#max is like ahh shit sorry I forgot!! you good?
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there are a few things Max does that make El absolutely melt (letting her listen to her heartbeat, playing with her hair, saying she loves her, singing to her) and if Max accidentally does them all at once El ODs on serotonin and dematerializes into confetti like when she killed the demogorgon
#elmax#max is like ahh shit sorry I forgot!! you good?#(loudly addressing the empty room) El? you good?#c'mon poke a hole between dimensions or whatever your hot chocolate's getting cold#(a hole blasts open in the wall and el comes awkwardly climbing through some revolting goopy membrane)#max: heyyy there's my special girl!!!!!#el covered in ectoplasm: :| :]#mine#headcanon#fluff
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Tell Me What Changed (Pt. 4)
Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive
Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.
Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC
CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else
Read on AO3 here or below
Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter
“Now she’s been talking about him nonstop since they got back,” Jungkook vented to Nate as they sorted and stored inventory in the back. “It’s annoying as shit. Like all she wants to do is tell me– just every little thing they did–”
“A play by play of their sex?” Nate asked, grimacing.
“Yeah! I mean it’s not like we don’t ever talk about sex but I don’t go into fucking detail–”
“How much detail are we talking?” Nate interrupted. “She’s telling you he shaves his ball and what his stroke-game–”
“No no not that kind of detail but I know how many times they had sex and how many times she came and that she blew him and he went down on her and that she didn’t expect to like it but she did,” Jungkook sighed and rattled off despite that sick clench of his stomach again. It was stupid. “Look, I’m not queasy about a play by play.”
Nate snickered, “Yeah, I know.”
“But she’s not another guy. It’s not actually like talking to– I’m a guy. She’s a girl. Does she think I just tell her this level of– I mean, we live together, it’s not like she doesn’t know I fuck around and we joke about things a lot, but I don’t come home and give her this serious run of show. I just tell her things to make her laugh!”
“Even if you did, it’s not like she knows the girls, right?”
“Right!” Jungkook shouted, appreciating the point. “I have to be around her boyfriend and know he made her cum four times and she was afraid she’d crush his head with her thighs when he ate her out–” He broke off because Nate had slumped against the boxes laughing.
“Why do girls always worry about that?!”
“Yeah I don't know.”
“I mean the girls I fuck are sticks and they’ll be like ‘oh sorry I don’t want to hurt you.’ Bitch you’re squeezing two spaghetti noodles on my ears. You wish you had that thigh power!”
Jungkook gave a non-committal laugh because he didn’t want the subject to veer off just yet. He wasn’t done venting. He needed to empty himself of these things before he had to go grocery shopping with Alex later today. He was maxed out at the way she floated around the apartment, every few minutes remembering some new detail from her trip she needed to impart on Jungkook.
Great, she had a good time at snooty Lakeville with her formerly-corporate older boyfriend who made her cum four times and was apparently good with his tongue. Cool, Jungkook was good with his tongue too, Hoseok was nothing special. But she talked about him like he hung the moon just because she’d finally gotten a good lay and Jungkook wanted to be happy for her, but it was just too much. It wasn’t like they invented fucking!
“It’s like she forgot that just because we’re best friends doesn’t mean I’m another one of the girls,” Jungkook said. “It’s not just about having to see this guy around all the time and think about the depraved things he did to my friend, it’s also about just TMI of her in that context, you know? I don’t need to know what my roommate’s pussy sounds like–”
“She told you?!” Nate gasped.
“No, I’m being metaphorical.”
“Ahh, ok, dude, I was going to say… but yeah this is a platonic roommate, right? So why is she telling you all of this unless she’s trying to lure you in?”
Jungkook froze, stack of phone boxes cradled in his arms, and repeated, “Lure me in?”
“Like you said, why’s she telling you all this shit? She has girl friends, right? Unless she’s telling you to make you curious, yeah?” Nate wiggled his eyebrows.
Jungkook immediately propelled back into motion and assured him, “No no it’s definitely not that.”
“I don’t know, man, what girl tells her guy friend ‘my boyfriend fucked me this good’ unless she’s hinting ‘think you can do better?’”
“It’s definitely not that,” Jungkook assured him, immediately regretting this conversation now. Nate was an idiot. Total fucking moron, that guy, Jungkook should have known better. The slight embellishments Jungkook had given to the things Alex had actually said, to make it a funnier story to Nate, had confused the guy. It wasn’t like she’d told him what Hoseok’s stroke game was, she’d just said he made her cum four times and she was sore now. He definitely didn’t think she had meant think you can do better, baby?
Although obviously, objectively, he could. He had way more practice than Hoseok, he was sure of that, and while every woman was different, he had a wider sampling. It wasn’t like Hoseok came into this knowing anything more about how to fuck Alex good than Jungkook did; in fact Jungkook knew a lot more about Alex than Hoseok did so–
Not that Jungkook wanted to fuck Alex. Just objectively. In a direct competition of skills, he’d do better. Except for the wild card Hoseok would have, the finger on the scales that would tip the balance in his favor: Alex liked Hoseok, she wanted him, in a way she had never considered Jungkook. Jungkook knew that the more you wanted someone, the better the sex with them was, even if sex in general was great. So no matter how much better he was at fucking, Hoseok would win a competition judged by Alex because she wanted Hosoek to win. She chose him that way.
“Dude you look pissed,” Nate laughed, throwing a box at him. Jungkook caught it, but in doing so dropped several phone boxes.
“Oops.”
“What are you thinking? Revenge fuck?”
“What does that mean?” Jungkook asked, face now shifting from whatever ‘pissed’ expression Nate thought he had seen to one of skepticism. “I’m not going to fuck her– she has a boyfriend–”
“Nah, dude, this is your roommate, you didn’t want to fuck her before anyway, right? I mean fuck someone else and give her the details and see how she likes it! Probably she’ll get all ‘ew gross don’t tell me that,’” Nate explained, mimicking a high-pitched girl's voice in a way that seemed to prove he had not been laid anytime recently.
Jungkook’s head tilted, trying to make sense of this. He didn’t have to fuck someone new to have gross sex details to share. He didn’t think that was the problem. And again, it wasn’t like Alex didn’t already know he was a fuckboy. It’s just that his stories were funny, hers were–
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she thought because he fucked around, he wanted to hear about his best friend getting railed by her lightweight boyfriend on their hoity-toity trip up to Lakeville. Dude apparently couldn’t even hold his alcohol so his stamina couldn’t be that good. He suspected Alex was just an easy cummer since she’d gone unlaid for so long–
Ok no. NO no no no that was the whole point was that he did not want to start thinking about Alex in any sex-related sense. No! He’d drawn a hard line there basically a decade ago and there was no need or reason to muddy those waters now just because in quick succession she had revealed she wasn’t actually asexual, she now had a boyfriend, and for some inexplicable reason Alex had let him see her in lingerie. Ok, sure, for ‘feedback’ to make sure Hoseok wouldn’t laugh at her.
Obviously the fucker hadn’t laughed at her. Hope you enjoyed it, asshole! That’s my best friend whose weekend you almost ruined getting too drunk! Alex hadn’t confirmed the lingerie was a hit but Jungokok hadn’t expected it to be anything but. It had looked good on her.
“This is why I won’t live with a girl unless I’m married to her,” Nate continued, speaking mostly to himself because Jungkook was barely listening. “It doesn’t work.”
“It works for us,” Jungkook argued.
“Does it? She’s totally forgotten you’re a dude, dude.”
“Yeah but that’s ok. I mean, I’m not a fuckable dude to her–”
“Do you hear yourself? You’re Jungkook Jeon! You’re a fuckable dude to any lady unless she’s your sister, right?”
“Alex is basically like my sister.”
“Then why is she telling you all this gross shit?” Nate pointed out. “That’s like some weird sexual incest relationship or something. That’s some porn shit.” Nate pitched his voice higher again, “‘Hi, stepbrother, can you help me, my thong got stuck in my asscrack. Oh, your hands are all soapy? Maybe you can use your teeth–’”
“Jesus Christ, man,” Jungkook laughed. “Get laid or something.”
“Yeah but you aren’t pissed if I tell you about it, right? So yeah, something’s not right between you and Alex. You gotta stand up for yourself. Remind her you’re a man and you have zero interest in hearing about another man’s game.”
Jungkook realized what Nate was saying did not actually make much sense. He froze again, trying to untangle it. Fine, maybe he was annoyed listening to Alex talk about Hoseok but it was because it was different than talking about generic hook ups. He didn’t mind her teasing him about fucking around, but it was different to have your best friend give you the details of their sex-fueled weekend away with their boyfriend, who they would probably now be fucking down the hall from you on the weekly. Or she’d go over there. She had no problem with his sexcapades but yeah! Maybe he did a little bit just because he also had to look at the guy! He didn’t want to think about another guy cumming on her tits or whatever trash they’d try next! Whatever, maybe Alex didn’t think of him as anything but her brother, but he didn’t want to think these things about his sister!
Nate was pretty useless as an employee and not much good as a friend but something about talking to him did give Jungkook the boost he needed. If Alex started telling him things he didn’t want to know, he'd just tell her to cut it out. He’d remind her she was like a sister to him. He didn’t want to think about her having sex anymore than she had already forced him to!
“Bananas– not the organic ones though,” Jungkook said, looking up from their hastily scratched shopping list.
“Duh.” She actually rolled her eyes at the suggestion that she wouldn’t know what kind of bananas he wanted.
Jungkook started to walk over to the banana display, leaving Alex to push the cart. Instead she hopped up onto the low bar and gripped the handle, whining after him,
“Koooo, push me.”
“You were horizontal most of the weekend, push your damn self,” he argued, back towards her. He hated making the joke about a thing he didn’t want to talk about, but at least sex jokes came natural. He didn’t feel like doing that stupid thing they did sometimes where she rode on the cart and he pushed it, arms around her. Sometimes she’d lift her arms and quote ‘Titanic.’ One time Jimin had seen them do it and insisted there was something wrong with them, a gas leak in their apartment or something.
But he didn’t feel like doing it right now, he just wanted to get the grocery shopping trip done and get home. He’d been on his feet all day and he was tired and usually they went grocery shopping on Sundays so he’d been living off of stale cereal in yogurt and instant rice and kimchi for three days because she’d been gone all weekend. Horizontal.
“Not just horizontal!” she said brightly, completely missing his tone. She gave the cart a shove and rode it over, bashing into the back of his ankles.
“Yeah, ok.”
“Why are you being sulky?”
“Because I’m hungry!”
“Well it’s not my fault you couldn’t feed yourself while I was away. You could have gone grocery shopping on your own,” she pointed out.
“I was busy.”
“Doing what?” she taunted. “Mom said you went to dinner at home. And that you didn’t give away any of my secrets so thanks.”
“They grilled me. You owe me.”
“Eh, you already owed me. You’ve earned my trust back.”
“That’s why you’re telling me every detail now, huh?”
“Yeah I’m not actually worried you’re going to go tell my mom he made me cum–”
“I know how many times,” he interrupted.
Alex’s response was to laugh, “Damn, you’re hangry! OK ok fine, let’s plow through the list so we can get home and feed you. Hehe, plowed like–”
“Alex,” he gave a deep, annoyed sigh to carry her name through the produce section.
She just giggled, “It’s kind of fun pissing you off, actually. I’m barely even telling you anything but you’re getting all pissy because someone beside you is talking about sex–”
“We’re in a grocery store,” he glared, gesturing at the other people in this public space.
“Yeah yeah I know, ok. I’ll dial it back. How was work?”
The question bored him but he answered it and returned the question. Her work bored him too. Everything bored him!
“Hey we’re going to the arcade tomorrow, right?” He suddenly thought of it. Her being gone Monday had totally thrown his weekly schedule off and he realized now tomorrow was Thursday arcade night and she might be working.
She gave him an incredulous look, “Of course we’re going. I mean, unless you’re bailing on me. I have it blocked out in my work schedule.”
“Oh, yeah. Ok. I’m feeling like we need to work harder to get the Slushie machine and stuff. I don’t think the marketing they’ve been doing is enough,” he said, suddenly much more animated by relief. “It feels like there’s a timer counting down on the place, right? I’m worried.”
“You know we could just buy a Slushie machine–”
“Ok moneybags,” he scoffed.
“Let’s see how much they are–” He shoved her hands with her phone down and reached over her to grab a bunch of bananas.
“I don’t care how much they actually are. It’s the principle of the matter. You don’t care about it anymore? I thought–”
“I care, I care,” she assured him.
He frowned, “Or does a Slushie machine not fit the style you want to impress–”
“What is up with you?” she asked. “You’re being all crabby and taking it out on me. What did I do?”
“I’m not–”
“I care about the Slushie machine,” she said. “I’m sorry you needed me here to grocery shop on Sunday and I wasn’t. I’m sorry I blew off the arcade weeks ago but I won’t do it again. Is there something else going on? Are you fighting with a girl? Did instagram suspend your account or something?”
“I have more going on in my life than instagram and fucking girls,” he grumbled. The bananas he had grabbed weren’t big enough so he grabbed a second bunch. They went through a lot of bananas.
“Ok, so tell me about it. What did I miss– you know what? Let’s go to the Starbucks and get something to snack on. Coffee or something. You want anything?”
“You don’t get a discount here,” he reminded.
“I know but this is an emergency. My treat.”
It was suspicious. It made him very suspicious but not so suspicious he wouldn’t accept a treat. So they bought a cookie to share and each got an iced caramel macchiato and fuck the sugar. Jungkook had to admit it did make things feel a little better as they returned to their shopping, side by side, sipping their little drinks. Just two roommates getting their weekly errands done with a nice pick-me-up.
“Ok,” she said. “Now back to what you were saying. Other stuff going on that’s bothering you right now.”
“Huh?”
“You said you have more going on than girls and instagram. News to me so spill, what’s the new thing,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at him, as she slurped her fucking straw into her mouth.
“Uh…”
“Hello? Earth to Kookoo brain?” When she pulled her drink away to speak, a drop of milk lingered on her lip and he had the sudden and overwhelming urge to just lean down and– ok, it was weird, but it was just the crazy impulse that flashed through him to lean down and lick it off her lip and– well, her mouth would be cold and sweet and milky right now, because of the drink and– he didn’t have a thing for milk or anything, just that her mouth would taste like creamy caramel right now–
“Oh my god, are you sick or something?”
“Sick,” he repeated, meaning his brain that would do that to him while he was talking to Alex of all people!
Ok brain, he realized now. I went too long without getting my balls drained. I get it. He hadn’t even jacked off in the last week! He was cranky and backed up. Alex was right about her assumption that he hadn’t gotten laid and that was probably why he was so sensitive about her weekend with Hoseok. It wasn’t like he actually resented her getting fu– sex. She could have been having sex all this time! He didn’t mind! He just thought she didn’t want it!
But also his brain needed to quit it with the phrase “Alex getting fucked” because it was just too much in the wrong direction. He thought Alex was probably a love-making type of girl, not a getting railed one. They had sex but he’d doubted they’d fucked. The reality of all the excitement over Hoseok, he decided, was that it had probably been pretty tame, mediocre sex, but she had such a low bar for what she should be asking for. He’d nudge her in the right direction to make sure her needs were actually getting met.
Someday.
Definitely not right now.
Her hands were on his face, invading his bubble to check for a fever.
“I’m fine,” he complained and batted her away, “Leave me alone, you’ll give me zits.”
“My hands are clean.”
“You’ve just been banana-handling!”
“Uh I have definitely washed my hands since– oh, you meant…” She trailed off with a loud laugh and bounced away to the next thing on their list: oranges. Obviously she knew the joke she’d made. Her usual brash humor made him grumble, but he quieted it behind a sip of the iced drink she’d bought for him.
When she turned around, she was holding two naval oranges there, but before Jungkook could think of what joke would sound normal and not weird because now he’d seen her nipples and new what her tits looked like in only a flimsy lavender top, she sighed,
“Remember that time May and her friends stuffed these things in their bathing suits and made fun of me?”
“Uh… no,” he lied.
“I still think about that sometimes,” she admitted. “That sucked. I was so jealous of her little AAs.”
“You shouldn’t be. They’re um, nice. You know. At any size.”
“You think mine are nice?” she asked, arching her eyebrow.
“Uh… I, um, objectively speaking–”
“Oh my god, I have a boyfriend,” she laughed. Then immediately sighed and shook her head, “Sorry, I know I’m being so fucking annoying about it right now.”
YEAH! He wanted to yell it but she kept going.
“I guess I just still can’t believe it and I figure I can talk to you about anything. Rebekah and Minxi are both kind of shy about sex stuff… and I’m not on In’am or Sabina’s hot-girl level so… besides I’ve listened to all your sexcapades for years, so I figure you owe me,” she laughed and cradled the oranges against her chest as she tried to tear off a produce bag with one hand. She’d done the whole thing backwards like an idiot.
But Jungkook couldn’t do and think at the same time, and this conversation had him so flustered because now he was remembering her in that lavender thing, he reached for the oranges instead of ripping off the bag which is what he’d meant to do. He grabbed both oranges but a big squish of her tit as well.
“Jungkook!” she gasped. “Right in front of the salad?!”
“Fuck, sorry, I– you can’t– just get the bag before you grab the–”
“Before I grab the what?” she laughed, clearly amused by the whole thing. Jungkook was mortified. He’d never felt mortified in front of Alex but he did right now –well, not since he was a teenager and realized she noticed the random boners he kept popping as puberty wreaked havoc on his system. Or that time he’d been practicing with condoms in high school and had one stuck to his sock and she’d noticed it when she came over. Or that time her car had turned on and grabbed the bluetooth connection to his phone and she’d seen the name of the porn he was in the middle of jacking off to. She’d texted him a picture and six laughing emojis. Ruined his orgasm.
“Oranges, you sick fuck,” he retorted. It came out harsher than he intended it.
But Alex crumpled against the stack of oranges, she burst into such whole-body laughter.
“Oh my god you’re such an asshole,” she howled. “What is wrong with you? Is this really what you’re like if you go a week without–”
“Ma’am, this is a family establishment,” he interrupted, to cut her off because there were children walking nearby but also because he saw a lifeline through to his normal self and reached for it. Of course! He could make outrageous jokes with her and it was fine! Why was he being so weird and cranky?! And how did she know it had been a week for him?!
“It’s so funny when you say shitty stuff with that baby face,” she giggled, wiping a tear from her watery eyes. She reached forward and held the bag open for him to chuck the oranges into. He couldn’t have explained why, but something about the intimacy of manhandling giant oranges into a crinkly bag she held was too much. They locked eyes over the bag of oranges and both started laughing again.
