#my stationary addiction is taking over | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plush-rabbit · 10 months

Text

Sorrows and Partings

TW: A bit of suicide ideation, like a tad bit but is not expressed further than one statement

Word Count: 3.6K

A/N: this is part of the cut up chapter posted previously!!

Twisting the doorknob, the soft glow of your lamp fills the room, and you sit in bed, curled up against the bed frame. He hadn’t noticed it before, but your room is a mess, clothes strewn about, knickknacks and figures collecting dust, and books layered above each other in a tower of spines.

“You stayed,” you say in a soft voice that if not for the night, he would have never heard your words.

“Of course, I did.”

You smile sadly as the confession. Scooting over on the bed, you pat the space beside you.

Even with the mess, your bedroom is as he still remembers it. It’s cluttered with your things, pictures are placed on the wall- pictures for your friends and family, posters of your favorite films, candles stacked and strewn on flat surfaces. And on your nightstand, is a picture of him and you, pressed close together as his arm is stretched out, and he remembers the day. He remembers the warmth of the sun, the soft press of your lips against him, the way that you had sugar on your tongue and the way that he became addicted to it in a matter of seconds.

He steps on the soft rug on the floor, and taking your invitation, he sits on the bed. It’s soft, and the blanket that touches his thigh, still tickles the way it used to. Your hands flutter over his, and they grasp onto his wrist. You tell him to make himself comfortable, and as if it were like the first time that he was in your room, you stay still, trying not to think about how you tug on him, how your hands are much softer now, how he can recall what it was like to lay on your bed.

He turns and twists, and he lays on your bed, and you’ve let go of his wrist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just grab you. But you just sitting there seemed like an uncomfortable way to have a conversation.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He’ll take a chance, just to have you touch him again, to feel your touch, to know that you’re real and he’s in your room and not shivering in his bed, thinking of what ifs. “You can touch me if you’d like.”

As if he were made of porcelain, you grab his hand in both of yours, lifting the mass and watching as his fingers tremble from being touched. Holding his hand in yours, you turn it around, examining it as if it were anything more than a hand. You circle your thumb and index over his wrist, trying to pinch your fingers close together but giving up quickly. You turn his hand over, palm face upwards and you trace over nothing, your index curving around a spot. There is nothing to trace, and yet, you continue to ghost your finger over his hand in a touch so soft that if he weren’t paying attention, he wouldn’t have noticed it.

“Your skin feels different,” you mumble.

“What does it feel like?” You press your thumb over the swell of his palm, right under the ends of his fingers.

Humming, you massage and pinch at his skin. “Rubber, I think? Wait, no.” Your mouth pulls into a thin line. Your eyes drag down, heavy with sleep, but you stay determined to stay awake. “Latex?” Turning to him, you give an apologetic smile. “I’m bad at recalling textures.”

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“I miss your freckles.” You ignore his question.

If he could frown, he would. Actually, he’s sure that the spot on his face emotes; maybe it could emote frustration. “I still have my freckles. Technically.” With his free hand, he points to a small cluster of spots that float near his collarbone, right under where the bone would protrude. “Some of the spots move, but there are some that usually remain stationary.”

Nodding, you keep your focus on his hand. “You said it's- your white- that it’s all skin?” He makes a noise of confirmation. “So you’re like naked, right now?” His spots pulse in a moment of surprise, and you drop his hand. “Oh! Sorry.” You look at him sheepishly, and he hopes that you grab his hand again. “I just- You’re like gallivanting all over New York- naked.” There’s a smile teasing its way, and he straightens him, trying to keep what little resolve he has left.

“I wear clothes!” He says defensively.

“Like what?” You lean back against the bed frame, and give him a teasing smile.

“Like jackets and- and hats.” You roll your eyes, and pull the blanket closer to you. Your hands have found their new home in a blanket. “I don’t have a lot of options now- things stretched out.”

He’s gained your attention again. “No pants?”

“Well- it’s not like I have to,” he says in an almost squeaking voice. You crane your head, and he’s covering his crotch with both hands. Your name is yelped, and there’s a phantom of what the two of you used to be laced into your name.

“What?” You say through a laugh. “I’ve seen you before, remember? Plus, you're literally like you know-” you skirt around saying the word, and he can’t stop looking at you- “on my bed. And-” your hands pat on the blanket and they flat- “you walk around without pants!”

“It’s different! That’s different!”

“I’d argue that it isn’t.” Your legs shirt under the blanket. You take another glance. “Not even boxers?”

“It’s not necessary,” he mumbles, and he can’t stop looking at you. He won’t stop. “Most people think I’m wearing something anyways,” he confesses in a quiet voice. “Most of my clothes don’t fit now. The sleeves bunch up-” he stretches an arm and his hand circles around his forearm where the jackets usually begin to bunch- “and really, if I just hide my face, most people think I’m some eccentrically dressed man.”

“You always did wear bright clothing.” You lay on your side, your arms bent to cushion your head more than the pillow ever could.

“I did not,” he pouts.

“Yeah, you did.” You try to sink yourself deeper into the bed. “You had that one button-up. It was um, it was bright blue with like white shapes all over it. Or- Or your orange one! With the design on it.” Your grin is growing, and he can’t help but be captivated by you. You laugh, and it’s the sweetest sound that he’s ever heard in his life, sweeter than honey, sweeter than anything he’s ever had. “I’m sure the pants are something close to what you owned,” you say in a whisper. “Somehow, you always did make those clothes work.” You look to where his eyes should be and as if you could, he feels himself being peeled away, layers taken apart until you stare at him- just at him.

A part of him wished he left your apartment when he had the chance.

“Why did you want me to stay?” He asks, voice tight and full of want.

“I already told you.” You look ashamed. “I miss you.”

He should have left. He should have closed this chapter in his life. “I miss you too.” He can’t stand it. He hates how you look at him. Look away. Look away from him. He wants you to look away from him.

As if hearing his prayer, your gaze shifts elsewhere and he needs it back. “I’m sorry Johnathan,” you say his name with tenderness that he hasn’t heard in a long time. Your words kiss his skin and leave him aflame. “What I did to you, you didn't deserve that. I wish I could tell you that I was young and dumb, but we both know that would be a lie.” You don’t look at him again. “I asked you to stay for my own selfish desire. I thought that if I could give you a meal and let you lie on my bed, that it would somehow make up for all the bad that I’ve done to you.” You look at him, and he can’t look at you when you’ve said something so true. “A cold sandwich and a cold bed would never repair what I’ve done to you.”

He should tell you something mean- something sharp and unforgiving, something that would make you feel the way that he had that night and all the nights and days that followed. When he looks at you, and sees the bags under your eyes and the way that you look so small lying down- he can’t say anything of the sort. His words don’t form, and they aren’t tangible thoughts that he could at least grasp and stutter out, they’re simply gone. Malice and greed is absent, and he wants to cling to you. He wants to hide himself in your arms and in the soft spot where your neck and shoulder meet.

“You really miss me?” He asks in a scared voice, one that cracks and exposes all of his hopes and fears.

“Every day,” you reply earnestly, finally looking at him again. “I know I shouldn’t. But I do.”

Unbeknownst to him, he’s found his hand in yours. “How can you stand to look at me?”

“Exposure therapy. I thought that if I could stand spots and holes-” you pull a grimace as if even the word is too much and if the word is too much, then he must be plentiful and he must be cast away and you must be thinking of someone else. “Small clusters kinda fuck me over, but bigger ones don’t as much anymore.”

“I shouldn’t have dropped by that night.” He wishes he hadn’t, that way, maybe in death you could still care for him and mourn him. “I knew about your phobia and I still came by.”

“You wanted comfort.” Your voice cracks and the tips of your cheeks flush. “You needed me. That isn’t something you have to apologize for Johnathan.” Tears water at your eyes and you cling to his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“I meant what I said.” You knit your brows. “I meant it when I said that if you took me back, we could forget about all that was said. We could start fresh.”

By the look in your eyes, he knows he said the wrong thing. “That wouldn’t be fair to you Johnathan.” Your words are muffled by the skin on your arm, and he can hear it clearly, every word is drenched in pity.

He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t care. Not when I’d have you.”

“You could do so much better.”

“No,” he corrects. “No, I couldn’t.”

“I don’t deserve that type of grace, Johnny.” Your arms tense, and he wonders if you really do miss him. “If we went back to how it was before, I’d still know. I’d still hate myself, and I wouldn’t see you, I’d see me.” Your eyes shine with tears.

“I could never hate you,” he tells you with sincerity dripped onto his words. “I tried-” you blink and a tear tracks down- “but I couldn’t. I had so many things that I wanted to tell you- that I hoped I could tell you, but I could never even form the sentence.”

“Can you try?”

“What?”

“Can you try to tell me what you would have wanted to tell me?” You lift yourself up by your forearms, and push yourself close to him, He can smell the cream on you- something sweet and soft. “You can think of it like payback,” you mutter, your hand reaching to grab his.

“I can’t.” he shakes his head, and closes his hand around yours. “I could never tell you what I felt or what I thought. It wasn’t anything bad- it was just-” he sighs and keeps his gaze on your hands- “disappointment? Shock?”

“Why did you stay Johnathan?” He doesn’t answer you, nor does he even make a noise to show that he heard you. “Johnathan?” He squeezes your hand in response. “You asked why I had asked you to stay. Why did you?” Your head tilts and you lower yourself to come into his view, and he can’t look away- not this time. “How can you still hold my hand after what I’ve done to you?”

“Because I wanted to,” he tells you with his words wavering as if they’re about to crash. “I knew that you were the one that I wanted. That hasn’t changed at all.” Tears curve down the side of your face, and drip down your chin. “I’ll always want you.” He lifts his head upwards, and you sit with him, your hand gripping onto him as if the slightest tremble would make him vanish. “Do you need a hug?”

Nodding your head, all he has to do is lift his arms and you’re clinging to him, body above his with your face hidden into the crook of his neck. With tightly wrapped arms, you cling to him like a child that clings to a stuffed animal after a bad dream, and he wonders just how much of this is a bad dream. Hearing you cry is certainly something that makes him want to hold onto you even tighter, to press you against his body despite the spots and holes that litter him. However, in the same shaky breaths that you take, you call his name, hushed and full of grief, the same grief that holds warmth and familiarity.

He hopes that you don’t slip into one of his spots. “I would think about you at work,” he starts. “A lot. I’d have your picture set as my lock screen.” He wraps his arms, and you get comfortable above him, shifting and nuzzling onto his shoulder. “Sometimes, I couldn’t focus on work because I’d be too busy thinking about you. And I’d wonder if you missed me as much as I missed you.” Your hands lay flat against his back, and he wonders if by chance, you missed his spots. He runs his hand up and down your spine, making sure that he remembers how warm you are, and how your heart beats against his chest. “My coworkers always wanted to meet you, but I couldn’t let them. I couldn’t let you get near them. I was scared that maybe, you’d realize that I wasn’t all that you made me out to be, and that you’d leave me.”

Tears wet his skin, and the way that the droplet runs over the rim of a spot, has him unable to breathe. He dips his head, wanting to press a kiss against your crown. He’s forgotten that he no longer has lips, that any gentleness that he could have given you has been torn away.

“I wanted you. I thought- I would think about how when the project was over, I’d leave. I’d give Fisk and Dr. Octavius my research and notes and I’d leave. And in a good life, in a happy ending, I would be able to. We’d move elsewhere, get a cat or maybe a snake. I’d get to sleep beside you every night and and I’d get to wake up to you every morning.”

“Your co-workers called me- one of them. They asked if I had seen anything strange.” You sniffle, and you pull away, and your hands only move to clasp onto his biceps.

“What did you tell them?”

“That I wasn’t sure what they meant.” A heavy hand of white contrasts against your skin, and he wipes away the tear that has fallen. “I asked what happened to you- played dumb and they bought it.”

“What did they say?”

You lean into his touch. “They hung up on me and they haven’t called again.”

“Has my family contacted you?” You shake your head. “Good. I never wanted you to meet them.” At your frown, he continues. “You deserve to be surrounded by good people. Not them.” Your nails dig into his back, and the same hands that traced over his veins and cradled him, are the same that drag down and make him bleed. “I knew about your phobia, and I still came to you. I thought to myself that out of everyone, you wouldn’t turn me away. It was silly, I know.”

“I’m sorry,” you croak out. “I’m so sorry.” All that you can do is repeat your apologies, whispered and broken, repeated like a prayer, and in every word, in every syllable, there is grief and regret, and it tastes bitter. You cling to him, and you apologize, like a child crying to their mother, apologetic over a broken vase, begging their mother to still love them even after all the wrongs that have been committed, and at the end of the day, the love is still there, but the vase is broken. “I wish that you met someone better than me.”

He’s silent, and he looks at his hands, the same ones that run up and down your spine, and he wonders if you would hold his hand again.

“Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I think about how you looked at me that night. And sometimes I wish that I had died that night. That I wasn’t-” his voice wavers and in a hushed whisper he continues- “this.” His hands clench over your shirt, balling up the fabric. “Then maybe you’d have a nice last image of me. And then maybe you’d still want me. I wonder what would have happened to me. If they would give me a funeral, or if they’d rip my body apart and never lay me to rest.” You only cling tighter to him. “When I can’t sleep, I think about what I would tell you. I would tell you that you were mean, and I would never have done that to you. And that as awful as you were that night-” he lets out a shaky breath- “I never stopped thinking about you. I wanted to stay right by your side. I would have done whatever it is that you had wanted me to- I would have hidden myself and only came out when you asked me to.” He hopes that you’ll cling to him just a bit longer, that you won’t pull away. “When I came by that night and found you crying in the living room, I wanted to hold you again; make whatever bad happened, disappear. But it was me. I was the bad thing that happened,” he whispers.

“It wasn’t you. Not entirely. It was me” His spots jolt. “It- It was the way that I treated you. How I still missed you, but that I didn’t have to because it wasn’t like you were gone.”

“Just my good looks.” There’s a hint of sarcasm buried into his words.

You laugh, and the hands lay flat on his back, cradling over his shoulder blades. “You’re still tall- I’d count that as a win.” Your breath is warm against him, and when you pull away, looking at him, there are tears in your eyes. “I wish that I told you that night to stay. I really wanted to, but it felt selfish to ask that of you. I couldn’t do that.”

“I wish you did,” he says without hesitation.

“I wish I did too.”

“When I grabbed my clothes, I uh- I took a shirt of yours. It’s creepy-” he turns his head and even if he is unsure if blood still runs through him and makes him human, he feels warm- “but I wasn’t thinking. I just- I’m sorry.” He bows his head and your hands slip away from his back, to cradle at his head.

“Johnathan,” you say quietly, “I’m literally sleeping in one of your shirts.”

“That’s different. That’s cute. You’re cute. I’m- Look at me. I stole something of yours. I just- I had to be reminded of something of yours. I needed you to keep me warm at night.”

“Can you stay tonight?” He leans closer, your hand cradling his face, moves to hold the back of his head. “I don’t think I can handle watching you leave right now.” He’s silent, unsure if he heard you correctly. “Please, Johnathan.”

“Ask me that again.”

You comply. “Can you stay the night, Johnathan.”

If he could, he’d kiss you. He’d carve himself a mouth, give himself jaws and teeth and lips, pick apart at his flesh and fashion his bones into canines and molars, just to give you one last kiss- tender and parting, just to show you that he really did care for you. He’d bleed himself out, let himself get torn apart if only he could kiss you. Even now, without lips and a tongue, the sugar still rests heavy, and the blood that you’ve spilled is overpowering and makes him unable to speak without threatening to give you his all, to have you look at him, and to forever look at him.

Your eyes stare into a black hole that will never stop looking at you, that will continue to take in all the light and capture it for itself. He’s selfish in staying, and you are terrible for asking him to stay. And in this room where the lamp casts a golden glow, and he holds you in his body, limbs entangle, words that tore apart skin and hands that rubbed over the wounds, there is no safer place that he would rather be. He’d stare at you every day, swallow you whole and take the poison that runs through your body and is seeped into your blood.

He holds you in the orange glow, lets you hide yourself in his chest, and lets your body twist to not enter him. And he holds all of you, hoping that in the morning, he’ll remember the smell of your lotion, and the soft thumping of your heart under his thumb.

135 notes · View notes

lunargrapejuice · 8 months

Note

I am new to your blog. Can I say that I absolutely love your work! Your blog is like the perfect blend of fluff, wholesome, angst and horny (pls don’t hate on me for the last one but I just love the way how you write smut). You are so talented and your work is so immersive.

I also love how you are unabashed about being a fangirl and posting the self ship arts that you commission. I love seeing them. I am currently in university and I am barely scraping by for rent and living but someday I also want to get self ship arts with my favs 😩

I also love Diluc a lot. He was the first 5 star I got (in my first 20 wishes. I was so lucky. I got him before he even appeared in my story haha). The minute I saw him, I fell in love with him. And after getting to know him, I fell harder (lol look at me talk about him like he is real life man hihihi). Anyways I have this theory that Diluc’s love language is acts of service. I believe this because of his character. He loves his nation and he served it in any way he can - first as a Knight and now as a vigilante. He is not very obvious about it. I have a feeling that sometimes he knows about Kaeya’s missions and he intervenes in a covert fashion if the mission is too dangerous. Kaeya knows but Kaeya will not point it out because he doesn’t want Diluc to become skittish.

And it’s the same with you as well. When he initially starts dating you, it starts of small. You don’t even notice it. When he is at your doorstep, about to knock, he notices that your doorknob is loose. That’s dangerous so after dropping you back, he will fix it in the middle of the night as he guards Mondstadt. Or how when you cook dinner for him, he will insist on cleaning up but not just that, he’ll meticulously put things back in order and make a mental note of the supplies that need to be replenished. Or when you go out on a chilly night, he knows that your cardigan isn’t sufficient to keep you warm and his coat is too heavy and bulky for you to walk around in so he always carries a nice, warm scarf and gloves (that matches his) in the pocket of his jacket.

You eventually start to notice it when he becomes a constant presence in your life. He often stays over at your place instead of the tavern now. All your stationary supplies never seem to run out. You could have sworn that you were running out of shampoo but now there was a brand new bottle in the bathroom. On nights that you took longer to arrive home, if he was in Mondstadt and not on a mission, he’d prepare a nice warm meal for you. He will massage your shoulders and remark how stiff they are because you overwork (look in the mirror, Diluc). Even in days when he has missions, he quietly enters your home while you are asleep, and notices how your duvet is slipping off your frame. He will gently drape it around you, he cannot wait to be in bed with you and share your warmth. So he will take a quick shower and slowly slip into the bed with you. You always wake up earlier than he does because you have to work. You leave him to sleep (obviously after kissing him on his cheek or forehead) wishing you could stay with him but duty calls. He wakes up to find you gone. Although he has a busy day, he will check if any chores in your house needs to be done. He will clean the dishes that you left after breakfast and clean the house. He finally will make the bed and leave you a note with cute messages. He always will sign it with an intricate D

ANON PLEASE I AM CRYING OVER EVERY SINGLE BIT OF THIS (happy tears ofc)

thank you so much for your kind & thoughtful words & for reading my writing 🥺🩷 it means so much to me🩷🩷 i could never hate another smut lover hehe

ahhh these men got me good i don’t know how to not fan girl like mad plus i am addicted to getting self ship arts done (my wallet not so much either lolol) but i am glad you enjoy it, I love seeing people gush about their favs too it’s the best & just so wholesome & sweet🥰💕

ooo lucky baby! that’s so awesome he was your first 5 star!🥰❤️ it took like 2 years before he came home to me fjfkfkfk but i totally feel falling in love with him from first sight - dreamy longing sigh heh AND EVEN MORE SO AFTER WHAT YOU WROTE AHHH 😭😭🩷 YES 1000% AGREE WITH ALL OF THIS! he’s so thoughtful & sweet & he really does show that in the ways he looks after you🩷 watching over his brother too fjdkfkfk !!!! YOU ARE AFTER MY HEART ARENT YOU

WHY IS HE SO PERFECT 🥺😭❤️

#I cannot live without the ragbros #thank you so much for taking the time to send this!❤️❤️#it makes me smile so very much 🥰🩷#🌙asks

7 notes · View notes

wonderlandleighleigh · 2 years

Note

Can u write a scene between Rose and Lenny where she gives him her stamp of approval in a way that only Ross Weissman knows how to give a stamp of approval

He doesn't usually receive letters on scented stationary, but he doesn't know what he expected from Midge's mother.

This, he supposes.

Dear Leonard -

Please meet me at the following address at Thursday at 1 pm.

"Fuck," Lenny huffs.

The tea house he shows up at is huge, and ornate, and in his black suit and tie he sticks out like a sore thumb. But he finds Rose Weissman quickly and stands there awkwardly.

"Hello," he says.

Rose smiles and gets to her feet, briefly shaking his hand. "Hello, Leonard. Thank you so much for meeting me."

"Well, it's not every day I get such nice-smelling mail," he tells her. "I figured I should take it seriously."

"Please, take a seat," she says, as they both sit down. "I'm assuming you're not a tea fan."

"I don't suppose they have gin," Lenny tries.

Rose just stares.

"Coffee's good," he says quickly.

Rose beams and orders his coffee for him. "Do you like rugelach, Leonard?"

"Sure," he shrugs.

She orders that, too, and they both sit in silence, Lenny folding his hands on the table as he watches Midge's mother and she watches him.

Rose Weissman is a very prim woman. A well-dressed, pretty lady with a lot of dignity and poise. It's hard for him to see any of Midge in the woman. Maybe her pasture. Her fashion sense, sure. But Rose is subdued. Proper.

He just saw Midge two nights ago, and he already misses her. That's not something that's ever happened to him before. Not really. Longing for a feeling, sure. But a single specific person? This is so new.

The coffee and rugelach show up quickly and Lenny is thankful for something else to do other than sit awkwardly.

"Now," Rose says as she sips her tea. "I wanted to speak with you about Miriam."

"O...kay," Lenny says, swallowing his coffee. "What about Midge?"

"Things seem to be going well with the two of you."

"I think so."

"You've been seeing each other for six months."

"Yes," he confirms, going over the plan for their six month anniversary dinner in his head quickly. "Six months tomorrow."

"Miriam seems very happy," Rose informs him. "Relaxed. At ease."

He doesn't tell Midge's mother how many orgasms it's taken to get Midge to that point. Nope. Nope nope. "Well, she's been a good influence on me, as well."

"Yes, you're looking well," Rose comments. "Your color is good, you're obviously eating a bit, your cheeks aren't as sunken in anymore."

He finds himself turning a little red. "I uh..."

"The point is, I spoke with Abe," Rose goes on. "And he's already given you his permission to marry Miriam."

Lenny blinks, remembering that particular awkward conversation. "He did."

"Well. This is my permission," Rose informs him. "I'm going to take Miriam out of my matchmaking book."

"You have a matchmaking book."

"Of course I do."

"Oh."

"And I'm taking Miriam's name out," Rose tells him. "Because as far as I am concerned, she is settled. She has you."

He stares at her for a long, long moment, and the millions of different things that can go wrong in all of this. Relapsing back into his addiction. Being convicted and thrown into a workhouse. Beaten up by some uppity cops and winding up in a coma. There are a million ways he could leave Midge without really meaning to.

"Leonard?"

He takes a breath and nods. "Yeah. Uh. Yeah."

"Should I not...? Take her name out of my book...?"

"Can I be honest with you, Rose?" he asks.

"That depends."

"I'm scared," he admits.

Rose goes quiet, looking speechless.

"I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about your daughter," Lenny tells her. "I really love her. And I'm worried I'll fu-...screw it all up."

Rose regards him silently for a long moment before speaking again. "The point of a relationship is to see those things through together. I think that's what Miriam ran from with Benjamin. What she never quite had with Joel. Perhaps something that was missing from your first marriage as well?"

He looks down at his coffee. He doesn't have to answer for Rose to know she's right.

"Be scared, Lenny," Rose tells him. "But be scared together, with Miriam." She sips her tea. "In the meantime, I'll take her name from my book. Eat your rugelach."

And he does.

#fic #au #tmmm #Midge/Lenny #Midge x Lenny #Rose Weissman

78 notes · View notes

defensivelee · 8 months

Text

Six Lives Won't Make You Happy: If All the Devils Shall Submit

At last here it is.....the first chapter! James gets his six lives after his brother's death, William survives a couple assassination attempts, and M&W meet because how could you separate them. They are in love. Welcome to the beautiful and noble city of New Amsterdam <3

Here is the reference/guide post for anyone who needs to know What's Going On

CW: violence, light descriptions of gore, murder, addiction, mentioned overdose, drinking, smoking, drug use, explicit sex scene, implied child abuse.

The sword wasn’t meant to be used for another fifty years, at least. It had been in the family long enough for it to have been touched by a devil at one point, centuries ago when those noble creatures still roamed the Earth. That was what saved it; there was no rusting visible upon the silver that reflected the flames from above.

