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#my goal is to wreak havoc for the 4 people who will watch this
jea-lousy1 · 3 months
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pretty boy, consumed by death, with the holes in his sneakers and eyes all over me
-dust bowl
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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years
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Why Samurai Jack is a Fan-Frickin’-Tastic Character
Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.
And today, I’d like to introduce you to somebody:
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This is Samurai Jack, from the popular Cartoon Network series Samurai Jack. Jack is a rare case. Where most shows would have a cast of main, secondary, and recurring characters of varying sizes, Samurai Jack is a series that mostly follows its titular character on his own. Sure, occasionally, you'll see the Scottsman or Aku making an appearance once in a while. But for ninety-five percent of the series, it's entirely focused on Jack and whatever oddball bounty hunter he's forced to deal with for the next twenty-two minutes. This type of decision can be risky because without quality writing, strictly following the same character week after week could get boring real quick. Thankfully, Samurai Jack is a series that's packed to the brim with incredible writing and direction, making Jack himself a fan-frickin'-tastic character.
How is that possible? Well, let me count the ways.
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1. He’s the right type of overpowered
Jack knows almost every fighting style in the world and uses that knowledge to survive every bounty hunter, demon, and/or robot he faces every episode. On paper, this type of character could seem unbelievable given that he's just a mortal man, and even monotonous to know he always wins. But that's the thing: Even though Jack manages to almost always win every fight he's in, it's quickly explained why in the very first episode. Through a montage, we see Jack learning every fighting style from several teachers, each of them helping him prepare for the ultimate battle against Aku, an unspeakable evil. Through the simple act of showing us a few scenes of Jack learning a new skill, it's easy to understand why he's a difficult opponent to beat and easy to believe when he introduces another fighting style we haven't seen him use yet. Plus, while Jack's fighting is formidable, that doesn't make him--
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WRONG SHOW! But it's true.
Despite winning every episode, it is never an easy feat. Nearly every battle results in Jack getting beat up and torn apart (Or, his clothes do, anyway). When this happens, it makes the victory feel earned rather than easily given. Take his fight against the beetles in episode three, for example. All of his traps go off without a hitch, and he makes it out while standing upon a pile of his vanquished foes. However, during the fight, his armor got stripped away entirely, and he's now scratched up and covered in robot oil:
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That image alone proves that even though he’s winning, it doesn’t come easy for him. That remains a staple throughout most of the series, throwing in a few instances when he temporarily loses only to make his eventual victory all the sweeter. He may be overpowered, but at least it's still entertaining to watch regardless.
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2. He adapts quickly
A bit of background information to those who haven't the show (probably should have done this in the beginning, but live and learn, I guess): Jack is an ancient samurai that gets magically teleported to a future where his mortal nemesis rules the world. Now, Jack is forced into an environment vastly different from his own, and in turn, he's forced to deal with a lot of stuff he doesn't know. Most writers would take advantage of this type of predicament to make a ton of fish-out-of-water jokes as a way to poke fun at the idea of a samurai being in a futuristic "utopia" (Or, at least, in Aku's eyes, it's a utopia). Thankfully, the writers avoid that cliche. In fact, if my memory serves me right, there's only one fish-out-of-water joke in the entire series. Which I'm more than grateful for because having a character getting thrown off and confused by the world around him would have gotten old fast. But it's not just being in a future world that Jack quickly gets used to. It's also being in situations he's unfamiliar with. Whether it's learning to fit in with dance-crazed zombies or being turned into a chicken (yes, that happens), it doesn't take too long for Jack to figure out a way to get through his current crisis. It proves that even though Jack is a strong warrior in battle, he's also a strategic one who can't be so easily outsmarted.
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3. He plays off of everyone he encounters
Jack, in almost every sense of the word, is a straight man. Most of his humor comes from interacting with the bombastic temperaments of others due to his own behavior being so stoic and calm. The series accomplishes this feat by having the future world filled with colorful personalities, making almost every character the best comedic partner for Jack. Primarily through Aku and the Scottsman, who, as I mentioned before, are the only characters that make regular appearances. These are characters with personalities that clash with Jack's, what with Aku being bombastic and chaotic and the Scottsman being loud and crash. Every time Jack interacts with either of them, comedy almost always follows. A good thing too because while Jack can have his own humorous moments, it's better to pair a straight man with someone insane if you want the laughs to come frequently.
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4. He’s still a ton of fun himself!
That being said, Jack is still a riot when he gets to be. By and large, I'd say he has a dry sense of humor, often shining through when he interacts with someone carrying the chaos for the both of them. But, occasionally, there are moments when Jack lets his goofy side out, and it's always funny. They're rare, but that in itself is why they work. Because since Jack always acts so serious in this series, seeing him suddenly break that character results in a laugh because it's something we wouldn't expect from him. If he always acted like this, it wouldn't hit as hard as it would only just be his usual sense of humor. So seeing him smile like an idiot as he's waiting "for the magic to begin" causes me to bust a gut laughing each time.
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5. He lives despite tragedy
But not everything is all fun and games for our protagonist.
Jack has one goal in this series: Get back to the past and stop the future of Aku from happening. Several episodes make it clear how strenuous a task this could be, showing Jack briefly losing hope that he'll even complete it. Hell, a good chunk of the final season is him practically given up. He still fights to stop Aku's minions from wreaking havoc, but you can see that the light has left his eyes, and he is more than willing for it to end. But, despite how hard things get and how tragic his life can be, there is always a spark of hope that reminds him what he's fighting for and gives him a second wind to finish it. Even when he's at his lowest point, when everything is seemingly hopeless, Jack will always get back up to defeat Aku, no matter what timeline they're in. It is truly noble and shows just how much of a hero Jack is. In fact--
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6. He’s the definition of what a hero should be
At least, to me, he is.
What do I mean? Well, I always believe that a hero is a person who would do everything they can to do the right thing, refusing to let innocent people suffer no matter what the cost. Jack proves it in every episode, frequently the ones where he's inevitably screwed over by his own selflessness. He could easily finish his quest and finally get back to the past, but because it could mean that someone innocent would be badly affected by it, Jack always doubles back to save them. The best example is in the second episode of season two. Jack gets ahold of a fairy that he heard can grant him any wish that he wants, but it's trapped in this ball of energy and will never get out. Jack can just wish to go back to the past and stop Aku once and for all. He only needs to make one simple wish. And what does he wish for? The fairy's freedom.
Because that's who Jack is. He's not the guy who would bargain for the life of another, even if his quest is more important. You can argue all you want that if saving something as inconsequential as the fairy's life is pointless due to tragedies like it being preventable if Jack successfully goes back in time. But that doesn't matter to him. A life is a life, and Jack is not the person to trade it. He's a hero and a damn good one at that.
There are many reasons why Samurai Jack is a fantastic character, but the one above, and the others I've just listed, prove how he is a fan-frickin'-tastic character.
(Sidenote: Does it bother anyone else that, despite five full seasons, we've never known what his real name is? No? Just me? Ok.)
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destielfanfic · 3 years
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My First Destiel Fic, vol.3
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Thank you guys for sharing your memories! My First Destiel Fic is a nostalgic survey open to any destiel fan and has a simple goal - to celebrate fics that were our gateway into a wonderful world of destiel shipping. Thank you, fic writers, you are our heroes!
from @nextheirofslytherin
my first destiel fic was “In This Secluded Spot I Respond As I Wouldn't Dare Elsewhere” by RhymePhile. the girl i liked who got me into supernatural in middle school recommended it to me, so it always has a special place in my heart 😅 it was the first fic i read on ao3 too! i read it while i was watching s3 (cas hadn’t even shown up yet!) but the show was in its 9-10th season
All fic titles link directly to the fic, when it’s possible, we have added another link to our review or submitted rec post.
In This Secluded Spot I Respond As I Wouldn’t Dare Elsewhere by rhymephile [M, 34,000 word count, posted 2010] (our review)
It's 1995, and Castiel's high school years are destined to be difficult: home-schooled until eighth grade, he is awkward, shy, and socially inept. The weird kid with the funny name would rather isolate himself and draw in his sketchbook than deal with the constant bullying he faces every day. Things only get worse in his junior year when he excels in home economics class, leading the captain of the baseball team, Alastair, to start taunting him for being gay. Then new student Dean Winchester arrives at Flour Bluff High School, sharing many of Castiel's classes. Castiel has seen his type before -- handsome, athletic, arrogant, and sure to be the most popular kid in school. But Castiel eventually learns that he and Dean have more in common than he thought, and they form an unlikely friendship.
from @deansbff
i joined the fandom in the beginning of 2019 and molting expectations by tricia_16 was the first fic (over 11k words) that i read. it really made me fall in love with deancas because i realised i didn't need them to be in the canon!verse to be so wonderful, their relationship was amazing in whatever universe they were in and it was always intriguing to read about!!
Molting Expectations by tricia_16 [163,100 word count, posted 2019]
After having trouble coping with a traumatic incident on the job, Dean takes his little brother's advice and leaves everything behind to go stay at the old family cabin in Colorado. Nobody's been there for years so it needs some major work, but it's secluded, and that turns out to be exactly what Dean needs in order to start to feel at peace again. Now in the mountains with nothing but nature to amuse himself with, he takes up bird watching and plans a hike into the mountain range across from his cabin in search of a golden eagle. High up in the mountains, he discovers human footprints. Thinking someone is in danger, he follows them into a cave and quickly becomes familiar with a form of wildlife he never could have imagined: winged people who call themselves angels.
from @bornonathursdayinmarch
I actually started out in the fandom against Destiel. I mean, it was pretty clear that Dean Winchester was not into men. But then I read “Redemption Road” by accident around 2015. I didn’t know it was Destiel. But I got really into it and this fic totally changed my mind on Dean/Cas. I have since read hundreds of Destiel fics and I am more into the ship than ever. My absolute favorite fanfic is “Sweaters and Cigarettes” by lemonoclefox. I love how shy, caring Dean softens cynical Castiel and how in love they are despite being so different. It makes me smile when I’m down.
Redemption Road by spnredemption (the fic is a collaborative effort of a group of destiel writers and artists) [NC-17, 650,000 word count, 24 episodes, posted 2011-12)
With Castiel having set himself up as the new God, drunk on power and volatile as a nuclear reactor, Dean, Sam, and Bobby find themselves on the run from the jealous, capricious monster wearing the face of their friend. Desperate for protection and wary of his brother’s mental state since Castiel unlocked Sam’s memories of Hell, Dean knows Castiel must be defused before he can wreak further havoc in Heaven or on Earth. Although Bobby advocates for destroying Castiel by whatever means necessary, Dean is convinced the Cas he once knew still remains, buried somewhere beneath the mass of poisonous souls and calling out for help. Determined to save the angel who once rescued him from Hell and redefined his purpose in life, Dean himself must resist the allure of the false deity vying for his obedience, and come to terms with the knowledge, long-suppressed, that his feelings for Castiel run much deeper than brotherhood. It is this bond, and the dubious distinction of the Righteous Man, that will ultimately grant Dean access to where Castiel’s grace languishes in Purgatory. However, what Dean brings back with him is broken, angry, and only half-angel, certainly not the Castiel he remembers—and nor is it the only thing that returns to Earth with them…
Sweaters & Cigarettes by lemonoclefox [NC-17, 150,000 word count, posted 2014]  NOTE - the fic was deleted from ao3 by the author, please see our review for more details
Dean Winchester is in high school, crushing hard on Castiel Novak, the unbelievably hot goth who Dean does his very best to convince himself he hates, despite the fact that he can’t really stop staring at him. Dean tries, but when the two of them finally cross paths, their first conversation takes a surprising turn. And suddenly, they both find themselves falling harder and faster than they ever could have expected.
from @iamasphodelknox
Hi! The fic that made Destiel my OTP was The Walk series by Persephoneshadow. It blew my mind and I hadn’t even started watching Supernatural yet. 🙈 I started watching the show last year, just as Season 15 was starting. I’m a newbie but this comfort ship felt like coming home. I also read a turn of the earth by microcomets just as I got to season 4 and it is one of the best things I’ve ever read, fic or no. :)
The Walk by Persephoneshadow [NC-17, 190,000 word count, posted 2017]
Castiel tells himself it was a one time thing, even if his night with a hooker named Dean changed his whole world, but he can’t keep away from the man fate keeps throwing in his path. Castiel is married and he knows his sexuality is an affront to God and everything he’s ever been told is right. Dean tells himself he doesn’t care about the weirdo with blue eyes, but every time they meet he gets a bit closer to something like hope. Dean’s nothing but a homeless waste of space with a brother in foster care a world away and a father in the wind. As the connection between these two lost men deepens, it threatens the carefully maintained lies their lives are built on in a story of faith, mistakes, and the journey of love.
a turn of the earth by mishcollin microcomets [NC-17, 95,300 word count, posted 2015] (our review)
Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run. Frigging fantastic. (Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline pre series and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)
If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos! And if you found our recs useful, let us know by Liking and/or Reblogging our posts!
You can find all My First Destiel Fic posts under this tag!
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jokerfan99 · 3 years
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My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains (Updated) by DarkChild316
In a different time and a different world, I did a list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Villains”. I am older now, and hopefully much wiser and now thanks to the global pandemic and my new subscriptions to Hulu and Funimation I’ve had the opportunity to go back and revisit so many classic anime that I feel like I should re-do it. Plus I’ve gone back and looked at my previous list and shook my head thinking to myself: “My God man, what in the f**k were you thinking with some of these choices!” So, I’ve gone back and redone the list, now this list is strictly for the men only. If you want to see a list dedicated to my favorite female villains, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villainesses.” But for this list, here is my updated list of My Top 10 Favorite Anime Villains:
#10. Shishiho Makoto (Rurouni Kenshin): Growing up as a kid, Ruroni Kenshin was one of the first anime I had ever watched, and this guy was someone who I hated with a passion. Looking back at it years later, I realize now what an amazing villain and foil to Kenshin that Makoto was. Unlike a lot of villains on this list, Makoto wasn’t just evil for the sake of being evil, Makoto’s evil came from the worst type of trauma: betrayal! In this case the betrayal came from Makoto’s own government, where Makoto survived not only multiple gunshots, but being doused in oil and burned alive, leaving him in complete and utter agony. What puts Shishio on my list is what he manages to do after surviving death. He compiles an army of the best fighters Japan has to offer and plots to overthrow the entire Meiji Government. While in complete agony. Who else can claim that? Did I also mention he’s topping the list of the best fighters in the show? His swordsmanship is second only to Kenshin himself as he proves in their absolutely epic fight.
#9. Hisoka Morrow (Hunter x Hunter): Hunter x Hunter is a show with several great villains that truly stand out, and while Meruem was memorable, pardon me for believing that Hisoka was the standout villain from that show. A devious killer and master Nen user, Hisoka is driven by little more than his desire to find and kill strong opponents. Be they young children or master criminals, he’ll pursue them to the ends of the Earth with a bloodlust on par with that of a wild predator. Likewise, he doesn’t care what happens to himself or others in this pursuit. Mass civilian casualties, the loss of his own villainous allies or even the loss of his own limbs barely phases him, so long as he gets to fight with someone that tests his limits. As a result, he more often than not embodies chaos incarnate, wreaking havoc in his pursuit of battle and leaving a mountain of corpses behind him. Needless to say, this puts him at odds with the series’ protagonists at regular intervals. Not only do Gon and his friends fit the bill for what he seeks, but they often take on enemies that prove to be exactly what Hisoka is looking for. And yet, this also serves to make him all the more interesting. Where other villains might strike out at the protagonists and heroes immediately, Hisoka schemes, allies himself with and double-crosses people regularly, always finding the best angle to work in order to reach his goals. He may not be a world-ending anime villain on the level of a Meruem with seismic ambitions, but he’s undeniably the most interesting and brilliant villain in Hunter x Hunter to see at work.