This felt better. Jungkook made sure to bump her around as he picked the best broccoli heads, and she hip-checked him out of the way to reach the ranch dressing, and then they bickered over whether to get normal Chef Boyardee or the healthy one without high fructose corn syrup in it.
“But the healthy one is gross,” she insisted. “You know what boobs are made of? High fructose corn syrup.”
“Yeah, so we don’t need it,” Jungkook argued.
Alex laughed and waved the can at him, “What’s this ‘we’?”
“We got plenty of boobs in the house.”
“Whose? Yours?”
“Mine are nice too! I mean I’m not parading around in a little gauzy purple thing but–”
“Maybe you should open your mind to it,” she said. “You could get a matching one! I got it at that store I made you go with me, the one at the mall–”
“Wait you bought that with me?”
“Yeah. Super sneaky so you wouldn’t see. Like faster than that black bra you helped me steal when we were–”
“Yeah I already know what you’re talking about, it’s not like we steal from Victoria's Secret every couple of months,” he assured her. “Literally the only time in my life I have stolen lingerie.”
“Now you just buy it, huh, Mr. Moneybags?”
“Who the fuck am I buying lingerie for?” he scoffed.
“I don’t know… anyway. Yeah, obviously I wasn’t going to tell you I was buying lingerie.”
“Yeah, obviously,” he scoffed. “You waited until we were home to show it to me. On your body.”
“All right all right, sorry if that was weird.”
He was at a decision point, he realized. The responses he could give fanned out before him like a dialogue tree in a video game. He could tease. He could deny. He could establish a boundary and make sure it never happened again.
He shrugged, “Nah, it wasn’t weird, it’s just fun to tease you about it. You were so nervous about something stupid!”
“My body is stupid, huh?!”
“No, that was my point. How you look in that kind of thing is stupid to worry about.”
“You sound like my mom. ‘You are beautiful Alex and any boy will know that!’ As if I need reassurance from boys to feel good about myself.”
“Yeah just me.”
“Just you and the boy I’m dating,” she agreed as she set things on the belt for him to ring up at the self check out. He opened a couple bags first so she’d be able to squeeze past him and bag while he paid. They’d split the total later.
Jungkook shrugged, “Eh don’t worry too much about him. Boyfriends are replaceable; I am not. Wait, did you show your mom the lingerie–”
“No, of course not! Oh my god, I have boundaries! Just not with you!”
“Ok, good,” he laughed. “Here shrimpie, put the ramen in that last bag so you can carry it. I thought we’d start putting it in the low cabinet so you can reach it with your little possum hands in the middle of the night.”
“You’re such a turd,” she huffed and punched him in the ass. Hard.
“Damnit, Namjoon!”
“Ahhhhh I just tried to help,” he whined. Alex sighed and grabbed chopsticks and began picking out the vanilla beans he had dumped from a jar he apparently thought was dehydrated garlic. Vanilla beans looked nothing like garlic.
“Even if that was garlic, why would you just blindly dump it into the pan?! Besides, we’re using fresh garlic,” Alex scolded.
Beside her Taehyung shook his head, “Don’t bother, Alex. He went from mom to wife, the dude never learned common cooking sense.”
“You guys, don’t be shit. I’m trying to learn.”
“Step one, always stop and think about what you’re doing,” Jimin said, only to squirm and laugh at Namjoon’s look of rage at being lectured by Jimin –Jimin who tended to be on rice maker duty. It was rich coming from Taehyung honestly too, who used to be helpless. But he’d literally taken crash cooking courses in the last three years to learn how to cook to impress the ladies, and it had worked! He’d caught Sabina with those cooking skills. Gotta respect the hustle!
Jungkook reached right over Alex’s head to pull another bowl out of the cabinet above her. It pressed her into the counter, a drawer knob digging right into her ribs.
“Careful, hot stuff here,” she pointed out to him.
“I know, I’m just getting a bowl.”
“I meant the dish.”
“Uh huh.”
“The food dish, not the me dish.”
He gave her a tight-lipped look, bowl now safely in his hands, and assured her, “Yeah. I got it.”
Jungkook did this a lot lately, just would suddenly get all sulky. She hadn’t been able to tease out whether something was up at work or he was just still in his dry spell or what. She’d checked his snap and insta to make sure no girls were bullying him but if they were, it wasn’t on his page. In the past it had never taken her long to crack him; just the right poke and he’d spill everything, sometimes flopped across her lap like a worn out puppy demanding comfort and attention.
Fortunately Jimin also noticed and teased, “Uh oh, baby’s in a bad mood?”
“I’m not your baby,” Jungkook frowned.
“Yeah, we know, you’re mine and you’re hungry and it’s making you cranky,” Alex joked. “Sorry guys, I forgot to feed the baby his afternoon snack before we came here… I know I’m responsible for him and I failed in my sacred duties… here, muffin, eat this.”
“Muffin…” he grumbled, but when she held a piece of chicken to his mouth, he deigned to eat it. His glare gave her the answer as he nodded, “Yeah, it’s good.”
“There, is that better? You just need food. You’ve barely touched your horny DMs. I didn’t see any thirst traps on snap yet tonight!”
“You’re such a something-something,” he laughed, and pretended like he was going to chop her in the stomach, but instead just chased after the piece of chicken she’d been going to feed herself with his mouth like a fish. It felt sort of like staging for a movie; the playful proximity would have been an easy set up to just dart forward and kiss.
If it was Hoseok! Obviously! She wasn’t kissing anyone else! It was just a funny situation, and the premise distracted her long enough he was able to take the chicken after all and give her a smug grin about it.
“The marinade came out good?” Namjoon asked him. Alex had been the one to make it and she awaited Jungkook’s review.
“Yeah, it’s good. We should serve it with the green beans though so there’s some crunch, the chicken isn’t crispy on its own.”
“Yeah, can you saute those? I think Minxi already trimmed them.”
“Yep, right here! My work is done,” she beamed, and handed over the bowl and simply walked away.
Alex set the next batch of dumplings to steam and left the boys to keep an eye on it and wandered off after Minxi. Hobi wouldn’t be here until later; he was staying longer at work to cover for a barista who’d had a last minute family emergency. Hobi always covered; it was sweet and a reminder how much he loved his career, even if it bummed Alex out sometimes that it often meant moved dates or plans. He wasn’t a brain surgeon or something! But she also respected his work ethic.
On the bright side, they’d been dating long enough now that he felt comfortable casually adjusting their plans. It’s not like he had missed anything important! Not that there had been anything important to miss yet but still.
The kitchen was loud anyway and she wanted to just hang out; it’s why she and Jungkook had come early to this dinner party, which was Namjoon’s attempts to take control of the way everyone kept showing up at his house and turn the affairs into less drinking and something more sophisticated. He’d begged them to cook. He wanted to learn.
“Hey are the rumors true Namjoon already started seeing someone?” she whispered to Sabina and In’am.
“What do you mean already?” Sabina answered. “His divorce is finalized! There’s not some magic time he needs to wait.”
“No, I know! I just meant… because he just started looking,” Alex quickly covered her tracks. She thought there was an amount of time you needed to wait before people would whisper about you behind your back…
Exactly like this.
“I think it’s great,” Alex insisted. “I just meant i thought he’d fuck around more before he wanted to bring someone home to us.”
“Some people aren’t fuck-arounds,” Rebeka shrugged. “Some of us are lifers.”
“Yeah totally.” Alex paused, thoughtful, then frowned, “I guess I’m a lifer? Are those my only options?”
“What other options do you want?” Minxi prodded.
“I don’t know,” Alex said quickly, because she didn’t understand how they had gotten here or what was even being talked about. She guessed she was a lifer –she didn’t date around, and certainly didn’t fuck around. But at the same time, it wasn’t like she was already thinking of marrying Hoseok. Well, maybe she’d daydreamed about that earlier, before they started dating. Shit, that didn’t sound right! All her internal thoughts meant was that once Hoseok became a very real guy she was dating, those kinds of fantasies felt a little embarrassing because it felt like she was getting ahead of herself. They’d had a great time in Lakeville and had a couple of dates out or hung out at his place many times since then, they’d had more great sex, things were going great! If they wound up married… well, that would be great! But she wasn’t already really thinking of marriage! She’d basically be a child bride!
“Are you… hyperventilating?” In’am asked, leaning in closer and pressing her hand familiarly to Alex’s jaw.
“I’m just not quite ready to get married yet. I don’t know how you’re doing it. I mean I know you’re older than me but…”
In’am shared a laugh with Sabina, which Minxi and Rebekah awkwardly parroted as well, before assuring her, “That might be a little fast. Do you feel like your relationship is going too fast?”
“No! No, I just am sweating from these questions. Why are we talking about this again? I thought we were going to gossip about Namjoon’s romantic life?”
“Unfortunately I don’t think any of us know anything,” Rebekah sighed and let her chin fall onto her hand. “Where do people keep meeting people? I feel like I have zero prospects unless I want to– no, don’t you say it,” she warned Minxi, holding a finger up.
“Now she has to say.”
“You showed me that dating app you were on…”
Alex was relieved when attention turned that way. She felt like she’d made some mistake without even understanding it. Looking around the circle, she wondered if it meant she was spending too much time with dudes lately. Most of her freetime was with Hoseok and whatever remained was kind of just at home with Jungkook. Maybe she needed to carve out time for more than just texting and the occasional dinner with these girls…
Her phone chirped in her pocket and she yanked it out to see a message from Hoseok saying he was swinging by his place to shower before he came over –understandable since the mocha and espresso tended to seep into your hair and skin while you worked. Her friends were used to her smelling like coffee and chocolate but Hoseok was very particular about how he smelled and looked. No shiny face, no powder behind the ears, and definitely no smelling like work.
There were also notifications for etsy, Tumblr, ebay, Twitter, and Snapchat. She dismissed most of them but opened Snap because the notif mentioned Jungkook was someone who’d shared something. What could he possibly be snapping while he cooked just in the other room?
The selfie had Jungkook looking dramatically to the side, showing Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon in the background with the caption: me and bros cooking dinner for some lucky bitches
A next photo showed Jungkook twisting his shirt into his fist to more clearly show the outline of his shoulder and chest muscles and a little bit of skin above his shorts, a few hairs of the treasure trail he’d once admitted to her he wished was more manly and thicker. Taehyung had noticed the photo being taken; he was looking over his shoulder at Jungkook, grinning, devilishly handsome, a casual upstage to Jungkook’s try-hard fuckboy antics. And yet Alex’s attention lingered on her dumb friend. Why was he posting suddenly? Because she’d teased him about horny DMs?
Alex leaned in close to Rebekah and pouted her lips and threw up a peace sign for a photo as Rebekah quickly played along without knowing what for. What a good sport. Alex didn’t often post anything to Snapchat but added it now with the caption: it’s us. We bitches.
“Hey,” Rebekah complained, seeing it.
“You don’t want to be JK’s bitch?”
“Obviously not,” Rebekah scoffed but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Alex obviously didn’t comment. She had hoped Rebekah’s little crush on Jungkook would fade in time as she saw more of his fuckboy antics, but either Rebekah was intrigued by his behavior –so very different than any guy she’d ever dated– or she’d been able to see the charming, likable greasy Shrek behind the fuckboy antics.
Shrek. Yeah. He was definitely a Shrek.
At the same time her photo posted, Jungkook posted another, holding a spoon of sauce towards the phone camera, eyebrow cocked, tongue pressed to form a bulge in the side of his mouth: want to taste?
Now she laughed and leaned close to show Rebekah, who was whining wanting to know what was going on.
“It’s just a mouthful of sauce,” Alex snickered.
“Um… I think he means cum.”
Alex didn’t know what was funnier, hearing Rebekah say ‘cum’ or Rebekah thinking Alex didn’t get the joke.
“Yeah but just eating a mouthful of that sauce would be gross, so he’s making it seem like a mouthful of his cum would also be gross–”
“Wouldn’t it be?” Minxi asked. “Isn’t a mouthful of anyone’s pretty gross? I realize I’m outing myself here but–”
In’am shrugged, “You get used to it. If you swallow quickly you don’t have to deal with the mouthful part.”
“Or just let it dribble down your chin if you don’t like the taste or texture in your mouth,” Sabina suggested, dragging a finger down her chin. “They like that.”
“All of them?” Rebekah clarified.
“All of them,” Sabina nodded.
Alex made a mental note. She had not given Hoseok a blowjob yet, worried about messing up their enjoyable sex by showing too much of her inexperience too quickly. Hoseok hadn’t seemed bothered at all when she’d admitted she didn’t have vast experience. While he didn’t exactly disclose his own –maybe for the best– he was patient and vocal when she did something he liked. Obviously it was time to step it up soon though, right? He’d gone down on her. She didn’t want him to start thinking she was never going to return the favor, and it would probably take her some time to get good at it!
Obviously she had lied to Jungkook about it when he’d started to tease that she let Hoseok do all the work. And now she was paranoid about it! Damnit, she needed to blow her boyfriend and soon so he wouldn’t be thinking the same thing.
“What are you guys talking about?” Jungkook asked, suddenly leaning down on his forearms on the couch between Alex and Rebekah.
“Your gross cum,” Alex smiled at him.
“It’s definitely not gross.”
“It is though.”
“I don’t think you know anything about it,” he retorted.
“I know what cum is like,” she cried defensively, hitting his arm to try and knock him off the couch.
“Not mine.”
“It’s not special,” she returned.
“This is a lot,” Minxi murmured. “They’re weird, aren’t they?”
“Yes, they’re weird,” In’am assured her. “Nothing new here.”
“The results of the science experiment when a boy and a girl live together platonically for too long…”
“Hey,” Jungkook said, turning his glare to Minxi. “We’re golden.”
“Yeah? You’ve adapted to your new dad?”
“Hobi and I get along fine,” Jungkook said and Alex wondered if it sounded like a lie to anyone else. They still had not spent any real time together since that failed arcade date except for a couple awkward evenings watching tv at the apartment that Jungkook had mostly left during the middle of anyway. Booty calls or whatever.
It wasn’t that they didn’t get along, but she got the distinct feeling from things he said and did that Jungkook still expected Hoseok to be uppity or patronizing or something, just because he was older and had a corporate job, even though he’d given up that corporate job! She thought he was kind of threatened by Hoseok. She understood Jungkook masked shyness and insecurity behind the fuckboy antics but she didn’t see what that had to do with Hoseok! Hobi was definitely not doing anything to try to make Jungkook feel bad about himself.
Hoseok happened to walk through the door right that second and Jungkook shouted, “Speak of the devil! Hey man, glad you could make it!” He turned and went right up to Hobi and threw his arms around her bemused, slightly stunned boyfriend. Of course Hoseok returned the hug, even wrapped his arms tighter around Jungkook and squeezed, as if this was a perfectly normal greeting.
“J-kaaay,” he cheered. “How’s it going, man? Hey, did you find out about that commission competition yet?”
Jungkook’s face lit up, “Oh, Alex told you about that? Yeah, dude, I fucking won!”
“Hey hey, winner J-kaaay,” Hoseok grinned and they high-fived.
Alex sighed and covered her face and slumped down on the couch as all four girls laughed at what they were seeing. It wasn’t that it was fake; obviously Jungkook and Hoseok were both good people and knew they needed to get along for her sake. It just felt like a performance though.
“Yeah, JK is getting along great with his new dad,” she grumbled.
“It takes time,” wise In’am assured her. “At least they’re trying.”
Trying here meant that Jungkook was talking Hoseok’s ear off and he hadn’t even gotten to say hello to Alex yet. It was cute he was so excited about winning after being second each time for like two years now, but couldn’t he wait five minutes?
“Hey, he’s my boyfriend, let me say hi,” she pouted in their direction. Hoseok was still smiling and nodding at what Jungkook said, but came closer to bend down over the back of the couch and kiss her on the cheek. Just the right level of PDA she felt comfortable with in front of her friends.
“--anyway, it’s a nice little payout,” Jungkook said, unbothered. “Maybe I’ll take someone special up to Lakeville now, huh? You can give me some pointers.”
“I think we like different things,” Hoseok told him. Which was kind of a weird response, Alex thought. Jungkook must have thought so too because he immediately stopped talking and tilted his head, eyebrows pinched.
“Do we?”
“He means he gets seasick on the water,” Alex suggested, not sure if that was actually what Hoseok had meant. But it must have been! “But you love the water.”
“Oh, yeah, I do.”
“Hey JK,” Namjoon called. “Something’s not looking right… can you come look?”
“Oh, yeah– hey, why don’t you come too, Hobi? We could use another guy in there who knows what he’s doing.”
“Oh I don’t actually know anything about cooking,” Hoseok admitted, cheeks appling up like when he was bashful about something.
“Oh, I thought Alex was always saying the food at your place–”
“My roommate is great.”
“Yeah, Seokjin is amazing, we should bring him over next time, actually!” Alex agreed.
Jungkook nodded, “Yeah yeah. Ok well, we could use your help in the kitchen.” He shrugged and walked off, but the request was clear.
Hoseok gave Alex a warm smile, an obvious I’m doing this for you message embedded, and waved, “Ladies, nice to see you. I will talk more after I have assisted the men.”
“Good luck.”
“Watch out for Namjoon or Taehyung with knives, for different reasons!”
“Wait, what?”
But he went anyway, and Alex realized she’d been tense for no reason. Hoseok was going to have no problem fitting in here; he already did! He would just be the new guy for a little longer but if Namjoon had some new friend he was going to bring by, Hoseok would then be just another one of the group. That made her really happy to think of. She thought Hoseok’s friends were great, but they did spend more time with them than with her own, and she’d like to be able to go back and forth, or even mingle them!
Mingling was nice. Alex liked not having to choose. She loved that when they all sat down at tables or on the couch to finally eat the food, Hoseok was right there in the middle of conversations. She liked that he had a good memory and would ask people about things they’d mentioned before. He was just so social compared to her. She wasn’t as good at that kind of thing, she just kind of hung back until she found her place, but Hoseok knew how to mold a group. He had such an easy time finding things to talk about with everyone. He was just really so great! He didn’t even fuss when Taehyung and Jungkook teased him during cleanup for suggesting they boil the forks to get the tines really clean.
“It can be hard to wash in between,” he explained.
Namjoon waved his hand, “Nah, it’s good, I have a dishwasher.”
“Ah, ok, but handwashed is cleaner… ok, if you say so!” Hoseok laughed and stepped aside as In’am, Sabina, and Rebekah loaded things up.