No, it was a different kind of red that dyed it, the kind of red that dripped and made puddles on the ground. Mary watched her father lift it high above his head, the blood falling to his fingers before he sheathed the sword at last. It wouldn’t come out again for what would hopefully be more than fifty years. Maybe two hundred, if James was smart.

“The final task is finished,” James announced. “Come out, you devil. Give me what you owe me.”

All around the dark room, the flames on the torches seemed to burn brighter all at once, and a voice spoke over them. “You do not tell a devil to come out,” it said.

The carved images of ancient devils on the walls were as stationary as ever, but Mary knew they were all here, watching them. Mocking them, perhaps. She narrowed her eyes.

Do you think we owe you any reverence?

“I may now,” James retorted. “For though your life is long, you still only have one. And my soul will outlive yours, once my body decays. I have six lives to change the world around me. All of your kind fled this world and left it for the Overlifers to inherit.”

“We never did specify it was for you.” The devil went silent for a moment, then went on. “Nevermind. James Stewart. You have received your six lives after finishing the tasks we set out for you. The power of the devils runs through your blood. Harness it wisely. And...remember that we have always been watching you.”

“If you are implying what I think you are, then just know that I don’t care what you’ve seen.” James flicked his tail impatiently. “Are we done here?”

“Your brother wasn’t like this when he received his lives.”

“My brother,” James said through gritted teeth, “is dead.” He turned around, jerking his head at Mary. “Come on. They’re just wasting our time now.”

“I hope to see you here soon, Mary,” the devil called out after them as Mary opened the heavy doors.

“Ew, he knows my name,” Mary huffed once they were outside of the room, the halls around them being lit up by only a few fading light bulbs. “They didn’t seem to like you very much.”

“They’re not supposed to like me,” James said. “I expect their full submission when our project is finished. It shouldn’t take very long. All Charles did was play around with the idea.” He looked up at one of the bulbs, the curious markings around his eyes and cheeks seeming to glow as if they had been flashed with a black light. “Well, Mary? Are they still there?”

“The marks of an Overlifer?” Mary nodded. “Yes, sir, still there.”

“Ah, perfect.” James put his head back down, lifting a hand to run a finger along one of his horns. Charles’ had been bigger, and curved differently, but Mary remembered that she preferred playing with her father’s horns when she was younger. “Well, then. Six lives, Mary. The potential! What can I do with them?” He laughed to himself, and Mary smiled to see him so pleased.

“Surviving assassination attempts, for one,” she said. “I think as long as you’re careful, you can live for a very long time. Didn’t the oldest Overlifer live on for four hundred years or something?”

“I plan to go past that,” James said. “One thousand, if possible. Aging won’t be a hell anymore, as long as I’m not on the last life.” He laughed again, walking past her towards the stairs. “The Disciples of Restoration are mine now. I have six lives to change theirs. Six lives to change the world.” His eyes flashed as he looked back at her. “And you, Mary?”

“I’ll be beside you forever, sir,” she said, bowing her head. “Where you go, I follow. If changing the world is what you want to do, then I will do so as well.”

“What a relief to hear it,” James sighed. “After the amount of treachery I’ve seen in this world, at least I have you.”

🝰🝰🝰

“It says right here, Hans, that historically there have been Allies that were able to shift their sight to miles away from where they were standing!” William tapped a finger on the phone screen. “Do you know how useful that would be?”

“I’d feel worse about it if you never brought it up,” Bentinck said. He leaned into the mirror and adjusted the choker around his neck. He wasn’t one to obsess over his appearance, but lately he had wanted to look better whenever he took visitors and worshippers. “You know I couldn’t choose my powers. Besides, I have the fangs already.” He jerked a finger towards his mouth.

“How can those possibly be useful?” William muttered.

“Uh...to kidnap people?”

“Ugh, yeah, maybe.” William shook his head. “Still, you’re a man, not a snake. If the devils wanted to give you a majestic wildlife superpower, they should have chosen another animal.” He smiled as he spoke his next words. “You were already some kind of snake, weren’t you?”

“I don’t like the implications of that,” Bentinck said, eyes widening briefly. “Why are you bitching about it now, though? It’s been a while.”

“Because now would be a great time to check up on what the Disciples are doing,” William said, getting up from the sofa. “They’ve been silent for days.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Well, yes, if I knew why,” William said. “I just feel like they’re planning something. An assassination attempt, it feels like. Charles said he would call me back, but it’s been so long. I’ve lost count of how many times I tried calling him.”

“How very mysterious of them,” Bentinck said. He was now looking through one of his boxes that stored all of the jewelry and rather indecent clothing he chose to wear when he received visitors as an Ally. But it wasn’t as if he had any choice; this was what Allies had worn for centuries. “Ah, but you’ll be fine! It’s not like they could kill you if they tried.”

“I would like to preserve all of my lives, though,” William said, glancing thoughtfully to the side. “You know how stupid I was last year. Never get high on your own supply, told and retold for centuries and what did I do?” He snorted, the tip of his tail twitching. “Fool that I was.”

“At least a heroin overdose is easy to pretend to recover from,” Bentinck said. “A gunshot through the head? Not so much. But cheer up, maybe they’re just really busy with...whatever they happen to be doing.”

“That’s just it, they’re never busy. The higher-ups aren’t, anyway.” It had always annoyed William, to see that the leadership of the Disciples only used its fortunes for stupid, frivolous things, rather than focusing on their goal to bring about the rule of the Overlifers throughout all of the world. In a way, he supposed it was lucky, since an Overlifer like Charles could be a dangerous rival if he wanted to be. Maybe he had been, here and there, but mostly it was his single-lifed brother that William worried about.

“Well, while they’re distracted, you could attempt to restart their war,” Bentinck said, “and this time, you would have an advantage. You could even try assassinating James or Marly again.”

“That’s a fair point...”

“See? There’s a silver lining to everything.” At last, Bentinck stepped away from the vanity desk and nudged William’s shoulder, lifting sunglasses up to his Over-marked eyes. “Come on, it’s almost seven.”

Today’s outfit somehow seemed more scandalous to William than it usually did, though that was possibly because Bentinck wasn’t wearing anything to cover his chest this time. He merely wore his favorite harness over his upper body, the one with the white straps and ribbons. But the reason Bentinck liked it so much was because there were fake flowers sprouting from it in select places, mostly near his shoulders and thighs. It made him look somewhat like one of those devils from back in the day that brought plants to Earth to please its own eyes, but ended up gifting something to the humans instead.

William didn’t like it. He didn’t like anything about the Allies; not their ridiculous sense of fashion to please the eyes of their worshippers, not their lack of devil features except for their dark eyes, and not the incredible amounts of power they could wield, depending on the individual. This was why the world needed the rule of the Overlifers. Such creatures didn’t deserve the attention that was showered upon them by the public. And no, the rule of the Disciples wouldn’t do. It would all be the same with them; oh, debauched, amoral them— what the world needed was the rule of the Overlifers like William and the Devils of Orange-Nassau.

But, of course, it was in William’s best interests to keep a powerful Ally at his side, and what better choice was there than his friend Bentinck? He would have become one himself, but the rituals required that the Ally not have any devil ancestry behind them, and William quite literally wore his on his head. And besides, he wasn’t sure he could have handled listening to all the problems and prayers of every ordinary, boring worshipper that loved him so much, and he certainly couldn’t handle whatever that imaginary dress code was.

No, Bentinck was perfect. He was loyal, and honest, genuinely out to help, nothing like those scheming Allies who had only fought the devils for the money and worship it brought them. Sure, William had wanted the power as well, but he told himself it was for more practical reasons.

“Fix your face, you look like someone just beheaded themselves in front of you,” Bentinck muttered into his ear as they stepped out of the elevator. Bentinck usually took visitors here, on the lowest floor of one of William’s hotels. This one was called Mycenae, and it was the largest, and most successful, one that he owned, standing right in the middle of New Amsterdam.

“Why are there so many of you tonight?” William blurted upon seeing the line in front of the room that Bentinck sat in. Luckily, nobody heard him, with how much they were chattering, but Bentinck elbowed him in the ribs, anyway.

“Someone’s popular,” he said with a knowing grin.

“Look who’s talking!” William huffed. He stepped beside the doors that were painted in Bentinck’s image, showcasing him covered in jewels and gold. “Let the Ally pass!” he called over the voices. “Come on, show some respect!”

“Yes, be patient,” Bentinck said as he walked towards the doors. The crowd fell silent almost instantly, watching his every move with awe. “I am pleased to see you all again. Ah, but some faces are new, I see.” He looked up, his eyes darting from one person to the next.

Is he looking for someone? William pushed the thought away. It was absurd; he couldn’t imagine Bentinck remembering everyone who came to see him.

“I await your prayers inside,” Bentinck said. “Remember to tip!” He bowed his head and ducked inside the room, William having to shut the door with his tail.

And so it was the same thing as always, with William standing outside the room and making sure everyone dropped a bit of money into the slot right beside the doors. He had no idea what Bentinck did in there, but he suspected it was a lot of very boring listening. And talking. While Bentinck was half-naked and surrounded by drooling fans.

This part of his day always made him feel a little nervous. Bentinck typically sat here for four hours, and William would stand outside for at least an hour before he got bored and wandered off to do something else. Perhaps it made people less willing to tip without his stare enforcing it, but it wasn’t as if he needed the extra money.

But the main reason he was always eager to leave was because it was so easy for someone to assassinate him like this. He had always been somewhat aware of the possibility; everywhere he went, his tail would lash up instinctively near his head to take the worst of a bullet should one ever be fired at him. He felt infinitely more secure with an Ally beside him, but everyday, Bentinck would leave him alone for four hours and he was in danger. He was such an easy target, standing here in front of these doors. And like Bentinck said, it wasn’t easy to fake a recovery from a bullet to the head.

You died, they’d all say. You were dead on arrival. How did you heal this way?

And then they’d see the markings on his eyes and cheeks and realize what he was. He’d be executed, over and over again until they were sure he was dead. The Overlifers were not easily forgiven.

He had played it all out in his head before. He couldn’t afford to lose another life, not so soon after he had lost the first one.

When the hour had passed, he couldn’t have been more relieved. Of course, no one was enforcing that he had to stay until the hour was over, but it had sort of been a countdown that he had created. He owed that much to Bentinck, at least.

He walked past the line of people, ignoring the eyes that wished to catch a glimpse of one of the richest people in New Amsterdam and indeed, the world. He wondered which one hid the R on their neck behind a scarf, or a necklace, perhaps, and which one would have shoved a knife through his throat had he stayed.

🝰🝰🝰

It was almost a work of art. Charles’ body was pinned to the wall with knives buried into each of his limbs, dried blood starting to crust over his clothes. One particular detail that Mary noticed the artist left behind was that one of Charles’ horns had been sawed off and stabbed into his neck, forcing his head up towards the ceiling. It was sort of clever, in Mary’s opinion.

His cheeks had also been split open, giving him a kind of perpetual, bloody smile. She knew everyone who had seen the body had been rather unsettled by the state that it had been left in; even James, who had almost certainly killed more people than she had, had made a face upon seeing the body.

She blinked up at Charles’ empty gaze and looked back at James.

“I suppose we must get this cleaned up.” He sighed, looking around the walls now spattered with blood. “What’s it been, three days?”

“You haven’t announced his death yet, have you?” Mary asked.

“No, that’d bring the cops in, and you know we have enough trouble with them as it is.” James stepped forward and began to tug the horn out of Charles’ throat. It was huge; it could almost be a dagger in its own right. “By the devils, it cut deep.”

“Do you intend to keep it?”

“The horn?” James chuckled. “Yes. Do we not owe him that, at least? He was a fine leader.”

“I thought you didn’t like his strategy,” Mary said.

“Well, when it worked, it worked.” He shrugged and finally tore the horn out, lifting it to his lips to taste the blood there. “Oh, yes. I will definitely be keeping this.”

Mary let her gaze fall back on Charles. She could handle a lot of things, but seeing her father drink blood was not one of them. She thought it may have something to do with his devil ancestry, though it wasn’t very common for devil descendants to have kept the powers and desires of their forefathers.

“Come on, Mary, they’re waiting for us,” James called, and she realized he was now walking out of the room.

“Yes, sir.”

The room where the highest authorities of the Disciples of Restoration met was already full when James and Mary entered. They fell silent as James sat down, Mary taking a seat by Anne.

“You’re stepping on my tail,” Anne hissed through gritted teeth, and Mary shifted her feet.

“You know not to keep it in that position already,” she said.

“I can keep my tail where I like-”

“Mary. Anne.” James flicked his tail behind him in a warning. “I thought you were well past the point of childish arguments. This is important. Pay attention.”

“Yes, sir,” Mary said, jerking her head away from Anne. Her face flushed at having to be scolded in front of her father’s vassals, most of which she hardly liked, anyway. She knew they respected her only because she was her father’s daughter, and now stood to inherit whatever bloody mess he left behind when he died. And a future Overlifer was not to be trifled with.

“I suspect there is treason in our midst,” James began. “The manor of the Disciples is one of the most heavily guarded structures in all of New Amsterdam. There is no way an assassin should have gotten all the way into Charles’ room, unless our guards were paid off...or it was one of us.”

“Mary isn’t the best assassin in the world,” Anne spoke up. “She’s pulled off similar jobs. If she can do it, I’m sure the Devils of Orange-Nassau can do it as well.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Mary curled her lip back in the beginnings of a snarl.

“No, a compliment, of course,” Anne said, rolling her eyes. “You’re just the best at ending lives, aren’t you?”

“I like to think she is,” James interrupted coolly. “As I was saying, it could be any one of us, or it could be that some kind of bribery is going on. None of us had a reason to want Charles dead.”

Is he being serious right now? Mary tilted her head to the side. She had plenty of evidence that that wasn’t true.

“He led us well, and when the Disciples inherit the Earth, he’ll be remembered as one of the greatest leaders we’ve ever had,” James went on. “But now it is my turn to lead you all into the paradise we’ve all been waiting for. And that begins by avenging the death of my brother.” He slammed his fist onto the table, and nearly everyone sitting at it flinched. “I have every reason to believe that it was those Devils!”

There were the ancestors, and then there were the Devils of Orange-Nassau. Mary didn’t need their full name to know which one James was talking about.

“Only an Ally could be so brutal as to take away every remaining life that belongs to an Overlifer,” he spat. “It could only be William himself or his pet Ally that he sent to finish the job.”

William. Mary watched in grim satisfaction as every gaze around the table seemed to darken at the mention of the leader of their rivals. It didn’t look like anyone here could possibly have wanted to help him, but then, she knew firsthand how deceptive one had to be to survive here.

“So he is to be eliminated first,” James said. “If we could capture his irritating Ally, that would also be a great help. But for now, killing William is the way to start, especially when he hasn’t received his six lives yet.” He turned his head to Mary, who felt her heart drop at what she knew he was about to say.

Here it comes. My mission from birth.

“You, Mary, will be in charge of getting rid of him,” he said. “I want him to suffer. Bring his body here when you’re done with it. I want to make an example of it to the Devils of Orange-Nassau. Let them know that the Disciples are no longer playing their games.”

“Of course, sir.” She had always hated being reminded of her most important mission, ever since she was a child.You’ll end the Devils for us, girl. Now, she’d get it over with.

“He’ll hopefully be here this Saturday, after I announce Charles’ death. We are hosting a private Celebration of the Six Lives, and no one but our kind and the Devils of Orange-Nassau are to be allowed in. Is that clear?” He waited for a second while everyone nodded. “Very good. That’s when you can strike, Mary. I expect he’ll have his Ally with him, but you’ve always found a way around bodyguards, so I don’t think this should be any harder for you.”

“I’ll finish the job before you even realize he’s gone,” Mary promised.

“But—!”

She winced. It was Maria Beatrice who had spoken; of course, it had to be her, the only person who ever found something to pick apart in James’ plans, which was curious in Mary’s eyes considering the two were married. Sometimes James valued her insight, but it was more often than not that he’d reprimand her right there, in front of everyone.

“What?” James’ gaze snapped over to her.

“Do we...know for sure that it’s William?” Maria said. “I know we can’t go to the police, but shouldn’t we at least run our own private investigation? Do we not owe that much to your brother, after all he’s done for us?”

“Are you defending William?” James narrowed his eyes.

“No, but it would be a waste of Mary’s time —and clothes— if she had to kill someone who may have actually had nothing to do with the murder,” Maria said. “Why would she want to get her hands dirty at your Celebration of the Six Lives?”

“Surely it’s no problem,” the Ally Marly spoke up on the other end of the table. “Mary likes killing people, doesn’t she?”

“Why are you discussing my opinions on my plan without me?” Mary growled. “You know that my mission from birth was to eliminate all our rivals, and this is currently our biggest one. It doesn’t matter why or how.”

“You just assassinated a CEO last week, Mary, I think you deserve a break,” Maria said, reaching over to pat her arm.

“That was last week,” Mary said. “Seriously, I appreciate all your worries for me—” She shot a glare at Marly across the table. “—but it’s fine. I can kill William and get back to stream the party in the same night.”

“You are not streaming my Celebration,” James said sternly.

“Oh, please, my followers love it when I’m at a party,” Mary said, waving a hand in the air. “Just a reminder that their girl has a real life too, you know?”

“Fine, but thirty minutes only,” James said. “As for you, Maria, William was always destined to die by our hand at some point. He just brought it upon himself by killing Charles.”

“What she was saying was that we can’t know that it was for sure William,” Anne said. “Could’ve been anyone else not connected to the Devils of Orange-Nassau. We all liked Uncle Charles, yes, but I can think of plenty of normie fuckers who’d want a multi-millionaire dead. And it’d look strange if we didn’t put an effort into finding out who killed him. Almost as if we were the ones who did it.”

“Ugh.” James ran a hand over his face and then pointed it at Anne. “Very well. You find the killer.”

“What?” Anne jumped in her seat. “Why me? I mean- if you really think it’s William, then-”

“Because it was Maria’s idea and you ran with it,” James snarled, standing so quickly that the chair he sat on nearly fell over. “Because I don’t have the time to do it myself. And because I don’t want to hear another objection that comes out of your mouth about this, do I make myself clear?” His tail lashed threateningly behind him.

Mary shut her eyes. Here was another thing she didn’t like seeing from her father.

There was a moment of silence before Anne spoke again. “Yes, sir.”

“Thank you. Now, all we have is the Celebration of the Six Lives to worry about.” James motioned at Maria with his tail to follow him out the door. “Mary will kill William. Anne will find out if it really was William, but does it matter?” He turned around to briefly grin at them all. “He’ll be dead by Sunday.”

🝰🝰🝰

“I thought you didn’t like parties. Especially ones where everybody is for sure going to be smoking.”

“Smoking or smoking hot?” William glanced at his reflection in the dark window of the limousine and adjusted his sunglasses around his eyes.

“Why are you asking that?” Bentinck snorted. “You know I just meant smoking.”

“No, I didn’t. Knowing you, it could be anything.”

“You need to work on your comprehension of figurative language.”

“Maybe you just need to work on your clarity,” William said, batting his tail at Bentinck’s nose. It always felt awfully cramped to have his tail inside a car. He didn’t know how or where to curl it, especially with the way it bent awkwardly near the top.

“Well, anyway, I just didn’t expect you to want to attend the Celebration of the Six Lives,” Bentinck said. “Especially since it’ll just be us there, no? Could be dangerous.”

Maybe. But William didn’t say that, only turned around and rolled his eyes. “They wouldn’t attempt anything at such a big event. Charles dead, and then me? It’d look very suspicious for them.”

“On the other hand, they might think it’s the best time to strike,” Bentinck said. “You’re a big man, you know, with corporations under your wing just the same as Charles. With both of you assassinated in such rapid succession, it'd look as if some wayward anarchist was just trying to get their way rather than the restarting of any ancient wars between terrorists.”

“Terrorist is such a boring term,” William said with a flick of his tail. “Besides, Hanni, we’re not terrorists. We’re the future of this planet. I prefer the term saviors.”

Bentinck made a face. “Somehow I don’t think the government is going to look at it that way.”

“They don’t need a way to look at it, because they’ll all be dead,” William said pleasantly. “Now. Stop complaining.”

Bentinck paused, then bowed his head. “Yes, sir.”

They didn’t speak again as William spent the rest of his ride fiddling with the glasses on his face. He couldn’t get them in a proper position that wouldn’t bother him, and he wondered if it would look strange if he arrived with them on, especially now that it was night.

Definitely strange. He sighed. There was no easy way to go about it, though. They didn’t know he was an Overlifer yet, and he had to hide his eyes.

“Well, Hanni, try to act normal when we’re inside,” William said as he hopped out of the limo when they arrived, twitching his tail as a thank you to the chauffeur that held the door open. “Don’t start a fight with James’ Ally.”

“He’s the one who’s always trying to kill you.”

“And you know that he couldn’t,” William said. He looked Bentinck up and down at the doors of the manor. “I’m just glad you’re not wearing your hooker clothes again. You look good in a tuxedo.”

“Why, I’ll have you know that the so-called hooker clothes are traditional,” Bentinck said with a huff. “But thank you, William. You are the very portrait of regal dignity, if I do say so myself.”

“Oh, my, flattery? What are you up to now?” William grinned at him, and with that the two turned around and entered the manor.

The first thing William noticed was the stench. There weren’t any cigarettes in sight in the hall they had entered through, but he could smell the smoke all the way over here.

Ugh. He shook his head. Just another way these Disciples failed at their cause.

“Forgetting something?” A handsome face dangled upside down from the high ceiling, shadowy ribbons holding the lithe body up. William jumped back, his tail held up defensively before he realized that he knew this creature.

The ancient dwaallicht spirit Monmouth. He was said to have been a duke at one point, or something else, hence the many names, and his whole thing, besides the impressive shapeshifting, was the fact that he’d only attack you if you had forgotten something on your way in or out of a doorway. Somehow he always knew. William would have found it irritating had he not thought it was mildly creepy.

“Um...no.” At least, he hoped he hadn’t.

“Correct! You may pass!” Monmouth pulled himself back up, sweeping a cape over himself and shifting into a crow in the blink of an eye. “Right this way, little humans.”

“Little!” William rolled his eyes and looked at Bentinck as the two followed Monmouth down the hall. “We’re not so little, are we?”

“Don’t make me answer that,” Bentinck said. “What I’m wondering is why they’re still keeping that pest around. I thought they only tolerated him because of Charles.”

“Maybe James will surprise us.” William shrugged. “Besides, you two are by all technicalities related.”

“The Allies and the dwaallicht remnants have very different origins,” Bentinck said with a growl. “Do not compare us.”

The crow led them into the same room where William recalled having attended Charles’ Celebration of the Six Lives once, when he was much younger. Still, it was strange that Charles was dead already. William could’ve sworn he had a few lives left, at least.

This particular room had paintings and sculptures of the ancient devils all over the walls, some wearing chains on their wrists and ankles as accessories, showcasing the utter contempt that the Disciples viewed the devils and Allies with. He supposed it made sense, he didn’t care much for those beings either, but it felt rather on the nose for him.

And by all the stars, it was unbearable here. Half of every person William could see held a cigarette in their hand, including the newest Overlifer himself, sitting at a decorated table and talking through the smoke coming from his mouth like some kind of smug dragon. He caught sight of William across the room and raised an eyebrow, waving at him once.

“Are you going to speak to him?” Bentinck asked.

“N-Not now,” William said, clearing his throat. “By the devils, if they knew I was going to be here- they couldn’t have, I don’t know-” He tried to clear his throat again and shook his head. “Dirty Disciples—!” He covered his mouth so his coughs wouldn’t be so loud, and he felt Bentinck’s hand on his shoulder.

“Do you want your inhaler?” he whispered.

“Not yet—!” William attempted to smile. “I think we just- we ought to sit down.”

“Right this way, sir.” Bentinck nudged him forward and the two began searching for any table that might have been reserved for them.

“Thank you,” William murmured. He was glad he at least had Bentinck with him; he hadn’t bothered with slippery bodyguards ever since his friend had become an Ally.

They sat down, and William looked around warily. There was never anything to do at the Celebrations, except talk and wait for the new Overlifer to speak. And then everyone got drunk and declared that it was the best party they’ve ever been to, except that if they told anyone who wasn’t an associate of the Disciples, they’d be killed.

It was pretty risky, attending these parties.

“Does James just want to rub it in my face?” He looked back at James, who wore his most familiar smile, and possibly his most threatening. It was the kind of smile that looked vaguely arrogant and pleasantly annoyed. William had seen it covered in blood.

Is he planning something?

“Oh, absolutely,” Bentinck said, and for a moment William thought he had read his mind. “He wants to show you that he’ll not be so easy to kill now. I think we should kill him anyway, though. Ugh, look at his smirk. SO suspicious. He’s probably planning to kill you first.”

“But you would protect me, right?” William let out in an exaggerated drawl.

“Hmm…”

“Why are you thinking about it?!” William cried, and Bentinck started laughing so hard he almost knocked over his empty wine glass.

“I would think about it too, sir,” a gentle voice announced behind them both, “as someone like you is not easy to follow.”

