#love me some whump tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kira-the-whump-enthusiast · 2 years

Note

Tell me about an oc that is on your mind! Who are they, what do they do, what's their deepest secret?

Thank you!! So much for the ask!! I was so happy when I saw this in my inbox :D

So there’s this OC that’s pretty much constantly living in the back of my head. He’s one of my favorite blorbos you know lol :D and his name is Zack! Just Zack, no surnames or anything.

Before I get into the rant: content warnings for attempted suicide, a lot of torture, serial murder, general bad times with very little comfort, cannibalism, and there might be more that I’m missing.

I do not have a decent visual ref of Zack yet so!! Here’s a brief description: he’s Chinese-American, has pale skin, silver upturned eyes, black hair that’s a little wavy, and he’s pretty much average height. He has a penchant for men’s suits straight from the cities of 1920′s America, with hat and all. Zack also wears a lot of silvery, snake themed accessories.

And he does have a pet snake too! It’s of a fantasy species, because I wanna have the snake be wrapped around some part of Zack’s body at (mostly) all times and I’m pretty sure you can’t do that with like. Real snakes. The snake’s name is Jörmungandr :D she’s an albino snake and also very long. And very cute ofc <2

Anyways! Zack is an AU of. My OC Zach. Yeah. Sorry about that. I’m not changing it tho. Pretty much I just took Zach and I was like “okay but what if he was immortal and everything was worse?”

Zack has never really had a good life. He grew up in 1950s American style suburbia as a transgender kid, in a household with manipulative and distant parents. It really really sucked, as one might guess. He didn’t have any friends, and he coped by developing an ego. It wasn’t enough to sustain any sort of peace of mind, though. Zack was isolated and trapped in this town, in his body, and in his painfully monotonous life. And one day, he couldn’t take it anymore, so he tried to kill himself.

He probably should have died from his attempt, but he woke up afterwards, and he was completely fine. No injuries or scars or anything. Shortly after, he realized that it was because he was some sort of immortal.

And yeah! It pretty much works by like, if he dies, he will come back to life after an hour! His body will also reset to the state it was in an hour before his death. He also doesn’t age.

After Zack realized he was immortal, he decided to skip town. No point living in a place that made him want to die.

Zack probably could have had a decent life at this point. Found some friends and people who cared about and respected him, and pursued his own passions. But the thing about Zack is that any sort of intimacy is completely off the table for him. He is terrified of it, because he doesn’t know it, and also because it leaves him too vulnerable. In his childhood, he learned that if you got close to someone, or trusted them, then they would use it against you or break it the moment it was convenient to them. So he actively avoids making any friends, or getting even a little bit close to literally anybody.

He has this manner of speaking where he often minimizes really serious things, but he also has a penchant of being really melodramatic over tiny misfortunes like getting a paper cut (it’s over-exaggerated for the humor lol).

Zack is also a really callous person. He doesn’t really see other people as like, people. Mostly because he believes that’s he’s above them, as an immortal. He’s going to live forever, and that is infinitely longer than any human lifespan. It doesn’t matter what he does to a person, because they’ll be dead in a century at most! No one will care, eventually.

And he also has a complex about being remembered. He doesn’t want to be a guy in the background forever! He deserves something better. He wants people to remember him more than anything. But he won’t make any lasting relationships with people, he’s too callous to try doing good for the world, and he has no desire or passion for the sciences or the arts.

So all these traits converge to lead Zack to find his preferred method of making his mark on the world: serial killing.

The way he sees it, people have such a fascination with serial killers, especially ones that killed their victims brutally, that if he captures someone’s fascination enough, he’ll always be remembered. And he can repeat that for as long as he lives.

And the worst thing was that he was right about it, in a way. A lot of people have discussed and speculated over his murders. In detective offices, in podcasts and blog articles, in daily conversation. And Zack has done some honestly horrible things to people. He convinces himself that it’s okay, though, because they die at the end. They don’t have to live with the pain for the rest of their lives.

(Although, sometimes he leaves people alive at the end and lets them go. Just in the hopes that they’ll remember this and him. For the rest of their lives.)

All the serial killing has absolutely gotten him in some hot water before, though. He’s let himself die numerous times to escape the authorities or a prison. Sometimes he chooses his victims wrong, and then he ends up with vengeful person after him, because he killed someone close to them.

He ended up tortured because of that, once. Zack murdered a woman’s only friends, and she hunted him down. She was just going to kill him, but then she realized he wouldn’t stay dead. So she decided to make him suffer :)

No one came to help him, afterwards. He had to patch himself up.

And sometimes, the person he’s trying to kill is a lot more dangerous than he realizes. Case in point: once, he chose a victim at random, and broke into the victim’s house. That victim ended up killing him, and he woke up in the guy’s basement.

He targeted a cannibalistic serial killer without knowing it. Yeah. Anyways, the cannibal cut off Zack’s left arm, cooked it, and forced him to eat part of it, just because he wanted to. Zack eventually died from the blood loss, but not quickly enough. He woke up with his arm still gone, since it was cut off over an hour before his death.

Eventually he did escape, though, and he got a prosthetic. I’d actually say that the origin of his prosthetic is one of his deeper secrets. Whenever someone asks, he just makes up a new story. He will never tell anyone the real story.

Another one of his deep secrets is definitely. All the serial killing he’s done. He’s not very inclined to tell anyone, since he doesn’t want to rot in a jail for the rest of eternity, and also, part of what makes his serial murders so memorable to people is that they don’t know who committed it. He won’t ruin that for himself!

Deepest secret though? That he needs a friend. Or just someone close to him. He honestly needs people. But the thing is, he doesn’t want people. They’ve hurt him too greatly. He doesn’t deserve it. So he very much denies his need for intimacy. This is a secret so deep that it’s secret even to Zack himself.

Zack is one of my favorite characters, and honestly it’s just because he’s so miserable all the time, but honestly a lot of it is his own doing but he won’t change anything he’s doing because he’s too scared of the alternatives :D

#whump #whump ocs #oc zack #the setting is a bit all over the place #it takes place in like. a version of the real world with fantasy elements mixed in #but yeah he's a guy. living in my head. doesn't have to be totally consistent tbh #btw the cannibal was my OC Isaac lol #this is definitely very long! I hope I explained the stuff well #I tend to focus on backstory stuff but I tried to also explain a lot of his personality too #it was a little hard trying to explain everything while also trying to get it to flow well #I. don't feel like editing this tho. hope its readable <2 #there is so much else I should have added but I do not have the energy to continue #alsooo if anyone else sees this I love asks about my OCs forever please send me some I'll send some asks back #my ocs <2

4 notes · View notes

himbobuck · 1 year

Text

If you have any recs for buddie fics please drop them below or send me an ask!!

#I love all sorts tbh #like me some hurt/comfort #whump as long as it ends well #(any kind from fights to kidnapping to someone ending up in the hospital etc)#as long as neither buck nor eddie are hurting each other on purpose #also fluff #and sweet fics #secret relationship #i will read most things #must be finished #cause i've been scarred by wip sorry :(#buddie #buck x eddie

1 note · View note

lightyaoigami · 2 months

Note

hi, monica. i trust your taste because i love your writing. what are your favorite niche lawlight fics? (that is, stuff you've read that not many people in the fandom would know.)

hope that you're having a good break and come back to fic refreshed (of course, if you want to). <3 your readers won't go anywhere.

hi wow what a sweet and touching message to receive ;_;

i don't know what counts as niche tbh i will just recommend some here that i don't necessarily see as often as like idk tithe to hell or those. this is in no particular order. i actually forgot to add the ratings to the list below so just be mindful of that if that's something important to you!

the primrose path by tsukinousagi: 1.5k, a beautifully done elizabethan au inspired by hamlet. as you guys probably know i am a hamlet freak and this is laser-targeted to me, the guy who has had the username theprinceofdenmark for 15 years.

summa cum laude by whydoeseverythinghappensomuch: 13k, an incredibly atmospheric college au. reminds me so much of the secret history that it makes me want to chew my own fingers off.

tear you open live inside you by anonymous: 3k, mind the tags. excellent, super in-character blood and gore. consensual but not safe or sane. you get it.

unkissed for a million days by anivhee: 1.7k, this is after L dies but it's still lawlight. it's unhappy but i liked it even as a lawlight freak and fix-it enjoyer.

what i meant to say by booklovertwilight: 6.6k, a paratext collection of light's letters to L after his death.

twenty-three by haydonjames17: 4.7k, an utterly devastating birthday for light after L's death. i'm sensing a theme in my favorites here clearly i need help of some kind.

fifteen stories down by the-night-gods-moon: 7k, this is the closest i'll get to enjoying whump. the boys get stuck in rubble after a building explosion. this fic is profoundly underrated.

our little secret by avoidfilledwithcelluloid: 3k, i actually cannot describe this one it's so good and quite unique! it's a fresh way of writing their antagonism.

hear no evil by sharptoothed: 4.5k, so few people understand how to write misa in a lawlight context but isa nails it. it's also hot so sue me.

i know the way it ends before it's even begun by halfpromise: 15k, a side story to THE death note fic of all time, those. i am deeply biased because i got a shout-out in the dedication but this fic absolutely never fails to make me tear up. it's beautifully written, moving without being trite, and is as close to a happy ending as those!lawlight will ever get.

anyway. this is but a small sample of lawlight fics that make me insane and unwell. this was a very very nice ask to receive i am genuinely moved and i literally didn't know that anyone even noticed i was on hiatus. <3

#anon #lawlight #death note #dn fic rec

82 notes · View notes

blackcatsnstrawberries · 5 months

Text

Iron Flame Thoughts! (Spoilers)

I finally finished Iron Flame (IF) and I definetly have some thoughts about it. I've seperated my thoughts into Liked, Disliked, Predictions BELOW THE BREAK LINE so people don't have to see spoilers. Also it's not in any particular order, just how it popped into my head.

