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navybrat817 · 9 months

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Sundresses and Leather

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader Summary: Your first date with Bucky doesn't go as planned, but that makes it all the more special. Word Count: Over 4.7k Warnings: First date, tension, flirting, brief moments of insecurity, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. Previous Part of AU: Sweet and Strong A/N: More Hottie and Sugar from our Sin on Skin AU. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby (thank you for spitballing), but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Tonight was the night. You were going out with Bucky Barnes. Excited for the date was a bit of an understatement. You may have told a few customers you had a date when they wished you a good day.

Thank God they were mostly regulars and seemed happy on my behalf.

"Maybe a sundress isn't nice enough," you told Tess, regretting the words the moment they left your mouth. She didn’t need to deal with you and your overthinking. Again.

"It's plenty nice. You’re going to look amazing,” she argued, going to check on the next batch of cookies. “And he can lift the skirt and bury his-"

"I thought you said I didn't have to get laid on my first date with him," you cut her off.

"You don't have to, but the visual alone will give him something for his spank bank later."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence," you smiled, but it quickly faltered.

You weren’t sure why a cloud drifted over your sunny disposition. Bucky was a good guy, a far cry from Richard. Gorgeous, kind, hardworking, the whole package. There was chemistry between the two of you that went beyond mere attraction. Maybe it was the fact that you were falling hard and fast for him that suddenly made you so nervous. You didn’t want to scare him away.

But he said he couldn’t stop thinking about me and he wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it.

Tess gave you a pointed look. “Stop overthinking. I’m begging you.”

“I’m not trying to,” you sighed, your nerves almost tempting you to grab a treat from the case. “What if I fall on my face?”

“Like Bucky would let you hit the ground. Even if you do stumble, that’s life. It isn’t going to change the fact that he likes you,” she said as you helped her with the cookies. You still had work to do. “The guy said he can’t get you off his mind and to text him whenever you want. He does not strike me as the type to just say those things and I know he doesn’t strike you as that type either.”

It took a moment, but your smile came back. She was right. Life wasn’t perfect and you were far from it, but Bucky liked you just as you are. Tonight would be unforgettable no matter what.

“I appreciate the pep talk,” you said, thankful that she told you what you needed to hear. “I’ll even tell you the dirty details if anything happens.”

“Hell yeah, you will. Remember, at this point, I’m living vicariously through you until I find my own hunk,” she winked. “But I mean it. Have fun tonight and get your man.”

I will.

After your shift, you rushed to change for your date. You somehow managed to arrive a few minutes early outside of Bucky's shop and took a deep breath to get yourself under control. Catching your reflection in the window, you smiled before you turned away. Since Bucky hadn’t given you any hint for what you were doing, you chose your nicest sundress and kept your makeup minimal. You looked and felt beautiful, though you wished you would’ve brought a jacket with you.

Maybe Bucky will let me borrow his if he has one.

“Holy shit.”

You spun around when you heard Bucky’s voice behind you, your heart fluttering as he met you on the sidewalk. Instead of the jeans you usually saw him in, he wore khakis, a button up shirt, and a blue blazer that matched his eyes. He had his hair down, perfectly parted on the right side. You were so busy staring at the broad, handsome man that it took you a moment to realize he was trying to hand you something.

Flowers.

“Sorry. You just… wow,” he said as you took the small bouquet, sweeping his gaze over you as your cheeks grew warm. “You look so beautiful.”

You giggled and quickly covered your mouth with your hand, butterflies in your stomach when he gently smiled. “Don’t apologize,” you smiled back, taking a moment to smell the flowers. “You look pretty ‘holy shit’ yourself.”

His nose scrunched as he laughed and offered you his hand. “So, you’re telling me I clean up well. Steve insisted on the blazer when I said I wanted to bring my leather jacket.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Though I wouldn’t have minded the leather jacket,” you said. He would’ve looked gorgeous, as always. “And thank you for suggesting we meet here. We had a last minute order and I was scrambling."

"It's no problem. One of my clients was running a few minutes late and I almost had to take you out in jeans."

"I wouldn't have minded," you said. You both worked hard and understood that things would come up from time to time. "So, where are we headed?"

He cleared his throat as he led you to his car. “Well, do you want the good news or the bad news?”

Your stomach dropped a little. “Mmm. Bad news first,” you said after a moment. “Always better to end on a high note.”

“Bad news was I had planned to take you out on my motorcycle so we could have a picnic in the park. There was going to be live music and I would’ve asked you to dance,” he explained, looking up at the sky. “But…”

“The weather called for a storm tonight, didn’t it?” you mused, a wistful smile on your face when he nodded. The image of being in his arms under the stars as music drifted through the air made your heart skip a beat. It sounded like the perfect evening.

“Yeah. The band is rescheduling,” he said, tucking his hair behind his ear as he looked at the ground. “Then I thought I could take you to this art gallery nearby. They normally have these stunning paintings of landscapes and various statues, but the current exhibit is on human sexuality and reproduction. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but maybe it was too much for a first date.”

“Oh, come on. It couldn’t have been that bad,” you argued as he stopped and took out his phone.

“No?” he asked, tapping his screen before he showed you what you assumed was the page for the gallery.

“…That’s a giant dick,” you said before you could stop yourself, tilting your head as you stared at the phone. “And does that say BALLS?”

An older woman crossing in the opposite direction gave you an amused stare before you and Bucky burst into a fit of laughter. You had to hold on his arm to keep from collapsing on the ground. It was the funniest thing you had seen since you could remember and to think you almost saw it in person.

This date is off to a great start.

“Maybe I wanted to see a giant dick and balls,” you said once you caught your breath, pointing at him when he opened his mouth. “And don’t say ‘all I have to do is pull down my pants’ or something like that.”

But I know he has a big dick. I know.

He smirked as he started walking again. “Only if you ask me nicely, Sugar.”

He’s going to kill my ovaries.

“I’ll ask you very nicely, Hottie,” you teased, wondering exactly where you were going then. “If that was the bad news, what’s the good news?”

“I managed to get us a reservation at one of the nicest restaurants in town,” he said, standing a bit taller.

He’s trying to impress me.

“That's really nice. And I’m sure dinner will be amazing,” you assured him, hoping he didn’t beat himself up over having to change his plans. It wasn’t his fault it was going to rain. He could’ve taken you to a fast food place and it would’ve been fine because you were with him.

“Speaking of, I better get us there so we aren’t late,” he said, opening the door for you to get in. “Maybe if you agree to a second date, I can take you out on my bike and have that picnic.”

“I’d love that,” you smiled, carefully putting the flowers in your lap and trying not to appear too eager that he was already thinking of a second date. You glanced around the car when he got in and drove off, noticing it was cleaner than when he took you home days prior.

Did he clean it for me?

You grinned as he hummed along to the radio, watching as he drummed his fingers along the steering wheel. “You could’ve made it as a musician if you weren’t a tattoo artist.”

“Now you’re just flattering me, Sugar,” he said. “Believe it or not, if I wasn’t a tattoo artist, I would’ve liked to be a science teacher. I loved science and everything space related growing up.”

“Really?” you asked. He would’ve been a wonderful teacher, no matter what age group he taught. “Okay. That’s another date night.”

“What? Playing teacher?” he joked, taking his eyes off the road for a second to wink at you.

“No,” you giggled, carefully shoving his arm since he was driving. “We’re going to a science museum. That's our third date. I’m going to watch you happily geek out over everything.”

“Yeah?” he asked, glancing at you after he parked the car. “You’d do that?”

“Yeah, I would. I think it would be a blast.”

I just want to spend time with you.

A soft expression took over his features when he took your hand and brought it to his mouth. His lips lightly brushed your skin, heat pooling in your gut as he made eye contact with you. The look alone made you want to skip dinner and go right to dessert. Why not throw caution to the wind?

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he promised before he got out.

You exhaled slowly and mentally told your libido to calm down. At the very least, you had to get through dinner. He went through the trouble of getting a reservation at a nice place and you weren’t about to take that away from him.

“Oh, wow. I haven’t been here before,” you said once you got a look at the name. Richard used to brag about the place, but never actually took you. From what you remember, he said the food was supposed to be expensive. You didn’t want Bucky to splurge on you.

“I haven’t either,” Bucky admitted. A fancy place didn’t seem like his style. “But it looked romantic.”

You bit your lip as he opened the door, the flickering candlelight in the entryway alone providing an intimate ambience. The date may not have been what he planned, but he clearly did his research and put thought into doing something nice for you. When was the last time someone tried to do something nice for you? When did anyone go out of their way to make you feel special?

“Hello,” Bucky said as the hostess greeted you. “Reservation for two under James.”

James?

The hostess scanned her screen before she looked up. “I’m sorry. That name isn’t coming up.”

Bucky’s cheeks turned pink when you glanced at him. “It should be under James, miss. James Barnes. Reservation for two for 7pm. I spoke with Charles. He confirmed it.”

You moved closer to Bucky when the hostess searched through her screen again. As calm as he sounded, you sensed he was anything but inside. You hoped he wasn’t embarrassed. Maybe she skipped over his name. A simple mistake.

“Charles did make a reservation for you, but he entered it for 7pm next Friday,” she said as she looked between the two of you. “We’re fully booked tonight. I'm sorry, James.”

Oh, no.

There was a tick in Bucky’s jaw before he shook his head and you wanted nothing more than to hug him. “No, that’s… It’s for tonight.”

“I’m so sorry. I can see if we can squeeze a table in for you, but it’ll be at least an hour,” she said, shifting uncomfortably on her feet. She probably expected one or both of you to make a scene. "I can get my manager?"

Bucky swallowed when he looked at you, his cheeks still pink. The candlelight danced in his eyes, but all you saw was sadness. No. You wouldn't allow that. This was your first date and it was going to be amazing.

You put a hand on his arm, his muscles relaxing under your touch. "It's okay. I know this amazing place that’s right around the corner."

"Are you sure?" he asked, the hostess visibly relaxing when you nodded.

"You have a good evening," you said to the hostess and tugged Bucky back toward the door. "I'm sure. Trust me. We may even beat the rain if we walk now."

“Okay,” he said, avoiding your gaze as you left. “Fuck. This is the worst first date, isn’t it?”

Your heart broke for him. All he wanted was to give you a nice evening and everything he tried fell through. “Not even close. And you have nothing to apologize for. Charles messed up the reservation, Hottie, not you.”

“Yeah, he did,” he said, his lip tugging like he wanted to smile. “I just really wanted tonight to be special and since I couldn’t give you the date I planned, I wanted to at least give you something nice. I couldn't even do that.”

Hearing that made you stop, even when you felt the first raindrop. "Tonight is special because you're spending time with me. That's all I wanted," you promised, squeezing his hand for good measure.

"That's really all?" he asked as he squeezed your hand in return.

"Well, not completely," you teased as another raindrop landed on your shoulder. "Maybe a kiss at the end of our date."

A wide smile formed on his face as he leaned in, not quite kissing you. "Whatever you want, Sugar."

As romantic as it was to stand on the sidewalk with him, the rain began to come down harder and had you rushing with him around the corner. “If you're still disappointed, you’ll feel much better when we eat. Antonia’s has the best food,” you said, holding out your hand in a grand gesture as you arrived. “Tada!”

Antonia's was a bit of a hole-in-the-wall kind of place. Not extraordinary on the outside, but lively and bright on the inside. The food and service were top notch. It was one of your favorite places.

“Wait, Antonia's?” he asked, a twinkle in his eyes. “This is where you’re taking me?”

“Yeah,” you replied, suddenly nervous as you faced him. Did he not like it? “Is this okay?”

“This is one of my new favorite restaurants,” he said.

No way.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I designed one of Antonia's tattoos. And I decided to check out the place."

He's full of surprises.

"Then you know you're in for a treat," you winked.

The hearty aroma of the restaurant filled the air as you went inside and wiped some of the rain off your dress. Antonia was speaking with the hostess as you went up to the stand. The owner was involved in virtually every part of her restaurant.

"Welcome to…" Antonia began as she looked at you, then at Bucky, then back at you. "Oh! You two… it's a date!"

Antonia looks so happy.

"Hi. And yes. We're on a date," you giggled when Bucky sheepishly smiled. It was sweet. "You wouldn't happen to have a table for two available, would you?"

Antonia put her hand over her heart and flagged down a waiter with the other. "Lover's special for these two. Go."

You exchanged a look with Bucky, who appeared just as confused as you were. "Lover's special?"

"Yes, yes. Come with me," she said, patting Bucky's cheek before she took you through the restaurant. You expected her to seat you at one of the few empty tables, but she passed them to take you to a door in the back. "Tonight is special and that means a special dinner."

Your eyes widened at the sight before you once she opened the door. There was a lone table in the middle of the room, flowers similar to the bouquet Bucky gave you sat in the center. Unlike the bright main room, the dimmed lights gave the room a romantic glow.

Perfect.

"Peter will serve you. And if you need anything, just ask, okay?" Antonia asked, putting her hand over her heart again. Were there tears in her eyes? "Two of my favorite customers. Together! Enjoy!"

You had to pause and swallow the lump in your throat once she left you alone. A restaurant owner showed more enthusiasm for your date than your mom did for anything that involved you. She likely never would.

"You okay?" Bucky asked, pulling out your chair.

"I'm fine," you replied, refusing to let the thought of your mom damper the evening. "A little chilly. I should've brought a sweater with me."

Bucky removed his blazer and put it around you, tenderness in his blue eyes as he rubbed your arms. "I can't wait to see you in my leather jacket," he said, helping you take your seat before he took his.

Oh, he's going to give me his jacket? Am I going to only wear his jacket? Fuck.

"Thank you," you said, inhaling as he rolled up one of his sleeves beneath the elbow and then the other. You reached across the table to lightly trace one of the tattoos on his right arm. "It was nice of Antonia to put us back here."

