#me not even 20 hours going without it starting at my phone wondering which app to open instead: i guess I'll analyze my cycle if it means i | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cockatrice-writers-guild · 2 years

Text

LOVESTORY - Chp 9

in which syren does the dishes for roughly 184923 dream hours and then dies

warnings: swearing, brief mention of blood (in a dream), dismissive/harsh language and self loathing

I furiously scrubbed at the red stain while that annoying, somewhat high-pitched beeping played over and over behind me. I’d destroy the boombox that was responsible for emitting that horrible noise (or at least turn it off) if I could reach it but unfortunately, I was chained to the ground. Whatever. I scrubbed the dish harder, trying to drown out the noise. It worked surprisingly well (on the stain. Not so much the beeping). Once the stain had finally yielded, I rinsed the plate off and added it to the clean pile before taking another dirty one from the seemingly infinite pile to my left. That had been plate number…I couldn’t remember.

You’re probably wondering how I got myself into this situation. You see, I was just minding my own business on my raft in the middle of the ocean when zombie pirates invaded my ship and took me hostage. So now I had to clean their dirty dishes which, thanks to them being zombies, wasn’t exactly…pleasant. And to top it all off, the zombie pirates had the bright idea of playing ‘music’ (if you could even call it that) on a loop to keep me company.

This went on for quite a while, me scrubbing dishes and each beep bringing me one step closer to achieving tinnitus when, several (thousand) plates later, I felt a faint tremor. I ignored it at first. This was a zombie pirate ship after all. They were probably just raiding another boat or something. But as tremors continued to rock the boat at a noticeably constant rate, becoming more and more intense each time, I started to feel a bit apprehensive. Was something wrong?

“CAPTAIN!” I heard behind me and turned to find one of the zombie pirates out of breath. It was Bertrand, my most trusted crewmate.

“What is it?” I asked.

“We’re under attack!”

“WHAT?”

The boat was starting to shake something awful.

“What’s attacking us?” I asked, forcing my voice to remain calm. My crew was looking to me for guidance after all. Showing fear would be admitting defeat.

“It…it’s an enemy ship!”

I ground my teeth in frustration. “I’ll handle this! Here!”

I threw the dirty plate at him, watching it sail though his empty chest cavity and shatter on the opposite wall, before drawing my favourite pirate weapon, a two handed broadsword, and running out of the room. Another tremor shook the boat and almost knocked me over but I pressed on, climbing the stairs to the main deck.

Frantically, I looked around until I found the enemy ship in the distance. Unfortunately, the time I took to locate the ship was apparently the exact amount of time needed to load, aim and fire a cannon. Which is to say that when I turned to the ship, I found a cannonball mere millimeters from my face. I closed my eyes and-

BOOM

My eyelids flew open and I found myself staring at a familiar ceiling. My heart was racing. The alarm on my phone was going crazy. I reached over and turned it off. I was in my bedroom. Not dead. So it was all just a dre-

Another tremor shook the ground.

WHAT?

Fully awake now, I sat up and turned to the clock on my bedside table. 9:32 am. Uniform quakes continued to shake the ground. Velki footsteps. Not cannon balls. Ah. The steps were getting more and more intense too. Didn’t they know that some people (me) were trying to sleep? I considered trying to drift back into unconsciousness but any and all drowsiness was long gone. I sighed and reached for my phone instead.

7 new messages.

All from Thad.

Thad…SHOOT, THE PROJECT. I opened the messenger app.

Thaddeus: hey are you ready?

Thaddeus: sy

Thaddeus: are you awake?

Thaddeus: guess not

Thaddeus: well

Thaddeus: im leaving my house now

Thaddeus: dont say i didnt warn ya

I stared at the screen. That last message had been sent almost 20 minutes ago. Which meant those footsteps were without a doubt his.

…I WAS STILL IN MY PYJAMAS!

With one final boom, the quakes stopped.

Silence.

My heart pounded.

I wasn’t psychologically ready for this.

I noticed about half a second too late that I had left my bedroom window uncovered (I usually didn’t bother closing the curtains unless I was getting dressed), which only caught my attention because the window, which usually offered a scenic view of the neighbourhood, now framed a huge eye. The oversized iris zeroed in on me and I felt my cheeks flood with colour (my heart fluttered too but I ignored that). The eye scrunched up as if its owner was smiling, which he most definitely was.

After what seemed like an eternity of staring, he left. This left me about 5 seconds to compose myself before I heard a knock at the front door. Or rather, the slightly loud tapping associated with a velki trying their best not to knock the door down.

I let my parents answer it. I could hear Thad introducing himself, his voice slightly muffled by the walls. I couldn’t really catch what he was saying but I could just tell he was doing that whole overcompensating polite thing. Whatever made him happy, I guess. After a few more seconds of listening to Thad talk, I heard footsteps franticly making their way up the stairs. Mom burst into my room and as I took in her perplexed expression, it dawned on me that even though I had told my parents that Thad was coming over and that he was a velki, I never specified what he actually looked like and judging by her face, I probably should have.

“Your…friend is here,” she announced.

I nodded in response.

She left and after reluctantly dragging myself out of bed and doing all the morning hygiene things, I closed the curtains. With that taken care of, I sped walked over to my closet and grabbed one of the nearly identical dresses (minus the colour) before slipping it on. I ran over to the mirror and combed my hair out as thoroughly as I could manage without potentially balding myself. I triple checked my backpack (though I’d already made sure I had everything last night. Can’t be too careful) and put it on. Not wanting to disturb their conversation, I quietly opened my bedroom door and was about to head down when I heard Mom’s voice.

“-worried about her.”

Oh. They were talking about me. I remained where I was. It would be awkward to go down now. …and a little listen wouldn’t hurt.

“It’s just been so long since she had a friend,” Mom continued. “So thank you.”

“Uh,” Thad’s voice filtered in through the door, “no problem.”

“Honestly,” Mom tried to lower her voice but since Thad was a velki, she couldn’t lower it too much. It came out crystal clear. “I know how…difficult she can be.”

Oh.

“Oh, she’s not-” Thad started.

“You don’t have to defend her to me. I’m her mother. I know how she is.”

“Uh-”

“Does she talk to you?”

“…well-”

“I’m guessing not. She’s a sweet girl. It’s just…she can be so immature, you know? Her refusal to talk to people outside the house, it’s…it can be so embarrassing sometimes.” Mom lowered her voice a bit more. “Do you know what kind of looks I get when someone asks her a question and she looks at me instead of answering? Does she do that with you too?”

“Uh…no.”

“And she claims she has a…mental illness. Can you believe that? She calls it…uh…”

I squeezed my arm.

“Selective mutism?” Thad sounded cold.

“Yeah! That’s the one.”

“It’s an anxiety disorder. A severe anxiety disorder. It’s not that she doesn’t want to talk to people. It’s that she can’t.”

Thad’s been studying. I was kinda touched.

“That’s what she said too! Honestly, you kids have a name for everything these days. Call me old fashioned but back in my day, we just called that shyness.”

“Did you take her to a psychologist?”

Thad already knew the answer to that one. Maybe he just wanted to hear it from them.

“There’s nothing wrong with her. Why waste the money?”

“…did you even listen to what she had to say?”

“I didn’t want to encourage that kind of behaviour so I brushed her off. The sooner she realizes how ridiculous she’s being, the better, right?”

Thad didn’t respond but I’d heard enough. Like, I knew I was a burden, okay? But hearing Mom say it so openly? And behind my back too. I just…wanted to leave. But to be safe, I stayed in my room for a few more minutes. My parents didn’t need to know I’d been eavesdropping. Also, I needed to convince myself not to cry. I took a deep breath before making my way down the stairs. Reached the bottom. Slipped on some comfortable shoes. Fought hard to hold my parents gaze.

“Have fun, sweetie,” Mom said. “Be back by dinner, okay?”

I nodded and threw a fake smile at her before stepping outside. Thad was crouched down in front of the house and just his appearance filled me with both happiness and shame. I didn’t dwell on either (…actually, the shame caught my interest). He smiled at me as I approached but I could see the worry all over his face (he always had to worry about me). His hand plopped down in front of me and waited for me to sit down before lifting me upwards.

I could feel Thad’s gaze on me but just studied the lines on his palm. I felt like a cockroach. Like the curtain had finally lifted and Thad would see me the way my parents apparently did. Useless. Irritating.

A burden.

There was a moment of silence before Thad’s hand curved under me. “Hey, can Sy…ren stay over for dinner?”

“Well, I’m sure she’d love to but would your folks be okay with it? I wouldn’t want to cause them any trouble.”

“Oh, its no trouble at all. My parents have always wanted to meet her.”

“I guess it’s alright then! Just bring her back by 10.”

“Sure,” Thad replied, standing up. “Nice meeting you, Mr. and Mrs. Jones.”

“You too!” Mom called back.

Thad waited until we cleared the gates (Jeffery didn’t say anything on account of him being at home asleep right now) before he started talking.

“You heard all that, didn’t you?”

I didn’t respond.

“This may come as a surprise to you, but I actually don’t like your parents.”

Thad had, in fact, informed me of this little detail before. When I told him about the therapy thing, to be exact. Still, I felt my parents weren’t that bad. Sure, I’d stopped confiding in them after that one sided argument about selective mutism and I honestly felt closer to Jeffery and his family than them but…I mean, it could be worse.

I pulled out my phone.

Syren: They’re not all that bad

Syren: Just kinda close minded

“That’s not much better.”

Syren: Could be worse

“But they could have at least listened to you. A quick search on the Internet would have proven them wrong. It would have taken like 10 seconds at the most. But they didn’t.”

I…didn’t have a counter to that. I just shrugged.

Thad sighed. “I just…you deserve better, Sy.”

I looked up to meet his gaze.

He smiled sadly. “Look, I know it isn’t much but…I’m here for you. I’ll always be here if you need to like, rant or escape or something.”

I managed to give him a weak smile. A real one at least.

After a few seconds, he said “You know, we don’t have to start on the project today if you’re not feeling up to it.”

‘Burden,’ my head whispered. I shook my head.

“You sure? You don’t have to push yourself. We still have a few days.”

I shook my head again.

Thad nodded and his eyes went back to scanning the surroundings. I tried to focus on the new scenery (a straight brick path lined with trees and the occasional bench of varying size) but my heart still felt heavy. Mom had thanked Thad for hanging out with me. Thanked him. Why did he hang out with me? Why did he care? He literally got nothing out of it. I took all his time and attention and kind deeds and gave him a big, whopping helping of nothing. I didn’t even talk to him. What was wrong with me? He was sweet and caring and I was a burden.

He had to carry me everywhere. He had to check up on me because I couldn’t pull myself together long enough to function. And now he had to give me even more of his time because I was sad. About Mom complaining about my condition. I couldn’t even help with the presentation part of the report.

Burden burden burden.

I wanted to scream.

Instead, I did something much worse.

I took out my phone.

Syren: Thad, don’t take this the wrong way

Syren: But if I’m being completely honest with you

I swallowed.

Syren: I don’t know why you’re friends with me

Syren: Like why are you so nice to me?

Syren: You hang out with me and stand up for me and care about me

Syren: And I don’t do anything

Syren: I’m not a good friend

Syren: I’m useless

Thad stopped walking to read my messages. Then he continued to not walk. Silently. Maybe sending him that emotional roller coaster of a text while literally sitting in the palm of his hand hadn’t been the greatest idea I’d ever had.

“Well for starters, you’re not useless. Without you I’d be a loser with no friends.” He raised me to eye level. “Now, I’m a loser with one friend.”

My eyebrows shot up and caused Thad to go into a laughing fit.

He calmed down quickly. “Seriously though, one of the perks of hanging out with you is that I get to hang out with you.”

I made a face at him.

“I’m not joking, Sy. You’re seriously an amazing person. I really enjoy the time we spend together.”

Syren: Why?

“Didn’t know you needed a reason.” He took a second to think about it. “I don’t know, man. You’re fun to be around? You’re really interesting? You actually tolerate my bullshit? Hell, I should be the one asking you that question.”

To be honest, I didn’t think he actually had an answer to that. And now I had to deal with the consequences. He thought I was interesting? And fun to be around? How? And did he really not realize how…great he was? Like sure, he could occasionally be a prick but…he had a good heart.

Syren: I’d literally say the same about you

“Really? I’m fun to be around? Me? You sure we’re talking about the same person?”

I nodded.

Syren: You’re very

I tried to think of a word that would do him justice. Bizarre? Unconventional? Weird?

Syren: Eccentric

Thad burst into laughter again. “Eccentric?”

My cheeks burned and I looked down. But I had to fight the smile off my face.

Syren: You know what I mean

“Yeah yeah. Thanks.”

Syren: But what about all the time you waste with me?

“Genuinely enjoy hanging out with you,” he reminded.

Syren: But looking after me all the time must get exhausting

“Looking after you?” The concept seemed to weird him out. “Sy, I don’t look after you. We’re friends. As in, ya know, help each other out in times of need? Support each other?”

Syren: But I don’t support you

“Sure you do. In your own way.”

Syren: ?

“You know my reputation. You probably hear it all the time. And you know how I used to be. But you still chose to hang out with me. Even when I gave you an out. Honestly, your decision to even be seen with me is commendable. And that time you hugged me?” He did a chef's kiss.

Oh yeah.

Syren: But you carry me everywhere

“…and?”

I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

Syren: Burden

I regretted saying that the moment I hit send. That was too close.

“Burden? Sy, you’re shorter than my thumb. You literally could not be less of a burden. And it’s not like you forced me to carry you. I don’t mind. …would you rather walk? Cuz I can respect that but it might take us longer to get to my place.”

So he hadn’t noticed. That was good. I shook my head and started typing out my next argument when Thad spoke up.

“Wait. You really think that about yourself? That you’re a burden?”

My heart froze and I stared at my partially written message.

“You do, don’t you.”

A statement, not a question. He knew. I deleted the text.

“Sy?”

I put my phone away.

“Sy, please look at me.”

I didn’t.

Thad sighed and his fingers came into view. They reached for my face and I braced myself. But then they paused. Drew back slightly. A few seconds passed before he tapped on my arm instead. Confused (and relieved), I unclasped one of my hands and held it out. He took it between his fingers and squeezed it gently.

“Hey,” he said softly, “you’re not a burden, okay? You just…need different things from people. Having different needs doesn’t make you a burden.”

My eyes widened.

Different needs? But that couldn’t be right. My parents and relatives and teachers and classmates had always made some comment about how I wouldn’t…even the nice ones at times…they always…they said it would be easier if I did. But…Jeffery and Thad and Carol and Mrs. Bennett and that nice ice cream lady who knew my order didn’t seem to care. Were they in the wrong or was I? Did it even matter?

Different.

I always…I’d…never really thought about it that way before. But I…but they always…I could feel tears in my throat and my lips quivered.

Some people were nice and some people weren’t and some people were both and I didn’t talk sometimes and I had different needs. That’s all. Not a burden. Just….

Also, Thad was still holding my hand. I know he was just trying to be supportive but in light of recent events, it really wasn’t helping my state of mind. Having said that, was I going to ask him to stop? No.

I just…needed some time to think about all this. But I definitely felt…something. Lighter maybe. Like a weight had been lifted, if only a little.

I pulled out my phone and typed with one hand, which was slightly harder than you might think.

Syren: Thanks man

Thad unfortunately had to pull his hand away to check his phone but he smiled when he read my message.

“Anytime.”

previous next

#writeblr #original writing #original story #Syren and Thaddeus #OCs #the rooster crows

4 notes · View notes

eternitysoup · 4 months

Text

I woke up at 8 today and spent some time in bed, smoking and going over the grocery list. I took a lukewarm shower, although it did get hotter towards the end. The water faucet is starting to fall apart, and there is still that big crack in the floor. I am not looking forward to having the landlord in our apartment because we aren't supposed to have the 9 cats.

I mean, they know we have the cats. The old landlord and us pulled them out of a dumpster, and they knew we were fostering them. It has been 4 years, so maybe it is not much fostering anymore, lol. Still, I am not too keen on reminding the new landlords that we still have these cats. But I can't let the bathroom go too long without repairs.

After my shower this morning, our neighbor took us to Kroger to get groceries. We came out just under our $500 food budget for the month. A guy hit me up for money at Kroger. He said he was locked out of his cash app, but I said sorry, I can't. Pretty sure I've heard that is a scam line people use? Better safe than sorry, probably.

After we unpacked the food at home, we gave the neighbor $20 for the rides there and back. My boyfriend also bought this vape pen from him for $40, so that's fun, lol. I paid the electric bill, which was $140, and then I made the minimum payments on my two largest credit card balances. I managed to pay off all but 30% of the smallest card's balance, so that's one card at around 30% utilization, which I think is recommended.

I just realized that I completely forgot about the $140 phone bill. It slipped my mind, so now I'll have to use some of the money I've paid down on my credit card to cover it. Thankfully, I still have the money set aside for our current internet bill and my boyfriend's Uber rides during his jury duty downtown on the 5th. It looks like I'll have to cut back on a few subscriptions and maybe even cancel a couple of them. It's time to tighten the belt and really cut back on expenses for the rest of 2024.