“Hobi and Jin keep their place very clean,” Alex explained. “He’s the pro at knowing how to clean anything.”
“So how exactly does that work with you?” Jimin teased.
“I’m not dirty!”
“No comment,” Hoseok grinned, then seemed to realize he had made a different joke than he meant to as Jungkook choked on his saliva and leaned heavily against the counter like he’d been shot and didn’t know whether to cry or puke. “No no I was just trying to make a joke about– nevermind. Nevermind!”
“Adorable,” Sabina snickered. “You two are so cute.”
“He’s rubbing off on you. I thought your room looked a lot cleaner than it used to–”
“No one better be rubbing off on anyone in my house,” Namjoon said to a chorus of boo’s and shoves. Alex grimaced but held back the need to apologize to Hoseok for her crude friends. That’s how they were. She thought they were funny! He’d never seemed too bothered by it anyway.
Suddenly Jungkook reached forward and wrapped his arms around Hoseok, agreeing, “Yeah, man, you gotta be good with Alex, none of that kind of stuff.”
“Hey, you don’t know what I’m into!” Alex jokingly defended. But it was lost, because now Hoseok and Jungkook were both laughing about… Jungkook being her brother and he needed to defend her? They were sort of play-wrestling? Just right in the middle of the kitchen. It was so… weird. She felt like she’d missed something important.
Alex shared a grimace with Minxi and Taehyung. Gross. Had she really understood that right?
“Ok, whatever you weirdos, let’s go do… something else,” she said, trying to wedge her way between them. It was hard to break them up at first and then they were both laughing from the hug-tussle. “You’re both really fucking weird right now.”
“No no,” Hoseok insisted. “Am I flushed? I only had one glass of wine –I’m a lightweight,” he confessed to her friends.
“I’m not,” Jungkook announced proudly.
“Yeah but you’re on your fourth beer or something,” Taehyung pointed out, handing him the bottle.
“Third. I’ve gotta be up early for the gym before work…” Jungkook patted his belly, whether to check the beer volume or fondle his own abs.
“Why are you having three beers at a dinner party?” she scolded.
“Uh, to celebrate my commission win? The guys get it,” he told her, waving his hand to dismiss her and turning to clink his beer bottle with Jimin’s. Alex did not like that dismissal.
“Yeah, right, not like I made you some brownies to celebrate or anything,” she huffed, because she had. Pot brownies. They didn’t do that kind of thing often but it was celebration and they were supposed to enjoy those together soon but if he was going to be weird suddenly–
“Hey baby, I know, don’t pout at me about it. We said tomorrow!”
Hoseok suddenly choked on his water beside her. She turned and pounded on his back until he’d stopped coughing.
“You ok?” she asked.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m great,” Hoseok nodded. “I’ll get some more water I think– were we going to watch a comedy show or something–”
“I’ll get the water,” Alex told him, Jungkook forgotten as she took his glass. “Go get us seats before the other couples take all the good ones.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll clear off the love seat for the three of us,” Jungkook said, backhanding Hoseok in the stomach and taking off.
Within seconds they were alone in the kitchen, and Hoseok leaned close and asked, “Hey uh… does he always call you ‘baby’?”
“Huh?” The retort came out obnoxious sounding even to her own ears.
“He just called you baby and used this… voice…”
“Oh.” Alex rolled her eyes hard. “Yeah, he does that to mock me, goes into his little fuckboy lines. Don’t worry about that, it’s just him being stupid.”
“Ah, ok.”
“You ok snuggling with me while we watch this? Sometimes I laugh too loud… that really witchy one…”
“Remember who you’re dating, baby,” he assured her, his smile taking up his face again as he leaned down to kiss her. “I like that laugh!”
“Oh I remember who I’m dating. I have a midday shift tomorrow…”
“Oh? How convenient… I don’t work until late too…”
“Guys!’
“Guys you’re going to miss it!”
“They’re kissing, leave them alone.”
Jungkook’s voice was clear, “Hey assholes, get your booties in here or I’m farting on all your seats!”
“Does he really get laid all the time?” Hoseok asked.
“Bitches be dumb,” Alex snickered, then quickly clarified, “I don’t mean that seriously, obviously their poor taste is not necessarily a reflection on their intelligence or their worth as people.”
Hoseok laughed all the way to the couch with her, arm around her waist. Jungkook had indeed saved them the two spaces to wedge in with him on the loveseat, though Alex had to shove his legs out of the way. It was a cozy fit for three people, to say the least.
“This only works because you’re the size of a peanut,” he told her.
“Curves of one too,” Hoseok added.
“I will murder you both–”
“Hey-o!” Jungkook laughed and held his hand up for Hoseok to high-five. After a brief hesitation, he did. Jimin started to laugh into In’am’s shoulder and she curled him against her and patted his back,
“There there, babe, the comedy special hasn’t even started yet.”
The comedy special was funny. Alex laughed. Not always sincerely, because she was literally wedged in between two boisterous loud laughing guys who kept jostling each other around her. But she enjoyed it! She was just also glad when it was over and she could squeeze out like toothpaste as anyone who’d stayed for the whole thing gathered their stuff to head out. Namjoon was barely awake in the chair, which was kind of endearing. Sleepy grandpa.
“I’ll follow you home?” Alex asked, nudging Hoseok playfully in the chest. “You ok to drive?”
“Ah, I was optimistic, a friend actually dropped me here, I don’t have my car…” Hoseok admitted, not looking sorry about it.
“Wait, I need a ride home,” Jungkook said, grabbing her arm. “I came with you.”
“Ok you can take my– no, you can’t drive,” she sighed. He nodded, then shook his head. Not trashed or anything, but definitely not going to be driving himself home. Also why should she pay for a cab just so he could borrow her car? That was a dumb suggestion.
“Ok… guess we’re dropping JK at my place first.”
“Would you rather stay at your place?” Hoseok asked.
“Oh. no, we don’t have to– I know you aren’t as comfortable at my place…” They said their goodbyes and headed out, Jungkook trailing silently behind.
“I don’t mind.”
“You’ve never spent the night at my place. Jungkook snores.”
“Close enough to hear?!”
“It was a joke…”
“Ah…”
“Slumber party?” Jungkook asked, suddenly slinging his arms around their shoulders. Or trying to. The height difference left him lop-sided and they all stumbled down the concrete steps to Alex’s car on the curb.
“Yes, but not one you’re invited to, babe,” she teased, poking him hard in the ribs.
“Really? Lame. I’ve got a full poker chip set and a sweet deck of cards, we could play for jellybeans– me and Alex have matching kigurumi.”
She’d wanted to make a joke about how she and Hoseok would be fucking soon but she chickened out and just scolded, “Close your mouth and get into the backseat.”
“Fuck yeah.”
“No not fuck yeah,” she laughed. “God, you are sick! You’re back there alone.”
“Uh huh, ok–”
“Don’t you have a girl to call if you’re lonely?”
“Nah, I think your snap about being the bitch I was cooking for scared them all off tonight,” he lamented as he flopped down into it, shoving her jackets and a beachball and an overflowing bag out of the way. She didn’t have backseat passengers often.
“Didn’t I just send that to you?!”
“Nah, and I added it to mine.”
“Why?!”
“Dunno, man,” Jungkook said and stretched and yawned. “Take me home!”
Alex shook her head but Hoseok was smiling and had his phone out, already sorting through for some music to listen to. That seemed like a great idea. If Jungkook kept rambling, they’d just turn the volume up.
He didn’t, and she actually thought he fell asleep back there, but when she’d glance through the rearview mirror, he was just staring out the window, mouthing along to the lyrics, streetlights flickering across his face.
**
Jungkook thought it would be less annoying to have Hoseok spend the night at their place rather than have Alex off doing who knew what at his. But it wasn’t less annoying to know they were in her bedroom fucking. He hated that he knew that, even though he couldn’t hear anything from his bedroom.
It was the alcohol, he knew that. He’d had four beers in a couple hours and while he had a high tolerance, he didn’t know why he’d done that. It just made sense at the time.
And now Hoseok was fucking her and tomorrow Jungkook would go to ask Alex something and she’d be sitting on the edge of the bed she’d been recently fucked in and that just bothered him right now. She better change her sheets immediately. He kept his sheets clean for the times she came in and threw herself down on his bed and started snacking or talking or both. Maybe he wasn’t the cleanest guy about everything but he kept his bed clean. He wasn’t going to make Alex roll around in the sweat and sex of another woman.
He couldn’t hear anything. Were the walls really that sound-proof or was she quiet? Was sex the only time of her life Alex was quiet? That was a joke. Or maybe Hoseok just wasn’t as good at this as Alex thought. She had a low bar. There must be a way to make her scream–
Jesus. This dry spell had to end. Jungkook got out of bed and paced his bedroom just to move. It was not normal to be this bothered knowing your friend was getting railed in her bed just a few yards away. Good for her! He’d said that before! He’d say it again! Alex deserved that– a happy relationship, good sex. She was his best friend! He wanted all those things for her!
He just didn’t want to lose her, that was all. He knew what people were like once they got partners. If this continued on, at some point she and Hobi would move in together. They’d get married. Jungkook would get left behind and even if he and Alex stayed friends, he knew it would be different. Hobi would be the first one she called to tell things. Hobi would be the one she bickered with about Chef Boyardee. She wouldn’t want the same intimacy she’d had with Jungkook before because she’d have someone new, and he’d have to put up some wider boundaries so as not to cause problems for her, because not everyone could apparently respect their friendship. Some might be threatened by it. Like Hoseok’s reaction when Jungkook had called her baby earlier. It had made Jungkook want to call her baby a thousand more times, right there, and wrap his arms around his gremlin peanut roommate from hell like he always had been able to without issue, and ask if Hoseok had liked that little purple thing because Jungkook had seen it first and knew exactly how banging–
Goddamnit, what was happening to his brain right now? He should have known Alex getting a boyfriend was going to mess with his head. She was his best friend and he liked their life together and in all honesty he wanted to cry at the thought she was taking a step further from him every day she dated Hoseok. That was the truth. Right now he was pacing his room because there were parts of her life he’d never get to be the closest to her in –namely the one that was happening with her boyfriend right now, but other ones too, romantic ones, marriage ones, this whole life she would have with Hoseok– while she didn’t think of him twice because she was busy getting happily split open by Hoseok’s dick– god, he hoped Hoseok didn’t have a big dick the injustice of it would be too much–
Jungkook left his room under the guise of needing to use the bathroom. It was between their rooms. In the dark, he accidentally wandered too far and had to double back. There were no lights under her door and he couldn’t hear anything, and he realized he was stupid, they’d probably already finished, or maybe not even done anything. But obviously they did do things, even if not right here. But there was something comforting about knowing they weren’t doing things right now–
“Oh.” It was the smallest, softest moan by the time it reached his ears. In all honesty, Jungkook wasn’t even sure he’d heard it. Maybe his brain had made it up.
It didn’t matter. Vague images tried to flash through his mind. He replaced them with women he’d fucked, and turned heel and ran back to his room, and grabbed his phone to see who was awake, or who he could meet up with this weekend. He was not going to be weird and lonely while Alex got her brains fucked out every day by her perfect boyfriend. His unintentional off-week had him frustrated and it was making him crazy, he knew that. His brain was mixing up frustrations right now and that was bad bad bad. He should have known this would happen, but he had a hard rule about Alex, and that was that he did not let his brain just pull her into filthy fantasies or use her like that. If he needed a release, there were plenty of women to find who were game for that, and Alex was protected because she was special and had a special place in his life. So if his cock wanted to try and fuck with him right now, reaching for that moan in the dark, he’d just have to stuff it somewhere eles and quickly.
Like the fleshlight Alex had bought him as a birthday gag gift years ago that only saw occasional use. Only in an emergency. Because no one was fucking answering his messages tonight, like none of them went out on a Wednesday night ever! 11:30 was not too late for a booty call!
So maybe Hoseok got a moan out of Alex. So what? Good for her. The fleshlight she’d got him might be a poor replacement for a real woman but it got way more than one moan out of him.
Jungkook groaned as his dick slotted neatly into Geneva’s pussy. He could hear her sigh of relief through his own because for a hot second there it had looked like things were not going to be successful. He’d done a decent job masking the betrayal of his dick with enough foreplay to make her cum once already, but his wrist was cramped up and his lips were getting chapped from making out and the whole point of this was supposed to be draining the dam. He never had to make out with a girl for that long these days!
“There, there, that’s good,” he murmured, grasping her hips and rolling her on top of him. Geneva was particularly good on top, her rhythms always worked him good and her thighs lasted just long enough before they’d start trembling. He loved the look of that, trembling thighs. Her tits jiggled as she rocked, keeping his attention from her grinning face or the way her mouth hung open to make these little ‘oh oh oh’ sighs. Good, this was good!
This was not good. Even as he leaned into the feeling of pleasure, he could feel himself sliding out of her, too limp to stay upright. She noticed it pretty quickly too and slid off him and leaned down to spit and suck, but he could feel her frustration in the sharp suck around his head.
“K, baby, all good,” he said, nudging her head away as it started to hurt.
She pulled off with a pop and sighed, “You’re too drunk.”
“Maybe…”
Yeah, that was true. He was too drunk. Whiskey dick and all that. He’d lost track of how many he had at the bar with Nate and Geneva and a few other coworkers. They never went out, but when he’d sent out a text to some of the colleagues he could tolerate saying he’d buy the first round, all seven had shown up.
That had felt good, to look around the table as people upended their shots. He had friends! Friend who weren’t just Taehyung and Jimin in their happy relationships and Namjoon with his fresh new romance already and Alex with her–
She was out with Hoseok again tonight, he was pretty sure. Two nights bookending the one evening he’d gotten with her this week. This would be a trend now. He’d get one evening a week for a while, and then one a month, and then no evenings. At least if it had been a perfect evening, that would have been something! It was so damn close!
Geneva pushed away and went to pee. Jungkook just lay there for a moment, giving his cock one last chance to rally. It did not, no surprise when he couldn’t think of anything sexy at the moment, just his lazy evening with Alex. They’d eaten the last of the brownies she’d made to celebrate his commission win, lamenting how stale they were until it became funny. They’d splurged on a cab ride to the arcade to keep Thursday tradition up and laughed at their own disrupted game performances, the distraction of twinkling lights, the funnier-than-usual antics of their air hockey matches. They’d caught another cab home, arm wrestling, or really just flat out wrestling in the back seat over which snacks they’d DoorDash, another splurge Jungkook was willing to fund with his commission bonus. He’d bought them all anyway, anything Alex had asked for, but she’d gotten kind of annoyed with him when he’d said something about it he couldn’t really remember now. He didn’t remember what it was. But it hadn’t lasted long because Alex had always been infinitely patient with him and then they were wrestling on the couch to figure out what movie to watch and Jungkook did remember that he had thought if I was Alex’s boyfriend I would not want her wrestling like this with me knowing how much I like it. That had made him laugh but the buzz was wearing off enough not to say that to her and instead they’d watched a movie.
But then, when he’d told her to come sleep in his bed if she wanted… she had said no. She didn’t think that was ok to do anymore now that she had a boyfriend.
It was awkward to get rejected by Alex for something he hadn’t thought was anything wrong. And painful. It sucked.
Probably she was right. He could see how she was right. He had just thought the same thing, hadn’t he?
But it also wasn’t right. He was Jungkook. She was Alex. Shouldn’t a boyfriend just have to accept that?
And he’d seen so clearly suddenly the crumbling of everything he had with her as one thing after another was wrong because she had a boyfriend now and someday there would be nothing left, as soon as she and Hobi realized how much it all meant to him.
That’s what he’d been thinking last night. And those same thoughts came to him tonight as the whiskey poured. And now he lay in the bed of the only sexy female coworker he had, and he’d failed to fuck her good, and that was definitely going to be whispered about at work. His reputation, gone. Alex, gone. She’d even admitted Hoseok didn’t like that Jungkook called her ‘baby.’ Like how fucking threatened was this guy?! He got Alex! Wasn’t that enough? Did he have more demands to make? He needed to just take everything away from Jungkook?
He pushed up and grabbed his pants, at which point Geneva returned and asked without any sadness in her voice, “Oh are you going?”
“Yeah sorry I don’t want to be here anymore,” he answered, then, “Shit. I mean… uh… sorry I got too drunk, maybe another time…”
“It’s ok, you were good with your hand tonight so that’s… something…”
He had a hard time concentrating on her face right now. Everything was kind of blurry and tilting. He stumbled out of her apartment before realizing he still needed to call a cab to take him home because he’d left his car at the bar. Maybe Alex could take him to get it tomorrow. If she was still allowed to now that she’d been dating a guy for three months or four months or whatever it was.
Actually Jungkook knew exactly how long it had been and he hated that his brain remembered things like that but couldn’t remember why he’d unlocked his phone. To get a cab. Right. But he got distracted by Instagram and looked at that and started walking. No posts from Alex about whatever she and Hoseok had done tonight which meant it either wasn’t special or wasn’t the kind of thing you should post on social media about.
He stumbled upon a little park down the road from Geneva’s apartment and even though it was late and he might get mugged, he just walked. It’d suck for the person who tried to mug him anyway; he felt outside of his own body, invincible, he’d love the excuse to beat the shit out of something or someone! And then he’d go home and sulk about it and Alex would freak the fuck out and coddle him and he’d have to pretend to hate it, all of her attention focused on him, the way she’d push his hair back and talk to him like he was a baby because she thought he thought that was funny, and he did think it was funny! Wait, when had he stopped thinking it was a funny joke? The way her tits would dangle in his face and she’d probably press her knee into his spleen as she’d try to adjust the pillows around him. Because in this scenario he was like a Union soldier in the civil war or something apparently. Just as quickly his brain decided they were in an anime instead and her nursing outfit was not leaving much to the–
What was with him lately? Jungkook was glad he was too drunk to feel things right now or he’d be really freaked out by his own inability to get her out of his head lately. He’d had to tuck all of his thoughts about her relationship and his jokes and snide comments and whatever away, because by now he’d had multiple friends tell him he was seeming possessive of her. He wasn’t! He understood she could go meet Prince Charming! He wasn’t surprised Hoseok was falling head over heels in love with Alex! He wasn’t even that surprised Alex was falling in love with Hoseok too because to make it all even more disgusting, Hoseok seemed like a genuinely good guy! And here was Jungkook walking out on a girl he worked with and would have to see again because he couldn’t even keep his dick hard. He was losing, and losing his best friend, and he just didn’t like to lose, and extra didn’t want to lose his best friend.