#8. Izaya Orihara (Durarara!!): If you think of a list of top anime villains and this guy isn’t one of the first people who comes to mind, please raise your hands so I can have a few words with you in private with no cameras or eyewitnesses. The crazy thing about Izaya is that he doesn’t even realize he’s evil, and that’s what makes him great. He loves humanity; from the depths of his bones he loves us all. This is why he makes it onto my list; he does progressively more cruel acts against humans, putting people in situations that generally lead to their deaths. He is also a master of parkour and highly skilled with a switchblade in his hand (as evident in the above picture), which he generally only uses in dire situations or fights against Shizuo. In short, I absoulutely love this guy. I thoroughly enjoyed the way he manages to manipulate an entire populous, and that’s why he’s more than earned a spot on my list.
#7. Dio Brando (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure): You might have thought it was someone else, but it was me, Dio! All meme-worthy jokes aside, Dio Brando is unquestionably one of the most iconic anime villains of all time and, thanks to his series’ late-blooming popularity outside of Japan thanks largely to the 2012 anime adaptation, one that still feels modern in our minds. Dio is a tenacious bastard that takes advantage of the generosity of the Joestar family to further his own power, being intolerably dickish to Jonathan by constantly tearing him down, trying to make him look bad in front of his dad, spreading rumors to sully his reputation, and sabotaging his relationships. This escalates into killing his dog (his f***ikg dog of all things!), poisoning and later stabbing his adoptive father (I mean WTF!), and becoming a freakin vampire. Even after decapitation, Dio gets his revenge and sets in motion many of the events of the series, making a formal return in Stardust Crusaders as the main villain once again. With raw ambition taken to the extreme, iconic lines, poses, and outfits, incredible abilities from Aztec mask-induced vampirism and the time-stopping power of The World, Dio’s menacing presence towers over his series and over anime as a whole, which makes him MORE than deserving of a spot on my list.
#6. Light Yagami (Death Note): Yes, he’s a VILLAIN, get over yourselves Light Yagami fanboys! Anyway, there are a number of different adjectives and superlatives that could be used to described the lead character of Death Note: Diabolical, calculating, and determined to make the world in his own image all describe Light who was easily the most clever man in  Death Note, as evidenced by the layers upon layers that composed his elaborate plans.  Light started out as a good kid, doing well in school and heading to a bright career in police work like his father. But when he gets possession of the death note, he begins a remarkable descent into a disturbing mastermind who becomes judge, jury, and executioner for the entire world. But what truly makes Light's character stand out remains complicated throughout the story. His ultimate goal is to make the world a happier, safer place; a noble but perhaps misguided goal. His idealism and nobility still shine through when he doesn’t have the Death Note. When he temporarily relinquishes ownership of the death note to throw L off his trail, Light loses all memory of the death note and he reverts to his normal personality. His sense of morality returns and he shows more compassion for those around him. He even refuses to use Misa Amane to get information out of her when L asks him to. These qualities help to create a complex character who ends up being a detestable villain, yet you still kind of root for him to come out of this story as a winner. Light’s progression through the series is marked by his sheer brilliance. He's got a calculated and strategic mind that would make the great philosopher Machiavelli jealous, and the power of the death note adds a callousness that makes him free to use people in whatever way necessary to accomplish his goals. It’s highly entertaining to see his intricate plans play out. But Light’s messiah-like ego is just as big as his brain, and that arrogance ultimately leads to his tragic downfall.
#5. The Major (Hellsing): An evil Nazi Scientist, I know everyone is just rolling their eyes right now thinking I’m reaching for the low-hanging fruit for this one, but just hear me out here. While he may seem like an obvious pick for a list like this, The Major’s goals, however, are somehow far more unhinged than what may first appear. Despite being an impassioned orator and uncompromising strategist willing to sacrifice countless soldiers, the Major himself had no especial loyalty or passion for the cause of Millennium. His sole obsession is to plunge the world into an unending conflict to the point of endangering not only the lives of others but also his own. The Major’s leadership of Millennium, his decades espousing the genocidal ideology of fascists, and subsequent war against the Hellsing organization, the Vatican, and the entire world serve only as a pretext to satiate his insatiable bloodlust. The Major is one of anime’s most insidious villains, a charismatic, nihilistic sociopath driven purely by his sadomasochistic death wish.
#4. Shou Tucker (Fullmetal Alchemist): Now, you may be recalling that in my previous version of this list, I had Envy listed as my choice as my favorite villain from this show. Well after careful reconsideration, I’ve had to reevaluate my decision and give that spot to this creep, because while Envy’s actions were despicable to a point, they PALE in comparison to this guy! He only really appears in one episode if I remember correctly, yet in that one single episode, he made more of an impact then most villains make in a lifetime, which really says a lot about this guy’s character. What was it that made him so memorable you ask? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that this man transmutaed his own dog and daughter to create a talking chimera, which hadn’t been done before, and for what other reason…all in the name of recognition in the world of alchemy! That mere fact alone made this guy the most hated man in all of anime, the fact that he sacrificed his own family for the sake of fame, with absolutely no hint of remorse, made this guy the definition of an absolute living piece of shit and the only thing worse is how the episode ended, but I won’t spoil that one for you if you haven’t seen it.
#3. Gendo Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion) Up next is a man competing with the likes of Medusa Gorgon for the title of “Anime’s Worst Parent”, Gendo Ikari, please step up to the front of the congregation. Now Gendo is a man who’s list of atrocities throughout Evangelion is far too many to name, but I’m going to try my best to list them here: You have being actively complicit in the premature instigation of a biblical apocalypse, resulting in a near extinction-level event that caused the death of nearly two-thirds of the human population. Emotionally neglecting his own son Shinji estranging himself from him for over twelve years, only to offer him up as a sacrificial pawn in his bid to artificially bootstrap humanity’s ascent into evolutionary godhood so that he could be reunited with his dead wife. Cloning said wife’s DNA into a harem of emotionally dependent albino ingenues who share a dogged infatuation for their creator. And that’s not even mentioning the horrific emotional abuse and mental manipulation he inflicts on Dr. Ritsuko Akagi and her mother Naoko. All-in-all Gendo is proof positive that love not only has the capacity to overcome any obstacle, but sometimes it can truly make monsters out of us all.
#2. Griffith (Berserk): Griffith did nothing wrong; at least, not by his own drives and ambitions. A peasant who grew to become the leader of his own mercenary band, Griffith was a self-driven man who pursued his desires with unparalleled efficiency. No matter the situation or obstacle, he found a way to overcome them, whether that meant facing down an army of thousands or assassinating a country’s leaders. All the while, he amassed a legion of friends and followers who would follow him to hell and back, caring for him as much or more than he cared for them. As a result, they were dragged down with him when his ambitions saw him imprisoned, tortured and maimed. They cared little though, risking life and limb to save him and help him salvage a life with what he had left. That wasn’t enough for Griffith though. When given the option to become a demon and continue the pursuit of his dreams, he whole-heartedly accepted it; even though it came at the cost of sacrificing the lives of each and every one of his friends and allies. But that wasn’t the worst of it, to further spite the early desertion of Guts, Griffith proceeds to rape Casca, Guts’ love interest, in front of him as Guts is held down by demons. So yes, Griffith did nothing wrong by himself. By everyone else though, he did them the worst of injustices, and continues to do so with each breath he takes, all of which makes him a compelling and infuriating villain.
#1. Johan Liebert (Monster): I’ve covered a wide variety of monsters (pun fully intended) on this list, but THIS monster (again, pun FULLY intended) truly takes the cake when it comes to anime villains. A serial killer who would fit in well in any blockbuster film, Monster told the story of a man who had truly become monstrous; a charismatic, intelligent sociopath with no other goal than to kill everyone else in the world. Johan didn't just kill people, he made other people into monsters just like him. This skill of his corruption is first displayed in his youth, when he used stories to convince the other boys in his orphanage to kill all the staff, and each other. Johan is often compared to Light Yagami of Death Note, but the two couldn’t be any more different. Light's fatal (and genius) flaw is his own ego, which leads him to put his own life above all else, even his goal of changing the world. But Johan has never been afraid of death. Quite the opposite, he welcomes and embraces it, being more than willing to put his own life at risk, and one of his signature traits is how he challenges people to shoot him. Another of Jonah’s signature traits is his skills as a masterful manipulator. Where Light and other on this list had to resort to supernatural means to get what they wanted, Johan just used his own wits and knowledge of human nature. He's easily the most frightening villain on this list because he’s the truest to life villain on this list and he exposes the base human nature of his victims and of human society. Monster's remarkable story was almost entirely due to Johan alone, and it’s why he’s #1 on my list.
So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime villains are. See you soon!!!
Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316
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Note
What did you think of the end of The Toll?
!!! TOLL SPOILERS !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION !!!
Scythe Cult:  @honorablescythecurie @honorablescythefaraday @palli-x @book-limerence @lochscinders @a-lonely-tatertot @shellyseashell
bored? send me serotonin please <3
Okay now lets get a couple things out of the way. I haven’t read Toll in a little bit, and it’s taking forever to come from the library. Also, yes I did have it downloaded before, but I kept rereading Faraday’s journal entry when he find out Curie is dead. I know, I’m trash for them but honestly let me have this #curiedeservedbetter2021 #faradaydeservedbetter2021 #curadayforlife
Now that we’ve established that I’m just lonely and so I cling onto healthy (ish) fictional couples for my source of love, let’s proceed.
Things I remember:
 - Rowan and Citra go zoomy zoom into spacey space, but Citra’s deadish because Goddard pulled some shit and so Rowan’s going to wait a couple hundred years for her to wake up
 - Total hottie Ayn Rand shanked Goddard which is honestly a power move you go girl
 - Faraday and Munira unleashed the failsafe, which basically infected a whole bunch of people and now Scythes just kill the infected people so that there’s no suffering
 - Jeri!!! and Greyson!!! Babeys!!! Smol Beans!!! My genderfluid babey with my weird Jesus man it’s a match made by the Thunderhead (because it literally is)
 - Rowan and Citra (who renounced her Scythehood) are going to start a new colony on some random ass planet
Things I don’t remember:
 - Whatever happen with Cirrus
 - Whatever happen with Joel the Jobe Man
 - Whatever happen with Loriana and Munira who are totally in love Shusterman said Sapphic rights 
Okay Akki stfu lets move on:
Okay. I didn’t really like it. I did like Rowan’s sarcasm, but the ending fell a little flat. Compared to the other books’ endings, I didn’t really think it measured up. It was just a bit bland. Here’s why.
The end goal:
Let’s just work our way through the series to show why The Toll just didn’t really work for me.
Scythe - Book 1:
Goal/Climax:
The goal/climax of the book was clear. Citra and Rowan are fighting for the ring. Only one can get it, and the winner has to glean the other. 
The ending:
Citra wins the ring, and is ordained. Instead of actually killing (gleaning) Rowan, she slyly grants him immunity by punching him so that his blood’s DNA would transfer to the database and no Scythe could kill him.  We also got a confession scene where they tell each other they love the other. It ends with Rowan finding out that Faraday did not self-glean.
Why it works:
It is tense. We are watching the two main characters have to either kill the other or be killed. Neither want to. It is clear from their actions throughout that they harbour feelings for each other. This is a high stakes situation. And it flows nicely. We don’t have any unnecessary dialogue/scenes. We don’t have a dumb solution to the problem where a bunch of unnecessary events happen like a character death/romantic scene. They do tell the other that they love them, but the moment is quick and is not the focus of the moment. The focus is on the actual ordainment ceremony and the challenge. The solution directly addresses the main conflict of the book.
Thunderhead - Book 2:
Goal/Climax:
Goddard and Citra (now Anastasia) are presenting their arguments as to who will win the inquest. The inquest was called because Anastasia and Curie needed time to gain more votes in favour of Curie for the position of High Blade. 
The ending:
Anastasia and Curie win the inquest, and Goddard must complete a full new apprenticeship in order to train his new body. Goddard, however, has tricks up his sleeve. He had made a plan prior to the events on Endura to cripple the Grandslayers tower. The plan changes, but works to his favour and destroys the entire island. Curie, in a desperate attempt to save Rowan and Citra, locks them in an airtight chamber that will preserve them so they can be revived. With this sacrifice, Curie is forced to self glean.
“She thrust her blade inward, directly into her heart. She fell to the ground only seconds before the sea would wash over her, but she knew death would wash over her faster. And the blade hurt far less than she imagined it would, which made her smile. She was good. Very, very good.”
-Thunderhead, page 499
Why it works:
*violently screams in my head* I’m good don’t worry
It is a logical ending. If Curie and Anastasia had won the inquest and survived Endura, there would be no need for a third book, unless Shusterman had decided to write a book about Curie being High Blade and Goddard sulking in the shadows and plotting to kill her. That wouldn’t work because I don’t think there is any possible way Curie wouldn’t catch Goddard in two seconds because she’s a boss.
Many people say that Curie should have gotten Rowan to lock her and Anastasia in the vault instead of him. Rowan would have died for Anastasia, it makes sense, but that takes away from the very essence of Curie’s character. She is a truly Honourable Scythe. She knows that Anastasia loves him, and she cares deeply about Anastasia. Letting herself survive would have been completely out of character. She also knows that Anastasia is the future of the Scythedom. While it would be a great help if Curie didn’t die, as well as sparing us emotional trauma, it doesn’t make sense for her character.
This ending also directly “solved” the issue in the book. While the villain won, it was a satisfying ending. Curie is dead, that was a very smart move, because obviously Goddard wouldn’t survive two seconds if she was there. It gave us a good reason for the Thunderhead to disappear.
 *violently screams again* Curie died, yeah, no, I’m okay
The Toll - Book 3: *note that some details may be wrong
Goal/Climax:
Faraday, Rowan, Jeri, Munira, Loriana, Anastasia, Greyson, and Cirrus need to figure out what to with the frozen Tonists, all unknowing that Scythes Goddard and Rand are heading towards the island. They still need to beat him in order to make sure that the non-Scythe population won’t be subject to bias/malice/aforethought/Goddard’s ego. 
The ending:
Rowan, and Citra, who renounced her Scythehood, travel to another planet that can support life with the frozen Tonists, as well as 42 other ships carrying Tonists. Cirrus is copied into 42 different versions in order to save humanity. After being offered Citra’s old ring, Munira (I believe) returns to the Library of Alexandria. Faraday follows through with the failsafe and gleans only the suffering. Greyson and Jeri stay together on the island, and become romantically involved. Scythe Rand is the one who eventually kills Goddard.
Why it DOESN’T work:
Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m just going to go character by character and by the plot.
1. Plot - It just doesn’t make sense. The hero’s solution doesn’t in any way stop Goddard, who is the main villain. We’ve led up to this for a very long time, and Rand is the one who gleans him. If I’m correct, The main characters don’t interact with Goddard for nearly the entire book, save Rowan. The solution, to save humanity by colonizing other planets would, without Rand’s interference, let Goddard wreak his havoc on the world. Only Scythe Faraday and Morrison could truly challenge him, and even then Faraday is old and hasn’t kept his abilities refined, and Morrison is young and inexperienced and wears a denim robe.
2. Rand and Goddard’s Arcs - Rand is the one who kills Goddard. I think that this was a very interesting move, and one that made a lot of sense. Goddard has treated her terribly, it would satisfy her arc of turning against him, as well as giving her a redemption arc that would also avenge Tyger’s death. I think that this is actually a really good arc, were it not for the fact that Citra and Goddard never fought/interacted with each other. If there had been a fight, and Rand had killed him then, that would have been better and would have better satisfied the actual conflict in the book.
3. Rowan and Citra’s Arcs - In terms of Citra’s arc, I think it was emotionally impactful to have her renounce her Scythehood. But Rowan didn’t have as much of a part to play in this book as he could have had. Citra and Goddard also never interacted, which would have been very interesting since he was the direct cause of her mentor and canon mother figure’s death. It would have been an interesting scene that could have played out really well. Based on Discord texts from a conversation I had, I know an reminded that the last two pages of The Toll were incredibly impactful and beautiful. I don’t have much to say about Rowan since I don’t remember much of his role.
