quick to respond to the situations as they arise- probably because of all his experience and whatnot.
I hardly notice Kyojurou flinching in the movie and the manga. even when Shinjurou threw his sake right past Kyojurou's face in the gaiden, he did not flinch.
He doesn’t make eye contact with Tanjirou the entire time they’re speaking with one another or really anyone else, avidly staring ahead instead. This is not to say he never makes eye contact- though his attention is hard to gain at first, once Tanjirou has it, he looks the boy in the eye and acknowledges the group.
But I'm very interested in Tanjirou and Kyojurou's tense conversation before the demons. His lack of eye contact during that moment and blunt, belted answers are something I want to take note of in terms of his personality.
The whole scene where Tanjirou and Kyojurou first speak is a great way to really figure out how Kyojurou speaks in general. Based on that and the fan book that was released, Kyojurou is known to be hard to speak with because he can make it feel as if he’s not listening to you, which is something Tanjirou experiences with Kyojurou on the train at first.
I'm also interested in just how quick Kyojurou is to offer the position of tsuguko to Tanjirou. I would love to delve deeper into that and fully understand Kyojurou's reasoning.
Maybe Kyojurou simply likes to teach others. He helped teach Mitsuri, and he is a constant teacher to Senjurou, so perhaps it comes naturally to him. It's hard to say.
Shinjurou does not turn around when Kyojurou is talking to him in his dream. Eye contact!!! The intimacy of knowing someone is listening and cares about what you are saying is something Shinjurou doesn’t provide. This can play into how he doesn’t quite meet people’s eyes all of the time, only doing so when he thinks it's necessary.
That being said, he makes pretty strong eye contact with Senjurou.
There's also the scene where he's pretty intense, hovering close and making that eye contact with Tanjirou inside the train once it becomes a demon, and then once again when it crashes. But these moments are impactful. The viewer is hyperaware of Kyojurou's eye contact because of how intense it is- they KNOW when he's looking.
So his lack of eye contact is honestly something I like because that means when he does hold it, it's something that you can't ignore. It's a bigger part of him and his presence than you realize at first.
He was also smiling during the entire introduction, but his face immediately falls and that smile goes away when he senses a demon's presence. That smile goes away several times when he's in the midst of fighting- but when it's there- I think it's because of the fact people are around him and watching him.
I think he holds eye contact and smiles when it's important as a way to reassure others that everything will be okay. Kyojurou has that brotherly way about him- like when the train crashes and he talks Tanjirou through his wound, he's not smiling. He wants the boy to focus. But after that, he's quick to reassure him with praise over a job well done and a smile. It's very brotherly, I think, and it shows how Kyojurou is quite perceptive... when he wants to be and it's important, at least.
I also wonder why Kyojuro’s dream was a memory rather than a happy scenario like the others. I wonder what it says about him and his mind. He could have had a dream where his mother was alive, his father was kind, but instead, he was brought inside a memory that wasn’t exactly pleasant but clearly an impactful moment. Not even the outcome of the memory changed, it still ended with Shinjiro being neglectful and disappointing him.
So what is it exactly about this moment in his life that he somehow sees in a positive light that he wouldn’t want to change?
This is where my thoughts end. This isn't really a traditional post so none of you have to really interact with it, this is just me rambling as I try to fully understand and pick apart Kyojurou's character. I love analyzing him and asking these questions so I can understand and fill in the gap.
Hopefully these questions enjoy you. Let me know your thoughts on some of the things I brought up, maybe!
#lol im not.... really planning to write inserts .... but I like to come back here specifically so I can spout my observations and questions#so thats what yall are getting haha#kyoujurou rengoku#rengoku kyoujurou#kyojuro rengoku#rengoku kyojuro#kyojurou rengoku#rengoku kyojurou#kyojuro#kyoujurou#kyojurou#rengoku#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kny spoilers#mugen train spoilers#demon slayer spoilers#spoilers
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Then, the dam breaks.
Content warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; dacryphilia; mild infantilization
Kuroo's not a bad person.
Not even by a long shot. "Bad" is willfully stretching out a leg, hidden like a predator among the bushes; hungry for an unknowing soul who's naively secured with their surroundings and the crack that resounds when face finally meets floor.
Or, murder! Murder is bad, he believes.
No, Kuroo isn't capable of any of those things. He might seem like he has a mean streak about him. What, with his sharp tongue and that incorrigible self-satisfied smirk (according to Yaku) and his words that may or may not sting like a backhanded slap sometimes. But that's all in good humor.
Well-deserved, too, when given to the right asshole. And if he does manage to get under the skin of the wrong person, Kuroo's not above offering an apology.