"Then why did you look so sad when she left?"

He caught that?

"She just looked so happy to see us together and I didn't expect that. It's nice that someone is rooting for us," you said, tracing your finger along his wrist before you stopped. "I'm sorry. I should've asked before I started touching."

"Don't apologize. I like your touch," he said in a low voice.

You lifted your gaze, seeing fire in his eyes that had nothing to do with the dim lighting. When he turned his hand over to hold yours, you made no move to pull away. You wished you could put your hands all over him.

"Hi! I'm Peter!" The waiter greeted as he brought water to the table. Bucky didn't let go of your hand. "I'll be taking care of you tonight."

"Only one taking care of my girl tonight is me," Bucky said. As much as you loved hearing that, you were glad he gave poor Peter a tiny smile so he could relax. "I'm kidding. It's good to see you, Peter."

"Y-You, too, Mr. Barnes. And you, Miss. You have the best cupcakes in town."

"Thanks," you smiled, quickly putting in your order before you gazed at Bucky. "So, James. Tell me more about you. How long have you been friends with Steve?"

"James is my first name. Everyone calls me Bucky," he chuckled before he shook his head. "And that punk."

You smiled softly as you listened to Bucky, not at all surprised by how easily the conversation went. Steve was his best friend since childhood and they served together before they went into business together. It was evident that he took pride in his shop and respected everyone who worked there. He carried the same affection in his tone when he spoke about his sister, Rebecca. He liked to frequent art galleries with Steve, but also enjoyed riding his bike, reading, and everything science in his spare time.

I could listen to him talk for hours.

"You know, you haven't said much about yourself," he pointed out as he set his napkin on his empty plate.

"I haven't?" You asked.

"No, you haven't and I don't want to monopolize the conversation," he said, leaning forward to give you his full attention. "I want to know more about you."

You tightened the blazer around you, unsure of what to say. "My life isn't exactly exciting," you said, wishing you could think of something clever or fun to discuss.

"Doesn't have to be exciting. I just want to know you," he said before Peter showed back up.

"Would you like to look at the desert menu?" he asked as he took your plates away.

"I think you can bring the check. We're going to skip dessert," you answered, giving Bucky an assuring smile when he frowned. "Let's go to my shop instead."

If Bucky wanted to really know you, you had to tell him more of your story. Your bakery was the only place to do it. And it would be the perfect way to end the evening.

After you left the restaurant, with Antonia asking you to come back again, Bucky drove as safely as he could to the bakery. The rain didn't let up at all. You shrieked as you struggled to get the keys out of your purse, Bucky's blazer now soaked the longer you stood there. "Why didn't I get these out when I was still in your car?!" You shouted over the downpour.

"Why didn't I bring an umbrella?!" He yelled back, putting his hands over your head as if they would protect you.

The two of you practically fell through the door once you unlocked it and shut off the alarm. "We made it," you laughed, careful not to slip on the floor. He had his arm around you just in case. Tess was right, He wouldn't let you fall. "I'll get us some towels and you have your pick of any dessert I have in the fridge."

"You have any cupcakes?" He asked.

Your breath caught in your throat when you stepped back and caught the outline of multiple tattoos through his soaked shirt. "Yeah."

"See something you like?" he smirked, running a hand through his wet hair.

Fuck me.

"I do," you said, glancing down at yourself. "But I'm freezing and I owe you dessert."

Tess might also have words if I let Bucky ravage me by the front door.

You took Bucky to the kitchen and grabbed a few towels. It wouldn't dry you off completely, but it would help. You also put on some soft music. Not to set the mood necessarily, but just in case.

"So, this is where the magic happens," Bucky said, running the towel along his exposed skin.

"It is," you said, placing your hand on the counter. "You said you wanted to know me. It starts here."

"In the kitchen?"

"In the kitchen," you repeated, going to the fridge to take a container of cupcakes out. "I used to visit my grandparents every weekend when I was growing up. My dad wasn't around and my mom said it was for family quality time, but she never stuck around. The reality was that I cramped her style and she passed me off to them because she knew they wouldn't say no."

Bucky's jaw clenched as you let him take a cupcake. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," you said, gripping the lid tightly before you closed the container. "I remember crying because I wanted to take dance classes and try and make friends. My mom said I would be a terrible dancer and that it would be a waste of time and money. A great thing for a kid to hear, right?"

"Jesus," he whispered.

It wasn't exactly the happiest conversation to have, but you wanted to show Bucky a part of you that you didn't show to most people. "My grandma wiped my tears away and brought me into her kitchen. Said she had the perfect cure for the blues. Baking. And that's what we did every weekend until I got old enough to look after myself."

"Your grandma sounds amazing," he said, carefully examining the cupcake in his hand. "And baking became your passion."

"It did. She taught me to pour love into every creation I make. And that's what Tess and I do for others. If someone is having a bad day, at least they can have a treat and feel a little better," you said, pride in your eyes as you looked around. "My grandma supported my dream, but my mom almost disowned me for wanting to run this place. It isn't good enough in her eyes."

I'm not good enough.

Bucky's nostrils flared as he set the dessert down. "Your business isn't good enough for her? What the hell? It's flourishing. I can barely find a lull to come in to get some undivided attention. And your customers love you. She should be proud of you."

His defense of you was heartwarming. "Doesn't matter how successful my business is. She wanted me to marry rich, probably so she could get money from me, but I didn't. She berated me when I broke up with Richard. No matter what I do, I'm never going to be good enough in her eyes," you told him, patting the counter with your hand. "But this makes me happy and that's enough."

"That's why you were sad that Antonia was so happy about our date, wasn't it? Because your mom either doesn't or wouldn't support it," he guessed, reaching for you and pulling you into his arms. "She'll probably hate me. I'm not rich. Covered in tattoos."

"I don't care what she thinks of you. I don't need a rich guy or fancy dates. I just want someone who can provide companionship and support. Someone who respects and cares for me," you said, wrapping your arms around him. "A good, hard-working guy like you deserves the same."

It was too soon to voice it, but Bucky was the kind of man you needed in your life. Someone you could share parts of yourself with and know he wouldn't judge. A man who made your heart race beyond lust.

A partnership.

He stared deeply into your eyes and you had no idea what was going through his head, but his gaze told you so much. How could a pair of eyes be so expressive? "You're perfect, Sugar, and more than enough. You hear me?"

Tears welled up in your eyes before you blinked them away. He sounded sincere and unashamed at his declaration. You hadn't done anything to deserve such praise. "No, I'm not," you whispered.

"You are to me. You took a chance and asked me out. Soothed me when tonight didn't go the way I thought it would," he said, gripping your chin to recapture your gaze. "And you trusted me enough to share something vulnerable with me when you didn't have to. It means everything."

"I feel like I can open up to you," you said as the two of you slowly swayed to the beat. You couldn't remember why you were nervous about your date to begin with.

"And I'll take care of you. I mean it."

I hope he knows I'll take care of him, too.

"You know," you began with a soft smile. "Our first kiss was in your shop."

"It was," he smiled.

"So I think it's only fair that we have our second kiss in my shop," you said.

"You did say you wanted a kiss to end our date," he said, bringing a hand to the back of your neck, but giving you a chance to stop him.

You didn't.

Even though you expected it, you still gasped when he molded his mouth against yours. Your heart pounded furiously in your chest, making you both eager and pliant as he licked his way across your lips. When he brushed his tongue against yours and took possession of your mouth, you mewled. Desire nearly blinded you from the taste of him.

I want more.

"I don't want our date to end," you breathed, clutching his arms to steady yourself.

"It doesn't have to," he said, resting a hand on your hip. His eyes were dark and full of want. To have him look at you that way, how could you possibly end the evening with one kiss? Why deny yourself what you both wanted?

"No, it doesn't," you agreed with a coy smile. "So. My place or yours?"

So. How do we think the evening will go? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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blckbrdlove · 7 months

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cause i don’t want you like a best friend

paring: eren jeager x reader

summary: despite telling eren you want to take things slowly, the two of you jump into a relationship. much to mikasa’s dismay, the two of you seem very happy.

genre: fluff, smut, angst (for mikasa)

notes: PART TWO IS FINALLY HERE!!!!! i am so so sorry it took so long! life is crazy but i am trying. please keep in mind that there is still a lot coming. i am also not a mikasa hater, this is just a work fiction. any and all feedback is always appreciated! i will tag everyone on the tag list in the comments when i get a little more time later today! i have a few errand to run. as always, this probably needs more editing. title credits; dress; taylor swift

warnings: minors dni, fluff, quick getting into a relationship, newly established relationships, eren is a hopeless romantic, eren is a gentleman, eren is a sweet boy, eren falls in love with reader basically at first sight and has been smitten with her ever since, reader recently got out of a toxic relationship and is still healing- but is also very smitten with eren, unrequited love (mikasa), mentions of creampie, jealousy, smut, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), cucking (? mikasa listens while they fuck in a bathroom, and through the wall while they fuck), reader is implied to be bisexual, reader is very femme, reader gives mikasa a slight sexual awakening?, implied slut shaming from mikasa about reader.

word count: 9.3k

masterlist previous next

He’s late. Mikasa thinks to herself as she keeps looking at the entrance of the diner they eat at nearly every week.

“Where the hell is Eren?” Connie is the one to vocalize her thoughts, a twinge of annoyance in his tone as they’ve been sitting there for fifteen minutes waiting for him.

Before anyone can say anything else, the door chimes, signaling that someone’s walked in. Mikasa’s face lights up instantly when she sees Eren, and she doesn’t notice the look of hurt that’s cross Jean’s as he sits across the table from her.

Mikasa’s smile turns into a frown once she notices that Eren has you with him. You’ve got on a cropped light blue sweater with some light wash jeans, and the white sneakers you’re wearing have, what she can only assume to be hand painted, blue butterflies. Your makeup is, surprisingly, minimal. Just some light gloss and neutral eyeshadow that has a pop of blue in the inner corner.

Eren has a sheepish half smile on his face as his free hand scratches the back of his neck, “I hope you guys don’t mind, but I invited a, uh, friend to join us,”

You give a shy, half smile and a small wave, “I hope I’m not intruding, I told Eren we could always hang out later. He kind of insisted though,” As you look at Eren, your half smile turns into a dazzling, perfect smile. Eren grins right back at you just as brightly.

Armin goes to speak up, but Mikasa beats him to it, “Well you’re already here. So,” Her tone has everyone’s eyes narrowing in confusion as you look at Eren with a confused grin.

“Of course you’re welcome to eat with us!” Armin interjects before anyone can say anything else can say anything, causing Eren to smile softly at him before shooting a glare Mikasa’s way as he pulls out a chair for you next to Armin and sliding into the chair next to you.

Everyone notices the change in Mikasa’s mood, but no one comments on it. Sasha eyes you from across the table curiously, “Have we met before?”

You tilt your head to the side as you study her, she looks familiar but not enough for you to say you know her. Your eyes avert to the two boys at each of her side before you smile halfheartedly, “Hey you guys are on the football team, right?”

Jean nods as Connie loudly exclaims hell yeah, what about it. You shake your head and look back at Sasha, realization flooding you as you fight back a loud laugh. God, Hitch would have a field day with this one. “You got extremely, and I mean extremely drunk at a party after playoffs last year. Somehow you ended up in the kitchen with me and you kept eating my sandwiches. Even proclaimed your love for me, and offered to, in your words, eat me out for an extra dessert, when I gave you the cookies I had made for some of my friends.”

Jean and Connie bust out laughing at your confession while Sasha’s face heats up in semi-embarrassment. “Oh my god, that’s where that bag of cookies came from?”

Mikasa lets out a scoff at Connie’s words. Of fucking course you bake, just a real Suzie Homemaker. Eren’s head snaps in her direction, before looking over to you to make sure you were still engrossed in conversation with the three across the table; observing the way your eyes light up as you tease Sasha and tell her not to worry, you know you’re easy to fall in love with.

Yeah, you got that right, he thinks to himself.

Averting his attention back to Mikasa, a harsh whisper leaves his mouth, “What the fuck is your problem?” Mikasa’s eyes widen at Eren’s tone. Sure, she’s familiar with Eren’s hotheaded attitude after knowing him her whole life, but she can only count on one hand the number of times it’s been directed at her.

“W-what?” She honestly doesn’t remember what he said. Eren rolls his eyes, annoyed. “What is your problem? You were rude the other morning to her, and now you’re being shitty because Sasha already knows her? What the fuck is your deal?”

From across the table, Jean can tell things are heating up between the two and interjects before they can cause a scene. Despite knowing exactly what they’re arguing, they shouldn’t cause a scene over Mikasa’s one sided feelings in front of you, or in the middle of a restaurant. “Hey, how are your guys’ med school applications going?”

Eren gives Mikasa a look that tells her that their conversation is far from over before turning to Jean and letting out a laugh. “Eh, they’re going on my end, but I only applied to three.”

Your eyes are back on him, brow slightly raised in curiosity. “Oh, which three?” Eren smirks, looking proud of himself and ready to brag, “Harvard, Hopkins, and Stanford.”

His smirk deepens at the impressed look that crosses your face, “Oh, wow! Eren, those are really impressive schools!”

Too engrossed with you, he doesn’t notice the look on Mikasa’s face, but it’s too late and she’s already speaking up. “You didn’t tell me about Harvard and Hopkins?”

Everyone’s eyes are on her, and she tries to cover the distress in her eyes, but everyone notices pretty quickly. Eren’s eyes have confusion in them, “I didn’t know I had to tell you about every school I wanted to apply to?” Sure, it’s nice that they’ve all stuck together this long, but he didn’t expect her to be so upset over the possibility of going to different medical schools. She’s had her heart set on Stanford since she was fifteen anyway.