4. Jeri, Greyson, Loriana, and Munira’s Arcs - I paired these four together since their doings aren’t very solid after the books. Jeri and Greyson are canonically together, which I think was a great move by Shusterman. Having a main character in a healthy relationship with a canon LGBTQ+ character was incredibly impactful for me, and it satisfied Greyson’s thoughts about how he doesn’t care if Jeri is a boy or a girl, he just loves them. Loriana didn’t have as much of an arc, but Munira did have a small one. Her refusal of the Scythe’s ring let her dispense of her hatred for Scythes and their system, and let her let go of her bitter feelings about not being ordained. 
5. Cirrus’ Arc? - I do not remember enough to speak about Cirrus’ role in the books.
6. Faraday’s Arc - This is probably the one I have the most to say about. I am sorry in advance. Faraday is an emotional character. He has cried canonically twice as far as I can remember, once when he gleaned a child, and the other when he found out Scythe Curie and Anastasia had died on Endura. He is also openly disgusted with Scythe Goddard and his practices, which is why I supremely dislike his arc. It would have been so interesting to see how he would have reacted if Scythe Goddard and the heroes had interacted during the end scene of The Toll. We know he is an Honourable Scythe, like Curie, and upholds the Scythe Commandments, especially after his punishment over his breaking of the 9th commandment “Thou shalt have no spouse nor spawn.” It would have been so. interesting. to see whether Faraday would snap and attack Goddard, if he would try and talk to him, how he would react. Like with Anastasia, he would have been interacting with Curie’s murderer. The potential of that moment! Don’t forget that Faraday is definitely still in love with Curie, based on his elevated heart rate in Thunderhead, and his journal entry in The Toll. I think it would have been so interesting to see him confront her killer.
Summary:
Okay that was much longer than I intended, and I have more thoughts, but it’s 2:40 am and I haven’t slept in a while. So my summary. I liked The Toll. It was a solid book, that had funny moments, jaw dropping moments, heartfelt moments, and emotionally impactful scenes. It was a solid book.
I don’t think it compared as much to the other two, especially Thunderhead. The ending fell a little flat and didn’t carry the arcs as well as I would have liked, but honestly, I still reread it. Shusterman really managed to pull at your emotions.
Because I just beat up on the book for the last couple paragraphs, let me tell you some of my favourite parts of the book.
1. Literally any scene with Possuelo and Anastasia that dynamic was so good and him calling her “meu anjo” literally made my heart do a little happy dance the father-daughter dynamic was what we needed. It also offered a nice levity to tough scenes.
2. The Rowan-Anastasia Reunion. They ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet. Ohhhh my god, they ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet! That was so cute, and as someone who was a strong supporter of platonic Rowan & Anastasia, I honestly loved it.
3. Faraday-Anastasia Reunion. Him dropping to his knees in front her her, her initial confusion as to who he was, and the “perhaps the greatest of all Scythes was kneeling in front of her” part killed me. Their reunion was so well written and heart-wrenching.
4. Anastasia Cries about Curie’s Death. I feel like WatchMojo right now. Anyways, the way her emotions break after trying to repress her sadness over her mentor’s sacrifice for her.
5. Rowan’s sarcasm. Beauty. What a power move to sass the guy who’s going to set you on fire in front of 3000 people.
6. Scythe Constantine and Rand. What a dynamic I wasn’t ready for. Rand’s cool comebacks with Constantine’s sly personality just made for the most amazing dialogue opportunities. 
Thank you anon!
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foxghost · 3 years
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Joyful Reunion, Chapter 56
Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index
Book 2, Chapter 14 (Part 1)
By the next morning, the rain has stopped, and Duan Ling has spent the night only half asleep with a slew of thoughts making a mess in his head, somehow managing to smoothly and peacefully live to see dawn.
Everything that had happened the night prior feels like nothing more than a lifetime lived in a great long dream, and now he begins to think about how he will guarantee his own safety from now on. Lang Junxia is one of the four great assassins; in other words, he must have a martial artist of Wu Du or Chang Liujun’s calibre or higher by his side at all times. He may not be able to stay within arm’s reach, but he has to be at least within their sights.
What about when he’s at his lessons? Duan Ling’s mind quickly runs through all the possible scenarios once he starts thinking. Lang Junxia probably won’t make a move during the day; infiltrating the chancellor’s estate in broad daylight is too lofty of a goal. He’ll probably be fine as long as he’s with Wu Du at night. Then during the day, should he study with Mu Qing as before? It may be a bit risky still, but living will always involve some degree of risk.
After breakfast, Wu Du takes out a new wooden box and heads for the door. Duan Ling hurries after him.
Wu Du looks Duan Ling from the top of his head down to his toes speechlessly, and comes to realise that he’s still scared about that thing from last night.
“Where are you going? I’ll go with you.” Duan Ling takes the wooden box from Wu Du, holds it up with both hands, and looks at him expectantly.
Wu Du can only take Duan Ling along, his mind wandering as they enter the chancellor’s estate. Soon afterwards, he says quietly to Duan Ling, “You heard everything Wuluohou Mu said last night, right?”
Last night Duan Ling’s mind was entirely elsewhere, and none of his attention was on Lang Junxia’s words, but now that he thinks about it, it suddenly occurs to him that something doesn’t feel right.
“He said that a carriage from the chancellor’s estate was stopped outside,” Duan Ling says with a frown.
“Shh. If Chancellor Mu brings it up later, you don’t have to say anything. Let me explain.”
Mu Kuangda is having breakfast, and as though he knew Wu Du was going to come first thing in the morning, he bids the servants serve Wu Du and Duan Ling each a cup of tea, while Chang Liujun sits nearby polishing his sword.
Wu Du takes the box and puts it down in front of Mu Kuangda, opening it towards him. The inside is separated into nine compartments arranged in a three by three grid with a different kind of medicinal ingredient in each. Then he unfolds a sheet of yellow paper and puts that in front of Mu Kuangda also.
“Lord chancellor, the formula you gave me previously used clashing ‘cold’ and ‘heat’ ingredients, and the combination of the ingredients was bizarre. It would have been easy for any ordinary doctor to realise that it’s poisonous, thus drawing unnecessary attention. I’ve revised the formula thrice, swapping seven of the ingredients for four, and then added two others that are usually used in supplements to come up with this. I’ve given it a name — ‘Soup of Nine Souls’.”
“Very good.” Mu Kuangda asks, “What does it do?”
"It looks like it’s for placating frequent dreams, to supplement for a lack of yang energy, and beneficial to overall health. Once it’s taken, the patient will have less dreams. However, it will gradually trigger an imbalance in the heart meridian during the day. You can see the effects after three doses. The patient will be anxious all the time, plagued with worries, and in the long run it’ll wreak havoc on their ability to think clearly for years to come.
“If they in turn take medicinal decoctions for calming the mind, or heart supplements, instead of helping, it’ll give rise to drowsiness, leading to the patient wanting to sleep all the time. And if they keep doing that, it’ll gradually lead to the failure of the heart meridian. If they try to take tonics made of ingredients that trend ‘great heat’ or ‘great dryness’ such as ginseng and cistanche, their body will start to fail after a single dose. Several more of that and it’ll cause haemorrhaging from the eyes, the ears, the nose, and the mouth, leading to death.”
“Very good.” Mu Kuangda is more than satisfied. “Is there an antidote?”
“Castings of the ice silk worm and essence of the snow snake. One can make an antidote out of those two things. The steps to make such an antidote is written on the reverse side of the page.”2
Mu Kuangda reads the formula over several times, a hint of approval plain in his eyes. He nods slowly. “You really do live up to your reputation.”
Wu Du doesn’t say anything and finishes the tea.
Mu Kuangda continues, “Last night the wind was strong and the rain came violent and swift. Did you sleep well, perchance?”
Duan Ling listens between the lines and realises Mu Kuangda must already know. Lang Junxia was able to guess that Mu Kuangda would know, Wu Du also knows that Mu Kuangda knows, only Mu Kuangda himself doesn’t know that they know he knows …
All these twists and turns are truly hard on the brain, but thankfully Lang Junxia has given them that particular reminder so now they’ve gone from a passive position to a place where they can take the initiative. Though whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing is still up for debate.
Chang Liujun watches Duan Ling with smiling eyes. Duan Ling hasn’t come back from his thoughts yet, and assumes that Chang Liujun is likely just rejoicing in Wu Du’s misfortune again.
“I went to the Blossoms Pavilion last night,” Wu Du says casually, “brought the little one to broaden his horizons.”
“Oh?” But Mu Kuangda is smiling already. “Well you must have enjoyed yourselves.”
Duan Ling apprehensively recalls what Lang Junxia told them: If Mu Kuangda brings it up, just tell him the truth. And instantly several ideas flash through his head and it all becomes clear. Lang Junxia is extremely smart, actually; this way, he’s handed the initiative entirely to Wu Du. The fake crown prince wants to bring Wu Du to his side, yet Wu Du is in the enemy’s camp. So what he can do is sell this information to Mu Kuangda in exchange for his trust first, then lie in wait. He’ll be Mu Kuangda’s retainer in name, but in reality he’ll be on the crown prince and Lang Junxia’s side, becoming a double agent — a far more beneficial result.
Of course, such an arrangement is only applicable to Wu Du — because he’s true to his feelings.
“We didn’t really enjoy ourselves.” Wu Du replies, “A lot has happened in the past, and after some thinking I believe I need to give you an explanation, Lord Chancellor.”
Mu Kuangda is quiet for a moment before he nods. Smart people know exactly when to speak and when to stop. Clearly he does not need to say more.
“Lord Chancellor, I can never forget the kindness you showed me by asking for mercy on my behalf.” Wu Du says, finally, “If there’s nothing else, then please excuse me.”
But Mu Kuangda is saying. “Please wait.”
Wu Du is about to get up, but Mu Kuangda is giving Chang Liujun a glance, and Chang Liujun produces a letter.
“I may need to ask you to do something else for me,” Mu Kuangda continues, “First take a look at this letter.”
Duan Ling wants to see it, but he doesn’t dare peek — even though he’s extremely curious.
Mu Kuangda turns to him. “Wang Shan, since you’re with the young master everyday, even if you haven’t become one of my aides, your position is not far from one. There’s no need to act like you’re treading on eggshells. A young man should say what he ought to say, and not act too far beyond his years.”
Duan Ling knows that Mu Kuangda is clearly treating him as one of his own because Wu Du has declared where he stands. Duan Ling hasten to answer respectfully, “Certainly.”
Wu Du opens the letter and finds an army dispatch. There’s no address, and no signature; it contains some proof of military spending as well as weaponry held in reserve, training plans over the winter, as well as an account of using fourteen thousand and eight hundred taels of silver to purchase Ferghana3 warhorses from Xiliang.
“Can you tell whose handwriting this is?” Mu Kuangda asks.
“It’s Bian Lingbai’s handwriting.” Wu Du says, “A general stationed in Tongguan. Pacification Commissioner of Guanxi.”4
“Correct.”
Duan Ling doesn’t know who that is, so he doesn’t say anything. Why is Mu Kuangda suddenly showing Wu Du a letter? Does he want to send him to kill someone?
“Bian Lingbai has served in the army thirteen years.” Mu Kuangda says, “He started his career in Shandong5, and he’s had more than twenty military engagements with Liao, both big and small, with a mixed record of wins and losses. When the Yelüs seized Shangzi, Bian Lingbai attacked the Khitan army’s rear formation by surprise and was decorated for his service. After the capital was relocated to Xichuan, he was made Commander-in-Chief of the Shandong army. Seven years ago, he joined hands with the General of Tiger’s Might6 Han Bin, and turned against the late emperor at Mount Jiangjun to seize the military from him.”
“Kill him?” Wu Du says offhandedly.
Mu Kuangda doesn’t say anything, and takes another sip of tea. Sunlight slants though the window panes at his back.
“While the late emperor did not bother to punish those under Zhao Kui’s command,” Mu Kuangda says, “I cannot afford to do the same. This man has been colluding with Xiliang for a long time — buying horses, reinforcing his troops, increasing the size of his army without explicit approval. The proof is the letter in your hand. It’s a record of his secretly stockpiling armaments and embezzling military funds to buy warhorses from the Tangut.”
“If we don’t put an end to him now, given enough time he may prove a challenge to the central government, and become hard to control.”
When lives are involved, Mu Kuangda has always been exceedingly prudent.
“I got it. I’ll head out over the next few days.”
Duan Ling thinks, that’s not good. If you’re heading out, what am I supposed to do?
Mu Kuangda says, “In addition to killing him you must also gather proof that he’s attempting to seek independence.”
Wu Du furrows his brows slightly, and does not answer.
“Wu Du.” Mu Kuangda says, “Killing cannot be the only thing you know how to do.”
Mu Kuangda gets up and paces to the veranda. A soft summer breeze brushes by, setting the wind chimes to a light clinking.
Wu Du says, “I’ve met Bian Lingbai once. He’s a highly ambitious man. I share at least part of the blame in General Zhao’s death; he’s not about to have a pleasant conversation with me — he’s liable to pull a knife on me before we even get the chance to sit down.”
“You know how to disguise yourself, no?” Chang Liujun interjects suddenly.
"A disguise is only good for lying low. If I want to collect evidence that he’s colluding with Tangut and seeking independence, then I’ll have to talk to him. Speech, mannerisms — these are hard things to imitate for long.”
Mu Kuangda falls into a thoughtful silence.
“There is another way.” Wu Du says, “I can arrest him, interrogate the details out of him, and then hand him over to you, Lord Chancellor. Whether the testimony turns out to be a confession under duress or the truth, well that isn’t any of my business.”
“That won’t do.” Mu Kuangda shakes his head slowly. “His Majesty will spare this man’s life, that’s for certain. Even if we have conclusive evidence, he’ll be banished to a remote army post and exiled at most, leaving him the chance to make a comeback. What I want is for him to die beneath Tongguan without making a splash — not to have him killed with great fanfare, giving his army a chance to mutiny.”
“What if I go?” Duan Ling says suddenly.
The room falls quiet at once. Duan Ling knows that what he said is utterly absurd, but he has no other alternative. As soon as Wu Du leaves, his own insignificant little life may as well be a slice of meat on a chopping board, and Lang Junxia can slice him up however he likes.
“You?” Wu Du sounds like he’s just heard the most fantastical story in the world, and he says to Duan Ling, “I’m going there to kill someone!”
Mu Kuangda though, seems rather surprised. He gives Duan Ling a glance and says, “Truly, you never cease to amaze. Let him speak. See what he comes up with.”
“Um … I don’t have any concrete ideas, for now. I’ll have to get there first. It’s outside Tongguan, right? If Wu Du pretends he’s part of my … household? Maybe General Bian wouldn’t suspect me if I’m the one to approach him?”
Mu Kuangda falls quiet once more. A furrow appears between Wu Du’s brows and he’s about to speak up to stop Duan Ling, but he catches Duan Ling staring at him imploringly.
“That’s feasible.” With that reminder from Duan Ling, Mu Kuangda seems to have figured out something. “Last year, Bian Lingbai was transferred back to Tongguan from Mount Jiangjun, and it’s getting close to the anniversary of Zhao Kui’s death. What identity can you use to see him with though?”
Speaking, Mu Kuangda turns to Duan Ling, who grows somewhat fearful beneath his gaze lest he gets a eureka moment at some point and notices a hint in his features and grows suspicious. But right now he has no other option but to make this gamble, knowing that Mu Kuangda is only scrutinising him because he’s trying to come up with a suitable identity.
