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stcverogers · 11 months

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TOP GUN FIC RECS 7!

top gun fics that i’ve been reading and obsessing with over recently

this is extremely important and i take this very seriously out of respect for the community. please do remember to read the rules for the respective blogs before interacting with or reading them.

F: fluff A: angst S: smut

𖥻 - series /multi part

masterlist

JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN

F: it's all about you by @bussyslayer333 the four times jake knew that his girl was the one he was going to marry, and the one time he made her his wife.

F: next thing you know by @disturbedbeautywrites you and jake met at the hard deck. in the blink of an eye, you're happily married with children you adore.

F: one man's loss is another man's gain by @sebastianstangirl01 jake would never thank rooster for anything other than leading his wife to him.

F: dad's shirt by @stargazing15 you and your daughter get jake a shirt for father's day, though she's more excited to wear it than him.

F + A: oh deer by @wkndwlff jake loved you, that he was sure of. out of fear of ruining your friendship, he kept that a secret. when you're in a car accident and jake almost losing you, he had to let you know.

F: i think there's been a glitch by @folkloreslovechild jake can't help who he is when he's around you.

F + A: 5 times hangman got older + 1 time he got wiser, too by @folkloreslovechild jake had always loved you, he just never realised it.

F: jake and his sweet wife by @fireinmoonshot

F + A: always a bridesmaid by @sugarcoated-lame when the dagger squad arrived at rooster's wedding, he had given them a stern warning to stay away from his baby sister. of course, jake is never one to listen to what bradley bradshaw has to say.

F: and i know when i need it i can count on you by @carnationworld-writings jake will do anything to help alleviate some of his pregnant wife's pain

F + A: you again by @ereardon you and jake were once in love, till he decided that you needed to break up. years have passed and you've both achieved your aspirations. will this then make room for both of you to rekindle that lost flame?

F: apple pie and you and i by @honeyhenry jake realises how fortunate he is when he's surrounded by the people he loves most, his family.

F: reunions by @gigisimsonmars you and jake haven't been together long and a pregnancy scare creates uncertainty about your relationship.

F + A: beach day by @harvestleaves jake's main concern will always be his girl, even if it meant skipping out on showing rooster up at dogfight football.

S + A: stay by @sere-sins jake never spent the night, but you needed him. so he'll stay, even if it's just for today.

A: pink light by @sushiwriterhere jake seresin, in all his blonde haired glory, had you wrapped around his finger. you loved him like the earth loved the moon. he didn't.

A: past the texas line by @allbark-no-bite jake will do anything for you, there is no line he wouldn't cross.

F: let me walk you home by @fireinmoonshot jake thought that tonight was finally the night that he would make a move on you. much to his dismay, you were preoccupied the whole night. he settles on walking you home.

F + A: the worst best man by @youvebeenlivingfictional jake seresin was already an insufferable man. pit him as best man while you've the maid of honour for a wedding, you were sure to be on the verge of pulling your hair out.

F + A: hung the galaxy by @creativeashproductions the last time you stepped foot in the city of angels, you had become a runaway bride. this time, you’re happily together with a fiancé you love dearly.

F + A: would that i by @uselsshuman jake, the ever loving partner, will always be there to clean up your accidents, no matter how big or small.

F + A: the olive theory by @eternalsams on every person’s 24th birthday, they will receive an envelope detailing who their soulmate is. you’re disheartened when the contents of the letter doesn’t describe jake.

BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW

F + A: i don’t know, blame the air force? by @gretagerwigsmuse you are hopeful in getting your end of year bonus, only to find out a big chunk of it was going to the defence budget. it didn't help that you were dating a military man.

F + A: days like this by @sometimesanalice when you've had a terrible day, bradley is there to cheer you up

F: a little bit of courage by @callsignmeiga you and bradley have reached the point in your relationship where he's ready for you to meet his found family.

F: all of the girls you loved before by @wannabeschyulersister all of the girls rooster's loved before made him the one you've fallen for.

F + A: do you want me? by @ash5monster01 rooster assures you that he wants you as much as you want him.

F: sweet encounters + sweet tooth by @junkdrawerfics rooster's first time meeting you was with payback drunkenly stumbling into your bakery, screaming for your croissants.

F + A: bad idea by @sometimesanalice rooster sees the girl that had dumped him at the hard deck, flirting with someone who definitely did not deserve her.

F + A: just roommates by @risriswrites you and rooster were just roommates, till you weren't.

F + A: rescue me by @beccaanne814 bradley is left haunted by the events of the uranium mission and seeks comfort in the one person who can give it to him.

F + A: ruffling feathers by @helloheyhihowdyheya yours and rooster's feud didn't just exist in the air.

F + S: baby come close by @bradshawsweetheart you trust bradley with all your heart, deciding that you are ready to take your relationship to another level.

F + A: pick your battles 𖥻 by @intoanotherworld23 your relationship with bradley ended on a bad note, cruel words were spat and feelings were hurt. you're both called back to topgun for a suicide mission and tensions arise.

F: baby on my left, wife on my right by @popcornlover wanting to be carried from the car into the house, you and your daughter pretend to be asleep

F: stuck on you by @teowritesthings bradley gives you the sweetest morning surprise.

BOB 'ROBERT' FLOYD

F + A: my girl by @rlphunter phoenix sets you up on a date, not knowing that you are secretly dating her backseater.

F: fix it by @lovingperfectionsblog bob was not good with women. he also should have known better than to seek advice from womaniser, jake seresin.

F: you gift bob flowers by @peachystenbrough

F: wicked game by @icegirl03 you and bob slow dance in the living room

F: baby, i'm yours by @superhornetbaby bob dials up the endearment when he's drunk

MICKEY 'FANBOY' GARCIA

F: 512 by @bonitanightmxres you've always thought that the guy living in apartment 512 was cute. you finally gather the courage to ask him out.

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lynmars79 · 17 days

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About Imelda Goldfinch

Looking back over episodes, transcripts, and the wiki as a friend experiences Midst for the first time, I keep coming back to Imelda.

She "mistook" Weepe for the Mayor of Stationary Hill when they bumped into one another (literally) in S1 E5 "Missions". She spends the rest of S1 pester-courting Weepe into the Trust, starts him at Zero, and then grants him enough Valor to become Upper Trust for the Cabaret betrayal. She makes sure he gets off Midst in the Consector's flagship.

In S2 she continues her Weepe project, showing him around the city, introducing him to people, accompanying him to Upper Trust meetings. And then the Arca, S2 E13 "Inside." Where she uses her zealousness to torment Weepe until he (outwardly) acquiesces to her.

She knew about his condition, and his medical treatment. In detail. Cameras aren't that advanced in this cosmos, and Weepe keeps that knowledge quite secret; Saskia knew after four years as Weepe's business partner, and being noted as perceptive. When and how did Imelda find out, enough to gauge a normal day's risk (if not enough to know what happens when Weepe gets excited/stressed)?

In S3 she is front and center at the naming of Weepe as Tripotentiary. She automatically becomes his Archauditor, a minimal show made of having to create the position and choice to fill it over brunch. She attends high end meetings like the dinner with Kozma, where Imelda makes interesting notes on her menu (per the appendices) about what Weepe does and doesn't like, among her other notes and reactions.

Then we get to S3 E9 "Baron."

And I have to wonder: Did Imelda "mistake" Weepe in S1 when they met? Was she there not just because of the Breach investigation and/or Moon sale, but for him? Does she know, or at least suspect, who Weepe was before his first Fold-induced transformation and the salvation from the Mothers?

Imelda is a character that fascinates me, and is a bit frightening when thinking about her. She gives some of the same vibes as HP's Dolores Umbridge, but with the caveat that Imelda seems to be a True Believer in the Trust--while also being extremely driven and ambitious. We saw in her Notary prep school yearbook that she had Caenum as a girl (with the note "most likely to Break Even"). When we meet her, middle-aged, she's wearing a wide sash of Valor and regularly rubs shoulders with the Upper Trust.

It took Fuze Peabody his entire working life to Break Even by retirement (and given Lark's past, they start working rather young in the Trust; no child labor laws in the Highest Light I suppose, for those in debt). Most Trustees never reach Zero; it's why so many Breach.

And so much of Imelda's recent Valorous momentum has been due to her maneuvering of Weepe. Of the things she has done with, for, and to him.

Did she gun for Jonas Spahr being removed as Prime Consector? Was it convenient, or targeted? Disdain for the Company or just a way to maneuver Weepe into power? And why? Did she see the incompetence at the top and think it could be better? One of her menu notes is re-starting Valor checks for Upper Trust and other important meetings. Did the Fleit scandal make her think change was needed? Does she think Weepe can get her what she wants when the rest of the Upper Trust cannot?

What does she know? Why is she doing all this? Personal power? Grandiose zealotry? Revenge? A little of everything? Is Imelda the real mastermind and arch villain?

I dunno, and that last may be a bit silly (??) but something is going on with this woman, and she stands somewhere near the heart of this tangled web.

"He's totally fucked" the Narrators say of Weepe when he bumps into Imelda that first time. That's certainly been true in many ways--and I don't think it impossible that it will continue to be, with Weepe maybe not expecting the damage this scarily cheerful little lady with Pollyanna curls can still do to him before the end.

For the good of the Trust.

#Midst #Podcast #Midst Podcast #Midst Spoilers #Imelda Goldfinch #Moc Weepe #character analysis #Scheduling this for S3 E9's release as I'm ahead #And a LOT of things are coming back around to the very early episodes in these latest ones

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albert-tsum · 1 month

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I just decided to ramble a bit about my sexuality hcs, ships etc about Wesker.

(I never thought I'd make so many text posts)

These are not going to be extremely precise analyses and will be influenced by my personal wishes and hopes. If I've written something that goes absolutely against the canon feel free to inform me.

It may become a bit uncomfortable since I wanna address some serious topics.

And it'll be too long again.

-------------------------------------------

1. General headcanons

Personally I see him on the aroace spectrum and/or as pansexual. He's not easily romantically or sexually interested in someone. I'd even say it happens almost never. He may be able to sleep with people he isn't into (maybe to manipulate them) but rarely does so (I also don't think he slept with Excella like some do, she clearly wanted it but he was able to manipulate her without sex). To be into someone this person needs something that intrigues or excites Wesker e.g. their intelligence, willpower, physical combat skills etc. But I don't think he would care much about the gender of his partner. He probably has more experience with women (e.g. he says in the OG RE1 that "he's not used to escort men") but is also open for men. As far I am aware his VAs Richard Waugh (a) and DC Douglas (b) said that he's not gender specific (a) and probably wouldn't limit himself (b) to one gender.

Either way I see him as queer.

2. My ships

As you see in my reblogs I ship him and William Birkin. He was Weskers only real friend whom he admired and trusted. That's a really big thing for Wesker so I like the hc that there was more than friendship between them and I would love to see them interacting more and learn more about their shared past.

The only other ship I like with Wesker is himxChris Redfield even tho it's kinda problematic. I like the STARS version of them where Chris looked up to Wesker who was fond and proud of him (but probably doesn't want to have feelings like this since he knows he will betray them at one point). I also kinda like the hc that Wesker maybe wanted Chris (and perhaps Jill) to join him if they hadn't make fun of his tyrant. Since I kinda like enemies to lovers and complex relationships like that I also enjoy post RE1 Chrisker. I'd love if it's not sheer hate between them but more like a mix of disappointed expectations, obsession and that they need eachother and the secret wish to have eachother on their side.

I am not the biggest fan of huge age gaps so Chris and Wesker having a difference of 15 years is something I am not too happy about. So early 20s is the lowest age I'd accept (like Jake's mother was).

