Heads up!

Today (13th), until around late Tuesday (15th) or Wednesday (16th), I will not have cell service/the service I do have will be spotty at best.

So, other than queued posts, I will not be active on Tumblr. Sorry for the absence, lol.

helpppppp i read that scenario of reader sleeping over, and I couldn’t help but imagine that they all share the same room when that is. Also what do you think the twins would do to get readers attention over the other?

Im gonna set this back when you’re in the middle school or something.

masterlist

fluff

word count: 1.6k

You and the twins are already comfortable with laying on each other’s bed whenever you/they visit. Your mother, Amos, even brings snacks to your room for them to eat and she always gets excited whenever they come to your house.

She’s even the one who insisted if you wanna invite them for a sleepover! Your father, Decarabian, always disapproves whenever you ask him if you can sleep at the twin’s house. (Also because uncle Andrius is there and he doesn't want you to get close to him)

Himmel and Venti were having friendly bickering and thinking over what gift they should give to your mother as thanks for welcoming them in. Amos accepts anything! She really appreciates they’ve put an effort to do it but later on, feels guilty and that they didn’t have to do it.

Speaking of gifts, your birthday is almost coming. Himmel and Venti thought at the same time. And while Aunt Amos is here...

You already know that they also have the same idea to ask your mother what you would like to have as a gift but have different methods to approach her.

It was Himmel who first asked aunt Amos about it. Well... not really her but someone else. It was after dinner and he decided to help her out and the maids in cleaning the dishes. He was really nervous and shy to ask her. Is it really alright if he questions aunt Amos what are your favorites? Will she get disappointed that he doesn’t know what your likes and dislikes are for the entire years he grew up with you?

Himmel sighed and continues to wipe the dishes with a dry cloth and puts them inside their respective racks.

“Master Himmel is everything alright?” A maid suddenly asked in concern, surprising him.

“We can handle everything here. If you’re getting tired, we’ve already prepared and tidied the room as what the Young Mistress has ordered.” She continued. The boy blinked before shaking his head and giving a soft smile to her way.

“Oh please don’t worry about me! I’m just thinking about something.” His attention was back on the ceramic plate and he carefully does dry it.

“Is it perhaps the Young Mistress’s birthday is coming soon?”

Himmel almost dropped the plate if it were not for him to quickly regain his balance and tightly hold on to it for dear life. He looked at the maid in utter shock, his face was scribbled with bafflement and embarrassment as he owlishly blinked at her.

Was he really that obvious the maid managed to point out his current problems right on spot? Well, It’s better to talk to her about this right? She knows you more than him after all.

Himmel nodded and set his gaze on the plate, mirroring his appearance.

“What do you think [Name] would like to receive as a gift?” He muttered under his breath as heat began to crawl up to his face up to the tip of his ears.

“Young Mistress’s favorite?” The maid echoed. She then placed her gloved hands to her chin, deep in thought.

“I’m sure she’d love anything as long as it’s from you. It’s the thought that counts, is it not?” She said before turning off the faucet to avoid wasting water.

Himmel was quiet for a minute.

Anything, huh?

—

Venti would directly ask Aunt Amos what gift you would like when she was preparing night snacks for the three of you. The younger twin snuck out of the room and left you and Himmel alone to play some video games.

As much as he’d hate not being included there and missing out on the fun, the most important matter right now is the gift you’ll get for your day of birth!

“Aunt Amos! Aunt Amos!” Venti cried and slammed the door open to where the kitchen is. The said woman shrieked at the sudden intrusion and looked over her shoulder to see the culprit behind her almost heart attack.

“Venti... goodness you gave me a fright there.” Amos chuckled and continued to prep up an iced tea.

“Aunt Amos, I wanna ask you something!” He said and leaned over the counter to take a peek at what she’s doing.

She stopped whatever she’s doing and wiped her hands with her apron before setting her focus on the short male.

“What is it?”

Venti walked back and cleared his throat behind his fist as if he were going to make a speech.

“A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the gentleman next to him pull a bag of 100 Mora out of his pocket.

He turns to the rich man and says to him,

'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'

The rich man laughs.

The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'

The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, [Name]?'

The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?”

Venti ended his riddle with a smile at the woman. Amos seemed to be contemplating his question very well and it’s not often she gets to participate in his brain-teasers. So this is very much a surprise for her.

Well, enough about that, she has to answer this quickly and she doesn’t want to make him wait for her longer. Going back to his riddle, was the rich man supposed to be her husband? Venti did mention your name when the poor man asked the rich man.

A song that has your name...

“Is it Happy Birthday?” She answered.

“Bing bong!” Venti’s fingers were formed to an okay sign and gave her a big grin.

“Knowing the answer is Happy Birthday, I suppose you’re also going to ask me about [Name]’s gift, am I correct?”

Venti let out a hearty laugh and winked at her. “Correct once again, Miss Amos!”

“Sooo...” He held on to the chair’s backrest and gave her the best puppy eyes he could muster to get another answer from her.

“Please please please please tell me what [Name] would like— no, LOVE to get on her birthday!!” He begged and clasped his hands together as if he was praying to a god.

“Now, now, isn’t that cheating? Your brother never asked me about this so isn’t it fair for you if you guess as well?” She remarked as she arranged the brownies on the plates.

“Wait— Himmel didn’t ask you?!”

Oh, how foolish he was to think the older twin actually asked your mother. Was he thinking too much when Himmel helped her out in cleaning the table? Perhaps yes, perhaps not. Or maybe Aunt Amos is hiding something that even she cannot tell the hidden secret to him?

“Well, I suppose I can give you a hint on what it is.” Amos motioned for him to come closer in which Venti quickly obeyed. Venti took note of all the words left from her lips in his head and is beginning to plan out events on the next days before your birthday.

His smile was brighter than the sun in this nightly hour and his eyes sparkled in excitement and joy. Even though her hint lacks information and clues he could deduct, he at least speculated it must be that item!

“Thank you, Miss Amos! That’s already a good hint for me! Now if you excuse me, I suppose we can eat this already...?” He sheepishly asked as he looked on the tray placed with a pile of brownies on a plate, a pitcher of iced tea, and three tall fragile glasses.

“I was about to ask you if you can bring it to the room. Be careful not to trip on your way!” The young male bobbed his head and picked up the tray with his two hands.

“Will do! And thank you for the snacks again!” And then off he goes, his slippers slapping against the tiled floor to make his way back to the shared room.

Amos watched his form disappear before her eyes flicked to the doorframe. A small smile appeared on her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You can come out now, dear.” She said. A good minute of silence was only present in the kitchen before a tall man stepped out of the darkness, sighing heavily as he threw her a look of disappointment.

“Did that little rascal really have to use me in his riddles?” He groaned before taking a look over the leftover pieces of brownies.

“What? It’s kind of amusing and smart to do it. I’ll give him kudos for that.” Amos opened her lips and popped in small bits of the dessert in her mouth to take a taste of it.

“Hmph,” Decarabian huffed as he poured a drink to the glass.

“And let me guess that Himmel also asked you about [Name]’s birthday?” He almost spat out his drink when his wife mentioned the name of your friend. It would be a waste if he did that and he doesn’t like to cause a mess in this area already.

“I told you he’s a good kid. You just have to get rid of that frown of yours and your authoritative aura. Himmel’s always doing his best and now he even had the courage to approach and ask you.”

Decarabian could only stand still and remain silent as he sipped his drink.

—

ive written a shared room scenario before and this is set on college au. Do take note this has nsfw content in it

A Bug Among the Fairies:

A/N: Hi everyone I am back. Here is the Fairy Tail x Mlb crossover I posted an idea about earlier. I hope you all enjoy, and I plan to work on some of my older fics soon.

Love,

S

A reunion:

Marinette was crushed. Opening her eyes, the smoke was so thick she could barely breathe, but thankfully luck was on har side and the ruble had not crushed her lungs. Around her, the air reeked of burning flesh and the sight of blood red snow wasn’t helping her stomach. The small village she once called her home was gone, everyone is dead. Mama, Papa, even Gray, and yet she could still hear their screams.

Deloria. Such a simple name, but it was a name she would always remember. The name of a monster who killed her family. But now was not the time for revenge, it was the time for survival. Step one of which would be lifting this piece of rubble. Marinette frantically looked through the smoke for some way to lift what used to be a roof of her small four-year-old body, until she heard the distinct crunching of footsteps in the snow.

“I don’t see any survivors, looks like all the other towns.” came out a muffled deep voice, but the echoes of the ruins wouldn’t let her get an exact location.

“We have to keep looking, Tom. We can’t give up hope.” said a much more feminine, yet still muffled, voice.

Hearing these people were here to help Marinette breathed in a raspy breath and yelled, causing two pairs of feet to start to scramble in haste to reach her voice. Seeing two figures dressed in white, just like the angels, her mama told her stories about coming to save her and allowed Marinette to give in to the weight on her eyelids.

🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞

Marinette woke up with a gasp barely heard by her ears. She had a gut feeling that something big was going to happen today, and after years with the kwami, she had learned to trust her instincts. She still remembered when her adopted parents took her to Fu to heal the remaining damage to her legs after Deloria's rampage. He had been healing her when the kwami came out and “chose her” to help protect the balance. Marinette accepted Fu’s offer in order to honor her parents and brother because she didn’t want to lack the power to protect those she loves ever again. After she was fully healed her new family (Maman Sabine, Papan Tom, and Grandpa Fu) moved with her to Paris one of the most popular cities in Fiore because of it’s famous monuments, food, history, and general atmosphere. There she lived a peaceful life until the reign of terror that Hawk Moth brought to her city. Luckily, Marinette had been training with Tikki and was ready to go, but she was only one girl. So, Grandpa Fu gave out temporary use of magic to her partner and brother Adrien Agreste aka Chat Noir along with a few others when needed, but it was easily taken back as the guardian knew the wielder. During his reign, Hawk Moth caused many major events including the transfer of guardianship to Marinette (pretty much the events of the show). After Adrien's father had been revealed, and apprehended for his crimes, Adrian was officially adopted by the Dupain-Chengs.

That brought them to today, and Marinette's bad feeling. After getting dressed and eating breakfast, Marinette got herself ready for another day. It was Spring yet again, and now everyone including herself, Alya, Nino, Adrien, Kagami, and Luka were going to the swimming pool before having a sleepover at Luka's. That was until Alya, who ran multiple blogs all about magic and guilds, showed her the top story in Sorcerer Weekly: "Fairy Tail Missing Team Returns After 7 Years Away!". Standing to the left of a golden-haired girl was a man wearing a silver sword necklace and matching bracelet. It would have been normal, if it wasn’t a one-of-a-kind piece that Marinette spent weeks saving up for to get her brother as a birthday gift. Taking a closer look at the boy she realized he had the same dark hair and blue eyes as her. "Gray" she whispered out without realizing it.

"Yep." Replied Alya popping the 'p'. "That's Gray Fullbuster, Ice-Make mage of Fairy Tail, but this edition took forever to get here because there was some problem involving a giant mechanical fish at their main printing site. It's 3 months behind, and Fairy Tail is going to be at the Grand Magic Games in a few weeks."

"Adrien!"

"Yes, Mars?"

"Tell Maman I had to take a last-minute trip, and that he is alive!" Said Marinette before rushing off.

All Alya could do was stare after her retreating back in shock. "What just happened?" Asked Alya to a frazzled Adrien.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng Fullbuster just found her brother" replied Adrien.

Alya's screech could be heard through all of Paris.

🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞🧚🐞

Stumbling off of the train after a long 6-hour journey was not an experience she wanted to repeat anytime soon, decided Marinette as she tried to stretch out the kinks in her muscles. She had just arrived in Magnolia and now had to find a place to stay before heading to the guild. Luckily, with Tikkis’s help, she quickly found an inn. Thanking the small spirit she started in the direction of the guild after quickly asking directions. As soon as Marinette saw the guild she started running unable to contain her excitement. As soon as she reached the doors, she kicked them open with a loud BANG! startling the people inside. As soon as she saw Gray, she cried out his name before jumping into a hug with him and giving him a slap.

"I'm so glad you're alive, but that was for letting me think you were dead."

"Who is this new love rival? Get off of Gray-sama!" Yelled out Juvia causing the girl to laugh before saying "Love rival? Ew no! He's my brother!" Which caused another round of startled gasps.

"Marinette?" Questioned Gray hesitantly.

"The one and only."

"I think we need to talk." Said Gray before hearing the shouts of "If Ice-prick has a sister. She should fight me." Causing a round of laughs around the guild. While people may get older and change some things never will.

Salt & Snow - Chapter 5

Ships: Ned Stark x Reader, Brandon Stark x Reader

Summary: The daughter of House Caspian begins to realize her place in a world of strict tradition and hierarchy. A tragedy strikes Winterfell, bringing her closer to the Starks.

The brush slid across the thick paper, making a beautifully straight line. The black paint was bold against the paper, which wasn’t completely white, but it was the closest she’d seen, almost as white as snow. What a wonderful birthday gift. Y/N had a thin wooden palette that she perched on her lap, allowing her to take the paper anywhere and paint what she saw. She already had ideas of what to send Ned, although transporting a painting without damaging it would be troublesome. Maybe it was best to just keep it in Winterfell until he came back? He had to return soon, he was seventeen. It had to be soon.

It’s what Lyanna talked about often, and Y/N didn’t blame her. She wanted him back too, though maybe for different reasons. She was pleased he still kept writing to her, entertaining her childish whims, although she didn’t feel childish anymore. They didn’t talk about ‘childish’ topics, either, it was always… all sorts of things. Y/N  could write to Ned about anything on her mind, and he did the same.

I hope we can talk as easily. What if he comes back and I don’t know what to say? Y/N wondered if that was a silly thought. She refocused on her painting, dabbing a small brush into the paints she’d set up beside her. There weren’t many colors to work with, but that made it an interesting challenge. The training yard was busy this late, so she had plenty of subjects to observe. Painting moving figures was a new challenge. It wouldn’t be a perfect still life, instead, she’d try her own composition of movement and action.

Y/N hummed to herself as she worked. She had only two hours before the sun would set, but she was confident she could finish the rest of it in her room.

“Don’t most girls paint flower fields and vases?”

“I’m a lady,” Y/N responded. She didn’t look up from her painting right away, wanting to finish a few more brush strokes. “You should always be gracious to a lady, especially if you’re a future ‘Lord Stark’.”

Brandon grinned. “I was going to scare you, but I decided to be nice instead. That’s very gracious, I think.”

Now you sound like your little brother. Y/N set her brush down next to the paints. She observed Brandon was still in his traveling clothes. “When did you return?”

“Just over an hour ago. It was a slow ride, Ser Roderick wouldn’t let me go ahead of the escort.”

“There’s a reason for that.” Y/N smiled at his impatience. “How was the Rills?”

“The same as always. Next week I’m going to see Lord Manderly. While I’m there, I could stop by your family’s castle. Perhaps I could bring a gift to them.”

“That would be wonderful. You know they would love to have your company, my lord.”

Brandon’s smile was infectious, Y/N had to admit. Thank the gods he was over that irritating phase he had before, acting like he was too grown-up and superior to bother with Y/N and his younger siblings. Well, he could still be irksome to Benjen and Lyanna, but they paid him back tenfold with their usual mischief. Y/N was just pleased he acted like the lord he should be around her. Pleasantries made things easier, and it really would be kind of him to bring her father a pelt or her mother a rare book.

Right now, he was leaning over to see what she was painting, as he’d often been doing the past year. She knew he had no interest in art, but he still made a point to ask about what she was working on.

It’s good for him to at least feign interest and learn about others. Maybe all those scoldings from Lord and Lady Stark are finally sinking in. Y/N thought. She showed him what she’d been working on, groups of men at swordplay. “They’re finally used to my sketching, I think. At first they gave me peculiar looks.”

“It’s because you were staring.” That charming smile turned to an amusing pout. “You shouldn’t be staring at strange men, Y/N, or drawing them.”

“They aren’t strange at all! I know their names, and they’re sworn men, besides. Are you just upset I haven’t drawn you?”

She was teasing like Lyanna and Benjen did, but he didn’t respond like she thought. Brandon actually huffed. “Better me than some old guardsman.”

“Sit down, then.” Y/N gestured to the seat next to her on the bench, the side not covered in paints and paper. “Portraits are always good practice.”

Brandon looked at the spot, only waiting a moment before taking a seat. He was still windblown from the road, smelling like horses and leather, but it wasn’t too unpleasant. Y/N fought the urge to smooth out his hair — it was such a mess, but he wasn’t a boy. Even Benjen was getting too old for her fussing.

“So you know, I’m not the sort to embellish.” Y/N said, her hand darting across a blank piece of paper. Messy sketches were fine for something like this. “So I will be drawing that unruly hair and those red ears.”

“They aren’t red,” Brandon grumbled and rubbed at the ears in question.

Y/N didn’t look up from her drawing. “They are. So are your cheeks. Are you cold?”

“I’d be a poor Stark if weather like this got me cold. Shouldn’t you be concentrating?”

“I am.” Y/N had to glance up to make sure the eye shape was right. Brandon had such an amusing expression, it was making her work difficult. “If you could be still, it would be easier.”

Brandon said nothing to that, only furrowing his brows further. It was startling how much he looked like Lord Stark, while Lyanna took after her mother. Benjen was a clear mix of the two, but all of them had that long face and dark coloring. She pictured Ned’s face in her mind, trying to remember the last time she saw him. Gods, was that three years ago? Maybe four? He must look so different now. Taller, with a proper sword and the skills to back it up - and what about those grey eyes? Would they be darker or lighter? Did he finally cut that brown hair, to better fit in with the Eyrie, or did he keep it long and Northern?

“What are you smiling about?” Brandon asked.

“Oh, nothing.” Y/N said Someone in the distance drew her attention away, which she was grateful for. She waved at him. “Ben!”

Brandon scowled at his little brother walked up. Benjen was already taller than Y/N, thanks to his spindly limbs. He looked around at the art supplies and Brandon’s awkward posture. “I hate it say it, but you’d be better off with a different subject, Y/N. There’s only so much you can do with this one.”

Benjen dodged out of the way of his older brother’s grip. His reflexes were nothing to sneeze at. “Big words from a skinny rat!” Brandon said, getting up to grab at his brother again, but Benjen was too quick. The older Stark may have been as big as his father now, but he had a certain … lack of grace. No doubt he was tired from the trip, too.

“Should I use smaller words?” Benjen easily danced around him.

“Do this somewhere else!” Y/N laughed. That was the end of the little sitting session, then. Brandon couldn’t be still after getting riled up; he was like a dog in that way. “Be careful, would you?”

“I’m just going to teach him a lesson—!” Brandon said, finally getting Benjen in his grasp. He cursed when his brother easily twisted out of his grip and hit his nose. It wasn’t a real punch, but it still hurt, and Brandon shook his head while Benjen unhooked his sword from his belt.

“Thanks!” Benjen scurried off, carrying the sword that was too heavy for him to actually wield. Y/N rolled her eyes at how Brandon predictably ran after him with a fresh new string of curses. He had only been home a few hours before he was going back to silliness with his brother. Lyanna would have joined in too, had she been here. Their latest pasttime was stealing the beautiful new sword Brandon was so proud of. Benjen just liked to stir up trouble, but Lyanna was sour she couldn’t have steel of her own.

What has she been doing today? Y/N hadn’t seen much of her friend today. Lyanna didn’t enjoy the last feast, which was a small affair - only half a dozen families were there, and not all their members - but she was still put off. Y/N hadn’t known Lyanna to retire before her, but that night, she did. It was usually the fatigued Lady Stark that was the early departure, not her fiery daughter.

Thinking about it now, Lyanna was unusually quiet through breakfast this morning, and she had been riding most of the day. Y/N considered that maybe she should have gone with her, even if being near a horse still made her shudder. She could have at least sat on the edge of the riding field and watched Lyanna. Maybe she wanted to be alone. If she really wanted me there, I know she would have dragged me.

With all her art supplies carefully packed up, Y/N returned to the castle and planned to find out what Lyanna’s mood was. I could be overthinking everything. We’re women now, four and ten years, we don’t have to cling about each other anymore.

Y/N nodded to the servants and guards when she saw them, giving a smile to those she knew well. They had long been familiar, pleasant faces that she relied upon. It recently occurred to Y/N that she knew them better than the servants of Whitetide, whose faces were rapidly disappearing from her memory. Maybe if her parents didn’t visit twice or thrice a year, and if she didn’t love them so much, she’d begin to lose their faces, too.

Their shared bedchamber was warm from a low-burning fire in the hearth. Y/N set her supplies down on her desk before shedding her thick cloak. It was fastened with a lovely silver manta ray that had a tiny pearl for an eye, a gift from Lady Stark herself. Y/N’s name day had passed a few months ago, and while her parents couldn’t visit, her second family was right there beside her. Lady Stark’s hands had become pale and thin, but she still wanted to fasten the pin herself after presenting it to Y/N. Then she patted her head like adults did to children, but Y/N couldn’t mind it.

Y/N was so caught up in turning the little manta ray in her hands, she didn’t hear the bedroom door open and close. The stomping of feet made her jump, and she swiveled to see Lyanna yanking off her riding boots and shaking the snow off them in the most unladylike way.

“So you were riding all day,” Y/N said, setting the pin into her modest jewelry box. She offered a smile. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Lyanna didn’t respond right away. She pulled at her cloak instead, tossing it on one of the chairs by the hearth. Y/N’s smile fell. There was an obvious dark cloud around her friend. Lyanna kicked her boots aside and huffed as she sank into an overstuffed chair. She was becoming too leggy to curl up into it like a child.

“Why in the seven hells can I not wear riding trousers?” She said irritably. “I’m sure the washerwomen are sick of cleaning the smell out of my dresses.”

Y/N sat in the chair across from her, settling herself into it. “And the horsehair.”

“It itches terribly. If I had a tunic, it wouldn’t be so bothersome, nor would the branches in my way.” Lyanna picked a leaf off her sleeve. Trouble was brewing in her grey eyes. There was fire in them even without the hearth lighting her face, a natural energy that possessed her entire person. Lyanna was more wolf than any of them, and when she hunched in the chair with her long legs drawn to her chest, she looked like a trapped one.

Y/N waited for her to speak first. There was something on her friend’s mind, but she had to find the words. Once she had them, Lyanna said, “You weren’t bothered at that feast. The last one, with the Karstarks and Glovers and Cassels.”

It was strange for her to bring it up now, but Y/N had just been thinking about it as well. Overall, Y/N would dare to say she enjoyed herself, even if the Karstark boys were too blunt in their desire to dance with her.

“I wasn’t too bothered. It wasn’t as crowded as it usual; I could hear the music for once. I was able to dance for a while, and the lords and their sons behaved.” Y/N didn’t know what else to say. “You left early. You didn’t want to dance?”

“Of course not!” Lyanna responded so sharply, it startled her old friend. “Why would I? Why would you?”

Y/N had no idea what Lyanna meant by that. That embarrassing dance with Roose Bolton a year ago had made her self-conscience of how clumsy her movements were. Lady Stark was delighted that Y/N took an interest in learning grace and how to carry herself better; and didn’t it make sense to test it out? Now that she didn’t overthink the steps, she could enjoy the exercise and the music. The company was good, and when she was tired, she japed around with Benjen and little Jory.

With all those racing thoughts, Y/N simply said, “I enjoy dancing, if that’s what you mean. What’s the matter with that?”

Lyanna shook her head, her brown hair falling farther out of a braid that was already coming undone. She’d lost another set of silk hair ribbons. “I don’t know how you stand it. You’re just a prize to them, you know, a bauble. You shouldn’t even amuse them. Neither of us should.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“The men! The lords or their sons, whichever! We’re just stupid little brides to them. Didn’t you notice them looking at you? Shoving their sons at you? Lord Karstark had them all lined up! And even if they’re married, they’ll leer!”

“That’s… that’s ridiculous, Lyanna,” Y/N stammered. “Where did this come from?”

“Y/N, we’re women grown now!” Lyanna was bursting with energy and frustration that she couldn’t get out fast enough. “My mother married at six and ten! It’s nearly time for us, time for arrangements! Soon every lord will be nibbling at my father’s heels to take me off his hands, and no doubt your own lord father has received letters from all the ones you danced with.”