“You can’t be Zhao Kui’s son.” Mu Kuangda mumbles to himself. “Zhao Kui had three sons and one daughter, and they were all beheaded. What about an adoptive son? Wu Du, what do you think? Would baiting him into committing treason fish out what we want?”
Baiting him into committing treason is truly an extremely shrewd move.
“But how are we going to explain why Wu Du’s going there?” Duan Ling asks.
“That won’t be a problem. All I have to do is write a letter appointing Wu Du to investigate the whereabouts of the sword of the realm, the Zhenshanhe. Meanwhile Wu Du will use this as an opportunity to meet with Bian Lingbai. That’s all it’ll take for Bian Lingbai to believe it.”
Wu Du says, “Zhao Kui has a nephew named Zhao Rong, and his father Zhao Pu was a deputy captain of the coast guard under the Shandong jurisdiction. Zhao Pu was shot and killed by an arrow during a pirate7 raid four years ago, and Zhao Rong was captured and drowned. But not many people know that, as Zhao Kui was the only one who received news of his nephew’s death, so we can get in contact with Bian Lingbai under this name.”
“That will work.” Mu Kuangda says, “Let me think about this some more, and see if I can come up with a way that can accomplish all of our goals in one fell swoop. Go home for now, and wait for me to get everything ready.”
I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎
The ingredients mentioned before these ‘ice silk worm’ and ‘snow snake’ stuff are real ingredients. The worm and snake stuff is fictional, though not new, in wuxia. ↩︎
Ferghana horse. ↩︎
Guanxi means “areas west of the gates/passes”, or areas west of Tongguan, along the western border. ↩︎
The original text used Guandong, which meant “east of the gates”, those gates being the major gates along the Great Wall such as Yubiguan. But since that’s a meaningless location that can’t be found on a map, I changed it to Shandong as that’s the area they’re referring to. ↩︎
Incidentally, this was also Zhao Yun’s nickname under Liu Bei. Historically there were three Generals of Tiger’s Might during the three kingdoms period. ↩︎
The Chinese word Wokou were often translated to Japanese pirates, and the word itself literally meant “dwarf pirates”, but the ethnicity of these pirates varied over time. You can basically think of the word wokou as simply “pirate”, in the same way that typhoon is just a word for hurricanes when they happen in the Pacific/Indian Ocean. ↩︎
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sadcxzcf · 3 years
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indigosprite · 3 years
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Kokuyo Gang playlist
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I might have been wondering what Mukuro was listening to ... it’s the story of them.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0suBJCS45RNDb3HG3Hm5P3?si=AxrMLwgzQcixl8yn3eNP7g
1. Adventure time theme: Mukuros “shall we go together” when he saves Ken and Chiksua with his massacre of their Mafia Family.
2. Freaks: Mukuro is telling them what they’ll be in the world as he plots his revenge. They finally enter the real world as Freaks, although they’re the ones wronged people still hunt them because of their affiliation. He reclaims the insult and promisies himself victory.
3. Broken: They find Balance and bliss in their pain amongst eachother. This is their unspoken bond. The original trio. they are each others people, although they’d never express this. Their Brotherhood is stronger and more valuable than anything else even to Mukuro. They’re happy with what’s become of them so far.
4. Sweater weather : This is Mukuro, he’s reflecting on his life with Ken and Chiksua and the small intricacies of their relationships. It’s platonic and almost fraternal. Despite this being a song about a romantic relationship this is the most intense feeling of love he has in his life this song captures that. On the flip side this is how Ken and Chiksua view Mukuro. They’re enamored and grateful , he’s like the guy asking the loser to dance at a party to make them feel better. Also Mukuro is a little. You know.
5. Train wreck: this is their time apart from one another after Mukuro has let himself get captured by vindice. Mukuro is depressed ( as told by his drama CD he sees no light in the world. He’s accepted this though) but he’s left with his thoughts. He wants to see them again. Ken and Chiksua miss him miserably, (this song at this point in time represents chromes hidden Bullet chapter ) this is around the time Mukuro is seeking out chrome to pull him out.
6. Famous last words: the band is back together even though it’s not in the flesh for Mukuro. Mukuro has a newfound light in his eye, he’s determined more than ever to reach his goal with these people beside him and Tsuna as his target. They’re wreaking havoc across the mafia unafraid of being captured again because they’re fighting for something bigger than them. Also Mukuro wants to live and it’s the first time he’s felt this in a while. He’s improved since Lancia asked if he’s mad at the mafia or exhausted that his soul can’t rest in all his lifetimes filled with nothing but murder and abuse. This time his soul would rest happily.
7. 1-800-Close your eyes : The gang has been busy for ten years with chrome as their Mukuro. They’re just as violent and ruthless as before trying to right the mafia worlds wrongs. Mukuro is orchestrating this madness in his cell happily. Ken and Chiksua are happy to be close to having him back again.
8. Kings Park: this is how they all see the world. They have always been entangled with the sins of the world. At first unintentional but now it consumes them even though they won’t admit how it gets to them and Mukuro won’t admit that sometimes he wishes he still believed in this world and saved it instead of trying to take it over. They’re obsessed with tragedy but in the end , they want forgiveness for what’s been done. They know this won’t come but that’s okay this is more about coming to terms with what they actually want. They want peace but they also want people to pay for what happened and what keeps happening.
9. Never ever getting rid of me : Their group is complete, this is a more whimsical side of them. The side that’s still just teenagers. (Based in the Very last arc and after) They are promising to the Vongola that they’ll never be that far away now that Mukuro has had a weird realization. He doesn’t mind being the mist guardian but he will always fight for what he believes in his way. Although Mukuro isn’t suddenly a good guy his agenda has taken a turn that no longer makes him an enemy much like Byakuran. They couldn’t take over but they are still on a mission. He has his own matters to tend to and in the future him if Tsuna does as promised their goals will align and he will be a loyal friend.
10. Angels and demons : they’re back together all of them in the flesh. This is where my headcanons come in. They somewhat have a more relaxed life with a much more feisable goal , they bring justice to a world in a way vindice doesn’t the mafia never respected them so they give fuck all about their rules. They’re on a break now that their futures have been given back to them. They are back to being rambunctious rascals with new ambitions that lead them down a gentler path still filled with murder and schemes but against the right people. Mukuro won’t make the mistake he made with Lancia’s family now. He won’t end up like the future Byakuran at the hand of another nice family that has somewhat taken him in yet again.
11. Ride: They’re headed in a new direction and they’re all at peace for once in their life. They, for once are as normal as anyone could be having been through what they had. In this time they find what it is they want from this which ultimately is to repay Mukuro for the deed he did. Ken and Chiksua realize Mukuro hadn’t saved their lives for them to be subordinates. He wanted them to have normal lives outside of the mafia. He never expressed a dire need for them to achieve his one goal but because they followed he did what he could to watch over them. But between the lines he tried to leave them alone enough to be kids while he slaughtered grown men.
12. lost boy: this shift in morale brings them back to when they were all saved by Mukuro and what their life has been so far , what Mukuro means to them. He is home, their Peter Pan. Although it might upset him that they chose to follow him in this life (aside from chrome. He knows he took her in and essentially promised her a home in his life) it’s something they can’t give up, this life isn’t the picture perfect one he wanted for them but it’s what they want. They wouldn’t be happy without what they’ve built. This is them coming to terms with and accepting the life they’ve lived albeit confusing and painful at times. It’s home. They all want to be his lost boys. He never meant to be a prophet the responsibility eats away at him makes him consider his actions for the wrong reasons but still.
13. Violent Crimes: Mukuro is reflecting on what he’s given them over time. He’s worrying about whether he saved them or just put them in a parallel lifestyle that’s no better. He doesn’t want them to feel how he feels (like there is no light). Kanye’s verse, rather than worrying about daughters growing up in this society it’s more about Ken and Chiksua and chrome who aren’t like him mentally or physically trying to live this life beside him. He knows they live solely for him and it’s scary at times because he’s picked his carnage filled path already. He doesn’t want them to not see light and offer more pain. Don’t grow up like he did knowing the truths of the world before he could find light in it on his own. His version of light is darkness. Theirs still have a chance. Knowing he is the only one that can prevent this he alters his path a little taking in what’s he’s learned about the world through fighting alongside Tsuna and Dino against real evil. They won’t be your best friends but his family will not be a stain like his previous family.
Holy shit this was long. And nobody will ever read it but I needed to do this for the next person who gets obsessed with them ten years from now and looks for think pieces to consume about them.
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Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)
As always, thanks for being here my friends. There’s definitely more nuanced discussion of this show, but I’m here for the vibes. Anyways, here’s my thoughts on Episode 3 of Loki. Bear in mind I hadn’t watched episode 4 before I wrote the review for 3. No hate on anyone/thing, it’s all my opinion.
Episode 3: LAMENTIS
Pre-title scene
I rioted when I heard Hayley’s voice. It’s a win for all of us.
C-20! Sylvie!
C-20’s lil dance was adorable. I love her.
I want Sylvie’s tie dye.
Is that Ralph Bohner?
The same place, but at night. Coincidence? I think not.
Sylvie’s powers have limits. She can’t search someone’s mind and take information, she needs them to willingly tell her though she can use her powers to do that.
TVA
Sylvie’s experienced. Always tie your hair into a bun before a fight.
Her music is nothing like what we’ve heard previously. It’s the Sylvie show folks.
The mural on the left side of the hall is the one from the credits scene.
The plaque above the elevators says ‘FOR ALL TIME ALWAYS’.
Even in the mural on the right side, the Time Keepers aren’t equal, the middle one takes up the most space.
Ravonna!
I love how their movements are similar. The head-snap-hair-flip combo is nearly identical, reflecting how they are the same person to some extent.
2077 Lamentis - 1
“Get off my leg!” SiblingTM energy.
“Goodbye, variant.” She sure has the Loki drama.
I finally remembered it’s called a TemPad. Rip.
“Don’t ever call me that.”
“Tech savvy?”
That’s so Ragnarok.
I love the music as we pan up to the planet. It’s the familiar, anxiety-inducing ticking for me lads.
“You idiot! This is Lamentis - 1.”
“I don’t know what that means!”
My siblings when I can’t restart the router (every country has an AT&T).
I like that it’s a moon that’s inhabited. It’s nearly always the planet, still not great for the people on it.
That slide to get under the dump truck was so smooth.
“So we’re a team now?” Jesus Loki needs friends. Probably a good therapist too.
“Didn’t need your help!”
“You’re so weird!”
I like the way Tom runs. Don’t know why. Just do.
Sidenote, my favourite running form is Chris Evans’.
Sylvie’s magic flickered so I genuinely think the enchantment didn’t work.
“Well then I’ll cut it out.” I like the way she says that. I am questioning so many things rn.
“Just because I have to work with you doesn’t mean I wanna hear your voice.” It’s ironic since they spend so much time talking about themselves.
“Alright, well, slow down… Variant.” They really play off each other’s egos to find weaknesses.
“You don’t know what you want.” Sylvie’s more straightforward in everything she does. She efficiently points out Loki’s flaws but when it comes to a goal, she’s meticulous.
“...just walk away.” Loki stops walking, but Sylvie does walk away. There is distance between them (for now).
I’ve had experience with mining towns like this one and whilst they weren’t so out-of-this-world (ya know) there is a tendency for rural and isolated communities to struggle with old/not maintained infrastructure. This is not everywhere, but it’s not uncommon from what I know. Even though these towns are a source of wealth, there isn’t distribution of the money and it’s a grim reality that’s being shown. I appreciate it.
The shot of them walking past a slab of that planet towards the hut is incredible. Wow.
The person in there is just waiting for their death. I’m going to be addressing a lot of the harsh realities in this episode folks so it won’t be so cheerful.
I understand that people weren’t so happy with this being a filler episode, but I think they got it right. It’s strange that a literal planet-moon collision doesn’t bring the tension that the hurricane did in the last ep, but by having an atmosphere that wasn't so omnius, they conveyed (to me at least) that hope was already lost. In the Roxxcart Disaster, the people believed that it wasn’t going to be the end. There’s desperation on Lamentis - 1 but as Sylvie said, the collapse of society occurs. That’s a large group of people realising that class divides will cause slaughter. It’s greed portrayed in two different ways, one being the integration of excessive capitalism into society, the other being social structure based on oppression. Not everyone’s reading into Loki like this but it’s a change from how Marvel usually approaches conflict.
We learnt about the characters and whilst I’m not a fan of when a plot line is moot (my bet is that Loki and Sylvie will be rescued next ep, making all the attempts to get off Lamentis - 1 pointless), it’s necessary for the characters to develop. The way Loki and Sylvie end up on Lamentis - 1 makes sense and the plot doesn’t feel forced.
“It’s remarkable that you made it as far as you did.”
Devils is recurring in this episode. Maybe this has implications on future episodes?
“Which one was that, diplomacy?” Why are their interactions so funny?
I don’t think I need to comment on the significance of the train station scene.
I would like to acknowledge that though this is good writing that’s relevant in the time it was released, we shouldn’t forget it’s coming from large corporations who aren’t perfect.
How do they just walk past the line?
The people who snitched were right in front of them.
Did the cat get Loki’s silvertongue? That was the most graceless lying I’ve ever seen.
Sylvie not sitting with her back to a door makes sense, but why won’t Loki go backwards on a train? They both have little quirks.
“That’s not a plan. That’s just doing a thing.” Loki went to the Thor school of planning, it’s Get Help all over again.
Loki’s exaggerated nods at the other guards lol.
Sylvie growls whenever she’s mad, it’s hilarious.
The close ups of their faces when the conversation gets personal and isn’t just trading jabs is great for conveying the authenticity of their answers.
Loki not pressing Sylvie when she clearly didn’t want to talk about what happened to her mother is something I appreciated.
Here’s to Tom for having to do magic for more than 10 years now. He’s so serious, I can only imagine how funny it is without the effects.
“Well she did.” Yeesh, has Loki gotten time to grieve?
Sylvie is genuinely impressive.
“Pity the old woman chose to die.”
“She was in love.”
I don’t quite understand what they were talking about then, I guess we’ll find out later?
Loki, why are you so unnecessarily dramatic?
I laughed. Who am I kidding, they’re dorks and I love them.
Loki is trying to find out anything, anyone who could be used against Sylvie.
Here’s to the postman, they’re probably dead but we appreciate Sylvie’s happiness anyways.
“A bit of both. I suspect the same as you.” AND THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE IN REPRESENTATION FOLKS!
Let’s just take our scraps and be happy, eh? It made my week.
They both need real relationships of any kind, guys.
“Love is… uh, something I might have to have another drink to think about.” Me whenever anyone asks me about my love life.
“You do realise… ...a civilisation’s only hope?” I think this was Sylvie’s way of making sure Loki’s (albeit grey) morals and drinking habits don’t interrupt her plan.
The train sure gives me Snowpiercer vibes.
Do I have to talk about Drunk Loki?
Tom’s singing voice is lovely.
Sylvie’s eyes shift nervously to the door and then back to Loki. She’s initially tense but she relaxes slightly though she knows she’s gonna have to clean up the mess.
“Nobody cares. It’s the end of the world.” Again, Loki’s headspace is one where existence is futile.
The green walls contrast the purple lighting nicely.
You can see plants (?) from the outside if you look out the windows. Talk about attention to detail.
Bruh what is the dagger about? Drunk Loki’s a comedic genius.
The descending notes in the background of Loki’s fireworks.
Sylvie’s smile when she goes to attack is animalistic. I’d like to see her character explored more in terms of how she views violence.
YEET.
“You’re right. I’m a god.” Loki’s defense mechanism is to state that his motives are above the understanding of others.
“You’re a clown.” Sylvie tells it as it is.
Loki and Sylvie’s reactions to the TVA contrast the most here. Sylvie is potentially motivated by vengeance or a need for revenge whilst Loki has resigned to numbing the pain (for now at least) as he comes to terms with his reality. The question of what drives you is so important for these characters, I’m excited to see whether they’ll find a common ground and wreak havoc on the sacred timeline.