Your eyes peeking at her over Eren’s shoulder has embarrassment flooding through her, “No, I know. I just thought Stanford was your top pick, is all.” Eren nods, giving her an odd look before turning his body towards you, much like the rest of the table.

Armin speaks up first, awkwardly clearing his throat, “Annie told me you’re an art major?”

An enthusiastic nod comes from you, “Yeah! I plan on going to Italy after I graduate, actually. My mom knows this guy who lives there and he’s an incredible painter. I’d like to spend a summer there to learn from him.”

“That is so cool!” Sasha tells you, “What do you want to do with your degree?” Armin asks you, causing you to frown slightly.

It’s not that you don’t want to work, but you had been with Porco for so long and you guys had plans. He was getting some accounting degree so you could focus on doing things you like, he always told you he would take care of everything else, so long as you are doing something you enjoyed, he couldn’t give a shit. And while the breakup was most definitely for the best, if you’re being honest, you have no idea what you’re going to do with your life.

Both your parents are very empathetic about your situation, and after practically begging you to get out of it and told you multiple times that they’d take care of you no matter what, but you can’t help but feel guilt at the idea of just relying on their money forever. Even if you’ll end up with all of it someday anyway since you’re their only child.

Clearing your throat you look back to Armin and put on a fake smile, “Still to be determined. My mom does some design work, though. So I may work with her for a little bit.” Armin senses he struck a nerve, and before he can say anything else, the waitress comes back to take everyone’s orders.

You order waffle fries and a strawberry milkshake, opting to not embarrass yourself by ordering chicken strips. You would’ve ordered something else, but you didn’t get a chance to google the menu before you got here.

While the rest of your side of the table orders, the ding of the door draws your attention. Seeing Pieck walk in makes you frown, you had forgotten she works her now, not that you know anything about her these days. You’re surprised she even follows you on social media anymore.

Her gaze catches yours, and her eyes widen as she nearly runs into a table trying to get away from your line of sight. You have to refrain from letting out a huff of laughter, god how fucking pathetic. You’re so upset over someone who can’t even look at you? Fuck that and fuck her. Pieck was supposed to be one of your best friends, and sure, she was friends with him first, but you weren’t the only one who got treated like absolute fucking garbage by him. And she’s going to side with him?

Eren senses your mood has dampened slightly, and throws his arm around your shoulders, impulsively nuzzling his nose in your neck. A laugh bubbles out of your mouth at his actions, despite the fact that you try to hold it in.

Your laughter draws Pieck’s attention from the back where she’s hiding, guilt and longing consuming her body. Leaning against the wall, she takes a deep breath as she thinks about how badly she misses you, about how badly she fucked up. She wonders if you think she took Pock’s side in your breakup, and she wishes she could tell you that she hasn’t talked to him since two days after you broke up with him. She just can’t face you, what she did was bad enough. The sad thing is she knows that if she would’ve told you what happened after it had happened, you probably would have forgiven her.

Wiping her face, she sighs and pulls herself together so she can get to work, hoping she can ignore you and the stupid guy that’s latched onto you. What she can’t help but notice is the girl sitting next to him has the same look on her face that she knows she has on her own. Interesting.

Sasha and Connie’s eyes light up when you offer to make the cookies for them again, actually for them this time. The comment causes Sasha to flush in embarrassment despite the teasing wink you send her way.

Eren can’t help but feel his chest warm slightly at the fact you get along with his friends so well practically instantly.

Mikasa’s frown seems almost permanent at this point. Her heart hurts that the one person she wishes would notice doesn’t. The only person that notices is the one she wishes wouldn’t.

εїз

A few hours later, Mikasa is sitting in the living room of their apartment as she goes over advanced organic chemistry notes when Eren walks into the apartment. Trying to seem nonchalant, she doesn’t react despite the anxiety creeping up her chest, knowing he’s still upset about what happened at the diner this afternoon.

Eren does his best to ignore her, extremely hurt by her attitude earlier. He can’t fathom why she would act like that, especially when you were nothing but extremely nice during lunch, and the awkward car ride yesterday morning.

When minutes go by of him not saying anything, she thinks he may actually be seriously mad at her for her behavior. Armin walks out of his room before she can go confront him, asking him about you.

She doesn’t have it in her to listen to their conversation, trying to tune out what she does hear.

I really like her man, but she hasn’t been single long, she wants to take things slow.

Well I think you should lay your feelings on the table.

Coming from you? No offense, but Annie didn’t even know you existed until July.

Yeah, because I reached out to her during our summer class, telling her I liked her.

She tunes out the rest of the conversation, not wanting to listen anymore. She stares at the chemistry definitions and equations until she hears the door to the apartment slam and Armin goes back to his room.

εїз

Hitch walks into the apartment not long after you get home from lunch, sighing loudly before throwing herself on the couch and laying her head in your lap.

“Today was the worst,” She whines while your hum in acknowledgement, sticking your hand in her hair to rub her scalp.

“Agreed,” Her hand finds yours that’s in her hair, lacing her fingers with yours while she looks up at you with a pout. “Why was your day bad?”

A small huff leaves you as you set your phone down, “Eren’s friend seemed less than pleased to have to deal with them having to bring me home yesterday morning, and then today at lunch she seemed pretty mad about my presence.”

Hitch glances up at you with a raised brow, “I could’ve picked you up, but why would that still be bothering you today?”

You shrug before looking down at her, “I don’t know, I mean it’s not like Eren and I have anything but some tension. But I think I like him, I’ve only known him for like, two days though so,”

Hitch rolls her eyes, “Hun, you were with Porco for almost five years, and you were absolutely miserable for two of them. I’m not saying get into an immediate relationship with Eren, but if you like him, you should go out with him.”

Looking down at her with emotion swirling your chest, guilt creeping in, “But won’t it make me a bad person? Jumping into another possible relationship? Situationship?” Whatever it may be, you think to yourself.

Hitch is completely baffled at the thought, because you both know that Porco has been hooking up with girls left and right since coming back to school; a few of them having the nerve to dm you on social media in an attempt to brag. Not that you cared, if anything you’re desperate for him to move on.

She scoffs and sits up and grips your shoulders in her hands, fingers digging in almost painfully. “God no, and fuck anyone who thinks that.”

Despite her attempt at reassuring you, it doesn’t help much. Porco didn’t take your breakup well, at all. He spent two days sleeping on your parent’s porch hoping you would talk to him before your dad threatened to call the cops. The relationship wasn’t good, but you just didn’t want to hurt him anymore than he already is.

And you really don’t want him to try to hurt Eren.

“Why was your day bad?” Curiosity laces your voice. From the looks of her snapchat story last night, she had plenty of fun with Marlo after you left the party.

Groaning, she nuzzles herself back into her neck, “Stupid Marlo.”

Hitch and Marlo have been doing the off and on thing since they met freshman year at orientation. He wasn’t your favorite of Hitch’s boyfriends; you’re honestly surprised she never ended up with Colt.

For whatever reason, she really, really likes Marlo and quickly became attached to him, so you tolerate him like any best friend would. The past year has been weird for them, he’s so back and forth, indecisive about what he wants since graduation is coming up soon.

Running your fingers through her hair you let a sigh leave your mouth. She deserves better.

Lost in her own thoughts, Hitch makes a mental note to stalk all of Eren Jeager and his friends tonight. Just to be safe, she tells herself.

εїз

After Eren rushed out of the apartment, Mikasa immediately went and spent the next few hours lying in bed on her phone. At first she was just trying to distract herself with twitter, but then she ended up on instagram. On instagram, she finds herself on Annie’s page, and Annie’s page leads her to an old picture that you tagged her in.

The picture isn’t anything special, it looks like it’s from Annie’s nineteenth birthday, captioned with a simple black heat. It’s just the two of you, your cheeks pressed against each other’s while you smile brightly. Mikasa can tell that this was before you really started experimenting with makeup a whole lot, because your face is nearly bare.

She locks her phone and turns over, facing the wall as she takes deep breaths. She isn’t sure why she’s so fucking upset. You aren’t the first girl that’s managed to catch Eren’s eye, and you’re not the first girl he’s brought to their apartment either.

Maybe it’s the fact that she’s never heard Eren talk about a girl the way he does you. Or maybe it’s the fact that even before you spoke to him, he noticed everything about you.

Maybe it’s the way that deep down she knows no matter how hard she tried, Eren would probably never look at her the way she’s seen him look at you this week. His eyes would never light up when talking about her the way they do when he talks about you.

What was so special about you? Would he even have noticed you at all if he wouldn’t have been a TA for that stupid chemistry class?

Was it because of the way you dressed? Did he prefer your soft and pastel wardrobe to her nearly entirely black and navy one? Or maybe it was the way you styled your hair, that could definitely be it, right? No, no, there’s nothing about you that even stands out that much. You’re not even the type that he usually goes for.

Frustration courses through her veins the longer her mind thinks about it. There isn’t anything special about you, you’re no better than her. So why does he want you so badly? Why, why, why? Why hasn’t he ever wanted her?

Eren’s been her best friend since elementary school, along with Armin of course. She’s always loved him, always. Why doesn’t he love her the way she loves him?

She doesn’t even realize she’s crying until she feels the tears streaking down her neck and her sobs reach her own ears, god, she wants to throw up. She’s never been like this.

Sighing, she picks it up to find an instagram notification. pieck.finger is now following you!

Curiosity gets the better of her and she decides to look at her profile, only to find dozens of photos that include you, all the way up to her latest post which was dated July 9th. You’re wearing a very skimpy black two piece that barely covers anything and Pieck is clinging to your right side. In the background of the picture, Mikasa makes out Porco Galliard’s features that have a heated glare directed towards the two of you.

She continues scrolling, not even bothering to wipe the tears off her face, a few of her pictures are just candid selfies, pictures with a cat, and group pictures that include Colt Grice, Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, and of course Porco. There are also a few with you, Historia, and Hitch. The more she scrolls, the more she notices a lot of her pictures are of just the two of you, and she’s always got the same look on her face when she’s looking at you. Interesting.

εїз

Standing in front of your door, Eren’s mind, and chest, are running a mile a minute. He definitely should’ve called you first, and he knows he should’ve.

It’s after midnight and he’s not even sure if you’re awake still, but after talking with Armin, he knows it can’t wait.

Exhaling a deep breath, Eren knocks on the front door to your apartment, sticking his hands in his pockets while he waits for an answer. He thinks his heart might give out when you do finally answer, you’ve got on a satin pink pajama set with a loose braid in your hair. You always look so pretty, so fucking pretty.

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you look at him, “Eren? It’s late, is everything alright? I wasn’t expecting you,”

He nods quickly, hoping to reassure you as he takes a deep breath, “Yeah, I just, well you know,” Fuck this is going to be harder than he thought

Relief fills you and a small laugh leaves you as you shake your head, “I know?”

He sighs, and a slight frown takes over his features, “I just felt like I needed to come over here before I lost the courage,”

Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you frown slightly, “Lose the courage to what?”

Eren bites his lip, “I know I said I can take things slow. That we can take things slow,” you nod, biting your own lip causing him to groan.

“I want you so bad, not just in a sexual way. I just want you, and if you really want to wait then I can wait. I just want you to know that even if you still need time, I’m all in. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I really, really like you. I’ve had the biggest crush on you since last semester when you walked into Hange’s chem class,”

A hand runs through his hair as he sighs, “I just really fucking like you. And I know you just got out of a relationship a few months ago and want to take things slow, but I just don’t want someone else to come in and sweep you off your feet. “

Grabbing your hand in his own he laces your fingers together, “I just want you to be mine and we take things slow from there.”

Eren’s eyes are staring deeply into your own as he studies your reaction, the green in his eyes is extremely vivid in the hall light for some reason. Your mouth is dry as you take in everything he said, trying to decide what the best response is.

Because, god, do you like him. And him saying everything he just said makes you like him even more, plus your talk with Hitch gave you a lot to think about. Why should you continue to let Porco’s possible feelings dictate you and what you do? You aren’t his anymore. You’re just yours.

Thinking your silence is him misunderstanding what’s been building between the two of you for the past couple days, he takes a step back and drops your hand, causing you to frown, “Eren-“

“No, uh, it’s cool. I just, I think I misread this.” Turning around, he makes his way towards the elevator so he can go wallow in self-pity and insecurities, but your hand on his wrist stops him.

“I don’t think you misread anything.” Between your fingers wrapped around his wrist, where he knows his pulse is thumping erratically and deeply, and the soft tone in your voice, your words have him unable to move.

Gently, you tug his arm, turning his body back towards you. His eyes meet yours again, before they glance down to your lips and then back up again, noticing your eyes are on his lips. A shaky breath leaves his mouth, fanning over your face as your eyes close slightly. “Well, are you planning to kiss me? Or are we just going to stand here all night?”

He lets out a laugh at your words, before leaning down and connecting his mouth with your slightly opened one. His tongue lightly traces against your bottom lip as your arms link around his neck to pull him closer to you. Your teeth nip at his bottom lip, causing him to groan deep in the back of his throat. Hands grip your hips through the satin shorts tightly, but not tight enough to bruise.

He pulls away, hands reaching up to hold your face as he leans in again. He smiles against your lips as he feels you tugging him towards your apartment, praying your roommate out so he can fuck you like you deserve.

εїз

The past month has been the worst month of Mikasa’s life.

You and Eren have been inseparable; during the very rare moment the two of you aren’t together, he talks on and on about you. He didn’t even go home with her for fall break like they had planned on doing, instead he surprised you with an air bnb for that whole week in Maine.

Not to mention, you’ve also gotten into the habit of staying at their apartment half the week, which means that she wakes up to you moaning Eren’s name while she listens to the sounds of your skin slapping together, comes home to you straddling him on the couch.