“Lyanna. Did someone tell you something?” Y/N asked. She was already trying to avoid thinking of the future, and Lyanna had never discussed it with her. She thought her friend didn’t think of it at all. “Before you, Brandon will marry, and that hasn’t even been discussed.”

“Of course it has! Why would they tell us? They can marry me off without finding him a bride, and without asking what I think.” Her cheeks were burning with red anger now. “I’m a Stark, so I can’t stay in the North. They’ll send me away somewhere — somewhere South, because where else? I’ll have to leave Winterfell, while my brothers and everyone I love stay!”

Y/N went to Lyanna, taking her hands in her own. She squeezed them tight. “Where did all this come from? Have your parents been talking?”

“No one needs to tell me. It’s the truth, isn’t it?” Lyanna said, looking Y/N right in the eyes. “That’s what we’ve got to look forward to, Y/N. The feasts aren’t meant to be fun for us. Maybe for the men, but not for us. We’re there to be picked and chosen, like prize fillies.”

Lyanna squeezed their hands tight, so tight it hurt right away. She stared at Y/N’s clean nails and smooth palms. Except for the occasional smudges from paint, they were always like this. Lyanna looked at her own, already becoming calloused at the palms and thumb, often edged with dirt around her nailbeds.

Y/N was at a loss. Her friend’s harsh words were true enough; she was well aware of what their duties as women were. It crossed her mind now and again, the thought of marriage and that she’d have to return home eventually so her parents could begin to plan. She’d push those thoughts away, hoping the day would come slowly. She didn’t want to leave Winterfell, or her dear friends.

Still, she said, “It… It has to happen eventually. Our parents aren’t cruel, they wouldn’t give us terrible husbands, and they’d talk to us before any arrangement. When we have to leave Winterfell —”

“You won’t.” Lyanna pulled their hands apart. “You’ll be staying here, Y/N, and I’ll be sent away.”

“What? No, when my parents are ready arrange a match, they’ll call me back to Whitetide.”

“You aren’t going back! Isn’t it obvious? You’re going to marry one of my brothers!”

After that statement, the only sound in the bedroom was the crackling of the fire. Lyanna didn’t back down. In this light, her Stark eyes weren’t grey at all, only hot steel.

“How do you know that?” Y/N said. With the loss of Lyanna’s hands, she nervously tugged at end of her long sleeves. “Did … did someone say —?”

“No one has to! I thought you knew! You’re fourteen, a woman grown, and my parents haven’t sent you back, nor have your’s asked for you. When they meet, they’re always whispering and glancing around. Brandon will marry outside the North, as the oldest son, and Ned will marry inside, as the second. Benjen will serve Winterfell. It’s how these matters are done, Y/N.”

Y/N’s throat closed as she choked up. Her blood was rushing in discomfort. She didn’t want to fight, she wished they could just change the subject. What brought this on? She’d never seen Lyanna in a mood like this. “You don’t — you don’t know that. Maybe my parents will send for me in a month. We don’t know.”

“Maybe they will, but when it’s time for you to leave, they’ll send me away, too. There’s a reason mother doesn’t care if I spurn the lordlings here.”

Lyanna’s anger had broken again, now it was just frustration and sadness. The two girls stood in silence. The flames of the fire made shadows in the room, and that was the only thing that moved for some time. The shadows seemed to grasp at the two of them, little fingers reaching for their dresses and hair. Y/N was the one who stepped forward, wanting to make it better.

“We’ll always be friends,” Y/N said, trying to keep her own choked up voice steady. “No matter what. I won’t ever forget you. I’ll write you a dozen letters a month if you get sent to the south.”

Lyanna was tired. She couldn’t attempt a smile, but she said, “That’s more than you write to Ned. If he ended up in a green field instead of a mountain, would you have sent more?”

“No, the dozen is only for you.” Y/N said, even if she cursed the slowness of her letters to the Eyrie so many times, it felt like a mantra. She touched Lyanna’s shoulder. “Let’s ready for supper, Lyanna. You’ve been riding a long time.”

Lyanna only reluctantly went along with her. After dinner, they changed into their nightgowns and brushed each other’s hair, as usual, but there was no laughter and joking this time. When they huddled under the furs, Lyanna faced away, still deep in her thoughts. Y/N didn’t know what else to say, if anything at all would help, so she closed her eyes.

“What are you reading?” Benjen’s long hair swung back and forth as he hung upside down.  Y/N looked up, wondering when he managed to scramble right above her. Just a few minutes ago he was struggling to get on the first branch.

“A letter,” Y/N said, “Although I think you already knew that.”

Benjen grinned. “I did, and I know who it’s from.” He swung back up on the branch and easily moved himself to a standing position. He reached for another branch and lifted himself with ease, starting his disappearance into the leaves. With each branch he climbed, a few leaves fell down. Y/N pulled one from her hair.

She rested against the trunk and returned to her letter. Ned was writing about Robert’s attempt at jousting. He much preferred the melee, but ladies preferred the jousting, he said. Y/N was pleased Ned stayed out of all that. He also tried to doodle a little manta ray, in response to the direwolves and cats and deer she often drew on the margins of her letters. They were… arrow-y looking. Close enough.

I’ll have to pick up some skills from you the next time we meet. I don’t think I’d be a good student, but just watching you paint with my own eyes would be enough. You’ve written about it before, but I think hearing you talk about it would be much different. I want to you to tell me.

Y/N closed the letter hastily, wondering if her beating heart and sweaty palms were showing on her face. She glanced around and caught eyes with Brandon. She kept noticing his staring in the past hour, even though he was across the training yard trying to practice. It was a little strange. Are there leaves in my hair again? She touched her hair from the top of her head to her pearl. Brandon seemed annoyed, so she’d prefer he kept his gaze to himself.

The tree branches shook above her, and she heard feet scuffling around. “Ben, be careful!” Y/N called upward. “You shouldn’t climb so high!”

Benjen either didn’t hear her, or was pretending to not hear. Y/N sighed, folding her letter, stashing it in her belt and standing up. She craned her head, trying to spy the wiry boy through the leaves. He may have been a year younger, but she fretted over him from time to time, thinking of her little brothers back in Whitetide.

“Maybe he’ll climb high enough to catch a cloud and float away.” Brandon was beside her before she knew it, and Y/N was glad he didn’t seem as bothered as she thought. On the contrary, he was amused.

“Maybe,” Y/N giggled. She heard more rattling, but it didn’t sound like leaves. It was metal chains, and coming from a different direction. Behind the two of them, the maester approached them as fast as he could, the old man breathing hard as the chains swayed around his neck. He didn’t seem to care about the mud dirtying the end of his robes.

“What’s happened?” Brandon asked while the maester tried to catch his breath. In all the years she’d been here, Y/N had never seen the man so harried, and it seemed neither had Brandon. For a panicked, irrational moment, Y/N thought there was a raven from Whitetide. Dark wings, dark words.

“Lady… Lady Stark has … a … an illness.” The maester took a deep breath, attempting to compose himself. “She has been … weak, as you know, but … it’s far worse than I thought. She needs to be kept apart from everyone else at the Keep. When was the last time you spoke with her, children?”

Brandon took a moment to respond. “This morning, I talked with her, she— she hugged me, but —”

The maester shook his head. “And you, Lady Y/N?”

“Last night, at dinner,” Y/N said quietly. “She took my hand…”

She remembered the kind gesture, and now weary and pale Lady Stark looked. That night, her eyes looked especially tired. She’d begun to hold onto her husband or one of the servants when she walked to and from her room, the place she stayed in the most nowadays. No one seemed to want to talk about her worsening condition, not even the Lady herself. Out of respect to her, no one mentioned it openly.

The leaves danced around them as Benjen swooped down from a low branch. “Can’t we see her?”

“I just said you cannot,” The maester said. “She will be kept away from here on, and we will burn her things and anything she has come in contact with. Now, if the three of you will come with me, I’ve already spoken with Lord Stark and Lyanna…”

Lady Lyarra Stark died within a week. The children heard of the passing suddenly, as her husband was the only one who could visit her through her last days. No amount of guards or a maester’s lecturing would keep Lord Stark from her bedside.

Y/N stood next to Lyanna at the funeral, allowing her friend to clutch her as they all prayed in the godswood. Lady Stark’s bones had been kept in a beautifully engraved wooden chest, and they would be moved to a place of honor in the crypts, but that was little comfort to the children she left behind.

Y/N said some prayers aloud, mouthed others, but kept her head down the entire time. She heard the servants of Winterfell crying and praying, and clearer than that, Lyanna’s crying into the fur draped around Y/N’s shoulder. Her voice was muffled, but Y/N could still feel her body shaking. Y/N herself was trying to keep her tears from rolling down her face. The warmth of them stung her cold cheeks terribly.

Benjen was quiet on the other side of her, staring up at the red leaves like he was in a daze. Brandon seethed beside his father, who was as old as the stone lords in the crypts. Y/N was anxious to see Lord Stark’s expression, knowing it would either scare her or make her tears come faster.

The Starks stayed behind to keep vigil while the servants and guards returned to the keep. Y/N didn’t know how long she stayed kneeling in the snow. She listened to Lyanna’s quieting tears and remembering the kindnesses Lady Stark had given her. Anytime Y/N missed her own mother, Lady Stark was ready to speak with her, to teach her something, or hold her for a while. Y/N couldn’t imagine how the others felt. She thought of her mother now, safe in Whitetide, and desperately wished she could see her.

“Return to the keep,” Lord Stark said after some time. Y/N still didn’t know how long they’d been outside. “All of you.”

“Father —” Brandon started.

“Go.”

Their lord father’s voice was hoarse and hard. He didn’t look at any of his children as they slowly stood around him. Y/N’s legs had gone completely numb from both the cold and kneeling. She wobbled, and Lyanna tried to help her stay upright, no doubt just as weak-legged herself. Benjen found his way to his sister’s side, holding onto her like she held onto Y/N. It reminded Y/N of when he was younger, tagging alongside the two of them.

Y/N glanced back, noticing that Brandon was still trying to linger by his father. She didn’t know if they exchanged words, but eventually Brandon caught up to them as they walked back to the keep.

They all walked slowly, and the Winterfell that greeted them was eerily quiet. The kitchen staff worked with no cheer or haste, the smith’s anvil was quiet, there were no carts or wagons being pulled through the gate. At the feast hall, the candles were burning low, and there was only one servant tending to the cleaning the floors. Her scrubbing was interrupted by intermittent sniffling.

Ned couldn’t be here, Y/N thought not for the first time. Her heart sunk into her gut, making her feel sick. She knew the others were thinking the same. What could I say? What could I possibly say?

She mechanically walked to the main parlor, sitting down at the windowsill. Lyanna sat by the hearth, Benjen sat beside his sister, and Brandon had split off from them quickly. Y/N looked out the window, glad it faced away from the Godswood. She had a feeling if it did, she’d see Lord Stark still kneeling in the snow. She recalled Ned told her the Eyrie’s godswood was more of a little forest, and her heart ached even further. It almost made her cry again. How are the gods supposed to watch over him? Or hear him when he’s in trouble?

She would wait for Lord Stark to send word, if it hadn’t already been done, then she’d send a letter to Ned herself. She’d paint something, too, something special. She’d do anything, if only she knew what that was. Why couldn’t he be here? Y/N rubbed at her raw eyes and rested her head against the cool glass of the window, letting the chill hit her dizzying, exhausted head.

Y/N stirred and sat up slowly. Her head was aching from the awkward angle she fell asleep at. She squinted out the window, but there was only darkness. Across the room, the fire was low, and a chill was settling in the room. Y/N pulled her fur cloak closer around her and shivered. Where was everyone?

She slipped off the windowsill and wandered the halls. If it was dinnertime, no one woke her up, and she didn’t smell meats cooking as she entered the great hall. Y/N stepped outside into the fresh snow, wondering if the day had all been a terrible dream.

It wasn’t, though, and she couldn’t hide from it. People died all the time, especially women and children. If it wasn’t this sickness, Lady Stark may have died in childbirth. That was a far more common fate, something Y/N would have to worry about herself one day. Some day soon.

She sighed heavily and hesitated at the edge of the godswood. The darkness was all around her, with the warmth and light of Winterfell far behind. She took a step forward, letting her boot sink into the snow. The moon was waning, giving off the slightest light. The white bark of the trees and the snow glowed on a full moon, but tonight, they disappeared.

One foot in front of the other, the snow crunched below Y/N’s feet. She kept thinking about Ned, imagining his expression, what he would say — she would never know, of course, and that made it worse. She could only write and draw, there was no holding and comforting. The thought of holding him hit her so strongly, her body ached. Lady Stark held her when she worried about her uncle at sea, when she caught sick or when she hurt herself. Y/N wanted to hold Ned like that, even if he was far bigger than she. Maybe this was a stupid, girlish, childish thought. Maybe it was, but stupid words on paper didn’t seem like enough.

There was a clear path that let to the heart tree, but the darkness didn’t help her navigate, a strange noise did. It made her jump at first, but there were no wolves in these woods. She listened carefully. There was the distinct sound of someone shuffling around in the snow, like they were standing up. Y/N anxiously wondered if it was Lord Stark. No, he can’t be here still. It’s been half a day …

She jumped out of her skin when she heard a voice call out, echoing off the snow and the trees. “Who goes there?!”

“I-It’s only me,” Y/N started, ready to apologize to Lord Stark, but the voice sounded off. Too young, too angry. “…Brandon? Is that you?”

The person didn’t respond, but she heard boots trudging clumsily through the snow. She felt a presence next to her, and finally she could see his outline. Y/N reached forward and was surprised to not touch a fur cloak or thick surcoat, but a fairly thin tunic that was frigid cold, and the stiff muscles underneath it. Brandon didn’t flinch away from her, so she kept her hold on his forearms.

“Brandon, come inside.” Y/N said. Her own voice was weak, she realized, and she was already shivering. “It’ll get colder, and it’s already so dark. How long have you been here?”

Brandon sniffled, both from the cold and the tears, she assumed. “Father hasn’t come in. I was waiting …”

Y/N shook her head. He must have come right outside after realizing it was dark and Lord Stark still hadn’t returned to the keep. “You can’t stay out here all night. Come inside. Please?”

Brandon didn’t seem easy on his feet, and he was trying to keep his teeth from chattering. “I-I have a vigil to keep. I have to — father is, s-so I should at least try…”

“You’re cold, and exhausted, besides. You ran out here without anything, you fool. Why aren’t you wearing a cloak?”

He mumbled something in return. Y/N pulled the tall boy toward her, wanting to urge him toward the light in the distance. She was ready to give him her modest cloak, just enough to serve until they reached the warmth of Winterfell, but then he wrapped his arms around her. Y/N let out a noise of surprise as his head slumped on her shoulder. Brandon was heavy, but she kept steady. For a moment, it was all still: The godswood around them, Brandon in her arms, the night above them.

Y/N was about to speak, but then she heard a noise, like a deep gasp. Brandon shook from the cold and his own emotion. Y/N wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let him cry.

Robert shook his leg impatiently, causing the thick heel of his boot to tap against the floor again and again. Normally Lord Arryn would chastise him for his restlessness, but the two of them had been quiet for days. Robert didn’t like quiet, or gloominess. He didn’t want to stay like this a minute longer.

“Has he left his room yet?” Robert asked for the third time.

“Be patient, Robert.” Lord Arryn replied expectedly. “Recall that terrible day you endured.”

He didn’t have to recall his own parents’ demise. Robert thought about it often, a wound that was still fresh, and it only closed up when he drank enough or when a pretty girl sat by him. It’d come back afterward, though, and then he had Ned to talk to.

He shouldn’t have to go through the same thing, Robert thought irritably. The worst part is, he knew Ned wouldn’t want a drink or a pretty girl, or a fight, or a new horse. He would just sit in his own sorrow, brooding in that way he did. The young Baratheon huffed, shifting his restless energy to tapping his fingers on the table. Ned was always talking him out of trouble and listening to his worries — the only person he’d ever spoken to about them. But what did Robert ever do for him?

The Baratheon heir growled in frustration and stood from his seat abruptly. Lord Arryn only glanced up a moment, but Robert was already gone.

He barged into Ned’s room, and was half disappointed Ned wasn’t there — he’d been sitting vigil at the Eyrie’s godswood for too damned long, but that made this next part easier. Ned had several of his girl’s paintings up around his desk, where anyone could see them, but Robert knew where he kept the letters. He opened the bottom drawer and in a wooden box with the direwolf sigil, and there they were.

Robert had read some before. Sometimes Ned would read things aloud, sometimes Robert snuck in here, but they were never that exciting. Always talking about Winterfell or what the horses were doing, nothing salacious like a proper love letter should be. Still, they made Ned happy. Robert picked a few out and tucked them carefully in his doublet.

The grass crunched under his boots as he entered the godswood. The fiery red leaves and snow-white bark looked out of place amongst the rocky Eyrie, he always thought, especially when there was bright green grass and regular trees around the weirwoods. He spotted Ned at the same place he’d been for hours, kneeling. His head was lowered slightly, some of his long brown hair falling around him, and Robert wondered if he was asleep. Then Ned raised his head and turned it.

“Robert?”

“Brought you something.” Robert said. Ned wasn’t getting up, so he awkwardly knelt beside him. Gods, it was murder on the knees, and even in that position he was far taller than Ned. Robert retrieved the letters from his doublet and handed them over.

Ned looked at them with hope, then confusion.

“They aren’t new,” Robert said, chuckling. “I just … I remembered you liked these ones. Y/N was writing something about a festival? And Lyanna stole a sword off your brother. Y/N wrote about her dress, and something about a horse…”

He trailed off, wondering if this was a stupid idea. He was terrible at this. These were the letters with the most pictures, giving life to what Y/N wrote about, as clear as any maester’s history book. Ned stared at the papers in his hands, lightly touching a rare self-portrait Y/N had done of her new gown.

I worked on it for two weeks, although your lady mother helped me several times over. It’s the first one I’ve sewn by myself, and I hope I do it justice. This may not be interesting to you, but I’m proud. It’s cerulean and white.

Lyanna wanted me to draw her with Brandon’s sword. She thinks it’s very funny. ‘How can he call himself a lord when he can’t keep hold of his own sword?’ I thought Benjen was the thief, but Lyanna can be just as clever. It took him all day to realize she’d replaced his with a dull training sword.

Do you remember when you found my pearl? You couldn’t forget, I know, but I still think about it when remove it to brush my hair. I’ll never forget that kindness, Ned.

He smiled for the first time in a week. To Robert’s excitement, he made an expression for the first time in days.

“You can go back home,” Robert offered, wanting to keep the mood up. “Even if it’s just for a short time.”

They were men grown, ten and seven years old. If anything, they should have left the Eyrie by now. Both of them knew it was only a matter of time, though Robert didn’t want to go back to Storm’s End after all these years, having to finally take his lordly duties seriously. Ned was a second son, his duty would be commanding the household guard or visiting with minor houses.

Robert had a feeling if Ned left now, he wouldn’t come back to the Eyrie.

“Perhaps.” The Stark said quietly.

Their easy days had to end eventually. Why did it have to be on such a damned sad note?

Robert looked up at the heart tree. Its eerie, foreign face stared down at him. He had no prayers to give, only a quiet request that when Ned returned to Winterfell, it would be safely. The only noise for a long time was the wind rustling the branches of the white trees and the shuffling of the letters as Ned re-read them.

Anissa Crawford Speaks Out: That B*tch is Crazy!

Last night Lady Anissa Crawford, a Lunarian socialite best known for her stint as girlfriend to the teenaged Prince Nicky, broke her silence on her experiences with Princess Isadora of Castille. She gave an interview to famous late night talk show host Francesca Valentine, giving an in depth look into the early signs of Isadora’s troublesome behavior. The interview drew in millions of viewers to Late Night Tea with Francesca and started the trending hashtags #TheWickedWitch and #BurnIsadora after Lady Anissa let loose how the younger Castillian Princess would send people to harass the young socialite during her relationship with the Crown Prince. View the full interview under the cut!

Francesca Valentine (FV): Now that we’re back from the break, here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for this evening my dear viewers! Tonight’s special guest is a socialite we all know and love to hate, a woman who has dabbled in fashion design, modeling, and dating very wealthy men: Lady Anissa Crawford!

The audience bursts into applause as Lady Anissa walks onto the stage and seats herself across from Francesca.

Anissa Crawford (AC): Thank you so much for having me Francesca, I’ve always been a big fan of the show!

FV: It’s a pleasure to have you here, Anissa, though it feels like you’re always on my show one way or another.

AC: *laughs* Well, I’m always happy to give you something to talk about, dear!

FV: *smiling* Tonight you asked for this to be the platform from which you speak of events kept as secrets you’ve held close to your heart for many years now, correct?

AC: Yes. I’ve kept quiet all these years on the advice from my parents and lawyers but now that some of the truth has come out about Isadora I feel like I should share my experiences with her, if only to give the people a better understanding of what poor Nicky must have gone through and by extension Princess Minerva.

FV: It’s so brave of you to do this, Anissa, truly. Let’s start with having you explain how exactly you started your relationship with the Crown Prince?

AC: Nicky and I met at a Hartfordshire Academy sports event when we were both in our junior year of high school. I attended Hartfordshire’s sister school, an all girl’s private academy right across the street from the boys. We would rarely be allowed to interact with each other anywhere but sports events were always the exception.

FV: So you caught his eye?

AC: Actually, I started talking with one of his good friends at the time, Jack Pierson. I thought Jack was cute and wanted to get closer to him and so I started hanging out with his friends which included Nicky. Anyways, long story short Nicky and I got to be friends before we started dating; we actually didn’t realize we liked each other until he invited me on his birthday trip to Selvadorada.

FV: Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t Princess Isadora on that trip as well?

AC: She was. Everyone who went on that trip were Nicky’s closest friends and family at the time. Prince Gabriel, her older brother, had been his childhood best friend since before they turned eleven. He’s always been close to him and Isadora – he treated her like his own sister.

FV: What were your first impressions of her at that time?

AC: The moment she realized I was a part of the trip – before Nicky and I even got together on it – she was glaring at me and complaining to her brother about an “outsider” travelling with them. She made several passive aggressive comments about that childish nickname jealous little girls gave me back in my teens: “Easy-A”. 

FV: What did HRH say about it? Didn’t he defend you against her?

AC: He pulled me aside and told me not to take it personally, that she did this to everyone who came into their circle of friends. Nicky pitied her because of her family situation, you see, and explained part of it to me. I pitied her too after that.

FV: Oh? Care to share?

AC: I don’t think I will, sorry, but that stuff was personal to the Castillian Royal family and I’m not comfortable airing the entire family’s dirty laundry to the world. Just know that she had a seriously messed up childhood and started taking it out on others. I tried not to let her hostile behavior get the best of me on that trip but when Nicky and I announced we were a couple she started to escalate her vicious attitude.

FV: How so?

AC: When no one was looking she’d trip me up, spill things on me, hide my things; those were just petty little kid things, honestly, and didn’t bother me too much. It was when she stole my phone and texted my parents the nastiest things – she was calling my mom wh*re and b*tch and even told my father that “I” had found out about an affair my mom was having with her assistant! – they both were so angry with me! What nobody knows about that trip is the fact that my father had me sent home early because of the cheating accusation.

FV: Was there any truth to it?

AC: Absolutely not! But at the time he honestly thought it was something I had told him in confidence, he had brought all of my siblings and my mom together for a dramatic family meeting where they started fighting over it. I had tried to tell them that it wasn’t me who said those things, that it was all a lie from that little brat but neither of them believed me. 

FV: What happened during after that?

AC: My parents thought I was acting out for attention and sent me to therapy. Funnily enough, it really helped me focus on my home life and school, which were things I didn’t care too much about back then. It even ended up bringing me closer to Nicky, who was so, so supportive to me during that time. Nobody ever believed me that Isadora was the one who was using my phone to “grab attention” from my parents though.

FV: Was that the only time you had contact with her? Or were there other incidents over the years?

AC: There were tons of situations where she would straight up shove me – she even “accidentally” caused me to fall down a flight of stairs at an event I had gone to with Nicky! I ended up only spraining my ankle but that was seriously messed up of her to do – she’s obviously had a homicidal streak in her for years. It’s honestly not a surprise to me that she’s behind the attempted assassination of Princess Minerva.