Loki and Sylvie both struggle with communicating in a healthy way. Sylvie calls him out on his directionlessness and Loki tells her what may be the harsh reality of her plan. Neither of them are willing to accept it, but there’s potential for a strong bond if they do.
Sylvie’s scream lmao.
I love the colour of Loki’s pants.
Problem? Solution! Do thing! Is Sylvie’s method of thinking when all is lost.
Gosh I love the shots in this episode.
“That’s a pretty good life.” Sylvie’s definitely not lived as a royal, or not from what she remembers.
“I just need to know if I can trust you.” Sylvie giving up how she enchants people is an olive branch because as useful as the things that Loki told her may have been for manipulation, they both know the importance of her upper hand. But she only relents once Loki doesn’t have the TemPad. Later, when she asks whether she can trust Loki, it’s more of a reassurance because he’s already been vulnerable around her.
The actor’s body language and facial expressions are incredible. Loki’s eyebrow’s furrow slightly when Sylvie mentions C-20’s mind but Tom takes a second for the information to be processed rather than instantly reacting to Sophia’s next line. She does the same when Loki talks about the TVA workers being created. What skilled people they are.
The city is a wonderful piece of set design.
“We do, and you can.” They step into the light, neither of them have tunnel vision and are able to see a bigger picture.
“They’re gonna let these people die.” This show explores a side of Loki we haven’t seen before, his morality and compassion. He has grey areas that could be explored in the next season. It also points back to how Sylvie and Loki differ in their view of others. I think this is partially because of their childhoods. Loki was raised as a prince and cared about his people, but Sylvie doesn’t share that perspective (“...they usually survive”), maybe because of her past. Hopefully in the upcoming episodes we’ll get a bit more of her backstory.
That sequence is beyond words. The constantly rotating and revolving camera really hammers home that it’s a disorienting fight for their lives at the end of the world. I’m speechless, just watch it.
The music in that blue-purple-pink club was banging tho.
Loki and Sylvie’s posture, facial expression and general body movement is similar. The variant point is hammered home here.
It’s interesting how Loki is in shock/denial of the Ark being destroyed whereas Sylvie immediately leaves.
The end music of this episode is beautiful. I love how it all builds to leave us on the soft tones of Dark Moon.
No one’s interested, but my mum and I bonded over the Jim Reeves version of this song and the Bonnie Guitar one.
Ep 3 review
Short episode with not much going on other than character development. However, if the first two were anything to go by, this episode will have greater implications on the plot. The pacing of this show is a bit strange, but we may see this change in the next season.
I mentioned previously that it would be a shame if the entire plot of this episode was made irrelevant by how they get off Lamentis - 1 next ep. This show has been really good at keeping us on our toes with the writing so they probably won’t take turns that have been speculated.
Happy mid-season guys! The following two episodes were apparently Tom’s favourites so we can expect some mayhem up ahead. See you next time!
Here's the link to my Ep 2 review
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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years
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November 1: Mad Women, Writer’s Commentary
Now that Chopped reveals are complete, I thought I’d write down some thoughts on the writing process for my fics, before I forget them entirely.
I’ll start with Mad Women, the first one I wrote. Technically, it was my second idea. But they came pretty close together, both originating the first night the tropes were revealed. I was excited to sit in bed, read through the themes-and-tropes document, make some vague notes, and brainstorm, as I always am.
The first even semi-concrete idea was for the fic that would later become The Wanheda Tape, but I was also attracted to the Sci Fi theme and the idea of doing Horror in Space. I’ve also long loved the image of Mad Scientist Raven, and since that was one of the tropes, it seemed like a great opportunity. Of course, that was only one trope, and one image. So I had to build a whole fic around that.
Just as I was going to sleep, I had another idea, a scene that came to me fully formed but bizarre as I was already half-dreaming: Murphy and Clarke in the cafeteria of a space ship, Murphy realizing with slowly-dawning horror that Clarke is not Clarke at all. I found it very scary myself, although its form then wasn’t quite its form in the final version: I think Clarke’s eyes turned black and some kinda black smoke-tentacle came out of her sleeve or something lol. Something that would have read as funny if I’d actually written it.
Nevertheless, I liked the scene in general. But at the point when I went to sleep I really only had these two disconnected concepts: possessed alien!Clarke reveals herself to Murphy; Raven is a mad scientist. I didn’t have many great ideas as to how to connect them, and so I initially thought that The Wanheda Tape, which at least had the outline of a complete narrative (Blair Witch + frame story) would be easier.
Then I talked through it with my mom and did some brainstorming with her, and she convinced me that Mad Women might be simpler--I think she was thinking about how it didn’t have a frame, which was an intimidating aspect of my other idea. Or she just liked it better. At any rate, I decided to pursue the science fiction concept.
The tricky thing was building a bridge between the two concepts. I had a variety of ideas for the two additional tropes--I knew that once Murphy found out Clarke wasn’t Clarke, she’d immediately be a threat to him, he’d be running from her, searching out help, etc., so dead communication device seemed obvious. And ‘cliffhanger’ was also on my initial brainstorm list. I was also considering ‘the fright beside you’ but I didn’t think I could quite make that work, and I didn’t really need it.
Forming a narrative that included both mad scientist and alien was hard, though. I liked the idea of them being thematically linked: both the alien and Raven are messing with something they shouldn’t out of a desperation to restore life/return to their loved ones or return their loved ones to them. They have similar desires and similar attitudes and they both wreak havoc as a result. (Admittedly, Raven’s havoc comes after the cliffhanger...but there is implied havoc imo.)
But how to connect them on a plot level? I obsessed a lot about this: why does Raven need tech to do what the alien did so easily? And why does she have to build it from scratch? Because humans aren’t aliens? But then if the aliens don’t need tech to move their non-corporeal selves to a new body, why do the components of such a machine even exist? I won’t honestly say I solved these problems, so much as I figured exact answers weren’t necessary for my goal: a decently short and simple narrative, with a strong creepy feel. The aliens are mostly mysterious in the fic and that’s okay. In some sense, the more inexplicable they are, the more alien they feel, and the better the overall mood.
What was important to me, and I think this was an idea that came from my mom originally, was to have Raven and the alien in on it together. Raven either didn’t stop or actively helped the alien possess Clarke, with the the promise that the alien would give up the body when she returned home, and because the alien promised her the raw material to potentially bring back Finn. Again, how or why this material exists isn’t super important, but I think it goes something like this: the aliens can exist in a non-corporeal state, but they need bodies to do things like physical work or travel. Thus they have technology that can resurrect dead tissue, so that their physical forms can exist as long as their...spirit essences. The physical breaks down before the spirit, perhaps, or is more easily damaged. The tech does not re-create the soul, and it wasn’t meant for humans, so what Raven is messing with is not for her. It won’t bring back who Finn is, and it will have unforeseen consequences when used on Earth material (the incredibly hungry, weirdly powerful, quickly growing plants). But she doesn’t care, and the alien doesn’t care either, because she’s using Raven to get what she wants: vessels (in the form of both Clarke’s body and the ship) to get back home.
(While this fic is pretty much the opposite of Star Trek in terms of aesthetic, I will say that the idea of a non-corporeal alien taking on a human body temporarily comes from the excellent and underrated TOS episode, Return to Tomorrow.)
The second and even more difficult problem, which caused me an embarrassing amount of stress given how easily it was solved, was: how to anger the alien. I knew that everything would fall apart when Murphy realized who Clarke was, and that at the point of his realization, all of his companions would be immobilized already in some way. But I also knew that the status quo we enter in scene one would include Clarke already possessed. So why does the status quo break? Why is she no active threat to them in one scene and then suddenly chasing Murphy down the halls in the next?
So this is like Storytelling 101, honestly. She’s not a threat when she and the ship’s crew have the same goal, or at least when the crew has no reason to actively thwart her goal in any way. Hence, the distress call from the Arkadia: a reason for Murphy et. al. to tell the alien no, we’re turning the ship around now. Now actually threatened, the alien retaliates, immobilizing the crew however she needs to in order to regain control of the vessel. Pretty simple!
Originally, I wasn’t going to include Bellamy in this fic, because my instinct was he would see something wrong with Clarke too quickly. But my mom convinced me that their close relationship would actually be more of a reason for Bellamy NOT to figure it out. He sees what he wants to see. He’s vulnerable to manipulation because of his feelings. I was convinced, and added him in. And honestly, it was genius of her, because having Bellamy and Bellarke created a parallel with Murphy and Murven that I hadn’t initially seen: both men have all the evidence they need to see something is deeply wrong with the women they love, but also all the motivation to NOT see it, to not want to see it.
I also knew that alien!Clarke would have to kill or disable Bellamy, and I thought I might get a lot of shit for writing anything in which a person resembling Clarke caused harm to Bellamy, given...the actual canon (”canon”). So first I decided no one was going to die because I am a WIMP and I can’t do that. And second, I decided to include a ‘fuck you JRoth’ line where Bellamy says his big clue that Clarke wasn’t Clarke was that she tried to kill him--something we all know Clarke would not do! I don’t know if that came off lol but that’s what I was going for.
Before I settled on Bellamy, I was going to have the rest of the crew be Octavia, Jasper, and Monty. I knew Murphy needed someone else to talk to, for exposition purposes early on, and O an Jonty are a good dynamic. But when I added Bellamy, I really didn’t need anyone besides Octavia--5 people in the first scene, turning into 4 people to dispose of later, would have been too much. I’d already decided that Raven was going to experiment on Monty’s plants (because a mad scientist needs to start on non-human living things before she moves on to the human-experimentation stage, but I also, again, I am a wimp, and didn’t want to imply Raven was killing rabbits or whatever), which made me hesitate briefly to cut Monty. But then I realized I didn’t need to show Monty at all to get his plants on the ship, and thus the passing reference to bootleggers entered the story.
Even though the Clarke and Murphy revelation scene came to me early, I didn’t actually know what would tip him off that Clarke wasn’t Clarke until I was literally writing the scene. Like I sat down to write that scene and didn’t know, and just let it come together as it would. I’d toyed with her not knowing something about the ship, but the thing is, it had to be a human factor she was missing--first because alien!Clarke has been practically living in the ship’s archives, learning everything about the ship and all the general stuff that allows her to pass most of the time for a human. But she doesn’t know Clarke’s personal life. So it makes more sense that she would get tripped up on Clarke’s family. And second, it’s more emotionally resonant: of course a Clarke who doesn’t care about her own mother, her own people, can’t really be Clarke! It also allowed me to reference the past Memori again, which I liked doing.
I didn’t initially have a concrete reason for picking Clarke to be possessed--that was just the image that came to me, of Clarke and Murphy, plus it worked with her being the captain of the ship. I was about halfway through writing when I realized I’d uh accidentally re-written S6 with the Josephine-possession story line. In my defense, I didn’t watch S6 lol. But really it just made it more fitting!
As I mentioned, this fic was very slightly TOS inspired, because I’ve been watching so much of it lately. Both the alien-possession, and the lines about “haunted space” or space legends are from Star Trek. But obviously I wanted the exact opposite aesthetic, so I reached for Wolf 359, a podcast I was listening to over the summer while working on a boring, brainless project at work. There’s really no connection between the two, but the grungy, dark space station with the limited staff was the closest aesthetic I could draw from to overpower the shiny-sci-fi aesthetic that’s dominant in my mind because of TOS. I very briefly toyed with the idea of including a character who was an AI but that really wouldn’t have added anything to the story lol.
...And I think that’s it!
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sireneia · 4 years
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tell me ur stahl biases,,, i need 2 know for reasons 👀🍷
ship biases // aaron here’s how stahl met ur second parent—
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1. stahl / miriel - i invalidate myself with this because this is 100% first run bias but like. to an EXCESSIVE DEGREE. it’s watching their support chain that convinced me to try fire emblem as a franchise at all actually so i guess you can say i almost feel indebted to them LOL. but i just found their supports lighthearted and charming! i think miriel’s all-too serious fascination with him ( even if one might find the reason to be a little insulting, miriel means no harm ) played off of stahl’s people pleasing attitude is fun to watch and i genuinely think he would love to help her as an assistant and make her life easier. miriel is a smart gal who can do great things, and stahl would absolutely marvel at all her discoveries and advancements! i think his background with his family apothecary business could also be a good compliment in having him familiarize himself with her work, and beyond that, the two iirc are implied to interact with one another when they’re first introduced in-game so there’s basis to believe they are around one another more than just merely in their supports!
2. stahl / tharja - ok this is the one i choose as my fav when you ask me to actually use my head. stahl is always looking out for others, and seeing tharja get pleasantly surprised by how pure his concern is for others is really nice imo! they can have sun and moon symbolism pretty easily which is just the cherry on top of the sundae. i think it’s also fun to see him imply or just straight up say his growing attraction to her, feeling good in being honest especially as a strong contrast to how in his past he held his tongue on his feelings to the previous girl he liked because he thought it was for the better. interacting with tharja, though it wasn’t her intention to do this, teaches stahl to go for his wishes more often and to be free to say things, even if at first he wasn’t a fan of the situation of being forced to be completely honest all the time. stahl is just so wholesome, and i love to see him with tharja. they are literally the meme that’s like “someone will die” “of fun!”
bonus in that i think noire looks really cute with stahl’s hair color and she’s already wearing green like him anyhow. also once again, i think stahl’s family bg as an apothecary can help him spend more time with tharja and helping her with her work!
3. stahl / robin - yet another instance of this depends upon the portrayal but i’m going based solely off of the two canon robins and i think stahl works with either of them! stahl is always looking out for others, so it’s nice to see someone else take notice of stahl and try and pamper him instead. their supports are legitimately sweet and it’s really nice to see this guy who thinks of himself as terribly mediocre end up with someone that basically everyone in the army looks to. and, well, with that much burden on robin’s shoulders, they still will need someone to help look after them too anyway and that’s what stahl likes doing best!
also extra angst but (: in the doomed timeline where robin gets possessed by grima and stahl who was once known for always caring after others and fell for the one person who looked after him is now known as the spouse of the person who wreaked havoc and ruin over everyone he knew and loved and then some! haha! 
4. stahl / maribelle - this isn’t one i came to love until long after i first played awakening, but i’m rather partial to it now! once again i’m pairing stahl with a hardworking woman ( which. i guess tbf is like. most of the women in awakening actually ) since i found it sweet how stahl really did worry over maribelle’s health, but also how maribelle was interested in stahl’s own ambitions and came to understand how his mind worked really drew me in! i love how she realized how much thought stahl put into things even if he’s indecisive and so genuinely believed he would carve himself a good future just like how she was trying to. also, stahl aspires to make everyone happy, and maribelle’s ideals align with his then: her goal to end oppression and corruption is something he would love to lend aid to if she lets him.
5. stahl / lissa - fanart convinced me of this one tbh but i do think there is something really nice here! their supports have them talking honestly to each other and being so comfortable with one another, and i can imagine they’ve known each other for quite some time since lissa’s first love was frederick and i hc that stahl studied underneath frederick as a new recruit so they’d run into each other naturally with that link. their supports just make me feel good idk, and it’s clear lissa cares about stahl with how she’ll get mad for him when she feels like stahl’s kindness is being taken advantage of. 
also stahl is 100% the type of guy who would absolutely indulge in owain’s fantasies as a child haha
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samwisethewitch · 5 years
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Physical Exercise as Spiritual Healing
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also on WordPress!
I’ve never really identified with my body. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt a disconnect between the body I inhabit and the soul inside. The things that I think of as “me” — my personality, my thoughts, my actions — are all intangible, and none of them seem to have much to do with my dress size or how much weight I can bench.
That’s not to say that I don’t love my body, or that I don’t take care of it. I have multiple chronic illnesses, so I am extremely aware of the effect my physical health has on my daily life. I am also aware that, for better or worse, my body is the first part of me that people see and is often the basis for their first impressions. I have bright pink hair and tattoos, and that definitely gets me some weird looks — but I love it, because my hair color and my tattoos are just so totally me.