And he means it. (Occasionally.)
There's no pleasure to be had, if anyone would ask. Because, again , he's not a bad guy. He's sly: he knows that much, though he wouldn't taunt someone into visible pain just for the thrill of it.
There's a method to all this. A purpose. Not a profound one, but a reason all the same.
So he has to admit he's feeling kinda lost figuring out why, of all people, it just really had to be you.
There wasn't much of an option to begin with.
Art clubs had already been full. The other ones, you weren't much interested in. And by the time you realized your homeroom teacher would stop at nothing to remind you that this year was your last chance to do something other than study and prepare for exams, for once— well, it had already been too late to reconsider joining those.
Then a flyer was handed out to you.
"V-volley," the boy trailed off.
Try as you might but you couldn't recognize him. A feat, that, considering his blond mohawk that you could spot among a crowd of thousands.
He seemed like he'd caught a nasty spell that prevented him from meeting anyone's eyes, even as you deliberately searched his face for any sign that he'd explain himself to you. Surely, he must have a lot to say after he'd outright ambushed you from entering the cafeteria.
"You...want me to join?"
You were on the verge of asking for more details, focusing on the black cat (though it didn't look like it) drawn on the center of the curiously damp paper, only to find out that you'd been conversing with an empty hallway.
A soft grumble left you.
"Weird," you concluded, barely a whisper. "Weird, weird, weird ."
You were the volleyball team's manager since then.
"She's not much of a talker."
Lev hunched to his knees again, sounding very much like he's running out of breath.
It should've been Kuroo's cue to gently ( gently) tell him off, that Nekoma's ace would handle a minute of catching a ball with their face with much more tenacity than he does, or that Nekoma's ace shouldn't have to catch the ball with their face in the first place, period.
" Zoning out already, Ace? " he'd planned on jeering, but instead he followed the direction of the overgrown 10 year old's gaze.
Someone was talking to you.
Apologizing , was more like it, if the other student's incessant bowing until his torso fell from his body was any indication. You were outside of the gym, clipboard tucked under an arm, so it was impossible to catch a word you were saying.
Not that you were saying much. Or anything at all. You only nodded. And nodded again. And after what seemed like the world's loudest "I'm so sorry, senpai!",you immediately went back inside to refill the water bottles lined atop the bench.
"Hey," Kenma sighed, the ball in his hand aimed for a toss. "Focus."
And the cycle of Lev being an utter disappointment to the blond setter continued.
Kuroo let out a noncommittal hum, eyes never leaving you, trailing like a lost pup as you handed out water bottles to Nobuyuki and the others.
"Not a talker, huh," he muttered to himself.
How long has it been? Two weeks? Three, maybe? Kuroo could scarcely remember for how many days you'd been showing up to this sweaty pit to perform your duties. On the dot. Always. Without fail.
What he does remember was the first day.
Chin up; head held high. You strutted into their lives as if you were leading an entire militia to battle and had no time to waste.
He teased you for it when you'd already busied yourself with clean up duty a few minutes after your (short) ( extremely concise) introduction.
("Slow down there, general," he told you with a wry chuckle. He expected any reaction from you, really.)
(He just didn't expect you to actually slow down on your cleaning and pick up on the Coach's remaining paperwork right then and there, going through it like a forest fire.)
It would take him a few more days to realize that that's just how you are.
Even when you rejected a tongue-tied Yamamoto when he tried to ask you out. For a meal. With the other boys, of course.
Even when you took a hurtling ball to your leg and lost your footing and had the whole team scrambling for a stretcher, only for you to stand on your good leg, tell everyone "I'm okay," and walk to the nurse's office on your own.
(Kuroo doesn't think he's seen someone limp with so much grace before.)
His throat suddenly felt incredibly dry.
Water . Water was what he needed.
Right.
You didn't see him coming from across the court. You were sitting on the bench and your back was turned, scribbling on that clipboard propped on your lap, yet— like clockwork, your idle hand shot out to give him the last bottle to your left before he could even finish asking for one.
He felt his lips curve as he muttered his thanks around the lid.
"Say," Kuroo began.
You were reading the things you wrote back to yourself.
"Mind telling me what was that about?"
You paused. You blinked up at Kuroo.
The attention hits him like a freight train.
That clear as summer sky gaze, unclouded and bright.
It's nuts how unreal it felt. How can something so elusive be now all on him.
(Just for him.)
"Earlier," he added, licking his lips and feeling silly for the way his chest tightened. "Seemed kinda intense."
"He borrowed my notes," you said. Then back to the clipboard again.