3. My hopes and wishes

As I said I don't like huge age gaps so I dislike the ships WeskerxRebecca and WeskerxClaire. Rebecca was 18 und Claire 19 when they met Wesker and they are way too young for him. Because of that I really hope that Wesker isn't attracted to Rebecca. That would be a no-go even tho it's fictional and it'd destroy Wesker as a character for me. So I really hope Capcom won't make him someone who absolutely does not care about age to the extent where it's becoming creepy.

(that isn't meant to offend those who like these ships, it's just my personal opinion)

CW: r@pe

I also came across people claiming that he may be a r@pist (for e.g. controlling Jill in RE5). That's another case of yeah he is absolutely evil but that does not mean that he has every evil trait or crime committed. I am pretty sure he didn't do anything sexual to Jill (who had the control device on their chest not because Wesker is a pervert but because the devs wanted more fanservice). I don't think Capcom would make a important character like Wesker (who you can also play as) a r@pist (unlike Irons who was a really hateable side character who was hated even by Wesker)

Thx for reading 😅

#albert wesker #chris redfield #chrisker #resident evil #resident evil wesker #william birkin #willsker #rebecca chambers #claire redfield

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kairos-polaris · 4 months

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Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "yaoshifollower"?

my name is a game reference! i picked it in April-May last year when i just started playing hsr and we got introduced to the aeon/god of abundance Yaoshi, i really liked their design and the idea that even good blessings can be harmful if taken to extreme. which is why i am their follower!

now, for my top ten fics, i am going to limit myself to jjk only but i can do a general list too if anyone is interested

(not ranking them because it's something i always struggle with ranking anything)

1. every jjk fic by voxofthevoid @voxofthevoid, because they'd take up the entire list otherwise. i can't chose one favourite tho the way it follows you home, the stories i never told and isolation neophyte, too afraid to taste your conscience are close contenders for the first place

i adore the way he writes Gojo, that arrogant selfish bastard, and Yuuji, my precious baby can do no wrong 🥰, their interactions with each other and people around them (gege could never). and the smut is always top tier, i am still not over one particular line and i don't think i ever will be

2. still water by movequickly. it's ita/fushi, a canon divergent au from 212 chapter of manga and i just really love Megumi's characterization, the introspection on his relationship with others, something we lack in manga, and Sukuna specifically. also there is minor suku/ita and i am obsessed with the fucked up flavour of it!! like yes yes, this is exactly the way i want them

3. putredine by EvilPeaches. hints of ita/fushi, but mostly suku/ita. also another perfect depiction of the fucked up relationship Sukuna and Yuuji have. Yuuji wins but loses so much in the process you are left to wonder if the victory was worth it. in the end skita merge becoming one person (very fucked)

warning: check tags for both fics, especially the third one (people were talking in the comments about how dark it was but i just got horny 😔)

4. i'll be anything you ask of me by Anonymous. mostly hiita, with some goyuu. short and sweet, Yuuji-centric and encourages him to ask for what he wants, which is something i always approve of. comfort fic for me

5. this side of paradise by omontz. goyuu 236 au, Satoru's death starts a time loop with Yuuji forced to live through each in Satoru's pov. i rarely see time loop fics not from the pov of the person experiencing it and this fic does it perfectly. each loop is perfect and it made me cry, oh poor Yuuji he suffered for so long

6. "But to you it's just words" by WriterOfTheMaximum (@the-hurdy-gurdy-man , hope i didn't mistag lmao), a historical goyuu au where they walk a lot . Gojo characterization is very important to me and he is so perfectly imperfect here, just the way he is in the manga. Yuuji is a precious boy ofc, love this fic very much and i am going to reread it soon

7. Convergence by NoGravity, a canon divergent goyuu au in which Yuuji with the prison realm end up in the past (pre hidden inventory arc). Yuuji tries to unseal Satoru and get back to the future while also getting closer with teen Satoru. teen Satoru's jealousy of his older self was super cute. and while the results of their actions in the past didn't fix their future, it created an alternate universe. in the end both goyuu of the og universe and the alternate one are happy together

8. Lipstick by Lumieerie. one of my fave goyuuge fics, just very lovely and super delicious smut, i read it multiple times

9. Misplaced calls by J_c_nth. a loor at Gojo's time in the prison realm during which he receives calls from Yuuji from a different universe. some just met their Satoru z some haven't, some know him well and some really well. those calls make him confront his own feelings for Yuuji and realise how much he loves him

10. Touch me, touch you by rizna. senpai/kohai au goyuu being stupid and stupidly in love and making other people suffer for it

#my asks #long post

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lokisprettygirl · 1 year

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Lose me to Love you (Loki x Female Reader) (AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 22 here / Series Masterlist

Chapter 23

Summary: Loki isn't the only one fighting with his inner demons. People from your past continues to turn up.

Trigger Warning: 18+, Description of rape and assault, panic attack, violence against women, Extreme dark themes, Sexual abuse, physical abuse, public sex, Rough violent sex, 18+, Steamy stuff, age difference ,Rough language, mention of suicide, talk of virginity and slut shaming, manipulative behaviour, mention of trauma, smut, toxic relationship between main characters. Dark themes, cult stuff

His palms felt clammy, he had been standing outside the orphanage for half an hour and you were taking your own sweet time coming out, as he noticed a girl approaching him he was slightly surprised. For some reason he kept picturing the eleven year old sweet girl that he knew instead of this fully matured grown woman that he probably would have fucked if he met her at the club. Just 18, he had to remind himself that you were barely an adult.

"Hiiii" you smiled at him and he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Y/n"

"Lokii..how are you?" You were the reason he was even alive today, for a moment the feeling overwhelmed him so he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him to hug you.

"Thank you darling, thank you..I'll take care of you I promise" the gratitude slipped past his lips and as he felt your arms around his waist his nerves went calm for a moment.

"So it was your birthday a few days ago, want to do something?" You looked at him as he said that.

"Not really..Where are we going?"

"Ummm my place" you hummed as he answered.

He drove you to his house and you looked around as you both entered the studio apartment he was renting in Brooklyn. It wasn't enough for you two but that's all he was able to do at the time, the divorce settlement has ruined him even further.

"It's cozy, I like it" you placed your backpack down on the couch and smiled again.

"Well you can take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch, food is in the fridge, here's the..umm some money..you can go grocery shopping or get whatever you need..the girl stuff and all" he passed you a few dollar bills so you took it from him, everything was awkward with you two and he felt it in his bones.

"What do you do for work?" You asked him and he sighed

"A small gig at a club"

"What type of gig, are you a bartender?" He combed his hair with his fingers as he tried to avoid your constant gaze.

"A bouncer..you ask too many questions" The job always paid okay, that's also how he met Jolene as well, she frequented the club he worked at and she finally asked him out one fine day. When they got married she got him a position at her accounting firm but he was fired while he was resting after the wrist slitting incident. Now he wished that he never ever met her at all.

"That's hot..i like bouncers..they're soo strong and so manly" his brows furrowed as you said that, how the hell you had even been in a nightclub? He wasn't sure if he wanted to know that.

"Well I have to go meet someone..when I come back we can discuss your uhhhh future plans…if you want to get into college or–"

"No discussion required..I want to become an actor..we should probably move to LA" you mumbled nonchalantly before you proceeded to raid the fridge that was mostly empty.

"Excuse me?" He looked at you all perplexed, getting you into acting business didn't seem feasible to him.

"LA? Los angeles?"

"I know where LA is ..are you serious about this acting thing?"

"As serious as Joker was before his dad carved his face" he looked at you all confused again as you quipped "Really??never?? Oh my god we are definitely going to watch the dark knight once you come back.. Don't worry we don't need to watch the first part.. honestly 60 percent of people skipped the first part and went straight to TDK and somehow it makes perfect sense ..it's like you're not even missing anything important or worth knowing…you know…"

Your voice faded in the background as you continued to speak gibberish to him. However your sweet voice also filled his empty sad apartment and he liked that. Alot. That was the moment he knew that life wouldn't be the same from then, he knew he'd have to make several adjustments and since he had taken the responsibility of taking care of you, your dreams and aspirations became his as well.

His eyes opened to your shaking form and he absolutely abhorred that, every time you had a nightmare he felt afraid that you'd slip past his fingers like that one horrible time. It had happened a few days prior to your mother's anniversary during the second year of living together. He never talks about it because you don't seem to have any recollection of those two days, at first he wasn't sure how to deal with you, how to bring you back but on the third night you went to sleep and came back absolutely normal. You had a bad dream last night too but it was about Thor and he just knew this one was different from that. He knew you'd probably not remember this one because it involved your mother.

"Hey sweetheart" he turned the lamp on to see you properly. His heart rendered as he noticed the tears running down the corner of your eyes,

"Loloooo …mommmyy .. I want mommmy" you sniffled, your voice reminded him of that little girl he had left at the orphanage.

"I know baby..it's okay.. open your eyes..I'm here..im here" he shook your body a little and you woke up gasping for air,

"Lolooo mommyyy ..I need mommmy"

"Shhhhhh baby.. everything is okay..you're safe" he mumbled softly as he wiped your tears, his lips lingered over your forehead before he wrapped his arm around your waist and made you sit up so he could embrace you, you felt safe that way.

He leaned against the headboard while you clutched onto him and cried your heart out.

"I'm here baby, my sweet girl, come back to me, I'm right here, you have me i promise" he mumbled mindlessly

"Don't send me away ..they sent me away every time I had a nightmare..they sent me to that place I hated" you sniffled between your words and his eyes welled up.

"You have me okay? I got you baby, I got you i promise" you hugged him as tightly as you could and your foggy grief stricken mind lulled you to sleep but he couldn't sleep that night, next morning as usual you didn't remember the outburst like always, a few years ago he had asked Steve about that place you kept talking about after such nightmares and Steve told him that it was a psychiatric hospital where they sent you whenever you relapsed or whenever you showed the signs of dissociative Amnesia.

"What are you making?" You hugged him from behind so he smiled.

"Guess" you opened the lid of the pot and all the excitement disappeared

"Porridge" your face scrunched in disgust and it made him smile.

"Well you wanted to eat healthy remember"

"Just take me to the gym again, it's been months" you groaned as you moved around the kitchen to make tea

"I will.. as soon as he's caught" You hummed as he said that "Are you feeling okay sweetheart?" He asked you softly and you shrugged

"Yeahh why?" He sighed as you said that. He wanted to ignore it like he had done before but after last night and the way you were trying to help him cope with his trauma, it had made him reflect upon your own situation, you didn't get away unscathed from his father's abuse, sure he wasn't able to harm you irrevocably but the damage was already done when he had hurt your mother.

"Because of the nightmare? Do you remember what you saw?" He asked you and you stopped doing whatever you were doing.

"Nooo.. i .. I didn't have a nightmare last night..it was the night before remember?" You walked over to him to kiss him on the cheek and he hummed in response. He can't just dump it on you, that would only make the matters worse, he had to find a way to talk to you about this.

"Take me shopping today daddy, it's my birthday in a few days"

He picked you up and sat you down on the counter as you said that. Your birthday. He promised to fuck you senselessly on your birthday but the approaching date had him feeling someway, he couldn't decide if it was a good feeling or not, a part of him wanted to ravish you and enjoy every second of it. The other part though? that bastard wanted to keep himself away from your precious body as far as possible, he didn't deserve to fuck a girl like you, he was one of the reasons why girls like you lost their lives, he was the reason why their dreams got broken so how come he got so blessed as to have someone as pure as you saving herself for him.

"What else would you like to do? A party perhaps?" You thought about it as he said that.