In my teens, I struggled a lot with my physical appearance and the way people saw me. Between the ages of 10 and 18, I went from a size 4 to a size 16 and back again — and for a long, long time, I absolutely hated my body. I was obsessed with becoming skinny, because in my mind skinny equaled beautiful. I weighed myself every day. I skipped meals. I did workouts I found online that promised near-instant weight loss. And all of that wreaked total havoc on my body.
Suffice to say, I have a complicated relationship with the concept of fitness. Sure, I always felt good when I achieved a fitness goal, but I was so obsessed with maintaining my “ideal” body that, on days when I had to skip working out for whatever reason, I was overcome by guilt, shame, and even anxiety. I realized this mindset wasn’t healthy, and for a long time I stopped working out altogether aside from the occasional walk or hike. I already had a pretty restricted diet because of my autoimmune disorder (I like to joke that I’m allergic to junk food), but if I didn’t literally need to eat a certain way to be functional, I probably would have let my diet go, too.
In the last few months, two things have changed the way I think about my body and physical fitness. One of them is a new idea that I’ve been exposed to, and one of them is a series of events that I’m pretty sure was a push from the universe.
The first idea that has changed my relationship with my body is Tantra, a spiritual path that grew out of Hinduism. There’s a popular misconception in the West that Tantra is the art of sacred sex — this is completely false, but it’s not as far off the mark as you might think. Tantra, to put it simply, is the practice of acknowledging the Divine in all experiences. Author M. Chinnaiyan, M.D., says that, “The principle of practice in tantra is that the path by which we fall is the path by which we rise… We do nothing to change it or act on it. Instead, we give it our full attention and melt into it. By remaining open and welcoming to all experiences, lust, anger, fear, and shame give way to the beauty and ecstasy that pulsate beneath them. Thus, our very limitations become the radiant paths to liberation.” So, while Tantra is NOT about using sex to achieve spiritual enlightenment (sorry to disappoint), it does acknowledge that sex (along with all other physical actions) can be a spiritual experience if we choose to view it that way.
This philosophy has radically changed the way I think about and interact with my body. My body, like all of reality, is a reflection of the Divine. My body is a sacred space. It is both mine and not-mine, it is both me and not-me. My body is an instrument for conducting energy, and for directing my focus towards the Divine.
And if anything can become a powerful spiritual experience, why not working out?
The second thing that has changed my relationship with my body, and especially with physical fitness, is school. I am currently in college, and my goal for this year is to complete my “General Studies” curriculum so I can move on to classes specific to my major. One of the General Studies requirements for my school is an activity-based physical fitness class — as part of this class, I have to work out twice a week and record my workouts in a journal.
Now, I have always hated exercise for the sake of exercise. I did dance and color guard in high school (and did really well in both), but I also did poorly in P.E. class because I was bored and because I was embarrassed to work out in front of my classmates. Exercise has always been associated in my mind with weight loss, which again, touches on some past body image issues. So when I found out that I had to take what is essentially a college-level P.E. class, I could have freaked out. I could have demanded a schedule change, or tried to get a medical excuse to get me out of the requirement. I could have done what a lot of other people in this class do: walk on the treadmill for ten minutes, call it a workout, and go home to watch Netflix. Instead, I decided to view this class as an opportunity for growth.
This summer, I added yoga to my daily spiritual practice. I’ve noticed that, on days when I do yoga, I feel more connected to my body, more grounded, and more emotionally balanced. If I approached all of my workouts with the same attitude as yoga, would I see even more of those spiritual benefits? I figured it was worth a shot.
First, I had to change the way I approach working out. Our instructor encouraged us to set a goal for this class, and I knew that if I picked a physique goal (such as weight loss or improved visible muscle tone) I would be in danger of falling back into my old body image issues. Instead, I chose a performance goal — one that could be measured by how my workouts made me feel, rather than how they made me look. My goal is overall improvement in endurance. I want to feel stronger, and I want to get more out of my workouts. I feel like this goal compliments my other, spiritual goal of being more connected with my body.
Second, I had to find a way to create a sacred space for my workouts. This was a little bit of a challenge, because I am working out in my school’s gym, surrounded by fellow students — but it is still possible to create your own personal bubble of sacred space, even when surrounded by people.
I begin all of my workouts with a few minutes of yoga, and by setting the intention for my workout to help me strengthen the connection between my body and my soul. I’ve also gotten into the habit of listening to spiritually-focused podcasts during my workouts — this helps me keep myself in that spiritual head space even when I’m working up a sweat. (Some of my favorite podcasts right now are The Fat Feminist Witch, A Sacred Space with Katie, and The Body Confident Babe, in case anyone needs recommendations.)
And you know what? It’s like I’ve broken through an invisible wall. I’ve seen almost instant results, and I’m loving my workouts in a way I never have before.
Not only have other people made comments about how intense I get during workouts (something that literally no one has ever said about me before), but for the first time in my life I feel like my body is an important part of who I am. With every workout, I can feel the link between my body and my soul healing and getting stronger.
When you’re seriously dedicated to a spiritual path, it can be easy to prioritize spiritual development over everything else. But the thing I love about Tantra, the thing that really speaks to my soul, is that it extends that spiritual pursuit to all aspects of life. The things that I do to strengthen and care for my body are sacred. The time that I spend with friends and family is sacred. The things that make me happy are sacred. Every moment of my life is a new opportunity to feel close to the Divine.
If you’ve struggled with body image issues or find it difficult to identify with your body, I strongly encourage you to try this new spiritual approach to your fitness, health, and wellness. Take that spirit of love, openness, and acceptance with you to the gym, to the doctor’s office, and to the grocery store. Make decisions that will nourish not only your body, but your soul as well.
You are perfectly whole, exactly as you are. And once you realize and embrace that wholeness, everything else will fall into place.
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paleorecipecookbook · 5 years
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How to Use Positive Psychology to Improve Your Health
What if it’s chronic anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, or grief? Do those emotions also affect your health? And how can you let go of them?
The short answer is yes—positive or negative, your emotions do impact your health. The good news is that through positive psychology, you can retrain your brain to follow healthier, more beneficial emotional patterns and learn to let go of negative ways of thinking.
Here’s how you can use positive psychology to rewire your brain and improve your mood and your health.
Anger, sadness, frustration, or grief can, if left unchecked, wreak havoc on your health. That’s where positive psychology can help. Check out this article for more about positive psychology and get tips on how to change your thinking. #healthylifestyle #wellness #changeagent
What Positive Psychology Is and What It Can Do for Your Well-Being
Positive psychology is an evidence-based area of psychology famously championed by Martin Seligman. While president of the American Psychological Association, Seligman publicized positive psychology as a way of joining the more clinical, conventional side of psychology—the part that focuses on what’s “wrong” with a patient—with the people-oriented side of the discipline. (1) According to Seligman:
The aim of Positive Psychology is to catalyze a change in psychology from a preoccupation only with repairing the worst things in life to also building the best qualities in life. (2) [emphasis added]
Seligman—and followers of the positive psychology movement—build those qualities through character strengths. Character strengths are patterns of behaving, thinking, and feeling that we all have within us.
Why You Should Know Your Character Strengths
Seligman, together with psychologist Chris Peterson, described 24 different character strengths in their exhaustive work, Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification. While the unique combination of character strengths differs from person to person, they can include traits like:
Creativity
Bravery
Fairness
Kindness
Humility
Gratitude
Hope
Zest
And many, many more
Your individual character strengths color how you see the world and how your brain processes new experiences. Understanding your personal strengths can give you a greater sense of authenticity, and using your strengths in your day-to-day life can help you feel more engaged, productive, and positive.
If you’re curious about your character strengths, I recommend taking this free survey from the VIA Institute on Character. If you need help, a health coach trained in positive psychology can assist as you identify your strengths and learn to embrace a more positive mindset.
Why It’s Worth It to Refocus Your Thoughts
Practicing positivity and embracing character strengths—even for a short period of time—have been shown to lessen feelings of depression and increase a sense of happiness. (3) Research also shows that happiness has a positive impact on your overall health and longevity. (4) Positivity has been linked to: (5)
Immune system health
Cardiovascular health
Lower levels of cortisol and a healthy hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis
Better wound healing
Potentially protective effects on telomeres, the end caps on your DNA that prevent damage during replication
Positive emotions also appear to be connected with a person’s ability to bounce back from a stressful event. Experiencing positivity—even from watching a short, happy film clip, for example—can undo some of the cardiovascular effects associated with stress and anxiety, like increased heart rate and blood pressure. (6) Imagine what long-term positivity could do to improve your body’s resilience.
The Driver behind Positive Psychology: Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the ability our brains have to change based on stimuli like thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. The structure of your brain and the synaptic connections between your neurons can grow stronger or weaker based on your habitual patterns. In their book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, Richard J. Davidson, Ph.D., and Sharon Begley state that neuroplasticity explains why expert violinists show extra development in the brain regions that control dexterity, why cab drivers in London tend to have great spatial memory—and why your thought patterns and emotional habits can affect your health. (7, 8)
Positive psychology builds on that concept by encouraging you to switch your mindset. If you traditionally focus on the problems you’re facing or the things that feel “wrong” in your life, changing this one aspect of the way you interact with the world can make a difference.
Three Small Steps to Rewire Your Brain for Positivity
Sometimes, just taking one small step toward positivity is enough to make a difference in your life. With that in mind, here are three easy techniques you can try out today to change your focus.
1. Choose Your Words Carefully
If you’ve been stuck in a pessimistic pattern for a while, it will start to come out in the way you think and speak. You may tend to frame everything negatively, or you instantly consider what could go wrong in any given situation.
Think about a recent challenge you encountered, remember how you thought and spoke about it, and take a look at the table below. Which column did you fall under? Can you try changing your internal dialogue to a more positive view?
Pessimistic Thinking Optimistic Thinking Your problems are permanent.
“This is always going to be a problem for me.”
Your problems are temporary.
“This will pass.”
Your issues are pervasive.
“This is catastrophic.”
Your problems are local.
“This isn’t the end.”
Your problems are personal.
“It’s all my fault.”
Your problems aren’t personal.
“This is a common problem for many people.”
Your problems are uncontrollable.
“There’s nothing I can do.”
Your problems are at least somewhat controllable.
“One step at a time.”
Changing the way you think isn’t a simple endeavor—but it’s well worth the effort. Mindfulness can help you challenge negative thoughts as they occur to you.
Being mindful means you’re aware of your body, your sensations, your thoughts, and your feelings as they occur. Mindfulness can improve your positive emotions while lessening feelings of negativity or stress. (9) The practice also helps you feel more compassionate—toward others and yourself. (10)
For tips on how to start practicing mindfulness, check out my article “How to Avoid a Near-Life Experience.”
2. Remember Your Past Wins
Positive psychology is a success-focused movement. Instead of thinking about all of the things that could you wrong in your current situation, you focus on what could go right—and you develop a clear plan to help you reach that success.
One of the best ways to do this is by thinking about a past success you enjoyed. It could be a promotion you earned at work, a time you overcame a fear or apprehension, or the last time you felt healthy and fulfilled. With that memory in mind, ask yourself:
What led to your success?
What did you learn?
Who helped you reach your goal?
What resources did you use back then, and can you use them again?
Often times, the same strategies that worked for us in the past can work for us again. Even if your past success doesn’t directly apply to your current situation, giving yourself credit for a time when you overcame obstacles to reach your goal can motivate you to keep trying now.
3. Try a Happiness Intervention
A happiness intervention is a simple writing exercise that can be helpful if you’re struggling with something that’s particularly challenging. It’s a great way to stop negative thoughts from taking over and reorient yourself toward positivity. Here’s how to do it—and be sure to get a pen and paper ready, as you’ll be writing by hand for this.
Think about what your life looks like several years in the future. Imagine yourself as reasonably successful. You’ve accomplished some of your big goals, and your life has improved.
Set a timer for five minutes and write about your future life until your time is up. Don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, or sloppy handwriting. Just get as many details down as possible in the given timeframe.
After you’re done, take a look at what you’ve written. How do you feel now? Did you learn anything about the challenges you’re currently facing? Do you feel motivated to take any small steps now to get to the future you wrote about?
If you enjoyed that happiness intervention, there’s no need to stop there. Try one of these techniques:
Write down three things that went well every day for one week. Be sure to note the reasons they went well too.
Determine your top five signature character strengths. Over the course of a week, try to use each strength in a new way every day. Record your results.
Write a thank-you letter. Take time to express gratitude to a friend or family member who helped you in the past.
The more often you complete a happiness intervention, the more effective it will be for you.
Need Help? Work with a Health Coach
If you’ve given these techniques a try to no avail or you’re fighting against years of negative habits, it may be time to work with a health coach.
A health coach can act as a guide as you learn how to reframe your thoughts and adopt a different mindset. And that mindframe switch can make a huge difference in your health and happiness. That’s why, in the ADAPT Health Coach Training Program, all of our health coach graduates are trained in positive psychology and character strengths.
Even if you’re facing serious negativity, a health coach trained in positive psychology can help reorient you toward a more success-focused conversation.
Now, I’d like to hear from you. Have you tried using positive psychology before? Do you plan on implementing any of these tips in your daily life? Leave a comment and let me know!
The post How to Use Positive Psychology to Improve Your Health appeared first on Chris Kresser.
Source: http://chriskresser.com December 05, 2018 at 01:50AM
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stereklibrary · 6 years
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Hiya, I was wondering if you had any high school sterek?x
YES! I love a good High School AU (and to be honest, I had a hard time choosing) - here are some of my favourites
I also have a High School AU tag
Have fun reading! 
#librarynerd by yodasyoyo (1/1 | 7,742 | T)
“I’ll likely get far more done in the group if I’m not distracted watching you with your pen—”
“My—My pen?”
“Pens. Drinking straws. Don’t act like you don’t know,” Derek says darkly. “You know.”
In which Stiles follows Scott into his Spanish study group, takes one look at the hot nerd who runs it and then decides to stay… even though he doesn’t actually speak Spanish.
the nerd party by bibliosexual (3/3 | 6,827 | T)
Until this moment, Stiles wasn’t even sure Derek could read, and now he’s trying to steal Stiles’ obscure eight-hundred-page fantasy novel. What.
Option C) Some Bad Guys are Werewolves, but Not All Werewolves are Bad Guys by calrissian18 (1/1 | 9,039 | T)
Derek Hale—the Incredible Meat that Thinks—needs a math tutor. Stiles Stilinski needs something that will look better on his college applications than ‘passable D&D Dungeon Master.’
It’s a match made in heaven. Er, right?
Strut on a Line, its Discord and Rhyme by xiaq (21/21 | 61,818 | T)
“Carry me,” Stiles says.
“No.”
“But I’m injured.”
“You have a rash,” Derek says. “On your arm. Your feet work just fine.”
“Please?”
“No. You weigh almost as much as I do. And you ate a pound of chicken at lunch.”
“Well, yeah, but I pooped like an hour ago, so.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“Don’t play, you love me.”
I do, Derek thinks, relatively horrified. I really do.
And Then There Is No Mystery Left (Baby, I’m Sweet On You) by Swing Set in December (1/1 | 1,104 | T)
Stiles has no idea why Derek is sitting at his lunch table.
you love the hate that we share by bibliosexual (1/1 | 5,745 | T)
Maybe it’s petty — okay, it most definitely is — but it just irritates Stiles that the universe makes people like Derek Hale. He’s practically superhuman at lacrosse; he’s been blessed by the puberty gods with stubble and muscles on top of muscles and not a pimple in sight; he spouts off effortless monologues in Spanish class while Stiles is still struggling to remember how to say “Can you repeat that?”; he could probably make a killing as a male model; and when he asked Lydia to study with him, she said yes. Like, seriously, what the fuck.