Liked:

Tarin and Andarna's bickering. Her sassiness with his grumpiness was just the bees knees of adorable.

Cat, this may surprise some people but I really liked her development as she and Violet got to know each other

Gryphon Riders in general were a nice addition, I want to know more about their school/lifestyle/countr(ies)

Violets development was really good. It was great to see her know her own strength more and stand up for herself/dragons/loved ones. Huge contrast from Fourth Wing (FW)

The relationship between Violet, Mira and Brennan. Loved the way Mira punched B when she saw him but ultimately loved having her brother back. Can't wait to see more

Mamma Sorrengail's sacrifice for her kids/everyone. Heartbreaking but only way she could redeem herself

Dain's return to the "good" side. It was great development to have him see the error of his ways, say no to Varrish (which is huge for him) and then prove himself again during the hike with the Riders and then again in the final battle.

Aaric/Cam, I love me a rogue Prince so this hit all the right spots (more on him later)

Andarna being a seventh dragon. Excellent. Amazing. Can't f*cking wait to know more

The reveal of Xaden's second signet. Shook, but obviously bb knew how to control it

The relationship between the main four in Iron Squad (Vi, Rhi, Ridoc and Sawyer.) I love a good platonic friendship (more than romance stories) because I think having found family in your friends is just friggin beautiful

Sawyer and Jesinina (I know that's spelled wrong)

Varrish, bare with me I hated him but props to RY for writing and awful character. I clapped when he died.

The battle at the end

HALLUCINATION LIAM!!!

Disliked:

XADEN AND VIOLETS CONSTANT BICKERING. It gave miscommunication trope over and over.

Xaden and Violet fighting and then being like you are my gravity, I love you so f*cking much etc. This seemed very Twilight-y (and toxic TBH)

Xaden with holding everything from Violet because she wasn't asking the right questions. Frustrating.

Having Vi tortured/injured over and over again (and I say this as a whump fan) I think she does it to show Violet's strength/resilience, but it's not necessary we know she's strong.

Markham being an asshole =(

Jack Barelow coming back- I understand why I just don't like him and wanted him to stay dead

Honestly, don't like Xaden turning Venin. Obvs as of right now we don't know why she made that choice, but I don't like it.

What I think will Happen Next

Next book Xaden is going to be fighting his Venin nature for the whole book but will ultimately choose to leave at the end- fourth book he will be barely there and fifth he will either come back still fighting his Venin self OR be full Venin.

Navarre/Basgiath/Aretia will fall to the Venin

Aaric/Cam will ultimately become important because I think the King will die and Aaric will have to step up as next in line.

Andarna will be the most badass dragon in the world

I do think Violet and Xaden will be endgame IF he lives. Here are my thoughts on that:

1) Violet and the others will find a cure for the venin and save Xaden

2) Xaden will become a full Venin but when it comes time to kill Violet he will unalive himself instead (Ben Solo redemption arc) in a moment of regaining his former self. I don't want this to happen at all.

I think Xaden's mom is the Queen/Lord of the Venin, which is why they want him so badly.

This is everything that came to mind, I am sure I will find other things that fit into these lists. Let me know what you thought, or we can compare lists!

88 notes · View notes

ablatheringblatherskite · 12 days

Text

Some whump fanfics that have low-key (or high-key) traumatized me forever

(aka some of my fave whump fics I've read so far)

(will reblog with more fics the more I read!!)

You Monster

fandom: Wednesday

whumpee: Tyler Galpin

You have had nightmares for weeks, waking up covered in sweat. Tonight feels no different; but it is. There is something calling to you, deep within the woods.

By @ArchivedTrash! A second person body horror fic all about Tyler transforming into the Hyde. It's. It's just so good. Literally the first second person AND body horror fic I'd ever read and still one of my faves forever.

Who Deserves This?

fandom: The Phantom of the Opera

whumpee: the whole trio tbh, but mainly Raoul

Erik runs out of patience and lets his temper get the best of him, costing him the boy's life and Christine's pity.

By my lovely mutual @rumpletrumple. This fic messed me up good :)))

She loves a pretty face

fandom: The Phantom of the Opera

whumpee: Raoul de Chagny

Erik scars Raoul. Raoul tries to move past it, but Christine won't talk to him, and Erik won't leave him alone.

By @convenientalias! This is one of my fav POTO fics, ngl. This was just. UGH. It was so good oh my GOSH. I love me some good Raoul whump AND THIS WAS SOME GOOD RAOUL WHUMP RIGHT HERE. AUGH. Scarring, threats, manipulation, tying to a chair, sacrificial love, oh my!!

Obedience

fandom: Batfam

whumpee: Tim Drake

Something is seriously wrong with Tim—Jason just knows it. Ever since the Mad Hatter incident, Tim has been acting completely different, and the worst part is that no one believes Jason when he tells them so. But when the truth is eventually revealed, the whole family comes to realize that the situation is far worse than anyone could have ever predicted.

By @sohotthateveryonedied! This left me disturbed and with low-key an existential crisis???? With one of my fave kinds of whump, forced obedience. This fic also gave me a newfound appreciation for "Perfection whump" (whump centered around being forced to be perfect). It's just so good and whumpy AND angsty and I'm. OUGH. *CHEF'S KISS*

all the king's horses

fandom: Voltron

whumpee: Keith

It wasn’t the blade sinking into the flesh of his palm, nor the smell of wood smoke and incense permeating the air that woke Keith. Nor was it the weight of iron-wrought shackles hanging heavy from his wrists and ankles. No, it was the sinister giggle in his ear and frigid fingers carding through his head that roused Keith from a dead slumber. He didn’t remember going to sleep at all—in fact, he wasn’t so sure he’d been asleep so much as knocked out. His head ached with a throbbing pulse and he couldn’t quite bring the world into focus. The room was dark, shadows dancing along the dingy wall certainly not helping things. A groan escaped him despite himself. "Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a bit."

By @glitteringconstellations! This fic actually. was the most traumatizing thing I'd ever read HAHAHAHA. Like, not even kidding, I still haven't recovered from it. It's. Like I highly recommend it but it's VERY much horror and VERY creepy and disturbing. AND I MEAN DISTURBING. It's SO GOOD but I was definitely traumatized and not okay after :))

#whump writing #whumpblr #fic recs #asterrisks #whump #the phantom of the opera #phantom of the opera #wednesday #batfam #batman #dc #voltron legendary defender #voltron #tyler galpin #raoul de chagny #tim drake #red robin #keith voltron

32 notes · View notes

hollybell51 · 1 year

Note

ok i know you said requests are backlogged but i also read your sam winchester fic (oh my god???? so good!!!!!) and i noticed that you put dean on your tag list form and i am literally in love with him so if you get time could you do like a hurt/confort fic for him where the reader gets like seriously injured and tells him she loves him because she thinks she's dying and doesn't wanna die without saying it?

Anon you are in luck, the supernatural brainrot is still going strong. Also if you wanna be tagged in stuff make sure you submit responses to that form otherwise I don't know what usernames to put xx

The other thing

Navigation

Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Supernatural (2005)

Word count: 5.8K

Summary: hunting a ghost that only seems to attack young women, you volunteer yourself as bait. The plan doesn't exactly go to plan, leading to some confessions being made.

Content: ANGST. Angst, besties. Hurt/comfort, mainly hurt but there is some comfort there, whump (sorta), mostly Dean's perspective but still second person narrative voice (loml), probably bad characterisation but I think it's passable???? Sam is like the no. 1 Dean/you shipper, A+ wingman. Badly written emotional vulnerability but I tried I promise. Kissing, first kisses, "I love you"s, bit of blood but not too explicit, hospitals, etc. etc. Dean is a warning on his own but yknow what I love him. I may have missed some stuff so please don't hesitate to catch me on it!

Notes: ft. my freaking awful titles lmaoooo. This isn't really set during any actual episode, but I'm sorta working off only having watched the first two seasons so just assume it takes place somewhere around then. Also the more I watch this the more I just wanna grab him and put him in my pocket or something, it's so bizarre. He's so pretty. I love his cockiness, I love the little eyebrow thing he does, I love the little jaw thing he does. Sorry if I messed up any lore or anything, writing this was a fever dream but tbh I had fun, it's nice to just sorta write you know? Thanks for the suggestion Anon

“Guys, can you hurry up?”

Dean glanced over his shoulder, frantically sprinkling fuel over the exposed corpse below. He couldn’t see all that much in the darkness, but it didn’t exactly look like you had the upper hand. None of them had realised how big the ghost was until now, and with the machete it was currently slashing at you…

“Almost there!” Sam shouted, striking a match and casting it into the grave. The remains went up with a “whoomp!”, the ghost howled and stumbled back. It was difficult to really know what happened in those few moments as the light from the burning remains glinted off the metal of the machete and the ghost shimmered and began to disappear, but what was clear was that something had happened to you.