It’s been damn near fucking torture, having to listen to your quiet, breathy moans through the thin wall that separates her room from Eren’s. Having to walk into the apartment and see you two eating some sort of food she knows Eren would never eat if he had any say in it.

Eren, above all else, has always been a creature of habit. Now it seems all those habits involve you. He’s melded his own, however messy it was, schedule to fit your own. He wakes up earlier so he can watch you get ready for the day, a small section of his closet has a few of your own articles of clothing while a drawer in his dresser holds your underwear and sleepwear. He’s also started eating three actual meals a day instead of an energy drink before class, leftover pizza at three when he gets home, and whatever Armin would cook for dinner at eleven before he fell asleep. No, now he eats some sort of breakfast with you, he eats lunch with you, and you’ve taken on helping Armin cook dinner in the evenings you stay at their apartment or ordering some sort of overpriced food that none of them have ever heard of when no one wants to cook. He also uses different soaps; they smell a lot better than the stuff he was using. Mikasa has to admit his hair has been looking softer the past couple of weeks.

The nail in the coffin for her was when you had class later than him one afternoon, so he went and bought new, softer, sheets for his bed. He’s used the same sheets since they moved into this apartment and now all of a sudden he wants new ones? When she had asked him about it, all he had told her was that it was time for a nice change, ‘s all.

It also doesn’t help that you’re friends get along really fairly well with their friend group, so weekly meet ups that used to be between Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Connie, Jean, Sasha, and Marco also now include you, Hitch, Historia, and Ymir. It’s almost like your groups have melded into one. Almost, but not really.

You’re like a parasite that’s not only infected Eren, but everything about her life.

Ymir is probably the one Mikasa could get along with the most, she’s the most laid back out of the four of you. Historia and Hitch are a different story, they’re fiercely protective of you and don’t seem to like her very much. She wonders if they’ve managed to notice something Eren’s been so oblivious to all the years in the few times they’ve joined in on game night.

She imagines that the three of you were mean girls in high school. It definitely fit; three pretty, rich, cheerleaders who don’t socialize with people out of their inner circle of friends. At least that’s what she likes to think, partially due to the harsh glares Hitch sends her when she thinks no one is looking, the other side of her likes to think that because, well pretty, rich, snobby cheerleaders.

Mikasa grew up in a well off family, but your dad is one of the best anesthesiologists in the country and you’re mom not only comes from an extremely rich family but is also an incredible designer. So while Mikasa definitely had a great home life, you’ve never heard the word no in yours.

Evidently, it seems like Eren can’t tell you no either, since he’s bought twelve dozen flowers in the past three weeks and taken you out on eleven dates since you two became official.

He loves taking you out, showing you off. Showing people that you’re his. Especially the guys on the football team when their hanging out with Jean and Connie because he knows it’ll get back to good ole Galliard.

More than anything else, she’s hurt. She, Eren, and Armin used to do everything together and spent so much time together, and now they both have girlfriends. She just feels alone.

While this has been the worst month of Mikasa’s life, Eren thinks it’s been the best month of his.

He’s loved spending the past month getting to learn everything there is to know about you and teaching you everything there is to know about him. You two have spent every possible minute together since he showed up at your doorstep early that Friday morning.

He doesn’t think he’s ever met someone so incredible. He truly has never enjoyed someone as much as he enjoys you, he enjoys you so much he has literally watched you watch paint dry and all he could think about was how good you looked in the lighting, the way the sun was hitting your face while you patiently waited for the green to dry so you could put the blue over it.

Sure, his mom was pretty upset that he bailed on fall break, but when he told her that he was going to spend it with a girl, she had been ecstatic.

Carla was starting to get worried that he would never settle down. When Mikasa had come by their house to visit, Carla threw questions at her about you. How you met Eren, what you were like, if she could show her a photo of the two of you.

Mikasa relented, loving Carla too much to not show her you. She wasn’t too sure if you even had photos of the two of you on social media, but the second her instagram loaded to her feed a picture of you and Eren with big smiles on your faces. Eren had on a black nike hat sitting backwards on his head, hair pulled back in its signature bun while you’re face is pressed up against his, pretty eyeliner lining your eyes with a lilac color sitting at your inner corner.

Carla had squealed in excitement when Mikasa hesitantly turned the phone around to show her the photo that Eren had simple captioned with a simple black heart. Gushing about how beautiful you are and how happy Eren looks and how good you two look next to each other.

Mikasa left pretty quickly after that.

That trip to Maine was the best last minute decision he could think of, but it ended up being one of the greatest ideas he ever had. You two spent a whole week just the two of you, eating fancy over-priced food that Eren knew his father would be livid about once he saw the credit card bill for this month, took fancy bubble baths in a ridiculously large bathtub, and Eren also got to take you to a few fancy museums. Not that he would ever admit it, but the museums were purely self-indulgent, he just wanted to listen to you ramble about all the different types of art, hear which ones you liked the most and why. He really just likes listening to you talk, honestly.

Currently you and Eren are curled up on the couch discussing Halloween costumes to wear for the party one of the frats is hosting tonight. Eren thinks you guys should be a doctor and sexy nurse, typical. But you’re insisting that you have to keep up with the original costume idea that you, Hitch, and Historia already have planned out. Telling him that you thought the costumes were hot and a good idea!

“I’m just sayin’, angels are pretty basic, baby.” Eren tells you for the third time causing you to groan, “Well, for one, we’re going to be sexy angels and two, we always dress up together! I can’t just bail.”

You have a valid argument, from what is on your instagram page, the three of you have done costumes together since middle school, which is over a decade. Last year the three of you were the powerpuff girls, given you were the powerpuff girls in lingerie, but powerpuff girls, nonetheless.

“Oh! You could be the devil! It would be perfect; we could be dressed up together and I don’t have to change my costume! It’s a win-win!”

With how excited you sound; one could assume that you just solved world hunger or something. Which Eren definitely believes you could. You’re a lot smarter than everyone seems to give you credit for.

“Oh yeah, a big bad devil looking to taint a pretty, innocent little angel,” Eren’s voice drops to a low, seductive tone. Hand reaching down to creep at the hem of the pretty, lavender satin shorts you’re wearing under one of his t-shirts.

“Oh, most definitely,” You play along as his hand moves from the hem to the waistband, tracing the dainty lace that he knows is black.

“Mhm, too bad I don’t have anything to wear,” You roll your eyes and huff on a sharp laugh.

“Eren, all you need to wear is black jeans and a black t-shirt. That’s nearly all you we-“

He cuts you off when he sinks his teeth into your neck and his fingers dip into your panties, “E-eren!”

His middle finger traces your clit, applying barely any pressure as he lightly circles the sensitive bud. Relishing in the way your body has come to react to him.

Just as he’s about to pull your pants off and go to town, your phone rings causing you both to groan loudly, a cry of frustration leaving your mouth as he pulls his hand from your panties to grab your phone from the coffee table to give you.

“Hitch, I swear to go-“

Eren doesn’t hear the whole conversation, he doesn’t really need to, knowing that Hitch is probably just calling to make sure that she and Historia can still come over to get ready for the party since Eren offered to drive you guys because Ymir has to work later than she planned.

“Oh? You’re in the parking lot? I thought we said six?” Eren sighs and stands up, adjusting his pants as he goes to prepare his room for whatever it may be about to witness. He wouldn’t ever complain about your friends, especially since they love you as much as they do. But this is definitely not the first time Hitch has shown up when you two are about to fuck.

“I’m really sorry about this,” You start apologizing, knowing he’s about to be kicked out of his room so you three can get ready.

“No! Don’t be, I offered after all,” He laughs and scratches the back of his neck, the last thing he wants is for you to feel unwanted in his home.

You give him a sheepish smile, a slight glint in your eyes as your hold up the bag with your costume, “To make up for taking over your room, you wanna help me put this on?”

Green eyes suspiciously look at the bag, taking it from your hand and opening it, he has to bite his lip to hold in the groan he’s about to let out when he sees the heaps of white lace.

“You’re killing me, baby.”

εїз

Eren’s definitely basking in the fact that you and you’re friends have taken over his bedroom. He feels like a real boyfriend, having been kicked out of his room so the three of you can get ready.

Armin and Annie are dressed as some couple from the show they watch together, but they look cute together as they sit on the couch while listening to Eren ramble about your costume that he helped you put on before your friends got there.

“Is Mikasa going?” Annie asks off handedly as she looks between Armin and Eren. Annie isn’t stupid, she knows Mikasa’s been feeling lonely and left out. It makes her feel bad, knowing that even though Mikasa is more hurt because of Eren, Armin being busy is also affecting her.

Eren shrugs while Armin answers, “She had said something about not having anything to wear, so I don’t know,”

Speak of the devil and they shall appear, because Mikasa walks out of her room the second Armin says that.

She’s got on a black and red plaid skirt that she’s pulled up a few inches, and a white button up that’s tied above her navel. She looks kind of like Britney Spears in the ‘baby one more time’ video. She’s also got on a lot less makeup that normal, which causes the three on the couch to do a double take.

“You look great!” “Wow,” “You look different?”

Annie cuts Eren a sharp glance as his words come out more as a question than a compliment, and Mikasa twitches uncomfortably under their stares.

Before anyone else can say anything, you walk out of Eren’s room wearing a white lacy lingerie set, a pretty white robe . The lace sits pretty on your skin and your hair is curled nicely. Pretty gold and white liner lines your eyes, with sparkly pink gloss makes your lips shine. The little halo headband you have on pulls the whole look together.

“Oh wow!” Eren’s eyes on you as he stands, taking your hand and twirling you around so he can get a full look, as if he didn’t see you in it just a little bit ago when he helped you get it on.

Mikasa’s eyes are wide with a bit of shock, her voice speaking her thoughts before she can catch herself, “That’s what you’re wearing?”

Eren’s head snaps towards hers, eyes dark when he sees the judgmental look on her face. “What’s wrong with what she’s wearing?”

Mikasa let’s out a slight laugh, not realizing how upset her is by her statement, “Well, I mean, it’s literally just lingerie? You’re gonna let her go to a part dressed like that?”

Before anyone can say anything else, Hitch walks in with Historia at her tail, eyebrows raised as Eren responds, “It’s Halloween, I really don’t see a problem, Miks.”

Hitch and Historia are both standing next to you, wearing near identical outfits, waiting to see how the next few minutes are going to play out.

“I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just saying you’ll probably just catch some attention.” Armin winces at her word choice and goes to speak up before things can get any worse.

“Hey now-“

“Even if there was a problem with what she’s wearing, it’s none of your fucking business. She looks great and worst case scenario I have to knock someone out.”

Eren’s tone has you shift uncomfortably as Mikasa scoffs at him, “Eren, don’t be rid-“

“End of discussion, Mikasa.”

Hitch, though loving his response, coughs awkwardly at the tension rising in the room, “Well, as amusing as this has been, Ymir is already on her way to the party so we should head that way.”

Historia nods in agreement, reaching for her phone to text Ymir that you guys are about to head that way.

Armin sighs and stands, “Who all is riding with me?”

“Mikasa can ride with you.” Eren doesn’t hesitate with his words as he hands you his keys and tell you to go start that car, he’s just gonna go get his horns and then you guys can go. You awkwardly give Mikasa a half smile before you, Hitch, and Historia walks out of the apartment, and Mikasa rolls her eyes in annoyance.

Eren looks at her, shaking his head in disappointment, “You don’t have to fucking like her, but you have got to fucking respect her, Mikasa. Basically slut shaming her and her friends? Seriousl?”

He doesn’t give her time to respond before he’s walking out of the room, slamming the front door as he leaves.

Armin gives Mikasa a pity filled look before shaking his head, “What you said was unnecessary.” With that he grabs Annie’s hand and leads her out of the apartment. Mikasa sighs before following after them, slight guilt gnawing at her.

εїз

The party is in full swing by the time you guys walk in, Historia rushing to find Ymir while Hitch goes to see if Marlo ever showed up. You and Eren elect to go find drinks in the kitchen, Eren promising to limit himself to one beer so you can have a good time with your friends.

He’s got his hand on your waist, flaunting you and your pretty self to everyone there. It’s an ego boost knowing that people want you, and they’re more than welcome to want. But only he can touch you.

You, lost in your own world of Eren, don’t notice the looks you’re getting. The hair sticks up on the back of your neck when you see Porco with Reiner playing beer pong out of the corner of your eye, but Eren keeps pulling you along to the kitchen. Not even letting you pay attention to him as Eren sends him a cocky smirk and wave.

After a few drinks you manage to find your way back to Historia and Hitch, the later grinning and pulling you into her when she sees you. “Oh my gooood! I thought Eren was going to hold you hostage all night!”

Historia nods in agreement at your friend’s typical over-dramatic drunk self. “Yeah! We should go dance!”

You look back to Eren, eyebrows slightly raised as he smiles at you, nodding for you to go ahead as he takes your cup. “I’ll just hang out with Ymir,” He tilts his head over to her, standing in the corner glaring at anyone who looks at Historia for too long.

You smile back brightly, kissing his check before running off with your friends.

Mikasa regrets coming to the party. The schoolgirl getup she’s wearing doesn’t really look any different than what she normally wears, just a lot less material, and she’s practically alone since Annie and Armin came together. Sure, Sasha and the other guys are here, but she wishes Eren was here with her.

She’s been drinking since they got to the party, regret swimming deep inside her as she remembers how upset with her Eren was as he was leaving for the party.

Jean’s been trying to get her attention all night, and if she were in a better mood maybe she would have indulged him a little so she could have some validation that while the one she wants may not want her, but someone does.

It makes her feel sick, knowing she would stoop so low to get some validation from someone who has genuine feelings for her, but she can’t help it. Being wanted by someone feels good, even if you don’t want them.