Easy Alpha by interropunct (1/1 | 4,602 | T)
Easy A/Teen Wolf AU. Wherein, Derek Hale is the high school hussy, Jackson and Scott really need to learn to use their inside voices. And, contrary to popular belief, everyone is still a virgin.
I stopped believing in happy endings by otatop (2/2 | 8,531 | NR)
Derek was prepared to have his heart broken for just one evening with Stiles. He knew what he was getting himself into
(He had no idea what he was getting himself into)
(I Hate to Be) The One to Ruin the Night by wishingonalightningbolt (2/2 | 14,550 | E)
High school senior Derek Hale only has one goal for the rest of his time left at BHHS: avoid Stiles Stilinski. He’s wreaked enough havoc as it is, having spent all summer breaking Derek’s heart. Everything would be better for both of them if they just never saw each other again.
Derek doesn’t plan on ever getting mixed up with Scott McCall and his little gang of idiot friends. In fact, if he knew to avoid it, he would, but he guesses he just isn’t smart enough. Unfortunate, considering the consequences.
The Socioeconomic Repercussions of Mutually Assured Destruction by alocalband (1/1 | 15,285 | E)
“The trouble with having the kind of brain that likes to write essays on male circumcision for an Economics class, is that it also likes to turn PowerPoint presentations for Biology into odes on the perfection of notorious bad boy Derek Hale’s backside.”
When You’re Close I Feel the Sparks by Leslie_Knope (4/4 | 15,285 | M)
The guy is hot as hell, sure—leather jacket and glasses, Jesus, be still Stiles’ poor, bisexual, beating heart—but more importantly, it must really suck being new on the first day of senior year.
“We’re adopting him,” he decides, tugging Scott and Kira by the elbow in that direction. “Let’s go.”
Someone Please Murder Dr. Wyne by NotRoyalty (2/2 | 2,873 | NR)
Stiles starts asking questions in the margins of his chemistry textbook because that thing couldn’t be more confusing, and then someone starts leaving answers.
Talk Geeky to Me by stilesanderek (1/1 | 19,874 | E)
Derek and Stiles are the most typical combo of nerd plus geek two teenage boys could be; and as stereotypical as they could ever get, they’re each other’s only friend. That usually doesn’t bother Stiles much, Derek is the best best friend he could ever hope to have, but sometimes when he thinks about his fate of possibly not having his first kiss until college, he starts wishing he had a few more friends–or at least more people who were a bit more interested in him other than when they need to copy his notes.
In a fit of curiosity about how kissing feels like, Stiles proposes Derek that they each be the other’s first kiss–strictly platonic, of course. But afterwards, Stiles can’t stop noticing how hot Derek is, can’t stop thinking about kissing and touching him.
OR
The five times Derek and Stiles “fake” kiss and one time they take things further.
Binomial Coefficients by DevilDoll (1/1 | 20,783 | T)
In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.
the lunch table configuration by thepsychicclam (1/1 | 16,677 | E)
When Isaac makes Derek switch lunch tables, the last thing Derek expected was to fall for Stiles.
The Sound of My Heart by orphan_account (4/4 | 8,654 | T)
Stiles is bored.
It always happens this time of year. It’s the middle of August, summer is winding to a close, and he’s run out of things to distract him. He’s marathoned Buffy four times and as much as he loves it, Spike is starting to be a little less charming and a little more irritating. It’s also not helping that Scott barely has enough time to separate his lips from Allison’s to tell him he can’t hang out.
Scott is officially the worst best friend ever.
In which Stiles meets Derek at the police station
A Thousand Fiery Suns of Angst - Just Press Play by apocryphal (1/1 | 20,934 | T)
All Stiles wants from life is to learn to control his magic, keep his grades up, and not die horribly while saving Beacon Hills from supernatural threats. It’s all going pretty well until Derek Hale, werewolf extraordinaire, has to go and ask him on a date. That asshole.
Just the Same by ericaismeg (7/7 | 68,066 | G)
Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There’s just no way Derek Hale is human.“I was wondering if you’re even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it’s ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It’s unfair for us. I mean, it’s obvious you work out, and I don’t, so that could be why, but like…I was just wondering if you were human, that’s all.”
“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”
“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can’t threaten him with shit.
loving him is red by allhalethekings (1/1 | 14,915 | M)
“Who’s that?” Stiles asks, eyes not leaving the table.
“Who?” Scott asks, following Stiles’s line of sight. “Him? That’s Derek Hale. And you better forget about him. He doesn’t date.“
Practice Makes Perfect by blacktofade (1/1 | 21,061 | E)
In his sophomore year, Stiles gets dragged to lacrosse tryouts by Scott and ends up practising alongside the senior captain, Derek Hale. Stiles just wants to live long enough to become a junior.
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drlaurynlax · 6 years
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The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction (Adrenal Fatigue)
The HPA Axis Dysfunction or Adrenal Fatigue
HPA Axis Dysfunction or adrenal fatigue is real…don’t believe me? Read on for yourself to find out how it can happen to anyone, and the #1 cause behind it all. 
I’ve been quiet in social media world the past several months and, to be honest, it’s been a rough stretch to say the least. In short: “Adrenal fatigue” or HPA Axis Dysfunction is real, and if you’ve ever experienced an extreme bout of stress, you’ll know what I mean. Here’s a little personal story, and the science and research to prove it. 
Stress = The #1 Cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction
In fact, stress alone is the #1 driver of HPA Axis Dysfunction—the primary attributed cause of practically every known ailment plaguing our society today—from diabetes, to cancer, autoimmune disease, anxiety and beyond.
Contrary to popular belief, stress goes far beyond just mental stress alone.
Physical stress is often times even more detrimental, as it more easily goes unseen, including: imbalances in the basic human needs (such as lack of sleep, dehydration, poor nutrient density, sedentary or overtraining lifestyles), to gut dysfunction (SIBO, leaky gut, IBS), circadian rhythm dysfunction, inflammation, and light exposure (blue screens, light at night, etc.).
In fact, you can be sitting on a beach in Tahiti with a margarita in hand, seemingly no care in the world, but your body STILL be under a significant amount of stress, such as: fighting leaky gut and acne, experiencing shortness of breath from overwork in your daily lifestyle and lack of sleep, and hormone imbalances from overtraining in the gym and under-eating fat and protein.
Regardless of what type of stress you face (physical or mental), our bodies can only take so much stress. While stress is inevitable (impossible to avoid in modern day), if you go over your individualized threshold of stress or experience a significant amount of stress in a short amount of time, your body may back fire.
Enter: ���Adrenal Fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction.”
My HPA Axis Dysfunction Story
It all began in March of 2018.
Actually, rephrase that: It all began about 3 years ago, in 2015—the beginnings of my business and life as an entrepreneur.
Eager to “save the world” with my business aspirations in the health and wellness field, I went to work on the front lines, doing things like:
My Job (“Saving the World”)
Therapy:
Providing counseling and therapy services to individuals with emotional baggage to get rid of;
Nutrition:
Offering support plans and nutritional guidance for individuals seeking health improvements;
Functional Medicine:
Knocking conventional medicine on its head with functional medicine—providing tools, resources, protocols and procedures for helping people truly heal, not just manage their disease:
—You know, just “saving the world” (or trying to).
Along with these pursuits, a sneak peek into my life as an entrepreneur looked something like this for a couple years:
HPA Axis Dysfunction Begins: (Stressful) Life of an Entrepreneur (Beginning Fall of 2015)
6 a.m. Rise & Shine. Wakeup to my alarm across the room (despite wanting to go back to sleep after 5 hours of sleep)
Brushing my teeth, swigging a protein shake, and rushing to get ready for the day to make it to the gym by 6:30 a.m. or 7
7-8:30 a.m. Workout. Hitting a workout in the gym first thing to get energized for the day
8:30 a.m. Breakfast: Another protein shake, greens, coconut butter and 1/2 a banana on my way to my office
9 a.m.-2 p.m. Work It Start the work day, seeing new clients and writing or creating my next online project or book.
2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Workout #2. Hit the gym again for a break in the middle of the work day to burn off energy and clear my head.
3:30 p.m. Lunch. Chicken, avocado, greens, beets.
4 pm-7:30 p.m. Work It. Back to the grind.
7:30 or 8 p.m. Group Meeting. Mixing, mingling and talking more about business.
9:30 p.m. Workout. Force myself to hit the gym again after a long afternoon of sitting to work out pent up energy for 40-60 minutes.
10:30 p.m. Dinner. Dinner at home: Turkey burger patty, sweet potato, coconut butter, greens sautéed in ghee.
11 p.m.-1 a.m. Work. Finish my work for the day (e-mails, admin, etc.).
1 or 1:30 a.m. Bed. Hit the sack and sleep like a rock for about 5 hours.
Wakeup and do it all over again! 
But Stress is “Normal” Right?…
Can you relate?
Or do you know anyone who is an entrepreneur, or in school, or loves what they do, or who is super stressed over their work or life—and keeps a similar schedule? (Burning a candle at ALL ends).
Face it: Stress and “running on a hamster wheel” is normal, and if you are NOT doing it, then you better watch out because (gasp) you may fall behind.
Although I thought I was made of “steel”—immune of stress wreaking havoc on my health—my body had other plans in mind.
Before I realized it, various (silent) health issues began to arise including:
Health Issues Arise (2016-2017)
IBS
SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)
Unwanted weight loss (losing about 10 pounds over the course of about 3 years due to malabsorption and gut issues)
Bloating after eating
Chronic constipation
Shortness of breath if I slept less than 5 hours multiple days in a row
Gym performance decline (loss of strength, endurance, gains in the gym)
Hormone imbalances (losing my period)
However, despite all these “new” symptoms, I was completely checked out from my body—laser focused on checking off to-do lists, getting further ahead in business and growing a company.
In addition to not feeling on “top of my A-game,” other things in my life began to shift too, such as:
Lifestyle Imbalance (2016-2017)
Isolation from friendships (in place of work)
Working on weekends and evenings instead of spending time with people or taking breaks
Lack of interests and activities outside of work
Disconnection from my “source”—time spent in Word, prayer
Disconnection from the great outdoors (staying inside most of the days)
Over-screen exposure (upwards of 10-12 hours per day in front of a computer)
Loss of “who I am” or what I like to do (outside work)
Running towards a goal with no end in sight
To say the least, I became more like a robot, and less like “Lauryn”—the well rounded individual I am in my core.
I could talk and write all day about living a health lifestyle, and I knew WHAT to do, but when it came to my own health and life, there wasn’t time to do all the things I preached about!
As a busy entrepreneur, trying to save the world, who had time to do things like sleep 7-8 hours, or mix up my workouts, or eat a variety of nutrient dense foods, or make time for hobbies and passions and relationships?!
This schedule and pace continued for a good 3 years before my body really began to speak—letting me know that something was up.
Getting Out of Balance: SIBO, Leaky Gut, IBS & Beyond (September 2017)
Come September 2017, I was hit with a severe case of SIBO—Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth—in which my body, under high amounts of physical and mental stress, developed a gut condition where unhealthy bacteria overpopulated my small intestine.
The result?
Rapid weight loss and IBS.
Although I have struggled with “gut stuff” (constipation and IBS) most of my life, things really kicked up.
Seemingly overnight, I went from just feeling bloated after most meals to having to run to the bathroom after most meals with loose watery stools, or the opposite, waking up super constipated—unable to go at all.
This conundrum continued for a good 4 months before I decided to dig deeper and consider what else may be going on under the hood.
Thanks to my functional medicine background and training program at the time, we were actually learning about SIBO at the same time, and come to find out, SIBO is exactly what I had—triggering unwanted weight loss, malabsorption, bloating, constipation, tummy cramps, and the inability to tolerate most FODMAP foods.
At the turn of the New Year (January 2018), I was treating SIBO at home with a strict supplement protocol, courtesy of my functional medicine training, and by the end of February, I was feeling much better on the gut front—except about 10 pounds lighter than I’d want to be.
“What’s wrong with Lauryn?” I could sense others saying with their eyes, and it appeared I was “back” into my eating disorder that I had struggled with from ages 10-24.
I could hardly look in the mirror myself, and sitting at barely 100 pounds (on a “good day”), for my 5’4’’ frame, I felt it—felt weaker, and more discouraged, despite being more at peace with eating, feeding my body well and even giving up cardio in place of more muscle building workouts.
However, despite my efforts to gain weight—it wasn’t happening. Eating approximately 2400 calories each day wasn’t doing it. “Carbing up” wasn’t doing it. Working out a little bit less wasn’t doing it.
By March 2018, I found myself in a Gastrointestinal Doctor’s office to try to “get to the bottom” of things to see what—if anything—in my gut was still keeping me from putting on some weight that I wanted, and the conventional medicine “rabbit hole” began.”
The Plot Thickens: The Triggering Event (My Colonoscopy) (March 2018)
To start, the doctor ordered a CT scan of my intestines to start, finding a presentation of a “Megacolon” and “Autoimmune bowel,” and advising we do a colonoscopy to do some deeper digging to see what, if any, autoimmune diseases were present as well as any blockage or structural issues preventing me from absorbing nutrients and restoring bowel function.
In addition, I had a full blood panel done and hormone panel, and the results revealed:
Iron Overload
Low Thyroid Function
Low Vitamin D
SUPER High Cortisol
Low Sex Hormones (practically NO testosterone, estrogen, progesterone)
By the end of March, “C-Day” (“colonoscopy day”) arrived (and so did countless health side effects from this invasive procedure).
Colonscopies: More Harm Than Good
Colonoscopies have become one of the most prescribed outpatient procedures in America with more than 15-million performed each year (1) (CDC, 2016), and are only growing in prevalence.
While only about 50% of adults, ages 50-75, who “should have” colonoscopies comply with recommended guidelines, in 2018, the National Colorectal Cancer Roundtable (a group of public and private organizations) aims to raise the percentage of people screened for colorectal cancer to 80%.
And although colonoscopies are thought to be “necessary” for detecting “gut issues”—particularly colon cancer—they actually may be more detrimental than good.
In fact, according to Dr. Mercola and Dr. Michael Greger, about 1 in every 350 colonoscopies end up doing serious harm. 
I am a case study example.
Colonoscopy: Little Known Side Effects
Common (little known) side effects from this invasive bacteria with a scope include:
Perforation (puncturing) of the intestines (Gatto et al, 2003) (2)
Dysbiosis (imbalanced gut bacteria) (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)
Infection with another person’s gut bacteria
Eradication of healthy gut bacteria from prep (Lorenzo et al, 2016) (3)
Electrolyte, bacteria and blood sugar imbalances (from the “prep diet” and extreme cleansing that is mandated) (Shobar et al, 2016) (4) (Mai et al, 2006) (5)
The result?
A gut microbiome that is “worse” off then prior to the colonoscopy.
Given that our gut bacteria and our gut itself is the “gateway” to health, if our gut bacteria gets off (or even MORE off), then you can bet your bottom dollar, other body systems get “off” by “imbalanced.”
Healthy gut bacteria or unhealthy gut bacteria determine whether the following body mechanisms are healthy or unhealthy, including:
Gut Bacteria Govern Our Health
Immune function (disease, skin) (Oregon State University, 2013) (6) (Nanjundappa et al, 2017) (7)
Digestion (Lawrence, 2017) (8) (Kim et al, 2012) (9)
Heart/cardiac function (Tang et al, 2017) (10)
Weight and metabolism (Filip et al, 2018) (11)
Blood sugar regulation (Kumamoto University, 2018) (12)
Brain health (anxiety (Hoban et al, 2017) (13), depression (Clapp, 2017) (14) and memory (Lund University, 2017) (15)
Adrenal health (i.e. “HPA-Axis” affecting hormones, cortisol and thyroid) (Konturek et al, 2011) (16) (Cryan et al, 2011) (17)
Exercise progress (or plateaus) (Clarke et al, 2014) (18)
Headaches (Gonzalez et al, 2016) (19)
Attention/ADHD/ADD (Carmen et al, 2017) (20)
Cancer (Fellows et al, 2018) (21)
A better option than colonoscopies?