AC: She would also follow Nicky around all. the. time. Honest to Watcher, she was stalking him. She’d make sure to fly out to Lunaria every weekend to see him and would become furious when he didn’t include her in his plans. She would guilt trip him constantly into inviting her along on our “dates” and when it got to the point where I’d become angry with him over it he’d pull the “she’s like my sister” card and say he’ll make it up to me.

FV: And did he make it up to you?

AC: Honestly? Yes. He was an attentive boyfriend, despite the weekly Isadora interruptance. He always knew how to make me laugh, was patient when I had my infamous diva moments, got along great with my family, and really pushed me to be better. He also bought me some pretty great gifts. *laughs*

FV: The public was in an outrage over his spending habits for your gifts, no?

AC: *snickers* He did know how to spoil a girl.

FV: If you were getting along so well, how did it all fall apart?

AC: After Nicky and I went to separate universities, we kind of took a break.

FV: Kind of?

AC: We still had every intention of getting back together in the end, but I wanted to be free during my college experience and I thought he wanted the same. He ended up rooming with Gabriel and of course Isadora constantly came around under the pretense of “visiting her big brother”.

FV: Is that sarcasm I’m detecting from you Anissa?

AC: Damn straight. I don’t know exactly what happened but she got her claws into him. Made him think I had been cheating on him for our whole relationship, – I still believe it was her who was feeding the press “exclusive” interviews about my Easy–A behavior – she also fed him lies that I was just using him for his money. 

FV: You were constantly asking him for things though...

AC: I never asked him for much more than his love and time. He bought everything he knew I enjoyed because that’s the type of person he is. He’d give the entire world to the person he loves the most if he can, that’s what makes him such a great partner. I don’t know how Isadora poisoned his mind against me like that, it’s like she was a witch or something *laughs*.

FV: *laughing* Well, she’s certainly wicked!

AC: The last straw for me was after his graduation from UBrite when those photos of him and Isadora were published. I had traveled out to see him at the home he had been given as a graduation gift, hoping to talk things over with him and see if we could salvage or relationship but...*sighs*

FV: But what?

AC: Let’s just say it was too late for us. He began dating Isadora openly after we split and I vaguely remember saying some seriously nasty things when I was cornered about our split. I feel terrible for implying that Nicky was such a selfish man, that he was only with her to “get it out of his system”. He truly loved her then, I know that. He had always loved her to some degree, platonically as children and romantically after we grew into adults. I was devastated to hear about those abuse rumors – he didn’t deserve that, no one does, ever. I’m so happy she’s been exposed for what she is: a crazy b*tch. I hope they catch her soon.

FV: Will you be reaching out to HRH now that his eyes have been opened to Isadora’s evil ways? Is there a chance you could rekindle your romance?

AC: *laughing* Dear Watcher, no! That chapter of my life is over and I’ve fallen for someone else.

FV: Oh? Who is the lucky guy?

AC: *smirks* Oh Francesca, I don’t kiss and tell. Maybe you’ll see us together on my Simstagram someday...

Enter Bunnix

The Bubbler

Breaking news! Local teen calls Mr. Agreste out on being a shitty father!

- Adrien’s birthday! He’s turning 14

- Alix is still older though at 15

- She got him some Heelys since he’s been begging to use hers all the time

- And planned on giving him hair dye just to get on Gabriel’s nerves

- Nino had been talking on a private group chat that excluded Adrien about planning a birthday party for him

Nino: This is gonna be Adrien’s best birthday party!

Alix: Of course it will be.

Chloe: He’s never had one.

- Alix, Sabrina, Nath and Chloe were a little worried, due to Gabriel’s history of not allowing birthday parties

- But forcing his son to go to galas he doesn’t want to attend is perfectly fine!

- Bunnix showed up at Adrien’s window at literally seven in the morning to say happy birthday

- Then Ladybug popped up to say the same thing an hour later

- Gabriel saw that and was very much confused since why the hell did two superhero’s thank a random kid happy birthday

Nathalie: Maybe they know him sir? Or admire him?

- He’s considered using his son as leverage

Adrien, at Plagg: Did you just. Eat a ribbon?

Plagg, coughing it up: Yup.

- Adrien was very nervous about leaving his house because fangirls exist

- Gorilla gave him a hug when he came downstairs and Adrien was vibrating like he drank 7 cups of coffee made with Red Bull from happiness

- He wants affection and will cling to people if needed

- Jalil had stayed up the entire night studying for his exam and when Alix walked downstairs she shoved him on the couch

Alix: Sleep ya dork. You look like a zombie.

Jalil, muffled from his face being in a pillow: I have an exam

Alix: At 2 Pm. Sleep.

Alim, from the kitchen: *Extreme amusement*

- Alim loves how close his kids are

- He can go and check on Jalil and Alix is just clinging to him while he’s working

- Alix defending her brother from those who pick on him

- He does worry about Alix seemingly being gone more lately though

- He can tell that she isn’t getting much sleep either from something

- And also he’s wondering when did his daughter start developing muscles

- But he just assumes Nora must be training her or something like that

- For context, Nora and Jalil are the same age and are best friends

- That something would be midnight Mr. Pigeon attacks and patrols

- She really wants to know why the fuck Mr. Ramier is out that late

- She suspects he may be drinking but who knows

- Wouldn’t be much of surprise

- Alim has known Gabriel for ages and can get away with yelling at him a little bit

- So of course he scolds him on being an uptight dick about not letting his kid have a party

- Doesn’t get him to change his mind though

- Once Adrien got to school, Alix smacked him on the back of the head with his gift and ran off cackling

Adrien: *Flips the bird*

Nino: WOAH DUDE I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SUNSHINE??

- Alya was very much not expecting that to happen and was a little stunned

- Marinette was more confused at what happened while Chloe was trying not to laugh

- Nino is very determined to get his friend a birthday party

Nino: I’m sure he’ll let you have a birthday party!

Nathaniel, whose tried several times: *Insert press X to doubt meme*

- Marinette still wasn’t able to gather up enough courage to give her present to Adrien

- Chloe didn’t shove Marinette though

- She did wish him a happy birthday however and gave him Ladybug, Chat Noir and Bunnix plushies that she had custom made

- She also has some of her own but will die before admitting to it

- Alix was dragged off onto the photo shoot with Adrien while hissing

- This was because Gabriel was still trying to market them as a couple despite Alim cutting it off

- The latter is not happy about this when he hears about it

- Alix has also been getting attacked on Twitter and such by Adrien’s fangirls despite not liking him

- She just wants to forget about it

- This is when Mari finds out about Alix and Adrien being ex’s

- Which she was not expecting

- Marinette delivers the present to Adrien and screamed at the camera

- She signed it this time thankfully

- Nathalie called Gabriel out on his bs and told him to buy his son a present himself

- Nino was turned away by Gabriel because he wasn’t presentable and banned him from the house

- When he heard a throat being cleared as he turned away he assumed it was Nino again and was about to dismiss him

- It wasn’t Nino

- It was Alim

- Who was not amused with the photo shoot

Alim: I believe I explicitly told you that my daughter as well as your son were uncomfortable with the relationship. Then my daughter calls me telling me that you forced her to act like they were a thing again? Maybe your son wouldn’t talk to you because you distance yourself so much Gabriel. But I make an effort to tell my daughter to talk to me. So the next time you try to control my daughters life it will end badly.

- Alim is a good dad, and has had adoption papers for Adrien for years

- He just needs signatures

- Adrien was also not happy when he came home from the photo shoot with Alix and saw Nino stomping off

- Alix went up to join her dad

- Adrien at this point has trusted Alim more than his father for awhile and stayed behind him

- Gabriel, like the coward he is ran off to hide from Alim and to Akumatize Nino

- Nino is akumatized into Bubbler with the intention of getting rid of bad parents rather than all adults as he does understand that not all adults are bad

- He doesn’t look stupid this time because I despise Bubbler’s design with a passion

- Alim immediately picked up Alix and Adrien noticing the bubbles outside, and a few adults floating in the sky

- Alix and Adrien just gave each other a nervous look

- They appreciated Alim’s care but they couldn’t go transform with him around

Alix: Should we split up? It might be safer.

Alim, immediately: Absolutely not! I’m not letting you two get hurt.

- Alix and Adrien are considering telling him their identities because he is trust worthy

- Thankfully they don’t have too

- Because Bubbler broke into the house with a smile

Bubbler: Adrien!! Glad to see you have a decent adult around. Now I can throw you a party!

Adrien: Nino?!

Alix: Oh boy..

- Bubbler leaves Alim alone since he isn’t a bad parent

- He also leaves Gorilla alone

- Nathalie isn’t spared however and Bubbler demands for Gabriel’s location to which she doesn’t respond

- He just growls and sends her sky high and leaves, gathering the rest of the classmates

- Marinette was already transformed having seen the bubbles

- She just hoped that this would maybe end with some in jail if they were really bad parents

- She was searching for the Akuma until she saw Bubbler carrying a terrified looking Rose across buildings

- She had a bit of a hard time catching up with him until he stopped at the Agreste mansion and dropped Rose off in the back yard with the other classmates for the party

- Bubbler started the party with most students looking a little nervous

- Most of their parents were left alone

- I said most not all

- Nathaniel, Chloe and Sabrina’s parents were all taken by the bubbles

- Alim is pulling out adoption papers again

- Bubbler is honestly more amused by that

- He likes this parent and is planning to drop his classmates bad parents because they are his friends

- Alix can’t really slink off to transform and with Bubbler watching him Adrien couldn’t either

- Chloe still pulls the slow dance thing

Rose, dancing with a random dude: I’m a lesbian.

Random dude: Neat. I’m gay.

- She made a new friend with her dance partner, a black haired boy with bright green eyes

- Alix was taking slight amusement in Max tripping over himself because he can’t see shit without glasses

- Ladybug shows up, and switching the music with her lucky charm record

- Several kids tripped and it took Alim glaring at Alix not to laugh

- Alim was the responsible adult and ushered all the kids inside to hide

- Which thankfully gave Alix and Adrien the ability to transform

- Bunnix and Chat fought Bubbler while Ladybug fed her Kwami

- Chat did flirt a little with Bunnix

- This is how Ivan, Kim and Sabrina started shipping Bun Noir

- She just smacked him with her umbrella lightly

- Alim was panicking because he managed to loose both his daughter and Adrien and couldn’t find them

- Ladybug got back, using her yo-yo as a shield against the bubbles

- She also bonked Chat because she wanted to

- Bunnix was cackling

- Bubbler used the green bubbles on them, trapping Chat and Ladybug in one and Bunnix on her own

- Bunnix hearing Chat’s comment she just went: Dude please go to therapy your dad is a dick and I’ve met some shitty people

- Bubbler just sent them up into the sky

- Chat used his cataclysm white Bunnix exited with her burrow

- Bunnix was waiting where they landed and slowed them down so they didn’t skid

- Bunnix and Chat’s timers started up

- The fight ensued on the Eiffel Tower and they successfully deakumatized Nino

- Ladybug used her cure and sent the adults back down to earth

- They did their pound it and Bunnix and Chat ran off to get back to the mansion

- Alim was a little mad at them for disappearing but they just said they were nervous and couldn’t hear him looking for them

- Gabriel is now scared of Alim a little bit

- Adrien gets taught how to use his heelys by Alix and sleeps with the hero plushies every night

Anyone who was interested in dragon boi Nico from this post, here’s the update I promised! I wasn’t expecting a lot of interest in this so I’m not posting a linear timeline right now, but if people seem to like it I’ll definitely write more!

No big warnings for this, some mentions and implications of torture

Word Count: 2,588

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“Come on Nico, please?” Kaida put on her best pleading eyes – she even clasped her hands together for extra effect. “I promise I’ll do whatever you say, I won’t be in the way!”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Nico said, not even looking at her as he continued to throw various items into his bag. “I’m not going for fun, you know that.”

Kaida scowled, tail lashing against the floor as she abandoned her pleading pose. “But I could help,” she insisted. “C’mon, couldn’t you at least use the company?”

“No. It could be dangerous.”

“All the more reason for me to come!” Kaida shot back. “You shouldn’t go alone if you think there’ll be trouble!”

Nico sighed and turned to look at her. “No,” he said firmly. “I’m not risking it.”

Kaida rolled her eyes. “You act like you’re going to war or something! It’s just a big city, what are you so worried about?”

“You know how they feel about dragons there,” Nico reminded her. “It’s better if I go alone.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!” Kaida cried. “You should have someone go with you! Someone like me.”

Nico closed his bag. “If I were going to bring someone with me, it wouldn’t be you.”

Kaida huffed in frustration. “You’re not that much older than me anyway.”

“Four years is enough,” Nico retorted, turning to leave the room.

Kaida jumped after him, refusing to give up. “You guys never let me do anything with you!” She said, knowing that she sounded like a little kid but not caring. “What, is it because I’m a girl?”

“Really, Kaida?”

She jumped in front of him, blocking his path through the hall. “Just this once,” she pleaded. “Consider it an early birthday gift! I’ll even count it as three!”

“No.”

“But why –”

“Drop it, Kaida!” Nico snapped. “I said no and I’m not changing my answer.”

Kaida fell silent, choosing to glare at her brother instead. She even managed to muster some not-so-fake tears to convey her disappointment.

Nico’s expression softened. “Look,” he began. “I promise that I’ll take you with me on my next trip – but this is about finding Bae.”

Kaida didn’t say anything. She knew Nico was worried about his friend, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take her with him, right? She could help, regardless of what he thought.

“I won’t be gone longer than two weeks,” Nico promised. “But I really can’t take you this time.”

Kaida turned away. “Sure,” she muttered bitterly.

“I’ll bring you back something cool!” Nico called as she stalked down the hall toward her room.

Kaida ignored him and slammed the door. She hoped he felt guilty about leaving her. She heard Nico saying something to their parents, then silence. She stayed in her room, resolutely not pouting, until her mom coaxed her out for dinner.

“Nico is right,” her mom said. “It’s not safe, even for him.” She turned her fork over in her hands, again and again. “I wish that Kai or Dart would have gone with him.”

“He could’ve taken me,” Kaida muttered.

“Kaida,” her dad said, a slight warning in his tone. “He’s only looking out for you.”

He looked to her mom. “He’ll be fine. He’s an adult, he can take care of himself.”

Despite his words, Kaida didn’t miss the worry in his eyes.

As the days went by, Kaida began to plan what she’d say when Nico returned. He’d tell her all about how he couldn’t possibly have taken her, because he wouldn’t want to admit he was wrong. He was wrong, she knew – sure it was dangerous, but she could handle herself! She’d be sure to let him know that. She’d stay mad at him for a few days, she decided, before she let him off the hook.

The second week passed. Then the third.

‘No longer than two weeks,’ Kaida thought to herself. ‘Sure.’ She tried to stay angry, because it distracted herself from the worry that was growing in the back of her mind. ‘It’s just taking longer than he thought it would to find Bae,’ she reasoned. ‘But I’m not letting him hear the end of it when he gets home.’

The first day of the fourth week, Kaida woke to hear hushed voices coming from the kitchen. She stumbled through the hall, her wings catching on the door as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She made it to the kitchen and blinked, surprised to see her two oldest brothers speaking with her parents. She didn’t miss the worried faces, the urgency in her father’s tones.

“Kai? Dart? When’d you guys get here?” Four heads turned sharply to look at her.

“Kaida,” Dart said. “Didn’t realize you were up.”

Kaida frowned. “I didn’t know you were visiting.”

“We were in the area,” Kai said easily, but his smile was tense. “Can’t stay long though.”

Kaida eyed them suspiciously. “Is this about Nico?” She asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear the answer. “Why isn’t he back yet?”

The four of them exchanged glances. Kaida noticed that her mom’s ash-gray skin looked paler than usual, and her dad’s usually vibrant red scales speckled across his skin had lost their luster.

“We don’t know,” her mom said slowly. “Kai and Dart have been – looking for him.” Her voice hitched over the words, as if she didn’t want to admit it.

“You mean he’s missing?” Kaida asked, her voice pitched higher. She struggled to keep control over it. “Just like how Bae was missing?”

“We’ll find him,” Kai asserted. As the oldest sibling, she had always believed in him, and his confidence was hard to ignore. “Don’t worry.”

Dart avoided her eyes. “He probably just…doesn’t realize how long it’s been.”

It wasn’t impossible. Dragons got lost outside the passage of time so easily. But Kaida didn’t believe him.

Another week passed. Kaida’s dad left in the middle of the week to join Kai and Dart. Her mom spent hours in the garden. She always worked in her garden when she was nervous. Kaida wished she had a nervous hobby. Then maybe she’d stop feeling so guilty all the time.

‘Didn’t even say goodbye.’ The thought refused to leave her mind. ‘What if I never see him again?’

The fifth week came, and Kaida’s dad returned, reluctantly admitting that he couldn’t stop working forever. At the sixth week, Kaida realized she was losing count. She started marking off the days.

Dart came to the house on day 47. He looked so hopeless that Kaida wanted to cry. But she didn’t. He spoke to their parents, too quietly for her to hear anything. When he left, her mom was holding back tears.

On day 62, Kai told her, brokenly, that he couldn’t keep looking. “We’re not getting anywhere,” he said. “I can’t – I’m not helping anything. I can’t spend so much time away from Lyra and the kids like I have been.”

“You’re giving up?” Kaida asked in disbelief. “You can’t do that!”

Kai’s expression broke her heart in half. “I’m not giving up,” he said. “But I have to step back. At least until we have something to go off of.”

Kaida swallowed back her tears. “What about Dart? What is he doing?”

Kai shook his head. “He’s looking for leads. I made him promise not to go anywhere alone.”

He didn’t have to say what they were both thinking. ‘We can’t have him disappear too.’

On day 100, Kaida nearly ripped her calendar in half. She stopped herself, anger and despair warring within her, before she settled on throwing it across the room. She broke down and sobbed for the first time since Nico had gone missing.

Day 157 was the hardest. Her mom sat at the table in the kitchen, staring out the window. She didn’t move until late in the afternoon, when she began mechanically going through the motions of preparing dinner. Kaida tried very hard not to think about anything.

‘He’s turning 20 today.’ She remembered, in a detached sort of way, that the first year after losing someone was the worst, the most painful to get through. She didn’t believe it would be ever be better she wasn’t sure she wanted it to be.

That night, Kai and Dart burst through the door with more energy than they had displayed in months. Kai was speaking too fast and his words were too broken to understand; Dart was gripping Kai’s arm tightly and his mouth was a thin line. Kaida stayed at the edge of the room, afraid, because she had never seen Kai in such a state. He kept repeating the same thing;

“I heard him, he was talking to me, I heard him, and I couldn’t do anything –”

“He’s alive?” Their mom’s voice was tight with apprehension. “You’re sure of it?”

Kai shook his head, but it wasn’t denial. “He was so scared,” he whispered, burying his face in his hands. “He’s being held somewhere, and he’s –” He cut himself off quickly, throwing a glance in Kaida’s direction.

“Why would they let him speak to you?” Their dad asked, the barest trace of hope evident in his voice.

Dart grimaced, his grip on Kai’s arm tightening, his voice laced with venom when he spoke. “A birthday present.”

They never heard anything after that. By day 297, Kaida was shocked to realize that it almost seemed normal. She spent the entire day going through pictures, and she cried. She couldn’t quite recall Nico’s voice.

When Kaida marked off day 365, her hand shook almost too much to hold the pen. She stared blankly at the calendar, unaware of how long it had been until the shadows in her room began to darken. She didn’t sleep that night.

‘Didn’t even say goodbye.’

She couldn’t bring herself to stop counting. Then, on day 394, Kai came with news.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” he said, slowly, hesitantly. “Dart thinks he found a good lead.”

Kaida wasn’t hopeful. She was afraid. She was afraid that they would find Nico – that they would find him dead. She didn’t mention her fears to her parents.

On day 400, Dart came to update them. He looked hopeful for the first time in months. “We’re going to find him,” he said, and the confidence that had been missing for so long was back in his voice. “We have an informant. It’s only a matter of time.”

“Tell us as soon as he’s safe,” their mother insisted. A year of worry was painstakingly clear on her face.

It was day 415 that Kai entered the house, his face a mixture of relief and pain.

“Is he alright?” Kaida burst out, unable to let the adults do all the talking. “Did you find him?”

Kai opened his mouth, then closed it again. “We found him,” he finally answered.

They waited, breathless.

“He’s…alive,” Kai said.

“Where is he now?” Their father was on his feet, probably ready to fly out the door in an instant.

Kai hesitated. “We brought him to Michael’s house for now. He…needed a doctor.”

Their parent’s exchanged glances. Michael had been friends with her brothers since they were boys, and he was a certified nurse. But why not bring him home? Or to a hospital if he was hurt?

“Is he…alright?” Their mother asked.

Kai avoided their eyes. “He’ll recover,” he said. “Physically, at least…”

Kaida didn’t want to think about the implications of that statement. “What happened to him? Where was he all this time?”

Kai looked at her as if just realizing she was there. He glanced at their parents. “Maybe I should talk to you alone.”

“No!” Kaida protested. “He’s my brother too! How do you think I’ve felt this whole time?” She cut herself off, tears gathering in her eyes. “Please,” she said, her voice breaking. “Not knowing is worse.”

So, Kai told them, in broken and halting sentences, about a man whose identity was still unknown, who led one of the most powerful gangs in the city. A man who had made it his personal mission to rid the city of ‘monsters’. The man who had held Nico prisoner for over a year, hurt him, tortured him, for no reason other than that he hated anyone who was not human.

Kaida thought, in a bitter, yet detached sort of way, that he had earned the real title of monster – certainly more than Nico ever had.

Kai refused to go into more detail. “When you see him,” he said carefully. “He might not react well. You need to be prepared.”

It was another two days before Kaida was allowed to visit her brother. She stood outside the door, Dart at her side, finding herself terrified of taking another step.

“He’s used to us being there,” Dart had explained. “But I’m sure he’ll be fine with you,” he had added, seeing the look on her face. “But it might…take a minute.”

Steeling her nerves, Kaida gently opened the door. Dart stepped in ahead of her, and she was close to follow. She nearly cried again when she saw Nico. He was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, his knees drawn up to his chest. His wings were drawn around his frame, and his tail was curled tightly around his feet.

Dart crouched down beside him, motioning for Kaida to follow. “Nico,” he said quietly. “I brought Kaida. She’d have killed us if we kept her away any longer,” he laughed.

Nico’s wings slowly folded outward, allowing Kaida to see more of his body. His head stayed down, but he reached out his hand, slowly, shakily. Dart nodded at her, and she put her hand in his. His breath caught.

“Good to see you again,” she choked out. She remembered what Kai and Dart had told her – that he had trouble speaking, now – that he could barely get out one sentence at the best of times. Maybe it was selfish, but she desperately wanted to hear his voice again. “I – I missed you.”

His grip on her hand tightened. He turned his head to face her, but kept his gaze down, refusing to meet her eyes. He opened his mouth, but stopped, as if afraid to speak. Kaida held her breath.

“You-you’re – b-b-bigger.”

A short laugh forced itself out of Kaida’s throat. “I’m probably as tall as you now,” she said, trying to put some sort of lightheartedness into her tone.

Nico didn’t smile, as such, but she thought he relaxed slightly. He opened his mouth again, then shut it, then opened it again. His grip on her hand tightened, before he was able to speak, in a halting, broken whisper.

“I t-told you – it was too d-dangerous.”

For several seconds, Kaida forgot how to breathe. “You were right,” she whispered, unable to stop the tears gathering in her eyes.

She leaned forward, slowly, carefully, and put her arms around her brother. He flinched, startled, but after a moment of hesitation, brought his arms up to return the embrace. Kaida cried, unaware of anything but the presence of the brother she had been apart from for so long. She felt how frail he was, his clothes hiding the injuries she knew were there.

Her brother was home, safe, but so hurt and broken and different that she almost felt as if he were still gone. But he was safe, he was with them again, his family. They would get through this – they had to.