Kuroo made himself comfortable next to you, elbow propped on his knee as he rested his chin against an open palm.
"Got a test coming up?"
"Cram school. He's in the same class."
Of course .
"Of course," Kuroo grinned. "What happened? Heard the guy apologize to you like you were about to kill him."
Laughter bubbled out of his chest. Unfortunately, you didn't seem to find it as funny as he did. Pity.
He sighed.
"Nothing too bad, I hope."
The noise of ballpoint pen scratching against paper halted.
From way at the back, Lev was prattling Kenma's ear off again. Kuroo guessed they were about to leave, walking away from the court, away from the gym and to god knows where. The whole team, too, for that matter.
Everyone seemed to have gone, diminished in that second. He couldn't hear them anymore, didn't bother to see if they're still there.
He was looking at you, after all. Really looking at you. Your grip on the pen was a tad severe, he thought; fingers determined to squeeze the ink out of the barrel.
Your face betrayed nothing. Indeed, anyone could spare you a glance and immediately guess that this is just another empty chat between acquainted individuals, conversation just for the sake of it.
Kuroo wasn't just anyone, though.
Chin up and head held high; as you'd always done. But Kuroo's close enough to see it now, unlike before: the gulps you take in between breaths; the falter in those eyes that only ever looked forward.
Chin up and head held high, but Kuroo sees now that the neck he could easily break with one hand is so tense it's essentially a string pulled too tight that's on the brink of snapping.
Oh.
"Oh," Kuroo whispered.
Oh .
"He lost it didn't he?" Kuroo realized. "Your notes."
And it did snap.
"Just..!" You looked down and bunched your pants in your fist. "No. Of course not. It's nothing," you huffed, putting the ball pen's cap back on.
You were leaving.
Kuroo stood up.
"You look upset, manager-san," he said softly, his larger frame blocking your attempts of escape. "It is bothering you, hm?"
"My notebook got-got ruined, sure," you said. "But juice stains aren't bothering me, Captain ."
There it is. You were meeting his gaze again.
" Too late for that ," Kuroo thought. There's a stutter to your words when there had been none.
Your arms are trembling and you look uncomfortable. He should stop. He knows he should stop , but whatever it is he said is chipping away at that impenetrable wall and he doesn't get what's happening now but damn, damn if that tingle running down his spine doesn't feel so fucking good.
"My bad," he chuckled. "Sorry."
He raised both his arms in a show of defeat.
"I'm- it's fine," you said through gritted teeth. "If you would just— excuse me."
Kuroo shrugged a shoulder.
"Sorry about your notes, still," he said. "Must've been important to you. We all know how much you take your studies very, very seriously."
Kuroo smirked. "You shouldn't have let him have it then."
That made you stop in your tracks.
"What do you mean?" you sought, confusion breaking your voice into what sounds like the smallest it's ever been.
Kuroo felt his breath catch in his throat.
"He needed my help, though," you rushed. "I can't just turn people away."
"Really?" Kuroo sniggered, eyebrows lifting in fascination.
"Could've sworn you were good at it," he said; whispered it so lowly, you couldn't have heard it. But you did.
You heard him, all right. Loud and clear.
Because it was just like watching someone take a bullet to the heart.
First, the disbelief.
Skin, muscles, and ligaments weren't made to be broken like that. A person wasn't created to bleed to death. And when it happens, well, all one can ask is: how could someone hurt me like this?
So you stand before him, immobile, disbelief written in those wide eyes, because how could he hurt me like this?
Then—
Then, the dam breaks.
Kuroo doesn't think that you know it; that you're gaping at him with tears streaming down your face; that you're falling apart and stripping yourself bare the more you try to temper those quivering lips with that cute little nibbling you do.
Kuroo doesn't think you know it, too.
That no one has ever been as beautiful as you are, right in that very moment.
You're not a good person.
Not even by a long shot. "Good" is an open hand, warm and soft and prepared to accept anyone in need of it. It's many things, goodness, but it most certainly isn't a dismissive attitude towards a well-meaning person who only wants to get to know you.
You hadn't gone this far in your uneventful life ignorant of what people say behind your back. "Frigid" is one. "Indifferent" on a good day. "Bitch" when someone feels like being mean.
It's not like you're mad or anything; not as if you'd built up some sort of resentment within you that now you've settled for being perpetually friendless. You have plans, is all. You just can't afford to be a constant helping hand when you've got so much to do.
So you take it.
Be a sport about it, was what you've always been told. Stiff upper lip, as they say. You remain silent about it and you endure and maybe you shed a few tears later as you lie in bed and maybe you entertain the possibility that you'll never see the end of this loneliness.