Today, part of the Chewy order arrived, and we've been spoiling our animals with lots of treats. They're so adorable when they're excited. My sister also received part of her order, and the rest is expected to arrive tomorrow. Right now, I'm sitting in bed with my pants off, just relaxing and not feeling like doing much. I'm even smoking a little again, which is something I've been trying to cut back on. I'm also planning dinner for tonight.

I noticed that my lo-fi playlist on YouTube Music has gotten over 1500 views. I wonder if that means people are enjoying it. It would be great if I could get some reviews or feedback on it.

I'm feeling tired, and it's frustrating how anxiety can drain your energy, even after just being out of the house for a little over an hour. On the bright side, I have plenty of food and pet supplies stocked up, so I won't need to go out much for the rest of the month. Looks like it's hermit mode for me.

#journal #my blog #blog #life #finance #money #groceries #my journal #my stuff #my post #diary #thoughts #say hi #hermit life #agoraphobia #anxiety issues #showering #hygiene

1 note · View note

circethegoblin · 3 years

Text

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

#life hacks #life #not dying #staying alive #no one will see this #who cares though

58 notes · View notes

dontmindifidontt · 3 years

Text

EARLY MORNINGS AND OVERTIME | Nanami Kento x Reader JJK fanfic | Chapter 6: Returning the Favor

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Reader (fem, first person pov) Word count: 4852 Fic Summary: A smutty fic in which Nanami Kento brightens up the mundane, flour-dusted life a college dropout working in a bakery. Chapter Summary: Another scary situation causes Nanami to slowly begin opening up about his past. Warnings: drinking, oral male receiving - 18+, minors dni.

Read on AO3. Masterlist. Please feel free to ask me to correct anything in the above info, this is my first fic and I want to be sure I’m following all fic-posting etiquette. Ty!

My thoughts have been focused on one thing and one thing only all weekend. Him.

I went about my normal routine during my two days off: I read my books while drinking my coffee in the morning, and wine at night. I tidied my apartment and took care of my laundry. I took a trip to the grocery store to restock my fridge. I do everything I normally would but it's all under a haze of memories from Friday evening. Laying in bed Sunday night I hear the familiar ping of my phone, and see Nanami's name on the lock screen for the first time since he returned from his trip.

| It's me. I managed to get a new phone with my same number this weekend, though I never got around to grocery shopping... You'll be seeing me at the bakery tomorrow.

Feeling grateful for the warning I quickly swipe to my clock app and set my alarm for twenty minutes earlier tomorrow. That should give me enough time to get ready without rushing. Not that I need to wear more makeup or style my hair any differently when I know I'll be seeing him, but he makes me want to walk out the door with a little more confidence in the morning and the perfect shade of lipstick helps me find that confidence.

Lunchtime rolls around at work and I don't bother stopping my eyes from darting up at the door every time the bell chimes. Sure enough Nanami steps through the door and makes his way to the register, a smile creeping up on his lips as he gets closer. He says hello and picks out the sandwich he'd like to purchase before we get past the small talk.

"I want to take you out on Friday night. There's an outdoor wine bar downtown I think you'd enjoy, since I know how much you like wine..." he has a bit of a glimmer in his eye while alluding to my wine-fueled display from the other night. "So what do you say?"

I can't help but be taken aback at his question - it's only Monday and he's already asking me out for this weekend? Maybe he's truly trying to be less 'aloof' around me.

"Yes, I'd love to!" I reply without hiding any excitement.

"Perfect," his mouth curls in a smile at my answer, "I want to show you off."

Show me off? He's never said anything like that before. That feels like we're... together.

Before I can say anything he continues, "I can't stop thinking about how god damn good you looked the other night... all weak and begging for me."

I freeze completely, shifting my eyes around to make sure no one else is within earshot.

He senses my surprise at what he has to say but doesn't stop, "It's all I can think about, that and showing off how good you look when you know you're about to be fucked by me."

Now I really freeze. "But the face I really love, when you're desperate and practically crying for me to fill you, that face is just for me."

I nod in agreement, my mouth slightly open but no words coming out.

"So I'll see you then?" He asks nonchalantly, like we're having a totally innocent conversation.

"Yes," I stammer out, watching as he turns to walk out the door and return to work.

I spend the rest of the day finishing my work in a dazed state, operating on autopilot. All I can do is play over my conversation with Nanami and think about what's going to happen Friday night. I was excited to see him again to begin with but now... this is a different kind of excitement.

As much as I enjoyed myself this past weekend, I couldn't help but want more. He gave me so much and yet I didn't even get to see him with his clothes off. He hardly did more than loosen his tie. I know for a fact I won't be able to concentrate for the rest of the week knowing what I plan to do on Friday. How I plan to make him feel...

Friday

I clock out the second my shift is over and practically speed walk home to my apartment to get ready. After staring at my closet for probably an hour each day this week, I ultimately decided on a simple but curve-hugging black midi dress, paired with strappy heels. I wear a deep red lipstick to accentuate my mouth, sophisticated earrings that hang slightly below my earlobes, and apply a touch more highlight than usual.

After getting the name of the wine bar over text I tell Nanami I'll meet him there. Getting picked up by him felt so formal and I didn't mind having the time to myself on the walk. It helps me calm my nerves as I listen to music in my earbuds along the way.

There was no mistaking that I was at the right address once I walked up the winebar from outside. It was decorated immaculately with vines of white and red flowers, looping around the outdoor space as if the bar was a part of nature. The floral decor, however, did not dim the romantic sex appeal of the space. It was still dark and sleek, with a single candle on each of the high tops lining the bar, most of them occupied by attractive looking couples in their 20s or 30s.

Distracted by my surroundings, I jumped when I felt a familiar hand grip the small of my back. Whispering "you look gorgeous" into my ear, Nanami pulls me into his side, firmly pressing a kiss to the top of my head after giving the compliment.

"Thank you," I look up at him, catching a glimpse of myself in the reflection of his glasses, "I had a feeling you'd like this dress." I purposefully left out the fact I spent days deciding on it.

He leads us across the outdoor bar towards one of the few open high tops, and we stand beside each other at it. After waving over a server to place our drink orders (I went with his suggestion of some sort of fancy red I can't even remember,) he turns his full attention back to me.

"Tell me about your week," he states, more than asks.

Attempting to make my week sound more exciting than it actually was, I tell him about the new dessert I finally perfected in the bakery, the current book I'm reading, and strategically leave out the part about how many hours I spent daydreaming waiting for today to be Friday.

He smiles and nods along while I talk, fully immersing himself in the conversation and giving replies of his own. I have always seemed to view him as this straightforward yet vague man, though the vague piece of his demeanor is slowly chipping away.

Sipping my wine, I nearly spit it out when I hear him say, "I've thought about you every night this week." He wraps one arm around my side as he said it, pulling me in closer so that I'm leaning against him. I feel grateful for the support as my knees go weak at the scent of his cologne. Memories of last weekend begin filling my brain at the smell.

He continues to go on about how much he looked forward to seeing me this week, and my mind begins to wander. Is this him opening up? He told me he wanted to be less aloof around me, I think this is it. I don't let myself feel too accomplished in cracking his shell, however, because I remember just how many mysteries there still remain about him and his past.

We continue to chat about our weeks and flirt in the process, sneaking glances at each other's lips as we raise our glasses for a sip. Something about the stare of his eyes peering over a glass makes my stomach tighten and my thighs clench. His stare is just so all consuming.

When it comes time for him to walk me home, the combination of the wine buzz with the excitement of how well the night went makes me feel like I'm walking back on clouds. We continue to chat playfully and bump hips into each other gently as we walk side by side, my excitement building with every step since I planned to invite him inside once we arrived.

As I'm about to crack a joke about the bickering couple that stood next to us at the bar, I feel Nanami tense up and stop in his tracks beside me.

"Whats wr-" I ask, and before I can finish he juts an arm out in front of me pushing me against the wall of a nearby building towards a small alleyway.

"Stay right here," he demands, leaving me concealed in the shadows from the tall buildings on each side of me. He turns quickly and stalks back in the direction we came, reaching inside his suit jacket towards his waistband. I peek my head out around the corner of the building to see him wielding a patterned blunt sword - where the hell did that come from?

I panic and pinch my eyes shut, turning my body so that I'm once again concealed between building, back pressed against the wall. I try to repeat 'everything's fine' in my head over and over again, afraid to wonder what would cause Nanami to stalk after an unknown threat behind us. Was something following us?

Before I can work myself into a frenzy, Nanami reappears in front of me, gripping my shoulders and asking if I'm alright. It's a familiar sight from the last strange encounter we faced in the bakery a couple weeks ago.

"I'm okay but what the HELL happened? Do you have a WEAPON? What's going on" I tried to keep myself from crying as the panic from the past few moments overwhelmed me. Nanami tried his best to calm me down and brought me in for a hug, but I continued to demand answers. After he repeatedly avoids my questions I snap. Memories of him distracting me with a kiss the last time we were in this situation come flooding to the surface and I'm suddenly furious.

Tears pricking at the corners of my eyes I finally blurt what I've been wanting to say for weeks. "Why won't you tell me what's going on!? I really thought you were starting to open up to me but now you're ignoring my questions all over again. It makes me feel like I don't even know you at all!" I pant after letting it out, staring at him expectantly as we remain standing in the alleyway, my back against the wall.

"There's a reason I don't tell you much about me or my past..." he trails off at the end of his sentence but I stay silent to force him to continue. "It's to protect you."

I tilt my head and narrow my eyes at him in equal parts anger and confusion. "What makes you think I think I need somebody else to protect me? Or even worse, that I need to be completely oblivious as to why?"

He shakes his head in frustration before answering.

"I just... all I can say is what I used to do, what I still can do, is dangerous. And I don't tell you not because I don't trust you, but because you're safer this way." He seems to be having a silent, internal debate with himself before he continues. "I wasn't always a part of the corporate world, working amongst businessmen with no thoughts behind their eyes besides money. I used to work a form of... security. And I had to protect myself and others from very bad things. What happened tonight and the other week in the bakery are related to that."

I stared back in silence, completely in shock and unsure what to even ask next.

"These... invisible problems I've told you about once before, at the bakery? They follow me. I'm used to seeing them everywhere I go, but it wasn't a problem until recently. I'm worried that now they're focusing on you for being... connected to me." He seemed to think very carefully about his choice in words.

Hearing the honesty in his voice makes me feel I can trust him, but I still find myself struggling with the idea that he can't tell me what's really going on. Is it truly for my benefit not to know? It's hard to see how it's possible for me to be better off in the dark.

Still feeling unsure, but slightly more trusting in his decisions, I respond. "I trust you, Nanami. I still don't love the fact that I'm more or less clueless to what's going on, but I appreciate you telling me more tonight. This doesn't scare me, you know." That last part is only partially true, but he seems to let out a breath at my response.

"I promise I'd tell you everything if that's what would keep you safe, but I truly don't think that's the case. At least not now."

I choose to trust him and hold off on asking any more questions. I let out a sigh, motioning for us to continue the walk back to my apartment.

The two of us stand at the foot of my doorsteps, still shaking off the events of the night. "I don't think you should be staying at your place tonight - definitely not alone... I don't know if we were followed," Nanami says with a hint of guilt in his voice.

"I told you; I'm not scared, I'll be fine."

"I should stay with you. Just in case," he suggests and I immediately push back.

"I promise I'm fine," I reason with him, and he looks visibly stressed at my refusal of his help. "I'll call you if anything happens." He eases up at that but still looks apprehensive, as if he's still not fully convinced he's willing to drop the conversation. He takes another long look at me and realizes I'm not backing down on my assertion that I can fend for myself.

"Fine," he caves, "I won't stay tonight. But I'll have the sound on my phone turned all the way up if you need me. In fact, you should probably stay on the phone with me after I leave until you fall asleep."

I let out a short laugh at this suggestion, unable to hide my amusement at how desperately he is trying to keep tabs on me. It's endearing, it really is.

He looks confused at first but his face softens when he realizes I'm truly not scared anymore. "I just want you to be safe, okay?" his voice is pleading and his stare shifts back and forth from my eyes to my lips. "I... care about you and I have the ability to protect you, so that's what I'm going to do. I won't let anything hurt you."

I think back to the not one, but two, times he has done exactly that. He seemed to flip a switch and instinctually shift into the role of protector and fighter like it was a second nature. I would be lying if I said it didn't turn me on.

I watch his face as he continues to look down at me with total seriousness, meaning every word he just said. Something in his eyes unlocks a part of me. A swirl of emotions I feel as if I've never before tapped in to rise to the surface. I feel more than just protected, I feel listened to, cared for, and truly valued.

An overwhelming urge to show Nanami just how grateful I feel begins to take over me, and a familiar heat begins to warm my skin. He's already given me so much, and shown me how he feels. He's put himself between me and danger, he's already corrected or apologized for anything I've had issues with, and after last Friday night's escapades he has truly givena lot to me.

My core tightens at the memory of how he reacted when he unexpectedly came home early only to find me half-drunk, blasting music and dancing on his couch without a care in the world, wearing his shirt with barely much else underneath. My knees go weak and I feel a familiar pulsation begin to thrum between my legs when I remember the long, slow licks he dragged across the most sensitive part of my body. I need to make him feel the same pleasure I did that night.

Breathless and unsteady on my feet, I lurch for the collar of his shirt and pull his face down to meet mine. Without missing a beat he wraps his arms around me, linking them against my lower back. His mouth crushes mine in a kiss and I jump, wrapping my legs around his waist and whispering in his ear to walk us inside. He climbs the few steps to the door and we push through the entryway.

Shutting the door behind him, my apartment is silent except for the occasional drawing of breath from either of us and the sound of our palms aggressively sliding across clothing.

"My room's that way," I say while pointing an arm down the hall, still suspended above the ground by his hold around me.

"Who said I wanted to do this on your bed?" He replies suggestively. My eyes widen as I pull my face away from his to stare.

He winks as he says next, "You seemed to like being on the couch just fine last time."

I push both my hands against his broad chest in order to get out of his hold and plant my feet back on the ground. In one swift movement I grab his wrist and drag him over to the small couch just a few steps away in my living room, pushing him backwards so he is seated with his legs spread and feet apart on the floor.

I put one hand on each of his knees as I lean my upper half forward to kiss him slowly, trailing my mouth and small flicks of my tongue along his jawline, eventually making my way to his neck as he groans in response. After tracing circles along his knees and up parts of his thigh with my fingers I instead busy my hands with his shirt, prying apart each of the buttons until it is fully open. With his chest and stomach exposed I can see the heaving rise of his chest as he breathes. The sight makes my heart beat faster.

"You taking control now, huh?" he teases with a smirk while making no attempt to move out from under me.

"I'm just settling up what I owe," I reply seductively while kicking one leg up onto the couch beside him so I am halfway into a straddle, leaning my chest closer to his and ready to begin trailing my kisses lower.

He pulls his head back to look at me inquisitively. He then grabs the hip of my other leg and pulls my knee forward so that both are on either side of him, bringing my hips down into a full straddle against him, our faces only inches apart. "You know you'll never have to owe me for anything, right?" He asks in all seriousness.

Suddenly my cheeks are blushing not from my arousal but from sheer embarrassment. "I know, obviously..." I reply, trying to hiding the fact that my dirty talk wasn't coming across as sexy as I intended.

"Good," he eases up in his seated position once more, bucking his hips slightly as adjusts his position and making my pussy throb in the process. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to with me," before I have a chance to explain hooking up with him is all I can ever think about he continues, "And on the other hand... you have free reign to dowhatever you want with me."

With that I am absolutely soaked.

Not bothering to attempt any more dirty talk, I decide to put my mouth to better use. I kiss up and down the side of his neck while undoing the belt of his pants. While I tug at his belt he pulls my dress down from my shoulders in one swoop. After unzipping his pants far enough to pull off I frantically crawl back down off his lap, letting my knees hit the floor as I pull both his pants and underwear down with me.

I pull them off completely and toss to the side, still in a kneeling position. Bracing myself, I slowly raise my gaze back up to his lap and my mouth goes dry at the sight. He had pulled off his unbuttoned shirt while I was repositioning myself and was now fully nude in front of me, slightly reclined with his elbows propped up on the back of the couch as if in a total state of relaxation.

My lips curl into a devilish smile while I take in the look on his face. He is visibly out of breath and staring at me with such concentration it feels as if his eyes could burn holes. Despite that, he doesn't speak, and I can only assume it's because he doesn't want to beg. Deciding to move at a torturously slow pace because of this, I scan my eyes along his neck, counting the few veins that have popped up along the sides. Immediately following I trace my gaze across his collarbone, to the rounded and muscular shoulder connected at the end. Flicking my eyes to his middle, I make him wait as I watch his body rise with each breath, placing my hands on either sides of his waist. Finally, I look down to his lap.

As I do, I see his dick twitch slightly in response as if he can feel my eyes on him. I bring my face closer to stare, purposefully hovering over him so he can feel the warm air of my breath without actually being touched. He's so visibly hard that it doesn't make sense how he can sit so comfortably before me. It's as if all of his concentration is focused on letting me be in control at my own pace, despite how fucking aching he must feel.

Deciding to sneak one last look at his face before committing every ounce of my being to making my mouth feel like paradise on him, I peer upwards through my eyelashes. At that same moment he moves his arms from their propped position on the couch to come towards me, cupping each hand on either sides of my face without dropping his stare on my lips. "Don't make me beg," he grunts through his teeth.