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Starting a tag list with @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi! If you’d like to be added just let me know :)

scarred leash (prologue) - m.l

IMPORTANT: This is the prologue for my newest fanfiction and is an introductory to the main character and the themes of this story. It involves sex, bdsm, self harm and themes relating to that matter. It will also not just be sex, but have an actual story and characters falling in love. If any of this is not for you, my other works are much lighter and less “plotty”. I really hope this excites you for the rest of the story, I am very much proud of it. Thank you! - Maisie ♡

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I was sixteen when I chose to leave home without even whispering a word to anyone. Sixteen when I decided I had to go out alone into the world, to make my own way with the little experience I had gathered so far. It took a long time to map out my plan, endless days that turned into sleepless nights. I spent most of my last teenage years memorising a singular night, a night that would lead me into the next stage of my life.

My dusty countryside town was a few hours from the monumental London. I thought about the city all hours of the day, the faraway land that was London. The idea of even stepping foot in it was weird and foreign and still, it was the only place I ever wanted to go. I’d lived in one place for my entire life and rarely ever left the town, in fact I’d only left it a few times. All because of hospital trips. The idea of living away from that place was terrifying and yet, completely exhilarating. Given that back then, I’d been pretty naive to how the world works as I’d never been told of it. I wanted a nice house, nice job, maybe I would meet a nice person and we would have a nice relationship. I had come to learn as my research into London and life in general continued that it wouldn’t be that simple. Everything was complicated. If you wanted a place to live, there was several thousand procedures you had to endure. If you wanted a job, you had to have a thousand different qualifications. I thought after realising all this that my hopes of leaving were over, that was when I had begun thoroughly planning.

Through school and college I was able to obtain the qualifications I needed to move away and work in business. I knew I would have to work for a few years before I gained any sort of fulfilling job, but I had endured years of education, I understood patience. Through research I had found a small flat that I would be able to pay for with money I’d saved over the years and earnings from a job I would later procure. Life would still be difficult, I knew this. I was a young, inexperienced girl moving out to a tumultuous city, it would be dangerous. Though I had concluded long ago that dying in this new fantastical place was far better than peddling on back home, where I would die unknown, just another body in the wet dirt underneath the town church.

I knew by leaving that I was inflicting an unimaginable amount of pain upon my mother, who was as neurotic as she was suffocating. Though I understood she didn’t mean to be, I couldn’t bring myself to feel sympathy for her. My father ran, as did my older brother, leaving me and my ailing grandmother the only people she had left. I wasn’t old enough to understand why my father had just abandoned us but once I grew enough to comprehend love, pain, divorce, I got it. This town was the entire world for my mother but as I got older, she realised it wouldn’t be for me. Instead it would be a restraint.

The first time I recall my mother knowing I would be difficult is when I was eleven. I developed much quicker than most children my own age, breasts already sprouting on my chest, hair spreading over my body. There was a huge wave of name calling, little jabs at my appearance, and while I tried to ignore it, eventually it burrowed beneath my skin. That was the same year I cut myself for the first time. My fingers coiled around a pair of scissors, pressing the metal over the flesh of my arm until a litter of red scratches appeared over the pale skin. Back then, it was just a punishment, a way of controlling myself from completely losing my mind. I stopped it for a while. In natures due course, the other girls grew into their bodies and I was planted back into an unremarkable place among my peers. There was no bullying and so, I forgot about cutting myself for a couple years.

While I had physically matured much quicker than others my age, mentally, it seemed I had been halted somewhere. There appeared no reason for it but the things that my schoolmates were interested in disgusted me. When a friend first showed me porn, I remember feeling vomit rise up in my throat. A woman, bundled up with rope, a muscled, balding man arched over her. The blood curling shrieks that filled the room felt torturous. I couldn’t understand how people liked this, how they liked it enough to pleasure themselves to it. I suppose that was when my fascination with sex begun. Initially, it was hatred, a complete abhorrence for the thing, a vexation that appeared randomly and intensely. If a classmate would mention it, or describe any sort of sexual act, I felt ill. My stomach twisting uncomfortably as the boys all called out derogatory names for the women they had seen in the films and then once again, I grew to hate my body.

I was fifteen the next time I cut myself. It was much more deliberate, much more intense. I had swapped out the dull scissors, for a pocket knife a friend had gifted me. It was able to bury itself much deeper than before and immediately, with the first slice, a tsunami of relief rolled over me. Though, it was a different kind of relief than it had been those years before. I found myself thinking back to the woman I had seen in the porn, the intricate ropes that clasped themselves over her limbs, the pained screams that passed her lips. The man leaning over her figure, how his fingers gripped the flesh of her waist, how he bevelled his teeth down onto her neck until it bled. I found myself recalling each detail of the images I had seen so long ago, and I found myself cutting down into the flesh as the memories scurried across my brain.

I felt guilty afterward, an awful guilt that followed me around for weeks. But then, a boy would mention shapes they had seen in porn and suddenly, I would feel the urge to damage myself again. It spiralled quickly. So quickly that I, myself, was shocked. Instead of recalling images I had seen, I created my own imaginations. Blurred, colourless visions of violence, and sex dulling into one, all as I pulled a knife against my own skin. It continued for months, months of fantasies and cutting and by the time my sixteenth birthday hurdled toward me, I had a plethora of thick scars covering my arms and legs. Though that didn’t faze me when finally, three years after all my friends, my mother bought me a cell phone.  

She would scour over the phone from time to time, checking my messages, calls, emails, and all other forms of communication. Yet, of all the applications on the phone, my mother was the most ignorant to the internet. She didn’t understand the concept of it, let alone know it was built into the mobile and so, I was able to roam free for the first time. And I roamed. My inexperience meant I didn’t know what sites to go to, nor did I know which keywords to search. The titles of the videos that came up almost seemed to be in a foreign language but after a couple of trips to the websites, I gathered the premise of each category. After locking myself in the bathroom, I would go to the sites and type in words such as bondage, submissive, sadism, pain and the things I liked would appear. Though I now understood how people looked at porn, I still didn’t understand why they touched themselves to it. Merely pushing a blade into my leg as I watched seemed to be enough. I wasn’t sure if it was sexual for me, or if it was a punishment thing as it had been when I was younger.

My understanding of my own sexuality went little further than this and my adventures on the websites dwindled until they stopped. It had grown to stop making me feel any better, and so I began inflicting more serious physical harm upon myself. The hospital visits followed soon after, as did my mother’s rantings about how unhealthy that stuff all was for me. For once, she paid attention to me. It almost felt nice, deserved. But I couldn’t hold it for long, as quite abruptly, my grandmothers health began to decline. She died a while after growing sick, and the absence of her in the house made my mother somehow more insufferable. And though we lived in the same house, it was almost as if we were separated by an unseen barrier.

I didn’t completely mind, it gave me enough solitude to go about my planning. Endless research into where I could live in London, what jobs I could obtain with the qualifications I would acquire after leaving sixth form. It took a while to find what would suit me right but after I finally latched onto it, my future suddenly felt full, meaningful almost. I now had something to look forward to, something to work toward. So, I studied harder, concentrated on the daydreams of my new life away from the idle cottage town. My grandmother had left some money to both me and my mother, more to me. I insisted I was able to tend to my own finances and after long bouts of pleading, my mother agreed. I had money, two months left at sixth form and then I could leave.

Time blurs together, memories jumbling, I can barely remember the last few months back home. But what I do recall vividly, is the night I left. I had booked train tickets the week prior and planned to stay in a hotel while I found somewhere to live. I needed to be close to the central city, I knew that much, though, not much else. I’d found a job interview for admin staff at a stockbroking company. My business a level came in handy, and my odd passion for calculations and numbers did too. If I could just get this job, if I could get that flat, I could make it.

I chose to leave during the night, climbing from my bedroom window, scuttling across the streets like a fragile hedgehog. I’d never even snuck from my house once before and the first time I was, I was doing so knowing that I would never come back. With every step I took I thought I would be caught and hauled back home by my hair. Each step further from the slanted bungalow made my heart beat a little faster until, gradually my pulse slowed, and the gentle pitter of my feet grew to calm myself. Though I didn’t feel completely secure until I passed the welcome sign to the town. But once I did, I felt a weight pulled from my stomach. A sudden notion that I had done it, I had gotten away like my father and brother did years ago, like my grandmother had in death. I was now free to do everything I had lost the chance to do through my mother’s coddling. I could drink, do drugs, have sex with an endless stream of people, work. I found myself grinning as I wandered further from town, the dishevelled map directing me toward the train station. The smile pulling at my lips until I worried they would rip. And it only widened when I spotted the station, when I saw my train, when I boarded, when the train began to drift from the docile place I had called home.

I knew that now, I was reborn, I was my own person. It had taken three years to map everything, to prepare myself for life away from the secure blanket I had been smothered with all my life. But now, it had all come to fruit. I dreamt of London on the train, my head pressed against the window, my scarred legs trembling with the thought of all the things that I could do. My chest thick, and heavy with excitement.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

London was everything I had imagined and so much more. It was larger than anything I had ever seen back home, with each building bigger than the next and thousands of vehicles filling the roads. As the train eventually rolled into the city, my eyes clasped over each detail that began to emerge. The differences of the people that wandered the streets, the warmth in the chatter that clambered through the train windows. Everything was so different, so good. I found myself smiling away as I watched from my place in the tube container, my toothy grin shining back at me in the reflection. I was finally there, finally apart of everything I had read about.

Walking the streets was even better, even more real. My feet paced the same tempo as everyone else, my body dipping between the mounds of crowd as I ambled through the roads, glancing down at the map I had printed back in my murky home. The directions were confusing, each street twisting awkwardly to the next and what should have been a five-minute walk turned into two hours of working out where I was. Though eventually, after consulting several locals, I found my way to the flat I had seen in the ad weeks ago. It was in what my mother would have called a ‘ghetto area’ but it was still much larger and greater than the street I had lived on all my life. It looked a normal house though split into three different flats, with a garden leading up to the two doors and ivy climbing up the sides of the home. I’d felt nervous to knock, I wasn’t particularly sure why. Perhaps because the person to answer could have been my future roommate but now, thinking back, I shouldn’t have been.

The person that had answered was taller than me, her gangling arms hanging low, one raised to her mouth as she nursed a cigarette. She was beautiful in an odd way, striking, her nose large and hooked, hair shorted and burnt from styling. She smiled widely when she spotted my obviously anxious face, her voice pouring out in its deepness.

‘The tenant?’ She mumbled through puffs of the intensely clouded cigarette.

‘Um, yeah.’

‘Cool, cool, yeah, sorry, come in.’ Her accent was prominent, thick and harsh but calming all at once. I smiled as I stepped into the flat, the stairs immediate at the entry. I stood beside my single suitcase, my backpack still on my shoulders, her gaze dancing across them before she turned away. She climbed them ahead of me, her feet clattering against the wooden steps and I trailed behind, eyes clinging to each detail of the walls. I wanted to take in as much as I possibly could, I wanted this to be my home, my sanctuary.

Once we stood in the depth of the flat, the girl began to speak again, pulling the cigarette from her mouth for a moment. Throwing her body onto the dusty sofa and awaiting me to sit beside her. I allowed the bag to drop to the floor, my feet pushing it further from me. My lanky limbs folded in on themselves as I perched on the seat, features impossibly too bright for the dullness of the flat.

‘You’re eighteen?’

‘Nineteen.’ I corrected abruptly.

‘Okay, you just have to be eighteen to rent, but that’s fine then,’ she said, inhaling from the stick before releasing the dense cloud into the room, ‘so, um, this is it.’

‘Um, what’s your name?’ I ask quietly.

‘Oh, shit, sorry, I’m Rose, and you?’

‘Ellie.’ I mumbled.

‘Are you the owner?’

She snickered, ‘Uh, no, my uncle is so I get a discount, barely, but, it helps. Um, he doesn’t really care who moves in but I, I do, I live here, so.’

‘Yeah,’

‘You’re not from here?’ She asked, finally pushing the cigarette into the ash tray that sat near her. The smell still strong but dissipating enough for me to open my mouth to speak.

‘No, I um, actually moved here today.’

‘Shit.’

‘Yeah, um, so, I’m new to this.’

‘Where you from?’

‘A little town just outside Sheffield, I, um, hated it, figured it was time to get away.’ I explained as briefly as I could, my fingers instinctively pulling on my sleeves whilst I spoke of home.

‘For a bit or are you staying here long term?’ She questioned, eyes flitting once more over the lack of things I had brought with me. It hadn’t been that I had forgot much, I hadn’t owned many things back home, not things that warranted bringing anyway.

‘Long term.’ I answered immediately.

‘And you’re gonna work here?’

‘Hopefully,’ I chuckled, ‘I have a job interview tomorrow, so, I um, I’d find work anyway, so I could pay, but,’

‘Cool, so, you want to move in then?’ She proposed, her voice soft, speaking the question as though it held no merit. My stomach churned, lips parting in another goofy smile, head nodding vigorously.

Masterlist Part 2

A/N:Tumblr said the first masterlist was too long, but a majority of my work can be found was listed there and it can be found here :)

* = Smut or NSFW

It 2017:

Henry Bowers:

Being Henry’s Little Sister In The Losers Club

Henry Trying To Pick A Fight With His Girlfriend After Butch

Henry With A Domestic Girlfriend

Caught

Henry Teasing His Girlfriend For Being Soft

Henry Finding Out His Girlfriend Is A Mermaid

Trance

Safe Haven

Reunited

Henry Falling For A Juniper Hills Nurse

White Picket Fence Life

I Love You

Henry’s Thoughts When Seeing His Girlfriend Again After 27 Years

Welcome Back

Domestic!Henry When The Twins Are Born

Christmas With Henry

A Father’s Worst Nightmare

*Henry Relieving His Girlfriend In Public

O’Brother

Henry Falls For A Stoic Native American Girl

Road Trip Part 2 Part 3

Being Henry’s Daughter

Henry When His Girlfriend Defends Him From Butch

Unprofessional

Wanted

Henry Dates A Soft Girl

I’m Not Crazy

Patrick Hockstetter:

Patrick Dates A Curious Girl

Patrick Finds Out His Girlfriend Has Tourette’s

Patrick Falls For An Obsessive Girl

Patrick Dating Belch’s Older Brother

*Patrick Finding His Girlfriend’s Diary

Patrick Dating A Girl Afraid Of Fire And Knives

Getting Handcuffed To Patrick For The Day

Patrick Dates A Smart Girl

*Patrick Finding His Boyfriend’s Vibrator

Patrick And Vic Date A Punk Girl

How Patrick Met His Girlfriend

Missing

Christmas With Patrick

House Party Blues

*Yes Daddy

*Patrick When His Curvy Girlfriend Wears Form Fitting Clothes

*His Plan

Patrick Dates A Girl Who Doesn’t Think She’s Real

What Patrick Looks For In A Goddess

Journal

Being Patrick’s Daughter

Victor Criss:

It’s Okay

Patrick And Vic Date A Punk Girl

Snowball Fight

Vic Getting A New Years Gift For His Girlfriend

*Vic Having A Mommy Kink

Being Vic’s Daughter

Belch Huggins:

Belch Dates A Cheerleader

*Belch When His Girlfriend Rides His Thigh

Drunk Belch

*Belch Having A Mommy Kink

Hey Good Lookin’

Funsize

Thick Skinned

See You Around

Belch’s Girlfriend Putting Makeup On Him While He’s Asleep

Boy Next Door

Being Belch’s Daughter

All the boys:

*Lazy Early Morning Sex With The Bowers Gang

The Bowers Gang When Their S/O Slaps Them During A Fight

The Bowers Gang Having A Horror Movie Marathon With Their Best Friend

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriends Have A Panic Attack

The Bowers Gang Catch Their Girlfriends Asleep

The Bowers Gang With Boyfriends Who Like To Get In Fights

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriends Work Hard To Get Them A Birthday Present

The Bowers Gang With Girlfriends Who Have Big Families

The Bowers Gang When Someone Insults Their Chubby Girlfriends

The Bowers Gang’s Girlfriends Being Scared Of Another Member

The Bowers Gang Learning To Cook

The Bowers Gang Have A Sleepover With Their Best Friend

The Bowers Gang Dates Religious Girls

The Bowers Gang’s Quirks That Annoy Their S/Os

The Bowers Gang When Shy Girls Ask Them Out

The Bowers Gang Falling For Their Enemies

The Bowers Gang’s Girlfriends Getting Them To Wear Couple Costumes For Halloween

The Bowers Gang Teaching Their Little Sisters How To Fight

The Bowers Gang’s Little Sisters Having Crushes On Another Member

The Bowers Gang Find Out Their Little Sisters Have A Gang Of Their Own

Hello Again

The Bowers Gang Finding Out Their Girlfriends Are Witches

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriends Fall Hard On Ice

The Bowers Gang With A Trans S/O

The Bowers Gang When Their S/Os Get Braces

The Bowers Gang Trying To Save Their Girlfriends Lives

The Bowers Gang Getting Their Asses Kicked By A Girl They Cat Called

The Bowers Gang Finding Their Girlfriends Old Scars

The Bowers Gang Meeting Their Girlfriends’ Parents

The Bowers Gang Date Girls With ADHD

The Bowers Gang Watching Disney Movies With Their S/Os

The Bowers Gang Meeting Their Daughter’s Boyfriends

The Bowers Gang With A Bipolar S/O

Poly!Bowers Gang:

The Bowers Gang’s S/O Tells Them They Like Patrick’s Roughness

Belch’s Reaction to The Gang’s Girlfriend Fixing Up Amy

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriend Says Another One Member’s Name In Bed

The Bowers Gang With A Mob Tied Girlfriend

The Bowers Gang Helping Their Girlfriend Get Her Mind Off Loosing A Relative

The Bowers Gang Finds Out Their Girlfriend Lives In An Orphanage

The Bowers Gang With A Good Cook Girlfriend

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriend Is Nervous To Be Out With Them

Flirt

Popular

The Bowers Gang Falling For A Stripper

The Bowers Gang Dating Bev’s Older Sister

*Working A Summer Job With The Bowers Gang

The Bowers Gang Date A Girl From Another Gang

The Bowers Gang Help Their Girlfriend Through Her Parents’ Divorce

Present

The Bowers Gang Date A Teacher’s Pet

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriend Gets Valentine’s Gifts From Others

The Bowers Gang Date A Roller Derby Girl

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriend Fights Someone For Them

The Bowers Gang When Their Girlfriend Is On Her Period

The Bowers Gang When The Girl They Like Lays Out What She Wants In The Relationship

The Bowers Gang With A Girlfriend In A Band

The Bowers Gang With A Girlfriend Who Has Anemia

*Talking Body *Part 2

Dinner For Five

Deep Depths

Sketchbook

The Bowers Gang Date A Half Devil Girl

The Bowers Gang With An S/O Who Has An Eye For Lipsticks

The Bowers Gang With An S/O Who Knows Hair Care

Nicotine

The Bowers Gang Date A Girl Who Went To Juvy

The Bowers Gang Taking A Long Plane Trip With Their Girlfriend

The Bowers Gang Date A Mom Friend

PatHen:

Ransom

How Patrick Keeps Guys Away From Henry

It Chapter 2:

Ben Hanscom:

Ben When His Girlfriend Has A Migraine

Going To A Christmas Party With Ben

*Ben Getting Pegged

Richie Tozier:

Richie’s Best Friend Helping Him Come To Terms With His Sexuality

Human Diary

A Punch To The Face

Funny Guy

Baby Mama

Beverly Marsh:

Henry’s Brother Dates Bev

Bev With A Chubby Girlfriend

Eddie Kaspbrak:

Baby Mama

Stanley Uris:

Makeout Sessions With Stan

Mike Hanlon:

Mike Finding Out His Best Friend Avenged His Parents

Bill Denbrough:

Makeout Sessions With Bill

All The Losers:-

Poly Losers Club:-

Benverly:-

The 100:

Jasper Jordan:-

Bellamy Blake:-

John Murphy:-

Monty Green:-

Raven Reyes:-

Octavia Blake:-

Harper McIntyre:-

Emori:-

Bellarke:-

The Flash:

Barry Allen:-

Cisco Ramon:

Day In

Caitlin Snow:

Caitlin Dates Cisco’s Sister

Killer Frost:-

Ralph Dibny:

Snowbarry:

How Killer Frost Feels About Barry And Caitlin’s Relationship

Being In A Poly Relationship With Caitlin And Barry

Bloodline

Nolan Rayburn:

Nolan Dates A Paranoid Girl

How Nolan Acts When He’s Jealous

*Helping Out

*Nolan When His Girlfriend Rides His Thigh

Christmas With Nolan

Savior

I’m A Flirt

Nolan When His Girlfriend Falls Hard On Ice

Nolan’s Soulmate

Nolan Dates A Psychology Major

Nolan Dates A Girl With ADHD

Nolan Catching His Girlfriend Singing

Nolan Helping His S/O Take Care Of Their Sick Kid

Black Mirror:

Ryan “Trick” Trebecki:

Trick Dates A Paranoid Girl

You’re Home

*VIP

Trick When His Girlfriend Falls On Ice

Trick Helping His S/O Take Care Of Their Sick Kid

Mrs.Fletcher:

Julian Spitzer:

Right Here

Convenient Encounters

*NSFW ABC’S

Relationship ABC’S

13 Reasons Why:

Zach Dempsey:-

Supernatural:

Dean Winchester:

Age Gap

*Gorgeous

Sam Winchester:-

Castiel:

Baby Angel

Jack Kline:

Just Gone

Jack Comforting His S/O After A Rough Week

Jack And His Girlfriend Getting Caught By The Boys

*Restless

*Jack Getting Pegged

*Jack Getting Intimate With His FTM Boyfriend

Charlie Bradbury:

Charlie Going To Comic Con With Her Girlfriend And Nerding Out

Claire Novack:

Safe

Team Free Will:

Surprising Team Free Will With A Karaoke Machine

Team Free Will When Crowley Gets A Hell Hound In The Bunker

The Umbrella Academy:

Diego Hargreeves:

*Diego Getting Pegged

Allison Hargreeves:-

Klaus Hargreeves:

Klaus’ Best Friend Getting Stuck In The Future With Five

Ben Hargreeves:-

Vanya Hargreeves:-

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington:

Being In A Poly Relationship With Robin And Steve

Jonathan Byers:-

Robin Buckley:

Bullseye

Having A Secret Crush On Robin In High School

Being In A Poly Relationship With Robin And Steve

Security

Robin Dating A Girl With Anxiety

Uncharted

Nathan Drake:-

Sam Drake (including 19 y/o Sam):-

Rafe Adler:-

Harry Flynn:-

Elena Fisher:-

Chloe Frazer:-

Nadine Ross:-

Misc:

Rodrick Heffley:

Rodrick Dates An E-Girl

Rodrick Dating A Rebellious Catholic Girl

Rodrick With An Insecure S/O

Rodrick Dates An Athlete

*Busted

Drummer Boy

Rodrick Dates A Popstar

Rodrick Dates Rowley’s Older Sister

*In Uniform

Game On

Rodrick Trying And Failing To Ask His Crush Out

Adam:-

Casper Galloway:-

Leo Strange:-

Dean Taylor:-

Freddy Klein:-

Alexander

*First Time

Alec:

Relationship ABC’S

Boots Conley:

Boots Dates A Soft Straight Edge Girl

* NSFW ABC’S

Relationship ABC’S

Snowbird:-

AU:

The 100 Arrowverse:-

Supernatural IT:-

Request; there’s a Veela Ravenclaw but she’s prettier than her cousins so they don’t like her, They know that she has a crush on Fred so they all flirt with him until she loses it and snoggs him. She’s also an Ollivander and she doesn’t like it that she’s so pretty. one of the few persons who know who’s Fred and who’s George, everyone thought she was an Hufflepuff first. I hope it’s not complicated🍒✨🏹

Hi hun, I tired my best so I hope you like it!

🛑requests are open🛑

⚠️miss spelled words, some swear words, crappy writing, kind of long, not edited cause I wanted to get this done before my birthday party⚠️

————————

Y/n Ollivander was 11 when she first saw Fred Weasley and fell in love.

She was with her dad saying goodbye when she turned her head to see two red headed boys with their mother and older brothers and she couldn’t take her eyes off of one of the two.

“Y/n are you alright?” He father asked

“I’m yes, just nervous.”