"Or we could just spend it together..just the two of us" you answered him while your fingers played with his chest hairs so he kissed you.

"Aren't you bored of seeing my face all the time?" He chuckled after speaking.

"Ask that girl who spent 7 years without seeing this angelic face. She'd always say no" his eyes softened as you said that.

"For this to happen it had to be that way"

"For what to happen?" You asked him confused so he cupped your cheeks.

"For this to happen.." he kissed you passionately, it wasn't a touch and go type of kiss either, his tongue slid into your mouth so you sucked on it, he tasted like peppermint. Delicious "It had to be that way" you inhaled sharply as he finally decided to allow you to breathe.

"Does it bother you that I was into you way before you were into me?" You asked him

"You were just a child sweetheart, you didn't even know what you felt"

"Well I knew I wanted to kiss you, I was ten when I knew that I wanted to kiss you and –"

"Shut Up.. that's inappropriate as hell" He pressed his thumb onto your lips but his digit couldn't really stop you from smiling or talking even

"It's just the truth, and to this date you are still the prettiest boy i have ever seen in my life"

"Well i'm no boy now my darling" he wrapped your legs around his waist to pull you closer to him and his mouth travelled down from your lips, you moaned as he sucked the soft skin of your neck.

"Some parts of you is still the boy i met"

"Uhhhuh like what?" He chuckled condescendingly so you held his cheeks and kissed him lovingly, as lovingly as you could.

"Like these eyes, still as gentle as I remember, mommy always told me that you could judge a person fairly well by the look in their eyes, you have the kindest eyes lolo" his eyes teared up as you said that. He thought you'd give him a break after last night but you were hell bent on coddling him like a baby.

"Well your mommy wasn't really the best judge of character"

"Take it back" your voice broke because the meanie in him came out again so he kissed you again.

"I'm sorry baby" he murmured against your mouth and you almost melted into a puddle because of how tender he seemed at the moment "You're forgiven" He smiled as you whispered. He wondered how badly he'd have to hurt you to make him unforgivable in your eyes because no matter what he did or said you always forgave him and that too pretty easily.

"What else?" He asked you and it confused you for a moment before it finally dawned upon you. He wanted to know more about those boyish parts of him.

"The smile, still the same, everytime I felt scared at the orphanage I would just think about you and your smiling face, that calmed me down immediately" he kissed you again instead of responding with words "And your voice hasn't changed in the slightest either"

"You are such a sentimental little girl"

"Is that bad?"

"Not at all, I just don't want to disappoint you with my stoicism" a smile graced your features at the blatant lie.

"You're pretty sentimental yourself mister "

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are"

"Shhhhhh"

After force feeding you that unsavory porridge he took you shopping like you had asked him to, you also had to be at an audition tomorrow, you needed to find work or you knew he'd try and find other works, like that thing he used to do at the club, you hated not having him at home all night.

You picked a dress but you didn't want him to see it just yet. You both spent the whole day out, it was a peaceful day but it didn't stay that way. Ofcourse it didn't. It came crashing down on you.

Your soul almost evaporated as someone ran in front of the car, you both watched a woman lying unconscious in the middle of the deserted road and you wondered if she was alive.

"Is she…oh gooddd" you mumbled under your breath so he looked at you

"Stay in here okay?" He asked you so you nodded. She had long blonde hair so it wasn't Jolene, you hated that it was your first thought. Your worries didn't cease there because as Loki rolled her over, it was someone you knew, someone you both knew very well. He picked her up hurriedly before you two could get caught by a passerby or something. After laying her down on the backseat, he quickly got in and drove towards the apartment as fast as he could.

"Ummm is that uhh--"

"Yeah and I don't trust the bitch so we are going to take her home and you're going to help me tie her up as securely as we can okay?" You looked at him all perplexed and he glared at you so you nodded.

The cops on the patrol tonight asked him about her so he lied that she was a friend that had gotten drunk out of her mind. As soon as you all reached the apartment you helped him tie her up onto a chair.

"Lokiii what are we doing..is she even alive?" you asked him nervously so he walked towards you and grabbed you by the shoulders.

"She's alive and breathing, it makes no fucking sense that she'd end up right in front of our car of all people"

"We should tell Steve "

"No not after Thor's situation, I'm already on his radar"

"But what if this brings us more trouble?" he wiped the sweat beads from his forehead as you said that. Ever since his bastard father has escaped your lives has turned into a rollercoaster that just doesn't seem to stop rolling.

You both waited for her to come back to consciousness and when she did she started to struggle against the binds almost immediately.

"Why the fuck are you here?" He asked her as he pulled up a chair right in front of her, you dragged another chair from the kitchen table, it almost looked comical as you tried to be as quiet as you could but the situation wasn't funny at all.

"Lokiii? Y/n?"

Well no memory loss it seems.

"Why the fuck You have me tied up Loki? I know you enjoyed that one time I had--" your eyes widened as she said that. He fucked her all tied up? Again you hated how your mind couldn't move past the jealousy

"Shut up.. shut the fuck up okay? Why are you here..answer me" he glared at her and she looked at you, she then gave you the sickly sweet smile that you remembered really well.

"Oh look at you now, turned yourself into Loki's pretty little girl huh?? Dreams do come true i guess"

"Sister Natasha–" Loki glared at you so you corrected yourself

"Natasha..what are you doing?"

"I don't understand, do you guys like own LA now that I can't be here?" She chuckled and Loki's teeth gritted in anger, he was so close to doing something awful

"Are you here to do his bidding again? He sent you.. didn't he?" she started laughing as he said that.

"You are still so naive loki. You know if he wanted to be here and eat her heart he'd be here, he won't need me" He stood up and all of a sudden there was a smacking sound that you heard, you looked at him shocked as he slapped her. Her lower lip split open at the force he used, your eyes teared up because you weren't expecting him to just go off like that, he never lost his control like that with you. He wasn't like that. Not with women. Not outside of consensual bedroom shenanigans.

"Ohhh I have missed that" her reaction wasn't shocking though, you knew they fucked, you just didn't know they indulged into this, though you should have guessed considering the sexual history of the cult.

"Don't make me kill you Natasha, just tell me the truth, for once in your life, tell me the truth"

He heard you sniffling so he turned his head to the side to look at you, the look on your face was enough to kill whatever shred of self esteem he still had left in him.

He walked towards you and grabbed your arm to take you to the bedroom.

"Stay here" he warned you before he turned around to leave

"This is not you loki" his eyes teared up as you said that.

"That's me sweetheart, that's the real me..still want to believe that bullshit you had made up in your head about me? This is me..the monster I keep warning you about"

You shook your head as he said that, you wanted to stop him and hold him, tell him that he wasn't a monster but he didn't give you a chance, just an hour later cops raided the house, they were tipped off. Natasha told them that he had kidnapped her, she told them that you had no involvement in all of this, you begged Steve to not believe her, you asked him to not take him away from you but he said that he was helpless. All the evidence was against him.

They wanted to take him away to lock him behind the bars, he was to be questioned later on about his motives.

And that's when you were finally able to understand why he went crazy on her, he knew her. You didn't.

You didn't know that she was as rotten as Odin. He wasn't wrong, she was there to do his bidding and she got what she needed. You without him by your side.

@annoyingsweetsstranger @whylokiissocute @loki-s-wife @fraoid3 @siggytumbles @crzyplantladyvibes @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vickie5446 @wheredafandomat @mcufan72 @xxntiimulti @loz-3 @dishahaldar @mcdesij @scram1326 @elthreetimes @army24--7 @sinsandguilt @holotacopeely @huntress-artemiss @blog-the-lilly @ultraviolencexxss @disneyismyworldforever @bunny24sstuff @kats72 @somewiseguy @asgardianprincess1050 @multifandom-world8 @loki-laufeyson-1054 @daddylokisqueen @lulubelle814 @itsybitchylittlewitchy @rogerrhqpsody @praq123

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

If I'm not able to tag you please check your settings

#loki x female reader #loki #loki x reader fluff #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki x reader fic #loki x you #loki x reader angst #loki alternate universe #loki au #dark themes

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cinderswife · 4 months

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a companion piece to my previous outfit ref of rose, here's cinders!! i had so much fun designing her a variety of outfits <33 cinders my beloved cinders my wife :3 i will also do one of these for snow because i can't not!

design notes and lore info dump under the cut

nude

so cinders was design to be a complimentary opposite to rose as well as heavily fire themed. she's tall, she's lanky, and she's one of those people who is uncomfortable to hug because they're so bony. she's also a wolf girl. wolf girl rights <3

cinders is a trans woman !! this is very important to me.

the scar on her torso is actually where a sci-fi hrt implant was implanted so she doesn't have to worry about taking hrt cuz she's got so much other shit going on

cinders has had a hell of a time in cole's prisons over the past 10 years. her tattered ear and lip scar come from some of the several times she has stood up for herself and met violence with violence and she is notably malnourished

the gradient in cinders' hair is a very common trait among the people of her planet Perrault and is also very pretty

the dots on cinders' face are skin picking scars

fun fact: other than the eye color, having been amab, and a few environmental factors, cinders looks exactly like her mother. wonder what that's about

prison uniform

the prison uniform of cole's prisons is pretty standard across the empire: grey with a red triangle on the front. realistically, this should be the only outfit on the sheet because cinders has been in prison for an entire decade but that'd be boring.

cinders' uniform hangs off her body. uniforms her size are designed for peope with a lot more meat on their bones

princess party dress

full disclosure: this was an excuse to design cinders a disney princess dress. lore wise, this is cinders' favorite party dress imported from one of the four planets perrault was in a close trade relationship with. it's also the dress she was captured by cole in. it was her 20th birthday party which was meant to bring a little levity to the people of her planet in the midst of a terrible war. unfortunately, the combination of her stepmother marguerite's betrayal and a promising young soldier named rose grimm accidentally discovering a secret tunnel meant that the party went down in the most tragic way possible.

this dress is made up of lots and lots of orange gradients and was designed to match her hair

the tiger lillies on her dress and gloves are detailed fabric replicas

her tiara and necklace are made of rose gold, which on perrault is its own naturally occurring metal. it's very difficult to refine correctly, so this small amount of it is a fabulous flaunt of wealth and power

the tiara has no special history compared to other royal jewels, this one was commissioned specifically for her

the glitter was painstakingly hand beaded in by an artisan (and was drawn with a glitter brush lol)

queen of perrault

hey wait a minute, isn't cinders a princess? well. this is entirely delving into headcanon/lore territory, but my particular cinders was queen from the ages of 12 to 19 because her father, the heritage king, was old and ailing and her mother died unexpectedly (cough reneged on the deal with a witch that created cinders cough). in order to keep the people from freaking out, her advisors took advantage of her looking exactly like her mother and made her queen. transition by becoming your mother, you know how it goes. this was not approved by her father, who did not die, and it turned into a whole political mess that ended with her as princess instead of queen. she was the best queen her people had had in a very long time, even if she had to lead her people to war in the latter half of her reign. i'll get into the details some other time but. lore!

this is the only outfit on this sheet that reflects the cultural fashion of perrault, specifically in the floating capital

this is an extremely goth outfit by perraultan standards. red is the color associated with mourning and ties heavily into funerary traditions and bone white is the color of death and evil. cinders' reign was haunted by grief and mourning

the gold is just an accent color. all of the embroidery was hand embroidered, which in an era of perfect machine embroidery is a huge flex and considered very fashionable

she is wearing two veils. the first one is mostly to make the crown more comfortable on her head (that sucker is heavy and tugs at her hair) and features elaborate designs on the inside. the second, translucent lace one is to obscure her features so people don't notice she's a lot younger than her mother

the crown cinders is wearing is the rose gold crown of the perrault! it was designed for one of her distant ancestors, the first queen of the grimsnarl dynasty, after perrault formed a coalition with the other four trader planets. aside from being made of pure rose gold and thus the world's biggest flex of wealth and power, every aspect of it has meaning.