I hold back my taunting smile as I reply, "Wouldn't dream of it." With that, I slide my tongue down the underside of his cock, beginning at the top. Once I reach the base I wrap the tip of my tongue around him and slide back up, angling my head to the side. He exhales sharply at the sensation and I do it again, fully coating his dick in my saliva.

Wetting the inner portion of my lips I pucker and press my mouth to his tip, slowly taking him in but stopping once his head has just gotten to the tip of my tongue. He desperately tries not to squirm while panting and swearing under his breath, clearly feeling inpatient but I don't budge. Instead, I suction on the very end of his head, and trace my finger down his shaft towards his balls. Cupping them, I begin to massage them back and forth and he involuntarily bucks his hips in response.

"Patient," I say, "I thought you weren't going to beg?"

Before he can respond I swap the positioning of my mouth and my hand, gripping his still wet dick in my fist as I press my tongue against the smooth skin of his balls. I widen my mouth and use my tongue to slip one into my mouth and begin to push and pull on it with the suction of my mouth. His hands now grip the top of my head as his fingers flex as if he's desperate to keep control of all of the muscles in his body. Again using my tongue I swirl and suck, alternating to his other ball and pushing it around the inside of my mouth with varying pressure. My hand that's working his dick continues at an even pace, occasionally pressing my thumb down on the center of his head and rubbing small circles.

My other hand reaches around and grips the firm side of his ass, pressing my fingers into the muscle. His breathing gets faster and I open my mouth wider to let go, instead returning to tracing my tongue up and down his shaft.

He hums in pleasure at the way my mouth glides faster and faster along the wetness. I continue to slip up and down, enjoying the sound of his shaky breathing, until I decide to suddenly change course and part my lips, taking him into my mouth fully. His breath catches and his abs tighten as he grabs ahold of my head in his hands, gasping out an 'oh fuck' to the new sensation.

Using every muscle I have I hollow out my cheeks and tuck my lips tight, careful to keep my jaw wide enough to fully separate my top and bottom rows of teeth. I bob my head back and forth, feeling his smooth skin slide against my swollen lips and pressing the back of my tongue against his twitching head. Going deeper with each thrust I can sense that he's nearing release. His hips begin to rise up into my face more and more, demanding that I take him all in.

Fully preparing to work my jaw past the point of pain I grip onto his backside, holding his cheeks in my hands so that I can keep him pressed into me. Caging my head in place with his hands he continues to cuss and mutter variations of 'you feel so fucking good' before he can no longer speak and just grunts with each thrust.

Feeling him twitch as he nears the back of my throat I know he's seconds from coming undone and I brace myself for the release. I hum a moan around him to give him the go-ahead to finish, sending vibrations along his cock with the sound. His hips stutter and he moans in response, jolting forward and nearly choking me on a gag as I feel a warm burst of thick liquid coat the far roof of my mouth. He continues to pump two more spurts into my throat and mouth as I moan in pleasure at the fact that I've just made him reach his climax. He gently starts to slide himself out of my mouth and I keep my lips wrapped tight around him until he's fully out, then swallow tightly.

Licking my lips I raise my eyes up at his disheveled state, seeing him stare down at me in equal parts disbelief and amazement while out of breath. "Holy fucking shit," is all he can say and I pull myself up from my knees, straddling him once again only this time in nothing but my bra and soaked-through panties.

As I hover my hips over him, careful not to apply pressure to his oversensitive cock below me, he reaches around to fully cup my ass in both hands. He begins to slide two of his fingers around, reaching to press up against my entrance.

I stop him and tease with a smile, "that was my turn to leave you exhausted and fucked blind."

He can barely form a sentence while grappling for a better grip on my hips as I lift myself up off the couch and slide my dress back on.

"Save your energy for next time," I wink, "I plan on making you need it."

..........

| Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |

thank you for reading !! pls tell me everyone has seen the new official Nanami art with the undone tie im crying

Join my taglist here.

Taglist: @hellonaomix

#jujutsu kaisen fanfic #nanami kento fic #nanami kento smut #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut

35 notes · View notes

ash19871962 · 3 years

Text

Sisters

Warnings- Blood, Domestic Abuse, slight mention of suicide (not my choice criminal minds made the story for rosalyn)

Jennifer Jareau x OC Jareau

Having an older sister was sometimes a blessing and a curse. There was absolutely nothing you wouldn't do for her, after everything she had done for you. It annoyed you how quickly you guys would make up after a fight, but she was your best friend.

Both of your childhoods were incredibly different, having grown up in the same house but with totally different atmospheres. When you were two and JJ was 11, your 15 year old sister Rosalyn took her own life.

After that things changed in your house, you don't really remember it too much but Jj would tell you stories about that time. Especially at night when you were supposed to be sleeping, trying to remember a sister you don't actually remember is very difficult.

Of course you've seen pictures of all three of you but she is still a stranger to you. But to Jj it affects her deeply, Ros was her idol.

Sometimes in the back of your mind you wonder if Jj even likes you or is just using you to replace Ros. After all your 9 years younger than her? But she is still your big sister and you can't think of her like that for long.

It doesn't surprise you as you grew up that Jj is everywhere. Anything that happened she was there, when Ricky that snot nose kid from 1st grade punched you in the face, she spent hours in the garage showing you how to block your face.

At 14 years old she had much better things to do but she stayed with you. Cleaned your nose and made sure you didn't tell mom. Your mom was probably more of an absentee parent, like she was there in body but not in mind too much. Jj says Ros took a part of her, but sometimes you feel jipped.

Mom apparently used to laugh and smile, plan fun things for them all to do. But you can't remember any of this. You only remember Jj. She was the only one who looked after you, kept you safe it was almost like she was your mom at times, but you always remember her.

Remembering sharing a bed with her during storms, playing in makeup singing stupid songs, sharing secrets and just plain missing her.

She would be so disappointed if she could see you now. Not really having a choice anymore anyways, telling her is essential but your still scared what if your big sister can't help?

Shivering in the cool breeze taking into account your still bleeding a little you decide it's time to leave. Wiping the blood out of your face as best you can, the gash above your eye stings.

The fight you just had was nothing new, the bruises on you back would testify to that. Even through all this you still don't know how to even tell Jj.

It's not an easy conversation, she is either going to be so mad at you she won't speak to you or so over protective she's gonna kill him.

Your phone on your lap feels heavy, but the nerves in your stomach feel like a lead weight. Opening your messaging app you text her

Aj- Hey jayge Are you busy, can I call?

A couple minutes ago by and she texts you back

Jj- Abs! Hey hun yeah we're almost done with this case, give me a couple hours I'll text before we head to the airport ok? Love you💜

You don't want to be disappointed but you guess it'll have to do. Grabbing your phone making your way into the house stopping briefly to grab a couple changes of clothes and your memory box which has everything important in it including you birth certificate.

Making a split decision you also leave your phone but write down all the important numbers just in case. Knowing by the time Jj texts, you'll either be in the hospital or with her.

Nothing else in this house is important . Feeling like the worst thing possible is being stuck here, you leave and make your way home to Jj.

Getting behind the wheel planning to make such a long drive from Pennsylvania all the way to Quantico or at least as close as you can get.

First things first she needs a Dr, so she decides to take care of that first pulling out of the driveway and driving putting a hospital search in her GPS, locating one two towns over that she won't be recognized in she proceeds there.

Sitting in her car fiddling her humbs working up the courage to move. Finally making the decision you walk in and start a new life.

A nurse approaches you and escorts you to the back, answering questions left and right

Name Abigail Jaraeu

Age 20

What happened... Your not exactly sure how to answer this so you don't answer.

Getting changed into the stupid gown you realize how alone you are. Butterflies fly in your stomach making you almost nauseous.

The Dr, has a knowing look in his eye as he looks over your injuries, noticing more than you realize.

The gash above your eye takes 8 stitches, your nose is not broken but two black eyes are in your future, didn't even notice the split lip until the dr goes to stitch it 3 more there.

Feeling absolutely terrible it's not done, the rest of the body check shows more injuries none of them too serious just painful.

The broken wrist being the worst, mystified that you could drive all the way there without so much as a twinge of pain.

Apparently adrenaline is a real thing.

Shocked as the Dr starts applying the cast, absently shocked and numb to how you you must look.

You just want Jj.

To hug you, to hold your hand, to kiss your forehead, your scared and you want your big sister, but she is at work.

Surprisingly no broke ribs just jarred heavily, and of course the bruises, you are given a prescription for pain and instructions for the cast, and you sign yourself out against what they recommend but you know you are just ready to be with Jj.

The drive from this place to Jj is roughly 5 hours so you get started.

The phone you left at the house has to be found by now. Memories of the fight flash as your merge on the interstate, setting cruise control you let yourself relax.

The shoving, the broken mirror the outrage that you didn't do anything wrong. It made no sense to you, Johnny was supposed to be a good guy, but he ended up being the scariest thing you've ever encountered.

As your driving you remember Jj is on a case so no one is at her house. Your nephews would be with Wills Mom. Maybe you could stay there till they got back you had a key?

In this situation you didn't think she'd mind.

God you were scared, what If she yelled at you? If she did your pretty sure you would crumble.

Driving is incredibly hard with a cast but you have to make due, you have to get there. Once there everything will work out.

Feeling incredibly guilty now, you think should you even bother Jj? She literally has children what if Johnny came there?

You don't think he's that stupid but you never know. Jj would kill him.

Stopping to fill up with gas using most of the cash you have, you keep driving closer and closer to safety.

For probably the quietest drive your ever made in your life you finally make it to Jj's neighborhood.

Concerned now because it's 2 am and the street is completely deserted, you make up your mind to park farther down the road from her house just in case she's actually already home.

The upstairs light is on, and your basically a nervous wreck. All you want is her, but scared in how she's gonna react .

Slowly getting out of your car, you make your way to Jj's porch and knock softly.

Hearing the footsteps, turns the butterflies in your stomach turn to rocks.

Will opens the door angry someone knocked on the door at 2 am. The second he sees your face his jaw drops, and concern fills his eyes.

Your arms are grabbed into a hug, tears finally fall from your eyes as he calls for your sister to come down the stairs.

Obviously Jj took that offensively, as it's 2 am and she only just got home.

Upon seeing you stitched casted and crying in her husband's arms, all composure is gone.

The next couple of minutes are a blur, feeling yourself be transferred into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably, but strangely you feel better.

Her hands are on your cheeks, and her blue eyes are filled with anguish but at that moment you feel safer than you have in a long time.

"What happened to you Abs? I tried calling you and Johnny said you went to bed"

There is a lump in your throat "Johnny did this, all if this"..

Out of the corner of your eye you see Will leave the room, and in that moment you know, you have to tell her everything..

The story spills from your lips, how he stared out like a normal boyfriend, then he just got so angry at everything how the fights started and how this one ended, how scared you were but most of all how you just had to get to her.

Jj stares back speechless and incredibly livid, her baby sister her best friend was hurt, and came to her.

She pulls you into another hug and in that moment it didn't matter how you looked or were you came from, you were home.

Jj would fix everything, and you would never be able to repay her.

#criminal minds #fanfiction #jennifer jereau x reader

23 notes · View notes

chris-evans-indian-fanfic · 4 years

Text

Finger Painting

One shot

This is for one of my most favourite writer's challenge! My one-shot entry for @jtargaryen18 writing challenge for her and Chris Evans' birthday month 😄

Description - It's been a month since the reader (Y/N) and Chris Evans have started dating. As the reader is plump around the stomach and the hips, she feels awkward having sex with Chris and so, has been putting it off. But what happens when Chris walks in on her "finger painting"?

Warning - Female masturbation, mentions of porn

Only 18+ proceed!

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

Moodboard is by the wonderful @donutloverxo ! Show her some love people 🥰

1 month, 4 days, 2 hours and 26 minutes ago, your dreams had come true. You had started dating Chris Evans! The two of you had met at an axe-throwing club, where you worked. Chris had failed to hit the axe on the wooden board, multiple times. After his first few futile attempts, his group of friends had started teasing him relentlessly, which had further made him anxious.

You had seen him fidgeting with his hands, his breaths shallow as he kept running his hands through his hair. You recognised the signs of anxiety when you saw them, being a victim of anxiety bouts yourself. That's enough, you had decided and taken it upon yourself to share some tips. Chris had followed your instructions and hit his mark, successfully silencing his friends.

After then, he had visited the club almost every week for 5 months. He often offered to buy you a cup of coffee "in exchange for sharing your wise axe-throwing wisdom" he had put it. Putting your anxiety at bay, you had finally given in.

You smiled remembering the coffee-date. It was a simple under $20 date but it had been full of priceless, magical moments. The warm coffee in your hands, soft and crunchy chocolate chip cookies, slow walk under the gorgeous yellow and orange autumn trees, and a lifetime worth of conversations to keep you both company.

After a few more of such simple dates, Chris had officially asked you to be his girlfriend. Still high from the magical date, you had agreed without a second thought.

What you didn't realise was that while dating Chris was a dream come true, it was also as if one of your worst nightmares had come alive.

You found yourself constantly wondering how can someone like him date someone like you?! While you were sure Chris was sculpted by Michelangelo himself, on the other hand, you knew that you were the inspiration for the Michelin tire mascot. And so, even after dating him for 1 month, 4 days, 2 hours and 45 minutes, you still couldn't muster the strength to get physical with him.

While Chris hadn't made any moves to get intimate with you, you knew time would come wherein you would have to either talk to him about it, or get naked in front of him. You didn't like either of those prospects.

Sighing, you laid down on your bed, feeling down after a long day at work. You needed to make yourself feel good. You needed a release.

As you prepared for your bath, you heard your mobile ring. "Hey baby," Chris' voice sounded cheerful on the other end of the call, "wanna watch a movie tonight?"

"Hey Chris, I am too tired. I think I will just go to bed."

"Awww. Are you going to sleep already? Did you eat?" he inquired.

"I was actually about to take a bath, then eat," you replied.

"You sound so stressed baby. Why don't you do some finger painting? I am sure that will make you feel better," Chris suggested.

You have no idea, you thought. "Yeah that's a good suggestion. I will do that."

"You should. I bet they are masterpieces," he said, subtly expressing his desire to view her finger paintings, again.

"Hehe yeah," you laughed awkwardly, "I got to go now. Will take to you tomorrow, 'kay?" you said, eager to cut the call.

"Mmm okay. Take care of yourself baby," said Chris.

Chris found it weird that you had never shown him any of your paintings. Plus, you also avoided the question or were quick to change the topic. With curiosity getting better of him, he decided to head for your place, picking up wine, flowers and chocolates along the way.

After the long bath, you laid on the bed. Legs parted, your left hand immediately went to your bare sex, foregoing all the formality with your breasts. Your right hand browsed through Chris' video interviews on your mobile phone. While porn had worked well for you earlier, it just wasn't good enough anymore. You didn't find those naked, muscular men attractive now.

Selecting your favourite video interview of Chris, you played it on your speaker. His deep and strong voice blared on the loudest volume, while his bearded face, and a tight tshirt hugging his muscles filled your smartphone screen. You were already getting wet, your fingers easily diving through your folds. Time to do some finger painting.

When Chris reached your apartment, he heard a muffled male voice through the door. He tried the broken doorbell and when you didn't answer his knocks, he used the spare key hidden under the welcome mat to enter.

At first, he was surprised to hear a male voice talking on the speaker. He thought maybe you were listening to a podcast. But there was something familiar about the voice...

After a moment, realisation struck! You were watching his interview! Aaawww which meant you were missing him. Good thing he came down to pamper you.

Wishing to surprise you, he sneaked around the living room and entered the kitchen, only to find it empty. Then he heard a small moan from your bedroom. He carefully entered through the ajar door and found one of the most sexiest sights in front of him.

You were sprawled on the bed, your back arched just the tiniest bit as you rapidly thrusted 2 fingers inside of you, with your other hand fondling your bundle of nerves. He raised his eyebrows and smirked, finally understanding the meaning behind finger painting.

He slowly started rubbing his growing erection as you neared your release. You ended your ministrations with an exclamation, your body hitting the mattress as relaxation flooded through you. A peaceful smile crept up on your face, as you felt your release seeping between your thighs.

You screamed with shock as 200 pounds of drop-dead-gorgeous landed on top of you. 2 twinkling eyes, filled with lust and a cocky smirk flashed above you. "Honey, if this is what you call finger painting, then I would love to dip my brush in your paints," Chris said right before he captured your lips with his.

That was it. All it took was a hungry, sexual and passionate kiss to drive away all of your doubts, your anxiety.

You almost laughed at the speed with which Chris disposed off his clothes, his hard and unyielding body merging together with your soft, plump frame, eliminating all the distance between you two.

#30DaysOfChris2020 #chris evans #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chrisevans #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x plus size reader #chris evans x reader #Chris Evans x overweight reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #smut #chris evans smut #30 days of Chris 2020 #chris evans imagines #chris evans interview #chris evans imagine

393 notes · View notes

one-more-offbeat-anthem · 3 years

Note

Prompt: time travel

oooh this one is fun! I hope you enjoy what I cooked up :)

(I’m accepting prompts to celebrate 300 followers! submit something if you want!)

--------------------

Lyman Jones, Dec. 14, 1942-March 25, 1986, the gravestone read, with no epithet or anything else underneath it. It was a routine salt-n-burn, the kind of thing Dean could practically do in his sleep. It was even easier with Cas helping--even without his angel mojo, Cas was strong, and if Dean took a couple of longer-than-necessary glances at Cas’ arms as he dug, well...that was his business.