He pulled his phone out and called her, knowing she wouldn’t answer. He was going to leave her a drunk rambling text message because she’d think it was funny. Maybe tomorrow when she woke up in the arms of Hoseok Jung and decided to finally check her phone to see if her best friend had suffered any debilitating embarrassment or emergencies.
Instead she answered on the second ring, her voice as clear and solid as Jungkook didn’t feel right now, “Koo? Why are you calling me, what’s wrong?”
“I can just call you.”
“Uh….”
“I’m just walking. You know?”
“No, I don’t know,” she said. He adored the suspicion in her voice. “Why are you calling me? Is something wrong? Oh!” She gasped, interrupting as he started to answer. “Is this one of those situations where you need me to make an emergency so you can leave?”
“I already left.”
“Oh.”
“I’m just walking. I’m in a park…”
“Are you ok? Are you high?”
“No. Wait but yes. Uh, ok yes, high no? But drunk yes. Hey Alex can I have a ride or are you fucking?”
“What?”
“Yeah?”
“Jungkook,” she sighed, but in an amused way, like she thought he was funny. “Yeah, I’ll come get you, where are you? Send me your location.”
“Ok. Thanks ba— baloo? Baby beluga.”
“Shut up, I’ll be there in like ten minutes. Don’t get mugged.”
Trying not to call her baby made him want to do it more. Unironically calling her baby. Calling her baby not just because she was the size of one but also because she acted like one– no but also because it made her mad sometimes, if she was trying to do something and frustrated and he called her baby, or because she laughed when he tried to use fuckboy lines on her, which never worked anyway. Worked in the sense of getting her to fuck him. Not that he was trying to get her to fuck him. Alex wasn’t the kind of girl he could just fuck and forget about and she wasn’t the kind of girl who found someone like him actually charming and that was fine, he wasn’t trying to fuck her, he had blocked that whole possibility from his brain years ago.
Look, once upon a time, Jungkook had been a teenage boy, with a teenage girl best friend who was the coolest, funniest person he’d ever met. They liked all the same things. He felt understood by her. She’d had a lot to say at the time about how much she hated her flat hair or her brown eyes or her weight or her big boobs or whatever but Jungkook was just a simple teenage boy who thought she was cute and funny and special. And also obviously big tits were a positive thing. And there had been a moment in time when he’d thought about how he probably should just date and marry Alex because she seemed like the perfect girl to him –they’d made a joke about it actually and then their moms took it way too seriously.
Because there was a really important thing missing in that Alex wasn’t interested in dating him. At first he’d thought maybe Alex just didn’t want to date anyone, but she’d dated a few guys, she’d had a few crushes, she’d even had sex with Yoongi. That all seemed to prove it wasn’t dating, it was him, especially now that she was with Hoseok and fucking all the time and not asexual like he’d convinced himself. He knew she could be shy about guys but she wasn’t shy with him so that wasn’t some secret issue. She loved him, he felt loved by her, in the the most platonic friend way possible. That was precious to him. He knew, even as a teenager, that it was not worth risking that for a what if with an obvious result.
Anyway, being desired was important to him! He needed that! No matter how much he wanted to protect his life with Alex, he knew it could never be complete, not because of sex but becaues of desire. Shallow desire meets deep desire. That was what the goal was for those long term relationships, right? He got all the shallow desire he needed from the women he hooked up with, but it never had that deeper level, and that’s why he was called a fuckboy. Meanwhile Namjoon and his ex married young and in love and stopped having sex long before they gave up on the relationship, maybe that was the opposite.
He and Alex had the deeper desire in spades, he thought, but he could count on his fingers the number of times she’d ever said something sincerely nice about his appearance. She usually made it sound like she couldn’t really understand why other women thought he was hot and ok, maybe it hurt his feelings sometimes but he was shielded by having realized that as a teenager and he was fine with it. Alex was his best friend and honestly that was even rarer and more precious to him than any girlfriend.
He kept thinking the word precious. He thought it was a funny word to use but his brain seemed to be hiccuping with it now, so that when Alex ran up to him, he slung his arm around her shoulder and announced,
“My precious is here!”
“Is that a Gollum reference? You fucking nerd.”
“Don’t go into the park alone, it’s dark,” he said, grinning down at her. “Damn you’re short.”
“Hey! You’re just weird and tall.”
“I wish I was tall,” he sighed. “Maybe in my next life.”
“Nah you’ll probably be shorter because of all your bad deeds.”
“I do the deed good. You don’t know.”
“Is that what you were doing tonight?” she prodded. “Good deeds? Bad deeds?”
“I failed the deed,” he sighed. Then, “You don’t need to know.”
“Yeah I don’t need to know, “ she laughed.
“Did you do the deed? Wait no don’t tell me, I don’t need to know.”
“Yeah, you don’t need to know,” she parroted again. “But what are you so drunk for?”
“Did you leave your boyfriend when I called?”
“Nah. Well, yeah, but I was already heading home anyway, I’ve got an early shift tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
She turned him around, clearly guiding him back to her car, but she held his wrist so his arm stayed around her.
“Were you just out partying? What happened?” Suddenly her voice got very serious as she asked, “Are you… ok? Did something happen?”
“Are you asking if someone took advantage of me?”
“Yeah. Don’t laugh! That can happen to guys too! And I will kill, I’m low to the ground, they’ll never see it coming in their high heels–”
“I like short girls too,” he argued.
“Then it’ll be hand to hand combat, we’ll grapple to the death– ok don’t look so happy about it, we won’t be in jell-o.”
“At least in mud?”
“You don’t want to see that.”
“You don’t know what I want to see.”
“You’ve got a big mouth, Koo. You have kept nothing secret,” she laughed. “Come on, over there–”
“Can we just sit for a little bit?”
“Where, there aren’t any benches and it’s the middle of the night. Technically the park isn’t even open–”
“Remember that time we got kicked out of the park in high school–”
“You don’t have to clarify high school,” she pointed out. “It’s only happened once!”
“I think someone in one of the houses must have called the cops because they saw our flashlights.” They reached her car and she went to unlock the door but Jungkook just sat on the hood and leaned back. It was not comfortable, and the hood was still warm from the engine, but he flopped out and after a moment she came and scrambled up beside him.
“If your ass dents my hood…”
“You’ll never know with all the other dents.”
“Those aren’t my fault! Most of those are those stupid golf balls from Taehyung–”
But Jungkook was back on the park they’d been kicked out of and recalled, “The cops totally thought we were trying to find a place for like a group orgy or something but we were just… just chasing Pokemon…”
“I can’t believe they looked at us and thought we were lying about Pokemon. I wonder if when the game really took off they thought back and were like oh, those kids were telling the truth…”
“But I’ve always thought the funniest part was that they saw the four of us nerdy, awkward teens and were like ‘these kids are definitely going to fuck in a field,’’ Jungkook said. “God my acne was so bad.”
“I know, it was cute,” Alex giggled.
“Shut up, I didn’t want to be cute, I wanted to be hot!”
“Well plenty of girls think you’re hot now!”
“But not you.”
“Who cares what I think?” she demanded. “You said my opinions of who’s hot stopped counting when I liked Daniel Radcliffe.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with you?”
“What can I say, I love a tragic face scar…”
“I have a tragic face scar,” he pointed out, rolling so she could see it, as if she had never noticed it before.
“The only thing tragic about it was your hand-eye coordination. I know that was from a Hotwheel car to the face.”
“No. It was from a knife fight–”
“You have the eyes of a baby doe, literally no one will believe that.”
“Isn’t a doe already a baby?”
“You’re the expert! I don’t know!”
“You’re like a fluffy little bird I think,” he mused, curled up on his side now. “Always stealing my food and cheeping too early in the morning.”
“Yeah, I’ll accept that. Mess with me and I’ll peck your eyes out–”
“No no, low on the food chain.”
“Hey!”
He laughed. Her outrage was always so funny.
“Hey, you’re really important to me.” He heard the words after he’d said them, but his mouth was already adding, “I don’t know if I ever told you that.”
She just froze and for a moment he feared he had said something way worse.
“Oh god, you’re really trashed, huh? We’re to the philosophical part of your drunk stage…”
“I mean it.”
“Ok ok. Thanks. You’re really important to me too.” She said it so easily though that he worried it wasn’t true. She was just saying that to placate him. Every day he got less important to her and she grew closer with her new perfect boyfriend. Soon all the things she put up with him –the stolen food, the unwashed dishes, the hair in the shower– would be too much. She’d be done living with him in the apartment she didn’t think was nice enough. He knew she deserved better and she was realizing it too.
“Is Hoseok’s apartment really nice?”
“Yeah, I’ve told you it is!”
“Tell me about it.”
“No,” she scoffed. “Let’s go home, you need to sleep it off.”
“Not yet. Let’s just sit here for a few minutes. Please?” He rolled onto his back and looked up, as though to prove he wasn’t going to budge yet.
“It’s late and I’m tired. I have to be up for work at five!”
“Just five minutes,” he begged and took her hand. His stomach dropped as he got this sudden feeling that this was the last moment they’d ever have like this. As if tomorrow she was going to announce her engagement. Maybe she would. Everything was going well. He didn’t know how quickly Alex would move in a relationship but she wasn’t a fuckboy like him so maybe she’d commit quickly. Maybe she was one of those falling fast and hard people. He thought that could be true about her, since he knew she was so soft and gooey on the inside of that punchy, spiky exterior.
“Fine, five minutes,” she mumbled. “The stars look nice tonight.”
They lay there in silence. The silence was a part of them that the others didn’t seem to recognize. They liked to joke that Alex and Jungkook were always teasing, always talking, two noisy old hens together, but the silence was nice too. Jungkook felt his body melt into non-existence, lying on the warm hood of the engine, looking at the stars, Alex’s little clammy hand wrapped up in his. He must have dozed off but he wasn’t aware of it, alcohol tugging his mind here and there like a balloon on a string. He was one content cat for the time being; it was no surprise he dozed off.
Alex woke him, nudging his arm, “All right, Koo, time to go home. I’m going to get in so much trouble if you fall asleep here and I have to drive home without letting you roll off the hood.” She jostled his hand in hers to rouse him.
He rolled onto his elbow, and leaned over, and kissed her.
It just happened.
It just felt like what he needed to do in the moment and his mind on the balloon string felt a tug but not quick enough to redirect.
He kissed Alex, the first kiss they’d ever shared. His sloppy, lazy lips pressed against hers, his free hand bracing himself on the car hood so he wouldn’t crush her. He’d gone in without a breath, without a thought, still half-asleep but with a mission, and had to surface for air shortly.
She hadn’t moved, hadn’t responded in any way, and when he pulled away to see her face, her shock was what made him realize what he’d just done. Her hand pressed against his chest, gently at first, and then more firmly.
“What are you doing?” she asked in the quietest voice. Then, louder, sitting up, shouldering him away from her, “How fucking drunk are you? What– why did you–”
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, half his brain panicked. The other half suggested you’re halfway in, you gotta commit now. He leaned to try and kiss her again so she’d understand. He landed his mouth on hers again, somehow, and he wanted to believe it was because she let him, but just as quickly she firmly pushed against his chest.
“Stop! I’m not one of your fuck girls– Are you really so drunk you just confused me with–”
“No, Alex, I–”
“We have to go,” she said, scrambling off the hood much more quickly than she’d crawled on. “It’s time to go home. Get in the car, Jungkook.”
“Wait, Alex–”
“Just get in the car,” she said. He slid off the hood and stumbled after her as she fled to the driver’s seat. He didn’t want to scare her but he could tell she was panicking and upset and he hadn’t meant to upset her. He reached for her hand again but dropped it instantly when she shook him off like a fly.
“Wait, Alex, I–”
“Let’s just go home and forget–”
“I think I’m in love with you,” he tried to explain, the words once again leaping past his brain and just launching themselves out there in an attempt to calm her down. Wait. Did he? He didn’t. Well obviously he loved her, but not like that… but did he?!
She froze. He would never be able to say how long they were frozen there like that. Too much alcohol and the surprise of what he’d just doen rendered time eternal. He thought it might have been five minutes but probably it was not.
Finally Alex was re-animated. And she was suddenly madder than he would have expected.
“You think? You suddenly think you’re in love with me? You’ve known me for like twelve years and suddenly you– No. Bullshit! Why the fuck would you say something like that all of a sudden?”
“I…” He couldn’t keep up with what she was saying. She was yelling and his circuit board was shooting off fireworks in its sudden confusion.
“No, you’re not in love with me,” she snapped. “You’re possessive and clingy now because for the first time I have someone else in my life.”
“No, that’s not–”
“You’re just pissy that I’m not sitting around for you to find time to spend with me in between all the girls you fuck, at your beck and call whenever you need a ride or someone to feed you or someone to–”
“That’s not true!”
“Do you think I’m going to fuck you now? Or dump my boyfriend because you kissed me?”
“No. No, I…” He didn’t know what to say. He’d just done it and his brain was all wobbly and dizzy and she was mad at him and he had the sinking realization that he had just fucked up in a way he couldn’t fully comprehend yet because he was definitely very drunk. Damn, he wished he had just blacked out already.
“You don’t have feelings for me, you’re just drunk and horny, but it’s bullshit for you to do… that,” she said, spitting the word out. “That’s not fair. I thought you respected me more than that.”
“I…I do respect– Alex–”
She took a deep breath, like when she was really mad and didn’t want to eviscerate the person in front of her but only because she knew she was too cute for prison.
“Get in the car. It’s time to go home. Keep your mouth shut and to yourself.”
He just stared at her, but she threw her door open and pulled it shut behind her and started the car.
He’d kissed Alex.
But now she was pissed.
And he shouldn’t have done that.
But he wanted to kiss her again.
But with her responding this time. He felt the need for her to kiss him back so badly that it kept him rooted to the spot, the need for it made his stomach hurt.
But she didn’t want to kiss him or be kissed by him.
And he had told her he loved her in a way that felt different than any of the times they had jokingly, casually, friendly said it before, but she didn’t want to hear that either and he wasn’t even sure if it was true. He hadn’t thought that before. Where had that come from?! Sober words made drunk thoughts or– no it was the other way round…
What if she was right that it was only because he was jealous of her having someone, and pulling away, and leaving him, and willing to say and do anything to keep her from going?
And what if that was exactly what was going to happen now anyway?
But what if he really did love her and just had never realized it before because… because why? Why wouldn’t he have noticed it before? That was something you knew. What if he really was just drunk and a selfish, spoiled brat, and he had just kissed his best friend because he couldn’t stand that he wasn’t number one in her life anymore?
That sounded like him. That sounded way more like him. Alex was probably right. She knew him better than anyone in the world. If she said he only kissed her because he was drunk and being a jealous brat about her having a new perfect boyfriend, that was probably true.
She honked the horn and shouted, “Let’s go!”
He hurried around to his side of the car and tumbled into his seat.
t was a quiet ride home. He wished he could doze off again but he was awake for every excruciating minute of silence as he sobered up and regretted everything. Regretted calling her. Regretted kissing her. Regretted that stupid thing he’d said about being in love with her.
Regretted that the longer he lay awake thinking about it that night, knowing she was fuming in her own bed and would definitely never be in his again, the more he thought it might actually be true.
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#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook x oc#jungkook smut#jungkook f2l#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook x reader#bangtan smut#bts smut#jungkook fanfiction#fuckboy au#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook series#jungkook/reader#jungkook/oc#jungkook#tellmewhatchanged#tell me what changed#tmwc
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mando liveblog 3.7 ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
i am both mad and disappointed, if ultimately entirely unsurprised
oh good, we get to watch bo-katan get the darksaber again
oh right gideon’s bullshit
still calling that they’re going to take all the storylines into other series and turn the mandalorian into a ‘din and grogu run from gideon’ thing bc that’s what worked for them before
oh god are we on coruscant again? with the imperial bitch? ughhhh not againn
he’s already got his outfit back? lame. you just got busted out of prison, suffer bad clothing choices!
oh no he actually looks MORE vader-y, what a poser
i do hate (which i understand is irrational) that the show has to be beholden to the sequels, bc. well. the sequels sucked.
PROJCET NECROMANCER ASDKLJFSG
oh so if gideon’s interest wasn’t in the clones shenanigans does that mean i can fuck around with him wanting to become the next dr demagolka? Forcibly Assigned Jedi At Experimentation
yeee bitches feel fear at thinking about mandalorians
‘the spies’ oh no
poor nevarro civvies, ‘ah shit not the empire again’
i wanna know how painting that giant mythosaur on the underside of the cruiser worked
ARE WE FINALLY GONNA SEE WHAT THE WHOLE WALKING TWO WAYS BULLSHIT WAS ABOUT? INDOCTRINATION YEA OR NAY
ahh hordes of mandalorians my beloved
din. din get on the side of the covert. din.
‘paz bout to start shit TIME TO USE THE TALKING HAMMER’
oh god the droid we all forgot about. again.