Who dares? William turned around abruptly, only to be faced by a woman he had never seen before. She was a bit taller than even Bentinck, and despite the darkness of her eyes, he could see the fire that blazed behind the glasses she wore. She was some kind of threat, he knew immediately.

But she had no features that marked her as an ancestor of the devils; no tail lashing under her short skirt, no horns over her dark hair, nails painted black rather than claws.

Like an angel...

“Oh, tell me about it,” Bentinck cut in, interrupting William’s train of thought. “He’s always going somewhere. And like, you know, I understand he’s got places to be, but I stop to look at something for two seconds and he’s already miles away.”

“Not literally miles,” William said quickly. Under the table, he reached his foot out to step on Bentinck’s. “Why are you here?”

“Oh, that’s kind of rude, isn’t it?” the woman said. “What are parties for, sir?”

“Drugs,” William blurted.

“Socialization,” Bentinck corrected with a dirty look.

“You, Ally Bentinck, are correct,” the woman beamed. “Thank you for blessing us with your divine presence tonight.”

“Ha! And don’t you forget it,” Bentinck said, flashing a grin at William.

“And who’s your friend here?” she asked, leaning in close enough to William that he could feel her breath on his horn. “I adore your hair.”

“You don’t know me?” William could nearly growl. “I am the handler of this here Ally—”

“Oh, skies above,” the woman said, “handler is such an outdated term. Bentinck’s your friend, is he not?”

“Who are you to assume what our relationship is?” William snapped, getting to his feet.

“You may call me Mary,” she answered. The only hint that she was a little intimidated was the way she stepped back, William noted with satisfaction. “And what do I call you?”

“William...Henry,” William said, unsure of whether or not to give her his full name. Surely she was connected to the Disciples in some way, if she was here. “Nobody in particular.”

“Now that doesn’t add up, you were just complaining about me not knowing you,” Mary said, but she raised her eyebrows as if she had just figured out an impossible equation. “As if you were somebody important.”

“Will you quit bothering us?” William said, turning around to sit back down. He began to cough again as he did so, and he covered his mouth with his tail. Oh, not now!

“William, don’t be so rude,” Bentinck scolded.

“Oh, I don’t mind, my lord,” she said. “Why don’t you pour yourself some wine? I don’t believe the Overlifer will speak for a good while yet.”

“Maybe I will,” he said. “You want some, William?”

“N-No—” William’s shoulders were practically shaking now with the effort it took to try to silence his coughs. Need to be alert!

“Oh, please, maybe it’ll make you loosen up a little!” Mary said.

That’s what he wants. William glared up at her, but Bentinck was already pouring him a glass.

“Do you want your inhaler now?” he asked.

“Absolutely not,” William managed to wheeze out. It seemed to have subsided, for now. And besides, he didn’t want anyone here to see him have to use it. Especially not Mary.

“Wonderful,” Mary said, sitting right by William. “So, I’ve never had the chance to speak to another Ally besides Ally Churchill! May I ask a few things, my lord?”

“Go right ahead,” Bentinck said.

William watched them talk for a moment, then looked back down at his phone, checking if he had been sent anything important. He saw that he had another meeting to attend tomorrow, and this one was no thrilling council where he laid out his plans for the future of the Overlifer kingdom.

Just more thrilling...business...ack.

I’m sorry I’m SO successful and destined to rule the WORLD it’s not MY fault, he was tempted to send in the group chat, but closed it out before he let the thought progress. Apparently everyone agreed that shareholders sort of ruled the world, but they weren’t supposed to act like they did.

He looked up at the glass of wine that Bentinck had poured him and lifted it to his lips. Maybe drinking something would help soothe him.

🝰🝰🝰

Mary was fascinating. In a sense, she seemed a perfect mixture of somebody who told every stranger she found on the streets about her entire life story thus far and also somebody who purposely wanted to keep themselves as mysterious as possible.

I wish William would pay more attention to her, though, Bentinck thought. His friend was currently sipping on what might have been his fourth or fifth glass of wine, scrolling through his phone and occasionally hacking and wheezing at the screen. He was usually pretty awkward at parties, but he seemed more withdrawn than usual today.

Something might be wrong.

“I have a friend who’s crazy obsessed with you,” Mary said. “She has a shrine for you.”

“Oh, quite a few people do,” Bentinck said, looking back at her. “It’s almost half a million now. I obviously can’t keep track of them all, but I try.”

“I see,” she said. “I think my friend’s shrine puts all those to shame, though. She goes to see you every week.”

“Well, I have even more weekly patrons…” He wondered if they were thinking of the same person, but he wasn’t about to out his most devoted follower, just in case.

“Of course, I don’t expect you to remember her,” Mary said quickly. “Just thought you might want to know.”

“I think people might be equally obsessed with you,” he teased her. “Seven million followers? What do you even stream?”

“Oh, it depends on what I’m in the mood for,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I streamed a bit of the Celebration, actually, before you guys arrived.”

“Ah, that’s—”

Something glinted in the corner of Bentinck’s vision, something he knew no one else could see at this distance but him. He turned abruptly to the side and saw that across the room, the Ally Marly was bending over to speak into James’ ear and fiddling with something in his hand.

No...not fiddling. He’s loading a gun. Before Bentinck could look away, Marly glanced up, shoving the gun into the holster on his golden belt. His eyes like embers didn’t shift away from Bentinck.

He knows I saw. He clenched his fists on his lap. I was right.

They want to kill William.

“Something wrong?” Mary said, tilting her head to the side.

“I just...I remembered I needed to ask something.” He stood up and bowed his head at Mary. “For William. Give me a moment.”

Marly was already walking away, now and then stopping to greet a few guests before he left the room with one final glance at Bentinck.

Oh. He wants me to follow him.

He didn’t want to leave William alone here...but then, Mary was sitting right next to him, now bent down to speak into his ear. She seemed pretty trustworthy to leave behind with William; at least, for someone present at a party hosted by the Disciples. If anything, Marly was the threat here. He was an Ally, and he always seemed the Disciple most likely to kill William.

Fine. I’ll play your games. He ran his tongue over his fangs and began to walk across the room, towards the door. Nothing could go wrong, he was sure. He had stopped Marly many times before.

My power is greater than yours.

🝰🝰🝰

Stupid, bumbling mess of a devil-poisoned subject. Mary had to hide her smile as Bentinck left the table. How many times had her father told her that the Allies were the easiest to manipulate?

“Where’s Hanni going?” William slurred beside her. “He’s so handsome under these lights here...do you think maybe...I could borrow James’ chains? You know, to put them on him...when he receives visitors.”

“By all the stars, what kind of visitors does he receive?” Mary laughed.

“Mmm...hopeless, pathetic lot of people. Hanni doesn’t care about them...like he cares about me.”

“Do you really believe that?” she said.

“What, aren’t you one of...you know, them?” William lifted a finger to point vaguely at his horns. “Disciples.”

“No, what are they?” Mary said innocently.

“Oh...oh, by every remnant...you’re not one of them!” William leaned back on his chair and hacked out a cough. “Good, good, very good.”

He was infinitely more talkative now, Mary realized. It seemed the wine had worked.

“I don’t know what I did,” she said, “but I’m glad you like it.”

“I like it very much,” William said. “It’d be a shame if you were associated with them...awful, awful people...scourges on this Earth. So much bloodshed...so unnecessary, I’ll be the only one—!”

Unnecessary bloodshed. Mary looked down at her painted nails, more than a little offended on her father’s behalf (and perhaps her own). It was not unnecessary. She did what had to be done. The Overlifers were better leaders for this planet than any arrogant Ally.

Maybe she thought the torture part was a little unnecessary, since all it did was make people afraid of the Disciples. Were they not supposed to be loved?

No. No, we need the information.

Besides, it always pleases James. It pleases me.

“Only one of what?” she asked, her voice quieter now.

“No matter,” William said, lifting a finger up towards her lips. “You hate violence.”

“I do,” Mary said immediately. It was a lie and she knew it— but he seemed so sure of the fact, he hadn’t even phrased it as a question.

“Then never return here again!” William let out in what sounded to her like a delusional wheeze. “Not to someone like James. A dazzling soul should never fall here.”

“That’s a strange thing to say about someone’s soul. It’s not like you can see it.”

“Oh...” William smiled at her. “But I can see yours!”

“Y-You can?”

“Yes.” He brought a hand up to his heart. “I can see...everybody’s. Because you will all belong to me, except you, because you’re too bright...to ever submit to anybody.”

Did he really believe that? She had submitted to the will of the Disciples, and that of her father, long ago. She had submitted to the mission that was given to her from birth. What context did William have to believe that she wasn’t that kind of person?

Do I want to be that kind of person?

“How do you know that?” she prodded. William wasn’t an Overlifer, as far as she knew. He’d have no special powers, and even so, an Overlifer didn’t have an ability like the one he was describing.

“Guessing. I’m guessing.” He lifted a hand to his horns and began to tap one. “Mm.”

“Does that mean I can choose my own life?” she blurted, leaning forward. “Like, if someone says I’ve been destined to do something since birth, then do you think they’re lying to me?”

“Your life is your own,” William said with a twisted, yet definitive nod. “Until it’s mine. But also, yours will never be mine. So make your own destiny, I don’t, like...care.”

“So our destinies weren’t ever meant to intertwine, right?” Mary leaned even closer.

“Nooo. Good heavens, absolutely not.”

“So you’re telling me that I can do whatever I want and it doesn’t have to include you or anybody else?”

“It can include whoever you want, Mary.”

I want to be that person.

“What if I want you in my destiny, though?” She took his hand in hers and pulled him towards her. “What if you’re exactly what I’ve been waiting for? Can I keep you in my life, even if it’s full of a bunch of things you might not like? Can you be my one constant?”

Somebody who saw her as all she was now. Not a murderer, not a weapon, not an angel. This was all she needed.

“I suppose...having a constant factor in life is nice,” William murmured, not bothering to pull his hand away. “Hanni’s mine. I’ve never...been someone else’s constant, though. I might do it all...wrong.”

“We can learn to be each other’s,” she said, her voice breaking. By the stars, why were her eyes suddenly so moist? “I didn’t know you’d be like this.”

“Have you...heard of me, after all?”

“Yes,” Mary said. “But I don’t believe it at all. I want to know who you really are. I don’t want any secrets between us.”

“This sounds...awfully like a blood pact,” William said, sounding faintly alarmed.

“Is that something soulmates do?” Mary cried. “Wait, wait, wait—” She reached her hand out and slid her palm across the tip of William’s horn. The pain was sudden, flashing over and over again, it seemed, but she knew it was something that was needed. “I pledge my soul to you, William.”

“Bloody stars—!” William shuffled back in his seat. “Mary, what the-”

“Did I do something wrong?” she said anxiously.

“You might have. Why are you asking me?”

“Well, I don’t know. Have you ever met someone who’s changed your life so drastically with a few sentences and now you have to live with the reality of their words forever?”

“Eh...not really. Is there a way to do that correctly?”

“To have your life changed?” Mary hesitated. “I don’t know. I guess you make it up as you go, no?”

“Right. What do we do now?” He made a face. “I mean, I didn’t intend to change any lives tonight. That’s something I was planning to do five years into the future.”

“And I’ll still be there, right?” Mary reached out to cup his cheek, staining it with her blood. “Just you and me?”

“Just...you and me,” William promised, leaning into her touch.

“I think I love you.”

“Oh, that’s fucking perfect. I’ll need some heirs later, you know?”

“We’re having a family?!” Mary gasped.

“Yes!”

“We’re getting married?”

“If that is what you want!”

“You’re the most beautiful man in the world, you know that?” She gripped his face even tighter than before. “And your mind...”

“No one’s ever called me beautiful…” His eyes widened behind his glasses.

“Because everyone’s stupid,” Mary declared. “Except you, and me. We were always meant to find each other.”

“That’s love?” William asked.

“I think so? Maybe?”

“I don’t have a very good definition of it, I’ll admit…”

“We can just make it up! Who cares! The world is ours!” She brought him even closer and kissed him, and he tried his best to return it, which ended up making it rather messy. But she didn’t care. It was their definition of a kiss.

He began to shake in her arms, and she leaned back, realizing he was coughing again. But it didn’t seem to stop this time, and just then she saw her father stand and make his way toward a podium. He was about to make his speech!

And I still haven’t gotten rid of William!

Oh. Right.

She still had to kill William. Even though he had just told her that her life was hers to choose and that they would get married. Even though he had rather violently just ripped her away from the trajectory of her life’s work.

It didn’t seem fair to kill him, now. Did she even want to ever kill someone again? She thought she liked her work.

Don’t I? She looked back at James, and their gazes met. He smiled at her, almost encouragingly so. He was counting on her.

I can’t do this to him. She sighed, slouching in defeat.

There was thrilling, freeing William...and then there was reassuring, steady James.

What had she even been talking about to William? Was she insane? She did have a constant in life— it was fucking James! Him and all of the Disciples!

I can’t leave! I have to kill him! She turned to look at William. This was her enemy. Their love— it was practically treason. No, she had to get rid of him before things progressed further.

But she realized she was terrified. Would she ever meet someone like this again?

She had to believe she would. She swallowed, standing up and nudging William to his feet.

“Come on...this is the worst part of the whole Celebration,” she said. “And you’re gonna die if you stay here, just look at yourself!”

“I- I am not—!” he barely managed through his wheezes. “Where’s Hanni? I need that- that inhaler!”

“We can go find him,” she said, taking his hand with her uninjured one and leading him through the room. “Deep breaths, William.” She cursed herself at that; if he had an asthma attack now, that would just make her job easier.

But it’s such a boring way to go. She looked back at his face, examining it under the lights.

She knew she didn’t like the way her heart jumped at seeing him like this.

“Over here, come on,” she said once they were out. She looked around for Bentinck, but of course, James’ plan had worked too well— he was nowhere in sight. “Alright, I’ll take you to my room. Wait there, and I’ll try to find Bentinck, okay?”

“You live here?”

“Um. Just a bit.”

William gave her an incredulous look before turning away to stop himself from coughing on her. His tail twitched fiercely as he did so.

Oh, dear. She just hoped Bentinck was already dead so she could take the inhaler from his body without anyone noticing.

🝰🝰🝰

Bentinck followed the tracks of light that only he could see glittering on the floor. Every Ally had their own aura, seen only by their own kind. Marly’s was a sparkling ruby, with a few flashes of gold here and there. It disappeared rather quickly, though, so Bentinck had to find him fast.

And he did. He found him in a small room decorated with jewels everywhere, the kind that were given to Allies as offerings. There was some kind of throne in the middle of the room, chains of gold resting at the bottom of it. But the most shining object of all was the Ally Marly himself sitting upon it. He was dressed in a way that left little to Bentinck’s imagination and had lifted his leg over the armrest rather precariously, showcasing the detailed tattoo on his thigh. In his hand he held a cigarette, and he lifted it to his lips when he saw Bentinck.

“Pay your respects,” he said.

“We’re both Allies,” Bentinck said. “I owe you none of those rituals. And tell your Disciple freaks to quit smoking when my master is around.”

“In this beautiful and noble city,” Marly said, “there is always some kind of toxicity in the air. He should go somewhere else if it so bothers him.”

“Are you asking to be strangled right now?” Bentinck said, stepping forward. “You know, I could kill you if I—”

A gunshot seemed almost to shatter the air around Bentinck, and he jerked his head forward with a snap of his jaw. The bullet he caught in his teeth seemed to rattle in his skull, and he shut his eyes, briefly dazed.

Ah.

“Pathetic.” He spat the bullet out on the ground and glared up at Marly, whose expression had not changed.

He shrugged. “It was worth a try. I didn’t want to go about this traditionally, though…” He sighed and brought his hand up to his eyes. “You are so exhausting to deal with.”

“Imagine how I feel.” Bentinck lifted his head and grinned with all his teeth, letting the light shine on his fangs. “But I did go see your newest movie last weekend. Toutetsu, was it? I just loved seeing you covered in blood for the thousandth time when you were murdered.”

“It seems they all do.”

“An actor should always strive to portray the perils of his character realistically,” Bentinck went on, starting to circle the throne. “Do you want to know what dying is like?”

“Not particularly.” Marly stood and put out his cigarette on the ashtray that lay on the other armrest. “I suppose it’ll be worth it, though, if you tear these clothes to shreds. I do hate how they look on me.”

“What?” Bentinck snorted. “I thought you liked dressing like a goddamn prostitute. Or is that just your way of soliciting your services?”

“Crazy bitch!” Marly lifted his gun again and began to shoot wildly at Bentinck, who just barely managed to catch the bullets in his fingers. One, however, found its way past him, and he felt the heavy, startling pain dig deep into his shoulder

He let out a hiss of pain and stumbled back, just as Marly jumped forward, lifting a spear made purely of his aura high above his head. Bentinck yelped, shifting to the side as another gunshot rang out. He bit the bullet from the air again and this time spat it right back with full force at Marly, who merely flicked it out of the way with a finger.

“This whole thing is so stupid,” he said, spinning the spear around in his hand. “I could think of ten different situations that would work to kill you that would work way better than this one.”

“Then why?” Bentinck leaned forward. “Why do you want to kill him now?”

“Him?” Marly’s eyes widened briefly. “Oh, of course. Him. Your handler. Well...” He laughed. “I don’t know. It’s sort of a game now, isn’t it? We do it whenever we please. I expect you to try to kill James next week.”

“I’m not having any fun,” Bentinck said. “This is a matter of humanity’s future and who inherits it.”

“Humanity’s future!” Marly spat out contemptuously. “Do you think you’ll be included in your master’s plans?” He slashed the spear across Bentinck’s chest, and Bentinck cried out, his legs buckling under him with the fiery pain it sent through all his body. He knew how Marly’s weapons worked by now— if they drew enough blood, they could paralyze him, much like the own effect his venom had. Already he could feel his movement slowing.

“Is that how you see it?” he asked, catching every swing of the spear in his hand. He knew what would happen soon; he knew how it always ended. “Allies command the world.”

But I can kill him this time! If I just hurry.

“You are hopeless!” Marly barked, shrinking the spear into a dagger and surging forward to shove it right through Bentinck’s shoulder. But Bentinck was faster; he dove to the side and pinned Marly to the wall, biting deep into his neck with his fangs.

Marly gasped, dropping the gun at his feet and the dagger flickering back into its state of nonexistence. Bentinck pulled back and smiled.

“Now. Relax.”

Marly slowly sank to the ground, reaching a hand out weakly towards the gun before Bentinck kicked it away. He leaned on the wall for support, but it seemed his head came down rather heavily as Bentinck heard a thump from it.

“Damned...Devil,” he said in an odd kind of slurred, but rushed manner. “You’re just being...used.”

“And what about you?”

“I know...why I make my choices...don’t you dare compare us.”

“Right back at you.” Bentinck took the gun from the floor and knelt down to hold it to Marly’s head. “Your best role got shot, didn’t he? Marly.”

“Don’t shoot.”

“I should,” Bentinck said calmly. “You’re at my mercy, you know that? I can say the words and you wouldn’t know if you’d ever wake up again.”

“Quit being smug...about it and kill me...if you will,” Marly hissed.

“Rest easy.”

Marly looked up at him with wide eyes, before those same eyes seemed to roll back and his whole body fell still. It was as if he had been shot through with euthanasia, but Bentinck could see his chest still rising and falling.

Finally. Bentinck pulled the trigger, except—

He didn’t move. He couldn’t move. His whole body had frozen in place. He couldn’t even shift his eyes from the position they had locked in.

Fuck. Fuck. He felt his heart begin to race. This was the worst position, and place, to be paralyzed in. If one of the Disciples walked in...he’d be incredibly easy to capture. Sure, it wore off in an hour, and maybe James would talk long enough, but he had to go back to protect William. And he didn’t know how long Marly would stay asleep for. His venom tended to be rather unpredictable in its potency.

“Hans William Bentinck.” A familiar voice sounded from the doorway, but there was nothing familiar in its coldness. His heart leaped to his throat.

He felt Mary walk up to him and kneel down beside him with a laugh. “You fell for it after all. Idiot. You two are so fucking easy.” She dug her fingers into his hair and pulled with all her might, bringing tears to Bentinck’s eyes. “You might be wondering why I haven’t stabbed you through your throat yet.”

She’s one of them.

“Unfortunately, it seems that William really cares about you,” she said. “So, I’ll let you live. But if you dare interfere with anything I try to do?” She leaned in to talk into his ear as she pried the gun from his fingers, leaving what looked like her own blood, dripping from her palm, stained on them. “I’ll hunt you down and you’ll live to regret it forever.”

Hunt me down all you like. No one will hurt William.

“I just need this for now, though,” she said, reaching into his pockets and pulling out William’s inhaler. “Thank you!” She patted his head and left the two Allies alone, examining the gun as if it were a curious new pet she had found.

🝰🝰🝰

“Feeling better?” Mary asked, patting William on the back. They sat on what looked like her bed in what she called her room. William rather didn’t like the implications of that, and frankly, couldn’t be bothered to untangle them now.

“Very,” he sighed. “Thank you. Is...Hanni back at the party?”

“I assume so,” Mary said. “I mean, that’s where he appeared to be going.”

“Ugh. Then I suppose we ought to go back...”

But he found he really didn’t want to. She was the best part of this whole, boring Celebration, her and the way she spoke to him as if they were truly equals in the grand scheme of the things, in the eyes of the universe. She had declared her love for him, when William had always believed that he was incapable of that kind of love— and yet, he had found it, in the span of five minutes! She truly was an angel.

Though it always seemed to take a while to fall in love in all the movies he watched, in the stories he heard. He wondered if he was doing it right, but then, Mary had said that they could make up their own definition of it, hadn’t she? Or had she been referring to something else?

It feels like ages ago...have I spent my whole life with her? Do I want to?

“I don’t want to go back, it’s boring,” Mary said, echoing his thoughts and leaning on his shoulder, which was sort of comical now that he noticed their full height difference. “You’re the most fun I’ve had in forever. I mean, I guess I’ve had fun, but...you’re less superficial, I guess.”

“Really? I don’t...get that often.” No one had ever called him fun. She just kept on surprising him, apparently the same way he did her.

He really hadn’t thought about any of this before. It didn’t seem like romance would have any important part to play in his great plans for the world.

“Well, you should,” she said. She stood abruptly and began to look through the drawers by her bed. Her whole room was rather a mess, and through his blurred vision he thought he saw letters scratched out on the wall across from him. But he couldn’t read them, especially with the darkness of his glasses, and his head seemed almost to pound at the attempts he made to do so. He leaned back and lay on the bed with a sigh.

“Do you have any water?” he asked.

“Just finished the last bottle in here, sorry,” she said. He looked up and realized she was holding a rather startling amount of small tablets in her hand, lifting them to her mouth and using the last of the water bottle she held in her other hand to swallow them.

“Should you...be taking that much?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah! It’s a prescription.”

“Oh...alright, then. What for?”

“You ask too many questions, William,” she teased, lying down beside him. “So. Have you ever dated someone?”

“Don’t ask me to remember anything now.” He rolled over, looking up at a faded poster on her wall of some feline character he couldn’t recognize. “I just want to be here with you.”

“You’re so sweet, you know,” she said as she tossed an arm over him. “To think we were at each other’s throats just a little while ago.”

“Were we?”

“Oh, you’re a comedian, too,” she laughed. She leaned over him and began to kiss all over his face, her lips meeting his features without fear.

“Um...” William leaned back, wincing against the kisses. He supposed they didn’t feel so bad, but there were rather a lot of them and they came far too quickly. “Just keep the- the sunglasses on.” “Why? It’s so dark in here.”

“It is NOT.” It was actually so dark that it was kind of making him dizzy, though he couldn’t tell if it was the wine or not.

“Fine, fine.” She sat up and pulled him towards her, letting him rest on her soft body. It reminded him a bit of how Bentinck used to hold him. “You’re so pointy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” William jerked his head up to glare at her.

“Oh, I don’t really have a reference for how pointy people are supposed to be,” she said. “So you might be normal. I’m not sure, but also, I don’t think you’re capable of being normal. Oh, dear, I’m leaving blood on you...” She started to pull her hand away, but he grabbed it and put it back on his shoulder. She laughed and left it as it was.

“Do you want to kiss again, William?”

Actually, he never wanted to kiss anyone ever again after this. It felt strange, especially when in the back of his mind he knew that he’d only just met this woman. But...it wasn’t so bad, he told himself, and she looked so beautiful and hopeful.

He nodded and sat up, letting her take him by the horns and kiss him. His tail twitched when he felt her tongue through his teeth, and he tried his best to return her movements. He had kissed before, but it’d been so long ago that he couldn’t remember what girls considered “good.”

Most of it wasn’t with a girl, though...

Oh, well. Kissing standards should be universal.

He felt her laugh against him, and then with her bloody hand she lifted one of his own to her face. And then to her neck. Right to her chest, where he felt her heartbeat.

By all the stars, how improper. He started pulling away, and Mary blinked down at him in confusion.