“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping your own weapon with a dull thud. You staggered, catching yourself on a headstone before your knees gave out and you sank to the ground. You were hunched over awkwardly, your shoulders heaving, hands clutched tight to your stomach.

“(Y/N)?” Dean asked, frowning. Were you hurt? Just out of breath?

“I’m alright,” you called. “Just… give me a second.”

“Shit,” Sam muttered, dropping the salt and packet of matches and running towards you. “Dean!” he yelled as he knelt down, stripping off his jacket and balling it up, pressing it to your stomach.

No, Dean thought. No, no, no, no. He was frozen, the can of fuel dangling limply from his fingers. He’d known using you as bait for a psychotic ghost murderer was a bad idea, even when you’d insisted that you’d be fine. It wasn't that he didn’t think you could handle it – he’d seen you in action enough times to know you were a force to be reckoned with – but he’d had a horrible feeling something was going to go wrong from the moment you’d laid out your plan.

“He goes after girls, right?” You’d had an uncomfortable light in your eyes, all steely determination that Dean simultaneously loved and hated. Loved because, well, it was so you and it meant you were getting shit done, hated because more often than not you were putting yourself in danger. And yes, he was aware of the hypocrisy.

He’d tried to talk you out of it, Sam had too. But once your mind was set – and set it was – no amount of convincing on anyone’s part could do anything about it. The second the idea had begun to form in your brain, the path was laid and there was no point trying to change that.

“You better get over here man, quick!” Sam’s voice dropped, but wasn’t quiet enough that Dean couldn’t hear his next words, addressed to you. “Just hold on, Dean’s coming. Keep breathing, ok?”

Fuck, that didn’t sound good. Dean’s limbs jerked back to life. He didn’t waste another second, sprinting the few metres through the forest of tombstones to where his brother was bent over you.

“Don’t just stand there!” Sam yelled, one hand pressing his jacket to your stomach. “Help me!”

It was like his body was moving on autopilot, kneeling beside you and taking over from Sam without any input from Dean himself. Dully, he noticed that there was already a warm, damp patch on the jacket, as well as a dark spot glistening darkly over your side. Shit.

“I’ll be fine,” you’d insisted when he'd raised his doubts. “I’ve got you guys. You just burn the bones fast, I reckon I can hold him off for a few minutes.” Then you’d shrugged, grinning. “And if it all goes to hell, I know you’ve got my back.”

Yeah, fat lot of help they’d been.

“What happened?” he asked.

“He got me on his way out,” you laughed bitterly. “Can you believe that? Halfway gone and he just–” You broke off, making a vague slashing gesture with your free hand. “God, I’m an idiot.”

“No, no you did fine. We shoulda been quicker.” Dean assured you, pressing harder. “Sorry,” he muttered as you let out a pained whimper.

“‘Salright,” you grimaced. “My fault. Dean, I gotta–”

“Shh, no, it’s fine. It’s ok, you’ll be ok.”

You shook your head, tears mixing with the sweat on your face. He watched one trace a path through the dirt caked on your skin. “It’s important, please.”

He shook his head. “The only thing that’s important right now is keeping your eyes open, yeah? Just… just do that.”

“I’m calling 911,” Sam said. “Just stay there, don’t move.”

“I’m not planning on taking off, don’t worry.” You smiled tightly, then your face twisted in what Dean thought was fear, panic even. It was like a punch to his stomach, he hadn’t seen you look that scared since… Well, ever. Your hand fumbled over his, trying to find something to grab.

“It’s alright,” he told you, pressing on the jacked one-handed as the fingers of the other one twined with your own. “It’s alright, (Y/N).”

“No, no Dean, you have to burn me. Make sure you salt me, uh… Sage, use sage too.”

He felt the blood drain from his face, cold rushing through him. “What?”

“Please,” you begged, your voice breaking. “I don’t wanna hurt anyone. You have to get rid of me, ok?”

Oh God. Oh God. Dean looked up, searching frantically for Sam. He was watching you while he talked to the emergency operator, his fist pressed against his mouth and his hand shaking where he held the phone. He met Dean’s eyes, shaking his head.

“You’re not gonna hurt anyone because you’re not going anywhere.” Dean’s voice was blessedly steady, despite the uncomfortable lump in his throat.

“Promise me,” you whispered, then shouted when he didn’t respond. “Promise me, Dean!”

He gripped your hand tighter, your own fingers digging harshly into his flesh. “I promise you will be ok,” he said.

You sobbed, your body heaving under the rapidly dampening jacket. That was way too much blood for Dean’s liking, and judging by the increasing urgency of Sam’s quiet conversation on the phone, he felt the same.

Your panicked gaze locked on Dean’s face, tears coursing down your cheeks. “I don’t wanna go,” you choked. “I didn’t tell you. I can’t go.”

Didn’t tell him what? It didn’t matter. He squeezed your hand in what he hoped was a more reassuring than painful way. “It’s ok, you’re not going anywhere, alright? You’re staying right here, I’ve got you.”

“You’ve gotta listen to me, Dean–”

“No, tell me later. Just hold on, save your energy.”

“Dean–”

“(Y/N) hold on!”

“Dean!”

“Dean, listen to her.” Sam had finished on the phone, the screen shining eerily on his face. At Dean’s raised eyebrow he gave a tiny nod. Yeah, there was an ambulance on the way.

“Sam, she is not gonna die.” He shook his head, turning back to you. “We’ve got all the time in the world, ok sweetheart?” He searched frantically for something to say, anything to keep your attention. He was no doctor, but he knew it would be bad if you passed out. Very bad.

“Uh… fuck.” He broke off, floundering. What would keep you awake? What could he possibly say after you’d just made him promise to get rid of your spirit once you were dead, which was not going to happen.

“It’s actually not a bad night,” he started, already kicking himself mentally. “Bit of a breeze. I guess it’s sheltered down there, you’ve got a nice, uh, headstone blocking it. Ground’s not too bad either, not too hard. Glad it’s not gravel, my knees’re killing me.”

A watery laugh clawed its way from you before another sob wracked your body. “Dean, I gotta tell you…”

“Can you see the stars from down there?” he asked, cutting you off. “I bet they’re bright out here. No light pollution.” He grabbed your hand as your fingers loosened their grip, dread settling like a stone in his stomach.

Your eyes wandered away from his face, sweeping over the space behind him. You nodded, but the haziness that had slid over your face didn’t do anything to help Dean’s panic, especially now that you weren’t holding his hand nearly as tightly as you had been.

“Wait,” he said, squeezing your fingers. “Just focus on me, keep looking at me.”

Your eyes swung back to his. “Please,” you whispered. “Please Dean, listen to me”

Sam’s hand settled on his shoulder, large and heavy. He nodded to your face when Dean glanced at him, and to his horror he realised there were specks of blood on your lips.

He swallowed hard. He hadn’t realised, but this was probably one of the worst moments of his life. He’d entirely ignored even the possibility of you being injured, let alone dying – just thinking the word felt wrong – since you’d joined him and Sam, doggedly refusing to acknowledge the near physical ache the idea of your absence caused. Now it was happening, right in front of him. Heat prickled behind his eyes.

He took a deep breath, steadying his voice. “Yeah, alright sweetheart. You tell me, I’m listening.”

Relief washed over your face. “I wanted to say it,” you whispered, “before. I didn’t want it like this.”

“It’s ok. Sh, it’s ok.”

Your body convulsed under his hand with another sob, more blood leaking from the corners of your mouth. “I love you,” you choked. “I love you so much. I don’t wanna get stuck because I never told you.”

Oh. Oh. Dean’s mind went blank, then crashed right back into his skull. It was like swinging on a swing, at the peak of the arc where you floated a little before you started going down again. Yeah, that was his brain in that moment. Of course you’d have the guts to say it when he didn’t, even if it was out of fear of becoming an angry ghost. He cursed the universe and its cruel sense of humour. He faced horrors beyond most people’s imaginations almost every day, but still couldn’t say three simple words when he wanted to more than anything, and now you’d taken the first step for him and it was because you thought you were about to die. Someone up there must have hated his guts.

“I know,” he said finally, nodding. “I know you do. Hold on, ok? There’s an ambulance, it’s gonna get here any minute” It wasn’t what he wanted to tell you, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t make his mouth cooperate.

You smiled, your grip on his hand all but nonexistent now. Your breathing was getting shallower by the second, your eyes unfocussed and no longer trained on his face. It was like now that you’d said your piece, you weren’t even trying to stay awake. He didn’t like to be too dramatic, but he was almost convinced that he was the one who’d been stabbed, not you.

“No,” he whispered. “No, (Y/N), not you. Please, not you.”

A wailing siren sounded in the distance, blue and red lights flashing rapidly brighter as the ambulance drew closer.

“Just a few more minutes,” Sam said, pacing. His eyes never left your face. “Come on, (Y/N), any second now.”

You were perfectly still, too still. Dean leant over, careful to keep applying pressure to your stomach as he listened for breath. The faintest hint of it brushed his cheek, not enough. He blinked hard, holding you against his chest, his face pressed into your hair. It still smelled like the cheap shampoo from the most recent motel, mixed with blood and dirt and sweat. It should have been disgusting, but to Dean it smelled so right. He wondered what that said about his lifestyle choices.

“Please,” he whispered, his voice choked. “(Y/N)...”