“Don’t be, you’re the best wand maker I know. Next me of course. You’ll do fine in Hogwarts.” She nodded and gave her dad one last hug before running off to catch the train.

She sat in the same cabinet as her cousin Amber who was always jealous of her good looks, kind heart, and smarts.

“Ugh little miss perfects here.” She mumbled crossing her arms.

“I’m not perfect Amber.” She said sitting across from her.

“You’re part Veela, if you’re perfect.”

The two didn’t talk for the rest of their trip to Hogwarts. She couldn’t get her mind off of the pretty red headed boy she sat at the plate form.

Years after that Y/n never forgot about the red headed boy (later learning his name was Fred Weasley)

Y/n often saw him around school and she even had muffle history with him giving her more time to look at him.

Amber saw how in love she was with him and being the spiteful Slytherin she was decided that she will make Fred fall in love with her instead of Y/n.

Y/n was walking down the hallway towards the great hall for dinner when she heard her cousins high pitched annoying laugh.

“You’re so funny Freddie.” She said putting her hand on his chest trying to flirt with the guy she liked.

“Who are you single?” She asked

“Well ah-“

“You know how about we fix that? You could date me!” She said with a big fake smile.

Y/n at this point was fuming, Amber knew she liked Fred and that she was planning on asking him out.

Angrily she walked over to her cousin and pushed her away from Fred.

“You bitch! You knew I liked him and you are just doing this to get back at me! I didn’t nothing wrong to you! You’re just jealous of me for no reason!”

“Oh little miss perfect is angry.” She laughed standing up and crossing her arms.

“Little Miss perfect mad that for once she can’t get the boy she wants?”

“Why are you so mean to me? I didn’t ask to be part Veela if anything I hate it! If I could give my ‘gift’ I would just so you would like me! I don’t like being pretty and having people think I get everything I want. Just go away and leave my life alone!” Y/n yelled at Amber who stood there stone faced before walking away.

“Wow, I’ve never seen a Hufflepuff get that mad before.” He laughed crossing his arms

“I’m not a Hufflepuff, I’m a Ravenclaw.”

“You sure fooled me, you’re so nice and quite not stuck up like the rest of them. I’m going to great hall for dinner, wanna wall with me so you can protect me from other girls who may try to flirt with me?” Y/n blushed and laughed fixing her hair nervously.

“That would be great.”

Mob AU! "Playthings" Part 12

(Note: This was written by an anonymous user. I had to log in on my account to copy/paste and re-submit it because tumblr was being dumb.)

[Link to mob!au anon’s “Playthings" fic tag]

[Start at Part 1]*

(*Note: Link is editable for other parts, just change the number. For mobile users, tag is “playthings part1”)

“Loki?”

“Up here.”

Val walked up the large staircase followed closely by Tony and Strange. They were fairly certain they were close to having enough evidence to arrest and charge Gast. The DA was chomping at the bit for the case to move forward and so was the State Attorney. There was a reluctance on the Federal level, but no one was sure whether that was politically corruption or simply because the entire case rested on Loki. And Loki wasn’t exactly a star witness.

Over the past weeks, he had admitted that he and his brother had ran drug operations for Sakaar, helped pay off and intimidate witnesses, and had been involved in a few murders. Naturally, while this all could be explained with the two being forced, everyone knew that the Defense in whatever trial came to pass would have a field day. That was, if Loki testified.

Today, they found him in a bedroom in Odin’s large estate home. He was sitting on the beige carpet, holding a book in his hands. He didn’t look up when they entered, his eyes fixed on the book.

“He lost this,” he said simply before they could speak. “He left it here a few weeks before we…left. He searched the entire apartment and couldn’t find it. It was a library book and…” Loki shook his head.

[read more cut]

“So uhm, this is Thor’s room,” Strange asked gently. Val had to hide a snort. The room was filled with old sport trophies and medals. Photos of the older brother smiling with former classmates and presumably old girlfriends and boyfriends were pinned to a corkboard behind a metal desk. The closet was slightly ajar and one could see gym shoes and several plaid shirts poking out. From all they had learned about Loki, this room most certainly did not fit him.

The brunette shrugged. “They kept it just like he left it. They even put out his laundry he had left behind.”

“Why aren’t you in your room?”

“After M-mom passed, I guess Dad felt…he needed the space.”

“Shit,” Tony hissed under his breath.

“It’s fine, really,” Loki tossed the book to the side. “Whether or not I got kidnapped, Dad would have changed out my room for a new office or trophy room or parlor or even a pool room. He was already planning it when I packed my things for college, but Mom told him to wait a year or so. Guess I got a few years reprieve.”

“We all process grief differently,” Strange began before being cut off.

“I WASN’T DEAD! I WAS JUST AS ALIVE AS THOR!” He glared at them, his eyes red and shining with tears. “HE NEVER… no one ever…only Mom and Thor…” He hugged himself, still defiantly staring at them. “You don’t even really care about me, do you?”

“Of course we do, kid,” Stark leaned in from where he was sitting on the warn out leather computer kid. “We’re trying to make this as painless as possible.”

“You’re trying to build a case. Once the trial is over, I’m just an old witness. You won’t care anymore. Hell, once I stop giving evidence, I’ll probably stop seeing you altogether won’t I?” He turned to Strange. “I’m a client to you. A patient. You’re paid to care about me. But you’re expensive. Dad won’t like that. You’ll be gone soon. Probably once he,” pointed at Tony, “tries to bill him. Oh, if it was Thor, you’d probably be so well paid that you wouldn’t need to take on a new client. But not for me. Not the fucked up adopted kid.”

“What about me, Loki?” Val asked.

He met the challenge head on. “You said it yourself! You did ‘wrong’ by me and now you’re trying to make it right! Well, guess what?! You can’t! What’s done is done! It worked out for the best for you. You rose through the ranks! I don’t know what else you want or need besides a clear conscience, but you don’t need me!”

“Is that why you left this morning? And yesterday? Because you feel no one cares?”

He shrugged. “I went for a walk.”

“Walks usually don’t involve cabs into the city.”

“Mine do.”

“Kid-”

“He loved me, you know? He cared.” Loki laid back onto the floor, stretching and running his fingers through his hair. It was almost a seduction gesture the way, as he dreamily stared past them. “He always said I was the prettiest. He liked when we slept in his bed to have me sleep in between him and Thor. We could make him happy. He used to come home in the foulest moods, and we’d cheer him up. He was so funny, he could make us laugh. I remember,” he giggled, “I remember one time Thor asked if we could have a puppy. Thor always wanted a puppy. And Grandmaster said, ‘Sparkles, why do you want a puppy when you have an old hound dog like me?’ And he got down on his hands and knees and crawled around barking and sniffing and growling at us. And then two days later, we got a puppy! One time, I got really really sick. I had a fever and I could barely stay awake. He held me on his lap and spoon fed me soup for two days. He and Thor would help me bathe and change my clothes. When my fever broke he nearly cried. ”

“Loki, he-”

“LOVED ME!” He sat up eyes focused and furious.

“He kidnapped and raped you!”

“Valkyrie!”

“What are the four of you doing in here?!” Odin was at the doorway, not daring to enter. Behind him was the security he had hired, a gruff man with a scarlet mohawk. The man had a permanent smirk and seemed to enjoy a cop, an ADA, and a psychiatrist being yelled at.

“We were gathering-” Tony began but was cut off.

“Not in this room! Never in this room. You may use my office or the guest room. As we discussed, didn’t we Loki.”

Loki stood, slowly. He pulled out his cellphone, a simple smart phone that he had managed to find a neon blue and yellow cover for, and checked something. He barely looked any of them in the eye. “Yes, Father.”

Odin nodded and glared at them as they filed out. He slammed the door to the room and watched as they paraded downstairs before turning and leaving, the security guard left behind to watch them with a smug smirk on his face.

“Uhm,” Tony nervously shifted foot to foot. “As much as I love feeling like a naughty middle schooler again, you think you up to talking today or are we going to have more emotional outbursts.”

“I have to talk,” Loki finally looked up from his phone, putting it away. “It’s either that or get kicked out.”

“Two steps forward, one massive fucking step back,” Strange whispered to Val. She nodded her agreement. Her eyes went up to the security guard who grinned broadly at her, showing a row of crooked teeth that reminded her vaguely of a shark’s mouth.

~2016~

“Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!”

Loki rubbed his eye as he entered the kitchen area of the penthouse. “I’m old!”

Grandmaster dramatically gasped. “Old?! My Lo Lo?! Never!”

“I am. I’m twenty five. Quarter of a century.”

“Fuck, the hell am I than? Ancient?” Thor asked as he threw a towel over his shoulder. “How do you want your eggs?”

“Fried or poached,” Grandmaster quipped only to be swatted by another towel.

“Doc says egg whites for you. I was asking Loki.”

“Poached please.”

“I swear to god if you give him one of your eggs-”

Loki stuck out his tongue. “It’s my birthday!”

Thor threw up his hands and turned back to the stove, loudly grumbling.

Gast chuckled, winking at the younger, leaning over the island he was sitting at to kiss him. He accepted it gladly, throwing his arms around the other. “So, you get a choice. Open your gifts now or wait until this evening at Pimpernel.”

“We’re going to Pimpernel?! For my birthday?!”

“Of course!”

“You act like he doesn’t take us anywhere!” Thor called over his shoulder. “If you recall we went to Scarcella’s for my birthday.”

“Quit bragging, Sparkles and finish breakfast.”

“I want my present now!” Loki bounced on the tips of his toes.

“Alright, alright sweetheart. One moment.” Grandmaster slowly stood. He adjusted his tan bed robe and leisurely walked back to his bedroom, humming and singing all the way.

Once he was gone, Loki raced to Thor’s side. “Do you know what it is?”

The older shrugged as he cracked several eggs into a pot of boiling water.

“Come on! There’s no way he didn’t run it by you!”

“I have been sworn to secrecy.”

“Asshole! Tell me!”

“Hey, what’s all this!?” Grandmaster had returned, holding a packet of papers.

“He’s grilling me for information!”

“Lo Lo!” It was said in a mock scandalised voice.

He stamped his foot and pouted. They always said he was cute when he pouted. Thor seemed now to agree because he leaned over and kissed him.

“Just go see. You’ll like it.” He whispered, rubbing their noses together.

“What about your present?” the younger brother whispered into the other’s lips.

“In a minute. Go see.”

He walked back to the Grandmaster who smiled as he presented the packet of papers to him. He had barely opened them when the older man proclaimed, “A trip to London! Three weeks, with all the museums and tourist traps you can imagine. And, yes, a trip to the Harry Potter Studio Tour!”

Loki’s eyes swelled with tears. “Really?! We’re going? When?”

“In two weeks. You two will need to pick out a new wardrobe. So prep for a trip to the shops!”

He squealed and nearly knocked over Thor plating the food. “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Before he could reply, the Grandmaster’s cell rang. He kissed both his boys and left the room again, this time with no singing or frivolity. Business call, then.

“Y'know we’re only going because he has business there, right?”

“I know, but think of all the places we can see! And no one knows us there!” Loki curled into Thor’s side. “We can be…us there. We can actually wear them!” He rubbed Thor’s shoulder where the sun and moon tattoo was just visible where his shirt slipped down. “And he might be too busy to notice!”

He could feel Thor grinning as he hugged him close, kissing the matching tattoo on his body. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

“What about your present?”

“I sketched it two nights ago. I may have been drunk so it could look like shit…”

“Show me!”

The blonde shook his head but took out his phone and showed the sketch of the rose tattoo he had been working on. “Still want it for your hip, right? And you wanted to look like Tyrell sigil?”

“Or my other thigh.”

“Well this is only part one of it. Still need to sketch out the other sigils too.”

“I know.”

“You may have to wait for-”

“I know.”

“Alright, back!” Gast re-entered the kitchen. “Doesn’t that look fantastic.”

“Your doctor is going to kill me for letting you have yolk and bacon.”

“Oh don’t worry, Sparkles. I won’t let anything happen to my boys.”

For The Kids - A Harry Styles Imagine

PAIRING: Harry/Y/N

RATING: PG

WORD COUNT: 6k

A/N: first off i did write this in a bit of a different format so sorry if things seem weird or a little off, idk if i will always wirte ‘one shots’ like this but yeah... this was requested by an anon and i got this little idea :) hope you like it!

“I would’ve had I know where the father of my fucking kids was!”

“I was on a fucking plane here!” Harry yells back at her.

That’s when the cries of little Brinley echo throughout the house. She snap back into reality, stepping away from how close she had gotten to Harry and blink back the few tears that were threatening to spill over. Harry meets her gaze and scowls.

“I’ll get her,” he says but she’s quick to put her arm out and stop him.

“No, I will,” she mutters, “you haven’t been around the past while. You don’t know what she needs to calm down these days,”

or

The one when a divorce can’t get in the way of a Happy Christmas for the kids.

⏤

“Look guys, look how pretty it is here,” Y/N says, pulling up the car to the large cabin that Harry had rented for the family this Christmas. 

When he mentioned Aspen here in America, she was a little surprised he didn’t want to drag the kids on a long flight to spend the holidays with his family after she was done with her own family on the East Coast. After the divorce last Summer, she was completely ready to split up the time with their kids for things like birthdays and Christmas - in this case the youngest baby’s birthday was on Christmas. But Harry had a different idea, and she wasn’t opposed to it, she could suck it all up and act like a family for the kids.  

Being the worried parent she always was, she had called ahead about an hour or two ago to let the company know she and the kids were close to arriving. Harry had said he’d be there at the same time. But as she pulls up, she only notice a company car in the driveway. After putting the car in park and cutting the engine, she get out of the car at the same time her wild 6-year-old son pushes open his own door - hitting you while doing so. 

“Sorry mommy,” he says while stepping out of the car. She reachs out for his arm while he nearly takes a slip on the wet snow. 

“Just, be careful please, Jamie,” she says to her little boy, he nods and his mess of brown curls wiggle as he does so. The sight of his hair makes her smile a little, suppose he rubbed his head around in his car seat during his nap on the way here. “I’m going to grab your sister from the other door, hold my hand and please don’t run around,” she tells him, earning a short nod back. 

Her first born, little James Robin Styles, was growing into his own these days. No longer was he holding onto his mommy’s leg while going to the store, now he was proudly getting his own ‘shopper in training’ cart and running away from her whenever he could. The amount of time-outs and yelling she’s had to do these past five months since the divorce makes her heart hurt a little. He’s acting out, knowing that his daddy isn’t around now because that’s his choice not because of another tour or promo for a movie. She shakes her head at the thoughts, sadness falling over her, and reach into the car to unbuckle her sweet baby daughter. 

Well, Brinley Anne Styles, was turning one this Christmas but she would always be her baby. Brin’s face scrunches up as Y/N gently scoop her up from her carseat. She makes a whimpering protest as the cold hits her face, causing Y/N to grab her blanket and wrap her up in your arms. Then she shuts the car door and hope the front door is open before Y/N’s babies freeze out here. They’re both just so used to Sunny California.

“Welcome, Mrs Styles!” the head of the luxury cabin rental company grins ear to ear as Y/N walk through the large front door. She decides to not correct him, it was something she’s been dealing with for months now and was tired of it truthfully. 

“Hello,” she smiles at the man. “Oof,” she mutters as Jamie pulls at her arm while talking a million miles an hour about all the cool stuff around the house. 

“Pretty exciting, hey kiddo?” The man smiles, watching Jamie jump around onto the leather couch - which causes Y/N to want to shout at him but she refrains while in front of the owner.  “Mr Styles is arriving later?” he asks, looking back at Y/N now. 

“Uh, yeah, he is,” she replies, although she’s completely unaware of his whereabouts. It’s been that way for eight months now. 

The owner goes on about the few things she needed to know about the place. Showing her how to work the crazy build-in touch screen system that worked the lights, speakers, and heating for the whole house. Brinley starts to fuss in her arms while he’s going through it all, so she puts her down and watch as Brin struggles but walks slowly to where her brother is playing with the TV remotes. Which causes Y/N to walk away from the owner and take the remotes away quickly. 

“Sorry,” she says. 

“No, it’s fine, I should go now anyways. You guys enjoy your stay and I’m always just a phone call away if you have any questions,” he says before letting himself out of the house. 

There’s no time to take in the place before the kids are both whining about being hungry. Brinley starts to cry, Jamie yelling about his stomach hurting as the drama queen he’s always been. And all Y/N can do is step up and be the mother she’s grown into being. If someone was to tell her 8 years ago that she’d have two beautiful kids and be practically raising them on her own now, she’d never believe them. Y/N never saw herself as a mother, she thought maybe one day in her thirties maybe have one kid and struggle at being a mom - but then she met Harry and all of that changed. 

Jamie was an accident, two years into a relationship and Y/N had a small bump growing fast. She worried so much but Harry was always there to tell her how amazing she was going to be and how he couldn’t wait to have a family with her. Fast forward 6 years and it all fell apart. All good things coming to an end and all that crap, right? 

“Jamie, please, sweetie just one picture for mommy,” she says to him as he starts to run away from where his sister sat outside on the bench in the backyard. After eating a brunch, Y/N changed them both into some warmer clothes, snow pants and jackets that were purchased by their dad only months ago when the trip was planned, and now you were all outside. 

“I want to go,” Jamie whines while pulling away from your hold. 

“Fine,” she sighs and lets him go. He starts screeching while running through the snow filled backyard. Watching him go, she smiles at how happy be seems. Suppose an action shot of her little boy would have to do. 

After some fun outside, Y/N’s little ones are tired right out. Jamie passes out on the couch, hand still in a bowl of cereal she had given him, while Brinley was a little more fussy to fall asleep. So she sets up a bed of pillows and fluffy blankets on the floor by the fireplace and her little green eyes fluttered close soon enough. Y/N stands in the middle of the open concept ‘living room/dining room/kitchen/foyer’ and look around for the first time. The place really is incredible. She just hoped her ex husband decided to show up soon to enjoy the holidays with his kids. 

With the kids asleep Y/N utilizes the time to make up some dinner. Deciding some steamed veggies, rice and chicken were quick and easy enough for the first night on vacation. Just as she’s plating it up, Jamie wakes and of course he manages to step on his sister - which turns everything into an all out crying and yelling fit. 

It’s not till after forcing the two to eat and getting them ready for bed, tucked all in and having night lights all around for Brinley that Y/N finally get to relax a little. What a long, tiring day, she thinks while walking over to the wine cellar and grabbing the first bottle of red you see. After pouring herself a glass, she pulls out her phone and tries calling Harry again - it goes straight to voicemail, so she dials her sister instead. 

“Hey! How’s Aspen?” She asks. 

“Not so great, but there is a wine cellar thank god,” she grunts while bringing the glass to her lips. 

“What’s wrong? Jamie still acting up?” 

“Yeah,” she sighs and shut her eyes, leaning back into the couch. “He’s just been all over the place, and I get he’s excited, but then he stepped on Brin and then neither of them wanted to eat dinner and then they were both scared to sleep somewhere new but over an hour later and I’m finally sitting in silence,” 

“Wait, where’s Harry?” 

“Beats me,” she mumbles, having another sip of wine. 

“Aw, Y/N,” 

“He said he’d be here this morning, I don’t know, maybe he got his flights mixed up,” 

“Yeah, he’ll come eventually,” her sister says, trying to make Y/N feel better. It’s what she’s best at. Even though she was Y/N’s younger sister, she always had her back through these past 6 years. From babysitting Jamie in his younger days so Y/N and Harry could go on dates, to being in the delivery room for Brin’s birth when Harry couldn’t make it. And through the divorce too, she was just the best through it all. 

“He hasn’t answered his phone all day,” Y/N mentions in a low voice, eyes zoned out on her glass of wine. 

“Well, last I heard he was in Asia for some movie thing,” her sister says, “he’s probably just on a flight,” 

“He could’ve called or texted or something,” she state bitterly. 

“Yeah, you’re right he should have,” she sighs on the other end. “Well, tell me about the gifts you got the kids again,” she urges Y/N, changing the subject to something she knew her older sister was excited about. It would be Brin’s first real Christmas and her first birthday so this year was very special. Suppose that’s another reason Harry wanted this family vacation instead of splitting up time - knowing very well Y/N would get her exact birthday and he’d deal with whatever day he got. Custody in favour of a young mom, who earned less money and had a less busy work schedule, was exactly how the situation worked out. 

The call with Y/N’s sister comes to an end and she finishes half a bottle of wine while watching whatever crap TV was on. She didn’t have the energy to look through the channels or to even get onto Netflix to continue whatever she was currently binge watching. She just sat there, overthinking too much and drinking wine while doing so. 

Suddenly the front door opens, sounds of a large suitcase rolling in follows too. Y/N don’t care to look his way, instead she sits there and finish her glass of wine. Harry’s boots hit the wooden flooring as he making his way into the house. 

“Oh, hey,” Harry’s voice carries through the room as he notices his ex wife. 

“Hi,” she says back, her voice monotone now. 

“The kids asleep?” he asks, leaving his suitcase to walk towards her. 

“Well it is like eleven at night, so I sure hope they’re asleep,” 

“Right,” Harry nods. “They like the place?” Harry asks, Y/N notices in the corner of her eye she can see him go a full spin to take in the house you’re staying at. 

“Sure did,” she answers. “Where have you been?” She asks, looking to where he stands just a few feet away now. He looks good, as if she expects anything else. His hair’s short again, having to be cut for his movie role she assumes, while he has puffy bags under his lovely green eyes. He’s wearing a Gucci sweater, space themed - an older one Y/N once stole on several occasions when they were still together - and some black joggers too. She hasn’t seen him is nearly a month now, he’s been busy with work, suppose she missed him a little bit.

“My flight got delayed,” he answers. 

“And you couldn’t answer a call because?” 

“Why are you being so bitchy to me? I just got here, Y/N, can’t you hold back for a few more minutes, let me settle in maybe?” He huffs while throwing back his Gucci duffle bag on the couch. She rolls her eyes at him. 

“Oh excuse me for being a little upset with you, Harry,” she says, voice slightly raised now.

“And here I thought this holiday could be civil between us,” he scoffs, his own eyes rolling too.

“And here I thought I could trust you again, and you go on to prove yet again that I freaking can’t,” she counters back. Wine makes Y/N loosen up a little bit, making her a bit more brave and letting that mouth of hers run sometimes too. Harry knew it as well, so when his eyes find the bottle and empty glass on the coffee table he just snorts.

“How much of that wine have you had? Cause you’re not making any bloody sense right now,” he says.

“Oh now you’re going to go on to call me a fucking drunk, that’s sweet coming from you,” she fumes back at him.

Y/N is being a proper bitch, she knows she is. But it’s times like this when she can’t help but fight back. Hers and Harrys divorce didn’t just happen for no good reason. There were issues, ones Y/N’s tipsy brain didn’t care while bringing them back up again. Trust, liquor, running away with answering his phone - those were just a few things that brought her to get ahold of her lawyer (who’s also Y/N’s father) and serve Harry with divorce papers while he was away on tour. A tour he barely invited her and the kids on, a tour that consisted on him drinking whisky on stage and blaming his piss poor behaviour on the fact his fans have grown up with his as well. Everything had changed, so she left him. 

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, go to fucking bed,” Harry says.

“I would’ve had I know where the father of my fucking kids was!” 

“I was on a fucking plane here!” Harry yells back at her. 

That’s when the cries of little Brinley echo throughout the house. She snaps back into reality, stepping away from how close she had gotten to Harry and blink back the few tears that were threatening to spill over. Harry meets her gaze and scowls. 

“I’ll get her,” he says but she’s quick to put out her arm and stop him. 

“No, I will,” she mutters, “you haven’t been around the past while. You don’t know what she needs to calm down these days,” 

Brinley was tucked away in the same queen bed Y/N would be cuddled in with her. She still slept with her mom every night, despite her grandparents buying her a big girl bed just last month. As she walk into the bedroom, she flips on the lamp beside the bed and sees her little girl sitting up on her knees with wet red cheeks and hands grabbing out for her mommy. 

“Shh, it’s okay baby, mommy’s got you,” she coos to Brinley while grabbing ahold of her little body, cradling her close to her chest while finding her blanket that had been tucked under the pillow. She grips onto the soft material and cried into Y/N’s chest. While rocking her little body, she paces the room slowly, trying to get her back to sleep. Next step was to hum once of her favourite songs. 