“What? You don’t want to do this?”

“Do what?” He already knew what she was going to say, but he hoped he was wrong.

“You don’t want to touch me, William?” she asked. “You’ve had sex, right?”

“Well, yes, but it’s...not something I do very often,” he said. “Why would I?”

“You’re so funny,” she giggled. “My father likes to say I’ve got bitches hanging off my arm at every moment. And I think you’ve just become one of them.”

“Surely I’m more important than that.”

“I’ll need to judge your performance to decide,” she said, lying back on the bed. “What good would my soulmate be if he can’t please me?”

Of course. William swallowed. He could do this, then. He wasn’t as inexperienced as he could have been. Oh, Hanni’s going to be awfully pleased when he hears about this.

This is fine. It’ll feel fine when we get it over with.

He looked up and saw that she was lifting her sweater (that was rather too big for her, William noticed) over her head. As she sat up to begin unbuttoning her blouse, he caught sight of an odd marking on her neck. All over her shoulders and chest, actually; he realized once it was fully off. He shifted forward to see them better.

Not markings. Tattoos much like the ones he had seen on captured Disciples. He could have dismissed it had it not been for the letter just a bit under her neck. An R.

“You are...you’re-”

“What?” She smiled as she lay back down again, William having to shuffle back to give her room.

“The...R of the Disciples,” he let out. “You said...you didn’t know what they were...”

“Does it change anything? Do you hate me now?” She tugged at his horn, bringing their faces close again, close enough so that William’s glasses nearly slipped from his nose. He adjusted them quickly, and it seemed to remind Mary that she was still wearing hers, for she slid them off and set them to the side.

“Who are you?” He felt her leg slipping over his back, as if to hold him down.

“James’ daughter. And I know you very well, William.” She began to pull his jacket down, her hands oddly shaking, but William clutched it frantically before remembering why she was doing it.

Fine...it’s fine. She’s fine. She hasn’t tried to kill me yet.

“You aren’t supposed to be doing this, then,” he breathed out. It still felt awkward to let her undress him; he was a grown man and he could do it himself, for the Allies’ sake!

“Neither are you,” she cooed, tapping his nose with a finger. It wasn’t just her hands shaking now; he felt her body shivering underneath him, as if she were cold. But she didn’t remark on it, and so he didn’t either. “Come on, William!”

“Fine...fine.” He couldn’t be bothered to think of all the reasons this was worse than wrong anymore. They were here now, weren’t they?

🝰🝰🝰

Bentinck only realized he could move again when he blinked, and he collapsed beside Marly with a relieved sigh. His legs ached from being stuck in that position, as well as his eyes, and he shut them as he lay there to think.

The Celebration would surely be over soon. And Mary was still there, with William...

“Siren!” he cursed her out loud. He opened his eyes and sat up, glaring down at Marly. He supposed he could just strangle him right here, but there was no fun, much less honor, in killing someone who couldn’t fight back.

He stood up and stretched. No, his target right now was Mary. He left Marly as he was and walked out to peek into the room where they had all been in previously. It seemed everyone had only gotten louder since he had left, but William and Mary surely weren’t part of the noise.

They’re not here. The table where they had been sitting was empty, and they weren’t hovering around other people, either.

He stepped back and looked behind him, towards the stairs. There was only one way Mary could have taken William from here, and it was up there. William wasn’t one to fall for girls easily, if at all. It would have been hard to get him to follow Mary, unless he had enough to drink.

You’d have to drag him kicking and screaming. He narrowed his eyes and began to go up the stairs. And if you did that, Mary, well...there’s a special fate I’m saving for you.

“Forgetting something?”

Monmouth! He grimaced and glared back at the dwaallicht spirit hanging off the ceiling. “No. And I’m not leaving.”

“So you say.” Monmouth grinned with all his teeth and called the ribbons back to his mouth, dropping himself onto the ground. “Well. Go on. Don’t fall.”

Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Bentinck knew very well what that meant, and there was nothing he could do about it. He turned around and began to walk up the stairs again, keeping his eyes on the floor. He didn’t have to go so slowly, just as long as he knew where he was stepping, as long as he got it over with and he got to William—

His foot slipped suddenly, catching on a loose nail on the stairs, and he let out a cry as he fell nearly on his face. He was briefly relieved when he stood up, as he was unharmed, until he saw the shadowy spirit smiling in front of him. It jumped at him, throwing him down the stairs and biting into his wounded shoulder.

“Ah—!” He rolled over, trying to pry Monmouth off of him. “Worthless spirit—! Get off of me, you nuisance, you submit to me!” He tossed his head back with a hiss of pain when Monmouth wrenched his own head to the side, and he felt his blood spurt into the pest’s mouth.

“I get to kill you now!” Monmouth exclaimed triumphantly, taking Bentinck’s head by his hair and slamming it back down onto a step. “Big, strong Ally Bentinck, bested by a little dog spirit!” His dark ribbons began pouring out of his mouth again as he laughed, as he dug his claws into Bentinck’s shoulder and elicited a sharp grunt from the Ally.

“You don’t get to kill me,” Bentinck snarled. “By the ancient order of the dwaallichten who created our Earth and the devils who ruled it, I command you to—” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Monmouth leaned in as if to kiss him, but instead let the ribbons falling from his mouth wrap around Bentinck’s head and mouth.

My fangs! He tossed his head forward, trying to bite through the ribbons and taste flesh. But Monmouth hopped up abruptly, pulling Bentinck with him to the ceiling. The ribbons wrapped around him, tying his arms behind his back and forcing his legs up to his chest.

“Ah, there we go,” Monmouth said, hanging expertly from his own strands. “I suppose even the worst of Allies look tamer when they’re restrained.”

Insolent dwaallicht! Bentinck tried to kick his feet out, pulling fiercely at the ribbons behind him. He knew he could slice through these; the powers of these minor devils were nothing compared to his. He just had to get his hands free in the first place...

“Right, well, I’ve had my fun,” Monmouth said. “But I respect you Allies; at least, more than my uncle does. So I’ll just leave you here, how about that?”

More waiting! Bentinck bit into the ribbons at his mouth again and again, glaring at Monmouth all the while. William needs me.

“You best hope Uncle James doesn’t find you here,” Monmouth said. “Now there’s a creature without mercy.” He morphed into a bat and waved a wing at him. “Good luck, Ally Bentinck!” He flew off, leaving Bentinck to hang there alone.

“These Disciples—!” he managed out through the gag of ribbons, biting viciously into it and spitting it back out. I’ll kill them all! He reached forward as far as he could and began to bite at the ribbons at his knees next. It would hurt when he landed on the ground, but he could only imagine what kinds of pain William must be going through at the moment.

🝰🝰🝰

“Oh, William!” Mary shakily held William’s head down by the horns, so their lips were nearly touching. “You are a fucking beast, you know that?” She reached out behind him and gripped his tail, smiling almost manically up at him.

“Ah- ah, well, aren’t we all?” he huffed out, shoving his glasses up his nose again. He seemed oddly adamant on keeping them on, but Mary wasn’t about to insist he take off something else. It had taken him enough time to take off her bra, and even more time for him to fully strip down. He had kept his shirt on, even, when they had first started a while ago.

“No, William,” she whispered. “I don’t have any horns like you, do I?” She bucked her hips up, returning his movements. “Say it!”

“Like an angel.” William leaned onto her shoulder, wheezing into her ear. “More divine than an Ally. Than any Overlifer. You shall inherit the world.”

“Yes, William!” She leaned back on the pillow and clenched her teeth, her vision shifting and swimming before her. Of course, there was ecstasy and then there was ecstasy. The kind that made her want to cry out to the skies; curse all those Allies, they could never bring her pleasure like this—

She felt him start to move away, but she brought him back down with his horns. “What are you doing? You’re not done yet, are you?”

“I- I- not in you- not again-”

“Who cares, William?”

“Are you trying to get knocked up?!” William suddenly looked frightened by the notion.

“Obviously!” She brought him down to kiss him again, and his chest heaved over hers as he came for...what time was this? She didn’t know. But she knew that he was enjoying himself, a final celebration before his inevitable death.

“Alright...alright,” he sighed, finally sitting up and stretching. “That’s...enough. By the stars, what a mess.” He rolled over, trying to catch his breath and covering his face. “Arghhh. Mary, if- if you get pregnant, I swear to the devils-”

“Aw, that’s no big deal,” she said. Another tremor overtook her, and she turned to bury her head in the pillow. If this kept up, she wouldn’t be able to kill anyone. “I mean- you said you need heirs, right? Why not get- get started early?”

“SO improper,” he grunted. “We’re not even married. Devils married first.”

“Not all of them,” she said. “Some just ravished some poor woman and then let her deal with the fierce little hybrid.”

“I couldn’t do that.” William glanced at her, then looked back towards the window. He had been doing that a lot, she noticed, as if he was somehow still embarrassed of looking at her. “Look, if it happens, just...come find me. I can give you my number, if you want. Right now, though...” He sat up, covering his mouth with his tail to stifle a cough. “I really have to get back to Bentinck.”

No! Mary took his hand, and he looked at her curiously.

“What?”

“Y-You can’t go yet!” she insisted, and she found she genuinely meant it. She didn’t want her father, or anyone else associated with the darkness of the Disciples, to lay eyes on William ever again. She knew they would, when she hung his body up for all to see, but for now, he was all hers, and still gorgeous and still alive.

“We’ll see each other again, okay? It’s fine,” he reassured her.

No, we WON’T. You are about to die. She couldn’t stare at him anymore, not like this.

“I just- I don’t-” She started searching in the drawer for her favorite knife, the serrated one decorated with reassurances from her father.

“Are you alright?” He reached out towards her, and she turned around, shoving him back onto the bed and digging the knife into his thigh.

He snapped his jaws shut, letting only a vicious, agonized growl escape through his teeth. He shuddered for a moment before speaking again. “Damned Disciple—!”

“You got that right.” She dug the knife in deeper before pulling it out again, and this time William cried out, his blood splashing out on her. She always did like killing someone after sleeping with them; no blood would get on her clothes. “I’m sorry, William.”

“Are you?” William panted out, trying awkwardly to cover himself before Mary tore the knife across his chest, forcing another cry out of him. “James...James, was it?”

“I can’t go against him,” she said. “If you had children, you’d know, William.”

“If I had children,” William sneered, “then I’d never want this for them. You’re a murderer, aren’t you? An assassin?”

I’d never want this for them. The words echoed in her head, and she paused, her grip shaking on the knife.

“I’m sure James loves seeing his daughter covered in blood, hm?” William’s tail twitched furiously. “Reprehensible.”

“Will you shut up?” She pinned him back down, forcing his head back and exposing his throat. “I like doing this, I’ll have you know.”

“I thought you...and I...could choose our paths.” He shook his head, as best as he could while she had a grasp on it. “Isn’t that why you want me?”

��It was a fine night, William,” she said. “I’m glad I met you.” She nudged his sunglasses off with her knife, and he gasped, stiffening underneath her. Her own mouth dropped open upon the sight of his eyes.

They were terrified, but also fierce, and in them she saw all her love for him reflected back at her, and she knew she couldn’t kill him. At least, not again, should the time ever come, because the markings that surrounded those valiant eyes told her that it wouldn’t be easy.

“You’re an Overlifer.”

“Tell anyone and I’ll cut your tongue out,” William spat. “Kill me, Mary. I’ll just come back again and I’ll kill you too.” His eyes were frantic, wild now, staring into her soul like he had promised her he could. “And you won’t come back. We’re not going to the same afterlife, you know that? I’ll live forever, and you’ll be dead, soulmates destined to never meet again—”

Mary shoved the knife into his throat, slicing it to the side and covering her eyes so the blood that spurted out wouldn’t land on them. He let out an awful, gurgling hiss, shaking violently under her until his brilliant eyes dulled.

She tossed the knife to the side. I did it. The great rival of the Disciples of Restoration was dead. James would be so happy with her.

But he’d just come back, like he said, and he would make her life a living hell. She knew that he would. So all this was for nothing, unless she waited for him to wake up five times and she’d kill him all over again.

Some part of her wanted to do that. But realistically, she knew it would take her a very long time, longer than she had promised James. And yet a deeper part of her wanted to keep this man who spoke so many lies to her that felt so true.

She lay beside him and held him close, the blood dripping from his wounds staining her body. But she reveled in it, wanting to feel every part of him, inside and out, upon her. She wanted to know everything about him before he inevitably hated her; before he died either at her own or some other Disciple’s hand.

She’d never been so attached to a target before! James had always warned her of it, and she had always felt a little embarrassed when she did rather like a target...but it was her job, and she knew what would happen if she didn’t do it.

I guess there was that one time, though...

Well, staring at the body would only sting more, she knew by experience. She looked down at herself, then back at her bed. There was blood everywhere. Not her best work, if she was being honest.

I’ve done worse. She began to get dressed again, then turned to do the same to William, which was a little awkward with how deceased-ly uncooperative he was.

Next she took him by the horn and examined his face. She was used to the dead stare of her victims by now, but she couldn’t look at William’s for longer than two seconds. Instead, she focused on the markings spiraling throughout his cheeks and eyes. James would see them and know immediately that William was an Overlifer...and then he’d ask Mary why she didn’t finish the job properly. The only thing worse than a long assassination was a failed one.

Her heart seemed to leap to her throat at the thought of another failure. She lifted her knife and used it to scratch patterns into William’s face, right through his eyes and down his cheeks. By the time she was done, the markings were impossible to see.

Okay. There. Safe. He won’t know that I knew. She sighed and laughed to herself. Was she really going to deceive her father now, after everything that he’d told her? After everything that he’d done for her?

Yes. Yes, for this Overlifer, it’s worth it.

Maybe she should stop killing people when she was on ecstasy; she always felt a little worse about it every time. She’d been on worse things before, though, and the jobs were messier. And she couldn’t stand to remember the disinterest she had looked at the bloody faces of her victims with.

“Alright, let’s go, William,” she said, pulling him off the bed by his tail. She peeked out of the room before beginning to drag him down the corridor, all the way up another flight of stairs and into her father’s room.

He had always liked receiving her work in his room, but she had no idea what he did with the bodies. She didn’t like to imagine it, and she didn’t like to imagine what he would do with William. But it was the greatest gift she could offer him right now, and perhaps seeing the body before it woke up again would make him less likely to yell at her.

She positioned William so he was sitting up against the wall, his head slumping to the side and dripping blood onto the floor already stained with the blood of countless victims; some of them still alive, she knew. Some of them still here, living with the Disciples. And it always made her want to look away, run away, if she never had to see those faces who smiled at her when once she had assisted in inflicting pain on them.

Doesn’t he care? She always asked herself that, about her father. She knew he was cold, she knew he was ruthless...but he could be so impossibly kind sometimes, there had to be some part in him that knew he was hurting people.

But so am I...damnit, William, you’ve ruined everything.

She stood and left his body there, eager to get away from it. It would be fine. Once William hated her, she’d have even more reason to want the whole world dead. It’d all go back to normal.

She walked back into her room, with only one intention on her mind, but there was already someone in there. She jolted, just as the Ally Bentinck looked up and saw her at the door.

Oh, and he was furious. Loose ribbons that she recognized as belonging to her cousin were tied around one of his wrists, as well as his legs. His shoulder also didn’t look very pretty, the blood glinting in the moonlight that shone into her room.

“Mary.” His already crazed eyes widened upon seeing her. “This is William’s?” He motioned to the bloody bed.

“Um.” What was the correct answer? He looked like he’d rip her to shreds if she said yes. “Well. Yeah. But,” she added hastily, “he’ll be fine, no? He’s an Overlifer.”

“You know.” Bentinck took one step forward. “No one was supposed to know that.”

“But I do. Suppose that means I have to die, right?”

“Correct.” He glanced to the side, then calmly picked up the knife she had killed William with. “No one kills him, not even just once.”

“Look, Ally,” she said, “I have a plan. He’ll make it out safely.”

“He’s dead, isn’t he? How safe can he be?”

“I won’t tell anyone he’s an Overlifer,” she said. “He’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and he can walk out, and no one will stop him. I’ll make sure of it.”

“The easier solution is to just kill you now and take him with me,” Bentinck said coolly. “Why would I leave him alone here with his enemies? Especially after you threatened me. Me, a devil of the highest order.”

“You don’t understand,” Mary said, frantic now. “Ally Bentinck, I need him to stay. I promised my father I would kill him tonight, and if you leave with him, I- I don’t know what I’ll do—!” Her shaking had gotten worse, and she clenched her teeth, trying to keep herself on her feet. “This is my most important mission yet. If I fail it, do you- do you realize what will happen to me?”

“I don’t care what happens to you.” The voice was too sharp, pounding in her ears.

“I- I beg you, my lord!” She fell to her knees before him, falling forward so her nose was nearly touching the ground. She knew she owed no respect to the Allies, but it was all she could think of. “Please- please, my father— I’m already deceiving him by telling you this, by keeping William alive! If I don’t turn up with a body at all, I will- he’s going to-”

“You are hardly in my good graces to be begging me for that kind of favor right now,” Bentinck said. “That’s my fucking boss. My friend. Maybe I should just kill you if you’re so afraid of what your father will do to you.”

“I don’t want to die,” she gasped. “Not- not now. Now that I know him.”

Bentinck blinked down at her, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“I- I love him, my lord.”

“Oh, is that what you told him?” Bentinck sneered. “You make me sick. He has enough trouble with that as it is, and here you are, twirling him around your finger like a vine. But it won’t work on me.”

“I’m telling the truth—!”

The Ally twisted the knife in his hands, looking down at it, then back at her. “You can’t fall in love in one evening. That’s not possible.”

“Is it not?” She lifted her head, only for him to bring his shoe back down on it to keep her down.

Insolent Allies. She’d make him pay for that, when the Disciples finally ruled the world. Or even sooner than that, as she had promised him.

“It is not. Don’t you know that? I know he doesn’t.” She heard him laugh bitterly. “Is that why it was so easy for you to take him?”

“I think it’s possible, my lord,” she said. “Do you know how one can die in less than a second, before you’ve even realized it? Do you realize how easy it is to have your life changed in a movement like a flick of a finger? Doesn’t the same apply to love?” She thought it was rather logical, if you asked her.

He was silent for a moment. “Maybe. In a sense.” He paused again. “But are you serious? Are you that terrified of your father? Do you really believe you love William? What could he have shown you that he hasn’t shown me, in all the years I’ve known him?”

“I don’t know how much he showed me of himself. But have you ever managed to get him into bed with you, with all the time you’ve supposedly known him?” She smiled to herself. That would hit a nerve.

He stepped back abruptly, clearing his throat. “I could, just as easily as you did. But that’s only if I wanted to. Which I don’t.” He sighed as she stood up again. “Do you promise it, then? Will he return safely?”

“Yes.” She bowed her head. “I promised my soul to him, see?” She lifted her hand, showing him the wound on it.

“Oh. Oh, by every remnant...” Bentinck appeared to swallow, then turned around, dropping the knife back on her bed. “You terrify me.”

“I’ve heard that one often.”

“Yes, you have.” He cleared his throat and smiled. “I’ll be back for him later, then. Please...make sure he’s alright.”

“I’ll do my best,” Mary swore.

“Good. And now I really need to get out of here.” He walked past her, muttering to himself, and she watched him go with a mixture of triumph and regret.

These Allies. She fell back on the bed, too exhausted to take anything else right now and too exhausted to care about the blood she rested on. There were a lot of ways to make herself forget of the pain she inflicted, but sleep was, even after everything, still her favorite.

🝰🝰🝰

James recognized the smell first before he entered the room. Beside him, Maria swallowed, gasping when he turned on the lights.

“This girl—!” She looked away, placing a hand on her head. “Oh, dear, I’m going to be sick...she’s always leaving a mess in here, James.”

“You know I have no problem with it.” He knelt down to lift William’s head by the chin, staring into the bloody eyes. They looked as if Mary had been attempting to gouge them out, but had stopped halfway through. Good, then; he had suffered either way.

“This is disgusting.”

“I think it’s quite beautiful, Maria. See how the blood runs down his face like tears.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” she said, covering her mouth with a hand. “It stinks.”

“I wasn’t asking,” he snapped, standing up to glower at her. “Excuse me, I need to go see her.” He stepped past Maria, making his way to his daughter’s room.

She was already asleep when he got there, apparently not minding the blood she was lying in. He sat beside her, running his fingers through her hair, and she seemed to lean into his touch.

“You did so well, Mary,” he whispered. “I’m so proud of you.” He laughed to himself when she saw that she was clutching her knife next to her. “Assassin even in your sleep, hm?” He gently pried it out of her fingers and opened her hand, only to see that there was a deep cut running through her palm.

He put up a bit of a fight, I see. He set the knife on the floor beside the bed and stood. No matter, the beast was dead now.

He lifted her hand to his mouth and licked the blood off, and she pulled it away with a soft whimper. She didn’t move again, so he could only assume it was instinctive.

“Sleep well, my angel.” He brushed her hair out of her face with his tail as he left.

🝰🝰🝰

“Mary! Oh, for the stars’ sake— MARY!”

She awoke with a start, blinking and looking around frantically. James! She hardly had time to check her appearance when James stormed in, and she knew immediately why. The memories of last night were blurred now, but she knew they were very real, considering the amount of blood she was covered in.

“He’s gone.” James looked wild, the specific appearance of a man who had been searching for something for a very long time and just could not find it. “William- his body-”

“What do you mean?” Mary asked, her voice shaking. She knew how to lie to him, it was no problem. “Did someone take it?”

“It’s gone.” He shook his head, pacing around her room and twitching his tail. “No one saw him. No one else has him.” She watched as he opened her closet, looking around in there before ducking under her bed. When he emerged again, a small trickle of blood had started from his nose. “Mary. You saw his eyes.”

Oh, no. Here it comes.

“Was he- was he Over-marked?” He leaned in, so close that she could feel the blood dripping from his nose falling onto her lap.

“I...I don’t know.” It was her best excuse, the one that would make him less mad at her. “I just took off his glasses and slashed through his face, I- I wasn’t looking.”

“What do you mean, you weren’t looking?” he spat. “He was right in front of you.”

“I’m sorry, sir, he was moving a lot-”

“It’s not that hard to see some fucking markings on a face as pale as his!” he yelled, grabbing her before she flinched away. “Now look at what you’ve done! If he truly is an Overlifer, if his fatass of an Ally didn’t come for him first— he’s not dead. Not anymore. And he’ll know what we tried to do. He’ll try to kill you!”

“I know, sir,” she said. “But I can handle it, you know-”

“Can you handle it, Mary?” He shoved her back, standing up and smacking her on the head with his tail. “You’re blind without those fucking glasses, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Here’s a tip for you, my dear,” he said. “Keep your victims and your bitches separate. Do you think I don’t know why you had to remove your glasses?”

“It’s not what you think-”

“Stop talking. Now.”

She bowed her head and nodded. This could have turned out way worse, she told herself. It’s fine.

“He’s gonna keep being your fucking target until he’s dead,” he said. “I don’t care how many times you have to kill him. But bring his truly lifeless body to me when you’re done.” With a lash of his tail, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

She stared at the blood he had left on her.

And began to wonder what kind of world she wanted to live in when all the devils had surrendered.

#at last it is out eeeee #story under the cut btw #heed the warnings!!#six lives won't make you happy #yes it is so Fucking Long and it will only get longer

6 notes · View notes

fly-like-egyptian-musk · 2 years

Text

Lost in the Eye of Zaun

Hey y'all, this the start of my Lounge Singer AU I've talked about maybe once or twice. I have the next three chapters written, but want to gauge how much of an interest this has. I will only post the 2nd chapter if people comment. This will be a song fic and isn't a happy story and there will be an abundance of trigger warnings. Please read at your own discretion. This first chapter doesn't have many warnings except the mention of drugs. Will be cross posted on Ao3. Main Parings will be: OC Female x Silco, OC Female x multi, OC Female x Viktor. Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovelace/profile

Summary: Revolution is coming and freedom is in every Zaunite's horizon- but at what cost? A singers first hand encounter of scraping out an existence with her young sister who has big plans for the future, but plans change when The Eye of Zaun set's his sights on capturing the Siren and de-rails everything she once knew. A story of sinners and saints, and the lies between them.

Chapter 1. There was a thick cloud of smoke inside the office already,

‘A bit early, how many cigars did he smoke so far??’ Sevika thought.

She shut the door, standing front and center. Silco, who was mostly stationary during meetings paced in front of the window, slowly as if mulling something over before addressing her.

“Shipments are good, the set back was..permanently dealt with. I think the crew got the message.”

“Good, let that be a sample of what happens when not following my orders. And what of the factories and their production progress?”

“On schedule. The lab technicians said potency is better, purer and becoming more each batch. No accidents thus far.”

“Hmm, that’s good news, very good news for once.”

The man finally turned to face her.

Silco hadn’t donned any of the fancy clothing he had tailored for him yet, as it was relatively early in the day but was still a bit strange to see him plainly dressed. His button up was tucked neatly, but the tie hadn’t been properly set and dangled around his neck. He hastily clipped his cufflinks, cigar teetering between chipped teeth.