the seven peaks of the crown represent the seven great nations of perrault that cinders' rules over. the peaks aren't assigned to any specific nation because one might get mad about being tiny while another flaunts how big it is. the size variation of the peaks is designed to mimic the towers of the castle, which is on a floating island unattached to any nation.

the jewels on the crown are the national jewels of the coalition of five trader planets and represents the strong ties between them. the big topaz represents perrault, the morganite represents telemaine, the heliodore represents anea, the ruby represents charn, and the amethyst represents quaria. all of these planets fell to cole's rule after perrault did

cinders isn't wearing any other jewelry because the embroidery on her dress is worth more than any jewel in the kingdom

the fabric of this dress is very heavy because it gets chilly on a castle on a floating island

day dress

this dress is not of any of the trader planets' fashions. rather, it comes from the six month time period between cinders and rose's marriage (aka signing a piece of paper to get cinders out of jail) and their wedding (the ceremony that kicked off ouatis). this fashion style comes from the star system of delinore, the duchy snow rules over and that snow and rose are from. this is actually my favorite outfit on this entire sheet; cinders in pink gingham is something that can be so personal

look, you actually get to see cinders' feet! she doesn't usually wear dresses this short haha

turns out that this particular pastel pink is cinders' favorite color <3

this dress is a lot lighter weight than cinders has worn previously; the capital city of delinore, chel, is a lot warmer than perrault's capital

the rose necklace was something snow got for her as a wedding gift. cinders like it so much she found shoes to match

big floppy hat rights for cinders !!!! i want her in so many hats you don't understand

this is a gingham dress! its so pretty

the ring on her finger isn't The Glass Ring TM, it's just the one snow grabbed for the impromptu courtroom marriage/pardoning. don't worry, the glass ring will show up at the actual wedding. consider it like an engagement ring

ballgown

i wanted to give cinders an homage to disney's cinderella (who was my favorite disney princess growing up), hence this dress! much like the previous outfit, this one also originates from delinore. cinders wore it to balls and other formal events that snow hosted that rose was required to be at.

turns out that when cinders has complete control of what she wears (no royal duties or prison) she really likes monochrome pastels. she is my pastel queen.

this dress is made up of a very lightweight silk that shimmers in the moonlight

the glitter on the medium blue is actually baked into the fabric, but it makes her sparkle more

the cowl and the hair fascinator are part of a matched set, hence the matching flowers

cinders does Not like having her arms out, hence the big long gloves. also they're pretty !!

basically cinders is very pretty and i love her

#the mechanisms #once upon a time (in space)#ouatis #cinders ouatis #planet's doodles #there is so much lore under the cut #please read my worldbuilding #and admire my wife #verse: dog star in ursa major

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blushcoloreddreams · 4 months

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Glow up 2024 - introduction / What is a glow up?

With the new years approaching, it’s time to reflect upon your life, what happened in the previous year and set goals to improve yourself. It’s also around this time that we hear incessantly about “glowing up” but what does that mean?

Glow up is a popular expression that refers to someone’s impressive transformation. Usually referring to their physical appearance, lifestyle or self confidence

This transformation can be the result of conscious changes like improving the way you dress, adopting a routine to take care of your health or your skin, consistent exercising or it can reflect an internal growth or emotional development. In summary, a glow up is a notable improvement in someone either internally or externally

So understand, I don’t want this to be just something you read, but something you reflect upon and take in for your life. Because The results you have in your life today, the life that you lead, in all senses is nothing more than the result of a sequence of choices that you have been taking on the past years.

Therefore, if your results are not that good, you must first learn to make decisions that will make you reap good results. These results are visible. A disorderly, messy life, focused on the wrong things, generates bad results that will influence everything.

Even when a woman is beautiful on the outside, if she has a disordered life she cannot be happy. Some area of her life will be bad. Have you ever met a beautiful woman on the outside who is financially successful, but has never managed to have a good relationship? Or you've even met a woman who has a good relationship, but can't prosper financially and lives with low self-esteem because she doesn't look the way she wants to? Or even, that woman who has a lot of money, has a good relationship but suffers because she can't take care of herself? These are all signs of disorder in life. If life is messy, things are not in the right place and this will reflect on everything.

Want an example? Imagine a woman who came from a messy family and repeats this pattern. She has a romantic life as bad as her mother's and because of that, she makes bad decisions. She gets involved with multiple partners or enters into extremely toxic relationships. And so, she ends up feeling anxious, with low self-esteem and creates bad habits and compulsions. This way it is natural that she is not as bad as she would like to be, as well dressed as she would like to be or as well dressed as she would like to be. Ultimately, for anyone who sees this woman from the outside, she is not at her best. She's not as happy as she could be.

These series comes right here, to help you put order in your life. Cleaning the house, understand? The house is a metaphor for your inner life for your inner world. Putting your personal life in order so that this orderly life reflects on your outside world. I believe in constant steady growth and self-development and i want to take you in this journey with me

What i want this blog to be a place where you say "Okay, now I know how to live from now on, I know what I need and I know where I can and want to go. I know what is right to do and I know how to pursue what I want. I'm ready to become the best version of myself as a woman." If that's what you want then you've come to the right place.

Here you will acquire one of the things that is perhaps one of the most important things for a person: clarity. clarity about who you are, clarity about who you have become, clarity about who you will become

And I'm not talking about that nonsense about you need to know your objective, know from point A to point B. You've heard that many times and it doesn't work. Do you know why it doesn't work? Because most people's problem is not knowing where to go, it’s not point B. For most people, and it was like this a few years ago, it is being so lost that they don't even know what point A is. They don't have the self-knowledge and understanding of reality to know how they got to where they are.

You will discover what you think you need to do to become the most beautiful woman you know. And there lies one of the biggest problems of modern life. Most people cannot think about this, based on reality because there are many external influences pointing to the wrong paths, pointing to paths that seem like they will lead you to complete happiness but end up taking you to the opposite path, to an unhappy and incomplete life.

So I'm going to be forced to show you things, things you need to know before you become the happiest woman you know. Then you will understand the reality of what a woman is, you will understand why you were born the way you were born, what fulfills you as a woman, why men and women are so different and why these differences point the way to women's happiness.

The path to femininity has nothing to do with the series of wrong ideas that have been spread around, including through the media, over the years. The idea that a feminine woman doesn't work, just stays at home taking care of her husband and children although it is a possiiblity i want for my future is not the only one possible. In my personal experience, I realized that the more feminine a woman becomes, the more she has the resources to achieve professional success. The difference is that a feminine woman achieves all of this with much more ease and tranquility than that woman who thinks she will achieve everything with the strength of her arm.

Another completely wrong idea that people spread about femininity is that very feminine women don't think and don't have a life of their own. In fact, if you were born a woman, there is nothing more unique to you, nothing more essential to you than femininity. Which is very different from an artificial empowerment that comes through an aggressive and combative stance, such as a woman who tries to behave in the same ways as a man.

Even more wrong is the idea that femininity is some trick to find a rich husband and a weapon of manipulation or bargaining. Like exercising femininity, being yourself is something you do so that someone can pay your bills or give you some kind of benefit. Having femininity is not a costume for you to hold a male or a way for you to get compliments and flowers. You were born a woman and with a woman's body. So in fact femininity is its essence. It's what you have that's unique and special to offer the world. It's your nature. By understanding all of this, by understanding what femininity really is, you will better understand how relationships between people work, understand the lies they told you about being a woman. About money, career, relationships and then something very special will happen.

With a new year coming - although you can and you should always work on yourself - you will have the opportunity to review your history, to reorganize what you know about yourself. Make peace with your past with your family life. Put each person in their right place to get rid of all that weight you've been carrying for years. You can literally free yourself from the weight of your past. From the weight of carrying your parents' family history on your shoulders. The weight of guilty coming from your past relationships. Weight is the guilt you carry for every bad decision you've made in your life. And here comes the most important thing: you will review your path. Review your life based on reality, based on your essence, based on who you are and who you were born to be. And then you will create a design for your life. Draw the correct path you want to follow. Choose the life you need to live to become the happiest woman you know you are

And I'm not the one who's going to point that direction to you. You with solid knowledge will make better decisions for your life. You will be ready for the next chapters of a prosperous and happy life. If this is what you need, if this is what you came for, then come with me, take my hand and trust because now I am that friend that wants to grow with you that you have been looking for for so long. I wanna be with you to help you first grow into yourself and then into your dream life.

#personal #level up #glow up #personal development #femininity #feminine #feminine energy #glowing up #levelling up #traditional femininity #traditional gender roles #beauty #level up journey

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butch-reidentified · 10 months

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I have to apologize to everyone bc over the past several months-yearish, something has happened within me that defies my separatist sensibilities (though tbh our recent urban separatism attempt ended horrifically 🙃): I have met and platonically fallen for a man who I truly believe to be good and reasonable. I know the phrase "platonically fallen hard for" sounds unusual, but it's really the best way to describe the situation - the 3 of us (him, me, and my wife) went from first meeting to a close and deeply meaningful friendship in a startlingly short time period (for us anyway, as none of us tend to open up easily). I'm talking chosen family/introducing each other as family to new people. I don't attach terribly easily, and I don't CARE at this level for people easily at all, but this is someone I've become intensely protective toward in a matter of under a year. My wife and I are both legitimately baffled by how much and how quickly we've come to care for him, and he's expressed the same. My wife and I are extremely selective with people, and though we can get alone with just about anyone, it's extraordinarily rare for us to meet someone who we can genuinely relate to. We have a lot in common (and what we have in common are things 99.999% of people simply can never understand bc of the life we grew up in & are still in), but the three of us being so vulnerable and honest with each other, being able to be real with each other in a way we just can't with anyone else (bc of said life experiences), genuinely letting someone in on that level and caring about their wellbeing in an actual emotional and not purely cognitive way, is surreal and lowkey a bit unnerving to me. Especially considering how minimal the vast majority of my emotions are. He is always there for us in ways none of our friends really have been before. Even this past week, when my wife & I had a severe covid infection, he was the only one who showed up for us, without needing to be asked, cleaned the house, took care of the animals, and looked after us. So it was nice to have a person around with basic decency for once, but since then he's been going well above and beyond decency or even what a typical actually good friend would do.

My wife & I had promised ourselves no new male friends, but this has quickly become among the most important relationships we presently have to both of us (though tbf he's also our business partner, so that's pretty important). He's also helping us reopen the lesbian-focused bar near our house that closed last year. He was already a really good guy before we met, and I noticed almost immediately how his behaviors differ from other men I've known & how quick to call other men on their behavior he is, even in circumstances where doing so will negatively impact him or his life. Since becoming friends with us, he has been an active participant in our conversations about feminism, always wanting to listen and learn, fully takes critique and feedback to heart, and shows that he is committed to being a better ally to women every day through his behavior. I've known some fairly decent guys before, but they were always men who would be seen as soft/effeminate, and certainly didn't come from the life context we do (honestly one of the hardest contexts to be pro-woman in, even for women). This guy couldn't be further from that, yet is simultaneously honest, vulnerable, and deeply altruistic and caring. the whole situation is making my brain short out.

#mine #honestly theres more context that makes this 100 times more insane than you think #but i cant post it 😔

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lovingdeathmetalbygendercritical · 8 months

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TW: suicide, self harm, sexual abuse.