Instead, she watches Eren from across the room as he stands next to Ymir, the two of them holding yours and Historia’s cups, talking to her while they watch you, Hitch, and Historia dance and grind on each other.

She wonders if it makes him hard, the way you dance with your friends. You’re facing Historia with her hands on your hips, toying with the pretty tulle fabric that sits there with thigh sitting in between your own while Hitch is at your back, right up against your ass while her hands sit at the pretty lace at your ribcage. Head leaning back into Hitch, your one hand travels in front of you to the back of Historia’s while the other goes behind you to rest at Hitch’s nape.

Mikasa feels her underwear damped slightly with arousal, much to her confusion, as she watches the three of you, eyes unmoving from your bodies as it becomes harder to tell where one beings and the other ends. She wonders what it would be like to be sandwiched between you and Historia right now, if she would feel heat coming from your own core’s as she danced between the two of you. Or maybe to be in between you and Hitch, she wonders where your hands would be on her if she were stuck between you and your best friend, if they’d be on her at all.

He’ll fuck you tonight, well he fucks you every night. But the way he’s looking at you now, you and Mikasa both know he’ll be fucking you tonight until your too dumb to even think about anything other than the way his cock makes you feel.

“Um, wow,” She hears Jean say. She doesn’t have to look up to know he’s talking about the three of you, practically everyone at the party is watching.

Annie hums and looks over at you guys before back over to the group, “Oh, they’re always like that. It used to bother the fuck out of Galliard, especially on nights like tonight when they’d be dressed like that. I bet Reiner’s about to cream his pants if he’s here and can see.”

Connie gulps slightly, eyes not moving, “This, uh, this happens often?”

Annie snorts, “All the fucking time.”

“Oh.” “Nice.” Marco and Sasha speak up at the same time, it’s no secret that Sasha definitely has a little crush on you.

“I guess. It’s nice to that Eren isn’t getting pissed off, though.” Annie seems genuinely happy about that, for some odd reason, but Mikasa tunes out the rest of the conversation as her eyes move to Eren.

Armin lets out a laugh, “Yeah, like Eren would go put a stop to that.”

Annie looks up at him, genuine curiosity seeping through her blue eyes, “Is Eren a cuck?” Connie nearly spits out his drink while listening to Armin try to clear up the confusion he may have just caused.

“So, uh, not to be like, well that guy or anything. But have the three of them, ever, well you know?” Ymir’s dark eyes move from Historia to Eren’s, a teasing smirk on her face and eyebrows raised.

“Oh, absolutely.” Her answer causes Eren to choke on air. With wide eyes he looks at the three of you and then back to Ymir in question

She laughs and rolls her eyes, “Oh my god, no! They haven’t all three had some insane, incredibly sexy three way.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, not for sure if he would be able to compete with someone like Hitch for your affections. Historia, obviously, is in love with Ymir so she is something he wouldn’t have to worry about, but Hitch? She knows you better than anyone else, she knows everything there is to know about the ins and outs of you.

“Right, no. Of course not.” Ymir laughs at him in slight mockery before looking back at the three of you. “They’ve definitely made out, though.”

“Right.” Eren has to physically shake his head to get the thought out of his mind before he excuses himself from Ymir to make his way over to you.

Your eyes light up when they find his green eyes that are currently dark with an emotion you’ve become all too familiar with the past month.

“Hey, pretty,” You worm your way out of Hitch’s hold and launch yourself at Eren as if you hadn’t seen him for days.

“Hi!” He smiles fondly at you, “Are you having fun?”

You nod, “Oh, yes! The most!”

As glad as he is that you’re having a good time, he’s getting really fucking hard. Given, he’s been half-hard since you showed him what your costume is, but seeing you dance with your friends the way you were made it damn near worse.

Leaning close so his mouth his by your ear, “Come with me for a few?”

Though comes out as a question, you know better and nod excitedly as you let him pull you upstairs to an empty bathroom.

Eren has you sitting on the counter before the door even closes all the way, hand immediately going to the back of your neck to pull your mouth to his. His kiss is just the right amount of rough, tongue rolling with your own after his teeth bite at your bottom lip.

You whimper lightly as he pulls away to trail wet and sloppy kisses from the corner of your mouth to your jaw and then to your neck.

He bites down when you shift your hips to grind against his denim clad cock, trying to hold in a groan while your own voice goes up in pitch due to the friction of the denim and lace against your throbbing clit.

He peels your panties off of you as he pulls his head from your neck. He quickly presses his mouth back to yours as your hands make work of his belt, drunkenly trying to pull it from the buckle as he distracts you with his tongue.

He pulls away just enough to laugh at your frustration as he helps you with his belt, then pulling his pants down just enough for his hard cock to spring free, one hand moving to your waist to pull you closer to him as the other one works itself up and down his cock to try to relive some of the tension.

“Can you be quiet for me? I can’t wait, but if you’re good I’ll make it better when we get home,”

You nod, head buzzing with lust and alcohol but the submissive gaze in your eyes is still there. Eren likes that you’re like this. Submissive, wanting to please him, wanting him to please you, but just taking whatever he gives you with a bright smile.

Shifting you, he moves your body, so you ass hangs off the edge of the counter and spreads your legs a little wider so he can place his body between them. Pretty lace hangs off of your left ankle as you bend your knee slightly to help give Eren a better angle of your clenching cunt, shining with arousal that’s been brewing since your fun was interrupted earlier.

He guides his cock into you, groaning at the way you clench down on him as he pushes his way inside you. He knows he should’ve prepped you a little first, but he just can’t help it.

The sharp pain causes tears to well in your eyes as his cock bullies its way into your tight cunt. Eren tries to hush you when little cries come out of your mouth, but his own groans are almost louder than your noises your making.

He can’t help himself; your cunt is clenching down on him so tightly as he slowly works his way in and out.

The pain starts melting into pleasure after a few minutes, whines laced with pain turning into sharp gasps of pleasure. Your legs tighten their grip on his torso, signaling for him to move faster, to fuck you deeper. Eren, being the giver he is, does just that.

The sounds of your skin slapping together is drowned out by the music downstairs, but Mikasa can hear it clearly as she stands outside the bathroom door with her ear pressed against it. She isn’t sure why she’s doing this to herself, listening to Eren moan your name while he fucks your sloppy cunt, as he calls it.

She isn’t sure why she continues to listen as your moans get louder, signaling your orgasm, she doesn’t know why she continues listening as Eren’s thrusts get audibly louder as he fucks you harder and faster, trying to fuck you through your orgasm.

She especially doesn’t know why she continues to listen when Eren starts moaning, telling you how he’s going to fuck you so full of his cum and you’re gonna take it like the good girl you are.

Mikasa isn’t sure why she does the things she does, but she finds herself back in Jean’s presence after watching you leave with Eren right after fucking in the bathroom. Giving your friends the excuse that you’re feeling tired and want to go lie down.

She especially doesn’t know why she does what she does when she lets Jean fuck her again, and she yet again lets the guilt eat at her when she hears him mumble to himself that he loves her.

εїз

When Mikasa comes back into the apartment, she finds you in the kitchen. She wants to die, and not deal with you right now, but you think that this might be the perfect moment to try and clear the air between the two of you, since you’re fairly certain Mikasa doesn’t like you.

You smile at Mikasa softly from across the kitchen, “I don’t think you like me much, do you?”

Discomfort rises in her as she shifts awkwardly on her feet, eye’s not moving from your own and you take a sip of water from Eren’s favorite cup.

“What would give you that impression?”

You bite back a laugh at her, “Not to be rude, it’s kind of obvious. But I get it!”

Her eyes widen. Do you get it? Do you actually really? Get it? Do you know that she’s in love with her best friend. Your boyfriend.

“You do?” It’s quiet, and you almost don’t hear her, had it not been for you seeing her mouth move in the soft glow of the refrigerator light you wouldn’t have notice she responded at all.

“Oh, most definitely! As a best friend, it’s your job to protect him from anyone who may be bad news. I do that for Hitch and Historia. And it’s really understandable! I know Eren’s never had a serious girlfriend or anything like this before, so I get you being weary of me,”

She has to tune out the rest of your stupid blabbering. You really don’t get it.

Part of her wishes that you did know; that you did hate her for loving your boyfriend. She wishes that you would tell Eren how much you hate her, that she isn’t a good friend for him, to try and drive a wedge between their twenty some odd years of friendship.

She wishes you would show him your true colors so he would hate you as much as she does.

“but yeah, I really do like him, Mikasa. He’s really good to me and I think we make each other really happy.” The fondness in your voice when you speak to him makes her snap her attention back to you, and she has to fight an eyeroll when she looks back at you and sees you smiling at her, a hopeful shine in your pretty eyes.

She doesn’t know what comes over her when she says her next words, “Well, like you said, Eren doesn’t really do girlfriends. So, I imagine whatever infatuation he has with you will wear off sometime soon. I think you give him too much credit, it’s only been, like a month anyway.”

This bitch, you think to yourself as your gaze hardens slightly. A feeling rising in your chest that you’re unfamiliar with as you bite your lip, “Okay.”

Mikasa quietly watches as you take the mug, dump the remaining water out before setting it in the sink, turn around and leave the kitchen.

“Good night, Mikasa.”

And before she knows it, she’s alone again. While you’re in bed waiting for Eren.

#attack on titan x reader #fic: ioblwbbrbig #aot x reader #eren yaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #i know this took so long #and i am so sorry that it did!#but thank you to those who have bared with me!!#i love each and every one of you!#part 3 will be here soon!

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years

Text

The Trouble of Love Languages

Dean Winchester x plus size reader

Dean’s love language is quality time and acts of service while the woman he loves most in this world craves physical touch, which is the one thing he can’t stand.

Warnings: angst to fluff, they’re both in a bit of the wrong here, Dean has touch aversion, arguing, Dean is definitely an asshole with lots of unresolved issues, slightly toxic relationship?, break up, reader is ever so slightly touch starved, lovers to ex’s to lovers again, drinking, crying, comfort, hopeful ending, Sam is a good wingman

WC: 4.7k

Minors DNI

Dean Winchester hated to be touched. After spending all of his life with minimal kind physical touch with the people he cared about, it was no wonder he had an aversion to it. He could put up with a hug or slap on the back to his brother and fleeting kisses to his girlfriend’s cheek or forehead but everything else was off limits.

She did her best with what she got but sometimes, she just wanted to be held against his broad chest and inhale his unique scent of cheap cologne and gunpowder with just a hint of cherry pie. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly to her but her love for the hunter kept those needs locked behind a steel door that she never noticed had begun to rust.

Y/N sighed, putting down the massive book on werewolves that she had been studying for the past few hours. There was a tight band around her head that was slowly drawing tighter and tighter as a killer tension headache set in. She glanced over to the other side of the library where Dean had his feet perched up on the table as he leaned back in his chair, mindlessly sucking one of the lollipops Y/N had bought for Halloween.

He was only wearing a gray henley today instead of his usual many layers of plaids and shirts so she could see, very clearly, the way his muscles moved under the fabric and the slight pudge of his belly. Those dazzling green eyes were fixed on a new edition of some car magazine he picked up on the way back from a hunt. Y/N couldn’t help it.

Slipping from her own chair, she glided over to him. “What’cha reading?”

“Magazine.” He grunted but she knew he wasn’t being mean, sometimes Dean just didn’t want to talk. Without thinking, she laid her hands on his thick shoulder and gave them a squeeze.

Dean flinched out of her grasp, turning so quickly that Y/N had to take a step back to avoid being knocked over. His chair clattered to the floor as the library settled into an explosive silence. Y/N knew Dean could be scary, he’s been through so much trauma, seen and experienced things twenty times over that no human should ever have to see or experience even once. He told her of his time in hell and as a demon but promised that she would never be scared of him because he would protect her.

But now, as his chest heaved with heavy breaths, he was positively terrifying. “How many times have I told you not to do that?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “You know I don’t like to be touched and yet you still continue to do it. How long is it going to take before you get it? I. Don’t. Want. To. Touch. You.” His voice was level but filled with anger, a rage she had only seen when he confronted the worst kinds of monsters imaginable.

“Dean I’m sorry I-“

“You know maybe we shouldn’t even be together. Time and time again, you do this and you always say you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again but then a couple days later, you do.” Y/N’s heart was breaking right in front of the hunter but he was too blind with fury he couldn’t see it. “I can’t be with someone as fucking needy as you. It’s every goddamn day! I can’t get one second of peace with you being so clingy.”

That was the last straw. Y/N pushed a finger into his chest, shoving him backwards. He knew how insecure she was about her need for affection and constant reassurance, but until now, he never made her feel like it was an inconvenience. “Then yeah we shouldn’t be together. But you’re not going to be the one to break us up, I am. You’re a selfish man Dean Winchester. I don’t ask a lot from you. I ask that you take care of yourself, that you don’t cheat on me, that you treat me with respect and maybe the occasional hug so I don’t feel like one of your one night stands when you roll off of me after sex.

“I deserve someone who wants to be near me, who tries to understand what I need instead of brushing me off because you don’t want to make the effort. I am sick of being treated like a toy you can pick up and put down whenever you want a quick fuck or comfort. So Dean, you got your wish, we’re done.” Y/N turned and stormed off, her eyes burning with tears that didn’t fall until she could no longer hear her now ex destroying the library.

It was sad how quickly her bags were packed, only a duffle bag and a backpack that housed her entire life. She paused as she lifted the flannel she often wore to bed, the red and black fabric was soaked in Dean’s scent and never failed to make her feel safe every time she wore it.

It felt like a reminder of her faults, of all the things wrong with her that he couldn’t put up with. Scoffing, she threw it onto the bed they had shared only a couple hours ago. There was a quick knock on the door jam.

Sam, the gentle giant that he was, leaned on the wood, brown eyes big with concern. “Where’s Dean?”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” She snapped, quickly zipping up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, barging past him.