But that's neither here nor there.
The point is, this time shouldn't have been any different.
(But sometimes even the strongest walls can crumble. All it takes is one crack, then the rest would follow.)
It was a bad day.
You woke up late. You messed up the tally in the first set of practice games. You forgot the homework you'd stayed up all night to do.
And the person whom you've lended your notes to for the college entrance exams lost it.
He lost it. Conveniently just a month before the actual thing.
"I- It's nowhere to be found, senpai," he explained. "I tried looking for it everywhere but- but I.." (You don't remember the rest.)
It's fine, you told yourself. You're fine. You can do something about a little inconvenience like this. You always have.
But then Kuroo Tetsurou asked.
He's an amazing captain; even someone like you who only had a rudimentary knowledge at volleyball could understand the level of skill it requires to do what he does on the court while still managing to reign in the polarizing characters in this team together. And like most people, Kuroo Tetsurou has never cared for you.
That's what you'd always thought, concerning him. Even when there had been times when he'd let slip what he thought about you. ("You're so cold, manager-san," he pouted once after you'd refused to eat with Yamamoto and the others.)
So it blindsided you, to say the least.
The way he looked at you, as if he's privy to your darkest secrets, like he's seen you at your lowest and somehow knows you more than you did.
When he'd jabbed and poked at what you'd only later realize was already a festering wound. (" It is bothering you, hm?" he said.) And before you could think about telling him to stop, to please, please let it go, it had already happened.
(" Could've sworn you were good at it ," he said.)
This isn't news to you. Besides, there have obviously been worse digs.
But hearing it from people who think you're not listening and being told about it to your face are two vastly different things.
(Maybe it's because deep inside you'd always hoped that not everyone disliked you. That even though you're not a good person, you're not entirely bad either.)
Right in front of you, swift and without warning, he spoke only the truth.
You just weren't prepared for how deep it could cut.
"I have to go," you murmured.
It took you a few seconds to realize that you'd been crying. And when you did, you immediately wiped your cheek with the back of your hand, turning away from him and the others still engrossed in their drills.
You let your feet do the thinking, allowing it to take you wherever they wished to go ( not here. not here. anywhere but here ), finding it impossible to do so yourself when your vision is clouded with welling tears.
You moved forward, never once looked back, until you ended up inside the stark darkness of the gym's forgotten neighbor.
The shed has long been abandoned and had nothing but dust, a couple of furniture in disrepair, and the occasional bug to keep it company. It was good enough for you. You didn't need much anyway.
Except for silence.
The breaths that you'd desperately tried to control shook like dried leaves hanging onto frail branches, much like your legs, eventually collapsing at the slightest gust of wind.
All you needed was silence.
Crouched down, the feeling of bones reduced to jelly was a lot more palpable. And despite the pins and needles that you know would eventually appear like a vengeful mistress, you stubbornly pressed your knees closer to your damp face.
Stuttering inhales and short-lived exhales soon enough filled the gnawing emptiness of the shed as you count back to the moment you'd started the day to when your classmate told you that he'd lost your notebook to when you'd been told of how much of a shitty person you are and you wonder how you would've changed your decisions and how could it have gotten to this point how could it go wrong like this what did I do what did I do wrong what went —
"There you are."
You clamped your mouth shut, clenched your teeth so hard to stop their chattering. How useless.
The creaking noise of the door being closed— punctuated by the sound of the latch clicking, rendered that effort futile.
Kuroo Tetsurou locked the door.
"C-can you," you panted. "Can you please leave."
"I need some time alone," you said, every beat of your heart like the ticking clock of a time bomb. "Please."
You waited for him to do as you'd told. Maybe what happened earlier was a mistake, a slip of tongue that hurt more than it should've, and he's here to apologize. Of course. That's it, isn't it? Why else would he be here?
"I- If you want to say something, we can- we can— later."
It was as if the entire world had gone still. He said nothing; neither could you hear any hint of movement. You turned around.
"C-captain..!"
He was right there.
Right in front of you, crouched and staring right back at you. His face a hair's breadth away from yours.
Your legs shot upwards.
"What are you- ah !" You hissed, feeling every cell in your body being incessantly pricked. Finding it impossible to stand on your own, your hands scrambled to get a hold of something, anything, maybe the almost dilapidated table behind you— only to be caught in between large, strong arms.
"Careful, now," he murmured against your neck. His scalding breath like frostbite, chilling you down to your bones until you were numbed from the pain.