Your hand slipped from his, and it was like a damn breaking. He felt his shoulders jerk, something between a sob and a grunt torn from him.

“I love you too,” he whispered, clinging so tightly to you he was half scared he was going to hurt you. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, (Y/N), I love you.”

The siren was deafening as the ambulance skidded to a stop, Sam waving frantically to the paramedics swarming the graveyard. Someone pulled Dean back despite his protests. Cold stung his cheeks, the breeze from earlier having turned into a wind. It vaguely occurred to him that the reason it was so cold on his face was because he was crying.

Everything was a blur as you were engulfed by uniformed paramedics, your limp form lifted onto a stretcher and born away into the vehicle. Someone tried to talk to him before Sam, uncannily put together and coherent, spoke to them and explained. There was a lot of nodding and “thankyou”s, then Dean was being loaded into the Impala like a little kid and Sam was driving like you were in the back seat instead of in the ambulance.

All he was aware of at the hospital was Sam’s hand gripping his arm, muttering that he needed to pull it together “for her, man.” The harsh, clinical lights and the rush that everyone seemed to be in wasn’t helping Dean’s panic, every prone body he glimpsed taking on your face until he blinked and it was a complete stranger. What if the unthinkable really happened? What if you died, and he hadn’t been able to save you, keep you safe like you’d been so sure he would? What if you really did linger as a tormented spirit, what if he and Sam had to hunt you, get rid of you like you’d said? He didn’t know if he’d be able to do that.

Finally, a serious looking man with a clipboard and a badge approached them. “Are you with the young woman–” he glanced at the clipboard, “(Y/N), who just came in?”

“Yes,” Sam said quickly. “Yeah, how is she? Is she alright?”

“She’s damn lucky someone put as much pressure as they did on that cut,” he sighed. “She’s lost a lot of blood, but she’s stable.”

Dean let out a breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide their shaking.

“Thankyou,” Sam smiled. “Thank you, doctor. When can we see her?”

He frowned at the clipboard again, tapping his fingers on the plastic. “Well she’s unconscious, I daresay she will be for a while yet.”

“Please,” Dean interrupted. “I– we just need to see her.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow. “You boys family?”

“Brothers,” Sam lied at the same time as Dean said “husband.”

“I’m her husband,” he went on, ignoring the little flip his stomach did. Somehow, the familiar lie felt different now that he’d told you how he felt, even if you hadn’t heard. “He’s my brother in law.”

“Ok,” he shrugged, “but she won’t… Well, she was stabbed. There’s a lot of tubes, bandages, and she’s out cold. It might be…” He stopped, sighing. “Some people find it confronting, seeing their loved ones like this.”

Dean felt Sam glance at him, but he ignored it. “Trust me,” he said with a tight smile, “I’ve seen worse.”

He had not, as it turned out, seen worse. You were completely still apart from the gentle rise and fall of your chest, a thin cotton blanket pulled up and tucked in with clinical precision around your ribs. You had a little cut on your forehead that Dean hadn’t noticed at the graveyard. A drip trailed from the back of your hand to a cluster of bags suspended above you, a thin plastic tube wrapped around your head just under your nose. Oxygen, he assumed. If he ignored all that, you could have been sleeping.

Sam pushed the door open softly, as if he was afraid he’d wake you up. Dean hesitated a moment, then followed him inside. Up close, he could see the light sheen of sweat on your forehead, the darkness under your eyes, the pallor of your lips and cheeks. He reached out to touch you, maybe lay his hand on your forehead or smooth your hair away from your face, but drew his hand back at the last moment. He didn’t want to somehow unbalance you from whatever tightrope you were walking right now, even though he knew that was illogical. Still, even breathing the same air felt somehow dangerous for you.

“Did she tell you?” he asked Sam eventually.

“That she loves you?” He didn’t give Dean a chance to explain that he hadn’t meant that, that he’d been talking about your fear of not-quite-death. “She never said it outright, but I sort of worked it out, y’know? You guys weren’t really that subtle.”

Dean frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just…” He shrugged, gesturing vaguely between your prone form and Dean. “You’re always looking at her, when you think she can’t see you. She does the same. Always just sorta… doing little things for each other. And you’re always touching her, I don’t know if you realised.”

“Huh. I didn’t.” It was true, although it didn’t really surprise him. He liked the little smile you gave him whenever he picked something up from a store for you – a favourite candy, something you’d mentioned you felt like – and he’d just assumed when you did similar things for him it was because you were, well, you. But now that he thought about it, he couldn’t name half as many times when you’d taken the same care and effort for Sam. Not that you’d neglected his brother, it was just… slightly less personal, less specially catered. He felt a surge of warmth for you, then a pang as his eyes landed again on your too-pale face.

As for touching you, well, he wanted to. All the time. He wanted to put his hand on your shoulder, wrap his arms around your waist, hold you close and feel your heartbeat against his. Every brief half-hug or brush of your skin against his was something precious to him, so of course he’d want more. His mind flashed back to the tightness of your hand in his at the graveyard, the warm slick of your blood as you’d clung to him. Even that had been almost euphoric, past the raw terror and sickening dread. He was going to hold you like that again – under better circumstances – if it killed him.

“Yeah,” Sam went on. “She’s the same, actually.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I remember this one time, Illinois, I think. We got a motel room with the longest couch you've ever seen. You sat down in the corner, and she comes and sits right next to you! When she’s got, like, another two metres of space to choose from.”

Dean did remember that, actually. He remembered the rush he’d gotten as you’d squished up against his side, complaining that you were cold even though your skin had been warm to the touch. He still thought about it, sometimes. “Huh,” he said again.

“Yeah.” It was silent apart from the beeping of your monitor and the normal hospital sounds outside the room, then Sam turned and faced him. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Dean shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have let her put herself out there like that in the first place.”

“No, I was supposed to have her back. I shouldn’t have taken so long with the salt.”

He wasn’t wrong, Dean knew that, but it had been him who’d agreed to your plan. You’d put your faith in him just as much as you had in Sam, and he’d let you down. He hadn’t liked the whole thing from the start, but still he’d gone ahead with it. And now here you were, lying unconscious in a hospital bed, and Sam was beating himself up about it. It was all so wrong, and Dean could have stopped it so easily. But as he looked at you, he swore he could hear you snorting derisively at him, crossing your arms with a firm “bullshit!”

“It’s my choice,” you’d say. “You’re really gonna try to steal my credit?”

“She’d call bullshit on you, you know,” he said.

His brother shrugged, nodding. “Yeah, you too probably. She’d poke you, right here.” He reached around and stuck his finger firmly in the middle of Dean’s chest, right where you’d done countless times.

Despite himself, Dean smiled. Then your drip beeped and he was jerked painfully back to the present, and the problem at hand.

“Did you know she was so scared?” he asked. “Of, y’know…” Dying. Haunting someone. Getting stuck here, not being able to move on.

Sam didn’t answer for a moment, then he sighed, still looking at you. “She mentioned it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Why didn’t she tell me?

“She didn’t want me to. She thought you’d think… I don’t know, that she wouldn’t be able to do the job. She really didn’t want you to know she was scared, she was so worried about what you thought of her. She said you were…” He swallowed, cleared his throat, continued. “She said you were never scared, and she didn’t want you to think she was. Even when I told her we were all terrified.”

“Damn right,” Dean muttered. You’d done a great job at putting on such a brave front, he’d sometimes wondered if there was actually something wrong with you. Or maybe not wrong, but different. He’d never known anyone who could handle the things they did so well, not even his dad. It was something of a relief to know that there was more to it.

“She was convinced she’d be the type of person to get stuck,” he continued. “Kept saying she wouldn’t be able to move on, that she had too much that she was holding onto and she didn’t know how to let go.” He finally raised his head, looking at Dean with what he thought was pity. Any other time, that would have annoyed him.

“That’s why she said it,” he muttered, the uncomfortable lump back in his throat. When you woke up, he was going to give you a serious talk about timing.

Sam nodded.

“And she didn’t–” His voice broke, and he turned away. He wanted to punch something, put his fist through the wall or slam his hand down on the table, but he was too scared it would somehow disturb you. “I didn’t say it back.”

“Woah, hey.” Sam’s hand was firm on his shoulder, steadying him. “You did, man. You did.”

“I was too late! She was out!”

“Yeah, and you can tell her again when she wakes up.”

“What if–”

“No.” Sam shook his head firmly, fingers digging into Dean’s shoulder, anchoring him to the spot. “She’s waking up, and when she does you’re gonna ask her out on a proper date, she’s gonna say yes, and you’re gonna sort yourselves out like adults. Ok?”

Dean looked away. The prospect of asking you out suddenly felt enormous. Of course he’d taken girls on dates before, he knew what he was doing, but that had been more along the lines of “I think you’re cute and you’re clearly into me, let’s get dinner and then we can hook up.” He’d never faced “I’ve been pining over you for months and I was too scared to do anything about it but you almost died and told me you loved me – love, not like – and I have no idea where this is gonna go but Sam’s right and asking you out is probably the best next step even if it’s absolutely terrifying”. He was a total mess, and he knew it.

“Ok?” Sam asked again, insistent.

“Ok,” he agreed. “Ok.”

“Good.”

You didn’t wake up until a day later. Well, that was according to the time and date displayed on the clock opposite your bed. Dean didn’t really have any recollection of time actually passing.