Stool testing—Addressing gut bacteria and gut health itself—prior to looking for structural issues with a scope. (Bullman et al, 2017) (21)
Since gut bacteria, gut infections, parasites and bacterial imbalances determine whether you get cancer, IBS or autoimmune disease in the first place, comprehensive stool analysis, like this one by Doctors Data or this one by GI Map, can be tremendously helpful in assessing “underlying issues.” Additionally, organic acids testing, SIBO breath testing and even a new blood test (Tsai et al, 2018) can give you more information as well.
(This is something a GI doc won’t typically tell you).
Me: Post Colonoscopy (April-May 2018)
My colonoscopy was the “straw” that broke the camel’s back —accumulating the past 3 years of stress in one fatal swoop on “C-Day” (colonoscopy day).
The “prep diet” was too much for my already-weakened body to handle (i.e. clear liquid fasting). Couple NOT eating all day with a full bottle of Miralax laxative powder, laxative tablets and all afternoon on the toilet, and by midnight that night, I was “far gone.”
Walking up the stairs to go to bed, I blacked out—passing out on the floor, and eliminating more bowels.
It took me about a minute to come to, as I don’t remember what happened, and strewn on the floor, my body started convulsing and trembling, my teeth chattering, and all I remember is asking my mom for a banana—some potassium.
Ten minutes later, the ambulance was there, and I was hooked up to IV fluids, EKG monitor and  a blood pressure cuff on my way to Dell Seton Medical.
“Electrolyte imbalance,” the ER doc diagnosed, and by 4 a.m., my mom and I were back out the door to prepare for my 5 a.m. colonoscopy arrival time.
I went through with the procedure, but little did I realize the “health issues” were not over, as my body spent the next 5-6 weeks trying to recover from the stressful event, inclusive to:
2 more ER visits (for “electrolyte imbalances” and hypoglycemia)
3 urgent care visits for more fluids and blood work
A GI Doctor office that would not return my phone calls post-procedure
A severe acute allergic reaction to a cat that moved in with a new roommate
Blood sugar highs and crashes
And more than a handful of diagnoses, speculations and prescriptions from docs trying to figure out what was going on, including: Asthma, Type I Diabetes, obstructed respiratory system, low sodium, iron overload, and…adrenal insufficiency (aka: “adrenal fatigue” or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”). 
Adrenal Insufficiency (aka: HPA Axis Dysfunction)
Adrenal insufficiency (aka adrenal fatigue—or “HPA Axis Dysfunction”)  IS real, and although our bodies are resilient to handle stress, if TOO MUCH stress happens at once, or a SUPER STRESSFUL event sets you over the edge, then HPA Axis Dysfunction is a byproduct.
The result?
Complete body imbalance. 
The news was really no new news to me. It was more like an “A ha!” moment.
A ha! This is EXACTLY what I had been experiencing all along, I thought.
I could talk about adrenal insufficiency or HPA Axis Dysfunction ALL DAY LONG. I could write about it and educate others about it.
However, when it came to looking at myself in the mirror and facing the facts that I had NOT been taking myself…easier said than done. (It is like the nail salon technician that paints everyone else’s nails—but their own).
Flat on my back, in a hospital bed in the ER after an emergency trip due to a 3 a.m. hypoglycemic blood crash after a friend’s wedding in Dallas was the wakeup call I needed.
For the past two years, (ever since my symptoms of SIBO, gut dysfunction and other health maladies had begun), my prayers had been:
“Lord, be Lord over my body,” 
“Lord, bring the manna and balance to my life,” and,
“God, help restore my body to health and help me put on healthy weight.”
Be careful what you pray for.
Never in a million years did I think that my “answer” to my prayer would be in the form of a blood sugar crash, but it was the wake up call I needed.
It was as if God was saying: “Lauryn, you DON’T have to save the world…I have already done enough.” And, “Instead of trying to bring glory to yourself, bring glory to me. Live out the gifts I’ve created and let me provide the rest.”
Mic drop.
I spent the rest of the weekend, praying, thinking and broken. I didn’t want to go back to my hamster wheel ways.
And you know what…I didn’t have to. I don’t have to. And whatever plates you are spinning or race you are running too…You don’t have to either.
How HPA Axis Dysfunction Happens
So…how did my body get SO out of whack in the first place?! How does HPA Axis Dysfunction REALLY happen?
In functional medicine, there is typically a “triggering event” that sets the body “over the edge” for HPA Axis Dysfunction and distress.
In my case: the colonoscopy (on top of the past 3 years of stress) resulted in disrupted gut bacteria, along with my side effects:
My Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction
“Diabetes,” hypothyroidism
Unwanted weight loss and inability to gain weight
Suppressed immune function
Autoimmune disease
Feeling “wired and tired”
Shortness of breath
Hormone imbalances
Apathy about my work
IBS
Poor workout performance
Electrolyte imbalances
Melancholy mood
  …And, to say the least, an entrepreneur who was anything BUT her healthiest, most vibrant, kick-ass self.   
Other Side Effects of HPA Axis Dysfunction
For others, “adrenal fatigue” or HPA-Axis Dysfunction may present as one or several of the following:
Inability to lose weight
Mood swings
Fatigue
Anxiety or Depression
Autoimmune conditions
Food intolerances
Insomnia
Needing coffee or sugar to function
Headaches
High blood pressure
Low or high heart rate
Feeling dizzy when standing up
Inability to concentrate/focus or memory loss
Lyme disease
Catching colds, flus or illnesses easily
Not “feeling like yourself”
Skin breakouts or acne
Feeling burned out or unable to do your usual basic “to dos”
Inability to tolerate exercise like you once did
Random allergies you’ve never had before
  How does adrenal fatigue happen to one person but not another? What separates “adrenal fatigue,” or HPA Axis Dysfunction from regular stress?
Check out this blog to find out ALL about adrenal fatigue and HPA Axis Dysfunction, how to find out if you have it and how you (and I) can heal.
Resources
1. CDC. 2016. Colorectal Cancer Screening Capacity in the United States
2. Nicolle M. Gatto, Harold Frucht, Vijaya Sundararajan, Judith S. Jacobson, Victor R. Grann, Alfred I. Neugut; Risk of Perforation After Colonoscopy and Sigmoidoscopy: A Population-Based Study, JNCI: Journal of the National Cancer Institute, Volume 95, Issue 3, 5 February 2003, Pages 230–236,
3. Lorenzo et al. 2016. Persisting changes of intestinal microbiota after bowel lavage and colonoscopy
4. Shobar et al. 2016. The Effects of Bowel Preparation on Microbiota-Related Metrics Differ in Health and in Inflammatory Bowel Disease and for the Mucosal and Luminal Microbiota Compartments.
5. Mai, V., Greenwald, B., Glenn Morris, J., Raufman, J., & Stine, O. C. (2006). Effect of bowel preparation and colonoscopy on post‐procedure intestinal microbiota composition. Gut, 55(12), 1822–1823.
6. Immune: Oregon State University. (2013, September 16). Gut microbes closely linked to proper immune function, other health issues. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018
7. Immune: Nanjundappa et al, 2017. A Gut Microbial Mimic that Hijacks Diabetogenic Autoreactivity to Suppress Colitis.
8. Digestion: Lawrence, K., & Hyde, J. (2017). Microbiome restoration diet improves digestion, cognition and physical and emotional wellbeing. PLoS ONE, 12(6), e0179017.
9. Digestion: Gene Kim, Fnu Deepinder, Walter Morales, Laura Hwang, Stacy Weitsman, Christopher Chang, Robert Gunsalus, Mark Pimentel. Methanobrevibacter smithii Is the Predominant Methanogen in Patients with Constipation-Predominant IBS and Methane on Breath. Digestive Diseases and Sciences, 2012; DOI: 10.1007/s10620-012-2197-1
10. Heart: Tang et al, 2017. Gut Microbiota in Cardiovascular Health and Disease
11. Weight: Filip Ottosson, Louise Brunkwall, Ulrika Ericson, Peter M Nilsson, Peter Almgren, Céline Fernandez, Olle Melander, Marju Orho-Melander. Connection between BMI related plasma metabolite profile and gut microbiota. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 01 February 2018 DOI: 10.1210/jc.2017-02114/4834036
12. Blood Sugar: Kumamoto University. (2018, April 10). How intestinal bacteria can affect your blood sugar and lipid levels. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180410100937.htm
13. Anxiety: Alan E. Hoban, Roman M. Stilling, Gerard M. Moloney, Rachel D. Moloney, Fergus Shanahan, Timothy G. Dinan, John F. Cryan, Gerard Clarke. Microbial regulation of microRNA expression in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. Microbiome, 2017; 5 (1) DOI: 10.1186/s40168-017-0321-3
14. Depression: Clapp, M., Aurora, N., Herrera, L., Bhatia, M., Wilen, E., & Wakefield, S. (2017). Gut microbiota’s effect on mental health: The gut-brain axis. Clinics and Practice, 7(4), 987.
15. Memory: Lund University. (2017, February 10). Gut bacteria may play a role in Alzheimer’s disease. ScienceDaily. Retrieved May 28, 2018 from
16. Adrenal Health: Konturek, P. C., Brzozowski, T., & Konturek, S. J. (2011). Stress and the gut: pathophysiology, clinical consequences, diagnostic approach and treatment options. Journal of physiology and pharmacology : an official journal of the Polish Physiological Society, 6, 591–599
17. Adrenal Health: Cryan, J. F., & O’Mahony, S. M. (2011). The microbiome-gut-brain axis: From bowel to behavior. Neurogastroenterology & Motility, 23(3), 187–192. doi:10.1111/j.1365–2982.2010.01664.x
18. Exercise: Clarke, S. F., Murphy, E. F., O’sullivan, O., Lucey, A. J., Humphreys, M., Hogan, A., . . . Cotter, P. D. (2014). Exercise and associated dietary extremes impact on gut microbial diversity. Gut, 63(12), 1913–1920.
19, Headaches: Antonio Gonzalez, Embriette Hyde, Naseer Sangwan, Jack A. Gilbert, Erik Viirre, Rob Knight. Migraines Are Correlated with Higher Levels of Nitrate-, Nitrite-, and Nitric Oxide-Reducing Oral Microbes in the American Gut Project Cohort. mSystems Oct 2016, 1 (5) e00105-16; DOI: 10.1128/mSystems.00105-16
20, Attention: Carmen Cenit, María & Campillo Nuevo, Isabel & codoñer-franch, Pilar & G. Dinan, Timothy & Sanz, Yolanda. (2017). Gut microbiota and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: new perspectives for a challenging condition. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. 26. 10.1007/s00787-017-0969-z.
21. Cancer: Fellows et al. 2018. Microbiota derived short chain fatty acids promote histone crotonylation in the colon through histone deacetylases. Nature.  9(105). doi:10.1038/s41467-017-02651-5.
Tsai et al. 2018. Prospective clinical study of circulating tumor cells for colorectal cancer screening. Journal of Clinical Oncology. 36, no. 4_suppl. 556-556… DOI: 10.1200/JCO.2018.36.4_suppl.556.
22. 6. Bullman et al. 2017. Analysis of Fusobacterium persistence and antibiotic response in colorectal cancer. DOI: 10.1126/science.aal5240
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Binge-Watching: Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card, Day 4, Episodes 17-19
Man, it’s been way too long since I watched this show. Enjoy my penultimate dive into Clear Card!
I Need to Rethink Everything
I feel like there’s a bizarre sort of dichotomy with these few episodes, in that nothing of interest really happened- we’re definitely in the hang-out-and-chill portion of the show- and yet the few tidbits of new information we did get have completely blown any previous theories I’ve had about what’s really going on straight to hell. I’m beginning to think there’s going to be more Clear Card than just these 22 episodes; the way the plot has been unspooling makes me think we’re going to end this season on a big reveal that will utterly shred the status quo once more and set the stage for things to unfold in future episodes. I don’t know if I’m right about that, but if these episodes are any indication, there’s a lot more going on here than I could’ve guessed.
First off: I’m beginning to doubt that Kaito is a villain, or any kind of antagonistic force at all. From what he talks about with Momo (who of course was alive all this time), it seems like he wants Sakura to collect all the Clear Cards as soon as possible, to prepare to challenge... the book Akiho was reading? The Alice where the events she reads somehow end up occurring in real life? Yeah, something a lot more complicated that simple antagonism is going on here. Is Kaito trying to fight the forces of fate in some regard? How is Akiho tied to the book’s powers? Is she an incredibly powerful magician herself without realizing it, and her powers are starting to wreak havoc now that she’s growing up? Was Kaito assigned to be her ward by that mage association to keep her Safe? Or to keep others safe from her? Is his time-turning-back pocket watch a last line of defense in case she starts going completely out of control? I have no idea, is what I’m saying, and that’s a refreshing change of pace after the easy-to-predict goals and machinations of Eriol.
And SPEAKING of Eriol, you have a LOT to answer for, you bespectacled bastard. Because I cannot think of any possible reason why Li somehow has access to Windy- a goddamn Clow Card power that by all accounts is unusable thanks to its card being wiped blank- except that YOU gave it to him. Which means YOU were the one who wiped the cards in the first place. Which means that even after you dicked her around for twenty-odd episodes to make her change all the Clow Cards into Sakura Cards, even after your super secret special card almost wiped her romantic feelings out of existence, even NOW you’re not done screwing with Sakura. And this time, you’ve enlisted her boyfriend to do your dirty work, a fact which is clearly weighing heavily on Li’s mind. I don’t know what you’re playing at, or why you felt it was necessary for Sakura to get an entirely new set of cards after she’d finally mastered all of yours, but it better be really fucking good.
And evidently, Yue and Kero think so too, as they end this stretch of episodes deciding that they need to contact him, whatever it takes. The vice of tension is tightening once more: Toya’s powers are returning, Sakura is growing increasingly powerful, and everything I thought I knew about the situation at hand has gone so askew that even Clow’s closest companions are scared about what’s to come. Yep, this is still Cardcaptor Sakura, alright. And I’m really gonna be sad when it’s done.
Odds and Ends
-Okay, Kero freaking out about Sakura’s well-being is aesthetic as fuck.
-Well, hello, Rika! Good to see you again.
-That was a weird sequence of everyone baking with Chibi faces. Usually we pull out that style for when people are flustered or panicking, but they were just baking here.
-”They don’t seem to be causing any harm...” Congratulations, you played yourself.
-Dessert. Roll. Kaiju. God, I love this show.
-”It can’t reach us up here!” This episode is just one long “Congratulations, you played yourself”, isn’t it?
-Oh man, the desperation in that cry was intense. Li’s so good, guys.
-”Having proper meals is important, but isn’t it more important to eat delicious things when you want to eat them?” Kaito, you’re a good egg. It’s official.
-Man, I miss pop-up books. When did I arbitrarily decide I was too old for them? Shame on you, past me.
-Homigosh she tried to make his outfit on the cake that’s cuuuuuuute
-Christ, that was the cutest belly grumble ever. You are such a Mugi, Akiho.
-An actual goddamn phoenix. Awesome. And that brief water/fire fight was EPIC.
-Oh god, that’s right. Without the Clow Cards, there’ll be no more interactions between Toya and Mirror Sakura. OH GOD PLEASE GET THEM BACK SOON SAKURA
-God dammit I wasn’t ready for that Engrish. I keep forgetting that Li is multilingual and isn’t afraid to whip that skill out on a whim.
-”Sakura’s attack just dropped his HP to zero!” slaskjdaksdjsdajkda
-Okay, I need more of Li’s sisters stat.
-Aw, what a sweet fable they read to the kids. Also, damn, Li, nice piano skills.
One more session to go. See you later today for the grand finale!
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