“We should be done with this in less than an hour,” Dean said, sighing with relief before climbing out of the half-dug grave to grab his water bottle. Cas followed suit and they both stared up at the clear night sky before leaning back against poor Lyman’s gravestone.

Dean felt a curious tugging in his midsection, and glanced over at Cas to see Cas grabbing Dean’s wrist before everything went dark.

*******

Dean came to some indeterminate amount of time later, sprawled out on the ground with Cas on top of him. They locked eyes for a moment, and then Cas rolled off of him.

“Where are we?” Dean asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “And what happened?”

“Some sort of spell, I’m guessing,” Cas said, looking around. “I think we’re still in the graveyard--those trees over there have the same Y shape.”

“But Lyman’s gravestone is gone.”

“Which means...” Cas pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed it to Dean. “No service. I think we’ve time traveled.”

“Well, shit. What are we supposed to do?” Dean stood up and stretched, looking in the direction of the cemetery’s parking lot. “The Impala is gone!”

“Well, it probably wasn’t here in...whatever year we’re in. Come on.” Before Dean could protest, Cas was grabbing him by the wrist again and dragging him off.

Much of the area around the graveyard looked similar, if a little older. At the first open shop they got to, a diner, Cas went inside and talked to the lady at the counter before coming out clutching a newspaper.

March 24, 1986.

“Isn’t this the day before that Lyman guy died?” Dean asked.

“Yes. Which makes me think we were sent here for a reason. But why?” Cas tilted his head as he looked up at the sky as if it would get him answers.

Dean stared at the newspaper in Cas’ hands. “Hey, Cas, why did Lyman die, again?”

“The police record said it was a drunk driving accident, that he hit a telephone pole.”

“Gimme that.” Dean took the newspaper out of Cas’ hand and leafed through it. “Here, the obits.” He pointed at a picture of a young girl. The obituary read:

Helen Jones passed away from leukemia on March 20th. She was a student at Xavier Elementary School and attended St. Luke’s Catholic Church. She is survived by her father, Lyman Jones.

“I think Lyman was distraught about his daughter’s death and got trashed,” Dean said.

“Maybe his soul is still in distress because of the circumstances of his death.”

“Yeah, dude probably had major regrets.” Dean turned to the diner. “Come with me.”

“What are we doing?” Cas asked.

“Well, I was alive in the eighties, you weren't. Well, I mean--you were, but you weren’t down here. If you want to call someone, they’re always in the phone book.” Dean pointed at his pocket. “No cell phones.”

Cas followed Dean into the diner, where they asked the same lady Cas had talked to if they could see a phone book. Dean flipped to the Js and ran his finger down the page until he found Lyman Jones, 408-524-7831.

“Can you remember that?” Dean asked Cas. One of them could have typed it into the notes app on their phone, but he didn’t want to freak anyone out. Cas nodded. Dean flipped through the book again--he had an idea of what they could say when they called Lyman. “Memorize this one, too,” Dean said, reading the number out to Cas.

They thanked the woman at the diner and found a payphone a couple of blocks away. Luckily, Dean’s wallet was still in his pocket and it had some quarters in it, so he slid them into the receiver and waited. Lyman’s answering machine picked up.

“Hi Mr. Jones, it’s....Dean Smith with Helping Hands Grief Counseling. We just wanted to extend our services to you. If you’re interested in setting up an appointment, you can contact us at 408-563-9812. Have a nice day!” Dean hung up the receiver to catch Cas staring at him. “What?” Dean said. “Maybe dude will get a handle on his grief instead of getting fucking wasted and dying.”

“Maybe you should take the advice you gave him,” Cas replied, tilting his head and smiling sadly.

“I--Cas--c’mon,” Dean sputtered, turning and marching back in the direction of the graveyard. “I want to go back to our decade.”

When they got back to the graveyard, there was a man standing at a gravestone a few yards away from the empty plot where Lyman Jones’ grave was supposed to be. As Dean and Cas walked behind him, Dean caught a glimpse of the name on the stone.

Helen Jones, April 11, 1975--March 20, 1986.

So this was Lyman Jones.

The man--Lyman--stooped to set the bouquet of yellow flowers he was holding on the grave, and then turned around and nearly ran face-first into Dean. Lyman’s face was riddled with tear tracks.

“Sorry,” Dean said hurriedly. “Are you alright?”

Lyman smiled at him weakly. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Dean glanced down at the flowers on the little girl’s grave, and then back up at Lyman, before making a split-second decision. “I hope this isn’t too...forward,” Dean said, “But when I was a kid, my mom died. And I spent a long time trying to do...a lot of things that weren’t great to get rid of that pain. I’ve learned recently it’s better to try and work your way through it.”

“Thank you,” Lyman said, looking surprisingly not angry. “I hope you have a nice day.”

When Dean turned around, Cas was staring at him in that peculiar way again. “Shut up,” Dean said.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were about to, though.” Dean frowned. “How do you think we get home?”

They tried standing over Lyman’s future (past?) grave, touching Helen’s gravestone, and a whole host of other things before Dean collapsed onto the grass, groaning. It was starting to get dark and cold, like it had been when Dean and Cas were digging up the grave in their own time.

“I have an idea,” Cas said.

“Hit me,” Dean said, blinking up at him.

“If Lyman’s soul regretted the way it died and we helped him get rid of those regrets by preventing his death, maybe we need to make sure we don’t have any regrets.”

“Hm.” Dean knew what his biggest regret was these days--never telling Cas how he felt--but he wasn’t gonna admit that.

Or was he?

“I can go first,” Cas continued. “If that would make you more comfortable.”

What would make Dean more comfortable would be never spilling his guts to Cas, but Dean nodded.

“I--” Cas started, and then cut himself off before kneeling on the ground next to Dean and bending over. Before Dean could process what, exactly, was happening, Cas was pressing his lips against Dean’s, kissing him, and Dean was kissing him back, and--

“Oof!” Dean exclaimed as his back slammed into the ground. Cas fell on top of him, once again, and Dean pushed him off, scrambling up to look around. There was the Impala. There was Helen’s grave, but Lyman’s was gone. There were the same Y-shaped trees.

And Cas, at his feet, staring at him.

“We had the same regret, didn’t we?” Cas said in wonder.

“I, uh...I guess so. C’mon.” Dean pulled Cas up by the hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

And if, when they got back to the car, they ended up making out before heading back to the motel, well...that was his and Cas’ business.

#long post #destiel #spn #ficlet #time travel #offbeatwrites

15 notes · View notes

less-intelligent-spencerreid · 4 years

Text

The Sitter-One

Hotch x gender neutral!Reader

Warnings: No

A collab with the very talented and wonderful @flightsoffandom

****=time skip

Tag List: @icantswimhalp @hommoturttle

A note: I’m on the mobile app so I’m sorry for any weird formatting.

————————

It was almost one in the morning and you were sitting on the couch watching your favorite movie. You heard the front door click open. You reached over and grabbed the remote to pause it before getting up to meet Aaron at the door.

“Hey y/n, how was he?”

“He was wonderful as always Aaron, how was the case?”

“Better than most.”

“That’s good.”

He walked to Jack's room and disappeared inside.

You neatly placed your stuff in the bag you brought and got ready to go home. As you stood, Aaron came back into the living room.

“I’m going to head home Aaron. I know you probably haven’t eaten much today so there’s leftovers in the fridge on a plate for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that y/n but thank you. Goodnight.”

“You’re welcome. Goodnight.” You replied getting ready to walk out the door.

“Let me know when you get home please, so I know you get home safe.”

“I will.” You smiled as you turned away. He was always the dutiful protector of everyone.

****

Twenty minutes later you were at home. You texted Aaron, “I’m at home.”

His reply came back within seconds, “Thanks for letting me know.”

You plugged your phone in and went to sleep.

****2 days later

You were trying to decide what you wanted for lunch when your phone rang. It was Aaron.

“Hey. Another case already?”

“Fortunately no, and since it’s Saturday I have the day off so Jack and I get to spend the day together.”

“That’s great Aaron. So, what’s up?”

“Well, Jack told me you guys were planning on having a picnic today. I told him we could go together and he asked if you could come. I told him you probably had plans but I would ask. So, if you don’t, we would love for you to join us.”

You smiled, “I don’t have any plans and I was actually just trying to figure out what I was going to do for lunch. As long as you truly don’t mind me crashing your day with your son, I would love to come. Do you want me to bring anything?”

“No, we have everything and of course I don’t mind. Meet us at his favorite park in 30 minutes?”

“Sounds good.”

****

The first thing you did when you got to the park was to start looking for Aaron and Jack. Having to use your hand to keep the sun out of your eyes as you scanned for them. It took you a minute but you spotted the father and son sitting under a tree near the edge of the park. You walked over to the pair. Once you were only a few feet away Jack saw you and immediately ran over.

Jack grabbed your hand, “I helped make the sandwiches.”

You let the little boy lead you by the hand as you smile, “I bet you did a great job. I’m excited to eat them.”

When you got to the edge of the blanket that had been laid out, you were able to see the whole set up. The blanket had a repetitive superhero pattern, showing that Jack picked it out. It was just big enough for the three of you. In place of the typical picnic basket was an insulated bag. It wasn’t over the top but it was perfect. Aaron was already sitting on the blanket. He was wearing casual clothes which you rarely saw him in. The bags that were normally under Aaron’s eyes were almost nonexistent. Relaxed was a good look on him. Jack let go of your hand and you sat down opposite Aaron.

Aaron smiled at you, “I’m glad you could join us.” He reached into the bag and started pulling out the sandwiches.

Jack eagerly took the food from his dad, “We waited till you got here cause its rude to eat without you.” Jack looked up at you as he started eating.

“Such a proper little gentleman.” You smiled back at the two of them, “Thank you both very much.” You gently messed with Jack’s hair.

You got your sandwich next and with that lunch started. The three of you enjoyed eating, taking your time. When you finished eating you took a minute to just enjoy the weather. You leaned back savoring the cool shade and the gentle breeze.

“Can I go play Dad?” Jack asked excitedly.

“Of course you can bud.” Aaron replied with a smile.

You watched him run off to play before turning to face Aaron.

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thank you for coming y/n, Jack loves having you around and I enjoy your company.”

You smiled at him. You were about to reply when Jack grabbed both of your attention.

“Dad! Y/n! Come play with me!” He yelled enthusiastically.

“On our way!” Aaron yelled back as you both got up off of the blanket.

You both ran over and you chased Jack across the playground. You almost had him when he went down a slide. His dad grabbed him when Jack reached the bottom.

“Gotcha.” Aaron said, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, no fair,” Jack said with a huge grin on his face. “You guys have two people and I only have one.”

“You’re right Jack,” You replied laughing “It isn’t fair. I think we should do something about it, don’t you?”

“Yeah!”

Aaron looked at you both with confusion written on his face.

“Get him!” You yelled and all three of you took off running.

Once you were back by the blanket, Aaron let Jack catch him and they both fell to the ground laughing.

“Now I got you!” Jack yelled in delight.

“Yeah you do bud.” Aaron told him with a smile.

You just smiled at their antics and said, “Nice job Jack.”

You left the park soon after and went home. You have enjoyed spending time with Jack ever since Aaron hired you. Over time you had gotten closer with Jack and even became friends with Aaron along the way.

****2 days later

You rubbed your eyes as the sound of your phone ringing woke you up. The time on your alarm clock read 2:47 am. There was only one person you would answer the phone for at this hour. You groggily reach over and read the caller ID. It’s Aaron so of course, you answer.

“Aaron?” Is all you say.

“Hey, y/n, I’m really sorry to bother you at this hour but I got called in on a case. Could you come over now?”

“Yeah, of course,” you reply rolling out of bed “Do you want me to leave right now and grab my stuff tomorrow after I take Jack to school, or do I have time to pack some stuff?”

“If you can, now would be better, it’s an emergency.”

You knew he didn’t like to ask this much of you so you tried to sound as cheerful as possible, “I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

You were there in 15 and as soon as you got there Aaron quickly thanked you and rushed out the door. Just before leaving he said, “I’ll call tomorrow morning before you have to leave to get Jack to school. So that I can talk to him quickly. I don't want to wake him now.”

After he left you walked into the guest room and went back to sleep. Before you drifted off you noticed a folded pair of jeans and t-shirt that you accidentally left here last time. Aaron must have washed them for you. You were glad you had something to wear tomorrow.

#Collab #cm #criminal minds fanfiction #the sitter #Hotch x reader #gender neutral #Aaron Hotch we

90 notes · View notes

ginny-rose-sixx · 4 years

Text

Panic! At The Airport

Summary: You and Axl are going to visit your family. You flew out one week earlier by yourself so that you could have time with just your twin sisters. Now you are going to pick Axl up at the airport.

Pairing: Axl Rose x Gender Neutral Reader

Words: 2083

Warnings: graphic depiction of a panic attack, swearing

*Edited March 6th 2021* I adjusted things here and there to change this so that it was a gender neutral reader.

A/N: This is not set in any particular era. Therefore, there may be some elements that seem anachronistic. Also, I have been in a slump with my main story “What the Fork?” (found on WattPad and AO3). This idea came to me at work and I just HAD to write it. It feels good to have written something.

At work I saw a meme describing panic attacks vs anxiety (at the end of the post). Then, I had been thinking about how long it has been since I have had a panic attack. I also thought of the panic attack that got me to realize that I needed to get professional help. I had to pick my boyfriend up from work. My friend was with me and when we got to the parking lot, the only open spots were handicap spaces, spaces for executives, and spaces for law enforcement. I’d had a panic attack and my friend helped me through it.

Panic attacks can be scary, and it can feel as if you’re having a heart attack. If you suffer from panic attacks and want someone to talk to, please, feel free to reach out to me any time.

*******

You had no idea why you chose to fly out a week earlier than Axl to spend time with just your twin sisters. The twins were bickering, the airport was packed, and the distance from Axl was weighing heavily on your mind. You were in your sister’s Prius trying to find a space to park and Axl’s flight was supposed to be touching down in 20 minutes.

It was too early to pull up to the doors where passengers exit, and the waiting lot was full. The only open space that you could see was a handicap space. As cars piled up behind you, panic started to rise. Your skin felt tingly and as if bugs were crawling all over you. As you drove in circles your body started to tense up. A sharp, stabbing pain suddenly came in your right shoulder where it met your neck. You paused for a moment and checked the pockets of your discarded coat for your Xanax but only found an empty bottle. *Fuck, the extra bottle is in my suitcase.* Then you looked at your smart watch and saw that the heart rate monitor app showed your heart was beating at 138 beats per minute and it was still climbing. With your whole body tensing up, your chest was constricting. Breathing was getting difficult and you were starting to hyperventilate. You had tears starting to fall and the panic was rapidly increasing.

Then, thankfully, a car in front of you pulled out. You focused on just getting into the space. Without bothering to park the car you hit the power button. The car stopped and automatically parked. The feeling of panic was not gone yet. You looked at your watch and saw that you were now at 151 bpm. When you noticed the time, a choked sob ripped from your throat. Axl’s plane would touch down in mere minutes.

When you saw the cars backed up behind you, you realized there was no way you could leave the space. Panic then snapped and flashed through every fiber of your being. You were suddenly slammed with an increase in your symptoms: throat constricting, hyperventilation, sobbing, nausea, chills, and paranoia.

Feeling confined and trapped by the steering wheel, you scrambled into the back seat. You curled up into the fetal position and started to scratch at scabs on your legs and arms as you rocked back and forth. The sobbing and hyperventilating were making it difficult to breathe. Your thoughts were racing. *Would Axl think that you had left him? Would he think you forgot? Am I dying? Would he hate you? Why would anyone want me, let alone him? I’m having a fucking breakdown over parking spaces.* Similar thoughts kept racing through your mind. Time and the outside world held no meaning. You did not even realize that your phone was almost constantly ringing.

*** Earlier in the plane ***

“Please put your seats in their upright positions and fasten your seat belts. We will be beginning our descent shortly.”

Axl was already sitting up so he fastened his seat belt. Axl took out his phone and smiled at his lock screen. The picture was one of his favorites; you were beaming down at a tiny tabby kitten that you held cradled to your chest. He opened his phone to shoot off a text to let you know that the plane was descending. He shut his screen off and put his phone in his carry-on bag.

This past week without being able to hold you in his arms was rough. It didn’t help that you were halfway across the country from each other either. Phone calls and texts only went so far. As much as you tried to deny it, Axl knew that you were tense and something was eating at you. He was almost wondering if you were mad at him. He couldn’t think of what might have gone wrong. You had seemed so happy and care free when he dropped you off at the airport last week. He kept pushing those thoughts to the back of his head, and telling himself that everything would be fine once he laid eyes on you.

By the time the plane landed, he was pretty keyed up by his thoughts. Axl was thankful for being in first class, because it meant he was one of the first people off of the plane. He looked around for you for a few moments, before he realized that you would have to wait by the doors for him. He grabbed his phone out of his carry-on and looked at his notifications. There was nothing except a notification from his weather app stating that it was 70°F and partly cloudy. Axl shot off a text to let you know that he was headed to the baggage claim area. He huffed and shoved his phone into his jacket pocket.