He was slumped in the chair beside your bed, your hand held gently in his own as he dozed. He hadn’t let himself fully sleep since you’d been brought in, too afraid that something would happen while he was out, despite all Sam’s urging. Eventually he’d just sent his brother back to the motel, assuring him that he’d be fine on his own and that he wanted to be there for you when you came around.

He jerked out of his half-nap when your fingers twitched, cursing when his pain stabbed through his neck. Snoozing in hospital chairs was never a good idea.

“Fuck,” you groaned, frowning at the ceiling.

Dean cleared his throat, his mouth suddenly dry. “(Y/N)?”

You turned, your face clearing when you saw him. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart skip a beat. “Dean,” you whispered. “What’re you doing here?”

He shrugged, making to withdraw his hand, but your grip tightened. “I’m the ‘welcome back’ committee.”

“Oh.” You nodded, smiling softly. You ran your free hand over the bandage circling your waist, studying the IV embedded in your skin. “We got him, didn’t we?” you asked.

Right, the ghost. “Uh, yeah, he’s gone. Your plan worked,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

“It was a pretty good plan,” you grinned.

He shook his head. “It almost got you killed.”

“But it worked,” you insisted, your eyes shining. “He’s gone, Dean. Who knows how many people we saved?”

“And what about you, huh?”

You shrugged. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

He took a deep breath, bending his head so you wouldn’t see the moisture he was sure he could feel gathering in his eyes. How were you so casual about it? It had been your life on the line, you who’d gotten stabbed, who’d been bleeding out, terrified of not dying properly and becoming a ghost yourself.

“Hey,” you said gently, your hand slipping from his, sliding up over his arm to rest hesitantly on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“You almost died, (Y/N). Sam told me, what you said about getting stuck, being unable to move on.”

You were silent for a moment, then you sighed. “Well it’s just awkward now that I’m still here.”

Despite himself, Dean laughed. He raised his head, placing his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb in a circle over it. Your skin was warm as ever, dry to the touch. It was such a contrast from the graveyard, one he was glad of. You smiled, some of the colour already returning to your face.

“I’ve always got your back,” he said, “no matter what. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I wanted to, I really wanted to. But I just… I don’t know, I just couldn’t. Every time I tried it was like this brick wall went up in my brain.” You shrugged, drawing your hand back as you shifted to sit more upright. Dean missed its warmth instantly. “You’re always so… unfazed, you know? It felt kinda stupid.”

He snorted. Sure, Sam had already told him what you’d said, but it was different coming from you.

You folded your arms, as if you’d just won an argument. “See?”

“Shit, (Y/N),” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not – what’d you say? – unfazed. This shit gets to me too, I just…” He thought, unsure how to phrase it. “I didn’t wanna scare you,” he finally settled for. “Didn’t want you to worry.”

“Oh.” You picked at a loose thread in the blanket, biting your lip. “And the other thing?”

“Yeah, the other thing.” He’d known this was coming, he’d tried to find the words as he’d sat beside you, waiting for you to wake up. He’d almost had it, he told himself. How hard could it be, after all?

“I didn’t wanna die with, like, unfinished business. That’s the main reason people stick around. It felt like if I didn’t get it out there, I wouldn’t ever be able to… keep going. Move on.” You swallowed, not meeting his eyes. “It’s ok,” you went on, “if you don’t, y’know, feel the same. I’d understand.”

So you hadn’t heard him. Dean wasn’t surprised, but some part of him had been clinging to the hope that somehow his words had gotten through to you even as you were bundled into the back of the ambulance.

He shook his head. “I just wish you’d said something before.”

You looked up, hope chasing confusion across your face. “What?”

“I wish you’d said something before,” he repeated. “It would’ve saved us both a lotta trouble.”

“I don’t…” You frowned. “What’re you…?”

He shrugged, his heart beating a million mph. “I love you too,” he said simply.

You blinked, opening your mouth to say something, closing it again. Slowly, a smile crept across your features. “Alright,” you grinned, way too smug for Dean’s liking. “Alright then.”

“Don’t push it,” he warned, but the threat was empty and you both knew it.

You shifted again, leaning towards him. “Come here,” you said softly.

He stood, ignoring the ache in his back from the bloody uncomfortable chair.

Impatiently, you beckoned him closer.

He raised an eyebrow, brushing a stray piece of hair from your face. “Do I get to kiss you?”

“That’s the goal, yeah.” You rolled your eyes, tilting your face against his hand. Dean wasn’t fond of the whole “butterflies in your stomach” thing, but he had no idea how else to describe the feeling that tiny gesture conjured. It really was like someone had released a swarm of the things inside him, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

You were watching him expectantly, almost like you were challenging him. “Go on,” your eyes seemed to be saying, “try it.”

He did. Your lips were softer than he’d expected, and just as warm as your hands. You made a sound somewhere in the realm of a sigh as his hand slid down to rest on your shoulder, pushing gently towards him, your own fingers running over his jaw to brush along the back of his neck. He couldn’t believe he’d waited this long to kiss you, and now that he’d finally taken the plunge, he never wanted to stop.

But he had to breathe, unfortunately, and so did you.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” you whispered. You were still close enough that he could feel the words against his skin.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he replied.

You laughed, a soft, breathy sound, and closed the tiny gap once more. “I love you,” you murmured between kisses, “and I’m sorry it took me almost dying to say it.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that too.”

The door handle clicked, the hinges squealing. “Ok, so I ran into the doctor on the way in— woah.”

Dean stood up so fast he almost overbalanced.

Sam was standing in the doorway with a disposable coffee cup in each hand, his mouth hanging open as he stared from you to Dean and back again.

You cleared your throat. “Hi, Sam.”

He shut his mouth, shoving the cups into Dean’s hands as he crossed the room and bent to hug you with a muttered “thank God.”

“Watch it,” you warned, “I’m injured.” But your arms snaked around his back anyway, your voice muffled as you pressed your face into his neck.

“You’re never allowed to scare us like that again,” Sam said firmly.

Your eyes found Dean’s over Sam’s shoulder, and you smiled. “I’m not really planning on it, don’t worry.”

Sam just laughed. “How’re you feeling?” he asked when he finally let you go.

“Ok,” you nodded, then frowned. “Hungry.”

Sam glanced at Dean, who shrugged. He’d gotten bored some time in the morning, and the packet of pudding that had been left on your bedside table along with a bottle of water had been practically begging to be tasted. He’d wondered if you’d wake up before they brought a replacement, he’d even felt a little bad eating your food, but he was hungry, dammit, and when Sam had left he’d said he would come back “later” which meant “tonight”. And that was too long for Dean to wait. He also didn’t have any money on him, and wouldn’t have left your side for the cafeteria when the pudding was right there.

“What?” you asked.

“He ate the pudding they left you,” Sam said. Dean never should have mentioned it, but he’d been desperate to get Sam to bring him something and it had felt convincing over the phone.

Dean glared at his brother and the coffees – which were very noticeably not the fast food he’d had in mind. “You try living in that chair for a day, see how long you can go without.” Then he turned to you. “You didn’t miss much, don’t worry.”

“Well, I’m hungry!” you protested, crossing your arms and looking for all the world like a petulant toddler.

Sam’s words about asking you out echoed in his mind.

“I’ll buy you dinner,” he said. “At an actual restaurant, not a fast food place. As soon as they let you outta here, alright? In the meantime…” He reached for the bottle of water, handing it to you with an apologetic shrug. It was better than nothing.

You wrinkled your nose at him. “This is a pretty shit first date.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” he said. Then, on second thoughts, “It’s not a first date, Sam’s here.”

“Geez,” Sam muttered, “sorry. And after I got you a coffee too.”

“Did you get me one?” you asked hopefully.

“No,” he said slowly. “But you can have mine if you want?”

You sighed. “I don’t like it how you do. But thanks,” you added with a smile.

“Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you to be awake.”

“Have a little faith, Sam.”

He smiled, glancing between you and Dean.

“You owe me a coffee, and you owe me a dinner,” you continued before he could say anything. Dean thanked you silently. He didn’t really want a shovel talk from his own brother right now, which he could see Sam was just dying to dish out. He wondered if you’d be getting one. Probably, but he had no doubts that it would be less “shovel” more “talk”.

“Soon as you’re fixed up,” he said. “I promise.”

“And it’ll be a date?”

“Sweetheart, it’ll be the best first date you’ve ever been on. Trust me.”

You just grinned, ignoring Sam’s fake-disgusted sigh. “Ok.”

207 notes · View notes

snakebites-and-ink · 9 months

Text

Hi! I’m @snakebites-and-ink.

I’m not gonna put any part of my real name on here, so you can call me by my username or call me Snake for short I guess. (Though I feel kind of weird giving myself my own nickname bc I feel like nicknames are usually assigned by other people. Is that weird? Anyways) My pronouns are he/him. I’m aroace. A couple of fun facts about me are that I love dragons, and that even though I reblog more cat posts I am a dog owner.

I’ve been lurking around the whump community for several months now, so I decided it was time to un-lurk, and hopefully work up to posting some of my own writing (...if I can stick to any of my WIPs long enough to actually make a somewhat coherent story 😓). So, I made one of those intro posts!