“Sweet creature, sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home,” Y/N sings his lyrics softly, looking down at Brin’s fluttering eyes before continuing. 

Brinley falls asleep in her arms only moments later, but she keeps holding her, staring down at her soft perfect skin and dark long lashes. She’s beautiful, a future heartbreaker that’s for sure. Just like her daddy. Y/N presses a kiss to her forehead before bending down to set her on the bed, bringing a blanket over her little body. 

“Still falls asleep to my songs, huh?” Harry’s voice startles Y/N, causing her head to snap to where he stands by the door. 

“Yeah, she does,” she whispers. 

Harry steps forward to the bed, taking in his little baby girl. He hasn’t been around as much as he was for the first year of Jamie’s life. Harry’s been working, Y/N understood that, but with Jamie he took nearly two years off before getting back to his fast paced life. This year with the divorce and his tour ending and his new movie, he’s only seen the kids about once a month. So Y/N lets him reach down and kiss Brin before turning away to pull open a drawer and find her sleeping attire. 

“M’sorry for not getting here this morning,” Harry says softly as he stands straight up again. 

“It’s fine,” she mutters back, putting down her clothes on the bed. 

“It’s not, this is suppose to be for the kids and I messed it up already,” he says. She meets his gaze and leans into the bed while thinking of how to respond. Because he was entirely right. This wasn’t time for you two to fight, it was supposed to be happy for Christmas for the kids. 

She feels her head spin from the wine she drank. Which causes her to take a seat on the bed, carefully to not wake Brinley. Harry watches her intently, making sure she doesn’t fall over. Y/N gets this weird flashback, back in thier early years of being together when she’d have a bit too much to drink and he’d take care of her - cuddling her till she fell asleep. 

“Speaking of,” Harry begins, chuckling a little, “Jamie needs a bit of a haircut, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” she agrees, chuckling as well. “He just doesn’t, um, listening very much so I kinda feared bringing him in and him moving around while someone tries to cut off his beautiful curls,” 

“His dad doesn’t like his hair cut either,” Harry mentions. 

“But you got it cut again,” she states, “for a movie?” 

“Yeah,” Harry nods. She yawns then, moving a hand back to envelope Brin’s as she fights back sleep to keep talking to Harry. “I’ll let you get some sleep,” Harry yawns suddenly too, “suppose my jet lag is going to catch up sooner than later,” 

“Asia? That’ll be hard,” she exclaims. 

“I’ll get through it, always have,” he shrugs. Then he lets his hand fall down to brush her arm before he gives her a small smile, “sleep well, love,” 

She don’t respond, just sitting there staring down at her hand in Brin’s and thinking of the days she’d be sharing a bed with Harry and not staying across the hallway. Y/N sighs and stands up to get changed before flipping off the lamp and getting into bed. Hopefully tomorrow was better than today. 

⏤

Y/N woke up in a panic the next morning.

Waking to the sound of something banging. She doesn’t recall the last morning she hadn’t been woken up by Brin’s grabbing hands or Jamie shouting and crying. But she had a bloody heart attack when neither of those things happened. All of a sudden she hears Brinley screeching of excitement and Jamie laughing, the sounds bring a smile to her lips. Rolling over in bed once more, stretching out her limbs, Y/N takes another few moments to herself before getting ready to join them downstairs. 

Harry hadn’t been able to sleep from the jet lag and time changes so he woke up earlier than anyone else. Jamie was up only moments after him, hearing his feet padding across the floor into the bathroom, Harry looks out his door to see his son reach up on his tippy toes and turn on the bathroom light before closing the door. That’s when Harry decides to wake up Brinley now too, walking across the hallway to open Y/N’s door as quietly as he can. Only with his movements, his daughter sits up in bed and rubs her eyes tiredly before seeing her daddy standing there. 

As carefully as he can, not trying to wake his ex wife at all, he walks around the bed and lifts Brin into his arms. Kissing her a many times as he possibly can while whispering to her, “daddy missed you so much, you’re so big now huh Brinny Bunny?” 

Once they get downstairs, Harry messes with the touch screen and manages to turn on the lights and open the curtains of the floor to ceiling windows that rounded the back of the house, looking out to a beautiful view of the mountains. He then finds a way to the music system, of course, asking Jamie what he wanted to listen to as he jumps on the couch - already a ball of energy since he first saw his dad upon getting out of the bathroom. 

Harry’s got eggs in one pan and bacon in another, potato hash in the oven on low since he finished it first. Jamie decided he wants to help with toast, while Brinley started to cry anytime Harry tried to put her down. That’s till she sees her mommy walking down the large staircase. Y/N’s wearing a lavender cable knit sweater that’s rolled up a few times at her wrists with a pair of black skin tight leggings, wool socks upon her feet too while her hair’s wavy while let down. As he watches her walk towards him, arms out for Brin, he realizes the sweater was once his - way back years and years ago. 

“Whatcha making?” she asks, then she turns to little Brin and tickles her before speaking in a baby voice, “huh? What are you and daddy making for breakfast?” 

“M’making toast!” Jamie cheers from behind her, causing Y/N to turn around and give him a smile as he tries to butter a piece of toast - not entirely too well of course. 

“Way to go, buddy,” she smiles and walk over to give him a high five. 

Y/N tries her best to help out Harry with breakfast before all four of them take a seat at the dinner table and enjoy the lovely meal. Jamie ate up everything and even suggested himself to go get changed for the day before either Y/N or Harry could tell him to. The day would be full of family activities, starting with some things up on the mountain. Harry helped Jamie every step of the way, and Jamie stayed glued to his dad’s hip the whole time too. While Y/N would happily stay back and hold Brinley while Harry explained to Jamie how to hold onto the tubes properly. 

After time at the mountain, Harry buys everyone a hot chocolate and then it’s time to head back to the cabin. Here Y/N is thinking that the day’s going to go by completely fine, greta even, but she’s sadly mistaken. She’s helping Brinley put one last candy on her gingerbread house when Jamie turns to Harry with his hand in a fist. 

“Knuckles,” Jamie grins, holding his fist out for Harry to pound his into. 

Harry furrows his brows but does it, “when did this become a thing?” he asks. 

“Mommy’s new friend showed me, he says it’s cooler than a high five,” Jamie explains innocently, but little does the little boy know that he just started another fight between his parents. 

Harry turns to Y/N with his brows wound tight, eyes narrowed at the thought of her seeing someone new. And not only that, but bringing whatever asshat around his kids too. He doesn’t smile for the photo Y/N wants of him and the kids with their gingerbread houses, and he doesn’t say a word to her while they put the kids to bed. It’s not till they have wrapping paper and the large amount of presents around the living room that Harry decides to start the fight. 

“Who’s the new guy then?” Harry asks. 

Y/N sighs, ripping off a piece of tape and securing it to the wrapping paper on the new Baby Alive you had bought for Brin. “He’s just a friend,” she mumbles while picking up the pen and turning the over the Christmas themed tag to write ‘To Brinley From Santa’. 

“What’s the guys name?” he questions, not willing to give up easily of course. 

“Harry, it’s not like that,” she says, already growing tired of this conversation. 

“I just want to know what kind of guy you’re bringing around my damn kids, Y/N,” Harry says, his voice turned sharp with each word. Y/N tosses the pen to the ground and stand to bring the present over to the tree. 

“His name is Brandon, he’s been working with my dad at the firm for almost 10 years, started out an intern or whatever. You might have even met him before, at one of my dad’s work things,” she explains, “if you even fucking went to any, can’t remember if you did now,” she adds with a bitter voice. 

“Oh great, make me the fucking bad guy again, huh?” 

“Would you fucking relax!” She shouts at him. 

“No, cause you’re seeing some bloody bloke and bringing him around my fucking kids without my permission!” Harry matches her tone, anger boiling through his veins now. 

“I don’t need your permission anymore!” 

“They’re still my kids!”

“Then act like it!”

Harry doesn’t have a comeback. She had silenced him, lips formed a tight line and eyes narrowed while she lets out a deep breath and continues to wrap her babies gifts. Fighting with Harry wasn’t what this trip was about, even if it just kept happening, Christmas morning was mere hours away and these presents needed to be wrapped. Y/N knew how hard this was going to be when she agreed to this. But she just wanted the kids to have fun and feel loved, even though they came from broken home where their mom struggled daily and their dad was never really around. 

Y/N picks up another doll set, laying it out on the wrapping paper before cutting it to the right size and tapping it up. Harry just sat there, lip between his fingers as he watches her. He knew he wasn’t around much this year. But this year has been the worst year of his life. His wife left him, got custody of the kids, and his drinking problem only got worse. He wanted this trip to make things even a little bit better. He missed this, minus the fighting, he just missed his family. 

Then to hear that only five months later and Y/N was moving along fine without him. Finding some law firm fool to fill whatever void she had made when she left Harry, it hurts a lot more than he expected it would. He still loved her, so bloody much, and he always would. He got jealous, started a fight yet again, and now watched as tears well up in her eyes. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” Harry mutters, bringing both hands to his face. 

“Neither do I, H,” she says, putting down the things in her hands and watching her ex husband who’s sitting on the couch. “But I’m trying,” she adds. 

“I don’t even know how to do that, Y/N,” he says softly into his hands. 

Y/N’s chest aches at the sight of Harry so upset. Through these months apart, she hasn’t really been able to sit and talk with Harry. He’s always been gone, doing something else for his career while she stayed in LA and raised the kids. Without really thinking of what she was doing, she crawls over and places herself between his legs, one arm on his knee while she tilts her head to try and meet his gaze. When he lifts his hands and looks down at her, she sees the glassy look of his green eyes. 

“All you have to do was ask, Harry,” she says softly, “if you want to come and spend a weekend with them, just ask, if you have free time during a day and want to come have tea with Brin then do that. Don’t go hiding away, don’t ignore them, please,” she has silent tears falling down her face now. He looks down at her red eyes, wanting to brush away the tears that fall for him. But he can’t, she left him.

“I miss you,” Harry says. 

Her bottom lip quivers while chills run through her body. Suddenly being so close to Harry doesn’t seem like a good idea. Y/N lets her head drop, breaking the heart aching gaze, and letting her hair fall into her face. She should move, stand up and get back to the presents, but then his hand brushes away her hair and cups her cheek, lifting her face up to meet his eyes once more. 

“I miss you, Y/N,” Harry repeats himself, eyes still glassy with tears that threaten to fall as he stares into her eyes. 

“I miss you too,” she says, voice cracking. 

Those four words is all it takes for Harry’s heart to hammer in his chest while he effortlessly lifts her up onto the couch with him. Both of her hands find his face instantly while flashbacks flood her mind. So young and so deeply in love with each other. Before everything went the wrong way. She let’s out a shaky breath while Harry’s hands are slowly massaging her hips and lower back. Her eyes shut closed, head leaning closer inch by inch till she can feel his hot breath on her skin. She licks her lips, tasting her strawberry chapstick, before she lets out one last deep breath and touches her lips to his. 

It’s like she’s lost hearing, her ears ringing as his lips move against hers for the first time in over five months. She can hear her pulse though, beating so fast while Harry’s is doing the exact same thing. He can’t believe this is happening. And he isn’t going to waste a moment of it, he thinks while dragging his hands up and down her body feeling every curve again. He kisses her with as much passion and love as he can. 

After a few moments, Y/N feels herself breaking in his touch. She lets out a deep breath through her nose before pulling away from his lips, touching her forehead to his. Lips forming a pout as she shuts her eyes tight, tears falling fast down her cheeks.  

“Please, love, please,” Harry whispers, breath still hot against her skin. “Please don’t do this,” he continues. 

Y/N remembers hearing these same words through a phone, a voicemail to be exact, five months ago. But then she was so angry, so upset that he had gotten that way. But now he’s here, sitting under her with his hands stroking her arms gently. Y/N’s hands are firm on his chest, feeling how it rises and falls like hers is.

“I did it though, H,” she breathes out. 

Harry’s chest shakes then, while his arms pull her body firmly against his. His forehead slipping away to rest upon her shoulder, quiet sobs shaking through his body and breaking her heart each time. A overwhelming feeling of guilt and regret wash over Y/N. But she knows she has to think right in this moment. As much as she wants to kiss away his pain and spend the night wrapped up in him between the sheets. She slowly gets up from the couch, cupping his cheek in her hand as he slouches into her touch. 

“H,” she says softly, causing his red eyes to meet hers. “We can’t just do this, there’s so many things that need to be fixed, so many problems that had to be solved,” 

“Just give me another chance, please, I can fix this- I can fix us,” Harry says, lips quivering as he stares into her eyes. 

“Lets- lets just talk about this after tomorrow,” she says, “tomorrow is about Jamie and Brin, not about us,” 

Harry takes a moment, sniffling a few times as she rubs the pad of her thumb across the hint of stubble thats along his jaw. Y/N is thinking so much her head hurts. She means it, she wants to talk about them again but not on Christmas. If there was even a sliver of hope that Harry’s changed, she was willing to cling onto it in this moment and try to feel that same overwhelming love she once knew from him. 

“You get some sleep, I can finish up the wrapping,” Harry says, his voice even again now. 

She nods her head and decides to take up his offer, knowing very well this extra hour of sleep would really just mean an extra hour of thinking while staring up at the ceiling - and she’s completely right. She doesn’t fall asleep till about twenty minutes after she hears Harry get to his room. And then she isn’t surprised to wake up to Jamie and Brinley both jumping on her shouting about the presents Santa had left for them. Y/N has a grin on her face as she holds Jamie’s hand and holds Brin on her hip as they walk down the staircase, an aroma of coffee filling her nose as she sees Harry pouring two mugs for them both. 

When his eyes reach hers, his lips curl up into a grin of his own. Thoughts of what had happened between them two last night still playing over and over in his brain - hers too. But right now, Christmas morning, was all for the kids. Jamie runs off towards the pile of presents, Brin kicking to be let go and follow after him. Y/N keeps up with them, knowing that Jamie will open every present under that tree regardless of the name on the tag. 

“One at a time, baby,” she says as Jamie tries to grab two big boxes with his name on it. 

“Mommy this one has your name,” Jamie says after opening a few more of his own, on the hunt to find more but instead he lifts up a small wrapped up box that he can hold in one hand. She gives him a smile, thanking him, before looking down at the tag to see Harry’s handwriting - ‘To Y/N love Harry’, she looks over to where he sits beside her on the couch. 

He gives her a smile and nods to the box in her hands. Y/N feels her heart beat pick up pace as she slips a finger under the paper and rips it open. In her hands are a familiar navy blue velvet box, one that once hid in Harry’s sock drawer for weeks. Her eyes flicker over to Harry’s again, eyebrows pulled together as he just smiles. Finally she opens the box to reveal a silver ring with one simple diamond at the centre - her first promise ring. 

“H,” she breathes out while taking it from the box. 

“I made you a promise almost 7 years ago now, and somewhere along the way I messed it up. And you don’t have to give me another chance, but I’d be a bloody fool to not ask for it,” Harry says, eyes glued to hers. Y/N breaks the gaze to look back down at the ring, she hasn’t seen it since it was replaced with an engagement ring all those years ago. Rolling her lips into her mouth, she lifts it from the box and slips it onto her ring finger - on her right hand this time. 

Harry doesn’t have time to say anything else as Brinley runs into his lap with her new Baby Alive in her hands, in her own jumble of words, Harry realizes that his little daughter wants her baby out of the box. Harry chuckles and tells her he’ll be right back with scissors to get out her new toy. 

“Mommy can we have Brinley’s cake for breakfast?” Jamie asks, both his hands full of his many different toys. 

Y/N chuckles at his suggestion and shakes her head, “sorry buddy, not going to happen,” she says. 

“But it’s Brinley’s birthday!” Jamie protests. 

“Hey, don’t start,” Harry’s voice echoes through the room as he approaches Jamie, his facial expression stern as he looks at his pouting little boy. “Mom said no, so no means no, right?” 

“Right,” Jamie mutters, frowning as he walks over and continues to play with his toys. 

Harry walks back into the kitchen to return the scissors, while Y/N smiles as Brinley brings her Baby Alive to her lap and yaps on about it. Y/N goes along, saying how pretty her baby is before Jamie starts playing with Brinley and her toys too. It’s such a heart warming sight before her, here on Christmas with her kids so happy. Her heart warms even more as she feels Harry thread his fingers though her hair, resting his hand on his right shoulder gently. Y/N smile grows while she reaching up and grabs his hand with hers. 

Looking down, Harry sees the ring upon her right hand and his lips tug up into a soft smile. Although today was going to be amazing, celebrating his baby Brinny’s first birthday, he couldn’t wait to figure things out tomorrow with Y/N. He’s come to the realization over these past few months that he’d do anything to get her back.

wicked games [7]

Summary: Tom’s reached his breaking point; how long until he falls?

Pairing: CEO!Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Smut - 18+ ONLY || rough fucking, unprotected sex [wrap it before you tap it, pls], excessive use of the word ‘fuck’, minor violence

Word Count: 4,502

A/N: Happy New Year! It’s not 2018 just yet for me, but here’s my parting gift to the shitty 2017. I’ll see you all in a [hopefully] better year! Dedicating this chapter to @stvharrington because I can. 

series masterlist

All’s fair in love and war.

Pain. Suffering. Relief. Justice.

Happiness.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt that.

Too long.

He can’t quite place the exact moment he last savored the sweet taste of it, and that’s because he can no longer remember that taste.

His memories are fading, and as time goes on, it seems more likely than not that he will never savor it again.

Tom knew better.

He really did.

But he was weak. Susceptible. Terrified.

His biggest fear has always been failure. Never one to show it, though. The man carries himself with the charisma and confidence of someone who has always succeeded in life. Yet, that hasn’t always been the case.

Take this moment, for example.

Tom’s sat across his father in his office, with the roles reversed. His father is seated in his chair, behind his desk.

He has no damn right.

Tom’s drowned out every word that’s passed his father’s lips, knowing each one intends to boil his blood, pushing him to the brink.

That’s how it always was with Dom.

There wasn’t a single memory Tom could think of that didn’t include the man yelling at him specifically over something miniscule.

That’s how life always was.

To make matters worse, the twins were present. Sam sat next to Tom, typing away on his tablet like the nerd he always was. Harry was perched on the edge of his desk, eyes sparkling and lips twitching up into a smile.

Little fuckers.

The twins were Tom’s worst nightmare.

Only 3 years apart in age, they had been his best friends up until he went away for university. He didn’t have the evidence, but Tom knew damn well his father was behind the twins’ sudden attitude change towards their older brother.

They had completely changed from the loving, sweet boys he had grown up with into vile, attention-seeking, power hunger beasts.

For his 21st birthday, Tom celebrated with a grandiose party.

He spent six hours going over and officially signing an agreement with his father that granted him funds for his start-up.

The start-up that gave rise to the company he held dear to his heart.

The twins were enraged when they learned the news; Dom had promised them a hefty gift for their 18th, but nothing would ever come close to your father handing over the keys to your own private company - even if you had to build it.

They were merciless. Sam refused to aid Tom in schematics and building appropriations, while Harry outright rejected Tom’s job offer once the company’s foundation had been established.

If they weren’t getting their own start-up, why the hell would they help him with his?

His father did nothing to stop them, either. Dom was reluctant in giving Tom what he had been asking for since he was in high school; Nikki had been the one to hammer the idea over his head, insisting their eldest was more than ready to take on something of his own.

She couldn’t have been more wrong.

“You seem to have lost your sense of responsibility in these last few years, Thomas. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but you need to get a grip. Do you understand?” Tom locked eyes with his father, their silent screaming match never ending.

“Yes, sir.”

“You know it’s going to take more than just your word, boy. Otherwise, I’m sure Harry and Sam will enjoy divvying up your assets.” Dom rose to his feet, holding up a finger as he raised his phone to his ear. “It’s me.”

He left the room, his voice a hushed whisper as he passed. Tom sighed in relief, covering his eyes with his hand when he heard a small chuckle.

“What’s so funny, twat?”

“You. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of watching Dad rip you a new one, Stanley. What do you think, Sammy?” Harry snickered, smirking as Tom moved his hand, glaring at him.

“Just give up already, mate. These fights are getting redundant, and I’m pretty sure Dad’s dangerously close to going mental,” Sam didn’t even bother looking up from his screen. Tom rolled his eyes, adjusting his tie clip as he nervously tapped his foot.

“If you drive the old man bonkers, maybe he’ll leave us all his money? That sounds like a wonderful retirement plan,” The boys laughed in unison, Harry shaking his head as he looked at his brother.

“Fuck off, shithead,” Tom muttered as he grasped the armrest tightly.

“What’re you gonna do, Thomas? Fuck me up like you did Harrison, yeah?” Harry retorted, rolling his eyes. Next thing he knew, Tom’s hand was around his throat. His grip was tightening, his expression blank as they stared at one another.

“Tom, what the fuck!” Sam shouted, dropping his tablet on the ground as he ran up to them, hitting him right on his side. Tom grunted, letting go as he stumbled backwards. Harry gasped as he collapsed onto the floor, Sam struggling to keep him up.

“Are you… are you out of your fucking mind, Tom?” Harry sputtered, his breathing ragged as he stared at him, perplexed.

“I think Tom’s the mental fuck here, for fuck’s sake,” Sam grumbled, defensively covering Harry as Tom walked past them. He smacked the back of his head, barely slipping out of his reach as he made off towards his liquor cabinet.

“You’re pathetic, mate. Attacking your own brother? That’s a new fucking low,” The twins were on their feet, Sam’s arm wrapped around Harry’s shoulder in a lame attempt to keep him steady. Tom flipped them off as he poured himself a glass of scotch.

The sweet, familiar burn down his throat instantly calmed his nerves, his heart rate magically slowing down as the adrenaline coursing through his veins ceased to exist.

“You two are deplorable. Ganging up on me just to impress him, of all people? Not fucking worth it,” He scoffed, downing the rest of his drink to rid his mouth of the unwelcome bitter taste any thought of his father left behind.

“Isn’t that the story of your miserable life, Tommy?”

Almost three weeks had passed since that night. The night Tom practically kicked you out his penthouse without a second thought. Without any explanation whatsoever.

Your holidays were spent drunk on the couch of your aunt’s upstate cabin, your cousins’ endless love for Christmas drinking games keeping your worrying thoughts at bay.

For the most part.

Not a single word from him since that night. No attempt at any form of communication.

Abiding by the contract, you informed him of your family trip, telling him you would be gone until after the New Year.

No response.

Now that the time to return to work had arrived, your nagging concerns rose to the surface, hitting your heart ten times harder than before.

You didn’t hear a coherent word of that fight. All you could make out was indistinct yelling and cursing between him and Harrison, along with a loud thud against the wall and floor. Then Tom came back, telling you to go without another word before leaving you all alone.

You shuddered at the memory. The look in his eyes practically tore your heart in two, and you didn’t even understand why you were feeling that way in the first place.

The two of you had sex twice, technically. That was the gist of the entire relationship. Fucking.

And yet here you were, alone and unnerved, without a single idea on how he was doing, in any context. As your boss, as your… fuck buddy, or whatever the fucking terminology was.

You didn’t know why you felt like this. All you knew was that you wanted it to stop.

Maybe that’s what motivated you to reach out to him countless times over the past twenty-one days, to no avail. Perhaps it’s what kept you on the edge of your seat every time you saw him in the office, only to be blatantly ignored.

And conceivably, it’s what fueled your decision to stand right outside his office door, wearing the tightest skirt and the most low cut blouse you could find.

Your knuckles rapped against the dark wooden surface four times, your breathing picking up with every passing touch.

Your heartbeat was manic, pounding loudly in your ears.

It should have come to no surprise when he didn’t open the door.

Refusing to look like a complete idiot to any passerby, you turned on your heels and walked back to your desk. Your hand had barely grasped the back of your chair when you heard his voice.

“Make it quick.”

He left the door slightly ajar, his back to you as you came in, shutting it. He was standing at the windows, hands in his pockets, his entire body tense.

You stood by the door, teetering on your heels as you tried to form a coherent, non-offensive statement in your mind.

“Well?” His tone was irked; his burning stare boring into you as he turned to face you, awaiting a reply. You met his gaze, your breath hitching as you took in his appearance.