Axl slung his carry-on over his shoulder and made sure that his hair was still hidden beneath his hat and underneath his leather jacket. He didn’t want to stick out as he made his way through the airport to the baggage claim area. Axl followed the signs and looked for the conveyor belt that his suitcase would be on. Once he got to the right conveyor belt, he pulled his phone out while he waited.

A frown formed on Axl’s face when he saw that it had been 20 minutes since he texted that he was landing. You still had not replied. You hadn’t even read the messages. He clicked the call button and listened to it just ring and ring. Once he heard your voice mail recording, he started to get pissed. “Y/N, what the hell?! Where the fuck are you? Ugh, I’m grabbing my bag and I’ll be at the pick-up doors.” Axl growled angrily and lowly into the phone.

Axl shoved his phone back into his jacket once he saw his suitcase. He kept his head down as he grabbed his bags and made his way to the exit. He got outside and looked every which way and there was no sign of you. He didn’t even have a clue what car you were supposed to be driving. Axl waited impatiently. He was pacing back and forth and tried to call you three times in a row. As the people and cars cleared, his anger slowly dissipated, and he started to worry. After most of the people from his flight were picked up, Axl pulled his phone up and he called one of your sisters.

“Hey it’s Axl. Where’s Y/N? It’s been 40 minutes.” he didn’t bother with pleasantries.

Your sister was immediately worried, “What do you mean?! Y/N left for the airport a little over an hour and a half ago. It only takes a half an hour to get there!”

Axl’s eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks and looked around for signs of a waiting lot, “Damnit! Fuck! What kinda car did Y/N drive here?”

“Y/N took my Prius. It’s black and has a shitload of bumper stickers on the back. You’ll know it when you-“

Axl saw the Prius in the distance and cut your sister off, “I see it! Thanks!” He hung up without saying goodbye.

He shoved his phone back into his jacket, grabbed his bags and ran to the car. He was worried when he could not see anyone in the car as he ran to it. Once Axl reached the car, he looked into the back seat. He dropped his bags and swore under his breath. He tried the car door and it wasn’t locked. He went to slowly open the door.

You were curled up on your side. You were still trembling and hyperventilating. Your heart and thoughts were racing. *I shouldn’t be here. I should have stayed at home with Axl. No! No! He’s gonna be mad! I know he’s fed up with me. Hell, I’m sick of this! I need to get out of here. I need Axl. I can’t do this. I can’t.* The soft noise of the door opening seemed sudden and loud as if a gun went off. It startled you and you scrambled away from the open door and pressed yourself against the opposite door. When you saw Axl, you shouted and started to mumble “no" over and over again.

Once Axl saw the look of pure terror on your face, his heart shattered. He had to remind himself to tread carefully. He hadn’t ever seen you have this bad of a panic attack. Axl took a deep breath and crouched down outside of the car. He spoke slowly and softly, “Hey there angel. Can I sit in the car with you?”

You nodded once and pressed yourself further into the far door.

Axl sighed, “One sec angel, I’m gonna put my bags in the trunk. I’ll be right back.” When you didn’t respond he just stood up and picked his carry-on and suitcase up off of the ground. Once he had loaded his bags into the trunk, he slowly climbed into the back seat and shut the door. He saw that you had your eyes screwed shut and he thought for a moment before starting to sing softly.

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you

I'm still alright to smile

Dear, I think about you every day now

Was a time when I wasn't sure

But you set my mind at ease

There is no doubt you're in my heart now

Said "angel take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine"

All we need is just a little patience

Said "sugar make it slow and we'll come together fine"

All we need is just a little patience

Without looking at him you reached out a hand to Axl. He paused and slowly took your hand. He leaned forward and pressed his soft lips to your palm in a sweet kiss. He laced his fingers together with yours before he continued to sing.

You squeezed his hand and started to breathe slowly. Your breaths started out shaky as they slowed. With Axl’s hand grounding you, you focused on counting as you breathed. *In, 1, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4* You repeated that over and over. As you controlled your breathing, you stopped trembling and your heart rate slowed.

By the time Axl finished singing, you had sat up and were looking at him. Axl smiled widely at you and said, “Hey there angel. Do you feel a little better?”

You looked down at your entwined hands and smiled sadly, “Ax I'm so sor-"

Using his free hand, Axl put his fore finger to your lips to cut off your apology. “Y/N, sweetheart, once I talked to your sister, I was so worried about you. It’s a good thing that this car is so easy to spot.” He paused to take a shaky breath, “I didn’t care about the wait. I only cared about whether or not you were safe. I don’t even want to think about what I'd do if you were hurt.”

You smiled at him sweetly and moved closer to him. “All the same, I’m still sorry about the worry that I caused. I was just so tense already from the twins arguing with each other constantly. When I got here it was packed and there were cars everywhere. I started to panic, but I forgot my extra meds in my suitcase. Luckily, a space opened up and I was able to park before the worst hit me.”

Axl placed his free hand on your cheek and slowly ran his thumb along your cheek bone. “I wish I had been here with you angel. I missed you so much and I love you even more.”

You closed your eyes and pressed your cheek into his warm touch. You smiled and hummed happily.

A smile spread slowly across Axl’s face. His eyes fell to your lips and he started to lean in slowly. As his face got closer to yours, he could smell the faint strawberry scent of your shampoo. His eyes fell shut just before he pressed his lips softly to yours.

You let out a soft squeak when you felt Axl’s soft lips against yours. As your lips moved together, the spice of his cologne and the faint scent of leather filled your nostrils. Warmth finally spread throughout your chest.

Finally, you were calm.

At last, you felt at home.

#axl rose x reader #axl rose x you #imagine #fanfic #axl rose imagine #reader insert #reader #gnr #axl #axl rose #hurt/comfort #anxitey #panic attack #gender neutral reader #axl rose x gender neutral reader #gn!reader #axl rose x gn!reader

78 notes · View notes

mermaidcashton · 4 years

Text

i hate to admit it

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship: michael clifford/reader prompt/AU: this is a gift for the wonderful @h0tsos who wanted soft, subby Michael in an enemies to lovers capacity (and i snuck some coffee shop!au in there as well, and some weebness because, well, it’s Steff and Michael) wordcount: 4k+ warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (which was a gift exchange this time around) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘this means war’ by mariana’s trench • ‘my hero academia’ is a manga/anime series. there are references to it and a few of the characters in this but you don’t need to know anything about it to understand what’s going on.

i hate to admit it *** “So, they’re like...superheroes?”

Luke sipped on his glass of rosé, nodding like he understood whilst making a face that showed he absolutely did not.

“Yeah, dude, pretty much!” Michael nodded along with your co-worker with so much enthusiasm he looked like one of those dogs people put on their dashboards. Except less cute. Wait, no - not cute. Definitely not cute at all. Good save, you. Couldn’t have your own internal monologue thinking you felt anything for the moron you were forced to work with 3 times a week was anything more than an annoyance you had to endure. With a butt that wouldn’t quit. Dammit, self!

Michael took advantage of Luke showing an interest in his (and yours) favourite anime, and began bombarding him with half baked theories, predictable favourite scenes and shitty character analysis. He nearly knocked his own hat off as he flailed his hands around in an attempt at explaining the dynamics of a battle from the second season. Luke smiled politely.

You snorted into your drink as you drained the last of it; you were definitely going to need another. If Michael started fanboying over Deku again, you were going to scream.

As you placed the empty bottle onto the wood of the coffee table, you took another glance around the apartment you were in. You’d never been up here before, despite spending a minimum of 20 hours a week in the coffee shop downstairs. But after this evening’s staff meeting tackling such issues as ‘who forgot that milk needs to be kept in the fridge overnight’ (Luke), ‘who is putting too much whipped cream on hot chocolates’ (Michael), and ‘who wrote ‘THIS COFFEE IS HOT, BUT U R HOTTER ❤ ) on a customers caramel macchiato’ (Luke again), Ashton had invited you all upstairs for a ‘employee chill’. You had been surprised a week or so into your employment when you had found out that the manager was also the owner who lived in the apartment above Screamin’ Beans; he was only in his mid twenties, but the more you’d experienced his drive and determination, the more your surprise had dwindled. Ashton really was a great guy, with one big flaw; Michael. They had been best friends for years, hence him moving into the apartment when he came back into town and the job Ashton had given him; which in your humble opinion was the equivalent of setting a monkey loose on the milk frother.

Michael had sealed his fate with you the same day he’d started work. He arrived 10 minutes late (from upstairs), sleepy eyed and shy smiled. His fluffy blonde hair was spilling out of his beanie, and he kept biting his very pink lip bottom with sharp little teeth. The way he pronounced your name was adorable. You’d burned your hand on the espresso machine. Strike one. Things unravelled quickly after that. He was ‘too shy’ to take orders and work the register so you were stuck there all day talking to goddamn customers about why it wasn’t a good idea to have 3 pumps of every syrup while he hid behind silver machinery and dirtied way more jugs than you deemed necessary. Strike two. And then he’d dropped a latté into that ladies bag - sorry, very expensive bag. Michael had let out a ‘uuuhhh’ sound like a malfunctioning robot without moving for so long that the furious customer had stopped trying to yell at him and focused her rage on you instead. When he had eventually come to whatever passed for his senses, Michael had power walked into the employee bathroom and didn’t return until Calum arrived to join the shift and assured him the woman had left, twenty minute later. You were beyond strikes. You’d been so sure you could talk Ashton into scheduling you together as little as possible. There was no reason to put you down to work nearly every shift together, especially shifts where only two staff were on! Except, apparently there was because he kept fucking doing it. Every time you pressed Ashton on it, he’d say something about how he needed Michael ‘trained by the best’, or ‘matching availabilities’, or he thought their ‘energies combined well; auras are meshing, y’know?’ The one might have been on you for catching him as he was returning from his Vibe Check Yoga class at the studio down the street.

He’d also emphasised that Michael needed more friends now he was back in the city, and you two had loads in common! You both liked pop punk! You’d rolled your eyes. And Italian food! A ‘tch noise. And anime! Okay, you’d bite.

The next time you’d gone into work, you’d engaged Michael in a conversation about ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and recommended ‘Demon Slayer’; things started to pick up. You didn’t fantasise about locking Michael in the walk-in fridge the whole shift. And then…

��You watch ‘My Hero Academia’, right?” “Uh, yeah! I love it.” “Me too! I just ordered a Todoroki tee yesterday. And another Deku one, of course; gotta rep my main man!” “Oh..cool! He’s your favourite?” Of course Michael was a basic bitch. But hey, that’s fine. Deku was fine. He was the main character, after all. And he’s a little less whiny in the recent manga issues, you guess. And the way Michael’s face was right now - open, comfortable, lit up like the 4th of July? That was good, too. His eyes were so green. “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character?” “Well, I would die for a bunch of ‘em, but I’m a Bakugou girl at heart.” You laid a palm flat on your chest, choosing to ignore the feel of your heart beating faster than it had been five minutes ago beneath it. Michael wrinkled his nose. “Bakugou? But he’s like...he’s so mean! And angry!”

Oh no. You’d had this conversation before. You locked eyes with Michael, hoping he could see the warning in your eyes. Don’t do it, ho.

“Like, he’d probably make a better villain than hero!”

“You okay, boo?” Calum slid into the space on the couch beside you, holding out a fresh beer for you to take. “You look deep in thought.”

You hummed and accepted the bottle from him, letting go of your train of thought as you caught sight of Luke trying to prove he could get his overly long leg behind his head. Michael and Ashley F. were both actively trying to avoid getting kicked in the face with a sparkly boot, whilst Ashton was just monitoring the situation very intently; you’re not entirely sure when he last blinked.

You snorted again as Luke’s foot slotted into place in a position you were 85% sure he would not be able to get out of again without assistance, possibly from the emergency services.

“I’m fine. Gotta be one of us capable of thinking here, y’know.” You teased, looking sidelong at Calum. He laughed, rubbing a hand over his freshly shaved hair; he’d always been as easy to get along with as he was obnoxiously handsome. “Hey! You’re lucky I know you’re talking about the human pretzel over there! And I guess, your boyf-” Big brown eyes glittered at you over the hand you’d slapped over his mouth. “-fwendth.” Narrowing your own eyes at your friend, you hissed. “Shut up! I would rather die.” Calum waggled his eyebrows incessantly at you until you relented and dropped your hand. “You knew who I was talking about, though.” Ugh. Smug was not a good look on Calum. “You know, smug is not a good lo-oh fuck, is that the time?” The clock behind Calum’s head showed 8:58; your auction ended at 9:00. You fumbled into your bag for your phone, unlocking it and flicking straight to the app you needed. Phew - still the top bid. “Whatcha doin’?” Calum hooked his chin over your shoulder, blowing your hair out of his face before settling down.

“Bidded on a really cool, limited edition figure. One of my all time favourite anime characters. The auction is about to end.” You explained, making sure Calum could hear you other the cacophony of sounds associated with Luke trying to get his other leg behind his head. You both watched the seconds tick down, your username sitting securely by the words ‘Winning Bid’. At two seconds to nine, the page refreshed, then refreshed again; it was over.

‘Winning Bid: BIGRED69’ “Uh...what happened? That’s not you, right?” Calum asked, tilting his head to look at your face, and the rage it contained. BIGRED69. He’d done it again.

“Uh oh, Y/N - what’s wrong?” Ashton’s voice pulled you out of your internal screaming, and you looked up at him.

“She’s losing her weeb shit at a heavy eBay loss” Calum answered for you, nodding solemnly as he pulled away from you, giving you room to bonk him with a cushion. “Oh! That’s too bad, but that’s another thing you and Mikey have in common!” Ashton beamed. “Mikey!” Oh no. Oh no, no.

“Yeah?” Michael sloped over, getting his black boot caught on the corner of the leopard print rug as he did. Ashton caught him with an ease you suspected (knew) came from practice. “Why don’t you take Y/N to see your anime dolls? She collects them, too!” Ashton looked so pleased with himself and his suggestion for further ‘bonding’ for you and Michael, and Michael looked like he’d been force fed raw lemon at the phrase ‘anime dolls’, so you let it go on your own behalf. Except now Michael was waiting expectantly for you to follow him to his room and Calum was shoving you off of the couch to get you moving. Fuck your life. You sighed as you got up and started walking. “Fine, let’s go; you can show me your Todoroki body pillow and then we can get on with our lives.” Michael let out a small hiss like an angry kitten, his cheeks colouring a pretty pink. He spared a glance at everyone left in your wake. “I, um, don’t have a body pillow, you guys.” “Suuuuure!” You rolled your eyes, waiting for Michael to enter his bedroom so you could follow. The blonde flicked the light on and moved slightly further in so you could pass him, before shutting the door with a small ‘click’. You decided not to comment on this action, looking around at the posters on the walls and figurines on the shelves instead. You were undecided on whether or not you were going to comment on how cool a lot of Michael’s shit was. A ‘Full Metal Alchemist’ poster over his bed, a full shelf of Funko Pops from movies you loved, framed prints of album artwork by Waterparks and The Maine. Fuck. You were really aware of Michael staring at you with an almost hopeful (?) look on his face as you let your eyes travel around his room before he could show you his ‘anime dolls’. Fuck. Your stomach felt fluttery, and you thought you might have a serious problem here, before you caught sight of a very different problem on Michael’s desk.

A rare Kirishima Eijirou statue - box signed by the voice actor - you’d been outbid on last month. By BIGRED69. What were the chances a different one was sitting by Michael’s laptop?

“So,” You said, trying to keep your voice neutral and non-murderous. “Where do you get your collectibles from?” “Forbidden Planet, Tokyo Toys, eBay…” Michael rattled off, until you interrupted him. “Where did you get that one? Looks rare - it must have been difficult!”

“Oh! eBay! It was, but I have an app for it, so…” Michael grinned, looking pleased with himself. An app? “An automatic bidding app? You sniped me?! That’s cheating!” You squeaked; you could not believe this. It was unbelievable.

Michael blinked at you, head empty. “BIGRED69?!” You managed to make the world’s stupidest screen name sound like a terrible accusation. Which it was.

Comprehension dawned on his stupid, beautiful face all at once. “Oh my God! That was you that I’ve been fighting for this stuff? No way! But you didn’t know it was me?”

“Why the hell would I know it was you!” You threw your hands up, and Michael just stared dopily back at you.

“‘Bigred69?! Obviously I assumed you were 12!” Michael let out a squawk of protest, before folding his arms defensively across his chest.

“Clifford!” “What?” Michael’s tone became more insistent. “My last name! Clifford!” You pulled an exaggerated ‘so?!’ face, throwing your hand in the air again.

Michael had the unmitigated gall to huff, like you were the biggest idiot in the room; like he wasn’t always the biggest idiot in every room, all rooms, ever, in the history of rooms. “Clifford the Big Red Dog!” He said, insistence heavy in the words.

You often swore you could almost hear the old internet dial up tone trilling inside Michael’s brain when customers at the coffee shop asked him such difficult questions as “What dairy alternative milks do you carry?”, “Where is the bathroom?”, and even once - you swear - “What’s your name?”. In Michael’s defence, that last one had been asked in more flirtatious-than-not tone by a brunette who clearly had some kind of vision problem (he’d been dressed more horrendously than usual that day beneath his uniform apron; was that a utility vest?!), but had fluttered her eyelashes at your idiot colleague so hard, for so long, you’d been concerned she’d be leaving without what little vision she’d arrived with. But still. Idiot. Michael, not you. And yet, now it was you with your brain puttering through the information you had with the shrill electronic sound of the 90’s in your head. “Clifford the- are you for fucking real?” This could not be real life.