When that was set he roughly fixed the tie, flattened it down and smoothed over a loose lock of hair as two billows of smoke left his nostrils.

“Now tell me the bad news.” He mumbled while cracking his neck, walking over with his eyes lifting to glance at Sevika as he snuffed his cigar in the doodled ashtray and started filtering through his paperwork.

“Last week down at Shimmermist Cove I’ve gathered that there’s quite a bit of dealings happening in the surrounding area. A few addicts have told me it’s cheaper than shimmer.” She lit her own thin cigar, taking a seat at the side couch.

“Apparently there’s going to be a show, a big one with some band the younger crowd likes and usually there’s a huge turnout. Which means, there’s bound to be dealings taking place..”

He had sat back into his chair, hands gripped the arms as he lounged paying attention if only for a moment, “Hmm most likely a band that can’t play very well..kids these days will pass off anything as music. And what of the baron? Have you seen him throughout these missions?” Silco grumbled out, eyebrows already high in annoyance at his own mentioning of the slumlord.

“Sparingly, but it’s a big night- he’ll probably want to make a flashy appearance.” she scoffed,

“Boss, the guy’s a joke, he looks like dog shit trying to pass as a man in a fancy suit and everyone knows it. I’m honestly surprised he’s gone this far.”

“He’s gotten this far because there’s a conspiracy that goes deeper- more people involved then we know of. And we’re going to weed them out. You know what you have to do- by any means necessary.” Silco added, grabbing a silver letter opener and slitting an envelope, his eyes stern and fixed on hers as it sliced cleanly and swiftly.

“Because by the end of next month, I’m shutting his whole operation down, taking him out for good and targeting the next. We’ll make an example out of him and all his imbecile lackeys.”

_______________________ The mid-summer heat made the sea spray blow across everyone, making all clothes damp and sticky with salt. Dilapidated stone walls lined the waters edge, dim lanterns lighting the ruddy path towards the cliffs slopes where a low bass line pulsated the very earth. This neighborhood was a secluded linkage of run down chem factories, abandoned when the spills polluted too much, un salvageable. But from others misfortune comes refuge, and with enough dedication and desperation anyone could flip the tides. Shimmer mist cove was a wet wasteland of polluted water by day and an eerily glistening haven for artists by night. Private enough to be exclusive and never overrun with yuppies, but popular enough where if you were an eccentric you’d be seen regularly inside. The zig zagging levy’s were slick until you came to a large, barnacle encrusted steel door where three beast-like men stood guard. The silent brooding group approached them, with a semi-mechanically built woman leading the way.

Sevika hated the art crowd, hated all the smug personalities that thought they were the next best thing to happen in Zaun but had nothing to show for it. But the boss wanted her to scout here every week, gather intel and report. She got some pussy out of it sometimes when a kinky woman wanted to play at one of these shows, so naturally she endured, you know..for the sake of business and all that.

Coming up to the door she was flanked by another brawler-type guard of Silco’s while they got a stare down by the bouncers. He was as big as the man behind her but armed with a mean looking home-brewed rail gun.

"Hmmmf, no fighting this time or I’ll shoot your ass, got it?" He towered over her menacingly.

Sevika sneered and curtly nodded, flipping the cover charge to the thin shifty looking man beside him with a lockbox and armed with a series of what looked like explosives. They weren’t playing around tonight. Duly noted, this might become a stealthier op by the end of the night if their target caught on.

Entering the building for only the third time, she now began to see why Silco was so interested in this place, its position to the shore could be crucial for covert operations, easily accessible by boat and its size could hold a hefty amount of reserves. Not to mention, the crowd of young enterprising individuals who were always aching for the next new high packed this club regularly. They could make a ton of profit here, and continue to do so in an organized timely manner if it wasn’t for the incompetent baron who decided for himself that he was the sole benefactor of the place. Silco was aware, and had been for a long time..he was just biding his time gathering all the evidence he needed to destroy him and take over what was rightfully his. That being said, with Silco’s newfound position, he needed to be careful and strategic of his power plays lest he leaves an opening for usurpation. Sevika would make sure that would not happen, not after everything she also lost for this cause.

Crossing the threshold, the noise radiated through her body in a wall of sound.

The air was a misty green as they stepped inside. Meandering to a sparsely occupied booth, she bashed her fist onto the table and knocked the couples drinks clear off the surface to spook and claim the area as their own. Posting up, they relaxed as they scoured the club from their pivotal standpoint.

Many Zaunites of various cloth and background had their own individual style and swagger. Along the floor of the factory was the gutter of bioluminescent liquid, chem spill that seeped into the surrounding bay and lit the room with a spectral glow that in some angles looked prismatic. Residual chems that had mutated the plankton and algae is what made the very namesake of the warehouse.

Sevika ordered the goons to stay posted at the table while she went to the bar, wading through the swarms of bodies chasing their intoxication and getting riled up for the show about to start. The bar was separated by a low corroded metal grate and its stools lined the counter. Two beefy sailors worked quickly behind it, filling orders and handling coins. She climbed onto the stool next to an old Yordle dressed in a swath of navy blue and black, shiny mismatched buttons closed the petite blazer around him, and a monocle of layered multicolored lenses stacked over one eye. He met Sevika’s eyes and instead of shrinking in fear, the old Yordle winked and turned slightly toward her very interested. Sevika shifted her gaze, suddenly uncomfortable in her seat. Behind the bar was lined with dusty, foggy bottles of liquor, Sevika raised her arm harshly to grab attention, the bartender briskly walked over.

“Got any fire draught?” She spilled a few coins onto the counter, but the bartender sucked his remaining teeth in a disappointed way.

“Kegs empty till next shipment, what else can I get you?”

The Yordle leaned over and threw down a few more coins and interrupted,

“Get her two shots of Flamespitt, and a water chaser.”

“Water? At a bar? You kidding me, gramps?” Sevika cackled, looking back and forth between the two. With the amount of coins laid before them she could afford a bottle of shwag stuff at least.

The bartender grinned and went towards the shiny tap in the middle of the wall, pouring a glass of crystal clear water, and scraping the droplets left behind as it turned off. The water was cool enough to frost the glass after filling.

He rested it in front of Sevika, took another shot glass and filled it with the smokey amber fluid then crossed his arms, awaiting her judgment.

“Trust me, this is worth its weight in gold and more delicious than anything you’ve tasted in your young life..” the Yordle assured, raising his own glass to a toast with hers. She couldn’t argue, the glass was the clearest, coldest water she’d ever seen..let’s just see if it was worth the money. Sevika raised it to her eye, looking for any magical tampering and finding nothing but clarity. Taking the shot glass to him she knocked it down, and then the other in a fiery swallow to finally grab the ice cold glass and gulp. The dryness in her throat became coated with pure hydration, fresh and clean as it trickled down. She checked the glass again, too shocked at its purity.

“How the fuck is this…real?” She’s not seen anything this clear come from any pipe in Zaun.

“That’s the secret! No one knows..except maybe the owners. It’s a miracle, truly!” The Yordle exclaimed, tiny feet kicking slightly in his seat. “Name’s Laserian, pleasure to be acquainted with you. Cheers!” He turned toward the stage and sipped his drink, craning his tiny head around.

Sevika drank more, eyes fluttering closed as the refreshing arctic chill shuddered through her in the stuffy heat of the club. She held it in her mouth and savored it like it was an aged delicacy, and he was right..it was worth it.

The lights switched to a purple shade as the steam from the gutter billowed green below. Many shifted towards the front of the room, grabbing their spots before the closest ones were snagged. Sevika tapped the counter and laid a few more coins down, motioning for a bottle instead. As she grabbed it she scanned the crowd, looking for any familiar faces; some were just regulars at the drop, drunks that plagued the bar every weekend, others were clad in dark clothing and blending too well into the sea of bodies.

“Ah- the show will start soon...you don’t want to miss it! The lady of the hour is delectable..” he winked again, and that’s when Sevika knew she wouldn’t linger next to him anymore. Making her way back to the booth came harder than it needed to be, as she swatted with her metal arm and pushed a few uncoordinated patrons out of her way, some falling into the gutter and sputtering a few curses as they peeled their chem soaked bodies up from the floor.

Reaching the two goons, she laid out a few glasses and poured out drinks, leaning into the table between them.

“Eyes open for Glub and his minions, don’t get distracted- stay aware. Any shimmer dealing take note, especially from them.” She commanded, shooting back the low tier brandy and grimacing at the taste. The goons grunted, and downed their shots back. A low droning began across the speakers, morbid and unsettling yet sparked anticipation in its frequency across the club. Sevika stood at the edge of the booth, taking point by leaning heavily against it to rest their body and keeping her eyes low across the crowd. She knew he’d mess up sooner or later in public.

#arcane au #arcane fanfiction #Silco x oc #sex work fanfiction #song fic #arcane

9 notes · View notes

clubwnderland · 4 months

Note

[ 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒕 ] — My muse loses your muse at the mall while shopping for presents. 🔄 For Dangmi

— @doom-bc

The benefit of the God not really a celebrator of the holidays means the hybrid could use him as her sounding board as she shops for her loved ones.

Also, having someone to go shopping with is always better than going alone.

Jangmi excitedly skips alongside Doom, who easily parts the crowds due to his height and size. People stare at him as they walk through the mall but she doesn't think too much of it considering they always stare at her with her fluffy white tail and ears flickering on her head. "Oh!" She stops, grabbing Doom's hand and keeping him from walking, "look."

Across from them, a few stores down another corridor is a shop filled with plushies. She had planned to buy Channie a couple of squishmallows, help start an addiction Jongin will have to keep up.

"Do you not have enough of the giant animal pillows?" Doom says as he's practically dragged by the hybrid. Dragged may be a loose term considering if he didn't want to go - he could easily stop her.

Laughing softly, she looks up at him with a wide smile, "no," she says with a giggle, "but these aren't for me." Walking into the store, Jangmi's eyes widen in delight before she rushes over to large piles of plushies and almost dives into the bins to grab one. "A dragon!" She rushes back to Doom, making him hold it while she finds another.

"Dragons don't look like this." He says but the hybrid is too much on a mission to even pay attention.

She's off. She's running around. She's... gone?

It's not Doom's fault. The store was a lot bigger than Jangmi thought. There was a staircase that lead to another part of the store that held different stationary items, another floor up contained books and games. She had stumbled across her dream store and in her excitement, she had left Doom standing near the counter with a dragon squishmallow.

"Jangmi, hybrid?" The God calls out but she doesn't hear him as she's walking around the store, a floor above him, with a basket she had found and piling in a bunch of different stationary items she thought would be great for everyone.

"What do you-" She pauses, turning around to ask Doom a question before she realises... he's not there. "Oh... oh no!"

She places the basket down before rushing away, hoping that Doom hadn't left the store but she didn't even think that he would be looking for her too. Meeting the tall God on the staircase, Jangmi blushed when he gives her a look that shows his displeasure in being left alone.

"Stay close," he says, repeating her own words back to him, taking her hand which would effectively keep her near him.

Walking back towards her basket, Jangmi nods with her face turning red, "yes," she mumbles, "need to stay close."

#ask: jangmi #from: doom (🦊)#[ask game]

1 note · View note

foxgloveinspace · 9 months

Text

Ranting about Bujo/Journaling things, and being a stationary addict and contemplating what I want to use:

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about journaling, and how I journal, and how I want to journal, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I do like having an a5 size journal, it’s just that I can’t find one that lasts me the perfect timeframe, which is three months, I can find ones that last me two, I can find ones that last me five or six, but I can’t find one that lasts me three months. And then I decide that having left over paper in the back of my journal is not a big deal, so I’m just going with my favorite journal, the a5 leuchtturm1917 (which lasts about 4-5 and sometimes three depending on what exactly I’m journaling about how fast I am journaling). So I think that will be good.

But now I’m debating if I want to continue bujo into next year. I have been using a bujo for the last year and a half (different ones of course) and I’ve been testing what works for me, and shuffling my system around different notebooks, and I have finally found one that works pretty well for me, which is a field notes notebook. It lasts me two months perfectly, which means I’d only need two packs of them for next year, and I love using them, and the thought of having a little rubber banded stack of them at the end of the year sounds so nice!!

But. I am sort of in love with the idea of a Hobonichi Cousin A5 for next year. Just the idea of having this planning space and a page for the day to record little things, like a playlist for the day, or if I was reading something, or even if it’s just nothing and then I go back and log a bujo style collection on the page. It’s so appealing to me and my adhd creature brain, that loves journaling and keeping things, like shiny rocks.

But do I need all that space?? I’m gonna be in an a5 journal for at least awhile, and I’ll have all the space in there for things like that really…..

But also I don’t hate the idea of copying multiple lists and info over again into a different journal, and the idea of having a space that has the things I selected from over the year in it also sounds really appealing…..

BUT!! Then I don’t get the rubber band stack of field notes….

I think I’m leaning toward the Hobonichi right now, mostly cause I also want to be able to use my fountains pens in it, and field notes don’t take the ink well, it bleeds and feathers badly all the time, and I just use it cause I don’t want to carry two pens constantly.

Ugh. I am……. Conflicted.

#very much so #journaling #journal ranting #technically this could be a #techo kaigi #but I don’t think that’s a thing on tumblr is it #I’m having this dilemma in August cause the Hobonichi do a September release/pre-order #so. I need to decide if I want this or not #being able to spread out like this tho would be so nice #and not having to draw my spreads all the time would be so good too

2 notes · View notes

artistsfuneral · 2 years

Note

You called, m'lord? OMG these look goooooood! I definitely need more pictures! Nikki, please! Pretty please!!! /stationary anon 📜

Ohohohohoho you will like these ones 👀✨

It's actually 20 new things in total 😂 I went a little wild, since it's been a while

1. Two set of various washi tapes, one black and white themed, the other one has a blue summertime/vacation theme 🌼✨

2. Stiiiiiickerrrrssss!!!! There's actually a lot more 😅 I bought three or four different sets of cottagecore/green/farmlife stickers, and then some other pretty ones, like the blue social media stickers down below - I absolutely love them!!!

3. (Sticky) Notes!!! Do you see the ones on the right? They are gorgeous ommmggg!!! Each of them has an absolutely beautiful design that also fits that summer holiday theme, I'm in love! 🤸🏼🤸🏼🤸🏼

Honestly so happy with what I got, I can't wait to use them 🤩🤩 but now I need to figure out how to sort all of these 😂😅

#rambles #ask answered #artistsfuneral about journaling #my stationary addiction is taking over

7 notes · View notes

cyberpawn-arc · 1 year

Note

❝ you’re out of lives . game over . ❞ // vaas

Heroes and Enemies Starters

Vale has played this game before. They know the rules, know the cheat codes, know the glitches in the system. For some, bugs were more like features than anything, but Vale, the walking, talking glitch? They knew every minute they spent in Vaas' world just tear the code apart even more. Every second they spent alive, the world was making room for two dead souls that should've been long gone. The world wasn't large enough to accompany Vale and Johnny into the ecosystem of Night City again, and their appearance meant certain doom for a certain spurned beneficiary. It only made sense that they'd run into Vaas as they tried to hide from his whole gang.

Vaas was in debt, and that financial trap would leave anyone hunting for the idiot who cost them all that cash. Alive or Dead.

Vale was alive. They were fully dead, yet alive. The Relic was broken. Fully worthless, yet priceless. Shattered neural ports with jammed datachips, they're a pot calling the kettle black on Vaas' erratic behavior. After all, V wasn't perfect, wasn't stationary, they were dynamic and erratic too. New chronic pains in their body and mind, new habits and addictions taking root from the extended poisonous olive branches the Relic and Johnny offered.

"I thought I was outta lives a long time ago. I got another one, so who's to say I don't have another life up my sleeve?" The hooded figure of Vale Entropy stood stagnant in the endless maze of alleys in Night City. Green eyes are dark under that night sky bathed in bright neon.

"I keep tellin' you. This Relic is worthless! We all got played here! Nobody is gonna want this thing now. I can pay back in other ways than blood, Vaas! This shit isn't worth killin' me over!"

#badtrigger

1 note · View note

jmwriters · 2 years

Text

Sharing an “Aha!” Moment…

It was 10:35 am this morning and I had just finished a half-hour conference call I’m on every morning with other businesswomen from around the country. It’s a combination coaching, accountability and prayer call. I love it!

But I’ve been feeling frustrated lately – even though I’ve been doing all the right things as far as “filling my pipeline” (making new sales contacts) and reviewing my goals each morning and night; following other “success tenants” – because I’m still not seeing results.

There’s a “Slight Edge” Principle that says if you do just a few things consistently – every single day – that effort will compound over time and produce results.

But there’s a period of “doing the do” that you have to put in before you start to see the measured results come back to you. That’s where I’m at – in the middle of the new course of action.

My mentor and Elder, Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor, reminds us, it usually takes 90 days to show results…and A LOT of people quit before they reach that point of return.

So, when I got off the call, even though I love the energy and the camaraderie and the coaching, I was feeling restless. I’ve been feeling restless for a while now.

I began pacing rapidly back and forth between my kitchen and living room – which in a one-bedroom apartment is NOT a very large space!

I often pace. I pace to think. I pace to pace. I pace to calm down. I pace to ramp up. It helps me expend energy. I pace.

I started talking aloud (as I often talk to myself).

“Restless,” I kept repeating aloud,” restless in mind…restless in body…restless in spirit… restless in soul…”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the manual treadmill standing in the middle of my dining-living room. “Well,” I thought, “if I’m going to do this furious pacing thing I might as well turn it into exercise and get on my treadmill!”

So, I put on a lecture by Dr. Joe Dispenza, the author of “Evolve Your Brain – The Science of Changing Your Mind” and his, at that time, newest release, “Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One.”

At first, I had it on my computer speakers, but I couldn’t really hear it over the noise of the manual treadmill belt. So, I donned my mp3 player and earplugs and mounted my treadmill for a workout – physical and mental.

I started hearing little snippets of wisdom in-between my conscious readings from the display in front of me…watching and mentally logging numbers of “how far, how many calories, how fast,” etc.

I went for a quarter mile and it felt really good – especially considering I am still dealing with a tear of the medial meniscus from a work-related injury that’s all tied up in Workman’s Comp hearings! (Part of my sense of frustration).

I look a lot like Frankenstein when I walk – still – but part of my restlessness comes from knowing that I’ve been stuck too long in “injury mode.” I realized that I need to get on with healing my leg. I followed my “walk” with some modified lifting of weights (arms) and stationary punches (I’ve REALLY missed my Tae-bo Gold Routine!).

All the while I was listening to Dr. Joe’s lecture – one that I have been listening to repeatedly lately. When I finished my physical exercise, I felt really good. “Exercise” had been on my days’ list of accomplishments that I had written out the night before. It felt good to have that already done.

Then I sat down and started to write. He was talking about addictions and personality – about how 95% of who we are is acquired from the influences of others, which I know from previous studies with Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor.

Then I got really excited when Dr. Joe started talking about habits – and the definition of a habit as “when the body is the mind.”

When we feel stuck – we have to look at “what have we memorized?” What feelings and experiences have we cemented in – even though we may say we want to change? If we’re not changing it’s because we’ve hard-wired past body-mind programs which then become habits.

If we memorize (hard-wire) an emotional reaction and stay there for a few days – it becomes a “mood.” If we prolong it further it becomes our “temperament.” Over a prolonged period of time that temperament – “living by the same emotional reaction” over and over again turns into a personality trait – which means we’re totally living in the PAST!

THAT was my “AHA!” MOMENT!

Recovery Programs refer to a person’s “defects of character.” I’ve always maintained that I am NOT defective. I am a child of God and God doesn’t make junk!

BUT then I made the connection to what Dr. Joe is talking about…and realized that the “defect” is the faulty emotional reaction that has been hard-wired in our brain based on a past experience that we haven’t been able to free ourselves from. Why?

All emotions produce chemicals in our bodies and in the brain. We can become addicted to those chemicals in the same way we can become addicted to alcohol or other drugs, food, or gambling, or sex, or any destructive behavior.

We try to change but we hit a wall because, as Dr. Joe describes it, “I can’t go beyond this emotion because the chemicals are so addictive.”

We can’t go beyond the emotion because someone or something knocks us so far out of balance as to prevent us from being able to make our way back.

That’s living in the past. What is it that we have to do in order to live happy and free?

CLEAR AWAY THE WRECKAGE OF THE PAST!

I have had the privilege of working with recovering alcoholics for over 40 years. One of the greatest pitfalls I have seen is the seeming inability to let go of the guilt and shame of their past. Recovering alcoholic/addicts are told to remember their last drunk/usage – so that they don’t return to using. But that means the individual is keeping that experience alive by constantly repeating it. Thus, staying mired in that past that they are trying to resolve and move forward from!

Besides, there is scientific evidence that “memory” is not so much a function of recall, as it is a function of the mind filling in a story, in order to accommodate the emotions, we’ve memorized.

So, to keep “re-living” a past occurrence in order to avoid that same mistake in the future is a basic fallacy, because the brain is making up a “greater than” trauma with each recollection.

That begins to trap us, and we find ourselves living in a past that didn’t actually happen (at least to the severity that we tend to remember it.)

We don’t have to DWELL in the past to learn from it. In fact, we can’t afford to.

Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor teaches us that we only have THIS MOMENT. She reminds us that “Energy follows thought” If we’re focused on the past, we’re living in the past.

In order to liberate ourselves, we MUST Let It GO.

This is true for ALL of us – because our habits are hard-wired memorized emotional reactions from past experiences that no longer serve us except that we’ve become addicted to the chemicals produced by them. (And then we wonder why we keep repeating the same behavior over and over again, even though we set goals and swear off, or swear on – determined to change, yet we don’t).

Dr. Joe asks, “What emotion have you memorized – that you’re living by day after day – that you think is you? That’s not who you are…that emotion is just a record of your past experience.”

So, what are “defects of character?” Memorized emotions that we think are us.

But they aren’t us – they aren’t who we are – they are what we are holding onto.

So, whatever “dark secret” we may be carrying around with us, whatever horrible atrocity we think we’ve committed, Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor reminds us that we are loved!

I like to say we are not bad people trying to get better – we are good people who have gotten off course.

If anything can be called “defective” – it’s our memory of past events – of what we are holding onto – and that can be changed.

It’s a choice.

Every Day is a New Life

One of the greatest examples of intelligent and courageous living I’ve learned in my association with Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor, simply stated, is she greets each new day as a new life. Really.

That means not carrying forward any judgement, any drama…a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g…from the previous day’s interaction with an individual. Ever try that? It’s no small feat!

I don’t know that I’ve honestly been able to accomplish that yet. I try – but it takes a lot of practice to just wipe the slate clean from the day before and give a person the clear opportunity to be a different, better person.

Some might judge that as being weak, but I have witnessed time and time again, a power that has come with that practice that I am in awe of and am continually amazed.

Some time ago I found myself in a situation of coming into contact daily with an individual who had determined that I am some kind of “mortal enemy” that has to be destroyed! Let me tell you, looking into those eyes wasn’t easy!

But to do so having released all thoughts, judgement, and conclusions from the day before, coming into contact with her with no carryover? I was at the “watch my back” phase of development for quite some time. But, as I constantly had to remind myself, I can always strive to practice “A New Day, A New Life.”

After all, it’s in the intention of creating a new behavior, forming new neural nets, or “re-wiring” as they say in Brain Science these days, that the seeds of achieving that change exist.

By being consciously aware of the desire to change, I am one step closer to breaking those old patterns and forming new ones. “Creating new neuron networks.”

Until I was able to achieve that separation from a sense of injury, distrust, etc., I would smile, look her in the eye, and strive to remember that she is a child of God, as am I.

-DJA

Originally published on JMWriters Blog. Republished with permission.

#Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor #Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha #addiction #addiction recovery #brain science #behavior and cognition #behavioral science #habits #personality #personal development #Elderswisdom #spiritual mentor #change

1 note · View note

otakusheep15 · 2 years

Note

hi!! i know requests are open but if i misread/they're not, then pls feel free to ignore :> a matchup for twst please? thank you in advance!!

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: bisexual

positive trait/s: i am very understanding, to the point where i let people just do what they want (in a good way, that is) but i don't let them walk all over me and take advantage of me. i'm not a judgemental person, so people come to me sometimes when they just need someone to listen to their rants even if it sounds embarrassing ('cuz i wont judge them at all for whatever it is). i think i am a kind person to people, just as long as they don't betray or take advantage of me (basically, i'm the “treat others the way you want to be treated” kind of person).

negative trait/s: i procrastinate alot (but i still get stuff done, i'm actually an honors student). i am a people-pleaser and do not like confrontation. i think i'm prideful to an extent, where i put up this fake-confidence so people don't make fun of me. i'm very sensitive to criticism, which means i think about negative things said about me too much. i also overthink, like for example, when i talk to people, i wonder if my tone is friendly enough or if my hand gestures aren't annoying. i'm just trying to be confident but in the inside, i'm actually quite fragile and scared of what people think of me, which is why i try so hard to “fit in” with people.

hobbies: journaling, collecting stationary supplies (washi tapes, memo pads, all the cute ones like that i just cant help but buy them), napping (i take at least two naps a day,, its a problem), shopping for clothes and improving my wardrobe aesthetic. also cosplaying. i like cosplaying <3

favorite color: black and red

this ask may look familiar, that's because i already submitted a request a long time ago but for obey me!! i hope that's fine with you if i do it again, if not, just ignore this!! thank you so much again for taking the time to do my request! <3

I match you with Trey!