A few of my favorite tropes to read:

CONDITIONING MY BELOVED <3

Caretaker whumping the whumper 🙃

- You know what actually whumper-turned-whumpee in general

Carewhumpers (yes pleasssse)

- In a similar vein, the "new whumper is nicer than the former whumper" trope

Pet whump in general tbh

My Big squicks:

Anything sexually explicit

Most whump of a minor

My milder squicks:

Hand gore

Non-medically-necessary tooth pulling

Non-medically-necessary amputation

Most kinds of extreme animalization

Some kinds of eye gore

Stuff I want to write eventually:

BBU

Other pet whump

(modern-ish) fantasy whump

Other speculative fiction whump

Also, a note about social interactions: I have social anxiety and I can be socially awkward sometimes. Because of this, talking to people, even over the internet, can be hard, and I tend to overthink things and worry about it a lot. So please be patient with me and if I take a long time to respond to something, or if I say something kind of off or weird or awkward, please know that I’m not upset and that I mean no offense or anything, it’s just Social Situations Being Difficult.

That being said, I do want interaction! I just figured I should warn that I’ll likely be less graceful at it than the average person. I would love to have people in my askbox and be tagged in things and to acquire some mutuals. (Seriously I want to make some internet friends.) Come on in and engage with my blog, I don’t bite! (...in spite of the name lol)

Thanks for reading this post even though it got kinda long! Hope to see you around, and have a lovely day/night! 😊

PS I should specify my squicks are not the same as a dni. It just means I probably won’t read those particular posts.

#whumpblr intro #whump intro #whump community #whumpblr #intro post #blog intro #introduction #writeblr #writers on tumblr #whump #hello world #hello tumblr #whump blog #whump introduction #my posts

60 notes · View notes

suffarustuffaru · 1 month

Note

If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

#ask #suffaru post #people including english professors have told me theyre impressed with my writing but truth is ive just been writing a shit ton of anime #fanfic for the last three or so years LMFAO

16 notes · View notes

shockwavve · 7 months

Note

Inspired by your recent tags…

How do you prefer to see Shockwave written, and why?

(I’m especially curious about IDW and TFP.)

Sorry I've had like 3 asks sitting in my askbox for forever now bc school has been kicking my ass 😭😭 but that post came up on my dash again and reminded me to answer this--

BUT UHHHH, so tbh I very strongly see Shockwave as either aroace or demiromantic & demisexual... like. Pretty much all iterations of him, ESPECIALLY IDW and TFP. TF:A is pretty much the only exception to this in which I could see him being closer to just allo... but still somewhere on the demi spectrum... and a loooot of ways I see him written in fanfic makes him very uhh... hmm how do I explain... doting?? Or very Affectionate or... well, all the things people like in a fluff fic.

And yanno that's fine, maybe that's some people's cup of tea but it's not mine. To me, Shocks is very very stoic and dry, even in relationships. I don't even like seeing him in the "stoic person who is soft with their s/o" trope because I just don't think Shockwave is a soft person, in any meaning of the word.

I could see him maybe, like... being slightly less stoic and more introspective and TALKATIVE with someone he likes... and LESS RUDE skdndks and more willing to spend time with them and LISTEN. That's how I prefer to see him written. Someone who is still very quiet and introverted and keeps to himself, even around the people he loves. Like, you know, sometimes he'll have days where he just... needs to be alone and needs you to leave him alone and if you want to be his partner you gotta be okay with that. But he'll also give you more time, speak softer, ramble about the things he's working on, have MORE PATIENCE with you, and... I think he would be more touchy in a very gentle way, like he's studying you.

But outside of that, any kind of gushy or lovey shockwave that says anything even somewhat adjacent to affectionate that isn't something ridiculously stiff like "I find you less miserable to be in company with" just rubs me the wrong way and gives me ick. I think the most affectionate thing I could see him saying is in whump. Like, a moment of desperation that could make him say "I need you", but I think "I love you" is not something he's ever going to be comfortable saying - he shows it, not says it.

TF:A Shockwave is the only one I can make an exception for but it's just because that boy is fucked up. TFA Shockwave is not capable of a healthy relationship SKDSJJDBSKSNS. He's either going to be controlling and possessive in a snakeish and insidious kind of way, or absolute unquestioning devotion. I just don't think TF:A shockwave is... like... as a PERSON capable of being in a healthy relationship unless he went to fucking therapy or had some kind of redemption arc in which case I would place him back in demi territory that is similar to the other descriptions I was talking about earlier.

Writing in GENERAL, without shipping involved? IDW shockwave is fucking insane. He is so so manipulative. He has a million equations and plans going on in his head at all times and he can and will save everyone for better or for worse - and he doesn't care what it takes to get there. That man isn't capable of any emotion except for pursuance of a goal, and maybe anger. Or, if he does feel emotion, it's very very dull and diluted. If he had it restored I think it would destroy him. I read a fic once where Rung accidentally restored his emotions and that one is very very good, I like that shockwave quite a bit.

TF:P Shockwave I think experiences emotions very much, but has a tendency to hide them because he's a very internal person. I don't think he will ever verbally express it, though, unless you REALLY piss him off. For the most part he's very stoic and blunt, and doesn't sugarcoat things... so he will be rude sometimes, but won't go out of his way to be. Some people write him way too cruel and it also rubs me the wrong way... but I also don't like seeing him written too nice either. He's doing his own thing and could really care less about what's going on around him, except for maybe Soundwave who I think he could work well with because of the matching intellect, and Megatron who I think he honestly just works with for the reliable material and the praise (and to piss off Starscream, who annoys him.) I think he can be petty, but doesn't go out of his way to be. I think he values his experiments very much, though, and sabotaging him is a surefire way to get him to try and kill you.

Basically, overall: unless we're talking about TFA Shockwave (who is goofy and cruel), I like a shockwave who is aloof, dry, passionate about what he does to a fault, doesn't talk a lot, respects those of similar intellect, does what he does either for knowledge or to pursue some "greater good", and isn't needlessly cruel. He can show some emotion but not too much, and expresses himself mostly through body language and actions, not words.

#shockwave #sorry this took forever and is just me rambling--

37 notes · View notes

knowcelsius · 3 months

Text

So you clicked on my blog...

Hi! I write fanfiction (I’m gnothi_seauton), reblog things I like, draw occasionally (and badly), and ramble on and on and on and on and on…

Right now I am writing a ton of Astarion-centric whump. Sounds interesting? Come check out my AO3! I also write male Tav, so if that also appeals to you, come take a look.

Here’s a list of my fics from newest to oldest (all on AO3):

A Poor Judgment Call. 7k words, Astarion & Tav & Gale & Shadowheart. "Starving Astarion drinks tainted blood and falls ill."

Stinging Tongues of Fire. 🚫, Astarion/Gale. “Before either of them can make their first move, Astarion finds himself in the path of Gale's fireball.”

Vain Offerings. 13k words, Astarion & Cazador. “Astarion collapses during Cazador’s banquet, one man is determined to save him.”

Separated, Washed Away. 36k words, Wyll/Astarion. “Astarion is separated from the group and tortured at the hands of two strangers.”

The Cold Embrace of Stone. 18k words, Astarion & Tav, hints of Wyllstarion. “Infamous” for my asshole Tav:) “Starved and exhausted, Astarion falls into a trap. The rest of the party will not abandon him.”

Ringing Hollow. 8k words, Astarion & Tav. “Astarion is poisoned during an ambush, abandons Tav, and escapes.”

Cordyceps Pains Its Host. 20k words, Astarion & Gale, Astarion & Tav. “A mushroom begins to grow inside Astarion. Extracting it is the only way to survive.”

Trapped, and Lost, and Found. 8k words, Astarion & Wyll. “Astarion steps into a bear trap. Wyll is there to save him.”

A Jagged Edge. 13k words, Astarion & Everyone tbh. “Astarion gets hurt. Everyone else takes care of him.”

What is my writing style like?

Here's a scene I love from The Cold Embrace of Stone:

I am always open to your ideas! Some of my readers' suggestions have already inspired me to write more stories:)

On that note, what can I write?

In general – I’m a one-stop-shop for all things whump and angst! I don’t shy away from writing about graphic injuries, torture, illnesses, violence, body horror, mental anguish, verbal, physical, and psychological abuse, toxic relationships, medical themes, caretaking, healing, somewhat realistic wound care, gentle comfort:), misunderstandings, romance, slash, cringe flirting, Gale’s dialogue lines, arguments and fights, infidelity, non-graphic and graphic sex, pregnancy, death, religion, self-worth, consent, and body image issues, and so on…

While what I have listed here is mostly horrible stuff (like cringe flirting;), I can also write about subjects far removed from torment and anguish. That being said, I usually write my fics with a happy or hopeful ending:)

I also like to keep my work spoiler-free if possible. This might change in the future though, when I exhaust all my spoiler-free ideas.

What won’t I write?

Incest, underage characters in sexual situations, CNC or rape exclusively as a kink, and some other things that give me the ick but I can’t think of at the moment.

About me

Here I go by Kriss. They/them, in my 20s, Lithuanian. I like to write and talk about my interests. I desire arrogant blondes carnally. And, since you're nosy enough to read this far, I'm aromantic (that doesn't mean I don't write romance, but if I'm good at it or not, you can decide for yourself:)

Now, have fun witnessing my slow descent into madness! (Whump is not that great for the brain, apparently. But, heck, it is fun!)