Think I at least owe you this.

1) I’ve been writing suicide letters for a few years now. That's the first thing I'd like to say. I was 11 years old when I latently wished I wasn't alive for the first time. Wasn't alive is, actually, a bit vague, a cuter euphemism to say that I was 11 years old when I first latently wanted to die. The point is, I've been writing suicide letters for a few years now and it seems like this one will also be the first and only one to come to light. I'm writing because, even though I know it's a waste of time, I wanted to let you know some things and even give myself the luxury of making some requests, if I even have that right, and if anyone cares enough to answer them (which is pretty hard to believe). A) I am writing this letter because I want it to be read. In this case, read by as many people as possible. For two in particular. My mother, of course, and Ryad Aranda Hipólito, my ex-boyfriend. This is extremely important. I don't want what I'm doing to be in vain. I will speak and for the first time, you will listen to me. Or so I hope.

As many people as possible, including and specially those mentioned.

Since I mentioned my first death wishes, I guess I should start with the beginning. But I don't want to dwell too much on the past because I've told this story a billion times and I'm tired of it. It’s also not very original. It starts with my asshole stepfather. Or with my mother illogical and unreasonably desperate to lean on some man's monetary status. My childhood before him was good — not that I remember much of it. I didn't lack food, shelter or clothes. I had my toys, a best friend, the only one I ever had. A normal child. Maybe a little too shy. They started dating when I was seven years old, he seemed like a nice guy. And what a surprise, they all do. It turns out that men are disgusting, pesky and despicable maggots, obsessed with power and supremacy, so this man who became my stepfather very quickly soon began to boss and dismantle as he wanted and revealed himself to be a real bastard. Everything had to be as and when he wanted, he did not accept contradictions, he did not conceive the possibility of being wrong, he did not accept criticism, he did not apologize, he demanded absolute obedience, he raised his voice and became aggressive at any hint of objection. You know. Typical male behavior. And my mother's typical female behavior was to be submissive to his word. And my typical childish behavior was to fear him. This is somewhat how we women are oppressed by four billion complete imbeciles, I think it's worth mentioning. I would very much like to live to see female emancipation happen to us, but as you can see, I have lost hope in everything.

That was a time when I was at constant war with these two. My stepfather never really liked me, I know that. To be honest, I don't think my stepfather genuinely liked anyone there. It was all a relationship of convenience — my mother wanted his money and he. I'm not really sure. Must have wanted the comfort of having a family. Not for love, of course. A woman to wash, clean and cook, something like that. The man I met. I can't imagine him loving another human being.

Set of factors. Poor parental and school relationships, low grades, isolation, loneliness, dissatisfaction, extreme discontent and unhappiness, equal to a latent death wish. A few years later, in 2020, 9th grade, 14 years old, I found two things that would become crucial for me: a blade inside of an art book and a girl who went to the market every Wednesday to drink and smoke.

At the age of 11, another issue also appeared to me that I usually remember as being The 6th grade, but which in reality was just a set of factors in the same year. There was only one person in the whole entire school who maintained a solid relationship with me, but some time after it ended, a year or two later, I realized that it was not possible to call that dysfunctional and chaotic thing a friendship. Thinking about it, my dysfunctional and chaotic relationship with human beings in general, just like the desire to die, also began in 2016, 6th grade, 11 years old, with Isabella. What I really want to say is: friends. I stopped having and making friends. My babel with Isabella was the longest lasting relationship I have ever had with another person.

This is how it starts and this is how it will end.

2) Mom.

I understand your fixation on money. I know you were once very poor. I understand that you wanted better financial conditions. But look what you did. The depressing legacy you left on earth. Your own children. To say that you brought the man who destroyed our family into our house for us. Honestly. Who are you trying to fool. How could this be true if when your two completely miserable children turned to you to express how much that man hurt them, you not only remained silent, but also defended him. Never confronted him, never gave him limits, never defended us, never took our side, never tried to resolve this situation, never did anything. You just let him control and ruin everything. And you only decided to get rid of him 10 years later when you started to get tired of his presence, because everything is always about you, about what you want, about what you think, about what you agree with. Because you are a narcissist. I've tried so many times to make you see, but you're simply incapable of putting yourself in my shoes for a single damn second. You can't understand that you did and still do wrong even when my psychologist said it to your face and then complained about how I don't talk to you. I'll tell you why. Because when I tried, you belittled me, refused to acknowledge that you were the problem and that you were wrong, didn't listen to me, didn't make a single effort to change and blamed me for the trouble you caused me.

And you know what’s worse. You will never understand. Even after this. Even after dead because of you. Even if I write paragraphs, books. If seeing your daughter's mutilated legs wasn't enough to make you see what you did wrong and change, I think seeing her dead won't either.

Money doesn't make a family. Love does.

Now. I'm going to say the third thing I want to say and the second request I want to make. 3) I'm not sure why — I never told anyone this, and I never wrote about it. Not directly. Not in so many words. One of the only things in my life that remains only in my memories and thoughts instead of being immortalized on some notepad or paper. I think writing it makes it too real. Bring it to the world. It always seemed forbidden to me, as if registering was illegal. It must be the shame.

I must have been between eight and ten years old. It is hard to tell. It's just that, for a long time in my life, I just forgot. After it was over. I just forgot. Then, on a certain day, I was 14 years old, it suddenly came to my mind. I remembered. I must have been between eight and ten years old. Even at that time, I slept in the same room as my brother. There was a single bed parallel to the door. I don't know where it came from because it wasn't made of wood like the other beds in the house. I think I slept there. My brother started asking me to do things. I must have been between eight and ten years old. Him, around 13. And despite teaching me every bad word I currently know and showing me a NSFW Resident Evil fanart on the computer screen, he started asking me to do things. I think he wanted to practice for when he was older or something. I specifically remember when, on the living room sofa, he asked me to take off my pants and strip down to my panties and how much I refused to do so until I finally gave in after much insistence. I have no idea how many times we did this, but from that day on, I started taking off my pants every time. I also always had my back turned to him and it ended after a few minutes. Yes. Yes, I felt, deep down, the impression that that shouldn't be done. I must have been between eight and ten years old. I was just a child.

It stopped, and I forgot. Then, I remembered. And it was the first time, at the age of 14, that I realized I had been molested by my older brother.

B) What can I say. If anything needs to be said. I wouldn't be surprised to find out on the other side if it exists that my mother is too weak to do anything about it. My brother was always the protected golden child, right under momma's wings. And without needing to do absolutely anything other than eat, shit and sleep. In fact, I think that's precisely what makes him the protégé. The incapacity. Men always win. I doubt my information will change that.

I wanted to ask that my brother be exposed in some way. I wanted to ask that other people, especially women, stay as far away from him as possible and not only because of what he did to me, but also because of what he can do to them. I wanted. But I know it won't happen. It's just what men do. They protect each other and then get away with the atrocities they commit. And that's just what we women do. We are abused by them.

4) Ryad.

When you once told me that if we broke up, you would forget about me within a week, I immediately knew it was true. I was always so insignificant in your life. You don't feel your face tingle and heat up, you don't start to hyperventilate, and you don't feel the crying rising in your throat and blurring your vision when you see me on the street. Now that I stop to think, I conclude that it seems that the only truths you told were the worst ones you had, so it is logical that you lied so much, having nothing nice to say. But I’m not writing to you to settle scores. Although the unfinished business that our relationship left torments me, that's why to this day I still write what I would like to tell you, but that you will never hear, in other more opportune texts that you can read if anyone is interested in looking through my diary — I know you won't, no one will. It's just that. Well. When I'm not feeling like ripping out your eyes, chopping off your limbs and killing your entire family (most of the time, but still not as much as before), I'm missing you. You seemed to be the only person for me in the whole world and to this day I have difficulty believing how having met you at that carnival by pure and simple coincidence was an unfortunate phenomenon. I still try to find other people, I've always tried, but it's always the wrong one, if there is someone right in this damn world and I obviously highly doubt it. The point is that we got a lot of things right, still less than the things we got wrong. It's hard to explain. The way your personality seems to have been made for mine and vice versa if you disregard our uncivil behaviors resulting from our past traumatic experiences. Your hug is the only one that felt right. The others are not the same. They make me feel nothing but discomfort. They don’t fit. You were the only person I ever loved in my life, or the only person I suspect I ever loved. It is difficult to identify the true feeling of love when a suffocating emotional dependence is created by people so quickly. But you. You're just living your life without me, after ruining what's left of mine. And I. I'm about to go for you. Like when we started. Isn't it funny.

I'm also not writing to you to somehow praise you or anything like that. I still fantasize about impaling you alive. You are, after all, just a shitty misogynist. A shitty misogynist who, to my misfortune, be it momentary or not, will still torment (traumatize perhaps is the most appropriate word) other women after me, and even worse, will make in one of them a child and thus pass on this pathetic and imbecile mentality of yours disguised as progressivism, like all you said leftist men do. Parasites. None of you really care about women. Disgusting pigs.

A shitty misogynist who I let come into my life and do this to me. I don't know which of us is more pathetic.

Ryad, if I were you, I would follow up on what you told me that night at your grandmother's house and do the same thing as me now, what you should have done a long time ago. Believe me. It will be better for everyone. And be in the know. It's your fault too. Especially yours.

6) These pending issues. These matters that I leave unresolved due to my impulsive and impetuous emotions. It keeps me up at night, distraught, miserable, grief-stricken. I’m so sorry, Emily. I wanted so badly to fix things. I wish so much that my most poignant feelings didn't make my head when I feel them. But I cannot. I am unable. It's late. I've been making passionate decisions driven by anger and sadness for so long to protect myself, but all that does is cause whatever you feel for me now and whatever made you uncapable of nurturing any interest in me. I'm sorry.

5) By the way. I went out with a girl named Emily these days. We drank, smoked, talked on that stairs just like we used to, laughed. She is beautiful, funny, smart. Everything was going wonderfully until you showed up. I think. I could barely walk in a straight line. All I know is that I saw in front of me, with my vision very confused, inaccurate and delayed, as well as my reasoning, a person who seemed to both to be you. I started crying like the idiot that I am, Emily hugged me. As if she cared. As if I meant something, anything at all. Since sober, I haven't really been able to cope with how embarrassing it was to cry over what I think was my ex while hanging out with someone I only knew a few days ago and the fact that this person held my hand and comforted me as if she cared and as if I meant something.

Everything was going wonderfully until you showed up, I think, and her. Some girl who Emily started hugging around the waist in a way that suggested they were hooking up or something. Too busy talking away from me, she must not have seen me leaving, once again in pathetic tears. She didn’t get in touch the next day, or the next, or the next. I did. I tried, apologizing. She must not have seen it either. It's better than believing she just ignored it. Since being sober, I haven't really been able to cope.

7) The conclusion of everything I'm saying and what I mean by it all is the following. I'm not a religious person and most of you know, but with each passing day, I become more and more convinced that I shouldn't be here. That I'm a mistake. Or that I was cursed at birth. Sometimes I think it's the only thing that can explain why I'm different. Why I'm not able of being loved like a normal person, despite having tried in every way I could. As if there is some canon and immutable thing that makes me incapable of this, regardless of what I do. Cursed. And despite the hopelessness, I really want to believe with all my heart that there is something for me somewhere in existence, that there is something waiting for me, but I know it is not here. And if there isn't, may I finally rest in peace.

I don't want to do that. I am so scared. Now more than ever. But I have no choice. I'm sick. Very sick. I can't be helped. I could, with a determination and vigor that I know I haven't possessed in a long time, get a job and leave, but nothing I do can free me from the curse of ruining all my romantic and platonic relationships, nor my inability to even start them.