“It’s totally clever!” Michael asserted, continuing in earnest once you scoffed in reply. “No, listen! Because of Clifford, and also, I had red hair when I made it, and 69 is funny - it is! - and, well-” His face flushed slightly before he puffed his chest out a little, apparently deciding to commit to his defence of his screen name. “I’m big, so it works on like, loads of levels!”

This could not be happening to you. You were decidedly not standing in the bedroom of a coworker you simultaneously couldn’t stand and also couldn’t stop thinking about kissing as you restocked the counter fridges in the evenings, as he explained that his auction site handle was a combination of a previous dye job, an insinuation about his dick and a massive fucking dog. You could not let Michael have the upper hand here, but you were floundering. So you fell into more familiar, more pathetic territory.

“If you were called something like ‘deku-loving-loser’, then, sure - I would have known it was you!” “Who’s 12 now?!” “Uh, still you!” Okay, so this wasn’t your finest moment, but you were in it now. And you’d really wanted the Kaminari figure tonight. Michael didn’t even like him that much!

“The point is, you totally sniped me! And you get stuff about basic canon wrong! And your understanding of the characters is one dimensional! And, and...your hat is stupid!” Well, shit. In your defence, Michael’s hat was stupid. You could feel how hot your face was, and Michael’s eyes looking right at it was only making it worse. You couldn’t read his expression at all; he looked like he was searching for something, and you didn’t know what it was, or if he’d find it. You could only assume he had when he took the most decisive steps you’d ever seen him take, reaching you in two huge steps and cupping your face with both hands. Michael kissed in a way he didn’t do anything else; he felt sure and certain as he pressed his lips to yours, moving them with intent. Your brain became overtaken with television static almost immediately as you moved your mouth in time with his, opening your mouth immediately at the questioning press of his tongue. You had enough of yourself left aware to yank his stupid fucking hat off his head as you tangled your fingers in his blonde hair, Michael’s hands sliding down to clutch at your waist as you swayed with the kiss. As Michael pulled back ever so slightly, you took the opportunity to press your teeth into his plush bottom lip, the way you’d thought of doing in afternoon slumps on shift. The whine that came from deep in Michael’s throat made a split second decision for you.

You pulled back further from Michael, yanking your top off in one go and starting in on the buttons of his black shirt before he fully registered the sight of your bra and the top of your full breasts.

“Shit, Y/N, are you…” Michael trailed off as you pulled his sleeves down his arms, and the shirt off this body. Your eyes met his as you popped the button on his black jeans and placed your hand on his zipper. “Do you really want me to overthink this, Michael?” A moment’s pause, then he shook his head vigorously, leaning down to pull his boots off once you’d yanked his jeans to his knees. By the time he was left in his (funnily enough, black) boxer briefs, you’d discarded your own jeans and were knelt at the foot of his bed in your soft, lilac underwear. Michael’s breath hitched as his gaze drifted down your body, taking it all in under the artificial light of the room. “Get over here, Clifford…” You teased, trying not to second guess what was happening. Michael broke out of his trance and more or less threw himself onto the bed, settling his head on the pillows and pulling you on top of him for another kiss, and then another, and another. By the time you pulled back to catch your breath, your head was spinning. You braced yourself on your forearms on the bed, taking the time to admire Michael’s body beneath you.

You’d seen the tattoos on his pale, strong arms before, but they looked different in this context; the contrast between the milky skin and dark ink made your stomach swoop. The blonde hair on his head is also a contradiction; to the dark hair on his chest and the hair trailing down his stomach and disappearing under his waistband. Your mouth felt very dry as you let your gaze continue downward, to the straining bulge beneath the fabric.

You flicked your eyes back to meet Michael’s in question, your fingers suddenly resting on the waistband of his underwear. Michael swallowed thickly, and then nodded once before fixing you with a gaze of pure anticipation.

No use waiting around. You propped yourself up onto your knees over him and pulled on the fabric decisively, not stopping your motion until his underwear bunched up at his ankles. Holy shit.

You always knew Michael had to have at least one redeeming quality, and you’d finally found it. His cock was huge, hanging heavy and hard between his fuzzy thighs. The head was flushed the darkest pink you could ever remember seeing, and the slit was already shiny with precum.

If a voice in your head that sounded unfortunately like Calum pressed that Michael had lots of qualities you secretly found redeeming, you ignored it in favour of getting straight to business.

“FUCK! FUCKIN-”

Apparently, Michael hadn’t been prepared for you to take half of his impressive length into your mouth in one go. You sucked with intent, casting your eyes up to take in the sight of him. His pupils were already starting to blow, and you’d barely done anything. God, that was so sweet.

But then Michael threaded his fingers through your hair, his hand pressing ever so slightly into your scalp. The blonde wasn’t pushing down, but his grip was firm. You could feel the weight of his hand on the top of your head as you held his cock in your mouth, and that shit? Would not stand.

You grab the wrist brushing your hair a second before your other hand finds his idle one, fingers twisted loosely in the sheets. Once you’ve captured both wrists, you guide both to the same point above Michael’s hips, before slamming both into the mattress with purpose.

If you’d had time to think about it, you’re not sure how you would have expected Michael to react. He didn’t really put out the energy of a man who’d properly fight you for control, either in a domineering way or with more of an air of fragile masculinity. Perhaps a bit of questioning but ultimately compliant as long as he got his dick sucked. But the wanton moan that kicked out of Michael’s chest as you settled into a tight grip on his wrists where you had them pinned on the sheets with intent? That was unexpected. That was interesting.

Your mouth had remained still on his cock whilst you got his wrists pinned down, more cockwarming him than blowing him. But now you had him so pliant and under your control, it was go time. You pulled back up his cock, wrapping your lips tightly around the head of Michael’s cock, and sucked with gusto. Another groan from above you. You worked your tongue all the way around the head before pulling back enough to flick it into Michael’s sensitive slit. “Oh my fuuu- Y/N, God, I-” Michael was starting to writhe, his hairy legs rubbing into the sheets beneath you. You could feel his wrists moving along with the rest of his body, but you knew you’d made it clear you’d wanted him pinned, and he made no move to get his hand free. Good boy. You sank steadily back down Michael’s length, at least to the six inch mark, before pulling back up, hollowing your cheeks as you went. Back down a little further, then up, back to teasing the head, using your tongue. Michael couldn’t predict what you were going to do next, and it was clearly pushing all of his buttons. You could taste the precum that his cock kept kicking out into your mouth and throat, and see the flush spreading down his neck. By the time you’d pulled, drool beginning to build at the sides of your mouth, Michael was a mess, moaning as much as he was breathing. This could get addictive, you thought to yourself as you let your mouth drop to his balls, and your thumbs press into the pulse points on his wrists. You hummed before you released his left ball from your mouth with a wet pop, and that’s when Michael started begging. “Please, please, Y/N, I wanna-” he panted, cutting himself off over and over. “You’re so beautiful, lemme- God, fuck, it feels so amazing, you’re- I’ve been good, I’ll do anything, please…”

You pretend to consider his pleas as you dragged your tongue over his right ball, dipping into all the creases and leaving them wet behind you. Drawing back up onto your knees, you released one of his wrists so you could push his sweaty blonde bangs back from where it was plastered to his forehead, drinking in the vision before you. His green eyes were nearly completely black, blown out with arousal. The sheen on the skin of his face and body made him glow. His lips were chapped from his teeth tugging on them, and the pink of the matched the flush spread from his cheeks down his chest. And the wrist you were no longer restraining hadn’t moved a centimeter, still pressed firmly to the mattress. Michael was a good boy. And you knew how to treat good boys. With no preamble, you took Michael back into the wet heat of your mouth, relaxing your throat and not stopping until your nose was buried in the soft thatch of trimmed hair on his crotch. You took a moment to situate yourself and enjoy the deep whines bursting out of Michael’s throat into the quiet of his bedroom, before you began to move again, swallowing around his cock. You saw his thighs begin to tremble to the side of you before you heard him speak. “Fuck, fuck, Y/N, please, I’m gonna-” You hummed as hard as you could, pushing Michael’s wrists with that little bit more force into the bed as you did. Michael let out his loudest whine yet - bordering on a sob- as he came, shooting down your throat as he writhed beneath you.

You swallowed everything he gave you, and when you were sure he was finished, you pulled off slowly, and gently, releasing his wrists as you stood back up on your knees.

Michael looked blissed out, staring dreamily up at you with bright, adoring eyes. He still was yet to move his hands. “Hey.” “Hi.” You smirked down at him. “I believe I heard something about you’d ‘do anything’?” You shot a quick glance at the figurine on his desk, and down at yourself. “I had some ideas…”

collab masterlist • my masterlist

#5sos writing collab #my writing #mermaidcashton #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #michael clifford #michael 5sos #michael clifford x reader #michael 5 sos x reader #5sos x reader #michael clifford fic #michael 5sos fic

51 notes · View notes

ivyglow · 4 years

Text

up all night | Mat Barza NYI

Author notes: So it’s my first piece here, hope you guys like it. If there are some grammar mistakes please tell me so I can fix it. Feedback always appreciated and requests are open.

Word count: 2.580 -sorry, I always get carried away-

Summary: y/n is the new and loud neighbor at the building, what can you expect from someone who listens to music like she does? Well, Mat Barzal wasn’t expecting too much until they start talking...

Opposite.

She was the opposite of everything people usually expect from a psychology student.

Y/n wasn’t even close to being a calm and centered person. In fact, she was agitated and always talking, still, she knew exactly the time to listen and pass some safe sensation to people around her, something that her friends loved.

She used to share an apartment with a British Music major but he had to go back home and so, Brianna, one of her classmates/best friend, suggested y/n move in with her and another friend. Share space with two girls would be amazing, especially since her last roomie was cool, but it’s not the same experience life with a man and with two girls between the same age.

That’s how Mathew Barzal, a professional hockey player, found himself trying to sleep while the neighbor was listening to music in a not so social volume. This was odd since he knew the two college students that lived next door (and by knew he meant he used to say “good morning” to them every time they bump at the corridor or the elevator. He didn’t even remember their names). It was a Thursday night so they probably have class in the morning, something that demands a good night of sleep in the same way that having to work as a player does.

When Mathew notice that all the pieces of music played was from Bon Jovi he was ninety percent sure that whoever we’re listening to that loud sh*t was going to listen to the whole album or the whole music career from the rock star. Convincing himself that they would not stop, he got up, put a shirt on and headed to the corridor, having to click twice the doorbell to be heard through the loud screams of You give love a bad name.

It took y/n more than expected to notice someone was at the door and when she finally did, her first action was to run and open the door. Probably it was Brianna pissed cause she lost her keys or something, she thought.

“God, calm down, I’m going!!!!” she finally opened the door.

“I’m not God” Mat answers when the door was finally pulled open.

It took y/n only three seconds to reply “I see, but you definitely look like one” and five to realize what she just said.

“Fuck, just kidding, sorry.” not the best apologize, actually Mat would laugh (if he wasn’t mad with the noise) cause it wasn’t even something to really apologize for, she was just...involuntary flirting (?).

So he took his time scanning the -apparently- funny girl in front of him. He hasn’t bumped in her in the corridor or said ‘good morning’ in the elevator if so he would remember cause she had these big eyes and the corner of her lips looked like she was always about to say something comic. Y/n seemed like some character from a rom-com movie wearing sleep shorts, a polka dots t-shirt and face mask color blue, which made Mat smile and lose focus.

“I...I’m the neighbor next door”

Yeah, but what about the noise?! his mind beats him.

“Nice to meet you, I guess?” Y/n stretches her lips forming a smile.

“You’re not from here, are you?”

“By here you mean the planet, the country or the apartment?” she jokes.

“I mean the planet since I never saw blue human beings” he tries to sound as funny as her.

“Fuck!!! I forgot about the face mask!!! I thought my cheeks were burning cause I was shy or something” and just like that y/n runs inside the house letting the door wide open while Mat stands there and Bon Jovi sings Misunderstood from her loudspeakers.

I stumbled like my words, did the best I could

I 'm hanging outside your door

I've been here before

“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not as blue as I seemed to be five minutes early” and there she was joking again. This time a towel hangs around her neck while some strands of her hair are wet from the water, the rest of it in a messy bum at the top of her head.

“Still look pretty, to be honest”

“These dark cheeks are not from you flirt just so you know, they’re from the face mask” y/n points to her cheekbones and gives Mat a funny smile.

“Am I flirting with you?”

“I don’t know, you tell me” she raises her brows.

She was smart, he pursed his lips. Y/n knew exactly how to take the truth from someone.

“First you gotta turn down the music, I’ve been trying to sleep for hours…” he scratches his cheeks and old habit of his.

“Omg, sorry!” she took her phone from her back pocket and stopped the music turning to him again. “I used to share space with a music major so our apartment had these really really good soundproof walls. I guess I’m gonna take some time to get used to the fact that they’re not the same here.”

“No, no, don’t bother, it’s just...I guess my room is really close to the area where you had the music playing so it seemed extremely loud for me.” he purses his lips again, Mat didn’t want to look like these annoying neighbors who would only complain about anything, especially to the new girl in front of him.

How old was she? 20? 21 maybe? He wondered. In fact, he caught himself questioning a lot about her inside his mind, like what kind of chocolate she likes, if she was a heavy sleeper or if she would listen to something besides Bon Jovi.

“Yeah, I get that. I usually listen to loud rock music when I have a long day, it gets me calm again...don’t know about the magic these music have”

“Nice way to handle the stress, I would probably skate around the ice until I felt like the ground and my feet were the same thing.” He does not know why, but all he wanted to do was keep talking to her.

“Healthy way to handle stress, I would do the same if I knew how to skate” she states, her friends said she couldn’t even walk properly without dropping or hitting something. Clumsy.

“My friends used to say I’m a good teacher...”

“I guess I should take my own impressions then.”

They both smile at each other, the silence between them being nothing but comfortable. Y/n thought he had this kind of eyes that says a lot to you when there’s nothing left that the mouth could translate.

“I should...get back to end my assignment for my class tomorrow…” she points behind her back and he nods.

“Good luck”

“You too, in your sleep I mean”

“Thank you…” he scratches his cheeks. “I didn’t get your name.”

She stretches her hand. “Y/n. And yours?”

“Barzal, Mathew Barzal.”

“It was nice to meet you, Barzal” the shook hands.

“Good night, y/n.”

“Night, Barzal”

…

They bump into each other somedays along the week, always exchanging more than the simple ‘good morning’, usually Mat would ask how was university and she would take the whole elevator ride with her long reply full of jokes.

Next week, on a Friday night, that’s when Mathew finds himself in her door again. This time she wasn’t listening to Bon Jovi but Arctic Monkeys. So he grabbed a shirt and his car keys.

“Hey, Barzal” it was not y/n who answers the door, that was probably Bridgit if he were correct witch he was not.

“Hi...umm...Is y/n home?” maybe this time wasn’t her listening to rock out loud after a rough day, it could be any of her roommates...he felt stupid for some seconds.

“Yeah, she’s the only human being in this house to handle rock music this loud. Are we bothering you?!” Mat shakes his head no “Thank God, so let me get her for you…” the blond smiles and turns back inside the house.

The music doesn’t stop even when y/n reaches the door. Her lips curled but the smiled didn’t reach her eyes if Mathew could guess right.

“Hey, Barzal, I’m sorry, I’m going to turn down the volume...told you I would take some time to get used to the walls here.”

“No, no...I-I didn’t come to ask you to turn down the music, I was actually wondering if you wanted to walk around and talk since you told me that only listen to rock in this volume when you had a bad day.”

She pondered for a minute before grabbing her slippers and closing the door. Tonight she was wearing sweats and this groovy beige t-shirt, her hair falling around her shoulders into soft curls and a pair of glasses.

They walked to the elevator in silence and stayed this way until entering the car.

“I may not be the funniest person tonight, sorry, my day was really really long…”

“It’s okay, we can talk about it if you want to or we can just listen to loud music together...if you don’t mind the company, of course”

“I don’t” she smiles small and reaches for the seat belt.

Y/n looks for the radio this time while Mat starts driving. Mean It by Lauv starts playing and she chuckles.

“My music taste is not as sophisticated as yours, sorry” he glances her way and she shakes her head no.

“I like it, it’s okay”

“Oh, so you into pop music?”

“I’m into almost every kind of music” she states simply. “What about you?”

“I usually listen to pop and what comes next into these random Spotify playlists.”

“Can I follow your account?” she asks out of the blue and he smiles.

“Yeah, sure” Mat hands her his phone that has in the center console.

“I asked cause music says a lot about people, some aren’t too much into sharing it. I mean, I usually am very specific with my playlists so, yeah, not everyone has my username” she unlock her phone as well and opens the app.

“I never thought in that way…”

He keeps driving while the music rolls and y/n sits comfortably beside him.

“Where are we going?”

“There’s this really cool ice cream shop I like to go when I want to be alone…”

“Oh, you’re showing me your secret place” she smiles and he rolls his eyes jokingly.

It was ten more minutes until Mathew park the car and undo his seat belt.