#my bio #bg3 fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion whump #astarion #astarion ancunin #my bg3 fic masterlist #bg3 brainrot

17 notes · View notes

crowdemoninkinkyboots · 3 months

Note

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "crowdemoninkinkyboots "?

before i give my fav fics, my username is in reference to sebastian because he’s a crow demon with kinky boots uvu

okay these are in no particular order but here’s my top 10 fics:

Shapeshifter by Honeythief

black butler, sebaciel

y’all this fic broke me. whoever suggested it owes me emotional compensation. but it also hurt so good. it’s in first person which may turn off some people but i promise it’s worth the read

Sanglier by vanroku

twisted wonderland, rookpel with a hint of jackpel

it’s painfully hard finding dead dove/whump content with my fav pomefiore boys, but this is absolutely perfect

Timeless Eternity by GammaRays

demon slayer, kibutan

y’all this fic is dark. but it’s so good. it kinda sparked my thing for captor/captive tropes, and tbh it’s probably my fav kny fic

actually i lied the next two are fics i commissioned i still absolutely adore (they’re also omegaverse lmao)

Knock Knock Little Bunny by mattysones

demon slayer, kibutan

i was so excited for this fic and it was worth the wait. omegaverse + whump is such a tasty combination for me and matty wrote it perfectly. best money i’ve spent.

Torridity by mcpoggy

demon slayer, kanaoi

mcpoggy is usually a giyutan writer and i’m probably going to add one of her other fics here but i absolutely adored how this fic came out. it’s so vanilla compared to the other fics listed but i love it. i need more omegaverse yuri in my life

When I Kissed The Teacher by mcpoggy

demon slayer, giyutan

this is like THE giyutan fic, and also my first bookmark on ao3. it’s also vanilla compared to most other fics on this list but giyutan does have an age gap. it’s super long but i’d alway recommend mcpoggy’s giyutan fics uvu

heads rolling for the one i adore by nyabatos

genshin impact, zhongven

ok i’m INCREDIBLY biased because the author is my best friend but she’s such an incredible writer. it’s also such an interesting au where venti sacrifices his freedom to zhongli to save mondstadt and the aftermath of that deal

The Fall of Mondstadt series by Probabri

genshin impact, kaeluc

whoops my bias is showing again bc i’m also friends with the author but this story awakened kinks in me i didn’t know i had oops

Spear Fishing by reallybadcontent

genshin impact, beidou/fem!reader

ahem. so. i’m not typically into reader pov fics but beidou is. beidou. and i’m a weak lesbian. and ngl i also imagined my oc instead. so. next fic

Dream A Little Dream of Me by BadBadz

black butler, sebaciel

ok i’m being biased again, since this was based off of a tumblr post i made, but i was so happy it inspired someone and it turned out great. of course my fav sebaciel fics have angst in them…it’s like i like hurting myself…

pls lmk if y’all have ever read any of these fics/ur thoughts! i’m sure u all noticed a trend lol

#ask #fanfiction #sebaciel #kibutan #dead dove #omegaverse #rookpel #giyutan #not tagging vanilla ships soz

14 notes · View notes

brainrotlesbian · 6 months

Note

Another used as bait lover!!! *high fives* That whump trope is my favorite of all time, and I'm super happy to see more people who love it!

What is the best part of that trope? For me, personally, is the guilt the whumpee feels. Their rescuer(s) are walking right into a trap, and they feel it was all their fault that it was happening... and of course, if the whumpee is gagged and couldn't warn their rescuer(s) of the trap, and the rescuer(s) either didn't get the message or they DO know, they just opted to save whumpee anyway, because leaving them behind? NOPE, not happening!

Sorry that this is long and rambly, I'm so excited to see another fan of that trope 😆 Hope to see more stuff from you! 👀

-- @whumperofworlds

The guilt is a 10/10 aspect of this trope, it’s great. I like the “you told me not to come get you yet I’m here to get you anyway,” it shows devotion on rescuer’s part, and I love that. I love to see close relationships between a whumpee and their potential rescuer, maybe some banter if the situation calls for it, but overall the commitment to one another is a great part of it, and can so easily be used against the both of them

I can’t say I have a specific “favorite” part of it but I’m a huge fan of the realization it’s a trap from either a rescuer or whumpee *chef’s kiss* beautiful. Especially if it’s an attempt on one’s life, where whumpee has to sit back and watch, and is helpless to do anything about it. The screaming/begging for their life, from either person; the way it shows that whumper isn’t messing around. (I’d say Tangled is a great example of that, a formative moment tbh).

I think another good part of this trope could be a potential ransom video. Love those, where it shows whumpee at a pretty low point and beaten down. Maybe they cry for help, maybe they try to warn whomever’s watching to not come for them, it’s great either way. Especially when it evokes a strong reaction from the people watching from the other side. The anger, the rage from a passionate friend/partner of whumpee is great; it can also be used against them if they’re too focused on the rescue to notice something’s off. I have many thoughts about this trope I love it.

#whump tropes #whump #whump prompt #whump thoughts #used as bait

25 notes · View notes

septemberrie · 10 months

Text

Battle Lines: DVD Commentary

I am proud of myself for writing 140k, I’ve never done it before! I thought some people might be interested in scenes left on the cutting room floor and other thoughts I had while writing. Spoiler alert: A lot of this is praise to @gossipqueen2000 my beta and @faytalepsy for her cheerleading and artistic vision. Also spoiler alert: contains spoilers, including for the epilogue if you haven’t read that yet.

Chapter 1

I’ve mentioned this in comments but the idea of Eraklyans being at odds with Solarians came from Alliance by @somenamewithepineapple, great enemies to lovers Silrah fic! But I wanted this to be a story of a royal and her bodyguard so I changed Farah to queen of Domino, which would also allow Bloom to be incorporated into the story and have a similar enemies-to-lovers arc between Skloom (admittedly entirely offscreen).

The idea of Alfea as an extreme pseudo-military boarding school is an amalgamation of many concepts, namely taking the black/the Wall in Game of Thrones, the various mendicant orders of the catholic church, and of course reading far too many romance novels of sexy soldier/secret agent heroes in high school.

Chapter 2

From the beginning I knew I wanted Farah to have her bedroom charmed so no one can view her decorations other than a couple inoffensive trinkets. I assume as a queen you have very little privacy, even in your bedroom you’ll probably have cleaners coming in, etc. So I wanted to show that she takes great pains to protect the most private parts of herself even in her own home.

Coming up with the council members was quite fun, tbh. I love making up fun names, and borrowing from the OG cartoon too. Although I promptly forgot how to spell “Gehrheart” and had to look it up every time I referenced him thereafter. 0/10 experience, would not recommend.

The discarded scene from this chapter is a squirrel setting off a sensor in Farah’s bedroom in the middle of the night and Saul charging in in a frenzy. I changed it to the locked door scene which fit better tonally. Plus then I thought to add the “Personally I think you’ve spent too much time in [my bedroom] already” line which was funny if I do say so myself.

A theme that never fails to be funny to me as I wrote this, is that Saul isn’t actually a very good bodyguard 😅 Accidentally locking himself in Farah’s bedroom is Exhibit A.

Chapter 3

Having Bloom and Saul be somewhat allies in opposition to Farah was really fun to write! On the surface it’s fun because they both have objections to how Farah handles certain things, but on a deeper level I wanted Saul to crave and tangentially have that pseudo-father/child relationship that he’s been missing pretty much since Sky was born but definitely since his exile.

What made this story so fun to write was the repeated pattern of a) they find some common ground that increases their respect for the other and then b) they find out something new that pisses them off and then c) repeat. Obviously item “a” always has to be stronger than item “b:” they always have to come back to the conclusion that the other is a better person than their first impression. But it was super fun to think of new obstacles to throw at them.

The idea for public audiences comes from The Emperor’s New Groove. 😌 I am the sum of all the art I’ve ever experienced.

Before I wrote too far into this, Mo and I were brainstorming bodyguard story tropes and of course I have her to thank for the “walking in on him shirtless working out” scene. Thank you kindly, Mo, your services are appreciated.

Chapter 4

This chapter was action-heavy so it took a while to write but I think it might be my favorite! You’ve got angst, you’ve got rising stakes, you’ve got protective Saul Silva, you’ve got whump, you’ve got hurt and some extremely stilted comfort, you’ve got the record-scratch cliffhanger that I love writing lol.

The initial draft of this scene had the assassins try to stab Farah as she was walking through the hospital, and they’d say “Andreas sends his regards” to Saul on their way in/out, thus implicating Saul directly. I couldn’t figure out how to make that work and then got the idea to make the assassins patient plants and have the implication come earlier, from Valtor. I’m kind of amazed how well everything fell into place.

Chapter 5

This didn’t occur to me until I was writing the epilogue, but in my head Domino culture is Celtic-inspired (since Fate was filmed in Ireland) but Eraklyon is very Greco-Roman-inspired. The Crypteia (Krypteia/Krupteia) is historically based; there are references to a year-long military service obligated for an elite caste of young warriors in ancient Sparta. Obviously it’s debated how reliably the known historical sources (Plutarch, Plato) convey the details, but I was searching for a militaristic ritual that would have high enough stakes to cause the fallout between Saul and Andreas over Sky’s safety. The Crypteia in my story is just one event, not a year.

I wrote and rewrote Saul’s “monologue” so many times because it was hard to strike the balance between capable but unlucky warrior and poor little meow meow. I think it worked, fingers crossed you agree.