You and Trey share a lot of positive traits, and I think that's something he'd like in a partner. Both of you are very understanding, which would be very helpful in any kind of relationship. However, neither of you are one to let others walk all over you, and that's something Trey would admire a lot. He would also appreciate that you're super non-judgemental and open to hearing others' problems. Since Trey is considered the "mom friend" a lot, he's constantly having younger students come to him with problems and worries, so it'd be nice to have someone else around to help him out.

With your negative traits, I think you're quite similar to Riddle, which works out well since Trey knows how to handle these types of traits already. He's great at helping with procrastination, and would offer to help you out with nay work you're struggling with. He may not be a top student or anything, but he's still pretty smart. Trey would also most definitely see through your prideful exterior, and he would try his best to help you be more confident in your true self. Of course, he'd never push past any boundaries you might have, but he'd still be willing to help if you wanted. He's also super great at giving out criticism without sounding mean, so you might feel better about getting some from him. Overall, he's also pretty non-judgemental, and he'd be there for you whenever you may be struggling.

As for your hobbies, I could see him enjoying them a lot. He'd be totally down for helping you with your stationery collection, and he'd always try and find some for you when he goes out. You also cannot convince me he does not have a journal of some kind, because he totally does. he may not write in it often, but he does have one. If you wanted, Trey could also help you with your napping addiction, or he could just join you if you prefer that. He may not be the most fashionable person out there, but he'd be happy to go shopping with you if you asked him to, and he'd give you any clothing advice you want from him. Same thing goes for cosplay. Trey might not have the most experience, but he'd totally supportive.

Rules for matchups

#matchups #twisted wonderland #trey clover

1 note · View note

papergirllife · 2 years

Text

Jeong Jaehyun

Lovers to Exes to Friends to Lovers (once again)

Jaehyun still remembers the first time you had approached him, it was his sophomore year in high school, Jaehyun thought nothing of you back then, just a girl who enjoyed her own company, okay maybe he thought you were a bit weird, but only because you had two friends? Which is why he never expected you to make the first move, and after that? He fell headfirst into the rabbit hole when the two of you started dating, young love, and to Jaehyun, it was the most addicting form of love he’s ever experienced. But young love isn’t meant to last, and the reason for this relationship to fall apart? The demons you call parents, you had left Korea entirely to Connecticut after your aunt heard about your situation, what happens when you decide to come back to Korea for your senior year of university?

warnings : slow burn, depictions of mental breakdowns, discussion of mental health, minor angst, tooth rotting fluff, smut, face riding, boob play, sub space.

A/N : In celebration of Jaehyun day (it’s one day late I know) and since Dear M isn’t coming out anytime soon, I decided to write my own with a new twist to it, hope you guys love it! I took specific scenes from the drama’s trailer, if anyone was wondering :)

Global studies, a quick break from the ever blaring bright screen of his laptop, it was a given, being a computer engineering student, but Jaehyun is more than glad to be in his minor classes now, he isn't stressed about this subject at all, he was always fond of studying and being up to date on what's happening around the world, very ‘dad-like’ of him, Jaehyun stops his fiddling with his pen, the stationary idle in his lithe fingers.

He remembers the first time he’s heard this, a very vivid memory that other people might find surprising.

It was when he was 16, the year where students get to relax after taking the government examination the year before. Jaehyun was training for his upcoming basketball match, he was the star player of the school, popular for his good looks, high marks, and his remarkable aim on the court.

While he was taking a rest from running laps around the court, quickly reading through the morning news on the paper laid out in front of him, that’s when you came in, looking around before spotting a vacant ball, shooting hoops, Jaehyun didn't mind, it's not like he was using it in the first place, but it seems like a basketball couldn't keep you entertained until the end of lunch hour, because you walked over to him, observing silently.

“Aren't you a little young to be reading the papers?” you joked, which caught Jaehyun’s attention, his focus on whatever article he was reading disappeared.

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun was confused, usually girls are saying this to shoot their shot, he always acts dumb, it’s better that way.

“I don't know, usually guys who read the papers are dads, you're an old soul, aren’t you? At first I thought you were doing it to keep up with your 'future president student body’ image, but no one’s here other than this loner, so you're just very ‘dad-like’ then,” you point to yourself before ending with a conclusion to Jaehyun’s personality, a first, no one’s ever described him in such a... plain manner before.

It was true, Jaehyun was most probably going to end up being president, his clean reputation and friendliness towards students has everyone garnering their votes for him, even though he couldn't possibly be president until his senior year.

“I just like knowing what's going on, just curious about things,” Jaehyun said, almost defensively, he didn't know if you were seeing him in a bad light or good, he does have a few people voicing their dislike towards him.

“Interesting, how about we play a match of hoops, golden boy? Loser has to buy the other ice cream,” you offered, getting to your feet from your cross legged position.

“You want to challenge someone on the school team to a competition?” Jaehyun asked, you were confusing him, unpredictable, why would you ever want to do this?

“Why not? And it's just a friendly match, not everything in life is a competition, Jeong,” you said before passing him the ball, the star player catches it in both his hands before it slams to his chest, you were a lot stronger than you look.

There were many reasons as to why he should decline the offer, the biggest being that he could make himself an enemy in your eyes, but he couldn't help but say yes when he watched how you slightly bounced on your heels, not one bit of competitiveness in your eyes.

The match was exciting, playing with someone quick and smaller was a switch up for Jaehyun, you were by no means bad at basketball, there was only a difference of three points between the two of you.

“You could've made it to the school team, why didn't you try out?” Jaehyun asks before he takes a swig of his water bottle.

“Your female counterparts aren't as friendly as they make out to be, golden boy, I rather be alone than be scrutinised for my every move,” you said as you wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand.

Jaehyun didn't know how to reply, he’s never talked to them much, but they seem to like him enough to not get mad when he uses the court past time.

“I'll see you around, Jeong, tell me when you want to claim your prize” you said before taking your leave, not knowing that you’d change his life forever.

Jaehyun snaps himself out of the old memory when Johnny places his bag next to him, clapping his shoulder in greeting.

“Thank god Mr Lee’s late, coach wanted to let me know about today’s practice,” Johnny said as he slumped down in his seat, sighing at the comfort of lying down on his own arms.

“I'm sure Mr Lee wouldn't mind if you told him coach went looking for you,” Jaehyun said, his fingers resume fiddling the pen.

“Easy for you to say, you actually get all his work done,” Johnny groaned before he sees the professor walk in with a student they haven't seen before, elbow jabbing lightly at Jaehyun’s arm.

“There's a new girl,” Johnny said before Jaehyun’s eyes glance upwards to catch a glimpse of said girl, but he couldn't see much of her, her hair falling onto her face as she takes some books from the professor.

Jaehyun and Johnny waits, finally you were done talking to Mr Lee, your face finally facing the students, Jaehyun’s breath hitches as you broke into a smile after spotting a familiar face, making your way to none other than Jaehyun.

“It's been so long, do you remember me?” you asked, still not believing your eyes that Jaehyun is in front of you.

“Yeah, it's great to see you, when did you come back?” Jaehyun asked as he gets up from his seat, signaling Johnny to scoot over, his friend doing as he says, interest peaking.

How could Jaehyun forget you when you were just on his mind a few minutes ago?

“I decided to continue my last year here, feels good to be back, what are you majoring in Jae?” you asked.

“Computer engineering, what about you?” Jaehyun asked, he still remembers at the back of his head that you wanted to be a writer back then.

“Fashion journalism, just thought it’d be more interesting than literature itself,” you explained, just in case if he remembers, but you think not, it's been years after all.

“Cool,” Jaehyun replied, not knowing what to say.

“Are you going to introduce me to your old friend or not Jae?” Johnny asks from beside Jaehyun.

Jaehyun gives the brief introductions, explaining how they had met in the team, a form of understanding on your face when he mentioned basketball.

“So how did the two of you meet?” Johnny asked, he's never seen his friend this nervous before.

“Jaehyun and I go way back, we had a short lived puppy romance before I moved away to Connecticut,” you explained before Mr Lee clears his throat to begin the class.

Johnny side eyes Jaehyun, he's in for a lot of explaining.

“Dude, how could you leave out this kind of crucial information about your life? She's even hotter than your ex back in freshman year,” Johnny said, plopping himself onto Jaehyun’s bed after getting back from the showers at the school gym.

“It's been a long time, like she said, puppy love, nothing more, nothing less,” Jaehyun said, low key annoyed that Johnny is hogging his bed only because he wants to know every single detail about his old relationship.

“Doesn't sound like it to me, you talk about all your other exes with a normal voice, this isn’t a normal reaction, Jae, still missing your first love?” Johnny teased, not knowing that he struck a chord.

“Man I’m really tired, you should go and take a nap too,” Jaehyun pulls Johnny up from his bed before shoving him out of his door, the taller of the two whining about whatever ‘sacred bro code' he breached.

Jaehyun takes Johnny's place on his bed, a hand coming up to cover his eyes as he sighs, what's the point if he misses you or not, he probably doesn’t have a place in your head anymore, he wonders what’s next to his name in your head, or was it already fading away if it wasn't for meeting him again? All these years of wondering how you’re doing and suddenly you're back in his life once more.

The stars aligned and now Jaehyun has your new number saved into his phone, what are the odds?

Jaehyun’s doing the right thing, but why does he feel like this will be his greatest regret in life? Helping you run away right before graduation exams is probably the worst thing a student could do, but it didn’t matter to you, you’d be starting a whole new life in Connecticut, without him.

He should’ve seen it coming, the way you were helping him revise his studies as he trained for the team, he wanted to opt out of the school team all together, until you volunteered that is. Day by day after school, he’d be shooting hoops while you quizzed him and acted like his personalised audio book, he didn’t bat an eye at it at that time, the two of you shared similar subjects, but now that he’s standing right outside the departure gates at Incheon airport, he understands why.

“Do you really have to go?” he asked, a hand holding yours tightly, yours were clammy from your anxiety of boarding a plane all alone for a long flight to oceans away, but he didn’t mind one bit, he just wants you next to him, but he also wants you to be safe and happy.

“You know I have to, there’s no way I’ll remain sane in that household, I really want to stay for you, Jae, but they’re killing me, if I’m lucky, it’s just their words, but you know how my father gets when he’s agitated,” you said, your heart half into it, they’re going to be your past anyways, focusing on memorising Jaehyun’s face, the way his eyes hold yearning for you, yearning for you to stay, oh how much you want to flip those downturned lips of his back into a smile, you miss the indent of his dimples.

“I’m going to miss you...so much,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you into a tight embrace, a freshly turned 18 year old boy facing his very first heartbreak.

“I’m going to miss you too, Jae, focus on your SATs okay? Forget about me,” you said, the comfort of your warm tiny hands patting his broad shoulders, a stark contrast to the chill that ran down his spine when he heard your words.

“What? What do you mean forget you?” Jaehyun asked, pulling away to see your excuse of a smile, the one that you use whenever you lied about being fine, the one that’s actually filled with all the sadness in the world, in Jaehyun’s world.

“I can’t afford to be your distraction, Jae, it’s for the best, I’m not the person for you, we’re still so young, you’re going to meet someone’s who smarter, prettier, so much more than I’ll ever be, someone who isn’t broken,” you said, choking up.

“No! I won’t! What are you talking about? You’re all I’ll ever need, I told you that, and you’re not broken, you just need healing, please don’t leave us like this, give me a little more time, give us a chance, please,” Jaehyun said, he wants to prove to you that he’d be able to find a balance between you and studies.

“The time difference would be much more difficult than you think, Jae,” you said before taking one look at your watch, the same one Jaehyun had gifted you just two months into the relationship, “I have to go now, thank you for everything and giving us a chance, Jaehyun ah, don’t miss me too much,” you said before tugging your hand out of his.

Jaehyun watches you with a crestfallen face, like a sad puppy as he watches you walk into the gates, walking out of his life.

Jaehyun wakes with a jolt, he lays back into the warmth of his bed, questions running through his mind.

Did you only see him as a distraction back then? Did you ever miss him like he did to you? He desperately wants to know where you head and heart is, even today.

A cup of iced americano appears in front of his desk when Jaehyun was still blurry from the dream-filled sleep he had, the usually enthusiastic to learn student was very much not into it before he was startled by the weight of the cup before he sees you, smiling down at him.

“Morning,” you said before slinging the heavy weight of your backpack down your chair, reminding the days when Jaehyun volunteered to carry your bag as well as his on his shoulders as the two of you walked home from school, an ice pop in each your hands, the sweet split into two to share.

“How did you know about my coffee order?” Jaehyun asked, confused, he remembered he didn’t have a cup of coffee yesterday.

“I asked Johnny, he gave me his number,” you explained before you spot the 6 foot tall man trudging into class loudly with a tinier guy beside him, a hand slung over his shoulder, breaking into a giant smile when he spots the two of you.

“This coffee means we have to be best of friends from now on, okay?” you asked, a hand lightly punching Jaehyun’s shoulder, the firm muscles your fist felt was quite shocking at first, the Jaehyun you know now is very much different from the Jaehyun back then, how much has he really changed on the inside, you don’t know.

“Yeah, sure,” this would need some getting used to, maybe you’ve moved on, maybe Jaehyun’s just stuck in the past, it was just a mere puppy love right?

The two of you were partnered up for a project along with another student, Oh Sehun who was fresh out of military service, at first Jaehyun didn’t mind, he didn’t personally know the guy, until he started being a little more than charming towards you.

Jaehyun had to remind himself that the two of you were just friends, he didn’t have any right to voice his opinions on who you wish to see or meet. Your group of trio had a discussion in the library, things were going smoothly to Jaehyun, but he had to excuse himself when he got a call from Johnny that practice was starting soon.

“Hey, I have to go for basketball, you send me all the details, okay?” Jaehyun asked you as he packed up his things, shooting you the same apologetic smile he used to give you back in high school, god the nostalgia is killing Jaehyun.

“Yeah, sure, be safe,” you said, unknowingly, the same words you’d utter back then, Jaehyun could feel his heart being yanked back right into the pool of your eyes when you said it, for a brief moment, Jaehyun holds your stare. suddenly the two of you weren’t in Seoul university, but back in the dingy classroom, Jaehyun in his jersey and you in his jacket because your space next to him was always under an AC vent.

Jaehyun quickly snaps out of it, nodding nervously before he leaves you with Oh Sehun, and if he was being honest himself, reluctantly.

His teammates could tell something was terribly wrong with their usually smiley player today, playing as hard as if he was competing in the championships, every one of them shoots a questionable look to Johnny, the person who’d most probably understand Jaehyun the most, being roommates for so long now, Johnny only shrugs, he’s Jaehyun’s roommate. not therapist, and he’s the most closed off person among all his teammates, figuring out Jaehyun would take a freaking mastermind.

Jaehyun sees your story during a break, a photo of a cup of hot coco, the machine ones that cost nothing more than 2000 won, the caption was thank you, tagging two people, one was none other than Oh Sehun, and the other one that he recognised from one of his classes, Cha Eun Woo, what was he doing with the two of you, Sehun was your group member, not whoever this guy is.

When Johnny saw the sudden appearance of a scowl, he knew he had to do something about his moody buddy, walking over to the bench where his friend was at, he notes the unknown instagram profile on his friend’s phone, ever the snoop Johnny is.

“What’s up, dude, what’s gotten into you? The guys are getting scared by you, who you checking out? Didn’t know you were into dudes,” Johnny joked.

“Nothing, just checking on her,” Jaehyun said dismissively before turning off his phone.

“Uh huh, I didn’t know checking up meant stalking every single guy that she comes across with,” Johnny said before taking a swig of water while looking over at Jaehyun expectantly.

Jaehyun rolls his eyes at what his friend meant before getting back on the court, cracking his neck to loosen his shoulders, his muscles evident.

“She’s really missing out if she isn’t running back to Jaehyun when he looks like this,” Johnny muttered to himself before laughing at his friend and his very much bull-like actions, destroying Mark who was trying to dribble to the hoop, nothing can get in the way of Jeong Jaehyun, not when he’s as headstrong as his lunar zodiac.

There was an event at the hall today and it’s compulsory for all the seniors to attend. When you sat down beside Jaehyun, you were moving about in your seat excitedly, Jaehyun’s only known you again for 2 months, but he could read you like an open book.

“What’s up with you today? I thought Joy’s solo album already came out long ago,” Jaehyun joked, knowing you had loved Red Velvet since their debut.

“I mean, listening to it does make me happy, but I’m more excited about my new crush,” you said.

“New crush?” Jaehyun asked, did he hear you wrongly?

“Maybe he’ll be my first real love,” you joked, pointing at the guy two rows down, dressed like a rich ceo’s son, watch glinting under the white lights of the low ceiling.

Jaehyun only nodded, you, had a crush, ‘my first real love’, what does that mean to you? What you and Jaehyun shared wasn’t real love? He remembers you describing it as puppy love, but it’s still real love right there, how is he supposed to feel about this even? Other than the blatant frustration of course.

Jaehyun was silent for most of the day you had spent with him, mostly just listening to what you had to say and sticking by your side as you ran errands, he went back to his room that day with grey clouds in his head.

Over the course of the whole project, Sehun and you decided to conduct most of them online to adjust to Jaehyun’s training, not needing him to rush to the library to discuss and instead he could take a shower and sit down comfortably at his desk. Jaehyun was grateful of course, not so much towards Sehun, since you were the one who had proposed this arrangement.

To Jaehyun’s surprise, the three of you made quite a good team, finishing the project two weeks earlier than the due date, which brings the topic of celebration from none other than Sehun, to an old restaurant which, back when Jaehyun was a high school senior, had promised to take you for your first drink after the two of you turn of age, but of course, that day never came, he didn’t realise how near this old restaurant was to his current university.

Jaehyun walks in with you in tow, holding the door open for you to be greeted with the familiar scent of barbeque, the scent of marinated pork belly brining him back to the days where the two of you would have dinner here to celebrate the end of exams.

The two of you catch Sehun waving you two over, he had already ordered and had began cooking some meat to kill time, he puts some on your plate once you sat down.

“This place is fuller than I thought, I came in like 15 minutes ago, and luckily someone left,” Sehun said.

“Thanks for coming in early, Sehun ah, or we would’ve been waiting in line in the cold,” you said before taking a bite of the meat, humming at the rich marinated taste meeting your taste buds.

All this while, Jaehyun watches intently to your reactions, is he your crush? You were never this friendly back then, only having a handful of friends including Jaehyun, when did you ever like socialising? You had only approached him because... It probably isn’t what Jaehyun think it is, Jaehyun downs a shot of soju, and the next person who comes through the doors is going to be the reason for shot number two, and now he realises, he actually knew this guy he just didn’t bother digging deeper into his brain when he was in class with him, he’s from his last basketball championship in high school, the person who matched his skills, the star player of Busan high school, Cha Eun Woo, less cool than what he portrays himself on his socials, how could he slip Jaehyun’s mind like that?

“You don’t mind me inviting my friend to out dinner right, Jaehyun? He just transferred here and didn’t have many friends,” Sehun explained to him, which made Jaehyun come to the realisation that you had known all along.

“Yeah, I’m fine with it,” Jaehyun might have set his sights on the wrong person entirely.

Eun Woo immediately recognised Jaehyun, unfortunately, he thought he was lucky he didn’t recognise him in class, but that was probably because Jaehyun sat at the way back, Eun Woo greeted him like they were old friends, well, they did talk a bit back then, but that was years ago, is he here to join the basketball team?

“The two of you know each other?” Sehun asked, shocked that his introvert friend actually knows someone.

“Yeah, I played against Jaehyun back when we were in high school,” Eun Woo supplied.

“Long time no see, man, are you still playing?” Eun Woo asked, but not before shooting you a quick smile, oh how much Jaehyun wants to knock his perfect teeth out.

“Yeah, but our team’s full,” Jaehyun said through gritted teeth, regretting seconds after, he doesn’t want to make it that obvious.

“I wish, but I’m going to keep that as a hobby, I’m here to attend my last year because my father’s job moved branches, so now my whole family’s in Seoul,” Eun Woo explained, you nodded with more focus than Jaehyun’s ever seen throughout the years he’s shared classes with you.

“How are you liking Seoul?” you asked, filling up his glass with soju.

“Oh, you didn’t have to, I’m a lightweight,” Eun Woo said before earning a ‘just let loose a bit’ from you, Eun Woo laughs with a shake of his head before continuing, “Seoul is less different from Busan than I had thought, but it’s a bit more populated here compared to Busan, but it’s nice to have a change of scenery, and meeting new people,” Eun Woo said with a gentle smile and a tilt of his head towards you.

Jaehyun’s eyes locate yours, only to see you sharing a similar smile, is this the crush you were talking about? Jaehyun observes Eun Woo, locating the familiar watch on his left wrist he had seen the other day in the study hall, so the quick coffee date was when this whole crush started to form.

All of you other than Jaehyun were actively chatting, the three of them dismissing Jaehyun’s silence as fatigue from basketball practice. Jaehyun nursed his bottle of soju, halfway through the night he ordered a second and third bottle, you were having fun as well, drinking with the boys, you were probably on your one and a half now, laughing at Sehun’s jokes along with Eun Woo, you realise he has a nice laugh, his eyes turning into half crescents, a light blush underneath his whiskers as he smiles.

After another quarter bottle in for Eun Woo, his body calls it a night, slumping on the table on Sehun’s outstretched arm.

“Okay, I’ll take him home first, you guys don’t be too late, okay?” Sehun said before getting up, shrugging Eun Woo onto his shoulder as he calls a cab.

“Do you need any help?” you asked, preparing to get up, but Sehun shakes his head, saying that he’s done this plenty of times.

That leaves you with Jaehyun, you look over at his side, seeing a semi dazed look in his eyes, he was sitting across you, giving you the chance to really observe him, Jaehyun has a flush too, the pink stretching to the tip of his ears as if he was some pretty fairy tale character, the dimples that appeared once he caught your gaze was damn near ethereal.

“How drunk are you?” he asked, his smile stretching wider, dimples etched deeper.

“Not really, just buzzed, high school parties used to be really wild,” you replied, your head a bit lighter than usual, maybe the alcohol just hasn’t kicked in.

“You drank before turning 19?” Jaehyun asked, surprised about the info.

“Yeah, had a fake id when I was there,” you said with a quirk of your eyebrows, “Didn’t you drink before hitting 19?” you asked.

Jaehyun shakes his head no, still in disbelief at thought of you attending parties, you must’ve felt much better after going to the states if you were as sociable as you said.

“No wonder your parents love you. You’re such a nice boy, Jeong Jaehyun,” you said before reaching over to pat his head, what you didn’t expect was Jaehyun placing his hand over yours, the familiar yet foreign feeling shocking you.

Jaehyun looks up, his eyes locked onto yours as his hand refuses to let go.

“Jae...

Jaehyun snaps out of the trance you had over him, detaching his hand from yours before he sits up straight, your hand falling from the higher angle.

“I’ll call Johnny to come get us, there’s only one more table other than us,” Jaehyun said before he dials his roommate’s number.

“No, it’s fine, I could take a taxi-

“It’s late and Korea isn’t as safe as it’s used to be, let me take you home at least,” Jaehyun said before he sees his giant friend coming through the tiny door.

“Hey, guys, had fun?” Johnny asked as he takes a look at the two of you, trying to figure out how sober you guys were, Jaehyun looks buzzed, but still in his right mind, since he’s standing up on his two feet quickly, you were a bit more tipsy, nearly stumbling if it wasn’t for Jaehyun catching your arm, stabalising you, yup, the alcohol is definitely kicking in now.

To Johnny, it looked like the blind leading the blind.

“Careful,” Jaehyun said before he leads you out of the shop to the car parked nearby, waiting for Johnny to unlock it before he guides you onto the seat, his hand perched on the opening of the door to prevent your clumsy head from banging onto it.

Johnny watches silently from the rear view mirror, watching Jaehyun strap you in carefully, he’s never seen Jaehyun take care of a girl this... dutifully, yeah he got his ex back home safely, but never this observant, this must be what first love feels like, you could find yourself in your first relationship, but it might not always be your first love.

Johnny takes you back to your place, but to all of your surprise, you had forgotten to take your key card out with you.

“Come, you can take the bed and I’ll take the couch or something,” Jaehyun said, guiding you back into the car.

“I’m sorry for burdening you, Jaehyunnie,” you slurred as Jaehyun lets you rest against his shoulder, noting how your eyes were threatening to close, maybe it’s a good thing you forgotten your pass, you probably wouldn’t have made it to your bed at this state.