He slithered a hand around your waist. With blood thundering to your ears, you bit back a shriek and pushed him away with all your might. But have you forgotten? Despite that indolent swagger of his, you've witnessed how this boy pushes himself to exertion for each match and beyond. What made you think you could win against him?
And when you attempted to open your mouth and yell, he effortlessly covered it with a palm while hauling you towards the table. The thing rocked under your weight. It is amusing, what the fear of falling does to you. One moment you're thrashing your way out; the next, you're holding onto your tormentor for dear life.
"No one's gonna come for you." He shushed you like how one would when placating a rabid animal. "You really believe they would bother? With an attitude like that?"
Down, down, his hand sank to your thigh, kneading the aching flesh until all you could do was mewl out a hoarse, "S-stop. I beg y-you."
Because it's all that's left for you. No one's going to save you. Or maybe someone would. But, who? And would they, really?
(Go on, then. Try. See for yourself.)
"Kuroo-san," you whimpered. " S-stop ."
(Would they even believe you? It's your word against his. Him . Their beloved captain.)
"Tetsurou," he only said, dipping his hand lower, wrapping your freezing legs around him. "Say it."
He's everywhere. Lips tracing your chin, teeth grazing your throat; all the while your weak, pathetic arms stayed on his shoulders, thinking he'd regain his senses because he has to. He has to. He's not a bad person. He wouldn't hurt you, not in that way.
Even when rough palms are already caressing the sides of your breasts and you feel a bulge rutting against your stomach, hot and rock hard and large, his hands grabbing your ass to bring your crotch closer to his—
"Cap- Tetsurou!" You cried, trembling hands back on his chest as you sobbed and pleaded please, please, let me go, I won't say anything, I-I'll keep quiet .
He did stop. But he didn't let you go. (You're a stupid girl if you think he would). Instead, with a forefinger under your chin and a thumb on your lower lip, he gently tilted your head to meet his gaze.
And when your murky vision adjusted to the shadows, the heart that wanted to escape from your chest ceased its clamoring, arresting your breath with it.
The afternoon sun peeked through the crevices of the shed's wooden walls. Red-orange light revealed a pair of iris swallowed by blown pupils, only for it to pass and shroud him back into the darkness.
"Say it again," he whispered, deep voice cracking. " Tetsurou . My name."
You tried to speak and protest once again but only a croaked snivel left you, your babbling becoming less coherent when he began planting soft kisses on both tear-streaked cheeks.
"You've been all alone, haven't you? Keeping everything to yourself all this time."
He kissed your forehead and it was so tender you wanted to die.
"My strong, brave girl," he breathed. "I'll take care of you. I'll take care of you. I- I-"
You heard him chuckle as he pressed his forehead to yours, felt it crease on your skin. "I love you."
No. No, no, no . You shook your head and closed your eyes and prayed to anyone who's listening.
"I love you," he repeated, strongly now, as if he only realized it this time around.
And then he kissed you. Just a peck. And then he kissed you again, deepening it to probe a wet tongue into your mouth. And the hand sitting lax on your neck felt like a gun to your temple.
You remained just as you were, like a plaything to do with as he pleased, as you felt calloused fingers creep inside your sweaty shirt.
"Such pretty tits," he grunted as he raised your bra over your breasts to brush your nipples, rolling and pinching and pulling them with his thumbs.
He muffled the noises you made with his own mouth still when he continued fondling you. You soon enough tasted the salt off of his palm when he left your lips to lick and pepper bites on your neck, on the valley and mounds of your breasts, sucking and lapping the stiff peaks until he was satisfied.
You tried counting, one to whatever. And when that did not work, you tried biting your own tongue to rid of the heat you fear would burst in your belly.
All that went to waste when he reached inside your pants.
"Not- not there!" you gasped, breaking your silence and wriggling out of his grasp.
He cooed. "You'll feel good. I promise."
After hooking long fingers over the hem of your panties, he briskly parted the hair and lips underneath to pull the thin cotton over the folds, over the throbbing nub trapped in the middle.
"Your pussy's so wet, sweetheart," he sighed, the tip of his middle finger drawing light circles on your clothed clit.
It was so lewd and dirty and the fact that your panties were soaked with slick was enough to burn you with shame.
"You like it, hm?"
Perhaps you whimpered out a meek "no." You couldn't tell anymore, heaving out while he continued to toy with a sore nipple as he rubbed your slippery cunt, preying on your puffed out, swollen clit.
"Feel what you do to me." He squeezed your wrist and forced your shivering hand on his crotch. "Take out my cock, baby," he whispered, scattering kisses on your neck.
"Tet-Tetsuro…san," you cried. "I can- I can't."