I don’t have any future. I am a failure at everything I do. They took my dreams from me. I have no friends or family to count on, and I never had. I have no one, and I never will. Nobody loves me and nobody will ever do. And I can no longer bear to live with the mistakes I made.

All I wanted was to be loved. Just that. My God, that's all I really wanted in this shitty fucking life. Or ironically that people would at least feel as pity for me as I feel. I tried to be a good person. I did. And I never gained anything from it other than ingratitude. Some of you seem to have gone out of your way to make things difficult. And I spent so much time feeling so angry at everyone. So since that's how it is, let it be. I'm hating and being hated. As it always were. I don't want to be a good person anymore. And I don't want your fucking love anymore. Now I just want you all to fuck off.

You all failed me. I spent all these years screaming for help, but no one ever came. Nobody ever even cared. All those years of looking at other people from afar, at their families and their friends and their lives. Wanting so much to be like them. To have what they have. And wondering every damn time what is wrong with me. What is missing. Why they don't like me. Why don't they care. Wondering I'm right here, why can't you see me. But I'm tired of relying on this pathetic self-pity. You all failed me.

Bunch of motherfuckers.

8) In a few days, I'm still not sure how many, I'll be leaving. Alone and unhappy. It will be a shock at first, it always is. They will probably talk about it at school, the last time I witnessed this kind of thing happen, it was talked about — they called a nearby church for a group prayer, which would be a little disrespectful for someone who hates both Christianity and Christians. Whatever idiot then claim to be my friend is a big liar, if it wasn't already evident, considering that I was always alone there and even my closest group barely paid me any attention, inside and outside the school environment. In the same way, I don't want anyone saying, wherever, whatever, that generic "she was loved" or similar nonsense, because I didn't spend the last eight years cutting and intoxicating myself like crazy for feeling completely invisible so you now say you loved and cared about me.

Let's be frank. In a short time, you will forget me, and I, who was never anyone, who was never anything, who has been missing since I left my mother's womb and was never found or seen, will disappear once and for all. No one will really care, like no one ever has. The only people who will have their lives affected by this will be, at most, my own mother, narcissistic and terrible at her maternal task (yet the only one to truly grief and miss me) and perhaps the filthy and despicable maggot that is my brother. Ironic because when I was younger, the most visceral dream at my core was to be worldwide or national or at least locally remembered for famous achievements, taking into account that I always wanted to be a visual artist. Life really sucks.

Here are my final considerations. C) I ask that my body be handled exclusively by female people, that is, people born female. D) I also ask that, if possible, it be donated to science, and if not, that I be cremated, or that my body be at least disposed of in the most ecological way that my mother's pocket can afford. E) I ask that my current psychiatrist and psychologist be exempt from investigations. F) I ask that my clothes be donated, also if possible, only to women and children. G) I ask my mother to take good care of the kittens and take them to the vet frequently, you will have one less person to spend your precious money on. H) If the relationship between them does not improve, you will have to give them away — either Acerola, or the kittens, because he is clearly stressed, therefore unhappy and cannot live like this. It's unbearable to live with those you hate, believe me. I recommend donating the kittens.

9) To anyone interested, I give my permission to access my cell phone and, therefore, my gallery, my digital (and physical) diary, my social networks and whatever else. It's an interesting experience.

10) To my radical feminist sisters, whom I love deeply, I thank and am sorry for having been unfaithful to the movement of my life so many times due to foolish and arrogant personal interests. I should have made it a top priority if it weren't for the extreme neediness and desperation. But honestly, I don’t think there’s hope for us women. I'm so sorry. I love you.

This is my last literary text and will probably be the most popular, of all the failed crap I've ever written. Or not. I must really be giving myself too much importance in believing that anyone will read this. I thank whoever did. I understand those who don't.

If there is a God, I hope it can forgive me.

– κύκνειο άσμα, 08/19/2023. Cecília de Araújo Iparraguirre.

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stcverogers · 1 year

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DECEMBER FIC RECS!

fics that i’ve been reading and obsessing with over the month of december

this is extremely important and i take this very seriously out of respect for the community. please do remember to read the rules for the respective blogs before interacting with or reading them.

F: fluff A: angst S: smut

𖥻 - series /multi part

masterlist

BUCKY BARNES

F: the cupcake guy by @nacho-bucky a friend of a friend caters your niece's birthday party. he's softspoken and a little rough around the edges. you end up dubbing him as the cupcake guy.

F + A: howlin' for you by @invisibleanonymousmonsters 𖥻 when you view the house of your dreams you wonder just how and why it's selling for such a low price. you later find out it's due to the strange behaviours of the biker next door.

F: teacher's favourite by @suitk0via 𖥻 little elaine is your favourite first grader, not that you had favourites or anything. her handsome father tries his best to charm you but unfortunately for him, it didn't seem to be working.

F: mister hockey by @hailhydra920 𖥻 bucky is a typical jock and you try your best to remain unfazed by his sudden interest in you.

F: music to my eyes by @ficsxreaderr 𖥻 sam has been trying to set you and his friend, bucky, up. he's a single dad weaving through life and the last thing you are interested in is a serious relationship.

F + A: bulletproof by @amandaoftherosemire 𖥻 a few years ago in high school, bucky barnes broke your heart. things between the two of you have gone iffy since. will the two of you ever be as close as what you once were?

F + A: feelings are fatal by @sunmoonandeddie 𖥻 with your friends and the people you cared for the most gone, you struggle to carry on with life.

F + A: after all this time by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky bucky dumped you, the last thing he had to rights to was barge into your home.

F + A: stuck with me by @cherryredmurdock the winter soldier wasn't supposed to have feelings. you teach him otherwise.

F: still get nervous by @trulylostgirl there were very few things that made james barnes nervous. proposing to you, however, send him into a jittery fit.

F + A: on the run by @fanfic-scribbles 𖥻 when you befriended jamess barnes a while ago, you never intended for you to be kidnapped by 1/3 of the avengers and be forced on the run.

F + A: strange times by @beccaanne814 𖥻 you and bucky are sent into the past, having to figure out a way back home.

F + A: some other guy by @espinosaurusrexex bucky can't help but feel upset when he isn't invited to your christmas party.

F + A: your hands have made some good mistakes by @thenhewaswrongaboutme 𖥻 bucky barnes is hired a glorified babysitter and he doesn't like it one bit. as the seasons pass and the weather turns cold, he warms up to the idea.

F + A: i think i met you in my dreams once by @frostironfudge 𖥻 bucky bonds with a girl her met over the internet through pop culture, memes, and stupid jokes.

F: homecoming by @writingshae bucky is home from a long mission and you greet him the way he deserves

F: the act of giving by @mellowsaturns bucky remembers an offhanded comment you make

F + A: work wife by @buckyalpine when bucky's conversations have been centered around his new work wife, insecurities arise.

F + A: wild by @bucky-fricking-barnes 𖥻 a beautiful white wolf has been there for y/n throughout her times in need, now, the wolf is in need of her help.

F + A: things more intimate than sex by @hopelessromantic423 relationships mean much more than physical intimacy, yours and bucky's is no different.

F: uncle buck by @enchantedbarnes your nephew becomes your wingman at a convention

F + A: more than business by @world-of-aus bucky retracts his previously terrible behaviour and becomes a regular customer

A: punching bag by @buckysbabygorl bucky has had enough of you constantly putting yourself in danger

F + A: don't leave me by @ambling-rambling in the midst of an argument, you don't know where you and bucky lie

F + A: almost believing by @intrepidacious a mission is a mission and you and bucky have to suck it up this time. it isn't easy pretending to be married to him when you're in a tough spot in your friendship with bucky.

S: cuffin' season by @sinner-as-saint it's cuffin' season and the only thing you're looking for is a big boy.

A + S: pretty when you cry by @bellasburdens warning: dead dove: do not eat

F: side effects by @delaber the side effects from the super soldier serum feel awfully alot like falling in love

F + A: always by @jadedvibes 𖥻 it took you and bucky your last day together to finally admit your feelings for one another.

F: heat on high by @tom-holland-parker 𖥻 your firefighting neighbour grows a soft spot for you and your daughter.

STEVE ROGERS

F + A: wolf creek by @beccaanne814 𖥻 yours and steve's relationship didn't end on a good note. tensions are high when you return to wolf creek years later.

F + A: aurora by @prettyyoungtragedy 𖥻 steve rogers allows you to discover who you truly are.

A: black and blue by @the-mighty-jellybean 𖥻 steve rogers is a damn good doctor with a heart of gold. when a young woman is sent to the hospital under suspicious circumstances, he is determined to ensure that she is safe.

F: save me by @captainrogers-ass 𖥻 being the newest recruit amongst the lifegaurd team on midgard beach, it takes some buttering up from the rest of the crew.

F: mess with them by @redgillan 𖥻 how each of your friends found out about your relationship with steve.

F + A: tear in my heart by @prettyyoungtragedy 𖥻 steve was your best friend, nothing more. you end up being his fake date to a wedding and you struggle to hide your feelings from him.

F + A: my best friend's girl by @mywritingsblog 𖥻 with bucky gone, you and steve cross a few lines.

F: the senses of steve by @rogersideup 𖥻 how steve fell in love with you, retold by the five senses.

F + A: matilda rose by @christycurlswrites 𖥻 how you and steve co-parent to raise your wonderful daughter.

F + A: dirty secret by @nifolution 𖥻 your relationship is hanging by the thread as you struggle to keep it a secret.

F + A: mrs captain by @welldonebeca 𖥻 your life with steve as you go through the phases in life.

F + A: walking the wire by @pedrito-friskito captain rogers is far too interested in the team's newest avenger.

F + A: love triangle by @beccaanne814 steve rogers struggles to move on from the woman from his past

PETER PARKER

F + A: crush + wait a minute, who are you? by @webslingingslasher in which peter parker learns how being spider man can put a strain on his personal relationships.

F + A: a lesson in do-overs by @literaila lovers, to exes, to friends, to friend-lovers, to friends, to lovers?

AARON HOTCHNER

F + A: sick of maybe by @luveline the five times aaron hotchner hid your relationship from the BAU and the one time he embraced it.

F: sweeter than fiction by @hotchgirlsummer you and jack work together to bake hotch a cake that is nothing as sweet as you.

F + A: reckless by @ptersparkers despite the contributions you have made to the BAU in the past years, hotch still feels a sense of animosity towards you and you can't seem to figure out why

F: heart eyes by @lomlhotchner you surprise hotch at the office with lunch

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers fic #chris evans x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #claire’s fic recs #peter parker #peter parker x reader #amazing spider man #spider man x reader #tom holland x reader #andrew garfield x reader

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meatbricks · 2 months

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Fanfic request here :))

The Painter, by the extreme luck of the universe, makes a female friend who is 5’1 and mixed (half white and half black) like him. She’s the typical “felt bad for the loner kid so ill be nice to him” stereotype who sees the good in anyone and doesn’t know how risky this action is considering who she is befriending. The painter, knowing who he is, becomes obsessed as usual but probably in a narcissistic way.

hi anon!!! <3 thank you SO much for the request, and i'm sorry it took me so long to get to!! writing full fics as opposed to headcanon lists takes a lot of effort out of me, because i wanna make sure that they meet my own personal standards of what's acceptable to post here... since i'm writing for other people now, i wanna make sure my writing is in top shape!! :3

anyways, without further ado, i hope you enjoy!! <3

warning(s): mentioned/implied past racism, harmful delusions, mentioned past bullying/verbal abuse, mentioned murder/being coerced into murder, uhhhhh. reader REALLY needs to get a new job

fic is under the cut!!