“Hey hey, what’s going on? Did you and Dean have a fight?” He trailed after her like a puppy, sadly watching as she stomped towards the garage which notably was missing the prized Impala. A cruel part of her mind cooed that it was probably parked at some bar where he would find someone better than her.

“If you can call it that.” She muttered, throwing open the door to her truck and shoving her stuff in. Just as she was about to climb in herself, Sam’s hand wrapped around her forearm to hold her back.

“What happened?” Tears quickly rolled down her full cheeks, wetting the shirt she was wearing as they made their way down her neck. She turned to look at the men who had become her best friend, her voice firm with a slight quiver of sadness.

“We broke up.”

With a quick pull of her arm, Sam released her and she stepped into the cab of the truck. She rolled down the window, giving him a somber look. “Take care of him, ok. And-“ Y/N debated her next words carefully before speaking again. “Tell him I love him, even if he doesn’t believe it. He needs to know he’s loved.”

And with that, she drove off, leaving behind a very confused Sam and a life that she wished she could have kept.

——————

Another town, another hunt, another bar. That’s how it always went and for a long time, Dean was content to keep it that way. Then she blew into his life like a hurricane, knocking everything off path and forging her own. No more random hookups or drinking beer with every meal. She even made him get rid of all the guns he mounted on the wall in his room.

And now, the hurricane had passed, leaving behind destruction and a hole the shape of her in his heart. But she would not come back, he made sure of that when he called her clingy. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He regretted it the moment it left his mouth and watched as the light in her eyes died.

She was gone, because of him, because of his stupidity he lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and the only thing he could do was accept it. So, he went back to his old ways, paving over the path of destruction in his soul the only way he knew how, beer, hunts, and women.

Sam decided to stay in the motel that night, shooting his older brother a look so devastating that Dean couldn’t meet his eye for fear he would see the disappointment and pity he already felt in himself. But Dean slipped out the door anyway and headed for the closest bar, truly not giving a shit if it was any good or not.

The music was too loud, the lights too dim, the beer too stale. Dean, however, was determined to stay, trying to convince himself that he could go on without her. He downed his first drink quickly, not letting the taste hit his tongue before his glass was drained. Signaling for another one, he rested his elbow against the sticky bar counter.

It was familiar, like returning to your childhood home. But it felt wrong. The voice in the back of his mind was screaming at him to leave, to find her and crawl on his knees begging for forgiveness until she came back. That voice was silenced with another glass of cheap whiskey.

The hand planted on his chest was familiar too. A touch he could tolerate because he knew what came after, sweaty bodies rutting together until that rush of dopamine hit him and he could feel like a normal person for a while. She was pretty, young too and obviously enamoured by the sexy older man with a gruff voice that bought her drinks and made her feel special.

Another drink. She asked him to go back to hers and he agreed, following blindly after her as she led him away. He couldn’t remember the walk to the non descript apartment, only coming back to himself when she took his hand in her own, shooting him a wink that he supposed was meant to be sultry but just served to lessen the ache in his cock.

Her slender fingers hooked into the belt loops of his jeans, tugging his thin hips into hers and pulled him into her home. The door slammed shut behind him, blindly following her.

A grunt was knocked from his lungs as she moved him onto her bed, sinking to her knees with hooded eyes. “Lemme take care of you baby.” Her voice was grating on his ears. Dean resisted the urge to flinch when her palms were laid on his muscular thighs.

It was so wrong, a nightmare he couldn’t escape but at the same time, didn’t want to because he wanted to prove something to himself, to validate his anger and his rage at the woman that loved him so much. Dean felt her tug at his belt and was broken from his thoughts.

“Stop. Just stop.” He all but shoved the girl off of him in his haste.

“What the hell!” She chastised, quite obviously offended at having been rejected by this man that until a few seconds ago, seemed very keen to have a night of fun with her. Dean shook his head and with a muttered ‘sorry’ left her kneeling on the bedroom floor.

“You fucking dick!” She called after him, and he couldn’t help but agree.

——————

Jody’s home was pleasant enough to live in. With home cooked meals every single night and a deluge of girl talk with not only the Sheriff but the two teens in her charge. It was a good distraction for a while, getting caught up in the usual antics of the young women that Y/N imagined Sam and Dean were like when they were younger.

But even the best distractions can only last for a little while. And each night, as she settled into the small bed graciously given to her, Y/N just felt alone. She was out of place here, a passing visitor that had overstayed her welcome long ago. No matter how much Jody may have protested the opposite and Claire and Alex insisted that they loved having her there, this wasn’t Y/N’s home.

Her home had always been Dean. His presence had soothed her soul in a way that nothing had ever done before. She lived for nights where they would drink and laugh themselves silly or when he would prepare her coffee just the way she liked it in the morning. She desperately missed how his face would break out into an uneven and frankly goofy smile when she teased Sam.

In a vain attempt to stop her mind from going down a road that she knew would make her spiral, Y/N shoved her headphones in her ears and blasted a random playlist. The soft guitar and crooning voice so similar to Dean’s had her eyes burning with tears. Her chest ached as she thought about the way he sang to her in the car, his hand on the seat beside her plump thigh, not quite touching her but close enough she knew it was there.

Tears rolled down her temples wetting the pillow beneath her head as she let herself mourn the love she had lost. Her sobs were silent, mere hiccups as she forced herself not to make any noise to alert the others. She couldn’t take anymore of their pitying looks.

She hugged herself tightly as her nails dug into her soft forearms, her chest heaving with her cries. Images of the man she considered her soulmate with another woman sent her deeper down the rabbit hole of self-despair. She could only imagine what he had gotten up to in the weeks since she left and it was driving her crazy.

The song faded out, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts for a second too long. The brightness of the screen blinded her for just a moment before she clicked on the last text exchange in her phone.

I love you sweetheart

The low buzz of the outgoing call rumbled against her chest where she placed her phone face down. In the silence between each ring, she was doubting her decision more and more. Why should she reach out first when he was the one that broke them?

“Hello?” His raspy voice came out crackled through her head phones, making her heart jump slightly.

“S-sorry butt dial.” She panicked, quickly hanging up but not before hearing him call out, “Wait! Plea-“ Y/N threw her phone onto the pile of her clothes in the corner of the room, ignoring how it was now ringing again, a photo of her and Dean lighting the screen.

Sleep did not come easily that night even after her cries ceased, her eyes finally fluttering closed as the sun began to peak over the horizon, dousing the room in a soft pink.

——————

It was rare that music didn’t play in the Impala. There was almost always a constant stream of classic rock that spewed from the radio, yet the silence was more overwhelming than the usual loud songs Dean sang along to.

Sam was deeply concerned for his older brother. He knew the break up hit him hard, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, but the younger Winchester didn’t think it was this bad. Dean reeked of the same whiskey he religiously drank after they lost Bobby. His clothes were rumpled and dirty, the Impala, his prized possession looked dull and lifeless, caked with dirt and dead bugs.

Dean hadn’t shaved in the weeks since she left so he now sported a semi-impressive beard which Sam attempted to make fun of just the same as his own facial hair had been but Dean had merely grunted and ignored him. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” He attempted to start a conversation.

“Jody’s.”

“Why?” The one word answers were nothing new, but at least he was talking. Dean’s green eyes flicked briefly over to his brother before returning to the road.

“Hunt.” Sam sighed, slumping back against the leather bench of the car, his focus shifting to the world that was speeding past them. He was sick of this self-pitying attitude that was slowly driving the older man to madness when it could be solved so easily.

“If you pulled your head out of your ass, you could get her back.” The air in the car turned to ice. “Don’t act like I didn’t hear you frantically calling her last night.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He growled, knuckles turning white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. But Sam kept pushing.

“She’s the best thing to have ever happened to you and you just let her leave. Or maybe you just never loved her since you went home with someone only a week ago, that’s why you didn’t put up a fight.”

“Shut up Sam.” Sam, that should have made him worry. He was only called Sam when Dean was pissed and on the edge of an almost toddler-like melt down.

“I’m just saying, if you really wanted to, and I mean really really wanted to, she would forgive you. But you don’t want to make the effort.” The tires screamed as Dean pulled off the road with a flick of his wrists. Sam was jerked sideways with the force but then was sent the other direction as Dean fisted the front of his flannel and shoved him back against the car door.

His eyes were wild with fury and his next words came out in a snarl. “I can’t get her back. Don’t you understand that. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” He pushed, desperate to get his brother to finally come to his senses. “You know she loves you and that she would do anything for you. What made this fight so terrible?”

“Because I can’t touch her!” The silence quickly returned as Sam tried to comprehend what he was just told. “I can’t touch her Sammy.” Dean was on the edge of tears. He released his shirt from his grasp like the fabric had burnt him and buried his head in his hands.

Sam had never witnessed Dean like this before, like his world was crumbling down before him and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it because he had just given up. No matter the circumstances or insurmountable odds that had faced him, he always pushed through with his can-do attitude and unwavering loyalty to those he loved. But now he was being consumed by a hopelessness so many monsters had attempted to instill in him but never could.

He was heartbroken and suffering. He lost the woman who knew his soul and yet still loved him. Sam knew what that despair felt like, to have such a great love ripped away and not giving yourself time to lament on that loss.

“Dean.” He started but was quickly interrupted.

“I couldn’t give her what she deserved. I couldn’t be that loving boyfriend she wanted so badly. I couldn’t even fucking hug her without feeling like I wanted to push her away. And I knew it was hurting her but she was right, I am selfish. I wanted her to myself even if I could see her slowly dying inside.”

The sun was quickly setting over the brothers, the reds and purples giving way to a deep blue. They watched, for a moment, as the stars began to appear and the darkness surrounded them. “I’ve hurt so many people in my life. My hands have been stained red with blood for so long and she was the one person I couldn’t stand to hurt. Yet I hurt her so badly that she ran away from me.”

“But you do want her back don’t you?”

Tearful green eyes looked back at him. “More than anything.”

“Then we need to make a pitstop, I have an idea.”

——————

Y/N couldn’t help but notice Jody’s worried glances towards the front door as they ate dinner. “Alright Mills, that’s the eighth time you’ve looked at the door in five minutes. What’s going on? Do you have a secret lover coming over?” Claire snorted in her drink but quickly recovered as her surrogate mom shot her a glare.

“No, I do not have a secret lover. Thank you very much. I’m just waiting for a package.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at the older woman, still incredibly doubtful.

“It’s almost 10 at night, why would a package be delivered this late?”

“Well, I-“ The doorbell rang, saving her from having to give another lame excuse. “Excuse me a moment, there’s my package.” Y/N narrowed her eyes at the Sheriff, not saying anything else.

Alex sighed, shaking her head, like she was in on some conspiracy that Jody had set up. “Have you got anything to add?” Y/N teased.

“Nope, nothing at all. Isn’t that right Claire?” Said girl, who was sitting to Y/N’s left, just huffed and took another large bite of her food.

Y/N ignored the muffled voices coming from the entryway, assuming that Jody, being her usual friendly self, was making conversation with whoever was at the door. Then, “hey girls, I need your help for a minute.” And without so much as a groan of annoyance, both teens stood and rushed from the room.

Before Y/N could follow after them, she heard the front door slam shut and the obvious sound of a car engine starting up and then driving away. “What the hell?” Just as she stood from the table to investigate, a large figure blocked the doorway.

“Dean?”

“Hi sweetheart.” She melted at the sound of his voice clearly after so long and not through the crackly and broken version she heard through the dozens of voicemails he left her the night before. She itched to run into his strong arms but remained in place, her hand absentmindedly falling to the table, laying her palm flat against the butter knife she had been using. “I hope you’re not planning on using that on me.”

Dean gestured to her hand in a joking manner but only succeeded in making her scowl at him. “You look like shit.” He winced at her tone.

“I deserved that.”

“You deserve a lot worse. What the hell do you want Winchester?” Dean sighed. His body tilted forward, like he wanted to get closer. Running a hand through his hair, which was slightly longer than he normally kept it, his eyes dropped to the ground.

Y/N watched as he deflated, the usually stoic image of the hunter before her crumbling to dust and leaving a man that looked truly broken. “I didn’t mean to call you clingy.” Straight to business, good. She thought.

“But you did. And you did it knowing full well how I feel about that word.” Unconsciously, her voice softened as he nodded along to what she was saying.

“I know and I’m sorry about that. I’m- fuck- I’m sorry about everything.” Y/N didn’t object when he took a tentative step forward and she cursed her body for not recoiling as he drew closer. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away. “I wish I could be the man you want, the one you deserve, but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be.”

“Not really selling your case here Dean.”

“Just- just let me get to my point and then you can cuss me out. I love you and I want to change for you. I want to get better at touching you and I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you home. Besides Sammy’s been pouting a lot without you there and it’s getting really fucking annoying.” Of course the man couldn’t get through a serious discussion without being a dumbass.

Dean stood inches from her now, and Y/N could see how his hands trembled, either from anxiety or the copious amounts of alcohol she smelt from him, she didn’t know. “I don’t want you to change, Dean. I love you for who you are but you really hurt me and-“

“I know.” He cut her off. “I know and I want to make it right, if you’ll let me.” His green eyes shone with tears

“Goddamn you and your stupid puppy dog eyes.” She grumbled. Dean smirked. “Alright! Jesus, we can try again but I expect so much fucking grovelling, like ten times more than I had to do when I accidentally ate the last slice of pecan pie.”

He smiled and nodded, placing his hand on the dining room table mere millimeters from her own. “Anything you want sweetheart.”

“And no sex for the foreseeable future, not even over the clothes stuff.” He winced at that but still, his smile did not waver.