"Yes. Yes, you can ," he said, not halting the ministrations between your legs. "You're a big girl."
As if held by a string, he guided you, wrapped his hand around yours as he— as you stroked him, scorching and thick, up and down, just like that .
"Good girl. My good little girl," he groaned, parting your panties to the side to tease your dripping hole.
You wept harder, the inevitable only a few seconds away from you. A single finger, at first. And when he added a second one, you realized you preferred having a hand on your mouth than his lips on yours.
(Because then you wouldn't have to think of an excuse why you're suddenly swirling and brushing your tongue in time with his.)
For a while there had been nothing but the sound of two wet lips pursing against each other (along with those embarrassing squelching noises).
He treated you as if you were made of porcelain, your plush walls stroked oh so gently as he circled the sensitive bundle of nerves. Even when he ended the kiss and removed your hand from his cock, spit and pre-cum connecting you to him, he still handled you as if you would break at the drop of a hat.
That's why it snuck up on you, what happened, after he brought his mouth to your ear.
"Don't scream," he whispered.
Then, he rammed his fingers in your mouth.
You tasted yourself as he forced you on your back, slamming you down on the dirty table yet still carrying your weight all throughout, never letting go.
The bitter acceptance of it— that what began earlier can only conclude to this , did not prepare you for the feeling when he finally thrust himself into you.
They say it shouldn't hurt at first. If it does then he's doing it wrong.
You hardly know if it's relief or horror that dawns on you when you realize how he stretched you out so easily, despite his size. Because, by all means, this should be wrong. This is wrong.
"Gonna ruin you," he panted. "Gonna ruin you and— fuck put you back together myself."
He grinded his cock inside you deep and slow and when he hit that spot you couldn't control yourself from jackknifing so hard he had to hold you down. He does this mercilessly, pace growing more delirious until you're nothing but a choked and sputtering fool around his fingers.
"I won't ever leave you. I’m here," he cooed, stroking your hair and kissing your face as you bawled and shattered in his embrace. "I’m here ."
"So cry all you want."
#tw noncon#tw non con haikyuu#yandere kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#dark content haikyuu
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[𝙎𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙡 𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙖𝙘] (005)
"𝙉𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚."
Fushiguro stated. While still cool on the outside, internally Megumi was pleading with himself that it wasn't true. Gojo sighed. "It's starting to look like a possibility."
"Why are the Elders here though?" The raven head questioned. "The council are making preparations." Masamichi stepped in. "They're already assuming the worst?!" Megumi snapped. "He's still alive! He's still-!" A hand made a stop motion.
"I think you should leave the matter with us. You and Kugisaki need rest. We'll have Shoko look at your wounds later, for now rest." Masamichi held a commanding tone, although gently said. Fushiguro hesitantly nodded before picking up his peer, and started his way towards the dorms.
'M/n is not dead right? He'll make it-.'
Once more his train of thought was interrupted by the faint yell from the infirmary. "He's crashing! The internal hemorrhaging won't..." The rest became muffled, when the sound of a door slamming shut echoed the empty hallways.
'Please stay alive, I can't lose you too.'
Timeskip
Report:
900 hours. Due to prior events from the day passed; both first year student: Itadori Yuuji, and second year student: L/n M/n (also special grade Jujutsu sorcerer) of Jujutsu tech university have been pronounced dead.
"I can't help to think that it was my fault." The snowy haired sorcerer chuckled bitterly. A hand was curled into his hair, as his fingers tugged at the strands. "It couldn't have been. Those incompetent fools are." Nanami reassured from across the male.
The two were seated across from each other in an empty room. Only two couches sat idly in the center. "The fact that the council is filled to the brim of cowardly heathens, has already been established. But hey, what can we expect." Gojo sarcastically answered. "Shouldn't both of us be experts in this?" Nanami held a stoic stature.
"We all knew what we were getting into. Death was just another thing apart of the list of risks." Kento spoke. It wasn't a lie, the two had suffered such losses and learned what the consequences truly were.
"It was inevitable." The word itself, pissed off Gojo to no end. Inevitable. Such a pathetic word, made by mortal chains who were paranoid of life. It always made him feel small; the word reminded him of how helpless he truly was during situations like this.
It angered him, heck, he was livid in fury. But the more he tried to refuse reality, the more times he ran into the same wall. Helplessness.
Timeskip
"Sukuna's host?" Shoko pointed towards the table, Itadori laid. "And...L/n." She lead the sentence on. Caressing the second-year's face, she clicked her tongue. "Anyways, I can dissect him however I want, right?" She asked referring to Itadori.