OH NOT A DROID IT’S A FUCKING JAEGER IM FUCKING CRYING ASLDKJADG
OH IT’S FOR GROGU??? IM FUCKIN
oh lord baby with a murder exoskeleton
OH
ONIDSFJAG
LETS THE BABY SPEAK???
runaway baby so happy ‘yessss i can murder now!!’
okay i know this is supposed to be funny but clearly the baby should not have the exoskeletON ARE THEY ROASTING THE BABY BIRDS???
man they just got a home and they’re already needing to leave again?
i’m sorry GROGU AS WELL? what. what. YHOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE NEVARRO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SO THEY COULD KEEP THEIR KIDS SAFE
big spartacus vibes here
oh ho ho, the armorer too?
lmfao everyone chillin and then there’s paz with his ginormous gun, love that for him. also wonder if my hc about him never actually setting foot on mandalore before despite being a vizsla is correct?
did we. at least land somewhere significant? and not just in the middle of nowhere?
ah good on top of a city at least.
oh
oh my heart
‘do you have food’
the first question asked
mandalorians have been here all along??
okay this hurts me but i feel like not for the reason they want it to, bo-katan DID abandon you in the end
are these the spies, this is going to Hurt Me
oh she admitted it
wait did we know about this deal before or is this new info? bo-katan cut a deal with gideon? i have not watched any of the animated series
oh thank christ finally confirmation the tribe is against Death Watch, even if descended from it
hmm does sound like a good reason for joint leadership
I SERVE YOU? WHAT?
what are these vibes my brain suddenly just sidestepped into the Mad Max universe
is the armorer gonna die to traitors
lmfao paz fucking down to fight over fucking checkers im sobbing
really ‘primitives’? i know we’re supposed to be like ‘oh assholes on both sides’ but paz is like 100000 times better than woves
BABY????
the fuck DID he learn from you then, din
oh wait
i know there’s the assumption it was din (and i mean. fuck yeah dinluke. but.)
what if all the stuff about grogu learning things
was from kelleran?
mythosaur?? pls??
no mythosaur :(
PAZ MAKING SURE THE BABY GOT OUT
what is it with mandalorians and giant lizards anyway
MY HEADCANON IS CORRECT, PAZ NEVER LIVED ON MANDALORE GO ME
nope not survivors
bigger vibes that they were led here THEYRE WEARING WHAT. FUCKIONG IMPERIALS IN BESKAR?? FLAMES! ON THE SIDES OF MY FACE!!
vanguard paz my heart
yeah this was totes a trap
OH SHIT DIN SEPARATED FROM THE BABY
wow the worst vader wannabe
...din forced down on his knees doe unf
somebody cut off this dude’s head
I WAS SO RIGHT HES THE NEXT DEMAGOLKLA PUT TOGETHER IT ALL AND YOU GET JEDI MANDO...clones? something. w/e
UH YEAH, YEAH YOU SHOULD HAVE BO
ah paz it about to die isn’t he
sigh
oh for fucks sake it wasn’t even a smart death you coulda closed it and then gone through
oh fake jedi bitches
i know this is supposed to be a badass honorable death but i’m too busy being mad about it
#mandalorian season 3#no but seriously WERE THEY ROASTING THE BABY BIRDS#anyway casually ignoring everything i don't want to acknowledge#business as usual
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You definitely don't have to worry bout that😂🙈
Yeah, I don't get why it did that in the first place...It's been doing that with my "asks" to LW too and I still don't get why it would do it either there or here🙈😅
I was exaggerating but there are definitely A LOT more people where I live compared to your 12k😅 But lol, 35 People? That IS kinda just two streets😉🤣🤣😶 The peace and quiet sounds very nice tho🙈
Yup, they do😅
😅😅🙈🤷🏻♀️
Ahh, right, the priests 🤦🏻♀️ Sorry, I half-forgot about those already, what, with the whole message didn't get through thing🙈🙈😅
Cakes are REALLY awesome and same, I want some, too😅🤤
HAHAHAHAHAHA well, that escalated quickly, tho rap-song-writer!you sounds like it could be funny af🤣🤣😉
Yeah, okay, that really sucks if they only reused older "scenes" and didn't care to give characters their own "twist"🙈🙈🙈
...Putting feelings into boxes? Oh god, that sounds so unhealthy, I'm actually kinda glad I have seen barely anything after Season 3😅😅🙈🙈
Jup, agreed, her story would have been awesome like that and a nice little message for everyone watching, too🙈😅
Hmm, good point🤔😂 Okay, so Lex as the headmaster🤣 Ohh, imagine Lillian and Rhea being on the School Board/Comittee/Board of Education🤔🤔😰😅
But wouldn't Max be able to deduce that because he's brilliant?🤔 Tho I imagine he'd clearly not be impressed, tho I doubt anything involving Kara impresses him😅😅🙈
🙈🙈🙈 Still, sorry!
PS2: Exactly!☺🤗
Ohh, well, my condolensces then?😅🙈 *hands over a few boxes of tissues*
Thanks, you too and happy Monday!😉😊
XXX
Problem sooooolved then xD
Who knows, tumblr is a void and eats the messages?
It's exactly two streets, one hidden behind a forest xD
It is nice. Minus the fucking birds at 5 am sitting on your balcony and screaming HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO like madmen.
On the other hand I can go to the forest and theoretically scream too, so.
Our talks are so messy I'm still not sure why you murdered kangaroos :P
Yeah, day later I still didn't eat it. But I had pancakes for the dinner, so I guess it's good too and well, KARAMEL ALL THE WAY!
...no, thank you.
I mean there for sure were some original cute scenes, whatever, but I was already annoyed and didn't care.
SEE? You didn't even watch and you know how stupid it sounds! And here we had Lobotomizer, the genius of the series, corrupting idiots with her ideology. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it, how they made her look sympathetic, made her say half ass sorry, how they didn't make her pay a single thing for her horrible actions and she is "redempted" just like that. Because she is pretty white privileged powerful woman. Fucking show for a kids. Giving them this message. *throws up*
Sorry, but this shit annoys me like hell.
But I guess it would be soooo difficult to write, right? And would take away screen time from Lobotomizer and her sister, right???? And who needs a powerful, well written mine character to shine and be simply awe and some, right?????
That would be heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell. All tou know, maybe we would not need dramas and no villains, just making them a little crazy and annoying. Like Lex being a lazy headmaster, cool and not giving a fuck, Lillian and Rhea being intense competitors in the WHO IS THE BEST MEMBER OF THE COMITTEEEEEEE etc xD And Lobotomizer could die in some explosive experiment or something
I think his brain woul dprotect him from mentally imaginating what the fuck (pun intended) happened there, involving his little naked brother wrapped in completly naked krypotnian :P
LET'S JUST STOP APOLOGIZING TO EAHC OTHER! But not like karamel, but really xD
PS HE WON, so it was a happy cry xD thanks :D
Have a nice... evening? night? day? sleep?
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too lazy to do 🍰 anon right now lol, but heLlo!! I’m 🍰 anon!! you can continue to call me 🍰(cake) Or Rue!! But to answer your question I was specifically looking for you to do tsukishima!
<3
- 🍰
Hello!! Omg Rue is such a pretty name🥺🥺 ahh I hope you didn’t think I forgot about you! Sorry this took so long, work has been slaying me this week 😭
Hope you like this! (and between u&me I’m so glad u picked tsukki I love him sm)
Tsukishima hates it when you pull his headphones off to try to get his attention. The first time you did it, he almost punched you. Even five year olds know not to touch other people’s things?
Word count: 1k
Warnings: Minor Angst to tooth rotting fluff
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Tsukishima was tapping away almost furiously on his keyboard, bopping his head along to the music flowing from his over-ear black headphones. It was a fairly new pair – a Bluetooth one that you’d gotten him for his birthday. He had the volume maxed out, slightly impressed by the sound quality; he knows this habit of his was bad for his ears, but he’s had a stressful day. He was so close to getting this last part of his paper done, and the familiar rhythm of his favorite songs were helping him stay focused.
He sat up a little, straightening his back and attempting to roll away the tension in his shoulders from being hunched over for two hours. He moved his head side to side, cringing a little at the resounding ‘crrrkkk’ of his neck cracking. He could feel a slight burn in the back of his eyes, taking off his glasses and attempting to rub it away with the face of his palm.
Tsukishima hated to admit it, but he was feeling burnt out these days. What with the extra practices and the increasing amount of school work, the blonde boy was stretched extremely thin. He didn’t know how the other two idiots on his team could put in that much effort into volleyball – surely their classes had the same curriculum as well?
Oh yeah, Tsukishima remembers, it’s cause they’re failing idiots.
Tsukishima chuckled at his own comment, typing out the last few sentences of his paper, practically slamming his fingers down on his keyboard. He let out a heavy sigh, leaning back on his computer chair and stretching his hands out in front of him. He picked up the cup of coffee that was nearly forgotten at his desk, taking a large gulp and cringing a little at the lukewarm temperature.
That’s that, he thought, glancing at the textbook mocking him from his bag and running a tired hand through his hair, what were the chapters we needed to read for English again?
He was flipping through the pages of his planner when suddenly, the thumping sound of his music disappeared. It took him a second to register a pair of hands plucking his headphones off his ears.
“Tsukishima Kei!”
He swiveled his chair around, tired eyes finally landing on your figure standing in the middle of his room, headphones still blaring music dangling from your hand. You waved a little and gave him a sheepish smile, one that Tsukishima would have found cute if not for the abysmally bad mood he had been in prior to your arrival. Normally, he would have stood up and given you a kiss by now, but all he could feel was irritation brewing in his chest.
“What the fuck?” He bit out, reaching out to grab the headphones back from your grip. Your brows shot up in surprise, looking slightly taken aback by his aggressiveness. “How many times have I told you not to do that??”
“I’ve been calling your name – “
“So you just snatch my headphones off my head like some monkey?” Tsukishima stood up quickly, his towering figure causing you to take a step back, “Any idiot can see that I’m in the middle of doing something. Do you even know how rude that is, or are you just that dumb? Even a fucking five year old knows not to touch other people’s shit!”
The tension in his shoulders melted away with every foul word that tumbled out of his mouth. Your face quickly shifted from surprised to calm; your eyes darted around his room, noting the pile of dirty clothes in his hamper, the crumpled protein bar wrappers littering the floor, and the mountain of paperwork scattering his desk. Tsukishima could feel himself shrinking under your probing gaze, sitting back down and looking away as the irritation in his chest transformed to a guilt that sank to his stomach.
You huffed a little and crossed your arms. “Are you done?”
Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at you, before begrudgingly answering with a soft, “Yeah.”
“That’s not how we talk to people, Kei,” You began your lecture, pushing passed him and setting down a brown paper bag he hadn’t noticed you holding on the desk, “You said you were going to work on that. See, that’s how I know you’ve been working for too long! Your sodium levels are through the roof, you salty asshole. But don’t worry,”
He stayed silent as you emptied the contents of the paper bag, watching you take out napkins, utensils, and finally, a clear plastic container containing one perfect slice of strawberry shortcake.
“I brought you something sweet to make up for it!”
His little heart grew three sizes in that moment. You always were really good at making him feel like an asshole.
He smiled at the little squeal that came out of your mouth when he pulled you down onto his lap. You giggled as he placed quick little butterfly kisses along your neck and jaw, tightening his hold around your waist. You placed a hand on his chest, lightly pushing him off.
“Alright jerk, let’s eat this damn cake already,” you say, opening the plastic container and grabbing a fork.
“Feed me,” Tsukishima mumbled, returning your surprised look with an expectant one.
“Excuse me, what?”
“You heard me,” Tsukishima said, opening his mouth for added effect. You roll your eyes, if only to hide the rising heat in your cheeks, cutting off a piece and feeding it to the waiting Tsukishima. He closed his eyes in satisfaction, and you were only able to admire the view for two seconds before Tsukishima placed a hand on the back of your neck and pulled you down for short, soft kiss.
“I’m sorry for raising my voice at you,” he said, nuzzling his face on your neck. “And for being a dick about it.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck tightly. “I’m sorry, too. I won’t grab your headphones like that again.”
#tsukishima kei#tsukishima kei angst#tsukishima kei fluff#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima#tsukishima x you#tsukishima kei imagines#tsukishima kei scenarios#haikyuu!! scenarios#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#hq#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x you
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Doujinshi Translation
This is an AU where Gray takes Rachel in as a Sister to his church and she meets Zack in a different way!
*There is nothing sexual in the book.
*Trigger warnings: Off-screen animal cruelty :(
'Kami-sama Ga Shinda Hi Umareta Hi'
The Day God Died, God is Born by Tokiko Nao
Translation by Chiibi. Please do not repost and do not make scanlations without crediting me. (I am not sure about every single line but I’d like to see someone else do it better :D hahaha:p)
Kami-sama Ga Shinda Hi, Umareta Hi
Page 01
Ray: Oh Lord...
God...please...somehow...
Page 02
[door creaks]
Gray: Rachel
Ray: Oh, Father. Good morning.
Gray: Good morning.
[shuts door]
Gray: Have you finished your morning duty?
Ray: Yes.
Gray: You have much enthusiasm. This is very good.
Ray: Not at all.
(Note: She isn't disagreeing; the polite thing to do in Japan when someone gives you a compliment is to be humble instead of saying 'thank you')
Ray: It is only natural for one who serves the Lord.
Gray: Is that so.
I've prepared breakfast for you. Please eat before it gets cold.
Ray: Yes. Thank you very much.
Child: FATHER!
Page 03
Gray: My, what is wrong? You are all in such a rush...
Child: Father, please help us!
This little guy collapsed near the church.
He's not moving and he's hurt...
[sniff sniffle]
At this rate, he'll die...
Ray: It's okay.
His wound is not serious...
If we treat him and give him something to eat and keep him warm while he sleeps...
he will get better in no time.
So do not worry.
[fluf]
The church will look after him.
Page 04
Kids: Thank you, Onee-chan!
We won't have to worry with Father here, right!?
Gray: Well then, I shall leave him to you. Do let me know if you need anything.
Kids: I know! Let's give him a name!
Ray: Right.
>: How about 'Max'?
>: Whaaaaaat, that's so plain!
Ray: You'll be all right now.
Page 05
Ray thinking: He's later than usual...
For the evening sermon...
A person...?
He's asleep.
Who could it be at this hour...
Oh well...this is a public place after all...
Another day comes to an end.
And yet...
Lord God...
Page 06
Has not come to meet me today either...
Zack: That's a boring prayer.
Is this really that fun for ya, little miss?
[yawn]
Page 07
Ray: Who...are you?
What are you doing here...
Could you be a thief?
>: Zack
Gray: So you've come here after all.
I thought you would.
Would you like to eat supper?
I am preparing it now but...
Zack: Don't need it.
Just came here to take a break.
[slams door]
Ray: Father...who is that man...?
Gray: Oh...he comes to visit this place now and then.
To him, this is just a shelter that he doesn't have to pay for.
Don't worry about him.
Ray: Does he also...
Gray: No, he is not a follower of God but...
He was chosen by God
As an 'angel'.
Page 09
Ray thinking:
Angel...?
But that person...
Had the scent of blood on him.
>: You've gotten a lot better, haven't you!
Shall we go for a little walk?
>: Wuf!
>: Ah...you shouldn't run like tha...
Page 10
>: Wuf!
[spaced out]
Ray: You're the...
one from before...
Zack: And yer...
who now?
Ray: [POUT]
Page 11
Ray: [still pouting]
We met in the church before...
Zack: Ah, yer the little miss saying the boring prayers, huh.
Ya had a borin' face so I forgot.
Ray: My name is Rachel Gardner.
[hmph]
And you are...Mr...Zack? Was it?
(she is using "-san" here)
[shudder]
Zack: DON'T CALL MY NAME IN THAT CREEPY-ASS WAY!
I'LL KILL YA DEAD!!
Ray: [twitches]
That would be a problem...then what should I call you...?
Zack: 'Zack' is fine...
Call me that...
That's what the shitty priest calls me too...
Ray: Zack...
Page 12
Ray [sits]
Zack, why are you here?
Zack: AH!?
Ray: I mean, why do you come here sometimes?
Zack: whatcha sittin' down for
No reason...I guess it's a good place to hide.
Ray: From who?
Zack: AHHHHHH!? YER SURE ASK A LOTTA QUESTIONS!!
SO WHY THE HELL'RE YOU HERE!?
Ray: Me? Well, truthfully...
My parents died...no.
I came here to sacrifice myself to the Lord.
I am waiting for that time.
Zack: Oh I see.
Ray: [pout]
Why did you ask if you don't care?
Zack: Keh. I just asked ya back since ya asked me.
Page 13
Ray: I see.
You're an odd person.
Zack: HAAAAAAAAAAH!?
I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT FROM YOU!!
Ray: Owwwww
[pinch]
Zack: YA DON'T SMILE OR ANYTHIN!!
ARE THE MUSCLES IN YER FACE DEAD OR SOMETHIN!?
[sting]
Ray narrates: After that
Zack appeared at the church quite frequently.
[looking around]
>: Max, here's your food!
Page 14
>: He would come for several days on end but also not show up for several weeks...
>: Maybe he's in the garden...
Zack: HEY.
>: WUF!
[wag wag]
Zack: [panting]
Keep a good grip on him, will ya!
Ray: He was really quite a strange...
strange person.
So he was playing with you, Zack, huh?
That's good.
>: Wuf!
Zack: NEXT TIME YA GUYS INTERRUPT MY AFTERNOON NAP, I'LL KILL YA DEAD!
Ray: But of course he was in the back yard where others can't enter.
And he showed up during the night.
Max has really bonded with Zack too...
Zack: Guess I'll go back to sleep again.
Page 15
Ray: I wonder what Zack does outside of this place...?
Zack: So?
[staaaaaaaaaaaaaare]
Whatcha up to, today?
Ray: Working in the garden.
Are you hiding again?
I'm planting new flowers.
Zack: Like I care.
Killin' time.
Ray: I see...
Zack: Ya don't have that book today.
Even though yer always hangin' onto it.
Ray: You mean my Bible?
It should be expected that I wouldn't carry it while I'm working in the garden.
Are you interested in the Bible?
Zack: Keh. Nope...can't even read it anyway.
Page 16
Ray: Okay, all done. [pat pat]
Zack: That dog ain't here, huh?
Ray: Did you come to see him?
Zack: IDIOT! NO, I FREAKIN' DIDN'T!!
Ray: I thought you'd come to see him quite a lot lately.
I see...
Zack: LISTEN TO ME, YA LITTLE SHIT!!
Child : WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
Page 17
>: Max is gone!?
Whyyy!?
Ray: Yes. Someone came to take him in.
Child: Darn. We wanted to play with him some more.
Child: But at least he went to a fun home, right? That's good!
Ray: I know you came here to see him... I am sorry.
[door creaks]
Gray: Rachel...
I'd like to talk with you. Please come with me.
Page 18
Gray: I picked this up from the back yard.
This is a bad habit of yours. And I've overlooked it many times.
But now...why did you kill THIS one?
Ray: That puppy really got attached to Zack.
I didn't want Zack to take him from me...
Page 19
Thus I made him "mine".
Gray: Goodness. I am quite disgusted with you.
We do not selfishly act to obtain our own desires.
[sigh]
I knew you were not a vessel for an angel.
Ray: Angel...?
No...I...
That is not what I wish for...
Father, in order to sacrifice myself for God, I...
Gray: Rachel
Page 20
[badum]
The God you desire is does not exist here.
No matter how much you pray
There is no "God" that can meet your conditions.
Besides that, you who cannot even be loved by others...
think God would actually love you?
Ray: No...
[tremble]
Stop...it.
Gray: You are so pitiful.
Ray: STOP IT!!
Page 21
[dash]
[monologue]
There is no God for me?
That has to be a lie!!
Ahh Lord...
I...
I shouldn't be alive, should I...
Lord God...
Somehow please...!
Because of that?
Page 22
Is that why He will not come for me?
[panting]
Because my God doesn't exist?