“Sooo we’re here” he looks at her and her glasses are reflecting some of the lights from the shop in front of them.

“Looks cozy,” y/n says simply.

“Take this” he reaches for the backseat and hands her a hoodie.

She was overwhelmed with the day and Mat’s invitation sounded like a good way out so she ended up forgetting her sweatshirt.

“Thank you.”

They walked in and y/n felt a little warmer at the place, the tables in the wall, the beige and brown color giving it some calm message while the colourfull decorations like the menu or the spoon holder told people it was an ice cream shop.

“Not only look but feels cozy” he smiles at her while they stop at the freezer, Mat going straight to the bubblegum flavor something that didn’t pass unnoticed by y/n.

“I mean you got amazing flavors like chocolate, mint and even strawberry but you choose bubblegum?!” she furrows her brows and he shrugs holding back a laugh.

“Did you at least give it a chance?”

“No, thank you.” she shows him her tongue and goes to the spoon grabbing a handful of chocolate chip mint and another of peanut butter.”

“C’mon, you’ve got to be kidding me…”

“What?” she looks up at him knowing exactly what he’s talking about.

“Peanut butter?! You don’t have the right to talk about bubblegum when you eat that...I didn’t even know it was a flavor”

“Now you know” they walk past the cashier and Mats hangs the teenager a 20 dollar bill while smiling.

They sitting side by side while y/n tells him about her day and eventually eats her ice cream, they get into a discussion about which flavor was the most “normal” one and end up exchanging some spoons and laughing about how silly that was.

Mathew was able to talk about his own day too, while y/n gave him the space to speak and fell comfortable.

“If you could choose some music to play now, what would be playing?” that was a way of asking if she felt better and she knew it, so she smiles.

“Probably fallingforyou by the 1975” and she had this mysterious look in her face. Before Barzal could ask what’s the meaning of the song she’s speaking again, “what about you?”

“What do you mean, Justin Bieber?!”

“There’s actually some meaning behind your choice of song or are you just trying to ask about the meaning of mine?” she uplifts her brows and he shrugs with a little smile in the corner of his lips.

“Have you heard my song choice at least?” he shakes his head no.

They keep talking about random things until their bodies ask for some rest. The way back home was with more talk while Mat showed her some pop music he had in his favorite playlist to drive to.

Just when the car came to a stop y/n puts fallingforyou to play. Mat probably wouldn’t notice it was the song she told him about. That was the kind of music she would listen to after a moody day, she would be more relaxed and slightly happy.

He undid his seat belt turned to look at her.

“Thank you for the night”

“Anytime” he smiles “you sound more relaxed.”

“You’re sound correct” she undid her seat belt too and gives him a toothy smile.

“I think we should do this more” Mat clicks the button to call the elevator and y/n nods with her hands in the pockets of the hoodie.

As they walked in the corridor she could only think about how spending time with him was comforting and knowing about him was as fun as her dance playlist. Mathew seemed like the mix of all of her favorite tapes that she never ever gets tired of.

“So...see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow, thank you for the talk and the ice cream.”

He leaned for a hug and she holds him by the neck breathing in his perfume. They stayed in the hug for more seconds than the socially considered normal before y/n let go, but Mat keeps the hold on her waist.

She appreciates his face this close and smiles, incapable of keeping her hands to herself and reaching for his cheekbones.

“I wanna kiss you” he states simply holding her tight against his body. “Can I kiss you?”

She smiles reaching for his neck again and pulling him into a kiss. His lips tasting like bubblegum, cold and soft against hers just like his hands were now in her waist.

“You taste like my favorite ice cream flavor” he jokes pecking her lips again and y/n holds him closer.

“You sound like my favorite song.”

#mat barzal #Mathew barzal #nhl imagines #nhlfanfic #mathew barzal imagine #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #writing #nhl writing #mels writing #mat barzal imagine

349 notes · View notes

detectivecarlosreyes · 4 years

Text

Academy Together, Friends Forever 10/10

Also on Ao3

(Beginning) (Prev Chapter)

Exhausted, Buck falls back against his pillows and rolls over to check the time on his phone to see how long he had to wait before it was acceptable to be awake. 12:47am. Damn, he’d only been asleep for what? Some 3 hours? It felt like he’d be sleeping for much longer than that.

Settling back onto his back, Buck shuts his eyes with a heavy sigh knowing that It’ll be unlikely for him to sleep, especially not after a nightmare like that. Sometimes if he’s lucky, he’s able to get a few hours of shut-eye if the nightmare is just a memory on repeat, but the ones that send him reeling and in desperate need to call Eddie, well he can expect the rest of his night to be a sleepless one.

He couldn’t have been lying there for more than 20 minutes when he hears the door creak open with TK whispering, “Buck, you still awake?”

Instead of answering or opening his eyes, he pats the untouched side of the bed, beckoning TK to join him. There’s a pause before he hears the soft padding of footsteps on the carpet and then he feels the bed dip underneath TK’s weight.

They lie there quietly, listening to each other breathe until Buck can’t take the silence anymore and turns his head to look at TK curiously.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

TK blushed at the question. “Uh, I just got in from dinner actually,” He shakes his head, “but that’s not why I’m here. Are you okay?”

Buck rolls over onto his side and props up on his elbow, looking down at TK. “Am I okay? I feel like I should be asking you that.”

TK turns his head to the side to look back at him. “Buck, I heard you and dad. You just had a freaking nightmare, and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”

Buck gives him a look. “I mean, I’m not the one who woke up two days ago from a coma after being shot, nor does my dad have cancer.”

Buck knew he was deflecting the question because he didn’t have an answer for TK, and clearly TK had no response either judging by how quiet he became after that. With nothing left to say, he flops back onto his back and wedges a hand under his head. And they lie there like that, for some time after that, neither really knowing what to say until TK’s softly speaks up again.

“It’s not weird to be afraid to go back to work, right? I mean I got shot, if that can happen on the job, what else is could happen?"

“I know exactly what you mean,” he replies, matching TK’s quiet tone. “And no, I don’t think it’s weird at all, but then again I’m probably not the best person to talk to about this considering my track record...”

TK reaches down and takes hold of his wrist. “Buck, out of anyone, you’re probably the best person to talk about this because you know what it’s like. Would you tell me what it was like for you?”

Buck sighs deeply. “I’m not going to pretend it was easy because it wasn’t, even with how much as I wanted to be back at work. When I first got back, getting into the truck was the worst part for a long time, I had this constant feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that something bad was going to happen. I’m still waiting for that feeling to go away.” He says the last part under his breath, but TK still heard him.

He continues on, “And, well, you know about the nightmares; actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if that feeling contributes to them honestly.” He sighs again, “Tonight’s wasn’t the first nightmare I’ve had relating to what happened, but it certainly was one of the worst. That’s not to say any of this will be the same for you though, I had a lot of other things happen before I was actually back at work which I’m sure made things worse.”

There was a long, drawn-out pause before TK finally says somewhat jokingly, “Ah, that explains why you look like crap.” Unsure of what else to say, choosing instead to lighten the mood; and Buck can’t help but roll his eyes in amusement and throws a pillow at him in response.

“But seriously though, dad was worried that you weren’t sleeping, I’m guessing that’s why?”

“Yeah,” Buck says softly.

Then with an air of levity, he speaks up again with a light chuckle, “Between you, me and Chim, we should start a little support group for firefighters who’ve had near-death experiences.”

“Chim?”

He’s one of the guys I work with; the man has been stabbed and he’s survived a piece of rebar in his head.”

TK looks at him in surprise, “Wow, okay, wasn’t expecting that.” His voice takes on a considering tone. “Maybe we should.”

Buck hums in response, feeling the pull of sleep tugging at his consciousness and feeling surprisingly comfortable and more relaxed than he’s ever felt so soon after a nightmare. Even if he doesn’t sleep, it still usually it takes him a couple of hours for his body and mind to settle after an intense dream, but this time, after talking with Owen and having TK lying next to him, it didn’t seem quite so bad.

He feels TK shift on the bed and releases his wrist as he fights to keep his eyes open. But before TK could move far, Buck reaches out and takes hold of his wrist stalling him in his movements.

“Would you stay?”

The request was a familiar one, except this time their roles were reversed, which is why TK doesn’t hesitate, he just pulls the covers back and settles into the bed, shuffling in close. Comforted by TK’s presence, Buck finally lets his eyes fall shut.

He feels TK gently brush away a curl from his forehead as he whispers, “You can sleep now Buck.”

And he does.

** ** **

Buck flew out later that morning feeling more rested for the first time since he’d come to Austin. Owen luckily had the morning off before work and insisted that he and TK would drive him to the airport to see him off.

Their farewell was a quick affair with Owen stopping in the departures zone, leaving the car idling and giving him an awkwardly positioned hug over the console between them and making him promise to keep in touch.

TK, on the other hand, got out of the car with him and pulled him in for a hug and whispers familiar words in his ear, “Remember great love involves great risk, maybe you should heed your own advice.”

Buck looks at him in surprise but nods nonetheless before TK climbs back into the car and raises his hand in a wave as they pull away. Hiking his bag up on his shoulder Buck heads to the terminal, with TK’s words still lingering in his thoughts.

The flight went by quickly and Buck landed back in LA just after lunchtime. Distracted by his stomach grumbling as he scrolls through his phone to pull up a rideshare app, he almost misses his name being called out.

“Buck!”

Startled, Buck slows his steps as he looks around, searching for where the voice came from until his eyes eventually land on Eddie. The man smiling in front of him was wearing his LAFD shirt, fresh off a shift no doubt, and holding up a brown paper bag that Buck is certain was containing some form of bakery goods.

“What are you doing here?” He asks as he approaches Eddie, surprised to see him, having forgotten that Eddie had said he would see him tomorrow in their call last night.

“Well you told me the other day when you were getting in, so I figured I’d pick you up, so you wouldn’t have to pay the absurd costs of an Uber to get to your place.” Eddie lightly shakes the paper bag, “and I figured you’d be hungry. Your favourite, the double choc chip muffins from that vegan bakery you like.”

“Eddie I- thank you.” He ends up saying gratefully, at a loss for words.

If Buck wasn’t already feeling that he might be in love with Eddie, he certainly was now. He probably would have denied such claims up until this moment, with this simple gesture sending him jumping off into the deep end. No one has ever done something like this for him just because they wanted to.

As they walk to Eddie’s truck in the parking lot, Buck makes the conscious decision to walk close enough that their arms brushed almost constantly. With this close proximity, he tentatively knocks his hand against Eddie’s and waits to see if Eddie pulls away, putting some distance between them. He doesn’t.

Encouraged by the lack of a negative response, Buck knocks his hand once again against Eddie’s before gently taking his hand in his own and laces their fingers together. Trying not to make a big deal out of it, he doesn’t look directly at Eddie, allowing him to accept or reject the action without it being a thing.

He sees out of the corner of his eye Eddie looking down at their joined hands before he looks away and brings Buck’s hand up to his mouth and presses a tender kiss to the back of his hand, making it clear to Buck that the feeling was mutual.

He must have let out an audible sigh of relief as they arrive at the truck, because Eddie turns to him, claiming all of his attention with a soft smile.

“I wondered when you were finally going to make a move.”

“Well I guess this was a long time coming, wasn’t it? And all it took to send me over the edge was for you to bring me muffins at the airport.” Buck says, grinning back at Eddie.

Eddie lightly presses the bag of muffins into Buck’s chest and gives his hand a little squeeze before letting go to move to the driver’s side of the truck. Buck smiles to himself before getting in, thinking that yeah, maybe the Dalai Lama was onto something.

** ** **

No matter how good his day could be, Buck can never predict what his night would bring. Tonight, it ended up being another nearly sleepless night and although it was nowhere near as bad as his last night in Austin, it still left him exhausted all the same.

When he pulls into work that morning, the parking spaces were only half full, with both Eddie and Bobby having arrived before him. And just like every other day that he’s had a nightmare beforehand, Buck throws on what he hopes is a cheerful expression and walks between the trucks like he hasn’t a care in the world.

Eddie was still in the locker room tying his shoes when he arrived and as he looks up to return his greeting, Eddie’s smile quickly turned into a small frown.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” Buck asks, wiping away at non-existent crumbs that he thought might have been stuck around his lips from his quick breakfast.

Buck could see the concern brewing in Eddie’s eyes, “You had another nightmare last night, didn’t you?”

Not wanting to lie to Eddie Buck sighs and nods, letting his mask fall away, what was the point in hiding it if Eddie knew the truth anyway. At his answer, Eddie gets up off of the bench seat and steps in close to Buck.

“I’m worried about you Buck, I thought they had gone away months ago but then you called me the other night and…” Eddie trails off, truly looking at Buck with fresh eyes and lets out a barely audible gasp, “They never stopped, did they?” Buck presses his lips together and reluctantly nods again.

“Buck, I’m sorry I didn’t notice it before.”

Buck shakes his head at Eddie, “It’s not your fault, Eddie. I tried to keep it all to myself,” He takes in a deep breath, “but I’ve realised, with some help, that I should actually talk to someone about it properly.”

“Good,” Eddie breathes out, “I’m glad.”

They stand there practically chest to chest until Eddie’s eyes widen slightly, having just noticed their close proximity, causing Buck to suppress a chuckle. They had agreed to keep whatever their relationship was under wraps until they were ready, meaning that included keeping things professional at work which of course they would do regardless of their relationship status.

Buck turns away with a smirk and quickly changes into his uniform before going to seek out Bobby, who he of course finds in the kitchen.

“Buck! Good to see you back! I take it everything is okay now?”

“Yeah but honestly, I don’t know if the trip ended up being more beneficial for them or for me. There was a lot we apparently hadn’t talked about. Actually, that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Bobby pauses minutely before continuing with making them each a mug of coffee, “Oh?”

“I- uh, I was wondering if you could me give Frank’s number again, I can’t remember where I put the last card you gave me.”

Bobby slides Buck’s mug to him and takes a sip of his own. “Of course. Is this something I need to know about?”

Buck scratches behind his ear, “I- yes- no- probably? I’ve been having nightmares for a while now,” he admits with a grimace, might as well get it all out there, “since the ladder truck really.”

Bobby’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at that answer and he sets down his mug carefully. “I had no idea.”

Buck shrugs. “I hid it well. Not your fault.”

“Well, I’m glad you came to me. Come on, let's go to my office and I’ll get you one of his cards.”

Bobby gives him a look as he rifles through his desk drawers, “Actually, I thought this was going to be about a curious report I got from Captain Strand detailing an off duty 118 firefighter, who happened to do a rescue without any gear and got himself injured enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that?”

Buck surges forward, “Bobby, I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds, I just got caught on some glass and had to get some stitches. I wouldn’t be here if it was a problem.”

Bobby gives him an assessing look as he hands him Frank’s card. “I trust you, Buck. But if I have to, I will put you on light duty just until the cuts have healed enough.” He ends up saying softly.

Nodding Buck takes the card, accepting the conditions without protest while feeling lighter with the knowledge that Bobby finally knows everything and trusts him enough to allow him to keep working.

** ** **

~ Epilogue ~

It was a few days later and Buck was just leaving his first appointment with Frank, feeling as though things might actually turn out alright when his phone rings. Surprised to see TK’s caller ID so soon, he quickly accepts the call.

“Hey TK, how’s it going? I heard you had an insane solar storm yesterday.” He says as he pushes his way through the building’s front door. His eyes seek out Eddie who had promised him to drive him to his appointment in moral support in case it didn't go well.

“Yeah Buck, I’m good. That’s actually why I’m calling.”

Seeing Eddie leaning against the side of his truck as he walks up, Buck gives him a smile before pointing to the phone and mouthing “TK” to him. “Oh yeah?”

“You were right. There was this accident and I let my instincts take over and I just reacted, helping this lady trapped in an overturned bus during the storm. Firefighting is what I want to be doing.”

“I’m happy you’ve figured it out, I knew you would.”

“And Carlos and I are finally boyfriends too, I wanted to thank you for giving me that little push.”

Buck chuckles, “That’s so great to hear!” He looks at Eddie who was watching him fondly with his warm brown eyes, “And you know what, I should be thanking you too for throwing my advice back in my face.”

“So, you finally took the risk with Eddie, huh?”

He smiles to himself and scuffs his shoe on the asphalt, “Yeah, and it was the best choice I could’ve made.”

“I’m glad to hear it, Buck. Things seem to be looking up for us.”

“Looks like it.” Buck looks down at his watch. “Hey listen, I’ve got to go, but talk soon yeah? And tell Owen I said hi.”

“Yeah, of course. Talk soon Buck.”

Buck finally hangs up the phone and gives his full attention to Eddie who had been waiting patiently for him to finish the call. He leans down and softly presses a kiss to his lips.

“Hey,” he says with a smile.

“Hey yourself,” replies Eddie, “How’d it go?” he asks as they get into the truck.

“It went surprisingly well, I think. There’s a lot of stuff for us to unpack, but I know it’ll be worth it in the long run.”

“That’s good to hear. Now, what’s say you to coming with me to pick Chris up from school?”

“I’d love to, as long as we stop to get ice cream after.” Eddie gives him a look, “What? It’s an ice cream sort of day.”

Eddie rolls his eyes at him with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Now how could I say no to that.”

Buck watches Eddie contentedly as he drives. Yeah, things were looking up alright, and he can’t wait to see where they go from here.