"Just make use of him." Gojo asked. "Of course I will. Who do you think you're talking too?"
"..."
"And we have direct instructions from the council for L/n. Those old farts aren't any fun. I was kind of curious of what was inside of that pretty little head of his."
With Fushiguro and Nobara
"He told us to "live long", but all your problems vanish when you you die. Was he your first comrade you've lost?" Nobara asked. Currently the two were sat on the steps of the entrance. "He was the first classmate."
"Hmmph you seem oddly fine. After all that second-year died too."
"I could say the same for you." Megumi shot back. "Well I only knew them for about two weeks. I'm not such a soft woman...that would cry over the death of people like them." The female's voice cracked, as her lip quivered.
"It's so hot though." Kugisaki complained, changing from the depressing topic. "Yeah, I wonder when we'll get our summer clothes."
"What the hell? You're more depressing then ever.." Nobara sneered. "Megumi!" A voice interrupted. "Is this a wake?"
"Zenin-senpai."
"Don't call me by my family name. Maki. Maki!" Maki sounded out her name. Suddenly murmuring from behind a tree caught the three's attention. "He really did die too. Yesterday too! Another boy in first-year."
A tick mark formed, as Maki started to sweat. "Say it earlier! I'll seem like a cold-heartless devil!"
Panda and Inumaki stepped out from their 'hiding' spot. "Actually that's exactly what you are, you know?!" Panda yelled back.
"Tuna-Mayo."
"Who are they?" Nobara pointed towards the three strangers. "They're out second-year senpais. Zenin-senpai, she's the best at handling charms out of us students. Inumaki-senpai is a specialist in spells. His only vocabulary is onigiri ingredients. And panda.
There's another, Okkotsu-senpai. Along L/n-senpai, they were the only ones I could openly respect. He's overseas right now." Megumi explained. 'I wonder how Okkotsu's taking it. If he even knows yet. He and L/n-senpai were close.'
"Are you just going to leave the panda's introduction at "Panda?" Kugisaki cut off Fushiguro's thoughts. "Oh sorry guys you're also still in mourning too." Panda bowed.
"We know how you must be feeling right now. We both lost L/n and Itadori. L/n was like family." Maki reassured. A small frown though lingering. "Mustard leaves-bonito flakes."
"Through the grief though, we want you guys to attend the Kyoto sister exchange." Panda finished.
"What's that?"
With Gojo
"You know, I have a pretty shitty personality, Don't I?" Gojo asked from his slumped position. "I know." Ijichi sighed.
"I'll seriously slap you later, Ijichi." The threat caused a shiver to go down the male's spine.
"Why would someone like me, someone who doesn't have characteristics of a teacher, take a teaching job at a technical college? Ask me."
"Why is that." Ijichi shookenly asked. "Because I have a dream."
"A dream you say?" Gojo leaned back in his seat.
"Yeah, as you know from what happened to M/n and Yuuji, the establishment is the den of evilness in the world of sorcery. It doesn't take much brain power to know that the council of elders are a council of fools, and idiots.
It's a bargain sale for rotten oranges. I'll hit reset on the shithole that the world of sorcery is. I could easily kill those at the top, but they would simply be replaced, and no one would follow someone who'd kill the higher-ups.
That's why I chose education. To raise strong and clever comrades. That's why sometimes I dump my missions on my students."
Ijichi gave an unimpressed look. "Not because you wanted to skip out of them?"
"They're all extraordinary. Especially that third-year, Hakari and second-year, Okkotsu. They'll become shamen who could even rival me." Gojo's fist clenched as he glared at the table in front of him.
"Yuuji was one of them." Through gritted teeth, his glare downcasted. "M/n...was the only one who could surpass me."
"I'm going to start now." Shoko pulled on a pair of rubber gloves. Ijichi started shaking in fear as he pointed behind the female. "Huh, what's wrong."
"G-G-Gojo." An amused smirk formed as he saw behind her. Itadori was sitting up with a mildly confused expression.
"Woah, where's my clothes?!" Itadori exclaimed glancing downwards. "H-H-He H-H-He's a-a-alive!"
"Don't be so noisy Ijichi."
Shoko pulled her mask down a disappointing look sent to Itadori. "That's a shame."
An awkward silence befell. "Ummm this is embarrassing." The pink head nervously scratched his neck.
"Welcome back." Gojo placed his hand out. "Yo! I'm back!" Itadori slapped the outstretched hand. "Good to see you're alive."
"It's good to be back. Can I get some clothes though?"
Gojo and Shoko nodded at each other before heading out of the room. "We'll be back."