The sun fell beneath the horizon, tinting the sky a pinkish-purple color that beautifully melted into firey orange as you lay in bed, listening to your favorite album and gazing out through the window beside you at the scenery. The fading light illuminated your quiet, suburban neighborhood perfectly; at least, it seemed perfect to you. Houses lined up neatly with golden light beaming down onto them, an occasional car rushing past on the newly-paved road in front of your residence, the well-kept shrubberies and hedges in your neighbor's yard slightly fluttering their leaves in the wind, as if to wish the daylight a fond farewell... you sighed. No matter how good or bad your day had been, being right here in this moment seemed to make it all worthwhile. It made you remember what was really important—not snide remarks from ignorant customers at work, not pay cuts or stressful overtime or even traffic jams on the way home, but this. This, and the rest of your life outside what you did for a living.

As your mind wandered and a mellow, easygoing tune soothed you, the thought of your newly-made... friend was presented to you by the celluloid of your mind. You pursed your lips momentarily. You hesitated to call him your friend, but you were ashamed of that hesitation. There was really nothing wrong with him! Sure, he looked a bit strange, and he was a bit socially awkward, but he had done nothing wrong. He was simply not used to being treated with dignity, you were sure of it. Upon first meeting him outside the coffee shop you frequented since moving to your new home, he'd mentioned his shock that you were taking time out of your day to speak to him, specifically citing his cleft lip as a deterrent to others before you and causing your heartstrings to twang with sympathy. You were well aware of what it was like to be avoided based on physical characteristics; especially here, in the deep south. That was, after all, why you'd moved here: you'd heard through the grapevine that the citizenship of Urbanspook, Louisiana was far more accepting (and even welcoming) of diversity than the vast majority of its geographical region. In a way, you saw a piece of yourself in this strange man. He sat alone, leaning against a wall, absorbing the world around him and yet having difficulties finding his own place in it. It was then that you decided you'd help him, help him realize his own value and potential.

And it was now that you found yourself thinking of your decision, wondering whether or not this simple act of kindness would be your undoing.

You figured it was fairly common for men to harbor at least a little bit of romantic feelings for their female friends; after all, it had been a trend in your previous male friends (and even simply some of the male acquaintances you'd met at work over the years). Despite this, you couldn't shake the way he looked at you. It was obvious that he adored you, yes, but you couldn't help but sense something else behind his gaze. Something that worried you quite a bit. You couldn't quite place what it was; no, not yet. You'd only known him for a few weeks. The opportunity to examine his intentions hadn't presented itself enough times for you to reach a verdict on whether your apprehension was for good reason or not. Yet, it was present. No matter whether he was in your presence, alongside you, or simply occupying your mind, it was always there.

Deep within the woods, sitting in a worn and abandoned house at the exact same time, he was there.

Reclining on a king-sized mattress and gazing at a single polaroid photo, a man known only as the Painter found himself falling deeper and deeper into a mad obsession. His deep, void eyes stared into the ink that formed in such a way that resembled yours, those belonging to his newest friend. He longed to know of what thoughts lay behind those glistening eyes, those brown eyes glittering golden in the summer sunlight... before, then, and now, he wished to think of what you thought of. Did you think of him? Did you think of his presence beside you, worshiping your every breath and motion? Basking in the glory of existing alongside the beacon of human kindness and generosity? Did you know of how he admired you, and your nobility in taking him under your wing in an act of solidarity? Your understanding and compassionate treatment of him born of a shared strife? He took a moment to imagine it all... anyone would be lucky to have you. As a friend, as a lover, simply as an acquaintance... anyone who knew you should've considered themselves one of the luckiest people alive.

It was fitting, he figured, then, that you had chosen him to occupy a place in your life.

He knew his timid appearance would get him somewhere. As everyone derided him for being too soft, too weak, too pathetic (he shuddered as the phrase crossed his mind), he would simply smile at them. He knew. He knew all along, that someone like you would find him and offer themselves up on a silver platter. Perhaps not explicitly, but in some subtle display. Some invitation to enter their life, to make himself at home in their psyche. He smiled. He had no doubt, now, that he was floating around in your mind in that very moment; breaking down your other thoughts slowly and bringing you closer to where he wanted you: into his grasp.

He wasn't quite sure what he would do with you yet. You didn't seem malleable enough to turn into an accomplice. No, no... you weren't capable of such despicable violence. He giggled, thinking of what horrified expression would cross your face as you witnessed the brutal crimes he'd made a name for himself with. Crossing his legs, he also decided that immediately killing you off would be too much to bear as well. Although he was far too familiar with murdering his darlings, there was something about you that simply entranced him too much to extinguish the life in your eyes. Those precious, innocent eyes...

He found himself lost in your photo again. Your soft hair, your glistening eyes, your impeccable choice of clothing, your beautiful skin, your gorgeous figure, your charming pose...

He just had to keep you.

#this is the answer (ooc)#this is the answer #this is the writing #this is the fanfic #x reader #🖌#urbanspook #the painter urbanspook #urbanspook analog horror #honestly i had a lot of fun writing this!!! i missed writing fics LOL #thank you again anon!!#also painter shuddering at the memory of being called pathetic is um. not exactly what you think it is #i'll give you a hint: hes not shuddering out of discomfort—#if you look REALLY closely theres some subtle hints of painter being a little bit silly :3 #but yeah tldr painter cant be normal ever about anything #and i feel rlly bad for this particular reader :')#smh she deserves better #for some reason i imagined her listening to pink floyd in the intro paragraph LOL #but i kept it vague so it can be whatever ur favorite music is!!#either way im sure its fuckin BANGER

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rjalker · 6 months

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HOW am I thinking about Edgar Allen Poe only for the characters in this short story to suddenly reference him BY NAME!?!?!?

What fucking subliminal messaging is here to make me think of his writing before he's even mentioned!??!!?

The Spasm

The hotel guests slowly entered the dining-room and took their places. The waiters did not hurry themselves, in order to give the late comers a chance and thus avoid the trouble of bringing in the dishes a second time. The old bathers, the habitues, whose season was almost over, glanced, gazed toward the door whenever it opened, to see what new faces might appear.

This is the principal distraction of watering places. People look forward to the dinner hour in order to inspect each day's new arrivals, to find out who they are, what they do, and what they think. We always have a vague desire to meet pleasant people, to make agreeable acquaintances, perhaps to meet with a love adventure. In this life of elbowings, unknown strangers assume an extreme importance. Curiosity is aroused, sympathy is ready to exhibit itself, and sociability is the order of the day.

We cherish antipathies for a week and friendships for a month; we see people with different eyes, when we view them through the medium of acquaintanceship at watering places. We discover in men suddenly, after an hour's chat, in the evening after dinner, under the trees in the park where the healing spring bubbles up, a high intelligence and astonishing merits, and a month afterward we have completely forgotten these new friends, who were so fascinating when we first met them.

Permanent and serious ties are also formed here sooner than anywhere else. People see each other every day; they become acquainted very quickly, and their affection is tinged with the sweetness and unrestraint of long-standing intimacies. We cherish in after years the dear and tender memories of those first hours of friendship, the memory of those first conversations in which a soul was unveiled, of those first glances which interrogate and respond to questions and secret thoughts which the mouth has not as yet uttered, the memory of that first cordial confidence, the memory of that delightful sensation of opening our hearts to those who seem to open theirs to us in return.

And the melancholy of watering places, the monotony of days that are all alike, proves hourly an incentive to this heart expansion.

Well, this evening, as on every other evening, we awaited the appearance of strange faces.

Where is the fucking subliminal messaging??? I was thinking I should finish reading his one short story before I was past the second paragraph and literally almost closed this to see if I'd downloaded his complete works yet to do so before deciding to finish this author first.

And then this is followed by this:

Only two appeared, but they were very remarkable, a man and a woman —father and daughter. They immediately reminded me of some of Edgar Poe's characters;

Hello

#Rjalker reads The Complete Original Short Stories of Guy de Maupassant #caps lock #wtf

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j0ystix · 1 year

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Joy being one of the creators of Ninjago in her fantasies ???

This is definitely Harumi’s redemption arc because she deserves one?? Are the ninja rly gna let her slide off with everything she’s done? At least make her work abit more to gain their favour and forgiveness 😭 to me, a character has to go through angst and lose something important to even be close to possibly being deemed as redeemed by the viewers. I love her character potential but I just think it’s poorly executed, motive couldve been more realistic and in depth. I think he strongest vantage is her past, she was a princess and she had a family. That can be explored and elaborated to give her character a boost since it’s currently quite vague at this point. Also Harumi working with black magic to redeem herself makes sense because black magic is also associated with the darkness, it shows that regardless of how much she’s changed, her dark past will always be there with her but maybe instead of her dark past being something that holds her back, it will soon become an asset to her that will push her to never give up. Introducing a motherly character to her life shows that she was a kid when she lost her parents, at the end of the day even if you hate her or love her, she’s still a kid and tho that doesn’t excuse her actions, a kid needs love and guidance to go down the correct path and the ninja were lucky to be surrounded by that growing up.

Pt 3!

Dolly will act as that one single wine aunt to the ninja. Despite her threatening to destroy the city in a year, she helped them in times of need and helped defeat monsters and villains with them. It was a win win for both parties. The ninja have a secret weapon and she has a family. But there are times where she refuse to help like when she’s out for holiday or when she thinks the ninja are too dependent on her. The ninja grew fond of her as time goes by, even Wu and Garmadon started to like her, but she insisted that they shouldn’t be too soft on her, she is going to destroy their home regardless. She really acted like their mother. Here are some things she would do (I hope you’ll like her character lol)

- she visited Lilly’s grave without anyone knowing to clean it and place flowers

- she helped give Jay closure about his parents

- she became Harumi’s parental figure

- she made Garmadon and Wu go into an existential crisis because they always thought that their father was a good guy LOL

- she never forgot the ninja’s birthday

- she helped Zane and Pixal become official, she helped Zane ask her to be his yang

Dolly loves valentines and love. Even though how badly it treated her, she was a matchmaker. But her character is someone who’s extremely concealed.

She stayed particularly close to Harumi and even helped her train for the first 4 months. It was difficult for Harumi because logically, if you were born with powers, how tf do you go like 17 years of your life without knowing you had them? To activate witch magic, Harumi had to do a blood ritual and she could only initiate her powers if she wholeheartedly believe in black magic. Harumi would then start becoming close to people such Master Yang and she even travelled to a realm called Eden. It is where all departed souls will ultimately end up in. The realm of the departed is for souls who still carry grudges and attachment to the real world but the realm of Eden is for those you cut ties with the living and who they were. There, she met Morro who teaches her about black magic since he was from the realm of the departed and the realm of the departed is filled with black magic users.

Ok so character analysis

Dolly wears extravagant clothes and she changes outfits a lot because she wants her presence to be acknowledged by the people. She refused to be defeated unless it was in the hands of Harumi because she wanted to give Harumi a second chance and she wanted to clean Harumi’s image to the public. She wanted people to think Harumi was a hero for defeating her “psychotic backstabbing witchy grandma”. She gave Harumi a year because she wanted Harumi to train and change as a person to show that she’s deserving of a second chance (which she did successfully btw) if Harumi wasn’t worthy of a second chance within that year, she planned to just obliterate the whole of Ninjago. She wanted to paint a villainous image of herself to the people of Ninjago so she wore very gaudy clothes and acted incredibly obnoxious to them.