~ Fin ~

Tags💖: @bisexualbuck @judsonryder @buckleyevan @seaofashes @justsmilestuffhappens @benjisvictor @diazbuckleysworld @diazsbuckley @confessions-of-a-shipperholic @spell-of-the-rain @novemberhush @black-forest-girl @bluebelle88 @adamngoodbuck @overtimeme @captain--sif @rachbabe007

#jess writes #my fic #long fic #we finally made it to the end #thankyou for following along with me on this if you’re still reading it that is!!#I don’t think I’ll be writing a multi chapter fic for a while now #911 #9-1-1 #9 1 1 x 9 1 1 lone star #evan buckey #tk strand #owen strand #eddie diaz #captain bobby nash #mentions of nightmares

52 notes · View notes

dailyaudiobible · 3 years

Text

08/20/2021 DAB Transcript

Esther 8:1-10:3, 1 Corinthians 12:27-13:13, Psalms 37:1-11, Proverbs 21:23-24

Today is the 20th day of August welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian and it is wonderful to be here with you today as we come in out of the…well…here in the rolling hills of Tennessee it's coming in out of the heat and not coming in out of the cold at all, but we’re coming out of the heat into this oasis, this cool place around this Global Campfire where we can let it all go and focus on the Scriptures as they inform the choices and decisions and steps that we will continue to make each moment by moment in each day by day. So, we have…in the Old Testament been working our way through the book of Esther. We will conclude the book of Esther today. It’s been a high drama story. Haman the antagonist met his end yesterday. His plot to annihilate the Jewish people though is still intact. And, so, let's reach our conclusion on the book of Esther by reading chapters 8, 9, and 10 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, yesterday we were talking about this…the Holy Spirit, the gifts that are bestowed by the Holy Spirit, that they are to serve the body and that they are to serve the Lord and that we are all part of a body and no one part can say to any other part that I don't need you or I don't want you because we collectively make a whole, a body, and every parts needed to make of that body, whether it's a seen part or an unseen part, whether it's pretty part or a hidden part. No matter what, it's a part, a necessary part of a body, the body of Christ in this world. And, so, we can seek the Holy Spirit and seek the giftings of the Spirit and serve the Lord through them, but when it's really about our attention…like drawing attention to ourselves then we’re forgetting that we’re a part of a whole and that comparison leads us nowhere, which leads us to what Paul just lays out in the 13th chapter of first Corinthians. We can have all these gifts that we want. We can jump up and down and draw attention to ourselves. We can do noble things we can do impressive things, but if we do not do these things in love they do not do or mean anything. And that's kind of a line in the sand. For example, can you be jealous in love or envious in love or raging in love. That gives us a bit of a plumb line to inquire of ourselves. Am I doing this in love or am I doing this in selfishness or envy or some other thing that is not going to serve God or the body, is only gonna serve ourselves? Love is the currency, or maybe…maybe the blood of the body. Love is the blood flowing through the body. A necessary irreplaceable piece. We’re dead without blood, right? Paul says, without love, I am nothing. So, let’s think about that and let’s go into the rest of our day loving and loving well.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit we can't on our own in our own strength. Certainly, we can love those who love us and we can be patient, we can be extra kind. But to just embody love, to just be Your love in this world and to try to in some way offer love wherever we go, we don’t have the capacity. Only through the power of Your Holy Spirit can we achieve anything even approaching this. But as we think about it, as we just consider, man what would it be like to just love. That is such a serene and peaceful place to think about because it overlooks so many of the things that we get so entangled in, so much of the bitterness and resentment, so much of the depression, so much of the anxiety comes from places that we feel wronged or wounded. And if love could fill those spaces. So, Holy Spirit come into our brokenness, the places that we find it really difficult to operate in love and fill those spaces with Your love. Help us to understand that, that it's not…it's not by brute force that we’re just acting like we’re loving, it’s that we need You to fill us in those spaces so that it's not our will or our love, it is Your love flowing through us, filling us, healing us, restoring us, and then going out into the world. Come Holy Spirit, we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that’s home base, that is the website, that is where you get connected and find out what's going on around here. And all of these things can be found inside the Daily Audio Bible app as well.

And, so, be aware of places like the Community section, where there are all the different links to the social media avenues that we post on and interact on as well as the home of the Prayer Wall. The Prayer Wall lives in the Community section of the app or the website and it exists as a vehicle that is always on, never off, always available where we can always go and ask for prayer, always or we can…we can go and offer prayers. And we've talked about this before but it's very, very easy when things are hard and we’re having to do some endurance and we’re growing weary and we’re getting weaker and weaker, it's very easy for us to get very focused on our pain or whatever it is that we’re suffering and whatever the challenge might be. And, so, we focus on the disruption and then we want to talk about it to a lot of people. So, we keep telling the same stories and asking for the same kinds of prayers when as wonderful and helpful as it is as it is to have the body of Christ around us, sometimes focusing outward, especially in the wee hours of the night, right, when you can’t just make the rounds on the phone or whatever. Sometimes, offering prayers, reaching out in prayers for other people who are also in pain who are also enduring something, reaching toward them, feeling connected in that way gets…well…it gets things in perspective and keeps us from becoming so wound up into our own story. And that is an important piece of our spiritual journey, to understand that we are knit together as a body, and when one hurts, we all hurt. And, so, to participate in healing in any way that we can, even just going before the Lord on behalf of someone, that is a beautiful thing that we have done well here at the Daily Audio Bible around the Global Campfire. So, the…the…the Prayer Wall is very important to that equation. So, certainly be aware of it and use it daily, often.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible thank you, thank you humbly and with a heart of gratitude. Thank you for your partnership. We wouldn't be here if we didn't do this together. And thank you for your partnership as we navigate summertime. Appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can at the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good evening DABbers please pray for my grandma that has multiple myeloma. Please heal her…I mean please pray that God will heal her and please pray for her that she will have a lot of fun with us in the pool and she will…and she will be…I mean and she will have a lot of energy. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Hello DAbbers this message is for Jonathan from Denver. I'm calling to encourage him and acknowledge him that he just confessed he has a problem with an addiction. And I really wanna tap you on your back man because you're very brave to do such as this. I suffered the same thing. I…I went through this addiction of pornography and it last for many many years, 25 years in my life and what I had to do, the same as you did. Basically, just surrender to the Lord and He will give you the strength and the self-control to get rid of all this junk, all this material that you have. Just focus…focus on the thing that you have, that you are able to. Focus on what you are able to do and God will provide you the strength and the power and the will and all the self-control to carry on until you completely destroy this out of your life. He will put you…and Jonathan, He will put you good friends that will guide you to a different path. And just rely on the Lord and I'm sure as He did for me and many others He will give you the power to come out of this addiction. And I've been praying for you and for all the community, everybody that has any addiction, doesn't matter if it’s pornography or anorexia or, you know, alcohol, drugs. I've been praying for all you guys. Love you all. And thank you Brian for this wonderful podcast. Cheers. Blessings everybody. __ here from Australia. Bye.

Good morning DAB family this is Tito Ramirez calling from Southern California. I wanted to call today and have you guys pray with me over my mom Mara. She is in my life her and Brian Hardin are the two people that I've seen just really turn themselves inside out to serve the Lord. My mom came to this country and became a citizen, but she came from Peru and always had a heart for serving the Lord. And she started raising money. All my life all my life I remember my mom raising money and putting in her own money to build churches and Peru. And then she funds out of the money that she raises and her own pocket the pastor's salary that goes around and preaches at these churches that she built down there because she didn't want him encumbered by any red tape from any religious institution. And she, once my sisters and I got into Graduate School she partnered with our…with our universities here in Southern California to take the medical and dental schools there and set up free medical care in these churches that she built. And it was a great experience for the medical students and the dental students and the hygiene students. And they would take volunteer doctors and dentists and they would just go serve man, just give away free medical care until they ran out of stuff. And they did that every year. And my poor mum is suffering right now in the hospital. She's had some small strokes and it sounds like she's having another one this morning. And I just want to cover her in prayer. She's…she's a retired nurse and she just reminds me so much of my own kids when I take them to the doctor to get a shot. She's become so scared, you know, and it just feels so different. But please provide cover her in prayer, that the doctors would diagnose her quickly, that they would treat her effectively, that the Lord would send the Holy Spirit to comfort her and give her peace so she's not afraid. I love you guys. Thank you so much for praying for my family. You guys are the best.

Hi this is Anonymous. I just wanted to call in and ask for some prayer because…it seems so silly…but my husband and I have very different needs when it comes to intimacy. And in order to not make him feel bad about his drive not being as high as mine is I've kind of gotten sucked into porn and I don't…I don't want to go to that. I…I want that relationship with my husband, but I don't know how to make that happen or get to a place where I'm content with what we have. So, if you guys could just pray for me, I would really appreciate it. Thank you.

Hi, my DAB family this is Julie calling from the UK. I've been following the DAB since the beginning of the year. So, I'm doing quite well with it really considering I’ve had such a tough time. And I'm just asking for prayer really because I just cannot get out of this anxious state I'm in. My life is just not there. I just feel I can't do anything. I just sit in the same chair everyday feeling weak and reading my Bible and listening to the Daily Audio Bible. I've had a lot of changes in my life. I've moved to a new…a new country and I'm just struggling. I miss my family so much. And I don't know whether I should be here or go back. I've only been here…I've been here three years, but I just feel that I need some…some prayer to…to guide me whether I should return or stay. This anxiety is just unbearable. And I'm just praying that you'll all pray for me or at least one of you will pray for me and that I can trust in God to help me, bring me through this. Thank you.

1 note · View note

kayr0ss · 4 years

Text

Ribs

[LWA, Diakko, growing up, timing, kind of angsty at the start, BUT very hopeful, inspired by a song ty Lorde, emotional author, I guess a song fic?]

You don’t always need to get it right the first time.

You can listen to the song when the fic cues it, but it might be confusing so feel free to listen to Ribs by Lorde after.

—–

“We’re just so—so—”

Akko couldn’t look at Diana. She bit her lips, trembling, and somehow the brunette knew that meeting those eyes would bring her over the edge and straight into bawling.

“—so young,” she finally supplied, voice wavering.

Diana’s lips were pressed into a thin line. Keep it in, she clenched her jaw. Keep it in because the slightest crack will make you fall apart.

“I never thought you’d be the one worried about that between the two of us,” the blonde witch managed a dry laugh. She looked down at her hand, finding it out of place so far away from Akko’s. She wanted to hold her.

Akko had no response, though—and reaching over didn’t feel like an option.

They sat on the grass of Luna Nova’s grounds, the sky a deep, inky violet dotted by stars whose formations they’ve memorized after years of instruction. Did a good day really need to feel so… bad? Graduation had crept upon them like a vine left unchecked, and before they knew it they were being pulled apart—apart by continents, time zones, and the sudden realization that they didn’t know if tomorrow promised them the opportunity to stay together.

“When did we put up this wall?” Diana finally broke through, hugging her knees close to her chest while she lifted her gaze towards Orion’s belt.

“W—When we started worrying?” Akko sputtered out, shaky and unsure.

“When we realized,” Diana wondered out loud, “that things aren’t as absolute as we thought, maybe.”

It was a bitter, melancholic thought. Responsibility is something Diana is used to—and growing older and into the world just meant more of the same. She could take it. It wouldn’t be easy, but it wouldn’t be anything new. But Akko—she spared a quick glance to the quivering girl sitting so close yet so far away—Akko wasn’t used to this. The fraying of their rope began when Diana asked a question that Akko was all-to used to skipping: “How do we make this work?”

“We’ll wing it!” she blocked away the query without so much as a thought. But that was two years before the absolute separation of graduating and living half-way across the globe from each other.

A year before their term ended, Akko’s absolute rebuttals had turned into, “We’ve always managed… somehow.”

Three months before the term ended, when asked again, Akko grew irritable. “Why are you always thinking about the future?! We have right now.”

Suddenly time was up.

Diana could feel thorns press into her chest—she couldn’t take it, no—“can’t we break through?”

Two hours before they had to leave campus for the last time as students, Akko drew a teary-eyed sigh.

“I’m scared.”

“You’ve never been before.”

“How do I fit in in that life of yours?”

“We’ll break down this wall.”

“I—” Akko sobbed into her arms. “I—I’m sorry.”

All the constraint had finally become overwhelming. With a heavy, shaky breath, a small sob had broken through.

She cried, but Diana didn’t want this to be the last image of the first girl she ever loved.

“Maybe time will tear the wall away,” she rubbed at her eyes, looking up towards the Big Dipper. Hoping, holding onto a thin thread and hoping—because that is all she has to hold on to for now.

–

The sudden silence of music stopping jolted Diana awake. She blinked her tiredness away, eyes scanning her immediate surroundings, registering that she was on a bus, in a foreign city she had called home for quite a few years by now.

A dream… a memory? She hadn’t thought about her in a while.

Luckily, she wasn't due to disembark until the next stop, and she leaned her shoulder against the glass window while the familiar hiss of the door closing mixed in with the ambient noise of a busy city—it was all a little muffled through muting of her earphones. The sky was dark enough for the first set of city lights to flicker on, but still light enough that the scenery was basked in blue instead of black.

[ Ribs – Lorde ]

Huh. She snuck glance to her smart watch, matching the title of next song to the ethereal voices and synthesizers that made up its introduction. She nearly laughed when the first droplets of rain pitter-pattered against the window pane, thinking that the view of lights blurring past her in a blue-and-violet sky matched the song poetically. Good enough to be a—a—she wrestled with her train of thought, looking for a world a special girl from years past had taught her. Ah. A music video.

She looked up to and wondered if she’d see the big dipper if the clouds didn’t decide to hide it for this evening.

[The drink you spilt all over me]

Soft beeping and a polite announcement let her know that it was time alight. She pulled out a folded umbrella, in much too contemplative a mood to feel vexed at the sudden downpour. It wasn’t so heavy, anyway.

The walk to her apartment was a different experience together when you couldn’t hear the noise—the music drowned out any other sound, and she somehow felt like an outsider; like she was still on the bus and watching other people go about their lives through a glass pane. A new to experience the monotony of going to work, school, and then coming home. Of growing older.

[The drink you spilt all over me – “lovers spit” left on repeat mom & dad let me stay home, it drives you crazy getting old The drink you spilt all over me – “lovers spit” left on repeat mom & dad let me stay home, it drives you crazy getting old’]

There’s a soft lull in the music while it braces for another act; and in this space—as if the music decided to take a breath—she heard jarring familiar,

“Mou!”

Diana takes a sharp breath, and nearly makes a full 180-degree turn.

“I’m never going to find my apartment before dark at this rate!”

Her mouth hangs open but she doesn’t speak—the blonde witch finds herself enraptured; waiting for the apparition in front of her to finish speaking as if to confirm that this was—real.

“Kami-sama, help me!” Red eyes rolled in exasperation and she’s talking to no-one in particular. She still has that silly ponytail sticking up from her hair. The brunette looks around, no doubt trying to discern if North was actually South or vice-versa by the way she was turning her cellular phone around and over.

Maybe time can tear it down.

Diana is walking towards her, afraid that she’ll disappear behind every pedestrian that obstructs her line of sight. She tries several times to call out; to say her name, but it gets caught in her throat and before the fourth try the woman in question catches her line of sight.

The sparkle in her eyes, and the way her mouth had formed a perfect ‘O’ spoke a thousand more words than ‘hello’

“H—Hello.” But Diana went for ‘hello’ anyway. “Akko.”

“Diana,” Akko replies, eyes tracing the blonde witch’s features as if to confirm this wasn’t some scam. “It’s been…”

“…seven or eight?” Diana can’t help but beat her to it. She didn’t realize she was keeping track. “Years, I meant.”

There’s a tentative silence, poorly filled in by the sound of idle chatter, footsteps, and engines cruising down the street. A night-time noodle stall is setting up shop near where they’re standing, and the lack of words was beginning to get unbearable.

“Is that gray hair?”

Akko breaks the tension away like it was nothing. Diana missed that grin so, so much.

“It’s the lighting.”

She also missed feeling that mixture of tenderness and annoyance uniquely caused by this woman.

“Suuure it is.”

Diana rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re a few thousand kilometers away from home.”

“According to this app, actually, I’m only about 20 yards away. Just don’t know which direction those yards might be.”

Diana slips into an easy smile, “I’m just down the street.”

They don’t notice that the rain has stopped, and that the big dipper is sparkling fondly above them through a clearing in the clouds. The wall is gone—and while Diana looks into crimson eyes she wonders if hope is a thread that pulls them apart so they can be stitched together in the right time and places.

“Shall I show you around the city?”

Akko’s hand feels familiar when she takes Diana’s open palm. She laughs lightly. “We have to find my new house first.“

–

A/N: Hello. I’m writing from the heart and what I’m currently going through. I don’t know what to do with this longing and hope, so I’ll just turn it into a story. Ribs by Lorde could give more perspective so I encourage you to listen.

And if the girl I met through writing stories sees this, know that this is what I wish for us after maybe 8 years of healing on our own. I will see you then, wherever that is, when I come down from the bus stop.

#Diakko #Diana #Akko #Diana Cavendish #Atsuko Kagari #Dianakko #LWA #Little Witch Academia #wlw #Femmeslash #fanfic #writing #angst #growth #second chances

156 notes · View notes