“Is she out cold?” Johnny asked as he pulled up to the familiar ramp to their apartment’s parking lot.

“Almost,” Jaehyun said after observing your face, pushing back a few stray hairs behind your ear, lightly booping your nose, smiling faintly when he sees you scrunching it.

In your tipsy state, you register some things that Jaehyun does for you, letting him wash your face and asking you to change in his bathroom, closing the door behind him, you struggled a bit with your slowed senses, but Jaehyun’s never once rushed you.

Jaehyun could feel his heart leap when he sees you come out in his sweats, the way you were drowning in his clothes, he would’ve cooed at you if he wasn’t holding back.

Jaehyun stands up from his seat on his bed, allowing you to sleep on it.

“If you need anything, just wake me up, okay?” Jaehyun said before he heard you call his name softly.

“Your bed is a queen, we can just share it, it’s too cold to sleep in the living room without a heavy blanket,” you said, scooting over to give some space to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun slowly climbs into his own bed, nervously, he’s thought about sleeping next to you many times back in high school, Jaehyun’s always been a hugger back then, and he had always dreamt about cuddling you to sleep, he just didn’t know it’d take him so many years to get to this day, but without the label and the relationship.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” you said before facing your back against his, the soft material of his pillow comforting you, and undeniably, the scent of baby powder you used to always pick up from Jaehyun’s neck whenever he hugs you goodbye all those years ago.

Jaehyun feels the comforting weight of someone on top of him, your warmth enveloping him, he could smell the sweet scent of your shampoo, roses, in that comforting moment he slowly lulls back to sleep before he felt the movement of silky skin leaving his.

Jaehyun rubs the sleep out of his eyes, his whole body moving on automatic, only realising that this isn’t just any other sort of morning when he sees a new toothbrush next to his, his basin wet, right, you slept over, he strain his ears as he brushes his teeth, hearing movement in the kitchen, the ringing of pots and pans.

When Jaehyun was finished with washing up, he walks out of his room to see you, your hair pulled into a messy bun, you’re still in his clothes, lightly humming to a familiar song, one of his favourites from cigarettes after sex. Jaehyun’s envisioned this, morning afters, not really the sex part, okay maybe a bit of the sex part, Jaehyun was a hormonal teenager, forgive him, but this scene, 18 year old Jaehyun was desperately waiting for it, and finally, it isn’t his imagination anymore, you’re really there, in his kitchen, in his clothes, cooking breakfast for what looks like you and him, 2 eggs on each plate as bacon sizzles on the pan.

“Morning,” Jaehyun greeted as he reached for the fridge to take out a carton of apple juice, pouring a glass for both of you.

“Thought I’d cook something up for you as an apology, for hogging half your bed,” you said before turning off the stove, sliding the strips down on the plates.

“I’m surprised you didn’t burn the whole apartment down,” Jaehyun teased, recalling how your cooking skills only consisted of making ramyeon.

“Hey! I picked up some skills over there,” you retorted, bringing over the plates to where Jaehyun was sitting at the island.

“Some?”

“Okay, maybe a handful,” you confessed before you hear Jaehyun’s ‘dad laugh’, his chest shaking from joy, nothing’s really changed about him, “you still laugh like you’re in your 40s,” you teased back.

“Very funny, I actually have a few people on my team trying to learn my laugh,” Jaehyun told you with a proud look on his face, eyes staring at you expectantly, awaiting your reaction.

“No way.”

“Way...

“Smells good in here, any for me?” Johnny asked with a full on bed head, mouth stretched into a yawn as he scans for an extra plate.

“Sorry, Johnny, there isn’t anymore food in the fridge,” you said, head gesturing at the empty egg cartons by their door, waiting to be taken down to recycle.

“Damn it, I forgot to stock up on groceries this week, no worries, I’ll just call delivery, more sleep for me,” Johnny said before retreating back into his room.

“I’ll fetch you back after we finish eating,” Jaehyun said before hopping off the stool to borrow Johnny’s car keys.

“Yo, your ex invited us to the main hall to look at the art students’ presentation,” Johnny said after he saw your text in the group chat that you had created for this trio, he rarely has any female friends outside of family, but you’re chill, maybe not all girls are like his ex’s group.

“When was she into art?” Jaehyun mumbled more to himself.

“Beats me, so you coming or not?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jaehyun said as he slung his hair towel over his shoulder, having just came out from the shower after practice.

Jaehyun sees you standing next to the person that clouds his worries, Cha Eun Woo, talking animatedly at the piece in front of you two. Johnny, the ever energetic giant, swiftly walks up to the two of you a hand slung on each of your shoulders before you look back to smile brightly at Johnny, then your eyes zone in on Jaehyun who was trailing behind.

Your smile falters, Jaehyun looks good with his semi wet hair, his face looking fresh, you beckon him over, “Come see this, Jae, Eun Woo takes art as a minor, isn’t that crazy? Top in his business class and still he has time for art,” you said, singing praises for Eun Woo.

“This is yours?” Jaehyun asks, surprised at the new information.

“It’s just something I’m messing around as a hobby,” Eun Woo dismisses with a chuckle.

Jaehyun nods, thinking back at the times you’d used to doodled whenever you refuse to focus in class.

“Looks great, man, congrats,” Jaehyun said before he sees something catch your eye, he’d never forget how your eyes light up like sparks in a firework.

“Look, that piece looks interesting,” you said before your hand pulls onto Eun Woo’s elbow, dragging him around like you used to with Jaehyun.

Johnny could see the way Jaehyun’s eyes fall at the sight, he reluctantly follows behind the two of you, Johnny feels bad for him, he doesn’t get why he’s so hung up about you, were you that big of an impact in Jaehyun’s life that until this day you still have a place in his heart? Jaehyun never once talked about you, maybe you were much more than just a highschool sweetheart.

The next time Jaehyun saw you together with Eun Woo was when all of you were exclusively invited to a freshman, Chenle’s party, right at the heart of Gangnam, an exclusive penthouse kudos to his doting parents, you were Eun Woo’s plus one, Jaehyun was sulking in the corner while Johnny lingers, debating whether or not to be his friend’s emotional support bystander or pursue that pretty girl that gave him a wink when he had strolled in with his excuse of a captain of the basketball team, Johnny sighs, looking over at Jaehyun staring daggers at a guy that who had obviously, done nothing wrong to him, well, not anything that he knows at least.

“You know, the Jeong Jaehyun I used to know wouldn’t stand by and do nothing while the girl of his dreams is slowly swimming into the jaws of a new shark in town,” Johnny says distastefully before downing his glass of whiskey he had found from Chenle’s private stash, “I’ll get you back on your feet once I go catch up with that pretty girl,” Johnny gets up, leaving a very confused Jaehyun sitting there, immediately a girl takes up Johnny’s place, only to have her being turned down instantly, her perfume was way too pungent for Jaehyun’s taste anyways.

Before Jaehyun could focus back on what his friend was trying to say, he finds the giant missing, checking behind the fridge door, only to find his teammate Lucas, stuffing his face with the Godiva ice cream he found, smiling sheepishly, offering the tube to Jaehyun who had obviously turned down, he swore he heard Johnny said something about you, where is he?

That’s when he sees him, beside Eun Woo, teaching him how to do a soju bomb with the glass beer that he wasn’t holding before, if only Johnny was as quick as getting his hands on a drink as locating the ball on court. Johnny, the law major, is quick to utilise his negotiation skills on the poor guy, he swears he saw Johnny mix a bit of vodka when everyone was laughing at a classic joke he had dissed out, Eun Woo immediately felt his head several grams lighter, leaning onto you for support.

Jaehyun unconsciously frowns, his feet taking him to your direction, his jealousy guiding him like a puppet on strings. Johnny feels his friend’s presence, just as he planned, he offers to take Eun Woo to the nearest bathroom to freshen up, and on the way out, he ‘accidentally’ spills beer on your skirt, not a big puddle, but strategically spilled at an area where it can’t be brushed off as just a minor spill.

Jaehyun steps in, taking off his cardigan to wrap it around your waist, covering the spot.

“Let’s get it cleaned,” Jaehyun said, a hand on your back, slowly guiding you upstairs where the party was restricted from, but Jaehyun personally knows Chenle, nodding his head at the boy who was hanging out with another freshman girl, his screen as bright as your mom’s phone screen displaying the game pubg, the girl beside him struggling to stay alive he presumes, from the curses thrown out at Chenle, those two were an odd duo.

“I’m fine with cleaning it on my own, Jae,” you argued mindlessly, pulling back his cardigan to see how bad the damage is.

“You had a bit to drink, and these rich people stairs are quite dangerous,” Jaehyun notes on how the reflective panes of the steps would be confusing to many of the drunk party goers, it’s why Chenle said upstairs were off limits, this isn’t his first rodeo, Jaehyun recalls how Chenle said Renjun almost tripped and fell because he thought there were an extra steps.

Jaehyun tells you the story to cheer you up, trying to feel less guilty about how he’s indirectly at fault for Johnny’s ‘clumsiness’. You let Jaehyun busy himself in the bathroom as you took a seat next to the floor to ceiling glass, overlooking the busy streets of Seoul.

Jaehyun sits down next to you, cross legged, just like you, despite you were wearing a skirt, you were never the type to be ‘lady like’. you hated that term, you never liked how people have a stereotype on genders, and that’s what Jaehyun loves about you, you never waver to other peoples’ opinions.

“What are you thinking about?” Jaehyun asks, helping you clean the dirty spot, and you let him, just like old times where you’d accidentally stain strawberry juice on your uniform skirt, he’d be the one carrying wet wipes like he was a father of a newborn, hence the ‘dad jokes’.

“Thinking about how beautiful it is here, addictive even, I wouldn’t mind being cooped up in a house like this,’ you joked, looking over at Jaehyun, eyes glazing onto how the artificial lights paints his skin, shimmering, even up close his skin is as smooth as rice cakes, his eyes that are usually sharp on the court are now soft, pupils that reflect your lost face snaps you back awake.

“Nothing’s wrong with being a homebody if you have a home like this,” Jaehyun says mindlessly, thinking your expression was just due to the fact that you were astonished by the sight, breaking his line of sight to resume cleaning the stain on your skirt.

You were going to joke along the lines of how you need to win a lottery first, but the accidental brush of his wrist on your upper thighs has you stunned, the electric shock running up your spine, it felt like it had momentarily frozen your whole nervous system, you regain your senses, scooting away from him.

“Being an introvert and a homebody are two different things, giving a beautiful home like this to an introvert would be like falling into a rabbit hole,” you mused, you didn’t know what came over you to say this, maybe it was the alcohol finally running its course in your bloodstream, and to add oil into the fire, you had to look at him straight into his eyes, you hope he’s drunk enough to not know you were hinting at another topic entirely.

But Jaehyun reads between the lines, your lines, tattooed to the back of his mind ever since you came into his life years ago.

“Not all rabbit holes are bad,” Jaehyun said, catching up on your words and thoughts.

“You know you’ve fallen into a rabbit hole when you feel this sweet bubbling tingles in your stomach, butterflies, but butterflies, most of the time, are just a warning from your gut that something’s not meant for you, even if you so want it so badly that you’d risk everything to fall into this rabbit hole, you’d just end up in dead on the other end,” you said, body unconsciously leaning back towards Jaehyun’s presence.

“Rabbit holes are like...falling in love, you won’t always be falling for a person, falling may feel dangerous, there will be risks, and most likely ups and downs in the process before you reach the being in love stage, this stage is like the wonderland of love, Alice reached where she was supposed to go in the very end of the rabbit hole, all of us have to go through this in order to reach our very own wonderlands,” Jaehyun’s had his fair share of soothing your worried heart throughout your time together in high school, but this weighed his heart more so than all the other times, he knows you were hurt, he knows you’re doubtful towards love after what your parents put you through, and selfishly enough, he wants to keep being that person that dries your tears, he doesn’t want anyone else hurting you.

Listening to Jaehyun’s words has your heart lurching, suddenly, the sacred moments the two of you share are now flashing back at the back of your head, although short, the two of you had very much imprinted on each other, unknowingly, every decision the two of you made was in a way, compromised, just like how you moved back to Korea despite already having started university in the states. You lied to yourself that you missed the culture, the food, but now that Jaehyun is in front of you, baring his soul to you, you can no longer hide the fact that you missed him dearly.

You choked up, looking away, you could feel tears welling up the corner of your eyes, your whole fort that you had built up all those years after leaving Korea, finally collapsed in the secrecy of the boy who you call your first love, who is, surprisingly enough, still the same person you’ve met years ago, that heart of his that never changed despite the drastic changes he had made to his physique to be the shining captain he is today.

“You’re just confused, Jae, it’s been so long, and we were only together for those few months, I’m sure you’ve moved on, even Johnny said you had a girlfriend, so why do you suddenly want to salvage a sunken ship, Jaehyun? You should move onto someone who deserves you, someone who doesn’t have flaws like mine,” you mumbled the last part, your voice strained, it’s been a few years, but you’re still in the midst of healing, your heart is still very much bruised and battered from all the emotional turmoil you’ve been through almost your whole life. You unconsciously bring your legs closer to yourself, hugging your calves, a position you’ve grown accustomed to whenever you were in a vulnerable headspace.

Jaehyun slowly crawls to you on his knees, careful to not startle you, his usually rough actions from all the years of roughing up with the boys seamlessly disappears, his gentle hands lightly hold your elbows, the contact felt comforting to your frantic heart and messy mind, like an anchor keeping you from floating away into the harsh seas of your mind.

“I told you this all those years ago, and still my opinion of you has never changed, you worth so much to me, you’re my whole universe, your worth isn’t measured by the hurt they put you through, just because you suffer from the demons in your head, doesn’t mean your worth is depreciated in any way, you’re my perfect, if only you can see yourself through my eyes, you’d be able to see how beautiful you are, inside and out,” Jaehyun lays out all of the thoughts that he had locked up ever since you came back, you bring all sorts of emotions inside him, but only with you, he feels whole.

Jaehyun moves to sit beside you, he slowly untangles you from the cocoon you made out of yourself to reveal your tear stained cheeks and pained eyes looking up at him.

Jaehyun uses the sleeves of his cardigan to absorb the tears, patting your cheeks gently as if you were made of porcelain. When you had composed yourself and you stopped crying, Jaehyun guides your shoulder with his two nimble fingers into his embrace, giving you the space and opportunity to back out. You lean into his warmth, resting your head against his shoulder, breathing out a deep breath, feeling part of the weight of your heart being lifted off, Jaehyun couldn’t help the faint smile meeting his face when he felt your whole body loosen up a bit.

Whenever you were stressed or sad, your body would always tense up, and Jaehyun hates seeing you that way, but he despises the people that did this to you more, how can parents treat their kids like this? No decent human with half a mind would think of inflicting this sort of pain onto their own flesh and blood. Jaehyun recalls the first time he’s found himself and you in this predicament, it was only two months before you had said goodbye to him.

Jaehyun was fresh out of the shower after a tiring day of practice and schooling, he heard the chime of his phone ring, your name popping up on his screen, thinking it was just another ‘reminder to rest’ calls you’d make to him on days where he has practice, he answers the phone with the usual one liner ‘did you miss me already’ he often uses to tease you, but right after his cheerful greeting, he hears you crying over the line, his heart drops, his head was already picturing the worst things that could’ve happened to you for you to be like this.

“Why are you crying? What happened? Where are you?” Jaehyun asks as he scrambles to get dressed single handed, he needs to go to you right now.

“I’m at the park down your street, can you come see me?” you uttered over the line, struggling to get the words out.

“I’ll come to you now, don’t hang up,” Jaehyun said before he dashed out of his house, running at full speed in his slippers, the pavement felt much harder in these shoes, but he doesn’t care if his sole gets bruised, he needs to see you as quick as he could.

Jaehyun rounds the corner before he sees a figure bundled up in a black parka, he recognises the bracelet he had gifted you a week ago dangling on your wrist, your arms wrapped around your legs, you looked so small, so fragile, Jaehyun rushes up to you, holding you close as he whispers to you that he’s here, that he’s for you.

“Tell me what’s wrong, please,” Jaehyun pleads, hands stroking your arms soothingly, calming you down.

“They found out about how I failed the physics trial paper,” you said after taking a deep breath, saying it aloud eased your heart a bit.

“What they did do to you?” Jaehyun’s asked about your family once before the two of you were just friends, you had dismissed it as just them being complicated, until you slowly revealed the truth to him, how they’d say the most dehumanising and hurtful things to you, you had to hold him back once when he saw bruises on your wrists, your father had went berserk and tried to hold you down as he shouted at you about something you had broke on accident, Jaehyun would’ve beat your father up after school if it wasn’t you who spent one whole empty period talking some sense back into his head.

“They said mean things again, but it was a bit worse than usual this time around, I don’t why I’m so sensitive today, you must be tired, and still I called you out,” you mumbled as you sink into his hold, the scent of his peach body wash calming your tired heart.

“Don’t say sorry, I’m glad you called me, you shouldn’t have to go through this alone, you don’t have to anymore, I’m just a street away, I’ll always be with you,” Jaehyun promised, holding you tighter, almost squeezing you, but it was the most comforting feeling in the world to you.

You’d never thought you’d be in this position again, it feels weird to have someone comforting you in the midst of a breakdown again, but very much comforting. You don’t how long the two of you were holding each other on the floor, but when you start dozing off, Jaehyun carries you like a child, hooking your knees beneath his left arm as your arms hold his shoulders loosely, he notes how you cling to him as natural as breathing in your sleep, he slips out of the party silently, knowing how you don’t like garnering too much attention to yourself.

Jaehyun puts you in the passenger seat of the car before sending a text to Johnny to let him know that he has to find his own way home, the drive back was quiet, but the sound of your even breathing was like melody to his ears.

Jaehyun carried you into his home, setting you on his bed before he gently shakes you awake, a fresh set of warm sweats in his hand.

“You should change, I remember you said you hate wearing a bra to sleep,” Jaehyun says, almost laughing aloud when he recalls you saying years ago that girls who wears bras to sleep are crazy.

You nodded, climbing out of bed into his connected bathroom to change. Jaehyun could never get over the sight of you in his clothes, looking like a cute little doll in oversized clothes, just too cute for your own good.

“You take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch,” Jaehyun said as he stood up, but when he turned his back, he felt your small hand wrapping around his wrist.

“Stay,” you said before scooting over his already tiny bed, giving up space for Jaehyun to join you.

Jaehyun wanted to cheer like he won a match, but he keeps it to himself, trying his best to not smile like a mad man when he lays down next to you, when Jaehyun was sinking into slumber, he felt your warmth against his own, the two of you tangled up in each other as he drifted off to dreamland.

Waking up warm and snugged, you were confused as to why your blanket was pulled up to your chin, you tend to kick off everything in your sleep, you tried going back to sleep, eyes not even bothering to open, knowing that today was a weekend and that you could sleep in as long as you can.

That is, until you heard the sound of pots and pans from your kitchen, you jolted awake, did someone break in? You realise in your fully awake state that you weren’t in your own room, confused, you racked your head until memories of last night began flooding in like a broken dam, you sat there, on Jaehyun’s bed, needing to remind yourself that it wasn’t just a dream, that you still had feelings for him, that he felt the same way about you, but what are the two of you now? Where does this rekindled flame stand?

You sigh, kicking off the blanket to get out of bed, your feet meeting something soft when you swung them over to the chilly wooden floor, looking down, you see a pair of house slippers, the size obviously too big for you, it was probably Jaehyun’s, did he leave them here for you? Aren’t his feet cold?

You slipped them on, padding your way into his connected bathroom, using the toothbrush that he had left there after that night you had used, he didn’t chuck it out.

When you were done, you opened a small crack of his door, peeking out to see if Johnny was there, when you don’t hear nor listen his giant of a friend, you made your way out to Jaehyun who was stationed at the kitchen, flipping eggs, a pair of socks on.

You silently made your way over to him, his back was turned to you, he was surprised when he felt your hand on the dip of his back, turning back, he sees you over his shoulder, peering up at him with those doe eyes of yours, the ones that would have Jaehyun steal a star out of a sky for you if you’d ever ask.

“Morning,” Jaehyun greeted with a dimpled smile before he turns his body slightly to peck your forehead, “omelettes for breakfast, wait at the dining table, it’ll be quick,” Jaehyun told you.

“Okay,” you said before you made your way to where he directed you to, looking around to see the many photos that are framed on his walls, mostly photos of Jaehyun and Johnny along with the rest of their teammates, trophy held high in each one, some were casual, probably team dinners by the look of the seating and the food that filled the table.

“Breakfast is served,” Jaehyun said, putting the heavy plate in between the two of you before handing you a fork.

“Jae, why did you cook so many eggs? This thing is as thick as a textbook,” you said while studying the omelette, seeing the bits and pieces of ham and spinach on the surface.

“Johnny can have the leftovers, he craves eggs during a hangover,” Jaehyun said with a chuckle, knowing how his friend and his habit of getting wasted, he probably slept at a girl’s place, knowing him.

You nodded at Jaehyun’s words, too focused on the tasty food in your mouth, savouring the taste, surprised at the sour tinge when you bit onto a piece of tomato.

“You’re still a very good cook, Jae,” you complimented, taking larger bites.

“Good to know that your taste in food is still the same,” Jaehyun teased, thinking back the times where you’d suddenly get sick of a food you swore would be your favourite forever.

“I had commitment issues with food, very toxic masculinity of me,” you joked before the two of you broke out in a laugh.

“So I’ll take this as a message that you don’t have actual commitment issues,” Jaehyun asked after calming down. eyes looking at you expectantly, hoping.

“I don’t if you don’t,” you said teasingly.

“Okay, girlfriend,” Jaehyun said with a smirk before going back to chewing his food.

“Wow, just that, huh?” you said with a shake of a head, but you were more than satisfied, the two of you are long overdue, it’s time the two of you reconciled as lovers.

“Let’s relax for now, I’ll take you out tomorrow, promise,” Jaehyun proposed, a pinky outreached for you.

“I’ll hold onto your word,” you said with a jokingly stern voice as you hooked your pinky onto his.

The way Jaehyun was looking you as you watched your favourite rom com was all too endearing, the way they held galaxies in his eyes, you swore, Jaehyun’s gotten more lovesick for you than the first time around the two of you were together, and at that moment, you understood the meaning of distance bringing people together, you thought that Jaehyun was just into you all those years ago because it was his first time, but now, sitting here next to him, you can feel his love as strongly as you feel the warmth flowing from his body onto yours in the chilly atmosphere of his living room.

As the ending credits rolled, you got up from your seat beside him to climb into his lap, kissing him squarely on the lips, catching him off guard, but the two of you were smiling as your tongues met, slithering like how Jaehyun’s arms were to your waist. You forgot how soft and plump his lips felt, you felt yourself become addicted to the way his hands clasp onto your thighs, everything felt so complete, you were so used to Jaehyun being a missing piece after your departure, but now being with him again, feeling him under your fingertips, you could feel the missing piece being stitched back into the hole of your heart, and oh how it’s soaring for him.

“Let me show you how much I miss you,” you said before standing up to hold your hand in his, dragging him to the direction of his room.

Jaehyun remembers how you were each other’s first time, he promises that he’ll be your last too, and what better way to seal his love for you than kissing you again? Slamming his door shut, he kisses you roughly, his lips revealing the red hot passion he couldn’t utter.

You let your weight fall onto the door as your hands run down the panes of his back, his muscles rippling under your touch, when you began tugging at his pants, Jaehyun got the message, hooking your legs to lightly toss you onto his bed.

A giggle of surprise escapes your lips before you cut off by Jaehyun’s lips flittering to the expanse of your neck, purple flowers blooming in his wake, he doesn’t stop until the collar of his shirt comes in his way.

Jaehyun ceases his actions, looking at you for permission, you nod, reaching down to take off the tee, showing your bare chest to Jaehyun who had frozen in his tracks, eyes drawn to your breasts, eyes taking in every curve and swell, he takes one in his mouth, his lips expertly wrapped around your nipple as his hand busies with the other, copying his tongues movements, setting a mild pace for you.

You absolutely adore it, the way he sucks onto your breast like a baby, how he closes his eyes to savour the feeling, and god, the way his spit drips out onto your breast, you didn’t remember Jaehyun being this messy back then, but you love the feeling, you love everything about him.

You push Jaehyun downwards when the ache between your legs get too much, silently telling him to move on, Jaehyun obliges, his nose dragging down the smooth expanse of your stomach, as if he can’t go on without his face touching your body in any way.

Jaehyun stopped at the band of your panties, waiting for your approval before pulling the flimsy drenched material off of you, eyeing the wet spot at the crotch, he had to hold himself back not to sniff them and lick them clean, that can be revealed another time, right now, there’s something long over due that needs to be done.