“And, and, fuck I can’t think of anything else with you looking at me like that.” She whined and turned her head so she didn’t have to look into his eyes anymore. Y/N gasped as a finger hooked under her chin, guiding her gaze back to the man she still loved so much. His smile was even softer now, almost dopey with love.

“I’ll do whatever it takes, even if that means never getting to see you in anything less than fully clothed for the rest of my life and giving you all of my pie. I just need you, sweetheart.” His forehead dropped to her own, the tips of their noses brushing together in an act so intimate it made her chest burn with affection.

“Did you sleep with anyone else?” The question hung heavily in the air, pressing down on both of their chests like a massive weight. Dean breathed out harshly through his nose and Y/N froze, already fearing his answer, she began to pull away. But without any hesitation, his right arm wound around her thick waist and tugged her into his chest. Caught off guard, Y/N planted her hands on his chest.

She felt the way his body tensed beneath her palms, still so unused to being touched but he didn’t let her go like he would have before. “The short answer: no.”

“And the long answer?” Her throat felt like it was closing up with the onslaught of tear building behind her eyes.

“A girl brought me back to her place and tried to go down on me but I didn’t even kiss her. I left before she got my belt off.” Unable to stop herself, Y/N chuckled.

“You just left?”

Dean’s cheeks coloured with a rare flush. “Yeah, I walked out the door and she was still on her knees calling me a dick.”

“Well she was right about that.” And they stayed like that for a moment, letting themselves be reminded about how much they loved each other. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, Dean stepped away.

“Wait here, I have something for you.” With a few long strides, he left the room and then quickly reappeared holding a canvas bag with the phrase ‘act like a lady, think like a boss’ printed on the side in big, bold lettering. “Don’t diss the bag sweetheart.”

And before she could snark something back, he pulled a teddy bear from the bag. The bear seemed to be a regular plush at first glance, but when Dean handed it to her, Y/N couldn’t help but smile brightly. The toy easily weighed 5 pounds and suspiciously smelt of Dean’s cologne. “I thought that this could be a substitute for when you want to cuddle. But this is temporary, cause I will get better. He’s just a placeholder.”

“He?”

“Yeah.” He sighed happily. “Little Dean Jr.” Holding the bear tighter to her chest, Y/N stood on her tiptoes and finally planted her lips on his. Her skin burned as the soft kiss quickly turned more passionate and his newly grown beard scraped against her. Fingers curled into his hair, Y/N yanked him even closer as Dean’s hands fell to her generous ass, giving her cheeks a light squeeze.

Reluctantly, she pulled away first, her lungs screaming for oxygen and her brain telling her that if she kissed him any more, she would end up in the back seat of Baby with her legs over his shoulders. “This is a start. But I will not have you talk to me like that again. If you do, I’m gone and you won’t ever see me again.”

“I promise, I’ll do better.” Content with his answer, Y/N pecked his swollen lips.

“The bear was Sam’s idea wasn’t it?”

“But I named him!”

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herotome · 4 months

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Hi there! I’ve been following for a fair while (I was interested in the premise) and have been meaning to play the game for a while as well, but only started the last day of 2023! One heck of a way to start a year though!

I was wondering, how would the ROs feel about/interact with an MC who is touch averse? If MC can’t stand for people to touch them without getting a little sick feeling? How would that affect their relationship? Would that be a thing that would determine if they would or would not enter a romantic relationship with MC?

And maybe as a lil tiny bonus if you’re feeling up to it, how would the ROs feel if MC one day tried linking pinkies with them? If MC told them that their specific touch isn’t that bad and they wanna try slowly building up physical affection?

Sorry, this is kind of a long ask >.< I myself am iffy on touch at best and I know it’s commonly seen as a “necessity” in relationships of all kinds. Herotome is a VN that kinda breaks down modern relationships and I was curious so I wanted to ask, but alao totally understand if you don’t want or are unsure of how to answer this. Have a lovely whatever time it is in your time zone and I can’t wait to see how Herotome progresses!

Dude(gn) you're valid as hell thank you sending this over <3

I do wanna give a quick shoutout to @crescencestudio who - I know through my direct experience of editing for Alaris - is putting a huge array of touch-averse dialogue options in their VN. Do give them a follow if that interests you...!

I also want to express how flattered I am that Herotome kinda breaks down modern relationships - that's definitely been an unstated goal of mine.

Now let's see about your ask...

Warden: Fuck yeah he's down-- gosh what's gotten into me I'm cursing so much today but I'll make an effort not to censor myself <_< But yeah... honestly a touch averse MC would be right up his alley - assuming he is reassured that he has not done anything wrong/offensive with any accidental touches. To some extent, he enjoys the concept of self-restraint(...) and begins both his professional and romantic relationships rather carefully - so not having to worry about whether he's not touching someone too much or too little - and instead focusing on not touching them at all - should be quite refreshing for him tbh? He may want to touch sometimes, particularly after spending a LOT of time together... but being respectful and ensuring his beloved is comfortable is way more important to him.

Griffin: ..... well, Griffin would do her best LOL. They would have to set expectations and really communicate upfront (which you would always be doing with Griffin regardless of touch aversion, lets be real) - what is not on the table, what could be on the table in the future, what MC wants out of a relationship - and if MC is prepared to discuss these topics and - most importantly, if MC is 100% ready for a relationship - in all likelihood a touch averse MC will be able to make things work with Griffin. Just gotta be clear and communicate.

Mia: ngl she can get pretty needy, it might be rough with her...! She'll want to hug when she cries and she can get pretty insecure about herself, so I wouldddn't super recommend a touch averse MC getting into a romantic relationship with Mia... Communication can be rocky with her even when both sides try their best. But gosh she'd treat touch averse MC sooo well in the time they spend together, if MC would allow Mia to cook and pamper!!!

Dart: Eh.... Why not? He's willing to give it a shot, and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. ....... I'm sorry this is all he's giving me ;;;;;

Jade: lmao she's touch averse on and off herself so she'd understand MC best out of everybody with very minimal communication no questions necessary. They'll be perfectly happy reading on opposite sides of the couch or something...

As for linking pinkies and slowly building up physical affection-

lol idek what to say bc that's so stinking adorable and swoonworthy

Warden, Griffin, Dart, and Jade would make sure MC is not pushing themself over their comfort zone just for their sake - they went into a relationship knowing not to expect touch (I assume?!)

Mia would be too busy having the happiest day of her life straight up vibrating and also having a heart attac like

#creatorofstars #ro: everyone #herotome ask #can I promise a full set of touch averse choices in my own game no #are touch averse mcs valid hell yes #both can be true at the same time

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foone · 1 year

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ok please tell us about the tandy-memorex vis :D

OKAY the Tandy Memorex Video Information System is a hilarious console that Tandy/Radio Shack came up with in 1992.

It's called the Tandy-Memorex VIS partially to distance itself from Tandy, but Memorex was owned by Tandy at the time, and this is entirely their fault. Back in 1992, the CD-ROM was the NEW HOT THING and everyone wanted to get in on that. Arguably every console that tried failed to some degree or another, until the Sony Playstation in 1994. But the VIS failed spectacularly hard, selling something like 11,000 units, and Radio Shack was nearly giving them away towards the short lifespan of the console (1992-1994).

It got about 20 games, and another 24 releases that could charitably be called "multimedia products". Things like encyclopedias, photo albums on assorted issues, and spoken-illustrated-book things with minimal animation. Of those 20 games, many of them were edutainment games, things like word puzzles, math games, drawing tools along the lines of kid-pix (on a console with no way to save pictures or print them out, so... yeah).

On top of this, it cost 699$. IN NINETEEN NINETY FUCKING TWO. Plug that into an inflation calculator and it comes out at about one and a half thousand dollars, for a console with barely any games and the ones that it did come with are designed for the little kiddies. This thing never had a market.

But here's the thing that makes it so memorable to me: While the games available for it were not interesting, and it's just another example of a failed CD-ROM console alongside the endless failed or barely-survived ones that littered the early-90s... (Every played a CD-i, 3DO, NeoGeo CD, PC-FX, FX Towns Marty, LaserActive, Commodore CD-TV or Amiga CD32? How about one of the add-ons, the Sega CD, TurboGrafx-CD, or Atari Jaguar CD? Hell, this is what the Nintendo Playstation was supposed to be, before that deal went sideways and it became two separate consoles)

The thing is that technologically the VIS is super unique because it's an idea that wouldn't really be repeated until 2001, nearly a decade later: The VIS is a console that's a computer.

Yeah, I know, all consoles are computers (except maybe arguably some early pong units), but I mean like a desktop PC. The Tandy-Memorex VIS is an IBM PC clone running Windows!

(EDIT: Accidentally submitted too early)

It's a modular windows, a sort of embedded-windows that only runs off a ROM chip, but it's still an Intel 286 with a relatively normal VGA card, a megabyte of RAM, and a 1X CD-ROM drive. This thing could basically play a ton of DOS games, it would just be a matter of some basic porting.

And it just never happened. Instead all the games are custom-designed edutainment/multimedia things, and no one ported Duke Nukem or Commander Keen or Kings Quest to it (Actually Sierra did make a test port of Kings Quest 5, but it never came out. Reportedly it was slow as hell)

It could have been a very interesting console that let us play tons of DOS games in the living room in 1992, but Tandy mismanaged it with the ridiculous price and bad policy regarding games releases which meant it never really amounted to anything.

Anyway I've got one in my room right now, and I'm planning on building a CD-ROM emulator for it so I can easily play around with making homebrew with it. I want to port a bunch of DOS games to it and make it reach its potential, like Tandy should have done in 1992.

They already had a successful line of PC compatibles in the Tandy 1000, and the VIS is partially made of advancements they developed for that weird line of computers. If they had leaned into that angle, sold it at a better price, they could have really built something special. So many advanced DOS games (and even more advanced ones made possible by the CD-ROM format) that would blow away anything else in the console market in 1992 could have been VIS releases. Instead we got some (barely-)FMV games and a bunch of sub-par Math Blaster and Reader Rabbit clones on a console that no one wanted to buy because it was too damn expensive.

#tandy memorex vis #console history

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w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz · 6 months

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Please, I beg of you, give me tdp edit ideas/songs with scenes that can easily be found on YouTube my little sister can't keep making edits of the same five scenepacks with the same three Conan Gray/Olivia Rodrigo songs

HELL YEAH I DO the way i already have a whole ass list for this bc i made a capcut acc a while ago and was gonna start and then left it like an absent father anyway

the 4x03 rayllum angst to you get me so high by the neighborhood

a s3 rayllum smthsmth to talk too much by coin ;);););)

a tragic callum + claudia number to 16 mirrors by alex g (showing how they're both kinda being ruined by aaravos

"you're in the wind, i'm in the water // nobody's son, nobody's daughter" >:) (chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey. you know what to do)

aaravos to limbo by freddie dredd

claudia to r u looking 4 me now by jazmin bean. or favorite toy by jazmin bean. or carnage by jazmin bean. what can i say she's emo

ceilings by lizzie mcalpine (can u tell i like that song). it's all sweet rayllum until "but it's not real" and then it gets emo :)

ik you said minimal conan gray but soren to family line

claudia to bsc by maizie peters

s4 angsting callum to never met by cmten

alternatively: s4 angsting callum to all girls all the same by juice wrld

possessed callum to cradles by sub urban

this is not very helpful in respect to easy-to-find clips but. i am not very helpful

#don't be surprised if i end up making these ok #rayllum #rayla #callum tdp #tdp callum #callum #claudia #claudia tdp #tdp claudia #aaravos #tdp aaravos #tdp #the dragon prince #music #edits #edit recs #and ofc these are for anyone if they want them

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sincerely-sofie · 3 months

Note

One thing I will say is that saying you "disagree with the term queer" Is Not A Great Look, but that could easily be a me not getting the wording as intended thing - The above assumes you mean just, queer in general though it feels more like you might've meant in reference to yourself? (Which is entirely fine - I'm of the opinion that any given label should be opt-in to anyone who's genuine about it rather than mandatory.)

Really, the main important thing I appreciate is being able to accept others where they're at. Being able to just say "Yeah, sure, ok" and go along even if I don't personally understand is honestly one of my core beliefs* too, and with minimal disrespect it's nice seeing this from a Christian. The little I actually know suggests something worth looking into, and the notion of an eternal soul is something I find fairly agreeable (if not strictly the outcomes of that.) Then again, I'm someone whose personal experience with religion can be described as a tangled web of jokes that ran too long and accidentally became character traits, so, maybe not the best judge of anything here. Also, wow, this post got away from me quickly. Originally meant to just put in the first paragraph and call it good.

*I draw a hard line the second that personal belief starts meaning harm to others. Believe what you want about yourself, but anyone saying someone else needs to change their ways (bar the very beliefs this targets, primarily meaning bigotry/racists) because of a thing YOU feel a certain way about simply can't be tolerated.

Thanks for the critique! Looking back, I definitely should have written “disagree with the term queer FOR myself” (which was actually the original wording I drafted) rather than “disagree with the term queer myself”. I was trying to cut down on my wordiness as I edited my response, but I ended up just making it a confusing sentence to read. Curse my proofreading anxiety.

I'll try not to get into it too much here because it'd probably derail this entire response to your ask, but I've got a lot of mixed feelings with most labels, especially ones that were formerly derogatory terms. My church has worked hard to pivot from being called “Mormons” because among other (honestly more important) reasons, the term was basically used as a snide and condescending way to refer to my church, and it quickly became the default phrase for addressing us. The fact that members of my faith were basically referring to themselves with an insult as I grew up in the church never really sat well with me, even if we took pride in it. I'm super impressed by those who can take once-painful words and make them into badges of honor, but for me personally, it's a real emotional minefield. Hence, in part, why I don't agree with using the term queer for myself. It's a matter of preference and personal implications.

Agh, I really rambled on for a while there. I hope that made sense.