I won't accept that.
Because if I do...
I don't want to die while I'm still unsightly!!
Will someone kill me?
I thought if it was God...
The unsightly me would still be accepted.
I thought He could kill me and make me beautiful.
[rustle]
Page 23
"He is an angel".
Ray: I might be no good.
Do you have a God who accepts you?
Zack...
>: He always smells of blood.
Why...
Zack who cannot even read the Bible
How can this be...?
What's the difference between him and me...?
If I make Zack mine...
can God make me His own too...?
Page 24
Zack: I SAID if ya interrupt my nap, I'd kill ya DEAD, didn't I?
[wham]
Killin' that dog didn't satisfy ya enough, huh?
Little miss.
[cough]
Ray: Then kill me too!
[glare]
Serial Killer Issac Foster!
Zack: Hah
Impressive ya figured it out...
Page 25
Ray: Anyone could if they did a little research...
You always came to this place right after an incident happened in town...
You're hiding from the police, aren't you?
And thanks to our priest hiding you here...
The most faithful and trusted person in the whole city...
Nobody would ever suspect him of harboring a serial killer.
[pant pant]
Zack: Whatsa matter?
Yer chattier than usual today, ain'tcha...
[Ray stuggles for breath]
Wh...y...
26
Ray: What's the difference between you and me...?
[drip drip]
: Why does God...
Zack: God...? Yer talking about that stuff again?
Ray: I...
Zack: You pretend to pray...
Ray: I was just waiting...
Zack: Is that big heavy bible really that important to ya?
Ray: For the Lord God to come for me...
Zack: Ya got some nerve.
Ya intend to only make yourself clean?
[grip]
Even now ya reek of blood and flesh.
27
Just try it on me.
Neither you or I would change!
Isn't that right, Ray?
Ray: Me...and you...?
Zack: Well, I don't rely on God though.
All right. I'm outta here.
Their search for me is gettin' more serious so I can't visit this place anymore.
[wave]
See ya.
Ray: Tell me, Zack
Page 28
If I beg you to kill me
will you listen...?
Zack: Huh...?
I ain't interested in killin' someone with such a borin' face.
And I got no intention of bein' used by you.
Ray: Then take me with you.
I've lost my reason to be here...
[drip drip]
If I hadn't followed you, I'd just be left behind but
If you need, you can use me as a decoy.
I'm sure I can be of use to you.
So it's okay with me to be killed by you.
[flutter]
When that time comes
Page 29
Kill me, please.
Ray thinking: That's right. The one who kills me
Page 30
Can be Him. (she is using the kanji for Lord God here)
Zack: Hah.
This time yer going depend on me instead of God, huh.
Ray: But I need someone to rely on
...I guess
Plus you might be better than God...
Zack: I'm not into the gross habit of purposely killin' someone who wants to die.
If ya want me to kill ya, ya gotta work with me first.
Help me escape this town.
If ya make a better face for me after we've left here
That's when...
Page 31
I'll kill ya.
"Serial killer Issac Foster now suspected of kidnapping"
"Is still on the run"
"Fearful nights continue"...
Ray: That's what it says.
Zack: Damn it all! It's YER fault they suspect me of kidnapping now, ain't it!
Ray: Kidnapping on top of everything else doesn't really change anything though...
It looks like they found out you went to the church.
The Father must have stirred up the search for you, somehow.
Leaving the town was the right action.
Zack: Geeze, whatta pain in the ass.
Page 32
Ray: If I'm a burden to you, you can kill me and go on alone?
Zack: Yer all I got, ya know!?
They would trace ya all the way to here, wouldn't they?
Ray: Well spotted.
[sigh]
[ARGH!!]
Zack: STOP ASKING ME STUPID BORING CRAP!!
THINK ABOUT WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS SHIT GOIN' ON NOW!!
IT'S BAD!!
[lol sirens]
Ray: This is because you act without thinking about where you are, Zack...
But I'll do my best.
So you will kill me.
#satsuriku no tenshi#doujinshi#my translations#angels of death#angels of slaughter#issac foster#rachel gardner#abraham gray
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C2E86 Liveblog first half
AIIIEEEE WE’RE GOING TO WAR SOUND THE BELLS
Yasha is somewhere around here, Ashley??
Where’s Pumat in all of this, just tagging along helpfully?
Doors? Not a problem after Jester’s paints THE ENEMY HAS BEEN DEFEATED
Ah Pumat noticed. I now have a fear. Still, Winnie the Pumat
SILENCE PUMAT says twitch chat
Oh god Nott is playing charades with Fjord
Do you remember the telephone game they tried to play to pass the message earlier on?
Oh bloody heck, that’s a GORGEOUS cathedral
Good place to die in
FALSE IDOLATRY HERETICS AND BLASPHEMERS
Sorry I’ve got a thing against bad religion
Twitch chat at the Cardinal: Ok boomer (literally she has a booming voice)
Gotta get through the chaff first
AHH MY BACK M9 continuing the tradition against old folks
That was one hell of an entry Widogast, one hell of an entry
FIRESTORM?? That’s nasty
DC higher than 17?? OUCH
Matt’s dead stare into the camera as he talks about enchantment spells, don’t piss off the nerdy DM that literally made that world
Oh god the demons are coming already
Caddy is pissed; that was a max damage Sacred Flame
Nott just ends the Cardinal with a well placed shot, set up by her partner in crime Jester
ASHLEY she’s gonna kill everyone but still ASHLEY
Oh its Obann the fucker KILL HIM
And he got his charm on Beau?! Of all people?!?!
BURN THEM ALL This is the wizard’s playground now
Pumat Sol is the most cheerfully terrifying mind controller
Oh shit Beau can just dispel charmed
Goddamn thats hot
Called it, I knew Skin Gorger was bad news
Oh wait Ashley just doubled 1s on Nott
Ooooof the Cadogeist hits really really hard
Laura looks like she’s about to throw up from the stress
Nott just sniping shots WITH A NAT 20 AND SHE SHOOTS AGAIN
64 in one
2 hours and its nowhere near a break yet
MARATHON SESSION
Seeing the 3 digit HP Fjord reduced to 1 digit is marginally worrying
Oh god Yasha is going to carve through them like butter
They forgot Yasha has resistance to Necrotic damage, but still
PUMAT SWOLE WITH TENSER’S TRANSFORMATION
5TH LEVEL DISPEL WORKS
ITS JUST FUCKING WORKS
Ok i should turn off my capslock
Holy shit the first half is still going (2.5 hour mark)
HOLY SHIT THEY ARE STILL GOING (3 hour mark)
MARATHON MARATHON MARATHON SESH
Did they literally just abandon Nott?
DID THEY JUST ABANDON PUMAT SOL
AAAIIIIEEEEEEE
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To Hell and Back: Can’t Keep a Good Boy Down p2
Max’s doppleganger frowned at himself in the mirror. He was applying a cream to his face, careful to avoid his deep scar. It had always been very tender to the touch.
‘Look what you’ve done! You stupid boy! You’re a waste of life!’
He heard the voice echo in his mind. It’d been ten years, yet it sounded just as crystal clear as the day he’d received that beating. It wasn’t the first, nor the last. But this of course, was the one that gave him his defining scar.
The sound of his dog yelping snapped him back to reality. He opened the door with force. “Kevin?” He called. “Kevin? Are you alright!?”
As soon as his name was called, the shiba came scampering over. His tail wagging with delight at the sight of his beloved owner. The scarred Max smiled, leaning down and giving his boy a few pats and scratches. “Good Kevin,” he praised. As he continued down the hall, Kevin followed close behind.
When he found the psychology professor he clapped his hands to get the older man’s attention. “How is my project coming along.”
“Excellent master. They should be very mouldable now.”
“That’s very good to hear. Call the group into your office after class this week and initiate phase one.”
“Yes, master.”
----------------------------------
“Can you just get me the cheese fries and a side salad?”
“You don’t want a cheeseburger, Max?” asked his friend.
“No, I’m a vegetarian.”
“Huh.”
As their friend, Lachlan ordered, Max and Ian took a couple of paper cups over to the soda fountain and filled them with coke. Max never had many friends growing up, he felt kind of cool having dinner with two of them. Lachlan was in their psychology class and the three decided to grab a bite together before heading home. After all, they had a late night. They’d been selected for an extra credit assignment and had to stay late for a meeting.
Now that Max thought about it, he couldn’t really remember much of the meeting...
Max took a seat by the window with Ian, popping straws into his friends’ drink lids. “I am so exhausted.”
“I know, me too.”
“Aye, stop it,” Lachlan joked as he sat down with their tray of food. “You boys are going to get me yawning.”
“hehe sorry, Lachlan. I just feel so... Drained for some reason.”
“Same. Reminds me, we should take our vitamins.”
“Oh, right. Almost forgot,” Ian agreed. The three of them each pulled a pill bottle from their pocket and popped a little orange pill. It was part of the extra credit assignment. Testing the effects of... Wait... What was it testing again? Ugh, Max shook his head. He was probably just tired. He’d remember in the morning.
“So, how was Christmas break?”
“Nothing exciting,” Ian shrugged.
“I stayed at the apartment,” Max answered. “I don’t have any family to go home to.”
“Oh, jeez. I’m sorry,” Lachlan apologized.
Max shook his head and held his hand up, giving his friend an expression that said it was alright. “You?”
“Went back to the farm. Saw my little brother.”
“Oh, nice. I always wanted a brother. How old is‘he?”
“Seventeen.”
“Brothers aren’t all they’re cracked up to be,” Ian told Max with a smirk.
“Yeah, we do fight,” Lachlan admitted. “But overall, we’re cool. He’s like, my best friend. Probably sounds kind of pathetic,” he joked.
“No, no,” Max disagreed. “It’s sweet.”
The three friends finished up their meals and eventually went their separate ways. Max was tired, but he felt happy. He felt accepted, like he was finally in a good place in his life.
The next morning Max woke up next to his boyfriend, Ian. Just like he always did. He smiled to himself and rested his head on Ian’s chest, closing his eyes again. He had never been so in love in his life. He fell asleep for a few more minutes before Ian’s alarm woke him up once again.
“Mmm...” Ian squeezed Max tight, and Max reached over to turn off the alarm.
“Morning, sleepy head,” Max smiled. “You gotta get ready for class.”
“Ahh, babe. I want to stay in bed with you.”
“I know...” Max grinned. “When you get home, I’ll have a surprise for you,” Max promised.
As Ian left for class, Max kissed him on the cheek and went back to sleep for another hour. When he woke up, he knew Ian would be on his way home. So he brushed his teeth and got ready. As he looked for something to wear, he saw the cute little black dress in his dresser. Max loved wearing it. It made him feel cute. And Ian loved it too, he always told Max how adorable and sexy he looked in it. Max smiled. Putting on the dress and waiting for Ian would be a great surprise!
He did just that and waited in the kitchen for Ian to come through the front door. When he heard the doorknob turning, he perked up.
“Hi Ian! How was class?”
“It was alright,” his boyfriend shrugged, tossing his keys onto a little table by the entrance way. “Oh, shit....” he said under his breath finally turning his glance to Max.
“You like it?”
“You know I do,” he grinned.
Max hopped off the kitchen stool and sauntered over to him. He wrapped his arms around Ian’s neck and kissed him.
Ian kissed back. “I wanna fuck you in that,” Ian whispered into his ear.
Max bit his lip, grinning. “Okay...”
Max lead Ian to the bedroom where they immediately began making out again. Max undressed Ian as he did so, slowly. So slowly, Ian found it agonizing to have to wait so long. Max tossed Ian’s hoodie away, running his hands up his chest and pulling off his t-shirt. Ian shuddered. Finally, unable to take the pace he pushed Max away, onto the bed. Max bit his lip, looking up at Ian with a lustful smile.
Ian pulled down his jeans and boxers as fast as he could and discarded them. He moved on top of Max, running his hands up his bare thighs.
Max felt his dick jump at that. “Ian...” he whimpered.
Ian grinned, baring his teeth. He slipped his fingers underneath Max’s waistband and pulled his underwear down his legs. “Pass me the lube...” He breathed out.
Max reached behind him into the nightstand drawer. But there was nothing in there. Wasn’t that always where they kept it? He didn’t remember running out, then again, he was having trouble remembering a lot of specific details like that lately. He must still be tired from all the class work. “Think we ran out...”
“It’s okay... It’s okay... Come and suck my dick, baby. Get it all wet.”
Max gladly did as he was told, licking and sucking on Ian’s cock. Trying to get as much saliva coated on it as he could. He must have been doing a good job. Ian was panting and jittering like it was his first blowjob or something. Max felt a sense of pride a how good at this he was. Maybe a bit of a strange reaction, but Max knew it was because of how in love he was with Ian and how much he wanted to make him happy.
Eventually, Ian pulled Max’s head from his dick and laid him back on his back. He lifted Max’s dress above his hips and fucked him. Max moaned, throwing his head back. He couldn’t believe how good it felt! Ian was really something special.
Soon, Ian came deep inside Max. Max came all over his pretty dress.
“Oh...Fuck...” Max commented, coming down from his high.
“Think it’ll...Come out...?” Ian asked, trying to catch his breath.
“I hope so.”
“Well... We can buy you more...”
“Yeah...?”
“Yeah. You’re so cute like that. You should dress like that all the time when it’s just us here.”
Max smiled. For once it seemed like everything was going his way.
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Cute Tags
I was tagged by @cafedetude, keep em comin, these are fun xx
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal; use just enough milk for the cereal to soak up
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no!
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually receipts, sometimes postcards/birthday cards in envelopes
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea: only if I’m sick and just with honey coffee: I just like iced capps
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, if I overthink it. The left side around my mouth isn’t as mobile so it looks stiff and awkward, and also there are these two veins or something on either side of my face that move towards my eyes when I smile and it looks very disturbing
6: do you keep plants? oh shit I forgot I have one, haven’t watered that thing in about 3 weeks
7: do you name your plants? no, sorry “that thing”
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? drama
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I don’t like to sing because it hurts my ears when I do, but I like to dramatically deliver song lyrics. Humming usually leads to me getting too riled up so I often steer clear of that
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side!
11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? The first one that comes to mind is “Sarahhhh” aka the reenactment of Max not knowing what to do when his kayak is sinking
12: what’s your favorite planet? venus, baby
13: what’s something that made you smile today? a scene in the final episode of Stranger Things 2 that I can’t mention now because it’s still too soon
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? semi-bohemian, cozy, clean
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “Saturn is the only planet in the solar system that would float on water”
16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? homemade lasagna
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. the time I gifted tampons with christmas jokes attached to the strings
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes, there’s your classic recap, poems, dumb questions, favorites lists, to-read/watch lists, semi-collages
20: what’s your favorite eye color? “The kind of green that doesn't make a big deal about itself” which has... ugh okay for years now, this description of Sam’s eyes from Perks, it just. You know what eyes he’s talking about
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my topshop bag. It’s the first thing I purchased from topshop, and it ignited my addiction to the brand
22: are you a morning person? yes, metaphysically(?) (lol) I like doing things in the morning because time seems slower and I feel more productive and energized. Waking up’s the challenge tho
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? swingset
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no
25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? is this a common thing people do??
26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? ehhhh I’m not too fond of any one of my shoes right now but grade 10 through 11 I was overly attached to one pair of indoor soccer shoes that I used as everyday sneakers
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum
28: sunrise or sunset? sunrise
29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? their laugh!! Makes me so happy, can’t help but laugh along
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? proximity to wasps, walking across a valley on a rusty pipe with low guardrails
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks!! I have to sleep with socks because I get cold at night and if my skin is exposed, I get sick. I like comfortable, just-below-ankle-length athletic socks, would like to invest in some that I could wear my vans with w/o the socks showing because otherwise, socks makes my calves look bulbous when I wear skirts/dresses/shorts
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we had a really deep talk and sappy declarations of friendship
33: what’s your fave pastry? AHH! STAHHP, I could’ve dropped my ______
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Lami! A sweet little lamb I got from the dollar store when I first moved to Canada, very precious and dear to me. Carried her to school until grade four because I was scared there’d be a fire at my house and she’d die. I still keep her, of course!!
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? yes, love stationary n pens! But never buy because, money. :/
36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? tame impala
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? it’s so, so messy. I hate it! I like things clean but I just never have time to sort through it and it piles up and :( I’m disgusting
38: tell us about your pet peeves! when, in the winter, you have a scarf wrapped around your neck and then the wind keeps blowing it behind your shoulder so it’s softly choking you
39: what color do you wear the most? black
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a troy bolton necklace that I believe Joyce got me for my birthday in, I want to say grade four or five. It’s perfect
41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Ender’s Game
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Tim Hortons near the mall, makes the best hashbrowns and the iced capps are perfect balance of coffee and milk and ice, just A+
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? my roommate, on our walk home
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? on the skytrain, moments before I looked through an open apartment window and saw a naked girl flopping down onto a mattress, followed by a nude man jumping ontop of her like a flying squirrel. The illusion was shattered (yes, this actually happened and it was a lot to process)
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? no !!!! never ever ever
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I was wondering why the baseball kept coming closer and closer, and then it hit me!
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? This spinach dish my mum makes with an egg on top? It’s slimy, and it’s a no from me
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I was scared of fish up until age 5 I believe, my grandma used to cut out paper fishies and flush them down the toilet to try and help me get over that fear. Now its probably... oof I can’t think of any atm but there’s soooo many
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes, I most recently purchased an After Laughter cd and cassette, I’m stoked
50: what’s an odd thing you collect? journals that I never use
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate the twinkling at the beginning of Fleetwood Mac’s “Everywhere” with Shalla
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? homeboy can like... get it, me talking about myself vs me talking about ______, there’s LOTS but I just can’t remember :’(
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I’ve seen all!