In drafts, when Saul reveals he’s Sky’s biological father, I had Farah toy with the notion of using that information against Andreas, but Saul panics that it’s going to endanger Sky. I ended up deciding this was too calculating for Farah and would be writing myself into a corner. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Side note but I really enjoyed the emotional whump of Farah in the aftermath of the assassination. She’s falling apart but she’s not allowed to fall apart and she doesn’t want this stranger to be responsible for holding her together but also she can’t help it and also and also and also.

I was going to have Saul resign in this chapter to keep Farah safe, rather than later on. Then I decided to extend it because a) I was having too much fun writing this story and b) I rationalized that Saul would take this as an opportunity to lean harder into protecting Farah rather than admitting he’s not the best man for the job. It’s more fun to write about flawed people than perfect people!

Obviously I had to do the “only one bed” trope. Also I’m very proud of the “Don’t be stupid”/”But I am stupid, as you tell me five times a day” exchange.

“How shall I address you?” / “Dowling, in private. Farah, if you are bold enough.” was inspired by the horribly saccharine American ending of Pride & Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright.

The vow of celibacy came to me right away during the brainstorming phase. I went to Catholic school for high school and you do meet the occasional hot priest and well…you’ve seen Fleabag, you can do the math.

Chapter 6

The first draft of the first time they wake up together, since it’s from Saul’s point of view, I wrote Farah as the one to wake up Saul, and Saul—being a warrior—does not take kindly to being roused so he switches instantly from sleep to “action hero” and grabs her throat. At which point Farah also immediately overreacts to Saul’s overreaction and she uses magic to blast him across the room. And from the floor Saul slowly stirs and says “...I’m awake now.” I decided that tonally it wouldn’t fit from the discomfort of the previous night so I just started the chapter in the car.

The dream is inspired by one of my own, in which Louis Tomlinson from One Direction sabotaged my audition to play the part of “the pear” in ??? I don’t remember which musical but not one involving pears. Also, I can’t sing, so Louis was actually doing me a huge favor.

I had a hard time coming up with how to show the passage of time while still escalating the background conflict. Everything up to this point has been over the span of a few days, so I struggled with changing the scale to weeks instead. At one point Valtor showed up back in Domino and Saul disarms him; I cut that after beta help.

Yeah… I changed Bloom’s age a couple times in the writing of this fic. I meant to have Bloom be 18 and Sky a couple years older, but apparently math is hard.

Chapter 7

Reading back on this, Farah is a bit sassy to start this chapter; I specifically remember it was because Jackie had just released a new chapter of Alliance ft extremely sarcastic Farah.

Telluride was always meant to be a placeholder name until I came up with something original; it’s the name of a ski town in western Colorado, the state I moved to during the writing of this story. It’s such a pretty name, I decided to keep it.

Of course I snuck in a reference to Martin Evershed. Love that no one commented on it 😅

This is the chapter where Farah handwrites condolence letters to victims’ families. While writing, I estimated at what point her hand would start cramping and guessed thirty. Well since this chapter, I had to write 60+ thank you notes for my wedding and it’s safe to say that was a dramatic overestimate lol. My hand starts cramping after 5.

When I was agonizing over how exactly to end this story, I can’t believe the climax was staring me in the face, in this chapter. Farah literally says the line “So gutting Andreas is only a secondary purpose of carrying a dagger?” The explosion that went off in my head when I reread that part. But I’m choosing to take it as: alright well I guess I’m falling my way upwards into being a better writer, that I lay all the groundwork for my future self so well.

Chapter 8

I struggled with the kidnapping scene and wrote and rewrote it many times. I originally wanted all four of them to be together in the same room, but as I was writing Bloom and Farah kept interrupting, kept essentially making fun of Sky for being so deluded by propaganda. So I cut them out so it was just father & son for maximal angst. It was hard to thread the needle of Saul being devastated at Sky’s decisions but also a soldier enough to take him to task for it (while being heavily whumped bc I’m me).

In the original outline I had Sky take a more active role in dissuading the war via campaigning/pleading with Andreas, rather than subverting from the shadows. Ultimately I decided Andreas was beyond reasoning so that’s why Sky and Bloom took the route they did.

The cut scene from this chapter is Saul using a sexy motorcycle instead of a jeep, Farah riding “bitch” so she can hold him tight from behind. Lots of accidental touching. Decided this was not the time and place

Saul says that Sky is nineteen here lmfao. Apparently 14 at the Crypteia + 8 years of Saul’s exile = 19 years old, to renowned author and not mathematician Skye.

Speaking of, it was SO FUN to write Saul as extremely capable at everything except being a normal human man trying to function in society 😅 A drink? What is that? Stand next to hot person?? Must find way to exit; only does so after causing as much psychic damage as humanly possible.

Chapter 9

The masquerade ball was also a plot point that I knew would happen from very early on (Farah and Saul in sexy formalwear? Of course), but it was Mo’s idea to make the ball a cover for some secret diplomacy. Having a beta insanely elevated this story!

After I finished Chapter 1 and realized this was going to be a multichapter story, the dance, mask, and kiss scene was the very next thing I wrote. I am pretty proud of myself for coming up with the mask being the way Saul allows himself to “slip” and step out of himself for long enough to up the slow burn with a kiss.

Chapter 10

Writing Ben and Saul as being somewhat at odds was also very enjoyable. They’re both very protective of Farah, but Ben thinks Saul is a pushy upstart and Saul thinks Ben is a stuffy fuddyduddy. I love writing reluctant allies.

I was very deliberate that in the narration, Saul never thinks of Farah using her first name until they consummate their relationship in the hotel room. Even after the kiss at the ball he calls her “the queen” in his head except in rare circumstances when he’s considering both of them in the third person. Same with Farah; she addresses him as “Silva” in her head until they give themselves to each other in Anolide and he becomes Saul.

Chapters 11 & 12

I have Mo to thank for the introduction of Burnett; what a *chef’s kiss* to include the optimal mirror for Saul and his “failings.”

The name “Degenhard” as Saul’s pseudonym when he checks into the hotel was a result of a hilarious conversation in the WinxSource server. Apparently “degen” is German for “sword” soooo I thought it extremely fitting for what happens in the story that night. Winkyface. Sword hard. Originally the surname was “Petrino,” I think it was published that way for a couple days before I retconned it.

I really hope the final argument before the consummation was clear from both sides. Mo was supremely helpful molding it out of the clay I provided. I struggled a lot; is it ever worth it to give up your “self” for another person? When does “staying true to yourself” veer into stubbornness and aversion to healthy change? What do we owe to our former selves? I hope I answered it well.

Chapter 13

In the first draft of this chapter, Saul was on surveillance rounds when he came upon an injured child, and his panicked rushing into action is what lowers his guard and leads to him being kidnapped. Then, the child would be in the room while Saul was being tortured and she would be the apparition used to torture him instead of Sky. But sometimes less is more so I just didn’t show Saul’s kidnapping, and also I wanted Sky to have a larger role so I changed it to Sky being the apparition.

The fairy who tortures Saul is an earth fairy… know who else is an earth fairy? Ben.

Chapters 14-20

This chapter(s) took the longest. I had such a hard time getting inside Farah’s head before I settled on the rage. I was actually getting the first professional massage of my life, on my honeymoon, when the lightbulb went off: RAGE!! ANGER!!! IRRATIONALITY AND POOR DECISION MAKING CAUSED BY FEAR! All good thoughts to have on your honeymoon.

I think we all knew Saul wasn’t going to betray Farah, but I wanted to leave it as ambiguous as long as possible for the reader. At one point in draft stages, Farah was going to wake up in bed with Saul on top of her, one hand muffling her mouth and the other holding a knife to her throat. Sexy, right?

Chapter 21

The mole! I was angling for the clues to lead to Gehrheart but I had just kind of kicked the can down the road for what the payoff was going to be. I don’t remember exactly when in the story I decided to change it to Ben but it was after S2 (fake Ben!! Who is that man!! evil!!). It was just too delicious not to pass up. The key turning point for Ben was the caravan trip to Telluride when he mentions he hasn’t heard from Terra in awhile. Offscreen, Ben finds out that Andreas is holding Terra hostage for his compliance; he’s the one who sets up Saul’s kidnapping and plants the suit jacket. Farah and Saul know they can’t plan anything in view of the council, because they assume the mole is in the council, so they plot with Bloom in her bedroom, and go back to the council to set up a fake story/concern about how to resolve Saul’s situation. That way Andreas would have fake info passed from Ben (who didn’t know it was fake) and from Sky (who did).

Epilogue

Since Fate was filmed in Ireland, everything in my head for Domino is vaguely Celtic. Royal weddings in Domino are sealed by a stylized dance, to the tune of music in the vein of The Captain’s Dance by Marcus Warner (Youtube; Spotify).

🥺🥺🥺 hope you enjoyed. After reading comments and chatting in the WinxSource server I realized there were so many loose ends I could easily tie up with a couple hundred words... that turned into 6k oops. I have a hard time seeing the forest for the trees when I’m in them. Letting myself rest after finishing Chapter 21 helped me see what I needed to see, and writing this wrap-up was cathartic as well.

You! You’re stellar for reading this! I am always open to chatting more about my fics or today’s tea or another fic you love you want to share! Thank you for reading my ramblings, and my slightly-less-rambling fic, and time to go back into that wave.

#my writing #battle lines #silrah

39 notes · View notes