He looked the same as always; so fucking good. But there was something off. His eyes had the slightest twinge of red to them. His jaw seemed to have a few nicks scattered across it, as far as you could tell.

What truly threw you off the most were the dark blue bruises littering the back of his hand.

“Are you okay?”

The words rolled off your tongue before your mind could stop them. Your heart practically stopped of its own accord in that very moment.

Was he okay?

Your words hung heavy in the tense atmosphere between you.

Was he okay?

His heart ceased to beat the second he heard your voice.

Was he okay?

No. Apparently not.

“Lock the door and strip. Now.”

Never would you have thought six simple words would have your body shaking in such eagerness.

Your body moved of its own accord; locking the door without a second thought, your fingers quickly and deftly stripping your body of every material covering it.

You stood in the middle of the room completely naked, your eyes watching Tom’s every move.

His eyes raked over your body, studying it like it was your first time all over again. His tongue wet his lips ever so slowly, his hands trembling at his sides.

Everything in that moment was wrong. His headspace, his attitude, you. But it was his only way to cope.

“Against the chair.” He didn’t move an inch as you stepped forward, pressing your abdomen against the cool leather. You looked ahead while watching him out of the corner of your eye.

Taking his time, Tom undid his tie. He shrugged off his suit jacket, tossing it onto his desk before rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. He undid his belt, the soft jangle of the buckle raising goosebumps across your skin.

Finally standing behind you, Tom took your wrists in his hand, expertly wrapping the soft, silky material over your skin. Satisfied with his handiwork, he splayed his hand over your back, pushing you down against the back of the seat.

“Not a single sound, or I will gag you, princess. Understood?” You nodded, your voice completely gone as you felt the burning ache between your legs build. Tom let no emotion cross his body language as he undid his slacks, pushing them down to his knees.

Taking your hair in one hand, the other gripping your hip tight, he pushed the head of his cock into your soaked cunt. You bit down on your tongue at the delicious stretch of your walls, the mewl hiding behind your lips sliding back down your throat as he bottomed out.

He twitched inside you, your walls clenching around him as he pulled on your hair.

Your time to savor was ended as he pulled out, dragging his dripping head over your clit, quietly groaning at the feeling.

Your hands yearned to grasp something, anything, but those feelings were soon replaced as you felt him thrust in hard. His hips slammed against your ass, giving you no time to recover as he took up a rough, brisk pace.

The slapping sound of skin against skin echoed in the empty space as Tom pounded into you from behind, every single one of his thrusts more bruising than the last. His grip on your hair slowly loosened, his hand dropping down to your neck as he pushed into you again and again.

Your ass met his hips in perfect sync, the brutal pace more enticing than you could have ever imagined. His grunts and groans were like heaven to your ears, your own moans trapped in your throat as you kept them at bay, Tom’s hand adding sweet pressure.

Your legs were starting to shake with each of his pounding thrusts into you, the sound of your pussy around his cock only adding to the lewdness. The knot in your stomach was building up, stronger than ever before. As if he could tell, Tom brought his hand down harshly against your ass, the sting pushing you right to the edge.

“You’re doing so well for me, baby girl. Let me hear how good you’re feeling, princess,” He cooed, halting his hips against you. He let go of your throat, dropping his hand down to knead your breast. You sighed contently, quietly whining as he pushed you up until you were flush against his chest. Your walls fluttered around his throbbing cock when you felt his other hand drop to your core, rubbing slow circles over your sensitive bud.

“Daddy,” You whimpered, your hips bucking against his hand as he teased you.

“What do you want, darling?” He whispered in your ear, his fingers gently pinching your clit. You cried out, your bound hands gripping onto his dress shirt for some sort of stability.

“Please… make me come, please,” Your begging could’ve made Tom come right then and there. He growled at your words, his hand landing a hard swat to your ass as he pushed you down against the seat.

He set a new, stronger rhythm as his thrusts commenced, the hard pace and new angle pushing his cock deeper into you. When you felt his tip graze over your sweet spot, you knew you were done for.

“I’m, fuck, m’gonna come,” You moaned, the tight knot of arousal in your stomach so close to snapping. Tom grunted behind you, his hand coming around to pinch your clit in time with his thrusts.

“Come for me, princess.”

That was all it took. Your body quaked with the hot, sweet rush of pleasure washing over you. Your keening whimpers and tight, clenching cunt pushed Tom over the edge, his hips stilling against your ass as he came with a deep growl. His fingers worked you through your orgasm, your walls pushing him through his.

You almost forgot where you were until you felt soft hands around your waist, carefully lifting you up. Tom stood you on your feet, one hand on your hip, the other gently massaging your sore flesh.

“You did so good for me, sweetheart. Are you okay?” His voice was soft, angelic even, as the soreness in your body swept over you. You replied with a quiet hum, resting your head on his shoulder.

Tom let you stay like that for just a few moments longer, knowing he’d never be able to live it down if he only treated you like his fuck toy. His anger was already returning, the fucking having pushed it out of his mind for not too long.

After a few minutes had passed, he adjusted himself in his slacks and gently walked you over to the bathroom, sitting you down on the toilet. He retrieved your clothes from the ground by the door, his mind beyond tempted to leave you pantyless for the rest of the day.

He was just about to ask you if you needed anything else when the office phone rang.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Osterfield is on line one, sir.” Fucking hell.

“Tell him to call my private number.” Tom hung up, quietly muttering to himself until he heard the clack of your heels against the marble floors. He looked up, meeting your weary, glazed stare.

“I want to see you tonight.” The words left his lips before he could stop himself, and they nearly stopped your heart.

“Tonight?”

“9pm, your apartment. You can go now,” Tom ran a hand through his unruly curls, anxiety coursing through his veins as you nodded, flashing him a shy smile before you left.

Right as the door closed, his phone rang.

“Tom,”

“What the fuck do you want, Harrison?” His mouth went sour as he spoke his name.

“Well, I’m glad to know you’re finally acknowledging me, mate. I want to talk,”

“So then talk,”

“— in person.” Tom grimaced at the prospect, his jaw clenched tight. Did he really have the self control not to murder his best friend upon seeing him?

Only one way to find out.

“Meet me at Sutton in an hour.”

Tom paced back and forth in the kitchen, Martha ignoring his impatience as she prepped some vegetables for dinner.

“What could he possibly have to say that has you wrecked like this?” She mused, glancing up at Tom as he stared out the window, his hands continuously carding through his hair. He looked over at her, barely missing her irritated gaze.

“I’m more afraid of what I’ll do when I see him. I couldn’t care less what he has to say to me, especially after last time,”

“If you intend on murdering him, at least let me know so I won’t bear witness to it. I’ve seen enough shit go on here, especially with you two,” Martha huffed, running a bowl of diced peppers under water. Tom rolled his eyes, ignoring her comment as he heard the elevator buzzer.

“You’d be my accomplice in his murder either way, dearest Martha. And I won’t eat any of that if you pair it with the red sauce!” Tom retorted, practically running out of the room before she could respond.

“Don’t know when I became his mother, but God, Nikki must’ve had a riot with this one.”

Tom made it into the foyer just as Harrison stepped off the elevator. He took in his best friend’s disheveled appearance - dark bags under his eyes, his hair a curly, frizzy mess. The bruises Tom’s fist had left behind were clearly still healing and he couldn’t help but look down at his own reminder.

“Long time no see, Holland.” Harrison quipped, his expression devoid of any friendliness as he stood by the entrance.

“I won’t hit you again, mate. As long as you promise not to be such a fucking ass,”

“Ah, can’t promise that. My being an ass is actually me being a good friend, so…”

“Fuck off! You’re the worst,” Tom couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he walked up to Harrison, pulling him into a short hug. They both relaxed as they pulled away, a smile dawning on Harrison’s lips as he gently patted Tom’s cheek.

“You’re still a piece of shit, Tom,”

“And you’re still a twat. What’s new?”

They walked to his office, Tom shutting the door as Harrison meandered through the room.

“So, was that the whole talk or?”

“You’re not getting off that easy, Holland. I got wind of what happened with the twins the other day,”

“They’re fucking rats, I swear to God —” Tom scoffed, rolling his eyes. Harrison shrugged, shaking his head as he leaned against the desk.

“Tom, you have got to stop yourself. This is all getting way out of control, mate.” Tom quirked an eyebrow at his words.

“What is? For fuck’s sake, Haz, I didn’t even hit him,”

“But you could have. Could’ve fucked him up like you did me. Only thing that stopped you was Dom, whether you want to admit it or not,”

“Don’t. I’m not talking about that sick fuck right now,”

“Then hear me out, alright? I didn’t just come here to apologize, man. I need to talk some sort of sense into you, for crying out loud.”

Tom sighed exasperatedly, slumping down on the leather couch across from Harrison. He waved his hand around, rolling his eyes as he continued speaking.

“You haven’t talked to Y/N, have you?”

“About what?”

“What happened, you dumbass. And if I’m right, you haven’t asked her back or fucked her since that night, yeah?” Tom bit his lip, averting his gaze. Harrison sighed, shaking his head. “You fucked her at the office today, didn’t you?”

“Why… what does it even matter? That’s what the whole thing is about, anyways. I needed her, and she obviously wanted me, so —”

“Did she say something to you, or did you just tell her you wanted to fuck?”

“Why the fuck —”

“Answer the damn question, Tom.”

“She asked me if I… if I was okay, or something like that. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention, I was fucking distracted by her, alright? Sue me, Harrison. I have needs,”

“Fuck you and your fucking needs, Tom!” Harrison pushed himself off the desk, walking over to where Tom sat. “She was checking on you, for fuck’s sake! That was not some sign that she fucking wanted you! You’re either blind or fucking deranged, Tom. You need to talk to her. Not just fuck her brains out whenever you’re feeling a little too much. Learn to cope with your emotions, asshole.”

“You’re one to talk! All you do is scream and yell,”

“At least I’m talking! All you do is shut down, get drunk, and fuck. Your communication skills are nonexistent, mate.” Harrison said through gritted teeth, his jaw tight as he glared at Tom.

“Well you know damn well I’m not talking to Y/N about shit. She doesn’t need to know anything.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. He looked up at Harrison, his heart skipping a beat out of fear as he spoke.

“Well, you know your other option. You either talk to Y/N, or you talk to her. You know what she’s gonna tell you.”

The line rang three times, each one sending a shiver down Tom’s spine as he paced around his office. Her voice almost stopped his heart.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the certified asshole himself.” She chuckled on the other end, and Tom was beyond tempted to end the call then and there.

“Mary,”

“Thomas.”

“How are you?” The words felt foreign on his tongue.

“Are you dying?” Her tone was serious.

“What? No. Why the hell would you think that?”

“You’re being uncharacteristically nice, Thomas. You’re either dying or you’ve fucked up majorly. I prefer the former, because it means I won’t have to put with your narcissistic, playboy self for much longer,” Tom rolled his eyes.

“Well, thanks for caring so much about your dear old friend, Mary. Harrison had me call,”

“Haz? God, you did fuck up, didn’t you?”

“Will you please let me talk?”

“Grow a pair and then we’ll see, Holland. What happened?” She paused, aware she was barely crossing the line as she pushed his buttons.

“I… well, Harrison… fuck. This is harder than I thought it’d be,”

“Are you… trying to talk about your feelings? Thomas Stanley, I’m honored. Well, not really, given the fact you just told me Harrison made you call me. But I’ll let that bit slide. You’ve got a new girl, don’t you?” Tom swallowed thickly at Mary’s words, trying to calm his racing heartbeat.

“Yeah,”

“Oh god, did she find out how fucked up you really are? A damn shame,” She chided, smiling to herself.

“Mary, shut up and let me talk!” She said nothing in response. “She… she heard me and Harrison fighting the other day, and I’ve been ignoring her for the past few weeks. We fucked today, and it was rough.”

“Please tell me you took care of her after, for fuck’s sake.”

“We were at the office, what the fuck was I gonna do?”

“Goddamnit, Tom. Aftercare, you dumbass! It’s important! Or did your repugnant ass forget?”

“I didn’t fucking forget, Mary! I told her I wanted to see her at her place tonight. No sex, just… do something to make up for what happened.”

“Oh.” Her end went dead silent, and Tom felt like his chest was caving in on him. Mary stayed silent for what felt like hours, while Tom’s heart was on the verge of bursting out of his chest. Just as he was about to give up and end the call, she spoke up.

“You don’t know anything about her, do you? So you don’t know how to talk to her alone, when it doesn’t have anything to do with sex.” Tom said nothing as he let out a nervous sigh, his chest heavy against his heart.

“Well, there’s really only one way to get you to open up, isn’t there?”

You had just pulled out a tray of freshly baked muffins from your oven, your music on full blast as you danced around the kitchen. Once you had finished setting the food up on a clean plate, you washed your hands, checking the time. 8:50.

He was going to be there soon.

You  washed up in the bathroom, slipping on a flannel and a pair of satin shorts Tom had sent you from France. You headed out into the living room, cleaning up the best you could in the short time you had. You grabbed a muffin from the pile, slouching down onto your couch as you turned on the TV - the only way to distract yourself from counting down until it was time.

Yet, 9pm came and went, without a single word. As the clock struck 10:30, you decided to call it a night. Just as you finished washing your dishes, the doorbell rang.

Hurriedly drying your hands, you walked up to the door, unlocking it without checking who it was. Your hopes were too high to be crushed so soon.

However, you smelled him before you saw him.

As you opened the door, the thick scent of whiskey and scotch hit you, making you reel back at the pungent smell. Tom was leaning against the doorframe, a dopey smile on his face. He met your concerned stare, his eyes glazed over and slightly pink.

“Hello, princess,” His words were slurred, a small hiccup escaping him as he tried to stand up, only to fall to his knees. You gasped when you felt his arms wrap around your legs, his forehead pressed against your lower stomach.

His words may have been muffled as he spoke, but they rang clear as day in your ears.

“We need to talk.”

I’m Yours | Changkyun

This is for the mxwriters Secret Santa event! @mx-rays I loved, loved, loved, the piece you wrote for me and I hope you can enjoy this one even if it’s just a little! 

Request: changkyun wants to take u to his family's holiday party as his fake gf to make his family stop hassling him about his dating life but in the end u both reveal ur true feelings for each other

this is NOT fully edited yet, i will try to finish editing it tomorrow morning!

Characters: Changkyun x Fem!Reader Genre: fluff, fake dating au Length: ~2.6k

You’re not entirely sure how you got roped into this. No, no. You’re exactly sure. You can’t turn down a cute smile and puppy eyes. More specifically you can’t turn down Changkyun’s cute smile and puppy eyes.

And now here you are, eating Christmas dinner with Changkyun’s family and his mother is smiling at you lovingly, while his father shares a conspiratorial wink with you from across the table. And his brother is giving Changkyun a teasing shoulder bump.

Changkyun looks over at you then and smiles, his eyes downcast as a shy blush falls over him. There are butterflies in your stomach and you return the expression fully aware of the audience you have.

 2 Days Earlier 

“No, Changkyun.” You keep your voice curt as you stalk across the quad. You were on your way to your favorite coffee shop before heading to the mall for last minute christmas shopping. The boy named trails after you with an earnest look.

“Please! Y/N, it’s just one day! All you have to do is come to my house and eat dinner.”

You halt and whirl to face him. Changkyun skids to a stop gives a wary look. “One day as you’re fake girlfriend! Like why can’t you just bring a real girlfriend with you? Aren’t you close with that one girl in your lit class?”

Changkyun frowns for a moment in thought. “Oh you mean Joy? We’re just friends.”

“So are we.”

He groans. “Joy and I are friends. And she has a boyfriend. And even though it’s fake I don’t think he’ll appreciate me taking her to my house on christmas.”

“Well then find someone else. Put an ad on craigslist or something. You’re always telling me those weird stories about that website; who knows maybe you’ll find your true love also?”

“Or maybe I’ll find a serial killer who’ll murder me and my family.” Changkyun’s eyes go wide and he looks at you like you’re crazy for even suggesting. “Y/N pleeeeeeeeeeease! It’ll just be like a normal get together. Except my arm will be around your waist instead of your shoulders, and our hugs need to last for a little longer and maybe I’ll throw in a kiss on the cheek.”

The thought of Changkyun’s lips anywhere near you makes your heart sputter and a small shiver run through you. “No, absolutely not.”

“C’mon, Y/N it wouldn’t be that bad to kiss me. And I’m not opposed to...uh, kissing you…” An odd expression crosses Changkyun’s face and he clears his throat before continuing. “I’ll do anything.”

You rub your hands against your face and groan into them. “God, it’s too early for this. Give me a few hours to think about it. I need coffee and some me time.”

Changkyun nods in understanding, “Okay! That’s fine!”

“I just don’t know,” you say into the phone. It’s propped between your cheek and shoulder as you use your hands to unwrap a straw and mix your drink. The busy sounds of the cafe around you, along with the obnoxiously loud christmas music is starting to give you a headache. Grabbing the phone in one hand you straighten and walk out of the cafe. “It seems weird to go to his house and lie to his family like that, you know?”

“Okay, that part is a little weird, but come on Y/N,” your best friend, Nayeon, replies. “You’d rather sit alone in the dorms than be with a friend? You’re the one always saying that Changkyun’s like family to you.”

You sigh as you walk along the sidewalks. The streets were full of people but you didn’t care. You wanted to get in on some good christmas deals, especially on the jacket you’ve been eyeballing every time you pass through the shopping district. “But again, Nayeon, as his fake girlfriend? Like what is this, a Hallmark Christmas special?”

It’s quiet on the other end for a moment longer than it usually takes Nayeon to respond. Finally, you hear her click her tongue and hum before saying, “Don’t get weird, but-”

“But what?”

She sighs. “But honestly, you and Changkyun act like a couple already. Like the only thing he hasn’t done is stuck his tongue down your throat.”

“Nayeon!” Your cheeks are flaming as you shout her name. A few people nearby stop to look over at you and you flame up even more in embarrassment. In a muttered tone you say, “Don’t say that!”

“It’s only the truth, Y/N, and you know it.”

You chug down a gulp of your coffee and then let out a groan. “I hate you.”

“Love you too!”

After a disappointing shopping trip - the jacket you wanted being gone and the lines at other stores too long worth standing in - you find yourself standing in front of Changkyun’s dorm door. You can hear music playing faintly through the door. Nibbling on your bottom lip you raise a hand and knock. You can hear shuffling on the other side and soon the door is being swung open.

Changkyun stands on in the doorway, his hair askew and face looking slightly strained. However when he sees you, his eyes light up and he smiles. “Y/N! Hey, I need your help. My mom wnats me to wear my nice dress shirt for dinner and I can’t find it.”

“You spilled mustard on it on my birthday and threw it out, remember?”

“Shit.”

“We can buy a new one on our way to your place.”

Changkyun nods, a small, worried frown settling on his face. It’s gone as soon as it appeared because he’s suddenly beaming at you, the dimples you love so much starting to peek through. “You’re gonna do it? You’re coming with me?”

You take a deep breath. Please don’t let me regret this. “Yes, I’ll do it. But! You have to help me with my physics homework next quarter because the class hasn’t even started and I’m already lost.”

“Of course! Hell, I’ll just do the full assignments for you!”

Rolling your eyes you warily kick aside a subway sandwich wrapper. “Don’t make me regret this Kyun….”

Changkyun gives you a goofy grin. “We’ll be fine, darling.”

“Don’t call me that.”

He laughs. “What about babe?”

Your stomach knots but you ignore it. “I’m leaving.”

Before you can turn away Changkyun is darting forward to take your hand. “Whoa, whoa, okay. No pet names. But really, Y/N, I appreciate this. It’ll get my family off my back for the rest of the year.”

The earnest look on his face makes your chest swell. His fingers twine with your own and you glance down at your joined hands, a blush climbing your neck. You’ve held hands with Changkyun before and yet this time, even if it was for show, there’s a new weight to it this time. “Y-Yeah, it’s, uh, no problem. As long as I get to eat, I’m good.”

Changkyun laughs, his eyes alight. “Trust me, there’s gonna be a lot to eat.”

2 Days Later

You stand in front of Changkyun’s house, waiting for him to catch up to you on the porch. The two of you had spent the last couple of days planning your story as a couple and finding presents for his family. As he comes up to the porch, you take a few of the presents from him so he can dig out his house key. There’s apparently no need though, because before he can put the key into the door, it swings open and his mother is beaming at the two of you.

“Changkyunnie!!”

She takes the presents from her son and sets them on the small table in the entryway before pulling her son into a warm embrace. You watch with a fond smile on your face but before you know it, the presents in your own hands are taken and it’s your turn for a hug.

“Oh, Y/N, It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

“I know! How’s everyone been?”

“Oh, so lonely, none of my sons bother to visit me.”

“I was just home for Thanksgiving,” Changkyun mumbles sidestepping the two of you and taking off his scarf.

Mrs. Im pulls away from you with a huff. “A son can visit his mother for times other than major holidays.”

You give Changkyun the same disappointed frown his mother is giving him and his eyes widen. Hands up in surrender he wanders off into the house. His mother laughs and gives you a fond smile before leading you inside to shut the door. She helps you carry the gifts into the living room where Changkyun is sitting on the couch next to his older brother.

They in the middle of discussion that pauses when the two of you walk into the room. You frown at your friend in suspicion but Changkyun only gives you an innocent shrug. The sound of footsteps coming down the hallway makes you look up and you see Changkyun’s father enter the room. He grins at you and pulls you into a hug first.

“Look who it is! I haven’t seen ol’Y/N in years. Look at how lovely you’ve grown. And somehow my son won you over?”

“H-Hi, Mr. Im, long time no see.”

Changkyun’s father pulls away and rubs your arm with a smile before turning to his son. “And if it isn’t my delinquent son.” He moves to join his kids on the couch and you return to helping Mrs. Im with presents. When you’re finished she leads you into the kitchen and and peeks into the oven.

“The sweet potatoes are almost done and then we can stick the ham into the oven.” She speaks more so to herself than you but you still nod. After a moment she turns to you with a loving smile. “So, you and our Kyunnie.”

You blush suddenly remember you’re supposed to be dating your friend. With a laugh that comes out a little more awkward than you want it to, you laugh. “Y-Yup.”

“How did that happen, sweetie?” She busies herself with picking up the counters a little and you step forward to help her.

In your head you quickly run through the story you and Changkyun agreed to before speaking it out loud. “It was a natural transition. We both just, um, realized that we likes each other more than...more than friends.

She smiles at the story sweetly, despite your stutters. Stepping towards you she takes your hands and grins, her eyes taking on that saem soft light Changkyun sometimes has in his own face. “Good. I’m so glad, Y/N. So glad that it’s you.”

The words shock you and the emotions must be visible on your face because Changkyun’s mother turns amused. “The two of you were so perfect together as kids, I figured it was only a matter of time before the two of you grew closer.”

The blush that appears on your cheeks is so sudden. You suddenly find it hard to keep eye contact with her. Changkyun rounds the corner just then but pauses at the scene of you and his mother talking. His mother catches your eyes drifting away and turns to see Changkyun. Quickly she ushers you towards her son and sends the two of you away.

Changkyun sees your blushing cheeks and frowns a little before taking your hand and in his and leading you down the halls towards the bedrooms. As you pass the living room you can hear a football game being played and Changkyun’s brother shouts in victory while his father groans. The further the two of you make it down the hallway the further away the noises are.

Changkyun pulls you into his old room and closes the door just a little to drown the noises out further. You plop down onto his mattress, the dark blue comforter catching you. Changkyun moves to his desk chair and straddles it, resting his arms on the backrest.

“You okay?”

“We’ve been here for like twenty minutes and you mother has already told me she’s glad we’re dating.”

He chokes a little on his breath. “She did?”

You shut your eyes and nod. “Kyunnie, I don’t think I can make it through this.”

Only silence meets your ears before the bed dips and warmth engulfs your form. Opening your eyes you watch as Changkyun tucks himself into your side. “We can tell them it’s not true if you want to. I don’t want you to feel awkward.”

You turn to face him and take one of his hands in your own, absentmindedly playing with his fingers. “Won’t it be more awkward if we admit to lying?”