RHPS: I’m “eh” towards the movie itself but the atmosphere of seeing it in a theatre is the best fucking experience!!! This weekend I went to a shadowcast for Halloween second year in a row, thinking of making it annual :)
Heathers: can quote it start to finish as though it were a favorite song, love this movie
beetlejuice: it’s good, Winona Ryder is such a gem, and the scene with the banana boat song is cinematic gold
pulp fiction: it’s good, not a favorite but I can appreciate it
54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? can’t think of anyone rn
55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? everything I do is dramatic, every point I’ve made has been made dramatically
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? genuine, genuine, genuine
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? made me feel loosey goosey, and yes
58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? hi yes this is vodka aunt speaking, I like vodka. Wine mom is no one because wine tastes horrible
59: what’s your favorite myth? I’ve never looked into myths, but Medusa just sounds like a riot
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes, poetry is nice, but it’s rare I find ones I really am a fan of
I like listening to T.S. Elliot read his four quartets and "Pins and Needles" by Dua Saleh
61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? given: a tween magazine that I decorated with obscene language that ended up being secret-santaed to my theatre director. Received? Probably a shirt with a picture of a random blonde girl saying “nevermind” from my mom (sorry mom)
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? if I need refreshing wake up call, I’ll drink OJ
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? My bookshelf is organized by favorites, idc about my music
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? midnight blue at 10 pm
65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? lotssss
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? any collection of flowers that are all white, or a collection of colors that are moody and vampy
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? heavy, like I’m walking in water
68: what’s winter like where you live? hopefully no snow this year or ever
69: what are your favorite board games? Translated, it’s called “get angry, man” but essentially it’s Sorry
70: have you ever used a ouija board? no
71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? I haaaaate teaaaaa but chamomile if I HAVE to drink some when I’m sick
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes
73: what are some of your worst habits? ripping the skin off around my nails, biting my nails
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. genuine
75: tell us about your pets! I HAVE A BIRD NAMED CHARLIE AND HE IS TOO COOL FOR ME
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? a cog psy assignment
77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink, aesthetically; yellow flavourfully(?)
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? If I don’t ever see an unironic facebook minion meme ever again, I can tolerate them
79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? can’t remember :( lots of cute things done by lots of cute people but I have a horrible memory
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? grey, no
81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. you know the blue in Blue from Blue’s Clues’ fur, well that
82: are/were you good in school? I was, now I’m not
83: what’s some of your favorite album art? ahhhh can’t think of any. I’m sure I will literally 2 seconds after I post this
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? no, I’m too indecicive and I can’t commit
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don’t, used to read archie digests though
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? yeah, as a concept (AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA)
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Bad Genius, Moonlight, Donnie Darko, The Matrix, What We Do In The Shadows
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? idk anything about art
89: are you close to your parents? not that close but i love em
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Vancouver, love everything
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? hopefully my family and I can vacation this year, it’s been a while
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drownnn
93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? just down
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? @millport
95: what are your plans for this weekend? this past HALLOWEEKEND I went to a frat party, saw a shadowcast of rocky horror, and spent time with good friends :) Next weekend sucks, I’m studying.
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?
INFJ
Libra
Slytherin
98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? would have been a long time ago, summer after grade 9. The hike was for five days and I was super sick, so I couldn’t realy heal properly. Plus, my period just started so everything felt shit. But overall I loved it lmao
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. semi charmed life! Not because my soul is like “ooh, meth” but it’s just a perfect song
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? past, so I could have the power to completely change my present
I tag @kabul1998 and anyone who is up for some tag-answering
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A Chance At Normal
Request: Omg! Could you do Max meeting his girl's (your) parents for the first time??? - @negan--is--god
A/N: Hi!! Hope you like it!! It was a pleasure to write!! Thank you for requesting!!
Max was anxiously pacing the living room of your apartment. Your parents were coming over for dinner and they didn’t know about Max or what he had done when you first moved in.
You were in the kitchen cutting up vegetables and putting them in the pan to cook them. “What if they don’t like me? What if we tell them about the stuff before? What if..,” you heard him ramble.
You smiled as you wiped your hands on a towel near by and draped it over your shoulder. “Max. We’ve talked about this already,” you told him leaning back against the counter. You heard his footsteps stop. A few moments later, Max appeared around the corner.
He looked at you sheepishly. He had his hands tucked in his pockets. “I know. I know,” he said walking into the kitchen. “I just don’t want them to hate me.”
“They won’t hate you because we aren’t telling them. What they don’t know won’t hurt them. I love you Max,” you told him walking over to him and whispering that last part in his ear before you pulled back to give him a big kiss on his lips.
“I don’t deserve you,” he said breaking away for a second before capturing your lips with his again. The kiss turned heated after a few moments. Max’s hands traveled down you sides till they rested on your hips. Your hands were clasped together behind his head as you pulled him down to you forgetting completely about the food on and in the oven.
You were interrupted what seemed like hours later when a knock on the apartment door echoed through the space. “Shit! Fucking hell,” you yelled when the sound of burnt food wafted to your nose. Behind you, you heard Max whisper a “fuck” of his own. Another knocked sounded from the door and your eyes found the time. 5:30, shit...
You had forgot about your parents coming over for dinner and to meet Max for the first time while you had an intense make out session here in the kitchen. “Take the food out of the oven and trash it,” you ordered Max. “I have to go let them in. Fuck.”
“Yes ma’am,” Max played as you hurried out of the kitchen. You stopped and whipped around to face him. Your eyes were serious. “Sorry,” he apologized quickly.
You huffed walking towards the door. Taking a moment to calm your nerves, you took a deep breath and put a fake smile on your face as you pulled the door open. “Mom! Dad!,” you squealed enveloping them in a hug.
“Oh darling it is so good to see you,” your mother said wrapping her arms around you. “What on earth is that smell?,” she questioned letting you and walking deeper in the apartment.
“Hey darlin’,” your dad said hugging you and placing a small kiss on the side your head.
You heard your mother scream when she walked into the kitchen. Next, you heard the sound of pans clamoring on the floor. Groaning as you walked into the kitchen, you saw Max bent down cleaning up the spilled burnt food. “(Y/N), why is this man in your house? Did he break in?”
You laughed when you saw Max’s eyes land on your mother then shake his head before he went back to cleaning up the food. “Umm mom no this is not an intruder. This is Max, my boyfriend.”
“Your boyfriend?,” you mother questioned looking between you and Max. “Yay! Thomas our baby girl is growing up,” she cheered.
You walked over to Max and started to help him. “They seem nice,” he whispered to you. You peered up from the floor to find your father staring intently at Max. You cleared your throat drawing him out of his gaze.
“Mom, Dad, this is Max. Max, this is my mother, Rylie, and my father, Thomas.”
“Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N) it is a pleasure to meet you,” Max said standing and walking over to them. Your mother gladly accepted his hand and giggled when Max whispered something in her ear. When he shook your father’s hand, no words were spoken only a shared eye lock and a silent mutual understanding.
“Y’all still like Chinese? The sesame chicken for you mom and dad sweet and sour chicken, right?,” you inquired. They both quickly nodded their heads. “Max will you call it in? Get what we usually get and I’ll go pick it up.”
“Yes ma’am,” he played, “Be careful. There are some serious creeps out there.” You stopped and gave him a look. He then started laughing while your parents just stood there confused. The irony of this situation was too much.
“I will be back in a bit. So y’all talk, get to know each other, I don’t care just don’t let anyone die,” you told them grabbing your purse and keys before heading out the door.
----
It was about thirty minutes later when you peeked your head back inside your apartment. The sound of laughter radiating from the kitchen made you smile as you walked deeper into the apartment.
Your mom was sitting on a stool beside Max. Her arms was draped on his shoulder as they talked. Your father was sitting across from them listening and chuckling along with your mother. Max was the first one to see you. “Hey baby,” he cooed sliding off his stool and towards you.
“Hey, looks like you had a good time,” you told him as he grabbed the bags from your hands. You slightly stood on your tippy toes and gave him a peck on the lips. He was about to try and make it more before you quickly pulled away. “Remember what got us in trouble in the first place,” you whispered to him barely slapping his should.
“You are going to kill me,” Max whispered back.
“Don’t worry baby,” you mocked, “I’ll make it up to you later.”
You heard Max ‘mmhmm’ as you slipped past him. “Food as arrived,” you cheered to your parents as they stared at you and Max after your little interaction.
Max brought the bags to the table and you quickly handed everyone their meals before you started to devour your food. Through the whole dinner casual talk was made. Your parents shared some embarrassing stories about your childhood. Even though you saw the hurt behind Max’s eyes he smiled and laughed with each story.
“Oh honey,” you mother cried after glancing at the clock. “We should get going. It’s pretty late outside and like Max said there are some creeps out there,” she laughed. You and Max looked at each other and shared a nervous laugh as you mother died of laughter.
“Goodnight baby girl,” you dad said wrapping his arms around you and placing a big smooch on your forehead. When he released you, he walked over to Max and gave him a hug as well. “You take care of my girl, ya hear me?,” he told him as he pulled away.
“Yes sir,” Max replied. “I won’t let anything happen to her. She’s my girl too,” he said as he smiled at you.
“Alright guys. Y’all be careful on the drive home,” you told your parents as you almost pushed them out of the door and gave them a small wave until they were out of sight. “Ahh, they’re finally gone,” you cheered as shut the door and turned to face Max.
He had a big cheshire grin on his face. “I happen to like your parents very much,” he chided as you walked over to him and laced your arms together around his neck.
“Yeah. I bet you do,” you leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips. “How about we continue what we had going on earlier?,” you asked him against his lips.
“Sounds good to me baby,” he said before capturing your lips with his as he led you back to your room never breaking the kiss or yours arms wrapped around him.
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Thank you for reading!! If you want to be added/removed from the tag list please let me know!!
Tag list: @starbabysparkle @thedeadwalks @jasoncrouse @its-bri19 @ryangoslingstanktop @aalexandra2712 @namelesslosers @elinyaes @zoesmama2024 @kylorenlover15 @miiraal @toxic-ink @mwesterfeld1985 @myladytitania @sweetsweetpeach @memphisgirl1977 @kellyn1604 @negan-is-god @ali-pennell @koisandbois @mac5323 @jeffrcy@themadhattersqueen @nicetryjackass @yellatthetopofyourlungs @mrsjosierainbow @maui137 @magellan-88
People I can’t tag: @myheart4ever47
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lol sorry for another tag but here we are again xD (i have 7 more of marlon’s to do smh but here’s one jori @yellowhalcyon tagged me in a while ago that i took forever to do ahhh sorry !!!)
“let’s pretend 2016 was good” - list at least 8 (16 if you can!) good things that happened to you in 2016. then tag as many people as you want to spread the positivity!
i saw 5sos live !! it was literally everything i could have imagined and more <3
i saw halsey live too haha and it was so good okay that woman...an actual godsend
i finished sophomore year of high school which means i’m more than halfway through high school !! (i mean now i’m like halfway done with junior year too lol so that’s even closer to being done woo hoo!)
i worked my first summer job (technically i guess lol) at a summer camp with the most adorable kids and i'm working there again soon!
bts and kpop in general literally like ...took over my life...debatable if that’s good or not lol but it makes me insanely happy so xD
this goes along with the last one but like...y’all...i got tickets to wings ?? somehow ??? i still don’t even know ahhh !!
i started zumba at the ymca with some of my friends !! honestly it’s so fun like we just do a lot of shimmying to some great latin music lol it’s such a good time
i walked past the hamilton stage door 3 times lol (didn’t see any of the cast but i mean i was still starstruck)
i got to see my extended family so much more this year (not for v happy reasons but still) and it’s honestly the best ahhh i love my cousins so much especially ^-^
luke cage ?? daredevil season 2 ?? fucking bye !!! claire temple can have me like she’s literally taken me i am hERS
me and my friend finished game of thrones holy shit only took us 10 months (we’re so stupid too lol we didn’t space it out at all we just did like 15 episodes at a time every few months ahh)
i dyed my hair which was so fun omg and i know i keep talking about dying it purple and not actually doing it but like...hopefully soon xD
i got my permit omg guess who can drive (with a legal adult) in the car !!! this bitch !!!! i drove for an hour today in the mall parking lot and it was terrifying haha but i didn’t hit anything so yay!
i turned 16 omg i forgot about that ??? if you know me pretty well or you’ve just been paying attention haha then you’ll know my favorite movie (eVER) is the sound of music and like ...i’m not kidding when i say i’ve literally been waiting at least 10 years to be 16 going on 17 like !!!
i saw quite a few wonderful movies...to name a few: kubo and the two strings, the man from u.n.c.l.e. (that was actually in 2016 omg wow), rogue one, eight days a week, mad max: fury road
i made !! so many new friends !!! i couldn’t name all of you if i tried bc i’d for sure leave someone out but just know that i love each and every one one of you and talking to you is the best <333 if we’re not friends already then like pls i love talking to people and i promise you if we start talking it’ll be really hard to stop bc i yell about things 24/7, there are many people that can confirm this xD
ahh yay i made it to 16 !! gUESS WHO I’M GONNA TAG HAHAHA @lovelybenny this one’s for you bitch (i 100% mean this in the nicest way possible bc i LOVE YOU but like oh my god i can���t believe you) ^-^
+ ofc if you are not marlon and want to do this tag you are more than welcome to xD
#my tags#this is for you marlon xD#i almost didn't include bitch#but you called me a dick so tHERE#(i don't mind lol i'm just petty)#anyways ahhh i'm so glad 2016 is over haha#but in all honesty jori's right in what they said in their tag like#every year sucks#2016 was just a year where we noticed it more#and especially with the things coming up (on fRIDAY yikes) this next year is definitely not going to be an easy one#but we can do it !! we're gonna make it guys don't worry ^-^#we have each other and we all have things and people that make us happy and feel good#and i know we are going to be okay <333#i hope your 2017 is lovely and that you are feeling okay!!#if not i'm always here to talk#(i'm always here anyways lol like ...if you wanna scream about something...I'M READY)#count how many times i said lol I DARE YOU#it's way too many ahh#things i say/use too often: 'ahh' 'lol' 'xD' '^-^' 'haha' '!!' '??' i could go on
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When We First Met
In which Kate and Devin watch a movie about a time traveling asshole who learns nothing.
Kate: Her boobs look weird. Wow, intense puppy dog eyes
Devin: Sorry I had technical difficulties where I had no sound. Fixed now. I will trust you on the boobs.
Kate: I think we’ll see them again. What?! Sea turtles are great. That would be a good date, what is wrong with you?
Devin: This is definitely a date. I am not saying I support the premise of this movie, but I see where he would get hung up on her.
Kate: She is smiling at him like she’s interested. But he has also done the majority of the talking.
Devin: Don't leave your drinks on the counter!
Kate: Very bad idea. Is she not about to make out with him
Devin: She definitely is putting her face too close to his face to not be planning to date him. She took him home! Kiss her! Oh, her boobs are weird
Kate: Right!
Devin: Wow, dude, inappropriate. Why did you even come? Do not ever drink tequila from a bottle. Gross, Your head is in a toilet. Don't walk in in that dress
Kate: So this is after the wedding?
Devin: I thought engagement party but those are wedding clothes.
Kate: Yeah doesn’t quite match. How are you so drunk already, it’s so bright outside still
Devin: Cause he chugged vodka like it was water
Kate: OMG plates? Why are there plates? I was liking Avery before this. She doesn't care about your shit dude, this is her job
Devin: Which one is Avery?
Kate: Bride. He's so self centered
Devin: Ok, it was an engagement party. Weird wedding outfits for that
Kate: Why was she wearing a wedding dress! Also you normally have engagement parties at least a month or two before the wedding. This seems just like "good guy" porn
Devin: You aren't over it after 3 years? This is totally "nice guy" sympathy porn
Kate: That was not the vibe she was giving off at all. And she's been with that other guy since the very next day
Devin: He's a pegasus!
Kate: Does Avery's friend not know anything about nice guy? Haven't they been friends this entire time? Ok i do want the two friends to get together though. Why is Noah so awful
Devin: I like the sweater vest? But he is very awful
Kate: Why do people make movies about dumb people? The sweater vest is ok though, you're right.
Devin: I also really like this photo booth
Kate: The photo booth is great. How are you not internalizing what you're saying to yourself right now?
Devin: Yeah how have they stayed friends for 3 years? He's such a shit
Kate: I don't stay friends with guys whose only interest in me is fucking me. I just don't
Devin: And he does not seem subtle. Jesus, 2014 was 3 years ago?
Kate: How had he not figured out until now he'd gone back in time
Devin: The magic of being blackout drunk and living in the same spot for 3 years
Kate: This poor gas station attendant
Devin: Does red bull make flavors? Apparently it makes flavors
Kate: We might have to try that. For science
Devin: I like that he forgot where his friend worked
Kate: Omg, he's going to fuck up his friend's future
Devin: Don't fuck up Max's future!!!
Kate: Why are you chasing her down? How have you not figured out when it is yet? Newspapers, trust the newspapers. Nice, bride, tell him what for. This took you way too long
Devin: What kind of apartment is this?
Kate: His excitement over completely ruining his friend's happy engagement is upsetting me. And yeah, weird ass apartment
Devin: Ok but the original date was good. Just do that and make a move earlier!
Kate: Nope, he's super dumb and doesn't understand human interaction. Why are you already so pissed that your friend started talking to another person, that's what you do at parties. You haven't grown up at all in 3 years
Devin: I am creeped out by him so much
Kate: How is he going to learn to be a better person by repeating this night if he couldn't learn to be a better person in 3 years? I would not have left a party with him. Stalker
Devin: Maybe he's normally not like this? And he'll realize that he's been fixated on her for some reason other than actually liking her?
Kate: Oohh, like he recently had a bad breakup? And he's fixating on her as a different girl who got away. I would maybe be ok with that
Devin: Or like he's clinging to that year of his life and by extension her?
Kate: Cause he just lost his job or something?
Devin: I mean, he seems to still be playing piano in a bar and his friend said he dropped out of business school.
Kate: But he dropped out of business school before he met her
Devin: Why, why would you react this way? Never undo your pants!
Kate: Is he going to wake up in prison? Ahh, he's not, bummer
Devin: Did he type in her number? How is he texting her and not realizing they aren't friends?
Kate: Her number is still in his phone?
Devin: Those plates are terrible
Kate: They are really bad, right!!
Devin: This is an impressive reaction for 3 years ago
Kate: I mean it was a pretty creepy night for her. A stalker got into her house
Devin: Fair. It's like her dress is too big or too low or something?
Kate: Her boobs are hiked too high in it? Like, they're taped in the wrong place?
Devin: I would like to make curse objects and just leave them around to be triggered in super specific situations. For the record I will believe you if you tell me you are time traveling
Kate: Thanks, I promise not to abuse that. I will also believe you
Devin: Thanks
Kate: You're bad at this Noah. Please be celibate for the rest of your life
Devin: I wish this actor played less stupid characters, cause I do like him
Kate: I agree! Why does he agree to this shit? He was super confident the first night they met?
Devin: Right? He did good! Don't neg girls
Kate: Yeah ok fuck you Max. You no longer get me rooting for you and Cary
Devin: haha she's a dunkin donut!