He stand up to take off his shirt, placing it onto the existing pile of the clothes that you once adorned, he’s now completely bare before you, and standing over you like this, you can’t help but whimper at the way his cock was standing against his rock hard abs, at that moment, Jaehyun looks like a literal god, and how you want to worship him on your knees, but before you could put that fantasy into reality, Jaehyun pins you on the bed with a sly smile before flipping himself over, maneuvering you onto his face.

“Reclaim your throne, baby,” Jaehyun said before he moved the hands that are held onto your upper thighs, moving you like a doll, you were no match to his strength.

“Fuck, Jaehyun...” you spluttered, it was so fast, one moment you were thinking of sucking him off, and now his tongue was inside you, trying to worm itself way into you as deep as he could go, the way his upper teeth was digging into your clit has you delirious, your mind empty other than Jaehyun.

You could feel the string in your lower belly threaten to snap when Jaehyun slipped two fingers inside you, opening you up for his thick length, he’s sure the other guys you’ve taken are not anywhere close, this pussy belongs to him and him only, Jaehyun concluded before he lightly bit on your clit, the edge that you needed for you to fall apart on top of him.

Your toes curled painfully as you screamed Jaehyun’s name, a sheen of sweat covered your beautiful body, and fuck, Jaehyun has the front row seat, he even drinks up your sweet juices, his tongue lapping at your core like a starved kitten, a hand behind your back to assist you in riding out your high.

When you felt a tinge of overstimulation, you smacked Jaehyun’s shoulder lightly, telling him to let you off. Jaehyun watches proudly as he sees the way your legs were shaking from the high that he had given you.

“I’m on pill,” you said after you laid down beside Jaehyun, legs parted, oh so welcoming for Jaehyun.

“You just came, you don’t want a break?” Jaehyun asked, worried that you might overexert yourself.

“No, I’m fine, hurry, before Johnny gets back from his hook up,” you reminded Jaehyun.

“Yeah, okay,” Jaehyun said, mind swerving, a bit distracted by the beauty of your core.

Jaehyun perched his arms beside your head, kissing your lips softly before he uses a hand to position himself at your entrance, slipping in the tip, almost moaning at the way your walls wrap around him so snugly, you let your hands fall onto his shoulder, bringing him closer to you, a silent message for him to move forward, sometimes Jaehyun needed a reminder that you weren’t made of porcelain.

When Jaehyun was finally filled to the brim, you could feel your second orgasm threatening to unfold, the way Jaehyun expertly thrusted into you from numerous direction until he finally found your sweet spot once again, knowing from the way you whimpered his name so sweetly, he almost came if he haven’t had a voice in his head reminding him not to fuck up. Jaehyun sticks to the motivation in front of him, you, he wants you to cum once more, he wants to see you fall apart on his cock just as much as his face, and so he clenches his jaw and puts more strength into his hips.

Your voice fails when Jaehyun sets the pace harder and faster, your nails digging into Jaehyun’s arm the only sign that you weren’t lost, because the way your eyes were rolled back into your head, he knows you’re a goner, he just wasn’t sure how far.

“Just a little bit longer, baby, you’re doing so well,” Jaehyun whispered beside your ear between groans, you don’t know if it was the gradual build up that had you reeling or Jaehyun’s husky voice, because your high caught you completely off guard, your body spasming as your insides convulses, your velvet walls squeezing around Jaehyun, pushing him over the edge, his breath staggering.

Jaehyun had his eyes shut to enjoy this euphoric moment, that is, until they snap back open when your pussy leaves him hanging, Jaehyun watches you intently as you rearrange yourself to stuff his cock into your own mouth, swallowing around his throat quickly, desperate for his cum.

Jaehyun curses at the sight of your lips around his cock, his eyes trail down, catching onto the shimmering spurts of cum that you hadn’t caught in your mouth, splattered like an art piece across your breasts. Jaehyun grasped the back of your head gently, thrusting into your throat as slowly as he could until he rides out his high, pulling your head away to detach your lips from his cock, his meat slapping your face lightly in the process.

“Good girl, you did such a good job,” Jaehyun praised before reaching down to kiss your cum stained lips, tasting himself on you.

The sweet moment was ruined by a banging on his door.

“No more second round, you guys! My head is already killing me!” Johnny demanded before walking away, leaving the two of you alone.

“Sorry about that, I’ll get you cleaned up, love,” Jaehyun said, carrying you into his bathroom.

Love, you could get used to that.

#nct smut #nct fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fluff #jeong jaehyun #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #yoonoh #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fluff #nct 2021 #nct u #nct imagines #nct fanfic #nct x reader #happy jaehyun day

1K notes · View notes

inkedtae · 3 years

Text

vi. rotten angelcake ⇾ kth. [M]

chapter six : buzz off ⤑ taehyung sends you a gift. you call him for help.

⇽ prev. | masterlist | next ⇾

⌁ pairing; ceo!taehyung x curvy!reader (f.)

⌁ genre/rating; s2l, ceo au, sugar daddy au, smut, fluff, 18+

⌁ word count; 4.1k

⌁ warnings; mentions and depictions of vaping, mullet!taehyung (yes, bestie this is a fucking warning), dom!taehyung, daddy!taehyung, sub!reader, brat!reader, virgin!reader, possessiveness, phone sex, use of sex toy, daddy kink, size kink, praise kink, corruption kink, dirty talk, jealousy, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, degradation, oragsm control, teasing, gagging, begging, cum tasting

⌁ le playlist

ও as always a hundred thanks to cam ( @sunshinejunghoseokie ) for the pretty, pretty banner!! a million and one thanks to all my betas sammy ( @chateautae ), eva ( @nottodayjjk ) and kiki ( @uhgood-dooghu ) for always coming through for me and reading every chapter to make sure i don’t make a fool of myself sdjfh. love you babes 🥺💖

[angelcake] : i mean it looks fun online.

[V] : still watching and never touching?

[angelcake] : i don’t have one to use so i could touch, sherlock.

[angelcake] : you’d think the guy that graduated from MIT at 17 would know that.

[V] : ah still thinking about me, aren’t you?

[angelcake] : buzz off.

Last night’s conversion returns to you as you read those two words written neatly on a piece of Bangtan Industries stationary. The card sits beside the small toy on your bed. Laying on your stomach, you’ve been staring at the damned thing since you pulled it out of the box. You’ve read and reread the instructions, already connected the controls through bluetooth on your phone but still cannot manage to just use it.

Taking it in your hands, you examine the butterfly-shape. You had mentioned only the day before that you spotted a butterfly on your way back from work and shared with him how much you love them. In true Taehyung fashion, he made sure to include that in his next grand gesture.

It’s just as well because, as you’ve read from the instructions, this is a beginners toy. The pink rubber wrapped “wings” are somewhat foldable for easy insertion and the vibration that buzzes all the way to make it flap is not too intense.

The size of it is even manageable, you think. As it lays in your palm, you consider the width of the wingspan. It’s not even barely the size of Taehyung - a detail you know from the burning imprint of his cock against you only a few days ago. You remember so well that he’s just too big. Your pussy wasn’t even able to properly consider him.

A giggle escapes you despite the bite of your lip. It's just so hard not to get excited when Taehyung roams around between memories in your head. The same thing happens when you see his name pop up on your phone. How can you not smile when he’s texting to ask about you and your day and if you're okay?

Your pussy aches for him. Wetting your inner thighs, your arousal pools at your entrance and sticks to your skin. It’s the cost of not wearing panties at home.

Sitting back on your knees, you decide enough is enough. Your clit is throbbing at this point and you need that stimulation you’re not so fucking addicted to all because of him. He’s given you the chance not to wait too long for his touch, the chance to live out that fantasy you are always finding online. You once saw a video of a guy having tied his girl up, her lower half only on camera as she chases after the toy he hovers over her pussy. She could barely move her hips, still she tries.

All you can think about in that moment is Taehyung. Taehyung and his dark chuckle. Taehyung and his expensive cologne as he leans over you and tells you to stay fucking still like the good girl he knows you are. Taehyung and his large hands petting your thighs to ensure you follow through with his orders.

Why couldn’t he deliver this in person? Why didn’t he just call you and tell you how to work it, even if it did come with instructions?

You eye your phone. He hasn’t replied to your good morning text yet and it's well past noon. He’s busy.

Still, you want him.

Picking up your phone, your thumb hovers over the Sugar Rush app icon, then his name, then the keyboard. You hesitate, unsure if you should bother him or not. The message ends up writing itself.

[angelcake] : daddy i need help.

Taehyung’s name glows a dark green as he immediately pops online.

[V] : What is it, Angel? Are you okay?

You can always tell how serious he is over text by how accurate his grammar becomes.

[V] : Here's my number. Call me now.

Though you already have his number, he sends it anyway, knowing it would be faster to just click on it to call rather than switch between apps.

“Are you hurt?”

His voice rushes with urgency, carrying worry. You can just see the crinkle of his brows as they furrow and that scowl tightening his generous lips.

Gulping, you reassure him, “Everything is fine.”

“Are you hurt?” he repeats, louder, slower.

“No, Tae, I’m fine. I promise. I didn’t mean to scare you,” you say, though there is a hint of fear in your voice. He just spoke with such… intensity. With the phone pressed to your ear, every ripple of his deep voice resonated right to your clit. You press your legs together as he lets out a sigh of relief.

“Okay,” there is a soft click of a door in the background, “what is it you need help with, Angel?” He speaks a bit freer. You assume he must’ve snuck away into his office.

“Are you busy?” you ask instead.

You can hear the smirk tugging on the corner of his lips as he dismisses your question, “That doesn’t matter. What is it, Angel?”

Having accompanied him a handful of times, you know what he’d be doing if he was sitting in front of you right now, saying those words. He’d pull you into his lap and brush your hair back as he listened. Then, he’d tease you and laugh and make you cum in a quick blur. You always find those moments indistinctly intertwined when looking back.

But even without these images, the soothing, alluring tone of his voice disarms your doubts and worries. You sit comfortably on your bed, smiling down to yourself as you say, “So, I got your gift.”

Taehyung chuckles. “Oh, you need help starting it,” he arrogantly guesses. That amused hint that always glints in his eyes flashes before you.

“Well…” you trail off, not really sure how to explain it. Taehyung is patient, waiting silently as you gather your thoughts. “Sort of? I don’t know. I mean, I think I know how it works. It’s just- I just feel like it’s not going to work.”

“It should already be charged, Angel.”

“No, not the... um… toy,” you swallow thickly, face going hot all over. Why the hell is that so hard for you to say? You were only just talking about it last night. Trying again, you sigh then plead, “I, um- Daddy, just please help me.”

You hear a shift over the phone, a little squeak of a chair. He must’ve sat up in his seat. “You have to talk to me, honey. What isn’t going to work? Why are you so worried? I think it comes with instructions, Angel. Did you read them?”

The soft delicacy of his tone cradles your worries away enough to make you pout. The urge to nuzzle against his chest, hide your face in the crook of his neck and simply remain engulfed in his warmth is strong enough to make you shiver without it.

Playing with the hem of your nightgown, you practically whine, “Three times.” You take a moment to let out a heavy sigh, to which Taehyung breathes a smirk - you just know it. “I just… I just don’t think I’m going to… finish,” you finally confess after another round of hesitance.

“Aw, Angel,” Taehyung coos. His voice against your ear almost makes you feel like he’s actually here, whispering into it and kissing the shell the way he knows you adore. “Do you really not touch yourself at all when you’re alone?”

You pause… a little too long.

Taehyung poorly stifles his laughter.

“Shut up,” you whine half-heartedly. “That’s not the point.”

“What is the point? How am I going to help you?”

“I, um… I just don’t know where to put it,” you lie.

There’s that smirk again. A single breath over the phone and you can hear it so distinctly. “Those videos online haven’t taught you much?”

You should have known he’d be smug about this. You should have known he’d tease you relentlessly. He’s not here for you to shove your breasts against him and peer at him innocently the way you always do to get under his skin. Taehyung is always more merciful when you act too desperate not to be taken care of.

Then, you remember how well your voice does too. When you lighten your tone and speak slower, in a prominent pout, he melts right into you. Summoning that innocence once more, you say, “Won’t you please help me use it, Daddy?”

There is the slightest hitch of his breath. Then total silence. One, two, three beats pass before you hear his lips part. Something about that little tsk when he’s about to speak tells you he’s not totally defenceless to you just yet. So you add a few good whimpers, making a show of shifting around on your bed.

“Switch the call to video,” he orders defeatedly. A hint of excitement still lingers in his words.

You squeal a little giggle, earning an exaggerated sigh over the phone. He’s too cute, you can’t help but think as you lean the phone against the short frame at the foot of the bed. You’re about to change the call to video when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Tousled bed head and a bunny-printed nightgown stare back at you.

“Just a second,” you call out, rushing off your bed and running a comb through your hair. You add a light layer of mascara and lipgloss too for good measure. He hasn’t seen you without your makeup just yet. And, though you are not particularly insecure about how you look, you rather this very sexual moment not be the first time he sees you without your usual glam.

That nightgown is the next to go. You’re stumped on what to replace it with, rummaging through your drawers loud enough to hear Taehyung ask, “Everything alright?”

“Yup,” you immediately shout back. “Be right there.”

Red lace catches your eye in the back of your bottom drawer. Pulling it out, you find a bra and panty set, the tag still on. Examining it, you try to remember where the hell- oh, yes! One of your earlier sugar daddies on the app had sent it to you as a gift, in hopes that you’d wear it for him. That interaction barely lasted a week but when you saw the amount of zeroes on the price tag, you decided to keep the lingerie set just in case.

After struggling to put it on, you glance one last time at your reflection. The red sits so well on you, you’re almost too shy to show Taehyung. And, yet, that excites you all the more. He told you last time that simply watching you walk makes him lose his mind. You wonder what this would do.

The bed squeaks as you climb upon it. You grab your phone and switch the call to video. The camera shows you from the chin up, making Taehyung smile. He’s sitting back on his office chair, leaning against one of his arm rests with a finger in his mouth.

“What took you so long, Angel? I thought you were desperate.”

You raise a brow. “I never said that.”

“You didn’t need to,” he smirks before grabbing his vape pen with his free hand and taking a puff. “Sit back and spread your legs for me, Angel,” he orders through the smoke.

Moving to the head of the bed, you arrange your pillows comfortably behind you before sitting back. Taehyung smokes, smirking as he watches. You use one of your stuffed animals as something to lean your phone against.

That smirk falls when the camera finally captures your outfit, or rather lack thereof. His jaw soon drops, smoke just pouring out with some drool as you spread your legs. For a little while, it’s just his hungry gaze devouring you and your meek frame lounging back patiently. You’ve always been happy to be his meal.

His cocky persona reboots soon, however. Blinking repeatedly, Taehyung snaps himself out of his daze as licks his lips. “Did you buy this just for Daddy, Angel?” he condescendingly asks.

Your legs press together as you shyly hide behind your knees. He coos between little fits of laughter, his face the picture of pity at your innocence. “Do you like it, Daddy?” He’s in the middle of nodding, tongue twisting between his teeth while he smirks, when you add, “It was a gift.”

Taehyung pauses. Jaw tightening, he raises a brow. “A gift?” he questions. “From who?”

The memory of him rubbing himself against you last week flashes in your mind. That simple, buffered conversation with Marco was enough to make something primal snap within him. He was jealous from a mere look. So, you know that telling him another man bought you a lingerie set will not end well. But, you know lying to him won’t work either. Taehyung has always been able to read right through you.

“No one important,” you shrug, not particularly lying. Leaning over the camera to grab your new vibrator, you quickly change the subject. “So can you please help me with this, Daddy?”

There is a momentary gleam of anger in his gaze that Taehyung immediately blinks away. Schooling his features to be brighter, he cracks a smile and nods. “Hold it to your clit like a good girl,” he says casually, reaching for his phone on the table.

You furrow your brows, slightly confused. “You have two phones?”

One must be for business, you tell yourself, then pray for that to be the truth.

His smile widens as he shakes his head, “No, Angel. I’m just using my laptop to talk to you.”

A relieved sigh leaves you. Taehyung catches it, that usual amusement overtaking his expression.

Eager to escape his smug stare, you press the vibrator over your already stained panties and ask, “Should I turn it on?”

“I’ll do that, Angel.” The furrow of your brows tips him off to your confusion. “I programmed it to my phone before sending it to you, just in case you need help down that line. Who knew you’d come begging before even starting?”

You playfully glare. “I didn’t beg,” you clarify. “I just asked-Ah!”

Suddenly, light buzzes pressed snugly against your throbbing bundle of nerves make you jolt. Taehyung inhales another sip of smoke as he watches with such a compelling degree of arrogance, you can’t look away from him no matter how badly you try. Staring through the smoke that somewhat clouds his face, you bite your lip and roll your hips against the toy.

“Take the panties off.” He tosses the order casually, like he just asked you to grab him something from the kitchen. “I want to see how wet you are.”

Hesitant to remove the toy at first, you had every intention of keeping those panties on and further pressing the vibrations against you. But his words only make you wetter and the thought of showing him just how wet makes your toes curl. Setting the toy aside, you lean over a bit and bring your legs together. Your panties are drenched, rolling into themselves as you pull it off.

“Can you put them in your mouth for me, Angel? Oh, yes, that’s my good girl. How do you taste? Just as sweet as usual?” he asks with a little smile.

You suck your arousal out of the lace, eyes rounded as you shyly peer up at him. When you nod, he chuckles a bit to himself.

He rubs the tip of the pen against his lip, adding, “And spread those legs. Lemme see.”

The butterfly dully buzzes beside you as you spread your legs. You’ve barely been touched, but your breathing is irregular enough to be heard over the phone and pussy wet enough to string stickily to your thighs.

Taehyung leans in, resting his arms over the desk as he admires your wetness. He licks his lips and smirks, “Tell me the truth, were you playing with yourself before calling?”

You immediately shake your head.

An astonished sigh escapes him. He takes a moment of silence, save for the quiet buzzing beside you, to just gaze at how you clench. His fingers somewhat scratch against the table, lip tucked between his teeth and chewed.

Leaning back on your palms, you huff a little whine. Your impatience flickers his gaze ever so slightly up. That smirk resurfaces.

“Rub the butterfly against that mess, Angel,” he nods, sitting back in his seat.

You grab the toy by the long rubber antennas, little balls decorating the tip, and do as you’re told. Your hips roll every time those little vibrations tickle your clit. Little gasps of moans tumble out of you, head rolling back. You’re thankful he had you gag yourself, the thin fabric of your panties muffling your voice enough not to wake Mrs. Chu from her nap in the other room.

Taehyung’s silence forces your attention back to the screen. Elbow resting on the arm of the chair, finger pointed near his raised brow, Taehyung watches you slowly get yourself off with a smirk and some smoke. There is a hint of amused mischief in his gaze that makes you shudder, jolting against the toy uncontrollably. That must’ve been enough for him because that free hand disappeared under his desk. Picking up his phone, he asks, “What were you thinking about?”

The buzzing intensifies. You hold the toy steady to your clit now, obsessed with the way it hums against it. “D-Daddy,” you regrettably stutter around the panties. Your voice is still muffled but Taehyung makes out the syllables all the same.

And then he laughs, patronizing you as he says, “That’s adorable, Angel. Thinking about Daddy makes you this wet?” Smoke swirls around him as he sits back and gazes. An unseen superiority gleams through the haze.“What about Daddy? Come on, Angel, you have to tell me now.”

Biting down hard on the lace, you swallow a moan. What the fuck are you supposed to tell him? That you think about every interaction you’ve ever had and before you know it, you’re a needy, sopping mess? If the simple indication that it is his fault has him so cocky, then specifics will snap something dangerous within him. He will tease. You know he will. And he’ll mock you in that sexy way he always does, until you scream and beg and you can’t afford that kind of experience right now. Any other day, you’d play right into his hand, but Mrs. Chu cannot walk in on you like this.

No matter how hot it would be to get caught.

Taehyung’s eyes darken. Your silence is not appreciated. The buzzing grows faster, those little wings of the butterfly now flapping from the intensity. Holding it by the width instead of length, you receive much better pay off. The wings now lay light slaps against your pussy as they vibrate. Another moan climbs your throat and escapes before you can stop it.

“If you’re going to be a disobedient slut, you, at the very least, need to keep your eyes open,” Taehyung loudly hisses.

You open your eyes, not even registering that you’ve closed them, to find him glaring at you. “So-rry,” you whimper around the lace.

Taehyung dryly scoffs. “You will be,” he seethes.

When the fuck did he get so mad? All you did was not answer one question. Just one. Why- Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Daddy!” you cry, eyes snapping to your closed door in horror. You don’t hear a stir in the hallway, but the volume of your voice and aspiration of your tone is alarming enough.

Why must he turn up the intensity without warning you? Those wings now practically smack your pussy, your clit and clenching hole receiving the same boundless, ruthless treatment of non stop stimulation. Your legs shake, lifting off the bed as you lean completely back into your pillows. Even still, body trembling and legs standing tall over you, your gaze remains on Taehyung.

He stares with a tightened jaw and angry eyes. That hand under his desk moves fast as a little clink of metal sounds. His chest rises and falls heavily, brows furrowed and shoulders rigid. The hand clutching onto his phone trembles.

“Who bought that for you?” he asks again.

Oh, is that what this harsh treatment is about? You spit the panties out, praying you’ll be able to keep yourself quiet enough as you reply, “I-I to-ld you-”

“I want a fucking name!” he shouts, falling back in his chair.

The sheer volume of his voice makes you cower, tucking your chin into your chest and shyly peering at him. A little groan escapes him. It coaxes a string of whimpers from you. “I-” you start only to cut yourself off when he glares. “I don’t know. I-I don’t remem-ber.”

That’s not a good enough answer. Not to Taehyung. The vibrator hits what you believe is its highest setting, jumping to a speed unknown to man. You have to use your entire hand to cup the thing in place as it buzzes, smacking and humming against your most sensitive spots. He’s crazy if he thinks you’ll be able to keep your eyes open now. Screwing them shut, you throw your head back and let out a string of dry sobs.

“Look at me,” he growls.

“I ca-ca-n’t!”

“You will.”

It’s the depth of his voice. It’s the way it always makes your heart fall and stew in the pit of your stomach, using that rough rasp as the only source of comfort. That’s what snaps your head back to the phone. That’s what makes you summon the last shred of willpower to pry your eyes open and meet his hungry, annoyed gaze. That’s the only thing that makes you obedient, you tell yourself.

Because it’s not the way you’re about to cum for him. It’s not the way his relentless jealousy feeds into the most toxic part of your soul. And it’s most definitely not the way you are obsessed with how much he possessively cares.

“Give me a name,” he whispers, much less aggressive.

You profusely shake your head, about to tell him you really don’t remember when he cuts you off.

“Angel, give me a fucking name,” he seethes, his hand knocking against his desk in rhythmic bumps. “Or you won’t cum at all.”

“But, I-I re-ally- Daddy, please!” you whine, your orgasm quickly growing.

Taehyung lowly growls, but doesn’t utter another word. He just stares as you whine and whine his name.

“Please, Daddy, Da-Daddy!” You can’t manage to form another word, your mind almost broken with the hyperawareness that you’re oh so fucking close. “I do-don’t- Fuck, Daddy, I can’t!”

He shakes his head. “A name.”

“Daddy!”

You cum. And you shake. And you almost fall off your bed, trying not to make it so obvious that you’ve cum. But with the tight curl of your toes and hyper-extension of your legs, how the hell is he not to know? It doesn’t help at all that your jaw falls open and both eyes twitch before rolling back with the throw of your head. Your pillows engulf you, covering your face as your back arches.

Taehyung huffs a growl, then a string of curses. There is a clatter on the other side of the call, but you don’t catch it, too consumed by your orgasm. Blood rushes to your head, clogging your ear with the rush enough to stunt your hearing for a few moments.

You so wish that in the midst of all this, you at the very least had the chance to catch your breath. However, when cinching your voice at the base of your throat, you’ve also blocked your airway and thus cut yourself off from oxygen. You’re gasping loudly for air by the time you think you’re would-be-screaming moan subsides.

“What the fuck did I tell you?” Taehyung shouts. The thumping under his desk has stopped.

Tossing the toy off you, it’s stimulation all too much to handle now, you pull your legs together and mutter in weak whimpers, “I tried. I tried not to,” you slowly push yourself up, “I tried to not cum, Daddy. It-It was hard. It felt-”

Your phone screen is dark. You tap on it, the lock screen flashing to life. When you log in, you find the call has disconnected from his end.

The buzzing soon ceases.

tags : @marcoazz2 @complexmolecule @whats-good-ross @mawwnsterr @neverthefirstchoice @taeisbae13 @taeluvrr @llcalumhoodll @finelinememories @taestycake @suh-nrise @ellesalazar @ifntelyinspirit @bambuzlee @lookatmeimmrmeeseek5 @thelilbutifulthings @taepiper @daggersandicedcoffee @satansleftnut @gingerspicetalks @iridescent-5

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission.

#kim taehyung smut #taehyung smut #v smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #bangtansorciere #btshoneyhive #networkbangtan

731 notes · View notes