For your second paragraph— it's sad to me that so many people have had such disheartening experiences with Christians. I swear, most of us are loving people. There's just an unfortunate amount of very vocal bible-bashers who forget that God's greatest instructions to us were to love Him and love others.

If you're interested, there's a lot of resources on my church’s website if you'd like to learn more about what we believe (though there's no pressure from me to read up on it!) I just felt like I should share because we don't believe in a Hell where people burn for all eternity.

We believe in three different “kingdoms” that everyone will be sorted into, with interaction between them being possible so families and friends can visit each other if they end up divided. The least glorious kingdom (for lack of a better term) is still an absolutely amazing place, full of light and happiness. There is a sort of Hell called Outer Darkness that I guess anyone reading about could see it as a form of eternal punishment, but people choose to go there themselves— it's a form of willing separation from God that happens when people who have an absolutely perfect knowledge of the gospel still choose to go the opposite direction. It's not somewhere you go because you drank coffee or swore in life. That'd be ridiculous.

… I opened my mouth and a missionary came out. Oops.

Anyhoo, that last paragraph is a big deal, Anon! People need to be able to choose for themselves what they'll do in their lives— any forced change is not change at all, and the second you do harm to another person that isn't in the defense of yourself or others, you're in the wrong. As you can probably tell from my tangent above, I'm an advocate for missionary work, which could be seen as telling people they need to change their ways, but the type of missionary work I stand behind is the kind that invites people to learn more— never forces— and respects when they say no. Always honor agency is my motto. Invite, don't incite. That sort of thing.

Thanks again for the critique! I appreciate your willingness to send it in and share your thoughts. I'll add a link to this ask in my original post so that if anyone else is confused by my wording, they'll be able to see this and get some better information.

#I'm running on so little sleep right now #I hope this is even half coherent #Let me know if I wrote anything confusingly! I tried my best but.#My brain is not at optimum performance atm #sofie answers asks

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distinctlackofnightingales · 8 months

Text

i am. so sleepy. minimal capitalism (edit: I meant capitalization btw!!) here all lowercase sorry !!! anyways just dropping in to say that crowley slipping up in s2 and saying “oh, god” reminded me of the one other time i can think of him invoking Her name instead of dancing around mentioning heaven and/or hell in that light and that was in s1 during the bookshop fire when he thought azi was gone and he had just to his knowledge lost his best friend (“for Go- for Sata- for Somebody’s sake”)

and yeah people have probably talked about this but i havent seen any of it that i can remember rn so i am going to say it before i go to sleep bc it breaks my heart that both times he does it it’s bc he has, in some form, just lost aziraphale

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #go 2 #madi ramble session #good omens 2 #crowley

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ronearoundblindly · 2 years

Text

Eighty-Third Time's the Charm (3)

CEO!Steve x assistant!Reader

Balance (see previous or series)

Summary: At Steve's suggestion, you get an assistant of your own...right before a huge event.

Warnings: light angst, some language, miscommunication, possibly poor editing WC 2.3k

Topaz is a very nice lady and all, but what the fuck is she doing at American Capsules?!

Ok, well, Topaz is…not exactly nice. She’s got an attitude that could drown fish in the sea and a resting face that could curdle milk. She is, however, magnificently efficient. After only a week, you’ve grown so fond of her thick Kiwi accent barking at you to go home or go out to drinks that you find your cheeks hurting from smiling.

The thing you don’t understand though: does Steve think you can’t handle this job on your own anymore? You’ve been fine for three whole years without help. Yes, the company has grown consistently in that time, but a point of pride for you has been setting up most departments to run steady and necessary communications through you (and between themselves) to minimize Steve’s time dealing with minor fires instead of the big-picture stuff. This was done on purpose. In theory, you’ve got less impending work to do day-to-day now than you did when you started.

So why, why, is Topaz here?!

You talk poor Pepper’s ear off about it in the dressing room of an extremely fancy designer boutique while trying on potential dresses for an upcoming fundraiser hosted by Stark.

“I don’t think you need to worry about it so much,” Pep offers, smoothing the slinky blue gown over her hips. “Maybe he really is just trying to lessen your burden.”

“Why is Rogers suddenly thinking of my burden? That might have been helpful that spring he decided all transport would be carbon neutral within sixty days before pissing off the Bermuda with Stark—ugh, I’m not sure about this one,” you sigh, pulling the heavy velvet curtain back. “I look like I’m naked.”

Pep’s face lights up. “Buy it,” she says immediately and flatly, “because if you don’t I’m buying it for you.” She straightens her posture and smiles. “It’s on Tony’s account, for my birthday he missed.”

“No, that’s not necessary. It’s just…”

One shade away from your skin tone? Too booby? The most flattering thing you’ve ever seen on your body? Yeah, it is. That’s the magic of this silky cut and draping.

Pepper cocks an eyebrow. “Yes,” she mutters, “you’ll need some jewelry, too.”

It’s one afternoon when you’ve had to put out more fires than usual and Topaz is pressing for an explanation of what’s happening that you snap.

“It will take longer to tell you than to just do it. Please, give me a second.”

Your assistant is insistent though. “Well, how the hell am I supposed to take over for ya if you won’t let me learn,” Topaz complains between phone calls.

Your eyes go wide, and your jaw drops.

Whipping around in your chair, you stomp to Steve’s office without a second thought and throw open the door.

“You’re fucking replacing me,” you scream at the startled man sitting atop the edge of his desk.

He stands at attention so fast that his pant leg gets caught on the corner, and he grabs at the run while you close more distance.

“I work for you twenty-four-seven for like one thousand days, and this is how you repay me? You make me train my own replacement?” You’re so stunned and enraged that your arms go up, indicating every piece of art on the walls, every bit of furniture, all of it which you chose for him. “Steve, I have done EVERYTHING for you except get your dick wet, but god knows, that’s what you have Stark for. You asshole!”

Then you get in his face. “I understand that you think you are some high and mighty, super-savvy business man who can do no wrong because money is the root of all power or some bullshit, but this—“ you poke your finger into the chest of his impeccably tailored suit “—is a shitty thing to do.”

Lowly, after the adrenaline ebbs over the cliff edge, you finish, “I thought you were better than this.”

Steve stands dumb-founded before reaching out a hand, but it’s not towards you.

“I’mma call you back, ma.”

“You do that, dear,” Sarah Rogers chirps with what might be the faintest chuckle before Steve cuts off the line.

His eyes remain fixed on yours while his head turns. “Topaz,” he calls, “could you shut the door, please.”

“What an excellent idea, sir,” the woman drawls, with heavy judgment, before obliging.

Steve blinks for the first time since you barged in and offers you a seat. You staunchly refuse.

He starts with your name—your first name—and suddenly you’re sure this is it; you’re about to be fired from the first job you’ve ever actually loved. Maybe you should sit down, but your legs won’t move.

“So I hate to admit that this…wasn’t my idea, but the plan was to—ok, Tony let slip the other day that he plans to name Ms. Potts his CEO.”

You make a questioning face and scowl. “Good for her. What, so you planned to pimp me out as his assistant, too?”

“Oh my god—“ Steve rushes forward to grasp your shoulders before thinking better of it and dropping his hands to his pockets “—no. NO. No, I just didn’t want to make it seem like I stole his—right, no, I was hoping that once Topaz is trained and can take over for you that you’d be my co-CEO.”

“What the hell.”

It’s not a question because there’s too much blood rushing to your face to comprehend any answer given.

“See, it’s just now occurring to me that this looks bad, and that’s probably why I should always run ideas by you first.” Steve runs his hand through his hair nervously. “So if you think about it, this kinda proves my point, and uh, even though I’m gonna need to explain that to my mother, I feel pretty confident in the plan still.”

What the hell. Your brain can’t process both the flattery and the mortification at the same time, and you collapse into one of the ergonomic leather chairs facing Steve’s desk, mouth agape for who knows how long before finally responding.

“I see.”

Yeah, that’s all you’ve got.

“Right, well—“ he takes up residence in the other chair and leans forward as close as he can “—I know that the workload for your current position means you don’t get to see your family very often, and I’ll understand if you’d just like to stay at this level with Topaz to help out. That’s fine. That’ll work, too, but you step in and help with my actually job so much that the title might not be much of a difference in what you already do…

“You still with me over there?”

“What? Yes.” You’d zoned out looking through the windows in disbelief. “I…I’ll need to think about it.”

“Of course,” Steve says, standing and fixing his jacket. “I—I didn’t mean to upset you. I thought—“

“Thank you, sir,” you breathe, making a b-line for the door as quickly as possible, unable to meet his eye. “I’m going to step away for lunch for a minute, but—“ get out, get out, get out “—Topaz will—“ get out right now “—be here.”

You just barely glance back as you slide back over the threshold. Steve stands with the smallest, fondest smile on his face.

Get the fuck out right now. Go, go, go.

“Sir,” you nod one last time and watch his smile grow. You smile, too, but only on the other side of the door.

You still haven’t decided what to do by the time Topaz is ready for a test run. At Steve’s suggestion, you take a few days off to visit your parents, and if anything is truly needed, Topaz can get in touch.

“A dry run, if you will,” Steve said, “plus I know where to find you in case of real emergency.”

It’s dumb that you thought about him showing up on your parents’ doorstep your whole plane ride there, right? It’s awful that you eagerly anticipated texts from either of them, isn’t it? It’s sad that you pictured drunk-Steve, curled up like he was on your hotel bed, more than once in your childhood home, maybe?

Yes, but that doesn’t stop you. In fact, you don’t receive a single text, email, or voicemail from your boss the entire trip except one message after you land in New York again.

S. Rogers: see you at the gala. Topaz and I did great!

So your triumphant return (and Topaz’s magnificent success) culminates in Stark’s fundraiser. Pepper shares her town car to the venue with you. She’s just come from having a stylist do her hair and makeup, a special treat for herself, and she did offer to have you join. You weren’t prepared for all the fuss. It made things feel too important when you are essentially a wallflower for an event with actual celebrities and rich people—very rich people.

Exiting your apartment, you felt nice, but when you see all the perfectly coifed patrons on the actual red carpet, you deflate.

“Mind if I go around the back, Pep?”

She’d disappointed, of course, but she would never want to make you more uncomfortable. Before you wisk yourself away with your silky train behind you, she is sure to mention that your dress really is gorgeous and you wear it like a champ.

“Just know you’re a natural,” she whispers, grasping your hand gently over your bejeweled clutch.

She’s so genuine it makes you blush. See, now, she will make a great CEO.

“Meet you inside,” you wink.

A lot of the banquet and catering staff for these events work with both Stark Industries and American Capsule regularly, so you walk by many familiar faces and receive a gentle chorus of hellos to “Señorita Cappy.” You smile shyly and feel just as on-display as you would with the press outside. You can’t remember the last time you showed this much skin.

The service elevator is packed with waiters, but everyone smiles at each other. There’s a moment of camaraderie, a fortifying breath before every single person including you has to put on a performance.

The staff motion for you to exit first, but you blame your dress and say you’ll wait till last. They don’t argue—bless them—because you need the few extra seconds to be ready.

You missed work the last few days. You missed the rush and the routine and the challenge and the chaos. You missed…

Nope. Just take a deep breath. Step out. Drop the train of fabric and walk.

You think back to how you looked in the mirror at the boutique when you first tried this on, conjuring up that confidence without a reflection around you. Doesn’t hold all that well, so you pop into the ladies’ room to pat some cold water on your flushed chest. Then you can see. Then you can smile. Your hair and makeup look just how you wanted, and if you’d gone to a professional, it may have looked too overdone for the simplicity of the rest. Delicate, single-strand gold earrings frame a bare neckline, and since you don’t have rings to wear, Pepper suggested a thin, golden charm bracelet.

Maybe you should have chosen differently. Sometimes, when you turn your head too far to the side, an earring tickles across your collarbone, reminding you that there’s just these three millimeter straps holding the whole getup.

Too late now. Don’t sweat. Ugh.

You slurp some cool water from your cupped palm and blot your lipstick once more.

Go time, damn it. You think of your dad cheering his favorite sports team, hearing his ‘go get ‘em, tiger’ loudly in your mind. That makes you excited. You’ve got this.

You plaster on a soft smile to walk by the main elevators where a thin sea of guests pool. You get a few glances and nods. You’ve been in meetings with about a quarter of the men here, and they seem to notice that.

Your neck tenses absently as you round the corner into the solid wood ballroom, and there’s no buffer. Steve Rogers is just right in front of you. He’s all you can see. Even with the nearly fifty feet between you two, you’re sure there wasn’t a second that his eyes weren’t already on you.

He stands shoulder to shoulder with Tony by the bar, lips parted but unmoving as Stark rambles and sips his scotch.

You can’t even see the blue of his eyes. You’re pinned in place.

He mouths—well, he probably says it but you can’t hear—an ‘excuse me’ to Tony and makes his way towards you, a pristine velvet tux jacket stretched across his frame like a sin.

You grin at his approach. You couldn’t stop if you tried, but it catches across his face, too.

When he’s close, Steve swings his arm out.

“You look—“

Oh god, this must be the most inappropriately scandalous dress. You shouldn’t have listened to Pepper. She can pull this off. You’ve never tried. Why would you pick today to test it out?

“—spectacular,” Steve finishes, dragging his gaze all the way to the floor before closing the last few feet between you. His hand snakes a few gentle inches across your barely covered waist to draw himself near. He kisses your cheek. “Just marvelous, doll.” He pulls back and with less than an ounce of pressure against his fingers, he holds you in suspense.

“Welcome home.”

Well f*** me, gang. This is gonna be a lot longer than three parts, and I've decided as a series, it will be called "It Had to Be You." Damn if I'm not loving the shit outta these two though.

[Next Part] Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi

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