Kate: Yeah that's great. Cary is maybe the only good character? I think something must be wrong with Avery because of the plates.
Devin: This is painful
Kate: Seriously, how was he not like that the original timeline? Oh god, seriously dude, way to be such a douche
Devin: Nooo! Please don't let this work
Kate: Seriously? No this working is. just, unacceptable. Nothing indicated she was interested in this kind of thing before now
Devin: Wtf he has frosted tips... in 2017
Kate: Yeah, i do not know. Everything is weird. It is too early in this movie. Are they fuck buddies? Oh no, I really hate time travel where they can't remember the time in between
Devin: Yeah I feel like he should remember the time. Even if we skip ahead, he should like suddenly get all the memories
Kate: He really should. How are you hearing nothing she's saying?
Devin: Because he doesn't think of her as person
Kate: Yup, and clearly never has. Also how did a one night stand make him this person?
Devin: WTF is that outfit. That can not be his vehicle
Kate: Apparently it can be
Devin: Running in leather pants? This is terrible. Everything about this is bad.
Kate: You were not invited. You can't just invite yourself to shit, so fucking rude
Devin: This is a weirdly long scene
Kate: It was probably fun to shoot? But yeah, super weirdly long. Also why do they keep commenting about how Ethan's not sweating and has a ton of energy?
Devin: Does Carrie like him? Even though he's terrible?
Kate: I really really fucking hope not. So, Carrie knows him better as Avery’s fuckbuddy than she did when they were friends? That's weird. You know nothing about her past three years?! No, I do not want to watch them connect.
Devin: Don't waste food and drink!
Kate: Also if Noah gets to know Carrie in all the timelines and then makes her fall in love with him in the eventual timeline I will be so pissed
Devin: You know he will
Kate: No. I mean, going into this movie I knew it was very unlikely I wouldn't hate it, but I was hoping. And now he's going to take Max's promotion? I mean, I guess it’s not going to last for long? But still
Devin: I feel bad for AC/DC guy
Kate: Wow, Angus has creepy eyes
Devin: Avery does seem weirdly pissed at Carrie
Kate: Maybe Carrie is also in love with Avery? That would be a twist. Wait, but that wouldn't make Avery be mad at her
Devin: WTF are these wine prices?
Kate: Seriously, it’s a fucking jazz bar. Also if he works there how does he not know the prices?
Devin: Well he works the piano
Kate: Still. I feel like you get familiar with a place
Devin: WTF is this house?
Kate: Holy shit. That is a house.
Devin: Please let Max be okay
Kate: Yeah, I'm super worried about Max.
Devin: Okay, confirmation that the terrible plates are Avery's fault. Also you don't remember ANY of your relationship! How can you be happy with that?
Kate: That would be the most terrifying thing in the world to me - having lost 3 years. Noah still doesn't think of her as a person
Devin: Huh, well Carrie's life is good apparently?
Kate: Yeah, Noah definitely bought the gallery. Or at least that's my guess. He wanted her out.
Devin: Oh, that would make sense. I love his weird fake fat.
Kate: Where are all the people?
Devin: He's not going to have any idea what to do at work! This is horrifying!
Kate: Biggest fucking nightmare. Does he speak Chinese in the future? Oh, yeah, obviously, it’s how you got the position. Wow, those are just business words strung together
Devin: Ok, he is doing okay. Maybe it just takes longer than he's ever stuck around?
Kate: I do like that he's having some memories. Oh no, what's going to happen with Max? Well, I mean, if Noah legit out performed him it’s not necessarily his fault. Also why would Avery want to be with someone like that?
Devin: Yeah, I mean Noah learned Chinese
Kate: He clearly worked really hard for it, that's not a bad thing
Devin: No idea why Avery likes new Noah though. Whoop whoop NC!
Kate: Yeah!! What the fuck is this? You don't fire people for taking personal days
Devin: I hate this idea that to be successful you can't have a life
Kate: Nothing about this timeline makes sense. This is possibly the dumbest timeline. So many bad tropes.
Devin: Is she secretly fucking Ethan? I hope she is secretly fucking Ethan
Kate: Ohhhhh, that would be so great! That's not going to be the song you sang to her
Devin: His fake fat is still cracking me up
Kate: You don't really lose muscle memory that quick
Devin: Oh, sad. Puking Ethan
Kate: Poor Ethan. You're the grossest Noah
Devin: Avery made a weird face. I think she still loves Ethan
Kate: I think so too. Or at the very least has very large doubts
Devin: Hahaha, those damn plates
Kate: Ethan thinks it’s beautiful.
Devin: I missed him saying he thought it was beautiful
Kate: He did! He called the plate beautiful and it was great! I think Ethan and Avery match cause never of them have any character. But again, Noah only hear it when a dude tells him, not when his own girlfriend is acting weird. Also why doesn't she just leave him?
Devin: Apparently because she doesn’t want to fail? And she cares about him even though it's not love. He's a creep
Kate: Yeah, he's not a good guy, he's a creep. Nooooooo, why! Carrie. What the fuck. You could just let the night progress normally! Why are you doing this?
Devin: Again, they were already going to meet. Just do things normal!
Kate: You know the best way for things to happen! And it’s how they already did!
Devin: Wait is he going to learn that all the things about Avery he loved were things about Carrie?
Kate: How would he have not learned these things in the years they knew each other? Also i hate that trope. This is maybe worse than him getting together with Avery in the end because then at least supposedly they actually knew each other and had a relationship? But him and Carrie did not have anything and he never bothered to get to know her for 3 years.
Devin: Yeah
Kate: In 3 years! You never learned anything about Avery! You just thought you loved her!
Devin: Seriously, you learned nothing about either of these women! And you still aren't treating them like people
Kate: Ohhh, is that why Avery was angry when she made out with the doctor?! Cause that finally makes sense.
Devin: Yeah that is a satisfying answer. Noah still doesn’t remember the 3 years!
Kate: He gets memories the longer he stays, I think? I really don't want him to just go back to being hung up on another woman. Do not run after her
Devin: Someone in costuming loves the boob squish
Kate: It’s weird that he gets to change a night based on future knowledge, but then the 3 years he doesn't have any knowledge. Please hit him Carrie.
Devin: Hit him
Kate: You fucktard. You have learned nothing. No, there doesn't. There does not have to be a moment where she's thought of you
Devin: Why would she have had a moment when you haven't even thought about her until striking out with Avery?
Kate: Seriously. Don't go back in time again! You haven't been able to fix anything but one night. You don't love her. You don't know her
Devin: Maybe he'll learn to actually do something instead of gaming his friends like robots
Kate: Idiot. i kinda hope he doesn't learn and that is just ends with, you can't game friends.
Devin: This is stupid. You learned nothing
Kate: YOU DON’T KNOW HER. Also Avery and Ethan are way better friends that he deserves
Devin: Yes. But I do like his engagement party outfit
Kate: You literally went from 'being in love' with one girl to 'being in love' with another without spending any real time with either of them. No, this was just about as bad as i thought it was going to be.
Devin: Yeah this sucked
Kate: Why. Just why.
Devin: But it had such pretty people in it! I wanted it to be better
Kate: I really did. I wanted it to turn the trope. It did not. Who thinks this is a good premise?
Devin: Men.
Kate: Hahaha! In this case men are fucking idiots. So review. What are our categories?
Devin: Uh, tropes, title, actors… The actors were very pretty
Kate: They were. And they did a good job
Devin: Noah was a shit head who learned nothing and the other characters weren't people. Title was decent. Catchy, captures the whole time travel thing pretty well
Kate: Yeah, I agree about the title
Devin: Tropes, uh… “time travel to redo a day over and over”, “learn your life was good to start”, “If at first you don't succeed, bang her friend”
Kate: “Things you find attractive about some is about someone else”, “Be mean and people will like you”?
Devin: “The perfect scenario you thought you wanted screws over your best friend and makes you miserable”
Kate: The dumbest one. “You can’t be successful and happy”
Devin: “Jobs like "jazz pianist" and "charity organizer" are legitimate careers with which you can afford an upper middle class lifestyle”, “business school makes you fat and miserable”, “best friend hits on women aggressively despite them telling him to go away”
Kate: Uugghh, and is considered good with women because of it
Devin: Yeah. Overall score? Because tropes are making me mad
Kate: Like 2 out of 10
Devin: I'd say....5/10? Awful plot, but good actors and pretty set pieces
Kate: I could be convinced to go as high as 3 for props and set
Devin: I didn't want to rage quit the movie like that terrible “First Time” one. I feel like under 4 I quit the movie
Kate: I would have easily quit this if I hadn’t been watching with you, to be honest
Devin: Haha, ok, 3.5? Split the difference?
Kate: Yeah, 3.5
Devin: Alright. Official score for “Adult Man Learns Nothing” is a 3.5/10. Next time you should pick the movie because clearly all I watch is trash
0 notes
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okay taz fucking liveblog all in one post under the cut so no spoilers happen here we goooo
i’m listening to it w/o downloading it first which is gonna mean my internet is going to be SO SLOW but its worth it
i cant believe he fucking ended it on episode 69 griffin is a monster
i just realized this shit is 3 hours long and cuts right through lunch so i know imma be on my way out to eat a bunch of twinkies in about an hour in to the episodes
thank YOU griffin mcelroy, this podcast got me out of the most horrible depressive episode (along with the fallout 4 monster factories) and i love it so much. shut ur face you wonderful boy.
okay okay okay okay okay okay im not ready its about to start i’m not ready here we go
FUCK IT UP DAVENPORT YOU WILD BITCH
THE GREATEST STARSHIP CAPTAIN THAT EVER LIVED
im literally already crying
this music is so good also
is it greg grimauldis
oh wait no its john hi john!!! you goopy boy
oh no he’s bad blast him boys blast him boys
“it’s just one guy shouldn’t be an issue” “it’s a nice suit tho”
“i stole your cousins shoes” TAAKO “if you’re mad about it direct it at that man over there” “i’m wearing the shoes” “CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT SHOES”
griffin’s excited dm voice mixed with this fucking awesome music “LETS ROLL INITIATIVE” djaklfjkl;asdjfkljlKJALKJFLKDAJLFJDALKJFLKJL;J
merle starting out strong with healing for once i’m so proud of him
and maxes them the fuck out NICE MERLE
“the first death, who knew it would be so painful”
“hey merle i know i give you shit - thanks for healing!” “oh! ‘s good to be appreciated” MERLE BB
i wonder if garyl will make an appearance in this 3 hour episode bc i miss him a lot
GO MERLE WITH THE CIRCLE OF KNIVES AND HURT
nat 20 on the swing
“yeah sorry trav i’m SO good at magic”
jesus trav with the the fucking 6 attacks what the fuck
“where was i at? 92-” “fuck off”
john hitting them w/ the fus ro knife
if john gets ahold of that sword i s2g magnus you should have held onto it
OH FUCK OH FUCK GRIFFIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING
griffin u are describing the sexiest tar monster hello new fav enemy like hi johns fucking tarsona
“ultimate john!” “demi john-” “sephajohn”
i saw justins tweet about them dying i swear to god griffin mcelroy
griffin sounds way too delighted to be describing merle feeling back fire burn inside him
EXCUSE ME DEATH SAVES FOR MERLE ALREADY
bangs my head on a table they are rolling so bad oh my god they’re all gonna die
taako you beautiful flip wizard thank god you avoided that
“regular non magical amount of fear”
taako HIT EM ABRA CA FUCK YOU IM CRYING AHHH THATS MY BOYYYYYY
clutches my chest merle please please please get a success
NOOOOOOOO MERLE COME ON BUDDY PULL THROUGH if merle dies i die
rip blue orb and also fuck you
magnus has so many weapons
okay john weird face beam thats p cool
“hey! my armor, finally works”
i wonder where griffin got the inspo with this boss fight, his boss fights are always so interesting? like the orbs and stuff are such an interesting concept imo
TAAKO IS OUT TOO WHAT THE FUCK THEY’RE ALL GONNA DIE AND JOHN JUST HEALED WHAT THE FUCK GRIFFIN THEY CANT DO THIS
they’re all fucking out oh my god whats happening i cant i’m gonna cry this is horrible
i’m gonna puke griffin what the FUCK
who is merle gonna choose
its PAN god thats so gay merle/pan otp rip my soul
IM ALWAYS GONNA BE THERE FROM NOW ON FJALDFJKLSDAJFLJASLDFJLASJF I LOVE PAN SO MUCH im fucking sobbing
TROOOOOOOOTHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH THATS MY MOOOOOM
puts my chin in my hands time for taakos bond huh
YES YES YES YES YES YESY ES TAAKO
LIGHT ‘EM THE FUCK UP
THIS IS SO AWESOME
HE IS FUCKING DOING PHARAH’S ULT I’M SCREAMING I CAN NOT
why didnt they destroy the green orb first god boys please
clint is such a cute dad
let him summon garfield!!!
i love griffin refusing to describe garfield
“i cant handle that emotionally”
FREE SAMPLES
i’ll put it on your taaaaaaaaab
ROSWELL ROSWELL ROSWELL ROSWELL
roswell’s music swelling is making my heart hurt
roswell is so pure
i swear to god taako who are you about to fucking call
TAAKO YOU ARE SO DUMB I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
“you’re all double blind!”
this fight has gone on for an entire hour aldfkjladjf;sjfl;djaflkdja;fd
merle is so good this episode
god this music is beautiful
“wait before you go do you see the mask i made that looks like a bear face?” ME TOO MAGNUS
NO THE BOND ENGINE
THE BOY S IM CRYING THEYRE ALL HOLDING ON TO EACH OTHER AND IM FJADLKFJLKADJFKLJDS IM SCRYIN SO MUCH
IM FUCKING SCREAMAING AND SOBBING OH MGY DO AHHHHHH
i literally am crying so much my eyes burn
“you got it buddy” f uck my heart
what happened to davenport ajldfkjakldjflk the ship ATE HIM
as soon as time froze i was like istus is here yall
taako what are you doing bb
KLAAAAAARRRRG
THEY’RE WINNING
taako oh my GOD
pls save lucretia
YOURE GOING TO BE AMAZING
how is there still a fucking hour left of this episode oh my god
RIDING ON GARYL’S BACK WOOOO YEAH FUCK IT UP
im crying again this is so much oh my god i literally dont know im so emotional i buried myf ace in my hands and sobbed this fucking podcast is so much
awww scuttlebuddy
why are in the rockport limited omg
“just like you left it” griffin they left it destroyed
“i’m not god” “thats exactly what god would say” “mhm” “mhm”
what is going on my head hurts lajdflkajdflsj;f
“i’m so proud of how you turned out” “thank you jeffandrew”
“i’m getting a migraine” god me too
oh thank god davenport is okay
JEFFANDREWWWW
they’re so dumb
“hey everybody! johann was right! WE WON!”
i’m a fucking wreck and THERE IS STILL AN HOUR LEFT WHAT THE FUCK
im legit sobbing over dryad lesbians
did he say mayor cassidy oh my GOD
angus is my fucking smart and perfect son AND HE’S GOT SO MANY FRIENDS AND HE PLAYS SOCCERA FJALDKFJALSJFLAJF IM CRYING
davenport made me start giggling and sobbing at the same time
LUP AND BARRY ARE FUCKING GRIM REAPERS NOW FUCK YEAH
BARRY AND LUP AHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHH AHH IM SOBBING AGAIN
still 50 minutes left how?????
“i think you forgot to make it taste good” “it’s kinda artisanal-” “you’re full of dog shit sometimes y’know?” “that’s what it is, i put dog shit in it”
what part of that sounded like i was joking JUSTIN
taako’s hogwarts
“students in my school have to duel constantly”
ITS MAGICALLY DELICIOUS
ren is perfect and i am dead
“i should mention my boyfriend is death and he’ll be staying over from time to time” AHHHHHHHHHHH
taako you’re GOING ON VACATION TO THE AFTERLIFE JAKLFJDA;LFJAS
i hope someone draws taako on a beach chair in trunks next to a pool of souls
“i promise not to take you anywhere too spooky” “you know what? i’m a big boy” “i know you are”
BIG TALL BOY ANGUS AJDFKLJALDF;ASFJ HE’S GROWING UP I CANT
“i’ll have my people talk to your people sir!”
“you changed my life” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“i know about silverware” this boy is too smart for all of us
i love merle with my whole entire heart i can hardly stand it
merle basically started adventure camp thats adorable
i wish clint mcelroy was my dad he’s so adorable and sweet and funny and good i’m having a moment help me
i am like weirdly fond of lord sterling
magnus and taako constantly try to get in touch with merle but he’s too much of a dad to ever realize it i’m SCREAMING
earl merle I LO VE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH HE’S SO SILLY
merlegaritaville
VINE LOVERS HE NEEDS TO STOP
merle i love you
“mookie’s the BEST” they all love the best npcs
AUNT LUP AND AUNT LUCRETIA AND UNCLE MAGNUS AND UNCLE TAAKO AND UNCLE BARRY
FUCK THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL IM GONNA BE SICK NO I DIE
my eyes have not stopped leaking since the episode started
oh my god this fucking episode ends on a lesbian WEDDING GRIFFIN MCELROYYYYYYYY
im going to DIE
im gonna D IE IM GONNA DIE
“if you all excuse me i- have to shit” JKLFDSAJKL;FJADL;FJL;SJL;FASD
hammer and tails (a dog school)
okay holds up a hand griffin fuck off with this death shit excuse me
travis i heard you break up a little there and literally cant handle a second of this
THIS IS DISGUSTING AND SAD FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK
im sobbing so loudly fuck im glad i’m home alone fuck
i cant breathe oh my god
im gonna throw up i already know where this is going
thank god they’re all friends with death
i caNT
TRAVIS IF UR CRYING I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO DIE
i cant take this
its so emotional im literally leaving my body
FUCK
“you lived so much longer than i thought you were going to” GIRL SAME
griffin literally descended from heaven to give underdeveloped characters some personality when no one else would
god i need to fucking blow my nose
“he said he was a cleric but we can never be sure”
as magnus rushes in GRIFFIN MCELROY
fuck that was SO GOOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODY
fuck i CANT BELIEVE WE GET THEIR FUCKING WEDDING IN CANON GRIFFIN YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN
THIS MUSIC IM HYPERVENTILATING AJFKDAJDLFJALDJF AHHH
i’m light headed
god this is beautiful thank you griffin thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you so much
that was the ending you earned
ooo this music is cool.
fisher!!! where are you and junior off to huh
god...what an adventure this has been. what an amazing end. it was beautiful. thank you, boys.
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