In the end, it’s unrealistic for Harumi to be on the same level as a freaking witch prodigy that has been training for decades within a mere year. So after she put up a strong fight and Dolly is satisfied, she told Harumi to cast a withering spell on her to kill her. If it didn’t work it means that Harumi hasn’t trained hard enough but it did work, and it shows that Harumi will grow up to surpass her one day. Harumi doesn’t want to kill Dolly because Dolly was the only connection she has to her past and her family but Dolly reassured her it was ok.

Harumi : I can’t .. I can’t kill you

Dolly : yes you can, Rumi just recite this spell with me okay?

Harumi : NO I can’t, I just can’t. You’re the only thing I have left of her. Killing you means letting go of her

Dolly : Rumi, your mother will always be here with you *points to her heart* and me too. I can’t stay here anymore, it’s not my place nor my time

Harumi : you were the only one who accepted me, Dolly…even after everything I’ve done to Ninjago. You never saw me as a monster

Dolly : bad things happen but you have to promise me that you’ll never be consumed with hatred and anger. Never go down that path again

Harumi : that’s why you have to be here! You have to keep me in check!

Dolly : darling, I’m not qualified to keep you in check. Heck I boiled the whole sea into vapour and I’m pretty sure half the city is destroyed at this point because of me

Harumi : *chuckles*

Dolly : Rumi I’m so so proud of you and I know your mother will be too. I love you, Rumi, like my own and I know you’ll go far in life

Harumi : I love you so much, Dolly. I promise I’ll be good, I promise I’ll make friends

Yes, in the end, she did still love FSM till her last breath. And Haru still loves her when they met in the afterlife. They never got together though but they tried to reconnect and patch things up. When they met in the afterlife or the realm of Eden, they looked like their younger self. (When they’re 23 and 24) because that was an age period where they were in love.

*anyways the ages aren’t real I just gave an age in reference to how old they look like and to give a sense of time.

#ninjago #lloyd garmadon #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago harumi #ninjago lloyd

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katyspersonal · 1 year

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Happy birthday!

I never said anything here for Bloodborne's birthday I guess... This kind of speeches is not my forte, but I figured I'd share anyways.

It changed my life - an effect commonly reported by people who got into Bloodborne, of course. But I really mean it as well. I've been stagnating in the way I draw for years, but Bloodborne made me try out new techniques and brushes just to feel 'worthy' of its aesthetic as an artist. I was somewhat lame at media analysis and my headcanons made no much sense - but by analysing Bloodborne, I've developed the analytical, logical, observing and philosophical skills I never even dreamed of having with my monkey brain. I remember keeping up with so much detail and subtlety was so insanity-inducing that I asked my friend to send me very dumb memes to lover the raw ACTIVITY of my brain as I was loredigging.

I guess my decision to first develop solid Bloodborne theories and headcanons in isolation and then join the fandom was the best - it ensured my takes were very unique, some are even revolutionary (quoting the people that praised me), not influenced by anyone else and adding very fresh look at the things that seemed like dogmas for years. I think everyone should develop their own interpretations before interacting with the fandom, really. It should become a common practice in fandomry. Nothing will feel quite like being told that your idea is the most unusual one in years. I've always been weird and had weird headcanons, but they were chaotic and unfitting. But when I've encountered Bloodborne... For the first time in my life, the insanity of a piece of media matched mine.

I just... I have not been the same person. Both because of the game's characters+themes, and because of the people I've met in the fandom. Ooooooh boy... THE people I've met in this fandom... At times I miss my past. At times thinking about the way I've came overwhelms me with regrets and sorrow for the things that could have been, and that now will never be. Sometimes I question - have I ruined my life (and sanity) in Bloodborne? Was it for something?

But at the same time I always come to realise that I would not have traded the insight all this pain and experience brought to me for anything else in the world. I've often caught myself thinking - "The only thing I am TRULY scared of losing is my insanity". It is like I've finally found a friend I cannot lose even if I try, and it is all in my head. That pain became the most precious thing to me, because it made me get so much knowledge. That I will never use, but it fills my head, and so I will never be empty again. Another heavily personal thing...

As a kid, I used to be very spiritual person, believing in magic and paranormal. My life was hell beyond describing, and my only comfort was found in very specific dreams about the sea. I've stopped having these dreams for years. I forgot myself, and what I held dear. But after Bloodborne? The dreams about the sea came back. And prior events in my life started to make sense. I've rediscovered something extremely important just when I thought the world washed out the person that I used to be.

So yeah. Thank you for everything, Bloodborne. There is a very huge chance that you've returned my very soul back to me, and I am never letting it go ever again.

#bloodborne #personal

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chibitantei · 2 years

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I was asked to make this unironic meta about why Naoto and Adachi would make a good family by @jesterofinaba, so now it doubles as me attempting to find their similarities and you should scroll past this thing because I don’t even know what I’m talking about. Contains HC junk and very bad transitions.

Naoto stands out as one out of the two people who actually have a decent response to what Adachi is saying. The most obvious reason is because she’s a detective. It’s important to focus on the facts rather than being carried away. Aside from the Namatame scene, Naoto loves have the straightest face possible. Adachi gets under most of the IT’s skin, and they verbally attack him instead of countering his points. Their attacks can be poorly boiled down to as “get some friends you fucking scrub”.

Most of them are optimistic and naive. Besides Naoto, they don’t have a lot of real world experience. They know society can be unfair, but they never had to navigate this unfairness for too long. They managed to find people who understood quickly, Adachi didn’t. If Naoto hadn’t met the IT, I feel like she’d continue going down a path that wasn’t healthy for her in the slightest.

(If we look at Adachi’s birth year, we can see he’s part of the generation that lived during the 80’s economic bubble in Japan. Because of this bubble, parents drilled it into their kids’ heads that all they needed to secure a good job was to study hard and attend a good school. The bubble popped and this method of securing this job wasn’t viable, and Adachi has his view of the world broken and being demoted from whatever position he held in the police didn’t help matters. I’d say part of his actions in Inaba are some product of him feeling entitled for things to go his way because he slaved his ass off for years to get this dream, only for it to be snatched away, but I’m no expert in Adachi-ology.)

My point is, Naoto knows the world is not as sunny as people make it out to be. She obviously works full time as a detective and constantly deals with murder, corruption and on the less bleak side of things, coworkers who dismiss or ignore her contributions because she’s a kid (and a jerk). There are other things but this would make this too long.

Adachi and Naoto want something they do not have. Adachi talks about the magic ticket of talent, which seems to imply that he doesn’t believe he possesses it, or once thought he did. He blames his lack of talent because if he were talented, he wouldn’t be in the boonies. Naoto wanted to be male because she felt it was the only “correct” way that would allow her to pursue her dream. In a lovely PQ conversation, Naoto says this:

This feels like a roundabout way of her acknowledging that she had blamed society for forcing her to act this way as well as forcing her to disguise herself (though I think she’s kind of naturally aggressive) instead of taking a look at herself.

Focusing on the “talent” part of Adachi’s speech, I think Naoto understands that talent does play a role in being successful (see how many cases she’s solved at 16) and hard work may not cut it. But she also believes that luck is a factor. If Adachi had been born to nicer parents who let him become a magician, maybe he wouldn’t have been the killer. If Naoto had been born to a conservative family, they wouldn’t have let her become a detective and say she should focus on becoming a housewife instead. In this situation, she has the talent to make it, but because of her circumstances, she can never fully utilize it, unless if she were lucky to escape.

And to relate this to the family, that’s kind of what happens. In particular, for the Justice!Naoto AU, Naoto is sent to an orphanage because her family is all dead and none of her relatives could or wanted to take her in. She still has the talent to be a detective, but because of her circumstances and how adoption rates in Japan are abysmal, she really has no chance at becoming one unless she were extremely lucky. At worst, the second she turned 17-18, she would have been kicked out to live on her own and deal with the prejudices Japan has against orphans.

However, a specific set of events happened. Naoto ran into Adachi and that chance meeting changed their lives for the better. Naoto is in an environment where she can make use of her talent, but the person who made it possible for her to become the annoying creature living in my head is Hierophant!Adachi.

When he first met Naoto, he was still in university, not even a street cop. He has no friends and is still a little :/ when it comes to people, but he’s still a bit hopeful. When he runs into Naoto, he doesn’t bring her to the police station right away. He lets her eat some cheap, chain store ramen before taking her there. When they arrive, it turns out that there’s a strike and the police won’t be able to drop her off. There’s no space available for her to spend the night besides temporarily in a cell. He could have accepted that and left her there, but instead, he brings her back to his apartment and lets her stay with him for about 3 days before dropping her off. During that time, they both get to know each other and despite being a university student who should focus on his classes and himself, he decides to adopt Naoto.

This whole AU wouldn’t exist if Adachi decided to drop her off sooner or refused to get to know the kid who was freeloading in his apartment. Similarly, if Naoto hadn’t opened up and talked about herself, there would be no motive for Adachi to adopt this weird kid.

They’re also both lonely people, another similarity shared with their cringe canon counterparts.

We all know that if Adachi had a friend, he would be significantly less terrible. We also know that if Naoto had a friend, she would also be significantly less terrible. I’m going to show an image from her counterargument:

If you don’t get it, look at the Naoto’s expression when she says, “People can’t live alone.”

Naoto’s Shadow talks about how she’s lonely. Everyone in the IT has this problem at being bad at connecting with others until meeting each other, but Naoto deserves a special mention because I love her, and her Shadow and backstory beats you on the head with it. She is a full-time orphan who spends time with adults that hate her instead of socializing and making friends. When she joins the IT, she is noticeably quiet when they talk about normal teenager things.

At 16, she’s already solved 24 cases, something that’s impossible if she didn’t make sure nearly every moment of her life was about solving cases. If she put this much focus into solving cases and nothing else, she’d logically have a grand total of zero friends and zero experience with talking to people her age.

She’s independent and moves from city to city once she is no longer needed. Even if she were to make a friend, she would mostly likely lose contact with them—assuming Naoto would give her phone number that easily. Having friends would only slow down how many cases she could solve within a year. If she hadn’t met the IT, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she died from overwork later down the line. I think Naoto’s line of “people can’t live alone” doubles as an admission to herself. She won’t reach the same degree Adachi did, but this is an example of who she could have been if she continued to keep everyone at an arm’s length.

Understanding people is hard. Although MBTI doesn’t dictate a person completely, Naoto has been pegged as an INTJ, and INTJs are known for being bad at engaging with their emotions and responding to others’. How people work confuses her and when compared to things that make sense, like files and machine parts, she naturally sees no point in making or keeping friends. At least pre-development.

Back to the family, part of what makes them good is that they both realize they aren’t lonely anymore. They have each other, and then because of this, they branch out and make connections with other people. Naoto had zero friends in the orphanage and they all teased her for her interests. Adachi was focused on school and also had zero friends (which could have been solved if he joined tennis club). A chance meeting allowed two people, who understood and experienced loneliness, to find and you know, save each other.

Fun Corner

Both of them like magic tricks. Adachi’s is self explanatory because you cannot go anywhere without an Adachi fan reminding you about it. As for Naoto, this info is found in... Persona Q. Here’s the post so you don’t have to go hunting for it.

They both have good memory. Naoto’s is self explanatory. In Adachi’s Ultimax route I have never finished and never will at this point, he recites some things from interrogation law and brings up the officer’s less than savory methods of obtaining information. You would have thought he forgot about it but no. Similarly, it means both of them are observant.

They can be dramatic. Just look at Shadow Naoto. Look at that hammy bastard. She understood the theater kid assignment.

Family is just neat.

#Dossier: About Naoto #v: No Other Place in This World That I'd Rather Be #v: Seeker of Truth #jesterofinaba #the family are my blorbos #I will never shut up about the family

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