Changkyun leans up to rest on his elbow. He keeps his hand in yours as you continue to hold it. With his head slightly tilted he watches you in silence. “What if…”

As his sentence trails off you pause weaving your fingers with his and look up. “What if what?”

“Nevermind.”

“No, tell me.”

He nibbles on his bottom lip and looks down to where your hands are intertwined. Clearing his throat he murmurs. “What if we did it as a real couple?”

The words have you pausing, your mind momentarily coming up blank. “You...y-you want to do this as a real couple?”

Changkyun sits up fully then, tugging his hand from your grip but you tighten your hold, not allowing him to pull his hand away. “Well, I mean, I’ve really, really liked you for a while now and I only asked you because I can only see myself with you, and if I get to end this christmas with you as my real girlfriend I’d be the happiest man alive.”

Slowly, you sit up to join him, but Changkyun still won’t meet your eyes. You let go of his hand, and his eyes immediately dart to them, disappointment in them. But they light up again in curiosity when you cup his cheek and lean in to press your forehead to his. “If I can end this night with you as my real boyfriend, it’d be the best night of my life.”

Your words come out a little rushed but honest and whole all the same. You mean every one of them and when you see Changkyun’s whole face light up, you know they’re the right words. In a blink of an eye, he’s leaning closer to press his lips to your own; it’s chaste and sweet and pure.

His lips part into a smile and he lets out a goofy giggle. “My darling.”

You roll your eyes so hard it almost hurts. “My loser.”

Changkyun pouts. “That’s not a cute one.”

“Fine, my kkukkungie.”

Releasing an overdramatic squeal of sorts, Changkyun drops back to the bed and covers his face with his hands. “I’m yours!”

You snort and reach over to flick his tummy. “God, you’re such a weirdo.”

“But I’m your weirdo.”

Falling back onto the bed you sigh. “We really are a Hallmark christmas special.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

There’s a small knock on the door and it creaks open a little as the two of you sit up. Changkyun’s mom peeks her head in and grins when she sees the two of you. “Dinner’s ready.”

And now here you are, eating Christmas dinner with Changkyun’s family and his mother is smiling at you lovingly, while his father shares a conspiratorial wink with you from across the table. And his brother is giving Changkyun a teasing shoulder bump.

Changkyun looks over at you then and smiles, his eyes downcast as a shy blush falls over him. There are butterflies in your stomach and you return the expression fully aware of the audience you have.

But at this moment you don’t care, because you’re the happiest you’ve been all year.  

A Brother's Penance: (this is the edited copy I meant to send)

((congrats Shay. You’ve won a trip to feels purgatory.))

Dead. The four miserable letters spelling out a final departure from this life. Gone. A word that is equally as short and eternal. It means beyond mending, repair, salvation, and return. These two words should never be uttered in the same sentence as his brother’s newly tarnished name.

What kind of cruel twist fate was this? That he survived and Benjamin did not? The kiss of demise had been planted on Samuel’s bones. The stench of the hereafter had been entrenched in every pore and fiber of his clammy skin. Sickness had invaded him and promised a dismal fate. The Captain had nearly been one foot in the grave. Yet, it was the healthy Major, whose, time expired before his.

Sammy’s heart sinks into his gut and the chambers of his chest feel tight as if, he had been caught in a vice grip. “Are you sure?” He entreats of the courier. Who again, dismally shakes his head “yes” before handing him the parchment.

Samuel always considered that this was a possibility. He knew full-well that death lurks within every shadow. Thanks to their present occupation. Still, the news caught him entirely off guard.

Samuel would have given his life ten thousand times over if it meant sparing his brother.

Carefully inked words blur upon the tattered communication. Ben had died alone in the hands of the enemy. Guilt burns like acid at every corner of the younger Tallmadge’s conscience. Of all the terrible things this had to be the worst. Samuel had prayed with countless suffering souls until the angels to came to collect them. However, he hadn’t been there in his own brother’s time of need. No one comforted Ben in his final moments.

“I’m sorry. Oh God, I’m sorry,” Samuel apologizes, to no one in particular. Haunted indigo hues shift from the tent towards the camp mutineer’s graves. He can’t help but feel sick.

How does one carry on when one-half of your heart… no, half of you, is buried under a heap of frigid, unfeeling, and worm riddled soil? Samuel questions himself. If only he had been the one to find the grave instead of his brother. How could he ever live up to Ben’s legacy? Why had God taken the perfect son and left in his wake, the more flawed?

His father’s funeral lecture from Ecclesiastes chapter three returns to him, in spite of Samuel’s efforts to push it away. ‘To everything, there is a season. A time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which, has been planted…’ Sam braces himself against the next words. They do not bring him any comfort nor the promised peace that surpasses all understanding. “All goeth unto one place; all are of the dust, and all shalt turn to dust again.” No, not Benjamin! Samuel internally argues. Ben was more than a figure of ash, clay, dust, and bones. He was Samuel’s closest confidant, his best-friend, his teacher, and his protector. In fact, Ben and Sam’s lives had been so entwined that it was nearly impossible to reflect on a memory where one was present and the other was not. Save for the time Samuel had spent with the Sons of Liberty and the years upon the Jersey, of course.

From the very first breath that escaped Samuel’s lungs, his brother had continually been at his side. It was in Ben’s worn shoes that he took his first steps and it was in Ben’s footsteps, Samuel continually followed. With the elder boy’s loving coaxing, Samuel babbled his first words which, transformed into full sentences; until he couldn’t stop talking. Ben quickly became Sammy’s guiding compass. The one person who, always seemed to point True North; besides their father.

While it had, sometimes, felt like a burden following in the shadows of someone as intelligent, fearless, and spirited as Ben, Samuel cherished the benefits. He was quick to learn discernment from his elder brother’s mis-steps and mistakes. By watching Ben, Sammy acquired the art of taming his own temper. Understanding how to tame Ben’s followed soon after.

Samuel couldn’t bear the thought of his elder brother decaying in some shallow hole in the ground, without even a cross to make his final resting place! Even the gophers on the farm got more decent treatment! This was surely an outrage! But who was he to plead his cause with the enemy? They would surely do to him the same things they had to Ben. To them, he was a worthless peon. His aching soul is forced to slog through the muddied waters of grief.

On his knees the Captain pours out the oceanic depths of his shattered spirit, one stubborn tear-drop at a time. From the pit of his soul, he bitterly wails his heart-felt sentiment to the Author of All. “WHY? ABBA FATHER?! WHY… HIM?! AND NOT ME?! WAS MY LIFE NOT AS PLEASING OF A SACRIFICE? HAVE YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME IN ANGER?! AM I BEING MADE TO SUFFER FOR SOME WRONG I HAVE DONE YOU? WHY THEN HAVE YOU NOT STRUCK ME DOWN?! BEN DIDN’T DESERVE THIS!”

No voice thunders from the clouds in reply. No answer comes in the shuddering utterances of the night’s wind. He is gifted only the accompaniment of a crippling, tomb-like silence.

Heaving lungs burn, heady with the sting of suffocation. Fierce sobs ravage his slender frame until even his bones find themselves rattling uncontrollably. Fingers claw at the ground striving in vain to bring himself closer to the heart of his, suddenly quiet, Maker.

It is in this moment he recollects Job’s lament. In a shallow, sotto voce, he rasps…..

“Let the stars of this day’s twilight be darkened; Let it wait for light but have none,  and let it not see the breaking of dawn.

Why is light given to him who suffers, And life to the bitter of soul, Who long for death, but there is none, And dig for it more than for hidden treasures, Who rejoice greatly, And exalt when they find the grave? Why is light given to a man whose way is hidden, And whom God has hedged in? For my groaning comes at the sight of my food, My cries pour out like water. For what I fear comes upon me, And what I dread befalls me. I am not at ease, nor am I quiet. And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.”

Surrender beckons. Bringing himself into a prostrate position, Samuel finds himself powerless, humbled in the presence of the jealous, omnipresent, omnipotent, Ruler of Heaven and Earth. Whose abundant love, like a flood, consumes everything in its path.

He presses his forehead flat against the unforgivingly cold ground. His quivering lips meet the well-trodden dirt. He no longer utters supplications. They make no impact. Meager words could not change what had happened, no matter how desperately he wished them too.

In the stillness, far beyond the gasping sounds of his air-hungry lungs, Samuel can once more hear his father’s voice. “How can one know the ways of God? How can one say…that… this tragedy happened for this reason or that?” He remembers his father asking the church after Moma Tallmadge died. The church grew unusually quiet. Not a scuffle of shoes or squeak of the bench could be heard. Three-year-old Samuel turned to Ben who, then shrugged his shoulders in reply. As if, to say, he held naught the desired answer. Azure hues shifted in alarm back to his father as the pause lingered for a moment more. Then without hesitation, his father answers his own inquiry. “ We cannot. There is no striving against the divine providence of God, nor altering the course of things. Why… is irrelevant. We must trust in Providence even if we do not understand.” When Providence deals such heavy blows, it feels impossible to put one’s faith in the things unseen. Samuel finally understood that extreme spiritual battle. He could suddenly comprehend the reasoning as to why some refused to pray with the last breaths leaving their lungs. His eyes were finally open to the bitterness and darkness that jaded so many hearts for it was now implanted in his own. While it would not vanquish Samuel’s unyielding faith, it definitely shook it.

This is the start of an eternity without his dearest friend. Today would be the first of many days to pass without the comfort of his brother’s embrace, the warmth of his laugh, and his well-intended advice. Benjamin would never see the good his efforts and countless sacrifices had wrought. He’d never see the end of this bloody conflict nor the birth of the new nation they were struggling to defend. He’d never get married in that good old Setauket church, the way they planned, when they were no older than Sprout Woodhull. He’d never get the opportunity to grow old or know what it is like to have a family. There would be no birthdays, no Christmases, no Thanksgivings to Celebrate and share with his elder brother. No playful nudges, switching places, or pulling pranks… either.

And while time would stand still for Benjamin, it would not halt for Samuel. His face was already growing two days worth stubble in childish patches. He’d be forced to bear witness to the dawning of each new day. Likewise, the day’s plunging into the abyss of darkness. Samuel would find no rest, no peaceful slumber. His steps could not cease because he had no footsteps to follow in nor a guide to lead him. He’d be forced to march along to the endless cadence of the drums, the steady ticking of the clock. Guilt and shame would dog his every movement like the clanking of iron chains. He would forever be a prisoner to his shortcomings. Even washed in the grace of God, Samuel would always carry this heavy chip on his shoulder. He could never deserve absolution for being absent when his brother needed him the most.

For now, the anguish, guilt, and shame would his comeuppance. Time would make sure he paid his full penance before being reunited with Ben.

Survey #83

“i’m not afraid of the dark, i’m afraid of what’s in the dark.”

who’s your favorite author?   i don't particularly have one. how do you make your coffee?   i don't.  i hate coffee. what’s the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing?   panicking at a time when i shouldn't have been.  panic attacks in general are just humiliating. do you remember what you dreamt about last night?   YA'LL i had a nightmare that my family and i were in this fucked-up mix of re7 and "the evil within" oh god it was awful how do you feel about wearing leggings in public?   totally fine with it so long you wear your damn size. do you vape?   no do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?   i only enjoy two of their songs and have heard like three.  one of these songs happens to be my favorite song ever tho, so i guess that means something. do you have any male names picked out for future children? female names?   for boys, i really like severin, vincent, victor, and luther.  my daughter, if i ever have one, is 100% going to be alessandra quinn and no i am not compromising lol. have you ever been proposed to?   nope. how much irish do you have in you?   close to 50% ever looked into your family heritage?   no, but someone in my family has and made a huge family tree some years back.  found out we're distantly related to queen victoria and william clark do you think you have ever been in love? if so, with whom?   i don't just think i have been, i know i was with jason. do you like road trips?   as long as i have my ipod, yes. do you tend to waste a lot of money?   i don't get money to begin with, so. do you like someone?   i mean yeah. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?   i have. do you like olive garden?   it's probs my favorite restaurant do you plan on taking your husband’s last name if you ever marry?   yeah. what’s your favorite kind of alcohol?   i haven't drunk much, really, so i don't have much to pick from, but the best one i've ever had was this watermelon margarita thing. ever been in a near death situation? explain:   well, i got in a wreck once, but it was minor; nevertheless, the cops told my mom if she hadn't made one crucial move, we probably would've been flipped over dead.  i also overdosed once, so does that count? what is your biggest weakness?   probably just my insecurity in general. scene kids, opinions?   personally, i find the trend aesthetically pleasing.  i enjoy the style very much.  i'd actually die for scene hair.  but do you, man. how far out of your age bracket would you date?   i probably wouldn't go younger than 21 and no older than 28. have you ever had an std?   nope. is the area you live in more liberal or conservative?   conservative do you keep anything from a past relationship? (gifts, letters, etc)   i've kept literally everything jason's ever given me, and no, i won't get rid of it unless i see practical reason to.  no current partner will change my mind on that; he made me happy once, get over it. are you tan?   i'm pale as fuck what would you do if you were pregnant now?   accept it?  but that's legitimately impossible right now. do you know anyone who’s bipolar?   my half-sister is, my dad probably is, and i either have bipolarity ii or borderline personality disorder. what do you dip your chicken nuggets in?   sometimes honey mustard, sometimes ketchup. is the person you like older or younger than you?
   he's a bit older what would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you?   nothing?  i'm 21, it's not like they have any say in that matter. are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?  yes.  i really want my lip redone, snake eyes on my tongue, then my nose redone, then more holes in my ears again.  as for tattoos, yes, i have many in mind.  i was supposed to get one for my birthday too, soooo... that still hasn't happened. when was the last time someone held your hand?   few days back. if you could have any pet right now, what would it be?   the ball python morph i was supposed to fucking get for christmas.  i have the goddamn money for her, just my mom's being lazy per usual with just buying it already (it was put in her account).  i'm honestly starting to get paranoid she's just used the money by now. do you still pinky promise?   damn right son do you like to be called baby?   no, because i'm not one, i'm a woman who went through hell itself to get to where i am.  don't belittle me. how do you know you love someone, personally?   lol this makes me think of that van halen song that really describes it perfectly: "how do i know when it's love?  i can't tell you, but it lasts forever."  it's hard to explain, you just... know it.  you just have this feeling that doesn't go away, almost no matter what.  you have this unconditional fondness towards someone that few, if any, things can change. would you ditch friends to be with a bf/gf?   if i'd already made plans, no, but if my boyfriend really needed me for crucial reasons, yes, because he comes first. how many true best friends are present in your life?  i don't have a best friend, so. do you currently have a significant other?   yeah. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?  i only "hate" one person, and no, i wouldn't. think of your current or last bf/gf. do you/did you love them?  no, i don't love him yet.  we haven't even been together a month. has anybody ever dated you only for your looks?   lol no way, i don't have "looks" has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?   my ex was criticized by three people, yeah.  and it always pissed me off.  like is it your business, at all?  i'm the one who loves him regardless of how the fuck he looks.  i personally and sincerely was and still am attracted to him anyway, so none of your fucking business. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   "i can't handle your depression anymore," he said.  after three and a half years of having accepted it.  lmao. have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?   mhm. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   with my ex, yeah.  not with my current boyfriend. has anybody said they loved you, but you didn’t love them back?   yeah.  tyler does that now.  first of all i'm just like "um no you don't" because it's been what, two weeks?  i'm not going to say i love you when i know i don't yet. would you ever act as a couple with someone who didn't want to make it 'official'?   NO AND I KNOW TOO FUCKING MANY PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE STOP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET FUCKING PLAYED how many contacts do you have on your phone?  i legitimately only have 14 lol do you have a voicemail?
   no. have you ever taken a pregnancy test?   no. are you jewish?   no. does your ex still think about you?  most likely not. how many songs are on your mp3/ipod?  over 1,000 what’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?   "logan" w/ tyler biggest pet peeve?  being talked to when i am quite obviously listening to music and have no interest in talking.  bit bitchy to say, but just.  don't. do you like the beach?   not that much, to be honest. what smell reminds you most of summer?   the smell of barbeque do you still talk to the last person you made out with?   no, i don't. what do you usually order on a pizza?   jalapenos what would you order if you went to mcdonald’s right now?   mcdouble, medium fry, medium coke. are you obsessed with anything?   i have four things i'd consider legitimate obsessions: rhett&link/gmm, markiplier, meerkats, and silent hill. do you eat your pizza crust?   dude always, it's only the best part. what is the worst pain that you’ve experienced?   physical?  having a pilonidal cyst emptied.  i was seriously screaming and sobbing bloody murder because i was not drugged enough.  they gave me morphine and like five numbing shots all throughout and i was still 100% feeling what was going on jesus christ i will never do that again. who is the most attractive actor?   hm.  probably chris hemsworth. be honest, do you like people in general?   no. do you have a brother?  i have a half-brother do you prefer pepsi or coke?   coke, pepsi's gross. do you ever go hunting/fishing?   fishing, yeah, never hunting.  i couldn't. do you have any tattoos?  i have three. what are the middle names of everyone in your family?  mom and nicole: marie.  ashley: nicole.  dad: john. are you an organ donor?  mhm. would you steal under any circumstance, be it for survival or greed?  i honestly wouldn't be able to unless we were talking an apocalyptic situation where stores and such were abandoned, but products remained there.  but i guess that'd more accurately be called scavenging. what person, living or deceased, would you most like to converse with?  mark fischbach.  he's too inspirational for his own good. have you ever been profoundly affected by a teacher?   coach collie and mr. proctor, yes<3 have you, or do you commit substance abuse?  nope. what was the scariest moment of your life?   the moment after i overdosed and realized what i was doing. what’s your relationship with your sibling/s like?  we barely have one. are you ready for kids now?   definitely not. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it was pierced for years, then the fucking hole closed when i was in the hospital. >~> was your birthday good this year?  lmao no.  i was in a mental hospital.  take your guess. have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating?   no, because if you want that kind of attention from me, you better be dating me first. if your ex said they hated you, you respond with? why?   ha ha ha honestly the first thing i thought of was, "well your dick sure didn't" because facts are facts. have you ever passed out/fainted?  i have. would you rather drown or burn alive?   ... um. do you like to mow the yard?   i don't do it period. who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?   jason. what color is your father’s car?   shit.  i'm not entirely sure.  i think black...? how many pets do you have?   two. do you prefer broccoli or asparagus?   broccoli.  asparagus is gross. skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?   i like 2%.  we drink skim, but it's not my preference. was the last person you kissed physically attractive?   on the lips?  absolutely. now what are you listening to?   a gmm video. how many stories does your house have?   just one. do you get along better with shy/quiet people or confident/outgoing people?   confident/outgoing, if i had to pick just one.  i'm shy/quiet, and i guess opposites attract. outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often.   mark fishbach, link neal, rhett mclaughlin <3 if someone jokes about sex or sexual things does that make you feel uncomfortable?   sometimes in school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?   english when you were a kid, where did you think babies came from?   i thought they came from the mother's stomach, but i didn't know how they got out. what color are the eyes of the person you love or the person you’re currently interested in?   they're brown. was your last facebook friend request from a male or female?   male. think of the last person that betrayed you. if they said they were sorry, would you forgive them?   yes.  but that doesn't mean i'd welcome them back into my life. have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer?   yeah.  3 1/2 years. what ended it, or are you still involved?   he did.  according to him, he couldn't handle my depression anymore and i gave up on life.  i'm finally getting to the point where i almost don't care anymore.  he became a callous, insensitive prick. where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum?   that's fucking gross.  i throw it in the trash like a normal fucking human. what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss?   silent hill.  it's one of my passions that, very surprisingly, i am totally unashamed of and loving talking about it. what is your least favorite topic to discuss?   politics because i don't understand most of it. do you like oatmeal?   i'm picky about it.  i hate it with water, and if you use milk, it absolutely cannot have too much in it or it's disgusting. how many times have your comments been top comments on youtube?   very, very rarely.  i like never comment on youtube unless it's on a friend's video. have you ever tried to make a movie?   no, but i actually wanted to be a movie director once upon a time. do you like the moon or sun more?   moon. do you like turkey or ham more?   ham. have you ever slapped someone’s butt?   i don't think so, but i guess there's a small possibility i have to jason just to fuck with him?  oh wait, yes i have, i did it once playfully to chelsea and she moaned loudly lol. do you think dimples are ugly?   no, i think they're cute. do you like zebras?   yeah, sure.  they're very cute and so unique. who was the last person you talked to on skype/video chat?   we didn't use video, but sam.  brother from another mother. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the last person you kissed?   i just found jason attractive in general, but i guess his face in general.  he has a somewhat stern, but oddly attractive expression as his baseline. would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well?   yeah. what’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had with a significant other? you don’t have to go into detail, just talk briefly about it.   him leaving. do you have any traits that you obviously inherited from your parents?   i pace like my dad. what’s your favorite thing from olive garden?   spicy shrimp fritas have you ever thought of killing yourself?   i didn't just think of it, i attempted because i'm fucking dumb. what’s your grandma’s name?   maternal, cecelia.  i actually don't remember my paternal's. where did your last ex ask you out?   well, we were actually texting at the time.  both of us were at home. do you know any german words?   lots, yeah. what is the cutest animal?   meerkats!  especially the pups! have you ever held a starfish?   no, but that'd be cool. what is something that reminds you of your ex?   many, many things.  but i think more than anything, the song "easy to love you" by theory of a deadman has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?   no. which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?   chocolate bc i am honestly a fatass. do any of your followers on tumblr have your phone number?   on my main blog, one.  not on this one. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?   well, i love and like two different people.  i love jason, and i just find his face to be attractive in general.  i like tyler, and he has a cute smile. have you ever had mono?   no.  older sister has, though. do you prefer just water, or do you like to put in crystal light, ect?   neither, really.  i don't like water, and artificial sweeteners give me a headache. were you ever addicted to sims?  ever addicted, no.  but i really enjoyed the animal-oriented sims once. ever been to prom?   twice. what kind of music do you like?   mostly heavy metal. have you been to any concerts? if so, which ones?   alice cooper, yeah. what level do you play on guitar hero?   i do a mix of hard and expert now.  i used to get no lower than like 94% on expert when i played it a lot. what did you want to be when you grew up?   first an archaeologist, then a vet, a movie director, a game designer... do you have a pool?   no. is your last name unique?   no. do you know anyone colorblind, or slightly colorblind?   jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors. do you like pink?   yeah.  it's like my second favorite color. do you prefer rainbows or stars?   rainbows. would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?   aquarium what is your favorite planet in our solar system?   saturn! what element do you feel most connected to?   water describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another?   white ballroom gown with a sweetheart top and a cathedral veil.  will never be able to afford it, though. what medication do you dislike the most?   the ones that dissolve on your tongue. what skill do people often compliment you on?   artistic skills. if you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?   mark fischbach, and about positivity. what is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?   *shrugs*  if i really think about it, i think there are people that understand every aspect about me. what do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night?   light candles, play the gameboys. what’s your favorite coke product?   coke do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators?   me, a little bit. do you like country music?   nope. ever seen a jellyfish?   in aquariums, yes. do you think you were raised well?   yes, generally.  we should've been given more chores, but w/e. do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE?   yes. how do you handle stress?   i panic. do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?   HA HA HA YEAH RIGHT kids then marriage or marriage than kids?   hey, 90% of people, fucking get married first. do you think best friends can be replaced?   "replaced," no.  they can change, yeah, but not replaced. your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?   if it was jason, i'd greet him; tyler, i'd honestly just tell him to take a hint and leave me alone. your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your friend, who are you mad at?   both, obviously? why do some guys lie about not being virgins?   because of the pressure and stereotypes put upon them. would you ever stay with a cheater?   NOPE do you like wine?   i've never tried it, but knowing that it's bitter, i hiiighly doubt i'd like it. have you ever been pregnant?   no. are there too many teens getting pregnant?   one teen is too many. do you like obama?   i don't know much about him as a president, but i do know he's pretty funny. where was your first kiss?   on jason's bed. have you ever gone to a grocery store late at night? what did you get?   i'm guessing you mean really late at night?  yeah.  a few months back when i had my cyst, mom and i drove to walmart at like 4 am because i was in so much pain; i couldn't sleep. what’s the best name you can come up with for a snake?   i like crowley. ;v; do you think fish are cute?   some, sure.