When the two left, Itadori started grabbing the garments from a bag. While changing, his eyes caught an oddly familiar tuft of (h/c) colored hair from next to him. 'That's impossible.' Tugging his shirt on, he inspected further.
Pushing back the cloth covering the body, Yuuji's eyes widened in realization. 'No!' "I-Ijichi w-who's this?" He asked pointing towards the male. "That's L/n. He was a second-year here."
From the confirmation of his identity, a feeling of grief and sadness started to form at the pit of his stomach. Tracing along the scars that littered his neck. A worried frown formed. 'What happened to you?'
Although, inside him, where Sukuna sat, the king of curse's 'throne' stood empty. Sukuna watched in horror as Itadori had pulled the sheet back. Something continued to eat away at him. He couldn't die again right? He just saw him again. He never told him of the past.
The same sick feeling filled Sukuna as felt as though he was going to puke. "Not again!" His anguish screams filled the domain, as he threw, and broke numerous skulls that had made up the pile.
"Not again please." Sukuna faintly pleaded, as his kimono and hair dripped with water.
Back on the outside Itadori had clenched his nails into his fist. Small droplets of blood seeped from his grasp.
"Why'd you have to go and die already?"
M/n POV
The coldness was the first thing I felt when I woke up. While the breeze was soft, the coldness of it all was unforgiving. It was all to familiar though. That day...
"RUN M/N! DONT LOOK BACK!"
It hurts. Stop.
"Your whole clan is pathetic~"
Stop please. It hurts.
"What are you going to do? You're too weak."
A pain filled scream echoed throughout the darkness, one I could only assume as my own. "What do you want? Please stop!"
"You killed us! It's your fault!"
The voices bounced off the walls from every angle. "What do you want from me?" I cried out.
The echoing voices seem to pause. Silence. A singular figure started to emerge from the snowy ground.
"You're not real. You died 10 years ago." My feet moved, as I started backpedaling. The figure, a woman. A yellow kimono dressed her body. Long (h/c) hair framing her chest, and face. (E/c) orbs which seemed so foreign. "I'm here my love. You're here with me." She reached out a palm towards my face, the only reaction was a flinch which was returned.
"It's me n/n. I'm back." Her soft tone felt deceiving as she stuck out her arms towards me. "It's been so long." Shaking my head, I refused to accept. "You're dead, stop this. Please." Fingers started to tug and pull the messy strands of hair.
"M/n, please." Warmth filled my core, as I was pulled into an embrace. My legs wobbled as we both fell to the floor. Sobs started racking my form as the woman, I've only known as my mother held me in her arms. "M-Mom? Why'd you leave me? I-I'm s-sorry, I was t-too weak-!"
"Hey, shhhh...It's okay. You did everything you could. It's not your fault at all sweety." Coming face to face with her, her thumbs wiped my eyes. "You're the strongest person I know M/n."
"Y-You left though! Y-You l-left and I d-d.." Words started getting choked up as a lump formed in my throat. "And that's one of the biggest burdens and regrets I have to carry." She spoke calmly pushing back a strand of hair.
"You've done so many good things and helped people in need. I've been with you ever since I passed. To think, my own son was such charmer though." She quirked a brow teasingly in hopes of lifting the mood. A small chuckle escaped. "I missed you." A bittersweet sigh left her parted lips before a smile graced her features.
"As have I." A comforting silence filled the void as we sat in each other's embrace. "M/n, although I despise it with all of my heart, you can't stay." Eyes widened, I pushed her body back.
"What do you mean? I just got here?" A frantic expression slowly forming.
"M/n..."
"I just got you back! You can't leave!" She once more stuck out her hand stroking my cheek. "M/n, you are the strongest person I've known my entire life. You've saved hundreds if not thousands. And you have people who love you back there! If you stay, you'll break their hearts." A shaky breath left, as tears started to fall again.
"I know. I'm so selfish! But I can't find the heart to see you leave again." Pushing my head into the crook of her neck. "You have too. You still have so many first's you have to fill though. Get married, live your life. It's not your time yet. I'll be with you every step of the way." She smiled, kissing my forehead.
"I love you M/n."
"I love you too." Her figure started to fade into small cherry blossoms.
"It's time to wake up M/n~" With that, she disappeared entirely. A bittersweet smile managed to appear. Collapsing into the snow, I let the coldness finally envelope me as my eyes shut closed.
'It's time to wake up.'
#jujutsu kaisen#seme male reader#jjk#jjk x male reader#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#jjk megumi#jjk sukuna#jjk gojo#jjk itadori#jjk nobara#jjk inumaki#jjk panda#top male reader#male reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk zenin
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